The Gateway to the Heart Temple - 2nd March 2026

You see, sometimes the taste of a mango can come. Sometime thoughts of childhood where you had the mango, you used to climb a mango tree and pluck the mangoes, those can come. You see, sometimes just a good feeling—if mango is associated with good, then the feeling of nice, feeling good can come. You see, so just by the utterance of almost even a mechanical utterance of the word mango can affect most of the layers. Most of the layers of the Antahkarana of our insides of our soul are affected by the simple utterance of a simple word: mango. You see, it is almost as if the Antahkarana is designed to produce for us that experience to the highest level of its capacity. Huh?

So then what happens, and it happens with most things, we call it good concepts, bad concepts, good thoughts, bad thoughts. So if we think of something scary, then we may experience fear. It may bring back memory of some fear. All the layers of our existence, which is the mind, memory, imagination, intellect, emotion, sensation—all of these layers get impacted, isn't it? With a simple utterance.

So now I'm going to propose something to you: that God has made it like that for himself as well. You see, he has made it like that for himself as well. So if you say God, you say Ram, you say Krishna, you say Radha, you say Jesus, you say Allah. You see what will happen? The Antahkarana will bring you to the deepest point of recognition possible in its capacity. Because it cannot produce Ram. You see, it cannot produce God. God is not a worldly thing. Cannot be met in phenomena in his truest essence. And yet our soul doesn't leave us empty-handed when we remember God. Yes?

Yes. Its capacity varies moment to moment.

Its capacity varies moment to moment, or we can say that our level of distraction varies. Our attention varies. So those things may vary. But when you say—just like when you say mango—if you were to say Ram, you see, now it could be that you say Ram, Ram, Ram. You see, and it may still produce just a minor taste, you see, but you may say mango and you remember the sweetest moment in your childhood where you were gobbling up a mango, you see.

So, you may say Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram. It will still have an effect. That's what we were saying the other day. It won't go to waste. But if you say Ram wholeheartedly, then that intensity and the velocity of the deepening is deeper because we've offered more of ourselves in the process. So when we say Ram and we don't settle for any thought or any image as the finality of Ram, you see, then what happens? Can somebody report from their experience?

Whatever the practice may be, the same thing happens when you ask 'Who am I?' You see, what will happen? You are basically contemplating the nature of I, the reality of I. So the soul doesn't leave us empty-handed; it brings us to the point, to its deepest capacity, where the I can be met. This is the point that we have been calling the gateway to the heart temple. The door to the heart temple, is it?

Now the only problem can be what? The only problem can be that we settle for a mental idea or we settle for an imaginary visual as the completeness of it. Even if we say that yes, this is an aspect that is helpful, but I want to meet the wholeness, it'll take us deeper. But if you settle for an image or a thought as the completion of it, then mission accomplished—no, it can seem like mission accomplished where actually it is left midway, you see.

So when we are contemplating God, when we are contemplating the nature of our reality, which is the same thing, then the sincere question 'Who am I?' or the invocation, the calling the name of God, brings us to the deepest point in our soul, which is at the cusp of the birth of phenomenality and the non-phenomenal. You see, at the edge—was it Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci? No. What is that painting? The hand where the fingers go and the human finger, they meet like that and there's a spark of light in the middle. Michelangelo. So, just like that, that is where the Atma will reveal itself. You see, that is going to be the point of revelation. So doesn't this simplify the entire process of spiritual exploration? No, doesn't look like anyone speaks also. Capacity and taste also to its highest capacity.

Yes, we can say that the temple of God is also contained within the soul.

No, but what I'm trying to say is that it reaches that boundary as far as it can reach and waits over there. So your question should be, how long should I wait over there? Should this be your question to get till there? Effort is up to me.

So now you've made the effort of turning inwards in this way, isn't it? So what have you done? You've made it very simple. What is the tool you would use?

Just the name. This is the name of God. So suppose you say Ram. What happens?

Some love comes.

Some love comes. Don't settle for anything that comes. Accept it as a beautiful gift from God and just keep looking deeper. Allow, just keep allowing the deeperness to happen. If there is such a word, keep allowing the deepening to happen. So how long should we wait over there till we get distracted by the mind?

Yeah, you mentioned the highest capacity of Antahkarana. Um, how would I know that highest capacity of the Antahkarana? Because like you said, we could stop short and probably hold on to some representation or a notion and idea.

But that's the—till in your heart you know that you met the, you had a Darshan of the Atma within. You see, then how do you know that that was the Darshan of the Atma within? In your heart you'll know. It's impossible to say in words how you would know. But if you get stuck at a visual, for example, you see, or you are stuck in a thought that Ram Ji is so beautiful—which he is—but then we are trying to capture the entirety of God in a simple concept, which is not possible.

So when you find that your attention is distracted on something else, you see, or you settle for an image or you settle for just some concept, then you repeat, you see, then you repeat the inquiry or repeat the name. Now initially, because we may be very distracted, we may have to repeat the name very often. You may have to do Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram till the process—like we've juiced the Ram so much that it provides us the momentum to sit in our heart. You see?

So it's like we are doing 100 other things but we want to get the taste of mango. So we may have to say mango, mango, mango, mango, mango a few times till you get the taste. You see, in the same way you say the name of God often enough till you come to the taste. The taste means if there's a deepening that starts to happen, you see, naturally you get the taste of God in that way, like he said, 'I feel some love.' Yeah. So that is the taste of God. We can safely follow that or allow the following to happen. You see, allow the following to happen. Allow the dropping into the heart to happen.

So I feel like this was quite an explosive discovery, which I don't see that all of you are agreeing with me on that. You know, at least for me, it was quite a revelation. Um, I'm just a simple beginner on the path. What do I know? So, I just made things very simple for me that I realized that we say that every name that is chanted of God, even mechanically, doesn't go to waste. And this is the way in which it doesn't go to waste. Because even if you say mango very casually, you still can't help it but to have some taste, either an image of it or some sense of it, maybe at the very minimal level, you see, but it's never completely empty of the revelation of the taste of mango.

So in the same way, when we go beyond what is possible in the human intellect, the human mind, the human imagination, when we invoke that, even that doesn't go to waste at all. You see, because our soul in its wisdom takes us to the place which is the maximum to its capacity. Now it cannot force God's hand and say 'reveal yourself to me,' but it does know where to take you. So this Antarmukhi, the inward-facingness, works in this way. Because if it was left up to us, how would we know where to turn? Like, take a left turn at memory and you will hit imagination, and then take a straight from there and go into emotion. We don't know those pathways.

But what happens is that when we are attracted to something godly, then our soul provides the help to take us to where revelation of the godly is possible. See, that's it. But you must experiment with this to see. And if I've made some misconclusions, then feel free to tell me because I feel like this really demystifies the entire process of spirituality, or at least simplifies. I don't want to demystify it really.

Yes, relief.

Yes, a lot of relief. Am I audible at the back? So that point, the deepest point where we can go, we can turn inwards, is called the point of stillness or the point of silence where we are to wait. Yes, that's very lukewarm reaction to such good news. Actually, you just have to experiment with it and see. Okay, the mic to...

Yes. This is what seems so contradictory to my mind. I say mango and all is there. When I say mango, all is there. Yeah. When I say God, yeah, or also Ram, yeah, then nothing comes.

Yes. That nothing. That nothing. See, to wait patiently in nothing. Yes.

And so maybe because imagine if Ram came like mango comes.

Yes. Then Ram would just be objective, isn't it? He would just be an object.

But this was always my wish. I thought always.

But what will happen is that if he wants to reveal any Saguna part of himself, you see, any qualities of himself, even those will be revealed. You see? But does it require more patience than mango? Yes. Yes. Yes. You see, so Ram. Okay. Do it and tell me what. Yes. Also when I then do the whole Mala I come. You just do once and then close your eyes. Take your time.

Isn't it? He would just be an object.

But this was always my wish. I thought always.

But what will happen is that if he wants to reveal any Saguna part of himself, you see, any qualities of himself, even those will be revealed. You see? But does it require more patience than mango? Yes. Yes. Yes. You see, so Ram. Okay. Do it and tell me what.

Yes. Also when I then do the whole mala I come. You just do once and then close your eyes. Take your time. Once I overcome this moment of impatience or of asking, grasping for what, then yes, I then it goes through. But here now under your guidance it is easier here in satsang. And if we find that we're not falling into the heart or falling deeper, then we just keep repeating and we maybe make it faster too. Does taking God's name take us to a different place than doing the self-inquiry? I know you know the answer but just check. I can ask what is that? Sure. Just saying I can't wait long, there's a next step in here. Just ask who am I or what witnesses that love? It's silence.

