BOOKS BY ANANTA Welcome to Satsang with Ananta

Know that everything that makes you stiff, that makes you heavy, is not natural to You, is not Your original nature. If there is a condition which you are believing about YourSelf which is untrue, it is limiting You.

And one of the primary conditions which we believe about our self (or humanity believes about itself) is this idea that ‘I am limited to a particular appearance.’ And which particular appearance is this? The appearance of this body.

After a point, this identification becomes very conversational. This body identification becomes merely conversational. [Silence] ‘I ate this for breakfast, I want this for lunch’ …, conversational in that way. But if you were to truly ask me (like one child asked me yesterday) ‘How do you spend your day? Or what is your day like?’ I don’t remember clearly what I said but if you were to ask me now I would say:

This state, this waking state, this day, wakes up within Me; I don’t wake up in it. It wakes up within Me. In Truth, I remain untouched by it.

But within this waking state, there also appears this narrator, this voice, which seems to have an agenda, which wants to make Me into one of these appearances in this waking state. It wants to tell Me that it is only some of the sensations (those sensations which I call this body) that are mine or me. And all the other sensations which so clearly appear within Me (within, at least, the space of My perception) it says that they are not-Me.

But it doesn’t leave it at that. It also says that if I do a certain set of things (as this limited object) then these other sensations can become mine. So, that which is completely already mine…, yet when I limit MySelf, the mind wants to play the same game and say ‘If you do this or you do that or you don’t do this as this limited object then something here could become mine.’ You see? After a point, both of these ideas start to seem ludicrous.

I look at MySelf and I See that I find no boundary.

[Silence]

All is Here.

And within all of this, there is the mind which says ‘You’re only this object, this body/mind organism.’ But strangely enough, it doesn’t even stop at that. It also says that ‘This object can own other objects.’ And this, then, is the nature of attachment: first consider YourSelf to be an object and then assign an attribute of ownership to other objects.

And what remains un-investigated for most of us is: What is beyond these perceptions, these objects?

[Silence]

Most of us don’t investigate.

[Silence]

Who is it that witnessed the appearance of this state called the waking state, where there is a world with all of its play of light and sound? Apparently, it is the same one who experienced another state called the dream state in which there was another world just like this; another play of light and sound.

Then who is it that can say that last night I did not have any dreams, it was just deep sleep?

Who is it that experienced even deep sleep?

So, the one that is aware of these states coming and going, can that really be an object within one of these states?

In deep sleep, there is no object. Then what am I?

In dream state, there is another object which I call ‘me’ and it seems as clear as this ‘me’ in this waking state.

So, who is it that I truly am?

So, it is the advice of the Sages that before we can figure out why something is in this state or why something happens to me like this, first we must clarify: Who is this I?

[Silence]

And this is called the path of Knowledge; Jnana Yoga.

But there is something confusing about this term called ‘knowledge’. And those who come to this apparently-direct path, they might find that ‘If I pick up the best concept about myself, that I Am Brahman, the Absolute, or if I can remember the strongest, most potent verses of the Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita and the Bhramasutras, then I will become That …, or I will get the freedom of the Sages.’ Because according to our understanding, it is a path of knowledge after all and ‘This is the way I know things, by picking up concepts about them.’

Then we realize ‘This is futile! I can have the best concepts but when push comes to shove, when the rubber hits the road in this life, then somehow these concepts of Oneness, these concepts of non-separation, the concepts of the Unchanging Self, they seem to be the first to go out the window. All our highest concepts seem to be the first to desert us. So, that cannot be the Truth.

The phrase ‘Aham Brahman Asmi; I Am Brahman, the Absolute’ …, if it is just conceptual, then it does not help.

Then, what is the other way we can know things? If we cannot have a concept of it then we feel like ‘I must at least have a sensory experience of it, a perceptual experience of the Truth beyond concepts.’ So, then we try to look for this Knowledge as an experience. And some of us have spiritual experiences; some can have kundalini, some can have transcendence, some can have all types of samadhis. And then we can feel like ‘Oh, that experience is the Truth.’ But then again, we get frustrated because the Sages have said that ‘The Truth does not come and go.’ But these experiences all come and go. So, then these experiences can also not be the Truth.

There is nothing in your experience that does not have a duration.

Therefore, all comes and goes.

Now what is left?

The greatest concepts have failed and the most pristine even spiritual experiences have failed to get us to That which is the Unchanging.

[Silence]

Who has followed this story so far? [Chuckling]

So, what we’ve come to know is that to conceptualize is not it, and to perceive is not it, what else is there? If you cannot conceptualize the Truth and you cannot perceive the Truth (because we are applying that filter, the filter that ‘If it is changing, it is not the Truth’) then, what is left?

[Silence]

What are we saying? We’re saying that this device [pointing to his head] this mental device cannot do it, and these sensory devices cannot do it; even the devices of the so-called inner perceptions (that which perceives memories, imagination) not even this kind of perception it is. It is not a memory, it is not imagination, it is not a thought, not emotion …, because all of these are changing. So, it cannot be an object of thought, intellect, and it cannot be an object of perception. All objects are gone. You see? Then all objects are gone.

But what remains?

Q: Guru Kripa. [Guru’s Grace]

A: Guru Kripa. [Chuckling] Yes. Actually, she’s absolutely right. Because that is the shortcut of surrender. ‘I cannot find it, Lord. Everything is your problem.’ And for some, this kind of devotional quality comes naturally. Like some children quickly rush back to the mother. But some want to fight it out saying ‘I can do this’.

The Unchanging Ever-Present Awareness, The Is–ness is what is Here, [is what is] left.

Q: I have a lot of sleepless nights and I see that a lot of my brothers and sisters in the Sangha have that experience, too. I was on Facebook this morning and I see one of my sisters talk about it. And along with the sleepless nights and knowing the Truth that you and Mooji have pointed to; that ‘I am life’ and I’m nothing that I could ever think about …, knowing that and having those sleepless nights thinking about the past, possibly beating myself up for the sins I committed that day, just troubled nights, wanting to get it, wanting it to be peace, wanting to not believe the mind, wanting to just observe; but they come up. And I did not want to even bring it to your attention because a lot of times during Satsang, I want to bring things to your attention but then I would be like ‘That’s just the mind, it’s not true, it not that.’ But then I told myself that ‘You call this man your Father. Go to your Father as a child and reveal to him what is going on with you; if this is true.’ So, Father, this is what is going on with me. And I don’t know. In those troubled-night moments, I just want to sit on your lap and I think that. ‘Sit on Father’s lap and be in his Grace.’ And I think about your smile and your light. And sometimes I go sit by your picture or something. And sometime I go play your Satsang. But then I just wonder why does it come? Why does it come? Am I of those people that’s not going to get it? I am earnest. I really want it. I am in Satsang right now, so that’s the evidence, you know? And I want to bring things to your attention, like I said before, but I don’t know if that’s the place because I don’t know if that is giving life to the thought or if I should ‘just be’ or be that bird just watching the other bird. I don’t know, I’m just confused and I want to shut up now. Okay, that’s it!

A: Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Very, very beautiful report with a lot of honesty and no need for special Advaita words or something like that. I enjoy that very much, that ‘These fears can come, these sleepless nights, this worry even about Freedom. ‘Am I really getting it? Or am just fooling myself? What is wrong? Why is it that I am not finding this peace?’ So, this question is very beautiful because it is asked with a lot of openness and integrity.

Is there a persistent message? Or is it just about the seeker identity? Is there usually a message about relationship or money or future, insecurity or something like this? Or does it just keep changing all the time? What happens?

Q: It does change. It’s a lot of that. It’s all the ones you listed. It’s a lot of it; a lot of it. So much to go into. So, it’s not one thing in particular but there is a trend; past relationships, rejection, a lot of self-esteem issues that kind of come up with the parents; stuff that I know that’s not even important. I guess that the irony of it all. Like I am sitting here thinking about all this past stuff, I know it’s dead but I get this tension in my head and it comes up. I am just kind of tired of it. It has been going on for years and I really don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t know nothing else that I can do. I prayed and I am here. So, to answer your question it’s a lot of things that do come up again and again and again but it’s not just one thing in particular. Is that good?

A: Yes, yes, yes. Just feel free. Just be open. Whatever. All response is good, even no response is good. So, no pressure. You don’t have to be any particular way.

Now the thing is that the best thing, the best thing, the best gift you can give to yourself, at this very moment, is to meet yourself empty of all judgement. And it is already true: just Now. And again: it is true Now.

I know that the mind will say ‘But what about that sleepless night? What about all these issues that remain unresolved?’ But these are about the past and the mind wants to use that to also to retain its supremacy in the present moment Now. But can we give this moment to God? Or to your Self? (Whatever term you like to use.)

Q: I would like to say yes. The thing is that I make that same attempt during those troubled times to no result. I try to think what you would actually say to me if during those sleepless nights I could get online and say ‘Father what should I do?’ I feel like you would tell you me ‘Just be. Let it go.’ But it doesn’t satisfy me.

A: So, one is to see if it is possible Now. And (just like you said) many of you tell me this (many of my children tell me this) that ‘I knew Father is going to say this.’ [Chuckles] But also, I know that you will say that ‘I know what Father is going to say.’ [Laughter] This is the thing. So, if you were to humor me (knowing fully well that I was going to say this) if you were to humor me now, would you say that Right Now, it is not possible to just be?

Q: I cannot not be. I do know that.

A: And is it not possible to allow your next thought just come and go? Is it possible? Or no?

Q: Yes.

A: You see? Because this meeting, if it happens even for a moment, even Right Now, it is completely worth it. Even if you don’t get a minute of sleep for the rest of your life, this meeting is worth it. It is not an antidote, it is not a solution. Because the mind will use this as ‘Okay, so if I meet God Now, will that help me get rid of my sleepless nights?’ But no; meeting God is worth it for God itself. Meeting your Self is worth it for the Truth of It Itself.

So, if I made a deal with you ten years ago and I said to you: You will meet the true Lord. You would meet the Lord for one moment; but for this meeting, you have to give up on your sleep for ten years. Would you say ok? Or no?

Q: I would say okay.

A: Yes. I am not saying this is the sacrifice you have to make (or something like that). I am not saying that. I am just saying that: this is your opportunity to meet the greatest Being, the only Being there Is.

Now, I know that this kind of answer can be very frustrating to the mind because it’s like ‘You know, I am struggling! I am just struggling day and night and you are saying ‘Meet God Now’ with no guarantees of the benefits.’ You see? And somewhere, the Father in me (of course) wants to reassure you and say that: there is nothing greater in this world than the holiness of Your Being. There is no problem which this Being cannot overcome. It is only when it considers itself to be something limited, only when it considers itself to be something individual, then this kind of struggle comes.

