BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

Q: Now when hearing in the space with closed eyes, two different sounds are being perceived; one at my end, the local surrounding and one from your end, the side traffic. Something can distinctly sort them as two different sounds; one local from my side, and the other from the recording being recorded now in Bangalore.

A: Now, the sounds can be distinctive. Just like in the experience, there can be the hearing, there can be there words, there can be a traffic noise, there can be various different perceptions happening. The only confusion is:

What is ‘mine’ in this?

What makes the ‘me’ in this?

What makes this local to ‘me’?

Is it the quality or the intimacy of a sensation that we allow that to become ‘me’?

Without this interpretative voice, without the voice of the mind, we would not have this idea of me. We would not say that ‘This is my hand’ as much as we would say ‘This is my universe’. It’s the same feeling of belonging.

Now, we have been taught to separate this ‘me’. All your experiencing is a set of sensations in the same space of Your Being. We have been taught how to differentiate between ‘me, my sensations, and the sensations that are outside of me’. A baby does not have this. And that’s why one of my favorite examples (which can explain this so clearly) is that if you are a parent or if you have seen have a child, you will notice that you buy them a toy when they are really young, really small, and you hang it above the crib and you keep pointing to this child ‘Play with this toy, we bought it for you’ and the child’s hand is reaching up there and he starts playing with the hand!

So, it makes no difference to the child whether the playing is happening with the toy or the hand because that distinction of ‘me’ and ‘outside me’ is not there. Then our parents taught us ‘Your hand, your face; make these actions, make these faces, walk like this, talk like this’. So, we’ve been taught how to individualize a certain set of sensations, calling them ‘me’ and how these are outer…, ‘me’ and ‘the other’.

Now, what you’re Seeing is all your experiences, all your perceptions, are all happening within You. But if you’re still feeling that ‘within me’ must mean ‘within the body’ then this can seem confusing.

Where are the sensations of the body happening? Our conditioning is so strong that when I say ‘within you’ you might be thinking ‘within my body’. I’m not saying that. In the space of Your Existence, when You exist, all these sensations are there, all this perception is there. All of this; this is the screen of Consciousness in which the body is playing, and all other lights and sounds are playing. The mind has taught us; whether it came through this, that which you call ‘my mind’ (these thoughts which are so intimate) or from the seeming thoughts of others, it is the same mind which has taught us that this boundary is ‘me’ and this outside this boundary is ‘not me’.

So, how do you define ‘me’ and therefore, how do you define ‘local to you’? This distinction is starting to fade away. You will notice that all boundaries are being experienced as sensations within You. But this You Itself, you will not be able to find a boundary for.

So then, these ideas which are really ideas of belief about ‘me and other’ / ‘me and mine’ (which is the source of all suffering) will start to fade away. There is no such ‘me’ who could have a ‘my’. There is no such ‘you’ that is the owner of that computer. If there’s an owner, that owner owns everything in your perception. There are no-two. And more and more, you’re finding who You are.

So, don’t struggle with this insight. I see many of you wanting to struggle with this insight, trying to see the oneness of the world. You don’t have to do anything of the sort. Just see what You are. Are you a thing? Are you an object contained in this world? If you are an object contained in this world, then you would be an individual doer, you would be the individual experiencer. But what you are finding is that You are not an object. All these objects are just perceptions within You.

So, come to the Seeing of Your non-objective Truth and all these insights will be so apparent. But as long as the condition is that ‘I am object in this world’ then these insights will seem like a struggle. Stay with the main question, which is ‘Who are you?’ Then all the confusion about ‘me and mine’ and ‘you and yours’ will start to fade away.

Who is aware of this world?

Who is aware of the ‘me and other’?

Who is aware of your existence?

Stay with these questions. Then all of this Oneness will become so apparent, so clear, without any struggle. All confusion, remember, all confusion is confusion about who I am. It may seem like the confusion is about whether the world is within me or outside me, whether the world is real or illusion; who am I in this world…, but the real confusion is about who I am. Once you resolve that, then all these insights will be so naturally clear. Once you See that You are not an object, once you See that You are beyond time and space, once you See that You are All There Is then you will find that all that is moving in time and space are just aspects, appearances, within the dynamic aspect of You.

So, find out: who is aware of your existence?

What is the shape and size of that one?

Where is it located?

This will resolve all the seeming-confusions about the world. You don’t have to struggle with any of that.

It’s the same for the question of doership also. The question about ‘Whether I have free will or not’ is still a mistaken identity. Is there such a ‘you’ which could have anything at all, including free will?

When you find that there is no such ‘me’ then you find that there was just a mistaken notion that there is an individual doer or an individual experiencer. ‘What should I do?’ or ‘How come this is my experience? …, all of these come from a mistaken notion about who You are.

Once you find that You are not an object in this world, once you find that in Your true nature You have no qualities or attributes, yet You are the substratum of all qualities and attributes, then all of this, all of these insights, will become clearer and clearer.

What we are saying is that, Right Now, what You Are, just become aware of this.

And don’t interpret it. Don’t judge it in any way. Let all judgements come and go.

Everything for this recognition is already here.

You don’t have to move, you don’t have to change anything at all.

What is naturally present here?

Before all sensations, I Am.

Before all experience, I Am.

Nothing is done to create this ‘I Am’ and nothing you do will change this ‘I Am’.

Your original nature will remain even if you wear the mask of personality, personhood.

Nothing in Reality is affected by it because this is what You Are.

And in the play, as you are not picking up these false notions, the Truth is completely apparent…, and it is wordless. You don’t have to say that you are aware of your existence here. It is naturally there. No proclamation is needed.

So much good news for you. As the false is dropped, the true is apparent.

And you don’t have to do anything to the false.

Can anything be simpler than this?

If you’re still holding onto that same old notion ‘Oh, the trouble is because it is too simple ‘ forget this one also. Forget it! It’s served its purpose. You saw that it is simple now, don’t be enamored by it. Forget it. [Smiling]

Don’t take any position about anything at all. Because all your positions are just the mask of God. Any position that you take is the mask of God; of God pretending to be a limited entity, God pretending to be only this and not that.

Then you will see that, in this entire appearance, you will not be able to draw a dividing line saying ‘This is me and this is other’.  And yet, even worldly conversations can continue. The words can arise from your mouth saying ‘This is what happened to me. How are you today?’ That naturalness does not have to go. But truly, you will not be able to find this separate ‘me’ and you will not have the notion of ‘another’. All of this has just been conditioning. We have learned this. Now we are unlearning it. Unlearn your favorite notions, because your favorite notions are pretending to create this small ego out of you. But your Reality is just here effortlessly.

Meet me without effort; then we meet as One.

Meet me without pretense; then we recognize our true nature, true Being.

Don’t pick up ‘the seeker’ for a bit, don’t pick up ‘the questioner’ for a bit, don’t pick up ‘the one who has understood’ for a bit.

Remain naked, open.

Don’t know anything.

Here the Truth is clear.

Your devotion is independent of your pretense of being a devotee.

Your love is independent of your idea of being a lover.

Don’t take any position with anything at all.

Then you will find that naturally everything that needs to happen (even in the worldly appearance) is happening.

You need not do nothing about your hearing. It is just happening.

You are doing nothing about your sight. Sight is just there.

Because these are just the automatic, spontaneous arising of your own Existence, your own Consciousness, which is effortlessly present.

If God is effortlessly present, what more do you want to add to that?

God is Here. And this God is notion-less.

Whatever notion you might have about God, forget about it. We don’t use them in that way. Pretend it is a new word you are hearing, without any cultural, religious or spiritual conditioning. It is a word for Your Being, Your Existence.  It has no limit, no boundary, no shape, no size; just I Am.

What is aware of this ‘I Am’?

Who am I?

You are noticing that there is no trouble when you are remaining notion-less, concept-less.  Therefore, the only trouble is [the idea that] ‘I am addicted to picking up a notion, addicted to picking up a concept’.

Now, the Sages have prescribed two methods (which are one actually but they seem like two methods) by which to get rid of this addiction of picking up a notion.

The first is surrender. Let go. Whatever notion might be coming from the mind, you allow it to just come and go. Surrender it to the higher power. Whether you call that higher power Guru, God, Self, it doesn’t matter. Know that That One takes much better care of everything than your notion about yourself ever can.

Allow all notions to come and go. Even if you pick up a notion, in the next moment it is gone. Don’t even pick up the notion that ‘Oh, I picked up this notion ‘. It is all gone; fresh, Now. This is surrender. Allowing Consciousness, Your own Holy Presence, to be the doer and the experiencer of all things, without getting any individual idea involved, is surrender.

Now, some of us, we don’t have this temperament. We’re not able to. We’ve heard it often enough but it doesn’t seem like ‘I can just let go’. For those ones, the Sages have said: whatever you pick up, whatever idea you pick up about yourself, inquire and see whether that is true.

‘I must be a better spiritual seeker, I must find freedom.’ So, we can inquire into these notions and check whether such an ‘I’ actually exists. Can you find the one who finds freedom? You cannot. And because you cannot, you See that this notion is false. So, in this way, we play the game of delusion and breaking the delusion, coming back to the Truth.

The Truth is naturally present Here in your notion-less existence.

Now, remain in silence in your notion-less existence.

And if any notion becomes meaningful for you, See if you can just hand it over; surrender it.  And if you can’t seem to hand it over, then you inquire into it as I have just explained.

Taste Your Being, taste Your Existence, taste Your Presence.

Completely open; allowing all things to come and go, all thoughts to come and go.

All emotions are allowed, all sensations are allowed.

And these instructions are not just for this Satsang. It is for life.

In this play, as you get more and more used to your unadulterated Being, notion-less Existence, you will not ask for the limited self again.  The ‘But, I…’ the ‘But, this limited I…’ will not seem attractive to you anymore.

Whatever has to be Seen will be Seen naturally.

Whatever has to be heard will be heard naturally.

No conceptual struggling about anything at all.

Now you cannot suffer.

The highest Being that you will ever encounter is Your own Being, Right Now.

[Silence]

Your own Being, Your own Presence, is completely complete.

[Silence]

There is nowhere to go, nothing greater that you will find.

[Silence]

All experiences are nothing compared to this Being. They are just glimmers of light and sound within Your Being. You don’t have to go clamoring about any experience whatsoever.

[Silence]

Taste Your Presence. This is Your Atma. This is Consciousness.

[Silence]

This is what is naturally situated in Your Heart altar, naturally present in Your inner citadel.

[Silence]

That which has a name, that which has a form, has never been here; is just a play of light and sound, coming and going. It has no meaning, no reality, for the Reality of You.

[Silence]

So, in this seeming-journey from head to Heart, this is what is changing. We’re changing, exchanging, that which is limited, which has a birth, which has a duration, which has death, for That which is timeless, unchanging, unborn, undying.
What a gift you are giving to YourSelf! Your own Being! Being is returning to Its own Being.

