BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

After the broadcast ended yesterday, there was an interaction. Somebody was leaving who said something like (not in the same words but something like) ‘Is there any last instruction for me? What should I do?’ And I asked her ‘Do you want me to refer to you as that which you are recognizing? Do you want me to refer to you as that which you’re recognizing yourself to be? Or do you want me to refer to you as that dynamic, pulsating aspect?’

So, this is the question for all of you. Ideally in this today’s short meeting [Before going to be with Mooji for two weeks] I’d like to refer to all of you as MySelf. And I know that MySelf doesn’t need an instruction. Even the dynamic aspect of MySelf, which is Consciousness Itself, doesn’t need a pointing.

[Chuckles] I’m coming back in two weeks. So, even this ‘What should I do while you’re away?’ …, even this we don’t need. We’re beyond these crutches now; beyond these crutches of support structure. The other day after satsang, we were watching Guruji’s [Mooji] video and he was talking about ‘No stick’. It’s one of my favorites, if some of you haven’t seen it. (Just search for ‘No Stick’ Mooji on YouTube.)

Many times, we feel like we go to a Master and we feel like ‘Here is one who will know everything’. But ‘know everything’…, we feel like he’ll know something about the future, we feel he’ll know something about my life. As we get to know the Master more and more, we see that he doesn’t know anything. [Chuckles] So, it is the opposite relationship. Usually, in the world, we go to people who know a lot and we want to go to listen to them so we can learn something. Here we come to satsang so we can un-learn everything. When you meet someone who doesn’t know anything and is comfortable with it, then you get comfortable with your own not-knowing.

Nobody knows anything about anything. There is nothing to know in that way.

How are you without any crutch? Are you falling? Or flying? [Chuckles] If you didn’t have anything to hold onto…, if you didn’t have any ‘thing’ to hold on to (let’s put it that way) any concept to hold onto, what would happen; if you don’t have a single grievance, if you don’t have a single concept of anything to do, if you don’t have a concept of where you have to get to, if you don’t have a concept about what it is to be free, if you don’t have a concept of how life should change once you come to your Freedom? I’m here to tell you that all fear is unfounded. All fear is unfounded because You cannot be hurt, You cannot be attacked; there is nothing to protect, nothing to defend.

Satsang is just Consciousness reminding Consciousness of its true nature… in the play of Consciousness Itself.

We were saying yesterday that it can seem, many times, that we discover or have insights about what we are and our insight about what we are is that ‘I have no limit, no boundary, no shape, size, form; no real name’. But there’s an aspect of my Self that seems to flutter about. So, we were comparing it to a dog and its tail. So, there’s a dog that is still (suppose it’s still) but its tail is wagging a lot. Should we start referring to the dog as a tail?

So, just because the tail is wagging (sensations, emotions, thoughts…, the energy is moving) what is the greater that you are discovering about Your Self? The Source of the tail must be greater than the tail. What the tail is attached to must be greater than the tail. What gives the power to the tail to move must be greater than the tail. It’s just because it wags, it seems to get all our attention. And we say ‘This must stop’. Why does it have to stop? The dog is fine.

So, let this dynamic movement happen on its own. Nobody has ever controlled it anyway. These are myths. No individual entity has ever controlled this. Therefore, all is the will of God.

If we feel in our heart that it is the Satguru’s will or God’s will, then it must be clear that if it is God’s will, then it cannot be the will of anyone else; because there is actually no one else. All there Is is Consciousness, is God …, (All There Is in an existent way). [Silence]

Over the years (again it is not meant to be a goodbye Satsang, just these words are coming) over the years we have had many pointers which are very simple, straightforward. Know that you cannot become miserable unless you withdraw from this Any Time Misery (ATM) machine. Know that there is no Freedom for ‘the cat’. [Referring to Ananta’s analogy that ‘What if someone told you that you were a cat, and for your whole life you believed them?’] The identity is not becoming free. It is just Consciousness has been playing with an identity which now it has grown out of. Just like children play with an imaginary friend. It is not the imaginary friend that becomes free; it is that the child becomes tiered of playing with this.

Know that in reality there are two aspects of One Self. The bigger aspect, the big ‘A’, (which we cannot truly even say ‘big’ because it is beyond time and space) is Awareness. This ephemeral, the moving, the changing aspect is the small ‘a’ called appearance.

Know that you are free Right Now; before the concept of now, before even the checking whether I am free or not, before any notion of Freedom. Therefore, all spiritual practices are only meant so that you can come home to this Truth. The Truth of what You have always been, which is unlike everything else we do in this world. Because anything else we do in the world …, so, if we do practice like if we go to the gym, if we are working out, it is so that we can build some muscle. There is a phenomenal change which is expected. We go to school so that we can learn a lot of concepts. It adds to our encyclopedia of concepts.

But a true spiritual path is not to make you into something new or to add on something to you. It is only so that you can come to the recognition of what You Are. Actually, the purpose of most practice is to bring you into this moment Now; with a little bit of inward turning of attention, to see whether there is anything besides this phenomenal appearance. In this holy moment Now recognize your own Source. Where do you come from? Where will you go?

This body is a beautiful instrument, a gift by Consciousness to Itself to experience this world in this intimate, experiential way. So, don’t hide or resist the body. Have an inclusive acceptance of it. But don’t allow the mind to convince you that you are limited by it. In the same way, allow all sensations, emotions, thoughts, everything, to appear and disappear in their own way. Don’t be quick to assent to the notion that you are limited by these, that you are suffering from them, that something should change about them for you to become Free.

Observe that one of the tricks of the mind is to play as if it is helping you on the path to Freedom. It is checking every day based on phenomenal experiences, based on the quality of your feelings, based on what type of thoughts that are arising; it is giving you a report card about your Freedom. Know that this report card is all about past. In this ever-present Now, you are unreportable, uncheckable.

Remember that if you are to rely on something; rely on your insight rather than your interpretation or inference. What do you find your Self to be? (Not what you judge yourself to be or what you infer yourself to be on the basis of some emotion or some thought.)  [Silence]

In this play of master and disciple, father and child, I know that the destination is a foregone conclusion. I know that all of you will come to that which you are longing for; this Truth. The destination is a foregone conclusion because You never left! You have never left the destination. And yet as a father…, every father wishes that their child has a beautiful journey. So, I wish you all the auspiciousness, all the joy, all peace as you walk in this journey towards That which has always been.

[Many minutes of sitting in silence]

[Guru Purnima Blessing]:

May my father’s [Sri Mooji] grace bless your every step.

May his Presence light up all our lives.

May you find complete rest at his lotus feet.

Surrender all your burdens, all your heavy baggage.

May you leave this Satsang today with nothing on your back;

no grievances, no resentment, no pride, no guilt.

Offer all of this today to me, as your gift to me, as your Guru Dakshina.

May you have a joyful life. And may all those that come into your Presence be also touched by the Truth that you are discovering about YourSelf.

Guruji [Sri Mooji] always says ‘The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree and the Sangha is truly a reflection of the Master’. I have great gratitude for this beautiful Sangha. I actually feel that this expression of Ananta is just your reflection; the purity of the longing for the Truth of the Self.

May this expression [Ananta] always be at the service of those that have this longing in the Heart.

Give your Father [Ananta] this blessing today, that he may continue to serve at the lotus feet of his Master and to bring those who are ready for this Truth …, may he always be in service to all of you.

Thank you all so much for everything, always.

To say I love you is not enough of an expression for what I feel for all of you.

Sat Guru Sri Mooji ji ki Jai

Okay let me share a little about what I was saying. She was saying that these moments of spontaneous recognition, they happen and something tries to grasp them. Now what it means by ‘something tries to grasp them?’ It means something tries to put a clear concept about it, that ‘this what happened’ or ‘this is what’s happening to you’.
These concepts are failing now, because this that you are experiencing is beyond the realm of phenomena and a concept can only try and make a feeble attempt to describe some phenomena. You see? Now, what you’re discovering about yourself is that you’re beyond just your phenomenal existence. It is a part of you but you are more than that. And that’s why it can feel like you are losing some perspective. Now, that perspective…, is very good we are losing it because immediately after a spiritual experience, if we were able to conceptualize it and able to share it very clearly, have a very clear perspective, like a concept about it, then I would be a bit worried about you actually. I would feel like some spiritual ego is trying to creep in by having some very spiritual concepts about what is happening.

But you say ‘I’m losing perspective. I don’t have, I’m not able to say clearly about what’s happening with me’. This is very good. Use this perspective and you see that nothing very valuable is being lost. Isn’t it? It can feel a bit uncomfortable because it can feel like ‘I always knew what is happening to me. I knew where I was going.’ All of these things. ‘But now suddenly I don’t have a perspective anymore, is this life? Is this beyond life? Is this spiritual? Is this non spiritual?’ All these boxes will start to dissolve.

This kind of perspective, if you are losing it, is very good. You are tasting life for what it is and not this photocopy of life which our mind tells us life is. You’re facing every moment as it is, and you don’t have an interpretative idea of everything that is happening to you. This is really good.
The reason why the mind is not trustworthy is because it is convincing you about you being an identity which is not real. So, in that way, the mind us not trustworthy. If the mind is saying that the apple is green, it is making a phenomenal report (which is also not really trustworthy because we can talk about green-ness and apple-ness…, we can talk about those things. But at least in that, there is no concept of ‘I’ or your relationship with the apple). But you will find that most of what the mind is saying is it is talking about you as if you were a limited entity. In that way it is not trustworthy.
When you see that the root of the message of the mind is to convince Consciousness of its individuality (by Consciousness’s own design) and that now Consciousness is coming to this part of the play where it doesn’t want to play as if it is a limited individual entity anymore, that is why the mind is losing its trustworthiness.

It’s a great inclusiveness to include the phenomenal experience. Not to be in denial of the phenomenal appearance; not to (like you said) not to try and push it away. In your inclusiveness of all there is, even including that which appears, then there is a simple openness to everything that is arising. And in this openness, it is apparent that there is a phenomenal aspect, a phenomenal play, which is an aspect of MySelf. And there is something which is non- phenomenal; is the Witnessing which does not have a quality, it does not have an attribute.

So, in our openness, it is apparent what we are; that we are both Shiva and Parvati; the un-manifest and the manifest. It is apparent.

Some of you might have come to just a few satsangs and you might wonder, because it might feel like what I’m always pointing to is the non-phenomenal or That which is the witness of even the primal phenomena. It is only that we want to be inclusive about it. What has happened is that mostly we have included only the phenomenal, and the recognition of the non- phenomenal has not been there. That is why it looks like, when we say …, (for example, when we not-this, not-this; the neti-neti) it can feel like we are in denial of that which is appearing. But actually, it is only expanding our horizons. It is more like saying ‘What else is there? Is there anything else besides the phenomenal?’ And when that recognition is there, then we say that ‘Yes, it is undeniable; the appearance of Consciousness and the entire play of Consciousness is also undeniable’. That’s why we don’t deny that Existence is here, and the play of Existence is there.

Then you say that ‘Even, if for a moment, I buy a thought or believe a thought, then I find myself smelling a bit different, smelling a bit individualized, a bit not in alignment with the reality of what I find MySelf to be’.

So, that’s exactly what we are talking about. Because these thoughts are talking about you as if you’re an entity. And this entity is not even to be found phenomenally.

So, in our resistance of phenomena, we still don’t find the appearance of this individual entity. You see? So, that’s why even phenomenally it smells or tastes a bit different when we pick up this individual position.

Then, what is to be done? Nothing. Because in this moment, it is already done. All the ‘clean up job’ happens organically every moment. So, that’s it. So, we are fresh and clean. Unlike the baby, the diapers don’t need to be changed. [Chuckles] Automatically, the moment changes them.

So, he says very beautifully that sometimes an event can happen in our life that can feel like a complete knock-out punch. Completely unexpected out of the blue…, boom!

All the concepts that we hold about ourselves, everything that we felt was true about life, that is knocked away in one punch. Then you say that ‘I feel so vulnerable, open, empty’. And in this way, actually even these kind of events (it will sound strange what I am going to say) but even these events give you this gift: that you cannot truly make a conclusion about anything. Because you know that anything can just happen; in this phenomenal world, anything can happen. But even in this, now, the mind will come and try to give you a position. It will make that position of ‘an open one, a vulnerable one’. It will say ‘Ah, I know now that I am so vulnerable’. But even that we don’t want. Remain empty of any condition, any concept.

So, all life is like this; it is just moving in its own way. Just like the waves of the ocean, they are moving. It can feel like the wave is deciding ‘Oh, I am going to go left today, I am going to go this high today or this low’. All this is just make believe, just fairy tales, that ‘I can decide what is to do, what is to happen, where I will go’. If you start thinking about all the decisions you have to make (education, career, how to bring up a child and all) nobody knows all these things. Nobody really knows anything about anything. Just when that moment arises …, my children will come in front of me and say ‘Pa, can we do this or not?’ I don’t know the answer but something, a yes or no comes. The mind will come later and say ‘Ah, but was that good, was that right or wrong?’ It has nothing to do with how it moves. Ask parents. Isn’t it like that? You could have a plan: ‘Okay, I am going to bring up my children like this or like that’. But it doesn’t happen. In the moment, it just flows as it is meant to flow. So, just like any parent, you don’t know anything which is good. At least you have the recognition that you don’t know anything. Most parents (what the struggle is) they feel like they know something and then the children seem to be going another way and then they feel like ‘I am not doing a good job’ or something.

Because in Satsang, you are seeing that life is already surrendered. And with this event now you see that it is all surrendered. Nobody could have seen this coming.

Q: No planning can help.

A: No planning can help these things. So, you see that something moves all of this and something will also move the life of your children. As you remain empty of your individuality, you will find that your children are automatically blessed by your Presence. It doesn’t mean that they won’t throw tantrums; it is not a cheat code in that way. You see, all that will still happen but it is all a part of the taste of this world. All the extremes are tasted here; life and death, birth and death. You have had a taste of this. Death can come…, from the silliest of things without any fathomable reasons.

And all this strategizing, planning, deciding is quite worthless in the larger scheme of things. And yet in the play, even this is a part of the movement of the wave. Even spontaneously you might find yourself planning (you see what I am saying) knowing fully well that this plan is just nothing but a conceptual idea. If it is the will of Consciousness to move in that way, it will; otherwise is it not going to. Yet, as a part of the play, we can say…

As long as you consider yourself to be an individual identity who has got responsibility now, additional responsibility, then it will seem burdensome. Once you start to see that there is no entity here anyway, it has always been Consciousness …, it has always been that One’s problem, (whether you call that Consciousness, the Satguru, whether you call it God, it doesn’t really matter). But for the One’s whose problem it has been has always been, it is not really a problem. [Chuckles] You know what I mean? It has always been like that. Nothing is additionally your problem.