See, that silence is very valuable. To be able to be in silence, to be able to be in stillness is to be able to be at the point of revelation. It's like a holy unknown. A holy unknown. Unknown. Sorry, because the mask. No, no, it's okay. Whatever you feel. Unknown. Holy unknown. Yes, yes, yes. But it's not unknown in that... yeah, it's not an unknown in the intellect. It's not an unknown in the... well, it is kind of unknown in the intellect, but not the kind of 'I want to know the capital of Ghana.' No, not that kind of pokey unknown. It's a mysterious unknowing in that way.

So some have suggested we remain in the empty through the Neti Neti or the cloud of unknowing, and some have suggested we fill ourselves up with God in all the layers and then that will overflow into this. Either is fine. You see, the point is to come to this point, not the road that we took to get here. You see, and we must stop worrying about which road to take because the whole life will go and we will still be determining which road to take. Does this go faster or this go faster? Now if you spend your whole life in figuring out which goes faster but never worked on either road, that won't really help, isn't it? You see, so whether it is this, whether it is God's name, whether it is inquiry, whether it is Neti Neti, whether it is selfless service, whether it is devotional singing, whatever it is, walk the road to be empty of yourself.

You see, so in this process, the 'me' is uninvolved. As the deepening is happening, the 'me' is uninvolved over there. Actually, you know, this saying of God's name like Ram has so much power because it's... it's not that it's... I don't know what it is, it's kind of magical with the Antahkarana and all, I don't know. But I think what it does is that it immediately shifts one's standing point from being 'me' to being at Your feet, Ram. Oh, it brings us to the feet of the Atma within, which is the true Satguru, which is such a gift, isn't it? Such a gift.

So the sages realized that we have no way to go out of ourselves. You see, and yet they found that the way to go out of ourselves is the way that we do even a worldly exploration. The starting point is the same. But in a worldly exploration, you settle for a worldly answer which is in the mind or in perception. But in a godly exploration, we don't settle till we come to God. Till we come to the Darshan of God, we don't conclude that that is the answer. We accept the gifts that are received in the process and the gifts undo whatever is here to be undone. The ego gets undone in the process of moving inwards towards God. You see, so these are very worthy gifts. But we don't take the gifts as a finality. You also got a cold.

Father, so you're saying that when you say a mango, I stop at either image or memory or you know, because it's worldly. But because Ram is not of this world, and you use the words 'the soul in its wisdom,' it takes you to the outworldly. Out of worldly. Yes. Out of the... yeah. Or it takes us to the cusp of that because that's the maximum that it can do. And so there's... yeah. So even like saying Ram, Ram, Ram, it's taking you home like that. Even though let's say I'm stuck in my head or I'm just the saying Ram, you're turning, you're starting to turn inward.

So if you... I know I'm taking this metaphor too far, but suppose that you're fully engrossed in something but you're mango obsessed. No? So then suppose mango season is starting and you really love them and you are doing your physiotherapy, all of that session, but you're just thinking of when will the mangoes come from Ratnagiri or wherever they're coming from. So then you will feel like you spend the day tasting mangoes without actually even cutting one. You see, so in the same way, even before we come to the Darshan of God, we come to the Darshan of Atma. Even before that, we start to live in His days. We start to live in His light. We start to live in His love. And the more of ourselves we can offer in that, the deeper we go and the quicker we go. Quicker we go in the sense the quicker we go to the deepest part of what is possible in our soul. It doesn't guarantee any quickness in the revelation because that's completely up to God's wisdom.

And also let's say my... all the faculties of my Antahkarana are with something, you know, they're filled up, but the Ram starts clearing up the Antahkarana. It just starts cleaning, emptying the...

Absolutely, absolutely. So if you look at the path of contemplation, some have contemplated words, some have contemplated scriptural passages. You see, so that is using a layer of Antahkarana. Others have done Leela Chintan or contemplating scenes from the Bible, like Saint Teresa of Avila said that she was hardly ever able to contemplate big words. But for her, she would just imagine herself to be in a biblical scene, you see, where Jesus is saying something and she was participating in that, and in the taste of that she would be taken deeply inwards to the same point.

You see, now if you say your path is to find out what is the sound of one hand clapping, what will happen? The same thing will happen. You see, it'll take you to the point where the answer can reveal itself. How does the goose escape the bottle? It'll take you to the same point where this answer, which is not possible to be revealed in the mind-intellect because the master has said, 'No, no, no, no, not accepted any answer from the mind and intellect.' You see, then we allow ourselves to fall to the deeper layer where a higher answer can be revealed. Yeah, it's all so in His mercy made it so, process with so much ease. You see, process with so much simplicity.

Let's see. Now what would happen if your words are about Ram, you see, but you're actually asking for mango? That means you're saying God, God, God, but you want relationship, relationship, relationship. You're saying God, God, God, but you want money, money, money. You see what would happen? That it would create a duality. You see, now we may struggle with that duality for a long time, but there is power in God's name to keep eating up that duality, to keep eating that and diminishing that. You see, unless it is just... I would say actually even if it is just pure lip service, God's name will do something, you see. But why do just lip service? My intention is to push you beyond lip service, isn't it?

So and it's so beautiful that now we are able to say that whatever may be your spiritual path, it brings us to this point in this way. So all the fighting should stop. Not that my voice will be heard through the world and everybody stop fighting because of it, but at least in ourselves there must not be a fighting about paths anymore. 'I am a Gnyani, I'm a Bhakta, I am a this, I'm a Yogi, this, that.' You see, not too strongly held onto. You may say that this is what I've been practicing recently, so if that defines me for the moment that's fine, but no specialness about any of that. You see, because we are doing nothing original in the process. All of this the sages have told. And the Antahkarana, the soul helps us to come to this point. Without that wisdom nothing would happen. And we did not produce that wisdom. That compass was left by God only within our soul. You see, that compass to turn towards Him was left by God only in our soul. We did not know how to design that compass. You see, we would not be able to design and say if I say Ram, if I say Krishna, if I say Hari, if I say Jesus, if I say Allah, it'll come to the same point. We could not have done it.

So this also I feel helps us to understand what we mean by cooking and eating. The eating is just the waiting over there. The cooking is the active part of the process of taking God's name or doing the inquiry. Does anyone have a report that 'I try saying but it doesn't go there'? You have that report? See, that's what... whatever you can report, whatever you're experiencing.

Sometimes I'm... it's very... even though I say the name, it doesn't go.

Yes. So then we have to repeat. Just like we said that if the taste of mango is not coming to our satisfaction, we keep remembering. We keep remembering the mango. We keep offering more of ourselves. You see, we bring out the memories that we had. We try to remember the taste of it. We put more and more of ourselves in it, and repetition helps. Back to Claudia. Chandra is aware of what you're saying. I'll recap a bit after.

Yes, it then that it comes... it's not the right moment. It's not... mind comes in to distract.

So repeat.

Yes.

If you get distracted, repeat.

Yes. Or it's not the right method. Maybe you should take another medicine and whatever the distraction may be. Yes. Yes. I persist now. But it's always mind trying like...

Exactly. Um, yes. So let me recap a bit for those who may have joined later. We are always meeting God. Even in the world we are meeting God. But that is not what the sages have called the revelation of God. So when Swami Vivekananda went to Sri Ramakrishna, he said, 'Can you show me God?' He was not talking about meeting God in a phenomenal way. He's talking about the Darshan of God, the revelation of God through the holy eyes of the spirit, through the holy eyes of the Atma within.

So God in His mercy gave us a process where He said, 'Okay, we are used to just remembering worldly things and through remembering worldly things we get an image of them or we get the memory of them or we get the concept of them.' So if you remember the theory of relativity, you may say that space and time are a continuum and if you slow down in space, you may speed up in time, or if you speed up in space, you may slow down in time. Whatever conceptual knowledge you may have about that, it comes to you and you recollect that. So then how do we meet that which is outside of phenomena, outside of conceptual knowledge and perceptual knowledge? We start in the same way. You see, we start in the same way.

So we want to meet Shiva. If you want to meet Shiva we say 'Om Namah Shivaya' till we haven't met Him. You see what happens when we say 'Om Namah Shivaya'? Just like if we say mango, the taste, the memory, the concepts, all of that starts filling us up. In the same way, when we take the name of God, any name of God, then it starts getting filled up with the taste of God. But more importantly, the soul in its wisdom brings us to the point where God will reveal Himself to us and gets us to wait over there.

