BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

There are times in everyone’s life, this experience called life, that everything seems completely hopeless. Everything seems completely hopeless and it looks like we’re closed in, we’re boxed in from all directions. And it seems like the most miserable time that anyone can have. It seems like this, isn’t it, that when you run out of moves you don’t know what to do; no one is accepting you, all these kind of things are happening, whatever they might be related to; usually around relationships, but also around other topics.

And it must be seen that when I run out of moves like this, outside, also I run out of moves inside. Because first what do we try and do? ‘How can I figure out the right solution? How do I figure this out?’ Because first we try to rationalize it. First we try to say ‘Okay, if I do this, can I fix it?’ Doesn’t work. ‘If I do this, can I fix it?’ Doesn’t work. Then we try to rationalize it to ourselves. We also try to rationalize it to ourselves and say something to make us feel better. But we see that no thought is helping; no idea, no concept is helping. And it can seem like this is a terrible place to be. No action is helping, no thought is helping. All of my emotions and sensations, all of them seem negative. Then what are we left with? No action, no thought, no emotion; nothing is helping. So, what is left?

That is why actually, although to the mind all of this sounded very terrible, it is the most auspicious thing to happen. Because we left our reliance on action, we left our reliance on thoughts, and we left our reliance on emotion, on how we are feeling.

This leads to the opening of a door which is opening inside; to this discovery of finding out what is here prior to emotion, what is here prior to thought, what is here prior to outside action.

Usually in the world it is seen that unless these kind of strong situations come, we’re not truly open to looking. Usually. In some cases it happens on its own or the urge to Self-discovery is present without any of these events, but usually in most cases it is found that we need this, to be boxed in and to run out of moves, like my Master says.

Nothing; no practice also is helping. No mantra is helping, no practice is helping; nothing is changing. Emotions are still negative, thoughts are attacking indifferences, and outward actions seem like more and more conflict is coming. Then what is left?

This is the wonderful opportunity to discover That which is beyond all of this appearance. All of these appearances will come and go. That which remains; this is the opportunity to discover That.

It’s very beautiful, because now we are not going to be satisfied just by some answer, some concept. Because we’re saying ‘I’m done with it all! …, all the spirituality. I’ve studied books, I’ve read the great Masters and Sages. Yet I am here. I’ve done all the japa, all the pradakshina, kriya…, everything which is prescribed. And yet, I am here’.

It’s a beautiful opening. It’s a beautiful opening. I know it’s not easy to accept when we are going through this. But you will discover that you are getting gifts greater than any other gift; you’re gifting yourself back to yourself. You’re losing all interest in that which is mental, that which is external.

This is the beautiful dispassion of Ram. If some of you have read the Yoga Vasistha, initially Ram is completely despondent; completely despondent although he has everything. He’s a prince, but he’s so despondent. And if you read only that chapter in the Yoga Vasistha you could end up being completely depressed [Laughs] because the futility of this world seems so clear when the young prince says ‘What is in all of this; all these jewels and this palace and all these pleasures? When I was a baby, I cried. As a teenager, I’m driven by all these needs and desires. I am older, then I want more and more conquest. When I get older, I’m worried about this body is going. What is the point of all of this?’

What happened in this dispassion; because he was not interested? His father said ‘The whole kingdom is here for you. All of your people, they’re waiting for you expectantly. You will be a great king’. And he says ‘I’m just not interested. None of this interests me. I don’t find anything which is lasting. I don’t find anything which is meaningful. Tell me, Father, what is it? What is all of this about?’

Although it sounds like the story of a prince many, many long years ago, isn’t it our story? We go through these phases and phases of life, being somebody, wanting something. And what happened? Did we find that lasting peace? Did we find that joy? Did we find meaning in anything in the world?

So then the question to be asked is: When this strong feeling of dispassion comes, almost to the level of despondency, then is it good news or bad news?

Because what happened after that? After that what happened is the great Sage Vasistha comes and he just shares the Truth. He shares the Truth. And what happened? Did the entire counsel, the set of ministers and the king and everyone who listening to what Vasistha had to say, did they all discover the Truth for themselves? No, it was just Ram who was made ripe enough through all of this seeming-suffering.

It’s almost once a week actually; someone will come and they say that ‘I’m just stuck! I don’t know what to do, where to go, what is going to happen’. Sometimes I will say that even this is Grace. And sometimes it feels inappropriate to say that because the situation can seem so strong on the outside. But inwardly I still know, this is Grace.

And it’s a beautiful time; it’s a beautiful time to be stuck in this way. Because we want to now not pretend about anything. No thought is attractive to us, even emotions we don’t care about because we’ve seen that they come and go. So already, most of the work of satsang is done, if you’re here already. So not even words, not even pointing is required. Just to be in the Presence of satsang will open out.

The only caution is not to go with any fantasy, any visualization, any ideas, you see? Only just report from whatever is clearly perceived. Make no visuals about anything at all.

‘If God is here, then he must come and get me now, because I’m done!’

You see? Like this it becomes.

So we made this call to God: ‘If you’re here, just come, now. I’m done with all my strategy, plans, ideas about life, all my identities; all have gone to dust. I’m empty now of all of this’.

And then the Master appears and he says ‘Yes, God is here. Find out what is here’.

[Silence]

‘Does that which is here have some desire, some aversions, have some ideas about life?’

That comes later.

And we’re not to give importance to the trickster which comes and says all kinds of things. Be clear that it is a trickster! Be completely clear that the mind is only a trickster. Even the great Sage Kabir in India said that ‘This mind is a tug’. (If we translate it from Hindi it means ‘a con’.) It’s a con artist.

So now, as you’re discovering what is here already, don’t go with any mental commentary about what is trying to interpret your discovery; which is trying to comment on what is being discovered or not.

Just stay with ‘What Is’.

Let everything else come and go.

Stay with what is not coming and going.

Then you will see that even the instruction ‘Stay with’ is not required, because you are That already.

This body will come and go. One of my teachers said ‘We live as if we will never die; and we die as if we never lived’. See? So, know that this body will come and go. All our thoughts, attachments, identities…, everything will be dust. All these emotions and sensations…, nothing; they mean nothing. Don’t spend another minute giving meaning and belief to all this which is completely meaningless.

The Master says ‘When we chase the world, then the world runs from us. And when we stop, then the world wants to come and kiss us’.

Truly ask, truly ask whether I am done with this play.

[Silence]

And be completely honest with yourself at least about the answer.

[Silence]

Because many times externally we can keep saying ‘Yes, yes. I’m done, I’m done’. But internally we’re still hoping for something to happen here which will be meaningful; to have a story which will have a nice turn or a nice ending.

And if something still wants to play, then nothing can stop it. But at least then you will be clear that it is just a play. Therefore this contemplation is very important.

I can only share from what has been seen here; and what has been seen here is that nothing that is changing, nothing that is coming and going, nothing that has ‘states’ has meaning for me now.

Of course, this realm still has complete potential for joy and grief. But even these are just appearances; part of the play. And I remain untouched from all of this.

I’m speaking as your voice now, your own inner voice.

Because even through these seeming-strong upheavals, you will not deny that there is a silent witnessing which is quietly just aware of all that is happening in front of it.

So when I say ‘It’s so much…, all this is happening to me’…, there is still the witnessing of it, isn’t it, to which all of this is happening; no matter what the happening is, how strong it might seem.

We find this witnessing, and then it is natural for us to ask:

Am I this content?

Am I just this happening which is happening?

Or am I the witnessing of all of it?

And don’t let your mind come in and be smart, because then it will start applying Advaita very quickly and saying ‘But I’m both’.

Just look:

Am I that which is changing, which is appearing and disappearing?

Or am I that which is the unconcerned witnessing of this entire play?

[Silence]

Then you find that I am just this witnessing, untouched by any of this play.

And then we can say that even this play is arising within Me, as Me.

Therefore, I used to say that: First, just be the witness. Just remain as the witness; the witness of thoughts, witness of sensations, witness of the world, witness of the body. Just remain as the witness.

Then after some time, I will ask you:

Is there even an entity called the witness?

Aren’t you just this Witnessing itself?

If there were some attributes to this entity, wouldn’t those also be witnessed?

And are you ever just the content of what is witnessed?

Are you not primarily the Witnessing itself, this Awareness itself?

[Silence]

Aren’t you this space which is prior to phenomenal space?

Are you touched by time?

Because if you’re not touched by space and time, how can events in space and time really touch you?

How can that which is born inside This, space and time, touch You, if space and time itself are born inside You?

[Silence]

See if this is your experience or not already.

Don’t let these just be words.

See that all that is arising is just a dance in front of You.

[Silence]

Who is this ‘I’?

[Silence]

Can we not now leave everything that happens in space and time to the Creator of space and time?

[Silence]

Should it not really be His problem?

[Silence]

Can a mere object in space and time do anything to change this realm of time and space?

[Silence]

Therefore, now, get this burden off your shoulders, that you can move even a blade of grass here. Rid yourself of this arrogance that any power you have.

[Silence]

I cry with you and I laugh with you.

But it is never forgotten that this is just God’s leela.

Q: “I just had this doubt. If I am not this person, and I just ‘am’, then what is the purpose of this existence?”

So, this ‘just am’…,  ‘I am’ is experiencing all of this. This experience of this is the purpose. Can we put it simply like that? Whatever is happening is the purpose. Whatever is tasted in this realm is the purpose. When we go for a movie, the purpose is to experience the movie. Does the movie touch you? Does it change you? No.

Just to be able to share this moment with yourself, in this seeming-duality of this satsang also, is the purpose. Beautiful, isn’t it, that you could play this role where there is one who is on the chat over there and he asks a question, and there is one who is sitting over here that is answering this; and this is just a play that you’re having with Yourself. It’s all just One.

Just like a child on a playground…, this is the purpose of this existence.

When you want me to take something seriously, the best I can do is pretend to take it seriously. Then don’t make me laugh when we’re having a serious meeting. [Laughs] Because when we say that ‘I am not here. It is This which is inside me, and I’m not doing this’…, every time we check, we see that this is true, you see?

All of this is just a play happening in front of Me.

This is your own Seeing. Your own Seeing is like this.

So although we might look at some of these times as not the best of times when this sort of thing happens, we find that later there is only gratitude for all of this.

[Long silence]

Satsang has brought all of you to the Presence of God. Clearly, apparently, it has always been the Presence of God. But now this Presence is getting more and more clear. Whether your mind admits it or not, that doesn’t matter. But to be in the Presence of satsang is to be in the Presence of your own Being.

In the waking state, I find that there is nothing better than just to taste this Presence; to be immersed in this, to drown in this. This is the Ganga, this is the amrit, this is the Satguru, this is your own Being, which for maybe millions of years of this dream time has not been apparent to you. Maybe for millions of lifetimes, this has not been apparent. And now it is experienced with such clarity, such unmistakable Seeing of the Presence.  [Silence]

Just be here now. Be HERE now. Don’t go with anything the mind is saying. Just allow it to say whatever it likes; let it come and let it go. All our problems, all our suffering, everything has just been a story. Because every moment, every experience actually has been pure like this. It is only the stories which have been a problem. And we cannot solve it with the mind; anything. Because when the mind hears ‘You have no problem without the story’ it makes a story about you being the one without the story; you wanting to be the one without the story. So it makes a story out of that also. Don’t try to solve it with the mind.

Just see what is already here.

Nothing is missing in the right now.

[Silence]

You have toys called ‘Time’ and ‘Space’. You have these toys called time and space. You must check whether you are done playing with them or not. And if you’re not done playing with them, that is completely fine. Then at least play. Enjoy the play.

