Your Notionless Existence

Book Description

This book is a compilation of a series of Satsang talks from 1st January through 23rd February, 2018. “Look at truly what your starting point already is. Once you See that in the beginning itself You are All-There-Is, then what to do with this idea of getting something? These are the gifts of our notionless Existence. As we don’t create a notional, conceptual boundary about ourselves, as we include all sensations and perceptions in our own Being, we See that ‘I witness all of this. There is only One without another and This is MySelf.’ This is Your starting point already. This is the best news.”

Satsang with Ananta

High above the noise and pollution of Bangalore traffic on Old Airport Road, Beings from all corners of the world gather on the top floor of a multi story building. Flowers are placed where Anantaji’s feet will be and on the altar with photos of His Master, Sri Moojiji. Incense is lit, water is poured, and the Sangha sit quietly waiting for Anantaji, or Father as most of the Sangha lovingly call Him, to enter the room. When Anantaji joins the room, the Sangha stand in reverence and respect until their Father is seated. Ananta opens His mac laptop, connects to google hangout where there are many more Sangha all around the world waiting to join in live. And Satsang begins with “Namaste everyone, a very warm welcome to satsang today, Satguru Moojiji ki Jai.”

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About Ananta

Ananta gives Satsang with the blessings of his Master, Sri Mooji. He lives in Bangalore, India with his wife, son and daughter. He offers Satsang in Bangalore and online. See website and/or Facebook for the many YouTube videos of online Satsangs, the other Ananta books, Satsang transcripts, audio recordings and general information. The Satsang schedule is usually pinned to the top of the Facebook pages.

Satsang with Ananta YouTube channel is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmc83jyrwpCNBT2xywXVoLg/feed

Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/satsangwithananta

Sangha Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghabeing/

Website: www.anantasatsang.org

This is the 12th book of Ananta Satsang excerpts (not including the paperback/kindle book available on Amazon). These simple pointings, contemplations, guided inquiries and interactions with sangha are full of Ananta’s direct insights, love and laughter. Taken from online Satsangs 1st January to 23rd February 2018, typed by the seva transcripts team (Tejas, Dhruva, Jyotima, Aarin, Aparna, Prarthana, Omkar, Jyotika, Sweta and Amaya) and made possible by Nitya (who created ‘highlight videos’ of these most poignant talks) and by the A/V team in Satsang hall. Thanks to Tejas in the checking at completion and to Krishna for the cover and website uploads. This book has been compiled and edited by Amaya, keeping Ananta’s words as they were delivered (with minimal edits) so that his voice is heard as we read. Much gratitude to those who made this book possible.

In deepest love and gratitude to Anantaji (affectionately called ‘Father’ by some, which seemed to just happen on its own) this book is an offering to all who seek Truth, Self-Realization, Freedom from suffering or who simply enjoy Being in the Presence of a True Master.

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This Is the Essence of Satsang

As usual, I have some very good news for all of you. [Smiles]

The good news today is that: You Are the Self.

[Smiles]

You Are the Self.

Now, why is this good news? [Smiles] What’s so cool about this? What’s so cool about Being the Self? What’s the big deal? The big deal is that Your greater Reality is beyond time and space. Now, this is a very big deal. And to recognize this is what Satsang is for.

Because so far in our life, we have identified ourselves with something which is contained in time and space. All our reports about ourself have been about an object which is within these four dimensions. But You Are the Self…, which means that wherever you might be and whatever time it might be, I can say this to you and it is the Truth. That is why I do not have to pick and choose a time and I don’t have to pick and choose a place; I don’t have to pick and choose your circumstances; don’t have to pick and choose your relationships and the status of them; don’t have to worry about your monetary status because all these things are in the realm of time and space. You Are That which is beyond time and space. You Are the Self.

Now, there can be some confusion about this. [Chuckles] And if you give it to the mind anyway everything becomes confusing. But one of the confusions about this can be ‘So, if I am the eternal one, then what was I doing before I created the world? And what will I do after the world is gone.’ [Chuckles] Because our eternity, it can seem like ‘Oh, that is a very long time.’ It can seem like I have just been sitting around for a long time, millions of years. And then I create this world. And then I dissolve this world. And then again I am sitting around for millions of years.’ But this is confusion. This is a mistaken notion of Eternity. Eternity means That which is beyond time. It is not an infinitely long time. Eternity means that [Closes eyes] in Your light, time and space, they appear. And by Your will, they disappear. By the will of Consciousness Itself, by the will of the Self. So, to ask what the Self is doing when it is not playing with the world is a mistaken notion because that ‘when’ does not exist. There is no time there.

Now, what’s the cool thing about this? [Smiles] The cool thing about this is that YourSelf, Right Now, is not subject to time. Only that which is appearing in Its light (this realm of appearances, this content) is subject to time. It is not that Your Being is getting any older; It is just independent of it. And this is a very important clue. This content is moving around in time and space, but You are independent of these…, Your very Existence Right Now. And You cannot stop Being. This Being is already beyond time and space. So, allow that which is moving in time and space to move. Allow this dance to happen as it will. But recognize Your greater Reality which is Effortlessly present.

Recognize this: You are Here. God is Here. Self is Here. Satguru is Here. But this Here is not a ‘here’ contained in time or space. It is That which contains all things.

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Now, it is some kind of magic that this Being, this Self, which is beyond time and space, plays as if, pretends as if, It is just a mere person so limited in time and in space. But this is never True about You. So, all that we are recognizing is that which is already True about You. And if there are 7 billion conversations which are happening in this so-called world right now, 6.9999 billion conversations must be about You as a limited entity. And it is a very rare conversation which is inviting the recognition of Your unlimitedness. And this conversation is called Satsang: the company of the Truth.

I have some more excellent news for you, which is that as you remain empty of interpretations and judgments, empty of concept, the recognition of Your True Self is inherently present. The Truth is apparent to You. So, you don’t have to struggle with this recognition, you don’t even have to struggle with making it stable; it just Is. All that can ‘seem to happen’ …

Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had this beautiful example, where one day he was sitting with his devotees, and using a tiny finger, he covered his eye. And a devotee said ‘What are you doing?’ [Chuckles] Bhagavan said ‘Just like when we use this tiny finger, it can seem to prevent our seeing the entire universe. In the same way, a tiny concept, a tiny notion about ourself, can seem to obscure the greater Reality of what We Are: the timeless, changeless Self. And this is completely apparent to You, Right Now. Meet YourSelf Now and You will See that it is True.

All limitations, all boundaries, all duration are just notional constructs for You. They have no Reality. So, if you want to meet the most enlightened Being you will ever meet, you want to have the darshan of that which is Krishna Himself, meet YourSelf without judgments till the notion of meeting itself dissolves. All interpretation, all judgment, is about something which is in time and space. Let this realm of time and space move on its own. Let this dance of Shiva (for Himself) entertain You. But Now, You are done with the idea that You are contained within this dance.

That is ignorance. And as you are shinning the light of your own Self Knowledge: all this ignorance is dissolving; the ignorance that ‘I am a limited something; a mere object in time and space.’

However, what I have said true about You Right Now: You are the self.

You were never born, will never die.

Time will change nothing about You.

You can never lose YourSelf, leave YourSelf.

Therefore, you can never find YourSelf.

Only You can recognize what already has been.

The terminology you use, whether you call it God, Guru or Self, doesn’t really matter. These are just words, concepts, to point to that which is indescribable.

Now, the mind will come and say ‘But what does all of this mean for the body/mind which is located in time and space?’ And my advice about this is to forget about it. Because if I say that

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nothing has to change, then the mind will come and say ‘But the Sage looks and appears different.’ And if I say that ‘Your very Presence will convey so much love, light and peace.’ then the mind will say that ‘This has to happen first.’ It becomes an expectation. So, as you are recognizing YourSelf to be That (Your greater Reality to be That) which is beyond time and space, then everything which is in time and space will take care of itself; and that especially includes this body/mind.

Don’t wait to find symptoms of freedom in this appearance to mean something for You. You See what you are already. And don’t allow any symptoms which seem to convey that you are not free. Don’t make a judgment about yourself based on these. For some time, just let it be. Leave the world alone, leave the body alone. It doesn’t need any intervention from an imagined entity. And as you are discovering YourSelf to be this Self, You will See that all is shining in Your own light anyway.

All of spirituality is just about how to leave it alone. Bhagavan has prescribed two main paths to discover the pathless reality. What are the two main paths? They are surrender and Self -inquiry.

When the invitation comes from the mind to make something into nothing, you heard from the Sages to ‘Just leave it alone.’ But the keeps inviting you and saying ‘No, no, this is a thing for you.’ And the problem is not the ‘thing’ in itself but the presumption that there is a limited you who has to take care of that thing. So, whatever the mind’s invitation might be, surrender it to that Higher Force for which you feel a little bit of devotion to, at least a little bit of devotion, and say it is the ‘Satguru’s problem, Guruji’s problem, God’s problem, Father’s problem.’ You don’t have to make anything something, because everything belongs to the Satguru now. This is the path of surrender, letting go; what I call ‘Remaining at my Father’s feet.’ (But you can pick whatever metaphor seems most apt to you.) Very simply, you are not making a thing out of anything. Nothing is a thing. You know what I mean, no? [Smiles]

The second is the path of self-inquiry, which means that when this invitation comes from the mind to make something out of nothing, to convince you of something…, to convince you of your own something-ness actually, then you use that for your Self-inquiry.

So, for example, if the mind is saying ‘I am not free yet’ (which is a very popular notion) it is convincing you that you are a limited entity who needs to get something…, which is completely opposed to your own Self-recognition that You are beyond All There Is. So, if it says that ‘I am not free yet’ then you enquire and say ‘Who is the ‘I’ that is not free?’ When the thought comes with some answer, you ask ‘Who witnesses even this?’ If there are some emotions, then you look with a wonder and say ‘What witnesses even these?’ As naturally as possible, as playfully as possible, we look for the reality of ‘I’. This is the path of Self-inquiry.

And it doesn’t have to be surrender or self-inquiry. It doesn’t have to be bhakti [Devotion] or gyan [Knowledge]. It doesn’t have to be devotion or knowledge. In fact, with one, the seeming- second automatically arises. So, whatever feels more natural to you is completely fine.

This is the essence of Satsang.

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Who Is Experiencing This Flow of Time?

Namaste everyone. Very warm welcome to satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba ki Jai!

Wishing all of you a wonderful, wonderful New Year. May this year be the most auspicious, filled with Guruji’s grace and blessings in your lives, for your families, your friends and the entire world.

I am quite a one-track. [Chuckles] Even in the greeting ‘Happy New Year’ I find a satsang clue. So, if the year is new, who is it new for? A new year is here now, and a new year was here last year also, and a new year was here the year before that, and before that also, and before that also. Before it was not. But there comes a point where there is no experience of a ‘new year’. The one who had these ‘New Year’ experiences over these years, is which one?

[Someone says]: The ‘I/me’ one.

[Chuckles] So, if a year is a measure of time, and time seems to present these new possibilities for us at regular intervals, then you who are tasting this flow of time, are you subject to this time? If it is a year that rejuvenates and it is a ‘new year’ which comes for you, a ‘new day’ which comes for you, a ‘new minute’ which comes to you, a ‘new second’ which comes for you…, is the ‘you’ for whom it comes subject to it?

And on the other hand, if You were not here, would there be this next minute? Next moment? New Year? Only in imagination. Even for imagination, You have to be there. You are the actually the substratum.

So, this is another one of the mind’s convictions, which will say that ‘you’ are the one that is subject to time. Actually, You are the subject of time. Time is the object for You.

So, this wonderful New Year appearance is appearing for all of you and I hope you have the most joyful, blissful time in this New Year. And of course, as with every year, it will be mixed with some sugar and spice. [Chuckles] So, don’t expect it to be only a certain way. Know that in this world of duality, all the ups and downs will come. But more and more you are starting to See that You are not oppressed by time, You are not controlled by time. Even for time to exist, You must Be. If there was no such thing as time, then for one thing, we would not have to (or get to) wish each other Happy New Year. [Chuckles] But also You would experience YourSelf in your entirety; in just THIS moment.

Your dynamic aspect also is being stretched out (seemingly) over that which we call time, but actually nothing is moving. It is all already Here. We are just visiting it with our attention, and the movement of this attention leads to what we call this time and space. What is the screen on which all of this IS? You might feel like it is outside you, because you might believe that you are this body, and the world (where all this is happening) is outside of you. But actually, you are just experiencing all of this on the screen of Your own Being. That is why, whether you call it internal perceptions or outer perceptions, there is only one space in which You are perceiving them.

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That is the Beauty of This

As you Exist, on this Existence all these perceptions are being perceived, isn’t it? Whether eyes are open like this, so this visual stimulus is there…, or eyes are closed, where other stimuli can come (thoughts, imagination, memory). All of this is dependent on what?

[Someone says]: Being, Existence.

Yes, on Your Being, on Your existence. It’s a beautiful example that Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] shared I think: ‘In which light is this world in front of you now? In whose light is it?’

What is shining Right Now?

What is that light, without which nothing IS?

Is it this physical light, without which nothing IS?

Where is that light coming form?

In the light of which even the Sun is seen.

The Sun is perceived in whose light?

This is the glory of You, that Your Being, Your Atman, is the light of this Universe. But this very same Atman is also given Itself the power believe that It is just some minor object, subject to time, limited in space.

These is the only misunderstanding. And if we can clear it up on the first day, it’s fine. Your Presence has been taken as something personal by Presence itself and now it is ridding Itself of this misunderstanding though this play of Satsang. Nothing has actually ever become limited or divided or separate. Therefore, nothing has to be fixed actually. Only this misunderstanding has to be looked at. And once you clarify the truth for yourself, it’s thrown away.

I was saying the other day (some of you, it’s your first time) if you believe that you are in Kormagala and I say ‘No, you are in Mrugeshpalya’ would I have to move you from Kormagala to Murugeshpalya? You are already here in Murugeshpalya. So, only the misunderstanding has to be thrown away. Only the idea of Kormangala has to be given up. What do we give up? Not to replace the beliefs that ‘I’m in that place’ with another belief that ‘I’m in this place’ …, but actually checking where you are.

So, you considered YourSelf to be limited and now I’m pointing out you that You are not. All you have to do is check and stay with whatever you find. So, the pointers in Satsang are for that; not to bring you to a new state. This can be one misunderstanding: ‘Why can’t I hold on to a state?’ Sometimes I get questions like that; that ‘I have glimpses of it, but why can’t I hold on to it?’ Because it is not about that. See, all states can come and go. What is the substratum for those states? Can any state exist without You?

This ‘You’ has been misunderstood as something personal. That’s why no practice is really needed, no movement is really needed and no practice or movement can get in the way also. Whatever might be happening in this world can keep happening. But when you really want to check who you are, nothing can really get in the way. That is the beauty of this.

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Are You Willing to Let Go of this ‘Person’ Notion?

If you are convinced that you are in Kormangala [A location in Bangalore] then you’ll continue to play as if that is true. So, if your belief is that ‘I’m a body/mind, I’m limited entity’ then you might continue to play that way. Nothing can get in your way.

So, usually what happens is there must be some openness to drop the false belief.

Many times it can happen (even for those who come to Satsang, it can happen) that it is just some sort of reinforcement. They want a reinforcement of a false belief. Are we taking this Kormangala example too far? No, I still feel it’s of a little use.

So, you might say that ‘Okay, just tell me how to be happy. Don’t try to drag me off or bring me to Murugeshpaly. [A location in Bangalore] I just want to be happy in Kormangala.’ [Smiles]

And I’m saying ‘Did you have this misconception?’ It’s not going to be the end of suffering because a lie just pinches you. There is bound to be a poking sensation in the play of this world as long as you believe in a lie about yourself. That is the design of this play.

That’s why I was saying to somebody else other day that mostly we become open to Satsang because we have suffered in life. We have seen that all our belief system somewhere is not brining us to that contentment, that peace that we are looking for. So, many times when you come to Satsang with the openness to drop the idea (the Koramangala idea) even to say ‘I don’t know where I am’ for me that’s enough. But if you want for something for that one is seemingly- sitting in the other place, how can anybody help?

So, now you can replace ‘Koramangala’ with the basic notion ‘I am something, I am a person.’

How many of us are willing to let go of this notion? That is openness.

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If You’re Looking, the Truth is Inescapable

If you want freedom personally, then I can tell you that there is no such thing. Personal freedom actually is the mind’s version of freedom. ‘I should have the freedom to do whatever I think. I should have the freedom. If I think of a million dollars, I should have it; if I think I should have the best relationship, I should have it; if I think I should have the healthiest body, I should have it.’ This is the mind’s version of freedom. What is the Truth’s version of freedom?

[Someone in the Sangha replies]: What Is.

A: What Is. Just ‘What Is’. This is your freedom, already.

The appearance of this world is in Your light. So, separation is nothing but resisting ‘What Is’. Can you suffer without resisting ‘What Is’? Possible? [Chuckles] It is not possible (unless we have an idea ‘That the people in my family should be this way. But why are they that way?’) You cannot suffer because of that.

‘What Is’ just Is. They are how the are. But to have an expectation ‘It must be some other way’ is how we separate. All these interpretations are a way to avoid ‘What Is’…, to resist ‘What Is’.

Now, some are suffering because of interpretation of worldly appearance, some are suffering because of some idea of career or money; some are suffering because some emotions are being experienced. But even with [our friend here] …, if he is experiencing fear, he is hardly ever saying that ‘The fear right now is too much’. But the interpretation from the mind is coming and saying ‘But what if it doesn’t go away in the future?’

Nothing in your present experience is ever too much, because it is just a reflection of Your own light. And Your light is always stronger than the reflection. But it can start seeming like too much when we believe our notions about them.

I was joking with someone the other day, saying ‘If it’s too much, even in the design of this play, you will lose Consciousness.’

Then, if ‘What Is’ is already true, and You are the light of this Presence which contains all of this, then what would you want next?

[Silence]

Can you want something without first picking up the idea that ‘I am something limited’?

[Silence]

Are the mind’s offers coming for God? Let’s at least clarify that. So, whatever I’ve said, I said in a very long way that ‘You are God’. [Chuckles] Basically, that’s what I am saying. Now when the mind is offering or doubting, is it offering or doubting for God? Or is it offering and doubting for a limited version of you?

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[Silence]

And does your direct experience resonate more with what I am saying than what the mind is saying?

Are you thinking about it? [Chuckles] Then I know I am in trouble. If you are looking, then I know that the Truth is inescapable. [Silence]

Now, I am saying that You are the super magnificent, super luminous, glorious Consciousness Itself.

Why would you want to become a special enlightened person or something? [Chuckles] What You already Are is all that what you will ever be. And it is all there is actually. [Silence]

Not one inch you have to move, not one instruction you have to follow, not even a pointing is needed.

Nothing at all…, to Be. [Silence]

This Being. [Silence]

This Being is playing the game of being misunderstood, by Itself.

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If You Must Be Something, Just Be Space

The feeling is that it’s a very, very useful pointer; that if you really must be something, then be space. (Another way of saying what I have been saying for quite some time: Just be open.) Just be space. Allow everything to come and go. What is space? Is space objecting to any object coming into this room or not coming? Is space wanting to do something about what is appearing or not appearing? It is just space. All things can come and go. All actions of this body also can come and go. Note that I am not saying that the body has to become the space. Sometimes the identification so deeply ingrained [Raises hand and makes a fist] that when I am saying ‘Be space’ you are trying to make the body like space. [Expands both arms suggesting to becoming like space] [Chuckles] I am not saying this. The body is also present, appearing in space, and it can do whatever it likes. You are the space in which all of this is appearing. You cannot resist as space. That’s a beautiful quality of space.

Actually, to be like this space, or to see that we have this spaciousness within us, is truly what it means to go on a silent retreat. It’s not so much about this outward silence but this inward, non- resistive-ness.

How many of you feel that ‘When he says: Be space’ that it is some strange sort of instruction, like ‘There is no space I can be.’ If you don’t feel that, then this pointing could be very helpful. Then you will find that even this space is notional, and that You are No-thing. You are not nothing, but You are No-thing.

For me, it sounds like a very simple pointer to what I am pointing to. Just allow everything to just be. Just let it be. No need for any judgment. But if judgment is coming, let that also come. Let it be. You don’t have to meddle with anything at all. Just let it be. [Silence]

Maybe this year, instead of saying ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ I’ll say ‘Don’t meddle with anything at all.’ [Chuckles] You don’t have to fix anything, don’t have to make anything better, don’t have to get anywhere; nothing to do. [Silence] You don’t even have to ‘Just be’. Because you can take on the task ‘I am just going to be’. [Chuckles] But you are not ‘doing’ the Being. Are you doing the Being? That would mean you could not do it. If you are not doing the Being, does Being fall apart? Stop Being. [Someone answers ‘Being is just Being’] Yes. Being is just being; naturally in its own, self-energizing way. And if the Being doesn’t want to be anymore, there is nothing you can do to hold it up. [Laughter] But You will witness even that.

After You Be, after You Exist, do you have to switch on the world? It comes on its own, no? Do you have to switch on the movements of the world? It also moving. Is this body separate from the world? This also moves on its own. The heart beats on its own? Or you have to switch it on? Breathing happens. Everything is happening naturally, on its own. Effortlessly this world is moving . Effortlessly You are existing and effortlessly You are aware of this Existence. All your doership was made-up.

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What is It That I Truly Am?

This shadow is behind me. Actually, if I was to try and fix something for ‘the person’ it would be like trying to change something for the shadow. You cannot grasp this person. This entity that we believe ourself to be is so elusive. Trying to grasp at this person is like trying to say ‘Can you just move this shadow? Bring in front of me so I can fix it?’ It doesn’t work that way. Find out if you are this shadowy entity…, or if You are something beyond this.

All the clues in Satsang, all that we speak in Satsang, is for us to come to this recognition: What is it that I truly Am?

Now, the mind will use the shadow as a benchmark about you. If you have believed that when you are free there will be a halo around the shadow, then you will keep waiting for that. If you have believed that the shadow becomes full of light, then you keep waiting for that. If you are waiting for anything objective to change, then know that this is not what is being pointed to here.

The world of objects, including this body, can play out how it wants. I am talking about You. The You that is so spacious that it contains all of this and yet does not run out of space. Even if you are imagining this, even this imagination is contained in You. Nothing is excluded; everything is included. And this is actually how it has always been. You have always been the ocean and the waves of appearances have always come and gone.

That is why I say: Don’t make a reference point about yourself. Where does that leave you? Don’t refer to yourself as anything at all. What are you now? Take no position.

Right Now, You Are Free.

The Truth is always true about You. The false is coming and going.

This is direct. You see? What is most direct is without direction. But we have got so used to the indirect, that it seems like we might need some direction. But I will tell you that all directions to the Self will point you to exactly where you are right Now. All directions to the Self will point you to This that You Are.

So, then I can give you directions. Take one step to the left and one step to the right and you will reach your destination. Take one step forward and one step backward and you will find your Self. But if that is what it takes to extinguish our doer-ship, then we might as well do this dance of back and forth and left and right. But the Truth is that wherever you may go you will only find YourSelf.

That is why, often in the last year we have been laughing at this concept of ‘Looking for the Self.’ This is the funniest thing, no? Because if I say ‘Have you lost it? Can you not be yourself for a moment?’…, you see that it is not possible. Just don’t be yourself! Just don’t exist for a moment. Don’t be Aware of your Existence for a moment. [Chuckles]

Is this Awareness coming and going?

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What is Real About You?

What is Real about you?

Is there something about you which is not an object?

Is there something about you which is not just a perception?

Or are you only a bundle of perceptions or set of sensations?

This is Inquiry.

So, one set of perceptions, sensations, they are called ‘The World’.

Let these perceptions be as they are.

Another set of sensations, perceptions we have called ‘The body’.

Let these sensations be as they are.

Let these sensations be as they are.

Another set of sensations we have called ‘Emotions’.

Let them also be.

Don’t meddle with anything at all.

Another group of sensations are called ‘Thoughts’.

Allow them to come and go. Just let them are.

Don’t try to control anything about anything.

This is what I mean by: Your notionless Existence, concept-less Being.

Now the merchant of positions will come and say ‘But this set of sensations you have to do something about! These appearances, you can’t just let them be.’ And in that story, you believe yourself to be a limited entity. You believe yourself to be the body, the mind. You exclude, divide and separate. The oneness which is so natural seems to get pushed to the background and we believe ourselves to be something limited.

And that is the reminder we have in Satsang: Let the world be as it is.

Let the body be as it is, including the actions and non-actions of the body.

I’m not talking about the state of the body. The body can be active or inactive. Just let it be. Just like the waves of the Ocean can be tumultuous or placid. The Ocean is not doing it. ‘Let the body be’ doesn’t mean that it has to be like a vegetable. All actions, reactions and non-actions can come in the body. Just like all thoughts, with all various qualities, can come and go. Just like most of you see that you are not trying to improve the quality of thoughts anymore. Some of you might still be trying to change the quality of your emotions, but that ‘trying to control’ itself seems to make them oppressive.

Let everything be.

What is the past now, except another group of perceptions and sensations? What is the future? Just another set of projections.

But you remain untouched, like space.

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Pointers Are Needed Only to Demolish Beliefs

No pointers are actually needed except those which help you demolish whatever you might be believing about yourself.

Maybe it was a Zen Master who said ‘Dharma is only that which helps you forget all that you know about Dharma.’

I meet many of you who come burdened with notions of guilt about how you’re not being true to yourself, true to the path.

It’s better if you forget about these ideas…, because nobody can actually be true to the path or become true to the path.

There is no path. There is no ‘way’.

To recognize this is the path, is the way.

All that burdens you, keep it aside.

Your Existence is indepent of any notion of existence; of any path or way of existence.

You are That space in which all ways and paths have come and gone.

You’re done with all of it now.

Everything has brought you to this moment.

Here it is as it has always been.

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What If This Phenomenal Play is a Shadow?

What if, in truth, this phenomenal play is actually a play of this shadow behind me? It seems so vibrant and real and strong. But what if this No-thing is the greater truth, the Source of even this shadow?

Who is willing to look along with me?

Who is willing to explore the Source of this shadow?

Who is willing to go beyond the veil of ‘I Am’?

Beyond the veil of Your very Existence lies That which is beyond ‘I Am’…, before ‘I Am’.

With no benefit …, with no promises of how the shadow will change:

Who are you?

Who is the ‘I’ that is existing as ‘I Am’?

[Long Silence]

What if you discovered that to find this truth, all you have to do is stop playing with the false? Then you will see that it has always been here.

If you don’t imagine, can you tell me what is the basis of all things Right Now?

What is That which exists, without which nothing would exist…, in your direct experience? What came into existence…, and all things came?

[Long Silence]

Notice how the mind will try to use any perception to convince you of separation.

Your noticing of it is the dropping of it. Nothing needs to be fixed, beyond that.

‘I notice that the mind is not speaking the truth about Me…, and now there is no need to fix it. Just to See this is enough. It can keep doing whatever it wants. I notice that this body is not my boundary. In fact, this universe is not my boundary, so I don’t need to fix it, change it. I notice that these emotions do not define Me. Just more waves on the surface of What-I-Am. And because they don’t define Me, I no longer want to make them less salty or more salty. They are what they are.’

Now, I’m left with nothing to do …, just because I noticed all of this. [Smiles]

22

You Are Free From It: It Is Done

You are the Self.

End of Satsang. [Smiles]

Actually, Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said that if I just tell you that you are the Self and you see this about yourself, you have the intuitive insight ‘I am the Self, the unchanging, the pure Witnessing Principle Itself, the One that has no limitation, no border, no boundary’ …, then no instruction you need now, because You Are the Self.

The instructions are needed when you start to believe that you are ‘something’. And when we say ‘I am something’ we’re not referring that something to as the unlimited, unchanging, Absolute. It is an idea about ourself …, ‘I am the body, I was born, I will die, I have family, I have money; I have so many things that are mine.’ All this becomes the basis for the notion that ‘I am something’. And all that these Sages are ever saying is giving you ways to get rid of this ‘something’ notion; the identity of ‘something-ness’.

My Master [Sri Mooji] invites us to taste the Is-ness of the Self, which is beyond all phenomena. The Is-ness. The Is-ness is not ‘something’. Bhagavan said ‘Inquire: Who am I?’ And he said if you start the inquiry expecting to find something, then you will be frustrated. Then you will not find some ‘thing’ there. The Self is not a thing.

So, I also mentioned [Nisargadatta] Maharaj. Maharaj said ‘Stay with the sense I Am.’

He didn’t say that stay with these sense that I am ‘something’. He said ‘Stay with the sense ‘I Am’ and that itself will become the gateway, the portal, to the true I.’

So, these pointers are available to us. You can accept the invitation to see our Self as we truly are. We can inquire in to the Reality of Self.

Another beautiful way (if you can call it that) is to surrender. All the something’s you give to the Satguru, to God. ‘I just Am.’ So, I was saying ‘Just be’. And all that is required to ‘Be’ is Guru’s problem, God’s problem. Then we remain empty of the notion ‘I am something’.

Now, the biggest, best news (and one day you will react like you won the lottery; I hope one day it will come like this. [Chuckles] Mostly I just get a poker face response) the biggest, best news is that you don’t have to even drop this ‘something’. You don’t even have to drop ‘something’. Even that is done for you, by grace.

In This moment, You are egoless.

If you are not believing me, if you believe that ‘I am not. I have an ego.’ [Smiles] then actually you picked up a ‘something’. What I’m saying doesn’t need belief. You are egoless right now, in this moment. There is no ego. You cannot define boundary for YourSelf.

What is ego? Just the idea, the limited notion, I have about myself.

But you’re free from it. It is done.

23

It was never undone actually.

Happy? Or no? [Smiles] All that you’ve been working hard to do is already done. There’s is no greater lottery you can win.

It’s all done. You Are the Self.

I’m not saying that ‘You Are the Self if you come for hundred Satsangs.’

You Are the Self because only the Self IS.

This ‘Is-ness’ is a very beautiful word; which not many of us have truly explored actually. Because we’ve used it many ways. We can say the table is, the hand is, the computer is…

But what does it mean to exist?

What is ‘IS’?

What is it that never is not?

It is You. You always Are.

These bodies will come and go. All these experiences are unique. You’ll experience that Consciousness doesn’t like redundancy at all. This very same experience, in this exact quality, you will never experience ever again. Perceptions will be different; the sensations will be different. So, all that plays the game of being born and dying, the Sages have said is not the ultimate Truth about You.

What is That which never is not?

Even to say that ‘it doesn’t exist’ would mean that it has to be there to be aware of it’s non- existence.

What is this?

That beautiful No-thing, You Are.

24

In This Moment, You Are Empty of All Notions

Now, if in this moment itself, you are empty of all notions about yourself, then what work do you have to do?

Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had this beautiful example of boarding the train. We are boarding the train to Tiruvannamli. Do you doubt every one minute, saying am ‘I going in the right direction? Am I getting there? What’s happening?’ No. You trust the conductor of the train, the driver of the train, and you know you will get there. But we can use a more contemporary example. Just like you are flying to Portugal or something; then do you want to get on top of the plane and run, believing that you will get there faster? [Smiles]

What can be faster than Right Now?

What can you do (which you can do Right Now) before the next moment is tasted?

So, if in this experience of the Now, you are already notionless, what do you need to become free? That’s why Bhagavan said that ‘You are the Self’ not that you will become the Self.

And then all the prescriptions after that are about what to do with the belief that ‘I’m not the Self…, I am something.’ All that is prescribed in Satsang is also is just for that. You might get the idea that it is to make something out of you; to make you an enlightened person or something like this. But it is not.

That is why all these ideas of ‘How will get there? When will I get there? How come this one is getting there? This is just their third Satsang and they got it. I’m not getting it. I have been to so many.’ …, it’s all fiction. Because the idea is only to get rid of the ‘something’ notion; even the idea of getting something.

In our neutrality, in our emptiness, if the Truth was not there, then there would be no Truth.

25

Nothing is Greater Than Your Natural Existence

If truth needed a thought to be true, then that would be useless truth. Now what exists without any concepts? If you didn’t have the concept ‘man, woman, husband, wife, parent, employee, manager, business owner’…? All these are concepts. Even the body is a concept, actually; a set of sensations that are experienced. You have labeled a similar set of sensations and called it ‘body’. But suppose you didn’t have a concept of ‘body’ and you didn’t have a concept of ‘world’…, did you stop existing?

Concept-less-ly, Your Existence is Here, isn’t it?

So, this Existence is All There Is. The greatest con has been Consciousness believing Itself to be something limited. This Existence has been confused, has been (in the Leela) played as if it’s the existence of somebody personal. That ‘person’ is not here; it has never been, except as a belief system.

And you are tired now. You are tired because it is effort to believe yourself to be ‘something’. And I’m happy if you are completely tired. (Otherwise, you tire me, you see?) [Smiles] So, if you are completely tired, I’m very happy because you played with all the notions now. You’ve tried this way, that way; all the positions you’ve tried. And you come to me completely tired and say ‘No, I have tried everything. It doesn’t work.’ This is music to my ears. [Smiles] ‘I’ve tried to be humble, I’ve tried to be special; I have tried to be a devotee, I have tried to be an enlightened one.’ You have tried all these positions and none of it works. If you say these things I’m very happy. But if you are still like ‘I have been a devotee, when will I become enlightened?’ or ‘I have been humble, when will I become special?’ then you mean that you are still yearning for some other positions to see if they work personally.

But if you See, and if you also learn from the experience of so-called others, then quickly you will come this realization that no personal position works. No matter how glorious that ‘something’ might be, after you attach it to ‘I Am’ it can’t meet the glory of ‘I Am’ Itself. Nothing is greater than Your natural Existence. This is all that You will ever be.

Shankara said that ‘The root of all trouble is ignorance. What is this ignorance? Just this…, ‘I am something.’

So, in which way will you let ‘I am’ be ‘I Am’? A simpler way to put it is: In which way will you leave ‘I Am’ to just Be? Leave it alone, unmolested by any notion you have about yourself. Who is willing to try this for a few days? Or a few minutes? [Smiles]

Truth is Here,

Existence is Here;

Consciousness, Sat and Chit.

(Don’t worry about ananda; don’t worry about bliss.)

26

Where to Look for the Self? In the Now

There’s nothing that you have to do to become That, because You Are That.

That’s why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘First, clarify the I.’ Sir said something very beautiful also before we started the broadcast. He said ‘Bhagavan used to say that: You will find me, only when you find Your Self.’

So beautiful. Just like Rumi (was it Rumi?) who said ‘I went looking God and I found myself. I went looking for myself and I found God.’

And all of us know these things, actually. If I was to also ask you ‘Is the Self ever-present? Does it come and go?’

It is ever-present.

So, where to look for the Self?

In the present.

Can there be an incomplete Self?

Can there be a half-Self which is trying to become the full Self?

An even stranger idea: Can you lose YourSelf that now you are trying to find it? Lose YourSelf and show me.

I have been asking this for couple of years now but nobody has actually lost themselves.

Just don’t be.

Stop existing for a moment, then I’ll point you to Existence. [Smiles]

Nobody can do it.

You just Are.

Effortlessly the Truth is Here.

And don’t confuse what I’m saying to be some sort of inaction. That is level confusion. The actions or inactions of the body will continue to happen. I’m pointing about the ‘You’ which is much beyond this body, much beyond this universe. You are so much beyond this universe that even to say ‘The Universe is Your body’ is stretching it a bit.

That is the Maya, that is the illusion. This…, which is so much beyond this world, has given Itself the power to consider Itself to be just this limited body/mind, which is the ego. That is a divine mystery in how it is playing the game of seemingly-struggling to come out of this identity. [Smiles] Struggling to make YourSelf now as You Are.

27

There is no body, there is no world, there is no universe. There is only the Self. All distinctions are mental. Whether it is (saguna) with qualities, whether it is (naguna) without qualities, it is only the Self

The mind wants to divide.

The Self is ever united.

All notions are nothing but distinctions in time and space. If you stop making distinctions in space, then we start making distinctions in time. ‘Oh, it’s okay now, but what about the future? It’s okay now that I’m in Satsang but when I leave, what happens?’ This is also distinction.

Where is the future?

Has anybody experienced it?

Where is the past?

Is there any clear evidence of this past, except this very unreliable memory?

All these are also distinctions. It is just one Consciousness playing this game of light and sound. And the mind is designed to chop it up in to pieces (past, present, future; me, other; my family, other family; my sangha, my Guru, my Truth.)

What has this ‘me’ and ‘mine’ ever gotten anyone…, except suffering?

28

Empty of Concepts About Yourself

I was saying yesterday that my perfect silent retreat one day will be that in which outer silence is irrelevant…, but you are empty of concepts about yourself.

Don’t try to replace the person with the better person. It’s like we have a Robert De Nero mask; now you are trying to replace it with Tom Cruise or George Clooney or something. Don’t change the quality of your identity.

Throw away these masks.

Meet yourself naked.

I promise you, you will meet only the light of Consciousness.

God is here.

And I can tell you that the contentment is not far behind.

[Silence]

I know that for many of you, it happens that you come to inquiry, you come to insight and you say ‘Father this is just so plain. There is nothing here. What’s the point of this?’ [Smiles]

But if you leave it be, if you let be, then you will see that natural, effortless Being has the perfume of contentment about it, ease about it. So, don’t put the cart before the horse.

As you remain empty of notions, you will start to feel the fragrance of the joy of the Being so beautifully; and you will never want that ‘something’ again. You’ll never want to be picking up the mask again. It just seems like too much hard work actually. I have no trouble with it except that you feel like you are too lazy to do that effort, to behave as ‘a person’.

If you are swimming in fresh water which is drinkable and I told you that you have to climb to the top of that mountain to get half a glass of water, would you do it?

So, spiritual seeking is like that. The great Indian sage Kabir said it very beautifully. He said ‘The fish is thirsting for water, in the water, all I can do is laugh.’ The truth is even funnier, isn’t it? Water is thirsting for water. Where will you find it?

29

Don’t Believe My Words, Check for Yourself

The second-best news is that you don’t have to believe anything that I’m saying. You don’t have to believe in anything that I’m saying; you don’t have to use any belief. All you have to do is just check for yourself. ‘Ananta says that there is the unchanging. Can I find that in my own experience? What is unchanging?’

Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had said ‘Find out that which witness all that changes.’

Is that changing? Or unchanging? What has no attributes, but IS?

What has no limitations, no boundaries?

What is beyond your waking state, dream state, sleep state, and remains untouched?

When this waking state goes, can you take anything form here into sleep? No. Every phenomenon goes, but You are there.

Who is this You?

So, all those who made a deal with me that you are going to remain notionless, I’m watching you! [Chuckles] And we meet tomorrow at 11 am. (Okay, I have to be careful when I say this. [Smiles] Some of you take it seriously.) You know the golden rule: if anything you hear in Satsang makes you feel unworthy or guilty, just forget about it. We are just playing with these things; nothing is serious. ‘All is done’ anyway. So, don’t come tomorrow feeling guilty, you know, saying ‘Father, we said that we will be notionless but I picked up so many notions; I don’t deserve to be in Satsang with you.’ All that is not true.

There is this beautiful book I was reading many years ago before I met Guruji [Sri Mooji] called ‘The Course in Miracles’. Now, what happened is that after the initial scribes passed away, there used to be a lot of debates in the Course community about ‘What was meant by this paragraph and what is meant by this?’ People would fight and argue, and it became more about the debating actually. So then one of the original students of the Course was invited one day to one of these debates and he said ‘Just take those pages, tear them and throw them away, because they are not worth it.’

So, all these pointers, if they just become more fodder for you to become ‘something’ then it’s better we throw them away. We don’t need any pointers. The only purpose is, as Bhagavan said, ‘Use the thorns to remove other thorns, and then throw these thorns away as well.’

30

Reading Bhagavad Gita

Chapter 2, verses 12 – 16

I felt today to start by reading some verses from the Bhagavad Gita. So, this is chapter 2, verse

12.Most of you know the story of the Gita. This is where Lord Shree Krishna had just started speaking to Arjun, who is at the moment bound with a lot of grief, despondency; all his fear of losing his attachments, fear of death, fear of the unknown. Everything that can afflict someone seems to be afflicting him.

So, the Lord says in verse 12: “Never, never, at any time, have I not been, neither you, nor these rulers of men. And never shall we all cease to be.”

“Never, never, at any time, have I not been, neither you, nor these rulers of men. And never shall we all cease to be.”

Then Shankara’s commentary is also here. And he makes a very important point. He says, “The plural in verse 12 refers to differences in respect to bodies. It does not point to a plurality of Selves.”

So, even when Shree Krishna is saying “And never shall we all cease to be” he’s referring only to the apparent difference in the bodies, but the Self is One. There’s never a real plurality. That’s a beautiful verse he starts with.

Then he says, “Just as the embodied Self has in the body childhood, youth, and old age, so does it win another body. An intelligent man is not bewildered by it.”

“Oh, son of Kunti (another name for Arjun) contact of the senses with their objects cause cold and heat, pleasure and pain. These come and go, they are fleeting, endure them.”

“Oh, hero, the man whom these do not agitate, who is the same in pain and pleasure, and who is wise, becomes fit indeed for immortality.”

This is perhaps one of my favorite verses of all times. This is verse 16: “The unreal comes not into Being, the Real never lapses into non-Being. The Truth about both these has been perceived by the Seers of Reality.”

So, in this one verse itself is the greatest pointer. It’s very, very similar (by Divine Grace, you can’t really call it a coincidence) to another beautiful verse which occurs in a completely seeming- scripture called ‘A Course in Miracles’ which says, “Nothing Real can be threatened. Nothing unreal ever existed. Herein lies the peace of God.” (The peace.)

Now what is this ‘Real’? It never ceases, It always Is. And what have we considered to be real? It’s only when we consider something which is coming and going to be real; that is the cause, the root, of all suffering. In this play, in this leela of the Lord Himself, we forget what we Are and we attach ourselves to that which is just passing.

31

What is the Unchanging?

In this play, in this leela of the Lord Himself, we forget what we Are and we attach ourselves to just what is passing.

I was saying the other day that to attach to something which is changing, something that is not constant, and to be attached to it and to call it mine, to claim some ownership over it, is like tying yourself to a crazy, drunk donkey or something like that. Because you know it’s going to go. Nothing phenomenal stays. Now you have attached yourself to a drunken donkey. [Chuckling] You have attached yourself to this notion that ‘I am this body’. And if you consider yourself just to be a limited body then obviously you will not feel like you have enough…, because unlimitedness is your natural state. Something keeps looking being for that. And if you consider yourself to be a body then you will want what? Unlimited good relationships, unlimited amount of money. We want that unlimitedness in a mental sort of way. But what you are truly searching for is the Truth about YourSelf; the unchanging, the unlimited nature of the Self.

Now, as long as you continue to consider the notion ‘I am something’ to be real, what are you filling this something with? ‘I am a body, I am a person, I am the mind, I am a son, I am a father.’ Now, tell me something that this ‘something’ could be…, which is the unchanging? What can you put into that box of ‘I am something’ …, and that something should be unchanging. What could that something be? (So, either you leave it blank or …?)

Whatever you might say (even if you say Self, the Absolute, God, actually it doesn’t need to be said because the ‘I Am’ Itself contains it naturally. The Truth is contained in ‘I Am’. The false is added as a super-imposition on top of that, as a belief on top of that.

Now, this ‘I’ is the Unchanging. That is why it is called The Real. ‘Nothing Real can be threatened.’ So, if You cannot be threatened, what can? That which is going to go anyway, isn’t it? So, what is there to feel threatened about if nothing Real can be threatened…, and nothing unreal ever came into existence. What does this mean? It doesn’t mean that the appearance did not arise; but it arose as an appearance. What is the meaning if the term ‘appearance’? That which appears and disappears. So, it is just an appearance. So, the Sages have made this distinction between Reality and appearance on the basis of that which does not come and go verses that which comes and goes.

Now, we have tried attaching ourself to that which comes and goes. And we all know how that has worked out.

The good news is that we don’t have to attach to the Real. We just gave to drop the false. Find Your Reality which is beyond this body, beyond this mind, beyond this world, beyond this waking state, beyond all the realms that you experience.

What is the unchanging?

32

What is Attachment?

What is that attachment? Attachment must include two things, isn’t it? There must be a ‘me’ for whom something is ‘mine’. Can there be attachment without that? There must be a ‘me’ for whom something is ‘mine’. If I say ‘my house’, can there be ‘my house’ without a ‘me’? So, the ‘me’ is me and the ‘mine’ is house. Every time we believe ‘mine’ we believe ‘me’. When we believe that something is ‘mine’ then we believe the notion of ‘me’.

That’s why I’ve been pointing out that all these sensations and perceptions are coming and going. Everything is coming and going. We take one set of perceptions and say ‘Ah, this is mine. This I want to hold on to.’ It doesn’t work. Because everything is constantly changing. But the root of all of this is we have taken a set of perceptions and labeled that ‘me’.

Where is the ‘me’ pointing to?

[Silence]

Is it just those set of sensations that you call the body?

[Silence]

This separation doesn’t come from your heart. It comes only from that which divides; which is the mind.

[Silence]

So, even in the world of appearances, we have taken some sensations and called them ‘me’ and ‘mine’…, and some sensations and called them ‘other’. This is the root of all conflict, all suffering.

33

No Sensation is Greater Than You

Now, the good news is that there is no sensation which is greater than You. No matter what the sensation might be, it is occurring in Your space, within You.

Because of our interpretation of these sensations, we feel that ‘This one is all there it is. It is too strong. It is overwhelming me.’ But actually, what happens is that you are experiencing a lot of other sensations as well. This voice is happening in the same space.

[Silence]

This space is actually boundless. Your being is actually boundless.

But like a child, you have drawn a boundary and you have presented it to the world. It’s like you made a sketch of a body and said ‘See, see, see, Ma, this is me’ and you got attached to that idea.

Who had done this? You-as-Consciousness. Consciousness is playing this game, by drawing this beautiful, intricate sketch and claiming to itself that ‘This is me.’

34

There is No Distinction, No Separation

A: How come this voice which we are hearing is the voice of ‘other’? Isn’t it your own?

Q: I can see that it’s my own. It’s just like me.

A:Yes. Very good. There is no distinction, no separation. This has always been your living experience. But we have interpreted it differently. Without the labels, where is the separation?

The funny thing is that many of you will have this insight and then you will refer it back to this body. [Gestures towards himself] ‘I’ have had this insight…, so it gets referred back to this. So, know that nothing is happening for this appearance. It continues to be an appearance. But You-as -Consciousness, which is the light of all these appearances, is playing this game of delusion and recognition.

So, throw away all lines, all boundaries, because they are only conceptual. Then some fear might come. ‘How will life continue for me? How will my bills be paid? Who will take care of my children?’ But, the same One who has been doing it so far continues to play with all these body/minds; seemingly-separate but actually One.

We don’t know how to move a finger. The mind doesn’t know how to move a finger but it claims that ‘I am running this life.’ It says ‘Yes, yes, I can move my finger.’ So I say ‘How are you able to do that?’ … [It says] ‘Oh, some brain process happened. Some neurons got fired.’ Do you know how to fire a neuron? Nobody knows. So, it is mythical; this notion that there is some individual sitting here speaking these words, moving this hand.

All is a movement of waves on the surface of the ocean called Consciousness.

35

The Greater Force is Running This Life

The greater force is running this life. We have no way how to do it, we have no idea when we consider ourself to be an individual. Then we come up with various ideas and conceptual frameworks as to how this life functions for the individual. We define a law of karma and do all kinds of astrology. But all these are from an individual perspective.

Consciousness is bound by no laws, no rules. All of this is the play of Consciousness. As our perspective becomes broader, we start to forget about cause and effect.

What is the only cause? Consciousness. Life will become so much lighter once you start to see this? All this blame and resentment and guilt, grievances; they start to fall away once you see the only cause is Consciousness. And who’s experiencing the effect of the cause? Consciousness. That is why it is said ‘Tvam Karta, Tvam Bhogta’ which means ‘You are the Doer and You are the Experiencer’…, as long as the sense of ‘me’ and ‘you’ is there. Then you see that there are ‘no two’. False Doership drops away.

[Silence]

All of this is so simply Seen. If for a few moments we can rely on what the Sages said about what is Real and about what is unreal:

That which comes and goes never really existed.

The Real always Is.

36

Completely Complete

What is Here Now? [Silence] Right Now, if I were to tell you that ‘You are the Buddha’ or ‘You are Christ’ or ‘You are Krishna’ it would not be an exaggeration. Because Consciousness is Here. This ‘I Am’ is the very same ‘I Am’ as when God said ‘I Am that I Am’. Your Being, Your Presence, is the light of this universe. Therefore, in this moment, You are completely enlightened.

[Silence]

You don’t have to go anywhere at all. In fact, the seeking, the going, itself can become the mask, the pose of ‘the unenlightened one’ wanting something.

[Silence]

Actually, I don’t need to say anything at all after this…, unless you say ‘but’.

[Silence]

This notionless Existence is completely complete.

This is the ‘Unborn Mind’ of the Zen masters. This is the ‘Atman’ of Vedanta.

It is the very ground of your Existence.

This ‘I Am’ is just Here.

You don’t have to get to it. In fact, you can never leave it. This is true for all Beings because there is only One Being appearing as all.

You are the unlimited One, the ever-present Existence whose essence is Awareness.

[Silence]

The rest of spirituality is just about how to deal with any notion of limitation that you might pick up. ‘I Am’ is here. Spirituality is for the notion ‘I am something’.

37

What is Satsang?

So, what is Satsang then? Just a reminder of this Truth that You Are. And then, just some concepts about how to deal with the doubt, the notion of ‘something-ness’.

So, the concept could be surrender or letting go. When the notion comes from the notion machine (which is the mind) it can come and it can go. This is surrender. Whether we say it is surrendered to the Satguru, or whether we say it is surrendered to Father, or it is surrendered to God, that is actually immaterial. As long as it allows us to let go, it is surrender. Then no ‘something’ notion is sticking to the ‘I Am’. We don’t even have to work with our attention in any way. Just leave attention also completely free. Allow all things to come and go, including all notions, all thoughts, all ideas. I Am remains I Am.

The Buddha does not put on the mask of the person. And the mask is not real; it is just a pretense. But it can feel real. So, surrender is this simple letting go of all notions that are up on offer from the mind. And if we could end here, it would be very simple. But I know that for many, even this can seem like it is difficult, impossible. I have heard these terms over the years.

So, if surrender seems difficult or impossible for now, then the Sages have suggested sadhana. And what is the most potent sadhana that is suggested? Self-inquiry or Atman Vichar. So, if surrender was just this simple letting go of belief, then all of sadhana actually is about trying to gain some mastery over our attention. Because all of you know that the false cannot be picked up unless it is a coordination of both attention and belief. So, surrender means we neither give our assent to the notion nor we give our dissent to the notion. We just let it come and go.

Sadhana means that we try to focus our Attention away from the notion…, into Reality of who we Are. So, what happens in Self-inquiry is that Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] has suggested that when the mind comes and it says ‘You were not behaving very well today’ or ‘You have not yet found your freedom’ …, find that one. Ask yourself ‘Who is the witness of these thoughts?’ The inquiry itself leads our attention to that which is the Witnessing, the Awareness. Ultimately, we see that this Awareness is aware of Its very Existence.

It becomes next to impossible to attach something to YourSelf, any idea about YourSelf, as you keep asking ‘But who is it that is bound? Who is it that wants Freedom?’ With this, you come to the same recognition of YourSelf which is completely already apparent in Your notionless Existence. So, you must also drop the notion that something special has to be discovered. It is completely apparent to You, Right Now.

So, these are the main things that we speak about. And you will find that in your own investigation, when you look at all the other types of sadhana (be it chanting, devotional singing, any others; mindfulness, Hath yoga) all of these are meant to work in some or the other way so that our attention is not so much on this seller of notions called the mind.

38

Nothing To Add to the Fullness of Being

You are finding that to add anything to your Being is like the ocean wanting to add a mythical drop of water to itself. If the drop of water was real, then at least we can make one concession, saying ‘The ocean wants to become ocean plus one.’ But what can you add to your Being? What objects can you surround yourself with, that the Being will become Being-plus-one?

[Silence]

What can be taken away from Being?

So, for the play of ‘me’ or ‘mine’ you need the primary notion that ‘I am something’. But You are not a thing. That’s why over the past few weeks we have investigated the nature of this world, the nature of this body, and we found that all of these are just notions we have created for a set of sensations, a set of perceptions.

What is the world? A set of perceptions.

What is the body? A set of perceptions.

What is the mind? A set of perceptions.

We have made theoretical constructs out of the appearance of these sensations. And some of these sensations we have labeled ‘me’. This ‘me’ does not stand up to any test of Truth. No test of ‘Why these sensations should be me, and other should not be me?’ There is, actually, even no intellectual reasoning behind it. It’s just a habit; a tradition actually.

Even before the mind is activated and even before the child starts to hear it from the mind, it’s traditional because we hear it from the parents. (‘Where is your hand, where is your head, where is your nose?’) So, we have been trained this way traditionally, to segregate some sensations from others and say ‘this is me’.

Now all this would be a lot of hard work and very oppressive if the good news was not here. The good news is that: No matter what notions have been picked up in the past, they do not survive in the light of this moment.

So, all gone.

That’s why I say that it’s gone now. But you need a spiritual strategy if you still feel like the ‘but’ from the mind still has some potency or power or meaning (let’s put it this way).

39

You Know That You Exist

How many of you would agree that Being is Here?

Only one? [Laughter]

We all agree but with some trepidation.

So, Being is Here.

Now, this Being…, is it an inference you are making or is it your tasted experience?

You know that you Exist.

Your Existence is Here.

You don’t need any inference.

And for those who still maybe new to Satsang (or new to Satsang here) if you feel that this is not clear, then you must not pick up the inference or join the gang which is believing that there is Being.

You must try to stop Being. Don’t Be.

And you will see that not only do you Exist, you are also completely aware of your Existence.

Now, notionlessly, what is missing for the Being?

‘Notionlessly’ means, again, you are just relying on what you are Seeing; you are not relying on an interpretation. You are relying on what you are finding for yourself in your Existence.

Without a concept, just in its own natural way, is there something missing?

What I am finding as I am looking is this: My Existence is Here and it is unlimited.

All of these perceptions are just a movement of light on My own Being. Time and space are just conceptual names for something perceived. This body of Ananta is another set of perceptions. This voice is another perception. All of these are waves on My surface.

And I know that this is Your experience.

40

Don’t be Fooled, I Will Leave You With Nothing

Often I’ve said that ‘Don’t be fooled when I say I don’t accept money’ (Dakshina) [donations] and things like this. I will leave you with nothing! [Chuckles]

All that is just in the beginning, where I say ‘I don’t want all this. I want all your conceptual attachments.’ It’s like Being Itself has covered itself with all this conceptual dust, see? Somehow it has gotten attached to it. So, actually, I am just shredding it out. Actually, it is the attachment that feels the chopping. We are just looking at it. And I know that in your noticing of it, it is dropping. But because our attachment can seem so strong, it can seem like it’s a chopping that will happen.

So, if you had a notion that ‘I went to Pondicherry and not Goa’ and I freed you from that notion and I told you ‘No, it is not Pondicherry, it is Goa’ would it sound like a chop? No. Because you are not attached to where you went. But if tell you that something that you have been deeply attached to, that that has been false …

It’s the same way. It’s a notion; empty it. Not even being replaced by another notion; just being emptied out. And as that is going, it can feel like ‘Whoa! That is a chop!’ But it is because we have been holding on tightly to it.

So, we will be free from all this conceptual dust which have been your attachments. And for a while, it is okay if it feels like chopping.

Q: [Inaudible]

A:Yes. The seller of the mask doesn’t have to give up. The one that is selling the mask of your individuality doesn’t have to give up. It is Being Itself which drops mind from its own creation. Even the mind is a creation of Being Itself. When It is playing that way, it’s buying. When it is playing this way, it stops buying.

41

ॐ ॐ ॐ

~Beginning of Silent Retreat in Tiruvannamalai~

What Are You Truly Seeking?

Q:It seems that once you are in this space, there is nothing happening here and you feel like: ‘Is that it?’ Because you have heard a lot of stories about enlightenment, bliss. And this is something which I was also talking to a fellow seeker about sometime back, because your mind expects something to happen here, after this. Because you feel that once you reach this state, what’s there? What more is there? And your mind is looking for that.

A: That’s why when I started speaking…, (I forgot what I said. What did I say?) [Chuckles]

Q: You said ‘Don’t expect. Don’t have a notion about what you will achieve through this retreat.’

A:Also, I want to tell you all that what really becomes the most important at one point is that it is Truth for Truth sake: ‘I want the Truth for the naked Truth, for its ‘Truthiness itself. I don’t want it because it will bring me something else.’ And many of us say this: ‘I have devoted my life for the Truth now, I want only the Truth.’ But what we actually mean is ‘Where is the bliss?’ [Chuckles] ‘Where is the joy?’ Now you are having a beautiful insight about your Truth, and what is the mind saying? ‘But where are the by-products?’ So, this is very much in line with what I started sharing about: If the Truth did not have any other benefit, would you still be here?

Q: Maybe not.

A:Ah. [Chuckles] So, this is a beautiful contemplation for you: What are you Truly seeking? And I have a feeling that the ‘maybe not’ is not true. If the Truth had no by-products, no benefits in this phenomenal world, how many of you would get up and leave? (It is good we are asking this on the first day.) [Chuckles] By the way I am not saying it won’t, or that it will; I am just saying forget about it. So, can we over these next five to six days be in this just for Truth sake; not because it should mean something for the life of any of us? I know it’s not an easy ‘ask’ because we have heard so many stories about what happened to those who are free. But all those who are truly free have told us ‘Don’t bother with this stuff, focus on the Truth.’ No Master has said ‘Ah, look at this beautiful miracle I am performing, and this is what it’s all about’ or ‘Look at this halo around my head, this is what it’s all about.’ Nobody has said that. They have said that ‘I have found the Truth of what I am. That is the only thing that is important.’ Because otherwise the mind will keep playing this card: ‘So then, what now? What happened to me?’ Nothing happened to you; you were not even there. You said ‘The ‘me’ is not even here, right now.’

Q: I think the mind says ‘How can it be so simple?’

A:Yes. I have heard this so many times. And all those I have heard this from (they have come; those who have continued to stay in satsang) have seen that it is so simple because it is the Truth. If the Truth was also coming and going, what kind of Truth would it be? And if it does not come and go, it must be Here Now. And what is Here Now…, is You.

42

Give Your Fear of Nothingness to Me

Q:When I understood this, it felt like a void opened and it was really frightening because it felt like annihilation, like on the brink. It felt like ‘I am me’ was gonna be gone. So, my question is: it’s not just a simple step to understand ‘Yes, I am the Self and I am not me.’ It is like a terrifying thing that you lose every idea of what you are and the ‘me’ disappears. Is this how you faced it? Was it as easy step for you? Because now, the last couple of days, I’m sort of like ‘Wow, this is a terrifying step. It’s not just an easy slip into being Being.’

A:You caught me out there. Why? Because (maybe Jaya will remember) somebody many years ago called me ‘Smiling axe man.’ [Chuckles] What is being shared with such simplicity here, to the mind, to the ego, is completely destructive. It can sound like it’s a big-time blowing up happening. But I can tell you that if you are here (and you’ve been in few satsangs with me before, online) I know that if you are here, it means that something there is ready for that.

Q: Yes, I want you to cut my head off.

A:Yes, so something there is ready for that. Now, the mind has a version of how the head has to chopped. And you might find that how it is actually being chopped is a little bit different form that. So, that is what we are here for, to chop the heads off…, but as I am taking you along, most of what is being said here is an invitation to inquire. As you inquire along with me, you might find that you no longer find you head anywhere. Sometimes in the middle, I know that fear can come. Sometimes I could have said something very innocent actually and you looked at that and big fear can come. Some have reported that ‘I can’t find the ground under me. I can’t find what is up, what is down, what is left, what is right. Is everything goanna be all right?’ And I say ‘This is very good.’

So, I am here to hold your hand through that fear if it comes. But if you see it through, you will see that this fear, like most other fears, is completely unfounded. The fear is telling you that ‘You are going to fall in to an endless void’ or something like this. ‘You just can’t do. You’ll fall into some endless void.’ The reality of your no-thing-ness will not feel like you are falling in an endless void. That is just the mind’s interpretation of it. You will discover You are boundless space. But you will find that You are beyond even that.

Now, what happens is that we have been using some concepts, some notions, some beliefs about ourselves as crutches, believing that we need their help. Now, as they are being thrown way, you feel you are falling…, but actually you are flying. So, let the fear be mine.

43

No Separation Between Activity and Satsang

Q:It’s very beautiful to be where you led me. I have been asking this question to myself. The job which I do is extremely challenging from a physical and mental…, from a mental perspective.

And I feel that a lot of my time which I could have devoted in seeking is going into that; the energy is going into that job so much that I’m not able to drill more into this state which I think my whole Being is craving for it but I am not able to do it. And I also hear you say that if God is anywhere, it has to be here as well.

A: Yes.

Q:And I feel that when I’m working and whatever I am doing in my life, the state of meditation (or whatever we call it) should be with us all the time. So, I am not able to balance the two. I still feel that this Satsang is a different atmosphere. But when you go out and work, it is a different atmosphere. And I’m not able to balance the two. And I do recognize the space where I can See that my ‘me’ is not there. But my ‘me’ has to be there when I’m working because otherwise I can’t work. But I don’t have the same sense of peace, harmony, when I’m put into that state.

A:Yes. The presumption that ‘There must be a ‘me’ when I work’ is not true. Even when the ‘me’ wasn’t there, you were coming up with some very coherent sentences. What do we have to do at work? Say some things, type out a few things, walk a little bit from here to there. ‘Consciousness cannot do it without a ‘me’.’ The mind has sold us this notion that there is a ‘Satsang world’ (and thankfully, you did not use the term but many times I hear it) and there is a ‘Real world’ out there. [The mind] makes this distinction and says ‘Here, it’s okay; you can just be. But how can you ‘just be’ at work? You have to be a ‘me’.’

Will you try it a few days without a ‘me’ and see? Then you can complain to me and tell me ‘I had to send an e-mail to my boss and it just didn’t happen.’ Can I tell you that all of this, the movement of every action in this body, is happening only in the Light of Consciousness? It does not need anything’s help; especially not the ego. It is just mythical anyway. You said you cannot produce the person. So, if it doesn’t exist, how can it help you? Isn’t it?