You see, now there are some aspects of the Antahkarana which are designed to distract us, especially the mind which will offer us alternatives. 'Don't go there. This is it.' It may offer you an experience. It may offer you a taste. So accept all the tastes as Prasad, but till you know in your heart that you've come to Atma Darshan, you don't settle for anything as the final taste.

Importantly, the soul in its wisdom brings us to the point where God will reveal himself to us and gets us to wait over there. You see, now there are some aspects of the antahkarana which are designed to distract us, especially the mind which will offer us alternatives. Don't go there. This is it. It may offer you an experience. It may offer you a taste. So accept all the tastes as prasad, but till you know in your heart that you've come to Atma Darshan, you don't settle for anything as the final taste. You see, now if you find that you're not being able to turn inwards, repeat. If you're getting distracted, repeat. If you see you're settling for an image or getting very enamored with some experience, repeat. Unless that experience is taking you deeper into your heart, taking you deeper into a deeper love. You see, because many times spiritual experiences are just growing upright without us knowing. 'See what is happening to me. See, I'm seeing this now. See, I'm seeing that now.' You see? So, we have to be vigilant with ourselves and see, am I deepening in this?

So, what may we use for this contemplation? We may use the words of scripture. We may use God's name. We may use the self-inquiry. We may use spiritual imagery. We may use any practice to which we may use a Zen koan. But anything which is not possible to be fully satisfied in the other layers of our insides—and thank God that we cannot meet God fully in our mind. How small would God be to fit fully into our mind? How small would God have to be to fit fully into our imagination? If you can imagine the most glorious image of God and he fits into that image, or she fits into that image, how small would he or she be? Wouldn't it be disappointing that that image is fully God? The fullness of God is captured in that image. That would be extremely disappointing.

So whatever imagery we come across, if we accept it as a gift and say, 'Show me your fullness, Lord. Thank you for this gift, but show me. I want to fall into a deeper love. Bring me to a point where I cannot escape anymore. Bring me to a point that I have to offer myself fully. There's no room for escape.' Is there distance between us and God at the doorway of revelation? Is there distance between us and God at the doorway of revelation? There is no distance. So I felt this is exceedingly good news that I was bursting to share with all of you, that this is the simplicity of this. The whole complexity of the spiritual process, you see, can be just simplified in this way.

Are we saying that this is already that one? No. So we have to put a spoonful of that. No. No. Is it juice? Oh, it's not a concentrate. Just a spoonful I have to have. She said Mukti said I have to have little, little every day. Yeah. It's like a tonic. Yeah. She said that they take the amlas from the tree there and they mix some salt and things in it. So a table. No, that packaging is different. That packaging is not of that. Yeah. So just little she said to have.

Every further, what is in the God's name? Because what is in the God's name, when some years back when you started this Atma Darshan sadhana, I very intentionally picked the name of a God which is not in my culture at least, because I wanted to be like totally not taken in names which is in my culture. Nothing because of bad really, I just wanted to kind of be away from all this, but it also had a very good effect on me. And then this name chanting, sometimes when I was doing, I tried something like, I tried having the same kind of devotion to Thor in Avengers movie or Iron Man. It doesn't work. So what is that? God's name is totally different.

That's an extreme question because that's why the soul's wisdom is what is important. The soul's wisdom is what is important. You see, so the soul firstly doesn't have a culture. So you can safely take God's name from whichever culture. Secondly, the soul has been designed to respond to God's name like the—that's what I meant by the compass, you see—or respond to the sincere search for the ultimate truth. You see? So it's designed to respond to the sincerity of the question also. So for example, I would say that if somebody had a deep sense of devotion to the name Thor, it may still work. But because you were doing it as an experiment, so and that was already there that, you know, 'I'm doing an experiment with this.' So we can't really test God in those ways. No. So that's why the soul didn't respond to Thor. It won't respond to Iron Man also.

So it won't respond to any of this because we know that we cannot fool the soul. The soul in its wisdom realizes that this is just an experiment. It is not a devotional process. But if it is a devotional process—and that's why, was it the last satsang or the satsang before, I said we are so blessed to have been given the names of God, which means that that which can invoke him, he who lives beyond the universes can be invoked by name. That is such a huge gift. You see, and in that name we can also include the name 'I', because when we look for 'I', in a way when we say Ram, isn't the question 'Who is Ram?' included in that? Or 'I want to meet Ram.' In the sense when we say 'I want to meet Ram', we are trying to find out who Ram is, you see, in reality. So that's included in that. So that 'Who am I?' question is also extremely potent, you see.

But yeah, your soul will not fall. It's not a physics lab type device, the soul. That's what I'm trying to break spirituality out of a—what did I call it last time?—pseudo-mechanistic or something, pseudo-scientific process. It's not a set of force fields that you just put this next to this and then this. We have to use language which makes it sound like that, but what is happening? Where are we meeting God? We say God lives in our heart. Which heart is that? Where does that heart live? Huh? These are beautiful questions, isn't it? We say we meet God in our heart and we are able to say that thankfully because God has made it simple for us in that way, you see. But he doesn't live in a physical heart. He doesn't live in the body-mind. You see, so this is just his kindness that he's made himself so relatable and accessible. But sometimes we can take that relatability, accessibility too far and we can just normalize it into like physical force fields or something. It won't work. And it's good to experiment, good to try it.

It also happens like I'm just deeply doing work or something focusing, suddenly some ringtones, some God-named ringtones, suddenly it's like a wave of cold wave. If I try to play the same song again it doesn't happen.

Sometimes it happens like that. It's beautiful. Ram Surat Ji said, or Bai said, that when we remember God in this way, just look at it like God is remembering us. You see, it's a very sweet way of looking at that, that God is saying, 'Where are you? Come.' Also in this, the reason why we call the spiritual process a process of grace becomes clear, isn't it? That both the turning—how deeply we will turn in—and when the revelation will happen, and to what extent, in which way it will happen, all is determined by God's grace, isn't it? I'm saying that when we look at it like this, we also see why the sages have called it a process of grace because the extent to which we turn, you see, and the extent and timing and depth and type of revelation, all is determined by God's grace alone. We just have to keep doing our end of the working. Like we say, keep making the table for God to come for dinner. You see, what he will eat, when he will come, all of that is left to him.

Which one? This sounds—can share this with everyone. You can request Ma for one more bottle. No, I'm saying you can all have this. I'll send—we'll find a way to get another one. Does it taste like amla? Like you're eating raw amla but also not that strong because you have that salt and ajwain and some things like that to make it milder tasting. Very nice. Mic, mic, mic.

Father, when you put it like this, it feels like what you say before. I guess I'm only eating it to some extent now that every time we turn inward, God is there. Like you said, everything is God's grace from that point. So then God is very real, very living, and always accessible.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you, Father. Good to go.

What is the layer after love that has to be revealed? What is the layer deeper than love? Deeper than let's say a felt love?

Atma. Atma will tell you. I mean, you know all the terms. You see, no? Consciousness, awareness, you know all the terms. Your question implies like a sense of wanting to meet. That meeting will happen there. So I hope this completely breaks the concept of spirituality, especially Jnana Yoga, being a process of learned concepts. I hope this frame, sort of frame breaks that construct. You have vigilante satsang today with all the masked people.

I just wanted to say thank you. Taking the name of God is something that has been—there's been so much resistance. Yeah, but I think a year and a half ago when you proposed this, I can't say I jumped into it fully, but it's been this slow unfolding. And though I'm not very energetic right now, when you were sharing, there's so many sparks flying. Wonderful. And when you simplified—like when you simplified the 'Who am I?', when we ask 'Who am I?', it brings us to this open, empty unknown, the holy unknown. Yeah. And that's setting the table and just staying there. Yeah. And so the name of God, chanting the name of God, you know, when I see it from this lens, it's because when you ask the 'Who am I?' question enough, it brings—'Who am I?' leads to open and empty, the holy unknown. Yeah. So to know it's there and to use the name of God to just ask him to let you stay there. Yeah. Even just being there is the best place to be. Yeah. Absolutely. And what comes, it's okay. But to hear it like this and to receive it like this, it's so sweet. So thank you.

Thank you. Beautiful. So Anandamayi Ma said that there is a cave in our heart and that cave is the dwelling of the supreme being. And when we dwell in that, when we dwell in that cave along with the supreme being, that is where the revelation happens. So in today's satsang, we've simplified the pathway to that cave. How do we get to that cave? Now our job is to just wait there till the revelation of the Atma within can happen. Remember that the revelation will not be at the layer of imagery or any highest concept. You will not jump out of the bathtub one day shouting 'Eureka!' like Archimedes did because you got a formula in your head. You may do that, but it will not be because of a formula. That's what I'm saying. There's no—you may have an awakening in the bath, I'm not denying that. But it's not going to be because you have a conceptual grasp of something now. You see how the Neti Neti is also the same thing. What do the Christians call it? Apophatic. Apophatic process of negation brings us to the same point of revelation. Okay.