But that is why I am saying that irrespective of the consequences, irrespective of whether Cad [the questioner from the Sangha] has a sense that he has got it, or he is missing out, or he is not like Guruji or Ananta; none of these things are happening in his life. Even if all of these things were true, would it still be worth it to meet God Now? Or no?

Q: Yes.

A: Yes, you see? This is very good. So, if this is true, nothing can stop this meeting Right Now. There is only one condition to this meeting, which is that you cannot judge and hug God at the same time. [Chuckles] You cannot judge and hug God at the same time.

Q: I don’t get that.

A: Yes, yes, I can elaborate. It is like I say to you: Meet Your Self. Now the mind will start offering you some judgment. ‘Oh, so is this God? Does this mean am I free now? Does this mean I have got it?’ All of these things. Now, if you go with the judgment, then it seems like the meeting becomes irrelevant. But if you allow these judgments to just come and go, All-There-Is is God. And an entire life, an entire life is completely worth it for even one moment of this meeting.

Q: This was one of the times where I want to say to you that as you are pointing me to this meeting, I earnestly, earnestly in my heart try to be there when those moments happen. And like you said, my mind is saying ‘What about your past sleepless nights? You’re going to have them again.’ And I hear you say that this moment with God is worth all the trouble, right, that I feel don’t exist. And I just feel like (I don’t want to waste your time or anything like this but) as you are talking, I hear you but … you don’t experience like it like that. I don’t know your experience but I feel like but I’m like ‘He doesn’t experience anything like that or Gangaji doesn’t experience that or Eli doesn’t experience that.’ And I’m comparing my experience to you guys who are enlightened’s experience. That’s why I am attracted to you guys because I feel like the Truth has broken whatever is not right. And I want that to just break all that stuff that I know is false! …, that I know is not true! …, that I know is not God! You know? When I see you, I know that. I’ve got your picture up here. I see it! And I hear you’all saying [Sir Nisargadatta] Maharaj (mainly) says ‘If you have an earnest heart, it should come.’ I feel like it should be that easy. You’all say it’s easy and I just don’t find it to be easy. Even in your pointing right now, I want to get it and I wanna be one of those people in Satsang that just really feel like they’re getting it and I feel like …, I’ve got it; I mean there’s nothing more intellectual that I can get …, and that’s the discouraging part because you’ve said this and I have heard your point this out. And honestly, I don’t understand what else needs to happen. And you’re right, if I could have a genuine moment with God, I guess it would all be worth it. But when will that moment happen? You know? I even think about your encounter, your famous encounter with Mooji and I just saw …, you just, your body language and everything just let go; just like a freeing liberation! You know? And I don’t want to seek out an experience. I just want the truth. And if an experience is there, I am cool with that, you know? But I just want what we all want! You know? And I know ‘you are myself’ in that but I don’t Know it. It’s just a difference. I feel hopeless. And I don’t mean to back up everything that you’re saying, or anything like that, or disregard it. I’ll be quiet now.

A: And again, don’t feel bad about anything you are saying because it’s a beautiful conversation. It is a beautiful conversation and I truly, truly appreciate this. In my heart, I can feel you. I truly appreciate what you are saying. I can sense your frustration because I was like this. Frustrated! …, when I was reading [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj. I was completely frustrated reading Maharaj because he would keep saying ‘Just stay with the sense ‘I Am’ …, just stay with the sense ‘I Am.’ And I couldn’t find the sense ‘I Am.’ I just couldn’t figure it out! You know? And it was so frustrating! So, I can completely feel you in my heart, my child. Don’t ever feel like what I’m sharing is from a different planet or . . .

So, don’t feel like oh these people, they don’t have this kind of experience, they don’t understand our frustration. I’ve had …, when my business was going through a lot of struggle, I feel like I didn’t sleep for a year or something like that. You see? So, I know this is how it can come and get a hold over you. And the thing is, why I am not guaranteeing any success using what I’m saying is because the guarantee itself can be like the obstacle. You see? The guarantee itself can serve as an obstacle.

But when I’m saying I have full trust in the voice that speaks here …, which, you know, the words are coming up and you will find that it is not possible for peace not to come. But when we make something a prerequisite, that itself seems to block the way. So, that is the reason why I’m not saying your sleepless night will go away because if you have that expectation then that itself the mind will use to make you more sleepless. And the thing is, especially with sleep; the best way to guarantee sleeplessness is to be concerned about sleep. Like so many come to satsang with me and they feel like they get into this vicious circle with their sleep and sleeplessness because it becomes like ‘a thing.’ When we start becoming concerned about sleep then sleeplessness just keeps growing more and more; it’s a vicious circle, then it keeps spiraling.

So, what I want to tell you is that: Right Now, irrespective of what happened on the hot seat with Guruji [When Anantaji came to Moojiji] whatever experience has happened in both of our [Ananta and Cad’s] seeming-lives, we are exactly the same and One. Right Now, there is not one ounce of difference.

You don’t have to believe this. You don’t have to believe this because the mind will come and say ‘I don’t believe this.’ Because it is beyond belief…

What you have to do is (if I can request something) …, don’t be in a rush. Just let’s both stay quiet, for 2 minutes at least. And then after two minutes, you can report.

[Silence, looking into each other’s eyes]

Okay, now say…

Q: All I could think was Father is so beautiful. [Laughing and Smiling] That’s all I could think: Father is so beautiful. And ‘Don’t think.’ That’s all I was thinking. That’s my report.

A: Already, this is so beautiful. Already it is so beautiful because the Father that you’re speaking of, it could be (a part of it could be) commenting on this instrument that Father is using …, but the Father that you’re getting the darshan of is Your own inner light, Your own inner Presence.

And, you know what? If I were to have a sleepless night, you know what I would do with it? I would just ‘be with this.’ You know, there was a time where my faith (everything) was bit shaky so I would just say to myself ‘God …, God…! God.’ And this Presence was always there. This beautiful Father (which is Your own, which is Your own Presence, Your own light) is always there.

Now, the thing is that no human, ever knows what sleep is, or how to go to sleep or how to come out of it. You see? The doctors don’t know, the scientists don’t know; nobody knows. Everyone can present lots of theories, but it is the just the Self playing with Itself. We had another child in the Sangha a few years ago and she used to have this thing where she would go to sleep then she would sleep only two hours and then she would wake up. And then she was so frustrated the next morning. Then she read somewhere that sleep patterns don’t have to be a certain way. Because what was happening with her was she was going to sleep for two or three hours then she was awake for two three hours and when she was going to sleep again for two three hours so it was all over the place like that. And then she saw some YouTube video or something where it said that it’s completely fine; some people have pattern like that and it’s fine. So, you don’t have to worry about it. The body will find a way to take care of itself, to rest itself. Yu don’t have to worry about the coming and going of sleep.

I know that what you’re more concerned about is these oppressive thoughts, this sort of resistance, this sort of thing which seems to have a hold on you. But already you are on the beautiful, beautiful train, you see? You’re on the beautiful Satsang train. I know that these kind of metaphors, they need a childlike innocence to really take them into our heart. And I know that you have this beautiful childlike innocence so I can offer it to you:

Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘Once you board the train, do you have to check every minute: Are you there yet? Am I there? Are we going to the right place?’ You don’t have to do that. So, once you’ve boarded the Guru train …, (and all the names that you took were very beautiful. So, I’m not saying you have to be in this Satsang only. All of the names that you took, they’re completely fine, you can be in satsang with all of us. It is the same light which is shining, the same Satguru Presence which is shining.) …, you’re on the Guru train and everything will be fine.

Because ultimately, I have to say that what really gets in the way is our limited self-concern; our limited self-concern. So, once you put Cad [Questioner’s name] in the train, don’t worry about Cad. Cad is on the Guru train. Cad will get to wherever he has to get to. Now Cad is no longer your problem.

Q: I mean it. I trust you, I trust your words. I will continue to ‘sit on your lap.’ I like to say ‘Who knows what will happen?’ But I feel things will be different. I don’t know; I just feel like things will be different. I won’t expect anything. But I just feel that right now, like things will be different.

A: Very good, very good. Yes, they will be beautiful, they will be different. As long as you’re not giving this to your judgment, your interpretation of ‘What Is’ you will see the beauty that will unfold in your life.

Q: Thank you, Father.

A: So welcome, always. [Smiles] So welcome, always.

freedom, no nothing.

Q: Father, every day we hear this. Why don’t we understand this?

A: Because we don’t give up on the ‘why.’ [Laughs]

Q: It’s crazy! It’s so frustrating, actually!

A: And NOW? [Silent moment] See, there … like: this moment has come. This moment is empty of even that report from the past moment. But now, you want to play with what?
There is something compelling about even this, like trying to resolve it, trying to answer the ‘why.’ It can feel like a compelling addiction. And although we are free moment-to-moment (of it) but it can feel like ‘But…’

Q: Trapped!

A: ‘I’m trapped.’ This story is very compelling, no? …, for all of us in Satsang. ‘But we hear this every day. We’ve been to Satsang with you now for long time and yet, why am I just not getting it?’ But this is not what the Master is saying. (Laughs). In a way, that itself becomes the obstacle.

What is the Master saying?  ‘Meet God Now.’

What is the mind saying? ‘Yeah! We’ve heard this from the Master so many times that we should meet God now, why don’t we do it?’

Get the difference there, no?

Master is saying: ‘Meet God Now.’

And the mind will come and say: ‘Yeah, yeah, I know this, like ‘meet God’ is completely possible but, you know, why don’t I listen then? Why don’t I meet God now?’

Mind is saying: ‘Why don’t I listen? He is saying it every moment but why don’t I listen? So, listen. Meet God now.’

And I know this play. I know this play. Even this seemingly well -intentioned question ‘Why don’t we do it?’ is actually like a distraction from doing it. You know what I mean?

Q: Yeah.

A: Because I have never said that you must contemplate why you are not getting it or why you are not doing it. That is not a guidance provided by me, to ask ‘Why? Why don’t you listen?’ I’m just saying: meet yourself naked Now. Or meet God Now. Unjudged.

You don’t have to worry about why you don’t do it.

Do it. You see?

You don’t have to worry about why you don’t do it.

See, the thing is, we try to resolve it for ‘past me’ or ‘future me’ but the only thing you have is You. Now. The Real You, which is neither past nor future.

Like Cad was saying earlier, ‘Father, resolve it for the one who is not sleeping at night’ … which was last night or tonight, this morning, the one that is going to come. Resolve it for these ones. This, which is here, is fine, in a way. He didn’t say that [Chuckles] but in a way, it can feel like that. ‘Solve it for that guy [past guy] or that guy [future guy]. Here, it is possible for me to meet God Now but what about that guy [past guy] or that guy [future guy]?’ You know what I’m saying? So, don’t be charitable right now. Don’t worry about that one [past one] or that one [future one]. Meet yourself Now. And as you meet yourself Now, you will see that past-Meera, future-Meera, past-Cad, future-Cad, past-all of us, future-all of us, don’t have to be concerned about that at all.

