Longing, the dread of being cast off
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
वाळूनियां जन सांडी मज दुरी । करिसील हरी ऐसें कधीं ॥1॥
आठवीन पाय धरूनि अनुताप । वाहे जळ झोंप नाहीं डोळां ॥ध्रु.॥
नावडती जीवा आणीक प्रकार । आवडी ते फार एकांताची ॥2॥
तुका ह्मणे ऐसी धरितों वासना । होई नारायणा साहए मज ॥3॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
Will You ever cast me off, turn the people against me, and push me far away, O Hari? I would cling to Your feet in remorse, tears streaming, with no sleep in my eyes. My jiva cares for no other pursuit; the love of solitude alone appeals to me. Says Tuka, this is the longing I hold; be my help, O Narayana.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
Will you ever do this to me, Hari: dry me up, turn people against me, push me far away? I would hold your feet and think of you in remorse. Tears would stream; no sleep would come to my eyes. My jiva cares for nothing else. I love only solitude, and love it greatly. Tuka says: this is the longing I hold. Be my help, Narayana.
What it means
Tukaram prays out of a fear that doubles as a wish. He imagines Hari withering him, setting the world against him, driving him away; and instead of shrinking from that picture he leans into it, because stripped of everything he would cling all the harder to those feet. The remorse, the tears, the sleepless eyes are not punishments he dreads but the shape of the love he wants. He has lost his taste for every other pursuit and craves only solitude with God. So he names his one desire and asks Narayana to help him hold it.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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