BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

Ananta: Here is the game we should play. You say: “The thought that gives me the most suffering is ______. I surrender this thought at the Satguru’s feet.”

All of us go, one by one.

The thought that can still give me suffering is: ____________. I hereby surrender this thought at the Master’s feet/the Satguru’s feet.

1. That I don’t have the right answer and I surrender it at your feet.
2. That this is my life, and I want it to be like this or like that.
3.  Any thought that would make me believe suffering, I leave it at your feet.
4. I just surrender everything at your feet. I don’t know. Just leaving everything to you.
5. Feeling of unworthiness.
6. Thoughts are losing their power, so no important thoughts.
7. Fear of Insult.
8. Closest friend didn’t understand me (and) underlying fear of death.
9. Fear of depression and falling into believing the thoughts.
10. Cannot come up with anything; maybe something related to separation.
11. When there’s some strong energy in the body, ‘when will it finish?’
12. Fearful thoughts; not belonging, outsider-ship.
13. I don’t have one, I’m not suffering at all so I can’t make one up.
14. That I am not believed in what I say.
15. If family members who I love & who love me are suffering, then I will also suffer.
16. It’s about the people I love; if my kids were to die or if I were to die and they’d suffer.
17. How much longer will I be with this personhood & it will take a long time to be free of this burning.
18. Recurring pain from traumatic relationship I was in.
19. Whatever you feel should be taken away, please take that away.

Ananta: I want it all.

20. You live my life and take me home, that’s all I want.

Ananta: So we can say ‘You live my life’ and then no condition after that.

21. If I can’t come to Bangalore as much and whenever I want to come to be in your Presence.

Ananta: It’s mine now. You don’t have to worry about it.

22. That my Master will burn all that is false and am I ready for it; am I strong enough?
23. Nothing comes up. So much peace now. You live my life for me; I give it to you.
24. The fear of failed relationships, may not be there for children if they need me; any thought of separation from the Source.
25. The fear of losing the ones I love.
26. The desire to see my loved ones happy.

Ananta: May my Master’s grace remove any conditioning that might still be being believed. May he bless us all so that we shine with the light of the eternal Self. May our Presence become his Presence. May this sangha become the shining light of this universe.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11th October 2016 – Afternoon]

[Just after Anantaji had read from Ashtavakra Gita Chapter 2: 2.7-2.10)

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Q: It felt very arrogant to say (not me as a person) but ‘I am the center of the universe’. We have these concepts, conditioning or concepts, like the universe is there, it’s a thing, and we’re in it. And we wake up inside it.

A: And now, when we check with our experience, what are we finding? Is it resonating with what the sages are saying?

Q: Yeah, there is no universe.

A: When does it come alive? When I Am. When is it not there? When I am not. So, the light of this universe is my Presence, my Being. And then, he [Ashtavakra] says ‘So will the universe return to me’. This light of the universe, this Presence Itself dissolves; and only Awareness remains. What happened to the universe? It dissolved within Me.

Q: Basically when you sleep, when dreaming stops, it all returns back.

A: So, the ‘but’ is what? The ‘but’ is that ‘Oh, but that’s too arrogant’. But how is that arrogant. Let’s look at the concept of arrogance. Often I say that that mind makes everything upside-down.

So the mind says that ‘You are just a measly insect, a measly germ in this realm’. It says that ‘You must understand this idea about yourself; don’t try to see too arrogant’. Now, what would this imply? This would actually imply that there is one God and then there is me, the tiny, measly insect. But if that was true, how is it that this measly thing had the power to separate itself from God? In the same breath, we also say that ‘God is everywhere’. Many times we say ‘I’m leaving it to God to run my life’. So, what we’re mostly saying in the world is ‘God is everywhere but me’. Because if God is truly everywhere, there could be no ‘me’. And then we’ll create some notions about there being this B-I-G God and there being these tiny, tiny gods; aspects of Itself. Popular, popular notion.

But what is the recognition, what is the reality that we are discovering? Are we not finding the light of the universe right here? Are we not finding that the universe appears when I Am and the universe disappears when I am not? If we don’t go with any visual of ourself, if we don’t go with the sensation that is conveying that I have a boundary, and observe where even that sensation is experienced, what is the boundary of That One?

We’ve been checking over the last few days and seeing that all of this is happening within Me.

I’m not saying to take this on as concepts. To know this as words just conceptually would actually be a dis-service. That is why in most spiritual organizations (and I’ve been speaking to some of the swamis here also) [at Retreat center location] and they were saying that Ashtavakra is something that we do close to the very end of a long two year program (or something like this). Why? Because it has to come to the point where we come to the very direct recognition of these things. If you were just left with the concept ‘I Am’ or ‘I am Awareness’ it is not going to help in any way. In fact, it might even make the sense of an individual life even more oppressive; full of more suffering. Because you would be believing that you are this tiny bucket of flesh and blood, at the same time trying to believe that you are Awareness also; so when things happen you are trying to relate from both perspectives and trying to make the life of the individual better. All of those things can get mixed up.

So, when we’re looking at this now, we must ensure that we’re looking at these words and checking for ourself: Is this not my experience?

They [These words] have some credibility because Ashtavakra is saying them and Janaka is saying them and I am saying them to you in satsang. Use this credibility not to believe it, but to check on it. Most often we don’t have credibility in most things even to be open to looking at whether they are true or not. So at least, coming to satsang, when you say that ‘I’m coming to satsang’ you’re saying that ‘I have the credibility in this voice, I have a trust in this voice, enough to at least check’.

But don’t just take them on as ideas. Because if we take them on just as ideas then it is God-pretending-to-be-a-person-pretending-to-be-God. That is arrogance. Then I would say ‘That is arrogance’.

But coming to the discovery that You Are That (and you can smell it on yourself) when it is coming from a true place of recognition: I Am That. I Am the Witness of even this universe. The universe dissolves within Me.

So, you must not be shy to speak these words. But you must always (at least in the beginning) keep your nose open to smell. Is it coming just conceptually? Am I speaking from the true place of recognition? Or am I just trying to sound fancy or trying to sound spiritually evolved?

‘What is it for?’ is a good question.

Q: It just came, like, ‘Settle; before you say this’. It felt like the truth, and I could see. It’s like ‘Wow. All this time, believing this thing that’s not true. It’s clear’. It became like, basically, not to say it too soon; just to let it settle in.

A: But what is the discovery? The discovery is that all of this appearance is just an appearance and is spontaneously moving on its own. So, even if the saying of it has to happen like Janaka; he just heard the first few verses, 20 verses, and then he started speaking like this. There is no set template. Although if I were to give you advice, I would also say ‘Let it settle for a bit’. [Chuckles] It’s fine.

But if it has to move, like right now…, if someone starts speaking like Janaka is speaking, it would be very fulfilling. It would be very heart-warming actually. I would be very happy.

So, we don’t have to have a set template about it. But that’s why I said ‘Just keep your nose open to smell for it’…, to smell whether it is coming from some conceptual place, from trying to show ‘Hey, I got it!’ or something. Or just your mouth started moving on its own and it is speaking these words. And somewhere there are remnants of the old mind there saying ‘Wow’. [Laughs] That’s how the sharing started from here. It was like this. The words started moving from the mouth and the remnants of the old mind was saying ‘Not bad. This is good stuff’. [Chuckles]

So, false humility is as much arrogance as arrogance is. If we are in denial of our Seeing, that is as arrogant (if not more) as arrogance. So, don’t deny anything. Don’t be in a rush for anything. Allow it to move spontaneously.

The world (if you were to speak phenomenally for just a minute)…, if this realm needs something, it needs a million Ashtavakras. If all of them were sitting, saying ‘It would be too arrogant to speak’… [Chuckles] Of course, all of that is the will of Consciousness ultimately. But I said ‘speaking phenomenally for a minute’.

So, no false specialness. No false humility. Just a simple neutrality. And continuing to have the openness to be wrong…, this openness to be corrected by life; to be open to having the arrogance whacked out of you. Then, no trouble.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (2.10-2.14)

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Chapter 2: Joy of Self-Realization

Janaka says:

[2.10] As a pot returns to clay, a wave to water, a bracelet to gold, so will the universe return to Me.

[2.11] I am wonderful indeed– beyond adoration. I cannot decay nor ever die, though God and all the universe should perish to the last blade of grass.

[2.12] I am wonderful indeed– beyond adoration. Even with a body I am One. I neither come nor go. I am everywhere at once.

