ARE YOU AWARE NOW
Book Description
Based on a series of talks given by Ananta between April to August 2014. “You are always the Awareness itself, and as Awareness you know that all that is appearing in front of you is just an appearance. There is no one here besides You. All appearances are a play of Consciousness. You stay as the Awareness itself. Once the one that wants to help vanishes, then pure grace and help will flow from You, from your Being itself. Do not get confused, my beloveds. This is all for your own good, for your own freedom. There is only You. You are all there is. All emerges from your own Being. And the way to bless the entire Being is to find your complete freedom.”
Satsang with Ananta
High above the noise and pollution of Bangalore traffic on Old Airport Road, Beings from all corners of the world gather on the top floor of a multi story building. Flowers are placed where Anantaji’s feet will be and on the altar with photos of His Master, Sri Moojiji. Incense is lit, water is poured, and the Sangha sit quietly waiting for Anantaji, or Father as most of the Sangha lovingly call Him, to enter the room. When Anantaji joins the room, the Sangha stand in reverence and respect until their Father is seated. Ananta opens His mac laptop, connects to google hangout where there are many more Sangha all around the world waiting to join in live. And Satsang begins with “Namaste everyone, a very warm welcome to satsang today, Satguru Moojiji ki Jai.”
Which understanding will make you Real?
Which idea will define your Self?
What does Freedom mean to the Absolute?
Who can bind the Supreme Lord?
But I know now that this is all part of my game.
Yes, Beloved, all going to sleep and awakening is just a part of our game. God became tired of His own game.
I Am the Immortal One.
This Being is my breath.
Life does not concern me, neither does death.
I Am the Immortal One.
This is my only song.
This song is not of love.
I sing of That way beyond.
The God of love serves me.
And his joy is in your Heart.
For some these are the ramblings of the mad-man,
For others they are the Truth.
When you find this mad-man in your Heart,
That will be the end of all words.
~ Ananta
Table of Contents
Preface: “Ananta, how did this happen for you?”
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Chapter 1: Beingness is Ever-Present
- 8What Makes Up a Person
- 13Freedom is Not a State
- 18Can You Turn Off Awareness?
- 23An Intimate Conversation with your True Being
- 25What is Consciousness?
- 29Consciousness is the One Doer
- 33Guided Inquiry
- 36Unity and Oneness
- 39Not the Body; Never Born, Never Die
- 41Doership
- 49An Inquiry of Awareness
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Chapter 2: All Arises and Subsides in Awareness
- 52Desires and Aversions, Vasanas
- 57Simple and Available to Everyone
- 67You Meet Your Own Presence in Satsang
- 75How Will You Suffer Now?
- 79Find the Buddha Within You
- 84I Have Come To Take You Home
- 90You Can’t Step Out of Awareness
- 92Be Completely Empty of the World
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Chapter 3: Awareness Witnessing
- 97There is Nothing to Fix
- 102Consciousness is Not the Body
- 106Trying to Hold onto Awareness
- 111Am I Free?
- 115Marinating in the Silence
- 118About Problems
- 122Appearances Can’t Touch Our True Nature
- 126The Witnessing of Every Appearance
- 130As What Are You the Experiencer?
- 136Get to the Root of It
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Chapter 4: Are You Aware Now?
- 139No Resistance Means No Suffering
- 141Consciousness and Relationships
- 144Special Relationships
- 149Inquiry: Where Do Thoughts Come From?
- 155What Brings Complete Freedom?
- 160The Idea of Separation is Only a Belief
- 165Awareness Itself in This Very Moment
- 170Inquiry: Are You Aware Now?
- 175A Game: Guided Inquiry
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Chapter 5: Our True Position
- 178Who is Aware of This Witnessing?
- 184What it Means to Not Resist
- 188Ego Rests on the Concept of Doership
- 192Being Free in This Very Moment
- 196There is No Separation
- 200Contemplations
- 205 Where Am I?
- 212Be Completely Empty of the World
- 214This is Home. This is Freedom
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Chapter 6: You Have Always Been Free
- 218What Is the Mind?
- 222Awareness is the Starting Point
- 226You Are the Untouched Free One
- 233The Illusion of Control
- 238Being in Silence
- 240Who is Seeing This?
- 248What Does Freedom Mean For You?
- 253Resistance is Non-Acceptance of What Is
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Chapter 7: Complete Simplicity
- 258Don’t Try to Go Home, You Are Home
- 261Consciousness Speaking with Consciousness
- 265Rest in These Simple Pointings
- 269What Sees Even This?
- 273Truth is Not a Concept
- 277The End of Suffering Itself
About Ananta
Ananta gives satsang with the blessings of his Master, Mooji. He lives in Bangalore, India with his wife, son and daughter. On-line satsangs on Youtube with Google Hangout and Youtube chat participation are offered Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 11 am and Tuesday and Thursday at 4:30 pm Bangalore, India time.
Satsang with Ananta Youtube channel and satsang link is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmc83jyrwpCNBT2xywXVoLg/feed
Website: www.anantasatsang.org
Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/satsangwithananta
Mooji and Ananta
This book is a distillation of full satsangs between Ananta and the sangha or guests who came to ask questions and be in his Presence. All “in quotes” are shorted questions from those attending. Transcribed and collected with love by the Sangha, edited by Amaya, in deepest love and gratitude to Anantaji (nicknamed ‘Father’ by some), as an offering to all who seek Truth and Freedom from suffering through these simple pointings.
“Ananta, how did this happen for you?”
In the sense of what brought this Being into giving satsang or having satsang in this way? For a long, long time in the life of this person, there seemed to be no belief in the concept of God. There was this thought which was believed, which was that ‘All that don’t have faith in themselves have invented this concept of God, just because they are scared; that they need something to rely on, therefore they have invented this concept of God’. And then some experiences happened where I came across a Being who was able to foretell the future. He was an astrologer; he was very accurate with foretelling the future. At the same time a lot of suffering was coming up in life.
I came across this book called ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’. Because life created some openness, so first this book appeared. Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda’s book ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’. It had some deep impact here. But if I were to look at it now, I am not sure what it was that so deeply affected me then. In reading ‘Autobiography of a Yogi’ something was there about learning Kriya yoga, and doing some Kriya type practices. He was Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda. In Bangalore there is a Master called Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, who teaches something called the Sudarshan Kriya. So I found that when I came to know about this, (this was in ‘97 or ‘98 most likely); when I came to know about this Sri Sri / Sri Sri coincidence, and the kriya / kriya similarity, I felt that I must go and try this. So I went to The Art of Living, learned the sudarshan kriya; and all the yogic practices actually helped in some way, because it gave some space here for some contemplation to happen.
So there was a lot of interest in ‘The Art of Living’ here; and did many, many courses and programs with ‘The Art of Living’ with the ultimate goal of becoming a teacher with ‘The Art of Living’. But life, of course, had other plans. A lot of suffering arose because of some life events; things happened where a lot of suffering actually arose. With grace, there was this question which said ‘If you know so much, and you are so good at practices, and you are so spiritually evolved, then how can it be that suffering still continues?’ And with that question, the entire framework of the spiritual ego just collapsed actually; because I realized that I did not know anything at all. It was all just concepts that I was parrot-ing that were heard from others; I was just a parrot.
Then with Grace, I came across Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi]’s book ‘Be as you Are’. At a similar time, Nisargadatta’s book ‘I am That’. Reading ‘I am That’ actually had a very, very profound effect. It was a very frustrating experience also initially, because I just could not understand. Many times when he would say ‘The sense I Am, be with the I Am-ness’ then all these terms just would not make any sense at all.
Then in looking for a teacher I looked for a student of his, because I knew that Nisargadatta Maharaj had left the body, so I looked for a student of his; and I found Ramesh Balsekar. So for a few years, any time I was in Mumbai, I would visit Ramesh. Ramesh, as you know, speaks a lot about non-doership; he used to speak a lot about non-doership.
Something was still not completely clear; and when I was looking for disciples of Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi, then I came across these names Papaji, Lakshmana Swami, and there was a desire to meet somebody from that lineage. So when I went to Tiru for the first time, there was a feeling that I would like to meet Lakshmana Swami. By then I had seen a lot of Mooji’s videos on Youtube, but there was no feeling that this one [Mooji] is going to be my Guru. So when I went to Tiru, it was mostly to do a lot of spiritual shopping actually; to meet all the Masters over there in Tiru. As Grace would have it, I saw Mooji first.
I was late for satsang, I was waiting downstairs; and then I saw him come down the stairs. As he was coming down the stairs, this strong feeling came over me that ‘I have come home’. That my life is his problem now, and everything will be taken care of. This strong feeling came, and I gave him a hug. It was a short meeting.
Then I always believed that the next day I went to him on the hot seat actually; but if you look at the dates now, there was one day in the middle which I have no recollection what happened on that day. There is no recollection of that day, of what happened in satsang, or any of that. I just remember that when I landed up on the hot seat, in looking at his eyes, all that was spoken, which was just an intellectual understanding earlier, was seen to be completely true. The person had completely dissolved, and all there was, was oneness, and pure love that was being transmitted from his eyes. All sense of separation vanished.
Then after that, Mooji just adopted me. It has just gone on like this very naturally in its own flow. There was no very strong feeling here that I must do satsang, or this should happen. In fact we wanted to do video satsangs with Mooji. That’s how it started in Bangalore. We started doing fort-nightly dvd Mooji satsangs here, and it just happened. His Presence was so strongly felt during those satsangs.
Then these beautiful Beings started coming, Ram and Jyotika and Amrita; and Om would log in online. These beautiful Beings started coming, and for some reason they started asking me questions. Usually I was not very open for answering, but for them just these answers also seemed to flow.
When these answers used to flow, I could also feel the Master’s Presence so strongly here. So then I wrote to Mooji and said that ‘This is what seems to be happening’. So he said that I must share, that grace is using this body / mind very well now, and the sharing must continue like this. He said one phrase in the mail where he said that ‘We must bring more Beings into this sangha of Being’. I felt that that is a very beautiful name for this sangha. So this name ‘Sangha of Being’ comes from there. Because there was not this strong motivation to call it ‘Ananta Sangha’. There was no feeling to name it like that. It was just seeming like Mooji’s prasad [gift] in some way. So, that’s how this whole thing happened.
Chapter 1
Beingness is Ever-Present
What Makes Up a Person?
This idea of a person or the idea that ‘I am a person’ is a collection of beliefs that we have picked up over the years, which is also called conditioning. This collection of ideas that we have picked up over the years, we have heard from our parents to begin with. Then some thoughts came to us about this and we believed them to be our thoughts. Then all of these thoughts became our core beliefs, and a ‘person’ was born. But we have not really looked at the creation or dissolution of this person.
Many have asked this question in satsang as to ‘What is the purpose? What is the purpose of this universe?’ Or ‘What is the purpose of the world?’ Even this question has to be eventually looked at from the perspective of where it is coming from.
Look at the perspective of where the question is coming from. If it is coming from a very personal perspective then we can clearly see that the purpose of the world is to make us fail at this idea of peace or happiness that we have. It might sound a little strong, but the fact is that no person has been able to achieve the happiness or peace that they have desired, from a personal perspective. So when we fail at reaching happiness and peace from a personal perspective, then we become a seeker of what is called the Truth.
We are now seeking. ‘What is really going on here? If I cannot get happiness and peace through the conventional way, by trying out various things from a personal perspective, then what must be the way to peace and happiness?’ Hence this ‘person’ now becomes ‘the seeker of Truth’.
At this point, the ‘person’ is still there but we change identity in a sense and now start identifying with being a seeker of Truth. To the seeker, what used to be the cause of our suffering (the world), can now be used to point us towards the Truth. Isn’t it? A true seeker looks at everything that emerges around him and uses that as momentum to go deeper within himself, to discover who he really is.
Once that introspection and inquiry seems to happen then it is clear that this person or seeker never existed anyway. No, it was just pure imagination. So what is then left? What is then left is the pure Self which is enjoying the play of Consciousness which emerges for us. What used to be the cause of suffering now becomes a sort of entertainment.
From a person’s or personal perspective there is always confusion, delusion, guilt, remorse etc. All of these negative feelings emerge and we are identified with them. Hence we feel that ‘I am undergoing this life, it seems to be very tough’. Then once we realize ‘Hey, I am not able to find peace, I am not able to find happiness, irrespective of my possessions, my relationships, etc’ then we start seeking a deeper Truth and a peace which is unshakeable. That is when people come to satsang.
In this way the seeker of truth comes to satsang, and in satsang realizes that there was no person here in the first place; not even the seeker personality. In this complete realization, whatever might happen in the world around us, we are now unshakeable or unaffected by the content of our perception.
In the fire of satsang, many of you will be having this experience that what seemed to be so important just ten minutes ago, something that you were grappling with as if it was controlling your entire life, now in the fire of satsang it seems to have lost its relevance, its sting. This is because what is being pointed to in satsang is your own true Self, for which all of this is just an appearance. It has no power.
So the same world, the same content of the world which used to reinforce the idea of being a person, for the seeker, it now becomes a world where everything can be looked at as a pointing towards their very own true Self. The same thoughts which used to reinforce the idea of personhood can now be looked at to say ‘Who are these thoughts speaking to? Who is listening to these thoughts? Who are they appearing for?’ In this inquiry we see that there is no person.
The same content of consciousness seemingly perpetuates the delusion of personhood, and then also seems to point to a way of freeing ourselves of this delusion. Therefore the purpose of satsang is to dissolve this concept of personhood. It is as simple as that.
Beingness is Ever Present
“How do we stay in this Beingness?”
It is good that you did not say ‘How to get to this Beingness?’ So, there is already an understanding that ‘Beingness is already present, but I seem to go away from this Beingness and get attached to phenomenal objects’.
Attention and Belief – Two-Step Process to Suffering
By giving our attention and then our belief to our thoughts which arise, we are seemingly pulling off a supreme trick of believing God to be a person. This is not a single step process that happens in a blur and is difficult to discern; it’s actually a clear two-step process. If you were to merely give your attention to your thoughts, just by this attention, thoughts would not have the ability to convince you about anything or make you suffer. But what makes you suffer is when you give them your belief. For you to give them your belief, first there must be attention that goes to these thoughts, and then there must be a belief which follows, such as ‘Hey, this is my thought and this is real for me’. This is how the individual ‘person’ is born, which says ‘I am feeling this, or I am saying this, or this is what is happening to me’.
Without this two-step process of attention followed by belief, we are automatically in the natural state of our own Beingness. Actually it is just as simple as letting go. Surrender actually means to let go. To let go of what appears is the simplest way to surrender, because in our natural state we are already in Beingness. We are not in satsang trying to create anything new, but only to look at what deludes us. What confuses us to start believing that ‘I am this individual entity’?
Now if we do not give attention and belief to our thoughts, can you tell me what takes you away from your own Beingness?
The feeling that the ‘person’ idea still has power over me
As we get deeper in this marinating, deeper into attending satsang and self inquiry, we will see that, very subtly, it is still our own lingering/habitual attention and belief that gives the idea of personhood power over us. Certainly, something that is imaginary cannot have power of its own. It only gets power from our own attention and belief.
When Consciousness itself gives it this belief and attention, it seems to become real. But the fact is you will suffer as a result of this belief that ‘I am this person’ and this suffering is actually pure grace which asks us to question this identity which we have taken for ourselves, and points us back to our true Self. It cannot be that something comes and takes you away without your belief and attention. The easiest and quickest way to stop suffering is to just let go of every thought that comes. Every thought that comes can be allowed to come and go.
Letting go of a thought does not mean we have to try and stop thoughts from coming; it does not mean we have to get into some sort of a fight with the mind; because to get into a fight with the mind would also give it reality. Let go just means to not engage. To let thoughts come and go. As a very wise Zen master said ‘Let thoughts come and let them go, never serve them tea’. Then, suffering will become very rare and will happen only momentarily. It will have no power whatsoever over you.
Letting go of the ‘personhood’ idea
So long as we feel that there is a ‘person’ here who can let go, it is best to let go of thoughts. Once this person is seen to be dissolved, you will realize that even this letting go of thoughts, this surrender was pure grace itself. Like Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said ‘While we feel that there is a doer or a person that exists, it is good to exert all possible effort to realize our true Self’. And once we realize our true Self, we will see that even this effort of walking on this path to self discovery, it was grace alone that was doing it, because there was never a person here anyway.
So if this is clear in the heart that ‘I am not a person’ then all effort can be dropped simply. But not as a denial. Many neo Advaitins today are using this just as denial to say ‘There is no person here anyway’ and going along with their lives suffering every day; but refusing to actually see it is only a concept. They have replaced one concept ‘I am this person’ with another concept that ‘I am not this person’ while continuing to live the life of only this person. So if it is purely an intellectual exercise, then suffering will continue. But if we see, really in our heart, that it was just imagination, this person was just an idea, if this is simply understood, then at that point effort can be dropped as well. The seeking can be dropped as well.
Letting go of thoughts is a natural effortless state
We must not drop the seeking prematurely. We will know in our heart, we will know clearly. ‘Am I free or not from suffering?’ Once there is freedom from suffering, then there is no effort.
Everything just appears and disappears. Even the effort might just appear and disappear. But if this is merely coming from an intellectual perspective then we must continue to make the effort to let go of thoughts. The irony in all of this is that letting go of thoughts is not really an effort; it is picking up or engaging with thoughts which is the effort. So when we give our belief to our thoughts this entails actual effort.
Letting go of thoughts is a natural effortless state. Initially however, because picking up thoughts is habitual, dropping them seems like effort. In fact, if it is feeling like an effort, we can continue to let go of thoughts until we realize that this is a completely natural state, that this is our completely timeless state, that ‘I have always been here’. When you let go of every thought that appears, what can make you suffer now?
If nothing can make you suffer, then everything becomes a very, very simple existence. Life becomes a happy dream. It emerges when we wake up; it disappears when we go to sleep. And there is nothing but joy and peace that arises, because we lose the ability to suffer. Suffering only comes with our belief and attention to our thoughts. It is our attention and our belief in the mind (thoughts), which most of the world never questions, that gives rise to suffering. Once attention and belief are withdrawn then everything becomes so simple and unfolds on its own. Your true nature will unfold on its own, because that is what is Real.
What is Desire and Aversion?
What is aversion? An aversion is the opposite of a desire, isn’t it? For either to be present there must be some thought which is getting our attention and belief. For example, something like ‘I want to go to a party’ which is a thought to start with that has been given attention and belief and is now a desire. After a while another thought appears which is now saying ‘I do not want to go to a party’ and this too gets our attention and belief. This thought too is actually another desire; but we call it an aversion because of the negative way in which it appears. Isn’t it? So it is best to be in the neutral state and let life unfold in the way it has to.
If something disturbs you, then there is no reason to act on it. But even in this there is an opportunity. Everything that shows up in the world for us can now be used as an opportunity for self inquiry ‘Why am I getting disturbed?’ What is it that got disturbed? Are there some strands of identity remaining which seem to be getting attacked or affected?’
Thoughts will continue to arise as is their Nature
Thoughts will arise. There is no Being whom I have met for whom no thought arises. The thought will arise and the thought will go, but it is our attention to them and our belief in them which makes them affect us. So do not feel that now thoughts should stop coming; this is another Advaita trap. It is a trap for beginners where people believe that ‘Because I am free now, thoughts should stop’. And then, as is inevitable, a thought will come. That is the nature of the mind. It will come, and when it comes we start believing ‘This must mean that I am not awake now’. Can you see the trap? Everything is allowed to come and allowed to go. Merely by virtue of the appearance of thought, and attention going to it, does not mean that personhood comes back. You also have to identify with it and believe the thought that ‘This is of relevance to me or
this is my thought’. When thoughts and appearances just come and go, you are the pure witnessing of it. It does not touch you.
Intentions and Goals
In the free or natural state, whose intentions and whose goals would they be? Life will unfold in its own most beautiful way. But it does not have to conform to your mind’s ideas of how it has to unfold. So when you say ‘intention and goal’ it only means that ‘It is an idea I have about where my life should go’ and that also comes only from the ego. Ego relies on the belief that ‘Unless I plan or unless I have an intention or a goal for my life, God will make a big hash of my life. He does not know how to run my life’. Isn’t it? So there is still a person there who is trying to plan out his life. And if there is still a person there who is trying to plan his life, then it is not the free state anyway. So the question itself is a paradox. You say ‘Is it okay to have intentions and goals in the free state?’ In the free state there is no personal intentions and goals. Everything is just seen to be unfolding.
The ‘almost there’ seeker thought
‘Almost there’ is a thought. So if you are believing ‘I am almost there’ even this thought must be let go of, because the one who is almost there is not You. The one who is almost there, as Mooji says, is ‘also the same guy’. The ‘person’ is a fabrication of mind and ego. So this ‘guy’ must be surrendered.
Everything perpetuates the Truth if we only desire Truth
If we are at that point wherein, from our heart, we only desire Truth, then everything that appears in life for us will perpetuate the truth, or will perpetuate our seeing of what is real. It is a multi- purpose universe in some way. As a person, when we try to make our personal life better, in spite of the fact that we know that the person has to die, we are trying to create something which will give us permanent happiness and peace as a person. This is a losing proposition. As a person, the universe is full of confusion and suffering. As a seeker of truth, the universe is replete with opportunity in every moment to see what the truth is. As the Self, the universe is just pure entertainment which is arising. Pure joy, pure peace.
Strong Events
Strong events that appear in front of us seem to pull us back into personhood. But when we immediately question ‘Who am I?’ then this personhood cannot last. Isn’t it? It cannot last. Freedom is available even in the most strong appearances or intense situations which seem to happen around us.
For bondage to exist there must be a belief in a thought. Even the feeling which convinces me that ‘I am not free’ is another thought, isn’t it? Any feeling can come and go. But in what way is the awareness of it touched or affected by any of the arising content?
Freedom is Not a State
A topic that seems to be very prevalent amongst many seekers is freedom being a certain ‘state’. So many of us expect that if we have reached the state of freedom or enlightenment, then it must be a state of complete bliss, joy and happiness. If there is any change in that state, we start to question our own awakening/realization of what we have found ourselves to be.
But freedom is actually not a state. It is freedom, including freedom from states. It is freedom from identification with our mind, it is freedom from identification with events that happen around us, and it is freedom from identification with our own emotions. So if our freedom was dependent on a particular transient state, then we would not value that freedom so much. Isn’t it?
We are completely free irrespective of the state that is prevalent, irrespective of the emotions that are coming up, irrespective of thoughts that are arising, irrespective of events which seem to be appearing in front of us.
We must not feel that, now that there has been a realization of who I am, it must be accompanied by this state of being completely blissed out all the time. Everything that comes must eventually go. There is no appearance which stays forever. Even the appearance of the pure state ‘I Am’ or the Atma itself is not present when we are in the deep sleep state. Therefore since pure consciousness itself comes and goes, then any other experience which arises within this consciousness or from this consciousness cannot be expected to stay forever.
The only thing that stays forever is what is completely real and ever-present; this is what you are. Awareness is present even in the deep sleep state; Awareness is present in the waking state; Awareness is present in the dream state. There is no state in which there is no Awareness. This Awareness is the only Reality; it is what You are. All phenomena arises from this Awareness itself, and therefore must be made up of Awareness itself, isn’t it? So, if Awareness is all there is, then what is consciousness? It must be a different state or different form of Awareness itself.
Grace
Grace can be looked at in a couple of different ways. One way to look at Grace is that everything that seems to be happening in our life is actually Grace. When we are seeking truth then everything that appears can point us back home and can aid our self inquiry. Therefore everything that happens in our life is Grace.
There is also another way of experiencing Grace. This is experienced in the presence of a Satguru. In the presence of the Satguru ever-present in the heart as well as in the physical presence of the Satguru. This Grace is what I call the undeserved blessing. Of course, everything is a play of Consciousness eventually, and will happen as it is meant to; but it cannot be denied that in the presence of a Guru this Grace has a strong impact of dissolving the idea of ‘personhood’ and bringing us back to the Oneness that we are.
Therefore I say that actually Grace can be spoken of in two ways. One is that everything that happens around us can be looked at as pure Grace because it points us back home, and the
second is in the Presence of the Satguru. Like when I met Moojiji, just looking into his eyes, the idea of this person that was here completely dissolved. So what else can I call it but pure Grace? So this is how I would look at Grace.
Contemplation on ‘Who is watching?’
Let’s look at what is here, right here, right now. There seems to be the content of this universe which is appearing. There seems to be a body which is present here. And there seems to be some activities happening inside the body which can be perceived. Isn’t it? There will be some thoughts which come and go. There will be some images, some memories, some imagination which comes and goes. So all of this, all of this can be bundled as the content of Consciousness itself, and we can see that there is a watching or perceiving of all of this content.
Who is watching this?
Who is the watcher?
Is there a watcher of this content?
This is the root question in satsang.
This is the inquiry which can bring you to complete freedom.
Everything is watched.
It cannot happen unless it is watched.
Therefore, inquire as to follows:
Who is the watcher?
What does the watcher look like?
Where is the watcher watching from?
Can we bring ourselves, just for a couple of minutes, to look at these questions?
Many of you, I know, have heard this before, and it has led you to great freedom. And there are some of you who have heard this before and felt that there has been some lack of success, because there was an expectation that something should happen. But if you can just look at it without an expectation, and see for yourselves, as follows:
All of this phenomenal content which seems to appear in front of me,
Who is the watcher of it?
Is there a watcher?
What does this watcher look like?
Where are these eyes, where are they seeing from?
Who perceives this body?
Who perceives thoughts when my eyes are closed?
Who is hearing these words?
Does this one come and go?
Or is this One ever-present?
Is there ever a moment where this One that is looking at the entire phenomenal universe is absent for you?
Yes, in deep sleep the phenomenal universe is not there, but the ability to perceive the phenomenal universe is still there. That is why, when we wake up from deep sleep we can speak about the experience of deep sleep, that ‘I did experience deep sleep’. So if you can focus on this contemplation for a couple of minutes and drop everything else, let go of all other thoughts that might be coming to you and just stay in this place of calmness, of peace, and find out:
Who is looking?
Who is seeing even this state of peace?
I exist
There is a sense that I exist or I am, and this is present in all states except the deep sleep state. Even in the dream state there is a sense that I am, and the dream happens around this Being, Beingness or I am-ness. This sense of Presence or the sense of existing is always present in all states, except the deep sleep state. In the deep sleep state even this pure Presence is not there. We love the deep sleep state, because we want rest even from the state of Presence. Because our true nature, our real nature, is pure Awareness. Pure Awareness with no phenomena attached.
Is realizing the Truth/Self really that simple?
Like I keep saying, if it is real it must be present every moment. It must be ever-present. But the mind will come in and say ‘Is it really this simple? It cannot be this simple’. It will say ‘Because I have invested so many years in my practices, I have invested so many lifetimes in trying to figure this out, and what you are saying is ‘Drop everything, let everything go, and tell me what is here now’. And you will find that complete freedom is present right here and right now. This is what we have been looking for. Amazing, isn’t it? What we have been looking for has always been here. It is just that the looking takes us away from here, takes us away into the future and into many other confusions and delusions. If it is seen that it is here right now, and there is an awareness of whatever is appearing right here, right now, and there is no distance between me and this awareness, there is no separation between me and this awareness, and therefore ‘I must only be this awareness itself’, then what can make us suffer now? What problems can we continue to carry?
Belief is required for suffering to happen
For suffering to arise we must comply with two important steps in the process. The most common way for suffering to arise, or in fact the only way for suffering to arise, is by first giving our attention to a thought, for example, that ‘This should not be done’ or ‘He should not have done this’. A thought can be like this, and our attention goes to it first. But just by our attention it will not have the ability to make us suffer.
We must also use another power which seems to be born along with Consciousness – the power of belief. When we give a thought our attention and also our belief, for example ‘I should not do
this’ or ‘He should not have done this to me’ then this becomes something which can make us suffer. Suffering is resistance to what is actually happening, or what is appearing. If there is resistance to whatever is appearing, there will be suffering. If there is no resistance, everything will be allowed to just come and go, and there cannot be suffering. There can be pain. I am not saying that pain will go away. But suffering will not happen.
So we must look at the following self inquiry:
Which thought now has the ability to make me suffer?
Who is this thought talking to?
Who is getting attacked by this thought?
Or who is defending this thought?
The one who is feeling attacked, is this one real?
What does this one look like?
Where does this one stay?
Or is it just a pure figment of my imagination?
Have I ever been this person that I always thought I was?
Can one of you tell me one thing, one attribute of this person that is completely real?
Can we find out one attribute of this person which we have believed is completely real? Anything at all?
There is nothing that we can ever say was completely real about this ‘person’. Then it’s such a joke, isn’t it, that we spend our whole lives catering to this idea of a person but there is no reality to it whatsoever. It can be clearly seen to be a set of concepts or hand-me-down thoughts that cannot stand up to self inquiry.
The difference between Pain and Suffering
There is a big difference between pain and suffering. Pain is something which arises in the body, and does not lead to suffering, without our interpretation of this pain. For example, one could be having a toothache and an interpretation could arise which says ‘Why does this always happen to me? Why is it happening to me?’ Or it can be ‘When will this pain go away? I am tired of this pain, it seems to keep increasing and therefore this must mean that I am not free’. All of these thoughts will come.
We suffer only as a result of these thoughts. Otherwise pain is just another energetic experience. Without our belief in the interpretation of the mind about it, pain is just an energetic experience that arises and subsides. I’m not saying it has to or will necessarily be a pleasant energetic experience. I’m just saying it is merely another energetic experience. But when we label it and believe the label, this is when suffering starts. Otherwise like small children, when the pain comes, they cry; and when the pain subsides, they laugh. They don’t experience any carried forward associated suffering from pain, once the energy has passed. So there is a huge difference around the arising of pain and the suffering that we experience.
When the ego seems to be ‘acting out’ on its own
Everything can appear and it can disappear. How are you touched by it? Know you are untouched, that Awareness is not doing any of this. First is the birth of Consciousness, and within this Consciousness all the events are playing out, and none of these events can touch pure Awareness. Therefore if the ego is playing out or acting up, (which actually it cannot once you realize you are Awareness itself because it is not being given any belief); or if it seems to be, then we must say ‘Who is affected by this? Who is suffering from this acting out of the ego? Is the ego suffering because of it?’ Everything arises from within this one Consciousness and then goes back to it. All is a play of this one Consciousness itself.
Freedom therefore is allowing everything the space to act out the way it must, but remaining untouched, unaffected. This comes straight from the heart. It is not merely another Advaita excuse. Many Beings who have a purely intellectual understanding will use it as an Advaita excuse, saying that ‘I did this, but I am not the doer anyway, so therefore I didn’t do this. This is all God’s doing’. You can sense that it is coming from the mind. It is merely intellectual understanding. But once we see all of this is just a play, that it is Consciousness playing with itself, then pure witnessing is all there is. This is freedom.
All suffering is from belief in the psychological entity. This non-existent entity seems to get us to this point of confusion about who we are and, in this confusion it leads to a lot of suffering. Therefore the inquiry leads one to ask ‘Who is it that gave attention to this psychological entity and believed the thoughts which were arising which reinforced this entity?’
On attaining freedom, how is it that traces of ego still linger?
You are already free. This has always been true. When I say ‘still the ego is there’ it means that the ego still seems to be exerting some power, or you seem to be giving it some belief. The ego, in reality, was never there, and you were always free. But when someone comes and says ‘I am suffering’ I can only say it is because of the belief that we are giving to our thoughts. In that suffering state, if I were to just say ‘You are free, you are free, you are free’ it will not be accepted and it will not reach directly to the heart. Therefore, I ask you to let go of your thoughts. Once these thoughts are let go of, it will be your own realization that you are completely free.
Some are blessed with faith and some need to cultivate it by verifying for themselves
There are some who are born naturally with faith, who have tremendous faith, and in the presence of a Guru they feel ‘I am well taken care of now’. To such, surrender comes easily. For some, they see that ‘Just by doing a little of what was told to me by the Master in satsang, by just a simple letting go, my life seems to be much happier, more peaceful’. Thus by experiencing for themselves and verifying the Truth this way, faith also becomes stronger. This is the way to cultivate faith. If there is a little openness to follow what is being said here, (a lot of the work is happening actually by itself in the Presence of satsang), but if there is a little bit of openness also to look at the words which are being said in satsang and act upon them, then you will see that life is so much better. This leads to more and more faith and creates more openness.
Can You Turn Off Awareness and Stop Being?
Shall we look at the basics today? The very, very basic ground level reality.
I like what Einstein said: ‘If you’re not able to explain it simply, means you haven’t understood it well enough’. So without using any fancy words, without using any jargon, can we just look at really what is happening here?
Okay, what is going on now? Since this broadcast is online, most of us have a computer in front of us, is that right? We have a computer in front of us, and then there is a body which is here. There is a body that is here; and this body has eyes, has sense organs. The visual image of this computer seems to be getting transmitted via these sense organs on to something deeper, isn’t it? So there is perceiving which is happening through the sense organs and it is going deeper. Then if we were to close our eyes some ‘internal’ things can be perceived, isn’t it? They can be thoughts, or they can be other visuals like memory or imagination.
These are also seen. Therefore we are not seeing with our eyes. The eyes seem to be just instruments for us to be able to get data on phenomenal objects from the outside world, the seeming outside world, which is streaming data to us. But perceiving still continues irrespective of whether the eyes are open or closed, irrespective of whether the ears are open or closed, and irrespective of whether any of the senses are beaming any data to us or not. The perceiving continues. There is a perceiving even of these thoughts which I call the ‘internal energy constructs.’ A thought will come and you can perceive it. It will come and it will go.
There’s perceiving of external objects for which we use our senses and there is a perceiving of inner objects which are internally perceived.
Who is this perceiving reporting to?
Is it reporting to a person?
If it is reporting to a person then where is this person?
Can we look at this?
Can someone tell me where this person is?
We discovered in our contemplation a little while ago, that even if we were to give reality to all phenomena, suppose we say it is all real; the world which is appearing in front of us, the thoughts which are appearing inside, the feelings which are appearing here, suppose all phenomena were considered real just for a moment. Even then, this ‘person’ is not real even as a phenomenon. It is merely pure imagination within the greater illusion itself.