‘Why don’t we do it?’ also has past and future built in. Like ‘I heard you in the past and why am I not still doing it?’ And ‘Will I come to a place where I will do it?’ It is not possible that way. What I am saying is not possible that way. It’s just like [Snap! Clicks his fingers]. It is not like a result of something. It is not something you can keep as an output of something. And it’s frustrating because it can sound very nice when Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘You run out of moves’ and we heard it and feel like ‘Wow! This is what I want. I want to run out of moves.’ But when it comes, it doesn’t feel so good, does it? [Laughs] It feels like ‘Ohhh! So, this is what it looks like?’ Yes, tears can be a part of it, where in you feel like ‘It’s so frustrating, I’m not getting it.’ It squeezes all our doer-ship out of us. In a way, I can even say it squeezes hope out of us, all hope out of us. [Laughs]

Q: Yeah. Full.

A: Yeah, but when this kind of mental hope is squeezed out of us, it doesn’t lead you to a mental hopelessness. It’s a very beautiful thing: beyond hope. All the greatest Fakirs [enlightened Masters] in the world were completely enjoying their hopelessness. I was saying jokingly to someone the other day that ‘What are these tears? The tears are just when our concepts are melting.’ All the concepts are melting over here [points to the head/mind] and they are coming out like this. [Tears]

Q: I hope.

A: Exactly. In a way, of course many, many times I have tried to sugar-coat all of these things for all of you. I try to make it very easy and straight-forward for my children. But, in a way, this process is so destructive that there will be many times that you will not enjoy it. I have to say. There will be many times in Satsang that you will not enjoy it because fundamentally, nobody likes their hopes dashed. Nobody likes their beliefs confronted. It is not an enjoyable process. Nobody likes to truly, truly admit that you don’t know anything. Till there comes a point when you start loving it, that initial confrontation, that initial honesty that ‘I don’t know even what is up or down. I don’t know what is up or down.’ Like I can tell you honestly, I don’t know what is up or down. That’s why I am in awe when some of you report about things because I just feel like ‘Wow!’ [Sangha laughs] I just feel like ‘Wow! Look at them! They are able to report on up, down, grief, happiness, life, yesterday, tomorrow.’ I just look and I can say I don’t know any of this stuff. I can tell you from present experience, I notice one blob is sitting here. His mouth seems to be opening, you know, and closing. Some words seem to be coming out of it and there are other blobs who are sitting around [Chuckles]  but what it is, whether it is truth and what is going on, I don’t know.

Q: But how is it beautiful?

A: Yeah. Maybe you should forget about ‘beautiful.’ Let me use that report as I see it but you don’t make an expectation out of that. Because your idea of beautiful does not conform with mine right now. What is your idea of beautiful?

Q: Good feeling in the heart.

A: No, that is not my idea of beautiful.

Q: What is it?

A: It’s just like, in the wonder of this moment. anything can come. Like, this mouth sitting here can just speak anything. It’s just like one crazy movie, like a roller coaster. You don’t know what is going to come. In this way, this movie is beautiful. Sometimes it’s so unpredictable.  For me, that is beautiful. It is not that only that these chocolate feelings are coming that is beautiful. Sometimes any variety of feeling could arise here and that is part of the wonder, no?

So, for me, that’s what I am saying. Maybe the term is being used differently where you’re saying ‘Beautiful is about some beautiful feelings’ and things like this and I am saying ‘Beautiful in the beautiful unpredictability of this play, the wonder which is so inherent in all appearances.’

Yes, and I have to admit also that I did not find this beautiful. I did not find this beautiful for a long, long period of my life. If somebody said ‘Your entire life is going to be unpredictable’ that would have sounded like very bad news to me [Chuckles] because I wanted to plan, I wanted to have a relationship in this way, a software company in this way, the right amount of money in the bank, all of these things also. So, if somebody said ‘Oh! My life is so beautiful because I can’t tell what is up and what is down.’ I would have been like ‘Shut up!’ [Laughs] ‘I don’t want this kind of beautiful. I want to know what up is what down is!’ So, there is a particular phase where this doesn’t make sense in terms of why it is beautiful. Like, I take this example: Is a movie beautiful if you know every scene already? Or is it beautiful because it’s full of surprises and wonder and at every turn, you don’t know what can happen?

Often, we share this story of the thousand-handed monster, so all these hands, these weapons, what are they actually? What are they? These are all the things we think we know. [Chuckles] These weapons that make us suffer are only all of the things we think we know. Without that show me a way in which you can play this game.  And I was very grateful one day while I was over there [refers to his London trip] and I just logged into facebook and there was a quote about knowing and true knowing and this lady, she said very beautifully (and I am paraphrasing) she said ‘It takes a very deep honesty, it takes a very deep integrity to admit that I don’t know; takes a very deep honesty to look within and really admit that I really don’t know any of this.’ And I appreciated that comment very much because it is like that. It is (it can be) scary; it can seem like full confusion. It can seem like you are lost to let go of a mental knowing; the mental picture of this world and what is happening.

What happens is that as you come to a very naked insight about yourself, you try to hold that; to know that. We try to conclude that this is it or not it; we try to conclude that this is freedom or bondage.

Now, the thing is, this mental device, this tool called the mind, does not come close to capturing Reality in any way. So, the attempt itself is flawed. [Chuckles] Yesterday I read a quote from Sri Siddha Rameshwar Maharaj. He said ‘To try to know is ignorance.’ [Chuckles] ‘To try to know is ignorance.’ But the thing is that even the ‘I don’t know’ should not become a ‘knowing.’

Another child, she met me after a long time and she said ‘Father, I have not been in Satsang for quite some time because I have been busy with work and various other things but I just feel like Satsang is always with me anyway; so, is that true? Or am I hanging onto some delusion?’

I said to her ‘Actually, no position is valid’. [Chuckles] No position is valid because again we are reporting as this blob of bubble gum. [Chuckles] This big blob of bubble gum is just floating around and we consider it to be me and we say ‘This one is doing this because this is like that’ but we are just almost like bubbles floating in space. Imagine if bubbles starting taking individual positions like doer-ship and ownership ‘Oh, why have you collided with me?’ [Laughs] …, this kind of thing. And then some bubbles are getting bigger and bigger and they feel like they will come to a point where they will become so big that they will become everything (and these kinds of things). But floating bubbles have nothing to do with the Reality of You. But this is so deeply conditioned in us that ‘This is me’ and therefore the activity, the movement of these bubbles, convey some sort of bondage or freedom. But we don’t know any of that. To try to represent Reality through a mental filter is ignorance. This is what [Sri Siddha Rameshwar] Maharaj would have meant.

We have not ever been able to represent even phenomena accurately (like nobody can truly represent a sunset conceptually); forget about love and things like these but even phenomenal appearances (like a flower). So, if concepts cannot capture even this appearance which comes and goes, how will they capture That which is the Unchanging witness of all of these?

So, then true knowledge or true Jnana must be That which is not capturable in any concept.

Now, where do you have to go to find This which you cannot capture in a concept? Where does one have to go to find That which is Un-label-able; the true Knowingness which is beyond any concept? [Silence] Most of you will say ‘Right Here. You just have to look within.’

All these clues are there for you:

Find that which witnesses everything.

Find that which is Unchanging.

Find that which is beyond all notions, beyond all qualities.

All these clues are there and by now, you should be able to say ‘This is how I come to it.’ But what keeps us in trouble often is that we want to keep it in some way. We want to keep it in some conceptual way or in some perceptual way. Now, you cannot keep this. So, if you cannot keep it, what does the Sage’s advice on abiding mean? ‘Abide as the Self.’ At some level ‘abide as the Self’ only means ‘Don’t be stupid.’ [Chuckles] ‘Don’t be stupid’ means what? Don’t consider yourself to be something that you are not. I don’t mean them to sound like harsh words or something. [Chuckles] Just saying that as a Father, I have to say sometimes ‘If you have everything, if everything is dancing in service to Your Truth but you still consider yourself to be a tiny coconut then I can say ‘Please abide in your Reality. Why do you believe this thing about yourself?’ [Chuckles] And the mind will come and say ‘I have to; I just have to!’ [Chuckles] No, you don’t. In fact, you can’t really do it. Like if I say ‘Carry your conditions with you now’ …, you can’t do it. ‘Bring whatever is bothering you from this moment to this moment; bring it with you.’ …, you can’t do it. It does not come naturally. So, allow only that which comes naturally and don’t know or ‘not know’ anything else. [Chuckles]

I was saying (I don’t know whether it was in broadcast) but I was saying the other day ‘What if I told you that everything that I am saying right now is neither true nor false? [Chuckles] If I told you that everything I am saying to you right now is neither true nor false, what will you do with it?’ [Chuckles. Looks around] Because your mind only works in this way, either assent or dissent; yes or no. Now I am saying ‘It’s neither true nor false.’ Now, you don’t know whether it is true what I am saying [Laughs] or it is false what I am saying. So, you can make no position about it. You can try and grapple with this if you want. So ‘neither true nor false’ …, is it true? No? But that would make it false. It is not that either.

[Reading from chat]: “Just listen to bird song and enjoy it.”

This is good. Exactly …, but without concept of ‘the what’ like ‘the bird song’ or the concept of ‘enjoyment’ because the minute we start to conceptualize it, the true joy is sucked out of it in a way. Although ultimately, we have to say ‘Even this play of conceptualization, the Consciousness does for its own joy.’ But now it’s leading itself to a greater joy.

What is the idea the you’re not willing to demolish; not willing to throw away? You will not be able to sneak this one through. That’s why I use the example of trying to board an airplane with one foot on the ground. It doesn’t feel like fun. It doesn’t sound like fun, does it? But this is what some of you are doing to yourself. [Silence] And maybe there is something for me to learn in this as well because I have always been a bit derisive about ‘Step one, step two, step three, step four’ …, you know, take the steps and then climb onto the airplane. Maybe there is some sense in that.

I am happy to help all of you look and to See. Look at what you are holding onto. [Silence] The natural sense here is to keep reminding you that: Whatever it might be, can you show it to me Now? If it is not present Now, then is it truly so compulsive that I have to take it along? ‘I have to board the flight with my ideas.’ Is it so compulsive? [Silence] Some fear, some anxiety can come because we’re used to our feet being on this egoic ground. We feel like ‘At least this I know. I know my grievances, I know my resentments, I know my relationships, I know my small areas of joy.’ But what I’m saying is to let go of all that you know. Your question will come: ‘But at least can I keep the joy?’ (or at least our idea of what is happiness or joy). But I’m saying ‘Come, come, come to the oasis. This, what you call joy, is just a mirage.’ Leave everything. Leave everything behind.