It is very beautiful what you say because even in the complaint of ‘Oh, Father, now I have this additional responsibility and how will I deal with it?’ you see that Consciousness is enjoying even that. At least you are looking clearly enough to admit it. Most of us when we are going through it we don’t see with these eyes; the mind would say, for most of us: ‘How could Consciousness be enjoying this?’

You must not feel that tears should not come and only when the tears stop then…  If there is grief, let there be grief; if there is anger let there be anger. Not just grief…,  I am sure even anger comes.

Q: Yes.

A: So, in the worldly play this can seem like this is something to get really angry about. All this is allowed to come; grief, anger, resentment can come. Don’t try to push away any. For some time, don’t even worry about whether it is mind-y, it is not mind-y. So, don’t be hard on yourself about anything. Just remember one thing: that you are taken care of, your child is taken care of. There will be moments when strong identity will come; let it come. It is okay. Just know that you are always in the Satguru’s arms.

For Consciousness to experience its own Godly Presence, it is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves while we have this existence. This gift we must give to ourselves.

Q: With your Grace, Father.

A: This Grace is only in service to your longing for this Truth. The Satguru’s presence is greater than any other force. As long as you find your place in this Presence, you don’t have to worry about anything else.

Once in Guruji’s [Moojiji’s] house (we stayed in Rishikesh) there was a lady there whose fiancé passed away. She said ‘Ananta, it took me 4 years, but 4 years later now I can tell you now that this was the greater gift I could have happened in this life’. Who can say like that, that the passing away of this Beloved one is the greatest gift she had in her life? Because it brought her to her un-dying Self.

So, death is not a topic we should shy away from. This body is dying. All that we are concerned about…, this object, it will end up in the funeral pyre or under the ground. All our planning…,  we were talking about it, but we will not be able to avoid this. Most likely our body will end up in the hospital one day and then after that this body will in a pyre or under the ground.

But while this play is on, while this body has the animating force animating it, can we play the game in this way? Can we find that which is undying? That which will not burn in that fire? Like in Shivoham: Na Shastra kate na agni jalay – which no weapon can cut and fire cannot burn. Can we find that?

In this very moment, is there something missing? Whatever the content of the moment might be, You are Here. That’s been the theme here the last few days anyway. What do we need beyond our Existence? If there is something that we could need, then this Existence would not be the Holy Presence. It would be something lacking.

But as you taste your Existence, do you feel like it is incomplete? Do you feel that it is lacking? And when I say ‘Do you feel…?’ I don’t mean ‘What are your feelings about it’ and I don’t mean ‘What are your thoughts about it?’ [I mean]: What is your insight about it?

How do you taste your Existence? How do you experience your Existence? Is there naturally something lacking in it? Is there naturally something missing in it?

Until you go to sleep tonight, will this come and go? Or is this your constant experience?

So, if there is nothing lacking in our Existence, in our Presence, then where is it lacking?

The idea that something should be another way applies to who?

See, this discovery is very, very beautiful. There are some who come to satsang and they have a complaint; they have a complaint that ‘Ananta doesn’t help us with our feelings’ or ‘Ananta doesn’t help us with our thoughts’. What to do? The expression from here is pointing to this Presence, this Being that is not suffering from Its feelings and Its thoughts. It is, in fact, the origin, the light of even these. And I know that as you taste this Presence more and more, you will find that these feelings and these thoughts really are just images on a screen.

So, does this mean that those who are working on a better quality of feelings, a better quality of thoughts…, they are wrong? No, it doesn’t mean that. But there are millions of people and millions of places who are helping with the feeling aspect of it and the mental aspect of it. But satsang is for just to show us this truth, this Presence. And I know that sometimes in the play it can feel like ‘Oh, I know this, but it’s not helping. I know this but it’s not helping’. It’s like saying that ‘I know God is holding my hand but he’s really not helping. I know that God appears within me and I am the ultimate abode of even God, but how does that help me?’

That which Knows that God is Here, That which is aware of God’s Presence, what help could That need?  So, when we get into that kind of ‘level confusion’ what can happen is that in the same paragraph we can refer to ourself as The Absolute and we can refer to ourself as something that is just an appearance (not even an appearance…, something which is just mythical; this identity). So, the mind will try to own even these insights. That’s why it’s very important to See, with your eyes of insight: See what is Here.

It’s not a small statement to make that ‘I Exist. I Am’.

Now, Consciousness has given Itself one super-power. Now, if You are God, if You are Divine, You already have everything, You can do everything, You can project this universe, You can play with time and space as if they are building blocks; You can do all of this. Now, what super-power would You give Yourself? You already can play with the entire time and space as if it is nothing…, as if it is Play Dough or something. Now, what is this super-power that You can give Yourself?

Therefore, the only super-power now to give to OurSelf is the ability to pick up the notion to pretend as if ‘I am just a character in this play’…, the ability to pose as if you are limited.

And please know that I mean this completely, with full integrity, that You are God. It’s not something fancy, not something absurd, not something that you have to get to. You ARE It.

[Silence]

You are the Supreme Lord of this universe. And as the Supreme Lord, You wanted to play as if You are something conceptual, as if You are something individual. Therefore, You gave YourSelf this super-power which is to be able to say ‘I am anything; I am something’.

I said this before that anything we put after ‘I Am’ is a story, is a lie. (If lie is too strong a word, at least ‘story’.)  Even ‘I am nothing’ is a story.

So, I hope you’re assimilating some of this. We looked at this Existence, we looked at this Presence and we saw that. We call it ‘I Am’.  This ‘I Am’…, there is nothing missing in this; in fact, it is the basis for Existence, the basis for any perception, for any experience. In that way, it is All There Is.

And we’ve also looked, over and over this last many years, that unless you attach a concept to this ‘I Am’ suffering is an impossibility. Only something that is limited can suffer. How does a master of the universe suffer? So, Your Presence, Your Being, Your Existence can never suffer.

So, to get a taste of this suffering, you have to attach a concept to this ‘I Am’. ‘I am something’. ‘I am a spiritual seeker’. And now, if you attach even this humble and nice-sounding concept ‘spiritual seeker’ then what can happen? If you are a spiritual seeker, that means there is somewhere to go, something to seek. That itself is a big lie, isn’t it, because that which you were seeking is already there as ‘I Am’. That which you’re seeking is already there as Your Presence, as Existence, as Being, as Consciousness, as God (whichever words you want to use).

So, God coming to this recognition: I Am that I Am…, is what we are doing in satsang today, is what God is doing in satsang today.

But now, one voice will come and say ‘But these are just fanciful notions’. Actually, that is the voice of fanciful notions because it is the opposite of Your direct insight about YourSelf.

Let me see how many feel that there is something missing Right Now in their Presence…, who feel like it’s a half-Presence or something, like you’re half-existing?

Do you feel there is something missing in this Existence? …, in this moment, before you allow the notion to come, before you allow an idea to come, a thought to come? …, (and even after you allow a thought to come?)

This Existence is just here naturally. Do you have to work hard to exist? How did this Existence come about? Did you say ‘I have to work so hard to make my life’? But what amount of work can you make to make your life? If you didn’t exist, what work will you do to make yourself exist? [Silence] You exist effortlessly.

And it is the nature of the mind that that which is effortless, which is naturally available…, it feels that that has no value. That’s why many would prefer it if we gave like 100 steps to enlightenment. [Chuckles] It would feel like ’99…, oh, 100! I found it! It’s always been here! It’s my own Presence. It’s my own Existence’. But was that missing at step 1?

I know how it can play like that. Sometimes it can feel like ‘I cannot give any attention to this Presence’ and it feels like certain things are needed for us to get there. I understand this. In fact, we spoke about this yesterday also. But I’m speaking from the simple, effortless position now: that I exist. How did this existence come about? We ask so many things: ‘Why, why. Why does this happen to me? Why is my life like this? Why don’t things get better? Why is God this way? Why is God that way? Why can’t my Master be more like this? Why does he wear these terrible t-shirts?’ [Chuckles] You know, ‘why’ about everything. But why do you exist?

What is it that exists? So, as long as we remain in denial of what this Existence truly is, then questions like ‘Why does this happen to me?’ or ‘What is my life going to bring?’ (all these confusions) it’s because of the primary confusion about what You Are.

The root of all confusion is a confusion about what We Are.

You speak from your insight of what You Are…, and tell me a meaningful confusion. You cannot do it. You have to insert an identity into it. You have to first become ‘something’.

So, this is a story of the typical Master-disciple relationship, where the disciple comes and says ‘Please, sort out my confusion’ and I say ‘Please, let’s sort out who you are’. It can feel like a denial of your question but it really isn’t. It’s the only true way that I know of that we can answer it.

Okay, suppose you were a lost fish…, or you thought you were a lost fish. Finding Nemo or something. [Chuckles] You’re looking for Nemo and you come to me for direction and you say ‘I’m Nemo’s dad. I need to find Nemo. Have you seen him?’ Now, I know that you are not Nemo’s dad. I know that there is no such Nemo. I know that you are the ocean itself. Now, what direction should I give you? [Silence] Hear yourself giving these directions and you’ll hear my voice in satang.

Now, this Nemo has changed throughout our life. It has gone from relationship to money to health of the body to now ‘Nemo’ has become freedom or enlightenment. How will you find this Nemo? The one that is looking must look within now…, and see if That one finds anything missing here.

In the ocean of your Existence, you’ll find lots of things. Some things might feel pleasurable, some things might feel painful. But the ocean’s job is not to discriminate between them. The ocean’s job is not to say ‘I want only this and I don’t want the other’. Because there is nowhere for everything to go, except to be within You. It’s just that you’re misunderstanding your space. You feel like you are limited space. And once you start to have this insight that there is no limitation which is true about Me, then you will not resist or reject anything in your experience.

So, that day we were celebrating Guru Purnima and these words came: Bless everything that you perceive. Everything. Don’t make a distinction in your blessing because all of this is your creation. Everything is your child.

And if blessing seems like too much, at least don’t resist it, don’t fight it. Come to this simple space of neutrality.

[Silence]

Sometimes what we speak about in Satsang, the mind says ‘Oh, this is denial. You’re in denial of your feelings and thoughts’. Actually, it is not denial. Allowing and openness toward whatever might be is the opposite of denial. It is our resistive relationship that we create towards any feeling or towards any concept that is the attempt at denial.

The ocean is not picking and choosing what can swim in the ocean. The room is unconcerned about which objects are there in the room. So, not giving belief to the wrong identity, to the false limited self which is the denial of the truth of what You Are. In the truth of what You Are, all phenomena is allowed and accepted. Actions and reactions, they move on their own.

Taste your Being. Taste your Presence.

Tasting? Are you tasting? [Chuckles] Like I’m saying ‘Taste your Being, taste your Presence’ and you’re wondering ‘What’s for dinner?’ [Laughs]

No matter what the mind might be saying, taste yourself as Existence, as Presence.

And if some of you are new to satsang, then the way to quickly find this sense of Presence, this sense of Existence, is to actually try to stop being. Try to not ‘be’ for a moment. And you will see that it’s silly, it’s funny, to try and not ‘be’ because Your Existence is just Here.

Then, this Existence that is Here, don’t make a concept about it, don’t make a visual about it. Just taste it. Don’t try to understand how to taste it. This much explanation is enough.

If you feel like you’re not being, that you can’t find Being: Don’t be. Can you not be?

Don’t make any conclusions about it. No interpretation is needed.

Allow your attention to immerse itself completely in Your Presence.

These words are directing it.

You don’t need to do anything at all.

Immerse yourself in Your own Presence.

Have this holiest of holy dips.

And as you dip inside the wonder of Your Presence,

allow the Presence complete space.

Don’t hold anything in your hands.

Let it take away all your possessions, your concepts,

your insights, your ideas, how you must be,

all of your defenses…

Allow all of this to be immersed in Your own Presence.

The idea that you are doing something…,

Allow it to be immersed in this Presence.

If some fear is coming, it’s nothing to be concerned about.

This too shall pass.

If some joy or bliss is coming; same thing.

This too shall pass.

Don’t hold onto anything at all.

Surrender all things to this Presence.

Nothing needs to be held onto.

You’re tasting Your true Existence.

Your true nature has always been here.

You played with all that could be played with.

All the fishes in this ocean; You played with all of this.

Now you are discovering what the ocean Itself is.

What is the space in which all of this is happening.

Is it separate from You?

[Silent Sitting]

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

Q: I recognize myself as Awareness right now, but I have some innate negative tendencies due to childhood impressions that come into operations and pull me into their delusions, and successfully color my perceptions. Your advice on this please.

A: So, you have defined this entire play of delusion. This is how the Self functions. You say, very rightly, that when you check, you See that you are this primal witness, That which is aware even of your existence. You see that, you said. Then what happens? You say, ‘I get caught up in some tendencies; there are some tendencies here.’

So, what is the meaning of this? First, there must be a sense that you exist. There can be no tendency unless there is a sense of existence; I exist, I Am. Because a tendency only means ‘I am something’. Tendency only means that ‘I am something’. ‘Nothing’ cannot have a tendency. Or that which is limitless, boundless, cannot have a tendency. A tendency must mean first that ‘I am something’.

So, you said there was awareness, there is a sense that ‘I Am; and the tendency is that ‘I am something’. Now, stay with the Now. You said when you check, you See that you are this Awareness right now. Notice that even this sense of existence is effortless.

Now, how does the tendency come? We won’t even post-mortem them; we won’t look at the past and why they came. You talked about it in the past, saying that maybe because of the parents; it could be various things that happened. So, you said due to childhood impressions. But in the right now, if you check and you find that you are Awareness, then how is it that you become something else? Can it happen without the thought? If a thought doesn’t come, what are you?

You are not trying to push away thoughts, but imagine for a moment that no thought came; what are you then? You just Are. Empty of a concept of yourself, you continue to exist. If the thought vanishes, do you also vanish? [Silence] You just Are.

Now, after the thought comes, you notice whether it is believed in. What does it mean to believe it? It means to say that it is true. Something gives its ascent to the thought, says the truth value is one, says that the thought is true. And not only that, but it also says that it is meaningful. It could be that there are a hundred thousand grains of salt in the container in my kitchen [Chuckles] but can this concept become a condition for you? It doesn’t. Because it might be true but it is not meaningful. So, that which we say it’s true and also has meaning for me, that becomes then a conditioning or a tendency.

So, it is to hold on to this conditioning, to hold on to this tendency, which has taken so much effort. Because first the concept has to come as a thought, then attention of course goes to it, then we have to say that it is true and meaningful, then it becomes a belief. So much work is happening. So, although Satsang might feel like I’m asking you to take some effort, it is actually to come to your effortlessness.

In this moment, right now, before I give you a moment to even think, you are free. You are empty of this condition. Now. Now. Now.