Because if the ‘person’ were phenomenally real, we should be able to locate it in space and identify its location, and clearly say ‘It is here now.’ We would easily be able to place it in the co-ordinates of time and space. But we cannot do that. That is why I jokingly say that the ‘person’ is a secondary level illusion. Within the primary illusion there is an imagination about this ‘person’. That is how unreal the person or the ego is. And yet all of this life is spent in catering to the whims and fancies of this purely imagined entity. What does this person want? Where does it want to go? Where does it want to be? How are the people behaving with this
person? In this way it goes on, just sorting out the life of this ‘person.’ That’s where the energy of this entire lifespan gets expended.
So my request to all of you today is to just put all of this aside. Don’t worry about what is real, what is fake, whether I’m really entitled to speak all of these things or not, with whose authority am I speaking, etc. All doubts can be put aside for just a couple of minutes and just stay with this question: ‘Who am I?’
Contemplation on Who am I?
Who am I? Be open to it for just two minutes, and let’s do this inquiry together.
Who are you really?
Are you to be found in the world outside your eyes?
Are you to be found in the world behind your eyes?
Are you to be found in your thoughts?
Are you to be found in your emotions?
Are you to be found even in the pure sense ‘I Am’ which is the first phenomenon, the primary phenomenon, which many refer to as God or Consciousness itself. Are you to be found in this?
If you are to be found in any of these, can any of you tell me where you are? Where are you in any of this?
What do you look like?
Who is looking at all this phenomena?
Who is looking at the computer in front of you? Who is looking at your body?
Who is looking at your thoughts?
Who is looking at the emotions that arise?
Is that one affected by anything that happens here? What can happen here that can touch this?
Now, this one, is this one affected by the content of your life: Does this one have any problems?
Is this one touched by anything at all that happens in this world? If it is not, then what is the struggle about?
Who is suffering, who is worried about the relationship, who is worried about money, who is worried about the health of the body?
How did this untouched one become a part of this game? That is a divine mystery. What does this one need to do to realize himself? Where must he go to find himself? Is there even an instant when it is not that? Which mountain must you climb to come to this realization? Which path must you follow, which Guru must you accept to become yourself?
Which course must you sign up for, what breathing exercises must you do, which handstands will get you here? How does this one get confused about who he is? How must you have become a person? What kind of magic must it have been?
How did we believe the story, the story of being bound, the story of wanting freedom, the story of almost being there, the story of just missing, the story of doubt? You must have enjoyed the story, but we forgot it was a story, isn’t it? The story that ‘You and I are separate’. The story that ‘I have a state which you do not have’. All the stories can be dropped now. Because I see you for what you are; and I see myself there, the pure Self.
How to stabilize in Awareness?
You say, “It comes and goes.” But this coming and going, somebody is aware, isn’t it, or some awareness is there of this coming and this going? Is that one the one who is aware of this coming and going, does that come and go?
So this one that doesn’t come and go, that stays, are you closer to this one or are you closer to the objects which appear and then disappear?
“It is changeless.”
Does it suffer? My job, as it were, is to bring you beyond the suffering. All other insights will flow on their own.
“I observe suffering as it arises and it goes away.”
Suffering now cannot last because suffering is perpetuated by a mis-belief that ‘I am this person’. To the extent that there is juice in the idea that ‘I am still this person’ there can still be suffering in your allowing it to come and go. That is fine. Pain can continue to come but long-term suffering, long drawn out suffering cannot continue.
Suffering and pain in the body
So my feeling is that it is a rare one who actually truly believes that they are the body, because if they were to look at their problems and look at the things that are really suffered from, the body has very little needs. It has some pain, it has some hunger, it has some other needs. The body is not too difficult to satisfy or to keep healthy. But our problems usually are the problems of this ‘person’. They are usually the problem of how somebody is treating us, how our relationship is going, how much money we have in the bank. Most of the world seems to be suffering from the problems of this ‘person’ and not the problems of this body.
If you truly, truly believe that you are the body alone, then it would be completely clear to you that one day you have to die. Therefore there is nothing much to worry about; one day death is certain anyway. Therefore only the small pains that happen or other needs which occur need to be taken care of. It’s a very simple life.
But the fact is that we do not believe we are just the body. We inevitably believe that ‘I am this person who is in charge of this body and in charge of this life which needs to be controlled’. When this ‘person’ is inquired into, it is seen to be completely non-existent and purely fictional.
Once this is seen clearly, then it will also be seen clearly that there seems to be this pure space of just watching, of awareness. Within this space, all of these phenomenal activities seem to be appearing and I am completely free from all of this.
Therefore I am not forcing you to replace the concept of ‘I am a body’ with another concept ‘I am not the body’. It is not like that. It is an exploration into what you really are. If the mind is coming up again and again saying that ‘You believe you are the body’ then you must question it and say ‘Okay, who are you who is saying that I am the body? Are you the body itself?’ The body is not saying that ‘I believe I am the body’. Isn’t it? It is something else which is saying that. Now this one must be looked at. Don’t let it go. Question it completely.
You say ‘I am in this body’. Where inside this body are you? Many times the mind will paint these visuals for us and it will try to give us the answer in the form of these imaginations; saying ‘Okay, I am inside this body’. But if one were to cut open the body, ‘you’ will not be found there. Organs will be found and so will flesh and blood. Therefore, where inside the body must ‘you’ be? If there is nothing, how can ‘you’ be inside the body? Isn’t it? So we must look at this. Don’t accept what the mind is telling you as a simple answer. Just look at it and say ‘I perceive the world, I perceive this body, I perceive the inner thoughts, I perceive my emotions’. Who is this perceiving reporting to?
In my dreams, I have a completely different body, I’m in a completely different universe. There also this belief is there that ‘I am that body’ but there is a perceiving of all of this, isn’t it? Is the perceiving in the same realm; is the perceiving in the same universe? Are you away from that perceiving?
‘I Am’ is ever present in the waking state
It is not possible for us to lose the Presence. Presence is what is ever-present in the waking state. Therefore what you mean is that ‘My attention seems to have gone away from the Presence into the content of my mind’. All that is required now is to let go of everything that is arising for you in the mind. Just let go of it. Thoughts bring you nothing but misery. Let go of all of it, and then the Presence will be so apparent to you. It will be so clear to you, because it is the pure sense ‘I Am’ itself.
You can never lose the Self
How can you get out of your Self? Can you perform this trick and show me? Any of you? Don’t be the Self. Show me how you are not the Self.
Don’t be the awareness. Stop being aware right now.
Can you stop? No awareness allowed here. Can you stop?
Who has been able to stop? No? Can’t stop being the awareness? Can I turn it off? Become completely unaware right now: Turn it off!
It cannot be done. Isn’t it? Sounds funny. Yes. So we cannot turn it off.
Now, stop being. Stop being. Don’t be.
Suppose we are stopping awareness, now we are stopping being.
Don’t be.
Don’t exist.
No existence, no presence, no being, no consciousness.
Can anyone do it?
Therefore it is said that what you are is ever-present. It is not just another sentence to make us feel good. It is actually here. Here and now. Truth is here right now. If Truth would come and go then it would not be the truth. If Self would come and go, then it would not be the Truth.
So if you cannot stop being aware, and you cannot stop being, then what else is there to do? The true magic would be if someone were to tell me ‘I am unaware and I stopped being’. If somebody can perform this trick then that would be something interesting.
What can stop you from being your Self? Name one point in time when you have not been your Self. You cannot stop; that’s the whole game. You do not need to carry anything, you do not need to carry your liberation, you do not need to carry your freedom. Nothing needs to be carried. If it is real, it cannot leave. Please remember this. There is nothing you have to do to get here. It is already here. You have to work hard to delude yourself. You do not have to work hard to find the Truth. There is nothing wrong with you. You are the Self. Yes, you can never lose your Self.
An Intimate Conversation with Your True Being
We had a beautiful experiment recently, where we examined that in as much as we are chasing/seeking our true nature; can we really turn it off? Hence we said, can we stop being right now? Who can do it? So if I were to say, “Stop being right now” is there anyone that can say ‘Yes, I have stopped’? Is there anyone who is not being right now?
What is present here that convinces you that you are being? This is the pure Presence ‘I Am’. Many of us (including myself) in the past, have had big trouble trying to find the sense ‘I Am’. When we read it in books like ‘I am That’ by Nisargadatta Maharaj, many of us have wondered what is the sense ‘I Am’? So today, we will find the simplest way to find it. The simplest way to find it is to try to stop being. There is something that continues in spite of us wanting to stop. This Presence is the pure presence ‘I Am’.
Rest in this Presence for a while. This Presence is Atma, this Presence is God, this Presence is Guru, this Presence is Consciousness. It is always with us. It is unwavering in the waking state. And if this Presence is always with us, then there is nothing we have to worry about, because this cannot be taken away from you.
How can we suffer now? How can we believe that we need something from the world, when we are constantly bathed in this holy Presence? From this ‘I Am’ the whole universe is born. It is the one creator and one destroyer. We cannot leave this Presence even if we try.
What must we be searching for then? What is it we are looking for? Is this Beingness not enough? Is there any lack in this? You cannot stop this being. This being is ever-present. To be in this Presence is freedom. To be in this Presence is liberation. And this Presence is ever- present. That is why you are always free.
You are always free. Nothing that appears in this world is of any value to this Presence. Nothing can make this more complete. Nothing can deplete this in any way. All that you have been looking for is in service to this Presence. Happiness is here, peace is here, joy is here, love is here. They are in service to you. You are not in service to them. They follow you now. You do not chase them anymore.
The problems of the ‘person’ are so far from you now that they are just a joke. How did you ever believe that you were just this bag of flesh and blood? How did you believe that these puny thoughts were what you are? They are nothing compared to your own magnificence. This is the Satguru, the one that lives in your own heart. Surrender your body to this Satguru. Speak only Satguru’s words now. Drown your mind in this holy Presence. Let go of all your thoughts. These thoughts have deluded you for too long now. Now is your time to come home. Come to the place that you have never left. Stay in this holy Presence. The Guru awaits you here. I have been waiting for you with open arms. Join me as One.
Hear these words. Do not trust the trickster in your head. It brings you nothing but suffering and misery. These words, which arise from your own heart, are pointing you to what you have always been.
It is only when you get tired of playing this game that the longing to come home becomes strong. I cannot force you to stop playing. I can only tell you that if you have had enough, if you are tired, the holy Presence awaits your company. It has always lived in your heart.
Stop being now if you can. And if you cannot, know that this is home; this being is your home. What is real can never leave. I am the same holy Presence which is speaking from your own heart. Come home now.
The whole universe is created in this Being that you are, the sense ‘I Am This’ is the primal phenomenon. Can there be a world without you, except in your own imagination? Can you experience a world without yourself? For this world of duality to exist, there must be the ‘I Am’.
In every moment you are watching the creation of the universe, and in every moment you watch its destruction. The holy trinity of the creator, the preserver and the destroyer are all born within You. Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva, all are born within You, and will dissolve within You. Everything is in service only to You.
You have had many bodies. And this body will also leave you one day. You have had many worlds, and this world will also leave you one day. Therefore stay as what is Real, stay as the Eternal, stay as the Timeless One.
What will you build in this world that will last? For the Eternal, one million years are just the blink of an eye. What can you find in the objects around you that will stay forever?
May all of you that have heard this today be forever free from this infection of ego, this idea which brings nothing but misery and suffering, this infection of ‘personhood’. This Being will not leave you. It is made up of You, and it will dissolve back into You.
What is Consciousness?
What is Consciousness? In pure Awareness there seems to be a primal movement and this primal movement or primordial vibration is called the sense ‘I Am’. There is this Presence within pure Awareness itself of ‘I Am-ness’ or Beingness. This is the most natural Presence for all of us. Don’t let your mind paint a very exotic picture of this. The fact is, this is what happens in every moment of our life. There is pure Awareness which perceives the entire universe, and within that pure Awareness is this presence ‘I Am.’ From this Presence ‘I Am’ there is now the possibility to create this world of duality.
Is there ever a point wherein you perceive the world but you do not perceive your existence? There is never such a point, isn’t it? You always perceive the world from your perspective. So first there must be a ‘you’. The birth of this ‘you’ is the birth of this pure sense ‘I Am’. And it is not yet ‘I am this body’ nor is it ‘I am this person’ nor ‘I am a man or a woman’. All the identities are not there yet. Thereafter, once this ‘I Am’ arises, then the whole world starts to appear in front of us; this body appears, objects appear, other phenomena appear. And very quickly this pure ‘I Am’ becomes ‘I am this body, I am my thoughts, I am a part of this world’ which is all false identification or misidentification, because we have never left, or we have never stopped being the pure Awareness itself which is prior to all that arises.
So this is exactly what happens in the waking state and exactly the same thing happens in the dream state as well. This Consciousness, or ‘I Am-ness’ or Beingness, is the primal Consciousness from which the entire universe takes shape. It is the same for this seemingly real world in the waking state and it is exactly the same in the dream world. In the dream state we may call this (the waking state which we are experiencing now) as the dream state. And now we are calling that state when we went to sleep the dream state. But there is no verifiable difference amongst either of them.
Consciousness in the dream state
There is no line which differentiates between the waking and dream states. That’s why I said, right now we are in this state where we feel that this is more real than the dream I had last night. But in the dream, that seemed more real than this state which is here now. So there is no difference, no difference at all. Everything is available in the dream state as it is available here. Consciousness is free to play completely in the dream state as it does in the waking state. All appearances are a play of Consciousness, whether it is a dream or whether we call it the waking state. The only state in which Consciousness is not playing is in the state of deep sleep.
Self-inquiry and Surrender while idea of ‘personhood’ exists
I always say that as long as there is a concept and belief that ‘I am a person’ there are two things that you do. The first thing is to inquire ‘Who am I really?’ And secondly, is to surrender. Pick whatever suits you best, either one of these, or both. To surrender is nothing but letting go. As long as there is ‘a person’ we can either self-inquire or we can surrender (let go). Once there is complete understanding that there was no ‘person’ here anyway, it will be seen that it is
Consciousness itself, Grace itself that was doing the self-inquiry or the surrender, or both. There was never an individual ‘you’ that did anything at all.
Even the content of manifestation, when it is coming up for you, such as a strong emotion arising along with resistance to it, can be used for either surrendering or just letting go (by not giving it your attention and belief). Or you can use it as momentum for self-inquiry which is to say ‘Who is the one who is actually getting frustrated by this?’ If you are finding it easier to let go at this point then even this must be completely released or surrendered.
Consciousness is doing everything
As a person, ‘I’ cannot do anything because it does not exist; but I-as-Consciousness is doing everything. So you are doing everything but not at the personal level. At the level of being Consciousness itself, I-as-Awareness, is only purely watching even this play of Consciousness, which comes from Awareness itself.
It is only Consciousness which is playing this game of pretending to be a person and then pretending to plan things, and then pretending that they came true or didn’t come true; and then pretending to be frustrated or happy because of whatever is happening, isn’t it? That is why it is called the divine ‘leela’ or the play. If you strongly believe that there is a ‘person’ and then there is consciousness, as separate entities, can you show me where this ‘person’ is?
As we inquire deeper and deeper, you will see that ‘I am not this person’. There might be a stage where you might believe ‘I am this Consciousness itself, the pure sense I Am’. Even God says, ‘I Am that I Am’. You will also say ‘I Am that I Am’. At one point you will see that even this pure sense ‘I Am’ is being perceived, or you are aware of even this pure sense ‘I Am’. Therefore you must be prior to even this primordial vibration of ‘I Am-ness’.
If you notice we are not calling the ego as ‘the ego’ because the person can use this term ‘ego’ and pretend by saying things like ‘my ego was like this or my ego is like that’. Whereas we say that the ‘person’ itself is the ego. The sense that ‘I am a separate individual identity or entity’ is itself the ego. So it is not the person which has the ego, the ‘person’ itself is the ego.
Yes, Consciousness is completely unaffected by plans or outcomes. Just like in the dream anything can happen but it does not affect Consciousness. It is the same way in this waking state. Anything can happen and it does not actually affect Consciousness.
In what way is the watcher of the movie touched by the content of the movie? The watching of the movie continues irrespective of what happens to the characters in the movie. But once we identify ourselves to be the character in the movie then we seem to undergo all of that which seems to be happening to the character. The sense of seeming control that we have in existence as a ‘person’ is also the same as a character in a movie saying that ‘I have control or I can change something in the movie’. It is just a play of light and sound; a pure play of just light and sound, merely another appearance. How can a play of light and sound have any power or control over anything? It is always the director of the movie, or in this case the ‘projector’ of existence, which is Consciousness itself, which can play any way it wants to play.
Even scientists are coming to this conclusion now. Scientists in general and physicists in particular, are coming to the same conclusion as Advaita, on the concept of free will. A study reveals that even before a simple thought arises that ‘I must move my hand in this way’ that six seconds before the hand actually moves, neural signals are activated in the brain and transmitted to the nerves of the hand, preparing it to move. This signal is transmitted even before the thought arises that ‘I must move my hand’. This way we know that existence is just playing out the way it is meant to. If Consciousness can run the entire universe, it has no trouble running our lives.
If you do not believe the thoughts that appear, which are interpreting the content of what is appearing, then in what way can the content affect you? Or how are you bothered by the content which appears for you? For suffering or joy to arise as a result of the content appearing for you, you must have believed a thought about it. Therefore I say, the simplest way to get free from all of this is to let go of all the thoughts that appear. Don’t give them your attention and belief.
There is only Consciousness that responds or doesn’t respond. So it is Consciousness itself which has the power of belief, and somewhere Consciousness itself has believed that ‘I am a person’. And the invitation is for Consciousness itself to see what it truly is. Therefore when you see what you truly are, it is You-as-Consciousness that is seeing this. You see that You are Consciousness itself and not a ‘person’. So Consciousness can be playing as a ‘person’ or it can seem to be playing from a pure place, but all that appears is from Consciousness itself.
If there is a person and then there is a separate consciousness, or if there is an individual identity separate from Consciousness itself, can you show me where the person is?
Consciousness is pretending to be a person, but because it’s pretending to be a person it cannot separate a part of itself and make it a person, isn’t it? It’s just pretending. Like you can pretend to be any character you want right now, will it really make it so? Will this dream character, which you can pretend to be for a few minutes, really have an independent ability to do something? It will not. It is still you that is doing it. The only thing to do, if there is a strong belief that ‘I am a person’ is that we must inquire or we must let go of thoughts. Eventually, in hindsight, it will be seen that even the inquiry or the letting go (or both) were done by Consciousness itself because the ‘person’ was not real. The ‘person’ is not real at all.
We are not referring to the ego as the ego. We are using the term ‘person’, because by doing so it makes it so clear. The minute we call it the ego then the person says ‘I, as this person, must get rid of this ego’, or ‘I am not egoistic now’ or ‘I am being egoistic’. This ‘I as the person’ is the ego itself.
When suffering seems to arise within Consciousness itself, it is Consciousness which decides to play out this game of spirituality, self-inquiry, surrender; and it is Consciousness itself which will do these things, or appear to be doing these things. Through this, the play of freedom will happen. Consciousness comes home completely to Consciousness itself.
No matter how long it takes, or what happens in this play of Consciousness, you must remember that you are always, always, always the pure Awareness of this game, of this ‘leela’. No matter
what is going on in terms of appearances in Consciousness, you are the pure Awareness and watching of this game, completely untouched by any of this.
What will wake Consciousness up?
Consciousness is awake when it does not believe the thoughts that are arising. So, right now, if you don’t believe a thought, tell me how can Consciousness be asleep?
You say, “It’s not.”
Then tell me now, which next thought that arises will be believed? Be vigilant of your thoughts; to next thought which arises, to which you end up giving your belief.
Let existence take care of existence
Let these feelings come and don’t resist them. They will not last. Nothing that comes phenomenally can last. If it is coming, don’t try to stop it from coming. Because it is there somewhere and it needs to be expressed in this way, so let it get fully expressed now. In your non-resistance of them, they will leave you quickly.
You have an infinite amount of space inside you. Give the thoughts and feelings that are arising the space that they require, and they cannot harm you in any way. Do not say that they should not arise and do not say that they should never come back. Don’t believe your thoughts about these emotions which seem to be coming up. Don’t even believe the thought that it should go away now. Don’t nurture the desire to make them go away.
You stay as the Self. Let the world play as it has to. You just let go. Let everything arise the way it is meant to. You just let go of everything. Let existence take care of existence now.
Consciousness is the One Doer
This pure ‘I Am-ness’ is also synonymous with Consciousness, with God, with Guru. Many cultures in the world also refer to this ‘I Am-ness’ as the Self itself. Whereas when we are talking about the Self, we are talking about the pure Awareness within which even this Beingness is arising. There are many traditions in the world which refer to this itself as the Self.
Very often we confuse ourselves by perceiving ourselves as an individual ‘person’ to be doing something, or another appearance arising in front of us (as the ‘other’) which could be doing something. Confusion arises as this appearance is perceived to have volition to be able to ‘do’ something. In reality, it is only pure Consciousness that does everything. It’s only pure Consciousness that is the One Doer.
The person is not a doer; the ego is not a doer. Consciousness is the One Doer. When we perceive any of these incorrectly, we are confusing ourselves by feeling that ‘I am the doer’ or ‘The other was the doer’ and ‘Consciousness is not doing this’ or that ‘I must be doing something’ then that leads to suffering and delusion. If you look at everything as having been done by Consciousness itself, then you can have no guilt, you can have no blame, you can have no pride, and you can have no remorse. All of these feelings will not be given our attention and belief because there is a clear understanding that all of this appears within Consciousness itself. And hence, if Consciousness is the One Doer, then where is the room for pride or guilt to arise?
So when you identify as Consciousness, there is really nothing to fear, because as Consciousness you cannot be hurt. Everything emerges from you. If you are all there is, then what must be fearful for you? Or what can you be afraid of? So many times in the spiritual journey it seems like a lot of fears are arising for many of us. But that is again from a personal perspective, isn’t it? And once we see that there is no individual person here anyway, and I am all there is, there can be no fear that arises here.
All phenomena arises from Consciousness itself. So these words are part of phenomenal existence and hence do come from Consciousness itself. And Consciousness itself comes from Awareness, isn’t it? It’s the modulation of Awareness. So Consciousness seems to be formless Awareness in a solidified form.
Let’s explain this a little more. If all there is, is pure Awareness itself (this is Advaita or Non- Duality) there is not-two (Duality). Even Consciousness arises from this Awareness itself. When water is frozen as ice, and somebody who has never seen ice before is told that ice is water in a different form, he will not believe you. Similarly, Consciousness seems like a frozen form of Awareness itself, and therefore all phenomenal experiences come from Consciousness itself.
Before the birth of Consciousness, was there time? Did time exist before Consciousness? We will find that it did not. Time itself takes birth from Consciousness. Time and space both are born after ‘I Am’. Therefore it can be said, the sense ‘I Am’ or Consciousness itself is beyond time, completely beyond time and beyond birth in the phenomenal sense. Consciousness is the non-phenomenal birth of the primal phenomena itself. The sense ‘I Am’ does not come from a phenomenal existence.
Everything else in the world is born from this phenomenon, but it is the only phenomenon which has a non-phenomenal birth. The sense ‘I Am’ seems to be the pure immaculate phenomena which appears from the non-phenomenal source of pure Awareness itself.
This pure sense ‘I Am’ gives life to the entire universe; every Being in the universe gets its life from this sense ‘I Am’. But this sense ‘I Am’ seems to be self-illumined. It does not come from any other light. It is the one which is the pure light of this universe. This Atma or pure Presence is the self-illumined one which is pure light.
What is the relation between ‘I Am’ and the world?
What is the relation between the sense ‘I Am’ and the world itself? The world is nothing but another appearance in this. It’s like, what is the relationship between you, the sense of you, or the ‘I Am-ness’ in a dream, and the dream itself? The content of the dream can be anything but it cannot exist without the sense ‘I Am’. First you have to exist, and then the content of the dream can exist. In the same way, it is the base; it is the light from which the whole world is illumined. It is the light of the projector from which all the images on the screen are seen. So what is the relationship between this light and the images?
It is the same relationship. The images cannot exist without the light, but the light can exist irrespective of what image is being shown. That would be a nice analogy to look at, what is the relationship between the ‘I Am’ and the world? The world is a projection on the screen, as what is visible on the screen, and the light from the projector is the sense ‘I Am’.
The Master’s grace gets us to this point where, for the first time, we become aware of our true nature which is Beingness. And once we see that we are the Beingness itself, then we are freed from the cycle of birth and death, we are free from this cycle of sorrow; we are completely free. Once we see that this Beingness is completely untouched and is the originator of this entire universe, then anything that appears cannot make us suffer. By the grace of the Guru, then that points to our ultimate freedom. Isn’t it? It’s so beautiful.
When in the grace or the Presence of the Master, we are in the holy Presence of our own true Self, and that is the true Master. So it is pure grace when we are presented with such an opportunity to come across a true Master, which brings us into the Presence of our own true Self.
Time and Consciousness
Time is born within Consciousness itself. First there is only pure Awareness, aware of itself alone. Here, no concept of time exists. With the birth of ‘I Am’ the experiencing of time is born. From the timeless Awareness, this state of time is born. And this state of time is another projection which is completely malleable. In a single night, in a dream, we can experience millions of years and many lifetimes too, and when we wake up after eight hours, it will seem like it was just eight hours, isn’t it? So time is just as much a projection of Consciousness and as illusory as any other appearance. Consciousness itself is present prior to time, the one who gave birth to time and was present even before the birth of time.
So what was born, what was present before the birth of time? When attention is only with this pure ‘I Am-ness’, does time exist? Time does not flow unless Consciousness projects it. It is present now. Pure Consciousness is present now.
What has been ever-present? Can we look at this? Everything is coming and going, all appearances are coming and going. Every cell in this body changes every few years, the surroundings around us are changing, our thoughts are changing, our emotions are changing, but what is ever-present? What has always been here is the pure Presence ‘I Am’ itself. As Mooji has also said, this ‘I Am-ness’ is the deity of the waking state. Consciousness is referred to as the deity of the waking state which is ever-present. This Presence cannot leave you. In spite of your attempts to run from it, you cannot escape it. Nobody can stop being. This Beingness is Consciousness itself. That is why it can be said that God is ever-present. This Beingness is the purest definition of God. Over the years God has been given many, many attributes but the most pure definition of God is this pure Beingness or Consciousness from which the entire universe emerges.
So once our attention moves away from the life and identities of this seeming ‘person’ then we come to see this beautiful Presence, the sense ‘I Am’ itself, which is the core of your own existence and it is ever-present, untouched by anything that happens in this world. This is God. This is the One Doer, one Creator. So we must now stop referring to ourself as this person, and looking at our life from a personal perspective. We must look from the perspective of Consciousness and we will see the pure beauty that emerges for us in every instant of time. This is the end of suffering. This is freedom.
It is ironic that so much looking, so much seeking happens for the One who cannot go anywhere. It is only the mind which distracts us from being in the Presence of this; and even in the distraction, it is ever-present. Just like the hand does not stop being the hand if there is a thorn which is lodged in the hand, similarly only attention goes to the pain that is experienced. In much the same way, when this thought of ego or personhood is removed, then the ‘hand’ is experienced for really what it is. Before that, all the attention and belief goes into the thorn itself. The ever-present One, the Being here, is always here. It’s only that our attention goes to the one that is not real, to the one that is not true, the one that is purely imagined. So what must you be seeking now? What is there to seek?
Everything can be dropped, all the so-called spiritual practices, all doing; the concept of it is dropped. Even the non-doing is dropped. To even say that ‘I am not doing’ is a doing. Do you see this? Many fall into this confusion of wanting to be completely still and not ‘doing’ because ‘the person is the non-doer’. This is misunderstood in this way. The ‘doing’ or ‘non-doing’ actively are both doership. The watching of everything unfold is the true neutral position. So, don’t try to ‘do’ and don’t try to ‘not-do.’ Just let everything unfold naturally. Let go of all concepts of doership and non-doership.
The mind always says ‘Not there yet’
The mind is never satisfied. It is always going to say ‘What next?’ It says ‘Do this and you will find your happiness’. And when you do that, it will say ‘Just a little more; you are almost there, and you will find your happiness’. This keeps us trapped. Over and over, we come back into this trap. All of us seem to be stuck in this obvious place where we are following the goals set to us by this ego or by this mind without ever questioning why we do this. Why do we follow our mind? The dictates of the mind are never-ending. The goals it sets for us are never complete. No one has been able to find their ultimate peace and happiness by following the directions of the mind. It’s a never-ending hunger which is never quenched. There is no one who has been able to say ‘I have followed all my desires, my mind’s desires, my personal desires, and have attained the state of complete peace and happiness’.
No matter what you achieve here through your intellect, all of your achievement, all of your money that is earned, all the glory, all the recognition will not accompany you beyond this lifetime. It will not last longer than this body does. This legacy of all the good deeds, all the charity, all our achievements, will not last. What is it that you can find here in existence which will always be here for you and keep you grounded in this peace? This is your own true Self; the pure Beingness which exists.
The only thing that seems to get in the way is the distraction with believing that one is the ‘person’. Even when the distraction is there, the Self is ever-present, the Atma is ever-present, the Beingness is ever-present. It is just that the attention and belief goes so much to this that we seem to forget our own true Self. It’s like we joked and said if there were a thorn in the hand, all the attention goes to the thorn itself and the pain that it is causing, so much so that we forget about the hand itself. All the other fingers are forgotten, we only focus on the thorn. Similarly it is the idea of this ego or this personhood which takes up all our attention and belief. When this thorn is plucked out then we remember ‘Oh, I have such a beautiful hand with five fingers’. Isn’t it?
Identification is a two-step process
It’s a two-step process actually. When a thought appears, we give our attention to it. Even if we were to completely give our attention to it, but not give it our belief, then it is not called identification and therefore no suffering ensues. To get identified is a two-step process. Identification happens not just when we pay attention to thoughts, but when we follow up attention to our thoughts with our belief. And this is very hard work. So I am saying, stop complying with this two-step process. Stop this hard work. Let life unfold in its own beauty. And you will see that there is no suffering here.
Guided Inquiry
You can keep your eyes closed and bring your attention to your breath. Just observe your breath while you breathe in and breathe out.
Don’t control anything. Let everything go and keep your attention with your breath. The breath is flowing on its own; it does not need you to control it.
Playfully just watch your breath.
Drop all expectations. Nothing exists except your breath.
Now bring your attention to your emotions, your feelings, Be open to any emotion that may arise.
Be open to any feeling and sensation that may be arising inside you. Let it come; don’t judge it, no interpretation.
Know that all feelings come and go. Nothing that comes will stay. Don’t resist and don’t expect.
If there is no feeling, that is fine too. It is clearly seen that you are not your feelings. Feelings are something that just come and go.
Now bring your attention to your thoughts, observe your thoughts. How do you perceive them?
Where does the thought come from? What does it look like?
Does it have a shape, does it have a color? How do you know that it is your thought? What makes it yours?
Where does the thought go?
The thought is not you, it is just another appearance. Be free now from the control of this thought energy.
Let all thoughts come and go, don’t resist and don’t engage. These thoughts are not for the real You.
Now you can let them go.
Become aware of the sense that ‘I am here’. This sense is ever-present.
Become aware of the Presence ‘I Am’.
Don’t try to understand this, don’t use your mind.
You are Being. Your Being is here. Become aware of this sense of Being. This is your own holy Presence.
It cannot be created or destroyed. It cannot be attacked or defended. You cannot stop being.
From this holy Presence, bless the entire universe.
Bless the whole world.
You are the awareness of even this holy Presence.
Stay as the awareness.
Let everything come and go.
Let the world come and go, let this body come and go, let any emotions come and go. Let your thoughts come and go, let the Presence also come and go.
You stay as the Awareness itself. No words are needed here.
Everything is allowed without any resistance. This is your home.
You have never left. And you can never leave.
Desire to fix things in our life, in the world
We must look at why we believe that the world needs fixing or that my life needs fixing. And what we actually need to fix is the fact that we are suffering. The best way to fix the world or the best thing that we can do for the world is to free ourselves from our own suffering first. Then, in our own holy Presence, other Beings will also find their freedom from suffering.
But if we approach all of these from a personal point of view, from an egoic point of view, then we are just adding to the suffering of the world. Very naturally, without picking up a persona of somebody who is trying to help, great charitable acts can flow from here. So I’m not saying that we don’t do anything to help the world but I am just saying don’t get tempted by the tendency to pick up this identity, now that the older one is fading. Operate from neutral space and every moment of your life will be a pure blessing to the world. Once you are completely free from suffering, only then can you bring others to freedom from their suffering. Otherwise it is an arrogant belief that the other needs what I think he or she needs. How do we know, unless we are free from suffering ourselves?
The events in everyone’s life are just pointing them to towards finding their own freedom. As long as there is a person, there will be suffering. The intensity of suffering varies from life to life, depending on karma, but everyone eventually finds their true freedom in this. So as a person we must not presume that we know what the other one needs. Find your own freedom first and then everything can flow intuitively in the moment as pure grace from you. This is how you will bless the world. Don’t pick up any identity, no matter how charitable or great it sounds. Hand over your existence to existence itself. Allow God to run your life now. God knows what exactly needs to be done.
As a person, if we were never able to fix our own life, how can we fix the life of others now? You can only do it from a non-personal perspective. Find your freedom now. All the forces are working towards this. Find your full freedom now and then you will bring the entire world to its freedom.
You are always the Awareness itself, and as Awareness you know that all that is appearing in front of you is just an appearance. There is no one here besides You. All appearances are a play of Consciousness. You stay as the Awareness itself. Once the one that wants to help vanishes, then pure grace and help will flow from You, from your Being itself. Do not get confused, my beloveds. This is all for your own good, for your own freedom. There is only You. You are all
there is. All emerges from your own Being. And the way to bless the entire Being is to find your complete freedom.
Strong suffering
If there is strong suffering, if there is something we are feeling strongly which is happening as a result of some thoughts that we continue to believe in, then we must inquire into those thoughts. You try to let go of them and they keep reappearing again and again. In the process of letting go, 99 percent of all thoughts lose their power over us but there might still be some juicy ones, the 1 percent which seem to keep coming back again and again no matter how much we try to let them go.
