BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

What is the source of this perceiving itself?

As you start looking in this way, you come to this point where you recognize this beautiful Being, Your very Presence …, which is not saying ‘I Am’.

‘I Am’ is a representation for Its very Existence.

[Silence]

That is when I told Shraddha ‘Yes, I can show you God but you have to try and stop being.’ And in a moment, you can have this revelation that This that Is is not a person, not an entity, is not involved in time and space. It is the very light of Consciousness from which then all these appearances, like waves, come and play and recede back into your very Being. Your very Existence is That which you have been searching for. It is Your Timeless Presence; unborn, undying.

[Silence]

This is why the Sages have said that ‘We have looked (and we’ve looked everywhere) but within ourselves we have not looked.’ We went from place to place, satsang to satsang, but where is this God to be found? When we start looking within, then we find this Consciousness which you can never lose.

Don’t have this misunderstanding that when you are looking, you are looking inside your body. If you look inside the physical body, you will find only flesh and blood. You have the capacity to look within YourSelf, which is much beyond this body. The body is just another appearance which will come and go. You look within YourSelf.

[Silence]

Allow your mind and intellect completely to submerge in this Being. Nothing left to understand now, nothing left to know, nothing to resolve, nothing to fix …, and yet, there is no aversion to the activities of the world. This body and the world can continue. As my Master says ‘Leave this existence (the existence of all of this) to Existence Itself.’

[Silence]

Nothing was ever lost, nothing is being found, all these notions now serve no purpose.

All egoism, all selfishness; let it go. Everything is taken care of.

[Silence]

Now, for some of you, you will naturally just rest here in your unlimited Being.

Nothing is missing. All is done.

[Silence]

But for some, you’ll have this intuitive insight that ‘I am aware even of this Being’ …, that ‘This Awareness remains untouched, even in the coming and going of the waking state; or any state, any experience.’

As you see YourSelf without qualities, without shape or size, beyond perception, then this world only becomes a play on a field, a set of changing images. Nothing that’s here can hurt you and touch you.

Last time when Shraddha was here, she said something very beautiful. She said ‘Ananta, you say that if I look around, I don’t find the person anywhere. You know, this person gets all my belief but if I look around, I don’t see this person anywhere. But how come we can’t say the same thing for God also? [Chuckles] Because God also we don’t find. If I look around, we also don’t find God anywhere.’ Then she had a beautiful revelation.

Let’s start with this one. Now, all of us are supposed to be spiritual seekers. That’s why we are here in Satsang. So, if we are spiritual seekers, we must be seeking something. [Smiles] We must be seeking the Self or the Truth or God, Satguru. So, let’s use these words synonymously for a bit. If I tell you [Points to a sangha member] ‘You go down to Indiranagar [Nearby locality] and take the second left; from there, just three hundred meters in, you will find God’ what will you do? [Smiles]. Probably because I am saying this, you might follow. But if somebody else says it, you will say ‘What’s this?’ So, whatever directions I can give you here, in this realm (this perceptible realm) you know already that there is no such entity called God that you will find. (No, we will leave that discussion for later; whether everything that is perceptible is God anyway. We’ll leave that for a bit.) At least, we start by admitting that ‘Anything that I find through my sensory perception, I cannot claim that that is God.’  Why? Because it is not timeless, it is not unchanging: these are the attributes of the unchanging Self or God.

So then, if we can’t find God there, then where do we find God? If I can’t give you directions, like ‘Go twenty miles north then thirty miles east and there is God there’ …, if you can’t find an object like that and you already know that ‘I have searched and searched everywhere but God or the Self is not to be found in that way’ then how do we answer Shraddha’s question of ‘Yes, I admit that there is no person but I also can find no God.’

So, all this sensory perception is gone. We can break it down and say ‘Okay, now go to your mind and find a favorite thought. Wait for one glorious thought to come and that thought is God.’ But you will say ‘But even this thought comes and goes. It is not the unchanging, ever present.’ So, this thought can’t be it.

Then I say ‘Okay, go to your imagination and paint a very beautiful image of God and that is God.’ Then also you will say that ‘My attention goes on other things. This is just a visual. This is constantly changing. This is also not God.’

Then I say ‘Go to your memory and find, in the past, something that we find over there which is God.’ And you can look at all your memories, all experiences, but you cannot find anything which is unchanging. They are just from the past.

So, we looked at this world; we haven’t yet looked at the body. If I said ‘In your big toe, there is God [Chuckles] but it’s not in your little toe. Just in your big toe, there is God.’ You will say ‘What is this? [Smiles] God must be everywhere; that’s what we have been told. He must be ever present. What do you mean this part of the body or that part of the body, or only this body? That also doesn’t make any sense.’

Then you looked at your thought, you looked at memory, you looked at imagination. Then I tell you ‘Okay, if you tell me what is 578 into 765 in this moment, you will find God. The answer is God; like forty-two is God’ or something like that. You will say ‘What is that?’ So, you can’t reason your way to God. You cannot use your intellect. You cannot compute your way to God.

So, we’re done with the world, done with this body, done with the mind, done with the intellect:

Where is God to be found?

What is left for you to go to?

At some point, we have to stop playing this game because God is not to be found in these things. Any of these layers of our existence, we have not found this Self, Satguru or God.

But is there something left? Or no?

Is there some place we haven’t looked yet in this exercise?

We have looked at the world, we have looked at the body, we have looked at the thoughts, we have looked at the memories, we have looked at our imagination, we have looked at our intellect. Anything left?

[Silence]

Many, many bodies; many, many worlds; many, many realms of experience; many states we have experienced. But not contained in any of these experiences, any of these states, is the unchanging…, the timeless One.

Now, we have to look in another direction.

We have to look in the direction of the looking itself.

Who is there?

Q: Beloved Father, at times it seems that during negotiations, one must take a stand. Is this selfish? In my case, it seems like all of this is coming from a space where there is no conflict. It could seem to the other party that you’re being unreasonable but that is not the case. I wish to walk as per your guidance.

A: This is what I was just answering. In your inner attitude, you remain neutral. This is what all of us know. We can smell it; we can just smell where something is coming from. So, we can sense, we can smell and see, what is at the root of all of this. And if we find just space and openness there, then no trouble. But if you find a sense of ‘No, I am right; this one is wrong’ then I can tell you that there is really no such thing. [Chuckles] Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Nothing in the world has inherent meaning.’

This is a very powerful line: Nothing in the world has inherent meaning in itself. It is what we choose to label it as; what we choose to put on it, impose upon it.

So, there is nothing inherently good or bad, right or wrong; even left or right, up or down. These are meanings that we have given to the world. All these things are just not there. We have made a particular reference point about ourself. That’s why some of these movies are fun. You know how they like to make these movies where they switch bodies; where the father becomes the son and the son becomes the father? They go through a fun journey and at the end they get a better understanding. Because the reference point changes and you’re suddenly like ‘Oh, this was a switch.’

So, Guruji also says sometimes ‘Look as if you’re looking from the other person’s perspective. What do you find there?’ All these are just tips and tricks to see whether you’re coming from a place of notion-less-ness or you’re still making a reference point that ‘I am this one; you are this one.’

Also, don’t know what you’re going to do. Don’t know what you’re going to do because you truly don’t. What it means is ‘Don’t pretend to know what you’re going to do.’ Don’t know actually anything at all. Don’t know anything at all. Inwardly, be empty of all of this. Even if you’re in the midst of a big business negotiation.

The very same Intelligence which is playing with this world, the very same Intelligence which has come up with all of this (light, sound, gravity, memory, imagination, attention, belief; all of these forces are here) …, that very Intelligence is running this life.

All I’m advising all of you to do is drop all distinctions. Whatever happens in the play of this world, whatever happens in the movie is what happens in the movie.

