BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

[Reading from the chat]: “Dear Anantaji, one finds the very process of the recognition itself is weighing down on oneself. The process of the recognition itself is weighing down on oneself. Sort of disconnects oneself from the emptiness. Even this disconnects looks meaningless, after the previous sentence. Just wanted to share that the definition seems to interfere. Just try to keep calm and see how it unfolds.”

A: Yes. This is very good, if you just keep calm and allow it unfold. This is good.

A few years after I met Guruji [Sri Mooji] maybe three or four years after I met Guruji, it became very popular, these ‘Keep calm and …’ posters. What was the original one chosen in the British war?

S: Keep calm and carry on.

A: ‘Keep calm and carry on’ was the original one. They kept changing it. The ‘carry on, part two’ became very popular. So, then somebody had made one for me for a present. They had made me a poster which said ‘Keep calm and trust Mooji.’ [Sangha and Ananta Chuckle] So, for a while I even made it my Facebook profile photo or something like that. Later I just saw ‘Keep calm and trust the Master.’ Then is this simple.

Yeah, to keep calm and see how it unfolds. Because all of this weighs us down, this idea that something is happening. The idea that ‘I am doing this or not doing this’ or ‘This is happening enough or not happening enough’ … all of these weighs us down. And of course, all of it is notional. But there is a point where we don’t yet recognize how many notions we still carry. And when these come and play, then they feel like valid representations of reality. When some notions come, they still feel like valid representations of something real, of ‘What Is’. That’s why they seem to get our belief because they seem like they are valid.

As we are going through this ‘cleaning up, washing out’ it can seem like the notion of cleaning up, the notion of washing out itself is weighing us down also. It can feel like that, of course.

So, in these times, whatever brings us to peace, whatever helps us to remain calm is good. And if you find that it’s not working out, trying to be at peace, then fully let it dance around. [Hand gestures in the air] Like that. But this half-and-half can get into a struggle.

We keep falling in to those mind tricks. Then it can be like, this way is suffering, this way is suffering. How to escape suffering? It’s everywhere; there is limited identity, there is doer-ship; there is all of this desire to be rid of or to have.

So, what is this ego? It is a 3D- ego. 3D. I have taken this example after a long time. I used to say ‘The ego is 3D ego.’ One is ‘Duality’ firstly, because the idea of separation in inherent to it. And once you feel that you are separate, then obviously, you feel like ‘I am a limited object. If I had that object, then I will be better, something will be better.’ So that is called ‘Desire’ the second D. If I make myself into a limited object then I can feel like ‘I’m so small, I’m so incomplete; I need this, I need that.’ So, that is ‘Desire.’ And the minute we fall into the desire that ‘I wish I had this or I did not have this’ (‘What can I do to get it? Or what can I do to avoid something?) there is comes ‘doer-ship’. So, this ego is built around this construct; this 3D construct of duality, desire and doer-ship.

If you did not have any of these notions, if you had no distinctions at all, no duality, then what is there to desire or not desire? What is there to do or not do? And then we fall out of this game of placing blame or giving credit. For doer-ship, it is very popular to play that game. ‘I’m not the doer, he is. So, when he is doing good things to me, I’m like a happy servant. But when he is treating be badly, it’s like ‘Why me?’ But to be rid of doer-ship, actually is to be the rid of the idea that ‘There is doing.’ (Not to come to a conclusion about ‘who is doing’. Those, at best, are provisional.) It’s like the waves are moving on the ocean. We’re not saying ‘The ocean is doing it.’

So, we have made ‘doing’ out of movement or ‘doing’ out of activity. That is what gets us in trouble. Now, whether we ascribe that doing to a greater force that makes us temporarily feel better, before we start becoming victim … or we ascribe doer-ship to limited entity, which does not exist anyway so it is bound to be fraught with suffering. But that is not what is ultimately important. It may seem provisionally that ‘I’m moving this locus from an individual doer-ship to a doer-ship belonging to Consciousness or the Satguru’ … but then, it is the emptying of the notion of doer-ship itself. Because it is just this. [Makes hand gestures in air] Who is doing it? Nobody. The concept of doing does not apply. That’s why I say ‘Not applicable.’ That’s what I meant. It is not really about who is doing it; whether it is God doing it or the non-existent person is doing it. It’s not about that. It is actually that there is no such thing as ‘doing’. This ‘doing’ means ‘nothing.’