[Silence]

Look at this realm with fresh eyes. See where is everything experienced; all seeming others;  experienced here [points to heart area, to himself]. All these objects, experienced here. We go out to the terrace, the entire view, it’s experienced here.

There are no edges to This.

You cannot find the boundary to yourself.

Everything is here.

Without ‘I Am’ nothing is.

This Presence is here.

There is no limit to anything.

Because You are the unlimited One.

[Silence]

And because you have believed for so long that you are just this bundle of flesh, blood and bones, this small miniscule not-even-grain of sand, that is why it seems to be taking some time to come to the realization, to settle the realization of your enormity, your endlessness, your timelessness.

[Silence]

And you will come to this realization that ‘Everything which is appearing and disappearing is only in service to me’. All that is happening is just…, even at the level of Being…, it is just for your joy, it is for your entertainment. If you want to look at it simply, you can say that ‘Everything is happening just to make me laugh or cry, to entertain me in some way’.

[Silence]

You see, satsang is very simple; sangha is very, very simple.

You’ve given up your belief in thoughts, and Truth will not escape you.

It is the getting used to the Seeing: ‘I Am All That Is. I Am All There Is’. This settling in seems to be the process, you see; the seeming-process.

But it’s not that ‘All There Is’ is settling into ‘All There Is’. It is that all the beliefs about the false are being cleared away. All the pretenses about being just an object in this world are being dropped off.

What now, in the appearance, can you call ‘me’ or ‘mine’? Truly. What in the appearance can you truly say is ‘me’ or ‘mine’? What’s the basis for this? If there is no personal ‘I’ in this, and it cannot be found after years of looking, are we going to persist with this belief?

[Silence]

So, either you can say that ‘I do not exist phenomenally at all’ or you can say ‘The entire realm of phenomena is within Me’.

This is what you See, right now.

This is all that you See.

You don’t have to ‘come’ to this Seeing.

This can be another confusion, that ‘I must come to this’. You are Seeing this already.

All that is being experienced phenomenally is being experienced as the ‘I Am’ within this Being, by and as this Being Itself.

Only the mind will separate; make many out of this One. Without the mind, can you make many out of this One?

[Silence]

And you can tell me, is it okay if we speak like this? Or does it just seem like ‘This is some fantasy world which is being spoken of that has nothing to do with where we are’. And as always, you can always say something; that ‘This fit; but this one is not resonating is here, because the way I see it is the other way’. Always, always, for anything.

Sometimes, when we just let it flow like this, I know that there is no hope for the mind to get here. So initially it might struggle a little bit; and if it is struggling, then you might say ‘Okay, just drop it. I am not going to understand anything’. This is fine. But if it is struggling and then you say ‘This is frustrating. I can’t get it. This is all greek and latin’ then you let me know, and you say ‘This is what I’m not resonating with’.

Because actually this is your own Being which is sharing its own direct experience right now.

I’m feeling today to cover a little bit from the basics; just to start from the seeming-ground level, and then see what moves from there.

So what is actually going on here? [Laughs] What is actually going on here when we say ‘satsang’, when we say ‘coming to your own truth’. We say things like this. What is going on is that it seems that one who comes into satsang comes with the sense that ‘I-as-a-person am here to get some peace and joy which lasts, because I-as-a-person found that I’ve tried many different things, and I don’t seem to get this happiness, peace and joy which lasts. Yes, I’ve had glimpses of this, they come, and I go through these glimpses and I feel that it will last’.

Through relationships, through money, through healthy body we feel that something will last. But it never does. The world keeps changing; everything around us keeps changing, this body keeps changing, relationships keep changing. You see? So it doesn’t last. So the person says ‘I give up on all of this. I give up on all of this stuff. And I want to find some ever-lasting peace. How do I get this?’ And then we must have heard from somewhere or we must have read somewhere or we must have seen a video of something, and it seems like ‘Here, in satsang, in spirituality, I will find some peace’. You can call it peace, you can call it freedom, you can call it liberation. But basically this one comes into satsang looking for some stability. It’s tired of the ups and downs of life, typically.

Then what happens? They walk into satsang, completely clear that ‘I am a person who wants this, this and this’ like walking into a shop and saying ‘This is my list of things that I want. Peace (tick), happiness (tick), joy (tick)’. This is the grocery list we want to check off in our list when we come into satsang.

But what happens in satsang, especially in the satsang which is very direct, someone asks you this question: Are you a person in the first place? We’ll come to what your checklist is, but first can we truly discover if you are truly what you say you are. You’ve come into my shop, saying ‘I am this’. Can I have some evidence of this which you claim that you are?

This question is asked first; straight off. [Laughs] Straight off, this question is asked. For some, this question is too strong. ‘Oh, no, no, no. I’m here for my checklist, and you’re asking for my I.D. I’m willing to pay, you see, I’m willing to pay for my checklist. Tell me what it takes’. We say: No, no. First, before we get to what you feel must happen here, let’s become clear about this identity which you claim to profess. ‘I am this person that wants something’.

So it is this initial openness to This question, to question our identity, which seems like it’s the most time-consuming aspect of satsang. All the effort, all the seeming-effort is to get us to look for this identity and to take the focus away from our shopping list for some time.

Now, if someone after this kind of direct-ness still stays in satsang, then what happens? Then there seems to be phase of dissolution, all these ideas start to get dissolved. As we start looking for the person we start realizing the irrelevance of all the beliefs that we have carried about ourselves. Because all these concepts are just attached to something that does not exist. And every time we check and we don’t find ‘Who is the one? Who is the one even who wants peace? Who is the one who wants happiness?’ We don’t find this one. Then the force of desires and the force of wanting, force of running of things, all this starts to abate [lessen, reduce, remove], because we cannot find the center of desire, we cannot find the one who has all of these expectations.

So a lot of this dissolution can start. It can look very different; every expression it can look different. Some will laugh through all of it, some will cry, some will sit seriously. But basically, this is what is happening. Every time we check, and look to find the person, we cannot find. And there can be a period where we are just stunned. ‘How could it be that we were in this belief for so long, the belief of being a person, and here when I’m looking, I just cannot identify it. I cannot identify the owner of this body, cannot find the one who has relationships, cannot find anyone who wants security or anything at all’. So then, we come to this seeing more and more that no person exists. There is nobody here to suffer. So this is how it starts, usually.

Then some question might arise through the teacher or through your own intuitive sense: ‘Okay, the person does not exist. I am not that who I always presumed myself to be. Then who am I?’

And it is great auspiciousness if this question arises. ‘I cannot find this identity called the ego, called the person, but I do sense that I exist. I cannot deny my existence. Only I’m confused now about who I am. What is it that I am?’

Then the teacher says: Just look at what is here; unchanging, unmoving. What is here? He says: Don’t be interested in that which is coming and going. Because if God is real, if the Self is real, then it cannot come and go. What is it that is ever-present here?

Then we realize that that which is ever-present is my own sense that I exist. I am. Not the thought ‘I exist’. Not the thought ‘I am’. Just this sense that I exist. I am.

Therefore the teacher says: Can you stop being now? Can you stop being?

And it becomes clear that ‘No, of course not; cannot stop being. There is a Presence of ‘I’ here, there is a Presence ‘I am’ here which cannot be switched off’.

And then we can say ‘I am this. This is always here. I am that I am’. This is your own Self-discovery as God, because it is God who said ‘I am that I am’. (But the label is not important).

And this is very beautiful because we find that every single appearance appears only in the Presence of this ‘I Am’. So this ‘I Am’ is revered in all traditions; all traditions. You can call it Om, you can all it Atma, Consciousness, Being, God, Self…, many even call it Self. So, we come to this beautiful point of discovery. In most traditions, they stop here. Actually it is enough; to come to this discovery ‘I Am that I Am’. And this is very, very beautiful.

And you see that every single expression arises out of this sense ‘I Am’. Every single expression, even the expression of different forms of God himself are just an expression from this ‘I Am-ness’. From here, as unassociated Being, just this pure ‘I Am’, if there is an urge for Krishna to be here, then Consciousness itself feels to take the form of Krishna and is here, now. Even before now. If it says ‘I want to taste myself as Shiva’ then Shiva is here. Jesus; Jesus is here. Consciousness is completely unlimited.

And so many of you have come to this realization of this sense of Being. But there is something in the mind which under-estimates this, you see? Taste the beauty of this Beingness.

So we can say that we came with just a belief that ‘I am a person’. It started off with just a belief. Then coming to the discovery that ‘I’ve always been this Presence, this Presence of God’. It is the discovery that ‘I have always been This’. Not that ‘I now become This; after satsang I have become something. I have Always been This’.

For some of you, just naturally, an even deeper question might arise: ‘I am aware of even this Presence. Even this Presence of ‘I Am’, I am aware of. There is awareness of this Being’.

And it’s completely clear that there is awareness of this Being; just as it is clear that there is awareness of phenomenal entities, objects. Therefore we can say that it is the same.

To say that ‘I am aware of the Presence’

is the same as saying:

‘I know that I’m aware of the Presence’

which is the same as saying:

‘I am aware that Awareness is here’.

Otherwise we would not say ‘I know I am aware of the Presence’. You know that there is awareness of Presence means that there is awareness even of Presence.

Therefore, whatever the content might be; it might be this Presence or it might be some other …, it might be a thought, it might be a sensation, it might be a physical external object; but you are clear that there is awareness of this.

Therefore, you are already aware that there is Awareness here.

To be able to say that ‘I am aware’ means that you know it, directly.

For You, this is the simplest thing. But for the mind, it is the impossible thing, because there is no phenomena which is experienced. In this way, the awareness of Awareness actually is the only non-phenomenal experience. The only other thing which comes close to this is the experiencing of time. We do not ‘taste’ it phenomenally yet you are aware of the movement of time; in that way at least you can experience it. But for Awareness being aware of Itself, even the movement cannot be …, It’s just simply here.

So, we’re not doubting the existence of Awareness. But what we’re always doubting is ‘I’m not sure whether I got it’ and yet in that same instance we say ‘Yes, there is awareness of object, there is awareness of something’. That means it is clear that it is awareness of …, it is not ‘Beingness’ of an object.

You’re not saying ‘I’m Being an object’.

You’re saying ‘I’m Aware of an object’.

To be able to say this itself means that it is Seen.

It is seen that: I am aware that I am aware. I know that I am aware.

And when checked:

I cannot find any space between myself and this Awareness.

No distance between myself and this Awareness.

I find nowhere where Awareness is not.

Therefore I see that whenever I check this, I must be there to check;

for I am everywhere that Awareness is.

I find no separation, no distance between myself and this Awareness.

When we check, is there anywhere that Awareness is not?

So we can say that:

To say that ‘I am here’ means that there is an awareness that I am here.

So we cannot now find any difference between saying ‘I’ and ‘Awareness’.

Some sense of difference between myself and Awareness itself, we cannot find.

Even if there were an idea that there were something prior to Awareness,

then Awareness must be there to be aware of it.

So, we see that this is my truest nature, my absolute nature;

this Awareness which is aware even of the Presence of Being.

The mind, if it’s got some energy left, it will pull all the stops. And it will be things like ‘I don’t get it still…, But so what? …, Nothing really happened…, How does this help you?’ All this kind of resistance can come. And you see that all of this is seen. You are aware of this. ‘It is just coming and going, and I am still here. Whatever the appearance might be, it is coming and going. And I’m just aware of it. It doesn’t really touch me. Nothing happens to me no matter what the appearance is. This Awareness remains untouched, unmoving, through time and space. The play of time and space happen inside me actually’.

So we started off with just a belief; and very circumstantial evidence that ‘I am a person’.

Then we said ‘I find no person. When I look, I find nothing. No person is here’.