Q: Is there some kind of balance to be made around…, like you said to just remain defenseless? Because I can see the value in that, in losing this kind of sense of self-righteousness. […] But sometimes things aren’t right in a certain way and if you remain defenseless, if you’re passive in the flow…

A: Yes. That’s why it’s important. Very good you brought this up. I’m not talking about the activities of the body or which words you might be speaking or what actions are coming or emerging. I’m speaking of the neutrality of your inner space. As you remain neutral in that, then you’ll find that there is no reason to take a position because whatever has to unfold in this body will unfold anyway. If you find that there is something ‘wrong’ in this phenomenal world, then the body might respond to it in its own natural way. Just like how does the body fight infection? If some germs are attacking the body, automatically some reaction comes, some antibodies and these things automatically come. Isn’t it? Suppose you had the idea that you had to do all of that and say ‘Antibodies, go! Immune system, on!’ [Chuckles] You see? You don’t have to do that. Something naturally keeps the so-called balance in this world; this yin and yang. Automatically, we are in a flow.

In fact, what might happen (and we don’t have to predict this) what might happen for some of you is that as you come to this place of neutrality, you might find your mouth saying things which are stronger than you ever said in the past. (‘Who is this guy?’) Because something becomes unburdened. So, some might become just completely quiet and some might become like a missionary almost. Some might become, like trying to help this phenomenal world.

So, I’m not predicting or trying to give you a code on how just to live the life of this body. I’m saying: Let that be lived by this Holy Presence which is already there. But don’t pick up the idea that there is somebody here individually that can do any of this.

All that you can seemingly-do is let go of any individualistic notions about yourself. So, coming to defenselessness or dropping self-righteousness is an inner attitude that I’m talking about. And there is great value in that.

Okay, we can make a deal! [Laughs] You stop looking for the truth in phenomenal objects and I will do the rest. Stop looking for answers, solutions, truth, Self, God in objects which will come and go; in anything that comes and goes, don’t expect to find anything. The rest of it, I will do.

[Silence]

You realize what all you have given up now? You’ve given up the idea of ‘me,’ the idea of ‘mine,’ the idea of world, body, mind; all that is phenomenal. Don’t make any distinctions about anything at all…, and I will remove the distinction between phenomenal and non-phenomenal.

Forget about time, space, next and past. Just in case it is feeling like or sounding like you have lots of homework to do, know that in this moment, all of this is done. In this moment, all that is needed is done. You are in the Presence of Your own Existence, Your own Being, which is the most enlightened Being; the only One. All the manifest stages have been just a manifestation of Your own Atma, of Your own Being.

[Silence]

Mind might come and say ‘So, now what? What then?’ Remember you said you were going to forget about all phenomenal things? Time is also phenomenal. Forget about ‘next’. You know it feels a bit… [acts agitated, frustrated]. This is just the patient with withdrawal symptoms on the bed in the rehab. The need to know, the need to project into the future, the need to understand have so far been personal and so far been individualistic. If you allow this addiction to pass through you, you will come to a deeper knowing, a deeper understanding, which is not limited by the rules of time and space, the laws of physics; by what can be and what cannot be.

Very importantly, throw away the ideas of self-righteousness because all our selfishness is actually hidden behind these ideas of self-righteousness. What do you feel you are right about? Forget about it because it has nothing to do with the Real You. It is all part of the make-believe character who used these ideas to bring color to this non-existent character that we call the ego; the person. Don’t be afraid to live naked for some time without these concepts. They have not shielded you from anything anyway. Become defenseless, become notionless.

I’ll give you a ‘money-back guarantee.’ [Chuckles] Huh? You become defenseless for a week, notionless for a week, and if doesn’t work out for you, I guarantee you I will give all your notions back. Full refund. (If you want it.) I’m just making light of it, actually. What will happen for most of us is that some notions will still come, they will get belief, we will identify and then we will recognize that this is causing nothing but misery and suffering, so we will throw it away. But at least, as we play these games, something is getting imbibed [absorbed] in you that ‘These ideas that I buy from my mind are not in service to my Reality.’

Q: The mind comes and says ‘This is what I need to do to get freedom.’

A: So, you can inquire and say ‘Who is the ‘I’ that is bound?’ Because at the centre of all these mental notions is the notion of the ‘me.’ If you inquire into it and find whether it is valid or not…, for example, what could the mind say to you? ‘Do this. Do this and you will be free.’ [Smiles] But do you know this ‘I’ who is bound?

Q: I am still looking for the one who wants freedom.

A: Exactly. How is it that we presume that there is a ‘bound one’ sitting there? We haven’t found this one. How do you know it wants freedom?

Maybe the one that is sitting there is too free. [Smiles] Maybe you are super-bored of your freedom. You don’t know. [Smiles] But how is it that our default position becomes bondage?

Like you say, nicely, that ‘I am still looking for the one who wants freedom’. If we don’t even know this one, how come we take the presumption of bondage for granted …, and we start the search for freedom. Isn’t it important to clarify? It is the mind which tells us these kinds of things. It says ‘You are not complete, you need something to complete yourself; you need relationship, you need money, you need a better body’ and ultimately it will say ‘You need freedom’.

But this ‘you’ (like you said) who needs all these things, you have not found. And can I tell you something? Nobody has ever found this one. Nobody has ever found the one that needs anything at all. Nobody has found …, because it doesn’t exist. I look but I did not find. The one who was incomplete, the one that is limited does not exist has never been found. Just a presumed idea; just a presumption.

Q: Where to look? It’s not in the thoughts, not in anything perceivable.

A: It’s not in the thoughts; it’s not in anything that is perceivable. What else is there? This is a good checklist. He says ‘Where to look for him; this one?’ Then he said ‘Not in the thoughts, not in anything perceivable’ so that includes thoughts also. Is there something else which is there about you, besides all that is perceivable? Are you just something which is perceivable or is there something about you which is beyond perception?

Q: Must be…

A: ‘Must be’ is just presumed? What’s your experience?

Q: Presumed.

A: So, the one that is in the realm of perception is presumed; the one that must be beyond perception is also presumed. So, drop both of these perceptions and stay with what you actually find.

Possible? It’s very possible.

So, you say ‘It is not in thoughts. In fact, it is not in anything perceivable.’ So, I said to you ‘Is there something more to you than just that which is perceivable?’

Q: Yes.

A: Is that changing?

Q: No.

A: Everything that is an object of perception, we call it an appearance. Isn’t it? Why do we call it ‘appearance’? Because it is our experience that everything that comes as an object also goes. With appearance, there will be disappearance. That’s why the question is valid.

Is everything about you limited to the realm of your perception?

Or is there something about you which is not in perception?

Are you just a set of perceptions?

Are you just an appearance?

Q: Is that the same question as asking …

A: Don’t investigate the question. In the sense of don’t investigate whether this question is the same question or another question. You answer the question. [Chuckles]

Q: The question we started with was…

A: Doesn’t matter what it was; what we started with or not. You answer the question. Why do you want to change it for another question of ‘whether it is the same question or not?’ [Smiles]

Q: Then I feel like there are two questions I’m looking at.

A: There are not two questions. Just answer this question.

Are you an appearance?

In the sense of: Are you just a bundle of perceptions?

Is there something about you which is not a perception?

Q:  I don’t know how to go about doing it…

A: There is no ‘How to.’

Q: Then isn’t it the same thing as …

A: It could be. But that is not the question at this point. See, you don’t have to cook this meal. You know what I mean? You are figuring out how you will be able to do this. I am telling you to answer the question, which means that the meal is here you just have to eat it. You are figuring out how to cook this at home; what is the recipe? I am saying you answer it now. [Smiles]

Is here something about you which is not a perception? Let’s go one by one. Everything about you, we go one by one and we will say whether it is perception or not.

Q: The body.

A: Body is perception? Or no?

Q: Perception.

A: That is perception. A: What else; feelings? Perception?

Q: Perception.

A: Thoughts.

Q: Perception.

A: Also perception. What else?

Q: That’s about it.

A: Did the body see the body?

Did the thought see the body?

Did the emotions see the body?

Is there anything else that you said?

Q: Didn’t see.

So, none of this saw the body. Then who did? If this is all there is to you: body, feeling, thoughts, emotions. Then who saw the body? But we said these are the aspects of the ‘me’. Which part got missed out then?

