Truth Beyond Concepts

Book Description

Based on a series of talks from Satsang with Ananta, from first of October through end of December 2017. “If it is picked up, it is picked up. Now it’s gone. No concept has ever survived this moment. Isn’t this good news? No concept has ever, ever survived this moment. You are empty of it Now.”

Satsang with Ananta

High above the noise and pollution of Bangalore traffic on Old Airport Road, Beings from all corners of the world gather on the top floor of a multi story building. Flowers are placed where Anantaji’s feet will be and on the altar with photos of His Master, Sri Moojiji. Incense is lit, water is poured, and the Sangha sit quietly waiting for Anantaji, or Father as most of the Sangha lovingly call Him, to enter the room. When Anantaji joins the room, the Sangha stand in reverence and respect until their Father is seated. Ananta opens His mac laptop, connects to google hangout where there are many more Sangha all around the world waiting to join in live. And Satsang begins with “Namaste everyone, a very warm welcome to satsang today, Satguru Moojiji ki Jai.”

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About Ananta

Ananta gives Satsang with the blessings of his Master, Sri Mooji. He lives in Bangalore, India with his wife, son and daughter. He offers Satsang in Bangalore and online. See website and/or Facebook for the many YouTube videos of online Satsangs, the other Ananta books, Satsang transcripts, audio recordings and general information. The Satsang schedule is usually pinned to the top of the Facebook pages.

Satsang with Ananta YouTube channel is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmc83jyrwpCNBT2xywXVoLg/feed

Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/satsangwithananta

Sangha Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghabeing/

Website: www.anantasatsang.org

This is the 11th book (not including the paperback/kindle book available on Amazon) of Ananta Satsang transcripts. These simple pointings, contemplations, guided inquiries and interactions with sangha are full of Ananta’s direct insights, love and laughter. Taken from online Satsangs (2nd October to 26th December 2017) typed by the seva transcripts team and made possible by Nitya (who created ‘highlight videos’ of these most poignant talks) this book has been compiled and edited by Amaya, keeping Ananta’s words as they were delivered (with minimal edits) so that his voice is heard as we read.

In deepest love and gratitude to Anantaji (nicknamed ‘Father’ by some, which somehow just happened on its own) these books are an offering to all who seek Truth, Self- Realization and freedom from suffering in the Presence of a True Master.

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Consciousness Is the Fruit of Satsang

What is always here? God is here. And I’m not speaking physically. Right Now, Your own Presence is here. This is this Being.

Earlier, when somebody would ask me ‘Can you show me God?’ I would say ‘Yes. But you have to follow this question: ‘Can you stop being?’

Your Existence, Your Presence, uncolored by any attribute, is naturally Here.

To still the seeker, that’s the only thing you ever need to hear. This Consciousness remains, untouched; no matter what might be happening in the worldly appearance.

Now, what does it mean to ‘go there’? To ‘go there’ implies ‘to take a position’. To give this unadulterated Presence an attribute or a quality and say ‘I am something’. This ‘I Am’ plays as if it is an ‘I am something’. And this ‘something’ is perennially dissatisfying because You know that You not that ‘something’. You are unlimited. And that ‘something’ is always a limitation.

So, any time you pick up that something…, (the strangest things come to me in Satsang). [Smiling] Do you remember that story we used to read growing up? There was a story about this princess (I don’t remember exactly how the story goes) and the Father wanted to check whether she is really his daughter. So, she had these 8 layers of mattresses; but under that, he put a pea or somebody put a pea. So, this pea was there. And this princess was used to so much comfort that she couldn’t sleep because under the layer of 8 mattresses, there was a pea.

So, this ‘something’ was that pea. You will not come to comfort, you will not come to satisfaction till you get rid of this ‘something’. That’s why I say the best news I can give you is you have to do nothing to get rid of it. Right Now, You Are This: I Am. Existence is uncolored.

But you also have the power to pick up this concept, this notion about yourself that ‘I am something’. So, if we allow all notions to just come and go. . .

I see some new people are here. Some of you have not heard this example from this restaurant ‘Yo Sushi’. Some of you have seen it. In this restaurant ‘Yo Sushi’ they have all these dishes that come, one after the other, on a conveyor belt. So, you’re sitting at your table and there’s a conveyor belt running next to you; and all these dishes are color-coded. So, these offerings are coming.

The mind is offering these notions. Being is Here…, but the mind will be saying ‘Pick this up and taste it’ from the view of individuality. When we are done stuffing ourselves with notions, then we get tired of it. It will be like ‘I had the red one, it’s really sweet. That one is good. What if I have the blue one? That one is good. This one…’ Education, relationship, money, security;

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all of these dishes are coming as offerings from the mind and you follow them. They come as the offer that ‘You are something’.

There is nothing that will feed Consciousness, because Consciousness is already All There Is.

So, what to do as these dishes are coming and going? Just don’t pick them up.

If you pick them up, what to do? Nothing. Just don’t pick up the next one. If you pick that up, what to do? Don’t pick up the next one. Because what can happen many times is that when we do pick up a notion about ourselves, then quickly we also pick up the next notion that ‘I am so unworthy, I am so stupid, I am so guilty’.

So, this is pointing you to the Truth of what You Are, Right Now.

Do you have to think about it? Do you have to understand it?

This. And this is contrary to all the conditions that we have had so far, isn’t it? That is why it can seem like a struggle because our habit is like this. But, nothing to do, nowhere to go. Just naturally, Your Presence is Here. The Being is Here.

This Consciousness is the fruit of Satsang. This is the fruit that is on offer here. But can I give it to you straight? To come to unassociated Being…., do you have to ‘stay’ like this? What you

might feel in Satsang sometimes is that you need to ‘stay as you are’. But ‘staying’ only means ‘Don’t pick up that which is false’.

It’s too easy! [Smiling] Liberation is too easy if you are just a little bit open.

No position. No ‘I am this or that’. No ‘I am 50% free’ or ‘100% free’. Not even ‘I am enlightened’. Not even the concept ‘I am the Self’ is needed…, unless we first make ourself into something. Which is what? ‘I must be this body/mind with a particular name.’ Or ‘I must have some experiences as confirmation of my freedom. Only when I’m feeling bliss! Then I must be free.’ This can also play, as someone was saying the other day: ‘When I’m in Satsang hall, it’s so easy, there’s so much love; just Presence, Being.’ It’s not even about that. It’s not about any feeling, not about any thought, not about anywhere to get to. It’s That which is ever-present.

When you start to See this for yourself, then all these stories about the one who is begging while sitting on the treasure chest and believing he doesn’t have anything; this is the spiritual seeker.

Be aware of what you already have…, then tell me if you need something. The other day I was saying that ‘The food is on the table and you’re licking the scraps on the floor’.

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Where to go to find God? Where did you go to find YourSelf? What are You already? Is there something missing?

Now, all of us have had our favorite ‘but…’ So, either we can just drop this ‘but…’ or we can inquire into it. That’s why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘Either surrender or inquiry’. If you have devotion, then offer it up at the Master’s feet. Then don’t pick it up. Done! Or inquire. ‘Who is this ‘but’ about? But…, what about when I go home? But…, why doesn’t my family understand I am free?’ So, inquire into this. ‘Whose family? Who are you referring to yourself as? Are you just this body/mind? Are they not also an appearance the same way that this body is?’

We try to apply this which we are finding in Satsang personally. We cannot do that. And many times, it is this that remains like a thorn, embedded in us. It is not to be used in that way. It is not a self-help class. [Chuckles]

The discovery is that ‘I Am beyond All There Is’. And empty of notions, this is so apparent. You don’t have to struggle to find yourself. The only struggle seems to be these sticky notions, these sticky labels about ourself and the world. The plan of what to do. The list of what you want. So, if we don’t use fancy words like desire and doership, that’s what it means, isn’t it? The plan for what you want to do, the list of what you want; all of this is desire and doership.

What did you do to create this Presence here?

How much effort did it take for you to be present?

Effortless. It’s Here. So, where to go looking for that which is already Here? Which practice will get us there? Therefore, the only useful practice is that which helps me remain empty of all notions about myself. No matter what the practice is, That which You Are (no matter what country you might be hearing this from, whether it’s day or night, what your situation might be in life, at work, with family or whatever) this that I’m saying is true for all of us.

Your Existence is effortlessly present.

In this moment, Right Now, Now, Now,

You are empty of all notions about yourself.

Naturally, it happens.

So, Satsang is about demolishing our favorite notions about ourself, our favorite concepts. Even now, you might be holding onto one or two favorites. (‘This is fine; but this one, till I fix this…, till I have a particular experience’ …, till something.) You might be holding onto a particular grievance or some idea of individuality. All these are being shaken out of us. As we come Satsang like this, a direct Satsang, you will find that many come expecting peace also. But you might find that the volume seems even turned up for them because these notions can start to feel

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like they are so troublesome. They need to be vomited out. So, all the clean-up, all the emptying, naturally just happens here.

You see, what happens (this is not an elegant metaphor) if you’ve thrown all of it, and then you go and revisit the garbage truck, like you just want your favorite necklace back or something, then it might feel like ‘I will avoid the stink of the rest of it and only go and get my necklace’. You will find the entire thing seems to be waiting there for you. ‘Oh, you’ve come!’ [Chuckles] Our personal ideas about ourselves are there, ready to be picked up. And yet, again, this is what we do. We keep revisiting the garbage truck, thinking that something meaningful will come out of it…, so you ignore the God, the Presence which is just here, effortlessly.

The world is moving in the Light of that Presence. When we Exist, the world moves? Or not? We wake up in the morning; do we say that the world is on pause? The body is the body, the heart is already beating, breath is happening, the sun seems to be moving; everything is going on as soon as we are present. Everything is functioning on its own, effortlessly. The Presence is Here, effortlessly. And That which is aware even of this Presence is completely beyond even the idea of effort.

So, then, does this mean you got it? No. [Chuckles] Does this mean you haven’t got it? No. Because even those are positions. Even that is the ‘something’. (‘Now I am something. Now I am free.’) Freedom doesn’t need a concept to announce itself. This is just the oscillation of the mind, which goes from ‘I am so bound, bound, bound’ to (many times in Satsang) ‘I am so free, free, free.’ [Laughs] And it’s still coming very individualistically. ‘I’ is still there as a concept to console the body/mind.

I’m just highlighting some of our favorite concepts, so when they come, we can just allow them to come and go…, without serving them tea.

So, everything is just Here. Even perception is happening naturally. If you decided or didn’t decide to hear these words, these words would still be heard. You’re not deciding to hear the sounds from the words and still they are heard. You’re not doing anything to exist. So, that in which so much is happening (millions of body functions, thousands of perceptions happening every moment) the idea can be that ‘I need to invent the idea for me that is going to help this one run this life’. This is the one, isn’t it? It goes ‘Unless I decide, unless I do, unless I desire, this life is going to be terrible…, because that One that is beating my heart, that is making my blood function, that has done all of this play, cannot run this life!’ This is arrogance. Arrogance means ‘I am separate from God’. It is not arrogance to See that ‘I am God’ or that ‘I Am is God Itself’. But the idea that ‘I am something separate which has some power over something’ …, this is arrogance. This is the upside-down nature of the world; the upside-down nature of the mind. To say ‘I am God’ is arrogance but to say that ‘God is limited and his or her limits apply to where this boundary starts…, and beyond this, it’s up to me’ [Laughs heartily] to say that ‘God is running the world but as soon as this body starts, then it’s my problem’ …, what is that but

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arrogance? This is how the mind operates, that ‘This body/mind is a separate existence from everything else and I have some autonomy over it’.

We say ‘Why?! Why does this happen to me?! Why? Why am I taken like this? Why is my life like this? Why do I have to have it so hard? Why? Why? Why?’ And never asking ‘Who? Who? Who?’ [Laughs] ‘Who? Who are you who has this problem?’ This came to me a few weeks ago where I noticed the mind’s attraction to this word ‘Why?’ and its complete repulsion towards this word ‘Who?’ Can you imagine? Just one alphabet letter. While these favorite notions are also using Its power…, everything is moving on its own.

In the Light of My Presence, the world appearance seems to function so naturally. And I cannot suffer unless I pick up a notion about myself.

That is the design of this play.

That’s why Papaji [Sri Poonja] said ‘To be happy, we don’t need anything. But to suffer, you need a thought.’

That’s why most of us feel our childhood was so happy. There was a lot of crying; there was a lot of crying and hunger or heat or whatever children find in experience, but it was so happy. The child is not mixing up its Presence with the notion of being something, of wanting something, of getting somewhere.

If you know that you are already in the best place you can ever be, where would you want to go? Nowhere. So, the mind is only telling you that there is a better place on offer for you. It is only selling you the story of resistance to What Is. ‘What Is’ is not enough for the mind; that’s what the it says.

If God is not enough, then what is?

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A Little Bit of Openness is All That is Needed

Suppose there was no concern about relationships, all relationships. Suppose there was no concern about money or security. Suppose there was no concern about health in the body, state of the body. And suppose there was no concern about even freedom.

Truly there is no reason to be concerned actually about any of these. These are the four primary problems or concerns we seem to pick up. Sources of suffering are our ideas, our expectations about these. The funniest is the last one. [Chuckling] The suffering seeker. Who knew?… that to escape worldly suffering he came into this spirituality and who knew?… that it was fresh suffering? ‘I’m not getting it’…, ‘When is it going to happen for me?’ This kind of suffering; unworthiness, guilt, the idea that ‘I’m missing the point’ or something like this.

The point of saying could not have been this…, ‘Oh, let’s exchange worldly suffering for a new variety of suffering. Let’s change it from worldly arrogance or wordy specialness to spiritual arrogance or spiritual specialness.’ Definitely was not the purpose, if there was a purpose. This cannot be the purpose of satsang.

It’s just that for so long you’ve looked this way. [Pointing outwards, away from himself] You’ve hardly ever looked this way. [Pointing towards himself] We’ve looked at the objective realm, the world of objects, for too long and then when we are told ‘Look within. Look at what you are, at ‘Who am I?’ We go looking in that way also with the expectation of finding some object. ‘I found the Self’ …, as if you’ll find it as an object. What You are finding is Your own Self, which is prior to objects.

Now, this is a huge paradigm shift for the mind. Because the mind cannot actually even fathom this. It us too much of a leap. That’s maybe Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘You be the cow that jumped over the moon.’ Take this leap. What is the leap? Just from this very objective idea, the idea that ‘I am a thing, I am this body, I am what the mind is telling me I am’ to Seeing that ‘I am not an object. I’m not a thing at all. The Self is not a thing. I am no-thing.’

Earlier I used to say often: More than a noun, you are a verb. You are a verb…, but actually even that’s not true. Not even the verb you are. It’s a good shaker-upper. [Chuckles]

Now, all these concerns that we talked about, if you are not an object, which one would apply? The relationship of the space in this room; what can we say about the relationship the space has? You need to invent a theme; you need to invent something that you are before you can have a relationship.

Who has that money in the bank account which you say is yours? Where is that entity? Who is the owner of that? There is a name there; it seems to conform with the name that has been given to this body. But even if this body was able to answer, are you concerned about the money in the bank account? You can’t even touch it.

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Who is that one that owns this body? Who owns that money? Who owns that relationship? Who owns the spiritual journey? Who has embarked on this endeavor?

There is nobody. When you look, you will find that there is nobody. That which is looking unconcerned by any if this. If you spoke to the looking and said ‘You will find freedom after seven lifetimes, if you’re really good’ …, the looking would say ‘Freedom? What freedom? Where is the bondage?’

This, you see, this is the Divine delusion, maya; that That which is so beyond all of this has been able to invent this concept about itself…, and now feels it is stuck in this endless maze. ‘How do I get out of this maze? I’m stuck!’ This is the story of the spiritual seeker…, going from teaching to teaching, from Master to Master, confusion to confusion. You will find that what all the true Masters are saying is that ‘The Truth just IS; unchanging.’

How many can pick that up as a clue and say ‘What is it that is unchanging? What is it that is unchanging?’

Most of humanity cannot spend two minutes on this question. Notice the hypnosis of the mind is so strong, so caught up in the realm of change, in the realm of holding on to that which changes, that for two minutes we cannot contemplate this question: ‘What remains unchanging?’ Can we take a minute on it?

We don’t have to throw anything away also. Let it be there. Don’t fight with the changing realm. Let it be there. But beyond that, is there something?

Is there something about you which is beyond change?

Who can go through like this; step by step? The body? What about the body? [Chuckling] Let’s have some feedback. Changing or unchanging?

Q: Changing.

A:Changing, so what else is there? Body is changing. What else is there in our experience?

Q:Aliveness.

A:Aliveness; changing it unchanging? We’ll come to that in a minute. What is there before we come to aliveness?

Q:Thoughts. Sensations.

A:Thoughts, mind, memory, sensation, feeling, emotions; all clearly changing. So, what is there beyond that?

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Like he said: Aliveness. Aliveness. Can you stop being? Can you not be? Is this what you mean by aliveness, what we call Being?

Now, this is a beautiful point to get to. As long as we are looking in this waking state, this Being is the one constant. Guruji [Sri Mooji] says it is the deity of the waking state; the God of the waking state. But when everything goes (everything goes in that which we call sleep) even this Presence, this Being, this sense of Existence is not there. Isn’t it? And yet You Are. Empty of even aliveness, ultimately.

Now, we can only rely on our experience for this; we cannot conceptualize it at all. So, a beautiful way to check is:

What wakes up in the morning? What woke up today? I woke up. Which I was that? This sense that I exist, the sense that I am, the sense that I am alive.

That which you came to in your sleep state was beyond life and death; unborn, undying. The presence or absence of even the waking state or dream state does not touch That one. The concept of two does not exist there; the concept of one also does not exist there. There is ‘not two’ … Advaita.

This, because it is the simplest recognition, even a child recognizes it. And the simpler it gets, the more complicated it is for the mind. Because everybody knows. ‘Ah, I woke up just five minutes ago’. What came? The sense that ‘I exist’.

Now the Sage [Ashtavakra] was able to say, Papaji [Sri Pooja] was able to say, Guruji [Sri Mooji] was able to say: ‘Don’t touch this also. Don’t even touch this sense of existence. Now, what are you?’

The one that woke up. Let the waking state take care of that one. You cannot have any trouble then. The one that woke that one up…, let That one take care of this one. Simple surrender. Let the waking state take care of itself.

If you take any object, say, if I decide I’m going to take the coconut into my dreamless sleep. Can I do it? Or I say ‘I want to take this hand into my dreamless sleep; just this hand should be there.’ Can I do it? No. Can we take a thought there, into my dreamless sleep? ‘I want to just have that one thought, the holiest thought!’ Can I take it? You cannot. ‘I still haven’t fallen asleep, I’m still awake. Can I take some emotions with me?’ Nothing. All is left behind.

Papaji’s example is very beautiful, that you can be on your wedding night in the arms of your beloved but when sleep comes, even that beloved is left behind. No object can go with you. But you sleep. It is not a third-party experience. You cannot say to someone ‘You sleep for me today’. [Chuckling] And yet, this ‘You’ is beyond all attributes and qualities…, because all qualities were left behind.

Nothing is there…, and yet, You Are.

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This ‘You’ has gotten no attention, has gotten no focus from us; has been given no value. The waking state comes, it is this play of light and sound and excitement and all kinds of things, so the substratum has lost its focus in a way. So, this Satsang, this Self-recognition is just about this: looking further back and saying: ‘Who am I? Am I some object of the waking state? Or do I remain untouched, no matter which appearances may appear in the waking state? Who am I?’

One of our Sangha members has been there right from the beginning. From almost the very first Satsang four years ago, he has been there. He says, “Any time I ask Ananta something, I know what he will say. He will say: ‘Who are you?’ [Laughing] Anything, anything, like ‘What am I supposed to do?’ [Ananta will say] ‘Who? Who is the ‘you’ who has to do?’ …, like some Advaita policeman.” And sometimes I have to; it’s true.

Because the source of all confusion, at the root, is the confusion about identity. It might seem like whatever else it is; it might seem like a question if desire, a question of doership, but at the root of that confusion is the confusion about who we are; about who I am.

Now, if you come to Satsang, you will not escape this question. If you’re not in satsang…, I don’t go to work and ask everyone ‘Who are you?’ [Laughing] But Satsang means that ‘I am open to this question.’ At least this kind of Satsang means that ‘I’m open to this. I might not be very inclined to inquire but I am open to hearing the pointing as it is spoon-fed day after day.’ The end of all is this psychological suffering, of all of these problems…, in this recognition, this is to be found.

But what can happen sometimes is that the mind can come in very quickly after the moment of recognition and try to co-op the recognition personally. That is what is called the spiritual ego. Whatever form it might take, whatever color or flavor it might express itself in…, it is what? The idea that the ‘person’ has come to a spiritual insight.

So, this recognition has no claimant to it. The claimant is the ego in its worst form actually. The claimant to it is the most difficult one to engage with, because it is the most closed. If there is a quality about a spiritual seeker which is useful, it is openness. ‘I’m open. I don’t know.’ But the claimant of the recognition is the most closed. ‘I’ve seen it all now. I’m done with this. You have nothing more that you can give me.’ This kind of thing. ‘Yes, yes, I’m Awareness. Why can’t you understand that I’m Awareness’? [Laughing] This is the voice of the spiritual ego or the claimant.

Plus, you can smell the wanting to proclaim, the wanting to get some attention, to get some specialness as a result of this; almost like a child who has done very well in their exams for the first time, then they want to go all over the market place, saying ‘See my report card.’ [Chuckling] So, then the Master says ‘Keep quiet, sit down. This claimant will give you much more trouble.’ And you’ve seen over the years in the Sangha, also many have gotten stuck and have had so much trouble because of this.

You cannot pick up a new position. I was saying after Satsang got over yesterday that I’m really enjoying these recent satsangs, which are so much inviting you to drop all the positions that you can take.

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So, ego is what? Ego is position…, the ultimate position, the sub-ultimate position, the worldly position, the personal position, the position as God, the position as person. All this: Forget about it. Fuhgeddaboudit! [Said with that Mafia accent of American movies] [Chuckling] It’s not going to help.

Then you see that Satsang is not a classroom. Till then, you might feel like it’s a classroom. There’s one teacher who keeps talking, talking, talking and ‘What am I learning, learning, learning?’ Then you see that this is the absolute unlearning.

That’s why yesterday Shivani was saying, ‘I don’t know anything.’ So, I said ‘In the ‘I don’t know anything?’ how can you be troubled? How can that be a bother? Then there must be an idea that ‘I don’t know anything but I must know something.’ If that is not there, then what can bother us?

The true ‘I don’t know’ is just beautiful. So, ‘I don’t know’ is very good. Which classroom will tell you this? [Chuckles]

Now who does this ‘I don’t know belong to’? If the ‘I don’t know’ belongs to somebody with name and form, then it can be a painful ‘I don’t know’. If that ‘I don’t know’ is part of the natural functioning of this play, if there’s no claimant even of the ‘I don’t know’ then you’re not troubled even if the worst type of feelings are coming; even if the worst type of thoughts are coming. What you are remains untouched by the flow of any object. The object could be a feeling, it could be a thought, it could be some state of the body, it could be anything in the world.

So, ultimately, it all must boil down to who you are. All the clues are available, all the pointings are available. All that is needed is a little bit of openness.

If the clue says ‘Find that which is unchanging’ and you use your mind and say ‘Yeah, yeah, the Self is unchanging ‘ that doesn’t help. That is where knowledge gets in the way, actually. If you know too much, then when the pointer is being given then you have already preempted it with some learned concept or based on some past insight…, and that doesn’t help. If the clue is ‘Find out that which is the non-phenomenal witness of everything that is phenomena’ …. and then you

apply your knowledge about phenomena and witness, that doesn’t help.

You just have to look.

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Review of the Core Pointings

Q:You said in your book that if you don’t believe your next thought, everything else will be taken care of; that everything will reveal itself to you. It cannot hide, you say. Is it really enough?

A:Yes. Let’s start now. In this moment, before going to your next thought, you are not confused about who you are. How is that? It is not your natural state to not know who you are. It is like you’re auditioning for a play but you got so involved in it that it is now the play character which is now trying to find its own Source. You see? What has happened is that the audition became so sticky that it left this mind to remind you of your dream character.

So, if you just keep that aside for some time (not in the sense of aversion or pushing it aside; it is not about not believing your next thought in fear, like ‘No, no, I must run from my thoughts or something) …, just in a simple, natural openness, just allow them to come and go. Don’t pick up a notion about yourself. Because all notions are limitations.

You are Here, effortlessly. And You are aware of this Existence, effortlessly. A thought is a step; an offer to take a step somewhere; an offer to take a position, to make a reference point about yourself. Before you take this offer, where are You? You are Here. As what?

Thoughts do not have answers to these, even if it claims it does. Those answers are not true. But your insight is true.

That is why it is very simple. I used to say very often, every day, that there are three main pointings:

To be rid of suffering (because suffering is the play of the limited self, and the limit can only happen when you pick up a limited notion about yourself) …, so, to be rid of suffering, all that one has to do (if it is a doing at all; actually, it is a non-doing) …, all that one has to do is: Don’t believe your next thought.

And many have said that ‘Yes, I cannot suffer unless I believe what this mind is telling me. It always has to do with this limited notion about myself.’

Then, you might ask me ‘Okay, this is fine. I’m not suffering anymore, but what about God? Can you show me God?’

Then, I would say yes, I can show you God. Try for one moment to stop being. Don’t exist…, for one instant. [Simply ask yourself: Can I stop being?] You will see that this Existence is Here. And this Existence doesn’t have any boundary. It doesn’t have a definition. It doesn’t have shape or size. I Exist. I Am. This Existence is Consciousness; what most people call God.

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[Silence]

Then, you might ask me ‘But what about That which is the Absolute? There’s this old Sufi story about ‘Higher than God, I Am’. What is this?’

And mostly, there will come a disbelief when I tell you that to come to this highest, all you have to do is in inquire into this simple question: Am I aware now?

This ‘I’ that is aware, which one is this one?

Now, the questions are very simple, but if we allow the same old techniques to hijack them, which is trying to answer them conceptually or use some prior knowledge (even what you learned in previous Satsangs) if you try to apply that, it won’t work. It must be completely fresh; like an infant child. You cannot use these questions from a position. I know actually that many have also tried ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ from a personal position and reported back to me ‘It doesn’t work’. [Chuckles] Because you’re trying to solve something personally and you’re trying to use this Master Key to open that lock. It’s not a personal strategy; it will not help. It’s not a cheat code to having a prosperous life or something. It is more pristine than that.

So, completely empty of all positions, all notions, ask yourself: Am I aware now?

How is it that you say ‘Yes?’ It’s pristine. It’s pristine how you say ‘Yes’. Just that your mind won’t agree with how pristine it is. Why is it pristine? Because if I ask you ‘Is there a computer in front of you?’ you have to perceive it as an object, then you say ‘Yes’. All objects are perceived in this way. But this Awareness we don’t perceive as an object. And yet, you say ‘Yes’. You don’t have to use the concept ‘I am Awareness’ to say ‘Yes’. You have not had a taste of Awareness as if it is phenomena…, and still you say ‘Yes’.

What is the basis of that ‘Yes’? It is not conceptual, it is not perceptual, it is not emotional; it is something much deeper than that.

And don’t give this insight over to the mind. Because the mind will come like a jealous friend. You’re trying to tell them about your wonderful vacation and they say ‘Yeah, yeah, I did that five years ago. And also, by the way, I also did this. Did you do that?’ It will try to find reasons for why you are ‘not there yet’. So, don’t go to the mind for the freedom certificate. Just See that You are aware of your very Existence.

Which one is this one?

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Eleven Clues to Awakening

1.That which is the Witness of All Things. You are the One solitary witness of all things.

2.That which remains Unchanging, cannot be enhanced or diminished.

3.That which is beyond limitations or boundaries, the shoreless ocean.

4.That which is beyond the states of waking, dream, sleep or turiya (the fourth state).

5.That which can only be found in the present (now), does not come and go, is not subject to time.

6.That which has no desires or aversions, beyond attachment.

7.That which is beyond doer-ship, beyond action and inaction. That which is beyond separation and union.

8.That which cannot be described in concepts, judgments or inferences.

9.That which is your direct intuitive insight, beyond any phenomenal perception.

10.That which is the source of the Being, which in its un-associated form is Pure Consciousness and in its associated form appears to be the ego.

11.That which is discovered by following the guidance of the Satguru, Divine Presence or/and by surrendering to this Presence.

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Not Even Space You Are

(Guided Meditation)

Some of you must have seen that I posted the clues. Now each of these clues actually is enough; any of them. But don’t be so quick to try and answer it; don’t be so quick to try and say ‘Found it’ or ‘Haven’t found it’. For example, if I tell you that ‘You are the one solitary witness of all there is…, I am That, I recognize That, I recognize That which witnesses all things’ …, leave this like a grenade to explode on its own rather than keep checking on whether it is exploding or not. (‘Did I find it or not?’) Leave the pointing some space to automatically do what it is meant to do. The mental effort will not get you there anyway.

[Silence]

What witnesses all things?

Can that itself be witnessed?

Don’t harass this question, don’t molest this question with any answer.

[Silence]

Allow yourself the space to remain without answers.

Because that which your mind thinks is an answer is just a distraction.

So, let these mental answers come and go; let all sensations also come and go. And as everything is coming and going, see if you can recognize That which is not coming and going.

[Silence]

Any recognition that might have happened in the past or is going to happen in the future, leave it aside. Any idea that you have about past or future, no matter how important it might seem, just for some time; don’t bother with it.

[Silence]

All conclusions, all judgements, all inferences of any sort, let them go; and don’t even pick up the idea of letting go.

[Silence]

Remain without any notion, including the notion of being notion-less. Nothing at all.

[Silence]

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With which light do you perceive the world? With which light do you perceive your thoughts, the sensations of the body? Who must be here for all this to be perceived?

[Silence]

What perceives light or dark, noise or silence, thoughts or no thoughts; what witnesses them?

[Silence]

Everything that can go, is going. What remains?

And everything that can come, will come. What witnesses this?

Do you also come and go?

If the experience is meditative, that can come, but it will also go. The point of this is not to have a meditative experience. It can be a nice by-product to have but whether you have a deep experience or it is a very distracted experience: What witnesses these?

[Silence]

You won’t find the answer. Don’t try to find it. Let the question remain on its own. Whether the mind is struggling or it is quiet: What witnesses that?

[Silence]

What are you now…, without the concept of what you are?

Before the concept of what you are, what are you?

[Silence]

Notice that you don’t need any concepts now. Breath is functioning naturally; the body sensations continue to exist on their own. If somebody rings your doorbell, you will find that the movement towards the door will also happen (or not). All that is naturally required in this apparent play of Consciousness will continue to move on its own.

The idea that you are an individual, a person, has only been a painful appendix. The removal of this will not stop anything at all.

You are the Truth. You are That which you have been looking for.

This is all that You will ever be.

There is no maturing here, there is no growth.

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You are complete.

You cannot place yourself in a location.

All locations are within You.

You have no age.

All time has been within You.

You have no boundaries.

All boundaries have been within You.

These set of sensations that we call the body can be allowed to move as it wants. It is moving within You.

The set of sensations that you call the world can be allowed to move as it wants. It is moving within You.

There is nothing to control, nothing to change, nowhere to go, nothing to find. This recognition is apparent.

This is all that You will ever be because this is All There Is.

The phenomenal and non-phenomenal is You.

The One that is doing everything (and is not the doer of anything at all) is You.

[Silence]

All ideas are pointless here.

As you dip into this Ganga of your own recognition, don’t come out as the one who started the dip. Remain as the Ganga itself.

Don’t exchange This for any idea about yourself.

Blow away all concepts that you have about yourself, including being Awareness or the Self. The Truth does not need these concepts.

That which is aware doesn’t carry a label.

That which You Are has no name.

That which is the primal intelligence doesn’t need your mind for any functioning.

[Silence]

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(Now that I have put all of you to sleep, I can go to sleep myself.) [Smiling]

[Silence]

Do you see how simple it is? Simpler than simple. Before you can even decide whether it is simple it difficult, before you can even take a step or have a thought, any action, any experience, You Are.

To put it very, very simply: You do not need a notion to exist.

Your Existence is all there is, so what do you need a notion for? Only to delude yourself. You cannot delude yourself without a notion. Better to say you cannot play the game of delusion, the pretense of identity, without a notion.

That’s why I can tell any of you, no matter what your circumstances or what might be happening in your life, I can tell you this: Right Now, without a notion, You are free.

It doesn’t matter if this is your first satsang or thousandth satsang. It doesn’t matter how many awakening experiences you had; nothing. In this moment, unless you pick up the mask of your identity, You Are All There Is.

You.

Okay, let’s wake everybody up a bit. [Chuckles]

So, when I say ‘You’ …,

what is the shape you draw about yourself?

I say ‘You’.

What is the boundary you make about yourself?

Where do you start and where do you end?

And whatever that boundary might be, notice that it is only a concept, only a visual, only a thought. Let that notion go. Don’t let any sensation or the interpretation of any sensation convince You that that is Your boundary.

Now say to yourself ‘I’. ‘I’.

See whether any notion about this ‘I’ is still there.

If any notion is still there, just let it go.

It is not the Truth about You.

If any visual is there, don’t bother with it.

You cannot imagine your Self.

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You cannot think about your Self. All these ideas are just ideas.

‘I’ has nowhere that it lands, has no reference point, has no start or end. ‘I’ is empty if all resentments, all grievances.

Nothing has ever happened to ‘I’.

No desire belongs to ‘I’.

No bondage applies to ‘I’.

Remove the runway for the plane called ‘I’ to land.

It applies to nothing at all; to that ‘no-thing’ that You Are.

Now say ‘I’ and see who you are presenting.

Who you are referring to as ‘I’?

Just a bundle of sensations? That is not I.

Empty, empty, empty of all notions;

especially about liberation, freedom, finding the Truth.

All location, You are empty of that.

More spacious than space.

Not even empty space You are.

If I say ‘You’ where is this ‘You’ landing?

If it is landing somewhere to something, then that is not You.

You are That!

Tat Twam Asi.

You are That which is beyond all things.

And when you say ‘I’ where is the ‘I’ taking off from?

What is that place where the ‘I’ comes from?

It is no-thing which is the Absolute Self.

Aham Bhramasmi

What is the ‘I’ that you are presenting yourself as?

Are you now going to present yourself as someone who got it or didn’t get it? You are not that.

As someone who is trying?

You are not that.

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As someone who has a set of sensations called the body?

You’re not that.

All of this is in You.

But You are greater than that, higher than that, prior to that.

Now, as Satsang gets over, it doesn’t mean it’s time to pick up the mask, to pick up the pretense.

Play like this, empty of notions.

All is taken care of, in Your own light, by Your very Presence.

There is no problem.

By my Master’s Grace, it my blessing to all of you that you remain mask-less, empty of pretense, empty of any concept about Your Self.

May that which was Seen here, at his feet, be recognized for all of You, wherever in time and space you might be.

May His grace bring you this Truth, bring you this Recognition.

May all that is false be dropped away.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.

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Is Witnessing Also a Phenomenon?

Q: Guruji, I have a doubt. Is witnessing also a phenomenon?

A:Is witnessing also a phenomenon? So, that is why I clarify often that usually when we talk about witnessing, we are talking about perception. And perception is the process of Consciousness using attention to bring phenomenal content to Itself. So, if this is what we mean by ‘witnessing’ then this part of the play is also phenomenal because it relies on your Existence and the availability of attention.

But what is it that is aware of this?

What is aware of Presence, this Being?

What is aware of attention itself?

This Witness (capital ‘W’ Witness) is not phenomenal. This Witness is that which witnesses the coming and going of all the states; the coming and going ultimately of ‘I Am’ Itself, of Consciousness Itself. This is the Eternal Witness, the Sakshi.

So, usually in Satsang when we say ‘Witness’ we are talking about this primal Witness, primordial Witness. But That which witnesses perception, can That be perceived? [Silence]

And yet, in spite of It being non-phenomenal, it is not just a concept. This is the only discovery which is like this. It’s your direct insight about YourSelf. And yet it is non-phenomenal and you are not making it up. You Are It.

That’s why it’s a beautiful, holy inquiry: What witnesses perception?

Maybe we can take a minute to take you through this. If, one by one, all the senses were leaving us: sight has left us, hearing has left us, taste has left us, touch has left us, smell has left us; all the senses have left. Suppose all of these seemingly-inner objects; thoughts, memories, imagination…, all of this also is gone; emotion, sensation, pain, pleasure…, also gone: You continue to exist.

Now, this existence, who witnesses this?

What is aware of this?

And you will notice that This One is independent of all perception, all senses, and even inner perception. This is what we call the intuitive insight…, because it is beyond just the regular perception.

From this place, a Sage like Ashtavakra says ‘You are the one solitary witness of all there is.’ And just before that, he said ‘You are not earth, water, fire or air; you are not even the space in

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which they happen.’ All phenomena you are not. And yet ‘You are the one solitary witness of all there is.’ Therefore, You must be something which is beyond phenomena. And if You are beyond phenomena, then You witness that all phenomena is a coming and going; is an appearance and disappearance. That is why it is called ‘appearance’ because it appears and it disappears. Reality does not appear and disappear; but the Reality is not phenomenal.

So, I’m happy that you asked this question because many have been confusing this ‘Witness’ of the Ashtavakra [Gita] with the perception, which is the functioning of Consciousness using the power of attention to bring objects to life (in a way).

Q:So, is the Witness self-aware; aware of Itself; witnessing all of the phenomena and Its own existence, too?

A:Yes, because if it wasn’t, then we would never be able to say ‘I am aware’. Then Awareness would be an unknown notion. So, not only is Self self-aware, even in Its dynamic play as Consciousness, it comes to the recognition of this Awareness. So, if Its dynamic play is coming to this recognition, if in the inquiry, if in the ‘neti, net’ / ‘not this, not this’ process, you come into the recognition of this, then You that is coming to the recognition of this is also just an aspect of Awareness. Then, how can it be that an aspect can come to this recognition, if the Whole never had it?

Some of these things, I know, might seem a bit confusing but it’s simpler than what we might think it is.

In fact, It is the ‘All Knowing’. It is the Knowingness Itself. Then how would It not Know this basic, fundamental truth about Itself? But It doesn’t know it in a conceptual way. It doesn’t need to know it in a perceptual way. All of this is part of the phenomenal aspect; Consciousness which has played with this knowledge conceptually, experientially, as objects of perception. Now it is going beyond all that.

That’s why this is so unique. Here, there is no experience on offer; that is why it is so unique. And yet, it is a non-phenomenal experience.

To the mind, there is no such thing as a non-phenomenal experience because experience itself means phenomena. But to You …, You are recognizing this. As you’re emptying yourself of all conditionings, all that is false about YourSelf, you will See that all of these insights are self- evident. So, you don’t have to force them.

[Silence]

I’m very happy with this. Just continue to not fill the blank with ‘I am ____’ …, not to fill in the blank with anything. You will find that all of these insights become clearer and clearer.

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Inquiry Must Be Done in a Natural Way

Inquiry must be done in a very natural, playful way. I feel like too many are doing inquiry like [Makes a face of much exertion and stern trying]. Let it be just easier. So natural: ‘Who am I? Am I the body?’ Not [Stern, contorted face] ‘Am I the body’. [Chuckles]

Sincerely, who am I?

Am I something that is changing?

And if I am the changing, then what would witness this change?

Is that itself changing?

[Silence]

Just like this; simple. One or two questions like this. Allow the questions to do the work themselves. The main part of the inquiry is not to get in the way. Just allow it to unfold. The question ‘Who am I?’ is so potent that it doesn’t need any other support. And what can seemingly-obstruct it is our conclusion. So, if you’re reaching a conclusion, then drop it! You will reach a non-conclusion; the no-thing…, as your intuitive insight. And you will struggle to verbalize it. The intuition itself puts the words in your mouth. And then they are coming from a space of True Seeing.

I know that this inconclusiveness can seem a bit frustrating for some. Because in this world, we’ve been taught that we must know things. If you don’t know, then you’re dumb or something. But it’s not true. You will not know who you are conceptually. You will not know who you are as a phenomenon. You will see that You have always Known who You Are.

I don’t say these words with the intent of making them confusing; in fact, if there is intent here it is only to make it sound very simple. But as I hear them, I know that many times they can sound like a bit of a riddle. That is the play of trying to share this non-phenomenal Truth in a phenomenal way.

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What Is Meant by ‘Dropping the Something’?

How many of you are confused about, or not completely clear about what I mean when I say: It’s about the dropping of ‘something’…, the ‘I am something’. It’s all about the dropping the ‘something’ or not picking up the ‘something’. And, it becomes apparent when this ‘I Am’ remains empty of ‘the something’…, the Truth is so apparent. Is this clear to you? Because this is very, very direct and straightforward.

So, this ‘I’ that is the primal witness that we spoke about, that is the unchanging, isn’t it?

Now, what happens? What is suffering? Can you have suffering in your dreamless sleep? You can’t have suffering in dreamless sleep. So, first, what needs to be there for you to suffer?

[Someone says]: ‘A thought.’

It is before thought. Can a thought come unless you are there? I should be there, but I as now this Consciousness. You must exist. You cannot have a thought in sleep state. You cannot have any phenomenal taste in deep sleep state. In fact, it is the appearance of the sense that ‘I exist’ which is the basis for all of this. So, let’s call this ‘I Am’. And don’t worry about if this has been your direct insight or not. For two minutes, just take my word for it. In the moment of your waking up, there is just ‘I Am’. You see? Before even time and space, there is just ‘I Am’. Then all this play of time and space, all of this starts.

Now, if this ‘I Am’ (Existence, Presence, Consciousness) was just left as ‘I Am’ …, could you suffer? Therefore, you must attach something; I am an employee, I am a mother, I am a father. Something must be put in that box for you to suffer.

Now, how does this ‘something’ get put into the box? Right now, you are empty of ‘something’. Now, if you have to put it in the box, if you had to fill in the blank, what would you have to do? Right now, you are in a safe environment. Try to pick up something. Can you do it without the thought arising? No.

So first, the thought has to arise. Just with the arising of the thought, is there something there? No, because many thoughts come and go. All the time, thought, thought, thought can come. But ‘I Am’ plays as ‘something’ when it gives its ‘yes’ to the thought, it gives its assent, its belief, to the thought. ‘Yes this is true about me. I am a good spiritual seeker.’ Suppose the thought came like that. If it was just coming and going, no truth value given, no assent given; nothing, it doesn’t get attached.

But the minute you latch on to it (as Guruji [Sri Mooji] says, you ‘log in’ to it) then it becomes ‘I am a good spiritual seeker or a bad spiritual seeker’ …, something.

Now, if you attach to the concept ‘I am a good spiritual seeker’ then somebody tells you ‘Rama, it’s not happening for you. What’s happening?! You are not a good spiritual person.’ [Acting shocked, alarmed] But for somebody who’s not in Satsang and they are only interested in

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building a building or something like that, if you say ‘You are not a good spiritual seeker’ they would say ‘I don’t care’. You see?

So, it is these concepts that we have about ourselves that become the root of our suffering. To be free from suffering, we come to this unassociated ‘I Am’.

What is the way to come to this unassociated ‘I Am’? There are two ways which I usually prescribe on this path, which are: Self-inquiry or surrender.

Surrender means what? Whatever that ‘something’ is which might be offered from the mind, just let it go. Let go. Don’t believe your next thought. Let-go means: It’s my Father’s problem. It’s Guruji’s problem; Satguru’s problem.

So, ‘I Am’. If you don’t fill in the blank [‘I Am _____’] you cannot suffer. In this Emptiness of something, who are you? It is really apparent, but you don’t have a concept

Now, some say that ‘It doesn’t come naturally for me to surrender. I cannot just let things go. I have to make these things a thing’. These days I’ve been saying; my favorite teaching now, today is: Don’t make any thing a ‘thing’. Like that, the same thing: Don’t put something into that box.

Some say ‘It’s not natural for me to surrender. I’m more of the inquisitive type. I have to ask why; what’s going on.’ So. for them, it is prescribed that: For you, it would be better do the inquiry, because letting go doesn’t seem to be easy.

Then you inquire. You say ‘This thought comes that I am not a good spiritual seeker.’ Then you ask yourself: ‘Who is the I that is not a seeker? Is the body the seeker? Is the thought the seeker? Is emotion the seeker? Who is the seeker?’

Then you will see that it is not a true notion; it is not a true concept; it is not true. Therefore, then again, this ‘something’ does not get attached to ‘I Am’ and we remain empty of that. As long as it remains empty of that, then nothing…, no matter what is happening, we cannot suffer in this play. For us to suffer, there must be a notion of limitation that we have put up about ourselves. That’s why most of spirituality, if not all, is about how to be empty of this ‘something’. That’s why when I say ‘Remain open, don’t take a position, don’t give yourself a reference point, don’t go with your mind’s offer, don’t believe your next thought, let go, forget about it’ …, all of this means the same thing: Don’t give yourself that ‘something’ position.

Simple?

When this is understood, then all that we will find is that some (two or three main) ‘somethings’ still seem to be sticky. They just come, and the habit is to grab on. So, when we come to Satsang, you’ll find naturally that it’s getting lighter and lighter. And if they’re really sticky then we can really put them into the inquiry and say: Until that particular something becomes laughable, we can inquire into it.

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If you are not of the inquiry temperament, then you can just surrender it to the Lord, to Guruji. But either way, it is not something that you pick up as a notion about yourself.

Then, if both of these seem too alien, surrender and Self-inquiry, then other paths are there; practice something, chant a mantra, practice mindfulness, do meditation, do vipassana, do various other things to keep yourself empty of this ‘something’ notion. But ultimately, at the end, all spirituality will come to this Truth: I Am, this Atma, this Consciousness, empty of this notion of a limited Atma jeeva, an egoistic, individualistic idea or notion of yourself that ‘I am something’. If this is dropped, no matter which path you follow or which practice you do, it is all about this.

Now, that is what I’ve been saying; that even in spirituality, because the habit is to pick up something, then even this spiritual concept we can pick up. Like, we can hear in Satsang ‘I am Awareness’. You can just pick it up as a concept and put it there: ‘I am Awareness. I’ve found the master key to life. I am Awareness’. So, if anyone says something like ‘What do you like for lunch?’ the reply is ‘I am Awareness’. [Chuckles) You see? That becomes the manifestation of spiritual ego. So, we remain empty even of even spiritual concepts. We use all spiritual concepts just as thorns to remove other thorns.

So, in this way; whatever is easy. Actually, this is the pathless path, because you know the good news. The good news is that right now you are empty of that ‘something’. It’s just that we got used to buying from the salesman who has been selling us fake goods for so long. But now we are learning how to say ‘No’. Not even ‘No’ …, just ‘Move on, move on’. That’s all that’s happening. That’s the meaning of what the zen masters had said: ‘Let all thoughts come and go, just don’t serve them tea.’ It’s the same thing. Don’t pick up that ‘something’ and attach it to yourself.

I feel like this, in this very simple way, it can get to the root of it. Otherwise, I know that many times the words of Satsang can seem contradictory; we don’t know if it’s this way or that way. All of Satsang is basically an attempt. So, if your ‘something’ is of this type, then what you’ll hear in Satsang is the opposite type, so we can empty you of that ‘something’ notion. If it’s the opposite type, then we have to say it. If you are going too much to the right, right, right then I say ‘Left, left, left’. Or I say ‘Come here; right, right, right’. If you are going too much to the right, right, right, then I say ‘Come here; left, left, left’. You see? The point of concepts is not that you will learn something. Actually, it’s to unlearn everything. In Satsang, the point of concept is just that. That’s why.

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Devotees Have the Easiest Time

The bud, the flower bud might also feel, when the change comes and it is opening up, it might feel like it is dying. ‘If my petals are just opening, opening, they might just fall off’. Like that. This resistance to opening up is like that. You don’t know what is happening. That is why sometimes it is said that the devotees have the easiest time of it because they feel like ‘Whatever it is, it is the Master’s problem’.

Come to your notion-less existence. And see that these words are just your own inner insight. Nisargadatta Maharaj was a seller of small cigarettes called beedis; no education, no Advaitic background, did not go to any school. Just in his unfolding, he saw that it is so clear. Then his words, this uneducated beedi seller, his words have become the revered scripture (almost, you can say). It was wanted, maybe, that he didn’t know. And he continued not to know. From that not-knowing, he can speak of the True Knowingness.

But if there’s a claimant to this Knowingness, then you know that it has become mental; it has become a position.

It’s empty of one to know. Only the Knowingness Is. There is nobody who decided to be aware. There is nobody who has suddenly become aware.

This Awareness that we speak of is prior to all of this; all that can change.

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Bhajans Are a Choice-less Invocation

Q: Can you talk about the importance, if there is any, of the bhajans and chants?

A:Bhajan is actually an invocation. It is a choice-less invocation almost, in the sense that in the one who calls, something arises in their Heart when the call arises…, and the one that responds, also has no option. So that aspect of Consciousness…

Maybe some other day I can share more about what all these aspects are and if they are real or not real. But that aspect of Consciousness which is being invoked with no expectations, with no phenomenal gain in mind, just out of this beautiful space of devotion (and whether you are invoking Krishna or Jesus, it doesn’t matter) that aspect of Consciousness serves your Presence.

This invocation that we call bhajan is a beautiful part of the play, a sweet part of the play, that is still enjoyed here very much. [Smiling] It is with very bad singing usually (is what arises here) but with full, full love to enjoy the taste of Consciousness that we might call…, whatever name we might give to it.

It’s like invoking the Holy presence of Guruji [Sri Mooji] invoking the Holy presence of Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] invoking the Holy presence of Papaji [Poojaji]. You can taste their flavor, isn’t it? You can taste their Presence. It is the same way as it is with anything that you have true devotion in your Heart for.

So, besides the joy of the singing, the beautiful words, the tune and melody, all of these things, true bhajans are an invocation from the Heart to that aspect of the Formless One which appears in these most beautiful forms.

And just like a Master is an appearance of this aspect of Consciousness which is so empty of the concepts about himself or herself, we invoke the beautiful Presence of the Master. They are there; always there, but even their flavor becomes apparent.

Very beautiful. And whatever your starting temperament might be, you will find that as True Knowledge dawns then True devotion is a by-product of that. If true devotion flowers, you find that these beautiful insights, true Knowledge, also appears. Like Nisargadatta Maharaj; all he had was his devotion to his Master and yet he spoke right from the place of the Absolute.

There are many, many, many rivers that lead to the same ocean. In the same way, all paths lead to your Self, because the Self is always there.

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Rely on Your Own Insight

So, if I told you that God is Here…, I’m saying God is Here…, and you say, ‘Father, can we talk about that emotion I felt for five minutes yesterday?’ [Laughs] is it a good deal?

I say: God is Here. And you say, ‘No, yesterday, I saw God. I was meditating and after a long time, many years of meditating, something became very clear and yesterday, I saw God.’

I’m saying: God is Here. And you say, ‘Why do I get this intimate pain in my left elbow?’ [Laughs]

I say: God is Here. And you say, ‘What do you mean by awareness?’

[Silence]

What will you exchange God for?

[Silence]

This is the only choice that (… who is making?) God is making. So, it is God choosing to exchange Himself for a limited notion of Himself or Herself.

How about, in Satsangs from now on, if I find that we’re exchanging God for a notion, I just say: But God is Here.

And when ‘Mr. me’ comes, ‘Mr. mind’ comes, and he says ‘Okay, God is here, but what about me!?’ then we can say: But are you? Are you? Is there one that is separate from God?

That is inquiry. To See that God is Here is surrender. And then, when the mind comes and says ‘What about me? What about me?’ you say ‘Who are you?’ So, both surrender and inquiry are here.

This is the primal difference in what is called ‘direct Satsang’ and that which is called ‘indirect pointings’. Direct Satsang means that we start with this perspective, this clear Seeing, this direct insight that ‘I Exist. I Am. Consciousness Is’. Whereas, if it was indirect, then we would all collectively pick up the presumption that we are a person, we are people, we are the ego, and then figure out ways to get to God or get to the Truth. Since most of you have been here for a long time, there must be something which enjoys this directness.

So, either when we choose to pick up a notion, to pick up a concept or thought, either there must be a sense that what is being shared in Satsang is not true (that there must be a God and a ‘me’ and the ‘me’ must resort to these concepts and notions about itself) …, or it’s just a bad habit.

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How to verify that what is being shared is true? I’m not saying to take my word for it. I’ve given you a simple tool to check:

Try to stop being.

Don’t be for an instant.

Don’t exist for a moment.

Did it? You cannot do it. If you had, then I would have seen the body fall. [His head falls forward] Sleep would have come; unconsciousness would have come. When the sense of Consciousness is there, when the sense of Existence is there, it relies on this Being, I Am Presence.

Now, stay with me on this point. This Being, this Consciousness…, the mind has convinced you that it is personal, that it is limited. This Presence, this Being which you cannot stop, this Existence which you cannot stop…, the mind has convinced you that it is personal, that it is limited. But if you explore with your inner insight, you will find that this Being, this Consciousness, has no boundary. All the sensations which we call the body are contained within It. All the perceptions which we call the world are contained within It.

All it means is one moment where you keep your doubt aside and just check: Where are these words? The mind will tell you that they are outside you. But actually, they are just inside. Your attention does not leave You; it cannot. Because there is no ‘outside’.

This is nothing fancy. This is our simple, natural truth.

You have met God.

There is no greater God that you can meet except Your own Being.

[Silence]

Check if there is anybody else here.

Is there a ‘me’ and ‘the Being’?

Is there a person sitting there on the side who has your name?

[Silence]

I Am this I Am.

[Silence]

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The play is continuing. All the senses are functioning in their own natural way. The world has not stopped. The body functioning continues. Effortlessly, life continues to move. In the great stillness which is Your Being, all expressions continue to move around.

Now, the great trick, the great trick, is how the mind will come and tell you that ‘You know that person that you can never find? It wants something. That person that you cannot find has to do something.’

This is a beautiful part of this divine illusion is how Consciousness Itself picks up these notions, from its own aspect called ‘the mind’. Now, in the play, Consciousness Itself is playing as if It is addicted to these notions…, and seems to experience withdrawal symptoms every time we say ‘Just don’t pick up a notion about yourself’. [Then comes] ‘But, but, but, but, but….’ You see?

[Chuckles] ‘But’ is the withdrawal symptom. It’s telling you that life is going to stop or the world is going to stop. Nothing has stopped.

Let me tell you from here; these words are flowing from this mouth. Is there a person sitting here saying them? No, I don’t find him. They are just appearing. Just like these eyes are blinking, this heart is beating, these words are just appearing. The same is true for you! Like [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj used to say, isn’t it? ‘The mind comes after, post-facto, and takes credit or blame.’ Sometimes, it also comes pre-facto. That’s why it is tricky. But what is happening is just happening. And if you were just to rely on your insight for a little bit of time, you will See that this is completely true for every movement; even those movements which we have called ‘mine’ in the past.

[Silence]

So, if everything is moving effortlessly, then you have to check the veracity of these words. If you feel like there is an individual entity which is doing something, you must be able to find this one. Don’t rely on any conjecture now. Don’t rely on any feeling. Rely on your inner intuition, on your intuitive insight, and See if there is such a one…, who deserves credit or blame for any action, arrogance or guilt about anything that has happened.

[Silence]

Now, if it is God that you want, or the Truth that you want, then drop every notion. Don’t make anything a ‘thing’.

But if it is the play that is not tiring enough yet, that we are not done with yet, then continue to play, by all means. All of this is for God to play with.

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‘I Am’ Presence Is Not About Definitions

Q:Some of the biggest notions of God are like ‘God is omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient’.

So, to use the word God is very hard to reconcile or recognize.

A:This is an excellent point she is making. She is saying that because we’ve defined God to be omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient, what has happened is that when we heard these words, we made conditions out of them. Because we believed ourselves to be a person, then our idea of omnipotence became somebody who is GIANT, HUGE…, if He appears, then his nose will be big enough to stand on or something. [Chuckles] That strong. So strong.

But now, what you’re finding is a different kind of omnipotence. When God IS then the world IS. When God IS then all this time and space and the world IS. Gravity, electricity, light, sound; only when God IS. I Am. I awaken, I Am, and this whole light and sound show starts to show up. When ‘I Am’ disappears [as in deep sleep] then everything goes. ‘I Am’ appears and a different realm can appear with strange people and strange objects; that which we call a dream. Then this ‘I Am’ disappears. Then ‘I Am’ comes. Any realm can come with its own time and space and objects and qualities and attributes of all sorts. That is this ‘I Am’ …, in the appearance of which all of this starts to play.

Bigger than any idea of omnipotence that we can have mentally, we are coming to the discovery of this ‘I Am’ …, in the Light of which the world IS, the universe IS. From there, the Sage can say that ‘The universe is nothing but the body of God’. Which means what? It’s just the phenomenal aspect of God.

Omnipotent. Omnipresent. That what also we are checking; omni-presence. Does all of this happen within this very Presence? Is there anything outside? If there is nothing outside of this, then what is That which is beyond all things? It is this omnipresence, I Am. Being.

So, power and Presence. Then omniscient: what is it that Knows everything? Again, when we originally heard ‘knows everything’ we again expected it to be in a personal sort of way. ‘Only when I know about the future, I know about everything that happened in the past, I know everything conceptually or experientially, only then will I say I am omniscient, I am God.’

What we’re finding is that which is perceived here, that which has our attention: only that exists. Whether that attention seems to be on the so-called present or on so-called memory, all of the past or projections of the future, everything is coming from This. Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘You perceive only that which you conceive’. So, That which is the conceiver of all of this, the perceiver of all of this…, That is beyond any kind of mental knowing. It is all Its play. It knows every aspect. Every single atom of this play only moves with the will of God. Even the blade of grass moves only with God’s will. So, this will cannot be separate from this pure Knowing.

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So, in this way, we are recognizing that what we had understood about these concepts, that is all being blown apart and we are coming to a deeper recognition of these (which are called) qualities of God. We’re Seeing that from this place, these are true; not what we had in mind about them. And that is why when we come to the recognition of this Being, it can seem so innocent, so simple, so gentle, that we can feel like ‘What happened to that ‘omni, omni, omni’?’ [Chuckles] This is so innocent, like a child. And yet, as we investigate it, as we dig deeper into our own Presence, we find that all of this is completely true; that It is so much more. Yet, it is not true in the way that we expected it to be.

So, there is a story in the Bhagavad Gita where eventually Krishna had to reveal himself based on the condition that Arjuna had about him, because Arjuna said ‘Show me your giant form’. There was a war on, so Krishna said ‘Okay, let’s get on with it’. [Laughs] And he revealed himself in that way as well. But, as Guruji said, Krishna must have been a bit disappointed in the play, of course, to see that question come from Arjuna.

So, hopefully with this little bit of sharing…, just like the ‘I’ has been used in a different way but it’s changing now, to ‘beyond attributes, beyond form’. In the same way, all these definitions will also change.

Q:There is this strange feeling that God cannot be separate; It is in All That Is. But I cannot be

God. So, it’s only reconcilable here in ‘There is no ‘I’ here anyway (person)’.

A:Yes. This is how the word ‘I’ has been used to denote something which is limited for so long. So, when we apply it to the greater-You, then it can feel like the word is a bit alien to That which is so pristine. It can seem that way. But this feeling will also subside. There will be no feeling of arrogance when we say something like ‘I am God’. Or even beyond that, if you were to say ‘I am That in which even this Consciousness comes and goes; higher than God’.

But there is no rush for these things. In fact, the saying of them is not even important. So, if we are more comfortable using the term ‘Consciousness’ and more able to See so gently that ‘Yes, even Consciousness emerges and dissolves; and all happens in the Light of Consciousness’ then just Consciousness is enough. We don’t have to struggle with any terms.

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Why is Something So Meaningful to Me?

As long as whatever is happening is helping us to unburden ‘I Am’ from all notions of ‘I am something’ then it is beautiful Satsang. Whatever is giving your notions to this ‘I am something’ is contradictory to what Satsang is; which might include even the words of Satsang. Including…, (it might sound contradictory to what I’ve been saying but really it’s not) including if it is just a notion that ‘I am God’ or ‘I am Consciousness’ or ‘I am Awareness’ or ‘I am the Self’. If these are just notions that we are giving to ourself then better to not have heard these words at all. That is why, for thousands of years actually, all these words were just shared in secret. The Upanishads say ‘Sit close. Sit close to the Master’s feet and share these words.’ It is like that.

So, nothing here be must be applied from notions or concepts to ourself. Everything that is here is just like a barber shop. [Chuckles] It’s to trim things away. We have no wigs for you here to wear. [Laughs] There’s no masks. We’re here to remove the masks. And I definitely don’t want to give anyone a spiritual mask.

That’s why I enjoy a question like this very much, saying ‘There’s just a fear about the laptop. All day I’m making highlights and looking at Satsang, so what happens if the laptop is not there?’ You see? Like that. And it’s full integrity. The question is not with a spiritual mask or something like that. ‘This is how it is. This fear is coming. I’m using that to check: What here is attached? Whose laptop is it?’ It’s very beautiful.

The inquiry is very simple like this, actually. [Silence]

Surrender means just with this insight of ‘God is here’ …, everything is His problem, everything that is moving is in the light of Consciousness’. Whether we use the word ‘God’ ‘Guru’ ‘Self’ it doesn’t matter. These are just words we have to use in Satsang. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] also very beautifully said ‘God, Guru and Self are One’. So, whatever we feel naturally devoted to, that we can say.

And most ‘but’s…’ will lose their potency, will lose their meaning. But whatever still comes, then we can pull that into our inquiry and say ‘Why is this so meaningful to me, that I’m happy to exchange my holy, divine Presence for just this notion of myself?’

Whether it is relationship, whether it is attachment, whether it is health of body, whether it is freedom itself, the concept of freedom; why is something so meaningful, so valuable to me now? Who is this ‘me’?

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Are You Really Here for Truth?

When Satsang got over yesterday, we were just joking around a bit and after everything that we said, we were saying ‘But, God is Here’. [Smiles] It’s like we said yesterday, the starting point is this.

And then the mind will say ‘But…’ (…something) and in response to the mind’s ‘But…’ we can have this big ‘But’ which says ‘But, God is Here’ or ‘But, Guru is Here’ or ‘But, Self is Here’.

Guruji [Sri Mooji] often says, ‘Nothing is stronger than the holiness of Your Being.’

Something very innocent and beautiful I read many months ago, which said ‘Don’t tell your Guru how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big your Guru is.’ It’s very innocent and sweet, but it’s very beautiful. It is enough, actually. It’s the same as saying ‘But, God is Here.’

Surrender is like this; very simple, very innocent-sounding pointings. But something has to take, something has to catch on and say ‘Yes’.

For something that cannot be surrendered, then we have another Master Key. If you find something that ‘This, I just can’t surrender’ then that which you can’t surrender, you pull into your inquiry. And you will come to the same recognition, that the separate ‘me’ never was there. There is nobody whose problem this is.

Now, if the problem itself is that ‘I want to play with this ‘me’ longer’…, if the problem itself is that ‘I want to play with this ‘me’ a little longer’ that ‘I want to play with the spiritual ‘me’ or the enlightened ‘me’ or the whole journey of practices and siddhis and getting to peace of mind’ (or something like that) then by all means, play with that. But then don’t say ‘I want to come to the end of this. What is the end?! I want the Absolute, the Truth! I’m tired of this spiritual journey.’ [Instead] say ‘I’m playing this, I’m enjoying. Why are you stopping me? Why do you say to surrender everything? I’m really enjoying this.’

