BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

Something similar also we looked at the other day when someone was saying that ‘It is my attention that then goes to this unlimited Self.’ And I suggested for him to look: ‘So, where does this attention arise from?’ Because with our attention, it can feel like ‘I am going TO this’ but actually it is more like the spring which is coming back to rest, empty of the springiness. So, you look at the source of where that looking is coming from.

Because what has happened is that we got so used to looking at the content of things. Now, when it is withdrawing (in a way) to that which is non-perceptual. it can feel like ‘Oh, it is coming from that side to this.’ So, we must clarify this a bit and See:

What is the source of this looking itself?

Where does it arise from?

Does it arise from a piece of content?

Does it arise from a thing?

Only things can arise from things. A ‘non-thing’ (there is no such thing as ‘arising’ for it in the first place, but just to use words) it does not arise from phenomenal parents. So, you are in that other dimension (or let’s say that is the only dimension).

That fits very well with our neighbor example:

That is home.

That is home and You are That.

Now, where do you want to go? [Chuckles].

Better than that, it is easier to say ‘This is home.’

IS is home.

You are home.

Now are you lost? Need some direction?

[Looks around and smiles]

Ego is nothing but a pretend-becoming. ‘What Is’ just Is.

If you are becoming something, forget about it.

If you have not become, forget about it.

If you have become, forget about it.

That which needs time, forget about it.

That which is timeless, you cannot think about anyway.

[Smiles]

So, like I was saying last week, surrender all that you think you are right about. I am no longer interested in taking all those things which you are [feeling] wrong about because those you have surrendered anyway. We don’t want them any more. [Chuckles] It is only what you feel you are right about that I want.

[Silence]

What does it mean: ‘right about’? Anything that you think you know about this world, about life, about how a devotee should be, how a disciple should be, how a Master should be, what freedom is, what binds you; anything about the past, any projection about the future.

[Silence]

And then the mind will have just one trump card. It will say ‘But then my life is meaningless.’ And the Master will say ‘This ‘me’ is meaningless.’ If you still hold on to the ‘me’ then all of this will seem like oppressive meaningless-ness of the world. You let go of this limited idea of yourself. You have to just try it. [Smiles] I can’t say what will happen. Don’t be scared to divest everything of its meaning; especially the ‘me.’

[Silence]

Who was saying the other day? … that it is like a bit like learning to ride the bike. Initially, it can seem a bit wobbly. ‘Oh, I’m going fall or I’m going to hurt myself.’ But once you see that it is so natural, then you will wonder what the fear was about.

If we make no distinctions, if we forget about everything that we have learned, even the spiritual concepts, if we don’t value any interpretation or any label, everything becomes just part of the play.

[Silence]

Then it is only one thing that causes you suffering: it is something that you think you know. [Chuckles] You cannot suffer without knowing anything. Only when you think you know anything, can you suffer. This conceptual knowing…, what is the need for it? Does Your Existence need to know something? If you forget everything that you know about the Self, about the world, about everything, will You cease to exist?

Guruji [Sri Mooji] takes this very nice example. He says ‘What does the tree need to know to grow its next branch?’ It is not deciding ‘Oh, the next one I’ll make on the left’ and yet so beautifully it can unfold. But it is not even concerned with beautifully or not-beautifully because that can be like a half-surrender. ‘I surrender to you, but make sure it comes out beautifully, okay? That is what I was promised.’

The tree is not concerned with how it turns out. There’s a greater Intelligence which is running its life; that same Intelligence which is running this life, the same One that is making this heart beat, this breath happen, these words appear. There is nobody sitting here saying them. But sometimes when these words come, that same Supreme Intelligence decides to play as if it is an object.

[Silence]

So, the only suffering, the only bondage, is something that you think you know. But we don’t know anything at all.

Who is here? Who exists?

Does anyone know this? Who exists?

Nobody can know this from the mind and yet we want to know ‘Why is there this in the world? Why does this exist in the world? Why is it like that?’

But who exists?

Whose Existence is this?

I don’t find (I have never found and none of you have ever found) a limited Existence. Have you ever found an Existence which has a boundary? Have you met such a thing?

So, the one that claims to be limited, what is that? Where is that? Who is that? The one that has positions (including the position that ‘I’m empty of all positions’) is who?

Suppose you have this neighbor and this one keeps messaging ‘Come and help me.’ So, you go to his house. You open the door. [Chuckles] ‘What has happened?’ you ask him. He says ‘You have to help me.’ You say ‘I’m here to help you. What is it that you want?’ He says ‘I have lost my way. I want to get home.’ You say ‘But you are home.’ [Chuckles] He says ‘I don’t think this is home because my thoughts are telling me I haven’t got it yet.’ [You say] ‘But you Are home.’ He says ‘It doesn’t feel like home.’ So, the game can continue day after day; Monday to Friday it can continue like this. And then, after a while, it can seem like the last time you met him, he got it. He Sees he is home. [Chuckles] Then the next day, he sends you a message ‘Help me. Come, come.’ Then you come. Then he says ‘I got it.’ [Laughter] ‘I finally got it.’ And then, day after day, he is messaging you to confirm that he has got it (or she has got it).

So, this is the game of the spiritual seeker. Never left home. You can’t leave it even if you try. This game of ‘getting’ and ‘not getting’ is what defines the seeker. What is the ego? Just a grasping, isn’t it? It’s like a resistance to ‘What Is’ and grasping for what is not. It can feel like something in the Is-ness is not enough…, but never really checking. It’s like you have the refrigerator full of the best food but you go out begging, saying that ‘I don’t have a morsel to eat.’ [Chuckles] So, how will this work? Neither the searching for it nor the proclamation of it is It. You Are It…, but which ‘you’ is this? Not a made-up you; not this coming and going body- you. That which has never moved, has never changed; the Unchanging Self is Your Reality. This One, You can never lose (and you can never find actually in the way we think of finding). Many times, it can feel like ‘I have to find this Truth as if I will find an object’ or ‘I will find the Self as a luminous something.’ [Chuckles] But what witnesses even that? Everything in the world is made up of something.

What about Your Awareness?

What is that made up of?

[Silence]

What about Your very Existence?

What is that made up of?

So, Your Self is not changing in character. The Self has given to Itself the power to pretend as if It is something limited, something objective.

All of life has been a grasping. Our human condition has been that of grasping. That’s why I feel like the cat story that we take is very useful. It’s like you were born in a world without any mirrors. You were born and everybody started telling you that you are a cat. So, then as a cat, what are you supposed to do? You are supposed to walk on four feet and go to the next bowl of milk. And this bowl of milk has constantly changed. It has been education, it has been relationship, it has been money, experiences. And one day you got tired of this and you said ‘Is there any end to this grasping; running after the next bowl of milk? I have tried this. I have tried money, I have tried relationship, I have tried spirituality also. So many are tired spiritual seekers. [Chuckles] I was promised nirvana. I was promised amrit (nectar).’ [Chuckles] So, this promise was made; you were told that ‘Come to this ultimate bowl of milk called moksha or nirvana (freedom or liberation) and you will always be happy, you will have a super-human existence.’ So, then we go from Master to Master, from Satsang to Satsang, hoping as a cat to get something. And many times (because Maya is very potent also) many times it can feel like ‘Oh, this was it. I really got it. I am that super-cat now.’ [Laughter] ‘I was a regular cat; now I’m a special cat, I’m a liberated cat, I’m a free cat.’ Till you come to a Sage who is the only one who has a mirror. He says ‘If you are done with your cat business, are you happy to look at this mirror?’

I am making this point trivially but it’s a very important point. If you are done with your cat business, then it is very straight-forward. If you still have hope for this cat because you have carried this identity for so long and the real intent is to really make this cat a super- cat, then this play, this game, can go on for a long time.

So, I might say ‘spirituality is the end of selfishness.’ It can sound like a simple thing to say. But this selfishness is based on the false identity, the notion of separation, the notion of individuality, the notion of ego.

So, are you willing to see that you are home? …, for one moment, without being so concerned about this cat and this cat’s feelings and this cat’s thoughts? It never existed anyway. We have been taught to believe in its existence. Now, the mirror is here. How are you going to check? You cannot check this in a worldly way, you cannot check on it based on this coconut body, you cannot check on it based on some feeling. We cannot even check on it with some experience because many times we say ‘Oh, I have the experience of some stillness.’ How can you then check on it?

What is at the core of all of this?

What has been Here, Un-caused?

Even in the sleep state, what doesn’t go?

[Silence]

So, you don’t have to be a humble cat, you don’t have to be a special cat. [Smiles] Neither this nor that. This neutrality is very troublesome for the mind. It will say ‘Okay, at least tell me what I am supposed to do. And if you don’t tell me what I am supposed to do, at least tell me what I am supposed to not do. Give me some position at least.’ [Chuckles] This mind is nothing but a position machine. So, even now as these words are being spoken, this mind will take a position. It will say ‘Yeah, this is right; yeah.’ or ‘This doesn’t seem right. What am I doing here?’ [Chuckles] These are just positions. But they belong to who? That is the question. This mind will pose as the judge, as the sufferer, as the doer, as the desirer. All poses it takes on. But what is it that is beyond this?

Before you pick up the phone with the message of the neighbor (‘Help me.’ or ‘Come, come; let’s celebrate that I got it.’) …, what are you? What are you in your notion-less existence?

Show me what is organically Here. And tell me if that needs some ‘doing’ …, if that has something which is not done yet? What is missing in Your organic Presence? (I use the term ‘organic.’ Maybe it is corporate conditioning.) [Chuckles] …, in Your natural Presence?