You know what I an asking? We said ‘Let’s talk about all the various aspects that you consider yourself to be.’ You said ‘Body, thought, feelings, emotions, sensation…, all this.’ And you said ‘All of this is perception.’ Then we went one-by-one and said ‘Which one saw the body? We saw that the body did not see itself, the thought did not see the body, the feeling did not see the body; then who did?

You did, no?

Q: Yeah.

A: You did. And yet it was none of these things. It was none of these perceptions that were the witness to another perception. Then, who is the witness to these perceptions?

Q: I am.

A: Yes, it is You. What can you say about this one? [Silence] Little bit? Is this one in the amusement park (as we defined it earlier)? [Silence]

Okay, now get rid of this one. [Chuckles] The body will go, feelings will go, thoughts will go; all the other sensations, perceptions are coming and going, we have the experience of them coming and going. But this one, push it away. [Smiles]

[Silence] Can’t do it?

But…? [Chuckles] There is usually a lot of doubt, a lot of ‘But…’ which the mind will now bring up and I’ve seen that one comes and gets some belief. I am very happy to have this conversation with you if it comes like that, where you end up believing a ‘But…’ (a doubt).

Q: [Inaudible]

A: This ‘I’ that is making the conclusion is the same one that you discovered yourself to be just now?

Q: It’s a thought.

A: It’s just a thought. So, it’s like you come to the Leela Palace; there are five different roads. Now, when you get to the Leela palace, are you so concerned about ‘Why did I take this road; I could have taken that road?’ It doesn’t matter.

The Sages are not pointing to many different things. They are all pointing to the same thing using different pointers. The ‘But…’ is always the ‘But…’ which says ‘But then what does it mean for me? I found that there is no such ‘me’ …, I found that I am the unchanging primal Witnessing Itself…, but what about me?’ [Smiles] There can’t be a doubt without that inherently in there somewhere.

[Reading from chat]: “Can I ask you a question relating to our conversation where you ask me to watch satsang again, saying ‘I feel a fundamental point is being missed. I would invite you to look at the Satsang again. Look at the concepts of answers, understanding and knowing.’ Can you say something to it, as I didn’t get what you mean?”

I´ll say a little bit because I feel like this contemplation, as frustrating as it might seem, it is important to go through that frustration. And that day I was inviting you to look because you were feeling a bit frustrated that the question sometimes is ‘x’ but the answer seems to be Martian. You see? [Chuckles] It is not in the same vocabulary at all. So, it can feel like ‘But how did you answer the question?’

So, when I was saying to look at the concept of ‘answer,’ to look at the concept of ‘understanding and knowing’ I was inviting you to looking at: suppose the answer was perfect. Suppose the answer was perfect and you heard something which really aided your understanding and you knew what the answer is now; how something is something. You knew it perfectly because the answer conveyed that. You see? And because it comes from a credible source then it becomes an important part of your understanding. And that is the last thing I want to do. [Chuckles] That is the last thing I want to do. I don´t want to add to your understanding at all because this kind of ‘understanding the right answer, the right knowing’ …, they are all oxymorons. There is no such thing.

So, I don´t want to replace one understanding with a new understanding, where it can feel like ‘Oh, I have a better understanding now.’  So, what would the answer be? No answer that is a concept. Now, especially. And I do this with some of you who have been in Satsang long enough with me, so hear me in this way that if I give you an answer it will just become an answer; if you have a concept and I give you another concept, you’ll just replace with a better concept. So, I don´t want to answer the question because it will give you an ‘understanding’. [Chuckles] I want to confuse you, confound you, frustrate you, so that you throw away this entire endeavor to feel like you can ever know anything at all. What you meet over there is a deeper knowing.

We were talking about spiritual avoidance, spiritual by-passing, and I was saying that avoidance is actually to put a label on something and pretend as if you know it. To meet it as a label is to avoid meeting it as it is. Now, to the mind, this ‘not-labelling’ sounds like it is by-passing because you are not calling fear ‘fear,’ you are not calling sorrow ‘sorrow,’ not calling grief ‘grief.’ In fact, it’s like ‘Oh, he is just trying to avoid grief or suffering or sorrow.’ No. Meeting it completely! But empty of the presumption; the false presumption that ‘I know what it is’. You have never experienced this thing that we call grief because what the label stands for is maybe one aspect of an emotion. But we never experience the same emotion also twice. But when we meet it as ‘something’ …

And this applies to all labels. We just say ‘Man. I am meeting a man.’ No. You have never met a man. Every experience has been unique. Or you are meeting a cat. You never met a cat. Cat means so many things. So, the avoidance is to use a label and presume that ‘I know what this is’ but we don´t know what this is.

So, that led to an even more beautiful contemplation on ‘what it means to know’ itself. The question on spiritual avoidance or by-passing led to an even more beautiful contemplation on: What do we mean by ‘known’? What do we mean by an ‘answer’? What do we mean by ‘understanding’?

We don´t know anything and that is the best news. Empty of these photocopies of life, empty of this conceptual version of life; when we meet life naked, when we meet life open, defenseless.  If you are just meeting concepts (even concepts like spiritual concepts of what things should be like, how life should be lived) who has solved these things, ever? [Chuckles]

You don´t know what anything is, therefore, there is no real answer to anything at all.

And for some time, I`ll play this game with you where I will give you answers which seem to remove the question. I´ll give you answers which contradict the concept that you might have and you might feel like there is spaciousness in that. And that is fine. But ultimately this idea that ‘something can be known’ itself has to be confronted. We have to come face-to-face with that. Because that is what keeps our arrogance that ‘I can know something’ or in some cases ‘I know better’ or ‘I have seen the truth.’ That becomes the basis for arrogance; that becomes a basis for separation …, anything that we think we know. Even the translation of our direct insight can lead to a sense of separation. ‘But because I have seen this; I have had this experience’ …, like that, you see?  Nothing. Nothing I want you to rely on mentally.

Be fully naked from all of this because this will only cause trouble. It will only lead to suffering.

It is the ego which gives the sense of separation. The idea or the belief in limitation has been our avoidance of the Isness, our avoidance of ‘What Is’. It tells you that ‘You have to meet life in labels. You have to meet life in notions. You have to know what something is. You have to work it out in your head. You have to resolve what is happening to you to come to a better position.’

That is why the minute the invitation comes and you are invited to drop all concepts about yourself, for many of you, you are feeling some fear. Therefore, it is the concept itself which was in avoidance of this fear of the unknown. The minute you are left without the crutches of concepts there is a habitual yearning to hold on to some concepts. Therefore, what has been the avoidance? The avoidance has been the concept of the dropping of it.

What is aware of your existence? Maybe we can clarify what we mean by existence. I chased the existence for few years. I chased this ‘I Am’ for few years. The statement itself is beautiful, of course. But it felt like, actually, this ‘I Am’ I could not find. And one day, it just showed up. That which is always there, just showed up. So, I realized that a better question to ask is not whether you can find Being, whether you can find your Atman …, but whether you can ‘stop Being.’

Can you stop being?

Try to stop being.

Don’t be. Don’t exist.

Inverting the question, truth is completely apparent: I Am.

Your existence has nothing to with the thought ‘I Am.’

If you stop thinking for a minute, you will not vanish. [Smiles]

You still will Be.

Now, what is aware of this existence?

Who is aware of it?

What is the size of that one?

Who is aware of the Presence, of your existence?

Does this one have a birthday?

[Silence]

Does this one have desires and aversions?

Is this one the ‘doer’ or ‘non-doer’? [Smiles]

What concept is true here?

[Silence]

Now, this ‘I’ (which you can See is beyond Being or non-Being) you can’t apply any of these labels also to it; neither existence nor non-existence.

Consciousness, for some reason, decided to wake up in a manifest way; decided to start ‘Am-ing.’

That which is beyond Being or non-Being:

Now. You Are.

’I Am’ is Here.

The sense of ‘Am-ness.’