Q: Yes.

A:If you imagine that there is a blue cat, can you play catch with it? It doesn’t exist. You will say ‘It doesn’t exist. What do you mean?’ Now you’re Seeing that this ‘me’ actually doesn’t exist, and at the same time you are saying ‘It is helping me in my work.’ This is the voice of the same mythical blue cat. It’s saying ‘No, no. Don’t say bye to me. You need me for work, at least.’ [Chuckles] Some work continues to happen from here also (this body, this appearance) …, the appearance of work continues in some way.

Q:There’s something else also happening. You know, my ambition, the zeal to work has been diminishing for quite some time. And the reason I feel there is a lot of effort required to do my work is because some part of me says ‘What is the point of all this?’ But at the same time, I feel like I need to earn my living. So, there’s always been a conflict with this voice or this fight. Can you please help me with that?

44

A:Yes. You don’t need to get into opposition with anything. This Satsang, this recognition of the

Self, is not in opposition to anything in the phenomenal world. Now, you’re right that this feverishness, the feverishness about ‘I have to get this, do this…, I have to achieve this level by the time I’m forty, forty-five. I have to be CEO by the time I’m forty-seven’ …, ideas like this may have lost their power. But, many times, it is this which has made us very stressed out at work. As we are empty of these notions, sometimes you might find yourself more productive at work. It doesn’t have to be that way.

So, it is again a notion that we have that ‘It is my ambition which was keeping me working so hard and making money for my family.’ It has never done anything at all. It is just mental positions that we have taken. What has been happening has been happening. The waves of the ocean have been going up and down. But the waves are saying ‘See, I had ambition! That’s why I went high.’ …, (while looking the other way, saying ‘That one has no ambition.’) [Chuckles]

It is not that. There are greater forces in operation here than that which we consider the Self to be. Play with this, experiment with this, and you can be in touch with me after the retreat also and tell me.

45

This is True Silence

Every thought is selling you a position. It’s trying to give you reference point about yourself that ‘This is what you are.’ Even a thought which might be saying ‘I am really getting this’ or ‘I am not getting this at all; I don’t know what I am doing here’ [Chuckles] it is making a ‘something’ out of you. But it can’t do it unless Consciousness Itself believes it; plays the game of belief.

So, this is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness and It’s just reminding Itself: You don’t need to take a position. You are done with playing as a limited entity.

See, the Presence which you call ‘I Am’ is the Presence of God, not the presence of a person. And there is no reason to attach any notion to this ‘I Am’.

This is true silence.

46

A Notion May Come but I Am Simply Here

More and more, almost every day, I want to repeat: No matter how big the notion was, in this moment, you are empty of it.

So, as you pick up, you will also say (as you say ‘But…’ the notion will come) you will start to counter these ‘But’s…’ by saying ‘But I Am Here!’ or ‘But God is Here.’ No matter what notion you pick up, it is just a mask, it is the pretence. Noting ever happened to Reality. This we See? …, that no matter what idea you’re believing about yourself, no matter how deeply identified you are, noting changed for Consciousness Itself. Only in the apparent play. So, when this is Seen, then you See that the picking up a notion is just putting on the mask. It doesn’t change the Reality of You. And then it will not seem like such a scary idea.

Okay, a notion will come and you will pick it up. When a notion will come here also that I will pick it up. There is nobody a hundred-percent free; nobody who doesn’t pick up a single notion. The notion will be picked up. But the good news is, that in this moment, you are empty of all of it. But if you make that benchmark, your benchmark, a hundred percent then it will use that one moment where something was picked up. ‘How could he do this to me?’ That moment, you’ll say ‘See, you are not free.’ When you pick up the salad, then you pick up the main course, the dessert, everything. Because you just picked up one notion, then you pick up the guilt about it, unworthiness about it and the idea that ‘I am not free’.

[Silence]

Q:Yes, something wants to be one hundred percent, it’s true. And yes, something wants it to be there experientially, from moment to moment. Like something is looking for perfection.

A:Ah. Here, I have some good news for you. Experientially moment to moment, it is perfection already. Notion-ally, it is not. Conceptually, it might not seem like it is. ‘What IS’ is never a mistake. The universe is the best cook. It knows exactly how much salt, how much sugar to put in the recipe. It does not make mistakes and it has perfect timing. So ‘what IS’ is always perfect.

It is only our interpretation which can make it seem like it is not. But even that is perfect. See what I mean? Even the delusion…, it’s not as is if Consciousness is trapped in some delusion. It is just that Consciousness is playing with delusion…, and now playing with the dropping of the delusion. So, then it doesn’t seem like such a serious problem. Consciousness is not trapped in delusion. And You are that Consciousness.

47

How Do You Say That You Are This Body?

Q:I’m still a little bit mixed with the identification with the body. I feel this energy in the body and I feel myself also as this body.

A:Okay, again slowly. You feel the energy which is in the body. You feel that there is body here. How do you say that you are this body? Is that energetic or is that interpreted?

Q:Because I can see that I’m everywhere but at the same time, I can surely see that I perceive through the body.

A:Ah. So, it’s the centrality of the perspective which seems to be from inside this head, from behind these eyes, that it seems it convinces us. But we’ve had so many dreams also where it seems there is a body there and I’m watching from inside the body. But where were you actually? Were you an object contained behind the eyes in the dream?

Although the centrality of the perspective was the same, it was seeming like you were looking from within those eyes, from behind those eyes. Where you actually there?

This is very, very common because we feel that ‘I must be an object inside this head’ or something behind these eyes because my vision seems to confirm that.

What object is there behind the eyes?

Do you feel like you are an object behind the eyes or a non-object?

Q:It seems like I have the capacity to feel myself also as an object and also as a non-object. It feels like this.

A:Yes. Only something which is beyond the object state can have the capacity for both. If it were just an object…, like the glass cannot say that.

Can there be something which is not phenomenal but located in the body?

Can there be something non-phenomenal located in the body?

Q:Yes, not located but because it’s everywhere, it’s also in the body.

A:Ah, that’s different. [Chuckling]

The body is in It then. It is everywhere, therefore also in the body. Therefore, the greater thing we can say is that the body is included in That.

Why does it single out this body to identify with? Because of the centrality of the perspective. It can seem like I’m looking out of this body.

48

Show Me Where Your Boundary Is

A: Okay, let’s do something simple; all of us. Show me where your boundary is.

Show me where your boundary is?

[Silence]

Found it?

Q: No boundaries except of thoughts.

A: Yes, [ Smiles] that’s what I’m saying. And the thought is not a real boundary, but a pretense.

Q: Except from some feelings, but they are same as thoughts we can say.

A:Even the feeling uninterrupted is no trouble, is no boundary. You need the interpretation that

‘This should not be’ or ‘This is what I am’ …, some interpretation from again the mind itself.

You are that space that in which gazillion feelings can come and go and they would not touch You.

Most of you know this example which I take. There’s big white wall and I make a small black dot on it. And I ask all of you ‘What do you see?’ 99.9% will say ‘I see a black dot.’ Very few will say ‘A big white wall; one small black dot.’ Why? Because we don’t recognize the space. We only recognize that which is moving. This feeling where it shouldn’t not be there; that.

What is the space in which the feeling is coming? I promise you that if I put million more feelings just like that, that space will remain untouched.

[Silence]

And this is what we are going to check for ourselves; come to this insight for ourselves. Like I said in the beginning ‘Don’t believe in what I’m saying, check for yourselves.’

I asked him also ‘The space in which the feeling is there, is it not the same space where this voice is there?’ Same space.

Where is the separation between me and you?

Where is your boundary?

49

Neti Neti or Including Everything

Q:I have a question about (I don’t know if I can call it the concept of) ‘neti-neti.’ Because somehow in my experience, it’s more that I want to include everything. I want to be everything. I don’t want to be ‘I’m not that, I’m not that.’ And yeah, I don’t know how to. There seems to be some kind of struggle between these two ideas or maybe I can include even ‘neti-neti’ within the ‘I am everything’.

A:Ah, nice, I like that. This is very good. Is funny; it’s like many of these conundrums, the contradiction is inherent in them. When you discover what’s at the end of it: what is that which I can’t say ‘not that’ to…, (‘neti-neti’ is ‘not that, not that.’) we come to a point where we cannot say ‘not that’ to This. And then in This, you will find that everything IS. This is the conundrum. You will not find that ‘Oh, there is just this which is just like THAT! [Makes vast extension of his arms] It’s just because our focus has been on this side of ‘I Am’… (You tell me when you lose me, alright?)

So, after our Existence, this entire phenomenal play is there. All our focus has gone on it. Other people, other events, money, relationship; all of this is on this side when you exist. So, the Sages have devised a mechanism by which some focus could come to This Itself, the Being…, and That which is even prior; before ‘I Am’. How did they do that? This: let’s use the filter of ‘What is Real’ to mean ‘What doesn’t come and go.’

Then it is this Being Itself which seems to come to the recognition of its own Source. When it does that, then the mask of individuality falls away, the mask of division falls away. And then this worldly play, it includes everything. So, what is happening is that as identity has gone on phenomenal events for so long, the Sages said ‘Okay, for some time, [notice] ‘I’m not this not this. What else is there?’ So, I would say (if I can be so courageous as to add something to what the Sages said) I would say instead of doing ‘neti-neti’, you do: ‘What else is there?’ How’s that? So, the world is there, what else? [Silence]

Neti neti starts how? Not the world; it is changing. Not the body; it is changing. Not my thoughts; they are changing. Not my emotions; they are changing. What can we say about that Being? Is it changing? So instead of saying ‘not, not, not’ …, you say:

‘Okay, the world fine; good, good.’ Hug the world and say: ‘Okay, what else is there?’

Ah, body is there. What else?

Thoughts are there. What else?

Emotions are there. What else?

Even this ‘What else?’ is fine. So, the point of ‘neti-neti’ is not to come into some sort of opposition to the world but to bring some focus back to where this world comes from. So, you will try this?

50

Let’s Question This Presumption

Q:May I go back to that question that you asked: ‘Where is the boundary of you?’ Or ‘Where is the boundary of Being?’ And this is my experience. There is me, Murad, the body and that boundary is here. There is the me, the emotions, which is a little bigger than my body frame. There is the thought-aspect of me which is now getting non-local, but still centered here. Then there is the ‘I-Murad as ego personality’ which is again non-local but it’s still centered here. And then behind that, there is the ‘I Am’ …, which, in front, everything is playing. And of course, it’s not local. And then there’s also the ‘I’ bigger than ‘I Am’ and there’s no question of locality there or boundary there. So, it’s this and this and this and this and this; and it’s all playing as one. It’s just that I’m sitting in that first two or three frames of reference. I’m anchored there, so my frame of reference is anchored from there and I have physicality. But I’m also aware that I’m simultaneously ‘this, this, this AND this AND this.’ In Consciousness playing, all the way through, I’m there. So, I think that right now, as times goes on, it drops here and you lapse more into [inaudible] and then the body/personality plays in front of that.

A:What if we were to question this presumption together that ‘I’m anchored in this the first two.’? Is there some actual evidence of that or just circumstantial inference-based evidence?

Q: I think its inference based.

A: Yeah, so if we leave this…?

Q: …inference. Pure, un-adulterated just ‘I Am’ …, just flowing through.

A:Yeah. And what is the positivity behind the inference? What is the benefit it brings to you?

Q:You can function on a certain plane.

A:Have you tried without it?

Q:No.

A; Let’s try this. I will tell you that no good comes out of this inference. It’s just that Consciousness has wanted to experience itself in a certain way. Now that it is Satsang, it is done with that experience. The only thing which comes of it is duality, desire, doership, and suffering.

So, if we drop the presumption that ‘I am anchored in the body, I am anchored in my emotions or my mind’ and then you find that actually it is just not true. Otherwise, the idea of time (that I have to go from there to there to there) can keep perpetuating.

Q: It’s very freeing, as you are speaking right now.

51

Playful Parables

[During the Tiru Silent Retreat, Murad from sangha gave Anantaji 5 little gifts representing these playful, insightful parables Ananta uses in his pointings. Ananta speaks on these parables.]

The Checker Guy

[Ananta takes the first gift from the gift box]

Murad: The first one is a minature Sherlock Holmes, so it is…, the checker guy.

Ananta: This is very sweet, I like this.

Those who have been in satsang with me for some time will know that I often joke and say my arch-nemesis is ‘the checker guy’ because any instruction, any pointing that you’re given, then we invent this checker guy who starts keeping a report card on how well we’re doing on that. So, what happens is if we say ‘Keep quiet. Don’t believe your next thought’ then we start buying into the report card thoughts about ourself. ‘Oh, I’m believing so many thoughts. I’m not there yet.’ So, the checker guy is my arch-nemesis.

.

.

[From Ananta book 9: The Greatest Gift:

A:So, my arch-nemesis is ‘the checker guy’. So, let me explain who is this ‘checker guy’. The one that is constantly checking ‘Okay, I was like this. This is what happened to me. Now I am 80% there, only this last thing is left’. You see? It keeps checking and making its report card.

And this one is very sticky. So, this one, why I call it my arch-nemesis is because whatever I tell you, it will use that and add it to your report-card…, ‘Ananta said this, now I am going to track myself on my progress as far as that is concerned’.

I can only tell you that this one which is trying to storify something (make a story where there is none, trying to make a conclusion basically) this one you leave here with me today. Because this one will give you a lot of trouble. And the only place where this one will get to is the spiritual ego.]

52

Playful Parables

Caterpillar to Butterfly

[Ananta takes the next gift out of the gift box]

Ananta: Oh, a caterpillar.

Murad: And there’s a little zipper. If you open it, it becomes a …

Ananta: Butterfly.

This is transformation in Satsang. But we should have one where it is just a butterfly but it is saying ‘I am a caterpillar.’

Ananta: Oh, it looks like it’s just another caterpillar in this pouch.

Murad: I didn’t open it because I wanted you to be the one to open it, but I’m hoping it’s a butterfly!

Ananta: [Laughter in the room] This might be a good satsang for all of us. [Laughter] It turns out the caterpillar WAS a caterpillar. [Laughing] There was a ‘person’ after all. [Laughter] The $1,000 will be claimed. [Ongoing offer that if you can ‘show me the person’ Ananta will give $1,000] Is there another way to open this?

Someone says: Maybe by the end of satsang, it will become a butterfly. [Laughter]

.

.

Addendum:

[Ananta speaking on ‘Caterpillar into Butterfly’ from Book 3:

What does a caterpillar have to do to become a butterfly? (Nothing.) [Laughter]

The butterfly was pretending to be the caterpillar wanting to become the butterfly. The butterfly pretending to be the caterpillar wanting to become the butterfly. So, I have the easiest job in the world, [laughter] just to remind you that you have always been only ‘that’. You have always been the butterfly. So the only thing I have to do, (if it seems like something I’m doing), is just to remind you to look, just check: Are you really a caterpillar or are you just pretending? …, are you giving too much energy to your thoughts? That’s all. Basically that’s all.

Because not even intellect is needed. Not even knowledge is needed. What book must a caterpillar read to become a butterfly? ‘101 steps to butterfly-dom’.

That could be a best seller, you see? As long as you feel that you are this caterpillar, and somebody gives you this book which tells you how to become a butterfly; that could become a best seller: 7 steps to butterfly. I like this example very much: The caterpillar and Butterfly. I think we can have a lot of fun with it.]

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Playful Parables

The Blue Cat

[Ananta reaches down to the gift box and pulls a blue cat out of the box] [Laughter]

Murad: Both sides; one side is smiling; one side is not. It’s a blue cat, but it’s a Schrödinger’s cat.

Ananta: They found the cat. [Laughing] Do you understand? Some of you who have been in Satsang with me will know what is going on here, but I’ll explain this one. In fact, it might be the best way to start Satsang today. And I know that you’re expecting to hear something about silence, but to truly speak about why silence is important, it’s important to speak about the seeming-human condition. So, this is a very good reminder and I’ll start with this today.

Suppose you were born in the world with no mirrors. And you could not even check on the body; there was no way to check on which body that is. You were born in this world and everybody told you that you are a cat. And your job is to get the next bowl of milk.

So, then the cat was told ‘Your bowl of milk, which will give you true happiness, is going to be your education. Get a good education and you will find true happiness.’ Then as you got older, you were given this idea that if you get the best relationship, that is your next bowl of milk. Get the best partner. Then you were told ‘Now that you have a good partner, you might as well have children.’ Then ‘Make lots of money.’ So, all these bowls of milk have been presented to you. And as a cat, we’ve gone from bowl to bowl, expecting that true happiness, true contentment to come.

Then you were told ‘You need that final bowl of milk, the bowl that has amrit in it; the nectar of immortality. Enlightenment, moksha, liberation.’ Then we try with many teachers, many Satsangs. ‘Where can I get this bowl of milk? Because this is the final bowl of milk; the other bowls of milk didn’t work. But the ultimate purpose of my life as a cat is to get to moksha, nirvana.’ And we tried many Masters. Many we got frustrated with, saying ‘It’s just not happening. I’m not getting that true happiness.’

Then somebody says ‘Go to a true Master.’ And you find a true Master, like Guruji [Sri Mooji] and you go there. He says ‘Bowl of milk? I have no bowl of milk. But are you a cat? I have a mirror. Let me show you…’

Until then, everything has been for the cat. Now you’re finding that ‘That which I have been catering to has just been idea. It has never been my reality.’ So, the Master says ‘Are you a cat?’

How many are willing to look openly?

And how many are still searching for that bowl of milk for the cat?

There is no such thing as ‘personal freedom’.

There is no such thing as nirvana for the cat.

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Are you open to the idea that all you’ve considered yourself to be, every notion that you’ve had about yourself, has been for the cat identity? Are you open to the idea that you are not an object in this world? …, and that maybe the world is an object in You? You don’t have to have an insight about it yet, but are you open to this being a true possibility? Are you open to the idea that you are not this cat, you are not this ‘person’.

So, this is an example of our human condition actually. We’ve been taught that we are this person, we have believed that we are this person, and we’ve been provided many ways to make this person happy. It doesn’t work.

Now, you’re finding who You really Are. You’re not this cat, going from place to place, looking for bowls of milk, trying to find happiness.

And what is this mirror? That is what this silent retreat will be all about: How to See this for myself. This is what we’re going to talk about.

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Playful Parables

ATM – Any Time Misery

Ananta: Since I shared the cat story, and I see many of you are new in Satsang with me (at least in-person) I might as well share my other favorite story as well, which also describes the human condition in a very nice way.

So, suppose the task was the opposite. The task was not to try and find happiness, the task was to be miserable or to find suffering. How would you do it? If the task was reversed. ‘I want to become miserable and I want to suffer.’ How would you do it? Easy! [Chuckles] Because you have an ‘Any Time Misery’ machine’…, an ATM. You have an ATM, which is ‘Any Time Misery’. What is this Any Time Misery machine? It is the mind. Now, just by walking up to the ATM, it doesn’t give you money, does it? You have to do two things. You put the ATM card in. ATM card is what? ‘Attention to Mind’…, ATM card. You put the card in.

But even after putting the card in, does misery come? Does money come on its own. You also have to put your ‘Personal Identification’ [PIN] which means your belief. The only way to identify (when Guruji says ‘Don’t identify’) the only way to identify is to believe what the thought is saying. So, we punch in our ‘Personal Identification’ [PIN] and what happens? Unlimited amount is available to you. [Laughter] This is a town where unlimited misery is available; as much as you want. But both these steps have to happen. Attention has to go to the mind, and belief has to be provided to what the mind is saying.

We’ll talk about all of these things. I know many of you will say ‘Who is providing the belief? Whose attention is it?’ We’ll talk about all of this.

Murad: Pick up that gift of the side there in the box.

Ananta: Oh, there’s something else? I see, I see.

Murad: It’s supposed to be a cushion cover, but if you open it up.

Ananta: Oh, look at that! [Holds up the cushion cover with ATM machines printed on it] [Laughter in the room]

Murad: Read the back, at the bottom.

Ananta: Aha. So, these are all the ATM’s. [Shows the side of the cushion with ATM machines] We should have had 70 of them. [70 sangha in the room] [Laughter]

Then it says: [Reads the inscription on the gift] Artist: personified person. This is the art of my kid. (The artist is personified person.) The title is ‘Any Time Misery Machine’. Insert ‘attention’ card, then punch in belief, ‘pin’. This is perfect! Perfect. Thank you.

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Playful Parables

Not-Applicable

Murad: There’s one more. [gift in the box] So, these pillow covers have to be stuffed with stuffing. I couldn’t bring the stuffing.

Ananta: Yes, yes. So, they’re already ‘empty’ of belief. [Laughter] All my hard work is done already. You want to see how you’ll be at the end of the retreat? [Chuckles and holds up the empty ATM-art pillow case] [Laughter]

[Picks up the next gift, another large, empty pillow case which says ‘Not Applicable’ in big artistic painted letters.]

Ananta: ‘Not-applicable’. This is very good. Very good. This is someone who has really been

listening to Satsang. This is very good. On the back, it says: ‘The path to ‘not-applicable’ is loving what is.’ Very good, my dear.

What does this ‘not-applicable’ mean? Like many times, when we come to Advaita Satsang, then what might happen is that we might hear something like ‘You are not the doer.’ But you might still consider yourself to be a limited entity whose attribute of doership has been taken away. So, then ‘I’m just a person who has no doership, so I’m just like a chair which all of us can move around. So, God is just moving me. I’m just this poor chair.’

Now, the truth is…, why are you not the doer? Because the person does not exist. So, neither doership nor non-doership actually is applicable.

Don’t worry if the words are starting to confuse you already. You’ll start to see all of this. That which does not exist, we don’t have to strip it of all its attributes. We just have to See that it doesn’t exist. And you come to the Seeing of what You Truly Are.

So, doership/non-doership? Not applicable. Desire/non-desire; renounce/accept…, all these things are the play of what pose we pick up as a person. And as a spiritual person, we can pick up the poses of non-doership, we can pick up the pose of renouncing. But actually, even this is not applicable. It’s not about any position that you take.

Now, we’re getting to what silence means.

.

.

Addendum:

[From Ananta book 10, The Simple Seeing:

Then the question appears: ‘Who am I?’ Why is it that this question is so powerful? Because we find that all that this voice is saying is ‘not applicable’ to the Reality of what I Am. And the movie continues to play anyway. What is my true position in this?]

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This Inner Silence of Just Being

I’m happy this time. For the first time, when the silent retreat is just starting, I’m taking the time to explain what truly silence means. So, Now, Right Here, Right Now, You exist effortlessly. Your Existence is completely effortless. Nobody is holding the existence up. You just Are. I Am.

This Existence has been considered to be some-thing. And you cannot do that unless you access the ATM. [Relating to Ananta’s parable that ATM stands for ‘Anytime Misery Machine’ or ‘Attention to Mind’] The notion that ‘I am some-thing’ only comes from the mind. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘To see ‘I Am’ is to recognize God, to recognize Consciousness.’ To believe ‘I Am something’ is to play as limited Consciousness, individualized Consciousness.

So, all of spirituality ultimately (no matter what the path might be) is to get you to this simple ‘I Am-ness’ empty of the some-thing notion. And the some-thing notion only comes from the ATM notion, from the mind.

Now if I say to you, if I have said this to you ‘You are the Self; You cannot be some-thing’ and that is enough for you, then we are done. You are just this Self. And this Truth is apparent to You, Right Now. It is apparent to You Right Now, whether your thoughts are agreeing with what I am saying or not. It has always been the Truth. I Am.

Now, many times, just this one reminder that ‘You are the Self, You are not some-thing’ is not enough in the play of this world. Then the Master said ‘Surrender. All the some-thing that is coming, you surrender. Surrender means [pointing to MoojiBaba’s picture] ‘It is my Father’s problem.’ Whatever tool you need to use to surrender. What happens then is we come to this beautiful letting go. The Zen master said ‘Keep your front door and back door open, let all thoughts come and go; just don’t serve them tea.’ This is surrender. And this much is also then enough. It is the same as saying ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ …, just let it come and go. Then no ‘some-thing’ sticks and ‘I Am’ remains mask-less.

Now, some of you might say ‘This doesn’t work for me’ and that is fine. Either the temperament is not devotional or the letting go seems too difficult. Then we come to the realm of sadhana. What is the simplest? When the notion of ‘something’ comes, find out ‘Who witnesses that? Who am I?’ The thought is coming. Who is the witness of this thought? Find out if any thought, any ‘something’ is applicable to the Real You. In this checking, you will realize that all the notions of ‘something’ cannot apply to the Truth of what I Am.

How many are following what I’m saying so far? Because I can repeat, I can go back. Because this is really important because we’re talking about the fundamentals of the human condition and what Satsang really is. I feel for many of us, we’ve been in Satsang for a long time but we don’t recognize what is really going on. And the notion ‘I am something’ becomes the prerequisite to Satsang itself. ‘I’m a spiritual person now, I want my freedom. I’m the seeker; give me this.’ So, we’re not starting truly from where we are.

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I want us to start from ‘I Am’ itself. Notionless. You don’t have to do anything about it. Already this moment is giving you this gift. This moment has already given you this gift: You are empty of all notions about YourSelf. We start.

So, like I said, first is that we just let these notions just come and go. This is the surrendered state. I’ve advised many of you to just stay at my Father’s feet. This is what it means. Nothing is your problem now; all things come and go. If that doesn’t seem possible in our temperament, then we inquire ‘Who am I?’ As you inquire, ‘Who am I?’ you will see that ‘These notions do not apply to me. I remain as I Am.’

Then, some might say that ‘Even inquiry doesn’t seem to help, I can’t do it, I don’t have the patience for it, it irritates me’ or something. Then other types of sadhana have been prescribed in various paths for the same purpose. Somebody might tell you ‘Why don’t you chant Ram?’ Then our minds space is completely devoted to the chant of a particular mantra, which are actually very strong energetically as well. As the chanting is going on, all our attention, all our devotion is going into the chant. So, the notion ‘something’ doesn’t get picked up.

Now, somebody might say ‘No, no, even chanting seems too much of a Hindu or Buddhist thing to do. I can’t. I want to be very scientific about this.’ So, then you might be advised ‘Why don’t you keep your attention on your breath?’ Remember the ATM? Because if attention is on the breath then attention is not going to all these mental notions. Just on the breath; then if you’re walking just keep your attention on the contact with ground.

You see? Beautiful practices. But it depends on where you are. Some will say ‘Okay, even this doesn’t work.’ Then I might say ‘Why don’t you do some hath yoga?’ For at least that period of time, you will focus your attention on your muscles and your bones; how they are. So, already you’ll get some room from this ATM, some space away from it, if you do hath yoga. Also, if you do some devotional singing. These are all very good to get to this notionless-ness. All spiritual paths are actually keeping us in this sense ‘I Am’ in Your notionless Existence.

Now, why is silence important? I’m talking now about the outer silence. If you look at many of the notions that you pick up, it is about how you will communicate, what you want to say next, how you’ll present yourself. So, if this whole task is taken away from you, then to come to true silence (which is Your notionless Existence) is much easier because you don’t have to present yourself in any way.

This is the best part about a silent retreat which I always used to love. You don’t have to comb your hair, you can just walk around. Nobody cares what you’re doing, where you’re going. You just have this space and you don’t have to think about what to say next. You don’t have to think about what your roommate thinks of you, who’s getting it in Satsang, who’s not. There’s no need to communicate about any of this. And you find as this outward silence is deepening, you’ll find that it’s so much easier, lighter, to come to this true silence, which is the absence of egoic belief. As you come to this absence of egoic belief of the notion ‘I am some-thing’ then all outer instructions, pointings, can be dropped. So, it is found by all the great Sages through the centuries that this outer silence is very helpful for us to come to this inner silence of just Being.

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Your True Inner Silence

As you come to your true inner silence, you will find (like she was saying yesterday) that it includes all things. Nothing is an opposition to your Truth. Nothing is an opposition to your Being. Actually, it is only shining in the light of your Being.

[Silence]

We find that God always puts the right amount of spices in every experience. Otherwise, it is very easy to believe that ‘I’m the most accepting person around’. [Chuckles] But when you start getting poked, that’s the time when we start to see: ‘What happened to oneness?’

[Silence]

So, outwardly you might look very serious (even I might look very serious for the next few days) but inwardly know that there is a gentle playfulness about it. We don’t want it to become a very serious retreat or something. It is just a tool, a technique, that we are using to discover our inward silence. But we are not going to be fanatical about it; we are not going to super-serious because then a lot of judgment comes; self-judgment and judgment of others. So, truest silence…

One day I said ‘My utopian silent retreat will be the one with no rules but everybody just comes conceptlessly and goes conceptlessly; [Chuckles] where there are no guidelines, no instructions, no methods to follow, no timings even. One day we will have a retreat like this, where you just come conceptlessly and go conceptlessly; no expectations, no results…, just drowning in our own Presence.’

[Silence]

So, this Being…, let’s use our outer silence to leave this Being unmolested, unharassed, by notions about Itself.

Who is doing it? Being itself. [Chuckles]

And every moment of this silence shows us the Reality of who we Are.

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What You Already Are

If I have a gift for you, it is this one: What You already Are, Right Now in this moment, is greater than any notion you can pick up about yourself. Even the notion of the greatest enlightened Sage cannot match Your Reality Right Now.

How many are with me on this one?

This Existence, this Presence, is not personal.

Whose Presence is it?

Your existence is whose existence?

Who is in doubt about their own existence?

Can you stop being?

Stop being, don’t exist.

Who is able to do it?

Why is it an absurd notion?

Because You know You Are.

You Exist.

Now, this existence is whose existence? Is this existence a bodily existence, just a bodily existence? No, the body has changed completely. The body that was born is not this body now. But Your Existence has continued. They say ‘body/mind organism’. What to say about the mind? [‘A bundle of thoughts’] One moment it is there and the next moment it is not. It comes and goes. But does Your Existence also come and go with that?

So, when Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘Who am I?’ he was asking the same question: Whose existence is it?

[Silence]

Now, one set of answers is coming to you from the mind, saying ‘My name is this, I was born here.’ Is there a deeper answer from your intuitive insight?

What are you existing as?

Any answers?

[Repeats the answers from sangha]: As Existence! (That was quick.) As Existence Itself. The witnessing. Presence.

Now, whether you see that You Are the Existence Itself or the Witnessing of even this Existence or Presence, can you tell me Your shape or size?

[Answers from sangha]: No.

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Can you tell me when You were born?

What is true about You?

What’s beyond the surface of emotions, sensations, thoughts?

All these are there and they are fine; let them be.

What else is there?

[Silence]

If you expect something timeless from that which is time-ful, would you be wise? If you expect timeless happiness from something that comes and goes, what is the result of that? Suffering. You know that this body is coming and going; all bodies that appear to us are coming and going. When we call something ‘mine’ what is that but an invitation to suffering? This ‘me’ itself is empty of Reality. And what does this ‘mine’ contain? My life, my relationships, my body, my money, my security. How long are all these things going to last?

Now, you might think that this means that ‘I must get rid of all my attachments one by one’. I am not saying that. I am saying check: Right Now, You Are free of them.

The mind, of course, will come and say ‘No, no, no, no, but, but, but, if, if, if, and, and, and, then, then, then.’ And if you just let it come and go, what are you finding about YourSelf?

Are you free or not free?

Not applicable.

Are you the doer or non-doer?

Not applicable.

Because all of this is applied to the ‘cat’ which I thought myself to be.

Now I am finding MySelf to be much beyond the greatest cat ever.

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No Need to ‘Come Back’ To What You Already Are

I might have said the words, but I don’t feel like the meaning behind the words has been to ‘Come back to the Self.’ So, I’m not talking about any ‘come back to the Self’.

I’m saying: You are the Self already, Right Now.

If you didn’t have this notion that ‘I have to drop into the Self’ or ‘Become the Self’…, what are you Right Now?

[Silence]

Tell me what you are Right Now.

Q: [Inaudible]

A:Yes, but that’s another sensation. Even if there is relief and gratitude, that’s another sensation. Now, you can continue to call that ‘me’…, to say ‘I am that’. Or you can really look and say ‘Even these are appearing with in Me’.

What is true? Are they just appearances within You? Or are they what you are?

[Chuckles] So, let’s go back. I said: You Are the Self. What do you see when you check?

Q: [Inaudible]

Very good. But that’s also opening (that is an expansion, or it can be a contraction) just within You. What is that ‘You’ within which all of this is happening?

[Silence]

You see what I’m getting at? We’ve used phenomenal appearances to make a report about what we are. Now we are going beyond just the appearence of phenomena and truly Seeing:

What is it that I am …, in which all these phenomena come and go?

I’m giving you a preposition that You Are the Self.

Now you have to check and tell me if I’m right or wrong.

But it won’t be a feeling ‘I am the Self’. It won’t be a thought ‘I am the Self’. It will be a truer, deeper intuitive insight.

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The All-Inclusive Way for Thoughts

Q:Namaste. I am finding a lot of resistance in the (I don’t know how to put it but) in the letting go, in a way. As I said yesterday as well, I don’t want to exclude anything; I want to include everything. So, saying that I have to let go of a certain thought is limiting in a way.

A:Okay, so let’s try it this way; let’s try to include ‘everything’. If you include everything, what do you find yourself to be?

Q: Space.

A:Space; which itself is all inclusive, isn’t it?

Q:Yes.

A:Now as you include, suppose a little child comes and says ‘But you are a cat’ or ‘You are a monkey’. You will include the appearance of that idea, include the appearance of it, but will you believe it? Or you will still see that ‘No, actually, I see that I am space?’ [Q. nods ‘Yes’]

So, as you are including everything, everything is being accepted, the appearance of it is being accepted, but does that mean that what it is pointing to in terms of your identity is being accepted?

Q: Yes.

A:Yes? So, then that would mean that you are being completely inclusive and then this little child comes and tells you anything, that you are an alien from space, and you go against what you are really seeing about yourself, and you buy into that notion as real; not as a play? Is that your idea of inclusion? Or is it that we are being inclusive that of course the child is entitled to speak whatever it wants to speak?

So, the mind is entitled to speak whatever it wants to speak. It is doing its job and its doing it well. But does that mean that even when what it is saying is opposed to what we are truly finding about ourselves, we must believe what it is saying? See, this is the distinction.

So, we are completely inclusive to the appearance of the mind, it is coming and it’s fine; it’s an aspect of Consciousness which is arising. But does this mean that we will take its word for it, even when it is contrary to our insight about what we are? So, I am saying that this is how most of us have operated, all the time. A little child has been coming and telling us that ‘I am this, I am that’ and we have taken its word for it. Now we are saying: ‘What is it that I truly am? Can I check for myself?’

So, letting go is not a resistance to the appearance of anything, not a pushing away of the mind. We are letting it come and go and we are checking into the veracity of what it is saying.

Is that a fair enough inquiry to undertake?

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The Joy of the Self – Brahmananda

Q:I have to say that most of the time when I check into myself really deeply, I discover that I’m joy.

A: Very good.

Q:And I guess this resistance is coming that now I must let go of that; I’m supposed to go beyond that. But what if I don’t want to go beyond that? What if I am actually happy in that deep joy that I’m feeling? You know?

A:Yes, yes, yes. See joy…, and you will have to tell me what kind of joy. Because joy is a very broad word. There is like an objective joy that you get from tasting a sweet-tasting fruit. That’s an objective joy which comes and goes. There is a joy of Your own Presence which is beautiful. It is not objective, it is not coming and going. So, if you are speaking of this joy, it doesn’t have to go anywhere. In fact, it is the perfume of your Presence, the natural fragrance of it. So, if this is the joy you are speaking of, then no trouble. But if you’re speaking of that objective joy which comes and goes with the coming and going of objects, then you already know that it will be coming and going so you cannot rely on that always. The joy of your Presence is the stable one; your Being.

Q:When I’m feeling like I’m in a bad mood or something and then I check into myself and realize ‘No, I am not that miserable self. I am that joy.’ And now, I guess, the trouble that I am having is that it feels like I am going against my deepest nature to say ‘No, I’m not that joy. I’m space. I don’t care.’ Yeah.

A:The discovery here has been that as I found myself to be this unlimited Being, the joy was my natural fragrance which was here so I didn’t have to hold on to it or push it away or anything like that. If this reassures you in some way, that as You’re coming to the Truth of what You Are, you’ll find that love, peace, joy, all of these are your natural fragrances here. You don’t have to push it aside. In fact, it is very natural. There is another kind of joy which is Brahmananda which means that Joy that does not come and go; even though the states might change from waking, to sleep, to dream. The joy of the Self; Brahman-ananda. The joy of the Self…, which is beyond all conceptual experience.

The simple way to look at this is that when we’ve had enough of this experience, we want to go into this joy of sleeping; and you get very frustrated if sleep is not coming. So, was there something in sleep state? Was there even the tasting of like a phenomenal joy? No. As you are discovering this Truth of the Self in the waking-state, you’ll find that these phenomena of love, peace and Joy are in service to Your Existence. In fact, you’ll have so much of it, you’ll want to cut it into pieces like a cake and distribute it to everyone around. It is so beautiful. My words are not in opposition to joy. In fact, you’ll find that as you’re Seeing YourSelf in Your Truth, all this will naturally will be your fragrance, your perfume.

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How is the Unperceivable Known?

Q:This space which contains everything is also perceivable, but the No-thing which contains space doesn’t seem to be perceivable (even though when I try to see it, the mind creates some image).

A:Very good. So, stay there. You say that ‘this No-thing is not perceivable.’ Beautiful. How is it known?

Q:Something higher knows it.

A:Exactly. And You know it?

Q: But I still…

A:So, the ‘I’ that knows it, is which one?

Q:The small ‘i’ tries to buy it; the knowing.

A:Let it try. What is the Truth? [Silence] This is a very beautiful point he is making. He says ‘It is not perceivable, and yet it is known’. So, what is That which is unperceivable and yet known? What kind of ‘knowing’ is that? This is a beautiful knowing. Because our knowing has been just conceptual knowing or phenomenal knowing. Now he is saying ‘It is unperceivable, and yet I know it’. Which ‘Know’ must this be? (With a capital ‘K’.)

Q: But the small ‘i’ is like ‘What do I do with it?’ [Laughter]

A:See, one good part about the cat story was that it also pointed to a very important truth. What does the cat do? (Don’t be afraid of sounding silly; I’m going to sound very silly in a minute.) The cat does ‘me-ow’. What does it mean? ‘Me’- ‘Ow’. [Chuckles] ‘Me’- ‘Ow’. Any time you pick up the ‘me’, the ‘ow’ is coming. So, this small ‘i’ is going ‘me-ow, me-ow’. Let it. Let it come and go. That is the mantra of the cat anyway. [Silence] What gift do you want to give to the small ‘i’?

Q: I want the small ‘i’ to disappear; not disappear, dissolve.

A:Is it the small ‘i’ that wants the small ‘i’ to disappear? Can we look at this?

Q:Small ‘i’ wants the small ‘i’ to disappear. [Laughter]

A:It is a thief, posing as policeman, wanting to catch the thief. Is the Reality of You in opposition to any appearance?

Q: No.

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Experiencing Does Not Disappear in Realization

Q:I wonder sometimes, what is that ultimate state…, where there is no feeling, where there is no concern about anything?

A:There is no such thing. As long as the waking state appears, the activity of phenomenon will be perceived, which is all-inclusive of whatever the phenomenon might be. There is no such

‘ultimate state’.

It’s just like you have discovered that the hand is the Truth. [Raises one hand and makes a fist] So, suppose now this hand is unmoving, not going anywhere, nothing is happening to it; it is the primal Witnessing, the primal Knowingness Itself. Now [Raises one finger from the fist] the finger came. Now, it’s still the same hand, no? The hand has remained the hand also, but now one qualitative aspect has appeared; let’s call that Consciousness, Being. With the appearance of this Consciousness, the Self has remained the Self only. But now, all the phenomenal play is starting. When the Light of this Consciousness appears, the world of activity [moves the finger in circle] begins. And with the world of activity, all this play of feelings, of events, of actions will happen.

So, there is a distinction between doership (or the sense of doership) and the end of activity. You See that there is no individual doer of actions, and yet activities continue. Even the wanting to be a ‘non-doer’ is a doing. [Chuckles] So, in this realm of activities, the activities will continue to happen, the feelings will continue to come, perceptions will continue to be perceived.

So, the ‘ultimate state’ which you want to know?

You Are. Right now.

Q: That’s where the …

A:Before the ‘but that’s where …’ what are you? Less than ultimate?

Q:No, same.

A:Same. [Chuckles]

Q:But things affect; in the city life, when I go back it gets …, I feel like there is something which needs to be flushed out, some toxins accumulate (or you can say something like that).

A:Yes, because like he was saying earlier, maybe the insight has been given back to this

‘reference point’.

Q: This I don’t understand.

A: Yes. This is very important point and many, many are missing this. This is very important.

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You had the insight that You Are the Self. You met Guruji [Sri Mooji] and in his darshan, you saw that You Are the Self. Did this body see it?

Q: No.

A: The Self was beyond all of this. Isn’t it? So, what does that have to do with this body?

Q: Nothing.

A:So, whether this body continues to react in anger to some situations, or doesn’t react in anger to some situations, what does that have to do with the Self?

Q: Nothing.

A:Then your question was ‘When I go into work…, (which means when this body goes into work) then certain things get to her and she reacts.’ What does that have to do with the Self?

Q: Nothing.

A:Only when we try to own this insight individually, do we continue to use the expressions which are coming from this mouth or the actions that are happening from these hands as some sort of benchmark for the Self.

Q: This I don’t understand.

A:What you found was that You are the Self and all appearances continue to come and go. Isn’t it? Now in all those appearances, this body’s appearance coming and going was included, no?

So, this body was found to be like the waves of the ocean, and all waves are coming and going. Now, if the wave is not going as high one day, or going very high one day, what does that have to do with the ocean? Nothing.

Q:It’s a phenomenon, it will happen. Sometimes high waves, sometimes low waves.

A: Unless you give the insight back to the notion of ‘an enlightened person’…

These words which are being spoken now; I can promise you there is no Ananta which is speaking them. They are just appearing in Consciousness. Your head is nodding right now. It’s just an appearance in Consciousness, and no Deepali is shaking her head. So, all of this is just the movements on the surface of the ocean.

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Better to Ask ‘Who?’ Than ‘Why?’

How many have noticed how much the mind enjoys the ‘Why?’ question? It just loves it.

‘Why is this happening to me? Why me? Why is it like this? Why I am not getting it?’ Three letters, W-H-Y. And it completely abhors the ‘Who?’ question, W-H-O. Just one alphabet [letter] is different. And it is completely attracted to this ‘Why?’ question and completely repelled by this ‘Who?’ question.

Why is it? Why is anything? Consciousness. We are looking for phenomenal answers about phenomenal things; and the only cause of all things is Consciousness Itself.

It sounds like a strange answer, I know. Usually those who have heard from me in Satsang, when they say ‘Why is this happening to me?’ I say ‘Consciousness’. The correlation is not found, but it is the only answer. It is the only cause of all ‘whys’. And all effects are also experienced in Consciousness Itself. But the invitation, right from Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi onwards, is to ask ‘Who?’

Instead of ‘Why me?’ [ask] ‘Who me’? Because till we clarify who we are, the ‘whys’ of this life really don’t make sense.

And we have tried this often, haven’t we? We have made conceptual frameworks about things which will make our life work and then we see that something starts poking and the whole thing comes down like a house of cards. And we start fresh again and we rebuild. We say ‘Okay, this is going to work for me.’ Like you were saying ‘I went to a previous Master. Am I on the right track now?’ So, we are building. And these frameworks don’t work. This so-called knowledge we have about running our life doesn’t work because it’s only conceptual.

We are moving away from conceptual knowledge; which is just belief actually, it’s just opinion. We have many opinions about things, but what do we truly know? We don’t even know (and we can say this for most of this appearing humanity) we don’t even know who we are.

The ‘Who?’ question is very useful now. I would say that if it is at all possible for you to prioritize it over the ‘Why?’ question for some time, you will find that a lot of clarity will come. Because the ‘Why?’ question is dependent on a presumption of ‘me’. And the ‘Who?’ question will lead to clarity about who you are.

The only confusion ever is a confusion about mistaken identity. It can sound too over-arching when I say this. Watch this for some time, and you will see that behind every confusion there is a mistaken identity about who I am. And what is confusion? It is suffering. ‘Why did he do this to me, why did she do this to me, how could I have done that to them?’ …, guilt or grievances, guilt or resentment, false ideas of doership, the idea of desire. If we ask ourselves ‘Who am I?’ then you will see that the ‘Why?’ answer cannot really be given inwards.

There is no reason for anything at all except Consciousness. Some call it ‘The will of Consciousness.’ I can call it just Consciousness Itself. Why is anything the way it is? It’s Consciousness.

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But it doesn’t satisfy the mind, I know this. So, that is why it’s better to ask the ‘Who?’ question for some time. ‘Who am I?’ Then you will see that a lot of things that came up, even things about unworthiness and whether I deserve freedom or not; am I ready? …, and even these are the mistaken identity, isn’t it? It’s not the True Self which is saying ‘Am I ready or not?’ And only the True Self is actually here. You see? If you take that extra step (God pretending to be a person trying to find God) then that is difficult. If you pick up the mask of personhood and then look for God, it is a long, long seeming-journey.

But you know the good news!? Mainly, I’m the bearer of this good news. [Joyous chuckle] It is that: Right Now, You are God. All masks have fallen off on their own. And you will see this also; you are seeing this also. The person is only a pretense of God, only the mask of God.

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Neo: Natural, Effortless, Openness

Sometimes some people derisively call us ‘Neo-Advaita’. You know what that means? So, I have a new definition of Neo: Natural Effortless Openness. [Chuckles] That Advaita I am. If that’s what it implies, I am very happy. It is this natural effortless openness which is just Here on its own. You don’t have to create it, you don’t have to go looking for it. It’s your own gift to YourSelf. Now he said ‘It has to be something more than a mind certificate’ but the mind is the only one not giving you the certificate. Everything else is showing you that you are free actually. Everything is already free. It is just the mind which is not giving the certificate. This is what happens, because we have a three-way conversation going on. I am saying ‘You are free, You are free, You are free’ and the mind is saying ‘Not yet, not yet, not yet’ and you are just getting tired, you know? You got a neck ache now. [Chuckles] You are watching a match between Federer and Nadal (or something) and saying ‘That’s a good move; this will really work now. Oh, okay.’

So, we are having this three-way conversation and you are like the third bird who is witnessing this. There comes a point where it seems like it becomes a one-on-one conversation with the second player. Sometimes (once in a while, like a guerrilla warfare, you know?) it comes up and takes an opportunity and shoots at you. But more or less, you start remaining with this intuitive voice, which is the voice of Your own intuitive Presence. Then you will start to see ‘I am free. Actually, bondage or freedom, both are not applicable, because I am so beyond these attributes.’

To want freedom implies a belief in existing bondage, isn’t it? And that is the trap. To want freedom implies a belief in existing bondage. In your looking, that falls apart. You See that there is none, isn’t it? Then the mind will use every trick, every ace up its sleeve. ‘It can’t be that simple. This can’t be it. Does he even know what he is talking about?’ [Chuckles] ‘Are you sure?’ All these aces it has up its sleeve.

But You Are Free. I can say this about You in every moment, because it is true. I don’t want to address you as a person who needs to get to freedom, because I don’t see it. It is gone. Even if it was believed in the last moment, in this moment, you are fresh, empty of it. But the offer comes from the mind and it has strings attached. When you pick up one notion about yourself, it can seem like that the entire tree of conditioning is back. But the good news is that: Now it is gone. So, it is the mind which is working hard actually every moment to try to present to you something that you can pick up a notion about.

Where is bondage now? How are you bound that you want freedom? How long, will we let the appearance of some sensation, a feeling or a notion, an idea…, how long will Consciousness continue to use these appearances to play as if It is limited? As long as It wants. And that is Your will, as Consciousness Itself. And all of you are so good. I say ‘Look at this space in which all of this is happening.’ You look and you find: It is unlimited. And you See: ‘It is within Me. I am the great spaciousness in which even the great space is born.’ All of you are Seeing it. It’s just a question of when You-as-Consciousness will decide to drop this habit, decide to drop this play of limitation. But the Truth is available Right Now.

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It Is Simple Because It Is Ever-Present

It has to be this simple. Somebody said it can’t be this simple. It has to be this simple, because what have you seen about the truth? It must be that which is ever-present. How can the ever- present take ‘getting to’? Can we today demolish the idea of getting to freedom? ‘I will get it when I deserve it. I don’t know whether I got it. I got something, is this it?’

You have not got it; you will not get to it.

You have not got it; you will not get to it.

You Are It.

It is inescapable.

Now, you can choose to wear the mask of limitation or not; that’s it. Got it? (No.) [Big Laughter]

‘Getting’ implies it is something outside. If you are the Self …, and we looked yesterday; I said ‘Okay, lose yourself and we will go together finding it.’ Did somebody succeed at losing it? You are the Self. How to lose it? This world you might lose, your body you might lose, all your thoughts you might lose, all your feelings you might lose, all sensations you might lose. But You, the one that lost all of that, will still be there.

Q: Why doesn’t it stop?

A:‘Why?’ The ‘Why?’ For who doesn’t it stop? This ‘why’ question; why doesn’t it stop? [Ask instead] ‘For whom doesn’t it stop?’

Did the Self go on a search? Who is searching now? Who is searching now, is that is the Self? Okay, so I have good news for you if you are willing to listen to it.

NOW, the search is gone. [Long silence]

For one moment, Consciousness makes itself infantile, you see; like a baby. In that moment, something is heard. That why maybe Christ said ‘Only the babes will enter the kingdom of heaven’. Children. A child-like innocence comes over us. Because all our grown-up strategies have stopped working. You’ve tried all these various approaches; they don’t work. And Guruji [Sri Mooji] says that when you run out of moves, you become like a baby. A baby is not figuring out where the next feeding will come from. It is completely open to whatever happens. This running out of moves, this tiredness of the seeking; when you have tried all the various approaches there are, and in that moment you hear: ‘But You Are already all that you will never be’ …, and it is heard. It doesn’t become part of your program, part of your strategy.

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How Do I Stay in Unconditional Love?

Q: How do I stay in unconditional love? Why am I not in unconditional love?

A:‘How’ has some more power than the ‘why’ question. ‘How’ implies that I’m open to a pointing. ‘How do I stay in unconditional love?’ Don’t believe any conditions about anything.

All the trouble is only because of the conditioning. As you are dropping (and the good news is) it’s gone; it’s already gone. If you pick up one condition, it seems like they are all back. But again, gone.

How many have heard the conveyor belt example from me? Many of you haven’t heard. So, in a restaurant chain called ‘Yo Sushi’ there is a conveyor belt. They place all the sushi one-by-one in plates on this conveyor belt. This conveyor belt comes next to your table, you pick up whatever you like. There is no waiter, there is nobody to help you; just whatever you want. There is a menu which says what color is what. You pick up that color plate you want.

Now, the mind also operates in this way. It’s a conveyor belt which is offering you conditions, offering you notions. We pick up, we eat it; it is actually gone. So, this moment, it’s all gone. Zero calories. The next offer is coming, the next condition is coming. You can pick it up. At the moment it seems relevant, meaningful to us, it can seem like we are believing a condition about us. Any resistance for unconditional love and it might seem like we are believing a condition about another; but we only believe a condition about ourselves. So, we picked up a condition about ourselves.

Then what can happen is the mind is very smart. It will say ‘Yes, yes, he picked up the salad (she picked up the salad). Let me now serve the main course.’ (which is) ‘See, we told you not to pick up the condition, but you did.’ And you end up picking that one up and then it serves you the dessert, (the most calories). ‘I must not be worthy yet, or I must be distant at this point, I must not be deserving.’ It is served up that way. But actually, the minute that you are done with the dish, it’s over. All conditions have gone now. If I ask you what condition is there now, you will have to think about it first. Naturally, no conditions survive. Isn’t it?

So, because you are condition-less in this moment, I see only unconditional love.

[Silence]

Q:It still seems like I have to keep reminding myself of it. And then the question, that there must be a way that requires less effort.

A:Yes, I know what you’re saying actually, because it seems like our habit has become to pick up a condition so it can seem like it’s too much effort to avoid it. Here what I have tried to do is to make it quite simple (I don’t know whether it sounds simple to most of you). I make myself available Monday to Friday for at least two hours every day. And my feeling is, as you just sit in satang and just are open to what is being shared, all the effort is done automatically. It doesn’t mean that you have to attend every satsang Monday to Friday but whenever you can. Just that

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much effort is enough. Even this sitting in this retreat itself, you can just let yourself go and the pointings will do something on their own.

And I realize that all of us have struggled so hard with practices, with trying to get freedom. So, now I just want to sit in openness with all of you and as the sharing happens, something gets cleaned up on its own. I don’t find much else in this phenomenal play that I can do about it, except blessing all of you, of course, and making myself available in this way.

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This is Your Truth Right Now

Q:What you say is clear, but it does not go deep. It’s not touching and it’s just like a flow and still, like nothing happens and it’s all the same. And you just pointed but it does not come.

A:Is it possible at all (and you can say ‘no’ if it’s not possible) for some time to put the notion of something needing to happen on pause at least?

Q: Notions means the idea?

A:The idea of something needing to happen; if you can just put that on pause, just don’t worry about it for some time. Possible? [Questioner nods] You know how I spoke about my arch- nemesis in the morning, which was ‘the checker guy’ …, this one that is constantly checking: ‘Is it happening, is it happening, am I getting it?’ This one itself is like (as Guruji [Mooji] says) the finger that is blocking the light of the moon or the sun’. Nothing needs to happen; You are the Self. To be the Self, I know that nothing needs to happen. You naturally Are. A happening would mean that you will become the Self, but you will never become the Self. So, for some time, can we forget about something needing to happen?

Q:Yes, it’s like I am looking for…, then it happens, something happens.

A:We are looking for some evidence of our freedom, either emotionally, sensationally; some thought confirming my freedom. I am saying none of that has the power to confirm what You Are.

Q: How to do?

A: What; the forgetting about something needing to happen?

Q: No, to find that it’s ‘I Am’.

A:Okay. Stop Being. Can you try to stop Being?

Q:No, but still I am like this identity.

A:Is this True? (Let’s go very slowly). You are existing, right now> Are you existing as an identity? To exist as an identity, first you have to think about it. But even before you can think about it, your existence is here, isn’t it?

Q: Yes.

A:If you see this, it is very good. Because we have believed the presumption that ‘I must be already a person, an identity sitting here and I have to get to God.’ What I am pointing out to you is that God is sitting here, but you can decide to play as a person by picking up a notion, the idea, of an individual. [Silence] I see God. What do you see?

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Q: It’s like a habit to play that.

A:Habit, yes. This is very good itself; to see that it is just a habit. God has somehow given Itself this habit. That’s why Guruji says ‘Satsang is a rehab for God, by God Himself’ [Chuckles] …, where God is speaking, and God is hearing and coming to the recognition that it is God.

And many times, I have even heard a ‘why’ question about this. ‘Why does God do it this way?’ My favorite answer is, you know, if you’ve been to a movie, then it seems like the bad guys are winning for long time; for one hour the bad guys kept winning, kept winning, kept winning, and in the end the good guy, he just fires one shot; all over, finished. (If it doesn’t work like that, it’s not enjoyable.) So, the play of delusion happened over a period of time. A play of delusion (I know it sounds irritating to some of you but it) was enjoyed by Consciousness, to its fullest extent. And now the play of getting out of delusion is also being enjoyed by Consciousness, to its fullest extent…, you know, with popcorn, the movie scenes are happening, satsangs are coming [Laughter], Masters are coming, such beauty, sangha, beautiful brothers, sisters, they are coming. So, even the getting out of delusion is happening with these beautiful scenes being played out. But what was the Truth? You are always that God Itself; playing with delusion and playing with freedom.

Q: Still, I want to see it.

A:You are seeing it. That which Sees all of this, is that bound? That which is Seeing all of this, what can we say about That?

Q: Just Is.

A:Is It an object in this movie? Can you find that one? Where is It? This side? That side? Behind you? In front? The One that Sees all of this, is It another object in this movie itself?

Q: Yes, like what is seen, like a space; but still.

A:That which Sees even the space; what is aware of even the space? The very space of your Existence itself is witnessed by what?

Q: By Me.

A:Now that ‘You’ …, where is it? Is it in this three-dimensional world?

Q:I don’t know.

A:You have looked everywhere for it but you’ve not found it in this three-dimensional world, it’s not even in fourth-dimension of time because we have looked over a period of time.

When you say ‘go inside’, where do you go? Do you go inside the body? Inside the body, there is brain, there are teeth, jaw. When we say ‘go inside’ we leave this four-dimensional realm and we see our greater Truth which is beyond these four dimensions.

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This secret has always been there with us…, if we leave this universe, in that moment of going inside. But the mind comes in and says ‘You are going inside the body.’ [Chuckles] That would be like sending a probe inside the body; you will see this flesh and blood. Not ‘going inside the body’ …, you are leaving this universe. You already are there. Where is this Awareness located?

That’s why the sage Ashtavakra said: ‘You are the boundless ocean in which the arcs of these universes, they come and go.’ Because you are beyond this play of time and space; already are. And you will not see it as a thing. So, if you are expecting to see something; then know that it will not be a thing that you will see. You know that you are aware, isn’t it? Are you aware? Or no? [Chuckles] Because even if you say no, what you would be saying is that ‘I am aware that I am unaware.’ This Awareness is inescapable.

I am not scared of the ‘no’ answer. [Chuckles] I know you are hesitating a bit. But actually, what would you mean by saying ‘no’? You will be saying ‘I am aware that I am not aware.’ This Awareness is inescapable, isn’t it? What is the color of this Awareness?

Q: No color.

A: Shape or size?

Q: Nodding. [No shape and size]

A:So, is there anything in this three-dimensional world which is without any quality? Shape or size? Color? Duration? [Silence] Getting the question? Is there anything in this phenomenal world which has no quality; no color, no shape, no size?

Q: Still didn’t get it.

A:So, this glass [picks up glass] even if we say it is transparent, we are pointing to a quality of the glass. Is there anything in this phenomenal world, this world of appearances which doesn’t have a single quality? [Questioner nods ‘nothing’]

What about this Awareness? That which is beyond quality is not an object of the phenomenal world. You are out of this universe already. The universe is in You.

(It’s only second day of retreat, I should keep quiet for some time.) [Laughter]

This is your Truth. You will not see it as some ‘thing’. But what is the Seeing itself? If you investigate That, you will see that it is colorless, shapeless, size-less and it is ‘I’ …, that ‘I’ which is no-thing.

Q: It seems that I should find something like ‘I’ where I can stay; like emerge or something.

A: I should stay what?

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Q: Emerged. Someplace that I should find, where I will feel like space-less.

A:Every day you experience this, in that which is called sleep. But as long as the waking state is arising, the play of these phenomenal appearances will continue to arise. But the appearance of the waking state makes no difference to the Self (just as movement of the finger does not make any difference to the hand). So, the Self remains untouched, whether the waking state is there, the dream state is there or sleep state is there. You are beyond these states.

This You is this pure Consciousness, pure Awareness.

This is your Truth right now.

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Three Cardinal Signs of the Ego

Q:You had mentioned three cardinal signs of the ego. First was ‘What’s in it for me?’ Two, I think was ‘Me first before you’. And third, I have forgotten. So, I’m hoping that you can revisit that. It’s appropriate.

A:We said it (half-jokingly, actually; it’s half a joke, not fully a joke) because I have said many times that the maha-mantra of the mind, maha-mantra of the of the ego is ‘What’s in it for me?’

We got so used to entering every situation with this ‘How is this bringing value to me? Am I getting this? Am I learning this? What am I getting in this way?’ So that’s the maha-mantra; the constant. That’s why most of our attention actually has been dissipated with this looking at the events in front [of us] and also half the time looking at this maha-mantra saying ‘What’s in it for me? Am I getting this? How am I being perceived?’ So, it’s about self-image and what you are getting out of this. This is the first.

The second is ‘Me first.’ [Smiles] Yeah, whether we admit it or not, a lot of times in our life it is about this ‘me first.’ So, if somebody cuts in front of you in the car on the way to work, it’s ‘How could you do that? I was going first!’ So, this is ‘Me first’. Also, it is available to see in sangha behavior, isn’t it? That ‘Me first, me first; I want to be the first to get it.’

The third one is the minor corollary which is ‘If possible, me only.’ [Laughs] ‘If possible, could we make it so only I am enlightened?’ Just, you know… [Chuckles]

So, this is how the mind functions. And I was joking after that, saying that in Satsang, in the sangha, it is usually okay if nobody is getting it; everybody is fine. When nobody is getting it, everybody is fine. But if somebody seems to be getting it, then that is big satsang, big trouble! [Laughing and laughter in the room] ‘But I have been here for a hundred more satsangs than him! How…!? [Laughter]

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Bondage is Never Real, But Pretense is a Play

A:What I am actually saying to all of you is that whether you are here in Satsang, whether you are outside Satsang, you are always free and the bondage is never real…, but it is a pretense. You know this pretense? If I am play-acting, then that is pretense. I am pretending to be something I am not. So, Consciousness has been playing this pretense, but it is playing a pretense because it is free to play the pretense. Even in the play of the pretense, the freedom is there. It is not trapped in the pretense. Even the ‘playing trapped’ it is playing.

I want to tell you that because it makes the problem (the seeming-problem) less serious. Otherwise it can seem like…, there is a term for cancer, they call it the ‘emperor of maladies’.

Q: Yes this ‘i’ is very serious; the speaker is very serious.

A:So, this one, especially for the spiritual speaker, seems like the emperor of maladies. (‘I have the most serious affliction.’) So, when I tell you that it is just a pretense and your freedom actually is unaffected by it, then…, because if I catch you in the middle of the road, you could be arguing with the auto rickshaw guy in that moment and I catch you and say ‘Show me that which is bound right now.’ [Silence] In that moment, you will not find that one.

So, the Truth is always present, but the ‘pretense’ is picked up when we pick up a notion about ourself, an idea about ourself. And also the second part of the seeming-problem is also not as serious as you make it seem like. (‘I have to speak through this ‘i’.) Actually, you are not.

Did you think about every single word that you were going to say just before the words came and they came exactly like that? No. There was no time for that. Just spontaneously, these words ‘came’. Even that is part of the pretense. You were not speaking through the ‘i’. The ‘i’ (this mind) is just a bundle of thoughts. The ‘i’ is just a make-believe. You cannot actually achieve any action through it. It is not a physical entity. The mask is not even a physical, tangible mask. It is just a pretense.