My God has made it so easy for us, like just take his name and soon the mind is like—it feels calm and then this—soon we reach to this place, silent, dark, empty place. The love can be felt sometime or sometime not. Yes. But still it's like a tasteless taste. Yes. Yes. So and the process is so easy, like setting the table is so easy. It's only about waiting like Shabri, again and again every day. So but still God has made the process so easy and like we are at the doorway of God. This feels so good and it's also satisfying, like our job is not that much.

Yes. Exactly.

And because today's time we want everything fast, fast. But God knows the best when to reveal the Atma.

Absolutely. Yes, very exactly, very well put. And the beauty is that as we are taking God's name or immersing in self-knowledge, self-inquiry, then everything is getting taken care of in the process, that which has burdened us.

It makes the process so easy, and like we are at the doorway of God. This feels so good and it's also satisfying, like our job is not that much.

Yes. Exactly.

And because today's time we want everything fast, fast. But God knows the best when to reveal the Atma.

Absolutely. Yes, very exactly, very well put. And the beauty is that as we are taking God's name or immersing in self-knowledge, self-inquiry, then everything is getting taken care of in the process—that which has burdened us. You see, everything gets cleaned up, gets taken care of. So if we keep doing this work, then the sages have promised that we don't have to worry about anything in the world. So, you made it that easy, like all our worldly problems also we don't have to carry the burden of. Not that the problems all disappear, but we are not burdened by them, and then we see God's ways and how everything is resolved in His ways in such simplicity that we can't imagine. So He creates more space for this work to happen and His mercy is beyond compare, isn't it?

Not only has He made it so straightforward, also He said, 'Okay, now those who are doing this work, who are sitting at My door,' He'll take care of their lives. Nothing to worry about for their lives. What else can we ask for? What we do, since I asked the question, provided an answer, which is what we do ask for often, is 'my way,' which gets in the way of the revelation. I want it my way. So that gets cleaned up in the process—that 'my will, I want this way' gets cleaned up in the process also. But you have to stay with that. We have to stay with the repetition of the practice that the teacher has given us. And it's okay; if you're a Zen student, then continue your Zen practice. If you're a Bhakti student, then continue your name chanting. If you're a Gyana student, continue your inquiry. All paths are all right.

So Maya clouds us. It clouds us and it will. And if you feel like after today's Satsang it will not try to cloud us—not that something extremely special—but it will continue to cloud the simplicity. It will try to make 'my way' the most important way, you see. And the identification with the body-mind and 'what about the me which is the body-mind?'—it'll bring these things to us more and more. So we must be aware that when we are moving closer towards God, then the Maya's force may be fully energized to stop us in that process. I'm not saying any of this to scare you. I'm just saying all of this to make you vigilant to the fact that now that you are approaching God in these simple ways, Maya will try all kinds of tricks to get you to Father.

Yeah. Is there a difference between praying for our heart, like when we pray to be blessed with the light of spirit, and to pray for others, for other human beings?

I feel blessed every time somebody says, 'Can you pray for this one?' You see, because it just gives me an opportunity to pray, because I may have forgotten otherwise in that moment to pray. It just gives me a chance to pray and that prayer is as potent, if not more. Yeah. And sometimes also we can be a little bit lazy with ourselves and sometimes we feel it strongly to think of others.

Father, yeah, can we do a prayer for what's happening now?

Yes. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for that reminder. What has happened is that just like we've normalized God—'Oh, God is here, God is everywhere, what's the big deal?' We don't say that part loud, of course, but we live like that. In the same way, we've normalized suffering, the pain of our brothers and sisters, just because they don't seem like they are family, their immediate family or something like that. We've normalized the death of the suffering of young children, the attacking of innocents. We have started to look at all this as collateral damage, which is just par for the course.

It is said that before Ram Ji came, the evil forces were at their peak and they were disrupting and making good people suffer for their own selfish needs, and selfishness in the world was growing. But it was some period of time before God decided to grace us in this way. And even in Christianity, the Jews waited for the Messiah to come for many, many years before he came. And the irony is that most of them, or many of them, actually didn't recognize him to be their Messiah anyway because they had a mental construct that he will come in this particular way and he will get us the kingdom on the outside. But when he came and showed us the true kingdom on the inside, most were not willing to accept that.

So I feel like all of us feel that it's time for Him to come, given what is happening in our world almost on a daily basis. But when that will happen is again up to Him, just like the revelation in the heart is completely up to Him. So we just have to continue in faith, continue praying for our brothers and sisters, continue praying for greater wisdom to prevail for those who are the leaders of this world. That the suffering of our brothers and sisters may not be so easily trivialized and forgotten and taken to be nothing. May the world move away from the darkness of egotism, selfishness, pride, and may there be love. May there be peace. We have to start in our lives also. Can we remove war from our lives? Because it is these tiny seeming wars which grow up and become these. We get used to this, you know, winning in these ways, getting in outer ways, fighting in these ways. And that then extends to families, to states, to countries, to continents.

Yes. To recognize the war and to commit over and over which side we are on. Many times without realizing, we flip over to the other side.

Like when Maya has us, then we are fighting actually for that; we're fighting for Maya because when we are in Maya, then we are a very compelling force of Maya for Maya, you see. If we are in Maya, we spread Maya. If we are in God, we spread God. You see, so to recognize this, that whatever I immerse myself in is contagious to my brothers and sisters. So if I find myself in anger, then I will spread anger. You see, because I will express my anger in some way, a brother or sister will carry it and then they will express it to someone else and then they will express it to someone else. You see, unless they've learned how to surrender it to God, which is a very rare skill—not even a skill, a very rare grace or a gift. That's how it just spreads like a contagious thing.

So I'm openly going to share that as we're exploring maybe in the next four or five years some ashram-type living, you see, then I want all of us to be very vigilant to the forces which are at play. The force of Maya will try to create division, separation within the Sangha. And the Atma within will guide us to a patient, loving, faithful way of life. You see, and if it is ever to happen like that, that we are in the ashram together, may it be after God has graced us with the gift of discernment, the gift of patience, the gift of faith. Yeah. So I was reading that most ashrams started in India fail within three years. You see, so we see only the success stories, but there are many attempts at community living as a spiritual Sangha which actually fail. And they must be failing because of the forces of Maya attacking everybody's mind, wanting to—like the thief doesn't want to add more police stations. It would like to disrupt every police station if it can.

So, we are going to take our time over all of this. We're going to make sure that everything is heartfelt, coming from God. And yet maybe it will demand a greater vigilance from all of us. A greater vigilance in the face of a greater provocation, and the provocation can come in many forms. Like I'm reminded of the movie Man of God about Saint Nectarius—such a holy, holy, holy man, holy sage who was taking care of such a beautiful community. But then the forces of Maya attacked, and while he was being attacked and all his children were saying, 'Do something, fight back,' he just pointed up and said, 'He knows.'

Father, you guided us and you said that the best way is to catch it when the irritation starts. You can see the irritation and catch it. So one tool is to go straight to God. Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram. Stop that and trust that God will cut through the Maya.

Yeah.

But sometimes also it feels like it's like a bumblebee where you brush it off and it comes again and it comes again, just so the story can land and grow. So you keep going back to the name of God, not in an avoidance of what it is. Like many times we feel that to think about it more and more is an absence of avoidance of what it is.

You see, now this one I've encountered in the past as well. You see, there are many different angles to which to look at it. One way is this: What do we call a non-avoidance? To sit and worry about something is a non-avoidance? To come up with a conceptual resolution to something is a non-avoidance? No, I feel to deconstruct a situation into a set of concepts is actually an avoidance because we are not meeting the situation fully. Then we are putting it into our lens of what it is. Any situation is much bigger than what we can conceptualize, isn't it? And we have the ability to meet it in its entirety at a deeper place than the mind.

You see, like often I say, what is this? Like right now, what is this? Yeah. One will say the one bearded old man is raving about something or ranting about something—not raving, ranting about something. Another will say that this is my Father pointing at something. Another will say Satsang is going on but I don't understand. So which one of those versions is true? They just capture a tiny element, if at all anything. So then to conceptualize that which is bigger than the ability for it to be conceptualized, isn't it like those ones who are trying to deconstruct the elephant based on the perception they are having and the label they are putting on it? So one is calling it a pillar, one is calling it a rope, one is calling it a pipe, you see, but the elephant is beyond comprehension. So the elephant is being avoided in the form of using small labels, you see. So it is the conceptualization which is the avoidance of it.