[2.13] I am wonderful indeed– beyond adoration. I am astounded at my powers. The universe appears within me but I do not touch it.

[2.14] I am wonderful indeed– beyond adoration. I am everything thought or spoken, and have nothing.

~ ~ ~

Ananta: I just want to read a few more and maybe come to a point where Ashtavakra asks him something. This voice was so beautiful: [Janaka says]: [2.10] ‘As a pot returns to clay, a wave to water, a bracelet to gold, so will the universe return to Me.’

Then verse 11. [2.11] ‘I am wonderful indeed…’ [Laughs] Arrogance? He says ‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration. I cannot decay nor ever die, though God and all the universe should perish to the last blade of grass.’

‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration.’ What does it mean? I am beyond That which is even the Supreme Lord, as we have been saying. Full of wonder; we can really wonder about that. As we come to the recognition of this, we are filled with a sense of wonder. And sometimes (and I’ve been making this point recently) I see many times we come to satsang and we keep hearing these words ‘You are not a person, You are Awareness’. And it’s become wonder-less many times. So, I try to get a sense of wonder in this sometimes. You are not a person! How wonderful is that! And you are recognizing this. What are You? You are not a person. What kind of discovery of this? This discovery which was only made available to a handful over centuries. Now through the graces of Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] and all the Masters, is now being brought to everyone. You are not a person. Even the light of Consciousness, this God, appears within You and dissolves back within you; the entire universe. What are You?

That’s why I have to laugh when someone says that Advaita is too boring or intellectual. I know how it can feel like that. But what is really being said? All our concepts are rubbish. All our ideas are rubbish. There is no individual entity here. All that exists is in the light of this One Consciousness. And from the perspective of the world, this light of Consciousness, Beingness this Consciousness is the Supreme Lord. But from what you really Are, even this is coming and going. You are THAT solitary witness to this entire play, this realm. Is that not wonderful? Beyond wonder?

‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration. I cannot decay nor ever die, though God and all the universe should perish to the last blade of grass.’ Who can say like this? Completely shocking to the mind, to say ‘…though God and all the universe should perish’. [Chuckles] ‘I cannot decay nor die’.

Now, one confusion that can come up is that some of you like to use the definition of God to be this Absolute Awareness Itself. So, if that is your definition of God, then the ‘I’ that cannot die is this One, God that cannot die. So it depends on what you are referring to as God. Usually in satsang what we refer to as God is this Consciousness; which also for that Absolute Awareness is also a coming and going. But I have no problem. If you want to refer to that Absolute Awareness, that Self-unchanging as God then that is fine. But just know that when the sage is speaking about God, he’s talking about Consciousness also coming up and dissolving within Awareness.

Verse 12, and Janaka again starts with [2.12] ‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration. Even with a body, I am One. I neither come nor go. I am everywhere at once.’

He says ‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration. Even with a body, I am One.’ So, what does this mean? Even though the body appears and seems so intimate, and tries to convince me that I am this through the play of its sensations, I see that I am That One, the eternal Witness, untouched by the coming and going of this body; because ‘I neither come nor go’. This body will come and go, but That which Witnesses this body will neither come nor go.

And ‘I am everywhere at once’. Another way that we say it is that everywhere is within Me. Time and space are within Me, so there is nowhere where I am not. Because if the entirety of space is just an appearance within Myself, then where can I not be? I am everywhere.

Verse 13. [2.13] Okay, now Janaka is really getting full of it. ‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration.’ (I’m sure Ashtavakra is going to come with a chop soon.) [Laughs and laughter in the room]

‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration. I am astounded at my powers.’ [Laughter] (Chop is coming.) ‘I am astounded at my powers.’ He is speaking the truth, and it’s coming from a very beautiful place.

‘I am astounded at my powers. The universe appears within me but I do not touch it.’ And it does not touch Me. Very beautiful, very beautiful. So, we’ve explained all this.

Guess how the next one starts? [Smiles] [2.14] ‘I am wonderful indeed’. But it is also refreshing like this, because you know what happens with the seeker mindset? ‘I’m so stuck. I’m just not there. It’s not happening. Maybe next retreat’…, all this stuff keeps going on. So, it’s very refreshing to hear someone say ‘I am wonderful indeed!’ But if it’s instead like ‘I am wonderful indeed, I am the king of this universe!’ that is a Ravana voice. So, we have to smell for that, but otherwise, beautiful words.

‘I am wonderful indeed; beyond adoration. I am everything thought or spoken, and have nothing.’

‘I am everything thought or spoken’ because everything is made up of Consciousness; thoughts, words, all of this is also of the play of Consciousness. So, who is thinking, who is speaking? Consciousness Itself. So, these words are Itself playing with Itself.

‘…and have nothing’. You see? That which has everything doesn’t say ‘I have something’.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

Q: You made some passing remarks earlier in satsang. You said that ‘The entire universe is like a speck’. So, how does it play? Can you explain it, Father?

A: Let’s see. These are things where language fails us usually. But if you check right now, and you sense the Presence of Your Being, and also get a sense for That which is aware of even this Being, you find that this recognition is beyond the realm of time and space; This Awareness. You instantly come to this Seeing of Yourself as timeless, as space-less.

Just to put it simply, if you were to say ‘What is the approximate age of this Awareness that you’re discovering?’ It cannot have an age. That which has no attributes is the timeless. What are the dimensions of This Awareness? You find that Awareness just IS. But it is dimension-less.

Then when you contrast this against the play of Beingness and the appearance of this phenomenal realm, you start to find that even this seemingly-infinite Being (as opposed to this no-thing) is at best a firefly glittering in the dark.

So, these insights will be experiential. And you will find that this Beingness…,

Now, also we must be a bit careful when we say these kind of things, which is that sometimes it can be that to prove within this realm that ‘I have absolutely come to the absolute discovery’ (and sometimes we make these kind of statements, but the fact is that) they can be spoken only from such a place of pure insight, speaking from the perspective of Awareness. Because, in the light of this realm, this Being that we are talking about just being a speck actually is the God of this realm; is the light and the screen of this realm.

But even that, compared to Your ultimate reality is just another coming and going. The Lord of this universe is a speck within You and it dissolves back within You.

So, let these words come from your own discovery rather than me giving you more concepts about this.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

Q: Father, anything you can say finite or measureable has to be the other end of the attention, so only then you can say it is finite or infinite; measureable. So, when I check about Awareness (Am I aware now?) attention just goes to its source. Things merge; so it doesn’t stay as attention when the recognition is there. So, you cannot even say ‘The Awareness is infinite’ or something, because you don’t know. The attention itself goes back to it. So, it’s like a black hole which might have potential to create infiniteness but It Itself cannot be finite or infinite. Right?

A: Yes. That is why it is important to see that attention tells you about the things which are phenomenal to life. Using attention, (maya means also ‘to measure’), so using our attention, we can get the measure of things; we can fathom things. But that is only when it applies to the phenomenal realm. Attention is a tool that works in accordance with our Being to bring all of this phenomenal play (the appearance) into life for us.

Now, you yourself say that ‘When I check: Am I aware now?’ I find that attention has no role to play; that’s why the discovery I’m making must be non-phenomenal. Now, what can we truly say about that which is non-phenomenal? Does it have a size, a shape? We cannot truly say anything. But, there might come a point where this insight seems true to you, which is that ‘That which is phenomenal is just a coming and going. It is a coming and going. But this non-phenomenal is My eternal Self’.

Now, this cannot be pointed to accurately with any words. But to point to it in this play, we have to try and use some words. So, that Awareness that you’re checking now, if you had to pick a label which was whether it is transparent or opaque, what would you pick?

Q: Transparent.

A: But can you really say that?

Q: No.

A: Because even transparency and opaque-ness you check with attention. Isn’t it? So, in the same way, when we’re giving these kind of attributes to the attribute-less One, they are making the pick (in phenomenal terms) of that which sounds true-r…, but is not ultimately true.

Q: So, also it is true that nobody is touched or untouched, because even to check whether it is touched or untouched, you need attention to compare it.

A: To see that That which is not in this realm at all…, that is the discovery. Isn’t it? There is this phenomenal realm of appearance and the Awareness that I’m finding Myself to be…, (when I used to say this, though, people used to get shocked, because I used to say) ‘You are not in this universe at all. This universe is just an appearance within You’.

So, if You’re not in this universe at all, because you’re not phenomenal at all (and this is a phenomenal play) then between ‘touched’ and ‘untouched’ what will you pick?

Q: Untouched.

A: Good.