So, it’s neither doing nor non-doing; neither finding nor not-finding. All of these things are safely thrown away because none of this applicable to You in Reality. These things are only applicable to the pretense of who you are. Now, the seller of doubt will come and say ‘But…, but …, but…’ [Chuckles] ‘This is true. You Are the Self …, but… (just, anything).’ We have heard all the possible doubts. In the last five years, we have heard all the doubts possible. (Well, we can’t even say that completely.) [Chuckles]

Now don’t take a step.

Don’t take a step. And don’t not take a step.

Don’t have any stance about anything.

You mouth can have a stance, your hands can have a stance, your feet can have a position. But inwardly be empty of this. Or more accurate is to say: ‘See the emptiness that is just Here.’

Yes, I know that some withdrawal symptoms will come. It seems like we are so used to taking a position, to making a stand. As we drop all opposites, we drop everything that could have an opposite; including dropping.

Meet this Being.

This is the most enlightened Being you will ever find,

Your own Divine Presence.

[Meditative Silence]

Another trick the mind can play is to tell you that ‘You are getting it wrong again and again. Ananta everyday comes and says ‘Be empty of positions’ and yet, again and again, you are taking a position.’ That is also a position. Forget about it. No position can last in This Moment. If you can see this, everything is so simple.

No position has survived This Moment.

What’s past is past.

You are Here.

God is Now.

[Reading from chat]: “There is a gentle, fragile prayer within and total chaos without. Guruji, what is happening?”

[Silence]

So, if there is a within and without, where are you? What are you contained in the ‘within’?

Are you where the prayer is?

[Silence]

You say ‘There is a fragile sense of prayer happening.’

[Questioner joins online and says]: Yes, there is such a sense of whenever I touch this space of prayer, it’s just the incredible. But it’s very brief. It is like immediately there is like a crashing of the mind. But it is like that’s all there is. When I touch it, that is all there is; nothing else. Nothing else is there. And nothing else matters. The whole world could shut down, but it wouldn’t matter.

A: Yes. It sounds actually beautiful to me so far. How is that chaos? [Smiles] You had a second part of the question which was something about chaos.

Q: Yes. But whenever this happens, there is such a crashing that comes from the mind. I wake up every morning and it feels like it takes me a while to come out to that awake space…, where the mind is crashing so hard that it feels like I am physically going to die. It kind of grabs the body and the right side of the body tightens up completely. It’s like really going through this space that I am physically going to die. Because it feels like the mind comes with so many images and so many thoughts that it’s like coming into hell. And the saving grace actually is listening to Satsang. But this…, yeah, yeah.

A: Satsang is a beautiful refuge.

Q: Yes.

A: It is a beautiful refuge. Because at some point or the other, all of us, we get tired of this mind and we need some refuge from it. It feels like we are incapable of dealing with it ourself, although we deeply recognize that it does not represent us. And yet it pushes and pulls all its tricks and tactics that seem too strong for ‘what we think we are’ to deal with. So, Satsang then becomes a beautiful refuge for us to come to…

Q: Yes, exactly. Thank you, Guruji.

A: …so that we are constantly reminded that there is some very good news that I have for you. Isn’t it?

Q: Yes, thank you so much, Guruji. [Smiling and tearful] Yeah, dispelling the darkness over time. Thank you. That is all I have to say. Yes.

A: Now, the good news is for when you are not in Satsang [Smiles] I know that it becomes difficult to see it when we are not in Satsang and it becomes easier to see when we are in Satsang. But the good news is always there. Then you will find that we are not being able to so easily make the distinction between ‘in Satsang’ and ‘out of Satsang’ …, although initially you will find there is so much support in Satsang. There is so much beautiful energy which is holding you also, so that you can feel that only God is Here. The suffering me, the limited me, is just not here.

So, it becomes simple and clear to see in Satsang. But what is being pointed to Satsang is also true even when this phenomenal play of Satsang is not there. The true Being, this one Being, is always the only One that Is. But it is good to come to Satsang because then as it becomes the old habit of the ‘me’ (the old habit of identifying with the limited one) then it takes a break every day, at least for sometime. [Smiles] Then you will find that, more and more, that will become more and more natural …, (as it is becoming for you).

And then what you are able to see is that even these body sensations, even this pain and seeming immobility of the body, when left notionless, when surrendered to the Master’s grace, you will find that they are not so debilitating as the mind wants to have us believe. It wants to have us believe that ‘This is going to be your death; this is just going to be your death’ or something like that. So, you can invite Bhagavan’s [Sri Ramana Maharshi’s] contemplation because when this idea came to him that ‘This is just going to be my death’ he said ‘Oh, okay. Let me just watch it then; how it happens, what comes.’

In that sort of a welcoming, You will see that You are That which is beyond death.

Life and death are nothing but a change of clothes for You.

[Reading from chat]: “I have seen that most of my suffering has come from my holding onto identities…”

I would go on so far as to say ‘all.’ [Smiles] I would go as far as to say all of the suffering comes from the identity.

[Reading from chat]: “…just as all the Gurus say. But without identity, I don’t know what I am to do in life. It seems that just to get rid of that state (not knowing what to do) I have unconsciously held onto various identities. So, it has already been Seen that the identities are bringing just suffering, sooner or later. But without identity, it seems it has brought some sense of losing any direction in life. What is the right course of action?”

This is a good question, my dear. So, I know it can feel a bit unsteady. And I know it is true that we have relied on the mind to provide us some sense of direction in the past. But it is hardly turned out that way anyway, whatever the mind has told us in the past. It has promised us a lot of things, that ‘It will become like this if you do this or if you go here, this is what you will find.’ Most of these have just been empty promises.

Now, it can feel a bit wobbly that I don’t know what I am going to do. Firstly, we must not feel that “If I have a thought about what I am going to do [Points to head] that leads to the action about what doing happens’. And I can go slowly on this because this seems to be a point which gets many of us. We believe that ‘Once I know mentally what I have to do, only then that doing can happen.’ But both thoughts and actions are just waves on the ocean of Consciousness; both are appearing and disappearing from the same Source which is Consciousness Itself.

Many times, it can happen that a thought comes…, (I take this example; I wonder whether you were here when I said this) …, many times we can say something, like ‘I have decided when I go to work today I am just going to tell my manager to ‘Get lost!’ [Chuckles] …, I’m going to say it to my boss and I am not going to …’ And we show up at work and we’re standing in front of the manager and we’re saying ‘Yes sir, what can I do for you today? What is the work?’ [Chuckles] So many times, we have decided various things, but what actually appears is different. Many times. Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] takes this example that he did not decide that he is going to quit but he just found that his mouth was saying ‘I quit.’

So, we have made this false connection. It is like the connection which the mind makes…, as it is said in the Yoga Vashishta that ‘The bird flies and lands on the branch of the coconut tree and coconut falls.’ We have presumed that because one thing happens before another, that that thing is the cause of the next thing. But many times, you will see that the actions are happening as independently as thoughts are happening.

Now, most of us in Satsang have come to See that these thoughts are just coming and going. You are not creating your thoughts in that way; in an individualistic way. But we have not yet come to see that the actions are happening in exactly the same way. Like your head is moving, your heart is beating, your hands could be moving in a conversation; all of these things happen. Now, I can tell you from my present experience that there is nobody who is saying these words. These words are just appearing out of this mouth (seemingly) and they are being heard here. [Chuckles] Nothing is being decided, nothing is being planned out; they are just arising. And the hearing of them is also happening in the same way for the apparent two of us.

So, this connection is a bit important to break, that ‘Only when I mentally know what I should be doing in my life can any doing happen.’ And this fear the mind will constantly sell it to you, saying ‘Oh, if you drop your identity, if you drop your thinking, if you drop your limited mind, your life is just going to become a mess’ or ‘If you don’t know what to do, you will become lost’ …, like Guruji says, no? He had this fear coming [Chuckles] that he will become this hunchback beggar on the streets of Brixton if he lets go of his mind. This was unfolding for him (even the greatest Sages have dealt with mind fear like this) that ‘You are going to become like Quasimodo, a hunchback, and you will be begging on the streets of Brixton. What are you doing with your life?’ These kinds of things.

But as you go through this, I am telling you that the fun of this movie is in the not knowing of the next scene. It is our idea of ‘What the next scene should be. What I should be doing next? What should happen next?’ which has taken the freshness out of it.

Now, you have to experiment with this a bit and have no precondition about what should happen. [Chuckles] Otherwise, we will have some more fun with this experiment. Like, there was this one lady  (I don’t remember her name right now) who said ‘I am just so scared of surrendering because I am so attached to my work as psychotherapist and I don’t want to let my patients down.’ And I told her this story about what Guruji says about ‘The one that is running this universe, running all these planets, all these forces, everything that is happening; the heart is beating, the breath is happening…, so, the One that is doing all of this, we feel like if we surrender to that One, we feel like he will make a mess of my life…, but you can safely surrender.’ What she said next day is that [Chuckles] ‘Ananta, I am very angry with you!’ She was half-joking, she was not really angry but she was like ‘I am really upset with you.’ I said ‘Why? What happened?’ She said ‘I have been a psychotherapist for sixteen years and I have never missed an appointment. But after I left it to God, for the first time I forgot about an appointment.’ [Chuckles]

So, sometimes in this play it can play out in this way, that if we surrender with one eye open (like ‘I’m surrendered to you Lord’) [Fold hands making a gesture of surrender] but we surrender with one eye open…, you know what I mean by one eye open? It’s like ‘I am surrendering to You completely but just make sure it works out the way I want it, okay?’ [Chuckles] So, if that is the perspective then it can seem to create even more fun and drama. Because this half-surrender; it can sound like I am giving a guarantee that if you just let go, then life will turn out exactly as how you are thinking that it should turn out. But that’s not what I am saying. I’m saying ‘Just let go and you will find that life turns out beautifully.’ But you might not say that moment to moment as it is unfolding. You will start to recognize that the beauty of it, the surrender, having no expectations, you will realize how beautifully it turns out. But if you are half-surrendering, where ‘I am surrendering to you but just make sure it goes the way I want it to’ then that button will get pushed also.