The mask is being thrown away, the pretenses are now falling. Some are falling naturally, some are falling with tantrums, some are falling all different ways; but falling they are. [Chuckles] If you’re in Satsang with this openness that we talk about, they are falling.

Now, don’t make any spiritual concept into a mask. Don’t pick up any spiritual knowledge. Don’t know anything about anything. And You will still exist. In Your unassociated Existence, there will continue to be peace and joy; naturally, with no feverishness about them.

A: Okay, let’s do one thing; did we play this game? [Laughs] Everyone will expose their favorite ‘but…’ I am saying that Right Now God is Here (or whatever your favorite term for God is… Consciousness, Being, Atma). It is Here, You are present, as Presence Itself.

Now what is the ‘but, but, but…’ that you usually exchange this for? Type it out on the chat, and I will read through some of it. And in this, you’re not just typing it out, you’re actually offering it up…, to be gobbled up in the fire of this Satsang.

‘I am Awareness, but…’

‘I am Consciousness, I am God, but…’ [Laughs]

What are you willing to exchange God for?

Okay let’s jump into some of the responses I’m getting.

Q: ‘But I…’

A: ‘But I…’ is one response. ‘But I…’ must mean but ‘I-personally’? Does it mean that? That ‘I’ is something personally?

Q: ‘I, but I…’

A: [Chuckles] ‘I, but I…’ It’s not really a ‘but…’ So, unless the two ‘I’s are pointing in different directions; one ‘I’ is to the Self, ‘I am….but….I’.

Q: Small ‘i’.

A: Small ‘i’. Okay, is that a small ‘i’? Yes, that’s a question.

Then another is:

Q: ‘But, I’m not good enough.’

This is the good news. Here is the good news I have for you and I have repeated this many times. There is nothing to do. Nowhere to go. You cannot be ‘not good enough’. You are That Itself. There is no scale of worthiness. You cannot be ‘unworthy’. So, this one I’m happy you offered up because it is very common. ‘I’m not good enough.’

Then the next one is:

Q: ‘But, I don’t feel that.’

A: It is not a feeling. It is not a feeling. What tells you that you don’t feel it?  How do you know this ‘I don’t feel it’? What is aware that you don’t feel it? That is You.

The one that is aware ‘I feel it’ and that is aware ‘I don’t feel it’ …, that one is You. Is it dependent on any feeling?

So, it is not a feeling; it is not a thought.

This is very good you exposed this also because many are waiting to ‘feel’ enlightened. You don’t have to wait to feel enlightened, there is no ‘feeling’ of enlightenment. There is only the feeling of dropping all that is false. So, that is happening on its own. But you don’t have to feel a certain way.

[Next one]:

Q: ‘But I still identify with an idea I have of myself as a person.’

A: Yes. This is the primal addiction. To ‘identify’ with the idea means to give that idea some belief. It is impossible to identify unless the idea has belief. You cannot identify with an unbelieved idea. So, as we are withdrawing our belief from these ideas, we are Seeing that they’re not true.

Then this habit will also break. So, this is the meaning of ‘Let them all come and go, don’t serve them tea’. This is what it means; let all ideas come and go, you don’t serve them your belief. Then you will notice that to identify seems more and more of a struggle, and naturally even your attention is not going to these thoughts as much as it used to.

Good one. [Next one]:

Q: ‘Not sure if it’s a ‘but…’ but there is a sense of dissolving.’

A: ‘Not sure if it’s a ‘but…’ but there is a sense of dissolving.’ So, is there an idea that ‘dissolving must be complete and then I will be free’? Just nod your head if it is. No.

So, whatever is dissolving is dissolving. You are Here, no? Yes. So, this You is already complete whether dissolving is happening or not. There is nowhere for Consciousness to get to. God does not have to become God. ‘I Am’ will only be ‘I Am’. But that term ‘only’ does not apply.

[Next one]:

Q: ‘Why does my attention, awareness, flow to the personality level and not rest in the ahamkara, the ‘I Am’?’

A: Usually, if I would use the term like ‘ahamkara’ I would refer to that as the idea that ‘I am something’ …, ego, ahamkara.

So here, what you’re saying is, ‘Why does my attention flow to the personality level?’

Even if it flows to the personality level …, so what does it mean ‘personality level’? Does it flow to the sensations of the body; attention? You can elaborate a bit more on this.

Even if it flows here, attention is going to body. If it is going to thoughts, what happens? Nothing happens till you identify; till you log in. Actually, the ahamkara is not yet created in the ‘I Am’. The ahamkara is created when you make it ‘I am something’ …, when you identify.

She said, ‘I-ego, I mean.’

A: Yes.  ‘I… [Stretches out arms and hands-gesture of open-ness] but I…’ [Brings in the outstretched arms and joins hands to show contraction] Isn’t it?

‘I…. [Stretches out arms and hands-gesture of open-ness] but I…’ [Brings in the outstretched arms and joins hands to show contraction] You know what I am saying?

‘I…, but I.’ This is it. This is the primal confusion. If you were to put it very shortly, in a very short way it would be this: ‘I…, but what about I?’ Isn’t it?

So, in this moment there is only ‘I’, but the mind [comes] and ‘But what about I?’ The big ‘I’, unlimited ‘I’ and the small ‘i’ …, being concerned about the nonexistent one which is the constant message from the mind saying, ‘But what about this…, but what about this…, ‘ saying ‘you invested so much in this small ‘i’ so why not see it through?’

‘Maybe it will win one day. Maybe the small ‘i’ will become God, one day. If you just give it enough money, and the right relationships and the right health of the body, and give it this enlightenment to top off the icing on the cake, then you will be the perfect I.’

This is the story. Nobody has found it like that. Nobody has got it like that because there is no such thing as the perfect body. There is no such thing as the right amount of money and there is no such thing as the best relationship. The foundation for the icing on the cake is just not there. So, we keep hoping that this representation of ‘i’ (this little ‘i’ which we pretend that we are) will one day become this unlimited One; that the mask will become real.

When you put it in these terms, then you see that it’s just not possible. ‘The mask will become the real.’ It cannot! The mask will only be thrown away. It will only be discarded.

But I like this very much.  ‘I… but i’. Big capital ‘I’…., but what about little old ‘me’? That is the thing. And this little old ‘me’ is the one that has a name, it has a particular form. The mind comes and says, ‘Okay, at least with this one you know its name, you know its form. This big One, you cannot name it. It is the nameless One. You cannot find a form.’

And this can seem a bit scary initially. ‘At least I’m used to something here. I may fall into this unknown; the great Unknown.’ Once you start enjoying this Great Unknown…, and I am here to reassure you that everything is taken care of.  Because I know the fear of the Unknown is a primal fear.

So, This one, that you cannot put into a shape, that you cannot put into a size, you cannot put it into a color, You’re seeing that it is You. But something is scared of the unknown quality of this. So, we come back to this limited ‘i’. ‘At least I know some things about this ‘i’. It had a birth. It will have a death. This is what its name is. These are the parents of this one.’

For a while it can seem more reassuring that way; to hang on to this false one. But as you get more and more used to this taste of this…, that ‘I’ which cannot be known mentally, which cannot be seen visually, which cannot be heard through the ears; this ‘I’…, once you start reclaiming Your throne in that way, then You will never want to exchange it for the limited one; never want to exchange it for that which has a birth and death.

I like this. ‘I…, but i’.

[Next one]:

Q: ‘But my kids. I am a mother.’

A: Usually I say that I don’t get in the middle of the mother-identity, but here we can also ask this question: ‘Who is the better mother? Is it God, or is it the limited one?’

[Next one]:

Q: ‘The entire basket of Jesh.’

Yes. The entire basket of Jesh. The basket is gone. Gone…. till you put the next thing into the basket, when it all seems to reappear and you buy the next notion about ‘Jesh’. Then it seems like the entire basket is back. All our notions seem to be so accessible once we buy one notion about yourself.

[Next one]:

Q:  ‘I am Consciousness but I want to be no-thing.’

Yes, and you will tonight, when you sleep. [Chuckles] Till then, enjoy being some-thing. This primal some- thing; ‘I Am (without being ‘I am some-thing’) is the primordial vibration. In our culture, in Hinduism, this primordial vibration Om is revered throughout. At the beginning of every mantra, every invocation, this primordial ‘I Am’, the primal something before you become a limited some-thing.

So, this Being, in Its unlimited nature, is playing. Enjoy the taste of this Being because this is going. I said ‘tonight’ actually, but you do not know whether it’s going to be here after this moment; you cannot be sure of this. So, it is here to taste.

Let’s look at this again. ‘I am Consciousness, but I want to be no-thing.’ Yes, even this is already here. You don’t even have to wait for sleep state. That which is aware of this Consciousness is You; greater than Consciousness Itself. That, of which Consciousness is just an aspect, is You; already Here. You are this no-thing. Ultimately you can say, independent of the appearance and disappearance even of Consciousness, You are this no-thing.

Very good. [Next one]:

Q: ‘But fear is arising. Who will look after me if the mind is dissolved?”

A: This is also a very popular one. Expose it here and hand it over. Because this ‘Who will look after me?’ …, the ‘me’ that has been looking after you has not done such a great job otherwise you would not be in Satsang. If you were satisfied with how the ego has presumably looked after this life, then you would not be in Satsang.

There must be something, which is a deeper longing, searching for the stability of the Self; wanting to let go of this constantly changing mind. One day it likes this, another day it likes this. One day it likes the fact that ‘My partner is just my opposite; opposites attract I love them so much’ and tomorrow it will say ‘Why couldn’t my partner be more like me? Why can’t we get along more?’

These kind of plays is what the ego has offered. You’re looking for the stability of the Self which has no change happening. We’re done with this coming and going, this ever-changing. The ‘me’ that needs to be looked after, where is it now? Where is the ‘me’ that needs to be looked after?

You will find that only God is here.

Only Consciousness Is.

And You are That which is aware of even this Consciousness.

Good, good, good. [Next one]:

Q: ‘But I want my love life to be on my terms…’

A: ‘I am God, but my love life has to be on my terms.’

Q: ‘… silly, ridiculous. I trade that all for the peace of my own Being. Please burn this.’

A: Very good, very good, very good. Very good. [Next one]:

Q: ‘But waiting for the approval or conditions set by the ‘me’ to accept this holiness.’

A: Yes, waiting for the mind certificate. ‘Yes, yes, You really are the Being. You really are the Awareness, aware of Being.’ Waiting for this mind certificate which never says, hardly ever says ‘Yes’. Mostly it says ‘Just a little more. One more Satsang. One more retreat. One more insight and you are there.’