Okay. So allowing yourself to meet it in God, to remain in remembrance of God, should not be looked at as an avoidance. When you are feeling something, it is met fully and it is brought to God by remembering His name. It is avoided when we put it into our narrative. You see, when we put it into our narrative depending on our temperament—if you have the guilty-type temperament, then 'we are the bad guy.' You see, if you have the proud-type temperament, then 'the other one is the bad guy.' So, but neither of those narratives is true. So, to meet life fully and to keep remembering it, to bring it to God's light, is a non-avoidance. To make it into a primitive story which has nothing to do with what is, is an avoidance.

To make it into a primitive story which has really nothing to do with what is, is the avoidance. You see, you're saying that one is bad or I am very bad—so these are very, very primitive sort of ways. Even the phenomenal reality is much more nuanced than what our concepts will tell us. You see, so the best way to meet it is as a temple priest. Life has brought me this; I offer it to You, Lord. You tell me what to give back from there. You see, like that. Then we remain in the openness. We remain in the strength. We remain in a courage. But when we take ourselves to be the protagonist, it's very difficult. If we take ourselves to be the protagonist, we will have to simplify into primitive ancient stories which have not changed for thousands of years. The same story. So don't feel like when we are repelling the mind's attack by taking God's name, don't feel like that is an avoidance. That is a mind framing. It would love for you to say, 'Okay, let me accept all the narratives it is offering.' See, see, let me accept it is saying the world is like this, I am like that. Disaster.

It's very difficult. If we take ourselves to be the protagonist, we will have to simplify into primitive ancient stories which have not changed for thousands of years. The same story. So don't feel like when we are repelling the mind's attack by taking God's name, don't feel like that is an avoidance. That is a mind framing. It would love for you to say, 'Okay, let me accept all the narratives it is offering.' See, see, let me accept it is saying the world is like this, I am like that. Disaster. You see? And this is why love doesn't spread, because everybody takes a particular narrative. And what do you think? Is the mind offering narratives which are going to cause more peace or offering narratives which are going to cause more conflict? See, so between brother and brother, between sister and sister, the mind is trying to cause more conflict, isn't it? This is the war.

Let me get this right, Father. When you're saying when I spoke and there's a storyification going on and one turns to the name of God, one doesn't turn to my concept of the name of God. One turns to God. When you place it at the feet of God—

Yeah. No, what I'm actually saying is that we don't turn to my concept of what is happening. We turn to God. And even to turn to a concept of God which resonates with us in our heart is all right at that moment, you see, because in that moment it'll be very difficult to go straight to the nirvana. You see, sometimes it may just be helpful that, 'Oh Lord Ram, you are so merciful, you are so kind to even the greatest sinners, bless me.' You know? So that's all right as long as our concepts are such that He is the protagonist, then we are safe. You see, if our constructs are 'me, me,' then they are just going to cause more conflict.

So when you're saying the ads, when one says the ads, what we're doing is we are making Him the protagonist and it doesn't matter what the stories are coming—

Making Him the protagonist. We are pleading with our soul to take us to the place where the revelation can happen. Everything is happening in that simplicity.

So, and then when around it the storyification is happening—'she said, he said, I said'—that's also still coming in, it's all slipping in.

So we don't give it that belief. You know, like that's why very often I've just been asking, if you're doing your japa, then where is the time for this? You see, then have you split yourself in two? One is doing the japa and the other is saying, 'No,' you see? Not possible. Like, can we just keep taking Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram? Then the mind may offer to divide ourselves and say, 'Oh, Shamba is a child like this, Parth is a child like that, Chanda is a child like this, Ram, Shiv is like that.' Then what do you do when you catch that? We don't jump into saying, 'Okay, what am I trying to resolve in terms of the narrative?' We say the mind is distracting us. Let me go back to His name. You see, because I'm running out of time. Today will go. Today will go. Today will go. And soon life is over.

So like Mom took the urgency of the situation and she said, 'I'm not going to waste a day.' Yeah. So every night she would send me a voice note with a report. So that's a great inspiration for us. So let's follow that. Let's not waste a day because we don't have a day to waste. And Maya will always, every day, it'll provide you something. You may wake up in the day and say, 'Ah, today only God.' You know what happens by midday? This, that, what about this, what about that? 'He looked at me that way, he said, she said like this.' And where is God in all of that? You see? Maya is celebrating. No, so just like that, you just have to keep practicing. You know, that's why the word 'practice' is revealing itself to me now at such an old age and after 14 years of sharing satsang. I'm realizing the value of what practice is. We practice at every opportunity so that when life is squeezing our throat, we are able to persevere. We don't start the practice when life is squeezing our throat. We practice at every opportunity.

This is what Kabir Ji was trying to say. The problem is that all of this has been too oversimplified. What is he trying to say? He was trying to say that everybody starts praying when times are bad. Nobody prays in good times. If you were to start really praying in good times, then why would there be bad times? Which means—so he's not talking about periods of life. He's talking about today. Then we are at some peace. We woke up in the morning. We've not opened our phone. Start praying. Then you will see the texture of your day will be different. But you get into this, that, this, that, then already the Maya has the momentum. So just to be grounded when life gives us the space gives us a great advantage because Maya tries to be relentless, but it does not have inexhaustible energy. So even those who are most afflicted by Maya get some moments of relief. If they were to just grab onto those moments and turn to God with full might and have that deep intention that 'I am not leaving His feet now no matter what.' You know, have that kind of courage, that kind of—and what is that one? Tulsidas Ji is saying that, 'I have got You now. Now whether You like it or not, You are stuck with me. You do whatever. Even if You want to get rid of me, You can't.' That is the level of Bhakti. You see, now these were not aliens. They were like all of us only. But they just remembered to take that one step. One step. One step. That's why we call them saints today. Thank you so much.

My Father, it was to do with what happened yesterday and your Father with me. I feel like I know at what point I believed a particular thought and after that it was just—it took on a momentum. Yeah, it took on a momentum and after that I tried to fight it with prayer and that time like a lot came up. Like, you know, and almost the crying was as if, like, you know how I would feel when I was much younger, that I'd get hurt about something and I'd start crying like that. And I feel like that thought has a lot of—that thought doesn't have actually, but it's—

So there's a condition which is the groove, which is very deep. Then put that on the hit list. Yeah. You see that this is the groove which I will not fall for. I will turn to God instantly when it is trying to do its woo-woo stuff. It's trying to say, 'Come.' What about saying 'Ram'? Because that one has come. You see, that one has come. That is when you pick up your sword. That is when you pick up your sword. Otherwise, what will happen? To waste a life, we just need two or three grooves. We just do. We don't need so many. We just need two or three grooves. Every time we are going deeper in—

It's scary.

Yeah. You see, we are not as—we are actually very simple. We keep falling for the same stuff over and over again. And because we fall for the same stuff over and over again, that groove then deepens. If you fall into the same ditch, every time we fall, it gets deeper. You see? So then with those, it's a grace that we can even identify them. You see, because for most people, they're not feeling like grooves. They're feeling like, 'This is how it is,' isn't it? For most people, it is feeling like reality. So they will not even identify it as a conditioning. And then they will not use the inquiry. They will not use God's name offering it, surrendering it to God, because it feels so right. We feel like, 'This is how it is. This is what he meant.' So let's take this particular example. I won't spell it out, but it is so absurd and far-fetched and yet it feels so real, isn't it?

Yeah.

So this is a very good example. You see that something which is even in rationality like garbage, and yet when it comes, because the groove has been so activated, it can feel like, 'This is how it must be. This is how he must be feeling. This is how they must be feeling. This is where I am.' It's presenting this kind of thing as reality. And it becomes so compelling that we don't even take it to our intellect, actually, isn't it? We don't even take it to our rationality, that 'Could it be like that?' So those, then you identify and we get used to the texture of how it starts. So very good you said that when the initial thought came, I was able to notice it. So that is when you bring out your arms and you say, 'This one will not win today. I will change this groove which is taking me to the me in my head. I will use that as an opportunity to go so deep into God's light that it will not use this groove again.' That is the warrior spirit we need to have sometimes with the mind, to chop it off. You see? So we have to be meek in the heart in God's presence and we have to be warrior mode against the mind. Not fall for its garbage. You see? Just chop, chop, chop, chop.