And as I’m saying ‘Now, now, now’ many times the mind might be saying ‘But, but, but…’ [Chuckles] waiting with the objection.

So, mind has a condition to offer you. And I have the pointing now to offer you.

What are You right now?

I know that you are empty of conditioning.

But Consciousness has given Itself the ability to pretend as if lies are true about it. It has given itself the ability to pretend that any condition can apply to it.

What you are discovering about yourself, in your own report, is that you are without any attributes, without any limitation, without any color, shape or size. And what every condition is telling you about yourself, is that you are limited, you are a body, you are some type of a person, you have desires. That is constantly the story from the mind.

But in this moment, you have a discovery that ‘I am this Awareness’. And none of this really applies to this Awareness. That is why the Inquiry is beautiful, you see, because as you keep coming to this recognition of the Truth of what You are, that which is false will look more and more meaningless. And as it starts to look more and more meaningless, you will find it more and more difficult to give belief to these concepts which are selling you your limitation, which are telling you that ‘You are a duration between birth and death …, that is you; this bucket of flesh and meat …, that is you’. This is what the mind is saying. But these are conditions; whatever the condition might be, even our spiritual conditions.

So, then, as long as there is a doer-ship, what is it that I can do? Until I come to the authentic discovery, full of integrity, that there is no individual doer here; what is it that I can do? All of spirituality is based on that, isn’t it? Because if all the Masters know that there is no individual doer here, why do they give all these instructions? Why do they say ‘Do the Self-inquiry, meditate, do yoga’? Because conditioning itself seems so magnetic to our beliefs, to Consciousness, that it can seem like ‘I cannot be free from this, unless you tell me what to do’. So, let me see if I can tell you all what to do, and you can decide what is the most comfortable.

The first is, just let go, surrender everything, to whomever you have some devotion with. The true point of having that devotion is that everything is that one’s problem. So, if you say ‘Father, we have some devotion for you’ then let everything be done by Father.

Now, this one is a tricky one, because as you give up what is to be done unto Father, you also must give up what is experienced also to Father. So, if Father has to do everything, then Father is also experiencing everything. Otherwise it is only half surrender; that you are the doer but I’m still sitting here as an experiencer. If it is to be either half surrender or none at all, then just start with picking half surrender. It’s okay.

Some of you who might feel like there is no such devotion, or there is no such Being you can feel, or even a devotion to God or any such power is not there where you can just say ‘Yes, He or She is taking care of everything, nothing is my problem’. If you don’t find anything like that, then what should you do? Then what you should do is: Find out what You really are.

How to find out? Just in Satsang, what we do every day is this inquiry. ‘What is it that I really am? Who am I?’

So these two are the main pointings, the main direction in this path. Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi had verified very clearly that surrender and Self-inquiry. For some of you it is surrender or Self-inquiry; for some of you it is surrender and Self-inquiry. That’s okay; whatever  permutation and combination, whatever feels most natural to you. So, he had brought about such a beautiful movement in a way, such a beautiful change, where the crux of all Vedanta, the crux of true spirituality, were made so simple in a simple direction.

Surrender means ‘You, Guru or God, You are the one doer and the one experiencer; everything is Yours. Let Thy will be done’.

Inquiry means ‘Who is the witness of this thought? Who is the witness of this world? Who am I right now?’ Most of the words spoken in Satsang are invitation and provocation for inquiry.

Now the beauty about this is that, as you let go, as you surrender, what you truly are will also become clear. There’s so much space for the simple Self-recognition. You may not constantly run after ‘What’s in it for me?’ You’re not constantly run about in the belief of this concept, ‘What’s in it for me?’ You will find there’s so much spaciousness to recognize your Truth.

And as you are doing the inquiry, as you are coming to the recognition of the Truth, you find that the beautiful surrender to your own Presence, which is the same as the Guru’s Presence or God’s Presence, is also happening on its own. That’s why although it might seem like two different ways, actually (as Bhagavan said) they are two different wings of the same bird. You start flapping about either of them, you will see that both are there.

Now, some of you might say that ‘This surrender I don’t understand, and this inquiry I definitely don’t get. [Chuckles] What is the point of just sitting and asking who am I?’ Some of you might say that. Then for those, it might actually be helpful to make it a simple practice. That is, anyone who feels like that, they can always come to me and say that ‘I feel like my mind is so noisy, I feel like the belief is so rampant, and I don’t feel like I’m devoted to anything. I can’t really surrender it, and the inquiry is just not bringing any insight to me about what I am, so there’s no peace that’s coming in my life because of this pointing’. To you, I might prescribe something. You might call it meditation, you might call it chanting; whatever you might call it.

If you feel that even this becoming more meditative in our lives, more contemplative in our lives, is not something that appeals to you, or even the concept of chanting something doesn’t appeal to you, even the concept of just staying with What Is, staying with your breath, for example, sounds like it’s alien, and has no appeals to you then I might say ‘But still, you must come with this integrity and say this is what it is’. Then I might tell you something else. I might ask you to do some spiritual exercises. I might ask you to sing some devotional songs. I might ask you to do some seva, do some service, which doesn’t have a ‘me’ at the center of it; to do something, anything, which has no ‘me’ at the center of it.

So, all of this is the response to ‘What should I do?’ and most of spirituality is about this. Of course, there will come a time where, with the integrity, you will see that there is no doer here, there is no limited entity here. Therefore, there’s nothing to do. All is being done.

As we surrender our doer-ship, experiencer-ship, we find that the experience of this world continues, and that which needs to be done also continues in its own beautiful way, with no expectation of what the outcome should be.

But what is all of this about? It is all about coming to this moment, empty of a resistance to What Is, empty of a notion of what it should be…, just coming to the simplicity of existence, the simplicity of Being. And because our conditions have been so complicated, it can seem like all these various options are there, for us to be empty of these conditions.

It’s funny because already all this clean-up has happened on its own. In this moment, we are empty of everything. But it can feel like ‘If I pick up the lightest of concept, the entire tree of conditioning seems to be back’.

In this moment, all that is needed (if anything at all) is a simple openness, a simple allowing. Allow your thought to come and go. Even if your belief goes to some of them sometimes, allow yourself to See that that was just how it was meant to be. In this moment, you are empty of all of that.

Do you need to remember anything to exist? So, whatever we remember, at least it’s not an aid to our existence.

So, if all the stories from the past are not helping us to exist in this moment, what purpose do they serve? And you might say that ‘All that will help me take care of some future moment’. This is the game we keep playing. What does it help us do?

Without any story, what are you right now?

Isn’t it funny that we come to satsang to meet That which is always here? …, to get rid of that which is never here.  The ego, the sense ‘I am something’ the sense that ‘I am separate’…, without a story, where does it go?

The experience of this world continues to be experienced. Our perception is still on. Life is still being lived. Did you stop breathing without a story? Did your heart stop beating? Eyes stop functioning? Ears are still hearing. What happened when we dropped the story?

Everything that we need is already here in the moment, Right Now. And what do we really need? Is the experience of this world a need that we have? [Silence] It is a need? Or a play?

That which needs to go into the past and that which has an idea of what the future should be like…, that is not needed in satsang.

So, one golden rule is that our primary intent (if there is such a thing) our primary intent is to find the truth which is unchanging. If there is truth that is changing, that doesn’t have much value. We’ve had many such truths and we held onto them…, and then we had to let go of them because life squeezed them out of us.

So, what is the truth which is unchanging? And if it is unchanging, where must it be? It must be Here Now. So, then we don’t need to refer to the past or we don’t need to project into the future when we’re looking for the truth or the Self.  Because we are here for Self-realization, Self-recognition.

It’s just that our habit has become to look for things (which seem to be) outside. Then, we look for the Self also as if it will come as if it is an experience. So, we say …, (you might not say it so openly if you’ve been in satsang long enough) [Chuckles] But if we usually ask people: What is Self-realization or liberation or freedom? [They say]: ‘This should always happen. I must always be happy. There should be miracles happening around me. There should be a halo around my head’. Now, where is all this? Outside, in the realm of experiences.

(This might be a bit confusing, so…) If you look at what we mean also by Self-realization or recognition, we associate it with some effect. What is the effect of Self-realization? ‘If I’m realized then I must be like this. If I’m enlightened, then I must be like that’. So, for a while, even forget about the concept of enlightenment because that will just be an effect (if there is an effect to happen).

But what is the first part? Self. [Silence] Not the effect, which is enlightenment or liberation. What is the first part, which is he Self? Where must we go to find this? In which direction should we turn to find the Self? [Silence] Who can say which direction? How many turns you make to go towards the Self?

Q: [Stammers]

A: Four options: North, South, East or West. [Chuckles]

Q: No. I will look at ‘I’.

A: I will look at ‘I’. How?

Q: By recognizing, at least; having seen…, because it’s the Self…, means like ‘my’ Self…, is only…, I’m looking for ‘my’ truth, I’m not looking for the truth of these glasses. So, if it’s ‘my’ truth, then I must look in ‘me’. [Silence] I’ve been trying to find happiness somewhere but if I’m just looking for the Self (I’m not looking for any happiness) then I have to look at the Self.

A: Good. [Chuckles] I get the meaning of what you’re saying; but let’s drill down even deeper. Why are you not looking for the body?

Q: Because it’s apparent to me already, visually.

A: So, it seems like the body already is here. Nobody is running around looking for the body. (There might be someone [Chuckles] but we’ll talk about that separately.) Nobody is running around looking for their body. Usually, in our experience, nobody is saying (if we talk to someone, we don’t find them saying) ‘I’m looking for my body’.  ‘What?! What is this?’ How come we don’t have the same reaction when so many thousands and millions of people are looking for the Self? [Silence] She had the answer; she had the clue to that. But let’s really question it.

All of us are supposed to be spiritual seekers, therefore, looking for the Self, the realization of the Self. The word ‘Self’ means what? It is what I Am; it is my Self. Now, body we’re not looking for. Body, we say, is already here. Self is where? [Silence] It’s very important, this point.

Q: But you gave us the clue by removing ‘realization’. Then immediately, you can see that ‘I’m already the Self’. Because if we feel that just being the Self is incomplete, then I need some realization. Right?

A: Yes, so let’s really drill down on this point.

So, we say that if the truth is true, if reality is real, if God is real, if the Self is real then it must be Here Now. So, then when we look at what is Here Now, it seems apparent that the body is here. Why? It seems apparent because it is also an object of our senses. So, at least, we can look at the contours of the body and say ‘Okay, there is something substantial that I can hold on to’.

Now, if I start asking: ‘So, what witnesses even this?’ [Silence] And if you don’t go to a learned concept about it, if you don’t go to an imagination about it…, then who is (the sakshi) the witness of this?

So, then we can include this body and every other phenomenal experience and say:

‘Who is the witness of these?’

And it is a simpler question. If we try to apply our mind to it, then it seems like it’s very complex; we have to pull out the right concept and we don’t have it.

But Right Now, what witnesses everything? Is it you? Or somebody else?

Q: You.

A: It’s you. What can we say about this one? [Silence] That which witnesses everything; what do we say about That one?

And again, the mind will come with answers, the mind will come with imagination, but stay with your present experience…, stay with your insight as it is.

[Silence]

If I tell you that you are not witnessing anything, does it make sense?

Sangha: No.

A: If I tell you that it is the next one in the hangout (zoom hangout) or your neighbor sitting next to you who is actually witnessing everything, does it make sense? You cannot relate to that experience. You can only relate to your own witnessing, that ‘I am witnessing this world’. This ‘I’ which is witnessing the world; this one is primary.

So many stories we tell about our body. ‘I was born here. Here is where I live. These are my parents. This is what I learned. This is where my school was. I learned to walk at this age. This body has this affliction and that affliction. These are the things that it went through.’ So much we talk about the body.

But the ‘I’ which witnesses all of this…, have we spoken about that? What can we say?

Q: I just realized that this ‘I’ can’t be seen like the body can be seen; this witnessing ‘I’. I can’t see it but I can only Know that I Am. I can’t have an objective…

A: Yes. So, it cannot be seen in a physical way. So, how can we say that it exists? Because we have learned that for something to exist, it must be perceivable…, otherwise it’s a myth.

My son [and his friends] they have this concept. One of them is bragging about something and they will say ‘Photo? Or it didn’t happen?’ [Chuckles] ‘Post a photo of it, or you’re just making it up’. So, this is how we have learned; that if we have phenomenal or perceptual evidence of something, then we can say it is true. If it is not there, it seems like it is not true.

Now, when it comes to the witnessing, we’re in trouble; or at least the mind is in trouble. Because it is undeniable also that I am the witness of everything. But I cannot find the shape of it. I cannot find the color of it.

Then how do we know? What kind of Knowing is this that Knows that I am the witness of all these appearances?

I keep going back to what Ashtavakra said. He said, ‘You are the one witness of all there is.’ [“You are the solitary witness of all that is.”] He was talking about You. [Smiles]

In your experience, it is true! You have witnessed of everything. But which You is this one? [Silence]

In many of the Upanishads it says ‘Remain the witness. Remain as the witness’. My question is: Can I not remain as a witness? Can I turn this witness off?

So, therefore, the pointing only means ‘Don’t pretend to be something that you are not’. Whatever happens, if you are not there to witness it, does it have any meaning? You at least have to witness a concept of it.

[Silence]

This witness…, is your discovery of That which is the unchanging Self.

For now, we’ll keep it simple like this. [Chuckles] Let’s keep it simple like this because if we quickly start to look at whether this is the perceiver and then whether Awareness is perceiving even this then it might get a bit confusing. Let’s first just look at this:

What is it that witnesses our thoughts?

What is it that witnesses the space between our thoughts?

[Looking a someone who is new to satsang] You know what I mean when I say ‘space between the thoughts’? A thought comes ‘Oh, this is making sense’ or (usually in first satsang it’s) ‘This is making no sense’. [Chuckles] So, that is a thought. You see? Then the next thought comes after some time ‘But it’s okay’ …, or something. You see? Now, between the first one and the second one, it seems like there’s a gap; even if it seems like it is slight.

So, this one that witnesses this gap; you can experiment for yourself and see. A thought will come, and you will find that usually when you start inviting thoughts they seem to not be so rampant. Before you invited them to come in, it can be ‘It’s too abstract. It’s too difficult. I’m not getting it’. All these thoughts are coming. And then when you start inviting them…, not so many.

So, That which watches these thoughts changing, which one is that one?

Is That Itself changing?

With the changing of the thought, with the changing of the imagination or memory (whatever might be perceived) …, is that which witnesses it also changing?

Which one is You?

Don’t go all Advaita on me; I know both are You. [Chuckles]

Which one is more intimately You?

A thought which comes and goes…, are You to remain to see that that thought came?

If I ask you: ‘Okay, bring some focus to your next thought and tell me what it was’. So, the thought would have come and gone. But You remain. So, the thought is changing. You remain as the unchanging.