Q: But still it is a conclusion, right? It may be the closest, but…

A: Yes. Because the concept of ‘touching’ cannot apply. To That which is non-phenomenal, a phenomenal term like ‘touched’ does not apply.

Q Yes, exactly. That’s why I was confused.

A: Exactly. But terms are available only phenomenally.

Q: Even ‘Awareness’ is not true.

A: Even ‘Awareness’ is not true. Yes. Very good.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

Q: How do you invoke the Guru? How do you find him and where do you find him?

In your Presence, when we talk about Ashtavakra, the real feeling is Amrit is here to drop. That’s what we are. But when we’re out, then the feeling kind of fades away and you don’t know how to invoke that back.

A: How to invoke my Presence is easy. Monday at 11 am you log onto Facebook [Laughing] … [to find the link to online satsang which happens Monday-Friday weekly, usually.]

I know what you mean. The Presence of your Being, the unassociated Being is the Satguru. The power of the Satguru is that the appearance of such a One in this phenomenal realm shows you that there is a complete possibility to remain unassociated with the ego and that the normal functioning of life can still continue. And, in fact, it’s a beautiful appearance which is so magnetic.

The outer Satguru is only pointing us to the true Satguru within. How to invoke this One?

To find the Presence ‘I Am’ [check to see]: Can you stop being now?

This Beingness, unassociated with any concept, is the Satguru. Always, at the core of your existence, it is only This.

Q: But is he so dumb that he cannot act on his own; your inner Satguru?

A: ‘On his own’ means what?

Q: The inner Satguru may be your intuition, spiritual intuition?

A: Let me explain. Now, Consciousness (we have seen) has the power of pretense, the power of belief. And in most of humanity, it is picking up ideas about Itself and pretending as if it is personal. But even in the pretense, the reality of it is unchanged. So it is the will of the Satguru, it is the will of Consciousness to experience Itself in a personal way, that it is operating like that.

Now, (it is designed for Itself, this play) to get rid of all this conditioning, even that it wants variety and music, drama; it wants all of that to happen so it has designed all these various paths for Itself, to free itself from this delusion of personhood. So, some will do karma yoga, some will do raja yoga, some will do self-inquiry, some will do hatha yoga…, all of these various things they will do. If the urge is real, then with the urge for dropping of all that is conditioning. So, this is what is happening, where the Consciousness playing with interest in the personal game is adding more and more conditioning to Itself. And Consciousness losing interest in the personal game and wanting to return to Its own simplicity, Its own innocence, is following the spiritual path which it has created to free Itself from all of this conditioning.

Q: So, when I say that ‘I can’t find my inner Guru’ …, just have more faith, devotion, sincerity…, and that’s all?

A: Depending upon your temperament, the path which is most appealing to you is the path to the Satguru. For some, words like ‘Faith, devotion, service, love’…, they sound like terrible words. For some, words like ‘Inquiry, intellect, asking yourself questions’…, they sound like terrible words. So, (just like we were sharing, depending on your temperament) there are various forms available in Hinduism. [The speaker is presumably Hindu] So if you’re attracted naturally to the righteous aspect of Consciousness, you can choose Ram as your deity, and surrender everything at the feet of Ram. If you’re attracted to another aspect, I’m sure there will be another god available for whatever aspect. There are millions of gods. But the purpose of that form is to become the object of your devotion so that it can lead you to the formless.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Afternoon]

Reading from and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (2.7-2.10)

~ ~ ~

Chapter 2: Joy of Self-Realization

Janaka continues:

[2.7] Not seeing Self, the world is materialized. Seeing Self, the world is vanished. A rope is not a snake, but can appear to be.

[2.8] I am not other than Light. The universe manifests at my glance.

[2.9] The mirage of universe appears in me as silver appears in mother-of-pearl, as a snake appears in a rope, as water appears on a desert horizon.

[2.10] As a pot returns to clay, a wave to water, a bracelet to gold, so will the universe return to Me.

~ ~ ~

Ananta: Then, the second part of verse 7 was ‘A rope is not a snake, but can appear to be’. So, we talked about the unreality or the changing nature of this realm, but it can seem like ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’ in this realm. Many of you, sometimes you ask ‘Why did Consciousness create all this trouble?’ [Chuckles] And it’s a fair question; that if it is really beyond this, then why create all this trouble? First, why create the power of belief that itself. If it is belief that leads to identity, that leads to suffering, then why do all of this drama? What is it getting?

Like I say, for me, my favorite answer to this is ‘It is all for Its entertainment. It’s a leela for Itself’. How do we check this? We check on what we like for our own entertainment. [Chuckles] What are the books we like to read? What are the movies we like to see? If you don’t start to relate to the character, believe that you are the character, the protagonist, then the movie will be lifeless for you. If you cannot relate to the protagonist in the book or at least one of the characters in the book, then the book is lifeless for you. In a video game, if you cannot understand what your mission is, who you are in the game that is just appearing (hundreds of things just appearing and they’re going). You understand who you are; what you have to do. Who you are is your identity. What you have to do is your mission or doership. So, in this ‘video game’ also, to make it seem like it has some joy in it, Consciousness created It for Itself, the power to believe Itself to be just this measly body/mind organism. Why? Because It wants to play this way.

Now, I say that this is my favorite answer because I’m not claiming that this is the truth. Nobody can tell you what is the truth of this creation; why it was created. I can give you some options. I have told you my favorite one. You can also have another one, which is also very nice, which is that only when this creation happens does this Being experience love. So, we are here to experience love. So, if this one appeals to you, you can use this one. [Chuckles]

The point of most answers is to get the question to go away. [Laughs] It is not to tell you the truth. The point of most answers is to get the question to go away. So, if you feel like ‘Ah, yes, this realm is created to experience this Love and peace and joy and bliss’ then pick that answer.

Some others that don’t really appeal to me too much are the evolution of Consciousness Itself. Consciousness going from a lower level and creating this school for itself so it can progress to a higher level. All kinds of answers are available. My favorite is the entertainment one; and I would say second favorite would be the experience of love.

So, ‘A rope is not a snake, but can appear to be’. And this ‘can seem to be, can appear to be’ is also by the design of Consciousness. So, it is not that Consciousness has fallen into some sort of a trap and now must be rescued through satsang. Although we call it a ‘rehab’ for Consciousness Itself by Consciousness Itself, it is the game of rehab. So, all of this is the design of Consciousness to play the game and to also play the ‘getting out of’ the game; which is what we’re all (as One Consciousness) experiencing.

Okay, look at this one. [2.8] ‘I am not other than Light. The universe manifests at my glance.’ At my glance means? The universe appears; the sense ‘I Am’ and the universe is. Just in a glance; just in the appearance of this light, this manifest world appears. And this happens every day.

None of this is abstract. The mind comes and says ‘This is too far out’. You wake up in the morning, there is a sense of existence, and the universe IS. The dissolution of our attention and the dropping away, the dissolving of Beingness back into just Its source of Awareness is the end of the manifest creation. So, ‘The universe manifests at my glance’.

Verse 9. [2.9] ‘The mirage of universe appears in me as silver appears in mother-of-pearl, as a snake appears in a rope, as water appears on a desert horizon.’

Beautiful. So, all this aspect of creation that we’ve discussed already, the sage Janaka now is giving us examples of this. ‘The mirage of universe appears in me as silver appears in mother-of-pearl’ …, so actually, there is no silver (right?) in mother-of-pearl. It must be just appearing as if there is silver. And ‘as a snake appears in a rope, as water appears on a desert horizon’ which is the mirage.

So, all of this, as Guruji [Mooji] says, is ‘one big seeming’. All of this is ‘one big seeming’. Or, as Papaji [HWL Pooja] says ‘Nothing has ever really happened’. [Chuckles] Now, we’re starting to understand what this kind of terminology means. Without us settling into our recognition, these words can sound very strange. ‘What do you mean nothing has ever really happened? Aren’t you seeing these worlds? At least that has happened.’ So now you’re starting to realize what it means. ‘…as silver appears in mother-of-pearl, as a snake appears in a rope, as water appears on a desert horizon’ all are just mirages.

[2.10] ‘As a pot returns to clay, a wave to water, a bracelet to gold, so will the universe return to Me.’ Who can say these kind of words? ‘…so will this universe return to me.’

As these words are being spoken to you, is it like it is being spoken about somebody else? Or is it about you? Hmmm? Or is it about ‘You, but…’ Let’s chop off the head of this Ravan with the ‘but…’ now. Too much ‘but, but, but, but, but’.