In a way you can’t blame the desert wanderer also because he has hung on to the small water bottle with a few drops. When you say ‘No, leave the bottle behind; you’ll be fine’ It can seem a bit rough. But I want to tell you that your idea about the world is not true. It is not the Real world. This is just a sound-and-light-show which will get over soon. Then what will you have?

Many millions of forms of Masters have come and they have gone. They have shown you that the true Master is within. It was a Rabbi (whose name I’m forgetting) who said ‘Receive with simplicity everything that life gives you.’ Receive with Simplicity everything that life gives you. What does this mean? What is this simplicity? For that, we can look at what is complex. The Sage Ashtavakra told us that ‘The mind is complex, let it go.’ It is only without this device called the mind that there can be simplicity (openness). But if you receive this with the filter of ‘what should be; what should have been’ then that is to not have received simplicity. They say some beautiful words. ‘Openness.’ What does it actually mean? Does it mean that ‘I will remain open as long as it suits me, as long as it helps me because through openness I will get something’? Is that our idea of openness? Is ‘Just receive this simplicity’ also a plan to get somewhere?

We say ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam’. What does it mean? What does it mean to you? [Silence] Is it ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam as long as Guru Kripa helps me?’ [Silence] This word ‘Kevalam’ means ‘Only’. And if ‘Only the Master’s Grace Is, only God’s Grace Is’ then to receive it with simplicity is easy; to receive it with openness is straightforward.

But we’re carrying this ‘me’ in our pocket.

What is it? Maybe we can use this time today to really look:

What is Here?

Who Am I?

If everything that has come into our lives goes; if everything that has come goes, then what would remain? Because I can tell you that everything that has come will go. So, coming and going is the nature of the world.

What never came?

What has always been?

How long will we keep something that we think we want?

I have been calling this body a temporary lease. [Chuckles] How long will this stay? Even this Ananta; just a few years, no? [Chuckles] But Ananta is also someone who came therefore, he will also go.

What are you left with?

All forms (ALL forms) will leave. That is the nature of this play.

Is it possible for you to explore this and see whether you truly want something that does not come or go? Do you believe that idea of ‘it still has to come’? [Smiles] That’s why my pointing has been to always to check on that which has always been.

Is this a futile search?

Is this a utopian idea which is accessible only for the rare one?

Why must it be that way?

If something has always been, it must be Here Now.

So, what’s the difficulty then?

This much we can agree on?

If something has always been, it must be Here Now.

That is agreed? [Smiles]

So then, what is the difficulty?

I also clarified that it is not to be found the way other things are found. Like you can find a location by going somewhere, you can find an object or you can even find some emotion. You might say ‘I met this one and I found love. I met another one and I found anger.’ [Chuckles]

But the clues are all there. Whatever else might come and go, there is an ‘I’ which remains.

Now this ‘I’ is super-confusing. [Chuckles] It is super-confusing because we have used it a certain way. And we have invested so much in using it a certain way. And in some sense what is happening in Satsang is completely destructive to this ‘I’. Because everything we have invested in this ‘I’ is coming to zero. Let’s make no mistake about that.

There is nothing you can carry which you think you own if it is truly in your heart that you want freedom; not a single blade of grass you can put in your backpack. You have to be completely empty, completely open, completely naked.

This is more than airport security where you might feel like ‘If I can hide something, I can take it through.’ [Chuckles] This detector detects all your investments that you are not willing to give up on. It will keep beeping every time you cross. [Chuckles] And we all know how frustrating it is to go back to the metal detector at the airport wondering ‘But I don’t have anything’ yet some coin comes out from somewhere. [Chuckles] This is what is frustrating you as you go around and around on this detector. But all you have to do is really get empty. Not even ‘get empty’ …, just don’t pick up a notion about yourself; don’t pick up any idea. It is not as tough as it sounds. [Chuckles]

One thing consistently I have been saying for five years is this that ‘It is not as tough as the mind itself makes you believe.’ Nothing can actually force You; nothing can force Consciousness to pretend.

We make a prayer that ‘May I be rid of this me.’ The Master says that ‘It is Done.’

You say ‘Rid me of this me’ and the Master says ‘It is Done.’

How do you receive this?

This part is very important.

All of you have made this prayer ‘Rid me of me.’

The Master has said ‘It is Done’.

Will you receive this in the same tired skepticism?

Or is there at least a little possibility that what the Master is saying is true?

Will you still wait for evidence to prove the Master’s words?

Will you continue to judge yourself, to interpret yourself, in a limited way?

So, let’s not say ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam’ if we mean ‘Me, me, me, Kevalam.’

Most often I say: Don’t believe anything I am saying because the Truth is truly empty of all belief and I don’t want to give you a new belief system. But today, I also feel to tell you that it might be better to believe me than to believe that tormentor in your head.

So, if you could just even believe me when I say that ‘You are Free’ it is better than the garbage your mind is peddling. If you believe me that ‘All is the Satguru’s Grace’ and don’t believe anything else, then that is enough for me actually. Is it at least worthy of your belief? Or no? If you say ‘Okay, I cannot see it for me. I’ve looked and somewhere can’t compute this; can’t comprehend this Seeing’ …, till then, you believe one thing. Anything that you hear in Satsang, you believe that one thing which appeals to you. It will still be better than your current belief system. It could be one word [for example] ‘open.’ It could be one phrase ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam.’ It could be one pointer ‘What comes and goes is not real.’ You are immersed in these all day; just pick up one. [One word, phrase or pointer said in Satsang]

Or is the trap so deeply embedded now that not even one thing is getting through? So, today I am not even saying ‘Let go of your belief.’ I am saying: Believe; but believe something that is worthy of your belief. Find that one thing and hold on to it for dear life.

Otherwise, like Laxman and Vasistha, we keep meeting life time after life time. Different situations, different events, different worlds, different times; the problem is always the same. Read the oldest scriptures, the problem is the same. Read talks with Ramana [Maharshi] more than 150 years ago, the problem is the same. You watch Guruji’s [Mooji’s] Satsang (which is happening live) and the problem is the same. And there is nothing that stops it from continuing it like this, unless You stop.

Just stop. Don’t ask how to stop, where to stop: Just stop.

If to ‘Be’ you needed a concept, then of course it would be different. [Chuckles] If your Existence was dependent on what you were thinking, then it would be different. Then I would say ‘Okay, of course, let’s find the best thoughts and create a temple to them.’ [Smiles] But what is your actual experience? Your Being is Here Now and the mind tries to catch up with You. This is always like this: Your Being is here first [Chuckles] and the mind tries to catch up with You. And when you identify yourself with the mind that is why it seems like you will struggle because this mind never catches up. [Chuckles] You are Here Now. ‘Now, mind can come; now, mind can come’ but You have already gone. So, it is struggling to keep up with You. But when you identify as if You are that, then it seems like you are struggling.

So, when my Master said ‘The knowing messes it up and it’s never true anyway; just Be’ this is what he meant. What do you need to know to Exist? If you forgot everything, would you also go? And I am not even talking about the body. Would your Existence collapse if you forgot every concept? Or is your experience exactly contrary to that …, which is, if you are empty of concepts, you are in a space of wonder?

That’s what happens when you see a mountain or a sculpture or hear a beautiful piece of music; in that moment you are empty of conceptualizing and that moment is so full of wonder. Why do you think we go to these tourist attractions? It is not to meet a concept of something. It is to get that taste of that moment when you are empty of any concept. Otherwise, what’s the point of a big mountain? What’s the big deal? If you give it to your mind, what is it? It is just matter, stones, lime stones, some other stones; all these stones together. [Chuckles] What’s the big deal about it? It’s just when you come across it as something new and in that moment your mind does not have an idea of it or a notion of it; but for those who live around a mountain, it is not a big deal. Even if it is the highest mount mountain; Everest. To the people in Nepal who are living around it, it is just a mountain.

So, this notionless Existence…, is it even possible? Or it’s just another notion itself? Is it a utopian ideal; impossible to achieve but okay to talk about? [Chuckles] Is that your experience? All of us, at some point or the other, every day experience ourselves in this way, empty of any concept about ourselves. And nobody ever comes with a report saying ‘I suffered in that moment.’ Has anybody ever come to you complaining that ‘I was empty of concepts and that was really bad; I don’t want to suffer in that way’? No. [Chuckles] You’re always complaining about the times in which you had a notion about something. It might seem like ‘I’m complaining about my relationship and my friendship and my money’ (whatever) but actually we are complaining about what we believe. It’s never about a ‘thing’. It is always about a belief, a notion. Why? Because at the root of all of these notions is what? Is an idea of ‘me.’ [Chuckles] At the root of these notion is the idea of ‘me.’

And this idea in itself is miserable. [Chuckles] The idea in itself is miserable. In fact, it is the only misery …, the idea of ‘me.’ And you cannot pick it up in your pure perception. What do we mean by pure perception? Un-contaminated by any idea of what you are perceiving.

That’s why I have started these days asking everyone to look around without labels. As you look around without labels, you will see that you cannot find a ‘me’ and an ‘other’ there. Initially, it might feel a bit strange because you might feel like ‘Oh, I am so used to labeling.’ So, let the labels come. I am just saying don’t buy into them. You will find that as you are in this pure perception, empty of conceptual labels, you will find that it’s impossible to have this notion of ‘me’ or ‘mine’ …, impossible to have a notion of wanting something or being averse to something; impossible to have an idea of separation.

This is extremely good news! [Chuckles] This is extremely good news because otherwise you might feel like ‘I have to fix something in my life’ or you might feel like ‘I might have to fix something in my body’ or ‘I have to fix something in my energies.’ None of this you have to do. And in fact, you cannot do; you don’t have the tools for it. [Chuckles] To meet God, you don’t have to go anywhere. To meet God, we don’t have to go anywhere. What better news is there in the world? [Chuckles] If to meet God you don’t have to go anywhere, can there be any better news? [Chuckles]

Or this has to be a lie. One of the two things, no? Either God is Here …, or God is a lie. Both cannot be true. It cannot be that ‘God Is’ but ‘God is not Here’ because then what kind of God would that be? The God which comes and goes is not a worthy God. [Chuckles]

So then, there must be a misunderstanding about ‘What Is?’ So, ‘What Is?’ There must be a misunderstanding about that. Because everything, all the Sages are saying, all the scriptures are saying that ‘What Is’ is God, is Being, is Self.

But what are we believing? What are we believing? What Is?

There must be a belief in our personal existence, in a personal identity. This is what Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] meant when he said: ‘I Am’ … playing as ‘I am something’ … is the notion of this individualized Consciousness or separate Consciousness. And this ‘something’ is always an idea. It is never even an appearance; not ever a thing or an event It is always an idea.

So, to meet God all you have to do is not have an idea. Don’t have any idea, which is what I mean by ‘Don’t know.’ And it occurs to me that I just said that there not much to say about ‘Don’t know.’ [Chuckles]

So, fundamentally, wherever we might wander or in whichever way we may look (whether we look in terms of Self-inquiry, whether we look in terms of surrender or we look in terms of any spiritual practice) we are coming to this point of leaving this ‘I Am’ as ‘I Am’ …, un-attached, un-defined to any idea which is ‘something.’ Not ‘I am something.’ Just ‘I Am.’

