BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

Q: Actually, for many years, I have been playing with some notions. And to some extent you have answered those questions of mine. But I just wanted to get some reassurance because I know this ‘checker guy’ would come back because it has been a habit for many years. So, the first notion which I was playing with was enlightenment. And I would meditate for some time and then I would ask ‘Where is my bliss? Why is it not happening with me?’ And ‘What are these guys talking about, bliss and ecstasy? Why is it not happening with me?’ So, I think I’m coming to this conclusion that I should not be looking for enlightenment; if it has to happen, it will happen. The other thing which you.,.

A: Suppose you didn’t even have this conclusion?

Q: Yeah, I mean, I just need to be open.

A: Yes, that’s a better conclusion, but suppose not even this one? [Laughter] We will get used to not having any conclusions, because conclusions make positions. And positions are the opposite of this vastness. Position implies limitation. That which is unlimited can have no position.

Q: Yeah.

A: So, now the enlightenment concept; have no position with regard to it. Suppose. How would that be?

Q: Maybe I am taking this position of being in ‘Is-ness’ or being in ‘Am- ness’. I don’t know whether it’s a position or not.

A: As you’re position-less, that’s what You Are. You don’t have to take that position. You don’t need a notion to come to Is-ness. That Is-ness is not coming and going. We might say, like I have been saying, Shankara said something like this; he said ‘We can say pot IS, cloth IS …, but pot and cloth might come and go. But the Is-ness is not coming and going. So, in your position-less-ness, Is-ness is still there.

Q: And the other milestone which I used to attach with spiritual progress is the thoughts that you have, the feelings that you have. And I think just before coming here, I saw you at Satsang and you mentioned that that has no relation with your Is-ness. That was a big shocker for me because I thought that if you are making spiritual progress, you will have a different kind of thoughts or you will have no thoughts; lust cannot come (and you mentioned that even lust can come). So, this is something which completely demolished my concepts which I had earlier. But I would like you to please dwell on that.

A: Let’s look at it even intellectually, with intellect. We are talking about freedom. And all our ideas about freedom are how consciousness binds itself to be only a certain way once it is free. Does that make sense? That ‘Now that I am free, I cannot have lust.’ But then where is the freedom? [Laughter] ‘But if I am free then it must only be this way.’ That doesn’t sound like freedom to me.  That ‘Free guy’ then sounds very much like control. [Makes a robotic gesture] ‘You have to be only this way.’

Freedom means everything is allowed to appear. This does not mean I am making some sort of Advaita excuses. It’s not like…, many times we hear that many can say ‘Therefore I can just do whatever I want.’ I am not talking about that. I am just saying freedom must mean freedom. No? If freedom comes with set of rules that ‘Just this, this, this, this’ then where is the freedom?

Q: But that leads me to the other question in my mind. If that is the case, then how would you know that you are (I am using this terminology but I am sure you can understand) how would you know you are making progress? Because if you feel you are still the same, you still have the same feelings, you still think the same, you still have the same lust…, and you have also taken away enlightenment or bliss away from me. [Laughter] So, I am the same guy. The same guy had lot of fears and I used to feel (even now sometimes, I feel lonely) What is the yardstick?  I mean, I am going on the right path or not?  Because then I would not see myself any different to the next guy who’s not doing any of this.

A: Yes. Most importantly what will change is the pointer. Have you heard this term, the pointer? Have you had some technology experience?

Q: No

A: So, when I used to do programming (I used to, in college and things) there was this term called ‘pointer’. This was the pointer; it could point to something. So, ‘I’ is now pointing to this one [points to the body] the boundary one. This pointer [spreads arms wide to indicate unlimitedness] will point to No-thing. So, when you say ‘I was that way and now I continue to be the same’ …, is it pointing to the same ‘I’? [Silence] What is the true ‘I’?

Q: The limitless…, but which I have not experienced until now. I would also not say that as well. In a moment, yes; in that moment as everybody has the same feeling that yes, at the moment, I can feel that. I don’t feel that I am limitless or boundary-less. I just feel that there’s just nothing; I am No-thing.

A: Your limit-less-ness is not a feeling and it’s not an experience. It’s Your Existent Reality. Tell me your boundary Now?

Q: I have to make an effort to say this, that I have no boundary. I think what comes easily is that there is No-thing.

A: That No-thing is enough for me. [Chuckles]. That No-thing means no attribute at all.

Q: Yes.

A: So, ‘I’ is pointing to that?

While you contemplate that, Guruji [Sri Mooji] calls the I ‘the chameleon I’. I can be pointed to the body, to the mind. He says ‘God says I; the devil also says I’. So, this ‘I’ is more like a reference pointer. Where is it pointing to? It has pointed to the non-existent one, and now we are Seeing what is That which I can really rely on; the unchanging; that ‘I’ which is not coming and going. So, this ‘I’ is the Self.

So, it could be that the activities in your life could be the same. That’s why the Zen master said ‘Before enlightenment chopping wood, fetching water; after enlightenment chopping wood, fetching water.’ I have added two words to that (they would forgive me hopefully) which is ‘or not’. Because even that we cannot predict. Because many times, that itself becomes a condition, that ‘It must be like that otherwise you are not enlightened…, because a Zen master said that.’ [Chuckles] It can continue to be like that. It means nothing about your freedom. Whether you continue to chop wood and fetch water has nothing to do with your freedom.

Q: And in this phenomenal life, when you have to make decisions about your life, how do you know it’s coming from your Being and not from your mind? Because you are always in this confusion ‘What am I going to do next? Is it right for me or not?’ How do we make that distinction?

A: As you are withdrawing your belief in your limitedness, you will find that there is a deeper intuitive guidance which appears. And how to distinguish this one from the mind? And it doesn’t have to be like a voice or anything; it could just be like a deep urge to walk this way, to say this. It can be like that. Now this intuitive Presence, this guidance, you can taste because it has Presence of peace, of ‘no rush’. The mind is always grasping, it is always wanting. (What’s in it for me?) It’s always grasping something, it always wants a particular outcome. This intuitive Presence is not in a rush, not wanting, not pushing towards any outcomes. This you will see. It will become more and more apparent to you. Till then you will see that, as you are empty of all these notions about yourself, life continues in a way. And if there is confusion about whether it is mind or it is intuitive guidance, leave all voices. See how life will take care of itself. Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Leave existence to Existence.’

Q: Thank you.

Q: You had mentioned three cardinal signs of the ego. First was ‘What’s in it for me?’ Two, I think was ‘Me first before you’. And third, I have forgotten. So, I’m hoping that you can revisit that. It’s appropriate.

A: We said it (half-jokingly, actually; it’s half a joke, not fully a joke) because I have said many times that the maha-mantra of the mind, maha-mantra of the of the ego is ‘What’s in it for me?’

We got so used to entering every situation with this ‘How is this bringing value to me? Am I getting this? Am I learning this? What am I getting in this way?’ So that’s the maha-mantra; the constant. That’s why most of our attention actually has been dissipated with this looking at the events in front [of us] and also half the time looking at this maha-mantra saying ‘What’s in it for me? Am I getting this? How am I being perceived?’ So, it’s about self-image and what you are getting out of this. This is the first.

The second is ‘Me first.’ [Smiles] Yeah, whether we admit it or not, a lot of times in our life it is about this ‘me first.’ So, if somebody cuts in front of you in the car on the way to work, it’s ‘How could you do that? I was going first!’ So, this is ‘Me first’. Also, it is available to see in sangha behavior, isn’t it? That ‘Me first, me first; I want to be the first to get it.’