You are not speaking through the ‘i’. Consciousness is speaking. The ‘i’ is not here. This small ‘i’ is not here. It is this big ‘I’ which Itself is the Source of all action. These words are coming out. Even if the words are saying ‘I am speaking through this small i’…, it is not true. They are just appearing in the light of your Being.

Now, you will start to see more and more that just as these words are appearing, those words are appearing. I know; because here also there was an idea at one time (before I met Guruji [Mooji]) that there is somebody here individually speaking these words.

Q:I know that it is not true, but experientially, most of the time it feels like this. And as long as it feels like this, I have to admit it is like this. I cannot just say ‘Okay, I am free.’

A: Now the best laboratory for this is: Right Now.

Q: Yes, that’s why I am showing up so much.

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A: And when these words are coming, who is speaking them?

Q: Nobody’s speaking them, and still I feel that personal energy is still here.

A:See you have to go there first. [Points to head] [Chuckles] But everything after the ‘But…’

[points to head] you had to go there to say it; no? When I see that you go to this one [points to head] that was just an appended notion. You already said ‘Nobody is speaking them.’ But for the ‘But…’ you had to refer to some idea about yourself. Let’s try again.

Q: [Takes a breath and looks down] But … [Laughter in the room]

A: Now, as you are speaking these words, just notice where they are coming from.

Q: No actually not from the head. I can say ‘But…’ without the head.

A:Yes, that is also possible, as Consciousness. I’m not saying all ‘But’ has to come from the head.

Q:Experientially, personal energy is here.

A:What does that mean?

Q:That means that I feel myself limited.

A:Show me this feeling, how is it? What is it?

Q: I can’t show the feeling, but you can feel my energy now, I am sure.

A: I can feel only Consciousness. [Laughter]

Q: No, you …, I am sure you feel some contractions.

A:The contraction doesn’t create the ‘me’. The contraction is just a contraction.

Q:So, it’s just an interpretation.

A:The interpretation makes us pick the mask of ‘me’, the pretense of ‘me’. The contraction and expansion both happen in Consciousness. And you’re right that I can experience the contraction, I can experience the expansion. It’s true. But both are Consciousness for me.

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This No-Thing is Not Nothing

A:Okay, how about we forget the notion of freedom. When I see you as free, it is not a notional freedom that I see. I see that for what You Are, freedom or bondage is not applicable to That. If you see the space and I say ‘What is the shape of this space?’ …, what do you see?

Q: Space.

A:So, it is not applicable; the shape is not applicable to space. And You are more spacious than space. To bind You; nobody has the instrument to bind You. Who can bind this space? How can I tie it up?

Q: I have this vision that I am nothing, actually. Then there is no ‘I’ at all.

A:Well, that is a Pandora’s Box. Do you have the energy to look into this one? The nothing notion? [Yes] See, ‘nothing’ …, many times, when we hear that you are nothing, it can seem like what is being said by the Sage is that you’re essence-less; empty of all essence. But that is not what the Sage is pointing to. The Sage is saying that Your Essence is no-thing. It is still Your Essence, the Absolute Self. It is no-thing …, but it is Your Essence.

What’s a good example? If this table is empty and I would say ‘What’s on this table?’ you would say ‘Nothing’. Because it is empty, you say ‘Nothing’. The Self is not that ‘nothing’ which is the absence of all things. It is That Essence from which all things arise. Although Itself empty of all qualities, all qualities arise from it. What are the words? [Speaks in Sanskrit and someone in sangha says it correctly back to him]

It is beautiful verse, which means ‘From fullness or wholeness, fullness comes.’ From That which is whole, the whole appears. And yet, in the appearance of this wholeness, the wholeness of That which it appeared from did not change. So, it is not an empty nothing; it is a whole no- thing, which is attributeless. That which is aware of all things but Itself is empty of all qualities. So, it is no-thing…, but it is not nothing.

Another example I took the other day was [Picks up a full glass of water] if there was no water in this glass, would you say there is nothing in the glass?

Q: [Nods head] Yes, I heard this.

A:Oh, you heard this. Okay, well suppose I had some other object. But still, the space to contain something would be there. So, it is not nothing. (Okay, if it is getting too much just tell me to stop.) [Chuckles]

If it was nothing, then it could not hold anything also. Like the ‘blue cat’ is notional, it is nothing; it cannot have flesh and blood. This no-thing, the Truth, the Self, gives birth to the space which contains all things. That is why I’m saying that when we hear the term ‘nothing’ many times we get into this sort of ‘empty void’ sort of thing, which is like there’s just nothing. But what you’re discovering is that you are discovering Your true Essence, which is not a thing.

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The Position of ‘Trying to Get Enlightened’

Q:Actually, for many years, I have been playing with some notions. And to some extent you have answered those questions of mine. But I just wanted to get some reassurance because I know this ‘checker guy’ would come back because it has been a habit for many years. So, the first notion which I was playing with was enlightenment. And I would meditate for some time and then I would ask ‘Where is my bliss? Why is it not happening with me?’ And ‘What are these guys talking about, bliss and ecstasy? Why is it not happening with me?’ So, I think I’m coming to this conclusion that I should not be looking for enlightenment; if it has to happen, it will happen. The other thing which you.,.

A:Suppose you didn’t even have this conclusion?

Q:Yeah, I mean, I just need to be open.

A:Yes, that’s a better conclusion, but suppose not even this one? [Laughter] We will get used to not having any conclusions, because conclusions make positions. And positions are the opposite of this vastness. Position implies limitation. That which is unlimited can have no position.

Q: Yeah.

A:So, now the enlightenment concept; have no position with regard to it. Suppose. How would that be?

Q:Maybe I am taking this position of being in ‘Is-ness’ or being in ‘Am- ness’. I don’t know whether it’s a position or not.

A:As you’re position-less, that’s what You Are. You don’t have to take that position. You don’t need a notion to come to Is-ness. That Is-ness is not coming and going. We might say, like I have been saying, Shankara said something like this; he said ‘We can say pot IS, cloth IS …, but pot and cloth might come and go. But the Is-ness is not coming and going.’ So, in your position-less- ness, Is-ness is still there.

Q:And the other milestone which I used to attach with spiritual progress is the thoughts that you have, the feelings that you have. And I think just before coming here, I saw you at Satsang and you mentioned that that has no relation with your Is-ness. That was a big shocker for me because I thought that if you are making spiritual progress, you will have a different kind of thoughts or you will have no thoughts; lust cannot come (and you mentioned that even lust can come). So, this is something which completely demolished my concepts which I had earlier. But I would like you to please dwell on that.

A:Let’s look at it even intellectually, with intellect. We are talking about freedom. And all our ideas about freedom are how consciousness binds itself to be only a certain way once it is free. Does that make sense? That ‘Now that I am free, I cannot have lust.’ But then where is the freedom? [Laughter] ‘But if I am free then it must only be this way.’ That doesn’t sound like

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freedom to me. That ‘Free guy’ then sounds very much like control. [Makes a robotic gesture] ‘You have to be only this way.’

Freedom means everything is allowed to appear. This does not mean I am making some sort of Advaita excuses. It’s not like…, many times we hear that many can say ‘Therefore I can just do whatever I want.’ I am not talking about that. I am just saying freedom must mean freedom. No? If freedom comes with set of rules that ‘Just this, this, this, this’ then where is the freedom?

Q:But that leads me to the other question in my mind. If that is the case, then how would you know that you are (I am using this terminology but I am sure you can understand) how would you know you are making progress? Because if you feel you are still the same, you still have the same feelings, you still think the same, you still have the same lust…, and you have also taken away enlightenment or bliss away from me. [Laughter] So, I am the same guy. The same guy had lot of fears and I used to feel (even now sometimes, I feel lonely) What is the yardstick? I mean, I am going on the right path or not? Because then I would not see myself any different to the next guy who’s not doing any of this.

A:Yes. Most importantly what will change is the pointer. Have you heard this term, the pointer? Have you had some technology experience?

Q: No

A:So, when I used to do programming (I used to, in college and things) there was this term called ‘pointer’. This was the pointer; it could point to something. So, ‘I’ is now pointing to this one [points to the body] the boundary one. This pointer [spreads arms wide to indicate unlimitedness] will point to No-thing. So, when you say ‘I was that way and now I continue to be the same’ …, is it pointing to the same ‘I’? [Silence] What is the true ‘I’?

Q:The limitless…, but which I have not experienced until now. I would also not say that as well. In a moment, yes; in that moment as everybody has the same feeling that yes, at the moment, I can feel that. I don’t feel that I am limitless or boundary-less. I just feel that there’s just nothing; I am No-thing.

A:Your limit-less-ness is not a feeling and it’s not an experience. It’s Your Existent Reality. Tell me your boundary Now?

Q:I have to make an effort to say this, that I have no boundary. I think what comes easily is that there is No-thing.

A:That No-thing is enough for me. [Chuckles]. That No-thing means no attribute at all.

Q:Yes.

A: So, ‘I’ is pointing to that?

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While you contemplate that, Guruji [Sri Mooji] calls the I ‘the chameleon I’. I can be pointed to the body, to the mind. He says ‘God says I; the devil also says I’. So, this ‘I’ is more like a reference pointer. Where is it pointing to? It has pointed to the non-existent one, and now we are Seeing what is That which I can really rely on; the unchanging; that ‘I’ which is not coming and going. So, this ‘I’ is the Self.

So, it could be that the activities in your life could be the same. That’s why the Zen master said ‘Before enlightenment chopping wood, fetching water; after enlightenment chopping wood, fetching water.’ I have added two words to that (they would forgive me hopefully) which is ‘or not’. Because even that we cannot predict. Because many times, that itself becomes a condition, that ‘It must be like that otherwise you are not enlightened…, because a Zen master said that.’ [Chuckles] It can continue to be like that. It means nothing about your freedom. Whether you continue to chop wood and fetch water has nothing to do with your freedom.

Q:And in this phenomenal life, when you have to make decisions about your life, how do you know it’s coming from your Being and not from your mind? Because you are always in this confusion ‘What am I going to do next? Is it right for me or not?’ How do we make that distinction?

A:As you are withdrawing your belief in your limitedness, you will find that there is a deeper intuitive guidance which appears. And how to distinguish this one from the mind? And it doesn’t have to be like a voice or anything; it could just be like a deep urge to walk this way, to say this. It can be like that. Now this intuitive Presence, this guidance, you can taste because it has

Presence of peace, of ‘no rush’. The mind is always grasping, it is always wanting. (What’s in it for me?) It’s always grasping something, it always wants a particular outcome. This intuitive

Presence is not in a rush, not wanting, not pushing towards any outcomes. This you will see. It will become more and more apparent to you. Till then you will see that, as you are empty of all these notions about yourself, life continues in a way. And if there is confusion about whether it is mind or it is intuitive guidance, leave all voices. See how life will take care of itself. Guruji [Sri

Mooji] says ‘Leave existence to Existence.’

Q: Thank you.

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Yearning for the Ultimate

Q: When the mind is jumping, even though it comes and goes, then what to hold onto?

A:Hold on to Your Presence. [Silence] If you feel there’s something to hold onto, then you can hold onto Presence. If you feel like you’re okay without any holding, then just leave everything.

Both are the same. Whether you hold onto your Presence or you leave everything, it is the same.

Q: How about going about the daily business without any undercurrents of tension?

A:Yes, as you hold on to your Presence, then you will see that daily business continues to happen. You don’t worry. And even when tension is there, tension is there. Don’t hold on to the idea of tension, hold on to your Presence.

Q: Okay. Phenomenal tension is okay. I have no problem with that.

A:What other type? A non-phenomenal tension is there? [Everyone laughs]

Q:This tension of, you know, of [wanting] that ultimate state.

A:That’s also phenomenal.

Q:That’s also phenomenal?

A: Tension about anything; be it the ultimate or be it lunch [Laughter] is phenomenal.

Q:So, I don’t want to hold on to anything. But that yearning…, will it die if I don’t want? Or what should be here?

A: Anything there?

Q:Yes, I want to experience the oneness, the beauty, the ultimate grace. Not experience, but be established in.

A:Yearning, the longing for the truth, doesn’t even rely on the notion of the truth for the yearning to be there. The yearning, that which we are calling longing, is not a mental want. What we call the longing is that which is just this natural inclination towards that which is real, which is true. And that is just there. It doesn’t need any supplement from the mind; it doesn’t need any notional support. No position had to be taken with regard to it. It’s like a natural momentum is provided to this life to move in the direction of this coming to Satsang, exploration of the self, inquiry.

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Try to Stop Being and You See You Can’t Stop

Q:Also, sometimes it felt like even to ask this, sometimes it just goes ‘there is no point.’ Just because it comes from time to time, I think it’s best to clarify, you know? [The difference between ‘I Am, I Exist’ and Awareness]

A: It’s good because we can all look at this together.

Q:Sometimes it feels so real. So, I feel those moments are still coming when I feel identified. So, maybe just bring it up to clarify.

A:To get to this sense of Existence that I am speaking of, the simple thing you have to do is: Try to stop Being.

And you know this; you have heard this from me before. So, this, when you try to stop Being, you see quickly that that’s absurd. You see quickly that you can’t stop. So, this Being, which is just present, cannot be stopped…, is this Existence that I am talking about.

Now, you are aware of this, isn’t it? [Silence] Otherwise, it will have to be somebody else’s report that ‘I can’t stop Being.’

Q:It feels like…, I would call it as what Guruji [Sri Mooji] says, a ‘non-phenomenal feeling.’ (Yes.) It would be the same feeling as ‘I Am’ or ‘I am aware.’ So, maybe I could say more like

…, because it’s not any of the body sensations, nor thoughts; and none of the thoughts can be aware of feelings and none of the feelings can be aware of thoughts. But something else is there.

It cannot be touched, it cannot be seen, and this is the only way I can know it. But it’s Known (non-phenomenally) like this. [“Yeah”]

A:What time did you wake up today? [Questioner thinking] You don’t have to be so precise.

[Chuckles]

Q: Six-thirty.

A:So, what changed at six-thirty?

Q:I became consciously aware.

A:As long as this little qualitative difference is perceived, there was no-thing and suddenly

‘Here I was’ …, and the time seemed to be six-thirty. So, actually it is One Self. We don’t have to be so concerned about it; but this qualitative distinction of ‘Existing’ and that which is even before the sense of Existence, before ‘I Am’…, to See that there was nothing. Otherwise, the sleep state would be like a mythical thing. And it’s not a mythical thing. I say ‘Did you go to sleep last night?’ Yeah. So, it is your experience. But it is an experience where there was nothing…, but You were still there as No-thing, to have the experience of nothing. And then, the most primal appearance arises, which is ‘I Am’. ‘I existed at six thirty; but before six thirty …’

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Q:My experience would be more ‘I Am, I exist’ and now I am starting to be aware of the body sensations and mind sensations.

A:Yes. But first You have to be there for any sensation, isn’t it? Has there been any sensation without You there?

Q:No. Yeah, and then I become aware of (not aware, but just this Knowing) that I exist not as the body, not as the mind.

A:Because it takes you a moment or two to reconcile that even this body is here. You might not have looked at it so closely, but in the first moment [upon waking up from sleep] we are reconciling which world is this. What is here now? But all of this reconciliation happens after You exist. [Yeah] So, this is the sense of existence. That’s why [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘In the waking state the best we can do, the truth we can speak, is ‘I Am’ …, but ultimately even this is not the ultimate Truth’ (or the primal Truth). Because That which is aware of even the coming and going of the states of waking, dream, sleep, deeply meditative states…, that one is the One

Unchanging. [“Okay”]

A:It is You. [Chuckles]

Q:Okay.

A:But this does not mean that there is a distinction. That’s why the useful analogy is the finger and the hand. [Example Ananta uses: ‘When I raise my finger from this hand, are there two? The finger comes from the one hand; it’s still one.]

Q:It’s just basically one is aware of Itself, kind of …, because there is no different non- phenomenal sensation of Awareness and non-phenomenal sensation of ‘I Am’ (let’s say).

A:We can settle for this. Right now, we don’t have to worry. If you really wanted to get into it, then you would say that you are aware of Existence.

Q: Yeah. Of the body sensation? Or just .., Existence?

A: Just Existence. Like ‘Can you stop Being?’

Q: Yeah, yeah. I cannot.

A:‘Can you stop Being?’ is a little different question from ‘Are you Aware now?’ But it is only a qualitative distinction, and you don’t have to stress about it.

Q:Okay, so, yeah. It’s not like sometimes you can just go to ‘I Am’ and sometimes you can go to Awareness; it’s the same thing, it’s just…

A: It’s the One Self. (Let’s make it simpler). It’s just the One Self.

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Wherever You May Wander, You Are Home

The Self is your natural state. (It is not a ‘state’ actually. We can use that term.) It is naturally what You Are.

Now, how many steps do you have to walk to get to it?

And even if you walk a few steps, can you lose it?

That’s the beautiful thing about this. Where ever you may wander, you are home. But you have given to yourself this power to pretend as if you are not. That’s all!

How many feel that the separation actually has happened and I need to put it back together again?

I was joking (maybe with a child) the other day and I said ‘All the king’s horses and all the king’s men could not put Humpty Dumpty back together again’. So, if the Self was broken, nobody can do it. If it is divided, nothing can put it together.

You have continued to be the undivided Self. No separation has actually ever happened.

We’re just playing this game of pretense, delusion and recognition. That’s why this is the leela, the play, of Consciousness itself. (It is not even that, actually, but it is my favorite explanation to give you because it is unexplainable.) In reality, there is no answer to ‘Why?’ Remember. Why does this happen? My favorite answer is: Consciousness or the leela of Consciousness.

So, what ‘trying’ still remains? We were talking last night, some of us. They said ‘Some contraction appears or some fear comes.’ So, I said ‘What tools do you have to pluck out that fear?’ The appearance of the fear is there, attention goes to this fear and the fear becomes apparent. Then the interpreter will come with a notion about this fear and say ‘This should go.’ And you can give your assent to this notion, and you can take this position that ‘I don’t want this fear to be’ …, but to pluck the fear out, what is the tool that you have? Nothing.

Just the noticing of it is enough, actually; just the attention going to it is enough. We don’t have to take a position with regards to it. And in the play of this world, it seems like the position that we take seems to amplify it actually. The resistive position that we take seems to amplify it. When we pick up the notion that ‘It should not be’ …, let’s call that ‘resistance’. And in that notional position, in the play (it seems like it is designed that) that which was just with our attention, now along with that notion, it seems to be bigger. It doesn’t really become bigger but it seems to be bigger.

What I am saying is: Leave your attention to do exactly what it wants. See how that turns out. Because actually, this trying to move attention (although we can talk about it and we do) actually even that is notional. Because the One that moves attention is not the identity.

What does attention report back to? It is our own Self. So, when I say ‘open’ this is what I mean actually: Let your attention go wherever it has to go.

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What You’re Finding is What You’ve Always Been

Q:Can you look with me? You know, when you asked Shivani ‘What can you control?’ it felt like I can control my attention.

A: If you let go of that sense of control…

Q:But it led me to the sense that there was…, that I wanted to control my thoughts. Then it went to controlling thoughts, so…

A:So, let’s look at this attention thing properly. It’s a great opportunity to go to what Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] was saying. ‘Either surrender or inquire.’ Surrender means ‘Let it be. Wherever it wants to go, it can go.’ Inquire means ‘Who is attention reporting to?’ or ‘Whose attention is this? Who is controlling attention?’ Either way, we will come to that ‘let go’ state.

Q: So, can we inquire?

A: Letting go doesn’t seem easier? [chuckling]

Q:No, it doesn’t seem to be easier because it feels like you let it go but you seem to pick it up. I’m talking about myself. It seems that it gets picked up again and again.

A:Okay. And that’s also fine actually, because letting go means it can go wherever it wants. But if you want to look at it, it is a beautiful contemplation to see ‘Where does attention come back to? or ‘Where does attention come from?’ Because here in this contemplation, all qualitative distinctions in the Self, they dissolve. You will not be able to say ‘Attention reports back to the dynamic aspect of the Self, which is Consciousness or that non-phenomenal Self.’ You will see that it reports back to the One Self, empty of any distinction. Tell me if this resonates with what you are Seeing.

Q:What I’m still seeing what you made me [see]. I’m still seeing that. I’m so confused now because it was going back to an ‘I’ which was just still.

A:So, what happened to it? [Chuckling] Attention was reporting back to an ‘I’ which was still, so now the ‘I’ is what?

Q: But I don’t know who that ‘I’ is.

A:So, ‘I’ doesn’t know who the ‘I’ is? Which is more real? The ‘I’ which is the still one or the ‘I’ which doesn’t know? Which one is actually here? Show me that one which is confused by it. Show me the confused ‘I’. Confused ‘I’…, hazir ho. [Confused I, present yourself!] Present the confused ‘I’.

Q: There are no two ‘I’s.

A: Then you’re saying ‘one still ‘I’…, I’ve got.’

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Q: That’s the confusion.

A:The confusion is there, but whose is it?

Q:It’s the one who’s trying to find the ‘I’.

A:What did I say yesterday? I said all confusion is about a mistaken identity. ‘I am confused.’ In that statement, what is the mistaken identity?

Q: It’s that ‘I’ …, that ‘I’m something’.

A:Where is that ‘something’? I would completely respect it even if it had a tangible existence, even phenomenally. Show me this ‘something I’.

Q: Other than a feeling, it’s not there.

A:A feeling cannot be I. A feeling is just a feeling.

Q:Yes.

A:It’s just a sensation. Are You a sensation?

Q:No.

A:That’s why I said the other day, how long will Consciousness point to a sensation and call it I? That is the play of Consciousness. It can taste the sensation, it can find joy in the experience of that sensation, but because the sensation is present, does it become the entirety of You, or at best a small aspect of You?

Q: Father I, I know, I mean… [Mumbling]

A:Okay, Right Now, there is no confusion, okay? You know this very well. Because for confusion, you need two conflicting notions; and all notions are gone. Now, Ms. Consciousness, how would you like to play next? [Chuckling]

Q: It feels…

A:Slow it down; really slow it down. So, when it feels, there is feeling.

Q:It feels like there are two there.

A:So, there’s a feeling of two.

Q:One who just knows and one who wants to find; another who wants to surrender. It’s noise.

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A: Show me. Are they tangible entities? Or are they just ideas?

Q: I can notice now that I’m trying to find this Self in a tangible way.

A:Yes, and Bhagavan said what? The trouble with Self inquiry for many of you is that you are trying to look for ‘some-thing’ when you ask the question ‘Who am I?’ I’ve often said the best way for Self-inquiry is ask the question ‘Who am I?’ and then leave it unmolested with your answers. You keep harassing it with your answers and then it feels like it becomes confusing.

The questioning itself is enough; because the inquiry happens, the question directs, in this play, directs the looking in that way on its own. You don’t have to answer. This is not a classroom. Because our habit has become to find the best answer and therefore get ten-on-ten, we feel like we’re doing well when we have the right answer. You see?

The Self will not be an answer. In fact, you will come to this beautiful ineloquence. You will say ‘But this is a game! What do you mean ‘Tell me what I have found’? Nobody can tell you.’ And all these pointers will also seem hollow. These words ‘Consciousness, Awareness’ will mean nothing. When you see what You Are then all these milestones, pointers, become irrelevant.

Q: I will just sit down.

A:Yes, but don’t carry a limited ‘I’ on your backpack as you’re making this journey. Because if it’s still whispering in your ear…, what is that Indian story? Vikram and betal [Laughing] whispering ‘Ahh, this is what you’re finding.’

What you’re finding is what You have always been.

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Level Confusion

A:When the ‘I Am’ is here, this entire world appearences comes into play. You have nothing to do with that play.

This is what I call ‘level confusion’. [You said] ‘I see that I am beyond even ‘I Am’ and that’s why I didn’t want to come up.’ [To the chair and mic] So, you are talking about two different I’s in same sentence. Isn’t it?

When we take our insight and apply it back to an individual seeming-body/mind, that’s when we do (are trying to do) what I jokingly say as ‘We find the ocean and then we try to fill it back into coconut.’

What you are discovering is your limitless Self. But then you are trying to associate that with your body somehow. What does this mean for the body? Nothing. You already said that ‘The body, mind and the entire world is just appearing and disappearing.’

Q: It’s just a kind of nothing.

A:Yes. [Chuckles] Even that is the part of the play itself. But there are some alarm clocks in the play which say ‘ting-ting’. And it’s a common aspect of our so-called spiritual journey, that all of you have had true insights about YourSelf, but then you are still trying to correlate it back to what it means for your emotions or your sensations or your body. But you’ve already found that this, all of this, is movements on the surface of your Existence. The greater part of You is untouched by any of this and therefore, you can just let it be.

[Silence]

What does the insight you had about YourSelf have to do with this structure of flesh and blood? [Ananta puts his hand on that one’s arm] What does it have to do with this? [body] Can this one own that? [Chuckles] Can some blood, flesh and bones…, own that? No.

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When We Lose Distinctions, All Is Just One Self

A:Suppose you had nothing to do about it…, if a feeling of some constriction is there, it is there.

You noticed it and that is more than enough.

Q: Okay.

A:Nothing has to happen because of this. So, to take this metaphor even further, whatever is appearing in this body now has not even changed the position of your sitting. So, how could it have changed the position of the Self?

Q: Yeah. But what to do? I mean, noticing is there.

A:That’s it. What other tools do you have? So, the lump [of constriction in your throat] is there. As I was joking yesterday; do you have a shovel that you can take the lump out and shovel it off? [“No.”] There is no such shovel, no?

Q: But it doesn’t dissolve by noticing.

A:So, let’s dig in to deeper. All you can do is: attention (which means noticing). And when the notion comes about it, to not believe that notion. So, one notion is ‘It should dissolve’ or ‘Why doesn’t it dissolve?’

Q:But that’s not expectation; I am just observing. So, paraphrasing again, so you say noticing is enough. How is that enough?

A:It is enough because ‘What IS just IS’. If you have no expectation of how this should turn out, then it is enough. If you have an expectation of how this should turn out, then it can seem like it is not enough.

How do you know that lump has to dissolve? Maybe it has to become bigger and bigger and stronger and stronger. You don’t know that it is a lump also. It is just an energetic appearance, isn’t it? [“Yes.”]

Based on energetic differences, sometimes people say ‘Oh, this is just a lump.’ Others interpretation for them who are trying to do this kind of thing we will say ‘This is Chakra.’ Some are celebrating ‘Chakra is coming.’ Some are upset that a lump is here. [Smiles] How you know what it is? They are just various ways of interpreting what is appearing, interpreting Consciousness. You don’t have to. As you lose all distinctions, you will see ‘All is just One Self”. And many times, benchmarks get created because of what is happening with others in Satsang. Every experience will be unique. I was saying yesterday that we have not heard of two Sages who had exactly the same journey to get to the Self. Because if we had, then that would just become a template. ‘Yes, do this, this, this.’ Map out their life journey and say ‘This is what you have to do to get to the Self.’ But in imitation, we don’t get it.

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This Question: Are You Aware?

Q:So, I’m not sure if I’m getting the question itself, the ‘Are you aware?’ It’s kind of clear what is this. ‘Are you aware of the table?’ Yes. Or ‘Are you? Do you exist?’ I can say yes. And ‘Are you aware? is kind of is empty for me. I don’t know…

A:Good, good, this is good so let’s start there. When I say ‘Are you hearing this voice?’ you will say yes, because you know what ‘hearing’ is and ‘voice’ is. Isn’t it?

Q: I see what you mean.

A:So, when I say ‘Are you seeing this body in front of you?’ You say yes because you see that you are seeing. If I say ‘Are you hearing this body in front of you?’ [Laughter]

Okay, let’s say, are you hearing this photo frame? [Points at a photo frame] No, because you know what ‘hearing’ is. You see that you are ‘seeing’ it with your sight with sight and you’re not ‘hearing’ it.

So, you have to know both sides of the equation which is ‘what is hearing?’ and ‘what is being heard’. In the same way, ‘what is sight?’ and ‘what is being seen’. If you had no idea what ‘hearing’ was and I say ‘Are you…, (let’s invent some word) …., ‘Are you ‘jumpaficating’ a body

in front of you. [Laughter] You don’t know what ‘jumpaficating’ is so ‘I am not jumpaficating.’ [Laughs]

Now when I say ‘Are you aware ‘OF’ something?’ you say ‘I am aware only because of the ‘OF’ …, what is being perceived. But if I were saying ‘Are you jumpaficating this tissue box?’ But are you aware of this tissue box? (Yes.) Yes. Therefore, you must know what ‘aware’ is. Just like you know what sight is, what hearing is, and you don’t know what jumpaficating is.

Q: Like you are referring to some feeling of the Awareness.

A:You have to tell me what it refers to. We can go very slowly. So, when you say ‘I am aware OF my existence’ what are you referring to as ‘aware’?

Q:It’s a kind of…, just a…, just some knowing. Just something is in front. It’s just something is here and I can say I know it, but even later than it happens.

A:Yes, so for now we can work with that. So, it is a Knowing-ness or a Knowing. Now, is this Knowing dependent on anything at all for itself? Is it coming and going? Is it changing in anyway?

I lost you somewhere?

Q: Not yet.

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A:Okay, good. [Laughter] You tell me when. You say (very nice, actually) you say ‘It is just a kind of a knowing, a knowing.’ So, this Knowing…, what is the distance of this Knowing from you?

Q:It looks like sometimes, something is outside of it. It’s something trying to be inside of it, but that’s why it is outside. But it’s not always like that. Sometimes it’s just kind of blank or something.

A:Yes. So, let’s take the most primal appearance. Like you said ‘A knowing of existence itself’ or ‘I am aware of my existence.’ So, this awareness, what is its distance from you? That which knows existence also; where are you in relation to that? We’ll worry about that whether existence is outside it or inside it a little later.

Q: I must be somehow together with it, otherwise…

A:Yes, but when we say ‘must be’ it means it’s an inference. I’m more interested in your insight.

What do you find when you look?

Q: Can you repeat the question?

A:Yes. I’m saying that when we say ‘Must be’ or ‘Should be’ or ‘Can be’, that means we are using the mind to come up with an inference. We have a concept of how it should be, therefore ‘it could be the Truth’. I am more interested in what you are finding when you are looking for yourself without making any mental conclusion.

So, the question was, this ‘I’ …, what is the distance between this ‘I’ and that which knows your existence?

Q:They’re a little bit separated.

A:Yes, how much?

Q: Just as much …, just enough to say that they are separated. So, I can see it like …

A:Okay, good. So, whatever you could be seeing, don’t be concerned about that. This ‘I’…, what are the qualities or attributes of this that sees even that? [Long silence]

Q: This is another depth.

A: Yes. Now you don’t’ have to worry about any answers.

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Insight is Truer than Clarity about Concepts

Q:When you earlier said ‘I Am’ some obsessive thought came to me and it doesn’t leave me, that ‘I Am’ is somehow…, it’s just ‘I’…, there is no ‘am’. When you said ‘Self-awareness’ also; there is no ‘Awareness’…, there is just ‘Self”.

A:Sometimes it is the words which could seem to be causing some trouble. There is just the Self. But even to say ‘There is just the Self’ …, It needs to be aware of Itself, otherwise it’s just an idea. So, is it just an idea or is it an insight?

‘There is just the Self’. Now, we can’t know it as a concept: ‘There is just the Self’. It is as useless as any other concept. I say often that if we have the notion ‘I am a person’ and then we pick up the notion ‘I am the Self’ that both are just as painful. In fact, just the idea ‘I am the self’ could be even more suffering.

So, this report ‘I am the Self’ must come from a deeper insight about YourSelf.

When we say ‘Who am I?’ and we find ‘I Am This’ …, whether we say Self, whether we say Brahman, whether we say Awareness, we see that it is empty of all the phenomenal qualities; yet the Knowingness, the Awareness, the primal Witnessing, doesn’t go anywhere. It just Is.

So, we can say that ‘This Awareness is the essence of the Self’ or we can say that ‘It is the Self Itself’. It doesn’t make so much difference. Whether we say ‘Awareness is the essence of the Self’ or we say that ‘It is the Self itself’ …, the pointer still works either way.

Did I lose you somewhere?

Q:They are just different words of One. [Silence]

A:This is very beautiful because all these words that we are using in Satsang also are thorns. We are using thorns to remove other thorns, and then all the thorns are thrown away, including these. As you are already dropping all distinctions, all words, nothing is needed. But there are some who have some conditioning about some words, so we have to use some words to remove them.

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Just A Little Bit of Openness

When you say ‘I’…, what do you represent? Say ‘I’. What is that representing?

Okay, let’s try again. Say ‘I’. [Sangha says ‘I’] Is it representing a group of sensations? Is it representing an idea you might have about yourself? It can represent all of these things. We are just playfully looking at what the truest representation is (if there is such a thing).

[Someone says]: Presence.

Presence. If this ‘I’ is a pointer (like I was saying yesterday, Guruji [Sri Mooji] calls it ‘the chameleon I’) it can represent a variety of concepts.

But does it also represent That which is empty of all qualities?

Can it also represent the primal Witnessing principle itself?

Don’t be scared of these words. That about which Ashtavakra said ‘You are the solitary witness of all things.’ He also said ‘I am wonderful indeed, beyond adoration.’ Which ‘I’ was he talking about?

Could ‘I’ also represent That which is beyond all boundaries, all limitations? In fact, the concept itself might not apply.

So, what is the mythical notion? All these things that I’m pointing to? Or all that we have believed about ourself?

When we come to Satsang initially, it can sound a bit strange, actually [Chuckles] …, almost mythical. ‘You are without boundary. You are the one solitary witness of all things. You are the boundless ocean in which the arks of the universe come and go.’ It can sound like some fantasy, isn’t it? But could it be, is it at all possible, that this is our Reality, Right Now…, and we’re just interpreting it differently? Because he did not say you have to become the shoreless ocean. So, either he was a complete liar or a fool if it is not true. He said YOU are the shoreless ocean. And I doubt very much that Ashtavakra was either of these; a liar or a fool.

What is real about you? What about you is independent of any concept you might have about yourself, which needs no crutches at all to stand on? Is there something which is independent of any other thing…, which cannot point to anything else as a cause?

I’m hoping that one of these statements will hit home somewhere. Only one of them has to. [Chuckles] You don’t have to understand what I’m saying or believe it. But it could be that you hear ‘You are the boundless ocean’ and something just opens up to this insight.

It seems like for most of humanity, ‘I’ has represented some sort of a conceptual mix of body and mind. And we’re questioning it. Only that much openness is needed.

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Could it be that although I have invested so much in this concept of ‘I’ …, could it be that there is a greater ‘I’ which I am?

Q: Do you have to dissolve?

A:In the noticing of the concept of ‘I’…, automatically it is dissolved. You don’t have to dissolve it. Because we have no such tools to dissolve anything at all. What is the water we can provide to dissolve? [Chuckles and mimics stirring water in a glass] Just as I’m speaking, you’re just checking for yourself. Your checking for yourself. You’re looking for the boundary that you have believed to be your boundary and checking if that is truly your definition, if it defines you, if it binds you.

What is your boundary?

Show me where it is.

Does it end at some perception?

Does it end at some sensation?

All these sensations and perceptions, could it be that they are contained within You…, but they do not contain You?

I just want to open you up a little bit to any of these possibilities; with the innocence of a child. Because this one ounce of openness is very useful in Satsang; more than 100 conclusions that you might have had before. Actually, if you use this entire retreat with just a little bit of openness, that ‘the boundary that I’ve considered myself to have might not be real’ it is more than enough for me.

Just a little bit of openness that ‘I might not be this object that I’ve considered myself to be’.

Or even ‘I don’t know actually’ is completely fine. In fact, ‘I don’t know’ is very good for me. This is the opposite type of exam. [Chuckles] This ‘I don’t know’ for me, you get full marks. [Chuckles] Because we have known a lot of things, mentally, conceptually. And when we come to this ‘I don’t know’ then it opens a door to some true insight. [Silence] ‘I don’t know what I am.’ Someone here said something very beautiful. She said ‘I don’t even know; am I?’ This is a beautiful inquiry. ‘Am I?’

Our conditioning is to rush after conclusions. It’s like we don’t want to leave this retreat without coming to the conclusion ‘I am Awareness’ or ‘The pure Self’ or something. [Hits his fist into his other hand for emphasis] That conclusion is not helpful. Because how many times have you already heard that? The conclusion has been available from the beginning. But when it’s just a mental conclusion, the ‘but…’ does not go away.

If you came into this room and you had a blindfold on, and there was no glass [window] here, it was just a free-fall…, you had a blindfold on and people told you ‘You can take 10 steps but if you take the 11th one, you’re gone.’ You have this conclusion, and it’s coming from credible sources so you trust it. But the mind can still come and say ‘But what if he’s just pulling your leg? What if it’s not true? What if they are just lying? Is he a true Master?’ But once the

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blindfold is off and you See for yourself, then This Is It! And it doesn’t matter if a 5-year-old child told you the truth. ‘The 11th step, you’re gone.’ Then even the credibility of the voice which is telling you the truth doesn’t really matter because it becomes your own insight.

So, we have to move away from just beliefs and opinions and concepts. This is what Guruji [Sri Mooji] means when he talks about digesting food. Are we digesting what is being offered up? Or just collecting all this material and storing it in a warehouse?

Only rely on one thing, which is our own insight. And whichever Master you trust, use the words that he is offering you as pointers to your own insight. Don’t settle for any words as the truth. [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘I can only truthfully say that I Am, but ultimately even that is not true.’ Then why did he speak so much? There’s this big book ‘I Am That’. There must be some truth in all that he said. Although it is not the ultimate truth, there are beautiful sign -posts or pointers saying ‘Look there. Look here.’ But without the looking, without the insight, it doesn’t matter. The mahamantra ‘I Am That’ are just words; without the insight, they are nothing. Once it’s Seen that I AM THAT… [Silence]

So, all our scriptures, all of Satsang, is to provide this spirit field, this energetic atmosphere, and to point you in the right direction. But the recognition of the truth you will come to for yourself.

~ ~ ~

.

.

.

[Quotes from the Ashtavakra Gita]

[1.7] “You are the solitary witness of all that is, forever free. Your only bondage is not seeing This.”

[2.11] “I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration. I cannot decay nor ever die, though God and all the universe should perish to the last blade of grass.”

[7.1] “In me, the shoreless ocean, the ark of universe drifts here and there on the winds of its nature. I am not impatient.”

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‘I Found Awareness, But What About Me?’

Another thing which often happens, which I wanted to mention to all of you, is you will say ‘I had the insight that I am this Self or Awareness, but …, what about ‘me’? I found this Awareness. Nothing is happening to it. I see it is unhurt, untouched. But how does that help ‘me’?’ [Chuckles] And when this question was coming often, I gave this question, which was ‘Who is aware of even of this Awareness?’ And that seeming distinction between ‘I’ and ‘Awareness’ starts to fade away. [Silence]

Who is that which is saying ‘Oh, Awareness is untouched, but what about ‘me’?’ [Silence]

That’s why I was saying the other day that we don’t carry the ‘monkey me’ on the backpack as we cross the portal of ‘I Am’ this way into the unchanging Self. [Silence] You know what it means to cross the portal this way? Okay, so, this is just metaphor, okay? [Chuckles] Many take all these things too literally and they are trying to cross the portal. [Makes running gesture with hands] [Laughter]

So, Awareness; no pain, no trouble of any sort. [Raises one hand, keeps it still] Then ‘I Am’, the same ‘I’ …, now is ‘Am-ing’ (let’s put it that way). Same ‘I’ (there are no-two I’s) now is ‘Am- ing’…, is Being. And when the Light of this Being comes on. [Raises other hand and moves it to show circle] Again, we use the term Light as the Source, or to convey that: Only when this IS, does this world of appearances start. So, the light of Being, and then this play of appearances. Any trouble so far? There was just I, now ‘I Am’ and this world has appeared. Any trouble? Anything can appear, right? No trouble.

Then one of the appearances is that which we call mind. With the appearance of the mind itself, any trouble? (Someone from audience indicates trouble). ‘Not just with the appearance.’ [you say]. Let’s see, let’s see. [Chuckles] It’s appearing. It’s saying ‘You are a cat, you are a monkey, donkey’ whatever. With the appearance of it, still no trouble. It’s like cars are moving on the street. If I don’t have to cross the street, no trouble.

The road in front of my house, for those who come from other countries, they find it very difficult to cross. [Chuckles] Isn’t it true? So, like that. So, till the idea came that ‘I have to get somewhere, I have to do something, I want something’ there is nothing to cross, nowhere to go. So, no matter what the thoughts are saying, they can all come and go.

Yet, the idea once ‘believed’ can create this ‘apparent, limited entity’ which is not complete, and wants some sort of completion (either through fulfillment of some desire, or whatever else the mind might offer up) as the solution to our limitedness.

This is when trouble starts. The play of appearance is coming, no trouble…, [Makes hand gesture of one hand still and other hand rotating] including the mind. No trouble. It’s an aspect of Consciousness Itself. But Consciousness Itself has given Itself the power to ‘believe’ these energy construct called thoughts (or mind). In the object itself, there is nothing to believe or not believe.

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You see what I am saying? How many of you have heard this? Like when you look at an object per se [Picks up a bowl] I say ‘Don’t believe’. Does it make sense? [Chuckles] First you have to pick up the notion of its existence, like ‘Does it exist or not?’ and then it might sound like I am asking you to disbelieve the notion of its existence. But the object itself, there is nothing to believe or not-believe. It is only a concept which you can either believe or not-believe.

How many are seeing what I am saying? [Looks around the room] No? [Chuckles] So, it is only for one set of these appearances called mind (which Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said is ‘a bundle of thoughts’) …, for this mind (this definition of mind which is that it is ‘a bundle of thoughts’) the power of belief is applicable.

So, this belief leads to what? Does it ever lead you to becoming more than what you already are? [Silence]

There is a whole new movement of positive thinking. It can feel like ‘Okay, if I can just think positive, believe positive, I will become more than what I already am.’ But even for that, you need to have notion of yourself which is somewhere down there, which then needs to then elevate itself to a higher level.

But what did you find yourself to be in this natural moment Right Now?

Is something missing?

Are you short of something?

Do you need to be improved upon?

(Without a notion, okay? I know when a notion comes, it’s like ‘Aargh’. [Makes a hand gesture of being overwhelmed] [Chuckles]

In just your insight (that’s what I keep reminding you; not inference, but insight):

What do you see about yourself Now?

Is there some improvement needed on that?

‘Self-improvement.’ [Chuckles] No. Nobody finds this one who needs to be improved.

Q: I don’t know.

A:‘Don’t know’ is very good. But my proposition to you is that in THIS moment, what You Are

Now is all that You will ever be.

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Rely on Insight

What you are now is what Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] was. And he is constantly saying the same thing. I know to the mind it can sound like blasphemy or arrogance; it is not. Somebody asked him ‘What is the difference between me and you?’ He says ‘I stay with what I see myself to be and you go with the mind’s representation of what you are.’ He did not say that there is any fundamental difference. We are the One Self.

[Silence]

The other good news is that the truth does not have to be believed; only the false needs belief. Do you have to believe something to exist right now? Do you have to believe the notion ‘I exist’ to exist? But you need the notion of your limitation to pose as if you are limited. If you can spot this, it’s very cool. The truth is un-reliant on any concept, the false only relies on concepts (and some other sensational, circumstantial evidence that it can use the concepts for). That is why I say that this moment is my best friend; this moment is your best friend. Actually, only this moment IS.

[Silence]

So, how many of you are willing to rely on your insight about who you are and open to dropping (okay, I hesitate to say’ all inferences’) most inferences of about who you are? If you rely on insight, all this what I’m speaking will seem very straight forward, actually. You might pick up the most obscure-sounding scripture. You might pick it up read the words of some great Sage and say ‘This is exactly the insight I had in the shower this morning. What is the big deal? Why have they made scripture out of this?’ But if you have to too many inferences about yourself, then it might seem like it’s very abstract, it’s very confusing.

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Empty of Concepts, Not Empty of Experiencing

What I’m speaking of actually is the emptiness which is empty of concepts about yourself; not empty of experiencing. Because in this realm of experiences, when it is there, experiences will come. We don’t have to run away from any experience.

We are empty of all notions about ourselves. Then you see that this dynamic movement of this world, which is in the Light of my own Consciousness, on the screen of my own Consciousness, continues to play out…., but we become empty of our notions about it. And that is helpful

because without a notion we cannot have a grievance, you cannot have pride. Without ideas about yourself, all that we call suffering is nothing but all of these things. So, those are dropped away.

So, instead of this life continuing as if it is the life of an individual entity, the life of the ego, life continues as God’s life.

So, if there is an aim in this life, for you I can say: Let it be God’s life.

You don’t have to do anything to get there. You don’t have to become God, because You already Are. Only the mask of the individual ego is just kept on the side; don’t worry about it.

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What is Here Now?

Q:So, actually, when I sit in meditation and try to surrender so I feel that, always there is an effort to stop believing the next thought or to drop the next thought. A lot of times it’s difficult to do that. Even when I sit in Self-inquiry and I just say that ‘I am not these thoughts and I am not this’ (and I can see that I am not the thoughts, am not the feelings) but once I am done with that, then it’s like I have to kind of remember that I am not this. It’s not actually vigilance; it’s like it’s just becoming a mental trick kind of thing, I feel. So, I mean, just yesterday for a brief moment, probably for a second, the trying stopped itself and then I could see that probably that’s the way to go, but I couldn’t get that state back. So, I am not sure exactly the way I should go with that.

A:So, the best place to start is: What is Here Now? Can you tell me what is Here Now? With no presumption of any future; with no reliance on any memory from the past, what is Here Now?

Q:Just the feeling ‘I Am’.

A:But is ‘I Am’ something?

Q:Yeah, as long as I don’t use my mind.

A: Yes, so it’s just ‘I Am’. Did you do something special in this moment?

Q: No.

A:What does that tell us? Because the Truth is ever-available to us; it is not reliant on some strategy of how to get there. Now, this ‘I Am’…, does it have any trouble with anything? Then why do we have to bother about that ‘pretend one’ who doesn’t even exist? The future is for that one, for the one who is saying ‘Okay, what happens when I leave the retreat or leave satsang?’

You see what I am saying, no?

That which You Are, Right Now, is the maximum you will ever be. It needs no planning, it needs no strategy. Already it is a gift to you. [Silence] And this is true about You in every moment. [Silence] You don’t have to believe it. You are complete already.

But then if we play with conceptual boundaries of past and future, then it can seem like it’s a bit confused because what is happening is that then it becomes about the life of a particular body/mind. But what you are finding about YourSelf now, is that You just Are. ‘I am not some- thing.’ Does This have a future? Does it have a past?

[Silence]

Now, if some feeling was to come, if lot of thoughts start coming, can these touch This? Can anything ruin This? [Silence]. That’s why it is said [speaks in Hindi] ‘No weapon can cut you, no fire can burn you.’ Some Sages have said ‘This entire universe might burn to bits, but I will remain untouched.’ Are they making an arrogant statement about the body? (No). The body will burn along with the world.

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[Silence]

This is your Truth which is independent of time, independent of the outward appearance of what play is happening through the body, independent of sensations, feelings, emotions and independent of thoughts. Not fighting with them; not affected by them.

Q: But is a remembrance required to remove, to notice, the identification?

A:It can seem like that for a bit. Otherwise, what can happen is that I would have to share just one satsang and then ‘done’. But we have more than a thousand now. Nitya was reminding me earlier that we have some sixteen hundred videos now. Why so much; all of this? Because it seems that the habit of conditioning has the momentum of picking the bag back up. [Makes hand gesture of picking up with both hands] So, you need this constant reminder. Is this the effortless position? Or is it to put the bag down? [Makes hand gesture of putting bag down] So, every day, I am coming and reminding you all that in this moment Now, You are Free.

This is how Consciousness seem to playing at this moment. At one time, it will come also (I can’t predict when) but it will come and you will laugh at this. You will say ‘How was it seeming effortless to pick up thoughts, to pick up conditioning? And how was it seeming effortful to leave that?’ You will laugh at this.

It will come for all of us. Until then, we have satsang. [Laughter]

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Meet YourSelf

Today is a very important day; very important [Chuckles] because what happened is, first thing in the morning when I woke up, and I had a meeting with a very enlightened Being. It was very beautiful, very beautiful. So, I said, “Why just me? Why don’t you come and meet the entire Sangha?” So, this Being said, “Yes, I am happy to come, but I have one condition; if they judge me or interpret me, then I will behave like a regular person.”

So, when this one comes, we have to promise not to judge or interpret. Promise? [Sangha replies yes]

This enlightened Being is coming now. What you have to do is, without judgment or interpretation, meet YourSelf.

[Silence]

Then I said to this Holy Father, “My children say that they find it too difficult to not judge or interpret. Please give them an easier way.” And then this Being said, “Okay, even if they judge or interpret me, in every moment I come back in my fully pristine nature.” He said, “This is my gift to you and to all those who are open to this recognition.”

[Silence]

This is the only true gift I have for you, this invitation to meet YourSelf, unconditionally. This is the only Truth there is.

[Silence]

Your Being (Your Being) said to me ‘It doesn’t matter, my son. Whatever your children might do, I am always Here.’

[Silence]

Your Being said, “All that which they consider their mistakes and sins are not important to me at all; they don’t make any difference. All the feelings of specialness or unworthiness, it makes no difference to me at all. I Am Here…, as Existence itself, the unchanging Atman.”

[Silence]

Taste your Presence. Smell the fragrance of your own Being. Hear the vibration, of the primordial existence. See with your inner sight, where all Seeing comes from.

Touch the Holy feet of Your own Self.

[Silence]

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Your Being said to me, “I am the only Light there is. In my Light all things come and go…, and your Being is ever-free.”

[Silence]

Don’t forget your promise. In this moment, as the Being is here, we won’t interpret or judge it, because then it will act just like a regular person. And now we are yearning for the taste of the Being itself. The person was a beautiful play, which was fully enjoyed, but now the Heart’s longing is for that which is beyond time and space, beyond coming and going, beyond pain and pleasure, beyond all things. Meet the holiness of Your own Self.

[Silence]

Let there be peace, let there be peace, let there be peace.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.

[Silence]

Did you meet the enlightened Being? Nice meeting? Yes? Or no? (Audience replies Yes) Can it ever leave you?

[Silence]

That chair was perfectly positioned, no? …, for my story. [Chuckles] Some of you were waiting for somebody to come and sit there [Laughter]. I didn’t plan it that way, it just happened.

Are you going to make it a short-term visit to this enlightened Being? What interpretation, what judgment, what notion, what question, what concept, is greater than Your Presence? The Light of the universe itself is You.

What else do we need to hear? What needs to be said now? And what was the promise? The promise was even if you interpret or judge, in this moment, your true Being is here. What can be better than this?

[Silence]

We might delude ourselves completely for as long as we want but in this moment, all this delusion is gone. Your Truth is here, and in the Light of this Truth, all activities, all movements of this world are happening. And this body is not excluded from it. In this freshness of Your own Existence, all things move. You don’t have to understand anything, don’t have to forget anything; You are Here. You have considered this ‘I am Here’ as if it is the existence of something small. Now you don’t have to believe that it is something big; you just have to drop the notion of ‘small’. Your Being needs no belief.

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So, then you might ask ‘Has all of this been much ado about nothing? Because the Truth has always been here.’ In a way we can say yes, because it has been a play. It has never been lost. And to see this is to find YourSelf.

Do you have to keep this? Do you now have the strategy to hold onto this after the retreat is over? Is there a plan as to ‘How can I just be this Being?’ No such thing is needed. You couldn’t lose it even if you try it. You might be experiencing some states and they can be beautiful states, but know that all states are coming and going. That in which states are coming and going, is not going anywhere. That is the Light of even ‘states’.

Enjoy the joy, feel the beauty of it as a prasad, a gift from the Lord, for your beautiful silence. But don’t forget your own Lord, your own Being for the prasad. At your own feet, all prasad will come, all gifts, all offerings will come. You don’t have to renounce anything. Enjoy everything as it comes.

In fact, enjoy fully; one hundred percent.

This Being is the Supreme intelligence that has always run this life. It needs no help, no intervention.

It is Life Itself. So, what help would Life need to run Life?

If ever the deluded idea comes that ‘I lost it’ just meet YourSelf fresh. You are Here…, the most enlightened Being I have ever met. The only One, actually. All of these are Your forms, Your various shapes and sizes. There is only one of You, the same One that was there as the Light of the waking state itself.

Now when someone says ‘Are you truly enlightened?’ you say ‘I am the same as you, One Being, One Self.’ What does this mean ‘truly enlightened’? Who is not? Show me one who in this very moment is bound. What kind of game is this, where we go looking for That which is always naturally just Here? This is the game which Consciousness is playing with Itself.

[Silence]

Meet YourSelf. The pointing is clear. It does not have a ‘how’. Don’t waste time on ‘How do I meet myself? Meet YourSelf. You are Here.

Now my question to You, Consciousness, is ‘How do you want to play?

[Laughter]

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No Reason to Doubt Your Truth

I know what the trouble also is. It is because we have heard all these stories; and in India we have heard even more. [Chuckles] ‘He sat for a thousand years in a cave, to the point where there was a big ant hill around him which enclosed him completely…, and then he got his enlightenment.’ [Smiles] You hear that story. ‘If I get a promise that it’s going to happen six lifetimes later, I’m okay with that’.

But what did he say when he found this truth about himself? Did he say ‘I really had to sit for these thousand years?’ He never said that. He said ‘I only found what I have always been.’

The great Sage Ashtavakra; at no point had he said that you have to become that. He said ‘You Are. I Am.’ So, maybe in the play, that one has to sit for thousand years to get rid of that idea of becoming.

But if you like believing all these esoteric stories, then let me give you a proposition:

All of you in your previous lifetimes have sat in meditation for nine hundred and ninety-nine years, three hundred and sixty-four days, twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds. And the fruit is available now. [Smiles] [Laughter in the room] You feel I’m lying? [Chuckles]

Then there can be a notion that ‘Oh, Krishna said ‘Only one-in-a-million will get it.’ He didn’t say that, but there is this popular notion. So, what is the population of this world?

[Someone says]: Seven billion.

Seven billion. Now, how many are in this room?

[Someone says]: Seventy.

Seventy. [Laughter in the room] Sounds like better odds than Krishna gave. [Chuckles] You have no reason to doubt Your Truth. And what did this seventy out of seven billion get? They got that ‘There is nothing to get. I have always been.’

Okay, also we have to count those who are online. [Watching the retreat live online] So, thirty- two? You are counted in these, okay? It doesn’t mean that you have to be in this physical location.

So, finished? Game over? Can we put the pen down? The autobiography is done. What happened? Nothing. [Very long silence]

You don’t have to hold on to anything.

Your Being has promised me that It is always there.

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Is Enlightenment Predestined?

Q:Namaste. If everything is predestined, is enlightenment also?

A:I never said everything is predestined.

Q:Oh, I thought this was pre-written script.

A:No. [Smiles] Did we speak about this? Anyway, it’s a popular notion. It is to bring some rest to our mind, the notion of pre-destiny. Because that would mean Consciousness is not fresh; it is operating on some pre-written script.

But Consciousness is completely free…, because it is prior to time and space. So, in that way the will of Consciousness is predestined, because time does not apply to it. But if you feel like it is some robotic existence that consciousness is living out, that is not the case. It is just a sort of level confusion. Because as long as we consider ourselves as the object within time, it can seem like ‘Whatever is to happen with me predestined.’ But what You are finding for YourSelf, this Being you are discovering, is it subject to time? No.

So, this Being is prior to time. Your Being. And the discovery of this is Here Now.

So, rather than ‘predestined’ we can just say simply it is will of Consciousness when something has to happen or not. Because predestination brings this notion of time into it, and Consciousness is not subject to that.

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Most Are Misunderstanding Full Surrender

A:You said that until 2009 there was great belief that everything is God’s will, everything is God’s grace. Then in 2009 an event happened where you felt like ‘No, this could not have been God’s will, this couldn’t have been God’s grace.’ So, you said that ‘I have to take back charge of my life. I can’t leave it to God.’ Then until 2015, it continued to be a mess and then you started coming to Satsang. And now, something seems to be shaking up again.

Now, most of humanity is actually misunderstanding surrender. Let me tell you why. So, what can often happen is surrender means that ‘You do it; You run my life.’ Isn’t it? And that is a beautiful first step. But it’s not the full step.

Q: It’s not the full step.

A:It’s not the full step. ‘You do it; You run my life’ or the recognition ‘You are doing it; You are running my life anyway’…, that is half-surrender. Because you have surrendered the doership over but you have not yet surrendered the experiencer-ship over. ‘You are the doer, I’m still the experiencer.’ And this creates too much dichotomy, too much conflict.

Now, if we considered ourselves to be an individual experiencer of what the higher power is doing, then always there comes some events which we don’t agree with. And you will say ‘Why, God, are You making me a victim of this?’

So, the first step to surrender (this half-surrender) ‘You are the doer’ deepens in this surrender and then it becomes ‘You are doing and You are experiencing, my Lord. What is my role in this play, I don’t understand.’ Then that deepens further in to ‘You are the one doer, one experiencer. This me was never here.’ So, that’s why the surrender and inquiry is the same; true surrender and inquiry is the same. But if it is this kind of half-surrender…

In Sanskrit they say ‘Tvam karta, Tvam bhogta’ is surrender. This means ‘You are the doer, You are the experiencer.’ But we know that (especially in our Indian culture it is very much like this) this popular notion is this half-surrender. ‘You are doing, but please make sure what You are doing is taking care of me’ basically. So, it’s basically a business deal that we are making with God, saying that ‘I surrender to You. But by the way, I’m keeping one eye open, okay? And You better not mess this up, because then I’m going to take it back.’

So, now the surrender that we are discovering is ‘The one that is doing is also the one that is experiencing, let’s surrender to that one.’ And we come into clarity about Who that Is. So, if you keep God AND me in the equation, then it can seem like a lot of things will still be squeezed out of you. Because God didn’t agree to this deal. Did He say to you in response (when you said ‘God, I’m surrendering to you, please take care of this me.’) did He say ‘Yes, it’s a deal.’? God did not say that. Because God wants to experience Itself as God Itself ultimately. It has been playing as ‘me’ but it is not fine with that. It gets tired with that play after some time. So, the other half of the contract was never signed.

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So, the point of this first step towards surrender is not so that you can go back and forth in this first step. It’s so that we can also go deeper and come to the second step; which is that One who is doing, the Light of my Existence, is the One that is perceiving, that is experiencing everything also, it is only One. This One is this all-pervasive Reality, this Consciousness. This is the fruit of the surrender.

So, if you surrender at the Master’s feet or at God’s feet, we must surrender both the aspects: the doing and the experiencing. This must become God’s life then. ‘Do with it what You want.’ It can’t be ‘I surrender to You; do with it what I want.’ Although it sounds funny when I’m saying it, you will notice how much deal making we have done like that. You see? ‘I surrender; do with it what I want’ is not true surrender. It is ‘I surrender to You; do with it what You want.’

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Your Cannot Even Leave It

This that IS, this ‘I Am’ is all there is; is all that You will ever be. Therefore, it is never a becoming. You cannot become That. You cannot get to That. You Are That.

[Silence]

Now, the question might come that: ‘Is this some sort of effort, to stay in this? Is this some sort of effort?’ But effort needs energy. Is there effort without energy? So, is energy needed to stay as You Are? Or is energy needed to pick up notions, ideas of who you are? For what is energy needed? To stay as You Are? To sit where you are, you don’t need any energy…, (biologically speaking you do; but you get the point).

But, to walk to the door, you need energy. To pick up the chair, you need energy. Therefore, it is the picking up which is effort. So, this is Seen simply, if you look at it like this. To just remain as ‘I Am’ is not actually energy and therefore, that is not the effort.

Then the question might come ‘But then, why does it feel like it?’ And hopefully, this question is a lot less than what it was on the first day. It is only because we got used to picking up these chairs. And because you got used to picking up these chairs, it might seem like that is effortless. But you can see that this is what has made us tired. Our suffering is a symptom of that tiredness.

[Silence]

We’re tired of this pretend-duality. To taste YourSelf, Your Being, Your Presence …, if there is a taste of heaven, this is it. Heaven is not another realm. It is Your true Existence. And hell is not another realm. It is this suffering because of this pretense of duality.

[Silence]

Could it be that all this sadhana, these tactics, techniques, practices, all these Satsangs, all of them have just pointed us to what is naturally Here; that which I couldn’t lose if I tried my utmost best? We have been trying to find ‘That’. You see the trick?

I feel the sitting example is very good. If I say ‘Sit exactly like you are sitting right now’ …, how will you do it? You moved. [Laughs] It is not a movement that is required. When we have a notion ‘How do I get there?’ there’s a notion of a movement required. ‘How do I take on that position?’ I am not asking you to take any position at all because all position-taking implies movement. And what is the good news? That whatever movement also happens, the Self remains unmoved, untouched. That’s why I said: You cannot even leave it.

Now some of you in this room have a very satisfied look on your face. And some of you are very disappointed, wondering ‘Was that it?’ [Chuckles] Both the satisfaction and the disappointment are just appearances within Your own Self. Even these apparent positions make no difference to Your Reality. They’re only various shades of the play, various shades of the pretense. That’s why I was saying the other day: Wherever you may wander, you will only find YourSelf.

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[Silence]

So, I say ‘Sit exactly where you have been sitting’ and you see that ‘Oh, this is already true.’ Will you say ‘Yay! I did it!’…when you have been already? Or will you say ‘No, I haven’t done it yet; sit exactly where you’re sitting.’ [Chuckles] Even both these positions don’t apply. Both these positions of ‘Yay, I did it’ and ‘No, sorry, I think I missed it’ …, both of these don’t actually apply because you cannot miss it. You have to BE there to miss it. So, the ‘You’ is already there. All that is hopefully dissolving in this sharing is the notion of getting it, getting somewhere, becoming something; projections about the Self.

Is anybody stuck on the idea of ‘Where are the fireworks?’ You might not admit it. [Chuckles] (We can organize some fireworks tomorrow?) [Laughs] All these ideas of supernatural abilities, fireworks; all these at best are by-products. None of these are necessary. Not even any special states. If they come they come, they come. If they don’t come, they don’t come. What does it have to do with Your Existence? Are You existing less because of no fireworks? Will You exist more because there is a special state? Existence remains untouched.