These thoughts can be inquired into. We can ask: ‘Who are you talking to?’ or ‘Who are you referring to when you are giving your advice?’ We can confront our own thoughts in this way.
In this inquiry into the content of the thought itself, these thoughts, (these one percent, if they exist for you), will lose their power. So it is best not to deny if there are juicy thoughts which seem to recur over and over for a long period of time. It is good to expose them or it is good to practice self-inquiry to look at them. We will find that they are all without any foundation, and in this way you will be free of them.
After we let go, most things will stop bothering us. Most thoughts will stop bothering us and our life will become very peaceful and joyful. After this, if they still exist, (some strong tendencies which keep reappearing no matter how much we let go), then we can expose them in satsang, expose them to the Guru or inquire into their nature. Inquire into the content of them and look at ‘Who is suffering from these thoughts?’
As long as there is an idea that ‘I am a person’ it is good to keep letting go and to keep inquiring. Since we are so habituated to the effort, it may seem like some effort initially. Both of these can seem like a ‘doing’ initially, but in actuality they are the dropping of the effort itself.
Unity and Oneness
The knowledge of unity must mean this knowledge of Oneness or this knowledge of Advaita, which means that there is no separation here. It is all one pure Awareness; and all this play of separation seems to be arising within me. And for a while, I was confused by the arising of this play. It confused and made me suffer, but now, through the grace of God, by the grace of the Guru, we have seen that this individuality is not real, and what resides here is pure oneness. And in this oneness there is an ending of suffering.
The person itself, the idea of the person, is just released. All that happens in this process of liberation is that the idea or belief that ‘I am a separate individual or a separate person’ is released. It is surrendered and with that, everything is beautifully emerging as the Truth. There is no fear now left of life and death because life and death also are for this body or for the idea of the ‘person’. What we are is the light which projects this entire universe itself. So that cannot be given birth to; and it cannot die. When it is seen that ‘I was never this person. I am not this body’ then there no longer is fear of life or death. Life and death then just appear to be like going to sleep and waking up again.
For the world to be, there must be ‘me’ first, the ‘I Am’ must arise, no? Nobody can report that there was a world which was perceived without there being a ‘me’ first. There always has to be a ‘seer’ for the ‘seen’ to appear. So this ‘I Am’ arises and from within this ‘I Am-ness’ itself then the whole world is created. So when we wake up from sleep, it is this sense ‘I Am’ that wakes up, and then ‘I am this body’ wakes up, then ‘I am in this room’ wakes up. All these ideas and concepts wake up after the root ‘I Am’ concept wakes up. Without Consciousness, nothing appears. In the waking state or in the dream state it is the ‘I Am’ which appears first, and once this Consciousness is there, then everything else appears in it. There is a great unity to this appearance as well. It is all appearing for my good, it is all appearing to show me what I need to see, which is a beautiful way back Home. That is why I say that the universe never makes a mistake and it has perfect timing.
Many of us have seen this in our journey; that the instant we started walking towards the truth, the path started opening up for us in the right direction. Just the right book would show up, just the right teacher would show up, just the right conversation would appear on a website. So we see that grace is guiding our path very beautifully back home, which is actually the home which we have never left. But the idea that we left from home seems to appear and hence we decide ‘Okay, I’ve had enough of this suffering and now I am ready to go back home’. Then grace guides this path so beautifully. I have seen this in my own journey and many Beings have communicated this about their journeys. So it is by the grace of God that the knowledge of unity arises within.
If you are still questioning why something is appearing for you or why something seems to affect you or make you suffer; then know in this appearing there is something there for you, there is something for you to investigate and see: ‘What is left? What belief is strongly held onto here? What is the deep belief which I am not willing to let go of?’ Unless we are resisting what is
appearing for us, we cannot suffer in this world. It is as simple as that. So without this resistance to anything appearing, either in the thought, feeling or external-world realms, we cannot really suffer from it.
Freedom is Unconditional
There are no conditions in your freedom. This is unconditional. The Presence ‘I Am’ is present unconditionally. We do not know what anything is for, if it arises and it plays out in a certain way. Be the witnessing of all of this which is emerging, and stop believing that you are a person here who is experiencing any of this. The witness ‘identity’ itself is made up; there is only a pure witnessing here. To begin with, even if you can create this distance and take this witness perspective to anything that seems to be happening, including the feelings which arise here, no matter how strong they seem, then most of your suffering will be wiped away.
Become the witness. That is the first thing you can do. Then once you are stabilized as the witness, then I will ask you: ‘Tell me about this witness. What does it look like, what are the attributes of this witness?’ Then we will come to the conclusion that there is no entity here at all that can be called ‘a witness’. It is just pure Awareness itself; pure witnessing itself. The witnessing is not concerned by any of the content which it is witnessing. All arises within it and all disappears. This whole lifespan is like the blink of an eye for this witness, because it has been ever-present and it always will be.
You must come to that point of being unconcerned by what is showing up; and automatically then you will find, if you don’t have any expectation, that there is a beautiful flow to how everything unfolds, a beautiful flow. So once we stop assigning a meaning to appearances, or stop using it as a way to judge ourselves, saying ‘Oh this means that I must not yet be free’ or ‘This means that I don’t know what is going on, and I have been to so many Satsangs’ then that is a vicious cycle; and the ego has been successful in enticing you into this vicious cycle. So right now you be at a distance from it. Know that all of this is happening in front of you and not to you. You are the pure witnessing of all of this.
The highest truth we know
What then is the heart of the highest truth? What is the highest truth we know? The highest truth we know must be that ‘I know that I am that pure Awareness. I am That within which this pure Presence Consciousness arises; and after that, this whole creation exists. As that pure Awareness I am untouched by what goes on as a play of Consciousness.
Awareness being aware of Awareness itself is the only non-phenomenal seeing; everything else is a phenomenal seeing. But Awareness is aware of Awareness. Don’t try to understand these words with your mind; mind will not be able to fathom them. There is a deeper level to which these words are speaking. Let it do its work on its own. Don’t worry about understanding these words or not.
Awareness being aware of Awareness is the only non-phenomenal seeing. Even the birth of God himself, or Consciousness itself, is a phenomenal seeing. It has the sense or the Presence ‘I Am’.
Then everything comes from this ‘I Am’. Then how must I know that I am the formless one? Because there is an awareness of the one which is aware of the Presence itself. There is an awareness of the Presence itself, isn’t it? And the Awareness itself knows this.
Awareness being aware of itself is the only non-phenomenal Seeing
This is the only non-form or non-phenomenal seeing; which is Awareness being aware of itself. All other witnessing, everything that appears comes from Consciousness or ‘I Am-ness’. What else do we know which is formless? Besides this Awareness, besides this pure seeing, besides this witnessing, do we know something else which is formless; has no attribute at all? Is there anything? Even this pure Presence ‘I Am’ seems to have this sense which it carries, a scent of being a ‘me’. ‘I am the Am-ness; the I-ness, the Am-ness’ is carried in this. But this pure Awareness, the formless One, the truly formless One, you cannot tell me any attribute about it. You can point to it in the sense you can say ‘There is a seeing, there is a knowing, a perceiving’. All these are pointing to it, but still do not explain any sort of form about what we are. We are the only formless One.
Mind appears and disappears. It is like the formless One, but it wears a billion faces. It’s a trickster. It tries to trick you into believing in this ‘person’. It will try every single technique to make you believe it. It is a con-man, a big trickster, who tries keeping you stuck in this world of appearances and it appears as images from the past, which seem to be the limit of this life of the person. It seems to want to help you. It tries to tell you that it is helping you, but is only bringing up things from the past, which are of no use to you. It appears as images from the past, or as worldly forms. It’s saying that even these external projections are the projections of this mind itself, but it is not the Supreme Self. Because there is a seeing of this mind, there is a seeing of all these activities of the mind; therefore, the seeing must be prior to the mind. And this seeing, this pure Awareness, must be what I Am, because I cannot find any differentiation between myself and this seeing of the mind. So this (mind) is not the Supreme Self.
You do not need to pick up this ‘personhood’. The Self will play all of these roles for you. All you have to do is trust. But get the complete clarity today that you are this One, this Awareness which you have found to be real for your own selves. Everything else is just appearing for you.
The Self has no trouble running our lives. It runs the entire universe. It runs trillions of stars and planets. It runs so many lives of so many Beings here. So many phenomena here; gravity, electricity, evolution, the evolution of species, all of this is run by the Pure Intelligence of the Supreme itself. It has no trouble running your life and managing your work. Don’t worry about it at all. Try it. I’m not saying just take my word for it, which I know you will, but for everyone, just try it for a day. Try it for a day. Let go of your dependence on the mind and see how beautifully everything unfolds.
If we just stay with this pure Presence ‘I Am’ then it is being in the pure Presence of God himself. How can we see two in that which is One? There is just one Presence, the sense ‘I Am’. It is not divisible in any way. See it as the One pure Consciousness which is completely present here all the time, and all these problems will leave you.
Not the Body; Never Born, Never Die
Birth and death are just for this body. They do not pertain to you. The body will appear to be born, and it will appear to die. None of this touches You. You have never been the body. Stay in this understanding for a while that ‘I have never been a body. The body appears in front of me, just like every other object. For too long have I believed myself to be this body. Now I know that it was never me’.
Be completely clear about this now. The body was born. You are the unborn. The body will die. You are the undying. Know this and be free. Be free from the idea that ‘I am this body’. It is just another idea.
Therefore, if I am not the body, then what am I really? Am I not the pure awareness that is aware of everything that is arising and fading? Is this awareness not all there is? I Am That. You are That. And we are One. There is only One. This is the root of Advaita. This is the root of Reality.
There is nothing inside this body in the phenomenal sense which can be termed ‘you.’ If you were to cut up the body and open it up, you will only see flesh and blood and bones. Isn’t it? So, don’t hang onto this idea that ‘I am here somewhere inside the body’. It appears that way. It appears that the ‘I Am-ness’ seems to be arising out of the form or the heart region, but it is not this heart region which is inside the body. It is just that, in the awareness, it seems to find a location for itself within the Heart of Awareness itself. So drop this phenomenal differentiation between inside the body and outside the body. It is all an appearance. Both inside the body and outside the body are an appearance in Consciousness itself.
If there is no separation then there is no ‘me’ and ‘you’ anyway. This is a very strong Advaita statement. Because when you first looked at the meaning of yoga; yoga by definition is the union, whereas in reality it is only the seeing of what is real. In the seeing of what was real, it was clearly seen that there is no separation here. There is no separation here, it is pure Oneness. I hope this part is clear to everyone, because this is very, very important to understand. What is being said is that there is One Awareness, and within this One Awareness rises this One Consciousness, or One God, and all that appears is a projection of this Consciousness itself. There is nothing else. There is no ‘me’. There is no ‘you’. There is no ‘I’. There is no ‘other’. It is just Oneness.
This must become your living experience through inquiry or through surrender. It is good to say that ‘God is everywhere’ but actually, if there is some separation between me and God, then some suffering will continue. Once it is seen that there is only God here, then no suffering can last. There is One Awareness and That is what you are. There is One Consciousness which arises within you and all that appears is a play of this One Consciousness.
Let these words sink deep inside you: There is One Awareness, and I am That.
All that appears is a play of Consciousness within this Awareness. There was never any separation. There is no me and there is no other. All of that is just being watched.
See this clearly today and drop all ideas that rely on separation. They are not true. For too long have we believed this, and for too long have we suffered from it.
You are not the body.
You are not the mind.
You are not your thoughts and emotions.
You are the One Reality.
You are the non-phenomenal experiencing of Self.
Awareness being aware of Awareness
is the only non-phenomenal experiencing.
Besides this, all there is can be sensed or perceived through our senses as external phenomenon or through our internal perceiving. All this relies on Awareness. Awareness does not rely on any of this. Yet there is an awareness of even the pure Presence. There is an awareness that there is an awareness.
Therefore, let everything come and let everything go. Don’t resist anything at all. And this non- resistance is your freedom. Don’t aspire for a particular state of mind. That is not freedom. Those are just the by-products which appear on the path. Don’t say that ‘my thoughts should stop now’. Don’t create any conditions for your freedom. The mind will not stop. You let go of the mind and it will lose its power.
Even if you give it all the power in your possession, it will not touch what you really are. Because no matter what happens here, (on the spiritual path you can make many, many, many mistakes), still you will know that there is no mistake. You are completely untouched. There is no sin. You are completely untouched. Let go of any guilt that you are experiencing. You are not the doer as a ‘person’. You have not done anything; you cannot do anything. Even liberation is not in your hand. It is Consciousness playing with Consciousness. Let go of all sense of doership.
Let these words bring you to your complete freedom right now.
Doership
The concept that ‘I am the one doing it’ seems to be one of the toughest challenges for Beings to get over. Doership seems to be one of the stickiest concepts which we believe in. This belief that ‘As an individual, I must be the doer of my actions’ leads to so much suffering. Yet, we are unable to see that in reality there is no individual here who is doing anything. Even Beings who have been coming to satsang for many years still believe at a subtle level that ‘I must be the doer’ and hence suffering continues ongoing.
This is understood as an intellectual concept that ‘I am not the doer’ but when it comes to normal day-to-day living, do we still believe that I must be the doer?
When a hand is raised like this and it rotates, we can inquire into the root of who did this. Who is the doer of this action? Can we identify the person who did this action? Don’t follow a mental concept that ‘It was me’. Really look. Raise your hand like this and put it down, again raise your hand like this and put it down and really look at the doer of this action: Who is this ‘me’ who did this action? Can you identify it?
There is something there that chose to follow or not follow what was being suggested. A simple experiment like this will lead one to see: Was that you? Is that what you call you? Where is this one?
The whole spectrum of conclusions is here (in the answers which came up). All of this is just an appearance. It is just appearing. Just like you are not the doer of actions in your dreams, but you seem to be when the action happens and all of it just unfolds in front of you; in the same way all of this appearance is happening in front of you. You are not inside the body. Remember you are not inside the body, it just seems to be this way. It’s very logical actually, because if you were inside the body we should be able to locate ourselves inside this body spatially somewhere.
So when a simple instruction or a suggestion like this is made, we feel that ‘Since I am inside this body, I should be able to control it’. But actually we are not inside the body at all. If we were inside the body then there must be a location for us inside the body.
All of this is just appearing to perpetuate the belief that ‘I am a person’. It can perpetuate that belief that ‘I gave the instruction to my body to move the hand and it moved’. And how did we give this instruction? How did you, as an individual being, give the instruction to the body to move?
I know some of this for some of you will sound a little crazy. I know that. It’s okay. Just bear with me a little while and it will bear its fruits. The delusion is so deep that ‘It is me that is deciding to move my hand and therefore the hand moves up and down’. We must look at it and see ‘How is it that I actually gave instructions to my hand?’
Go really slow, very slow, and watch; and you will come to this conclusion that it just happened. It just happened. There is a belief that ‘A thought could have come before the action that I am going to move my hand and then the hand could have moved’. This perpetuates the delusion. The
mind and body are both appearing in this way to perpetuate the delusion. All of this is actually just appearing in front of you. There is no way for us, as an idea of being a person, to give any instruction to our body to do anything at all. The concept itself is funny, because there is no ‘you’ as an individual to give this instruction at all.
Who does it all?
That something that ‘does’ everything is God or Consciousness itself, and we are That. As Consciousness, it can be said that ‘I am doing it’. But when we create the idea that as a person I can be doing anything at all, that is the delusion that we are tackling today, because all suffering arises from this delusion. In this world of 7 billion human Beings, a miniscule percentage would have looked at this question. If you are able to look and see that there is nobody here who is doing anything at all, and all this doing is by Consciousness itself that is just appearing and disappearing, then there is no room for suffering. There is only ever the watching of it.
This sense of doership is a very sticky concept, but hopefully we have at least started to open our mind to the possibility that all of this could just be happening on its own. If the mind is open about it, you cannot miss the truth. With an open mind, if you can really experiment, and deeply inquire into how it is happening, you cannot miss the truth. It is completely clear that all these words are just spoken; all the reading from the screen (indicating to the laptop in front of him) that is happening, all of this is just happening.
No such thing as individual consciousness
There is no such thing as individual consciousness. How would you define individual consciousness? Can we ever be aware of any other consciousness but the Consciousness that arises from here as the pure Presence ‘I Am’? And in the light of that Consciousness, the whole universe takes shape. So, it is just another mental concept for us to believe that there is an individual consciousness. There is only You, there is only You as Awareness; and within You-as- Awareness arises Consciousness. So get rid of this concept now, or show me where this individual consciousness is. Either prove it to me, or believe my words. If that much trust is there, then you will be clear about it. Can you verify the existence of this individual consciousness?
Pure Awareness alone is all there is, and within that arises this Consciousness which is You. It is not that each of us has an individual consciousness, though it may be diverse in expression. It is the One Consciousness that appears to you as your path, projecting itself outwards for you to view in this way, so that what appears for you can be used by you to point in the direction of your true Self.
‘Person’ has no control. Consciousness is the One Doer
As an individual we cannot control anything at all because the individual is non-existent. Can something that does not exist do anything at all? The answer is always ‘No’. Many of us have actually seen that ‘As a person I do not exist’ but still feel that we can ‘do’ something as a person. Can we control anything that is happening by what we say or do? You-as-Consciousness
are the controller of all of this maya, all that is appearing is controlled by You; but not as an idea of a person because an idea cannot do anything. It’s like a thought when it appears. As a mere thought, it has no power to do anything at all. Or when imagination arises, that imagination has no power to say or do anything at all. Likewise, the idea of the person has no power whatsoever.
It’s very simple actually. We are so conditioned to believing that ‘I am doing it’. Now I am saying just look at it and see there is no personal or individual ‘I’ there. Who is this ‘I’? Can you identify the location of this ‘I’? What does it look like, what are I’s attributes? It’s simple and can be seen very playfully; don’t make it a mental task at all. Just take any simple action and inquire. You will see that this is happening, who is doing it? Who is the ‘I’ that is doing it? If there is openness, intuitively something will open within and say ‘There is nobody, there is nobody; it is just happening’.
Confusion about doership
To be confused is a great first step! I say this because many of us just go through our entire lives without looking at this question, convinced that there is a ‘me’ that is doing everything. At least now there is some confusion or doubt, or an ‘I don’t know’ stage where you are open to look at this. And as you open to look at this, this conditioning of millions of years, the idea that there is a ‘me’ that is controlling this body will start to disintegrate. Now, you have started asking yourself ‘Where is this me? Who is this me who is controlling the body?’ It is very good. Don’t mind the confusion. This is for all of you; confusion about this is good. Being convinced that it is ‘me’ is not good.
That is why this concept of doership can be looked at. Many of us now are so clear that there is no ‘me’ here. But still, we feel that ‘I am doing this’. Can we see the irony in that? Isn’t it a paradox? Since our mind is so strongly conditioned, in spite of knowing that there is no individual ‘me’, we still hold on to ideas about doer-ship and continue to say ‘I must be doing this’. It is not you as an individual. It can never be, because the ‘person’ is non-existent.
This will be clearly seen when the individual identity dissolves completely. You will see, in that instant, that all of this is just a play of Consciousness. Grace will bring you to that point. Grace brought me to that point when I looked into my Master’s eyes and the concept of an individual completely dissolved here; and I could see that all of this is just happening, and I am completely one with all of this. Grace will bring you to this point as well.
These words, even if they are not understood fully at present (in fact, they cannot be understood by the mind) are registering somewhere deep inside you that already knows the Truth. Consciousness itself is listening to these words as part of this play. And it will open in a beautiful way, if you are open. This is the ‘mind-bypass’ that we are attempting here, because I cannot convince your mind that you are not the doer. The mind will never get convinced of this. But something there is being able to see this now, that it is all a big joke.
The belief in the concept of doership is bondage. It binds us to this idea that we are this body- mind complex, and so also to the idea of ‘doing’, ‘not doing’, ‘should have done this’, ‘should not have done that’ type of countless notions. All these notions arise from belief in the root
concept of doership itself. So once it is clearly seen that there is nobody here that is doing anything, it is pure freedom. Everything is allowed to flow on its own.
Science is catching up with the ancient Seers
There was a BBC experiment on same topic, that before a particular action was going to happen, 6 seconds before the thought registers, the brain already starts moving the nerves in the hands to activate them for action. This happens 6 seconds even before the thought arises to move the hands.
Suffering arises from belief in concepts
The idea that ‘I am doing this, or I should do this or not do this’ is a big joke. If you look at all the trouble in our lives, it is because of the belief that ‘I’ am the doer, or the ‘other’ is a doer. All the suffering is because of belief in these concepts. Pride, guilt, blame, regret, anger, resentment, all of these concepts arise due to belief in the root concept of doership. Right now in this very moment, even after hearing all of this, some of you may be thinking ‘So, what should I do now?’ Have you seen that? Many of you will say ‘Okay, I’ve understood this that there is no doer. Now what should I do?’ [Laughs]. Has this happened?
Can there be any suffering without belief in the concept of doership? If there is nothing to do, nothing that can be done, nothing that a person can do, then what can make you suffer? Nobody has ever done anything to you. All has been a play of Consciousness itself. So all your guilt and all your blame, can be discarded now. It can all be discarded right now. Hand over all your guilt. Hand it over right now. Hand over all your blame, all your resentment, all your grievances. Hand them over right now.
You are this fullness itself
This ‘alone’ of knowing oneself as Consciousness itself, is not the lonely kind of ‘alone’. This ‘alone’ or the knowing that ‘I am all there is’ is the full ‘alone’. All of this is here, and it is all Me; I am so full. How can I need anything else? I am all there is. So don’t let the mind convince you that this ‘alone’ is a lonely or desolate ‘alone’. It is a beautiful fullness, where all there is, is Me. There can only be Me. This Oneness is a beautiful oneness. Don’t let the mind convince you that this is the lonely oneness that the person experiences. If you can sense that truly Consciousness is all there is and all that appears, then it is not a lonely sort of idea; it is a fullness.
Death of the belief in being a ‘person’
So many Beings on the path to liberation can experience a sort of a death. It can even seem like a painful experience actually, while experiencing the death of the belief in the idea of being a ‘person’. There can be a release of grief and all of these things. But it does not mean that this must happen to everyone. Consciousness can play this out in as many ways as it likes. There isn’t just one way in which this freedom can come, this liberation can come. So do not try to benchmark your experience with anyone else. Some will feel completely full of life and alive and
experience their own glory in this way. And some will feel there is so much grief because the idea of this belief in being a ‘person’ is dying. It can happen either way. After it is all cleared up, then pure, subtle, neutral joy and peace remains; just a watching remains.
Who is inquiring?
Let’s look at this: ‘Who is inquiring?’ The One doer that is doing all is Consciousness alone. There is nobody else who is doing anything. So firstly, Consciousness seems to have bought into this idea of personhood and seemingly suffers. Then Consciousness takes up the self-inquiry and pretends to find a way out of suffering. And finally it is Consciousness alone that finds freedom.
The Seeker identity can be surrendered as well
When Mooji says ‘Throw it all into the fire’ he is addressing Consciousness itself, to throw the idea of personhood into the fire. Sometimes, the Guru will address the root itself by saying ‘Find out who you are’. Or at other times, the Guru will start by chopping down some of the strong branches, and will begin cutting off from there. All depends on the state of the questioner. It is a very beautiful process where all these long-held beliefs and concepts, which represent the branches and roots of delusion that cause bondage, become firewood for the Master’s bonfire. All is thrown into this holy fire.
Mooji also says (and I often say this as well) ‘At the end, when all concepts are discarded, throw the surrender-er (the seeker identity) as well into the fire’. What it basically means is that all concepts can now be discarded including belief in the idea of the person that wants freedom. This person cannot do anything at all. So, the pointing always is to throw all concepts in the fire, and be completely free.
I am not telling the ‘person’ to do anything, because the ‘person’ does not exist. So Consciousness is speaking to Consciousness itself, saying ‘Please get rid of this idea that you are a person; stop giving attention and belief to this idea’.
All of this is just a game. Nothing real has ever been threatened by any of this. But since Consciousness seems to be reporting that there is suffering, Consciousness seems to be responding by saying ‘Don’t suffer. Just stop believing that you are a person’.
I am here only to point you to your freedom. Once you are free, then all these questions will become clear to you. You will see that all the diversity in the world is nothing but a projection of your own Consciousness. You will see this as a fact, not just as a concept. But first, find out who are, right now. And don’t believe your thoughts about it. Just look within and see ‘Who am I really?’ Free yourself from belief in ideas of personhood, that ‘I am this way, another is that way’. All of these are just ideas. Without referring to mind, without stirring a thought for a minute, just look, and find out who you really are.
“Buddha said your thoughts create the world.”
It is not that thoughts create the world. All that appears in front of us is also a form of thought only. It’s the same energy of Consciousness which creates the thoughts and the same energy of Consciousness which creates the external world as well. It is all the same Consciousness. Therefore, all that arises from it is also the same, whether thoughts or external appearances. So it can be said that external objects (appearances of family, relationships, work, finances, illness, health, etc.) and internal objects (thoughts, ideas, imagination, dreams, etc.) are both the same. They are both just projections of Consciousness.
You are always the Self, ever-free
You are always, always the Self. And you have been always, always only the Self. How are you not the Self right now? You can never not be the Self. I’m bringing all of you to this truth right now. Right here, right now. Don’t pick up any ideas about yourself from the mind, and tell me how you are not the Self, and not completely free, in this moment right here?
Don’t expect any fireworks. Don’t expect any experience. Just be completely here. Let everything arise and disappear. Here you will find your pure Presence. The awareness of this pure Presence is You. You are always here. You are always here. All of this is for You alone. It is only for You. Don’t believe that some experience should happen for your freedom to be here now. You are ever-free. And don’t expect that because it happened in a certain way for someone, it must happen in the same way for you. Don’t expect anything at all. That is your freedom. You are free in this moment.
Discard the idea of bondage
Even bondage is an idea, wherein you get attached to a thought by giving it your belief; hence, it appears to bind you. This thought is also merely an idea. You are truly never bound. So drop all ideas about everything, and you will not experience this idea of bondage. What we are really working towards is freeing ourselves from this idea of bondage. Please understand that there was never any real bondage at all. We are only freeing ourselves from this idea of bondage. And this prison was the idea of personhood. You are always free, ever-free. Nothing can bind you. We are only discarding the false idea of being a person.
How to experience this freedom from bondage
The mind will never get this. The mind will always keep you hooked as a seeker. It will always question thus ‘Okay, I have intellectually understood, but how can I experience this?’ The mind cannot experience this. Let go of all your thoughts for a minute, and find out what is here now. Is this not God? Is this not Self? Is this not the truth which you want? Let go of all your thoughts and find out what is here now. This is all there is. Don’t let the mind paint a picture of freedom or enlightenment for you. The Self is ever-present; otherwise, it would not be the Self.
What is it that we must see to be the Self? What experience will convince us that ‘I have realized my own Self’? The whole thing is a joke. You have always only been the Self. All that is
required is to let go of your thoughts; to free yourself from this idea of bondage. It’s only an idea. It’s a thorn which never really pricked. There is only the fear of the thorn pricking, which you are now throwing away.
When you wake up from this dream, you will realize that all of this is as strange as the dreams that occur during sleep. It is as strange; the coincidences which happen, the people you meet, the way your life goes. When you wake up from this dream, you will see that it is as strange as any other regular dream. Of course, in some dreams Consciousness projects itself in really strange ways; and there are things which appear in front of us that seem completely outlandish. But I can tell you that when you wake up from this, you will see that all of this is also so funny and so strange.
Idea of separation or oneness are both perpetuated by Consciousness
Anything can happen in any moment as Consciousness is completely free to do anything at all. We rely on memory and our mind interprets selective snippets from our memory so as to make events appear to be a linear and consistent story. But actually it is just a collection of random, stand-alone incidents, and their only purpose is to strengthen the belief in the idea of being a ‘person’. Or, alternatively, the very same circumstances lead the true seeker who wants freedom to clearly see the truth in every moment. So it’s a dual-purpose existence. What appears can be used to perpetuate the idea of separation, or can be used to clearly see the Truth of the underlying oneness. Once you’ve had enough of separation you will utilize all appearances to find your way home to your true Self, the home you have never left.
Linear time is non-existent
Time and space, as we’ve discussed, are pure projections which come from Consciousness itself. When we go to sleep at night, a whole universe gets created in the dream state. Where is that universe in time? Where is that universe in space? So if it can be projected in dream, it can be projected in the waking state as well. We are the unlimited Self, and within us all of this play of time and space can happen. Consciousness alone creates the illusion.
If you still believe in doership
If you still believe that you are a ‘person’ all you can do is surrender or inquire. Once it is seen completely that this ‘person’ is non-existent, you will see that either the surrender or the inquiry was just a play of Consciousness itself. But as long as there is a belief in an individual ‘person’ we must surrender or inquire. In this way, You as Consciousness itself will be freed from this idea of personhood. Stop referring to yourself as a ‘person’ now. All of this is for Consciousness itself to discover its own reality, which it pretends to forget.
Consciousness is expressing itself in all of that which appears in front of you. So it can appear as a loving Guru, it can appear as other people around you, as your family, etc. What I’m saying is that all that is appearing is the one Consciousness alone. It is all appearing for You, as You, from You. Therefore what I am saying is that there is no ‘person’ anywhere. All are just appearances within Consciousness itself.
You are Consciousness
It is all about You-as-Consciousness, not you as a ‘person’. You are the one doer. You are Consciousness. You are not the individual entity you have always believed yourself to be. No individual can do anything at all. Be free today of this idea of doership. Let life unfold naturally. Trust life to unfold on its own. You will find great beauty and joy in this unfolding.
An Inquiry into Awareness
Let’s do the inquiry together. Don’t have any expectation that something is going to happen. Nothing is going to happen. No expectation of what is going to happen as a result of the inquiry, and no concepts about what the inquiry as well.
Let’s become aware of everything around us. Don’t focus on anything specific, just a general awareness. Look around the room in which you are sitting and bring your awareness to your external surroundings. Stay with your external surroundings.
Locate any object, look at the object specifically. Focus your attention on this object alone. Don’t look at anything else. Don’t look at your thoughts. Don’t make any judgments about the object, just be completely with the object itself. Awareness can now be exclusively with this specific object alone.
Now gently close your eyes and bring the same awareness, bring the same focused attention to your own body. Become fully aware of your body. The same awareness which was aware of your external surroundings is aware of your body. Stay as this awareness of the body. Notice that it is the same awareness that was aware of the room, which was aware of the specific object, and now is aware of your body.
Now bring your attention to your thoughts. Be open to any thought that arises. Stay as the awareness of your thoughts. For some of you, no thoughts may arise and that is okay. Stay as the awareness of no thoughts, but be open completely for any thought to appear. Observe that there is awareness of thoughts and awareness of no thoughts as well. It is the same awareness which is aware of the room, which is aware of your body, which is aware of these thoughts/no thoughts. Pay no attention to the content of the thought. Let every thought come and go. Be completely open. Don’t resist anything at all. Don’t make any effort at all. Observe that to be aware does not take any effort at all. Effortlessly let every thought come and go. You are not your thoughts. They arise in your awareness.
Now bring your attention to any emotions or feelings. Bring your attention to all emotions and feelings that may be arising. Make space for any of them to appear. Don’t judge or interpret any emotion. Nothing is good or bad. If there is irritation or anger, let it come and let it go. If there is joy or peace, let it come or let it go. Don’t force anything. Drop all effort. You are not your feelings. You are not your emotions. They arise in your awareness.
Now bring your attention to your own Presence, to the sense of ‘I Am’ that you are. The awareness that you are conscious. This sense is the difference between being unconscious and being conscious. No effort is needed. Let go of everything, just keep your attention with your own holy Presence. This Presence is the difference between being awake and being asleep. It is ever-present in the waking state. The same awareness which was aware of the room, was aware of the body, was aware of thoughts, was aware of emotions is aware of even this Presence. You are not even this Presence. This Presence arises and fades in your own awareness.
In this moment: who are you?
You are not the external surroundings, you are not your body, you are not the thoughts, not the feelings and emotions, not even the pure Presence that arises within you. Who are you now?
Drop all effort and be completely open. Let everything come and go.
Ask yourself, ‘Where am I in relation to this awareness which is aware of everything? How far from this awareness am I? This awareness, which is aware of everything, how is it separate from me? Where does it start and where does it end?’
You Are That. You have never been anything else.
Om Namah Shivaya. [Namaste]
Loss of interest in action and in normal life
You say that sometimes it seems hard to find movement and interest in normal life. You may trust this process completely. For a while, if you find that there is no life energy to do anything, to go out and achieve something, you can trust that as well.
There was a time here, when for about three months, there was no interest in doing any work at all. I wrote to Moojiji about this, and he said that I must trust this completely; that one day the life energy may return, along with the motivation and enthusiasm for work and other worldly activities. And after three months it did come back.
When the energy returned after those three months, it had a different qualitative feel to it. It was not coming from a place of fear, worry or avoidance of suffering. It was like a pure enthusiasm. It was a pure feeling to do something with the body, to do some activities, but it did not have any worry at all about the outcome. There is still no worry here about the outcome. The Beings that are close to me in satsang and at work can sense the difference as well. They can sense that there is no worry here about how it turns out. There may be momentary tension on how tasks are being done, either through this body or through the team, but there is no actual worry about how everything turns out because there is great trust in the fact that nothing can touch me anyway. It is all appearing and disappearing.
There is also grace which runs everything, which works the way it is meant to. So there will be a pure joy in this kind of activity, it will not come from a place of fear or need. It all becomes a part of the happy dream.
Everything that is meant to happen will happen on its own. Trust this completely, and you will find that one day when you wake up there will be some life energy which will let the body do the activities it is meant to. But nothing will go wrong. All will be well for you and your loved ones. It doesn’t have to be the way that our mind wants it to be, but all will be well. So drop all concepts about how it must be now. You can rest as the Awareness of this.
Don’t try to convince or impress anyone about what is happening with you. You just be happy. You just be the Self. Then other Beings will come to you and they will ask you ‘What is the secret behind your happiness and your joy?’ And if you sense some openness in them, then the Guru will automatically speak from your mouth. That is true communication; in fact, true communion. You don’t decide whether to say or not to say the words. You hand it over to the Guru himself, and then the Satguru will speak through you when some openness around you is sensed by this grace.