The third one is the minor corollary which is ‘If possible, me only.’ [Laughs] ‘If possible, could we make it so only I am enlightened?’ Just, you know… [Chuckles]

So, this is how the mind functions. And I was joking after that, saying that in Satsang, in the sangha, it is usually okay if nobody is getting it; everybody is fine. When nobody is getting it, everybody is fine. But if somebody seems to be getting it, then that is big satsang, big trouble! [Laughing and laughter in the room] ‘But I have been here for a hundred more satsangs than him! How…!? [Laughter]

Q: Also, sometimes it felt like even to ask this, sometimes it just goes ‘there is no point.’ Just because it comes from time to time, I think it’s best to clarify, you know? [The difference between ‘I Am, I Exist’ and Awareness]

A: It’s good because we can all look at this together.

Q: Sometimes it feels so real. So, I feel those moments are still coming when I feel identified. So, maybe just bring it up to clarify.

A: To get to this sense of Existence that I am speaking of, the simple thing you have to do is: Try to stop Being.

And you know this; you have heard this from me before. So, this, when you try to stop Being, you see quickly that that’s absurd. You see quickly that you can’t stop. So, this Being, which is just present, cannot be stopped…, is this Existence that I am talking about.

Now, you are aware of this, isn’t it? [Silence] Otherwise, it will have to be somebody else’s report that ‘I can’t stop Being.’

Q: It feels like…, I would call it as what Guruji [Sri Mooji] says, a ‘non-phenomenal feeling.’ (Yes.) It would be the same feeling as ‘I Am’ or ‘I am aware.’ So, maybe I could say more like …, because it’s not any of the body sensations, nor thoughts; and none of the thoughts can be aware of feelings and none of the feelings can be aware of thoughts. But something else is there. It cannot be touched, it cannot be seen, and this is the only way I can know it. But it’s Known (non-phenomenally) like this. Yeah.

A: What time did you wake up today? [Questioner thinking] You don’t have to be so precise. [Chuckles]

Q: Six-thirty.

A: So, what changed at six-thirty?

Q: I became consciously aware.

A: As long as this little qualitative difference is perceived, there was no-thing and suddenly ‘Here I was’ …, and the time seemed to be six-thirty. So, actually it is One Self. We don’t have to be so concerned about it; but this qualitative distinction of ‘Existing’ and that which is even before the sense of Existence, before ‘I Am’…, to See that there was nothing. Otherwise, the sleep state would be like a mythical thing. And it’s not a mythical thing. I say ‘Did you go to sleep last night?’ Yeah. So, it is your experience. But it is an experience where there was nothing…, but You were still there as No-thing, to have the experience of nothing. And then, the most primal appearance arises, which is ‘I Am’. ‘I existed at six thirty; but before six thirty …’

Q: My experience would be more ‘I Am, I exist’ and now I am starting to be aware of the body sensations and mind sensations.

A: Yes. But first You have to be there for any sensation, isn’t it? Has there been any sensation without You there?

Q: No. Yeah, and then I become aware of (not aware, but just this Knowing) that I exist not as the body, not as the mind.

A: Because it takes you a moment or two to reconcile that even this body is here. You might not have looked at it so closely, but in the first moment [upon waking up from sleep] we are reconciling which world is this. What is here now? But all of this reconciliation happens after You exist.

Q: Yeah.

A: So, this is the sense of existence. That’s why [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘In the waking state the best we can do, the truth we can speak, is ‘I Am’ …, but ultimately even this is not the ultimate Truth’ (or the primal Truth). Because That which is aware of even the coming and going of the states of waking, dream, sleep, deeply meditative states…, that one is the One Unchanging.

Q: Okay.

A: It is You. [Chuckles]

Q: Okay.

A: But this does not mean that there is a distinction. That’s why the useful analogy is the finger and the hand. [Example Ananta uses: ‘When I raise my finger from this hand, are there two? The finger comes from the one hand; it’s still one.]

Q: It’s just basically one is aware of Itself, kind of …, because there is no different non-phenomenal sensation of Awareness and non-phenomenal sensation of ‘I Am’ (let’s say).

A: We can settle for this. Right now, we don’t have to worry. If you really wanted to get into it, then you would say that you are aware of Existence.

Q: Yeah. Of the body sensation? Or just .., Existence?

A: Just Existence. Like ‘Can you stop Being?’

Q: Yeah, yeah. I cannot.

A: ‘Can you stop Being?’ is a little different question from ‘Are you Aware now?’ But it is only a qualitative distinction, and you don’t have to stress about it.

Q: Okay, so, yeah. It’s not like sometimes you can just go to ‘I Am’ and sometimes you can go to Awareness; it’s the same thing, it’s just…

A: It’s the One Self. (Let’s make it simpler). It’s just the One Self.

A: Okay, how about we forget the notion of freedom. When I see you as free, it is not a notional freedom that I see. I see that for what You Are, freedom or bondage is not applicable to That.  If you see the space and I say ‘What is the shape of this space?’ …, what do you see?

Q: Space.

A: So, it is not applicable; the shape is not applicable to space. And You are more spacious than space. To bind You; nobody has the instrument to bind You. Who can bind this space? How can I tie it up?

Q: I have this vision that I am nothing, actually. Then there is no ‘I’ at all.

A: Well, that is a Pandora’s Box. Do you have the energy to look into this one? The nothing notion?

Q: Yes.

A: See, ‘nothing’ …, many times, when we hear that you are nothing, it can seem like what is being said by the Sage is that you’re essence-less; empty of all essence. But that is not what the Sage is pointing to. The Sage is saying that Your Essence is no-thing. It is still Your Essence, the Absolute Self. It is no-thing …, but it is Your Essence.

What’s a good example? If this table is empty and I would say ‘What’s on this table?’ you would say ‘Nothing’. Because it is empty, you say ‘Nothing’. The Self is not that ‘nothing’ which is the absence of all things. It is That Essence from which all things arise. Although Itself empty of all qualities, all qualities arise from it. What are the words? [Speaks in Sanskrit and someone in sangha says it correctly back to him]

It is beautiful verse, which means ‘From fullness or wholeness, fullness comes.’ From That which is whole, the whole appears. And yet, in the appearance of this wholeness, the wholeness of That which it appeared from did not change. So, it is not an empty nothing; it is a whole no-thing, which is attributeless. That which is aware of all things but Itself is empty of all qualities. So, it is no-thing…, but it is not nothing.

Another example I took the other day was [Picks up a full glass of water] if there was no water in this glass, would you say there is nothing in the glass?

Q: [Nods head] Yes, I heard this.

A: Oh, you heard this. Okay, well suppose I had some other object. But still, the space to contain something would be there. So, it is not nothing. (Okay, if it is getting too much just tell me to stop.) [Chuckles]

If it was nothing, then it could not hold anything also. Like the ‘blue cat’ is notional, it is nothing; it cannot have flesh and blood. This no-thing, the Truth, the Self, gives birth to the space which contains all things. That is why I’m saying that when we hear the term ‘nothing’ many times we get into this sort of ‘empty void’ sort of thing, which is like there’s just nothing. But what you’re discovering is that you are discovering Your true Essence, which is not a thing.

A: What I am actually saying to all of you is that whether you are here in Satsang, whether you are outside Satsang, you are always free and the bondage is never real…, but it is a pretense. You know this pretense? If I am play-acting, then that is pretense. I am pretending to be something I am not. So, Consciousness has been playing this pretense, but it is playing a pretense because it is free to play the pretense. Even in the play of the pretense, the freedom is there. It is not trapped in the pretense. Even the ‘playing trapped’ it is playing.