Sometimes it’s better if there are no fireworks, because you’ll mistake that to mean freedom. And when they go (because everything that comes, goes) when they go you will say ‘Ananta, I had it; now I lost it.’ How many times have we heard this over the years? So, it was not that the ‘it’ again was misplaced, as if it is a special state (a loss of thinking, a quietude might come, some special energetic movement might start arising) …, if you mistake these as the Self or as proof of recognition of the Self, then again, an idea of suffering can be picked up. Because if they can come, they will go. What comes, goes.

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See If You Can Leave YourSelf

Unconditionally, Right Now.

You don’t even have to drop the conditions, they are gone already.

Don’t even pick that condition that you have to drop the condition.

Whatever is naturally present here, meet yourself as that.

[Silence]

If you pick up a condition, it’s not a mistake, it’s not a sin. This moment is fresh again. No harm done. Shiva is still Shiva, Buddha is still Buddha: Your own Self.

Nothing has changed.

This is the meeting you have all been waiting for; to meet Your Self.

Nothing is excluded from this.

Include all perceptions in YourSelf; they already are.

No distinctions about anything at all.

Even if it seems like you are stuck in doubt, doubting deeply,

You are still the Self …, playing with doubt.

Now that you have met YourSelf.

Try to leave YourSelf.

See if you can leave YourSelf.

Leave YourSelf completely.

Don’t add anything to the instructions that I’m giving you.

That which you are discovering about YourSelf, see if that can be left, put aside.

You are not hankering for any state, not waiting for anything to happen.

It is not about yesterday or tomorrow.

This what is most natural about you is Here.

[Silence]

The words that might come from your mouth after this, the actions that might happen through your hands can come and go, whatever they have to be. They do not touch the Reality of YourSelf.

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[Silence]

All thoughts might come and go.

You don’t even have to label them as good thoughts or bad thoughts.

[Silence]

You are open to all emotions as well.

[Silence]

More spacious than space itself.

[Long silence]

If you interpret or judge anything at all, it will only appear as if you are limited; a person. But it will never be so in Reality.

[Silence]

And know that all interpretations, all judgments, are only about Your own Self, posing as if you are limited.

[Silence]

All of you are meeting YourSelf. It is inescapable.

[Silence]

Only the concept of ‘meeting’ itself will dissolve.

[Silence]

Because You are just what You have always been.

Full and complete.

[Silence]

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

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The One Self is Seeing All Things

Q:Namaste. In deep sleep, there is only Awareness; Awareness aware of himself and also aware of no-thing. And in deep sleep, there is no world. When I wake up the world comes again. So, Awareness needs my body/mind to see the world, no?

A:Doesn’t need. But it plays ‘as if’. Awareness doesn’t need anything at all. When it plays with

Its dynamic aspect, which is this sense of Existence, then this sense of Existence can play in any way that it wants. Many have reported out-of-body experiences and some of us have also had them. So, the body…, although our usual experience is that the body is the tool for perception, but it is also possible for this Consciousness to perceive all things without a body. It is not limited by any limitation at all. All of this is just moving images in Its Light.

Q: But normally, this Awareness needs this body/mind to see the world; normally.

A: We can say ‘uses’.

Q:So, then, if I’m this Awareness, if I’m this Self, the same as yours, we see the same world.

No?

A:What you are seeing is all there is to be seen. There is nobody else to see anything at all.

Q:Just Awareness Seeing.

A:Yes. The One Self which is perceiving all things. The idea of others itself dissolves here.

Q:That’s the proof enough to know ‘I am not this body/mind’ because when I’m asleep, this body/mind disappears.

A:Yes, exactly. And also, there is more proof. Because, at least for those of us who have dream states, then you can see that there’s another body there and another world there. So, not only are we not the body/mind but we are not a body/mind contained in a particular world.

Q: In dream state.

A:In a dream state, it can seem like there is just as vibrant a body, full of pain and pleasure. All things are there. Time and space; everything is there. So, this constriction about being an object located in this body/mind falls away when we start to investigate that there are other states which come. In deep sleep state, there is nothing at all, like you say. Only Awareness Itself. The dream state is just like this waking state, but when we are in this state, we call that the dream state. And when we’re there, we might be calling this the dream state.

Q:Neither this Awareness, this ‘I’, this Self …, why I cannot see the world when this body/mind is asleep…, through another body/mind? If I am the Self, the eyes of the Absolute are looking at the world. And why I am not able to see this world from another’s eyes?

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A:So, if you are this body/mind, then that would be true. But we just saw that You are not this body/mind. Therefore, when You sleep, it is not this body/mind which is sleeping. It is Consciousness Itself which has gone back to Its Source. The entire world vanishes. Nobody else is there to see anything at all. Just like when the dream ends, what happened to the other dream characters? Why can’t you see through them, in that dream world?

Q: But I am saying in deep sleep state, not in the dream.

A:But I’m saying that we can ask the same question for the dream state, saying ‘I saw all these people that were there. They were also seen. But now that I’ve gone to sleep in the sleep state, why can’t I see through those that were there in the dream state? You see?

Q: So, the dream state and the awake state is the same.

A:Same. All is shining in the Light of…, in the projection of Your own Consciousness. Whether you call it dream, whether you call it waking, it makes no difference. There are no others in that way, you see, because the entire dream is Your projection; and the entire waking state is also Your projection.

Q:But when I am in the dream state, I dream about I don’t know what, and then the next dream was there…, but the world in the awake state is still there.

A:This we presume. Suppose the dream just started. Is it possible for us to have a dream where we’re having exactly this same conversation?

Q: Yes.

A:So, this dream…, suppose it just started. Do you start the dream by saying ‘Who are you? What am I doing here?’ This so-called memory which convinces us of the continuity is available in the dream state. Nobody starts a dream with amnesia. Everybody knows these are my family, these are my friends. So, memory is another projection of Consciousness Itself and presents this world of continuity but it is not verified through insight; this continuity.

Q: But everybody sees the same world.

A:Everybody in the dream also sees the same world. Where is everybody? Only a projection within You, isn’t it? In the same way, all of this is projection within You.

That’s why I said right from the beginning that the insight we are getting, we try to contain that as if it is being seen in this body or something. But what You are discovering about YourSelf is that You are not contained in this body. This body is just another appearance in Your dream, in Your waking (whatever you call it). [Silence] So, then the concept of ‘everybody’ is no longer there. This is the reason why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘There are no others.’

All of this is You.

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Q:This is me, like mind? Or like Self?

A:All of this is Self.

Your mind is just one aspect of YourSelf which is this bundle of thoughts, memory, imagination; these. And there is no such thing as ‘a mind’. It is just a concept that we use to single out a certain set of sensations. Just like there is no such thing like ‘the body’. It is only another label for a certain set of sensations. Just like there is no such thing as ‘the world’. It is another label that we use for another set of perceptions, sensations.

There is only the Self.

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Your Unchanging Truth

All that has happened during this retreat is that I have reminded you that You are the Self. This is your unchanging Truth. The dropping of the pretense only means that ‘I have considered myself to be something else. I have only always been the Self.’

Hopefully, we have demolished some ideas about getting to the Self or becoming the Self. And how have they been demolished? From our own insight in the ‘checking’. It’s almost like checking. If you had a mistaken notion that you are in Namibia; if you had a mistaken notion that you are sitting in Namibia and I just asked you to look around and see where you are and then you saw ‘No, [this is not] Namibia. This is a beautiful hall in Ramana Towers in Tiruvannamalai.’ So, you did not have to move an inch. You just had to check.

So, the idea of becoming, the idea of getting to the destination means that you might not already be there, you must not already be there. That is the mistaken idea. And yet we have always heard that ‘The Self is eternal, it does not come and go.’ And we have lived with these contradictions because we relied on these concepts.

You had this mental voice always telling us that ‘You are in the wrong place. You are not the Self yet. You are too small for that. You need to become great like the enlightened Masters. Those were the Self,’ it has told us. ‘You are not.’ But what have the Masters actually said? They have said that not only are we the same but we are One. So who is speaking the Truth? You want to become like them, but we don’t trust that they are the Ones speaking the Truth. We trust this one saying ‘Oh, we have to get to That’ or ‘We have to become That.’ So, it is not walking from Namibia to Tiruvannamalai, it is just the Seeing that ‘I am here already.’

That is why Shankara said that ‘It is not an action that you have to do, but only the dispelling of the false notions.’

How to dispel them? Just (as we have been doing) through our own intuitive insight. Consciousness has been revealing it Self to it Self. And no personal intervention is needed or can happen because there is no person.

Now I have a favorite game, but we will play it a bit differently today. The game is ‘I Am ____’ and then you have to fill in the blank with the highest insight you’ve had about YourSelf. Not something that you heard from me, not a concept you have picked up from a book or something, but the highest insight you have had about YourSelf. So, ‘I Am the Self, I Am Awareness, I Am Consciousness’ is the first part.

Then ‘but ______’ You have to expose ‘but _____’ and that which seems to be your greatest doubt your greatest ‘but’. (I Am ______ But ______.)

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Every Moment is a Timeless Invitation

Q:You gave me some ‘homework’ Sunday night, and it turned my world upside down. When I came Sunday night (evening) as I looked in, I could drop behind my personality, I could drop into a deeper space and drop into the Witness. Beautiful experiences that I’ve had. But you asked me a very simple question. I had mentioned I was anchored in my personality. And you said

‘What if you weren’t anchored? And that grabbed me, and it turned me upside down. So, the report I have is: Every moment is an invitation, and in that invitation is the timeless One. And as it delights, there is the Eternal Witness. And in front of that is the appearance (personality, body, actions) and it’s just extraordinary. And I am not saying that I grab that invitation every moment but there have been so many beautiful moments. I guess what I am saying is that I can now I can start from there. Before I started as a personality myself and tried to ‘drop in’. But I think the pointing that you gave was ‘What if you started from Now, fresh; from the timeless?’ And then, as it evolves, it flows forth if it wants. It flows forth like this…, or not. And that’s all I have to say.

A:Very good. It’s a very important aspect of how this expression is sharing satsang; not to start with the presumption of personhood, but to See fresh: what is your True insight? I am happy that I heard this feedback from some of you that this is what you are hearing actually. Because many times I keep saying this but it is still being heard from the pretense of personhood, and then the idea of finding God from that position (which can seem like a very cumbersome process).

What if there is an elevator? [Chuckles] That elevator is available Right Now to See that, actually, my Truest starting position is the Self. And all idea of destination was mythical. That’s basically what I am saying. And all the apparent movement is included in the Self.

You cannot leave It. And yet all things can appear and disappear within It. And I am very happy also that I requested all of you not to take my word for anything, and I don’t feel like you are doing that. You are using these as pointers, and checking for yourself, and remaining with your Truth. Also, I like that some of you didn’t succumb to any peer pressure and said what was true to your experience. I appreciate that a lot. Because in this, our relationship is full of integrity. If we start following and we start saying ‘Okay, he said I am Awareness and I should not sound lower than that’ or something like that, then it can become another game. I am very happy. And with this integrity, all auspiciousness can only arise.

It is when we start playing games with ourselves that it can seem like the journey is long- winding. [Makes zig-zag gesture with hand] When you have this integrity in your heart (‘My truest insight is that I am still a person’) this is good enough for me. This is very good for me actually. Because then we have resonance between what is really going on and what the mouth is saying. Otherwise, many times we can hear something else but the mouth is saying ‘I am the pure Witnessing’ …, like that. I appreciate very much that some of you stayed with your own Truth and did not succumb to any peer pressure of the remaining seventy in the room. It’s very, very courageous and must be applauded actually. [Applause]

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We’re Here to Realize OurSelf

We are all here presumably to recognize ourselves, realize ourselves. What is the promise of the spiritual path? Self-Realization.

To meet this Self, where must we look? We have also been told that the Self does not come and go.

The Self does not come and go and it is also unchanging. These are beautiful clues. It does not come and go and it is unchanging. Now, what are you discovering about yourself? When you meet yourself …, many of you are still believing that there is something missing in this Self. But if it was there something missing in this Self then it would be the changing. It could not be the unchanging. If there were still somewhere to get to or something to happen to the Self for You to realize YourSelf then we would call it ‘the changing Self’ that gets better; every time you meditate, the Self gets better. But nobody says that because the Self is unchanging.

Now, meet YourSelf. Meet YourSelf. The term ‘meet’ will drop away; the pointing ‘meet’ will drop away. Then you will see that there is just this Self.

What are you finding? What are you finding when you meet YourSelf?

Let’s make it a bit interactive: What are you finding?

[Someone says]: Nothing.

Let’s start with this ‘Nothing’.

When you meet YourSelf, you-something are meeting Nothing?

Nothing Is meeting Nothing?

So, is this Nothing that you are meeting aware or unaware?

[Someone says]: I cannot ascertain it.

As you meet this Self, what is left of you now?

You say ‘I meet the Self; nothing is left of me?’

True?

How many say this is true?

You are still there and you are meeting a Nothing.

[Many voices]

Everyone will have a different answer. I got you.

So, what is happening when I say: Meet YourSelf?

[Comments]: Just alone. Just is. It’s a vibration.

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Yes, vibration. So, let’s say all that is vibrating, meet that One that is aware of it.

All that Is moving, all that is sensation, all that is hearing also.

Don’t exclude anything from your experience.

Meet that One that is aware of it.

Now, who is meeting who?

[Someone says]: You are It.

You are IT. You are IT.

So, are you nothing? Are you something?

This No-thing is neither nothing nor something. That is why for the mind it is completely confusing. ‘How do you call something which is No-thing you?’

‘I am meeting MySelf as nothing’ …, that means you are still there but not as a thing.

That’s why I say that This is that No-thing which Is the essence of all things. It is not that essence-less nothing.

It is not that nothing which is like ‘What Is there on the empty table? Nothing.’ It’s not that nothing.

It is still You and It is aware.

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It is No-thing, and Yet It is ‘I’

A:What you’re Seeing is fine. Now, if you were to bring your mind into it, you bring confusion into it. You said very beautifully that ‘I looked and I saw that there was nothing.’

‘I saw that there was nothing.’ This ‘I’ is what I’m asking about. The one that saw the nothing, Itself, was it something or nothing?

Q: Nothing.

A:Nothing. Then how is it ‘I’? Where does the ‘I’-ness come from? Can nothing have ‘I’-ness? Therefore, it is No-thing and yet, It is I.

Impossible for the mind. [Chuckles and laughter in the room] Impossible. That’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] says it’s a mind-bypass. Because the mind cannot fathom a No-thing ‘I’…, it can only fathom a ‘something’.

Meet YourSelf. And don’t say anything about anything.

[Silence]

No notions are needed about anything. You don’t have to give me an answer. You don’t have to give yourself an answer. Let all interpretations come and go.

[Silence]

As long as it feels like it is easy to come to this conclusion, then come to this conclusion very easily. As long as it feels like ‘I can’t let these interpretations come and go’ then we need some form of instruction. Either surrender it or inquire into it, or meditate or chant; as long as it is needed, if it feels like interpretations are still for the Self. But for many of you, it is just so natural.

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Meeting Your Truth, Minus Interpretations

As You are meeting YourSelf in this way, You are meeting the Truth; Your Shiva nature.

But remember what I said the other day? As soon as you interpret it, it will seem like it is limited or personal. As soon as we judge it, it will seem like it was a limited entity. That is all that is going on.

Meet YourSelf naked of all interpretation. This is Your notionless Existence. You’re not fighting anything. In this simple openness, all things are coming and going. You don’t have to get to any state. And because you are not trying to get to any state, nothing can get in your way.

[Silence]

What are some of our most favorite interpretations that we might buy? It cannot be this simple.

[Someone says]: My way is right.

A: That’s an interpretation.

[Someone says]: What am I missing?

[Someone says]: Where are the fireworks?

[Someone says]: Does this mean I have got it now?

I’m making this list so that all of you can recognize them when they come, and know that they are just interpretations. So, when I’m saying the list that I’m going through, look.

[Someone says]: I don’t feel it.

[Someone says]: I haven’t dropped something yet.

A: But I never said to drop anything. [Smiles]

[Someone says]: I already know it. [Laughter]

[Someone says]: A label can also be an interpretation.

A:Yes, Yes, not needed here. Not the label of Awareness, not the label of Consciousness, no

‘Self’…, nothing. What I’m using is just pointing you to That, and then labels will be dropped.

[Someone says]: Un-label-able.

A: Un-label-able.

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Ever-Present Truth Needs No ‘Wow’ States

A:[Repeats the question from questioner]: Guruji [Sri Mooji] at one point he knew (when he was with Papaji) that ‘It is done.’ So, the question is?

Q: Very regular, very regular, unless we pick up something.

A:Can I just look at this presumption right now? Because even we say it often. But if it is said that it is regular because it is so here, so available. But this is the most powerful Being in the universe. What you are discovering, when you meet YourSelf, is the most powerful Being in the universe and beyond that. It is regular only in the sense of its availability.

Q:Of course, what comes and goes is not true. This experience is …, I am not talking about [inaudible] I am talking about that the peak interval when you said ‘You are not an object’ then I knew there was no God, there was really nothing’. I was like ‘wow’. I don’t want ‘wow’. I want just …

A:Sure? [Laughter]. So, the interpretation now is that ‘Where is the ‘wow’. Let that interpretation come and go. Meet YourSelf. It can seem like this one is a special one. The most well-dressed notions can seem like ‘Oh, no, but this must apply’. We have already said the Truth is ever present and it is unchanging. Therefore what you are meeting now as YourSelf, it needs no change. Even the ‘wow’ or the ‘okay, okay’ is a coming and going. If what you say is true, that ‘I am not attached to the wow’ then this interpretation will not have meaning.

Q: Yes yes. Something comes to buy it. The seller …

A:This is this just this one. [Silence] It is completely ‘wow’ and it is completely regular at the same time. Because it is beyond all interpretation.

Q: [Laughing]

A:This is the point of Satsang.

Q:[Inaudible]

A:He says ‘Why do you have to look at me for me to crumble? Why can’t it just happen on its own.’ Then we have just built all of this Satsang Bhavan… [Refers to new satsang space] [Laughter] (I’m just kidding.)

It is happening on its own already. This perception which you are calling ‘Ananta’ outside of you is just an appearance within You. This is how you are playing with YourSelf at the moment.

Where am I right now?

I am in your Being.

Where do you need to go?

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Q: [Inaudible]

A:This is our leela. This is your leela actually. [Laughter] The outward movement is just the leela of Consciousness. What happened to your Being in Reality?

I told Ophelia the other day that I promise I will take her all the way. I didn’t tell her that it’s so simple. [Laughter] Because to take her all the way, all that we need to drop is the notion of ‘all the way’. You are This, already. Now, where do you want to go?

Another Q: [Laughter]

Q: [Inaudible] Too much problems; we want to change the mind.

A:It’s all God itself. And wanting to change so much is also God. Everything; then we must include everything. It’s so beautiful that once we exclude everything, we come to recognition of this God which is everything…, and once you include everything, you come to recognition of this God which is everything.

So, [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said there are two paths: ‘pravritti’, which is to include everything, love everything, and include everything …, and ‘nivritti’ which is to go within and find out what is the Truth. But the conclusion of both is the same.

One Consciousness, one Truth, one God.

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This Is-ness is All Inclusive

A:[Replying to question about ‘perfect imperfections’] So, what really you are saying is that if you move away from the concept of perfection itself, then ‘What Is’ just Is.

This Is-ness is all inclusive. Everything just Is (without interpretation).

At one level we can say that all is perfect, including the imperfections. But even that then is meaningless. What it really means is that ‘What Is just IS’. And this implies that in ‘What Is’ (unless we interpret) there is no trouble about anything. Even the phenomenal trouble. (There is no real trouble.)

[Silence]

When we don’t have an idea of how things should be, everything Is just as It Is.

And you can call that perfect…, which includes all the imperfections. And in this you find that all is shining in the light of Existence, shining in the light of Consciousness. Everything is made up of that very same light. This Consciousness is All There Is, even in this play of perfections and imperfections.

Even in such a beautiful, silent environment, it can seem like it is imperfect because all these ambulance sounds are there. [Points to noise from outside] But it Is just what it Is. Everything in the phenomenal world is like this. There is no 100% of anything.

Q: [Inaudible]

A: Every dish has some spice, which we can call ‘the imperfections’.

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The Self is Fully Available, Right Here, Right Now

Maybe to have a bad throat is a very good opportunity to explain, in as short a way as possible, what I’m conveying to all of you.

As you meet YourSelf now, the concept of meeting falls away and all that is found is YourSelf. Now, whether you call it Good, Guru, Self, the Absolute, the dynamic aspect, it really doesn’t matter. It is Your Self.

But if you superimpose a judgment, an interpretation on it, then it can only play as if it is limited. The notion makes it seem like Your Being Itself is notional. This is called the ego.

But the good news is that even if you have identified with it, if you have superimposed a notion on Your own Being, in every moment You are completely fresh. The Self is fully available Right Here, Right Now. You are the Self. And once you identify with your own thought creations, you play with the mask of individuality. To recognize this is Self-Recognition.

Within YourSelf, within Your Being, all things arise and disappear. Your Being naturally is not in opposition to anything at all. Because all that appears is only shining in Your own light.

The Seeing of this doesn’t need any particular special circumstances. Wherever you might feel that you are, Your Self is there.

Once you pick up the primary notion ‘I am something’ then it can feel like you can fill this something with millions of other ideas (‘This way or that way, I want this, I don’t want this, I like this, I don’t like this, I want to be this way, I don’t want to be this way, you should be this way, you should be that way’) only if you pick up the notion of somethingness about YourSelf.

But the best, best news is that this ‘something’ notion is gone Now. This is the gift of the Present; Your own Presence, empty of all ideas about Itself. Here it doesn’t matter if you feel like you have made lots of mistakes or you feel you have led a very pure life. The Truth is fully available for all Beings, because all Beings are only the Truth. The false has only been a mask. And all masks fall away in the light of the Present.

Now, it might sound funny to you when I say it but all efforts, all attempts that we are making in spirituality are to get rid of this egoic idea of ‘something-ness’. But actually, it is already gone, Right Now. Nobody can produce this ‘something’ in the Present; only from ideas of past and future.

So, why does it seem so sticky, this ‘something’ notion? Only because we are so invested in this idea of our ego that we want God while continuing to be a person. We want to be that special person who for himself or herself has come to the ultimate discovery.

You want to swing with a chain around your legs. Like I say, it’s like trying to carry the ‘monkey me’ on your back while you cross the portal of Existence. Nobody has done this and nobody can do it.

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Does Self Pervade the Body as Well?

Q:What I really want to say is that it seems like that breath of the Self is moved and felt in the body. But also, it’s pervading everything else as well. And I was wondering if you could speak to this at all.

A:It’s a very good report. This is all that I have been speaking of. I was saying that this ‘something’ notion that ‘I am a limited entity’ relies a lot on the circumstantial evidence of the feeling of intimacy of the sensations that we call the body. So, the mind relies on these sensations and says ‘You must be this, because look at this how intimate this is.’ But actually, we are discovering a greater spaciousness about Your Being which already includes All There Is. And you are saying that although the sensations might seem very intimate that actually they are just perceptions; as is everything else that is here.

And then, in this, we find that it doesn’t become easy now to constrict yourself, to limit yourself, as if you are something contained in this bucket of flesh and blood. You find that I Am that Being which pervades all things, even though it is beyond all things.

So, what I hear from your report is that as you are contemplating on the book with your own insight, you are coming to own recognition of these things. And as you are discovering your own inner spaciousness, you will find that no energy, no constriction, no collections of the strongest energies in the world is bigger or stronger than You. You’ll find that You have infinite space for all of this to come. Nothing really constraints You.

So, all my best wishes and blessings for your beautiful contemplations, as they are. And you are always welcome to come and clarify these things here.

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First Find Who Is Concerned About Purpose

Q: Can you speak to this subject of purpose?

A:It was question which was very alive here as well. I don’t want to get into too much of the story but there was a point where it really started poking here. ‘What I am doing here? Why I am here? What’s my purpose?’

Through some sort of Grace, I realized that I truly cannot answer this question till first I am clear about who this ‘I’ is in the first place. So, till we have clarity about what is it that we are referring to as ‘me’ or as ‘I’ then it is trying to figure out the road-map of something that we can’t find. What road should this one travel, when we can’t even find this one? This man at the door; should he come into the room or should he go out? You will say ‘What man at the door?’

So, I know that this presumption that ‘I know what I am, I must be this body/mind and therefore where do I decide to keep this body mind? What should I do with it next?’ …, it can seem alive at some point in our life. It was alive here also. But I can only speak from what has been experienced here, and I saw that I was just shooting in the dark till I came to clarity about what this ‘I’ really was. We were trying to find the destination for this ghost-like ‘I’ which is seemingly very difficult.

Through Satguru’s Grace, I just saw that most importantly, before ‘What should I do? What is my purpose of being here?’ that I need to be clear about what this ‘me’ is in the first place.

It doesn’t have to be the same way for everyone. I can just share based on what was here.

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The Easy Way is to Remain Empty

So, there’s an easy way, and there’s a hard way.

The hard way is that you start by making any assumptions about yourself. That becomes your starting point.

The easy way is just to remain empty of all assumptions.

What are you discovering about yourself Right Now?

I’ve been saying these days: just meet YourSelf.

And as you meet YourSelf, you will see the concept of ‘meet’ falls away.

And as most of you know by now, this Being, which is your Self, has a special hotline with me. [Chuckling] …, a special hotline with me. So, your Being has told me that It is always there. It is the Presence of the Lord Itself.

And this is such good news!

[Coughs and drinks water] I can’t wait for my throat to get better before I share it; I have to share it now. [Smiles]

But if you make an assumption about your Being, if you make an interpretation about your Being, it will seem like it is limited, like it is the ego, it personal, it has duration, it has limitation.

But what’s the best news? The best news is that even if you made millions of interpretations, assumptions, about your Self, they are all gone Right Now, in this moment. Your God Presence is fully Here.

[Silence]

So, are you meeting YourSelf? …, empty of judgment, empty of time; of notions of past and future?

You Are.

But how you subtitle this movie might be something else. Your interpretation of your meeting does not take away from the purity of the meeting itself.

I’ve been saying these days: it’s simpler than sitting where your sitting right now. Just go and sit exactly where you’re sitting right now. Did it? [Chuckles]

Then you say ‘It’s not a doing.’ Yes. Because You Are That.

To Be, is even more effortless. But if you pick up a mask of some untruth about yourself, like ‘I am lost’ or ‘I have to get freedom’ …, for this one, when that one takes on the strategy ‘I’m just

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going to Be’ …, for that one it can seem very tough. Why? Because that itself doesn’t exist. [Laughing] So, not only is it tough, it’s impossible.

So, when Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Meet me naked’ he is speaking about this conceptual nakedness, empty of any judgment, any notion about yourself.

[Silence]

Embrace that which is the closest to you. What is most intimate? More intimate than your breath, more intimate than the sensations you call your body, more intimate than your emotions; so intimate that your concept of embracer and embraced…, the difference between them cannot be found.

And now, for the good news: You cannot leave This.

Now, if This is your starting point, where do you want to go; what do you want to get?

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Your Being is Unlimited Consciousness

Now, Your Being has told me that it is unlimited Consciousness. What are you finding out? Not what you are assuming; what are you finding?

Your Being is effortless.

If all that you can ‘be’ is Being, and the Being is effortless, then what is all the trying about? It’s not a riddle. You know what I mean?

You just Are. Effortlessly.

So, if you just Are effortlessly, with all your trying will you become one ounce more Being? [Chuckles]

With all your trying can you become one ounce less Being?

You Just Are.

[Silence]

I hope some of you can see what I am saying. No movement is needed. And this is not effort.

I was sharing in the retreat that effort would imply that, some energy has to be consumed. Now to Exist is just natural. It is the presumption, the idea that we superimpose on top of this Existence, which is effort.

Now, if your reaction is ‘Is this it?’ then either you are making a limited picture out of ‘it’. Or you have mistaken notion of what it should be like. Because what you are discovering is that which all the great Sages have discovered: The One Self.

Okay, the effortless part everyone agrees with? I exist effortlessly? [Audience nods]

What about it does not come and go? I cannot turn it off and on? You try to stop Being? Could you? You just Are.

Then you See that all perceptions, all sensations, are perceived in the light of your Existence. Without you, could you perceive a sun? You can say that everything shines in the sun’s light, but the sun shines in whose light? You have to be there to perceive the sun.

This light of your Existence…, what lights up this?

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The Absolute Does Not Come and Go

Suppose that you had to undertake a journey to find Freedom. And if you were told that the destination is where you already are, how would you undertake this journey?

It can sound a bit silly, I know. But, this is the story of all of us in a way. If all that was needed for Freedom was to see that you already are free (in fact, you are that which is beyond freedom and bondage) would that be good news or bad news?

I know most of you will say it is good news…, but sometimes the mind has this idea that ‘No, actually I feel it is bad news because I spent already twenty years doing it. And because I’ve already spent twenty years doing it, this makes it feel like a waste’ or something like this.

In business there is a term called ‘good money chasing bad money’. So, because twenty years have gone we will spend the next twenty years also saying ‘I will derive something out of the time which has been spent but I will not be open to the possibility that this bondage itself has been a wrongful notion; just an idea which has no place in Reality.

Now, when I ask you to check, nobody finds some bondage. But many times, what you don’t also find is what your idea of freedom is. That is where it can seem a bit unsatisfactory. ‘Yes, yes, it’s true, I don’t find bondage. But I don’t find anything. This can’t be freedom. I was promised the nectar of immortality.’

Now you are actually finding it. You are finding the immortal Being as you are meeting YourSelf. But you expected it to be dressed differently. You did not expect that the same old self, the same old Presence, the same old existence which has always been, is the immortal Being. You felt that something special has to happen to it. But this Being is already more than your mind can ever fathom. And therefore, to interpret it, to judge it is useless, is pointless.

[Silence]

So, to recognize it, to realize it, is just to meet YourSelf in this non-judgmental way; uninterpreted way. And you see that even the concept of meeting becomes invalid. Because how does the hand meet itself? It IS itself. You are Your Self. There is nothing missing in Your Self. There is nothing limited about Your Self.

The Absolute does not come and go. It is Your Reality. All your ideas about what self-realization should mean have also come. They are not actually present but they have also come. And they can go now. Because this Self which is beyond qualities and attributes will not match any notion you have about yourself.

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Are You Just a Sensation, Perception, Appearance?

We have become so attached to perceptions and sensations that we are looking for the Self also as if we will find some new sensations, some new perceptions. But what you are finding is That which is aware of all of these and yet Itself is not the sensation; Itself is not a perception. It is beyond the play of attention.

Who is here right now?

Can the one that IS be just a sensation or perception?

Are You just a sensation or perception?

Are You an appearance?

You already know that you can’t be these things. And yet the mind can create this expectation that ‘A certain appearance has to happen and then I will be free; a certain sensation has to be experienced and then I will be free.’

We can’t produce the one that is bound. We only presume that one. So, we presume the false and we swear allegiance to that false. And we are in denial of the Truth, which just IS.

You just Are.

You Are.

You can’t rid yourself of this.

But the person never is.

Your idea about yourself is never Your Reality.

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All That You Will Ever Be, You Already Are

All that you will ever be, you already Are.

How many don’t like this idea? [Glances at audience. Nobody replies.] That’s good. Are you just humoring me? [Chuckles]. Then why am I speaking so much? [Laughter]

You Are That already…, That which is not an object, not a thing.

If You Are already all that you will ever be, what needs to happen now? [Glances at audience]

Q: False notions should be dropped.

A:But Now, in this moment, they are dropped. Forgot? He said what needs to happen is that the false needs to drop. I have been giving all of you this good news that: All that is false cannot survive even this moment. So already gone.

False means: coming and going. False means that which cannot really survive the light of your Presence in this very moment. So, false is already gone. What is left now?

Do you have to hold onto a particular state?

Do you have to only be a certain way?

The problem is the opposite. The problem is: if you were to try and leave the Self. Then that

would be a big problem. It is not in trying to find the Self: Can you leave yourself? Please. [Laughter] Please; for one minute. [Check for yourself]

So, Self is Here.

False is gone

Self is Here.

Now what needs to happen?

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Stay with Your Own Insight

In Tiruvannamalai [Referring to the recently concluded retreat] somebody said ‘Fireworks’ [Chuckles] and that evening, there were some fireworks. Somebody was getting married or something. [Chuckles] So, fireworks also came.

But notice how the mind will try to sell you a story that ‘Some sensation or some perception must be there; only then you must be free. You cannot be God, You cannot be Consciousness until that one type of sensation or perception is there.’

How plausible is this story? That for the Existence of God, there must be certain type of (quality of) sensation?

The other thing that can happen is that, as we are talking, we might be having a three-sided conversation. I am saying all this, and you are giving it to the mind and the mind is saying ‘No but…, but…, actually, all this is fine but it’s easier said than done.’ [Chuckles]. Then you find that. Then you are listening to what I have as a counter to that. And then you are waiting to see what the mind has as a counter to that.

If that is happening, then leave all this. Stay with your own insight about what you are finding about yourself. Use the words in Satsang as pointers. For example, when I say ‘You have no boundary’ don’t just pick up the concept that ‘Oh, I have no boundary.’ Then the mind will say ‘No, but, but, but…, when you were arguing with your mother yesterday, you seemed to have a boundary.’ [Chuckles]. Don’t make it a conceptual idea. Check:

Where is my boundary?

Do you have a boundary?

And as you check, you experience some sensations, and the mind will come and say ‘See, this is your boundary. You are contained in these sensations. These define your boundary.’ Explore the validity of these words.

Are these sensations containing me?

Or do I contain them?

Find out what is your true position.

I know that these kind of questions can shake up all that we have believed about ourself. And that is why they are important.

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What Are the Limits to My Existence?

Any sensation that you might be identifying with as yourself, can I not add one more sensation to the mix? Suppose you are looking at the body sensation, saying ‘This is mine.’ But in the same space in which the body sensation is happening, you are also experiencing the sensation of this voice.

Unlimited space…, all these sensations and perceptions are contained within You.

If it was not the voice of limitation of this mind, what is telling you that something is your boundary?

Nothing in your experience is defining a boundary for you. Just the interpretation of it.

You are the limitless Existence.

And don’t just take my word for it. Check for yourself.

My Existence, if it is limited, then I should be able to measure it; I should be able to tell you the size, the weight of my Existence.

And if all of us were a separate existence, each of us will be able to tell you what are the limits to my Existence.

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We’ve Existed Always So We Barely Notice It

It might sound like a trivial point that I am making.

There is story of Swami Vivekananda. Now Swami Vivekananda is one of the most well know Swamis to ever come from India. Swami Vivekananda, ever since he was born, he had some special (some supernatural) abilities. What would happen is he would close his eyes and he would always see blue light. But he never mentioned it to anyone until he was much older. Then, when he did mention it, people said ‘Why didn’t say this sooner?’ He said ‘I thought this was everybody’s experience.’ [Chuckles] This, because it was so common for him, was not a big deal.

This has happed to all of us. Because you have ‘just existed’ always, we feel like ‘What is the big deal in that?’ [Smiles] ‘There must be something more.’ Because we truly start to explore this Presence, this Existence, this Being-ness, this Is-ness.

You see the misunderstanding? …, which was the idea of limitation.

Then you see that the Sages were not kidding when they said ‘You are the boundless Ocean.’ Astavakra was not making it up when he said ‘You are the one solitary witness of all there is.’

Guruji [Sri Mooji] is not being nice to you when he says that ‘Your Presence is the holy Presence of the Lord Itself.’

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The Two Main Paths

Now, the mind’s job is to come up with the doubt. So, it will say ‘but…’ (something). So, the path of surrender is to say ‘But… (whatever it is) but God is here.’

That is the path of the surrender. ‘But…, Guruji is here.’ or ‘But…, God is here.’ Whatever doubt that the mind might bring, You are the bigger answer.

And the path of the inquirer is to say ‘Is this true? Who am I?’ Mind comes and says ‘You are not there yet.’ Then the inquirer says ‘Who is this ‘I’ who is not there yet?’

Very simply, these are the two main paths. They can seem like very complicated or something. But actually, it is just this.

Mind says ’You are not there yet.’

You say ‘But that is Guruji’s problem.’

You have surrendered.

The mind says ‘But you are not there yet.’

You say ‘Who is this ‘I’ who is not there yet? …, and by the way, who is the one who is speaking.’ [Chuckles]

Either or both are ok.

Many feel like ‘Oh, the mind is my true voice.’ Have you ever made a phone call to yourself? Dialed your number and called yourself?

Why do you need a voice to speak to yourself?

So, in response to the mind’s doubts, if you were to ask ‘Who are you speaking to?’ or ‘Who is it who is speaking?’ Either question will do.

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What is It That You’re Finding?

A: So, who is here?

[Chuckles] [Glances at audience and repeats the question]

[Someone says]: God.

[Laughter]

A:The same one that I met first thing in the morning. [Chuckles] [Referring to a story he shared in Tiruvannamalai during the retreat]

You want to find this one? If you are in Satsang, it means either you already recognize that ‘It Is’ or you are looking to find this one. Nothing else really is on offer here. Your Being. Your Existence. Your Is-ness. Your Self. It is Your ever-present Reality. It would not be worth it unless it was Your present Reality.

And you have only experienced Your own Presence, Your own Existence. You only ever experience this, Your own Self. The idea that there is something missing in it is a super- imposition; it is not the Truth. So, as you are meeting YourSelf without any idea about yourself, what is that you’re finding?

[Audience replies]: Peace. Mind is quieter. Heart is burning with love.

A:Some of you are also feeling that ‘It has always been Here. How is it that I missed this for so long? ‘I Am’ has always been what I am.’

I was saying the other day that if the greatest Being came to you (let’s say God came to you) in a physical sort of way, in a phenomenally apparent way, what would you exchange it for? The greatest Being, in the Presence of which all auspiciousness comes on its own. All our effort, all our doing and trying, making life happen, all of this is naturally unfolding in the Presence of this Being. No idea about doing anything is needed. No idea about wanting anything is needed. And no sense of separation is experienced naturally in the Presence of such a Being. Now, what offer can come in the world that will make you want to exchange this for something else?

In the Presence of this Being, you find that there is immortality. It is the eternal Truth. You recognize the Self which is unchanging. These are natural gifts of the Presence of this Being. And if this Being was available to you, what is it that you would value more than this? [Silence]

And if you were to spend the next few moments with this Being verses something else, what would that something else be?

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Satsang Means the Being in the Company of Truth

Satsang is that play in which we come to this meeting of our own Being, of our own Truth. Come to Your own company.

They said Satsang means ‘The company of the Truth.’ Sometimes it is called ‘The company of the good.’

So, this Truth you are meeting now, what would you rather have instead of this?

[Silence]

If the choices were like this: You have this beautiful Presence of your Being verses you can decide to spend the next five minutes playing with the grievance you have with somebody else or some sense of pride you might have about something you did or some regret about something that didn’t happen for you about five years ago or remorse about not buying bitcoin at ten dollars. [Smiles] What would you rather play with right now?

[Silence]

The good news is that even if you were playing with all of that, Your Being is ever available; not going anywhere.

[Silence]

So, our coming to Satsang means that (for at least this period of time) we want rest in our own Presence, in our own God Presence, in our own holy Truth.

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Instead of Trying to Find the Being, Try to Stop Being

How many of you still feel like you cannot find this Being? ‘It sounds beautiful. But what he is talking about?’ Is there anyone like this? Even if you are feeling a bit shy to admit that and you feel it’s true about you, I have given a tool for this which is:

Instead of trying to find to the Being, try to stop being. Don’t exist.

And soon you will find that that is absurd because naturally, You are present. This Presence is the perfume of Your Existence, of your Being. So, stay with this Presence, stay with the perfume; and the Source of the perfume is clear.

I Am. I am not ‘something’. The ‘something’ has always been a notion, an idea. And it is gone.

And you are finding that all appearances (the appearance of this body which seems so intimate to you, the appearance of all these other bodies, the appearances of all these places and spaces) all these are just movements of light and sound, designed in such a way to make it feel like something can contain You. But actually, all is just contained on Your own screen, on Your own Being, in Your own light.

And this is Your very experience. You have never experienced the world without You being there. You might have experienced the world in an in-the-body experience or out-of-body experience. The body could be there or not there. You could have had a in-life experience or a near- death experience, but whatever experience there is, You have to be there. Your Existence is undoubtable.

So, it is this ‘I Am’. This Being, in this maya, in this play, has been confused to be ‘I am something limited. I am something with a boundary. I am something which had a start and will have an end.’ There is nobody who has continued to play with these notions and not suffer. That is also part of the design of the play itself. If you play with lies, then the seeming-suffering also comes as a result of that. It is just that after a point you see that it’s just too much hard work. Too much energy goes in picking up notions about yourself. No energy goes in resting as You Are.

In India it is said that ‘God, Guru and Self are the same.’ So, whether we say God is Here or Satguru is Here or Self is Here or the enlightened Being is here or Buddha is Here or Christ is Here, it doesn’t matter; the words don’t matter. You are Here. And this You has been misunderstood (or let’s say, at least, that the game of misunderstanding has been played).

So, let these words not be just some words that I am speaking and you pick up some concepts about them. May this be your tasted experience.

You are the limitless Self, the unbounded ocean.

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The Point of Suffering Seems to Be to Transcend It

[Reads question]: “I am starting to understand that life gives me so much suffering not because it is me, but to transcend and to See that it does not exist. So far, it is just a small window of clarity and still I am burning. Could you clarify further?”

A:Yes. Very beautiful what you say. You see, it is not vindictive, like Guruji [Sri Mooji Ji] says. It is not mean, in fact. And the point of suffering then seems to be to transcend it. And once you transcend it, you actually come to this (which you said later) which is to see that it actually doesn’t exist. That which seems so clear, as if it is a lake of water, we saw it was just a mirage.

Why? Because it is not that the sensations of pain did not exist, that the appearance of some events appear, but because the sufferer was always presumed. The presumed individual sufferer never really existed. So, to transcend suffering only means is to transcend our individual identity.

That is why Bhagavan’s [Sri Ramana Maharshi] question was ‘Who am I?’ Once you see that this entity which was a presumed sufferer has not even a little bit of tangible existence, has just been an idea, then you See that an idea itself does not even exist. So, how can it suffer, except in ideas itself?

So, to transcend suffering, one needs to transcend confusion of the mistaken identity. That is why I have said that ‘All confusion is actually just confusion about who we are.’

Now, at least for a few months now, I have been the bearer of some very good news, which is that: All that needs to be done already is so. This moment is bringing you this gift just naturally. Everything that you are hoping to transcend is already gone.

If you say ’but, but, but, it is not gone’ …, then all that is left to transcend is the ‘but, but, but, it’s not gone.’ [Smiles] Whatever notion or idea we might pick up about it is that which remains to be transcended.

How to transcend it? Gone.

Now, you have to scramble to suffer. You have to scramble, you have to work hard, to suffer. So, the more difficult path is to stay as an identity. The least [difficult] thing is to give it up. Because what could be easier than not having to do anything at all? In not having to do anything at all, God is here. But ‘you’ have to do a lot; play with attention, belief, all of these things, for you to be here (or pretend to be here) individually. [Smiles]

So, what is easier?

Just let God be.

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A Simple Recognition of What is Naturally Present

[Reads the question]: “I am afraid that I cannot remain as ‘I Am’ after all the actions that happen through this body. It is like a leap of consciousness that is too big for the state of consciousness in which I live my life mostly. But I don’t feel these words to be true, Father. I cannot fathom how blessed I am to be in your company.”

A:That is way I say I have the best news. [Chuckles] Whatever might have happened, whatever you might have done…, in our minds we might be the biggest sinner ever, but we have never been forsaken.

God is Here.

And the good thing is that it is not even a leap of consciousness. It is just very natural Consciousness. Leap is the imagined one, which is the leap to limitation. The ocean pretending to be just a wave is too much of a leap to ever be real. For you to be the ocean is not a leap at all.

So, what can happen is that we might have this idea that we are looking at all of this through this limited lens. [Raises both hands and circles both eyes indicating lens] It might feel like ‘Oh, but that is too big.’ So, as we drop any mask, naturally You exist Right Now.

Existence is not possible for anyone but God. (Can we put it that way?)

You exist; therefore, you are God. (Sounds blasphemous almost.) [Chuckles]

Nothing exists but God. (Okay, let’s put it this way.)

Do you exist? Yes. I exist. It’s not a leap. It’s just a simple recognition of what is naturally present.

Then what can happen is: we discover that we are the ocean. Now, what happens is that just because one coconut has always been there, then we start to look at the movements of coconut and say ‘Why does the ocean behave like that?’ I don’t know if you have heard this visual; we used it very often in the retreat also: I say You are finding that You are the ocean. Now, on the surface of the ocean, there is one coconut floating, which is this body. Then you say ‘But why did the coconut go left? Why didn’t it go right? The coconut was told to go right but it still went left.’ [Chuckles]

You are finding that You are the ocean. This coconut body is just another appearance on Your surface. If you keep trying to fill the ocean in this coconut, then it can feel like so much confusion can come. ‘What do I do? It’s too confusing now. When I find myself, then I don’t know whether to go right or left.’ But you are finding that You are not this body; and You never have been. You are not the individual doer at all. And yet all doing, all actions, all activities

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naturally happen through this body. But if we have an expectation of how they have to turn out or what the meaning of the right way to live is, then it can seem like ‘Oh, this is starting to get very confusing.’ Because the ocean doesn’t conform to any idea. It is just naturally existing, and in Its Light, all bodies are naturally existing.

If we have an idea of where life should go or not go, then that is like trying to bottle up the ocean in the coconut; which we cannot do. That is why the great Sages…, there are many beautiful stories about them. They decide to go someplace but they start walking in the opposite direction. [Chuckles] ‘I don’t know. It’s just some intuitive voice telling me to go left.’ And you might feel like ’Oh, but there must be a beautiful end to that story’ but sometimes there just isn’t. [Chuckles] It’s like you have heard the story [Asks audience: Was it Yogiji? Yogi Ramsuratkumar?] who just took his whole sangha and went to Chennai. [Asks audience; Was it Chennai?] [Nobody replies. Laughter] So, he just took everyone to Chennai. (Okay, forgive me if it is the wrong story, but you get the idea.) He took entire sangha to Chennai and said ‘We are going there. We are just going to go.’ The minute he landed in Chennai, he said ‘No, we are going back.’ And everybody turned back. [Laughter] We can’t even have this idea that ‘Okay, there must be a particular reason. If he got to Chennai, he must have met somebody who needed his blessing or something.’ He was empty of that idea. He just reached there and then left. [Laughter]

So, life doesn’t have to make sense in that way. And this is the very difficult aspect to deal with because we have always tried to make sense; we have always tried to figure out the ‘why’ of it. ‘Why am I doing this? Why am I coming here? Why am I flying to India?’ All these various things have been there. But nobody has ever figured out the ‘why’ of anything. That’s why these days so often I have been saying ‘Why? Consciousness.’ Everything happens with the will of Consciousness. And why it is important? It’s a way to share this, that it’s Consciousness. [Laughter] But also, that if we drop these ideas that ‘Oh, life will make something greater. As we transcend the false, every action that I make will have some beautiful reason behind it.’ The only reason is: Consciousness. [Laughter]

So, this letting go of apparent control, letting go of having good reasons for everything is, for why it should be…, this can feel a bit unsteady. But as we let go and we start enjoying this movie with no idea why this current scene is here, why the next scene always turns out to be this way or that way, that’s what makes this movie more fun. Would you really go for a movie where every single thing is so straight-lined and logical, and the ‘whys’ are clear? There is no unpredictability is that. (I don’t know why am I saying all of this; it has nothing to do with the question.) [Laughter] (Maybe somewhere it does, I don’t know.)

Why? Consciousness. [Laughter]

[Re-reads the question]: “I am afraid that I cannot remain as ‘I Am’ after all the actions that happen through this body. It is like a leap of consciousness that is too big for the state of consciousness in which I live my life mostly. But I don’t feel these words to be true, Father. I cannot fathom how blessed I am to be in your company.”

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That is why last thing I want to say about this is that: It is our starting point which has misunderstood. And if our starting point is presumed, if you have a presumed starting point of being a person, then we have to invent a journey. Now, I am telling that your starting point is unlimited Consciousness Itself. This is Your starting point and it is true about You Now. From that perspective, nothing is too big, because no matter how big it might be, You are bigger than that.

Everything happens only because You Exist.

Therefore, You are the light of that.

It is not the light of You.

The starting point already is the destination.

All the leaps have been taken.

What are the two examples I gave? Suppose you had a very strong conditioning that you have to ‘get there’. And what is needed to get there? Suppose you had this very strong idea that ‘One thousand years of meditation I have to do to get there.’

So, I gave all of you the guarantee that you have already meditated for nine hundred and ninety- nine years, three hundred and sixty-four days, twenty-three hours, fifty-nine minutes and fifty- nine seconds.

And the fruit of all your meditation is available now.

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A Life for Only Me is Not Fulfilling

Q:Yesterday, Guruji [Sri Mooji] said something like ‘If this life is only for me, I don’t want it.’

Can you speak about it?

A:Me, if it is just restricted to…, like I would say that if this life is just being played out in a way where it is only for Ananta (what Ananta wants, what he wants to do next, what are the experiences he wants to experience; this desire for what Ananta would like, what does Ananta have to do to get those desires) …, if this life was just for that, it will not feel like having that.

Because that is exactly what has been transcended here. We have seen that this one, this so- called Ananta, is just another appearance on the field of Your Unlimited Consciousness. So, we would not want this universality now to become constructive only; back to ‘What’s in it for me?’ You see? ‘What’s in it for me?’ and ‘What should I do to get it?’

It’s a bit like we’re discovering the ocean and then trying to fit it in the coconut. [Smiles]

So, it is Seen now that there is one Self, and the play of this life is just like the play of all other lives which is appearing in this. And this Being, this Consciousness, is no longer believing Itself to be just restricted to one ‘me’…, one person, and one identity.

So, this is the feeling here about what he would have meant. [Smiles] Of course, it’s just paraphrasing Guruji. I hope it captures the essence of what he was trying to say.

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Your Being is the Substratum for All Feelings

Q:What is the connection between the feeling and the truth? Can the feeling be trusted? The doubt that comes to me is one that says to me ‘All that you really care about is the feeling.’ That motivates everything. You like the good ones and dislike the bad ones. By feeling, I mean for example, when one feels positive about life verses when it is just not an enjoyable feeling of being alive. Thank you so much for sharing beautiful Satsang. It is my joy to be in something so beautiful in this life.

A:What you are finding is that Your Presence, Your Being is a substratum for even all feelings. And as you are discovering that this substratum is unshaken, no matter what qualities of other sensations might come, including feelings, then naturally you will find that in the perfume of your Presence, of all these [peace, love, joy] there is no shortage; although there is no feverishness or expectations about them. There is never a lack of even this beautiful perfume of feelings like peace, like love and joy.

So, allow yourself to just taste you own existence, even if it feels empty of sensational feeling for a bit. And as you get used to this taste of Your flavor-less Being, you will find that all flavors are in service to You. And pretty soon the distinction between good and bad will not seem so strong. It will still be tasted. You will still be able to differentiate between grief and joy, between salt and sugar. But you will not have so much feverishness about preferences, about wanting this taste verses that taste.

In fact, you might come one day to this Seeing that all these beautiful feelings are just in service to Your Presence.

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An Invitation to a Deeper Insight

So much of our focus, time and attention goes on these appearances of phenomena, sensations; that which I say is on this side of the ‘I Am’. [Holds up one hand in the center and the other hand in front of it; ‘I Am’ being the center hand, and the hand in front representing ‘I am something’. In this demonstration, he often also moves that hand behind the ‘I Am’ signifying ‘I-Awareness’ prior to even ‘I Am’.]

So, once you exist, you see that in the light of Existence Itself, this entire phenomenal play starts. And it is a compelling play. But much of our time has gone into identifying as objects within this phenomenal play. We have considered ourself to be something which is appearing in the light of Your Being.

So, when I ask you the question ‘What is aware of even this Existence?’ it is actually an invitation to check on something which is prior to this primal phenomenon. That which I call ‘on this side’. [Moves the moving that hand behind the center hand which signifies ‘I Am’ so that the moving hand is now positioned to signify signifying ‘I-Awareness’ prior to even ‘I Am’] There are no sides here but this is a metaphor to explain that on this side of your existence [places a hand in front of the center ‘I Am’ hand to signify the ‘I am something’ position] is the entire play of all that is phenomenal. And it’s fine; we have been interested in that and that is fine. But the invitation now is to just check if there is something else there beyond that which is phenomenal. And any of these pointers, any of these tools which the Sages have provided us, can be used to check.

So, what is That which is aware of Your Existence?

Is it dependent on the play of light and sound?

Is it dependent on anything else?

Everything here in the play depends on Your Existence.

You can’t have experience of it unless You exist.

What about That which is even aware of Existence?

What can we say about That?

And if for some time we are unconcerned about what that discovery means (at the level of our feelings, at the level of our mind, at the level of our body, at the level of our relationships) …, if just for a moment, we are not concerned about the meaning of this discovery or anything phenomenal…, only with this simple question: What is it which is even aware of my Existence?

[Silence]

Who is it that is aware of my Existence?

If it is You, what You is this?

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And if it is not You, can you say it is another?

[Silence]

Is it possible to go beyond sensations and perceptions?

[Silence]

Is there a You which remains untouched, no matter what might be playing in the phenomenal world?

[Silence]

[Repeats]: Is there a You which remains untouched, no matter what might be playing in the phenomenal world?

[Silence]

That which witnesses all that is changing, That which is aware of all change,

is That Itself changing?

And you can’t infer this answer.

You can’t calculate this answer.

You can’t logic your way to the right answer.

It is just an invitation to a deeper insight.

It has to unfold on its own.

That which is aware of all that is changing, is That Itself changing?

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A Modern Parable for Neti Neti

What if I gave to all of you a magical basket in which we could put everything that was changing? A magical basket that can contain everything that you want to put inside.

So, what will you do with the world? In the basket or out?

Your job is to put everything which is changing inside the basket.

What did you do with the world? In the basket? The world includes this body or not? Because many can feel like they put the world in the basket but they leave the body separate. So, the body also gone into the basket?

[Sangha]: Yes.

Therefore, all the sensations that we call the body (pain; pleasure) also, in the basket. What about the emotional sense, all these emotions, where do they go?

[Sangha]: In the basket.

All these thoughts; all ‘doing’ and getting (or not-doing and not-getting). All these also in the …

[Sangha]: Basket. [Laughter]

All our memories, all the past, all our projections of the future, also in the basket. All our imagination, also in the basket.

Is there anything left?

[Sangha]: Space.

In the basket? Or out?

[Sangha]: In the basket.

Time?

[Sangha]: In the basket.

The medium for change itself, the medium for seeming-change itself can be put it in the basket.

Now what is left? Did You go in the basket? Have You gone? You have put in everything. Have You also gone? What remains?

[Sangha]: Basket. [Laughter]

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Basket also in the basket. What remains outside the basket?

What sees all of this changing? What sees the basket itself?

What is the quality of that one?

[Silence]

So, the basket is nothing but a modern metaphor for a very ancient process called ‘Neti Neti’. The point of ‘Neti Neti’ [‘not this, not this’] is not to push away anything, not to exclude anything, but to just check: What else is there?

All this realm of change is there.

Is there something which is unchanging about me?

Is there something about me which is beyond birth and death, beyond time and space, beyond light and sound?

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Attention Exists in the Light of Your Seeing

A:So, who is aware of that which is changing? Is that you or another? What can we say about this one? Is It Itself changing? Then It is You! And It is aware. [Chuckles] And? [Silence] You will not find much to say about it.

Q: In the pure Seeing, there is no objects.

A: In the pure Seeing, there is no objects; yes!

Q: When I close my eyes… [Laughs]

A: Okay, but when you open your eyes?

Questioner: But that problem must be solved. [Chuckles]

A:That which is aware of the eyes closing and opening, is that an object?

Q:Problem is though, I see objects. In the pure Seeing, there is no objects.

A:Pure Seeing Itself is not objective in quality and yet there is nothing really outside of It. Even the appearance of objects is just an appearance within Itself.

Q:When I close my eyes, it is very tangible what you say. But when I open my eyes…, I know I am aware. I can see my body, I can see all these objects; all these bodies as objects.

A: Yes, they are all objects.

Q: They are essentially all object.

A: So now, how is the pure Seeing touched by any object or affected by them? Did it go away?

Q:The Seeing didn’t go away. Then it gets attracted to certain things. You know? This is beautiful…

A:Okay, so if there is attraction, attention wants to go to a specific object. What happened to the Seeing?

Attention exists in the light of your Seeing. Does attention exist because You exist? Or do you exist because attention exists?

Q: Because there is attention, we know we exist.

A:But Knowingness is dependent also on attention to an object?

Q:Yes.

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A:But can there be attention without this Knowingness? Can you testify to anything unless there is a Knowingness of it?

Q: Unless there is a Knowingness, I cannot Know attention.

A:Therefore, what? It is just subsidiary, just an aspect of You, but does not get in the way. If you did not have an idea that ‘This is how it should be’ …, the Self or the Seeing, if you did not even have the notion ‘pure’ and you just let everything be as it is; not trying to get to any stage?

Q: But then something is moving. I have to close my eyes for that.

A:Nothing wrong with closing your eyes. I am also closing my eyes many times. But I am just saying: Does that change anything for You in Reality; except the taste of your experience changes? You see?

It’s like saying that when you eat a grape, you have all your attention on the grape. The taste seems much more alive and vibrant because your attention is focused on that (versus where you are just eating the grape and working on the computer, talking to someone; you don’t even notice the taste).

Are we just talking about the quality of the phenomenal experience and the by-products of it, which could be joy or bliss? Or we are talking about something fundamentally being different, depending on whether eyes are closed or open?

Q: Not fundamentally different; just the ecstasy factor is still much of an assumption.

A:So, what stops you from closing your eyes? [They laugh together] As much ecstasy you want is available to you; on tap, no? [Laughing] As long as you want the taste of that, Consciousness will play with that. It’s a beautiful taste, too.

Q: Yes. [They laugh together]

A:So, what might seem like a ‘But…, (something)’ is not a ‘But’ at all. It’s included. You want ecstasy, eyes closed. Want a break from ecstasy? Eyes open. [Laughing together]’

What actually what I am showing you is your own Presence. There is no higher taste. Even the taste that you might be experiencing in the physical form of the Master is only arising because of your own Presence, the Existence of your own Being. I’m constantly just pointing you to that. But thankfully, in the design of this play, it is designed like this so that until you find this for YourSelf, within YourSelf, you don’t get super distracted with too much else. For some, it plays like that. So, it is good.

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It Has to Be Your Own Insight

What I am saying is that if you were to throw away everything that you think and everything that I say, what is the insight you are having about yourself?

And I am proposing to you that what I am sharing in Satsang resonates with that direct insight.

But you have to tell me that ‘No. When I check really about that ‘what I am, where I am’ …, what you are saying does not resonate with that. What I am thinking actually resonates more with that.’ And if you say that, then of course I would not say ‘No, don’t go just with what mind is saying.’ I am just proposing that: Let’s for a minute presume that what is this mind is saying about you is not the Truth about You. See if upon your own investigation you find that the words of Satsang are true or what the mind is saying is true.

So, first you see this for yourself. And then when you see this for yourself, then you will find that ‘How should I be with someone who is undergoing all of this pain?’ is not a problem that you have to solve anyway. Because in the light of Your Existence, automatically the thought flow just flows.

So, what matches more with your insight about yourself? Does your thinking match it more? Or does what you are hearing in Satsang match it more? [Q says: Satsang] Yes, that is why it is important. Because we have to have our own discovery as the pillar for this. The words of Satsang can just be pointers, they can just be clues for your exploration. But if it just becomes about two different types of concepts that you to deal with; one is the concept that ‘Oh, I am this; that life has all of this is struggle and trouble’ and there is another concept which seems like ‘Oh, but you are not here at all; you are not in this universe.’ (That seems very convenient.) [Chuckles] It can seem like that, isn’t it?

And I know that the habit in the natural way in this world has become to treat that as reality, which is that ‘I am this individual and I have all this trouble to deal with.’ And you will hear this voice in Satsang which is saying ‘But just examine for yourself whether it is true. Don’t take my word for it, don’t just believe me. But just be open enough to check with yourself.’ And if at some point that is a disconnect, then I am very happy [to speak about it]. Otherwise, the mind is saying that you are limited and this sounds like a very convenient escapism or something like that; that I know the mind will say anyway.

So, I am not inviting you to escape from reality. I am actually inviting you to look at it without any glasses on; naked, look at reality and tell me what you find.

[Silence] And this will hold you in good step. No matter what comes in life, which teacher is there, which environment you are in, whether you are in war zone or you are in a nice place; if you just learn to rely on your own insight, then it is in very good step. You can’t disassociate. Somebody said ‘It’s like this, this, this’. [You may say] ‘Oh, I see it.’ And if someone comes and says ‘No, no, you can’t see it. You have to just take my word for it’ …, then you can safely run. [Chuckles] Because this must be verifiable in your own inner insight; what is being shared. Otherwise it’s just words.

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It’s Gone, Unless You Pick Up Past and Future

[Reads from chat]: She is saying “Please help me be rid of this oscillation; this coming to the true insight, and then experiencing all these emotions which I don’t want to experience, and then trying to pick up this spiritual protection in a way.” She is saying that “I’m tired of this, I’m just tired of this back and forth.” [Silence]

Now, I know that you know that the answer is that whatever you’re tired of is already gone [Smiles] …, unless you pick up some idea of past and future. So, one way is to see this is that ‘Right Now, I just exist independently of whatever might have happened and whatever is going to happen. My Truth, My Being, is untouched by any experience.’ Or you can ask yourself ‘So, who is this ‘me’ that is tired?’ What will become the journey, what will become seemingly- cumbersome is that if I also start buying into the idea of this ‘me’ then we start dealing with the situation pretending that there is a ‘me’ here and a ‘me’ there, and both these ‘me’s’ are trying to help each other. There’s too much presuming in that. [Silence] So, if I say to you that ‘The one who has asked for help has been helped and is gone; Now you are fresh’ [Silence] …, does it sound like mystical mumbo-jumbo to you? [Laugh]) Sounds like a situation that can’t be? ‘I need help!’ [Chuckles] But you present ‘this one’ …, that is the problem.