Say that again. I don't know, Father, what you said, that I have to be meek in my heart—

In God's presence. Head bowed down, humility, just 'I know nothing. You are the all-knowing, all-merciful.' But no weakness in front of the mind, because the mind will take your weakness and squeeze your throat. See, God will take your weakness and give you the universe, and your mind will take your weakness and squeeze your throat. In the sense that when you are humble and meek in God's light and in your love for your brothers and sisters, then that is blessed with the highest. You see? Now, but if you're weak with the mind, oh, you see that the narrative comes and we find ourselves almost helplessly gravitating towards that, like Jerry mouse floating toward that cheese which he knows by now must have a trap. No, he must have known by the hundredth time that there is a trap that is there. So when we notice this weakness about ourselves, we make a determination that by the grace of God, I will not fall for this one again. I will fight it with all that strength that God has given me. You see? So that Mahabharat we have to recognize, and which ones are fighting on the other side we have to recognize.

Is it—so sometimes I say 'naukar' from that movie. It's a very useful song because if we take these divisive notions to be our own and our reality, they will end—we will end up not fulfilling the purpose of what we are here for. And the problem is that it can seem harmless when it comes. So it can seem like, 'All right, let me just dwell on this, it's only a matter of a day.' But our whole life is going like that. Our whole life goes like that. I noticed this about myself. If I just pick up one topic, half a day is gone. Half a day where I could have praised God, I could have loved God more, I could have deepened in His love, is gone because of some rubbish. And our human condition is like that day after day after day after day after day, and it makes it seem so important. So important. That's why it's very good to actually have these things which are super absurd. Huh? Good to have them because we can see them in their nakedness when we are looking at some distance. No, you see, we can see the emperor has no clothes when we are looking at them from some distance. It's only that when we are caught up in the hypnosis that they feel so real.

Yeah.

You see, so the sillier they are sometimes, the better it is because you can spot it and say, 'This cannot be.' You see? This cannot be, and if I'm falling for this, this is the Duryodhana I need to fight. You see? This is the Goliath which I need to fight.

Yes, Father. It must—even though it's one small seeming thought, no, but there must be a framework also, no, where it might get me in different other situations also in life, the same.

Yes. But every—this one small seeming thought, every time that we discard it, the framework dissolves. It is depleting the framework. You see, every time you don't fall for Duryodhana's arrow, he's running out of arrows. And we have to fight like King David. So what if it seemed like I just have a tiny sling in my hand and I have a monster in front of me? I have God with me.

No, but there must be a framework also, you know, where it might get me in different other situations also in life the same. Yes. But every—this one small seeming thought—every time that we discard it, the framework dissolves. It is depleting the framework. You see, every time you don't fall for the mind's arrow, he's running out of arrows and we have to fight like King David. So what if it seemed like I just have a tiny sling in my hand and I have a monster in front of me? I have God with me. You see, why was he able to fight? Because he had such faith in God. He was able to fight. Not that he didn't feel fear, not that he didn't have trepidation, but he kept offering it to God. Now, if you read the Psalms: 'They have surrounded me. They are going to kill me.' All of that. But he kept offering it to God in very innocent ways. You see, and God instantly—he said now God has taken care, God has done. You see, does this mean that he never fell for temptation in his life? He did, and big ones too. And he did a lot of crazy stuff, you see, but he kept returning to God. That is our job. That's the best we can do. Because who's on your side? God is with you. You see, that is where keeping the awe in the fact that God is here is very important. You see, so I want to seed that in all of us. We say the name of Ram, we say the name of Radha. Then what is the worry? See, what is the worry? Like, both can't be true. No, your worry can't be true and Ram can't be true. One of them has to be false. Isn't it? On one hand we say Radha is here. On the other hand we say, 'Oh, this worry, how can it be?' But both can't be true. So that's what I mean when I say where is the time? So if you're just Ram, where is the time to get into the head?

Yeah, because we were, you know, we were with you and we were at Arunachala and it was so holy. And I know that the point when it became twisted, like something just started, you know...

That is the nature of the mind. What do you feel like Maya's position is going to be every time you have a holy experience? It's not going to say, 'Jao bacha, have a good time.' No, it's going to say, 'Let me mess it up. Let me mess it up even in retrospect.' In the sense that you may actually have had a beautiful time, but you're left with memories only of these things. So you feel like you had a terrible time. You see, and what do we rely on for the past? 'Terrible time.' So we must be vigilant to these tendencies of the mind. Otherwise, our whole life will be left with these memories of resentment, unfairness, all of these kind of abandonment, all of these things. You see, now I don't feel like God is that unmerciful that He's given us a life which is only full of all of this. You see, it is the mind's propensity to bring these things to the surface again and again and it seemed like this is what all that my life was. I was telling another child that I've noticed that the most beautiful times, the mind will come and mix some mud into it and you will lose all recollection of the beauty of it and you will recognize it as a bad time. So be careful of this kind of thing because we must cherish these moments with God. We must value them. We must be so grateful that they happen. So when this comes, we must recognize the trickster.

Even today, Father, when you're sharing, I feel like what good fortune to be sitting in a satsang like this where you've simplified and you've broken it down to the minutest step, you know, for Atma Darshan from the Jnana Marg as well as the Bhakti Marg. And it can't be more—like, I don't know where...

I am this astounded at how God's grace functions things. You see, I'm astounded at how these things come. So I am with you as a brother in that, that I myself am learning so much from what the heart is sharing.

I know it is providing you the ammunition. Someone in the room can go to the mic? No, we couldn't come to you while the mic goes to the back. Okay. Just wanted to ask if you felt to share anything from the trip.

It was a beautiful trip. Um, I felt I could get used to that life. It will take some time to move from Bangalore to the heat of Tiruvannamalai, but otherwise the way of life—like one sister shared that she wakes up in the morning, goes to satsang with her favorite teacher, and now in Tiru every house is a teacher. Okay. So there's a big menu of teachers you can go to. So she goes in the morning to her favorite teacher's satsang. Then for lunch there are like many ashrams who are providing beautiful food. So you just stand in the queue over there and you get taken care of. Very blessed food. Then you have afternoon siesta. She had that. Then in the evening she goes—I don't know whether she said she goes to Ramanasramam or something like that—and then meditation, whatever practice, and then sleep. So it sounded like a very good life. Yes. Yes. But nothing in terms of the places that we saw. I couldn't say that I had an immediate, like, final 'this is it.' There's one which did appeal more than the others, but it wasn't like, 'This has to be, now we have to make this work.' It didn't come from the heart like that. So we're still waiting to see how that develops. And also there continues to be the feeling to explore some other places as well and see if something feels closer. The other thing also that is getting shown to me is that to have an ashram means to take on a lot of the management, you see, like management. And I just got free from managing an organization. So I don't know whether I want to get back into management in that way.

I'm sure we can manage something further with this.

It's tricky because it's, um, at least in organizations you have systems and hierarchies, you see. Now in this particular thing, conflict management, politics, all these things are very difficult because there is no hierarchy and I don't want to build any hierarchy. So it may be a bit strange. So that is one aspect. Maybe all of us, especially myself, has to mature a little bit more in that to be able to get to that point. So that is another consideration. But mostly it's just that life that God has not made it fully, fully clear. He just—you know what He does? He doesn't give you the final answer usually. He just says, 'For the moment, go there.' So we are just following that and that is the best for us at the moment, to just keep it like that, you see. So my attempt as always—my attempt as always is to make sure that Ananta is not getting into it. Like in the sharing of satsang or in the picking of where—what the future holds and where we go. If this foolish one gets into it, then everything will get very complicated. You were saying something.

You know, I was just saying that sometimes here it feels kind of shaky when I give in to the fact that God makes it like that. In a way, it feels very uncertain and very shaky. And I'm finding now that it's a time of sort of studying the year here in this life and studying lots of things. Then yeah, you're faced with this uncertainty because I don't want to do anything the old way, but then I'm faced with nakedness and just no ground.

No ground. Yeah. Yeah. And even though that's pure grace and you're expressing it very beautifully here, it still feels like, oh, sort of like there is an unsafety to that. Like, I don't know where to hold on to or something like that.

Yeah, I see. Yeah, it's there for everyone to some level and as we keep growing in our faith in God, then that fear reduces. Mostly—I won't say always, but mostly—I don't want to know because I want to taste every scene of the movie as it is playing out without spoilers. So you know, suppose that as a gift of whatever—if you say awakening or freedom or whatever—if suppose one of the gifts was that I always knew what is going to happen, then this life would become very, very difficult to live because I know every scene and I know every spoiler in this movie. So what happens is that the more we are grounded in God, the more we treat this Leela, this play, as a movie. So most of the fear gets squeezed out of that because, one, you're not that close to the character whose body-mind has been given the name Georgie or Ananta. You know, you don't feel as deeply involved as that one. So then you're not asking for spoilers. Like when I first got into spirituality, then I was in a very fearful state. I was checking—for the first time in my life I started checking horoscopes and things like that. Now, I haven't seen the horoscope for 20 years or something because why would you want to know? Even if that was true—which I don't want to rant about right now—but even if it was true, why would I want to know what my day is going to be like or my week is going to be like? It's only mostly because of fear that we want to know, isn't it?

