BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

So you come to a point a now where even this starts to seem like a sham. You know what the next trick, the next trick which the mind will play is? And it’s playing on many of you. We already had this one satsang which was labelled ‘What’s the point?’ Because we come to this point where we see this personal seeking; the seeking for freedom also was just personal, was just egoic. Then the question comes: ‘So, what’s the point?’

And I want to speak couple of minutes about this: ‘What’s the point of satsang?’ It can get like that; because we say that ‘What You Are is ever free. See, what You truly Are, that cannot be bound’. Isn’t it? And the person, the ego, can never be free because it is only just imagined. So if ‘What You Are’ is always free, and if the ego will never change, then what’s the point of satsang? It’s a very valid question. Many of you are encountering this, isn’t it?

But there is something which is getting missed out in these two perspectives. So, one: We are talking as absolute perspective, as Awareness. And it is true that as Awareness you can never be bound. You see?

And the other perspective is this personal perspective, ‘the imagined one’ as I say, which is the ego. In saying that.., we often say that ‘The mind will always talk about you-as-a-person so don’t expect it to change’.

So then, what is the point?

The point of satsang is that we come to a place of un-associated Being.

And for those of you who are new to satsang, they might be confused now between ‘Awareness’, ‘Beingness’ and ‘person’. So let me quickly, quickly go through them as well.

So when we speak about ‘the person’ we are saying that this idea that ‘I am a separate entity, I am an individual, I am that which my name refers to’. And it is not the body. What my name refers to is not the body. The body is just a part of what it refers to. Because the body is unconcerned about the relationships, unconcerned about of being a father, mother, daughter, son, parent; all of these things it is unconcerned with. It is unconcerned with the amount of money you have. So, it is not just body.

There is an imagined entity called ‘the person’. Why I say ‘imagined’ is because when you look for it, you cannot find it. Where is the person? You say ‘I don’t know’. And yet you will find that there is a voice; the voice of the mind, the voice of the ego, this thought stream which is constantly trying to convince you of your person-hood. And because it speaks authoritatively, we start believing that ‘Yes, I must be this person’. So this is what we mean when we say ‘ego’, ‘person’, ‘mind’. We use all these terms interchangeably.

Then the question is: ‘What is this Being?’ ‘Atman’…, we keep hearing these terms, ‘Consciousness’, ‘Atman’, ‘soul’, ‘Being’, ‘God’. But how many are clear about these? Or is it just a label or concept? If I were to tell you to find this sense of ‘I Am’, for many of you this can seem confusing: Sense ‘I Am’, the sense ‘I Am’.

But if I were to ask you: ‘Can you stop being?’…, you know it is clear that there is a Being which is here, there is a sense that ‘I Am, the Atman, I exist, the Presence’.

And in this state, (which you call the waking state), it is not possible for this Presence to not be there, for this sense of Being to not be there, is not possible in this state.

And yet in the deep sleep, in sleep state, even this Presence of ‘I Am’ is not there. So if even this ‘I Am’ is not present, how do we know that there is something called sleep state?

How do we know I went to sleep? Like often I say that ‘In satsang it is so boring that you went to sleep, and then you wake up in ten minutes. You know you went to sleep, isn’t it? There is nothing to report from there; but you are aware of even this nothing’.

So this is what we mean by ‘Awareness’.

When I ask the question: ‘Are you aware now?’ Am I aware now?

This is the only non-phenomenal experiencing; which means this is the only confirmation you can give without actually tasting anything phenomenally: ‘Am I aware now?’

Because you don’t see anything to confirm this, and yet you know completely ‘Of course, I am aware. Awareness is here. This is what I am’. So when we say that ‘This Awareness…, this awareness can never be bound’ it is easy to check: ‘Yes, this Awareness can never be bound. It doesn’t want freedom’.

Then when we check, the voice of the mind doesn’t change. Even after this discovery that ‘I am this Awareness’ the voice of the mind is still the voice of the mind; always talking to you as if you are a person.

So then we come back to the main point which is: What is the point of satsang?

The point of satsang is that this pure Presence I Am has the power of belief. And it can believe itself to be a person. So the power of belief is the power to pretend it is ‘I Am-ness’ which is associated as a person, ‘the imagined one’. And it is ‘I Am-ness’ which is tired of this association which brings this ‘appearance’ [us] into satsang. And it is ‘I Am-ness’ which rids itself of this association as a person, and it becomes the un-associated Being.

So when we are speaking as this Awareness, as this ‘I Am-ness’, as this Beingness…, this Being, this Consciousness has complete control over the power of belief; complete control over the power of belief.

The point of satsang is only to get you to withdraw belief from this egoic mind stream, so that you can rest as the un-associated Being, untroubled by this way of suffering which is all personal.

So I was saying that: Once it is clear that belief in this mind stream, in this flow of thoughts, is just the doorway to misery, the doorway to suffering, then our Being is un-associated. So ‘I Am’ stays as ‘I Am’. It is not saying ‘I am the body’. It is not saying ‘I Am (whatever your name is)’. It is not saying ‘I Am (whatever identity); father, daughter, son, child’. It is pure un-associated Being.

This resting as pure un-associated Being is freedom from suffering. That is the entire of point of satsang; to get this pretend-association broken and to get you to a point of un-associated Being, which is your own Presence, which is your own Satguru, which is You in your dynamic aspect.

What I wanted to say was that we can leave everything. For few minutes we can just leave everything.

Leave everything means just let it be exactly as it is.

Let everything be exactly as it is just for a few minutes.

Don’t feel that you have to do something about anything. If something is pulling for your attention, and even if your attention is going for it, it’s completely fine; don’t try to control your attention also.

Don’t try to deal with the Presence also.

Nothing.

Leave everything exactly as it is.

If your body is moving let it move, if it is still let it be still.

Whether your breath is steady or uneven, forget about it. Just let it be.

Whether your mind is noisy or quiet, just let it be exactly as it is.

Whether there are emotions or no emotions, doesn’t matter to you.

But if attention is going to objects, external or internal objects, or attention is resting in the Presence or it is at home with the absolute self, makes no difference to you.

Just let it be exactly as it is.

Leave the future.

If you have to live for another hundred years or you just have another minute to live, you just let it be.

We have described all the various appearances which are coming and going.

Ask yourself this question: Who is witnessing the appearances?

Am I the witness of these appearances or am I also an appearance?

Is there anything phenomenal which I can call ‘I’?

Observe the no-thingness that you are, which allows all things to come and go.

You are this Awareness.

Here we meet as One.

Om shanti shanti shanti

Q: Father this strong undercurrent of bliss has disappeared. It has been like this for a few days. However, there is still a strong energy which shakes me up and stretching the body. Also the mind seems to have crept in from behind the eyes, as Sri Mooji says. But it’s all okay.

Yes, and it is good that bliss has disappeared. Because if we confuse freedom to be a blissed out state, then know that all states are coming and going no matter how beautiful and auspicious. So in the search for freedom, if you’re actually searching for some state, then you will definitely be disappointed at some point or the other. There is no state that comes and stays. And even if it did you would forget that you are in that state because that would become natural. If you’re eating sugar all of the time and there’s no salt, then sugar would just taste normal, you see? There’s no contrast. So if bliss was always there, you would forget about bliss. So freedom must be that. It cannot be a constricted state where we are dependent on a particular state.

Shiva is not saying ‘Give me only joy, give me only bliss’. Shiva is untouched. Unaffected by everything which is coming and going. So bliss has disappeared, it is absolutely fine. If it remains  just simple sober seeing, then no trouble with that. The witnessing is not concerned with what is appearing. It is only the mind, the ego, which comes and says ‘I want this, I don’t want that’.

That which resists what is, is the ego. So all energies, all bliss, all of these forces, they can come and go as they please. You are That which remains untouched by all of this play.

Q: Also the mind seems to have crept in behind the eyes, like Sri Mooji says, But it’s all okay.

Right now, if you refuse to believe your next thought, then show me what power the mind has. And it is only the thought which will come and say ‘but this is difficult’ or ‘this is complicated; it happens on its own’. Let all thoughts come and let them go. Just be completely open. Don’t give them any room. Including ‘behind the eyes’.

What does it mean when we say ‘The mind seems to have crept in from behind the eyes?’ That means our vision seems to be sort of constricted, isn’t it? The personal ‘I’ is always looking at everything saying ‘what’s in it for me? What’s in it for me? What’s in it for me?’ Always, everything is about ‘me, me, me, me, me’. And when we let go of these personal eyes, then we’re not grasping at everything that comes in front of us. Then our vision becomes more global. And once you lose the ‘me’, this individual sense of me, then the mind can try all it’s tricks but you cannot come back to this personal form of living.

And this does not mean that you have to leave your life. It doesn’t mean you have to leave your life. Life will still live itself exactly the way it has been doing. But it will not seem personal anymore, because you have discovered that there never was a person. It was just an imagined concept. Just an idea.