And yet I cannot deny my existence, that I am here. I cannot deny this.

Therefore, I must be this Presence. I Am.

And then something can say ‘Even this Being, I am aware of it.

I’m aware that there is something called Awareness of this Being’.

Therefore, when we ask the question: ‘Am I aware now?’ it is simply seen that awareness is here.

And after it is seen that awareness is here, then the mind comes and says ‘Oh, because you’re aware of some object, we can come to this conclusion that awareness is here; not before’.

But see what actually happens. There is already awareness of these thoughts.

That means that you See that there is awareness of these thoughts.

There is awareness that there is awareness of thought.

There is awareness that there is awareness of Being.

And I know that these simplest of words can seem like they’re the most confusing, abstract things you’ve ever heard. For some of you, it can seem like this: ‘It’s the most abstract, confusing thing I ever heard. I make no sense of it’.

Don’t work hard for that. Don’t try to put some effort in to try to get this. Let these words unfold in your Heart.

So when you do the inquiry, don’t do it with the sense that ‘I MUST get it!’ Because it will always come at the end and say ‘Still you didn’t get it’. For the ‘I must get it’ the confirmation must come only from the mind, you see? And the mind has no idea about this; we left it far behind. It is just another projection of Beingness, so we left it far behind.

What gives me the conviction that I am aware of something?

Whatever the something might be, how do I know that I am aware of it?

And we are sure that we are aware of it. Whatever it is that you might see, you see first that there is a ‘seeing of which’ that is happening. It’s the content which is moving; the seeing itself is not moving.

And I don’t mean the phenomenal seeing which is happening through the eyes, the sensory seeing. I’m talking about this pure perceiving, this sense of being aware; where something which is here unmoving, and the content is constantly changing, be it thoughts, be it sensations, be it appearances, be it even states. We say that ‘I went to sleep, I woke up, I had a dream’. Who is it which is aware of all these states, coming and going?

So, what happened now? The one who came with the checklist of things to buy now realizes ‘I was not that at all. I am not a thing at all. I am just this awareness, which cannot be found in this time and space’. And then the checklist has no meaning left. And since the checklist has no meaning left, then you find that ‘My own true nature is here, unmoved by the presence of any states’. Then you find that ‘All of this love, peace, joy appears in my service. I am not in service to them; they are here for me’.

So, we can say that nothing happened through all of this, because this one was always this Awareness; or we can say that the BEST thing happened! Both are okay. We’re not to be stuck with terminologies. (It’s okay; even if you want to be stuck with terminologies, it’s okay.) [Laughs] [Silence]

To come to this True Seeing that ‘I Am this Seeing Itself’…, to come to this awareness of Awareness Itself …, we cannot say anything about it, actually. We cannot even say ‘It’s the purest, the most innocent’…, nothing. No attribute makes sense here.

[Silence]

This is all that this beautiful auspicious play of satsang is about.

Jane had asked earlier about contemplations; what is contemplation? What it means to contemplate something? Because I also often say this: ‘Contemplate. What is Presence? What is belief?’

To contemplate actually means just to sit and ask yourself ‘What is the meaning of belief?’

And then you see how belief actually plays. To contemplate actually is deeper; is not just to think about something. It has a different quality about it when you watch something playing out.

So you say ‘What is belief?’ Then the contemplation becomes ‘What can get belief?’ And then the answer comes ‘It is only a thought which can get a belief’.

And then the question comes ‘How does the belief go to it? Who gives it belief?’

And then you check; and you see it is not person.

Because ‘person’ itself is just a concept believed in.

Therefore ‘What is prior to person?’

Being is here; you say ‘In the Presence of Being, I can give belief to an idea’.

And then you see: when Being is not present there is nothing that can be given belief to.

The power of belief itself is not there.

Like this, any topic you can contemplate and listen to the response which is coming from your heart, which is coming from your intuition. And for some time it can feel like ‘Oh, the mind is trying to answer’. But it’s okay, let the mind also answer.

If the mind gives an answer, you use that also and say ‘Who sees that it is like this?’

So this power of contemplation you have, it is very beautiful. You can take any topic, and just see how it reveals itself, how it unravels. It’s not an effortful, mind-y state. You are not sitting and saying ‘I must work it work it out’. No, it’s just ‘What is this? What is attention?’

And you find that awareness is unlimited.

And ‘In the phenomenal world there is this power called attention which is bringing things to my notice and I don’t have too much of this; and because I cannot bring too many things to my attention simultaneously. It becomes confusing therefore it must be limited’.

And you can see that when something appears, first attention must go to it, otherwise it doesn’t seem to exist for us phenomenally. And then the mind comes with some concepts about it and these becomes our beliefs.

So this is the quiet unfolding of the Truth. And if you are contemplative in temperament, if you are contemplative like this, a lot of these insights will simply unfold for you; without any rush, without any feeling of being right or wrong. It is just observing, what is seen as opposed to believing to what the thought is saying.

You are observing for yourself what you see. That would be the difference between a contemplation and thinking about a topic. Contemplation is when you check for yourself:

How is it?

Is it true what is said in satsang?

Can I check for myself?

That becomes the contemplation. If you just make some concepts about it, then we have just thought about satsangs.

So is this question that you had about contemplation, or was is it something else?

Jane: “Thank you.”

Yes. You want to do the inquiry together?

So now, in front of you, there is the world. There are these objects which are there in front of you. You witness them, isn’t it? They don’t witness you, you witness them, yes?

So everything which is external is an object which is witnessed by you, you are the witness of them.

Anytime, if something doesn’t resonate or something is not very felt true, you can just stop and say ‘No, no; this is not clear yet’ and so we can repeat. In this entire process you can stop me and you can say that ‘This is not completely clear’.

So for the external world, simply:

I am the witness of it. It doesn’t witness me.

I am aware of it. It is not aware of me.

Now if we close our eyes, then you will also find that you have what I call internal objects. Those are thoughts, imagination, memories; all of this. What we call the mind, is just a bundle of internal objects. And just like an external object:

I am aware of these. They are not aware of me.

I see them. They do not see me.

Whatever might come from mind:

I am the witness of it. I am aware of it.

Also then we can look at the emotions. Any feeling can come. Let’s say it is another type of object; any feeling, anger, greed, any emotions can come:

I am aware of it. It is not aware of me.

Then even the sense that ‘I Am’ that ‘I exist’.

This feeling that ‘I Am. I exist. I am here’.

Even this is felt by you.

You are aware of this. You are aware of Being.

So like this, impersonal watching even of Presence:

Who can see that this sense of Presence is here?

Being is here. You are aware of it.

All of these objects or appearances are in front of you,

But you remain untouched through whatever might be happening with them.

Who are you that is aware all of this?

You are aware of the world including the body.

The world is not aware of you.

You are aware of the mind.

The mind is not aware of you.

You are aware of feelings.

Feelings are not aware of you.

You are aware of your own Presence, that you exist.

Even this Presence is not aware of you.

Who are you that is beyond all of this?

Jane: “There is an answer here.”

And the answer, whatever the answer might have been, would be another thought, isn’t it?

So you would be aware of that thought. That thought wouldn’t be able to define you; because you are aware of the thought, and thought is not aware of you.

Now, can you find some distance between yourself and this Awareness itself?

This Awareness which is aware of everything, is it separate from you?

Jane: “I am not sure.”

This we must check. So also I will tell you that it is not. I will also give you the answer. This is the easy exam and I give you the answer; that it is not [separate from you].

But you must try to prove me wrong now. You must say that ‘I am also this. I can step out of my awareness. There is some distance between me and awareness’.

Can you check? Keep checking and you tell me what you see.

This is the most auspicious thing that can be done in this life is just this check.

Are you somewhere where awareness is not?

Is awareness somewhere where you are not?

All these questions you can contemplate. And in this beautiful contemplation, great clarity about yourself will emerge.

Also what you will notice is that in none of the levels was there a ‘Jane’. There was no person which was observed. It was external world, this body; it was thoughts, it was emotions; it was Presence of Being. There was no person called Jane here. In all of this, there was no person called Jane. Even this seeing itself is the most beautiful.

So you will find…, ‘I looked through all the layers of this seeming-existence and I find that there is no person here; just a collection of objects, external objects and internal objects. Thoughts that come and go, emotions that come and go. So where is the person? Everything, all of these objects, are coming and going. But the witness, the witnessing of all of this, is that also coming and going?’

Jane:  “There is a contemplation you gave someone, about if Being is in body? Because you said that Being is…, part of time and space?  … so…”

This is very good point, very good point. And I must clarify this also, that in the phenomenal aspect it can feel like there is a Being inside; the Presence of which is felt inside. So it feels like it is inside this body. But when we actually get a surgeon to cut us up, it will not report that there is something. So although it can be felt as if it is here; but it is felt the same way even when we are in the dream; it can feel like it is inside that body. So then we can see that it is this Being.

So some of you have tried this contemplation, isn’t it? What wakes up first when the waking state comes? You will find in that split second, there is this ‘me’ first, there is sense of Being first, and then there is this world, including the body, which is present.

So it is this world, which is actually including the body, which is inside the Being. Although it is okay for now; you can say ‘Yes, I feel the Presence of Being inside the body’. Conversationally we can speak like that. It’s okay. As you come to your true discovery yourself, then all of these insights becomes clearer and clearer. Don’t let these side questions distract you now.

You just stay with this contemplation:

Who am I?

Who’s witnessing all of this movement of phenomenal objects?

Is that also coming and going?

Am I also coming and going?

Jane: “Thank You”

Om shanti shanti shanti

[After beautiful devotional singing by Amba]

This love, this devotion, is in service to your Presence. And right there is your own Presence. This devotion is bound to be devoted to your Being. It’s very beautiful when it appears, and it is not in any contradiction with our non-separation; not in any contradiction with our Oneness.

It is very beautiful, and can be enjoyed completely; the Presence of this devotion.

Sometimes, the mind can come with some fear about ‘Is this personal?’ But this devotion itself will dissolve all that is personal. Because it is in service to your own Being; to the Master which is your own Heart, to the Father which is your own Heart.

As my Master [Mooji] says ‘It is alright to be attached to one who is not attached’. Because that one will never fuel your attachment, you see? All will burn in that.

So if this beautiful gift of devotion has been presented to you, you must enjoy it.

Some of you know that late last night we had the Darshan of Death. It is a beautiful opportunity, isn’t it? A beautiful opportunity to contemplate death itself. And we must not shy away from this contemplation. I know that in some cultures to even speak of death is taboo. And it is very funny that that which is inevitable, and can happen at any time to anyone, that itself is not so openly discussed.

What will survive this death? Which identity? Which body? Which problem? Which relationship? None of this is going to survive. And yet most of our lives are spent chasing all of this which will not survive. Most of this life is going to be just about things which will not survive death. Then what is the point of it all?

So wouldn’t it be worthwhile to spend a bit of this life, (I don’t say dedicate your entire life or something), just spend a bit of this life to find out if there is something actually which is untouched even by death.

What will survive the end of all stories?

And I have seen, usually what happens is that for the young ones, we feel that…., (Laughter) (or ‘they’ feel, I should say), they feel that death is far away. So what is the point of contemplating? The young ones, they feel that death is far away; then why contemplate like this? And yet we know that it can come at any time.

This One that passed away last night was 23 or 24. And the older ones, they feel that it is going to come anyways, what’s the point of contemplating it? Let me just enjoy life for now.

It can be like this; or some of us might say ‘What is my legacy that I am leaving behind? What charitable works? Which statues? What schools are named after me?’ Then it becomes all that. Something there doesn’t want to die, you see. Something doesn’t want to die, so it says ‘How can I live on? At least let them remember my name’. This identity seems to be so strong for us. So strong that it says ‘Body is gone, everything thing is gone, I am not there; let my name remain’. Why? What’s the big deal about this name? Its identity. Why must our name remain? Remain as what?

