BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (12.3-12.5)

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Chapter 12: Abiding in the Self. Janaka said:

[12.3] “Effort is required to concentrate a distracted mind superimposed with illusion. Knowing this, I remain here.”

I remain here. Starting with the remaining, in the sense of not giving the false any belief, then Seeing that even with the moment of attention, I have actually not left. I remain here.

[12.4] “Nothing to reject, nothing to accept. No joy, no sorrow. Lord God, I am here.”

So, from the perspective of the Self, now he is saying that now there is nothing to reject nor to accept. There is nothing to do or not-do. All this does not apply to the Self. All of it is part of this movement of the play, movement of Consciousness. This attribute-less Awareness is not concerned even with joy or sorrow. ‘Lord God, I am here’. So, Consciousness recognizing Its own Source, saying ‘Wow! This is what I Am’.

[12.5] “The four stages of life, life without stages, meditation, renunciation, objects of mind; nothing but distractions. I am forever here.”

When we are abiding in the Self, then these words can be spoken with authenticity. We must not be too quick to label everything meditation, renunciation and everything as distraction but it’s good if you can look at it like this.

So, the four stages of life. What are the four stages? (And you help me if I forget somewhere.) In India, in Hinduism particularly, it’s defined like this. 24 years each.

The first stage is Brahmacharya. Brahmacharya means that you typically study, you get an education, you learn the scriptures. So, it’s defined. A prescribed way of living. The first stage is to get a good education, to live with a Master and to learn all the shastras and vedas and whatever. If you’re going to get into a profession, then all the professional skills. That is the first stage.

The second stage is Grihastha where you are supposed to be married, you’re supposed to have a family, you’re supposed to contribute to society, run your business, do your job well, focus on the worldly aspect of things.

The third stage is Vanaprastha from 48 onwards is planning for retirement. You start to let go, you start handing over your business to your children, you start to plan for your future retirement. You get back into the reading of the scriptures. You’re back to the study of what is reality. So, from 48 to 72.

So, til 24 was Brahmacharya, til 48 was Grihastha, til 72 was Vanaprastha and fourth is Sannyasa.

In the fourth stage, you leave this worldly life, you renounce everything (possessions, everything) and you go live in an ashram somewhere. And you’ll find even today in India, many will go live in places like Rishikesh. There’s a beautiful ashram called Gita Bhavan where you see a lot of old people; they’ll go and live there. And you speak to them and they’ll say ‘We wanted to come here and die, basically, next to the Ganga so we can attain moksha’. So, you live with a Master in some ashram and you’ll spend the last days of your life in quietude, in some ashram contemplating the Self.

So, this was something that was prescribed in one of the shastras and it’s a very popular system.

So, the Sage is saying ‘The four stages of life, life without stages, meditation, renunciation, objects of mind’ (all of this) ‘nothing but distractions’. From the perspective of Awareness, how this life is moving, what stages are there, whether meditation is happening, whether renunciation happened of thought, action, speech, possessions, objects…, all of that is just Seen. All of that is just Seen. From this perspective, to give importance to any of that just seems like a big distraction. Many times in satsang also we can talk like this. ‘Why be bothered about any of this?’ we can say. But that is speaking from This.

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (13.1)

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Chapter 13: Happiness. Janaka said:

[13.1] “The tranquil state of knowing Self alone is rare; even among those who own but a loincloth. I therefore neither renounce nor accept and I am happy.”

So what is he saying? He is saying that he has had the experience of meeting many sadhus and yogis and they have renounced everything material and they own just a loincloth; and yet they have not come to this recognition of the Self, come to this liberation which comes with tranquility, silence, the end of suffering. So, it is not about this outward renunciation. ‘I therefore neither renounce nor accept and I am happy’. So, you drop the concept itself. More and more, it is just dropping every concept; concept of doership. Forget about doing or not doing.

Q: Renunciation.

A: Yes, that it is it; renunciation of our mind. Then Janaka is saying (because Janaka is a King) he is saying that even if you wear the loincloth or you have a kingdom like me, actually it makes no difference to the reality of Self-recognition; the dropping of the false conditioning.

So, true renunciation (we can call it, like you’re saying) must be that which is beyond this material renunciation or acceptance of material possessions. Many times, many have got caught up in just these ideas ‘I need to leave my family, I need to leave my worldly things to find the truth of who I am’. There is a well-described, prescribed path for that. But even that, the renunciation of worldly possessions will not bring you the recognition of the Self. It must be this renunciation of concepts. It seems like it should be simpler to drop concepts than to drop our material possessions, but actually they are very sticky.

And I have taken contemporary examples. We don’t have to go back to the olden times. Just a letting go. But to take a contemporary example, I have had friends who have said ‘I am tired of this worldly life, I am tired of Bangalore and the traffic. I am just going to get myself a small place in Goa. I am going to live on a farm outside Bangalore. I am going to renounce this world and get peace’. And what are the reports a week after they’ve gone? ‘It’s nice. Very beautiful. It is so nice, it is so peaceful, it is so quiet. I am so happy I made this decision’. You talk to them after three months ‘Oh, it’s okay. It’s okay. The water is sometimes a problem here, security is an issue, we started to get these other people who, you know, I am not sure whether they are that safe. Electricity is very rare, it rarely comes. And my farm is having lots of problems because I am not getting the right people to plant the vegetables’. All these problems. The mind starts complaining very quickly. So all that which was beautiful and nice and all of that, after three months it is no big deal.

We said yesterday, or the day before that there are limits to getting pleasure through sensory perception. So, (like I’ve said also) we go to Tiruvanamalai and just as Arunachala is getting close, we’re all like ‘Wow’. We get the darshan of the beautiful mountain. And then we look at the people who just live over there (they may be devout of course) and many are just normal people who are born in Tiruvanamalai. And they are looking at us saying ‘What are these people looking at? What is going on?’ [Chuckles] It is just a mountain for many who live there. So, just like this.

So, it is not about worldly renunciation. Can we be empty of all mental knowing? The fact is renunciation (which is important) for some worldly people, it will help. And for some, it does not help that at all. But the point is to drop all concepts. That is the true renunciation.

Because, Janaka in his life must have also faced this confusion as a king, where the yearning would have been for the Truth. The confusion might be that there are so many Sages who have dropped everything. There are many, many examples. I have been watching this Sia ke Ram [tv series] and I’ve picked up a lot of stories of Indian mythology. The sage Sumitra used to be a king. Many of the sages were kings and they dropped their kingdom and everything, and became Sages; contemporary to Janaka. So, their confusion might be there, saying that ‘I still have this kingdom’. So, after meeting Ashtavakra, he [Janaka] came to this conclusion that neither this sort of renunciation nor a yearning for any of this is needed. ‘I am here as the Self and I am happy.’

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (12.1-12.8)

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Chapter 12: Abiding in the Self. Janaka said:

[12.1] “Becoming first intolerant of action, then of excessive speech, then of thought itself, I come to be here.”

So, chapter 12 is abiding in the Self. The first verse ‘Becoming first intolerant of action, then of excessive speech, then of thought itself, I come to be here’. So, what is he speaking about? He is saying that ‘It is not my action’. To see that the one who pretends as if these movements (which are appearing in this instrument called the body) you find that all of it is operating in its own way. To be completely natural and at ease, it doesn’t need any intervention from the identity. So, let’s become intolerant of the idea that ‘It is my action’ that ‘I must be the doer of something’.

As the urge for freedom arises, one of the aspects of the seeker identity is also the struggle to do something to find freedom. ‘What can I do? What must I do? Which practices, which teacher? Where do I go?’ This impulse can be very strong. And just like doership is the key leg for the regular ego, the spiritual doership is an aspect of the spiritual ego.

Now, if you were trying to experience the space in this room, what steps do you have to take to experience it? You are trying to experience the space in this room, so then, what steps to take? Do you have to go left or right? You already are here!

Now to experience Yourself…, what steps do you need to take? Left or right?

So, since even to experience this room we don’t have to take any step then how would it be that to experience my Self I have to take some step?

That’s why I am saying that: Right Now, You Are Free…, from all identity, all conditioning.

But the step that we seem to take is the step of pretense. The step of pretense means that ‘I am pretending to walk within this room so I can come to find fully the experience of this room’. So if you have this idea that ‘I am not in this room yet, I have not reached the Satsang hall’ …, if this was the idea which was predominant, then we would still be walking; trying to get to the Satsang hall.

Then what happens? We are here but the mind is saying ‘No, no, you are not here yet. You are not in the Satsang hall yet’. [You ask] ‘Okay, what should I do? Maybe a little bit left, maybe a little to the right’. It’s going round and round in the same room, only in the Satsang hall.

So trying to find ourselves is this way, where must we go to find that which we Are? If it is the pursuit of something, it must come with the implication that we don’t already have it.

That is famous; the pursuit of happiness implies that ‘I don’t have happiness, that’s why I am pursuing it. If I already have it, then why would I pursue it?’ The pursuit of the Self implies that we start with the presumption that I don’t have it already.

But Right Now what are we? Is any step needed to experience your own Self?

So all the pointing, all the inquiry, all the questioning is so that we come to the end of this pursuit. We come to see what is already True. The master is just saying ‘Check and see that you are already here. Stop running. You never left. You have never left the destination’.

Now, the mind will come and say ‘But this is not what I had heard about the Satsang hall. I heard the Satsang hall is really big and it’s got all multicolored lights happening everywhere and I will find a lot of bliss the minute I enter’. So, if we have these ideas, these ideas will try to fight back and say ‘Okay, if this is the Satsang hall then, where is the light? It’s not so big’. It will try to give you these ideas to tell you that ‘No, it is not this’.

So, the dropping is only of the false ‘How to find the Truth?’ We can have some idea of freedom, of finding our Self, just like we can have an idea of what the Satsang hall should look like. And when we enter, you say ‘Where are the lights? Where is the big large space that I heard about?’

Same when we experience ourselves to be just That which knows our Presence, That which itself is not phenomenal, then the mind can come and say ‘But where are the fireworks? Where is the halo, where are the miracles?’ It can say these kinds of things. So, because we are looking for evidence which is circumstantial (which should be evidence that ‘I actually got it’) we miss what we truly are Right Now.

In the play, what is it that needs to be done? What is it that seemingly needs to be done? Let’s take an example. In India, suppose you went to a grocery store and you got some rice. But when you open out the rice you find a lot of small pebbles. Then how to make the rice be rice. Just by removing the pebbles, isn’t it?

So, we don’t need to become the Self. We already Are the Self. All that seemingly needs to be dropped in this play are the false ideas that we hold about ourselves.

I am very happy that we are having this discussion today. I feel like I want to re-emphasize this over and over again, that Right Now You Are Free. It is actually the end of story.

But, if you have a ‘but…’ then I have a suggestion. If you don’t have a ‘but…’ then I have no suggestion. [Smiles] If you have a ‘but…’ then my suggestion is: ‘Don’t believe your next thought’.

Okay, so first, emptiness. ‘But…, something, something happened to me’. I say okay ‘Don’t buy this story’. That’s the first option. Then you say ‘But I keep buying it. It keeps happening to me’. Then I say ‘Find out in reality whether there is such a ‘me’ at all’.

So, first we have let go. You say ‘No, no, but I keep falling for it’. I say ‘Okay, inquire into who is that ‘I’?’ You say ‘No, but even enquiry it’s not really working. Then I say ‘Okay, see what is real and what is not real’.

