Our Life Has To Become an Unceasing Prayer to God - 11th February 2026

So if we cannot remain in God's presence, then we must remain in God's name, which is the same as the self-inquiry. Which sounds strange if you haven't heard it before, but for many weeks we've been talking about that the dissolution of the 'me' takes us to the reality. Whichever way we are not buying into the false notion of 'me', then that is prayer. So to remain in prayer, which brings us to God's presence, is what we must do as an antidote to the constant time thievery of Maya. Thievery. The thieving nature of Maya is to steal time from us.

So when we talk about vigilance, about stillness, about being stable, it is to remain in that stability no matter what the external provocation may be. You lost the internet. So everything is happening today. So if the power goes, then the drill can't work. He opened the window. You can use the phone. I have used it; it seems to be all right for the moment. So Maya being called a thief, you see, is very apt because she steals time from us. So we must learn to use every moment. The other thing we must remember is that the perfect is the enemy of the good. You see, so you may say, 'Oh, I don't have time to pray today because I have only five minutes and then I have to go.' But that five minutes of prayer is very helpful. So use whatever time is available even if you have two seconds to say Ram. You said Ram once. You added a brick to the temple in your heart. You made the foundation of your heart stronger in that one moment.

See, so the unceasing nature of prayer will not happen if you keep falling for these tricks. And days like today are when the rubber hits the road. See? Because it is days like today where your teacher can also feel like a buzzkill. Buzzkill. You know the term. Just buzzing with excitement. In comes the teacher. This used to happen in my work parties at work. Everybody's so happy and they're drinking and all of that and enjoying themselves. Then like as a customary thing, you know, they say, 'Okay, you have to meet everyone.' So I would go to every group and talk to them. So the texture of that conversation would kill the buzz. You see? But remember that a true joy has a different texture.

So, Maya's replacement for a true joy is what? Pleasure. Pleasure. Excitement. You know that it's got a different—I don't want to say tamasic, but almost tamasic nature. Rajasic, but almost rajasic nature. You're right. Opposite of stillness. Opposite of stillness. Yeah, it's like the opposite of restlessness. Yes, that's right. So, it's important to talk about these things especially on days when, like she said, Maya is strong today and then everything will happen. And when it rains, it pours. See? So all the distractions will happen, the lights will go off, everything will happen. Everything to take us away from the real project at hand.

Now, why does Maya want to steal a moment from you? It wants to test if you are really up for God. But it could be that moment that makes all the difference. Do we really know? We don't really know. You see, so it could be that one moment that makes all the difference. So that one moment could change the trajectory of our life. That one moment of going to Maya could take us to a different direction. And that moment of staying in God's presence could change the very dimension of our life. But once he bought into a notion, then one who comes and reminds you that, 'No, are we forgetting God in all of this?' may not seem like the helpful one at that moment.

So those who are lovers of God and those who aspire to share His name, to share His light, must learn to carry Him, His presence, wherever we go. I notice in myself that in Maya's events, temptations, urgencies, I see more and more Ananta here in those times. You see, and that is good because that gives us the opportunity to spot and to exercise, to practice the returning. I wonder if all of you can also see that, no? That when something happens—we get a phone call or there's something coming up or something happened, a medical issue happened, something, you see—and we find more and more falling into the 'me-ness' rather than returning to the stillness. This is where the true exchange, or I don't know if there's a word for it, the interchange of love between the highest and our soul can happen.

So I heard somewhere—I don't know if this is true—but it is said that the definition of the Upanishads, the word Upanishad, is to sit close and hear. To sit close and hear. You see, and so what does that remind you of? At least it reminds me of the Mary and Martha story. All of you know that story. So it's very important when things seem urgent, full-on, critical, that we remain as Mary sitting close to God's presence. And fundamentally again, this is about faith, isn't it? So if God was here as a physical body, then that may not have even been a question or a guidance that we would need because then we would say, 'Okay, now.' But when it does come as physical bodies, because our faith is not that much, or those ones who lived in the times of the incarnation, their faith was not that much. God was barely recognized as God.

You see, but if God came in the Virat, which is the big universal form, the form in which all universes are born and they die, then this would not be even needed to be spoken about. You with me? So but the very one whose imagery is that strong that we can't even fathom it, that very one lives in our heart constantly, but He lives in a continuous neglect. You see, so when we see this imagery which is so vast and on the outer, then that should serve as a reminder that that is the one who sits in my heart. He is the one. She is the one who sits in my heart. And what is the state of our relationship with Him or Her? And how will that relationship grow? You see, how will it grow? By creating more distance? Maybe it works in some worldly things where you say, 'I need some space.' But this relationship doesn't grow with more space. It grows with more remaining in the presence. To spend time with Him is how to deepen our love for Him or deepen in our reflection of His love for us.

So how should we live? We should live life jacket on, then engage in Maya. Not engage in Maya, then remember about the life jacket and then go looking for it; you'll never find it. So the life jacket being His remembrance, His name, His presence. Let's keep that on. And this is not again—I'm not speaking from a pedestal—this is my current practice. That the most intense of activity, the most intense decision making, the most intense things that call out to our attention: Can we remain in God's presence through it? Can I remain in God's remembrance through it all? And what it needs is just to—what I'm finding is that all that it needs is to just slow down. Yeah, getting this point. This is important because these are things that all of us are encountering. How to stay in God's presence unceasingly. Our life has to become an unceasing prayer to God.

You see, why doesn't it become something? It could be any nonsensical thing, just, 'Oh no, this is important.' The interpersonal becomes important, you see, and we snap out of our true relationship. We forget about our true relation. So I'm saying just if you're using God's name, then stay with it. Down, down, down, down. As you stay with that, then for a while your mind will try to make you fearful about the loss of opportunity in the world, as if the world can give you something. But it makes us fearful about these things, and then if you are able to go through that fear, just allow that fear to come and go. You may notice that you find yourself much slower in your outer engagement than you were in the past. You see, but that slowness is holy. Now, slowness does not mean hands are moving slowly or mouth is moving slowly. Slowness means we're not using so many tactics trying to figure out, figure out, do this, do that. We're not doing any of that. You see, and that is the only way we can stay in God's will.