I want to tell you that because it makes the problem (the seeming-problem) less serious. Otherwise it can seem like…, there is a term for cancer, they call it the ‘emperor of maladies’.

Q: Yes this ‘i’ is very serious; the speaker is very serious.

A: So, this one, especially for the spiritual speaker, seems like the emperor of maladies. (‘I have the most serious affliction.’) So, when I tell you that it is just a pretense and your freedom actually is unaffected by it, then…, because if I catch you in the middle of the road, you could be arguing with the auto rickshaw guy in that moment and I catch you and say ‘Show me that which is bound right now.’ [Silence] In that moment, you will not find that one.

So, the Truth is always present, but the ‘pretense’ is picked up when we pick up a notion about ourself, an idea about ourself. And also the second part of the seeming-problem is also not as serious as you make it seem like. (‘I have to speak through this ‘i’.) Actually, you are not.

Did you think about every single word that you were going to say just before the words came and they came exactly like that? No. There was no time for that. Just spontaneously, these words ‘came’. Even that is part of the pretense. You were not speaking through the ‘i’. The ‘i’ (this mind) is just a bundle of thoughts. The ‘i’ is just a make-believe. You cannot actually achieve any action through it. It is not a physical entity.  The mask is not even a physical, tangible mask. It is just a pretense.

You are not speaking through the ‘i’. Consciousness is speaking. The ‘i’ is not here. This small ‘i’ is not here. It is this big ‘I’ which Itself is the Source of all action. These words are coming out. Even if the words are saying ‘I am speaking through this small i’…, it is not true. They are just appearing in the light of your Being.

Now, you will start to see more and more that just as these words are appearing, those words are appearing. I know; because here also there was an idea at one time (before I met Guruji [Mooji]) that there is somebody here individually speaking these words.

Q: I know that it is not true, but experientially, most of the time (not all of the time, of course) it feels like this. And as long as it feels like this, I have to admit it is like this. I cannot just say ‘Okay, I am free.’

A: Now the best laboratory for this is: Right Now.

Q: Yes, that’s why I am showing up so much.

A: And when these words are coming, who is speaking them?

Q: Nobody’s speaking them, and still I feel that personal energy is still here.

A: See you have to go there first. [Points to head] [Chuckles] But everything after the ‘But…’ [points to head] you had to go there to say it; no? When I see that you go to this one [points to head] that was just an appended notion. You already said ‘Nobody is speaking them.’ But for the ‘But…’ you had to refer to some idea about yourself.  Let’s try again.

Q: [Takes a breath and looks down] But … [Laughter in the room]

A: Now, as you are speaking these words, just notice where they are coming from.

Q: No actually not from the head. I can say ‘But…’ without the head.

A: Yes, that is also possible, as Consciousness. I am not saying all ‘But…’ has to come from the head. [Chuckles]

Q: Experientially, personal energy is here.

A: What does that mean?

Q: That means that I feel myself limited.

A: Show me this feeling, how is it? What is it?

Q: I can’t show the feeling, but you can feel my energy now, I am sure.

A: I can feel only Consciousness. [Laughter]

Q: No, you …, I am sure you feel some contractions.

A: The contraction doesn’t create the ‘me’. The contraction is just a contraction.

Q: So, it’s just an interpretation.

A: The interpretation makes us pick the mask of ‘me’, the pretense of ‘me’. The contraction and expansion both happen in Consciousness. And you’re right that I can experience the contraction, I can experience the expansion. It’s true. But both are consciousness for me.

Q: Yes, okay.

How many have noticed how much the mind enjoys the ‘Why?’ question? It just loves it. ‘Why is this happening to me? Why me? Why is it like this? Why I am not getting it?’

Three letters, W-H-Y. And it completely abhors the ‘Who?’ question, W-H-O. Just one alphabet [letter] is different. And it is completely attracted to this ‘Why?’ question and completely repelled by this ‘Who?’ question.

Why is it? Why is anything? Consciousness. We are looking for phenomenal answers about phenomenal things; and the only cause of all things is Consciousness Itself.

It sounds like a strange answer, I know. Usually those who have heard from me in Satsang, when they say ‘Why is this happening to me?’ I say ‘Consciousness’. The correlation is not found, but it is the only answer. It is the only cause of all ‘whys’. And all effects are also experienced in Consciousness Itself. But the invitation, right from Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi onwards, is to ask ‘Who?’

Instead of ‘Why me?’ [ask] ‘Who me’? Because till we clarify who we are, the ‘whys’ of this life really don’t make sense.

And we have tried this often, haven’t we? We have made conceptual frameworks about things which will make our life work and then we see that something starts poking and the whole thing comes down like a house of cards. And we start fresh again and we rebuild. We say ‘Okay, this is going to work for me.’ Like you were saying ‘I went to a previous Master. Am I on the right track now?’ So, we are building. And these frameworks don’t work. This so-called knowledge we have about running our life doesn’t work because it’s only conceptual.

We are moving away from conceptual knowledge; which is just belief actually, it’s just opinion. We have many opinions about things, but what do we truly know? We don’t even know (and we can say this for most of this appearing humanity) we don’t even know who we are.

The ‘Who?’ question is very useful now. I would say that if it is at all possible for you to prioritize it over the ‘Why?’ question for some time, you will find that a lot of clarity will come. Because the ‘Why?’ question is dependent on a presumption of ‘me’. And the ‘Who?’ question will lead to clarity about who you are.

The only confusion ever is a confusion about mistaken identity. It can sound too over-arching when I say this. Watch this for some time, and you will see that behind every confusion there is a mistaken identity about who I am. And what is confusion? It is suffering. ‘Why did he do this to me, why did she do this to me, how could I have done that to them?’ …, guilt or grievances, guilt or resentment, false ideas of doership, the idea of desire. If we ask ourselves ‘Who am I?’ then you will see that the ‘Why?’ answer cannot really be given inwards.

There is no reason for anything at all except Consciousness. Some call it ‘The will of Consciousness.’ I can call it just Consciousness Itself. Why is anything the way it is? It’s Consciousness.

But it doesn’t satisfy the mind, I know this. So, that is why it’s better to ask the ‘Who?’ question for some time. ‘Who am I?’ Then you will see that a lot of things that came up, even things about unworthiness and whether I deserve freedom or not; am I ready? …, and even these are the mistaken identity, isn’t it? It’s not the True Self which is saying ‘Am I ready or not?’ And only the True Self is actually here. You see? If you take that extra step (God pretending to be a person trying to find God) then that is difficult. If you pick up the mask of personhood and then look for God, it is a long, long seeming-journey.

But you know the good news!? Mainly, I’m the bearer of this good news. [Joyous chuckle] It is that: Right Now, You are God. All masks have fallen off on their own. And you will see this also; you are seeing this also. The person is only a pretense of God, only the mask of God.

Q: [Broken English] What you say is clear, but it does not go deep. It’s not touching and it’s just like a flow and still, like nothing happens and it’s all the same. And you just pointed but it does not come.

A: Is it possible at all (and you can say ‘no’ if it’s not possible) for some time to put the notion of something needing to happen on pause at least?

Q: Notions means the idea?

A: The idea of something needing to happen; if you can just put that on pause, just don’t worry about it for some time. Possible? [Questioner nods] You know how I spoke about my arch-nemesis in the morning, which was ‘the checker guy’ …, this one that is constantly checking: ‘Is it happening, is it happening, am I getting it?’ This one itself is like (as Guruji [Mooji] says) the finger that is blocking the light of the moon or the sun’. Nothing needs to happen; You are the Self. To be the Self, I know that nothing needs to happen. You naturally Are. A happening would mean that you will become the Self, but you will never become the Self. So, for some time, can we forget about something needing to happen?