[You say] ‘But my mind is too clouded, it doesn’t let me see. It is not able to distinguish / discriminate between what is eternal and what is just momentary’. [I say] ‘Okay, maybe you just need to sit and focus on your breath, and just relax your mind a bit, so that it becomes a bit quiet and then you can see’.

[You say] ‘No, no, mind doesn’t get quiet. I sit and I am not able to’. [I say] ‘Okay, so maybe I give you a mantra’. (I am going through the flowchart fast.) ‘Maybe you do the mantra. The habit will break a little bit, and you will come to some quietness of the mind’.

[You say] ‘I can’t even chant’. [I say] ‘Okay, okay. You read some scriptures. Maybe that will bring some energetic peace in your life’.

[You say] ‘No. I don’t enjoy it. [Reading scriptures] It is just too boring and I don’t believe in God anyway’. [I say] ‘Okay. So then can you move your body in certain steps, and movements, or you sit in certain pose and breathe [Demonstrates a couple of breaths and laughs] like that. Maybe that will bring some peace and maybe that will bring some quiet. [You say] ‘Yeah, I did that for few days. It was very nice, very nice but now I don’t enjoy it’.

That is how the flowchart is flowing; from that stillness…, to this point.

Then I say ‘What is that you really want?’

Because it was not feeling to do this, this, this, none of this [Referring to flowchart] then maybe you are climbing up the wrong tree. [Chuckles] So, what is it that you really want?

[You say] ‘I don’t know’. You see, many times it comes like this, when you find people who are not able to get anywhere on the ladder; then it is seen that they have a problem with the wall actually not with the ladder. They are climbing the wrong wall.

[I say] ‘What is it that you really want?’ [You say] ‘I want to climb on that wall’. [I say] ‘Oh, that wall! For that I have a different ladder’. Otherwise usually it is found that some rung in this so-called ladder seems to be attractive; if it is the truth that we want, the reality of the self that we want, then somewhere we find some joy in any of this.

So what we usually talk about is that (it can be the first rung, doesn’t have to be the top rung) we can make ourselves feel better by saying ‘Okay ours is the top rung of the ladder’ …, which is so direct, right there. Because all of it is coming to this point: that Right Now what You Are is the Self. That is the so-called top rung of the ladder. If there is a ‘but…’ then we go to the lower rung. If there is another ‘but…’ go to the next rung. Like that.

Come back to this point where you see: Right now, what are you?

[Silence]

And if something is getting caught then in the play, the suggestion is ‘Just let go’. Simple allowing, simple surrender.

But if something is sticky? Then the suggestion is inquire: ‘Who is it that is stuck?’

[Silence]

Inquiring brings us to the direct tasting of this, the reality of who we are; back to the simple Witnessing without the sticky conditioning.

If inquiry is not feeling natural, what should one do? Come to satsang, hear the words of satsang, experience the energy of satsang, the Presence of satsang. That itself will clean up a lot, you see.

If you’re not in satsang then contemplate: ‘What is it?’ You read the transcripts, you contemplate them; what does it mean? What does it mean when you say ‘Right now you are free’? Just like this. Contemplation is just like that.

Many of you are getting the wrong idea about contemplation. You just have to look at the words and say ‘Okay, how is the experience here?’ and look deeply. If the words of the contemplation are ‘You are the unchanging Awareness’ …, look and see if it is true.

The sensations of the body are not the unchanging Awareness.

Therefore, (and the Sage could not be lying) so what else is here?

I am some other thoughts, some other things?

Okay, that is not the unchanging Awareness.

What is the sage talking about?

The Presence of existence is here, but even this is not unchanging;

there is sleep and there is waking.

Then what is the Sage talking about?

Who Witnesses even this Presence?

Even that is changing?

Is it not Aware?

Am I not this?

To see that ‘I Am This’ is the contemplation.

Just like this.

Now do we get caught up? ‘Okay, okay, I am doing the contemplation. Oh, it’s boring, I don’t feel like it’. But then, feelings come. ‘But this is what I am right now? This feeling?’

So, as we get more and more attracted to the reality of the Self, and the changing realm doesn’t seem as attractive anymore, these contemplations will seem easier and easier.

The play is that the ‘but…’ is never true. You are the Self. No ‘but…’ is ever true, you see? Therefore, no suggestion is also ever required.

But if the ‘but…’ feels true, then we must try the suggestions from these Sages. That’s what they are there for. And by now the philosophy is so old; that whatever ever level of ‘but…’ you can have, there will be a suggestion available.

There’s so many diverse so-called paths, so many ladders for us to climb. Its’ not so difficult to really come to this point of neutrality when that is our truest urge.

Are we willing to be completely naked; forever? …, who I am without any story? Those who have this feeling that they are, this kind of direct satsang is for them.

And many times we can say ‘Yes’ but later as we are confronted with the destruction of the false ego with all its stories then something can come and say ‘No, no, not really. Maybe I’m not up for it yet’. And that’s completely fine. There is no impulse (although it might feel like it sometimes) there is really no feeling here that I must push you; that if you’re still playing that I must drag you out of the play. [Chuckles].

[Silence]

But if it feels true to me what you’re saying, if it feels true to me that what you want is Freedom (irrespective of what happens) then I will say ‘Drop it, drop it, drop it’.

Q: At this moment, I have no problem with the vastness. But I can see (although the background is vastness) I can see that prompting, of ‘Pick up, pick up; do’ but I don’t want to. There is something (there is no ‘I’) there is something that does not want to perceive that habit, because I’m on this side; and this prompter is seeming to move. I see the battle.

A: Okay, let us really look at this very, very slowly. What am I actually saying? I know I have been saying this for a long time and you have been hearing this for a long time, but sometimes it feels like you haven’t really heard it. So, let me repeat what I am saying very slowly, and wherever you have a problem, you stop me. Wherever you have a problem, you stop me.

Right now, what are you?

You are the Self. You are this unchanging Awareness.

Not trouble. It could be the end of satsang right here, right now, isn’t it? But you will say ‘But what happens when suffering comes or I go into the market place of the world, how do I not suffer?’ I say ‘But you are always the Self. You only pretend to be the non-self when you pick up your next thought.’ So, that’s why I say ‘Okay, to be free from this idea of suffering, all you have to do is not believe your next thought.’ You see, because that would be a picking up of the thought. Without the picking up of the thought this separate individual pretense cannot take root, cannot take place. We all see this? Or no?

Q: So, it is like when we are sitting, even just still…, when some action needs to be done then it seems like the doership feeling comes. Otherwise there is not a problem in just being even a Witness (or being nothing, actually. There is no Witness. Just being blank). But the minute there is an action to be done or something then… a feeling arises and ‘I am doing this, I am doing that.’ Is that the thought which we should not pick up?

A: Okay, let us make a flow chart, and everyone must listen. Don’t feel like you have switched off or ‘He is on a different track, it is not resonating with me today so I am just going to switch it off’ you know and ‘You are the Presence’ etc.

Right Now, You Are Free. You are the unchanging Awareness. All of you have been in satsang, and actually most of you, you have this direct recognition that there is an unchanging Witnessing, irrespective of whatever might be happening in the phenomenal world. So, this is the core of the pointing: ‘What are you? I am this Self, Awareness, Witnessing…, untouched by this play.’ End of story?

Now if there is a ‘but’…, it cannot be a ‘but’ unless you bought some idea. Is it true or not? True? Everyone is with me so far? Can it be anything other than us buying some idea which can make us seem as if we are separate, as if we are an individual entity? Yes or no? Do you have to believe you’re an individual entity to pretend to be separate?

Q: I don’t feel something special. It’s the end of the story of this one.

A: You do feel or don’t feel?

Q: I feel this mind, the body. I don’t suddenly feel I’m universal.

A: Yes. So, right now, that which you are saying is ‘my body’…, that actually is experienced as what?

Q: As sensations.

A: So there are some sensations. What calls it ‘mine’? Sensation is being experienced (we can go really slowly) some sensation is being experienced. Can the experiencing of a sensation make it mine? Where does the ‘mine’ come from? [Silence] Experience the sensation right now and see if you can say ‘this is mine’ without interpreting it, just without labeling it.

Q: I know the mechanics of it, mechanics of how…

A: Okay, what is the mechanics?

Q: That which believes it has a story and which owns the body, you feel like …

A: And that mechanics translates into ‘right now’? How, in what way? [Silence] Whatever the belief might have been, whatever the concepts you have picked up in the past might have been, does that play out in ‘me calling the sensation mine’?

Q: It is the same thing; it comes ‘the me’.

A: This ‘me’ is another sensation? Is it a sensation, or is it imagination? What is it? Is it a block? What does it feel like? Let us look at that. We have time, this is very important. Where does the ‘me’ come from?

Q: It’s just a mood, like a…

A: Feeling is sensation? Distinguish. Is it separate from the sensation? Chase it, don’t let it go, chase it down. It is like a feeling of ‘me’. The feeling is experienced how? [Silence] Is it a sense of existence?

Q:  It is mixed.

A; Yes. What is mixed? On top of the sensory existence, what is there?

Q: I’ve just held this belief so long, in the past….

A: But how is that experienced? How do you experience a belief?

Q: I come to the word ‘feeling’.

A: There is a feeling which feels like what? Like a sense of separation. Is it like that or …? What do you call this ‘me’?

Q: For example, if somebody throws something on me, I feel like somebody is throwing something at me.

A: At me, yes. So, something is thrown; some sensation comes up in the body and the movement of the hand happens…, at least that is a very good idea, no? If you did not know that I am going to throw this at you, then do you really have to think about it to get ready, to catch it?

Q: It just happens on its own.

A: It just happened. So, the sensation happens, the movement of the body happens on its own

Q: It is like something else, not me.

A: Yes, that is why to see ‘This ‘me’…., what is it?’ is very important, isn’t it? What are we calling ‘me’? There is a sensation which is the body, so we have sensations from this body which seems to define the borders of this body. What makes it ‘my’ body? What brings the ‘me’ into the body? Then I said ‘Is it the sense of existence?’ You say that ‘There is a ‘me’ that is mixed up with even that.’ So what is this ‘me’? It is a sensation? But a sensation means something that is experienced sensorially. So, are you experiencing this ‘me’ as if ‘Through our inner perception it is experienced as sensation’? Or what is it being experienced as?

Q: A sensation like a…

A: Yes, what is it? A feeling or sensation; both are energetic, isn’t it? So is this ‘me’ being experienced as that? [Silence] That which gets mixed up with the sensations of the body and gets mixed up with the sense of ‘I Am’ itself…, that?

Q: Already I am expecting that there will be a time when I look at the same body and not feel the same as I always felt. It will feel something like that is not the core of me.

A: In fact it can be experienced even more openly (the sensations of the body) because when our attention is not getting split between the attention going to thoughts and sensations of the body, then the sensations of the body will come even more clearly experienced. The labeling it as ‘me’ will stop. What makes it ‘me’?

Q: Mmmmm…. [Laughter]

A: That sound was also experienced as sensation, but why is that not ‘me’? Is it because the habit has been to label this set of sensations which seem so intimate (‘That is me’) which makes it feel ‘But oh, it is natural to call this me [Pointing to the body] but not that me’. [Pointing to something away from the body] Or is there something more than that?

Q: [Inaudible]

A: The ‘person’ concept is not the same ‘me’ concept?

Q: Yes. But seeing this concept is not dissolving this feeling of this body being ‘mine’.

