BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

There was a second part to [her] question which was: “I was wondering if you can please explain about how thoughts and actions and appearances are connected to each other?”

There is one cause. And if you can see it as one cause, this one cause is Consciousness itself. If you can see it like this, then it is very simple. But if we start then trying to delve into Karma, and this action, reaction, phenomenal movement, and all of this, then all the complication can start. If you can see that it is in the Presence of your Being that this entire play goes on, and when Being is not here there is nothing, nothing phenomenal, to report on. There is just a simple awareness of this Nothingness.

So then, in the Presence of Consciousness, if this play is going on like this…, there is a beautiful line in the Yoga Vasistha which says that the crow comes and sits on a branch of a coconut tree, and a coconut falls down. It’s very beautiful, it’s very subtle. The mind will make this pattern, will make this correlation, that because a crow went and sat on the coconut branch, that’s why this coconut fell down. But it just happened, you see?

The crow coming, the crow sitting there, coconut falling; all is in service to your Being. All is an appearance for your Being. If you let the mind in, it will say ‘this equals this, therefore this’ and it tries to create patterns where none exist. Anything is possible in the next moment. In the next instant this body could drop; it’s completely possible.

So it can seem like ‘I thought this therefore I did this’. But you will not be able to tell me the link between the thought and the action. The link is always only imagined. This ‘I’ who thought this, and this ‘I’ who did this is only imagined. That’s why my Master says: ‘You are not the thinker of thought, nor the doer of action’. Thought is coming, thought is going; action is coming, action is going. It’s all one big seeming.

Otherwise, it can seem like ‘Oh, I must do something. What should I do, what can I not do?’ And if this is strong, then even for this we have given you a simple pointing, isn’t it?  Even for this ‘What should I do?’ we’ve given you a very simple pointing. It is: Just don’t believe your next thought.

I know I keep belaboring this point. The point is that we just have these two days now before the break for five weeks [since Mooji is in Rishikesh, no Ananta satsangs for those 5 weeks]. And it can be that something is still resisting the simplest of pointings; the simplest of pointings which can show you that you ARE free from suffering in this moment.

So sometimes the mind can come and say ‘Yes, yes, not believing my next thought works for most situations’. The mind can create this sort of resistance. ‘Yes it works, mostly but with my body pain thing it doesn’t work’. It’s not true like this. It’s not true.

You cannot suffer without believing a thought. It can be anything. You can say ‘Yes, not believing my next thought works for everything except my relationship. In the relationship, I better show up as a person and start believing my thoughts’. Anything, anything where there is some attachment, in the appearance we have created some unnatural attachment, then we can play like this; the resistance can come.

So for you it might be pain, for someone else it might be relationship, for somebody else it might be work, you see. Many times we get this question also that ‘When at work, I have to believe my thoughts’. It’s not true. It’s not true.

So this cause and effect is just a fallacy, just a fallacy. And I can give it to you in Latin if you like. You’ve heard me say it before, isn’t it? It’s ‘post hoc ergo propter hoc’. Just because something followed another thing doesn’t mean that the prior thing is the cause of it.

Because we make a thread; we make this imagination seem real, the imagination of the person. And if this person seems real, then all this is happening to the person. ‘Oh, the person had this thought. The person did this action’. Actually most of humanity is also believing that they’re creating their thoughts. ‘I must think positive’.  We’re in this belief that we’re creating our thoughts.

We try and think positive, ‘think positive’, and sometimes the mind goes along for a while just to play with you. ‘I can do it, yes!’  Then in two minutes something will come up. And you can see this when there are silent retreats, or some beautiful settings like this, you see, and then everybody, initially is very quiet, it’s very beautiful. Somebody steps out and they shout by mistake, huh, and everybody’s mind starts attacking them immediately saying ‘Why can’t they be quiet? They can’t follow an instruction’. How long does this ‘think positive’ last? It doesn’t. Just a game.

So most of humanity is believing that they are the creators, as personal creators of thoughts. How do you create your thought? What raw material do you use? How do you pull up the words? How do you put them together? Can anyone answer this? Do you take the alphabet from somewhere and you say ‘This is what I’m going to think’? Is it like this? You’ll see it is not like this. It is just coming.

So now most of you who are in satsang can see that ‘Yes, a thought is just appearing’. But sometimes what is sticky is this belief that ‘the action is as a result of my thought’. But so many actions are happening right now. Your entire body is moving.  Internally, so many processes are happening; your heart is beating, your eyes are blinking. Who is doing all of this?

It is the same Consciousness which is beating your heart, which is also the cause of all action. And when you remove this concept of doership, if you remove these concepts of cause and effect, then every moment is so beautifully fresh.

Otherwise we’re just constantly worried about [the] past; living our life in the past, or worried about the future. What about Now? What about Now?  Why are we so attracted to speaking about past or future? Why not now? [short silence]

So allow the Presence of satsang to dip your attention in the Now. And today what might be happening is that ‘Oh, I said, everyone should come up for some time [on the Google Hangout to be seen], so most of the time you’re just thinking about what you’re going to say when you come up. It’s not like this. Let that also just flow. Let it just flow.

There is only one cause and one effect which is Consciousness itself. And even if it is applicable, the law of Karma, even if it was applicable, that your thoughts create action, and then your action creates reaction, which then creates thought, which then creates new action…, even if all of this was there, Law of Karma, like this it operates…, even if it was there, does it really work on you? Is it really operating on you? Or is it only operating on this conceptual entity called the person, on this imagined entity called ‘the person’?

So, I’m not saying that Karma is not there. I’m only saying it’s not for You. It’s just for this play, for this dream character. And as long as you want a particular outcome with this dream character, then it will only get sticky and sticky. That’s why it’s good to clarify.  Even very openly you can say in Satsang: ‘This is what I want. I want Freedom but Freedom must have these conditions along with it’.  Then at least you’re clear ‘Okay, this will convince you of your Freedom’.

Who wants freedom?

An arm went up there. Good, good, good, good.

What is this freedom that you want? What is this freedom that you want?

You’re so clear you wanted it, [Laughter], now you are working hard to try and figure out what it is that you want.

Q: “I think I just know that I went like that…, [Showing gesture of raising the arm]. I guess it’s just the ideas actually.”

A: Yes, yes, yes.

Q: “No substance. It’s just an idea.”

A: The wanting of freedom is not freedom, you see. Freedom is here. The wanting of freedom is pretend bondage. It’s just like, we’re standing here, we’re sitting here, and then we pretend there’s a jail around us. There are these iron bars around us, and we keep pretending that there is some bondage around us. ‘See, I want to break free, break free’. Then I say ‘Show me the bars’. [Then you say] ‘Oh, where are they? Where are they?’ There are no bars.

So in this now, in this present moment, there is not even the wanting of freedom. Freedom is just…, if it’s just an idea like this, then it’s just the make-believe walls of this prison.

Because no body can show me any bondage in this moment. All bondage comes from ideas. Isn’t it like this? All bondage only comes from ideas.

Q: [Laughter] “Yes. I put my hand down.” [Laughter]

Q: Can I say something please?

Yes, of course.

Q: You know towards the end of the last satsang, you said to me ‘When you look, you only see Freedom, but you cannot make me believe’. You said ‘Ok, what do I need to convince me?’ After the satsang finished, all these thoughts… The first thought that came to me (was) ‘If he can’t even convince me, what is the point of going to Satsang?’

Yes, yes, that’s good. ‘He can’t even convince me’. Yes, I know this, I know these thoughts. (Laughter)

Q: And then all these ideas came up; what Freedom should be. Most of it I could see they are just ideas that I collected from what I hear other people describe it as, or when they share their experience, I think ‘Oh that sounds juicy’. My experience is not like that. But the one that stuck was that ‘Oh, if it’s true then there is no feeling of Oneness’. Like, ‘Oh I don’t feel Oneness. If Oneness is not there then how can it be true?’ I…I…that’s the one that kind of….

Oh, this is good. Many of us have this question, which is that ‘Yes, complete Freedom is in the Now but where is Oneness that they speak of?’

Oneness is What? Oneness is What? Oneness is…..

Where is the Twoness that has to become Oneness, with another appearance, or what are we speaking of, with another person?