Q: Yes, it’s like I am looking for…, then it happens, something happens.

A: We are looking for some evidence of our freedom, either emotionally, sensationally; some thought confirming my freedom. I am saying none of that has the power to confirm what You Are.

Q: How to do?

A: What; the forgetting about something needing to happen?

Q: No, to find that it’s ‘I Am’.

A: Okay. Stop Being. Can you try to stop Being?

Q: No, but still I am like this identity.

A: Is this True? (Let’s go very slowly). You are existing, right now> Are you existing as an identity? To exist as an identity, first you have to think about it. But even before you can think about it, your existence is here, isn’t it?

Q: Yes.

A: If you see this, it is very good. Because we have believed the presumption that ‘I must be already a person, an identity sitting here and I have to get to God.’ What I am pointing out to you is that God is sitting here, but you can decide to play as a person by picking up a notion, the idea, of an individual. [Silence] I see God. What do you see?

Q: It’s like a habit to play that.

A: Habit, yes. This is very good itself; to see that it is just a habit. God has somehow given Itself this habit. That’s why Guruji says ‘Satsang is a rehab for God, by God Himself’ [Chuckles] …, where God is speaking, and God is hearing and coming to the recognition that it is God.

And many times, I have even heard a ‘why’ question about this. ‘Why does God do it this way?’ My favorite answer is, you know, if you’ve been to a movie, then it seems like the bad guys are winning for long time; for one hour the bad guys kept winning, kept winning, kept winning, and in the end the good guy, he just fires one shot; all over, finished. (If it doesn’t work like that, it’s not enjoyable.) So, the play of delusion happened over a period of time. A play of delusion (I know it sounds irritating to some of you but it) was enjoyed by Consciousness, to its fullest extent. And now the play of getting out of delusion is also being enjoyed by Consciousness, to its fullest extent…, you know, with popcorn, the movie scenes are happening, satsangs are coming [Laughter], Masters are coming, such beauty, sangha, beautiful brothers, sisters, they are coming. So, even the getting out of delusion is happening with these beautiful scenes being played out. But what was the Truth? You are always that God Itself; playing with delusion and playing with freedom.

Q: Still, I want to see it.

A: You are seeing it. That which Sees all of this, is that bound? That which is Seeing all of this, what can we say about That?

Q: Just Is.

A: Is It an object in this movie? Can you find that one? Where is It? This side? That side? Behind you? In front? The One that Sees all of this, is It another object in this movie itself?

Q: Yes, like what is seen, like a space; but still.

A: That which Sees even the space; what is aware of even the space? The very space of your Existence itself is witnessed by what?

Q: By Me.

A: Now that ‘You’ …, where is it? Is it in this three-dimensional world?

Q: I don’t know.

A: You have looked everywhere for it but you’ve not found it in this three-dimensional world, it’s not even in fourth-dimension of time because we have looked over a period of time.

When you say ‘go inside’, where do you go? Do you go inside the body? Inside the body, there is brain, there are teeth, jaw. When we say ‘go inside’ we leave this four-dimensional realm and we see our greater Truth which is beyond these four dimensions.

This secret has always been there with us…, if we leave this universe, in that moment of going inside. But the mind comes in and says ‘You are going inside the body.’ [Chuckles] That would be like sending a probe inside the body; you will see this flesh and blood. Not ‘going inside the body’ …, you are leaving this universe. You already are there. Where is this Awareness located?

That’s why the sage Ashtavakra said: ‘You are the boundless ocean in which the arcs of these universes, they come and go.’ Because you are beyond this play of time and space; already are. And you will not see it as a thing. So, if you are expecting to see something; then know that it will not be a thing that you will see. You know that you are aware, isn’t it? Are you aware? Or no? [Chuckles] Because even if you say no, what you would be saying is that ‘I am aware that I am unaware.’ This Awareness is inescapable.

I am not scared of the ‘no’ answer. [Chuckles] I know you are hesitating a bit. But actually, what would you mean by saying ‘no’? You will be saying ‘I am aware that I am not aware.’ This Awareness is inescapable, isn’t it? What is the color of this Awareness?

Q: No color.

A: Shape or size?

Q: Nodding. [No shape and size]

A: So, is there anything in this three-dimensional world which is without any quality? Shape or size? Color? Duration? [Silence] Getting the question? Is there anything in this phenomenal world which has no quality; no color, no shape, no size?

Q: Still didn’t get it.

A: So, this glass [picks up glass] even if we say it is transparent, we are pointing to a quality of the glass. Is there anything in this phenomenal world, this world of appearances which doesn’t have a single quality? [Questioner nods ‘nothing’]

What about this Awareness? That which is beyond quality is not an object of the phenomenal world. You are out of this universe already. The universe is in You.

(It’s only second day of retreat, I should keep quiet for some time.) [Laughter]

This is your Truth. You will not see it as some ‘thing’. But what is the Seeing itself? If you investigate That, you will see that it is colorless, shapeless, size-less and it is ‘I’ …, that ‘I’ which is no-thing.

Q: It seems that I should find something like ‘I’ where I can stay; like emerge or something.

A: I should stay what?

Q: Emerged. Someplace that I should find, where I will feel like space-less.

A: Every day you experience this, in that which is called sleep. But as long as the waking state is arising, the play of these phenomenal appearances will continue to arise. But the appearance of the waking state makes no difference to the Self (just as movement of the finger does not make any difference to the hand). So, the Self remains untouched, whether the waking state is there, the dream state is there or sleep state is there. You are beyond these states.

This You is this pure Consciousness, pure Awareness.

This is your Truth right now.

If I have a gift for you, it is this one: What You already Are, Right Now in this moment, is greater than any notion you can pick up about yourself. Even the notion of the greatest enlightened Sage cannot match Your Reality Right Now.

How many are with me on this one?

This Existence, this Presence, is not personal.

Whose Presence is it?

Your existence is whose existence?

Who is in doubt about their own existence?

Can you stop being?

Stop being, don’t exist.

Who is able to do it?

Why is it an absurd notion?

Because You know You Are.

You Exist.

Now, this existence is whose existence? Is this existence a bodily existence, just a bodily existence? No, the body has changed completely. The body that was born is not this body now. But Your Existence has continued. They say ‘body/mind organism’. What to say about the mind? [‘A bundle of thoughts’] One moment it is there and the next moment it is not. It comes and goes. But does Your Existence also come and go with that?

So, when Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘Who am I?’ he was asking the same question: Whose existence is it?

[Silence]

Now, one set of answers is coming to you from the mind, saying ‘My name is this, I was born here.’ Is there a deeper answer from your intuitive insight?

What are you existing as?

Any answers?

[Repeats the answers from sangha]: As Existence! (That was quick.) As Existence Itself. The witnessing. Presence.

Now, whether you see that You Are the Existence Itself or the Witnessing of even this Existence or Presence, can you tell me Your shape or size?

[Answers from sangha]: No.

Can you tell me when You were born?

What is true about You?

What’s beyond the surface of emotions, sensations, thoughts?

All these are there and they are fine; let them be.

What else is there?

[Silence]

If you expect something timeless from that which is time-ful, would you be wise? If you expect timeless happiness from something that comes and goes, what is the result of that? Suffering.  You know that this body is coming and going; all bodies that appear to us are coming and going. When we call something ‘mine’ what is that but an invitation to suffering? This ‘me’ itself is empty of Reality. And what does this ‘mine’ contain? My life, my relationships, my body, my money, my security. How long are all these things going to last?

Now, you might think that this means that ‘I must get rid of all my attachments one by one’. I am not saying that. I am saying check: Right Now, You Are free of them.