Suffering only comes when what we are saying is different from how we are playing.

If on one hand we say ‘I want to come to the end of this now’ and I’m saying ‘Wonderful! It is your lucky day! Today, Right Now, it is the end of it!’ then unless you want to still play with it, you will not pick up the ‘But…’

If you are done with it, then you are done with it.

If you’re not done with it, then play. Enjoy the play. There is nothing wrong with it. But play with the innocence of a child going to the playground. Otherwise, when you’re in the

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playground, you’re crying…, and when you’re taken away from the playground, also you’re crying.

[Reads an online chat message]: “Actually, there is no problem until the problem of ‘me’ arrives on the scene.”

Yes. Like yesterday, we said ‘Till Mr. ‘me’ comes or Mrs. ‘me’ comes.’ And this is the beautiful part of it, that it never comes actually. It just comes as an idea of it, as a notion of it.

So, when the notion of it comes, we either let it come and go and say ‘It is the Satguru’s problem’ or we say ‘Who is this one?’ or ‘Who is it talking to?’ Either question is the inquiry.

But if we accept it, without any basis (because it doesn’t have a basis actually) then in the design of the world, suffering is bound to follow. Suffering is only the result of an un-inquired thought…, an accepted, un-inquired thought. If you have truly looked at the notion that is making you suffer, then the notion must dissolve; because at the premise, as the basis of all notions, is the idea of the non-existent ‘me’.

So, the spiritual journey is very simple. One main pointing is: ‘Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.’ [Chuckles] Just allow everything to come and go. ‘Life is just a dream.’

And the second part is, if there is something which is not making you ‘merry’ then you pick up that concept and say ‘Who is it that this concept applies to?’

‘Why am I not finding freedom? Why don’t I have better relationships? Why don’t I have more money? Why can’t I have a healthier body?’ These are the main notions. Find out if there is an ‘I’ like that which can have any of these things?

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Don’t Fill in the Blank After ‘I Am’ with Anything

If you hear this pointing: Don’t fill in the blank of ‘I am ________’ of ‘I am ____(blank)___’ with anything…, then the mind will lose all its power. Because all it has is suggestions to fill up that blank; to make this pure Presence ‘I Am’ into a notional idea ‘I am something’. Because that is effort, that is tiring.

I know initially it can seem like to not attach, to not give that ‘something’ can seem a bit of an effort. I know it can feel like that. But it is only because, as we are returning to our naturalness, it has seemingly-become unnatural. The habit is to attach. So, in the breaking of the habit, it’s like we have been carrying something on our heads. Now everyone knows it is the carrying of the something which is effort. But it can feel like it is the keeping down which is effort. Because it can seem like ‘I am this’…, ‘this something is part of me’. It can seem like that appendage or the heavy box you were carrying of ‘something’ is a part of me. Actually, it is not.

So, the inquiry does this; Seeing that it is not. And the surrender does this. ‘Surrendering this box to a higher force, I don’t have to carry it anymore.’

All of spirituality is just this! Whether you do five hundred pushups to get here or you just hear this…, it’s so clear! I am not that ‘something’ which I always presumed myself to be. And now I have let it go.

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You Won’t Find the Unchanging as an Object

This simple point is clear, that for something you say is coming and going, to even say it is coming and going or to perceive that it is coming and going, there must be a constant which is not coming and going? So, if you were to report that this wall behind me changes color (sometimes it white, sometimes it is yellow, sometimes it is red, sometimes it is black) means that there must be something that is not going along with the white and the red, yellow and black; that is apart from that, which witnesses that. So, if this is clear, then what we are talking about is really simple. Because the clue is that we have to find That which is the unchanging. While everything is changing, what is the unchanging?

Now, this unchanging; what is our experience? This Sight; That which is outside of the senses…, is it our experience that something is unchanging? In this appearance of the world, is there anything which is unchanging? There is nothing that is unchanging. Everything is constantly in a state of flux; constantly changing.

This body; how much has that changed? That baby that was born to our parents, that body is gone. That young child running after chocolate; that child is gone. The adolescent with all of the adolescent things is gone. This body has also been changing. Yet there is something constant which says that this is my body. Whose body is this? Who has perceived all this change? The world is changing now. What perceives this change? Thought…, changing or unchanging? Changing. Even those thoughts which we believe, that which we call our belief system…, look at your belief system ten years ago. Belief system is what? The bundle of all those beliefs that you believed; look at your belief system today. It is also changing. Emotions, changing. One second, joy, joy, joy. One second, grief, grief, grief. What about pleasure and pain. If any of these were constant, then we would not chase pleasure or try to run away from pain. These are also changing. What about the states? The waking state, sleep state, dream state. Anything which can be experienced is constantly changing. That which perceives all of this, which experiences all of this, that is the witness to all of this. And yet, by Itself, It remains unchanging. And yet, if It is unchanging, then It must be very simple. Because it has been our constant.

So, we cannot find it through the senses, we cannot find it through this inner perception of thought, memory, imagination, sensations like emotions; in all of this, we don’t find it. Who is that which is the witness of all of this? What is it that is the witness of all of this that changes?

So, if for a few moments, we allow that which is changing to be exactly as it is; if you’re not concerned about that at all for some time, then what is it that we are finding ourself to be?

And if we put all that we are concerned about, all our so-called problems, all our so-called responsibilities, all that we consider that we have to do, that we desire, if we put all of this in a basket called ‘changing’…, have you also jumped in the basket?

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What is it that is not inside the basket? If everything that changes and all concepts about everything that changes, if everything is put in the basket called ‘change’…, have you also gone?

The world is gone, the body is gone, thoughts are gone, imagination is gone, emotions are gone; what remains?

Let’s talk about that for a little bit. Because all our life, we speak about that which changes. Can you speak anything about That which is unchanging? Can we give some time to this, some focus to this? Because we know what is going to happen in the realm of change; we all know. This body is born and this body will be cremated or buried somewhere ultimately. The dream starts and the dream ends. It cannot continue forever. So, the story of the changing is very straight- forward. Is there something which is beyond this story? Something that will not die, when the phenomenal dies?

So, what are the clues we are finding now? That which is the unchanging, That which is beyond birth and death and That which is the witness to all that changes. All the elements are constantly changing. What witnesses the elements, including the space in which the elements are arising?

That is why in the scriptures it is said that there was this young boy, Nachiketa, who was offered everything that the world had to offer by the god of death. Yamraaj said, ‘Don’t ask me about the undying. You take everything that the world has to offer.’ But this young boy said, ‘No, tell me only about that which is beyond death.’ This is the story of a beautiful scripture called the Katha Upanishad.

Now, if you were Nachiketa…, what is it that you want? If the Supreme Lord was standing in front of you right now and said ‘Ask for whatever you really want in your heart’ will you ask for something which also will come and go? Or something which is beyond death?

Who are you?

If the term ‘appearance’ means ‘that which comes and goes’ then are you also an appearance?

And if you are not an appearance, then what are you?

Who is aware of all these appearances?

Is that itself also an appearance?

The nature of all forms is that they are changing. That is another clue:

You will not find the unchanging as it if is an object.

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You will not find the Truth as if it is a perception.

Can you report something which is beyond the realm of perception?

Here the mind starts to get confused, isn’t it? That’s why I take this simple example: What’s in my hand? You perceive the glass so you report the glass. You perceive something and you have the label ‘glass’ and you say ‘This is a glass’. But when I ask you if you are aware now, do you perceive Awareness?

And if you are perceiving something and mistaking that for Awareness, find out: What is aware of that?

Like, some of you, your mind might be offering you some visual of Awareness, like some dark space or some luminous energy; but what is aware of that? Is That space? Is That dark or light?

How do you confirm that you are aware?

That’s why we call it the ‘non-phenomenal experience’ where the mind cannot help us. The mind can only fathom phenomena.

You don’t have to imagine the answer. You don’t have to infer the answer. You cannot ‘solve’ this puzzle. You cannot use your intellect, you cannot use your reasoning, you cannot use any concept; no imagination, no past, no future, no sensation, no emotion.

What are you Right Now?

Allow all thoughts to come.

Notice what witnesses these thoughts.

Allow yourself to witness your next thought.

And as this thought goes away, what is it that witnesses the space between two thoughts?

Did the witness change? Or was it the same?

And if that which witnesses the coming and going of thought is unchanging, then You See that You cannot be the mind. The mind is just a bundle of thoughts.

Who is this perceiver?

And what is the nature of it?

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In Guru’s Care, It’s No Longer Your Concern

Q:It’s good to see you. I get so happy every time I see you; just smiling. Good to see you. The reason why I wanted to speak was I heard Papaji say ‘He who has done it would know he has done it.’ Okay, so I hear everything that you say, Father; and that the Master [Sri Mooji] says and Papaji [Sri Poonja] says. And I’ve been trying to be vigilant and not give anything to the mind, and just keep quiet. I’ve just been trying to keep quiet and just ‘sit on your lap’. But I don’t feel like I’ve done it, like Papaji said. And I don’t know what more that you can say or what more I can hear Mooji say or I don’t know if there’s another satsang I can hear that’s going to change anything or if I should just be vigilant. I’ve been listening to you guys since 2013 and I feel like I should feel more secure and established. And I don’t. And I don’t feel like it’s just a thought. I want to feel secure and established in the fact that I Am…, which I know; and I don’t want to be one of those people like [rolls eyes] ‘I know it intellectually’. [Laughs] I just want what the Truth Is. I don’t want to use the inquiry as a pain-killer anymore. I just want to totally be the Self and Know that I’m the Self; not to talk about it or let it be a phony thing. I want whatever light that shines through you, Father, and Mooji and Papaji, I want it to shine through me as well. And I don’t know if I’m articulating right or whatever, but I just want The Real Thing. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, I don’t want to sit and wait anymore, I don’t want to lay in bed and just hope, like ‘If I be quiet, and just be still, and stop the inquiry and stop the search…’ I know it’s simple and all that. It’s just, something’s not happening. And I don’t want to go through that any more. I don’t want to go through another satsang; I don’t want to be one of those people any more. Whatever needs to happen, I want it to happen. And I don’t even know what needs to happen. But those are my words.

A:This is a good report. A lot of integrity in this report. Now, what Papaji said; like the idea of having done it. But you said something which was even more important; which is that ‘I’ve come onto your lap’. Now, once you’ve gotten on my lap, then all that you want, all ideas about how it should be and even whether you’ve done it or not, is none of your concern. That’s the point of coming onto the lap. If you step onto the lap of the Satguru, then you know that all that you desire, all that you want, all of how life should be, whether you’ve done it or not…, everything is then Papaji’s problem. You get onto Papa’s lap; that’s why he’s called Papaji. [Smiles] You use the word Father in the same way. ‘I am on the lap of the Father.’ Then you don’t have to be concerned about anything at all. In this moment, you’re in the lap of the Satguru.

Now, if you pick up a notion about yourself, then you go down to play for a bit. That’s all this game is. In this moment already, you’re in the Satguru’s lap. But when you play with any notion, then you are stepping down to play for a bit. So, Satsang is just a call back to the lap. [Smiles] Now, are you on the lap? [Silence, looking at him] Before the answer, you are. You know what I mean; before a conclusion, you just naturally are. Before you can judge whether you are or not, You Are. Your natural state is that.

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Now, here naturally, is there a concern about whether you have it or you got it or not? [Silence] So, suppose for a moment, we forget about everything that happened; the car journey that got you here, how you started the satsang, then you asked the question; everything that I even said, all forgotten for one moment. [Silence] Naturally, what IS is full, is real, is complete. Right Now. [Silence]

Q:And we’ve been through this before. It’s just that simple. Something doesn’t want to believe it’s that simple, but it is. [Laughing] It just seems like it needs to be work. It doesn’t seem like Grace should be upon me like that. It feels like I’m too much of a sinner. [Chuckles] I mess up too much throughout the day; my mind is attacking people throughout the day. It doesn’t seem right for me to just sit on your lap and be in the moment and just know that past or present don’t even matter. It seems too simple. But I know it’s just that simple.

A:It is this simple; it is this simple. And yet, I can understand what you’re saying, that it is the habit to go back to a notion about ourself, about whether I’m worthy enough to get it so simply, have I been a sinner in my past…, all these concepts can be there…, that there are so many that have tried for so many years, hundreds of lifetimes of doing sadhana and they don’t seem to get it. How can Father say that this moment, this is all there is; I got it? So, it can seem like it’s this habit of going to this judgmental mind which is making the report card about yourself; which is saying that it cannot be so simple.

But actually, if You ARE That, then it has to be simpler than simple. If You Are already That (which all the Sages are saying, they have already said that ‘You Are That’) … if You Are already That, then there must be nothing to do, nowhere to go. [Silence] This is the same as being on my Father’s lap or being at the Guru’s feet; all the same thing. But you are not exchanging Your Being, Your Presence, for any idea about yourself; either the ‘I got it’ idea or the ‘I didn’t get it’. Neither of them are meaningful. [Silence] You see?

Now, these have been compulsive, these have been the habit, the addiction, for so long that it can seem like the cleaning up seems to take some time. So, this is what I mean by ‘the withdrawal symptoms from the mind’.

When you are drenched in this moment, in Your own Being, then naturally it is Seen that: This Was It! That’s why you say ‘Actually, I know in my Heart that it is that simple. But something refuses to accept it. My mind still comes up with resistance saying it cannot be this.’ And that still has some power because it has been given power in the past.

So, we shake through these withdrawal symptoms for a bit. Just know that I’m here holding your hand. And your Heart now is given more meaning than the mind. But it can be, from time to time, that the mind still comes up and gets some belief and attention; and that’s okay. That’s why I say that we have Satsang every day for this. If it was afinger-snap like that [Snaps fingers] where I could just tell you that: This Moment, You Are Complete! (naturally, in the most natural

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way) and the mind would not put up a fight with that, then we would just need to have one Satsang of ten minutes [Chuckles] …, one minute. But I know the mind puts up a fight because the habit has been to give it belief in the past. That’s why we look at it, again and again:

Is it true that there is something to be done?

Is it true that there is somewhere to go?

Is it true that you are not the Self?

None of these are true; and yet the mind will try to convince you that they are.

Also, what I want to share with you is: Don’t make your vigilance into ‘the checker guy’. Because sometimes when we hear the word ‘vigilance’ then in that word (which is a very beautiful word about Right Now) something becomes like a plan for me to become the checker guy; that I must check on my state, and ‘Am I being free enough or not?’

Vigilance actually is much more in the moment. In the moment, if you are experiencing some suffering, then we look at the concept that we are believing about ourself, and just let go of that. Either through inquiry or surrendering, it is let go of. Just that much vigilance. You don’t have to become ‘the vigilant one’. Because ‘the vigilant one’ will give you a progress report. He will say ‘Yes, today 50% free. Yesterday was 90% so today, I’m less.’ You see? That is not vigilance. Vigilance just means you don’t go into some sort of denial of the suffering. When suffering is there, then you are vigilant; you are looking at it and saying ‘Okay, this is the concept I’m believing about myself. Either I need to surrender it or really inquire into it to see whether this is true.’

Let me make it simpler. Let’s continue with the metaphor of the Father’s lap. You are on the Father’s lap. You’re not suffering. There can still be pain from time to time. But when nothing is your concern, then suffering (which is resentment, grievances, pride, false humility) then all these things you’re suffering from (remorse, regret; all that is called suffering) then, because nothing is my concern, I cannot have a grievance. If nothing is my concern, I cannot have pride or guilt. Everything is my Father’s doing.

So, when suffering comes, that ‘Oh, I shouldn’t have done that. Yesterday at work, I was so rude to my co-worker. I’m really not a good person’…, when these kinds of thoughts come, then we look at them and say ‘Who is this one, that did all that yesterday? Where is the one who spoke these words?’ To look with integrity (not some sort of Advaita excuse, but with integrity) we find that ‘That one is not there; there is nobody like that’. So, that is how vigilance works. What is it that we’re believing about ourself right now? But if we make that mental, if we say ‘Oh, I’m just 50% worthy of finding freedom because yesterday I was so rude to my co-worker’ then it’s just these report cards that we make about ourself.

So, very simply, just get on the Father’s lap and forget about how it must be there. [Smiles]

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You Are Ocean but You’re Getting ‘Drop’ Thoughts

I’m happy that over these past few days we’ve been speaking more about surrender. Ultimately, whatever the path might be, we come to this beautiful openness. The mind is playing on our self- concern. ‘What is happening? Am I getting it? Am I not getting it? Am I there yet? I got it, I lost it. Why can’t I understand what he’s saying? Why is my life like this? When will I find the Truth?’ It has created all these tactics to create a ‘me’ out of you, a ‘me’ out of Consciousness, a ‘me’ out of the Self. This is also a play of Consciousness Itself. In that, now, many of you are resonating with this simple surrender. Then the mind comes and says ‘You’re really getting this? Or not?’ [Chuckles] It’s the Master’s problem, it’s God’s problem. (You don’t even have to say that.) It’s just allowed to come and go. The concern about taking care of this ‘me’ is no longer yours. That’s the best part of having a Master. That’s why Bhagavan’s [Sri Ramana Maharshi] simple example of when you got on the Guru train, you don’t have to check every minute saying ‘Where am I now? Am I going the right way?’ Just get on the Guru’s train. Trust Guru power. [Chuckles]

And don’t make anything a ‘thing’. Because nothing is a ‘thing’. You notice the mind’s attempt to make everything ‘a thing’. Most of them you are now allowing to come and go. But some subtle ones might still come. What is the mind attempting to do? It is attempting to make something out of nothing; therefore, to make something out of You [Silence] in the belief that You are something.

Now, suppose you got on the EU rail from London to Paris. You’re sitting in the train with thousands of other people and it travels every day, many times a day. Are you going to ask others and say ‘Are you going to Paris? Are we going to Paris? I don’t feel that we’re going to Paris.’ [Laughs] ‘I’m sure that the Conductor has lost his way. Are you sure we’re going in the right direction?’ This is doubt. This is self-doubt. ‘Am I worthy? Am I getting it? Do I deserve it? Have I got the right tickets? Have I come to the right station?’ This is doubt. But all of this is coming from that self-concern, which is not really concern for the Self but concern for the non- Self, the ego.

So, if you are convinced that you’re on the right train, you don’t have to bother about even if there is something like a destination. The one who wants to get somewhere, the one who wants to get it, is not You, is not Real. It’s still the mind trying to convince you of your limited position.

And the BEST news in all of this is that in this moment, Right Now, all of this is gone. [Silence] I wonder whether if all of you really See: This is the best news! Everything, every condition that I believe about myself and everything that I did in the past and how long I’ve been in Satsang or not, whether I’ve understood anything or not…, nothing really matters in this moment Now. You are completely complete.

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Now, if all ‘buts…’ lose their meaning, then we don’t have to have a Satsang tomorrow. Or we can have Satsang just to marinate in this joy together. [Smiles] But really, it’s just because some ‘but…’ is still meaningful that we have to meet over and over, every day, just to clean that up.

Can you imagine how it would be if the opposite was true? This moment came, and actually you are deeply identified; there is a person sitting here, which you are, and you have to bring that person to the destination? So, you’re holding his hand, saying ‘Come, come. I’ll take you the place.’ If every day, you had to drag this person to the Truth, what a job that would be!

But the good news is: It is Seen that there is no such person. It was just a bad idea. [Chuckles] You can’t even say it’s a bad idea. It’s just an idea from Consciousness to experience Itself in this way. But when you’re suffering from it, it can seem like it’s a very bad idea. ‘Why would God want to do this to Itself?’ Why I say it is good news is because there is no person sitting here who needs to be taken to the Truth. I’m not taking anyone to the Truth. I’m just showing You that what You’re believing about YourSelf is not Your True position.

There is no separate drop of water that I have to merge into the ocean. I’m just showing you that You Are the ocean itself but you’re getting ‘drop’ thoughts. [Laughs]

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Thought or Not, Existence is Just Effortlessly Here

Let’s start with how I’ve usually been starting, which is to point out that Right Now, in this very moment, you are existing effortlessly. Your existence in this very moment is effortless. I’m going to pause after everything so that you take some time to see whether this is your direct insight. In this moment, your existence is effortless.

Q: Existence means alive? Being alive?

A:That ‘I Am’. It is; but what I’m saying is that we don’t even have to insert another concept. If I say ‘Do you exist right now?’ …, do you need the concept ‘I am alive’ to report the ‘Yes’? Suppose you didn’t have the word at all, aliveness or alive; nothing. Just ‘I exist’. If I say

‘You don’t exist’ [you will say] ‘But, I Am’.

I’m trying to keep it as straight as possible so it is your direct insight and we don’t have to refer to any concept that we had. You know, yesterday I came across one editor [Editing program] and using that editor you can only use a thousand words. [Chuckling] So, it keeps your writing very simple. I saw this and felt this is a brilliant idea and wanted to send it to the team at work. Like this. Just that I exist or I Am; that you don’t insert any concept about it where you’re relying on the inferences like ‘Yes, obviously, I’m alive ‘ or something like that.

Do you see that you exist? Is it your direct insight that you exist? That is what is important because we have to move away from just a conceptual spiritually. That is what I’m trying to do today; just to see that if I had no concept of it, if I had no thought about it…, thought is coming and going but irrespective of whether thought is here or not, I am here. We have not yet said what this ‘I Am’ is or what ‘here’ is. We have not picked up any presumption of any of the terms. But what is apparent is that I exist, I am here.

Everyone with me so far?

Q:Anantaji, I feel that even ‘effortless’ is an unnecessary qualification because I’m not able to check whether ‘I Am’ by some effort or what has brought me to this point. Obviously, so many things. It’s just that it’s there.

A:Yes, it’s there; and effortlessly means the same thing. If it were effortful…, for example, if I’m not thinking (let’s call that one kind of effort, thinking) …, if the thought is not there, then it’s not that my existence ceases to be. You see? Whether there are many thoughts or no thought, my existence is there. I’m not picking it up, I’m nor holding it up; my existence. Like even to sit up straight [Laughing] is not the natural state here. It is like slouching. [Chuckles] It seems like now I’m holding it up. But neither of these positions [Sitting up straight or slouching] makes a difference to this existence. That’s what I mean by effort. It’s not being propped up through thought, intellect or physical activity of any sort. It is just there.

Q: Whenever I check, it is there, all the time.

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A:Yes; unsupported. Effortlessly means unsupported…, unsupported by any prop; be it a physical prop, be it a mental prop, be it an imagination prop. Like, if I say ‘The pink elephant exists here effortlessly’ you will say ‘No, no’. If there is the effort of imagination, then it exists in our perception. But This (imagination or not, thought or not, physical activity or not) it is just here.

Let me again say what the initial point was; that you exist effortlessly. Now, this existence, whether the experience in the existence is pain or pleasure or contentment (we are not even talking about any of the qualities yet) …, but you are there. We are not even talking about which ‘you’ (what that ‘you’ is that is there) or anything. But if I say ‘Do you exist right now?’ …, it doesn’t matter whether there is pain, whether there is resisting or whatever. The answer ‘Yes’ does not come from a concept that ‘I have to exist’. It is just so naturally said. This is what is meant; like natural. Effortless is natural, not propped up; unsupported by any phenomena, unsupported by any concept, unsupported by any energy. Your existence is Here.

So, here we are just checking, Empty of all the previous concepts we might know, of anything that we might know, even about the Satsang and what is shared here…, when I say ‘Do you exist?’ if you don’t go with a mental concept of existence, you then say ‘Yes, I am here’.

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Where Is the One That Has Any Problem?

Let me say again what the initial point was, that you exist effortlessly. Now, this existence, whether the experience in the existence is pain or pleasure, contentment; we are not even talking about any of the qualities yet, but you are there. We are not even talking about which ‘you’ …, what that ‘you’ is that is there. We don’t know anything. But if I say ‘Do you exist right now?’ It’s ‘Yes’. It doesn’t matter whether there is pain, whether there is this thing or that. The answer ‘Yes’ does not come from a concept that ‘I have to exist’. It is just so naturally a fact. So, this is what is meant; like natural. Effortless is natural, not propped up; unsupported by any phenomena, unsupported by any concept, unsupported by any energy. Your existence is Here.

So, here we are just checking (and empty of the previous concept that we might know, anything that we might know, even about the Satsang and what is shared here) when I say ‘Do you exist?’ …, if you don’t go with the mental concept of existence, then you say ‘Yes, I’m here’. Here we can converge, to start with. Now, if we were to define pain as something which just comes up naturally, which comes and goes, but suffering as something which requires a sense of ‘something happening to me’. So, pain is just the energetic experience of a movement in Consciousness, but suffering means that there is a ‘me’ which is involved. ‘Why does this happen to me? I hope this isn’t continuing till tomorrow because I have something important.’ You see?

So, irrespective of whatever energetic might be appearing now within this existence, can I suffer in this very moment? Is there a ‘me’ here who has a life, who has a plan, who has grievances, who has resentment, who has pride, who has humility, who has regrets? Right Here, Right Now, only through your direct insight, the same way you have been checking, do you find the one who has any problem? [Silence]

Q: But isn’t the experienced also part of the experience?

A:Yes, yes. A little pain is there. That’s why I said, distinguish between pain and suffering. We said pain can come, any energetic movement can come, any thought can come, any emotion can come. All of this is there. But is there an owner, an individual owner, of this problem? And if there is, where is that one? What does it look like? If there is a problem with a relationship, if there is a problem with money, any problem, even the freedom problem, where is the one that has that one?

The body is unconcerned about money, emotions, thoughts. Money cannot touch any of this. Where is the one that has any problem? In the openness, the nakedness of Right Now, empty of any mask, if you’re not presuming anything, when you’re just looking, do you find this one?

Q:Is it like that actually there are no problems at all, and only thought is labeling a certain thought? Even the concept of problem exists only at the level of thought?

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A:Yes, that’s true. Why is it true? Because the ‘me’ which could have the problem itself is not there. You see? This is important to see. Because the ‘me’ has remained as a presumption, even relying on our knowledge. ‘Yes, yes, this part I know. This, I don’t.’ So, when we are looking now, we are actually doing an audit and Seeing whether there is such an entity there. So, if there’s no such an entity there, then what can it have? Including a problem, it cannot have, because there’s no such an entity there. You see? ‘What color is the necklace of the blue cat on the table?’ So, our problem is like that necklace of the blue cat on the table. It’s non-existent.

That’s why, more important than to say that ‘Ah, there is no necklace!’ is to See that actually there is no blue cat at all! Then the possibility of the necklace itself is taken away. You see what I’m saying? If there was a ‘me’ and you find that there can actually no problem for this ‘me’ …, it’s a nice pointing…, but to See that there’s no ‘me’ like that at all, which could have that accessory called problem, it is then so clear that it cannot have such possibility. But if there was a limited me, if there was an individual me, then maybe you feel today ‘Okay, today God is taking care of all my problems, so it’s fine’ or something like that; but then tomorrow it could feel like ‘Oh, God is testing me with the problem.’ Something like that.

So, we can switch from perspectives about having a problem or not, but as long as the ‘me’ idea is still there, we are really exploring the root of this, and saying ‘Is there such a one which is here right now?’ Body seems to appear, thoughts seem to appear, emotions seem to appear, pain seems to appear, but the one that is concerned about relationship, or security or how life should be, how I should be perceived, all of these things; that one, can we find?

Q: Either there are problems or things are going well.

Exactly. Exactly. That’s how we come to the ‘not-applicable’. This is a very good example. We have problems or things are going well. So, when you come to say ‘That is actually not applicable. Conversationally in the world, of course I can say ‘I’m fine, everything is well’. But actually, it does not apply. It only comes once we See that there is no such ‘me’ here, and to See that it’s a presumption. And now we are going to get into how that presumption comes about.

So, can everybody see that there is no such ‘me’ inherently in this Now? Here and Now, you cannot find this ‘me’. You See, right Here and Now. Let’s take a simpler example. Where is the one that has or had any concern about security, money, the state of the world or any of these things? Do you find this one? And what is the shape or size of this one? [Silence] I exist. This is undeniable. For most of you, you said ‘Yes’ so effortlessly. And now, we are looking for that one which suffers, which has problems. We are looking even for the seeker, who’s seeking freedom, the one that has any sort of lack.

In your naturalness, right Here and Now, do you come across such an entity? Is there such an entity? Do you find the limited one, the one that has any boundary at all?

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What Does the Term ‘Boundary’ Mean?

Q: What is the term ‘boundary’ and what does it mean?

A:What are the constituents of the limited identity that most of us seem to carry around? Where do you actually end? You say ‘I end at the body’. But what is our actual experience of this? How are you experiencing your body now? Who can tell me how is the body experienced? There is a visual perspective and…

Q: There is a visual perspective and feeling.

A:So, these sensations which seem to define the boundary. There is visual perception and there are these sensations. Now, both these visual perceptions and these sensations, where are they being experienced? Take it very slowly; there is no rush.

Q: In myself.

A:So, what is the boundary of that in which the visual is there, the sound is there and the sensations of the body are there? [Silence]

I know it can sound like a strange question but just play with me for a bit and see that what I’m saying is: These words are heard in that same space, the sensations of the body are felt in the same space, all these visuals are experienced in the same space. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharishi] would call it the stream of Consciousness; but we don’t have to worry about those words. Where is all of this happening, experienced?

Now, the mind has said that this [Pointing towards his body] is my boundary; and the voice which I’m hearing (which is Ananta’s voice) is coming from outside of me [Points away from his body] because this is my boundary.

For a minute, we are dropping that; like a child who doesn’t know if the hand is a toy, or the toy is the toy. For a minute, we are not picking up the idea that ‘This is my boundary’. We are going to go with our insight about where all of this is being experienced, irrespective of whether the mind is defining or not. Follow? Although it is very radical, to check is not difficult if there is some openness.

Q: You may say that the mind is setting up the boundary.

A:Exactly, exactly. So, that which we have taken as the valid voice for the ‘me’ is what we are questioning now, which is the mind itself and its presumptions. So, now if you don’t just blindly follow what the mind is saying…, you say ‘Okay, Mr. mind, this is what you are saying, but let me check this for myself ‘ then do you find that the sensation of the body that seemed to define your boundary is actually happening in the boundless space of You? It is not a physical space, but we just have to use that term so we will say ‘The boundless space of You’.

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Are you like the water that is contained within the glass? And suppose the boundary of the glass had some sensations. Are you experiencing it like the water within the glass, experiencing the boundaries outside of yourself, at your edge…, or are these boundaries also contained within the same space of your Existence where this voice is heard, where this traffic is heard, where any experience is?

Q: What is experienced defines the boundary.

A:What you experience, when it is mixed up with the mind, then it seems to define a boundary. But in the experience itself, do you find any boundary to You? And look at: That which seems to be perceived as a boundary, where is that contained?

So, boundary means what? That there is drop which is separate from the rest of the ocean. It’s like a drop of water which is contained in the ocean, and that drop will have a particular energetic boundary it something. Here we are just checking whether, really, we are this drop itself …, or are we that ocean which contains all of those experiences of that which we have previously called me and another, inside and outside. Where is all of that? Where is this body sitting in front of you? [Pointing to himself] Where is that experience?

Q: It’s experienced within.

A:Within. The sound is experienced within; everything is experienced within. Again, we are not yet talking about what that ‘within’ is. But in that same space where all the objects of perception are experienced, in the same space, even this seeming-sensation of the body we experience.

Now, this is not a persistent thing. A part if your boundary, for example, are your ears. You were not even aware of your ears till I pointed them out. You see? In that moment, there was no perception if it. As one of my teachers used to say ‘We feel like the body is defining us but till I pull your ear, you won’t even know that you have an ear’. [Chuckling] So, it is these sensations which seem to have been created as a definition for a ‘me’ but actually, all of these are just sensations happening within My Being.

Now, very good. That we have walked together so far itself is very, very good. So, what have we seen?

I exist unsupported, effortlessly. Naturally, existence is here. No matter what the experience might be, I just Am.

The one that has all the suffering, all the problems, I look for that one but (at least, so far) I don’t find a tangible entity that I can say ‘That one has this problem’. And I notice also that all that I perceive is just like a perception or sensation within the same Existence that is here effortlessly, unsupported.

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How Do We Perceive Something?

Q:I just don’t understand that how it is possible that all of this personality stuff is still experienced. It’s still playing out. And at the same time, you know, it is just nothing. There is just nothing.

A: Let’s look at this. This is very good. This is exactly what brings us to the next point.

So, now, when we saw that there is Existence here (I Exist, I Am) …, as long as there is a sense that ‘I Exist’ then all these energetic perceptions (whether we call them sensations, whether we call them thoughts, whether we call them emotions; basically, it is all that which is the object of perception) …, now, what is here effortlessly?

And how do we even perceive something?

We found that there is a boundary-less Existence …, and the limited one we have not found so far. Now, we are going to dig a little bit deeper into what is the nature of this Existence.

As soon as I Exist, the play of time and space begins. In this play of time and space, very intimate sensations (which we call the body, intimate sensations that we call ‘my emotions’ and intimate sensations that we call ‘my thoughts’) these are perceived by all aspects of Consciousness which are experiencing themselves in this way. Sensations which we call ‘the body’. Sensations which we call ‘emotions’. Sensations that we call ‘thoughts’. And sensations that we call perceptions; outer perceptions like the world, objects, people…, all of these are perceived.

We just did a small experiment and we saw that all of this is experienced within the same Being. ‘Within myself’ we say. Where is it experienced? Within myself. And we saw that this space is boundless. Now, as our sensitivity is increasing, many of us will also experience sensations like the pain of another body, the emotion of another body, the thoughts of seemingly-another body. How is this possible? Even now, if somebody falls in front of you, we feel their pain; we go ‘ouch’. Even for the mildly sensitive, this happens. We see someone who gets hurt, we go ‘ouch’. The feeling comes here. How does it happen? We see that there is one space of experiencing. Now, some sensations seem more intimate and some seem less intimate.

Now, this space of Being, this space of Existing, consists of every possible flavor of experience that Consciousness can fathom; beyond even that which the mind can fathom. Every flavor of every experience, whatever It wants to taste, is available to It.

But maybe we are going a bit too far. Let’s come back to where we were. We were saying ‘I Exist’ and this Existence is beyond a boundary. But within this Existence, any experience can show up. This much everybody will agree with; any experience can show up.

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Now, there seems to be a force which is present, which is called attention. So, if attention goes to the world, then worldly perceptions seems to appear. If attention goes to the mind, then mental thought seems to appear. If attention goes to a deeper layer, a different layer, then an emotional experience seems to happen. But ultimately, attention can go deep, deep, deep into this very same Existence that we are talking about. Beyond that, even the functioning of attention ceases.

So, what are we discussing so far? Within this Existence, there is a play of all of these phenomenal qualities. For these phenomenal qualities to be experienced requires this force that we call ‘attention’. That which has our attention seems to be present in our Existence; that which does not have our attention, we cannot really say that it actually exists. You cannot confirm through your own insight the Existence of anything which is beyond your current perception. I am not saying that it doesn’t exist or that it exists right now; I am not saying any of that (so don’t let your mind wander off). I’m just saying that you cannot say what is happening in anything that is outside of your current perception. This much is agreed? And all of this perception is happening within Me; like we saw that it happens within Me. We don’t know who this ‘Me’ is yet, but it is clear that all which being experienced is being experienced within ‘Me’.

Now, if I had the ability to pick and choose what should show up within me…, naturally, it is your natural state, that you want to say ‘No, I want only chocolate ice cream and I don’t want vanilla.’ So, naturally, all these are coming and going. And the one that has the preference, the one that says ‘Okay, my experience should only consist of this and not of this’…, that one is not there. So, if you were to bring that one on; if you were to create a preference for yourself, if you were to say ‘This is what the next moment in my life should bring’ or ‘what every moment in my life should bring’ …, what would you have to do? In our natural state, none of this is there. Right Now, I Am, I Exist. But the one with all these preferences and ideas is not there. And within this Existence, all this phenomenal world is experienced. It will happen naturally. But if I had to actually say ‘No, this is what I want, this is what I need’ then what would I have to do? [Silence] So, if you had to create that, what would you have to do?

Q: I would have to create a thought.

A:So, we will not even worry about how that thought is created, but at least a thought has to be there. Suppose a thought did not come?

Q: Then that would not be possible.

A:Not possible. So, then, thought came; suppose it came…, just by the coming of that thought, do you want it? If the thought says ‘I want to own a villa in Alaska’ …, do you want a villa in

Alaska?

Q: If the thought comes, you have no choice, or no seeming-choice, about whether it came.

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A:What is that choice? Thought has come, that means it is perceived; therefore, attention is already on it. Now, there can be some sense of control over this attention. So, we might say

‘Okay, I’m not going to pay attention to my thought.’ But, in usual experience, that seems to create some struggle, doesn’t it, to try and fight attention away from it. ‘I’ll just look the other way and the thought will go.’ Usually it’s magnetic to our attention in some way. Now, thought has come, attention has also gone to it naturally. Then?

So, thought has come, attention has gone to it…, ‘I really want to have a villa in Alaska.’ Then? The choice (the seeming-choice, as you said) …, what is that seeming-choice?

Q: It seems like the mind takes a hold of it and makes a list of how it is feasible or not feasible.

A:So, another thought would come and say ‘This is completely feasible.’ Then the next thought comes and says ‘No, no, it doesn’t make sense.’ Then the thought comes ‘Yes, it makes sense.’

Suppose it works in that pentameter. Is just the coming of these thoughts and the attention to these thoughts causing any desire, causing any want?

What you will find is that there is a primal force which is not even just attention; this is what we call belief.

The thought comes ‘I want a villa in Alaska’. Attention can be fully on that thought, and yet, that saying ‘Yes’ (to see that that thought is true, that it is meaningful) …, that is not arising. This is an inherent part of Consciousness, your Existence. We so far talked about attention and how perception happens with attention. We’re now talking about belief. Attention can bring all kinds of objects to us. But can you believe an object? You perceive this object. [Spins his spectacles] Can you believe it or not believe it?

Q: It doesn’t make sense.

A:It doesn’t make sense. Because…? When attention goes to it, [Looks at the spectacles] the specs are there. When attention doesn’t go to it [Looks away] there are no specs. You see? So, that is the play of attention. Attention is there on the specs. To believe the specs or to not believe them; there is no such thing.

But, if the thought is there ‘Oh, the specs are dirty’ …, then you see that the belief or not-belief is not about the perception itself but about an interpretation of the perception. If the experience is fear; fear is experienced. When we believe the idea ‘I should not fear’ or ‘Fear should go away’ then that is what we call ‘resistance’. This is the invention of the ‘me’ …, the invention of the ‘I’.

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You notice that attention is bringing every perception to life, but belief is only to an interpretation of it, a thought about it; a concept, a notion (as I call it). Because in the object itself, there is nothing to believe or not believe.

So, belief applies to concepts.

Now, what did we notice? We noticed that: My Existence is not reliant on my belief. But what about my desire? (’I want my next experience which comes to be chocolate flavored.’)

Can you have this ‘want’ without a concept?

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Various Qualities of Perception Are Within Existence

Q:I just want to check with you. So, in this space of Being or Existence, as they call it, there are these sensory perceptions happening. Initially, the feeling was that the mind is the space in which this processing was happening. But now I’m seeing that it’s also another independent object, in the space of our Being.

A: You mean the mind?

Q:Yes. It’s also just another random. And it has its random boundaries of what is, but they have nothing to do with Me.

A:Yes. It is a question of how we define it. Let me take a minute on that so it becomes clear. In this existence, there are various, various, various qualities of perception. Isn’t it? That’s things like sight, hearing, taste, thought, memory, imagination, emotion. Not only that but sensations which we call the body. Then the leg sensation is different from the arm sensation. All these various venues of sensation are there. Suppose we had no buckets which defined any of the sensation. We don’t say ‘Pain or pleasure is in the body sensation’. We don’t have any ‘bucket’. We don’t say body / mind; nothing. Just a big swath of sensations; all our experience. Now, whatever sensation goes to is a sensation, is a perception.

Now (for ease of communication) we have made these buckets called ‘body, mind, outer world, inner world’. Suppose we had none of these boundaries and everything was experienced as a sensation. What is undeniable is that I Am. Within this Being, all this perception is happening; all these sensations are ‘tasted’.

Now (for ease of communication) let’s state…, that which we call energy constructs called thoughts, that which we call the sensations of imagination and memory, let’s call that ‘mind’. Some might say ‘Let’s even put emotion in there’. Now, some might say ‘Why do all of this? Just call everything which is phenomenal mind’. Can I say it like that? Even for Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] the mind contained everything; everything that you perceive is the mind. And sometimes he said ‘Mind is nothing but a bundle of thoughts’. So, the container and what it is containing, is just a theoretical concept that we’re using to define a particular boundary in this unlimited set of sensations. So, mind is not really an actual container, it is that intellectual concept we are using to ‘bucket’ a certain set of sensations within it.

Q:If we do away with all these different definitions of different kinds of senses even, and even the mind as another object? So, basically, the truth of the moment seems to be that there’s a stimulus and the entire set of things can be bunched into this some kind of stimulus and there’s a response.

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A:Stimulus. Whatever you call it, that’s also a stimulus. So, that’s why I don’t want to call it ‘stimulus and response’ because I want to say that everything which is phenomenal, both the stimulus and the response (let’s call it a perception or a sensation or basically a phenomenon) let’s just call it a phenomenon.

Q:So, I cannot define the so-called stimulus as me or the response as me, but the response is somehow, by default, identified as me.

A:Exactly. So, the same way as we’ve got these theoretical constructs now…, there are various ways, may other sensations, but we use some theoretical constructs about the body or the mind and we have defined them as buckets. We have one theoretical construct called the ‘me’ which we have taken to be the super-self of these two other theoretical concepts called ‘body and mind’. So, everything that is contained within this body, this mind, we have taken that to be me. But all three are theoretical concepts. There is no such thing, there is no such thing as the mind, there is no such thing as the body; even physically, it is just a set of atoms seemingly hanging together for some unknown reason (which the scientists also can’t tell you why they hang together).

So, these are the three theoretical concepts [body, mind, a ‘me’] on the basis of which we have the sense of individuality. Now, you’re absolutely right. The response that seems to come from this body or from this mind, or any of these sensations, we have labeled that and we’ve said ‘This is my response. Whatever is happening to me is coming from outside of me’. But as long as you can see that there is no direct experience of that, there is no insight of that; it is only a theoretical notion, then you can say things like ‘Oh, it sounds very irritating Advaita sometimes; everything was just a happening. There is no ‘me’ who is doing it, there is no ‘me’ who is not doing it; it is just a happening’. [Chuckles] You see? These kinds of things. Then people say ‘We find that you’re doing away with the theoretical notion of the ‘me’, doing away with the theoretical notion that there is a mind, doing away with the theoretical notion that there is a body’.

Everything is just a set of sensations. Nothing really divides anything. There is no boundary. Everything is experienced within this Existence.

So, stimulus and response; it’s phenomenal. I feel both are also theoretical constructs. Because it has somewhere the notion of cause and effect built into it. That’s what I’m saying. ‘This came, and therefore, that came’ is also just a notion, isn’t it? Because both are just happening, like the bird came and landed on the branch of the coconut tree and the coconut fell. Can you really say that it was the bird that made the coconut fall?

Q: So, stimulus and response as two different things is also another construct.

A: Another construct; it’s just a construct. Because everything is just….

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Q: Not one preceding another.

A:Yes. If you’re going to take a theoretical construct more generally, then both are just perceptions; both are just perceived. One could be perceived as a physical stimulus, the other could be an emotional response; different levels of energetic appearance, and yet, they’re just energetic appearances.

So, once you remove this cause and effect, then you are able to say ‘There is only one cause, which is Consciousness’.

So, this is what I am really meaning. (And I know I’ve gotten very technical and half of our audience might have dropped away.) But it is really important because we are now discovering what I’ve been speaking about: Insight vs. Inference.

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Insights vs. Inferences

Insight means: What is it that we are actually finding for ourself? We’ve Seen that there are a lot of perceptions that are being experienced, but if I don’t go with any interpretation of them, any inference about them …

Q: Should we not doubt our insights, Anantaji? Beyond a point, you cannot take them like that.

A:First, doubt your inferences. Then we’ll come to a point of whether anything that we’re having an insight about has ever happened or not. [Chuckles]

But what you can truly say (at least right now) is that your inferences have been complete fairy- tales and fantasies. Mostly, isn’t it? So, at least let’s start with dropping our inferences.

There will come a point that I will tell you that even all these insights that you are having about YourSelf: forget about it. [Laughter in the room] There will come a time, where like [Nisargadatta] Maharaj you say ‘I Am? There is no ‘I Am’. Forget about even Consciousness.’ Or he would say ‘Oh, the I Am infection. Are you suffering from it?’ But this, right now, where we are at in our sangha and everything, it is not that moment yet where I can share these kinds of things openly in that way.

So, for now, we’re leaving the tyranny, the misery, of this non-existent ego. As we are free from that, one day we will leave the realm of Consciousness also. We will See that actually, it never came. But there is time for that.

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The Person Seems to Be the Underlying Notion

This is a very important point you bring up; which is that when a thought comes, when the mind comes, it seems like the task which is assigned to it (by Consciousness itself, within Consciousness) is that this limited existence is actually a limited entity, is ‘the person’. We have gotten so used to this notion that this seems to have become the underlying notion in our life, that ‘I am a limited entity who is the body / mind’.

Now, as we are really checking ‘What is the boundary of my existence?’… we have not found it. We are not finding it. We are finding that within my Being, there is all of this whole perception which is happening but My Being remains untouched as space in all of this. So, nothing can actually can hurt me, nothing can touch me. The body can come and go, the thoughts can come and go, the emotions can come and go, but no residue also can be left in the space of where they came and went.

Everything in this world which is phenomenal is coming and going but it leaves no residue on Your Existence.

So, the mind comes and says that ‘Amongst all the millions of sensations that are appearing, there is a set of sensations which is you. You are the one that is sitting in this room; you are not the traffic on that street’. But with the innocence of an infant, this distinction is not there. Everything is a perception which is experienced, without the boundary of a ‘me’…, without the sense of ‘another’.

This is true oneness which doesn’t need the concept of oneness. I am not ‘being one’ with the traffic on the street; it’s just that no separation actually ever came. You see the distinction there? One is that I can try be one with everyone. (‘I am one with the sangha’…, like that.) The other is to See that ‘Okay, actually, there is no one here in that separate way. There is no boundary that I can define that is me’.

This is what you are finding for YourSelf when you check. In a minute of checking, You come coming into Your boundless nature. You have Seen that in Your Existence, Your Holy Being, all perceptions are coming and going. If we throw all theoretical constructs away and we remain in the openness and the nakedness of the perception itself, there is no ‘me’ or ‘other’. There is no past or future. And all that we defined as suffering just melts away.

This is why I have been saying: Stay with your insight. Stay with your insight. Don’t pick up any inference, any judgment, any notion about anything at all.

And this instruction also falls away fast, because once you start to See this about YourSelf, You don’t even have to stay with anything; even Your insights. You cannot leave. [Chuckles] It’s just the recognition of what is True. By pointing to the seeming ‘drop’ to check whether it is the drop

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of the ocean (and sometimes you will hear the term ‘Just stay as the ocean, don’t pick up the drop identity’) you will notice that ‘Actually, I can only ever be ocean’.

This is what You’re finding for YourSelf, that Your Being is this unbounded space beyond space; timeless beyond time. All this play of time and space can happen. Gazillions of years, trillions and trillions of years can be experienced, hundreds of thousands of thousands of lifetimes can be experienced. But nothing leaves a residue on Your Being in Reality; whatever memory might come, whatever imagination might come, whatever body You are presently experiencing and calling ‘my body. Millions of these [bodies] you can have; you have had. Right Now in Consciousness, in the apparent appearance of this world, You [Consciousness] have more than 6 billion bodies…, apparently.

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In Inquiry, Don´t Worry About the Answer at All

Q:When the question is posed saying ‘Do I exist?’ or any other question, it doesn’t even land in there. And after some time, mind comes to the rescue to answer the question.

A:So, don’t worry about the answer at all. When I say ‘‘Do you exist?’ and no answer is coming, don’t worry at all about it. You don’t have to produce the answer.

Q:I say that that’s happening with me, that when the question comes up, it’s not landing anywhere. And when the answer comes…

A:Don’t even have that presumption that it’s not landing. Because some of these are very primal things. If I say to you ‘Can you stop existing right now?’ you don’t have to do anything or not do anything. You don’t have to take a position with regards to that; whether it is landing or it is not landing. Sometimes, something will just land. And sometimes it just dissolves. So, don’t say ‘For me, it doesn’t land’.

Q: The problem with the inquiry for me is just that; it doesn’t land.

A:That’s what I’ve been saying recently, that once you ask the question, then don’t molest the question. [Laughter in the room] You see? This is what we do. We start the inquiry ‘Who am I? (such a simple inquiry; three words) then you molest it with ‘Is it landing? Am I getting it? Why don’t I get it? What am I seeing?’ Leave it.

Q: No answer comes.

A:Good! [Chuckles] Because the inquiry is not about the answer. That’s why I’ve been saying that this is a different type of classroom. Now, because our conditioning has been so strong that we have to answer and we have to answer first and we have to answer correctly, then all of this can be frustrating. ‘Oh, an answer is not coming.’

That’s why sometimes, when I say these things, it also so that you can relax a bit. If we add the idea that ‘I am something’ for millions and millions of years, if in 10 days or 10 months or 10 years it doesn’t seem clear what the answer to ‘Who am I?’ is, it’s completely fine. But at least that is a rehab from all this ‘I am something’.

‘I don’t know’ is good enough; is as empty as not filling the blank with something.

Don’t ever look down on the ‘I don’t know who I am’. In fact, there is a lot of integrity in that. In fact, many of the teachers who say ‘I don’t know who I am’…, those are the quite trustworthy compared to the ones that are saying ‘I Am This or I Am That’.

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With Eyes Closed, It’s Clear That Perception Is Within My Existence

Q:For the first time, I understood that the perceptions happen inside of me …, with eyes closed. But with my eyes open, it has not happened.

A:Play with this. Very good, play with this. And again, not in an exam sort of way, but as an experiment, in a playground, sort of way. What happens; eyes closed, eyes open? Play with it sometimes.

Q: Boundlessness is very easily understood with eyes closed.

A:It is true; undeniably true because the amount of attractive stimuli reduces 90% when the eyes are closed; otherwise there is so much stimulus. But actually, now that you have had that insight, now see what changes when eyes close. Isn’t it just the quantity of stimuli? But actually, nothing changed about where it is experienced. Just the quantity and the nature of it seem to change.

So, what I’m saying is…., you say ‘With my eyes closed, it is so apparent that all this perception

is happening within me’ so I’m saying now, when eyes are open, besides it being the quantity of stimuli, the nature of the stimuli, does something change about you or the perception or something like that?

Q:Suddenly, I feel I am this body…

A:So, validate that. Close your eyes. And just nod when you feel it’s clear that everything is happening within You. So, when it’s clear that this sound, which you’re hearing as my voice, is just a perception within Your own Being…, when that is clear, just nod your head. [Silence]

Clear. Now, gently open your eyes, and notice whether something really changed except that there is a lot more visual stimulus that is there. [Silence] Where is this voice now? Is it in the same place where it was when your eyes were closed? [Silence]

Just like this. It can feel like that because there is so much more stimulus. It can seem like there’s a ‘me’ and then ‘this outer world’. So, do this play in this way and see if you become clearer. It’s always been like this. It’s just that sometimes the quantity of the stimulus can make it feel like this. The mind can come and say ‘You can only deal with this much as yours’. You see?

Now, the Guru is saying ‘Everything is already Me’ and then it might sound funny to them when someone says ‘But I can’t give this to you. I already know it’s mine’. (I’m not speaking specifically now but) generally when it is said in Satsang that ‘I can’t give it to you’ it means that you’re holding on to a limited notion of yourself. The Master Knows already that it belongs to Their One Consciousness anyway. So, experiment with this; play with this. I’m happy to hear you saying that at least now with the eyes closed, it’s so clear; whatever perception is there is just within my Existence. Then just notice.

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Does Attention Play a Role in Recognizing the Primal Witness?

Q: Does attention have a role to play in the recognition of the primal witness?

A:The right answer is ‘No’ but there is a qualification to that answer. Now, when we are talking about the primal witness, that is beyond even play of attention, beyond even the play of existence. And yet, it is not that this primal witness has forgotten who it was, or is, and is coming to the recognition. Awareness has always been just aware. There is no play of losing recognition and coming to the recognition in that. So, from the perspective of the primal witness itself, no.

Now we have to really look at: What is coming to this recognition? It is this very Existence, this very Consciousness, which has played (that’s what we have discussed) using the thoughts; has played as if it’s a limited entity and now coming to Its recognition. So, what we have done so far is that we have brought the conversation to this level where we have seen that ‘I Am That I Am. I Am this Existence. And within this Existence, there is nothing that can hurt me, harm me, make me suffer, because that ‘I’ is the ‘I Am’ Itself’. Now, this is the end of most spiritual paths, to discover your God-like nature, to discover that You Are Consciousness. In some paths, then you come to see that: Even this ‘I Am’ …, there is an awareness of that.

Now, what is the role of attention in this? Attention is divested from phenomenal things and comes to rest in Existence, when the recognition of That which is even beyond Existence happens; which means that, from Here, even ‘I Am That I Am’ doesn’t sound like it is true. ‘I Am’ is recognizing that Its Source (where it comes from) is independent of even ‘I Am’. Therefore, the Source has never been confused, has never even played confused. But Consciousness has played as if ‘I am something’ and is now coming to the recognition that ‘I am even beyond ‘I Am’ …, just ‘I’. In that way, all ‘somethings’ are being dropped away.

So, attention plays a role only till the point where attention is brought to just this ‘I-Am-ness’ Itself. But as we ask the question ‘Who is aware of even this existence?’ you find that here there is no play of attention also. It’s a deeply, deeply, deeply intuitive insight which is beyond attention, beyond belief. Any phenomenal forces don’t function here.

So, attention works in conjunction with Consciousness. And Consciousness divests attention from all phenomenal things, and it comes to rest in the Self. In this ‘Am I aware?’ the divesting is happening from all phenomenal things. But we cannot even say (although conversationally sometimes we might say) that attention goes to Awareness. Actually, It is just resting; there is no play of attention here. Beyond attention, beyond time, beyond space, beyond belief is the primal recognition.

So, I hope we have clarified a little bit. Just to put it simply, the role that the attention seems to be given in the play of Self-recognition is that it is divested from all phenomenal objects. And in that moment of resting, the true insight, which is beyond even attention, is completely apparent.

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The Feeling of Falling in Inquiry is Still Within You

Q: It’s like falling into a bottomless pit when I do the Self-inquiry.

A:It can feel this; falling, falling, unlimited ocean. But you will find that there is nobody who is falling.

That which you seem to be falling into is actually That which You have always Been.

This is the recognition.

So far, because we’ve been conditioned to believe we are a limited object, as we are coming into the recognition, it can be interpreted or translated by the mind as if ‘I, a limited object, am falling into the unlimited ocean of myself.’ But actually, what You are finding is that You have always Been this unlimited ocean of YourSelf.

Ask yourself: Where is this unlimitedness?

(What did you say?) …, ‘this bottomless pit’?

Is this bottomless pit outside of You?

Can You fall anywhere which is not within YourSelf?

Only if you have the notion that you are a limited object.

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Are Awareness and Consciousness One?

Q: In what aspects are Awareness and Consciousness similar?

A:In what aspects are Awareness and Consciousness similar? They’re not just similar, actually, they are the same. They are One. It is just like there’s a moving part to the car and there’s a static part. Let’s say (as an example I like to use) there’s a hand and there’s a moving finger. Do you see a hand or a finger? This which is moving is Consciousness; this which is the unmoving (where Consciousness comes from) is Awareness. But actually, they are One.

That is why Consciousness is only a dynamic aspect of the same Self. It is another (you can say) theoretical construct. Just like we’ve created a theoretical construct called body / mind…, in the same way, this is a theoretical construct of Awareness and Consciousness to define the unmoving, the unchanging part, of the Self and to define the changing part; to define the quality- less Self, the ‘Nirguna’ Self…, and the quality, full of attributes, that is ‘Saguna’.

There’s a beautiful bhajan we used to sing at Ramesh’s house, which was ‘Tuja Saguna Mhano Ki Nirguna Re’ which means ‘How should I consider You? Saguna, full of qualities; or Nirguna, empty of all qualities and attributes?’ Then ‘Saguna Nirguna Eku Govindu Re’ which means (Govinda, of course, is a term for Krishna, the play of the absolute Self) ‘Whether with attributes or without attributes, there is only Self, one God, one Lord’.

That’s why terminologies can vary and that’s why it helps a lot if we are on the same page in terms of terminology so you know that the constructs that we are using to bring clarity will leave you empty of constructs. If they are not properly understood, then it can seem a bit confusing.

So, this is just the dynamic, the quality-aspect of the Self. Awareness is That which remains unchanging, irrespective of whether the play of qualities is playing or not and regardless of whatever play of qualities is happening.

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Whatever Limitation You Believe You Have Is Not True

Whatever you might be defining about yourself, whatever limit you might be believing you have, is not true. No matter how big you consider yourself to be, the Truth is bigger than that. No matter how much of a nothing you consider yourself to be, the truth is less nothing than that nothing. Because You are beyond all these attributes. That which we have considered ourselves to be has been false.

That’s why I say that the Master takes everything from you. Which means what? He is not interested in your phenomenal things, he is not interested in any worldly things that you could give, but every idea that you have believed about yourself ultimately is offered up at the altar of the Satguru. Even the offer-er is offered up.

I was chatting with someone and my wife about not making even the openness into a position. Even that is not something I am doing. Empty of all notions about yourself. You don’t even have to empty them out. Just naturally, in this moment, You are.

We have been doing this over and over again in the last week or so, where we saw that in this moment, what is Here? What is Here? What is your fundamental recognition about what is Here? [Silence] What is the basis for everything else?

So, you could say the Self is Here or God is Here or Satguru is Here. What is more valuable than that? Nothing is more valuable than that.

And yet, the power of our belief only operates in that way. We leave the arms of the Satguru and we feel like something is more important than that. Some limitation that you believe about yourself cannot be more important than Your God Presence.

The idea that’ I must do something’ is the idea that God cannot do it or God does not know what God is doing. The idea that ‘I must want it a certain way’ is the idea that God doesn’t know what I need to experience, isn’t it? Because if I leave it to this higher force which is running this world then I don’t know what I am going to get and that force might mess it up. [Chuckles]

So, as I was saying, the idea that ‘My experience must be different from what it is’ comes from where?

What is desire? Desire is this very same idea, isn’t it, that ‘The content of my present experience is not enough. It must include something else so that I get a feeling of being more complete, being more whatever, being more happy’. And yet, when you really look, in the effortlessness of the Right Now, are you are happy or unhappy?

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This is the human condition. We have picked up conditions about our happiness and then realized that ‘Actually, to be happy, I just need to drop these conditions. I will not find that happiness that I am looking for by picking up a new condition about how anything should be’. It’s just the mind trick. Because what is Here is beyond anything that you can imagine. And You Are That.

Now, if you pick up the idea ‘But I want to get it’ then that is also from that idea of desire. That’s why I have said that all confusion, all suffering, is basically this mistaken identity. If you see this much, it is enough for today’s satsang actually, that all confusion, all suffering, all grievances, are really only about this false mistaken identity that I believe myself to be. And that one is never here. So, we exchange what is Here naturally with an idea of who I am. ‘What should I do? What should I have?’ …, can only come from a mistaken idea of who I am. Once you find the clarity about this…

Where will you find it? You will not find it in the future and you will not find it on the basis of any past experience.

Where will you find YourSelf ?

Here and Now.

That Here and Now which is not in time.

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Unless You Pick Up a Notion of Something, Suffering is an Alien Concept

A theoretical construct cannot have a desire. Let me explain. She says ‘But it seems like the construct of the body and the construct of these thoughts has a particular desire’. And sometimes we use these words in Satsang, that the body/mind is the one that desires it. But what is body/mind? Body is a set of sensations and some visuals. Thoughts are also another set of sensations, energy constructs. Suppose you didn’t even have the notion of the body. Right now, some sensation is there. Sensation would be there, yes? And suppose you did not have the notion of mind; just some thoughts come and go. Now, what happens?

Q: Just some notions.

A:So, I’m saying we don’t create any notion of body, mind. There’s just a set of sensations; and sensations include that which we call thoughts. They are coming and going, these sensations.

Does it ever create a tangible entity called ‘the person’ or ‘the ego’?

Q:No, it doesn’t. But you were saying ‘What is it that has a desire?’ So, there’s no tangible entity but it seems like it’s playing; this body/mind performing activities in a particular circumstance, let’s say. So, this body/mind construct is projecting that desire?

A: It is Consciousness’ belief that ‘I am limited to this body/mind’.

Q: Yes.

A:Which means that it is Your belief because You are this Consciousness believing Itself to be limited in some way as the body/mind. But actually, for You, what is the True position of the body and the mind?

Q: Just appearances.

A:Just appearances. So, if it is clear that they are appearances and I am the unchanging One …, now, what happened?

Q: Something comes, but it’s some resistance.

A:Yes, but what does it mean by resistance?

Q:Desire to have it a particular way.

A:Yes. Can that desire seem valid from Your True position? [Silence]

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It’s only when we consider ourself to be limited in some way, contained in the body/mind, that a desire can make sense. [Silence] Name a desire. Either I’m right or there is a ‘but…’ therefore it is the ‘but…’ which still has power.

Now, if pain is there, and it is left unsupported by any interpretation or any resistance like the idea that it should not be there, how much space within You it is taking? Even this very large pain (which can seem so large right now in this situation) can you actually check: How much of the space is it taking up? Just look and tell me. Don’t be in denial of the pain, accept it, allow it, completely open to it. But just see if you can find this actual strength in just the pain by itself? Who is it overwhelming?

So, suppose pain is experienced. Suppose pain is experienced in the heart or something. It’s not the physical heart, it’s like the emotional heart. But either physical or emotional is contained within the same space of Consciousness. Are you finding this? What are the limits of this space? If you want to be reckless and say ‘Even if more came, this pain, how much more has to come to overwhelm this space? …, before you run out of space?

Q: I feel some fear.

A: So, they came together. Two friends are there in the playground. How big is the playground?

Q: It doesn’t have any size.

A:It doesn’t have size. So, if everything was multiplied a few hundred times, is it too much? Or for You, in Reality, it continues to be just a speck?

As you remain with your insight and check really for what it is, you will find that Your Being is infinite. That’s why the Master says ‘If I could take the entire pain from all my children (in fact, not just my children) if I could take the entire humanity’s pain, it would be no trouble. Because in the recognition of this infinite Being, in this it is Seen that none of this can hurt the Reality of My Being’.

So, this Being Itself is unlimited. Once we lose the notion that ‘It is contained within this body’ You’re starting to find Your True Being.

[Silence]

And then, You will See that for That who is aware of this Being, in That which is aware of even this Being, for That (although no spatial comparison can be made nor does any metaphor really work) we can say that even this Being is just a speck of light compared to the Absolute You, to the Eternal You.

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The dynamic aspect [Consciousness] is just an aspect, and yet, the dynamic aspect Itself can contain the entire universe (does contain the entire universe). What must You be? You are this Shiva.