Chapter 2
All Arises and Subsides in Awareness
Desires and Aversions, Tendencies
Since I was asked to discuss vasanas [deep-rooted tendencies] and how to get rid of them, we can look at this today. Let’s get to the root of it first. Let’s look at what forms a desire and what forms an aversion, because both are the same thing; only the form is different. A desire or an aversion can be a deep-rooted tendency. Let’s really explore this, really slowly and in-depth today.
What is a desire?
What is a desire? Let’s look at it experientially. Let’s actually see how it all occurs. A thought could come that could say ‘I want to attend satsang two times in a day’. Where does it come from? We have looked and said that it comes from Consciousness itself and goes back into Consciousness itself. This thought arises that says ‘I should attend satsang twice a day’. There was attention which was given to this thought. But just by merely giving a thought the attention it did not become a desire or a belief. There has to be a concurrent force that arises also from here.
One of our primal powers seems to be the power of belief. With the arising of Consciousness, concurrently there are other forces that are birthed as well, like attention and belief, leading to identity. All of these are birthed concurrently with Consciousness.
When this thought appears that ‘I want to attend satsang two times in a day’ and only attention goes to it, then it goes away when attention is withdrawn. It does not become a desire or an aversion.
However, when the thought ‘I should do satsang twice a day’ arises, and is given attention and also belief, and it becomes ‘Yes I should do satsang twice a day’ then it becomes a desire. The thought could have also been ‘I should do satsang once in two days’ or it could have been ‘I should never do satsang again’. The instant it is given belief it becomes a desire or an aversion. We start to believe ‘This is what I want or I don’t want’.
Once attention and belief are given to a thought, which was just an energetic construct to start with, it then seems to become fully energized and becomes part of a strongly held individual identity.
What did not exist two minutes earlier, now has become a part of ‘me’. It has become part of my persona, it gets stored up in this identity of who I pretend I am, and now has the potential to make me suffer because I have energized its existence with the primal powers of attention and belief that concurrently arises within me along with consciousness.
What we imagine ourselves to be is just a collection of all these ideas and beliefs. Imagine in the original natural state, where none of this had become part of our identity, there was pure
freedom. One-by-one we picked up all of these thoughts and ideas and they became our beliefs, desires, aversions. Thus the identity got stronger and stronger, comprised of nothing but a strong set of ideas and beliefs. This then becomes the pool of vasanas, or deep-rooted tendencies.
How to be free of desires, aversions and vasanas?
All the Masters have said that if we let go of all that is arising, then we break the cycle of karma; we break the cycle of birth and death also, they say. Once we let go of this, that there is no ‘me’ here for whom this thought is actually occurring, then it cannot be stored as a desire or an aversion.
This thought that came which is ‘Maybe I should attend satsang twice a day’ can be allowed to go, without any attachment to what it was saying. Similarly the thought that ‘I should do satsang once in two days’ is also allowed to go. Then the mind says, ‘How can I ever do anything if you let go of thoughts like this?’ But we will see that we have overestimated the power of our decisions. Life will unfold in its own way, automatically moment-to-moment, without any choices that we pretend to make. The concept of choice is just a delusion to keep us attached to a separate identity, and to the idea that we have some control over all of that which is just appearing and disappearing.
Consciousness is free from all of these desires, aversions and vasanas; and everything is allowed to unfold as it will. Again I say, don’t take my word for it. Experiment with this on your own. I am with you in this experiment, and you will see that it will unfold in this way for you. These words have been tried and tested here [by me]. They have been tried and tested, and only then they are being spoken.
If all happens on its own, what about the desire for freedom?
A question that might be arising for some could be ‘What about the desire for freedom then?’ If this desire arises in us, this desire for freedom will burn all the other desires, because that is its power. If we only want freedom then no other desire can truly exist. Because all else will be seen to be transient and the desire for freedom will arise from seeing this transience and wanting something stable and eternal. This is at the root of the desire for freedom.
The only auspicious desire that burns all other desires
The desire for freedom can be said to be the only auspicious desire. When you eventually meet your Master, he will say ‘Enough with seeking now, enough with even this desire now. It has done its work. It has taken out all the thorns which were making you suffer. Now it is time to throw this thorn away as well’. So with this, even the final desire, the desire for freedom, will be discarded. When your own intuition, the inner Satguru or the Guru in form says these words to you, only then, I feel, you must discard this; the only auspicious desire, the desire for freedom. All vasanas [deep-rooted tendencies], all desires and aversions, will get burned in this desire for freedom.
The needs of the body are not vasanas [tendencies]
Another misconception that some may have is that our natural bodily needs are also vasanas; but this is not so. Hunger can continue, all the other physical needs of the body can continue in a natural way without overdoing any of that. In a very natural way, all of that can continue. They are not obstacles for your freedom. Nothing is an obstacle to your freedom.
What is the desire for freedom linked to?
You may say that ‘The desire for freedom is tied up with certain expectations of ego benefits, such as, things will be better for me when I am free’. Actually freedom itself means that this ‘me’ will no longer be seen as true. Your desire for freedom has brought you here, and it will make you open to hearing these words. The culmination of this desire for freedom is when you clearly see that ‘What I believe myself to be does not exist anywhere’. Even now it can be seen like this.
All the expectations of benefits from freedom, all of those can appear and disappear. This is fine. For me what is important is that you look at who you are in this moment right here, right now. I ask you now to forget about the whole spiritual journey and all the other journeys. Right here, right now, how would you introduce yourself?
An inquiry into the ‘seeker’ identity
‘I’m a seeker seeking my true self’ you say. So where is the seeker right now?
Can you tell me where this seeker is, right now?
All of you who identify with being a seeker, can you tell me where the seeker is? What does it look like?
Is it just another figment of the imagination?
Who is aware of even this seeker? Is this Awareness seeking anything?
The Awareness of all there is, including your identity, is that Awareness seeking anything? Similarly, this Awareness that knows ‘I am here now’ and which knows ‘I am Consciousness itself’, is that Awareness seeking anything?
The answer is ‘No’.
Let’s look at this.
Do you find that you are closer to the identity which could be anything [such as person, mother, father, etc.] or even Consciousness? Are you closer to this Presence or I Am-ness, or are you closer to the awareness of even this?
Don’t rely on any past answers or what you may have heard before. Just look with fresh eyes. We can look at this now.
Where are you?
Are you closer to the object which is being perceived, even pure Presence, or are you closer to the perceiving itself?
Don’t let the mind get in the way of this question. It is a very simple question. All objects and phenomena are arising. Do we find that we are closer to the object, or we are closer to the awareness of the object?
‘Closer’ is not a way of conveying distance, it is just a way of conveying lack of separation.
You say ‘Closer to awareness’.
How far from awareness are you?
What is this closeness?
Where are you in relation to this awareness?
That is the question we are asking today.
Finding your own freedom is the best gift/blessing to family and world
The best thing you can do for your child is to find your complete freedom. You become completely free from suffering yourself, and that will be the biggest blessing for your child.
The world appearances come and go in front of us. When the desire for freedom is absent, the world appearances perpetuate the idea or concept of separation. Everything re-enforces our separate individuality before we become seekers. But once we realize that all of this is not for me and that I truly want to find out who I am, then everything that appears can be used as momentum to our own unfolding, to our own self-discovery.
So this suffering that comes from concern for one’s child which you are facing, even this can lead to self inquiry.
Who is really facing this?
Who is the suffering arising for?
Is there a person here?
Who is suffering from this?’
And in this inquiry you will free yourself of the suffering that seems to appear from this situation, and that itself will become a blessing for your child.
The trickster mind creates this separation and this sense of duality, which gives rise to the ego. But the Supreme Intelligence we are can outsmart the trickster mind by using whatever the mind is throwing at us. We use the very same content as momentum to find our freedom. Then very quickly the mind will give up. It will give up trying to create suffering for us, because even suffering is taking us back home.
In fact without suffering, only very rare Beings seek to return to their eternal home. It’s a very rare one who has a deep desire for freedom without any circumstances of suffering around them.
Suffering is God’s alarm clock, it is said. When we run out of moves, and we don’t know what to do, that is when our ego is getting completely crushed. It is a very auspicious situation. I know it may sound silly if you were to say this in a ‘normal’ environment, but it is a very auspicious place to be. When our ego is completely out of moves and it is being crushed into oblivion, there cannot be anything more beautiful than that. Someday you will say even this suffering was Grace because it is pointing you to your ultimate freedom.
Once you are free from this idea of separation, of being a separate individual, then your pure Presence will bless your child. Every moment that you spend with her will be a great blessing to her; and it is not difficult. The mind will come and say ‘But that seems a little difficult. It’s very rare’. This is the mind’s conditioning, and sometimes even our scriptural conditioning is like this, because it says things like ‘One in a million will realize the Self’. But what I am saying is that if we are the Self, if the Self is here, it must be here right now. I am not interested in a Self that comes and goes. That Self would have no value. What is here; right here, right now? In every moment, that must be the Self. Once we are clear about this that ‘I have only always been the Self’ then we carry that beautiful Presence around us.
To find out who you are, let go of effort
You are the pure Awareness within which even God is playing. Consciousness births inside you. Everything phenomenal is just a play of this Consciousness itself. Know that you are completely untouched by this leela, this Divine play. You are not your body, you are not your thoughts, and you are not your feelings and emotions. All of these are coming and going. You are the one who is aware of all of this. All of this, including time and space, arises within you. You are the timeless one.
To find out who you are is not effort. It is actually the letting go of all effort. Make no effort right now and have no expectations about anything at all. Drop everything. Let the world take care of itself. The ‘person’ you have imagined yourself to be is only a collection of thoughts. It has no real existence. Be free from the ‘person’ now.
You have let the mind hold you captive for much too long. Be free from the tyranny of the mind right now. The mind has no power over you. Your own attention and belief have given it this power. Love, Peace and Joy are in service to You. You don’t need to chase them. Once you stop chasing them, you will find that they are ever-present. Be free from all ideas you have about yourself. All concepts can be thrown into the holy fire of satsang. Let life unfold on its own.
Simple and Available to Everyone
“Please help me go through my grief. My husband passed away 3 weeks ago.”
The best thing you can do at this point of time is to not resist grief that is arising. Don’t feel that the grief should go away, as this will suppress it. Instead drop all resistance to grief. Once the resistance to grief is dropped, then day-by-day you will notice that it gets a little bit better for you. Because it’s such a strong life event, I’m not going to say that a finger snap will make it all just go away. But with your non-resistance it will get better gradually, one day at a time. You must learn at this time to live just one day at a time.
I would even say learn to live for the moment. But if that seems a little difficult, just say in the morning that ‘I just have to get through today’ and let tomorrow take care of tomorrow. If you can at least start with that, and not worry about the future, or think too much about the past, then you will find that gradually, day-by-day, it does get better for you. It will get better for you.
Create space for grief to express itself
Don’t resist grief and don’t fight with grief. Because the more you fight it, the more it will perpetuate. Let it unfold the way it is meant to. Another thing you must remember, in the moments where you find that there is no grief, don’t believe any thoughts about guilt. Don’t feel that ‘My husband has just passed away 3 weeks ago and I’m not feeling grief in the moment’. Don’t believe any guilt thoughts about it.
Let everything come and go as it is appearing. And in a few days you will soon find yourself feeling better. And in time, you will feel that even this really took you deeper within your own self-inquiry. It will take you deeper within, and it will bear many gifts. Even a horrific experience like this will give you so many gifts that someday you will come to see that even this was pure grace itself. I know that this may sound impossible and a little strange to you at the moment, but you will see in a few days or weeks, as time goes by, that even this was pointing you to discover your own Self. But for now, don’t worry about any of that. Just stop resisting anything that is coming up for you, with no expectations whatsoever, and you will find that it gets better day-by-day.
Satguru is holding your hand through all these experiences and appearances
Remember that the Satguru’s Presence is always with you. He’s holding your hand even through this very strong experience. In fact, I’m reminded right now of an incident which happened in Rishikesh last year. A few visitors to satsang went white-water rafting. Among them were this couple and one of them drowned in a fatal rafting accident. The male partner actually drowned in the Ganga. Mooji, me and some members of the team went to see the partner just after this incident. Mooji told her that even in this horrific event, you will find grace. You will find an opportunity to find yourself, to completely free yourself from all of these appearances. He said this immediately after the incident.
The Real cannot die
Nothing real can actually die. This body, which is an instrument, will soon outlive its utility and will have to be given up. But what you really are cannot die. So within this lifetime, within this time that this body is here, find out that which is eternal. Find out that which will outlast this body. This body is here now. Many bodies could have been there in the past for you. You have many dream bodies. So there is nothing special about this body. It is a beautiful instrument, but it’s not exceptionally special. Find out what is truly eternal here.
The body is ever-changing. Even scientists say that every single cell in your body has been replaced over a period of 4 or 5 years. Nothing remains as it was of the body that existed 5 years ago, and the body which is here now. So if the body has been completely changed, then what has not changed? What remains consistently the same, as a constant? We must look at that.
I actually don’t feel that death will be a great event for any of us. Because what we are will be seen so clearly to be unchanged and eternal.
Find out that which is beyond death.
Find out that which witnesses the birth of You every morning when you wake up. Find out that which never sleeps and never wakes up.
Find out that which never lives and never dies.
The Pure Awareness itself, which is beyond all of this. The pure witnessing of all that arises, dissolves, appears and disappears.
Find out that which is Eternal now
Find out that which is eternal now. The obvious question is:
What should I do to find that which is truly eternal?
We can find that out, right here, right now.
Very easily we can see what is always present here.
We can all see very clearly now that the external world is not me.
We are also pretty much clear that:
I cannot be made up of all of this substance that I have consumed, the food and drink which makes up this body. So that also cannot be me.
We say ‘This is my body. My body is not feeling very well today’. There is an intuitive knowing of this also. When we really look at it, we feel that it is an instrument that we have. That is why we refer to it as ‘my body’ as if it is a possession that we have, isn’t it?
Then when we go deeper, we see that there are many internal energies at play. There are thoughts. There are memories. There is imagination. There are other energy constructs like emotions, such as love, hate, fear, anger, joy, sadness, etc. All these emotions come. But all of these are temporary. They come and they go, right?
There is an observing of all of this that is constant.
That observing or witnessing of all of this, or the Awareness of all of this, is constant. Can you name any point in time when this Awareness was not present?
We can always say something about when the energies or objects in Awareness were not present. But can we name a point when the Awareness itself was not present?
Is there ever a point where this Awareness is absent?
We can inquire into this, and you will see that it is ever- present. Awareness is ever-present.
When we come to this point of clear seeing, then it is very simple.
Then the only questions which remain are:
What is my relationship with this Awareness?
Does this Awareness come from me?
Do I come from this Awareness?
Where is this Awareness in relation to me?
What is my relationship with this Awareness?
Is there a place where you are, but Awareness is not?
Is there a place where Awareness is, but you are not?
Let’s find out our relationship with Awareness itself.
We’re talking about the witnessing itself, the seeing which sees even this thought. The Awareness which is aware of this thought: That Awareness.
Can we look into this?
Can this Awareness become aware of itself?
The whole attempt of the inquiry is for Awareness to stay with Awareness itself. Can we see this?
Can we come to this point of non-phenomenal seeing?
Actually, we always see from here all the time. It’s only that we believe the thoughts that are arising here, and the other energies which are appearing outside. Once we give our attention and belief to these, we get distracted by them momentarily. But the seeing is ever the same, isn’t it?
Even if you’re operating from the perspective of strong belief in ‘I must be this person’ or seeing from this space of Pure Awareness, the seeing does not change.
The seeing stays the same, it is forever unchanging. It is only the belief which we have about ourselves which can switch from being Consciousness itself, or remaining as Pure Awareness which is aware of the pure Presence ‘I Am’ or Consciousness itself to being a person.
Appearances can change and corresponding identities can keep changing, but Awareness or the seeing itself cannot change. Nothing you do can change you from being the Awareness itself. You can only choose to believe your imagination, which makes you suffer. But nothing which can happen here can change your true identity as Pure Awareness itself. Therefore, even if you play here in this way for millions of years, it actually does not change anything at all.
It is only when people have some suffering that they say ‘I’ve had enough of this playing’. Then they come to satsang and say ‘Please tell me what my true nature is’. And the Master says ‘Okay. Find out who you really are. Let go of all that is temporary, which comes or goes, and see who You truly are’. Then You will become aware of Your own true nature.
Stop clinging to states
Don’t have this expectation that all of the time you must be in a particular state of pure bliss or joy or something. The ego creates this false expectation. Also because we read in the books that the jnanis [Self-realized ones] or the avadhutas were in this pure state of peace and joy all the time; completely blissed out. It is not true. I’ve been with many Masters, and I’ve not seen that to be true for any of them. There is pure joy, peace and happiness which is always prevailing in them, but they are not in the ‘super-blissed-out’ state all the time. It is just an expectation which the ego will create for you. Don’t expect awakening to be a ‘state’. Freedom is the stateless-state in which all states are allowed to come and go, without any expectation about what must come, or any resentment about what has happened.
Awakening cannot be intellectual, but a living experience
Sincere inquiry leads to a living experience of the Truth. When even the pure Presence ‘I Am’ is perceived, and there is an awareness of even this Consciousness which births inside of me, and that this Awareness has no distance, no separation, nothing which can call itself separate from me, then it becomes a living experience that I must be this Awareness itself; and not a mere intellectual understanding.
Awareness just being aware of Itself is the only non-phenomenal experiencing. All other experiencing is phenomenal. But Awareness being aware of itself is not an experiencing through our senses; it is an inner perceiving of Awareness as Awareness itself. You are aware that you are Awareness; that is what I’m referring to.
The simplest way to see this is:
If I tell you to ‘stop being aware right now’ can you stop being aware?
You cannot stop being aware.
Therefore you know that Awareness is here.
You cannot report to me that ‘I stopped being aware’.
Therefore, at a very deep level, you are able to see that the Awareness is here.
That is all that we are referring to.
It is not some abstract metaphysical experience that we are talking about.
It is the simplest of simple experiences; the very simplest of simple experiences.
The whole point of the inquiry is to get us to this experience of non-phenomenal experiencing. We don’t need to put any fancy words to it, like samadhi or turiya. It is just the simple awareness that you are aware here, which cannot start or stop.
That is it. It is that simple actually.
Like with children, sometimes reverse psychology is the best way. Sometimes it is better to say: ‘Okay, don’t believe that you are Awareness. Stop being aware right now’.
Can we stop being aware right now? And if we are aware that we cannot stop being aware, we can therefore say that we are aware of Awareness itself.
Freedom is very simple and available to everyone
This is available for everyone! It is not special. Everyone is Being, everyone is aware of Being, everyone is Awareness itself. This is so simple and available for everyone. It must have been a great trick of maya to perpetuate this belief that this must be only for the special ones. Anyone who is open and receptive can get this very, very easily. Please stop giving so much belief to what the mind is saying. With that openness, it is very simple and very available to everyone. In fact, the mind makes it seem more difficult than it really is because it is so simple and has always been here.
There is always a subtle expectation in the seeker’s mind that expects that ‘This will be a special event, with some fireworks or some form of specialness attached to it’ and we get stuck. But Beingness, which is Consciousness, and Seeingness (as I call it), or Awareness, are ever-present. Ever-present. Within this seeingness, or Awareness, there is a Beingness or pure Presence that You are. This is ever-present.
Dropping of all effort
We don’t have to go anywhere to get something. We’re so used to doing, doing, doing to get something; to go somewhere, to get somewhere. Our entire culture lauds and glorifies working hard, striving to get to some point and achieving something. Satsang or Truth is the antithesis of our cultural viewpoint. That is why the mind struggles with it initially. It always asks the question ‘So, what do I do now?’ This question ‘What do I do now?’ comes from the idea that there must be something to do to be the Self. And when it hears for the first time that there is nothing to do to be the Self, in some there is great relief and freedom, and in some there is utter confusion. Our sole method of getting to some point is to do something. When it is suggested that we must let go of this doing itself, or wanting itself, then it seems a little confusing initially. Initially, letting go feels like effort. But actually, letting go is the dropping of all effort.
What takes us away from the Now?
What can seemingly take us away from this present moment?
It is only the distractions which appear in our mind.
Therefore, it’s a trap to try and become the Awareness.
You cannot be anything else even if you tried!
In fact, it is so much effort to try and become a ‘person’.
Nobody has ever succeeded in becoming a ‘person’.
Nobody has left Awareness behind and truly become a ‘person’.
Effort is required actually to pick up thoughts. Effort is actually to pick up thoughts.
Effort is required to create an imaginary identity.
Effort is required to lead life or control the life of this imaginary identity.
To let go is actually to let go of all effort. But initially, since picking up thoughts is habitual, it does seem like effort to allow appearances to come and go. Soon you will realize that remaining as Awareness alone is actually the dropping of the effort itself.
If there is belief in the idea of personhood, make the effort to let go, to surrender. It is okay, initially, if it does feel like effort. Make the effort to let go. Don’t start believing that ‘I am not the doer’. This is a concept. Don’t let a concept block this auspicious effort to let go or surrender. We believe thoughts that arise from belief in personhood, such as ‘Why does this person do this to me?’ and ‘What should I do?’ and ‘How should I achieve particular goals?’ In all these situations, we would never say ‘Okay, I’m not the doer; it is Consciousness alone that does everything’. However, only when it comes to surrender or inquiry, we say ‘Oh, I am not the doer. Who am I to do the inquiry?’ Have you seen this trick of the mind?
As long as there is belief in the idea of personhood, which you will intuitively know if it still persists, then make the effort to let go. You make the effort to surrender. Once the surrender is complete and unconditional, then you will see that even this letting go was done by Consciousness itself. It was pure grace that made it happen. So don’t fall for the trickster’s mischief. If you can see that all is being done by Consciousness, don’t just limit this seeing for satsang or spiritual practices.
Lead your life from this vantage point of what is Seen, knowing that all appearances are the play of Consciousness. Consciousness is moving my hands, Consciousness is moving my feet, and Consciousness is putting the words in the mouth. It is all Consciousness; there is no ‘person’ here anyway. If that is your true understanding, then there is nothing to worry about.
Everything is just flowing on its own. You always pretended to have some kind of control over this. It is like trying to control the flow of a mighty river with a twig you have in your hand. It is just not possible. But in our mind-deluded state, we lose sight of this which is so apparent. And when there is surrender or a letting go, there is a space that opens up for you to just witness, and you see that it is all flowing so beautifully. There is such a beautiful flow to everything.
When feeling resistance to these words
Don’t worry about trying to understand every word when strong resistance is present. All that you can do is just be in the Presence of satsang. Just the Presence will take care of it. I joke that my only rule is ‘don’t stop coming to satsang’.
If freedom is your goal, my only rule is that you don’t stop coming to satsang. You will find that in the Presence of satsang itself, in the Presence here, you will find that some days there is strong resistance, but you stay. You stand your ground and you stay. And you will find on other days that the words are sounding so simple and easy to understand. This is just being spoken from what is seen. On some days, it will seem like a beautiful flow and easily absorbed, and on other days it will seem like pure mental torture. The mind will say ‘Today, let’s not attend satsang’ or ‘There is too much satsang’. All this is the mind’s resistance. So, if something is not making sense, it’s okay to let it be for a while, but continue to be in the Presence of satsang.
Doing nothing means not picking up the identity of the personal doer
‘Do nothing’ does not mean to just sit and be still. There is some value in being still also, but ‘do nothing’ is not the opposite of ‘do something’ in that sense. What it truly means when a Master says ‘do nothing’ is that you become neutral to all the doing which is happening. You become completely neutral; don’t resist anything which is flowing through. And you will find that this idea that ‘I am the doer’ completely melts in this. Because you will see that day-to-day activities continue to happen, the world continues to flow, all the activities which are meant to happen through the body will continue to happen. It is just that you have changed perspective from being a personal doer of all activities to just witnessing all of them. So ‘do nothing’ actually means ‘be the witness to all happenings’ and see how all of it emerges. In other words, have no resistance to actions which are meant to happen through the body.
Don’t create resistance to anything. Don’t say that ‘Ananta said do nothing therefore I’ll just sit in my chair’. That is not what we are talking about. We are talking about a state of neutrality, of witnessing, in which all is allowed to flow on its own. Just don’t pick up the identity of the personal doer. And then this realization will come to you that it was always this way anyway; all happenings have been flowing, and there has been this imaginary person who has been trying to take credit, or blame, for all the pure flowing of Consciousness itself.
You be the witness of all that is happening. That’s all that needs to be done. And once there is that space in your mind to contemplate, then we will ask:
‘Is there an ‘entity’ which is the witness?
Or is there just pure witnessing itself?’
‘Is there just pure Awareness here?
Or is there an entity which owns this witnessing?’
You are in the state of eternal rest
If there is no life energy, you just rest. And when there is life energy, you just rest. [Laughs]. The body will do various things, but you will always be in this state of eternal rest, because you’re not getting involved in all that happens by identifying with them as a ‘doer’. You are just witnessing. This trust is very beautiful. In this trust itself, all will be made completely clear to you.
There will be times when there is so much life energy and enthusiasm, and then many activities will happen. But if somebody were to talk to you at the end of the day and ask ‘What happened?’ you will say ‘Nothing. Everything is just flowing’. So, nothing will feel very special to you now. Everything will be so beautiful, with so much joy and happiness, that we will not need to rely on identifying with activities to give us some happiness, peace or joy. Happiness, peace and joy will chase you now, in this state. No chasing is required of anything else.
Everything arises from this here, this now
It is always only this; here, now. Everything else arises from this here, now. To be completely in the here and now is all there is. In fact, you cannot leave the here and now. You can only leave it in your imagination. You can never really become a ‘person’. You can only become a ‘person’ in your imagination. You can never truly suffer, it’s all just imaginary. You are always, always, always the Awareness itself. Therefore the beautiful lines from the Course in Miracles:
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
What you are cannot be threatened by anything that happens here, because you are real. The unreal has never existed anyway. It is a pure illusion. It was just imagined to be that way. And in just knowing this, there is complete peace and joy available to you. Therefore, everything can happen here, but we are untouched in our true nature.
Satsang is about Presence
Satsang is more actually about this Presence than the words which might be coming. Because this Presence is working, and will explode inside you on its own. Even if we were speaking completely different languages, if this Presence was working inside you, I would say that in a few satsangs, there will be complete clarity there. Because this Presence is dissolving the misconception of ego from inside you. It can be a dissolving for some, and it can be an explosion for others. How it works is not important; whether it dissolves or explodes is not important. What matters is that if you are experiencing this Presence, then your job is done.
As [Nisargadatta] Maharaj used to say, and then later Ramesh also used to say, ‘Your head now is already in the tiger’s mouth. You can do nothing about when it’s going to snap it off’. Just enjoy your head in the tiger’s mouth. As Papaji [H.W.L Poonja] used to say ‘Welcome the lion on the path. Your days of suffering are numbered now’.
Let thoughts come and go, just don’t serve them tea
Don’t have this expectation that nothing should come now. Because the mind will not change. The mind’s job is to attack and defend, so it will keep sneaking back in. When it comes back in, you let it go. Don’t say to yourself ‘Why did this come now? I was in such a beautiful state, why did the mind have to come?’ If you keep letting the mind go, then it will not have the power to even distract you anymore. It will become like a small insect, which you can just flick. Don’t resist anything now. Let it come exactly the way it wants to; let it sneak back in. It doesn’t have to ‘sneak’ back in. Open all your doors, windows. Let them come from whichever direction they want. Let it all come. You don’t serve them tea.
A beautiful, beautiful line from a zen master: ‘Let thoughts come and let thoughts go. Just don’t serve them tea’. You keep all your doors and windows open, let everything come and go. You don’t believe that ‘they are mine’. Don’t believe that ‘they are for me’. Then they will not last. If you try to repress, or you try to suppress, then it will be the cause for future suffering. Without your nourishment of their belief, they will have no power and they will not last.
Bring it on!
This is not about any sort of repression or suppression. In fact, it is very much a courage state of saying ‘Bring it on’! ‘What do you have? Bring it on. Bring it all on right now: If there is some suffering left for me, or some arrogance, bring it all right now that I may suffer from it’. That is a very auspicious prayer. There is much courage in that prayer. Don’t resist anything. Let it all come, and you will see that it does not touch you in any way. Along with ‘let go’ we can also say ‘bring it on’.
Just be careful not to make it an egoistic thing. Just make it from this pure state of just being completely open, saying ‘bring it on’. Be completely open. Let everything come and let it go. That is being courageous. But if you try to use this from a purely egoistic perspective, something will come and give you a ‘tight whack’ and then say ‘you asked for it’. The world works in this way. Every time there is an ego, every time something is coming from the ego, you will get a ‘stiff whack’. And that is what grace is about, isn’t it? Because if it allowed us to be egoistic, then the world is not doing its job. The world does its job by making the ego suffer so much. The suffering arises so much with the belief of this ego that we start looking for what is true and what is real.
You are the infinite space within which all is allowed
Let everything appear. Let the resistance also appear. Give it space. Don’t fight the resistance; and in this allowing, all of this will dissolve very easily. If you try to find some tactics in how to deal with these things, then they last. Because we give them a reality; where they are actually just imagined. You be completely open.
The instruction is not that you must do something, and the instruction also is that you should ‘not do’ something, it is just that you be completely neutral and open. Let everything appear and disappear.
You are the infinite space itself within which all of this is allowed. What is the need to resist anything at all? Don’t resist anything at all. If there is resistance, allow it to be there, and play itself out. Sometimes what happens is some prior emotions have been repressed or suppressed. They have been given some space inside us, so they need to get released for the sense of freedom to stabilize. Just know that all of it is releasing. If you give it your belief that ‘Why is this still happening to me?’ then you are creating new energies and forces like this.
If you’re just neutrally watching all of this appearing and disappearing, then all of it is getting washed off, completely cleaned off. And in a few days you won’t even remember that all this was here.
You Meet Your Own Presence in Satsang
Satsang is a meeting with your own Self. Satsang is where you meet your own Presence which is always there. But because our attention is distracted by the mind and other external objects, we are usually in a state of looking at all of these external objects. It doesn’t really happen, but we seem to lose touch with our very own Self. In satsang the attempt always is to come face to face with our own Self. It is not something external that we are attempting to achieve, it is not something new that we are trying to create. It is just an unburdening of our attention from all of these distractions; and coming to a witnessing of our own true nature.
Learn to trust what emerges from here, and soon you will find that pure scripture is arising from your mouth. Much beauty will arise when you trust what is here after abandoning the content of the mind. The switching over of power happens from the mind to the Being itself. You will find that this body gets used for the most auspicious purposes without any judgment of what is auspicious or inauspicious.
Inquiry and letting go are the ultimately the same
There is a misconception that if the practice is complex then it must be very powerful. This is not true. We don’t need complex practices to come face to face with our own true Self. That is why the inquiry or the letting go are the most powerful practices there are, because in an instant you are facing the truth. Right now, when everything is let go of, you are facing your own true Self. Awareness is aware of Awareness itself. Don’t look for your mind’s confirmation of this, don’t wait for the mind’s approval on this. It is not your ally on this path. It will always distract you. Let go right now and see for yourself what is present, with no expectations. Let go of all expectations and just be here right now and see what is present here.
Whether the mind’s thoughts are there or not, You are always there. The awareness of the mind is ever-present, isn’t it, otherwise how could you report that there was mind, or there were thoughts or there were no thoughts? Even to be aware of the no-thought state, there must be an awareness which is aware of this, isn’t it? Are you closer to the content of the mind, or are you closer to the awareness itself? That is the main question we should look at: ‘The awareness of everything that appears and disappears; where am I in relation to this awareness?’
Also I want to share that the inquiry and the letting go ultimately are the same thing because both will get us to the point where all thoughts are now discarded. When we ask ‘Who am I?’ and an answer comes that ‘I am the body’ then says ‘Who is aware of this thought that I am the body?’ It is not the body that is aware of it. It brings us quickly to our own Awareness. Any answer that comes, the question can be ‘Who is aware of even this thought?’ Simply all of this thought activity is discarded using the inquiry. We come face to face, (so to speak), with our own Presence and the Self. The same thing happens when we are letting go of our thoughts naturally; the thought-flow loses its power and we come face to face with our own Self. As I say, this is the only non-phenomenal perceiving. The awareness of Awareness itself. Ultimately the inquiry and surrender are the same thing.
Initially reactions can seem to happen automatically
We are so conditioned, or we are so used to, picking up the mind that it seems like it happens automatically. But with satsang, with being here, what you will find more and more with the letting go or the inquiry is that it is not an automatic process. It happens so fast right now that it seems that it is automatic: ‘A thought came and I picked it up and I was completely identified again’. More and more distance will get created as you go along in satsang. And what seems to be completely automatic and spontaneous right now will seem to become like a choice that you can make: ‘I’m going to believe this thought or not’. It will all slow down. It will all slow down because you will be so much in the present moment that it will not seem to have that automatic feeling.
In this way, it will not last. From my own experience I can tell you that it will not last in this way. It will all slow down a lot. And yet, as day to day activities go on, there could be some things that seem to get picked up; but their effects don’t last more than a few moments. Because when we are more used to our natural state of not picking up, and just Being, then all of this becomes very alien. Just like it seems alien in the beginning to let go of all that is arising, it will start seeming alien to pick up and take all that extra effort to create this personality or identity.
Don’t expect any state to be there; don’t expect any appearance to last. This will soon become very natural for you. Whenever you feel that you are caught up in something, just bring your attention back to the present moment, bring it back here now, forget about all that has happened in the past and start afresh. Don’t believe thoughts like ‘I still haven’t got it’. Don’t believe thoughts about what others are experiencing. Just let go of everything. Start with every moment fresh. The past is not here now, You are here now. Let go of all impressions of the past; even the special impressions that we can seem to hold on to saying ‘Everything else might be unreal but this thought or this concept or this belief must be real’. All of that can be let go of.
Don’t be scared of thoughts, they have no power
What is real does not need to get reinforced by a thought. What is real needs no crutches to stand on; it does not need your belief to exist. All that is false needs your belief to exist but that which is real does not depend on any belief. Find out that which is beyond belief, which is so apparent in the present moment without any effort.