To give credit or blame to either this way or that way, then it is still to put it in the box of limitation.

S: I’m still experiencing the darshan of this realizing of my certainty, my spiritual concepts which I had very subtly replaced with non-spiritual concepts and this pointing to them.

A: You have replaced non-spiritual concepts with new spiritual concepts.

S: Yeah, yeah. You know, like this is what this journey to freedom looks like; there are some things that arise like great resistance and then there is an examination and then like this narrative. And now also this thing you said about ‘I don’t know what up is’ … that’s like some curtain has been pulled back over all these subtle certainties I had been operating with. And now it’s like I’m looking at things and I’m just a sort of observing how I don’t know anything at all. And then each time something is recognized as not certain, it seemed that there was ‘someone’ who was certain about it. You know, there was identity hiding under the rock of that belief that was never really observed. And it’s been really wonderful. And I think it’s different. I think at some point I may have been … if this had come (I don’t know if this is just conjecture, but) in the past, I might have felt too untethered and now I feel very relaxed in this total uncertainty of everything; which has been really wonderful. And I notice that even around this idea, there is still something; I can see the tendency to form a new concept around the uncertainty concept, you know.

A: Yes. The beauty of uncertainty.

S: Yeah, yeah. You know, the vision…

A: Yeah, well spotted, well spotted. Because yes, if you keep spotting like this, it is very good. Because the mind will want to participate in all of this as well and say ‘This is really nice. You must just keep this.’ It’s like we’re letting go of all uncertainty, all certainties … and then it can feel like we have become very certain about uncertainty.

S: Yeah.

A: But this is a beautiful report also because many Sages have called this ‘empty of whatever we thought we knew’ as tranquility. Some have called it ‘peace.’ Some have called it ‘shanti, shanti’ just like this, to let go. And actually, this is the beauty of right Now, Here and Now. We actually start every moment like this. So, it’s not even really that we dropped it (although we can say we drop it) … it’s not even really that we dropped it; even that is already done for us. Even the dropping is already done for us.

That is why I said ‘No prerequisite, no precondition; nothing has to happen or not happen.’
Then the spiritual templates that we make, that ‘first like this, then like that, then like that’ also then go for a toss because what template do I need to sit where I am sitting right Now? What road map is needed? What are the landmarks that you have to cross? You see?

What is Here Now, irrespective of what objects you may perceive or not?

So, we are here to find the self. Where should we look? If you lost your phone, where would you look?

[Sangha]: The usual places.

A: [Smiles] You look in your room. You look on the way from where you came. Isn’t it? So, you look in this world; okay, like that. Now, will you look for your phone in your emotions? [Smiles] Will you look for it in your thoughts? You might look for it in the sense of ‘Let me try and remember where I put it’ … like that. But you are not expecting to find your phone there and pull it out. (Unless you too much believe in ‘The Secret’ and this kind of stuff. That’s a different topic altogether.)

So, looking for the phone is like that. Now suppose that you are wondering whether you are experiencing pain or pleasure. Where will you look for that? You look in the body sensations. You will probably do an audit of the physical body and see whether something is in pain. So, you look for that in the body. Now suppose there was a song that you were hearing yesterday and you lost that, what that song was, and you are trying to recall the name of the song. Where will you look for that? You are not remembering the name or the lyrics. It is just you have some tune like ♪♫ taa, taa, taaa ♪♫
…
S: Shezan. [Song-finding program on the internet]

A: Shezan, okay [Sangha and Ananta Chuckle] Suppose before, pre-shezan days. Where will you look for it?

S: Memory.

A: You look for memory; look in the mind and then, what else?

You lost an emotion or something. You wanted to experience a bliss that you experienced after meditation. Then you look for your emotion over there, in the emotional aspect of you.

What is left? What about the Self? Where to go looking for that? Like you were looking for the phone? Or like for emotion or thought, memory?

What about intellect? If you were to compute 5000 into 94 … where will you go? [Smiles] You can go to this intellect. Can you search for the Self like that?