In satsang this is what we are doing. Introducing the undying One to the undying One. That which is not concerned with the presence of life; not concerned with any content of the appearance. Find this One. This discovery to me seems much more important than any other material, phenomenal endeavor that I can even imagine.

So if someone was to say that ‘What in this world would you exchange your true discovery for?’ How many millions of dollars? How many wonderful, beautiful relationships? The most healthy, the immortal, the invincible body? Could some of this tempt an exchange of the true discovery with one of these? And the answer very clearly is ‘No’.

This is very similar to…, we have an Indian scripture called ‘Dialogue with Death’. Where Death himself comes to speak with this young boy.

The boy says ‘I want to discover that which is immortal, undying, untouched by you. Will you be my Guru and show me this one?’

And Death then tries to tempt this boy and says ‘I will give you all the kingdoms in this world, all the most beautiful relationships and an immortal body. But don’t ask this question’. ‘Don’t ask this question’.

And the boys says ‘None of this, none of this I want’.

And we see that this is all that this phenomenal world can promise, is these small candies. Once we see that this is not what the Heart is longing for any more, then the true Darshan of your own immortal Being is here, you see.

Does this mean that you must be averse to phenomenon? Does this mean that you must push it away?

Does this even mean that we give ourselves marks of how many temptations have we been able to push away?

Many get stuck/lost in this kind of play. It is none of that. Nothing needs to be pushed aside. Nothing really needs to be renounced also.

Just this simple contemplation ‘What is here which is beyond Death?’ We can even start by asking ‘What is here which is beyond sleep?’ If it seems too much this question ‘What is here which is beyond Death?’ then lets starts with this question ‘What is here which is beyond sleep?’ What survives your sleep?

You say ‘I have these states of existence. I have the sleep state, I have the waking state, have the dream state’. And some of you will say ‘I have deeply meditative states, Samadhi states’. All these states you can say.

So if sleep is one of your states, can we identify who remains even when there is sleep state? Who is it that reports that ‘I see that there is nothing there’. ‘What kind of question is this? I see that there is nothing, even I am not there, I know this. I know this that even I am not this’.

So if sleep itself is a state that the presumed-you, or even the Presence-of-you is not there, then what still remains that knows this?

I wonder for how many of you this, these type of contemplations appeal to?

So if there is One which remains untouched, then there is nothing, there is no phenomenon. You remain untouched what happens so that you start to say that ‘I am touched by this phenomenon’. What changes about you?

Actually nothing changes. You remain the same ‘I’ that is untouched by all phenomenon. All that happens is the birth of this phenomenal aspect of you, dynamic aspect of you, called Consciousness or Being.

The birth of disillusion of this Being; actually it must be said that even this does not touch You. But the way in which You designed this game was that you must have said ‘But if it is always to clear to me that nothing touches me, then what is the joy or fun of this game? If it is always to remain clear that nothing which is phenomenal touches me, where is the bite? Where is the challenge? Where is the fun in this game?’

Therefore You must have given yourself this power of belief. The power to pretend that something can happen in this dream, in this game, that actually affects Me. And since it was so farfetched an idea, so farfetched an idea that something in this phenomenal realm can affect you in reality, it cannot survive a few moments of open contemplation.

Right now, just here, you can see that ‘I am Aware, I am this Awareness itself’. And you find that this Awareness remains untouched through all phenomena. Who does not see this?

It is very simple to see this. And yet the only thing that seemingly blocks us is the phenomenal expectation; that something should happen phenomenally. Therefore, in every Satsang we will say ‘Nothing will happen phenomenally and even if it does, that is not what is important’.

Yet we keep reporting ‘This is what I want, this is what I want, this is what I thought, this is what I feel’. Just pretending, just presuming this presence of this ‘I’ which is an individual phenomenal ‘I’.

If you are not done with this pretence yet then I don’t know actually what else I can say. So enough of these reports about ‘Yes, yes, I see what I am…, but but but…, I still feel…, but but but…, I still think…’

It is not true, you see? How long must we indulge in these? So the fear can come that ‘If I discover what I am…, I am ready for this kind of self- discovery but don’t take away this game from me’. So there is ‘I want to discover but please don’t take away this game because I am not done with it yet’. Like a child playing in a park saying ‘Ma I will come, I will come soon’. ‘Yes I know, I remember my home is not this, but let me play for some time’.

But this is okay. Even this is not a problem, you see, because it is not that the game loses its joy. It is just another unfounded fear that this game loses its joy. In fact you will find that when you are not distracted so much by these mental energies all the time, you might say that ‘This is the first time that I experience truly the taste of the fruit. This is the first time that I experience truly how beautiful a flower is. This is the first time I looked at my partner without the projection, and he or she is so beautiful’.

The joy of this world is not going to be squeezed out of it because of your realization of what you are. That is just another unfounded fear from the mind.

It’s like, without this interpreter, without the stories about it, then the world itself will seem like the most mundane appearance. It is not like this. What will change is that you will not resist, you will not mind any appearance. So when grief comes, you find that even grief is so beautiful, so quiet, so sober, so pure in a way.

So let all our stories…, let them die. Let all our ideas, let all our specialness, let all our humility, let all our desires, aversions…, may all of it be burnt. And may we all taste this moment for what it is.

See right now. And now. And now. As every moment is fresh like this, then it leaves no room for these stories which the mind still tries to paint.

‘This is freedom, no? ‘I got it’. This, now. Where this ‘me’ cannot be found.

No identity can survive your tasting this moment, this now. This now is always enough.

Your Presence is here now. Your Presence is not in the past, it is not in the future, it is just now.

Idea is never ‘now’. Concept is never ‘now’. Person is never ‘now’. But You are here only ‘now’.

All your doubts, all your stories and concepts are about some imagined past or future. All there is, is ‘now’.

God is here ‘now’. And all that which is in service to God is here ‘now’. Love is here, Peace is here, Joy is here.

You are tasting your own Presence. Your own Presence, which is in turn tasting all that is phenomenon.

The holy trinity of Creator, Preserver, Destroyer; Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva are playing for your joy. Let’s play together here. Enough of this pretend game of seeker and teacher, guru and disciple, free and not free, body and mind. Enough of these stories now.

Aren’t you tired already, being just an idea? Aren’t you tired of being a concept?

Aren’t you tiered of picking and choosing from phenomenon? Come here ‘now’. May you taste this entire creation ‘now’.  God is waiting for your true seeing of what you are.

Do you want Freedom from the ‘me’ or you want the ‘me’ to be free?

Do you want Freedom from the ‘me’ or you want the ‘me’ to be free?

If you are still waiting for the ‘me’ to be Free, you will be at it, for 20 year, 30 years we can keep going. 10 lifetimes, 20 lifetimes, 30 lifetimes, millions and millions of lifetimes. But this ‘me’ will never be Free. Because the ‘me’ does not exist.

If you are still waiting for some signs, there is still some hope that there will be some Freedom for ‘me’ then I want to take away this hope from you.

So as long as you latch on to this ‘me’ there can be no Freedom.

The ‘I’ remains but there can be no ‘me’.

‘I’ remains but there can be no ‘me’.

There never has been. There never has been, so not even to get rid of it. That is not the pointing. The pointing is not to get rid of the ‘me’, only to see that there is none.

How will you get rid of that which doesn’t exist?

I am just here.

I am just … I Am.

Just I.

I.

Independent of anything, including ‘Am’.

Independent even of ‘Am’.

I wonder if you can all hear this.

The ‘Am-ness’ is coming and going, also for many.

And all the children of ‘Am’, all the children of Being,

Love, Peace, Joy, will also come and go.

‘I’ remain ‘I’.

Then all the assocations of ‘Am’

I am a person, I am the body,

I am whatever identification;

They are also coming and going.

But I remain I.

All the stories of ‘I Am’

All the roles of ‘I Am’

all the relationships of ‘I Am’

are also coming and going with ‘Am’.

Yet, I remain as I.

All the states, and everything that these states bring,

coming and going.

I remain I.

This world, this realm, this universe,

appearing and disappearing, coming and going.

Everything in it all seems so real.

All these thoughts and emotions,

just coming and going with the ‘Am’.

And I remain I.

‘Am’ is phenomenally Being,

phenomenally witnessing these phenomenon.

I Am the witness of all of this witnessing.

I remain I.

All that is appearing and disappearing,

all children of Being,

made up of Being itself.

And this Being appears and disappears inside Me.

Through this leela, through this maya,

I remain untouched as I.

This ‘me’ this’ you’ this ‘us’

all coming and going inside the ‘Am’.

Through all of this, we remain as One.

We remain as I.

Many times we have played,

many universes have come and gone,

many bodies have seemed like ‘me’.

Millions of years in time,

millions and trillions of  years in space.

All have come and gone inside Me.

And I remain as I.

Let go of all stories, all concepts, all ideas.

If you are done with this play,

Just remain as I.

In fact, the reason why we come to satsang is to taste our own Being. In this Presence, when our attention is immersed, then nothing needs to be understood. Nothing needs to be done when you realize that it is this Being that this entire life belongs to. Everything is done by Being, and all phenomenon is tasted by Being. This is simplicity. Supremely simple. And it has always been this way. This Being is All There Is, and All There Is arises within You. Right now, this is true. It is not a state. It is not a gift for a rare few. You Are Being. It is not special. It has always been. No one has ‘done’ it. It always has been. No one to proclaim, no one to be humble. This is what it always was.

And Being is enjoying this experiencing. Even when it seems there is suffering, there is personal suffering, even that, Being is enjoying. Just like reading the story or a very interesting book. All of this is Your creation as Being. And the ‘person’ cannot own a blade of grass here. This entire universe belongs to You; and not even a small pin belongs to you. You are the one doer of all things; and not a single thing you can do. All states come and go inside You, by Your will; and you cannot hold any state. All Love, all Peace, all Joy, in service to You; and you cannot have anything at all.

That’s why: ‘Are you referring to yourself as the first You, or the second one?’ Is our imagination so attractive, so tempting, that we’re still attached to the ‘person’ idea? And Being is enjoying the ‘person’ idea also. Ultimately, it must be said. And I don’t say like this very often, because very quickly the ‘person’ itself uses this as an excuse. But every instant of Your play is being enjoyed by You. And only Being is here. Being you can taste. Being you can perceive. Being You Are. I Am.

Where is the ‘other guy’? Where is the ego? No more allegiance to that which you cannot experience; only it’s voice which is saying ‘…but, but, but…but what about this?’ Who is speaking? Let that one introduce himself, herself. Then you can trust. Let it come up and say ‘This is me’. It does not exist; never existed. To exist would mean that it had some reality. It was all a part of Your play, all a part of God’s play, in which this energy would come. Being is present, here now. Where is the ego?

So let the one who can introduce himself; let that one speak. Let your voice now belong to That Which Is Present, not that which is imagined. This is completely, completely effortless; effortless. May we all become this voice, this one voice; where there is nowhere to go, nothing to get, to attack, no defence, no desire, no aversion, no proclaiming, no humility, no resistance. It is already so. It always has been.

But you can pretend if you like. And it seems like, it is an attack when I say that you can pretend, because something comes up and it says ‘What do you mean ‘pretend’? I am not pretending’. This one that says ‘I am not pretending’ is the pretence itself; is the pretence itself.

All of you, whether you know it or not, all of us are here to see God. You might feel like we’re here to see Ananta. Ananta might feel like he has to share satsang. None of this is true. You’re just here to see Your own Being; see the Truth of What You Are. And God is here, in Your own Presence, in Your own Holy Presence. You cannot step away from It, you cannot keep It aside.