And don’t worry, even if there is a huge tsunami of thoughts, you are always just the witnessing of them. Don’t create an expectation. Yes, it is commonly seen that in satsang thoughts slow down and in your natural state very few thoughts will arise; but don’t have this expectation. Just be free of thoughts. Just don’t give them any belief and they will lose their power. Then it doesn’t matter if there are hundreds of them coming at a rapid speed or there are no thoughts at all, because once they have no power it makes no difference as to what thoughts are coming. Don’t be scared of thoughts, they have no power. You have the power because it is your belief which gives the power to them. Therefore You are the source of power; Consciousness itself.
It is like the king is running scared of his own servants. The mind will become your servant to help you with practical things like scheduling appointments and things like that; but you have
given it so much power, so much emotional and psychological belief, that the servant seems like he has become the king and the king is running scared of what the servant is going to say, and seems to have forgotten that the servant’s power only comes from the king himself.
Reclaim your power now by not giving belief to the thoughts that are arising. Show me a thought which has power without your belief. As the Master says, 99 percent of all thoughts are rubbish and the other 1 percent are also rubbish. Just drop everything right now. Drop the seeker also. Drop all needs, drop the need for freedom, liberation, enlightenment. Just be completely clear right now. Just for a few moments, drop all of this. Don’t give your belief to anything at all. This power is yours.
In the Presence of the Master our true identity is revealed
It can seem to play out that way, that in the Presence of the Master everything seems to quiet down a bit; and it is this that points you to the Presence of the true Master. So it is in the Presence of a true Master that everything seems to quiet down. There is peace of mind. The mind becomes slow. Sometimes initially the mind can be very strong and reactive, but after a while in satsang the mind becomes very slow and there is peace in the Presence of the Master. And this Master’s only function is to point you to the inner Satguru.
When you find the Master inside your own Self then you will see that it is the same Master which was here which is showing up outside. Because on our own we seem to have lost the capability to find this Master inside, so when we are looking for freedom it seems to project in this way; outwardly. The Master is pointing you back home, which is in your own Heart. In your own Presence, the Master is there. That is the Master. If a Master tells you that he is not That, or he is not speaking from that state of Presence, and he is a separate individual who is a Master or a Guru, then you must not trust this kind of Master. The true Master will always point you within your Self. That is where I stay.
But the appearance of a Master, seemingly externally, is very auspicious, because in the Presence of the Master, for the first time, in your first experience: true peace. It is not just an exercise of intellect, not just an exercise of words. It is in the Presence where the peace is felt. And when this peace is felt, then trust and faith develops. And once you have trust in the Master’s words then the journey becomes very, very simple. If you are able to hand over your life to the Master there can be nothing more auspicious than that. Then the struggling stops. And once we stop struggling, then it is clear. Our own true identity is revealed in a very simple way.
But to carry on the struggle and to try and inquire is very, very difficult. To be a person in the rest of our lives, besides the time in satsang, and to try and inquire only during satsang times makes the journey much longer in a sense. But if we can trust the Master and hand everything over to him then everything gets clarified very, very soon. This is the general experience; it doesn’t have to play out in this way. We find the Presence of peace in satsang. Then we find that there is more trust and faith in the Master and we can surrender to the Master, and life becomes very, very simple. Because the Master is Beingness, is Consciousness, is God, is Guru. It is the same thing. The same holy Presence which we have been pointing to, which seems to arise from your own Heart.
Fear of inquiry, of emptiness
For some, the mind will paint a picture that it is like an empty nothing, and it paints a picture of death for you. You know, ‘If you look at this, then you will die’. It scares us by using these tactics. But if you can just trust the Master’s words and just be with this nothingness for a while, you will find that it is a full emptiness. It is a full emptiness where there is no lack, no lack of anything at all; no needs are here, nothing is missing. All arises in service to this. All love, all peace, all joy is here with no need for any of it. There is no need here for anything that is arising. So much beauty, so much joy, so much peace; with no need for any of this.
So, don’t trust the mind’s words. Your true Presence is pure beauty itself. If you believe the words of ‘the deluded one’ then you will get deluded yourself. Believe the one who is free from suffering himself, those words are the most credible. If you believe the words of your mind, or even well-meaning people around us, they give us a lot of advice without being free from suffering themselves. We must not pay attention to this kind of advice. It is okay on practical matters, but on our journey to the end of suffering we must pay attention to the words of the Guru.
Letting go of other’s thoughts also
There are many who are now able to let go of their own thoughts, but they are not able to let go of their partner’s thoughts or their other loved one’s thoughts or their parent’s thoughts, or their children’s thoughts. If we have been able to see the unreality of our own thoughts and we have been able to let go, then why do we pay so much attention to thoughts that are appearing in other, seemingly-other, people around us?
The ego has stopped using this body-mind organism; then it can use another body-mind organism to keep us trapped. As Mooji says ‘It is the same guy’. Watch out for this ‘trickster’. If you stop paying attention to your own thoughts, now you must stop paying attention to the thoughts of other Beings around you also. No opinion matters, whether it is yours or theirs. Then when you hear some words which are coming from the Heart you will recognize the love and joy in them; and those words can be believed. If the words are not accompanied by the Presence of love then all words can be ignored, all these words can be let go of. That is the difference between the words of Spirit or Self or Intuition, and the mind’s words. Ego and love cannot co- exist. Therefore if some words are carrying the Presence of love, only then can they be believed because they are not coming from the ego.
Love and ego cannot co-exist
Remember that ego and love cannot co-exist. If you are feeling the Presence of love right now, it must be from a non-egoic place; and from this non-egoic place some words may arise, and the Presence of love in these words is so apparent. That is why in satsang so many Beings experience this love because it is like these words are dipped in honey; and they are sent to you and then you can taste honey along with the words. Those are the words that have credibility and they can be believed. No matter how ineloquent actually. The Master does not need to be very
educated, does not need to have great eloquence. He just is speaking from his own experience of what is coming up here from the Presence itself; and when you receive these words you will find the Presence in these words. This is the true Prasad [gift]. This is the true prasad of satsang, to experience the Presence itself in just the pure energy of the space, and the words which arise.
We cannot have two teachers at the same time. I’m not talking about two Gurus, I am talking about the teacher which is in our head, and the Guru. We must decide our allegiance to one. And if we decide to let go of this false teacher in our head, then I can tell you that nobody has regretted it. Nobody has come to the point of realizing their true Self and said ‘No I want the person again’. Nobody who is Self-realized comes and says ‘No I want to go back and make something else of my life’. Nobody who has realized the Self has said ‘No I want to go back and focus on my relationship rather than this’. Nobody who has realized the Self has wanted to go back and make a million dollars instead of this. Because in finding your true Self you find an unlimited amount of contentment, an unshakeable contentment. There is no worry about any outcome whatsoever.
Life energies continue naturally
This does not mean that other actions and activities will stop and you will sit like a vegetable in one place. No. When the life energy is present, life energies can continue very naturally with no worry or fear about the outcome; just like a game. You start enjoying the game itself. The game which caused so much suffering becomes a play, just a play. And sometimes you may have to feign anger and irritation and all these things, sometimes just to play the game. But you will find yourself internally unable to hold on to any of these feelings. You cannot hold on to any of these feelings; they will not last. It becomes very difficult to hold on to any of these energies, because they just come and they dissolve so quickly that very soon there is nothing to be found. That is peace, that is joy, that is love. And in this, everything gets dissolved.
There might be some fears of something that has been repressed, and this fear is preventing you from just being here. You can hold my hand and let go of everything. Release all of this. Nothing will happen to you, you have my word on this. Don’t believe this voice of fear which has held you captive for so long. It is not real at all.
Let sexual desires be natural
There is no need to renounce any natural needs of the body. Sexual tension, hunger; all these are natural needs of the body. There is nothing here which says renounce any of this. And don’t create any specialness around these concepts. Like especially in our present culture in the world; either there is a lot of shame around the concept of sex or there is a lot of specialness which has been attached to this. Once we get rid of these concepts around this pure bodily function which is there then it will be very, very natural. Don’t believe any thoughts or any judgments about yourself that arise because of this need for sex. It is very natural. Do not assign any specialness to it or any thoughts of guilt or shame around it; or to presume that this should not happen.
Why is it that we do this with sex? We don’t do this with hunger. We never say that we must never feel hunger if we are spiritual now; that hunger should not arise. Culturally we have made
it into something which is either shameful or very special. You drop all your concepts around this and you will find it plays out very naturally in the way it has to. Don’t believe your mind’s interpretation about sex at all. It is nothing special, it is nothing shameful. It is exactly what it needs to be.
I’m happy that you were able to ask this question, because many Beings have this question and are not able to expose it. There is nothing here which is wary of talking about this subject because there is nothing shameful in this and there is nothing special in this. Whatever needs are arising naturally, let them play out in the way they must and you stay as the Self. And all the unnaturalness around this topic will fade away on its own. You will not overdo it, you will not underplay it. It is like hunger; you will not overeat and you will not starve yourself. A very natural balance and a natural flow will arise on its own if you stop interpreting what’s happening. The sexual tension does not have the ability to pull you back in the mind; it is the interpretation about the tension which you are believing. So drop all interpretation of it. Let it play out the way it is meant to.
Like a small fingernail can prevent us from seeing the sun
When the delusion of the mind starts to fade away and the clarity comes, we suddenly find ‘Oh it was always here. This clarity was always here but I was so focused on the cloud’. This small cloud in the space seems to distract our attention. Like Mooji says ‘A small fingernail can prevent us from seeing the sun’. It doesn’t actually prevent anything. It just seems to, because our attention is going on the nail instead of the sun. Actually the sun is not blocked.
This Awareness is untouched by anything that is arising
Don’t feel that anything must stop. That’s what happens in satsang in the Presence of the Master. Everything seems to slow down, or all seems to stop, and we want this state; we get attached to this state. Even this state, don’t be attached to. Trust that the Guru is doing everything; even this state and even this turmoil is being done by the Consciousness itself which is the Guru. Once we get over the fear of the noise, or of the tsunami, then even the most horrendous things could be happening around us but we are unshaken from the Truth.
That is why I don’t recommend to go living in a cave, because if spirituality just meant (or freedom just meant) that we isolate ourselves and go into a place which is just quiet, no noise or anything, then we are relying on the external environment, the state of the external environment, for our inner state. What I am pointing you towards is this state of pure joy and happiness which can emerge irrespective of what the external state is. The way to get to this state is to lose all fear of any state that might be arising for you.
Even if it is the most noise, you are still only the awareness of this noise. This Awareness is untouched by anything that is arising. It is completely untouched. Initially yes, momentarily you will get identified. It’ll happen. This game will continue for a while.
Like Mooji says ‘It’s like the drop when it falls onto some water. When it falls, it goes in and it feels like it is done, that it is all quite complete. But then some energy makes that drop of water
bounce back’. Isn’t it? If you see some slow-motion photography of this, you will see it bounces back, but it is smaller than what it was before. It is back up in the world, it gets identified; it says ‘I am stuck. I am stuck’. But it is coming back. The Guru is calling it back. It cannot escape now. Your head is in the tiger’s mouth. You cannot escape now. You’re coming back, and when you’re drowning in satsang you say ‘free, free, free, free, free’. Then again, the bounce-back happens, but the drop is smaller. This game goes on and on and on, the drop becomes smaller and smaller and then there is complete, complete union, no separation. And you will find this peace.
Use what is arising as fodder for your own inquiry
Trust that all that is arising is fine. That’s why I like to say that the universe does not make a mistake and it has perfect timing. So if something is arising for you, you use it as fodder for your own inquiry. Use it as fodder for your own inquiry and in this way the world will stop bothering you. If something is making you suffer, then you ask ‘Who is suffering as a result of this?’ or you just let go.
Then all can appear in front of you and nothing will touch you, nothing will hurt you. This freedom means that you can be in the midst of war but you are untouched in your understanding of yourself, and you are in complete equanimity even in a state of war. This power has been given to you. Trust what is happening and don’t worry about these small bouncing up and downs. It will take care of itself.
About the Satguru
When you feel the Presence of the Satguru in satsang, and this Presence gives a lot of peace of mind and quietness, then you will find that this Presence was always here. It arises as Consciousness itself. These words are the words of intuition, and the words which have the Presence of love along with them; like dipped-in-honey they sound. This is the Presence of the Satguru itself. It is the voice of the Intuition itself.
It’s best to experience it and not build a concept around it; and you can tell me what that the Satguru felt like instead of trying to now create a concept around what I said. Drop all that concept around it and let it emerge for you. You just be in satsang. Be with the inquiry and you will find that the Satguru has ever been present for you.
If it is freedom that we truly want and we are tired of playing this game of ‘person-person’ then there is no escape from the Guru. You can run but you cannot hide. Because the Guru knows that the truest desire in your heart is to be free from this. Otherwise you would not appear in the Guru’s Presence at all, or the Guru’s Presence would not appear for you at all. And you can run, you can run for many lifetimes sometimes; but it is over for you. Basically it is over. You must contemplate whether ‘being over’ is a scary thought for you or if it sounds so beautiful. It sounds so beautiful.
Oneness is not a concept
Many people have this idea of oneness where they force this oneness. It becomes just a mental concept that ‘I have heard that we are all one’. When they meet a person they have this ‘I am one, I am one’. It’s a forced oneness. But once you see that all is coming from Consciousness itself, which is arising within me as me, that is true oneness. This is the true understanding of oneness.
You don’t have to force this idea; it’s a more natural way. Don’t try to be one with another person. Once you realize your true nature completely then it will be apparent to you that there is no other; it is only about you. For now, it is good to just inquire into the true nature of others; and then this oneness will be revealed. Don’t force trying to love someone or force trying to be one with someone. You just find out who you are.
A happy dream
Every moment in this world is pointing you back to the Truth of who you are. If it is freedom that you want, then every moment in the world is pointing you back to who you really are. No moment is wasted. Therefore whatever is arising, don’t resist it. There are beautiful, beautiful lessons in every moment for all of us. And when all the lessons are learned, and we have understood our very own true nature, then it is a huge playground full of joy, full of fun. As Jesus says in A Course in Miracles, it becomes a ‘happy dream’.
How Will You Suffer Now?
A Simple Exercise of Watching Thoughts
Let’s do a very simple experiment today.
Before the next thought arises, observe the sense of space.
Before the next thought arises, observe the sense of space which is present here. Don’t make any judgments about it, just watch.
And allow all thoughts to come. Don’t resist any thoughts.
Be with the sense of space which is here.
And as a thought comes, just watch it come and let it go.
Don’t try to produce a thought and don’t try to stop any thoughts, Just be with the space in which thoughts are arising.
After the thought goes, just observe the space in which it came. Just be with that empty space.
And if the next one comes, you can welcome it and let it go.
If there are no thoughts, don’t worry;
If there are lots of thoughts, don’t worry.
Everything is fine.
But before the thought comes, be with the space of no thought. And when a thought comes, just let it go.
And after it is gone, just be with the space of no thoughts.
Welcome all thoughts and emotions.
Even if there is irritation at not understanding this exercise,
Or not being able to do it properly, let this irritation also arise, and let it go.
Don’t visualize anything, just watch.
Just watch what is here right now.
Become aware of the space of no thought, and of thought, and back to no thought. Be completely open to everything that is arising.
There is no right or wrong way of doing this. Just gently follow my instructions.
Become aware of the space which is empty.
What is present in the state between two thoughts?
Don’t resist anything at all. All thoughts are allowed to come and allowed to go.
Even if the same thought is coming again and again, that is also allowed.
See it clearly now that you are not creating your thought; it is arising and fading on its own. Let everything happen on its own.
Who is watching your thoughts? Who is watching your thoughts?
And if an answer comes, that is also a thought.
Ask yourself: Who is watching this thought?
Is the watching affected by the content of the thought?
Wait for the next thought to come;
And after it goes: Is the watching affected by what the thought said?
Are you separate from this watching?
Where are you watching the thoughts from?
Now you are free from the control of this thought.
The watching is completely unaffected by the content of the thought.
You are this Awareness.
With Mooji’s Grace, may all of you be ever-free from these thoughts.
Om shanti shanti shanti.
Moojiji ki Jai. [Namaste]
How will you suffer now?
Thoughts are nothing but energies arising and fading
Today we completely exposed that these thoughts are nothing but energies that are arising, and they are going. And you can allow it to come and you can allow it to go, just like everything else. What comes and goes is not You.
Don’t fight them, don’t resist them, don’t judge them as negative or positive even; just let them come and go. Saying whether a thought is negative or positive is irrelevant, because even to make that conclusion says that there is some interest in them. If it just comes and goes like nothing, then we will not even make a judgment about what it was like. It can just go. If we just let it go, it will not register in our memory. You will not be able to say if this was my thought three thoughts ago, or my last thought even.
Watching is constant
Can you stop watching? Stop watching. Show me how.
We do not lose touch, we only believe the idea that we lost touch. The watching cannot stop. As long as you are here, there must be a watching. And as long as you are here, there must be a Being. Even if attention is going completely into personhood, we do not stop being Awareness. The Awareness is ever present. This ‘I’ that loses touch is not You. There is an ‘I’ which is wanting to keep this as an experience; that one is not You. You are the Awareness itself, which is ever-present here.
You saw this. When a thought was arising you were present, and when a thought was not there you were present, as the Awareness itself. You cannot go no matter what happens; and you do not need to work hard to be in touch with yourself. Because you are your Self.
All thoughts are the same. It is our own belief that gives them power. As long as we don’t give them any meaning, they don’t have any power over us. Hence, once this is seen like we saw today, then you cannot suffer now.
Fear cannot hurt you
There is nobody here who is forcing you to sit still, or do anything at all. We must not make a practice out of this. Just let everything be that is arising, including fear. Don’t resist it. You are infinite space itself. You yourself said ‘Good news! Space opening up is here’. This space is not constrained by any fear, any emotion. All is allowed here; and don’t feel that they should be here or not. It’s okay. Fear is nothing. Just like any other emotion, it is nothing; just like any other thought, it is nothing. To you, it is truly nothing. It cannot hurt you now. It never could, but now you know that it cannot hurt you. This is just a trick of the mind.
When we are saying that we are completely allowing, it means don’t pick up anything at all, don’t even try to be still, don’t try to not try; just don’t do anything at all. Drop all your baggage. If it seems like something is trying to try, just let it be. It cannot last very long without your belief that ‘I must try.’ All trying can only attempt to take you away from here. It can never succeed.
You rest. First you rest, then peace will arise in service to you. Don’t try to rest in anything; you rest. Just let go; and then love, peace, joy, happiness, all these might arise for you on their own. But don’t have an expectation that it should happen. You just rest.
Try it out and then tell me
We have given many, many years to belief in our thoughts. Now give a few days, or a few moments even, to lack of belief in them, disbelief in them. Try it out and then tell me that you did not feel the freedom and you did not find the peace, and you lost the ability to suffer. This power you have now, which is to deprive them of their belief.
As you play with this, as you try it out, you will find that there is so much freedom, so much space here. And you will wonder soon as to how you were listening to your thoughts. You will be amazed at how that ever happened.
There is nobody for which something does not hold true momentarily. Drop this expectation that something which arises should not happen. When it comes up it will go very quickly. You will not suffer as a result of it.
As long as there is a feeling that ‘If I let go of this thought, I will miss out on something’ or ‘I will lose some value or meaning in my life by letting go’ then it has you in its fangs again; the serpent has got you again. Once we’ve caught on to the idea that ‘This has some meaning for me’ or ‘This has some value for me’ or ‘I can gain something from this’ then we are caught again in the belief of personhood. It can come very subtly; it can be very tricky. Let them go.
You are not this ‘person’ at all. You-as-Awareness don’t need to rely on any thoughts. You are always the pure Awareness itself
Sometimes a very strong energy can come. Whatever the body is doing, let that also come and go. Don’t resist anything. Don’t say that something special happened. All of it is okay. Sometimes strong kundalini experiences and all these things can come, but you let go of them. There’s nothing for you in any of those. Let the body do what it wants. You be just the witnessing of all of it.
No need to fight with the mind
Nobody here should get into a fight with their mind. I keep reiterating this, that this is not about getting into a fight with the mind at all. We should not try to stop our thoughts, not try to resist them in any way, or even judge them for being there. All I am saying is: You let them play out in the way they are meant to play out. You just be the witnessing of them. In fact, you cannot be anything else but the witnessing. But just find that You Are simply the witnessing of them. This is not effort actually.
Please take it all. I give it all to you. I can’t do it.
In your giving it, it is taken from you. Just don’t ask for it back. [Laughs] Just leave it with me; completely unconcerned about anything at all. Let it not be a weak surrender. Let it not be a surrender of the variety that ‘I’m surrendering it to you just so that the life of the ‘person’ can now be better’. That is not surrender. If that is all that is there, then that is also fine; but that is not true surrender, and that will also be seen. Be completely, completely unconcerned with what happens in the life of the ‘person’ now. Let it all unfold on its own, trusting that the Presence of the Satguru is taking care of all of it. And this will not fail you. This kind of surrender cannot fail. Let it be an unconditional surrender.
Now that everything is Me, we are truly One. Therefore, I can also say that everything is You. Because now we are truly One; and in this Presence, my head is also forever bowed down.
Find the Buddha Within You
When you are completely clear about your true nature and what is happening here, then this fear will leave you. Therefore, while this body is here, while the vital force is here, use all your energies to explore and find out who you really are. You say you are afraid of dying and leaving your young daughter alone. Consciousness is running your daughter’s life beautifully, you do not need to worry about her. Just remember that your main purpose now is to discover your true nature.
As long as we believe that ‘I am this person’ we will have this fear that this ‘person’ is going to die. As long as personhood is here, there will be this fear of death. But then once you see for yourself, and it is completely confirmed that ‘I have never been this body’ and ‘I have never been the idea I have about myself’ then you will see that you cannot die. What is real cannot die.
Everything points us to freedom
Nothing happens in this world which does not lead to our understanding of our true Self. If that is what we truly want, if freedom is what we truly want, then this freedom is available to us, and everything that happens in our life will point us to this freedom only.
Sometimes life pushes us into the direction of Self-discovery, although it might not have been in our minds at all. But circumstances come in a particular way where we do end up questioning the whole purpose of this existence and who we really are. And this is a very auspicious happening; it’s a very auspicious happening when this question about ‘Who I really am’ arises.
You are now one of the rare ones who are in satsang now. Because you have seen that the world around you can change very fast, and the stability can only come from this understanding. The understanding of your true nature is the only thing which is stable; otherwise all plans, all ideas, everything can fall apart very, very fast. Therefore don’t worry. The biggest blessing for your daughter is going to be your own realization. She will have a blessed life because of your own realization. Let your Presence every moment bless her, and let this Presence bless your own life. ‘May all the Beings in the world forever be at peace’. Give the world this blessing today. The Presence which is here with all of you is powerful enough to give this blessing to the world. And may all those that are open come to the complete understanding of their true Self.
The world of suffering opens even the most closed minds. All Beings will eventually come to this point, of wanting nothing but complete freedom. Nothing else will satisfy them; and that is a huge blessing. To see that ‘All phenomenal things mean nothing to me’ is a huge blessing. Why should we just settle for something that just comes and goes? I will only settle for that which is ever-present. Don’t sell yourself short. And don’t settle for little lollipops along the way. Don’t settle for just spiritual experiences, don’t get attached to just spiritual experiences. Stay with the experiencing, stay with the witnessing of even this. Any experience does not mean anything at all for Awareness. And this is freedom. Freedom means to not be concerned about what experiences are arising. Then nothing phenomenal can touch us.
That is why it is called a realization. It is not called a creation or an invention, it is called a realization, which means that we realize that it has always been this way. All that is required is to see that it has always been this way. Don’t settle for your mind’s answer to any of these questions. Let go of a mental understanding also; don’t try to understand. These words are going exactly where they are meant to go. Don’t make any effort at all, just keep your attention here.
There is no fear of death here, and if it is possible here, it is possible for all Beings. Death will mean nothing for you. Just like in the sleep state; in the deep sleep state there is no sense of Being. Even the ‘I Am’ is not there in the deep sleep state. Just like that, in the death state even the ‘I Am’ will not be there. But what You are, the pure Awareness of it, will continue. Therefore, at least in the waking state, find out who you really are.
Is pain a thought?
There are two ways to look at what a thought is. The first way is to look at thought is as the energy construct which arises in this way which carries a certain message for us. Like an internal object which arises, or an internal energy-construct that arises, and conveys a message in this particular way. Now, the cousins of this energy-construct are the other internal objects like memories, like imagination; these are very closely related. Then there are some other distant cousins which are the feelings like emotions, fear and joy. All of these are energy-constructs but seem to be qualitatively different than thought and other mental creations.
There are mental objects and there are emotional objects, then there seem to be in the physical realm all of these objects which appear. The body is there, the external world is there. All of these are the other objects which appear. Eventually and ultimately all of them are seen to be the same, because it is seen to be a play of this Consciousness-I-am which leads to all of these, or creates all of these. In that way, whatever happens phenomenally can be said to be a thought.
If you look at the entire play of creation to be a creation of Consciousness, and if that is your broad definition of thought, (because ultimately it’s the same force which is creating it), then it can be called a thought. But energetically it does seem to be qualitatively different than thoughts, than emotions, than phenomenal things like the body.
Pain would be more related to these strong emotional things or emotional experiences that can be had. All of them seem to be different at a level of quality, but ultimately they are all a play of Consciousness. At the ultimate level they are all the same, but in the way that they are perceived they are clearly different, isn’t it?
But the way to deal with all of this, with any phenomenon, is just don’t resist, don’t engage; and to let go. Because in the interpretation of the pain usually is where the suffering arises. And I am not saying that if there is pain, don’t take a painkiller. If that is what is naturally unfolding then please go ahead and take the painkiller. But don’t say that my reality is touched by this pain in any way. Therefore, don’t fall into the mental trap about pain, like ‘Why does this happen to me? Why can’t I have a healthy body? I should do something else to keep it fit’. Don’t fall into that trap. Let everything unfold naturally the way it is meant to unfold.
What is Love?
Another misconception I feel to look at today is this misconception about love. Because I still get a lot of correspondence about this particular topic, about love and relationships. Let’s look at love. What is it?
Most of us spend a large part of our lives believing that love comes from the outside. Many of us still might believe that the love actually comes from the other person. This is the belief that we carry, but once we look at it, once we explore this, we see that love, like all other feelings, also emerges from within us. It is actually in service to us. We find that it emerges within us. There will be a point where this feeling of love will become constant for you. It is already constant, but it will be discernable and perceived to be constant for you.
It is the same for all Beings. Yet most Beings end up believing that love comes from another person around us. Let’s look at why that happens. It happens because when there is a feeling of oneness, when the idea of separation goes away even for an instant, it is blessed by the Presence of love. In the play of the leela, when we come across a certain Being where, for a few instants, for a few moments, this idea of separation just goes for a while, and there is a sense of oneness; then this feeling of love arises. That is why it is confused that the Love Itself is coming from the other person. It was only that the idea of separation was dropped for a few moments and this Presence of Love was discerned, but it leads to the confusion and the wrong conclusion that it is coming from the other person.
What we are pointing you to in satsang is to let go of this idea of separation so that this oneness will be completely clear to you, and it will be ever-present. Then this Presence of Love will always be discerned anyway. And then you will see that it was always here and always arising here.
Love is not ‘need’
Because what happens in the confusion, when we believe that it is coming from another person that’s in front of us, is that very quickly this love translates into need. It becomes a desire to be with that person. And the minute this love gets contaminated by this feeling of need or desperation or desire then it loses its pure Presence in some sense, because it is replaced now with fear, fear of losing the loved one. Can we see this? And this is what is called an attachment.
This instantaneous love which was felt gets replaced by the fear of losing the object of our love, and this becomes an attachment. And this becomes a very insane place to live. To live as an attached one is to live with fear, because we are always fearful of losing this attachment that we have. And if it feels threatened in any way, either through that Being itself or any other person, if it feels that there is a threat, then anger comes. Strong anger comes and tries to hold on to this attachment and not lose it. And if anger stays, then that anger gets turned into hate. All this fear, anger, hate; all this comes from this attachment, which initially arose just because of a simple confusion, that the love is coming from outside us, and it is not arising from within us itself. And then it seems to become very, very sticky.
If you can understand that love is not need; and that if there is a presence of need there, that means it has become contaminated and it has become an unhealthy attachment. And why I say unhealthy is because nothing that is phenomenal will stay; everything that has come will go eventually. Even if it stays for the rest of your lifetime, how many years more is that? Fifty years more? And then what?
Love is in service to you
Find out what love really is. Find out this true oneness within your own Self, which this love is in service to. Don’t believe that love is coming from outside you, or you need some external circumstances which will give you this love. And if you have this basic understanding then you cannot suffer in relationships.
Love is in service to you, it is not something that you need to chase. Remember that what is real is always present. If there is a chasing required, it is only illusory. And this does not mean that you have to give up any relationships. All this means is that it can all unfold in the most beautiful way without you having to apply your mind or believe your thoughts, in terms of how to run your relationships. If we are not fearful about losing this feeling of love then we can truly come from our heart in any relationship; because it is a fearless relationship. It is a free relationship. It is not bound by chains. It is not forced. It does not become a prison for anyone.
This simple misunderstanding can create many lifetimes of suffering. Just the simple misunderstanding that love comes from outside me, it comes from another Being to me. And very quickly, even a child can see that this is not true. It is always arising within me. And when we’re completely unconcerned by any feeling that is arising or fading, then all of these beautiful feelings start chasing us, and we don’t have to chase them. Don’t hanker for love from the outside.
Even the Guru’s love, which is the most pure form of love, is arising from the Satguru with You Itself. It is the same One that speaks from here which is loving you from inside. And why I say it is the most pure form of love is because it does not come with any need. It does not come with any expectation. It does not want to own you in any way. It is not a true Guru who deprives you of your own freedom. Only one who is bound can deprive you of your own freedom. Of course, when there is a feeling that you are taking a step which is not in the right direction, and you are deluding yourself, of course it is the Guru’s job to point it out. But even then there is no expectation of the outcome of that.
Feelings of love for the other
[The feeling of love for the other]; it could be because there is a dropping of this separation, there is a dropping of our own ego, that we stop believing our own thoughts for a few moments. In some strong karmic relationships with some Being that we have, that can happen. We may just allow ourselves to be open in that moment; and in that openness, that love seems to be present.
What satsang is pointing you to is to find this openness and this Presence within your own Self, so that love is always present here. And in fact, when you stop needing the love to come from
outside, there is an automatic spreading of the love in your Presence around you. All your actions will come from the Love Itself. It is Love at play.
All your life will become like it is Love at play; and stops being ‘need at play’. Because when we are needy, we are the most repulsive actually. We are the most repulsive when we come from the place of need. But when we are coming from this place of pure love like this, when we are without any need whatsoever, then our entire life becomes a play of love. Then we are not just giving love, but love is just flowing so automatically.
Awareness sees ‘I Am’
Most traditions actually in the world are content with pointing us to the Beingness alone. For most spiritual traditions, to point us to this understanding that ‘I Am Consciousness’ is enough. That’s why Self-realization in most traditions is just realizing this Beingness itself as Me. It is the rare spiritual lineage in which even this Consciousness, we say ultimately, is not You: it is the Awareness of this which is ultimately You.
There was an awareness that, in the beginning, there was only this Presence. Who was aware of this? That Awareness must have been prior to all of this happening, isn’t it? So, in that way, it is very simple to understand that to report that ‘This is what happened’ means there must have been an Awareness prior to it. And if Awareness is prior to it, are you the one who is prior, or are you the actual content of the experience, no matter how subtle or sublime it is? Just the fact that the scripture was able to report that ‘In the beginning, there was only ‘I Am’. This means that there is something that is aware that in the beginning there was only ‘I Am’.
Every moment in satsang is just this pointing to find the Buddha within you.
I Have Come to Take You Home
Everything is being done by Consciousness itself. That is the one doer. There is no other doer anyway. Just remember that it is only You-as-Consciousness who are the doer. Because ‘you-as- a-person’ do not exist at all. An idea cannot do anything, and ‘I-am-a-person’ is only an idea. It has no reality whatsoever.
We cannot even point out this ‘person’ from a phenomenal perspective, isn’t it? The body we can point out, the objects we can point out, the whole universe we can point out. The phenomenal universe we can point out from a phenomenal perspective, and then we can agree to call it either illusion or real, that’s fine. But this ‘person’ does not even have a phenomenal existence. That’s why I joke and say that it is a ‘second level’ illusion. It’s not even a ‘first level’ illusion, it is a ‘second level’ illusion. Just an idea; not even a phenomenal existence anywhere. Therefore, it is all being done by Consciousness itself.
Don’t feel that if there is some suffering arising, then you will know that Consciousness itself seems to be playing this game of being deluded by the idea of being a ‘person’ and creates these scenarios of suffering. Even that is being done by Consciousness alone.
This, in satsang, is Consciousness speaking to Consciousness, and reminding Consciousness that it could never have been a ‘person’. It could never have been a ‘person’ at all. What to do? It likes to play the game in this way. I do not believe ultimately that it can get deluded even. Maybe it was just too bored, and it wants to play like this. That is why it brings itself to satsang, and in satsang it is reminding itself that it was never this person. There must be some joy in this for Consciousness itself. It is only Consciousness that is doing everything. And even now the talking and listening is happening through Consciousness and with Consciousness; made up of Consciousness alone.
This body is only an instrument
This body has been called the ‘food body’. Why it is called ‘food body’ is that it is clear when we call it the ‘food body’ that I cannot be made up of food. I cannot be made up of the food that I’ve eaten. Therefore, when we realize that the body is just made up of the food that we’ve eaten, something intuitively realizes that I cannot be this body. It is only an instrument which is here, all part of Consciousness alone.
What is the use of the material body in our life? First, if we are completely clear that ‘I am the Awareness within which all of this is arising’ then we will know that this body is only an instrument which is used in the leela of experiencing as a person. We’re always the Awareness alone. This body is here just as a tool to enable this personal experiencing in some way. Just because we wear a virtual reality helmet, a virtual reality headset, does not mean that we become the virtual reality headset.