The sense of Being Present is Here.

All is Here.

In Your very existence, all things are present.

Your Being is the substratum of the existence

(of the existence of anything).

[Meditative silence]

Now, what is the need to be something?

Your Being is Here. But do you need to be something?

Don’t attach to anything.

Don’t make a reference point about yourself.

Don’t give yourself a center.

Don’t refer to any object, any sensation, any feeling, as yourself.

[Meditative silence]

All of spirituality is about how not to attach to this idea of something;

how not to pick up a notion about yourself.

The mind is using this invitation to accept the notion about yourself.

You can inquire in to the validity of the notion or just let it go; surrender it.

[Meditative silence]

This inquiry or surrender is what is called the direct path. There are many, many thousands of ways in which you can play with your attention and try to divert it away from the mental constructs. Then the entire world becomes the basis of practice or spiritual sadhana.

[Silence]

But I am inviting you to check and See that You are empty of all notions about yourself Right Now. And Your Presence is the only Presence. Maybe you call it the Presence of God or the infinite Consciousness. You know, it does not matter.

These two questions are very interlinked:

The first is ‘Who does the ‘I’ represent?’

The second question is ‘What are you right about?’

We feel like we are right about so many things. But the foundation on top of which the building of ‘being right’ has been erected itself is shaky because we don’t know who we are. The ‘I’ is just a presumed one. And that ‘I’ is the basis of all other mental knowledge. Life seems to be shaky, full of suffering, because we want stability from this ever-changing set of concepts. We want stability in this world. Everybody knows (even a child knows) that things are constantly changing. We want stability from this. Our ideas about the world and ourself are also constantly changing and we want stability from this. No wonder our lives seem like a roller coaster.

Both these are worth looking at:

When we say ‘I’ …, who does it represent?

Who are we talking about?

You might say ‘I want Freedom.’ Just these three words ‘I want Freedom’ and what happens? We start looking at the ‘Freedom’ part of it. We’ll usually start looking at the suffix, the predicate part of it. ‘I want this. I want happiness. I don’t want pain.’ The ‘I’ part is just presumed and we quickly rush to see how we can sort out the second part. Hardly anyone investigates the first part.

Who does this ‘I’ represent? And we attach so many things to this ‘I’. ‘I am like this, I am not like that.’ We don’t know any of this because we do not know the ‘I’. [Chuckles] This is what I meant by the second question, which is: ‘What am ‘I’ right about?’ You feel like ‘Oh, this is true. This is valid. This is something I definitely know.’ But we don’t know because the main part, which is the ‘I’ part itself, is unknown.

Another way of asking this is to ask ‘Which concept are you unwilling to let go of?’ or ‘Which set of concepts are we unwilling to let go of?’ And usually they are those we have invested a lot in and we feel like ‘If I just take it through, I will come to something because of this.’ Like the prodigal son saying that ‘I will make it eventually because I have taken the step to step away from my Father. I want to prove to him that I can make it in the world.’ That is the egoic version of trying to become God.

You are seeking to become God. You are seeking to find Oneness. But your starting point already is That. And when You investigate into the nature of this ‘I’ …, You will find This.

Now, what happens is that on this side [Gestures Outward] of the ‘I Am’ is the amusement park. [Chuckles] On this side of perception [Gestures Outward] is the amusement park. It has so much variety, so much cotton candy, so much masala, spices. Everything [Gestures Outward] is on this side. We can feel like ‘I can just look at this stuff and this stuff and this stuff and get some joy, get some bliss, feel some suffering, get some love, feel some heartbreak.’ See, that’s the amusement park. But on the other side of perception, the One that is looking ItSelf, there is no path, there is no quality, there is no attribute. There is nothing that you can actually verbalize (speak of). That’s why we keep going back to the amusement park to find something that is unchanging…, which is just not possible. It’s like trying to get on the roller coaster and wanting to have a stable life. Is it possible? … to tie yourself to a roller coaster and want to be just at peace? [Chuckles]

So, if all that is phenomenal is on one side, then That which witnesses the phenomenal, what can we say about that? You say ‘I am aware of my existence. I witness the world. I Am.’ This ‘I’ …, before Am …, which one is that?

You cannot compute your way to this answer. You can think for a million lifetimes. Every moment you can think about this answer and you will still not get it. You can come up with a lot of intellectual garbage. You will not get it by thinking about it. You will not get it in the content of the world and you will not get it through mental and intellectual pursuit. At best, the power of intellect can be used to say ‘I am not this. Not this; because this is changing. Not this; because this is changing. Not this; because this is coming and going.’ The best use of the intellect, maybe, in our spiritual pursuit is this way: as a negation. ‘I cannot be just this. I cannot be just this.’ But the intellect will not solve what You Are. It will not solve it in the content, in the percepts of the world and it cannot solve it in the concepts of the mind.

Give up on these two for a moment in your mentation. [Gestures to indicate busy mind] Just let it go on. Stop doesn’t mean that God should stop. Stop only means that you don’t bother about them. Let them come and go. Let the world be as it is.

[Reading from chat] “Then the mind crashes this Truth.”

Which means ‘I feel like I don’t exist (the ‘me’) then the mind comes and crashes this Truth.’ What is the mind doing? Just offering up notion after notion. You are the space in which the notions are arising. You are the space in which all sensations, all perceptions, are coming and going.

Now, let a notion make a scratch on this space. [Points finger to physical space] Let it crash into some space. Can it? Invite it; welcome it. Don’t say ‘Mind go away’ …, say ‘Come. Make one scratch, make one mark, on this space; even this physical space.’

Can we become a little like this? ‘Bring it on’ types?

Invite the mind and say ‘Okay, bring it on. Let me see you make a scratch on this space. You can’t even make a scratch on this space! I am much more subtle than even this space. So, if you can’t even make a scratch on this space, what scratch can you make on the Self?’

Your magnificence is much beyond this mind. It’s like: You are royalty, okay?

Let’s say you are a prince; like Harry who just got married. You are Prince Harry and you are getting married just now and suddenly there is a tiny ant which is walking across the church. And you say ‘But I can’t get married, there is a tiny ant in the church.’ [Chuckles] Your Truth is much greater than that. You are God itself; beyond that even. [Chuckles] (‘Higher than that’ even.) [Refers to an ancient story] Then this tiny insect comes. What is happening to You?

There is no sufferer. [Silence] Nobody has ever found the one who is suffering. The body is not complaining about the mind. Consciousness is not complaining about the mind. The Absolute is not complaining about the mind. It is the mind pretending to be the policeman complaining about the thief, which is itself.

What can you not [say] ‘Guru kripa kevalam’ [to]? The death of the body? Is that outside the scope of your Master’s Grace? Is it? [Chuckles]

It’s like you have an all-expenses-paid holiday (in Bali or something) …, an all-expenses-paid holiday in Bali but it feels like you are trying to earn ten rupees here and there so that you can have your next meal. [Chuckles] If you have a Master, then there is nothing you have to worry about. Life, death; what to do, what not to do; where to go, where not to go; whether you are understanding or not understanding…, everything is the Guru’s problem.

That’s why I often say ‘Either you can have a Guru or a problem.’ (And this will appeal more to the devotional temperament, of course. I know that to the logical ones this will sound like just airy-fairy stuff. But I am telling you this because I know you have a devotional temperament.)

So, what is outside the Guru’s scope?

What cannot be managed by the Divine?

[Reads chat]: “I can see how my conditioning is not used to ‘Guru kripa kevalam’ but I am open.”

Openness to any aspect of Satsang. It doesn’t have to be surrender, it doesn’t have to be inquiry; it can be either. Or just at least if there is openness to come to Satsang for a few minutes, then something will already start to unfold. Even if you don’t trust that yet; even that is fine. Just a few moments in your life where you are not chanting the mantra of ‘me’.

Just a few moments of our lives where we are not chanting the ‘me’ mantra.