It's fear. It's fear. It's all habits. It's all habits of gravity.

You want some reassurance. But the horoscope creators also know that they have to put some masala sometimes. So sometimes it's not all good news, you know, because then everybody would say it's a scam or something like that. So then when we see that we're going to have a bad week, then we just fall into that negativity also at times. I know you were not asking about horoscopes, but I'm just saying once you become more and more fearless—and I'm nowhere close to full fearlessness—but the feeling to have full certainty goes away. In fact, we start to enjoy that play of the movie. I don't know what the next step is and that seems more fun. You see, so if I was able to say that, 'No, in 2027 we will have a foundation for an ashram and Rishikesh, and this will be the place, and in 2029 we would have this, then 2035 this will happen,' you know, then 20 whatever, 'this one will die'—what is the fun left in this movie now?

Yeah, I guess it's just deep. It's just the old way of doing things. Even if you were never really a planner, at least you had an idea of what was coming next, you know, what was coming this year or something. You never really did have an idea, but you thought you did anyway. And you kind of moved in that way.

So this is good. You're preparing for ashram life. Looks like we'll get you here. If it happens, then it happens.

I would love to, Father. I don't know if I would get used to the summer heat of Tiru. That would be horrible.

This is the thing. Most of us have been spoiled by Bangalore.

Yeah, Bangalore has really good weather.

Yes. Yeah, that's true. So one time in satsang it came to say that we may be super enlightened, but if we don't have a chair to sit on, then all that we're looking for is a chair. In the sense that I remember from satsang with Guruji where there was very little space in the room and if you just had to stand and you know, you're looking, then most of the time you were just looking for, 'Is the chair free?' So that bodily comfort—we may say 'I'm not the body,' but when it's in discomfort, then it shows us how much of a body we still take ourselves to be. Yes. So this heat of Tiru is showing us, is giving us some indication of how body comfort is still important for me.

Yes, that's true. It's true. Father, something to think about, the whole winter ashram thing. Summer, winter.

This is the thing, if Georgie will fund us. But I feel that moving a little bit seriously—I feel like moving places, if we're open to it, it can give us the gift of humility to just keep going to new places in this world. Because if you're open to it, then there's always adjustments. There's always new things to learn. There's always openness that is needed and there's always new people. So we don't get too set in our ways by just staying in one place. This is very important.

I feel like moving places, if we're open to it, can give us the gift of humility to just keep going to new places in this world. Because if you're open to it, then there's always adjustments. There's always new things to learn. There's always openness that is needed and there's always new people. So we don't get too set in our ways by just staying in one place.

Very important. This is very important. What you're saying is very important; to live an insulated life can be very dangerous at times. Yes, I hear you on that fully. Thank you so much for sharing. You're very welcome. The other option is to look at a hub where there's already an ashram. Like in Rishikesh, there is a big ashram, Parmarth Niketan, which is by Muniji and that family, and they have satsang throughout the day. So we could just not have an ashram of our own. Just take places around that and use that as the hub. Many, many things are open right now. We don't know.

Wow.

I feel also that if it is like that, it will be like a bit like we are now where everybody has their own houses. There is some space that everybody can retreat to and, you know, not necessarily get involved in constant interaction. Constant interaction can also lead to this—I mean, keeping our best intentions aside, there's bound to be more conflict when we're constantly in each other's face, isn't it? So that could work well as well. So let's see. Most of these things become just conceptual adventures and we may just stay put here and not do anything at all.

I feel maybe not this time. Maybe this time something is about to happen. This time it is different.

I don't know. I don't know. So far, to put it simply, nothing has really fully clicked in my heart that this is it.

What's the next destination?

Next destination, Rishikesh maybe.

Rishikesh? When is that?

I don't know. Gemma goes to Delhi next week—not next week, the week after next week—so maybe sometime around that. I'm not sure.

Wow, okay. I hope I can be there for the next trip, you know, for whatever trip there is next time I'm there. I always miss your trips, Father.

Yes. You don't want to see trippy Ananta? No. Shivani is saying Australia. Maybe. Maybe I should add Argentina to the list as well.

We are finding 24 hours too far at the moment in Argentina. Quite a bit.

Renting an ashram or renting a house? Renting an ashram... I thought about it, but we don't want to be thrown out after being set in a place. For a long-term lease, you know, because we could, but a long-term lease, say 20 years, maybe similar in price to almost like buying, isn't it? I'm not thinking 20 years. I was thinking a few years because we could then move. Being stuck in one place and insulated... It is Rishikesh, it's Vrindavan, they are all God. How can we choose? How can we choose God from God?

She's adding more complexity. Bangalore is not in the list. Apparently, it is where you are. See, a few years in one place, then your heart may come up with something more concrete. Thank you for today. Bangalore is sounding very nice. Can I say something? Your ashram and your devotion to God is important. He appears to be visiting. God has a way of taking over this weather.

Yeah, we go next time to Tiruvannamalai. Let's try it. Let's try it. And if we can just release it. Like every time I was sitting with you in satsang, we forgot about the weather. You said you know you were sweating, but you just sat. Right? Unless somebody said, 'Oh yes, he's expecting us.' In the heat, nobody wanted to move, Father.

Hello. What are you doing on Zoom?

Listening to Father.

Oh, I'm saying you should be in the room.

Zoom. Yes. Good. Something came to my mind. I don't know if it's logic or not. How would you feel about hiring someone to operate the ashram? Some company or someone?

Yeah, if I can hire someone who will make sure that satsang sisters and brothers fighting can be taken care of, then is there somebody like that we can hire? A conflict management expert?

This is you, Father.

This is the thing. So I don't want Maya to trap me in such a way that this becomes primary in my life. I see. So there are many, many things that the heart has to make clearer yet. And you learn from the experience of all the sages and what they have said. Some have loved the aspect of an ashram; some have said that ashrams are dens of thieves, you know? So all kinds of contradictory guidance is available from the sages. So we just have to see what happens in the heart.

Like they also have every contradictory thing. They take our life, all the sages.

Everything. Exactly. Exactly. Good. So happy that you made it safe and sound. Because I was concerned, the war started at the same time. And God always bless you.

Thank you. Thank you, brother.

But we must never let the topic of ashram get in the way of our leading our inner renunciate life. Ashram, no ashram—all that will change. It's all in front of us. What is more important is: are we with God right now? So as playfully as possible, as lovingly as possible, we will move in the direction life takes us. But may that never become paramount. Sam wants to come.

Thank you, Father. Is it okay? It's manageable. We can try like this, or if you can wait just a second, I can take my headphones. Okay.

Yes, please. You can. Yeah, we need more than a conflict manager. We want a tantrum manager job role open. Anybody want that? Is that better?

Much, much better. Okay, thanks for waiting. You're welcome. Just a second thought. I'm just so happy to hear about this ashram thing, Father. I will not put more into that now. I know that God will take care of it and you will just follow your heart and everything will unfold so gracefully. But I'm just so happy to hear that you will also move. For years, I was feeling that you need some fresh air, just nature. So I'm just so happy about that. As soon as I heard, I felt so happy and I know that it just flows so graciously. And yeah, hope to be with you there when it happens.

Father, I don't know if we have time, but I was hearing you saying, maybe years back, you were just saying that God has power to change the past. And I never, ever understood that. And I'm just in a place where, you know, Father, for me the past—you just know it a little bit—but it was like a complete closed door and I was not even remembering things. A complete rejection with all its traumas, everything, and even panic attacks. Even someone from the past, it was like I'd never seen them, Father. It was like complete rejection for me. But what happened is that a very surprising event happened, Father, and I saw someone from my past. It was such a God arrangement that He gave me power to even be happy to see that person. First of all, I just want to thank God for that. He just brought me into such a state that I didn't run, but I can even be happy and everything can be managed.

Yeah. But still, like tonight, I couldn't sleep because the remembering of some event came and I just burned with that. Oh, Father, I just want to understand and see what you say because to be in that state is just so godly, just so full of grace. I don't want to talk more about this, but still, the past and all its events are still there and they are not acceptable, Father. It was a life which was out of complete dignity, Father, like undignified. I don't know how it is called. I just want to call that grace. I don't know what you mean, Father, but I'm just waiting here in the past and I just want to invite God's light here and also again want to thank for that opportunity to be here.