There are times that it says yes also, like ‘I got it@’ Just to turn it around and say ‘See, see, now you got it; now you’re losing it again. You lost it.’ So, drop this game today. Don’t care about a mind certificate. Gone, gone.

‘I am Awareness, I am the Self, but…’ What is the next one?

Q: ‘But…, I often forget it.’

A: [Laughs] ‘I often forget it.’ It doesn’t need to be remembered; doesn’t need to be remembered. It is beyond memory, beyond imagination, beyond any thought, beyond any sort of keeping it alive in our memory constantly. This is also a common idea that ‘I must remember it all the time, that I am the Self.’

You See it. Anytime there is confusion that arises, you check again. You see what You Are. You are the Self. No need to put it in any memory. In fact, better not to remember it.

Okay, this might sound a bit funny but: Don’t remember it! If you remember ‘it’ then you will remember some visual of Awareness; you will try to remember some experience of Awareness.

Do you need to remember something which is ever-present? So then, what will happen is the fear is that ‘But what happens when I pick up the wrong idea?’

Your insight will not fail you; don’t worry. As you are coming to this insight over and over in Satsang, when the confusion of the false, limited-self arises, don’t worry. Your insight will not fail you. A little bit of poking, a little bit of suffering, and you will turn your attention to the Self. It happens on its own; you don’t have to remember it. That sounds like too much effort.

[Next one]:

Q: Just ‘but’…

A: Just but. ‘I am Awareness, but…’

Q: …because none of the ‘but, so and so’ seems to stand up, yet there is still this uncertainty.

A: Yes. This is it. This ‘but…’ It’s another way actually of saying ‘i’. But ‘i’.

I feel like this is another way of saying it. Just ‘but…’ is actually that.

Q: Trust is a big issue. Could you speak about trust?

A: So, I can speak about trust a little bit from the Satsang perspective to begin with, and if it is another perspective that you are looking for, you can tell me that after I finish speaking about it from the Satsang perspective.

What I say initially is that when you come to Satsang, you don’t even need that which we call ‘trust’. What we do need is a little bit of openness. Openness means? That which is being shared here, that this can be inquired into or checked here. This is the play of Satsang, isn’t it? Some sharing is happening here (because what is happening energetically, that is happening anyway) but some sharing is happening. I’m saying ‘Check if there is a person sitting there’. Now, this much openness: that it is being suggested to check if there is a person sitting here; and we check. Just this sliver of openness is enough.

Then you will find that the insights that are being shared from here start to resonate with the insights that you are having about yourself. Then, that which we call ‘trust’ starts to develop. So, this is the development of trust.

Then you say ‘Okay, all these pointings (Don’t believe your next thought. Can you stop being? Are you aware now?) all these are bringing me to my direct insight about myself. What am I? I am not an object’. You see? So, in this way, trust in developing.

And with the developing of trust, what happens is along the way (as you are going to find more and more, this insight coming to you) you will find that this trust gets mixed with love. Love starts to arise. And when this trust is mixed with love, that is what we call devotion.

It starts with a little bit of openness, and becomes trust when you See ‘Oh, this is actually quite easy; this is quite possible. I can check like this’. Some trust comes. When that trust develops, and more and more you See that these insights are naturally coming here, then you will see that some love starts to arise. So, it is this trust mixed with this love which is that which we call ‘devotion’. In Satsang, it is this journey, this play of this journey of openness to trust to devotion.

So, this is from the Satsang context. When you start, you don’t have to necessarily trust me. But there must be some openness, at least to begin with, otherwise it’s just seemingly-blocked. So, if openness is there, then you will see that trust will come; and when trust is there, you will see that devotion will come. You don’t have to work towards any of this.

What do I mean by ‘that little bit of openness’? If I’m saying ‘Just look; go with your insight. Don’t trust your inference or your mental, conceptual judgment’ …, then if the mind comes and says ‘No, no, no. What is insight? Isn’t that another thought? Does he really know what he’s talking about? This doesn’t work for me’ …, all this kind of resistance will come. If we go with this kind of judgment, then we’re not yet open to this form of direct pointing.

So, what is needed is just one thing. If you’re open to hearing one thing in any Satsang, that much is enough for me…, enough of a foot-hold.

These are the words which are arising about trust at the moment.

Let’s take an example of this confusion. He says, “Father, the nastiness of my personhood is a fact. I can’t off-load this as an excuse to God.”

Now the ‘I’ in this must be coming from a limited notion about yourself who can then outsource this problem to God or not.

As long as you have this (nothing needs to be said after this) …, as long as you have this notion that you are this ‘I’ that can outsource it to God or off-load it to God or to surrender it at the feet of my Master, do it. Otherwise you are not listening. If you retain it with your individuality, the mind is only going to mix more and more muck into it. If you offer it up truly from your heart then it’s going to be burnt up.

Just drop it. Nothing belongs to you because you yourself are not a real entity.

Then all these afflictions, need for attention, need for approval, need for something, will start to feel funny. You will look at them and you wonder how they were given space, how Consciousness wanted to play with these for so long. But as long as you feel you want something and you want to deal with it yourself, you’re giving more and more belief to your individual identity.

At my Father’s feet, there is no room for ‘you’.

Once you surrender there, then only my father’s feet are. Only Your Holy Presence is Present.

All suffering is a form of confusion. If you are not confused, you cannot suffer. And what is this confusion? You will find that at the root of all confusion is confusion about who I am. As you are becoming clearer about who You are, you will find it more and more difficult to be confused and therefore to suffer. What makes us suffer? Let’s take an example. If I have a grievance against you, I’m suffering. You might not even know it, but my grievance makes me suffer. So, what’s a grievance? The idea that somebody did something to me that they should not have done. ‘Why do you come to Satsang and not listen properly?’ [Chuckles] So, the idea that I could believe in, which says that you are an individual doer and I’m an individual experiencer of your doing, can cause this idea of grievance and I’m suffering from that. But once it’s Seen that all is a movement of Consciousness, all is the movement in the ocean of Consciousness, all waves in one Being, then who is to hold this grievance against whom? If there are no-two, if there is only One, only God is, then who is doing what to whom?

So, grievances, resentment. There are other things I can suffer from. Pride. ‘I’m speaking really well today. Really good.’ So, the idea that I’m an individual entity who’s taking a particular action…, which is a lie, because these words are just emerging. From the same ocean of Consciousness, these words emerge. Then I make a limited notion about myself, that ‘I’m an entity who is doing this well’ or is saying this well; then pride can come, specialness can come.

So, all that we call suffering is basically a collection of all of these things; like resentment, grievances, pride, specialness, arrogance. All of these things collectively we called suffering. And at the root of all of this is a mistaken identity, a mistaken idea that ‘I am some thing, I am some thing which is doing and experiencing everything’. And ultimately, You See that You are no-thing. ‘All that is everything’ is also emerging within You…, but You are that ‘no-thing’ from which all things come. And as you are Seeing this more and more every day, then what can you hold on to? Which idea of suffering can you have?

Let’s take the suffering of the seeker, who is saying ‘Yes, I haven’t yet got it. I want it. How come this one who came yesterday, he came and he got it, but I’ve been coming to Satsang for four years, ten years, twenty years?’ You see? So, what is the root of the ‘I’ in that? You are still considering yourself to be an individual body/mind; who can never get it. The body-mind is just an appearance, just a wave in the same ocean of Consciousness. So, there is nothing which that can get; a thought will not get it, a set of sensations that we called the body will not get it. That which You have always been is (in the play) coming to Its own recognition of Itself.

If you consider yourself to be an object within time, then you will also have a lot of this confusion. ‘I saw that yesterday; I saw yesterday that I’m Awareness but today I lost it.’ It is not true. Right Now, what You are Seeing is the Truth. What you are interpreting is the false (it’s false because it’s a limited idea about YourSelf).

So, I trust what you are Seeing, not what you are saying. Because what you are saying is often colored, mostly colored, by the limited mind: the mind which is selling you this idea of your limitation. That’s why in Satsang more and more I’m saying: Stay with your insight, rather than your inference.

If, like a little child, you are able to just even report…, if you are doing the inquiry together, if you are reporting just what you are Seeing. ‘I’m seeing the world, Father. I’m seeing or experiencing this body.’ So, I say ‘Who Sees all of this?’ You say ‘I am. I am Seeing’. And I say ‘Who’s aware of this ‘I Am’?’ If you don’t use any prior knowledge, this Truth is apparent: It is I who is aware, but this ‘I’ is not an object; it’s not in time and space.

So, let all knowledge come and go, you don’t rely on it. You are Seeing this about YourSelf Right Now. You don’t need to wait for an awakening experience. This is Your moment of awakening, without it having to be an experience or something. Whatever the experience might be, You Are That, You Are This.

You don’t have to take a step. You don’t have to move an inch. Or movements can happen, but Your nature remains unchanged. All the clues are there, all the pointings are there. In this moment, You are Seeing Your Truth. You are not buying the ‘but…’ from the mind. And whether there is a ‘but…’ or not, You are still Seeing the Truth. All experiences are within You. Don’t buy the false story of your boundary from the mind; this is the addiction.

The ego is basically a presumption. Isn’t it? It’s a presumption which is very popular but just because it is very popular doesn’t make it true. Just like there was a popular notion some centuries ago that the world is flat. But just because it is a popular notion doesn’t make it true.

You actually have had no experience of the ego. You have never experienced your separation. You have only presumed it. This is very important to be shared, otherwise you might get stuck in the idea that ‘I am a separate person who needs to come to my God-Presence or who needs to become the Self’. But these things are not true.

What is your direct experience right now? It’s not that you are a person. The experience right now includes the experience of the body, the sensations of this which we call the body; a set of sensations actually. But just because a certain set of sensations is experienced, it doesn’t make You that.

What is it that You are, in this very moment? Where can we go for the answer? Where will you answer this from? If you go to the mind, the mind says ‘Of course, you’re the body. What are you? You’re just a body. Don’t try to be God or something’. If you go to your friends and relatives, mostly they will say that you are this person, this body. If you go to emotions, the emotions will again be interpreted as if you are a limited entity. If anger is arising, they will say ‘You shouldn’t be angry’. If lust is arising, ‘No, no, you’re supposed to be spiritual. Lust should not arise for you’. But what is the ‘you’ in that? It is, again, the limited identity. So, mind, you cannot go to. Outside, you cannot go to. Emotion you cannot go to. Pain and pleasure in the body, you cannot go to. What is left? Besides these things, is there something?

Often, I use this example: Suppose we were to put everything that is changing in a basket. You are outside the basket? Or inside the basket? Inside the basket, we’re putting the changeful. So, all that changes goes in the basket.

The world?

Sangha: Inside.

A: Body?

Sangha: Inside.