In the same way, emotions are constantly changing, but You remain unchanging. Everything else; the world is obviously constantly changing. This room has never been exactly like this before. Even this online arrangement has never been exactly like this before; it is constantly changing. This body is constantly changing; shedding cells all the time, new cells being created, millions of processes happening in the body. It’s constantly changing.

Now, all of this play, at all these many different levels, is a constantly changing play. When you come to satsang, you’re basically saying ‘I want to know what is the unchanging. What it is that I truly Am? Because I see that everything around me is changing, all my relationships are also changing. Nothing stable I find in this world. I want to look for That which remains unchanging’.

[Silence]

What, in your experience, doesn’t change?

What doesn’t change?

Speak from our experience; and preferably, speak from your experience of Right Now.

I know the question can sound contradictory: What is unchanging Right Now? But do you know what I mean? What do you find Right Now which is always this way? [Silence]

Q: This witnessing.

A: This witnessing. Who does this witnessing belong to?

Q: Well, that’s why I wanted to check with you. You know, when we began and you asked the question simply ‘Who sees this?’ I was with great confidence saying ‘I Am’. And I recognized that ‘I Am’ can’t be seen. It’s witnessing but it can’t be seen. And then, when we’re just keeping silent, this ‘I Am’ which seemed extremely intimate and ‘me’ just seems to be…, (I don’t know; just something is happening). But the witnessing is not stopping. [Silence] But the witnessing is not giving any meaning to that which is observed.

A: So, what is it that we are finding? We are finding that we were looking for the Self (Atma or whatever you call, the Self) as if we will find it as an object. We were looking to find it like the body. We were hoping to find it like a visual experience of some sort; maybe some chakra or some portrayal of God. All those can be there…, but what witnesses even that?

Is that which is appearing, dancing in front…, is that more intimately ‘I’ than That which witnesses even that? [Silence]

There is no more of a trouble-some concept to the mind than this one. Because it can smell in these words the pointing that ‘You are not an object’ and the mind’s focus has constantly been to convince ourself that we are an object.

If you were not a ‘thing’…, is it okay with you?

If you are not ‘some-thing’…, are you okay with that?

Q: [Inaudible]

A: Yes. But even this ‘meaning something for others’ is meaningful for ‘me’. If I did not find meaning in being meaningful for others, then it would be a worthless concept.

So, what we find here is that we’ve given meaning to the idea of a person or an identity or the ego. But when we start to look, we find that there is no such thing here; there is nothing really called a ‘person’. There is a body here, there are thoughts, there are other sensations…, all kinds of phenomena. But no real entity called ‘the person’.

Then, what you are finding about yourself is that you are empty of attributes and qualities; color, shape and size, name and form. In India, that which has name and form is called an object of maya. So, what doesn’t have name and form? You don’t, in reality…, Your Self.

[The thought might come] ‘Everything is maya, including yourself. Your Atma is also maya’. Nobody says that. You see? Why? So, if everything that has name and form is maya; then that which is beyond name and form.

So, are we going to allow it to remain just as a concept: ‘Maya is name and form’? ‘The soul (many people have the concept of ‘the soul’) is beyond name and form’. So, are we going to just allow that to remain a concept? Or are we going to have an insight about it? Are we going to be able to find this soul or Atma? [Silence]

My invitation is ‘Yes.’ I’m just pointing out that there will be some frustration along the way, because as you’re looking for the witness, you don’t find something you can hold on to. You don’t see an image of it, you don’t see a color of it. And yet you Know that you are the witness.

Now, that which is frustrating to the mind will actually become your joy. Because if you see that you have no phenomenal attribute, then you really cannot be hurt in this world. Then you have no need for anything. There’s nothing to be feverish about and nothing to run away from.

You find the truth of your Self as this Consciousness, this effortless existence…, in which all things are moving but it Itself is not moving. All things are changing, but it Itself is not changing.

That stability that we are looking for, that contentment that we are looking for, cannot come from an unstable world. We’ve seen [this for] ourselves. Everybody says the world is unstable and this body is unstable. We’ve looked at all these layers. And yet, where is everybody looking at stability for? That which is always changing.

So, what is unchanging?

What witnesses the change?

Is That unchanging?

[Long silence]

Just empty words don’t mean anything here. Because even the best sounding words can become part of our stories.

I was telling someone yesterday that it is the parents actually who are powerless compared to their children. We realize this only, mostly, when you have children. You realize that the power rests with the children when they have you wrapped around their finger actually. In the same way, the Master might seem to have some power or something but he is just a servant. He is just in service to your longing for the Truth. He is just here to serve (or she is just here to serve) this inward-turning that is happening for you.

All that has been shared here with my Father’s grace has been just for this: for you to come to your discovery of the Satguru within, for you to have some representation of your inner Presence. We are so used to relating to form. That is why we need the outer form to come and speak in a voice which is deeply familiar somehow. Feels like it’s the voice of my own heart; because it is actually.

Only point (if there is a point of this outer instrument called Ananta) is to be a servant to this longing to turn inward to your Presence, to your Being. And then you find that the outer and the inner are one. There are not two; outer and inner.

So, with the discovery of the inner, nothing outer has to be discovered. We were also talking about this yesterday. It can seem like then the outer must be discarded once the inner is discovered (something like this). You find that there is no distinction. Everything is actually within your Being. There is nothing that you perceive which is outside of your Being, outside of your Presence.

So, my ‘job’ (if there is such a thing) is to help in this way; to serve you in this way that you see what You truly Are [Silence] which is completely inclusive of everything.

The mind has one function, which is to say that you are separate. Mind likes to divide things up into compartments. The Intuitive Presence is the voice of unity, the voice of inclusion, not excluding any. The voice of acceptance is the dropping of the resistance to ‘What Is’.

So, may this celebration [Guru Purnima] actually signify you truly bowing down to your intuitive Presence, the Satguru which is your very essential nature itself.

The other day on Facebook I posted a video that I have loved for many years. It is Papaji’s [Poonja ji] video saying: ‘Why get up?’ One had this report that ‘When I am at your feet, I experience so much peace, so much love, so much joy.’ [I’m paraphrasing] Papaji (in his style) said ‘Did you sit? Did you sit at the Master’s feet? You sat? You experienced all this peace? Then why did you get up?’

It’s very beautiful. It can sound funny if you are just looking at it phenomenally as bodies, then it can seem like ‘What kind of question is that?’ But ‘Why did you get up?’ symbolizes something else. If you say that you are surrendered, then what comes that you take back this surrender? Relationship, money, body; can the Master not deal with all of this? If the Master can’t deal with all of this then what does ‘surrender’ even mean? Is it just words? Is it just something that we do during satsang? ‘Why do you get up?’ means only this.

I used to say often earlier that between inquiry and surrender (they are not actually two; but conceptually) I used to say that surrender is the easy way. But over the past few years, I realized that our intellect, our mind, has been so deeply ingrained…, that this simple letting go and saying ‘Now everything is my Master’s problem, come what may’ seems more difficult than anything else. You would rather have spiritual practices, things to do.

So, all of this that is pointed out in satsang is only so that we can come to this non-resistive letting go of this play of the world, letting go of this idea that the Satguru cannot run this life; that there has been somebody here individually that has been doing all of this and that wants now to achieve something and get to some freedom or liberation.

That sounds like much more heavy lifting to me than to say, truly say [that] from the heart. What does it mean? Maybe at first, we say (I am not speaking about the sangha, I am speaking about humanity in general) many of us, we will say ‘Yes Master, yes God, please, I surrender to you. Take care of everything’. But what we are actually saying is ‘Take care of everything, but the way I want it taken care of’. It feels like we have now achieved the code to life; just go and say ‘Yes, I heard that surrender is the best thing to do, so I am just going to surrender, but make sure it goes well, okay?’ [Laughter] That is not really surrender.

As we sit at the Master’s feet truly it means: ‘Whatever might come, whatever is Thy will, let it be done. You are the doer, and You are the experiencer also’. ‘Tvam karta, Tvam bhogta.’  This is surrender. It is very popular these days to talk about doership and non-doership, but we continue to hold on to individual experiencer-ship. ‘Tvam karta, mein bhogta’ means ‘You are the doer but I am still the experiencer…, so make sure you do a good job of it!’ [Chuckles]

When we come to this recognition, there is only One. It is Consciousness in its light which is playing with these images and sounds. There is no individual experiencer of these. It is Consciousness Itself which is tasting this in every moment. Consciousness Itself which has been playing as a deluded one, and Consciousness Itself coming to the simple recognition ‘I Am that I Am’. These are the words of your own God-Presence.

There is a beautiful devotional song which has the words ‘Tumse O Jori, Avar Sang Todi’ [which means] ‘Once I connect with You, then my seeming play of this relationship of the phenomenal world seems to lose its meaning’. So, find this truest relationship in your heart and you will actually discover that the meaning, the joy, the wonder in this world as we play as Presence itself seems to become so amplified, so vibrant.

If, as individual entities, we are looking for meaning in this existence, it is a very frustrating journey because everything is constantly changing. The search for meaning is like a search for stability which you don’t find in an adverse engine. Then what can you anchor yourself to? You can anchor yourself to That which the Guru is pointing to which is your own Presence, your own Being.

This is the true meaning of the Guru; the One that is the Light. And as we shine the Light on your Truth, you will find that no ego has existed. The seeming darkness of individuality has just been another play of Consciousness.

We are blessed to be in the holy presence of the Master

~ ~ ~

[Note: Guru Purnima actually is on 9th July 2017 but Ananta was going to be out of town then so the sangha arranged a celebration on this day of  30th June]

I want to share a few words about what we’ve been doing [Chuckles] because some of you might have been watching online and wondering ‘What is going on?’ So, maybe a few words to explain what all of this represents.

See, the outer expression signifies something that we want to convey, happening at a deeper level. We say ‘Hi’. What does it actually mean? It means ‘I see you, I acknowledge you, I meet you’. We say (bowing with Namaste) ‘I meet you in the heart as one’.

So, what is the meaning of touching feet; bowing down at our feet? We bow down to… (in India it’s very common, so most of you don’t need this). [Gopala bowing down. Laughter in the room] He’s showing you how it’s done. [Smiling, Ananta touches Gopala’s head lovingly]

So, what is this outer representation? What does it really represent?  What are we are trying to convey? We are conveying that ‘I’m merging into the Holy Presence of the Master’.

What is the Holy Presence of the Master? It is your own unassociated Being. [Silence]

So, this outer representation is only a symbol for what is truly happening. Consciousness has been playing as if it is an individual entity, the person. And Consciousness now is coming to the recognition of its true Presence, of its true existence. And it is conveying that it is done with this play of name and form; and moving towards this essence, this Being. [Silence] So, outer symbolism (although it is very beautiful) must truly represent this inner movement.

Then, why is it today we are doing this? What is it we are doing today? Guru Purnima is there next week and (Visa willing) [Laughter] I will be in Sahaja next week. So, Guru Purnima is …,   (like, every year we have Father’s day and Mother’s day) so in India one day has been allotted to the Master and this is Guru Purnima. It is a full moon night, a very auspicious occasion, and we celebrate the presence of the Master in our life.

So, next week as I’m there [Sahaja] the sangha here felt that they wanted to have the celebration a little in advance. And that’s completely fine because actually every day is Guru Purnima. Just like every day is Mother’s day and Father’s day; nothing is so important about that particular day. And yet we can use this an excuse to celebrate the greatest Presence that we have experienced in our life.

And I want to express my gratitude to my Father, my spiritual Master, Satguru Sri Mooji ji: This one was just a lost child without you, before he came to your feet. Thank you for adopting me in this way. Thank you for allowing this mouth to convey …  [Voice is choked up] … for allowing this mouth to speak the words from your Presence. [Silence]

In India, we say (when we pray to God, sometimes we say) ‘Whether you like it or not, I’m at your feet.’ Like in English we say ‘You are stuck with me now.’

Oh, Beloved Father, you are stuck with my head at your feet forever. [Silence]

Thank you for this beautiful sangha as well.

I was joking the other day and saying that Guruji must have felt that this one [Ananta] who likes to share about things that truly cannot be shared, whose joy in life is to speak about the unspeakable, he [Mooji ji] must have felt that ‘He will be very bored in Bangalore alone’. And so, you sent this beautiful sangha, this beautiful family, these beautiful friends. All your grace. And truly, all these flowers, all the pranams…, this body is just serving as a medium for all this to come to your feet. [Silence] Thank you, Father.

[Extended Silence]

Over the years many, many, many of you have participated in seva. So many transcripts, so many videos, photos; all the various seva activities that have been done. I want to express my deepest gratitude for this beautiful silent service. There are many more coming to the light of their Presence as a result of this beautiful seva that you are performing in complete surrender.

~ ~ ~

[Note: Guru Purnima actually is on 9th July 2017 but explained in this text why posted on 30th June]

May all of you have a very beautiful Guru Purnima.

May the Satguru’s Grace bring all auspiciousness,

all love, all peace, all joy, all that is auspicious into your lives.

I want to say one last thing:

Allow your Presence to bless everything that comes in your view.
It already is, and yet, there is beauty in this allowing.
Don’t pick and choose what you bless and what you don’t bless.
All of this is your creation, all of these appearances and even the space between the appearances are your children.
Bless everything.
Bless the world, bless every appearance in this world.
Allow your inner Satguru’s blessings to bless this beautiful creation.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

~ ~ ~

[Note: Guru Purnima actually is on 9th July 2017 but Ananta was going to be gone then so Sangha arranged a celebration for 30th June]

So one helpful tip, before we even get into the inquiry: Who am I? (It is not a pre-requisite, it is just a tip) …,  before we really check for what ‘I’ is or who I am, it’s good to rest in the moment.

Something already understands what this means when I say ‘Rest in this moment’. I could say ‘Taste this moment’. Whether the moment is quiet or it seems like it is bombarded with mental nose (or any type of noise) can we rest innocently, almost naively, without a sense of judgement, in just What IS.

Now check if you can remain for some time without picking up a notion or a reference point about yourself.

There will be thoughts which tell you about yourself. There will be the visual perspective which seems to tell you about yourself. There might be others that seem to speak about you.

Check if for a few moments you can be empty of this.

This doesn’t mean that the content has to go away. It is just the association. In fact, it is the creation of the false identity which doesn’t happen unless we allow for something to become the reference point or a pointer to myself.

For just some time, forget even the holiest notion about yourself.

Don’t even be concerned with any terminology, any vocabulary including Consciousness, Awareness. Just let it all come and go.

Now slowly, with the eyes of a child, with the innocence of a child, check what is it that you are.

Now some sensations might arise. Find out what witnesses even these sensations.

Don’t try to know the answer. Just gently look without judgement, without reference, without interpretation.