The mind, of course, will come and say ‘No, no, no, no, but, but, but, if, if, if, and, and, and, then, then, then.’ And if you just let it come and go, what are you finding about YourSelf?

Are you free or not free?

Not applicable.

Are you the doer or non-doer?

Not applicable.

Because all of this is applied to the ‘cat’ which I thought myself to be.

Now I am finding MySelf  to be much beyond the greatest cat ever.

As you come to your true inner silence, you will find (like she was saying yesterday) that it includes all things. Nothing is an opposition to your Truth. Nothing is an opposition to your Being. Actually, it is only shining in the light of your Being.

[Silence]

We find that God always puts the right amount of spices in every experience. Otherwise, it is very easy to believe that ‘I’m the most accepting person around’. [Chuckles] But when you start getting poked, that’s the time when we start to see: ‘What happened to oneness?’

[Silence]

So, outwardly you might look very serious (even I might look very serious for the next few days) but inwardly know that there is a gentle playfulness about it. We don’t want it to become a very serious retreat or something. It is just a tool, a technique, that we are using to discover our inward silence. But we are not going to be fanatical about it; we are not going to super-serious because then a lot of judgment comes; self-judgment and judgment of others. So, truest silence…

One day I said ‘My utopian silent retreat will be the one with no rules but everybody just comes conceptlessly and goes conceptlessly; [Chuckles] where there are no guidelines, no instructions, no methods to follow, no timings even. One day we will have a retreat like this, where you just come conceptlessly and go conceptlessly; no expectations, no results…, just drowning in our own Presence.’

[Silence]

So, this Being…, let’s use our outer silence to leave this Being unmolested, unharassed, by notions about Itself.

Who is doing it? Being itself. [Chuckles]

And every moment of this silence shows us the Reality of who we Are.

Q: How do I stay in unconditional love?  Why am I not in unconditional love?

A: ‘How’ has some more power than the ‘why’ question. ‘How’ implies that I’m open to a pointing. ‘How do I stay in unconditional love?’ Don’t believe any conditions about anything. All the trouble is only because of the conditioning. As you are dropping (and the good news is) it’s gone; it’s already gone. If you pick up one condition, it seems like they are all back. But again, gone.

How many have heard the conveyor belt example from me? Many of you haven’t heard. So, in a restaurant chain called ‘Yo Sushi’ there is a conveyor belt. They place all the sushi one-by-one in plates on this conveyor belt. This conveyor belt comes next to your table, you pick up whatever you like. There is no waiter, there is nobody to help you; just whatever you want. There is a menu which says what color is what. You pick up that color plate you want.

Now, the mind also operates in this way. It’s a conveyor belt which is offering you conditions, offering you notions. We pick up, we eat it; it is actually gone. So, this moment, it’s all gone. Zero calories. The next offer is coming, the next condition is coming. You can pick it up. At the moment it seems relevant, meaningful to us, it can seem like we are believing a condition about us. Any resistance for unconditional love and it might seem like we are believing a condition about another; but we only believe a condition about ourselves. So, we picked up a condition about ourselves.

Then what can happen is the mind is very smart. It will say ‘Yes, yes, he picked up the salad (she picked up the salad). Let me now serve the main course.’ (which is) ‘See, we told you not to pick up the condition, but you did.’ And you end up picking that one up and then it serves you the dessert, (the most calories). ‘I must not be worthy yet, or I must be distant at this point, I must not be deserving.’ It is served up that way. But actually, the minute that you are done with the dish, it’s over. All conditions have gone now. If I ask you what condition is there now, you will have to think about it first. Naturally, no conditions survive. Isn’t it?

So, because you are condition-less in this moment, I see only unconditional love.

[Silence]

Q: It still seems like I have to keep reminding myself of it. And then the question, that there must be a way that requires less effort.

A: Yes, I know what you’re saying actually, because it seems like our habit has become to pick up a condition so it can seem like it’s too much effort to avoid it. Here what I have tried to do is to make it quite simple (I don’t know whether it sounds simple to most of you). I make myself available Monday to Friday for at least two hours every day. And my feeling is, as you just sit in satang and just are open to what is being shared, all the effort is done automatically. It doesn’t mean that you have to attend every satsang Monday to Friday but whenever you can. Just that much effort is enough. Even this sitting in this retreat itself, you can just let yourself go and the pointings will do something on their own.

And I realize that all of us have struggled so hard with practices, with trying to get freedom. So, now I just want to sit in openness with all of you and as the sharing happens, something gets cleaned up on its own. I don’t find much else in this phenomenal play that I can do about it, except blessing all of you, of course, and making myself available in this way.

Q: Namaste. I am finding a lot of resistance in the (I don’t know how to put it but) in the letting go, in a way. As I said yesterday as well, I don’t want to exclude anything; I want to include everything. So, saying that I have to let go of a certain thought is limiting in a way.

A: Okay, so let’s try it this way; let’s try to include ‘everything’. If you include everything, what do you find yourself to be?

Q: Space.

A: Space; which itself is all inclusive, isn’t it?

Q: Yes.

A: Now as you include, suppose a little child comes and says ‘But you are a cat’ or ‘You are a monkey’. You will include the appearance of that idea, include the appearance of it, but will you believe it? Or you will still see that ‘No, actually, I see that I am space?’

Q: Yes.

A: So, as you are including everything, everything is being accepted, the appearance of it is being accepted, but does that mean that what it is pointing to in terms of your identity is being accepted?

Q: Yes.

A: Yes? So, then that would mean that you are being completely inclusive and then this little child comes and tells you anything, that you are an alien from space, and you go against what you are really seeing about yourself, and you buy into that notion as real; not as a play?

Is that your idea of inclusion? Or is it that we are being inclusive that of course the child is entitled to speak whatever it wants to speak?

So, the mind is entitled to speak whatever it wants to speak. It is doing its job and its doing it well. But does that mean that even when what it is saying is opposed to what we are truly finding about ourselves, we must believe what it is saying?

See, this is the distinction.

So, we are completely inclusive to the appearance of the mind, it is coming and it’s fine; it’s an aspect of Consciousness which is arising. But does this mean that we will take its word for it, even when it is contrary to our insight about what we are?

So, I am saying that this is how most of us have operated, all the time. A little child has been coming and telling us that ‘I am this, I am that’ and we have taken its word for it. Now we are saying: ‘What is it that I truly am? Can I check for myself?’

So, letting go is not a resistance to the appearance of anything, not a pushing away of the mind. We are letting it come and go and we are checking into the veracity of what it is saying.

Is that a fair enough inquiry to undertake?

I’m taking the time to explain what truly silence means. So, now, Right Here, Right Now, You exist effortlessly. Your Existence is completely effortless. Nobody is holding the existence up. You just Are. I Am.

This Existence has been considered to be some-thing. And you cannot do that unless you access the ATM. [Relating to Ananta’s parable that ATM stands for ‘Anytime Misery Machine’ or ‘Attention to Mind’] The notion that ‘I am some-thing’ only comes from the mind. Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘To see ‘I Am’ is to recognize God, to recognize Consciousness.’ To believe ‘I Am something’ is to play as limited Consciousness, individualized Consciousness.

So, all of spirituality ultimately (no matter what the path might be) is to get you to this simple ‘I Am-ness’ empty of the some-thing notion. And the some-thing notion only comes from the ATM notion, from the mind.

Now if I say to you, if I have said this to you ‘You are the Self; You cannot be some-thing’ and that is enough for you, then we are done. You are just this Self. And this Truth is apparent to You, Right Now. It is apparent to You Right Now, whether your thoughts are agreeing with what I am saying or not. It has always been the Truth. I Am.