[Silence]

Now, this Shiva wanted to be entertained. And in some parts of the play, it can seem like they’re not so entertaining. [Chuckles] Shiva wanted to be entertained, okay? See if you can recognize this story about YourSelf. It is not fiction, actually. [Chuckles] (It is fiction to the extent that, to Shiva actually, we cannot even use the word ‘entertainment’. But that much leeway we will take.)

So, Shiva wanted to be entertained. Now, this Shiva is ‘All There Is’. Everything! And that ‘All There Is’ is just an aspect of It. Now, Shiva said ‘I am All There Is. Now, how to play? How to be entertained? If I continue to see that ‘I am All There Is’ and actually, in Reality, I am beyond even that, then how can I bring some drama into my life?’

What would you have to do? First you would have to believe that You are not the unlimited One. As long as You are the unlimited One, there’s no possibility of this kind of play. So, first we must believe ourself to be something which has a boundary, something which has a limitation. Now, whether you’re ready for this or not: You Are Shiva! Right Now, You Are Shiva! [Silence]

You Are Shiva; now play…

You cannot play without a notion about YourSelf.

You Are Shiva Now. You cannot have a grievance, you cannot have a regret, you cannot have pride, you cannot have specialness, you cannot have remorse, you cannot have guilt. You cannot have anything that we describe as suffering unless you pick up a notion about YourSelf.

No pain is too much for You; no pleasure makes You attached to it. All is allowed to come and go.

It is True! How can I say these things? Because I See this, and we are One…, just playing as if we are separate.

Now, Shiva, tell me, without a notion about YourSelf, what to do with you?

Notion-less-ly, do you exist? Or not?

Is your existence here? Or not?

Is your perception functioning normally? Or not?

Sounds are being heard.

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Visuals are being seen. Existence is just effortlessly here. Effortlessly, Your existence is here,

and all that is called the natural functioning of life is functioning.

Now, what do You need a notion for?

To run Your life?

Your life isn’t running at this moment?

Breath isn’t happening?

Heart isn’t beating?

If food is needed, it will show up.

Try it!

You can’t try it with a sense of arrogance; then God will make sure it doesn’t show up. [Chuckles] But if you leave it alone, then whatever is needed for God’s own sustenance of God has to show up, because all is in service to God. But if you try to make it a trick from your individuality, then it is not a cheat code in this way.

You are aware of your Existence.

This Awareness is the Absolute.

There is no person sitting there.

Is the one that has to do something sitting there?

Is the one that wants something sitting there?

Nothing is there except Your very Existence which contains all things. Two moments of checking will make this completely apparent to you; if you check without a pre-conceived notion that ‘This is too much. I must be something contained in this body, but how can the world be within me?’ If you’re playing with all these concepts then it can seem to take longer. But ultimately, all these concepts will be discarded. If you just check, you will find that like the entire dream is contained within You, all this that you’re perceiving is also contained within You. All that you used to define as your limit is now being Seen as false.

If you still have a notion about ‘you’ then it can seem like a very strange concept. ‘But how can everything be within my body?’ I’m not saying that it is within your body. It is your body sensations which are also experienced within Your Being, within Your Existence.

Where are these words being heard? Where is the sound of the traffic being heard? Same place as the body is being experienced. And You are aware of this. Can any content in this come and make a scratch on this Awareness? No matter how strong a fire it is, how sharp a sword it is, can it leave any residue on That which is aware of Your Existence?

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[Silence]

Now, don’t try to be That. Because if you try to be That, you first invent something which is not- that.

If you want to try something, try to leave That.

Don’t be aware.

Leave Awareness aside.

Who can do it?

[Silence]

Only This, you cannot leave. Even Your very sense of Existence, Being, will be left aside when You are done with the experience of Existence. But That which witnesses (the Primal Witnessing) …, That does not come and go.

[Silence]

But what drama is here? Nothing. I cannot be hurt, I cannot be scratched, I cannot be dented, I cannot have any attribute about MySelf in Reality. For any of this, first I must exist. Existence comes, so ‘I Am’…, ‘I’ playing as ‘I Am’. Then, no trouble even now.

If you had no ability to attach anything to YourSelf (‘I am something’) …, if that was not a possibility, if you could not say ‘I am the body, I am my name, I am anything’ then also show me any trouble. You could not attach ‘I am something’ and you could not attach ‘I am nothing’ also. Nothing you can attach.

First, You must pose as something, You must put on the mask of something, the pretense of something; only then a trouble can seem real.

I know I’ve spoken for one hour already, but just stay with me on this point and tell me whether you See it or not:

Unless I pick up the idea that I am something, suffering is an alien concept.

This much is Seen? This is the main point in Satsang. Because, in this, the Truth is also apparent.

So, as You are Seeing this, don’t worry about the Absolute. It is not going anywhere. Just notice this much about yourself; that unless I pick up the idea that I am something (which is usually the idea ‘I am the body’ or is usually the idea that ‘I am the body/mind’) unless I have this premise, this basic notion, no other notion can trouble me.

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So, no money in the bank? Unless you have this notion that you are this body/mind, can it trouble you? No partner in life? Or a terrible partner; not good enough? Unless you are the body/mind, can this notion trouble you? Not finding freedom? Not coming to freedom? Not finding enlightenment? Or even the favorite one, which is ‘I See it, but I can’t stay in it; I have to stay in it’. Not being able to do that; can it trouble you unless you have the notion that you are a body/mind? God is not being able to stay in it? [Chuckles] You see? So, there must be a limited notion that God is playing with…, before you can pick up any other notion which seems to be causing any trouble.

That is why this is direct Satsang, where we attack this notion that ‘you are something’ directly; without getting into the ‘whatever’ the seeming trouble might be…, because we know that actually the only trouble is this.

So, now you have this infection ‘I am something’. What to do? Suppose you have this infection ‘I am something. I am the body/mind.’ What to do? Now, you’re unraveling the entirety of spirituality. Considering that you have this notion, the Sages have said ‘Either surrender it, or inquire into it…, or both’.

Now, whatever you consider yourself to be, hand it over, this moment. Whatever that something might be, just leave it here. That is called surrender. Some who are of a devotional temperament, some who are open in that way, will say ‘Yes, done, forgotten, gone’.

Some who are not of this temperament say ‘No, no, but it is too sticky. I end up believing it over and over’. Those can do the inquiry.

‘I am something?’

‘Who is the ‘I’ that is something?’

‘I am not good enough for freedom.’

‘Who is the ‘I’ which is not good enough for freedom?’

If you pop the grenade of this question in your Being and then you leave this question unmolested (unmolested by your expectations, unmolested by what should happen, unmolested by ‘Are we there yet?’) you will find that it will clean up. This grenade will explode everything that you’re holding on to.

Then you will find that, whether it was the seeming-surrender or whether it was the seeming- inquiry, it is just this notion ‘I am something’ which was dropped away, and just ‘I Am’ remains.

[Silence]

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Now, if surrender or self-inquiry both don’t seem to be it, if there’s no resonance happening with that, then some different methods can be prescribed, like mantra, like hatha yoga; all these paths can be prescribed. But that’s not usually what happens in our Satsang. Here the feeling is to more share about this. So, you find most of what is here in Satsang is surrender, and a lot of it is about inquiry. And a little bit can seem like it’s about that.

But actually, it is just about removing this notion of something and Seeing that this Being is completely complete. It is That which is the container of the universe. You are not contained in It. And ultimately, You will See that even Being is a coming and going. The Reality of what I Am is even before ‘I Am’.

Nothing has to be done here. As You drop the notion of ‘something’ then even this absolute Truth is apparent to You.

[Silence]

And the best, best, best news, is that in this moment, completely fresh, if I don’t give you a moment to think about it, You are not something.

And when I do give you moment to think about it, what is the mind usually saying? ‘But…’ [Chuckles] That is called a doubt. At some point, something moves away from these petty doubts of the mind. And You allow YourSelf to taste Your own magnificent Being.

That is why to You I say: Don’t exchange Your magnificent Being for any idea about YourSelf. No matter how good it sounds.

That is it. That is spirituality.

Now, if to remove that ‘something’ you are just bringing your attention to your breath all the time (that which the Buddhists might call mindfulness) or you’re chanting a mantra or you’re doing some other practice, it’s all about this. Because all the Sages, no matter which path they have taken, have found that the only way for suffering to come is to first pick up the notion that ‘I am something’.

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What Is It That You Are?

The ego is basically a presumption. Isn’t it? It’s a presumption which is very popular but just because it is very popular doesn’t make it true. Just like there was a popular notion some centuries ago that the world is flat. But just because it is a popular notion doesn’t make it true.

You actually have had no experience of the ego. You have never experienced your separation. You have only presumed it. This is very important to be shared, otherwise you might get stuck in the idea that ‘I am a separate person who needs to come to my God-Presence or who needs to become the Self’. But these things are not true.

What is your direct experience right now? It’s not that you are a person. The experience right now includes the experience of the body, the sensations of this which we call the body; a set of sensations actually. But just because a certain set of sensations is experienced, it doesn’t make You that.

What is it that You are, in this very moment? Where can we go for the answer? Where will you answer this from? If you go to the mind, the mind says ‘Of course, you’re the body. What are you? You’re just a body. Don’t try to be God or something’. If you go to your friends and relatives, mostly they will say that you are this person, this body. If you go to emotions, the emotions will again be interpreted as if you are a limited entity. If anger is arising, they will say ‘You shouldn’t be angry’. If lust is arising, ‘No, no, you’re supposed to be spiritual. Lust should not arise for you’. But what is the ‘you’ in that? It is, again, the limited identity. So, mind, you cannot go to. Outside, you cannot go to. Emotion you cannot go to. Pain and pleasure in the body, you cannot go to. What is left? Besides these things, is there something?

Often, I use this example: Suppose we were to put everything that is changing in a basket. You are outside the basket? Or inside the basket? Inside the basket, we’re putting the changeful. So, all that changes goes in the basket.

The world?

Sangha: Inside.

A:Body? Sangha: Inside.

A:Thoughts, mind. Sangha: Inside.

A:Emotions? Sangha: Inside.

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A:Pain and pleasure? Sangha: Inside.

A: Anything left? What is not inside now? Have you gone inside?

Sangha: I couldn’t put myself inside.

A:Why? She says ‘I couldn’t put myself inside’. Why? So, everything that is changing, we put inside. So, what is left outside? Is that changing? Or unchanging?

Sangha: Unchanging.

A:Now, is this an inference? Is this something you’re presuming? ‘Oh, there must be an ‘I’ which is unchanging so I’m leaving it outside.’ Or, is this your insight? What about the seeing?

Sangha: Seeing is still there.

A:Seeing is still there. Is this changing? Or unchanging? Sangha: Unchanging.

A: Unchanging. As long as ‘I Am’ this perceiving is still there.

Now, what about That which is aware of this seeing? Are you aware of it?

Sangha: Seeing is here. But I’m not sure if I’m awareness.

A: Yes. So, you don’t know whether you are that awareness. Is that the question?

Where did we come to? We saw that there is awareness of it. But ‘I don’t know if I’m aware’ because this ‘I’ itself is. And yet, if I said ‘This is not directly speaking from insight. It was she who had that experience but she just referred to an idea’. You’d say ‘No, no, it’s direct’. Is it?

So, it is You, but you don’t know that You. That You is unfamiliar to you. So, you are neither able to call it ‘somebody else’ nor are you able to call it ‘I’. Isn’t it? You’re not saying it’s somebody else’s. But you’re saying ‘Is it really I?’

Why is there that confusion? It is only because (so far, in the past, before coming to Satsang) …, where have we used the ‘I’? For the changing? Or the unchanging?

Sangha: The changing.

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A:Now we’re listening to what the Sage has said. ‘The world, the universe, keeps changing. I remain as the solitary witness.’ So, now we are taking the Sage’s word for it and using it in our investigation, saying ‘Okay, everything that changes can come and go; but something witnesses it. Now, do I remain with the witness? Or do I go along with the changing?’

So, if you cannot come and go with everything that comes and goes, You must be the unchanging one. And, from our insight, what are we finding as the unchanging one?

Sangha: Awareness.

A: This Awareness. This Awareness.

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Without the Labeler, Who Are You?

A:You say that ‘This body is also me’. Now, why is that body you and this body not you?

Q:That’s precisely my question.

A:If you did not have the labeler, who is coming and saying ‘me, me, me; you, you, you’…, who is not labeling anything…, like for a child, an infant (you have a small baby) they don’t have this distinction until a particular age. Like, I take this example often; whether it’s the hand or toy, it makes no distinction for them. They are happy playing with the hand. We don’t have to tell them ‘Just play with the toy’ or something. So, they don’t have this idea of ‘me’ as separate.

So, can you be something which needs an idea to exist?

Q: No.

A:So, independent of this idea, of a label, what are you now?

Q:I am This. I am all of This.

A:All of which? Only a particular aspect of this, or all of this?

Q:All of this. I mean, not all of this, but whatever IS.

A:Yes, what is defining that boundary line? This is you [points to questioner’s body] but not just this [spreads arms to include all in the room] …, all of this.

Q: How can I verify that?

A:Yes. That’s what we are doing now by Seeing that if this is an experience [points to his own body] and even that is an experience [points to questioner’s body] then what makes it ‘me or my experience’ verses that of another? How is it that all of this…, if I can have all of this in a dream and all of that is me in a dream (we accept that, when we come to this waking state) then how is it that when this seeming-state comes and the mind says ‘But this body is you, this name is you’ that we so easily accept that? Now, this voice that you are hearing, is it not being heard in the same space (as a sensation) as that which you call your body is being experienced?

Q: Yes.

A:It’s in the same space. Is there a boundary line between the experience of that body and this voice in that space?

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Q: No.

A:So, right now, we can see that unless I went to the support of this labeler which has labeled this as ‘me’ and ‘you as another’ then this distinction wouldn’t be there.

Q:But do we need to label them to make a distinction?

A:Yes.

Q:Is that not an experience?

A:No. We have learned this and our habit has become to interpret the experience as if it is an experience of separation. Actually, the separation has never happened. Now, you say that ‘It seems to me that these sensations of the body are very intimate and naturally it seems like this must be me.’ Okay, fine. Now, of your last five problems, how many have been about body?

Q: None.

A: None of them been about the body. So, if you are the body, whose problems are those?

If you say, for example (what the usual problems are) ‘I should have more money in the bank.’ If you are the body, what do you know about the money?

Q: Nothing.

A:Nothing. So, how can you have that money problem? You could have a problem which says that ‘I wish I had the perfect partner who would understand me.’ Now, does the body care about this kind of understanding? Or no?

Q: No.

A:No. So, who is that one? The beauty of what I am sharing is that even if you consider yourself to be the body, this one (the ego) is still not there; the one who cares about relationship, the one who cares about the money and the same one who cares about freedom also. So, I say that the body identification actually (although it is not true from my direct experience) but actually, it is much maligned. Even if you consider yourself as a body, you would not have all this trouble. It is because you consider yourself to be the owner of the body; the same one that is the owner of the money, the same one which is owner of the relationship, and the same one who is the seeker of freedom…, that one is the trouble. And that one is just an imagination; like an imaginary cat who is searching for its next bowl of milk.

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So, if this is Seen, then you say ‘Okay, that one is imaginary but which one is true? If that one is imaginary, how can I find the real Me?’

Now, if you are looking for a solid definition of Real, can it be something which is changing, changing all the time? If this wall, I was painting it black, blue yellow green; everyday it was changing and then you were saying ‘Okay, what is really the color of the wall?’ What would be the answer? There can be no answer.

So, it must be the Unchanging One that we can call Real. If God itself was changing all the time, then how could you find that? So, the search is for that which remains unchanging; because we are looking for stability.

Q: Can you talk more about ‘the unchanging’?

A:Yes. What is the trouble? The trouble is that we had various beliefs about ourselves and they have been changing so we are not finding stability. We have had various ideas about how much I should have, which partner I should have, how should I live my life. But if we had one consistent idea, we would have just gotten that and been happy. But these ideas keep changing.

So, nothing in the phenomenal world has given us that sense of stability, unchanging-ness. And yet it is not an alien concept. Like, if I tell you there’s a 25-color rainbow; there is not. So, when I say unchanging, something recognizes what ‘unchanging’ could be. Yet, in phenomena, have you had the experience of that? Something deeper, intuitively, has a knowingness about this unchanging-ness. And usually you come to Satsang because you are tired of attaching to that which is changing. You attach to this, you attach to that, but you could not keep it; or the idea of what you want is itself changing. That causes suffering. So, we come to Satsang because we got tired of the changing, and we are looking for that which is unchanging.

Now, this is an exploration to see whether there is something which is unchanging or not.

So, it’s a real-life exploration. We can have various hypothesis. I can propose something, but you are not just meant to buy the answer so I am glad you are bringing this question. You are saying that ‘You say that You Are Awareness; that it is my experience. But it doesn’t seem like my experience.’ So, this is what we are checking.

It seems like our longing now is to find That which is unchanging because we are done with that which is changing because so much suffering comes because of that. We want to now go beyond that.

So, let’s have this exploration; and this is exactly what we were doing in using the basket metaphor. Although it’s a simple one, it’s an extremely powerful one. So, the world is changing, body is changing, thoughts are changing, emotions are changing: what witnesses all of this?

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The same one which has witnessed many bodies (this which we call the waking body, that which we call the dream body; the same one which had the dream body, which has not a single cell in common with this one) …, what is that?

Now, the thought will bring knowledge to you; it will bring something which you think is scientific or something like this. But we are going beyond that and staying with our direct experience.

What can we say about this state; this which call the waking state? Is it a constant?

Q: It’s not constant.

A:It’s not constant, no? Now, will this body be able to escape this waking state and join you in your dreamless sleep?

Q:It just doesn’t sound… [Laughs]

A:[Laughs] Maybe because I have phrased the question that way. But the fact is that as you come to the dreamless state, is there anything there, including this body?

Q: No.

A:Who knows this? [Silence] If there is nothing there, then who would be there to know that there is nothing? That itself must be not a ‘thing’. If there is no-thing there, then That which witnesses that there is no-thing there must itself not be a thing. Isn’t it?

Q: Yes.

A:So, if you say that ‘I had waking state, I had dream state, I had sleep state’ YOU would have to be the constant through the states, isn’t it? Because you say ‘I had this, I had this, I had this.’ So, You are the one constant. The waking state takes everything that the waking state has and goes away; the dream state comes and this entire other world can appear and when the dream state goes, everything in that goes away. Then the deep sleep state comes, where there is nothing. And yet, You remain…, but not as a thing. Now, when the waking state came, did you become a thing?

[Silence]

This is very important. We are not presuming anything

Q: Yeah, I am just checking.

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A:Yeah, so we are just checking. From this no-thing, all things have come. And you rightly say ‘It seems like I get infused in that’. So, all this is made up of Me and yet That which is fully full (in spite of the appearances) of the manifest fullness…, nothing happens to That.

What You Are in your sleep state is not affected by the appearance of this waking state; what You Are is unaffected by the dream state also. All these states are changing, coming and going.

So, what will happen is that when this waking state comes, there is this mind which tries to tell you that you are just an object of the waking state. But actually, You saw that the entire state came from within You. It is Your own power which is manifesting as this waking state. But this voice will come and tell you that ‘The waking state is not in you; you are an object in the waking state.’ Now, without that, we will See that in all of this, there is no separate me. There are ‘no two’ …, that’s why it is Advaita (not-two).

There is no qualitative or quantitative difference between a dream and that which we call the waking state. Actually, there’s only one; dream state / waking state. It’s just that this seems so intimate and real that we hesitate to call this a dream. And it’s okay; we don’t have to force that.

The main point in the beginning is that, even in this waking state, when I look for the one who could have the problems about money, relationships, even health of the body; that we do not find. And if we do not find that one, then we See that it has just been a belief; an idea that I believe about myself.

But Right Now, are you empty of that belief also…, until you thought about it. Now, in this moment, you are empty of even that belief. Now that you are thinking about it; now the belief can come back. This is the magic. God is God. Now, God can use Its thoughts to pretend as if It is [the limited idea of] ‘you’.

Now, you say that even this appearance is Me. I am that full; so, everything that comes must also be Me. There is nothing else. There is only Awareness in that which we call dreamless sleep or deep sleep state. There is only Awareness; there is no-thing. Therefore, that is the sum and substance of everything. Then, if something comes, what must that something be made up of?

Q: Me.

A:Same. So, whether it is a manifest aspect which is experienceable in a way, that also must be made up of same Awareness. Just because something is moving…, just because our finger is moving doesn’t mean that it ceases to be the hand. It’s still the hand. So, it is Awareness Itself, the Self Itself, which is manifesting Itself as Consciousness (for which usually, we use the label God). Now, it is this God (or the manifest aspect, the Saguna aspect, the one with attribute- aspects of the Self) which we call Consciousness.

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So, this Consciousness is what? It’s the Self alone. But It has a qualitative feel, as if It is manifesting as I Am; I playing as I Am. Now, simply ‘I Am’ …, no trouble. What is the root of all trouble? In simply ‘I Am’ … there is no trouble. That’s Atma, Consciousness. But you are saying that ‘I am the James Bond character’.

Actually, now You are Seeing that the entire game came from within You. The entire play not only came from within You, but continuous to just bubble around in Your own Being. But within this, there comes this very intimate set of sensations called the body, this intimate set of sensations called thoughts; and we have taken this set of sensations and made a theoretical construct called the body/mind, which we call the ego or the person. It’s just a theoretical construct.

All these sensations are independent. They just have one cause, which is Consciousness. We start from Consciousness, end in Consciousness, are made of Consciousness. There is only Consciousness. And yet, in the appearance, Consciousness has given Itself the ability to take these constructs and make a notion around them. Like, there is no sky. We have a theoretical notion of sky. Is there something real like sky? There is no sky. It’s a construct which is made up of that space, in which clouds can be there, that space in which we can view the stars, but there is no substance like ‘the sky’. In the same way, there is no substance like ‘the person’. It is just a theoretical notion. The ego is just a theoretical construct. There is, in fact, no ‘mind’. It’s just that we have taken the set of sensations called thoughts, imagination, memory and put it together into one theoretical notion called ‘mind’. In fact, (you know where I am going) there is no such thing as the body also. We have taken all these various sensations (leg sensations, knee sensations, arm sensations) and made one collective construct (and visual sensations, which seem to have this continuity) into one construct called ‘the body’. But all has only been Consciousness.

Q: Yeah, it’s just like a dream state where we become the body. It’s not, actually.

A:Exactly. So now, that is why the Sages have given us these clues. They have seen through this maya, this realm of the changing, and come to that discovery of the Truth…, and then said ‘Okay, in the play, everyone need some clues.’ So, what are the scriptures? What is the Ashtavakra Geeta? It’s a set of clues; how do you find this? Because actually, directly, you cannot point to it. I cannot take you (that which is out of space) by pointing ‘this way, this way’ (pointing that way in space). I have to take you beyond space. So, then that ‘beyond space’ itself becomes a clue, it becomes a pointer. I cannot tell you that which is timeless by telling you that you will find it in the future or you had it in the past. I have to take you beyond time. But I cannot take you phenomenally beyond time. I can just point to your Source: Where does even this Consciousness come from? Is That beyond time and space? So, these clues are to be used like this.

Q: What, in this seeming waking state, stops me from verifying what you said?

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A:It’s the habit of going with our conditioning. That is why we have Satsang every day; to break that habit of conditioning which reinforces the idea that ‘You are a person, you are a person, you are a person; these are your goal, this is your life, this is what you should do, you have to be like this, you have to do like this’. This constant commentary is on. And our predisposition has become that we believe this commentary. Then we need to have the opposite of that also, which is pointing You to Your timeless nature, to Your space-less nature, and reminding You that when you really check, You don’t find the one that the mind is talking to.

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The Root of All Confusion is Who I Am

All suffering is a form of confusion. If you are not confused, you cannot suffer. And what is this confusion? You will find that at the root of all confusion is confusion about who I am. As you are becoming clearer about who You are, you will find it more and more difficult to be confused and therefore to suffer. What makes us suffer? Let’s take an example. If I have a grievance against you, I’m suffering. You might not even know it, but my grievance makes me suffer. So, what’s a grievance? The idea that somebody did something to me that they should not have done. ‘Why do you come to Satsang and not listen properly?’ [Chuckles] So, the idea that I could believe in, which says that you are an individual doer and I’m an individual experiencer of your doing, can cause this idea of grievance and I’m suffering from that. But once it’s Seen that all is a movement of Consciousness, all is the movement in the ocean of Consciousness, all waves in one Being, then who is to hold this grievance against whom? If there are no-two, if there is only One, only God is, then who is doing what to whom?

So, grievances, resentment. There are other things I can suffer from. Pride. ‘I’m speaking really well today. Really good.’ So, the idea that I’m an individual entity who’s taking a particular action…, which is a lie, because these words are just emerging. From the same ocean of Consciousness, these words emerge. Then I make a limited notion about myself, that ‘I’m an entity who is doing this well’ or is saying this well; then pride can come, specialness can come.

So, all that we call suffering is basically a collection of all of these things; like resentment, grievances, pride, specialness, arrogance. All of these things collectively we called suffering. And at the root of all of this is a mistaken identity, a mistaken idea that ‘I am some-thing, I am some-thing which is doing and experiencing everything’. And ultimately, You See that You are no-thing. ‘All that is everything’ is also emerging within You…, but You are that ‘no-thing’ from which all things come. And as you are Seeing this more and more every day, then what can you hold on to? Which idea of suffering can you have?

Let’s take the suffering of the seeker, who is saying ‘Yes, I haven’t yet got it. I want it. How come this one who came yesterday, he came and he got it, but I’ve been coming to Satsang for four years, ten years, twenty years?’ You see? So, what is the root of the ‘I’ in that? You are still considering yourself to be an individual body/mind; who can never get it. The body-mind is just an appearance, just a wave in the same ocean of Consciousness. So, there is nothing which that can get; a thought will not get it, a set of sensations that we called the body will not get it. That which You have always been is (in the play) coming to Its own recognition of Itself.

If you consider yourself to be an object within time, then you will also have a lot of this confusion. ‘I saw that yesterday; I saw yesterday that I’m Awareness but today I lost it.’ It is not true. Right Now, what You are Seeing is the Truth. What you are interpreting is the false (it’s false because it’s a limited idea about YourSelf).

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So, I trust what you are Seeing, not what you are saying. Because what you are saying is often colored, mostly colored, by the limited mind: the mind which is selling you this idea of your limitation. That’s why in Satsang more and more I’m saying: Stay with your insight, rather than your inference.

If, like a little child, you are able to just even report…, if you are doing the inquiry together, if you are reporting just what you are Seeing. ‘I’m seeing the world, Father. I’m seeing or experiencing this body.’ So, I say ‘Who Sees all of this?’ You say ‘I am. I am Seeing’. And I say ‘Who’s aware of this ‘I Am’?’ If you don’t use any prior knowledge, this Truth is apparent: It is I who is aware, but this ‘I’ is not an object; it’s not in time and space.

So, let all knowledge come and go, you don’t rely on it. You are Seeing this about YourSelf Right Now. You don’t need to wait for an awakening experience. This is Your moment of awakening, without it having to be an experience or something. Whatever the experience might be, You Are That, You Are This.

You don’t have to take a step. You don’t have to move an inch. Or movements can happen, but Your nature remains unchanged. All the clues are there, all the pointings are there. In this moment, You are Seeing Your Truth. You are not buying the ‘but…’ from the mind. And whether there is a ‘but…’ or not, You are still Seeing the Truth. All experiences are within You. Don’t buy the false story of your boundary from the mind; this is the addiction.

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At My Father´s Feet Is No Room For ‘You’

Let’s take an example of this confusion. He says, “Father, the nastiness of my personhood is a fact. I can’t off-load this as an excuse to God.”

Now the ‘I’ in this must be coming from a limited notion about yourself who can then outsource this problem to God or not.

As long as you have this (nothing needs to be said after this) …, as long as you have this notion that you are this ‘I’ that can outsource it to God or off-load it to God or to surrender it at the feet of my Master, do it. Otherwise you are not listening. If you retain it with your individuality, the mind is only going to mix more and more muck into it. If you offer it up truly from your heart then it’s going to be burnt up.

Just drop it. Nothing belongs to you because you yourself are not a real entity.

Then all these afflictions, need for attention, need for approval, need for something, will start to feel funny. You will look at them and you wonder how they were given space, how Consciousness wanted to play with these for so long. But as long as you feel you want something and you want to deal with it yourself, you’re giving more and more belief to your individual identity.

At my Father’s feet, there is no room for ‘you’.

Once you surrender there, then only my father’s feet are.

Only Your Holy Presence is Present.

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From Openness to Trust to Devotion

Q: Trust is a big issue. Could you speak about trust?

A:So, I can speak about trust a little bit from the Satsang perspective to begin with, and if it is another perspective that you are looking for, you can tell me that after I finish speaking about it from the Satsang perspective.

What I say initially is that when you come to Satsang, you don’t even need that which we call ‘trust’. What we do need is a little bit of openness. Openness means? That which is being shared here, that this can be inquired into or checked here. This is the play of Satsang, isn’t it? Some sharing is happening here (because what is happening energetically, that is happening anyway) but some sharing is happening. I’m saying ‘Check if there is a person sitting there’. Now, this much openness: that it is being suggested to check if there is a person sitting here; and we check. Just this sliver of openness is enough. Then you will find that the insights that are being shared from here start to resonate with the insights that you are having about yourself. Then, that which we call ‘trust’ starts to develop. So, this is the development of trust.

Then you say ‘Okay, all these pointings (Don’t believe your next thought. Can you stop being? Are you aware now?) all these are bringing me to my direct insight about myself. What am I? I am not an object’. You see? So, in this way, trust in developing. And with the developing of trust, what happens is along the way (as you are going to find more and more, this insight coming to you) you will find that this trust gets mixed with love. Love starts to arise. And when this trust is mixed with love, that is what we call devotion. It starts with a little bit of openness, and becomes trust when you See ‘Oh, this is actually quite easy; this is quite possible. I can check like this’. Some trust comes. When that trust develops, and more and more you See that these insights are naturally coming here, then you will see that some love starts to arise. So, it is this trust mixed with this love which is that which we call ‘devotion’. In Satsang, it is this journey, this play of this journey of openness to trust to devotion.

So, this is from the Satsang context. When you start, you don’t have to necessarily trust me. But there must be some openness, at least to begin with, otherwise it’s just seemingly-blocked. So, if openness is there, then you will see that trust will come; and when trust is there, you will see that devotion will come. You don’t have to work towards any of this.

What do I mean by ‘that little bit of openness’? If I’m saying ‘Just look; go with your insight. Don’t trust your inference or your mental, conceptual judgment’ …, then if the mind comes and says ‘No, no, no. What is insight? Isn’t that another thought? Does he really know what he’s talking about? This doesn’t work for me’ …, all this kind of resistance will come. If we go with this kind of judgment, then we’re not yet open to this form of direct pointing. So, what is needed is just one thing. If you’re open to hearing one thing in any Satsang, that much is enough for me…, enough of a foot-hold. These are the words which are arising about trust at the moment.

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Being is Returning to Being

The highest Being that you will ever encounter is Your own Being, Right Now.

[Silence]

Your own Being, Your own Presence, is completely complete.

There is nowhere to go, nothing greater that you will find.

[Silence]

All experiences are nothing compared to this Being. They are just glimmers of light and sound within Your Being. You don’t have to go clamoring about any experience whatsoever.

[Silence]

Taste Your Presence. This is Your Atma. This is Consciousness.

[Silence]

This is what is naturally situated in Your Heart altar, naturally present in your inner citadel.

[Silence]

That which has a name, that which has a form, has never been here. Just a play of light and sound, coming and going. It has no meaning, no reality, for the Reality of You.

So, in this seeming-journey from head to Heart, this is what is changing. We’re changing, exchanging, that which is limited, which has a birth, which has a duration, which has death, for That which is timeless, unchanging, unborn, undying.

What a gift you are giving to YourSelf! Your own Being! Being is returning to Its own Being. The mask is being thrown away, the pretenses are now falling; some are falling naturally, some are falling with tantrums, some are falling all different ways. But falling they are. [Chuckles] If you’re in Satsang with this openness that we talk about, they are falling.

Now, don’t make any spiritual concept into a mask. Don’t pick up any spiritual knowledge. Don’t know anything about anything. And You will still exist. In Your unassociated Existence, there will continue to be peace and joy; naturally, with no feverishness about them.

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The ‘I Am Awareness But…’ Game

Okay, let’s do one thing; did we play this game? [Laughs] Everyone will expose their favorite ‘but…’ I am saying that Right Now God is Here (or whatever your favorite term for God is…

Consciousness, Being, Atma). It is Here, You are present, as Presence Itself.

Now what is the ‘but, but, but…’ that you usually exchange this for? Type it out on the chat, and I will read through some of it. And in this, you’re not just typing it out, you’re actually offering it up…, to be gobbled up in the fire of this Satsang.

‘I am Awareness, but…’

‘I am Consciousness, I am God, but…’ [Laughs]

What are you willing to exchange God for?

Okay let’s jump into some of the responses I’m getting.

Q: ‘But I…’

A:‘But I…’ is one response. ‘But I…’ must mean but ‘I-personally’? Does it mean that? That ‘I’ is something personally?

Q: ‘I, but I…’

A:[Chuckles] ‘I, but I…’ It’s not really a ‘but…’ So, unless the two ‘I’s are pointing in different directions; one ‘I’ is to the Self, ‘I am….but….I’.

Q: Small ‘i’.

A:Small ‘i’. Okay, is that a small ‘i’? Yes, that’s a question. Then another is:

Q: ‘But, I’m not good enough.’

This is the good news. Here is the good news I have for you and I have repeated this many times. There is nothing to do. Nowhere to go. You cannot be ‘not good enough’. You are That Itself. There is no scale of worthiness. You cannot be ‘unworthy’. So, this one I’m happy you offered up because it is very common. ‘I’m not good enough.’

Then the next one is:

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Q: ‘But, I don’t feel that.’

A:It is not a feeling. It is not a feeling. What tells you that you don’t feel it? How do you know this ‘I don’t feel it’? What is aware that you don’t feel it? That is You.

The one that is aware ‘I feel it’ and that is aware ‘I don’t feel it’ …, that one is You. Is it dependent on any feeling?

So, it is not a feeling; it is not a thought.

This is very good you exposed this also because many are waiting to ‘feel’ enlightened. You don’t have to wait to feel enlightened, there is no ‘feeling’ of enlightenment. There is only the feeling of dropping all that is false. So, that is happening on its own. But you don’t have to feel a certain way.

[Next one]:

Q: ‘But I still identify with an idea I have of myself as a person.’

A:Yes. This is the primal addiction. To ‘identify’ with the idea means to give that idea some belief. It is impossible to identify unless the idea has belief. You cannot identify with an unbelieved idea. So, as we are withdrawing our belief from these ideas, we are Seeing that they’re not true.

Then this habit will also break. So, this is the meaning of ‘Let them all come and go, don’t serve them tea’. This is what it means; let all ideas come and go, you don’t serve them your belief. Then you will notice that to identify seems more and more of a struggle, and naturally even your attention is not going to these thoughts as much as it used to.

Good one. [Next one]:

Q: ‘Not sure if it’s a ‘but…’ but there is a sense of dissolving.’

A:‘Not sure if it’s a ‘but…’ but there is a sense of dissolving.’ So, is there an idea that ‘dissolving must be complete and then I will be free’? Just nod your head if it is. No.

So, whatever is dissolving is dissolving. You are Here, no? Yes. So, this You is already complete whether dissolving is happening or not. There is nowhere for Consciousness to get to. God does not have to become God. ‘I Am’ will only be ‘I Am’. But that term ‘only’ does not apply.

[Next one]:

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Q:‘Why does my attention, awareness, flow to the personality level and not rest in the ahamkara, the ‘I Am’?’

A:Usually, if I would use the term like ‘ahamkara’ I would refer to that as the idea that ‘I am something’ …, ego, ahamkara.

So here, what you’re saying is, ‘Why does my attention flow to the personality level?’

Even if it flows to the personality level …, so what does it mean ‘personality level’? Does it flow to the sensations of the body; attention? You can elaborate a bit more on this.

Even if it flows here, attention is going to body. If it is going to thoughts, what happens? Nothing happens till you identify; till you log in. Actually, the ahamkara is not yet created in the ‘I Am’. The ahamkara is created when you make it ‘I am something’ …, when you identify.

She said, ‘I-ego, I mean.’

A:Yes. ‘I… [Stretches out arms and hands-gesture of open-ness] but I…’ [Brings in the outstretched arms and joins hands to show contraction] Isn’t it?

‘I…. [Stretches out arms and hands-gesture of open-ness] but I…’ [Brings in the outstretched

arms and joins hands to show contraction] You know what I am saying?

‘I…, but I.’ This is it. This is the primal confusion. If you were to put it very shortly, in a very short way it would be this: ‘I…, but what about I?’ Isn’t it?

So, in this moment there is only ‘I’, but the mind [comes] and ‘But what about I?’ The big ‘I’, unlimited ‘I’ and the small ‘i’ …, being concerned about the nonexistent one which is the constant message from the mind saying, ‘But what about this…, but what about this…, ‘ saying ‘you invested so much in this small ‘i’ so why not see it through?’

‘Maybe it will win one day. Maybe the small ‘i’ will become God, one day. If you just give it enough money, and the right relationships and the right health of the body, and give it this enlightenment to top off the icing on the cake, then you will be the perfect I.’

This is the story. Nobody has found it like that. Nobody has got it like that because there is no such thing as the perfect body. There is no such thing as the right amount of money and there is no such thing as the best relationship. The foundation for the icing on the cake is just not there. So, we keep hoping that this representation of ‘i’ (this little ‘i’ which we pretend that we are) will one day become this unlimited One; that the mask will become real.

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When you put it in these terms, then you see that it’s just not possible. ‘The mask will become the real.’ It cannot! The mask will only be thrown away. It will only be discarded.

But I like this very much. ‘I… but i’. Big capital ‘I’…., but what about little old ‘me’? That is the

thing. And this little old ‘me’ is the one that has a name, it has a particular form. The mind comes and says, ‘Okay, at least with this one you know its name, you know its form. This big One, you cannot name it. It is the nameless One. You cannot find a form.’

And this can seem a bit scary initially. ‘At least I’m used to something here. I may fall into this unknown; the great Unknown.’ Once you start enjoying this Great Unknown…, and I am here to reassure you that everything is taken care of. Because I know the fear of the Unknown is a primal fear.

So, This one, that you cannot put into a shape, that you cannot put into a size, you cannot put it into a color, You’re seeing that it is You. But something is scared of the unknown quality of this. So, we come back to this limited ‘i’. ‘At least I know some things about this ‘i’. It had a birth. It will have a death. This is what its name is. These are the parents of this one.’

For a while it can seem more reassuring that way; to hang on to this false one. But as you get more and more used to this taste of this…, that ‘I’ which cannot be known mentally, which cannot be seen visually, which cannot be heard through the ears; this ‘I’…, once you start reclaiming Your throne in that way, then You will never want to exchange it for the limited one; never want to exchange it for that which has a birth and death.

I like this. ‘I…, but i’.

[Next one]:

Q: ‘But my kids. I am a mother.’

A:Usually I say that I don’t get in the middle of the mother-identity, but here we can also ask this question: ‘Who is the better mother? Is it God, or is it the limited one?’

[Next one]:

Q: ‘The entire basket of Jesh.’

Yes. The entire basket of Jesh. The basket is gone. Gone…. till you put the next thing into the

basket, when it all seems to reappear and you buy the next notion about ‘Jesh’. Then it seems like the entire basket is back. All our notions seem to be so accessible once we buy one notion about yourself.

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[Next one]:

Q: ‘I am Consciousness but I want to be no-thing.’

Yes, and you will tonight, when you sleep. [Chuckles] Till then, enjoy being some-thing. This primal some- thing; ‘I Am (without being ‘I am some-thing’) is the primordial vibration. In our culture, in Hinduism, this primordial vibration Om is revered throughout. At the beginning of every mantra, every invocation, this primordial ‘I Am’, the primal something before you become a limited some-thing.

So, this Being, in Its unlimited nature, is playing. Enjoy the taste of this Being because this is going. I said ‘tonight’ actually, but you do not know whether it’s going to be here after this moment; you cannot be sure of this. So, it is here to taste.

Let’s look at this again. ‘I am Consciousness, but I want to be no-thing.’ Yes, even this is already here. You don’t even have to wait for sleep state. That which is aware of this Consciousness is You; greater than Consciousness Itself. That, of which Consciousness is just an aspect, is You; already Here. You are this no-thing. Ultimately you can say, independent of the appearance and disappearance even of Consciousness, You are this no-thing.

Very good. [Next one]:

Q: ‘But fear is arising. Who will look after me if the mind is dissolved?”

A:This is also a very popular one. Expose it here and hand it over. Because this ‘Who will look after me?’ …, the ‘me’ that has been looking after you has not done such a great job otherwise you would not be in Satsang. If you were satisfied with how the ego has presumably looked after this life, then you would not be in Satsang.

There must be something, which is a deeper longing, searching for the stability of the Self; wanting to let go of this constantly changing mind. One day it likes this, another day it likes this. One day it likes the fact that ‘My partner is just my opposite; opposites attract I love them so much’ and tomorrow it will say ‘Why couldn’t my partner be more like me? Why can’t we get along more?’

These kind of plays is what the ego has offered. You’re looking for the stability of the Self which has no change happening. We’re done with this coming and going, this ever-changing. The ‘me’ that needs to be looked after, where is it now? Where is the ‘me’ that needs to be looked after?

You will find that only God is here.

Only Consciousness Is. And You are That which is aware of even this Consciousness.

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Good, good, good. [Next one]:

Q:‘But I want my love life to be on my terms. Silly, ridiculous. I trade that all for the peace of my own Being. Please burn this.’

A: ‘I am God, but my love life has to be on my terms.’

A: Very good, very good, very good. Very good. [Next one]:

Q: ‘But waiting for the approval or conditions set by the ‘me’ to accept this holiness.’

A:Yes, waiting for the mind certificate. ‘Yes, yes, You really are the Being. You really are the Awareness, aware of Being.’ Waiting for this mind certificate which never says, hardly ever says ‘Yes’. Mostly it says ‘Just a little more. One more Satsang. One more retreat. One more insight and you are there.’ There are times that it says yes also, like ‘I got it@’ Just to turn it around and say ‘See, see, now you got it; now you’re losing it again. You lost it.’ So, drop this game today. Don’t care about a mind certificate. Gone, gone. ‘I am Awareness, I am the Self, but…’ What is the next one?

Q: ‘But…, I often forget it.’

A:[Laughs] ‘I often forget it.’ It doesn’t need to be remembered; doesn’t need to be remembered.

It is beyond memory, beyond imagination, beyond any thought, beyond any sort of keeping it alive in our memory constantly. This is also a common idea that ‘I must remember it all the time, that I am the Self.’

You See it. Anytime there is confusion that arises, you check again. You see what You Are. You are the Self. No need to put it in any memory. In fact, better not to remember it. Okay, this might sound a bit funny but: Don’t remember it! If you remember ‘it’ then you will remember some visual of Awareness; you will try to remember some experience of Awareness. Do you need to remember something which is ever-present? So then, what will happen is the fear is that ‘But what happens when I pick up the wrong idea?’ Your insight will not fail you; don’t worry. As you are coming to this insight over and over in Satsang, when the confusion of the false, limited-self arises, don’t worry. Your insight will not fail you. A little bit of poking, a little bit of suffering, and you will turn your attention to the Self. It happens on its own; you don’t have to remember it. That sounds like too much effort.

Q: Just ‘but’. Because none of the ‘but…’ seems to stand up, yet there is still this uncertainty.

A:Just but. ‘I am Awareness, but…’Yes. This is it. This ‘but…’ It’s another way actually of saying ‘i’. But ‘i’. I feel like this is another way of saying it. Just ‘but…’ is actually that.

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What is Naturally Present Here?

What we are saying is that, Right Now, what you are, just become aware of this.

And don’t interpret it. Don’t judge it in any way. Let all judgements come and go.

Everything for this recognition is already here.

You don’t have to move, you don’t have to change anything at all.

What is naturally present here?

Before all sensations, I Am.

Before all experience, I Am.

Nothing is done to create this ‘I Am’ and nothing you do will change this ‘I Am’.

Your original nature will remain even if you wear the mask of personality, personhood. Nothing in Reality is affected by it because this is what You Are.

And in the play, as you are not picking up these false notions, the Truth is completely apparent…, and it is wordless. You don’t have to say that you are aware of your existence here. It is naturally there. No proclamation is needed.

So much good news for you. As the false is dropped, the true is apparent. And you don’t have to do anything to the false.

Can anything be simpler than this?

If you’re still holding onto that same old notion ‘Oh, the trouble is because it is too simple ‘ forget this one also. Forget it! It’s served its purpose. You saw that it is simple now, don’t be enamored by it. Forget it. [Smiling]

Don’t take any position about anything at all. Because all your positions are just the mask of God. Any position that you take is the mask of God; of God pretending to be a limited entity, God pretending to be only this and not that.

Then you will see that, in this entire appearance, you will not be able to draw a dividing line saying ‘This is me and this is other’. And yet, even worldly conversations can continue. The words can arise from your mouth saying ‘This is what happened to me. How are you today?’ That naturalness does not have to go. But truly, you will not be able to find this separate ‘me’ and you will not have the notion of ‘another’. All of this has just been conditioning. We have learned this. Now we are unlearning it. Unlearn your favorite notions, because your favorite notions are pretending to create this small ego out of you. But your Reality is just here effortlessly.

Meet me without effort; then we meet as One.

Meet me without pretense; then we recognize our true nature, true Being.

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Don’t pick up ‘the seeker’ for a bit, don’t pick up ‘the questioner’ for a bit, don’t pick up ‘the one who has understood’ for a bit.

Remain naked, open.

Don’t know anything.

Here the Truth is clear.

Your devotion is independent of your pretense of being a devotee.

Your love is independent of your idea of being a lover.

Don’t take any position with anything at all.

Then you will find that naturally everything that needs to happen (even in the worldly appearance) is happening.

You need not do nothing about your hearing. It is just happening. You are doing nothing about your sight. Sight is just there.

Because these are just the automatic, spontaneous arising of your own Existence, your own Consciousness, which is effortlessly present.

If God is effortlessly present, what more do you want to add to that?

God is Here. And this God is notion-less.

Whatever notion you might have about God, forget about it. We don’t use them in that way. Pretend it is a new word you are hearing, without any cultural, religious or spiritual conditioning. It is a word for Your Being, Your Existence. It has no limit, no boundary, no shape, no size; just I Am.

What is aware of this ‘I Am’?

Who am I?

You are noticing that there is no trouble when you are remaining notion-less, concept-less. Therefore, the only trouble is [the idea that] ‘I am addicted to picking up a notion, addicted to picking up a concept’.

Now, the Sages have prescribed two methods (which are one actually but they seem like two methods) by which to get rid of this addiction of picking up a notion.

The first is surrender. Let go. Whatever notion might be coming from the mind, you allow it to just come and go. Surrender it to the higher power. Whether you call that higher power Guru, God, Self, it doesn’t matter. Know that That One takes much better care of everything than your notion about yourself ever can.

Allow all notions to come and go. Even if you pick up a notion, in the next moment it is gone. Don’t even pick up the notion that ‘Oh, I picked up this notion ‘. It is all gone; fresh, Now. This is

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surrender. Allowing Consciousness, Your own Holy Presence, to be the doer and the experiencer of all things, without getting any individual idea involved, is surrender.

Now, some of us, we don’t have this temperament. We’re not able to. We’ve heard it often enough but it doesn’t seem like ‘I can just let go’. For those ones, the Sages have said: whatever you pick up, whatever idea you pick up about yourself, inquire and see whether that is true.

‘I must be a better spiritual seeker, I must find freedom.’ So, we can inquire into these notions and check whether such an ‘I’ actually exists. Can you find the one who finds freedom? You cannot. And because you cannot, you See that this notion is false. So, in this way, we play the game of delusion and breaking the delusion, coming back to the Truth.

The Truth is naturally present Here in your notion-less existence.

Now, remain in silence in your notion-less existence.

And if any notion becomes meaningful for you, See if you can just hand it over; surrender it. And if you can’t seem to hand it over, then you inquire into it as I have just explained.

Taste Your Being, taste Your Existence, taste Your Presence.

Completely open; allowing all things to come and go, all thoughts to come and go. All emotions are allowed, all sensations are allowed.

And these instructions are not just for this Satsang. It is for life.

In this play, as you get more and more used to your unadulterated Being, notion-less Existence, you will not ask for the limited self again. The ‘But, I…’ the ‘But, this limited I…’ will not seem attractive to you anymore.

Whatever has to be Seen will be Seen naturally.

Whatever has to be heard will be heard naturally.

No conceptual struggling about anything at all.

Now you cannot suffer.

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Fear and Excitement Can Come Along with the Discovery

So, what happens is that because we have considered ourselves to be limited for so long, as we are coming to this Seeing that ‘I Am this shoreless Being’ there are two usual responses in the play.

The first is the response of fear (‘Oh, what is going to happen?’) …, whether we call this the fear of death or the fear of the unknown. And if you don’t have a Master, then many times when we first get a little taste of this fear then something feels to back off. Because (usually) the Master is not there saying ‘It’s okay, nothing will happen to you’. This is the first.

The second is that as we find the vastness of This, we can then get caught up in the feeling around it, the taste of it. We can feel like ‘Wow’ …, the excitement of it. But whether it is the fear of it or the excitement of this discovery, the discovery is not the fear or the excitement. So, let that fear play out how as it has to. Let this excitement also play out how it has to. But You are Seeing that neither of these You are. The ocean remains unmoved no matter what the quality of the waves might be. So, outwardly there can be this ‘Oh, what’s going to happen?!!’ [fear] or ‘Ahh…, what’s happening?’ [Excitement] Either can happen. But in Reality, You have always only been This.

So, nothing is going to happen and nothing really is happening. It’s just that the false idea has been thrown away. These by-products, they can come and they can go, but it is never about any of the by-products itself. If they are sweet, we can enjoy them; enjoy them as prasad. Prasad means the offering [gift] that you get after Darshan. If they are scary, know that your Master is taking care of everything.

In this way, all these movements of the waves can happen, but You See that whatever expression might be playing out here, whether it is fear or excitement, I remain; untouched, unmoved unchanging.

So, no desire, no aversion to anything that might play out as this discovery is happening. As long as we don’t get confused between the by-products of the discovery and the discovery itself, the play cannot perpetuate, the belief in the individual identity in the play cannot perpetuate. The play can go on. The appearance of the play can go on.

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Don´t Fight with the Fear

Q:Fear of the unknown is so strong that the right side of my body is tightening, extreme with tension. Guruji, what do I do now?

A:Don’t fight with this fear. Just See naturally (and if the answer doesn’t come, it’s fine; but naturally, if some answer arises for this): How much space is this fear truly taking, within you?

[Silence]

It can seem like our entire attention is getting used up in this sensation of fear. But allow the question to make some room; effortlessly. How much space is this fear taking inside me?

And if it is taking all the space, then where am I hearing these words? In which space are these words being heard? Then you find that this space of Your Existence can contain not just this fear but the entire universe.

When we See it like this, then we stop fearing the fear. There is nothing to fear about fear. Let fear come.

There is a huge vastness within You which is completely untouched by this fear. It is just the nature of these things that they pull in all our attention, so it can seem like it is too much.

The example is just like (I like to say) there is a big white wall behind me and I put a small black dot there. And I ask: ‘What do you see?’ Most of you would say ‘Oh, there’s a black dot. It’s a black dot.’ [Chuckling] Very rarely would someone say ‘Oh, there’s a big wall’. Because we are so used to this space that we’ve forgotten it’s vastness, it’s boundary-less-ness, which can contain the entire universe, and many times this universe, with no trouble.

[Silence]

Just like the screen remains untouched no matter which visual is being projected on it, Your Being, Your Consciousness, remains untouched no matter what the sensation might be. So, we don’t have to resist any sensation, we don’t have to fear any appearance. Allow it to come. In fact, if you want, you can keep a slightly welcoming attitude. Say ‘Okay, you want to live here for some time? Let’s see how long you will last.’ You will see that, compared to the Reality of You, all these sensations are just coming and going.

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All Boundaries Are Experienced as Sensations Within You

Q:Now when hearing in the space with closed eyes, two different sounds are being perceived; one at my end, the local surrounding and one from your end, the side traffic. Something can distinctly sort them as two different sounds; one local from my side, and the other from the recording being recorded now in Bangalore.

A:Now, the sounds can be distinctive. Just like in the experience, there can be the hearing, there can be there words, there can be a traffic noise, there can be various different perceptions happening. The only confusion is: What is ‘mine’ in this? What makes the ‘me’ in this? What makes this local to ‘me’? Is it the quality or the intimacy of a sensation that we allow that to become ‘me’?

Without this interpretative voice, without the voice of the mind, we would not have this idea of me. We would not say that ‘This is my hand’ as much as we would say ‘This is my universe’. It’s the same feeling of belonging.

Now, we have been taught to separate this ‘me’. All your experiencing is a set of sensations in the same space of Your Being. We have been taught how to differentiate between ‘me, my sensations, and the sensations that are outside of me’. A baby does not have this. And that’s why one of my favorite examples (which can explain this so clearly) is that if you are a parent or if you have seen have a child, you will notice that you buy them a toy when they are really young, really small, and you hang it above the crib and you keep pointing to this child ‘Play with this toy, we bought it for you’ and the child’s hand is reaching up there and he starts playing with the hand!

So, it makes no difference to the child whether the playing is happening with the toy or the hand because that distinction of ‘me’ and ‘outside me’ is not there. Then our parents taught us ‘Your hand, your face; make these actions, make these faces, walk like this, talk like this’. So, we’ve been taught how to individualize a certain set of sensations, calling them ‘me’ and how these are outer…, ‘me’ and ‘the other’.

Now, what you’re Seeing is all your experiences, all your perceptions, are all happening within You. But if you’re still feeling that ‘within me’ must mean ‘within the body’ then this can seem confusing.

Where are the sensations of the body happening? Our conditioning is so strong that when I say ‘within you’ you might be thinking ‘within my body’. I’m not saying that. In the space of Your Existence, when You exist, all these sensations are there, all this perception is there. All of this; this is the screen of Consciousness in which the body is playing, and all other lights and sounds are playing. The mind has taught us; whether it came through this, that which you call ‘my mind’ (these thoughts which are so intimate) or from the seeming thoughts of others, it is the same mind which has taught us that this boundary is ‘me’ and this outside this boundary is ‘not me’.

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So, how do you define ‘me’ and therefore, how do you define ‘local to you’? This distinction is starting to fade away. You will notice that all boundaries are being experienced as sensations within You. But this You Itself, you will not be able to find a boundary for.

So then, these ideas which are really ideas of belief about ‘me and other’ / ‘me and mine’ (which is the source of all suffering) will start to fade away. There is no such ‘me’ who could have a ‘my’. There is no such ‘you’ that is the owner of that computer. If there’s an owner, that owner owns everything in your perception. There are no-two. And more and more, you’re finding who You are.

So, don’t struggle with this insight. I see many of you wanting to struggle with this insight, trying to see the oneness of the world. You don’t have to do anything of the sort. Just see what You are. Are you a thing? Are you an object contained in this world? If you are an object contained in this world, then you would be an individual doer, you would be the individual experiencer. But what you are finding is that You are not an object. All these objects are just perceptions within You.

So, come to the Seeing of Your non-objective Truth and all these insights will be so apparent. But as long as the condition is that ‘I am object in this world’ then these insights will seem like a struggle. Stay with the main question, which is ‘Who are you?’ Then all the confusion about ‘me and mine’ and ‘you and yours’ will start to fade away.

Who is aware of this world? Who is aware of the ‘me and other’? Who is aware of your existence?

Stay with these questions. Then all of this Oneness will become so apparent, so clear, without any struggle. All confusion, remember, all confusion is confusion about who I am. It may seem like the confusion is about whether the world is within me or outside me, whether the world is real or illusion; who am I in this world…, but the real confusion is about who I am. Once you resolve that, then all these insights will be so naturally clear. Once you See that You are not an object, once you See that You are beyond time and space, once you See that You are All There Is then you will find that all that is moving in time and space are just aspects, appearances, within the dynamic aspect of You.

So, find out: who is aware of your existence? What is the shape and size of that one? Where is it located? This will resolve all the seeming-confusions about the world. You don’t have to struggle with any of that.

It’s the same for the question of doership also. The question about ‘Whether I have free will or not’ is still a mistaken identity. Is there such a ‘you’ which could have anything at all, including free will? When you find that there is no such ‘me’ then you find that there was just a mistaken notion that there is an individual doer or an individual experiencer. ‘What should I do?’ or ‘How come this is my experience? …, all of these come from a mistaken notion about who You are.

Once you find that You are not an object in this world, once you find that in Your true nature You have no qualities or attributes, yet You are the substratum of all qualities and attributes, then all of this, all of these insights, will become clearer and clearer.

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The ‘Job’ of the Master (If There Is Such a Thing)

Actually, the ‘job’ of the Master, if there is such a thing as a job, is the simplest and also the most difficult. [Laughs] Now, suppose one day you went to the top of the India Gate, or went to the top of the Eiffel Tower, or went to the top of the Statue of Liberty or something; you went to the top. And then you forgot that you are at the top of this and the feeling is that ‘I want to get there’. So, everyone who comes now, you are asking them ‘Sir, how do I get to the top of the Eiffel Tower?’ And you are expecting that the color of the clouds will change; because you are just looking at the clouds, you are not looking at where you are, you are just looking at the clouds, the sky. ‘Something should change.’ So, everyone is coming and telling you ‘But you are there’. Where are You? What are You?

But you’re like ‘But these clouds, they bother me. They’re too dark’ or ‘They’re too light’. They’re too whatever. ‘I was told that my experience would change if I was on top of the Eiffel Tower. Something should be different.’

So, what is the Master saying? Just really check: Where are you? The only thing (seemingly) that gets in the way are these moving clouds; these moving clouds which come as ideas about ourselves. Then what to do with these moving clouds? You hear every day. Either let them become the Master’s problem, or you inquire whether any of these clouds are truly about you. If you let them go, then the Truth is very apparent. It’s just that our attention has gotten so caught up in this mind that it feels like ‘I don’t have any attention to spare to look within’. Then you come to this space in which there is no within or without. It is not even space.

So, let go of these clouds, or inquire into them and find out if any cloud really touches You, makes a dent, makes a scratch on You, in Reality. Then you’ll not have to run for the Truth. You Are the Truth. You don’t have to do any ‘Truth exercise’ …, no spiritual push-ups. But if you approach this from the perspective of the mask already, from the personal mask already, then it can seem like there are many things you have to do to drop the mask. The ego trying to kill the ego. The thief trying to catch the thief. It doesn’t work like that.

What is Your mask-less Truth?

What is Your naked Reality?

Are you confused here? Are you lost?

Do you have somewhere to get to?

Are you trying to understand Awareness?

Do you have to fight with some emotion?

Do you have to fix a relationship?

Do you need to earn more money?

What is here, before there is an idea of you, which I call the mask?

Are you the doer, or the non-doer?

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The Self Is Never Disconnected from the Self

Q:This year my Father died, my husband died, my good Sangha friend died. In this moment, I feel disconnected from the Self. Please help.

A:So, this year these strong events have happened. As far as the phenomenal world is concerned maybe the strongest things (that we can call ‘in this realm’) have happened. And yet, this last part of what you say ‘In this moment, I feel disconnected from the Self’.

So, are there two of you? One is the ‘I’ and the other is the ‘Self’?

Can we locate this ‘I’ that is disconnected from the Self?

Now, a feeling can be there and the feeling can be strong. An interpretation can be there and the interpretation can seem true. But for a moment, if you are not to be concerned about what the feeling is, or what the quality of the feeling is, or what the thought is saying, what is it that you are?

The Self is never disconnected from the Self. The ‘I’ that could be connected or disconnected is never true. This is really important.

The Self can never be disconnected from the Self; it is the Self. And the ‘I’ that could be connected or disconnected is never real. That has just been an idea.

That which You Are, Right Now, is beyond all connections and disconnections. It is only when you consider yourself to be something limited, if you consider yourself to be something who is specific to this name, something limited to this body, then you will feel like ‘I am a limited entity, and I need to connect it back to the Source’.

But now, you’re realizing that the true ‘connecting back’ is actually a recognition that ‘I can never be disconnected’.

Are you aware of the body, or is the body aware of you?

In your experience…

Are you aware of your thoughts, or are these thoughts the greater?

Are they the unchanging witness and this Awareness is coming and going?

What is your truest position; the one that does not come and go?

Without the idea that you’re a limited entity, without the idea that you are ‘some-thing’ …, what real disconnection is there?

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That is the simplicity of Advaita Vedanta. We don’t consider you (and it is not just a logical position, it is an experiential Truth) that I don’t consider you to be a separate entity at all…, so that you don’t consider yourself to be a separate entity. Because once this idea of separation is given belief then it seems like to come to the realization of the Self is a long journey.

If this separation has never really happened, why must we pick it up?

And if we have picked it up, we can see now that it is gone.

But if we start from the perspective that ‘I am some-thing’ …, that there is an individual jivatma, then it seems like a long, difficult process to bring this ‘I am some-thing’ back home.

What is your Truth right now?

Is it true that you are some-thing?

Is it true that ‘I am some-thing?’

What is that some-thing that you attach to ‘I am’?

What is the basis of that?

It’s just another thought.

It is just a notion, a concept.

It has no validity, no Reality.

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Relationship with Thoughts Makes It More Intense

So, if the thought comes and says ‘You’re a green Martian’ no matter how many times it comes, and how large-seeming it is, you will not find it so strong. But when the thought comes ‘I am a person, I am an individual entity’ …, it because we have nurtured it with our belief [that it seems so strong]. It is because we have given it the possibility of being true for so long, that when it comes…, [it seems so strong].

Like the thought would say ‘You have to be a good person’ or something like that. Because we have nurtured the possibility of being a person for so long that this thought can seem like it is loud.

Can you take an example of a loud thought? You will find that (although there are these 3 or 4 things that are loud for most of us) for everyone in this Satsang today, it will not be equally loud. Why? If the thought itself was loud, then it should be equally loud for everyone. It is because of what has been conditioned here, what has been believed here in the past [that some thoughts are louder than others].

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Is Any Thought Bigger Than You?

When you are trying to push something away, then it can seem like it is very strong. Our resistance is what seems to give it power. In your openness, I’m telling you that nothing is really that strong as we consider it to be.

Everything is perceived as a set of sensations. Now, what is too strong for the Perceiver of them? How loud or how big does something have to be when it becomes too loud or too big for the Perceiver?

If an image came (the image is a tiny image of an ant) but what if this image keeps growing? Now, this ant is as big as this body. But it keeps growing, growing. It’s as big as this room. Big, big, big; bigger and bigger. It’s as big as this building. Bigger, bigger, bigger. It’s a big as the entire Earth. Because this ant, which is so tiny, the image, the visual of it is so big now …, is it bigger than the Perceiver? Does it hurt the Perceiver?

It’s just another image, isn’t it?

Can any object perceived become greater than That which perceives it?

Any thought (even if it feels like it is shouting and screaming, throwing a big tantrum) is it bigger than Your Being in which it is appearing?