A: So I am asking you: Is there such a feeling of ‘mine’? And mixed with the thought, is there (in the purity of feeling itself) is there such a feeling which is ‘me’?

Q: A mix-up happens.

A: That is why I am saying it is so beautiful that now everything is dropped. A sensation is arising, what makes it ‘me’? The witnessing of a sensation, is that enough to call it a ‘me’? A Witnessing is happening. Nothing we can say is arising unless it is witnessed anyway. So there is sensation. Now, what makes it ‘my’ sensation?

Q: What do I do without like a check, a check? That is where the point comes. [Inaudible]

A: Forget about that now. Now, there is this experience of sensation which we can call the body, What, in that, makes it ‘me’?

Q: ‘My’ is connected with a concept…

A: Can there be a concept without an idea or a thought? [Silence] Is there a ‘my’ which is separate from this Awareness which is witnessing this? Separate from ‘I’, is there an entity called ‘me’ which is experiencing this sensation called the body?

Q: Can’t find …

A: Can’t find. And it is not that type of ‘can’t find’ that we haven’t looked at often and can’t find? Is it that type of ‘can’t find’? You have looked and looked and looked and you can’t find. So at what point will we come to this seeing that ‘I looked in the entire house, my spectacles are just not there.’ [Chuckles] Is there still a lingering feeling that there might be?

Q: Then a sense of contraction is felt.

A: Yes, but how does that sense of contraction become ‘my’ contraction?

Q: I believe it’s the other way around, that if there is no sense of ‘me’ there won’t be a contraction.

A: A sense of contraction (or any sensation) is just a sensation. It is phenomenal movement. Does that prove the existence of a separate entity?

Q: It doesn’t prove the existence of a separate entity, but it’s like it gives an effect.

A: It is like when you go to these modern movie theatres and an airplane is crashing and seats start shaking, so it gives the effect as if they are in the airplane. So, the sensation is experienced, but is there still a ‘my sensation’? [Silence] When we are looking for the Truth all that needs to be done is to let go of the false.

Q: Maybe the experience of contraction is somewhere.

A: Interpreted as. That is the trouble. So it is Seen in this Absolute Witnessing (which is aware of this phenomenal play). Then some sensation can come. The interpretation of the sensation is not picked up; or the interpretation of the sensation is picked up. These are the two alternatives.

Now, presuming that there is something that you can do about it (presume) then what would you advise someone who came to you with this problem that ‘Okay, this sensation is coming and I am calling it ‘my’ sensation?’ You would say ‘Don’t label it ‘mine’ knowing fully well that something can be done about it. So, that is where we come to ‘Don’t believe our next thought’. Because no matter what the sensation is; it can be a very strong vibration, but unless you say ‘See, see, this is me’…, until we get that signal from the mind, even then we cannot report it as ‘mine’. It might seem very intimate, it might seem very close, it might seem like the most closest thing that ever is experienced…, until we buy this idea, this signal from the mind saying ‘This proves that it is you. See, it feels so much like you. How can it not be you?’ Without that, you cannot even report that it is ‘my sensation’.

And yet when we look… Both the so-called methods are discussed here. One is let go, which means surrender ‘Let it happen, nothing is happening, it is all God’s problem’. And the second is that if the idea is being picked up that ‘This is happening to me’ or ‘This is mine’ then inquire whether there is such a ‘me’…, who am I?

So it is Right Here, Right Now. It is that Present, this which we are talking about every day. Just Right Now You are the Self; end of story. But if you buy a ‘but’ …, the same one that buys the ‘but’ can also drop the ‘but’. Whether it chooses to buy the ‘but’ or not is also Its will, as Consciousness.

Now, in the designated rolls in this play, you find that most of humanity saying ‘Buy, buy, buy…’ encouraging Itself to buy. And there are some who are playing in the role of ‘Don’t buy, don’t buy, don’t buy’. That is all that is really going on. Now, can the ones who are saying ‘Buy, buy, buy’ or ‘Don’t buy, don’t buy, don’t buy’ do they actually make any difference? Not really in the ultimate scheme of things. It is just the roles that everyone is playing. And yet, as long as it feels like there is a separate ‘me’, the appearance of one who says ‘Don’t buy’ (or inquires) seems to be a beautiful happening, a beautiful event in their life.

So, it is just this point: Right Now You are free. There are no ‘buts’. But if you buy the ‘but’ (and it is said ‘Don’t buy’ or inquire into who it is that you are presuming yourself to be) then this is surrender and inquiry. It is that subtle. When you make a teaching out of it, it can seem like ‘Okay, this and this and this’. But actually it is that simple.

It is like you are sitting quietly and suddenly you say ‘Okay, I have to get to my destination’. Then you start walking. He says ‘No, no stop, you are already there. Let go of this idea’ or ‘Who is it that you are trying to get to? Who are you trying to become? The Self? Who are you already?’

[Looks at Q] But…? No but…? [Laughs] In this emptiness, are you the doer or the non-doer? It’s too empty to make any report?

Q: It feels like work.

A: It feels like work to contemplate this. The point is that there is no concept of doership at all. It is only after we picked up the concept of ‘me’ that the concept of ‘dropping the me’ or ‘picking up further ideas of me’ arises.

Who doesn’t See that Right Now they are free?

A: Right now if you don’t pick up anything, then nothing needs to be dropped. Because first you need to pick it up. So, the idea of separation, if it is not picked up, then nothing at all. If the idea, any conclusion, any concept is picked up about yourself, [Just look]: Who does the picking up?

Q: I feel it gets me.

A: Yes, but this is the dichotomy that the mind creates. It is that the picking up is the getting of picking up, but the dropping is not the getting of the dropping. So, if I say ‘Touch your nose’…, you did that? Or it happened?

Q: Feels like I did it.

A: Because that is the conclusion your mind is painting for you. You don’t know how to do it; the mind does not know how to touch your nose also. So, what happens is we say ‘Yes the belief actually gets picked up, but the dropping…, so when we say ‘Okay, drop it’ [you say] ‘But that must happen on its own’. Why can’t that happen as spontaneously as you touch your nose?

This is a very, very important point, because this is the strongest source of Advaita resistance, so to speak, in a way; because the dropping is as much a doing as the picking up. Picking up and dropping must be at the same level of doership. But when it comes to picking up, we say ‘Okay, but that just happened’.

So if there is a sense that Consciousness can pick up the concept, then there must also be the sense that Consciousness can drop it. Who else but Consciousness is here?

So, when we are talking about abiding in the Self then we don’t pick up the idea itself of doership. But when we do pick up the idea with the sense that I am the doer, then already the sense of separation is here that ‘I am a separate entity’. As long as that sense is there, the Sages advise us to ‘Drop it, don’t pick it up’.

If it is true that your sense is that Consciousness will do everything, there is no separate you to do anything at all, then the picking up of anything will also not cause any suffering, because you see that I am not experiencing anything; it is the Consciousness.

So, that is what I have been saying the last few days, it is only the ‘half and half’ which gets us in trouble. ‘I am not the doer, Consciousness is the doer; but I am still the experiencer and as the experiencer, am waiting for the Consciousness to drop it. That is not true. If you are not the doer then you are also not the experiencer. All of this is just being experienced within the space of Consciousness Itself. There is no individual ‘me’ to do anything. If that is true then it must also be seen that there is no individual ‘me’ that is suffering from something. Then no pointing is needed.

When we continue to carry the sense that ‘I am the experiencer but not the doer’ then that can be what is called sort of the ‘victim’ mind set; the ‘me vs God’ or ‘God is doing this to me’ kind of mind set.  So, that is why it is said that as long as there is a sense of separation then we can do the enquiry; if there is no sense of separation, if we are abiding in the Self, then nothing to be done at all.

That is why when you look at the book ‘Be as You Are’ the first chapter is just the Self. Is there instruction? Nothing. It is just the spontaneous revelation ‘I am the Self’. There is no doership, no separate experience, nothing to be done, no practice; nothing. But if it still feels like it is not true ‘I am still suffering in this life’ (and this is very, very important because a Sage does not say ‘I am suffering in this life’. Why is it that he doesn’t say ‘Okay, if suffering has to come, then I’m ready’ (this kind of stuff)? You don’t hear him speaking Advaita like that. It is very conclusive: ‘There is no real suffering, whatever suffering comes is only momentary’.

So, why? Because the idea of doer and experiencer are both resolved. So, if it is apparent that I am the Self then there is no doer, there is no experiencer; nothing to be done. Everything is seen to be moving in the space of Being. It doesn’t affect or touch the reality of what I Am.

But if there is a condition which seems to be deeply ingrained, then the Master will always say ‘But look and see that is not true’. You are just running from corner to corner in this room, but you are only in the satsang hall. But you say ‘Okay, but telling me to stop is also doership’. I am just saying: Stop and see what you already are. Drop the false idea that you have not reached. That is not doership; that is just ending the sensation of doership.

So it is just like this. We go from place to place and the Sage comes and says ‘Stop’ and the mind comes and says ‘But, stop? That seems like asking me to do something?’ So, the dropping is not the doing actually.

Can you see this or not? It is the picking up which is the ‘doing’. See this for yourselves now rather than thinking about it. Allow the thoughts to come and see what the actual ‘doing’ is. Is the ‘doing’ to allow ourselves to remain in this neutrality? Or is the ‘doing’ (the seeming-doing) to pick up these ideas?

From my perspective it seems like it is effort to go pick up these thoughts. And it is effortless to just drop, because dropping is happening in the moment, on its own. So, to not go with the flow…, it is like you are swimming against the tide. And I say ‘Come, come. Come to the shore, nothing will happen’.  So, what is the doing? It seems like they’re going with these thoughts and picking them up is trying to swim against the tide. But to come to the side and allow them to go, allow the river to flow, or this tide to go up and down, that is just an effortless witnessing.

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (12.3.-12.4)

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Chapter 12: Abiding in the Self.

Janaka said:

[12.3] “Effort is required to concentrate a distracted mind super-imposed with illusion. Knowing this, I remain here.”

‘Effort is required to concentrate a distracted mind super-imposed with illusion. Knowing this, I remain here.’ So, this is what we said, isn’t it? The chapter is called ‘Abiding in the Self.’ Now, the Sage is saying that ‘If I allow myself to fall into this distractive mind, to give my belief to this distracted mind, then I know that effort will be needed for me to come back from there’. You see? Since ‘Effort is required to concentrate a distracted mind which is super-imposed with illusion (the appearance of this illusion) Knowing this, I remain here’. I don’t venture into this mind at all.

Just like he said earlier ‘The mind is complex. Let it go’. He’s making the same point; that he’s seen from experience that if he goes into that quicksand, effort will seemingly be required to get pulled out of that. So, I’ll stay at the top of that flow-chart, which is ‘I am the Self’.

The minute we fall into these ideas, then effort will be required to concentrate this distracted mind back to the truth of who I am; because it is super-imposed with illusion. Everything is called the illusion; the sensations in the body, experiences, contractions, this play of relationship, people saying this and that, the outer Master. Full drama goes on, isn’t it?

So, this illusion is super-imposed upon our experience and if I fall into the quick-sand of the mind, then I know that some effort will be needed. I’ll need to inquire, I’ll need to bring myself to stillness. So, I don’t venture into that quicksand at all. ‘Knowing this, I remain here.’

[12.4] “Nothing to reject, nothing to accept. No joy, no sorrow. Lord God, I am here.”