Notice that everything that defines you is nothing but an appearance. And the thought comes and says that this is you. The thought is nothing but an appearance. The sensations which seem like the boundaries of the body are also appearances for you, attained in the same space that all other appearances are coming and going.

But  is the perceiver of these appearances also coming and going?

Use whatever appearances that might be there for you now (including the voice of Ananta that is there now) to check whether the perceiver to these appearances also comes and goes.

Is there an entity here?

Is the perceiver separate from that which is perceived?

Is the appearance outside of this one that perceives it?

Allow your attention to move towards your favorite representation of God, or your favorite representation towards which you feel the most devotion. Notice that even this representation (whether it is Guruji (Sri Moojiji), Christ, Krishna, Shiva) is also contained within your Existence, within your Being.

Allow your attention now to go to any aspect of your Existence. It could be sublime, it could be run of the mill, it could be terrible. Allow your Attention to wander wherever it wants. And notice that no matter what is the content, it is only perceived as an aspect of your own Existence.

Continue to look with the eyes of a child.

As though words have no meaning for you…, look with those eyes.

Dive deeply into your inner-most Being.

Allow all the layers of Existence to just move on their own.

Don’t try to understand these words.

Dive into the deepest corner of your Existence. If something can still be perceived here, dive into the one that perceives it. If you perceive this one, dive into the one that perceives it.

The voice of judgement will come. Just let it come and go.

Dive deeper and deeper into your own Being.

Whatever the shape of the experience might be, you dive into the perceiver of this experience.

If there is anything you can say about what you find (except ‘It Is’ or ‘I Am’) go even deeper into who perceives this one.

Some of you might start to experience some bliss, some joy; and you can taste this for a few moments. Remain sober and dive into the source of even this joy, this bliss.

Taste your Presence.

Taste your Existence.

With the innocence of a child, without understanding what is being asked…, jump even beyond this Existence. Have no size here, have no shape; no quality describes you prior to Existence. And yet you Exist before ‘I Am’. Yet it is I.

You cannot leave this because it is You.

You were never born, you will not die when Consciousness is done with the play with this body.

This unchanging Self you Are.

A million universes cannot contain You and yet You contain them in the tiniest aspect of our own Self.

The glory of You is unspeakable.

You are the indescribable One. Allow all descriptions about yourself to vanish into their meaningless-ness because they are not true in reality.

May the auspiciousness of Satsang bless your outer expression so that it might find peace, find contentment and find rest; That which seems like the inner-most Being but actually is the foundation and the basis and the container of all our layers of Existence.

May Sat Guru Sri Moojiji’s Grace always be upon you.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

Q: When I see that it is all happening in Me, in the Awareness, that is fine but it is like it is still …, and if feels peaceful and it feels increasing joy here, but it still feels …, you know, it is sort of personal in the field of this body. For example, I am experiencing you, as it were, within me in [via] the computer, but I am not experiencing what you are experiencing. Like, you are in India, it is probably pretty warm, I am not experiencing that. So, it is like (at least the mind says) yes, it is expansive, but it is still sort of related to…, the current thing is related to where the body is located. And that is okay. Maybe that changes, I don’t know; or even if this is a worthwhile line of inquiry… [laughter].

A: Yes, so it might arise one day as an insight that the only true thing we can say even about phenomena is that which is our current experience. We can only say ‘I exist’. You cannot truly confirm the existence of ‘Ananta’. Of course, you have some visions dancing in front of you but we experience many different things like this. In a dream, we experience many things. We’re happy to say all of this is a projection of my consciousness; one consciousness. All the rivers, mountains and other people come from there.

And yet, even there it can seem like ‘Oh, I am contained within this body, subject to time and space’. So, let this arise as a natural insight if it has to. You remain with this enquiry about what you are and what is it that is aware of your Being, your existence? And then all of these insights, if they have to arise…, whether it is one existence, or if there are actually two of us; or like Guruji says ‘It is all actually about you, but not you personally.’ [Chuckles]

Then these words will sound like riddles. But they become very clear, what is going on. Or when Ashtavakra says (I remember you were there. We were together close to Pune when we had these Ashtavakra words which say) ‘You are the one witness of all there is’. Ashtavakra did not say ‘There is you which is a witness. There is also ‘Ananta’ which is a witness. And all of you are experiencing various things’. It said: ‘You are the one [the solitary] witness of all there is’.

And I know that as long as we are in this rehab getting away from the limited conditioning in some way, all of these can seem like abstract concepts, they can seem like just fairytales or something nice to have but it can feel like ‘It is not my experience yet’. But what I am truly saying is that it IS your experience already and yet it is not what your inference is agreeing with, or what your mind is agreeing with. This is what I mean by insight and inference.

Now, as you get comfortable with remaining with your insight, then you will find that all these inferences were actually upside-down. From your own experiences, you will see this; not because the sages have said something. And even if the insights don’t come in this way (that actually there is only this one being here) at least this much will become clear, that there is no individual entity called ‘Richard’ here. That is the important thing.

It is only ‘Richard’ that can suffer. Only that which is limited, that has name and form can suffer. So, when this world becomes a play then allow these insights to come and go. Even that will become part of your play.

Sometimes the sharing of these insights will happen (not with the intent to frustrate you or something) the sharing of these insights will happen just to put a small or big fire-cracker in your mind or something; just to explode it in some way. (What is it called? Aha! This too.) Like our mind-blown experience. Because your mind is blown for a few seconds…, in those few seconds I can do a bypass. I can request you to check what is here.

So, that is why some of these things are said; this is why I also enjoy these. I enjoy these insights very much. I enjoy telling you that you are not an object in this world, it is the world which is an object in You.

And I know that the mind has nothing…, it cannot do anything with that. [Chuckles] But because there is some trust and some love you feel for me, there will be some weight given to these words and for a minute your mind will run out of moves, for a second your mind might run out of moves, and that is enough for me.

So, what are we doing here? Today we shall find the Self. [Smiles]

Fundamentally, it’s all very simple actually because we’re just looking at one simple thing, over and over again; one very simple thing, over and over again (over the course of many years, many satsangs). Fundamentally, we are just exploring this occurrence or appearance…, that Consciousness (which in its very nature is unlimited, which in itself is not limited in any way) has given to itself a notion, or has given to itself the ability to pick of a notion of limitedness. That’s really one of the most important aspects of what we are talking about.

I was saying that it is our inferences, it is our judgments and conclusions which keep this notion of separation alive. But what is our insight?

So, if there are two IN’s: there is an Inference and Insight. And if you have to pick between these two, pick INSIGHT.

Another two IN’s are coming to me. [Chuckles]. Between Intuition and Intellect, pick Intuition.

Between Inference and Insight, pick INSIGHT. And then, if we are to use some words, then let those words be as directly about the insight as possible. It is my feeling that if you were to stay just with your insight right now, you cannot escape your unlimited nature.

And notice that I am not saying that some of you are unlimited and some of you are limited. I’m not saying that you might be unlimited in an hour or you were unlimited in the past.

I say with completely certainty that: Right Now, your Being does not have any boundary.

And how can I say this with such certainty? Because this never changes. That you are truly, truly, truly always this Consciousness which is without any boundary is the truth of your nature; which is unchanging.

If you just remain with your own insight right now (even if thoughts, emotions, body sensations, irritation, frustration, bliss, joy, anger; all these things might be coming, or not) if you remain with the insight about What You Are, then you cannot escape this.

If you go with inference about what this is, if you go with a judgment about what this is, if you put a label to this is or what you are, then The Unlimited One is again playing the game as if it is something contained, something with boundaries; as if there are two, as if there is a ‘me’ that has something to do to come to this discovery.

Like I was saying last time, our starting point is very important. So, in this moment, very quickly, if I just pick up the seeker identity and say ‘Oh, I’m Ananta and I’m looking for freedom. Can you please give it to me?’ …, it’s already a position. And all positions belong to something which is ‘notion-al’ which is just a limited idea about myself. But before I took that position, before you take that position, what is here…, without a judgment, without a label?

The conclusion is not important. In fact, it will only seem to get in the way. What is here? All this phenomenal play, phenomenal perception is here; okay? Can we keep it this simple, or do you want to break it down into world, body, emotion, sensation, pain? Can we all just put it in one bucket and say ‘All of this is phenomenally perceived. It is one bucket of perception; one bucket of experiencing. Let’s leave it at that’. Then, what is here that perceives all of this? No matter what the content or quality is, what is it that perceives it?

No experience needs to happen. Just this little bit of looking. Just a little bit of ‘self-audit’ (in a way).

So, the phenomenal world is here. Do you exist? We said the phenomenal perception, all of that, is here. Now, do you exist? Or not?

Even if you were to try to say ‘No’ you cannot step out of your existence and say ‘No’. Even your ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ will come with the basis that you exist. Even if you say ‘Oh, I don’t know if I exist’ implies that there is the ‘I’ which you are confirming exists. You see?

Now, that which exists…, it has been told to us (by parents, by the voice of this mind) that that is a limited entity, that that is something enclosed in this body or it is the body itself. Or, if you want to become fancy about it, then you can say it is the body/mind organism. Actually, there is no such thing. There are a set of phenomenal sensations called the body and there is a set of phenomenal sensations called the mind. There is no such organism which is the body/mind. This is just a convenient way to refer to this mish-mash of sensations. You see? And that’s why sometimes terminology becomes important. Many times we repeat this term ‘body/mind, body/mind’ so much that it can feel like there’s an actual entity which is the body/mind. Actually there is no such thing. All that we are perceiving is a set of sensations.

Can we call them sensations? All our perceptions, for a minute let’s call them sensations. So, everything that is experienced is experienced within this space of sensations. It’s very simple what I’m saying. Everything that is experienced is experienced as a phenomenal perception. For a while, let’s call it a sensation. Now, whether it is this voice you’re hearing, whether it is a computer or a phone in front of you that you’re seeing; all of that, let’s say for a while that it is a sensation. Everything that is in your experience, let’s call it a sensation.

Now, in this set of sensations, if we didn’t have the ability to divide it up and say ‘this is me’…, some sensations, like the sensations of the body, if we didn’t have the ability to label this ‘me’…, these thought, ‘me’…, the sound from the street ‘not me’…, the people who are sitting in the zoom meeting ‘not me’. But actually, inside, what is it? It’s just a group of sensations as part of one phenomenal experience.

We only ever experience one experience. The appearance of this phenomenal play is always only one. So, in our perception, there can be a hand here [holds up his hand] and there can be another body sitting over there. So, if it did not apply the label ‘me’ to this hand, and ‘not me’ to that body, then I can see that it’s just one experience, one appearance.

So, this notion of separtion, this notion of a separate identity, a separate ‘me’ is the conditioning. It is what we have become conditioned to believing. Children are not born with this. We learn it from parents, and then we learn it from this mind itself.

It is supremely simple, because if you were to open up this body, you will not discover an entity ‘me’ over there that is the owner of this body. And many different bodies you experience; this body, then you have a dream in which you are saying ‘I had another body. It was visiting another realm’. So, in the design of this play, it is the sensations of this body, it is the visual of this body and it is the fact that I seem to be visiting this realm through these eyes that make it seem like I am an entity enclosed in this’.

But if I was to just remain with my insight about what my true position is, you will find that all experience (the sound of this bird, the sound of the traffic on the road, the hearing of these words coming out of this mouth), all of this is happening within my own Being. Nothing is happening outside of this.

So, ‘the mind’ has one primary function; that is to convince Consciousness itself, its own creator, that ‘Consciousness, you are limited, you are an identity’. I Am, which is unlimited, Being which is unlimited, this Am-ness…, the job of ‘the mind’ is to convince It, to convince You, that ‘I am some-thing’. And that something is just a notion.

The sensations of your body are experienced within the same space that you’re experiencing these words, that you experience the visuals of this world. In fact, it is these visuals which keep changing. The content of the play which keeps changing. But this space remains unchanging. Even if your mind is making a spatial visual out of what I’m saying, even that space which is the mind is conceptualizing is within the space of You. And very simply, we’ll say ‘Where are you experiencing these words?’ … ‘They are experienced within Me’. But this ‘Me’ is not something contained in this body.

Where is this body experienced? The sensations of the boundaries of this body are also in that same Being, in the same ‘existing’…, in the same existence. So, if for 5 seconds, we lose the ability to believe a notion about ourselves, to believe our limitation in any way, you will see that you are experiencing your fullness. In fact, even when you’re believing ‘notions’ you are experiencing your fullness, but it seems like you’re taking a more limited perspective about yourself, you’re believing a more limited perspective about yourself.

And that is why this is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness; one Being experiencing all these sensations including these words.

So, oneness (or ‘not-two-ness’ which is what Advaita stands for) is not a position to aspire towards, is not something that we will ‘get to’. It is our fundamental true nature which cannot be changed, actually. So, this oneness is unchanging. And all of this phenomenal play relies on the existence ‘I Am’…, on My Being to exist.

But the story from the mind always will be that you are a limited entity, a limited object, contained within this phenomenal experience. And it will always tell you that to say that you are All There Is is blasphemy, is arrogance. And yet, very simply we say ‘God is everywhere’. That doesn’t sound like blasphemy or arrogance, but it is saying the same thing. All There Is…, is One…, and that One is You. Now, what label you put on that, whether you say Consciousness, God, I…, that is alright. It’s a matter of interpretation.

So, the real importance of the question ‘Can you stop being?’ is to make this clear that this existence is unstoppable in that way. In fact, it is this Being, this Consciousness, which is the light and screen, the director, the producer, the actor of this entire phenomenal play. But we don’t have to rush to these insights. All that is important is to have a simple insight about what you are in this very instant, without coloring that insight with some judgment or inference.

What is your insight about yourself? All these are words which are not meant to be believed. They are just provocations for you to check whether these words are true in your own experience.

And also as you’re watching, observe the tendency of the mind to rush to make an inference about what you’re experiencing.

Okay, let me expand a little further on what I mean. So, there’s this ‘In Silence’ sign. [A glossy photo sign, about 2’x2’ with a photo of a sunflower and the words ‘In Silence’ on it]. So, when we’re looking at this flower, we’re just looking at the flower. It is our immediate perception. Now, very quickly, the mind can come in and offer up its inferences about it. ‘Oh, it’s really big. It’s merging with the white of the words. Is this for real? Is this on photoshop?’ You see? Something. The insight about it was much clearer. Without even the label flowers, it’s immediately perceived.

So, in satsang (especially satsangs like this, which are this direct) if we can keep inferences aside for some time. And if we are to use words, we use words just as plainly as possible to describe our direct insight. Then, you will find that That which is being pointed to is just plainly obvious.