[Reads chat]: “Why is it not sticking?!” (And you’re writing big caps now, big letters.) [Chuckles] “Why is it not sticking permanently!?” (If my throat was better I would have shouted it out.) “Why is it not sticking here that I am always fresh in the moment? I keep forgetting.”

Yes, this is just a habit. I believe Satsang is for this habit. If this habit was not there, we would See that this is so true, what is being spoken: Your Being is complete and fresh. It has no past, it has no future. It is All There Is. It is so apparent to You.

If Being itself had not picked up this play of picking up the limited ideas about Itself, then we would not present this Satsang every day. No matter what the conditioning is, we all feel like we have some special conditioning that seems to be the most sticky. But, actually all of humanity seems to be struggling with the same mode of variables. [Silence] And blessed are those who are able to get this glimpse of this Being, this Freshness, this Newness; even for a moment in their lives. So, while you are saying ‘Why can’t I just stay like this? Why does it go away?’ …, do you think it would be a little bit grateful to say that ‘I am so blessed, that amongst the thousands of Beings that I have met in this world, I’ve at least had a few moments of this recognition.’? [Silence] How much of your family is in Satsang? How many among the people that you know are in Satsang? They’ve not even had a moment of this.

Instead of grasping for ‘Why this? Why? Why can’t I have more of this?’ [Covers Heart with hands] …, there is more a sense of ‘Thank you. Thank you. I see now what I Am.’

Then something seems to settle more easily this way.

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Meet Yourself Until the Concept of ‘Meeting’ Dissolves

[Reads from chat]: “I don’t care to speak but I have been spending a lot of time lately meeting or checking in to feel, sense, see my own Self. Is this as effective as staying as I am, staying with I am?”

Yes. As I have been saying, meet yourself till the concepting of meeting dissolves. Even in the staying with the ‘I Am’ the notion of staying dissolves. It is just I Am. As you meet YourSelf, You See that only the Self IS, and then you will come to see that it is impossible to leave my Self.

I know it can seem like it’s a bit of a play but the thing is that we discover OurSelf, we are finding that this Self includes all things. And yet this unchanging has been ignored, has been kept aside for so long that, as we are meeting OurSelf in this way, then for a while it can seem like we are divesting from other things. But actually, as You continue to meet YourSelf in this way, it expands this meeting, which includes all things. And this is the very same as what [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘To be with the sense I Am; to remain with your Presence.’

What is most important is to meet YourSelf without judgement, without interpretation, without any conceptual meaning. And I was saying the other day that You are meeting the most enlightened Being. But what is the deal with the Being? The Being says ‘If I am interpreted or judged by My own aspect called the mind, then I will pretend as if I am a limited entity, I am a personal existence.’ You are meeting Your universal Existence till the notion of the one that is coming to this meeting dissolves. And that is Now. Meet YourSelf and tell me if the one who wanted to meet themselves still remains. [Silence]

Dive into your Being. [Silence] And notice whether you can actually ever step out of Your Being. What is your original position? What is the starting point itself?

Then you will find that all that seems to happen is that the gravitational pull of sensations and perceptions seems to attract our attention. And because attention goes to these things, it can feel like ‘I left my Self’. But it is not true that with the movement of attention You leave YourSelf. But for a while, as we bring OurSelf back naturally to this simple Being, natural Presence, You will See that it’s just not possible to leave this.

So, for those of you for whom it seems natural, playful, easy, not hard work, you can stay with this. Stay with Your Divine Presence. It’s always been Here. [Silence]

As you meet YourSelf, See if you can leave YourSelf unharassed by any expectation of what should happen or even a conceptual checking on what is happening. Let all concepts come and go.

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Nothing is Missing, You Are Here

Know that you cannot do this wrong. Because many might be feeling like ‘Am I doing this right? Is there something missing in this?’ [Smiles] Nothing is missing.

You are Here.

It’s simpler than saying ‘I know that I am sitting here. I know that I am listening to the words you are speaking’. Simpler than any of this, more natural than everything, is the Awareness of this Existence. You are aware that You Exist. It is the basis for all other things. You cannot get this wrong.

What is the misinterpretation? It is when we say ‘But this is not enough. It can’t be this. It is too simple.’ [Smiles]. That is just a misunderstanding, because this, what You are finding, Your Presence, is the light of all things. But don’t push for any of these insights. Let them arise naturally for you if they must.

You just enjoy YourSelf.

You just enjoy the taste of your own Being, Your own Presence.

‘I Am’.

‘I Am, I Exist’.

Everything else seems significant only because You Exist.

This Existence itself has been the greatest gift that you have given YourSelf.

[Meditative Silence]

And for those of you for whom this Existence, this Being, seems like a confusing notion, you don’t have to go on an expedition trying to find this Being. You don’t have to go looking for Being.

See if you ‘cannot’ Be.

Can you stop Existing?

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What is Already Here Without Looking for It?

[Reading from chat]: “It really is the best way to start. Sometimes reading scriptures and such, the mind can get caught up, seeming that this is some mysterious and aloof thing.”

Yes. That’s why I’ve been saying that I am the bearer of good news. [Smiles] That this truth which you are looking for is the simplest. In fact, that which doesn’t even seem like looking; does not even need looking.

What is already here without looking for it?

What is just present without looking for it?

If you are then like ‘I am just tired. I am not going to look for anything at all. I am done with this inquiry thing. No exploring, no finding, no looking; nothing.’ But even for all of this, You have to be there, no?

Can you get rid of this You?

Get rid of YourSelf.

See? This is the funny thing. [Chuckles] Here we are looking for that which we can’t be rid of.

That is why both Shankara and Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi said that ‘True knowledge is just the dropping of false ignorance. It is not the finding of something new.’ Because you have always been the Self. You have just considered YourSelf to be something else, something limited.

How many are getting the essence of what I am saying about this? Because it is really important. Otherwise, you can keep feeling like you have come to some place of truth or something like that; whereas the Sages have said that ‘No, You Are That already. It is only what you are considering yourself to be which is false.’ And as you remain empty of these notions, You are the full and complete Self, with nothing missing.

That which tells you that there is something missing or somewhere to go; that is just a mistaken notion about who you are. Because it is not speaking about You-as Consciousness, about You- as-the Self. It is speaking about you as a limited entity, which is never true.

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Just Enjoy Your Being

My proposition to you right now is that You are full and complete, the enlightened Being, in this very moment. All you need to do (if there is something to be done at all) is to taste this for YourSelf. And then you will see that I did not pick a special moment to say this. I know this to be true about You Right Now. That means it must always be true about You. It just cannot be that I say it so many times during the Satsang and it is only during that time that the Self is there, isn’t it? Full and complete,

So, this recognition is always Here. This means that You are always just This…, but You are considering yourself to be something else.

So, forget about all your benchmarks. Forget about what ‘enlightened’ look like, what freedom must appear to be. Forget about all experiences that should happen, all super-powers that you should get.

Enjoy Your Being.

Because all these expectations are pointless. But as You enjoy your Being …, (okay, I am not going to say what, [Smiles] because then it becomes ‘expectation’.)

Just enjoy Your Being. [Smiles]

There is no enlightenment. Just enjoy Your Being [Smiles]

So, either we can say that Your Being is already the most enlightened, or we can say there is no enlightenment.

The main point is: Enjoy your Being.

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Life is Responding to Your Truest Calling

[Reading from chat]: “Enjoying my Being sometimes confines only until my focus is inside (not outside in this world) and free from notions. But it is still short lived.”

Like, for some time it will seem that life gives us very little time for this. But at least whatever time it gives you, if it is used in this, then you will find that you are not leaving this, and more and more gets included in this itself. Till you come to a point when you could be in the busiest marketplace, and you find that ‘Oh, this is within my Being. I never leave my Being.’

I know that life is not vindictive. It is only responding to whatever is your truest calling. So, instead of feeling that life should give me more time and space to enjoy my Being, just feel grateful for whatever time life is giving you already. And in the sense of gratitude, it will continue to grow, will continue to deepen, in a sense. Even a moment in a lifetime is actually more than enough. How many meet themselves in this pure, open, naked way, empty of all notions, for even a few moments in their lifetimes?

So, the life has given us this space and openness even for this much; we are very, very grateful for it. [Silence]

There is nothing greater that you will ever discover about yourself than Your Being, than YourSelf; That which is aware even of this Being. And it is just so ever-present that you will See that all this trying has just been a game, has just been a play. We have tried to be ‘something’. But the dropping of ‘something’ is not a trying. It is what is naturally available to you, in this moment. Just ‘Ah…’ [Closes eyes and smiles]

There’s nothing you have to do to create this. You Are This. And you can never leave this. Although attention for a bit can seem like it is going too far from your true Self; it is never true. Attention never leaves You. But like I said, don’t worry about trying to grasp these insights yet. Just enjoy YourSelf. Not your objective self (which is also available for your full enjoyment, of course) but enjoy YourSelf which is the unchanging One…, Your natural, original Existence.

[Silence]

And suppose even that these objective distinctions were real, and the apple was an apple and you were this body. The taste of the sweetest apple; does the joy come from the apple? Or does it come from You?

So, the Source of all joy must be You. You don’t have to look anywhere else.

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Anything To Do to Just Sit Where You Are Sitting?

I was saying in the retreat that ‘How many steps that do you have to take to sit exactly where you are sitting right now?’

And to be YourSelf is even more natural than sitting where you are; that you cannot not be.

So, this idea of becoming, of getting to it, is the ignorance that Shankara is talking about. Because it implies that you must be something limited right now and you will become the unlimited Self. Becoming implies the change.

And what have these Sages said about the Self? That It is the One which is unchanging.

So, forget about becoming Self- realized, getting in to the truth.

Enjoy That which you already Are.

There is nothing missing in You.

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Attention is a Not the Same as Awareness

Q: You said ‘Attention does not leave you.’

A:Attention also does not leave you. Even though also it might seem like ‘Oh, I am leaving myself and going to worldly things.’ But you will find even this attention is moving about just within Your own screen of Consciousness, Your own Being. It does not leave you. But in the beginning, it can feel like as attention goes on this objective world, it can feel like ‘Oh, I am moving away from the Self.’ That is why I said, for those who feel it is natural, for whatever time they have in a day, they can just rest in this simple Existence, in Your natural Being. And then they will find that ‘Even this movement of attention does not seem to take me away from My Being. Everything is just included in That.’ But even this movement of attention back and forth does not change the Reality of what You already Are.

So, there comes a point that wherever your attention might go, you will find that it is just within Yourself. It is not that this is something new that God created. It is just the recognition of something that is already been, always been.

Q: What is another name for it? Presence or Awareness? Would you call it attention?

A:No, not really. I would say that attention is one of the most primal tools of the Self. So, it is that tool which makes that (on which attention goes) seem to exist in our worldly play. So, it is just a tool. And what you’ll find is that as you come to the recognition of That which is aware, even of existence, aware even of attention, there the play of attention is also not. Like in deep sleep, there is no such thing as attention. So, when you’re waking (I sometimes jokingly call them the co-joined twins; I don’t know whether you’ve heard this one) when the waking happens, it is very natural, of course, to say that ‘When I exist, when my Being is here, then this power of attention is available to It as one of Its primal forces.’ But you will find that this attention is very, very primal. You can say ‘I have my attention even on Being. As I inquire ‘Who is aware of Being?’ my attention is going to Being.’ So, although it is fine to say that Your Being is prior to attention, but actually both are prior to time.

So, although it is very, very intimate to the Self, I would not use attention as another name for the Self. Because ultimately, even attention is something which comes and goes. And the second thing about attention is that, unlike Awareness, unlike the Self, it is limited. You look at this, [Points] you imagine a tree, and you hear some music. ‘No, no, I can’t have attention on all of that. Tell me what you want me to focus on.’ [Smiles] So, for those of us who have kids, you know this already. The kids are all asking attention at the same time. But you run out of it. So, although it is a very, very beautiful and intimate tool, it is the experience of something which is so quality-less, like the quality-less taste of Awareness Itself, and yet it is not the same. It is like the ‘phenomenal twin’ of Self…, because it is limited, everything phenomenal is limited.

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Coming to this Simple Spaciousness

You are the Self. This is Your existent Reality. It is not changing.

The mind is designed as an interpreter of all that is changing. [Silence] The interpreter of the changing cannot give you good directions to that which is unchanging. And I am not saying that we have to come into some sort of denial of that which is changing. What I am saying is that it deserves some of your time. [Silence]

So, what can you say about YourSelf, which is the unchanging?

Q: It is always Here.

A:It is always Here. [Silence] Is it dependent on anything at all? [Silence] This is the unchanging Self, which is Your ever-present Reality.

Did you do anything to create this? Can you lose this? [Silence]

Your very Existence, Your very Being, is Here effortlessly.

All our effort is to be something. But just to Be, who’s making an effort? [Silence] Just to exist, what is needed? [Silence]

And as Existence is Here, the appearance of these images is also here automatically; all these perceptions, all these sensations. Nothing needs to be changed or fixed. And all the seeming- changing and fixing also happens on its own in the light of Your Existence. That’s why Master Bankei said ‘All things are perfectly resolved in the Unborn.’ You don’t have to give birth to an individual pretend-entity for the resolution of anything at all. If you just hear this point today, you’ll experience a lot more peace, a lot more spaciousness. ‘All things are perfectly resolved in the Unborn.’ Nothing needs your personal intervention. [Silence] No person is real anyway. You are just the Self being the Self.

And I am very happy also that many of you are hearing what I am saying over the past few weeks, and coming to this simple spaciousness, this effortless openness, this boundless Existence.

The greatest prize in the Universe is already Here. Nothing is more glorious than the glory of Your own Existence, Your own Self. You’ve played as if you have waited so long to meet YourSelf.

Just meet YourSelf Now. [Silence]

This is the meeting you have been waiting for.

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Your Unchanging Self is Here

You have met millions of objects, thousands of bodies, now it is time to meet YourSelf. All those objects and bodies will still be there to play with, but take this time to come to this auspicious meeting

Now the concept of meeting itself becomes meaningless, because You are YourSelf. You always have been.

You don’t have to think about meeting YourSelf.

You don’t have to create any feelings about it,

You just Are.

No concept is needed, no notion is required.

Your unchanging Self is Here.

Now we are done with this idea that ‘It is too simple’. We are done with the idea that ‘Myself cannot be the True Self’, that ‘I must be incomplete’, that ‘I must be more devoted’, that ‘I must become more free’. All these notions can be thrown away now.

As you meet Your own Holy Presence, You notice that It is fully full and complete.

Now the mind will come and try and sell you a position about YourSelf. Accept this mind, it is doing its job well. But See for yourself that no position is true about You.

Let it all go.

Let it all go.

Enjoy the taste of Your Existence.

Enjoy the space of Your Being

And let all things come and go.

Whatever words have appeared from your mouth, let them go; they were exactly as they were meant to be. Whatever actions have appeared from this body, let them go.

Nothing moves without the will of Consciousness.

Whatever thoughts, emotions, sensations, perceptions are coming, let them come and let them go.

Nothing can shake You in Reality.

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Welcome This Holy Fire of Your Own Presence

Your Being is Here. Unchanged.

[Silence]

They are not coming to a new state.

You don’t have to hold on to anything.

[Silence]

What can get in the way of Your Existence?

What can make a doer or a sufferer out of You?

[Silence]

It’s only when God puts on this mask of individuality that You can play in this way. Welcome this holy fire of your Presence. Welcome the burning of all that is false. Let the mind come with all its force if it has to. But nothing can shake Your true Presence.

[Silence]

Even your greatest spiritual fantasy cannot compare with Your simple Reality.

[Silence]

Truth is neither boring nor exciting; It just IS. Beyond all these notions, beyond feelings and thoughts, beyond memories and projections, beyond the content of your experience (as blissful or bothersome as it might seem) You are beyond it. Let the body do what the body will do. It is nothing but a wave of the ocean that You Are.

[Silence]

Let everything be, including the movements of this body, the actions that seem to appear, the inactions which can bother you.

Find That, recognize That, which remains untouched.

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Wherever You Draw a Boundary, A Notion is There

When I speak about the ocean and the coconut…, for how many of you is it clear?

[Looks at sangha] ‘Clear?’

Because we can clarify this; because in the play, it can seem very, very sticky: ‘I am discovering that I am the limitless one, but why is this body still not behaving like that?’

What you are finding about YourSelf is that You Are That in which all of these appearances are coming and going. This body/mind is just another aspect of that appearance. It is only because we have been habituated to believe that just these appearances are ‘me’ that it can seem like we want to then capture the limitless in this tiny container of sensations. We cannot do it.

So, as we leave the existence of this worldly object to Existence Itself, then we see that we don’t have to manage anything at all. All things are moving and have been moving in their own light; in the light of Consciousness.

There is no ‘individual’ speaking these words right now and there is no ‘individual’ hearing them. It is just Consciousness speaking with Consciousness.

Wherever you draw a boundary for YourSelf, know that there is a notion there which is not true. Wherever you create a sense of idea of limitation about YourSelf, know that there is a notion there which is not real about You.

Notionlessly, who can show me a boundary?

So, the job of the mind (the job of this aspect of You called ‘the mind’) is to convince Consciousness Itself that It is a limited entity. For a while, Consciousness has played as if It bought into these ideas. And now It is ridding Itself of them.

What you are Seeing is the big ‘I’, the unlimited ‘I’.

What needs your belief is the small concept of ‘i’.

You are experiencing Your Truth.

But to believe, to pose as if You are limited, means a notion about YourSelf.

Trust Your Presence to resolve all things perfectly.

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Now and Fresh, All Burdens are Gone

The very first thing in the morning, You met an enlightened Being, which is Your own Self.

Now this poor Being has been judged and judged and judged and judged [Laughter] with so many interpretations already this morning. No wonder it seems like a burdened donkey or something.

Yet, what is the promise of the Being? That as you meet It fresh, all the burdens are gone. Past is irrelevant for it. The future means nothing. You just Are. And I promise you that what You just Are, in this moment, without judgment, is the most enlightened Being you will ever meet.

Is it possible that all of you are getting it right now? Are seeing the simple Reality, completely? You don’t have to become deserving of it; no worthiness is needed.

And whatever…, if there was something needed?

It has already been done.

[Silence]

Every moment, You are fresh, You are new; empty of all this conceptual dust that you gathered. You might have even believed that it is some great treasure that we are picking up along the way; all these concepts about ourselves. But Now, we see that it was nothing but dust. And we can allow it to fall away. In fact, it is already gone.

You will still get invitations for new dust [Chuckles] mostly in the form of ‘but …’ (something). ‘But…, what about my work? But…, what about my family? But…, why do I lose my temper? But…, why is the sangha like this? But …’ [Chuckles].

None of this about the real You. No doubt can apply to the Truth of what You Are. It only applies to ‘the coconut’.

All our self-righteousness, all our special-ness, all our humility and unworthiness, has not brought us any peace. All of it has only served as dust in Your eyes.

Meet YourSelf with fresh eyes now.

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This Is the Essence of Satsang

As usual, I have some very good news for all of you. [Smiles] The good news today is that: You Are the Self.

[Smiles]

You Are the Self.

Now, why is this good news? [Smiles] What’s so cool about this? What’s so cool about Being the Self? What’s the big deal? The big deal is that Your greater Reality is beyond time and space. Now, this is a very big deal. And to recognize this is what Satsang is for.

Because so far in our life, we have identified ourselves with something which is contained in time and space. All our reports about ourself have been about an object which is within these four dimensions. But You Are the Self…, which means that wherever you might be and whatever time it might be, I can say this to you and it is the Truth. That is why I do not have to pick and choose a time and I don’t have to pick and choose a place; I don’t have to pick and choose your circumstances; don’t have to pick and choose your relationships and the status of them; don’t have to worry about your monetary status because all these things are in the realm of time and space. You Are That which is beyond time and space. You Are the Self.

Now, there can be some confusion about this. [Chuckles] And if you give it to the mind anyway everything becomes confusing. But one of the confusions about this can be ‘So, if I am the eternal one, then what was I doing before I created the world? And what will I do after the world is gone.’ [Chuckles] Because our eternity, it can seem like ‘Oh, that is a very long time.’ It can seem like I have just been sitting around for a long time, millions of years. And then I create this world. And then I dissolve this world. And then again I am sitting around for millions of years.’ But this is confusion. This is a mistaken notion of Eternity. Eternity means That which is beyond time. It is not an infinitely long time. Eternity means that [Closes eyes] in Your light, time and space, they appear. And by Your will, they disappear. By the will of Consciousness Itself, by the will of the Self. So, to ask what the Self is doing when it is not playing with the world is a mistaken notion because that ‘when’ does not exist. There is no time there.

Now, what’s the cool thing about this? [Smiles] The cool thing about this is that YourSelf, Right Now, is not subject to time. Only that which is appearing in Its light (this realm of appearances, this content) is subject to time. It is not that Your Being is getting any older; It is just independent of it. And this is a very important clue. This content is moving around in time and space, but You are independent of these…, Your very Existence Right Now. And You cannot stop Being. This Being is already beyond time and space. So, allow that which is moving in time and space to move. Allow this dance to happen as it will. But recognize Your greater Reality which is Effortlessly present.

Recognize this: You are Here. God is Here. Self is Here. Satguru is Here. But this Here is not a ‘here’ contained in time or space. It is That which contains all things.

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Now, it is some kind of magic that this Being, this Self, which is beyond time and space, plays as if, pretends as if, It is just a mere person so limited in time and in space. But this is never True about You. So, all that we are recognizing is that which is already True about You. And if there are 7 billion conversations which are happening in this so-called world right now, 6.9999 billion conversations must be about You as a limited entity. And it is a very rare conversation which is inviting the recognition of Your unlimitedness. And this conversation is called Satsang: the company of the Truth.

I have some more excellent news for you, which is that as you remain empty of interpretations and judgments, empty of concept, the recognition of Your True Self is inherently present. The Truth is apparent to You. So, you don’t have to struggle with this recognition, you don’t even have to struggle with making it stable; it just Is. All that can ‘seem to happen’ …

Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had this beautiful example, where one day he was sitting with his devotees, and using a tiny finger, he covered his eye. And a devotee said ‘What are you doing?’ [Chuckles] Bhagavan said ‘Just like when we use this tiny finger, it can seem to prevent our seeing the entire universe. In the same way, a tiny concept, a tiny notion about ourself, can seem to obscure the greater Reality of what We Are: the timeless, changeless Self. And this is completely apparent to You, Right Now.

Meet YourSelf Now and You will See that it is True.

All limitations, all boundaries, all duration are just notional constructs for You. They have no Reality.

So, if you want to meet the most enlightened Being you will ever meet, you want to have the darshan of that which is Krishna Himself, meet YourSelf without judgments, till the notion of meeting itself dissolves. All interpretation, all judgment, is about something which is in time and space. Let this realm of time and space move on its own. Let this dance of Shiva (for Himself) entertain You. But Now, You are done with the idea that You are contained within this dance.

That is ignorance. And as you are shinning the light of your own Self Knowledge: all this ignorance is dissolving; the ignorance that ‘I am a limited something; a mere object in time and space.’

However, I have said true about You Right Now: You are the self.

You were never born, will never die.

Time will change nothing about You.

You can never lose YourSelf, leave YourSelf.

Therefore, you can never find YourSelf.

Only You can recognize what already has been.

The terminology you use, whether you call it God, Guru or Self, doesn’t really matter. These are just words, concepts, to point to that which is indescribable.

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Now, the mind will come and say ‘But what does all of this mean for the body/mind which is located in time and space?’ And my advice about this is to forget about it. Because if I say that nothing has to change, then the mind will come and say ‘But the Sage looks and appears different.’ And if I say that ‘Your very Presence will convey so much love, light and peace.’ then the mind will say that ‘This has to happen first.’ It becomes an expectation. So, as you are recognizing YourSelf to be That (Your greater Reality to be That) which is beyond time and space, then everything which is in time and space will take care of itself; and that especially includes this body/mind.

Don’t wait to find symptoms of freedom in this appearance to mean something for You. You See what you are already. And don’t allow any symptoms which seem to convey that you are not free. Don’t make a judgment about yourself based on these. For some time, just let it be. Leave the world alone, leave the body alone. It doesn’t need any intervention from an imagined entity.

And as you are discovering YourSelf to be this Self, You will See that all is shining in Your own light anyway. So, all of spirituality is just about how to leave it alone. Bhagavan has prescribed two main paths to discover the pathless reality. What are the two main paths? They are surrender and Self -inquiry.’

When the invitation comes from the mind to make something into nothing, you heard from the Sages to ‘Just leave it alone.’ But the keeps inviting you and saying ‘No, no, this is a thing for you.’ And the problem is not the ‘thing’ in itself but the presumption that there is a limited you who has to take care of that thing. So, whatever the mind’s invitation might be, surrender it to that Higher Force for which you feel a little bit of devotion to, at least a little bit of devotion, and say it is the ‘Satguru’s problem, Guruji’s problem, God’s problem, Father’s problem.’ You don’t have to make anything something, because everything belongs to the Satguru now. This is the path of surrender, letting go; what I call ‘Remaining at my Father’s feet.’ (But you can pick whatever metaphor seems most apt to you.) Very simply, you are not making a thing out of anything. Nothing is a thing. You know what I mean, no? [Smiles]

The second is the path of self-inquiry, which means that when this invitation comes from the mind to make something out of nothing, to convince you that something…, to convince you of your own something-ness actually, then you use that for your Self-inquiry.

So, for example, if the mind is saying ‘I am not free yet’ (which is a very popular notion) it is convincing you that you are a limited entity who needs to get something…, which is completely opposed to your own Self-recognition that You are beyond All There Is. So, if it says that ‘I am not free yet’ then you enquire and say ‘Who is the ‘I’ that is not free?’ When the thought comes with some answer, you ask ‘Who witnesses even this?’ If there are some emotions, then you look with a wonder and say ‘What witnesses even these?’ As naturally as possible, as playfully as possible, we look for the reality of ‘I’. This is the path of Self-inquiry.

And it doesn’t have to be surrender or self-inquiry. It doesn’t have to be bhakti [Devotion] or gyan [Knowledge]. It doesn’t have to be devotion or knowledge. In fact, with one, the seeming- second automatically arises. So, whatever feels more natural to you is completely fine. This is the essence of Satsang.

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As You Meet YourSelf, the Idea of You Disappears

To Be is very simple. Simpler than simple. You just Are. Nobody is taking any effort to Be. And to not Be is impossible. You couldn’t do it if you tried.

So, this Being is Your Divine Presence already.

It is the existence of Consciousness, it is the existence of the Greatest Being ever. You don’t have to hold onto it because actually You can never let go of it.

And already and most naturally, You know this. I Exist, I Am. Because if You were unaware of this, then even a simple thing like ‘I am sitting’ you would not be able to say. ‘I am here’ you would not be able to say. It is as simple as that. Before you can see what this body is doing, You experience Your own Presence, which is unlimited by any body sensation.

So, if I was to say ‘You are not sitting. [Laughing] You’re not sitting.’ You would say ‘But I am.’ …, ‘You’re not sitting.’ …, ‘But I am.’ It can sound very simple what I’m saying but what you’re being pointed to is this ‘I Am’ which is independent of any position of the body; sitting, standing, laying down.

You just Are.

Effortlessly, You Exist.

So, all that has happened is This that Is, This what Is, is playing as if it is making a mistake about what It is. This that You Are, is playing as if It is misidentifying Itself to be a limited entity. The Truth is just Here effortlessly. To play with this identity takes energy. You see? To play with identity takes energy and therefore, that is effort. To rest naturally, you don’t have to expend any energy.

To pick up notions about YourSelf, to pick up concepts about YourSelf takes effort. And we are tired of this effort. (I don’t know about you but I am tired.) [Laughing]

If you were to take the effort for twenty-four hours to believe all these notions about yourself which the mind is offering up, and [for that] I will give you a full expense-paid vacation in Hawaii, [Laughter] I would not take it. It just sounds like too much work.

[Reads a chat note] “I would not take it anymore.” Exactly.

And yet I do remember that there is a time, even when this is Known, where it can feel like the effort is to let go of my concepts. It can seem like that was effort because the power of the habit, the seeming-gravitational force of the mind, seems so attractive that to be just the observer of it and not to get caught up with my belief of what was showing up, that seemed like more effort.

Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had this very beautiful example where he said that initially it can feel like it is effort to keep this heavy bag down. We’ve been carrying it and that has become

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so much of our habit that it can seem like ‘I have to make an effort to put the bag down.’ But it is actually to carry this burden of limitations which had been the effort.

And how can you See this? You can only See this Now. Naturally, in this moment, You are empty of all notions about YourSelf. Effortlessly this is here. You don’t have to do anything to create this. Your total Existence, the most enlightened Being, is what You already Are Right Now. In fact, You are the light if this entire universe; most naturally, already, Here and Now.

And if you don’t say ‘But…’ then I don’t have anything more to say. But if you say ‘But I think something more has to happen’ …, ‘But I heard that I will have some halo around my head’ or ‘But what about yesterday when I got angry with my partner?’ …, ‘But what about these feelings of constriction? Why didn’t they go?’ …, ‘But what about my doubts about this path, about the teacher, about my own Self?’

What about all of this? Nothing! Because it is already gone.

And soon you will start to see that it is in the picking up of all this again and again that is taking up all our energy, that is making us tired. God being God is not tired. God pretending to be a tired person is the play.

One Sangha member recently said ‘Maybe Father has given up on us.’ [Chuckling) Half-jokingly she said ‘Father’s given up on us so he’s not trying to take us to the complete truth now. He’s just saying ‘You are enough as you are.’ [Chuckling] But this is not true. I’ve always just been saying this in different ways…, that What IS, Here and Now, is the greatest Being ever; beyond time and space, beyond any objective appearances.

You’re here in Satsang to meet YourSelf. You can have many, many places all over the world where you can meet many different things, different people, different objects, different situations, different events, different experiences. Satsang is where You come to meet YourSelf. And actually, anywhere that You meet YourSelf is Satsang. But so auspicious is this meeting that the idea of meeting itself dissolves.

So, if you feel like something has to be done, then my advice is just meet YourSelf without any judgment, without expectation, without interpretation.

[Silence]

You are meeting God

And because this is the meeting that Buddha had and Buddha disappeared, this is meeting that Jesus had and Jesus disappeared, that is why it is this very Divine Presence Now that we can call Buddha or Jesus.

As you meet YourSelf the idea of ‘you’ disappears.

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You Will Recognize That Which You’ve Always Been

You will not become enlightened person, but you will come to see that what exists is only the enlightened Being. This is your effortless and timeless Truth. Such is the power of this meeting, that after this meeting you will See that there is nothing else to meet but MySelf. That’s why I say that ‘wherever you may wonder, you will only find YourSelf.’

Sometimes you will say ‘But…, but I know there is something missing.’ No, you don’t. [Chuckles] You just think you know. [Laughter] ‘But I know it can’t be this’. No, you don’t.

[Chuckles] ‘But it can’t be so simple. I know this can’t be so simple’. No, you don’t. [Laughter] You don’t know anything at all.

And if you See that you don’t know really, then you will be open to the recognition that this discovery that you are making now is exactly what all the Sages have spoken about. If you leave all the stories of the metaphysical things and the halos and the siddhis, you keep it aside, you will find that the recognition is always the same. You will find that You only recognize that which You have always been.

And those who now want this Truth for Truth sake alone will find it so easy. But those who still feel that the discovery that ‘I am the ocean’ should still mean something for this ‘coconut body’ will still seem to play with the journey, play with the struggle.

When you look, you find that you are there? Or no? [Laughter] You are there, no?

This You: is God. And the one that is looking is God. Is there room for ‘me’ here? It has room for all things to appear, but there is nothing separate from God. So, all that can appear and disappear is in the light of God; on the screen of God.

A few months ago, I used to say that ‘Whenever you make a report about yourself, just replace ‘I’ with ‘God’. [Smiles] And those who have some conditioning around God can say ‘Consciousness’.

Who has a report?

[Someone says]: ‘But …, when will I See this? Replace that with ‘When will God See this?’

[Someone says]: ‘I am not getting it.’ Replace that with ‘God is not getting it’.

These are not just word games. They can sound like just word-play or some funny exercise.

[Someone says]: ‘I am not worthy enough’. .. ‘God is not worthy enough’

[Laughter]

Yogi Ramsuratkumar said ‘If God is what you want, why are you even open to the possibility of anything else?’

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To Transcend Means To See You Were Never Caught

A:This is what I mean: No matter what the content is, what the appearance is, without You can there be an appearance? Can you have the experience of an appearance unless You are there?

Q: Sometimes this is very peaceful; sometimes very normal.

A:Then that does not matter, ultimately. How much traffic is there on the road doesn’t matter unless you have the idea that you have to cross it. Isn’t it? If you are not trying to become anything or trying to get anywhere, the road can be full of traffic or it can be completely quiet; you are just on one side. [Chuckles]

The way to invite trouble is if I was to say ‘You have to transcend all the noise and come to the peace.’ That is the way to trouble.

But you don’t have to transcend anything. That is transcending. [Laughter] To see that ‘I am on the right side of the road already’ …, is transcending the wrong side.

So, to transcend something, as it is shared in Satsang here, only means to see that You were never caught up anyway. To transcend the mind, You just see that there is nothing to You. It cannot hurt You; just a series of sensations (energy constructs) coming and going.

So ephemeral is this mind that, to You, it’s just another silhouette, like a shadow, that is just there for a blink of a second. Where is the mind now? Already gone. And yet it can come back …, and still, already gone. Already gone is more natural.

You will need at least one tiny moment in time to refer to a thought, compared to the neutrality which is already present Here and Now.

It is the neutrality which is timeless, and these notions about yourself which are in time.

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The Simplest Discovery You Can Make is the Most Valuable

The simplest discovery that you can ever make about yourself is also the most valuable.

Unlike the rules of this world that the fruits are usually in proportion to their effort needed (isn’t it? More effort, sweeter fruit, usually in this world) the great thing about this discovery is that it is most effortless; and it is sweeter than the most sweet.

What is the simplest discovery you can make about yourself; the most effortless recognition?

[Silence]

Much more than hidden in plain sight…, we have been seeking the Self.

I am saying these days ‘How may steps do you need to walk to sit exactly where you are sitting now? …, if that is nothing, effortless? To sit where I am sitting now is effortless. To be who You Are Now, is effortless. More than that, to recognize this: ‘I am nothing at all’. [Smiles]

Truth for truth sake means we take away all notions of what this should mean now. ‘I See it; so simple and so natural, I Am Here.’

So, then…? ‘What should happen now? Should I start sharing Satsang now? What is going to happen? Are all my relationships going to get better? Are my parents are going to like me more? Am I able to have more money in the account? Are people going to recognize this? What is happening here?’

So, suppose if none of this had to happen?

We have someone here who is a voice-over artist. So, I asked her ‘Which add?’ She said ‘I have done L’Oréal.’ And what is the tag line? ‘Because I am worth it’. [Chuckles]

So, why come to this Self-recognition? Because You are worth it. [Smiles] Not for any other reason; it is just because You are worth it, for YourSelf. [Smiles]

Nothing else is worth anything compared to This.

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Replace Your Thoughts with Your Discovery of Yourself

I know that sometime even to say ‘deeper’ can seem confusing. ‘Am I looking deep enough?’

[Smiles]

So, forget about ‘deep’ also. Just meet YourSelf.

[Silence]

And if the ‘But, but, but…’ is still strong, bring it to your Heart, bring it to your intuition and surrender it there. Or inquire into its validity.

[Silence]

You don’t have to replace one belief with another belief.

Replace all your beliefs with Your intuitive insights about YourSelf.

Replace all that you think about yourself with what You are discovering about YourSelf in this most auspicious meeting.

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This Holiness Deserves our Reverence

Can you show me how you could pose as something limited without mask of a notion; without a concept? To pose as something limited, you have to have an idea about yourself. But what Exists, is just All There Is, most naturally.

Is Your natural Existence something which is limited? Do You have boundary…, If you don’t even have the notion ‘body’ or ‘world’ or ‘mind’ because all of these are just notions as well. They’re just a set of sensations which appear, and we have taken a collection of them and said ‘This is body’. Taken another set of sensation: called it ‘world’ …, another set of energy constructs: called it ‘mind’. But all sensations, all perceptions, are just appearances and disappearing.

What contains You? Where is Your start and end?

Without the presumed ‘I’, without the presumed ‘me’, what do you want? [Silence] Freedom is not a state.

Seeing that your Being is completely free to enjoy whatever the state might be: is freedom. It is not hankering around for a particular set of experiences. ‘Oh, mind should completely stop; body should be free from pain; my partner should be free from conflict.’ [Smiles] These kinds of ideas.

How free does any of that sound? If it has to be in a certain way, it does not sound like freedom at all; it sounds like it’s stuck in a box. And the box is all these ideas we have about freedom.

To see that your Being is spacious enough to allow all things to come and go…, the recognition of neutrality, irrespective of the quality of appearances, is freedom.

Therefore, your bondage is just a mask; just an idea. You can never be bound.

Your Presence Itself is the Presence of God. So, to bind You would need something greater than God…, and there is no such thing.

What can appear in this world that can bind Your Presence, Your Existence, and make it limited? That’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘There is nothing greater than the Holiness of your Being.’

Q: What does holiness mean? In that context, what does holiness mean?

A:Just this. That which is worth our reverence because of Its very Existence. That which is so immaculate, so beyond anything which can be touched by any other appearance. The holiness deserves that reverence…, and in that way, it is holy. That which is the All-encompassing.

And as long as there is a sense that ‘I am an object in this world’ …, for all objects in the world it is the formless God, the Deity of the waking state, in the light of which all appearances come in to play.

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What is Here Unconditionally and Always?

What is here unconditionally? …, unconditionally in all ways, in the sense of ‘no matter what the condition might be’? And the condition applies to all appearances; the condition of the world, the condition of the body, the condition of our thoughts, the condition of our emotions, all these sensations.

What is here irrespective of these conditions?

Qualities and conditions are coming and going.

What remains; whatever the condition might be?

And if That is Your greater Reality, the limitless, condition-less One, if That is Your greater Reality, then at best the appearances of these conditions, the appearance of this world, is just an aspect of Your play.

[Silence]

What I am saying is that no condition can truly define the Reality of You. You are not this way or the other. And this is very freeing. There is great freedom in this. Because although it might sound like it is some sort of denial of the appearance, actually it is not. It is very freeing because all appearances then are allowed; coming and going. Once you See that, Your greater Reality remains untouched. And it is only the smaller notions that I could have about myself which seem to get affected by the conditions in the appearance. This applies to all conditions.

[Silence]

So, all these clues are given to you in Satsang…, clues like:

What is it that witnesses all that is changing and yet remains unchanging itself? What is it which is aware of all things?

Is That Itself a thing?

Is there a quality-less, attribute-less Self? What is aware of Your Existence?

All these are beautiful pointings, clues. Are you aware now?

[Silence]

These are beautiful clues to find That which remains without any condition; which is not touched by whatever the appearance might be. And it is in the recognition of this greater Reality about YourSelf that You become truly open to all appearances as well…, because it is when You find that You cannot be hurt and dented by any appearance that you can truly be open.

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Openness Gives More Space

If our acceptance or openness is just a strategy but it comes from a place of limited identity then you will find that it seems like a big struggle to accept, to remain open.

As long as you consider yourself to be this mortal body, then try as you might, you might say these greatest words about being open to death but the fear of this end called ‘death’ will not seem to leave you.

Once you see that you are beyond dying, beyond this birth and death, once you see for yourself Your own Reality then true openness can come. And as openness comes it gives you more space to come to the deeper recognition of what You Are. In this way, it is a very virtuous circle; which is contrary to the vicious circle of the mind.

Because if you buy the story from the mind about your identity, then the next story will seem more attractive. Then we seem to get into this vicious cycle of belief in our limitations. But one moment of recognition, one moment of taking the Master’s invitation to see just what Is, unconditionally, empty of all qualities and concepts, you escape this vicious circle of the mind. You come to Your effortless spaciousness.

And for a while it can seem that this game goes on between Your spacious Being and your mind. It can seem like there is a tussle. In fact, many stories have been written metaphorically about this tussle. Like the Mahabharata, the great Indian story of the Mahabharata, it is actually speaking of this tussle between limitation, attachment, desire, doer-ship verses Your un- limitedness, Your spaciousness, Your time-less-ness. And for a while, like Arjuna, all of us have cried ‘But will I be okay without these attachments, if I drop my desire, if I drop my feverishness. Please tell me that I will be fine.’ Actually, then the Lord comes and says that not only will you be fine you will meet Your own greater Reality.

This has always been the Truth about what You Are. You have never been the limited one. There is no such thing actually as the limited self. It is just an idea, a belief. And that is extremely good news. Why is it good news? Because no matter what beliefs you had, Right Now, in this moment, you are empty of them. All our belief system vanishes in the light of Your own Presence in this very moment. And the salesman of your limited identity has to come and sell it back to you moment after moment after moment…, our life has gone in this way.

What is Here and Now? What is independent of time and space? Where is the un-changing One? If there is an un-changing One, it must be here, no? If that also comes and goes that could not be the un-changing One. So, if there is God, if there is Self, if there is Truth, it is already Here. And actually, it is All that is Here.

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True Spirituality is Dropping All Conditions

There is never an obstruction.

There is never a condition to meet YourSelf.

Because You always are the Self.

[Silence]

Conditions are only for objects. If you want to meet another object in this world, there could be obstacles and conditions. If you want to feel a certain way, experience a certain taste, then there could be conditions, pre-conditions. If you want to think only a certain type of thoughts, then there could be conditions. If you want sensations of the body to be only a certain way, then there could be conditions.

So, in the realm of changing, in the realm of appearances, there could be many, many conditions. But to meet YourSelf, there is no condition. Why? Because You already are That, unconditionally. But as is the way of this world, even for this we have created so many conditions.

So, true spirituality is just dropping of all the conditions. This is what Guruji [Sri Mooji] meant when he says ‘nakedness.’ It is not a phenomenal nakedness. It is a conceptual nakedness. Empty of any concept, any condition.

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The Simplest Discovery is the Sweetest

What happens when you meet YourSelf without interpretations, without judgments, without concepts?

[Silence]

Remember that there is no condition that any appearance should be a certain way.

[Silence]

Unconditionally, You are the Self. [Chuckles] It happens sometimes; I say these words and I look at your reactions and I’m like ‘Are you hearing what I am saying?’[Chuckles] Unconditionally, You are the Self.’ [Smiles] At least to me, it sounds like a cause for big celebration.

Would it feel better if instead of saying ‘Unconditionally, You are the Self’ I was to tell you ten conditions which, if you were to satisfy those, then You would be the Self? Would that seem more tangible? [Chuckles] Concrete?

So, first you have to wake up every morning at 4:00 a.m. [Chuckles] at Brahmamuhuratam [Auspicious time of the early morning] and start with 108 surya namskars [Yoga sequence of sun salutations] …, that’s the second condition [Laughs] then one hour of Ram chanting [Chuckles] and at 6:00 a.m., you have to go meditate deeply on your inner light for one hour. [Chuckles]

[Reading response form chat]: ‘No conditions are fine.’ [Chuckles]

But you see what I’m saying? Sometimes it can feel like when I say ‘Do this and do this and do this and do this and then you will get the taste of the Self’ it can sound much more tangible and concrete than if I just say ‘See what You are Now. Meet YourSelf fresh in this moment. It doesn’t matter what has been happening in this body, it doesn’t matter what the future holds: You are the Self, unconditionally.’

It can play like this, that as long as there is a deep identification of yourself as an object; then it might feel like ‘I need some objective solutions.’ Or to put it simply, only if you consider yourself as this object will you feel that keeping this object in certain mudra [Yogic posture] can get something special for this object. But once you are done with that identification, You See that ‘I am not this object at all. I am the space in which all these objects come; and actually, even that space is just an aspect of My Being.’ Then, which position matters? Which object, size or shape matters?

This does not mean that there is an aversion to any of this. It’s all fine, in its own place, as this play of appearances happens. It’s all fine. But there comes a point where You See that the Truth must be simpler than any of this.

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That’s why I was saying yesterday ‘What is the simplest discovery you can make about YourSelf?’ And this is also opposite to how it works in the world. In the world, if you come with a lot of effort and do ‘heavy thinking’ and ‘heavy lifting’ then you might come to the sweet that you are looking for.

But in this quest for Self-recognition, the simplest discovery is the sweetest.

What is the simplest discovery that You have made about YourSelf? …, that discovery which needs no preparation, no precondition? …, that discovery for which the events in your life, the state of your body and mind, don’t matter?

What is this discovery which is independent of all appearances?

This Existence, this Being, which has played the game of taking Itself for granted, is now reveling in Its own magnificence.

And it is as simple as meeting YourSelf without any interpretation.

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The Truth, if It is True, Must Already Be Here

If something has to happen for it to become true, then it is not the Truth. (That’s all that I have said today.) If something has to happen for it to become true, then it is not the Truth.

[Silence]

And what is this pointing to? It is pointing to all the conditions that you might believe about yourself waiting for that ‘one something’ to happen to find the Truth. You can safely throw them away.

Because Truth, if it is true, must already be Here.

There is no precondition for the Truth. Nothing needs to happen for the Truth. The Truth is true; then it must be here. Therefore, even those who speak about the recognition of the truth only say that ‘I just saw what already was.’ They never say ‘I saw something new that came.’

[Silence]

And the joy of the discovery is more like this silly laughter. It’s like when you lose your specs but they have been on your head for all the time. Even funnier, you have been looking for your specs all your life and you just been wearing them. [Chuckles] And you say ‘Oh, it’s so silly.’ [Laughing] That’s why sometimes I say jokingly ‘Awakening is like a face palm moment.’ Like, ‘What?? That’s it? It has just always been this?’

Nothing is needed for the Self. And nothing is needed for the discovery or the recognition of the Self.

[Silence]

The first one you met this morning is the most enlightened Being in the world. [Chuckles] The first one you met this morning, before you even met this body (that which you call your own body) …, before that, you met a Being.

But you have judged this Being to be something limited, to be something personal. Empty of these judgments, there is only the most apparent Self-recognition.

[Silence]

The good thing is that no prior judgment actually matters now. Because the Being is completely full and fresh, and completely available to You in this moment. Your Atma is Here.

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The Truth is One

One of the first things we hear in Satsang, in any kind of Satsang, is that only Consciousness Is, or only God Is or only the Self Is. The Truth is One.

But in the beginning, this can seem a bit distant, can seem a bit abstract. And you wonder how do you relate to this? How do we find this out? We say ‘What is this Consciousness or God or Satguru, Self?’ Then we hear something like ‘It is what Is. What Is…, is the Self.’

And for a while even this can seem a bit unapproachable. When the Master says this, and you say, what is this ‘What Is?’ then the Master says ‘It is I Am’. And this is very direct, very approachable, because everybody says ‘I am’. Everyone says ‘I am’. So, this ‘I am’ is not alien to anybody. And it is ever present.

So, the only thing that has happened is that this pure Consciousness, ‘I Am’…, this What Is’ is covered in this layer of (seemingly-covered) with this layer of concepts. ‘I am individual, I am a man, I am good, I am honest, I have sinned, I want to become free.’ But just ‘What Is, this I Am, remains untouched by any of these concepts. That’s why I said before that anything we say after ‘I Am’ is a story. And if I want to be harsh I can say, ultimately it is a lie. Because this ‘I Am’ does not have any condition. It is not good nor bad. It is neither big nor small. It just Is. That’s why the Masters are reminding all of you to drop any concepts you might have about yourself because it only belongs to a notion of who you are, not to the Reality of what You Are.

And this we can check now.

Is this ‘I Am’ a man or a woman?

This Beingness, this Consciousness, Atma, is it one which has a gender?

Does it have a shape or size?

Does it have a beginning or an end?

What is true about This?

That’s why I call it your simplest discovery because to make any discovery, first You have to be. Can you make a discovery unless You are?

Now where is the trouble? We say ‘All this is fine. It’s okay. Let me deal with the real world in a real way.’ [Laughing] And we pick up the unreal in that way, you see. For most of you in Satsang (and many of you have been to many, many Satsangs now) you See that this is true about You: I just Am with no limitations, no boundaries, no qualities, no attributes. And yet something convinces you, the voice of the mind comes to convince you, that all of this is alright. In spirituality, it’s fine but you now you have to deal with the real world as if you are ‘something’.

But many of you have also found that even without the notion of ‘ something’ the play of life can continue. ‘I Am’ has no trouble dealing with this life. ‘I Am’ has no need to pick up a pretense, a mask, because all of this is the will of this very ‘I Am’.

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So, now Consciousness is playing this game of reminding Itself of Its Reality. I’m playing the game (the Ananta aspect of Consciousness is playing the game) of being the alarm clock and all of you are playing the game of needing this reminder.

So now, this game has happened. You have been reminded. Now, what is left? Alarm clock rang, are you going to put it in snooze or [Chuckles] ‘Yes Father, but let’s snooze till tomorrow.’ [Laughter] This alarm clock snoozes till the next Satsang.

That is why over the last few days also I’ve tried to look at this notion that ‘This is difficult’ or ‘I haven’t got it yet’ by telling you that it is the simplest discovery that you can make.

Before you can report ‘I am sitting’ …, I Am.

Before you can say ‘I am sad’ …, I Am.

No movement is needed and no movement gets in the way.

Many times when I say ‘No movement is needed’ you feel like ‘Oh, I should not move.’ What I’m saying is that no movement gets in the way. You just Are. Your boundary does not exist.

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All Are Appearances in the Light of ‘I Am’

It’s like the puppeteer has been playing with all these puppets and one of the puppets it really likes and seems very intimate to it; got really attached to this puppet and said ‘This is what I am’. Then in the game of this puppetry itself [Chuckles] it invented another puppet to come and remind it: ‘You are not this puppet. You are the puppeteer itself.’ So, Ananta is that puppet which you have designed to remind yourself of what you really Are.

How long will we let sensations that we call the body…, how long will be let the appearance of these sensations convince us that this is our boundary; that we are limited by this container? Your very experience is contrary to this. You see that these sensations are contained within You; just like all sensations are. You also experience many bodies, in that which you call dream; you have experienced YourSelf with no body and no phenomenon in that which you call sleep. Many times during one Satsang all this happens: sleep happens, dream happens, waking happens. [Laughter in the room] Day dream also happens. Turiya also happens for some (a deeply meditative state).

That’s why Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi said ‘Those who recognize what is there, what you are in sleep state; to recognize that in the waking state is called Awakening.’ But if it seems complicated, forget it. [Laughter].

Do I have to tell you the story of meeting the enlightened Being again? [Chuckles]

Right now, whose Existence can You truly testify to? Can you truly say ‘You are?’ You can only say ‘I Am’. What is the basis for saying ‘I Am’? Why do you say ‘I Am’?

Sangha: It is direct experience

A: Whose? [Smiles] Who is aware of this ‘I Am’?

Sangha: I am aware.

A:It is ‘I’ which is aware that ‘I Am’. It is the same ‘I’. Many times, it can sound like (when we are talking about Awareness and Consciousness) it can sound as if we are talking about two. But the ‘I’ is the same. It’s like a peacock: there’s one peacock; sometimes wings are open, feathers are open; sometimes feathers are closed. Beingness is present, Consciousness is present. Consciousness is dissolved. Peacock is still the peacock. This You Are.

And only This we can speak. Everything else that we speak about is just play of appearances happening in your Existence; in Your light ‘I Am’.

191

There is Just This Awareness

Q:Something exists but it I can’t really say it is ‘I’.

A: Does it feel like the Existence of another?

Q: No, it is just that there is no ‘I’

A:Yes, just that a sense of Being is present but you cannot refer to it as ‘I’. Is that what you mean?

Q: Yes.

A:This is very natural for it to happen, especially as you are deepening in your insight. It could become more natural for you to say ‘I am just aware, even of this Being’.

Q: [Inaudible]

A: And who is aware of this Awareness?

Q: It still doesn’t really feel true to say ‘I’.

A:Because? Suppose you had no reference point to what ‘I’ feels like. (This is a very beautiful point and we must take this very slowly.) Because we got used to associating ‘I’ as something; now, as we are coming to this Awareness, which is aware of even Existence, Its own aspect, it can feel a bit alien to call this ‘I’.

So, when I ask you ‘What is aware of this Awareness?’ you will say that ‘It is just this Awareness’. And if I were to ask you that ‘How does this Awareness report to you?’

Q: [Inaudible]

A:And although it is so clear that ‘I am aware of all of this’ it can feel a bit strange because that

‘I’ which I used to refer to myself as for so long doesn’t seem to be present. There is just this Awareness.

So, when we say ‘Awareness is aware of Its Existence’ and this play of Existence is happening (which includes the movement of this body, the movement of this mouth; all of this movement is happening within Existence) there is just an Awareness which is aware of all of this. Isn’t it?

That leaves no room for an ‘I’. And yet, it is Your direct insight. So, if I was to say ‘Atma [another Being in Satsang] is having this discovery and she is telling you ‘same here’ …, but because we have identified ourselves something limited for so long, it can just feel like ‘Wow…, there is no ‘I’ in this’. But what we are saying, even in that, is that ‘Wow. I See that there is no ‘I’ in this’. It is Your own direct insight. But this ‘I’ is very different from what we have used the term for in the past.

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Q:Yes, because maybe there is still a sense of ‘me’ playing in the day-to-day. I know that it is not that ‘I’. But there is some experience.

A:Yes, exactly. And for a while, it will seem to oscillate. Then you will find that it is more unnatural actually to refer to that ‘me’ (that we call it) and to refer to that as ‘me’ or ‘I’…, that will start feeling more unnatural and we’ll say ‘No, I am just This’. And then you will hear or you will read the scriptures, you will hear the words in Satsang and then say, ‘Everything is pointing to that ‘I’ which is this Awareness, the Self, and Its dynamic aspect, which is Consciousness’.

Q: I find that it just feels that very unnatural to call it ‘I’. [Inaudible]

A:Yes. It’s fine; you don’t need to call it that, it’s true. But many times, what does happen (I have seen in Satsang) is that when we come to this insight, to this discovery of Awareness that is just effortlessly Here, then after a few days what happens is that ‘Ah, when I come to Father he is going to tell me ‘Who are you?’ and I will say that I am just going to tell him ‘Nothing is happening to Awareness…., that is just fine, but can we talk about ‘me’ for a minute?’ So, when this dichotomy is perpetuated then it can seem like ‘Ah, the ‘me’ is having a beautiful insight about this Awareness; but how does it help me?’

Q: Yes.

A:I have seen this many times over the years. That’s why I made this metaphor of carrying this ‘me’ on your back as you cross the portal of ‘I Am’ to this Awareness. It can feel like ‘I am having these beautiful insights. Now, what happens to me because of this?’ And you see that this that we are used to calling ‘me’ …, is that more tangible as your reality? Or this Awareness?

Q:To be honest, I did not mean to go into it; but it just came. There has been a real laziness here actually of looking [inquiring] in Satsang; not really listening very well, not engaging. So, it’s like the ‘me’ is actually quite strong. But actually, there is a nice relaxing and I am enjoying it in Satsang.

A:And we don’t know actually what is really needed. We don’t actually ever know what is really needed. So, I don’t often say ‘You must listen very carefully to everything I am saying’ (or these kinds of things) because what is needed is just Here already. So, it doesn’t matter what has happened in the last ten Satsangs; if you are getting what you have been listening to.

What is true is available Now.

That is what you were checking and Seeing, that ‘Yes. There is just an Awareness here that is aware of Existence. Now, I don’t know whether I can call it I’. This already is a very beautiful place.

Q: But to answer your question, you said ‘Which feels more tangible?’ [Inaudible]

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A:And now, if we were not to have any idea of what happened in the past, what seems most intimate?

Q: [Inaudible]

A:So, this is the best news; that we don’t need any preparation. It doesn’t matter how well you have been listening or not listening. Just in this moment, if you are open, you can See:

‘Awareness is Here. It is aware of my daily Existence. Now, I don’t know where to put the I’. That is fine. Now, the Sages will tell you ‘Put it there; That which is the most unchanging.’

Q: But it feels a bit contriving and it doesn’t happen naturally. It feels a bit like I’m forcing it.

A:You don’t have to force it. It is just a clue to see ‘How can I find my truest Self?’ The Sages say ‘Find That which is the most unchanging’. Just as a clue. It is just ‘I’.

This itself is a beautiful inquiry to ask: ‘Is this ‘I’?

Q: I don’t know…

A:‘I don’t know’ I have already said is most beautiful. It is like a hypothesis, but it is unverified. Till it is verified, we don’t know the conclusion.

Q: [Inaudible]

A:So, just one more line of inquiry which is: ‘When we see that this Awareness is just Here and It is aware even of Existence…, what is your position in this?

Q: I don’t know… [Inaudible]

A:And ‘you are just not there’. This is good enough for now. [Reads chat question]: ‘What did she say?’

A:She said ‘For now, it just feels like there is Awareness, which is aware of Presence and Existence, and I don’t know where to put a ‘me’ or ‘I’ …, there doesn’t seem to be any.’ And I said that that is very good for now.

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You Are This Self Effortlessly

What’s that story? Guruji [Sri Mooji] was saying one time, he was saying to someone ‘You are Atman not Batman.’ Atma: one of the spellings is Atman. [Smiles] Do you know this? There is one YouTube video also called ‘Atman not Batman’. [Chuckles] There is one in our sangha, Guruji’s sangha, she made a list of the people in the security team. One of them was called ‘Atman.’ So, she wrote ‘Hat-man.’ [Laughter]

There was a point in this. [Smiles] The point was that: Your Atman is effortlessly present. You are It. But any mask that you put on, then you will pose as something. You will pose as Batman.

And this mask is the mask of concept of notion. The mask of individuality is played only within an idea about ourself. All emotions can come, all worldly appearances can come, but nothing makes a person out of You. Nothing makes a limited one out of You. Only when Consciousness itself gives Its assent to the idea of limitation and it gives Its belief.

Otherwise this river of appearance is just flowing on its own. There is no individual me to be found here.

And why do some appearances come? They come because that is the will of Consciousness. So, ‘why’ anything? Consciousness. This is acceptance.

Most naturally You Are this Beingness, You Are this Self effortlessly. The mind is just seller of masks. ‘Oh, you will become a very special one; this one.’ [Smiles] Even the notion of freedom can be used by the mind to make us so caught up in our individuality; and this is called the ‘spiritual ego.’

What is the spiritual ego? ‘Look at me, look at me. I am so special. Look at how I have discovered that we are all One.’ [Smiles] You got the joke in that? [Laughter] ‘Look at how special I am because I have discovered that we are one.’

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Just Your Noticing is Enough to Dissolve Spiritual Ego

Q:[Broken English] Father, but it can still play like that now, the mind probably will come up like that once. ‘You are still on the way.’ Still knowing the true position and you just allow it because you See it.

A:Allowing it to appear and disappear is different from giving it your assent and putting on the mask of ‘the special one’. And both are allowed, actually, ultimately. Satsang is just a reminder for you not to put on the mask. But even the putting on the mask or not is the play of Consciousness. Why does it happen? Consciousness. [Chuckles] Why, even upon hearing all of this hundreds of times in Satsang, do we still do it? Consciousness. It’s just that one aspect has the role of the alarm clock, saying ‘Don’t do that, don’t do that’ knowing fully well that ‘If it wants to, it will do that’. [Chuckles] You know what I am saying?

Q: Yeah. But some…,

A:It’s just in the qualitative play it seems to play differently; that’s all that happens. Whether you put on the mask or not, to Consciousness, nothing has ever really happened. Just in the play, it can seem like we play unburdened without the mask; and we play burdened with the mask. And yet, as long as Consciousness wants to play with the mask, it will.

Q:Just reminds me; in the retreat when I asked this question, like sometimes things (like maybe, for example, ego, whatever) still the mind would sell me that; like ‘Hey. Wow! Good job!’

Things like that might be unavoidable; it pops up, and I somehow feel the pull to go in it. And then what’s happening is that sometimes there is some kind of stopping and like ‘Hey, but where is your true position?’ It’s still kind of Seen. Still, there might be a pull but it is kind of Seen. I am kind of okay with that.

A:That’s why we were trying to come up with the right language for this yesterday. Just these words are meant for what? Just your noticing of it is enough. There is no other dropping of it. It is just Seen…, ‘Ah, this is here.’

The funny thing is that the mind can play with the opposite position also. ‘Just make sure you don’t buy into spiritual ego, okay?’ Even that can become a position. That’s why I say ‘You got it? Come to Satsang. If you haven’t got it, come to satsang.’ All positions are being abandoned here in someway.

Q:Now-a-day, it just feels like there is just one thought the mind is trying to sell but …, that’s also Seen and I don’t want to pose as anything; but just now mind might try to sell things like ‘Oh, but you are becoming really lazy, you are not really trying.’ And sometimes, I’m here in Satsang and my mind is I-don’t-know-where. I am not actually punishing myself. It’s like ‘Okay, here again. Here my attention went. Okay whatever.’ I’m like ‘Wow…, I have never been that relaxed.’ And I really enjoy it. [Laughs]

A: Yes.

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Q:So, I don’t think it’s just my mind-story but I just want to double check, I think.

A:It’s very good. And because you are also around me, so it will be like this, because I’m so lazy. [Laughter]

Q:It’s you! [Laughter] Beautiful relaxation. Never experienced that before, since the retreat.

Even I was sitting in Ramana Ashram, my mind went and it was like ‘Okay…, that’s it.’ I don’t kno.,

A: It is just what it was.

Q:I just don’t want to develop anything about ‘Oh, now you got it; you can even let that go and you can be happy with your laziness’ or ‘It’s even better.’ [Laughs] I just don’t want to operate like that; just don’t want to go there. Just Exposing.

A: Just the noticing of it is enough.

A sense of …,you don’t even have to call it) laziness…, just a sense of …, (this expression is lazy. We are not talking so much about that.) [Laughter] …, in terms that just there can be a general sense of ease about things. Not so much this pressure of ‘Oh, I have to be like this, I have to be only in this state; my attention should only be here and it went here and it did this.’

Just let it go. It plays with all of that…, and now it is gone.

So, I feel like one of the best gifts I can give any of you is to keep reminding you that:

Whatever might have been; You are That, Now, effortlessly.

God is Here. [Smiles]

And there is nothing greater than That.

And You are That.

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This Just Is. You Just Are.