Q: Yes, I realize it was…, Oh, because when I speak there is a ‘me’ and I feel there is a ‘you’ and then there is all these ‘others’. So yes, I was expecting some kind of a feeling of… suddenly I should feel like there is no me and you and all these others, there is just One. And it doesn’t feel like that.

It is good you say like this. And that’s why we often talk about this example of Awareness and ‘appearance’. So in this, what happens is that what is really happening is that we want these separate, separate appearances like One. Isn’t it?

We want these separate Appearances, (my body, this body, this another-one, anyone I should meet); it should all seem like one. It is another invented idea of Oneness. This is the invented idea of Oneness.

The Oneness we speak of is to see that: Yes, Awareness is here and Awareness is the root of all of this. Even Consciousness is born from this Awareness.

So this Being is here.

So there is One Seeing, One Being.

Then, in this one Being there seems to be the rising of all these multitude of billions of appearances. But it is still One Being.

You cannot testify to the validity of another Being. You can only say ‘I Am’. You can never say ‘You Are’.

In this way it is seen that this Oneness is here. This is Oneness. It is not a forced Oneness that ‘I must see everyone as One, I must love everyone equally’. You see, all these kind of questions can come…, ‘If I am Free, then my children and any other children must seem like they are the same to me. But I feel that I have to be a parent to my children, and I don’t feel that I have to be a parent to every child. Why is this?’

So the mind can play these kind of tricks. It is just that Consciousness is playing those roles, in the appearance itself.  All these roles are being played. So don’t expect that the movie will change. All that is going to happen is that you see that ‘All of this is happening in the light of my Being. This movie is projected in the light of my Being’. And this is Oneness

You can never prove the existence of Two. Only this pure unassociated Being can be experienced here. And from this vantage point, then you cannot show me any Two. All you can say that ‘All this is just appearing and disappearing, appearing and disappearing’.  And we are not concerned with the Appearances.

You will also see that there is never the ‘appearance’ without you. Some of this might sound little silly. But you must look at it, because the mind will resist. It is not silly, it is very beautiful and subtle.

To see that in this world of appearances, first there must be a Presence of Me; a presence of I Am.

For any experience first there must be this ‘I Am-ness’. It could be dream experience, it could be this so-called waking experience. There is always a You first. This Being is there first, then all the appearances can dance around in the way they want. But this Being is not spilt up in any way.

And then it might happen that, once you see this, once you marinate in this then you might feel like hugging everybody around you. But that doesn’t mean that it is more Oneness. It might feel like you want to go live in a cave also. Either is ok.

That is just a movement in appearance. That has nothing to do with reality of Freedom. Don’t let your mind dictate what Freedom looks like, because the mind knows nothing about it. And billions are trying to find peace, they are trying to find happiness through the mind. And nobody is finding; not lasting peace anyways.

What is everybody doing? 99.9999% of humanity is just dancing to the tunes of the mind. Isn’t it? Are they finding everlasting Freedom from suffering? Anybody you know? It doesn’t work like this, doesn’t work like this.

So even in satsang or even in spirituality, if we are going to dance to the tunes of the mind then we will just keep dancing only. We will not come to rest. We will keep running of this treadmill, which is not going anywhere.

So don’t tell me what your thoughts are saying. Tell me what YOU are saying.

[Ananta looks at Questioner] That smile says a lot, you see. It says much more than the thoughts can say.

Drop any concept about Freedom. There is nothing like Freedom, forget about it.

Papaji used to be even stronger. Papaji would say that ‘It is not going to happen to you, just forget about it’. At least he used to say ‘…not in this lifetime at least. Wait for your next birth, then we’ll see what happens.’

And many would say ‘This is so much relief’. It sounds like something strong, you see, and then so much relief comes over. It is the seeker identity is dropped. Then no possibility of specialness, arrogance; nothing can come. Freedom…, Freedom…, what is that? I don’t know.

Don’t go for Freedom. Don’t go for Freedom.

Just stay here Now. This moment, right Now.

Going for Freedom is still going somewhere; trying to go somewhere, trying to get something.

Okay, so if any of you want to go somewhere, get something, at least first tell me what you are going to find. What are you looking for? What is missing here now and then we will see. I’ll give my stamp of approval saying ‘Yes, you go’. Give me a good answer to what is missing now and where you must go to find it and my blessings are with you to go and find it. Any of you, not just this one on the hot-spot right now.

Q: Father, Could I speak now please?

Yes, my dear.

Q: I just want to say, in the last few days, there have been lots of pretty painful experiences; and when I first came to Satsang, I was gonna say ‘this happened’ and’ that happened’ and ‘I was this’ and ‘I was that’. And as I’ve been sitting here listening to you, I just realized that through all these painful experiences, there’s been no suffering an all. There’s just been peace. And the pain is felt, I have felt pain, but there’s no suffering. Little things happen but it feels like they just dissolve and sort themselves out. And I’m in your heart and you’re in my heart, and there’s nothing more that needs to be done. Nothing. Everything unfolds as it’s meant to. I just wanted to come here and say ‘Thank you so much, thank you’.”

This is very good, very good. Pain will not stop. You will lose the ability to suffer. This conditioned world, in this realm there is going to be pain. It could be emotional pain, it could be physical body pain. See, momentary, all these things will happen. You will find that you cannot hold on to any of it, if it is allowed.

Strong emotion might come up sometime; it might seem painful. We’re not even the judge of whether it is coming or it is going, what is happening, because it is all God’s problem. All the Satguru’s problem. So let the one who is appearing as life, also take care of life.  [Silence]

Then you are completely open to the pain also, completely open.

Many have this idea that, one who is true will not say ouch, complaining. It’s not like this; that is just another mind trick. So pain can come, the ouch can come, all of this can come. But You-as-Awareness are completely untouched by it.

Like I was saying, many of you have no desire for any outcome. You know, many of us are still waiting for an outcome of a ‘free person’.

When we have no desire for any outcome, that itself is freedom.

Freedom is not waiting.

The question just came to me saying ‘Why do we wake up?’ And I don’t mean wake up in the liberation sense or moksha sense. I just mean, why do we wake up? Why don’t we just spend all our time in deep sleep state? Even if it automatically wakes up, we can take some medication and just sleep all day, isn’t it? But why do we wake up? There must be something which wants to taste this Being, experience Being. Why? Because this Being is so sublime, so beautiful. But then what happens is this Being comes and very quickly all the other seeming-distractions also come, the world of appearances. And we very quickly we put all our attention and belief into the distractions of the appearances which are there. And we forgot that this pure Being woke up. Your own Presence.

The presence of God is already here. Waking state means the presence of God is here. This is exactly what they must have meant when they said that ‘You’re already sitting on top of the treasure and you’re begging for pennies’.  Gangaji has this book called ‘Diamond In Your Pocket’. So what is this diamond in your pocket? And if you have a diamond in your pocket then why do you go around looking for other small, small rocks and pebbles? It’s very simple like this.

Waking state means presence of God is here. The mind will say ‘But I don’t feel the presence of God’. But it’s very simple. In this simple question, we have made it very easy; because you cannot stop being now. Can you stop being now? This Being which cannot be stopped, this Presence which is here; That I Am. I exist. It’s undeniable, except from the mind. The mind can say anything it wants. You see?

So if waking state is here, and that means the presence of God is here, now what else could we want? Can there be any wanting which is more beautiful than what is already here? So, the true point of Satsang actually is to bring you back to this Holy Presence. And if this is done, then it is done. Because this Presence is there. Then to see that I am aware even of this Presence is very easy. You see?

And sometimes in Satsang actually you take a giant leap, which is beyond even Presence. You automatically, very quickly see that: ‘Yes I’m this simple awareness of all that is.’

Some of you have said this, isn’t it?  That ‘I did not even come to this stage of experiencing this Presence. It was so clear that I’m just the simple witnessing of all this that I see no inclination even to marinate in this holy Presence’. Many of you have had this also. The direct, quantum leap, beyond even Presence, straight to the Absolute.  So you must not feel, if this happened, you must not feel ‘Oh, I missed out on something’. So even this Being, even the Presence of God is born within you. And you have tasted this now tasteless Presence of Your own true Self.  So Awareness has no taste even, you see?