Go with what you’re Seeing.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

This kind of pointing is completely destructive to that which is false. But in the dissolution of the false, your Presence will start to shine with so much light. And even the worldly-appearance Beings will start coming to you, saying ‘There’s something different about you’.

Sometimes, you expect that to happen, and then you’re asked whether you’re the auto-rickshaw driver. [Room breaks into laughter]

[Laughs] Somebody here was in satsang with Guruji [Moojiji, in Rishikesh] and he just felt (that day) that he was Janaka. It was clear! He got it! He felt like something must be glowing and radiant from him.

And then, he stepped out of the satsang hall, came out of the satsang gate, and this lady started walking toward him.

He felt ‘Is it starting to happen now?! Are people starting to recognize my light?’

And she comes to him and says ‘Are you the auto-rickshaw driver?’ [Laughing]

[Room erupts in laughter]

That’s also strong satsang, no? To see our expectations, to see our idea that ‘I might have gotten somewhere’. And how that also, life crushes.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

~ ~ ~
[Dussehra Celebration Day:
Victory of the Light over the darkness of Ignorance]
~ ~ ~

The Guru’s Presence is the Presence of Ram in our life, the Light which can chop the head off of that which is seemingly the root of suffering; this ego identity.

May all auspiciousness come into your life today and for all days to come.

May we all celebrate this death of the false, the death of the spiritual ego Ravan.

With great joy and wonder, may we enjoy our Presence.

May our heads always be at the feet of the Satguru.

Satguru Moojiji ki Jai !

Sangha: Satguru Anantaji ki Jai !  Satguru Ramji ki Jai !

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

[Ananta Reads from and Comments on the Ashtavakra Gita: 2.1-2.7]

~ ~ ~

A: So, were on Chapter 2 of the Ashtavakra Gita, which is ‘The Joy of Self-Realization’. Let me just run through the first few verses that we covered yesterday. So, Janaka now realized through the pointings of the Master what his Reality is. And now Janaka is speaking from that space and he’s expressing the joy of Self-Realization. He says:

[2.1] I am now spotless and at peace; Awareness beyond Consciousness. All this time I have been duped by illusion.

[2.2]  By this light alone the body and the universe appear. I am Everything or Nothing.

[2.3] Seeing there is no universe or body, by grace the Self is revealed.

[2.4] As waves, foam and bubbles are not different from water, so the universe emanating from Self is not different from Self.

[2.5] Look closely at cloth, you see only threads. Look closely at creation, you see only Self.

Then, verse number 6 says:

[2.6] As sweetness pervades sugarcane juice, I am the essence of creation.

‘As sweetness pervades sugarcane juice, I am the essence of creation.’ So, this ‘I Am’ is the fundamental basis of existence. It is Existence Itself. We cannot say something exists before ‘I’ exist. We cannot say something IS, before this ‘I Am’. So, we can say that this entire manifest world relies on this existence; One Existence, One Consciousness.

Don’t try to visualize this. Confirm that this is true. That appearance exists only when I am. Another seems to appear only when I am. So, this ‘I-Am-ness’ is the Source and it cannot be removed from the world; just like the sage says you cannot remove sweetness from the sugarcane juice because it is all-pervasive. In the same way, this Atma, this One Being, this Om is all-pervasive. The light of Consciousness and all appearances on the screen of Consciousness.

So, with this, the idea of ‘me’ and ‘another’ starts to fade away. The idea of separation starts to fade away. Because we check: Where is all of this? Where is all of this? Is it not inside Me? All that is being experienced now, where is it being experienced?

Is there any other space besides this one space of experiencing?

Both the outer and inner are experience in this One space of Being.

So, ‘I am the essence of creation’. So, verse 7:

[2.7] Not seeing Self, the world is materialized. Seeing Self, the world is vanished. A rope is not a snake, but can appear to be.

So, what does it mean? ‘Not seeing the Self, the world is materialized’ means what? As long as Being doesn’t come to the recognition of the Self, it can seem like the world has a fundamental reality. It can seem like this realm is real or it is substantive [substance] as long as we are not recognizing who we really are.

Once the Self is Seen, is recognized, then the world is vanished. What does it mean? Does it mean that the world of appearance will stop coming? No. The appearance will continue. Because even Janaka is speaking these words in the phenomenal realm, isn’t it? So, the phenomenal appearance continues to appear, but the sense of dependence on it, the sense of reality about it…

And what do we mean by ‘unreal’? We mean that it is not the truth because it is changing. And we’ve been saying the last few days that the truth is unchanging. Maya is that which is changing. And if you rely on that which is changing to be the truth, what happens to us? We suffer.

Every time we have suffered, we have misunderstood something which is changing to be unchanging. Look at our relationships. We get into a relationship and we feel like it will be the BEST thing, and we feel like ‘Now, nothing should change. I should just have it’. And then, when things start changing (because change is the way of this realm) then we start to suffer. Or sometimes it is also the other way. We want things to change faster than they are. We want our partner to change according to who we are. Just the same things that attracted us to that one, then when we seem to own that one, we want that one to conform to our image.

So, to expect the unchanging not to change, and to expect that this false one will be able to change something in this realm; both are the cause of suffering. The need for this is the resistance to ‘What Is’. That we either we don’t want it to change or we want to change it in a different way or faster than it is changing is the resistance to ‘What Is’. And it is this resistance to ‘What Is’ that is the ego.

So, this simple allowing, this simple openness is what we’ve been pointing to. You cannot be open and the ego at the same time. You cannot be open and suffer at the same time. Because this is the true acceptance. This is not the type of egoistic acceptance that we have in relationships sometimes. ‘Yes, yes, you are not up to the mark, but still I accept you’. [Chuckles] It’s not that kind of acceptance. It is that acceptance that ‘What Is, Just Is’. Allowing this realm to appear as it is appearing.

We find a way to resist everything. Sometimes I get some feedback from some of you that you are resisting me sometimes. You’re saying ‘I didn’t like this’ or ‘I didn’t like how you were’ or she said ‘I’m not liking you right now’. And even that, when you just check (even quantitatively) it is usually based just on a projection that we have. So, we can resist this life, everything in this life, this teaching, the inquiry, the teacher. Basically it is the unacceptance of our own Self; we want to make something out of no-thing. This attempt to making something out of no-thing is the fallacy. ‘I will become something. I will become free. I am free now and I’m going to keep it!’ All of these ideas which still lead to this idea that ‘I am still something’.

Can we accept our non-phenomenal reality…, that we don’t really exist as people, firstly, as an ego, firstly? And secondly, as this phenomenal appearance, which is just this tiny toenail in terms of the reality of who I Am?

Can we accept that we are no-thing? And not acceptance mentally. But can we come to terms with our direct recognition of who we are…, instead of giving that also to the mind and making something out of it?

So, we find that we are This no-thing, and the instant we even give that to the mind, the mind will say ‘Yes, that was quite an experience Maybe we should just aim for these experiences all the time’. And immediately you went to this ‘I’ again that says that ‘I must do something. I must keep this. I have found this’. All of it is a fallacy. There is nobody there. (Like we were saying yesterday) there is nobody there. There is nothing there. No-thing there.

And I’ve also tried to debunk this notion (because language can be a very confusing thing) that the ‘no-thing’ is the ‘no-thing’ which is the absence of phenomena; like the empty nothing. The no-thing that you Are is this primal Knowing; the Knowingness, the Awareness. I want to say ‘Intelligence’ but even the word ‘intelligent’ will not suffice for it. It is beyond intelligence. It is That from which all of this comes. Consciousness is just an aspect of This.

What must that be, of which Consciousness is just an aspect; of which God is just an aspect? And from that aspect comes all of this. Light, sound, biology, physics…, this crazy world of these spinning balls, trillions and trillions of planets, these tiny balls spinning and expanding. All of this is coming out from an aspect of YOU. Can You fathom your greatness? [Silence] You cannot actually. [Chuckles]

What are You, that you start moving in one direction…, in this realm you start traveling; even at the speed of light, you will not come to the end of the universe.

What are You, that This is born within You; unlimited potential for experience, unlimited time, unlimited space? Infinite infinities come from within You. What are You?

So, it is not that ‘Oh, nothing. Just nothing! What’s the point? This satsang is so nihilistic’. Sometimes people start feeling that Advaita is nihilism. ‘Nihilism’ means just empty and meaningless and dark and gloomy; and we write sad stories about being nothing. It’s not this! [Chuckles]

This is the FULL nothing; full of potential and yet not dependent on the potential.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

Q: This morning, death came to visit me, Father. Ah…, I have to say, I got scared.