A: Thoughts, mind.

Sangha: Inside.

A: Emotions?

Sangha: Inside.

A: Pain and pleasure?

Sangha: Inside.

A: Anything left? What is not inside now? Have you gone inside?

Sangha: I couldn’t put myself inside.

A: Why? She says ‘I couldn’t put myself inside’. Why? So, everything that is changing, we put inside. So, what is left outside? Is that changing? Or unchanging?

Sangha: Unchanging.

A: Now, is this an inference? Is this something you’re presuming? ‘Oh, there must be an ‘I’ which is unchanging so I’m leaving it outside.’ Or, is this your insight? What about the seeing?

Sangha: Seeing is still there.

A: Seeing is still there. Is this changing? Or unchanging?

Sangha: Unchanging.

A: Unchanging. As long as ‘I Am’ this perceiving is still there.

Now, what about That which is aware of this seeing? Are you aware of it?

Sangha: Seeing is here. But I’m not sure if I’m awareness.

A: Yes. So, you don’t know whether you are that awareness. Is that the question?

Where did we come to? We saw that there is awareness of it. But ‘I don’t know if I’m aware’ because this ‘I’ itself is. And yet, if I said ‘This is not directly speaking from insight. It was she who had that experience but she just referred to an idea’. You’d say ‘No, no, it’s direct’. Is it?

So, it is You, but you don’t know that You. That You is unfamiliar to you. So, you are neither able to call it ‘somebody else’ nor are you able to call it ‘I’. Isn’t it? You’re not saying it’s somebody else’s. But you’re saying ‘Is it really I?’
Why is there that confusion? It is only because (so far, in the past, before coming to Satsang) …, where have we used the ‘I’? For the changing? Or the unchanging?

Sangha: The changing.

A: Now we’re listening to what the Sage has said. ‘The world, the universe, keeps changing. I remain as the solitary witness.’ So, now we are taking the Sage’s word for it and using it in our investigation, saying ‘Okay, everything that changes can come and go; but something witnesses it. Now, do I remain with the witness? Or do I go along with the changing?’

Sangha: Witness.

So, if you cannot come and go with everything that comes and goes, You must be the unchanging one. And, from our insight, what are we finding as the unchanging one?

Sangha: Awareness.

A: This Awareness. This Awareness.

A: You say that ‘This body is also me’. Now, why is that body you and this body not you?

Q: That’s precisely my question.

A: If you did not have the labeler, who is coming and saying ‘me, me, me; you, you, you’…, who is not labeling anything…, like for a child, an infant (you have a small baby) they don’t have this distinction until a particular age. Like, I take this example often; whether it’s the hand or toy, it makes no distinction for them. They are happy playing with the hand. We don’t have to tell them ‘Just play with the toy’ or something. So, they don’t have this idea of ‘me’ as separate.

So, can you be something which needs an idea to exist?

Q: No.

A: So, independent of this idea, of a label, what are you now?

Q: I am This. I am all of This.

A: All of which? Only a particular aspect of this, or all of this?

Q: All of this. I mean, not all of this, but whatever IS.

A: Yes, what is defining that boundary line? This is you [points to questioner’s body] but not just this [spreads arms to include all in the room] …, all of this.

Q:  How can I verify that?

A: Yes. That’s what we are doing now by Seeing that if this is an experience [points to his own body] and even that is an experience [points to questioner’s body] then what makes it ‘me or my experience’ verses that of another? How is it that all of this…, if I can have all of this in a dream and all of that is me in a dream (we accept that, when we come to this waking state) then how is it that when this seeming-state comes and the mind says ‘But this body is you, this name is you’ that we so easily accept that? Now, this voice that you are hearing, is it not being heard in the same space (as a sensation) as that which you call your body is being experienced?

Q: Yes.

A: It’s in the same space. Is there a boundary line between the experience of that body and this voice in that space?

Q: No.

A: So, right now, we can see that unless I went to the support of this labeler which has labeled this as ‘me’ and ‘you as another’ then this distinction wouldn’t be there.

Q:  But do we need to label them to make a distinction?

A: Yes.

Q: Is that not an experience?

A: No. We have learned this and our habit has become to interpret the experience as if it is an experience of separation. Actually, the separation has never happened. Now, you say that ‘It seems to me that these sensations of the body are very intimate and naturally it seems like this must be me.’ Okay, fine. Now, of your last five problems, how many have been about body?

Q: None.

A: None of them been about the body. So, if you are the body, whose problems are those?

If you say, for example (what the usual problems are) ‘I should have more money in the bank.’ If you are the body, what do you know about the money?

Q: Nothing.

A: Nothing. So, how can you have that money problem? You could have a problem which says that ‘I wish I had the perfect partner who would understand me.’ Now, does the body care about this kind of understanding? Or no?

Q: No.

A: No. So, who is that one? The beauty of what I am sharing is that even if you consider yourself to be the body, this one (the ego) is still not there; the one who cares about relationship, the one who cares about the money and the same one who cares about freedom also. So, I say that the body identification actually (although it is not true from my direct experience) but actually, it is much maligned. Even if you consider yourself as a body, you would not have all this trouble. It is because you consider yourself to be the owner of the body; the same one that is the owner of the money, the same one which is owner of the relationship, and the same one who is the seeker of freedom…, that one is the trouble. And that one is just an imagination; like an imaginary cat who is searching for its next bowl of milk.

So, if this is Seen, then you say ‘Okay, that one is imaginary but which one is true? If that one is imaginary, how can I find the real Me?’

Now, if you are looking for a solid definition of Real, can it be something which is changing, changing all the time? If this wall, I was painting it black, blue yellow green; everyday it was changing and then you were saying ‘Okay, what is really the color of the wall?’ What would be the answer? There can be no answer.

So, it must be the Unchanging One that we can call Real. If God itself was changing all the time, then how could you find that? So, the search is for that which remains unchanging; because we are looking for stability.

Q: Can you talk more about ‘the unchanging’?

A: Yes. What is the trouble? The trouble is that we had various beliefs about ourselves and they have been changing so we are not finding stability. We have had various ideas about how much I should have, which partner I should have, how should I live my life. But if we had one consistent idea, we would have just gotten that and been happy. But these ideas keep changing.

So, nothing in the phenomenal world has given us that sense of stability, unchanging-ness. And yet it is not an alien concept. Like, if I tell you there’s a 25-color rainbow; there is not. So, when I say unchanging, something recognizes what ‘unchanging’ could be. Yet, in phenomena, have you had the experience of that? Something deeper, intuitively, has a knowingness about this unchanging-ness. And usually you come to satsang because you are tired of attaching to that which is changing. You attach to this, you attach to that, but you could not keep it; or the idea of what you want is itself changing. That causes suffering. So, we come to satsang because we got tired of the changing, and we are looking for that which is unchanging.

Now, this is an exploration to see whether there is something which is unchanging or not.

So, it’s a real-life exploration. We can have various hypothesis. I can propose something, but you are not just meant to buy the answer so I am glad you are bringing this question. You are saying that ‘You say that You Are Awareness; that it is my experience. But it doesn’t seem like my experience.’ So, this is what we are checking.

It seems like our longing now is to find That which is unchanging because we are done with that which is changing because so much suffering comes because of that. We want to now go beyond that.

So, let’s have this exploration; and this is exactly what we were doing in using the basket metaphor. Although it’s a simple one, it’s an extremely powerful one. So, the world is changing, body is changing, thoughts are changing, emotions are changing: what witnesses all of this?

The same one which has witnessed many bodies (this which we call the waking body, that which we call the dream body; the same one which had the dream body, which has not a single cell in common with this one) …, what is that?

Now, the thought will bring knowledge to you; it will bring something which you think is scientific or something like this. But we are going beyond that and staying with our direct experience.

What can we say about this state; this which call the waking state? Is it a constant?

Q: It’s not constant.

A: It’s not constant, no? Now, will this body be able to escape this waking state and join you in your dreamless sleep?

Q:  It just doesn’t sound… [Laughs]

A: [Laughs] Maybe because I have phrased the question that way. But the fact is that as you come to the dreamless state, is there anything there, including this body?

Q: No.

A: Who knows this? [Silence] If there is nothing there, then who would be there to know that there is nothing? That itself must be not a ‘thing’. If there is no-thing there, then That which witnesses that there is no-thing there must itself not be a thing. Isn’t it?

Q: Yes.

A: So, if you say that ‘I had waking state, I had dream state, I had sleep state’ YOU would have to be the constant through the states, isn’t it? Because you say ‘I had this, I had this, I had this.’ So, You are the one constant. The waking state takes everything that the waking state has and goes away; the dream state comes and this entire other world can appear and when the dream state goes, everything in that goes away. Then the deep sleep state comes, where there is nothing. And yet, You remain…, but not as a thing. Now, when the waking state came, did you become a thing?

[Silence]

This is very important. We are not presuming anything

Q: Yeah, I am just checking.

A: Yeah, so we are just checking. From this no-thing, all things have come. And you rightly say ‘It seems like I get infused in that’. So, all this is made up of Me and yet That which is fully full (in spite of the appearances) of the manifest fullness…, nothing happens to That.

What You Are in your sleep state is not affected by the appearance of this waking state; what You Are is unaffected by the dream state also. All these states are changing, coming and going.

So, what will happen is that when this waking state comes, there is this mind which tries to tell you that you are just an object of the waking state. But actually, You saw that the entire state came from within You. It is Your own power which is manifesting as this waking state. But this voice will come and tell you that ‘The waking state is not in you; you are an object in the waking state.’ Now, without that, we will See that in all of this, there is no separate me. There are ‘no two’ …, that’s why it is Advaita (not-two).

There is no qualitative or quantitative difference between a dream and that which we call the waking state. Actually, there’s only one; dream state / waking state. It’s just that this seems so intimate and real that we hesitate to call this a dream. And it’s okay; we don’t have to force that.

The main point in the beginning is that, even in this waking state, when I look for the one who could have the problems about money, relationships, even health of the body; that we do not find. And if we do not find that one, then we See that it has just been a belief; an idea that I believe about myself.

But Right Now, are you empty of that belief also…, until you thought about it. Now, in this moment, you are empty of even that belief. Now that you are thinking about it; now the belief can come back. This is the magic. God is God. Now, God can use Its thoughts to pretend as if It is [the limited idea of] ‘you’.

Now, you say that even this appearance is Me. I am that full; so, everything that comes must also be Me. There is nothing else. There is only Awareness in that which we call dreamless sleep or deep sleep state. There is only Awareness; there is no-thing. Therefore, that is the sum and substance of everything.  Then, if something comes, what must that something be made up of?

Q: Me.