Q: May I come forward Father?

Of course, my Dear.

Q: Namaste Sangha, Namaste Father. Just wanted to express my Gratitude.  And the last couple of days have been really amazing. I have been able to see through a lot of things that have been coming. And it doesn’t have such an interest or power over my day, and it’s just really amazing. But what I wanted to really expose today is this feeling of specialness and turning of this ‘awareness’ into an entity and saying like I know something that somebody else might not know. There is like a something there and that thought keeps coming up. I seem to be kind of stuck there.

It is very good that you come and expose this. Because what happens is, it is the person that says that now it has understood. The mind says that ‘I have understood that I am Awareness’.

It is very good that you spot it, spot this trick. Because many can get stuck in this. ‘Yes, yes, I have now understood’. It can be like this. Outwardly it can be that you’re being very nice and humble and inside you are feeling this ‘Yes, ‘I’ have understood…..’I’…’I’…’

As long as there is this sense of ‘I’, which is separate from others, then this is the specialness, this is the arrogance which we speak of. And I am very happy that in your case so quickly you spotted it and say that ‘In the last few days, lots of cleaning up is happening. I see that Awareness is here’.

And when you see this, is it something special really?

Is there anything, something special, about Awareness?

The fact that every Being, if asked the question ‘Are you aware now’ will answer in a ‘Yes’. Every Being, whether they are in Satsang or not. Even a child will say ‘Yes, I am aware’. So Awareness is the root of all, and there is nothing special in this. So all that seems to have happened is that Consciousness was pretending to be this imagined entity and now sees that there is no such imagined entity. And the true ‘I’ is the Witnessing, the pure Seeing itself. So the one who makes the discovery knows that this is true for everyone. It does not feel that something special has come true for me, which is not true for everyone else.

New Questioner: [Inaudible]

The question ‘Are you aware now’ does not seems to attack the identity. So it is not saying ‘Are you Awareness now?’ It could have said ‘Are you Awareness now?’ That would have seemed to attack the identity. To say ‘Are you aware now?’ then it is clear for everyone that there is no attack.

So the point I was making is that, irrespective of where the attention is going and how much they are believing themselves to be a person, the fact is that: All is Awareness. So even if we continue to be deluded for millions of more lifetimes, does it change Awareness? It doesn’t.

Q: It is like a strong sense of something trying to find where to place this ‘I’, where to put it? All day the inquiry is stuck on high gear. It is like: Who is asking all the Questions?

This is good. This is exactly what I mean. Initially it feels like ‘You don’t have legs to stand on’. It is a state of shakiness. Where do I find myself, where do I put myself? There is nowhere; and once you become comfortable with this nowhere, nothing can trouble you.

This is what it means when we say: Are you happy with this emptiness?’ ‘Can you just get used to your own emptiness?

It is not that your life becomes empty. It is not that the appearances stop. It is just that you cannot find anything that you relate to as yourself. You cannot find an entity which you can call ‘I’. And yet – you are. Because you cannot deny ‘I Am’. But you cannot find yourself spatially or in time.

You will get used to it, you will get comfortable with this. You will realize that ‘It is in this that I am free from all expectations, all needs, all desires, because I cannot find myself here phenomenally. A part of me is playing in this way; a part which I call Consciousness and that I am aware of, likes to play in this way in this world it seems to be creating, but I cannot truly place myself anywhere inside the world. I am that which is the Witnessing of the world’.

And remember that it is about You. All of this is about You. We say ‘But this one doesn’t get it. Or he thinks he got it, but he still hasn’t got it’. All this is still judgment coming from here.

So use everything thing that is coming in your appearance just to use as your own inquiry. And our close relationships are meant to do this, are meant to push all these buttons so that whatever identifications still remains are to be thrown into the fire. Why does it bother you? Because there is some sense of ‘relationship’. But is it a relationship that Awareness has? Is it a relationship that Consciousness has? No. It is still a relationship of the pretend one, the imagined one. Otherwise I would be as affected by your relationships as you are.  Doesn’t happen this way right? Because there is still a ‘me’ that says ‘This is my close relationship’. So what can be used to perpetuate the separation is now getting used to perpetuate the Oneness.

So when life comes and pushes our buttons, don’t panic about it, look at it as an opportunity. It is showing you something that is still hiding something. Showing you that you want Freedom; and also you want Freedom with certain conditions. Freedom and also this Relationship. Freedom and also this ‘something’.

The mind will come and paint some scary pictures, ‘If you have Freedom, does it mean that I won’t have this relationship?’ No, not to do with that. The Play of Consciousness continues, relationships can continue. All roles will continue. But the sense of the separate ‘me’ playing the role will go. You will see that naturally all roles are getting fulfilled. Parent role, partner role, child role; all these roles are being done by Consciousness itself.

Consciousness that can run this entire Universe; it has no trouble running our Life. Consciousness can do everything but cannot manage my relationship or it cannot pay my bills. These are the typical things that come in the mind. There is something very auspicious about the discovery of What You Are. But you cannot say that it is special. Because that would mean that you have become something that you were not earlier. But the discovery is that: You have always been This. Isn’t it?

And this one, if you spot this one, now he is wearing different clothes; maybe he is wearing orange robe or a white robe saying ‘I am now a great enlightened person’ in your mind.  I am saying, externally you can wear whatever; it is completely fine. But if it is painting this picture of an enlightened person in your mind, know that this is another appearance. It is just a visual. There is no such thing as an enlightened ‘person’. Enlightenment is Freedom from this ‘person idea’ itself. So who is there to feel special?

Yet it is very natural for this to happen because this is the way of the mind. The mind will say ‘I went after something and I got it’. For everything in life it has been like this. ‘I went after a relationship I got it. I went after money I got it, or I didn’t get it’. Either way; not dependent on the outcome. The way has always been that ‘I am seeking Freedom. Yes, finally I got it!’

Freedom is actually from this one. It can keep jumping around. Don’t expect that this one will vanish. It will keep jumping around. It will celebrate. Then tomorrow when you wake up it will say ‘Oh, you lost it’. Then it is feeling sad. The day after ‘Oh, no, no, there is no getting or loosing it, we will do this together’. It tries to be your friend. This mind, this ego is trying to be your ally. It is like the ant which is telling the lion ‘Yes, yes, you walk with me and we will both get there’.

So it is the sense, the imagined-person idea, telling God, ‘You know I will take you there’. That is why it is very important, this one: If you want to see God pretending to be a person, just believe your next thought. This is the way in which God picks up the pretense of personhood.

So let those who come in your Presence say that ‘We are so blessed by your Presence’ and you are sitting and wondering ‘What is all this, what’s going on?’ Let it be innocent like that.

Don’t buy any story about yourself. Not even about Freedom. Because you do not exist phenomenally, you cannot have a story. These stories are the ones which will keep you oscillating between what seems like Freedom and delusion. Without a story it is not possible.

Very good, very good. I am very happy that you are in satsang and you report that things are becoming much clearer and very quickly. That auspicious vigilance is also there which says ‘There is something which is trying to proclaim something or claim something, and I see this, and it doesn’t smell nice, it doesn’t smell true, it still smells of the person; and I want to expose this in Satsang and burn it here’.

So what happens, right now? You say ‘There is no person’ I say that, and you pick up the pretence of a person. Let me explain to you how that happens.

There is no person right now. And then the thought comes and says ‘Oh, but you must be a better mother’ for example. This thought can come like this, ‘You must be a better mother’. Now this thought is presuming that you are what? It is presuming that you are the imagined person. Isn’t it? It is not speaking to Consciousness. It is not saying ‘God, you have to be a better mother’. It is not speaking to Awareness saying ‘Witnessing, you have to become better at witnessing’ or something like that. It is speaking to your idea of yourself as a person.

Now if you give belief, (which means if you say ‘Yes, this thought is meaningful for me’) you have picked up the pretense of a person, because the thought was speaking to you as a person. You see? So the answer for this ‘How? How do I drop this pretense?’ is very simple. It is to just not believe your next thought. Not to find the person and drop the pretense. Not like this. Just in not believing your next thought, you will see that ‘The person is not here, and I’m not pretending to be a person by not buying anything that this salesman is selling me. Which means I’m not giving my belief to this thought’. That’s all.

It is only the thoughts which are speaking to you as if you are a person. Being is just being, the outward appearance is just shining for your entertainment, or whatever explanation. And seeing the pure Awareness is just aware. It is only these thoughts which come and say ‘You are only just a drop in this ocean. You are a separate drop’. There is no other sense of separation. That’s why when a child is born, it does not feel this sense of separation. It is only after this conditioning starts, these thoughts start, that this sense of being separate comes. A child does not want to own anything. It does not say ‘mine’ or ‘another’. You see? It does not have this sense of ego. It starts developing at the age of two, two and a half. Then this sense comes that this was mine, this is another’s.