A: What was it offering to take from you?

Q: This ‘me’. And initially, it was really nice because I could just watch it and I could sense this fear just fill up my Being. And initially there was an allowing of it but it became really powerful and I wanted to run; pull my hair out, just pull it out. [Laughter in the room] I wanted to wake up right now. And I actually came and sat outside your door for a short while because I just wanted to be close to you. Then I went and had some tea or whatever and I came back. And then again, I sat down and I kind of invited this fear again. You know? Again it came, and this time there was an allowing, Father, but it didn’t seem so intense this time around. I don’t know what. And I have to say there was a little bit of guilt that came up about…, because when you asked ‘Are you willing to die for freedom?’ the answer was that there was fear. I know it’s all stupid …

A: No, it’s okay.

Q: …but the allowing wasn’t complete, Father.

A: In itself, it’s so beautiful. Even this much allowing is a lot. Because if something comes like that and you feel ‘It’s over now. Everything that I’m attached to is going to be snatched away right now, this instant’ then some fear is bound to come with that. And even to say that ‘I sat with it for some time, with the allowing’ is very beautiful, it’s very powerful.

We must not be too hard on ourselves. All this is beautiful Grace and is a fruit of your openness to your looking at who you are. And then you will find that as more and more you can make this kind of invitation, that ‘Okay, even if Yamraj, death, has to come and take away whatever it can take away, I am open’. Just to make that invitation is very, very beautiful. Because it means that you are open to the dissolution of this phenomenal realm, even within the experience of this phenomenal realm. You’re open to waking up from this waking state to allow the false to die while you’re still alive.

So, guilt has no place in this right now. Only a rare one can say ‘I felt fear but then I still made an invitation for it to come back’. So, now, what to do?

Now you forget about even death. You continue with your recognition, your Seeing of who you are and dropping any ideas about yourself. And if an experience like that has to visit again, it will. If it doesn’t have to visit, that’s okay. Whether it is explosive or sober, don’t even worry about that.

Also very beautiful; I understood something about the Chinmaya Mission [where the retreat is being held] the other day (and it is kind of a paradigm-shifter for me also to hear this)…, they say they make no distinction between the teachers. They don’t make a distinction that this one is realized, this one is not realized; whether this one is an Awakened Being or not. Because when they come, they’re sharing the words of their Master, with his blessing. And I realized it’s so beautiful to drop this kind of mental distinction; just to allow it. To see that if I come into the Presence of someone and there is something being clarified, made clear, then that is enough. Why we have to go and make these benchmarks ‘Oh, he is my Guru; he cannot be my Guru because he is realized but he is not realized’. Who is to say these things? Better to See, enjoy the Presence, See what the Presence feels like to you and be with the integrity of your own truth. I feel many times we get caught up in these games. And when you drop it from the outside then you’ll drop this pressure also from the inside ‘I have to get this realization. I have to get this enlightenment. I have to get this’.

What is it that you are not already? You Are this Awareness. The only seeming-distinction in this realm is that the One God is pretending to play person/person more somewhere and less somewhere else. Fundamentally, is there any difference? No. All is this One Consciousness. All is this One Being.

And all of you coming to satsang are getting the recognition of who You Are and are also dropping the false conditioning very beautifully. You don’t have to attain some benchmark. There is no 100% enlightenment. All the sages that I have met also have believed a thought. Only the duration of the belief seems to contract more and more. In this apparent play, the play of conditioning will continue to play out for all apparent Beings. All that we can do is to See who we Are and to not buy that which is false. That’s all that’s need.

In this moment, you are as much a sage as anyone else. Now, Now, Now; before you have the chance to think about it. All the sages are saying the same thing, that ‘You and I are One’. And even in the worldly play, we are the same. They are saying that. Except you seem to be believing more of what the mind is saying. I’m saying what the sage would say; you seem to be believing more of what this mind is saying, I seem to be believing less. That’s all.

Death cannot hurt this Seeing. Death is also Seen. All states are Seen. And there’s nothing to be so scared about death because you experience sleep every night where everything dies; the universe dissolves. Only we give ourselves some false consolation by saying ‘Oh, but it will be back here tomorrow again’. We don’t know which realm will appear. If a dream can last a lifetime, there can be a million dreams that can last a million lifetimes.

So, nothing so much to fear about death. But it is natural because we have had ideas about death, so it is natural for some fears to come.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 11^th October 2016 – Morning]

Reading & Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (2.4-2.5)

~ ~ ~

Chapter 2: Joy of Self-Realization

Janaka said:

[2.4] As waves, foam and bubbles are not different from water, so the universe emanating from Self is not different from Self.

[2.5] Look closely at cloth, you see only threads. Look closely at creation, you see only Self.

~ ~ ~

A: [2.4] ‘As waves foam and bubbles are no different from water, so the Universe emanating from Self is not different from the Self’.

That’s why we said that like the hand and the finger appearing does not mean that something happened to the hand or that the hand is no longer the hand, or the finger is not the hand. It is this appearance of these waves that can appear and disappear within the Self, with no bearing on the Self Itself which remains untouched, unchanging and unmoved.

‘The Universe is emanating from the Self’. We just discussed this, isn’t it? We have experienced that there was no thing in that which we call the sleep state; and then we have the experience that ‘I Am’ now. So, if Awareness was all there is (is all there is) then even this wave of Consciousness, this ocean of Consciousness, it must be made up of what? This Awareness itself. And it is seen that it is ‘I Am’.

Many times in Advaita it can sound like (to make a qualitative distinction between Awareness and Consciousness) it can seem like ‘Oh, but there’s a duality’. It can seem like that. That’s why I have to re-emphasize this point over and over, that it is ‘I’ which is ‘Am’, ‘I Am’. Awareness Being; not separate, One, but playing as if the yin and yang, Shiva and Parvati. So, the unmanifest and the manifest are playing as if they are separate, but actually they are One. It is ‘I’ which is ‘Am’. Shiva and Parvati are One. Yin and yang are one.

Q: Son and the Father.

A: We can say son and Father only because this Awareness is Present from which this Being comes. But the son is no different from the Father fundamentally. That which arises within Awareness is also made up of Awareness itself. So, we refer to it as ‘son and Father’ because Father is there and then son arises from Source; so this is the Awareness exactly.

‘As waves foam and bubbles are no different from water, so the Universe emanating from Self is no different from the Self’. ‘I Am’ is not different from ‘I’. It is ‘I Am’.

Then Janaka continues to say [2.5] ‘Look closely at cloth, you see only threads. Look closely at creation you see only Self.’

Look closely. You see? I said after the break when I started sharing Satsang again, I said my provocation, my invitation to you, is to look deeply, look deeply:

What is going on?

What is here?

Look. And if you just look (leaving aside all conceptualization, all interpretation) you cannot escape this Self. All that is needed is this open looking, simple Seeing. You are here. You don’t need to look for the Self somewhere else.

What is here?

If all that is phenomenal is an appearance, who is this appearance appearing to?

Who is the Witness of these appearances?

Is it not You?

Is it not the Self?

Then all separation, all boundaries, even distinction between Awareness and Consciousness will be meaningless and you see that all of this is One Self.

And this looking deeply is the opposite of picking up a lot of spiritual concepts. Because the picking up of spiritual concepts is just this game of God-pretending-to-be-a-person and then the person-pretending-to-be-God again. When we go in that direction, we attach more things to this sense ‘I Am’. So, then it is God (‘I Am’) then pretending as if it is a spiritual person, or a realized person; and then that one pretending to be God (which is the most burdensome way to live).

Instead of that, we are coming to the dropping of this conceptual understanding, and coming to this simple looking:

Before I can pick up any pretense at all: What am I?

Who Witnesses my waking?

Who Witnesses my sleep?

Who knows right now that I exist?

Who is Aware of my existence?

It is You, it is ‘I’.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 – Morning]

Q: Now there is fantastic joy!

A: What else?

Q: Bliss, joy, abundance!

A: [Laughter]

Q: Just being with you…, too much of spoon-feeding, you know? So much love. So much love. [Silence] All those things don’t matter. Just drown in this love. That’s enough. Don’t you think so?

Q: So much love. So much love. [Silence] All those things don’t matter. Just drown in this love. That’s enough. Don’t you think so?

A: This too shall pass.

Q: This too shall pass?

A: I ought to give him the bad news. [Chuckles]

Q: Yeah, let it come.