When we say ‘Are you aware now?’ the mind will look for a taste. But actually, you see that ‘Yes, of course I’m aware, but there’s no taste in this’. It’s like pure water has no taste. Awareness being aware of itself has no taste. So it can be very, very easy like this. The tasteless Awareness and the sublime Beingness. What else is needed? Can there be anything at all which you can say is missing?

But neither of these are understandable by the mind. So if you try to convince your mind about something, if you want to know something, then the whole thing starts. Then the seeker identity, all that trouble, will start. But it’s very simple like this. Just to see that this pure Awareness is here. And sometimes you find that attention, everything, is drowning in the holy Presence of you own Being.  You lose track of all time and space. There’s no room for time, there’s no room for space. There’s no interest in it actually.

So there’s this beautiful sublimity in your own Being. There is no experience in the appearance, which is as pure as This. Nothing that the senses can bring you can match this pure innocence of Being itself. Everything is complete here. It’s no effort, no time, nothing.

Then in the Presence of Satsang, the power of this mind gets dissolved; so that it stops being a distraction as much as it was. Very simply, you just see what is already here. Untouched Beingness; unassociated, unconcerned. And you are higher than that also. You are That which is unconcerned even with Beingness. Even with the Presence or absence of Beingness, you are not concerned.

This world of appearances is just a projection of this Consciousness. And even in the projection, you create these metaphors for what is real. So just the attention taking a dip in Beingness is like metaphorically represented as you taking a dip in the Ganga or you getting a darshan of Arunachala (or something like that). These are just visual metaphors actually for what is truly happening. Right now your attention can just take a dip inside your own Beingness. And you will find that the love, peace and joy, they come to experience this beautiful dip of your attention into Atma, into Beingness. And every force, every energy rejoices this beautiful experience of just attention marinating in this pure Being which is here.

This is the nectar of your immortality. This is the amrit that they speak of. This is the real Ganga. Nothing can touch you here. You cannot be attacked. Nothing needs to be defended. [Silence]

I’m not here to play with any words, because too much word play is already here in this appearance. There are a lot of words. I’m here to point to the living experience of Your own holy Presence, which sometimes you seem to forget. [Silence]

Just forget about everything you have learned. Forget about that which you think you have become. And in this moment, experience the birth of Being, which is completely fresh every moment. And yet you remain the unborn.

God can take birth inside you and God can play with the world as much as it likes. But you cannot be born here. [Long Silence]

Let your life belong to this God, this Being. Let all actions belong to this Being. Emotions belong to this Being. You remain as the unborn Witnessing, the unborn Awareness.

Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi]’s Presence is here.

And this is his blessing for all of you.

May you be forever free from all delusions and remain at peace.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

What if we could just realize the right Self now? And see that this is my true Self. Self Realization is only this seeing that ‘I Am this pure Awareness Itself and I could never have been this person’.

All moves through the will of the Being which is present here. Even rebirths will happen through Your will as God. It will not be contrary to your Being. So the Presence here, the God here, the Consciousness here, the ‘I Am-ness’ is the one doer and the one experiencer. All moves in accordance with His will. This Beingness is You. And ultimately we can say that this Beingness also is born within You and also dissolves within You; therefore is made up of Awareness as well.

Nothing can happen to you contrary to Your will; even rebirths. Rebirth will only happen if it Your will that you want some more of this phenomenal experiencing. If you have had enough of this phenomenal experiencing, then I don’t feel that it can happen. So I am speaking to You as Consciousness itself. Obviously all of this cannot depend on the whims and fancies of a person, so we cannot have a conversation like this with the mind because the mind cannot understand this. But You-as-Consciousness, somewhere it must remain true, what is being spoken here, even if the mind comes to resist. Even that resistance is seen. But somewhere, something must be ringing true; that’s why these words also, are emerging like this.

So let us look at this Self-realization. For this realization of the Self, we have this simple question that we can ask, which is: ‘Am I Aware Now?’

Put aside, just for a few moments, this resistance that ‘Self-realization cannot be this simple’. This thought will come that ‘It cannot be this. Or even if it is this, then I have to abide in it’ or something like that. Just put all of that aside. Very innocently ask yourself this question: ‘Am I Aware Now?’

You will not see anything. If you are seeing a visual, that is pretending to be Awareness, reject that visual also. Don’t give any belief to that. Just simply: ‘Am I Aware Now?’

Like this, in great simplicity, you will find that Awareness is here: ‘Yes, I Am Aware’.

But how do I know this? Because there is awareness even of Awareness itself. This, simply like this, is the realization of the Self. And it cannot leave you, it cannot leave You. You Are That. You Are This.

This Awareness is the Awareness which is aware of the entire universe of phenomenal appearance. So the appearance of the mind will come and go but the Awareness which is aware of nothing and something, which is aware of mind and no mind, which is aware of body and no body, aware of work and no work: This Awareness You Are. This is the Self and you are realizing it.

So, Self-realization actually is the simplest thing, simpler than simple. That is why it is completely impossible for the mind. That which needs no effort is completely impossible for the mind, because the mind is only focused on ‘What should I do? What next?’ This is all the language that the mind understands. And this is the tendency which is getting erased now. This is a very deep, very primal tendency; a very deep conditioning of ‘What do I do next? Yes, I have understood and there is peace now, but what do I do now?’ So this also will get burnt in this fire of Satsang, as long as we don’t feed it with something. That is why I am not giving you a practice, because to give you a practice would be to feed it with something, which would give some validity to this question ‘What next?’ or ‘What do I do?’ If I give you something, it is like giving these tendencies something to eat and make it stronger.

Notice here, right now, is not concerned about ‘the next’. It is only the voice of this mind that says ‘What next?’ You are the Self, you have only been the Self. You cannot become a non-self even if you tried. You cannot become ‘the person’ even if you give it all your attention and belief. You can only pretend, you can never become. Because there is always the Awareness which is aware even of this play of pretending to be a person and the withdrawal of pretending to be a person. Isn’t it? This You which is aware that You Are Aware, it’s not a complicated sentence. You are aware that Awareness is here. You are aware that You are aware. This one is prior to the mind. I Am Aware, I Am Awareness. The mind is not a party to this type of conversation because it doesn’t know what the hell we are talking about, because awareness is so, so far beyond its realm of understanding that it has no clue right now.

So that is why, for some of you, there might be a little resistance; some frustration might be coming. Because it doesn’t know. So even this monkey, let it jump around and throw all the tantrums it wants. Some kids have this ability that when they throw tantrums they can become blue, they can hold their breath and become blue, and that can cause some fear. But this one, let the mind throw whatever tantrums. Let it say ‘I don’t understand. This is too difficult. This path is not for me. Why am I stuck here?’ All this rubbish can come. But you see that there is an awareness even of this tantrum, of whatever the mind could be saying.

You will never find Yourself, if you were to just look, you will never find yourself in the content. You will never find yourself in the appearance. You will always say that ‘I Am this Awareness Itself”. Because if I was to ask you ‘What is the distance between yourSelf and This Awareness?’ what would you say? [You’d say] ‘No distance’. So That which is at no distance from me, That which has no separation from me, then I must be That. Isn’t it? What do we call That which is of no distance and has no separation from me? Then That must be Me Itself.

This pure seeing can never find any separation, can find nothing that distinguishes this seeing from I, the Absolute I. Therefore: I must be this Awareness Itself.

The person cannot handle a single relationship. So if you try to do it with your mind, you will only get to frustration, you will only get to friction; all kinds of things that exist in all relationships, most relationships.

So first don’t expect them to change. You see, what is the trouble in relationships is that we want them to give us our freedom completely, but we want them to change. And like this, (if you hear it for the first time you might not get the contradiction in this), the irony in this, you see, is that we want complete freedom, complete freedom to be exactly as we please, but we are not willing to give the same freedom to our loved ones. Are we willing to accept their non-acceptance of us? So their non-accepting of an attribute; it could be satsang. Suppose they don’t accept satsang? Are you accepting that they are allowed to be like this, or are you treating their non-acceptance with your own non-acceptance? So then non-acceptance is meeting non-acceptance and causes all the explosions.

In this realm, in this play of interpersonal relationships, it needs two egos for there to be conflict. In the play it seems like it is two egos, but actually it’s ‘the same guy’. But here, if you are not responding to these situations from the ego, from this concept of belief in thoughts, then how is it possible to have [conflict]? So remember that I am speaking in the realm of relationships.