So, [Chuckles] my advice is to let go and See that. And have no expectation about how life should unfold. That would be a true surrender. But if you still feel that ‘Oh, I’m actually looking for the best way to get to where I want to be…, I want to use surrender as a tactic for that or I want to use doing, doership and planning as a tactic for that’ you will see that nobody is ever able to plan this; nobody is ever able to predict where they are going to get to be. You see? This movie is completely unpredictable.

So, suffering comes when we have an idea of how it should be and we feel that how it is unfolding is not that; then we suffer from it. That’s why it is beautiful to See that everything around us is showing that everything can unfold with beautiful Grace. It is only our expectations of ‘How it should be; what I should do’ that get in the way. Like Guruji talks about this tree example, that the tree is not deciding where it should grow its next branch, where to have flowers. It’s not deciding, making a decision like that. And yet, every tree is unique in its own beautiful way and has a beautiful pattern about it, has a beautiful symmetry. We can see that divine intelligence is unfolding it. In the same way our lives are like that.

[Reading from chat]: “… but without identity, it seems like it has brought some sense of losing my direction in life.”

Yes. Yes. [Chuckles] In a sense, this is good. I know it sounds bad but this is actually good. Because if you already know what the next scene in the movie has, then the movie has no fun. If you are waiting to watch Avengers and somebody comes and already tells you ‘This is the last scene of Avengers and this is what’s going to happen’ you will be like ‘Oh, I was just giving you some direction about the movie.’ You will say ‘No, that is not a direction; it is a spoiler.’

Yes. You will come to this place of not-knowing where you are going. You will come to this place of not-knowing what is happening and that you will start to love. I know it is scary for a while. It is scary for a while. As we lose our identity, it can feel like my life has become directionless. No, it has always followed the beautiful, divine direction. But ‘I don’t have a concept of it now. I don’t know mentally what the direction of my life is.’

So, I know that that sense of losing your direction can be there but again, I know what is sounding like bad news to you only sounds like good news to me. [Smiles] That is why Guruji has also made this reassurance that anybody who has come to the true recognition about themselves and lost all this false sense of doership, desire, duality…, nobody who has come to the Truth has gone on to regret it. Nobody has said ‘Oh, I am free now; I would rather not have this, I would rather get my sense of direction back.’ If you ask the Sage, all the Sages have said ‘I don’t know anything at all’ and they mean it about this knowing. [Points to head] They don’t know mentally. They don’t value these concepts of what things are and where things should go.

So, “What is the right course of action?” It seems like you are on the right course if you are losing identity, if you have some fear of losing direction in life, this is very much part of this natural flow that all of us have gone through; Guruji has gone through, and it has happened here also the same way.

And I remember that after meeting Guruji the first time, for many months it was like this. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was very happy but my family used to come and tell me ‘But you were doing so well in your work. Now what has happened? Have you become depressed?’ because they could see that the fire, the so-called fire of ambition, was not there. So, they started getting a bit concerned. So, I wrote an email to Guruji and said ‘Actually, I’m quite happy, but some concern is coming because my family seems to be very concerned about what is happening here.’ And he said that what is unfolding is a beautiful, natural process and it was the same way that it happened for him also; that the world cannot understand how it can be that we don’t know where we are going and we are still happy. How it can be that we don’t have this ambition and yet things happen to unfold so beautifully.

If you need some example of work happening in life and without having a direction of where I am going, then this life is also an example of that. [Chuckles] Like yesterday, all day I was at work and it seems to just unfold on its own. There is no aversion here, there is no position that work is contrary to This, or something like that. So, work can unfold, no work can unfold; whatever the Guru’s Grace has in store can unfold.

I know it has this feeling of fear, it can feel a bit wobbly at times that ‘Am I just wasting my life? Is this really true?’ Many times, for many of you who have been in Satsang for long time also, the mind can play this card. It can say ‘How do you know if all of this is not hogwash? Do you really know? Do you really know you are not just being brainwashed in Satsang?’ Then it plays this card: ‘What if you end up wasting your whole life not doing anything worthwhile because you believe this hogwash?’ It can play this card. But if you were to truly Look, you will find that the only times when you have been at peace, you have been content, the only times where our heart has known that we are in the right place, is the time that we have been in Satsang. So, the surrender becomes like this: ‘Even if this life has been a compete waste, let it be spent at my Master’s feet.’ This kind of openness can come.

I want to speak for a moment on ‘position-less-ness.’ There were some questions on the meaning of life. ‘What is the point of all of this? It is so meaningless. And I am not getting it any way.’ So, this is half-positionlessness, which means that ‘I’m still giving meaning to an idea of ‘me’ or this ‘I’ as some entity.’ This ‘I’ that I’m considering myself to be is still given a meaning but everything else around this body/mind I’m saying is not ‘me.’ Then that can become a sort of oppressive positionlessness. ‘What is the point of this life? Why am I even here?’ You know, this kind of thing. This is just misunderstood positionlessness or a half-positionlessness.

True positionlessness is to let go of the crutches of this ‘me’, the perspective of a ‘me’, the perspective of an individual entity. The ‘non-existent me’ has been given too much meaning.

And when we come to this positionlessness or meaninglessness from the perspective of not even having this position of the ‘me’…, then all this oppressiveness of the so-called philosophers is not there.

You know these tragic poets? Some of these tragic poets come to some very beautiful insights. They write these beautiful lines. But you can see that it’s half-positionlessness. They drop the meaning in the world, but the ‘me’ still continues to have meaning.

I was reading something very beautiful by Leo Tolstoy. This was much already he had written his classics and everything. And it seemed like he spent a long time after that in deep existential depression. I was reading his writing and I could see that it is just this simple trick which seems to be holding him back. [Smiles] It was like ‘There is no point because everything is going to die anyway. So why am I even living?’

So, everything else…, the pointlessness of perception has been seen and it has been applied to everything but the body/mind, which he is calling ‘me’ and ‘mine.’ If that is also seen through, then what is there to be? …, (in the sense that if you still consider yourself to be a body/mind and you keep hearing about positionlessness or meaninglessness, or ‘everything is going to death any way; all this world is coming and going’ …,  but you latch on very strongly to the body/mind idea, then you can feel like ‘I-body/mind am in this world which is constantly unsteady and going towards death and it is completely meaningless so, there is no point in me being this person anyway, this body anyway so, what is the point of living?’ These kinds of things. So, we have dropped the positionlessness or the meaninglessness of what our senses are bringing to us but we have still not dropped the idea that ‘I am a limited entity’ that ‘I am an object in this world.’

Now, look from the True perspective of the Seeing-ness itself.  What lamentation does that have? [Smiles] It has no lamentations because it is not saying that ‘I am caught in world. How do I sleep at night?’ and these kinds of things.

For the next few days I just will keep saying this: Don’t touch the ‘I’ that woke up this morning.

So, if I say ‘What woke up this morning?’ what would you say?

Q: I have no idea. [Laughter in the room]

A: In sleep state, the ‘I’ that has no idea was there? Like you have this feeling ‘I have no idea’ even when you were asleep?

Q: [No answer]

A: [Chuckles] It’s okay, don’t worry. Don’t worry about it.

Q: Something feels dense and there’s this experience that even if I’m not responding, Consciousness (or whatever it is) is evident.

A: Let me say something and see if you can relate to that. Some denseness is there; it could be emotion or any perception which seems like it’s very heavy. Yes? Now, it seems like what the mind tries to do is quickly bring this perspective to this point where you can feel that you ARE this completely overwhelmed-ness; that completely this denseness is fully containing you.

If that is not the case, then you will see that this denseness, no matter how dense it might seem, is contained in this room which has no walls.

Q: I feel like it’s watched; like it’s not taking everything. And yet, there’s still there’s so much aversion to it.

A: Yes, but can you validate this with your ‘Looking’ and tell me the size of this denseness with regards to the space that it is in?

Q: My attention is with the denseness and just doesn’t want it.

A: This is good. So, now attention is with the denseness and attention doesn’t want it. Is this true? …that it is the attention which is bringing the ‘not wanting’ into this picture?

Q:  There this feeling ‘I don’t want it.’

A: Yes, and this ‘I’ …, are you saying this ‘I’ is the attention itself which doesn’t want it?

Q: [Inaudible]

A: So, it’s quite simple, really. There’s a denseness and there’s a feeling of not wanting it. Now, you said that attention doesn’t want it and then you said that it’s more like there’s an ‘I’ who doesn’t want it. But is this ‘I’ inferred? Or can you see this ‘I’?

Q: Can’t see this ‘I’.

A: So, if I was to call it a presumption for a minute, would you be really upset? [Smiles] Because that which we do not see, and yet we claim the existence of, is like a presumption, no?

Q: It feels like the ‘I’ that is the ‘Existence-I’ …, the ‘I’ that Knows Its own Existence.