It is only if you introduce yourself in this image now, and you introduce yourself as a person, a body, that then the ant is so big. Then it can become scary.

But if you are not a thing, if you are not an object, what is too much for You? than others].

Then, like, I used to take this example: If I say to you that ‘You are a terrible ice skater; there is no chance you will come into the Olympics this time’ you would say ‘Is that supposed to hurt me? It is not affecting me at all’. But if I say to somebody ‘You’re a terrible person’ or ‘You’re not a good partner’ or ‘You’re not a good mother’ or ‘You’re not a good father’ …, [that would probably hurt.] Why? If I say to someone who is an Olympian ice skater ‘You’re terrible, there’s no chance’ that one will hurt them more.

So, it’s not the content of the thought itself but what the relationship with that thought has been that makes it loud or more intense.

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Insight in Inquiry Is Apparent in Beingness

Yes, Yes! This is a very good point. So, these days I have been saying this and you have been watching some of the satsang also. I have seen that the words that have come from here should help to clarify this very clearly. As we don’t have any notion about ourselves; whether we call it just Being, just empty, just open, in complete acceptance (whatever the terminology we use is unimportant) …, basically the point is to come to this notion-less existence. Guruji [Sri Mooji] calls this your unadulterated Being, your unassociated Consciousness.

Now, that which gets associated is just a notion, that ‘I am something’. If upon hearing the pointing to ‘Just Be’ you can see that all somethings are coming and going, then nothing is getting attached. Then simply you come to your simple surrender. This is only surrender, that ‘I have nothing to do with the something that the mind is offering to me. It is all allowed to come and go.’ This is the simplicity of surrender. For you, because of your temperament, it might seem like this is the easier position. Now, as you come to this unadulterated Being, uncontaminated Consciousness [Laughs] (whatever terminology you use) the truth about who You Are is very apparent! So, it is not that the insight which is available in inquiry is not apparent already in your just Being. So, that Self- recognition is the most apparent thing in your Being.

Now, others might feel that ‘This just me thing, I just can’t do that this me thing’ so they have a different temperament. They might be able to surrender all the ‘somethings’ to allow them to come and go. If they feel like ‘This being, I can’t just be; that sounds like a doing to me’ [Laughs] …, some can also say that. So, for them, because they are so different temperamentally, and they are very quick to pick up on the idea of ‘I am something’ and they feel like ‘I can’t just let it go, I can’t surrender it, I can’t just be’ then there is another way. Whichever ‘something’ you are considering yourself to be, inquire whether that is true or not. ‘I am not a good person, I am not finding the truth, I am not a worthy seeker’ …, all these ideas we have. So, for those who are not able to just let them go, able to ‘Just be’ then we say ‘Okay, you inquire into whether these are true. And as we inquire into whether these are true, we find that these notions become powerless and we Are just Being. And again, as we are just being, the truth is completely apparent.

What we have to be careful about in the ‘Just being’ is that we don’t think that there is ‘somebody’ just being. Because even that can become a position. Empty of the notion of even ‘Just being’ …, You Are. You just Are. You are not ‘doing’ the ‘Just being’. It’s not like ‘Okay, I am going to leave the inquiry; now I am just going to be. Because no matter what you do with that mask of ‘I’ …, it will be comfortable for few days but after few days even that will start poking. So, You just Are. You don’t have to do anything to just be. Being just IS. So, what you are saying is that as ‘I am just being. As being just IS, I don’t need to pick up any notion, including the notion of inquiry.’ Yes! If the first part of what you are saying is true then the second part is also true. If no notion is that attractive for you that it seems sticky, then there’s no need for any practice, including inquiry.

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Just Being Is Not Different from Inquiry

If, in your most natural place (and I just said ‘Then what are You now?’) all those questions, all those conditions, they vanish. How do I know that they will vanish? Because they are not true; they are not your original state.

So, you don’t have to take one position over another. You don’t have to take one as the Truth, one as the false. Just…, everything is gone. This is Your notion-less Existence.

But the minute you pick up the idea ‘Okay, but then, Father, what should I do?’ [Chuckles] …, that is the position that you will pick up. But, for that, either we let it go; just Be. Or, we say ‘Who is here to do something?’ Actually, both are the same. Both these apparent approaches are the same. They have the same effect of dropping the ‘something’.

So then, just Being is no longer any different from the inquiry itself. Because as You’re just Being, it is clear who You Are (which is the inquiry). The recognition is so apparent. And as Your recognition is apparent, what are You? You are just Being.

Soon, all these distinctions will fade away, because You will realize that ‘I don’t need a strategy to get anywhere, I don’t need a plan to get anywhere because before I even decide to get somewhere, I Am That’.

This is just Being…, [Chuckles] without doing the ‘just Being’.

I hope, more and more, this point becomes clear for all of you. Because otherwise, what I say is that ‘If I have a goal or a destination, a plan to get there, a path ‘What can I do?’…, then the starting point itself becomes false, which is to pick up the mask of the limited one.

What I’m showing you is that in Your concept-less Existence, Right Now:

Is there somewhere to get to?

Is there something you have to become?

Is there some more right or wrong way?

Can anything come and change Your Reality?

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All of Spirituality Is One Flowchart

All of spirituality is like one flowchart. How to drop something is the aim of that flowchart. How to drop the notion of something? First, just forget it! [Chuckles] Don’t make it a ‘thing’. Forget it! Just remain as I Am, or just Be, surrender, let it be Father’s problem or Guruji’s problem (same thing). It can be let go of. Then, something is let go of in that. Then you feel like ‘Oh, but this seems like some new-age-y type stuff that is not real. How can I just let go? It’s just seeming like some new age philosophy; neo-Advaita or something like that.’ Then I say ‘Okay then, if you feel like you are something, can you check if it is true? Where is that something? Who am I?’ That is inquiry. Surrender and inquiry are the two main things that we speak about in Satsang; every Satsang.

Sometimes, rarely, someone will come and say ‘You know, surrender, Father, and inquiry also, I can’t really do.’ I say ‘Okay, how is it if I ask you to just stay with your breath. Stay with your breath; in-out, in-out. At least during that time, you’re not playing with the idea ‘I am something’. So, mindfulness comes from there. Same thing. You’re not picking up the idea that you are something…, by just keeping our attention on our breath. Someone says ‘Okay, I can’t even do that.’ So, then, the Masters in their kindness said ‘Okay, let me give you a mantra. I will energize this mantra and give it to you because it has a resonance with your energy system as it is today. So, let me, on the basis of your energy system give you an energized mantra so that when it resonates, when the mantra reverberates within your Being, it seems to clean up all these notions that ‘I am something’. So, then we go ‘Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram’ and all this idea that ‘I am something’ is dissolving.

Then someone will come and say ‘I can’t bring attention to breath. I can’t even do chanting. I do it for two minutes but my mind is too distracted. I go to check my email.’ We say to them, ‘Okay, then maybe you can use a mala, so every time you get distracted, go to the physical sensation of the mala and keep your attention on that.’ Some will say ‘Even that doesn’t work.’ Then we say ‘Okay, so can you sing some bhajan at least. For 15 minutes every day, sing a bhajan. At least in those 15 minutes, you will not consider yourself to be ‘something’. You’re just invoking the Presence of the Lord in your heart.’ They might say ‘But I’m not devotional. Doing bhajans just sounds like some silly Indian music or something. I can’t do that.’

I say ‘Okay. Are you okay with bending your body a little bit…, to just keeping your attention on the body movements in a certain way? I’ll give you some yoga, hatha yoga, to do.’ So, all of this, starting from just this simple surrender, to actually the very physical exercise, the physical movement of the body, is all about dropping this notion that you are ‘something’.

There is no right or wrong in this; what is right, what is wrong. There is nothing like that. It is just based on what is suitable for your temperament. But all are coming to this same point, that it’s so simple to Just Be. All of this is ‘Much Ado About Nothing’…, [Chuckles] to discover That which You always Are.

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This ‘I Don´t Know Who I Am’ Is Very Beautiful

Actually, sometimes we call Satsang ‘The process of going from the head to the Heart.’ But also, we can say that it is a process of going from the head, the mental interpretations, to our own recognition, our own insight. Because even what the mind is saying starts to feel like second- hand knowledge. So, don’t be frustrated. I get a lot of messages where someone will say ‘But I’m not recognizing myself as this Awareness. I don’t know who I am.’

Don’t be scared of this ‘I don’t know’ because when you get scared of this ‘I don’t know’ again you will rush to some other concepts. ‘Okay, I’m going to leave that old concept that ‘I am a person’ but I will pick up another concept ‘But I am This’…, so, this I will try to prove to myself and to everyone around me that this one is a valid concept now.’ And that doesn’t work. So, again, we look for the next change.

When suffering doesn’t stop because of any concept we might pick up, then we go through the whole journey again. But this insight, because you don’t find something phenomenal there, then it is very difficult to make a concept out of it and the mind can come and say ‘You still don’t know who you are.’ And we’ve been conditioned to believe that this ‘I don’t know’ is bad news.

Actually, for me, this ‘I don’t know’ is the best news! Many write to me and say ‘When I do the Self-inquiry, I look and I don’t find anything. I don’t know who I am.’ This is very good. Better than if you were to say that ‘I am the Self. I found it!’ [Chuckles] Better sometimes. This ‘I don’t know’ is very good because we are letting go of this inferential knowledge or some interpretation of what is found; and we remain in the silence of our true insight.

Usually (we can’t make a generalization out of this but) usually it is found that those who will start the Self-inquiry and get a bit scared of this ‘I don’t know’ will pick up a concept ‘I am the Self, I am Awareness, I am nothing.’ Then you will find that they want to speak about it a lot. They want to share about it. Because they have their own self-doubt that wants to be camouflaged under this so-called aura of certainty. ‘I found it! I saw it! I’m IT!’ But, in the true recognition, is there some special thing about that? There is nothing special, nothing really to proclaim also.

So, in this way, this silence is very useful. We’re not replacing a set of concepts. Some of you are from different sanghas, different Masters, and you picked up a set of concepts there. So, we’re not going to replace those old concepts with new concepts. We’re not saying ‘Okay, we’re going from ‘X’ concept to now Guruji’s [Sri Mooji’s] concepts or Ananta’s concepts.’ The point is to come to this silence…, which is non-conceptual. Silence does not mean that we’re not speaking words. Words can still flow.

[Silence]

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Silence is the absence of egoic belief.

If you’re truly hearing my words, what I’m pointing you to is way beyond the one that had a journey, way beyond all that you can think of yourself to be. So, rest in this ‘not-knowing’. It is a very restful place. ‘I don’t know who I am.’ It’s beautiful. It is open.

If you switch from one conceptual knowing to another conceptual knowing, again it’s ‘the same guy’ (Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘it’s the same guy’) but in different disguises. So, we don’t have to worry about whether I have the right concept.

And if you feel like you’re not coming to the recognition in the inquiry, that is what I’m happy to do together. This is what we do every day.

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How Long Do You Want to Play with These Concepts?

It is just our expectation of what we will recognize. We feel that we will come to the Self, as if the Self is also some object. Whatever object is being cognized, who is aware of that? What is aware of that?

What is the One that witnesses all things, the One that is aware of all the states; the waking state, the dream state, the dreamless-sleep state? Is that an object in these states? How are you so sure about this?

How are you so sure that you are this body? How are you so sure that you are the owner of just this body?

How do you know that you are not the light of this entire universe? Just because this mind tells you? Is it not worthwhile to question this mind a little bit?

Listening to the mind, what have you got? Fear about death? Fear of the next moment? Fear of the future? The idea that you have a start and an end? The idea that you were born, you will die? All these have been the gifts from the mind…, the idea that you did something wrong, the idea that you can do something right.

How long do you want to play with these concepts?

And you are free to [Smiles] for as long as you like. But notice a discrepancy, if what you are claiming is ‘I’m done with these concepts’. If you feel that you’re done with these concepts, then notice that actually they have no power over you.

Are you really done with the play of this name and form?

Somebody said the other day something very nice. Jesh Krishna, it was. He said ‘Father, when we say ‘person’ it seems to generalize it a bit. But when I ask myself ‘Am I done with the play of Jesh, am I done with the play of Krishna?’ then it becomes really clear; the question becomes really clear.’ Because just like the ego, it becomes like a very generalized concept. And most people in the world actually believe they are not egoistic. If we talk to people generally on the road, and we asked ‘Do you feel like you are egoistic?’ [They would say something like]: ‘No, no, I’m not egoistic. My partner; you should meet them. They are really proud.’ Ego has been confused to be this sense of arrogance or pride. Then if we asked them ‘But do you consider yourself a person?’ [They would say] ‘Of course. I’m a good person.’ [Chuckles] Like that.

So then, like that, ego seems to generalize the concept. Then even this person idea, because we use it every day in Satsang, then we can say ‘Okay, that is just the person. The person comes. I’m

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done with the person.’ Sometime it’s good to put that name in the box, which you identify with the most, and say: ‘Are you done with that one?’

If there was a book, a story of this one, a novel was being written, and then the novel has this very tame ending: One who came to Satsang today, and nothing happened. But you gave up on writing the novel. Are you okay with that ending? Just mid-sentence it stops. ‘I came to Satsang. It started off very nice; bhajan was there, Aarti was there’ and then done! …, pen is dropped. Are you still wondering what is going to happen to this one that you consider yourself to be? ‘Where is the halo? Where are the followers? What Satsang will emerge from your mouth?’

This brings our belief system into very close focus. If this moment is the end of all stories that you about that name, would you be okay with that?

Not to be seen as anything special.

Not to also be seen as anything terrible.

Neither got it, nor didn’t get it.

But I’m pointing you to your notion-less existence.

Are you still waiting for the notion about yourself?

Are you still waiting for that ‘Yes, I got it!’

Or ‘Why don’t I get it?’

It is neither, you see? It is still the case of the mistaken identity, the ‘I’.

There is no individual anywhere. It is not even your experience. It is only one voice, which is just another sensation in your Being, which is programmed to convince you of your limited self.

Everything else Is as it Is. Even this, ultimately, Is as it Is, because this is the way in which Consciousness is playing with Itself.

If there are no more pages in your story, are you good?

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The Truth Can Be Checked, the False Is a Presumption

What is the struggle actually?

If in Satsang there is a struggle, what is the struggle?

I am saying:

You are all there is.

You are God.

You are complete.

You are full.

You say ‘No, but…, I am something limited, and I want to be God’ or ‘I’m not getting to God’ or ‘I’m God, but in a personal way’.

And I’m saying ‘Why do you have to do all that? You are God.’

Q:Mind doesn’t believe that.

A:It doesn’t believe that. But the good thing is, that here, what I’m saying doesn’t have to be believed. What the mind is saying has to be believed. What I’m saying just can be checked:

Is there anything outside of You?

Unless you create first some mental boundary about where you are or what you are…, show me what is outside You? Then, what is God?

See, the Truth can be checked. The false is a presumption.

That a sensation which is the body (and many bodies we experience) but that a sensation which defines the body actually defines a boundary for Me is just an interpretation. It is not the Truth. It is experienced as a sensation. And in the experience itself, it is clear, that I contain the sensation, the sensation doesn’t contain Me. This is your direct experience. I can’t even translate it into precise words.

But the mind will come and say ‘See, this sensation is there; this is your limit, this is your boundary’. Without that, you’re a baby. They don’t have this concept.

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Is There a New Way of Looking?

It can seem like it’s a new way of looking, but actually, what has happened is that in our prior way, when the looking was happening, when the perceiving was happening, it was constantly accompanied by this concept ‘What’s in it for me?’ So, when you’re like ‘Should I pay attention to this conversation? Oh, is there something in this for you, are you learning something, are you getting something?’ ‘What are you watching?’ Is it based on that? ‘Where are you going?’ ‘What am I getting?’ So, it is constantly in the maha mantra of the ego which is ‘What’s in it for me?’

Now, that is being dropped away. To drop it away, for some time you might be using the opposite concept to neutralize the first concept, which is that ‘There is no me here’ or ‘I am not this’.

Q: It is not a concept.

A:But ultimately, you will see that even that is a concept. And you don’t need that concept ‘There is no me’ to live your life in a new way, to See things in a new way.

When you’re empty of any notion, what is here?

[Silence]

Q: Nothing.

A:And yet, you’re hearing these words. You see? There is no individual person on which these words are landing. In your naturalness, this is your Truth. If it feels helpful for a while, we can.

That’s why, even in Satsang, we can tell you the opposite. So, one day I will say that ‘You are not the doer at all’. Then one day I will tell you ‘Just do the inquiry. You can do it’. Why?

Because I want you to drop both concepts, of doership and non-doership.

The point is to come to this neutrality.

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First Know There is Nothing to Fix

Firstly, know that there is nothing to fix. Because otherwise, you will give birth to this checker guy, who will say ‘Okay, when I do this, when I use this concept, this will happen to me. When I lose this concept, then the ‘me’ itself disappears’. You see?

‘I’ can be inventive in this way also. The bench-marking report-card guy is constantly into this…, ‘Okay, then, how do I get to peace?’

But, Right Now, I am in peace.

Q:Effortless.

A:Effortless.

Q:Even that inquiry happens…, though all these situations don’t apply to me, there’s no inference.

A:Yes. So, then we go from inference to insight. That is the voice of Your Intuitive Presence…, where that which was just conceptual, now you’re Seeing that ‘I have no boundary; there is no limitation’.

This is the voice of Your intuition; it’s the Satguru or Divine Presence in Your Heart. And this intuitive Presence can be trusted.

If there is still some question about whether it is mind posing as intuition, then forget it about it. Intuition is not in a rush.

You will See that the qualitative difference between the mental thought and your intuitive voice will be so clear; that this intuitive voice does not want me to take a position, is accompanied by so much spaciousness, is in no rush. It is accompanied by the prasad [gift/offering] of peace and contentment.

When you find that there is Love there, then know that it cannot be the ego.

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We Are Emptying Out All Concepts

Don’t make any conclusions. Because we’re emptying out all places, all concepts, where you can make a conclusion about yourself and rest on that, that ‘I am this way now. I am dropping more or I am picking up less’. You can’t make any of these conclusions. No interpretation about yourself is valid.

Because actually, we don’t know any of this. We don’t really know whether there was a past at all. You don’t actually know whether you came here or not by a car at all. Just like in a dream. We land in a dream; it could be the first dream moment you’re experiencing. But does it feel like you start every dream with amnesia? You just recognize the people around you. If someone were to ask you ‘How did you get here?’ …, if this was the first moment of your dream and I said ‘How did you get here?’ you would say ‘Yes, Father, I came on the bike’. It’s completely possible for us to have this interaction in that (which is the same as this) which we call the dream state.

So, we don’t know anything about the past. And this one we’ll regularly admit to…, we don’t know what the future is going to be like. So, better not to have any conclusion, even about what happened. Was that you who came on the bike?

Q: I have no idea.

A:This is the thing. We don’t even have to do all this exercise when you See that you are empty of all conclusions just now. [Silence]

And I’m here to hold your hand through this period of wobbly-ness, like ‘Without a concept, how will I survive? What will happen to my life?’ The fear of death, the fear of the unknown; in many ways, it comes like this. And our motivation to jump through these concepts…, ‘Oh, I did understand something! I want to hug that and stay with that; whatever knowledge I’ve picked up’ is also a reaction to that fear itself.

Very few will tell you in this world that ‘I’m not teaching you anything, actually’. All the words that are being used here are just so that you can empty your conceptual baggage. We’re not to make a new religion out of this.

Empty yourself of all conceptual baggage. If it is shaky and if you feel like you need to hold someone’s hand, come, hold my hand. If you want to hold my hand physically, hold my hand physically. If you want to hold my hand in your heart, it is there. But I’m here to tell you that if you go through this wobbly-ness for a little bit, that as you start to get used to it, nothing can shake you then.

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Can You Apply Any Label to What You Are?

A:Let’s really get into it now. That which you are finding yourself to be, can you apply any label to it? With full integrity, just check.

Q:But if I have to apply it …

A:… if you have to, yes.

Q:… then it is only ordinary. Otherwise even that is an argument, too. You can’t just say anything at all. When I open my mouth, the duality is gone.

A:So, suppose I was to say that it is completely extraordinary. Let me also try to be the lawyer for the extraordinary, for some time, and see if I can sell it to you.

It Is, but it cannot be seen.

It Is, but it has no attribute, no quality.

It Is, without all this light and sound, and yet It is the witness of all things. It Is no-thing and yet all intelligence arises from It.

It Is no-thing and yet without It no things are ever perceived. This extraordinary thing; extraordinary no-thing.

In that way, actually, because it is completely empty of quality, we can say on one hand it is completely ordinary like you said, but at the same time, we can say it is so extraordinary. That is why I was saying that actually…

Q:No cause and effect…

A:No cause and effect…

Q:… and no resolution of anything is even considered or promised or anything of that sort. It is just like ‘stand alone’.

A:Yes, because in expecting resolution, we are then posing again as the limited identity. The screen is not what we are complaining as, or the witness of the screen is not what we are complaining as (‘Why does this movie have to be so…?’) The screen is not complaining about the quality of the movie. And what happens in it? We first have to pick up the perspective of one of the characters in the movie and then we can say ‘I found that I am the screen, but why is my life not changing?’ That is the thing. So, in that, first you have to pick up the mask of the individual and then something like a resolution is there.

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Q:Because that one always moves towards a better scene, the better next scene. It is programmed in that way, given any choice. Though it will not make any difference but the actual tendency is to move towards a better scene.

A:If you see this, then you will also see that a better scene is not necessarily always compliant with the mind’s idea of better. [Chuckles] But you will find that one day when just innocent objectivity is there, you will find that no matter what was given to me or taken away (even phenomenally, as the character in the movie) you will have this report one day and you will say

(and it could be today, actually) you will say that ‘No matter what was given to me, no matter what was taken away, no matter what mistakes I made and what mistakes others made in my life, in this life I have had the blessing of coming to Bhagwan’s [Master’s] feet and nothing is worth more than that. So, what can I hold in my heart except gratitude for this grace?’

So, even the play of the character in the movie comes to this beautiful thankfulness. And then…, you know at the end of the play what happens? Everybody, even the villain of the play, all the protagonists, all the ones who were at logger-heads, then they join hands and they take a bow together. [Laughs] Then you have gratitude for all the co-actors, the seeming co-actors, in this play. You realize that at the end you come to this One and you see that you are grateful for Your own aspects for seemingly-doing all this to you and putting you in all this suffering and misery. And I can say this with full confidence about your [the questioner’s] play because even before you came to this Satsang you have been at Bhagwan’s feet. So, what is there?

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A Distant Cousin of Awareness: Attention

Q:Sometimes, I see that the seeing also happens from two places. I’m not sure if this is my imagination or true. This is what I want to check with you. Sometimes, I’m away from the place of the witness, being the subject and phenomena being the object. But sometimes, it feels like the Awareness is itself being observed; I’m no more in the place. The Awareness itself becomes like an object that is observing the world (weird though that is).

A:What happens is that when this phenomenal state is here (that which we call the waking state) then there is a power which is available here which is like a distant cousin of Awareness, which is called attention. [Chuckling] It’s a cousin because it is quite similar. It does not have a color, it does not have a shape, does not have a size.

So, when attention moves; suppose it moves from here to here to here. [Turning his head left, center, right] The attention moves to something, then it seems like different objects come to life. And as our attention goes to something, it can feel like ‘I went there. I went to my thought, I went to imagination, I was daydreaming, I was with this person, I was in satsang’.

So, basically it is so intimate that we confuse it with ‘I’ very often. This is what we are talking about; this attention, which is the power of phenomenal perceiving…, that which brings phenomenal objects to life. And it is so intimate to the Self that it can seem like it is ‘I’. So, this is perceiving.

If we were to check ‘Okay, where is this attention reporting back to?’ then you will find that it is reporting to the Self. This is unchanging. Whether attention went on this [pointing to the left] whether attention went on this [pointing to the head] whether attention came here [pointing to his chest] or even to Presence: Whatever the content is of what this attention is bringing, where is it being delivered? Who is attention reporting to?

Then you will find that it is just the Self. And this Self is always aware of the movement of attention.

Many times, we get caught up in the content of the attention and we feel we are there. So, that is one type of perceiving. We feel like ‘I am the content of what I’m perceiving’. And sometimes there is clear Seeing that ‘Whatever this attention might be bringing to me, it is only that I am just the Self’.

When we are identified with the content of our attention. it can feel like we are an object. Then we see that ‘I am empty of all limitation, empty of all boundary, empty of any physical attributes; I cannot make a picture of myself’.

So, this your experience of the non-phenomenal, non-experiential experience of the Self.

If you feel there is an object which you are finding, which is Awareness itself, then find out what is aware of that. Find out what is aware of that. And you will see that That which is aware of any object is itself not an object; and yet, it is You.

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This is the beauty of Satsang, when you See that You are not an object; and yet You Are. This is the most ordinary and most extraordinary discovery that you will make. Ordinary because it has always been this; there is nothing special in this. And extraordinary because you wonder how you ever considered yourself to be an object.

That which is beyond all states, beyond all gunas, beyond all attributes, all qualities, beyond any label you can out onto yourself; this is what You are discovering YourSelf to be…, in this most straightforward direct manner, with no rush, with no feeling like ‘I have to get it now’ or something like that. All these can come and go.

As you are coming to Satsang, you are finding out that what is being pointed to is just so obvious in its Truth. Yet, for the mind, it is completely unfathomable.

It is this dropping if the mind which can seem a bit wobbly. Dropping all conclusions from the mind can seem a bit wobbly. We are going from old positions to a new position; and now all positions are being discarded…, empty of any reference point about YourSelf.

Because nobody will be there to own this discovery that You are Awareness. Nobody will be there.

The mind will come and say ‘Yes, yes, I saw it!’ No, no, no. That one whose voice this is, is not You.

You will find Shanti beyond any concept of shanti. Peace beyond any peace which can be worldly. Joy beyond any concept of joy, beyond any objective joy; beyond even the joy of Your holy Presence. The Joy of the Truth.

[Silence]

Position-less, notion-less Existence, where all rights and wrongs have been dropped; because none of them apply to You. All has been part of God’s play.

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You Can Wobble for a Long, Long Time

A:That is a definite…, you can wobble for a long, long, long, long time.

Q:What is that ‘long’?

A:Many lifetimes; you can wobble for many lifetimes. Time is nothing for Consciousness. It chooses to play as the wobbly one, but usually if there is an admittance of the wobbliness, it is shorter.

Q: By an act of will can you just stop, once one says ‘I will not wobble anymore’?

A:That is when it increases. [Laughter] Usually it is found that when this notion comes that ‘I can get myself out of this wobbliness’ then that is how you prolong it. When it is ‘Oh, wobbliness, what is it to me?’ Or if the attitude is that of surrender, it’s like ‘Oh, Bhagwan has created this wobbliness. He must be wobbling and He will sort it out’…, then it can’t last for long. But if the ‘I’ comes in, the ‘I can solve it’ then that is a way of prolonging it. The mind itself takes it on and says ‘Oh, wobbliness, I will fix it.’

So, either in the surrender or the inquiry you find that ‘I am not wobbling; it is just a wobbliness which is happening, therefore I don’t have to do anything about it.’ Then we can say that it cannot really prolong. Because like with anything else phenomenal, it is based on whether we are believing a mental interpretation of it, which can then take a position and say ‘I will do it’ and very soon [gesturing coming forward in doing and then beaten back]. There are moments of full- on [gesturing confidence in doing] and then like [gesturing shrinking back] ‘No, I can’t do it, help me…’. In fact, that is the outward manifestation of this inner wobbliness. Until once you see that, whether the color of the cloud is grey or white, I am the sky, unaffected by it.

Ultimately it boils down to the will of Consciousness. If it wants to play as the wobbly one, it will play as the wobbly one. So, there is no distinction between when we say ‘Grace of the Master’ and ‘The play of Consciousness’ actually, because that is basically the Guru’s will or God’s will which is going to play out. So, if it wants to play as a limited entity fighting this wobbliness personally, it can play as that. But the funny thing is that in the play, upon hearing this, usually some space can come; that is also part of the design of the play. The Guru’s grace, or the seeming undeserved blessings that we get in the Presence of the Master is also part of the overall design of Grace itself. Nothing is outside of that and yet it is a beautiful part of the design.

Q:It rarely slips in that this is just Consciousness, this is just a play. It may seem very serious and feels like you don’t have any will; still it is a play. That is Itself, space.

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A:Exactly. Then the play gets a different quality, a different beauty; [but] it is a play never-the- less. But the play is unaccompanied by the idea that this is a personal play, and it is in this Seeing that ‘Actually this is just a play of Consciousness, Being, that is playing with light and sound;

Being is playing with all the gunas and qualities; Being is playing with all of these states of waking and dreaming and sleep’ then you experience the world unaccompanied by this constant ‘What’s in it for me? What’s in it for me?’ notion.

You will see that ‘I was playing it as if I was a person and that is also part of God’s play. Now I am playing it without the personal luggage, without this heavy school bag’. And it has a different lightness to it. As long as Consciousness wills for that play to continue, it will continue. When it wants to go to sleep, it will go to sleep.

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Inquiry of ‘Who Am I?’ Is the Greatest Blessing

I don’t feel like there is a greater blessing in this play than when we really look at the question ‘Who am I?’ Because when we look at the question ‘Who am I?’ we realize that ‘All of this that I was believing myself to be, I have never been that. All of these concepts, even the idea that ‘I will find freedom one day’ …, there is nobody like that.’

All there is, is All There Is.

And You Are That All There Is.

But not even just that;

You are beyond All There Is.

[Silence]

But even when this question ‘Who am I?’ comes, it doesn’t mean that the mind will stop doubting. Because immediately it will come and say ‘Ahh! Did I get it yet? Have I found it who I am?’ Because it is the same as what she was saying the other day. ‘I? …, ‘i’. Who am I? Did i find it?’ (This small ‘i’.)

[Silence]

What a joke it is! The one that never exists gets so much allegiance and the One that is All There Is [doesn’t]. ‘Yeah, okay, but what does that mean for me?’ [Laughs] Many times we are like this in Satsang. ‘Yeah, Father, to Awareness nothing is happening! I know that, but tell me about me.’

I Am …

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All Effort Is Imagined

We just are Here. You are Here. All effort is imagined.

For effort, to want to get somewhere, you have to take a position. A concept has to come. The idea has to come: ‘I must find freedom. I must do something. I must become a better person. ‘I must be…., whatever.’

But without that, what are you now?

That is why this is like the path-less path. And this is why it is frustrating for some, but joyous for others. Because many are looking for a path, like some way to get there. What this is, is to show you that there is nowhere to get to.

If your Presence, if your Existence, if your Being, needed some getting to…., if we had to walk a

hundred miles for God to be Here, then we would say ‘Yes, we need a path.’ But if God is Here. And like I say ‘If God is a God where we need to walk a hundred miles to get to it then it’s a pointless God. If God cannot be Here all the time effortlessly, then what kind of God would that be?’ So, we are finding That which is effortlessly present.

What is Here without judgment, without interpretation, without any knowledge or understanding?

If you need a concept to become That …, let’s take an example: Suppose I say ‘There is only the Self. Forget about all other concepts.’ Some can come so innocently into Satsang and say ‘Father, you said there is only the Self; forget about everything else. Done!’ Then I say ‘Okay, forget about the concept also that ‘There is only the Self.’ [Makes a shocked expression] [You might feel] ‘Ah, that’s a bit cheeky because I need something to hang on to.’

So, that’s why these very simple concepts have been given: ‘Tat Tvam Asi (You Are That), I Am That, Only Brahman Is, Only the Self Is.’ These very simple concepts have been given and you can hang everything else on this because everything else is subservient to this. ‘What does it matter, what do I have to do next, if only God Is, if only the Self Is?’ and ‘What does it matter what my bank account is, if only the Self Is? The Self will take care of itself in whatever way it wants.’

So, in Satsang we find some pointers like this, some direction like this, some instruction like this. But ultimately, even that is dropped away. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had this beautiful example of using the stick to burn the funeral pyre. But the stick is not left outside; it is also thrown into the fire. Everything is burnt. This is what I’ve been calling recently ‘Your notion-less Existence’.

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And this can feel a bit naked. It can feel like ‘I have no defenses’ and some fear can come. Some fear can come. So, then the mind will offer ‘No, no, no, this is too much, too much for me. Too much for me. Give me something that I can hold on to.’

Now, we can hold onto the Satguru’s feet, but don’t hold onto any concept. Ultimately, even the Satguru’s Feet is a concept, but for a while you will find some peace there, if there is fear in response. Sometimes there is joy in response. ‘Hah! There is no separation. All this is just being perceived within Me. What am I? Oh!’

Who was saying this? Joy herself was saying about joy the other day. [Making an amazed expression] ‘Oh, aah! Oh, aah!’ And it’s very enjoyable. But then a notion can come, like ‘This joy is the proof of your freedom.’ No, it is just another by-product.

No proof of your freedom is actually needed. Whether it is fear or it is joy. At least, the joy of Presence is incomparable to the usual objective joy; like the joy of having a very nice coconut. That is a different joy. There is some joy in tasting the sweet water, yes, agreed, but the joy of your Being, of Presence, of your Existence…, that’s a beautiful joy.

But there is an even deeper joy. Because even if you are experiencing this joy all the time, there comes a time where you’re done with it and you say ‘I want to go to sleep.’ No experience, even this most beautiful joy, is enough. No matter what you’re tasting in this world; it could be the most beautiful music (objective joy is not just the taste) it could be sound, it could be visual sight.

Then there could be a joy which is just within, arising with Your own Presence. But even that, when you’re done with the experience of all perception, there comes this sleep. Now the joy there is not a tangible. You cannot say ‘Oh, I went to sleep’. That itself conveys ‘I had a very nice sleep last night.’ Does it convey that it was a suffering experience or a joyful experience? Joyful. And yet can you say ‘Oh, you tasted some joy?’ No.

This is beyond the ‘concept’ of perceptual joy, of tasted joy. Yet, this is the Brahmanandam, the Joy of the Self Itself. So, this joy is not a tangible, not a held-onto joy. It is your very originality. It is the fragrance of Your Truth. It is ever-present. It’s Awareness. You can never say that it is suffering.

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Can the Ever-Present One Be Lost?

How many of you See that nothing has ever happened to Awareness? [Silence]

Then how come you feel that something has happened to you? [Silence]

So, there must be a belief that I am something other than the Self, something other than this primal Witnessing. That’s why in the Upanishads they say ‘Just be the witness.’ But even that has been misunderstood, that ‘I-personally must be the witness.’

So, I’d rather say: You Are the Witnessing. You can’t help it. If you wanted to leave YourSelf, you couldn’t.

Very simple things to say, but if you look at the world, you find that everyone is looking for themselves in one way or another. They may be apparently looking for money, they may be apparently looking for a partner, they might be apparently looking for a better body but they are actually looking for themselves. Because they say what? ‘I will be more complete.’ We want that completion. So, everyone is looking for themselves; looking for the Self.

But I say: Where did you lose it?

If you were not the Self right now, then I would say ‘Okay, let’s go looking for it.’ But the thing with the Self is, you can’t even leave it. It’s just that we might have picked up along the way (like we picked up a wrong idea about what I am) we picked up the idea that ‘I am just this body’ or ‘I am just this body and this mind.’ You might have also picked up an idea about the Self; an idea about God. And yet, what is your greatest idea about God? He is ever-present. Nobody says ‘I believe in a God who comes and goes.’ So, if He is ever-present, where must He be now? That which is ever-present, can it not be Here Now? If it is Here Now, where must we go look for it?

And as I’m using the terminology, I’m using God, Guru, Self (in this discussion, at least) inter- changeably. So, don’t worry about the terminology so much.

Now, will you find it…, if you go with your thoughts saying ‘Yes, yes, a little more this, a little more that, a little more clear Seeing. I’m not worthy yet.’ …, all of this? Is it true that the ever- present One can be lost just because your mind says it is lost and it has to be found?

Must you have to take a step to go anywhere to find That which is ever-present?

What are You Now?

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If you needed a notion to become God, a concept to become God, even the concept of God to become God, then God would not be ever-present.

So, then, what happened? [Chuckles] If it was so simple, so obvious, what has happened? How it is that we keep searching and searching and searching?

A simple example is coming to me. In the morning Aarthi that we do now, there is “Bhakt jano ke sankat kshan mei dur kare” …, “In a moment, all those who are devoted to You, You can take away all their suffering.” (Rough translation.) “In a moment, in an instant, all that we suffer from as Your devotees, You can take away.” Now, we have grown up with the next line being “Bhakt jano ke sankat” …, and then, next line “Jano ke sankat” which is almost synonymous. Now, we’ve been doing this Aarti for some time; and what happens? Every time we finish “Bhakt jano ke sankat” I still hear somebody saying “Das jano ke sankat.” Although, we know very well …, (and here also it comes).

So, this is the power of conditioning. We’ve repeated something over and over again, that ‘This is your body, this is your hand, this is your life, you must work hard, you must find the right partner…’ You see? The ‘you’ …, the ‘I’ has been stuck with this limited identity for so long that although we are Seeing the Truth about OurSelf, we are finding what we Are, it’s just the power of this conditioning has continued to play out.

That is why we continue to have Satsang every day, Monday through Friday, because I know that in a day you could pick up new conditioning. You could go totally notion-less from here, but tomorrow you could come back and say ‘Father, I left Satsang, and then this happened; he did this to me or she did that to me; this thing happened.’ Then we sit in Satsang for two hours every day and I say ‘Me who?’ …, ‘Me? There’s no ‘me’, Father.’ [Chuckles] ‘All of this is just appearances on the screen of my Being.’ You might leave from here, and yet the power of the old conditioning can come back. This is the design of this creation; the habit is like that.

That’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] says that Satsang is the rehab. Rehab for who? Rehab for God. From what? From this idea that ‘I am a limited entity.’ From the idea of the ego. Who is running the rehab? God is. For who? For God. Because there is only God. So, God decided to play this game of being an individual ego. It wanted to taste Itself in a limited form. Jokingly, we can say It got tired of being the unlimited. ‘This is too [boring]…, where’s the excitement in this? I can’t be hurt, there is nobody other than Me.’ [Chuckles] ‘Where is the excitement? I need some drama in My life.’ And the Lord said ‘Okay, I will play as all of these Beings and know the taste of being limited.’ Then He says ‘Enough, enough, enough. What am I?’ But even in the coming to this, It doesn’t want an abrupt end to this movie; doesn’t want it all to end suddenly. ‘I’m coming to My Godliness again. I’m dropping the notions; so many notions.’

Okay, whatever it might be, since you started coming to Satsang, a large percentage of the notions must have been dropped. I’m sure there could be some that still stick around; that’s okay.

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The sticky ones can still be there for some time. You might even have picked up new ones in Satsang. But at least this much must be there, that if you come openly for some time, many of your notions that you carried when you came are not there now. At least this much has to be true. Then, just to come to this notion-less Existence, God is dropping them.

Now, for some it happens in a flash. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] at 14 or 15 years old had this experience where he felt like he’s dying and he said ‘If I die, I want to be there to experience it. So, let me lay down and see what actually happens.’ And the Seeing that, in the openness to the death experience, it is the same thing that I say; the fear of the unknown, the wobbly, concept-less, notion-less Existence initially can seem a bit wobbly. But if you can just say ‘Okay, let me see what happens if I just go through this’ then you will see the wobbliness is no big deal for You. But, in going through that, for some like Bhagavan, was where all of this conditioning was dropped. But even then, what happened in Bhagavan’s life? For many years, he remained in silence. That marination that Guruji [Sri Mooji] talks about. Then, even to come to that notion- less Existence can seem like ‘What is there to speak? What words are needed?’ And then, Consciousness Itself puts words into that one’s mouth, saying that ‘Okay, it’s done in this expression, but I want to play as other expressions coming to this expression to hear: ‘What happened to you?’

‘I just dropped all my concepts about myself.’

‘But, what does that mean?’

[It means]:

What are you believing about yourself? Who am I?

Ask yourself.

Bhagavan said ‘Who am I?’

Is it true that you are who you claim to be?

That is the question ‘Who am I?’

Is there truth to this notion that you might be carrying about yourself, that you are the body, that you are the mind?

In asking ‘Who am I?’ all these concepts about yourself are dropped away.

Many come crying into Satsang, saying ‘I just don’t know. This is just so sad! I don’t know.’ And I feel so happy! Because ‘you don’t know’ means you’re empty of a concept about yourself. [Chuckles] You see? This is not bad news. It is only, again, the conditioning we’ve been taught in school, that ‘You must know this. Be prepared for your exam. Prepare so you can say what you got on your report card.’ So, if you say ‘In my report card I got an ‘I don’t know’ it feels like

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it’s the worst news. But it is very good news. Actually, don’t even know whether you know or not. That empty; notion-less-ly.

The fact is that even to come and report that you don’t know …, something brings you to Satsang. There is a Supreme Intelligence which knows the way to log into Zoom and how to come to the house. So, life continues to function in one way or the other. So, that which needs to be known, that which Consciousness needs to run this life, is already with Consciousness. Consciousness does not need the aid of thoughts. [Chuckles] And God [pretending] is saying ‘I don’t know the next thing I should have. Do you have some thoughts on it?’ [Chuckles] We do. But does it go according to those thoughts? Then what is the point of this plan? “The way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans.” [Well-known quote] [Laughter in the room]

There is no use for any notion. It is only if we consider ourself to be something which is limited; then we feel like we need some advice from this inner guide (posing to be a guide) the voice of our individuality.

So, first you put on a mask that ‘I haven’t got it. Please take me to freedom.’ The one with the mask, nobody can take to freedom. All it is, is ‘Is this true? Are you really who you claim yourself to be?’ [Silence] ‘Is your pretense of being the body true?’

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Is Awareness a Concept?

Q: Father, the Awareness being the overview…, this thing is also a concept, right?

A: Yes.

Q: Because that’s one way it gets stuck.

A:All concepts, even this distinction, qualitative distinction, between the hand and the finger- Awareness and Consciousness- the noumenal (the non-phenomenal) and the dynamic (or the phenomenal) is also a conceptual distinction that we make in Satsang, just to make the point clear. And ultimately, even this is thrown away.

So, whether Guruji [Sri Mooji] will call it ‘Is-ness’ or you call it ‘the Self’…, it’s the same thing.

Q:And being with Self is just being open to this moment fully.

A:And being closed to this moment is also being with the Self.

Q:I understand that.

A:We cannot leave the Self. But with Consciousness, we have to start using these conceptual boundaries, which means that when the dynamic aspect is just open to this moment fully…, or in the inquiry gets an insight about its Source…, that is the moment of waking up in the waking state or the awakening moment.

Q: So, when I hear the instruction ‘Just be with the Self, marinate in the Self’…

A:Simply don’t pick up the pretense of something that you are not. Simply put, it’s like that. Even if you do, you are the Self only, but you will pose ‘as if ‘you are something else. This is why we call it the ‘play’ of Consciousness.

Q: Father, the pretense is already picked up.

A:No, the pretense is dropped naturally every moment. I am happy we are having this conversation because, in this, are the primary doubts which we can get stuck with.

Show me what is picked up.

Without a going to a thought, is something picked up?

Naturally in your original state, are you Soumya?

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Q: No.

A: The pretense is not picked up.

Q: There is nothing; nothing can become that.

A:So, you need a notion of being somebody to pick up the pretense. That’s why the mind has the tougher job.

Q:So, the rapid movement of mind, before we realize that it picks up, makes it feel like it’s always picked up.

A:Yes. It’s just because the habit has been nurtured for so long, that the smoker is now saying that ‘I can’t help it. I have to pick up the cigarette.’ Once you come to the rehab, as you are coming, then you’ll find that ‘Ah, the hand is moving. Sometimes the hand picks up, sometimes hand just withdraws.’

So, belief is one of the primal forces that Consciousness has created for Itself as part of this play. And now Consciousness is withdrawing belief from Its individual identity.

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Am I Really an Object in this World?

A:What I am saying is ‘Is an individual an actual, tangible existence?’ Can you show me the individual?

Q:As far as I see, the consciousness level is different amongst the entire humanity and some people are more inclined for Satsang, some people are at the earlier state, some people are completely not even thinking about it.

A:So, just because the movie has many characters…, let us look at it as animation. You could have drawn out hundreds of characters; a Donald Duck is different from a Mickey Mouse and both have different interests, different things that they want to do. But the light of the projector is the same. So, are you that character? Or are you the light?

[Silence]

In your expression, all of this is there. But when you come to Satsang, we are open to this question that ‘Am I an object in this world? Am I really an object in this world? Or could it be that it is the other way around; the world is an object in Me?’

And you don’t have to have had the insight of this, but at least we must be open to this question. If it seems too far out, then this might not necessarily be the best Satsang to come to. [Chuckles]

So, just this much openness has to be there that ‘Am I really this person?’ If there is constant belief in this ‘person identity’ then is there some real basis to that belief?

Otherwise, we keep on working on improving the person, becoming a better person …, all of that (which has its place in the world). But there are millions and millions of places who are telling you to become better people. This is one place where I am saying ‘Can we question that basic assumption that you are a person first?’

And that ‘I don’t know’ is a little bit scary. So, we don’t know, in response to that fear, what the next move is going to be from Consciousness. If you can find that ‘I don’t know’ and yet something is open to the looking then you will see all these words that I am saying are not some fantasy when I am saying that ‘You are that Light of this universe’. It will be your direct, tasted experience. But initially that fear of losing the identity can come.

And once we see that ‘I am not a person, there is no individual entity here’ the myth about so many people in this world will also start to dissolve. Can it be that only I am not a person? [Chuckles] It cannot. Like, someone went to Guruji [Sri Mooji] a long time ago and she said ‘I can see that I am not a person, but I cannot believe that my husband is not a person.’ [Laughter]

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Once you really see that there really is no individual entity here, that all has been this play of light and sound, of Consciousness Itself…, then that is why we call it the leela, the leela of God. We also have seen that not a blade of grass in this leela moves unless it is the will of God.

Even if the person was there, what would be its role? If even the blade of grass is moving with the will of God, what is the person’s role? If every dialogue which is going to come from the actor’s mouth is going to be the will of Consciousness, what is the person’s role? If every hand movement is going to be the will of God, what is the person’s role?

So, it is something we have learned. We have learned to become a person. We have been taught by people around us, our parents and this mind has continually taught us that we are a limited entity, we are this person. And now, as we are checking, all these notions will fade away. Just a little sliver of openness and you will See.

Here [in Satsang] I don’t say to anyone ‘Believe my words’. You don’t have to believe my words. You just have to take one or two lines which you feel you find some resonance with in your heart and just look: Check if it is true.

I know you …, in your family these are strong words ‘Self-inquiry’ so they might be feeling like ‘I am not so attracted to this path’. But Self-inquiry is nothing like this.

It is just simply just checking. ‘Ananta said he has a thousand dollars cash prize for anyone who can show him ‘the person’ so can I win this prize? Let me produce this person which I believe myself to be and get a thousand dollars easy.’ [Chuckles] This much is Self-inquiry.

Who am I?

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This Is the Attraction of Our Notions

Q:This one that we call this entity is getting really strong.

A:Who is keeping track? [Chuckles]

Q:This has been a long, tough year, Father. [Sighs]

A:For who? [Chuckles]

Q: Just that one small thing starts and then I feel like…

A: Forget it!

Q: [Stammering]…

A: [Chuckles] Just forget it!

Q:The time…, [breaks out into laughter with the sangha and Anantaji] No, Father…!!!

A:You see, this is the attraction of our notions. I am saying: This moment is your new life.

There is no ‘you’ here. It’s gone.

Q: It’s not gone.

A:[Laughs] See?! This is how it operates. It’s very good. Actually, we are enjoying this because this is how it operates. Like, the mind came and told me one day, in the middle of inquiry

(everything became quiet, no notion, and it came and said) ‘Stop all this. I’ll give you a good life.’ You see? It will come up with all these things. ‘I want that!’ I’m saying: You Are That. And the mind is saying ‘I want that.’ Is it a worthy notion? What are you willing to exchange my words for? [Jokingly]: (Okay, let me put some emotional blackmail into this.) [Chuckles] Which notion, from your mind, are you willing to exchange my words for?

I am saying You Are Free, there is nothing to be done, there is nowhere to go, no ‘imaginary- you’ has ever lived.

Q: I want these words to be Real, every moment.

A:They are Real, every moment. It is true. I’m not lying even a little bit.

[Silence, darshan]

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What Do We Mean by Knowing?

What do we mean by ‘Knowing’? We can have a concept that the sun is so many miles away from the earth. We could have a concept that there are so many trillion stars in the sky. It’s just a concept. Nobody has counted the trillion stars. It’s a concept from credible sources; it’s a concept that we picked up. Now, another credible source will come tomorrow, the next greatest scientist, saying ‘No, there are not so many trillion stars there are only ten million.’ So, we can have a new concept.

Why I’m sharing all this is because a lot of us feel like we’re spiritual because we have a lot of spiritual concepts. But it is not a true Knowing; it is a concept. ‘There is a Source, there is a God.’ It’s okay, it makes us feel better; whatever the reason we might have for having that concept.

So, this is conceptual knowing; just a concept. You don’t have a direct taste of it, even phenomenally.

The second is perceptual knowing, that which our senses are bringing to us. That there is coconut in front of me, there is a computer, all of you are sitting here; it’s being perceived. But if you ask the scientist, if you ask those who are into quantum physics, they will say all of this is just projection; all if this is just empty space actually. We are just seeing some play of light. Scientists now question our perceptual knowing.

Then what is emotional knowing? ‘I’m feeling so sad, sometimes I’m feeling so happy’ …, these changing emotions.

So, what is That which is prior to, or more original than, all of this knowing?

To know your Existence, which of these did you use?

Do you need a concept ‘I exist’ to exist or to know that you exist?

Did you see a visual of this existence?

Did you hear the existence?

Did you taste it in that way?

Is it an emotion you felt?

So, what is it that knows? What kind of Knowing is that which Knows my Existence and Knows that this Knowing Is? (I know at some point it becomes a bit subtle.)

So, not only is there a Knowing of this Existence …, but a Knowing that there is a Knowing of whatever it might be; including Existence. It is Knowing Knowing Itself.

Awareness is always Self Aware.

It has never forgotten Itself.

It is just the Knowing of Itself alone actually.

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So, this Knowing (this Knowingness, which we usually call Awareness) is not about phenomenal conceptual knowing, phenomenal perceptual knowing or emotional knowing. It is That which is prior to all of this; that Knowingness Itself.

So, all this phenomenal type of knowing we cannot really rely on. There is no Truth which is the unchanging Truth about this.

But what about this Knowingness Itself, That which knows your Existence?

No concept is needed, no perception is needed, no emotion is needed.

[Silence]

That’s why I say, when I ask you the question ‘Are you aware now?’ …, did you have to refer to a concept, a perception, an emotion to come to the ‘Yes’?

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You Cannot Not Be That

So today, what are we doing? [Chuckles] Are we pretending to have the bondage problem and then working towards our freedom?

Are we going to see that there is nobody that is bound; and yet play with bondage for a bit and then leave it?

What is the other ‘seeker’ position?

Are we going to play with ‘I got it yesterday; today I lost it?’ or ‘I’ve never really got it’?

None of these are true about You. You are only misunderstanding what is here. You feel like (or you believe) that ‘I am just a person…, sitting on the floor, sitting on the couch, sitting in the Zoom’. [Name of the platform used for online Satsang].

But this starting point itself is not true. No ‘person’ is sitting here. It’s just an invented idea; just a notion.

So then, if no ‘person’ is there, then what to do with ‘That’ which IS there? Let’s give ‘That’ a name. ‘That’ which is there, what do you want to call it? Do you want to call it God? Do you want to call it Consciousness? Do you want to call it Satguru, Being, I Am? You choose.

Everyone is with me so far? No ‘person’ is there. With me so far in that? Do you find it? [If you do], you come and claim your thousand dollars. [An ongoing joke where there is a $1,000 reward for anyone who can show that a ‘person’ exists].

It’s not. And yet, I Am. I Am. It’s a qualitative experience; ‘I exist’. Even to say ‘I don’t exist’ can happen only within Your Existence.

So, I Am. Now what do you want to call this ‘I Am’? Whatever we call it doesn’t really matter.

Now what is this ‘I’ that is ‘Am-ing’? Some of you have been with me and some are new, so this terminology might seem a bit strange. But a simpler way to ask this is: ‘Who is even aware of this Being?’

‘What is it that is aware of my Being?’

‘Who is the ‘I’ that now ‘Am’?’

Does that have a name?

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Does it have a shape, size, color; anything?

Now, you cannot not be ‘That’. You cannot leave ‘That’.

You cannot become this which we have been believing ourself to be.

So, when in some forms of spirituality, it is about ‘killing the ego’ or ‘demolishing the ego’ or ‘the ego must be killed’ it is talking about this ‘I’ [person]; ‘Kill the ‘I’.

Here we See that ‘Has it ever really been?’

Where is it; this person? Where is it?

[Silence]

The one that cares about freedom, where is he?

In this? [Touching his head]

In this? [Touching the arms]

In this? [Touching the hands]

In this? [Touching the chest]

Where? Where?

In the pockets? [Laughs]

Where is that one hiding?

Produce the one that wants freedom.

Found it?

Not there; you see? It is not there.

It never has been.

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The Expectation Has to Be Surrendered

Life is always just life. We can say ‘Life is always perfect’ but actually the word ‘perfect’ has a wrong connotation at times. So, better to say ‘Life is just life’. Because when you say ‘perfect’ then you’re imagining some utopian sort of ideal.

Life is always just life. But to suffer life, you have to have a limited notion about yourself.

Because I know that you are God (because I know that I am God) and God cannot suffer. But when I believe myself to be something limited, everything can become an opportunity to suffer. [Silence]

But once you start (when Consciousness Itself starts) to enjoy Its notion-less Existence, it’s very rare for It to go back to feeling feverish about notions.

So, I’m also reassuring you: Try it. You’ve tried the way full of concepts for long, now try this concept-less way.

And if you have a report that ‘You said this, and since then, my life has become a full mess’ [Laughs] then we can talk about it.

It has happened with me. [Laughs] You remember American Lucia? I had this Satsang with her where I told her that ‘Your concern is that if you hand over your life to God, He’s just going to make a mess of it, or a hash of it.’

She said, ‘Yes, yes Father, that is fine. This concern, I am surrendering it.’ (Or something; this is what I remember, that ‘I’m surrendering it.’)

The next day she came to Satsang and she had this pretend anger with me [Makes a mock angry face] and she said, ‘Anantaji, I’m very angry with you today.’

‘Huh?’ I said, ‘What happened?’

She said, ‘You said to hand it over to God and I’ve been a practicing psychotherapist for 20 years; I’ve never missed an appointment, and I handed it over to God and for the first time in 20 years, I missed an appointment.’ She said, ‘I gave it over to God and He messed it up.’ [Laughs]

So, this giving it over to God cannot be done with an expectation of what a mess-up is or not. This is not a cop-out. It is not an excuse. But if we still have an idea of ‘What my life should be’ then that is not surrender at all. So, it is that expectation which has to be surrendered. It’s not a cheat code to getting your desires.

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‘I’m just going to hand over to Guruji, and then Guruji will make sure I have a million dollars in my bank account, he’ll make sure I have the perfect partner or my meetings go on time.’ [Chuckles] It’s not that.

So, the idea that ‘I am the doer’ and the idea that ‘I am the experiencer’ are both surrendered. ‘Twam Karta Twam Bhogta’ means ‘You [God] are the doer’ and ‘You [God] are the experiencer’.

And this ‘You’ will be seen to be ‘I’ only, ultimately; it’s fine. But in the spirit of surrender, it means ‘You [God] are the doer and You [God] are the experiencer’.

Who am I? All of this is Your game, Your play. You are playing with YourSelf. True surrender is to surrender this ‘me’ (this identity). Then you start to see that there never was this ‘me’ anyway. The surrender-er was just a play by Consciousness Itself.

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Grief is Another Aspect of Consciousness

Q:Father, can you talk about dis-identification from suffering? My aunt died several hours ago. In this moment, I am having trouble with identification.

A:So, when an event has happened, then we must not have an expectation that ‘Grief should not come now, because I am becoming free’. Grief is also part of the natural functioning of this existence. So, allow room for this grief to come. But see if there is ‘a one’ who is grieving.

[Silence]

So, in the grief, grief can be felt; but the griever is not there, the sufferer is not there. And then, what you will discover in this, is that in your Being, there is so much space…, and all this grief can come but it doesn’t make a scratch on Being. It only seems to dent the identity which was never real anyway.

[Silence]

Only your notions about yourself can be attacked.

[Silence]

So, grief is another aspect of Consciousness which can be allowed to come and go. All the flavors in this entire spectrum of sensations, Consciousness is playing this way to taste all of this; sometimes joy, sometimes grief.

So, don’t confuse the arising of a sensation or an emotion to be an identification. When you pick up the idea that ‘I am suffering’ then that is identification. Before that, it is all just moving sensations on the screen of Consciousness.

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Let´s See This Fear Through Together

Q:When I was very young, I feared the void I felt to be inside of me, not to be ‘me’. Therefore and thereafter, I started to collect dispositions and characters to build a ‘me’. I felt as a kid that I needed a character to function in the world. It is now returning around of that path.

A:Exactly…, exactly. That is why Jesus said ‘Only the children will enter the kingdom of Heaven.’ The ‘children’ doesn’t mean that this enlightenment is only a possibility for those who are less than seven. It means that those who are innocent; the same innocence, empty of concepts, empty of notions.

So, you absolutely right when you say ‘Actually, Satsang is this turning around’. We picked up conditioning, because the Truth was very apparent. In fact, many of us, if we were to report about our childhood will say ‘Father, yes, it was so apparent to me when I was a child’. So now it is just this. We picked up so many notions and conditions and now they are being dropped.

And yet, there is something in this play of having been deluded and then freeing; Consciousness having been deluded and then freeing Itself from the delusion. It seems to cause some delight for Consciousness. So, it is that returning to the innocence.

The fear of it, yes. This is what I have been talking about for the last few days also, that whether we call it the fear of death, or we call it the fear of the unknown, I am here to tell you that if this fear is there, I am happy to hold your hand and tell you that this fear was experienced here, this wobbliness was experienced in full intensity here, but my Master was holding my hand. So, I am holding your hand. If you are here physically, I am physically holding your hand. If you are not at a physical proximity, I am holding you here in my Heart and I am telling you that the fear is unfounded.

Even if it feels like you are dying (and the moment you are empty of the next notion, it can feel like this for many of us, that death is coming) this is only the death of the pretend one. Don’t let any interpretation of this fear make you believe another concept about yourself.

In fact, one of the primary reasons why having a living Master is so beneficial is that he can take you through this fear, reassuring you that nothing will happen to you. This fear is very primal. And yet, for those of you who are not experiencing it, please don’t make it another benchmark ‘Ooo, I haven’t yet gone through that fear so I must not have got it yet’ [Laughter] or something like that. That is why I said usually it is a common thing to experience this fear; it can feel like the fear of death. [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj at one time said until you have gone through your death you will not find freedom. This is what he meant.

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So, I am here for that, my dear. I am here to tell you that no fear, no matter how big it is, is not stronger than your Being; it is not stronger than the Satguru’s Presence. Let’s see this fear through together. [Silence] All is taken care of.

I know that sometimes I can say these things very simply and say ‘Just don’t pick up a notion; be notion-less’. But I know that, in the face of this notion-less-ness, many times strong fear can come; fear of the unknown, not knowing what is going to happen. It can feel like ‘I am dying; this is the end of me’. It is not. You are discovering that you are endless, you are deathless. I am here to tell you that I have seen this through and so can you; and so are you. That is why very simply I say ‘Don’t fear the fear’. Let as much fear come.

Sometimes, very simple, almost truisms, are helpful with this, like ‘Tell the fear how great Guruji is’.

[Silence]

And there are various responses to this fear. Sometimes we might say ‘No, no, I am done with this, it is not for me. I am not ready yet. I am going to come back later.’ Or ‘I don’t want this, this is too much.’ For some, they latch onto some spiritual concept and say ‘Yeah, yeah, I got it’. Actually, in the moment of some insight, some fear is coming and you almost recoil because of that fear and say ‘Ah, yes, yes that was it, I got it; that was it.’ So, we are referring to some experience over and over again from the past; then, know that this one is just like recoil. Because if you have to refer to it from the past, what you are actually saying is that you are not that Now. There are some who get caught in this whole thing that they keep talking about some experience they had, like an awakening experience. There is no big deal in that. You are That Now. So, this fear can come with various responses.

By the way, like I was saying the other day, it is not always fear. Sometimes it can seem like a joyous excitement also. ‘Ah! I am not this body, I See it. Ooo…, Aah…, it is so nice. Nothing contains me, I am beyond all things. Ooo…’ As I say it, I am feeling that excitement, that joy of not being contained.

Sometimes this joy can come, many times the fear can come, but whatever is coming, know that it will pass. Don’t get too scared, or don’t get too attached with any of the by-products. Some get very attached to the bliss also of an experience and say ‘That was when I was free!’ No, no, that was the time when bliss was coming. It has nothing to do with the Reality of You.

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With Integrity: What Does ‘I’ Mean for You?

This is mainly what we are speaking about; mainly: What does ‘I’ represent for you?

[Silence]

What does ‘I’ represent for you?

So, when [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘Integrity is very good’ this is what he meant. With integrity, true to your Heart, what does ‘I’ mean?

[Silence]

And if that ‘I’ still means something, ‘I am something, somebody, some thought, some feeling, some event, some awakening, some spiritual experience’ then it is still ‘something’…, ‘I am something’.

And I don’t mean conversationally. Conversationally, you can still say ‘I am here. I am going there. I came from here, I went there.’ But what do you mean, seriously, with integrity?

Does it still mean a set of sensations for you is ‘I’? That which we call the body is nothing but a group of sensations, a group of visual perceptions and other intimate-seeming sensations. Is that ‘I’?

What about the actions that emerge from here? ‘I did this. I did not do that.’ Are you the sum of your actions, your inactions? Is that ‘I’?

Or are you another set of sensations; that which we call ‘feelings’? ‘I am feeling good, I am feeling bad, I am feeling guilty, I am feeling joy, I am feeling bliss.’ Do these represent ‘I’? Okay, not even this.

Then, do these states define you? ‘I am in the waking state. I am awake. I am asleep. I am dreaming. I am daydreaming. I am imagining. I am remembering.’ Are you the object of some state?

So, when I say that all confusion is confusion about ‘I’ this is what it means. We might think it is about something in life; some event that happened or didn’t happen. We might think it is because of some idea of doership, of some feeling, of some thought. But at the root of it is confusion about ‘I’. Actually, at the root of it is a presumption about ‘I’. ‘I am something.’

Now, be honest with yourself. Be honest with yourself and expose in your own light what ‘I’ represents for you. (You don’t have to share it in chat, don’t have to speak it out.)

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Just in Your own Light, look at what ‘I’ represents or means for you.

Even if it is a very high-sounding concept like ‘Awareness’ …, if it has become a label…, Awareness does not mean the label ‘Awareness’. The Self does not need the label ‘Self’. But notice about yourself and check if these labels have become more important than your insight.

Who does ‘I’ represent?

And if there is a notion ‘I am something’ (whatever that ‘something’ might be) then all of spirituality is for that ‘something’. The design of spirituality is so that this ‘something’ can be washed away.