From the ultimate perspective even all of this play, even conflict, is all the doing of Consciousness itself. But right now that might not be the most helpful thing for you to hear. So you must say that “What is the trouble? The trouble is that I want to be exactly the way I want to be, but am I giving the same freedom to everyone? Am I giving the same freedom to the world?’ And then what trouble can God have in dealing with a relationship? Can God have any trouble in dealing with any relationship? But don’t expect God to dance to your mind’s tunes. Your mind is saying that ‘I want the relationship to go in a particular way’. And the mind knows nothing. It does not know what you truly need.

I had a beautiful conversation with a friend the other day and he was saying that ‘It is so beautiful how this relationship happened. We just met and things just seemed to flow, and so beautifully we were in this beautiful relationship; now why does there have to be conflict? Why does there have to be conflict?’ It had to be said that: this is the same one who is running that show of getting together so beautifully which is also running this show of this seeming conflict.

The life in every moment is giving us a gift of teaching us acceptance. To be able to let go is the greatest acceptance. And letting go does not mean it has to be let go in the physical realm, but let go of all concepts about relationships. And then you will see that all of this that happens in this phenomenal realm is just playing out on its own.

And don’t have any concepts about it. Many of you have these concepts like ‘Okay, now that I am free or now that I am coming to satsang, then my body should not get sick. Nothing should happen because I am the free one now, enlightened one; my body should not get sick’. In the same way you might have a concept that ‘Okay, now that I am free, then I should not have any conflict in any interpersonal situations’. It’s not necessarily like this.

It can come, it can play out sometimes; anger can come and irritation can come, all these can come. But what you will find is that none of it can last. So anger can come but resentment cannot come, resentment cannot last. Sometimes I tell you like this, isn’t it, that sometimes I could start an argument or that I could find myself in an argument and midway through the argument I start laughing and wondering what is going on. But then, just to keep up the game, you have to come up and say something, you see? So like this, you are unable to hold onto any resentment as you see the game in all of this. You see the unreality of the person here and there. Actually spiritual…, the ones in Sangha have this very common problem which is that they are still able to see that they are not the person here, but they are not able to see that there is no person ever in front of them. No person exists.

So we have not made a non-person out of you, we have not made a non-person out of you. We have only showed you what You Are. So we have taken something which was getting all your attention and belief, and we have asked you to keep it aside for just an instant and just too really check what you are. And you saw that ‘I cannot be this, I cannot be just an idea’. And in this simple seeing, this person concept starts dissolving. Because there was never a person here and there is never another person in the appearance also.

It is all One Being, it is all One Seeing.

Now, how can you hold a grievance? Who are you holding a grievance against? You are not holding, isn’t it? Because then it is God holding a grievance against God himself. If there is no person, then who has the grievance and against who?

So is there someone here who is not able to let go of a grievance? Then you throw it in the fire of satsang today and be done with it.

You are asking these questions. Very good. Because most of the world has confused love and need. You see, like you said, love and attachment, it’s not the same thing actually. It’s very different, you see.

Love is not the same as attachment, love is not the same as need. What is love? What is love? The Presence of Being; then there are the arising of these energies called love, called peace, called joy, called bliss. There is nothing you can do to create love. See, love arises on its own.

And, we say that, for the unassociated Being, when you are empty of concepts then you will find that love is in service to you.

So, this is love. It’s very pure, very beautiful.

And what is need? Need needs a lot of work. Need needs belief in concepts.  Need needs. [Laughter] Need needs us; for us to believe in some thoughts. And when we believe ourselves to be a person, then we can say that ‘I-as-a-person need companionship. I need the other. I need to be taken care of. I need to be loved’.

All this need. There cannot be need without first believing in the person concept, you see? So this need is called attachment. That ‘I cannot do without this one’ is just a thought, you see.

It seems like we are sitting with our beloved. Where are we actually? We’re still just the witness of the entire play.

So first we must have invented this person, given belief to this person, to then have attachments; because all attachments are personal. All attachments are personal, you see, but true love is not personal. True love is freedom.

If there is true love in a relationship, you will not try to bind them and they will not try to bind you.

But need needs to hold on, it needs to grasp. It needs a relationship to go in a certain way.

So then, the question is: ‘Ok, I have understood now that love and attachments are two different things. So now, what should I do? Now what should I do?’

And then, we can answer. To this question we can say:  ‘Just allow your Presence to speak. Don’t have any concepts about relationship, and you’re there. Another is in front of you,  a seeming-another is in front of you; let the One who has created this situation also come up with the words that are supposed to be spoken. Let everything flow like this very beautifully. No trying to manipulate, no trying to maneuver.

So the Self can play, Consciousness actually can play the role of a mother, a child, of a beloved. All roles can be played very easily.

Can the One who is running this entire Universe not run your life? It is actually His life.  This one that says ‘It is my life, as a separate one’ does not exist at all.

Your life is whose problem?

You said, ‘So the understanding is the same as experience. Thank you Father’.

This is very good. Yes, yes.  That’s why we say that true understanding is not coming from mental concepts. It’s not just something theoretical. We can see like this, we can verify this instant.

So this mind, it’s nothing but a bundle of these energies. They seem like thoughts, they seem like memories, imagination. And then emotions, another set of energies. And then we label them – anger, regret, fear, excitement. Just energies.

And how do we experience the body? We’re also aware of the sensations which seem to appear in the body. Another set of energies.

And how do we experience the outer seeming world? Any physicist will tell you that its just another form of energies, which are senses are able to perceive. So this entire appearance is just a set of different energies. And this can be checked right away.

So we can see that the thoughts are just coming and going. Emotions also are there… and different sort of qualitative feeling about them. And how do you experience the body also? Why do you say that ‘it is my body’? All of us can check this right now. Become aware of all the sensations in the body. And these sensations are just appearances.

Notice where you are. It can seem like you are inside the body. It can seem like you are inside the head. That’s only because these sensations are here. But where are you aware of these sensations from? Aren’t they just sensations which seem to be appearing in front of you and disappearing in front of you? Are these sensations happening to you? Or are you just aware of them?

All this bundle of emotions, soup of sensations, is any of this happening to a tangible entity called ‘you’? Can we look right now and find such an entity? Without using our imagination. Without using our minds. Can we find the experiencer of these energies and sensations? Is there anything tangible that you can call a ‘you’ or a ‘me’? Where is the Awareness of all of these sensations? Is the body aware of itself? Or is Awareness aware of the body also?

Pick up any sensation in your body, bring your attention to it and find out who is a aware of this sensation? And is this Awareness in any way affected by whatever the sensation might be? Whatever the bodily sensation might be, is this Awareness touched by it?

[Silence]

You are aware of this sensation. This sensation is not aware of you. And in this way you stay completely untouched by whatever might be happening in the body, by whatever movement might be happening, whatever sensations might be happening because you can see that you are the Awareness.

Check if this Awareness is concerned by the appearance or disappearance of anything at all. Find out if this Awareness has any preferences.

[Silence]

This body is dying. All bodies are dying. But can you die? Can this Awareness be touched by death also? Are you really concerned whether this sensation of the body stays or goes? Do you have a preference even in this? Or are even these preferences just imagined?

[Silence]

Observe if there is any pain in the body. And in most bodies, on looking for it you will be able to find some pain that you might not even have been aware of. And just stay with it. Don’t try to fight it. Notice that Awareness is unaffected even with this pain. You have no preference even about pain.

Set your body free from the oppression of the mind. This is God’s body. The entire phenomenal universe is the body of God. And this body also belongs to Being – just like the entire universe belongs to Being, this body is also Being’s problem. This Being does everything. This Consciousness, this I Am-ness is the One Doer. So who are you that pretends to take care of this body?

Who am I? What am I? Where am I?

May all of us be forever free from all concepts about the body.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

Satguru Sri Moojiji ki Jai! [Namaste]

Satsang is not in the words. Before the words start, the mind says ‘I’m waiting for satsang to start’. But actually Satsang already started, you see? Sometimes words can be a distraction; from even the Presence which is here in satsang, even the words can seem like a distraction.

What is left to be heard now? Actually in satsang, we always say the same thing. [chuckles] There’s different ways of saying the same thing. Yes, but they are good reminders. And because we’ve heard the same thing that ‘I am a person, I am the body-mind’…, we’ve heard this from our mind and we’ve heard it from everyone else in the world, therefore it must be needing some reminder here also; to remind you that you are not that, that you can never be that.