Treat every notion as if it is not applicable to you. Treat every notion as if it is not applicable. It is an email sent in error. An email comes to you and says ‘You must go to HAL police station and get verification done.’ [Smiles] That is all that is in the subject line. And then you read ‘Oh, it is to ‘Dear… (somebody else). I don’t have to spoil half my day waiting at the police station.’ In the same way, all these emails from the mind are not meant for you. The mind has a wrong WhatsApp number. [Smiles] It is trying to reach a person.

Let all the messages be directed towards the Satguru. You can [say] ‘Guru kripa kevalam’ [to] everything. Auto-responder. [Smiles] (Yes, I have come from a full day at work, okay. [Laughter] All these work references are coming.)

Let the auto-responder be: Guru kripa kevalam. [Smiles]

All emails from the mind: Guru kripa kevalam.

‘Oh, but you are running out of money.’… Guru kripa kevalam.

‘That is such an irresponsible way to live.’ … Guru kripa kevalam.

‘You are going to end up on the streets.’ … Guru kripa kevalam.

‘You are being a complete loser.’ … Guru kripa kevalam.

Nothing is going to happen to your life. Your complete way of thinking is ‘Guru kripa kevalam.’

‘So, that means that now you have found a cheat code; you don’t have to do anything at all.’

… Guru kripa kevalam. [Chuckles]

‘You can just lay in bed all day.’ … Guru kripa kevalam.

‘I don’t need to do work.’ … Guru kripa kevalam.

‘You need to work very hard.’ … Guru kripa kevalam.

No position. Either of them is ‘not applicable’.

And then you will see that the body seems to be working, working, working.

Then you will see that the body is just in bed. … Guru kripa kevalam.

The trouble with the idea of surrender is that the mind feels like ‘Oh, but this means that I must become this way; I must become passive.’ But that is not ‘Guru kripa kevalam.’

‘Guru kripa kevalam’ is either way. ‘I have no notion of how this life should turn out. I have no idea of what actions or inactions should happen.’ It can feel a bit wobbly, to not know what the future brings; to try and not control the content of your experience. It can feel a bit strange. So, I don’t even want to tell you it is an adventure because that creates an expectation. It can either be a full ‘Indian Jones’ adventure or it can be very, very normal existing. Nobody knows.

Suppose you are going to a movie and I told you every scene of this movie before going. Would you like it? Then why are you running your life like this? Do you want to know every scene; what’s next, what’s next…?

So, that is the path of surrender: Everything is Father’s problem. [Guru kripa kevalam]

It has nothing to do with activity or action. It is about your inner attitude. Full-on activity or action is possible; or no activity or no action is possible. Both are possible and they have always been done by Consciousness anyway. Consciousness is running this world…

Q: … which doesn’t exist…

A: Which doesn’t exist. [Chuckles] That is why it is effortless. [Laughs]

So, that is surrender.

And inquiry is:

Who is this one?

Who is this?

What is this?

Who am I?

We don’t know. Like ‘What is this?’ [Smiles] Nobody knows. If I ask you, you have no idea. [Chuckles] If I ask you ‘Do you know what is going on this world?’ you have no idea. I have no idea. [Chuckles]

(She has that look: ‘So, then what are we doing here?’) [Chuckles]

Nobody knows what is going on. You think you are the body; the body is going to die anyway. Then why do you want to give it freedom before dying? Then you must think that you are something beyond the body. You feel like ‘Oh, before the body dies, let me find my freedom.’ Isn’t it? [Smiles] ‘Before the body dies, let me find my freedom.’ But then, who is this one?

If you just believe that you are the body, why would you come to Satsang? The most uncomfortable seating, temperature that we can never agree on, noise. We live in Bangalore; too much traffic. If you just thought that you are the body, then there are many better places to pamper the body.

So, what is that you think you are?

[Reading from Yoga Vashista by Swami Venkateshananda]:

“The Absolute is immaterial and so material sources of light (like the sun) do not illuminate it. But it is self-luminous and therefore, it is not inert or dark. The Absolute cannot be realized or experienced by another. Only the Absolute can realize itself.”

Often, we say it like that: In whose light is the sun shining?

Now, this Absolute is immaterial. [Chuckles] Not in the sense of immaterial; (‘Oh, that’s immaterial’) not in the sense of unimportant. Immaterial in the sense of being non-phenomenal. Now, what can shine light on something which is non-phenomenal? [Smiles]

If something is not a thing, what can bring light to it? The sun’s light falls on all things? Or even on something which is non-phenomenal (that which is not a thing)?

The Absolute is immaterial in the sense of not being a material substance. So, material sources of light (like the sun) do not illuminate it. But it is self-luminous, to the extent that the very light of Existence itself (in whose light all of this world-play seems to appear) comes from This which is beyond light and darkness. “And therefore, it is not inert nor dark.” This is very important because very often we say ‘It is not a thing’ and the mind visualizes a dark, empty space. But for Awareness (That which is the primal witness of all things) the mind says ‘Okay, I will help with that’ and it paints this picture of a very dark space.

The question there is: Who is the witness of that? The witness of dark or light, is That dark or light? [Glances at audience. Someone says ‘Beyond.’] Beyond.

This is a very beautiful point. “The Absolute cannot be realized or experienced by another.” There cannot be the Absolute and another. If there was Absolute and another then the Absolute would not be the Absolute. “Only the Absolute can realize itself.”

[Continues reading]:

“The infinite Consciousness is even purer than infinite space. And the world is even as that infinite is. But one who has not tasted capsicum does not know its taste. Even so, one does not experience Consciousness in the infinite in the absence of objectivity. Hence, even this Consciousness appears to be inert or insentient and the world is experienced as such too. Even as in the intangible ocean the tangible waves are seen, in the formless Brahman the world also exists within form. From the infinite, the infinite emerges and exists in it as the infinite. Hence, the word has never really been created. It is the same as that from which it emerges.”

Everyone got it? [Laughter]

So, this Absolute is beyond wholeness, beyond infinity. But best word we have to describe it is ‘wholeness’ or ‘infinity’. Now, that which emerges from this, which is this Consciousness itself, this Being itself or even this universal realm (as we call it) the universe itself…, all of these are also infinite. So, this is that infinite potential in which even these infinite manifestations appear. And yet, it continues to remain Absolute or infinite. This is the uniqueness of this. It is that cause which, once it manifests, also remains completely as it was; which is not to be found in any phenomenon. In phenomenon, if there is a potential for something and it manifests, then it runs out of that potentiality. Like a spring, if it has potential energy stored up, then if it springs out and it expresses itself, it manifests itself, then it has no longer the potential energy stored. But this Absolute, this whole infinite realm comes from That. Infinite Consciousness is born in that and yet it remains whole.

[Continues reading]:

“When the notion of self is destroyed by the withdrawal of the fuel of ideas from the mind, then ‘That which Is’ is the infinite. That which is not sleep nor inert is the infinite. It is on the account of the infinite that knowledge, knower and known exists as One, in the absence of the intellect.”

So, what Is…, when you are notionless? [Looks around] What Is?

Q: Experience.

A: But suppose experience is also a notion? Suppose you did not know the experience or the meaning of experience?

Q: Existence.

A: Existence. [Chuckles] Can we go that far…, like we didn’t know what it means to exist; what existence was? I know here we are grapping with the Holy Grail of Satsang itself; the very ‘I Am-ness’ the Beingness. But suppose we did not have any notion of even that? We didn’t know what it means to exist or not? Then?

Q: There is no word for that.

A: Now, here there are no distinctions left. Even the distinction between the Absolute witness and the Beingness which emerges from it. ‘Me and the world’ …, it knows no such thing. [Smiles] But this can be tasted; like here the Sage was saying ‘You cannot explain the taste of the capsicum to one who has not tasted it.’ [Chuckles]

[Continues reading]:

“Then Ram says, “Lord, during the cosmic dissolution, this world, which is clearly seen now, where does it go?”

Ram is having a conversation with a great sage Vashishta and this whole scripture is about that. So, Ram asks ‘Lord, during the cosmic dissolution, this world, which is clearly seen now, where does it go?’