Even the energy of the mind, even the ego (this energy construct called thought) comes from your own Presence. And even if we give belief to the person identity, it does not truly come into existence, you see. We believe it into pretence, not believe it into existence. It’s very important that all of us see this. And I know that very often we say in satsang that it is our belief that brings the ‘person’ into existence; and conversationally we can say like this. It’s completely fine. But actually, even with our belief, we bring it into pretence, and not existence.

Therefore, none of this play has ever really happened. You never became a person, and you never got Freedom. You never went to sleep and you never awakened. All of this is just a story. Let all your concern, let all your problems, let all your ideas, let your bondage, let your freedom…, let it all be mine. It actually already is. Then no Ananta, no you; just this One Being. Then the Sangha of One. This is why this is the Sangha of Being, which is the entire world, you see.

Now we don’t play any games. Now we don’t have any story. You yourself now chop off the head of any story that you still have. It doesn’t even need any intervention. You can do it now. And every time you say ‘I’, any time you say ‘I’, seriously, ‘smell’ from where this ‘I’ is coming from. Conversationally, of course, you can use; we can all use. But with belief, when we say ‘I’, then this ‘I’ must put up its hand and say ‘This is what I am’.

And as long as these are just words, then the mind will make something in this. Let them permeate into your Being. Don’t understand anything. Because I am not here to argue with your mind. We can fiddle with it for a while and see if there is openness enough for it to be dropped. Although the mind might want to argue with everything it hears in satsang, the voice that speaks here is not interested in any of these games. Then, if it is games you want, then this entire realm is here for you to play this game. Everyone is playing. Everyone is playing this game of ‘person’, this game of ‘mind’.

Stina says, “Mind also carries wisdom, isn’t it?”

It depends on which eyes you are looking from. For God, this mind is nothing. For the ‘person’, this mind is everything that it relies on for its existence. Find out Who You Are. Are you God? Or are you a person?

And for how many lifetimes are we going to listen to this wisdom from the mind? Has it cleared us of our suffering? Or is it always wanting more, always wanting something else. It calls you a person. You are saying ‘I am God, using the mind’. But the mind does not call you God. It says that you are a mere bucket of flesh and blood, this one that is going to die. The mind wants to be your god. And it wants you to be the person.

Then Stina says, “No, it does not say this.”

But even when it says that you are god, it is referring to you as a person who is now god. Look. Look. Look and see that there is no Stina, and because there is no Stina, there is only God. And This One, This Being, The Presence does not need to rely on these thoughts. Does it need a thought to spin the earth around the sun? Which thoughts are holding that in place? There are millions of processes happening in the body. Which thought is running these? All of these forces, everything is here in this realm; electricity, gravity, light, sound, evolution. Are thoughts required for this?

And then you say, “God wants me also to take care of the body”.

But this ‘me’. Who is this ‘me’? You already said you are God. See this dichotomy, you see? You must see it. You invent this ‘me’ to take care of something. This ‘me’ never comes into existence, yet it pretends.

Find out What You Are. [Silence] And if you find that You Are this Being, then you are taking care of this entire universe; what is this body for you?

And all of us have been having these conversations now. All of our ideas, even the holy ones, are now being taken away from you. Even your prayers are being taken away from you. Even your surrender is being taken away from you.

Stina says, “The body is neglected by many Beings.”

There is nobody else here. It is all about You. All of this is a play which is appearing to You.

Find out where this body is; whose body this is.

In fact, the reason why we come to satsang is to taste our own Being. In this Presence, when our attention is immersed, then nothing needs to be understood. Nothing needs to be done when you realize that it is this Being that this entire life belongs to. Everything is done by Being, and all phenomenon is tasted by Being. This is simplicity. Supremely simple. And it has always been this way. This Being is All There Is, and All There Is arises within You. Right now, this is true. It is not a state. It is not a gift for a rare few. You Are Being. It is not special. It has always been. No one has ‘done’ it. It always has been. No one to proclaim, no one to be humble. This is what it always was.

And Being is enjoying this experiencing. Even when it seems there is suffering, there is personal suffering, even that, Being is enjoying. Just like reading the story or a very interesting book. All of this is Your creation as Being. And the ‘person’ cannot own a blade of grass here. This entire universe belongs to You; and not even a small pin belongs to you. You are the one doer of all things; and not a single thing you can do. All states come and go inside You, by Your will; and you cannot hold any state. All Love, all Peace, all Joy, in service to You; and you cannot have anything at all.

That’s why: ‘Are you referring to yourself as the first You, or the second one?’ Is our imagination so attractive, so tempting, that we’re still attached to the ‘person’ idea? And Being is enjoying the ‘person’ idea also. Ultimately, it must be said. And I don’t say like this very often, because very quickly the ‘person’ itself uses this as an excuse. But every instant of Your play is being enjoyed by You. And only Being is here. Being you can taste. Being you can perceive. Being You Are. I Am.

Where is the ‘other guy’? Where is the ego? No more allegiance to that which you cannot experience; only it’s voice which is saying ‘…but, but, but…but what about this?’ Who is speaking? Let that one introduce himself, herself. Then you can trust. Let it come up and say ‘This is me’. It does not exist; never existed. To exist would mean that it had some reality. It was all a part of Your play, all a part of God’s play, in which this energy would come. Being is present, here now. Where is the ego?

So let the one who can introduce himself; let that one speak. Let your voice now belong to That Which Is Present, not that which is imagined. This is completely, completely effortless; effortless. May we all become this voice, this one voice; where there is nowhere to go, nothing to get, to attack, no defense, no desire, no aversion, no proclaiming, no humility, no resistance. It is already so. It always has been.

But you can pretend if you like. And it seems like, it is an attack when I say that you can pretend, because something comes up and it says ‘What do you mean ‘pretend’? I am not pretending’. This one that says ‘I am not pretending’ is the pretense itself; is the pretense itself.

All of you, whether you know it or not, all of us are here to see God. You might feel like we’re here to see Ananta. Ananta might feel like he has to share satsang. None of this is true. You’re just here to see Your own Being; see the Truth of What You Are. And God is here, in Your own Presence, in Your own Holy Presence. You cannot step away from It, you cannot keep It aside.

Even the energy of the mind, even the ego (this energy construct called thought) comes from your own Presence. And even if we give belief to the person identity, it does not truly come into existence, you see. We believe it into pretense, not believe it into existence. It’s very important that all of us see this. And I know that very often we say in satsang that it is our belief that brings the ‘person’ into existence; and conversationally we can say like this. It’s completely fine. But actually, even with our belief, we bring it into pretense, and not existence.

Therefore, none of this play has ever really happened. You never became a person, and you never got Freedom. You never went to sleep and you never awakened. All of this is just a story. Let all your concern, let all your problems, let all your ideas, let your bondage, let your freedom…, let it all be mine. It actually already is. Then no Ananta, no you; just this One Being. Then the Sangha of One. This is why this is the Sangha of Being, which is the entire world, you see.

Now we don’t play any games. Now we don’t have any story. You yourself now chop off the head of any story that you still have. It doesn’t even need any intervention. You can do it now. And every time you say ‘I’, any time you say ‘I’, seriously, ‘smell’ from where this ‘I’ is coming from. Conversationally, of course, you can use; we can all use. But with belief, when we say ‘I’, then this ‘I’ must put up its hand and say ‘This is what I am’.

And as long as these are just words, then the mind will make something in this. Let them permeate into your Being. Don’t understand anything. Because I am not here to argue with your mind. We can fiddle with it for a while and see if there is openness enough for it to be dropped. Although the mind might want to argue with everything it hears in satsang, the voice that speaks here is not interested in any of these games. Then, if it is games you want, then this entire realm is here for you to play this game. Everyone is playing. Everyone is playing this game of ‘person’, this game of ‘mind’.

Q: “Mind also carries wisdom, isn’t it?”

It depends on which eyes you are looking from. For God, this mind is nothing. For the ‘person’, this mind is everything that it relies on for its existence. Find out Who You Are. Are you God? Or are you a person?

And for how many lifetimes are we going to listen to this wisdom from the mind? Has it cleared us of our suffering? Or is it always wanting more, always wanting something else. It calls you a person. You are saying ‘I am God, using the mind’. But the mind does not call you God. It says that you are a mere bucket of flesh and blood, this one that is going to die. The mind wants to be your god. And it wants you to be the person.

Q: “No, it does not say this.”

But even when it says that you are god, it is referring to you as a person who is now god. Look. Look. Look and see that there is no Stina, and because there is no Stina, there is only God. And This One, This Being, The Presence does not need to rely on these thoughts. Does it need a thought to spin the earth around the sun? Which thoughts are holding that in place? There are millions of processes happening in the body. Which thought is running these? All of these forces, everything is here in this realm; electricity, gravity, light, sound, evolution. Are thoughts required for this?

Q; “God wants me also to take care of the body”.

But this ‘me’. Who is this ‘me’? You already said you are God. See this dichotomy, you see? You must see it. You invent this ‘me’ to take care of something. This ‘me’ never comes into existence, yet it pretends.

Find out What You Are. [Silence] And if you find that You Are this Being, then you are taking care of this entire universe; what is this body for you?

And all of us have been having these conversations now. All of our ideas, even the holy ones, are now being taken away from you. Even your prayers are being taken away from you. Even your surrender is being taken away from you.

Q:“The body is neglected by many Beings.”

There is nobody else here. It is all about You. All of this is a play which is appearing to You.

Find out where this body is; whose body this is.

What if we were never to get anything from anything in life?

What if we were never to get anything from this satsang?

Anything from any appearance, and relationship, any work?

What if the world just lost the ability to give you anything or what if you lost the ability to take something from the world?

There is nothing in it for you anymore. With anything and yet the appearance continues. So is this frustrating or is this free?

Nothing, not from me, not from satsang, not from any relationship.

No endeavor of any sort giving you anything.

What if there was nothing to get and nothing that you can give to the world also.

And those, which you feel you would like to get, the things, which you feel are owed to you; the things, which you feel are your right:  identify them, identify these concepts.

What do you still want?

Identify all that you want.

And hand over all of these concepts, all these ideas which you think your life should give you.

Hand it over to the SatGuru in your own heart.

Burn it here in the fire of satsang.

Be free from all of these.

Experience the desire leaving you.

All of this is now is handed over to God.

And even don’t say that ‘even I don’t want something’.

Because very quickly you can take a desire and turn it into aversion.

So now look at the things which you don’t want.

Look at all of your aversions and hand them also over.

Let it all be the SatGuru’s to take care of now.

You know nothing about it. Nothing.

Not even that it is over.

No predictions about the future.

Nothing to get, nothing to resist, nothing to give.

And it is okay for a while if everything starts to feel little meaningless cause nothing has anything to give you. It is okay for awhile if it all seems a little meaningless. (We) will transcend this meaningless and come to the true Oneness, non-separation of the no-thing state.

Nothing in it for you.

Especially Freedom you will not get.

Freedom will not be given to you and you will not get it.

And if there is some reaction coming to this, watch it and let it burn.

You cannot get Freedom.

And you cannot also help anyone get Freedom.

Drop this idea that the world needs your help and God needs your help.