Then how are you searching? How are we searching?

S: By noticing what is there when you let go all of them.

A: If you let go of all of them, then what is there? Good, okay. So, how to let go of all of them? (Okay, so far everyone is with us?)

It is clear that it cannot be in this way, isn’t it? It cannot be found as an object, it cannot be found as a memory, it cannot be found as an experience, as any perception; let’s put it that way. And it cannot be found in a concept. In a computation … you won’t figure out the Self just like you could figure out 5000 into 94. So, it is not figure-able that way. It is not perceivable that way.

Then he says something beautiful. He says to notice what is there, when all of these things are kept aside. When all these layers (let’s call them ‘layers of our existence’ for a moment) are kept aside, then what is there?

Notice, now the question is: How to notice that? How will we let go of them?

S: By inquiry.

A: By inquiry. Okay, very good. Then?

S: Noticing the one which is trying to notice.

A: Noticing inquiry. Noticing inquiry. To find the one which is noticing the noticing, this kind of thing. How to let go?

S: Let the attention rest; resting of attention.

A: Okay, resting of attention is there. Not in the movement, you are saying. Any other method?

S: Not in the movement; not in the arising.

A: Not in the arising. Only in the resting. Then?

S: Bring the attention on ‘I’.

A: Try to bring the attention on ‘I’. What is this ‘I’ you try to bring it on?

S: It is Being … it’s like Knowing.

A: Being, Knowing. Bring the attention on that.

Suppose I was to say that nothing was needed. [Chuckles]

S: Can you say it once again?

A: That nothing was needed.

[Sangha Laughs]

Not in the way attention has to be; not any prerequisite. And the letting go which you said … what if I say that is already available to you naturally? It is already gone; whatever needs to be let go of is naturally gone. Not one-step, not one movement, and irrespective of whether movement is happening or not: there you will find it.

Too strange?

So, what do we see? It is not in the objects. It is not in all these perceivable energetic constructs. And you say ‘What is there when all these are not bothered with?’ When is the best time to find this?

S: Now.

A: Now. Here and Now. Because Here and Now, you don’t start any ‘Now’ bothered with anything, actually. So, this is very direct, very direct.

Q: So, the world takes on an added power or the colors are brighter? Or it’s a dreamlike quality?

A: It’s like a more vibrant dream. And why more vibrant?

I usually don’t say anything like this, like something has to change or something changes when you see the Truth about YourSelf because I know it makes these benchmarks. So, I’ll give you the simple thing that I’ve found here.

It’s that because attention is not so dissipated between what is being perceived and the maha-mantra of ‘What’s in it for me? Am I understanding this? Am I getting this? Is he a nice person, is she a bad one?’ And then … (we’ll do this, okay?) Look at this hand. [Holds up his hand] Put your attention on it, clearly. Now, think 3 thoughts … without the hand getting blurry … (you’ll notice that, as your attention goes to those thoughts).

So, although attention is the child of Awareness in a very pure way, it has one thing which sort of distinguishes it from Awareness, which is that it is limited. So, if you try to fully see it with clarity, and then you try to think of a tree or something or some thought, you’ll see that this [vision of the hand] starts to blur and this [points to his head] comes into view. And most of our lives have been like this; half here, half there, half here, half there; not really tasting the candy in this world also; just so caught up half the time in trying to get more candy, then we never taste it when we get it. [Sangha laughs] It’s like that, really.

So, that vibrancy now changes because your attention is not getting now dissipated between ‘What’s in it for me? Can I keep this? Will she leave me?’ [Gestures anxiety with his hands around his head] All this kind of nonsense that we go on with… it’s just being perceived. You don’t even need the label ‘hand’. It is just perceived. That’s why the vibrancy seems to go up, because attention is just flowing so naturally. You’re not trying to own it, grasp it; you’re not trying to push something aside. And yet, it is clear that this does not contain You. In that way, it is still like a dream. Like, it is contained in You. It contains you but it does not confine You. Let’s put it that way.

Q: There’s this practice called mindfulness where it’s suggested to be aware and be present; to be aware of the thing that you are doing. So, by being focused on the experience, we get more aware of our own Awareness.