Can you stay in God's will without being in His remembrance? Can't we? So everything is interconnected: to live in His will, to be in His presence, to remember His name, to pray, to come to Marifa, to come to that dazzling darkness where our soul is getting transformed into spirit, you see. But we would rather waste time, like Maya would rather have us waste time. Let me put it that way. You see, now whose side are you on? Now the texture of the battle is clear. Clear? Yes. Then whose side are you on? And how do you know that? Okay, right now I can take Maya's side, but I will have millions of other opportunities. God can wait. And it can seem like an absurd call that we make, but we are constantly making it. And I'm talking about myself here.

The time thing that you'll have to account for every atom of time—instead of moment, he says atom is smaller—so every atom you'll have to answer to God: 'What did you use that time for?' And then he says that God made it so much easier because He never gave you a future. He didn't tell you anything about the future. So you can't complain, 'Oh, I was bewildered by the future.' He says, but nobody knows the future. So you only have this one moment. And he says all it takes is one true moment, like just fully giving yourself to God without any expectation. Just from pure love, one moment is enough. Yes. And that was so, so beautiful. You know, that one moment of just pure giving is that one moment of pure humility, you see.

Because if you're in the grasp of Maya, you can be certain that you're in the grasp of pride. And then when we say that, we get into a despair about our pride or our condition. That is again the second trick of Maya, the two-punch, you see. Because let's just lament about our condition instead of just running to God. You see, so many times in hearing Satsang, many of us fall into a despair because then we are not hearing the essence of it. And the essence of it is that we may be foolish, but He is very merciful. Is it? But both are important. And if we don't see yet that we really don't know anything, then we are in the grasp of pride. Like we know a lot of things, but it's all garbage. But it is garbage posing as true knowledge. It will not buy you one moment of love. You sell all the mental knowledge that you have. What will you buy? What will it buy? Not one moment of love. Not one moment of God's presence.

Not hearing the essence of it, and the essence of it is that we may be foolish but He is very merciful. Is it? But both are important. And if we don't see yet that we really don't know anything, then we are in the grasp of pride. Like we know a lot of things, but it's all garbage. But it is garbage posing as true knowledge. It will not buy you one moment of love. You sell all the mental knowledge that you have. What will you buy? What will it buy? Not one moment of love. Not one moment of God present. So till we don't come to humility, not only do we not live with God, we also continue to suffer because we only suffer our pride. And pride is only pride of knowing. So this is the key, isn't it? Like we may say, do you get angry? Do you get irritated? That's a master key. Very useful. But fundamentally are we still suffering? Then there is some pride that is keeping us at a distance from God's light, from God's presence. What do you find about yourself in that moment that you can be with her? What do you find?

Security. Yeah. Security.

Yes. But what do you find about yourself or the self that you took yourself to be? Okay. So I used to use these absurd examples in satsang. So I used to say it's like we're trying to enter the doorway of heaven carrying this backpack with the 'me' monkey in that, but there's a metal detector right there or a 'me' detector right there. It doesn't allow you to pass through. So unless you breathe the 'me' out, it can't happen. You see, if you keep inhaling the 'me' like that, then you will not find yourself in God's presence. You just breathe it out. So what makes it seem difficult? What makes it seem difficult is when we try to become that—we try to become humble as somebody. What is needed is the humility in this moment. Can you still hear me at the back or now it's very difficult?

What is needed is moment to moment, but we want to insert the humility into our narrative. And because that narrative itself is pride, therefore it seems like an impossible task. Now, now, now be empty now. Don't be anybody right now. Just now. Don't become somebody who is now humble because that one is not. This one moment. Can you give your heart to God? This one moment. Can you give your heart to God? This one moment. Can you give your heart to God? If it doesn't come from your heart, then all of satsang will just remain mental this moment. Who do you belong to? Who do you belong to now?

So okay, it's a bit of a digression but very beautiful, at least I found as it came up just now, that suppose you had a cat, you see. The cat's name was Henry. So every experience that you have with Henry somewhere gets encapsulated in his name Henry, isn't it? Like when you remember Henry, then it's not just the name Henry that comes to you; it's everything. The texture of your relationship comes with you, you see. So every moment of your surrender, of your love, of your even wrestling with Maya gets encapsulated in God's name as you remember His name. You see, that's the power of His name. You see, so if you say a name, then it is not just a word anymore, isn't it? That this reminder of the label, the name, brings to you all that which it—every connotation that it has, every texture that it has. You see, you may say Henry. Then you may say, "Oh, I love cats." You see, so suppose you spend a lot of time loving cats. Then you say Henry, then all that memory of that is contained in that in some way. It's difficult to put in words but you must get a sense of what you're saying.

So if you hear Guru or you hear God or you hear Ram or you hear Allah or you hear Krishna, you see those words are not just words anymore. But the more we deepen our relationship with God, the more charged they become with His life. You see, so the more time you spend loving God, then you don't have to remember and say, "But I loved you so much for the last 10 years, 15 years." Just in remembering the name itself brings that love alive for you. You see, we were joking with one sister about love in her life. So we said his name is Giorgio. So Giorgio is not just a name anymore. You see, not just a label, isn't it? It brings so much more because you remember that time when you were young. You remember the feeling that you had in your heart. Everything comes with the name. You see, so that is such a beautiful simple way to be with God. It's just to take His name costs nothing. You can take it with your mouth, tongue, in your mind, in your heart and then ultimately wordlessly. But because you hear ultimately wordlessly, you should not feel—pride should not come in the way and say, "I will be Mr. Ultimate only." Huh? That then becomes a Maya trick to keep you from taking His name. Yeah.

So therefore, we must not fall into the trap of "this is the highest path, this is the lowest path." It's all rubbish. You see? And what makes us feel like we must have only the highest path? Are we the highest? Somewhere that must be there. No, they say that "I want only the highest path." Therefore, we must be feeling like the highest is entitled to the highest path. So there is no such thing as the highest path or the lower path. Every pathway to God is holy. The other thing is that our pride comes in the way that if it is too simple, then it can't be that effective. You know, what you have to do is nothing so intellectual. And last time we discussed how our intellectual pride is all rubbish, huh? We feel it's such a great thing to do the self-inquiry. You see, it is the most innocent, simplest, most beautiful process to do the self-inquiry. But it is nothing great, see, in the sense that it doesn't make us into somebody great just because we are doing self-inquiry. What are we doing? We are asking a very simple question: Who am I? Even a child can ask that. You see, then when the mind is offering an answer, then we are saying very, very simply, "Who witnesses that?"