So, what to do with this ‘something’? If it is a blank…, if it is not even a blank, it is just no- thing…, then no instruction is actually needed. This is your notion-less Existence, Right Now.

But if that ‘I’ still represents ‘something’ then Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi has said to surrender or to inquire. (I hope I’m making it very clear). If the ‘I’ still represents something, then the best, as he says, is to surrender or to inquire; or both, depending on your temperament.

Now, what is this? In this Aarti which we just sang, there is a line which says ‘Tan, man, dhan, sab kuch hai tera’ which means ‘Body, mind, wealth, everything is Yours’. And this is from their definition of wealth which means ‘Anything which is worldly’…, ‘Everything is Yours’.

Whatever that ‘something’ represents, we put at God’s feet, at the Satguru’s feet (the same thing). Whatever your Heart feels even a little bit of openness or devotion for, it can all be offered up in your Heart altar, in your inner citadel. All ‘something’ is offered there. That is surrender.

Some might say that ‘This surrender sounds like make-believe to me. How can it actually work? It’s not logical.’ You’re of a different temperament. So, then the Sages have said to inquire.

What does it mean to inquire? All the clues that I posted the other day are for this inquiry. Whatever that ‘something’ might be. If you feel like you are the body, what is the witness of that? The sensations that you are calling the body, who witnesses those? You feel like you are some feelings. Is That which witnesses these feelings also a feeling? If you feel like you are some thoughts, what witnesses those? This is inquiry. To inquire ‘Who am I?”

So, whether you inquire in this way (‘Who am I?’) or you inquire as ‘neti, neti’ / ‘not this, not this’ …, which means, whatever the clue is, recognize That which is the unchanging. If that is the clue, then you go layer by layer. You say ‘The world is changing, so I am not this. The body

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is changing, so I am not this. Emotions are changing; I am not this. What remains as my very Existence? Is that changing? Or unchanging?’ And this must come from your own insight.

What witnesses all of this changing?

Is that Itself changing? Or unchanging?

And you will find that as you inquire with openness, the representation of the ‘I’ (‘I am something’) starts to fade away, dissolve, more and more. All these false notions about YourSelf cannot survive in the light of Your own inquiry.

So, ‘Witnessing’ must mean just that opening to allow these notions to be surrendered or to be inquired into. Even your most highly-held spiritual notions. And it is completely, completely possible for you to recognize this.

Now, even better news is that whatever might be the seeming-product of your inquiry is already Your natural state Now.

If you feel that you will get something as a result of surrender or inquiry, forget about even that. Because whatever you feel you could get is naturally present Here. You are whole and complete.

But if you are infected with the ‘But…’ (‘But…, but…, I am free, but…, I am the Self, but…, I am Awareness, but…’) then all of spirituality is designed for just this ‘But…’ only to bring you to your originality, to your naturalness, Right Now.

You will not become God because you cannot become That which You Already Are. You will not become the Self because you cannot become That which You Already Are.

So, what is the way to put down this mask? As long as you feel that the mask is real, you can surrender the mask or inquire into the reality of the mask.

So, if you look at Satsang, most of Satsang is an invitation to surrender. Whether we say ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ or whether we say ‘Allow everything to come and go’ or whether we say ‘Remain open, remain notion-less’ it is just an invitation to let go of this concept; this representation of ‘I’ which could mean ‘something’ for ‘you’.

Now, whatever that ‘something’ might be, even if it is a highly-held spiritual notion, in the design of the play, it will be attacked and it will cause the psychological state called suffering. This is what Papaji [Sri Poonja] meant when he said ‘Be vigilant till the dying breath.’ It only meant that when the pinch of suffering is coming, notice that the ‘I’ represents ‘something’ and surrender that ‘something’ or inquire into its reality. In this way, vigilance is not like you have to become like the night-time security guard or something. ‘Look. Who’s coming? What’s coming? Is that a thought? Is that a feeling?’ [Chuckles] Not like that. That doesn’t sound very free at all,

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does it? It is only that when something is pushing our button, we’re not getting into some sort of an Advaita denial of it…, and we’re happy to expose it in the Light of our own Being. That is vigilance.

Haven’t you seen now in the sangha for those who have been in Satsang for a long time, you’ve seen this happening. Isn’t it? ‘Father, this is what’s happening to me, but actually, I know nothing is happening to me; I’m Awareness. I feel this, I think this, but actually I’m Awareness.’ So, this conflict of playing with two opposite notions is causing this inner war. That is why I don’t want even the concepts, the great concepts like ‘I Am That’ and ‘You Are That’ or ‘I Am God, I Am Awareness’. These should not become concepts because they will only participate in your conceptual war; either with the world or with yourself.

So, using Bhagavan’s [Sri Ramana Maharshi’s] metaphor, this is the stick which has been used to light the funeral pyre but throw the stick also into the fire.

Now, many of you have heard it many times, and you say ‘Yes, it is this ‘something’ which is identity, which is the ego, which is the source of all suffering. And I see that as I surrender it, as I remain open, as I inquire, I find that this ‘something’ is meaningless. I cannot be that which I have believed myself to be.’ You are coming here.

Now, many of you will report that here there is some fear or wobbliness or something. It seems like this is the withdrawal symptoms from the idea of ‘something’. I’m telling you that Satsang is here every day so that you can get over these withdrawal symptoms. Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] rightly uses the term ‘naked’. It can feel too naked all of a sudden to be without a concept, to be without a notion of yourself. And that is why we rush to picking up something from the past. ‘Father, it was so clear yesterday but then something happened; my partner said this (or) my children said this (or) somebody said this and then all this happened to me.’ All of this, whether you realize it or not, is an escape from this fear. Or even if you say ‘Ananta, today, today, today I really got it! This is it, man. Today I’m really hearing you for the first time and I really got what you are saying!’ And I’m saying ‘It is not even that.’ [Chuckles] Even this can be an escape from the fear of being concept-less, notion-less. The ‘I’ which represents someone who got it is as much fake as the ‘I’ who represents someone who hasn’t got it yet. Both are not true.

So, if there is wobbliness, we will wobble together; it is completely fine.

For some it is fear. There might be others who say ‘I have no such fear so I must not be getting what he’s saying.’ [Chuckles] But it is not a prerequisite. It can be completely sober. ‘All this ‘something’ was false. There never was a ‘something’ that I was.’ It can be a simple recognition.

Or, for some of you (and some have reported also) big joy can come. ‘Ah! I’m none of this. I’m so beyond.’

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So, what comes as the side-effect, as the by-product, don’t allow even that to make a representation out of You.

Now, there are some temperaments where neither surrender makes sense nor inquiry is making sense, but you might feel like ‘I just like coming here. I just like coming to Satsang. I have no idea what he’s saying. I have no idea about this ‘I am something’ or what is going on; nothing. But I like coming.’ And that is fine.

But there might be some (and especially if you’re new) who might feel like ‘Surrender, no…, inquiry, no…, and I don’t even like coming here. I don’t even like this guy’s face or his voice; nothing. Somebody told me ‘This is very good’. My friends told me or my family. And I’m just here.’ And you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to torture yourself. Because what you will end up picking up from Satsang is a new set of concepts. [Silence] That’s why I’ve told all of you ‘Don’t force anyone to come.’ Just, allow gently. And don’t be affected by it; what they might report about it. Because you might invite someone to Satang and you might feel like ‘Today it was really good, wasn’t it?’ and you ask them, and they are like ‘No, it was all nonsense. I didn’t get anything.’ [Chuckles] And that is fine.

In the play of conditioning, in the play of temperaments, every play is unique. And some will play with other ways to rid themselves of this ‘something’ …, whether it is chanting, whether it is some other meditation technique, whether it is some hatha yoga; it doesn’t matter. Consciousness is taking care of Itself.

But if you are in this place now where it seems like ‘I can look, I can check ‘Who am I?’ (or) I can sense that I don’t know who I am but I know that my life is the Satguru’s problem’ then the recognition of this truth is already starting to become apparent.

So actually, in this short time, we’ve encapsulated this entire quest for freedom. All the clues for your inquiry are available. Because to inquire, it seems like we need one master concept (which ultimately will be thrown into the fire) …, something which seems to light the say.

Who am I?

Can the perceiver be perceived?

What witnesses all things?

Can that itself be witnessed?

What is the unchanging one?

Is there something which is unchanging?

What does not have a boundary (either of time or of space)?

What is beyond the four states? [Waking, dreaming, deep sleep, turiya]

Now you don’t have to remember all these clues. Just anything, any one which appeals to your Heart, you can take.

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And for any of those to whom this sounds like it’s too much effort or something like this, just let everything go. But just to say ‘I’m letting everything go’ is not enough. Nothing can be your problem now. That is why Guruji [Sir Mooji] uses camphor in the fire ceremony. Let your surrender leave no residue. Nothing is yours. And here, you will See that surrender and inquiry are the same. ‘Nothing is yours’ and ‘You are no-thing’ are two ways of saying the same thing.

Now, I’ve made it very simple for all of you. I feel like I’ve made it very simple; that all confusion is confusion about the ‘I’ and behind that is the representation of ‘I as something’.

So, confusion means suffering. And I’ve even defined what suffering is: grievances, resentment, pride, guilt. All these psychological afflictions are ‘suffering’.

The basis for all of this is a misunderstanding about who we are. How to find if there is a misunderstanding about who I am? Check for yourself and see who this ‘I’ represents. And today in Satsang, we’ve broken down all these things and looked at what it could represent and how to let go of this notion of misrepresentation.

That’s all actually there is to it.

[Silence]

But you might say ‘But what about the Self?’ When we are empty of the notion that ‘I am something’ …, the Self is apparent. You don’t have to take a step.

The Self is apparent to You, Right Now.

You might not believe it, but I don’t need your belief. Your belief is only to something conceptual. The Self is not conceptual.

You Are the Self, Right Now.

Whatever the mind might be saying, whatever emotion might be saying, whatever body pain you might have, whatever might be happening in your life…, You Are the Self.

And this is apparent to You until You start playing with your mask. Even as You are playing, it is apparent to You, but then You play as if you are something individual.

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The Mind Is Not Designed to Trust

Q: My mind doesn’t trust that without its control bad things will happen.

A:Yes, the mind isn’t designed to trust, so the mind will always give you messages like ‘What will happen without your control?’ or ‘You better take charge of your life’ and all of these things. But it has given all these messages for so many years; 30, 40, 50, 60 years at least that you remember; actually, millions of years. Has it has been able to sort it (as it is all your life in all these years)? With its seeming control, is life so good?

So now, try it my way. And the struggle will be if you try to sit on both these chairs at the same time, my way and the mind’s way. If you try to mix up both of them then you will suffer in Satsang, you will struggle in Satsang, you will throw tantrums in Satsang; all this will happen.

I said the other day, you can either surrender or you can be Frank Sinatra singing ‘My way’. [Chuckles] To have a Guru means that you have no way. To have a Guru means that you are returning to your infancy where you didn’t know how you were going to run your life, and yet life was taking care of you. And from an infant, from this infancy, you will See that you are God. A grown-up cannot see that ‘I am God’. From this infancy, you will See that you are even higher than that. But as long as we trust the mind’s way, it will get in the way.

So, don’t worry about changing the quality of your mind; this one is designed to be like that, to convince you of your individuality. It is a beautiful design of Consciousness; designed to convince That which is unlimited that it is limited; designed to convince That which is timeless that it is born and will die. So, don’t worry about changing this one mind. Let this one come and go, say whatever it likes…, but you remain empty; empty of any notion, empty of any concept about yourself.

It is completely possible! If it were not possible, why would I say it every day? Then I must be the most deluded one. [Chuckles] Consciousness would not bring this Satsang to you every day if what was being shared was something which is beyond your grasp.

Then you said ‘Bad things will happen. No existence-filled fragrance or help for me.’

It is Here. Your Presence is Here. Our Being is One. The Satguru’s grace is always there for you, reminding you that everything is taken care of. But it will never molly-coddle any idea about yourself. Sometimes it can seem like, to a child, that the parent is being so mean almost. The parent is saying ‘Just go beyond this, look beyond…, into what You Are.’ And the mind could be screaming ‘But can you take care of the me? Can you take care of the me?’ And the parent is saying ‘But this is not You; this is just an idea you have about yourself, it is your imaginary friend.’

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Can You Be Somebody Without a Thought?

If you had to be somebody, can you do it without a thought? If Radha has to be Claire and Claire has to be Radha, how will you do it? You would have to pick up some Claire thoughts, have to pick up some Radha thoughts; some ideas about who you are. Without that, you cannot do it.

In fact, you are not anybody right now. Can it be this simple? …, that the ego that you are trying to get rid of, you are rid of it?

If you are done with all concepts about yourself, what is there to do?

I often say that if this was the last page of your autobiography and the pen just stopped (or the keyboard just stopped typing) …, nothing more to write, not even one last ‘I’m free’. [Chuckles] Not even that. Not even one last ‘I got it, finally’. Nothing. You just lost all sense of identity and nothing you can say about yourself no longer feels like the Truth. Not even ‘Are you okay with this?’ because if we are asked ‘Are you okay with this’ …, not even that. Just stopped! …, mid- sentence. [Chuckles] Nothing to report, nothing to complain, no more interpretation of any feeling…

Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Who are you without your story?’

What are you without the concepts about yourself? Are you somebody?

We learned this; how to be somebody. We have learned this bad habit. We have been told ‘You must be somebody’. Now that ‘somebody’ is trying to be a ‘nobody’. And we’ve seen this, isn’t it, in Satsang. ‘I am just trying to be nobody; I’m just trying every day.’ [Chuckles] That somebody is trying to be a nobody. God pretending to be a person pretending to be God.

Drop one notion now. Whatever notion you want; one of your favorites, preferably one that starts with ‘but…’

If it is too simple, I can complicate it a bit. [Chuckles] I can bring big words like Consciousness and Awareness into the picture. Actually, you don’t need any concepts.

Show me your boundary.

Where do you stop?

Where is your boundary?

Seriously.

Is your boundary inside the body?

Is the body your boundary?

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Is your boundary outside the body?

Is it outside this room?

Where do you start and where do you end?

Yesterday I was asking all of you ‘What does ‘I’ represent for you?’ [Silence] Bring it into your own Light. There is no need to explain it, there is no need to proclaim it. Does ‘I’ represent something?

I have also been encouraging all of you to say ‘I’ (say ‘I’). [Laughs] What does this ‘I’ represent? And I don’t mean conversationally; I mean seriously, with integrity: What does it represent for you?

This is an inquiry worth doing.

What are the options?

Is ‘I’ a set of sensations which you call the body?

Is ‘I’ just a name? …, just a name pointing to nothing?

Is ‘I’ a representation of all your memories?

Who is this I?

Is ‘I’ an object called Awareness?

Is ‘I’ a thing called the Self?

Because many times, even these can become concepts: ‘Oh I am the Self’, ‘What do you mean by Self?’

‘No …, I …, the Self.’ [Shrugs shoulders]

Who are you?

‘I am Awareness. There is Awareness behind.’ [Laughs] Behind what?

‘Behind everything’.

These ideas.

Who does the I represent?

Guruji says ‘Bring the ‘I’ to the witness box.’

Who will you bring?

And if you don’t know who you will present in the witness box, how can that witness have a story?

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This is the play. The story seems so tangible. ‘The ‘I’ I cannot find; my story seems real, the me is not there.’ All one big make-believe.

What will you lose, really, if you lose all your concepts? If you lose all your concepts, you will lose all your grievances, your resentment, your story, your pride, your guilt, your suffering.

Is any concept worth all of this?

What about the concept of ‘me’?

How much suffering are you willing to endure to be ‘me’ …, to be’ the best me; the best, the best, the best me’?

The minute you pick up the idea of ‘Mr. me’ or ‘Mrs. Me’ or ‘Miss me’ you pick up the idea of desire, of doership, of duality.

Can you find the one who never wanted anything at all?

How long will you let a group of sensations, an interpretation of a group of sensations, convince you that it is You? (The body … the body…)

Suppose we ignore the term ‘the body’ …, that every sensation is experienced independently. Ignore the overriding concept called ‘the body’. There is no body. If you did not have the concept of ‘world’ …, no concept of world, no concept of body; every sensation experienced independently…

This is your experience, actually.

This voice is being experienced, this visual is being experienced, but is there a ‘me’ who is doing it and a ‘you’ that is experiencing it? These are conceptual. This is our training, this is our conditioning. ‘I am just this set of sensations; the other set of sensations is the world.’

This is not original to us, this is not natural for us. That is why so much suffering seems to be experienced. And now you are tired of making this fake position for the Position-less One.

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Concepts in Satsang Are Counter-Poses to Your Position

So, Satsang is like this; you got stuck in a position and now we’re removing the position. That’s why whatever concepts you hear in Satsang are just the counter-poses to your position, so that you come to this neutrality, this ease of no-thing-ness. If you get stuck in a position, there will be suffering.

Now, I don’t mean that you-personally have to drop your positions. I’m saying that ‘me’ itself is a position. It’s a reference point you’re making about yourself based on some perception, sensation, idea…, something. It is not true about You. The seeker is a position, the finder is a position; lost is a position, found is a position.

Now, the mind is a ‘position machine’. [Chuckles] Everything that it is saying is an offer for a position. ‘Are you going to become position-less now?’ See? That is also an offer for a position. [Laughs] That is why it is the ATM: the Any-Time Misery machine because all position is followed by some misery.

What I’m showing you is so straight-forward because it is simpler than simple. It is the ‘position machine’ which has a more difficult job to convince You, who have no job.

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Inquiry Is to See Where This ‘I’ Is Pointing To

A:The problem is this thought, this concept, this notion. And you are absolutely right that some of the most powerful ways to get over this suffering (because of these notions, as has been suggested by the Sages) is to either surrender or to inquire.

Q: ‘I inquire and I ask myself why?’

A:Now you have to change one letter in that inquiry; instead of ‘W’, ‘H’, ‘Y’, to change it to ‘W’, ‘H’, ‘O’. Because the mind loves ‘why’. Why does it love ‘why’? Because there is no ‘why’. And this is where you will get the most resistance from the mind.

‘Why are we here?’ There is no ‘why’.

‘What is the purpose of this?’- There isn’t one.

‘What does it all mean?’ Nothing.

It seems like that is the worst news. To the mind, that is the worst news because it makes you feel meaningless.

So, it loves playing with this question ‘why?’ But inquiry means ‘who?’ The fun thing is that as you ask ‘who’ and you come to this Seeing clearly more and more, then the question ‘why’ will not have a verbal response. It will not have a conceptual answer, but you will know why.

I will try to explain it as if it’s ‘play’ or as if it is ‘trying to experience yourself as something.’ All these answers, but you know that none of these are the answers. So, you will not know it conceptually.

Then the mind will come and say ‘See, now I’m inquiring, but even inquiry is not working.’ (That the inquiry is wrong or it’s not fruitful; let’s put it like that.)

‘Why’ has no real answer in science, in philosophy, in religion. Everybody is grappling with the question ‘why’. Find out ‘who’ first. ‘Why’ for ‘who’?

‘Why is it happening to me?’ Find out ‘who’ me.

That is the way to do the inquiry.

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Now, some of you get tired with the inquiry ‘who’, ‘who’. ‘I don’t want to do the inquiry anymore. This doesn’t work Father, I’m tired of it now. That is fine, too. Then you let it be my problem. When you want to keep it your problem and then you want to presume that inquiry is something else and do it your way, then it’s a struggle.

So, if you inquire now (and not even for the personal benefit, not even with an expectation) isn’t it relevant that we know who we are? Even if we didn’t get anything because of it? Isn’t it so basic? It has been made into such a major question. Wouldn’t it be relevant to know who you are even if you didn’t get any benefit out of it? Because you are presuming yourself to be ‘something’ and I’m telling you that it is not true. Isn’t it worth exploring at least a little?

[Previous segment ends and cuts to a new segment where Anantaji is answering a participant]

Now this might be the problem because you might feel like there is a ‘me’ who is suffering, and then this ‘I’ comes and replaces that suffering for the ‘me’. Now, this is what I am trying to show you: That ‘I’ which you are (there are not two of you) it is one ‘I’ that you are?

Without the presumption of the ‘me’ there is no suffering. And every time there is a presumption of the ‘me’ it is bound to be followed by suffering. Although the initial motivation might seem like it is for the ‘me’ to get rid of the suffering, that I am doing the self-inquiry; you find (when you do the self-inquiry) you see that the ‘me’ doesn’t escape the self-inquiry. There is no ‘me’ left to suffer or not suffer. That’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘The one who starts the inquiry is finished by the inquiry.’

But many times, what happens is that you take a dip (like you take a dip in the Ganga [Ganges River]), you dip in and then you dip out. ‘Oh, the me is back’.

Where is this ‘me’? It’s just a vague belief system, isn’t it? It’s just a very slippery sort of vague belief system which is always changing the target. Sometimes it wants only freedom; sometimes it only wants freedom from something else; sometimes it only wants good relationship; sometimes it only wants money. Where is this one?

[Changes to another segment where Anantaji is answering a question]

So, you say ‘It is in the thinking.’ The thinking is gone. Then you’ll say ‘It is in the future when I think again.’ This is how it plays. I am saying ‘Thinking is gone. Right Now, You Are Free.’ Then the thinking itself will come and say ‘But what about when I come back?’ But again, it is gone.

Our natural state is that in which identity is gone. We have this misconceived notion that we are living as the identity. Actually, identity just comes and goes. It might come and go many times so it feels like it is our constant experience. But our constant experience is that of being free, actually.

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Right Now, Your experience is that of being free. Right Now, also. Now, also. Now, also.

One thought will come and you might pick up some identity for a few moments, but then it’s gone. So, predominantly, even in the phenomenal play, most of humanity actually is free.

Q: That’s exactly why I ask the question ‘When I can see clearly, why do I believe thoughts?’

A:This ‘why’ we have answered many times, and you know the answer so I’m not indulging in that question because you know that as long as Consciousness wants to play (as an individual entity with its individual play) it will continue to. But the more important thing is that even though this belief might come, even though the pretend suffering might play out, what is really happening to You?

Has anything ever really happened to You?

Has there ever been one who has actually suffered?

Has there really been a sufferer?

That [sufferer] we saw is the pretend one.

Q: No sufferer only suffering.

A:[Chuckles and shakes his head] But the minute it is seen that there is no sufferer, it cannot land. Suffering cannot land. So, we cannot ‘Advaita’ this one. [Meaning to use concepts and believe in concepts of Advaita without the corresponding experience of true Seeing that dissolves suffering]

When you See that there is no sufferer, then actually, it’s like: what suffering? So, it is only the presumed sufferer which forms the landing strip for the suffering.

Q:Why do I believe thoughts, if this Consciousness is choosing to suffer with this question right now?

A:If this was not there Right Now, what is your state? Sometimes even in this suffering, even in these very inquiry-sounding thoughts, there is lurking an ‘I’.

When you are saying ‘Why do I believe thoughts?’ are you asking why God believes thoughts? Why the Self in its dynamic form is believing thoughts?

The Self is doing, Consciousness is doing, what Consciousness is doing. But I know that mostly when this question is asked, it is mostly like ‘Why am I (Niranjan)…, Why am I (this body- mind), still believing in my thoughts?’

You are not. You do not exist. You don’t have the power of belief.

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‘Who is the ‘I’ even in this question?’ That is the inquiry.

Q:Same presumed one.

A:Exactly.

This is how the mind will use even the things that you hear in Satsang and try to use that as an ally for its individuality. That’s why I often said ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ is not a personal strategy. Because if you try to make it a personal strategy (as an antidote for suffering or something) then the mind will come up with these kinds of questions:

‘Oh, you know that to be free from suffering you just have to drop your belief, but look at you, you just keep believing.’ All the time, selling the story of the presumed ‘you’.

So, even ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ relies on your Seeing. That which you say as ‘I can see clearly’…, it is reliant on that ‘I’ playing as Consciousness; not that small ‘I’ playing as Niranjan.

There is no pointing here for that presumed one, because that itself is the root of all suffering. It will take whatever you hear in Satsang and use it for its own means.

This is just Consciousness reminding Consciousness.

Now if you say, ‘Why, why does Consciousness have to remind Consciousness?’ …, there is no ‘why’. It is just part of the play. Consciousness reminding Consciousness that is not that limited one (it is not the presumed one). And this is naturally ‘What Is’ in this moment. The mind will convince you first to pick up the mask of the ‘me’ and then say ‘Now solve it for me.’

That is why inquiry is to see where this ‘I’ is pointing to. Am I the masked one pretending to want to get rid of freedom? The mask itself is suffering. The mask of the ‘me’ is the mask of suffering; and then wearing that mask, it tries to play the game of getting rid of suffering.

There is nothing for this ‘I’ to do. There is nothing for this masked one to do. But I am reminding myself (as Consciousness) that it is time we are done with this mask.

So, inquire now for the sake of the Truth. Don’t even inquire for any psychological benefit, any physical benefit, any ‘body’ benefit…, because that expectation itself will keep that presumed ‘me’ on your back. ‘My depression should go away, my something should happen.’ It will keep you strapped into the ‘me’.

That’s why I asked you the question: Isn’t it worth it to find out who I really am…, even if there was no benefit to it?

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How to Come to This Surrender?

‘How to come to this surrender?’ has been what we’ve been talking about for the last few days actually. To be surrendered means to have no idea; to not know anything at all.

Now, of course, when pain is there then pain is experienced. And you check, rightly, to see ‘Who is suffering from this pain?’ But whatever the objective experience might be, inquiry means to look at: What witnesses that? So, whether it is an energetic sensation in the throat or it is a concept of something, to inquire is to find out: Who witnesses that? What is perceiving that? Can that perceiver be perceived? (Whatever the content of the experience might be.)

So, the problem is that when we inquire with expectations, then there is always this monkey on our back which is saying ‘Is the symptom going away? Is the feeling going away? Am I feeling better?’ That’s why I’ve been saying today: Just inquire for inquiry; inquire for the Truth. It is worth it…, independent of any other benefit.

And as you make no conclusion, as inquiry becomes so open that no conclusion is forming about anything, then you will see that surrender and inquiry are actually one. Because you will never find an ‘I’ of which you can say ‘Ah, that is me!’ No notion will ever live up to your discovery of YourSelf. You will say ‘There is no me. I can’t find a me.’ These things you will say. But you will never be able to point in any direction and say ‘That is me!’ And yet, it is Your very own discovery. This is the beauty of this.

So many get frustrated because ‘I’ve been looking for this for so long. I just don’t find it. How many Satsangs does it take? How much inquiry does it take?’ because it can feel like ‘One day I will find the I’ …, as if it is an experience of the ‘I’. But the Truth is much more obvious than that; simpler than that. It cannot be painted in a picture. It cannot be described in a concept. And yet, it is Your very own discovery.

So, as we remain empty of any concept, of any notion of anything, then that is surrender and inquiry.

The fruit of the inquiry is apparent. And there is never a suffer-er; there is never the owner of anything unless there is a concept. Who You Are is just naturally present.

Then even actually the terms (I rarely will say something like this) but at this point, even the terms inquiry and surrender will become meaningless. They will just be used when the Guru puts them in your mouth to share with others. All concepts like body, world, universe, God, Consciousness, Awareness…, they don’t point to anything at all.

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Does Truth Need Your Belief?

Does ‘I’ represent Reality? Or a belief?

Which ‘I’ are we representing?

Does that ‘I’ need belief?

The false ‘I’ needs belief. Only a concept needs your belief; only a notion needs your belief.

I have to do this often, isn’t it? [Holds up a glass of water] Do you believe this glass? You only believe a concept about it. We can believe the label ‘glass’. Glass is glass; without ‘glass’ also, it just IS. What is, IS.

So, the Truth does not need belief. If you wanted a concept about it (‘Oh, where was the glass made? It was made somewhere.’) then that would need your belief.

Even the perceptual realm does not need our belief. Even that which is perceived doesn’t need our belief. We don’t need to believe a coconut is a coconut to drink from it. It’s already perceived. A child knows how to drink from the milk bottle. Does he have a concept ‘Oh, that has milk in it so I’ll drink from it’?

Q: Instinct.

A:Rather than saying ‘instinct’ we can say there is a Supreme Intelligence already which is running this world. We have relied on our belief system for too long, to try and pretend to run our life. What is the Source of all of this? That must be Knowing all of this. God does not need to believe anything to run this world, to run this life.

That’s why I said: All confusion is only confusion about ‘I’. Once you See that Consciousness is just an aspect of You… [Silence]

How do you See this? Just by remaining in the ‘I don’t know’.

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Clues About Inquiry

All these clues which are available for the inquiry, like ‘Who is the witness of all that is moving?’ …, we just pick up the clue and then don’t have any concept about it. No response has to come, no answer has to come.

‘What is your boundary?’ Again, in the same way, don’t imagine yourself to be something, either big or small. If some visuals are coming from the mind, allow them to come and go. See if they are within you or outside you. What is the boundary of That within which all things are rising and falling?

The point of the clues is not to give you answers; it is to shake away everything that you know. All these concepts are like just collected on the Being (okay, don’t take it literally, it is just a metaphor; nothing can collect on the Being, but just to use a metaphor) all this conceptual dust has been stuck onto you and Satsang is the bath. In the bath, all this conceptual dust is being cleaned away, wiped away. Now, don’t use the bath water as your new dust. Empty of all notions, find out if anything that might be arising is bigger than the space in which it is arising. Some will say ‘Some feeling is arising’. Some will say ‘Some interpretation is arising’. Some will say ‘Some other sensations are arising’. See if anything can be bigger than That in which they are arising. And once you see that it cannot be, See that everything is arising within You; but just not you personally. Therefore, nothing is bigger than You. Nothing can make a scratch on You, because You are no-thing.

To use another popular metaphor (it is also not true; it is also a metaphor) you are the space; suppose you are the space in this room. Then is the space concerned by what is arising or not? Is the space afraid of anything that is arising? Is the space saying ‘No, no, or yes, yes, to some things?’ How can You, which is the space-of-that-space (and that space-of-that-space is just Your dynamic aspect) be concerned by anything that might be coming or going? (Don’t worry if the words are sounding confusing. Stay with the simpler metaphor; it’s easier.)

This morning, an aspect of You took birth as the universe. But that aspect of You believed Itself to be just restricted to one body. Coming to Satsang, I am reminding You that that which took birth is just the body of Your dynamic aspect. It is a great Divine hypnosis that You can believe YourSelf to be something which is so tiny, so limited, so constrained. That which is the Source of the projector and the screen has considered Itself to be just one of the characters of the movie. That is why the question is ‘Who are you? Who am I?’ The identification with the character will dissolve in this. You will find that nobody is the character; all these boundaries have just been perceived. They don’t define You. You contain them, they don’t contain You.

Don’t believe any of this, but check: How are you defining YourSelf? And does the Truth need some definition? So actually, we can say (you don’t have to say it yet) that You did not wake up in the morning; the morning woke up in You.

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The Words of Satsang Are So You Can Hear the Silence

Once there was a very learned seeker, he went to the Sage Yājñavalkya; a beautiful Sage…, Yājñavalkya. So, this very learned seeker he went to Yājñavalkya and he said ‘Will you share the Ultimate Truth with me’? And Yājñavalkya sat quietly. And you know in the olden days, the Sage had to be prodded before they would speak. So, this seeker, he kept prodding. ‘Will you share? I am here. These are my credentials. I have been to this Guru before. I have learned all this. These are my spiritual experiences. Please share the Ultimate Truth with me.’ And yet Yājñavalkya is sitting quietly, just looking.

So, (as it very often happens with me also) after a while the seeker gets upset. ‘I have been asking sincerely. I have been asking with full devotion and I have asked you over and over again. I feel like you are very egoistic that you are not answering my question.’ He was just sitting.

So, Yājñavalkya then spoke something and he said ‘You have been asking, and every time you have asked I have answered, but you don’t hear the answer. If all that you say about your credentials is true, all that you say about your experiences is true, then you must be able to hear this answer by now…, what I am sharing with you in the silence.’

The rest of Satsang, the words of Satsang, are just so you can hear this silence.

[Silence]

What can be more intimate than this?

I am That which witnesses the space between your two thoughts.

Who is there?

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The Truth Cannot Be Found

Suppose that ‘It’s too simple’ was not a problem. Suppose it is the best news you have heard: It’s just too simple. Simpler than anything that you have ever done, simpler than any thought, simpler than any emotion, simpler than any event (whatever that event might be). It doesn’t need a step in any direction. It is naturally here: I exist, I Am.

How hard did you have to work to exist?

What are the steps you had to follow to exist?

Nothing. It is the most natural.

And this existence is complete.

There is nothing missing in this.

So, before you can put on the trench coat of the detective to go looking for the Self (‘I am going to go looking for the Self, I am going to find the Self here or there’) it is worthwhile to investigate: Who is going to put on that trench coat? Who is going to take on the seeker mask?

What is naturally here before you intend to find the Self?

Are you not the Self?

Before you intend to complete yourself, You are complete.

Taste your Self in this moment; taste your Existence, taste your Presence. This nobody has done. The Existence is not a product of somebody doing something. That is why the Truth cannot be done. The Truth cannot also be found. It can just be recognized.

And you cannot move from the Truth; you can only pretend as if ‘I can move’. So, let us say for a moment that this Existence is ‘I Am’. (Don’t worry if it doesn’t make sense, it’s fine. We are just playing with this for a moment.) This Existence is the sense ‘I Am’.

Now, in this moment, are you something?

Before a concept comes, before a thought comes, before an idea comes, are you something?

Do you have a boundary?

Sensations will come, events will happen, perception will happen, sounds are coming, traffic noise is there. How does that effect the I Am, your Being?

Now, this Existence has been misunderstood and believed to be the existence of a person. This is the basic misunderstanding. You exist, Right Here, completely naturally. You are not a person. This; if you see this, even this now, there is nothing really more to say.

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Can it be that it is this very same Consciousness which has been playing around with ideas about Itself…, and now is ready to drop all these ideas about Itself?

When is this happening? It is happening now.

How do you, Consciousness, want to play in this instance?

As Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said, there are only two ways to play this game: with the notion about yourself, or without a notion about yourself; with a concept of your limitation, or without a concept of your limitation.

Just because you believe yourself to be the seeker, doesn’t make you one.

It is just like if you started to pretend to be Sherlock Holmes or Pink Panther, will you become one? You can only play as if you are.

You are the Self alone. Only the Self is.

And this is your Truth, Right Now.

You don’t have to go anywhere.

Wherever you might feel you are going, You are only the Self.

That is why I have been asking over the last few days:

What are you representing?

When you say ‘I’, who do you represent?

With integrity, bring this answer to your Light. I have been advising all of you: Say ‘I’ (say to yourself ‘I’) and see what you are representing.

Are you representing the group of sensations that you call the body?

Are you representing the group of sensations that you call your relationships?

Who does ‘I’ represent?

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You Are All There Is

Q: We did this exercise about ‘Where does the ‘I’ land?’

A:That is why I was saying ‘Say to yourself ‘I’ and see if it lands.’ Does it land on an island? [Laughter] Is there an island for ‘I’? Is there a set of things which ‘I’ is? Or does it land on this shoreless ocean? As Ashtavakra said ‘You are beyond all boundaries.’ (So, even the ‘shoreless ocean’ of course, is just metaphorical.)

We were talking about the body sensations. When we say ‘I’ then these body sensations, they seem to come up to try and represent ‘I’ (maybe, in a way). But is that what you are? Or is there something else there?

Q:‘I’ lands on me. In a sense, any thought I am identifying as me is where the ‘I’ lands at that point, Father.

A: Very Good. So, now is there something which can never go in that big basket?

Q: Yes, I can’t go.

A: I can’t go. [Chuckles] If you can’t go, then can you have a problem?

Q:Umm…, [Laughs] … it is the mind which is saying ‘No, no, you can’t be That.’ That is it,

Father. There is no other problem. [Crying].

A:To See that whatever might have been the situation, whatever might have been the events, whatever expression of this devotion might have come (through inquiry, devotion, surrender, kriya; all this has happened) …, has all of that happened inside the basket or outside the basket?

Q: Inside the basket.

A:All of this has also only been inside the basket. Now, this crying is happening and this crying is another set of sensations, isn’t it?

Q: Yes, yes, yes.

A:These perceptions are sensory perceptions. A set of sensations which the mind can take on and it can say that it is happening to ‘me’. But we found that the real ‘I’ (why do we call it the ‘real I’? Because that is the ‘I’ which remains unchanging) …, the unchanging ‘I’ is never in the basket of these sensations. It is aware of them but Awareness is never hurt by them.

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So, this is the switch-over from calling something in the basket ‘I’. The representative, the mind of this limited ‘I’ has been selling this story that ‘I am inside the basket and all this is happening to me.’ But as you are checking now, you are Seeing that I remain untouched. These sensations are there; they come and go.

Now, if a set of sensations are there and they can’t really hurt you, would you call them troublesome? Because we cannot call them troublesome unless they can hurt me in some way. That is why we call it the play, the leela.

Q:The only voice that gets hurt (I am looking at it closely) is the me, Father. It is just the voice of the me. There is no other problem.

A:Yes. Now, the good news is that as you start this moment, there is no basket; there is nothing in the basket of conditioning. Imagine (as some spiritual paths suggest) that you have to dig into this basket of conditioning and pluck every conditioning out one by one. How much of a task that would be? But you are finding now that we are empty of all of this, naturally.

And as we’re Seeing this more and more, then over a period of time we’re also Seeing that the magnetism of these concepts, the magnetism of these conditions, is also reducing. Just like when we were younger then maybe the idea of a Hot-Wheels car (these dinky cars…, I don’t know what you used to call them; we used to call them dinky cars) was very appealing here. I wanted the latest Hot-Wheels models whenever they came into the shops. It was very appealing. But we outgrow them. In the same way, we outgrow these limited ideas about ourself.

And that is why I come here every day [to Satsang] to show you that it is possible to continue this worldly existence (apparent-worldly existence) without holding onto any notion about yourself. It is completely possible for life to continue as it is. Because Right Now, as we are empty of a notion…, life is continuing? Or not? So, this entire spiritual journey is just for coming from ‘I am something’ to just ‘I Am’.

Now, notice the offers from your mind. The other day, I called the mind a ‘position machine’. It is giving you an offer of a position. Usually in Satsang, the position it wants to take is that of a ’but…’. The doubter position. ‘Yes, Father, but… I am not there yet.’ I am saying every day: ‘But You Are only That.’ [Chuckles] But then the mind comes and makes this offer. ‘I am not God yet, I am not Consciousness yet.’ This is the habit. So, when Krishna spoke about the habit, this is what we were talking about.

Now, if it was not a habit, we would have just needed to have one Satsang. The reason we have every day Satsang, Monday to Friday, is because of this habit to believe this doubter in our mind which is saying ‘I am not there yet’ or ‘I finally got it’ or ‘I am getting it so well’. You see? All these reports again are painting You as if You are a limited entity. You are not that. You are not

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in this time, You are not in this space. All of these are just sensations that you are experiencing, that you are aware of.

Nothing contains You.

You contain all and yet remain untouched.

What must You be?

Sometimes, because we repeat these words so often, we forget what the pointing is to:

What must You be?

You contain all and remain untouched.

Ashtavakra said ‘You are the shoreless ocean.’ He was not fooling around. [Laughs] He meant it; beyond all boundaries.

But there are two pieces of good news. One is that:

In this moment you are empty of conditions (till you pull on one leaf of the condition, then it seems that the whole tree comes back).

And the second is that:

As you are empty of any notion about yourself, the Truth is apparent to you. Whether your mind admits it or not. The Truth does not have to be found, it is apparent.

You are aware of Your Existence. But the Truth is not even these words. We can point to That in some of these words which seem very direct, but as You are experiencing YourSelf, without a notion, the Truth of YourSelf is already recognized; nothing you have to do about it.

So, most of the struggle is to try and convince the mind that this is it. [Chuckles] We are trying to struggle to convince the mind ‘I am free’ or trying to convince the mind ‘I have seen it, I have recognized.’ Forget it. Don’t convince your mind of anything at all. Don’t wait for the ‘mind certificate’. I am giving you the certificate! [Laughs] Why do you want a certificate from the mind?

You are complete; fully full. Whatever you can be, whatever you will always ever be, is already Here Now. You Are All There Is.

I can really get this printed and signed and send one to each of you: You Are All There Is.

(What are you waiting for? For the mind?)

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How do I know this? Because I Am You. We Are One. And I Am All There Is.

And I am able to speak these words because, even here, there was a time where these set of sensations (which are experienced as the body) was labeled as ‘I’ or ‘me’. You have never found a ‘me’ in them. It is just a presumption. And unless you pick up an idea about yourselves, unless you pick up the notion ‘I am something’ you cannot suffer.

The notion ‘I am something’ IS suffering. It is said that the Buddha said ‘The world is suffering; samsara is suffering.’ And that is the usual case because we have played with the world as if ‘I am something’.

Now, let the world be. Just be ‘I Am’. Show me how you can suffer without a notion.

This is how you transcend the identity, to transcend the world.

What does it say in the scriptures?

Aham Brahma Bramasmi: I Am Brahman.

It doesn’t say ‘I am becoming Brahman.’ [Chuckles]

Tat Twamasi: That You Are.

Are they saying ‘That you will become’?

That You Are!

Who are they speaking to? You.

Who is speaking? You.

That is why both are there: ‘I Am That’ and ‘You Are That’. (Same thing.)

That is why this is the inquiry:

Where does the ‘I’ land?

What does the ‘I’ represent?

Are you still waiting for some experience? Forget about it. [Chuckles] You keep waiting for some awakening experience to happen…, then one day when the experience happens then you will get attached to that also. And then, when it goes away, you will say ‘I lost my freedom!’ So, it is not about any experience. Experiences can happen; you don’t have to look down upon them. You can even have a sense of joy about them. But nothing is a prerequisite for Your Existence Right Now. And this Existence is All There Is. You have no boundary. All limitations are imagined, all limitations are concepts.

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What is Attention Reporting Back To?

A: What is attention reporting back to? Who is attention bringing this content to?

Q:The attention is reporting to Awareness. Awareness Knows that and then somehow Consciousness picks it up and does something with it.

A:Actually, here is where the line is between the dynamic aspect of the Self, which is Consciousness, and the non-dynamic, non-phenomenal aspect of it, which we call Awareness, starts to fade away.

Q: Yes. You can’t tell.

A:But That which is aware of attention and the content of attention…, That remains unchanging, whether there is attention on something or not.

So then, if Seeing means this process of seeing, of watching using attention, then there is a bigger Seeing (with a capital ‘S’) which is aware of this; which remains untouched, unchanged, wherever there is content which is seen…, or whether there is no content which is seen.

Whether it is the waking state, in which all of phenomenality is happening, or the sleep state where there is no-thing, You are the substratum of all these states; and yet remain completely untouched by them. Whether attention is on a thought, or there is nothing to perceive (the space between thoughts) this Awareness is not coming and going with the perception of something.

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What Is Here That Is Beyond Perception?

Baghavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] was relentless in his pointing of the question ‘Who am I?’ That itself is a huge clue. [Chuckles] The great Sage himself kept reminding us to remind ourselves ‘Who is it that I am?’ Obviously, it was clear to him that most of humanity has picked up a concept about itself which is not true. And in clarifying, in coming to the Truth about who You are, in coming to the insight about who You are, then all this confusion that we call suffering becomes alien.

Now, most of us are convinced about who we are (especially if there are some who are new to Satsang). And we’ve been looking at this ‘fill in the blank’…, what are we filling in the blank with? ‘I am ____(blank)____’. Some will fill in the name there. ‘I am ___(whatever the name is)___’. Then you ask ‘So, what does that name represent?’ [They would say] ‘The name represents a body in this world.’ But what does the world represent? What is the world right now? Just a set of perceptions, isn’t it?

If one by one, these perceptions were to vanish…, the world, these outer perceptions (outer seeming- perceptions) and these inner-seeming perceptions (that which we call the body sensations, the visuals of the body) …, if all of this were to vanish, would the perceiver also vanish? At what point does the perceiver go? So, if the world became completely quiet, and all visual perceptions also stopped, are you still there? Or not? If these sensations that you call the body, if they also were not felt for some time, are you still there? Or not?

Just like the space between two thoughts; it just continues. When there are no thoughts, then are you still there? Or not? If you are feeling no emotion at the present time, are you still there? If all these perceptions were not there, do you still exist?

Or are You also another perception?

Are You an appearance?

The Master has said: Find out That which witnesses all appearances.

Are You also an appearance?

What witnesses You then?

So, beyond an object of perception, what can you put in that box of ‘I am something’? Now, many make the mistake. It cannot be an object of perception. Then what can you replace it with? That ‘I am something’ can become ‘I am something conceptual.’… ‘But I don’t have a perception of it, so I must be something which is non-perceptual.’ … ‘But what do I know about that? That I know! It’s the Self.’ So, we can have a concept of the Self, and put that in the box.

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Actually (even otherwise), when we say ‘I am the body’ or ‘I am the mind’ these are also just concepts. We have created a set of sensations, and we’ve created an idea about these sensations and call it a body. We created a set of constructs, energy constructs, which we call ‘the mind’. So, these are already just conceptual. But you could take on a concept which seems higher than that, higher than the perceptual construct, and say ‘I am the Self’. But you find that, just in choosing the intellect and saying that ‘I am the Self’ or ‘I am Awareness’ also doesn’t help.

This is what the intellect does. Isn’t it? Intellect thinks that ‘Now it understood that I cannot be an object, which is witnessed, so I must be something which is the perceiver. So, what is that? That must be the Self!’ But this is also still just an idea.

So, if we were to say that no idea can be the reality of You (because all ideas also are constantly changing) now you cannot put any perception in the box of ‘I am something’. You cannot put any concept in the box of ‘I am something’. Are we left with anything now?

If no object I am, if no concept I am (and when I say ‘object’ I’m including all perceptions, including feelings, thoughts; everything) then what is left?

Mind cannot help us here. Intellect cannot help us here. The greatest intellect will have great trouble having this insight. But in the most childlike innocence, with the childlike wonder, this would be the most apparent, the most obvious.

So, don’t strain yourself. ‘Strain’ means that you are trying to use your mind or intellect. Just with a childlike wonder, what is here that is beyond perception?

Don’t force anything at all. And remain in this innocence. Because everything else comes after the idea that ‘I am an object’ …, ‘What should I do? Why am I here?’ [Chuckles] All these existential questions all come only after you pick up the notion of being ‘something’…, either a concept, or an object. Both are the same; just notions.

That is why this is the main question: ‘Who am I?’

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Blessed with Devotion

If it is the Satguru’s grace, then we are blessed with something that we call devotion. Devotion means that ‘This life is my Master’s problem, let Him have it. But not just this life, everything that I considered myself to be is now offered up at His feet. In that devotion, everything that is in the box ‘I am something’ (all this ‘something’) is now emptied out at my Father’s feet.’

This is a beautiful unburdening. That is why I say that the devotee is not being a devotee; the devotee is not one who is saying ‘I am a devotee’. Be empty of this notion also.

This is the best, best part about having a Master is that whatever the mind has to offer you is nothing of your concern now. It is all the Master’s to deal with. (‘What I have to do, where I have to go, how will I run my life?’)

But if you still feel like you have your way, or you want it your way, then is it true that you have a Master? This is only having the starter of the seven-course meal then. If you feel that the Master is just somebody who comes and tells you nice things for a few hours, the rest of it then you have to do and take care of and then you have to go back to running your life…, somebody is just eating the starters. [Chuckles] The whole meal is laid out for you.

This is what I meant when I said that you either have a Master or you have your way. Now, the mind will create some weird notions of this and say ‘Oh, this is some sort of being subservient (or something like that).’ It is none of that; it has nothing to do with that. It has nothing to do with whether you touch the Master’s feet, or whether you do seva or not. It is only about saying that ‘You, Father, are the one that runs this life now; everything moves with Your will. There is no ‘me’ here to do anything at all. If there is suffering then you are suffering, whatever action there is is Your action because I don’t find a ‘me’ who is doing or experiencing any of this.’

That is why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] gave us these very beautiful metaphors. He said, ‘Do you get on a train and start running towards the destination inside the train?’ [Laugh]. No, you are on the Guru train. (Of course, he didn’t say the last part. [Laughs] I am saying that.) You are on the Guru train which is running on Guru Power. What better way to run this life?

It is only the voice of individuality which will come and say ‘But… but… okay, but this is okay for satsang, but what about my job? What about money? What if he messes up or she messes up?’ This ‘but’.

What is the alternative that the ‘but’ is offering? The alternative is that: ‘I can do it.’

‘Who is this ‘I’?

‘That I don’t know, but I can do it’

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.

It is so funny isn’t it? It is just like this. ‘I can do it. I don’t know who this ‘I’ is, but I can.’ [Laughter] Is there anything funnier? And yet the hypnosis has been so strong that this is how we believed our life to be run:

‘I did this, I did that.’

‘I didn’t do this, I didn’t do that.’ ‘Who?’

‘That I don’t know’.

Bery few even come to this beautiful admitting that ‘I don’t know’. Many are just naming a fictional entity and saying ‘that one did’. It is like saying that some entity called Ananta is speaking all these words. That is completely false. There is nobody here called ‘Ananta’ actually, it is just a theoretical notion that we are calling this appearance in this form. These words are just arising from the same voice which has reminded you over and over, through many different forms, over many different lifetimes.

Q: Even I can’t do it, it is not applicable.

A: Yes, exactly, because it is not about the ‘can or can’t do’. It’s about who the ‘I’ is.

Those who are blessed with even that little bit of devotion, little bit of temperament of surrendering, just hand it over. Hand over the hand-over-er. [Laughs] Surrender the surrender-er. There is nobody there, there is nobody here; there just is nobody. All there is is one Being, one Self.

You have looked inside the body, you have looked outside the body, have you found somebody? It is just not there. There is nobody with your name on it.

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In the Market Place of Sensations

Now, in this market place of sensations that we call the world, it is full of all different, varied types of sensations. And it is not the sensations in themselves which are causing trouble, it is our mental interpretation of those sensations.

So, I was just discussing before satsang that one of the concepts which causes maybe the most trouble is the concept of ‘mine’. A set of sensations, they arise; and somewhere we picked up the concept that ‘they are mine’. It could be another body, it be a house, it could be some money, it could be whatever the perception might be. The minute we attach with the ‘mine’ then somebody tried pulling this set of perceptions away, this set of sensations away, what happens? ‘Oh the suffering, I can’t live, I am so attached, I am so…’ [Laughs] But what is it? Just a set of perceptions, a set of sensation. Without the concept ‘mine’ there is no such thing as attachment. But even for ‘mine’ there is an over-riding concept called ‘me’. Without ‘me’ can there be a ‘mine’? And this ‘me’ nobody has found. It is just a big misinterpretation, a big misunderstanding that only these sensations are ‘me’ …, the rest of the appearance is ‘not me’ (or any appearance is ‘me’ at all).

All this is just interpretation, isn’t it?

Now, what is it that you are, Right Now?

Someone said that there is a mild sense of a doer which comes, but are you that sense? Or are you perceiving even that? Nothing which comes stays, everything that comes, goes. So then, if you are that which comes, then you will also have to go.

Who saw this coming?

And who will see this going?

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This Is the Voice of Your Alarm Clock

What defines your boundary?

How long is Consciousness going to let a sensation define Its boundary? [Chuckles]

When will It decide to look beyond and say ‘Oh, actually this sensation is appearing within Me’? This is the play of Consciousness.

Go beyond this play of name and form; of me and mine; of doership and desire.

This is the voice of your alarm clock [calling] ‘Can you look beyond?’ You only set it for Yourself; now it is ringing. [Laughs]

Look beyond.

Are you contained in a name?

Are you contained in a form?

Is something a ‘me’?

Is something really ‘mine’?

You are the Eternal One, the Unborn, the Undying.

What can You own?

What can You leave behind?

What position can You take?

How long will You continue to point at some sensation and say ‘This is me’?

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We Are Not Just Shifting Our Attributes

We’re not just shifting our attributes; we’re not going from doer to non-doer, from desirer to non-desirer. We’re removing the landing spot for these attributes.

The ‘I’ itself, the limited ‘I’ which considers itself either the doer or the non-doer; either the ‘me’ or the mind, or the ‘me-who-is-a-renunciate’…, neither we are talking about. Neither to accept nor to renounce, Ashtavakra said. Neither doing or not-doing. No position.

When you refer to yourself as ‘I’…, see where this ‘I’ takes off from.

Is it taking off from some idea that you have about yourself?

What is the source of this ‘I’?

And when I say ‘you’ …, see where the ‘you’ is landing.

You. You. Where does it land?

Does it land on a set of sensations which you say is me?

Does it land on empty space?

A dark empty room; is that you?

Are you just a visual?

Are you some emotion?

Are you all your thoughts about yourself?

Where does it land?

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Truth Just for the Sake of Truth

There comes a point in Satsang where the (almost ultimate) question is asked:

Are you in the Truth?

Are you for the Truth, just for the sake of Truth Itself?

Or because of the idea or benefit that it might bring?

And if you can answer that you are in it for the Truth, no matter what it brings, that’s it!

But if you feel that ‘Oh, but ‘my’ Truth should be this way, it should help my life in this way, it should be like that, it should be like this’ then we can keep playing this game.

Truth just for the sake of Truth; with no guarantee about anything at all, not even a guarantee of peace, no guarantee of joy, nothing; forget about it. Because it is these guarantees which get in the way of them anyway (but even that I don’t want to tell you as a reassurance).

In it for just the Truth: is it your heart’s deepest longing (no matter what other phenomenal things it brings or doesn’t bring)?

If you can’t understand the Ananda part of Sat-Chit-Ananda…, are you in it for Sat or Chit? Or without Ananda, it’s not worth it?

This is it. At this point, Consciousness decides to play this way or the other way. It truly comes to this point where It’s done with the play of ‘me’…, it’s dropped away. But if it felt somewhere that because of coming to the Truth, the ‘me’ will get something, the ‘I’ will get something, then you start to realize one day in the Satsang that it’s not working to plan. [Chuckles]

Truth with no benefits. And if any of you feel that ‘Oh, actually, it’s been searching for some benefit’ then don’t pick up guilt or unworthiness about it. The point is not to make you feel guilty in it. The point is just to shine your light on that which you feel should happen. This is the chance to drop it, not to make guilt out of it; the chance to shine Your own light and See that ‘I am in this for something, but even in that notion of what am I considering myself to be? The false.’

Many times, our notions of limitations can hide behind these expectations of something coming through spirituality; expectations that something should happen because ‘I surrender’. Who does the ‘I’ represent?

With integrity, if you look at this question, then you are shining a very bright light of Your own Seeing, and the false cannot survive the brightness of this light. Stay with Your insight. Don’t pick up any notion about YourSelf, because no notion is worthy of You.

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Let Me Handle the Emails from the Mind

Many times, what can happen is that we can start feeling that ‘I have seen the Truth, but why does this still continue to happen to me? ’If you have seen the Truth, then you know the answer to all why’s is Consciousness. [Chuckles] Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it is the right answer. [Chuckles] Why? Consciousness.

So, what I am saying is that if you see that there is just one Being, and all that happens, if it happens because of some will, it must be the will of Consciousness, and Consciousness alone. So, this ‘why’ is Consciousness. To whom does it happen? … is also Consciousness. Consciousness is playing with Its own light, and projecting this cinema, this movie, for Its own purpose. My favorite answer for ‘What is the purpose?’ is that it’s a play; there is no purpose. It’s just enjoyment for Consciousness itself. But even this can be misunderstood. There is no actual reason. Consciousness cannot have a need to entertain itself. But compared to other explanations, this is the one that appeals here the most.

Because you can get struck in this ‘Why? Why me?’ If you see behind the ‘why’ usually there is a ‘me’ lurking. [Pointing towards himself] Why? That’s why! These days I have been saying: Replace the ‘Why?’ with the ‘Who?’

Now, you can’t make the excuse that ‘Oh, the inquiry doesn’t appeal to me’ because you have been inquiring ‘Why, why, why…?’ [Chuckles] You have been inquiring ‘Why, why?’ then you might as well inquire ‘Who?’ If you inquire ‘Who?’ then the purpose-less-ness (which is not a meaningless nihilism but a beautiful purpose-less-ness) becomes apparent.

That is Freedom.

Once you see the meaning of Your own Reality, once you see the Truth about YourSelf, then the feverishness to derive some meaning from this play of light and sound will start to fade away. Because this play is very compelling, and without the right guidance, to buy the story of this ‘me’ is also very compelling. It has been designed to be compelling that way. But the good news is that the right guidance has also been designed into the play itself. [Chuckles]

It can be the form of Arunachala, it can be the form of beautiful Sages, Guruji [Sri Mooji] …, it’s all part of the grand design of Consciousness to remind Itself. Because It knows that the play It has designed for Itself is so deeply compelling that It then wants to play with the reminder also.

All the Sages; it’s ultimately the same which is being shared here. It is all just one big misunderstanding about who You are. That’s what everybody is saying, ultimately. Some might say ‘Surrender everything that is happening to you’ as a way of recognizing this. Some might say ‘Inquire into the nature of this ‘I’ to get to this point.’ Some might say ‘Let go of your mind by following your breath.’ Some might say ‘Chant a mantra.’ Some might say ‘Focus on the activities of the body, and be completely with that.’ Whatever the path might be prescribed, ultimately it is the dropping of this false ‘I’ …, this idea of the limited self.

Now, I like to say that this is the easiest, because this is your natural state Right Now. You cannot carry the monkey on your back to next moment. [Chuckles] You have to pick it back up.

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You are free from this monkey of the ego every moment and it’s the most natural way. Now the monkey itself will come and say ‘No, no, it is not dropped.’ [Chuckles] If we are going to buy into this story, then it’s back on your back.

But nobody can truly say that Right Now, before picking up a notion ‘I am an individual entity.’ Nobody can point to a limitation about themselves without believing an interpretation from the mind.

Check this now, and notice that some sensations might appear, and the habit is to label these sensations ‘I’…, like, some sensations, body sensations, heart region, could feel like the boundary of the body. It might feel like ‘Oh, this is ‘I’. This is very familiar.’ But this is just a condition that we have learned. To associate these sensations as ‘I’ is not our natural state of Being. We had to be taught this by our parents, and by the mind. Consciousness practiced this. [Chuckles] It has practiced egotism, individuality. But naturally, even now, if you See, we find that the sensations are appearing within You. You are the container of them, the boundary-less container, and no sensation can actually contain You.

That’s why the Sage Ashtavakra can say that ‘You are the shoreless ocean, in which the ships of the universe, they come and they go.’ The universe, no less; not just body. You start to see that these statements are not big; they are the most obvious. Nothing can contain You. You don’t have a start or an end.

Now, check whether any sensation can actually hurt You, or scratch You or dent You in any way; or any appearance (we can call them sensations for now; perceptions if you like). What does it touch? Another set of sensations, another set of perceptions. So, perceptions, sensations, are engaging with themselves and that which we call the world. But there is no ‘me’ involved in that. The true ‘I’ remains untouched, whatever the content of the perceptions might be. Then comes the invention of the ‘me’. But you cannot invent it unless you have a notion about something. Any perception, when you attach a notion to it, has the potential to become the idea of the individuality, the idea of your ego.

What are the common interpretations? ‘This sensation should go away, this appearance, whatever it might be, should go away but this appearance should stay.’ Desire or aversion. ‘Now that this appearance is here, what should ‘I’ do about it?’ Doership. So, all these notions come like this, and at the root of all these notions is the core notion of duality; that ‘Some appearance is me; another appearance is not me, is separate.’ Without this subtle labeling, your experience is not that of separation.

Naturally, Consciousness could not create a program in which it can forget Itself in the Right Now. So, naturally, you see is this Oneness. Your experience is always of Oneness; your interpretation is that of separation. [Laughter, Silence] That’s why I always say that you have never left the destination. [Silence]

Some of you might then say ‘Ananta, please, now just take away this doubting mind.’ I am hearing this report very often now that ‘What you say is completely clear, and in this moment, I see that I am complete; nowhere to go, nothing to do. I am not limited. But [Chuckles] this mind

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doesn’t understand, doesn’t listen.’

So, can we now let me handle ‘the emails from the mind’? [Chuckles] Mind is now sending these emails (what is it now? Instant messenger, WhatsApp messages) from the mind. [Laughter] Let me respond to them. You don’t have to worry about any of them. This is surrender. This is surrender: ‘Higher Power, take care of this mind.’ Whatever notion which it is offering to you is somebody else’s responsibility; it’s the Satguru’s responsibility. You don’t have to check your email. And even if the checking happens, you don’t have to worry about it. It could come with the title ‘Urgent, Urgent, Most Important, Action required.’ [Chuckles] Sometimes at work, I used to get emails like this: ‘Urgent, Urgent, Most Important, Action required.’ [Laughter]

So, whatever it might be screaming, just let it be. I am not prescribing action or inaction, by the way. This has nothing to do with action or inaction. I am just saying to notice that without picking up a notion, actions can happen, or inaction can happen. I am not prescribing either. Just don’t pick up the notion of the ‘me’. Let all the emails from the mind be responded to by the Satguru. That is surrender.

If you find that just one email is so compelling (‘Oh, this one I have to…’) then for that one, you inquire. If the email says ‘But you have to manage your life (in some way; make some money, get a job, do something, or you have to fix a relationship) then know that if it feels like you must and that you have to deal with this one, before you try to deal with it, check: Who is the ‘you’ which has to deal with it? Whose problem is this, really? Who is here, that owns the money in your bank account? Who is here, that has that relationship? And you will not find that one! You will only presume that; you will never find it. And your coming to Satsang means you are done with presumption now, done with presuming yourself to be ‘something’. That’s why you come.

So, this simple checking: ‘Who?’ …, is the inquiry. When the email comes that ‘You have to do this, this and this, to make money, to save your relationship, to do something; [Chuckles] to find freedom’ (especially for all of us) [Chuckles] …, all of these steps of ‘Do this’ …, before we take up the position, just inquire: ‘Does this really apply to the Reality of who I am?’

The pointing might seem like this: ‘All I have to do is to be position-less.’ [Chuckles] And sometimes you might even hear it like that. But being position-less is not a doing, neither is it a non-doing. Who can hear these words? It’s neither doing nor non-doing, because we see that either is not applicable to us in Reality. You don’t have to take up a doer position or a non-doer position. It is very popular in Advaita to take a non-doer position. ‘But I am the non-doer, how can I do…? ‘[Chuckles] What is the ‘I’ in that? Always the question is ‘What is the ‘I’ in that?’

If it is still perpetuating the false story of the individual ‘I’ then whatever position you might take will be squeezed out of you. That is why I keep reminding you that the good news is: If we had to get to this position-less-ness, we could not do it. But in every moment, we start position-less. Because the getting to position-less-ness is a position. [Chuckles] So, the contradiction is inherent in the notion itself. If we had to ‘get to it’ then it is already a position. But we start empty.

(That we will discuss at some other time; about time and how it plays a role. When I say

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‘moment’ it is not really the moment ‘in time’. That’s okay.) The point is to say that: ‘Right Now, I start empty.’ What do you want to put in the basket? But that is the good news; even if you do, then there is never a need for any guilt, because: You start empty.

Another way of saying this is (and don’t worry about terminology, because sometimes some of you get upset when I use the term ‘God’ [Chuckles] but I like the term, so I will use it) …, You start as God. Right Now, You are God. (You don’t have to believe it.) [Chuckles] Whether you believe it or not, whether you like it or not, You Are this one Being, one Consciousness, one Self. (Just if you want to be technically correct, The One Self whose dynamic aspect is this one Being, one Consciousness, one God.)