[Reading from the chat]: “Father, this ‘I don’t know’ feels very spacious and restful and the feeling here is to hear about it again and again.”

That is good. [Smiles] See the thing with ‘I don’t know’ is that there is not much to speak about it.

So, basically, what am I saying? I am saying that the Truth (with the capital ‘T’) cannot be known though the mental device, through some sort of conceptual process. The true Truth cannot be known in this way. But that Truth, when you are not in the mental process, is always Known, is automatically apparent to You when you are not conceptualizing a mental knowing.

This emptiness which is spoken about is a conceptual emptiness. When you are empty of all concepts, all knowing, mental knowing, then the Truth is apparent.

And it is true for all of you. [Smiles] Now. It is not a journey or a process. The only journey, in fact, is a journey of forgetting …, this journey of letting go of what we believe to be true and coming face to face with the naked Truth, which is always Here.

Because all that we know, even if it feels helpful initially, becomes a source of conflict, becomes a source of clinging, of suffering. It is an attempt to fill the ocean in the coconut. Because that True Knowing, True Knowingness, is so beyond anything that we can conceptualize that the attempt itself seems to be the obstacle. The attempt to know the Truth, in a sense, then becomes like the finger that blocks the moon.

[Reading from the chat]: “Father, there seems to be a drive of some sort behind this ‘me.’ Like this one is the main character and something is willing it or driving it. Yet there is no ‘me’ which is central. All is being driven by this power or will. It’s just coming in this way now. Anything in this? Or just another spiritual concept?”

You see, many have explored this. What is this? What is this primal will; the drive to know, the drive to give meaning? Many have called it ‘the will to power’ because some have said it’s all about trying to exert some sort of individualistic power on life; a will to own, a will to power, a will to project. All of these things have been looked at.

Now, the best news is that the ‘me’ is basically a concept or a collection of concepts. And you can never start a moment with a concept. Many of us are looking for shortcuts and this is the shortest cut possible. It’s like if you ask somebody on the road ‘What is the shortest way to get to MG road?’ And they say ‘You are already on MG road.’ And you say ‘But is there a shorter way?’ That would be silly, no? Isn’t it?

So, you want the shortest way to Truth, and I’m saying, ‘You are the Truth’ and you say ‘Is there a better way?’ (I’m not saying you are asking that; I’m saying generally.) [Chuckling]

This is the shortest, because we want the quickest, fastest way to freedom. But I’m saying: You Are Free. Can we have a quicker way? Like Laura was saying yesterday ‘But is there any place that can give me that?’

But You Are That!

There is no way to give it to you because You Are That.

Now it is possible that you are on MG road but you believe that you are some other place; on Palace road or something. It’s possible. Consciousness has given Itself this power to delude Itself, in a way. So, Satsang is just the coming to the end of this Consciousness deluding Itself.

Now, if you feel that ‘I’m not there yet’ or ‘I’m not That’ then what must ‘That’ look like or ‘there’ be? Because to even say ‘I’m not there yet’ or ‘I’m not That’ we must have an idea of what ‘there’ or ‘That’ is. And what if all of those are false? Like this idea of ‘uncontainable bliss!’

Q: I have the idea that I won’t connect to my body.’

A: Or the idea that ‘I won’t connect to my body.’ What is it? Like the body should just be floating? But it is.

Q: Yeah, and it is, actually.

A: You got it? [Laughter in the room] How are you connected to your body? Okay, let’s deconstruct this. Which is the connection point between you and the body?

Q: It’s just a thought.

A: It’s just a thought, therefore not real. What is your real connection point with the body?

Q: I don’t know.

A: That we don’t know whether we are connected or unconnected is much better than the feeling that ‘I am connected and I want to be disconnected.’ You know what I’m saying? I’m saying: to not know whether there is connection or not is much better than having a presumed idea that ‘I must be connected in my body and I must leave that’ or something like that. Isn’t it? So, this ‘I don’t know’ is already very good.

So what else would define Freedom? [Silence] Like if you were to ‘get it’ then what would that be like? What would be the evidence?

You can’t say ‘I have to be able to speak a certain way’ because all the Masters speak differently (and different stuff also). So, there’s no consistency in the pointing also. Then what could be the other criteria?

Q2: This ‘me’ should vanish.

A: This ‘me’ should vanish, okay.

So, One! Two! Three! … vanished!

[Makes a gesture of chopping]

Am I lying? [Chuckling] I’m not lying. It vanished. So, then?

[Silence] [Looking at sangha]

Q2: I don’t know. [Laughter in the room] It’s like when you hear Guruji’s [Sri Mooji’s] story that suddenly the sense of identity [is gone] …

A: But have you heard the exact same story form ten others?

Q2: No.

A: So, everyone will have their unique way or unique expression of Consciousness.

Q2: It’s like when you bring us to that point of just Being, just the Is-ness (like now, five ten minutes ago) then it just felt like ‘I’ve always been this.’

A: And without that conclusion? Without that conclusion, is there a ‘me’ that is bringing you to something?

Q2: So, so it feels like I’ve always been this so this can’t be IT.

A: See, this is where you get into conclusions.

Q2: Yes.

A: You’re having the insight into something which is ‘in-conclusion-able’.

Q2: Un- conclusion- able.

A: Un- conclusion-able. [Chuckles] Okay, un-conclusion-able. [Laughter in the room] That’s what you’re tasting.

Then leave the conclusion about it. Then it cannot be attacked, you see?

The thing is that we want to gather the photocopy. These days what happens is you go to Paris, (like last year we went) or you go anywhere and the thing is that everywhere you go, you hear ‘Take a photo, man. Take a photo.’ Wherever you go. ‘Take a photo.’ So, you got used to collecting the photo instead of enjoying ‘What Is.’ So, when we have an insight of the Truth which is always Here Now, you want to capture it as a photocopy. Like ‘What does this mean? This means that He brought me to the Truth or this means that I’ve always been This.’ But this is not true. It’s neither true nor not-true. It’s just nothing! It’s just like air.

Q2: The statement?

A: The conclusion, yes. [Silence] No conclusion you can make about YourSelf, including ‘I have always been This’ is true.

Q2: No, it’s because you said ‘What is it that you expect to happen for you to believe that you already are the Truth?’

A: Yes, okay. So, say again? You said that this ‘me’ should go away. I said: ‘One! Two! Three! … Gone!’  Then you said what?

Q2: Then I said about Guruji and you said ‘Not everybody will have that same experience.’

A: Yes, in the outward play it will not happen to everybody that the Master says ‘One! Two! Three! … Gone!’ and it goes. Another one will be shouted at, another one will be molly-coddled; all different ways. This is just the outward play of the story.

Q2: As I was saying, when we stay as In-ness…

A: Okay, who can stay as Is-ness? Let’s deconstruct everything.

Q2: There’s no ‘me’ who is going to stay…

A: Exactly, then? Leave Is-ness. The only thing you can do is put on masks.

Q2: Make a story about.

A: Make a story about. At best, the only thing you can do is make stories. It’s got you a lot of fun, making stories? [Laughing] That’s why Consciousness must be doing it. Is it done with it? Or no?

Q2: Can I surrender?

A: That’s also a story

Q2: Can I surrender the story, the need for story?

A: Surrender the surrendering of the story.

Q2: Okay, surrender the surrendering…

A: Because you’ve surrendered the story a few times now.

Q2: Many times.

A: ‘Surrender the surrender-er’ as Guruji would say.

Okay, your surrender is for ten minutes? Ten hours? Ten days? Ten years? Ten lifetimes? Your feeling is that it is what? Forever? Or no?

Q2: The feeling is …

A: What is the intent you carry in your heart when you say ‘I surrender’?

Is it like ‘I surrender, boom! [Puts his hands up in the air] That’s it, man!’

Or is it like ‘I surrender but, you know…, you never know…’

Q2: It’s a bit like that. But I want to surrender the surrender-er

A: Like ‘ka boom!’  It’s blown to bits; the surrender-er.

[Silence]

It can seem like a self-destruct button but it is only ego-destruct.

The minute you pick up an idea about it, that idea can be attacked. You say ‘I am free now’ then the idea can be attacked. This freedom can be attacked because the next idea might come ‘Oh, when I leave the room; when I’m not in your Presence…’ All these ideas can come. But empty of this notion of attaching something to ‘IS’ (What IS just is) …, if you attach something to it, even the idea of freedom, then it has an opposite, bondage. Therefore, it is attack-able.

Is it making sense what I am saying? If it is conceptual, it is always attack-able because it has an opposite. So, if you claim any concept as ‘you’ then it will always be under attack because it is just a concept and every concept has an opposite.

Can you draw a claim to any concept, in your natural-ness Right Now? This is the best part! Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] would say ‘I’m not sprinkling any magic powder on you. It just IS.’

There is a bit of a struggle, which I can tell in your eyes. And this is a very primal sort of need to derive some meaning out of what we are discovering in the Now. ‘What conclusion can I make because of this?’ You know, like that. The need to conclude is very, very primal, in a sense. And this is what this de-addiction center is for. [Laughs] The need to conclude is what the addiction is about. This de-addiction center (which has a fancy name called Satsang) is to take us away from this; the need to define, need to conclude, need to get something.

So, as you’re spotting this, you notice that, just Now (although the energetic support might be available to you in Satsang) every Now is actually like this.

You have never left the Self.

But you have the power to imagine, as if you have. You have the power to believe, as if you have. Otherwise, just shining the light of true knowledge on it would not be enough. Like I say: Jnana Yoga would not work. If actually a physical process of bondage had happened and then something physically deconstructive has to happen then only we would say Hatha Yoga or some physical thing has to work. But because the rope has never become the snake (it is just an idea, a belief) then to see it truly for what it IS is enough. No push-ups are needed. No push-ups are needed if you can stay with your insight about ‘What Is.’ If you go to your inferences about ‘What Is’ and if you go to your ideas of judgments about ‘What Is’ then obviously, it might seem like there is confusion, there is conflict, there is suffering.

So, this ‘I don’t know’ means to remain empty of any idea because the idea cannot capture You. No idea can represent You. Not even the idea of Self or Awareness. These are, at best, pointers. But then these can also become labels that we hold on to egoically.

But if you ‘don’t know’ then you ‘do Know.’

You see?

If you ‘don’t know’ then you ‘do Know.’

[Chuckles]

‘That’ …, without the ‘what.’

If you don’t know ‘what’ then you do Know ‘That.’

[Laughs and laughter in the room]

So, if you don’t know ‘what’ then you Know ‘That.’

[Laughs and laughter in the room]

But if you know ‘what’ then ‘That’ seems to get clouded.