Or if you're doing the neti-neti, such a simple intellectual process which has been made into something so great, like we have become something so great because we do neti-neti. What is it? That which is changing is not your reality. You see, therefore, isn't it somebody in the third standard who can say, "Okay, therefore, I am not the world. I'm not the body. I am not my thoughts. I'm not my emotions." What is so intellectually challenging in that? It isn't. So, we are not to be prideful about all of these simple ways to God. All ways to God are bound to be simple. But in our pride, we will not eat the fruit of that practice. We will say, "Oh, I have been told I have to take God's name 100,000 times." So I will just say it 100,000 times, which is beautiful. But you will never give God a chance to speak. You just keep saying, "I'm finishing, I'm finishing, finishing." Maybe He heard your call and wants to tell you something, no? Or show you something.

So allowing like a construct of a true relationship is where we also learn to listen. The true prayer comes to its highest when we allow ourselves to be empty, open, receptive. And it is the calling many times that can give us the spiritual momentum to fall into that stillness of open, empty, and receptive. It is that same stillness which comes when you ask yourself, "Who am I?" because it is not an invitation to solve it in your intellect. It is an invitation to the revelation. You see, it is the invitation to the revelation that can only happen in the light of the Atma through the eyes of the spirit itself. The same invitation in the neti-neti. The same invitation in the Zen koan. That invitation to that stillness. You see, because in that stillness is where the true love, the true beauty, the truth is revealed. You cannot carry any pride into that moment. That moment of revelation of Atma Darshan must be met in a sheer—must be invited in a sheer humility, in a sheer nobody-ness.

But that moment of revelation the mind can use to make us proud. So we have to be vigilant towards that. One tip about that is that if you don't take the moment of revelation to be a finality, instead we take it to be a doorway to lead a life in, then you will find that if you find yourself getting proud, then that moment is lost. If you remain in that humility, it continues. You see, it is your new home. It is not something that you visit and then you show everybody the photo. No, that is a mistake we are making in modern spirituality also, that "I saw that. I saw that." See, so are you not seeing it now? And if you're not seeing it now, then of what value is it? Except for you to become proud about it. Getting the thing?

So humility as a lifestyle, as a lifetime project. And I can tell you very clearly that when I do a diagnostic report on this one, so far removed from humility that I can't tell you the extent of my pride. And the more I pray, the more it is revealed to me. And then what to do when this reveals? When our absence of love reveals itself, then instead of despair, we must turn to His mercy. But it's very tricky because our mind can make His mercy into an entitlement, which it isn't. You see, you can say, "Yes, I am foolish but He is merciful," you see, but then I can therefore continue to be as foolish because He is merciful. That is not the intention behind saying it. It is very important to recognize, to have that heartfelt feeling to improve our ways. But when faced with the depth of our conditioning and our ignorance, then to rely on His mercy rather than fall into despair. So it's not like a cop-out that "I'm full of pride but He is merciful, let's chill." It's not that. This is to deepen our fervor in our prayer.

The great Indian sage Surdas said, who was one of the most pristine sages we've ever had—he said, "Lord, please don't take my bad virtues or absence of virtue into account." What is he talking about? He's such a pure sage. "Must be just showing off," so people will say, "Wow," like that. Do you feel like sages like that had that tendency? No, it is not about that. It is just the deeper you go in prayer, you will find yourself in such a contrast. As St. Teresa of Avila said, the more you dive into His magnificence, the more we will see this object in Maya and see how far removed it is and continue to see how special it still takes itself to be. On one level it sounds very scary, but on the other level it sounds very beautiful.

Yes.

You see, so between that we must stay, you see, just on the cusp of that. On one level it sounds very scary, at one level it sounds very beautiful. Just right in the middle. Right in the middle. Because that's where we won't become complacent. We won't become prideful. Another great sage, Baba Farid Ji, said, "I wasted all my life and now all my hair is turned white. I don't have enough time to make amends. But You please have mercy on me." How are great sages like this saying, "I wasted my life"? And how is it that when we are so stuck in the world, we don't say this? This is the strangeness of the hypnosis, isn't it? We just feel that this is it. This is the normal way to live. You see, but spending time in the light of the spirit then shows us more and more what we need to be free from and how much space we need to create for God's love. How much garbage is still festering within ourselves.

Baba Farid said, and this may sound controversial, but it really isn't—he said that if I knew how handsome my husband is, I would have slept with him long ago. But now I'm too old. You see, now I'm too old. So all of these constructs in every form of spirituality, be it the Song of Songs, be it the Rasa Lila, be it all of these which depict the love—it has to use the language of love because that is the only language that we know how to put words in. But it is talking about the soul and the spirit. It is talking about our Antahkarana and the Atma. And that true, the purest bond of love is what he's talking about and pointing out for himself and for all of us, that we are wasting the opportunity for the highest. Oh, heat. So what are you doing today? What medicine are you taking today to inoculate yourself from Maya? That is always the question. Most will tell you and they are probably right.

That is the only language that we know how to put words in, but it is talking about the soul and the spirit. It is talking about our antahkarana and the Atma, and that true, purest bond of love is what he's talking about and pointing out for himself and for all of us—that we are wasting the opportunity for the highest. So what are you doing today? What medicine are you taking today to inoculate yourself from Maya? That is always the question.

Most will tell you, and they are probably right—I am more foolish—most will tell you that you must have that medicine for your life. I'm saying let's start with the day. What is today's medicine to keep you away from Maya? You see, and more and more I've been talking about this. I don't want to know which medicines you know about. You see, I don't even want to know as much now about which medicine you're picking and what is the highest medicine or the lowest medicine, all of that. I want to know more and more: what are you taking today? Is your intention just to be with the sense 'I am' all day? Beautiful medicine. Is your medicine today to take God's name all day? Beautiful medicine. Is your medicine to do the self-inquiry all day today? Beautiful. Whatever medicine you have in your cabinet, don't just keep collecting it; take one every day.

You see, and let nothing take you away from that. You see, then in that, if there is a lifetime medicine which resonates most with us in our heart, then that will reveal itself. But don't waste today also on collecting newer medicine and then deciding how nice this is or how effective this may be. You see, I can say all of this because I have a lot of this collecting thing. I was just collecting, collecting books and collecting quotes and collecting knowledge and collecting, you see, but collecting, collecting. But make sure that you apply, because in that collector's fallacy, we feel that collected knowledge is applied knowledge. It isn't that.