Q: “Father, I get what you’re saying now. When we pick up the concept person, identity comes up. So where does the ‘me’ and ‘other’ separation come from? Are they also like thoughts; or how does it work?”

This separation of me and another is only because of thought. Because right now, where is the ‘me’? Where is the ‘another’? This hand is another appearance. That one is another appearance. This table is another appearance. All these sensations are appearing. Where is the ‘me’? There is none. The Awareness is here. Even the sense of Being is perceived. But in the appearance, I cannot separate from this –  this – this – this (pointing around the room).  It’s just appearing. It’s the thought which says ‘This is another; this is Palak; this is Anandi; this is Suchitra’. It is the mind which comes and labels what is seen. So you see a glass of water, and the mind will immediately start labeling it. ‘Oh this is clean water, this is dirty water, this should be….’ All this is just coming from the mind. Without this mind, it is not a possibility to separate anything. All of this is one big appearance, including this body.

Q: [inaudible] “Awareness is here, but….  But when I’m looking at something….”

Yes. Then we don’t have to label that anything, including Awareness. You see, a tendency can come that ‘Let me not call him a person, let me call him Awareness’. It’s not true like that, that Awareness is here, appearance is there. It is coming from inside the Awareness itself. So all of this is the play of my Being. When Being is on, then all this…, seeming others, the appearance, all this is on. When Being is off, nothing else is there. This is true Oneness, you see? Oneness is not ‘Oh, I love this one so much, I love this one so much.’ That is not Oneness. Oneness is to see this entire phenomenal play is appearing in the light of my Being. It is coming from Me. The entire universe is this one projection.

Q: “So when I wake up, the projection is on?”

Yes, when we say the waking state comes, immediately there is a sense of ‘me’, isn’t it?  In sleep, there is no sense of ‘me’. The sense ‘I am’ wakes up and the world is there. But you are unchanged. You were aware that ‘I am sleeping’. You were not able to report ‘I am sleeping’. When you wake up, when the ability to report comes,  you say ‘I was sleeping’. You don’t say ‘I don’t know. It was 11:00 just now, and now it’s 7:00…, I don’t know’. You don’t say like that. You see, you were aware that there is a state called ‘sleep state’. The mind cannot understand this. Don’t worry about it.

Q: “Father, you say don’t believe the other person is Awareness also. So then there’s nothing.”

Yes. No labels are required. When a child is born, it is not labeling the world. It does not know labels are there.

Q: “So you’re saying there’s nothing there?”

That is also a label. In the presence of Being, the play of this energetic appearance comes. Some energy is playing outside, some energy seems like this (points to object in room), some energy seems to be coming here (refers to head), some energy seems to be emotion. So this energetic play is happening.

Q: “That’s why we feel separate from other people?”

Yes, yes. It’s when the labeling guy comes and says ‘This one’s a good person, this one’s a bad person, this one…’ All this labeling comes. Then this separation happens. That’s why, don’t replace one label with another. For ourself, also don’t say ‘I was a person and now I’m God’. For another also, don’t say ‘Oh, I thought he was just a body, but he’s actually Awareness’. It’s not needed, this label. Then the true insights will be here. In the light of my Being, all this play of appearance starts. Mr. Ananta is here, Mrs. Palak is here…, like this. And the adventure continues. It’s like a fun movie.

Q: “So the appearance of the Master is also an appearance?”

Yes, of course. Because the true Master is your own Being. The true Master is your own Being. There is nothing special about this body. It is just that we got conditioned to relying on name and form. I used to say like this; that even when we’re chatting with someone and we’ve not met them before, we’ll say ‘Can you send me a photo so I can put a face to the name?’ You know because we’re so related to… That’s why that there’s this whole argument about idols versus not having idols and whether we should have pictures of God or they should be the formless one. You see, and this comes from the lack of understanding actually. Just lack of understanding. So in some religions like Hinduism, if you read a Hindu text you will know that all the sages have always said that the Truth is formless. And then why are there so many forms? So many different gods? It is because in this conditioned world we’ve become used to relating to name and form.

So its a very democratic system [laughing]. You like the playful aspect of God; you like Krishna. You worship Krishna. You like this strong, silent aspect of God; you workshop Shiva. You like the righteous aspect of God; you workshop Ram. So you start from there, but all of this imagery is meant to take you to the formless, you see? Even your devotion to the image will take you toward the formless realization of Oneness. So all the world’s religions are saying the same thing, which is that God is formless. You see? But because we have got conditioned to relating to form…, that’s why the Christian’s have a cross. It’s a form, you see? They’re not saying that the cross is God, but it’s just something to relate to, so that you feel closer to the Truth. So all the ones which also preach that God has no form will have some symbols which they use to represent God or the feeling of devotion to God.

Q: “So my appearance is different from everybody else’s appearances Father, right?  Means what I’m seeing as appearances is different from what you’re seeing?”

So you go to sleep and you have a dream. So many people in the dream also. Where are they actually? You can say projection of your own Being. All this world of appearances is a projection of your own Being. Because true oneness will not come until there is this belief there is me and another. We can only pretend ‘Oh, I love everyone’. Just another part of the pretense. But true oneness comes from this insight that ‘All of this is me. This is my play’. You see? This body, that body, that body. Just like a dream. There is no difference actually between waking state and dream state. Just because we are inside this right now; I’m inside this so I can say this is the waking state.

There was an early morning meeting today and I was blissfully in a dream and then my wife came and woke me up. So that seemed very much like the waking state. There is no difference. When you’re inside the dream you cannot say. Just the same way you can have a lucid dream and say ‘This is a dream’. In the waking state also you can say that ‘It’s all just been a dream’. But you cannot force this insight, you see? It must emerge organically on its own. And ultimately I can say that it’s not even important. To see the world as a dream right now is not important. To see that the person does not exist even in the dream; even in this realm whether you say it is real or a dream, its okay. This realm is here, it’s appearing. Show me the person that is here.

So that’s why we say that the person is a second level delusion. If you have never heard anybody else say this…, but I say that ‘The person is a second level delusion’. It does not even exist in this state, in this play of phenomena. Then all this trouble about ‘I must now feel at one with everyone. I must now love everyone’…, all this effort which is needless, it doesn’t ever get anywhere. If there’s a sense that I personally am doing so much to love everyone, than the response doesn’t come from the other side, again you say ‘See I’m trying to be so loving and you are not responding’. As long as there’s a person, it doesn’t work.

Q: “So Father, yesterday what I was saying about the other person. There’s resistance…” (inaudible).

Yes, it vanishes itself. When you come to the understanding that all of this is your projection.

Q: “So there’s no need to blame. There’s no one to hold a grudge against anyone.”

All these insights are coming very naturally to you because the belief in the imagined person is getting dropped. And that itself creates so much space. Just these frightened ghosts, as my Master says, just running around chasing our thoughts all the time, saying ‘I want this, I want this. Not this, not this, not this’. There’s no space. So we withdraw our belief from this one; from this sense of separation. So much space and all these insights just come naturally. So the one who has not studied anything at all, who has not ready a book, like Nisargadatta Maharaj, (I doubt very much whether he read a book), yet he was speaking the same. So no intellectual knowledge is needed. Just the belief in personhood is withdrawn. And all insights, just naturally what you see right now, don’t need to refer to any knowledge or anything. So the greatest jnani’s have never studied anything at all. You see how funny that is? Good.

Now like I said, in this physical, phenomenal universe can we find the ‘I’?

Can we find the ‘me’?

Q: “It’s possible to find an ‘I’ and ‘me’ in this physical world, but it’s not real.”

Which is it? What would you say as the ‘I’?

Q:  “The real ‘I’ is awareness and the unreal ‘I’ is the idea.”

Is the Awareness in the phenomenal world?

Q: “Yes.”

When you ask ‘Am I aware now?’ is it something phenomenal that you see to confirm this?

Q: “No, it is not in the phenomenal world.”

So awareness is not [in the phenomenal world]. So, this ‘I’ which is in the phenomenal world is which one?

Q: “This ‘I’ which is in the phenomenal world is the Being; and it can be anything, Being plus million other things if it wants to; but it’s very suffering that way.”

So what do you mean by Being?

Q: “Being is the softest, the most natural (without any attachments) existence.”

It’s just this sense of Presence, of me, isn’t it; that I exist, I am.

Is there ever a time where you have experienced that this I am is not there? [Silence]

This sense is there only in the sleep state. You know even that this sense is there…, that ‘I exist’ was not there. But in the waking or any other dream state, this sense of Presence, of me, is always there.

Q: “Yeah.”

Now, in the Presence of this Being or Consciousness, there is a world. Is there ever a world without this; in your experience?

Q: “Can you say that again? Sorry.”

Yes, yes. In your experience, (not speaking from any presumed knowledge, but in your experience), is there ever a world without there being this sense of ‘I am’?