It’s not just riddles. [Chuckles]

If you know ‘what’ then ‘That’ seems to get clouded

If you don’t know ‘what’ then all you Know is ‘That’.

If this was not true, then the Truth would not be Here and apparent.

See, the rope is the rope. It doesn’t need a judgment that it is a rope. But to think of it as a snake, to imagine it to be a snake or to infer it to be a snake, it needs a concept of ‘snake.’ Just like I keep saying [Picks up a glass of water in his hand] I don’t need to know the concept of glass or water, just like an infant does not know the concept of mother or milk to drink. So, in the same way, life is functioning. But that which we claim to know is not helping. It is just creating this idea of ego, of individuality.

So, your moments without suffering are always those moments in which you don’t know. (Unless you make a notion about the ‘don’t know’ itself and then it’s like ‘Oh! I don’t know, man!’ Don’t even know that you don’t know.)

Q: Father, it’s more of an impulse of something, to figure out something that is not real.

A: Yes. Exactly. Yes, yes. This is the impulse; this impulse that you call the ‘need to assign meaning.’ The need to assign meaning is how our mental knowing-ness represents itself. Like ‘Okay, now I had a very good Satsang. Does this mean that I am free?’ This impulse to make a conclusion, to give meaning, is this thing which we feel like will help us because then ‘At least then can I confirm now whether I am free or not?’ or ‘Freedom is always here? Or not?’ You know, something. And we see that this can shake a bit. But if you can just leave it shaking and not feed the addiction withdrawal symptoms, [Chuckles] not feed the addiction, it will not seem like withdrawal symptoms after a while.

Q: And even this impulse to know something is always like a ghost; like an adventure of a ghost. And in my experience, in any situation present, there is something related to this false ‘me’ and there is a natural impulse to look for these parameters.

A: Exactly. I like what he said very much. It’s like the advisor to the ‘ghost-me.’ [Chuckles] This kind of meaning, of finding meaning from the mind, is like the mind is an advisor to this ‘ghost-me’ …, which is never true. That’s why I call the mind what? Unsolicited advice on how to suffer. [Laughs] If you want unsolicited advice on how to suffer, it’s always available. [Laughter in the room] Free of charge. The charge itself is suffering.

That’s why we never need to actually confront someone with saying ‘You’re being so mind-y, you’re going to suffer from it.’ Because being mind-y is suffering enough. You never need to add any additional punishment to anyone who is being mind-y. To be mind-y itself in that moment is hell. Why would you want any more punishment on top of hell? You see? Isn’t it? So, we must not get into this Advaita thing that ‘Oh! I’m being so empty of mind, but you are being very mind-y’ because they are suffering already. They’re in hell. You don’t want to keep reminding them or wish any ill on them if somebody is being very mental. They’re already suffering from hell.

So, the attitude which is most recommended (if there is such a thing) is to have compassion for them. To have compassion for them. It’s almost like, what did the Buddha say about anger? (Any Buddhists here?) [Chuckles] You’re punished not for your anger but by the anger itself. (I’m paraphrasing.)

So, picking up a notion is punishment in itself. It doesn’t have to lead to … [something like punishment]. It can feel like ‘Oh, it will lead to…’

We also say in Satsang that inevitably the ‘me’ is going to be followed by an ‘ow.’ But the ‘me’ itself is suffering enough, actually.

Q: It says ‘You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.’

A: By your anger itself.

Q: And then there is another one that he says. ‘Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.’

A: [Laughs] This is a nice one. Thank you.

Q: Father, can you speak a little bit about reincarnation?

A: Usually I speak very little about these things. Because they are fine in their own way but when we come to really this recognition of Reality then who is here to reincarnate?

Is my next reincarnation the dream that I will have tonight?

Yes. You see?

But am I reincarnating just as the one body/mind character in that, who seems central in the story?

Or am I incarnating as the entire dream?

I am reincarnating as my entire dream, isn’t it?

Because all of us will admit (at least about the dream state) that the entire dream is within us; just a projection of our Being.

So, I have to say, at some level (although I know the question might not have been meant in that way) I have to say that this entire world is my incarnation. This Existence with all of this is my incarnation. So, the One who is nodding her head like a few miles away is also Me in the space of my Being, the One that is moving these long-limbed fingers [pointing to His own fingers] is also Me. So, the speaking of this, the hearing of this, the ‘all of this’ is within my Being.

So, unless I make a boundary within this incarnation and say that ‘I have incarnated as only this’ (which itself seems flawed to me) …

I can say ‘Okay, this one seems to have some centrality in this movie’ because everything seems to have this visual perspective (or something like that). Without giving it this centrality, our notion of reincarnation changes.

So, what is incarnating?

I wake up this morning, the waking state is here, within which an entire Universe seems to play. I am only perceiving what is my current experience but this perception has unlimited potential. So, every morning a Universe incarnates within MySelf, within My Being, and every night it seems to go, to dissolve into MySelf.

And also, if I were to say karma a bit differently, I would say that everything seems to merge back into some sort of a neutrality. So, there is this seeming-play of opposites in this world of duality which appears but it all seems to neutralize into the nothing-ness. The seeming-path it takes to play as that something-ness and nothing-ness is like karma, in a sense. I know the traditional definition is ‘What goes around, comes around’ or What you do is what you will have to experience’ (and all these kind of things) …, but for all of that, I need an identity.

So, to put it very simply, karma operates when I have an idea of individuality. Karma operates when I have an idea of individuality. And for you, I don’t want to show you that. For somebody who might come deeply ingrained in the notion of individuality and it might seem like it is too soon to share something like that and they say ‘Father, should I do good things or bad things?’ I would say ‘Do good because then good would come to you.’ But the reference point (when I am referring to that) is different than what I am speaking to you about now in Satsang.

So, when people have examined this over centuries and centuries (that what goes around does seem to come around) when we identify as ‘someone’ then it has been quantified almost, in the sense that you will face the fruits of what you sow. But all of this needs for there to be the notion that ‘I am something’ (individualized Consciousness). But once that is taken away…

Why is it said that ‘To come to the Truth is the end of all your karma’? It does not mean that ‘Oh, the body will not experience now certain things’ or something like that. It only means that because the sense of individual doership is gone, then also the sense of individual experiencer-ship is gone. Then what difference does it make if somebody was rude to me now? Then I am the One actually being rude to MySelf. And for that One to face the consequences of bad behavior, how does it help Me? So, a part of Me is bad to another part of Me.

Karma exists as long as there is a sense of individual Existence. Put simply, karma operates when we put a boundary to ourselves and ‘make’ another. And this play of ‘me and another’ seems to operate in some symmetrical sort of way; that this ‘me and another’ may go around and around again, but it’s just a dancing in this dance. Say that I do something bad …, so then I experience something bad …, and suppose everything got cancelled out [in that way]? Then what is the source of the next action or what is the source of the first action?

I am taking you beyond these conceptual notions. And they were nice; I have nothing against these concepts. They were nice but I’m just trying to show you that you are beyond that now. They are nice in the sense that they provide some conceptual balm to when we are going through something; then if Buddhist comes and tells you ‘Oh, you’re going through all of this? Don’t worry. In the going through this you are burning all the bad stuff you have ever done, so it is actually good.’ So, you feel a bit better about yourself. At that level, it’s helpful many times.

But ultimately, what is being pointed to is (at best, you can say): The Universe which manifests in Your Being seems to have some rules for the fun.

Now, let’s look at one of the mind reports that gets us. When I say ‘Meet this moment’ or ‘Meet Now’ or ‘Meet YourSelf empty of any notion about YourSelf’ your mind will obviously come and say ‘Well, nothing happened.’ And I am saying that the complete Truth (the Absolute Truth) is completely apparent to You in that one moment of Your Notionless Existence.

There is a big contradiction there. I am saying that the Absolute Truth is completely apparent to You in one moment of Notionless Existence. And your mind is saying ‘Nothing happened.’

[Chuckles and holds Arms Wide] It’s a big quantum leap, isn’t it?

So, what is True?

Is it not clear that You Exist?

And You are Aware of Your Existence?

Is the ‘Isness’ in any doubt when you’re empty of any concept about YourSelf?

[Silence]

You seem to escape Your Divinity when you buy into this mental idea that ‘Nothing happened.’ And it’s very easy to come to an Advaita Satsang and say things like ‘I am aware of my Existence.’ [Chuckles] But do you realize what you are talking about? This Existence, according to all the Sages (according to the Upanishads and Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi) said ‘It is this Existence which gives light to the sun.’ [Silence] But, how we trivialize that ‘I am aware of my Existence.’

Whose Existence is this?

Is this a personal Existence?

I propose to you that this is the Existence of the only Divine Being there Is.

Everything is just a manifestation of This.

What a difficult job the mind has. What a difficult job it has and how well it seems to have done it …, to convince this Divinity ItSelf (or at least to have played this game of convincing this Divinity ItSelf) that It is personal. Because all of you are aware of Your Existence; you just believe that a person exists. [Chuckles]

There’s nobody who I’ve ever asked ‘Can You stop Being? Can You not exist?’ who has said ‘Yes, I did it.’

This Being … [Silence] … is the Divine.

Your Being (Your very Existence) is the Existence of Consciousness.

And it is clear to you in this moment …, (if in this moment you’re not picking up a mask about YourSelf; if you’re not interpreting YourSelf as ‘something’).

[Silence]

Everything you put after this ‘I Am’ (every ‘thing’ you put after this ‘I Am’) is just a mask. It’s a facade.

[Silence]

Which offer will you buy from the mind? [Chuckles] ‘I am free’? ‘I am free’ is a facade. ‘I am still not free’ is a facade. ‘I am almost there’ is a facade because it says nothing about the ‘I Am.’

It’s just a made-up idea.

This ‘I Am’ which is beyond any limits; hundreds of times we have checked this. We saw that all these sensations which I call the body do not contain ‘I Am.’ It is ‘I Am’ which is the screen of all these sensations. We have checked this over and over.

If something defines your boundary, don’t you also have to see the other side? How can you decide that something is my boundary? Because both sides of the boundary are visible to You. Therefore, actually, the screen is present. Your Being is present everywhere. [Chuckles] (Actually, I’m laughing because It is everywhere which is present on Your screen.) But when we make a boundary and define it and say ‘This is me’ … it is a pure fraud; fooling YourSelf to play this game of individuality.

This ‘I Am’ is without limits, without boundaries. And it is clear to You actually. You’re just to addicted to believing the photocopy version of YourSelf which says ‘I was born here. Then this is where I lived. These are the relationships I’ve had. These are the degrees I got. This is my current life. This is what I want my future to be.’ These are nothing but ideas. It has nothing to do with what actually happened or what actually IS.