A: Something happens, somebody tells you something …, then? Tears. ‘Why, why? I’m so caught up in my conditioning’. Whose voice is that one? You see? So, these are the ups and downs of the wave. Sometimes so much bliss, bliss, bliss. Sometimes so much grief, grief, grief.

When bliss comes, it feels like ‘Oh, this will not go. This will be like this’. And we feel like that. When grief comes, we feel sad because we feel like ‘Oh, but this might never go. I’m feeling so much sadness’. But in both cases, this too shall pass. What is it that will not pass?

Q: That which Sees this. That which Sees this. Yeah.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 – Morning]

Q: About the labeling, if everything is from Consciousness, if everything is just One, then the mind is labeling every object individually, because there is this space between the objects. But actually the space and the object is the same thing.

A: Just like the dream is one dream…

Q: Then that space is just a different quality of Consciousness. So, it’s really not label-able, you can’t really label the difference between one object to the other and the space in between.

A: Yes. The mind’s attempt to ultimately prove to you that the separation happened. So, to prove to you that the separation happened, it has to show you this world of separate-ness. And to show you this world of separateness, where it says ‘Okay, that one is this one, this one is this one, this one is this one’. It starts to put labels. And with our beliefs we give meaning to these labels.

Q: Even between…

A: Yes, even between. That’s why when somebody says ‘What about my Being and her Being?’ I say ‘What about the space in between? Is that not the same Being?’ Isn’t it?

Q: And even between like a living thing and a non-living thing, there is no difference in that sense. So, labeling doesn’t make sense.

A: Doesn’t make sense; yeah. It is not the truth. Can we live like this? Yes, we can.

Q: Then it’s not possible to label things actually. [Pause] But…

A: Yeah.

Q: But …

A: [Laughs] I was waiting… [For the ‘but…’]

Q: Nothing…

A: Very good. So, like this we see, not just space but also time. How are we experiencing the movement of time? We are not. (Okay, let’s not go there.) All of infinity is Here Now.

Q: But then there is no movement, Father.

A: There is no movement. That’s what I am saying.

Q: This Now; the ‘that now’ and ‘this now’ is The Now. Does that make sense?

A: Yeah. I mean to the world it won’t make sense, but it makes sense.

The oneness of time, for the mind, is really very, very confusing. So, one decent example (but not very accurate example) is to say that it is as if you are watching this very beautiful large canvas. It is all already there, but we are using our attention to watch it in a flow. So, the canvas is there and the attention gives the sense of movement of space and time. You see? Even science has discovered this space / time continuum. Einstein theory of relativity says that if you are moving in the three dimensions, the seeming-three dimensions, at a particular speed, then you are moving that much slower in the dimension of time. So, if I was walking, time would move slower for me than it would move for you, because you are sitting. So, time and space are one continuum.

The four dimensions; (and who decided this limit?) Maybe this is like level four, class four where these four dimensions are being experienced. [Laughs] It could be. Many have said they have experienced sixteen dimensions (we won’t go too much into all that but) the fact is that in this sensory tool that we have in this realm, we seem to experience these three dimensions as if they are in space; and the fourth dimension as if we move in that dimension of time. But it could be another set of sensory tools you could have, where you would see that the four dimensions are visible to you as if they were space; and there is a fifth dimension, which is appearing as if it is time. So, just [Laughs] don’t worry too much about this. Just like watching the painting, we start from one side of the painting and you are watching it; it is a huge canvas. And you are watching, watching, watching. It seems like time is flowing. But it is not flowing for the painting. It is one painting. Attention is moving in space and time and it seems like the flow of space and time is happening. It’s not very accurate as an example, but this is where words are not that useful.

You have to rely on your own inner insights, which will continue to come. So, all of you who are feeling that ‘Oh, this recognition and dropping the false is some very boring kind of nothingness, limbo type of state’ …, it is not like that. These are the kind of insights that you will start Seeing and it will be so apparent that it is your living reality. Scientists are discovering this and similar things after hundreds of years of research. But these just come as insight to you and you see things as they are appearing. So, it doesn’t become boring. It is very insightful.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 – Morning]

Anantaji Reading and Commenting on Ashtavakra Gita

Recaps Chapter 1, Begins Chapter 2, Reads [2.1-2.2]

~ ~ ~

Ananta: So, this one, Ashtavakra, in the beginning (those who heard the introduction) it is said that it is a unique scripture because Janaka gets it in Chapter 1. From Chapter 2 onwards, it is like a conversation between two sages. So, Janaka has also realized himself just by the power of the verses and the power of the Presence of Ashtavakra. And Chapter 2 onwards it is a conversation between two sages. But in the introduction, it was said that Ashtavakra also tests Janaka; tests his realization (so to speak). So, it sounds like a bit of fun also. Can we sample a bit of Chapter 2?

Chapter 2 is ‘The Joy of Self-Realization’. In the first verse [2.1] Janaka says: “I am now spotless and at peace. Awareness beyond Consciousness.”  Look at that! “All this time I have been duped by illusion.”

How beautiful. The first words to speak after the initial question are of such clarity. ‘I am now spotless and at peace.’ Spotless; attribute-less. Peace of the kind which is beyond this phenomenal peace which can come and go. That which is unchanging, unmoving. That kind of peace.

Then he says ‘Awareness beyond Consciousness’. So, the distinction between the two questions [which Ananta asks as main pointers] ‘Can I stop being now?’ which makes it clear ‘I Am that I Am’…, but ‘Are You Aware Now?’ takes you even deeper to this recognition: I am that Awareness which is even prior to Consciousness.

The first thing that Janaka says are these words: ‘I am now spotless and at peace. Awareness beyond Consciousness. All this time I have been duped by illusion.’

Like this, we say ‘It has always been this. But I was just believing myself to be just this object in this realm. So, the appearance of this illusion, the appearance of this maya, then duped me with the appearance of these thoughts which were believed’. That is why the ego is the greatest con artist.

We were watching one scene from this movie called ‘The Revolver’ where the ego is the villain. And they say that ‘The greatest con that this villain has ever pulled is to convince you that you are that’. This con artist, this duping artist, has been playing here and we seem to have gotten into this pretense of personhood. Once we see that ‘Actually I am that Awareness, which is even prior to Consciousness, which is aware even of Consciousness’ then all this play of the individual, play of the body/mind, all of this seems very natural.

‘I am now spotless and at peace. Awareness beyond Consciousness. All this time I have been duped by illusion.’

He continues to say: [2.2] “By this light alone the body and the universe appear. I am Everything or Nothing.”

No-thing. As God, as Consciousness, I am everything. As That in which even God is born, I Am that No-thing. So, not the ‘nothing’. And I make this point over and over because I know the mind can grab onto these things and make it seem scary ‘Oh, you don’t want to become nothing, do you?’ But this is the no-thing from which all things come. So how full must I be? Full of potential and yet not limited by the potential. Because even when the potential expresses itself as this manifest universe, That which is came from (This Awareness) remains untouched. It is not that Awareness became tired using up all the potential of this manifest creation. It remains exactly the same; untouched and unmoved.

So, ‘I am Everything’ which means ‘I am Consciousness’ or ‘Nothing’…, No-thing; This Awareness. And it is by this light alone that this body and the universe appear. I’ve actually said that it is the universe, the manifest universe, which is the body of Consciousness; because there is no separation.

The better way to say ‘My body’ would be to say ‘This manifest universe is My body’. Then see where doership goes. Once we start to look at things like this, then see what happens to doership. [Chuckles] Out the window. . .

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 – Morning]

Reading from and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita [1.14-1.17]

~ ~ ~

We have been looking at the wonderful Ashtavakra Gita. Let’s look at Verse 14 from chapter 1.

[1.14] Ashtavakra says: ‘You have long been bound thinking: ‘I am a person’. Let the knowledge: ‘I am Awareness alone’ be the sword that frees you.’

So, it is this thinking; he says ‘You have long been bound thinking’. So, it is clear that the cause of bondage is this thinking. Now it might seem like he is saying just this thought is trouble ‘I am a person’. But if you look at all of our thoughts, you will find that the presumption behind all of them is that ‘I am a person’. The premise of thoughts is this personal identity. It cannot be that the premise is that ‘God needs this thought to function as to what to do next because God is confused; that’s why the thought comes to help God with what to do next’. Because if the thought would help God, the thought would be greater than God. Isn’t it? If there is something which is higher than God, if God needs advice from something, then that would be higher than God. So, that is the ego’s ultimate game plan, to be bigger than the Father.