It occurred to me a little while ago that life is usually lived in one of two ways. Life is lived in one of two ways. One is ‘God Now’. You say ‘God is Here’. God Now. And the second is ‘me- ow’. [Laughter in the room] That is basically all we are saying in Satsang. God itself is playing in one of these two ways. ‘God Now’ or ‘me-ow’. [Laughs]

Some of you who practice Yoga will know; there is pose called Tree Pose. So, the ‘me-ow’ is like me trying to do the Tree Pose. For a while, it feels like ‘I can do this. I can balance this body leg like that’. But it doesn’t work. In the same way it can feel like (for a while) ‘Oh, the ‘me’ can actually work. If I try this, if I just be like this, if I just get this much wealth, if I just get this relationship, if I get these material objects or I get some kind of understanding about something, then ‘I’ could actually make this work’. The ‘ow’ seems to get postponed a bit, sometimes. But this is inevitable about the ‘me’ that the ‘ow’ is coming. [Smiles]

And if some of you are new to Satsang and wondering ‘What is he going on about?’ …, the ‘me- ow’ is something which comes from the example of the cat-identity. You pick up the concept of ‘me’ and the suffering which is the ‘ow’ is bound to follow.

Now, the logical question which you can then all ask is ‘Okay, well then what do I have to do to not be in this ‘me-ow’ state? How do I come to this ‘God-Now’?’ And for this, I have the best news…, that there is nothing You have to do. [Smiles] It is naturally what is already present Here-Now. That is why it is ‘God-Now’.

It is never ‘me-Now’. The ‘me’ is made up of a set of ideas picked up from the past and projections about the future. And what can happen is that the mind will take this which is Presence Now, which is present Now, and say that that is a ‘me’. But this is not true.

Your Presence, Your Atma, Your Being is the Presence of God Itself. So, when God is Now, the ‘me’ is a pretense, just an idea. And you Know ultimately that it is a lie because you taste the suffering of this lie. [Silence]

So, there is nothing really that needs to be done. But you don’t have to ‘do’ this nothing also. Many times, when we say ‘Nothing needs to be done’ then we actively ‘do nothing’. But that is not what I am saying. [Chuckles] I am saying nothing needs to be done; and yet all doing can appear and disappear. There is an openness and allowing of all things to happen.

But for God to Exist, what pre-condition could there be? Then we have the idea that ‘Only after I do a certain thing, God will be’ …, that means that God’s Existence is also pre-conditioned on some state. And this God is not worth it. The only God that is worth it is the one that just Is, irrespective of what the appearance might be. So, the [Hand Gestures Outward] ‘me-ow’, ‘me- ow’ is also happening on the substratum of ‘God-Now’. [Chuckles] God does not go away even when God is playing with the notion of a ‘me’.

I was saying the other day that this notion of ‘God-Now’ this idea that ‘Consciousness is All There Is’ can seem a little bit distant initially. It can feel like ‘But I have no experience of this’.

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Then this question can come ‘But what is this God you speak of?’ Then I could say ‘Just What IS’. Starting from Your very Presence, which means to make it even more direct. Just this existence ‘I Am’. This is called ‘Being’ or ‘Consciousness’ or ‘Atma’. This just IS. You just Are. [Silence]

All the rest is just notional, just ideas; starting from the idea of separation that there is a ‘me’ here that is separate from everything else. It’s just an idea. You’ve taken some appearances, some things which are seen, and made a mental boundary and said ‘This is a ‘me’. ‘I’ am contained in this body and ‘He’ is contained in that body’. These are just ideas. Actually, you’ll find no such tangible separation. You’ll find just one appearance. And You are aware of it.

All of this is one Consciousness. And nothing can ever separate Consciousness. So, just like there is one ocean but it can appear as if there are separate waves…, in the same way there is one Being, one Consciousness, one God, although it might appear as if there are separate Beings.

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The Truth is Much Simpler Than That

Now, one of the most (I won’t say fun almost, but fun also sometimes) seemingly-very-painful parts of this play is the ‘me’ trying to become God or trying to find God. And this is what the Sages have referred to as ‘The fish swimming in the water thirsting for water.’ But it is actually one step further than that; it is like water thirsting for water itself.

The truth is not simpler than this. As long as you have an idea that you have to meet something, that you have to meet God: Meet YourSelf …, You will find only God. Meet YourSelf without any interpretation or judgment. This is most naturally present. You not actually are doing anything at all. The concept of meeting itself will dissolve. It is just Your Self. So, we can say ‘recognize YourSelf, meet YourSelf, find YourSelf’ but all these terms ‘recognize, find, meet’ will actually dissolve, because You will See that there is only the Self. You are seeing that.

To pick up the ‘me’ you need at least a moment in time to refer to some thought as yourself. But even without that moment in time, You just Are. Therefore, it is this ‘me’ which is effortful which is dependent on time. It is not You.

If there is a God, God is Here. If there is a Self, Self is Here, as Your very own Presence, as Your own Reality. You don’t have to take one step here and there. What you are finding about YourSelf is beyond all inferences you can make; even beyond the idea of whether you got it or not. The ‘me’ is used owning things so, now it wants to own God. ‘Did I really find it? Please confirm to me.’ [Chuckles] It is not like that. It is the very Existence, which means what You are made up of.

Where does a drop of water which is in the Ocean have to go to find the Ocean? And the funny thing is that there is no drop of water actually; it is all just the Ocean.

Now, in the design of this leela, this play, it will feel like when you identify yourself just as a wave (this is what we are calling the ‘me’…, ‘I am just this wave’) then it can feel like a lot of turbulence. Sometimes very high, sometimes very low; all that we call the ups and downs of life. But that is only when you identify YourSelf as a limited object. It is only the airplane which is facing the turbulence. The space is not saying ‘Oh, this is too turbulent for me.’ Only when we identify OurSelf as a limited object can it feel like ‘Something is happening to me. That is why Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi invited all of us to ask this question ‘Who am I?’ because he knew that when we truly inquire and truly we look, we don’t find this ‘me’. We only find the Self (whether we call it Self or God or Satguru; it’s all the same).

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Suffering Has the Idea of ‘Me’ at the Center

A:That’s why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] himself said ‘If there is a choice, then make the choice not to go with your thought stream. Then you will see that even this choice was just a play of Grace itself.’ To refer to YourSelf as ‘me’ you need a thought. To just Be, to remain as Consciousness Itself, no conditions are needed. Therefore, what’s more natural? [Looking at sangha] What’s more natural?

Q: It’s natural but seems a bit forced. [Laughter in the room]

A:One of the greatest things about having a living Master is a representation of how natural it is to just Be. Otherwise, these can just seem like big ideas, they can just seem like fancy ideas. We got so used to identifying as names and forms that it can seem like we needed something in the realm of names and form itself to come and show us this immense possibility. So, one that appears in name and form is pointing to your own Presence, your own Satguru which is in your own Heart as the true Satguru. So, although we can have reverence for the form of the Master, what is more important is that you are following what He is pointing to; which is your Eternal, undying Being.

So now? ‘Me -Ow’ or ‘God Now’? [Chuckling] Can it be ‘God-Ow’? Can it be ‘Me-Now-? [Chuckling] It truly can’t. You have to give yourself that little bit, that one moment in time to think ‘No, but this actually happened with me.’ You know, ‘That’s easy for you to say. Nothing happens to you!’ [Laughter in the room] You see this is the fallacy, that the Master is just having some robotic life; nothing is happening.

There’s another point. Another important thing about having a living Master is that he can tell you ‘I’ve been there, done that, got the T-shirt.’[Smiling]

So, even the ‘me’ wanting to become ‘God Now’ is just an invitation to ‘Ow’. No plan, no strategy, no approach, no position, no reference point can get you to This; just like no number of steps are needed for you to be exactly where you are Now.

What is also important is when I’m referring to the ‘Ow’, the ouch, I’m not talking about pain. I’m talking about that which is called suffering. So, you must not feel that if there is an appearance of some pain then there must be a ‘me’. God is playing with this realm, in this universe, in all flavors and tastes. Pain and pleasure are both part of the sugar and spice of this realm. But when you take a position with regards to this, when you invent this idea of a limited ‘me’, the limited sufferer or the doer or the desirer, then the play of life can seem a lot more burdensome. And that is what is called suffering. It is filled with grievances, resentments, specialness, arrogance, guilt. All these are just various words for suffering. Because all of them have a ‘me’ at the center of it. And this ‘me’ is just an idea, a notion.

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Who is This ‘I’ Representing?

Who does the ‘I’ represent? We’ve been doing this little exercise to say ‘I’. Say ‘I’. [Glances at Sangha] [Sangha says ‘I’] In this ‘I’…, what are you representing? Because it is the term we often use; very, very often. It seems to be central in our existence, this ‘I. And if you check and you find that only a certain set of sensations which are being perceived…, those are ‘I’. And I can tell you that there is no actual reason why that should be so. All these reasons are just notional; just conceptual. So, in a way, we can say jokingly that you are being unfair to yourself if only some perceptions you claim as I and everything else you claim as other. There is no real reason for this distinction.

Then you come to this point where you say ‘Ah, all that is appearing is I. There is no reason to draw a line between I and another. All that is appearing is I.’ But then, I would say, it’s still being a bit unfair [Chuckles] because you are not including That which perceives all these appearances; and that there is no reason for even this distinction.

So, we’ve gone from identifying with only a certain set of sensations, to Seeing that all of these sensations are just perceptions within My own Being. There is no distinction to be found here to then make it seem that ‘I am that which also perceives all these appearances; and yet in Itself (although it is Known) it does not have a qualitative appearance.’ Now you have included all that appears and disappears, and that which perceives this appearing and disappearing; and you see that both of them are included in Your very Existence.

Now, you have included both ‘the birds’ as I: not just the birds actually, but also everything in which the first bird seems to be running about in; that entire space and time has also been included in You…, that which perceives first bird. And now that you See this effortlessly, you find that You are Aware of even this perception. This third bird, the unchanging, unmoving Awareness, is called the Absolute. Why Absolute? Because it is absolutely unchanging, absolutely untouched and absolutely without any labels (un-label-able).

This is what satsang is. I know that everyday I come and say different things for ‘This is what satsang is’ but this is what satsang is…, to move away from just this limiting notion that ‘I’ is something so small tiny, just a certain set of sensations. To include all sensations, all perceptions, all appearances, to include That which perceives and is the screen and the light of all these appearances. And then ultimately, to find that perception or no perception, That which is Aware of perception or no perception remains My unchanging Self. And although there is only one Self which includes all things, there are aspects of my Self which are changing and there is a greater aspect of my Self which is unchanging.

You don’t have to get to this, you don’t have to become this. This is what You already Are. All divisions, all distinctions, all limitation, all separation is just from concepts.

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This Existence is Being Explored Here

You are the light of this world.

All exists in the Existence of Your light.

Can you testify to the existence of even the sun, which seems like the biggest light you can come across? Can you testify to its existence unless You exist?

So, This Existence is being explored here. This is Your Being, Your God Presence. And your Presence is just Here Now.

This Now is not a moment in time; it is that Now in which moments come and go. But You remain Unchanged. It is That for which no time exists. And this is true about You Now.

Even now, if you were to check for even a minute, you would discover that all time exists only for objects in my perception. That which is perceiving them is not subject to any time. It is Timeless. And it is Here.

And all that is subject to time takes some space. But You are That in which this time and space appear and disappear.

And this is not some fancy esoteric description. This is just Your simple natural Reality.

Now, someone was saying yesterday that it will seem like a big magic trick, some weird strange thing, that That which is beyond space and time considers Itself to be such a small object, just a set of sensations, perceptions. ‘How is it possible? Why, why does it happen?’ [Chuckling] Consciousness. This is the play of Consciousness tasting Itself as a limited object and then enjoying the taste of Its discovery of unlimitedness.

Sometimes what happens as we are tasting this, our Unlimited Being…, you can say ‘This is too much, too much for me.’ [Chuckling] Yes, and that is true; it is too much for the ‘me’. But for You, it is what You Are.

And all of you, as you are having this insight about what You truly Are, will also start to notice that any time there is a notion of suffering (whether it is a grievance, pride, whether it is guilt, whether it is resentment) you start to notice that Consciousness now must be believing a lie about Itself. That is why it is going ‘me, me, me’ …, therefore going ‘ow, ow, ow’. (Consciousness posing as a cat.) You cannot suffer without giving assent to a limited notion about YourSelf, including the notion ‘I should not be suffering’.

That is why one of my favorite terms these days is: Notionless Existence.

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True Discovery is Merely the Dropping of the False

You don’t need a concept to exist. But you do need a concept to pick up the pretense of the limited one. You do need a concept to suffer.

The non-existent me is the super-concept that all other concepts are selling you. But Your Being, God, is just here naturally and effortlessly.

And in Satsang, we move away from concern for this limited non-existent entity, to just starting to really enjoy Our very Presence, with all of its varied taste. Some can seem sweet and some can seem bitter. Pain can still come. But pain, when tasted without the additional burden of the conceptual me, is also beautiful taste.

This question is exactly what we are speaking on. What ever taste is coming, what ever sensation might be experienced, without the filter of this me, without the notion of this me, we find that all these sensations and experiences can’t overwhelm the space that You are. Your spaciousness is beyond anything that can appear in this space of appearances. And you will find this upon your own investigation.

Guruji [Sri Mooji] has this very beautiful example of this, about how it is interpretation which makes it seems so different. He says there is a sense, when you have to speak on stage or something like that; if you are not used to it, you can have a sense of stage fright and you might say some energetic appearances are appearing. And you might call that ‘Oh, I am so nervous, this is so bad, I am just going to mess up, it’s not good’ energetically. And you find another set of experiences, which are not so different energetically, quite similar energetically, that which you call excitement. Suppose you are to go on a big holiday that you are very excited about. A similar energy can come. But then you might say ‘Oh, I am so excited, I am so happy, yes, this is so good, see, I’m already starting to feel so happy and excited.’ Energetically, if you were to look at both the sensations, they are not so different. In fact, the entire energetic spectrum for the real You is really nothing much. It is just some little bit of sugar and spice here and there. But for the notional you, it is too much.

So, in this, as Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said as you are finding what You are, all this concern about which sensations, which emotions, which perceptions, what is coming, what is not coming; all this becomes very light and easy. Of course, my preferences can still be there. Nobody wants to say Oh, I really want something bad to happen to my family, something should happen to this body.’ You are not really inviting these experiences. But the feverishness about these things becomes much milder. Even after we know that this is just a movie, usually we like to see happy endings in movies, isn’t it? So, there can be preference that this life goes with the ease and with spontaneity, and everything is well for all Beings; these preferences, these blessings, can be there. But there is a greater trust, that whatever is the will of Consciousness, whatever there is the will of God ‘Let Thy will be done.’

And mostly, it is a dissolution of this oppressive ‘why’. There is an oppressive ‘why’ like just ‘Why me?’ And there is a wonder ‘why’ just like ‘Why?’ The same term; mostly it is used in a

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very oppressive way. ‘Why, why? Why does it happen to me?’ And there is a wonder ‘why’ which is ‘Why is God playing this game?’ [Smiles]

So, as you resolve the ‘me’, as your ‘I’ drops away from representing the false, even if it has not come to the point of representing the Absolute, even the dropping away from the representing the false is actually enough.

There was a great Sage in India his name was Bulleh Shah. Bulleh Shah has said (one time he wrote this entire set of verses on) ‘I don’t know who I am, I just don’t know who I am.’ So, this ‘I don’t know’ is not to be looked down up on. ‘I don’t know’ is already the best news. That means the false ideas about YourSelf you have dropped.

That is why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘True knowledge is merely the dropping of that which is false.’ The discovery of the Self is really the dropping of the notional me.

So, as we stop making this reference from just a set of sensations and calling it ‘me’, we stop making this reference seriously. Conversationally, of course, we can still operate in this world in the most natural way. But we are not taking this ‘me’ seriously now. With the dropping of this which is false, the truth is already apparent to You. You might not yet have the words for it. You might not seem to have an answer for it. It might seem like an ‘I don’t know.’ And that is fine.

[Long minutes of silence]

Is there anything more pristine? Is there anything more immaculate than dipping your attention in the Ganga [River Ganges] of Your own Presence …, and coming to the dissolution of attention itself, as You remain That which is just aware of even this Presence?

All worldly tastes, they are coming and going,

In the immaculate taste of Your own Presence,

It is just Here.

To tie yourself to world appearances which will come and go is suffering, is hell actually. And to remain immersed in Your holy Presence is peace, is heaven.

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This Notion Makes a Seeker Out of Us

Q:Namaste Father. Actually, I am not quite sure why I came up, but just felt to just come up. There is no burning question as such, but just felt to come up. [Silence]

A:If there is one stubborn thought that you believe about yourself, that you would like to expose in the fire of Satsang, what would that be?

Q:I think the one stubborn thought, Father, would be the feeling that there is something to get…, or there is something to do.

A:This is very good; to spot this is very good. Because this is very, very deeply ingrained in the nature of the spiritual seeker. We start off with the notion that ‘I have to seek something and I will find it; and when I find it, then I will be free.’ But all that you are discovering in Satsang is what you have always been; what has always been Here as Your very Existence. But because the conditioning has been so strongly ingrained that ‘I have to get something’ it can feel like ‘I have to get my Existence also.’ [Chuckles] ‘Am I really getting this?’ But You Are It. Your Being is effortlessly present. Everything else comes and goes; needs effort, needs time. But You are beyond these things. And the minute we buy this notion that ‘There must be something to get, something that I have to do’ then this notion makes the seeker out of us. But the seeker also is just another name for the person, for the limited idea of the individual existence.

I am glad you highlighted this one because this is very, very prevalent. ‘Have I got it? Am I getting it? When will I get there?’ And the notion of ‘getting’ means I have to ‘become’ that. ‘I will realize the Self only when I get something’ or ‘I will become the True Self’. And in this, our starting point again becomes personal. Our perspective becomes that ‘I am an individual entity, and I have to get it, and then I will be free.’ But what I am saying is: Look at truly what Your starting point already is. Once you See that in the beginning itself, You Are All-There-Is, then what to do with the idea of getting something?

These are the gifts of our notionless Existence. As we don’t create a notional, conceptual boundary about ourselves, as we include all sensations and perceptions in our own Being, we See that ‘I witness all of this. There is only One without another and This is MySelf.’ And this is Your starting point already. This is the best news. So now, like you said ‘This is just a stubborn habit to go to this seeking, to go this idea of becoming or getting.’

The ocean started to believe itself to be a drop, then the ocean came to its own Self-recognition. So, it is only the false that dropped away; the drop that dropped away. The ocean was just what it always was. I am sure it’s a pretty common thought for many of us; and today we can use this opportunity. As one is exposing it, let’s all of us expose it in the fire of Satsang and surrender it here. In the light of your own true Seeing, or in the trust that you feel for the Master.

Not one step you need to move; not one inch has to change. More natural than being where you are…, is just Being. More natural than sitting on a chair, more natural than any position that you can take, is the completely enlightened Being. And That is You. As Being, You are ever-free, and the pretend person never existed anyway.

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True Surrender and True Devotion

[Having read a chat message, Ananta says]: The short version of what she is saying is that ‘There still comes some anger towards you. The mind says ‘You, Father, are not helping me get rid of the ‘me’. How much am I going to go through? So much I have trusted you, had faith. Why do I still have to go through so much?’ And ‘Why is Father not giving moksha to this mind?’ And then she says ‘By saying ‘Father’ this includes all the big guns like Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharishi] and Yogi Ramsuratkumar.’

This trust…, and exactly this is one of the few rare highlights of Satsang which I posted on my own timeline, which is the interaction with you only, where we talked about the meaning of true surrender and true devotion. Our idea of trust is ‘I trust you make things happen my way’. And that does not mean trust at all.

Trust means ‘Whichever way Bhagwan [God] is keeping me, that is the way I’m meant to be’. Our mind hates this idea because without this idea of ‘Where I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to be, how my life is supposed to be’ there is no utility for the mind, no use for it. So, it will resist this idea with all its might. Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘The fear is if I hand over my existence to God or Satguru, then what if he makes a mess out if it?’ Does that sound like trust? That’s not trust.

The mind’s job is to make distinctions. It makes distinctions between one body and another body, it calls one body ‘me’, it calls one body ‘other’. But where is this ‘me’? In this very moment, the one that has not dissolved…, can you find that one ?

This ‘me’ that all that of us are fighting and trying to get rid of does not exist; naturally in this minute. You have to bring the past into it. You have to project the future.

[Reads from chat] Q: ‘Actually, I see this, too. This ‘me’ is not here.’

Then? [Chuckling] Got rid of the ‘me’? Or no? You said ‘Help me get rid of the me.’ So, you See that this ‘me’ is not here. Done! [Chuckles]

How to get rid of that which does not exist? Only by withdrawing our belief in it. You see?

[Reads from chat] Q: ‘I see the space. In fact, it’s about getting carried away with these sensations which arise.’

There is never any trouble with the sensations in themselves. It is just the interpretation of these sensations. You see, ‘me’ is not a feeling. It is that these feelings are interpreted as separation. All feelings arise in the great inclusive space, the great inclusion that is You. But we look at some feelings and say that ‘This makes the ‘me’ possible. This is me.’ This is the big trick. It’s just an idea.

If you had no notion of separation, if you had no idea of ‘me’ and ‘other’, then who is doing what to whom?

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All our grievances, all our resentments, they fall away. The trouble that happens sometimes for all of us is that we see this clearly but quickly, as we are Seeing, the mind will come and say ‘But what about when Satsang ends? Then you still have your family to deal with and all this.’ But none of what I’m saying now will actually change. Otherwise, I would be speaking nonsense. If it was just temporary, then it would be just another set of concepts. But what You are finding is the unchanging truth about what You Are. This does not change.

[Reads from chat] Q: ‘What is happening here is that one moment I’m here in this ‘me’, and then I move to this space-like Being.’

What perceives both of this? Whatever the seeming-movement might be, what happens to That which perceives this? That is what I’m pointing you to.

It’s not that this spaciousness is a movement; that suddenly I look and it becomes spacious. No. This spaciousness is always there. It is just that we don’t recognize it usually. But when we come to Satsang and we are pointed to It, it is seen that all sensations, all movements, are within this One Being, One Existence. But we have used ideas and concepts to create a ‘me’ there, where none exists. And then this ‘me’ like the thief pretending to be the policeman saying ‘Rid me of me!’

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Ego is Nothing but Resistance to What Is

A:I just want to remind you that this is the nature of the mind. We met in the retreat, we had a beautiful meeting, and you said to me that ‘Father, the only thing I want to do for the rest of my life is say Thank You to you.’ Not so long ago. ‘For the rest of my life, the only thing I want to do is say Thank you to you.’

Q: Just a month ago, exactly a month ago.

A:Within a month, it has gone from that to saying ‘I don’t know what you are doing. You are not helping me at all. There’s no end to suffering.’ This Is the nature of the mind; this is the nature of ‘me’. It is completely unreliable and yet we rely on it to make a position for ourselves.

That’s why here it is clear that when seemingly beautiful moments are coming and beautiful praise is coming, I know ‘This too shall pass’. [Laughter in the room] And I know when anger is coming, tantrums are coming, all these are coming I also know that ‘This too shall pass.

The thing that is happening is that as long as you carry this ‘me’ around and you keep checking on what’s happening to this ‘me’…, now here, it was like this but who was in Australia and who is here now? When you check, you find that ‘I have not moved. All these appearances are changing in my own light’. This is clear to you, I know this. And yet, when the story comes ‘Oh, when I was in Australia I was not suffering.’ And yet, there were many interactions we had from Australia also where you were suffering. So, don’t go with these unreliable reports from the mind. It is just selling you a story which has no reality.

What is it that You truly Are? The only end to this suffering which you are experiencing is to let go of this story of ‘me’, to let go of this idea of ‘me’. What happens for you is that the way that the world is meeting you right now, in the form of your family, in the form of your relationships, it can feel like ‘This is too aggressive, this is too unfair, this is just so just unjust’. So, these buttons are being pressed and then you are looking to spirituality for some sort of relief from that suffering which is coming from these close attachments.

That is why my advice is to you is that these situations will keep changing; the people involved in the situations will keep changing. Although now it might feel like ‘Okay, it is only these people who can cause me suffering’ but it is not that. It is the design of this play, in which events and people will keep changing. And as long as we are holding on to this idea that ‘my life, me’ should be a certain way; including the idea of ‘Where is the relief? At least the relief should be there’. You say ‘I have no expectations, I don’t want anything from you, but at least relief should be there.’ That is immediately an idea, that is immediately an expectation. And this expectation is giving you the pain. The emotional, the psychological pain that is there, it is only because you have an idea that ‘My master, my parent, my family should not be this way’. But the world is what the world is. As long as we keep having this argument about what is appearing, it can feel like there is no peace. This argument is other name for the ego.

Ego is nothing but a resistance to what is.

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Unworthiness is Simply Not Applicable

Q:With all these things happening, I can see that I’m being pushed to release, to open up. I can see the buttons being pushed only to open up more to my family expectations or to not expect that it would go this way or that way. The work is happening. But it’s very intense, Father. [Inaudible] I didn’t want to come. So much anger is coming up toward you. The voice is saying ‘Don’t speak to him.’ [Inaudible]

A:Use this. Use this as an opportunity. This voice which is saying ‘Don’t speak to him!’

Because that one wants the power.

Q: It’s not in the form of a voice, Father. It’s in the form of feeling, actually.

A:But in the feeling, there is an interpretation of what it means, isn’t it? Stay with the feeling. Without interpretation, it is just what it is. When it is interpreted, saying ‘This is saying ‘No!’ This is saying ‘Don’t talk to Father.’ And this is just remnants of that energetic movement that we dealt with mostly in the retreat. I can have this sort of residue and still try to claim control back in some way. So, don’t worry about that. Stay with That which is the witness of all of this. You say very nicely that ‘This is what the voice is saying. This is what the feeling is like.’ And what are you saying in that? ‘I am perceiving both of these.’ What is happening to That which

Q: Nothing. And I can see that, too.

A: So, which one are you? Are you the feeling, the thought, or the perceiver of them?

Q:[Inaudible] Even though I am the perceiver of all of this, there is no willingness to say ‘Yes, I am That.’ I don’t know the answer for that question.

A:But look at this situation. It’s like saying ‘What is the color of the rug in front of you? What is the color of the carpet in front of you?’ And you say that ‘I see it is red but something is stopping me from saying red’. This ‘something’ is the trickster. It’s just getting in the way of your insight about YourSelf and saying ‘Don’t admit that because then where will I go, what will I do?’ Once you see that nothing is happening to That which perceives all things, then whatever the mind is reporting about you and convincing you that this is true (‘My Masters are abandoning me, my family doesn’t love me, I am being pushed from all sides’) …, which ‘me’ are we talking about? In your insight you are finding that there is no such ‘me’ which is me to push from any side. But because there has been investment in that story, if you admit that so simply, the mind is very upset.

For days, I have had this story and he just comes and says ‘But look: It’s not real; it’s not true’ then obviously it can seem a bit upsetting for the mind.

Q: I can see, Father, what you’re saying. I can see that.

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Let’s look at it very objectively, if possible, based on whatever I am sharing in Satsang. If you were to take a poll and say ‘How worthy…, how much worthiness should be there in one to discover what I am pointing to?’ [Smiles]

Q: A poll?

A: A poll where they say ‘This much worthiness is needed.’

Q: Yeah, nothing.

A: Nothing. Because the only prerequisite is that You exist. I’m pointing to Your Existence.

Q: See, these are the Advaita answers that I have. I have this whole…

A:Yes. Yeah, you can have the notion for how unworthy you are or how worthy you are. What I am saying is that it is not applicable as a concept itself.

Q: No, it’s not.

A:The worthiness itself as a concept is not applicable, you see, because there is no benchmark for worthiness. I am saying that You Exist. And Your Existence is enough to hear what I am saying.

So, no condition…, no state…, no past…, no future…, nothing is needed. The tracking of worthiness as a concept is not needed. Because it is not applicable.

Q: Yes.

A:It’s like saying ‘How old does one have to be?’ (Even that might have a better answer, actually.) [Laughing] ‘How old does one have to be to recognize what they are?’ There is no such answer. Very young, Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] recognized from a very young age. There are many who recognized much older. No qualitative or quantitative distinction is needed.

So, worthiness as a concept itself belongs to a different sphere. It does not belong to what we are talking about.

Q:But, this concept doesn’t…, it’s not getting so much attention, but it’s always present. I mean, relatively speaking, it’s always present.

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A:Like the scared soldier who was just waiting in the bushes; like a guerrilla you would say. Nothing is ever actually present except YourSelf, but what you are saying is it’s just like lurking somewhere in the background, waiting to show up.

Q:Yes, it’s just annoying. And I just want to expose it because it doesn’t get that much from me but it comes around and there’s always an attempt to…, it comes in many forms, interpretations, thought-processes…, even in dreams. It’s one of those stickier, annoying concepts that just doesn’t…

A: Yes. Do you have any recollection of…, what is your first recollection of feeling unworthy?

Q:Just as a child and getting a lot of criticism. Hearing that I’m not good enough ever…, all this story. And then getting told very much that I’m not worthy in clear words. My father was an alcoholic and said some very awful things. So, that was probably where it kind of started. It’s not unusual. I don’t blame myself for anything, for having a sense of unworthiness. But it is just there; now it’s being exposed. It was always there; it was always there for you, just to verbalize it, to expose…, more than I’ve done.

A:Yes. Very good. [Silence] And rightly said, it is not an uncommon notion. But I am telling you (I am telling all of you) that it is not applicable; in the sense that it is as useful as saying ‘How tall does one have to be to find Freedom?’ [Laughs]

Q: I hope not.

A: [Laughing] (You think I’ll give you a new concept.)

That’s what I mean by not applicable. What did you eat for breakfast today, besides whether you get Freedom today or not? You see, it’s like that saying that. [Smiling] It’s just not applicable.

And I know that (she has been in Satsang a long time) she knows that this concept is really not applicable. But this is the power of conditioning; especially childhood conditioning where something has been deeply ingrained. It can feel like there’s a period of time before it can seem just be gone. It is actually nothing. But to even see that it is truly never, ever applicable can seem to take a bit of time. But exposing it (especially exposing it in the light of Satsang and in front of the Sangha itself) is very beautiful.

Q: As much as that is the other end; giving it up to become super-worthy.

A: That’s why I say ‘Not Applicable’ either way.

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The Heart of Being

[Reading from chat]: Q: It seems that in the heart space is where ‘I Am’ originates or resides, physically in the chest. The brain is here, is where all these sensed-perceptions are mixed in to the super-perception and attention to these perceptions. Meanwhile, the upper half of the body area seems (as silly as it sounds) to be where the Self is met…, when you say ‘Meet YourSelf’. My question is that it seems that although there is awareness of the lower portion of the body (legs and such) the meeting of the Self is not so prevalent here. There’s just a bunch of sensations called legs and feet and such. It has been bothering me …

A:Yes, the sense of Being (for most, I can say) seems to have its core or center in that which coincides…, (I am saying coincides, not locates) coincides with that which feels like the physical heart area. All of us have many layers of existence, and because this one layer of existence (the body) seems like the most obvious, most tangible one, we correlate all the other layers of existence in to this. So, that is why even many times in Satsang, the hand will go there. [Places his hand on his chest, heart area] Because although the hand is on the physical heart, it is actually something which is being experienced at another level of Existence, which is the level of Being. At the core of this, which Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] used to call this as the Heart, seems to be the center point of this sense of truth.

And yet, it has to be said that Consciousness does not always play in this way for everyone because for some…, even [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj used to say that ‘Just this sense of Being is everywhere and it has no core’. So, as part of this dynamic play of Consciousness, for some it can seem so apparent, like Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] used to say ‘Heart’ and [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj used to say ‘Everywhere, not just any particular location’. So, to this I have to say yes, that here it coincides where we see the sense of Being seems to have the strong light in that which coincides with what is experienced as a physical heart. But I can See that it is this Heart of Being which contains all other sensations, all other phenomenon. It is just that the position gets reversed where you can feel like ‘Ah, the true Heart is contained close to my physical heart’.

It is Seen that it is this true Heart which actually contains all other sensations and perceptions; and yet it seems to have strong point of light, a strong point of intensity, closer to that which seems like a physical heart.

And yes, it is also true, the other part of what you say (I like the innocence and integrity with which you shared your report) that as we look at this, as we are meeting OurSelf, it seems like the attention goes to the higher vibrations and sensations which are experienced and they do seem to correlate with these body sensations which are higher up. But you will find more and more that these higher vibrations actually contain all aspects our existence including every part of our body, our feet, our legs, everything, torso; everything is included in that. But you, as you are meeting YourSelf, whatever seems most natural to you, just stay with that. We are not making any real distinction between the sensations. I’m just sharing, reassuring you that that is a natural, normal part of our worldly existence when we come to a deeper meeting with OurSelf.

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Non-Attachment to Advaita Concepts

I am very happy. One thing that I must point out to everyone is that many of you are reporting of this; how the mind can become very attached to even the Advaita positions and the concepts of Advaita. We feel like ‘These are the final concepts; I have to hold onto those.’ But that is not what I am saying.

It is very important. I am happy to hear these reports; [so that we can be] empty of all notions. That is why Bhagavan’s [Sri Ramana Maharshi’s] example is very good when he says ‘These words which are being shared in Satsang are just the thorns that we are using to remove other thorns; and then to be thrown away.’ Or he says ‘It is like the stick which we are using to light the funeral pyre and then that stick is also thrown in the fire.’

I am very happy because as you are noticing this, that means that you cannot create a spiritual ego out of this…, you know, that ‘I have the best concept now, I’m knowing the best things, and when this comes and I am just trying to…’

What happens is that we are still fighting conceptually with things when they appear. Say ‘No, no.’ In the heart, some grief would be arising, but outwardly you’re saying ‘No, no; nothing is happening to me, nothing.’ That adds like a resistance ‘What Is’.

As we remain with ‘What Is’…, whatever is arising is arising, we stay with the insight of what we Are, which is that ‘In my unlimitedness, all is welcome to come’.

So, we don’t need use our mind to resolve something in life or to fix or to clarify something.

Like Bankei said ‘All things are perfectly resolved in the unborn.’ Such a beautiful line. One of the most beautiful lines I’ve ever read. ‘All things are resolved in the unborn.’ And the unborn is our natural, notionless Existence anyway. That means everything Is just what It Is.

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The Deepest Knowing is Knowingness Itself

[Reading from chat]: “Sometimes thoughts arise as a ravenous curiosity about something that is not known in the moment, accompanied by strong belief that I must know in order to be fulfilled, as if I am missing an integral piece of the jigsaw image of myself. I see that when these thoughts are not arising, when no thoughts are arising, there is no sense of incompleteness. This is simply Presence. Also, I see the play of conditioning; childish expression, the fears, the desires. They play through the body and the voice. But I recognize this is not who I am. I am not identifying with the play. I feel free”

In this play, for a long time we have relied on the lesser forms of knowing. We have relied on conceptual knowing, like if I can have the concept about something, I presume that I know it. Actually, we just have a belief, an opinion, about it. We don’t really know it, if it’s just conceptual. Then there is a greater form than conceptual knowing, but still a lesser form of knowing, which is perceptual knowing. ‘Oh, I know it because I saw it, I know it because I heard it.’ So, to rely on these perceptions is a greater form of knowing, greater than at least conceptual knowing, but it is still phenomenal; still part of this worldly play. And this perceptual knowing, then we can even expand into this sort of sensational knowing, emotional knowing; all these forms of knowing which is part of this phenomenal play.

Now, the beautiful thing is that in our notionlessness, when we are empty of just this conceptual notion about OurSelf, we naturally experience the deepest Knowing, the true Knowing. The Knowingness Itself, this Awareness Itself, is completely apparent.

But the instrument of this lesser knowing feels lost. It feels as if it is at sea. So, it tries to grab onto some beautiful concepts to explain what was actually known. And at times when it does not do a good job of it and it doesn’t have concepts to share, it can feel like ‘No, there is something insufficient in my Existence, in my Awareness of my Existence.’ And then it tries to sell us the idea that ‘Something has to be known for you to become complete.’

I am happy that you spot this. You say that ‘When I’m just Here, I feel no sense of lack or incompleteness. There is no need to know anything at all.’ This Knowingness is the source of all intelligence and that’s why it is also called ‘the Supreme intelligence’. What we know from concepts cannot even come close to the intelligence which is naturally just Here. So, we don’t exchange this Supreme Being for just a conceptual notion about ourselves. And all we can know in this conceptual way is just that; trying to replicate the beauty, the majesty of your Being in some words or concepts about yourself. All this is gone naturally in this moment and I just Am. There is nothing missing here. The Supreme intelligence of the Self is at play; in the play of even the phenomenal functioning of this world. Nothing needs to be done. Nothing needs to be not done. Just all that appears (including the movement of this body, including the movement of these words) all of this can happen in Your great openness, in Your great spaciousness, which is Your natural Presence.

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There is Only One Existence

[Reading from chat] “What can I do to realize that I am all alone and to realize it without falling back into delusion?”

Actually, even the concept of ‘alone’ relies on the concept of separation somewhere. [Silence] When you are checking on what is naturally present, you are just finding that there is just one existence: ‘I Am’ …, and this one existence is limitless. It is actually All There Is.

I want tell you that You are the unlimited one, the unlimited Being, which is the Source of all things, of all appearances. They come and they dissolve only within You.

Now, if we did not have the concept of ‘alone’ then this could not be troublesome. But I know this, that many times it can feel like this means that ‘I am the only one.’ And in that, hidden also again is the limited notion of what You are.

I am saying that You are beyond the play of one and many. You are that One which is beyond the phenomenal play of one and many. So, the concept of ‘alone or with company’ or ‘alone or with others’ does not apply. You are not a thing at all. If you were an object then I could say ‘Yes, are you an alone object? Or are there many of you?’ But you are not an object at all. You are That in which all time and space takes birth.

When you say ‘What can I do to realize that I am alone …, and to realize it without falling back into delusion?’ for this, I have some very good news. Just naturally, in this moment, whether your mind agrees or not, this truth is completely apparent to You, that there is only one Existence. It is completely apparent to You in this moment.

The only way to play ‘as if’ you are struck in delusion is to buy what the thoughts are telling you about yourself. But whatever they might be saying, in that very moment when you check, You will See that the truth has not left You. It is always Here.

So, the good news is that You never actually fall in to delusion. But many times, Consciousness seems to play with the pretense of separation or delusion.

That is why we have Satsang every day (Monday to Friday). As often as you can, whenever life makes the space for it, come to Satsang. And you will soon be reporting that ‘It just seems like it is impossible to fall back into delusion. It is just so clear to me that I can never be struck.’ And I will recommend, even then, to keep coming to Satsang. [Smiles]

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Getting Rid of the Ideas of the Non-Self

Let’s talk about the Self. [Laughter] But about the Self, nothing can be said. [Smiling] So, maybe all that we are doing is talking about how to get rid of the ideas of the non-self.

But strangely enough, they all gone now. In this moment, the Now, there is nothing.

So, first, shall we invent some trouble then try to get rid of it? [Laughing] That is why it is called a play. Let’s pick up an imagined problem for the imagined entity, the imagined ego. Then let’s discover how to be rid of it. Or just enjoy What Is.

The greatest Being in the world is Here.

Your very Existence.

[Silence]

But there’s a knock on the door. We’re enjoying our Presence. Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. ‘Knock, knock, knock.’ And you know who it is. It is the same guy; the mind. ‘I have something important to say. Leave your Presence for a minute.’ [Laughing] ‘Because this is really important.’ And all that I am saying in Satsang is: Nothing is more important.

It can seem like an exchange. You can truly never exchange Your Being, of course. But it can seem like we make this exchange of this beautiful Presence, the ever-present Being, with just a notion the mind is offering up. It’s like you’re already vacationing in the most beautiful spot in the world but this Travel Agent comes and says ‘You know, I have brochures of some very beautiful places. Would you like to see?’ And I know that human curiosity is such that if I say ‘Don’t see’ then it can seem too difficult. ‘Maybe he had a better place after all.’ [Laughing] So, you can look at the brochures. Let them come and go. You See where You Are, and Know that there is nothing better than this. Any experience you might have will just be a moving shadow in the light of Your very Being. You don’t need any fireworks, any excitement. All that can come and go.

[Silence]

Empty of concepts, of ‘How this should be’ the greatness of This is apparent to You. That is why these days I am not saying so much that it just is so simple, so regular, because that has been misunderstood. The discovery is simple. What is discovered is the Greatest. But it cannot be captured with your mind. It is beyond concepts and perceptions. But it is not beyond You.

That You Exist is not a concept for You.

It is your living Truth.

That You are aware of this Existence is not a concept for You.

It is Your Reality.

And this Reality, that You are aware, is unchanging.

If there is an unchanging Self, this is It.

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You don’t have to go looking anywhere else.

All of you already know that that which appears, disappears; that which comes, goes. Then what are you waiting for? Something to come? Something to happen?

[Silence]

The Travel Agent has offered real tickets but where have they got you so far? That which the mind has sold you in the past…, what amazing holidays have you had with the mind?

[Silence]

Nothing is greater than what already Is.

[Silence]

How many are still waiting for that special movement, that special experience?

Imagine that it has happened. It has come and it has gone. And now You are Here. You just had the biggest Awakening experience and Now, You are Here. This Being, this Here-ness, this Is- ness, has not changed; whatever your previous experiences might have been.

[Silence]

Who is Here Now?

What is Here Now?

This is God.

This is the Self.

Hasn’t God said ‘I Am that I Am’?

You are that ‘I Am’.

[Silence]

Which is the ‘I’ that Is?

Who Is?

I Am.

This ‘I’ is which one?

Who is the ‘I’ that Is?

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Existence Stands Alone as I-Am-ness

[Reading from chat] “Even the most intimate body sensations are Seen in ‘I Am’. Do these not aid in the sense of Existence? Or can Existence stand alone, untouched by any affirmation of Its Existence?”

The ‘I Am-ness’ is the affirmation of the sense of Existence already. This is already the affirmation of your Existence, when you say ‘I Am.’ It needs no other ‘something’ to exist.

And those of you that enjoy some of these contemplations, you can notice:

What is that which is there, first thing in the waking state?

What changed when you woke?

All these sensations are coming and going.

You never experience the exact same sensation twice anyway.

But the ‘I Am’ is always the same.

The Being is unchanging.

These sensations are coming and going.

Therefore, independent of all sensations, You Are.

And if this is confusing, ask yourself: ‘Can I stop being now?’

And don’t just ask yourself: Try to stop being.

Don’t be.

[Silence]

You will taste for YourSelf the independent nature, the effortless, natural Existence; This ‘I Am’.

[Silence]

You are discovering Its spaciousness in which all movements, all appearances, come and go. But this space remains untouched.

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Only Isness Is

If you are going to hear something in an untroubled way (if it is going to trouble you, then leave it) but if you’re going to hear something in an untroubled way…, if you just look at this little deeper, you See that:

Only the Self Is.

Only Is-ness Is.

I don’t want to inject an ‘I’ in to this now. So, before the injecting of ‘I’…, the ‘I’ that could inject or not inject:

Is that separate from the Self Itself?

[Silence]

I See, I am not this.

I See, I am not this.

I See, I am not this.

I See, I am not this.

I See, I am not this.

I just See.

This Seeing-ness,

This Knowing-ness,

This Awareness,

Is Your only Self,

Is Your only Reality.

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In Relationship, Everything Is Grace

A:So, you said that you have a fear that you hope that you don’t mess up. More important is to recognize that as long as it is a phenomenal relationship like this, there are going to be mess ups. Mess ups are inevitable and mess ups will happen from both sides. You have to be very forgiving to yourself and you have to be forgiving of the other also. Because what happens is that when we get into these relationships, there are going to be differences of opinions, different ideas that both of us are carrying; and when ideas are different, in the play of the world, it can seem like some clash can happen because of different ideas.

So, recognize that this will can happen in a relationship between any two people but it can seem like it is much more strong, much more hurtful, much more difficult when it is in such an intimate, close relationship like boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife, these kinds of relationships. It can seem like it is a lot of suffering; a lot of pain can come because of these. But we have to just be forgiving, allow yourself your mistakes. Know that mistakes are going to happen and don’t be too much caught up in trying to be right.

Just remember that all of this is conceptual, so actually, there is no right or wrong. And most of arguments or trouble comes in relationships because one is trying to prove that they are right and another is trying to say that no, they are right. So, don’t be so concerned about trying to be right all the time. Allow. Allow things to flow. And even if you recognize that there are some wrong notions which your partner might seem to have, wrong perceptions about you or the world, don’t be too much in a rush to fix it. You can point them out gently, you can knock gently and see if there is openness to that kind of conversation and then you can start pointing things out. But also remember that you have to be as open, more open. The more open you are you will find that your partner is open to feedback.

So, all my blessing are there for this relationship (and all relationships). And it might sound a bit funny or strange to say, but whatever is the play of this Grace, all my blessings are for that. There was one friend (who is of course much older than you) he was staying with me at one point. So, he said to me, ‘Ananta, when the relationship happened, so much Grace was flowing, so much Grace was flowing, everything was Grace…, but now, see where we have come’. And I reminded him that everything is Grace actually. It is not that Grace was flowing only then and now it has stopped. So, remember that everything that is happening is Grace for both of you. And ultimately, all of it is providing you so much opportunity for the recognition of the Truth, for your Self-inquiry.

So as much as you can (it is not hundred percent possible in every relationship to go completely open, but…) go as much open as possible. And may your relationship be like the relationship that space can have with space or air can have with air. You will find that so much joy will come; even in the apologizing after the messing up, which can feel like ‘No, no, I don’t want to do that’, but you find that so much sweetness is there. Later, when you look back at relationships, you will see that those moments were also very sweet.

So, don’t worry about not messing up…, you are going to and she is also going to. [Laughs] So, these are going to happen. But all your Satsang, all your insights about yourself, will come into

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use. Because the ego (the mind) will try to use the relationship to convince you that you are an individual and that you right. Many times, it will come to convince you that you are right and thereby convincing you that you are a person, that you are an individual, and this is where your Satsang will help.

Sometimes, in moments of anger or moments of high intensity, some angry words will be spoken from either side. It is a part of every relationship. But then, when that is gone, when you’re back of your spaciousness, then don’t hold on to this idea of ‘No, no, I was right to do that’ or ‘She was wrong to do this to me’. Be quick to apologize. Be quick to forgive also.

I wish you the very best in this new relationship and may it bring so much light into your life.

Q:Thank you, Father. I just want to expose. It feels like I have two big expectations about this kind of thing. The first one is that I want her to know about those kind of ‘spirituality things’ like me, because this is so important for me. And you know I find myself living like close in a corner and trying to sort of introduce her to this, but I know it’s really hard. And even with my family I can’t do it until now. And along with that it seems like there is the assumption…, there was superiority feelings in me, because I know ‘those’ kind of things, so ‘I am kind of higher than everyone because I am spiritual and stuff’ …, and I just want to speak it out.

Also, there is a fear of messing it up. But also, sometimes I see those kinds of really nice relationships in the Sangha and they post in social media and I have the hope that maybe I can really do something different. It doesn’t have to be really painful all the time. I can have really a sweet relationship for my whole life and die like peacefully and recognize the Truth together and it would be so good! These two things, those two expectations are really big and I want to expose them here somehow.

A:This is very good and I am going to tell you something that will save you a LOT of trouble. [Chuckles] I am going to say something which will save you a lot of trouble and actually if someone had told me this when I had got married or when I had started to become spiritual (somebody had told me immediately) I feel like a lot of trouble could have been saved here. Now, of course, I see that all of that is also Grace. But since you are here now, I will use this opportunity to tell you this.

You must be responsive to how open she is in that moment, you see. You must never try to make somebody more spiritual or tell them about something greater that you know. You must have a sense of how much resonance is there. That is why I say that with our loved ones, we must knock very gently. Knock gently and see if there is some resonance, if something is being heard.

Now, you’ve heard this probably, but it was a few years ago; what happened here (many years ago now) was that as I started getting into the inquiry and getting into spirituality, then Garima (my wife) sometimes would have a bad day at work (and this is the one instance which I really remember because I was really being a spiritual jerk at that time). So, what would happen then is that she would come from a bad day at work and say ‘You know, this one said this to me and this happened and I asked them to get this done and they were just not doing it’ (these kinds of things) …, and I would say ‘So, who is the ‘I’ to whom all this is happening to?’ And she would

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get really upset, because she was expecting to speak to her husband and vent out her problems; she was not even expecting solutions.

The other mistake that I’ve seen in relationships is that one can seem like they are always offering solutions but actually what they’re are looking for is just some understanding, some resonance, that ‘You had to go through all of this, I am really sorry you had a bad day.’ Instead of that, if you go and say ‘Can you go an investigate? Who is the One who had the bad day?’ it can seem like lack of compassion, actually. And it might not be your intent but when there is some specialness, like you mentioned, that ‘I have something special with me, let me show her how we can deal with life’ …, when we have that kind of arrogance hidden somewhere then all this can come in this way.

Adya said very beautifully once (Adyashanti said) ‘It could be that every word that you are saying is True…, it could be that every word you are saying is True but you could still be a jerk.’ So, how is that possible? Only when you are not operating in the moment with resonance to What Is; we’re just trying to show that we have a solution or we have some better understanding of life or knowledge of life.

This does not mean you have to become sheep and hide your own Truth. It is a fine balance in a way. You don’t have to be like sheep and say “No, no, I am also caught up in my mind all the time’ (these kinds of things). You don’t have to say things like that. You can say that ‘I have found a lot of peace in discovering that I am beyond this body and beyond this mind, but there are many times when we can still identify with this.’ So, you can be true to your truth and never put your partner down for her truth as she is it experiencing at that time.

Before I met Guruji [Shi Mooji] I used to visit Ramesh Balsekar very often. So, at one time I even asked him. I said to him ‘This inquiry (Who Am I?) and coming to this recognition is brining so much happiness here. But when I speak to my wife, she just doesn’t want to do any of this, she doesn’t understand. What should I do?’ So, he told me something also which helped a lot. He said ‘Wait for her to come to you.’ And this is something that is true for any interaction in life, any relationship in life. And you will find that usually I don’t speak so much about these things unless I am invited to.

So, you will find that will really really be something that will help the relationship; because our partners are always good at smelling where something is coming from. If they get a whiff of specialness or arrogance, then it can be very hurtful.

Q:[Shares that it’s good enough. That there are still expectations for happy relationship, but will be open. And thank you.]

See if you cannot burden your relationship with too many expectations, because that can create a big burden. If the benchmark is really high, then when the squabbling happens, when some tension happens, when some trouble happens, then you can feel like you compare against that. I would even say: just try to have a very normal, regular relationship. And if it turns out that it is the BEST, forever relationship then that is a great thing. But if you put so much pressure on it

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and say that it has to be the world’s best forever-lasting (unlike any other relationship that you have seen) then it can create some sort of unnatural expectation from it.

I know that when we are young that everyone gets into a relationship hoping that it is going to be the best ever. That is not a bad thing. This feeling of the love that you are experiencing, being the strongest that you can feel for anyone; all this is very good. Just in the way of how it should function on a day-to-day basis, don’t burden it with some high expectations. And look at all of this as advice from a man with some grey hair. [Laughter] It’s not necessarily spiritual advice. Just having gone through this phase in my life, I can offer this advice.

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Wanting to Directly Experience This Knowingness

Q:[Broken English]: You know, I have been speaking to you about this two weeks ago or so; there is still [something]. But just want to speak from ‘now’ experience. I can say that it seems like something maybe changed since then. Usually, when I don’t follow the thoughts and just stay as Being, I usually just experience this peace, spaciousness. But sometimes it feels like I would like to experience this Knowingness…

A:Okay, so first let me repeat what you say so I’m clear. You say ‘When I let go of my thoughts, don’t follow them and just remain with my Presence, a lot of peace and joy can come. But I want to also experience the Knowingness’. Now, is this what you said?

Q:Yeah, this Knowingness which is not burdened with quality. It seems like in the past, I have the experience of this, but now I just, it feels like now it’s different. You know?

A:Actually, all of what you said is included in that Knowingness, isn’t it? Because there is a Knowingness of this Presence; there is a Knowingness of this Existence, and there is a Knowingness that in this Existence all these flavors are coming. Is that Knowingness itself, does it have any quality, when you look now? That which knows your Existence, does that have any quality?

Q: When I ask ‘Existence’ I take it as what I perceive; so that would be like peace and space.

A:Okay, so let’s look further. I say ‘Try to stop being’ and there is a very natural sense which is beyond these sensations of peace and joy; just that I Exist.

Q: In that moment, I take that ‘I Exist’ as whatever I experience, and that would be peace.

A:Yes. But also you See that these experiences are coming and going and changing in quality moment by moment. That which is the basis for their coming and going; that Being…

Q:This one I want to experience. It feels like I want to really make only this pure and without any-ever attributes; to experience this, you know.

A:Yes. But it’s more. You are having that experience but more naturally than you think it should be. Because whether you say ‘I am angry’ or whether you say ‘I am peaceful’ …, the ‘I Am’ is experienced.

Q: Without any quality?

A: Now, what you are saying is that there should be a condition that no other quality is arising.

Q:Maybe because in the past, I have been having these experiences when contemplating. I experience somehow myself of as this non-quality-less completely. And now, it feels like sometimes I can even move around and really be in this, like consciously experiencing this ‘non- quality-ness’. You know? But now, here from now, it’s not like that.

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A:That’s the trouble. [Laughter] Many times when we experience it without quality, we are like ‘Where is the bliss? Where is the peace? It is supposed to come with Ananda.’ Now because you have been in that recognition of what You Are, naturally some peace and some joy is coming. [Smiles]

Q:Its coming but I don’t want …, it feels like I am not …, I don’t…, because peace can come and go throughout the day and spaciousness can come and go, so I really don’t want to say ‘Oh, that’s fine with me; this peace and this’ because many times throughout the day, I don’t feel this.

I feel different stuff.

A:So, sometimes there is peace, sometimes there is no peace or some other sensation, some other…

Q:And it’s fine, actually. Even when there is no peace, it’s totally fine. There is only body; lots of attention on the body. It’s fine even experiencing thoughts, its fine. But…,

A:So, when there is no peace, if you were to ask yourself ‘Can I stop being?’

Q:That would be then that I would be asking ‘Can this body stop being?’

A:So, are you saying that your Being includes just the sensations of this body? Or there is something more basic than that; something more fundamental?

Q:In those moments when attention is on the body, it’s experienced that that’s all there is.

A:Okay, so let’s come back to Now. Are you aware that you Exist?

Q: Straightway, attention goes to what is experienced in the gap, that spaciousness.

A: That’s fine. Let it go wherever it wants.

Q: Subtle body sensations.

A:That’s fine. So, include everything. Wherever attention goes, it is fine. Are you aware of your

Existence?

Q:Like, do I experience this spaciousness and subtle body experience?

A:Whatever the experience might be.

Q:Yes, I experience.

A:You are aware of this experience? Whatever you might be perceiving, you are aware of the perception, isn’t it?

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Q:In this moment, the awareness, when you ask ‘Aware’ I take it to be, for some reason, only ‘Do I experience?’ Like, I cannot say what is Awareness in the moment.

A:That’s fine. Okay, that’s fine. In this moment, there is an experience. Now, that experience went away and even that you are aware of (like the sound of the ambulance is an experience that you were aware of). Now you see that there is no experience like that sound of ambulance. So, that Awareness is not gone, but that experience is gone.

Q:Yeah, now it’s more subtle. It’s like, again the outcome of it. It’s very light in the body of what I speak that is here. So, usually I refer a lot of the outcome of what is being guided to me.

A:So, my advice would be to, as much as possible, don’t bother with the outcome. Because that will become a habit, you will keep looking at the coconut and saying ‘What’s happened to the ocean?’

Q: Yes.

A:So, you are Aware of experiences and you are Aware even when that experience goes away. This that is Aware, is that itself an experience?

Like one way to say it is ‘You are aware of the experience, but that experience is not aware of you’. This You that is Aware of the experience, what is the taste of that?

Q:It’s just Knowingness, but without explanation somehow; without explanation of how it is known.

A: Yes, exactly.

Q: Something wants to settle on it and like experience it, but it’s never possible.

A:Yes, because there is no phenomenal taste of this Knowingness. It’s really a non-experiential experience; the only one we can have. I am aware, which means that ‘I am aware that Awareness is Here’. And this Awareness has no taste; no quality, has no attribute.

Q:But somehow it is Known now. But in other times, it is not known. It is only experience that is known.

A:Okay then …, you keep coming to Satsang. [Laughing together. Ananta raises his hand to hold questioner’s hand. Questioner shakes his hand instead and everyone laughs.]

Q: So, this Knowingness will become more apparent, or …?

A:Don’t worry about that. If try to keep track, it’s going to become more oppressive, this tracking.

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Q:Yeah, so now, then throughout the day when I am into this…, when I have time, when I feel like I have nothing to do and just do nothing? Or no, no…, more when I am actually in the body more; I am really experiencing these body sensations? What is the best way of…? Because in the moment, it’s more (in a good way) impacting in my memory whenever I experience something really deeply in the body; that ‘No, it’s not true.’ Somehow it helps as well, you know? ‘It’s not, true what you experience.’ The deeper truth actually has been experienced. It’s somehow Known you know? …, but not as ‘now known’.

A:What you are finding as your insight in the Satsang, you will find that these insights don’t actually leave you. When I said ‘Don’t worry about it’ was because sometimes we become very feverish about that, we become like ‘Oh, this should not leave. Am I doing something wrong?’ You will see that just a natural expansion will happen. That’s why when we are in Satsang, actually that most of the things I am saying is to come to this insight. And that much itself is enough in a day.

Q:It’s true. And actually, afterwards, I can spend the whole day or even a week and there is just deep Knowing, even without experiencing something. You can experience whatever. It’s just deep Knowing that everything is fine; all of this. So, just basically confirming this more and more.

A:At least, during the time that you are in Satsang itself is more than enough. But whenever it feels natural, not too forceful, even for the rest of the day. Because many, I feel, are also struggling; struggling with this thing. ‘Oh, no’ like, in the middle of a relationship issue then we are trying to force too much, like ‘I am the Self, I am the Self’. Like that. Only when it feels natural, light and easy. And then you will see that ‘I am always just This. All of this movement of this, the world, and what is spoken through this mouth and the phenomenal experiences which have been had; all of this is just on the surface, moving around.’ It will become more and more natural.

Q:It feels like it is sometimes good to confirm like that. Even now it’s confirmed, but sometimes it’s just …

A:No, it’s very good. Whenever it feels light, natural. And you can always come. Don’t feel like ‘Oh, but I just asked him.’ You can come tomorrow or you can come again.

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Your Being Has Not Changed

In most countries in the world, you have these scratch cards. You have these scratch cards, in the silver foil? It has some holographic sort of image and then you take a coin and scratch it off. And under that you find something…, like a lottery you know, you find something special. So, Satsang is like that. [Smiles] You scratch over the hologram of this world. And what do you find under that?

[Sangha]: Nothing. [Laughter]

A:You find this unchanging Being, God, Consciousness. [Smiles] Of course, you are expecting million dollars. Then it can seem a bit disappointing. [Chuckles] So, if you are attached to the images in the hologram and this is being scratched, then you can feel like ‘Oh, this is too painful, this is too unbearable, and this is too difficult. ‘What will I get any way, when I scratch this surface? What will I really get?’

So, here we don’t even have to remove anything. We don’t have to remove the hologram. You can just take a peek behind the veil of this hologram. Everything that is appearing and disappearing with this hologram; what is behind this veil and how do we check that? There are couple of (many way, but a couple of) simple ways which are coming up now. Find out: In whose light do all these images exist? In which light, whose Presence, do all these images exist?

Another simple way is just to check: What perceives all of these holographic images? And the reason we are calling them holographic is because they are changing; just changing.

So, when Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Don’t bring me something domestic’ what does it actually mean? It means you can keep the surface-level things aside for some time; and can we go deeper one level and check on the light of this Existence, the screen of this Existence or the perceiver of this Existence? There is only one light, one screen or space and one perceiver.

Who is this one?

Could it be that God had been hiding in your attic [Smiles] and we have been looking for him everywhere?

On the surface, lot of things have been happening; relationships, money, heath, search for meaning and value. All of this is happening on the surface. But in all of this time, God has been Here. Your Being, Consciousness, has been Here. Objects have changed with time, but Your Being has not.

So, when you scratch the surface, not only you will find this unlimited Being, but you find that it is Your own Presence. What greater prize you could win in the lottery? [Smiles]

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This is So Simple That It Must Be It

I want to change one paradigm around, one popular paradigm from the mind which says ‘Oh, this is too simple therefore it cannot be It.’ [Chuckles] You must replace that notion. If you have to use a notion [Smiles] (the best is notionless, but if you have to use a notion) you have to say ‘This is so simple that it must be It’.

Being is the only thing free from complexity. Just to Be. Being is Being. It has zero complexity. That’s why I have been saying recently that ‘Your simplest discovery will be your greatest one’.

What did Ashtvakra say? He said ‘Mind is complex, let it go.’

What are you most naturally; effortlessly?

Nothing on the surface has to change also. Even before you can try to become effortless…, I say: what are you effortlessly? [Makes a gesture of making effort] But even before that? [Chuckles] You just Are.

That is why the attempt to find God is such a paradox…, because you could not get rid of God if you tried. When I ask you ‘Can you stop Being?’ it’s the same as asking ‘Can you be rid of God?’ [Glances at audience] Cannot do it. You just Are.

So, how is this master-trick played? What is the trick of the mind? There is only one trick it has; to convince you that this Being, this Existent Being, is something individual or personal, that It is not God, It is not Consciousness, It is not unlimited. That is all that it is doing. Everything else is actually showing you your Truth. It is only our interpretation coming from this mind which creates this notion of separation.

So, when you check ‘Can I stop Being now?’ …, this Being that you are discovering about yourselves is not a personal entity, is not individual. It has no boundaries. It is not existent in time; time is existent in It. It is not existent in space; space is existent in It. It Itself is beyond all ideas of space and time.

There is an aspect of You which has not aged. Isn’t it? Our body has aged, our ideas have become old, some sensations and emotions we have experienced for a long time and they seem old. But there is something about You, which is beyond this time, which is the perceiver of the movement that we call time. Or to put it more accurately: ‘the movement of objects through which we infer time.’ Your very Existence is not participating in this limited realm of time and space.

So, if the question ‘Can I stop Being?’ is the coin that we are using to scratch the surface, and you come across this Presence, without going to your interpretation (your mental interpretation) of this Presence, see if you can just remain with just Your inner insight about it; Your tasting, Your direct tasting of it.