A: What do you mean ‘feels like’? Because something is making a connection between ‘not wanting’ and that which is the Creator of it Itself: That which is projecting life itself, which is projecting this universe. Then some inference is being made that That Itself doesn’t want it. You see? Now, in actuality, if you didn’t want it, it wouldn’t be here. Because not one speck of dust, not one speck of sand, or a blade of grass is here without the Will of this One.

And this is a worthy contemplation. Because if it is left unexplored and just believed that ‘I actually don’t want it; the I-that-Am, the Isness Itself, doesn’t want something and yet It Is…, then that can sound like a real battle. You see?

Q: There are times I see the absurdity of that.

A: And that’s very good because usually we rely on memory to trouble us more, but at least there are some memories where you can say ‘No, I have had that experience where I’ve Seen that this is not true.’ It is still possible to look at this and See what is really true.

Q: I feel like I’m not seeing what is really true.

A: But the Seeing is there. Or not?

Q: No. There is such dullness in the mind; it’s just not able to.

A: I know you get concerned about taking time on this and kind of thing but this is what I’m here for; when you say things like ‘It is just the dullness of the mind; there is no Seeing there.’ But what Sees the dullness of the mind? It is just that value has being given more to the content of what is being seen, rather than to the Seeing itself.

I know there are fifty different things to which I say ‘This is primarily what Satsang is’ [Chuckles] but right now, I want to say this is primarily what Satsang is; [Laughter] to divest all this meaning from what is seen and bring some focus back to what is Seeing it.

Because sometimes it can be dullness, sometimes it can be peace or joy, sometimes it’s anger, sometimes it’s frustration, sometimes there’s greed, there’s hunger; there’s all kinds of things. When we keep just involved in this, then it’s like a kaleidoscope; it is constantly moving, changing and multidimensional. All these; the five sheaths or seven sheaths of existence…, so many layers in which we are experiencing this world. All of this is constantly there. But if we spend all our time looking at the content of this world then it can feel like ‘I am part of the content.’

But if you really look and See:

What is Seeing?

What is on that side of the content?

As sublime or terrible it might be, what is on the Seeing side?

Who is the one that perceives?

That is the crux of the inquiry.

But with many of you, sometimes I notice that even when the inquiry is happening, you’re still saying ‘Okay, I’m doing the inquiry; this is what’s coming up or this is what’s not coming up, I’m not feeling free or I’m feeling very free.’

But the point of the inquiry is to find:

Who is Seeing all of this?

What is the witness of all of this?

What perceives all of this?

So, the mind can make even the inquiry into something about the content.

But it really is not about the content.

Q: Father, whenever you say ‘this non-existent me’ …, when I check, an anger arises, a resistance and it just says ‘You really are crazy’ and it only calms down when the belief or when the idea that ‘Okay, I exist but maybe I don’t exist as a person.’ You see what I am saying?

A: Yes. Where is the ‘me’ that exists?

Q: I can hear what you’re saying, but this thing is…

A: Yes. The ‘me’ that exists is which one?

Q: It’s the one which is perceiving all of this and seemingly deciding something…

A: Is there anything which is not ‘me’ then?

Q: Yeah, another body.

A: See, this is the thing. You see? [Smiles] How is it that we take some perception and say that is ‘me’ and take some other perception which is ‘not me’?

Q: How is it…?

A: Why make this distinction? What is the benefit of this? [Silence] What is the benefit of the ego? …, in the sense that ego is just a belief that ‘I am a separate individual. The belief in separation, the belief in individuality, is what is called the ego. But does it have any benefits?

Q: No.

Q1: What is the proof?

A: Your own Seeing is the proof. What you are Seeing, Right Now, is completely clear to You; that all these body sensations, all of this is just contained within You…, just like other sensations are. You are not able to stop YourSelf at just being this body. In actuality, all of this contained within You. It is all perceptions within you. Do you have the experience of just this body? No, you are also hearing these words; you are also seeing this body. It is just one centrality of one perspective which the mind uses and says that You must be contained in this. [Silence] What is the proof of this separate one?

Q1: I can hear what you say but …

A: But even otherwise, suppose you hadn’t heard what I said: what is the proof of the separate one? No doctor has found the separate one living inside the body. No surgeon has found it and said ‘Look, I found the person.’ Nobody can tell me who the doer is, who the sufferer is, who the experiencer is. The separate one is just never found.

There is no proof for this separation but all of this perception (and to See that I am untouched by this perception) is proof that You are beyond all that You perceive. So, everything that you are Seeing is pointing to Your Reality, actually; even the world of perceptions. Only the subtitles are all messed up. The movie is fine; it is just these subtitles from the mind. [Chuckles]

Suppose that the movie was a perfect movie, perfect! …, but there was no dialogue. And something (the trickster; all part of movie itself) is making all these subtitles ‘You are this one, this should happen to you, your life should be like this, the Master should be like this, your body should be like this, your bank account should be like this, your work should be like this.’ All this. Everything is going along perfectly but in the subtitles, this thing is saying ‘This is wrong, this can’t be happening to me, I will never get it…’ And the body is just sitting there; it is just sitting, it’s just fine [Chuckles] but the narration is all of this.

And the thing is that we weren’t even naturally reading those subtitles or bothered about them. We were taught ‘No, that is you. That itself is taking about you. They are talking about you.’ [Smiles]. Then, when you realize what You Are, when you See what You Are, that just means we look at the movie and say ‘None of these subtitles are applying to Me in Reality.’ Then, for a while, the subtitles seem feel like ‘Father, that subtitle, when it comes; everything else is fine but ‘this one!’

For Satsang, the usual suspects are the seeker one (‘I haven’t got it, when will I get it? I am not worthy yet’) something like that. Or maybe the most potent one in the normal human existence is the relationship. [Inaudible] Yet the body is fine, the world is fine, everything is sitting around exactly the way it is meant to be. And it happens even in Satsang. In the movie, this voice is saying something [Makes a gesture of speaking with hands] but many times we are not hearing this voice; we are hearing the subtitle track, which is saying ‘Don’t listen to this guy, he is not helping you at all.’ [Laughter] ‘You are being told that you are more magnificent than God Itself.’ …  ‘But the mind…’ [Makes a gesture of speculation] [Laughs] These kinds of things. This is the human conditioning.

You don’t actually know, in the first place, what Existence is. You feel like ‘There is the existence of all of this’ …, but what is ‘this’?

This ‘unlabeled life’ is also what is called ‘the notionless existence.’

In the notionless existence, all notions of what we thought we knew or what you think you know are meaningless. But it is not just that, because if it was just that, then it would be like a nihilistic meaning-less-ness, a pointless meaning-less-ness. The best part of the meaningless existence that, in this, the Truth which is unchanging Reality is completely apparent.

This is where the second visiting card which is ‘Till you know yourself, you will not come to the end of suffering’ becomes completely apparent. Because without a notion of myself, what I truly Am (this Knowingness with a capital ‘K’) this Awareness, this Absolute, It is completely Known. But not known in the worldly definition of knowing.

So, this is the invitation or provocation:

Meet YourSelf naked of concepts.

Meet YourSelf notionlessly.

And you don’t have to proclaim anything; but I can proclaim on Your behalf that this will be the meeting of the most enlightened Being that you will ever meet.

And I can go as far as to say that all the other enlightened Beings that we have met in form, in the world, have only been pointing to this One which is Your own Presence, Your own Being, which is ever-present.

Meet YourSelf Now, unmolested by anything that you know.

Face YourSelf as You Are.

[Silence]

Yesterday was Buddha Purnima. It was the Buddha who said ‘Freedom is the end of all grasping.’ The end of all grasping. No grasping at things, no grasping at concepts. [Smiles] Forget about all these concepts; past and future, time and space, here and there, me and other, this and that. All of these concepts that are trying to grab space. [Smiles] And you have a library of these bottles full of empty space; which is the label as them. All our conceptual frameworks are just this library full of these bottles, empty space, but only the labels. ‘Me, other.’ [Smile] Just ideas. Past, future. [Smiles]

It’s funny that ‘to know’ itself is a very strange concept. One day we were just sitting with Guruji [Sri Mooji] and (some of you know this story) the creative team came with two options for his visiting card. In Rishikesh, if he would meet someone when we were just walking (to stay in touch with them, to find out about Satsang) then Guruji has these nice visiting cards which he would give to some of them.

So, the creative team came with two options. (In the front, were the contact details; behind there was a quote.) In the two options, the first one said: ‘The truth cannot be known.’ The truth cannot be known. The second option said: ‘Until you know yourself, you will not come to the end of suffering.’

And for a while, we were just looking at the options and the fonts and what looks nice. Then it occurred to me that if, by chance, the same one gets both the cards, [Chuckling] one which says ‘The Truth cannot be known’ and the second says ‘Until you know yourself, you will not come to the end of suffering’ then this one is in big trouble. So, I said to Guruji, ‘You know this can be very confusing for someone.’ So, he said that we should put ‘worldly’ …, ‘The Truth cannot be known in a worldly way.’

What is this ‘worldly’?  Now, there are a lot of things we think we know. They could be things that we think we perceptually know, through our senses. But the other day, we were seeing this video about the Mucgerg Effect, that even though the sound that is coming from the computer is ‘ba ba ba’ you think you’re hearing ‘fa fa fa.’ And even when you know it, it doesn’t change it. So, you cannot rely on what you hear. Similar are many, many things: like mirages, optical illusions, the famous examples from Shankara of the snake and rope, man and pillar, the mother of pearl and silver. All these examples are there which tell you that also what you see, you cannot trust. So, this perceptual knowing can also be completely false.