‘You have long been bound thinking ‘I am a person’. So, all of our thoughts (even in satsang) have this presumption that ‘I must be this individual separate entity who is now even getting the truth or not’. So, if the thought is saying ‘Yes, I am really understanding this’ who is it referring to? Yourself with the label of your name; your Self as a form. Still that one. So, you have long been bound thinking ‘I am a person’. And then, (as we have seen in the previous verses) we are the one solitary witness; this Awareness. So, what does that need? What thought does that one need? So, to pick up a thought is to pick up the false conditioning, to pick up the lie. Then Ashtavakra says ‘Let the knowledge: ‘I am Awareness alone’ be the sword that frees you.’

I like this expression very much because it is not the concept ‘I am Awareness’ which can free you. It is knowledge with a capital ‘K’. So, let this Seeing, let this insight, let this intuition that ‘I am this Awareness alone’ be the sword that frees you. How can a sword free you? [Chuckles] How can a sword free you? It cuts that which is false. It cuts the lie. So once it is seen that ‘I am Awareness’ then the lie of being a person gets cut away, gets chopped away. (Very popular terms in satsang; chop your head off, [Chuckles] cut off your mind.) That is what it means. So, this Knowledge, which is direct Seeing (not mental knowledge) that ‘I am this Awareness alone’ is the sword that frees you. Therefore, to become free, what is needed? Only to cut of that which is false. As we start to cut off that which is false, the truth becomes more and more apparent on its own. As we stop giving belief to the false, then the truth becomes inescapable. Clear? Good.

[1.15] ‘You are now and forever Free, luminous, transparent, still.’

(This one is going to push some buttons.) [Laughs]: The practice of meditation keeps one in bondage.’

Let’s see the first one first and then we’ll come to the controversial one. So you See, again and again, over and over (by verse 15 already) at least 10 times the sage must have said ‘You are this Awareness’. Now, what can we say about this Awareness? [If you had to pick one] Between free and bound, you will say ‘free’. Between transparent and opaque, we say ‘transparent’. Between moving and still, we say ‘still’. Why I am making the comparison is because no attribute by itself applies to this Awareness. You see? That which is no-thing, cannot have any attribute. But in this world of opposites, you have to speak. Between the two, you will always pick ‘transparent, still’.

‘You are now and forever Free, luminous, transparent, still.

The practice of meditation keeps one in bondage.’

How? Because most often it is seen that along with the practice of meditation comes the identity of ‘the practitioner’. See, bondage (as it has already been explained) is only the idea that ‘I am the person’. Therefore, action in itself cannot be bondage; also action itself cannot remove bondage. So, the action is just an appearance in the flow of Consciousness. So, it is not the action in itself which is your bondage, it is to take up the identity that ‘I am the person’ and in this case, the identity that ‘I am the practitioner’ or ‘I am the meditator’ which is the bondage. The only bondage is that ‘I am a person’.

Any anything, which reinforces that idea…, many of us have come across this idea that ‘I am a great meditator. I have been meditating so much’. So this, when it is taken on with meditator-doership as a personal achievement, then that becomes bondage because it reinforces the false idea of personhood. So, any action which is done with the sense of doership actually reinforces the false idea of personhood. So, the sage was trying to say that there can be this sense that ‘Only if I meditate enough; I have to bring my meditation practice from 5 hours to 10 hours and if I am able to do that, then I will be free’. But in that, what is missed is this sense of personal doer ship. There is still an  ‘I’ which is trying to get somewhere, become better at something and practice meditation as if this false one (like the cat as I call it) will come to freedom for the cat. That is why the sage says ‘The practice of meditation keeps one in bondage’.

[1.16] ‘You are pure Consciousness, the substance of the universe.

The universe exists within you. Don’t be small-minded.’

‘You are pure Consciousness’. We have been seeing for the past 3 days. When we check on our Beingness, on our ‘I-Am-ness’ what do we find? That this is now apparent ‘I Am that I Am. I Am this pure Consciousness’. What is the meaning of pure Consciousness? Then you can argue with a sage saying ‘How can Consciousness become impure? Why do you say pure Consciousness?’ Is it possible for this Consciousness, which he says is the Supreme power, that It can become impure?

Therefore, the only meaning of pure now is that it is unassociated Being. Pure Consciousness means it is not believing itself by pretending as if it has some personal attributes, personal conditioning. It is coming to this ‘I-Am-ness’. Often we say in satsang that anything we say after ‘I am…’ is a story. This is what it means, you see. [Someone asked a question]

Q: [Inaudible question]

A: Yes, yes. Now we are talking about if you have come to this realization that I Am that I Am, the ultimate realization is that ‘I am aware even of this I am’. So, ultimately (we can say) ‘I Am That which is this Awareness’. But now the sage is talking about this realization of Being. When that happens. ‘I Am that I Am’ is also a beautiful, beautiful…, coming to a beautiful realization. So we must not (like my Master Moojiji says) ‘Don’t think that your Beingness is sort of a half way house to freedom. Already in the realization of Beingness, we cannot suffer in this worldly realm’. Then your life becomes the life of God. You are leading life as if you are this God Presence. So, it is a beautiful realization also. You are pure Consciousness, the substance of the universe.

Then, (this also we have been discussing for the last few days) it is the I-Am-ness that everything is made up of and everything appears within. So, we have been checking (some of us). We check this experience of the sound of this fan; is it truly within Me or is it outside Me? And this Me that we are speaking about now is the Beingness itself. So, we saw that it is in the light of this Consciousness that everything comes about and it is within this Consciousness, the screen (as Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi used to say) of Consciousness where everything is getting played out. So, both the light and the screen are the same, which is this One Consciousness. So, it is this Beingness which is the substance of this manifest universe. Everything is encompassed within this Being.

‘The universe exists within you, don’t be small-minded.’ So, this universe, the sage says from his insight, is that all of this exists within this space of Being; as sometimes we say. ‘Don’t be small-minded’ means which mind is this way now? This mind. So, in the Vedantic tradition, like we were discussing the other day, they use the terms ‘small mind’ and ‘big mind’. Small mind means, this ego mind, this lawyer for the person. And the big mind means this Consciousness Itself.

So, This One is That in which everything exists. What does it mean to be small-minded? It only means that we believe ourselves to be that which the small mind is telling us we are. ‘Don’t be small-minded’ only means ‘Don’t behave as if, don’t pretend as if’. You can never become the small mind; but you have the power to pretend to be this separate individual identity

[1.17] ‘You are unconditioned, changeless, formless. You are solid, unfathomable, and cool. Desire nothing. You are Consciousness.’

Cool,  cool. [Laughter, lifts collar shirt to show cool] [Laughter in the room]

So then, the ‘unconditioned’ means the same like when it said pure Consciousness; that means unconditioned Consciousness. And we have been looking at conditioning. Often I have said that freedom is the recognition of the true and the dropping of the false, which is the conditioning; and both are Now. Although the dissolution of the conditioning seems like it is a time bound exercise; but actually, in the Now, it is already gone. But it is the habit of picking up the false conditioning which seems to take some time to dissolve.

‘Unconditioned, changeless, (we have discussed this), formless. Although all forms come from This, It in Itself is formless. ‘You are solid’…, liquid and gassy. [Laughter] You are all there is already. So, any subservient definition we can ignore for now.

‘Unfathomable.’ I was once told that a fathom was a measure, like a measuring unit. You see. So, when they say ‘Unfathomable by the mind’ it means ‘It cannot be measured by the mind. It cannot fathom this’. That which you are, That which contains the universe itself…, can the mind fathom it? The best it will give you is some visual; but the visual is also a part of this manifest universe. So, it is not in the visualization or the imagination. The mind really has no tools to fathom this, but you are aware of your existence. Therefore, you must be something which is greater than the mind.

The mind. Okay, let’s look at it like this. There is Awareness. And we have experienced that there are states like sleep states where there is no manifest creation; there is no-thing at all. And then, for some unexplained reason, for some unfathomable reason (although my favorite one is for entertainment) there is the birth of this sense of Being; the sense that I exist. Now, if Awareness was all there is, then what must this Being be made up of? Awareness only; no? We have had that the direct experience that there is nothing; but I am there to have that experience.

Therefore, this sense of Beingness also must be just another form of this One substance which is Awareness alone. That’s why often I say that in reality, there is no difference between Awareness and Consciousness; but in qualitative-seeming, it seems like they are different. Just like in reality, there is no difference between water and ice; but if somebody splashes water on you versus throwing an ice cube at you, there is a difference. Isn’t it? Qualitative experience. So fundamentally, there is no difference, but in the qualitative-seeming it looks like there is a difference.