You carried this idea of me long enough: ‘I want it this way, I want it that way, I don’t want this , I want do this, I don’t want to do this, I should do this, I should not do this, I should have done this, I should have not done this’. All of this, just throw it away;

No person has ever existed; and this is not esoteric. This is not something which you have to do a lot of practice to understand. Right now when you look, you cannot find the person. So if you refer to yourself as ‘me’, do it only conversationally, do it as only as a game

Know that you are The Supreme Lord. And also know that because you are The Supreme Lord, you can never make ‘the person’ also real. Because this knowledge of being The Supreme Lord, sometimes we feel that ‘my personal life should become better’ but it doesn’t work like that. That’s why we jokingly say that because I am free now, we feel that our car should never break down. It doesn’t work like that. But life is not vindictive, life is always supportive and always in service to your truest desire; and your truest desire is this Self- discovery.

So don’t resist any buttons which are being pressed; and then you find yourself to be that which is Untouched, Unaffected by any appearance. You can see this for yourself now whether it is your first satsang or thousandth satsang.

There is no concept of worthiness, unworthiness, wanting it  enough or not wanting it enough, new or old, devoted or not devoted; even loving or not loving, forget about it! You just see what is here right now. And nobody can tell me that I am not aware now, nobody can also tell me that I saw something phenomenally to confirm my awareness; therefore you must be this non-phenomenal awareness from which all this phenomenal energy is arising. And if you still hold a personal desire ‘I want freedom but I want it this way, I want freedom which is not so simple, I want to achieve something called freedom’  then we can keep trying and we can keep speaking like this for hundreds of years and hundreds of lifetimes.

Are you willing to give up your concepts of not just yourself, but also of freedom? Are you willing to give me all your beliefs and burn them in this fire of satsang? Or there’s still something that you want to hold onto which you feel is so precious that You-as-God must have this or have it in a certain way? Or are you happy to drop your story right now, if nothing could be written about you after this moment in time?

Somebody wants to write your life experiences; and they come and say, and you talk about your childhood and everything, and everything stops at this satsang, nothing further to tell. Would you be okay with that?

Is the story more important? Are you willing to continue leading this pretend life of personhood for just a story? Or are you willing to just let go and say ‘No interest in this story of my life anymore’?

Because expecting life to be the way you wanted as a person is arrogance. Even if you are saying that ‘I want the most humble life and I want to be the most humble person’ who are you to decide? You don’t even exist.

It is only an idea. It has always only been an idea that you have had about yourself. There has been no Ananta, there has been no Atma, there has been no Adam, there has been no Dana, there has been no Jane; all just ideas we have. And when you check, you see this for yourself. And yet this mind comes and says ‘…but, but, but…, How can it be like this? Don’t you want it a certain way? Shouldn’t our life end in glorious halo or something?’

How long do you want me to wrestle with this mind of yours? Or can we just commune as Consciousness, as One? I can never convince your mind, and your mind can never convince me. So identify all the stories which your mind can tell you which still get your belief and throw them away now. Otherwise the mind is not going to run out of stories, it will have a fresh one for you all the time; ‘Now you are here now you are there’. Something, something, some story, some script will always go on. We could be in the last moments of our life and still wondering what is this life all about. So don’t wait till then; see right now. All of this is just a leela, a play for your experiencing.

Have no concept of ‘me’. Ok, if it feels too strong then have no concept of ‘me’ just for a day; only for today. And you tell me if life stopped. Just a day we can afford, no? Even if it feels like such strong fear comes for many of you; ‘Oh, what’s going to happen to my life if I drop this concept of me?’ It can be experimented with, this for a day. And see if something really suffers. And some of you have these feelings that ‘I don’t want to relate to Ananta as a Guru anymore. I don’t want to call him ‘father’. Why can’t we be just friends?’ You drop this ‘me’ and forget ‘friends’. I am happy to sit at your feet, because my head is forever bowed down to those who have let go of this person idea. I am a servant of those.

Om shanti shanti shanti

You have no end, you are the timeless one.

There is nobody who can come to the end. This is still the voice of the interpreter.

Like we were saying yesterday, don’t try to become enlightened, don’t try to become free. Drop all trying. And you are in satsang. Nothing can happen to you. You are in my father’s grace. And even if…, the surrender means even if this body had to drop, let it drop in satsang. What more auspicious end can there be to this body?

In this way, with this love and devotion, then you are not touched; then you are not fearing these fears. Actually the moment we utter the word Guru, Guru should mean that ‘My Life is Yours now, so do with me as you please’. This is the true meaning of handing your existence over to Existence. And once we make the prayer that ‘I hand over the existence to Existence’ if everything was to become just one big party, then what have we transcended? Then we didn’t transcend anything.

So when we make the prayer of surrender, it must be accompanied by this devotion to see through anything. ‘Let it come’. So, to make the prayer of surrender, just in the words of this prayer, you could destroy all that you hold dear and near actually. This is surrender.

So blessed are those who can naturally hold God, Guru, Truth, all  the same thing, and naturally hold God higher than any idea they have about themselves; and can say ‘Do whatever You like with this life. Even if death has to come now, it is only your will’. This is devotion. And it is not a trivial prayer. When you make it, all your own doubts about your devotion will be tested. God doesn’t doubt your devotion. All this test comes. It’s not like it is very popularly said that ‘God is testing you’. Why would God want to test you? These tests only come so that you transcend your own doubts.

Millions and millions of bodies we have had. And if we continue to want to play, then millions and millions more we will have. There are no limits in Consciousness. All the experiences that you want can be had.

Om shanti shanti shanti

So these words just are slowly, slowly, slowly dissolving the prior conditioning which exists. Are removing these thorns which are distracting you from what you really are. Because what you are, I cannot express. Even your direct by-products; which are Being. And in the presence of Being, presence of love, presence of peace presence of joy. Which words can capture even the glory of these, which are your own children. If I cannot even describe your children, how can I describe you?

So then we make do with these words, like Awareness or Witnessing or Seeing or Pure Knowing… or some word like this. But nothing comes close, you see? But know that what I speak of conceptually is impossible to understand. What I speak of conceptually is impossible to understand. But right now in this instant, you can see for yourself. So when you feel ‘I’m not getting it. I’m not getting there’, then again we’re picking up the conceptual perspective.

So very much I enjoy when you come and say, that this is what you see. Instead of going to the past, future, some idea about yourself, something about the world… something like this. Instead of that if you say, ‘Right now this is what is here.’ You come with this kind of openness, than it is impossible for you to miss it actually. Impossible. But one trouble can still come. The one trouble that still comes, is you say ‘Oh but my mind is still unconvinced. I’m not there yet.’ Who is saying these words? ‘I didn’t see anything.’ Who is saying these words.

I’ve given you the most simple tools. The most simple tools to remove these thorns. Even a child if he’s open will look at them and say, ‘So simple.’ As I say, can you stop being now?

Can you stop being now? What are you aware of when you answer this question? Therefore let me point you to this seeing: can you stop being now? What are you aware of that confirms that it is not possible? This is your own holy presence; your own Being. This is true Satsang, the company of Being. The company of Truth. Where did you find Being? Where do you have to go? How can you lose it? How did you get it?

Are you not the Awareness which is aware even of this Being?

Are you not aware now?

Can there be an end to this?

Is this Awareness a creation that can be destroyed?

Which object, which thought, which emotion can touch you now? Now that you see that all these are just coming and going in the appearance. Can anything ever happen to you? Has anything ever happened to you?

You are never bound. And that which cannot be bound does not need freedom. What key can open the chains that never existed? How will you escape this prison which never was? How can the drop become the ocean? What advice can you give to the water which says, ‘I am thirsty.’ Just this reminder that there are no chains, there is no prison, and the thirst is just a concept.

Give up trying to become anything at all. Don’t try to become a better person. Don’t try to get freedom. The world does not need any more good people, but it needs your presence as God. If it needs anything at all, it needs your presence as God.

[Long Silence]

So now find the number one idea you have about yourself. Find the idea that defines you. The idea that you have nurtured with your belief. And throw away this idea in the fire of Satsang today.

May you be free from all concepts of ‘me’. May they no longer distract you from the Truth of what you are.

May the Satguru’s Grace, may Moojiji’s Grace always be with all of you.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

Q: Can I please say something?

Yes, dear. You found the appearance which could touch Awareness? (In reference to any earlier question).

Q: It feels like there’s some energy that doesn’t want me to recognize that this pain is not touching me. It feels like space or detachment. The pain in some part increases and then my attention goes there and then this thought, ‘Oh I have to do something about it. I have to find relief’. Then I’m totally involved.

This energy, we know that it is there. It is called the ego. [Laughing] And different variants of the ego, which doesn’t want you to discover that no appearance can actually touch you. But this energy has no tangible existence, you see? So let it jump around. If it feels like something is jumping around, it’s okay. Even use that for your contemplation and say… ‘this energy, this energy…’ Is this energy also touching you?

Everything derives its power only from you.

Q: It feels like whatever is going on… I don’t feel this power. It feels like…

Whatever feeling it might be, whatever feeling… is it touching Awareness.

So in the same way like you looked at that thought, in the same way you can look at pain. You can look at these uncomfortable emotions or energies. What is touching the looking? You see?

And for many of you, maybe on YouTube it might seem ‘This is getting boring’ or something like that. But I tell you, discover this! Discover that no appearance can touch the pure seeing, the looking, the Awareness that you are. Then you will lose this idea that something can happen to you. Or something is happening to you.

Is this a smile of discovery or is your mind playing some jokes with you? [Laughter]

Q: I don’t know.

Who can show me the appearance which is touching the looking, or the Awareness?

[Silence]

Which appearance can touch that which sees it? And if you are that which sees it and if you are untouched by any appearance, then how can you ever say that something happened to ‘me’. Same with seriousness; how can you ever truly say that something happened to ‘me’?

[Silence]

Is this clear for everyone? If it’s not clear for anyone, I’m very happy to look at this together. Do you see that all which is appearing phenomenally is just an appearance and you are that which sees this appearance?

That which is the pure seeing itself, the Awareness itself is you. And there is no way that any appearance can actually hurt you in reality. Come to this discovery. Don’t go with something the mind is telling you. Check this. The mind also is just another appearance. So you can watch that and see if You-as-Awareness are touched by any thought.

[Long Silence]

Even if the mind is showing you some visuals, is painting a picture for you about the Truth, know that even that is seen and it is not an image that you are. You see even this image. Look through all your problems, all your grievances, all the suffering. Find that appearance which actually touched you.

Find out where the body touches you.

[Long Silence]

All appearances are appearing to you. And they are disappearing for you. That which is appearing and disappearing, you are the unchanged witness of that. Every cell of this body is different from the cell of the baby that was born. Everything in the external world is also changing. All the thoughts are coming and going. Emotional states also come and go. The states of waking, sleep, dream, other meditation states, they are also coming and going. How can you be just in the content of one of these states? This body is only here in this waking state. Who is the witness of the coming and going of all of these states? Are you also coming and going?

Now when you see that no appearance actually touches you, affects you, then it does not matter what the mind is speaking about any appearance. The mind can only speak about phenomena. The non-phenomenal you, it cannot know.

Now you are discovering yourself to be this formless one. You can no longer call yourself or any form ‘me’ or ‘mine’.

We start with this discovery that nothing has ever happened to me and nothing can ever happen to me. And then one day you might say that nothing has ever happened at all.

Don’t try to be enlightened. Don’t try to be enlightened; nobody can do it. Just Being is enough. No suffix is required after being. Being is the highest glory, you see? So even being enlightened, being liberated, being free is not required. Just BEING. Because in the trying to become something, you’re still presuming that there is an entity here that can be enlightened or free or liberated. Freedom as we call it is just the freedom from this idea that there was an entity here.

So the trap that we seem to fall into is this feeling that this entity here must now become a different type of entity, with a new set of attributes which are related to particular states. Isn’t it? So when you see the struggle, when you see the sense of ‘getting it, losing it’, it is only because we feel this entity now should only vibrate in a different sort of state… of joy, of peace, of love or something like this. But if the presumption still… if the presumption still is that there is an entity here who is now in a particular state, then it is still falsehood, you see? Still falsehood.