[Continues reading]

Vashishta says “From where does the son of a barren woman come?” (Don’t mind the language; it’s a bit terse because it’s from those days.) “From where does the son of a barren woman come? And where does he go? A barren woman’s son has no existence ever. Even so, this world, as such, has no existence ever. This analogy baffles you only because you have taken the existence of the world for granted. Consider this: is there a bracelet-ness in the golden bracelet? Is it not just gold? Is there a thing called sky independent of the emptiness? Even so, there is no thing called the world independent of Brahman, the Absolute. Just as coldness is inseparable from ice, what is called the world is inseparable from Brahman. Water in the mirage does not come into being and go out of existence. Even so, this world does not come out of the Absolute nor does it go anywhere.”

So, it is neither created nor not-created. It is neither real nor unreal.

[Continues reading]:

“The creation of the world has no cause and therefore, it has had no beginning. It does not exist even now. How can it reach destruction?”

The only thing that’s happened is that you’ve been told that this is a foreign language movie and you need subtitles. [Smiles] That’s it. This movie that is going on, you’ve been led to believe that you need the subtitles which are coming from this mind to make sense of this. So, in some way we feel like ‘Without this there is no sense in this. I don’t know anything here unless I have the subtitles for this movie.’

Now, these subtitles have been designed so that you can take YourSelf to be one of the characters in the movie and that, in a way, is the ultimate fallacy. Mind is designed to convince You that You are an entity in this play, that You are a limited self, that You are an object. And yet, in one moment of checking when we inquire together, You see that nothing can happen Here. Nothing can happen Here that can hurt Me in anyway (that can really make a dent on Me, a scratch on Me) in Reality. All of us who’ve been in Satsang have had these moments where it’s been completely apparent.

Now, both these things are not possible. If You are an object in this world then the world could hurt you, dent you, affect you. If You are untouched by this world in Reality then You cannot be an object in this world.

Now, there is only one voice which is convincing You that You are limited; that You are an object. And this is what I have been calling the subtitles of this movie. This is the voice of the mind. What does it have? It has duality, it has doership and it has desire. It’s a ‘3-D’ ego. Separation, wanting, and strategy on what to do; to plan what should be done and not done.

Now, my invitation is to try. See how it goes. Don’t bother with the subtitles for a few minutes. Don’t go to the subtitles even about this. [Smiles] Because, as I say, don’t bother with the subtitles I can see …, that immediately you’re going to the mind about this. ‘Hey, my friend, what do you feel about This?’ [Chuckles] ‘You think it’s a good idea?’ [Chuckles]

Try it out. Nothing in this movie in itself has to be avoided. So, spirituality is not some great avoidance. The movie is, in fact, openly embraced. It is only these subtitles that say ‘This should not be’ or ‘Only this should be’. And why not to buy into these subtitles? Because they are constantly referring to You as a limited character within this movie.

The value of the Self-inquiry is to check: ‘Am I really this? Am I just this bucket of flesh and blood; this body? Am I just this coming-and-going energy construct that we call thoughts? Or is there something else that I Am? Is there something greater which is not coming and going?’

Then you discover that you are not a character in this movie. You find that You are not the coconut You are the ocean. In fact, the very ocean of existence is just an aspect of You. The light of the movie and the screen of the movie both are You. But even beyond that, You are That which is the Eternal Witness.

Many, many, many movies You have seen like this and You will continue to see. Millions maybe. [Chuckles]

How is life without the subtitles? And I’m not saying that the subtitles should not appear anymore or that You must avoid looking at them. They can come and go. I jokingly say sometimes that ‘What if your mind started to speak in a language which you did not understand? Would You stop existing? Even when the mind said ‘Oh, I don’t know what’s going on anyway’ even in that you would not understand because it would be in a different language. [Chuckles] What would be your position then? You could not even make the statement ‘I am lost’.

Trust the movie for what it is.
Allow the movie to be what it is.
The movie is not in a foreign language.
You don’t need an interpreter.
It is actually the subtitles which are foreign to You.

The benefit of having a living Master is that You see it is possible to live without these subtitles. Otherwise, we would just keep feeling ‘Oh, well I can’t live like that! How is it possible? I need the mind. What about the practical things?’ [Smiles] And then You See that all of this movie is running on its own. Nobody has been running this life; no individual has been sitting here.

We’ve all had our fun. On the weekend, with the family, we went to this Avenger’s movie. [Smiles] Now it’s fully immersive because it’s IMAX so they give the specs [Glasses] and then you’re fully immersed in the movie; you feel like your apart of it. Now, suppose I came back from that movie believing that I am Spiderman. [Sangha and Father Chuckle] And the narrator’s voice of Spiderman was still here with me and it kept saying ‘Spidey, this one is in trouble. Go with your webs!’ [Chuckles and pretends to shoot spider webs from his hands] What would you tell me? Only just ‘Look at who You are. You’re not one bit like Spiderman.’ You would say that and I would say ‘But this mind. But my mind is telling me.’ [Chuckles] Then you will say ‘But who are you going to believe finally?’ And then you would say ‘You don’t even have to believe me. Just check. Only check: What is it that You really Are?’

Are You what the mind is telling You about YourSelf?
Where is that one?
Where is that Spiderman which you consider YourSelf to be?
Who do You actually find when You look?

[Silence]

Now comes the fun part. [Smiles] (And many get stuck here. This is too much for the mind. Already I am making that disclaimer because you will struggle if you try to understand this with your mind.) Now this is the fun part: When you start looking and you say ‘Okay, I’m not Spiderman. Who am I? Am I Superman? Am I Batman?’ You start looking to find a real object which You could be. You expect to find the Self or God as if it will have some objective quality. But what You find about YourSelf is that You are beyond time and space, that You are not an object, that You have no shape, size, or color. You are not ‘somebody’. Neither are you ‘nobody’. Just that these qualitative things do not apply to You anymore. You are not a thing. You are beyond all description, beyond all sensation, beyond all perception. You are the ultimate unchanging, un-labelable One.

But you know what the funny thing is? All of this, to the mind, means nothing. All of this, to the mind, means nothing. It will tell you now (the subtitles will become like this) it will say ‘You haven’t found anything. All of this is nothing. Are you nothing?’ The emptiness of Your pristine Self, to the mind, seems like an emptiness of the empty glass or something like that. It seems like it is pointless, it is meaningless, to the mind.

Therefore, as you inquire into YourSelf, trust Your own discovery, trust Your own recognition and know that this mind, which is the interpreter of phenomenal things, has nothing Real to say about You.

So, this mind will either take the attacking position which is ‘This is nothing. I still haven’t found it. What is all this? I’ve been at this work for a long time. This is so frustrating.’ (All of this nonsense.) Or it will paint a picture for you, like a big, black, dark, empty space, and it will put itself like the watchman of the picture and say ‘This is what I Am.’ And it will defend that; it will argue. It will apply all the Advaita concepts to this visual which is its idea of nothingness.

You are much beyond either of these positions.
You are not fathomable to this instrument called the mind.

Recognize now the Source of Your very Presence, which is the basis of Your very Existence.
Don’t think about it, don’t infer anything; don’t conclude.
Just look: Where do I come from?

Don’t judge, don’t interpret, don’t conclude.
Don’t start, don’t finish.
Throw away all these notions.
Don’t get it. Don’t lose it.
Empty of all positions.

Recognize Your very Essence as the unborn Self; beyond birth and death.

You have played with your identity, the ego, for long enough.
Now it is time to come home.

It is because Your manifest aspect as Consciousness, as God Itself, wanted to get a taste of limitation that It bought into this idea of separation and suffering. In a way, it created a private hell for Itself.

But empty of this false idea of separation, You will See that this is God’s House. It is It’s living Presence.

Now this is Your only seeming choice. Your only seeming choice is this:

The subtitles or the Satguru;
God’s Presence or the voice of the mind.

And ultimately, even this is not a choice. It is the play of Consciousness Itself. But I remember the time that it felt like one. [a choice]

I know that for many of us, it can still feel like a choice. So, make it. If it feels like a choice, make it.