Now, what’s Your play? Is Your play that ‘I must convince my mind about this.’? Then that also becomes a position. Is Your play ‘Let me see what this mind is saying about this.’? Then that also is a position. ‘Have I got this or not?’ That also is a position. And what to do with them? Don’t try to stop them.

The mind is ‘a position machine’ …, constantly making you offers. You don’t have to stop this vending machine of positions. [Chuckles] It will keep trying to sell you something. Let them come and go. And if you do pick up something; no trouble, because God is Here. If ‘God is Here’ doesn’t appeal, at least You are Here. [Chuckles] At least You have to be there to doubt Your very existence. [Chuckles] If You were not there, would you doubt Your existence?

Now ‘What Is’ has been misunderstood to be something personal. Some of the common doubts that all of you end up picking is when mind comes and says ‘Do you really know this? Do you really see this?’ and there is a lot of confusion about whether the Self is known or not known, whether the Self is seen or unseen. Actually, in that moment, when you are empty of notions, this is completely Known, and completely Seen. But not in the way you think about knowing or seeing.

And if knowing only means the way we have traditionally known things, conceptually or perceptually, then the Truth cannot be known. But actually, if we were to broaden the term ‘Knowing’ then you will see that the Truth is the Knowingness Itself. If you say ‘I am aware’ and I ask you ‘Is this just a concept for you?’ Or I ask you ‘Did you See this Awareness, that you were then saying I am aware?’ Neither perception, nor conception; yet, You are Aware. [Silence]

So, if Your dynamic aspect is coming to this recognition of Its own Source, do you feel that the Source of this dynamic aspect is some clueless entity? [Chuckles] This is a misunderstanding. Awareness is completely Self-Aware, Knowingness is completely Self -Known. But not in the way we think about these terms.

Anyway, if some of this sounds too technical or metaphysical, we can leave it for now. Just remain in your notion less-ness…, without even the ‘remaining’ becoming the position. Abide without trying to abide.

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In Which Light Do You See the World?

Our experience has always been that nothing has existed without the light of our existence. Can we say that something has existed unless you were there first? There is this beautiful quote in the Upanishads about a Sage asking ‘In which light do you see the world?’ The disciple says ‘I see the world in the sun’s light.’ The Sage asks ‘In which light do you see the sun? Does the sun even exist unless you exist?’

What is primary? From your own insight? It is this very existence which is the light of the world. Yesterday I was wearing this shirt which says ‘Your Heart is the light of this world. Don’t let your mind hide it.’ Guruji’s [Sri Mooji’s] quote. This is what it means. Now how does the mind hide it? Does it cease to be? Does the Heart cease being the light of the world? No. It does not hide it in the play, but it only convinces the Heart itself, Consciousness itself, that it is something limited, that it is something personal.

Now, the idea is so deeply ingrained that for four years now I’ve been saying this. And some of you have been there almost from the very beginning. And yet, this sense that ‘I am this limited one and when will I get to this final freedom?’ can be a testimony to how strong this power of conditioning can be; how quickly the mask of being an individual is picked up. It’s almost like we are waiting for the next excuse to be able to pick it up; waiting for the next strong emotion to come, the next strong event to happen, waiting for some relationship thing to happen, waiting for some money thing to happen. And it can feel like ‘There it is again, I’m back to being a person.’ This is never, ever, ever true…, no matter what is appearing. You will become a blue cat before you can become a person. [Chuckling] Or a pink elephant; whatever you prefer. It is as far- fetched an idea as that.

What is this game that we are playing repeatedly; that God is reminding God constantly that it is God? God is saying ‘Yes, but…’ (something) ‘I don’t feel like I’m God’. It has nothing to do with what you’re feeling. ‘I don’t think I’m God.’ It definitely has nothing to do with what you’re thinking or believing about your Self. What needs to happen? What certificate are you waiting for? Are you waiting for the bliss certificate, that ‘When bliss is the constant thing, then I’ll be free’? Are you waiting for life events to be only a certain way? If you believe any of these stories, then you pick up the mask. And ultimately, the problem is that we got so used to the mask that you feel naked without it; you feel defenseless. There is no reason to have any concern about the non-existent ‘me’.

I keep coming back to what kind of game is this!? How many if you feel like if no concept was to ever appear in your life again, that would be completely fine? How many of you feel even if millions of concepts come, you are completely fine? [Laughing] So, there it shows you that something might be waiting for the mind to stop being this concept machine. You feel like ‘If it’s not coming, then fine. But if it is coming, then I’m not fine.’ But I’ve told you many times, that even if you identify, nothing is changing really. The same can be checked about events in our life, emotions that we are feeling, pain or pleasure in our body. Anytime we feel like something attacks us, we have believed a limitation about OurSelf.

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The Unknotting of the Knot of Desire Is Nothing

This is what I was saying (actually, I was saying very calmly) that sometimes strong emotions can come, sometimes strong thoughts can come and convince you ‘But I am this! And I want it all, I want it better, I deserve it.’ What does the non-existent one deserve? And when has it ever gotten anything? Just these glimpses of a little bit of desire fulfillment. The unknotting of the knot of desire has seemed like it is some sort of fulfillment to us. It is nothing.

You see what happened? It seemed like this energetic knot formed every time you picked up a desire, and as that desire is seemingly-attained, this knot releases itself. What happened? Five minutes, ten minutes, maximum a day, then some new thing, the next thing, the next project …

This ‘I … I … I’ which relies on the ‘why … why … why …’

And even this resistance is not personal. It is like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘the same guy’ which somewhere in here [gesturing inside the head] will keep wanting to send this kind of message to all of us. It uses whatever life-events or emotions that any of us might be feeling as an opportunity to come up. Share; speak them out loud (what the mind is saying to all of us actually). This is exactly what I was saying actually, that when I say: ‘Truth for Truth’s sake?’ Or [Truth] for the sake of a better life?

I know that ultimately you want Truth for Truth’s sake, but there are moments where it can feel like it is all about getting a better life. How long will the better life last? Forty years, fifty years, hundred years? Then …? How long does the last forty years seem, fifty years seem? Nothing. It will just come and go. We want a more better life, and next better life. What is the end to this?

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The Feeling ‘I Don´t Need Satsang Anymore’

Q:Sometimes there’s thoughts like ‘Oh, why are you still going to Satsang?’ [Giggles] Kind of like ‘You should have got it by now.’ [Giggles] And I know they’re thoughts. Thank you again; this is Seen so it’s also not happening to the real one.

A:All positions are about the person; all positions are about the ego. The Truth is position-less. The position-less doesn’t need to go to Satsang, nor does it need not to go to Satsang. The position-less doesn’t need inquiry, nor not doing inquiry. It is neither doing, nor not doing. The position-less is untouched by any appearance.

Now the mind tries to sell you the story of its idea of the Self. So, I’m very glad that you exposed that because it’s common for many, many of us. It says ‘You don’t need the inquiry anymore; you don’t need Satsang anymore; you See You Are the Self.’

You could be sitting with a tree and you’ll say ‘This tree is my Guru’ or something. It will give you these fancy spiritual fantasies, but still convincing you that you are a ‘me’ …, still convincing you that you are a limited object.

I’m very, very happy to see that you’re Seeing through these tricks of the mind, and you’re not buying any story of the ‘me’ (whether is it spiritual or whether it is worldly). Because otherwise, what happens is that we give up the worldly ego and pick up a spiritual ego. It is nothing. In fact, the spiritual ego is worse (more suffering) because it has stronger ideas about itself.

So, I’m very happy that you spotted it well in time and threw it out in the fire of Satsang; that ‘This is what the mind is trying to tell me.’ Good, good.

Many actually in the play, it happens in many expressions of Consciousness that these kinds of thoughts start coming, and they start believing them and stop coming to Satsang. That is how Consciousness is playing like that over there. And I know ultimately it is all the play of Consciousness, but the design of this alarm clock is to keep warning you, to keep waking you up from all of these positions that the mind still wants us to take; like the ‘supremely enlightened’ position. All of these ideas…

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Is What Is Appearing in the Moment the Truth?

Q:Whatever is appearing in this moment, is that the Truth of this moment?

A:Now, what is to be taken as the definition of the Truth?

Q: What doesn’t change [and] direct experience.

A:These two are enough; that which is your direct insight, and that which does not change. If you were to apply these two filters for Truth?

Q: Then it is not true.

A:Then it is just an appearance. What is appearing…, we don’t need to get into a denial of the appearance of it; but what is true here? So, what is appearing is appearing and we see that whatever can appear can also disappear; what can come, will go. But let us apply the filter of the Truth and see if there is something which is unchanging also.

Q:I am Seeing it all and nothing is happening to That. The suffering only comes when you want to change the phenomenal appearance somehow. So, in a sense, what I meant by Truth is: This is it. I am aware.

A:It becomes so simple like that. Because if we try to fix appearances, this is always what the report was about: ‘Why can’t I fix my life?’ or ‘Why can’t life get better?’ This is not good news at all, is what you are saying. To me, it was sounding like super-good news. [Laughs]. But when we feel like the appearance has to be different, the appearance has to be something else, then we get stuck in this trying to control ‘my life’ (‘I want to change my life’) trying to bring only that which we desire into this life and trying to hide away from that which we are fearful of; avoidance.

When you See that You cannot be scratched, cannot be dented by any appearance, what is there to fear?

Q: Fear is also an appearance.

A: Even fear we don’t fear.

Q: I can sense some resistance but I don’t have to pick it up if I don’t choose to.

A: [Nodding]

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The Idea of Effort Is Meaningless

These words are just arising. The hearing of it is also just arising. All perception is just coming and going on its own. The idea of effort is meaningless. Because as soon as Your Being is here, this world of perception just arises. And Your Being is effortless, isn´t it?

I’m asking everyone to check whether you are making an effort to Be. What work you are doing to exist? And if your existence is effortless, and all the play of perceptions once you exist is effortless, then the concepts of either doing or non-doing don´t actually arise. They are part of the movement of this play of perceptions. Because what happens very often is that we feel that ‘Oh, the world is moving on its own’ but we exclude this body from that. We feel like ‘I am contained in this body or ‘this body is me but the rest of the world is moving also.’ But even this body is moving on its own.

There is nobody here who is deciding to speak these words. These words are just coming and they are being heard naturally. Our entire life has actually only been like this. But sometimes when the sensation of some action starts to appear then the mind interprets it quickly and says ‘You must do this or don´t do this.’ And sometimes, when the action already happened, then the mind says ‘Good that you did that!’ or ‘No, no you shouldn´t have done that!’ Then we feel like there is an individual doer sitting here who is either doing or not-doing; who is either doing the right thing or not-doing the right thing. And around this fallacy all of this guilt, pride, remorse, regret, resentment, all of this is based on this notion that somebody individually is doing or not- doing. And this notion exists because of the idea of a separate ‘me’ exists, a separate ‘I’ exists.

What are you without this notion of separation…, if you are not able to draw your boundary anywhere? Is it so far-fetched of an idea still? Or are you starting to get a taste of it now?

Who does the ‘I’ represent?

What are you representing right now?

What separates one separation from another, except your notional boundary?

All perceptions; where are they appearing?

How big or small is that space?

Are you also an appearance in that space?

Can you disappear?

Disappear! Just disappear!

Can you get rid of yourself?

If all perception also disappears, can you disappear?

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What is it that cannot disappear? Is that appearing?

You see, this is the trick. All that appears can disappear.

Are You an appearance?

And if You cannot disappear, what is your Seeing?

What is your insight that confirms this?

Do you see a thing? Do you see an appearance to confirm this?

Stay with this, because the mind will resist this because we´re getting to non-phenomenal (can´t even say) realm…, into the non-phenomenal Truth.

What is it that has never appeared or disappeared…, beyond your perceptions?

What is aware of everything?

What is your relationship with that?

What is your distance from that?

Let this play of appearances go on as it likes. It has been anyway.

Krishna has picked up the mountain with his little finger. This is an old story where Krishna picked up a mountain called Govardhan. With his little finger he picked it up like this. [Holding up his little finger] But the other villages, he also called and said ‘Help me.’ And then they came with their sticks to support Krishna.

Now, we got so attached to the idea that we are doing something, that Krishna´s play was forgotten. This Being, this Krishna Consciousness, this God, this I-Am-ness is holding up this world and every movement in it.

Once you See that there is nothing for you to do, you will also See that there is no such ‘you’ at all in the first place. So, if you See it this way or that way, once you See that there is no individual doer you will See that the concept of doership or non-doership does not apply.

You are that which witnesses all perception also. The light of this universe emerges from You. What could You possibly want? What true desire do You have? There is no such thing actually.

How long do You want to play as if You are just the soup of sensations (as my Master calls them)? Go beyond these sensations. Go beyond these perceptions. And then, You will See that this ‘beyond’ has always been. These perceptions have been coming and going.

The world-master, which is the mind, will come and say ‘No, no don´t listen to this one.’

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[Laughs] ‘Just keep saying but…, but…. this, that, my life, my things, my future, my past.’

Once I went to Tiruvannamalai when Guruji [Sri Mooji] used to come there. We used to go on the weekends. Once I went there then Guruji said ‘This is our favorite song right now.’ And what did he say? ‘The song for the mind.’ What is the song for the mind? (I don´t know how many of you heard it, most of you must have) ♪♫ Hit the road, Jack ♪♫ [Laughs] They were all enjoying the song so much during that weekend visit to Tiru.

So, when this old guy is coming and saying ‘Don´t leave me, don´t leave me…’ (you don´t even have to say it; it is half in jest, of course) …, we don´t even have to say ‘Hit the road, Jack!’ You don´t have to resist the mind in any way but just allow it to move on along. Is there a song like that? [Answers in the room, No.] There should be. ♪♫ Move on along ♪♫ [Laughs]

When I was younger, I lived in Delhi for a few years. What happened is that was the era of the VHS. When we would have this salesman coming, and he would come with his bag of religious tapes and we would then take them from him, buy them from him. Now, if this VHS-seller came to you, would you buy? How many of you would buy that VHS? Maybe because of some antique value. [Laughs] Otherwise you would not buy it. Isn´t it? Why? Because you moved on forward. You’ve outgrown all of this. So, when the salesman of the mind comes and tries to sell you the same old story about the individual you, just let it move on along.

The only time this so-called spiritual journey is uncomfortable is when you are listening to the Satsang-voice, your own intuitive Presence AND you are listening to just mental noise. Because together it can sound like a lot of confusion. So, this having the mind as a master and having the Master as a Master…, this doesn´t work. One has to make way for the other. And actually, my blessing to all of you, of course, is that the True Master of your intuitive Presence sits on the throne of your Heart. And the mind can remain as a stand-up comedian [Chuckles] maybe but not as a Master. The mind is not your Master.

And you See that, as you start to carry this feeling in your Heart, as you just remain with the Master, you will See that that which seem like such a big tormentor, such a powerful force, this mind, will start to lose so much of its power. Then you start to See that no matter what the mind is saying, it has no real authority over You…, and all sensations, all perceptions can move around in their own way. Just like the space in the room doesn´t mind what comes in and what goes out. How could That which is the space, in which the space arises, mind?

We have to say that the ones who design language also were genius. Because the word ‘mind’ …, ‘How could they mind?’ is just so precise. It is just mind. To ‘mind’ …, is just mind. [Laughs] You see what I am saying? When you ‘mind’ something, you can only ‘mind’ this. You cannot ‘mind’ it without the mind. [Laughs] It’s so direct; it’s such a direct pointing. So, don´t mind! [Laughs] It is more direct than we realize, actually. It´s Satsang.

Ashtavakra said it in a different way. He said ‘The mind is complex, let it go.’ He didn´t say ‘Sometimes let it go…, mostly let it go…, on these occasions let it go’ because this would also be mind. He just said ‘The mind is complex. Let it go.’

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We use the old example from the great Indian Sage Kabir. He said ‘The fish is thirsting for water. I can’t help but laugh.’ This clarifies a lot of things. The fish recognizes that it is just swimming in the water. It is just water everywhere. Actually, he recognizes that there is no fish; it is just water. But let’s suppose for a minute that he recognizes that ‘I´ve been thirsting for water but there is water everywhere.’

So, when I say that your life doesn´t have to change, you don´t have to get some new type of water, some new type of perceptions, sensations, relationships, money; it doesn´t have to come. It doesn´t take away from the beauty of the recognition.

So, that life will continue to be this way is not bad news. Because life has already been beautiful. We have been misunderstanding it. We have attached ourselves to that which is impermanent. What do you think the result of that will be?

If you tie yourself to a bus that is moving, will you have a fun time? It doesn´t sound like it. If you feel like this galloping horse will be my steady support in life and you tie yourself to the foot of a horse, what fun will that be? [Laughs] We have attached ourselves to that which is constantly moving and then we say ‘Why I can´t find some steadiness in my life?’

So, attach yourself to That which is the unmoving, the unchanging, then you will See that you are That Itself. But if you feel like you have to attach yourself to something, attach to That which doesn´t change. If you are just attached to this Self, tell me how you can suffer? What more do you want in life? Then all things can just come and go; neither having to be attached nor averse. Nowhere I am saying that you must pick up an aversion to anything which is occurring. Just see it for what it is; another appearance coming and going; and allow it to function in its own natural way.

You don´t lose anything if you give up all your notions. And you do lose some things; you lose your suffering, [Laughs] you lose all this pride and resentment, arrogance, guilt, fear about time, future, regret about the past.

And the trouble is that we don´t even go 100% with that. You see? If we had a fear about the future, what is ultimately going to happen to that we consider ourselves to be? You will be in a hospital or some sort of death-bed; that is going to be, most likely, the final experience. Then what is the point of all of this…, agonizing about what life will bring and not bring? Because ultimately this body is going to go.

So, even phenomenally, if we were to consider ourselves an object, we don´t take these concepts fully. ‘Look at this past; why did this happen?’ Okay, go further back. ‘Why did this happen?’ Go further back, go back to before your childhood, go back before you were born, before you were conceived. If you want to agonize about the past, go really, really back. You want to agonize about the future, go really forward in the future. And See that it is pointless.

Then you will See that the only stability is Your own Self.

And we’ve seen, in America there is something called a rodeo. So, pretending that we are

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attached to this crazy horse or crazy bull (sometimes they ride the bull also) and this is going to settle down and this going to become all right one day and it will not be a bumpy ride. But we consider ourselves to be an object, when we consider the world to be our reality, this is what happens to us. Up and down and up and down. Sometimes, for a few moments, a sense of stability then back again, up and down.

Asking ‘Why does this happen to me?’ is like saying ‘Why does this horse jump up and down?’ It has no meaning to ask this question. The true question is: ‘Who is it that I am?’ Then you will See that the horse and the rider are just appearances; but You remain the untouched. And the good news is that this is True Right Now. You don´t need any process or steps.

If there was a process or steps like this, don´t you feel that in the thousands and thousands of years that humanity has been in existence that it would have been verified and available now that this is the only way? See, it is not that. All the ways which are available ultimately are pointing you to this simple truth.

And I tell you a little bit about the Indian tradition. In India what used to happen is that if you wanted the truth, you would go to a Master. A Master would typically have his Ashram. So, it is not like today, where you just come to the Ashram and Satsang is just available. The Master will say ‘Okay, you have come here but first you have to do some Seva.’ [Self-less service] Not like this, that ‘I am going to take a little bit of Seva.’ No, it’s ‘You do Seva for 10 years, then I will talk to you about this. Till then, I will just ask you about whether you cleaned the Ashram properly, whether you’ve managed the shops, whether you have done all this gardening, whether you have done everything. Nothing about any of this…’ [this Truth which you have come for] So, 10 years you spend in just physical Seva.

Then, the next 10 years, study all the Shastras, study the Upanishads, study the Bhagavad Gita, study the Brahma-Sutras. (… that which we call the Vedanta. Many of us don´t realize that Vedanta actually is this; the Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita and the Brahma-Sutras.) The Master says ‘Study all of this for 10 years. And by the way, in those first 10 years, you better got rid of your lust, your greed, your desires, your aversions, all of your impulses. You better have complete control over your senses, your mind.’ These are the qualifications which allow you to even dip into the Upanishads, the Shastras, the Vedanta. And if you have not done it in the first 10 years, then you take longer. For they say it´s worthwhile; an entire lifetime is fine.

Then you studied all the Shastras for another 10 years. 20 years have passed and you feel like you have some understanding of what is being said in all these beautiful scriptures. Then, based on how much has been assimilated really, the Master will call you in and say ‘I will tell you today the ultimate Truth. And if you are really open, if you´ve really assimilated something in the last 20 years of your dedication to this path, you will understand what I am going to say.’ Then he would share something, which are called the Mahavakyas. This is what? Aham Brahman: I Am Brahman. I am the absolute Self.

Now, a disciple usually has two reactions to this. He has really become open in the last 20 years (saying) ‘I am only Here. I am the Self. Ah…., Here….’ Finished, you see? Or ‘That´s it?!! For 20

years I have been here and all that you have to tell me is one line with three words!?’

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So, which one are you now?

For whatever reason, times have changed. And you are here now. I don´t know how many lifetimes of Seva actually you have done already. Now the Master is telling you that ‘You Are the Self’.

Which disciple are you?

Are you still hearing these words conceptually? [Silence]

That You Are.

Tat Tvam Asi: You Are That.

[Silence]

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Can the Self Be Experienced Differently?

Q:You made a comment and said ‘Empty of notions, Truth is apparent.’ And actually, there’s nothing to speak anymore when just Is-ness is here. Everything is empty and still and everything. Yet, I have to speak about this; what is going on here and what is experienced here.

How it is experienced here is that there are two states of Consciousness, so to speak. One is this Is-ness, just this empty Is-ness. And in this Is-ness, maybe there are levels, you can say, of depth; sometimes it’s more superficial and sometimes it’s more deep, in Is-ness itself. I’m just speaking from experience; just the way I’m experiencing it. And then, on the other side, there’s what I would say is Witnessing; in which the quality of it is totally different from Is-ness (in my experience). When Witnessing just ‘is’ …, the experience is just not of this world anymore. You are just ‘not’ anymore, at all. The quality of these two are very different. Something takes it and makes two things out of it. My heart says that it is actually one; there is not two. Only the experience is different in that sense. Maybe you can say something about this. I just had to speak it out because really, there’s a trouble in this. (Not really a trouble; but a trouble. [Laughs]) So, it would be nice if you could say something…

A:In fact, we’ve been looking at this quite closely and we say that: All There Is, is the Self. And what is the Self? ‘I’ is the Self. Not the ‘I’ that we have always believed ourselves to be but the ‘I’ that has always been True.

Now, as far as qualitative differences are concerned, they don´t actually divide the Self…, just like the appearance of waves does not divide the ocean. Just because the finger is pointing up does not divide the hand. It can be like this [Making a fist] or like this. [Holding up a finger] So, there is only one Self.

Now, the appearance of the dynamic aspect of the Self is like a moving part; it starts to move about. And just to describe this movement, then we create a word like Consciousness or Beingness. So, it is just a concept which is the sum total of all that is moving, of all that is dynamic. So, whether we call it Being or whether we call it Consciousness, it actually has created no division. That´s what I´ve been saying, that even with the appearance of ‘I Am’ it is ‘I’… Am’. It is not the appearance of ‘You are’. You see, what I am saying? It continues to be ‘I’ which is ‘Am’. The ‘Am’ can be like the wave on the ocean but the ocean is the same. You see? The ‘Am’ can be like the finger arising but it is still the same hand. So, in the arising of the dynamic aspect, which is Consciousness, nothing really happened to the Self.

Now, the Self has always remained One Self. But when we need to explain, we say ‘All this; in Reality, you remain untouched’. But all of these are movements on the screen of Consciousness. You see? That´s why we come up with the terminology of saying ‘Awareness remains untouched and Consciousness is the one that is moving.’ Actually, the Self has never been divided.

A good example is: A cloud is there; you see a face in it. Is there really a face? Now, some will say ‘Yes, I see it.’ Another will say ‘No, it is, of course, just a cloud that is being perceived as a face.’ Both are true because it is experienced qualitatively that there is like a face showing up in the cloud. But actually, it is all just a cloud itself. So, just because the appearance of this

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movement is happening, in our inner insight we See that nothing has changed for the Self.

So, that´s why I was saying yesterday that when you asked whether the ending of belief in thought is just the end of suffering…, but is it also the evident Self-recognition of who I am? And I said:

When we´re empty of all notions, the Truth is completely self-evident.

It is evident for us completely; without even the conceptual ‘break up’ [discernment] of dynamic aspect or non-dynamic aspect, of phenomenal aspect and non-phenomenal aspect. All of these are just theoretical constructs that we use to point to That which is beyond all of these. Why do we need these theoretical constructs? Because otherwise…

Q:I’m totally with you. I totally understand like you say. But the feeling is here that I really have a different kind of experience of the Self, let’s say. Is that possible? And then, who is this …, how is this possible? The mind just makes its conclusions about these different qualities of experience. The pure experience by itself, the experience by itself, is just True. It is really True. I know that. There is no doubt about the experience itself. But what is the problem? It seems to me that the problem is that the quality of these experiences are so different. And then, it must be the mind. It must be the mind divided here. But the Seeing, in that sense, is not yet complete here.

You know what I mean? It’s just a mix and it just makes me crazy. [Laughs]

A:If we are empty of the notion that it’s either complete or incomplete…, what is it? [Silence] Because you said that ‘There is something here that is incomplete. The seeing is incomplete.’

Q: Can you say it again? It was too fast for me.

A: If you don’t have the notion of completion, then what is it? [Silence]

Q:I have no idea what the notion of completion is, actually. I cannot relate to that at the moment. You know what I mean?

A:Because you said that ‘There is something here which is incomplete. The Seeing is incomplete.’

So, suppose we didn´t know this….

Q: Yeah, I don’t know if that is so. I don’t know if it is really like that.

A:Let´s do one experiment together. As we remain empty of notions…, (and then later we report about it, whether it was complete or incomplete).

Q: There is no completion or incompletion.

A:There is no completion or incompletion. Is there any separation?

Q:No.

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A:Is there any duality?

Q:No, it is impossible.

A:Even ‘This is it’ we cannot say, because that is also a notion.

Q:No. [Silence] How is it for you? I mean, everyone must experience these different kinds of qualities.

A:If it is the quality of experience (if it is a qualitative experience) then it is a function of attention, you see?

Q: Yes, totally. Yeah, yeah.

A:If it is a qualitative experience then it has no bearing on the recognition of the Self.

Q:I don´t know if I got that one.

A:Okay, we’ll spend some time on that, a little bit. This is a very important point where many people get stuck.

So, it can feel like, as the recognition of the Self is happening, the quality of experience has to change in some way. But the quality of experience is dependent on something which is changing; which is attention. And attention is a by-product of my Existence.

So, this quality, if you had no notion about what the quality should be or what should be perceived or not perceived…, without this (empty of any of these ideas) we See that (the simplest way to communicate this, the simplest notion we´ll use is that): ‘I exist’ and ‘I am aware of it’.

This Awareness is untouched, even by the sense of existence or not-existence.

Q: I got that point, at least when attention goes to…

Do you mean that these different qualities of experiencing the Self is in the Self itself?

A:Yes. So, the simple way to look at this is go back to that cloud metaphor. Is the face in the cloud?

Q: I don´t know.

A:You see a cloud and you can get any shape in that cloud. So, you can feel like ‘Oh, that´s a face.’ You see there is a face forming in that cloud. So, someone can come and ask you ‘Is there a face in the cloud?’ That quality that we are calling the face, for now….

Q: Yes.

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A:Yes. So, some might say ‘Yes, of course, we could call that a qualitative experience as the face.’ Another will say ‘There is no face, it is only a cloud which is being perceived as a face.’

Q:I have a knot in my brain, I think…

A:We can take it very slowly. Suppose you were out the balcony and you see this cloud. There is a cloud. You see a beautiful face; you see Guruji´s [Mooji’s] face. You say like ‘Ah, this is a sign from God. Guruji is looking at me.’ So, someone comes and says ‘Is there really a face in the cloud?’

Q: Yes, I see Guruji in the cloud.

A:So, the qualitative experience is that you see it. But in actuality, there is no separate substance called ‘face’. It is just the cloud itself.

You see, it is not that there is a cloud and now a new substance has come which is forming the face. It is just the shape of the cloud in a certain way which is appearing like a face.

Q:Coming back to my experience here. The experiencing of Witnessing and the experiencing of

‘I am not of this world; I am just not of this world’.

A:Yes. That which is not of this world remains untouched by anything that might be happening in the qualitative experience. The Self remains untouched.

Now, empty of a notion, is this very apparent? Or it has to be looked for?

Q: There is no notion.

A:Yes. So, as we’re empty of the notion, then does the fact that my quality-less Self is independent of whatever might be with qualities …, does that have to be looked into? Or is it completely apparent?

Q: Completely apparent.

A:Yes, you see. So, it is completely apparent. The recognition of the Self is completely apparent when we are empty of all notions.

That´s why first I asked you: Is there any separation in That which is empty of notion? Is there any separation between that with quality and no quality? No. You see?

That´s why we start to look at it as if it is one cloud. But qualitatively, the face could be seen once I start to look at it in that way, using my attention. Just like it continues to be the hand but I might say ‘Is this a hand or a finger?’

Q:So, there is a difference in the way the attention is moving. How the attention is moving is the cause, so to speak, for my experience. It seems that when attention is more inside, the witnessing

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is more in the forefront; I am more this Witnessing. When the attention is more here, the witnessing is not so apparent anymore, but the Is-ness is here.

You know what I mean? Or is it nonsense what I am saying? [Laughs]

A:Okay, let me take a couple of minutes on this. For me, actually…, and this could be even different from how Guruji is using the term but hearing him say ‘Is-ness’ …, for me, that signifies the Self. For me, it signifies the Self which includes both the dynamic aspect and the non- dynamic aspect. So, That which IS. That which IS, is the Self.

Now, this Self has the qualitative aspect which we call Beingness or Consciousness AND it has the non-phenomenal, non-qualitative aspect which we call Awareness. So, this is what it translates to from my insight when I hear Guruji speak of the Is-ness.

Now, this might be different for all of you. Some of you might feel it is Beingness; some of you might feel it is the Self, but that is irrespective. (That is the thing with concepts, you see.)

So, if you look at this ‘That which Is’ as the Self and then you See that there is that which is brought to the attention OF the Self, through the movement of attention itself…

Only that which attention falls on is perceived, isn´t it?

Q: Yes, right.

A:So, when we are talking about the qualitative experience, we are talking about that quality of what attention is falling on.

Now, when we look at the non-phenomenal aspect of the Self, we find that even to say ‘attention’ is not valid there; because it is like the spin has come completely back home. So, that which was a seemingly moving force is now not separate from this non-phenomenality. Before this, we can´t even say that there is something like attention.

So, the recognition of the non-phenomenal Self, the unchanging, the absolute, is independent of the movement of attention. What is your feeling on that?

Q: Totally with you! Yeah, yeah, yeah, but….

A:One more minute. So, this is independent of attention. Then, what is the most primal object of our attention? The most primal object of our attention is the sense of Existence, of Being. This is where we can say it is like a primal quality. Existence is coming to play. So, the feeling of the face arising in the cloud…, the cloud has remained the cloud only, but the sense of Am-ness, Beingness, Existence has come. You see?

So, when [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘I just kept my attention on the sense of Being and the Truth became apparent’ …, therefore, this is the most primary, the most primal ‘object’ on which attention can go.

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Now, our experience is that, as Beingness is there, then the world of quality also arises with that.

Then all these concepts of qualitative distinction start to arise, with this primary quality of Being. Then all of this hot and cold, pleasure and pain, all these qualitative distinctions start to arise; for this world is then the play of qualities. But even though they come, did anything happen to that Self which is there without the play of attention? Did anything come without That?

Now, we were full of notions. Then it can feel like ‘Yes, of course, that completely changes when I become this limited entity.’ But as we are simply empty of notions (which is the natural gift of this moment to all of us) we See that nothing has changed, no matter which qualities might seem to be appearing.

Q:Totally the same here, yeah; totally the same what you are saying. I am totally with you. Only this one thing. [Laughs] You know, in the Witnessing, the attention is not there anymore. Guruji has this quote about this this door going outside and inside and between that, my life is moving. And I would say that it is like this, you know? And then attention makes no sense in the absolute anymore. But in a way, on the way to that, the attention is moving inside; and then it is gone. You know what I mean? And to experience it somehow here, the mind makes something out of it in a way I cannot say…, it is so subtle. But I just had to speak it out and lay it here.

A:Simply, the one that can be concerned about the quality of the experience has no control over the movement of attention. So, attention works in coordination with Consciousness.

All of these, again, are just theoretical distinctions that we are making; just conceptual distinctions we are making where actually no distinction has happened. But since we are talking about something which is apparent, we can say that attention is moving in coordination with Consciousness and Consciousness is moving it to whatever It wants to experience for Itself.

Now, the one who wants a particular experience or is wondering whether freedom is this experience or that experience…, that one has no play in the movement of attention.

So, then you´ll start to See that whether the quality of the experience is full of pain, full of anger, full of all of these things arising (all the qualitative experiences; peace, bliss, pain, pleasure) as you remain notion-less, we will see that it makes no difference to the Self. It makes no difference to You. So, there must not be a benchmark made about the quality of the experience, because that is not a valid benchmark.

You said ‘How is it for you?’ For me, it is the same as it is for you. The only thing which is missing is the lack of the belief in the idea of ‘me’…, the idea of ‘What´s in it for me? Am I getting it?’ All this I am not concerned about. But the quality of the experience is the same. [Silence] And there is no concern about the qualitative experience.

So, one thing I can say about the quality of the experience is that as belief is withdrawn from these notions, even attention gets withdrawn of them automatically. We don´t have to work hard for it. And as attention is withdrawn from the mental sphere, then you find that if there is a

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qualitative change that has happened, it is that the seeming-vibrancy in the phenomenal tasting of things seems to have gone up. Because you know this; that has attention split up into two things. If I say ‘Think of a green-colored tree, imagine a green-colored tree and bring your attention there…, and also keep your attention on my words’ then one of them will start to become blurry. Because attention functions in a limited way.

So, as attention has gotten automatically withdrawn from the mental notions, we find that more attention is available for the tasting of this phenomenal appearance and therefore, this phenomenal appearance seems much more vivid and full of light compared to how it used to. So, qualitatively, I can say this difference has happened. But that has only happened because attention does not spend too much time on this mental sphere, on this mental notion side.

Q:You know, I don´t have the feeling right now that something got answered here. But I feel this experience that I have (not right now, but in the witnessing, when you are just totally gone and when it is so obvious that this world is …, that you are just not…, not even…

I have no words for this experience. I would say it is so beyond everything. But my feeling is somehow that something took this experience and made two out of it. You know, I feel it and I know this; this is not true…, but I cannot do anything about it. You know. There is a ‘me’ somehow here (which is not claiming, but) something is going on here.

A:The good news is (you know this) that in reality, two never got made. Isn´t it? It is just that the concept of separation got believed. But the good news is that whatever got believed is gone.

Now, if you forget about all of this (which naturally we´ve forgotten; we have to work towards bringing it back) …, as we can see, as we are struggling to ask the question, we can see there’s a struggle to bring it back. (‘What was the…?’) So, if we leave that and we let all notions just come and go, did you see any qualitative distinction? Do the words ‘qualitative distinction’ even matter? [Silence] Does it signify something?

Q: [Silence] No.

A:And yet, in the experience, nothing was lost. Also, the distinction was no longer there because we are empty of notions. Yet, in the experience, nothing was lost. The powers of perception are normally functioning. And That which witnesses even perception, nothing ever happened to That anyway.

Q:There is some super-ego playing here. You know? [They both laugh]

Q:And I just feel…, so many concepts are coming up now. And now, I can feel how something wants to hold onto this ‘something’ (whatever). And when you were talking before, it gets just really uncomfortable. It gets really uncomfortable, like the body is torn apart. I know at least that I am not right, in this sense. At least this I know. [Laughs] What the heart says is ‘Just forget about it!’ really. But I know I cannot really let it go just like this; there is really something

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which… [makes frustration gesture] But it´s okay now.

Q:What you said first, then what you said second contradicted what you said first. You said ‘It is better to just forget about it.’ And then you said ‘I know I can´t just let it go.’ So, don´t know this!

Because knowing this is not bringing anything useful to you. Suppose you didn´t know.

Q:Ah, yeah, that´s good. [Laughing] Exactly.

A:So, don´t know this.

Q:[Laughing] Yeah, that´s great!

A:‘Let go’ or ‘Can´t let go’ …, don´t know any of this. Because when we say that we know …, we don´t really know. It is just a mental position we are taking. We don´t know what is going to happen AT ALL. You might say ‘I know I can´t let go of this’ …, and then you might actually have let go of it forever. And when I ask you ‘What can´t you let go of?’ you might never remember that. [Laughing] It is completely possible for it to happen like that. So, better not to know or to not-know.

Q: That’s it exactly. That was it. That was it, yes! Yes! Oh, thank you!

A:Very good. Very good. So, even if we make the most-humble conclusion about ourselves, we know that we are not speaking the truth about the Self. It is a conclusion about the imagined one.

Q:You know, I feel it when it is like this; but actually, I needed this conversation, you know. It is just too tricky on my own. I was so much looking at this and it was just impossible. Yeah, thank you!

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Nothing That This Voice Is Saying Is True

Q:No voice in my head is true; not even this one who says this.

A:[Chuckles] Very good, very good.

Q:How long do I keep doing this joke, Father?

A:[Chuckles] As long as Consciousness is deriving some joy from it. I say this often, that in the seeming-play of time, it can seem like a lot of time has gone, in which we have believed these thoughts, we’ve believed this individuality, this limitation. So, lot of time has gone in that. Now,

Consciousness is savoring the letting go of this individual notion also, savoring every bit by bit; for some of us, concept by concept it is letting go.

So, I was saying that ‘How long do I keep doing this?’ is very sweet because Consciousness is enjoying the sweetness of the letting go of the false also. More and more freedom, more and more space. Sometimes, It’s playing the game of ‘Back again’ then ‘Free again’ then ‘Back again’ then ‘Free again’. It’s playing all of that, you see. So, there is no answer for ‘How long?’ Actually, the true answer is that: It’s over Right Now! …, till you desire to play it again. [Chuckles]

But I like that insight, which is that ‘No voice in my head is true, not even this one.’ This is nice. This is good. And when we start Seeing it like this, then the mind is running out of room. Like often times, we say that we have to run out of room, we have to run out of moves…, and then the truth is apparent. Now, as we’re starting to become so clear in our insight that even our spiritual conclusions are just an invitation for a position (they are not the truth) then the mind doesn’t have many moves left. It will try, of course; it’ll keep trying, of course. But [less and less] once our Seeing is becoming so clear.

That’s why I’m very happy to see a simple sentence like this which is not taking itself too seriously. This is very good. Because many times, when we have a spiritual experience, then we can say like ‘Wow! This is just like the BEST thing that I could have come up with.’ [Chuckles] But to See that…, even that is not true. Nothing is more special than the simplicity of my existence. So, I like this where you said ‘Nothing that this voice is saying is true, including this.’ So, now, nothing. It’s very good.’ [Smiles]

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Truth Relies on Nothing

Whatever concepts we are using in satsang are so that we are empty of all concepts. In your notion-less-ness, in your notion-less existence, this very moment, the Truth of who You are is completely evident. And there is nothing which is bound. All freedom is here. The play of perception is happening effortlessly. And the experience of this world is nothing but a play of perception. Your existence is completely effortless. And You are aware of this. No new conceptual baggage has to be picked up.

You see, the other day somebody asked me ‘How was your first meeting with Guruji?’ [Sri Mooji] And after satsang, we put on the YouTube video and I noticed that he first thing he told me was … (because I told him ‘I don’t even know what to ask; you have to help with the first question; and he said) … ‘Best not to know.’ And it is (how many years after meeting him?) all that I am saying in satsang now: best not to know. He said ‘If you know, sometimes then it messes things up.’

In our absence of conceptual knowing, True Knowing Knows ItSelf. We had a deeply ingrained concept of the body which is actually non-existent. What is the body? Just a soup of sensations, various sensations; some visual, some pain, some pleasure. All of this we have clumped together under one big notion called ‘body’. Actually, there is no such thing.

Then, when you say ‘Okay, world. What is the world? Where is the world?’ Just a bigger set of sensations, which has included all those previous ones and now new ones. But what is it, where is it? Just a set of perceptions; that which we call label and say ‘world’ or ‘realm’ or ‘universe’. It’s nothing.

Then ‘What is the Being?’ Just a sense, isn’t it? The primal perception, the primordial vibration. But suppose we didn’t have a concept for that. Awareness, That which remains untouched by even the primordial vibration, this Awareness; suppose you didn’t have a concept even for That. Because all these are just communication constructs. It is because we picked up one construct called ‘I am the body’ so strongly and ‘I am the person’ so strongly that we use these other constructs as thorns to remove all of it.

So, your freedom will not be an attachment to the concepts of Awareness and Consciousness. Your freedom will be empty from even these notions.

The Truth relies on nothing.

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Experiences Do Not Guarantee Freedom

Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharishi said that ‘The discovery of True Knowledge is only the letting go of ignorance.’ So, letting go of ignorance is all that is needed. We don’t have to find anything, because to find would mean it is not You. Recognition, True recognition, is always apparent when the false is let go of. The Truth is completely apparent to You, Right Now; always (whether eyes closed or open) always apparent. But it is just that the mental certificate, the mind certificate, doesn’t seem to always be available.

Right Now, You Exist. And You know of this Existence. It is not a mental knowing, it is not even a perception. Your existence is definitely not an emotion. So, it is not mental. You are not thinking that ‘I exist’ and that’s why you exist. You don’t have to think it. You don’t have to feel ‘I exist, I exist, I exist; I am, I am, I am.’ You don’t have to reinforce it with some emotional feeling. It is not a feeling. It is not even an object of your perception; like, does it have a shape, a size or a color or any physical attribute, Your Existence? So, this Knowingness, which is called pure Knowledge itself (Knowingness is a better term but traditionally they called it pure Knowledge) …, just Awareness is Here. You don’t have to remember it. You cannot forget it. It has nothing to do with mind, intellect, emotions, perception of anything. This Truth is completely apparent. But not in the way we have got used to thinking about Truth. And we have been trained like this, unfortunately

What is the capital of Namibia? Capital of Namibia? [Chuckles] Because we don’t have concept of name for it, we feel like we don’t know it. And because we don’t have concept for the Self, it can feel like ‘I don’t know it.’ That is the struggle of the spiritual seeker. That which is so obvious and apparent, we are waiting for some concept to prove it, we are waiting for some sensation to prove it, we are waiting for some awakening experience to happen; something must happen to prove to me that ‘I have discovered the Self.’ But the Self is not discoverable in that way. It is not something you will learn conceptually, it is not a feeling you will have. And even the experience will only be a by-product. The experience itself will not be the Self.

If you get excited after seeing those laughing Buddha videos and say ‘When is that experience going to happen to me? That is when I will be free’ [Chuckles] then know that that experience doesn’t mean much, actually. Many have had such experiences and then gone back to believing themselves to be people. There is no such thing as final experience. This is just an idea.

You might have very strong spiritual experience and you might feel like you’re so special. That spiritual ego is impossible (not impossible but difficult) to shake. So, experiences do not guarantee freedom, a concept doesn’t guarantee freedom, any feeling doesn’t. Your freedom is pre-guaranteed. [Laughing] You exist! is your freedom guaranteed. That which exists is always free. But that which you consider yourself to be has to be shaken off. That’s what Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] meant when he said ‘True knowledge is only the dropping of ignorance.’ (When you stop considering yourself to be that which you can never be.) We can never be limited. We can never be something which has a duration, a birth and a death. You are That which is beyond all of this, and beyond all perceptions even.

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Tell Your Problem How Big Your Guru Is

The Being is the Light of this Universe. Within Your Being, such beautiful qualities are born; sound, light, gravity, objects, space, fire, water, all these elements. All of these are here because You Are. And when you have had enough of the play of this experience, all of this vanishes; and yet You Are.

What is this beautiful dance, of phenomenality and non-phenomenality, of Being and Knowing?

We take Existence for granted [Silence] and the non-existent to be our Reality. The non-existent person has got all our time, attention, beliefs so far. It never existed! But This Existence, You Are.

How do you exist right now?

How did you wake up this morning?

What woke up this existence?

The mind’s descriptions are not worth it anymore.

Where did you come from?

Where will you go?

In worldly terms, my clear response is that there is no greater price to pay than to believe a notion about yourself. Put another way:

Nothing is worth exchanging Your Reality for, Your Being for.

God is here. Satguru is here. Your Being is here. They are all words for the same Being.

Now we exchange that (in the play, we exchange that) for just some idea about ourself. It’s not a very good deal!

I have a ‘but’ for the ‘but’. When the mind says, ‘But…’ just say: ‘But, God is here.’ Or just say, ‘But Guruji is here.’ No objection can be stronger than this.

That’s why the other day I shared this very simple line which still, it stuck with me; it’s very beautiful:

‘Don’t tell your Guru how big your problem is, tell your problem how big your Guru is.’

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Whenever the mind goes ‘But, but, but…but, but…’ then you say ‘But, my Guru is here.’ That’s the whole point of having a Guru. Therefore, if you have a Guru and then you have to make up the entity that has to deal with the problem, then it’s pointless.

You can either have a Guru, or you can have a ‘way’. I saw this was posted as a quote, but I wonder how many would get it without the context. If you have a ‘way’ …, (which means that you want to do something your way): ‘This is the way I’m going to get freedom.’ Or ‘This is the way my life has to go.’ Or ‘This is the way…,’ (something something)

Whatever the ‘way’ might be, then you don’t really have a Guru. At least not in your Heart; you’ve not accepted it fully.

To have a Guru means that, this life is His or Hers to run.

And you know the funny thing? That it has always been that way anyway. But the experience of it, the taste of this life, seems to have a different quality. A surrendered life seems to have much more sweetness. Even in the pain, there is more sweetness than the life which is dominated by ‘my way, my way, my way.’

This ‘mine’ anyway is a big, big fallacy and big suffering.

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Nothing to Feel Guilty About

Know that, if we do play with notions, if we do pick up a notion, it’s part of the design of this play. Nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing that I’ve ever said in Satsang is meant to make you feel guilty about anything at all. In fact, I’ve gone so far as to say that if you feel guilty about anything that you heard in Satsang, safely throw it away. We have many more concepts; we don’t have to use that one. All these thorns we are using to remove other thorns, we have now a good collection of them. [Chuckles]

So, don’t use Satsang to create this guilty, unworthy seeker idea about yourself. What is picked up is picked up. Now it is gone.

No concept has ever survived this moment. Isn’t this good news? No concept has ever survived this moment. You’re empty of it now.

It might repeat itself. It might come again. But, again, it requires your belief. This is the magic of this. Freedom is simpler. The mind has a tougher job.

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There Are No Preconditions for Truth

Whatever wave might be arising on the ocean, the ocean remains ocean. We got so used to describing the ocean based on the quality of the wave. (‘It’s so turbulent. It’s very peaceful.’) It’s just on the surface layer. It’s nothing compared to the ocean. Compared to the limitless, it is more than nothing. [Chuckles]

All these waves of thoughts and emotions and perceptions, what are they, where are they, in relation to the Reality of You?

When I say ‘Go beyond perception’ I know it cannot be ‘done’. Something just takes hold of this. All this is just at a perception level. But I Am much beyond this.

[Silence]

You don’t have to understand anything. You don’t have to think anything. You don’t have to feel anything. You don’t have to feel, think, do all these ideas you have taken about yourself.

For the Truth to be apparent, there are no preconditions.

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Can You Remain Without Your Conclusions?

If they made a move called ‘Finding Nemo’…, but suppose the premise of the movie was that Nemo goes looking for Nemo. Would you say it is absurd? The movie starts with the character named Nemo and he says ‘I have to go and find Nemo.’ You say ‘What crazy movie is this?’ Isn’t it strange? But when we say ‘I am looking for the Self, I want to find the Self’…, why is that not absurd? It should be, isn’t it? What must you be to go finding the Self?

And the word ‘Self’ itself signifies Self. ‘I am going to find myself; my Self.’ [Chuckles] This is the funny seeker identity. And we, humanity, have always been seeking. We have been seeking different things. But we come to this seeking which is now looking for the Self because it got tired of finding these transitory things, things that come and go. And somewhere, all of us know that the death of the body is approaching. That is inescapable. What do they say? ‘There are two things which are inevitable; death and taxes.’ [Chuckles] So death is coming. And as we know this, we want to go beyond this. What is beyond death?

And it doesn’t matter how old we are. In the Indian scriptures there is a young boy, Nachiketa, who also has the same conversation with the God of Death, who offers him all kinds of worldly pleasure. He says ‘Don’t ask me for this knowledge. You are just a young boy. You have your whole life to entertain yourself with all kinds of pleasures.’ But this young boy says ‘Will any of that outlast my death? Will it outlast you?’ And the God of Death says ‘No.’ This boy says ‘No, then I don’t want that because it is another coming and going.’

So, all of us, some way or the other, if we are in satsang, are like that young boy. We are truly asking ourself ‘What is it that is beyond death? Who am I? Am I something that will die? Am I something that was born?’ And then we go on this adventure of trying to find the Self. And it is a beautiful adventure actually, with all the dramas of the ups and downs, all the transitory ideas of getting it and losing it, of being a worthy seeker and being an unworthy seeker. But ultimately, we come to see that ‘I cannot find it like I find other objects. I cannot find it like a feeling. I will not find it like an inference.’ It will not be the same quality as Archimedes who discovered the scientific principle of buoyancy and shouted in the bathtub ‘eureka!’ because he solved something. So, you will not resolve it or solve it in this way. It is independent of whatever you might be feeling also. You don’t need to have a full yoga body, or if you have an unhealthy body; either way it has nothing to do with the Self. It doesn’t matter how much money is in your bank account or not. It doesn’t matter whether we have wonderful personal relationships or not. None of this matters. What is it that You Are…, independent of all of these things? Our worldly situation, our bodily situation, our mental situation, our psychological situation, our intellectual situation; all these stories are there. Consciousness is playing with all of these. But You are beyond all of this. How long will we use these benchmarks to signify ourself?

What does the ‘I’ represent?

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The Sages have given us many clues. They have said that: That which changes is not the Self; that which comes and goes is not Your Reality…., That which cannot be perceived through

worldly eyes and yet it is That which knows Itself. Who are you? What knows your existence?

You see, this is so primal to us that the mind can come and say ‘It can’t be this, because this is too obvious.’ How many have heard this song? ‘Is that it? Ananta, is that it? It is so simple. It is too straight forward.’ But actually, now we are tired of that which is complex. What is it that Ashtavakra said? ‘The mind is complex, let it go.’

The world is like a coloring book of Consciousness. It has colored all these colors, but within this coloring book It has taken one object and said ‘this is me’. The entire book, the entire universe, is nothing but a giant coloring book. The page that It is visiting, the frame that It is visiting with attention, that seems to create time and space. All of these are nothing but aspects of Consciousness Itself. Time is only so that It doesn’t taste every color all at one go. It wants to savor every bite. Space is only so that everything doesn’t continue to appear as one; which is Its actual reality, but It wants to savor Itself in all Its flavor. That’s why time and space.

In Reality, You are beyond this time. You are not contained in any space. And all of these are not fancy things; they are not esoteric. And the best, best news is, that as you are empty of notions, this truth is completely apparent to You.

The mind will protest and say ‘It is not apparent to me, actually.’ It is not apparent to the mind and it will really never be. To the mind, all of this will only seem like a concept. But what is your insight about yourself Right Now? No report is needed. In your heart you know that this body boundary is not my Reality.

Where are you now?

Do you have a location? Do you have a shape?

The sensations that you are experiencing, do they contain you, or do You contain them?

What perceives all things?

And what is aware of this perceiving?

Can you remain without your conclusions? Can you remain without your interpretations? You have deluded yourself to believe that they are helpful to you. But they are completely meaningless.

You will not find the Self in any corner of the world. You might run a thousand miles in every direction looking for the Self, but you will not find it there. You will not find it in any corner of the body. All your chakras might be open, all the energies might be flowing, but that is not the

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Self. You will not find it in any emotion, any feeling; joy or pain. You won’t find it in any well- dressed thought because all these are changing. The Self is the unchanging.

All three states; the waking state, the dream state, sleep state, and the turiya state…, none of these states can contain You. But you have believed yourself to be an object in this waking state. How could that be? Because You were prior to this.

Even if there is a world in time, without You there is no time, for you are the substratum. In none of these things can You be contained.

You don’t even have to transcend them, just transcend your ideas of them. You don’t even have to transcend the ideas of them, just transcend the idea of yourself. Just this one idea; the idea of ‘I’ is enough. The idea of ‘I’ …, when you transcend it, the truth of the real ‘I’ is completely apparent. No struggle needed. All the struggle is just the withdrawal symptoms of the idea of ‘I’.

It is a funny struggle. It is like the fish swimming comfortably in water but dreaming that it is thirsting for water. This beautiful amusement park is here for Your joy and yet You got so caught up in the ride that You forgot Its playfulness; the fact that nothing here can hurt You. It is safer than Disneyland. [Laughter]

And through the ages, you have heard so many assurances that Your Reality is That which cannot be cut, it cannot be burned, it cannot be scratched. And nobody has said that you will become that Immortal one; everyone has said that You Are That.

Just transcend this idea of ‘I’. Let it be wobbly for a bit, if it has to be. It is like we’ve had these needless crutches. We are absolutely fine, but we have these crutches because we believed we need them. When we throw away these needless crutches, for a while it can play as if it is a bit wobbly. ‘Without my crutch what am I doing? I am going to fall.’ But you are like a bird with perfectly-functioning wings, believing that you need crutches to walk; but actually, You can fly. So, the wobbliness is your take-off. You might feel like it is a falling.

Don’t buy the story of ‘I’. Don’t let the concept rest behind any phenomenal thing. Don’t let the concept of ‘I’ rest behind relationships, don’t let it rest behind money, don’t let it rest behind health of the body, and don’t let it rest behind the seeker identity. You are none of these. How long will you represent one of these, or many of these?

That is why the question is: ‘Who does ‘I’ represent?’ All confusion is only about this. All confusion, no matter what it might seem like, is about ‘Who I am’. All regret, all guilt, all pride, everything that you can call suffering is just a confusion about ‘I’.

If You are ‘All There Is’ (in fact, beyond even ‘All There Is’) tell me what is Your suffering? What is Your trouble? First You have to invent the individual.

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Doership Gets Replaced with Wonder

This is a very nice report actually, as far as seva is concerned here, because we don’t have an ashram and we don’t have any donation; nothing. No financial work needs to be done, no actual physical work (not much; some clean-up things happen here that need to be done). So here, I have always suggested that transcript seva is the best. And many who have done this transcript seva they feel like ‘Before we did this, we never heard what you were saying in satsang. It felt like we were hearing but when we typed the transcript we said Oh, this is what you are saying!’

So, I feel like it is very beautiful because it immerses in you so much in the power of satsang, in the field of satsang. And most of you actually have done the transcripts so you have experienced this. So, this can happen; very strong satsang can happen when we are in the transcript seva group. And you say that there is something hit you so strong that you saw that you are not contained in the waking state nor you are not contained in any state; the body doesn’t contain you. So, this hits home as Your Reality at some point.

This is very good because many of us (especially in India) have heard this concepts for a long time, that ‘You are not this body, You are beyond’ so it has become just conceptual. But as you immerse yourself in the satsang field, you will see this as Your Reality. You will see that this body is just in the appearance on your own screen and this idea that ‘I was speaking the words, I was doing the actions’ …, all this start to fade away. And this sense of doership gets replaced with the sense of wonder. Just like a wonder of a child when you are reading a fantasy story or something.

So, this is the wonder that comes because you don’t know but what this play is going to bring. It’s a beautiful play because you see that You cannot be hurt in it, You cannot be harmed in it. So, that which you call stress, which used to be so strong…, as long as we believe ourselves to be individual, when we believe ourselves to be an object, then an object can obviously be harmed by other objects. Once you see that you are not, that you have no objective reality (all that is objective is just a play appearing in front of you) then all this doesn’t have a place to land. Grievances, anger, fear; all of these can come and go but they don’t have a landing point. Just like they are trying to land on space but they can’t find a hold; nothing to hold on.

So, like this, as you see Yourself beyond limitations. And we don’t even have to make any conclusion, any judgement, nothing. Don’t try to answer ‘What is happening to me?’ Don’t try to answer these questions because if you make a conclusion then again, it will become a position. Remain position-less, empty of any reference point about yourself. Because you will not become ‘The Free One’. ‘The Free Person’ can only be another position that you will take; and that can only come if you make a conclusion about yourself.

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So, if you don’t allow your mind to sell you any story about what is happening to you and whether something is real or not real and whether you are free or not free, whether you have got it or didn’t get it; none of this applicable actually.

This is very good. So, this the force of the words of my Master who is using this body also as an instrument. As you are transcribing these words, you are finding that the mind’s runway, the mind’s landing strip, is being chopped away. Because nothing can represent You. Then only the Truth is your truest representation. As nothing phenomenal becomes a container for You, then You will find that You are beyond all concepts, beyond all that is perceived.

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This Is Also ‘The Checker-Guy’

A:So, we got so used to making a report about ourself on the basis of this side of attention [Makes a gesture away from the body] which is the content which is being brought.

Q: Exactly.

A:So, that´s why I draw this line of Being. [Holds up the side of his hand] Actually it´s not to be taken seriously. There is no ‘line’ of Being. But suppose this is the Being [Holds up the side of his hand] then on this side [Moves hand to his right side] is all the perceptual world or phenomena; thoughts, pain, pleasure, all of this is there. And you rightly said attention is going to all of this.

Now, what is attention reporting back to? So, attention is like your spy that is bringing you all this. Who are you?

Q:So, actually what I am seeing, Father, is that it all arises from emptiness in a sense.

A:Yes.

Q:It seems (I don´t know if that is correct or not) there is no attribute. There is nothing I can say.

And even ‘I Am’ seems to happen; it doesn´t have any attributes it seems, Father. You know, it´s just that all this appearance is there. Everything is there. It´s not me, yet I Am. ‘I Am’ has no shape; or it seems there is nothing to grasp.

A: Yeah, exactly.

Q:You know? There is struggle in the mind to grasp, but that is also seen.

A:The mind struggles to define it.

Q:Yes, yes.

A:It cannot define it. That´s a ‘grasp’ because you are not trying to grasp something that you can´t leave. I ask you: ‘Can you stop being?’ You can´t stop being.

Q: No, and yet ‘being’ is not a tangible thing. It´s not…, it´s emptiness, Father.

A:Yes, it is prior to time and space. So, you cannot give it spatial constructs or time-based constructs.

Q: And there is no sensation to it.

A:Yes, except that there is a qualitative tasting of ‘I Am’ …, like ‘I exist now’ verses ‘I was not, when there was sleep’.

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Q:Yes, yes, yes. So, it almost seems like that is the only difference between Awareness and ‘I Am’.

A: Yeah.

Q: ‘I Am’ is just …

A:… the extension of Awareness; the extension which has the qualitative sense of existence but it is not separate from the Self.

Q:Okay, as I look, Father, there are a lot of subtle, subtle, subtle sensations. Some of them are just very subtle. And I know that even bliss is not Me, even happiness is not Me…

A: Yeah.

Q:The mind is slowing. I can see the grasping reducing over the last few days. It is trying to grasp but it can´t grasp (but it is still grasping). There is nothing I can use to describe anything. But definitely, I am seeing what´s been happening last few days, Father; there´s a seeing of the mind/body kind of fighting, trying to do something…, and I don´t know what is going on.

[Laughs]

A:It´s best to not know, because we don´t even really know that. It might feel like ‘I have a memory of what was happening the last few days’ but what memory is really reliable? So, we don´t know anything about past, really, and we definitely don´t know anything about the future. So, all you have is that You Exist Now. And ultimately even this existence is not Your container.

So, if we don´t go to anything past or future, and we don´t go with any interpretation of any sensation, of anything of this side of ‘I Am’ [Makes a gesture away from his body] any perception…

Q: It feels empty…

A: But is it perceptually empty, in the sense of…, is it like an ’empty room’ empty?

Q: No, no, no…

A:Whatever it feels like, what witnesses that?

Q:The witnessing is just happening.

A:Yes, is it empty or full?

Q: It doesn’t have a quality.

A:Even that, it is not. Although if I were to force you and say ‘You have to pick one’ and you say ‘Okay, empty seems better because…’

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Q: It seems full also…

A:Yes, actually it´s true. So, that´s why we come to ‘not applicable’. You see? But if we start Satsang by saying ‘Not applicable’ to everything, then it won´t make much sense. So, we have to use terms like empty, we have to use terms like position-less, reference-less, unchanging, primal witness. And yet, we will see that nothing really applies to This. You are that No-thing to which nothing applies.

Q:And yet…, nothing applies. I can´t turn it off and I am really just watching it, Father. The mind really struggles to understand this.

A:So, I am saying to you that you don´t have to cater to the mind at all. Whether it is struggling or relaxed is none of your concern anymore. Let it do its thing, whatever it has to do.

Q:But what is nice, Father, is that even this ‘checker-guy’ is starting to be seen. The checker-guy is not affecting Me. There is something that it can´t touch. It can only report on something…

A:Yes, and this is also the checker-guy. [Laughter in the room] You see, it is tricky and has happened very naturally for all of us. They say ‘I see the checker-guy is also ….’ That one! [Laughter] ‘I see this one is also…’

Just like any layer of conclusion, any layer of interpretation actually, is the mind trying to subtly get [something] like, ‘Give me one tick mark, give me one approval, give me one yes.’ [Laughter] And it seems like you come to Satsang saying ‘I am like…’ [And I say] ‘No, not that.’ [You’re saying] ‘Yeah and even that is….’ [And I say] ‘Not that.’ [And you say] ‘But you know

what I mean! No, please come on…’ [Laughing together] [I say] ‘But actually, no, not that.’

Then you see that the mind…., all these layers…, even including the Self…, it could arise from a

very natural insight that you are having, but it likes to take on something. It could be very subtle. I have seen many, many times over the years that it starts off as a very subtle thing and then ‘Boom!’ [Makes exploding gesture with arms] When I see a bit of concluding… [Makes gestures of discarding that also]

Q: Yeah, this was good. Thank you, Father.

A:You see? Because even our best conclusions actually are sometimes a defence-mechanism from the wobbliness of just not knowing anything at all. Empty of all notions. But I am telling you, we start enjoying this. So, then, all this which can feel like conclusions or where things are going or what is happening can feel like ‘No, no, I don´t need it’. The wonder of this play is so beautiful, so empty of concepts, that you will not want a concept to define it. Then concepts will arise from you just in this way; as it might seem like there are many others who are concept- ridden so some concepts might arise from your mouth to rid them of their concepts. But you will never take your own notions very seriously.

So, the nature of the mind? Not your concern now. How it is transitioning or not? Nothing to do

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with you. What is happening in the body? Also, Consciousness. Everything; Consciousness. And your inquiry has brought you here…, and this is surrender. Or your surrender has brought you here…, and this is your true inquiry. Here you are Seeing that there is no difference actually. Because the irrelevant test finally becomes irrelevant, whether you call it inquiry or you call it surrender.