The mental knowing, of course, the conceptual knowing, all of us know. We know many things in the past which we were completely wrong about and yet we hold onto many things which we think we know now.

You want to look at both of these together and drop it? Or one by one? [Chuckling] Okay, let’s go a little slow.

This visual stimulus is very, very compelling, in a way. But on top of this visual stimulus, we put a lot of concepts. A LOT of concepts. Because even our visual perceptions, we don’t leave them alone. We molest them with our ideas of them. What are the most common things which we superimpose on this? Let’s say ‘time and space.’ Something is being perceived. What tells you that there is distance, that there is space? It’s just conceptual.

And I’m including this body also; but just to illustrate the point, I could have something like a film on my eyes and everything could be on that film; where there is no distance, it’s just moving images. But the idea that there is distance is just a notion; that there is distance between this and that.

All of this. Also, the idea of duration or time, where does it come from?  We have visuals and we have certain other visuals and we make a link between them: ‘That happened before; this is happening now.’ So, even our perceptions; we mix them up with concepts about what they are.

Then, what are the other common ideas of knowing that we put on this appearance? We put this idea of causation; cause and effect. ‘This causes this.’ A set of perceptions that seem to appear and disappear; what makes the linkage between them? ‘Oh, I thought this and that’s why I did this’ or ‘This happened and that’s why that happened.’ And so many of our grievances and pride are because of this.

But one if the most fundamental things (concepts that we put on these perceptions) are the concepts of ‘me and other.’ It’s just conceptual. You’re looking at some perceptions and calling it ‘me.’ And you’re looking at some others and calling it ‘other.’ Nothing naturally forces this distinction.

And then, that much is also not enough for us. Then what happens is that there are some other perceptions that come and those we call ‘mine.’ So, not only is there a ‘me and other’ there is also a ‘me and mine.’ Not only is there a separate-self ‘me’ it also owns some other things which it calls ‘mine’ and it forms a special relationship with this ‘mine.’ And this is called attachment.

Now, to be attached is exactly like tying yourself to a crazy donkey and then expecting stability in your life. [Chuckles] That’s the nature of attachment; tying yourself to a drunk donkey and saying [Chuckles] ‘My life should be stable now.’ Why am I saying this? Because everything in this perceptual realm is changing. Everything in this realm of appearances is constantly changing. So, that which you call ‘mine’ now will not be the same one minute later. Everything is constantly changing. And the worst part is that even if that thing is not changing, in your mind, ideas about them change. ‘This is what I really liked about you. We are so different; that’s why we’re the perfect couple because we’re so complementary; opposites.’ After a little time, it’s ‘Why can’t you change yourself a little bit? If you were a little bit more like me, we would get along better.’ You see?

Then, this ‘mine’ idea is also so much trouble. And it happens to all of us. When I first moved into this house, it was the first time we had a small garden outside. And then, because for the first time in our life we had a garden, I planted some seeds just to see how it turns out. So then, what started happening, I noticed that I would wake up first thing in the morning and I would go to the garden. I would not see anything else; it was like the rest of the garden had vanished. First it was my seeds. ‘What happened to my seeds?’ This is the thing with ‘mine.’ This is the nature of attachment. The rest of plants were no longer plants, it was just my seeds which were important. This is the thing with ‘me and mine’ …, attachment. So, we take some things which are just appearances, which are constantly changing, and we say ‘mine.’

There are also ideas about some things which should not come. ‘This should never be mine; this should never be my experience.’ We decide mentally that ‘This should not come.’ So, this is the opposite of desire, which is aversion; which is also a desire itself. ‘I desire that this should never come into the content of my attention, into the content of my perception.’ It’s all fake because anything can come. Nobody has ever been able to control the content of their experience, as hard as they might have tried. Nobody has been able to make the ‘me’ eternal, the ‘mine’ eternal and nobody has been able to say ‘I’ve decided that this never going to be experienced here and I can bet my life on it.’ Nothing like that is possible. Anything can come in this life. It is completely unpredictable.

So, this realm of perception also, as unreliable as it might be, we have made a lot if ideas about it. We think that we know a lot about this world but actually we don’t know anything at all. And this is the best news! Because it has been this kind of knowing which is the invitation to suffering.

So, when Guruji is saying ‘The Truth cannot be known’ the invitation is to drop this sort of conceptual knowing.

[Responding to a chat message] I am going to come to that which is the capital ‘K’ Knowing, but even this ‘I know I exist’ many times it can feel like ‘I KNOW I exist’ but we don’t know. We don’t know [Points to his head] from here. There is another deeper Knowing which is unchanging Knowingness; the unchanging Knowingness Itself which is aware of Existence. But for It, there is no use of the label ‘Existence.’ There is no use of the labels of ‘Consciousness, Beingness’ (any of that). So, why it is important to make that point is because many times it is the pointer [Smiles] which is confused to be the Reality. So, we can safely drop even this, that ‘I know that I exist’ because that Knowingness doesn’t need the concept ‘I know I exist.’ [Points to the chat participant. Smiles] I know, you’re saying the same thing.

Many years ago [Chuckles] I was sitting in the Chennai airport and I had a flight to come back to Bangalore (maybe 12-13 years ago). I was sitting in this airport and usually I like to read a lot. This time strangely I didn’t have a book. So, I went to airport book shop and saw this small book. It was called ‘Freedom from the Known.’ I said ‘This is nice’ as I read pretty fast and I thought I will finish it on in the flight. ‘Freedom from the Known’ is by Krishnamurthi. I said ‘This will be light, easy read to finish on the airplane and be done with it.’ So, I got this book and I opened it and … [Shakes his head suggesting he didn’t understood anything at all] It was an expensive one, a thin one and it was a lot of money for even those days (six hundred rupees which is a lot of money even today, but then especially). [Chuckles] I opened this book and started reading it (before security itself) I was just reading and I was like ‘What is this stuff?’ The title should have told me already [Laughs] ‘Freedom from the Known.’ If I had contemplated for a minute, I would have maybe not bought that book.

But the point is that this ‘Freedom from the Known’ is a very important aspect of the Satsang, if not the main aspect.

And I was saying the other day that it seems easier to drop everything that you have been wrong about (‘Oh, I have been so wrong about this, I surrender all of this to you; please make sure I don’t make these mistakes again. I have been so wrong about this.’) but hardly anyone comes to Satsang and says ‘Father, I feel like I am so right about this thing. Please, can I surrender this to you?’

We hold onto this righteousness as if we know something. We actually don’t. Yesterday, unfortunately, we could not have the broadcast as there was no electricity here. It was hailing, (some of you saw) so we could not have the broadcast. Yesterday, I came to Satsang and disagreed with everything that anyone said [Chuckles] even to the extent of contradicting myself from a moment ago. But that didn’t matter. The point is that anything that we can hold onto can be shaken up…, [Shakes right hand] even the highest spiritual concepts. I was saying ‘Forget about Awareness.’ [Smiles] ‘It’s a made-up thing, it’s just a concept; forget about it.’ And there were some who said ‘But I have seen this. It’s my own insight’ We can say it like that. But what is being held onto and the fear of dropping it has nothing to do with your own insight. It is the crutches you have now.

Someone was saying ‘It’s really helping, Father. It’s has been really helping me to drop. Just when sticky thoughts come, I take the position of dropping them and I feel like there is so much spaciousness. So, what are you saying now?’

I was saying ‘Forget about even this.’

She was like, ‘What?’ [Chuckles] ‘But this is what I have learned in Satsang all this time and I feel like finally I am getting somewhere, out of this stickiness into spaciousness, and now you are saying forget about it’?

And I was saying that ‘At the root of all of this also, which we might end up reinforcing, is the notion of the separate self who is now getting somewhere, who is now doing something which helps him/her.’

So, the mind is actually nothing but an invitation to know something, an invitation to be right about something.

And nothing needs to be done about it. Because if time and space itself are just concepts and they do not apply to You …, all of this ‘me’ and ‘mine’ and cause and effect; there are many more actually. True and false is one of our favorites, especially because we come to Satsang. [Raises both hands to show strong position] ‘I’m FOR Truth! I will fight for the Truth till the very end!’ [Laughs] And then, how do you have Advaita arguments? ‘I am coming from Truth. You are coming from false. I’m not seeing any duality; you are!’ [Laughter]. Just hear these words when arguments are happening: ‘I’m not seeing the duality; you are!’ [Laughter]

There is not one thing we know which is True.

Q: I keep looking for…, I guess I am just looking for where this looking is happening from.

A: Yes, yes, okay.

Q: Okay? And I can’t find anything. Nothing to be found. No shape, no size; nothing, nothing.

A: No shape, no size, no color, no form of any sort.

Q: Even position; I am not sure if there is a position also. Because even if the mind says ‘here’ this is just a mind thing of saying….

A: Yeah. Not here, nor there.

Q: It’s very clear I exist. About where I exist, how I exist…, I can’t say anything.

[Silence]

So, you talked about ‘The wow moment’ or whatever; the short one.

[Silence]

So, I know I’m looking at everything.

A: Yes.

Q: But I just don’t know ‘as what’ I am looking. And I think that creates some idea of ‘me’ too…, that somewhere the mind is trying to say ‘Where, where, where, where?’

A: Yes, but this is fine because in this way the mind can exhaust itself. If these are the questions that it is latching on to now, this is like what I was saying that ‘The ant has invited the elephant to the party.’

‘Where am I looking from?’ The one that feels that it will get something from this question will not survive this question.