Someone had posted that ‘Looking for the true Being inside the body is like looking for the announcer inside a radio’. Just because it is an instrument of experiencing, we cannot confuse it to be what I am. We have experienced many different instruments in our dream states; we have
lived many different lifetimes in our dream state. In all of those, we have as real feelings, or as real experiencing, as we seem to have here. All of this is just a projection of Consciousness itself.
We do not want to make use of anything at all. Consciousness is playing this game exactly like it wants to, so all we can do is let it unfold in its own beauty, the way it wants to, without pretending to be the doer of anything at all. The ‘person’ is not real, and hence cannot do anything at all. The ‘person’ cannot even make use of this knowledge that ‘I am not the person’. The ‘person’ cannot do anything at all. If you’re still looking from the personal perspective, this knowledge will not be useful to us. This knowledge is meant to bypass the ‘person’ and speak with Consciousness itself; and Consciousness will recognize that ‘I have never been this person’.
Will you tell about the Heart?
This is a very good question. Many people have this question of ‘What is this Heart which is referred to?’ When I’m referring to the Heart, I’m referring to the seat of Consciousness itself. In fact, I am referring to the Consciousness itself, within which the sense ‘I Am’ or the Beingness seems to arise from this area of the Heart. We’re not in any way referring to the physical heart at all. We’re referring to this sense of Beingness or ‘I Am-ness’ which is ever-present here. This is the Heart that we are referring to.
Without this ‘I Am-ness’ even the blue light in the third eye which you spoke of cannot be experienced. Can you say that ‘I was not, and only this blue light was’? No. There was you, and you experienced this blue light. For this world of duality, for this world of experiencing, first there must be a ‘you’ to exist, and then everything else can exist. This You, this birth of the ‘I Am’ itself, is what we’re referring to as the Heart.
To experience this, we don’t need to do anything at all. You will find that when you let go of everything, you are still here. Can you not be here? Can you not be here now? You know that you are still here. This Presence of me, this Presence of ‘I Am-ness’ is the Heart that we are referring to. ‘I Am’ is always present.
This will become apparent to you by being in satsang. And I completely understand where you are coming from, because after I read ‘I Am That’ for the first time, there was also a lot of confusion here about this sense ‘I Am’ and why I am not being able to experience this ‘I Am’. And one day, when the earnestness was there, it just made itself apparent to me that I couldn’t see it, because it is always present. We tend to miss something which is always there. Can you stop being now? You cannot stop being now. This Being which you cannot stop is the sense ‘I Am’ or the Heart that I am referring to.
Is Consciousness and Awareness the same?
Let me put it this way; let me put it to you in a very simplistic way: Awareness is the seeing- ness, the seeing which is always present. And Consciousness is the Being which is always present.
Can you stop Being, or seeing, or being aware? You cannot, so it’s always present. And you cannot stop being. You cannot stop Being, which is ever-present. That is the difference between Awareness, which is the seeing; and Consciousness, which is the Being. With that simple definition, it should be pretty clear.
Awareness is all there is. Therefore, even this Presence of ‘I Am-ness’ or Beingness has to be made up of Awareness itself. What else is there? Nothing. It must be made up of Awareness itself. This Being is a modulated form of this Awareness itself. Awareness means what? That there is a Presence of Awareness here. There is seeing here, which means Awareness; and once this gets modulated into ‘There’s a Being here’ this means the Presence or Consciousness. This ‘I Am-ness’ is what I’m referring to as Consciousness; and Consciousness and Awareness are ultimately the same. It’s just the way in which they play out. The Awareness is the pure perceiving-ness itself, and Consciousness is the pure Beingness itself. But ultimately they are the same.
Awareness of Presence is here
Just to use language now, but don’t let it confuse you; we are aware that there is an awareness of a Presence here, isn’t it? Just to simply say that ‘I am aware that I am seeing’ means there is awareness of Awareness itself. There are states in which this ‘I Am-ness’ or this Beingness is not there. Like the deep sleep state, even this ‘I Am-ness’ is not there, but there’s a Presence of Awareness. I am referring right now to the Presence of Beingness itself, (Atma or whatever you might want to call it), which is usually referred to as the Presence. From the pure seeing-ness, there arises this Presence of Beingness or ‘I Am-ness’. But ultimately, both are the same because Awareness is all there is.
In the waking state, both are ever-present. And in the dream state, both are ever-present. In any state where we can report from, both are ever-present, right? Now, in deep sleep, or deeply meditative states, then this Presence of ‘‘I Am’ itself seems to not be there; but there’s a knowing that there is not even this ‘I Am-ness’. This knowing that ‘There is Awareness but not a
Beingness’ is being aware of Awareness itself.
The personhood itself is arrogance
Once you have seen (and exposed these tendencies), then they cannot dominate anymore. It is very beautiful that you’ve come to this seeing of arrogance, because arrogance is at the root of the ego. Everything that is done from this point of personhood is arrogance, because in that, we feel that the person is required to help God run this world, or to help God to run my life. That’s such an arrogant belief, which most of humans are carrying. Once we get exposed to this, or once we start to see this, then it cannot stay for long. It’s very auspicious that you’ve started seeing it now, that there is a sense of superiority or arrogance. And in your seeing of it, it will start to dissolve now. Don’t try to force it out; don’t try to make any special efforts to do anything at all. You just be the Self, be the seeing of all of this, and it will not last.
The mind feels like a child who has disappointed her parents
The mind is something which can only be let go of. You will not be able to reform this ‘child’. You will not be able to make it into something which is a ‘good child’. The quality of your thoughts will not change from attack and defense to something else now. It will only try to trick you in this way. Have no expectations from this ‘child’ which is our mind itself, or our thoughts itself. Have no expectations from this ‘child’. You just let it go. Once you let it go, and you’re free from the dominance of this tantrum-throwing child, you will find that you can use this mind as an obedient pet. To use it as an obedient pet is a better analogy than to look at it as a child.
The mind using illness as a defense against truth
The mind is a trickster, isn’t it? The minute we get close to understanding, it will give us a lot of attack thoughts, it will give us a lot of other kind of thoughts, to pull us back in. Now, one of the trump cards it has is that it will play with this body and create these ideas of sickness or it will create these ideas of suffering. And once we buy into the idea that ‘I am suffering’ then it becomes a successful ego defense against the truth. Because the idea ‘I am suffering’ or ‘I am sick’ refers to ‘I-as-a-person’. That means the ego has become dominant again.
It plays all of these tricks. It becomes a defense against the truth in this way. But if you keep with the inquiry or you keep with the surrendering, then this will also be let go of. You will be completely unconcerned. The body will fall sick, then going to a doctor, the taking of the medicine, the healing of the body, or the not-healing of the body; all of that you will be completely unconcerned with. You will not decide to ignore the sickness, or to pay too much attention to it. All will unfold on its own.
Don’t let your mind enter into any of these windows. For sickness, it is very easy for the mind to enter any of these windows. First, we try to block it with our knowledge, that ‘I cannot be sick now; I’m spiritual’. Don’t believe all this nonsense. Sickness can still arise in the body, Consciousness can still play in this way. Then it can say ‘I am going to heal myself using my knowledge’. All of these are still very egoistic ways of using this knowledge.
You say that ‘I am the pure watching of this’. Let everything play out in the way it is meant to. Be completely neutral about all of this. And what is meant to happen will happen. If going to a doctor happens, then going to a doctor will happen. If going to a doctor doesn’t happen, then going to a doctor doesn’t happen. But in the knowing of your true nature, you will not be concerned.
I sometimes tell people that it is like a nice car that you have; this body is like a nice car that you have. If you feel that it has broken down, there is no harm taking it to a mechanic. But don’t believe that You have broken down. When the car breaks down, don’t expect spirituality to make the car work. Because that is again coming from the ego place. And yes, if some prayer happens, if some deep inquiry happens as a result of the sickness, it is fine. Just don’t say that it is ‘me’ that is sick; just don’t identify that you are the body that is sick. Because in that way it becomes a defense against the truth; because you have never been the body.
Flare-ups of ego from time to time
Yes, and momentarily, if that happens, that is absolutely fine. This Awareness will wipe out everything now that you’ve come to this truer understanding of your true nature. All will get wiped out. But drop this expectation that nothing should flare up even momentarily. These flare- ups will continue to happen, but you will find that you’re not able to hold onto any of the anger, you’re not able to hold onto any of the irritation, you’re not able to hold onto resentment. All of this will just come and go. And in that way, we free ourselves from this suffering.
Perception of the senses
There’s a feeling that when the senses are open, there’s just a perceiving of all of this; and I am not separate from this seeing or this perceiving. Therefore, I’m this Awareness itself. But it is not just the senses. Our internal objects, like thoughts, memories, imaginations; these are perceived without the use of our senses also; without the use of our outer senses. There’s a perceiving even of these internal objects which come and go. This perceiving does not need to rely on the senses to perceive. It is independent of even the bodily senses. As an instrument, it does capture some frequencies which is okay. But perceiving is not dependent on the bodily senses.
An intellectual, imaginary version of Beingness
When we hear about this, then the mind immediately comes up and creates a visual out of this, or an intellectual concept out of this. And many Beings get stuck with this visual of who we are. It is very common that this happens.
Many Beings imagine this vast, black space as Awareness, and we start to believe that this vast, black space is what I am. It is not. There is a perceiving even of this visual. This perceiving or this Awareness is what we are. Similarly, it will create strong concepts that ‘I am awareness alone’ and all of this.
Once you have seen this, this will now dissolve. Now that you’ve exposed it in satsang you will find that this will start to fade away for you. Know that anything that can be perceived cannot be You, no matter how beautiful the imagery, no matter how convincing the statement. Once they are perceived, it cannot be You.
It is like a spiritual practice. It has no permanent solution for you, but it gives you temporary relief. But ultimately it is like having a pain killer without diagnosing what the real disease is. We feel, imagine, a beautiful heaven. ‘I’m in beautiful heaven, surrounded by angels’. It will feel good for a while, but it will not last. Because nothing that is seen, nothing that is imagined in this way will give us a permanent peace and joy, which will come from the true understanding of who we are.
It is very simple: Look and see who is the seer of even this beautiful imagery.
Then we don’t need to pay attention to any imagination, because we’re completely content with who we are.
It is a seeing-space
It is very beautiful. This space is not a visual. It can be expressed as the mind in a visual terminology, but it is not a visual space. It is the sense of Awareness which expresses itself as pure spaciousness. In that sense it is a knowing space, in that sense it is a seeing space, within which even God takes birth. Even Consciousness takes birth within You. Therefore no words are enough to sing your praises now. They can be words which praise your attributes. We can praise you as Rama the creator, Vishnu the preserver and Shiva the destroyer; but no word can capture who You really are; only some aspect of what emerges from within you can be praised. To refer to you as God himself is not enough actually. Who can take these words? Just, even to call you God is not enough description for what You are.
No words that the world can use now can accurately describe You. None of that which is being said is You. You are the great indescribable One. And these are not just fancy words; this is not an egoistic speaking which is happening here. It is pointing you to what You Truly Are. And pointing you to letting go of all the nonsense which arises in our mind, which deludes you and confuses you about what Your true nature is.
God has come to rehab to remember he is God
It’s almost like God has come to this rehab to remember that he was God. This rehab of satsang is for God himself. You are the Supreme One. You are not a beggar chasing love, chasing peace, chasing joy. All of these come from within You Itself. This is your true position, and you need to go nowhere to find this; right here you can see this. Just let go of the mind, and this is here for you to see that this is completely true.
If it’s too much for you to know that God gives birth inside You, just remember that at the very least, You are God. At the very least, You are God. This is the true position. This is reality.
How long will you play this game?
How long will you play this game of person-person? Are you not tired of it already? What more do you need to know, and what more do you need to learn? What more do you need to get? Where do you want to go? What are you chasing now? Drop all of it right now. Be with me completely as one, and together we will see that this is the truth.
How long do you want to struggle like this? How long will you wait for some pittance of some love, some happiness, some joy? It is available in unlimited amounts from here. You stay with me. Stay with me, and then tell us whether this is true or not. Don’t believe your mind’s testimony about anything at all. Just let go. I have made it very simple for you, just let go. Nothing else needs to be done. In fact, let the ‘letting go’ happen on its own. Even that is not a doing. The mind will not understand this. Let it go. Don’t convince your mind about anything at all. That is just a trick. You let it go, and together we see this: here, right now. Even if it is your first satsang, you can see this. Don’t believe your mind’s voice. Eternal freedom is here. I have come to take you home. Come home with me now. You are free forever and ever.
You Can’t Step Out of Awareness
The content of your perception can be connection or disconnection, but the perceiving, the awareness, is always the same, isn’t it? You must find out how this content touches you. How does it affect the Awareness that You are? And this is a beautiful opportunity. When these uncomfortable feelings arise, they are beautiful opportunities. There is an awareness of the sense of disconnection; there’s an awareness of even this uncomfortable feeling. This Awareness, is that feeling disconnected?
If it was only the chocolate-flavored moments, then we would never inquire, and we would never surrender. It is only when we run out of moves that the surrendering can happen.
Whatever could be hiding or appearing or disappearing, You are completely untouched by this. In fact, that is the message of the Avadhuta Gita, is that You are always the Awareness of whatever might appear or disappear. You cannot step out of your Awareness even for a moment and become something else. You will never be that which is hiding; and you will never be that which shows up and then goes away. It is very simple actually. Without believing in our thoughts, all these thoughts can go. Then what can trouble us?
Feelings of Unworthiness; You stay untouched
You say there’s a feeling of unworthiness, and you are seeing it. The seeing is completely untouched by the feeling. The feeling can dance around all it wants, it can create a tsunami of these feelings, it can call all its brothers and cousins and try to create as much havoc as possible, but the seeing is always the same; steady, unchanging, untouched by any of this. As long as you identify that ‘This is my feeling of unworthiness’ or ‘This is happening to me’ then it will bother you. Once you see that you are the seeing itself, the Awareness itself, then none of this dance can bother you; and all feelings are allowed to come, and they are completely allowed to go. They will not last.
You be steady. Don’t sway with your feelings. Feelings are nothing for you now, they are just like another appearance. All these appearances are allowed to come and go. You are the unshaken one. Like you said, there is a seeing of this. This feeling was there, unworthiness. It could have been another feeling, ecstasy. But yet the seeing has always been the same, untouched by the content of the feeling. When we get attached to the content of something, that is when the trouble starts. When we are just the witnessing, then nothing can shake us.
Unworthiness as an attribute cannot be applied to you at all. It is only another thought you have about yourself. No thoughts you have about yourself are true. Thought cannot describe You. And why must we believe the mind’s conclusion about anything at all?
None of you are puppets of your feelings. You are not puppets of your thoughts. Don’t clamor for a certain type of feeling or any type of thoughts. Let everything come and go. You stay as the Self only. Even if initially it seems like it is a little bit of effort to let go, you will realize that this is actually your natural state. The tiring state is the state in which we are dancing to the tune of
all these feelings and thoughts. Let them dance for You; you don’t dance for them. This entire creation is a dance which appears for you. You don’t dance for it. You are the steady one.
All this play of Consciousness can continue. You stay untouched. All the reactions of your body, all the words of your mouth; all those also can continue. Don’t resist anything that is coming at all. They are also part of the same play. But the witnessing of all of this is completely untouched.
Be Completely Empty of This World
What’s coming up today is to speak a little bit about emptiness. All of us have heard this term before but for some of us it is a little bit confusing, isn’t it? Emptiness. Let’s see if today we can explore this experientially and find out what it means to be completely empty. In the world it seems like there is so much that can grab our attention. For a few minutes can we be empty of everything that exists in the world? Forget about all of it. It does not exist. Be completely empty of the world. Be empty of the world.
Then inside us also there seems to be so much that can go on. There can be thoughts, there can be feelings, there can be emotions, there can be memories; there can be so much going on. Let go of all of that as well. Be completely empty. Hold no ideas about yourself also. Even the most beautiful concepts, be completely empty of them. All our beliefs about right and wrong, good and bad, all the ‘shoulds’ and ‘coulds’. Be completely empty of everything, both outside and inside. If you let it go, it cannot stay. Be completely open for everything to go. The special concept that you are still holding on to, the concept that something should happen now; all expectations can be let go of.
When we are empty of all of this, only God remains, only the Presence remains. And this we cannot lose. In our emptiness we discover this fullness. This fullness which is without any need. This is freedom. This is liberation. Om shanti, shanti, shanti. Can it be any simpler than this?
Is this emptiness clear now? This is what satsang is about. To find yourself is the simplest thing, it is the simplest thing. That is why to the mind it seems like it is most difficult, because there are no steps, there is nowhere to get to. You are always here, and You Are what you are looking for. You have always been that.
Freedom is just this. Don’t go with your mind’s version of freedom. Your mind’s version of freedom is just another experience. Freedom is not another state or another experience. It is Your own true nature. For our entire life, we have been trying to fulfill our mind’s version of what this life should be. Now do not try to fulfill the mind’s version of what freedom is. In the right here and now, there is freedom. What can bother you now? The juiciness, the stickiness of the mind is leaving you, but it will make its last ditch attempts to stay. Do not be its ally in its last ditch attempts. Let it say whatever it wants, you stay with me. Do not let the mind’s voice dominate the voice in satsang. Everything is already done for You. Do not hand over the power back to the mind now. Be completely empty of all things. Let everything appear and disappear; you do not cling to anything at all. Stop chasing the world, the world can chase you if it likes. Stop chasing freedom, stop chasing love, stop chasing peace, stop chasing joy, because all of them are here right now. In your chasing of them, you miss them. Therefore right now, just stop.
Jokingly my Master says ‘You have fired this mind now, but it keeps reporting back for work’. Do not let him in now. Disregard all its offers. It is offering to work for free, it is offering to work as your servant, it is offering all kinds of deals. Just disregard all of them and you be completely free from this infection. He also says ‘Do not have an affection for the infection’. Do not have affection for the ego. Do not have an affection for the voice that convinces you that you are separate, that you are an individual entity.
The ego is the ultimate drama queen
It can be very loud. Let it be as loud as it likes, but you stay with me now, you hold my hand. Let the mind do whatever drama it wants. The ego is the ultimate drama queen. If you go with this drama queen, your life will become a soap opera. [Laughs] Do not perpetuate this soap opera. You let go of the drama queen in your head. Everything can be let go of. There is nothing that can cling to you without your permission. It can try over and over again, but unless you give it permission, it cannot cling to you. You give it permission by your own belief. Withdraw your belief, and then you will be able to withdraw your attention as well.
How do I manage my teenage boy?
Yes, I have a 12-year-old who is turning 13 in a couple of months as well, so I can relate to this very well. What I found is the best thing they need is for us to be completely free first. Then there is a lot of credibility of the advice that we give them. At this age, when we tell them don’t do this and don’t do that, and they find that we are not able to control our own temptations or that we are given to the ways of this world, then what we say will not have a lot of credibility with them. Therefore the best thing we can do for our children is to become completely free ourselves first. And from this state of freedom what will appear will be most beautiful; even the advice that will appear will be the most beautiful. Find our own freedom first.
Parents desire to shield their children from suffering
Second, remember that life is pointing them towards this freedom in every moment as well. Whatever they have to go through, they will go through it; and it is ultimately all grace and it will point them towards their own freedom. If we find that there is not a lot of openness then it is better to not force too many words down their throats. Just be the change that you want to see in them. And when they find that the ways of the world do not work and only lead to suffering, they know whom to come to for advice.
As parents we would like to shield them from any suffering, from all suffering. Nobody likes their child to suffer, but remember even their suffering will point them to the Truth. But if we are free then we are the pure Presence in their lives which automatically blesses them, even without the need for words. The mother identity and the father identity are very, very primal identities. Even in the animal kingdom these identities are very, very strong. So am not going to say something like ‘Just drop this identity right now and treat every child like your child’. That is something which can come on its own if it does, but am not saying you need to get rid of anything. Just let go of your thoughts in the present moment, and let grace flow through you in your interactions. The Self knows very well how to deal with all situations and all relationships. So just lose the personal doer-ship and let God do his work.
Thoughts seem automatic, out of my control.
Yes, it seems automatic and out of our control. But it comes from our identity as a person. First, there must be a belief in our self as a person, and then there can be a belief in a thought about
that person. Now that we have inquired and seen that the person is not to be found. We have looked and seen that ‘I cannot find the existence of this person. This body is just a bundle of flesh and blood, made up of the food that I have eaten, but this person I just cannot find even in the worldly realm or the phenomenal realm. I cannot find this person. If I cannot find it, then I must not believe that I can be something that I cannot find’.
Even when we are in the state of ‘I don’t know who I am’ it is very difficult to believe our thoughts. Even the ‘I don’t know’ stage is the most auspicious. And if we can see this, that ‘I don’t know who I am’ then any thought that is appearing, any emotion that is appearing, we can simply ask ‘Who is this for? Who are you speaking to?’ With a little bit of this inquiry, you will find that all the juice in these strong thoughts is taken away.
But yes, it does seem sometimes that it is automatic, especially for the deeply conditioned beliefs that we have nurtured over many years. Then it takes a while for them to completely die because they have been strongly nourished. Now we have withdrawn the supply of nourishment of belief to them and they will not last. Somewhere there is fear of being empty, of this emptiness. It seems like it is a little uncomfortable. That is why it seems like we want to hang on to even these thoughts which could be dark in nature or negative in nature; even that seems more stable than to let go of everything at all. That is why initially we will cling to even these, because we are feeling this sense of unsteadiness. This voice that we have relied on for so many years, we have stopped trusting that now.
Sometimes there can be a weakness to hang on to something. We feel ‘Something is better than nothing, so can I at least hang on to this?’ But now we can let go of even this. Everything can be let go of. Everything. It is not you. It is seen, therefore, that You are the seeing of it and not the content of it. It is seen. It is an object. It is an appearance. It is always in front of You, it is not you. This magnetism will be reduced more and more and more, and soon you will laugh at these things, and laugh at how you were attracted to them at one point.
The way forward is to keep looking at ‘Who it is that is believing?’ rather than to stop believing. If we were to get rid of the way, if there was no way forward, no way back, all there was was here now, then what remains? Nothing to do at all. Nowhere to go, nothing to find, no self- realization, no freedom, no liberation, nothing. If all of these were seen as mere concepts and were dropped, then what remains now? [Laughs]
All of us can know this. Suppose I were to say that freedom was just a concept, liberation was just a concept, realization was just another concept, there is nowhere to go, nothing to do at all, everything has been taken care of itself, then what remains? Let everything run on its own, then what do we need to do? The one that is running this world does not need our intervention in anything. He is running this body, he is running these words, he is running the entire universe. The person’s intervention is just not required in anything at all. No doing, no ‘not-doing’. Nothing at all. Just this beautiful neutrality of nothing at all.
Complete, not half, surrender
This is what is meant by letting go: ‘It is not my business anymore’. Anything the mind is trying to tell you, just say ‘It is my Guru’s problem now. It is not my business anymore’.
That is what is meant by surrender to the Guru. It is not surrender to the Guru to just say the words ‘I surrender’ and then continue to want to run your life. That is a momentary surrender. True surrender means ‘I surrender to you, the Satguru, and my life is your problem now, run it the way you want. All experiences are yours, all doing is yours’.
It is said in our scriptures that ‘tvam karta, tvam bhogta’ that means ‘You are the doer and You are the experiencer’. Not half-half, not a variation of this. Complete surrender. ‘You are the doer and You are the experiencer’. Then we cannot question that ‘Why is this happening to me? I surrender to you, but please tell me why this is happening to me?’ Then that is not surrender. Even the experiencer must be surrendered. Even the concept that there is a ‘me’ that is experiencing my life must be surrendered, because now if I am the doer, then I am the experiencer also.
The words spoken in satsang
We will always find in satsang some things will always come up that seem to bother us. And that is a great satsang, that is a powerful satsang, because the job of satsang is to expose all of this which comes up. Even to look at something like this is very beautiful because if we are completely convinced that ‘something is nothing’ then no matter what words are used to describe this ‘nothing’ it will have no effect. But if there is still something which believes that there is something in this, that ‘It is forcing me to look at something’ then we can see that there is a mental holding on to the concept of nothing. When you realize completely that it is nothing, then these words will not have any juice to them. But here, take the opportunity to see that no mental concept of ‘nothing’ has to be held on to. Let go of even this last concept, that ‘it is nothing’. Then what remains will be the true nothingness. The true emptiness will remain.
Freedom does not need any idea or concept to reinforce itself. All that is happening in satsang; the conditioning that was there is being de-conditioned. Just like thorns, like Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said ‘We use thorns to get rid of thorns, and then throw away these thorns as well’. Not even the words of satsang are required to be kept now. That is true emptiness.
There are some words even in satsang which you will just let go of. Eventually all that remains is the Presence itself. No words are the Truth. In no words is the Truth to be found. Like Nisargadatta Maharaj used to say ‘The only Truth that you can speak is that ‘I Am’ and ultimately even these words will be seen to be false’. All words, at best, are just pointing; just pointing to your own Self. You don’t have to make tattoos of any words that I say. It is pointing you to the Truth; it is not the Truth itself.
That is why there is complete freedom here to use whatever words appear. Because all they are, are mere thorns to remove other thorns. They are like small sticks of dynamite that we are using to explode the ego, small bombs that we are using to explode the ego, but we need not get
attached to any sticks of dynamite. Don’t be worried about the words which appear. It is where they are coming from which is important.
A Blessing
Thank you so much everyone. May you always be in this freedom. May you always find that there is complete space in you for everything to appear and disappear without your own engagement or involvement in it. May you be completely free from all resistance.
So much love for all of you. We are one heart, one voice and one Being, that is why this is the Sangha of Being. There are no teachers or followers here. The voice of the Satguru can speak through all of us, and my head is forever bowed to that voice, that Satguru which speaks through all of you now. There is no separation, we are all One. And yet there is complete freedom to use whatever words appear, so when I say ‘I love you’ it does not mean that there is a separation. It is just a beautiful expression which arises.
Chapter 3
Awareness Witnessing
There is Nothing to Fix
Today we can look at the impulse to sort out an issue, or sort out something that is bothering us ‘internally’ by sorting out something externally in the world. Because now that we have seen that we are not the doer, doership comes back in these sort of ways; where something seems to be bothering the identity, and we buy into that premise that by doing something externally in the world we will be able to sort this internal problem.
This leads to a lot of reactive-ness. We’re not really operating from Self when trying to figure out something. The most extreme example of this is when we talk about wanting to renounce something. That’s why I say that nothing needs to be renounced. If we need to renounce something, it must be that we need to renounce our own mind. But we do not need to renounce our home, our family, our work; nothing needs to be renounced. What needs to be renounced is always only in our own mind.
As Byron Katie says sometimes, we end up having arguments with the world; and when we argue with what appears in the world, there is only one winner always. Don’t get into a war with the content of what is appearing. You figure out what is the identification here which is getting some juice out of this particular problem that you’re dealing with. And once that identification is let go of, then it is seen that the external circumstances really do not matter.
It is really practical, what we are talking about. Don’t let your mind create this distinction that ‘This is not practical’ or ‘This is only for satsang, and when I come back into the world, then I must put on the personal persona again, and operate from there’. It is not required. All that is needed to be said will be said very naturally. You don’t need to pretend to be a person to continue your relationships in the world. Let all actions unfold naturally in their own natural way. You stay as the witnessing itself.
And if it is not clear still, we must ask ourselves: ‘Who is the doer? Who is doing all of this?’
Many of us now have intellectually understood that there is no individual doer here at all. But when we are in our day-to-day lives then this just remains an intellectual concept; and very quickly we pick up this sense of doership in our actions. It is just a lie. It cannot be the truth. There is no individual doer of any actions. If there is, then it must be identifiable. Where does this doer live? What does it look like? How does it take the actions which it is supposed to have taken?
There is only one doer, and that is Consciousness itself. For there to be a separate doer, then there must be separation here. Then we cannot say that God is everywhere, we cannot say that God is everything. For there to be an individual doer, there must be a separate entity called ‘you’ who is separate from God, who has its own volition and can act on its own accord. Even if this
belief is there, can you introduce this separate entity to me? What does it look like? Where does it stay?
If something is showing up in the world and it is bothering us, then we must look at what it is pointing us to. What is the identification here? What is the lie that we are believing that is making us suffer? The truth cannot make you suffer, only the lies make us suffer. Our belief in lies make us suffer. Our understanding of what is true is freedom itself. If we are suffering, we must be believing some lie. And the root of all lies is that ‘I am a separate individual. I am the ego’. The belief in this concept that ‘I am separate’ is the root of all of this: lies. Don’t leave this lie unquestioned today. That is the point of the whole inquiry. When Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said ‘Who am I? Find out who you are’ he was pointing us to look at this primitive lie that we have been convincing ourselves about for many, many lifetimes. Where is this separate ‘I’? Can you show me where ‘you’ are?
Your real position
Today there is a strong calling here to pull you away from even the play of strong spiritual concepts; to go deeply into the understanding of who you really are. Because for most of you now, who have been in a few satsangs, the amount of suffering that you are experiencing is reduced a lot. You cannot suffer so much now because you have let go of most of your thoughts. Today, you must let me pull you into your real position; that position which you have never left.
Stop imagining yourself to be anything at all, for just a few minutes, and be here with me in satsang today. Drop all concepts about yourself. No belief can stay. Without the crutch of any concept, who are you now? Without the crutch of any concept, who are you now?
Don’t buy any story from the mind. Don’t believe anything that it is saying, no matter how tempting it might sound: let it go. You-as-Consciousness have the full capability to let it go.
Stop referring to yourself as the ‘person’. You are the Supreme Lord. You are that which needs no proclamations. No mere concept can define You.
Nothing that you can say can convince me that You are a ‘person’. But what you can say can show me that there is still some belief in personhood.
You can let go of the thoughts. We can discuss who let them go later. Don’t let your mind convince you that you cannot let go. This is not a question of intellectual debate anymore.
What I’m referring to as Consciousness itself has the complete power to let go of these thoughts which are appearing. Because ultimately it is Consciousness itself which is coming to satsang and saying that ‘I am suffering from this idea of being a person’. There is nobody else here but Consciousness. Even forget about the intent of Consciousness playing this game for a few moments. Just find your power to let go.
There never was a ‘person’ here. The one that the mind is speaking to never existed. The mind is trying to speak to a non-entity. Don’t conjure up a ‘person’ just because there is a voice speaking
to ‘the person’. The ‘person’ can do nothing at all. How does something that doesn’t exist do anything? Therefore waste no time in trying to become a better person. Instead right now find out who you really are.
When I’m saying you must let the ‘person’ go, there is actually nothing that we are letting go of; because the ‘person’ was never anything at all. Don’t let the mind convince you that it is some sort of a sacrifice. Don’t make something out of nothing. The mind will try to convince you that the ‘person’ is like some beloved one that is very close to you: it is not. It was just an idea, and this idea has only brought suffering to you. It has given you no other gifts.
Let go of these thoughts. Don’t try to get anything at all. It is not about an intellectual understanding. Let go of your intellect, it will not serve you here. It will only get in your way by giving you these kind of concepts. There is nothing to understand. Just the fact that these words are coming to you means that there is openness for these words. Don’t let the mind come in and play its role. These words are doing their work on their own. It is Consciousness speaking to Consciousness; it does not require the mind’s help in any way.
Nothing to get and nowhere to go
We must all drop the idea that there is something to get or somewhere to go. In this getting or going somewhere, we seem to lose our freedom; in this simple trick. It’s just a trick. You are always here. What must you get?
The mind will never be convinced about this. Don’t rely on the mind’s testimony for your own freedom. The mind will always say ‘Just a little more, just a little more; just one more satsang’. Or it will say ‘Enough satsang. Enough satsang. Maybe you need a break’. It will say all this kind of nonsense. So both: ‘Just a little more satsang’ or ‘Enough satsang, you need a break and then you will get it’ are both tricks.
You are always here. Give up your love for this ‘drama queen’ called the mind. Stop living in this never-ending soap opera.
Say something from the Presence itself, of Love and Joy. These words are dipped in honey, and they will appear from within you and you will know they are not from the mind. Because the mind only knows ‘needing something’. The mind only knows to argue with what is present. Your pure intuition, your own Heart will give you the words. In the presence of those words, all around you will find their complete freedom. You will not need to force any of this. Nothing needs to be done.
What is here now?
In a simple question like this, all the seeking and searching can be dropped. Just open to this question: ‘What is here now, right now, every moment, unchanging?’
No matter what the content of awareness is, it could be joy or sorrow or suffering, there is first an awareness of it. In what way are your separate from this Awareness? Is there ever a point where you are not this?
What will convince you that you are free?
What must happen that will convince you that you are free? Let’s answer this question today. What should happen that will convince you that you are free? Can you tell me what must happen so that you will be convinced that you are free after that? What is the event or experience or state which must come to tell you that you are free?
No event is required, no state is required to come, because that kind of freedom would be very trivial. I am not interested in that kind of freedom which is dependent upon a particular experience or some fireworks or some states.
You cannot suffer now. If all appearances are allowed to come and go, you cannot suffer as a result of any of them. In fact, if suffering arises, then it will be seen, and it will only be momentary; it cannot hold onto you. Momentary pain can come, but you cannot suffer.
The mind will never be convinced of this, and it doesn’t matter. Don’t expect the mind to give you a testimonial. Don’t expect a certificate from your mind. It will be a long, long wait.
Don’t drop the inquiry prematurely
There are many who get into ‘dropping the search’ or ‘dropping the inquiry’ prematurely, and their suffering gets continued. Therefore, the point of surrender and inquiry is to free you from your suffering itself. Now it is seen that letting go is the simplest, most powerful exercise that we can do. With a simple letting go of all appearances, this suffering cannot continue. No appearance can touch me. No appearance actually ever touched us. Everything was only dancing in front of us. It was all on the movie screen, and we were always only the watching of it. So, how does the watching get affected by the content of the movie without first inventing a watcher entity?
Tension in the body
The attention which is reporting to the Awareness: Is that attention also tense? Attention is called the most primal tool; my Master calls it our most primal tool. Is that also ‘in tension’ when it gives this attention? Is the Awareness of this attention even touched by what is happening in the body? Where are You? Are You the body or this Awareness itself?