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Stay in the tasting of your Being. Because if you give it to the mind, you know what happens. Guruji [Mooji] says ‘You bring chocolate cake to the mind, and it only mixes mud in it.’ [Chuckles] So, as you are tasting your Being, if you quickly go with just your interpretation of it, it will say ‘But…, where is the bliss? But…, this can’t be it. But…’ [Chuckles]

How long will we engage with this seller of doubt?

How long will you continue to doubt Your very Being, Your very Existence?

There will come a time where no notion will do (to describe yourself). My invitation is that: This time is now. This is what I mean when I say that everything we can say after ‘I Am’ is a story, is a lie, because this ‘I Am’ is beyond description.

And as we leave this Presence unharassed, unmolested by notions, then all of you also might say (as Master Bankei said) ‘All things are perfectly resolved in the unborn.’

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You Are Discovering the Unchanging

One time it happened that one of the sangha members, after a Satsang broadcast had finished, (this was about three years ago) she was sitting there and she said ‘No. You take me through this because I’m just not getting what you’re saying.’ Something like that she was saying. So, then we went through the inquiry together and you could see that in the inquiry something was becoming really clear. She became, after a while, more participative in this world. So, I said ‘What happened? What did you see?’ She said ‘I saw there is no battle to fight.’ These are some of the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard. She said ‘I’ve been going like Don Quixote, fighting these battles, but there is no battle to fight.’ What a beautiful way to express the same thing: ‘All things are perfectly resolved in the unborn.’ [Quote by Bankei] The fight, the resistance, the struggle, is only ‘our most notional condition’. (I don’t know how these terms come.)

What is the pre-notional condition? That there is no battle. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. And remember that this ‘nothing to do, nowhere to go’ is not talking about the surface level. At the surface level, the body can do what it is doing or not; it can go where is going or not. But you are discovering the Unchanging. So, this ‘no battle’ is just naturally present Here, prior to your interpretation of an emotion, prior to your interpretation of an event. Just Now. Just Now.

We did a fun exercise in the retreat. We said ‘Some of us have deep notions of unworthiness, or deep ideas that something has to happen before I can be free’. So, in a joke I said ‘Yes, it is true. Actually, you have to have meditated for a thousand years; over all your lifetimes, you should have meditated for a thousand years. And I’ve been keeping track of all of you. [Chuckles] I’ve been keeping track of all of you and it so happens that I invited only those who have finished exactly 999 years, 364 days 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds: and You are Free Now.

What does freedom look like? What You Are Now. What does enlightenment look like? What You Are Now.

Not what you think you are, not what you feel you are; what You Are. Not what you conceptually conceive you are, not even what you perceive you are; but what You Are.

Behind the veil of these moving images, you have always been the very light of All-There-Is. You are that Being which is the substratum of all expressions; that water which flows in all rivers and oceans. It is the same water that forms the Ganga and it is the same water as this coconut water next to me. Just things at the surface which are different. At their core, in their Reality, they are the same.

When you mix your Being with ideas about YourSelf then you appear to be an individual, a person. But as you are free from notions now, empty of concepts, naturally Here and Now, You Are the greatest Enlightened Being. (Not you personally, but in Your Essence.) The highest Truth about YourSelf is naturally present…, (whether you call that ‘Self’, whether you call it Guruji, whether you call it God, whether you call it Atma, whether you call it Consciousness: You are It.

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Does the Highest Not Also Include You?

This half-way doubt is impossible. You cannot say that ‘The highest is there but I am not It.’ ‘The highest is there but I am not It’…, why can’t you say that? Because if it is the highest then it cannot be this which is just high enough that it excludes you; then there must be something higher than that which includes you. You following what I am saying?

If the highest is true, can it be that the highest must be there but it can’t include me; because then there would be a ‘higher than that’ which includes you also? So, either there is no ‘highest’ or it is already Here. That’s why I said ‘Halfway doubt is not possible.’ And what I am telling you is from tasted experience; it is not from intellectual reasoning. But I’m also showing you that even with reasoning, it is not possible to doubt.

All of us say ‘God is everywhere’ but when most of us say ‘God is everywhere’ (when most of humanity says ‘God is everywhere) we mean ‘God is everywhere but me’. And if everybody believed this, then God is actually nowhere. If ‘God is everywhere but me’ was for everyone, then God is nowhere.

That is the great thing about this discovery (and I said that it sounds distant when I say ‘God is Here’. It can sound distant when I say ‘God is Here’ but what if you were to discover that saying ‘God is Here’ is the same as saying ‘I Am’? They are completely the same.

God is Here. Like we said the other day: ‘God Now’ is the same as saying ‘I Am’.

It was a sweet satsang that day when we said that we are basically operating in one of two modes: either ‘God now’ or ‘Me-ow’. [Drawing upon the parable of the cat] Because when there is ‘me’… there is an ‘ow’. [Ouch]

To see that: ‘God Now’ is just ‘I Am’ …, and ‘I am something’ is ‘me-ow’. Just ‘I Am’ is ‘God Now’ but to attach an attribute to this unlimited, attribute-less Being is to pose, to pretend, to put on the mask of the ‘me’.

That is why my advice is to remain in Your notionless Existence.

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Wherever You May Wander, You Will Only Find YourSelf

It’s a worthwhile experiment, you know? If somebody said ‘If you do this, and do this and do this, then all things will be resolved.’ Like, you take three steps; and if you take three steps, all things would be resolved. First you go to Kilash, then you go to Tiruvannamalai, then you go to Rishikesh; three steps and then your life is completely resolved. Then they say ‘Actually, two steps are needed. You just go to Tiruvannamalai and Rishikesh.’ Perfectly resolved. ‘Ah, this is easier. Okay.’ And then, just one step; just go to Tiruvannamalai. ‘That just made it really simpler. Thank you, thank you, thank you.’ Then they say ‘No step is needed; all things are perfectly resolved in the unborn.’ [Smiles] ‘No, this I don’t like. At least, tell me where to go; that one place.’ [Chuckles] This is the trick. It is really like this. That is why steps are more popular in this world. ‘No step’ is very unpopular.

What is that story of the Zen master who has a discussion? He is sitting on the step. (Okay, this is paraphrasing a bit. And nobody can tell a story as good as Guruji [Sri Mooji] so please forgive my story telling.) So, this Zen master is sitting on the steps. Another man comes to him and says ‘Why are you just sitting around? Why don’t you go work in your field?’ [The Zen master says]: ‘Then what will happen?’ [The man says]: ‘Then you can use that money and build a house for yourself.’ [The Zen master says]: ‘And then what will happen?’ [The man says]: ‘Once you have a house for yourself, you can have some more money and get married.’ [The Zen master says]: ‘Then what will happen?’ [The man says]: ‘Then you can have kids, they will come in to your life; you can have more and they can also work with you in the fields. And you will have more money.’ [The Zen master says]: ‘And then what will happen?’ [The man says]: ‘Oh, then you can just sit in peace. Nothing to do.’ So, the Zen master says ‘That is what I am doing.’ [Smiles]

This is what I mean when I say wherever you may wander, you will only find yourself. It is inescapable. You could be doing the highest kriya yoga, pranayama, all your chakras would be awakened; you could travel through any aspect of time and space you would like; all of the seven billion beings in humanity will recognize your greatness and will be subservient to you. But even in all of this, you will only find yourself to be what you are Now. Not one inch greater can you become. You are already All There Is. [Silence] You have never left the destination.

Notionlessly you can’t even play this game of seeker and finder, of bondage and freedom: You just Are. God Is. God Now. Before you can decide whether this is true or not, You Are. Whatever conclusion you might make, you can only make it because You Are. I Am. It is the Source. It is the substratum of all appearances. No step can bring you to It and no step can take you away from It. They are just not applicable; it is not applicable.

It’s important to say it’s ‘not applicable’ because some of you who would have hared this would feel like ‘What he is saying is don’t do kriya, don’t do meditate.’ [Smiles] I didn’t say that. I just said that whatever you might be doing: You Are. And whatever you might not be doing: You Are. It is the basis for all doing or not-doing. It is the light of all appearances. It is You.

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Take a Peek into What You Really Are

There is never a reason to be frustrated as a person and to say ‘I am so frustrated, I didn’t find God’ because this is an impossibility. It’s more likely that you would be a frustrated God, saying ‘I couldn’t shake off my Godliness. I tried with a million ideas and notions, but it was so clear that I just Am.’

In the minute you say ‘I Am’…, the minute you say ‘I’ …, you are pointing to your Godliness. There is no limited self. Nobody has found this limited self.

It is like the Lockness monster. A lot of people believe in it but nobody has found it. You might see some footsteps, some ‘circumstantial evidence’ (as I call it) of ‘the person’. It has never shown up in this way.

This is the same thing as the idea of the person. It is just a belief that there exists an entity called ‘me’ which had a birth, which is going to die.

The only Reality is the unborn.

So, open the door to your attic.

Leave the ‘real’ that is phenomena and just take a peek into what You really Are.

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All Things Are Perfectly Resolved in Your Notionless Being

The taste of your own Being is never disappointing. Well, it can seem disappointing sometimes, if you feel like it has to taste a certain way. If you go to the Ganga …, when I was younger we used to go to the Ganga, to the banks of the Ganga, and drink the water from it (in fact, it was very much a popular thing to do) …, but if you drink a sip from the Ganga and expect it to taste like Gatorade or something, then you will be disappointed.

There is a big clue as to why water continues to be the most popular drink. You can mix so many tastes in it, you can do so much with it now, and yet all of those tastes we can have enough of; but just water itself, nobody says ‘Oh, my God, I’m tired of tasting water’. This is Your Being. Although it is empty of quality, it is Your very Essence. And because it is empty of quality, is it not tired; because all qualities, all tastes (even if they most sublime tastes) if you have too much of it becomes tiring. When my throat was bad for a long time, and initially I was really enjoying the honey, ginger, lemon, and it was really good, I felt it could be good. But after ten days, I felt like I was ginger-lemon- honey-ed out. ‘Can I just have some water?’

No matter what the taste is…, I joke sometimes and say ‘Even if it is the angels playing the harp, if you have to hear it all the time you will say ‘Please, not now; please, let’s not hear anymore’.

This quality-less Existence is our very nature. We have played with qualities; we have played the game of ‘desire and aversion’ and now we are becoming done with this game. We allow all appearances to come and go.

Just like Ashtavakra said:

‘I am the One Solitary witness of all things. What is here for me to accept or renounce?

All things come and go as waves on the ocean which is my very Self.’

Many times, as we are taking the break on Friday evening, I say to everyone ‘May all of you have a concept-free weekend’. Today being a Monday, I want to actually say to all of us ‘May we all have a concept-free week’. It is a worthwhile experiment.

The great Zen Master Bankei said ‘All things are perfectly resolved in the unborn’. What does this mean, the unborn? Just as we don’t pick up the pretense of the limited Self, we don’t buy the story from the mind, we don’t activate these notions about ourself, It is naturally present. It is this Being, this Consciousness, that is what the Zen Masters would call ‘the unborn mind’.

Another way to put it is that ‘All things a perfectly resolved in Your notionless Being, in Your concept-less Existence.’

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In Truth, You Are the Absolute

(ShivRatri Blessings)

Shiva is just another name for the Absolute; the One that we speak of every day. Today is that day that we celebrate that One. Actually, we celebrate every day. But still there is some fun in this leela. [Chuckles, and sangha laughs sweetly]

So, it is said that today is the day Shiva and Parvati got married (today is the night, tonight). Shiva is the Absolute and Parvati is the dynamic aspect of the same Absolute, and their union is the night of Shivratri. It’s so beautiful, their presentation, and yet the truth is that they are One. That is why in India I like the representation of what is called ‘Ardhnareshwar.’ One portrait, one sculpture, half and half. It’s almost like Yin and the Yang, representing non-phenomenal and the phenomenal as OneSelf. Shiva himself, in his form as Parvati, has been playing with her toenails [Smiles] saying ‘This is all that I am’. We can look at one tiny aspect of this existence and limit ourself to just that. And that Self is having a conversation with ItSelf. Consciousness is having a conversation with Consciousness, remaining ItSelf.

This is just a fallacy; just an idea that you have; we wanted to play like this. And as the part of the play, we also set this alarm clock, this reminder to remind you that all of this is just a play. In truth You are Shiva, the Absolute.

That which is the Source of all things (that no-thing which is the Source of all things) and that no-thing where all things dissolve; which is beyond birth and death, which is beyond all appearances; that Self.

So for today you can try this experiment. Anything that bothers you about this world, just ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ it. [Smiles] I see this this; ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ And this; ‘Om Namah Shivaya.’ [Smiles] And See what really lasts.

Also, today is the beautiful day to express our gratitude to embodiment of Shiva, this entire beautiful linage of Masters starting with Arunachala who is embodiment on this earth, of the Shiva energy in whose Presence the mind automatically loses its power (if there is a little bit of faith). [Silence] And it is exactly the same thing which we feel in the Presence of my master [Sri Moojiji] my father. So much gratitude for his Presence. All of us are so blessed to have had the privilege of his Presence in our life. [Silence] Also big gratitude to Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. [Silence] Big thank you to his son (who is like our grandfather) Sri Poojaji. Thank you Guruji for loving us to experience this Shiva, the absolute Self.

Actually, one moment of this recognition is worth lifetime of celebration. Today is a nice excuse to celebrate; just one moment of tasting non-taste, experiencing non-experience: this Shiva.

Sangha: All love and gratitude to you, Father. We follow your footsteps, at least.

Ananta: Thank you so much.

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Be Certain of This Presence in Your Life

I want to say to all of you today, as much as I say everyday, that You are this Self. You are this Absolute. This is Your unchanging Reality.

You are this Shiva, and this world is Your dance. There is a representation of Shiva when Shiva is dancing where He has a demon under his foot sometimes (trampling the demon). Sometimes it can feel like, in the dance of Shiva, it is ‘me’ that is being trampled. [Laughter] ‘Shiva is dancing but why is He trampling me?’

You are identifying with the wrong one in the picture. [Chuckles] It is a representation of how we identify with the false and how, in the light of the Truth, this false dissolves. (Although sometimes it can feel like it is being trampled.)

You are the first cause, and You are its only effect.

[Meditative Silence]

Today is a good day to invite Shiva to dance over everything that is false. Today is a good day to remain completely open. Don’t hold anything back; don’t hide. Know that only that can be taken away from you which is not real; which is not Your true Reality.

Let’s surrender our life at the feet of the One. Whether we call the One ‘Guru’ or ‘Shiva’ doesn’t really matter. All your ‘doing’ belongs to Shiva; all your experiencing belong to Shiva.

May all praise belong to Shiva.

May all blame belong to Shiva.

May all desires be Shiva’s.

May all aversions be also His.

May nothing remain which is mine.

Let there be no ‘me’ …, only Shiva.

[Meditative Silence]

Be certain that as you invite this Presence into Your Heart, into Your life, be certain that it will come. And as much as possible, remember: You are not the one that is being trampled. You are the dancer Himself.

Let’s all sit in Silence, enjoying the blessings and the Presence of Shiva, the Satguru, which is so palpable.

[Meditative Silence]

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Meet Everything with as Much Spaciousness as Possible

[Squeaky mic sound in the room] [Ananta Chuckles]

This is a good experiment for what I was going to say. What I’m saying is that as we come to Satsang, were learning how to meet everything in life with as much spaciousness as possible. Now, I don’t want to say meet it completely as space because that also becomes then an expectation, resistance. So, with as much spaciousness as possible.

There may be some events which are appearing in front of us and it may seem like when they are happening that all our attention is sucked into that. But it is never true that you are contained in any event. But it can seem like it. As we are not believing our interpretation about that, as we are not buying what our mind is saying about that, naturally more spaciousness will come. Naturally you will find the spaciousness that is there actually.

It’s the same thing with thoughts. If you meet them as space, then…? You see? If you meet them as somebody who wants them, or meet them as somebody who needs them, that’s why they cause trouble.

What if you were to meet everything as space?

And spaciousness is one of the primary attributes of Consciousness. Because it is so unlimited, it is naturally that which contains all things. So, this big space, unlimited sense of Beingness, is naturally what You Are in this moment. And when the mind comes and says ‘But me, but me’ just allow it to come and go in Your own space. ‘But this can’t be it.’ Just allow it to come and go in Your spaciousness. ‘But this doesn’t help anything.’ Just allow it to come and go in Your own spaciousness. ‘Have I got it?’ Allow it to come and go in Your spaciousness.

Because we can hear about position-less-ness every day…

[Checking about the mic sound, asking the sound man]: Is it still there? Sound is still bad? Allow it. [Laughter in the room] Still bad? Is it manageable?

So, what I was saying is that we speak about position-less-ness; this position-less-ness is actually this full spaciousness. When I say this notionless existence, we are taking about this full spaciousness. And you all know this by now (at least as a concept) because in the last so many weeks at least once I talked about this. And yet you’re noticing the habit to take on positions despite hearing about position-less-ness, notionlessness. And this is why we have Satsang every day because I know that this habit has been nurtured and nourished by Consciousness Itself for a long time in the play. That’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] says that Satsang is a rehab for God, by God. Consciousness Itself is playing this game. Consciousness Itself is identifying as a limited one. Consciousness Itself is coming in this aspect in the form of the Master and reminding Itself that it is not limited and that nothing has ever happened to It.

The ‘you’ to which anything has ever happened is not the real You.

All our grievances, they belong to nobody.

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And as long as we continue to make portraits of this ‘me’ and add on special qualities to this ‘me’ …, (Oh, this me is not the doer, this me is like this, this me is like that’) it is still a fallacy. There is no ‘me’ like this. There is no individual ‘I’.

So, if what is happening in Satsang is that you’re getting some special additional things to add to the ‘me’ …, if that is what is happening, then better we start fresh.

I am saying there is no landing space for any of this, there is no landing spot; there is just appearances moving in space. The landing spot is just a belief. The ‘me’ where it lands (‘I am this way, I am that way) it’s just a notion, it’s just a concept. You See there is no such entity there. It is just presumed.

The mind will point to circumstantial evidence and say ‘No, this body is me! Why is this not me?’ And then you ask: ‘So, out of your last five problems, how many were related to the body?’ Money? Body doesn’t care about it. Relationship? Body doesn’t recognize another. Health of the body? The body itself is not concerned with it. And our most powerful concept at this time: Freedom. Definitely the body has no notion about it, it is just an innocent instrument sitting here. ‘You have to become free!’ [Laughing] I find no chains.

You see, to use the appearance of the sensations called the body as evidence of the ‘me’ is pure fallacy. Because all the things that you seem to care about, the body wants nothing to do with.

So, who is that one who wants freedom?

When you go looking for this one, you naturally find this great Spaciousness instead. And when you’re finding this spaciousness, the mind is saying ‘I’m finding nothing, I’m finding nothing.’

Where are you roaming to find nothing? You say ‘I look, I look, I look; I find nothing.’ What is the space in which you look? You say ‘I look inside.’ I say ‘Inside what? You don’t know anything. You say ‘I look inside.’ I say ‘Inside what?’ You say ‘I’m looking inside the body.’ But if you were looking inside the body, you would find flesh, blood, bones, all these kinds of things.

What is this inside that you’re looking in?

Does this outside appear outside this inside?

You say ‘I’m looking inside’ …, does this outside appear outside this inside? It doesn’t. That’s why I’m saying don’t trust this mind; it knows nothing. It’s just speaking a lot of nonsense and we keep buying into these stories. And the biggest nonsense is that ‘I must be a limited entity somewhere.’ Nobody has found this one. The prize has gone up over these four years [of Satsang] from $100 to $1000 to $2000 for anybody who can produce this ‘person’. Nobody has done it because there is no such entity. There is nobody like this. This me is just a notion.

How long? Have you not had enough? ‘But what about me? What’s in it for me? When will I be free? What are you doing to me?’

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Out of 7 billion, 6.99999999 billion will have some offering to help the ‘me’. I have nothing for this. But I have something for You. If you take off the mask of ‘me’ you will See this. But if you keep going with this maha mantra of the ego ‘What’s in it for me?’ there is just nothing here for this ‘me’.

Everything is catering to the non-existent one. It is only in Satsang that you are being reminded of the truly Existent one. Only in Satsang are you hearing, God is Here.

You don’t have to get to God, You are It. This is the only Existent Being.

And in fact, you’re being reminded that:

Even before this I Am, You Are.

Even before Consciousness, this Absolute-You-Are.

And it is completely clear and apparent to You, Right Now (no matter what your mind is saying).

This Truth is not such a weak Truth that it goes away.

It is always just Here.

You Are It.

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Satsang Isn’t ‘Self-Help’ for the Personal

So, if you say ‘Help me’ can we make a deal now? [Chuckles]

The deal is that my job then is just to remind you of what You really Are.

Or should I also get in to this; ‘self-help’ …, so called ‘self-help’ programs? [Sangha smiles] The ‘me-help programs’ in the world are called ‘self-help programs.’ [Chuckles] The ‘Self-help programs’ are called ‘Satsang.’ [Smiles]

Because many times, what is happening is that when you say ‘Help me’ and I say ‘Okay, let’s find out what’s happening to you. Who are you in reality?’ You say ‘No, no, no, that is fine; but help ‘me.’

[Smiles]

[Sanga laughing]

Because you have been in Satsang so long, many of you are also saying ‘I don’t want to come to you now because I know what you are going to say anyway; and when I look then I will find what you are saying is true.’ [Sangha laughing] I have heard this often, over the last few weeks. ‘I just don’t want to come to you because you will just say ‘Who are you? When I look, I find that that doesn’t really help me.’

[Smiles] [Sangha laughs]

What to do?

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The Biggest Gift I Have to Give

The biggest gift I have for you is to show you: God takes birth within You. The unlimited Being is an aspect of You.

Satsang conversations sometimes are a bit like this. I am saying ‘You have just been appointed the king of the Universe.’ [Smiles]. ‘You have just been appointed as the king of the Universe, the Queen of the Universe’ and you are saying ‘But what is going to happen to my cat?’ [Chuckles]

Are you hearing what I am saying? ‘You have been appointed the Queen of the Universe.’ [Smiles] ‘But will I find a cat sitter?’ [I say]: ‘All of this play is in service to Your joy.’ [Smiles] ‘But who is going to feed my cat?’

And by no means am I saying any of this to create any sort of sense of guilt or un-worthiness, or to say that you are doing this wrong. I am just pointing to this; the play of this Consciousness speaking with Consciousness and what it sounds like.

I am completely aware of how it plays, how it seems to play. Because here also for many years it was like this before I met Guruji [Sri Mooji]. I had read Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi], Nisargadatta Maharaj and many, many Sages. I felt like something is resonating. But just this notion ‘What it’s in for me? What am I getting? Have I got it or not?’ I felt it hard to shake off.

This ‘me’ is everywhere. Even on zoom, [online format used for Satsang] it says ‘Ananta, Host (comma) me.’ [Smiles] The notion of the ‘me’ is everywhere. The reality of the ‘me’ is not to be found. But Your True Reality is always Here.

All of you, 100% of you, have seen that empty of the mask, empty of concept, there is no separation. No separate limited ‘me’ has ever existed. You see that in this moment, if you check. It is just a seeming-hypnosis from the mind which convinces us ‘Come, come, I have something very special, follow me.’ Then Consciousness gives its assent to this idea as part of this play.

But now Consciousness is reminding Itself that this play does not make a scratch, does not make a dent, on the Reality on Consciousness. And That which is aware of this dynamic aspect of this pure Consciousness is so beyond any of this, that even the notion of being affected by any appearence is beyond laughable.

That is why I have been asking you: What are you representing when you say ‘I’?

What are you representing?

Why are you discriminating?

Why you only representing some sensation?

Why don’t you also represent the space in which the sensations are coming?

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And still, why don’t you represent also that which witnesses even this space?

Represent Your entirety.

Check this for yourself

When the ‘I’ is being represented, are you only representing some sensations, some perceptions? Why don’t you also represent the space in which they come?

Are they outside? Is this space outside of You?

Why don’t you also represent which witnesses all of this?

That which is aware of all of this, is that separate form you?

So, if it is You, represent the whole of You.

Give assent to Your entirety.

Otherwise, if somebody comes to you with problem and says ‘I just believe I’m my toenail. This toenail hit against a door the other day and it is paining.’ Then everything is about the toenail. What about the rest of You?

Admit that that it can feel like all this is also me. Forget about illusion, forget about appearance, forget about it. All of this is also fine.

What about the rest of You?

Where is the perceiver of all of this?

Is it outside You?

That which perceives all of these phenomena, is it outside of You?

The Witness, the Sakshi, of all appearances, at what distance is it from You?

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Awareness Has No Attributes or Qualities

In Your Existence, all of these perceptions (including this voice that you are hearing now) …, in the space of Your Existence, all these perceptions and sensations are appearing and disappearing.

Who is aware even of this?

Is that also a perception or sensation?

And yet it is You. You Are aware un-deniably. You might deny in words, but even that denial does not hold good. Because even that means that if you say ‘I am unaware’ you will only be saying ‘I am aware that I am unaware.’ So, that you are aware is undeniable. And this You that is aware is neither a sensation or a perception or a concept.

Is this one coming and going?

Are the sensations, the perceptions, the concepts coming and going?

So, if all the sensations, perceptions and concepts coming and going…, (so far, we have represented ‘I’ to be these sensations and concepts) …, but you are finding this greater You which is aware of all of these (and yet it is unchanging and it does not come and go) …, then you are discovering your greater truth, isn’t it? Something beyond the coming and going of sensations.

And as you are discovering this, some of you will feel many things and some of you will feel nothing. But what you are Seeing is that That which is aware of feeling continues to remain untouched by it. So, you don’t have to again refer the appearance of some sensations and feelings as a bench mark.

If you say that ‘I feel nothing’ you are saying that ‘I am aware that there is no sensation of feeling.’ If you say that ‘I feel like my entire world is burning’ you are saying that ‘I am aware that all these sensations are on fire.’

That which is aware…, nothing is happening to That in either case.

So, who are you representing?

Just five sensations among the million?

Include all the sensations.

Just the sensations and not the space in which they appear?

Include the space also.

Just all perceptions, sensations and space?

Include the witness also.

Now, say something from Here.

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Where Are You Witnessing All of This From?

The source of all confusion (and suffering is nothing but confusion) …, the source of all of it is only the mistaken identity. We identify with something that doesn’t exist and has never existed. And actually, we might even say that we have to change our ID, [Chuckles] to change our identification to the right one. But we don’t even have to do that. We only have to drop that which is false. Actually, [Smiles] we don’t even have to do that…, because it is already gone.

So then, what is left…, if the source of all confusion, all suffering, is mistaken identity and we don’t even have to drop it? Because what You are, just Now, is not this identity. You don’t have any identity Right Now.

But within the content of this Now, we seem to play this game; the game of identification. So, what we are doing in Satsang is coming to clarity about what is Here, just Now. (And we can explore what term describes this best a little later.) First, we come to the exploration of what is just Here. And then you can tell me whether it is a person or whether it is God.

This exploration is the inquiry. It is nothing difficult, nothing complicated. Just: What is Here? Let’s see what we find.

Q:What is here? There is just ‘I’

A:There is just ‘I.’

A:That ‘I’ …, does it include this voice which you are hearing? What are the boundaries of this one?

What are the attributes of this ‘I’?

Let me go step by step. Let’s start with something which seems very basic. All of these appearances are here; this body is here, this table is here, this computer is here and this voice is being heard. All of this is here.

So, where are all of these? In this apparent space. (I am going really slowly) In this apparent space.

Where is all of these appearances and space perceived? Are they perceived within you? Or outside?

(The perception of all appearance, which includes the appearances of thoughts, memory, imagination, physical sensations.)

So, there must be a space within You that perceives, that experiences, even this space in which all appearances are coming and going.

And within all these appearances, sensations and perceptions, are there some special ones that contain an entity called ‘me’? Find out if any sensation contains a personal entity.

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Also check where are you witnessing all of this from? What is the location of this witness?

And what does this witness look like? How does the witness appear to itself?

And if this witness has no appearance, how do you know that there is a witness?

(Don’t give these questions to the mind. That will be extremely torturous.) Look for yourself, who is looking? What is witnessing all that is Seen?

No interpretation or judgment is needed. No answer is needed.

What is the witness of all things? Is there a witness?

Q: Witnessing is there, but we can’t find that one who is witnessing.

A: [Repeats] Witnessing is there, but we can’t find that one who is witnessing.

And how do we know that witnessing is there?

Q: Because we know; we are seeing it.

A: Do you see it? What sees it? What witness even this?

Q: Behind something is there. Even if I try to see the witness, even that is also witness.

A: Yes. The ‘I’ that tries to see the witness, is that the witness?

Q: Because I cannot find the witness as it is.

A: The ‘I’ who can’t find the witness is found?

Q: There is no such ‘I’ that is seen. Only witnessing is seen.

A: Then who found that the witness is not found?

Q:It is the witness. We cannot objectively see or perceive it.

A:We cannot objectively perceive.

This Knowing is not a subject of perception.

This Knowingness is beyond concepts and percepts; beyond ideas and perception.

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The Two Main Paths to Neutralize Beliefs

Q: How do you drop beliefs?

A:Two ways. This is ‘the main two paths in Satsang’. So, belief is what? ‘I am something’. So, just being Here as ‘I Am’ it is effortless; You just Are. Isn’t it? Your Existence Here Now is effortless; You just Are. But to play as ‘something’ is tiring, isn’t it? ‘I have to be this way; have to be that way’ and as that ‘something’ which is tiring. This ‘something-ness’ can only be attached to You with belief. Can you play as ‘something’ without believing anything?

So how to withdraw belief from this ‘something’ notion is to first (if your temperament is like that) just let it go and let it be the Master’s problem; God’s problem. This is the path of surrender. Everything’ that the mind is offering you: ‘Father’s problem.’ That is surrender. You don’t even have to say ‘Father’s problem’. Just saying that it’s just nothing to do with you. ‘My Father has to deal with it; he is dealing with it.’ That is surrender.

Second is if the temperament is not like that; it’s more inquiry or inquisitive; it says ‘I have to find freedom.’ Then you pull that into your inquiry and say ‘Who is here that has to find freedom?’ And if you look without judgment, without any preconceived notions, you find that there is no such entity here that is bound. So, then the notion ‘I want Freedom’ does not apply. You see that the ‘I’ that wants freedom just doesn’t exist. So, there is nothing to believe in that. It’s like saying ‘Your flight to Finland got cancelled.’ Your mind is saying ‘Your flight to Finland got cancelled.’ You say’ I have no flight to Finland.’ [Chuckles] You find that one that had the flight doesn’t exist, so then this thought cannot bother you; cannot get attached to ‘I Am’. You do not play as if ‘I Am something’.

So, what happens if you buy the thought ‘I want freedom’ then what you are believing about yourself is that ‘I am the seeker’.

The ‘I Am’ which was effortless and notionless and boundary-less, limitless, that itself picks up the notion ‘I am a seeker’ and that itself is a very limiting identity, isn’t it? It draws a boundary around you.

So ‘I am a seeker’…, it’s all Satguru’s problem; Father’s problem. Or ‘What are you talking about; I don’t find this one who is a seeker at all. I don’t find the one who is bound.’ So, you notice that these thoughts do not apply to You. It’s a wrong number. Somebody calls you and you realize its wrong number and he keeps talking all sort of gibberish. Does it cause suffering? Only to the extent that it can sound annoying [Chuckles] but not as ‘I have go there, I have to do this, I have to be a fighter, I have to be a bodhi, I have to be more devoted’.’ All these are the things of seeker identity. You see it is a wrong number, because the ‘I ‘to whom it is speaking does not exist.

That is inquiry. As you see that none of this has anything to do with you, belief is not going to it. As you make it all God’s problem, belief is not going there.

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That’s why Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi prescribed these two paths: surrender and inquiry. It’s all for this. All of spirituality is for this.

But most of spirituality is about the sadhana which is needed, the practice which is needed, to prevent attention from going to these notions. So, instead of attention going to what the mind is saying, bring your attention to your breath. [Demonstrates inhale; exhale] like that. We try to force our attention, keep it to the breath, there’s no chance of any notion. Instead of attention going to these notions, attention can go to a mantra (if that is the path). [Chants ‘Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram’] Those paths which are working on the attention-aspect of it, those are the sadhana oriented paths, the practice-oriented paths. Those paths which are working on belief-oriented aspects of it, those are more the surrender-oriented paths; for letting go.

Within five minutes, all of you found that primarily (or at least, the most unchangingly) You are That which witnesses all that is changing.

And yet, we started to explore ‘How is it that this One (which we primarily are) can play as if it is a limited object, contained within another limited object, which is made up of what I call ‘the bucket of flesh and blood’ …, as if you are a tiny object, contained within this bucket of flesh and blood? That’s how most of the humanity seems to be spending their time, spending their life, and having no investigation about ‘Is there really something called a ‘me’ contained in any of this?’ The minute we start to explore this, we see that it cannot be. There just isn’t. Nobody has found this.

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The Truth Doesn’t Need Any Pre-Conditions

The truth does not need any pre-conditions. It’s only the false which needs pre-conditions. What is the pre-condition? That there must be a perception of an object and there must be an interpretation of this perception, which is belief. So, what sounds like more hard work? The false. The truth is most natural. The false is lot of effort.

But I’m well aware that when effort has become a habit, then effort starts feels like it is effortless, and coming to rest initially can feel like a bit of effort. That is why even Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said as long as you feel like you have to make the effort to come to the recognition of who you are, make that effort. It does not mean that he didn’t realize that it is coming to the effortlessness. He also explained that it is keeping the heavy bag down, which for many can seem like effort, whereas actually the effort is in carrying it all the time. The burden of personhood is actually an effort.

Effort from what perspective? From the sense that it is the one which consumes energy. The energy is needed for You to believe YourSelf to be something limited. But to See that You are not anything limited at all does not need anything, including energy.

Now, don’t get this notion that ‘Oh, Consciousness is getting tired because It’s expending all this energy.’ [Smiles] It’s never true like that. God is an unlimited reservoir of energy. [Smiles] You know, sometimes we’ve used these terms: ‘Now you are tired of playing game.’ That is just the design of alarm clock. God is never tired. [Chuckles] When It’s done with the game, It is done with the game.

It just says ‘Come back to better place.’ Like you’ve been hanging out at some new place and then you make a new friend who says ‘Hey, what are you guys doing here? Come, come; no effort. I will show this other place, and this is so much more fun.’ [Smiles] So, I am this new friend you are making.

‘What are you doing hanging out here, in the realm of personhood?

Come, I will show you a better Reality of Your own Self.

You are God, God is Here, God is Now.’

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Awareness is the Same, No Matter What It is Aware ‘Of’

That is a very important point, because many times even when I have asked ‘Are you aware now?’ then you say ‘I can only see this because I am aware OF something.’

How many have said that? …, ‘I can only say I am aware because I am aware OF.’

So, then you say ‘How do we know what ‘aware’ is?’

Because when we say ‘I am walking on the street’ we know what is walking and street is. We say ‘I am sitting on the chair’ because we know what sitting is and chair is.

When we say ‘Are you aware now?’ you say ‘I am aware now only because I know the [aware] OF.’

No, you know this ‘aware’ very, very primly…, but you don’t know it phenomenally.

(I wonder if these words are reaching somebody?) [Chuckles]

We are comfortable because phenomenal concepts sitting, standing and walking, you know this; sitting on the chair, standing on the road, walking on the street. We know both these concepts phenomenally.

When you ask ‘Am I aware?’ [the reply comes] ‘I might not be actually aware. But there is a chair, so that chair makes me aware.’ Something like this.

But how do you know what ‘aware’ is?

Does somebody teach you to be aware?

We were taught to stand, we were taught to sit, we were taught to walk, and we were taught to talk.

What taught us to be aware?

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Nothing Has Ever Really Happened to Consciousness

A:The beautiful part about this is that these truly spiritual notions are atomic. So, when you say

‘the unchanging’ you are right that it can feel like ‘I have to find something which is unchanging and yet phenomenal.’ And yet, you will never find it on this side of the ‘I Am’. [The side where I Am attaches to the phenomenal viewpoint of ‘I am something’.] You will never find the unchanging on this side of the ‘I Am’. You have to pass this portal of Being. As you taste Your Being, you find ‘Ah, the unchanging.’ But ultimately even this is changing. [The ‘I Am’ disappears in deep sleep.]

What is aware of even this?

Then you see the atomic potential of these notions; the unchanging, the one witness. All of these atomic notions in Vedanta are provided because you will not find the answers to those in any phenomena.

Q: So, in a way it is like…, it is just a point of view.

A:Yes, this world (this apparent world) is just dancing to the tunes of your inner longing. So, if the longing that Consciousness is playing with is to experience Its individuality, there is as much sugar and spice in this world to play as the limited one. So, everything can seem to point a limited ‘you’ also. But when the longing changes, in the quality of the play…, it’s like Consciousness wants to change the channel. ‘I am going to this limited play to play as Consciousness Itself.’ It can seem like ‘Oh, the same stuff is actually pointing to the Reality of Me.’

Q: In both of them, Consciousness never changed in any way.

A:Yes, both of them. The disillusion is also just a delusion that Consciousness is playing. The dissolution of the delusion is also the play of Consciousness. Nothing has ever really had happened to Consciousness.

252

Nothing is Relevant to the Truth of What You Are

[Reading from chat]: “Father, is it right to say that ‘I am aware’ can’t be grasped by mind at all?’ It feels like this realm of time and space is the only thing that the mind knows.”

A:Yes. Because what is the mind? It is only an interpret of phenomena. It can pose as if it is Satguru. [Chuckles] It can pose as if it knows everything. So, initially, if you are new to Satsang, many times when we talk about Awareness, the mind is also trying to present itself as the master, using that which is boundless. And the mind is active at that time, painting this visual of boundless, black space or something like that. It will say ‘See you are that. I can give it you. I can offer it to you.’ But even then, what is aware of that painting of unlimited black space or white light or something? It tries to be a collaborator, so that it can have some place in all of this. But what it is offering up is just photo-copies, Xerox copies, of what is being shared.

What your true insight (which is a deeper, intuitive Knowingness about the Truth) the mind can’t keep up with that at all. It we may give it some points for trying [Smiles]. It does try. Consciousness has designed this one to be very persistent. [Smiles] It doesn’t not give up. ‘An unlimited, unchanging reality. Let me paint this. Beautiful.’ We might be visualizing some white light, some big dark space. And that is when that still dissociation between Awareness and I can happen. Because if you just took a visual representation of it, of the Self from the mind, it will say ‘Ah, nothing will happen to that… but what about me?’

That is why I asked ‘What is aware of even this Awareness?’ Because you might be taking it as a representation of Awareness, not Awareness Itself. But when you look at that question ‘What is aware of this Awareness?’ then the mind starts to struggle; because it painted this painting of big black nothing-ness; empty space. And then ‘What is aware?’ What? How will it go beyond that? [Smiles] That is why I mention this mental conception, mental visualization. Then you will come and say ‘Actually, I have not understood anything you have ever said.’ I know many of you have said that. ‘I have not understood anything. Maybe I have not got it. I felt like, oh…’ Because for long time, it can feel like as it is being spoken, the collaborator (the seeming-collaborator, but actually distracter) has been playing with these images and saying’ Yes, I am seeing, I am seeing.’ What is aware of even your deepest insight? That which you feel like is your deepest insight, what is aware of that?

[Someone says: I have no idea.]

A:‘I have no idea.’ [Smiles] That is a beautiful moment actually. Because all our visualization, all our conceptualization, all our imaginations have no place now to go; nothing left which it can be held on to. And for some, what for me is only good news, for them it can sound like ‘What have I been doing here? Man, it’s been three years!’ [Smiles] ‘What?’ Then you see that all of things which you have heard in Satsang (like ‘You are not a thing. You are not an object at all. Even beyond space.’) if you were to actually look, you would know that actually it has been being said here all along. The truth of what You are is so beyond being fathomable by the mind that it can surprise the best of us. [Smile] No visual, no concept, no experience; nothing is relevant to the Truth of what You Are.

253

The Easier Way to Look at the Mind

The simpler way to look at the mind is to look at it as the sub-title track. Because even to say that the mind knows something is to give it too much power. We see that also in Satsang. ‘Oh, the mind knows only this thing, the mind can only fathom this.’ But actually, it’s just like a sub-title track which the projector, the Consciousnesses, the projector on the screen of this movie Itself has put in over there.

There is not an entity called ‘mind.’ That is just another theoretical construct, a name that we use for this narrator, the sub-title guy. I used to have this example many years ago. It was Nelson Mandela’s funeral and at that time President Obama was called to make a speech. So, what happen in South Africa was that they got this sign-language expert to come, because they wanted the speech to be understood by those that couldn’t hear. But they just hired somebody, they probably didn’t check his credentials properly, they hired somebody and everybody was watching the speech. And there was something strange about the sign-language going on there. Because whatever Obama would be speaking, the translator was like… [Makes hand gestures of hands flailing about wildly] … no sound, just some strange movements; they were just repeating. And then they got lots of complaints saying ‘He was not doing sign-language at all. [Smiles] He was just some fake guy who took the money from Government to come there and make an appearance. So, this interpreter, the mind, is like that. It is just coming up with this interpretation [Flails his hand around like before] about this. It has nothing to do with Reality. It is just that it is so animated, so authoritative in its voice, that it can seem like ‘Oh, this is truly my reality.’

That is why I say that as we live through this lens of this mind, it can feel like we are living this very incipient photocopy sort of life. Already, it’s so contained. We meet somebody for the first time and the mind is already started ‘Oh, he looks like this, he has not cut his hair.’ [Chuckles] Something, something. By the time we come close and are saying hello, we already have an idea of what we are meeting.’ Instead of meeting that phenomenal appearance fresh, we are meeting even the phenomenal appearance in a Xerox photocopy way. This is the interpreter. Through the lens of the interpreter; he makes this life seems so limited, and so insipid. Instead of just saying ‘I don’t know.’ Actually, even Now [Smiles]. For example, you don’t know whether you study single word from now or not, isn’t it? We don’t actually know. So, none of us know anything about the next five minutes, the next two minutes, the next one minute. We don’t know. And this ‘I don’t know’ has been a scary notion because we have considered ourselves to be limited object in this world.

You are recognizing Now that You are boundless, You are shore-less; You are that shore-less ocean. These lines [from Ashtavakra Gita] that just stay with me are so beyond anything available phenomenally. ‘You are that shore-less ocean in which the arcs of the universe, they come and go.’ So strong; so mind blowing. ‘You are that shore-less ocean in which the arcs of the universe, they come and go.’ As you are coming to insight about this, then this fear of ‘What is going to happen to me? What is the next moment going to bring?’ …, as this drops away, as this not given much belief, then we meet life with so much openness. Whatever it can bring, let it bring.

254

I Give You the Greatest Gift

I have to expose some trick of the mind. And I am going to paraphrase a little bit from the conversations we’ve had over the last couple of days. The content of the conversation is somewhat like this: ‘Father, if I let go all notions, then without having any notion, will I continue to be a student? Without having any notion, can I continue to be a good wife? Without having any notion …, something’. And of course, the answer is: All things are completely possible in Consciousness so there is no reason why Consciousness cannot enact the role of being a good student, a good wife, if that is how Consciousness wants to play.

But notice the subtle trickery from the mind. It says ‘I am letting go of all notions.’ But actually, what I am saying is ‘I am letting go of all notions except the notion of this question: Will I be this way or not?’ That is still a notion.

Then I was saying how Guruji [Sri Mooji] talks about this fear that would come to him as he was coming to the recognition of his Reality. This fear, this notion, would come to him: ‘But you could just become like a beggar on the street. You will become a hunchback like Quasimodo [fictional character from the novel ‘The Hunchback of Notre-Dame’] and you will be begging on the street.’ These kinds of notions can still be there. And he talks about that these were let go of.

So, what I am talking about is the checker guy being very, very subtle. ‘Yes, yes, I am not going to be attached to doing of any of that, but still I am still going to keep one eye on you, okay? …, and just check how is it going.’ And that is how this manifestation of the mind (the role of the mind in the form of not posing so much as the doer so much, but now as the checker) comes. ‘Now, as I am letting go of notions, how is it going to happen for me?’ or ‘What is happening to me?’ But these are also notions.

One time I remember [Chuckles] I was speaking to someone in the sangha, on the zoom or the hangout, and she said ‘Ananta, I have been a psychotherapist for fifteen years and I am afraid to let go because I fear that I won’t be on time and I’ve never missed an appointment in fifteen years. I am so good, I am so diligent. I am so good at keeping up with what my patients need and want from me. But I am afraid of letting go.’ So, I told her that the fear is that if we let go, then God cannot run this life. He’s just going to make mess of it. [Chuckles]. So, you know what she said the next day? She said ‘I am very upset with you [Chuckles] because actually I let go of everything and for the first time in fifteen years, I was late for an appointment (or I forgot an appointment).’ [Laughs] So, God did make a mess of it.

This is what I mean by ‘the checker guy’. We let go, presumably let go, of all notions; still checking on how God is doing. [Chuckles] We let go. We surrendered all the doing. But we still presume the experiencer-ship to be ours. This is what I usually call ‘half-surrender’. We surrendered the doer-ship, but we have surrendered it conditionally. Like we’ve been hearing in the Satsang the last few weeks that ‘I trust you, I trust you Guru; Satguru, I trust you, but make sure it goes my way.’ The words are not like this, but the feeling, the intent behind the sentence seems to be that.

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Notionlessly actually means: just being the simple, effortless Knowing of Your Existence, effortlessly Aware of ‘I Am’ …, without any translation, interpretation or judgment.

That is why, actually, it is enough to say ‘Don’t go with any interpretation or judgment.’ Because the first part is effortless. To be ‘with’ also is not true because You Are That. So, just to be That simple Awareness, which is even aware of your own Existence, is what is just undeniable and unavoidable. It just IS that way. It is only our belief in concepts, only our identification with ideas, which makes it feel like (seem like) there is some separation that has happened.

And notice the tricks of the mind will change. For many of you they are changing. Going from ‘What do I have to do? What do I desire?’ to ‘Now that I have given up, I have let go of these ideas about myself, how am I doing? How is God treating me?’ These are also notions.

Even ideas about ‘Am I able to remain notionless?’ is a notion. ‘How notionless have I been yesterday?’ [Chuckles] You don’t need that answer. You don’t need that question. What is Now is independent of yesterday. Yesterday came and went in this Now. This Now remains untouched by it.

So, all the crutches are getting thrown away now. It’s like Guruji’s beautiful video where he says ‘You need no stick.’ He actually stood up in the middle of Satsang and he is like ‘You come to me pretending as if you need this stick. I am going to kick that stick.’ [Chuckles] You remember this one? Look it up. It says ‘Mooji, no stick’ on YouTube. It’s a very nice one. I recommend everyone should watch it. It was very alive and animated and it yet so beautifully pointing to this very same thing. You need no crutches, no ideas, no notions. And you definitely don’t need your report card. You are just troubling yourself with these reports about yourself.

This natural, effortless Awareness is just Here. It needs no stick, it needs no crutches. You are naturally Aware of this Being, this light of this world. That is why…, [Smiles] I am a strange one. Because I give you the greatest gift…, but funnily when you get that gift, you will say ‘But I always had this.’ This is my gift. Just to see what You always had; what You always were actually and You always will Be.

Soon enough, what will seem more challenging is to try and pose as if You are not that. For many of you it is already starting to happen like this. Because for many of you, many times it can happen like ‘Today I have to come up and speak to Father about something.’ Then you come up [Chuckles] and I can see the effort you’re having to make to pick up that idea you wanted to discuss; because automatically it is gone, naturally for you.

So, you are recognizing the naturalness of this. You are recognizing how much energy has gone in the play of individuality.

256

The Non-Existent Ego Wants to Be King of the Universe

I was just saying the other day, what you are finding is (or what I am telling you is): You are the Lord of this Universe. Every ray of light, every stream of sound, everything that hears here, every blade of grass, is in service to You.

And usually what I hear in response is that ‘But how would I feed my cat?’

That is why I keep telling you; I am like now forcing it that it’s good news. [Smiles] The good news now I have for you is this.

I know actually what the trouble also, is that the non-existent ego, that one wants to become the king of the Universe. The non-existent can never be. The only existent One is already That.

So, like the prodigal son we struggle, struggle, and struggle, to become as great as the Father. But when we meet the Father, we realize that we are the Father.

What a funny thing. [Smiles] Such a struggle to make something which has no tangible existence into something great. And yet, all the while, being in denial of what already IS. No wonder this is called maya, the great divine delusion.

257

If Aversion is There, Just Don’t Pick Up a Notion

[Reading from Chat]: “Father how should we be in situations which provoke aversion? For example, I don’t like bars and cigarette smoke.”

That is the beauty of what I am saying. We are not talking about the appearance of, or disappearance of, the renouncing or the picking up of any phenomena at all. We are just talking about not picking the limited notion of ‘me’.

And no appearance is capable enough to make us believe in our limitation. It is only our thoughts, only our interpretation. As we become neutral to our mind, as we become open to allow these thoughts to come and go, then naturally this outer shell (this coconut, as I call it) could flow as to stay away from cigarette smoke and bars. [Smiles]

I know some of you want to hear ‘Or not.’ [Chuckles] ‘Or not.’

What is it that Ashtavakra said? ‘I am the one solitary witness of all there is’ (I am paraphrasing) ‘forever untouched by all appearances. What is there for me to accept or renounce?’

Now, this does not sound helpful at all to the mind. Because it only understands opposites. ‘Should I do this or not do this? Should I have a desire for it or an aversion for it?’ But neutrality, the neutrality I am speaking of, is just conceptual neutrality; not taking a conceptual position about anything.

Outwardly, it might seem like the play of differences is happening.

But inwardly, there is just silence.

258

You Don’t Need to Get Rid of Grief, Just the Notions About Grief

[Reading from Chat]: “Father, I can’t get past the grief. It is constantly there. Please help.”

Actually, you don’t have to get past the grief. You have to get past the notion that you have to get past the grief. [Silence] Grief is there. And it will remain in Consciousness only as long as it is Your will, as long as it is the will of Consciousness to be. Nothing can force Consciousness into experiencing anything at all. As the Sages have said ‘Not one blade of grass can move without the will of Consciousness.’

So, as you lose the notion that ‘I have to get past the grief’ you will discover Your own spaciousness in which grief is just another appearance. That same space in which there is grief, there is also this voice which is heard. The voice of your Presence, the voice of your intuition is also there. It might seem to come from the outer form of the Guru or it might be heard within YourSelf, but it’s all in the same space.

This, where the grief is, is also where all appearances are. You don’t have to ‘get past’ any of this. Allow all of this to come and go, as is the will of Consciousness. Because what happens usually in the play of Consciousness is that as you keep saying ‘I have to get over this, I shouldn’t have this anymore, I’m done with this; when will this go?’ All of this can actually play a part in keeping that activated, or keeping that central to your attention.

Okay, grief is there. Am I also there? Or no? If you feel that if there’s the simple space to check on this, then you will find that, as the substratum of the grief itself, that Substratum, that Presence, that Divinity will never leave you, It always has been. For this Presence, this Divinity…, nothing is in opposition to It. It is not resisting anything at all. Everything is a child of It. Nothing exists without It. And this ‘It’ is Your very Presence, Your very Existence.

[Reading from chat]: You say “Grief is continually there. I’m so tired. The Awareness is gone.”

It can feel like this, I know this. When there is strong grief and it can feel like this. But this is never true. Even when you say ‘Grief is continually there’ what you’re saying is ‘I’m just continually Aware of my grief.’ Without your Awareness, without You being Aware, nothing can be. So, for everything, the mind makes it sound like it is upside-down. Because You are Aware, there can be some content which is perceived. You are Aware of perception. Not even grief can exist without the play of this attention which leads to what we call perception and Your Awareness of this perception.

When you check: ‘Where is this grief?’ you will see that it is inside You. Then if I ask you ‘Where is this voice being heard?’ You will say ‘Also inside Me.’ All perceptions, all sensations, are within You. This You which contains all of this is just an aspect of You. You are the content of it, You the space of it, You are the perception of it and You are That which is Aware even of this perception. It is only an idea about YourSelf that is engulfed by grief.

259

Meeting YourSelf is Being YourSelf

We come to Satsang to, presumably, to meet the Self; for the recognition of the Self. Whether we call it recognition, realization…, it’s about the Self. [Silence] So how would we meet our Self? Maybe it’s important for us to experiment with how do we meet another. How do you meet another? Before you can meet another, what all has to be there? There have to be two; you have to be there and the other has to be there. And how will you confirm that another is there?

Q: Experience. Whatever experience you may feel.

A:Okay. So, let’s break it down…, what do we mean by experience?

Q:From sensory…

A:Perception, sensory input. We perceive the seeming-other. So, in this way we can meet all sorts of other objects. Is there something which is not an object that we can meet through the senses? [Silence] And this is important because many are trying to meet themselves as an object; at least as an objective experience if not as an object itself. But we already said that ‘Before I can meet anything at all, I have to be there’. So, this ‘I’…, what sort of meeting would this be? If to meet another you need perception, you need objects, how do you meet YourSelf?

That is why Satsang is like a strange place. Everywhere else you go, you’ll be given instructions about ‘How to meet that which you are looking for.’ If you go to a travel agent, he will tell you what Visa you need to go to America; these are the steps to get in the plane to land in America. Now, in Satsang presumably we are giving instruction on how to meet YourSelf. And I am also telling you that this is the simplest thing. Because at least to go to America, you need a Visa. To meet YourSelf, you have no condition. So, in what way can we meet our Self?

Q: Just Being.

A: By just Being the Self. But is there an option, like be YourSelf …or…? [Laughing]

Q: Cancel the meeting YourSelf.

A:Cancel the meeting itself; the concept of meeting itself falls away. Now, that is True. But…,

[Laughing] somehow it has seemed like we need Satsang to meet our Self. Therefore, we must be presuming that we have been meeting (or being) somebody else so far or something else so far. So, if the Self has nothing to meet, the concept of ‘meeting’ falls away. But presumably, when Sumeher started the spiritual journey with the aspiration to meet the Self, the cat undertook the journey wanting that ultimate bowl of milk. So, the clue is there; that perceptually, through perception, you can only meet an object. And you know very well by now that You are not an object. So, besides perception, what else do you have? [Silence]

Q: Intellect. Reason.

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A:So, using reason; perception, concepts and a deeper sort of ‘conceptual’ is this intellectual reasoning. Now, can you meet YourSelf using one of these?

Q: Also unknown.

A:So, using perception you will see that you will meet objects. Using concepts, you can only become ideas about YourSelf. [Silence] Using reasoning, you can deny all that is not You. Or you can deny what is not your Ultimate Reality, which is just an appearance using reason and say ‘Not this, because this is changing. Not this, because this is changing. Not this…’ This is reason.

What does the edge of reason tell you? …, when you run out of reason also? …, when you can’t even say ‘Not this’?

Q: [Inaudible]

A: Yes. So, if You come to this Awareness, is there a ‘you’ left who is coming to Awareness?

[Q: No.] What is left?

Q: Just Awareness.

A:And yet You are still there. Not the you that you thought YourSelf to be. So, when Guruji [Sri

Mooji] said ‘The most intimate You’ (let’s say the most unchanging You): What is the most unchanging You?

Q: This Awareness or this Knowingness.

A:This Awareness or this Knowingness ItSelf. How did you come to This? Did you have to use your perception? Did you have to use any concepts? Did you have to come to an intellectual conclusion? [Silence] Therefore, whether you take steps or don’t take steps, whether there is practice or no practice, can you ever be anything which is not This?

Q: No.

A:Is this a mental conclusion? Is it a mental conclusion or insight? [Silence]

Q:Maybe it’s both.

A:Yes. What is it reliant on? …, in the sense that if I say ‘Outside this building there is a portal’?

Now for some…, maybe if a child is born and only lived inside and never stepped outside, then it would only come from a conclusion that the parents told it, that ‘There is an I portal outside’. But once you’ve stepped out, there’s a deeper-than-conceptual, perceptual experience. Now we are talking about that which is deeper than perceptual knowing: That which Knows all perception; That which is Aware of even perception.

261

Benchmarks for Freedom are Not Applicable

Q:It takes Satsang to make us recognize. I mean, I needed to come to Satsang (or whatever made me come) to recognize this Self, to See this.

A:Yes. Why does it feel like that? It’s because, in this one, who was the I? When you say ‘I need to come to Satsang to see this’?

Q:Because the Self or which had confused ItSelf needed, like you said, an experience. But not a logical experience. It needed me to look at you and that one thing which was not experiential (experiential but not experiential in a phenomenal way). Otherwise, it would be like sitting in the room and not going out; where you are That as One.

A:So, did you come from a place of not meeting YourSelf to a place of meeting YourSelf because you came to Satsang? Or did you realize that you have only ever met YourSelf.

Q:I realized that this ‘You’ (which is this Being) this ‘Me’ that I’ve always been…, that nothing has changed in my Beingness. There isn’t being replaced by something else. But it’s the notion which …, the ‘cathood ‘ has kind-of dissolved, which can come back. But it’s known now because you made me experience something about who I am in a very powerful way, or a way which you can’t deny what you’ve actually Seen. For a long time, Father, I would try to find myself in an objective way or even an objective experience. And then something you, in sitting in all the Satsang, you pointed that ‘I’m speaking about You, It’s You I’m talking about, not something else; the same You, who is Here Now. ‘ And that made it like the ‘cow jumping over the moon’ and all the analogies we’ve been talking about. The cutting line was that it can’t be the mind, it can’t answer. The answer can’t from that mind. And then…

A:So, the ‘cathood’ as you say or the false notion about our Self doesn’t get belief and that is what we call ‘dissolved’. Isn’t it?

Q: Doesn’t get…?

A:…believed. The notion doesn’t get believed and that is what we call dissolved. The notion has dissolved. You see?

Q: Yeah.

A:It was just a notion, but what were You always?

Q:I was always this Awareness Consciousness, only.

A:Yes.

Q:… and that Presence. When I say ‘you’ the cathood is the first one that pops up out of habit. But after looking through, I-Me, the Presence, is quite empty of notions of what I was or will be or whatever. And then, it seems to be like a mental step but it brings you back faster.

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A:And that which You discovered about YourSelf or You are discovering about YourSelf, what is the qualitative nature of that discovery? Does it look like something? Does It feel like something? (The discovery itself, the recognition itself, not the by-products.)

Q: No.

A:It doesn’t look like anything. Does it have to feel like something?

Q:No.

A:And this is the part which is so important, which all of you are recognizing now.

You keep looking for some benchmark to freedom, that something physically has to change, something emotionally has to change, something at some level has to change for me to find MySelf.

263

There Is No Ego to Get Rid Of

What if the very Existence, the very Being, has always been the Existence of God? …, if it has always been the only Being there is? But somehow, as part of some strange play, some leela, we have taken this Existence to be the Existence of something smaller, something tinier, something limited. It is all ‘what if’ actually. [Smiles] Is just IS.

So, this Being, this Consciousness, playing as if it is limited then trying to find this great Being, is very convoluted. But this Being, which is naturally, effortlessly Here, is coming to this recognition that ‘This ‘I Am’ actually is all there is’ and ‘I am aware of even this.’ So, let’s use a metaphor. If you are trying to lose weight but you are eating one Samosa [Indian deep fried food] or one Pizza (whatever works for you wherever you are) every minute, then you say ‘But why am I not loosing weight?’ [Smile] This is like God-pretending-to-be-the-person-trying-to-find- God. Because every minute Consciousness, God, is believing in notion about himself, herself; including the notion of trying to find God. [Smiles] Now, the good part of this story is that you are at your perfect weight already. The perfect Being, the most enlightened ever, is already Your Being.

Are you still wanting to play with masks?

That is Your will, the will of Consciousness Itself.

And because You have this ultimate freedom to pretend to be whatever You like, that is why this play can seem to go on; but can never be without you picking up this mask. And when I speak of the play, I am not speaking about the appearance of this universe. I am speaking of the play where you pose as if you are just this body/mind entity.

In this moment, right now, nobody has a mask on. This the second great piece of great news. First is that You are already God or that God is Your very Existence.

The second is that in this very moment, there is no mask of ego that you have to get rid of.

What greater gift can I give you?

The only gift I have is this good news.

264

This is the True Openness

How to meet this God? Unavoidable. To meet this God is unavoidable because You Exist. Your Existence is Here. And You are aware of this. This Existence is the very One; the one Being which has been misunderstood as part of this leela, as part of this play, to be something just with boundaries, with birth, with death. But You are beyond all these.

As You meet YourSelf in this way, don’t take your samosa along. [Indian deep-fried food] Don’t meet yourself with interpretation, with judgment.

This is the true openness.

This is the nakedness that we speak of in Satsang.

Does this mean that the mind has to stop? No. It can come and it can go. It will give you all these offers like ‘Buy one get one free. Buy one samosa, get one free; or ten.’ [Smiles] The offers will keep changing. Just allow these offers to come and go.

So, if you feel like you have to do something then this is all that you have to do. Because in this doing itself the so-called seeming-doing of this, the concept of doer-ship itself will get extinguished.

Remain in the simple awareness of Your very Existence without any interpretation.

265

Notionlessness Does Not Mean Motionlessness

To have the darshan of your own Atma is the simplest thing in the world. In fact, you can never not have it. But it is these concepts about it, the interpretation of it, that makes it seem like you are experiencing YourSelf as something limited. As you allow YourSelf to remain notionless, you will find that this truth of Your unlimited Existence. And that which is even beyond ‘I Am’ is completely apparent to you.

Now some of you have mistaken (are mistaking) notionless-ness with motionlessness. Just one alphabet letter changed.

Notionless-ness does not mean motionlessness. The world of activity, the realm of movement, can continue to appear with all its movements; with people, events, body sensations, feelings, thoughts. All these apparent activities can continue to move.

But as long as you remain notionless, you will see that You are this Truth. Nothing could be more apparent.

Before you believe the next idea about yourself, you are already the Self. But what you will believe once you believe the idea about yourself is a notion of limitation, is an idea of limited.

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You Are Beyond This Body and Manifest Universe

The other seeming-error that many of you are making is looking at the movement of the outer shell (the ‘coconut’ as I have been calling this) and saying that ‘This coconut has to become (or feel like or think like) the ocean.’ What I’ve been saying is that we are trying to fit this insight we are having about ourselves into this body/mind contraption in some way. But that cannot happen; because the insight you are having about YourSelf is that You are much beyond this time and space, beyond this manifest universe, and this body/mind is just a tiny aspect of this manifest universe.