A: Same. So, whether it is a manifest aspect which is experienceable in a way, that also must be made up of same Awareness. Just because something is moving…, just because our finger is moving doesn’t mean that it ceases to be the hand. It’s still the hand. So, it is Awareness Itself, the Self Itself, which is manifesting Itself as Consciousness (for which usually, we use the label God). Now, it is this God (or the manifest aspect, the Saguna aspect, the one with attribute- aspects of the Self) which we call Consciousness.

So, this consciousness is what? It’s the Self alone. But It has a qualitative feel, as if It is manifesting as I Am; I playing as I Am. Now, simply ‘I Am’ …, no trouble. What is the root of all trouble? In simply ‘I Am’ … there is no trouble. That’s Atma, Consciousness. But you are saying that ‘I am the James Bond character’.

Actually, now You are Seeing that the entire game came from within You. The entire play not only came from within You, but continuous to just bubble around in Your own Being. But within this, there comes this very intimate set of sensations called the body, this intimate set of sensations called thoughts; and we have taken this set of sensations and made a theoretical construct called the body/mind, which we call the ego or the person. It’s just a theoretical construct.

All these sensations are independent. They just have one cause, which is Consciousness. We start from Consciousness, end in Consciousness, are made of Consciousness. There is only Consciousness. And yet, in the appearance, Consciousness has given Itself the ability to take these constructs and make a notion around them. Like, there is no sky. We have a theoretical notion of sky. Is there something real like sky? There is no sky. It’s a construct which is made up of that space, in which clouds can be there, that space in which we can view the stars, but there is no substance like ‘the sky’. In the same way, there is no substance like ‘the person’. It is just a theoretical notion. The ego is just a theoretical construct. There is, in fact, no ‘mind’. It’s just that we have taken the set of sensations called thoughts, imagination, memory and put it together into one theoretical notion called ‘mind’. In fact, (you know where I am going) there is no such thing as the body also. We have taken all these various sensations (leg sensations, knee sensations, arm sensations) and made one collective construct (and visual sensations, which seem to have this continuity) into one construct called ‘the body’. But all has only been Consciousness.

Q: Yeah, it’s just like a dream state where we become the body. It’s not, actually.

A: Exactly. So now, that is why the Sages have given us these clues. They have seen through this maya, this realm of the changing, and come to that discovery of the Truth…, and then said ‘Okay, in the play, everyone need some clues.’ So, what are the scriptures? What is the Ashtavakra Geeta? It’s a set of clues; how do you find this? Because actually, directly, you cannot point to it. I cannot take you (that which is out of space) by pointing ‘this way, this way’ (pointing that way in space). I have to take you beyond space. So, then that ‘beyond space’ itself becomes a clue, it becomes a pointer. I cannot tell you that which is timeless by telling you that you will find it in the future or you had it in the past. I have to take you beyond time. But I cannot take you phenomenally beyond time. I can just point to your Source: Where does even this Consciousness come from? Is That beyond time and space? So, these clues are to be used like this.

Q: What, in this seeming waking state, stops me from verifying what you said?

A: It’s the habit of going with our conditioning. That is why we have satsang every day; to break that habit of conditioning which reinforces the idea that ‘You are a person, you are a person, you are a person; these are your goal, this is your life, this is what you should do, you have to be like this, you have to do like this’. This constant commentary is on. And our predisposition has become that we believe this commentary. Then we need to have the opposite of that also, which is pointing You to Your timeless nature, to Your space-less nature, and reminding You that when you really check, You don’t find the one that the mind is talking to.

A theoretical construct cannot have a desire. Let me explain. She says ‘But it seems like the construct of the body and the construct of these thoughts has a particular desire’. And sometimes we use these words in Satsang, that the body/mind is the one that desires it. But what is body/mind? Body is a set of sensations and some visuals. Thoughts are also another set of sensations, energy constructs. Suppose you didn’t even have the notion of the body. Right now, some sensation is there. Sensation would be there, yes? And suppose you did not have the notion of mind; just some thoughts come and go. Now, what happens?

Q: Just some notions.

A: So, I’m saying we don’t create any notion of body, mind. There’s just a set of sensations; and sensations include that which we call thoughts. They are coming and going, these sensations. Does it ever create a tangible entity called ‘the person’ or ‘the ego’?

Q: No, it doesn’t. But you were saying ‘What is it that has a desire?’ So, there’s no tangible entity but it seems like it’s playing; this body/mind performing activities in a particular circumstance, let’s say. So, this body/mind construct is projecting that desire?

A: It is Consciousness’ belief that ‘I am limited to this body/mind’.

Q: Yes.

A: Which means that it is Your belief because You are this Consciousness believing Itself to be limited in some way as the body/mind. But actually, for You, what is the True position of the body and the mind?

Q: Just appearances.

A: Just appearances. So, if it is clear that they are appearances and I am the unchanging One …, now, what happened?

Q: Something comes, but it’s some resistance.

A: Yes, but what does it mean by resistance?

Q: Desire to have it a particular way.

A: Yes. Can that desire seem valid from Your True position? [Silence]

It’s only when we consider ourself to be limited in some way, contained in the body/mind, that a desire can make sense. [Silence] Name a desire. Either I’m right or there is a ‘but…’ therefore it is the ‘but…’ which still has power.

Now, if pain is there, and it is left unsupported by any interpretation or any resistance like the idea that it should not be there, how much space within You it is taking? Even this very large pain (which can seem so large right now in this situation) can you actually check: How much of the space is it taking up? Just look and tell me. Don’t be in denial of the pain, accept it, allow it, completely open to it. But just see if you can find this actual strength in just the pain by itself? Who is it overwhelming?

So, suppose pain is experienced. Suppose pain is experienced in the heart or something. It’s not the physical heart, it’s like the emotional heart. But either physical or emotional is contained within the same space of Consciousness. Are you finding this? What are the limits of this space? If you want to be reckless and say ‘Even if more came, this pain, how much more has to come to overwhelm this space? …, before you run out of space?

Q: I feel some fear.

A: So, they came together. Two friends are there in the playground. How big is the playground?

Q: It doesn’t have any size.

A: It doesn’t have size. So, if everything was multiplied a few hundred times, is it too much? Or for You, in Reality, it continues to be just a speck?

As you remain with your insight and check really for what it is, you will find that Your Being is infinite. That’s why the Master says ‘If I could take the entire pain from all my children (in fact, not just my children) if I could take the entire humanity’s pain, it would be no trouble. Because in the recognition of this infinite Being, in this it is Seen that none of this can hurt the Reality of My Being’.

So, this Being Itself is unlimited. Once we lose the notion that ‘It is contained within this body’ You’re starting to find Your True Being.

[Silence]

And then, You will See that for That who is aware of this Being, in That which is aware of even this Being, for That (although no spatial comparison can be made nor does any metaphor really work) we can say that even this Being is just a speck of light compared to the Absolute You, to the Eternal You.

The dynamic aspect [Consciousness] is just an aspect, and yet, the dynamic aspect Itself can contain the entire universe (does contain the entire universe). What must You be? You are this Shiva.

[Silence]

Now, this Shiva wanted to be entertained. And in some parts of the play, it can seem like they’re not so entertaining. [Chuckles] Shiva wanted to be entertained, okay? See if you can recognize this story about YourSelf. It is not fiction, actually. [Chuckles] (It is fiction to the extent that, to Shiva actually, we cannot even use the word ‘entertainment’. But that much leeway we will take.)

So, Shiva wanted to be entertained. Now, this Shiva is ‘All There Is’. Everything! And that ‘All There Is’ is just an aspect of It. Now, Shiva said ‘I am All There Is. Now, how to play? How to be entertained? If I continue to see that ‘I am All There Is’ and actually, in Reality, I am beyond even that, then how can I bring some drama into my life?’

What would you have to do? First you would have to believe that You are not the unlimited One. As long as You are the unlimited One, there’s no possibility of this kind of play. So, first we must believe ourself to be something which has a boundary, something which has a limitation. Now, whether you’re ready for this or not: You Are Shiva! Right Now, You Are Shiva! [Silence]

You Are Shiva; now play…

You cannot play without a notion about YourSelf.

You Are Shiva Now. You cannot have a grievance, you cannot have a regret, you cannot have pride, you cannot have specialness, you cannot have remorse, you cannot have guilt. You cannot have anything that we describe as suffering unless you pick up a notion about YourSelf.

No pain is too much for You; no pleasure makes You attached to it. All is allowed to come and go.

It is True! How can I say these things? Because I See this, and we are One…, just playing as if we are separate.

Now, Shiva, tell me, without a notion about YourSelf, what to do with you?

Notion-less-ly, do you exist? Or not?

Is your existence here? Or not?

Is your perception functioning normally? Or not?

Sounds are being heard.

Visuals are being seen.

Existence is just effortlessly here.

Effortlessly, Your existence is here,

and all that is called the natural functioning of life is functioning.

Now, what do You need a notion for?

To run Your life?

Your life isn’t running at this moment?

Breath isn’t happening?

Heart isn’t beating?

If food is needed, it will show up.

Try it!

You can’t try it with a sense of arrogance; then God will make sure it doesn’t show up. [Chuckles] But if you leave it alone, then whatever is needed for God’s own sustenance of God has to show up, because all is in service to God. But if you try to make it a trick from your individuality, then it is not a cheat code in this way.

You are aware of your Existence.

This Awareness is the Absolute.

There is no person sitting there.

Is the one that has to do something sitting there?

Is the one that wants something sitting there?

Nothing is there except Your very Existence which contains all things. Two moments of checking will make this completely apparent to you; if you check without a pre-conceived notion that ‘This is too much. I must be something contained in this body, but how can the world be within me?’ If you’re playing with all these concepts then it can seem to take longer. But ultimately, all these concepts will be discarded. If you just check, you will find that like the entire dream is contained within You, all this that you’re perceiving is also contained within You. All that you used to define as your limit is now being Seen as false.

If you still have a notion about ‘you’ then it can seem like a very strange concept. ‘But how can everything be within my body?’ I’m not saying that it is within your body. It is your body sensations which are also experienced within Your Being, within Your Existence.

Where are these words being heard? Where is the sound of the traffic being heard? Same place as the body is being experienced. And You are aware of this. Can any content in this come and make a scratch on this Awareness? No matter how strong a fire it is, how sharp a sword it is, can it leave any residue on That which is aware of Your Existence?

[Silence]

Now, don’t try to be That. Because if you try to be That, you first invent something which is not-that.

If you want to try something, try to leave That.

Don’t be aware.

Leave Awareness aside.

Who can do it?

[Silence]

Only This, you cannot leave. Even Your very sense of Existence, Being, will be left aside when You are done with the experience of Existence. But That which witnesses (the Primal Witnessing) …, That does not come and go.