So, what is the medicine that you're taking today and how is that working for you? If you find yourself continuing to be attached to worldly things, then are you taking the medicine or did you forget the dose? Everything that I'm sharing is from my own current experience. These are the challenges that I face on a daily basis. So I'm just sharing from there. Everyone has a medicine for today. For the rest of the day, everyone on Zoom, you know what is a medicine? Don't wait for that event to happen or something to happen and then go picking, saying inquiry or prayer or what should I do? I should just stay with God. You see, because then that will never happen.

If there's a decision still about that to be made when Maya is tempting you, saying 'come, come,' you see, then it's going to grab you most likely. You see, but if you know, okay, irritation is starting to form in the head in that way, then the more you have practiced it, then more and more that irritation will not turn into anger. That simple single thought of being right about something will not turn into pride if you nip it at the bud with the medicine. You will not leave God's presence that easily. Then now, with some of the—I'm rambling on too much, isn't it? Okay, just one last point maybe.

So, some of the traditional teachers that I've been following now also give us a simple construct, which is that if it becomes impossible for us to leave our old narratives and jump directly into empty, you see, then use the provisional holy narratives. Which means that they will give us some very simple-sounding but beautiful narratives on which you can live your whole life. You see, so they say that every time you take God's name, you're adding to your spiritual wealth, which is the only true wealth you can ever have. Such a simple construct. You see, a simple construct then sets a contrast between this ephemeral little grasping and just taking God's name, remembering Him. And when the mind counters it saying, 'But why are you wasting your life?' you say, 'No, this is my only true wealth.' He said, he said, 'This is my only true wealth,' and he's such a great sage, he knows what he's saying. Is it a narrative? Of course it is. Of course it is. But then it makes you empty of all other narrative stories.

So pick something like that which resonates with you in your heart. If direct, open, and empty seems difficult from your own experience day-to-day—and remember, don't get trapped in that highest-lowest rubbish, because if you get trapped in that highest thing, then you'll say, 'No, I'll be empty, I'll just be empty,' and the slightest provocation: gone, emptiness. An experiment to do, if you feel like you can just naturally be empty, is that one day just spend taking God's name throughout the day. Because if you can be empty without the anchor of God's name, then to spend the day taking God's name is going to be the simplest day for you. But if you think that you can just be empty without being anchored in love or His name, then your mind has tricked you into a different trick—that you are spiritually very accomplished, you can just be in that directness, but taking God's name is difficult.

Let the active part of the process lead you to the passive part of the process. Unless you really know in your heart that you will just—the only active part of the process you need is—and then you're just lost in love. Not even relying on the anchor of love, just empty. Come what may. But you have to be true to yourself because there is—even if you were to fool the whole world, you cannot fool God. You may make the most powerful speeches and convince the world about your freedom, but you still have to live with yourself and one day you have to report to God. So authenticity, integrity—when Maharaj used to talk about integrity, I don't feel like I really got it. Now I'm starting to see how important it is. Reverence for the audience of one and not the audience of many. Good intensity—is there intensity rather than any other goodness?

See, the trap of a presumed understanding of God's will will only be broken when we live more and more in His presence. You see, otherwise the mind will create a construct about what His will is and a presumption that it must be that, and we don't actually end up meeting it. You see? Yes. So let me give an analogy first. So suppose you took a new job. Now, in this new job, you have a manager. You see, now the manager gave you an initial briefing about what is expected from you. Then for the next one year, you never met that manager. You just presumed, based on something initial, that this is what she wants you to do. Then after one year, you go for your salary raise appraisal time. And the manager says, 'What have you been doing all this time?' And you say, 'I've been doing what you wanted me to do.' So what did she say? 'How do you know what I want you to do? You haven't met me.'

So the same way, if we lose God but we still feel like we are following God's will, then we get trapped in Maya. So I love that Sufi statement: 'You will be paid by the master you serve.' If you serve Maya, what will you be paid by? Huh? Death, ultimately. Suffering, maybe some excitement, some—

An example? Anything like, how do you know that God wanted you to go left or right only if you were with Him and then you got that? How can I be imagining I'm following?

Yes, because you—let's take some example. So like he was saying, even the goodness thing could be a trap.

Just imagine I'm doing good to somebody, but instead of waiting and—

It is not good unless it comes from God. So let's take anything that we are—that typical—I want to find a new example, but only this one is coming. So, nobody—we've lived in this world for thousands of years and beggars have lived in this world for thousands of years, but still we've not been able to crack the problem of should we give beggars money or not, you see? So how do we know whether that's good or not? Then we try to put an ethical construct. How do we know? 'He looked like he's going to go and buy a bottle of alcohol, you see, so therefore I didn't give.' But we don't really know.

The only goodness is if you were in God's presence and allowed Him to move us in that time, instead of applying a presumed idea of what we think His will is. In fact, a lot of social evils came from a presumed idea of following God's will, like untouchability, like purity and, you know, like a lot of this is in our tradition, of course it's a lot, but even Christianity about being clean and unclean, even religious warfare. You know, these kind of things can come from a very presumed idea of right and wrong instead of actually living in God's presence and allowing it to move from there.

You see, so in fact, it causes a lot of trouble because we just feel like this has to be right because this is God's will. It has to be right to kill those who oppose our religion. If that becomes a presumed idea, then that can lead to the crusades. You know, both sides are fighting, killing millions of people because both sides are feeling the other one is attacking my religion.

That's why Jesus Christ got such a backlash.

Exactly. That's why Lord Jesus got such a backlash from the Pharisees. You're right. Because they presumed that they are the ones who know the scripture, or they know they have the presumed knowledge of God's will. But that presumed knowledge of God's will prevented them from recognizing God Himself.

All the Indian gods got backlash.

Yeah, all got backlash, you see, because many times, mostly, God's will as it is playing out moment to moment will find itself at odds with presumed ideas of godliness. Exactly.

Can you say more? This audience just can get confused. So how you behave when in front of other people, how do you behave when no one is looking, like also—

Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. That when I'm surrounded by people, then I show everyone how charitable I am, but if nobody's ever going to find out, then I'm very tightfisted like that. Exactly what you're saying.