So, trying to fit that which is not limited to these three dimensions anyway (four dimensions including space) is an impossibility. You are dimensionless. If I have a sheet of paper and I ask you ‘Can you fill a bucket of water into this and bring it?’ It’s two dimensions, and your container is three dimensions. You cannot fill water in a sheet of paper. In the same way, this body is an object within time and space. We cannot fit the Being, which is beyond all dimensions, into this. So, this is just an aspect of this Being. But if you say ‘See, yesterday this happened to me; I did…’ (like this) then you have again mistaken the coconut to be the ocean.

So, don’t wait for the symptoms of your freedom to start appearing in the coconut. If they have to appear, they appear. That has nothing to do with Your Reality. We have a doctor here today. You don’t have to wait for the diagnostics of the coconut to confirm that timeless, space-less Being. I not telling you about something which is a happening tomorrow or in the future. I am not telling you about something that you have to find in this spatial world. When you recognize that you Exist; the basis of this recognition…, is it contained in time and space? This Existence, when you say ‘I Am’ …, is it subject to time or space? You have already left the universe. [Chuckles]. You have left the universe. In the moment of recognition, you are not in this phenomenal realm. Then you try to bring it back to this seeming-container.

So, when we say ‘Have I got it or not? Will people start recognizing me for the Truth that I’ve discovered? Why doesn’t my family see that I am free?’ [Chuckles] (things like this) you are still talking about an identification with one aspect of the play. You are seeing that the entirety of the play is just the movement of light and sound that You, YourSelf as the projector, is making. You are the light of all things; not this body. Your light animates this entire universe and the body is just one aspect of this. Your light animates the sun; there is no sun unless You Are.

So, we have believed the mind’s version of you which is this limited version, but something has not felt at home completely with that version. Nobody ever completely feels at home with the idea of just being a body. That’s why even those who don’t come to Satsang will say things like ‘I will rest only when I am dead’ or ‘I must have had this experience in my past life’. When somebody passes away, much of their world says ‘May they rest in peace.’ But if they were just a body, who was left to rest in peace? So, nobody has completely felt at home with just this notion of being the body.

267

For Practical Life, Leave It Up to the Guru

So, just some practical advice. If you’re still very concerned with the life of ‘the coconut’ [the body and ‘your’ life] then you make a list of things that should happen for this shell. Make that list and put it in the Altar of your Heart or put it on the physical Altar. For those of you with a devotional temperament, it is very simple. Just label it ‘Something for Guruji To Do’.

[Silence]

There’s a joke about marriages which I keep telling my wife. [Smiles] ‘Tell a man what to do and he’ll get it done. You don’t have to nag him every six months.’ [Laughing] Now, once you’ve told Guruji what to do, he will get it done. So, don’t keep saying ‘When? When? Why? Are we there yet?’

[Silence]

And you will be surprised actually. If you playfully do this exercise, you will be surprised. You’ll look at this list after a year or two and you will either find things where you will say ‘Thank you, Guruji. Thank you, Guruji, so much for getting this done!’ or you’ll say ‘Thank you Guruji. Thank God you didn’t do this!’. [Sangha Laughing] There will rarely be anything left of which you’d say ‘Woah, why didn’t you get this done yet?’

[Silence]

In India, we often say this; we end our prayers, our invocations, with ‘Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.’ Why do we emphasize this so much? Because there is Shanti; there is this Peace ‘Om, Shanti, Shanti, Shanti’. ‘Om Shanti’ is a prayer for Peace. So, you say ‘Let there be Peace, Let there be Peace, Let there be Peace’ because when there is Peace, the Truth of what You Are is completely apparent.

[Silence]

One time someone came to Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi and said (with some desire, so he asked Bhagavan) ‘Can you please get this done for me?’ So, Bhagavan said ‘Here? In this body? This body has nothing special to make anything happen for anyone. But the Being that You Are finding Here has got unlimited power.’ Which Being was he speaking of? Was he speaking about some special Being that only belonged to him?

[Silence]

He was speaking of the only Being there Is; the very One whose perfume is Your Presence.

268

Start Fresh, Aware That You Are Aware

Simply remain with this Knowingness of Your Existence, allowing all notions to come and go.

And when notions do get picked up (because they will) then don’t pick up more notions about why you picked up. Don’t pick up any guilt or unworthiness.

It’s all gone.

In this moment, it’s all gone.

Don’t get into any post-mortems.

Just start fresh.

God is Here.

God Now.

Then you will find that your life is becoming more and more God Now, God Now …, and less and less ‘me-ow, me-ow’.

Those who are new to satsang must feel like this is pretty crazy. [Chuckles] It comes from the Satsang where I was saying ‘Every time you pick up this notion of ‘me’ then the ‘ow’ [Ouch] has to follow.

Then it might feel like there’s some possibility that I can pick up the ‘me’ and the ‘ow’ doesn’t come. But as long as we are carrying this belief in ‘me’ there will be an ‘ow’ that shakes it out of us. That is the design of this creation.

So, whether you say ‘I Am’

Or whether you say God,

Whether you say Satguru

Or you say Truth

Or Self,

the words don’t matter.

It is Your insight about this.

You are tasting your very Presence

That You are aware that You are aware is the antidote to ‘me-ow’.

269

Allow All Notions to Come and Go

God does not need a ‘me’. Someone was asking for practical advice. God can do all the practical stuff.

Even for the practical advice, if I was to give you the mask of personhood onto another mask of personhood, it is still the God-the-puppeteer playing these puppets, isn’t it? [Smiles]

An important point is that God is not a postion. God is not taking a position of ‘Satsang verses practical life’. Many times we get this question in Satsang: ‘All of this fine in Satsang, but what about the real world?’ These positions don’t apply to God. But it is still an idea of limitation that we have about ourselves; which means this distinction.

So, if we are meeting the world in this way, saying ‘No, no, I am just God; don’t ask me the practical things’ then that is also a limitation that we believe in about ourselves (that God is believing about ItSelf). [Smiles] Or ‘No, no, I am very practical, I am not into God’ or something like that. That is also just a notion that God is picking up about ItSelf.

That is why this position-less-ness, notionless-ness. That’s why I was saying earlier that ‘notionless-ness does not mean motionlessness.’ It does not mean ‘notion-full-ness’ also. [Smile] It means just empty of any position with regard to it. Activities can happen, or not.

First, notice this nature of the mind, how when it hears something it just believes. ‘Okay, so I am not the doer so I am meant not to do anything.’ It just believes this position. So, if I say ‘Notionless-ness does not mean motionlessness’ it can feel like ‘No, no, then I have to go and live a full life’ or something. [Chuckles] No, that is also a position.

So, the beautiful way is it is to say: Just remain in Your effortless Knowingness of Your Presence. Now allow all notions to come and go.

The simple way to say it is: Simply don’t believe your next thought.

But I feel like first one is good because it clarifies something.

270

Naturally, You’re Just Effortlessly Existing

We were joking after Stasang yesterday that as long as you play the cat, the Master has to be the ‘ow’. [Chuckles] What does this mean? As long as you keep saying ‘meow, meow’ [Smiles] the Master has to come and ask ‘who?’

All of this confusion is just this; the misrepresentation of ‘me’. And now some of you are already seeing this that it is strangely funny that you were taking some perceptions, some sensations, and all the time just referring to those as ‘me’.

It’s strange; all of them appearing in the same space, in Your own Existence. But this Existence you have not taken to be what it truly IS. You have taken it to be something that is contained in these sensations. It is so upside down, that our existence is been taken to be something which is contained in those sensations that we call the body. What a hypnosis it has been.

Isn’t it apparent to you now that all that we call this body, these sensations, are just appearing within the same space where this voice is appearing; where all perceptions are appearing? And we’ve taken a few of these and said ‘This is me and this is outside me.’ And this separation, this duality, is the primary confusion, the primary cause of all suffering.

If you did not make this distinction (or let’s go a step further today and say: if you did not make any distinction; not even distinction of world, body, and mind, nothing which is ‘me’ or ‘mine’) do you depend on these distinctions for Your Existence?

All these are just constructs; all these are just belief systems. Not the appearance of this play, not the appearance of this realm; these distinctions are just constructs, thought constructs. We have been discussing this. What is the body? We’ve taken a set of sensations and perceptions and included that into one theoretical notion called ‘body’. We have taken another set of sensations and perceptions and called that ‘mind’. And then we have a super notion: called ‘body/mind’ in Advaita circles. [Chuckles] All notionally. In just the appearance of all of this, there is no distinction being made. And the trouble with distinction is only that it leads to this false sense of separation. Something is treated as ‘me’ and something else gets treated as ‘other’. This is duality; this is separation …, which is never really happened.

So, look around; actually, look around, without interpretation or judgment. Is there me or another? Is there any separation? Do you have a boundary?

Q: My itch is my itch.

A:Oh, yes. Who is the ‘me’ whose itch it is? I am not saying that the itch will not appear. The sensation will still appear. But isn’t it in the same space of Existence? Is your itch appearing in different space compared to where this voice is appearing? Isn’t it in the same space in where this body is being perceived? So, why do you call that sensation ‘mine’?

271

I know you are joking, but still it is a good point. Why we call that sensation ‘mine’ and this sensation outside me (like this voice or another’s voice) ‘another’? How do you hear your voice? It’s also in the same space. But one is ‘my’ voice and another is ‘not mine’.

And this is natural to us. We have been taught this. As children we have been thought this. ‘This is you, this defines you, this is another.’ Naturally, you’re just effortlessly existing, containing all things, contain all appearances.

Q: Is it that the body appears to be another?

A:It appears to be another, without interpretation as another? That is why I said ‘Look around without interpretation or judgment.’ You are seeing all these qualitative appearances but does the sense of ‘me’ and ‘another’ come without a notion? This hand is appearing, that hand is appearing, and that hand is appearing; without any notion, does it become my hand and another hand? No; just appearances in the same space of perception, in the same space of Existence.

Then what can happen? The second thing is that we seem to have this visual perspective, the centrality of the visual perspective, which seems to be centered around this body and seems to be looking outwards from here. And that’s why so many of us (although we know that this is not true) we still feel like ‘I must be one object which is sitting inside this head’. That is why I ask this question:’ Is the back of your head in front of you, or behind you? Where is it in relation to you?’ It is a good contemplation, although it can seem a bit strange, because it looks at this belief we have that ‘I am something contained within this container, this body container’. But then, when we observe the sensations which we call ‘the back of my head’ and try to find our relationship with that, we find that it is just another sensation occurring in the same space.

It is so funny that we live this way. When I say ‘Go inside; check inside’ many of us feel that we are checking inside the body. But you, as a doctor [speaking to a doctor in the satsang hall] you know that you are not checking this in the body. [Smiles] I say ‘Check inside. Go to your heart. Experience the Presence of your Existence. You say these words, isn’t it? But you know (as a doctor) that if you were to open the physical heart, it is just a pump; it’s pumping blood. So, this ‘inside’ is not inside this body. It is beyond this four-dimensional realm. You, Your Existence, is prior, is beyond, this four-dimensional realm. This is just an appearing; a manifest instrument.

And these things which are so obvious right under our nose, we’ve never really looked. We just say ‘Go inside’ …, ‘Okay, I will close my eyes. I will go inside. I must be visiting inside my body.’ You are not.

What is this ‘inside’? What is this space or perception in which imagination, memories, thoughts, sensation of the body, all of this are perceived? It is a different space, compared to when all this other visual stimuli is available?

Where is all this appearing?

Is it in a different space?

It is One; One perception, One Being, One appearance.

272

And as you check this, you will find That which is even beyond this.

I was saying the other day ‘Why do you take only some sensations and call them ‘me’? Why don’t you take then every sensation and every perception and call it ‘me’? Why don’t you take that entire space in which all these sensations and perceptions are (including thoughts and memories, imagination; everything) and call it ‘me’?

Then you say ‘But even in this, there is something’ …, why don’t you Take that which witnesses all of this also. If you have to use ‘I’ or ‘me’ for something, make it fully inclusive then.

This is the great part about Advaita. We can make everything fully inclusive and say it is ‘I’ and See it is ‘I’. Or you can say ‘Not this, not this, not this, not this.’ But you came to the same place: That which includes everything.

Why? Because the greatest aspect of YourSelf is this unchanging Awareness.

The dynamic aspect for it…, is just a flickering movement of light and sound.

There, where You find This that is aware, you find this Self which is aware.

273

The One That Is Truly Here Is Only the Self

Q:Father, because there is no one to really claim it; that’s the reason we keep excluding it. Because something comes to claim it (‘I did that’) and then we limit ourselves to that boundary because something is coming and claiming that.

A:Yes exactly. And what you say is true. But if you were to truly, truly look at it, in reality that is all you can claim. That is actually all that you can claim. The one that claims everything else is the ‘no one’. The one that claims ‘my body, my family, my relationship, my freedom, my health’ …, that is the ‘no one’. We don’t find this one. Over the years, how many times I’ve asked in Satsang ‘Who is the one that wants freedom? Produce that one. I will give it [a prize] to that one.’ We never produced that one. Because that is a ‘no one’. It doesn’t exist. The One that is truly Here is only the Self.

But I know what you mean. This false claimant of all property…, [Chuckles] (He is a lawyer, so I’m speaking like a lawyer) …, this false claimant of all property is a non-existent one. But it has a lawyer, which is the voice in your head. We check with the mind: ‘Who is your client? Who are you representing?’ It keeps saying ‘Me, me, me; you, of course, you. What do you mean: who?’ But who is that one? ‘Hmm, let’s not go there. What’s the point of asking?’[Laughter] Like that.

Many times, when I start speaking to someone who is not in satsang about the inquiry, it’s like ‘So, what do you get? What do you get if you ask who you are? Is it very peaceful? Is it very joyful? Is that what you get?’ [Chuckles] I’m like ‘Suppose you did not get anything at all; you did not find any bliss, did not find any peace, did not find any joy…, wouldn’t it still be worthwhile to find out who you are? Because everything that you seem to be doing is for this ‘you’. If you are climbing a wall, wouldn’t you want to find out for whose benefit you are climbing this wall?’

That’s why there comes a point where the longing becomes so deep that we don’t care what happens as a result of this recognition; as a result of this realization. We don’t care about the perks. We just want to know: What is Real? What is true?

Because it is worth it.

[Silence]

Even in this apparent play, if there is something that is worth it, it is the dropping of the false. Then this Truth becomes so apparent.

274

Different Perceptions of How Thoughts Appear

[Reading from chat]: “Thoughts are also heard as voice; the voice of mind as if I’m speaking.”

Yes. But we did this and everybody has a different experience of this. Many years ago (I don’t know how many of you were there) we did this exercise where we said ‘how do your thoughts appear to you?’ For some, they appear visually; for some it’s like an audio, they hearing the audio of the thought; for some it is coming like a neon flash.

So, the perception of thoughts and how we are perceiving is also Consciousness playing with it in a very unique way. Some when we did this exercise, said ‘What? For me, it’s neither audio nor visual. What do you mean?’

So, how are they perceived? It’s good to look and check. How many of hear it as voice? [Looks out to sangha and asks]: Audio? Audio? Visual? [Silence] Audio visual? [Laughter]

[Someone in the room]: Just energy.

A:Yeah, it’s just energy. It’s just energy, actually. But how is it perceived?

{Someone in the room]: But the minute a thought arises, it also has a reaction somewhere.

A:But what is that arising? You say ‘Thought arises.’ What perceives that we say thought arises?

[Q: Inaudible]

A:Okay, wait for your next thought and tell me how it is perceived. [Q: Inaudible]

A:Wait, wait, slowly. Just look.

{Someone in the room]: It’s just a sensation.

A:Yes, it’s just a sensation. Just, perceived qualitatively in which way?

{Someone in the room]: A feeling.

A: As a feeling

[Reading from chat]: “Nothing in actuality.” All of this play, this energetic movement, ultimately is not a thing at all.

275

In the Freshness of This Now, It Is All Gone

So, the only seeming trouble is this ‘me, me, me’. Because otherwise, no trouble. Of there was no ‘ow, ow, ow’ then no trouble. The seeming-trouble is because this suffering is there, which is a result of the idea of a ‘me’ that can suffer.

Then the logical question then would be: What can I do about the ‘me’? As long as there’s a ‘me’

the ‘me’ has these attributes: doership, desire…, sense of separation, duality. The 3- ‘me’. So, this notion can ask; the logical question then is ‘What can I do? Is there something I can do to not play as this cat?’ One is that allow the ‘owl; to come into your life: Who, who?’ The second is to allow these notions to just come and go, just come and go. As they arise, they cannot be given a resting place of your belief, of your identification. And even if they are believed, the good news is that you are free of your entire belief system in this moment.

Can there be something more beautiful, that you could be one identified for one million lifetimes but when you check on YourSelf, this moment, in the freshness of this Now, it is all gone?

Then the next offer will come from the mind. ‘But, but, but, is it really gone? Come, come.’ Like that, it will come. You buy into that offer and it seems like the entire pool of conditioning, the entire tree of karma, seems to come back.

Actually, all our pretend ‘doing or not-doing’ is just part of the appearance of this world. Ultimately, Your own Grace, Your own Grace as Consciousness, just switches out of this limitation. [Silence] And then some of you have had an apparent awakening moment, like a face- palm moment. ‘What?!’ [Holds his head] [Chuckles] And some if you are very sober inside. ‘Huh. This is very straight-forward.’ This that is God, has always been God, has been taken to be something limited, something personal; which is not true. ‘I see there is no person. And yet, I exist.’ All of you, I’m speaking on your behalf: I see that there is no person and yet my Existence is Here. That which exists is only One. Without making up a notion, without making up an idea, I’ve never experienced the two-ness; I’ve only experienced Oneness.

It’s like one a piece of paper. We draw conceptual notions of them and say ‘India, Russia, Europe America’ …, but the paper is one. Then, if you pick up the notion of countries…, a child had no such notions. (A one-year old, okay. For him it’s just a piece of paper.) These appearances are still appearing. This is what I’m saying. All these appearances are still appearing but until you have the notion of other (Dhristi, Jyotima, Saroj) you don’t have these labels. It’s just one piece of paper. God’s drawing board. There is no real distinction between this example and what we seem to be doing in the world. Looking at an appearance and saying ‘That is this one, that is Dhristi, that is Gopala.’ Where is Gopala? Is there such a thing as Gopala? Is there such a thing as Dhristi? Is there such a thing as Ananta? [Shaking his head] No.

It’s just One Being.

276

The Real Miracle Is That You Are the Light Itself

Q:Father, you have been saying that if somebody would ask you ‘Why? [Do inquiry] Like, what you get?’ The only thing that arises here is the openness to be yourself. I mean, you’re looking at this because you can just be yourself without torturing yourself about ‘Why would you be?’ You know? And you can just openly share that. And in that, you find that there is no limitation and boundary. Isn’t that something that somebody would want to go towards? …, where you would

(even as an individual) want to really go towards it, to see your own expansiveness?

A:Yes. And, you see, although this idea of limitlessness is very attractive to most Beings, the interpretation from the mind becomes about having siddhis, superpowers ‘Will I be able to predict the future? Will I be able to change the past? Will I be able to time travel? Will I be able to at five places at the same time?’ [Chuckles]

You are actually all of this and much more! But still, when the ‘me’ is carried, when the ‘me’ is carried along, then it can feel like ‘Power must mean that’. Isn’t it the most powerful that You are the light of this universe itself? [Laughs] The appearance of this entire play is in Your light, with all of this time, space, gravity, electricity, light, magnetism, sound; all of this is happening in Your very Presence. But then, if something is tweaked here and there, if some appearance of some object was appearing dead and suddenly it comes alive, that becomes a miracle. But what about space in which the miracle is happening? That’s not a miracle? That’s taken for granted.

All this time, it is appearing within You. You are the perceiver of it. You’ve experienced many different types of time. You have experienced dreams in which, in this world’s time, only little bit time has passed but a full lifetime has passed in the dream. You have experienced all of this in time. But if you can predict ‘Okay, tomorrow morning for breakfast you are going to eat this’ …, that is a superpower. [Chuckles] This is the thing. This is how limitlessness is understood in this world.

And what I am pointing you to is Your limitlessness, which is Your effortless Existence. But the condition has become so deeply ingrained; the notion of limitation, the notion of individuality seems to have become so deeply ingrained that these minor peanuts seem to be what we call limitlessness. [Chuckles] And this limitlessness which you are tasting Now: What is this?

277

You Will Be Astounded by What You Truly Are

You will be astounded as to the amazing Reality that You Are…, (and about that which you had considered yourself to be). There will some time before even this settles down and becomes more natural. [Smiles]

This is just a time of wonder. And in this time of big wonder, this outer ‘coconut’ [body/mind] will be sitting here; just like that. [Looks off into distance in wonder, eyes raised]

[Sangha Chuckles]

Sometimes there will be a big grin. [Laughs] And sometimes … [Makes contemplative but twisted face wondering] [Sangha Laughs]

I would read ‘The Yoga Vasistha’ many years ago, before I met Guruji [Sri Mooji]. I was reading the Yoga Vasistha…, and with the Yoga Vasistha, you read one story and after that story you are just … [Makes a face of mind-blown, stunned wonderment] And my wife would come to the room and she would say ‘What has happened to you? What are you thinking about? Is something bothering you?’ And I was just like…. [makes a face indicating just looking at her in

stunned wonder, unable to answer]

This is just wonder. What is this?

Q: You can’t even say ‘I’. You can’t start the sentence. You can’t say ‘I’…, like a fool.

A:[Chuckles and looks at her lovingly] You can’t even say ‘I’. It is the greatest fool. It is the best fool ever.

The seeming switching-over of power…, Guruji said when we go from (the switch-over from) person to Being, that symptomatically some of these things can start to appear for us.

And again, I am saying every time, that it is never the same for any aspect of Consciousness. It is always paying with variety, always playing with differences. So, none of this must become like an expectation. But for those who are just finding these experiences in their life, I’m just reassuring you that it’s very, very natural.

278

What Is Happening is Never the Entirety of You

[Reading from chat]: All looks so alien, Father, like I am not even on the planet; just a remote sensory instrument.

A:Yes, and that is like one toenail that you have; this which we consider ourselves to be (‘I’) for so long that we see that it’s still around. But it is not the entirety of My Existence. The entirety of

My Existence contains everything and yet, it is not out of place. It still has room for a million more universes to appear. Because nothing actually takes up any real space within it.

Just like on a movie screen you can project one picture of the entire solar system or you can show one drawing room; the screen remains untouched. So, this notion of space is just like the notion of time. It can seem to have some tangible reality to it, but on the screen of Consciousness it’s nothing.

This is beautiful; the other day in satsang it came up like this, that: This Now that we are speaking about is not a moment in time. The Now that we are speaking about contains all moments in time.

The Now of Your Existence.

You are Here Now.

This ‘Now’ …, is it touched by time? Time is just a notional measure of the rate of change (or something like that). So, stay with your Existence, stay with that Now-ness.

Everything is changing. So, because this hand is moving, you know that a movement of time is happening in the world. But that Now-ness. is it changing? Is something moving for That? Has it aged a few seconds? There is no notion like that for it, so it is beyond time.

In the same way, if you step out to the terrace you will see this big panoramic view. And if you just put your hands like this [Covers his face so that he’s only peeking out between his hands] you see that tiny view. But has something really changed for the spaciousness of Your Being? Nothing. Just the visual is changing. Just what is projected on the screen is changing. Your Being is the same; untouched by the time and space, untouched by any perception.

This Being, this God, this Supreme is Here Now, and It is You.

279

Even This You Are Aware of As Your Own Dynamic Aspect

[Reading from chat]: “Father, it is so clear that it is only this Awareness. Mind is shouting out loud ‘It can’t be this simple.’ This feels stronger than to say ‘Awareness.’ Somehow, I can’t grasp this I Am, I exist, I am alive. Probably, mind tries to perceive. It’s clear, but not crystal clear that I Am.”

So, if I say: ‘You just DON’T BE. Right Now, don’t be.’

[Smiles] You will say that ‘What kind of question is that?’

This is it. It’s that simple.

Don’t try to make it simple for the mind. Don’t try to get the mind to accept this.

You See it.

I say ‘Don’t be.

Right Now, don’t be.

Just for one moment, don’t exist.’

You are still here.

I cannot not exist.

Why? [Smiles] This which cannot go…, is not a coming and going. You can’t turn it on and off like this. This Being, this Existence, is what Guruji [Sri Mooji] says is the Deity of the waking state; Your very Existence.

And ultimately, You are beyond even this…, because even this, You are aware of …, as Your own dynamic aspect. That which is effortless, silent, innocent, witness to even this is so beyond all mental constructs.

That which is not a thing…, and yet, is all things…, which all things are made up of…, just That. We arise from just That. And go back into just That.

It is that clay which is making all these various pots of various shapes and sizes, but which Itself is not a thing.

280

Letting Go of Ideas and Concepts About Experiences

What are we letting go of? We are letting go of ideas and concepts about the experience. The experience itself, we cannot let go of. We cannot have this waking state (unless you are some special mediator) …, you cannot get to those states where you are but the state is not. The waking state means that these experiences will be there. The appearance of all of these will be there; whether we call them outward experiences (actually, there is no such thing) or we call them experiences of this body/mind. Both will continue to be there. So, when we say ‘let go’ we are letting go of the ideas, the super-imposed ideas about them. And there is no closer embrace than that. To not meet life through the lens of these ideas is the deepest intimacy you can have with all our experience. So, it is not contrary actually.

You said’ I surrender all of this to you. Now, I just want to do this.’ Now, these two don’t go together. [Chuckles] Because you can’t surrender and have a position. In fact, surrender itself can become a position. But true surrender…, that’s what Guruji [Sri Mooji] means when he says ‘Surrender the surrender-er also.’ There is no position to be found there. Because actually we are finding nobody that can have this position.

Why to surrender the position or let go the position, is because it’s just a notion, just an idea. There is not even the experience of this one. The one that could have a position is never even a phenomenal experience. That is why I always call it the second-level illusion. So, it’s only mythical. When you say ‘This mythical monster’ (you will not say mythical, you will say) ‘This monster comes and bothers me every day. It only gives me space when I am in Satsang, then it doesn’t bother me.’ (Because that’s when I am showing you that it is mythical). So then, the thing was something which is just a myth.

So, as we let go of that one with all the positions, then all distinctions also go. Our sense of separation is not there.

Like yesterday we were saying ‘Look around the room, but look around without judgment, without label.’ They don’t have a label. Then you see that without a label, also there is supreme Intelligence which runs this life.

Because the mind will come and tell you about that. ‘How am I supposed to go to court? How am I supposed to…?’ That ‘How am I supposed to…’ is invalid because that ‘I’ which is ‘supposed to’ is again the mythical one.

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What Is Just Is

The Invitation is that all of that has to go to the funeral pyre. We can presume that it is already gone. It’s going to go anyway. [Smiles] And what is left? [Silence] It’s going to go. [Silence] Is there any position which you can take now which will remain? Now, the good news is that all which is going to go, goes…, but the Truth remains unchanging. And this is the Self. This is the Absolute, empty of all distinctions. Even the distinction of ‘Consciousness’ and ‘Awareness’ is just something we use in Satsang to explain to you about qualitative difference; but ultimately, there is no difference. All differences are just notional. And this is very good because all of these are going to hold no value. All that we have understood, even intellectually, where is that going to go? [Someone says ‘In the fire.’]

In the fire. In the funeral pyre. So, we have been struggling to pick up ‘this, this, this’ [Gestures toward his body] which is just a short-term ‘me’. After this, it’s over. We can let go of the struggle to try and understand conceptually, and just recognize what is beyond time. What space is that which is beyond space? Where is this space appearing? Now, if you want to grasp it, either perceptually or mentally, then this can seem like a struggle. It can seem like ‘I am just not getting it. This is too abstract, too difficult.’ But all you have to do (if there’s sense that you can do something) is to not pick up any distinctions about anything.

So, when I say ‘Who are you representing?’…, mostly the ‘I’ is being represented on the basis of some distinction that we are making. Isn’t it? We are not representing the entirety of the appearance also. Although appearance and That which is aware of appearance is also a distinction, which is a notion. To say that ‘That which is the changing is an appearance (because it appears and disappears) and That which is aware of this is the unchanging Reality’ …, if we did not have notions or concepts of changing, unchanging, appearing, disappearing…, all that is notional. What Is just Is. That is the level we are talking about. When we start to look at it like that, when we start to recognize it like that: who is recognizing? Not this coconut. This is a very important point. Because we go through this experience also feeling like ‘I-body-mind’ or ‘I- entity’ is recognizing something which is beyond boundary. That one is not recognizing. It is not a sensory recognition. It is not a conceptual recognition. So, it is not phenomenal. This body is just phenomenal. Where is it going? Into the fire. [Laughing] But You are not. Now, this You, which is not phenomenal, what position can it have? It cannot have any position.

[Someone says something inaudible and Ananta replies]: You can say it that way. Some have said ‘The urge to experience ItSelf as something’. Someone said ‘The tiny mad idea’. The Sages have said ‘The urge to experience ItSelf as phenomenal’ but actually, it is unanswerable, what This Is and why This unmanifest non-phenomenal appears as this manifest Universe is an unanswerable question. My favorite answer is for entertainment; the leela, the Divine play. But whatever takes that question away from your mind is a good enough answer [Laughs] because it is unanswerable.

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Who Is All of This About?

So, now no distinction. And this will become more and more natural. It can feel like, initially, that there is some effort involved to drop the distinction, but this is worthwhile, even if it feels like it is some effort. Just you can feel like ‘But everywhere I look, the label is coming, the label is coming and I grab the label before I have a chance.’ But you will see that this eases out. This will ease out. We start with some simple things. Like, we look at this [Looks at a coconut] and a belief will come ‘coconut’ …, something. So, as the allowing of these labels to come and go is happening naturally, you will find that something beautiful is being recognized where you are meeting the photocopy of this world, which has had so much separation, so much ‘me, mine, you, yours, I am doing this right, I am free, I am not free’. All of these.

What is going on? Who is all of this about? [Smiles]

So, maybe when Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] started sharing, he didn’t share (I’m just fooling around) [Smiles] …, he didn’t want to start it as a practice (Just practice. Inquire: Who am I?’) but he was sincerely asking ‘But who are you? You are saying ‘This, this, this’ but who are you? Which part of this appearance are you making the distinction and saying ‘That is me’?

It will become more natural not to make the distinction. Maybe this body is sitting and these words are coming out. The hearing of these words is happening just the same way as if some other mouth was speaking, the hearing of that would happen. But I remember clearly (even now, these times do come once in a while) but I remember clearly that there was a time where it was such a strong belief that I is one speaking these words. Some individual ‘I’ was believed in which was a supposed-speaker and a listener of these words. Now, I see this; it is moving, it is speaking these words; it is just appearing. Nobody is thinking about them, deciding to say them and then speaking. This mouth is moving, this tongue is moving. And this is the same for all of us.

Now you See that One undivided whole-ness, fullness.

Q:I feel like it’s just imagination ultimately.

A:Yes.

Q:I guess the world again is imagination.

A:[Smiles] Yes. Imagination on the steroids of notion; because this itself is imagination. This itself is the creative, imaginative power of Consciousness to project this appearance itself already an imagination. Image creation = imagination. Then, powered by notions (or on the steroids of these notions) then it can seem like an individual. The three D’s will come: Duality, desire, doer- ship.

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We’re Actually Going Nowhere

That is the nature of attachment. Because the mind will come and make you believe that it is something that you have to leave. No. What you said earlier is very beautiful. Include everything as You. ‘Don’t make distinctions’ doesn’t mean that you just have to leave or you have to renounce. Nothing like that. You just ‘not believe’ in distinction. Now, where is all of this? This body sitting-seemingly in front of you, where is it?

Q: Within. Within.

A:Within. You see? You don’t have to leave anything in that way. All will continue to appear as is the will of Consciousness. As the light of the projector wills it, the movie on the screen will be received in that way. All of that will play out based on your greater will; the will of Your true Being. You don’t have to leave anything at all. You don’t have to pick up anything at all.

Ashtavakra said something like ‘If I am all there is…, (or ‘if I am the witness of all there is) what is there for me to accept or renounce?’ So, subtly, even that I have to leave this or leave that can become a position; and all positions mean some suffering. All positions imply ‘me’ and therefore,

‘ow’ is coming. [Laughing]

And I am happy that we are having this conversation because you are also aware of that. Some are feeling like I am propagating that you must push your feelings away or something like that. It can feel like that. But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying ‘Yes. Attention has gone so much…, time has gone so much…, focus has gone so much into these phenomenal things. Can we afford to take out some focus, some time, on That which perceives all of this?’ That is my Invitation, you see. And when that Invitation is made, when the root of attachment seems to be too deep, then it can seem like ‘But, no, he is asking us to push it away.’ No, I’m not! I’m just saying: ‘But what else is there? Can we look at that?’ And upon finding That, if what is going to be said from your mouth itself sounds like it is just saying ‘But this is all just coming and going. It’s not My ultimate Reality’ then it’s very natural for it to sound like that.

If you went to Katmandu and instead of these nice fish and all you found the lost city of Atlantis. You’d say ‘What?’ And you come back to this world and you say ‘But this light seems a bit dimmer.’ So, others are bound to get irritated and say ‘But, but, he is trying to put this down!’ [Smiling] Like that, it can seem. But where you’re speaking from is from a greater experience that you had. It’s like the story of Plato’s Cave. In the cave, all of them are tied together and they can only look at the shadows. So, they grew up their entire life feeling that the shadows (because light would come behind them and change the position of light) the shadows would move. So, they would feel like it is these shadows which are the real light. Then, for some unexplained reason, one got unbound and he ran towards the light. And initially, it was completely blinding. [Gestures as if blinded by sunlight] Completely blinding. In a little bit, it became more natural. Then he saw ‘Oh, that was just a cave. Those were shadows in that light, and the true reality is this’. What do you think the reaction to him was when he came back into the cave and tried to tell the others? [Laughing] [Pretends to be Dismissive Captives]: ‘Go to sleep.’ [Laughing]

It can seem a bit like that because actually it is the recognition of what is being pointed out which is important. Without that, even the highest words are just empty words. And to come to

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this recognition, all these are pointers to that. So, when I say ‘Don’t make distinctions’ it might seem like a very simple thing. ‘Don’t label.’ But deep inside, it happens; that one moment when you’re empty of distinction and labels, deep inside. So, leave this world un-labeled. Leave this body un-labeled. Leave your emotions un-labeled. Leave these thoughts un-labeled. Leave your Being un-labeled.

Q: That’s the most important.

A:That’s very important for all; because we are labeled this magnificent Being, God himself, herself as ‘me’ (a limited ‘me’). It has just been a label. So, as we leave it un-labeled, what happens? We come to That which is Aware of all of this. And It ItSelf is so attribute-less, so quality-less, that it is un-label-able. It’s un-label-able; try as you might. We can use some big words and say ‘Awareness. The Absolute. Brahma. Brahman. The Ultimate Principle. The One.’ We can say all of this but actually, when you say ‘Okay, The One. The Absolute.’ …, those for whom that simple recognition is not there, they say ‘What Absolute? What One? What Awareness? Perceiving; are you talking about sight?’ It’s confusing. The beauty of this is that as you allow all these labels to come and go, allow everything on this side [Gestures Outward] of your Existence to remain without labels and don’t even label This for some time (Existence,

Being, Nothing); drop all these labels that we’ve learned…., in that spaciousness that You create for YourSelf, this Truth that ‘Ultimately, I am just Aware of even This. All of This is also ‘I…, but in the most unchanging way: I Am just This that is Aware.’

Q: It’s getting more natural to say that there’s, like you say, no distinction in the ‘I’. So, just that.

A:Yes, just that. But for some time, not even that …, because that can become a distinction. Let all experiences happen. Let them come and go. Let all of this happen; thoughts, feelings, events, energy, this mouth, your own mouth, (that which you call your own mouth), these words, actions, all of this. But when I say leave it un-labeled, I mean don’t take any of the labels seriously. Don’t give them the reality of Your belief. Be empty of all positions, even that which sounds like the ultimate position.

The Truth is not in the words I am speaking. I am just the guy on the side of the road [Points] saying [Points] ‘Go this way’. [Laughing] So, if you feel like ‘Go this way’ is a destination, that will not be it. ‘Go this way’ means ‘Go this way’. Don’t make ‘Go this way’ the Truth. Because if you’re that way, I’ll say ‘Go that way’. If you come to me from the left, I might say ‘Go right’. If you come to me from the right, I might say ‘Go left’. And then you might feel like ‘But he’s pointing us so contradictory.’ [Laughing]

Because actually, where are we going?

[Sangha says: ‘Nowhere.’]

Nowhere.

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There Is No ‘Me’ Therefore There Is No Mind

This becomes so natural that people around you might come to you and say ‘What is this you have? Can’t you share some of this? You teach or share Satsang?’ [Chuckles] And yet, one day you notice your mouth starts speaking something; usually in response to a question from that what we traditionally call ‘a sincere seeker’. If a question comes with openness, you find that ‘Ah, this mouth is speaking.’ But the fragrance that you are smelling as this mouth is speaking is your Master’s fragrance. And then so much gratitude. ‘Thank you, Father, for using this mouth.’ All because these distinctions were dropped.

The thorns that we are using in Satsang are to remove these thorns. But don’t make Satsang notions into fresh thorns. If you come with ten spiritual concepts and all that has happened in Satsang is that I gave you ten more, [Chuckles] then I have not done a good job.

Just one, any one of these pointers, these tools, is enough. And just everything is thrown away. Don’t know anything about anything at all. There is this Knowingness of this ‘Don’t know’. [Chuckles] So beautiful.

There is no utility of any concept, except when they are used to remove or explore other concepts. The only other utility has been to cause this seeming play of suffering.

With concepts, what have we got actually?

Sangha: Confusion.

Confusion, grievance, resentment, pride, attachment, all this ‘me’, ‘mine’, path, practice; all this.

Sangha: Father, they are actually using to point.

Exactly. Those concepts such as ‘Who am I?’ are very atomic concepts. ‘Are you Aware now?’ ‘Don’t make distinctions.’ ‘Let go of all positions.’ All these are very beautiful, atomic concepts. But if they themselves become deeply embedded as concepts then…, keep coming to Satsang. [Chuckles]

There is no ‘me’, therefore there is no mind.

No ‘you’, no ‘yours’.

No left, no right, no up, no down.

No body, no mind.

No Consciousness, no Awareness.

No ‘No’. [Chuckles] No ‘Yes.

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There Has Always Only Been One

Suppose we had a very important visitor coming today. If I said ‘This evening a very important visitor is coming, so can we clean up the place a bit?’ [Smiles] We clean up the place, scrubbed everything nice and fresh. And when we come in the evening, we find that actually the visitor has always been here. That which we thought was the visitor was always here. But behind the dust it seemed like this visitor was hidden. [Smiling] But that’s what is happening in Satsang. As Guruji says ‘One fingernail can seem to obstruct the sun.’ And Bhagavan said ‘One eye, one individual eye, can seem to block our True vision of ‘What Is’. So, all that we are doing in Satsang is clearing up this dust. What is this dust? It’s just conceptual dust. Nothing even phenomenally has to be cleaned. This person is also phenomena. This worldly thing doesn’t have to be cleaned; only these conceptual notions about OurSelf. Then we see that That which you felt would be a visitor, that Self which we were looking for, that God which we are longing for has always just been here.

Now, there’s another piece of very good news. [Chuckles] The thing is if God is already Here, then dust can’t survive even for a moment.

So, even this seeming-clean up job is done for you Now. It can seem like a conundrum but it’s not. When we expect to find God, God is Here. When we expect to find a person, some concept needs to be uprooted, that’s all. If you expect to find God Now, there is nothing which is stopping you because all that you find is God. ‘To expect the person’ means there must be a belief in some limitation, some individuality, some notion, some concept. And just that has to get dissolved. It is this simple.

If you presume that there is an individual entity here who has to do ‘x, y, and z’ to come to God then it can seem to play that way. If you don’t pick up the mask of person, if you don’t pick up the presumption of individuality at all and just check: ‘What is already Here?’ So, not only is the visitor already here, that space in which all this is appearing has only been because of the Light of this so-called ‘Visitor’. And you see that actually This One is the Landlord. My idea about ‘me’ was the visitor. I felt like I was the owner, but actually God has always been the Landlord. The notion of ‘me’ was always just a visitor, a tenant. So, we have given an eviction notice to this tenant now, by your coming to Satsang. And the notice gets over? …, Now.

The tenant might say ‘But, but, but I have something important to finish. We didn’t finish that project.’ You say ‘Okay, okay, you stay another day.’ This is the process of giving belief to notions about OurSelf. When we give beliefs, we’re saying ‘Okay, you stay.’ Then, next moment again, gone. So, this is what’s happening in Satsang. We’re Seeing that really there has only been One that is the owner of this house, the owner of this Realm…, and you had considered YourSelf to be one of the appearances shining in Its Light.

I was saying yesterday or the day before that: We have the power to consider OurSelf to be something. The Unlimited One has the power to consider ItSelf to be something. And we have long made a habit out of considering OurSelf to be just this [Gestures towards body] and these thought constructs. So, if you want to use the power to consider YourSelf to be something, why

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don’t you use that power to consider YourSelf to be everything…, the space which contains everything?

Space is also appearing for You, isn’t it? It’s also an appearance. That space in which all other objects come is also just an appearance for You. So, why do you take only one part of this appearance to be You? Why don’t we take everything, for starters? Possible? Because we are considering OurSelf to be some appearance anyway, so let’s take the broader appearance.

But then the question can be asked ‘So, why do we leave the One that perceives this space out?’ Why do you leave the One that is even the witness of even this space, even this time…, why do you leave that One out? There is no reason to, because it is not alien to us. This Witness. It is most Intimate. So, let’s include That also.

And now, don’t make any distinction.

All has been included and no distinctions are needed.

[Silence]

And even in the play of considering YourSelf to be this, You will recognize that This is the only thing I don’t have to consider MySelf to be. I am so intimately That. So, Originally That. Nothing needs to be done. Not even this play of considering MySelf. Then you see that whenever I have considered MySelf to be something it has only been an aspect of MySelf, it has not been My complete Reality.

[Silence]

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Not ‘I Am Something’ But Simply ‘I Am’

Now what happens if you make a distinction? This ‘D’ of distinction [Smiles] will lead to the ‘D’ of duality. Distinction implies that there is one that is separate from another, and very quickly implies that there is a ‘me’ and there is a ‘world’ …, there is a ‘me’ and ‘other.’ Just on one distinction: ‘me’ and ‘other’ …, that is all of duality. The entire play of duality is resting on this mental distinction believed in. Then there is duality when you start to consider yourself a tiny object. Now, as you consider yourself as a tiny object, you can feel like ‘Oh, I can play bigger. If I had another object, I could get bigger. If I had another object…, and that particular object I see.’ It could be a material thing, it could be another person. So, you want to have relationship, you want to have material success. Just because immediately something feels like ‘This is too small’ if you consider yourself to be something so tiny. And something is biting with that. Suffering is coming because of that. Because You are All-There-Is and You’ve considered yourself to be so miniscule and something wants [more]. But it operates in this presumption of individuality. So, it feels that I can get bigger if I have the best relationship, the best material things, the best body. Then we tried that. It feels alright for sometime, when desire is fulfilled.

So, this is desire. When we’ve picked up a distinction that came with the ‘D’ of duality which lead to the ‘D’ of desire and then picked up the ‘D’ of doer-ship. We say ‘Ah, this is what I desire. If I found a perfect partner, what should I do now so that he will be mine or she will be mine?’ We want to expand our scope. When we use the term ‘mine’ we are expanding the scope of the ‘me’. And to make the me bigger, we say’ mine, mine, mine’. ‘So, what should I do to make fulfill all these desires? And the desire could even be freedom. ‘What should I do? Which Satsang should I go to? Whom should I listen to?’ Just all because we made one distinction ‘me’ and ‘others’, ‘me’ and the ‘world’. If we drop this distinction, all these ‘D’s of the ego will be gone. How many ‘D’s are there? Drop is also ‘D’. And actually, ‘drop’ is not true. Because it is just a question of not picking up the offer from the mind. Not even dropping; because God has been Here. God is the best cleaning lady in the world. So, everything that had to be drooped is already dropped.

A new offer of conceptual dust is coming. You want one bag you? Want one liter? You want how much? There is an unlimited supply. (All of you know the ATM example. Some don’t. I will share in a bit.) Unlimited amount of misery is available to you through the mind. If your heart longs for the something for the ‘me’ then it will continue to buy bags full of dust, feeling like we will get something from it. But if your heart longs for God Now…, then God is Here.

At least here, I don’t want a God which comes and goes. I don’t know about you guys. [Chuckles] You want a God that comes and goes? So, if there is real God, then It must be here now. Either everything you are saying is rubbish; all of this is just mumbo-jumbo brainwash. Either it is that or in our living experience Right Now we can get a taste of God. Now God is an abstract term and has been used for many things. Many people have lots of conditioning also around it. So, a simpler way to say it is ‘I am.’ Just three letters only. The same. ‘I Am’ but ‘I am not some-thing’. That ‘some-thing’ is always conceptual.

I Am without labels, without distinctions, without boundaries, without limitations. All these limitations belong to something which I have never been. But ‘I Am.’

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Can You Not Be?

Can you not be? Try to stop being. Just don’t be for a moment.

Possible? It is not coming and going.

So, this ‘something’ notion (‘I am man, I am women, I am forty-three, I am parent, I am this.’) all these notions are the conceptual dust I am talking about. All this is just a part of phenomenal appearance, aspect of this appearance; but I am not. I am that whole from all of this appears.

This body is speaking these words is just an aspect of Me. That body listening to these words is an aspect of Me. All distinctions were false. There never have been two of us. There has always been just One Consciousness, playing this funny game ‘pretend separation’ and ‘pretend dissolution of separation’ …, ‘pretend liberation’.

It is like a seven-year-old besides is going to play a game. This hand is separate and this hand is separate and both of them are communicating with each other. ‘Oh, actually we are one.’ [Smiles] It is just like this. Waves of the ocean. One wave is saying ‘I have to go there, I don’t have time to listen to this.’ [Smiles] ‘I am so busy running the life of the wave. But I have to go there, I have to go here. I went too much left, I went too much right. I have to correct it.’ [Chuckles] And one wave coming out of somewhere and saying ‘But look, look at what you are. This is just surface level. What is under the surface?’

There is one ocean, where all of these bodies are just part of it, all of these objects are just part of it. The space in which they seem to appear is a part of it. The time in which they seemingly- move is a part of it. So, that wave, the physical appearance of that wave, is the outer aspect of the Satguru because that is the one that is reminding You of Your own Reality as the ocean itself and not the wave.

And inwardly, this very same voice has always been reminding you anyway. It just has been mistaken for just another thought. So, there comes a point where you find this outer shell which is just an instrument of Your own intuitive Presence. When we find this one, he is pointing you to Your own intuitive Presence, reminding You that there is only One. There never has been any true separation or distinction.

Now, the mind will come and say ‘But that is very difficult. Something is too difficult. What you are saying is too simple; but to do that, to drop all distinctions, to drop all beliefs is too difficult.’ But you can clearly see that it is the making of distinctions which takes up energy. Effortlessly, without using energy, can you make a distinction? So, when Papaji [Sri Poonja] says ‘keep quiet’ when Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘keep quiet’ he is not talking about physical quiet (or at least not just about the physical quiet. He is talking about don’t spend your energy on anything. See what is effortlessly present.

Are you existing as the result of some effort that you are doing?

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This Mission Is Complete

Is there any problem with this natural Existence?

Why do we want to exchange this God with no problems, this God Now, for just an idea of our self which has all kinds of desire, doership, grievances, pride? It is not a sensible deal to me. To exchange ‘God Now’ for ‘me-ow’ is not a sensible deal. [Chuckles]

And even to make a distinction between this manifest Existence and that which is the Eternal witness of even the coming and going of Being Itself, even this distinction is not ultimately true. That’s why the Sage said ‘Whether manifest or unmanifest, it is one Govind.’ We sing that bhajan sometimes [Abhanga by Tukaram] ‘Tujhe saguna manu ke nirguna re’ means ‘Whether with attributes or without attributes, it is one absolute’ whether we use the term God, Self, Satguru, Father; It’s all actually That.

We created this beautiful video game called ‘maya’ and put on this very immersive experience and enjoyed it. But now something is feeling like: I want to switch this game off and experience my Reality again. One of the attributes of this game has been to identify ourselves as this game character. There always seems to be in some sort of conflict or some sort of mission; like in the game we always have some mission. Our mission has been relationship, education, money; all the variables which the world can provide. Now the mission is freedom. This is the mission. If you complete this, you figure out that game character who seemingly-started the mission was never who I was anyway. All other missions can seem to amplify this, the ego of the game character.

The completion of this mission is the simplest. Because it is already Here and complete!

Many feel like it’s not like this, but it is like that. Suppose you were playing on the play station (you know this console game: ‘play station’). Play station has this game character. It had the narrator which is saying ‘This is your next mission is; this is what you have to do.’ It’s saying all of that. Now, in Play station, one part of the game, just one tiny aspect of the game is saying ‘But look at who you are. You are not the game character. Just look.’ But the narrator in the game is saying ‘No, no, it can’t be that simple. This game character has to fulfill his mission first, it has to do these things in the game. You see that there are very rare ones, but it is not possible for you.’ It is saying all of that. But in that moment where the one who has been playing this game, looks away from the screen and just checks, [Looks around] then it is Seen: I have never been inside that game. The game is on because of Me. The game is there because of Me. But I have never not been just an object in it, if at all. I am the one who has given power to this game; given light to this game.

That’s what we are recognizing.

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Either Recognize the Beloved Now, or Suffer

Q:If everything is one, then me or maya [Illusion] is also one. If yes, how to feel and experience in real that they are one?

A:Actually, it is already your experience. That’s what I have been saying from the beginning. [Chuckles] Our experience is very much this, but our notion is not. So, when we say ‘We and experience’ or ‘We and maya’ already are we making a distinction. You already have an idea of that one who should feel one with maya. If you had no notion of this one and no notion of maya, then tell me if there are two.

It’s possible to check right now. If we start with the presumption that ‘I am this body/mind and I want to feel one with so-called outer appearance’ then already the distinctions are there You see? You are already presuming; you are putting the mask on and then saying ‘Now, show me God.’ But if you don’t make this distinction (‘me and maya’) then are they one or two? Or one and two are not applicable? [Smiles]

And this sense of ‘me’ then also comes into our spirituality, and then we are trying to figure out ‘Oh, am I the doer or not? Am I this or am I that?’ …, but again, with the mask on of the ‘me’.

I am saying: Naturally in this moment, there is no reason to put the mask on. Mask is gone; no reason to put it on. Now?

Your experience is always showing you Reality. Experience is not making a distinction between appearance and that which is Aware of experience, of appearance. It is one tiny aspect of the appearance called thought, this mind, this energy construct, which is saying ‘me, me, other, other; me-separate, this one, me and mine.’ All this is coming from there.

Naturally, in this moment, You are free from all of this. Of course, the separation machine; the seller of masks [Chuckles] will still come and offer you. ‘See? This is the best one! You want the enlightened mask? [Laughs] It’s called a halo. You want that?’ [Makes a gesture of buying the mask] ‘Finally, after my twenty years of sadhana and self-inquiry, he has offered me the halo!’ [Chuckles] It’s still a mask of separation.

Sages (traditionally, Sages) were very blunt. So, the great Indian Sage, Sant Kabir, he said ‘Either recognize the Beloved now…, or suffer.’ He just … [Laughter] That’s somewhat similar (I am recognizing now) …, somewhat similar to what I am saying: God Now or ‘me-ow’.

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The Easier Way Is to Clarify the ‘I’

Q:Could you put some clarity on what could be an experience? When I say I ‘experience ‘ something, sometimes it feels like the mind is a different entity. Like when you say it’s trying to sell you something, you know? From the mental ‘I-me’ perspective it feels like this other one is coming.

A:That’s why I clarified that in the game itself [Referring to Play Station game analogy he spoke of earlier] in the design of the game, there is this voice narrator which is saying ‘Your mission is…, you have to do this next.’ You see? This is also part of the play of Consciousness but it is that part of the play of Consciousness that Consciousness has used to play as if It is a limited entity. You see, it is not another; it is still part of One. So, like I was saying to you yesterday, the two-year old is also part of humanity but if it came and told you ‘Aunty, Aunty, you have some pink horns on your head’ …, is it believed because it is part of humanity? No. So, you don’t have to hate the mind, don’t have to create some aversion towards it, but to notice that: What is it saying about us is not our Reality.

Q:And if I were to contemplate on what would be ‘experience’ …, would it be something known through my senses?

A:Not just that but something that is witnessed. You see, you can have experiences through inner perception also.

Q: Yeah.

A:And ultimately, you can call this the non-phenomenal recognition of the attributeless Self. We call that also an experience ultimately. So, You are just witnessing Your true Self.

The term ‘experience’ is used much more broadly than just sensory perception. It includes inner perception. Ultimately, you can say that ‘I had the experience of MySelf. It was completely non- phenomenal.’ In terminology, the term ‘experience’ is used more broadly than you would use it for sensory perception.

Q:So, like you said, the witnessing of anything that is coming and it’s going…

A:… is what you would call ‘experience’.

Q:So, this whole waking state is an experience, right?

A:Yes.

Q:And the dream state is an experience; the whole thing. So, whenever we use the word ‘experience’ mentally there is the sense of an experiencer behind it. It seems to be like one package. Only in deep sleep there is no experiencer and no experience either. Both have come and gone. But it’s never been my experience that there has been an experience but there’s no experiencer.

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A:Now, the ‘er’ …, the doer, the experiencer, have been misdirected toward a limited entity. All these ‘er’s have been misdirected towards a limited entity. And now you’re finding that all the ‘er’s actually belong to the One Being, which is Consciousness Itself.

The easier way is to clarify the ‘I’.

When you clarify the ‘I’ then all this gets answered simply. If you try to go from that side [Hands stretched outwards] then it can seem like ‘I’m getting to the final truth of the I’.

If you can just clarify what ‘I’ is now.

What are You now?

So, when you say ‘Should I contemplate it in this way or should I not?’ … What is ‘I’ representing?

Q: It becomes like another experiencer-doer ‘I’.

A: Exactly.

Q:And when I come to this notionless-ness then there is no ‘I’ which is experiencing anything actually.

A:Or there is only One ‘I’ which is the light of all of this and the experience of it. That’s why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘Both the projector and the screen’. The screen is not affected by the content of the movie and yet, it is the substratum of the movie itself. That is Your very Being.

Q: That is that experience when you tell us ‘Don’t judge.’

A: Exactly. No distinctions, no notions.

Q: I mean there is a sense of Being but it’s not ‘doing’.

A: Exactly.

Q:You don’t lose Your sense of Existence but that ‘doer/experiencer’…, that one has gone now.

A:Yes.

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Seeking Implies I’m at Some Distance from Self

There can be only two possibilities. The first possibility is that ‘You are the Self.’ The second possibility is that ‘You are at some distance from the Self.’

So, seeking Self-realization implies that ‘I must be at some distance from the Self.’ This must be the presumption before we have the idea of finding the Self. The idea of finding implies that there must be somewhere to go, something to find.

So, at what distance can you be from Your own Self? Can you make one-millimeter distance from YourSelf to YourSelf? You know what I mean? We are not playing with words. We’re not just playing with words although it can sound like it. Nobody can make this even one tiny amount of distance in themselves. This is what I mean.

So then, where do you want to go? What do we want to find?

We might also sometimes have the idea that ‘The Self that I am right now is not is not enough. I am right now the ‘person’ and I want to become the Absolute.’ But this is just a notion. We are taking some appearance and calling that ‘me’. But That which witnesses all this appearance … [Smiles] That is the magic of this maya [illusion] that the most obvious is missed out. This body appears to ‘me’ (‘my sangha, my family, my thought, my emotion, my sensations’). All these we call ‘me’ or ‘mine’. What about That which witnesses all of this, that perceives all of this? What can we say about that One?

There is no actual reason in reality to say that something is ‘mine’. There would be, [Chuckles] if you could first produce the ‘me’. If there is a ‘me’ then it is possibility to have a ‘mine’. This ‘me’ nobody finds; it’s just a presumption. This we don’t want to investigate. But everything else phenomenally, we are happy to investigate. When you are buying a car; somebody said it is a six cylinder and you have a suspicion that it’s four cylinders. Before you write the check, you will investigate properly if it is four cylinders or six. Before you buy a house, you will investigate every part of that. Is there some leakage, what is happening, what is the maintenance? All of this we investigate. But this that we consider ourself to be, that is left un-investigated. So, we pick up the idea that ‘I am just this bucket of flesh and bones and blood. I am these sensations. These sensations draw my boundary.’

When is this ever been true? Your experience is also not telling you this. The sensations that we call the body, the perceptions that we call the body, they are being perceived within You; all of this. And yet, for some reason we say that this sensation which is within ‘me’ defines my boundary. It is complete madness. It is divine madness alright, but it is complete madness. [Chuckles] It is a divine illusion and yet, illusion nonetheless.

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There Is Only One Being

I am the bearer of good news [Chuckles]. What is the good news? Good news is that ‘God is Here’. And even more, ‘I Am’. Your very Existence is the only Being there is. This ‘I Am’ is not Ananta’s ‘I Am’. There is only one ‘I Am’. And this is apparent to You. When you leave all that you perceive unlabeled, then the One that cannot have a label is completely apparent to You. But our habit is to make distinctions everywhere. ‘Let’s draw boundaries, let’s draw lines everywhere. This is you, this is me; this one is man, this one is woman; this one is young, this one is old; this one …’ Distinctions everywhere. That’s why I said ‘Even for few moments if you leave everything that you perceive unlabeled, without a label, then what I am saying to you is completely apparent to You.

Don’t wait for the certificate from the mind. ‘He’s saying it’s apparent? I still don’t know.’ [Makes a gesture of ‘I don’t know’. Chuckles] Always protesting. ‘Objection, your honor.’ [Chuckles] Always. Forget this one. Don’t label even this. Let it come and go. Without labels, You are not defining YourSelf as something limited, and Your experience about YourSelf is always the unlimited One, the only One there Is. It’s important for me to point this out, otherwise you will keep waiting for some objective experience, and call that Self-realization. To realize that You have always been the Self alone. To recognize this Now is Self-realization. What did Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] say? He said ‘I say to you: You are the Self’. But if you have a ‘But…’ (‘I am the Self, but…’) then inquire.’ You say ‘I know, I am the Self but…, I want freedom’. If that condition is there then inquire into the condition and say ‘Who wants freedom?’ And if your temperament does not seem to be the inquiring type then all your wants and desires, hand them over to the Satguru Itself.

But even these two main lines of approach, Self-inquiry and surrender, need you to have the presumption that You are something limited first. Otherwise, even these are not needed. And this is the second piece of good news: Nothing needs to be done. You are the Self, Right Now. All your prior conditions, all that you feel are your mistakes, your sins, all that you are proud of…, everything is gone. Right Now, it is all gone. You have to think about it to bring it back.

You are full and complete. And You always Are. Even when you pick up the doubt ‘But…’ [Chuckles] it is just a play; it is a pretense, a mask. Nothing happens to Your original Self.

That’s why this starting point is very important. Do you want to start with the presumption of personhood and then go to Godhood? Or do you want to see what already Is and see if there is somewhere to go?

If you want to play that way that ‘I am the person wanting to get to God’ then the play of the journey will have to happen. If you are open and willing to check ‘What is here now?’ then you See that ‘Wherever I may seem to wander, I have only always been the Self.

When Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Meet me naked’ he means ‘Don’t meet me with this mask on.’ The mask is going; it’s gone. It’s gone? [Looks at Sangha] Yes. [Laughs] I am answering for you.

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Automatically we are naked in this moment.

We don’t even have to become naked.

We don’t have to become open.

We Are.

What’s the next move? We are going to meet God in a moment. But if you judge Her, she will seem like a person.

Ready?

Who’s ready?

[Sangha replies]: Yes.

So, meet YourSelf, Now.

This is the only God there is.

If you judge it, this God plays with the mask of a person.

Unlabeled, unjudged, uninterpreted, ‘I Am’ is just ‘I Am’.

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Your Very Existence Is Made Up of This Awareness

This Divine Presence, as You are meeting it Now…, sometimes the mind will come and say ‘Yes, I just have to hold on to this. I just have to hold onto this.’ What I am suggesting, Now that you’re Here, is: Try to get rid of it. Run from it, run from your Divine Presence.

Tell me who succeeded?

It is just Here.

You cannot leave It.

Just Here.

Nowhere to go. Everywhere is only within It.

And for some of you, very naturally it is feeling like ‘I am aware even of this Existence, of this Consciousness. I am Aware of even ‘I Am’.

Your very Being is recognizing Its own Source. There is no up, no down, no left, no right, no good, no bad, no yesterday, no tomorrow, no bondage, no freedom, no me, no mine, no other.

Your very existence is made up of this Absolute Essence, this Awareness.

All distinctions are gone.

No manifest, no unmanifest, no Existence, no Awareness, no concept about anything at all.

Beyond waking and sleep, beyond any realm you experience in dreams, You are the Eternal Witness.

How long will you consider YourSelf to be this tiny appearance?

Are you done with the play of evidence of distinctions?

Of seeking, of finding, of losing?

Are you not done with all positions (even the enlightened one)?

Meet me without your mask and we meet as One.

There’s no need to collect anymore spiritual concepts. All the exposure you need to burn everything that is false is already with You.

Every idea You have believed about YourSelf is already in the junk yard, gone. And it is apparent to you that You are much greater than any idea.

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All Things Are Perfectly Resolved In Notionless Existence

Master Bankei said ‘All things are perfectly resolved in the unborn.’

It is quite conclusive, okay?

‘All things are perfectly resolved in the unborn’ leaves no scope for anything.

And what is this unborn?

It is Your very notionless Existence.

How to get to this notionless Existence?

You are already, Now…, and Now

Pick up a notion?

But …,

Now.

It doesn’t matter.

All of this is the same as saying: God is Here,

is Your very Existence, is one Consciousness, one Being.

All these apparent distinctions are just waves on the ocean.

The ocean is only one.

And you don’t have to even remember this. Empty of all notions, this is just apparent to You. (Not apparent to your mind, but apparent to You.)

In the play of this world, there are only two ways to live:

God Now.

Or ‘me-ow’.

ॐ ॐ ॐ

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