Now, many times, just this one reminder that ‘You are the Self, You are not some-thing’ is not enough in the play of this world. Then the Master said ‘Surrender. All the some-thing that is coming, you surrender. Surrender means [pointing to MoojiBaba’s picture] ‘It is my Father’s problem.’ Whatever tool you need to use to surrender. What happens then is we come to this beautiful letting go. The Zen master said ‘Keep your front door and back door open, let all thoughts come and go; just don’t serve them tea.’ This is surrender. And this much is also then enough. It is the same as saying ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ …, just let it come and go. Then no ‘some-thing’ sticks and ‘I Am’ remains mask-less.

Now, some of you might say ‘This doesn’t work for me’ and that is fine. Either the temperament is not devotional or the letting go seems too difficult. Then we come to the realm of sadhana. What is the simplest? When the notion of ‘something’ comes, find out ‘Who witnesses that? Who am I?’ The thought is coming. Who is the witness of this thought? Find out if any thought, any ‘something’ is applicable to the Real You. In this checking, you will realize that all the notions of ‘something’ cannot apply to the Truth of what I Am.

How many are following what I’m saying so far? Because I can repeat, I can go back. Because this is really important because we’re talking about the fundamentals of the human condition and what Satsang really is. I feel for many of us, we’ve been in Satsang for a long time but we don’t recognize what is really going on. And the notion ‘I am something’ becomes the prerequisite to Satsang itself. ‘I’m a spiritual person now, I want my freedom. I’m the seeker; give me this.’ So, we’re not starting truly from where we are.

I want us to start from ‘I Am’ itself. Notion-less. You don’t have to do anything about it. Already this moment is giving you this gift. This moment has already given you this gift: You are empty of all notions about YourSelf. We start.

So, like I said, first is that we just let these notions just come and go. This is the surrendered state. I’ve advised many of you to just stay at my Father’s feet. This is what it means. Nothing is your problem now; all things come and go.

If that doesn’t seem possible in our temperament, then we inquire ‘Who am I?’ As you inquire, ‘Who am I?’ you will see that ‘These notions do not apply to me. I remain as I Am.’

Then, some might say that ‘Even inquiry doesn’t seem to help, I can’t do it, I don’t have the patience for it, it irritates me’ or something. Then other types of sadhana have been prescribed in various paths for the same purpose. Somebody might tell you ‘Why don’t you chant Ram?’ Then our minds space is completely devoted to the chant of a particular mantra, which are actually very strong energetically as well. As the chanting is going on, all our attention, all our devotion is going into the chant. So, the notion ‘something’ doesn’t get picked up.

Now, somebody might say ‘No, no, even chanting seems too much of a Hindu or Buddhist thing to do. I can’t. I want to be very scientific about this.’ So, then you might be advised ‘Why don’t you keep your attention on your breath?’ Remember the ATM? Because if attention is on the breath then attention is not going to all these mental notions. Just on the breath; then if you’re walking just keep your attention on the contact with ground.

You see? Beautiful practices. But it depends on where you are. Some will say ‘Okay, even this doesn’t work.’ Then I might say ‘Why don’t you do some hath yoga?’ For at least that period of time, you will focus your attention on your muscles and your bones; how they are. So, already you’ll get some room from this ATM, some space away from it, if you do hath yoga. Also, if you do some devotional singing. These are all very good to get to this notion-less-ness. All spiritual paths are actually keeping us in this sense ‘I Am’ in Your notion-less Existence.

Now, why is silence important? I’m talking now about the outer silence. If you look at many of the notions that you pick up, it is about how you will communicate, what you want to say next, how you’ll present yourself. So, if this whole task is taken away from you, then to come to true silence (which is Your notion-less Existence) is much easier because you don’t have to present yourself in any way.

This is the best part about a silent retreat which I always used to love. You don’t have to comb your hair, you can just walk around. Nobody cares what you’re doing, where you’re going. You just have this space and you don’t have to think about what to say next. You don’t have to think about what your roommate thinks of you, who’s getting it in Satsang, who’s not. There’s no need to communicate about any of this. And you find as this outward silence is deepening, you’ll find that it’s so much easier, lighter, to come to this true silence, which is the absence of egoic belief.  As you come to this absence of egoic belief of the notion ‘I am some-thing’ then all outer instructions, pointings, can be dropped.

So, it is found by all the great Sages through the centuries that this outer silence is very helpful for us to come to this inner silence of just Being.

Sometimes some people derisively call us ‘Neo-Advaita’. You know what that means? So, I have a new definition of Neo: Natural Effortless Openness. [Chuckles] That Advaita I am. If that’s what it implies, I am very happy. It is this natural effortless openness which is just Here on its own. You don’t have to create it, you don’t have to go looking for it. It’s your own gift to YourSelf.

Now he said ‘It has to be something more than a mind certificate’ but the mind is the only one not giving you the certificate. Everything else is showing you that you are free actually. Everything is already free. It is just the mind which is not giving the certificate. This is what happens, because we have a three-way conversation going on. I am saying ‘You are free, You are free, You are free’ and the mind is saying ‘Not yet, not yet, not yet’ and you are just getting tired, you know? You got a neck ache now. [Chuckles] You are watching a match between Federer and Nadal (or something) and saying ‘That’s a good move; this will really work now. Oh, okay.’ [Chuckles, turning head in one direction then other]

So, we are having this three-way conversation and you are like the third bird who is witnessing this. There comes a point where it seems like it becomes a one-on-one conversation with the second player. Sometimes (once in a while, like a guerrilla warfare, you know?) it comes up and takes an opportunity and shoots at you. But more or less, you start remaining with this intuitive voice, which is the voice of Your own intuitive Presence. Then you will start to see ‘I am free. Actually, bondage or freedom, both are not applicable, because I am so beyond these attributes.’

To want freedom implies a belief in existing bondage, isn’t it? And that is the trap. To want freedom implies a belief in existing bondage. In your looking, that falls apart. You See that there is none, isn’t it? Then the mind will use every trick, every ace up its sleeve. ‘It can’t be that simple. This can’t be it. Does he even know what he is talking about?’ [Chuckles] ‘Are you sure?’ [Chuckles] All these aces it has up its sleeve.

But You Are Free. I can say this about You in every moment, because it is true. I don’t want to address you as a person who needs to get to freedom, because I don’t see it. It is gone. Even if it was believed in the last moment, in THIS moment, you are fresh, empty of it. But the offer comes from the mind and it has strings attached. When you pick up one notion about yourself, it can seem like that the entire tree of conditioning is back. But the good news is that: Now it is gone. So, it is the mind which is working hard actually every moment to try to present to you something that you can pick up a notion about.

Where is bondage now? How are you bound that you want freedom?

How long, will we let the appearance of some sensation, a feeling or a notion, an idea…, how long will Consciousness continue to use these appearances to play as if It is limited?

As long as It wants. And that is Your will, as Consciousness Itself.

And all of you are so good. I say ‘Look at this space in which all of this is happening.’ You look and you find: It is unlimited. And you See: ‘It is within Me. I am the great spaciousness in which even the great space is born.’ All of you are Seeing it. It’s just a question of when You-as-Consciousness will decide to drop this habit, decide to drop this play of limitation. But the Truth is available Right Now.

Q: This space which contains everything is also perceivable, but the No-thing which contains space, that doesn’t seem to be perceivable (even though when I try to see it, the mind creates some image).

A: Very good. So, stay there. You say that ‘this No-thing is not perceivable.’ Beautiful. So, how is it known? [Silence]

Q: Something higher knows it.