Leave Your Being un-harassed by your concepts: That is Satsang. So, this sense, this Existence …, you feel like you could be adding things to It with what you know, what you think. But how will you add something to God? And this ‘You’ that is doing it (by the way) is also the same God; Consciousness. [Chuckles] That’s why Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘This is rehab for God, which is run by God ItSelf.’

What can you say after ‘I Am’ which adds something to the ‘I Am’? Or what can you believe is True about You? It’s only a story. And any time you go to your Being, it can be a Fire Ceremony. It can be a Fire Ceremony where you can burn all your stories or surrender them.

If I said to all of you that ‘I am taking you to Paris…’ [Smiles] If I said to all of you: ‘There is a surprise for you. I am taking you to Paris. Come, come, get ready. The bus to the Airport leaves in two minutes…’ [Smiles]

[Someone in sangha says]: ‘I have my passport right here.’

Ah, you have your passport ready, yes.

And then I go out for a minute and I get you these photocopies of the Eiffel tower, the Arc de Triomphe, the Champs-Élysées; all these photocopy versions. Now, you can see this is Paris. You will say ‘Ananta, what kind of nonsense is this? You got us so excited and all that we have are these photocopies.’

But this is how most of us are living our life, in the photocopy version. What is the photocopy version? Your ideas of what life is. A photocopy version is very tame. It’s lame, like my kids would say. [Smiles] Your stories, our stories, are very tame compared to Reality.

Our concepts do not capture a tiny bit of the light of this Reality and yet somehow, we’ve misunderstood spirituality, where it can feel like ‘Once I know the highest concept, then this is the Truth.’ But it is not that.

So, the things that we feel the most right about, we feel that we really know this, is just you staring at a photocopy trying very hard to make it feel real. Because nothing that you know mentally or conceptually is true. The Truth actually is so beyond our concepts that no concept captures it.

And we come to openness because we admit to ourselves that ‘I don’t know what is true. I don’t know what is right, what is wrong, what is true, what is false, what is yesterday, what is tomorrow, even what is up, what is down.’ You just don’t know. And from this opening of ‘not knowing’ you discover a deeper Knowing which has actually always been Here.

So, what is the end of that story? Actually, you are already in Paris. You wanted to go to Paris and then you got disappointed with the photocopies of the Paris. Because you wanted it as an experience, or at least you wanted it as an experience of some concept, but it was not that. It was what already Is.

We can speak about ‘Is-ness’ as if it is something that we have to get to. [Smiles] That is not why Guruji [Sri Mooji] would have come up with the term [Is-ness] if it became like something that all of us have to get to (I have to get to my ‘Is-ness’).

What already Is?

Can we clarify that?

And clarify it not as an idea. Don’t add on to Is-ness. It needs no support. ‘Oh, Is-ness is like this, Is-ness is like that’ or ‘What Is like this, what IS that like that.’

This is what Guruji sometimes says: ‘I make some chocolate cake for you but you mix mud in it, thinking that you are helping.’ [Chuckles

So, can you meet the truth which IS, empty of your ideas of what it should be; empty of your notions of what you are even finding?

Un-interpreted, un-labeled ‘Is.’

It is this Self.

It can be discovered only through an inner insight. If you want, you can call it ‘Intuitive Insight.’ It is this Self which can be found just [only] Now …, found in the sense that you discover that it was never lost. Just in the same way that you would find that you never actually took off your spectacles. [Smiles] You never actually find them; you just recognize that they were always there.

So, the Self is always Here. Throw away your photocopies.

Satsang is that ‘rehab’ where you come to get rid of this habit to conceptualize.

To the mind, this can be very unsatisfactory because it can feel like ‘But I was waiting for some fireworks or at least some greater concept. I was waiting to come to a point where all my thoughts only become ‘Aaham Brahamsmi: I am that absolute Brahman.’ But it is not that.

It is much more magnificent than that.

Because it is much more True.

It is much more innocent.

It is much more Here.

This is the middle: neither this nor that. Even now the mind might be saying ‘Oh, this is it? This is it? This is IT?’ Complete nakedness …, not knowing what ‘this’ is because you cannot know it. [Chuckles] Guruji [Sri Mooji] said to me these words when I came on the hot seat, he said:

‘Then don’t know …, because knowing messes it up and it’s not true anyway.’

Just Be. But you don’t have to know that ‘I just have to Be.’ (He didn’t say that part; this part I am adding now.) [Laughs] ‘Don’t know because knowing messes it up.’ You should be shocked at that, that ‘knowing messes it up.’ Because it feels like in all our life what we wanted to do is know: ‘What is going on? Will I be all right? Am I becoming free? What is this?’

I heard the other day that there is a sect of Korean Zen where their practice is that you are supposed to sit in the front of a blank wall for many years and just inquire into the question ‘What is this?’ It’s very beautiful, in a way. (Okay, I am not recommending it to any of you.) I am just saying: What is the mind proposing? All the mind’s conclusion is the conclusion about what this is. It’s an answer to ‘What’s going on?’ But you can’t know. Therefore, I say that surrender actually is just not picking up any conclusion. Not even this, if possible.

Simple, no? Because what got attacked in the previous story were just our conclusions about ourself. The play of attack and defense only happens with these conclusions, these ideas.

For a moment, can you imagine yourself (even if it feels like ‘I can’t do it’ but at least can you imagine yourself) …, imagine yourself without any story.

Imagine that you are just SO fresh. You have no grievances, no resentment, no past, no idea about the future, no boundary, no body; more spacious than space, beyond all true and false, beyond all right and wrong.

Imagine, you are This.

Imagine that That is the Real world.

Here, You are neither doing nor not-doing.

You are neither wanting nor letting go.

You are empty of all of these qualities, empty of all of these notions.

Now, in your heart, ask yourself:

Is this my imagination or my Truth?

Could it be that everything that I have believed before this has been imagined?

And this notion-less-ness has shown me the Truth?

What story can’t you do without? Is it your spiritual one? Your relationship one? Your money one? Your body one? Which story can’t you do without? Shine it in your own light.

This could be something that you’re looking for, something that you’re sure has happened to you; some grievance, some resentment, some guilt. It is these stories which make us stiff. And empty of these crutches, we’re just so light.

[Silence]

As long as you can identify that ‘It is this that gives me trouble; it is not the world, it is not events, it is not even feelings and emotions. There is always a story which gives me trouble.’ Because the mind is trying to distract you. It will say ‘It is because this is happening and that is happening. Look at how he is behaving, look at how she said this…’ and all of these things. But what is all this? Just a group of atoms and molecules floating around which are telling other pieces of atoms and molecules? [Chuckles] No, it can’t be. It must be that all which seems like attack, all which seems like it is a defense, must be just conceptual, just ideas.

Okay, so let’s take this through because many of you struggle with this even after many years of being in Satsang. If somebody says something mean to you, somebody says something you don’t like (‘You are a horrible person’ or something ‘You’re just terrible. I don’t know what you’re doing in the sangha; you don’t deserve to be here!’ … suppose) … what actually happened? Did those sound-waves carry some daggers in them? What actually happened? Your body is not physically hurt. So, what is it that got attacked?

And suppose you were brand new to Satsang. You don’t even know what a sangha is, and somebody comes and tells you ‘You’re just terrible. You don’t deserve to be in this sangha.’ You’re like ‘Sangha? Are you talking to me?’ [Chuckles] (You’re wondering.) You see, it doesn’t have any effect. So, it’s not in the contents of the words. It is not in the hearing of them. Then what is it in? What is the potential for suffering? Suppose you told a one-year-old child this. Nothing happened. So, what makes it different for you? What happened to that one-year-old child? And now, when this one, the presumed ‘grown up’ hears these words then it can hurt. What changed?

This is the loss of innocence that I speak about.

[Silence]

And these are the things. We hear them from the world, we hear them from the mind. Like ‘You don’t deserve a relationship. You don’t deserve to be free. You’re not worthy.’ And I’m not picking out necessarily just one end of the spectrum; the other end could also be there. ‘Oh, you are just too good! You’re just the sweetest, the best person. You should get the best relationship. You are just too, too good!’ This is the nature of the so-called ‘Self-help’ where ‘The negative aspects are not true. Let’s then use the positive to reaffirm some other stories.’ But what is beyond our stories? Because you can keep self-affirming ‘I’m too good, I’m too good, I’m too good’ then you go to that handsome man and he says ‘Sorry, I’m already in a relationship.’ Then what happens to ‘I’m too good?’

So, all of this is a house of cards. Just lies on top of lies and you can sugar-coat it and have the best icing on the cake but it was just made-up stuff. It will not be durable. It’s all a house of cards; the best icing…, but still, it will crumble.

So, our negative stories are not helping, our so-called positive stories are not helping; have we tried the middle?

This middle is really unattractive because the mind can’t do it. The mind can say ‘Okay, tell me to think positive, I’ll think positive. Tell me to think negative, I’ll think negative.’ It never follows that but at least it pretends to. [Chuckles] But this middle is what?

In the middle of true and false, in the middle of right and wrong, in the middle of left and right, in the middle of previous and next … what is there? In the middle of wonder and disgust, [Chuckles] what is there? In the middle of Being and not-being . . . [what is there?]

[Silence]

When you’re empty of all concepts of true and false, what are you left with?

You don’t have to be a certain way; no conditions are needed. In fact, it is the conditions which seem to make it slip away. Note that I’m saying ‘seem to.’ Okay, let me try and say it even more simply.

You are the Self, Right Now, and your manifest Being is empty of all conditions in this very moment. Therefore, it IS that Free Being or Enlightened Being (whatever you call it).

Now, if you don’t buy any ‘But …’ I don’t have to say anything else. So, your move now.

You are the Self and Your Being is empty of all conditions. [Silence] Is this an experience? [Looks around the room] Is this an experience? Is Being an experience? Like when I say: ‘Can you stop being?’ Theoretically, mentally, I can have a concept of it (of death or something like this) but if you were to ask me to try: Right Now, this Being is just Here. Isn’t it?  So, is this Being an experience? Being. Just to be. Is it an experience? [Smiles]

This is where actually language starts to fail us because it is neither an experience nor a non-experience. You can say ‘Of course, I experience My Being.’ And yet. I say: ‘What color is it? What shape is it? What size is it?’ These are the criteria for experience. But this comes to the cusp. The cusp of experience and non-experience comes to this Being. And then, if I was to ask you: ‘So, what is aware even of your Beingness? Can you experience That?’ …, there you will find that even words like Presence, Existence, fail us; and yet You know it is true that You are aware.

So, we’ve left all of this experience behind. And yet, you come to a recognition, empty of phenomenal experience. And this is what I’m saying that the mind cannot capture.

So, when I ask you ‘Are you aware now?’ …, there is awareness. But you didn’t see it. And yet, you confirm it.

Now, suppose you came to India to visit the Taj Mahal. Both of us are standing in front of the Taj Mahal.

You say: ‘Brother, can you please show me where is the Taj Mahal?’

And I say ‘Here it is. Look in front. It’s just here.’