[Silence]

But what drama is here? Nothing. I cannot be hurt, I cannot be scratched, I cannot be dented, I cannot have any attribute about MySelf in Reality. For any of this, first I must exist. Existence comes, so ‘I Am’…, ‘I’ playing as ‘I Am’. Then, no trouble even now.

If you had no ability to attach anything to YourSelf (‘I am something’) …, if that was not a possibility, if you could not say ‘I am the body, I am my name, I am anything’ then also show me any trouble. You could not attach ‘I am something’ and you could not attach ‘I am nothing’ also. Nothing you can attach.

First, You must pose as something, You must put on the mask of something, the pretense of something; only then a trouble can seem real.

I know I’ve spoken for one hour already, but just stay with me on this point and tell me whether you See it or not:

Unless I pick up the idea that I am something, suffering is an alien concept.

This much is Seen? This is the main point in Satsang. Because, in this, the Truth is also apparent.

So, as You are Seeing this, don’t worry about the Absolute. It is not going anywhere. Just notice this much about yourself; that unless I pick up the idea that I am something (which is usually the idea ‘I am the body’ or is usually the idea that ‘I am the body/mind’) unless I have this premise, this basic notion, no other notion can trouble me.

So, no money in the bank? Unless you have this notion that you are this body/mind, can it trouble you? No partner in life? Or a terrible partner; not good enough? Unless you are the body/mind, can this notion trouble you? Not finding freedom? Not coming to freedom? Not finding enlightenment? Or even the favorite one, which is ‘I See it, but I can’t stay in it; I have to stay in it’. Not being able to do that; can it trouble you unless you have the notion that you are a body/mind? God is not being able to stay in it? [Chuckles] You see? So, there must be a limited notion that God is playing with…, before you can pick up any other notion which seems to be causing any trouble.

That is why this is direct Satsang, where we attack this notion that ‘you are something’ directly; without getting into the ‘whatever’ the seeming trouble might be…, because we know that actually the only trouble is this.

So, now you have this infection ‘I am something’. What to do? Suppose you have this infection ‘I am something. I am the body/mind.’ What to do? Now, you’re unraveling the entirety of spirituality. Considering that you have this notion, the Sages have said ‘Either surrender it, or inquire into it…, or both’.

Now, whatever you consider yourself to be, hand it over, this moment. Whatever that something might be, just leave it here. That is called surrender. Some who are of a devotional temperament, some who are open in that way, will say ‘Yes, done, forgotten, gone’.

Some who are not of this temperament say ‘No, no, but it is too sticky. I end up believing it over and over’. Those can do the inquiry.

‘I am something?’

‘Who is the ‘I’ that is something?’

‘I am not good enough for freedom.’

‘Who is the ‘I’ which is not good enough for freedom?’

If you pop the grenade of this question in your Being and then you leave this question unmolested (unmolested by your expectations, unmolested by what should happen, unmolested by ‘Are we there yet?’) you will find that it will clean up. This grenade will explode everything that you’re holding on to.

Then you will find that, whether it was the seeming-surrender or whether it was the seeming-inquiry, it is just this notion ‘I am something’ which was dropped away, and just ‘I Am’ remains.

[Silence]

Now, if surrender or self-inquiry both don’t seem to be it, if there’s no resonance happening with that, then some different methods can be prescribed, like mantra, like hatha yoga; all these paths can be prescribed. But that’s not usually what happens in our Satsang. Here the feeling is to more share about this. So, you find most of what is here in Satsang is surrender, and a lot of it is about inquiry. And a little bit can seem like it’s about that.

But actually, it is just about removing this notion of something and Seeing that this Being is completely complete. It is That which is the container of the universe. You are not contained in It. And ultimately, You will See that even Being is a coming and going. The Reality of what I Am is even before ‘I Am’.

Nothing has to be done here. As You drop the notion of ‘something’ then even this absolute Truth is apparent to You.

[Silence]

And the best, best, best news, is that in this moment, completely fresh, if I don’t give you a moment to think about it, You are not something.

And when I do give you moment to think about it, what is the mind usually saying? ‘But…’ [Chuckles] That is called a doubt. At some point, something moves away from these petty doubts of the mind. And You allow YourSelf to taste Your own magnificent Being.

That is why to You I say: Don’t exchange Your magnificent Being for any idea about YourSelf. No matter how good it sounds.

That is it. That is spirituality.

Now, if to remove that ‘something’ you are just bringing your attention to your breath all the time (that which the Buddhists might call mindfulness) or you’re chanting a mantra or you’re doing some other practice, it’s all about this. Because all the Sages, no matter which path they have taken, have found that the only way for suffering to come is to first pick up the notion that ‘I am something’.

Let’s start with how I’ve usually been starting, which is to point out that Right Now, in this very moment, you are existing effortlessly. Your existence in this very moment is effortless. I’m going to pause after everything so that you take some time to see whether this is your direct insight. In this moment, your existence is effortless.

Q: Existence means alive? Being alive?

A: That ‘I Am’. It is; but what I’m saying is that we don’t even have to insert another concept. If I say ‘Do you exist right now?’ …, do you need the concept ‘I am alive’ to report the ‘Yes’? Suppose you didn’t have the word at all, aliveness or alive; nothing. Just ‘I exist’. If I say ‘You don’t exist’ [you will say] ‘But, I Am’.

I’m trying to keep it as straight as possible so it is your direct insight and we don’t have to refer to any concept that we had. You know, yesterday I came across one editor [Editing program] and using that editor you can only use a thousand words. [Chuckling] So, it keeps your writing very simple. I saw this and felt this is a brilliant idea and wanted to send it to the team at work. Like this. Just that I exist or I Am; that you don’t insert any concept about it where you’re relying on the inferences like ‘Yes, obviously, I’m alive ‘ or something like that.

Do you see that you exist? Is it your direct insight that you exist? That is what is important because we have to move away from just a conceptual spiritually. That is what I’m trying to do today; just to see that if I had no concept of it, if I had no thought about it…, thought is coming and going but irrespective of whether thought is here or not, I am here. We have not yet said what this ‘I Am’ is or what ‘here’ is. We have not picked up any presumption of any of the terms. But what is apparent is that I exist, I am here.

Everyone with me so far?

Q: Anantaji, I feel that even ‘effortless’ is an unnecessary qualification because I’m not able to check whether ‘I Am’ by some effort or what has brought me to this point. Obviously, so many things. It’s just that it’s there.

A: Yes, it’s there; and effortlessly means the same thing. If it were effortful…, for example, if I’m not thinking (let’s call that one kind of effort, thinking) …, if the thought is not there, then it’s not that my existence ceases to be. You see? Whether there are many thoughts or no thought, my existence is there. I’m not picking it up, I’m nor holding it up; my existence. Like even to sit up straight [Laughing] is not the natural state here. It is like slouching. [Chuckles] It seems like now I’m holding it up. But neither of these positions [Sitting up straight or slouching] makes a difference to this existence. That’s what I mean by effort. It’s not being propped up through thought, intellect or physical activity of any sort. It is just there.

Q: Whenever I check, it is there, all the time.

A: Yes; unsupported. Effortlessly means unsupported…, unsupported by any prop; be it a physical prop, be it a mental prop, be it an imagination prop. Like, if I say ‘The pink elephant exists here effortlessly’ you will say ‘No, no’. If there is the effort of imagination, then it exists in our perception. But This (imagination or not, thought or not, physical activity or not) it is just here.

Let me again say what the initial point was; that you exist effortlessly. Now, this existence, whether the experience in the existence is pain or pleasure or contentment (we are not even talking about any of the qualities yet) …, but you are there. We are not even talking about which ‘you’ (what that ‘you’ is that is there) or anything. But if I say ‘Do you exist right now?’ …, it doesn’t matter whether there is pain, whether there is resisting or whatever. The answer ‘Yes’ does not come from a concept that ‘I have to exist’. It is just so naturally said. This is what is meant; like natural. Effortless is natural, not propped up; unsupported by any phenomena, unsupported by any concept, unsupported by any energy. Your existence is Here.

So, here we are just checking, And empty of all the previous concepts we might know, of anything that we might know, even about the Satsang and what is shared here…, when I say ‘Do you exist?’ if you don’t go with a mental concept of existence, you then say ‘Yes, I am here’.

Q: I just want to check with you. So, in this space of Being or Existence, as they call it, there are these sensory perceptions happening. Initially, the feeling was that the mind is the space in which this processing was happening. But now I’m seeing that it’s also another independent object, in the space of our Being.

A: You mean the mind?

Q: Yes. It’s also just another random. And it has its random boundaries of what is, but they have nothing to do with Me.

A: Yes. It is a question of how we define it. Let me take a minute on that so it becomes clear. In this existence, there are various, various, various qualities of perception. Isn’t it? That’s things like sight, hearing, taste, thought, memory, imagination, emotion. Not only that but sensations which we call the body. Then the leg sensation is different from the arm sensation. All these various venues of sensation are there. Suppose we had no buckets which defined any of the sensation. We don’t say ‘Pain or pleasure is in the body sensation’. We don’t have any ‘bucket’. We don’t say body / mind; nothing. Just a big swath of sensations; all our experience. Now, whatever sensation goes to is a sensation, is a perception.

Now (for ease of communication) we have made these buckets called ‘body, mind, outer world, inner world’. Suppose we had none of these boundaries and everything was experienced as a sensation. What is undeniable is that I Am. Within this Being, all this perception is happening; all these sensations are ‘tasted’.

Now (for ease of communication) let’s state…, that which we call energy constructs called thoughts, that which we call the sensations of imagination and memory, let’s call that ‘mind’. Some might say ‘Let’s even put emotion in there’. Now, some might say ‘Why do all of this? Just call everything which is phenomenal mind’. Can I say it like that? Even for Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] the mind contained everything; everything that you perceive is the mind. And sometimes he said ‘Mind is nothing but a bundle of thoughts’. So, the container and what it is containing, is just a theoretical concept that we’re using to define a particular boundary in this unlimited set of sensations. So, mind is not really an actual container, it is that intellectual concept we are using to ‘bucket’ a certain set of sensations within it.

Q: If we do away with all these different definitions of different kinds of senses even, and even the mind as another object? So, basically, the truth of the moment seems to be that there’s a stimulus and the entire set of things can be bunched into this some kind of stimulus and there’s a response.

A: Stimulus. Whatever you call it, that’s also a stimulus. So, that’s why I don’t want to call it ‘stimulus and response’ because I want to say that everything which is phenomenal, both the stimulus and the response (let’s call it a perception or a sensation or basically a phenomenon) let’s just call it a phenomenon.

Q: So, I cannot define the so-called stimulus as me or the response as me, but the response is somehow, by default, identified as me.