And then, if You decide (and ‘You’ means Consciousness decide) that you are not done with this play of ‘I am something-ness’…, you’re not done with that belief yet; you like the taste of it…

It’s like before we started sharing, we were talking about dentists with the ones who are here [in the satsang room] and I was telling them that some day when I’m brushing my teeth in the morning, I see some craters in my teeth and I know it’s all the late-night desserts which are causing them. [Chuckles] But I’m not done with the taste of that. [Laughs] So, I keep playing with it. It’s like that.

So, as you are getting this insight about what You really Are, there will come this invitation from the mind to continue to play as if you are ‘something’…, as if you have a boundary, a limitation, you have a name and a form. And it is completely up to You-as-Consciousness to continue to play with that notion, or to allow that notion to just come and go.

But at least after hearing these words, after checking for yourself, you know that it is part of Your play. Because in this moment, I Know that You Are That which I speak of.

You Are That which I Am.

[Silence]

The only difference in the outer expression of a Sage and a seeker is how Consciousness is playing out in those expression and whether it is playing as if it is believing these limited notions about Itself.

That’s why I’m saying that another way to inquire into What You Are is to just say: Okay, what is here?

And we already saw that there is a phenomenal world which includes all phenomena. Is it just that? Or are You also here?

Are you a phenomenal object?

Are you an appearance?

Are you something which comes and goes?

And if you are an appearance, who are you appearing to?

If we are limited by time and space, then we must be another appearance because appearances have duration.

If you are just an appearance, who is aware of this appearance?

Who is aware of your existence?

So, that brings us to the second part of what I want to share now.  There is no rush to get into this. And the great Sages say that (and Guruji [Mooji] says that) Consciousness is the dynamic aspect of My Self. What does it actually mean?

This, that we just explored, was an exploration of your Being, of Existence, of Consciousness. Now, the Sages have also said that even this, which is all there is, All There Is, is an aspect of the Self. To the mind, this is completely strange. [Smiles] What is going on? How can All There Is be an aspect of My Self. It’s a beautiful pointing. Because it is bringing us to the discovery of the Self, That which is aware even of Existence. And It awakens as Consciousness, and yet That which awakens as Consciousness remains as it is.

Notice that there are no two here. It is Your own Self, which is awakening as Being; I playing as I Am. Pure Seeing now playing as Seeing and Being.

So, it awakens as Consciousness…, and with Its awakening is the awakening of the waking state, of the dream state; any state where I Am. And yet, the second part of the phrase is very important. Although It awakens as Being, It itself continues to remain as It was.

That is why in Indian spirituality it is said: From the fullness, fullness arises. And with the arising of this fullness, fullness continues to remain as it was.

So, the Self-I. The truest definition of I is the Self. This Self-I remains unchanged, untouched. With the arising of the Being, with the arising of the waking state or the dream state or any other state, meditative state. And it is this Being Itself which is coming to the recognition of Its own Source. And it is Being Itself which has the ability to believe Itself to be something emotional, something limited.

So, That which is aware even of Existence…, That which is aware can say ‘Yes, there is an experience of sleep state, there’s an experience of dream state, there’s an experience of waking state, there’s an experience of turiya. (If you don’t know the term [turiya] forget about it.)

(As I was saying the other day) just like saying ‘Yes, I was in the garden, I was in the playground, I was in the street, I’m in this room’…, in the same way, all these appearances and disappearances, I am aware of.

This I…, which to the mind is unfathomable, and yet, to You, is your very nature. So, if I ask you ‘Are you aware now?’ you say ‘Yes’. [Silence] But you do not have a phenomenal experience of this Awareness. Your mind will come and say ‘You are only saying yes because there is a perception of phenomena. Because I am aware ‘of’ something, therefore I must be aware. If something was not there, then I would not say I am aware’. But this is not true. Because if I say ‘I am sitting on the couch’ I am aware of both sitting and couch.

These are subtle things. I don’t know if they land really. [Smiles]

What is our experience of awareness?

And That which has the experience of awareness, what is the nature of That one?

We say: ‘I am aware’.

Is there an ‘I’ and an ‘aware’?

Or is ‘I’ and ‘aware’ the same?

And please, please, please don’t let the mind convince you that this is some abstract, mental,  intellectual discussion that we are having. I’m speaking very simple things. But it needs some peace, some silence, to hear these words.

I ask you: Are you aware now?

You say: Yes.

I ask you: Which is the ‘I’ which is aware?

Is that separate from the Awareness itself?

All that is needed is to allow this question to hit home and not buy a judgment or an answer about this. Just stay with your insight about this.

So, all that we have said in said in satsang today is that: I exist and ultimately even this, I am aware of. I am aware that I exist. In all these words, all that we have said is this.

This I is Awareness Itself. It is the Self.

Another thing I want to say is that for many who still believe this idea that ‘Okay, I come to this discovery, I am Awareness and this Awareness is really no-thing. So, there is no real point in this world to come to this discovery. What’s the point? What is it bringing for me?’ So, many of you still have this limited notion of ‘the me’.

Even in this ‘What’s in it for me?’ I want to tell you that as Consciousness is coming to the recognition of its Source, Consciousness is experiencing Its own divinity. It is the fragrance of this divinity that separates the words of a Sage from the words of an intellectual. All of this is only shared for Consciousness to remember to recognize Its divinity; Its divine, unlimited existence. Because nothing has changed for Awareness. The Absolute continues to be the Absolute. Nothing really changes fundamentally for Consciousness. Nothing changes for the person because no person has ever existed. Only in the play of Consciousness…, Consciousness believing Itself to be a limited entity, and Consciousness recognizing Its divinity have a different flavor, have a different fragrance.

And from the Absolute perspective we can say that nothing has ever really happened. But when life events and the mind convinces Consciousness that it is something limited and it’s all messed up then it’s not easy to say these words: nothing has really happened.

So, satsang is introducing you to your God-Presence, to your Existence which is the light of this universe. What a wonderful Existence this must be if even Its creations are so sublime. Satsang is so that Being can taste Its own Being…, for You to taste Your Presence.

Visit the altar of your Heart right now and tell me if you find a person sitting there.

What is at the core of your existence?

All outer pilgrimages, all of our spiritual endeavors culminate in this bowing down at the altar of Your own Presence, at the altar of Your own Heart.

This is the holiest of all pilgrimages. As Papaji [Poonjaji] was saying in the video the other day ‘The river returning to its own Source’.

All our running around in circles…, all of that is fine as far as the play is concerned, but it if it is the Self that the longing is for, if it is for the realization, the recognition of the Truth that the longing is for, all that is needed is to be still.

Q: How will the Advaita teaching help when the temptation or pull to indulge in the addictive behaviors is just too strong?

A: ‘How will the Advaita teaching help when the temptation or pull to indulge in addictive behaviors is just too strong?’ Usually I say that whatever responses that come from here [referring to his own appearance] are on the basis of direct experience. So, let me not presume that I understand exactly how it must be to have this kind of addictive behavior. But I can point out one addictive behavior which is common to most of humanity, if not all of humanity, and that is the primary addiction which is an addiction to our thoughts, addiction to the mind.

It might seem like it is not that harmful. It might seem like ‘It is light, it is not too bad’. But the minute someone is asked to let go of this mind, to be empty of it, many or most experience withdrawal symptoms; wanting to rush back to a concept, because it feels too open and naked to not know (to not know in the sense of to not mentally know; to not have a conceptual position).

Even right now, just notice about yourself as you are hearing this answer, how a conceptual position would be getting formed over there, either in support of this kind of answer or in opposition to it.

Now what we are talking about is the neutrality which is neither for or against. This is the not-knowing which allows the truest Knowing to emerge. And this ‘knowing’ is a very strong addiction because even for a few moments as we are left without a conceptual position, it can seem too open. And many experience a lot of fear because of it.

So although openness, or to remain open, or allowing, or neutrality, or emptiness; all these might seem like very simple ideas. But as you start to taste your openness, your neutrality, you will find this addiction to a mental concept about yourself. It can be popular concepts like ‘Oh, without the mind, without knowing anything, how will you live? How will you pay your bills? What if you become a serial killer? What if you just lay in bed all day’ These are the most popular ones. ‘I need the mind. Without the mind, God cannot run this life’. You see? But they can be also very subtle. Especially for those who are in satsang, our spiritual position can become very strong.

I would much prefer it that we don’t even call this ‘Advaita’ because even that can become a position. What if we just say that we are just speaking from experience; this is not a form of teaching? Although I have nothing against Advaita, but I am saying that the subtlety of taking positions is this. You see? So, we allow the dropping of all reference points to ourself on the basis of any mental knowledge.

In my experience, at least, this has been the strongest addiction. And many who have been to satsang have also confirmed this; that this mind has been the strongest addiction of Consciousness. That is why when Guruji [Mooji] sometimes says ‘This is a rehab for God Himself” …, it’s like God Himself has one [addiction].  Consciousness Itself seems to have gotten addicted to its own creation (called the mind) …, and has also designed this, all the spiritual paths and satsangs, for rehab from this.

Why is it a rehab? Because if it is not an addiction, I would need to have only one satsang actually. [Chuckles] I could have one satsang and it would be clear to say ‘The mind is talking while some limited entity that does not exist’. Boom! Finished! [Chuckles]. The fact that we’ve had more than a thousand [satsangs] now is because of the persistence of this mental addiction.

We know that this conditioning doesn’t drop off so easily because everything can become a condition. Even our spirituality, even the pointings which are heard, even a statement like ‘I am Awareness’ can become a position if it is just taken mentally; or ‘I am Consciousness’ or ‘I am That’…, any of these.

So, because the mind also derives its smartness or sneakiness or cheekiness from the supreme intelligence of Consciousness, it is a Divine hypnotizer. And that is why we come to satsang over and over again, to look through these tricks of the mind, to look through all the specialness and arrogance. Because for the mind actually, the openness of ‘not-knowing’ is maybe even worse than death, so it resists it with all its might by giving you some concept to hold onto.

Again, I apologize because I feel your question was not so much about the mental addiction, it was about the addictive behavior. But I hope it helped in some way.

Q: Namaste Sir, Namaste Guruji

A: Namaste

Q: I just wanted to ask a very practical down to earth question. Sometimes when I’m going inward, you know, the bodily attachment remains. It finally boils down to feel as if the body is the end of it. But the ultimate, the important notion is that one should get rid of this body and mind-thinking in the whole mechanism of…, in the whole process. Can you please tell how do I get rid of this nonsense-body totally from the final stage and be in the inward-looking stage without any trace of any bodily attachment?

[silence]

A: Thank you, thank you, it’s a good question. We looked at this a little bit, even earlier, so let me reiterate. So, when I said that the dance on this side [phenomenal side] will continue and our approach is not to try and push it away but to have an inclusive approach to it (not to be in denial of it; to have an inclusive approach to it) I have to be honest and say I have not met anyone in this life who is completely free, completely free from body attachments. And it is definitely not the case here also. [Smiling]

Sometimes the ‘100%’ idea becomes the trouble: ‘I want to be completely free’. And the way you called it ‘nonsense’ I saw the sense of aversion about it. The sensations of the body are here and because they seem so intimate, you see, my advice would be not to try to push them away. Include them in your Being, include them in your Seeing and yet try look and See what is beyond this.

[Sound in the background] That sound, this sound and the sensations of the body, are they appearing in two different spaces?

[Silence]

Q: When I start contemplating and looking inwards and I’m able to be in a no-thought stage and then finally when I come to the stage, when I go to the next stage (saying ‘Okay, I’m able to be without thought and I’m able to watch’) then when I look at that (‘Who is watching all these events?’) sometimes I get stuck at the body level (‘me’ the body’). Sometimes. It’s not always in the contemplation I get that kind thing, not always, but the whole purpose of the inward looking is getting defeated by that. I feel very frustrated many times in that way. I would like to get rid of this, honestly.

A: I understand your frustration that’s why I’m suggesting that…

Okay, let’s do this together and see at which stage both of us get stuck. The ‘proof of the pudding’ is in the eating so let’s do this together. And that which you call defeated, let’s see if the sensations of the body make something defeated or take us away from the inquiry.

So, for some time don’t try to push away the sensations of the body. In fact, experience it fully. Whether it is your arms, your legs, your chest, or head; any part of your body, allow yourself to experience it.

Is this the extent of all the phenomenal experience you can have right now?  No.

You will see that even this voice that is being heard, coming from the mouth of a seeming Ananta, is also experienced. The other sounds coming from the road are also heard. If you open your eyes, a lot of this phenomenal content is also experienced.

My advice is to let all of this be, including the body.

Now the question is asked: What is it that is aware of all of this?

[Silence]

So then, when the sensations of the body seem to come up and the mind says ‘this is me’ ask yourself: Who witnesses both this sensation and the testimony from the mind, saying it is me?

Find out who witnesses this.

So, instead of it seeming like a defeat, the appearance of these sensations can add fuel to the Self -inquiry by allowing you focus on something and ask the question: Who is the witness of that?

And you will notice (about the mind especially) that as you allow it to come, then it runs out of moves. If you keep resisting the mind, then it can seem to be very troublesome. You see? So, if you tell the mind ‘Tell me ten things you want to say right now’ then it will run out of things to tell you very quickly. As you stay open. But if you say ‘Mind, don’t speak, don’t speak, keep quiet keep quiet’ it will say ‘Hello, hello’. It will keep coming.

So, if you can make this little bit of switch in approach and allow all movement to happen, then we are not concerned whether the room is quiet or noisy, or whether thoughts are coming by the dozen or the mind is quiet or whether strong sensations are there; everything that is coming. And as Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] advised, ask: ‘What is it that is witnessing this?’ And the more it comes, the more it is the opportunity to ask this question.

Nothing can defeat you because the witness is unchanging.

It is the mind’s trick itself which says ‘This should change and then I will be able to do the inquiry’. My position with respect to ‘The body must change and then I will be able to do the inquiry, my thoughts should reduce and then I will be able to enquire’…, all of these are also tricks of the mind only. Because the Self is not going anywhere.

So, instead of using these as obstacles, you use these as opportunities.

When a strong sensation is there in the body, what is it that witnesses this sensation?

Is that also a sensation?

What is the most primal sensation? It seems to be the sensation of Being.

What witnesses even that?

So, as you are open, as you are allowing, then all of these that seem like big obstacles…, because of our conditioning actually, it is because of spiritual conditioning where we have heard that body must be set aside, ego must be killed. You see? These kind of things. So, then they become the conditions. But I’m saying that without condition, allow everything, and just look at:

What witnesses that?

Q: Thank you. Thank you very much. I got a very useful clue from you. Namaste, Namaste. Thank you, thank you.

ONE GOLDEN TECHNIQUE

There’s one golden (maybe the only) technique (if there is such a thing) to come into the recognition of the Self. What are we discovering? What is the most primal experience? Or let’s start with saying ‘What is the most primal experience we can have?’ That I Am.