Q: “Is there ever a world without the sense of ‘I am’? No. No, there is not.”

So, ‘I am’ is there, and the world is there. When ‘I am’ is not, this world is not. This is your experience, isn’t it?

Q: “Uh hmm.”

And yet you are aware that ‘I had this waking state, I had this sleep state, I had the dream state’. So this Awareness remained untouched through all of this coming and going.

Now, in any of this, you cannot show me the individual ‘I’, the individual ‘me’. [Silence] Who is the one that is called Clare?

Q: “Awareness.”

Does Awareness carry a label ‘Clare’?

Q: “No.”

Is it even for Beingness? So, Being is here. Is this Being called Clare? Where can I find this Clare? I’m looking for Clare; can you help me find her?

Q: “It’s just a name.”

Just a name. And that is why we say that this person does not exist, or is just imagined or just presumed. That’s why we use all these labels for that which is just the ego or the sense of a separate Clare, separate person, which has never existed.

You stay in this contemplation, and you’ll see that this one, this sense of separate personhood is just not here. Being is here, the witnessing of even this Being is here, and it seems like that is what I am.

When you see from that perspective, you will see that there are times when Being is present and there are times when Being is not. The times when Being is present; inside the appearance it is called waking state, or dream state or whatever. But for me-as-Awareness it does not matter. It’s just the sense of ‘I am’ is there, or it is not. So, as Awareness, I see no difference between the content of this waking state and the content of the dream state. And yet the mind which is there in each those states says ‘This is real because this is the continuing story’. You see? Even in the dream, it doesn’t say that it is something new, fresh. Only after waking up you say that ‘Oh this was a strange place’. Inside the dream, there is a continuing story, there are familiar characters. Everything seem just the same; although the events, the appearances, might seem different.

It’s okay; you don’t worry about this right now. Just contemplate the existence of this Clare. Just contemplate this existence of this Clare, and then all this will become very clear, very clear.

Q: “Okay.”

This is the most important. That’s why I say ‘Just find whether there’s a person that exists here’. This is what I mean. Where is the one that you label with your name? Where is that which seems to own this body, which seems to own your money, which seems to own your relationships, and is trying to find freedom? This one.

And once you see that it does not exist, then it is done. Then all the insights about whether this world is real, phenomenal, doesn’t matter. It’s okay.

Q: “Okay. Thank You.”

All of you are completely open to come and question like this: ‘I don’t get this, I don’t understand when you say like this’. That’s when we really be open and have a conversation like this. Very good.

Just let go of all sense of control about anything at all. Don’t try to control your breath, let it move in and out as it likes. Relinquish all sense of control over the body also. Don’t even control the expressions on your face. Just let go.

Be completely open to all sounds. Everything is welcome. Don’t try to control your thoughts. Let all thoughts come and go.

Let all thoughts come and go. Be completely open.

[Silence]

Notice how some thoughts will entice your belief. And just observe how your attention and belief goes to some of these thoughts. Become clear about these forces, which are at play.

Now for every thought that comes, give it your full attention. Invite all thoughts to come. Even the thought that there are no thoughts, give it your full attention.

[Silence]

Notice that some of them seem to be tempting your belief. And yet belief must be given to them by you. However subtle the process might seem, Consciousness picks up the belief. And then this thought will become meaningful to you. It will seem like it applies to you.

[Silence]

Let go of all understanding. All concepts. And observe that… it is clear that I am here. You are here. Observe the sense that, I Am.

All thoughts can continue. All emotions can come. This I Am is unchanging. Notice that, it is not a thought ‘I Am.’ It is the presence of you, that you are. The sense of you. You are aware of this presence also.

Drop all effort to be aware and notice that Awareness is here effortlessly.

Ask yourself, ‘Am I aware now?’

‘Am I aware now?’

Awareness is aware of itself.

[Silence]

Notice that you are this Awareness, without any effort.

[Silence]

Observe how nothing can touch you here. No feeling means anything to you. And yet all feelings can come. No thought means anything to you. And yet all thoughts can come.

You are untouched by the external world. And all the energies in the internal world. Notice that for you they are one. Just a play of energy.

See what you are.

Am I aware now?

Observe that you are not a thought, you are not an emotion… you are not even the presence of Being. All of these appear and disappear for you. You are the primal witnessing of all which is coming and going. You have no interest in controlling the flow of these appearances. Everything is allowed to come and go.

You remain as this Awareness. Unchanging. Untouched. Eternal. Without any attributes. You are not the content of your waking state or of your dream state. You are aware of all states, including the sleep state.

All thoughts are allowed to come and go. They don’t touch you. And you don’t touch them.

May the Master’s Grace keep reminding you of this Truth of what you are till all sense of separation dissolves.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

I got a call from one of the sangha members who is going through something really…, in life, if you can call something really strong, she’s in the process of undergoing it. And it will be not right on my part to share with you what it is, but on scale of 1 to 10 of what can happen in this phenomenal realm, I feel she is going through an 8 right now.

So it reminded me that every moment that we have is so beautiful, if we are grateful about it. In this deep gratitude, this joy, this love that we have for all of us…, because it only takes an instant; it only takes a few minutes of something and then life takes a completely different course.

And this one, I’m not sure if she’s listening at the moment, but this is also pure grace. But it’s extremely strong medicine, you see. Strong medicine. And there is no way the mind can tell her what the future will look like. And in this way also, it is grace. Because the way the events have unfolded around her for the last few days, even the mind has given up trying to predict the future. So all that it’s trying to do now is it’s trying to scare her even more, saying ‘What’s going to happen with this? And what’s going to happen to my life?’ But if you’re listening and you hear, just know, that right now in this moment, in spite of all these seemingly strong events, right now You Are That, which is still the witness of all of this.

And that can be found now. Even now. So if these strong events have led to this place where you have no idea what the future is going to be, then let’s use this momentum, and let’s use this to discover that which is untouched by any of this play; however strong it may seem.

And so much grace still. In spite of all these events happening, it was so beautiful that we were talking and I was feeling that today I’ll go to satsang a little late. I felt I’ll spend some more time with you. But she said ‘No, today it’s 4:30 and you can go’. This is love, you see. These are the small miracles which I really love. In these moments when it seems like the entire world is going crazy around you, if you can find this clarity, this peace to say ‘Yes, I know you’re with me, and everything will be fine eventually’.

The great Indian sage saint Kabir had said ‘Don’t postpone. If you think that you will find yourself tomorrow, then find yourself today’. So instead of ‘find yourself today’ don’t say ‘today’. Say NOW.

Because in a moment, all the appearance around you can seem to collapse; and then there’s so much of the distracting energy around you that you will crave for these times of peace when you’re able to be in satsang.

So, you are here NOW. You’re here now, and just for a while don’t listen to this insect mind; even when it’s saying, especially when it’s saying ‘No, no, I’m your friend. I’m required for practical things’. All practical things can get finished off in just a minute. All the things which seem like they’re so important…, even to this dear one who is going through all of this, all the events of the previous day would have seemed so important when she was doing them. But now she sees that it was nothing compared to what happened after that.

~ ~ ~  [Later in satsang]

[A sangha member asked Ananta to ‘say a prayer’ for the sangha member mentioned here who is going through so much right now].

Ananta: All my love and blessings to you and to your beautiful family. And may they truly come to this discovery that they are This Indestructible One, that they are That which witnesses birth and death, not just of this body, but of every-body. While in this body, may they discover their Godly Presence. And may they see that this Godly Presence has no need for anything. And may they come to this discovery that even This, what is happening now, is grace. And in this way, may they move away from the concept of death to the Presence of eternal life.

May the Satguru’s grace bless you and all your family, and may they see that God is always with them. May they experience my Father’s love which is unchanging through all appearances. All of them are in my heart and in the heart of this beautiful sangha.

So much love to all of them (you).

Om Namah Shivaya

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Forget about all of this, just for a minute, just now, don’t give anything to the mind. Tell me how what you see is any different from what I see.

And if it is any different, then you come up and speak to me about it. Because I would really happy if all of you could just look; let’s all look together, and you tell me how it is any different. Because Amba said yesterday that I’m saying the same thing every day. I’m actually saying the same thing every day. So let’s make sure that we are actually listening now.

And many of you have these questions about ‘How do you see things? Is it different?’ and I keep saying ‘No’. But let’s go through it together so that there is no feeling that you have not understood. Because any time that it seems like it is not understood, you bring it up and say ‘This is where we differ. This is not how I see it’. Okay?

So, when our eyes are open, there’s a perception of this external world; all the people, all the events, everything is happening in this seeming-outside world. None of you, I feel, will have confusion of this point. When the senses are present then it seems like there is a world around us. And this world of phenomenon has all these events which happen. This is called the external world.