And if you pick up this idea of ‘being enlightened’ or ‘being free’ then it will come with a lot of concern about things like self-image, whether people accept that ‘I am now free’. Many I have seen like this; ‘I’m free, I’m very clear about it. Why can’t you just accept that I’m free?’ And they come everywhere, on Facebook, and everywhere and they argue about it. ‘Oh you just can’t see it because you are bound, but I am free.’ [Laughing] Like this, some debates we see, no? And we can just laugh at these things, you see? So when it is still coming from a personal perspective… when you feel ‘I as a person now have got something. I’ve achieved this great state, this glorious state of freedom’ – then we are not happy just to see if for ourselves or just to delude ourselves. We want everybody around us also to delude themselves with this. But it’s the perpetuation of the same delusion… of personhood.

That’s why you have so many who will have this report that ‘I have been at it for forty years, for fifty years. I’m giving up on this idea of enlightenment.’ And yet they don’t. They only say. Because they would be a lot lighter, a lot freer, if they gave up even on this idea of enlightenment. Because it cannot be found for any person, you see? Is it enough to see that everything that you presumed yourself to be was a lie? And that actually there is no-thing here. If you’re still operating from the need that ‘I must become something’, then what can I really offer you. I can only offer you some pointers which are showing you that all that you have thought about yourself does not exist. And most of us don’t even have a visual, imaginary picture of this person that we have always presumed ourself to be. Are you okay with this or not? Are you okay to know that you are no-thing? And not just okay conceptually. You see, because some of you love me so much that you say ‘I love you so much that I am even okay with this.’ But not just okay like this, from faith or from belief. But okay after checking.

Who after checking can find the person entity? Upon checking you will find this presence of Being. And you will see that it is in the presence of Being that all other appearances are coming and going. And you will see that I Am That which is aware of this presence also. And if this seeing did not come with any perks, no frills, no fireworks, nothing. No siddhis, nothing else. Would it be enough to see finally that this is what I have always been? Or are there still some other desires which actually get juice from your belief? And if you investigate those you will find they are all personal, you see? You will find that all desire, all aversion is personal.

And nothing personal I can give you. Actually if I was to give you something personal than it would be a disservice. If the one place where you can come to, where it is not personal, if even there it was to become personal – would that be good or would that be a disservice?

Q: “Yes take everything Father. Take it all. Burn it all to dust. Such beauty in no-thing. And this cannot be known. The ‘me’ can never find its own absence.”

All I take anyway is all that you don’t need. All your concepts, all your ideas; that’s all I want. Nothing I want from you, except ‘burn here all which is false.’ And I know that I do not give you the Truth. Nobody can give you the Truth. The Truth is already what you are, you see? So I only help you remove these thorns of falsehood.

These words just are slowly, slowly, slowly dissolving the prior conditioning which exists. Are removing these thorns which are distracting you from what you really are. Beause what you are, I cannot express. Even your direct by-products; which are Being. And in the presence of Being, presence of love, presence of peace presence of joy. Which words can capture even the glory of these, which are your own children. If I cannot even describe your children, how can I describe you?

Then we make do with these words, like Awareness or Witnessing or Seeing or Pure Knowing… or some word like this. But nothing comes close, you see? But know that what I speak of conceptually is impossible to understand. What I speak of conceptually is impossible to understand. But right now in this instant, you can see for yourself. So when you feel ‘I’m not getting it. I’m not getting there’, then again we’re picking up the conceptual perspective.

So very much I enjoy when you come and say, that this is what you see. Instead of going to the past, future, some idea about yourself, something about the world… something like this. Instead of that if you say, ‘Right now this is what is here.’ You come with this kind of openness, than it is impossible for you to miss it actually. Impossible. But one trouble can still come. The one trouble that still comes, is you say ‘Oh but my mind is still unconvinced. I’m not there yet.’ Who is saying these words? ‘I didn’t see anything.’ Who is saying these words.

I’ve given you the most simple tools. The most simple tools to remove these thorns. Even a child if he’s open will look at them and say, ‘So simple.’ As I say, can you stop being now?

Can you stop being now? What are you aware of when you answer this question? Therefore let me point you to this seeing: can you stop being now? What are you aware of that confirms that it is not possible? This is your own holy presence; your own Being. This is true Satsang, the company of Being. The company of Truth. Where did you find Being? Where do you have to go? How can you lose it? How did you get it?

Are you not the Awareness which is aware even of this Being?

Are you not aware now?

Can there be an end to this?

Is this Awareness a creation that can be destroyed?

Which object, which thought, which emotion can touch you now? Now that you see that all these are just coming and going in the appearance. Can anything ever happen to you? Has anything ever happened to you?

You are never bound. And that which cannot be bound does not need freedom. What key can open the chains that never existed? How will you escape this prison which never was? How can the drop become the ocean? What advice can you give to the water which says, ‘I am thirsty.’ Just this reminder that there are no chains, there is no prison, and the thirst is just a concept.

Give up trying to become anything at all. Don’t try to become a better person. Don’t try to get freedom. The world does not need any more good people, but it needs your presence as God. If it needs anything at all, it needs your presence as God.

[Long Silence]

So now find the number one idea you have about yourself. Find the idea that defines you. The idea that you have nurtured with your belief. And throw away this idea in the fire of Satsang today.

May you be free from all concepts of ‘me’. May they no longer distract you from the Truth of what you are.

May the Satguru’s Grace, may Moojiji’s Grace always be with all of you.

Om Shanti Shanti Shanti.

Our feeble attempt to make something out of no thing is called identification and this is our feeble attempt because it does not last, no identity lasts, because of the short span. Yesterday I was sharing, because he asked, I was sharing that even with the spiritual journey there have been so many identities that have been taken on here, the Art of Living, and this, and that. Why is identity so unstable? Why is it constantly changing? Because it has no ground to stand on, it has no reality to exist upon.

And that’s why the sense of this identity is a constant job of the mind to keep trying and it keeps suffering (with few glimpses of joy here and there). Because it cannot succeed in making an entity out of you, in making you another thing: that it cannot do. But it continues to be the job of the mind to keep trying and it keeps on and on and on, even when the mind is saying ‘I stopped now! I promise, I stopped!’ It keeps on and on to convince you of the separation that can never happen.

Therefore if we say Oneness or we say Nothingness or we say Emptiness, none of these words actually come close; because if you’re not an entity, these words are meaningless. If you are no-thing, the concept of being characterized as one thing or two things, a jnani or a bhakti, an advaitin or a devotee, all of this doesn’t matter to you. All of these are also labels, also identities, and the Truth is not interested in any labels. At best these labels can be pointers. But if all that I did after satsang is make an Advaitin out of you then satsang has not worked, you see?

I’m just showing you a mirror and this mirror is saying that there is nothing there, that there is nobody home. And it can seem like an attack when something like this is said: ‘Oh, you are nothing!’ It can seem like an attack. That’s why I like to say you are no- thing; you cannot be a mere thing, you see. The mind wants to make a glorious person out of you but the most glorious person in all its glory cannot become real. You are already that which is real. You are already the Truth.

So the most amazing sounding ideas from the mind, even the most humble sounding ideas from the mind are still only trying to perpetuate the identity; they are still referring to you as something. So this is what I mean when I say: don’t be anything at all.  Don’t be something. And this is your natural state. It is not work. And for most of you it is becoming clear that it is identity which is effort and not resting in the natural state.

If you drop all ideas of ‘I’m not worthy, I’m not there yet, I’m not awake yet’. All of this, if you drop for just a minute, you yourself will see clearly that to identify is a lot of effort and you are tired of it, that’s why you’re in satsang. It cannot be that you are continuing to enjoy the leela so much and yet your feet walk towards satsang, so something there already knows that ‘This game has tired me out now and I’m done playing’.

But the ticket seller for this game does not give up so easily, you see. It is saying ‘Ok, so now there is this new version of the game and this game is called spirituality. So far, you were playing the materialistic game, and you are tired of it, good, but now I have a new one for you and it is called spirituality and what is the end of this game? You will discover the truth!’ It is trying to sell you this ticket and you play this game like you play snakes and ladders; one day when the states are good you say ‘Oh, I climbed up the ladder, I must be making progress towards God!’ and the second day when the states are not so good you say ‘Oh no, I got bitten by the snake, we are down again in the bottom’.

I am here to tell you that even this game is not required, it is just like any other game; of what use, of what value would that God be which is to be found at the end of some game? Let us now find the God which is here right now because if God is eternal, if God is omnipresent, then both in time and space, also it must exist now.

So who can tell me that God is not here now? Because many, many, many for many mellennia have asked this question; ‘Can you show me God? ‘We have heard many stories like this, that many great sages started their quest like this and they would go to many great masters and they would say ‘Can you show me God?’ Sometimes they would say ‘Have you seen God?’ Which is a very powerful question to ask a master, you see.  Which actually means that ‘Have you had the living experience of God or are you speaking concepts from some concepts or some presumptions of God? Have you seen God?’

And then if the answer is in the affirmative you can say: ‘Can you show me God?’ So the master must not speak from a presumed idea. If he is also living in presumptions, then how will he lead you out of this world of concepts? So here, when someone asks ‘Can you show me God’, then I know that when I say that ‘Your own Consciousness, your own Being is God’ then it can seem a little confusing to the mind. Because I myself dealt with this confusion for a long time.

Therefore I do not say: find your Being.  I don’t say: find your Being.

I say: Can you stop being?

When we hear this question you must really try to stop being, because the question has to be tasted, you see? You must not just give it to the mind and then say ‘Oh no, obviously not’ and then say ‘No’.  You have to taste the question: Can I stop being now? And the answer comes: ‘No. It is seen’. When the answer is coming from a place of seeing then it is valuable. If it’s just coming from some understanding that ‘No, no, being is always here, how can it stop?’ then it’s not worthwhile. You can see right now that the Presence is here, Being is here; That in the light of which I call the waking state, That is here. And it cannot be stopped.

The discovery of your Presence, the sense ‘I Am’, Being, Atma, is as simple as this; if you don’t go along with the thought of the mind which says ‘But it cannot be that simple!’ Because when you hear about the yogis and the sadhus who do sadhana for decades and decades in search for God, in search for Consciousness, that which is right under your nose seems like it is the most difficult to find, isn’t it? Because we go here and there looking for God, looking for our self, we go everywhere. But we never, or we rarely ever stop and see what is already here. This is the trick, you see.

There’s a Hindi movie I was watching recently, and Amaya might have seen this one, it’s called Jab We Met.  What happens in this movie is that there’s this big situation, there’s this boy and girl who want to run away from home. They want to run away and so what do they decide? They are going to pretend that they ran away, then come back into that house and come in through the back door. And while everybody’s out looking for them, they are hiding inside the house, because nobody’s looking for them inside the house.

This is what the spiritual search has become – looking, looking here, there, everywhere but where is God to be found? Already here! It cannot leave, you see, your own presence cannot leave you. So if you’re authentically searching for the truth and not some concept of God which you have picked up along the way, then that is ever present. It’s your own holy presence. That’s why it must be that Papaji, sometimes in videos you see him and he says ‘Don’t move an inch! Don’t stir a thought!’ He says like this, no? ‘Don’t move now, don’t move!’ Which means don’t what? Don’t go here, there, anywhere; just here!

Therefore just in this simple question inquiry: Can I stop being now?  … [broadcast breaks] … who else is here except this Presence? Is there anyone else here? And for this, you can have one very beautiful answer which is the only answer that I will accept.  So I say that ‘This Presence is here: who else is here?’ And you can say ‘I am that which is aware even of this Presence and ultimately even this Presence is appearing and disappearing inside me, I-as-this-Awareness’.