[Then you say]: ‘But show me the Taj Mahal.’

[I say]: ‘Here it is.’

[You say]: ‘I don’t think this is the Taj Mahal. I don’t think this is it.’

[I say]: ‘Okay, but this is it, you know.’

[You say]: ‘I don’t feel this is it’ or ‘I had a different photo of it. I’d seen a different photo of it so I don’t feel like this is it.’

But all I can do is keep pointing you to that and say ‘This is It.’

So, in the same way, what You are Now, unburdened with any concept, is It.

Whether you like it or not, this is It. [Laughs] The liking and not-liking come later. The idea we have about it comes later. But It already IS.

Now you might say ‘What is It?’

I say ‘This is It.’

So, you might say ‘So then, what? What?’

And we can go through all the experiences.

And we say ‘That which witnesses all of these, That is It.’

So, where does that leave us? [Silence] How many of you still feel that you have to see something to find the Self? [Looks around] Nobody? [Laughs] Yes?

Q1: Experience.

A: Experience is what? What would you call an experience?

Q1: Experience is peaceful.

A: Peaceful? Have you been peaceful ever? You have. So, then you realized the Self then?

Q1: It’s not steady.

A: Steady. So, a steady experience of peace, is that the Self?

Q1: That’s what I am looking for.

A: You’re looking for it. The one that is looking is which one? You say (and very naturally) ‘I am looking for this.’ Are you talking about the same one which is witnessing everything?

The one that wants and the one that Sees, are they the same?

[Silence]

So, what is the way to check this? Find the one that Sees and ask him what he (or she) wants. [Chuckles]

Found the one the Sees? Found? [Laughs] Everybody has this awkward silence. You know why it is this awkward silence? It’s because already in this is included Guruji’s [Sri Mooji’s] piranha question [Can the Perceiver be Perceived?] when I say ‘Find the one that Sees and ask it what it wants.’

So, where do we get stuck? You can’t find the one that Sees? Can we? Or not? Can we find the one that Sees or not?

‘To find.’ Not that I have an idea of it, not that I have a feeling like ‘Oh, some peace is coming, thank you, thank you!’ It’s not about that. It can happen so many times where we start inquiring into this, and we get distracted by another so-called good experience or so-called bad experience; but it is about neither. Because it’s happened so often in the past few years where I’ve said ‘Okay, let’s look’ and you have said ‘Oh, Father, thank you; there’s some peace’ …which is fine, but what did we find? Because in another way, if we start looking and there is agitation, you say ‘No, no, I can’t look now. There is agitation.’ So, we get stuck with the sense of peace or agitation. But the inquiry was different, no?

Fundamentally it is simple: Who are you? Who are you, really? Who are you?

I’ve given a clue, which is ‘Find the one that Sees’

[Looks around]: ‘But? … But? [Laughs] It shouldn’t be that difficult. Because, presumably, you are the one that is Seeing. If I say to you ‘Look at the fan’ and then I say ‘No, no, you didn’t actually look; it was Govind sitting next to you who saw it’ then you would say ‘No, Father, of course I looked.’ So, this is clear that it is ‘I.’

But, this ‘I’ …, what’s the trouble?

I want you to say it before I can say it. [Chuckles]

What’s the trouble with this ‘I’? What makes it feel like ‘I can’t really confirm this? I say I am Seeing but I can’t really confirm, you know; can’t confirm.’

Q2: You can’t find it. You can’t point to it.

A: You can’t point to it. Why not?

Q2: What will we point to?

A: You. To You.

Q2: Yeah, I mean like ‘me’ …, what can I point to? I can only point to this body.

A: This body. So, that you’ve seen through.

Q2: Senses.

A: Senses you’ve seen through. What witnesses all of this?

Q2: Can’t point to it.

A: Can’t point to it. Why not?

Q: It’s not point-able.

A: Why is not point-able?

Q2: Why?

A: Don’t say ‘Consciousness.’ [Sangha laughs. He is referring to his pointing of: The answer to all ‘why’ questions is ‘Consciousness.’]

Stay with me. Why is it not point-able?

Q2: Because it’s not something the way I know other things.

A: What is different about it? What is the way you know other things?

Q2: Like objects.

A: Objects; you perceive them or you have a concept of them. But this one? What happens to this one?

Q2: This one is just there.

A: It’s just where? [Chuckles] Like you said, you can’t point to it.

Q3: It’s because ‘I Am It.’

A:  You are it?

Q3: …and there’s no separation and you have to have separation to point to something.

A: Do you have to have separation to point to something?

Q3: One thing points to another thing.

A: So, we can’t even point to it?

Q2: It’s so obvious.

A: It’s so obvious? I’m just asking questions. [Laughs] I’m just repeating what everyone is saying. Say…

Q2: It’s so obvious that the minute you look for it, it’s gone.

A: Is it gone? [Laughs]

Q2: No, you know what I mean…

A: I don’t want to make this into a Lampoon session. I’m just saying: Is it really gone?

Q2: No, it can’t. It can’t go also.

A: It can’t go. Why not?

Q2: Because it’s the only thing that’s always there.

A: How do you know this?

Q2: Because always I can confirm that ‘I Am Here.’

A: If you can always confirm that You are Here, tell me again what you are looking for?

Q2: [Laughs]

[Laughter in the room]

A: All this we can confirm. And yet we seem to be on some sort of a journey, some sort of a search. What is this search?

We are actually trying to capture it mentally or perceptually. (Let’s call it the same thing, okay? I rarely do this but for a minute, let’s call both ‘the mind.’ Whether you see you perceptually or mentally, let’s say it is the mind.) So, we are trying to capture (in the mind) That which is too big for the mind …, (or too much; or beyond, let’s say. Because even ‘big’ and ‘much’ are quantitative terms). It is beyond the mind.

It’s like trying to hold some milk in the sieve. (You know the sieve?) In a sieve, can you hold some milk? It’s the wrong tool. It’s the wrong tool and this is, in a way, also what Shivani is asking. We feel like (because we’ve been taught this way) that ‘Unless I have it in my mind, I don’t know anything; I don’t know it.’ But this you cannot get in your mind. Like all of you said ‘I Am It. It doesn’t leave. It is just Here.’ But you do not say this out of some vision of it. The one that you say is ‘I’ when you say ‘I am always Here’ …, what is the color of that one? Empty of color, isn’t it? What is the shape, size, age, any attribute, of That One?

The closest we can come is to call it Awareness, in a way, because at least we can say about It that ‘It is aware of all things.’  And yet even ‘Awareness’ does not capture It in Its entirety. It does not capture Its true intelligence, as a term.

Now, you are trying to box it with some terms or some images. Now, you can’t do that. [Silence. Looks around]

Are you going to give up on trying to do that? [Laughs] You’ll think about it…

So, the giving up of trying to do that is surrender.

The exploration into that is inquiry.

The giving up on trying to conceptualize or trying to picture the Self is surrender.

It’s a beautiful surrender.

And the inquiring into the True nature, trying to find out ‘What is this ‘I’? Who am I?’ is inquiry.

And both are the same.

Why are both the same? Because when you give up trying to picture yourself, what You Are is apparent. When you give up trying to picture yourself, you have the True vision (we have to use phenomenal terms) of YourSelf; the True darshan.

When you find out ‘Who am I?’ …, when You come to the recognition of Your Source, You are empty of all pictures about It.

Q: Father, this feeling of ‘I Exist’ …, it’s also, in a way, it’s like …, if we look, there is a visual image in front, there is some sensation and there is a kind of an energy of thought (there is a kind of a ghost thought) which is ‘I Exist’ but is it also a thought?

A: Okay, let’s look. There is a visual, there is some sensation and there is a thought like ‘I Exist’. What perceives all these? The visual and the sensation and the thought: what perceives them? Because the visual comes and goes (every visual comes and goes) sensation comes and goes and thought comes and goes. That which is perceiving them or That which is the Existence which allows the space for visuals to happen, for sensations to come and thoughts to come and go, is That dependent on any of these?

Q: No.

A: Exactly. So, that is Your Being.

Q: Probably I’m not able to put it across properly. It’s like the moment I say ‘I Exist’ there is an in-built separation in that it could be just an appearance and that ‘I’ also is an appearance in that.

I don’t know whether I have…

A: It’s good, it’s good. We can look like this. If it is an appearance, it must appear and disappear. Is that what you mean? Like an appearance means that it appears and it disappears.

Q: It’s like, in some way it’s observed as Presence and something feels its Presence. But when its Presence is felt, it looks personal. I don’t know if I am making sense or not.

A: See ‘personal’ is another set of things, which is beyond this visual, beyond thought, beyond sensation. It is when the thought is bought; not just the appearance of these things. So, personal we can keep aside. Just in itself, when I say ‘Can you stop Being?’ is it dependent on some visual being there; some sensation being there; some thought being there?

Q: No.

A: So, that is the Being …, which is so empty of all of these qualities and yet It is present. It is just Presence …, (like what you were saying: ‘But not like a colored Presence, not a spatial Presence, not a sensational Presence).

So, stay with this question then: ‘Can you stop Being?’

And you will See that all these other appearances will come and go but this Being is like a beautiful substratum …, (but don’t try to visualize it based on what I am saying).

Just ‘Can you stop Being?’

I See this Existence is Here, which is empty of qualities. And the closest thing you can come to say about It is that It is Presence; It is present …, but it is not definable; it is not visualize-able. It Itself is perceiving the visual. All perception belongs to Your Being.

So, then what perceives the Being? You can use this question: What perceives your Being?

Or you can say:

If this is sensation, then: What witnesses this sensation?

What perceives this sensation?

If it is thought, then: What witnesses this thought?’

Like if you say ‘I woke up at 7:00 a.m. this morning’ you are not talking about the appearance of that visual or sensation or thought. Isn’t it? It’s something more primal which became the basis for all these things to come; either visually or sensationally or mentally. So, Your Being is not quantifiable in any way; it is not an appearance or disappearance in that way.

And yet, ultimately for Your Self, you can say that ‘even this [Being] comes and goes’ …, (but we don’t have to rush to that conclusion. Just this exploration is very good.)

So, what can’t you stop when I say ‘Can you stop Being?’

Q: Experiencing.

A: Experiencing. But suppose, one-by-one, all your senses stopped; like sight stopped, hearing stopped, taste stopped (one-by-one, all of these) …, will you still be there or not?

Q: If there is a primal knowing, then I would say ‘Yes’ …, if all this sensation is there in the primal knowing. Suppose this body died or I am born; I don’t know whether I existed.

A: Yeah, but now we have gotten into the realm of inferring. So, right now I am saying if your sight went, hearing went, is there a sense that something would remain independent of these experiences?

Q: Yes.

A: ‘Yes.’  Now, are any of these things visual or sensations or thoughts?

Q: No.

A: ‘No.’ So, this is the Presence.