A: When attention is just on the object, yes. They say ‘When you eat a grape, just eat the grape. When you’re walking, just walk.’ Like that. So, what happens is that it’s like a sadhana, isn’t it? ‘Sadhana’ … a practice. So, 99% of spiritual practices are about trying to master attention in some way. But here, because I tried most of them and I was terrible at them … [Laughs] … I tried this mindfulness (‘When I’m walking, I’m just going to walk’) and for two or three minutes, it looks very good. Then it’s back to [points to his head] ‘Da, da, da, Da, da, da. Am I doing this right? Will I soon become a Sage? What is going on?’ All this kind of stuff can come. So, I was terrible at this kind of attention-controlling.

S: And after, you ‘try’ to walk…

A: Yeah, exactly. [Chuckles] So, here, more what I’m saying is actually like surrender. What I’m saying is more like surrender. It’s not really a sadhana. It’s more of a giving up.

Just … Let … Go.

[Silence]

One ‘surrender’ is, of course, to say ‘I surrender’ [makes namaste, reverently] ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam’.

But this is a surrender which is like ‘I give up! Stop!’

‘Huh!?’ [Acts surprised] It’s like when you’re mindful and ‘trying’ and it’s like [Gestures the stress of trying] and then you’re just like this [Gestures full relaxation and a big sigh of relief]: ‘I give up.’ …  ‘Ahhh…’  So, that seems more direct to me, to not make it a product of this practice or that practice, of doing it this way or doing it that way.

Just to see: ‘Ahhh…’

But before any of that can happen … (which I’m okay with. Many of you are more natural with staying with the sense ‘I Am’ or you’re natural with staying with this mindfulness; it’s completely fine) … but here, because I could not sustain my attention on any of these kinds of things, in spite of trying for a few years, I just noticed that when I gave up, I just saw: ‘What…?’ [Shows wonderment of relaxation and relief]

So, this is a simplistic way of experiencing that: just giving up. Just like ‘Ahhh….’

But again, not giving up while holding onto the idea of giving up. [Mimics tense trying]: ‘I’m giving up’. Then you’re not giving up.

Give up on everything, including giving up.

Like when we say ‘I don’t know’ … then many people confuse it as ‘To know that I don’t know.’ They get empty of everything else and then fill themselves with the notion that ‘I don’t know.’ If somebody comes and says ‘Which way is the hospital?’ they say ‘I don’t know.’ But you can see it over there. [Gestures a look of stupidity]: ‘I don’t know.’ It just becomes a conceptual ‘I don’t know.’ You see? You have a sense of this? I know that for the intellect, it won’t make any sense, what I’m saying. But to not hold onto even ‘I don’t know’ IS ‘I don’t know’. To know or not know … not in that box at all … is the ‘I don’t know’ that I’m talking about. It’s not a position of knowing or not knowing.

All of this is Dvaita / duality; all of these opposites are duality. We’re talking about Advaita / non-duality; literally no distinction … no prerequisite, no cause and effect, no time and space; no nothing at all, not even Brahman.

This can also be confusing. It is denial of the assertion of Brahman. It is only a denial of the assertion of Brahman. Because if it needs an assertion, then it cannot be It.

It-Itself is independent of the assertion or negation.

So, when I’m denying, when I’m saying ‘Not even Brahman’ I’m denying the term ‘Brahman’ and the assertion of ‘Brahman’ … not what it actually points TO, because that is independent of the assertion of it.

Basically, I’m denying any notion about anything.

S: Words.

A: Words; the terms. Because distinction comes with ‘term’. One term gives rise to the world of distinction. You see? Because we don’t even understand a term independently. Isn’t it? If I say ‘tree’ … what is a tree?

S: A plant.

A: A plant. What is a plant?

S: A form of life.

A: A form of life. See? So many words. The ‘tree’ is not enough. If it was just a term where you could say ‘tree’ … that’s all I want. Done. No, but you pick up everything; the entire dictionary you pick up, when you pick up one word. Because it’s all circular; every term points to another term, which points to other terms.

So, I’m just denying this entire box of terms … (and [denying] the denial of them).

[Sangha laughs]

Because I’m not like ‘A denier.’ I’m just denying the denying and the terms also.