Then, when the senses [eyes] are closed, then you will see that there is an internal world. So, like there were objects in the external world, it seems there is another internal world with different objects. And what are the objects in the internal world? There are thoughts, there is imagination, there are sensations or emotions. And emotions are basically just these sensations which we have labeled. Some we have labeled as anger, some we have labeled as nervousness, some we have labeled as joy.  But basically there’s a sense of some sensational movement, some energetic movement which is different from the regular thoughts. So, in the internal world, all of these objects are perceived.

External world: seemingly this world of atoms and molecules, which is also energy ultimately, is perceived. Internal world: all these objects, all these forms of energy, are perceived.

So, it must be clear now that there is a perceiving going on. Whether it’s external, internal; that there is this process of perceiving which is happening.

Now, if you were to just check: Be aware of everything which is coming is either an external object or an internal object.

And you already know, actually, that there is a witnessing of all of this; otherwise you would not be able to report that this is there or not. Isn’t it like this?

If the mind [thoughts] is coming, you just look at it like another object. Let it come, let it say whatever it is saying, and you say ‘Okay, internal object. Internal object is coming’.

So, when we see like this, all which is moving, all of this is just coming and going, whether seen internally or externally.

Then you can bring your attention to the body also. So all the sensations which seem to appear are also objects, isn’t it, that seem like the body is pulsating, the heart is beating; there might be some pain which is experienced, some discomfort. All of these you will also see that they are internal objects. And there’s a perceiving of all of these sensations also. All of these you will also see that they are internal objects, and there’s a perceiving of all of these sensations also. So let’s clump all of these sensations also as internal objects.

Now forget about the distinction of internal and external. Everything that is appearing and disappearing [are just] just phenomenal objects. Phenomena is appearing and phenomena is disappearing.

Just check whether the witness of this phenomena: Is that also appearing and disappearing? Or it seems to be constantly here?

And it doesn’t matter. Whatever is appearing, let it appear. Be completely open. Don’t resist anything. Let all phenomena with all objects come and go.

Just very simply ask yourself: Is that which is witnessing them, is that also coming and going? Or it seems to be unmoving and unchanging?

When I check, I see that it is completely unmoving and unchanging.

Be vigilant. Don’t let your mind confuse you with some visual representation of what I’m saying. So, don’t make a picture of what I am saying. If the pictures are coming, let them also come and go. Imagination is just another phenomenal object. We’re talking about the seeing, the witnessing which is aware of ALL of this, including the visuals that the mind might be trying to paint.

So, as I am checking now, I can see that this witnessing is completely untouched by any of this phenomenal movement.

And then, very simply, I just check: Is there any difference or any distance between myself and this witnessing, this awareness?

And as I check, it’s completely clear that: Where I am, this awareness is. And, I am everywhere. There is nowhere where I can say that awareness is and I am not. And nowhere that I can say that I am but awareness is not.

So, as I see it now, I could never be a thing, I could never be an object. Because all these objects are just coming and going. And this witnessing stays here untouched through all of this. This awareness is unmoved. Even the process of phenomenal witnessing, phenomenal seeing through the senses, is witnessed by me.

Therefore, I must be this: This awareness, in this simplicity.

And I see that no object, no phenomena has any hold over me. All thoughts are allowed to come and go. All emotions can stay for as long as they like and eventually go. This body can do whatever sensations can happen. And in the same way, what is perceived through the senses is also completely free. And I remain this seeing, untouched by any of this.

So, is there any difference between the way you see it and I see it? If there is a difference, then I would like to know. And remember, I’m asking about the way you SEE it, not about the way you think it or feel it. I would actually like to know that; when you really look: ‘Can it really be any different? Has it ever been any different?’

[Silence]

And once you see that it is like this, then this is the realization of the Self.

Can we keep it that simple? Take away all the frills, all the bells and whistles, and just keep it this simple.

I’ve already said that this is the way I see it. Is it any different from the way you see it?

It’s a very good question, which in the past had been here for a long time. For a long time it was here that ‘How do I know if something is just coming from the mind egoic, or something is coming from a deeper place which is called intuition, is called the Heart’.

Then, the simplest answer revealed itself. And it was so obvious; because we will find that love and ego cannot co-exist. So when a thought is coming, when the mind is saying something, it is always from a perspective of wanting something. It always has the perspective of ‘What’s in it for me?’ It always has some specialness, arrogance; some separation, some sense of being separate is there when it comes from the mind.

So, then it would be easy to say that whatever voice is coming, you just don’t listen. And that is also fine. Because like I said, God does not need to rely on any voice. And yet, what you will find is, especially when your truest desire is Freedom, is Self-discovery, sometime you will find a voice which sounds a little different qualitatively. And you will find that when it speaks it is accompanied by some deep love, some strong peace. And if you find that these accompaniments are there, then you can trust this voice.

So this voice is the voice of your Satguru in your own Heart, which is here to hold your hand and walk with you in this seeming-journey, and help you become more open to the truth.

But we don’t have to come to this sort of situation where we are constantly saying ‘Is this mind? Is this Heart? Is this mind? Is this Heart?’ No. Just don’t believe your next thought.

When this intuition speaks to you it will be quite, actually, unmistakable. Because qualitatively it will seem like it comes from honey. It seems like it has been dipped in honey and in its Presence, it will seem like you are being dipped in honey; just like when you are in satsang actually. You see?

So, simple. First just forget about it, and don’t believe your next thought. When the voice of intuition starts speaking in you or through you or as you, then you will usually find that there’s not any doubt about it. Sometimes there can be, and for that you can ask whether this voice is accompanied with love, with peace and joy. And in this way, you can tell the difference.

Can we look at something, and then see that very quickly this mind comes in to jump in and judge it? You see? Constantly. Whatever our senses are bringing to us, our mind is waiting to interpret and it can seem like we are used to buying these interpretations. And we look at another being or we look at any object. Very quickly it can come, you see? So this interpreter is the root of all this seeming trouble, all this seeming suffering.

That’s why if there’s only one pointing that you have to hear in Satsang, let it be this one. Don’t believe your next thought. And for some of you very quickly a thought might come which is judging this pointing also and says ‘Oh it’s easy for him to say’ or ‘This is too difficult. All thoughts get believed automatically’. Very quickly something like this comes, and you notice that it is believed. But when you notice, then you see that ‘This belief I can keep with myself. It doesn’t have to go to the thought, because if belief goes to the thought then it seems to get energized. It seems to become meaningful for ‘me’. You see? And it becomes part of my identity’.

Q: “Even if it’s just positive?”

Yes, yes yes. So, very good. She says ‘Even if it is positive?’ Yes. Because the Truth, what is real, does not rely on any thoughts. Like Papaji said that ‘You don’t need to do anything to be happy. You need to do something to become unhappy’. Although the mind will say ‘No, no, I need to work towards my happiness’. But truly, the deep peace, the deep happiness that we are speaking of is very natural to you. Very, very natural. And it’s effortless. In fact, effort is taking you away from that which you are looking for.

Because we are coming to this indescribable conclusion about ourself. And no thought can ever truly describe what you are. All thoughts will continue to refer to you as this ‘imagined one’ only. So as I’ve been saying in the last few Satsangs, as we contemplate why sometimes it seems so sticky, this personhood, it’s because the person has been imagined and believed in. And what You Are is not know-able phenomenally. So you want to replace the person concept with another phenomenally seen entity; which is not available here. You truly cannot say anything about Yourself. You can only point to yourself.

It would be much easier if we could say ‘Okay, yes, person is imaginary. But just, you know, look a little left and the real you is sitting over here. And you can see it, here it is’. And you say ‘Yes, yes, this is me. This one was not me and this one is me’. And many actually do that in their minds. So what they do is, they paint a picture of Consciousness or they paint a picture of Awareness in their mind, and they say ‘No, this imagined person is not me but this one (which is also imagined actually) is me now’. And they come to the wrong conclusion that they have understood something.

So you cannot paint a picture of yourself, no matter how glorious the picture might be. And the mind will come and say ‘Yes, yes but this one…, this one is definitely useful’. You see, it’s something you must do. ‘It’s what we need’. This is still the voice of the mind. Otherwise it would mean that God is reliant on some thoughts, some energy construct to decide how to run this world, how to run your life. So don’t let the mind paint this picture for you that it is needed in the so called ‘real world’.

There can be some fear around this. There can be some objections which come which say that, ‘Okay, when I’m at work I use my mind’. You will find that as you let go of these thoughts, then you’re driven by the deeper insights which are just emerging for you, which you call your intuition, which you call the Heart. Any of these words we can use, but you will sense it has a deeper quality about it than just these thoughts which are coming and going.

So, like my Master says, the mind is not your friend. Not yet, anyway.

Q: Namaste Father. There is a lot of resistance to even look who is aware.

Of course. The resistance will be for this only, no? If resistance doesn’t come up now, then how will resistance do its job? The job of resistance is to prevent this looking. So when you’re looking, obviously all this resistance will come. That’s the job of the resistance. To make sure that you stick to personhood; that you’re distracted by this sense of being a person.