[Reading from chat]: “Dear Ananta, when Guruji [Sri Mooji] says to ‘Live like you have no rights’ is he referring to this ‘right’ you are taking about now?”

A: Well, it is very closely interconnected because we feel like we are right about which rights we have. [Smiles] We feel like ‘This definitely I am entitled to.’ There was one who came to Satsang with me. She was with me here for a year and every day she would take at least 15-20 minutes of discussion time. At the end she said ‘But I have given you so much time.’ [Chuckles]

‘What? I have given you so much time?’  [Chuckles] It was the strangest thing I have ever heard in Satsang. [Chuckles] So, it can feel like we can use all of these things. It took me by surprise…, but usually it is more that some gratitude can be expressing by saying ’Thank you for giving me so much time.’ Here it is ‘But I have given you so much of my life; so much time.’ It can feel like ‘Because I have made this investment, I have these rights, therefore, it should be like this or like that.’ So, this idea of entitlement, the idea of having some rights depends on this notion that ‘I am right about something’.

But the notion of being right also applies to the opposite. Now, this we hear a bit carefully because many times we can get into a very strong position that ‘I’m just like…, [Contracted body posture and confused facial expression] oh, I am just stuck.’ But that can also become a strong position. We are not even right about that.

And no ‘no rights.’ Sometimes, the Master makes statements so that we get shaken out of our positions into neutrality. Those statements are not meant to bring us to the opposite end, which is also a position. It is this neutrality that the mind struggles with. So, if Guruji [Sri Mooji] were to say ‘You have neither rights nor no rights’ many would say ‘What is he saying?’ [Smiles] But because a majority could be attracted to the position of being entitled in some way because of some reason or the other, it is important to say ‘You have no rights. Live as if you have no rights.’ And that shakes up the position of this entitled seeker and we come to a neutrality.

So, this attraction to being right means that ‘I know something conceptually to be true.’ But no concept has ever captured the Truth.

And that is why what I am saying is very confusing because I am not advising a position either way. I am saying: Forget about all positions. In your original state, there is no facade to be taken; no pretense, no mask to wear.

Q: Right now, I’m feeling everything happens by itself; choicelessly, effortlessly.

A: Isn’t there someone who could be making the choice but is not making the choice? Is it something like that?

Q: I don’t follow.

A: Okay, slowly, slowly. We say choicelessly. Whose choice would it be or not?

Q: Nobody to choose.

A: Nobody to choose. So, therefore, choice is not applicable.

So, Right Now, it is this way. And Right Now? And Right Now? [Chuckles]

Q: No struggle.

A: No struggle. [Silence] And Now?

Q: Being is just Being effortlessly.

A: Change that.

Q: Can’t change.

A: Then what’s all this about? [Laughs] Very good.

Q2: Relax.

A: Do you need to relax?

Q2: Nobody needs to relax. Just relax.

A: Because when we say ‘relax’ in that also there can be a position that ‘I need to relax.’ But before you can even relax, you are relaxed. No? Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] said ‘One of the trickiest instruction is to say ‘Be natural’ because the minute you say you have to be natural then the naturalness goes. [Chuckles] ‘How to be natural? Shall I be natural this way?’ [Moving his body about] So, better is to forget about it.

Q2: Everything is a lie.

A: Everything is a lie, yes. Forget about it and forget about ‘forget about it.’

It sounds like nothing special for the mind because the seeker wants to have a ‘wow’ end to this spiritual journey, like some ‘super wow’ like a ball of orange lights (or something) end to this spiritual journey. So, any ideas, just forget about it! ‘No, I’ve been at this for a long time, what do you mean forget about it!?’ [Laughs] ‘What have I got?’

But in your forgetting about it is the Divine ‘getting.’ In the letting go of the false, You See that the Lord has always been Here (whether you call it Being, Consciousness, Buddha nature, Self).

[Silence]

‘But I can truly, truly to confirm that I’m at the end of it until I get into this laughter?’ sort of thing. You can have this sense. Because when we see it happening in Satsang, everybody says ‘This is the awakening experience!’ But many have had those laughter things. Where are they now? It doesn’t have to be anything at all. Whatever by-products are there, are there.

What are you unwilling to forget? The last few days we’ve been pressing some buttons because I’ve been getting some messages about this one. I was saying that it’s very natural now for us to say ‘Yes, yes, this is what has troubled me, so please, I want to surrender it to you. This attachment has caused so much suffering, I want to surrender it to you. All these judgments, I want to surrender to you.’ But you know, actually what we’ve been hiding is that which we feel we have been most right about. What we’ve been most right about; that is not surrendered so easily. It feels like ‘That is what is propping us up. That’s what makes us who we are.’

Forget about it. You’ve not been right about anything or wrong about anything. There is no right or wrong. Because right or wrong would mean that this Truth also has the opposite which is false. (I wonder if it makes sense when I say it like this.) There’s a worldly true and false. There’s a worldly interpretation of what is true and what is false but the Truth that You are finding about YourSelf doesn’t have an opposite. It never has the false; the falsity is not possible.

Therefore, the worldly concepts are to prop up your worldly image, your worldly notion of who you are. Now we don’t need that anymore. So, forget about right and wrong. And this pushes some buttons, because what we’re right about we’ve been desperately holding onto; tightly. Some of you have been having some very good Satsang with this contemplation, with this question: ‘What righteousness am I not willing to give up?’

How can you be right and surrendered at the same time?

[Silence]

You cannot. Surrender means all judgments, all conclusions, everything is let go of. It is the simplest thing, in a way. But if we want to hold onto some idea, anything in any end of the spectrum, (right or wrong, pride or guilt, any of this stuff) then we’re like those people in Guruji’s joke, hanging on the branch, and the instruction is coming ‘Let go!’ Instead of letting go: ‘But I’m right! I can make this work through my righteousness.’ It doesn’t happen. Eventually, you have to let go. It just doesn’t work. Any strategy for this ‘me’ just doesn’t work.

There are some strategies which are very beautiful, in a way. You can say ‘I’m going to inquire into myself.’ Many times, we don’t realize that we have this idea of being a tiny ant and with the inquiry, we’re inviting the elephant in the room. [Chuckles] So, it can feel like ‘Oh, if I inquire then the ant will have a happy life’ or ‘If I surrender, the ant will have a happy life.’ But actually, you have just invited the elephant and it’s going to trample your false idea about yourself. And when the trampling is happening, you’re like ‘But this is not what I asked for. I was told that I would have a happy ant life!’

This is not true. All limitedness is getting squeezed out of you. And these ant thoughts will keep coming back and saying ‘Run, run. You’ve made a mistake, run.’ So, the impulse to run from Satsang is like that. ‘Run. You can make it yourself; run.’ They run to the beach in Gokarna and you get a call. ‘Is this Ananta?’ [Smiles]

[Silence]

Which ideas are we unwilling to let get trampled upon? All these ideas are your doorway to misery. It may feel like they are prized possessions but they are just the doorway to misery.

Nothing is ever how you think it is; nothing. Because this measly thought cannot meet Your magnificence.

[Silence]

And don’t worry if for a bit things feel confusing. It might feel like you’ve lost some control. ‘I don’t know what’s happening.’ Like she [someone in the sangha] was saying yesterday ‘I don’t what’s happening, where I’m going. These feet are moving this way, that way.’ I was telling her some reassuring stories that many times, at least in the beginning, my hands would be like this [Namaste] and I would not know whether I’m starting Satsang or finishing it. I would have to look at Anandi or somebody and ask ‘So, what are we doing now?’ [Laughing] All this is just fun by-products of Divine forgetting…, but nothing will get truly messed up. Nothing gets messed up for the Self.

All is the Self.

Q: Father, I just felt to come up. Not sure if there is a question.

A: What is still left to be done?

[Silence]

If time was to stop, would you be disappointed? ‘Oh, there is so much left and time has stopped.’ [Chuckles] So, actually, time has stopped for You in Reality. You are not subject to time.

Then does something force you to attach YourSelf to that which is subject to time? We can say it’s kind of a force of habit (in a way). That’s the only thing, isn’t it? Once you see that You are this unchanging One, then this is the end of time. Because time applies only to change. Now, what is your truest reference point? That which is changing? Or That which is not changing?

[Silence]

What do I mean by ‘truest reference point’? Some Sage said ‘I am none of this and I am all of this, but in unequal measure because I am always none of this and only all of this only when I dance.’ So, when your Existence comes up (when You Are ‘I Am’) then all of this dance is there. Before that, any trouble?

Q: When I am in deep sleep, there is no trouble.

A: Then, automatically upon waking, is there trouble?

Q: No.

A: So, what are the prerequisites that are needed for there to be trouble?

Q: Being has to be there. Then, it could be memory comes up or something comes up or some appearance.

A: So, let’s do one thing. Let’s presume you just woke up from sleep; Being just came. Now, tell me how trouble can start.

Q: Belief in some appearance. That’s the only way I can pick up trouble.

A: Now, he beauty of belief (or thankfully, we can say) the belief cannot operate on most appearances. It only operates on one particular appearance. On a perception (just in the perception itself) there is nothing to believe or not believe. This is an important point because it can feel like ‘I’m believing this realm of appearances.’ But just in the appearance itself, without interpretation, there is nothing to believe. So, you can only believe this voice which is the voice of concepts, voice of interpretation, voice of judgment. So, if left unjudged (this appearance, if left unjudged) can you have any trouble?

Q: No.