A: Exactly. And You know it?

Q: But I still …

A: [Chuckles] So, the ‘I’ that knows it, is which one?

Q: The small ‘i’ tries to buy it; the knowing.

A: Let it try. What is the Truth? [Silence] This is a very beautiful point he is making. He says ‘It is not perceivable, and yet it is known’.

So, what is That which is unperceivable and yet known? What kind of ‘knowing’ is that?

This is a beautiful knowing. Because our knowing has been just conceptual knowing or phenomenal knowing. Now he is saying ‘It is unperceivable, and yet I know it’. Which ‘Know’ must this be? (With a capital ‘K’.)

Q: But the small ‘i’ is like ‘What do I do with it?’

[Laughter]

A: See, one good part about the cat story was that it also pointed to a very important truth. What does the cat do? (Don’t be afraid of sounding silly; I am going to sound very silly in a minute.) [Chuckles]

The cat does ‘me-ow’. What does it mean? ‘Me’- ‘Ow’. [Chuckles] ‘Me’- ‘Ow’. Any time you pick up the ‘me’, the ‘ow’ is coming. So, this small ‘i’ is going ‘me-ow, me-ow’. Let it. Let it come and go. That is the mantra of the cat anyway.

[Silence]

What gift do you want to give to the small ‘i’?

Q: I want the small ‘i’ to disappear; not disappear, dissolve.

A: Is it the small ‘i’ that wants the small ‘i’ to disappear? Can we look at this?

Q: Small ‘i’ wants the small ‘i’ to disappear. [Laughter]

A: It is a thief, posing as policeman, wanting to catch the thief. Is the Reality of You in opposition to any appearance?

Q: No.

I might have said the words, but I don’t feel like the meaning behind the words has been to ‘Come back to the Self.’ So, I’m not talking about any ‘come back to the Self’.

I’m saying: You are the Self already, Right Now.

If you didn’t have this notion that ‘I have to drop into the Self’ or ‘Become the Self’…, what are you Right Now?

[Silence]

Tell me what you are Right Now.

Q: [Inaudible]

A: Yes, but that’s another sensation. Even if there is relief and gratitude, that’s another sensation. Now, you can continue to call that ‘me’…, to say ‘I am that’. Or you can really look and say ‘Even these are appearing with in Me’.

What is true? Are they just appearances within You? Or are they what you are?

[Chuckles] So, let’s go back. I said: You Are the Self. What do you see when you check?

Q: [Inaudible]

Very good. But that’s also opening (that is an expansion, or it can be a contraction) just within You. What is that ‘You’ within which all of this is happening?

[Silence]

You see what I’m getting at? We’ve used phenomenal appearances to make a report about what we are. Now we are going beyond just the appearence of phenomena and truly Seeing:

What is it that I am …, in which all these phenomena come and go?

I’m giving you a preposition that You Are the Self.

Now you have to check and tell me if I’m right or wrong.

But it won’t be a feeling ‘I am the Self’. It won’t be a thought ‘I am the Self’.

It will be a truer, deeper intuitive insight.

Q: I wonder sometimes, what is that ultimate state…, where there is no feeling, where there is no concern about anything?

A: There is no such thing. As long as the waking state appears, the activity of phenomenon will be perceived, which is all-inclusive of whatever the phenomenon might be. There is no such ‘ultimate state’.

It’s just like you have discovered that the hand is the Truth. [Raises one hand and makes a fist] So, suppose now this hand is unmoving, not going anywhere, nothing is happening to it; it is the primal Witnessing, the primal Knowingness Itself. Now [Raises one finger from the fist] the finger came. Now, it’s still the same hand, no? The hand has remained the hand also, but now one qualitative aspect has appeared; let’s call that Consciousness, Being. With the appearance of this Consciousness, the Self has remained the Self only. But now, all the phenomenal play is starting. When the Light of this Consciousness appears, the world of activity [moves the finger in circle] begins. And with the world of activity, all this play of feelings, of events, of actions will happen.

So, there is a distinction between doership (or the sense of doership) and the end of activity. You See that there is no individual doer of actions, and yet activities continue. Even the wanting to be a ‘non-doer’ is a doing. [Chuckles] So, in this realm of activities, the activities will continue to happen, the feelings will continue to come, perceptions will continue to be perceived.

So, the ‘ultimate state’ which you want to know?

You Are. Right now.

Q: That’s where the…

A: Before the ‘but…, that’s where …’ what are you? Less than ultimate?

Q: No, same.

A: Same. [Chuckles]

Q: But things affect; in the city life, when I go back it gets …, I feel like there is something which needs to be flushed out, some toxins accumulate (or you can say something like that).

A: Yes, because like he was saying earlier, maybe the insight has been given back to this ‘reference point’.

Q: This I don’t understand.

A: Yes. This is very important point and many, many are missing this. This is very important.

You had the insight that You Are the Self. You met Guruji [Sri Mooji] and in his darshan, you saw that You Are the Self. Did this body see it?

Q: No.

A: The Self was beyond all of this. Isn’t it? So, what does that have to do with this body?

Q: Nothing.

A: So, whether this body continues to react in anger to some situations, or doesn’t react in anger to some situations, what does that have to do with the Self?

Q: Nothing.

A: Then your question was ‘When I go into work…, (which means when this body goes into work) then certain things get to her and she reacts.’ What does that have to do with the Self?

Q: Nothing.

A: Only when we try to own this insight individually, do we continue to use the expressions which are coming from this mouth or the actions that are happening from these hands as some sort of benchmark for the Self.

Q: This I don’t understand.

A: What you found was that You are the Self and all appearances continue to come and go. Isn’t it? Now in all those appearances, this body’s appearance coming and going was included, no?

So, this body was found to be like the waves of the ocean, and all waves are coming and going.

Now, if the wave is not going as high one day, or going very high one day, what does that have to do with the ocean? Nothing.

Q: It’s a phenomenon, it will happen. Sometimes high waves, sometimes low waves.

A: Unless you give the insight back to the notion of ‘an enlightened person’…

These words which are being spoken now; I can promise you there is no Ananta which is speaking them. They are just appearing in Consciousness. Your head is nodding right now. It’s just an appearance in Consciousness, and no Deepali is shaking her head. So, all of this is just the movements on the surface of the ocean.

Q: Yes.

It has to be this simple. Somebody said it can’t be this simple. It has to be this simple, because what have you seen about the truth? It must be that which is ever-present. How can the ever-present take ‘getting to’? Can we today demolish the idea of getting to freedom? ‘I will get it when I deserve it. I don’t know whether I got it. I got something, is this it?’

You have not got it; you will not get to it.

You have not got it; you will not get to it.

You Are It.

It is inescapable.

Now, you can choose to wear the mask of limitation or not; that’s it. Got it? (No.) [Big Laughter]

‘Getting’ implies it is something outside. If you are the Self …, and we looked yesterday; I said ‘Okay, lose yourself and we will go together finding it.’ Did somebody succeed at losing it? You are the Self. How to lose it? This world you might lose, your body you might lose, all your thoughts you might lose, all your feelings you might lose, all sensations you might lose. But You, the one that lost all of that, will still be there.

Q: Why doesn’t it stop?

A: ‘Why?’ The ‘Why?’ For who doesn’t it stop? This ‘why’ question; why doesn’t it stop? [Ask instead] ‘For whom doesn’t it stop?’

Did the Self go on a search? Who is searching now?  Who is searching now, is that is the Self? Okay, so I have good news for you if you are willing to listen to it.