Like you wouldn't steal in front of a hundred people, but if you were alone and nobody looking up at that—

Exactly. Although you won't steal in front of a hundred people, then they'd probably beat you up.

So it just seems like if nobody was there, how do you really behave?

It's much more complicated in today's crazy world because now we are living in this so-called post-truth world. So where is—like you can be the biggest thief, but as long as you're able to convince everyone that it's not thievery.

Yeah. But also like when you said that when you were trying to not be the god to speak directly and not have this. So is that also any man like who say that?

Yeah. I find myself in Satsang so many times saying things which are self-glorifying. You see, not capital S, but Ananta-glorifying. And I look at that and I notice that in that moment I lost the servitude to God. You see, it's just about this one, this foolish one. So that is the constant project.

That's like the—

Exactly. It may sound, it may even sound very cool to all of you. It may actually have nothing to do with Ananta and may sound very cool, but may have nothing to do with love for God. You see, and with the idea that they are going to be so impressed with what is being said. They're going to be so impressed.

It's very tricky. It's also like there is an intention to help the other, but it's still not coming from God. Like the intention is there, but I'm not waiting for God to guide us as to how. So that is also—

Yes. So that is the Pharisee. No?

No. The Pharisees were like—a Pharisee?

Pharisees. The Pharisees thought they were serving God, but they were not waiting for God to guide them in the heart. They were serving what they thought is the law. There was not a difference between the law and religion in that time. So when they said the law, they were talking about religion.

My question is different. I see what you're saying. You say, 'I want to help another.'

So that is also... yes. So that is the Pharisee, no? The Pharisees were thought they were serving God, but they were not waiting for God to guide them in the heart. They were serving what they thought is the law. There was not a difference between the law and religion in that time. So when they said the law, they were talking about religion.

My question is different. I see what you're saying. You say, 'I want to help another.' The intention is there to help a brother or sister, whatever, but I'm not waiting for God to guide me as to how. I have an idea like that is the goodness thing. I have an idea that this can help. But I'm not waiting because goodness only God knows how, not me.

Absolutely. Absolutely. So then do you feel like the Pharisees were malevolent?

Sometimes I feel it's just how they were projected. I just feel like they just got too caught up in their own knowledge, caught up in the existing... but they were trying to not let people fall for a false messiah. But it felt like, I don't know, like they wanted that power. It became so much about power and for God, like, 'I want... it's more like they must know that we are the ones that are right.' I feel more they felt they were the only ones who could interpret the truth.

Now see what happens in modern depictions also, or any depiction also, is that how will you present this on the screen? You see, if you present them as good-intentioned, then people will not be able to draw the black and white and the story will lose its bite. You see, so these are subtle things where with very good intentions we can lead ourselves and others in the very wrong way. Ria, all set? You going to go there and change?

Unsure. What else? Everyone decided just... What are we doing? I'm changing. Changing there. Yeah. Then you not change. When are we leaving, dear? Leaving at 5:00. 5:30, you said. But if you're changing there... sure. Oh, okay. 5:30 because not change the caps. There's some... can I come with you? You leave at five but the car cards are not there at... Can I come with your cards? Yeah.

So right now I experience some of this and it's very... like I saw that the intentions are what I felt. So I'll repeat that in Delhi. I was in Delhi and I saw, you know, friends and family being like that. I felt they had from their side the most... they didn't have any malice, they had no bad intentions, they did not mean to hurt the other. But they relied so much on their knowledge. And that time I felt, Father, that it was just like I was no different from them and there it was just light that God gave me. I don't know why. And God did not... it was just lack of light. Like it was, I felt, and then I couldn't blame them and yet I didn't want to be with them because I felt it. I am maybe not that strong yet to withhold my sadhana there. So Father, is it I want to ask, is it that lack of light that in all of this, the way I saw it?

Very true. That the zombie life you see is the lack of the light of God's love.

And there's nothing I did to deserve it. No, like what did I do that I...?

Does that happen? You see that grace or turning towards God? Is that grace? Is that something we do? Those are things which really can't be spoken. Better to put them in the umbrella of grace.

Yes. No, I don't want to put them 100% in the umbrella of grace because some may hear it like, 'Yeah, we don't... I will turn when there is grace.'

So, it is important for us to fully turn to God. Grace has done its job. Grace has done its job by bringing you to hear these words. You see, now we have to follow like that. Is that grace? Will that following also be grace? Yes. But I don't want to say that yet openly. You know what I mean? Because initially it seems like a tag team.

And Father, like even before I used to feel that, like you said, that perfect is the enemy of the good. Now I feel like I hear this in this sense that even one drop of that is valuable. Value it, you know?

Exactly. When we make the guideline into some obstacle... so suppose Father Thomas Keating said must do contemplative prayer 20 minutes twice a day. So then you're looking at the watch, you say, 'Oh, I have only 10 minutes, I won't do it now, I'll do it later.' You see, that is perfect being the enemy of the good. Like in the perfect world you would have the 20 minutes to do it, but now you have 10, you should. I should. This is all lessons for myself.

So in this Pharisee sense also it's the same, no, Father? The lack of light in their heart, no?

Okay.

So even with that, what can we do? We can only knock. If the knock is not answered, which usually it is not answered... but Father, in this sense, like in this case when people are like this who are very strongly holding on to their belief system, you can see it. And you can see that it's anything said with love is also a direct attack at the ego. Even it does... it's not heard the way you're saying it. You could be saying X, Y, Z, they'll hear it as A, B, C only.

Exactly.

So then Father, like I found it very hard to knock. It was as if it's like a shield they have. It's like an energy they carry, and it's in expressions, it's in lifestyle, it's in simple things and it's like a full shield. You can't even enter that. It's so sad, Father.

God's grace has to do its work. We can just at that point... we can only pray. And actually I should not say we can only pray because prayer probably is the highest way to help anyway. Though it's not easy because once we start coming to these living waters, so to speak, in our heart, then to see our brothers and sisters dying without it can seem very difficult.

And also when you are faced with it, you are not all... like somebody like me, I'm not in a position to be so elevated myself when I have to live with them. So even to pray in those circumstances or kind... you first have to stay, keep yourself afloat. You can't... like that's very advanced. Now I see like the simple stuff you're saying is sounding like it requires a very deep spiritual life. It requires your focus so much on God that it doesn't touch you because these are such dense atmospheres that it touches you because it's very dense, Father. Away from it, it's easy, but in that... that's how I felt. Maybe I'm...