Choose your Heart over your head.

Choose the Divine Light rather than the voice of limitation.
~ ~ ~
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Excerpt from Ananta Satsang – Date: 22nd May 2018
Entitled: Now Is the Time to Come Home
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qns9a9_gdQo&feature=youtu.be
Times: 0:25-19:40
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Thank you, Beloved Anantaji

Another beautiful way is to look like this: You have presumed that there is a ‘you’ that is looking. You have presumed that the ‘you’ that is looking is a person.

Now, confirm who is really looking.

Let the looking meet the one who is looking.

Confusing? Okay. We’re looking for various things; for this, for that; for peace, for joy; for all of these things. We’ve been looking for relationships, for money; for various things we’ve been looking. So, we’ve just presumed this one to be a limited person ‘me’. The ‘me’ has been looking.

Now, look for the one that has been looking all this time.

Who is that one who has been looking all this time?

And then you’ll see that it’s so primary. [Silence] It’s like if you went home as a child, as a seven-year-old you went home and said ‘Ma, I’m looking for the thief. I’m looking for the thief.’ And you went on like this. After a while, the Mother says ‘Who are you who is looking for the thief?’ and you say ‘I’m the policeman.’ The child might get this imaginary idea that ‘I’m the policeman’. But the Mother will say ‘But are you a policeman, really?’

So, in Satsang, we meet a different type of Father or Mother who is saying ‘But who are you that wants love, that wants peace, that wants relationships, that wants money? First, try to find yourself and see what you really want; if there is a want left over there. Or do you want to live under the presumption of this false policeman?’

Before a Master can give God to the seeker of God, the Master will ask ‘Are you the seeker, really? Can you show me this one? And if you allow yourself to presume here, if you allow yourself to assume the existence of an individual, the existence of a person, then you’ll make a spiritual journey out of this. But if you don’t presume, if you don’t assume that there is a person sitting there, then you will find that there never has been one.’

Then the mind will come and say ‘But I see this body. I am this body.’ Okay, suppose that that was true. Does the body want freedom? Who can say ‘My body wants freedom’? Then better to go do physiotherapy and get more freedom in your bones [Chuckling] or to the chiropractor. We don’t come to Satsang for freedom for the body. There are better places to go to for that (like yoga class).

So, who do we want freedom for?

Who do we want freedom for?

You cannot presume here. You cannot assume this ‘me’. You cannot assume the ‘I’. Because if you presume here, you can play this game for a million Satsangs; millions of lifetimes, millions of realms, millions of universes. You can go on and on. And that’s fine, too. But presumably You are tired of presuming this ‘me’…., you’re tired of this game of individuality. So, drop this assumption or presumption of ‘me’ …, even the one that is looking or seeking:

What do You actually find?

Where do You come from?

Don’t imagine, don’t presume, don’t rely on any words; even scripture. Even the words of Satsang, don’t rely on them as concepts.

What is the Source of Your Existence?

Where do You come from?

This morning, you woke up; where did you wake up from?

Now, the thing is, these questions are super-boring for the idea of ‘me’. And they are blissful when You’re done with this idea of ‘me’. Otherwise, what will happen is that you’ll face a lot of resistance to the inquiry. Because the mind will constantly ask you: ‘What am I getting here? What’s in it for me? Am I getting freedom? Is this finally It for me?’ This notion of ‘me’ will not be helped by anything we hear in Satsang. Once that is clear, we ease up a bit.

See, this is the thing: You cannot find the Self in this way. It is a good illustration, because it can feel like ‘One day I will find the Self in an objective way; just like that AC remote.’ You will not find it in that way. [Pretends to hold up an object in his hand and look at it; chuckling]

Because when you’re going to the Source of the Looking, going to the Source of the Being, you’ll find that there is no attribute, no quality, no color, no shape, no size. And yet, it is not nothing.

It is Your very essence. It is ‘no-thing’ but not ‘nothing’.

So, what I was saying is that if the impulse is still ‘me, me, me; freedom for me, something for me’ then our relationship will be very frustrating. Because everything from here, [Points to himself] the sharing of Satsang happens so that this ‘me’ is pruned away, is pruned away. Everything that you hold onto as ‘me’ is chopped away. Because there is nothing here for this ‘me’. And in Reality, there is nothing anywhere for the Real You.

So, what is it that Nisargadatta Maharaj said? ‘Those who came just now and didn’t understand anything, raise your hands. You all don’t need to come because you’re not understanding. Those who’ve been here a long time and have understood, they don’t need to come because they have understood.’ Then, at the end of Satsang, he asked ‘Who will come tomorrow?’ Everybody raised their hand. Because it’s a strange game. Nothing here for the ‘me’. Nothing here for the Reality because what could give anything to That? And yet, in the play of this life, from the unburdening from this individuality to God, the unburdening of this limited notion of ‘me’ to the Self, it seems to play out in this strange way in Satsang.

It is as simple as this:

I Am.

I am a spiritual seeker.

I am a spiritual seeker, who wants to find God.

Which ones are the lies?

I am.

I Am a spiritual seeker.

And I am a spiritual seeker who wants to find God or has found God or has not found. (All these positions.)

Now, some Sages will say that everything after ‘I Am’ is a lie, is a story. And some like [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj has gone as far as to say that ‘I Am’ is also ultimately a lie. He said ‘The only truth you can speak about yourself is that ‘I Am’ but ultimately, even that is a lie.’

Why don’t we take this completely literally? Just take this completely literally, not marked with some end of some spiritual journey or something like that? Like ‘At that point, I will see this.’

Everything that you say after ‘I Am’ is a lie. Run that like a lawnmower in your garden and see what is left. [Smiles] ‘Running like lawn mower.’ In America, they are also a driving one. You can sit on Lawn mower, like you are rich. So, run these pointers like lawn mower in your garden and see what is left. It is a beautiful one: Everything that you say after ‘I Am’ is a lie. So, if you run this lawn mower in your garden, that will chop away everything; all these weeds of individuality, of separation, of desire, of fear. It will chop away all of these.

Then what is left? Some parts you did not run on; some parts you left? Your favorite weeds, which you feel like roses will come out of? [Chuckles] You even feel like ‘Oh, these are not weeds. They might be a bit thorny but these are roses, rose bushes.’ Like ‘One day, I will go from seeker to enlightened Master.’ [Smiles] ‘I will find my devotees.’ So, everywhere, everything…, everything you believe about yourself. Everything that needs belief, itself is a lie.

And forget about even trying to live like this or something. Because even that can be another thing: ‘Now I am just going to live like this.’ But run your lawnmower even about that. Be empty even of that. Let this coconut body do whatever it wants. Let it go along with all appearances. It [the body] is as much an appearance as the rest of this realm is. So, again, don’t try to limit yourself and say ‘I-as-the-body will try to live this freedom.’ Who can carry this freedom?

What I want to share (if I do want to share something) is the sheer simplicity of this; the sheer simplicity of this so-called discovery of the Self. It is apparent to You who You Are. It is apparent to You who You Are, except when you think you know it. Or let’s say: except when you think you know something. If you did not know anything right now, it’s completely clear.

This is the paradigm shift. We have been conditioned that we can become clear only if we know. In school, if you are learning geography, if you’ve understood the map of the world, if you know where East Africa is and India is on the map then you feel like you know geography. Here, when we let go of all our concepts, then the Truth of what You Are is completely apparent to You. You don’t need to even use the label like ‘the Self’. So, this ‘I,’ this Self (if we are going to use label) is the pure Knowingness Itself. The Knowingness of both conceptual knowing or not-knowing, the Knowingness of both perceptual knowing or not-knowing, the Knowingness of both emotional or sensational knowing or not-knowing happens on the substratum of this unchanging Self.

This Truth, this unchanging, cannot be grasped, cannot be held onto by any concept, by any percept and by any sensation. The grasping of any of these…, either the spiritual experience or a spiritual concept. Depending on our temperament, we are all attracted to various things. Some want an amazing spiritual experience and then they feel ‘That will be it.’ Some want to get to the ultimate concept and they feel like ‘That will be it.’ So, the grasping of these things is not it. It is prior to any of these.