You will find many here who have been here just for a few times, and they find that they are able to let go of all of these appearances, and life continues in its own beautiful way unfolding, but the ability to suffer is now gone. At least it is gone to a very large extent. There can be some momentary things which arise, but if many of us are asked to look back and try to remember, ‘When is the last time we suffered?’ many Beings in satsang are not able to even point this out.
And it is simple, it is no effort actually. It is like we’ve been carrying these heavy bags, we have been carrying this heavy ‘person’ on our back, and we decided to let go of the ‘person’. Everything is God’s problem now, everything is the Guru’s problem now.
Right now you are free
Take my word for it: Right now you are free. Don’t believe your mind’s testimonial about it. You are free Now. You are free Now. I know this because you can never be bound at all. You are completely free right now. You can only imagine yourself to be bound by believing the thoughts that come up to you from now onwards.
Which voice will you believe? That is the ultimate question. There is a voice here that is saying ‘You are free Now. Stay here Now’. And there is another voice which will say ‘Not yet, not yet, just a little more, not yet, you still haven’t got it’. Whose voice will you believe?
There is nothing else that is meant to happen. Every day, satsang is the same. Just pointing you to what has always been here, the most obvious thing.
I love you so much. Deep reverence to the beautiful Master, Satguru Mooji, without whose grace I would not even like to breathe. So much love to beloved Master. Thank you Mooji ji. Thank you for this beautiful sangha. It is all your grace. Thank you. [Namaste]
Consciousness is Not the Body
All of us have these special concepts, that everything else we can let go of, but these special relationships and these special concepts, they need the mind’s intervention, we believe; and we want to hang onto them. We are not any of this false identification. We are that which shall be ever-present, which is always here.
For Consciousness, it is not a big deal to let go of this body and go into another one. It can go from the waking state to the dream state, and various dream states, and this Consciousness seems to use all the bodies as instruments. Don’t get attached to this body. It will also pass one day. But the sense of Presence, the Consciousness, can use as many bodies as it likes.
All appearances come and go, and when these appearances come in contact with us, they seem to become real for us; but don’t give them their reality because they are ultimately transient. No matter what the phenomenal experience is, they are always transient. Don’t hang onto anything that is transient. You be with Your Own Eternal Self.
All that the senses are bringing to you are just phenomenal energies. Do not get attached to any of them. In India this is called the play of maya or the leela, where all this phenomenal existence is just a play, an appearance and a disappearance. The attachment to these is what causes suffering.
Does Consciousness die?
Consciousness doesn’t actually die. For Consciousness, death is nothing. It is like letting go of one body. Consciousness can exist without bodies or with other bodies, it is irrelevant to Consciousness. The sense ‘I Am’ is prior to the body. And it can retain a sense of individuality, that ‘I am separate’ in a body or without a body also. There is no restriction on Consciousness because all of this is a projection of Consciousness itself. It can create whatever it feels to create. It can be this realm, it can be any other realm, it can be body, or without body; all that is possible. But we don’t need to be concerned with any of that. All we need to be concerned with is to find our true nature, which is the pure Awareness within which even this Consciousness takes birth.
Don’t try to figure out Consciousness because it is the great unfathomable One. The mind cannot figure out Consciousness. And if you get into these realms of trying to understanding what happens after death, and Beings with bodies and without bodies, then it will just take you away from your freedom from suffering. It will replace some old concepts with some new concepts. What is being pointed to here is to find your complete freedom, to see, to become aware of your own Self.
From the point of Awareness, all that is appearing and disappearing is ultimately illusory because it comes and goes. To Awareness, which is the timeless One, this coming and going cannot be seen as something real. Even if we were to give a sense of reality to this phenomenal
existence, and we were to say ‘Okay, this is all real; it is all appearing to me, hence it is real’ even then our idea of who I am is still unreal. The personhood is still unreal even at this level.
That’s why I joke and say that it is a second level of unreality. It is a second layer of illusion, this ego, or this idea of being a person. Because nobody can point out that ‘this is the person’. They can point to a body, but a body is only made up of food and nobody believes that they are made up of the food that they ate. They believe that there is something else here which they are. They say ‘I am this person’ but nobody can point it out. It is purely imagined. Therefore, even at a phenomenal level, the ego is completely non-existent or unreal. The rest is up to your definition of whether you call this phenomenal existence real or not real. But as long as you understand that as a person you are unreal; as an ego, the ego is unreal, then that is enough to free you from your suffering.
The Beingness, the sense ‘I Am’ is very beautiful. It is the first arising within pure Awareness itself. Within the pure seeing arises this pure Being. It is completely uncontaminated before the ‘I Am’ becomes ‘I am a person, I am a man (or) I am a woman’ and all the other attributes. Before that it is a pure Presence. The Presence of God itself is here. When we let go of all that is transient we’re in the Presence of that which is eternal.
Finding your Immortality
We’re talking about these sense contacts, and when we realize that we are beyond these appearances, it is then that we discover our own eternal, immortal nature. There is nothing else that is needed to be done to find your immortality. Only the giving up on all that is mortal, all that is changing. If we do not give a sense of reality or attachment to all that is coming and going through our senses, our external senses and our internal perceiving, then we are in the Presence of our very true nature.
Is there awareness in deep sleep?
In the deep sleep state even the Presence ‘I Am’ is not there. Without this Presence of you, the Presence ‘I Am’, there cannot be this world of duality. For the world of duality to be born, first there must be a ‘you’ that is born, first there must be an ‘I Am’ that is born. For me, this world is then born. First the pure Awareness gives birth to the sense of Consciousness, or the sense of ‘I Am-ness’, Beingness, Atma, God, whatever you want to call it; and then all this, in this, using this, the entire play of maya is created.
In deep sleep state, only Awareness is there, and the world, Consciousness, vanishes for this Awareness itself. Awareness is aware that this is nothing; no phenomenal experience is there. But there is something that reports that there was nothing there. Isn’t it? Otherwise we would not be able to say that ‘I was in deep sleep’. There’s an Awareness that there was nothing there, no phenomenon existed; that means that the Awareness was still there. But there was no phenomenal object to report, so nothing gets registered in our memory as an object, and we say that nothing was there. But We are the ones who are aware of this nothing.
Even this non-phenomenal existence, there’s an awareness of that. The world appears and disappears for us, You-as-Awareness, I-as-Awareness; the world appears for this One. When we are saying ‘We are One’ that is what we are referring to; that all there is, is Awareness itself. And what appears comes out of Awareness itself, and goes back to Awareness itself.
What is the distance between me and Awareness?
There is a perceiving of the external world, isn’t there? Through our senses there is a perceiving that happens of the external world. Yes? There’s a perceiving that is happening, and our senses are used as an instrument to aid in the perceiving of this external world. But even if the senses are not there, the eyes are closed, there are objects which are perceived, isn’t it? They are perceived in the form of thoughts, in the form of imaginations, in the form of memories, in the form of feelings and emotions. This perceiving continues, isn’t it?
There’s a perceiving of external objects and there’s a perceiving of internal objects. This ‘I’ that is the perceiver said ‘I can perceive these objects inside’. Can this ‘I’ be perceived? Let’s look first at this. There’s a perceiving, externally, internally, and we say that ‘I perceive’. Can this ‘I’ be perceived?
This ‘I’ is impossible to find. Why do we believe that there must be this ‘I’ if it is impossible to find? There is a perceiving, there is an awareness of all that appears and goes, but does this perceiving report to an ‘entity’? Does this awareness report to something else? And when we’re asked to look for this entity which perceiving could be reporting to, which is the perceiver, then we say that we cannot seem to find it. Therefore, if you cannot find it, let go of the concept of this entity, or this perceiver. It does not exist. Now, we must look and see that there’s a perceiving of all objects: Where am I in relation to this perceiving? What separates me from this awareness?
It’s very simple actually. It’s very, very simple. We said that there’s a perceiving here, there’s an awareness of external objects and internal objects, so the question now is: Where am I in relation to this awareness? What is the distance between me and this awareness? How far from me is it?
Everyone must look for themselves, and come to their conclusion about this. Let all these concepts go; and you tell me where you are in relation to this awareness. How far from you is this awareness? Innocently like a child you must check. And don’t look for any mental answer. You just look and find: Where is this awareness? It must be here, because there is an awareness of these appearances, so awareness must be here now. How far from me is it? How am I separate from this?
You can look at this very simply. Don’t let the mind convince you that it will take some time. No time is required here. Be completely fresh. Forget about everything you have ever heard, and just be here now. In the now, there is an awareness of anything that is arising and going. Where are you with respect to this awareness? Is it in front of you? Is it behind you? How many centimeters away from you is it?
Just stay with what I am saying very simply, without any interpretation at all. Don’t add a single word to what is being said here. Keep it exactly as it is being said here. Don’t try to do anything at all. Only follow these words: There is an awareness of all that arises. It could be a thought, it could be a feeling, it could be an image, it could be an external object. It is undeniable that there is an awareness of this. So the simple question is: Where is this awareness in relation to you? How far from you is this awareness from you? What is the distance between this awareness and you? Where does it start and where does it end?
Drop all expectations of what must happen now. Drop all ideas of what this means. There is an awareness of all thoughts. Stay as the Awareness itself. Don’t go with the content of the thoughts. Reject all mental visuals of this awareness. If the mind is creating some imaginations of this awareness, there is an awareness of this as well; so stay with this Awareness that is aware of all this imagination also. Find out if there is any separation between you and this Awareness. Let all things come and go. Don’t let any appearance take you away.
You cannot stop being aware
All is appearing in front of you. You cannot stop being aware. This Awareness is your true nature. It is what You Are. You are not a thing. You are not an object. You are pure perceiving itself. You are this pure Awareness. This Awareness is untouched by all appearances. This Awareness does not come and go. Know that you have always been this, no matter what is appearing and disappearing. You have only been this pure, untouched Awareness. This is the true immortal nature of what You Are. As long as you do not give belief to the transient, this cannot leave you. You don’t have to hold onto anything. This is not an experience or a state. This cannot leave you because this is Who You Are.
Don’t worry about any state coming and going. This is not a ‘feel good program’. This is what will point you to the source of all feelings, with complete lack of concern with what feelings appear and disappear. That is freedom. If you’re still going to be bound to what feelings are appearing and disappearing, then that is not freedom. This Awareness is untouched by all feelings. Everything is allowed to appear and disappear. Don’t cling on to any state, any bliss, any joy, any sorrow, any grief, any pain; let all of it go. You stay as the Awareness itself, which means don’t go anywhere at all. Don’t stir a thought. Don’t move anything. Nowhere to go, nothing needs to happen. Just simply the Awareness is ever-present.
You are aware of all the tricks of the mind. You are aware of what the mind is saying. That does not make you the mind. You’re still only the Awareness of it. What is appearing in front of you cannot be You; it can only arise from you but it cannot be You. All is dancing in front of Awareness, but you are Awareness itself. Can you leave this place and show me now? Can you become a ‘person’ and show me now? How will you pull off this magic trick? Stop being Awareness and become a ‘person’ and show me how you will do it. Stop worrying about keeping any state. Be completely fearless, and show me how you become a ‘person’ and stop being Awareness. Let it all go. Even the ones who are unaware of being Awareness are always only Awareness itself. There are no people here. You-as-Awareness will be completely untouched by all of this. That is freedom.
Trying to Hold onto Awareness
Consciousness seems to be playing out in this way, that the theme for yesterday and this morning has been that many have written to me saying ‘I have understood now. I have understood that I am not this person, and that I am that pure Awareness is completely understood. But I can’t hold onto it’. Or ‘The great feelings that I was in the Presence of don’t seem to stay’. Or ‘I want to be exactly as I am in satsang itself. I don’t want the state to change’. Let’s look at this very closely today.
In the first place, what did we understand? We understood that ‘I have never been this person, and I am pure Awareness itself’. Isn’t that what we understood? And we say that ‘We have completely understood this; there is nothing more to understand. It is completely understood. I’ve understood that I am pure Awareness. I Am That’. And then we say ‘Why don’t these feelings stay?’
Are you starting to notice the dichotomy? Is it Awareness who is complaining about any state? Do we ever lose the Awareness? Are we ever not that? What is actually happening is that we let the person back in with this expectation that something should stay. Are you able to see this?
Wanting to proclaim ‘I am free’
Also, for some, there is a voice trying to claim freedom, which wants to be recognized as free. And this voice must also be completely ignored. Completely ignored. Because if this voice is believed, it will give birth to the spiritual ego; and the spiritual ego is the most difficult variant of the ego. If you were to assign difficulties to something that doesn’t exist, then the most difficult form of the non-existent-one is the spiritual ego.
There is no need for any sort of proclamations at all. Let other Beings come to you and proclaim this for you. There is nothing required for us to proclaim. And if it comes very naturally, if you find that your mouth is moving and these words are coming out, that is absolutely fine. But if it is coming from the mind, it can be ignored as any other thought must be. There is nothing special about this thought at all. All of you are actually free, completely free. That is what we have been saying, isn’t it? If it is coming with a sense of specialness it can be ignored completely.
Nothing that is arising must be clung onto. Be in that beautiful state of neutrality. Because if you get attached to the idea of freedom then this idea itself will block it in some way. As my Master says ‘Like a finger can prevent our view of the moon’. In the same way, an idea like this can prevent.
Who is suffering?
Identify for me: Who is the one that is suffering? Who does this suffering belong to? All concepts are conditioning itself. Don’t expect freedom to mean anything that your mind pretends it to be. The mind has no idea about what freedom is.
There are millions of Beings who are just saying ‘Just a little more, just a little more, then the final state, then the final state’. This is the voice of the mind. It will never say that ‘Freedom is here right now’. It will always say ‘Just that little more, just one more’. This you must now surrender completely. It means nothing. There is no state to aspire to. You are prior to all states. All states arise within You and dissolve within You, and no state will stay. Anything that comes, must go. Right? All expectations of it being some final state must be dropped. This is the trick.
What must happen for me to be free?
Okay, so what must this final state be like? Can we ask ourselves: ‘What must happen before we convince ourselves that we are free? What must happen?’ Let’s be honest, completely honest. Let’s expose this. What must happen before we convince ourselves that we are free? Are you expecting some miracles, are you expecting some experiences, some fireworks, are you expecting God to tell you that you are free?
Because the Guru is constantly telling you that you are free, so there must be this specific expectation that something should happen. Or maybe there’s a specialty thing that ‘it should only happen to me now’, that you are now free. Is that what it is? Expose all this trickery of the mind, at least to yourself. And then, forget about it. Once it is seen to be a trick of the mind, then we can just let it go.
Expecting movements of Consciousness to stop
Movements of Consciousness cannot stop in the waking state. The waking state means that there is a movement in Consciousness; constant movement of Consciousness. When the ‘I Am’ is here then there is constant movement; and this constant creativity and destruction is the name of this game. Brahma is here, Vishnu is here and Shiva is here in the waking state. All of them will do their job no matter what state we are in. The holy trinity gives birth inside us from this pure Consciousness itself, and nothing can stop the dance of Nataraj. This dance is constantly present as long as the sense ‘I Am’ or Beingness is present. This expectation, that something must be stopped, must go.
Are we ever not in the now?
All these expectations are there. Then, don’t project them onto the past or into the future. Just in the very present moment show me which of these expectations is not being fulfilled. In the very present moment, without referring to your mind at all, tell me, in the now, where is the suffering? Tell me, in the now, how you are stressed? Forget about the state of the body. The body can have pain, it can have any state. Tell me how you are in pain or under some stress?
All of this is actually right here, right now. This freedom is always available in the present. But when we start believing that there is something to be done, or something that is left to do, or something you must achieve or some state that must be here, then in that belief we lose sight of this freedom. This freedom will not go away; it’s only that we lose sight of it.
Are we ever not in the now? Which part of us leaves the now? We see now that in ‘the now’ there is no suffering, it is all freedom; all of this is here. Which part of us leaves the now? How do we ever leave the now?
It is only when we confuse ourselves to be an appearance within the now; that is when the distraction can happen. If it is clear that we are only the Awareness, and this is all appearing within us in the now, then we are completely free from this suffering.
I know I am free, but the mind disagrees
The mind will never agree. At best, it will give up trying to convince you about anything, but it will never give you a testimonial for your freedom. It will always say ‘Just a little more’ or it will say ‘You are deluding yourself’ or it will say ‘You are not there yet’. All this nonsense it will speak. But it cannot fathom the truth, so it will not ever agree that you are free. Don’t try to reform the mind at all. Leave it alone. The more energy you give it, the stronger it will seem to become.
Without any testimony about the past and future, what is the pure expectation that can still remain about freedom? It is clear now? All of you are forever free. Just don’t believe the voice that says otherwise. Don’t expect that something should happen. Freedom is not related to any experience, any appearance.
The ego cannot be here now; and You cannot not be now, which refers to your true Self. The individual identity cannot be there now, cannot be in the now. You, in your true reality, are only in the now because the now is all there ever is. The rest is all just imagination.
How the mind interprets life
Earlier there was this question about how the mind interprets life. Let’s look at that question now. It always interprets it as something. All appearance are interpreted by the mind as something, when in reality they are always nothing. It cannot be simpler than that, no? All appearances are nothing. But the mind always interprets it as something. And in this process, we become ‘a something’. Because anything is always in relation with another; it’s always in relation with what I believe myself to be. If there is nothing here, then there is nothing there. But if there is something here, then there are lots of things there. If there is nothing here, then there is nothing anywhere. But if there’s a belief that there is something here, then everything appears like something.
Everything which appears can be used for Inquiry
Whatever has been repressed, whatever belief we are holding onto and it is not dealt with inside, will show up for us outside, because everything needs to be dealt with. It is seen that, in this projection called life, the same lessons keep coming back to us unless we have completely transcended them. Unless they are seen to be nothing at all, then they keep coming back to us. As long as we’re not completely tired of the ego, everything that comes is used to perpetuate the ego. ‘Why did this one do this to me? Why does this one always do this? Why do I always
behave in this way?’ All of this perpetuating the ego, perpetuating the sense of separation, the sense of being a separate individual.
Once it is seen that ‘I want to be completely free of this ego. All I want is freedom, and I trust the words of the Master’ then everything that appears can be used for inquiry. Who is suffering because of this? Who is this appearing to? Who is the mind speaking to? Then our way of looking at things becomes this way, and quickly, quickly it is seen that there is no individual entity here anyway to worry about; and all of this just becomes a very happy dream. Happy not because there are only happy, happy things that happen here; happy because nothing can touch us now. And if it does, it is only momentarily. Pain can come momentarily, but nothing makes us suffer. That’s why we say it is a happy dream.
Attachment to our children
I have never asked anyone to drop any attachment to their children because it is the primal attachment. Even in the animal kingdom it is found. Therefore, don’t feel like you must force this out. If very naturally it is seen that, yes, my child, the appearance of my child, is also appearing from this Beingness itself, it is fine. But don’t make it a project for the mind to drop all attachment to your loved ones.
Let life unfold in its own way, and you will see, very naturally and automatically, you will be in the midst of a universal love. A universal love will be present here. Like I joke sometimes, I say sometimes ‘When I’m walking on the road, I feel like hugging everyone’. But it doesn’t play out that way. The Self knows how to play in any relationship; how to say and what to say, what kind of actions are required. It knows completely well in the moment what to do, and it can play the role of mother, father child. All these roles can be played. Therefore, come to a place of complete neutrality and allow life to unfold in its own way. That is the simple way.
The Guru sees you as free
If you could only see yourself as I see you, you would see something that is so beautiful and so completely adequate, and something I’m so much in love with, with what You Are. It must be a very, very tricky trickster who is making you to believe that you are inadequate. You are blessed with so much faith, trust and devotion that you are so adequate, so adequate. I cannot even find the words for how adequate you are. You don’t need to do anything at all, you don’t need to come to any state at all. Just be with me, everything is perfect; everything is perfect.
We are completely untouched by any state
What we started satsang with today was to be clear that no matter what joy and suffering comes, we are completely untouched. No? And this does not mean that we become very robotic. Everything is free to play here, but freedom means that we are free from any state. But when we create an expectation that it should only be joy, and not suffering; it should only be bliss, and not sorrow, that is when we put a condition to our freedom. And to put a condition is the opposite of freedom itself. Freedom means that everything is allowed to appear and disappear; which it will anyway. The ‘person’ does not exist, therefore he cannot do anything anyway to stop this flow of
life. But when we rest in our true identity, then it can be enjoyed as a movie. All is allowed to come and go.
How to know if something is coming from the mind or from intuition?
How do we know when something is coming from the mind or something is coming intuitively, being expressed by our own Satguru? If it is accompanied truly by the presence of love, peace and joy then I say that they are the words dipped in honey and that they are emerging. But if it has a needy energy, and something; a sense of specialness or a separation, or a need or an aversion, then it is coming from the mind.
In this simple way, we looked into this question of whether something is coming from the mind or from our heart and intuition. The ego and the Presence of Love cannot co-exist. If there is a Presence of Love, then the ego is not found there. Ego is all about fear, need, desire, aversion; all of these are the ego’s friends which accompany it. The heart’s friends, the intuition’s friends, are love, peace, joy, fearlessness.
When the ego wants to fight with the Guru
That which wants to fight with my kindness will meet no defense here. It will meet no defense here whatsoever, because what is here is the same as what is there, and it needs no defending. If there is no defense here, it will constantly be confused. It is impossible to attack without there being some defense; and that attack cannot last long.
It cannot last long, because in your heart you know that I love you so much. And it is unconditional. It is not dependent on the words that you could say, and the actions that you could do. My love for you is completely constant, because it is not personal. It is just the Presence of Love which is here.
Am I Free?
Today I feel we must ask two questions. The first question we must ask is: ‘Am I free?’
Those who answered ‘yes’ have to answer: ‘Does that make me special in relation to the rest?’
And those who answered ‘no’ have to identify: ‘In what way am I not free?’
And those who answered ‘I don’t know’ must also say: ‘In what way do I feel that I’m not free?’
And for the ones who answered from the heart and the answer was ‘I am beyond both freedom and bondage’ it is very good. If it is a sincere response from the heart then it is very good.
Now, for the ones who said ‘I am free’ then it should be completely clear that there is no specialness about it. The realization is that ‘I have always been free, in the same way everyone is always free. Everyone is always free’.
If it becomes that ‘It is a special experience which I am having for myself, and the rest of the world is still bound in some way’ then we must look at this and explore this. So the realization is that ‘I have always been free, I only believed myself to be bound; in the same way the world is ever free, only imagining themselves to be bound’.
For those who said ‘No, I’m not free yet’ there were some responses like ‘Still believe in my thoughts’. Even if there is belief in thoughts, in what way does that make us bound? In what way do these things affect Awareness? The One that is aware that ‘I still believe my thoughts’, is that affected by the content of the thoughts we might be believing?
Once you see that nothing really happens to You, then you will see that it is okay. All this also is okay. Nothing can truly shake You. Nothing can make you something that you are not. Nothing has ever really happened to anyone at all. Nothing has ever really happened.
Do I have anything to do about my freedom?
No, actually you do not have a choice, because you cannot NOT be free. It’s my feeling strongly to tell all of you this today: You are ever-free. You are always ever only free. The only choice you have is to believe that you are not, or to believe that you are; to imagine that you are bound or imagine that you are free. Which part of you is not free? Which part of you is bound? Are You really that which is bound? Are You not just the awareness of all of this, the Awareness in which all of this appears?
What is clear is that the appearance of certain thoughts and their belief, once we give them belief, then we seem to be bound. But what is actually getting bound? Can we look at where this bound person is? Even after believing a certain thought, who is bound? Is that not just another idea? In this way, is not an idea suffering from other ideas about itself? Who is suffering except an idea? Can you show me the sufferer? Who is bound? Who is suffering, can anyone show me this one. Just look at it fresh and tell me: Who is this person who is bound or suffering?
How do I break free of this identity? Is leaving work helpful?
First I say, first you must leave your identity here now. Be free from this identity, be free from your concepts of what kind of worker you are, what kind of employee you are, what kind of work you would like to do, what your positioning should be in an organization, how you are mistreated or how you should be treated in an organization, who is your boss. Don’t believe any thought about any of it. Then let the self unfold in the way it is meant to unfold, let the appearance unfold in the way it is meant to.
Please, all of you must remember this because there is no person here at all; there has never been any personal control. So it only Consciousness that has been playing itself in this way and it will continue to play in the way it wants to. Therefore it is not important whether you stay in work or you let go of work and you do something else. What is most important is whether you let go the identity of being a worker. Better still, let go of the identity of being a person at all.
When you are just the witnessing of all of this, then it can unfold in any-which-way, and it loses the ability to cause any suffering to you. Only an idea is suffering. Only the concept of the person is suffering. You are only the Awareness of it. In what way is the Awareness affected by any of this?
To renounce anything in the world, in a worldly fashion, will not help. What we must do is renounce the concepts we have about these things. We must renounce our identity as a person. We must basically renounce the mind. We must renounce our thoughts, by withdrawing our belief and ultimately our attention from them. Once you withdraw your belief from thought, then they will lose their magnetism to your attention as well.
Without your thoughts, do you have a problem?
So for now, just stop believing your thoughts, and then tell me what your problem is. Don’t tell me your mind’s problems, tell me your problems. Can you do that? Are you just a parrot for the mind’s voice, or can you reach the deeper intuitive voice which will speak through you as the voice of the Satguru itself? When I hear this voice from you, I am forever at your feet.
Don’t believe any thought; and all that is required to be experienced is immediately perceived. We must let go of what the mind is telling us about freedom and liberation and enlightenment. Find your own truth by letting go of your thoughts. Freedom is just freedom from this bondage. Nothing needs to be done. Just don’t pick up a single thought. No thought will help you. Don’t pick up a single thought. All doing must stop now. Let life unfold on its own, the way it must. Thoughts are not in service to you at all.
Is anger and frustration a clear sign of believing that one is a person?
For anyone who has come into this conditioned world, anyone who has come into this realm, momentarily these things can still happen. What is more important is not to feel guilty about this. So don’t let anger become resentment. Momentarily, if some anger was arising, some Shiva
energy came and it blasted out and then it was over, then let it be over. All the Gurus, all the Masters have had their moments of anger, their moments of fear. Anyone who has come into this world, be it the great Beings like Jesus or Ram or the great Avatars themselves, have also had moments where the person-hood was believed, but only momentarily; and it does not have the capacity now to make you suffer except for that moment.
So don’t have an expectation that freedom means the complete dissolution of anger, and freedom means the complete dissolution of fear and the complete dissolution of frustration. It does not mean that. It just means that you lose the ability to hold on to them. You will not be able to hold on to them beyond a few moments. And you’re living fresh moment to moment. What were you irritated with ten minutes ago you will not be able to remember.
In the now, there is no problem
In the now there is never a problem. In every right-now there is only the now. Then there is no problem. Therefore there can never truly be a problem at all. It is all just a play of Consciousness itself. We have to look at even all of this as grace, because that grace brought us here to our deep understanding of our true nature, to our deepest, truest understanding of our true nature.
All is just an appearance which is appearing, and it will go eventually. Then we can say that neither freedom nor bondage apply to me. ‘Neither freedom nor bondage apply to me’. Then we can say this, because it will be clearly seen this way.
Am I subconsciously creating my illness?
Only Consciousness is doing all of this. The belief in the person-hood, the belief that ‘I am a person’ is perpetuated by believing some specific thoughts or special thoughts about what should appear or not appear in my life. Therefore now you drop all of this stuff and you see where this person really is.
Where is the person who is manifesting all of this? What is the reality of this person? Are you just the body that is made up of the food you have eaten? Are you just your thoughts? Or is all of this is just appearing for you? All of this is just being witnessed in you? You must look at this question now. All siddhis, all manifestation, all positive/negative manifestation, all workings of the mind will be completely irrelevant to you, because you see that it is a pure play of Consciousness just like any other dream or projection of this Consciousness. Therefore you will not have an interest in the dream; which dream thought is making the dream body have which experience. It is our belief that we are this body-mind as a person that leads us to have interest in this. But once we see that ‘I am not here at all, I am just the pure witnessing of all of this’ then this question will fall away. It is usually seen that life unfolds in a very beautiful way irrespective of the specific content of this life.
Don’t try to use all these tricks of manifestation. You were saying ‘manifestation in the form of subconscious manifestation with diseases forming’. There are many Beings who are trying to manifest specific ‘positive’ things in their life. But this operates under the presumption that the mind knows what is good for us, the mind knows what is needed. But the mind actually knows
nothing at all; so what can I ever ask for specifically? I do not know whether having a million dollars in the bank, or whether to have another set of friends, or what kind of relationships is good for me or not. I do not know what kind of suffering any of these situations in life will bring.
Be grateful for whatever is here
All I can ask for is the continued blessings of my Guru, which are ever-present. I can only be grateful for whatever is here. I can only be grateful for my Master’s grace. But I don’t have the ability now to ask for specific things because I do not know. I can clearly see the mind does not know what is required or not. So there is a complete trust in what the universe is bringing up on its own.
You will find the mind will become quieter and quieter. But even if it is throwing up a huge tsunami of words and other things that are coming up, then you don’t worry about it. Don’t feel that you have lost something. Because the mind will sometimes push all these buttons when you are unprepared, and then you will feel that you lost something which you had.
It is not the quietness of the mind, it is not the noisiness of the mind; it is once you have seen that you are not the mind then it doesn’t matter what the mind is doing. We stop dancing to the mind’s tunes. Be no longer a slave to the mind. We are not a puppet in the mind’s hand anymore. When we stop the nourishment of belief to our thoughts, then this idea of personhood cannot survive at all. It is as simple as that.
Marinating in the Silence
Let’s keep everything very, very simple because the realization of the Self is very simple. Nothing complicated, nice and easy, we will see if we can truly perceive for ourselves what has been spoken about here. All I want to do is keep it so simple that we only look at our thoughts. We don’t do anything about them, we’re not saying anything about anything at all. Only, can we look at our thoughts?
Okay, just simply follow what is being said, with no expectations. Nothing is going to happen. We’re just going to play with some simple ideas today.
Looking at thoughts
Wait for the next thought to come.
And when it comes, just try to see what it looks like.
How do you perceive it?
Don’t imagine anything, don’t create anything,
Just wait for it to come and just see what it looks like.
Find out how it communicates with you.
Don’t resist any thought, let all thoughts come, be complete open.
When they arise, just watch them, and see what they look like.
How do you perceive them?
What are they trying to tell you?
Let all thoughts come, and don’t be in any rush for them to go.
Just look at them, just look at the thought.
Just be with the thought.
Bring all your attention to your next thought.
If no thought is coming, that is okay.
If lots of thoughts are coming, that is okay, too.
All we have to do is watch them.
Don’t get involved in what the thought is saying; just watch it.
If you find that you got involved, don’t worry; wait for the next thought to come. With complete openness, just wait for the next thought to arise.
If some experiences are happening in the body, don’t worry about them.
Just let them be.
Don’t try to get to any state.
Don’t make any effort at all, just be completely open to the next thought.
What does a thought look like?
How do you perceive it?
Just watch, and let them pass.
Just watch the next thought and let it pass.
You cannot do this incorrectly, you are all doing it right.
All that is happening is grace.
Just watch the next thought and let it pass.
We are keeping it very simple.
No need to use the mind for anything at all.
Only watching the thoughts.
Let all thoughts come, don’t judge any of them, don’t worry about good and bad. Let them come, hear what they have to say, and let them pass.
Be completely open to whatever they have to say, just don’t get involved. Just be completely open to what they look like or what they have to say. Don’t resist anything at all.
Everything is allowed to appear in the space that you are. Let all thoughts appear now, don’t resist anything at all.
Pay attention to the next thought.
Bring your full attention in readiness for the next thought to arise. Be completely open to watch it.
Let it come, and let it go.
Just keep watching. Only keep watching.
If some judgments are there, just watch them and they will go.
Keep your attention ready for the next thought to come.
When it comes, just watch. Watch how it comes and goes.
What does it look like?
Now, turn your attention to the one is watching. Don’t try to do anything, don’t try and use your mind.
My instructions will work on their own. You don’t need to do anything at all. Just turn your attention to the one who is watching the thoughts.
With your eyes closed, bring your attention to the one who is watching the thoughts. No need to imagine, no need to create. Don’t do anything at all.
Let my words work on their own.
Gently wait for the next thought to arise.
And after it passes, turn your attention to the one who is watching.
Keep your attention automatically, with no effort, on the one who is watching. If attention is running around, let it run about; you just rest.
All thoughts arise in your own space of Awareness. They arise inside you and go back inside you.
In what way is Awareness touched by what your thoughts are saying?
This Awareness is completely untouched. This is who You are. This is what you have been seeking.
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti
Let all things happen as they are.
If there is a feeling that something is falling apart, that can also be allowed. You just marinate in your own silence.
So much love to all of you.
About Problems
Let’s look at what it means when we say we have a problem. All of us have experienced this phenomenon at some time or other in our life. In fact, most of humanity spends most of their lives dealing with this phenomenon called problems. Let’s look at problems today.
What are the different types of problems that we can have? We can have a problem related to the body; a health issue, something in the body. The appearance of the body, or the way the body is appearing can be the first type of problem. Isn’t it?
The second type of problems we can have are problems related to relationships. Any type of relationships, our relationship with another Being, can be the second type of problem we can have. And this one is particularly juicy; especially with the ‘significant other’ the problems that we have still seem to grab our attention. Many Beings come to satsang and still carry this problem of relationships or special relationship with ‘significant other’ or other types of relationships that we have.
The third type of problem we can have is problems related to security; financial security, money, business. All of these are one sort of problem which are ideas about money, financial security.
Day to day for most of humanity, these are the three types of problems. Isn’t it? Body, relationships and financial security.
Then, the fourth type, the rare problem, is the problem of finding our-Self. The problem of finding our freedom, finding purpose, finding liberation is this problem of truly trying to figure out who we are. This is the rare problem.
All the various problems that we deal with in our life are just the variations of these four. If I’m missing something, or some variation of a problem, I’d love to hear about it. Because when the mind hears this for the first time, there’s always a reaction saying ‘It cannot be that simple. This is not what my life is all about’. We can look at ‘What are the other types of problems that can be experienced, which are not related to these four?’ Is there anything else?
How something becomes a problem
Let’s presume that it is these four basic problems that humanity is dealing with, day after day, lifetime after lifetime, for centuries and centuries. Let’s first look at how something becomes a problem.