Yeah, you're right. I would only say that only one thing is that it's very difficult to fully templatize and say this is the right approach because, you know, when I was younger I went through a sales program. In the sales program they told me that the one who says 'I will definitely never buy' is the one who's closest to buying. And you notice that the one who put up the strongest objection—'No, this, don't even talk to me about it, I'm never going to'—you see, and then you just start talking to them about it and they come. So we can't really fully say, but I get a sense most of... I would say if you were to say quantitatively 99% yes, 1% just keep that openness for grace to do a miracle.

Yeah, it's very hard to even keep that 1%. Like if for me right now, I feel that is also a test in faith. No, Father, that is a true... that's like the testament, that's the faith in God, right? Always keep that slight sliver of hope, the slight door open for that. When you see so much darkness, that feeling of meeting darkness also with a lot of gratitude saying, 'Thank you, Lord, for what you have done in this life.'

Yeah, I tried. That happened naturally, Father. I was so grateful. I came back, I was telling Ishana that I feel like more love, you know? I feel like I came back with a lot more respect for those who are trying to walk this path. It's hard now. I feel more love for everyone. I feel I can ignore like little things, you know, which are not... they at least trying. There's so much more darkness out there. Everybody is so sweetly attempting. I felt...

Sweetly zombie.

Attempting, I said. Ah, some kind out there is like everybody's very sweet zombie. Father, there I felt that there is not even like one centimeter of depth. It was so shallow and flat. I mean, it could be anything but it was so... there was no fizz. It was flat. I can't... like that feeling of being in that flatness was... you asked, no, how does Maya taste when you started and how God tastes? To taste that was... it was so flat, I felt so...

Texture is so different. There's no dare... like where will you go? And you can't even enter it. The beauty is, the great thing is that nothing is difficult for God. So when we make our prayers in full faith, that is the best we can do because we know that somebody may be full of such dark conditioning even, you see, but for God it's nothing at all. In that, recognizing is good to notice because it makes us grateful for our life and then to have faith in God that our prayers may be answered if it is His will. The greatest... the biggest murderer of all time, he got transformed into a sage.

But it's hard to feel, no? Like in our situation it's hard to feel that as... like if I look at some of the people that I met, you see them so godless, so lifeless. How I really felt like... I really felt I saw zombies.

Does feel like... first time like you've been saying zombie life, zombie life and I've been like, 'I'd never met it.' So stuck, like I really felt in every way. I felt... Father, there are some connection problems. Maybe you can switch the connection internet against that eventuality. Then that is to live as if you're already dead. And people who are not spiritual... I saw what knowledge does, okay? That just because you can read about say Neem Karoli Baba and you can read about the Beatles coming to the Beatles ashram and you can read what are they teaching... you could be reading all these things, that doesn't make you have any knowledge about spirituality, right? But the conviction in the world that my mind is so... 'I am smart because of... like I can do it with my mind.' That being such a blocker to anything good in life, that was also very stark.

Father, Father, Father, there are some connection problems. Maybe the internet is not the right one. Connection. Okay. Internet is the right one. This one is the right one. It's still... am I audible, visible? No, it's okay. A few minutes ago it was... Yes, we've been having some trouble with the lights. So, definitely. Okay. Please tell if it happens again. Thank you. Thank you.

So saying that my father met... and God bless him, but he got the opportunity to meet Swami Chinmayananda Ji. So when you meet somebody who is sage-like, you would use that opportunity to ask them a question, learn something like that. But he didn't realize that there's anything to learn. So when he met Swami Chinmayananda Ji, he's telling Swami Chinmayananda Ji about his teacher. He said, 'When I met Swami Chinmayananda, he told me that, you know, the best way to have the easiest way to have the best memory is to never lie because then you don't have to remember what you said.' All of this, and I felt like very nice, but one probably knows it. You're talking about his teacher. Secondly, this is an opportunity for us to learn, isn't it? For us to... but what happens is that we become so caught up in our knowledge that we don't have the capacity. We don't know how much we still don't know.

Yeah. Like it's so much pride in the fact that I can read and learn anything. My father has an attitude that he feels that it's just not his interest yet. Had it been in his interest, he would have read that up and also, like, you know, been acing that. But because it's all a whole lot of that we do because God doesn't exist according to him—full atheist mode—then but that is so harmful for him. I feel so sorry.

But what could have told that boy? This boy was like this for 23 years of his life. And he used to say, 'All your stupid satsang, all of this, God is for losers.'

He has an attitude that he feels that it's just not his interest yet. Had it been in his interest, he would have read that up and also, like you know, been acing that. But because it's all a whole lot of that we do because God doesn't exist according to him—full atheist mode then—but that is so harmful for him.

Yeah. I feel so sorry.

But what could have told that boy? This boy was like this for 23 years of his life. And he used to say, 'All your stupid satsang, all of this God is for losers.' What had to come for him that turned him towards looking for God?

So, Father, like me also was like my dad. I was also an atheist. I never entered a temple. I used to make fun of everybody, everything like this. But only when God put that in my heart, when I saw, when I had that feeling in my—I had that experience in my heart—

You had a greater escape, I have to say, because you first got into a spirituality which was godless. So God's grace is greater upon you.

But Father, my first experience of God was not through any spirituality. It was directly. I felt with Mirabai, you know? I see. When I was in my college bus, that's the first time I felt for lives I've been seeking God. I felt I was so thirsty, like honey was being poured in my heart. And then because I heard that one discourse, so I thought maybe through here I will get to know. Then I got into it. But I knew like I would—nothing would change me otherwise.

Saying in a very good way that it's much more difficult for those children who are in a false spirituality, like a spirituality without spirit. Yeah, definitely. The audience of one knows the deed.

So, I don't know what to ask. He knows.

So if we notice that when you're a parent, you see a lot of things in your children. You see, you can probably correct 10% of them. And you realize that for them to grow, for them to learn, it has to come somewhere. It has to come from within somewhere.

So Father said only integrity is what then he already knows.

So, it's not integrity about him. He knows. Integrity is allegiance. What did you say? Allegiance to the audience of one?

Yeah. And that one is God. And if I'm in darkness, whose fault is that? Whose fault is it? How do I be with integrity?