So, when the Sages speak of openness or nakedness it means naked of any notion, any idea about yourself. Who is the One that you meet when you are not meeting a notion?

That is why in India, the Sage Kabir who took this beautiful example that everybody is searching for the emerald; everyone is searching for the emerald but they have in their pocket…, but nobody looks. They look everywhere. ‘Where is the emerald? Where is the emerald? This magical emerald which will be the end of my suffering. This God Presence, this Divine Divinity, where can I find Him?’

There’s just one simple switch that needs to happen. You have looked everywhere in phenomena. Now, look at what witnesses all phenomena.

So, that is one way. You have looked at all phenomena, now look at what witnesses all phenomena.

The Ego is just the idea that ‘I know.’ This ‘I know’ is a bit stubborn. Life is moving. [Chuckles] Life knows, life is moving in its own way. But this idea ‘I know’ keeps resisting; resisting ‘What Is.’ And we feel like this knowing brings some benefits. [Smiles] We feel like this is how I have taken care of myself…, or even the idea that I know where I am meant to go, what I am meant to become, what I am meant to say…, even the idea that I can diagnose myself, I know where I am, I know how much is left to go. You don’t know anything at all like this.

The knowing that comes and goes with concepts is worthless. The knowing that comes and goes with concepts is worthless If you just know that ‘You are Awareness’ mentally, it’s worthless.

So, let’s take an example. You might know the name of this building. Others will not know. But this kind of knowledge, we can lose. When we leave this place in a week, you might forget ‘Oh, what was the name of the building?’ So, it can’t be relied upon.

Now if you forgot about the concept that ‘You exist’ or ‘You are aware’ do you stop existing or being aware?

So, there is a deeper Knowing, there is a deeper Awareness which is independent of anything you think you know. But the mind plays this trump card. It says ‘Can you run your life like this? Can you live your life like this?’ The question itself is false because the one who presumes that they have been running their life does not exist. [Smiles]

So, this is the way of the Sage. That’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] always says ‘I know nothing at all’ and yet in his expression, life flows very beautifully; unresisted. [Smiles] From the apparent play, nobody can ever say ‘Oh, Guruji doesn’t know anything at all’ because if he starts speaking you realize he knows so much; there are beautiful stories and how he is able to express himself. This unattachment to concepts…, as we empty of attachment to notions, still in the outward play. in the expression, pure intelligence can appear.

So, ultimately all Satsang comes down to this. (I know in every Satsang I say something else about that) [Chuckles] All Satsang is about:

What are we attached to?

Which concept do you still feel has meaning?

It’s the same as saying ‘What are you right about?’

All of this is just ever-changing appearance anyway. It’s just like you’re hanging onto one cloud. There is no such thing as the cloud (even physically speaking, it’s just a set of water molecules) there is no entity called cloud. It’s like holding onto one cloud and saying ‘This cloud should go left; this cloud should go right.’ [Chuckles] This is just trying to control life, trying to be right.

Just shine your own light. Look for that which you still feel you are completely right about. Don’t try to push it away, don’t try to resolve, don’t try to fix it. Just shine your light on it. That is enough.

[Silence]

Don’t even be right about that which you were wrong about. Many times, we do contemplation like this and we might end up with ‘knowing’ conclusion like ‘Oh, I was so wrong.’ [Chuckles] But even this is wrong; you are not even right about that.

What is the most obvious thing to you right now? (The most obvious thing.)

[Silence]

That for which you have to put the least amount of effort.

[Silence]

A: What needs least effort or no effort, can we say?

Q: I am.

A: ‘I am.’ He says ‘I am.’ With the least effort; the most obvious.

What are you looking for?

[Silence]

God is Here.

I Am is Here.

I am aware is Here.

Emptiness is the most effortless.

Then, where do you want to go from here?

What effort is worth while?

What can you now gift yourself, which is more than this?

[Silence]

Now, do you need a state? Something to happen?

[Silence]

The fallacy of getting somewhere, of becoming something, even intellectually (experientially, of course, it’s clear; even if intellectually it doesn’t not make sense) …

If God is the ever-present, if truth does not come and go, how can it be that you got left out? [Chuckles] How can it be that God is everywhere but you? ‘God is everywhere but I have to find him.’ Where will you look? Everywhere. [Smiles]

[Reading from chat]: “Father, please explain about the dark night of the soul.”

Now, usually I don’t explain these kinds of things because what happens here is that whatever I end up explaining, [Smiles] half of you start believing that this is what happening to you. Like, if I explain about some energy, you can feel like ‘Oh, this is what is happening to me.’ [Smiles] If I start talking about ‘dark night of soul’ then the mind will come and say ‘Yes, see, this is what is happening to you. You are in that.’ Even those for whom it is not happening, they start picking up this idea that ‘This is what is happening to me and I must be done with this’ or something like that. So, I’ll just share a little bit about it but you don’t have to take it too seriously. [Smiles]

It can feel like, when we are coming to the end of conditioning, when we’re coming into this awakening of the true recognition of who we are, when we’re coming to the point of dropping all that is false, it can feel like everything in the design of this play starts to feel very oppressive and the mind starts interpreting everything in a very, very serious way; in a very, very gloomy sort of way. Everything can start seeming like it is an attack. You feel like there is no peace, there is no joy. Everything starts to feel meaningless in a personal sort of way.

This is a very common occurrence (it is not a prerequisite but it is a very common occurrence) for those who are coming to the end of one chapter and coming to this new chapter. So, it can feel like at the end of this chapter there is this extreme sadness, extreme confusion, extreme lack of understanding, meaninglessness. It is still taken personally so it can feel like the person walks in to this dark night of the soul. But God walks out of it.

The best part about having a Master is that you don’t have to worry about these things. You can keep coming to Satsang and dark night, bright night, dark day, bright day …, you don’t have to worry about any of it. [Smiles] You don’t have to fight any battle. You don’t have to worry about anything at all. All is the Satguru’s to carry. All is your Master’s to carry. That is why you can safely ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam’ the dark night idea. [Guru Kripa Kevalam: Satguru’s Grace]

[Silence]

It is only shared in Satsang sometimes because it tells you not to feel despondent if it is feeling like this. Then, when the term is applied to it, it will feel like ‘Okay, this is part of the natural functioning of this so there is nothing terrible or terribly wrong with me or something which is happening only to me.’ And it can feel like ‘Yes, all these emotions, all these states are coming. But it is not un-natural and I am well taken care of.’

So, if the term gives you some reassurance that it is taken care of, then you can apply the term. Otherwise, safer always is to ‘forget about it.’ [Smiles]

Somebody asked me the other day ‘How do I surrender?’ I said to them ‘Don’t make any conclusions. [Chuckles] Don’t make any conclusions.’ They said ‘Oh, that is surrender? Is that it?’ [Laughs] I said ‘Yes, try it. Try living without conclusions. Live without positions. Live without any stance. Then you see that all of this was a facade anyway. Life has just always been life. ‘What Is’ has always been ‘What Is.’

[Silence]

Empty of notions, empty of positions, empty of all opposites. Forget about everything that can have an opposite. Empty of anything that can have an opposite.

If you feel you have found a truth which has an opposite which was the false, then forget about this truth. This is very important. If you feel like you have found a truth which actually had an opposite which you call the false, then forget about this truth.

The Truth that you are being pointed to in Satsang does not have an opposite. It is the ever- unchanging Truth. It cannot be shaken; it cannot be changed to false.

The Truth (this Truth with a capital ‘T’) it is always True.

So, if there is a sense about ‘Oh, I have something which is true, which was false, and I better hold onto it because it could become false again’ then forget about it.

Forget about right and wrong.

Forget about doership and non-doership.

Forget about duality and non-duality.

Forget about cause and effect.

Forget about me and mine.

Forget about me and others.

[Silence]

Most importantly, forget about everything you think you are right about.