These words can be said from this perspective of abiding in the Self. As has been reiterated over and over in the past, it’s not that I have to do something to abide in the Self. The self is my natural state. It is not allowing the false to be mixed as a pretense…, is the only way to stop the pretense.

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (12.1)

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Chapter 12: Abiding in the Self. Janaka said:

[12.1] “Becoming first intolerant of action, then of excessive speech, then of thought itself, I come to be here.”

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So, ‘Becoming first intolerant of action, then of excessive speech, then of thought itself…’

We’re letting go of all of this. The expressions of the Sages in the traditional days used to be much stronger. They’re not saying ‘Drop it’ or ‘Don’t…, become intolerant of action’. They’re just saying ‘Let go of how it has to function. Let it function on its own. Don’t be concerned about that. Then don’t be concerned about how your expressing yourself, what words are coming’. ‘I am not the doer of my actions, neither the speaker of my words nor the thinker of my thoughts.’ That is what this verse is basically saying.

As we lose our attachment from all of this, then what are we losing? It’s beautiful. We’re losing guilt, we’re losing remorse, regret, pride. The mind is saying ‘Oh, he’s taking everything away from me! He’s taking my action, my speech, my thoughts away from me’. But we’re losing all of this stuff which is egoistic. We’re losing the ego basically; losing the separation.

Sometimes it can feel like an attack. Like that story from Vasistha; they’ll say ‘Yes, yes, you are true’. And they will come and hug you. (I’m paraphrasing, of course). And some will say ‘Oh, you are attacking me’ and start crying.

So, when this Grace is killing this false one or dissolving this false one (if you prefer it put nicely) [Laughs] then there can be some fight back from the false one; there can be this. And then, it is so good at painting pictures. It hypnotizes you so well that you’ll forget about all the nice things and all the good times and only the words which seem to attack you, those will keep ringing. [Makes ringing sound, like phone ringing] It’s very, very common for it to happen like this.

[Silence]

I can honestly say that Grace lead this entire beautiful play here and got me at Guruji’s [Mooji’s] feet. But the fact is that any words of the scriptures or any of the Masters, if they were taken with openness, it is completely possible for the flowering of this liberation to happen.

What is happening is that through all these experiences I life, we’re becoming open and open and willing to let go of our most favorite ideas. And if we didn’t have any condition, then just hearing that ‘You are the solitary Witness, the unchanging Self’ can be the end of this seeming-spiritual journey. You don’t need any energetic support; nothing. But if Grace has already opened you out…, the functioning of Grace is this way. It makes us open to the Truth, which is very simple and obvious actually.

So, the whole drama, the whole play, choosing between Masters, going here, going there, all of that was all a play of going from closed fists to open fists. Because what is being shared by all the true Masters is just the same thing:

You are That.

You are the Self.

So, what are the ideas that we are unwilling to throw away; or have taken away?

[Silence]

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (11.5-11.8)

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Chapter 11: Wisdom. Ashtavakra said:

[11.5] “One who has realized that only by caring is misery caused in the world becomes free, happy, serene, desireless.”

This one caused some controversy, isn’t it? …, in the contemplation when I put these words. ‘One who has realized that only by caring is misery caused in the world’ … what does it mean? Caring in the sense of identifying, of attachment. Only by attaching and saying ‘I have to do something about this’ or ‘This should not happen’ or ‘It should happen this way’. So, it is only with this belief in the mind, only with the resistance to ‘what is’ does misery seemingly get caused in our life. Without a label, without an interpretation, everything is just ‘what is’. Completely neutral. Just an appearance. When we stand in resistance to that appearance or we want to hold on to an appearance completely, that is when misery comes.

You see a beautiful rose, it’s a beautiful appearance. Then the mind comes and says ‘Okay, my full garden should only have these kind of roses’. Then for the next ten years, we keep planting roses and the same type of rose might never appear. It is so much misery. God is laying out this buffet for us to enjoy, to taste. We resist when we say ‘It should be like this’ or ‘should not be like this’. To believe a thought is to resist. Because all thoughts are in resistance to ‘what is’. To let go of the mind is to remain open.

So, caring here does not imply that compassion should not arise. Grief can arise, compassion can arise; all the natural functioning of this realm can happen. But when it is done with a sense of attachment (‘I know how things should be’) when it is done with this idea then life keeps proving to us over and over again…, what is that joke? ‘If you want to make God laugh, tell him you have a plan.’ So, any time we buy a thought, we tell God that we have a plan.

So, one who is free from these ideas of how life should be or should not be (we hand over our existence to existence, as Guruji [Mooji] says) then you find that in the play, the play itself becomes full of happiness, serenity and freedom.

[11.6] “I am not the body, nor is the body my possession; I am Awareness itself. One who realizes this for certain has no memory of things done or left undone. This is only the Absolute.”

I am not the body. This must be supremely clear by now. And the Sages have said there are various ways for us to see this. One had asked ‘Can it be?’ Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had said that ‘Can it be that you are only what you have eaten? Is that all you are?’ This food and drink you have consumed is what this body is made up of. So are you only that?

[Nisargadatta] Maharaj had said ‘Where were you before you were conceived? Where will you go after this body has gone?’

Who is it that says ‘my’ body? You say ‘My body is feeling tired today’. Who is that owner of the body?

So, this is the second part of the fallacy. And I have often said that the trouble is this presumed owner of this body, the identity that says ‘This body is my possession’. It is the same person who says ‘The money in the bank is my possession, my job is my possession, my house is my possession, my children are my possession’. The same one says ‘This body is my possession’. But we cannot find this one. Can we find that one that says ‘Relationships, money, job, wife, children, house, all of these are my possessions’? Who is this one?

So, the Sage says “I am not the body, nor is the body my possession; I am Awareness itself”. The Supreme Witness, the Solitary Witness of all that appears; not just this body.

Why is it that we get convinced that this body is ‘my’ body? For two reasons. One is that the seeming sensations that seems so intimate to us (like pain) they seem to be within this body. The second is that the visual perspective of this realm seems to be as if it is enclosed coming from behind this head, behind these eyes, and it is viewed in this way. So, because the visual is coming like this, that’s why it can seem like ‘I must be something which is enclosed inside the head’. Most of humanity carries this idea. Even if they say ‘I am the soul’ it’s as if the soul was inside the body. Then why can’t a surgeon find it? If it is physical in that way, if it is phenomenal in that way, even if it is energetic in some way then we should have some devices which can find the energetic residence of the soul within the body. But it is not like that.

Then when we come to the truer understanding, we start to see that (in the waking state) the presence of my Being is here and everything I experience is experienced within this Being, within Myself. All my perceptions, where are they being experienced? Within this Being. All sensations, thoughts, memory, imagination is within the same space of Being. All is within Me. When we say ‘Me’ now we are talking about within this space of [Me-as-] Consciousness. Even space is within this space of Consciousness, even time is within this space of Consciousness. It is not a 3-dimensional space; as the mind might be giving you a visual of some 3-dimensaional space. It is beyond space and time in that way.

The Sage is saying ‘Not even this. I am that which witnesses even this. I am Awareness Itself’. Now once we see this to be our Truth, the self-realization of this non-phenomenal truth, then if you find that your predominant existence is this non-phenomenal Truth, then what is there for you to do in this phenomenal realm? What can you do here that will make a difference to Awareness?

That is why the Sage Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said ‘As long as there is this sense that I am an individual, I am a doer, as long as there is a sense that I have some choice, until then keep doing the inquiry’.

There will come a point where you see that all of this was a part of the play; all of this was moving through Consciousness through Grace itself. This must be our authentic living experience. It must not just be taken as a concept. There must be no doer. Because very often it can be that we continue to pick up the false doer identity for everything in life…, except when it comes to the inquiry. And we say ‘No, no, I don’t need to inquire because I am not the doer’. But for everything else (pride, guilt) everything still continues. So, we have thrown away the stick that is going to light the funeral pyre before we have lit it. We have thrown away the thorn which will remove the other thorns, before we have removed the other thorns.

So in this play some of this also happens. Misunderstandings, confusion are all a part of the One play for Consciousness, experiencing Itself without redundancies in every Being in a unique way. That is why can also drop this question, ‘If it worked for him like that, why doesn’t it work for me?’ or ‘If it worked for her like that, why not for me?’ or ‘If  he went in the hot seat once and sat in front of his Master and just exploded, why can’t it happen for me?’ Because everything is functioning in its own unique way. Every fingerprint is different. Just to see something like an eye-retina scan; every very eye retina is different. Just to see things like that gives us evidence that Consciousness is experiencing Itself uniquely. It does not like redundancies. [Chuckles] So, everything is a unique expression of the One Consciousness.

And we were looking at this and it was a bit subtle that day. If that which is colorless, really transparent, whiter than white, now experiences itself as a set of colors and it separates itself into this and yet it still remains whole, you will find that every part of the spectrum is different. If you look at the color spectrum…, if you move even one millimeter you find the taste of a different color in the spectrum. It might be slightly different but still it is different.

So, ‘One who realizes this for certain has no memory of things done or left undone’. Means what? Has no concern about doership, has no concern about [any of this]. Awareness is not really concerned about the activities that happen in this realm. And as we discussed earlier, it doesn’t mean you have to become active or passive. It only means that whatever is going to happen is going to happen anyway, through the will of Consciousness. Our true position is That which is the Solitary Witness of this.

[11.7] “From Brahma to the last blade of grass; I alone exist. One who knows this for certain becomes immaculate, serene, unconflicted. Attainment has no meaning.”

Now what does this mean ‘From Brahman to the last blade of grass’. Brahma is that aspect of Consciousness, which is the creative aspect. We say that the light of ‘I Am’ comes on and then the world appears. So, that which is the creative aspect of this Consciousness, ‘I Am-ness’ is called Brahma. The Creator itself is ‘I’. And to the last blade of grass that the Creator seemingly-creates is also ‘I’ because all is fundamentally still made up of Awareness. Consciousness is made up of Awareness alone. It is ‘I’ Am. The finger is still the hand, although it appears as the finger. So from this aspect of Consciousness (which is the Creator itself) to the last blade of grass (which is the minutest creation) ‘I Am’. It is ‘I’ that is the Truth.

‘From Brahma to the last blade of grass; I alone exist. One who knows this for certain becomes immaculate, serene, unconflicted.’

So, if we know this for certain mentally, we do not become serene and unconflicted. As much as we deny it mentally, as much as we struggle to prove to ourselves, there will be suffering, there will be conflict. Only when it becomes our direct living experience (which is beyond mental concept)…, which is in checking ‘Who is Aware of Awareness?’ and ‘Am I Aware now? and ‘Who is this One that is Aware?’ To come to this direct tasting of the Self…, it is those that remain serene, immaculate and unconflicted.

Here attainment has no meaning. If I am Brahma and I am the blade of grass also (the Creator and everything that has been created) then what is there for me to get?

Yesterday we put up another set of verses from the Adi Shankaracharya which was very much like that Hindi song ‘Yeh duniya agar mil bhi jaye to kya hai’ [translation] ‘That if I was to get this whole world, this whole Universe, so what?’ So, the verses started [Referring to the verses from Adi Shankaracharya] and I was a bit lazy. I should have said that actually the accurate translation is not ‘What if…’ it is ‘So what if I was to get this, so what if I was to get that, if I had this, if I had that…’ And something here (even when I was younger) I started to see like this that ‘What is it that we really need?’ Even when the idea of person was there strongly; it was ‘Okay, what do I really need?  Maybe a clean set of clothes to wear, I need a comfortable bed to sleep on, I need meals at regular interval, some entertainment once in a while; that’s it!’ Can we really experience much more than that? Even our tools of experiencing, these senses, have limitations. The best food, how long can we eat? The best music, how long can we hear? And something like ‘Okay, but yesterday the same song was sounding so sublime but I heard it the whole day and today I don’t want to hear it’. The same rasgulla was tasting so good but I had 20 of them and today I don’t want to touch a rasgulla ever again. Because why? Because our ability to experience is through these phenomenal senses; and everything in this phenomenal world has limitations.