So ‘there’s a lot of resistance to even look at who is aware’. So that means that you’re going on the right way. You’re onto something if there is a lot of resistance.

Q: Who is aware or who is aware of Awareness? It feels a lot of pressure.

It’s very good. In this pressure, let the person explode.

Q: Like I will explode.

Yes, so let the person explode. All that can explode, you must let it explode.

Q: It feels scary and this brings me back to mind again. In your presence it feels easy.

Yes, but that’s why we have Satsang every day, Monday – Friday, so that you get used to this.

Q: But at other times when I sit, it’s really scary and total resistance to even be bothered about looking. I lay at your feet Father. Not sure why this is happening.

It’s very natural that it happens like this, and when you speak to the others in the Sangha also, they will tell you, that this is how it goes. In Satsang it feels very easy, everything feels very calm. Then when you step out of the energetic field of Satsang, again it seems like, ‘Oh, it’s become strong again’. So all of you will have that. But I can tell you that this will all settle down, as you keep coming to Satsang, as you have been doing very nicely. You will find that all of these energies will settle down and what you find in Satsang is you will find that it was your own Presence. It was your own Heart. You cannot leave actually.

So, ‘A lot of sadness also will come’, you say. It’s okay though. Today somehow I’m speaking strongly like this, but the fact is that it’s just a feeling. It’s just a sensation. It can never hold you hostage without your belief; without your identification.

Suppose you wake up tomorrow and the rules of the world have been reversed. The sadness is the best thing and happiness nobody wants. Then when sadness is there, then you won’t be sitting moping around about sadness. ‘Sadness, yes, yes. Today my job is done. I woke up and sadness was already here. I didn’t have to work towards it. I must have believed some thoughts in my dream state. That’s why the sadness was automatic’. You see what I’m saying? I know I’m making it sound a little trivial, but that is just to make my point.

So the point is that, it is an emotion. It is coming and going. No state is coming to stay. All that is coming is going. So when it’s coming, just see yes, in this moment this emotion seems to be here. And you will find that with this acceptance itself, it will not seem to have most of its power. And with this acceptance you will be open minded enough to check whether you are really be touched by any of these energetic plays or not. So one morning we wake up and ‘Mr. Grief’ is there, ‘Mr. Sadness’ is there.  Another morning ‘Mr. Joy’ is there. So all these visitors are visiting you. Let them come and go.

It’s only the sense of separation, the sense of identity which says ‘No, this should not be my life’. Do you know better how life should go or does God know better? If we still think that ‘I know better’ then why do we profess this surrender? Therefore even the appearance and the disappearance of emotions must be through the Will of God, isn’t it? And if this God is not powerful enough even to control the flow of emotions, than of what use is he?

So either we surrender or we don’t. It is this half surrender which comes into trouble, you see. Completely surrender. That means everything which is happening is through the Will of God. Through the Will of the Satguru. Then when something comes, whose problem is it? It is the Satguru’s problem. It is God’s problem.

Just refuse to believe the ‘me’. Refuse to believe this ‘me.’ Refuse to believe this ‘me’ when it comes to freedom also. ‘My freedom, my journey, my search, my enlightenment, my spiritual experiences’. All this ‘me’. The basis of all of this is the ‘me’. You see? What is the worst that can happen to this ‘me’?

We speak about these four things, isn’t it? One: all the relationships can go to the dogs. First thing, relationships. Biggest trigger for most of you. Second: this body can become completely unhealthy. Third: you’ll have no money in the bank, no sense of security, nothing, no work. And fourth: this seeking thing just doesn’t stop. This search for freedom just has no end.

Isn’t this the worst case scenario for all four? All your problems are variations of these. Just these four variables which get tweaked around at different points in life and it seems like ‘Oh now this, now this, now this. It constantly feels like I’m dealing with something’. But if there’s no ‘me’, if there’s no belief in this ‘me’, then do any of these four matter?

So the good news is that this ‘me’ is pure imagination. Just pure imagination. So whatever might be happening, nothing is happening to you because you are not this imagined one. Consciousness is the One Doer and the One Experiencer. And if Consciousness is the One Experiencer, then there is never a reason for the person to complain. Because nothing happens to ‘that which does not exist’.

It’s very, you know, very basic. Sometimes I wonder why we have to say these things. But I know that they have to be said. Because here also there existed a very strong belief in the person. This is the divine play. The divine mystery as to how the Absolute One deluded Himself to be a person. But so great is Your power, that Your power of pretend also is so great. That in which the entire multiverse is born; That confuses itself to be just this mere speck of dust. Great, great delusion. But ultimately it comes from Your great power; Your own great power.

Suchitra says, “Beloved Anantaji, Namaskaram. Adi Shankara says in his famous shloka – ‘From Satsanga to Nisangatwah which is true aloneness’. How can one graduate from Satsanga to Aloneness?”

I feel that there is some misunderstanding because what he (Adi Shankara) was referring to is what is Satsang actually.

What is Satsang?

Satsang is the Presence of Being. Being with the Presence. Being with your sense of Being. Being with the Truth, which is Here. So this is Satsang. And attention is completely in the Presence. And from Here, to see the Absolute with the simple question ‘Who is Aware even of this Presence?’

So it’s not aloneness which is the Absolute, you see. Not even there where there is One to be alone. This can be called a no-thingness or the emptiness. This One is all there is. Itself, it is empty of phenomenon, although all phenomenon arise from it.

This pure Awareness is what You are. That’s why we said, first identification with the ‘person’, then for most, there is identification with the Presence ‘I Am’, and then it is seen that ‘I am the Absolute Awareness, which is Aware even of the Presence’.

So when we come to Satsang like this in the Presence of the Master, it is like we are in the Presence of our own Being. The Presence of our own Being which speaks with the mouth of the Master.

So this Presence, and then the complete dissolution of all phenomenon; and you see that you are just this pure Awareness itself.

Your question was ‘How can one recognize the graduation from Satsang to Aloneness?’ A lot of spirituality is made to sound like it is very difficult, to go from this Presence of Being to the Absolute Self. But to be honest, I see no trouble with it.

It is such a simple looking to see that I am aware of this Being also, this Presence also. I must be that which is Aware, which is prior.

All is ultimately Grace. But it seems like when we are suffering, then our mind is more open to the Truth. You see? That’s why I say that suffering is the biggest ally for the Guru. The biggest ally for the Guru is suffering. Because suffering makes you open. And this much openness is needed for you to come to Satsang. Even if it seems like a very intellectual pursuit that started, you know?

Sometimes some of you will come and say that ‘Oh I didn’t suffer, I’m just here’. There are a few rare ones. But the fact is, this question of ‘Who am I?’ or ‘What is my purpose?’ is bothering you so much that you’re suffering because of it. You want an answer to that, you see? Something is not happy until you satisfy yourself with your discovery of what you are.

So this is great Grace, because it causes openness. And that which causes openness …, to be open to the idea that maybe I’m not a person is very rare. How many people do each of us know, outside of sangha, who are open to this concept that ‘I may not be a person’? Very, very few, isn’t it? Yet suffering will do its job, Grace will do its job, and all will ultimately come to this sense of openness when they are ready; when they’re tired of the game.

So it takes a great devotee to make this prayer and say ‘Slap all arrogance [out of me]. Give me all the suffering which is there so I may be open now and see the Truth’.

For the Truth, there is no suffering. Awareness cannot suffer, you see? Just like this space cannot suffer. And the space is not complaining about the color of the clouds which are coming and going.

To presume that I am the doer of my actions, and I have some control over my life is complete fallacy. To presume some personal control over life is complete fallacy. If you presume there is some sort of personal control, you must first show me the person. And if you’re open enough to contemplate this, you will find that there is no person. Then who is there to live a life? Whose life is this? Then you’ll come to the realization that it was God’s life. You’ll see that all that is here appearing is appearing in the Light of Consciousness; in the Light of God. You see?

So the person was just this sense of separation. This sense of identity. This sense that I am separate from you. That there is a ‘me’ here which is separate from the rest. And how to be free from this personhood? Personhood is just perpetuated by our belief in thoughts; because all thoughts are speaking to you personally. So let go of your belief in the next thought. So that was about the person.

Q: “What about the presence?”

So actually, in our three core pointings we’ve done it exactly like this. Person: what does the person want? Freedom from suffering. How to do it? To withdraw belief from your next thought.

The second pointing which I have to offer you, is the question – Can you stop being now? It’s very simple. Don’t let the mind come in and say it’s difficult, it’s abstract. Can you stop being? Just answer it, like a child. Can you stop? You’ll find that no, you cannot stop. This Presence is ever present. It’s here now. This being which cannot be stopped is the presence that we speak of. It is the God of the waking state and the dream state. This sense that I Am. This sense of Being. It is said that God said, ‘I Am That, I Am.’ This sense of Beingness is the Holy Presence of your own immaculate conception. This Being. This is the Presence.