But words also are just part of the reminder. The true reminder is to See, the true reminder is to check. Therefore satsang is the beautiful Presence of Being itself. The company of the Truth means to be in the Presence of the Truth. To be in the company of ‘sat’ means to be in the company of Truth. And what is the Truth? Your whole Presence, your own Presence.

Are you satisfied with just the company of your own Presence? Or are you still needing something else?

And in satsang, most of you actually cannot deny that the Presence is here. You cannot deny that the Presence is here. Because in satsang mostly, after the initial resistance, in satsang the mind cannot be very strong usually. Sometimes it can come in spurts like that, but usually it settles in very fast. As Moojiji calls it, the defrosting has happened, you see. So once the defrosting has happened, then you cannot deny that your own Presence is here. And this Presence is the company of the Truth.

Do you need anything else; when God Himself is your own Presence, what else could you need?

Your own Holy Presence is God Himself.

The Sat-Chit-Ananda: Truth, Consciousness, Bliss, is your own Presence.

All our scripture have been pointing to this Truth for centuries. Since time immemorial, we’ve heard these terms like Sat-Chit-Ananda; and we’ve heard phrases like ‘God said: I Am that I Am’. So this pointing has been available to us. It’s just that it seems like we have not been able to hear it. Or we heard the words, but we could not get the essence, because it was a mental understanding that we were going for. It was a personal understanding which we going for. And now these words seem like common sense, isn’t it?

So, if I were to say that ‘Sat-Chit-Ananda’ is ever-present, most of you can confirm this. The Truth, Consciousness, and the Joy of this Consciousness. It doesn’t have to be an external, outward joy. Just the joy of the Presence Itself has always been here.

Your very Being is This. Your very Being is God, it is Consciousness, it is ‘I Am’. The same One that God said ‘I Am that I Am’. Your own ‘I Am’, the own ‘Am-ness’, the own Beingness. What is this Presence?

And you don’t need to experience even this. As the Witnessing, You are unconcerned even by this Witness. Even with this Witnessing, even this phenomenal experiencing is not something which truly brings You anything; because You stay untouched and unmoved. But this Presence must have given birth so that You could have the joy of this experiencing. And if this pure Presence is there, always in service to You; if God is in service to You, then what are we running around for? What are we running about for?

So, what have the Sages said when they said ‘You are sitting on this treasure chest which is full of all that you could ever imagine?’  Somebody says that ‘The diamond has been in your pocket’. Somebody says that ‘You are begging, sitting on this treasure chest which is full of all the treasures of the world’. They are not exaggerating. In fact they cannot really speak of the glory that You Are, so we have to use they metaphors. But these metaphors cannot really come close to the beauty of Your own Presence.

So this much is clear. This much is clear to all of you; when you’re hear these words, you’re able to verify that ‘I Am here. The ‘I Am’ is here. And I Am the Witness even to this Holy Presence’. It’s very simple. Simpler than simple.

Then, what can happen? Also what is given birth with the birth of Your Holy Presence is that, within this Presence, is the birth of something called ‘the mind’. And this mind is there to trick you into believing that you are a separate person; to give some more juice to this appearance, to make it seem real, as if something is happening to You. So this mind gave birth, and it speaks with some authority, you see. No real authority but it speaks authoritatively. And because it speaks authoritatively, we have learned to follow. We have the power of belief. We have the power to pretend. So this pure Presence is here, but this mind convinces us that it is not enough. You could have some more; you could have something else. And we believe this; because first we believe that I am a separate person.

If it was clear to you that this Presence is God, and God is in service to You, then what would you ask for? What is the wish that you could have? Which relationship would you need, when the creator of the entire Universes is Your own Presence, is in service to You? What could you chase? What would you judge also? What could you say is right or wrong? Which concept is needed now? What real trouble can you have?

So, we just go with the presumption that ‘I am suffering this, I am suffering that; I am feeling this, I am feeling that’. Who is this ‘I’? Which idea about ourself have we picked up? We’ve picked up ideas like ‘Yes, yes, I understand intellectually. But I don’t know this to be an experience, to be my living experience’. Then what must you do? You must just check.

Nothing can prevent this from being your living experience right now.

Self-realization, (if you want to use that concept), is something available every moment.

But you choose something else. You choose thought. You choose to give your belief to the thought. And this is ultimately your only choice. But even this choice is not yours as a person. So I’m not speaking to any person, because no person controls belief. So this is a communion which Consciousness is having with Consciousness itself. And in your Heart, you know it is true like this; although your mind might be resisting, in your Heart you know it is true like this.

So, as Consciousness, You are choosing the concept of the person without really looking at what is present; without really looking at what You truly Are. Just like that drop of water in the ocean, pretending that it is controlling its life; pretending to be separate from the ocean. And in this drop, another appearance of another drop comes, and that drop says ‘Look, look! We are one; we are the ocean itself. It is all just one ocean. And all these drops are just expressions of the same ocean’. And then the drop says ‘Yes, but I get this intellectually’.  Nah? [chuckles] Then what should I say? I can only say: Just check. Please check. Because I cannot check for you. I can only tell you what I have found. And I can see that all of this is just one ocean.

How can I convince you that You-Are-Consciousness? I cannot convince you. You have to check. And because you love me, you might believe me. But if it’s just a belief, it will not last. You see? So even if the belief is useful, it is useful so that you have the momentum to check, you have the openness to check.

Without your looking, the inquiry is of no value. Then we are just peddling in words; and I don’t want to be a peddler of fancy words. If they are not bringing you to a point where your mind opens, and you are just able to see the truth of What You Are, then what is the value of these words? Then we can have the same conversation for many lifetimes, it can be the same. I will keep saying ‘You are a drop in the ocean with no separate existence’ and you will keep saying that ‘Yes, yes, but I don’t feel this’ and I will keep saying ‘Just check’. This can become one really long conversation like this. Because you cannot convince me that you are separate. And I cannot convince your mind that You are One. All that I am hoping to do is to convince you to just look, for your own self.

You see my dilemma? [chuckles] You see, I have to have a lot of ‘kid gloves’. Most of the times I’m wearing a lot of kid gloves, it seems like. Because what happens is if I tell the drop…, I just want to shake the drop sometimes and say ‘Look, look, who you are. These words that you’re speaking are not matching What You Truly Are. Just look’. Then the mind will take it on and say ‘Oh. He’s not being nice to me’. You see? ‘Aren’t Guru’s supposed to be loving?’ And just so that we continue this conversation, sometimes it feels here to just let it happen at its own pace. Just let it happen at its own pace. And then other times, then I ask for your permission to be a little strong.

But what is really the strongest question I can ask you? What is the strongest thing that I can tell you? It is only to check: ‘Who am I? Who is the one who is saying this?’ No stronger dose is required.

Then what happens? You say ‘Yes, yes. I know this is true; this is true’. And then some silence, and then ‘but, but…, what about this?’ But this ‘but’ is not true. It cannot be true. It is just an imagination; it is just a concept.

And you know this now. Most of you know this now. Or as Moojiji sometimes tells us in the sangha, that sometimes I feel that you’re just kidding. Sometimes I feel that you’re just kidding. And then, after I take your question seriously, then you’re going to tell me ‘Got ya!’ [chuckles] It’s like this; he says like this. [chuckling a while].

So, whatever is convincing you that something is happening, don’t believe it. Nothing is happening. Nothing is really happening. To say that something is happening could only mean that we’re falling for that old trick of believing that the appearance is meaningful; it applies to ‘me’. It only means that you’ve invented this ‘me’.

Don’t invent the ‘me’ and then show me a problem. Nobody has been able to do this trick. Who can do it? Don’t invent the ‘me’, don’t pick it up, and then show me a problem.

You see? That’s why we made it super simple. When we say ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ you cannot pick up a ‘me’. What happens when you don’t believe the next thought? We cannot pick up this concept of ‘me’. And without this concept of ‘me’ then there is no trouble.

So, in the picking up of something, if it only leads to trouble, then why do we do it? There must be a part of us that is enjoying this game still. Let’s not even say ‘enjoying’. Maybe there’s a part of us that still finds something in the game meaningful, as if something in the game will get me somewhere. This must definitely be there. Looking for a better end to this story of ‘me’.