So then, what happens? This Consciousness is now present. We have already seen that within this Being. My advice to you is to not listen to these words as though they are beautiful poetry; they can be very attractive like this. You must take the words and you must use them for your direct checking: Is this True for me Right Now?

Is it not true that everything that is being experienced is being experienced only here. [Points to himself] ‘Here’ means not constrained by the body but Here within my Being, in the light of my Being. We must get the direct experience of these things as the sage is speaking them. ‘You are this unfathomable one!’

Now, in the realm of appearances as it comes, with everything coming, one of the appearances is also this mind; the energetic construct of thoughts. So Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] used to say ‘This bundle of thoughts is the mind’. We also bundle similar energies like imagination, memory, all these things; let’s call it ‘mind’. So this one, you see, (I am using a metaphor, don’t take it too literally) is like the grandson. There is Awareness within which this Consciousness came into shape; as many, many, many thousands of energetic forms came, there also came this energetic construct called the mind. It is the grandson of Awareness, isn’t it? Now, can the grandson tell you authoritatively where the grandfather was born? No, only from hearsay. It is conceptual, you see? Because it was not there.

That which is later cannot profess the birth of that which was before. Isn’t it? So, that is why we cannot rely on this mind to be our guide to the Truth. You don’t need that mind because You were there, You are there. [Chuckles] You are That. So, the mind, when it tries to play the guide, we must ignore that; especially in the spiritual sense of things because it cannot be fathomed by the mind. It will give you some cheap representations, paintings of Awareness, paintings of Consciousness. But those will never represent in reality what You are. That is why it is important to make the point that it is unfathomable. Unfathomable by what? By the mind.

‘Cool’… [Laughing] Somebody has a good idea about this ‘cool’? It is really a supremely cool verse. The sage said ‘You are solid, unfathomable, and cool.’ (We should look at the original Sanskrit and see where that originates) ‘Unconcerned.’ Yes, this is a good one. It is not concerned by the play of the manifest universe. You see? This is a good one. So, the sense of even ‘aloof’ is not the best word for it. But aloof (like I am so cool about things, it doesn’t matter to me)…, you know? To be like that. So, aloof or unconcerned by the workings of this manifest universe not trying to go towards a particular outcome at all.

It is very good. See, my feeling is always to read things fresh so when I am reading I am also enjoying saying ‘Cool’. Okay. [Laughter]

‘Desire nothing. You are Consciousness.’ Now as Consciousness, what could you desire? Everything that is appearing is already within You. You see? What lack can You have? What discontentment can You have? That is why it is said that this discovery ‘I Am that I Am’ …, this I Am-ness is full of contentment, joy, peace, Ananda. That is why it is said like this. But allow yourself to settle into this. Don’t mix it with desire so quickly. The mind will come and say ‘Okay, okay; you still suffer. Where is the bliss?’ You see ‘that’ itself goes from unconditioned to conditioned immediately. We still get a taste of the person of ‘somebody’ who wants a by-product. Consciousness is not asking for the bliss. So, as you allow yourself to relax into this, into this simple allowing, you find that there is no ‘What’s in it for me?’ The sense of desire starts to dissolve. And as the pull, the magnetism of this maha mantra of the ego ‘What’s in it for me?’ starts to dissolve, you find that your true servants (your true servants of love, peace, joy) all these appear to serve you.

So, we don’t have to desire anything. If it is still desire, then all desire is personal in that way. Even the desire for freedom is ultimately is personal. But I say sometimes, if you have to have a desire, then (if there was a spectrum of auspiciousness) at least have the desire for freedom; because at least with this one, you will come to the end of desire. If it is the truest urge, you will come to the end of desire. With everything else you have seen ‘Okay, I got this one, what next? I got this, then what next?’ When you come to the dissolution of that which is false, then the ‘what next’ will drop; the ‘What’s in it for me? What next?’ All this starts to drop. Then life seems full of ease. Even if it seems full of activity, even if strong seeming-events are happening around you, you will find that it is full of ease.

A: So, can this retreat be like this Chapter 1 of Ashtavakra Gita? Are you going to be Janaka now? Or are you going to be Arjuna now? (We should not always be tough on Arjuna, great warrior. But you know what I mean.)

Are we going to quickly pick up this seeker perspective and say ‘But, but, but…, this is left’ (which are going to sound more and more like hollow excuses now)?

Yesterday I was feeling like ‘How long is still left in the retreat?’ Because it seems like not only am I done with what I want to say; when I look at your shining eyes looking back at me, it looks like You’re done! What else is there which is left?
When I look at your shining eyes like that, then I hear the mouth talking…. [Throws his head back and rolls his eyes] [Laughs]

[Laughter in the room]

So, I wonder which one is telling the Truth? My feeling is that it is the eyes which are telling the Truth. [Smiles]

The eyes are shining with such great bliss and peace and joy and light and everything, and the mouth comes with a report ‘Father, I’m stuck with this thing’.

[I’m like] What?!? You don’t look stuck at all.

What’s your move now? Huh?

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 – Morning]

A: This is a good point. So, she asks ‘Do we need to stabilize into this habit of not picking up the next thought?’

For a while, it might seem like that needs some effort. It might seem like that. But the recognition will come that actually this is the effortless and natural state. It has been the ‘picking up’ which has been effortful.

So, also don’t go with this thought, Right Now. Then You’re free Now.

And that is the reason that we have satsang Monday to Friday (even if you can’t be there in real time, you can watch the recording) just to make sure that we’re not falling into some false beliefs, that we’re not buying some spiritual concepts now. We’ve made it real easy.

Even the stabilization, you can leave it [let it] be my problem.

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 – Morning]

You know, often it is said (the Master has said) that ‘My life is my message’.

But actually, your life has to become my message.

Let your life be my message now,

that all those who come into your Presence recognize this light.

This is a blessing:

May all those who come into your Presence recognize this light.

So, the message will not be transferred as one concept to another concept there.

It must be transferred from the living truth here to the living truth there in this beautiful dance that we are playing together.

And it is completely yours for the taking.

Everyone who comes to you must see Your Satguru’s light.

This sangha, You are my message to the world.

[Silence]

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 — Afternoon]

A: What is your idea of a terrible life? [Laughs & laughter in the room]

[Silence] If life had to become terrible now, what would it have to bring?

Q: Poverty. A lot of medical problems. The rest I can handle. The rest is fine.

A: Guilt?

Q: Yeah.

A: [Laughs] Regret.

Q: It feels like it’s going away; these things.

A: It’s going away. You said poverty. We’re here in this Chinmaya mission [retreat location] and Swami Chinmaya Ananda, he was quite a revolutionary sage. So, he started sharing satsang and his Guru sent him from Uttarakhand, close to Rishikesh, down to share his teachings. And when he came, there was no money. So, he was sharing a class with 4 people and there was no money for lunch (or nothing) so he would go the rest of the time and ask for some bhiksha from the people of Mumbai and get some donations and things, and that’s how he would live; teaching 4 people and begging for food and money the rest of the day. Then, what would happen is that he had this real urge to share with everyone. He wanted to get everyone to understand our Vedantic tradition, he wanted everyone to understand the scriptures. So, when he had some money, he would hire a cycle rickshaw and sit behind the cycle rickshaw with a loudspeaker and ‘Come this evening and see Swami Chinmaya speak about the Upanishads’…, himself in complete poverty. But it sounds like such a joyful life, no?

So, what would poverty take away?

Q: There’s just a fear of poverty because of not having experienced these levels of poverty, so there’s this ‘How would it be if the story has to go that way?’

A: Yes.

Q: But, I mean, it is quite possible that there are a few hick-ups and then I get used to it.

A: Yes. Good. So, poverty was first. Then?

Q: A lot of complicated medical problems at one time.

A: All together. But in that, a lot of insight comes. Like I say, whenever there’s an illness I find a lot of opportunity for inquiry to see that I am truly not the body. In fact, those are the times where this must be seen. So, in that I also don’t feel the body that much [would be a problem].

What next? Oh, I brought up the guilt, regret.

Q: It clearly feels like those are going away. I don’t know how or where they were picked up, but they’re definitely going away.

A: Good.

Q: And there’s very little expectation of how life should unfold.

A: Good.

Q: And there’s gratitude, for life for you.

A: Good, good. [Smiles warmly]

~ ~ ~

[Silent Retreat with Ananta – 10^th October 2016 -Afternoon]