So, we find (even phenomenally speaking) that there is not so much difference (depending on what kind of material existence I have but) once we see that ‘I am beyond phenomenon’ then what kind of material attainment could be of interest? It could only be a part of the play.

And these pointing they work either way. So, once we see this, that ‘I am Awareness and therefore I am unattached to any outcome in this world’ or we hear Sri Krishna talk in the Bhagvad Gita saying ‘Let the action happen. Don’t be attached to the fruits of the action’…, even this pointing to not be attached to the outcome of action (which is called karma yoga) leads to the same recognition ultimately; that ‘I am Awareness’ and therefore unattached.

So we can go this way from the recognition, to how the functioning in the phenomenal realm changes. Or we can go this way, which is to follow with faith and devotion the words of the Masters and make those changes in our worldly phenomenal life. And then come to this Seeing that ‘Oh, I am not phenomenal at all. I am this absolute Self. And it was only Grace that made me follow the words of these beautiful Masters’.

The last verse of Chapter 11:

[11.8] “One who knows for certain that this manifold and wonderful universe is nothing becomes desire-less Awareness and abides in the stillness of No-thing.”

Maybe I got attracted to this translation because when I read the verses of this translation it feels like it is the same texture as in the satsang that we share here. Even in the ‘no-thing’ also he said ‘no’ hyphen ‘thing’.

‘One who knows for certain that this manifold and wonderful universe is nothing becomes desire-less Awareness and abides in the stillness of No-thing.’ This is what I was saying, that one: we can come to this recognition by using inquiry tools (like ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Am I Aware now?’ and ‘Who is Awareness?’) to come to this recognition that I Am This. Or even if we start to see the un-reality, the ephemeral nature of this realm, the ever-changing nature of this realm and to deprive meaning from that which is changing, to not give belief to thoughts about that which is changing, you will come to see that I Am This One Awareness.

So, our recognition of the Truth helps us let go of our thoughts; and the letting go of our thoughts helps us to come to the recognition of the Truth. This is what I call the virtuous circle (as opposed to the vicious circle where we believe a thought, then that leads to another hundred thoughts, and one branch of the identity can lead to another hundred branches of identity, which is then the vicious circle of identity).

The good news is that the Now is your best friend. Right Now you are free from identity.., unless you tug at the branches of identity, unless you start giving belief to a concept.

You cannot even tell me what your conditioning is without first believing your thought.

You cannot tell me how you are suffering without first believing a thought.

You cannot tell me the story of the life of non-existent ego without believing a thought.

You cannot tell me whether you are free or bound without believing a thought.

It is this thought, belief in this thought, which is the root of all this drama of separation, this delusion of separation.

Thought is at the root of desire: ‘What is in it for me? What is in it for me?’

Thought is at the root of doership: ‘What should I do? Why did I do this? Why did he do this to me?’

Thought is at the root of duality: ‘Me and another, me and my life, my family, my world’ (which is already the voice of separation).

So it is ‘thought’ which is at the root of misery.

So ‘One who knows for certain that this manifold and wonderful universe is nothing becomes desire-less Awareness and abides in the stillness of No-thing’. That which is aware even of our existence, That Itself is not a thing, It is not an entity, It is not even the virat form (the glorious aspect) of Consciousness. It is prior to Consciousness, before ‘I Am’.

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (11.4)

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Chapter 11: Wisdom. Ashtavakra said:

[11.4] “One who knows for certain that birth and death, happiness and misery, come and go in obedience to destiny sees nothing to accomplish. He engages in non-action, and in action remains unattached.”

So, birth and death Happiness and misery, they all come and go in obedience to Consciousness’. We see this, don’t we? None of us can say ‘Oh, I decided to be born. I decided when I was going to be born’. You cannot say this as a person anyway. Only as the Supreme can we say ‘I decided to have this human experience’. And most who have not come face to face with the Truth cannot say that ‘Death was a decision that was taken by me. It was my own doing’. Something deeper, when It is done with the experiencing of this realm, dissolves Itself into Its Source.

And we see this every day. When the urge for experiencing is done (no matter what experience might be available) when the deeper feeling is to go beyond this experience, then sleep comes. And in deep sleep is the dissolution of this universe. In the same way, ‘birth and death, happiness and misery, come and go in obedience to destiny’.

If I ask all of you, mentally you will be able to tell me five ways in which you will be happy. You’ll say ‘To be happy, all I need to do is this, this, this…’ You’ll say ‘I just need to remain in the present moment, I just need to think happy thoughts, I just need to…’ (whatever). You’ll have a list of five things. But then, why aren’t you? If you already know that these are the ways to be happy, why doesn’t it happen that way? Because it is not about coming up with a mental resolution. It is the design of this play that as long as we are believing ourself to be this ego, we’re believing ourself to be this non-existent phantom, then this roller-coaster of ups and downs, happiness and misery will continue. And some are able to see this roller-coaster and this urge comes within them that ‘I want out of this merry-go-round! What is the Truth?’

Like this young child, Nachiketa, whose Father was upset with him. And when Nachiketa asked his Father ‘So, who will you give me to?’ The Father said ‘I give you to death’ because he was just upset with him, annoyed with him. So then the lord of death actually came. There is a story from the Katha Upanishad called ‘A Dialogue of Death’. So, the god of death comes and Nachiketa, this young boy, asks him ‘Tell the secret to the eternal Truth’. And Yama, the god of death, says ‘No, you’re too young for this. Let me offer you a kingdom, the best consorts and the best of everything that life has to offer’. So, then Nachiketa said ‘But will these last forever?’ And the god of death says ‘No. I will take all of them. All of these are subject to death. All that is created will be destroyed’. So then, Nachiketa says ‘I don’t want any of that. Tell me only that which is the eternal Truth’. And then the Katha, the opening of the Upanishad starts. The lord of death gives him the same pointings that I have shared with you in satsang, that have been shared by Sages throughout time.

So, there are some who will see the fallacy of this trying to cling to happiness and trying to run from misery. And their prayer will be to find that which is eternal. And there are others that when there is very strong misery that comes, they’re looking for solutions to this misery, to this suffering. So, the true spiritual seekers are usually of these two types. One, that have seen this play and have this intense urge to find the Truth which is eternal. And others who are in the throes of such strong suffering that they become open-minded to hear the Truth.

‘One who knows for certain that birth and death, happiness and misery, come and go in obedience to destiny sees nothing to accomplish.’ If death is going to come, what can we take with us, take along with us through this gate of death? So, whatever we might acquire in this material realm, how long will it last? We don’t even know whether it will remain till tomorrow. Who knows if we will really wake up in this same realm tomorrow in the first place?

So, this one, ‘He engages in non-action and in action remains unattached’. So, what is he saying? Because this is another point which gets misunderstood. What is being said? Whether action or inaction is happening, he remains unaffected, untouched by it. There’s not a preference for either, but only that attachment doesn’t happen. So, just like this hand is moving but there is no idea that ‘Okay, it should go this way or that way’. You see? It is just moving on its own. We are unattached. Our eyes are just blinking and we are not attached to how often they are blinking or not. Just like this, all is happening. Our heart is beating. Just in the same way, in the life of a Sage, when actions happen or inaction can happen, there is no attachment or aversion to either. So, ‘He engages in non-action and in action remains unattached’.

Now, there is another point to be made here, which is that our conditioning (in these times especially) has been so much to do with ‘Do, do, do, make something out of yourself, become something, become somebody’. This beautiful ability (I would call it actually) to just sit [Silence] quietly with nothing, just being…, (not meditating, not chanting, not praying, not sleeping, not anything) just existing [has been lost]. What has happened is that this has become the age of boredom. Even with my children, if for two minutes they’re just sitting with nothing to do, they say ‘I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored’. And this boredom becomes such a strong momentum for doership. ‘I want to do something. I want to experience more and more and more’.

So, one of the qualities of the Sage is that this momentum of doership, this discontentment with ‘what is’ in the present moment is not there. There is no attachment to doership. If there is something to be done, it can be done (or not done). And there is full contentment with just ‘what is’…, which could mean the actions happening through the body (or no action happening through the body). But the concept of boredom starts to seem more and more alien. There is no longer an urge to try and create your next experience. There is more trust in Consciousness that whatever Consciousness will bring in the next scene of the movie will be exactly what is needed in this movie, in this play.

Reading and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita (11.1-11.3)

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Chapter 11: Wisdom. Ashtavakra said:

[11.1] “Existence, non-existence, change; this is the nature of things. Realizing this, stillness, serenity and bliss naturally follow.”

So, from which perspective can we say this? ‘Existence and non-existence’ because everything that seems to happen (all that is phenomenal, changing) seems to happen within this realm of existence. So, there must be something prior to that which can say ‘Existence and non-existence’. What can we say about our non-existence?

More and more, we need to look at that aspect of it. The backdrop of existence is what is being pointed at here in satsang. Otherwise, we will remain in these objects of existence, in our engagement of these objects of existence; which is not to be free from them, which is not liberation, which is not moksha. Moksha is to be able to step back from this entire realm of existence, instead of living as if this existence is all there is. Existence is all there is phenomenally, but is there something which is beyond phenomena, beyond this realm of existence?

He says ‘Existence, non-existence, change; this is the nature of things’. So in the realm of existence itself, everything is constantly changing. This is very important for us to see, because this is the cause of all sorrow, all suffering. We get attached to something which is constantly changing. If you not attached to anything in this phenomenal realm, could we suffer? If we were not identified with an object, with something (whether it’s partner, whether it’s family, whether it’s this body itself, whether it is some other form of material success, whether it is something for this phenomenal existence, phenomenal appearance of this body/mind)…, all of this is what is making us suffer. But if we were to leave this aside…, and even to say ‘Leave this aside’ implies that there is something beyond this. Isn’t it? If it is only restricted to this, then why would the Sages have said ‘Okay, leave it aside; keep it aside for some time’. If it is all there is, then how to keep it aside? You cannot keep it aside.

What does it mean?

Q: The Witness.

A: Yes, so who is it that is witnessing this phenomenal world? Who is aware of your existence, right now? Is that changing?

So, once we get used to this stillness, this unchanging…, once it is seen that ‘Existence, non-existence, change’ then ‘Realizing this, stillness, serenity and bliss naturally follow’. Because we are going to That which is unmoving, unchanging, completely serene. In the waking state, it is like touching the bliss of sleep; That which witnesses this existing, not existing and the entire realm of change. If we See that the entire realm of existence becomes non-existent and then exists again; and within this realm of existence, change is constant, then it becomes clear that this is not what I want now; that I’m looking for the Truth, I’m looking for something which is constant, unchanging. And the pointing is to follow That which witnesses all that can change. And you find that it is I, this unchanging Awareness, attribute-less, beyond the concept of any movement, completely still. This is the point at which you will resolve yourself, you will resolve the mystery of yourself.