A: Exactly. So, the same way as we’ve got these theoretical constructs now…, there are various ways, may other sensations, but we use some theoretical constructs about the body or the mind and we have defined them as buckets. We have one theoretical construct called the ‘me’ which we have taken to be the super-self of these two other theoretical concepts called ‘body and mind’. So, everything that is contained within this body, this mind, we have taken that to be me. But all three are theoretical concepts. There is no such thing, there is no such thing as the mind, there is no such thing as the body; even physically, it is just a set of atoms seemingly hanging together for some unknown reason (which the scientists also can’t tell you why they hang together).

So, these are the three theoretical concepts [body, mind, a ‘me’] on the basis of which we have the sense of individuality. Now, you’re absolutely right. The response that seems to come from this body or from this mind, or any of these sensations, we have labeled that and we’ve said ‘This is my response. Whatever is happening to me is coming from outside of me’. But as long as you can see that there is no direct experience of that, there is no insight of that; it is only a theoretical notion, then you can say things like ‘Oh, it sounds very irritating Advaita sometimes; everything was just a happening. There is no ‘me’ who is doing it, there is no ‘me’ who is not doing it; it is just a happening’. [Chuckles] You see? These kinds of things. Then people say ‘We find that you’re doing away with the theoretical notion of the ‘me’, doing away with the theoretical notion that there is a mind, doing away with the theoretical notion that there is a body’.

Everything is just a set of sensations. Nothing really divides anything. There is no boundary. Everything is experienced within this Existence.

So, stimulus and response; it’s phenomenal. I feel both are also theoretical constructs. Because it has somewhere the notion of cause and effect built into it. That’s what I’m saying. ‘This came, and therefore, that came’ is also just a notion, isn’t it? Because both are just happening, like the bird came and landed on the branch of the coconut tree and the coconut fell. Can you really say that it was the bird that made the coconut fall?

Q: So, stimulus and response as two different things is also another construct.

A: Another construct; it’s just a construct. Because everything is just….

Q: Not one preceding another.

A: Yes. If you’re going to take a theoretical construct more generally, then both are just perceptions; both are just perceived. One could be perceived as a physical stimulus, the other could be an emotional response; different levels of energetic appearance, and yet, they’re just energetic appearances.

So, once you remove this cause and effect, then you are able to say ‘There is only one cause, which is Consciousness’.

So, this is what I am really meaning. (And I know I’ve gotten very technical and half of our audience might have dropped away.) But it is really important because we are now discovering what I’ve been speaking about: Insight vs. Inference.

Q: What is the term ‘boundary’ and what does it mean?

A: What are the constituents of the limited identity that most of us seem to carry around?  Where do you actually end?  You say ‘I end at the body’. But what is our actual experience of this? How are you experiencing your body now? Who can tell me how is the body experienced? There is a visual perspective and…

Q: There is a visual perspective and feeling.

A: So, these sensations which seem to define the boundary. There is visual perception and there are these sensations. Now, both these visual perceptions and these sensations, where are they being experienced? Take it very slowly; there is no rush.

Q: In myself.

A: So, what is the boundary of that in which the visual is there, the sound is there and the sensations of the body are there? [Silence]

I know it can sound like a strange question but just play with me for a bit and see that what I’m saying is: These words are heard in that same space, the sensations of the body are felt in the same space, all these visuals are experienced in the same space. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharishi] would call it the stream of Consciousness; but we don’t have to worry about those words. Where is all of this happening, experienced?

Now, the mind has said that this [Pointing towards his body] is my boundary; and the voice which I’m hearing (which is Ananta’s voice) is coming from outside of me [Points away from his body] because this is my boundary.

For a minute, we are dropping that; like a child who doesn’t know if the hand is a toy, or the toy is the toy. For a minute, we are not picking up the idea that ‘This is my boundary’. We are going to go with our insight about where all of this is being experienced, irrespective of whether the mind is defining or not. Follow? Although it is very radical, to check is not difficult if there is some openness.

Q: You may say that the mind is setting up the boundary.

A: Exactly, exactly. So, that which we have taken as the valid voice for the ‘me’ is what we are questioning now, which is the mind itself and its presumptions. So, now if you don’t just blindly follow what the mind is saying…, you say ‘Okay, Mr. mind, this is what you are saying, but let me check this for myself ‘ then do you find that the sensation of the body that seemed to define your boundary is actually happening in the boundless space of You? It is not a physical space, but we just have to use that term so we will say ‘The boundless space of You’.

Are you like the water that is contained within the glass? And suppose the boundary of the glass had some sensations. Are you experiencing it like the water within the glass, experiencing the boundaries outside of yourself, at your edge…, or are these boundaries also contained within the same space of your Existence where this voice is heard, where this traffic is heard, where any experience is?

Q: What is experienced defines the boundary.

A: What you experience, when it is mixed up with the mind, then it seems to define a boundary. But in the experience itself, do you find any boundary to You? And look at: That which seems to be perceived as a boundary, where is that contained?

So, boundary means what? That there is drop which is separate from the rest of the ocean. It’s like a drop of water which is contained in the ocean, and that drop will have a particular energetic boundary it something. Here we are just checking whether, really, we are this drop itself …, or are we that ocean which contains all of those experiences of that which we have previously called me and another, inside and outside. Where is all of that? Where is this body sitting in front of you? [Pointing to himself] Where is that experience?

Q: It’s experienced within.

A: Within. The sound is experienced within; everything is experienced within. Again, we are not yet talking about what that ‘within’ is. But in that same space where all the objects of perception are experienced, in the same space, even this seeming-sensation of the body we experience.

Now, this is not a persistent thing. A part if your boundary, for example, are your ears. You were not even aware of your ears till I pointed them out. You see? In that moment, there was no perception if it. As one of my teachers used to say ‘We feel like the body is defining us but till I pull your ear, you won’t even know that you have an ear’. [Chuckling] So, it is these sensations which seem to have been created as a definition for a ‘me’ but actually, all of these are just sensations happening within My Being.

Now, very good. That we have walked together so far itself is very, very good. So, what have we seen?

I exist unsupported, effortlessly. Naturally, existence is here. No matter what the experience might be, I just Am.

The one that has all the suffering, all the problems, I look for that one but (at least, so far) I don’t find a tangible entity that I can say ‘That one has this problem’. And I notice also that all that I perceive is just like a perception or sensation within the same Existence that is here effortlessly, unsupported.

Q: Does attention have a role to play in the recognition of the primal witness?

A: The right answer is ‘No’ but there is a qualification to that answer. Now, when we are talking about the primal witness, that is beyond even play of attention, beyond even the play of existence. And yet, it is not that this primal witness has forgotten who it was, or is, and is coming to the recognition. Awareness has always been just aware. There is no play of losing recognition and coming to the recognition in that. So, from the perspective of the primal witness itself, no.

So, now we have to really look at: What is coming to this recognition? It is this very Existence, this very Consciousness, which has played (that’s what we have discussed) using the thoughts; has played as if it’s a limited entity and now coming to Its recognition. So, what we have done so far is that we have brought the conversation to this level where we have seen that ‘I Am That I Am. I Am this Existence. And within this Existence, there is nothing that can hurt me, harm me, make me suffer, because that ‘I’ is the ‘I Am’ Itself’.

Now, this is the end of most spiritual paths, to discover your God-like nature, to discover that You Are Consciousness. In some paths, then you come to see that: Even this ‘I Am’ …, there is an awareness of that.

Now, what is the role of attention in this? Attention is divested from phenomenal things and comes to rest in Existence, when the recognition of That which is even beyond Existence happens; which means that, from Here, even ‘I Am That I Am’ doesn’t sound like it is true. ‘I Am’ is recognizing that Its Source (where it comes from) is independent of even ‘I Am’. Therefore, the Source has never been confused, has never even played confused. But Consciousness has played as if ‘I am something’ and is now coming to the recognition that ‘I am even beyond ‘I Am’ …, just ‘I’. In that way, all ‘somethings’ are being dropped away.

So, attention plays a role only till the point where attention is brought to just this ‘I-Am-ness’ Itself. But as we ask the question ‘Who is aware of even this existence?’ you find that here there is no play of attention also. It’s a deeply, deeply, deeply intuitive insight which is beyond attention, beyond belief. Any phenomenal forces don’t function here.

So, attention works in conjunction with Consciousness. And Consciousness divests attention from all phenomenal things, and it comes to rest in the Self.

In this ‘Am I aware?’ the divesting is happening from all phenomenal things. But we cannot even say (although conversationally sometimes we might say) that attention goes to Awareness. Actually It is just resting; there is no play of attention here. Beyond attention, beyond time, beyond space, beyond belief is the primal recognition.

So, I hope we have clarified a little bit. Just to put it simply, the role that the attention seems to be given in the play of Self-recognition is that it is divested from all phenomenal objects. And in that moment of resting, the true insight, which is beyond even attention, is completely apparent.

Q: In what aspects are Awareness and Consciousness similar?

A: In what aspects are Awareness and Consciousness similar? They’re not just similar, actually, they are the same. They are One. It is just like there’s a moving part to the car and there’s a static part. Let’s say (as an example I like to use) there’s a hand and there’s a moving finger. Do you see a hand or a finger? This which is moving is Consciousness; this which is the unmoving (where Consciousness comes from) is Awareness. But actually, they are One.

That is why Consciousness is only a dynamic aspect of the same Self. It is another (you can say) theoretical construct. Just like we’ve created a theoretical construct called body / mind…, in the same way, this is a theoretical construct of Awareness and Consciousness to define the unmoving, the unchaning part, of the Self and to define the changing part; to define the quality-less Self, the ‘Nirguna’ Self…, and the quality, full of attributes, that is ‘Saguna’.

There’s a beautiful bhajan we used to sing at Ramesh’s house, which was ‘Tuja Saguna Mhano Ki Nirguna Re’ which means ‘How should I consider You? Saguna, full of qualities; or Nirguna, empty of all qualities and attributes?’  Then ‘Saguna Nirguna Eku Govindu Re’ which means (Govinda, of course, is a term for Krishna, the play of the absolute Self) ‘Whether with attributes or without attributes, there is only Self, one God, one Lord’.

That’s why terminologies can vary and that’s why it helps a lot if we are on the same page in terms of terminology so you know that the constructs that we are using to bring clarity will leave you empty of constructs. If they are not properly understood, then it can seem a bit confusing.

So, this is just the dynamic, the quality-aspect of the Self. Awareness is That which remains unchanging, irrespective of whether the play of qualities is playing or not and regardless of whatever play of qualities is happening.

Insight means: What is it that we are actually finding for ourself? We’ve Seen that there are a lot of perceptions that are being experienced, but if I don’t go with any interpretation of them, any inference about them …

Q: Should we not doubt our insights, Anantaji? Beyond a point, you cannot take them like that.