So whose fault is it? Because he knows it's his fault. It can't be my fault because I don't know. And somebody who knows, I don't know. Is there anyone who doesn't know love? Any like Pharisees? They know love but they turn away from it. We know love. We know kindness. We know compassion, but we turn away from it. You see, it is not so many times when people say, 'Why is this happening to the world?' We all should ask God, 'Why is this happening in the world?' I love the answer where someone said that God is the one who should be asking us that: 'I gave you such a beautiful world. I gave you a soul which only feels light, joy, love when it's in God's presence. Exist in love, kindness, peace. So why—what have you done to my world?' He should ask us.

So Father, we all have the chance, no, to turn? Like even people who are atheists, they can always at least love and follow. No, that's what—

Absolutely. So I got into being an atheist because I never—I thought I was very smart, but I never really went to any second level, third level question. I just kept rotating over there in some fallacies.

You said then what took an atheist out? You were talking about that. Can you say?

Yes. Then as I started to meet the depth of my life and I saw that there was not in those things which I thought will give me so much joy. They were very lifeless. Then I just started questioning, 'What is the point of all of this? What is the purpose of all of this?' And then when the question came, 'What is the purpose of all of this?' then the question was, 'Who is the I? Who am I?'

If I have integrity, then I can be conscious of me. Audience of me, audience of God, which audience of me? Don't want the spiritual me, I don't know that.

If you have integrity, then with integrity, which audience are you aware of?

Myself. Like as I see the world, me. I can be true to that and that I can say integrity.

Okay, let's go with that. You can say it's integrity. Now, would also integrity or some other virtue adjacent to that get you to asking, 'But what is this me? Is there really a me?' Or that maybe this is what I was—that to not to go deep but to make a self-referential, almost a self-referential knowledge system which rotates in itself, feeling very, you see, feeling very complete in itself without really—it's like, 'No, let's not go there.' But who—'Let's not go there,' but—

I don't know. That's the thing. How can I have integrity?

If—right. Yes. But that 'I don't know' is huge integrity, no? Like the people that Mira is talking about, how many times they say 'I don't know'?

Never. They know everything and you know what the best.

So to at least recognize that 'I don't know what happens after death. I don't know.' Yeah. Because that's just a—I mean, could be so many ways. It could be intellectual laziness. It could be a fear of what they will end up meeting. It could be so many different things. We have not—

Okay, that 'I don't know' is my view, not God's view. The audience is still me. What is the core thing? What is the core tension? What did you call integrity? I missed that. Allegiance to the audience of one. That seems out of my reach.

Out of reach. That's fair. That's not unfair because this is the definition which is appealing to me now. It doesn't have to have truth value constant for everyone. That's true. Sometimes it's just good to zero down on what is the core of the tension and positions.

I just wanted to say that we are part of the extreme minority of people. They say that it's kripa at kripa. So you have to be extremely lucky to be in suffering that makes you feel what else is there, because all around, all my friends, all my social circle, nobody's interested and they all say, 'Oh, we are so happy.' Exactly. And you must be very unhappy even though, you know, I'm partying with them and enjoying with them, but they just don't have that thirst or that comes from past birth, I guess, or whatever. And the interest in the external world and Maya came from past births, heavy vasanas. It's very hard. You have to be extremely lucky, like even Mirabai, to have all that to be discarded by her family, otherwise she would have lived a royal life. Same with Buddha. So finally that was the best thing which happened. Thank you.

I would love that past birth thing. I would love that thing except the problem is that what is the origin? If my current birth is based on my past birth, therefore my past birth was based on the previous birth. So what is the origin of what gave it the initial momentum in that direction? It was that frozen. Otherwise, it would just be very clear. It's because of past birth. And these past births are infinite. You could have been a cockroach, a rat, or whatever.

Exactly.

And so let's say God ignores all our cockroach lives. So let's keep it limited to our human lives. So the first human life that I have, what was that lived on the basis of?

And you were lucky enough to take advantage of that human life instead of—

No, I'm saying that if we take grace or luck, as you called it, out of it and we say it's dependent purely on some past lifetime, then what happened in the first lifetime that brought us here? You know what I mean?

They say it's from the previous pralaya. You died with all—

Still, still there must be something. That's the thing with linear time, that if time is linear in that way, then that brings us to this. It's not a bad construct, like karma is not a bad construct, but I am happier to have faith in just God's overriding will over karma. I can't imagine a God who is then bound by His own script. Although for most things in our life, it's quite a nice framework to follow. As long as it gets us to do good, see, it's good. The less you think you are a doer. Yeah. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. The less you think you're the doer or non-doer—the less we think it's because there's a lot of doership involved in taking yourself to be a non-doer. You know what I mean? So there was a phase—no, now thankfully not so much—but there was a phase of about six, seven years where everybody was like, 'I am not the doer. I'm not the doer.' And I used to keep saying, 'But who is that you which is not the doer?' Then they would say, 'But the non-existent one, the non-existent one.' Then I said, 'Why you call that I then? See, it's still reinforcing the non-existent one.'

So what did Ramesh Balsekar say? That was the phase I'm talking. I saw one video of satsang there where this one was like a spring chicken, barely recognize myself. Why is it that people who don't want to either listen to or talk about God or grace, they—I feel that they would rather talk about every—so in my experience, when I start to speak about God or my heart or gurus, then yes, it's a killjoy.

Yes. Definitely killjoy.

And I'm told categorically, 'Please keep quiet. We don't want to hear you talk about either God or guru.' But I've also noticed that people would rather talk about any other philosophy, any other construct to avoid talking about God.

I was just like that. I was just like that.

She also when I told her about—yeah, yeah, yeah.

So she—somebody's reminding her that she was also just like it happens when we are in Maya. But I still—if they have to talk about God even if they are atheist, that is okay. You see, I was like that. I was like that. Why was I like that? Because I just felt like—Maya is it?

No, it's okay. I mean, I was enjoying myself because somewhere it was resonating with my heart no matter what my mouth may be saying, otherwise I wouldn't have spent those endless hours with you know. So something was resonating here. So the seed was being put. But there are people who actually want to push you away and make it all about some kind of a hotpot philosophy.

Yeah. So then what is the way to resolve that situation is the question. So that's the question. Ananta said that our relationships must be dependent on our love for God. You see, so how is it okay? Like why should we be the ones to say—you're saying that they are happy to push you away if you talk about God. You see, then why should you want to cling on close to them if they want to talk only about Maya? So Kierkegaard said that love is love only if it involves God. It's a tough one. It's a tough one especially for a householder life. It's not easy. But these are some difficult pills that the sages have told us to swallow. See, so we can contemplate them together.