NOW, the search is gone. [Long silence]

For one moment, Consciousness makes itself infantile, you see; like a baby. In that moment, something is heard. That why maybe Christ said ‘Only the babes will enter the kingdom of heaven’. Children. A child-like innocence comes over us. Because all our grown-up strategies have stopped working. You’ve tried all these various approaches; they don’t work. And Guruji [Sri Mooji] says that when you run out of moves, you become like a baby. A baby is not figuring out where the next feeding will come from. It is completely open to whatever happens. This running out of moves, this tiredness of the seeking; when you have tried all the various approaches there are, and in that moment you hear: ‘But You Are already all that you will never be’ …, and it is heard. It doesn’t become part of your program, part of your strategy.

Q: I have to say that most of the times when I check into myself really deeply I discover that I’m joy.

A: Very good.

Q: And I guess this resistance is coming that now I must let go of that; I’m supposed to go beyond that. But what if I don’t want to go beyond that? What if I am actually happy in that deep joy that I’m feeling? You know?

A: Yes, yes, yes. See joy…, and you will have to tell me what kind of joy. Because joy is a very broad word. There is like an objective joy that you get from tasting a sweet-tasting fruit. That’s an objective joy which comes and goes. There is a joy of Your own Presence which is beautiful. It is not objective, it is not coming and going. So, if you are speaking of this joy, it doesn’t have to go anywhere. In fact, it is the perfume of your Presence, the natural fragrance of it. So, if this is the joy you are speaking of, then no trouble. But if you’re speaking of that objective joy which comes and goes with the coming and going of objects, then you already know that it will be coming and going so you cannot rely on that always. The joy of your Presence is the stable one; your Being.

A: When I’m feeling like I’m in a bad mood or something and then I check into myself and realize ‘No, I am not that miserable self. I am that joy.’

Q: Exactly.

A: And now, I guess, the trouble that I am having is that it feels like I am going against my deepest nature to say ‘No, I’m not that joy. I’m space. I don’t care.’ Yeah.

Q: The discovery here has been that as I found myself to be this unlimited Being, the joy was my natural fragrance which was here so I didn’t have to hold on to it or push it away or anything like that. If this reassures you in some way, that as You’re coming to the Truth of what You Are, you’ll find that love, peace, joy, all of these are your natural fragrances here. You don’t have to push it aside. In fact, it is very natural.

There is another kind of joy which is Brahmananda which means that Joy that does not come and go; even though the states might change from waking, to sleep, to dream. The joy of the Self; Brahman-ananda. The joy of the Self…, which is beyond all conceptual experience.

The simple way to look at this is that when we’ve had enough of this experience, we want to go into this joy of sleeping; and you get very frustrated if sleep is not coming. So, was there something in sleep state? Was there even the tasting of like a phenomenal joy? No. As you are discovering this Truth of the Self in the waking-state, you’ll find that these phenomena of love, peace and Joy are in service to Your Existence. In fact, you’ll have so much of it, you’ll want to cut it into pieces like a cake and distribute it to everyone around. It is so beautiful.

My words are not in opposition to joy. In fact, you’ll find that as you’re Seeing YourSelf in Your Truth, all this will naturally will be your fragrance, your perfume.

A: Okay, let’s do something simple; all of us. Show me where your boundary is.

Show me where your boundary is?

[Silence]

Found it?

Q: No boundaries except of thoughts.

A: Yes, [ Smiles] that’s what I’m saying. And the thought is not a real boundary, but a pretense.

Q: Except from some feelings, but they are same as thoughts we can say.

A: Even the feeling uninterrupted is no trouble, is no boundary. You need the interpretation that ‘This should not be’ or ‘This is what I am’ …, some interpretation from again the mind itself. You are that space that in which gazillion feelings can come and go and they would not touch You.

Most of you know this example which I take. There’s big white wall and I make a small black dot on it. And I ask all of you ‘What do you see?’ 99.9% will say ‘I see a black dot.’ Very few will say ‘A big white wall; one small black dot.’ Why? Because we don’t recognize the space. We only recognize that which is moving. This feeling where it shouldn’t not be there; that.

What is the space in which the feeling is coming? I promise you that if I put million more feelings just like that, that space will remain untouched.

[Silence]

And this is what we are going to check for ourselves; come to this insight for ourselves.

Like I said in the beginning ‘Don’t believe in what I’m saying, check for yourselves.’

I asked him also ‘The space in which the feeling is there, is it not the same space where this voice is there?’ Same space.

Where is the separation between me and you?

Where is your boundary?

Q: I’m still a little bit mixed with the identification with the body. I feel this energy in the body and I feel myself also as this body.

A: Okay, again slowly. You feel the energy which is in the body. You feel that there is body here. How do you say that you are this body? Is that energetic or is that interpreted?

Q: Because I can see that I’m everywhere but at the same time, I can surely see that I perceive through the body.

A: Ah. So, it’s the centrality of the perspective which seems to be from inside this head, from behind these eyes, that it seems it convinces us. But we’ve had so many dreams also where it seems there is a body there and I’m watching from inside the body. But where were you actually?

Where you an object contained behind the eyes in the dream?

Although the centrality of the perspective was the same, it was seeming like you were looking from within those eyes, from behind those eyes. Where you actually there?

This is very, very common because we feel that ‘I must be an object inside this head’ or something behind these eyes because my vision seems to confirm that.

What object is there behind the eyes?

Do you feel like you are an object behind the eyes or a non-object?

Q: It seems like I have the capacity to feel myself also as an object and also as a non-object. It feels like this.

A: Yes. Only something which is beyond the object state can have the capacity for both. If it were just an object…, like the glass cannot say that.

Can there be something which is not phenomenal but located in the body?

Can there be something non-phenomenal located in the body?

Q: Yes, not located but because it’s everywhere, it’s also in the body.

A: Ah, that’s different. [Chuckling]

The body is in It then. It is everywhere, therefore also in the body. Therefore, the greater thing we can say is that the body is included in That.

Why does it single out this body to identify with? Because of the centrality of the perspective. It can seem like I’m looking out of this body.

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Use link below: Times from: 45:20 – 49:16

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Q: I’m still a little bit mixed with the identification with the body. I feel this energy in the body and I feel myself also as this body.

A: Okay, again slowly. You feel the energy which is in the body. You feel that there is body here. How do you say that you are this body? Is that energetic or is that interpreted?

Q: Because I can see that I’m everywhere but at the same time, I can surely see that I perceive through the body.

A: Ah. So, it’s the centrality of the perspective which seems to be from inside this head, from behind these eyes, that it seems it convinces us. But we’ve had so many dreams also where it seems there is a body there and I’m watching from inside the body. But where were you actually?

Where you an object contained behind the eyes in the dream?

Although the centrality of the perspective was the same, it was seeming like you were looking from within those eyes, from behind those eyes. Where you actually there?

This is very, very common because we feel that ‘I must be an object inside this head’ or something behind these eyes because my vision seems to confirm that.

What object is there behind the eyes?

Do you feel like you are an object behind the eyes or a non-object?

Q: It seems like I have the capacity to feel myself also as an object and also as a non-object. It feels like this.

A: Yes. Only something which is beyond the object state can have the capacity for both. If it were just an object…, like the glass cannot say that.

Can there be something which is not phenomenal but located in the body?

Can there be something non-phenomenal located in the body?

Q: Yes, not located but because it’s everywhere, it’s also in the body.

A: Ah, that’s different. [Chuckling]

The body is in It then. It is everywhere, therefore also in the body. Therefore, the greater thing we can say is that the body is included in That.

Why does it single out this body to identify with? Because of the centrality of the perspective. It can seem like I’m looking out of this body.