So, if this is the most primal experience we can have, and it’s been glorified for centuries as the primordial vibration…, it has been called Atma, Consciousness, God; all these various terms have been applied to This…, would it be too much to ask whether it is possible to go beyond even this?

The sense that ‘I exist’ is a common substratum to all existence. You cannot have the experience of any phenomena unless first I exist. Isn’t it? I must exist.

And stay with the words that I am using because very quickly the mind will try to add on things to what I’m saying and say ‘But I, as what?’ That’s exactly what we will look at.

But at least this much, we must all be able to agree on by now. That I am existing is undeniable in this moment. Don’t go to the mental concepts. Those are just ideas about yourself. You will find that: I exist…, without any sense of what is after ‘I exist’…, ‘I am what?’ That can come later.

So, if anyone that is here feels that they don’t exist, that’s a conversation maybe we can have after this one. But let’s start with this simple, natural presumption that this is the basis of all existence…, that I exist.

Then the only experience we will have of the Self (the Self as we refer to as the Self) is to find out the Source of even this existence. To find out the Source of even this existence is a direct pointer to that which we are looking for…, if what we are looking for is Self-realization or Self-recognition.

So, it’s right there; right there. What is the Source of my existence? I don’t feel we can get much more direct than this. One or two questions, maybe.

So now, if you notice your mind is trying to take you on some side-track and trying to bring your prior knowledge into this, then for some time allow it to come and go; don’t be bothered with it. Stay with my words as much as possible.

What is the Source of my existence?

Another way of asking this question is to ask: Who is the I that exists? Which one is that one…, that exists?

Feel the question in some way. Say ‘I exist. I am’. Which is the ‘I’ that exists?

[Silence]

Don’t be quick to jump to conclusions. And especially those who have been in satsang, don’t feel like ‘I know the answer’. We are not going to rely on any prior knowledge. As if it is our first satsang, a question has been asked:

Which is the ‘I’ that exists?

The only thing valuable here is not a concept, but is your insight about this. And even if the mind is resisting with all its might and these words are sounding like rocket science, (but actually they’re very simple words) or if they’re sounding completely abstract, allow these feelings also to remain or to come and go; as they might be.

Which is the ‘I’ that exists?

Allow this question to percolate your Being, to permeate your Being:

Who am I…, that exists?

[Silence]

And don’t have any pre-conceived notions about what should show up. What does it mean ‘don’t have’? It only means if some notions should show up (are showing up) then you just let them go. It doesn’t matter if you’ve studied which form of spirituality, how much satsang you have attended…, all that we have heard or learned, don’t bother with it for some time.

[Silence]

I Am. I exist.

Which ‘I’ is this one?

[Silence]

SOME CLUES

Staying within the framework of this question, now I’m going to start giving you some clues.  Staying within the framework of this question, I’m giving some clues.

And again, I’m repeating that don’t add your interpretation to what is being pointed at, because the words themselves are potent enough to point you to where they need to point you.

We’re trying to look at ‘Which is the ‘I’ which exists?’

So, if the sense of existence is here, and all that is perceived is moving in front of it, in my Being…, (we can say it’s contained within my Being or perceived in front of my Being…, this is just terminology; don’t get confused by it) …, all that can be perceived is here, moving. [Holds up one hand and keeps it still, and places other hand in front of it, making motion] Time, space, light, sound, gravity, everything is here. What we are looking for is what is on THIS side: [Places the hand that was moving on the OTHER side of the hand which is stationary, behind it, as such]

So, for this side [Changes the moving hand back in front of the stationary hand position] it can be allowed to move in its own way for some time. It can be allowed to move in its own way for some time. But the exploration is: What is that which is on the other side? [Places the moving hand on the OTHER side of the stationary hand; behind it, as such] What is here? This is what we are looking at.

[Holds up stationary hand only] This, in the middle, is the sense of my existence. I Am.

The nature of the mind is that it can only report on that which is moving on this side: [Places the moving hand in front of the stationary hand].

What is on this side [Places the moving hand behind the stationary hand] it cannot fathom. So, you know that the mind will not be able to help you in coming to a recognition about This. It might offer you a concept about This, but truly can’t help you with the recognition of insight about This. This insight has to be more primal, it has to be more direct; without the interpretation of the mind.

So, if you lift the veil of phenomena…, is there nothing else to ‘I’? Is there nothing to else to ‘I’ if we keep all phenomena away?

And as I was sharing last time, a simple way to look at the same exercise is you put everything that you perceive in a basket called ‘seen’. Everything you perceive, you put in a basket called ‘seen’. ‘I see this’. So, it goes into the basket. ‘I see the world’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I see the body’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I perceive my breath’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I perceive my thoughts, emotions’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I perceive that I am aware of even the sense that I exist’…, so even this goes in the basket.

So, now, are you completely inside the basket? Partly inside the basket? Or not inside the basket at all?

A very simple exercise. Everything that you see, put it in the bag or basket of ‘seen’. What is left outside the basket now?

[Silence]

Some of you might be having the experience of the non-phenomenal aspect of yourself, when all the dynamic aspects of yourself have been put in the basket. And the impulse sometimes can be that ‘I need to hold onto this’. The impulse can be that ‘I need to hold onto this’. But instead of that, today you try to put this in also.

Jump into the basket. Even that which is aware of every phenomenon, can you put that also in the basket? Jump in, completely! And see if there continues to be an awareness, a witnessing, of this basket in spite of all your attempts to jump in.

Can you be contained in this phenomenal bucket? Or is there the greater aspect of you? (And ‘greater’ also I know is a spatial term, so it doesn’t fully apply, but you get the sense of what I’m saying.) Does the Source of all phenomena itself get fully contained in the phenomenal basket?

So, now we looked at two clues, isn’t it?

We looked at the first clue, which is to say that everything that is perceived, all phenomena is on this side. [Places the moving hand in front of stationary hand] Can we look at what is on this side? [Places the moving hand behind the stationary hand]

And another way of looking at the same thing was to use the basket metaphor, and to say that if everything that is perceived can be put inside this basket, or encompassed in a label called ‘seen’…, is there something which cannot be encompassed in this label?

Let me give you one more clue. And this one you’ve heard from me before: the sense that I exist. If some are you are still struggling to find the sense of existence and it seems like a mythical entity right nor or something…, you know my favorite question for this is to: Try and not be. Can you not be…, right now?

In your attempt to not be, you will encounter your own Being, the Presence which is just present, the Being which is just being; Consciousness Itself.

There are two ways to approach this question. The first way, when I say ‘Can you stop Being?’…, the first way is you could say ‘No, of course not! What kind of question is that? I can’t stop Being’. And that is just a mental answer.

The second way to approach this question is to actually make this attempt to not be. Don’t be for an instant. Don’t exist.

[Silence]

And you will notice your own Being, your own Presence.

So, you are now aware of your own Presence. That’s why you say ‘I can’t stop Being. I’m just here’. So, when this answer comes from a place of insight, then it is a useful answer.

So, now the third clue is: Which one is aware even of this Being?

What are the attributes of this one?

What are the qualities?

What is the flavor?

What is the size or shape of this one that is now so naturally, effortless aware of your existence?

[Silence]

Again, it is not about the reporting. It is not about the right answer. It is to use these questions to come to a direct insight about the unchanging Self.

[Silence]

As you are asking yourself these questions, you might find that something starts fluttering on the phenomenal side; it could be the mind, it could be some emotions, it could be some story, it could be the body, it could be the outside environment. So, let all of these things just come and go. Consciousness itself has the power to do this. It is only playing as if it needs this direction.

So, whatever has to jump around on the phenomenal side of it [Holds up stationary hand and waves moving hand in front of it] we let that jump around, with no sense of impatience or rush. But you stay with the question:

What is aware of my existence?

[Long Silence]

For some of you, the mind might be screaming and saying ‘There’s nothing there, there’s nothing there! What’s this about? Is it not enough to just know it is nothing?’ Actually, no. To know it is nothing is to actually be in denial of it. Because the idea of nothing is like it is an empty glass; the absence of phenomena. What you will discover about yourself is that this is a FULL no-thing-ness but yet without attributes or qualities.

I completely realize that these words don’t make any sense to the mind. And yet, as you come to the recognition of this, you will know what I am pointing to. Because although it is empty of quality and attributes, it is not the ‘nothing’ of the empty room or the empty glass. It is the no-thing which is the Source of all things, which is the Source of your own existence. It is Self-Aware.

The Source of existence implies the Source of all intelligence. The Source of all that can be conceptualized, that can manifest, is your own Self.

So, don’t fall for the concept for nothing…, although it is no-thing. Come to the insight about this no-thing-ness which is the Self.

[Silence]

ON WHICH SIDE OF CONSCIOUSNESS DOES ‘I AM’ WANT TO PLAY NOW?

On which side of ‘I Am’ does Consciousness want to play now? On which side of ‘I Am’ does Consciousness want to play?

This does not mean, by the way, that once the recognition is available, once the recognition is made about the Source of existence, it doesn’t mean necessarily that the play of resistance will stop or reduce. The play of existence can continue. In fact, it truly becomes a play only when there is a recognition of the Source. Until then, as much as we like, it doesn’t truly seem like a play because it can seem like I am a phenomenal entity contained in this phenomenal world and therefore can be attacked, hurt, affected by the phenomenal appearance and the disappearance. Once you See that your Self is the Source of all phenomena, and yet at the same time remains untouched and unchanging by any phenomenal movement, then you will start to enjoy this like a play.

Also, the mind can come with a trick and say ‘This means I must be in denial of phenomena’ or something. In fact, we are saying the opposite. Be completely inclusive of all phenomenal appearances, but just look beyond. You don’t have to push away any phenomena. Include them in your experience. But also look beyond.

And how to look beyond? Those three simple pointers that I shared today already.

So, this is the direct path to the recognition of the Self. And most of you, having been in satsang, […] most of you have had insights about this. The direct insight of the Self (for most of you) does not seem like something that is an abstract concept; unachievable.

So, all of satsang, all of this sharing is actually for the idea of the transcendence of the limited idea we have about ourselves. As we are coming to the discovery of That which is prior to all phenomena, which is not constrained by any boundary, we are realizing our Self to be That which is prior even to Consciousness. Consciousness Itself coming to the recognition of its own Source (in its play of delusion and Self-recognition) is all that is happening now.

So, as you’re coming to the recognition of your Self, the mind will continue to make offerings to you; pointing you back to your limited nature, reminding you that ‘You are a limited entity, after all’ in spite of your recognition otherwise. The mind will continue to make these appeals to you and come up with things like ‘Yes, it is okay for satsang but what about the real world?’ It wants to convince you that the limited self actually took birth and you are that. You see?

Subtly or blatantly, in most messages from the mind is contained the story of our limited-ness. And in this story, you are a limited entity trying to get to the Self. That is why the recognition of what you are Right Now is important. Because no matter what the life circumstances might be, what the age of your body might be, anything…, what the quality of your emotions might be, what thoughts may be…, coming for all of us in the room and online, the insight about the Self is the same. Therefore, this must be unchanging.

The Self is ever-present; even more than ever-present actually because Presence itself is subject to the Self.

It is your limited ideas about yourself… (and when I say ‘your ideas’…, this is just Consciousness referring to Consciousness Itself; Consciousness playing with ideas of limitation) posing as a limited entity, posing as a person, posing as if it is just the mind, in this leela that is being played.

So, satsang is nothing but these two aspects, which are completely inter-linked, which is:

The recognition of what is truly here: What is it that I truly Am? (even before Am?)

and

How do I pose as if I am something limited? How do I pose as if I am a person?

And the dissolution of this belief in this idea of limitation is inter-linked very strongly with the recognition of the Self. And the recognition of the Self is inter-linked with Consciousness giving Itself the space for this recognition by not believing Itself to be what the mind is saying.

That is why the recognition of the Self and the letting go of limited concepts, letting go of our thoughts, are the two main aspects of direct satsang in this way.

Now it is up to You-as-Consciousness. How will  you pose next? Will you pick up a pose? Or will you continue to remain with your insight about what you Are?

And Consciousness is completely free.

[Silence]

It is more amusing and ludicrous to presume that you are entity playing on this side [Holding one hand stationary while the other hand moves in front of it] of your existence (like a body mind entity or whatever terminology you want to use) …, and it is more natural actually to See that you are That which is aware even of this existence.

And that is why Consciousness has given Itself this Divine hypnotizer called the mind, which has convinced us for most of our existence that ‘I am just a small entity playing on this side of my existence…’ [Holding one hand stationary while the other hand moves in front of it] ‘that which can be perceived’.

So strong is the hypnosis that the question to really check: ‘What is the basis of my existence? Who am I really? Who is the ‘I’ that is existing?’ seems like a very rare question. And if you look at all of our lives, we will see that due to some grace, this question came into our lives.

If your mind is saying ‘I haven’t understood anything. [Chuckles] I’ve been sitting here for one hour and Ananta, you’ve been speaking, and I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about’…, don’t worry about it. As Guruji [Mooji] says, the good way to look at it is that you have bypassed the mind, because you’re still here.

TO WHAT CAN I SAY ‘NOT THIS’?

I’ve often called the sense of existence a portal: A portal which goes both ways. So, on this side [Holds a stationary hand position and waves a moving hand in front of that hand] is this whole phenomenal play of emotions and thoughts and stories and life and family and relationships. And I’m not saying that they must vanish. Attention can also go to it. But just a little bit of attention on what’s on this side of the portal; just a little bit of looking at ‘What is the ‘I’ … in ‘I Am’…?’

I know all of you have been in satsang long enough to hear this question:

What is the ‘I’ in ‘I Am’?

Why is it ‘I Am’ and not ‘You are?’ We say ‘I am aware of the sense of existence’. It’s almost objective in a way, isn’t it? So, why don’t we call it ‘You are’? ‘Oh, Presence, you are’.

Why do we say ‘I Am’? We’re aware of it. Yes, what do we call it? ‘I Am’. How come it’s ‘I’?

Even if the questions don’t make sense, that’s okay. Let them land somewhere. How come it is ‘I’?

This ‘I’ is actually a much-maligned word. [Chuckles] Especially in spirituality, we have maligned it completely and said ‘I, I, I is the ego’. I like very much when Guruji [Mooji] explained and said ‘This I…, it’s actually just a label’. It’s not only an ‘I’. It’s a chameleon ‘I’ which is used for the entire spectrum.

He says ‘The devil says I, and God says I’. What does it mean? The mind posing, the poser, the voice of limitation, the ego says ‘I’. We use the label ‘I’ for the body also. We use the label ‘I’ for our feelings…, ‘I am feeling’…., for our thoughts, for any sensations. We use the label ‘I’ for ‘I Am’. And we use the label ‘I’ also for the Source of ‘I Am’.