How then do we share His name? If we're going to be shut away and even be abused, how do we then share His love, His light, and His name?

Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I have to be honest and say that as I learned to spend time in His presence, most of those were organically—those situations were organically taken away from my life. And there are examples of people who come to satsang now who have had conversations within social settings which were not very open at that point. So we just have to allow God to do His work somewhere. But I feel like we must not be scared of being shunned.

That's it. I'm scared.

That is the main thing. It is not about how they are and how to fix that. It's more to do with our fear. Suppose the whole world chased us but we lived in faith. We talked about the great sages. We talked about Lord Jesus himself being crucified, you see, by his own religion. He did not say, 'I'm here to start Christianity.' He only shared the essence of his own religion, Judaism. So it's like saying Krishna came, he made the Upanishads easy for us—I mean relatively easier for us to fathom in the form of the Gita—and then the Hindus themselves killed him.

And how to fix that, it's more to do with our fear. Suppose the whole world chased us but we lived in faith. We talked about the great sages. We talked about Lord Jesus himself being crucified, you see, by his own religion. He did not say, 'I'm here to start Christianity.' He only shared the essence of his own religion, Judaism. So it's like saying Krishna came, he made the Upanishads easy for us—I mean relatively easier for us to fathom in the form of the Gita—and then the Hindus themselves killed him. So if the incarnations themselves, or at least in this way even Ram Ji's life, he was not spared at all. So if the incarnations themselves are not spared of ostracization and shunning to the extent of great pain, then we have to learn from their example. So that is what my message was for also today's event.

And I noticed that the texture of when we closed talking about it last time and how we started talking about it today was different. So in the meanwhile, that whole 'keeping up with the Joneses' and presentation and all of that somewhere seems to have made some impact. It's the same thing that, okay, they will shun us if we go simply. Okay. Why are they not scared of shunning us? But we are scared of being shunned. You see, so are you willing to be completely alone with God? You see, or is that a condition that we have that, 'If I'm going to go to God, I need to get my friends along, my friends along.' You see, and if they are shunning me, then I need to change something about myself or about them.

It's not easy to walk alone, but that is the path we are on. She also said it's such a rare thing in the human birth. And given that I have seen the extremes of both ends as an extreme atheist, like an active atheist, and now an active, active lover of God. I've seen the extreme of both ends. But how is it that on this end we are scared of losing them, but they are not scared to ridicule, create distance? Maybe it's safety in numbers. Maybe it's just that the popular notions feel a certain safety and the ones which are not the popular notions feel a sense of fear. You see.

So is there a fear? I don't feel there is, but we must see for ourselves if there is a fear that we want to hedge our bet somewhere. Just that tiny possibility, 0.1% chance that they could be right. If that is not there, then what is that we have to fear?

Yes, but where does that come from? You see that if all of us felt, for example, that there is zero reason to project ourselves in any particular way, you see, then we would not worry so much about societal pressure. But somewhere something may take a hold saying, 'But that is the right way to be in that situation.'

Say again.

Yeah. Suppose you're completely clear in your heart that this is God's will and this is what we have to follow. This is completely clear. There's no looking for approval, for being right, for being liked. No need for any of that. You see, then we would never need to worry about what society takes us to be.

But there's that doubt. What is that slightest chance that I have got it wrong and they've got it right? You see.

That's the faith.

Yeah. So, as our faith grows and in the deepening of our faith, the vision of God becomes clearer in our heart more and more. You see, then in that invisible vision, the world's imagery is not that compelling.

Can it also be I see someone and I've begun to see the falsity of this false one? So just to see it as false means I just don't want that falsity. Is it? Can it be false? Can we see the falsity of the false without seeing the reality of the real?

No, actually not.

It's not possible without the reference. It's not possible because actually just sitting here, we can apply the notion that it is false. We can say 'Neti, Neti, Neti,' but we don't actually see the falseness of it unless we see the reality of the real. It's like you see the presence behind. It's so...

Like we can see that we put it in the bucket of the false, like almost forcefully with the intellect, because we've been told it's changing, it's Maya, it's whatever. But the seeing, the revelation happens of both things together. So, you see, like I never saw—I still have never seen—like the falsity like we imagine the falsity to be, in the sense that if there was an awakening experience or whatever happened here, it did not leave me in this thing that this is all false. You see, it just left me with more of a sense of something being waves on the surface or something being just very, very thin in its nature. But it didn't bring me to an aversive falseness about the world.

So I didn't mean the world actually, I meant the ego. So you can see that this—I mean mind—is actually like what we fear and we cling on to, that my image or that whatever is actually not... it can be let go of.

So that is actually to see the non-existence of it.

Okay.

That is possible because you see the non-existence of that entity. You see, it became that falsity based on its non-presence. Is good.

So I'm just checking that I'm not making... let you... So when I see the, when I'm in the presence, then I don't want that one. I don't have any desire for that person and that it has no 'me' at that moment. It comes back immediately. But to be able to see clearly that it's not the basis of my reality, is that the same?

It's kind of, you know why I'm saying kind of tricky?

I don't know why.

Because it's not... one is the seeing of it. Seeing that there is no such entity, no such existence. But many times we call the 'seeing' also what we are concluding out of it. Okay, that is why I'm saying half and half, you know. So you just... if I just... can we leave our seeing inconclusive intellectually? That's I feel important for you, that leave your seeing uncontaminated or left out of an early contamination by our conclusions. This is that unknown unknown. Leave room for that. So don't do this. Huh? Exactly. Just be free.

You see, because we feel like in our jumping to our conclusiveness, we feel like we are growing in our knowledge. But this is not the kind of knowledge we are talking about. You see, like what is the additional knowledge of this being a tumbler going to help you drink? Whatever, even perceptually it's enough. No?

Somebody says, 'Get me the tumbler,' then to drink.

Okay. Sorry. Drink. Yes. All right. I know there are some hands, but I know John has put up after a long time, but we have to run. So you can write to me with here, we can talk otherwise also, or you can come on the next. What actions we must take to detach from Maya, or also we have to trust God to tell us, to show us, because remember that the mind's opposites also want to lead to more mind.