Leave your story to God. If you leave your story to God, then you don’t pick up the ‘me’.

[Silence]

You know the best part about having a Master? The best part about having a Guru is that these words are no longer theoretical. These words are no longer just theory. Most of our teachers have been theoretical teachers. They are telling us about some concepts. But the true Master, the best part about having Moojiji in our life, is to see that it is possible for Being to drop this idea of ‘person’. It is completely possible. Then you know that it’s possible for Being to do this. And if it’s possible here, then it must be possible here also.

Someone who is just speaking these words it’s of no value; just speaking these words, it’s of no value. But all of you have an intuitive understanding to be able to see, to be able to perceive where these words come from. Are they coming from a holy, auspicious place? Or are they still coming from a place of separation. All of you can tell.

Q:  Can I expose the basic ‘problem’ that keeps playing here; which is that the ‘person’ keeps showing up…, where Awareness/Witnessing is non-conceptually experienced far beyond and holding it.  Will it ever dissolve?

‘It is that the ‘person’ keeps showing up…, where Awareness/Witnessing is non-conceptually experienced far beyond and holding it’. Person is just a thought. When you say that ‘The person keeps showing up’, we must be saying that this thought keeps coming, some thought keeps coming. ‘Will it ever dissolve?’

Yes. Already you can say that the magnetism of these thoughts are not as much as they used to be. There was a time when I was completely convinced that ‘I am the creator of these thoughts. These thoughts are my voice’.  Now you say that they are just thoughts, some energies. And some might still have some magnetism, but even that is dissolving. That is dissolving.

Then there was something more, and an argument.

Q: You say ‘If Awareness/Witnessing is here, the person won’t be [also here], but it is here often…, totally with Awareness, (even though a speck of unreality it is)…, [‘the ‘person’ is].

So ‘person is here’ means what?  Must be that a thought is here, isn’t it?

Q: Person-idea shows up.

Exactly. Idea is thought.  The energy of a thought is showing up. Constantly some energies can be there. And when we say that ‘Awareness is here and person is here together’…, let’s even say that you can bring a person to life by giving belief to a thought. But can we really say that the person is here without giving belief to these thoughts? That is not possible.

So when you say ‘Awareness is here and then person is there’…, person is not really there. It is just a belief. We have brought this belief to life. And yet it is ever non- existent.  So the person never really existed.  It is just a dream character that we chose to believe.

‘You say ‘If Awareness/Witnessing is here, the person won’t be. But it is here often’.

Here is what? Anything besides a thought? I don’t feel it can be anything besides a thought. Even a thought about some feelings is a thought.

Maybe I should correct myself and say that if you see that you have always been this Awareness, then you also see that the person was never real, was just an imagination.

Q: So, to say ‘you are smelling like a person’ is to say ‘you are smelling like a belief’.

Yes, you are smelling like you are speaking from a belief about yourself. Yes, yes. It’s only a belief.  It has no real tangible existence.

Q: Thank you.

Very welcome my dear.

Don’t pick up the ‘Me’.

[silence]

That is the whole meaning of what we’ve been saying, you see. If you look at this ocean example, it is the same. It’s very clear that it is a drop which is pretending to be separate, saying that  ‘Oh, but this is happening to me. I feel it, that my life has all these up’s and down’s and my choices are making all the difference’.

But who is making the drop go up and down? Is the drop deciding to go up and down? The ocean is moving because the ocean is moving.

[silence]

Now look at all your problems; all the problems which you felt you had, and see how there is a ‘me’ in those.  And if there is a problem which is without the ‘me’ then you can bring it up. I would like to hear something like that. All the problems which you felt you had…, see how there is this invented concept of ‘me’. Without this, the problem dissolves.

Is there anyone now…, (there are ten of us in the hangout, and thirty one of us watching outside), in the forty of us, can we bring up one problem without this ‘me’? Seriously, look at it; and in this moment see that you are FREE from problems. You have never had a problem.  All worry was made up. All fear means nothing. All decisions are this drop in the ocean, pretending to decide whether to go left or right; as if it can do something.

Q:, “No problems I ever had, father. I see it.”

Don’t avoid this question. It might seem trivial, it might seem like ‘This is basic for me. I don’t need to see’. But just see that all these problems are only because I invented a ‘me’ or I picked up the ‘me’. There is no problem without this ‘me’.

Q: Seems like mind is playing a game of indifference, or nothingness here. Very subtle avoidance somehow.

Your Truth cannot be avoided. You are your own unavoidable Truth, which means that this Awareness cannot go anywhere. You cannot turn it off. Even if you believe all the thoughts in your mind and you believe that you’ve become a person, you are actually only this Witnessing. Nothing real can change.

And once you have some sort of fear that ‘Yes, the mind can do this, it can make me avoid myself’ or something like that, then we’re giving it too much belief. It has no power over You. You are the untouched Awareness.

It is the nature of the mind to keep playing all sorts of games. And if you keep trying to change your mind or change the way it behaves, then it will become a struggle. So now you let the mind do whatever it is doing. But where are You?

You said ‘Mind is playing this game’. The game is seen. Then, is the Seeing affected by this game?

Q:  Father, can I say something?

Yes, my dear, yes.

Q: There is a …, I’m not sure if I’m seeing now. There seems to be something mixed up with…, nothingness seems to be mixed up with Awareness somehow. So, like, it has the power to blow Awareness away somehow. It’s so strange, totally strange. I just know that this is not possible, but it’s not my experience right now.

So, let’s see. What is your experience right now? Let’s speak about the Right Now. What’s your experience right now?

Q:  Feeling-less feeling is my experience. I have no other word for this. And this seems to play. Somehow there’s a feeling of nothing, and this seems to be a play.

So, let’s do this slowly. All of us can do like this, okay? So we said ‘What is your experience right now?’ So, right now, there seems to be this world with these appearances in front of you. There is a computer in which there is a hangout where all this is going on, isn’t it? You’re aware of all of this? “Yes.”  There is this whole external world and I am aware of this. This very moment, it seems to be here; this appearance is here. And You-as-Awareness, can you be touched by this external world in any way? “No. No.”

So then, let’s go inside, inside. There can be some emotions, there can be some thoughts, there can be some sense of nothingness; there can even be a sense of nothingness.

So, is this aware of you, or are You aware of it?

Q:  [Laughs] I am aware of it.

Can this appearance also touch this Awareness in any way? Just like this computer cannot really come inside and touch you, can this…, some feeling or some emotion or some thought also touch the Awareness?

Q:  It still seems a little bit like that.

‘Seems as though’ is a feeling. ‘Seems’ is also ‘It feels like that’. Feeling is also appearance. Feeling is also appearance. So we have to just check. How is it possible? How can this feeling really touch Me?

So, it cannot even touch Me; forget about ‘blowing Me away’. So the mind is saying ‘Oh, this feels like it will blow Awareness also away’. But who will report it? Who will report it if there’s no Awareness of it being blown away, then you will not ever be able to say that it can happen.

Q:  [Laughs]

All can happen. All appearances are dancing only for Awareness. Without Awareness, no appearance. Where could Awareness go? You see? Where could it go?

It does not even go in sleep state. Everything else goes; thoughts, feelings, emotions, world, people, relationships, money, body. Everything goes in sleep state. But Awareness still remains. And Awareness is there that ‘I am sleeping’ and Awareness is there that ‘This is the waking state’. So, who decides that this is waking state or sleep state? Who is aware of this? It is Awareness itself.

So, the Presence or absence of Consciousness, the Presence or absence of Consciousness is also.., Awareness is aware of. So the birth of God or the dissolution of God is also …, there is Awareness even of that. So this Awareness in which God gives birth…, and then with the birth of God, all these Universes and all appear; this Awareness, how can something shake It? How can anything blow It away? Just a concept. Just a mind-fear. Just a fear from the mind. It cannot really happen.

Q:  There’s still something in it. I cannot …

Stay with me. You see, sometimes what happens is that we make an image out of Awareness. We say ‘This pure emptiness or nothingness is Awareness. And this now Awareness is going, because something is coming into it’. You see? This is just visuals. This is just visualization. You are the Awareness which is aware of this visualization also. So, don’t give any credence to this visualization. Don’t give any importance to this visualization. You are Aware of Being…

Q: Now I can find it a little better. It’s more like something from the past which I made up to control situations; to make it into nothing so that nothing can touch me. And this somehow has juice because it’s pretty convincing, in a way. Very near. And I did it my whole life. I looked at things from……

This ‘I’ is who?