We also use the label ‘I’ for our attention. Many times in satsang we say ‘It was completely clear with you, sitting with you. It was so clear. But I get stuck in tendencies, I get stuck in my relationship, I get stuck’. Which ‘I’ gets stuck? Many times we are referring to our attention. ‘I get stuck with my thoughts’. Referring to our attention also is ‘I’.

This ‘I’ is a label. But what is the truest ‘I’?

What is the ‘I’ to which I cannot say ‘Not this’?

Most of you know about the practice of ‘neti, neti’. Just like we say ‘seen, seen, seen’. I see it, I’m the witness of it. I’m the subject and not the object. So, I’m not this: neti. I see this. I am the subject in this, not the object. Neti…, I am not this, not this, not this, not this.

Does there come a point to which we cannot say ‘Not this’?

That point is where ‘this’ is no longer phenomenal …, and yet, it is still ‘I’.

So, actually this is the 4^th clue. It’s all the same, actually. But sometimes we need various approaches to get to the same thing.

What is it that we cannot say ‘Not this’…, that is so originally, inherently ‘I’ that when we ask the question: ‘Who is aware of this?’ it points to This Itself.

It is so originally and inherently ‘I’ that when we ask the question ‘Who is aware of this?’ it points back to Itself.

This is the point of where you’re coming to the non-phenomenal recognition of your Self.

Some of these words that I’m saying today, as I’m hearing them also, I feel like it would be very nice if you read them. Because if you hear them, it might seem like it’s just a bunch of words and they seem a bit complicated. But if you read them at your own pace, slowly looking at that which is being pointed to, then you will see the simplicity of them.

So, I’m saying: If we say ‘Who is aware of this computer?’ …, it takes us beyond the computer. ‘Who is aware of the body?’ …, takes us beyond the body. ‘Who is aware of thoughts?’ …, takes us beyond thoughts. ‘Who is aware of emotion?’ …, takes us beyond emotion. ‘Who is aware even of existence?’…, takes us beyond existence.

‘Who is aware of this awareness?’… This is the point. You see? It takes it back to Itself.

This is the Self which is unshakeable, unchangeable, unborn, undying, un-everything; [Chuckles] un-label-able, un-everything.

Q: There are so many different life forms right now. At what stage does this thought start? Amoeba…?

Ananta: I would say…, it’s tough because there are various studies on this also actually and for a long time the presumption has been that only this human form has these thought patterns but this is completely now getting blown away in research. So, it is truly impossible to say at which level this concept of the energy construct of thoughts starts to play.

Q: So, before thoughts, before that starts playing, are they having this sense of existence, of oneness?

A: Yes, I would say so because you don’t even have to go to other forms, just look at children when they are very young, when we were very young. Without the limited concepts, all of this was just an appearance, including the body. We took that example of how you buy a toy for the cradle of a child and you put it there with great excitement [indicating hanging it overhead] and you expect them to play with that, and something goes, the hand goes, in that direction and then the child starts playing with the hand itself. For them, that is as much of an appearance as that new toy.

So, this concept of a limited existence has to be sold by Consciousness to Itself in the form of thoughts. Even right now (why go to other forms and even children?) even right now you are unlimited. Your experience is that of being unlimited. Right now, if you don’t refer to a concept of it, what is your experience?

You will experience some sensations of the body but if you don’t go to the concept of them, you will find that even the sensations of the body are happening in a space which is You, which is your Being. It is your direct experience.

That is why I was saying that I am not talking about something that will happen, I am just getting us to recognize that which already IS.

If you don’t go to a concept of ‘What Is’ you will not say that ‘My head is nodding’. It is just nodding on its own. I cannot say that these words are being spoken by me, like ‘I am Ananta’. They are just arising; they are being heard the same way that they are being heard seemingly- everywhere.

So, all of this is a movement within Consciousness. And for Consciousness it is not an effort, it is happening effortlessly. The world is moving effortlessly, including the movement of our body. Consciousness is Being effortlessly: I Am. I am aware of this ‘I Am’ effortlessly. So, all the effort only belongs to a limited concept of myself. If I have to do or not do; both are an idea of limitation. If I want or don’t want (desire or aversion), both are concepts of limitation.

None of this truly applies to your Presence, Being. And it definitely doesn’t apply to That which is aware of even this Being…, which is One, actually.

Q: “Who is this ‘watchman’ talking to? Who is the audience to this voice?”

A: It is Consciousness Itself. Who else is here? It is only Consciousness. Consciousness is tasting itself if all the various aspects. It’s tasting Itself as time and space, as the objects within time and space. And one of the objects within time and space is this energy construct called thought. So, it’s tasting Itself also as a thought.

The only audience is Consciousness. The only player is also Consciousness. There is nobody else here.

Why? Because that’s how we started satsang: ‘Why this?’ (Isn’t it?) ‘How does Consciousness (as if it wanted to play as a limited entity) go about playing this play?’

We talked about this before. We said ‘If you go to a movie, and it’s completely un-relate-able…, just to see random people doing random activities with no cause and effect, no story, no pattern; just you can’t find anything to relate to. Then you as the audience will say ‘Okay, let me connect these head sets and have seats that vibrate. Let me feel it more intimately so when things are happening on the screen, you know that you feel sensation’. So, Consciousness gave Itself these intimate sensations to interact more with this movie, to make it more relate-able.

Even then, watching…, sensations…, it had to create this construct that ‘Something is happening to me; this is about you’. So, even that construct (body sensations are happening, Consciousness created all these things, a movie screen, all of this is happening) and still, the thoughts are even coming by, but the ability to give meaning to that thought or to believe that thought is not there still. All this is moving. Everything is still happening. But that latching in (what Guruji [Mooji] calls ‘Logging in’) power is not there.

So that ability to give meaning, to give true value, to give relevance, to give assent to what this energy construct called thought is saying is that which we call ‘belief’. And belief is the power to identify with that which is false; to pretend to be something that you’re not.

So, now what happens? The movie is still playing, sensations are happening, thoughts are coming, but now because the power to identify, the power of belief is there, what happens? Something is happening in the play [making hand movements]… ‘No, no, no’ [Pushing away motion with hands]… ‘Yes, yes, yes’ [grasping and pulling in, motion with hands] because you then have this power to believe that you are something limited as a participant in that movie and you’ve become involved in a limited way. Thought is coming and saying ‘Yes, yes, it would be good if I go to satsang every day…, I-this-limited-body/mind-which-is-not-free must need something’…, ‘It would be good if you don’t go to this, if you don’t go to that’. So, it’s all still moving…, as part of what? As part of the play. Thought is part of the play, part of the design of the play. But now, because of the power of identifying, the power of belief is there then we can latch onto these concepts which are telling us the story of us still being a limited entity. And then the movie can become a lot more real where we can feel ‘It is happening to me’…., ‘to me’.

I, (which was this projector, the screen, the script-writer, the director, the producer, everything) can now become a character in this movie; or at least pretended to become because of this compulsive voice and the power that I’ve given to Myself, which is the power to believe it, to give it meaning and say ‘Yes, this is true’.

So, then Consciousness plays like that until it is done with this game…, done with this movie. It Sees all of this is just a movie: I’m done with this movie. Then it starts to question: ‘Is it really true, what this mind is talking about? Is it really true? Because many things it says are completely wrong; this fear, these feelings of guilt, unworthiness’. Then for some of us, this question starts to come: ‘But who is it talking about, this voice?’

Then the question appears: ‘Who am I?’ Why is it that this question is so powerful? Because we find that all that this voice is saying is not applicable to the reality of what I Am. And the movie continues to play anyway. What is my true position in this?

And for many of you, you have come to See this many times, so over and over we say: You’ve recognized the reality of what we Are.

And yet, this voice and the power of belief is so compulsive in a way that it will become an addiction. It’s part of the play itself, in the script of the movie itself. That’s why in satsang we talk about all these things and we say it in different-different ways, over and over so that you keep checking again. And when you hear, sometimes it just [Snaps fingers] clicks: Yes, thought is nothing but an imaginary construct moving on the screen of Consciousness. But Consciousness has also given itself the power to believe what this thought is saying, to pretend as if it is an individual, as if separation happened, as if it is just a body/mind.

And now it is divesting itself of that. For some faster, for some, little by little; in some expressions of Itself, that’s what it’s doing in the play of Consciousness.

Consciousness IS.

I want to use a metaphor. Suppose what you find for yourself is that there is an infinite house, housed with Knowing. (This is a metaphor.) You find that there is a house which has no beginning and no end.

Now, within this house suddenly there appears somebody who pretends to come and says “Namaste. I’m the watchman of this house. I’m the watchman or the security guard for this house. And I’m familiar with this house. I will guard it for you. I’ll watch this house. There are these others, they might come and attack you. So you have to be a little careful. But don’t worry. I’m on the job. And at the boundary of this house, it’s starting to wear away a little bit. You need to exercise this house.”

What we found is a limitless house, in your experience. But this watchman says, “Sir, you need to save up some gold coins because soon this house will need to be painted. I’m a very good watchman.”

So, it starts off like this, the watchman’s voice…, who then becomes the master of the house. “This is what you must do. This is what I need. I need freedom. I need money.” So, this which started off as if it is a pretend-protector now becomes a dictator (in a way). And the Being is in its own play, of course, and then starts to conform to this voice.

In satsang, all I’m saying is: Send this watchman on a leave for a few days.

Then you’ll notice the reaction from the watchman. A typical reaction. He’s saying, “But what’s going to happen to you?” [And the thought comes] ‘What’s going to happen to me if I send you somewhere?’

But I’m saying: Let’s see. Let’s just see what happens.

The watchman’s voice will come, “But who will protect you? You’ll just die. You’ll dissolve. You’ll fall. I’ve been holding you up.”

I say: Let it go. Just for a few days. At least for a few minutes. Just let it go.

[Watchman says]: “Yes, yes, but I have some practical things…”

[I say]: It can wait for a few minutes. It’s the voice of the watchman itself that’s saying ‘I need this watchman’. Let it go. Because we’ve had this false sense of security from the voice of the mind…, for many, the fear can come; fear of dying, fear of dissolution, fear of emptiness, fear of nothingness.

The watchman quietly whispers to you, “It’s all your dissolution. It’s good, what’s happening.”

Even this…, just let it go. Because this watchman was making a concept out of everything that was being seen, reporting every single experience and labeling it, saying ‘Good/bad…, this is for me/this is not for me’. It was doing this.

And now, it is still trying to be relevant and saying, “Yes, yes. This is part of the process of spirituality. He doesn’t understand anything about me. This is what is really happening to you.” You see? It stops looking at discrete things (because most of us have stopped labeling so much) and has now started more becoming ‘process oriented’…, where it is saying, “I’m letting go of my mind now. 50% I’ve let go, but the 50% remains.” It can use it for all this, about the spiritual progress. See? So, this also becomes like a crutch. The watchman (metaphor) playing in a subtle way.

Can we fire even this one? We don’t know what is happening. If we even took away the crutch that ‘I am making spiritual progress, I’m getting somewhere’ …, this can push some buttons for some of you because much of this has been about spiritual progress.

Suppose we didn’t even know this; we didn’t know anything about anything? No watchman to whisper in our ear. And if it whispers, we don’t listen.

For some, some discomfort can come. But don’t even interpret that or label that as anything. For some, some joy can come. Don’t even be concerned with that. Don’t make a label out of that and say ‘This feels good!’ Let all that happen on its own. But you continue not to know anything at all. This way we drop our conceptual knowing. No crutches, no support, no security.

Q:  If it is all Consciousness, why is (it) making (it) so difficult to realize itself?’

A: Now ‘difficulty’ is from the perspective of Consciousness? Or from the perspective of Individuality?

Q: Individuality.

A: So, from the perspective of Individuality it is difficult. Now, from the perspective of Consciousness, is it difficult or easy?

So, what is your question? Why is Consciousness making it so difficult to realize itself? Isn’t it? Because it is tasting the ending of the delusion also with as much juice as it can extract from it.

Now if you keep looking at it from a personal perspective that ‘I have to get my Freedom’ then it can seem like ‘What kind of sadist is Consciousness? Why is it so complicated?’

I have spoken about it a few times also, where I have said that if there was a build-up to the movie, all this was happening, then you were told that ‘One day in 3 months you will come to your final Satsang’ (you were told like this) ‘and in that Satsang your head will explode and it will only be left with light; there will be this big light which emerges from you’…, so, this becomes the expectation for Freedom. Then I say ‘It is done now. Nothing needs to happen’. Now that expectation that this [head-exploding with light experience] should have happened will start playing a part… ‘But I want that’. And that itself, that expectation itself becomes a struggle. That which is the struggle is for a desire which is not original to you.

You say that ‘It is struggling to recognize itself’ (or whatever the terminology you used). But like the first day when you came, I asked you ‘Can you stop being?’ You said ‘No, I cannot stop Being’. What did you recognize? [Silence] You recognized that you exist. Being is here. This is the recognition of Consciousness. As simple as that.

Now, what is difficult is your ideas of what it must mean or how it should be. Suppose you did not buy any of those ideas. Can you tell me what is difficult? [Silence] You see? So ‘difficulty’ is also a part of this play, the engaging of this watchman, the engaging with this energy construct called mind.

I was saying that this movie has a build-up, build-up, build-up and it suddenly abruptly ends. Those are the most irritating ones. You go and it builds-up and suddenly ‘The end’. The new age directors have it like that; the independent film makers have it like that. They want the audience to come up with the ending or whatever appeals to them the most; or there was no ending.  You see, just like this, we have played this game as if we are personal, personal, personal.

So, even the divesting from that is happening, with that. The build-up has happened, it wants experiences, it wants to go from Satsang to Satsang, it wants to hear various things, it wants these moments of insight, it wants these moments of clarity…, and then falling back into limitation. It is playing with even the disengagement in a way.

Because Consciousness is not in a rush.

Consciousness is not bound by time.

Time is bound by Consciousness

You will find that in all of this, when the perspective changes…, when the perspective changes by the will of Consciousness itself from a limited entity to that which is Beingness itself (or even to that which is just aware of being untouched by even the coming and going of Being) then these words like ‘difficult’ / ‘easy’ will lose their meaning because they don’t apply at that level. They only apply IF you are a limited entity. Nothing is difficult for God.

And the fun of the trick is what?

The fun thing is that you are THAT, right now.

What happens when you hear this?

You are THAT, right Now.

For some the mind comes and says ‘Yes, but.., but…, but’. [Laughter] Now meaning means what it is saying after the ‘but’…. You say ‘Yes, but it still applies to us’. The most common one is ‘Yes, yes, yes, it is fine in Satsang, BUT what about when I leave? Then I cannot be God. Then I must be person’. It does not complete the sentence like that but it implies that.

But can this ever be true? And if you were to check outside Satsang, what do we find ourselves to be, truly?

You are never not THAT.

Because THAT is Unchanging.