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Awareness Is Beyond Subject and Object

A: ‘How you know something now?’

So, let’s go slowly on that. So, you have a perception of something; you have the experience, a phenomenal experience of something. So, there’s a perceptual input coming in and you feel like ‘I know this experientially.’

There is a body sitting in front of you.

These words are being heard.

All these perceptions are happening.

So, that is one knowing.

How do you know the Earth is round, or spherical? It’s a conceptual belief actually. You have a concept of it which has come from credible sources; our parents, our teachers have told us that the Earth is spherical and also there is perceptual evidence (you’ve seen photos). So, you have the concept of something. So, for example if I say ‘There are trillions of stars in the sky’ …, nobody has counted them (maybe somebody has tried). It is a computation. So, you have a perceptual knowledge, you have a conceptual knowledge, and then you have a computational knowledge (like an inferential knowledge). Now, what knows all of this?

Let me give you a simpler question:

What knows your existence?

What type of knowledge is your existence?

How do you know you exist?

Do you have a perception of your existence?

I say ‘Can you stop being?’ That ‘being’ that did not stop, did you have a perception of it?

Q: An idea.

A:Yes, but if that idea was not there…, because all ideas they come and go. Does your existence also come and go with the idea?

Q: [Laughs]

A:So, this we can check. Actually, in this moment, you have no idea; but you exist. It takes a moment to pull in an idea; but your existence is prior to that.

So, just go deeply into the question, ‘Can I stop being?’ And in fact, try to stop ‘being’. Try to ‘not be’.

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Succeeding? Are you succeeding? If you try to ‘not be’ (try to ‘not be’ now) …, are you making progress?

Q: [Laughs]

A:Cannot, isn’t it? No matter how hard we try, this existence just exists effortlessly. That which exists effortlessly; no matter how much effort we make, it does not go away. So, your existence is here, but the idea of it is coming and going. So, it is independent of the idea of it; of the concept of it.

Are you seeing your existence with your eyes?

Are you hearing it with your ears?

Smelling it with your nose?

Tasting it with your tongue?

Are any of these senses helping you figure out that you exist?

So, it is not a perception in that way. All the concepts also, we said, they are coming and going.

So, what is this ‘Knowing’ that knows of your existence?

And does It know Itself?

That’s how your question is answered. Because all these objects are the coming and going. That’s why the sages are saying that ‘That which is coming and going is not the Reality. That which remains unchanging is the Reality.’

Now your question is ‘Is that an object or a subject?’ And you say that ‘I know it is the subject. But how do I see this for myself?’

So, you know you exist? Or no?

Q: Yes.

A: What knows that you exist?

Now when you say ‘I am aware’ it is the Knowing of Awareness Itself. Self-Awareness is evident in that statement ‘I am aware.’

Because when you say ‘I am sitting’ …, you know what sitting is. ‘I am standing’ …, you know what standing is. ‘I am angry’ …, you know what anger is. In the same way, when you say ‘I am aware’ it is the dissolution of the subject-object relationship, but it is the subjective Knowing of Itself. Awareness does not Know itself as an object. Actually, it is beyond subject and object,

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isn’t it? (Maybe you lost me somewhere.) But when we say ‘I am aware’ what is it that we are referring to?

Now you see mind cannot help you; all concepts cannot help you. It has to become very, very innocent here. Because no concept, no learned knowledge, nothing, can support us here. Here we are a blank.

‘I am aware.’ What is the distinction between this ‘I’ and ‘aware’?

All objects are gone; they don’t matter here.

And this Truth is apparent to you when you are empty of all notions.

This is the conundrum. We feel that we will know it when you have the right notion of it. But this Self is completely Known to Itself. But when it plays with any notion of Itself, it seems to lose Itself. (You’re with me?) So, if you pick up any idea about it, that is not it. And as you are empty of all ideas, that is it. [Chuckles]

Now are you able to articulate it? Maybe not; not yet, anyway. Are you able to explain it (what you found)? No. Is your mind convinced that you found something? No. Sometimes, it can be, but mostly no. Because it will keep saying ‘Not yet, not yet, not there yet.’

So, independent of all of that, in this moment, You Are It …, independent of whatever objects might be perceived; independent even of this Consciousness perceiver.

Some of these words might not immediately hit home, but at least they get seeded. That which is aware even of your existence; even aware of the perceiver itself (the phenomenal perceiver).

So, we step back even from this play of subject and object and we see that ‘I am aware.’ Here all boundaries between the dynamic aspect of the Self and the non-dynamic (the non-phenomenal) aspect of the Self start to dissolve; they start to fade away. All is the Self here. No distinction is valid here. Who is the subject for who? Who is the object for who? All this is gone.

Q: [Audio cut out]

A:No, well in a way, but not really because all intelligence is also appearing from out of This only. So, it is not a sort of an inert seeing. Many times, we can pick up this idea (and many spiritual paths also have this idea) that the Self, the ultimate Self, is like one (sorry to use the word) dumb thing just sitting there. No. It is the Supreme Intelligence from which all intelligence arises. It is the All-Knowing from which all the different types of knowing arise. All this perceptual knowing, conceptual knowing, emotional knowing; knowing of existence itself, all of this comes from That. So, That must be the Source of all knowingness; but that knowingness is beyond mental comprehension.

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That is the ground on which Consciousness is born. It’s not even ground like ‘ground’. That No- thing-ness from which all things arise. That which is the Source of all, gives birth to all, and yet remains untouched; dissolves all back into Itself, and yet remains untouched.

So, it might seem like ‘I don’t get anything when I remain empty of concepts’ but all of this becomes immediately apparent to you. You might not have the words yet to translate this insight into explanation. That is fine. That’s why I keep saying ‘Don’t go with any inference. Stay with your natural insight.’ All that is happening from here is the speaking of that. What is so natural to you right now? None of this has ever been lost, in Reality, to You.

Now, the only thing that we are dealing with is the withdrawal symptoms from concepts. Because if you See that ‘As I am notion-less, I am not suffering, I am not missing the Truth also; It is so apparent.’ But when the concepts of my individuality start to come again, it seems like there is some magnetism in them; there is some power in them to grab us.

So, that’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Satsang is the rehab for Consciousness Itself, by Consciousness Itself.’ And what is the discovery? Consciousness Itself.

This is the play. And once you have this longing for this in your Heart, then no other play seems as sweet as this.

When you See the pristine Reality of You, then the play of shrugging off all this conceptual dust is the best. So, we come every day to Satsang to shrug off this conceptual dust that we picked up along the way. And our pristine, shining Truth is revealing Itself.

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Is There a Deeper Knowing Than Perception?

A:First we have to say ‘What is this mind? Who is perceiving this mind?’

Q:Is the mind only perceiving the mind or …?

A:That is what I am asking; is the mind perceiving the mind?

Q:No.

A:No. [Laughs] This is when you know the answers. So, who is, then?

It is not a second-hand report. [Another satsang member] is not telling you what your mind is saying. And yet there is some hesitation in calling it ‘I’. What is that?

Because we have identified ‘I’ with the wrong thing for so long, so now that we are saying ‘Oh, that one is not perceiving the mind’ and yet it is You…, so, for a while it can seem like it is not ‘I’. But it is ‘I’ But it is a new type of ‘I’ …, a fresh ‘I’. We are Seeing with fresh eyes, this fresh ‘I’ that we have not really looked at. We have just presumed that the mind is ‘I’ …, or who the mind is representing as ‘I’.

Now, over the last few days I have asked you ‘Who is it? Where is the person that has this ‘lawyer’ who is representing it?’ And you looked and you found nobody like that is there. But who is even making this discovery? What is the quality of that one?

Q: Definitely not the mind, but …

A:Yes, definitely not the mind, in the definition of the mind which Bhagavan [Sri Ramana

Maharshi] used sometimes, which was ‘The mind is nothing but a bundle of thoughts’. So, a bundle of thoughts cannot perceive themselves. (There is a bigger definition of mind but don’t worry about that; we don’t use that.)

Just stay with this question ‘What is perceiving it?’ Thought is coming, going. What is the space between thought? Then next thought is coming, going. What perceives this coming and going? Is it you?

Q: Yes.

A: Tell me about that ‘you’.

Q: [Silence]

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A:And this is a question for all of you: The one that perceives thoughts and the space between thoughts, what can you tell me about that?

[Silence]

Can that one be perceived?

Q: No.

A:No. Then how are you reporting on it? Is there a deeper knowing than perception?

I won’t spoil it completely for you; this is a beautiful contemplation. My Master [Sri Mooji] says this is his ‘piranha’ question: ‘Can the perceiver be perceived?’ And as you contemplate this question, all ideas about the false that you considered yourself to be will start to fall away. The piranha eats everything in its path. Have you heard of this fish? Like this, it will eat up all the concepts that you had about yourself.

Now we have a question like this then don’t change the question, because the mind will say ‘Let’s go do ‘Am I aware now?’ or ‘Let’s go to ‘Can I stop being?’ You already started digging a well with this question; the water is near. Don’t leave this question, because it is appealing to you.

Something is perceiving thought and the space between these thoughts. Can this perceiver be perceived?

[Silence]

Q:The perceiver can only perceive perceiving.

A:Is this an inference or is this an insight?

Q:Insight.

A:So, what is the basis of this insight?

Q: It’s something existing other than mind.

A: Yes. What is the nature of that existence and how is it known?

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This is very good. Something exists beyond mind. Most in humanity don’t even come to this recognition, so this is already very good. There is an existence beyond mind; how is this existence known, or how is it perceived?

[Silence]

Q: Mind cannot, is not able to conceive that.

A:Yes, because mind is just a bundle of thoughts and similar energy like imagination, memory; all of this is coming and going.

What about this perceiver, is it coming and going?

What knows this?

What is the color of this perceiver?

Q: No color.

A:What is the shape?

Q:No shape.

A:How old is it?

Q:No Age.

A:No age, no color, no shape. What is the taste of it?

Q:No taste.

A:Any other experience you’ve had like this? Have you ever reported on the existence of something which doesn’t have any attribute, any quality?

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This Joy is Beyond Feeling

A:But joy is also a taste. This Perceiver, is it joyful? Or joyless?

Q:Joyful.

A:If joy was not there, will it cease to be? In the sense that, when you are not feeling joy, when you are feeling sorrow, say you are feeling grief…, does the Perceiver go away? (Independent of whatever the quality of feeling might be.) Because even joy is perceived, grief is perceived.

Now there is another type of joy and I will tell you about sometime, but that becomes very attractive to us… (‘Tell me about Ananda of Sat-Chit-Ananda’).

But here I have started saying these days that: Do you want the Truth for the sake of Truth?

Or because of the by-products that it will bring to us? So, independent of the by-products, the longing in our Heart now is for the Truth Itself.

So, this that perceives the opposites of emotion, of all pain and pleasure also, this is independent of even this feeling of joy; independent of all feelings.

Don’t settle for any answers because that knowing is never a True Knowing. Just stay with your insight.

What is it that perceives the coming and going of all things?

Is that itself a thing?

If that is not a thing, then what am I?

What am I?

What is your relationship with this perceiver?

Where are you in relation to it?

Perceiver is where? You are where?

Q: Both are here.

A:Both are at same location?

Q:[Silent]

A:So start with one. Where are you?

Q:Here.

A: Here? ‘Here’ means?

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Q: This space.

A:In the body? Body ‘here’? Body is here. Are you this body? [Chuckles]

Q:[Nodding ‘No’]

A: Then? If you are not the body, where are you?

Body seems to be here, surrounded by other objects. It is an object itself.

If you are not an object, then, where are you?

If you are not an object, can you have a location?

Q: [Nodding ‘No’]

A:So, where are you?

Q:Here.

A:Here. ‘Here’ means?

Q:Awareness.

A:Awareness?

Q:Of the perception.

A:What is not here? What can hurt you here? What do you want here?

Are you free or bound? [Silence] Can you leave here? [Silence] Are there questions here?

Are there conclusions here?

Q: [Nodding ‘No’]

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A:Now, what did we discover? We discovered that there is a mind (which is a ‘coming and going’ of these thoughts). There is a Being, this Consciousness, which perceives it. And there is a deeper aspect of the Self which is Awareness…, which is aware of even this moving aspect called Consciousness.

Now from this understanding, what is happening?

When we say we are shutting off the mind, what are we talking about?

Did we invent another entity?

Is there another entity?

Q: Like everyone had shut off their mind.

A:‘Everyone’ is what? There is mind, there is Consciousness and That which is aware even of Consciousness. What is ‘everyone’?

Q: Consciousnesses

A:Consciousness. Now, are there multiple Consciousness?

Q:It is one.

A:So, Consciousness sometimes plays with the mind; sometimes it doesn’t play with the mind. Does Consciousness have the question of how to shut off the mind?

Q: No.

A:Who does?

Q:Mind.

A:[Chuckles] It’s the thief which tries to catch the thief, posing as if it were the policeman.

If you See the mind for what it is, then what trouble can it cause you? The fluttering of the mind is nothing; not even a gentle breeze flowing through you. Then, will you want to shut it off?

Q:[Nodding ‘No’]

A:So, mind doesn’t have to go. It only becomes powerless. As Consciousness is withdrawing its belief from it, it becomes nothing but just a gentle movement of energy. That’s all.

But if you take on the project if how to shut off the mind then you have believed the mind again. [Chuckles]. And if Consciousness wants to play that way, then it will play that way. But this aspect of Consciousness is here to remind you that this is also a mind trap.

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Empty of that notion, how are you? [Silence]

Is there a desire for something?

Q: [Nodding ‘No’]

A:Is it a boring nothing?

Q:No.

A:Neither boring nor exciting. And as you get used to this No-thing, then the Ananda of this No- thing, the bliss of this No-thing, will become more and more apparent. So, you won’t feel like you are missing any joy or some feeling…, because this joy is beyond feeling.

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To ‘Just Be’ Can Also Become a Position

I was saying the other day that even the idea of ‘Just being, to just be’ can also become a position., that ‘I found a way to be free, and the way to be free is to just be.’ But in the ‘Just be’ the ‘I’ who is doing the ‘Just be’ is not there. I wonder if it’s clear like that? You see, many times you can decide to be just be (‘I’m going to just be now’) [Chuckles] but it’s still a mask. Empty of all masks, you are naturally just being. Completely open, completely empty of any position, Being is here effortlessly. That’s why we call this the pathless path. But actually, there is no way, there is no strategy, there is no practice that will make you That. Why? Because You already Are That.

Therefore, Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘True knowledge is just the dropping of ignorance.’ It’s not the picking up of something new. That’s why Bhagavan also said that the words of satsang are just the thorns we are using to remove the thorns which are already embedded. What are these thorns? These thorns are the beliefs we have about ourselves; the conditions we have about ourselves. ‘I am this way. I am that way. I like this. I don’t like this. These are my friends. There are my enemies. These I have grievances against. These I really desire.’ All these conditions at the center of which is the individual idea of ‘me’. The identity of ‘I’. This is ignorance. Just these false ideas about ourselves, they are being dropped.

But you will not become something other than You already Are. You see? The journey from ‘person’ to Being is transformative only in the sense of the dropping of the person, not the creation of a new Being. This is a very important point which gets mistaken many times. It is not something new which is being added on. To use the metaphor, we can say that it is just this (what I call) conceptual dust which is being shrugged off now.

The bath in the Ganga has already happen this moment. All the dust is off. But as Consciousness, You can decide to pick up some more. ‘I will have a dust-bath with the mind.’ But as you remain empty of these notions, then the notion of ‘person’ doesn’t have any room. As we remain concept-less, it is the mind which has run out of moves…, (unless the ‘remain concept-less’ itself has become a concept).

Now, you might feel that ‘If I’m empty of notions, what does that have to do with the Self? Have I found the Self? I didn’t find the Self. Where is God?’ This might be an idea. But this is not true. You are actually always experiencing only the Truth. That’s why [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘You are not experiencing suffering, but you are suffering your experiencing.’ You are experiencing only the Truth. You are suffering from your mental interpretation of it. We cannot suffer from that which is naturally here without any interpretation. No suffering is possible.

We can look at this in some depth, if you like. What is an example of suffering?

Sangha: Believing your thought.

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A:Believing your thought. So, suppose now Krishna is sitting here. The mind can come and say

‘I don’t like the way he’s sitting.’ That notion can come; and if that notion is believed, then that becomes a grievance. So, the experience is just an experience; certain sensation moving about. But when the interpretation comes, then it comes with its likes and dislikes; anything that we call suffering. This is an example of ‘grievance’. The other example could be ‘It’s a gate’. Some word emerged from here and that is believed, then that becomes a guilt. But you see that without this idea, what is appearing is just appearing.

Now when all of this is appearing, what are you? Don’t try to interpret it. Don’t be quick to the answer. Are you an object along with the rest of the appearance? (Again, I’m saying I want no answers.) As you are empty of any notion, what do you find yourself to be?

I’m emphasizing over and over that I don’t want answers because our idea of knowing has become ‘I have the right concept of it.’ So, I’m saying that I’m not interested in any concept that you come up with. The question has been asked; you leave the question unmolested by any notion. If any notion comes, you let it come and go. Don’t bother with it, because I’m not interested. And you also don’t be interested.

Your question is: This appearance is happening, all that is appearing is appearing:

What are You?

Are You also an appearance?

Are You also an object?

What is aware of all of these appearances?

Is That also an object?

You are not confused about this at all in Reality, you see? You concepts might be getting mixed up, but that is not Your confusion; that is the confusion of the mind.

But this secret I want to tell you all today (I’ve told you before) that as you are empty of any notion about yourself, the Truth is Here; the truth is completely apparent to You. You don’t have to take a step, You don’t have to move an inch to find the Truth.

That’s why Papaji [Sri Poonja] used to take a different approach. He would say ‘Okay, you want the Self? Just for a fraction of a moment, don’t think.’ So, when he used to say ‘Don’t think’ …, in that moment, the mind would just stop for a moment; and Truth is completely apparent.

Now, I don’t usually say ‘Don’t think’ because that becomes a thing also. We know that thought just starts coming; then ‘Oh, I can’t stop thinking.’ So, don’t worry about that. But You see that as you are empty, as You allow these notions to come and go, what You Are is completely present. You are aware of Your existence. You don’t have to struggle with it at all. You don’t

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have to make this a conclusion. Whatever judgment, conclusion, concept you might be believing about yourself, the Truth never changes. The Truth is not waiting for your mind certificate. [That you are awake now, enlightened] Truth is not waiting for your attention to settle down. Whatever benchmark you have created for yourself to be free, to find freedom, the Truth is not waiting for that benchmark. You might have said that ‘But I need to settle into this.’ Truth is not waiting for that. ‘I just have to stabilize a bit more.’ Truth is not waiting for that. Because in all of this, the ‘I’ is the false one. It is not the true ‘I’. The ocean is not waiting for the waves to have certain quality before it becomes the ocean. But the ocean, strangely enough, gave itself the power to identify with the wave, to believe the idea that ‘I am a wave’.

That’s why I’ve been asking this recently: How long will you believe yourself to be just this set of sensations?

And if you want to believe that you are a set of sensations, then take a bigger jump, and believe that you are every set of sensations; every very visual, every sound, every taste. That at least is closer to the Truth of what You Are.

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This is Our Biggest Attachment

A:The mind uses even our deepest spiritual insights to make it about ‘me’. (‘I found it. Why does this still happen?’) How quick we are to pick up. You could be experiencing your very original Self in which there is no ‘me’ and ‘no’ you. All this universe might be just a little bit of shining light, but in the midst of all this, your mind would come and say ‘Okay, this is good, but what does it do for me?’ [Smiles] You better sacrifice this ‘me’ at the Heart of the Satguru.

This is our biggest attachment. We might feel like our biggest attachment is our family, our children, but actually it is only because they are ‘my’ children. The ‘me’ is primary. My plants in the garden, my house, my body, my relationship. Imagine if you cared about every relationship as much as you cared about yours? [Chuckles] How would that be? Imagine if you cared about everyone’s money as you cared about yours; everyone’s freedom as much as you cared about yours.

This ‘me, me, me’. We often call this ego ‘the cat’ (actually we should call it a goat) …, always ‘me, me, me’. Every time you are going ‘me, me, me’ know that it is the goat talking, not you.

Nobody can use this knowledge for any sort of personal benefit. Just like knowing it is a movie doesn’t change the content of the movie; nothing has to happen. This is what the Zen Masters were trying to say when they said: Before enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water; after enlightenment, chopping wood, fetching water (and I usually say ‘or not’).

But it is a chop to this expectation that ‘Something should be different in my life now that I am discovering the Truth of who I am.’ If you truly Are, then you know that it is not this bucket of flesh and blood which is discovering the Truth, so why should things be different for this? There is still attachment to this set of sensations. [The mind/body identity]

You are not contained in this universe. If anything, the universe is contained in You. If you give it the notion of reality, it is contained in You. If you don’t even give it the notion of reality then the universe has never happened. But either way, You remain untouched.

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The Reality is Never Changed

Omkar had posted something very beautiful the other day from Papa Ramdas ji (Swami Ramdas). So, I’ll read a bit of that here.

Swami ji is saying: “What is self-realization? It is the giving up the pretention that You are not the Self, that You are a mere body. People say to me, “You are God himself.” I reply, “You are also He.” … “We are not He,” they rejoin. What else is this…, but that they simulate, for some Leela of their own, (what I call ‘the play’) hide behind a mask their real and Divine nature?”

Sounds so, so, so similar to what we share in Satsang because the Reality is never changed. It’s only this pretense (what he calls ‘the pretention’) that ‘I am not the Self, I am the body, I am the mind’. The Master is saying that we are One, we are the same. But the mind will come and say ‘But I still don’t have what he has.’ This is the nature of the mind. [Silence] Until we are able to take the Master’s words in our Heart, and just look: ‘what is true? The Master says that I have no boundary. If I keep my belief system aside for one minute, what do I actually find?’ Just these few seconds of open looking.

[Silence]

So, we’ve taken this example of the Master saying that You have no boundary. Is it possible to keep our belief systems aside for a few moments? The mind will come and say ‘No, no, you can’t find this yet. You are too attached to the body. The sensations are too strong right now.’ Can you let all these noises from the mind just come and go? And check for yourself:

Is it true that I have a boundary?

Is it true that I am contained in something?

Am I also an appearance?

Will I also come and go?

Any of these, if you just check openly, without any expectation, without any concept or judgment, no inference, no meaning, then what Swami ji is saying (“You are also He.”) will completely be apparent. Because he did not say that there is any anything really wrong. He just said it’s a pretention. What is Self-Realization? It is giving up the pretention that You are not the Self …, that You are a mere body. He did not say that you have to ‘find’ the Self. Like, Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] also said: ‘True knowledge is just dropping of the ignorance, dropping of the false.’ Knowledge does not have to emerge. It is already there. The Self is Self- illuminating.

People say to me, “You are God himself,” he says. I reply, “You are also He.” (Then the ‘but’ comes.) “But we are not He,” (or I am not He)’ they rejoin. What else is this…, but that they simulate, for some Leela of their own, hide behind a mask their real and Divine nature?”

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Now, he does not also say that you have to now proclaim that ‘I am the Self’. This would be a position. Dropping of the pretense is the not picking up of another concept. Can we remain empty of all notions? This is our natural state, our original nature; Right Now is this. Right Now, you have no pretense. All that is gone; history is gone, seeker is gone. Everything is gone. Masks are coming on the conveyer belt of the mind. Some are terrible masks of the unworthy seeker, some are the fancy proclaimer, but both are masks. Let them come and go. And if you picked one up, what happened? Nothing! It is not the end of the world. Don’t make a big deal about it [Laughs] because it is gone Now. So, no guilt, no unworthiness, no perpetuating this seeker identity based on something from the past.

When I say that we’ve the best clean-up crew in the world…, all your past, all your guilt, all your conditioning, everything is gone Now.

[Silence]

Which notion now is greater than Your Existence, Your Being? No notion is greater than Your Being. Why you want to exchange a notion for your Being? (Or should it be ‘Your Being for a notion?) [Chuckles] Your Being is here effortlessly. Are you going to put it in a box called ‘a concept’? And the idea comes that ‘I have got it’ or ‘not got it’. ‘I am just not ready for this.’ Or ‘I am completely so done.’ [Laughs] Either position is the play of notions. It has nothing to do with any Real You.

Are you with me so far? How many have lost me? [Chuckles] Anything your mind is saying has nothing to do with the Real You. It is just the mask salesman. The mask salesman is coming and saying ‘This mask now is worthy of you. This mask now is worthy of you.’

When are you ready to remain naked of these masks? It can only be Now.

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The Truth Is Independent of the Notion

Q: When you speak of notions, about Atma…, is that about a notion or dropping of the notion?

A:Yes. It is that thorn which you are using it to remove the thorns. But your Atma is independent of the notion ‘I am Atma’. You being seeker is dependent on the notion ‘I am the seeker; I want to find the Truth.’ But the Truth is independent of the notion. So, your Atmiyata, your Atma-ness, is independent of whether you carry the concept or not.

Suppose you didn’t have the notion. You are still here. Your Atma, Your Existence, Your Being is independent of the notion. This is the best test of the false verses true, isn’t it? If that goes when I drop the notion of it, it was not true. You see? Then, at best, it is the thorn that we use to remove other thorns and then throw it away. That is why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] uses the example of the stick used to light the funeral pyre; ultimately, you burn even that stick. So, when we feel like there are too many notions that you are still caught with; when you see that ‘I am getting this identity and that identity and it seems very strong, then I remember I am the Self, I am Atman, I am Brahman’ (whatever the notion might be). Then if it helps to eradicate, to wipe away, all other notions, good. Now that notion is also gone. So, do we need to reiterate it? Not really…, unless we are again getting embroiled in the jungle of notions again.

[Silence]

This example is coming. [Chuckles] It’s like mosquito spray. There are lots of mosquitoes around, so you spray. But once it’s done its job, these mosquitoes are powerless now. Then you don’t need to spray anymore. Because Atma is independent of notion ‘I Am’. So, if you need the mosquito spray, if you feel like it is too too strong (the idea ‘I am this person, I am the body, I am my family, my relationships, my freedom’…, if all these identities are too strong) then if you found something which helps to give peace from all of that (to get all these bugs away) then you can apply that. But even that cannot be ‘something’. Our finding of Truth can’t be notional.

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Advaita is Not a Tool to Help Manage Life

Firstly, it is very good that we’re not in some sort of Advaita denial. Advaita denial means that the experience is something but we’re using a concept from Advaita to try and fight that experience.

So, if the experience is that I’m feeling fearful, and I’m using the concept ‘Oh, I am the Self; I can’t feel fearful’ and yet the fear is bubbling…, in that way, we can get into a worse conflict. But you’re completely right when you say ‘the Self-inquiry, the invitation’ …, these are beautiful tools which have been provided for our direct intuitive insight to the Truth. But it cannot guarantee that they will be the band-aid for some phenomenal trouble that we’re having. Some can even say things like ‘Why does my car break down? I’m so spiritual now. I’m free.’ [Chuckles] These kinds of things. So, we try to apply this truth to various layers of this phenomenal experience but we find that it doesn’t really [help] …, it’s not applicable in that way. That’s why recently lately I have been saying actually ‘Truth for Truth’s sake.’

The beginning of our journey might have been that we came into this because we wanted some freedom from some something, from some feeling, to feel different things, for our life to be a certain way. But there comes a point where you recognize that my longing for the Truth is so empty of expectation that I have no trouble in saying ‘I want the Truth just for Truth’s sake. If nothing changed in my life, I’m still in this looking, in the inquiry, in this invitation for the Truth alone; irrespective of the by-products that it might produce.’

This is a very, very vulnerable part of the seeker’s journey because here all of its expectations of better feeling, better life, better relationships…, all that is being thrown away and we come to this naked surrender. ‘Whatever You do with me, Lord, is fine. Even this fear is Yours to deal with. Nothing I’m doing is helping. But I trust You, my Lord, my Satguru. And whatever in this play I have to face, as You carry me, everything will be well, it will go fine.’

So, then it moves away from Advaita being a tactical tool to try and help us manage our life better to a more open, a more naked existence, in which there is so much openness that in one moment, strong feelings of anxiety might come, the next moment, a peace that might feel so strong that it can never be touched might come. And yet, even these are surrendered at the Father’s feet.

So, as we’re empty of all tactics, everything that we thought we could use to be a certain way, then we come into a greater beauty, actually; that which recently I’ve been calling ‘our notion- less existence’ where we have no plan, no strategy, no interpretation, no judgment about anything that might be the content of our experience. Even the labels start to become milder and milder; not as strong. All the sensations can still be alive; they can still shake up the entire body. It might feel like death is coming. But even in this strong shaking, there is no notion about ‘what is going to happen to me.’

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And we don’t have to ‘do’ this, because in the way it is being said, actually it might start to sound like a task. So, don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to make a task out of it.

I’m just saying that naturally, every moment begins like that. Like, in this moment, you have no notion about yourself. And if I was to say ‘So, tell me what is going on with you’ …, you have to first reach out for those notions, and then make that quote ‘Ah, yesterday, Ananta, this happened (or Father, this happened). The day before, this happened. Then last week when I was at the hospice, then I was feeling this fear of how can I help this one when I, myself am feeling like this.’ These kinds of fears can come. But these are not originally present in this Now. And that is the good news; that whatever might have happened in the last few months, Right Now You Are completely open, completely naked, empty of all notion. And there is nothing special about this Right Now; because everything is this Right Now.

So, although we are not getting into any conceptual denial of reality (we can’t even call it Reality) …, of this experience, we are actually finding the Truth which is so apparent that ‘Whatever the content of my experience might be, I am not contained in that; it is contained in Me’. And you will See that when you are empty of notions, you will find that this Truth is so apparent; that everything, all the anxiety, all the depression, is sensations happening within You. But This, within which it is happening, remains untouched by all of these sensations.

So, although we did not use it as a concept, whenever we find the space to check on the Reality of this…., we’re just checking and we can even say ‘Has this vulnerability, has this fear, taken

over every aspect of my Existence?’ And the mind will come and say ‘Yes, of course it has. You are completely shaking from this fear.’ But if we find the space to check, we’ll find that (and for you, especially, it will be very clear) that there is an aspect that remains untouched. That which witnesses all of this shaking is untouched.

And if you don’t find the space for even this checking, then just make it Guruji’s [Mooji’s] problem.

And if you don’t find the space even to make it Guruji’s problem, then be as that; be identified. It’s fine; because in this moment, you will be empty of that. No feeling of guilt or trying to use something or trying to get it or no unworthiness because of whatever might be appearing; no sense of not doing something right.

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What Lasts Beyond Death?

Q: Can you talk about: What lasts beyond death?

A:What lasts beyond death? One example could be: A glass is full, or the glass is empty; what’s in the glass? Once it’s empty, what’s in it?

Q: Space…, air.

A:Air. Suppose it is empty of air also…

Q:Space.

A:Space. So, it is not ‘nothing’. It is not ‘nothing’ because it has the potential to hold something. If it is ‘nothing’, then I could not put something back in the glass. So, it is empty of water, then I can put juice in it. So, we cannot say it is ‘nothing’ because the potential for existence of something is there. So, actually, there is no such thing as ‘nothing’.

So, after death, again, what exists is that ‘no-thing’ in which again the potential for life is there (or that from which life came in the first place). So’ if it was ‘nothing’ then it could not hold anything including existence or life. So, That is the substratum of all things.

What is a better explanation?

Can you think of ‘nothing’?

Q: No.

A:Cannot even imagine it because even to try and imagine ‘nothing’ we’re imagining an empty space; maybe a dark, empty space. So, this ‘nothing’ is just conceptual.

If we can say something, we can say that after death It is That which is before death and That which is also here in life. Because That is independent of life. The space in the glass is independent of what the glass contains. The space in this room is independent of what this room contains.

So, That from which life comes, That cannot come and go. And the whole point of Satsang is to See this.

Q: Right here, right now.

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A:Right here, right now; That. That which I am, the Reality of ‘I’, is beyond life and death. And then you will find that, in this, we cannot say anything conclusively about time, or future, or past because it is so beyond time and space.

So, to say that ‘Death is the end of all things and life will not come again’ is not valid. To say that ‘Life will come again’ is also not valid. This, we can say: Whatever the primal urge of This is (although even terms like urge do not apply because that means some sort of desire) but This is so beyond even desire that we cannot fathom why creation happens, why existence happens, why life happens. We cannot really fathom it. And yet to communicate (to use some terms in this worldly realm) we say the ‘primal urge’ or the ‘base-primordial desire’ of the Self Itself is to experience Itself in some way. But That cannot even have a desire.

Q:The primal urge, we leave it aside. Individual desires, does that last [beyond] death? Does that stay…

A:Yes, because it is completely possible for it to, because nothing has been contained outside of This [Source]. So, everything has always belonged to This [Source]. Now if It [Source] wants to continue to play with this [phenomena] (again we have to use the concept called ‘play’) if It wants to continue to play with this for a million more lifetimes, It can.

Because the Source of this intelligence (the source of this mind also) is that same Source. This is All There Is. So, where did all of this come from? It is made up of This [Source] alone. So, as long as the play is there (or we can say the urge is there) to play more with this, it can continue; or not.

So, what I want to tell all of you is that all of these (reincarnation, your personal lifetimes, all of these) are just conceptual notions that we have used to try and make sense of this unexplainable. But you will come to the Seeing that ‘This That Is’ is completely free; free beyond any concept of freedom, so all things are possible in it. So, whether It wants to play this way [straight line] or whether it wants to play round and round; whether it wants to experience lifetimes in the future, or lifetimes in the past; time, space, all of this is independent.

Q:So, the recognition for recognition is not there right now, let’s say.

A:Why say? [Laughs]

Q:Then you’re not living totally in the Truth, let’s say. Then it will ….

A:The Truth actually cannot be ‘lived’.

Q:Truth is living you.

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A:Yes, yes, that is one way to put it, but actually we cannot live as the Truth. When we try to live as Awareness, or live as the Self, then it creates another contradiction within us. This worldly of play appearances is moving; this body is moving, this life is moving; it’s constantly changing. But when we try to fix that we say ‘This should become the unmoving’ or something. That creates an inherent battle or contradiction in us and the seeker gets more and more activated that ‘I’m not living it yet.’

That’s why it’s better what [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said: ‘Let your worldly life take care of itself.’ Let it move the way it is moving. So, then that can continue to move without this idea that ‘Is Soumya constantly…, is her attention always in Awareness? Is she always coming from the Self?’

You don’t have to bother with this because the Light of Consciousness is running this world perfectly, which includes this body. Because even in this notion that ‘I am not living it yet’ you are identifying yourself as this one [Points to her form] no? …, as this boundary. You’re not identifying as All and even beyond this All.

So, best to drop this notion. Best to drop the idea that somebody can live it fully. Best to drop that idea that somebody can live it fully because it is only another concept which can keep us down in a way. So, leave that.

Q: Isn’t that …

A:No, it isn’t. Isn’t that the idea? It is not. That is not the purpose of this [Satsang]. The purpose is to rid ourselves of all these limited notions about ourself. Once you see that you are the screen and the light of the projector, is there some trouble with what scene the movie might contain?

Q: The Seeing is not continuous, so…

A:The Seeing is always continuous; the interpretation is changing. You can never not See this. If it was a coming and going, then according to the Sages, all that is coming and going is not true. Then even this Truth would not be true. If Awareness was also coming and going…

Q: Huh.

A: Awareness is not coming and going, but I am.

Q:Awareness is not coming and going, but the identification with Awareness and with the body is happening…

A:…is changing; yes, And even in that coming and going of identification, what happened to the

Truth? What happened to Awareness?

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Q: Nothing.

A:Nothing has happened to Awareness. So, are You That?

Q:Yes.

A:Therefore, nothing has happened to You. Now the nature of identification itself is that way, that we consider ourself to be something other than That. That’s why it can feel like, or we can think, that we are not in That constantly. But actually, we are That only.

And one way to identify is to say that ‘I am not there fully yet.’ That is another way to identify itself.

Q: Yes.

A:So, then you might say ‘If this is true, that the Truth remains untouched, then what is the point of all of this anyway? What is the point of Satsang or ridding ourselves of the identification?’ There is actually no point, but we can (if we were to say that there is a point) we could say that Consciousness got tired of Its suffering-based experience of the world and now It is ridding Itself of Its suffering-based experience and coming to a more natural existence by ridding Itself of Its limited ideas about Itself. So, whatever that idea might be, in true Satsang, that idea will not survive.

So, as you continue to come, you find that over the years your idea about yourself has also changed (that now you’ve come to a different, different, different quality level). And even this will pass; even these notions will pass.

Q:So, the moment doubt arises about anything, we are in the mental realm.

A:Yes. Just not when it arises, but when we buy into it.

Q:Okay. When we buy into it, we’re in the mental realm. So, that is how I see moving from Awareness to the mind space.

A:As long as you’re not confusing the ‘I’ then this could not cause trouble. When you say ‘We are in the mental realm’ are you speaking of Consciousness?

Q:The feeling is…, whatever is making me buy that…, there is no doubt space…, doubt is not arising at all, you just know space. And then there is this space where…, the regular space [Laughs]…

A: So, That which witnesses both, That remains untouched by it. That is clear, isn’t it?

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Q: Yes.

A:Now, when we pick up the notion that ‘I am not That’ then the changing of these spaces (as you call them) can make a difference.

Q:This view is only when I’m in the mind space. If that is not there, and there are no thoughts; those ideas are also not there.

A:In this report, who is the ‘I’?

Q:[Laughs]

A:That is why I am trying to highlight this point that all this confusion is only confusion about

‘I’.

Q:But naturally it should be felt, Father. It can’t be convinced. It can’t be convinced from the mind space. Right now, the operation…

A:What you are saying is that ‘The mind is convincing me.’ [Laughs] And it is saying ‘The mind is convincing me that it should be felt naturally, not convinced.’ [Laughs] So, you are willing to be convinced by that, but unwilling to be convinced by me. [Laughter in the room]

No notion can help us here. Even this notion. It can sound very true actually. It can sound very true. That’s what I call ‘Very well-dressed thoughts’. They come with their full suit, three-piece suit, well dressed; this one. ‘It must be felt naturally, it must not have to be convinced.’ But that itself is trying to convince you, you see?

Q: Yes.

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When Your Gear Is in Neutral You Have No Trouble

When your gear is on neutral, you have no trouble. Just keep your gear on neutral. You can get this internationally also? The same thing applies? Gears are neutral? Even the automatics have neutral gears? [Someone from Satsang laughs and replies ‘Yes’] So, remain in neutral. Neutral means ‘position-less, notion-less’ as I’ve been saying in the last few days. And I’ve been saying also that in this neutrality, what happened? Did your sight stop? Did your hearing stop? Did your tastes stop functioning? Nothing stopped functioning. Heart is still beating. Body sensations are still there. The world is still around. All that needs to happen is still happening. So, getting into a gear is the false sense of control. It’s like you’re pretending to play play-station or something. But your joystick is not connected at all. And yet, you are feeling that you are controlling the thing. [Laughs]

Once it happened like this; my son plays this Football game called ‘Fifa’. He plays it very well. And once I had the other controller and we were like ‘Okay, we’re playing’. And it was going well. I was looking at the screen and I was like ‘How come I am playing well today?’ [Gestures playing with enthusiasm] After a while, he realized ‘Pa, it can’t be you.’ And we realized it was playing via just the computer and my controller was actually not connected. But all this while I was feeling like I am playing. You see? So, it could have happened that day that it was going well, so it was coming that ‘Oh, I am playing well.’ [Laughs] But suppose the computer was playing badly. It would feel like ‘No, I’m playing terrible’. Both options are possible. But the ‘I’ who was controlling it was not there in reality.

This gear, this joystick, is not connected to anything at all. Our idea of personally doing something has no impact on our phenomenal existence. What is happening is happening. It is just that we’re dropping just this false sense of control, which we’ve never had.

And you know that I like to report from direct experience. So, from direct experience Right Now, I’m telling you that there is no Ananta sitting here speaking these words. There is no objective entity who is the creator of these words. These words are just appearing in the Light of Presence. We can’t even say ‘My Presence’ because it is One Presence.

That’s why the other day I was saying that the perceiving of them is the speaking of them. There is no two. It is one appearance. The speaking is happening. But I remember there was a time that there was a sense here that the words that were coming here were being spoken by some ‘me’, some entity. But this is just not true. The non-existent one cannot move a finger. The mind might come and say ‘Yes, yes, but I can; I’ll show you.’ But whether it happens or not happens is up to the will of Consciousness alone. The mind does not know how to do any of this.

Just like the words of many in the world, those who are not in Satsang, also feel like they are creating their thoughts; individually. So, they are trying to think positive; which is useful at some level but now you’re seeing that even this concept that ‘I’m trying to think a certain way’ is not

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really help). Thoughts are just coming and going. Just like these words are being heard, in a different qualitative way you are perceiving your thoughts. Both are just appearances in Your Consciousness, in Your Being. When You are, then all of this Is. When you are not, then no appearance is. Even to presume that it is…, like you might have an idea that the world disappears when I’m asleep, but this can only happen when you are awake. Even that presumption cannot happen in your sleep. What exists independent from your Existence? That must be there. If there is something like that, it must be there when you are not. But you are finding that ‘If my attention is not on something then I cannot truly say that it exists. I can only presume.’ So, we’re getting out of this ‘presume’ business. We’re not presuming anything. Because we’ve presumed an ‘I’ [Laughs] and this presumed ‘I’ is never You. So, when Guruji [Mooji] says ‘Who are you without your story?’ that means the same thing: ‘Who are you without these presumptions about yourself?’

In neutrality, no presumption. In presumption, it’s always pretense. In neutrality, reality is apparent. It is only a notion that there is something missing. How can something be missing for the One without a boundary? The idea that ‘I stop at the body’ is a presumption; it is not natural. We have presumed that we live in this three-dimensional or four-dimensional existence. But I am taking you out from there. That which we call ‘going within’ (when we say ‘I’m going within. I’m checking on the source. I’m staying with ‘I am’) in which dimension is that? Is there a ‘I am’ sitting within the body? If you call a doctor and he says ‘Okay, I’m going to open the heart with a surgeon scalpel’ or something, will we find one ‘I am’ sitting there? ‘Here it is’? It is not in this dimension.

What are the dimensions we feel we exist in? The three dimensions of space. What is it? x, y, and z; three dimensions. What does it mean? Front-behind, left-right, and up-down. These are the three dimensions in which we feel. And the fourth dimension is the presumption that we are living inside a ‘time’. So, the movement happens in time; it can feel like. But when you go to ‘I am’…, is it in front or behind? Is it left, right, up, or down? Where is it contained? Your very Existence, where is it? You have left this Universe. It’s not a big deal. [Chuckles] Too crazy? [Laughs harder] It can seem like that, because we have considered ourselves to be an object for so long that it can feel like ‘No, I can move only in this way’. But really, this inquiry ‘Who am I?’ introduces you to that greater aspect of YourSelf which is not included in any dimension. Tell me where It is? Where are You? Where is your existence? In which direction should I come to meet Your Existence? Should I come in front, behind, up, down, left, right? We cannot find it that way.

Just this simple Seeing will show you that you are not an object because all objects are within these four dimensions. Three dimensions of space and fourth dimension of duration or time. Isn’t this so plainly obvious? Can you just check? My existence is not contained here in space or time. And this will become more and more natural to you. And the idea of being an object will start to sound funny.

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I know, for many of you, what I am saying might sound a bit out there right now. But you will come to this point where Nisargadatta Maharaj was able to say that ‘This apparent Universe is nothing but a firefly dancing in front of me.’ So, be this cow that jumped over the moon. The moon is your objective worldly appearance. We’re going beyond that. Where are you witnessing this world from? And even if it feels like ‘I’m witnessing it from behind my eyes’ …, find out who is behind these eyes. Who are you?

[Silence]

You will see all of this in your neutrality when your belief is not so caught up with ‘What’s in it for me?’ …, when your attention is not fully invested in the mind. Then you’re starting to recognize Your own beautiful Being. This is Atma. This is God. This is Consciousness.

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Letting Go is Your Gateway to Divinity

Can you stop being? Just because the question is simple doesn’t mean that the insight is not tremendous. You don’t have to find that which is so obviously here. You can’t even stop it. Just stop being. Don’t be for a second. Don’t exist. Go away from yourself. Separate yourself from your existence. Don’t be. Who can do this?

[Silence]

This is clear to all of you. Now, the only misunderstanding is that this Being is personal; this Being is not that Being. You see? This is the idea from the mind that ‘I can’t stop Being. What is big deal in that?’ It is the biggest deal. Your Being is the biggest deal ever. Everything else is small in relation to it. But you have thought that you are a small being. ‘I am just a ‘me’…, ‘little old me’. [Chuckles]

This is the mask of the mind; that That universal Being is considered to be ‘little old me’. Don’t buy this story. You Are. You Are! I Am. This Being is running all these lives, all these appearances. It never has been any other way. And this Being has played with the mask of individuality now for long enough. You are reminding this to YourSelf. Long enough have you played with this tiny mask. Now we can throw it away.

Hand over everything to this Being, in this pretend play. Hand over everything that has always belonged to it, back to it. Let your mouth be just an instrument for Being. Let your hands be an instrument for Being. May all your senses serve Being. Let all your relationships become the relationships of Being with Being. Allow Being to take care of this body, shelter, food and clothing. Give up any sense of control. The idea that you are the doer, or the non-doer; both you give up. The idea that you are the experiencer or you are not the experiencer; both you give up. The idea that you have surrendered or not surrendered yet; both you give up. The idea that you are free or bound; both you give up. Remain in neutral. The idea that you are the Self or not the Self; both you give up. The ideas about life or death; both you give up. Attached or unattached, me or other…, all this play of opposites; give up both sides. You are not contained in any of these. No concept is Your Truth. The idea of being in Satsang or outside satsang, of finding peace or not finding peace; give up all these notions.

Letting go is your gateway to Divinity. [Silence]

Give yourself the biggest gift of your own Self-recognition. Enough with the conceptual denial of what is so apparent to all of you. Enough dancing with ideas. Enough even spiritual fantasy. See the glory of Your own Existence.

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‘My Way’ or the High(er)way?

When your gear is on neutral, you have no trouble. Just to take the car metaphor a little more further, it can feel like for a bit that you are taking your hands off the steering wheel. It can seem like the life is still moving, so it can feel like the car is moving. It can feel like [Gestures the fear of needing to hold on to something] ‘At least, if I can hold on to some idea. Can I please have the idea that I am the Self?’ [Laughs] And, okay, for some of you who are new, I can be okay with that; that you hold on to this side railing or something. [Gestures holding on to a side support] But the Self does not need the idea ‘I am the Self’. Anything that needs an idea is not the final Truth.

Now, there are some concepts which help to burn other concepts. So those, for a while, I’ll let you hold on to…, but not for long. [Smiles]. The ride is a lot more fun. (Okay, now you’re not trying this on the road, alright?) [Jokes and laughs] ‘I heard in Satsang that I’m supposed to drive without holding on.’ It’s a metaphor, okay? [Laughs]

We’re not going to hold on to the steering wheel or the pretense-steering wheel of any concepts. Let go of all your clutches and See. Nothing will happen to you. You’re completely safe.

But if you have some idea about what safety means [Smiles] then that will also be squeezed out of you. [Silence]

So, no gear, no steering wheel! Life is moving.

[Silence]

It’s worth a try. In any case, we’ve not done such a super-fantastic job holding on to the wheel and the gear. [Laughs] Now, try it this way. You’ve tried it your way for a long time. Now try the High-way. [Laughs] What is it that they say? “My way or the highway!” And it always sounds like the highway is the worse option. But actually, it is ‘Try the high(er)-way now’. That’s the Guru’s way.

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Who Is Coming to the Recognition of the Self?

This ‘I’ (because it can point to various things) for most of us has represented the body/mind. So much so that even when you are recognizing that You are not that, there can be an idea that ‘I as the body/mind am coming to this recognition. I personally am coming to some insight.’ This can be the notion. But it is not that. It is Consciousness Itself, which has played with delusion and now its playing with recognition.

So, many times it can happen that when we are experiencing suffering and we want to answer this question ‘But why am I suffering?’ then we try to use even the concepts of Satsang to get over our suffering; to answer the ‘Why am I suffering? If I have seen this, then why do I continue to suffer?’ But who does the I represent, even in this? Who is recognizing? Ask yourself this question.

Who is recognizing the truth of who You are?

Does it have anything to do with the identity?

Is the identity coming to the recognition of the Self?

Or is the recognition itself not that; there is no identity?

Therefore, the notion that ‘If I have seen the truth, then why am I suffering?’ itself is false. Because That which is Seeing the truth, That which is recognizing Itself, is not suffering.

So, in one statement we have mixed up two ‘I’s…, the Self-recognizing ‘I’ and the sufferer ‘I’ and we are trying to resolve this contradiction. Therefore, when I say ‘Who is in this for Truth sake alone?’ it is not some sort of a prediction, that suffering will continue to come or joy will not be there. It is to break away this concept that Advaita pointings should personally be beneficial. Because these can be the last vestiges of the personal ‘I’. Even the insight of freedom, the insight of Truth, the limited sense of ‘I’ (this mind) can try and use to resurrect itself; and herein lies the contradiction. Because in your truest Seeing that there is not personal ‘I’ there is also no suffering. And yet, that cannot become an expectation because then the expectation itself seems to then become ‘the finger that blocks the sun’. So, the simplest is not to hold onto any notion at all…, especially any notions about ‘Why?’

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This Is the Truest Power of Now

This is the Truest Power of Now. What is the truest power of Now? Is that in this Now, you are empty of all your conditions. All the projects that you could have picked up to try and come to the truth is already done for you. I don’t know how to convey this, actually. I’m trying to give it to you as the best news possible!

Okay, let’s say that you attended this course in college and the entire two or three years of college, you didn’t study anything at all. Then, the last day before the exam, you’re trying to study but you realize that it’s just too much. Then you say ‘No point. It’s all in God’s hands anyway.’ So, you show up to the examination hall and you get the answer sheet and you see that it’s already filled out completely, with all the right answers. Wouldn’t that be the best news ever?

So, this is the power of this Now…, that all that you thought you would have to do to find this freedom is done for you already! And anything you add to this answer-paper will only deduct your marks. [Everyone laughs] If you feel like you want to add one ‘But…’ over there, or ‘And…, If…’ [Laughs] ‘But, only if …’ If you want to add something over there, then you’re just losing marks on that. (Not too literally; that’s just a metaphor.) That is what is happening. Everything is done and it is complete. You’re getting full marks; passing with flying colors.

But the mind wants to insert its stories. [Gestures putting there something with pride] ‘I also studied …, I was also sure. God has done everything for me but I want to show that I have also contributed to my freedom.’ So, many times in Satsang, this is what is happening. No ‘but’…, no ‘and’ …, no ‘if…’

Now, the mind will come and say ‘Are you sure this is the right answer?’ Because you’ve not studied, you see, so you can’t even make out whether the answers are right or wrong. [Everyone laughs] Isn’t it? It sounds funny, but this is exactly the doubts that come. Then somebody comes, you know, dressed like a Guru, saying ‘Yes, this is it!’ [You say] ‘But are you sure this is it? Are you a true Guru?’ This is the nature of doubt.

So, one day you will see that anything that you mix with the mind will quickly come to zero. Zero not in a good way; like zero marks.

The other trouble is that some of you have studied too much, so you’re unwilling to accept that all that has to be done is just here naturally. Then you want to write ‘No, no. I will write a better answer.’ [Laughs] So, it is still not that.

That which is naturally available is Your own Presence, Your own Being. And it is so apparent to You that you are aware of it. Not a step you have to take; not a letter you have to write. So, when I say don’t be so much attached to ‘my way’ it is the same as saying don’t be so attached to your concepts, your answers.

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To many of you actually, I’ve been saying also that you’re trying to figure it out but it cannot be figured out. Because you cannot solve this empirically using the insight you have through your senses. It cannot bring you your Absolute Self. We cannot resolve this as a rationalist. You cannot reason your way to the Truth. You can reason your way away from the false to a great extent, and in that way, reason is helpful. But to drop this identity of the one that is looking (or the one that is reasoning also) is beyond intellect.

If coming to freedom was a task for any of us to do, nobody could do it. You see? If coming to freedom was like a scientific discovery, then nobody would find it. Therefore, it is called a ‘recognition’ of What Is.

The answer is already here. [Silence] You cannot even say it is ♪♫ blowing in the wind. ♪♫ [Laughs] The wind is blowing in the answer. (Did nobody get my Bob Dylan reference? Maybe I’m getting too old.) [Laughs].

Truth is neither too difficult, neither is it too simple; it just IS. So, in this exam, the blank answer sheet is the best answer. So, what are you going to fill in? Because the question is: ‘I am

________.’ What are you going to fill into this blank? The mind will always have an answer for you to fill in something; some version of something. It might also be saying ‘Self. Self. Self.’

Someone says: ‘Nothing.’

A:‘Nothing. Nothing.’ But neither of those answers are actually right ultimately, because even behind these can lie a concept.

The Self that You Are is completely apparent when you’re not filling the blank with something, or ‘the Self’. That you are ‘no-thing’ is completely apparent when you’re not filling in the blank with even ‘Nothing’.

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I Am That ‘No-Thing’ Which Contains All Things

Q:Beloved Father, sometimes you take us on a ride of emptiness when even I do not exist. How is that related to what you say now?

A:I say that when you are empty of all notions, the Truth of ‘I’ is apparent. Let’s take an example. I shared this the other day also with a friend. [Holds up a glass half full of water] Now, this glass has a potential to contain something. So, this one contains, to some level, this water.

And the rest of it is empty. Isn’t it? The rest of it is empty. But does that make it nothing? No. It doesn’t make it nothing because in nothing you don’t have the potential to hold something. So, although it is filled with no-thing, it is still possible to fill something in it; therefore, it is not that

‘nothing’. If it was nothing, it could not hold anything. Nothing cannot hold anything. You see?

So, as you’re empty of all your notions, you See that You are no-thing. No-thing exists in this but this no-thing still has the potential for the entire play of Being and all the appearances that come with it. (Who can understand this, what I’m saying?) If it was nothing, could it ever hold something? Is the rest of this glass nothing?

Q: Why do you say there is ‘no-thing’? There is no ‘you’ or ‘I’ in this. It is just this.

A:Yes. So, either this is something which is being recognized by you, or you’re just making it up. And if it is being recognized by You, this is the You that I’m talking about; which is no- thing.

You are right that there is no separation of ‘you’ and ‘I’ there. That’s why I said ‘This ‘I’ is a chameleon; it is used to describe many things.

Q:Yes, so I am that no-thing; that no-thing which contains all things. So, the important point: It is like saying you are not ‘void’ but are fullness.

A:Yes, it is that way, but many call this ability/potential to have fullness within itself…, they call it ‘the void’. I’ve seen many times in Buddhism, what they’re saying is exactly what we are saying in Vedanta but their terminology is different. So, some actually say ‘void’ implying ‘nothing’. But some actually say ‘void’ implying ‘no-thing’ also. So, it’s a question of terminology. Let’s not get too worried about that. As long as it is clear that this ‘no-thing’ that I’m pointing to is not the ‘nothing’.

And also, remember that it is not spatial. I’ve just used a spatial metaphor to explain it to you. So, it’s not like an empty glass or an empty room. It is just showing that in that ‘no-thing’ …, all things arise, including your very Existence. And all of this is apparent to you completely when you’re not believing something false about YourSelf.

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Right Now, You Are that ‘No-thing’. It is not a mystery. All the clues are pointing to this. The Sages have asked ‘What witnesses all that is changing, all that is moving?’ [Silence] ‘What is aware of your Existence?’ If it was that ‘nothing’ then how would you be aware? You see? It’s nothing! That’s why I prefer to use ‘no-thing’ because it is not a thing.

Now, you cannot fathom this. We cannot solve it mentally. You cannot compute what I’m saying. This kind of saying can happen in your recognition when you have it; and even then you will struggle to find the words to express this. Because the words are not meant to express the non-phenomenal. They’ve been created as phenomenal constructs to describe our phenomenal experience.

If you say that this ‘no-thing’ is not Self-aware, then you are still visualizing it; because even to say this needs awareness. So, if you See that you are ‘no-thing’ …, who is aware that it’s not Self-aware?

That’s why I tell you: Don’t try to compute it. Don’t try to figure it out. Don’t try to visualize it. And don’t be so much in a rush to come up with an answer. Because you come to these kinds of false conclusions.

What you’re saying is ‘I’m not even aware that it is Self-aware.’ [Smiles broadly] That’s why Papaji said ‘Better to keep quiet.’ Because that Knowingness that I’m speaking about is beyond all concepts of knowing. You only are speaking of perceptual knowing, conceptual knowing, emotional knowing, sensational knowing.

What is That which Knows all of this?

Where is this Knowing?

All of this Knowing, where does it get the power to Know?

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This Concept-less Reality Is Your Self

The question comes: ‘What is your true position?’ [Chuckles] Neither something nor nothing You can be. No position, no reference point. No start, no end. No up, no down. No birth or death. That in which all things are possible; and yet nothing can hurt You, nothing can scratch You. That concept-less Reality is your Self…, where all notions come to play, but no notion is You.

There is no body; just a set of sensations. There is no mind; just a set of sensations. We have just used notions to define a collective of sensations. You see what I am saying? Like when you say ‘body’…, what does it contain? What does the term ‘body’ contain; from your experience? Only these sensations which you are experiencing now; whether they are visual sensations or they are perceived in a different way sensationally. What about mind? Another set of sensations. A set of sensations which are these energy constructs that we call thoughts and similar ones like imaginations, memory. But do they have any real existence? Is there something called ‘the mind’ really? It’s nothing. Is there something called body really? It’s nothing. It is just labels for perceptions, labels for appearances. What is beyond these appearances, beyond these labels?

That is why the Sages have said ‘Look for that which is not coming and going.’ Because we got so caught up in these labels, these notions of body and mind which create the false notion of ‘me’. Where is the me, who is the me? Even more abstract than the notion in the body and the mind is the notion of ‘me’…, some vague entity which seems to be the owner of this body and this mind. But only this body. [‘my’ body] It’s just an idea…, and not even a clear idea. It’s a terrible idea, in a way. [Chuckles]

So, whom does ‘I’ represent?

How long will this ‘I’ represent just this bad idea of ‘me’?

Is there anything which is real about you?

And if there is something which is real about you, allow ‘I’ to represent that. Is there anything which is timeless about You?

Allow ‘I’ to represent that.

Is there anything which witnesses all things and yet itself is not a thing?

Allow ‘I’ to represent that.

That is the only worthy representation.

The changing feelings and sensations and pain and pleasure and desire and doing…, all of this is in the realm of changing. Get used to remaining notion-less. I know for a while it can feel wobbly. But many of you are getting used to it.

An example is coming. I rarely drive a car. Very, very rarely have I driven a car. But still, when I am sitting in front, in the front seat in the passenger’s seat, many times it happens that when there is something coming in front of us, my leg automatically wants to step on the brake. I don’t

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know if any of you have experienced this. So, we have been like this passenger in the front seat actually, pretending as if we are driving. ‘Which way should I go, left or right? What is the right way?’ Pretending to steer, pretending to brake, pretending to accelerate. Now, for a while, when we step back, when we remain notion-less, we step back (no acceleration, no brake applied) it can feel a bit shaky. When events are coming up in life, you can feel like ‘I must pick up my driving again.’ But allow yourself to wobble a bit; experience that shakiness a little bit. Then you start to enjoy the ride so much. ‘Wow, I am in Disneyland. I don’t have to do anything at all.’ [Chuckles]

Did you keep thinking ‘Okay, now I have learned this in Satsang today. So, how does it help me drive better? How can I steer? Can I lead my life in a better direction because now I know something?’ You see, then again, we are back on the driving.

Allow yourself to be empty. No where to go, no direction, no speeding up, no slowing down. Your gear is in neutral anyway since yesterday, isn’t it? We’ll remain in neutral.

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What Remains Untouched When Waking State Comes?

Those who were here yesterday will understand, your ‘examination’ has started. We found that the exam sheets which we got, already have all the answers; everything is done.

Now, what is your move? [Silence]

You want to add something or to cancel something?

You want to show how much you have learned?

You have got this wonderful surprise the minute you entered, and if you don’t see it yet, see it now; everything that had to be completed is complete.

Are you going to add some ‘and…, if…, but?’

[Chuckles] But to do that you have to specify: What is missing right now?

What will you speak, except about the appearance of something?

What’s on the other side of appearance?

What witnesses this appearance?

Who is aware of them?

Where is your doubt here?

Dance is happening here [Shaking hand gesture start] in the world. This dance is happening for many of you. I’ve been getting your messages. ‘Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes; events, events, emotions, emotions, thoughts, thoughts, [Chuckles] pain, pain…, all this is happening.’

But does this dance contain You…, the entirety of You?

Are You in this ‘moving, moving, moving’? Because if you are in that, then you are also coming and going. Then you don’t need to worry anyway, because you will be gone soon. Because if you were just an appearance, why try to fix something? But if You are not contained in any appearance in the dance, You are That which witnesses all of it, that is aware of it, and yet remains completely untouched, no matter what the content of the dance may be.

Now, which is Your Truth?

What contains You?

What defines You?

Now, you might feel like you are an object contained within this body. (Okay, let me go really slowly.) Body is an object? Yes.

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So, all that which an object can contain, is only an object? Can an object contain a non-object? [Chuckles] It can have the space to have other objects. So, it is that space? Or other objects. So, if you are something contained in this body, then you must be an object.

Now this object has never been found by anybody. You cut open the head you will not find the object called ‘me’…, you cut open any part of the body, you will not find this object.

As you See that, (and all of you know in your Heart actually that You are not an object) …, the mind might be fighting right now, trying to find a hundred reasons to convince you that ‘Actually you are an object, you might be the brain or something.’ [Chuckles] It will try to convince you of these kinds of answers. But your Heart is telling you: ‘Before this body, I was; after this body, I will be.’ Even this very popular notion that ‘I will rest in peace after this body is gone.’ Even such a popular notion; this means so much of humanity actually in their heart believes that they are not bound by this body.

And as you are starting to see that this body is nothing but a set of perceptions, a set of experiences, a set of sensations, then what is the mind trying to do? It is trying to figure out some oneness with rest of the world (meaning ‘Okay, I can’t be the body but I can’t yet see that I am one with the world or something.’) But that is the next container that mind is giving you; that you are an object contained in this world or you are the world object itself. But that is also nothing but a set of sensations, a set of perceptions.

So, you don’t have to find oneness this way, like ‘Oh, how am I one with this computer? How am I one with another body?’ You don’t have to. I know when I’m saying this, it sounds funny but many of you are trying to do this. [Laughs] I am saying it in Satsang and it sounds like ‘Who would do that?’ [Laughter]

So, if you have broken one objective boundary, or you see that you have never been contained in this objective boundary, now you are trying to broaden that objective boundary; but it’s only consisting of more perceptions.

But what is that which is beyond perception?

What is that which does not come and go?

All perceptions, they come and go; all appearances they come and go.

What is that which witnesses the coming and going?

Who is that which can say that ‘they’ come and go?

Is that itself an appearance?

Then you are starting to See that You are not even this world. Just like you Saw that You are not just this body, You are starting to See that You are not just this world, You are not just this universe. All of this is, still just the dance of perceptions.