You will not resolve it within the realm of change. It might be that we do some preparatory work within this realm of change, for us to be able to contemplate this point: That which is aware even of existence and non-existence. We find that it is beyond all identity, beyond all desires and aversions, beyond all sense of movement. That’s why the Sage says ‘Realizing this, stillness, serenity and bliss naturally follow’.

[11.2] “One who knows for certain that ‘Self creates All and is alone’ becomes still, desireless, unattached.”

‘One who knows for certain’…, means what? It doesn’t mean a mental knowing, because no actual mental knowing really is to know for certain. It is only a collection of concepts and concepts are inherently dispute-able, debate-able. And that is why it can seem like there is no certainty to be found in the realm of mental and intellectual knowledge. So, the certainty that the Sage is talking about is to See this as a living experience, as a direct experience.

‘The Self creates All’. To See this is to See that when we are asleep, there is nothing; there is nothing at all. There is only an awareness that there is nothing. So, the Self does not go, but this Self is not phenomenal. That is why we call It the ‘No-thing’. So, this No-thing remains. Then, what happens when we wake up? There is a sense of existence, ‘I Am’ that awakens. But where does this come from? Did it come from outside? But there was no outside. There was no inside or outside. Therefore, what must this Consciousness, this sense of existence, ‘I Am’ be made up of? It must been Seen then that this sense of existence must be made up on what is here, which is this simple Awareness, non-phenomenal Truth, which now exhibits Itself as the primordial vibration ‘I Am’ or ‘Om’ or Atma, Beingness, Consciousness (whatever term we use for it). [Silence] This Being, this Consciousness emerges, which is your own Presence. And the birth of this Presence, within the screen of this Presence, using the light of Its own Presence, this entire play of light and sound is created.

Therefore, no separation has ever happened. Everything which is experienced is experienced within You. And attention is only moving inside of You. Separation is a trick of the mind. The interpreting mind, the labeling mind looks at this One appearance and interprets it as separate; creates duality where there is none by interpreting, judging and labeling. Even now, you cannot do it; you cannot presume a sense of separation unless you label something as separate; unless you label something as anything (even your own emotions, even your own sensations). Unless we call them something, they are just a part of this One un-differentiated appearance. There are no two.

We already saw that this entire play, this entire realm of appearance is made up of this non-phenomenal Self; the non-phenomenal reality of the Self playing as Its dynamic aspect as Consciousness. And then playing the game of pretend-separation by giving belief to this mind. That is all that is happening. And once you See this to be true, that it is the Self, the One Self, that creates all and there is nobody else, then we become the recognition of the Truth which is naturally followed by the stillness, the peace that we are looking for.

[11.3] “One who knows for certain that adversity and success come and go in obedience to destiny becomes content. He neither desires nor grieves.”

What is the meaning of ‘destiny’? Very simply put, destiny implies the will of God; the will of Consciousness. So, very often the term ‘pre-destined’ is confused to imply that something is ‘pre-written’…., some script is there which is being followed. But the simpler explanation is to See that ‘pre-ordained’ or ‘pre-destine’ implies that all is the will of God. It is prior to any superfluous idea of control we might has as seeming-individuals. That is the truer definition. That which is the creator of time cannot be subject to time, and therefore the concept of pre-destiny in terms of time does not apply. It only means that all is the will of Consciousness. Consciousness is playing the movie on the screen of Itself as It sees fit. There is nothing that the non-existent person can do about it.

When we say it like this, it seems so obvious. That which does not exist…, that cannot be the doer. Isn’t it? Only That which IS, which is God Himself, Consciousness Itself, is a creator, enjoyer, preserver and dissolver of this realm. And who is this One? It is Your own dynamic aspect.

So, if upon hearing this there is a sense of powerlessness, then know that you are confusing yourself to be something that you are not. Upon hearing this, if there is a sense of powerfulness, then also know that you’re considering yourself to be something that you are not. Consciousness is functioning in this very natural way. The creation and dissolution of this universe is a very natural functioning of this Consciousness.

So, ‘One that knows for certain that adversity come and go’. Sometimes in the play, it can seem like thousands of obstacles and sometimes it feels like ‘We just started, and it is done’. Both of these happen. And the mind uses these things to create guilt or pride, unworthiness or arrogance. Both of these are fallacies. Because all is happening only in obedience to the will of God. And once this is Seen, then that is that beautiful surrender ‘Oh, God, let thy will be done’. [Silence] ‘Oh, Ram, whichever way you want to keep this body/mind is Your problem’. ‘Oh, Master, Satguru, whatever has to happen in this life is Your will. And not only are You the doer, but You are also the one experiencer, as Consciousness’.

Therefore, what does any of this have to do with the person that I’m presuming myself to be? Nothing at all. Because this ‘person’ can neither do nor experience. To see this is very important because otherwise we keep falling into this trap that ‘God is the doer but I am an individual experiencer, and why is God doing this to me? When will God make my life better? When will He change things?’ All of these are just ideas of the non-existent one.

A: These days, more what is happening with you when you come to satsang you come with your own curriculum. You say ‘Today I will come and I will burn…’ [Indicates carrying a bundle]  So, you don’t come with a sense that ‘I will come and I will just give myself over to him’. That is where you are independent. You are trying to come with our own ideas of ‘what I will do in satsang’. So, today you can say ‘Okay I will come and burn today’. But I am saying something: ‘You hand it over to me. See how that is working for you’.

We are making this inner mind (this mind) we are making that a guru then. While you are saying that ‘You are my Master, you are my Master’ actually when we come into satsang with our own plan, that ‘This is what has to happen today. This is how I am going to burn, and this is what I have decided’. That is not surrender. Then you are trying to be your own Master; the mind is the Master. So, instead of that, if you see that what is being pointed here is for this. Sometimes the mind will come and say ‘No, no, but that is for everybody else. I have to go in my own process here. I have my own process’. But all of this is for you; there is nobody else. All of this is appearing in Your play. If it is appearing for You, it is the voice of Your intuition which is appearing like this.

What is the Master? The Master is just a projection of our own inner Satguru. But the mind wants to become that. Your mind will say ‘Okay, he is saying…, but that must be for everyone else. You must burn in your own process’. But who is saying all that? All this show is for You.

I have noticed that is happening for some of you, where it can just feel like ‘Okay, he is just talking and it doesn’t really apply to me because my problem actually is this’. But it is all for you. Everything here is pointing to Your direct Self, to Your direct recognition. Not one part of this is for someone else. We are not speaking specifically (mostly). But something says ‘No, no, I know what I am doing, I have to do this, and this has to burn, and this has to go’. But who is the Master then?

I feel like I am making all this beautiful lunch and dessert and everything for you and you are coming and eating from your own lunchbox. (Not just you. I’m sharing for all of you.) There is no point. It is all your feast. Enjoy this. It is pointing to the reality of who You are (no matter what the mind says).

Q: [Inaudible]

I feel all of us must be able to look at this now. We must be able to look at these tricks from the mind. What have I ever done to any of you? This Ananta is the receiving end of anger lots of times, but I look at it objectively and say ‘What have I ever done except treat everyone in love and affection and open my house to everyone for hours and hours every day?’ But we keep falling for this trick: ‘Maybe he is trying to fool me, maybe it is not happening, maybe… (something, something)’.  And this poor chap keeps getting… [Laughter] I am looking really objectively sometimes and I say ‘What is it really about?’ And we must be able to spot this for ourselves now. ‘What has he really done? What has Ananta done to you?’

Q: [Inaudible] Sometimes it comes, this anger, it comes. [Inaudible]

A: Anger can come, but we attach to it, you see? We attach to it. You know what this anger wants to do? One day (when I just started sharing satsang) Guruji [Mooji] was there. We were in Rishikesh and Guruji was there and he was sharing with someone, making this quote where he said ‘One day you will either come to the truth of what is being shared, or you will turn against me with great viciousness’. He was sharing like that. And just sharing had just started from here, and it just felt like ‘Oh, my children they will never become vicious towards me’. And then it started happening [Chuckles] and I realized that it’s true. Why does it happen? Because something wants to take this on independently as ‘something’ and then it will find every single reason to be upset, to be angry, to find resentment and grievances against that which we call the Master.

It can feel like ‘No, no, I can do this by myself”. So, this turning to viciousness, I realized that happens very often actually. And I still get surprised when it happens actually. I should stop being surprised because there is nothing that Ananta has really done which has been vindictive or something, where I have been in anyway unfair (as far as I can see) to anyone in the sangha. Like I’ve said ‘He is generally a very nice guy’. So, if you were to just look objectively, I don’t see why he has to bear the brunt of all of this anger and resentment. But I know that this is the nature of the mind which will come and say ‘But, but he is like this, or he is like this; but he says to do this’. Like many times, it will be like someone says ‘But you tell me not to make money’. But when have I said not to make money? Many times some of you will come to me with some request to give some advice (‘Should I do this, or should I do that?’) and some advice which feels right will come from here. But I have never said I am some expert on how to run your life phenomenally. I am only pointing to your non-phenomenal truth and existence. And yet I trust the intuitive Presence which speaks from here to say ‘Okay, maybe to do this will be better; maybe better to do that will be better’. But I find that usually mind makes use of this kind of thing and says ‘Okay, he told me to do that; he told me’. It is not like that at all.

Q: [Inaudible] (Once he asked her to leave the room for a time due to bad coughing that would not stop.)

A: The fear of letting go of everything, yes. The mind is like this, you see. The mind will not say that ‘All this noise has been happening for months and things like that. Look at how nice he is. He has never told me anytime to go’. No, mind will say ‘See, he is rejecting me, he told me to leave’. And what did I say? That day I was just feeling like ‘Oh, it is getting in the way of the words, because the volume was not increasing from here, and it just felt like ‘For a while, while this is happening, can you just step out for a while?’ The mind can use this, you see. I can say ‘I love you’ a million times but if in anger one time I were to say ‘Okay, I really hate you’ what will the mind remember? ‘Oh, he really must hate me’. It does not remember the million times I say I love you.

Q: [Inaudible]

A: I want to make an important point to all of you which is that none of this is meant to make you feel guilty. Just go on a one-way fast from this ‘I’…., the ‘I’ that disappoints everyone, the ‘I’ that is feeling this, the ‘I’ that is feeling that. You leave that ‘I’.

Q: Tension.

A: Yes, but you witness the tension. The body is not you. The tension (sensations which are experienced in the body) is not You. It can pull all your attention. It can pull all your attention and that way; it can feel like it is You but (even then) That which witness it is not being choked in any way. This is what Your own intuitive voice is saying. It is not an outside external person in a fight with your mind. It is your own intuitive Presence which is telling you ‘Look beyond that, look beyond. What is there? What is the space in which all of this is happening? Is that space also being choked? And if that space is not being choked, then how is the Witness of that space being choked?’

Q: [Inaudible]

A: Yes, but now you trust one voice, which is the voice which is coming in satsang from here. [Ananta] Let every other voice say whatever it wants. You say [to your thoughts] ‘You take it up with Ananta’. If the voice is saying ‘You will never be free of me’ [you say] ‘Okay, not my problem. It is my Master’s problem’. That is surrender.

Whatever the mind is saying, whatever the energy is saying, whatever sensations are doing, let it all be my problem. I am happy to take it. If you make it my problem, then it becomes a problem for me. If you let all your problems be my problems, then I am happy. If you make them your problems, then you make it a problem for me.

Q: [Inaudible]

I am saying I want that gift. You say ‘No, no’. You give all your garbage to me. You give the misery to me, all the garbage to me; then you will give only the good things to everyone. But when you say ‘Okay, I will keep my garbage and I will give him only the good things’ then you are giving everyone this garbage.