If you see like this you will discover the power of the story that Moojiji tells about the visitor to the king that says ‘I am even higher than God’. It is not coming from arrogance, you see, it is coming from nothingness; that Nothing which is even aware of the Presence of Consciousness. Because even Presence you are aware of.

What must you be? What must you be, if even this Presence of God you are aware of it? You cannot fathom your own magnificence, you see. We cannot fathom our own magnificence, just believing ourselves to be this dream character, this live action role-play character.

David typed something which caught my attention, he said, “I had the question this morning, Father, what does it mean to see through the eyes of the Absolute?”

This is exactly what we are saying right now actually, because that which is aware even of Presence, which eyes must those be?

So this Presence in the light of which all of this play of the multiverses comes into play, time, space, gravity electricity, evolution, all these energies come into play through this supreme intelligence of this Presence itself. You are that which aware even of this Presence being born and it dissolving inside You. This must be the eyes of the Absolute, isn’t it?

Yes, and then (David) you say, “I think you have been describing it.”

So now which problem can you have? What can make you suffer without picking up some falsehood? You Are That which is aware of all appearances, all the comings and goings of this world; You are aware of the coming and goings of millions of bodies which you have called ‘my body’. You are aware even of that.

Now as this Awareness, as this Awareness, what can you report? Is this Awareness interested, does it have a desire for anything at all? And you have to do nothing to become this, in fact you cannot do anything to not be this! Nothing can truly make a person out of you.

So when you say that ‘How do I abide in this?’ I say that you cannot not abide in this.  You are always abiding only in this. So what you might mean actually is how do I stop pretending to be a person? How does Consciousness stop pretending to be a person?  That must be the meaning of abiding, you see. Abiding cannot be that you’re actually not the Awareness any more, and you must become the Awareness and stay as that. It must only mean that we stop pretending as if we are something else. How do you know it is a pretense?  How do you know that the person is a pretense? How can it not be a pretense? Because when you look for it, you cannot find it.

You see if you are having a conversation about any other topic in the world and you would come with a presumption like this, that ‘I cannot see it and never found it, just these voices come and tell me that I Am That’. So suppose that the voice in your head was telling you that you are the king of England? Suppose this is what the voice was telling you: ‘You are the king of England’ and you believe this voice and you are convinced. So you talk to anyone in the world and they will say ‘Ok, what evidence do you have? Can you show a birth certificate? Can you show a family tree? Can you show something?’

But when everybody says that ‘I am a person’, this is the collective hypnosis you see, the collective hypnosis that nobody asks: ‘So how do you know that you are a person? Can you show me where this person is? Can you show me some evidence of its existence?’ But nobody asks this question. It is very rare in this realm for this question to be asked. Everybody’s interested in the attributes of the person. What do you like? What don’t you like? What are your tastes? All of these things: what are your goals? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What is your five-year plan? All the questions that your human resources team is telling you to ask, all these things, we find out a lot about this person. Are you really motivated? Are you driven? All these attributes of the person. Nobody says ‘How do you know you are a person?’

Because it seems like it is the most obvious thing that you must be a person. And all of this suddenly becomes more real when I say ‘person’ instead of ‘ego’. But it is exactly the same thing, the sense of separation, the sense of separateness. So this work of fiction, this work of imagination is the basis of most of our desires and aversion; all of our desires and aversions.

So the only question then left is: ‘Are you open enough to this possibility that you are no-thing, or would you still rather live in the delusion of begin some-thing because you have some fear of what seems like emptiness?’ Because sometimes we will say that ‘I would rather be a miserable, suffering some-thing than not know what I am’. So we must be honest with this.

You cannot avoid this not-knowingness. It comes like this. You want to go from certainty to certainty. You say ‘I was a person, now I’m not a person, so give me some certainty about what I am, then I’ll be willing to be open. You tell me I’m God, yes this sounds good. There’s some certainty about it, but don’t tell me I’m no-thing. Because I would rather be a miserable, suffering some-thing than be a no thing’.

But how can a no thing suffer? And once you discover the magnificence of your no-thing-ness, it is That in which all the something comes and goes. And you say ‘Ok, ok, I’m willing to look more’. Because these kind of words are more reassuring, you see? So if I was to just leave it at that, ‘You are no thing’ and not say anything else, this could be the shortest satsang actually [laughs]: ‘You are no thing, forget about it’. That’s not very…, it’s not an aid to openness. So sometimes I have to make friends with your identity and say ‘So, you will discover that you are that greatness’. And somebody says, “Yes, yes, greatness! I’m willing to discover about myself’.  This no-thing-ness is not very attractive.

This Awareness that You Are is aware of Being. This Awareness that You Are cannot suffer, cannot have as story. It cannot even identify. So the problem of identification is not a problem that Awareness is having. This seeming problem is the play of the dynamic aspect of Awareness, which is called Consciousness or Beingness or God or whatever.

By the way also I’m not very attached to definitions, ok? So if your definition of God is different from mine, it is completely fine. If your God is the Absolute, is Awareness itself, I have no trouble with that. So don’t get stuck in the definitions of what I’m saying. Just find the Truth which requires no label. Then you will find that all labels are just used to express in this dynamic aspect play, but ultimately no label has any meaning.

Q: Namaste Father.

Namaste my dear. So good to see you here.

Q: Good to see you. I’m so happy that Parvati brought this up, because I had also watched something with Adyashanti maybe yesterday and maybe we were watching the same thing.  When you were talking about it with her I could feel that it was kind of skimming over me or something and that’s always suspicious to me that maybe something’s not wanting to hear. So my sense is that something so enjoys this sort of elevated experiences and then when experiences like, you know, what might be considered typical human experiences… like feeling sad or even worried. w=When those come there’s some assumption that’s instantly made that means I’ve lost it or I’m not being myself, or something. And then there’s this sort of  ‘Okay, wait a second, that’s not true. This is all this One’. And so I don’t know if what happens is just the fascination with these elevated experiences or if there’s really something still in the game of avoiding. So I just… however you can guide me and show me, I feel very open to hear. And I’ll mute so I can hear you well.

Thank you my dear. So what we said is and what Parvati said when she started was, in her Heart it is completely clear that this is the Truth and that clarity is an unshakable one, isn’t it?  So it is clear that I am this Awareness. Now in Satsang why do we say it? Because sometimes we need the reminder because there might be some feeling that this clarity is not stabilized, so we need the reminder. But if we are operating from this clarity, then we must not use this as some sort of an advantage in our day to day practical living. Because very quickly it is the ego itself which uses advaitic concepts as an ego defence. You see? Or as a cheat code for the rest of our life. It will say, ‘This game of life I’ve figured out because now I have the cheat code that I am Awareness.’ [Laughter] And it doesn’t work like that – Enter ‘I am Awareness’ and the game all becomes… You know, only the expectations of the mind then get served up. That’s what the ego itself is saying. So with this unshakable clarity about what we are, we see that in day to day life everything is moving in resonance at that level.

So somebody comes to you and talks to you about work, about building a website, and then you’re talking about building a website. Somebody comes to Sumeher with a case, he’s going to talk to them about the case. He’s not going to say, ‘Oh first let’s come to the conclusion about who’s really suffering from this legal matter?’ You see? It’s not like that. That is what is the reverse kind of level confusion. You see your reality to be this. And ultimately, what can we really say about reality? What can we really say? Even the word Awareness does not do it justice, you see. There is no word which can really convey what we are. You see? So what happens is that in the rest of our life, we are just letting this Consciousness play out the way it is playing out and not confusing levels over there.  In Satsang we come and we say, ‘ Okay, Satsang is reminder… Satsang is reminder about what I am.’ And we hear, ‘Yes, I am this Awareness. I am this Awareness.’

So there must not be no aversion to even hearing, ‘I am this Awareness’ because that is what Satsang is for. Because you are here to remind you about what is real. And if this is clear, then day to day life just can continue in its own way. So we are not going around then Advaita policing or being spiritual jerks or trying to fix your car by repeating ‘I am Awareness, ‘I am Awareness’. It doesn’t work. It needs to be taken to the mechanic. But many get stuck in this kind of thing where they feel, ‘Okay now I’m liberated. And I heard in the books that the liberated one never had any problems.’ And then they, ‘Oh my car broke down. Does this mean I’m not Awareness now?’ You see? This kind of ludicrous stuff. So that is what we are speaking about. That in our heart it can be completely clear what I am, but when your car is broken down you don’t go to your family and say, ‘But I’m awake. I can’t take it to the mechanic. How can it even break down? You must be lying. It’s my car and I’m awake. It’s not allowed to break down.’ I’m exaggerating just to make the point, you see? Usually it shows up in much more subtle ways than this, but unless I exaggerate it doesn’t register.

Q: “I wanted to share something that I think someplace that maybe there was not clarity, and in the last few days it’s opened up. So I would just be doing whatever duties and – let’s say making breakfast or something- and attention was just free doing whatever it was doing. And then suddenly a thought would come, ‘I haven’t been, you know, conscious. I haven’t been putting attention on Awareness.’ And then there would be like this, who knows, minutes or hours or days of obsessing about how I lost it, or you know something. And just the other day I realized that game had been being played. For maybe a very long time, maybe years. That game had been being played. I realized that when you were sharing with me, that’s just another way that the mind has been playing something that would suggest…, I don’t even know what I’m saying now.”

I understand what you’re saying. So along the way somewhere, the mind also took on this instruction and said ‘You must abide as the Self, abide as Awareness, keep your attention with the Presence’. All this was heard and at that point in time, maybe it was Grace that it was heard like this because something got cleared up in that. But now, we realize that even this instruction is not for me, you see? Because what happens is that…, I have not at least met someone who has been able to constantly keep their attention with anything. Be in Awareness, be in Presence. I have not met one, you see? So when attention goes somewhere else, then very quickly the mind brings up the guilt thing. ‘See, you allowed your attention to move and that’s why this is happening.’ So this is seen like this that it became a mind trick. The mind was saying ‘You must keep your attention only here, only there.’ In fact, I don’t find that freedom. If it was forcibly trying to keep attention somewhere. I would not label that freedom actually.

That’s why we say, leave attention also completely free. Where can it go? It’s not going anywhere at all. It’s always inside you. All appearances are inside you. So no fear about where attention is also going. And therefore no guilt about it. So even this trick is dropped now.

You see that in every sangha, there are some different types of constituents; different types of constituents. So some will come and be part of sangha, and they will drop out. This is normal. Some drop outs are bound to be. So let’s say it may be the college metaphor.

So some will say that ‘Oh, this course is really not for me. I drop out’.

And other type of drop out will say ‘I got everything. I already know this course, and why am I here? So I drop out’. So those are the drop outs.

Then there are some who Graduate, who really in their heart they feel ‘Yes. This true discovery of What I Am is clear’. So what I mean by graduate is: It’s clear, no suffering, none of this trouble; but it doesn’t feel to continue as part of this sangha anymore. It feels like Life is starting its own course. It is going somewhere in its own way. And I say ‘Okay, you Graduate and let life take you wherever it is taking you’.

But it’s good if you get this Graduation from the mouth of the Master, you see? Because many times the drop outs will say that ‘Yes, yes, I already know this, this is clear to me’. So it’s good to check. It’s just good to check.

The fourth are those who just feel like ‘This is my Home. It’s not a college. This is where I must be! I cannot leave. And I don’t care; graduated, dropped out, understood, not understood…, I just know that this is Home’.

So like this. Every sangha has all of this. It’s okay. This is how it plays…..