A: So, an unjudged life is a beautiful life. But the life full of judgment is like a living hell. But the good news is that you don’t even have to have a process to be rid of judgment because Right Now, You are like this. So, doubt is a judgment, proclamation is a judgment, guilt is a judgment, resentment is a judgment, regret is a judgment; all these are just judgments. They are not needed for you Existence, are they? So, without a judgment, is there somewhere to go?

Q: So, I will tell you how the mechanics kind of works here, Father. I think the confusion becomes about the ‘I’. There is such a habit to attach the ‘I’ to the appearance. It is so automatic, Father.

A: If you buy that then we are in trouble already. Let’s look at the notion of ‘automatic.’ So, now automatically attach something to the ‘I.’

Q: But it’s not that automatic. [Laughter]

A: It’s not that automatic as the mind would like us to believe. It is like saying then that Consciousness itself has been held captive by the mind therefore, it is now stuck and automatically…

Then either you are something other than Consciousness. Or Consciousness has now become hostage to its own child called the mind. Both are not possible. You are only this Existence, this Being, this Consciousness. Now, really check whether it is automatic or as automatic as we think it is.

[Silence]

Q: [Inaudible]

A: Yes, in fact when you switch the perspective and say ‘Okay, I’m going to really check on how this belief is automatically picked up’ you see that it seems impossible to pick it up.

At best, what we can call it is a deeply ingrained habit, like an addiction or something like this. But we don’t even have to go so far because we are in Satsang. [Chuckles] We are in the ‘de-addiction center’ so all these addictions which seem so real also are being dealt with. So, before you take that first step of presuming that ‘Oh, it’s automatic and I get caught up in the ‘I’ and then I start seeking’ you will find that before that step, there is space; on the sense it is not original to you. If it was automatic truly, truly automatic then it would be Your original nature but it is not.

[Silence]

Who are you Now?

Q: The truest thing I can say right now is ‘I am Aware of everything that is showing up.’

A: ‘I am Aware of everything that is showing up.’ The ‘I’ that is Aware is which one? Because already you say it is the truest thing You can say; so already there must be some insight about this ‘I.’

Q: Yes this ‘I’ is … [Silence] I can’t say anything about this ‘I.’

A: But you did say that ‘I am Aware.’

Q: Yes …, other than the fact that it’s before all perception.

A: Before all perception. Okay, can we also say that this ‘I’ can never get fully caught up in this perception?

Q: Yes. Never gets caught up.

A: Then, which one does? Or does anyone? The one that does get caught up, is it this one?

Q: No.

A: And this is Your unchanging Reality. So then, all that is perceived, all that is changing, does it affect the Unchanging?

Q: Not at all.

A: So, is there freedom or bondage for this ‘I’?

Q: It knows freedom, or the concept of freedom and bondage, but doesn’t have that concept of Freedom.

A: Can it apply to Itself?

[Silence]

Q: No, can’t apply either freedom or bondage to Itself.

A: Then, if this is You, if this One is You, then is there another one of You?

Q: There is a pretense at times which gets somehow believed in and that’s the cause of suffering. But there is no other Me.

A: Even if the pretense is picked up, does something happen to You in Reality?

Q: No.

[Silence]

A: Now, can you lose This One? This real One? And can the pretense ever become real? [Silence] Why do we call it the pretense?

Q: Because I believe myself…, or there is a belief (I can’t say I believe) there is a belief that something is me.

A: What is a belief?

Q: What is a belief? So, the belief is…, I guess that the core belief…

A: But what does it mean: ‘belief’?

Q: To take it as mine (in a way). To say that it affects me.

A: What is this ‘to take it as mine’?

Q: Any appearance…, to have a meaning.

A: Yes. But the appearance itself is not selling its meaning. The appearance by itself is not even creating duality. So, the meaning comes from what?

Q: So, the meaning comes when …, it only seems to come when I assume the body position; that this is ‘me,’ this is ‘my body.’ I give myself a boundary.

A: But before assuming the body position; even to assume a body position is to give meaning or pretense. You see?

Q: Yes.

A: So, how do you come into this body position? Is it purely on basis of perception itself that makes you pick up the pretense of body?

Q: I think…, (I’ve been looking at this quite a bit). A few things. Any time I check, I’m not the body (when I check). But through habit, whether it’s a sensation (it can be pain, can be anything) and also this point of view; looking from the head. That’s something I’ve been looking at a lot. So, even I have been looking at closing my eyes, opening my eyes, closing my eyes, and it creates this illusion that I’m in the body; even though it’s so clear that with the sensations and everything that is happening: the body has to be in me, I can’t be in the body. But somehow this whole point of view does create a confusion or a habit.

A: Okay, just stay with this point of view (if you want to, you can move your head around) and see whether automatically there becomes a ‘you’ which is contained in this body.

Q: No.

A: So, not even with this visual perspective is there an individual sense of ‘you’ yet that is contained in the body.

Q: No.

A: It is not our perception, it is not these appearances, it is not the centrality of any perceiving. It seems to have a perspective it, it seems to come from here; [Points from eyes outward] not even that.

So, when you say ‘I have been looking’ …, who is this one?

Q: When I say ‘I have been looking’ it’s the false one.

A: Can the false one look?

Q: No, the false one cannot look, but when I speak about it or when I see that ‘Oh, I’ve been looking’ that’s the mind that’s playing.

A: It is the sense of individuality, which is again taking on this idea that it is the one that is perceiving.

Q: Yes.

A: But that is inherent only in the statement about it; not in the looking itself.

Can you not look? [Chuckles]

Q: No. Even in the deep sleep, I am looking.

A: Even when there is no perception, there is this Pure Witnessing.

Q: And that which was looking…, also this morning I was thinking ‘I am fully there in deep sleep.’ You know? ‘I just think I am not there. But I’m fully there in deep sleep.’ And now, the only thing that has changed is this Being for which all this has come. So, I must be the same that I was there in deep sleep witnessing all of this.

A: Now, this ‘must be’ can be a useful inference. But is it true when you check?

Q: Can you ask again?

A: Yes. You say ‘I am fully there in deep sleep and there is nothing missing. All of this comes when Being is here. In the play of my Existence, all of this comes. Therefore, I must be that same one still that was fully there.’ This ‘must be’ is an inference. So, like we were saying yesterday, ‘Use your inferences as possibilities for your insights.’

Can you check on the one that is Aware even of Your Existence?

Q: Yeah. That One is automatically Aware.

A: Can you step away from that One?

Q: Can’t step away from the looking.

A: Now, that One doesn’t want anything. Then? [Chuckles] What about this one?

Q: This one is trying to understand that One. [Laughter]

A: But this one is just the lawyer for the body/mind; just a representative of so-called limited entity. But You are not it. Neither are You being represented by it.

So, why any concern for what it wants? If I say to you ‘There is nobody sitting on the couch outside. Can you please go and give that nobody some water?’ Will you call me crazy or not?

(You might not…, because it’s me, you might not [Chuckles] but anybody else you would.)

So, this has been our lives. We have been catering to this nobody, the non-existent one. The one that is trying to understand the Self can never understand anything because it doesn’t exist.

Now, what all has this one wanted?

Q: Which one?

A: Okay, now let’s make it easier. What has the True One ever wanted?

Q: Nothing.

A: Nothing, you see? So, all this desire is whose?

Q: Of this.

A: This thirsty nobody. [Chuckles] Now, this thirsty nobody keeps sending you these emails (or you can say WhatsApp messages): ‘But what about when I am outside of Satsang?’ Who is it representing?

Q: The same thirsty nobody.

A: ‘What about my relationships?’

Q: The same one.

A: The same nobody. [Chuckles]

Q: I guess there is such an addiction to pick it up…

A: No. I used that word but now forget it. You don’t have an addiction. You have a Master.

Q: [Laughs] Okay.

A: Because sometimes in reinforcing that I have an affliction it can seem like I do. It’s all make- believe anyway. So, forget addiction.

Q: So, let’s see, Father. I don’t know what it is, I can’t even name it but there are some sensations and …

A: Let’s just say there are perceptions; that includes every appearance. And?

Q: I am not this perception. That is very clear. Almost in any situation, it’s very clear; except picking up still can happen but I am never those perceptions. But there is a thought that says ‘Why does this perception here not go? I don’t want this perception.’  And that causes almost all the suffering is that ‘Why there is this perception here? Why doesn’t it go?’

A: ‘Why is this perception here?’ means ‘I should not be facing this.’

Q: Yes, exactly.

A: So, the ‘I’ that should not be facing this one is which one?

Q: Is the false one.

A: Why questions are usually coming from a sense of self-righteousness about what the ‘What Is’ should be. ‘Oh, why is the world like that? Why is my body like this? Why are my relationships like this? Why is my money like this?’ It is actually saying ‘Why do I have to suffer?’ … ‘Why is the ‘What Is’ this way and I am not content? But all of this is the voice of the non-existent nobody.

Q: Yes.

A: That’s why you have now this master key to any ‘why?’ Why anything? It’s the Master’s Grace; Guru Kripa Kevalam.

‘Who?’ is the more important question.

[Silence]

One trick that the mind plays (I see that also often in Sangha members) is that ‘First let’s solve this for the pretend one, then I will talk about the Real One.’ This pretend one is a never-ending treadmill. You feel like you are running to solve something for this ‘me.’ Nothing is ever solved for this ‘me.’ Why? Because it doesn’t exist. It’s voice itself is the voice of the false. So, nothing has to be resolved for this one because this one doesn’t exist.

The mind will also tell you ‘But that gets in the way then. Until I solve it, that gets in the way.’ All nonsense! Because nothing can get in the way of All There Is. This is still the voice of a ‘me’ who is trying to get to something but the ‘me’ itself is non-existent.