Q: This ‘I’ …, this identity…, yes, and that’s …, it’s just…, I can just see it. Now I can see it.

So, it played like this. We can say that…., in this expression of Consciousness, we can say that ‘Something played like this, and now it’s coming back’. And now we can see that ‘It played like this’ was all just a play of Consciousness. But I believed that there was an ‘I’ here. I believed that there was a ‘me’ here. And now I look for the ‘me’ and I cannot find it. Yet these tendencies want to keep jumping back and forth. But as long as I don’t feed them with this belief and make a ‘me’ out of it, then they will just dance for a while and will not be so strong, because they’re not getting my belief now’.

But if you indulge them, if you indulge yourself by making them a ‘me’, if you pretend to be a ‘me’ then all this can seem to become strong again.

Q:  Yes. [Silence]. Yes. [Silence] I leave it here with you. [Laughs] That’s the best thing I can do. It’s so new to look from here at it. I never saw it before. So, thank you.

Very welcome. Very good. All this is coming up, and it’s getting exposed in the light of satsang so you can be released from it. All this is getting released. Many times in satsang what happens is we say ‘Oh, this one’s here. I never realized it’s here’. So it’s very auspicious that it comes up, you see, because what comes up you can see like this. It’s very good because it’s getting released. What is hidden, what has been in denial, that is the one that can cause suffering.

Q: Yes.

That which we are not open to facing. That causes suffering, that causes guilt.

Now you’re open for everything. Let it come. And then sometimes great chocolate flavored experiences, sometimes bitter moments…, and all this is coming and it’s getting released.

Q:  Thank you.

Very good. Very welcome.

‘WHO AM I? WHO AM I?’ The most auspicious; the most blessed question that we can ask. Then all this dance of this maya can continue, but we see that ‘I am none of this, and I see that all this arises and goes but I am still here’.

Maybe that’s why we are so attracted to the concept of ‘The last man standing’. There is concept especially, in the old western movies, about the last man standing. So who is the one still standing? Even if it was the dissolution of the universe, what is that which remains?

Here in satsang we say: Become completely empty of all your concepts and beliefs and see this world as an appearance. Who is this? Who is aware of this Universe? WHO AM I?

If this question takes root in you, then Freedom is not far. In fact, you realise that you have always been free. Only the pretend suffering cannot last.

This question itself can seem to make you suffer for some time because at times this question is very frustrating. The question becomes ‘Who am I?’ and the mind comes up with some answers. It pretends to have the answer even to this. But when this answer cannot stand in the light of your own Seeing, then there is sometimes much frustration that ‘What is this-Who am I? Is there any point to this? What will I get by asking this question?’

See, mind will ask ‘What are doing this for? Is there an end to this?’ And the mind says ‘There is no answer. Stop doing this because there is no answer’. There is no verbal answer, but in the looking itself, it is clear. So when we stop searching for an answer from the mind, you see that the true answer, the non-verbal, the non-phenomenal answer has always been here. What is here now?

So this question is not a lifetime inquiry. It can become like that if the ego has a lot of moves, then it will keep countering the inquiry with various objections, with various tricks. But the inquiry ‘Who am I?’ is actually in this moment; it is done, it is beyond time, it is prior to time actually. Then you see what is here, the pure Seeing itself, the pure Awareness, is prior even to time. So how can it take time? That which is prior to time cannot take any time; that which is prior to space cannot need effort in space. Where do you need to go to become free?

So if all concepts of effort and time were let go of, then what is here right now? And even if you are not able to verbalize what is here…, sometimes we struggle to put it into words, but that verbalization is not required. I am not looking for an answer from your mouth. I can see the answer in your eyes.  Sometimes some will come and speak the perfect words, but you see that it is just still concepts. Concepts are cheap. Every one, seven billion of us, are peddling concepts, so concepts have no value. But it is the rare ones who are freeing you from these concepts, who are asking you to be free, to be empty of all of these beliefs. And everyone else is asking you to believe what they believe, because misery loves company. Their beliefs are making them miserable and they want you to share in their misery.

Who Are You without a single belief?

Who Are You without a single story about Yourself?

What is missing HERE?

What is missing NOW?

It is very clear that it is all nothing, nothing, nothing. Isn’t it?

Nothing, and the mind trying to convince you of its ‘somethingness’. Because unless it can convince you of the ‘somethingness’ of this appearance, it cannot convince you about the ‘somethingness’ of you as a ‘person’.

All that it is trying to do is to convince you that this ‘nothing person’ is ‘something’. This ‘nothing person’. Some will hear this ‘nothing person’ and some will be completely joyful to hear it.

Some will feel that something is being attacked. Some will feel, when I say that you are ‘nothing’, some will feel that this is an attack. And others will feel that it’s the most blissful thing that you ever heard. So that even if it is feeling attacked, we can see. What is it, that doesn’t like hearing this ‘I am nothing’, ‘I am nothing’?

Something wants to attack back and say ‘I will show you who I am, I will show you’. And I am waiting for that. I want to see.

Show me who you are. Really. Show me who you are really. Don’t show me what you are pretending to be because that has no value. Don’t show me a concept of what you are. Don’t show me some beliefs that you picked up, ‘Oh I am like this or like that’ then next month you come and say ‘No, I am like this, I am like that’.

And then we wonder why suffering happens. Because these ideas, we are just resting on beliefs. And all beliefs are changing, we pick up new beliefs all the time. So we keep relying on these beliefs; then how will you be steady? How will there be steadiness?

We are relying even on spiritual beliefs, then how will this peace, peace of truth arrive? Then we wonder why suffering happens.

(Inaudible)

What can you tell me about yourself that is not an idea?

Even the most glorious idea is not you. And we are in the habit of picking up, really, some nonsense ideas mostly. ‘Oh, I am an angry person. I am not free because still anger comes. I am not behaving kind’. We pick up all this nonsense usually. ‘I need to be more loving. I am not open enough. I have not understood anything. See the rest of the Sangha, they are so loving, I am not loving enough. I am fake’. All these very popular ideas you pick. Very popular ideas.

It is all rubbish. That is why I am not bothering to convince this one about your true nature. Because this mind cannot understand it; cannot fathom your greatness. Your mind cannot fathom what you are.

‘I say the Universe gives birth in you’. Can the mind understand this? I say that ‘This entire play of appearances is dancing for you’. Can the mind get this? No.

But to simply see that ‘Awareness is what I am; then there is this play of appearances which is dancing in front of me…, so simply it can be seen’.

It doesn’t need the mind. It doesn’t need any effort. Just needs a very innocent simple looking. What is here now?

And then we are very quick to pick up the ’But, but, but, this is still here. I cannot deny it. Oh, it is still here’.

I am not saying it is not here, but here in the appearance.

All this is coming and going.

Here where?

Here inside Awareness.

As Awareness, is something happening to you? No, I cannot believe that story. All you can tell me is about some appearance coming and going.

The mind can only speak rubbish. It will be saying the best sounding things. The most well-dressed thoughts are nothing; are just garbage in good clothes.

What do you need a thought for? To need a thought, would mean that there is something missing. If there is nothing missing, then what guidance is required from this false interpreter?

The thoughts are always are telling you that something is missing. That is what is called a need. You believe the thought and it becomes a need. Even if the thought is saying ‘I Am That’ (which means that there is still ‘That’ which is away from ‘me’), even the separation, even this saying ‘I Am That’, it cannot say anything. It cannot say ‘I Am That, I Am This, I Am Here, I am Now’. All of this is coming from mind. It doesn’t mean anything, because it’s putting everything in this framework of time and space; because that’s all it knows. The mind doesn’t not know what is prior to time and space. So be clear about that. You are not ‘here’. You are not here; here spatially. You are not here spatially.

Many times it is said in satsang that: ‘You Are Here, just Here’. And the mind hears this ‘here’ as ‘here in this location, in this time and space’. It is not this. Where are you right now? Where are you looking from? This body is located in time and space; the mind, the thoughts, are appearing in this appearance, in front; they seem like they are in front.

But Where Are You Watching From?