You give all of it to me! Then everyone will find only good things from you.

If the hearing of Satsang is important, it is a million times more important to contemplate that which is being spoken. And a million times more important than even that is to have the direct experience of what is being shared.

If it is only being heard and it is not being recognized as our direct experience then we can go on like this for thousands of lifetimes, over and over; and that Freedom, that Moksha that we are looking for will still be elusive.

First we have to stop being in denial about where we are. If we are still attached to things in this realm, if we still find that these are real and meaningful, then we must stop fooling ourselves; we must admit that ‘This is where I am.’

We must contemplate on:

What here is actually lasting?

Which outer object will last forever, is eternal?

How long will this body last?

These thoughts, these ideas, these beliefs are fleeting. All of it is fleeting. It is coming and going. And if we know that it is going, then is it not foolishness to attach to these?

We must be able to distinguish the real from the unreal.

What is real? That which is eternal, that which is found to be permanent, unchanging.

What is unreal? That which changes, that which comes and goes and therefore inherently unreliable.

So, if we continue to be attached to that which is inherently unreliable, what will be our fate? There’s too much attachment to objects of desire, too much attachment to this body, too much attachment to our ideas, our individuality. And unless we are able to throw them away in the dust-bin, we can keep fooling ourselves that we are doing Advaita but actually we are not getting anywhere at all. It is about time we stopped fooling ourselves.

As we are undertaking this inner journey, if we keep holding onto these outer appearances it will become one big tug of war and it will seem like it is dragging on forever. Therefore, whatever it takes, first come to this clarity about what is real and what is unreal. See the world for what it is, see this body for what it is, see your thoughts for what they are. Look at the functioning of your intellect. Find out if any of this will last.

How long will you be this person?

What is the duration of this play?

And how long will you play even with this identity of being an Advaita seeker?

Let go of all the meaning you have given to things in this world. Then let’s talk about the reality of who You are.

The question was: ‘When will the vasanas [latent tendencies] get over? All our vasanas, when will they get over?’

They will only get over Right Now. Right Now there is no vasana.

How to bring the entire tree of vasanas back, the entire karmic kosha, the entire tree of conditioning back? All it needs is one tug into one concept. One pull into one concept seems to bring this entire tree of conditioning back. And yet you will find that as we have remained still, as we have allowed these thoughts to come and go, this tree seems to be depleting more and more. And it is inevitable in satsang for this tree of conditioning to dissolve, to diminish; unless we are now creating new branches of spiritual knowledge. If you are creating new concepts that we are believing ourself, which are spiritual in nature, then the tree might actually be getting larger. The spiritual ego might be the biggest tree that anyone can acquire. So, it is about the strength of the concepts which are now being believed.

So, what is the way to be free of this tree of conditioning? We can be free Right Now. Allow everything to come and go, then we see that the tree is just not here. There are these offers to plant the tree again. We get these pamphlets from the mind saying ‘Yes, this is going to be a wonderful tree, buy this one’. And we purchase one thought and it seems like the tree is back. That is all that is happening. As belief is getting withdrawn, this tree is getting depleted. As belief is given again, it seems like it is reappearing.

Now, this for some, can seem like it is a ‘catch-22’ because you might still feel that ‘Belief is going automatically therefore there is no way out of it’. Now, for these ones, first you must identify ‘Which are the branches which I end up believing concepts about; most frequently, or they cause the most suffering?’ And you will quickly be able to identify the one or two main identities which are in play. Now, as we identify the identities which are in play or which still seem to get us the most suffering, get us the most belief, then we enquire into that particular identity.

So, if you say that ‘It is the spiritual seeker identity’ (for example) that causes the most suffering, then we pull that into our inquiry and say ‘Who is it that wants freedom?’

Now, for many of us what has happened is that our inquiry has been made quite muddy by mixing it with the mind. So, as soon as you ask this question ‘Who is it that wants freedom?’ the mind itself will come with a response saying ‘Yeah, Yeah, I know; nobody actually/ I have looked at this a million times it doesn’t really help right now’. You see? All this commentary starts.

So, my invitation to you is to just look completely fresh, as fresh as possible: who is it that wants freedom? Look with integrity. Don’t fall for any conclusion too quickly. Who is here that wants freedom? And allow this question to clean up the conditioning.

This question is the most beautiful thorn you can use to remove the thorns of conditioning. And as you pull these identities into our inquiry, you will find that it becomes lighter; this branch also becomes lighter. Then when the same thought comes ‘Yes, you are not finding your freedom yet’ or something like this, you will just let it go, or you can laugh at it (it’s the same thing).

So, it is a virtuous cycle that is happening. As you are letting go of your next thought, the tree of conditioning is depleting; and as you are looking at the branches of the tree and inquiring into them, the seeming-magnetism of the next thought seems to also be reducing.

So, allow yourself to fall into this virtuous cycle and to be a little bit vigilant about coming to any mental conclusions about freedom or mental confusions about who you are; because that is just perpetuating again the branch of conditioning.

This is the virtuous cycle, the virtuous cycle of letting go…, and letting go of our karmic tendencies, vasanas or conditioning (whatever you might call it). Just remain free from belief in thought and you will find that this tree of conditioning is depleting at a super-quick rate.

And be vigilant towards the vicious cycle of buying a concept and then falling for the mind trap saying ‘Yes, yes, I have got it now. I am right. It is done’. It cannot be a mental conclusion. And that way, without realizing it, you will find that the spiritual tree of conditioning seems to have flourished.

That is why what [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said about integrity is really important: If there is suffering, know that there is a concept being believed in. Don’t hide behind any Advaita then. Look at that identity and ask yourself ‘Who is that?’ or just ask yourself ‘Who am I?’ It is like working on the roots of the tree itself.

So, simple, isn’t it? Now the mind is in a trap; it cannot escape. [Chuckles] If the thought comes and goes, then it has had no power. When it comes and it gets belief, we use that for our inquiry (which itself weakens the tendency of the mind). So, if this is done with sincerity and integrity, then the mind will become milder and milder, lighter and lighter. And it will seem like so much trouble to try and suffer. Just like it can seem like a struggle to come to the end of suffering, it will seem like a struggle to try and suffer.

It is a lie that some appearance causes trouble. No appearance can actually touch us. It does not really touch what we are.

I have been asking some of you recently:

How is it that something outside, appearing there [gesturing outwardly] can actually touch the reality of who we are?

What is the medium through which it could attack Me, the [true] ‘I’?

Is there some way in which that which appears can attack the reality of who we Are?

Can you see this now?

Can we check at least outside the body and see that the dance of another, or the dance of the world in front of us cannot really hurt what truly is?

How can something appearing there, moving there [gesturing outwardly], hurt the reality of who we Are?

And yet something seems to get hurt. Now something seems to get hurt; why? If you have no concept about it, is it possible for something to get hurt based on something appearing seemingly-outside? Is it possible to suffer? When I am saying ‘get hurt’ I am not talking about the momentary reaction; but if you don’t have a concept or a label or an idea about how something should be, then the appearance is just appearing and there is no way that an appearance can hurt the Self. It can only hurt a concept that we have about ourself. These are called attachments. Momentarily something can catch your attention, but unless you have a concept that ‘Okay, nothing should move over there’ then there can be no suffering because of it.

So, what we are speaking of is very practical actually. It is not theory. We can check this now; anything appearing in front of us. How is it that a random stranger can come and speak some words (energetically the same sort of movement is happening) but another close relationship (as we have defined or labeled it) if that one speaks some words, that makes a big difference. Energetically the movement is similar but there is a concept that ‘This one should not behave like this with me’ or ‘He or she should not say this to me’. This idea of what the relationship ‘should be like’ makes the difference. If this idea is not there, then it would be the same; whatever this one says, or this one says, or this one says, or this one says [pointing to members in the group] it should make no difference.

A: ‘What makes the difference?’ is the question. That’s exactly is the question, isn’t it? ‘What is the difference between me and a stranger?”

Q: [Inaudible]

A: No you can’t hide behind that; then there is no point coming here. All of humanity is suffering; what is the point of satsang? That is how you humans are, humans are this way, most of humanity is not coming to satsang. But why are you here?

Q: No matter what it is it, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t hurt because there is no connection, there is no deeper connection there. But if you tell me something and there is such a deeper connection with you and there is such a strong love with you that if you tell me something then it could trigger a strong intense pain, intense hurt.

A: So that which we call ‘love’, what does it mean? Does love lead to freedom, or does love lead to constriction?

Q:  That I don’t know but…

The purpose of the question is for you to look. If I was to just grab you with what you already knew then it would serve no purpose. The purpose of asking is so that you can shine your light on this question and see. So, I see that I love someone; does that mean that because I love someone (or the feeling of love is here) does it mean that now they should now be constricted to my idea of how they should behave, or how they are supposed to reciprocate or respond?

That is the trouble, isn’t it?  To love is full of space, to love is full of freedom. It is when we make our love conditional that we struggle because of it. So if you love (for example) Adam; now because you love Adam, should Adam have to behave in a particular way, or love you back?

Q: Yes, I understand that love should give freedom, but experientially it is seen that if it doesn’t happen in a certain way then it triggers something here also, and that is also can be a part of freedom; that which is appearing here (for example something which appears or comes here) then why can’t it also be accepted?

A: Yes, yes. I feel you know this one; you know the answer for this one because you have heard it for a long time. You are not talking about the momentary pain which can arise…

Q:  Father, for example if you tell me something which would really hurt me, then I could be crying for days…

A: Yes. See how much you can cry. If I tell you something strong…, (and we can try it now if you like) [Laughter] before you pick up a concept about it, it can happen. You see, if Guruji [Mooji] told me something [indicating pain arrives] tears can come, something can happen; but first I have to then believe a concept about it. ‘Oh, how can he tell me this?’ or ‘Why does he always pick on me?’ or ‘Why doesn’t he understand me?’ and ‘I am this way’. We have to reinforce that pain with some fuel of concept to convert that into our prolonged suffering. That is what is being spoken about.

So, there can be love, there can be a reaction, a response of hurt or grief which can come; but to make suffering out of it you need to reinforce it with some ideas, with some concepts.

Now, basically it is very simple. None of you can actually suffer without believing a concept. Over and over, we are saying the same thing; but the concepts themselves (this is the Mahabharata, the concept) the concepts themselves, the mind itself is fighting back with the best concepts it can bring up. And all of you are fighting with different sets of concepts. If you were to look in this room right now (and I don’t want to deal any report cards) but all of you have a different set of favorite concepts. One has concept about doership, one has concept about freedom, one has concept about emotion, one has concept about something else (body, relationship) so it is just which concept seems to be playing out the strongest here. But Right Now, they are gone. Right Now they are gone. Now, they are gone. Now…, Now…, Now. They go really fast when we don’t give any space for the movement of this energy called the mind.

A: I’ll repeat the first part [of his question] again: ‘To hold on to my individuality, I need my thoughts. And to be free is to let go of this mind’.

Q: Yes. I see that when I let go, there is space, there is freedom, there is peace.

A: Yes.

Q: Father, there is some very strong force which comes; as if I want to experience life as an individual Being still. I want to experience life as an individual Being not as an unassociated universal Being. So, I see both these choices are there and that’s why I liked that quote of yours very much when you said that ‘Freedom and bondage can’t be together, and openness and closed-ness can’t be together’. And I realized that what I was trying to do is trying to manage…, trying to put both of them together so that I can experience life as an individual and at the same time I can be free also. And there seems to be a constant tug of war between individual existence and letting go.