And one thing. Yeah, I'm still lying and I just want to confess that I'm lying without lying. It's just like a professional kind of lie because I don't still have the strength to face things. But yeah, I think I just want to speak with you in the middle of all these things and want to thank you. Maybe I'll still live on this mic. Maybe you just mute for a while because they're going back. I'm sorry then. Thank you. So I was saying that I'm still lying. I'm lying to my mother about the length of satsang still. So I have to stop lying.

God can change the past. The limitation that we put on God is based on our presumed experience of the world. And in our experience of the world, we call it the arrow of time which moves forward, you see, which seems to only move forward. And therefore, the way we look at it is that apparently we are in some present now and we move into the future. But actually, somewhere intuitively we know that that is not true. But the bigger thing is that we put that same limitation on God. You see, when we pray, we are praying for something to change in the future, something to be different, something better. But we don't presume, because of our limited mind and intellect, that for Him, past and future are nothing. They're the same. It doesn't make a difference. He can change everything in the snap of a finger, in the blink of an eye.

And we may not even realize it, but He may change the past and we are left with no memory of that traumatic event. Or the memory may be replaced with some other memory which is not so troublesome. So past, present—all of this is a very, very tiny thing for God. Like in our human discovery also, we are finding that it's not as straightforward as our mind and intellect will make it out to be. In our observations in science, we are finding that out. But for God, who is all-powerful... so are we saying God is all-powerful except He can't do anything about the past?

Because the happenings and events are certain, Father. It seems like they happened and we know them, and other people also. Unfortunately, that's the important part for me. They knew, they knew.

Let me ask you a question. So we may feel that the past is solidified because they are happenings and events which already happened. No. Now suppose that you went to sleep tonight and you had a dream. You see, in that dream you're walking on a road. A man comes up to you and says, 'Sister, where are you coming from?' Will you say, 'I don't know, my dream just started. Don't ask me. Ask me later'? No. You won't say no. You will say, 'I'm coming from that road which is there. I've been walking for ten minutes.' So where is that ten minutes? Where is that road? Where is that house where you came from? You are just reporting from memory.

And what is the validity of memory? Like, how do we know anything? How do we know there is linear time anyway? It is just because attention is bringing some changing, apparently changing perception to us. Therefore, we are presuming a forward movement of something that we are calling time, you see. So let's say that even if there is a solid happening, an event that happened in the past, all of it is solid. So is God not solid enough to break that which happened solidly in the past? Is God less solid than those events? Is He restricted by the linearity of time? Is He? No. He's like the author of the book who can—I'm putting it simplistically now—He's like the author of the book who can go and revise any chapter He wants. He's like the director of the movie who can change any scene to what He wants. So just simply know that we are not trapped by our past. In our prayer, our entire life—past, present, future—everything is getting transformed. You see? And for God, it's very simple because He can just work with the tiny aspect of consciousness called memory.

He's like the author of the book who can—I'm putting it simplistically now—so he's like the author of the book who can go and revise any chapter he wants. He's like the director of the movie who can change any scene to what he wants. So just simply just know that we are not trapped by our past in our prayer. Our entire life—past, present, future, everything—is getting transformed. You see? So, and for God it's very simple because he can just work with the tiny aspect of consciousness called memory. What is the big deal to change memory? So, but I'm saying that even that so-called happening of events for him to change is not such a big thing.

I did not experience what we are talking about.

How you know? How do you know?

Father?

No, really. How do you know that you have not experienced this?

I'm still suffering this event when I remember. And it's not just for me, Father.

No, that's not what I meant. I meant that how do you know that there were many other things which God has already changed?

Say it again.

How do you know that there were not many other things also which God has not already changed? We don't actually know. So I really feel in my heart that what I feel like this one's life went through, he has changed a lot of that from what it was. So where is the struggle? We struggle with where we put the boundary of our intellect. Isn't it like we categorize something as not possible? You see, so maybe we should do some Zen koans in the next few weeks so we break the limitations of the intellect and we become a little freer about...

Please, Father. And may I just pray, Father? Yes. I don't know. I still cannot handle the shame and the—how it is called, like the opposite of dignity? What is that as a word? Opposite of dignity. What is the dignity? How it is called? I don't know. I, Father, because it's not just I know. Okay. Because I forgive myself. It's okay. Just they lead me to God. We can put it like this. I don't know. I wish anyway. But the people also know that it's just such a shame and it's such a bad thing, you know, out of dignity. I just want to—I don't know. I just want to save my dignity. Father, I don't know how to pray, but this is what I just want.

Yes, ma'am. Yes. So, few things. One is that people don't actually care as much as we think they do. They're too busy with their own stuff to worry about other people's stuff so much.

It's not good to be known like this, Father. It's not. You feel the burden of it and you just cannot be yourself. Just you feel that burden.

Yes. Yes. So know that then know that some of the greatest saints—like I don't know if you've heard of St. Mary of Egypt. Um, there was a saint called Walmikiji in India. So Walmikiji apparently murdered what, a thousand people? He murdered a thousand people and then he just somehow maybe came across a sage or something and then wanted to change his ways and just did so much sadhana, did so much prayer to God that he ended up becoming one of the greatest sages of India and his retelling of the Ramayan is one of the most beautiful scriptures ever written. So, remember that if you transform your life now, the extent of what you have gone through till where you can go to could be an inspiration for so many forever. It's, um, these—like I was saying earlier—these people were not aliens. They were just like us. They dealt with the same things. So we just have to walk their path that they have shown us. Also we must celebrate the fact that this entire sangha loves you and doesn't care about anything about your past.

Because they didn't anyway, okay?

So don't have to worry about—I promise you even if you tell them what you think is the most shocking thing, they will not be shocked. And I have some sense of what you're going to say and I am not shocked. It is all that you've gone through is natural for any child to have gone through in your circumstances and I don't feel like you were to blame at all for any of that and there is nothing, nothing in my love for you that gets affected by any of that past and I can say that for most of my children, if not all of my children in the sangha as well. So yeah, then we must also pray for our brothers and sisters who are not that lucky to have access to a loving family in this way, who are still stuck in those situations, you see. So just know that you are loved, you are cared for. We don't care about any of that. If that helps.

It is not a thing. Are those people more important or us? I don't know. No, no, I don't know. It doesn't—no, no. I would say something else. I say okay. I said I don't know for—okay, of course you—but I think this thing, I'm sorry Father, I know that you are tired but we continue. I don't want to take long but I want to say that I think I always wanted to, I don't know, like clean my reputation or something. I was obsessed with it because of the heaviness of this. So maybe this is why...

May your love for God and may your closeness, may your light become that strong that that overrides all that is, um, that was full of darkness in the past. May it just—may your life be taken over with a crazy love for God so much that you never have the time to dwell on what happened in the past and worry about what people who don't matter think about you. That is my blessing to you.

Thank you, Father. I don't care so much about the past but what people think about me. So yeah, I'm inviting your grace of that.

May God change every thought in their head and make it about God.

Amen.

Amen.

For all of us. Thank you, Father. I love you so much, Father. Thank you for being in my life, Father. You are just—I don't know. Ah, Father, you are really like what God should be. Nowhere else I taste such a thing. It just—you're miraculous. Thank you. Thank you.

Let's go to Radheshyam Ji. Thank you. Bless you. Bless you so much. Okay, let's go to—is Anu able to come?

Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. Can you hear me now?

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much, Ananta Ji. I just would like to ask you if you could pray for my health of my body.

Of your body. Yes. Tell me something.

Yes, there is some constant pain in my digestive system, abdomen, some stomach. I don't know what it is but the doctor didn't find anything so far. So I go to some other investigation but it is here for me for now and keeps me in a stress because I don't want to leave yet. Actually I would like to stay here with you and I don't know what is—what do you mean by leave? I don't know. I just—you know, always when something in my body, I always think about the worst thing and there is nothing in my hand yet that I can say this is the fact or something and this makes me so much worry about, you know, to lose this precious life because I don't know what comes after this, if I can meet anyone like you or you know, I don't know. I want to use this...

You're not going anywhere. Don't don't.

No. Thank you.

We are not letting you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Is enough for me.

By God's grace, may you be so blessed that you have many years of living in his love and light and full Atma Darshan. May you be blessed by the highest and may God give you a lifespan where you enjoy his presence as well. I love you.

Love you too, my dear.

Thank you. Happy home.