Are You Inside This Body Somewhere, Inside This Space?
How Big Are You?
Are You Something Small Sitting Inside This Head?
What Is Your Size? Tell Me your Dimension?
Just see:
How Long Have You Been in Existence?
What Are You Before Your Body Came?
Who Are You In Deep Sleep?
Who Are You In Your Dreams, When Another Body Comes?
Where Are You Looking From?
What Are You Looking As?

Who is aware even that some seeing is happening through your senses, through your eyes? There is Awareness that seeing is happening; eyes are open.
Then there is awareness that there no seeing is happening through senses.

But did this Awareness change when there was seeing or not seeing? Did the Witness get affected? Then how can that which seems to appear in front of these eyes have any effect on us?

If the witnessing was unchanged, whether eyes are open or closed then how can that which is appearing only when these senses are functioning affect you; what you are? Can it?

Then why do we give so much importance to that which is appearing through these senses, if it cannot touch you, if it cannot come close to you, if it is not in the same realm, it is not even the same Universe? This is the projected Universe; this is the projected universe. You are not in this universe, you are just the Witness of this.

That’s why I say that even if this entire universe burst in to pieces then ‘I will be untouched’. When this is said, something for some of you starts getting pushed, some buttons getting pushed: ‘Oh, but my loved ones are here, my attachments are here, my Master is here’…, these kind of things. It is not True. If it was True then this appearance would be actually affected by some appearances. This is what is called special relationships, where these special relationships could have some effect really on what you are. But that is impossible.

Q: We are recognizing ‘Who am I?’, so what does the ‘I’ mean? Is the ‘I’ a pointer pointing to some place, or awareness or a person?

Yes, you put it quite well. So, the ‘I’ is like this chameleon. Depending on what you believe, the ‘I’ can be the body, the ‘I’ can be the person, the ‘I’ can be the sense of Being, and the ‘I’ ultimately can be the Absolute, Pure Awareness.

So, God says ‘I Am that I Am’ which is ‘I’ identifying as this Pure Presence ‘I Am’. And you can say ‘I am aware of that which is even aware of I Am’.

What is aware even of ‘I Am’? That must be Awareness itself. So when you say that, you say that this ‘I’ is pure Awareness itself.

Actually, from there you don’t feel like making too many proclamations also; don’t feel like there’s a need to say ‘Oh, I am this’.  This doesn’t feel like it is anything special. That’s why it is very beautiful; because there are no attributes.  To this Awareness, there are no attributes.

Even to say ‘Pure’, even to say ‘innocent’, all these you feel like they’re good words to use, but do not really apply to Awareness. And energies like Love, Peace, Joy, Bliss; all these are in service to your Being. But your Being is not in service to them.

So we must not confuse freedom with a particular state because this can be a very strong mind trick; that ‘I read in a book that freedom means I will be completely blissed out, blissed out all the time’.

If you were blissed out all the time, you would not even know that it is bliss. Because you need the contrast to be able to taste the difference. Freedom means any state can come, any state can go, but I see that I am the untouched witness.

Yes, ‘I’ is like this pointer. Depending on your belief, you can point the pointer where you like.

Q: So, who’s believing or not believing?

It is the power of Consciousness itself. There is only Consciousness. And Consciousness has the power of these forces; attention, belief, identity. And it is Consciousness itself which is pretending to play ‘person-person’.  It is pretending to play this game of  ‘person-person’. And Consciousness itself which is creating environments where it is pretending to free itself from this delusion. That’s the way this game has been programmed.

All doing and all experiencing is Consciousness itself. That’s why we were saying yesterday that  ‘Satsang is the rehab for God, which God itself has created’. God himself or itself is pretending to be deluded, and God himself is addicted to thoughts and God himself is saying ‘I’m suffering too much because of this addiction, I must come to Satsang, which is the rehab so it will get me over this addiction to thoughts’. And then when these thoughts are going, then there are also these withdrawal symptoms which God himself is experiencing.

Then God is saying ‘Oh, I cant do without this thought. I can’t do without this relationship. I can’t do without this money’. All these concepts. All is getting wiped out, wiped out, and big withdrawal can happen, you see? So, I don’t mind if sometimes, somebody will come and shout at me in Satsang: ‘What is this?’ It’s very good actually, because all this cleaning up is happening, you see. It doesn’t have to happen gently. It can happen; sometimes strong, sometimes slowly, it happens like this.

This is very good. All that is happening in Satsang is always welcome.

Many times, with some integrity, someone will say that ‘Yes, it’s clear what you’re saying, but I’m just too hooked to my thoughts, too hooked on them’. Then I say, ‘Just Stay in Satsang, this addiction will go’. Actually, it’s just this addiction to thoughts.

So, don’t believe that there is something to do, don’t believe that there is somewhere to go, and don’t believe that it will happen over time. It is already here. And then you will see that, the doing, the going, all is happening on its own. It is all a play of your own Being. Your own Holy Presence is playing in this way.

This is the end of doership, this is the end of seeking also. The seeking has played its part, it has got you to Satsang; seeking has done its part. And for the mind, it must be a bit of an anti-climax. [It says] ‘You say ‘But you’ve already been that’. Okay, so what have I been doing the last twenty years? Always been that’.

That’s why there is some resistance to accept this. Resistance comes to accept this because we feel like ‘I have struggled and struggled and sought the Truth for twenty years, and you say that I’ve always been that’. We don’t want to give up on that investment of twenty years. We don’t want to hear that it’s been futile.

So, actually it’s not been futile, because it has got you to the point where there is now some openness to these words. How many can be open to these words?

But don’t be a ‘forever-seeker’. As my Master says, ‘Don’t be a forever-seeker’. It has become sometimes so strongly a part of our identity that the strong fear comes that ‘If I drop the seeking then what do I do? Who am I then?’

That’s why I say that even this story, even this story of being a seeker, of being spiritual, we cannot carry.

Actually, most, I feel, leave Satsang because this seeker identity is also confronted.  The seeker identity is also confronted, and when it is confronted like this, that ‘It is of no value to you, you can drop it now. It is as good as any other identity’, then something doesn’t like that. ‘I dropped all my stories and I became a seeker. Now you are saying even this is not worth anything’.  That becomes something too strong for many, you see.

But this story also must be dropped. It must be dropped. What could I be seeking?  Seeking would mean that it is not here already.

It would be a really magical, magical, magical practice, if there was a practice that could make a Self out of a non-self. If there was a non-self and there was something you could do to make a Self out of it, then that would be something; something valuable.

But all practices, at best, are just so that you can come to this point where you can see that ‘This thought is coming like this’. And then there is a force of attention which works on it and there is a force of belief. And we are able to see that attention doesn’t seem to be so much in control; because if I try to turn from it, it comes back; try to run from it, again it comes back.

But belief is so easy. The mind itself will come and say that ‘No, no, belief is not easy. It happens automatically, like just another thought’.

You have the complete power to believe it or not. In fact, you don’t believe many thoughts that cross the mind. And because there is so little or no belief in that, it doesn’t even get too much of your attention.

Q: Father, doesn’t the story of specialness feed the mind and keep us deluded?

Yes, yes, yes; especially the specialness of this concept of being a free enlightened ‘person’. The worst sort of spiritual ego, you see, is that ‘I am an enlightened person’.

Yes, all sense of specialness keeps us deluded, but this one is the most, you know, the strongest addiction. The strongest addiction is the concept that ‘I am now a free person’. And they are not even open to listening to the fact that if you feel you are a free ‘person’ and others are not; [because] specialness means ‘I feel I am a free person, and others are not’…, so, they are not even open to listening that actually freedom must mean the dropping of this ‘person’ concept.

How can there be a free ‘person’? How can you be something which I am not? How can I be something which you are not?

Yes, if we drop the concept of specialness, are we not just open to just being?

Yes, yes, yes. Drop this arrogance of separation, then what is here?

Just the Presence of Being.

And what am I?

The Awareness of even this Presence.

~ ~ ~

Another Q: You literally exposed every trick of the mind.

Thank you. It’s my joy, my dear. Thank you so much.

~ ~ ~

Another Q: Here Satsang has been like being jet-washed out by God. Boundless gratitude to remain in the jet wash with you.

I’m so happy. I’m so happy that you’re here in this jet wash with me.

Very nice.