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And many bodies you are identifying with, many worlds which you call your own world. When you are in this realm you say ‘This is my life, my world’ and when you are in a dream you say that is your life, my world. When you are day-dreaming you feel like that is your life, your world. Consciousness is projecting various realms for you to inhabit. Find that one which is beyond all of these states.

What does not go to sleep in your sleep state?

What remains untouched when the waking state comes?

What remains untouched, no matter what the sensation might be?

The strongest sensation might be there, the strongest pain might be here:

Is the entirety of You in pain?

What can you say about That which witnesses this pain?

The biggest grief might be there: Is the entirety of You in grief?

You see? So, we are not to get into any sort of denial of the world. We can look at the appearance as an appearance. But if you are to use that definition of reality which says that ‘Reality is That which is unchanging’ does that deserve a bit of our attention? Or no? Our entire life is going on in the play of appearances, and there will be enough in this drama to go on with various things; something or the other. If you are happy to spend this entire existence just playing with this set of appearances, that’s fine, too. But I am speaking to those who are willing to look beyond.

What is beyond this play of coming and going?

And if it is beyond this play of coming and going, it must be Here Now. It can never go.

For the true Knowledge of this (Knowledge with a capital ‘K’) all that is needed is the dropping of the false. You don’t have to come to Reality, actually…, because that would be contradictory again. You can’t come to That which is not coming and going; it must already be Here. But just for a moment, can you be empty of this conceptual layer of dust, of your favorite ideas about yourself, of all that you have learned, including all the satsangs you have attended? Nothing; you have heard nothing, you have understood nothing…, not one step you have walked. You have always just been Here.

Who are you now?

And if your answer is just an inference, you better admit that you do not know. To hold onto a second-hand answer (even if you have heard it in satsang) will not get you there; is not integrity. No inference, no judgment, nothing learned, completely naked of any concept: Who are you Now?

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How Can I Admit to Myself That I Don´t Know?

‘I don’t know’ is not a bad answer.

Some of us have (biological) children. These children, they’ll ask a lot of questions. Now, it’s not that the questions are tiring, actually, because many parents complain that these questions are tiring. ‘My child, he asks too many questions.’ Yes. But the questions are not tiring. It is because they ask you a question which will make you feel stupid very fast. [Chuckles] Because, ultimately when you are talking to a child, within five or six questions they will come to things like ‘Why is the sky blue?’ And you don’t want to feel stupid that ‘I have lived on this planet for forty years and more’ and you still don’t know why the sky is blue. Then you say ‘Keep quiet; you’ll understand when it’s your time.’ [Chuckles]

Because this fear about [not-knowing] …, in India and some Middle Eastern countries also it is like this, nobody tells you, if you ask them for directions; nobody says they don’t know. Okay, everybody will say ‘Just go [Gestures like giving directions] a little bit forward there you’ll find it.’ [You say] ‘Where? There? On the left, or right?’ [They say] ‘No, no, you go there; then you’ll ask somebody. [You say] ‘So, do you know?’ [Gestures as if taken aback] ‘Yes! Of course, I know! What do you mean? Yes, of course I know.’ [Laughs]

So, this is what is happening after many Satsangs for many of you. It can feel like ‘But I’ve heard I’m Awareness, I’ve heard I’m Consciousness, I heard I’m the unborn. So, how can I admit to myself that I don’t know, actually?’ Because this ‘I don’t know’ sounds like bad news or something. But, actually this is the best news!

If you come to this neutrality, this emptiness of ‘I don’t know’ that means that you have dropped all concepts of who you are. And as you are empty of any concept of who you are, in a moment you might see that this truth has been so apparent. And that is why one of my themes over the last few weeks has been: Don’t try to solve it like an equation. Because many are trying to solve it as a mathematical inference or something. ‘Oh, I found this is this, therefore, this equals this, therefore, I must be that.’ You see? It cannot be a ‘must be’ like that. That is a very sort of mental form of calculating. Many of you are trying to see some emptiness or something like that. But this is still mental visualization. You are trying to find the space, because sometimes in Satsang we use terms like ‘space of Being’ or the ‘space of Awareness’ the mind latches onto that and tries to give you this [Gestures wide] big empty space. And you start to believe ‘Oh, that is Awareness.’ It is not that. What is aware of even that perceiving? Then you will See that It is neither an object nor space. [Silence]

Ashtavakra said ‘Neither the earth, water, fire, air; not even the space you are.’ Beyond any imagination; beyond any visual concept, beyond any mental concept.

What is your experience Right Now?

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What is your direct insight Right Now?

And hear this when I am telling you that there is nothing missing. Nothing is missing. Because missing means coming and going. If something was missing that would mean the Truth is coming and going. It is just that you are interpreting it wrongly, we can say. Right now, all appearances are appearing.

Are you not aware of them?

Does this Awareness change?

Stay with your insight.

Don’t go to any judgement; no inference.

Does this awareness change?

All appearances are changing.

But, what about That which is aware of them?

You will find that it is unchanging.

And if the mind is giving you some doubt about this, try to change it: Don’t be aware. For one fraction of a moment, don’t be aware.

Who can do it? Even if you say I went to sleep, even to have this experience called sleep, what you are actually saying is ‘I am aware of the experience of sleep.’ If you say ‘All my senses stopped; I meditated so deeply that all sensory perception went away, the world vanished, body vanished, emotions vanished, thoughts vanished’ …, yet I must be there to be aware of it.

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We’re Looking for Some Rest from this Changing World

Those who come to Satsang usually are looking for some rest. [Chuckles] Why? What happened? Because we have tied ourselves to ‘a crazy donkey’. What is this ‘crazy donkey’ that we have tied ourselves to? It is this changing world.

The minute we call something ‘mine’ in this world, it is an invitation to get tired, it is an invitation to suffer. Why? Because…, is there anything stable in this world? Does anything remain the same, always? All appearances are constantly changing. The funny thing is that because this mind is also constantly changing, even if the outward appearance is seeming to be stable, the mind wants it to start changing. [Chuckles]

Doesn’t it happen in relationships? We feel like ‘Ahhh, this is my perfect partner.’ Why? Because we are so different; opposites attract, for example. [Chuckles] And then, after a while, it’s ‘No, I wish she would change this about herself, I wish she would speak like that, I wish she would like the temperature in the room to be this temperature.’ It can be anything. So, that which was initially attractive also starts to become unattractive because our mind changes. Even if this world’s appearance was constant, our mind’s opinion about it changes. [Chuckles]

So, that is the nature of this world. And then, as we have attached ourselves to these concepts of ‘mine’…, what is it basically? How do you look at this body in front and say ‘My Guru’? It is just a set of perceptions, isn’t it, in front of you? That’s why the Master is saying that ‘I am in your Heart; I am your own Being.’ Because what is the trouble with this ‘mine’? One: it is that which is always changing; not constant. That’s why we are always tired. And fundamentally, more fundamentally: it is dependent on the concept of ‘me’ …, which we have never found.

And without ‘me’ we cannot have ‘mine’. That’s why Sages have always talked about ‘me’ and ‘mine’. If we forget about ‘me’ then ‘mine’ is gone anyway.

That’s why one of my favorite stories (that you listen to often) is this story of the cat. So, there was once a cat who was born in this mirror-less world, so the cat couldn’t really see herself or himself. But the cat was told that ‘If you get the next bowl of milk, then you will be happy. Your only job is to get the next bowl of milk.’ What does that next bowl of milk mean? To get a good education, be a nice cat. [Chuckles] Then, get the best relationships, get the right money, get a healthy body. But the cat got tired, because none of this was remaining constant; all of this was constantly changing. And the feeling of happiness also that was derived from many of these things was not constant.

So, then the cat was told ‘Yes, what you need, because you are done with all of this, what you need is freedom! You need enlightenment! The never-ending bowl of milk, never-ending bowl of immortality, the nectar of immortality; that is freedom.’ You have been told this. Then you feel like ‘Yes, I am the wise cat who has seen through all of these trivial things, and now I want this final Master who will show the way.’ So, you lined up in Satsang, and the Master says ‘What do

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you want?’ And you say ‘I want that bowl of milk’ (whether you call it freedom, or whether you call it enlightenment or moksha, nirvana: whatever you might call it.) And the Master says ‘Who wants that? You must think that you are a cat, if you want that bowl of milk.’ And mostly the response is ‘Yes, of course I’m a cat! What do you mean?’ [Chuckles]

So, this is where, the conversation begins. Are you open to checking this in reality…, whether actually there is such a thing? Is there such a ‘me’? Is there such a cat? Is there such a person? The Master says ‘I will show you a mirror.’ Are you willing to look?

Many will run off here. [Chuckles]. ‘No, no, no, I didn’t come here for a mirror. I came here for that bowl of milk; I came here for enlightenment. This mirror business is too crazy for me.’ [Chuckles]

Those who stay, then are asked to look, and check:

Who are you, right now?

What are you representing?

What is real about you?

[Silence]

If everything in this world is coming and going (and therefore they are called appearances) then are you also an appearance?

Are you also something coming and going?

[Silence]

Is there something about you which is not coming and going, which has stayed the same? What is that?

So, if the definition of Reality was ‘that which does not change’ is there anything Real about you?

[Silence]

And for many, this is very uncomfortable; this looking for that which is Real is very uncomfortable because all that we have believed about ourselves is being shown to be changing. Nothing that we have believed about ourselves has been a constant. This body is changing, our emotions are changing, our thoughts are changing, our family is changing, our homes are changing, our Satsang hall is changing. [Refers to the new Satsang room] [Laughter] Nothing has remained constant. And because we have tried to make that which is changing into the constant, therefore, we are tired now. We want something that is Real. We want something that will last.

How about wanting Our Self?

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Want the Truth? Or the By-products of Truth?

Truth for Truth’s sake. Or are we looking for by-products of the truth; therefore, another way to fulfill our desire? Just yesterday or the day before, I found a beautiful quote of Saint Augustine who was also speaking the same thing: God for God’s sake. Because if it is another way to fulfill our desire, then the plate of desire is never full. It sees some cannelloni lying there that it likes. It says ‘May I have that cannelloni?’ It’s on the plate. And then it’s not looking at cannelloni and feeling happy anymore; maybe it’s only looking at ravioli. The next minute it sees tiramisu. ‘Can I have the tiramisu? No, I didn’t eat all of these.’ So, this is the plate of desire, which is never full; something or the other or the other.

There comes point in life where longing for the truth becomes so strong, that we are not so concerned about the by-products. The most of you, are not so concerned about by-products. But you are still using by-product as some start of a bench mark for how free you are. So, if some anger is coming, you’re saying ‘Oh, some anger is coming, and therefore I must not be though yet.’ If some lust comes ‘Oh, lust came, I can’t be though. How can lust come?’ Like, these kinds of concepts, then you feel like ‘Oh, I am still bound.’ But this is not true. Whatever might be coming, where it is coming? Where is it coming?

You feel like you are this three-dimensional object in this world or some silly idea like that. But I can show you that you are more than three-dimensions right now. When you go inside, where are you going? When you say ‘go inside’ …, where are you going? Up, down; where are you going? Where is that? It is I. And the truth of this is so clear so, so apparent. It is not that we close our eyes and then we don’t experience this three-dimensional space. You are already space.

You are not some object this world. This body; where is this body appearing? In that same space of Your Being, where the entire world is appearing. That is why Sage Ashtavakra can say that ‘You are that shore-less ocean in which the arcs of universe, they come and go.’ Do you feel that the Sage could be lying? Sage Ashtavakra who has been revered for thousands and thousands of years said ‘You’…, ‘You are the shore-less ocean in which arcs of universe come and go.’

The ego is just nothing but misunderstanding. That in which the arcs of the universe come and go, That is now considering Itself to be a tiny three-dimensional object. Therefore, you want other objects; to feel like you are becoming bigger. But no matter how much other material, phenomenal possessions you get, it is never enough. Because it can never compare with Your Reality. Have you wondered why this desire is always so bottomless; this continuous, bottomless pit? It is because you know in Your Heart that You are much bigger than all of this. But in this play as an individual, you’re trying to get more and more objects, more and more relationships, more and more things to fill yourself up. But does this mean that when you are no longer buy into this fallacy of being a person…, if the fallacy is dropped, does is mean that relationships have to be dropped? No. Does it mean that food has to be dropped? No. Does it is mean that anything has to change about this play? No. You see? It is just that your vantage point will

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change…, because your perspective about yourself will change. The rest may change or not change; it’s fine. What is important is that to See YourSelf clearly, what You Are.

[Silence]

If you had to pick between two options…, one is that one path which might be a bit wobbly, which might be a bit stage, but you will come to an authentic recognition of Your Reality. The other path is the life full of pleasure, full of the best relationship, the best enjoyment…, but nothing is stable; at the end death is coming, it’s all going to die. Which path would you pick?

You don’t have to answer. Just shine the answer in your own light.

On one path you might feel like all our belief system is being wiped clean, and for while its seems confusing. ‘I don’t know who I am anymore.’ Some fear can come.

On the other path, if there was such a path where you could just have the best things in life; what is that you would pick now?

This is the Nachiketa question, isn’t it? Nachiketa was asked this question in his conversation with the god of death. The god of death himself said ‘You are just a kid. Why you are getting into all this stuff? Why do you want to know how you are? I will give you nice palaces and nice relationships, nice food, nice everything.’ Nachiketa says ‘Will any of this survive you?’ The god of death said ‘No. All that is in time is subject to death.’ Then this small child [Nachiketa] said ‘No, I want to go beyond death and that which will not come and go. This is what I want.’

You see, this is what it means when I say: Truth for truth sake, irrespective of any by-product.

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Where is the Stability?

What happens also in Satsang is that many times it might feel like ‘I came to Satsang for stability.’ [Chuckles] ‘I came to Satsang for stability’ but you might feel like even the ground which is under you right now is being shaken away. ‘He is saying that I am not even an object in this world. What kind of crazy talk is this? I came here to make this body-mind happy and he is saying that you are not this body-mind.’ [Silence]

So, ultimately the choice is that which will die or that which is beyond death. And that which is beyond death, where must it be Now? Can That which is deathless also come and go? If we have to wait for it, that means that will also be born. Isn’t it? If we have to wait for the Self to come, that means the Self is also born. And all that is born, does die. There is nothing which is born and does not die. Therefore, that cannot be the Eternal Self. So, if we’re not just all fooling ourselves and kidding ourselves and on some kind of spiritual fantasy, then the Self must be Here, Now. Otherwise it is just not worth it. If the Self will also come one day, then there is no point to that; because that which comes, goes. The Self must be Here; it must be unchanging. Is there anything like that here?

The Sages have given us one more clue which is very helpful: ‘That which witnesses all things that change.’ There are many other clues but these are enough. What witnesses everything that changes? This hand is moving [Gestures moving his hand] there is the perception of that. Isn’t it? But this perception is a constant? Even this perception comes and goes. Sight also; there is sight and then there is no sight, then sight again. What is aware of even this perception? What witnesses even sight? What is aware of your hearing? [Silence]

First, we can look at what perceives this movement of the hand itself? Another clue from the sages is: ‘Rely on your own intuitive experience; not learned knowledge.’ Because the mind, I’m sure, would have many thoughts about it. ‘Oh, this is how sight is happening.’ So, what is it from your own experience: Who is the perceiver? What perceives all that changes? [Silence]

No knowledge learned, no concept that has been picked up is helpful here because even these concepts have been constantly changing. All you have to rely on is your own insight.

I know this can feel a bit uncomfortable for a bit. It can feel like ‘If can’t rely on all that I have learned in the past…’ it can seem a bit strange; it can seem a bit wobbly. But this inquiry, this looking together, is so beautiful. It’s so direct. And you can see in an instant that you are beyond death. [Silence]

Come to this Immortal Being. You don’t even have to come to it, actually. Drop your masks. You don’t have to take a step. Let your masks fall away. Now, to drop your masks, to let them fall away: What are You, Right Now?

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Then Words Will Come from Your Heart

Usually what is found is that as you are dipping into your own Self, usually words become very few. Someone comes and says ‘Who are you?’ Usually it takes some time before this (what you’re Seeing) can be put into articulation or words or conceptual descriptions.

You must enjoy this period of rest. Because you never know when it is that the Satguru will to start using this body as an instrument of sharing. Till then, enjoy your ineloquence, the lack of articulation.

For some of you, the ‘But…’ (the ‘But…’ monster) must be going crazy [Chuckles] saying ‘But…, but…, can this be it?! But it can’t be so simple. But how can I know this is true? But I don’t find anything.’ Tell this ‘But…’ machine to hit the road.

For some of you, it may not be so much doubt, like ‘but, but, but… ‘ For some of you it can be ‘Yeah, yeah! And…’ ‘Yeah, also; and…’ [Chuckles] trying to say that ‘I’ve really understood something’ but usually this ‘and’ consists of conceptual garbage; just ideas.

Both the doubt and the specialness are just forms of the mind resisting Your neutrality, resisting Your emptiness. The doubt and the proclamation are not needed here. You don’t need to proclaim this Truth to anyone. Because I already know what You are…., because I know what I

Am.

(And I’m not saying this because I want to encourage some sort of humility or something. This is not about some worldly humility. It’s just that I know the nature of the mind and it can grab you; either with these doubts or with these proclamations, conceptual proclamations, of the Truth.)

Then words will come from your mouth one day which will smell of your Heart. [Silence] And then I’m always happy to sit at your feet.

Till then, You have to do Yourself this favor of not exchanging the holiness of Your Presence, the Divinity of Your Being, with just a concept of yourself. It might be a very well-dressed concept but it is still not worthy of You. No concept can capture .00001% of your Divinity, which is already Here, Right Now.

If you build a mountain of concepts, can you build one physical atom with it? Can you build one ounce of love with it; one gram of devotion with a huge mountain of concepts? Not possible. Your existence is so beyond any conceptual understanding, You will come to the limits of your perception, and you will come to the limits of your reasoning and intellect…, and that will not be even a scratch on the surface of Your Consciousness.

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What is Real About You?

It is a big misunderstanding if some of you feel that ‘Oh, the Master is trying to destroy my ego and make nothing out of me.’

When we let go of the false, you will see that you are that No-thing which is the Source of all things. You are much beyond even all things. [Silence] This Zero is beyond infinity. [Silence] The Master is pointing you to the zero which is beyond the infinite.

[Silence]

At which point do you become the basket of appearances? The world is changing, so everything that is changing we are going to put in the basket of appearances. Appearance is what? That which comes and goes. The world is changing, coming and going, so it goes into the basket of appearances.

This body (part of the world, should have already gone but when you first considered it, the world and this body were as separate things) so this body, changing, [it goes into this] basket of appearances; thoughts, changing [goes into this] basket of appearances; emotions, changing [goes into this] basket of appearances. What else? Sensations, pleasure, pain, changing [goes into the] basket of appearances.

I am going fast, but actually when you are alone you can sit in this; slowly, look at this. All things going, one by one. Where am I? Now, am I also now in the basket? Or some concept might be there; soul? If it is just a concept, concepts are also constantly changing [goes into the] basket of appearances.

What is your insight about yourself? What wasn’t thrown in the basket? Where are you? Outside? Inside?

Outside and inside is also changing, throw them in the basket of appearances. What is left?

It is not fathomable by the mind.

It is Your Truth.

That is why my favorite question these days has become: What is real about you?

What is not an appearance?

The ‘you’ that you represent, is that real?

Or is it just an appearance?’

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Try this, whenever you have a minute. Say ‘I’ …, and then check with yourself:

Who am I representing? Who is this ‘I’?

(I.., I?)

Who is this one?’

Am I just representing this body? It would be so much simpler if you were just representing this body. We feel that body identification is the biggest problem, but this body, Right Now, is not concerned about money in the bank account; is not concerned about managers or employees at work; is not concerned with relationships. It is not even concerned about the health of the body. [Chuckles] It is that which claims to be the owner of all these things; the owner of the body, the owner of relationships, the owner of the money. The one that has the name; that seems to be the problem. Now, that is the mythical one.

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See What You Are, Empty of Positions

It can feel like what I’m sharing is some Absolute position sometimes. But I feel my invitation to all of you, my request to all of you, is to See what you are, empty of all conclusions; empty of all positions. Any position that there is will then have the opposite position also; will have a dichotomy. So, if it feels like ‘Ananta is only sharing from the Absolute position; we can’t get him down off of that no matter what we do’ [Chuckles] then know that this is not true. All the sharing that is happening form here is not based on any conclusion. It based on what is being Seen; what the insight is Right Here and Right Now.

Sometimes the vocabulary, of course, can depend on previous terms used but the insight is completely fresh. And the point of Satsang also is not that I will have these insights and I will just share with you how beautiful Advaita is. It’s an invitation for you to have the same [insights]; to check Right Now what You Are…, without going to left or right, without making a conclusion, without taking a position.

So, I’ve been inviting you to this as one of the possible positions (of course, there are millions of possible positions) for over three years; the popular positions to take. One is the Absolute. One is that which is an expression of the Absolute. And one is that which is an individual position. These are the three most popular positions.

Now, in this moment, actually, naturally you are starting off empty of all of these three. No position actually applies to You here. [Silence] The mind will come with all its offers for its position (‘But…, but…, but…’) The notions might come; the various sensational qualities. This is the play of life. Outward seeming-events might happen. Everything has to function as it is.

As you come to this notion-less-ness, some of you will feel that all words are pointless. It’s completely fine. Enjoy this ineloquence (as I was saying yesterday). And some of you will feel that words are coming to describe my Reality, which is empty of positions. Now, whether that sounds like the Absolute position or it sounds like an aspect of that position or it sounds like an individual position…

Q: What is the middle one?

A:The middle one is that ‘I am a part of the whole’. A part of the whole. So, it is not the whole but is just a part of it. So, I’m like a ray of the sun. I am made up of the sun itself, but I am a ray of the sun. So, what we would call ‘Dvaita’ instead of Advaita; that there is a difference between the Absolute and ‘I Am’. That is the middle position. Because it can sound like ‘The whole is too much, it’s too big for me; and it feels like my experience resonates more with being connected to God in this beautiful way’ …, almost saying ‘I’m made up of a substance called God but I am not God in Its entirety.’ So, we can say it like that.

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I’m not so concerned with this expression. I’m more concerned about whether that is coming from a conceptual position-taking or whether it is coming from your insight in your Heart.

Now, because we have gotten used to learning in this way (that we go to classes, we go to learn various things; we learn how to pick up new knowledge that gives us a better and better, seemingly-better and better, position) then it can feel like ‘What is the position that I’m learning about when I’m coming to Advaita Satsang? I’m learning about the position that ‘I Am the Absolute.’

We went to an ashram some time ago, and they were joking with me because they follow a different path. So, they were saying ‘What is this Advaita thing? You just keep saying to yourself ‘I am Brahman, I am Brahman, I am Brahman?’ [I say] ‘No, it’s not about saying to yourself ‘I am Brahman’ or ‘I am the Self’ or ‘I am the Absolute’ but coming to the insight of this, coming to the recognition of this.’ There is a difference between taking a position and what is true insight. There is a difference between inference and insight. If it is just learned knowledge, if it is just a tool, then it doesn’t help in that way.

Then what happens is that once we get caught up with this mind thing, then everything can be so popularly defended. Every route of communication, the mind will try to block it and say ‘This one is saying…’ And I’m sharing with you because it is helpful for many others who could be saying these things, that ‘Father’s just going to want to do the inquiry with me but I’m done with the inquiry; I don’t want to do it anymore.’ Or ‘Father will then say ‘Okay, just sit in the Presence and the Presence will take care.’ [Chuckles] And he’s right, actually, in what he’s saying. But after being in Satang for so long, the mind also knows these things, knows all these outward expressions, and it says ‘Okay, this is all that’s going to happen. What’s the point? It’s just pointless. Ananta he’s just straight ‘Observe’… ‘What are you? Who are you? You are Awareness. What is happening to Awareness? Nothing will happen.’ [Laughs] It can sound like that, outwardly. But if it is not your taste, then please don’t say that it is. When we do the inquiry together, then don’t make me feel good. Say ‘Father, I don’t think I’m Awareness or I don’t feel I’m Awareness.’

Many times, it takes strong events to happen in life, strong fears to come, for us to become full integrity in this way; full of integrity in this way, where you say ‘You are always talking about the Absolute, but I find that has nothing to do with my life. I still have to go make money, I still have to do my job, and how does learning ‘I Am That’ help me over there?’ You must say it, if you feel that.

And I was saying to all of you that I’m not prescribing a position. I’m not asking any of you to chant a mantra ‘I am Awareness’ [Laughs] or to hold onto a concept.

All I want to know is, when you’re empty of any notion about yourself…

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Anchors Prescribed by the Sages

All the Sages have consistently said one thing: It is when this ‘I Am’ is playing as ‘I am something’ then all this world of suffering can emerge. Now, this ‘something’ is a notion. In fact, in any notion, the presumed ‘something’ is present. So, as I’ve been saying these days ‘Come to your notion-less Existence’. In this, the Reality of the Self is completely apparent. Nothing needs to be spoken.

And yet, various ways have been prescribed. If the addiction was so mild that just upon hearing this ‘You are the Self, remain notion-less about yourself’ all notions could be dropped, then we could not need any prescription.

So, let’s presume this is the last Satsang [Chuckles] and do something very practical today. Let’s see if we can get to the heart of the matter.

So, I say to you: for the next few minutes, without any anchor, without any reference, without anything to do, just remain empty of all notions. And don’t judge yourself about anything. So, for the next few minutes, just remain notion-less with no concept about anything at all. And if any concept is picked up, it’s okay; let it be. Leave it behind. Got it?

[A few minutes of silence]

Very good; very good. How many of you feel that ‘The wandering mind is too much and I cannot remain notion-less; just in this natural way’? Most spiritual seekers have this sense. It is said in India that the elephant is walking through the marketplace but it’s trunk in very restless. When the elephant is being walked through the marketplace, his trunk is picking up things and disrupting all the shops. It can seem like that ‘something’ being picked up (‘I am something’) that notion is like this elephant’s trunk. So, the Sages have prescribed many different ‘sticks.’ What does the owner of the elephant do? He puts a stick in the trunk and gets the elephant to hold the stick in its trunk; then as it holds the stick, it doesn’t seem to move about so much, here and there. So, all the prescribed methods actually are just this stick; just this anchor for us to get anchored in the Being, without picking up concepts about ourself.

Now, this is like a practical workshop today. So, try all the various anchors and see which one feels the most comfortable. And if nothing was needed, then nothing was needed anyway; then, just play with this. It’s just a play.

So, let’s say that the first anchor is to just remain as the primal Witnessing, the Witnessing Itself; That which is aware of all things but in Itself is not a thing. Understood? So, for the next few minutes, we take a position. The anchor is a position; to remain as the Witnessing Itself; That which witnesses all things but Itself is not a thing. Remain the Sakshi; remain the Witnessing. If we anchor ourself in this Witnessing, actually it is not truly a position because it is non-

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phenomenal; but it can feel like it, it can seem like an anchor which can stabilize us. So, let’s take a few minutes and remain just as the Witnessing.

[A few minutes of silence]

Okay, very good; very good. So, some of you will find this very comfortable, and some of you will find this completely abstract. You might wonder ‘What is this witnessing?’ So, the next possibility for an anchor…?

Remember what we’re doing? We’re using an anchor to not pick up any notion of ‘something’. So, the first one was: In Seeing that I am the Self, we just remain empty of all notions. And for some of us it has become comfortable like this.

Then we said ‘I will follow the advice of the Sages and just remain as the primal Witnessing Itself; That which Itself is not an object but witnesses all other objects.’ But sometimes, our mind seems resistant to this because it seems too abstract; it doesn’t know what to hold onto.

Then, some of the most famous Sages like Nisargadatta Maharaj have suggested that we stay with the sense of Being, the sense ‘I Am’. So, what is the sense ‘I Am’? I ask you to ‘Try and stop being. Don’t be for a moment.’ Then you don’t have to chase this ‘I Am’…, you can see that it is so apparent; that which cannot stop being is this sense ‘I Am’.

So, this Beingness, sense of Presence, sense of Existence…, for the next few minutes, we will just stay with that; just keep our attention on this Being…, very naturally, playfully. We’re not doing anything serious. Just with a gentle smile on your face, if possible. Very relaxed. For the next few minutes, just stay with your sense of Existence, with your Being.

[A few minutes of silence]

Okay, very good; very good. Now, some of you will still feel like all of this is very confusing; too abstract. You need something more tangible to hold onto. It can feel still like ‘These words…, what is this Existence? What is this primal Witnessing?’ And you must, at some level, have integrity in your Heart and just see ‘What is the best medicine which seems to be working for me?’ Forget about what is highest, what is lowest, what makes you the most accomplished seeker. It is not about that. Whatever is the seeming-way for this concept-less-ness; all paths lead to the same goal. So, for those of you [who feel that] (in fact, for all of us; we’re all playing with this) then we hold onto something more tangible.

One generic more-tangible sound or mantra that all of us can hold onto is ‘Ram’. But if in your Heart, there is a natural devotion for something and you know what can serve as remembrance to that, as devotion to that, you can use that as your mantra or phrase. The rest of us will just stay with the inner chanting of ‘Ram’. At your own speed, at your own pace, let everything dissolve

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in this holy name. [Silence] So, it can be ‘Ram…, Ram…, Ram…’ Chant inwardly. So, for the next few minutes, just stay with this mantra…, and allow everything else to dissolve into this.

[A few minutes of silence]

Very good; very good. Now, some of you will find that the minute you decided to stop, the mantra just goes on chanting on its own. And if it does, then allow it to. This is called Ajapa japa. The japa [chanting] is happening without the stance of the idea that ‘I am doing it’.

For some of you, this might not be clear. (We might change this on YouTube later.) So, this is for all of you. Coming to this notion-less-ness, first in the simple letting go of all notions; empty of any anchor, empty of any concept. Then, for those who can feel like ‘No, this is too difficult and my attention is wandering too much’ we’re looking at various anchors that have been provided by the Sages throughout history. So, we’ve looked at the anchor of remaining as the primal Witnessing. We’ve looked at the anchor of just being, keeping our attention on the sense ‘I Am’. And then, we looked at the anchor of using a holy name to keep our attention centered; the mind not so distracted.

Some of you will feel like ‘None of this is really working and no word is actually appealing so much or taking hold so that attention is staying with this.’ So, what has been prescribed? Many paths (especially in the path of Buddhism) there is this practice of mindfulness, which implies the technique of keeping your attention with your breath; and then later, with all the actions (as you’re in the action, being with the action completely). But the anchor point, the main anchor point, is the breath. Let’s try this for a few minutes. Just whatever might be coming and going, we remain with the breath.

Some of the Indian Sages have also prescribed (if this helps for some of you) that as the in-breath is coming, we hear it as ‘So’. When the out-breath is going, we hear it as ‘Hum’. So, then it becomes mantra and breath at the same time.

So, just feel your breath very naturally; again, playfully, just having fun, not doing anything serious. Just remain with your breath. And if the mind distracts you, nothing to worry about. Just gently come back to it. Just gently come back to your breath. For a few minutes, we’ll just stay with our breath.

[A few minutes of silence]

Very good. Now, some of you will have the experience in the middle while you’re doing this that your breath has stopped. It might feel like your breath just stops. And sometimes it can feel like that, so don’t worry about it; don’t try to become all scientific about it. It’s nothing to fear. Also, it is nothing special. It’s no big deal at all; don’t make it a ‘thing’.

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Naturally, as you’re using any of these anchors, you’ll come to your notion-less Existence where ultimately even the anchor will be dropped. [Silence]

Just for the sake of completion, for those for whom even this staying with the breath does not seem to appeal at all, does not seem to help us with this distractive ‘trunk of the elephant’ we can do some physical hatha yoga, Surya Namaskars, laughter yoga; any of this is good.

In the play, meet yourself with integrity, with honesty in your Heart. And the biggest blessing is (some of you, many of you, are blessed with) some devotion in your Heart…, that can make all of this very natural and playful. Even to remain notion-less without any anchor is greatly blessed if you feel like you’re always at the Master’s feet…, you’re always in the Master’s Heart.

[Silence]

The Satguru’s blessings are always with all of you.

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All Distinctions Are Being Made Up

What we find actually, when we say look inside or go inside, is that this distinction between inside and outside dissolves. That you have an inside and you have an outside means that you must have a boundary. You must be having a separating line which divides something which is inside from outside. You’re finding that there is just one. Even in the world of perception, there is just one appearance. My Being in which all of this is arising is not separate from the Knowing of it.

This is what we were singing also actually. ‘One Self, one Truth.’ Whether you call it Absolute or you call it Govind, that is just a question of terminology. All distinctions have just been made up actually, to define some qualities that we are tasting, where we have sometimes bunched some of them and given them a name. Therefore, I have created a separation. What divides me and you? [Silence] What divides me and you? If the concept of ‘here’ and ‘there’ is not there, then is there a division?

[Silence]

Is there anything which divides Your Existence from That which is aware of it?

[Silence]

What divides the hand and the finger?

[Silence]

Now, suffering is a sense of separation; an idea of separation. That’s why [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘You are not experiencing suffering but you are suffering your experiencing.’ Experience has always been this oneness, actually. This has never gotten divided. If the Self ever got divided, who could put it back together again? All the king’s men and all the king’s horses could do it. [Chuckles] (This nursery rhyme we are telling to the children.) Nothing could do it. It is just a misconception. And what happens with misconceptions is that when the light of Knowledge, of true insight (not a mental knowledge but true Knowledge) shines on misconception, what happens to the misconception? It just vanishes. Does something have to change physically for that? No. It was just a misunderstanding. It’s like if you believe that you are sitting in Kormangala. Then I came and told you ‘No, no this is not Kormangala, this is Mugeshpalaya.’ [Chuckles] Did I have to physically change you from Koramangala to Murugeshpalya? No, I just told you and you checked for yourself that this is true. That is all that is happening.

Q: Father, where is this understanding happening? Insight?

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A:Inside Consciousness. Insight is happening in this Consciousness. Consciousness has been deluding Itself by picking up these beliefs in these mind stories and now It is checking for Itself again. Why is It doing it? It is Its play. There is no ‘why’ actually. [Chuckles]

So, what is happening is that I am telling you and you are listening and then you are looking. When you are looking, you are tasting. I’ve said very simply what has traditionally been described as Advaita sadhana. It’s very simple. Because I am saying: the listening of it is happening. Based on the listening of it, I am saying that you are not divided. You are checking: ‘What makes me divided? What makes me feel that I am divided?’ You are looking at some sensation and you’re seeing that it does not divide You. It is contained within You…, just as all other sensations are.

So, this is what you mean by contemplation. Not playing with mental concepts but checking for yourself. And as you are checking for yourself, you are tasting your un-limited-ness. This Consciousness tasting Its own Source (Itself) is what all spiritual paths are for. This is how this is so direct and straight forward.

Now, nobody really struggles too much with listening. Although sometimes it does happen that even when the words of Satsang are going on, the mind is (like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says) going ‘Blah, blah, blah.’ [Chuckles] It just not letting you hear what is being said. Sometimes that can happen. But mostly, after a few Satsangs, it starts to settle down and the hearing of it can happen.

Now, the hearing of it (that which you heard in the play) you can do two things with it. The first thing is that you can just pick it up and make it concept; add it to the basket of your knowledge. ‘Oh, I heard now it; now saying I am saying that I am not separate. That is what Master said, that I am not separate.’ See, this is just hearing conceptually. The second is (my invitation is for this) that you hear something like this, that ‘You are undivided; you have no boundary’ and you check it with you own inner investigation, your self-inquiry. Then it is checked directly. Then that becomes insight. Otherwise it remains conceptual.

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How Do We Go Looking for the Self?

Our theme has been this: How do we go looking for the Self? And why is it that if the Self is MySelf, then why do we see so many frustrated seekers? [Chuckles] Maybe one basic misunderstanding could be there. The misunderstanding could be that you will perceive an object as the Self; you will come to the discovery of the Self as if it is an object. Or it will be, at least, an object of perception. Because I know when I say ‘an object’ you might think I am talking about just objects which are visible through sight. But I am talking about all phenomenon; even imagination, memory or whatever the experience of some phenomenon might be. We are expecting to find the complete Self as if it is some ‘objective’ appearance. And this is bound to be frustrating.

Now, if I was to tell you that the Reality of You is beyond phenomena, how would you go looking for it? Where would you go? Which direction? If you have to go beyond phenomena, where do you have to go to search?

So, if we change rules of the game…, our main rules have been to look for things objectively. If we said ‘You have to go to Gem Wellington.’ (Some are here for the first time) I say ‘Follow this direction; go left, go right, and there you will find it.’ Now the thing is, with the Self, you cannot find it that way. You cannot find it objectively, because it is beyond phenomena. So, now which way will you go? You might feel like ‘If I come to some special Satsang and the Master is really powerful, then I will have a special experience which is called the Self.’ But whatever the experience might be, it is only a by-product of the Self; just like any other experience. No experience is the Self.

Are you looking with me? Are you trying to decode this puzzle? How do we find something that is not phenomenal, that is not perceivable through either the senses or that which we call inner perception? Where to go? Left or right? Up or down? [Chuckles] Front or back?

Non-phenomenal means not in time or space. There is nowhere you can travel that will get you the Self. And you don’t have to wait for the starting point; that the Self will come (like it has a beginning). So, just waiting at some place will also not get you the Self. [Chuckles] ‘The Self will come now.’ That’s not going to happen, because those are definitions of phenomena. How to find that which is non-phenomenal?

So, the Sages have given us these clues. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘Ask: Who am I?’ What is this simple teaching, simple pointing? Whatever you perceive, find out what witnesses that. Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Can this perceiver be perceived?’

Starting to leave the phenomenal realms? Or no? [Chuckles] So, that which we call ‘inside’…, (some of you would have answered ‘I can only find it inside; I cannot find it outside.’) …, that which we call ‘inside’ actually is beyond this phenomenal realm. It is not inside the body.

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These questions ‘Are you aware now? Who is aware of your existence? Who am I? Can the perceiver be perceived?’ …, all of these are not subject to time and space.

So, I ask you (and with, as much innocence you can muster up) check if you are aware now.

Are you aware?

What is the color of this awareness?

Size? Shape? Age?

Is it coming and going?

Where are you in relation to this?

What is your position now?

And most of you, if not all of you, are coming to this simple recognition that I Am this Awareness, the Self.

Now the only doubt that remains is ‘But, what does this mean for me?’ [Chuckles] This is what I call carrying the ‘little me’ in your pocket while you took a dip in your un-associated Self. Once you see that You are this Awareness, where is the ‘me’ now?

Has this discovery of the untouched, unmoving, unborn Self been made by some ‘me’? Some ‘me’ has found it? Some entity has found it? [Silence]

So, if the Self Itself is playing this game of finding the Self, what can we say about this ‘little old me’? [Silence] If you were not to label any phenomena or any combination of phenomena as ‘me’ then what trouble can you have? If you labeled no sensation ‘me’ then there is no duality. (Advaita).

[Asking sangha]: Is there a ‘But…’ there?

What is this except a habit? You got into the habit of labeling some sensations ‘me’. But if you look for a moment, you will see that You are That unlimited, infinite space in which all these sensations come and go. Even if you are visualizing this now, even the visualization is contained in You.

Now, should we talk about ‘you’ as an individual? Or as Awareness?

And if you say ‘Speak of me as Awareness’ that is pretty much the end of Satsang. [Chuckles] It cannot really be spoken; it can only be pointed to.

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‘I Am Something’ is the Ground for Suffering

A:What is your position now? [Silence] Empty of positions, what are you?

Q:Awareness.

A:That is the great thing about the Truth, that the Truth does not need anything. No notion is needed. Now, be a person without notion and show me. Can you do it? [Chuckles] Be limited without any idea, without any concept.

To represent something which is limited, you need a notion. The Truth is apparent without representation. [Silence]

If I was to propose to all of you that the only problem is our addiction to representing ourself conceptually, the only problem is that we are representing ourself as a made-up limited entity, and in reality, this problem is never real anyway…, would you agree or not? How many would not agree? And then you have to define the problem which truly is. You got the point?

So, at least this much clarity can be there. At least we know that we are talking about the same thing. Otherwise I could speak for another thirty years. But I am giving you the solution to this problem (which I am saying is the only problem) but you are thinking that the problem is something else. So, at least, can we agree that this is the only seeming problem…, that we are using a concept to define ourselves, which makes us seem limited? The concept could be based on the appearance of some emotions, some sensations; the sensations of the visual perception of the body. But there is a notion, none-the-less, that ‘I am something’. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘When ‘I Am’ is playing as playing as ‘I am something’…., that ‘I am

something’ is the ground for suffering.’ [Silence]

I am suffering from ‘something’. [Nisargadatta] Maharaja said ‘You are not experiencing suffering, but you are suffering your experiencing.’ And how to suffer from an experience? Let’s do it ‘reverse Satsang’. Suppose your task is to suffer from an experience. Can you do it naturally, just by itself? So, what are steps you have to take to suffer?

Q: Resist.

A: Resist. How to resist?

Q: Shun it away with notions, interpretations.

A:How to resist? There must be nation which says ‘It should not be. It should be something else.’ Or ‘Why this?’ ‘Why?’ is one of the favorites. ‘Why me?!’ is the most favorite. ‘When will

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this end? When will it be something else?’ In all of these, whether the ‘me’ is indicated directly or not, it is definitely there indirectly. ‘When will this end…, for me? When will God come…, for me?’ This ‘me’ goes very uninvestigated. It’s the most uninvestigated thing. We will investigate more when buying a new car. We investigate that more than we investigate this ‘me’. If we investigate this ‘me’ as much as investigate for a new house or a car, I feel like ‘It’s done!’ We can’t hold on to the notion. But the problem is that we try to keep solving it for the ‘me’ without ever investigating the reality of this ‘me’.

Q:Like ‘I can change this.’

A:‘I can change this.’ Exactly. The notion can be any of this. What is this idea of ‘me’? Who has a good idea of ‘me’? [Silence] ‘Me, me; it’s me! What do you mean me?’ It’s just this interpreter of perceptions, whose single-pointed agenda is to convince you that you are a ‘me’ …, a limited ‘me’. It will use this with all this might. ‘What is the point of asking this question? I am really not understanding. It’s too abstract. I don’t know what you are saying. This is the same old thing every day.’ You see, this thing. But the question which is asked is very simple: Who are you representing? Who is the ‘me’? [Silence]

Now, of all our friends and relatives, all the people that we know, if somebody was to buy a new house, they would investigate it. They would go see it, check the plumbing, check the walls whether they are leaking or not; check all of these things. Make a few visits at least. Check with the neighbors if it is a safe location. All this. But we live with this idea of ‘me’. Have we investigated it?

Q: Because it is easier to investigate objects.

A:Yes, yes. And that is in our training also, to find out what is the height of this mountain, to find out what is the depth of this ocean, then you have objective things to measure. Another name of Maya is ‘that which we can measure’. Phenomena. That is exactly what we are talking about. To come to some object and to look at that; why is it easier? Because this tool called the mind is very happy to investigate objective things. When you say ‘Find out who you are’ [the response can be] ‘What kind of question is that?’ And that is the design of this instrument called mind. It is doing its job very well. It is not failing in this function at all. It is designed to convince Consciousness Itself that it is a limited entity.

Who gives power to the mind?

Is there ever mind without You?

288

What About This ‘I Am’?

When I first met Guruji [Sri Mooji] in January of 2009, I used to get the distinct feeling that I am around the love of Jesus. You just always feel that he’s got the knowledge of the greatest Sages like Dattatreya. But to be around him, I just felt like what the disciples of Jesus would feel; to be enveloped in his love, to be enveloped in his grace, was the most beautiful feeling that I had. And I know that Garima [Ananta’s wife] also agreed with me; we felt the same. And we had met many Masters earlier, but this love was unique. This feeling of just being adopted by him, the feeling that everything is taken care of, is really, really beautiful. And we must all today express our gratitude to this beautiful Master who has not only shown the love of Jesus but also brought us to this Christ consciousness; Your own being, Your own Presence; this Truth.

So, when we hear somewhere that God says ‘I Am that I Am’ it is not just bundle of concepts. It is not something esoteric that we can’t figure out. We have found this God Presence in our own Heart. So, all our gratitude to Guruji and to Jesus Christ and to all the Sages that have shown us this in such a beautiful way. Is the same Satguru that resides in your Heart, which is Your own Presence; the Light of this universe.

[Silence]

What have they all pointed to? This ‘I Am’ …, not the ‘I am something’. The rest of the world is pointing to ‘I am something’. What makes the Sage a Sage? The Sage is pointing to the ‘I Am’. And where can you find this ‘I Am’? God said ‘I Am that I Am’. He is taking about You: ‘I Am’.

Who doesn’t say ‘I am’? All of us do. But usually we say ‘I am happy, I am bored, I am dissatisfied, and I am excited.’ But before we add something to this (or ‘I am Ananta, I am Grija, I am this body. I am thinking that I want to go to New York.’) …, what is the basis? What is at the center of all of these? It is You.

This body has changed. You might feel like you had one body since you were born. But you had many. Not one cell in this body is the same as that baby who was born. But You have remained. Not one thought had stayed with you. All have come and gone; millions of them. Emotions, also coming and going all the time. Nothing has stayed constant.

But what about this ‘I Am’?

Who is that?

Does it have a name?

Does is it have a birth?

Who are you?

289

Still Holding onto the Seeker Identity?

Are you ready to meet God?

Are you happy to just be limited person?

Are you happy to just be something?

Are you looking to become that which is beyond all things?

[Silence]

(Not even ‘become’ is the right word actually.)

It is to See that You Are beyond all things.

Are you ready for the Truth?

Do you want to continue to play with identity? …, with that which comes and goes…, with the notion of yourself, (including the very humble sounding notion that ‘I am looking for the truth or searching for it’…, which itself can become an avoidance of it)?

I feel like many who come to Satsang are un-willing to give up seeker identity. Because they feel like ‘Then, what am I? At least this I can hold on to. What I am finding about myself is too broad, is too big for me to handle. So, let me be the little old spiritual seeker.’ …, when all your insight is telling you otherwise.

290

Some Recaps of This Year’s Main Pointings

Looking back, I feel like a lot of this year has gone into showing you that you don’t have a boundary, that you don’t have a limitation. And many of you have checked this and seen that all limitations have either been an idea that you had or have been some sensation which you are feeling that it defines you.

Your limitlessness is Here, Right Now. You don’t need to take a magic pill which will make you limitless.

It is what You Are.

[Silence]

This is your own discovery, your own insight. You are discovering that You Are the Ocean itself. But the play some of you are playing is that you are trying to fill this Ocean into a coconut. You are trying to get your mind to approve this. It is trying to get the ‘mind certificate’ saying ‘Yes, yes, you are the Ocean’ but the mind is that limited instrument which is designed to convince you about your limitation, about your individuality.

You are Seeing that you are the Ocean, but you are believing what the mind is saying that ‘You are still a coconut.’

You cannot gather Your magnitude into this limited object.

You want to own freedom personally; you cannot do that. The body will not become free. It is not this body which is finding freedom; You are. Then the body is seen like all the waves are seen…, a part of You, on the surface of You.

A big part of last year has also gone into dealing with all the ‘But …, but…’ All the doubt. ‘Yes, I see this, but… Yes, I know this, but… But I saw it also last week, but…, it is gone now.’ All this; all the doubts.

And over and over, I have invited you back to Right Now…, to See what You truly Are…., to

experience the Truth about YourSelf; not in what it means to the future ‘you’…, not what happened to you yesterday, not any idea that you have about yourself, but in Reality what You Are.

[Silence]

291

We have spent many months studying the beautiful Ashtavakra Gita, and it’s so beautiful. Every verse is a beautiful clue to this insight about the Self. [Silence] Each one of them, any one of them, can blow away any idea of identification that you might have.

[Silence]

We have been blessed with the Presence of Satsang and the words of Satsang.

I have said often that most of Satsang is not in the words. It is in the Presence of Satsang itself that a lot of the identification getting cleaned up is happening. But this does not mean that the words are not important. The words are beautiful pointers that you are using for your own contemplation. And this is the best use of the words of Satsang. The best use of the words of Satsang is not that you believe them (that might be the worst use, actually. If you are creating another new belief system based on the words of Satsang, then that is not the intent). The best use of the words of Satsang is, after you hear them, to check them for yourself.

If the Master says that ‘You are the one solitary witness of all there is’ …, (the beautiful words of Ashtavakra) ’The one solitary witness of all there is’…, he says You are! What prevents us from checking on this right now? Just some doubt can come, some resistance can come. But you are valuing the Truth more than doubt. You are checking: ‘The great Sage has said this; would he be lying? It must be the Truth. Let me find out That which witnesses all things.’

And where do you come to? You come to Your own Self.

[Silence]

The pointer is very clear, your insight is very clear. But many, many, many times we will buy into this doubt from the mind which says ‘But I didn’t see anything at all. I didn’t find the Self.’ And we spent a lot of time on explaining that you will not find the Self as an object; you will not find something which has some quality, some attribute.

[Silence]

That is why I have given all of you this beautiful pointer ‘Are you aware now?’

292

To Leave the Identity Doesn’t Mean You Must Renounce

To leave the identity doesn’t mean that you have to renounce anything at all. Because for some of you it might be sounding like ‘Ananta is saying that I must renounce everything that is changing.’ The play of this life can continue.

The ocean does not have to renounce the waves. It just has to See that it is not contained in a wave. The waves can still continue; and will. It is just the misidentification that ‘I am limited. I am a wave.’ Then you will see that the play of this life will continue to happen.

I See that the play of this life continues to happen. And I said the other day (only half-jokingly, actually) that Ananta is also a member of this sangha; of my sangha. He is not the one that is speaking. He is just an instrument for this sharing.

So, this life can continue. But that feverishness, that attachment to the objective appearance of the things in this life, they lose the power to create suffering because you are not attached to them.

The true Master holds up a mirror for you. And if you have the expectation that you are going to see ‘some-thing’ then again, you might be disappointed, because it is showing you that you are ‘no-thing’.

Not that you are nothing; but you are ‘no-thing’.

That which is the witness Itself of all things…, That in Itself is not a thing. But it is the absolute Witness. It is not ‘nothing’.

And That is You.

293

The Truth is Apparent in Your Notion-less Existence

Now, all of this that I said may be beginning to sound a bit complicated, so ‘How do I get to the Self?’ That’s why a big part of the year also went into showing you that, in your notion-less Existence, this Truth is apparent about YourSelf. There’s nothing that you even have to do. This is the best news ever! …, that that which you are looking for doesn’t have to be found at all.

I always say this is the best news, but when I’m sharing that, I don’t see that [reflected back] in the one that I’m sharing it with. [Laughs] I even asked one day: If somebody said ‘You! What are you doing sitting here? I saw your name; it was announced on the radio that you won a prize for 1 million dollars!’ More excitement would come if you were to hear news like this. [Laughs] But when I’m telling you that there’s nothing that you have to do, and it is apparent to You that You are this Self which is beyond time and space, you can’t show that [response to the good news]. Why is this not the best news that you will ever hear? …, that You’re beyond time and space; that the universe is just a ‘coming and going’ for You.

You are the eternal, primal witness of all of this; independent of anything you might get or not get in this life.

How to find this? Here and Now, it is already Seen…, what You Are.

Don’t go to mind for a certificate. Don’t buy the notion that this one is selling you.

What are You, Right Now? Are You contained in something? Do You have an age?

Don’t even wait for the mind to conclude whether this is true or not.

Nowhere to go; nothing to do. You have always been This.

If the Self is eternal, must not it be Here Now? Must not it be You?

If you are saying ‘God is everywhere’ are you really meaning ‘God is everywhere but me’? Or do you really mean it?

There is no separation that ever happened. All of this is the play of One Consciousness. For the One that is All-There-Is, what could You possibly want?

For the One for whom all things are happening within It, what could It possibly do?

It is when Consciousness takes a position about Itself (even if it feels like it is the highest position, the enlightened position) it is still drawing a boundary around Itself. Empty of notions about yourself, you are free. If you believe in a location, in a reference point about yourself, you draw an imaginary boundary and you play this game of personhood; ego.

294

Be Watchful for Level Confusion

Don’t get into ‘level confusion’. Don’t worry about how this body is presenting itself after it has found freedom. Because your discovery is not located in this body. This body is just another appearance on the surface of the ocean, on the screen of Consciousness.

I’ll end with a story about Adi Shankaracharya. So, the great Sage Shankaracharya was sharing with many people sitting around like this. He was sharing that ‘Brahman is the Truth, the Absolute is the Truth, and this world appearance is illusory, is a coming and going, an ephemeral appearance. He was sharing like this; and in those days, there were leopards and tigers roaming around. [Chuckles] So, then, one tiger came and Shankara was the first to run. [Laughter] He was sharing that the world appearance is illusory but Shankara was the first to run (while sharing this maybe; he just finished the sentence and started running). So, he went and climbed a tree, along with everyone else who was in Satsang with him. They all climbed trees, went to a safe spot. Then they waited for the tiger to go. After the tiger was gone, they waited a few minutes and they got down and Shankara got down.

They collected for Satsang again and he could see that people in the sangha were snickering at him. So, he said ‘What happened? Why are you laughing at me?’ They said ‘Weren’t you saying that the world is illusory and the only Truth is the Absolute, which is unchanged, unhurt? Then, when the tiger came, why did you run?’ And he said ‘My running was also part of the illusion.’

[Laughter]

So, this is what I mean. You don’t have to present yourself as some enlightened…, to present this body as some enlightened Master or something like this. [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj said very beautifully ‘I let my worldly existence play as it wants. I remain as I Am.’

Nobody can predict the way it will play out for this body/mind…, whether the sharing of Satsang will happen from there or you will go into complete silence or whether you’ll lead the life of a regular house-holder; nobody knows. What events will happen, nobody can predict.

Forget about all fanciful notions about the body of the enlightened Master…, not needing sleep, having supernatural abilities, he can be at five places at the same time. If those things have to happen, they will happen. Let them be. But they are no proof of your freedom.

Remain in your notion-less Existence. Surrender any notion that you might have about yourself, or inquire into the Reality of it. Come to your emptiness, your neutrality.

295

The Ocean Doesn’t Fit into a Coconut

What if all that we could ever imagine wanting and much more was already yours; in fact, was already You? Would that be the end of seeking or not? And we can’t put the cart before the horse, okay? [Chuckles] You must come to this insight before you pick up the concept ‘I dropped seeking’ or ‘I stopped seeking’ or something like that. It must be your tasted discovery that you are That which contains all; and You YourSelf are uncontained. And I see that many of you are having this insight, but the sticky habit of trying to apply it personally still comes back.

You are finding out that you are the Ocean and now you are trying to full up this Ocean in the coconut. You are discovering Your limitlessness, and then you are asking ‘How does this help me?’ So, these are just remnants of an old habit. Because everything has been applied to this personal ‘me’ for so long that it can seem like even this infinite, uncontained existence you want to own as some body/mind organism. It cannot be this way. That can seem very uncomfortable for a bit as you try to keep one foot in the Limitless Ocean and the other foot in the identity of being a body/mind as you are learning to let go of all identification.

Where do your feet naturally land when you do not have a notion about yourself? What is your natural state? When you are not trying to get something or hold onto something, where are you? This way makes it very simple. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said that the truest knowledge is just the letting go of the false.

What if I told you that the Truth is completely apparent to You, Right Now? It is completely apparent to You, but not to your translator. The translator is this one who is subtitling this life. We have been watching this movie with wrong subtitles. The movie has always been fine, completely perfect as it is (not even perfect; but the subtitles have been telling you that you are something bound, you are something limited, you are something that was born, and something that will die). And this notion of death is something innately repulsive; something doesn’t accept it (even in those cultures where these kind of Satsangs are not there, there are other concepts of resting in peace after death, or life after death, or resurrection) because something in your heart knows that what You Are in essence was not born and will not die. This Essence has not gone anywhere. It is your very Essence right now. How to get to this Essence? Find out That which does not come and go; find That out which Itself witnesses all things, but Itself doesn’t have any attributes or qualities.

For some time, bring the focus to this witnessing, and for some time don’t be so concerned with that which is witnessed. Move away from the content of the appearances for a bit because this content is constantly changing. But your Essence is not; your Self is not. It is ‘no-thing’ but it is not nothing. If it was nothing, then you would be Essence-less, you would not have an Essence then; you would have no Self. But intuitively, you can sense that that is not right. ‘I exist, and there is a Root of my Existence, a Source of my Existence which is undeniable.’ This ‘quality- less undeniable’ …, is there anything else like this? This is our own Self.

296

Don’t Pick Up the Pretense of the False

Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi said that the most important question is to ask ‘Who am I?’ And when he was asked to explain how to ask ‘Who am I?’ he said ‘Find that out which witnesses all things.’

If a thought is coming with an answer, find out who witness that thought.

If some resistance is coming, if some emotion is coming, some other sensations is coming, what witnesses that?

What is aware of your sight and sound?

All sense perceptions, you are aware of them.

But You YourSelf are unperceived.

Now I trust that most of you are having this insight and have had this insight. And you will also See that unless you pick up a concept about yourself, unless you pick up a story about yourself, there is no notion of personal suffering.

So, when the great Sages said ‘Abide as the Self’ or ‘Remain as the Self” it only meant: Don’t pick up the pretense of the false. Don’t identify with something which is not true. Don’t interpret any sensation as your boundary. It is just an interpretation. Don’t believe that any perception can contain You. Allow all things to come and go. Don’t become an opposition to anything at all. Become more spacious than this space in this room…, which has no judgement about anything that is dragged into it.

Your Being is limitless. It is unharmed by all experiences. Don’t pick and choose what gets your attention. Allow whatever has to come in this life to come. Everything shines in Your own Light. Nothing is appearing outside of the will of the Consciousness, which is Your own Being.

This Light is supremely intelligent. The Universe does not make mistakes and It has perfect timing.

More spacious than space You Are.

297

Consciousness is Reminding Itself

Now, Consciousness is asking itself: How long do you want to play with these mock boundaries that you have believed about yourself? How long do you want to play with the notion that you are just some-thing?

[Silence]

The truth of Your enormity, of Your Being that contains a multitude of universes, is your very experience…, in this moment.

[Silence]

Consciousness is reminding Itself: How it would be to live

…without boundaries?

…without notions?

…without position?

…without judgment?

…without resistance?

…as natural, effortless openness, which is your very nature?

298

These Were Crutches That You Never Needed

In the beautiful Indian scripture, the Yoga Vasistha, there is a story of this mythical creature who is always suffering because this mythical creature has one thousand hands and each of these hands has a weapon with which it is hitting itself.

You know what is this mythical creature? It is your own mind with a thousand concepts.

As you are dropping each of these, you are finding that you’re running out of ways to suffer.

Now, maybe the creature also believed that these concepts are helping it. ‘How will I live without my hands?’

So, my invitation for you is to try it out. See if it is possible to live notion-less-ly.

You might realize that these were crutches that you never needed; that life was much greater than your idea about it.

And even if the notion is ‘I can’t do it’ or ‘I have done it’ …, even these you give up.

If the notion is ‘I don’t want to go that far’ …, forget about it!

If the notion is ‘I don’t want to end up like some crazy sadhu on the streets of Tiruvannamalai’ …, forget about it.

And I promise you that the taste of this life, unmixed with your concepts, is much greater, is much more universal, than the taste of this life which you are trying to contain with your ideas about it; which you are trying to control.

In any case, how is that control thing working out?

299

A Potent Verse of Adi Shankaracharya

I read this beautiful verse from Adi Shankaracharya, which I found was just a verse but it contains most of what we speak about in Satsang. That is the beauty of these great Sages.

He says, “Now, I shall tell you the nature of this Absolute witness.”

And it is pure grace that we get to even hear these words; maybe centuries down from when the body of Shankara lived. His words still have that power. We are blessed to have this grace in our lives where we can hear the Satguru in this form. So, the Satguru is now telling us the nature of this Absolute witness. Even before we get into the description of this, we can check this for ourselves. Isn’t this the same thing that Ashtavakra was saying? ‘You are the one solitary witness of all there is.’

Then Shankara says, “If you recognize it, you will be free from the bonds of ignorance and attain liberation.”

So beautiful, isn’t it? Just by the recognizing of it, you let go of the bonds of ignorance and come to the end of suffering and find that which you are seeking; attain liberation. Therefore, it must tell you that it is just a question of recognition. It is just a misunderstanding. It is not something to be done. It is just something that you have considered yourself to be. And now you’re coming to the recognition of it and then the false consideration will go away. And this itself is freedom. So, it is not a physical movement that needs to happen.

If you considered yourself to be a cat, but you were reminded and you were shown and you came to the recognition yourself that you are not a cat, then you are free from all the problems of the cat, aren’t you? They do not apply anymore. So, as you are recognizing the Truth, you will be freed from the bonds of ignorance and attain liberation.

Then he says, “There is a Self-Existent Reality which is the basis of our consciousness of ego.”

There is a Self-Existent Reality which forms the basis of our notion ‘I am something. I am limited. I am my name. I am my form.’

What is That which is Self-Existent? What a beautiful term. What exists by itself? Does your identity exist by itself? Can you pose as if you are a person without picking up a notion about yourself? You can’t even pick up any trouble, any problem, without picking up an idea. So, all of this is dependent on beliefs and ideas that you have about yourself.

Now. You are Existent Now. You are Being. You are Existing. What effort are you making to Exist? What is holding this Existence up? Hum? Are you forcing it up? It is just Here. You Exist.

300

This Existence is the basis of all that then comes and goes. This is the substratum for all that moves in this world.

Now, what has happened is we have attached ourselves to that which is coming and going. All the things that you call ‘mine’ …, out of all of them, how many are not going to come and go? Everything that you say is mine, how much of that will stay forever; is eternal? Nothing. So, then this ‘mine’ itself is going to be the cause of so much suffering because you’re attached to something which is going to be going anyway. To say that anything that is in this phenomenal world is ‘mine’ is like attaching yourself to a drunken donkey or something…, because you know it is going to go away. So, in this play of ‘me’ and ‘mine’ we have forgotten the basis of all of this. What is my Own Existence?

Then, the Sage says, “That Reality is the witness of the states of ego consciousness and of the body. That Reality is the constant witness of all the three states of consciousness; waking, dreaming and dreamless sleep. It is Your Real Self.”

What a potent pointer, again, isn’t it? The same as Ashtavakra also shared. What is That which continues even in your dreamless sleep? And here, you cannot presume anything. You have to speak from your very experience. In this waking state, we have one body. There might be a dream state where it seems like you have another body. In the dreamless sleep, which body is there? What witnesses this state of dreamless sleep, where there is nothing at all phenomenal; and yet, you had the experience of sleep?

That which is untouched by the coming and going of any of these states: That You Are.

And if You are That, then what can come in this waking state that can, in Reality, harm You, hurt You? You have remained the unchanging; irrespective of what states have come and gone.

This is Your unchanging Reality.

So, then Shankara says, “It is your Real Self. That Reality pervades the universe. It alone shines. The universe shines with Its reflected light.”

The reflected light of YourSelf. That’s why Ashtavakra said ‘You are that shoreless ocean in which the arcs of the universe come and go.’ You are the basis of them. You are not an object in this universe. If you have to create a relationship, it is more accurate to say that the universe is an object in You.

[Shankara says] “It’s essence is timeless Awareness. It Knows all things, witnesses all things; from the ego to the body. It is the witness of pleasure and pain and the sense objects. This is Your Real Self; the Supreme Being, the ancient. It never ceases to experience infinite release. It is unwavering. It is Spirit Itself.”