And to have darshan of this presence, all you have to do is contemplate innocently, ‘Can I stop being now?’ What is this sense of Beingness which cannot be stopped? This sense I Am. There is never a universe without the presence of this Being. When waking state comes, it is the presence of this I Am-ness which appears first. So I Am wakes up from inside you. And I Am goes back to sleep within you. This is the Presence. And very easily you can also observe that this Being, I am aware of it. Although it seems like it’s just an extension of me, it’s clear that I am aware of being. And this being is unaware of me. Therefore, I am prior even to this sense of presence. Before I Am.

Just look. Effortless looking. Don’t try to get something. Don’t try to become something. Don’t try to become nothing. Just look. There is an awareness even of this Being. And this awareness is I. This awareness is the Self. And to come to this simple looking, I offer you this question. Am I aware now? Notice that Awareness is here. But it cannot be seen phenomenally. And yet the primal witnessing, the primal seeing, the primal knowing, that I am aware is completely clear.

You are this Awareness. The entire universe is confirming this if you just check. Who is the witness of all these appearances? And in this way the world becomes your wonderful playground. When nothing ever goes wrong, because nothing is ever really happening to you.

May the Master’s Grace bring you to this simple realization of the Self.

Q: Guruji, I have a question. Couldn’t understand the relation between identification and belief. Please could you explain again? At your feet.

Of course. Identification is only a set of beliefs that you have about yourself. When we say ‘I identify as the body’, it is a belief that you are the body. When we say that ‘I identify with my feelings’, it is a belief that these feelings are yours. When ‘I identify with my thoughts’, it’s again that there is this feeling that these thoughts are mine.

So at the root of all these beliefs is this ‘me’. You see? This ‘me’ which is the core identification. That’s why I say belief is the power to pretend. Because this ‘me’ does not exist. You see? This ‘me’ is just made up. It’s an imagined entity. We used to call it ‘the imaginary one’. Or ‘the mythical one’.

So this ‘me’ doesn’t exist, but you have the power to pretend that you are this daydream, this imagined concept. So this power is called belief. Without which you cannot identity.

The Truth does not need identification. You don’t have to identify as Awareness. You just have to see that you are that Awareness.

So identification is the process of believing that you are something. The Truth does not even rely on belief. The Truth just is. It is the identification which relies on belief. If you were not to believe anything at all, no concept about yourself, like a baby before they are two and a half years old, then you will not find that there is a separation between you and the outside. It would seem like all is one. That which we call an awakening experience, actually, is that this sense of separation disappears. This is how a baby is living mostly.

As long as you are identifying with the content, it will seem like you’re on this roller coaster of life. Up and down, up and down. Once you see, you’re just this Awareness, untouched by any up or down, then you will find that the entire phenomenal play is just dancing for you. And sometimes it makes no sense. It makes no sense sometimes. Anandi, for example, was sharing in the morning that the body has been in such pain. It makes no sense; the mind will never understand. ‘So how can this pain be for my enjoyment?’ You see, it’s all part of this story of this ‘me’. And one day if you write your memoirs you’ll see that all of this happened so that it could become part of your story. Because although it can seem like it’s a un-compassionate thing to say, but the fact is even this pain is not happening to you. Not you as a person anyway. It can seem very strong. Because this is when acceptance comes, you see?

Lack of acceptance causes the suffering. By the way, acceptance does not mean being passive about things. Acceptance is just to accept the present moment exactly as it is. And in the present moment if you find yourself walking to a doctor, that is also okay. So it’s not about the external appearances. It’s about what we are believing about ourselves. Does the pain or any other emotional pain, psychological pain, or the events; does it make us a person? It never makes us a person. But it can bring up strong, strong temptation for belief, you see? That’s all it can do. Brings up strong temptation for belief.

Just see if you can experiment with the pain a little bit. Just listen to the pain and say, ‘what are you saying?’ Give it your attention, that’s what it’s screaming for. Just accept it. The pain in this human play is inevitable actually. It might be experienced as body pain. It might be experienced as emotional or psychological pain. Some say, isn’t it, after I broke up with my relationship I could feel the physical pain of it. So this pain is like one energy, which plays in these different ways.

So first, don’t believe the thought that this should not be there. Just know that if something is coming, it is all a play of Grace. The universe makes no mistakes. It has perfect timing also. And it can seem like, ‘ow.’ [Laughing] That’s okay. You’re witnessing even this ‘ow’. You see, YOU are witnessing it although the body might be getting completely beaten up in this pain, but for you that is the witness are still untouched by it.

And there we are One. As the witness, we are One. As the witnessing we are One. As the Awareness, we are One.

Q: I have a question. What is it that can discern between the person, Presence and the Absolute states? Thank you for helping me awaken from samsara. My thanks extends to infinity.

Very good. Beautiful start to the week, such a beautiful question.

So when we say ‘person’ what do we mean? Person means a sense of a separate existence. The sense of individuality. The sense that ‘I am separate from everything else’. That there is a ‘me’ and there is another. There is a ‘me’ and then there is another. So this ‘me’ voice, this voice of separation, is the voice of the person.

And we have something for the person also here. Some of you might find this funny, when I say this; but we have something for the person also here. Because ultimately what does the person want? The person wants freedom from this apparent suffering, isn’t it? The person wants, ultimately through all that it is doing, whatever label that it puts…, ultimately it wants just the freedom from suffering. And the freedom from suffering is very, very simple. Freedom from this suffering seems very complex, but in actuality it’s very simple. And it’s all about the now. All about right now.

So right now, to be free from your suffering: Just refuse to believe your next thought. Just refuse to believe your next thought.

Aradhana had posted this very nice Calvin and Hobbes comic in the Sangha of Being group. I wonder if some of you saw that. They were talking about the same thing. And maybe some of you misread it; at least the way that I read was different than the way some of you might have read it also. So he says that ‘If I want to be happy’ (I’m paraphrasing, but basically he said) ‘If I want to be happy, then all I have to do is not to give attention to my thoughts. Not to be with my thoughts.’ That’s what he said. And then immediately, like the voice of the mind itself came, and he said ‘But isn’t that such an irresponsible way to live?’ And then the kid says something like ‘It’s such a nice and pleasant day’ or something like this. Because the mind came and said ‘But isn’t that such an irresponsible way to live?’ But he completely ignored that. So the core of the pointing for the person, the core of all the pointings which is an offer here for the person, was covered in that one frame of a comic.

All that is required is for you not to believe your next thought. It sounds very simplistic to the mind. And oftentimes the mind will confuse you between ‘attention’ and ‘belief’. So we’re not even speaking of attention because that seems more difficult. So if thoughts are coming, let them come. Be completely open to them, but just don’t give them your belief.

There are two separate forces. For those of you who are new here, I want you to contemplate this. There are two separate forces. One is attention, and the other is belief.

Oh there it is. I wonder if all of you can read that. [The Calvin and Hobbes comic.] So Calvin says ‘You know what I’ve noticed Hobbes? Things don’t bug you if you don’t think about them. So from now on, I simply won’t think about anything I don’t like and I’ll be happy all the time.’ And immediately Hobbes says, ‘Don’t you think that’s a pretty silly and irresponsible way to live?’ And Calvin completely ignored that and said ‘What a pretty afternoon.’

It’s very beautiful, it’s very Advaita. It’s very satsang. A little bit of nick-picking I’ll do about it, just so that it makes it easier for you, which is that he said, ‘I won’t think about all the negative stuff.’ But anytime you say ‘I won’t think about something’ it again becomes a decision and something for you to do; and sooner or later some thought will come which will be negative. Isn’t it? So don’t try to resist any thought. Let them all come and go. Without your belief they won’t have any power. You see?

And why is it not a silly and irresponsible way to live? Why is it not a silly and irresponsible way to live? Some of you who are new might be asking this question, right? They might be saying that, ‘Oh but Hobbes had a point.’ But to presume that I am the doer of my actions and I have some control over my life is complete fallacy. To presume personal control over life is a complete fallacy.

So if you presume there is some personal control, you must first show me the person. And if you’re open enough to contemplate this, you’ll find that there is no person. Then who is there to live a life? Whose life is this?

Then you’ll come to the realization that it was God’s life. You’ll see that all that is here appearing is appearing in the light of Consciousness, in the light of God. You see? So the person was just this sense of separation, this sense of identity, this sense that ‘I am separate from you’. That there is a ‘me’ here which is separate from the rest.

And how to be free from this personhood? Personhood is just perpetuated by our attention and belief in thoughts, because all thoughts are speaking to you personally. So let go of your belief in the next thought.

So that was about the person. Then we said ‘What about the Presence?’ So actually in our three core pointings we’ve done it exactly like this.