A: Yes, yes. It’s a good point. It’s a good point; we can speak about it for a minute. See, everyone in some way or the other (as we are letting go of this individuality) has experienced this to a smaller or greater extent.

Some have said ‘Okay, I want freedom but please don’t make me a beggar on the street’. They say ‘Okay, give me the Janaka-style enlightenment or freedom. I want to be the ruler of my Kingdom, I feel I can do it’. So, like that. [Laughs] ‘But don’t take away my material comforts’. Some have said ‘I want freedom, but this aspect of my life which is my relationships, please, please don’t change that, let me keep that’.

For every and any aspect which we can be personally attached to as we are moving towards the letting go, it becomes clearer and clearer what that is which we are most attached to. And that can always seem to be something which we want to carry through.

Now, this is a subtle point (and I see in your case also it creates some confusion sometimes). .., the subtle point is that as you find yourself without attributes you will see that, in reality, you are not carrying any of this.

[Silence]

So, when it is said that ‘Not a blade of grass will be carried into this door of freedom’ this is what it means. Listen. As the reality of what I am (as the Witness of Presence, and as unassociated Presence itself, as the Truth of my existence) I see this to be the unchanging, unwavering Truth.

So, this is what it means; that we cross this door of freedom with nothing, not even a blade of grass. Because Being comes to this sense of being unassociated.

Now, what can be confusing sometimes is that the play in the apparent life of such a one (for some there can be ‘this’ which still remains [hand gesture] for some there can be ‘this’ aspect which still remains)…, for her, for example, ‘My marital relationship and this house and my investments and all these things still remain’. You see? For some it can feel like the entire thing… [Hand gesture of throwing away everything] They will become a Fakir, you know, just begging for food and going. For some it may feel like something else remains and something else is not there.

Now, nobody can predict how that aspect of the outward functioning will play. The mind can see that and say that ‘I want to pick and choose. And between all these various expressions this is the type of freedom I want’. But as we are crossing the door [Chuckles] then even this will be dropped. There will come a point where (if it is really strong) we will be on our hands and knees saying ‘Whatever you want to take, take. I want nothing but You’. [Chuckles] It will come like that.

It is that surrender, this internal surrender, which is important because that means that that surrender is True, that means that there is devotion and trust. If we still say ‘Yes, yes. You manage 90% of it but 10% of it I still want to hold onto’…, because what are we playing? We’re playing as if we are separate individuals and we are making a deal with God. Isn’t it? That is saying ‘Okay, this aspect I don’t want to let go of. The rest you can do whatever you want with’.

So, as we come more and more into Satsang, into our inquiry, into devotion and love, we will find that it will be so easy for us to say ‘Whatever be Thy will. If you feel that this moment is the end of this worldly existence in this life of this Ananta, if that be Thy will, let Thy will be done’.

And we don’t have to force this; we don’t have to push ourself to make these kind of prayers. Just you will find them sprouting organically as you continue to stay in your contemplations, in your inquiry, in your marinating in the Presence of Satsang. Then you will one day laugh at all of these things that you wanted to grasp onto strongly. Not laugh in a divisive way, but laugh at ‘How could it have played out that these things seemed so strong to me, but now it just seems so light’.

Just like your classmate from college had come the other day and he was saying that there was one term which you didn’t do so well and things; so at that time it might have seemed strong. (One term, no? In college exams.) I don’t know what you felt at that time, but I’m just presuming if it was me it would have felt strongly at that point of time that ‘I’ve not done so well in these exams’. But now when you look back, you can see that life went okay; everything is fine. Just in the same way, you will find that all these current seeming-challenges which seem strong (and are attachments which seem strong) when you look back, as we get lighter and lighter from all of these, it will just seem like ‘Oh, I was so concerned about this, but look, it all worked out fine’.

Q: Father, this one point that I wanted to mention that I see the importance of freedom and the value of it also. But also it is that I recognize that the individual dreams and desires are very precious.

A: So, as long as they seem to have meaning, they seem to have relevance, you are free to play with them. It doesn’t mean you have to pick one or the other. It can feel like ‘Okay, this one still feels like it has some potential for joy, or meaning and relevance’. You’re free to play with that.

It is for those who come and say that ‘I don’t want anything at all. I only want to see the truth of who I am and I want to be free!’ For them I will say ‘Okay, drop everything. It is nothing. It is only a thought’. If you say that ‘This aspect of me still has meaning, has some relevance, I want to play with it for some time’ nothing can stop you.

Q: I also see that…, like earlier it used to happen that (all of us) that even if we are picking up thousands of thoughts per day it would be normal. But now it feels like if I pick up very few things and identify, then it starts causing a lot of suffering. So, like this struggle between living life as an individual or dropping of the..,

A: You see? But if that is organically happening for you, that means that you’re coming to the dropping of these things. You see? Because that which makes you suffer constantly, you will not keep picking up. If by the picking up of thoughts you come to a lot of suffering immediately, then you will not keep picking up the hot potato again and again. Isn’t it?

Reading From and Commenting on the Ashtavakra Gita [12.1-12.8]

~ ~ ~

Chapter 12: Abiding in the Self. Janaka said:

[12.1] “Becoming first intolerant of action, then of excessive speech, then of thought itself, I come to be here.”

‘Becoming first intolerant of action, then of excessive speech’…, he is talking about non-doership. Not identifying with the thoughts anymore ‘I came to be here’.

[12.2] “Neither sounds nor other sense perceptions attract my attention. Even the Self is unperceived. The mind is free, undistracted, one-pointed. And here I am.”

‘Neither sounds nor other sense perceptions attract my attention.’ That’s what we said, that as our belief is withdrawn, we will find that attention is also not running about as much as it used to.

‘Even the Self is unperceived.’ That means not a phenomenal appearance. ‘Mind is free, undistracted, one-pointed. And here I am.’

[12.3] “Effort is required to concentrate a distracted mind, superimposed with illusion. Knowing this, I remain here.”

‘Effort is required’…, this is what we spoke about today, ‘to concentrate a distracted mind, superimposed with illusion. Knowing this, I remain here’.

[12.4] “Nothing to reject, nothing to accept. No joy, no sorrow. Lord God I am here.”

[12.5] “The four stages of life, life without stages, meditation, renunciation, objects of mind; nothing but distractions. I am forever here.”

[12.6] “Doing and not-doing both arise from ignorance. I know this. And I am here.

‘Doing and not-doing both arise from ignorance’…, from the idea of there being a doer.  Doing and not-doing both arise from ignorance. I know this. And I am here.’

[12.7] “Thinking of the unthinkable One unavoidably conjures thought. I choose no-thought and remain here.”

‘Thinking of ‘the unthinkable One’…, that which concepts cannot reach. To try and think about that is not contemplation.

‘Thinking of the unthinkable One unavoidably conjures thought. I choose no-thought and remain here.’ This is talking about not picking up spiritual concepts, spiritual ideas.

[12.8] “Blessed is he who attains this by effort. Blessed is he who is such by nature.”

‘Blessed is he who attains this by effort.’ So, the seeming-effort of the inquiry, if it seems to lead to this letting go, then that is blessed.

‘Blessed is he who is such by nature’ which means he who is naturally surrendered, naturally devotional, letting go and able to lay their head down on the Master’s feet or God’s feet and allow everything to happen. If that is their nature, they are also blessed.

So, that was chapter 12.

Q:  So, is it like one spends the time actively doing that; spending some time every day doing the inquiry as a practice?

A: Actually, inquiry is just a simple looking.

The inquiry becomes so natural that you won’t even need to use the question ‘Who am I?’ Inquiring is just like this…, it’s just a simple looking, without even the concept of ‘Who am I?’ Sometimes, just the ‘Who?’ is enough’ sometimes just the ‘W’ is enough. By the time you got to ‘W’ it is clear. It doesn’t have to be [Serious face] ‘Who… am… I?’  [Chuckles] Just the intent to look at what is here, who is here, that is what we are talking about.

So, we don’t have to make a practice per say out of it. But if it helps, if you feel like it. We know this. In our heart we know this whether a concept is light and easy (and just momentarily some belief went into it) or we know when something is really sticky (as Adyashanti calls it ‘The velcro thoughts’). So we are usually good at identifying them.

We must look at our velcro ones and (maybe, if it helps) we take some time and really say ‘Okay, next twenty minutes, I am just going to look at this one which seems to get me over and over. When this deal comes from the mind, when this offer comes from the mind, I always end up giving it my money, my belief. So maybe I can take a few minutes and just look at this’. There is nothing wrong with that.

So I am not prescribing something that ‘You have to sit for this much time every day’ because you know in your heart which are the sticky ones, which are really light and they just come and go. Take the sticky ones into your inquiry. And if they keep coming over and over again and seem to get our belief every time they come, you can just look at them and they will become lighter. In that way, then, even these sticky identities start losing their Velcro-ness, their magnetism, their pull.

Many of us here (I know most of you are younger than me) but many of us grew up watching these Tom and Jerry cartoons. So, we used to have these cartoons and what would Tom do when he wanted to call Jerry? Mostly he would take some cheddar cheese or some cheese; in the cartoon they would show that the aroma is calling Jerry. Isn’t it? That comes out from the cheese and it goes ’Come, come, come’ and Jerry the mouse goes flying. So these are our favorite concepts; this piece of Swiss cheese is our favorite concept. And when they come, they are like ‘Come, come. There is so much joy waiting for you, so much; it will be so good, so good. I know last time it wasn’t so much fun but this time I am telling you…’ And inevitably what happens, there is Tom the cat waiting, you see. [Chuckles] It’s waiting with that cheese saying ‘Okay, I got you’. And as we recognize this more and more, as we see this aroma ‘This got to me last time, once it was Brie, once it was Swiss, once it was Cheddar, once it was (whatever)…, all of these different types of cheeses’. Then we are able to inquire into them and drop them. And we see that all of them are leading only to this Tom cat of ego.

There is actually this very nice story of somebody that lived with Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] for many years, and he after some time got very frustrated because he was seeing people coming who were fresh and apparently getting what Bhagavan was pointing to but he had been with Bhagavan for many years but he was just not getting the point. And in the wisdom of the sage, they are able to tell what is the medicine that is needed for this particular resonance (of this particular frequency or energy or whatever is functioning through that seeming body-mind). So, for that one he said ‘Whatever you do for the rest of your life, you will not leave the inquiry. You will keep asking yourself ‘Who am I?’ until I tell you to stop’. For some it could be nothing at all. ‘Just drop everything, there is nothing you need to do because there is no doer’. And for some it could be a very strong instruction, saying ‘You must constantly, day and night, just ask yourself ‘Who am I?’

So there is no set formula for what is prescribed. You can be nice to everything in the world, be nice to the outer world, be nice to your emotions, be nice to everything; but for some time don’t be so nice to your thoughts. Just let them come and go. You can love everything, molly-coddle love everything, but just for some time allow these thoughts not to be molly-coddled, not to get your belief. You can have even a sense of love towards these thoughts, you can have an attitude of love towards these thoughts, but doesn’t mean that we have to buy what they are selling. Just like we can be compassionate to the con-artist who is coming to trick us. Because ultimately even the con-artist is an expression of God but just because it is an expression of God, to fall for the trick would still be foolishness, especially if the trick is something we have fallen for a million times. You see?