Q: This is the ‘me’ asking all these questions also. If I really look at it, it’s just a very selfish desire to ask these questions.

A: Because what does it want?

Q: It just wants peace! Or I don’t know what it wants.

A: But peace is There, before wanting. [Chuckles]

Q: Exactly.

[Silence]

A: The perfume of Your natural notionless Existence IS this peace. So, it is giving you this false promise that once you have resolved it, then there will be peace…, which is just a false promise to distract You from the peace that is already there.

There is nowhere to get to. There is nothing to become.

[Reading from chat]: Very beautifully, he says “I want to expose that I feel very attached to a prediction a psychic made about a  twin flame. I find I don’t want to let go of it. I guess that also means I won’t let the concept of separation or limitation go. I leave them at your feet.”

It is very good, very good, because you are beyond all this now; the idea of something else, that some twin has to come to complete me, that two lights have to make that one light. All of this was okay at some point. But you are now discovering that light which is beyond any of this separation, duality. [Silence] You are beyond this universe.

If something can come, that also means that it will go. Forget about that which can come and go. Tell about this One that is here timelessly. Who is this One? Does this One want something? Is this One doing something? Does this One have another one? Does it have any duality? (The One that You are, not the one that you think you are.)

Nobody can ever solve anything for the non-existent one. What can we give to the non-existent one? [Smiles] Can you give a glass of water to the non-existent one sitting next to you? No.

This is the game; God pretending to be a person pretending to look for God. Can it become ‘game over’ before the first step is taken, before the pretense of ‘person’ and then bringing that ‘person’ to God? That step can be taken only Now. Right Now, You are prior to that step. Right Now, You are the ancient One, the timeless One. Millions of these bodies have come and gone; for whom?

It is like God has been playing this video game and now he has put it on for the millionth time. ‘I will find God within the game. I will make it happen now.’ One million and one, one million and two. How many times does this play happen? God already is God but hoping to find God within the game. [Smiles] You cannot find God here. Who has found God? What about that One which is not here …, that is always Here and yet, not here in time and space.

Now, whether you like it or not, You are that One. [Smiles] As much as you want to pretend, as much as you want to say that ‘I am an object’ You can’t become one. You can keep reminding yourself with these thoughts every moment how you are a limited entity but it can never be Your Reality and You know it also.

You have failed as a person because you can always only be God. [Smiles] You have failed at dividing YourSelf.  You have failed at creating any real limitation. It is a beautiful failure because You See only God, You See only One. [Silence]

All that I am actually saying is don’t make anything a ‘thing.’ Nothing is a ‘thing.’ You have power with your belief to pretend as if it is a ‘thing.’ That is the only thing that causes suffering.

I was saying yesterday especially throw out the things which you feel like that you are most right about. This is fire ceremony. This is the fire ceremony.

It can feel like ‘I want to throw out all these things which I have been wrong about. This has not been right. I am going to throw all this out.’ But who is going to throw out all that they feel they are really right about?

Right or wrong means that there is something outside my Master’s grace. Wrong means ‘should not be.’ So, then there is something outside the scope of my Master’s grace. But this cannot be true. Therefore, even the concept of ‘right’ is not applicable. The true right, the true truth, is without opposites.

Is there something that you feel you are so right about that it is worth keeping? And the condition is that it must be something that if you don’t keep it then it goes away; you feel that you are so right about it that you have to keep it, otherwise it will go away. This idea ‘I’m right, I’m right.’ About what? In the same way ‘I’m wrong, I’m wrong.’ About what? You don’t know anything that is true.

I’m shining the light of Satsang on these aspects which I have seen get held onto after many, many, many satsangs also. We keep holding on. We keep saying ‘Notionless existence, empty of concepts.’ But we are in these things; cause and effect, time and space, right and wrong. We still keep hiding in our favorite concepts. We refuse to meet the nakedness of this moment. You always put on your best clothes which are your favorite concepts.

It is important to forget one last set of concepts because I know this is what the mind will say. It will say ‘So, if I forget everything, will I then be free?’ So, forget about the concepts of freedom and bondage. The seeker identity will start to not like this. ‘All that you wanted for so long is freedom! All I really want is freedom!’ This makes which ‘I’ out of you? The one that wants freedom, is this God’s voice?

No chains can ever bind You. Therefore, what freedom can you want? From what? All you have is thoughts of chains; you have just ideas of bondage. That’s all. Nothing binds You in Reality. And remember that you forgot about time and space, okay? Because I know you will say ‘How can I make this last forever?’ Or ‘It’s okay in Satsang but what about outside?’ Throw away all this.

Empty of these concepts, empty of these notions, this One is Here. This One …, who is beyond words, beyond judgment, beyond interpretation; pristine beyond pristine, beloved beyond beloved. What is Here Now? In this uncluttered, uninterpreted, unjudged moment, who sits Here? The timeless One is Here. The deathless One is Here. Your beloved has always been You (because there are no two).

As we come to Satsang every day, we come to forget something that we might feel that we know. Unlike other classroom situations [Chuckles] where you come to learn some things which are new, Satsang is actually (an important aspect of Satsang is) a big forgetting. Forget about it. Everything that you know mentally, conceptually, intellectually, can safely be forgotten. Because your Existence is unreliant on any of this. Like in this very instant, if I put you on the spot right now, you are a blank slate and yet you Exist. And in Existence, all that normally has to function continues to function. So, all of our conceptual knowing has just been an aid to the ego, the belief system of the separation; the belief in individuality. We’ve related through this [points to head] that we think we know.

So, how about we forget some small, small things today? Where do you want to start? Let’s start by forgetting about the concept of time and space. Forget it? The concept of time and space, just forget about it. That includes all interpretations and judgments about anything in time and space. Don’t hold onto anything at all. Even if they come up through your mouth (you will find that a lot of things are spoken) don’t be attached even to that. Many times, [Chuckles] it happens like that (I see with some of you) you become attached to it only after you have spoken it. Before that, it was nothing but once it comes out of the mouth you say ‘No, no, I have invested in that. Now I don’t want to look stupid by saying that it’s nothing, so I better own this.’ [Chuckles]. So, I am saying that even this, if it is something which seems to be coming from your own mouth, let it come and let it go. Leave the entirety of time and space alone. Leave all objects, all people, this body, everything that you perceive; leave it alone. Forget about time and space. That means forget about past, forget about future, forget about here, forget about there, forget about this and that. All of it that you think you know is not worth anything at all. So, time and space: gone.

Can you forget about true and false? You might say ‘But we come to Satsang for Truth and you yourself have said “Truth for Truth sake” and now you are saying forget about true and false.’ But the Truth that I am speaking of does not have the opposite which is false. The Truth that I am speaking of is the Unchanging Truth. It has no opposites, nothing is in opposition to it; nothing can falsify it. It never is not. That is what is True. So, this True is the opposite-less true. The true and false which I am asking you to forget about is that true and false on which you base your position. On which you base you positions, like ‘I just what this for myself because I know what is true and what is false.’ So, the true and false which I am speaking about is that true and false which you think is true; that truth which you think is right and wrong; that true and false which allows you to hold grievances and specialness, allows you to take positions. ‘I am like this, I am not like this, you are like this, you are not like this, my life should be like this, it should not be like this’ because you think that something you know is true. But actually, this mind doesn’t know anything at all.

You will not lose anything. The truth cannot true if it is dependent on a thought. The mind is selling you this fear that ‘If I forget about the truth then it might just go away.’ But then it was never the truth anyway. Because Truth by virtue of being the Truth cannot go. Truth always IS. So, only the false needs this concept of true and false. You don’t know any truth mentally. And I know that this means discarding all the spiritual concepts also. I know this means discarding everything that we know and coming to a very, very naked position (in a way we can say). A position-less position.

What have we forgotten about so far? Forgot? [Chuckles] Time and space, true and false. Can we also forget about cause and effect? ‘This is the cause of this, this caused this for me, this causes that; if I do this then I should get this.’ All this is also nonsense. [Chuckles] All this is also nonsense, that ‘something causes another thing and something else caused that and then something else caused that.’ Actually, none of this is true. If at all we have to say something, we can only say: There is only One cause, which is Consciousness or the Self.

That is why for a few weeks now when somebody says ‘Why this? Why?’ we have been saying ‘Consciousness.’ [Smiles] It’s not just as a joke (although it’s nice, fun thing to say also). That is the only seemingly valid response you can give to any why question. ‘Why this?’ Consciousness. ‘Why not this?’ Consciousness. ‘Why me?’ Consciousness. ‘Why not me?’ Consciousness. Because it is this very light of Consciousness that brings all of this to life. This entire play comes to life only when You Are (‘I Am’).

So, forget about these ideas. ‘Only if I think this or I do this then this will happen in my life.’ And as we forget about time and space, we cannot really hold onto cause and effect anyway because it is completely dependent on time. But you never experience time; you only experience Now. This could be the first moment of this dream.

[Silence]

So, time and space, cause and effect and true and false. Another last thing we can forget about is ‘me’ and ‘mine’. Everything that you think you are, forget about it. It’s already gone, actually. Don’t login again. Don’t identify. Don’t believe anything which the mind says is true about you because it is not. You are way beyond being captured by a concept. You are not conceptual. You are not even perceptual.

So, what True statement you can you make about yourself?  What true thought can you have about yourself? That would make you a conceptual object. All thoughts are about objects, all thoughts are about some quality, all thoughts are about some attributes. So, anything you think about ‘me’ and ‘mine’ can also be thrown out.