[First pointing]: Person, what does the person want? Freedom from suffering. How to do it? To withdraw belief from your next thought.

Second pointing which I have to offer you is the question: ‘Can you stop being now?’

It’s very simple. Don’t let the mind come in and say ‘It’s difficult, it’s abstract.’ It’s nothing. Can you stop being? Just answer it like a child. Can you stop? You’ll find that no, you cannot stop. This Presence is ever-present. It’s here now. This being which cannot be stopped is the Presence which we speak of. It is the God of the waking state and the dream state. This sense that ‘I am’. This sense of being.

It is said that God said ‘I Am that I Am’. This sense of Beingness is the holy Presence, your own immaculate conception, this Being. This is the Presence. And to have darshan of this Presence, all you have to do is contemplate innocently: ‘Can I stop being now?’ What is this sense of Beingness which cannot be stopped? This sense ‘I am’. There is never a universe without the Presence of this Being. When waking state comes, it is the Presence of this ‘I Am-ness’ which appears first. ‘I Am’ wakes up from inside you. ‘I Am’ goes back to sleep within you. This is the Presence.

And very easily you can also observe that ‘This Being, I am aware of it. Although it seems like it’s just an extension of me; it’s clear that I am aware of being. And this Being is unaware of me. Therefore I am prior even to this sense of Presence; before ‘I Am’.

Just look. Effortless looking. Don’t try to get something. Don’t try to become something. Don’t try to become nothing. Just look. There is an awareness even of this Being. And this Awareness is I. This Awareness is the Self.

And to come to this simple looking, I offer you this question: ‘Am I aware now?’

Notice that awareness is here. But it cannot be seen phenomenally. And yet the primal witnessing, the primal seeing, the primal knowing that ‘I Am Aware’ is completely clear.

You are this Awareness. The entire universe is confirming this.

If you just check: ‘Who is the witness of all these appearances?’

And in this way, the world becomes your wonderful playground, when nothing ever goes wrong because nothing is ever really happening to you.

May the Master’s Grace bring you to this simple realization of the Self.

Q: Dear Father, all I see is Love. Everything is Love and nothing else. I have to go to work soon so will watch the rest of this on Youtube.

So good to see you here, my dear. It’s been a few days, isn’t it?

Q: It’s been quite a while.

Yes.

Q: I used to have a lot of questions and I just don’t anymore. I feel like you; I don’t plan anything. It just comes.

It’s very wonderful, isn’t it?

Q: Yes. I still feel habit to talk about myself, or I feel myself getting tight or small sometimes, but it doesn’t last. It’s just…, nothing lasts! [Laughter]

And yet we see that this is the way it has always been. Only difference now is my belief in my constriction is not there.

Q: It’s so funny to think that I was so serious about that. It is the cosmic joke.

A cosmic joke. How the Supreme Lord could confuse himself to be just this ‘person’. That is the divine play, the Cosmic joke

Q: You know I was talking to my friends yesterday and it’s just…, that’s all I feel moved to talk about, if I do talk. The confusion people have; and just looking at them I was like ‘You don’t have to be confused’. But I understand why they are. I was telling somebody…, they felt like they had to be on a path to awaken and they had to do something. And I just laughed because I see now that even my pretend doing…, the best way I can describe it was that I felt like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly. And there was this little ‘me’ thinking that I was making this all happen by doing this and doing that. And it was just all happening by itself. Even this supposed journey. Everything was just happening. The only difference was that there was this little ‘i’ who thought that it was doing it. And since I have got it out of the way, now it is just happening. There is nobody doing anything. Nothing.

It is a very beautiful example, you see? What does a caterpillar have to do to become a butterfly?

Q: Nothing. [Laughter]

The butterfly was pretending to be the caterpillar wanting to become the butterfly. The butterfly pretending to be the caterpillar wanting to become the butterfly.

So I have the easiest job in the word, [laughter] just to remind you that you have always been only ‘that’. You have always been the butterfly.

So the only thing I have to do, (if it seems like something I’m doing), is just to remind you to look, just check: Are you really a caterpillar or are you just pretending? …, are you giving too much energy to your thoughts?

That’s all. Basically that’s all.

Because not even intellect is needed. Not even knowledge is needed. What book must a caterpillar read to become a butterfly? ‘101 steps to butterfly-dom’.

That could be a best seller, you see? As long as you feel that you are this caterpillar, and somebody gives you this book which tells you how to become a butterfly; that could become a best seller: 7 steps to butterfly.

Q: I think what’s so beautiful, too, is that anything can happen. You know, I used to think that an enlightened being lived a certain way and was on a certain path and had to do these things to awaken. And I really had this story in my head and I believed it very much. And I don’t see it that way at all. And no matter what happens, I thought ‘Oh, well, suffering doesn’t happen and pain doesn’t happen. Only goodness and joy and unconditional love’. And then I realized, you know, through this understanding and getting rid of the ‘me’ that ‘unconditional love’ means that no conditions; that anything can happen. It’s my interpretation; I thought your example of the baby was perfect. It cries when it is in pain and then it forgets about it. Isn’t attached to anything.

Exactly. And anything can happen and yet nothing is ever happening to ‘me’. Because there really isn’t a ‘me’.  If this is seen, then what can really trouble us?

I like this example very much: The caterpillar and Butterfly. I think we can have a lot of fun with it.

Q: Yes, everyone was talking at our book study about Awakening and you know, the belief in how that happens. I thought about all the teachers that I have met, or read about their journey. There was no specific way. There is no specific way in which that happens. It happens when it happens and then you find out that it really didn’t really happen. [Laughs]

Exactly. Yes, the mind can have lots of concepts about how one should be if they are free. They should wear only white clothes or saffron clothes. All of that. ‘How can he wear comic t-shirts or superhero t-shirts and come to Satsang like this?’

But I feel that it’s very important because what happened in the past, at least in India, is very much of this ‘aura creation’. And not all of this was dis-ingenious actually; there was something in that. But it sort of created this sense of distance; that freedom is at a distance and is only available for those who are now Swamiji’s and have taken the vow on celibacy or something like that, and it’s only available for those kind of people.

So I wanted to…, the feeling here was to show you that it is completely regular, completely regular. That’s why I have no trouble talking about the fact that I wanted to learn programming last year or I took my kids to the Avengers movie. All of this is just regular stuff. So whatever feels good is fine.

So sometimes, like when I went to Tiruvanammalai it did not feel appropriate for me to sit in Arunachala and the wear a very causal t-shirt or something like that so I wore another shirt. But it doesn’t mean that anything else changes, you see.

So all these are just concepts which the mind can pick up and say ‘But he is like this, he wears these kind of clothes, he has work, he is into investing’. All of these things can be barriers for the mind, and can say but ‘What kind of Being is this doing Satsang?’ And I feel to convey to you is that it is completely regular. What happened here is complete regular and therefore it is completely possible for everyone. Nothing all at needs to be renounced; no path needs to be followed, just little openness. Just a little openness to check: ‘What am I in reality?’

And this little openness I can work with, I can work with very beautifully and very quickly. If all of you are sharing, then when you share, then your words will sound like Satsang; with no attempt to sound spiritual or anything like that. I don’t feel any of you are making an effort to speak like this. It is just that these words are flowing. Isn’t it?

So the regular-ness of life continues and yet your mouth is speaking words which are so beautiful from the Satguru himself. All of you.

May you all continue to shine in this way, and bring many, many Beings who come to your Presence to this simple understanding.

Q: Thank you, Father.

Thank you so much, my dear.

Q: I love you.

You, too.

Q: So happy.

Same, same.

Q: There is a peace as long as I am sitting silently. As soon as I am moving and getting active again, the peace is not there anymore.

Your freedom is not dependent on which state is showing up. So don’t confuse freedom to be some state; whatever the state might be. Freedom is the allowing of all states to come and go. In that way, you’re not constricted, you’re not closed. Just be completely open. Then you will find that there is a deeper peace. And this deeper peace means that You-as-Awareness are not touched by any of this.

So, the phenomenal peace, the feeling of peace and quiet, that [peace and quiet] can go into noise and activity. But the true peace is your peace of being untouched by any of this. Therefore, peace also sometimes can be a confusing word. Because when the Sage talks about this peace which is unchanging, they are talking about the peace of Awareness; untouched, unmoved. It does not mean that in the Sage’s life there are not these times that are full of activity and noise, and times where this quietness and peace is there phenomenally. But internally, inside as Awareness, nothing has moved. This is the real peace.

As more and more now you are marinating in your True Self, you will see that this peace is not changing. The phenomenal peace can come and go.

Q: This real peace I don’t know yet.

It’s always been with you. It’s just that we’ve been believing our thoughts about states which are coming and going, but this which we speak of cannot be taken away from you. Just like you cannot stop witnessing, and you cannot stop Being now. In the same way this pure peace is just the nature of your Awareness itself. It cannot be taken away from you.