A: First, doubt your inferences. Then we’ll come to a point of whether anything that we’re having an insight about has ever happened or not. [Chuckles]

But what you can truly say (at least right now) is that your inferences have been complete fairy-tales and fantasies. Mostly, isn’t it? So, at least let’s start with dropping our inferences.

There will come a point that I will tell you that even all these insights that you are having about YourSelf: forget about it. [Laughter in the room] There will come a time, where like [Nisargadatta] Maharaj you say ‘I Am? There is no ‘I Am’. Forget about even Consciousness.’ Or he would say ‘Oh, the I Am infection. Are you suffering from it?’ But this, right now, where we are at in our sangha and everything, it is not that moment yet where I can share these kinds of things openly in that way.

So, for now, we’re leaving the tyranny, the misery, of this non-existent ego. As we are free from that, one day we will leave the realm of Consciousness also. We will See that actually, it never came. But there is time for that.

Q: It’s like falling into a bottomless pit when I do the Self-inquiry.

A: It can feel this; falling, falling, unlimited ocean. But you will find that there is nobody who is falling.

That which you seem to be falling into is actually That which You have always Been.

This is the recognition.

So far, because we’ve been conditioned to believe we are a limited object, as we are coming into the recognition, it can be interpreted or translated by the mind as if ‘I, a limited object, am falling into the unlimited ocean of myself.’ But actually, what You are finding is that You have always Been this unlimited ocean of YourSelf.

Ask yourself: Where is this unlimitedness? (What did you say?) …, ‘this bottomless pit’? Is this bottomless pit outside of You? Can You fall anywhere which is not within YourSelf? Only if you have the notion that you are a limited object.

Q: For the first time, I understood that the perceptions happen inside of me …, with eyes closed. But with my eyes open, it has not happened.

A: Play with this. Very good, play with this. And again, not in an exam sort of way, but as an experiment, in a playground, sort of way. What happens; eyes closed, eyes open? Play with it sometimes.

Q: Boundlessness is very easily understood with eyes closed.

A: It is true; undeniably true because the amount of attractive stimuli reduces 90% when the eyes are closed; otherwise there is so much stimulus. But actually, now that you have had that insight, now see what changes when eyes close. Isn’t it just the quantity of stimuli? But actually, nothing changed about where it is experienced. Just the quantity and the nature of it seem to change.

So, what I’m saying is…., you say ‘With my eyes closed, it is so apparent that all this perception is happening within me’ so I’m saying now, when eyes are open, besides it being the quantity of stimuli, the nature of the stimuli, does something change about you or the perception or something like that?

Q: Suddenly, I feel I am this body…

A: So, validate that. Close your eyes. And just nod when you feel it’s clear that everything is happening within You. So, when it’s clear that this sound, which you’re hearing as my voice, is just a perception within Your own Being…, when that is clear, just nod your head. [Silence] Clear. Now, gently open your eyes, and notice whether something really changed except that there is a lot more visual stimulus that is there. [Silence] Where is this voice now? Is it in the same place where it was when your eyes were closed? [Silence]

Just like this. It can feel like that because there is so much more stimulus. It can seem like there’s a ‘me’ and then ‘this outer world’. So, do this play in this way and see if you become clearer.

It’s always been like this. It’s just that sometimes the quantity of the stimulus can make it feel like this. The mind can come and say ‘You can only deal with this much as yours’. You see?

Now, the Guru is saying ‘Everything is already Me’ and then it might sound funny to them when someone says ‘But I can’t give this to you. I already know it’s mine’. (I’m not speaking specifically now but) generally when it is said in Satsang that ‘I can’t give it to you’ it means that you’re holding on to a limited notion of yourself. The Master Knows already that it belongs to Their One Consciousness anyway.

So, experiment with this; play with this. I’m happy to hear you saying that at least now with the eyes closed, it’s so clear; whatever perception is there is just within my Existence. Then just notice.

Q: When the question is posed saying ‘Do I exist?’ or any other question, it doesn’t even land in there. And after some time, mind comes to the rescue to answer the question.

A: So, don’t worry about the answer at all. When I say ‘‘Do you exist?’ and no answer is coming, don’t worry at all about it. You don’t have to produce the answer.

Q: I say that that’s happening with me, that when the question comes up, it’s not landing anywhere. And when the answer comes…

A: Don’t even have that presumption that it’s not landing. Because some of these are very primal things. If I say to you ‘Can you stop existing right now?’ you don’t have to do anything or not do anything. You don’t have to take a position with regards to that; whether it is landing or it is not landing. Sometimes, something will just land. And sometimes it just dissolves. So, don’t say ‘For me, it doesn’t land’.

Q: The problem with the inquiry for me is just that; it doesn’t land.

A: That’s what I’ve been saying recently, that once you ask the question, then don’t molest the question. [Laughter in the room] You see? This is what we do. We start the inquiry ‘Who am I? (such a simple inquiry; three words) then you molest it with ‘Is it landing? Am I getting it? Why don’t I get it? What am I seeing?’ Leave it.

Q: No answer comes.

A: GOOD! [Chuckles] Because the inquiry is not about the answer. That’s why I’ve been saying that this is a different type of classroom. Now, because our conditioning has been so strong that we have to answer and we have to answer first and we have to answer correctly, then all of this can be frustrating. ‘Oh, an answer is not coming.’

That’s why sometimes, when I say these things, it also so that you can relax a bit. If we add the idea that ‘I am something’ for millions and millions of years, if in 10 days or 10 months or 10 years it doesn’t seem clear what the answer to ‘Who am I?’ is, it’s completely fine. But at least that is a rehab from all this ‘I am something’.

‘I don’t know’ is good enough; is as empty as not filling the blank with something.

Don’t ever look down on the ‘I don’t know who I am’. In fact, there is a lot of integrity in that. In fact, many of the teachers who say ‘I don’t know who I am’…, those are the quite trustworthy compared to the ones that are saying ‘I Am This or I Am That’.

Let me say again what the initial point was, that you exist effortlessly. Now, this existence, whether the experience in the existence is pain or pleasure, contentment; we are not even talking about any of the qualities yet, but you are there. We are not even talking about which ‘you’ …, what that ‘you’ is that is there. We don’t know anything. But if I say ‘Do you exist right now?’ It’s ‘Yes’. It doesn’t matter whether there is pain, whether there is this thing or that. The answer ‘Yes’ does not come from a concept that ‘I have to exist’. It is just so naturally a fact. So, this is what is meant; like natural. Effortless is natural, not propped up; unsupported by any phenomena, unsupported by any concept, unsupported by any energy. Your existence is Here.

So, here we are just checking (and empty of the previous concept that we might know, anything that we might know, even about the Satsang and what is shared here) when I say ‘Do you exist?’ …, if you don’t go with the mental concept of existence, then you say ‘Yes, I’m here’.

So, here we can converge, to start with. Now, if we were to define pain as something which just comes up naturally, which comes and goes, but suffering as something which requires a sense of ‘something happening to me’. So, pain is just the energetic experience of a movement in Consciousness, but suffering means that there is a ‘me’ which is involved. ‘Why does this happen to me? I hope this isn’t continuing till tomorrow because I have something important.’ You see?

So, irrespective of whatever energetic might be appearing now within this existence, can I suffer in this very moment? Is there a ‘me’ here who has a life, who has a plan, who has grievances, who has resentment, who has pride, who has humility, who has regrets? Right Here, Right Now, only through your direct insight, the same way you have been checking, do you find the one who has any problem? [Silence]

Q: But isn’t the experienced also part of the experience?

A: Yes, yes. A little pain is there. That’s why I said, distinguish between pain and suffering. We said pain can come, any energetic movement can come, any thought can come, any emotion can come. All of this is there. But is there an owner, an individual owner, of this problem? And if there is, where is that one? What does it look like? If there is a problem with a relationship, if there is a problem with money, any problem, even the freedom problem, where is the one that has that one?

The body is unconcerned about money, emotions, thoughts. Money cannot touch any of this. Where is the one that has any problem? In the openness, the nakedness of the Right Now, empty of any mask, if you are not presuming anything at all, when you are just looking, do you find this one?

Q: Is it like that actually there are no problems at all, and only thought is labeling a certain thought? Even the concept of problem exists only at the level of thought?

A: Yes, that’s true. Why is it true? Because the ‘me’ which could have the problem itself is not there. You see? This is important to see. Because the ‘me’ has remained as a presumption, even relying on our knowledge. ‘Yes, yes, this part I know. This, I don’t.’ So, when we are looking now, we are actually doing an audit and Seeing whether there is such an entity there. So, if there’s no such an entity there, then what can it have? Including a problem, it cannot have, because there’s no such an entity there. You see? ‘What color is the necklace of the blue cat on the table?’ So, our problem is like that necklace of the blue cat on the table. It’s non-existent.

That’s why, more important than to say that ‘Ah, there is no necklace!’ is to See that actually there is no blue cat at all! Then the possibility of the necklace itself is taken away. You see what I’m saying? If there was a ‘me’ and you find that there can actually no problem for this ‘me’ …, it’s a nice pointing…, but to See that there’s no ‘me’ like that at all, which could have that accessory called problem, it is then so clear that it cannot have such possibility. But if there was a limited me, if there was an individual me, then maybe you feel today ‘Okay, today God is taking care of all my problems, so it’s fine’ or something like that; but then tomorrow it could feel like ‘Oh, God is testing me with the problem.’ Something like that.

So, we can switch from perspectives about having a problem or not, but as long as the ‘me’ idea is still there, we are really exploring the root of this, and saying ‘Is there such a one which is here right now?’ Body seems to appear, thoughts seem to appear, emotions seem to appear, pain seems to appear, but the one that is concerned about relationship, or security or how life should be, how I should be perceived, all of these things; that one, can we find?

Q: Either there are problems or things are going well.

Exactly. Exactly. That’s how we come to the ‘not-applicable’. This is a very good example. We have problems or things are going well. So, when you come to say ‘That is actually not applicable. Conversationally in the world, of course I can say ‘I’m fine, everything is well’. But actually, it does not apply. It only comes once we See that there is no such ‘me’ here, and to See that it’s a presumption. And now we are going to get into how that presumption comes about.

So, can everybody see that there is no such ‘me’ inherently in this Now? Here and Now, you cannot find this ‘me’. You See, right Here and Now.

Let’s take a simpler example. Where is the one that has or had any concern about security, money, the state of the world or any of these things? Do you find this one? And what is the shape or size of this one? [Silence]

I exist. This is undeniable. For most of you, you said ‘Yes’ so effortlessly.

And now, we are looking for that one which suffers, which has problems. We are looking even for the seeker, who’s seeking freedom, the one that has any sort of lack. In your naturalness, right Here and Now, do you come across such an entity? Is there such an entity? Do you find the limited one, the one that has any boundary at all?