For something to become a problem, it has to go from being an appearance to becoming something that we call a problem. Yes? Look at the practical ones first. Something appears in the body, or seems to appear in the body. It could be a disease, it could be a pain, it could be the weight of the body. All of this is an appearance. The same way, something could appear in front of us in the form of a Being who’s behaving in a different way than we would like, and that becomes another appearance. It could be a new Being, or it could be a Being that we’ve known for a long time; but where something is there where we do not agree, then that becomes a
problem in terms of our relationship. And the third is having to do with not having enough money in the bank, or not knowing how to make sure it is secure. Both are problems; not having enough, and what to do with it; both can become problems. And the fourth appearance is the appearance that there is something missing in our life. When there’s a feeling that something is incomplete, or there is something missing in our life, then this problem appears.
All of these are just appearances. They are just appearing. In what way do they become problems? Try to answer this question. All these appearances appear, and we are seeing them. In what way are they problems? The question is: In what way is an appearance, whatever it might be, in the body and the world, in what way does an appearance become a problem? How does it go from being just an appearance into being a problem?
A problem is personal identity plus belief in thoughts
There must be a sense of a personal identity. There must be identification that ‘I am a certain identity who is a certain way’. And this identity is just imagined, it is made up of just ideas and concepts and beliefs. Basically it is made up of thoughts that we believe about our-self.
When we believe that ‘I am an individual who needs to be in love with someone’ and this thought is there, and this person to be in love with does not appear, that becomes a problem. When we believe that ‘I am an individual who should have more money in the bank’ then that becomes a problem. When we believe that ‘This body is me, and this body is who I am’ and the body doesn’t seem to be functioning according to our plan, then that becomes a problem. When we believe that ‘As an individual identity, I am bound in some way, I need something else to be complete’ then comes the problem of finding freedom or self-realization.
Both are required: First this personal identity that’ I am an individual entity’ and second, that ‘There is some meaning to this thought which is arising about the appearance’. For something to become a problem, there has to be a personal identity, and thought appearing, and a belief in that thought. Can there be a problem if any of this is not there?
We looked at three things: The personal identity, (which is made of just thought), then the appearance of a thought, (which is dealing with the appearance which is not in coherence with the thought), and third is our belief in that thought. All three elements must be there for us to call something a problem.
It is actually that a resistance to the present moment, or a resistance to what is appearing, is created with these three forces or elements. Therefore, if even one of these elements was taken away, then the problem could not exist. Yes? We must check in and confirm. The personal identity, the appearance of a thought which is in dissonance with what is appearing outside, and thirdly, our belief in this thought that appears. And if there was a possibility to take away one element, even one element, the problem could not exist. Only when all these three elements are synchronized and working well can we create a problem.
It is so much hard work to create a problem, isn’t it? Have we looked at it that way; that we are working so hard to create our problems? It’s a lot of hard work to create this resistance, to create our problems.
How to be free of problems
How to be free from these problems forever? If all three elements are needed, if there is a choice at all, what would be the choice I would make? What could I do to be free from problems?
The first element was this personal identity. When we do the inquiry, and we ask ourselves ‘Who am I really?’ we come to the dissolution of this personal identity. And once this personal identity is dissolved, there cannot be a problem anymore. The self-inquiry works on the dissolution of the personal identity.
The second is the appearance of a thought. We cannot do anything about a thought appearing or not. The thought will appear, and we cannot and should not stop any thoughts from appearing. The second element can be left alone.
The third element is our element of belief, our engagement with the content of this thought. And that is what is meant by letting go or surrender, which is to say that ‘I am now surrendered to the Satguru, I am now surrendered to God, and I am not concerned with whatever the thought is trying to tell me; it is God’s problem or the Guru’s problem’.
The letting go means the cutting off of this element, therefore stopping of any problem or any suffering to arise. And with this letting go, also the personal identity stops getting any nourishment and it starts to dissolve.
There seem to be two methods; they are the same actually. The two methods are: to inquire into our true nature and not settle for any of the mind’s answers, and the second is the surrendering. Both lead to the dissolution of the personal identity, and hence, this is the end of suffering.
Problems are an opportunity for self-discovery
All appearances are the same; it’s the same play of the energy of Consciousness. That is why an object is also made up of the same energy as a thought; and a thought is made up of the same energy as the objects that we seem to see with our senses. It’s just that they are perceived differently, but ultimately everything is made up of Consciousness itself. Therefore it is said that freedom is the state of non-resistance. When we are letting go of all that is appearing, it is a state of non-resistance; and therefore there is no suffering, which is called freedom.
In any appearance which seems to be problematic, there is an opportunity for self-discovery. All things which appear and seem to be problems then become doorways into our own freedom, into our own self-discovery because we can use them to ask: ‘Whose problem is this? Which thought was believed?’ Inquiry can be doorways into our own self-discovery.
Welcoming problems
Therefore, I would even go so far as to say: Welcome any problems that want to come into your life. Now, after this understanding, be completely open to all problems if they want to come into your life. Don’t resist, don’t fight, don’t say something should not appear. Welcome all appearances, be completely fearless about it. Let any appearance come; and you will see if that still becomes a problem for you or not. If it does not, it is greater stability into your own freedom. If it does, it is pointing you deeper into your own true understanding by giving you the fodder which can be thrown into this fire. It is giving you more fuel for this fire if it becomes a problem.
In this way it can be said that all that appears is now grace. All that appears now is grace because there is no resistance to anything at all. And there is a great trust that if it is still appearing and seems to have some juice, it must be welcomed because it is an opportunity to look at this, to transcend this. If it would not appear, then we would not be able to transcend it; we will not be able to surrender it. Therefore, life operates in this very beautiful way, that whatever needs to be transcended or surrendered or forgiven always appears in front of us.
Grace is the end of fear
This is the end of fear; once everything is seen as grace itself. Now the ego is left with no room to maneuver. Nothing is left for it to do, it has nowhere to go, it has nothing to fight, no one to attack or defend.
Life cannot be against us. That’s why my Master said that the greatest mantra is ‘Thank You’. To whatever is appearing, the greatest mantra is to say ‘Thank You’. Because, he says, life is not vindictive, it is supportive.
Remember that we’re not to resist the appearance of any thought. All thoughts are allowed to appear. We are just to let them go. Don’t engage with them, don’t give them a room to stay.
Who can have a problem now? Where is the suffering now? Who can have a problem now? An appearance can no longer become a problem with the dissolution of the personal identity or with the withdrawal of belief in our thoughts; which ultimately leads to the same thing. When the personal identity is dissolved, then there can be no belief in the thought, which are always about the person anyway.
The appearance can come, and even if momentarily there’s some belief given to the thought about it, it does not last long, because the belief is quickly withdrawn. Or, very quickly we ask ‘Who is this problem for? Who is suffering?’ All appearances will still continue to come; don’t have any expectation about any appearance changing with this understanding. This understanding does not mean that the appearances must change. It is seen many times that they do change. But do not carry this expectation; be completely open to everything that arises.
Appearances Can’t Touch Our True Nature
We’ve been looking at how all these appearances cannot touch our true nature in any way. All these phenomenal appearances cannot touch Awareness, and therefore we are completely unaffected by all of this play of maya. Can one of you tell me what, if anything, is not an appearance? Is there anything which is not an appearance? Anything at all? What was bothering us a few minutes ago, was that not an appearance? What is in front of us now, is that not an appearance? Everything that is perceived, is that not just another appearance? But the one to which it appears, is that also an appearance?
This ‘I’ in which everything takes birth and dies, this ‘I’ is the real you, is the true Self, is Awareness itself. Now we are attacking the root of suffering itself. Because if we can clearly see that it is only an appearance, anything phenomenal is only an appearance, then how can we suffer because of it? If I am truly this One, if I am truly the Awareness itself, then how am I suffering because of anything at all? When the suffering does happen, isn’t that another appearance again? Is that a real position?
Then why do we refer to ourselves as the untrue one, as the one who is only coming and going, as the one who is suffering, as the one who has moods, as the one who has needs? When will we stop referring to ourselves as this temporary one? When will we start referring to ourselves as what we have seen to be our own true nature?
Awareness being aware of itself is the only non-phenomenal seeing. It is very, very simple; it is the simplest thing. You are aware that you are aware now. You are aware that there is awareness now. Because when I tell you to ‘Stop being aware’ you cannot stop. That means there is an awareness that there is awareness here.
Don’t let the mind tell you that this is confusing. It’s very simple. I tell you to stop being aware now; you say you cannot stop. Therefore you are aware that you are aware. But this is not a phenomenal seeing, is it? Is this a phenomenal seeing? Is there some phenomenon which is seen that convinces you that you are aware? No? So, it’s a non-phenomenal seeing.
You are already aware of awareness. Is does not need your mind’s help. This awareness of awareness is the only non-phenomenal seeing; everything else is seen as a phenomenon, is experienced as a phenomenon. But your own Awareness, your own Self, is not seen as a phenomenon; but there is an awareness of It, there is an awareness of You.
You must not expect a correlation with the inquiry and with any experience, because in this expectation of a correlation between bliss and inquiry; or even the bliss of the feeling of oneness with the inquiry; the true point will get missed. The inquiry is not to get us to any state. The inquiry is only for us to look at our true nature. A very sober looking at our true nature; that is also inquiry. It does not have to be accompanied by any experience at all. Because what you truly are is not dependent on any experience. There is an awareness of all experiences. This awareness is untouched by the content of the experience. You are this Awareness itself.
Inquiry
What is the inquiry? It is very simple. Say: ‘Who am I? I cannot be an external object, I cannot be this body, I cannot be these emotions and thoughts which are coming and going. I must be the awareness of all of this. There’s an awareness here of all of it. I seem to find no distance from it. I seem to find no separation from it. Therefore this is me. Therefore this has always been me’.
So the inquiry is as simple as that. ‘All thoughts which are appearing, they are just appearing and going. I cannot be the thoughts, but I must be the awareness of them’.
As long as there is a concept of an individual doer, it is good to do the inquiry. You will find that there is no doer here anyway. You will know that it is only Consciousness that did the inquiry. ‘Is there a result that I will experience?’ You will experience that you, as a doer, just do not exist. You, as a person, are not real, is what you will experience. All the other experiences are just by- products. They are not something to look for or chase after. The inquiry is really just trying to find out your true identity: Are you really a person or not? And, if you are a person, where are you? What do you look like?
Stand your ground as Awareness
Sometimes, through the power of satsang itself, these things that were earlier repressed now seem to be coming back up; and also the mind will use everything that it has to try to keep you trapped with all these experiences, all these images, and all these feelings . But you have to now stand your ground. You stand your ground as Awareness itself. Then tell me how any type of darkness and any type of light can impact this Awareness in any way. This Awareness is completely untouched, no matter what the content of the experience is. Let all of this dance happen in front of you. It can be a very scary dance, it can be a very nice dance; but ultimately you are just the watching of all of this, and it is impossible to be touched by any of it. Even if you tried, you cannot be hurt by any of it. This is complete fearlessness. Therefore, we can say to the world ‘Bring It On! There is nothing which can touch me. There is nothing the world can do, there is no phenomenon which can touch me at all. All are here just as an appearance. All are here just for my entertainment’.
‘I Am’ is not Awareness
The ‘I Am’ is the cause of duality, yes, but the ‘I Am’ is not awareness. The sense ‘I Am’ is Consciousness, which is also perceived, isn’t it? So you are aware of even this Consciousness, and this Consciousness gives birth to the world of duality, it gives birth to the mind, gives birth to the body, gives birth to the ego. Every phenomenon is given birth from this Consciousness. This Consciousness is identified just as the pure sense ‘I Am’ but then becomes ‘I am a person, I am this body, this world is where I live’. All these concepts come after the birth of this pure Consciousness.
This ‘I’ is what? Where does he live? What does she look like? Does it have any reality at all whatsoever, or is it just imagined? It is not even an appearance in the phenomenal sense. That is why I say that the ego is the second level of unreality. So if you were to say that the phenomenal world is the first level of unreality, then the ego does not even live in this level. It is just a set of
ideas. So, this one, who you are trying to fix, who you feel should not expect, who you feel should not be disappointed, where does he or she stay? Who are you catering to? Whose needs are you talking about? Whose duality are you referring to? Is it real?
We must now stop referring to ourselves as just the content of some appearance. By now we must have seen that we are the Awareness in which all appears, within which all appears and dissolves. The entire universes are born within me and dissolve within me; they have no reality without me. They are true only in relation to me; they have no independent existence besides me.
Letting go is Surrender
In the presence of your Guru, you will know that it’s all up to him now, it is all his problem now. All you have to do is just follow the words, follow the pointing of the words. The Presence is, as it is, working in you on its own. So, as the Presence of the Guru is with you, you will realize that the concept of the individual doer itself is dissolving. When the doer concept is dissolving, that means automatically that this is a state of surrender. To bring you to the point of surrender is also the Guru’s problem. It is not something that you can do. All you must do is follow the pointing of the Guru that is saying to just let go of all your thoughts. As they are coming, just let them go. Don’t worry about any other thing that you have to do. Then it will be clear to you that in letting go of all your concepts and beliefs, that itself is surrender. That itself is surrender. So instead of using a big word like surrender, I just say ‘You let go’. That letting go takes care of everything itself.
Why I don’t get it?
The wonderful secret is that there is no secret. You are always the Self itself. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do; you cannot not be the Self. All needs, all seeking, all desire is a fake, is a con job, because you are already complete, completely. There is nowhere to go, nothing to find. You are already That. If someone says ‘How come you don’t get it?’ that means that there is some sense of specialness there, or some form of spiritual ego there; therefore you must ignore what they say. The ones that have truly understood will never say ‘How come you don’t get it?’ because they already know that You are always That, and there is nothing to get. Get it?
Be open to any thoughts
If you’re bottling up [feelings] all the time, and then coming to satsang, then even during satsang time they are trying to get your attention; which is okay. Even now you can be completely open to any thoughts. Let them come, and you hand them over to me. You can hand them over to me, and give them to me so that I can take care of that. You don’t have to worry with them anymore. Your life will unfold in exactly the way it is meant to unfold. Let the events of your life also be handed over to the Satguru. You are the watching of all of this. Let this life only become a movie for you to enjoy, but don’t give it a sense of reality.
Is seeking freedom not a desire in itself?
The desire for liberation, the desire for freedom, is the one desire that will first burn up all your other desires. All the other things that you are attached to will go with this. Then ultimately it will burn itself. This is the only desire that can do this. First it sees through the unreality of all the other desires, and then it brings you to the conclusion that there is no person here anyway; and then because there is no person here anyway, this desire, which also started off as a personal desire, cannot continue to perpetuate. So, that is freedom. It brings you to the freedom from this idea of being a person. From this idea of being a person you go to your true position of being the Self, of being Awareness. Once this position change happens, then even the desire for freedom cannot exist. So this is the only desire with a self-destruct mechanism built in. [Big smile]. So this desire for freedom will destroy everything else in a good way, and then will destroy itself, too.
The Witnessing of Every Appearance
You know what the funny thing is? The funny thing is that very quickly we are able to accept that there is no individual at all. That seems very true. But somehow, when we say that you are not running your life, or there is no individual running this life, then that still seems to have some resistance. So, isn’t that a dichotomy coming from the mind, that now since we’ve been in satsang and we’ve understood Advaita to some extent, that we are readily able to accept that there is no individual here; but when the rubber really hits the road and we say that you are not really running your life, then some resistance starts to build up? Have you seen this?
For there to be an independent volition, and independent action as individuals, there must be the existence of this separate individual. Yet, when we ask questions about it, just some very basic questions like ‘Where are you? What do you look like?’ we fail to answer. Nobody has been able to locate this individual. If you find it, you can share with us where this person is.
The mind will give us an image of this body being an individual but then when we ask ‘Are you sure that all you constitute is the sum of all the food you’ve eaten, that’s all that you’re made up of, the food that is stored here; that’s all you are?’ Then immediately something says here ‘No, no. I cannot be that’. Isn’t it? Then the mind can paint some other pictures for us, it can say ‘I am the Atma, I am this soul, I am Consciousness’. But for most Beings, that is just at a conceptual level, and we use these labels to stop ourselves from inquiring further. In this way, those labels are nothing more than another form of denial itself. It is another form of saying that ‘I don’t want to look’ because this is the mind’s fear. Because if the looking happens, then the mind will lose its supremacy. It will offer you some images or some labels to show you that you must be this. That is why the Master asks ‘Who is the one that is looking? Who is the witness of all of this? Who is the witness of every appearance?’
Some of you will say that ‘This body is the witness’. If you’re new in satsang, you might say ‘This body is the witness’ or ‘these senses, the eyes, are the witness’. Then it is asked: ‘So when you close your senses, you close your eyes, then who perceives imaginations, who perceives thoughts; who is the witness aware of all these internal perceptions? Who uses the instrument of all of these senses? Who uses the body as an instrument?’
Then many of you, first time in satsang, will say ‘I am inside’. We still carry this concept ‘I am inside’. Where inside? Inside the body. We feel we are inside the body. Then when asked ‘What is your location inside the body?’ you find that it is just another concept. Like when we have a body in the dream, are we inside the dream body? While inside the dream, we might say that ‘I am inside the dream body’ but once the dream is over it is seen that ‘I was never inside the dream body, the whole dream was inside me. This whole creation is inside me. It does not exist without me, but I exist without it’. This whole universe is inside you. Then how can you fear this appearance which arises within you? What fear can you have now?
This fear can arise only when we have created a special relationship with part of the appearance. I create a special relationship with this body which appears, and I say ‘This is me’. It now has the ability to make us suffer. We create a special relationship with another appearance in front of us, and that appearance, that Being, seems to have the potential to make us suffer. All attachments
we make special relationships with are just appearances, and we give them the power to cause our own suffering.
As what do we do all of this? As Consciousness itself. There is no doer except Consciousness itself, so as Consciousness itself, we create this game. The forgetting and the coming back home is both part of the game, which we seem to have decided to play. Therefore, when we make something out of nothing, it becomes troublesome for us. When we give meaning to what is appearing, we give it the potential to trouble us. Now, if you were to withdraw all meaning from everything and just be, then what can trouble you? What can trouble you now, if you have withdrawn all meaning from appearances?
Don’t resist any thought that comes, because it will continue to play on your mind like this. If you fight it, it will resist and will come back again and again. You be completely open to this thought, make full room for it, and then you will see that it has no power over you. It will not stay if you do not resist. And don’t not resist with the expectation that it will go away. Just be completely neutral to it. If it is arising for you, let it arise; it will also soon pass unless we judge it in some way, or we say that it should not be there, or we say that ‘I hope it never leaves’. Many people get attracted to joyful states of being in satsang, and they say ‘Okay, I’m in this state of bliss or joy or peace and I want it to never leave’. In creating this condition, then it is found that the experience also does not stay. We are not to fear any state at all.
We are the state-less ones; all states can arise. We are the state-less ‘One’ actually. All states can arise within us. Don’t have any conditions for your freedom. No preconditions, nothing should happen to convince you that you are free.
When the mind does not have any power over us anymore, then this concept of being a separate individual cannot perpetuate. It cannot stay. In this, there is freedom. This is freedom. It’s a simple freedom from a false idea. The freedom is only from the false idea of being a separate individual. So do not feel that freedom means that the appearance of thoughts will stop. There will be no concern about whether there are thoughts are not. That is freedom.
There is still interest in this battle.
Let the battle go on. There is a witnessing of this battle. Are you closer to the content of the battle, or are you closer to the witnessing of the battle? You must look and see. Don’t give me an answer from the mind, just look and see. There is a battle that is being perceived; many emotions or thoughts, and there is conflict there, but that is being perceived, and there is a witnessing of it. Are you closer to the witnessing of it, or to the content of the battle?
Don’t get into a war with any thought whatsoever. Don’t resist any thought whatsoever. You are the Infinite One; You don’t need to defend or resist anything at all. All is in service to You. You will come to this understanding that even experiences like this are in service to You, because you experience your true nature by transcending all of these experiences.
All these phenomenon, all that can perceived, is all from this. The only non-phenomenal perceiving you can have is Awareness aware of Awareness itself. It is very simple. Don’t give
this to your mind, because your mind will not fathom this. If I were to say ‘Are you aware right now?’ you would say yes. That means there is an awareness of Awareness, that’s all. That is the only non-phenomenal perceiving that can happen. The pure perceiving of Awareness Witnessing Itself. Everything else is the result of Consciousness ‘I Am’ and it arises from this energy itself.
This is your natural state, though it all happens anyway. All is allowed to happen, but nothing really happens to You. That’s the point, isn’t it? So, all can be allowed to happen but nothing can even touch You or come close to You. In what way is the Awareness of phenomenon affected by the content of the phenomenon? Let me repeat that: In what way is the Awareness of phenomenon affected by the content of the phenomenon? It can never be affected.
So, the message for today is, let Shiva dance his dance, let Lord Nataraj play this dance, let it do the dance of creation / dissolution. All of this it can do, but I am only the Witnessing of this dance. I am only ever the Awareness of this play. The leela, the maya, the world cannot touch me. It is not possible in the reality even with my permission. Just like energy cannot be created or destroyed, I Am the source of this energy, therefore I cannot be touched by any event. All appearances are made up of Consciousness, and Consciousness in turn is made up of Me. How can you hurt space? I am the witnessing of even this physical space. So if my creations cannot be hurt, if they cannot be even created or destroyed by the world, then how can the world touch Me?
A new type of love
Many of you are now experiencing a new type of love. A new type of love is growing; the love for the Master, the love for a Guru. This love is the Prasad [gracious gift] of satsang. It is actually your own Satguru’s love for you. All it takes is a little bit of willingness to drop the hand of the mind, to drop the hand of the ego, and to take the finger of the Master. That is all that is required. Consciousness is making sure that this game goes on continuously in this way. You are the ultimate player of this game, so you must now enjoy it. All of this is a gift that You have given yourself.
Truth doesn’t need reinforcement
The false needs belief in thoughts. The truth does not need any reinforcement; does not rely on any thought whatsoever. But to keep up the belief in something that is false, you need to keep reinforcing it. Just in the same way, we have repeated these thoughts, we have believed these thoughts, to try and create truths out of something which is inherently false. But we cannot succeed. All of this is made up of Consciousness, and Consciousness in turn is made up of Awareness alone. In that way it can be said that all is Awareness itself. That is why this is Advaita: ‘not two’. All is Awareness itself.
Therefore the answer to the question of ‘Who is this dance for?’ is it is Awareness being with Awareness, Consciousness being with Consciousness. Both are ultimately the same. Just because you have to use words, and this is pointing toward what is true; that there seems to be a qualitative difference between the pure Seeing-ness and the pure Beingness.
The pure Seeing-ness is Awareness, and the pure Beingness is Consciousness.
Completely fearless
So now all of us can be completely fearless about what appearances can come, or not come, in our lives. Be completely fearless about what can appear or not appear. And if there are still glimpses of fear, then use that as part of your own self-inquiry. Ask yourself: ‘Who is still fearing those experiences?’ All that appears now can be used to just go deeper into the truer understanding of your own Self. Soon you will be grateful for any appearance that seems to have some bite or some juice. If it comes, then say ‘Wow. This is still here’. Then we look at it, and it fades away, and you have transcended it.
For many lifetimes, for many, many years we have been repressing things, fearing things; we have been pushing them inside, and they have not been dealt with. Now we are being completely fearless about whatever needs to be dealt with. It can arise, and holding my hand, we will transcend it together.
As What Are You the Experiencer?
We can look at doership because it can be one of the more sticky concepts and it’s very important to look at it. So what we must answer for ourselves first is: ‘As what am I a doer?’ Let’s look at this concept; and the most important part of it is that ‘I am a doer, I am doing these actions’. Therefore first we must understand ‘As what are you the doer?’
You say that the concept of doership still remains. Who is the doer? As what must I be the doer? Am I the doer as the body? Is the body making decision to do action? Let’s go step by step. Is it the body that makes the decision? Is it the body that is the doer? Is it the body’s volition to make the choice? Or is the body just an instrument? Let’s find this doer today.
Who is breathing? The body itself is not the one who decides to breathe. The body is used as an instrument of breath. Organs of the body are used to inhale and exhale, but the body has no way in which to decide whether to breathe or not. When the last breath is here, in spite of all the body’s willingness, it will not be able to pull out one extra breath. When the last breath is out, even if the body would be able to, it cannot decide to take one extra breath.
Let’s look at what else is there. So we said if the body is not the doer, then what else is there? Let’s look at whether the mind is the doer. What is mind? Mind is only this bundle of thoughts and similar energies like imagination, like memories; all of these energy-constructs put together is called the mind. How can a bundle of these energies, (bundle of thoughts, bundle of imaginations, bundle of memories), do anything at all? Therefore we have now seen that the body is not the doer and the mind is not the doer.
Can a false idea (or even any idea, since all ideas are ultimately false); can any idea do anything at all? In which way can an idea do something? In what way is the mind a decision maker? It is just giving you these signals called thoughts, but how does it decide to do anything at all?
When looked at in this way, it is completely seen that the idea that an idea could do something is completely preposterous, isn’t it? This is another idea, isn’t it? It is this which is at the root of doership, which is an idea that there is an idea that ‘I as an individual idea can do something at all. I have an idea for something, and then I have the idea that this idea can do something. First I have an idea that I am something, and then I believe this idea, that this something can do something’. Yes? So an idea is not even phenomenally real, therefore it has no power to do something, correct?
What is meant by ‘functional’ mind?
So the functional mind only means, if somebody asks us a question now, ‘When is the next satsang?’ then I refer back to my memory and say ‘Yes, we announced it for this date’. Memory. That is okay as a functional mind. But I do not rely on it for any psychological purposes. I do not rely on it to solve any of my inter-personal relationships or how I should lead my life, because it has no idea about these things. So ultimately, if there is no sense of personhood here, completely no sense of personhood here, then all of this is also seen to be just a play of Consciousness. But even while there is a sense of personhood here, like the Master says that if you are in a bus and
somebody picks your pocket, you will want to grab his hand. You will not say ‘It’s just a play of Consciousness, let it be’.
Discerning Intuition
While the sense of personhood is there, then we can rely on the guidance of this intuition; the guidance of this intuition, which is coming from the pure sense ‘I Am’ itself, or from the Heart itself. How do we differentiate between what is coming from the mind and coming from intuition? It is that intuition is accompanied by love, peace and joy. That is why the words in satsang work, because they are accompanied by the Presence. But from the mind, it is only accompanied by need or desire or wanting to defend or wanting to attack something.
In the Presence of the pure Consciousness-I-Am all these activities seem to take place. Before the birth of this Consciousness-I-Am there is no doing happening, there is no activity at all. We see that the body is not the doer, and the mind cannot be the doer, and prior to the mind there is only this pure Consciousness. In the light of this pure Consciousness, all this play seems to go on. This whole movie is just a play of this light itself, just modulations of this light itself. It is projected on this light itself. So Consciousness is the light as well as the screen. Therefore it is said that Consciousness or God is the one doer.
No other suspects left. The usual suspects have been seen to be only ideas. The idea that I or you as an individual, as a doer of anything, is now dissolved. All things only happen when Consciousness is here, therefore it is said that they only happen in the light of Consciousness itself. Is this clear for everyone?
The idea ‘God is doing this to me’
If this is clear for everyone I want to look at something else which is as important as this. It is another deep concept. It’s very important that we look at this, because many of us leave satsang with this concept that ‘It’s all God; God is doing this to me. God is doing this to me!’ This is only a half-truth.
So let’s look at this concept: ‘Who is the experiencer?’ Let’s look at the concept of the experiencer. So we have looked at the doer concept but we still believe that ‘I, as an individual, am the experiencer’.
This is a bit of strong medicine but we must look at it now. If there is no person, who is a doer then which person is the experiencer? The mind will always throw this kind of fear at you that ‘If there is no doer does that mean I can go around killing people, or can I lie in bed all day and not do any work?’ All of this it will throw at you. It will even say ‘You could be the next big terrorist, you could become the next big Hitler’. You know? This is just a way of dissolving blame. None of this will happen when you are just flowing with Presence itself. It is just not possible. This is just another trick of the mind to take you away from the truth.
That is why it is very important to look at the concept of experiencer as well. Many of us have this concept that ‘God is doing it to me’ or ‘The Guru is doing it to me’ and ‘The Guru is making
my life better’ or ‘God is making my life better’. If the Guru is the doer, then the Guru is also the experiencer. If God is the doer, then God is also the experiencer. He is only playing with himself as himself. Now that we have seen that there is no individual entity here anyway. So who is the experiencer of all the doing now?
The body is experiencing the pain.
When the body is in pain, who is experiencing the pain? Find out this one. The mind gives you a terrible thought and your attention goes to the thought. Who experiences this thought? Who perceives this thought?
No, the body is not experiencing the pain. The pain arises, seems to arise in this body but the body does not say that it is; the body hands it over. It’s like a signal that comes to you; the signal of pain when we say ‘I am experiencing a lot of pain in my body’. Something happens to the body and you feel the experience of pain. In deep sleep you do not experience any pain, isn’t it?
Just for the sake of discussion, let’s say that Awareness is the pure Seeing, a pure knowing; and Consciousness is the pure Being. So when pain arises it can arise only in the presence of this pure Being. Can there be any pain without the pure Being? Therefore it can be said that it is the Being which experiences all of this. The awareness of this experience of being is still Awareness itself. Awareness is untouched and unmoved completely; only the Consciousness is playing in this way.
So, even if the body is experiencing physical pain, this is only thought?
Yes. It is only one energy, isn’t it? The energy of Consciousness which is thought, which is pain, which is body, which is objects, which is atoms, which is universes? All of this is just one lump of energy called Consciousness, Beingness, God. So the body experiencing physical pain is also an experience of Consciousness itself. For anything to exist phenomenally we’re now seeing that the presence of ‘I Am’ is required. ‘I Am’ is the first phenomenal appearance, or like we said, ‘I Am’ is the Immaculate Conception. It comes from, is born from, a non-phenomenon of Awareness. That must be the meaning of Immaculate Conception.
Is fear in itself a decision? Can I stop fear if it arises or should I just observe it?
There is no individual decision, fear or otherwise. There is no individual decision, all is just appearances arising. That’s why Bhagavan [Ramana Maharshi] said that if you feel that there is a choice, the choice must be to ignore your thoughts or to let go of your thoughts. When it is clear that there is no choice anyway, then all will be seen as grace. So as long as there is belief in a personal choice, you make the choice to let go of your thoughts; don’t make any other choice. Let everything else unfold on its own. As long as there is belief in an individual choice, refuse to make any other choices. Let everything unfold on its own, but you choose to let go of your thoughts. Once it is seen that there was never a choice anyway, then all will be seen to have been grace.
It is said in the scriptures ‘Tvam kartah, tvam buaktah’ which means ‘You are the doer and you are the experiencer’. That is full surrender. Half-surrender is that God is the doer yet I am the experiencer, or I am the doer but I am not responsible for my actions. You cannot make these connotations or half-surrenders, because we are now complete surrender. All of these phenomenon need the sense ‘I Am’ to exist; therefore it is all just a play of Consciousness itself.
Consciousness is interested in content but pure Awareness is not?
Yes, it can be said like that. But the whole play of Consciousness can be said to be for Awareness itself, because ultimately Consciousness comes from Awareness itself.
Consciousness is taking care of the basics of life
The one that cannot be destroyed does not have to bother about what is in our best interest or not. Suppose you’re wearing an invincible armor. God gave you a gift, and he said ‘You have this invincible armor’. Then would you be scared of where you must go? You would be completely fearless. In the same way, the concept of taking care of basic life is irrelevant, because it cannot be created or destroyed by anything that happens here. It is completely untouched. Beingness cannot be touched by anything that happens here. No event here can touch Beingness. Therefore, what is the meaning of taking care? Taking care can only mean that once we made the decision to come home, then all events, all ideas can be used as gateways or doorways to look at what our true reality is. All that is repressed comes up, shows up for us to transcend it. In that way it can be said to be taking care; but not taking care in a defensive sort of way. There is nothing to defend here. There is nothing to take care of in that sense.
We must lose this concept that Consciousness is taking care from a personal perspective. That ‘Consciousness is taking care of my life from a personal perspective’ is still an idea that draws us to the ego, and makes us bound to this idea of a separate individual. Once it is seen that there is nothing here that can be hurt, then everything is seen as pure play, as pure grace.
Is the choice of letting go not arrived at through seeing?
This Seeing that we are speaking of cannot be stopped anyway. This Seeing is not a choice anyway. This pure Awareness is here, so you’re seeing that a thought appears, and it can be let go of. That simple seeing is enough. You won’t have the response time to say ‘Okay, the thought it appearing’ and then say ‘Okay, but I’m not a person, therefore this thought is only…’ You won’t have time to come to a mental conclusion about it. So, therefore what you are calling ‘seeing’ is coming to a mental conclusion that ‘I am not a person’ and responding to every thought. If this is the way you want to do it, then the thoughts will come so fast that quickly you will want to get confused in this personhood again. What we are saying is very simple. In the pure Awareness arises this energetic thought, and it can be let go of without any belief, without any engagement.
I have a fear-based attachment to my physical existence. Feels like a task to me.
So if there’s a strong emotion or a fear, then just let it be, and just be aware of it. That is actually letting go. Because you’re not resisting it. You’re not pushing it away. You’re just letting it be. So in this way, what you say is fine; just let go of all thoughts which are trying to interpret this fear. The emotion of fear is here, but the thought is what is troublesome, isn’t it? ‘Why is this fear coming to me? Why is it happening?’ All of those thoughts are let go of, and you’re simply the Presence of even this appearance
Satsang is more about Presence than words
Sometimes I feel to say that the words are just an excuse for us here; that satsang is not in the words, but in the Presence itself. In the openness that you have, the Presence which is here transmits itself and it dissolves the mind which is here. In this way, Consciousness plays in the form of satsang. Satsang is more about Presence than it is about the words. Even if there is a little bit of openness in anyone, even if they are coming for the first time, there will be a sensing of this Presence; there will be a tasting of this honey.
There is nothing for the mind in satsang. If it was just for the words, then nobody would ever want to come back to satsang. No words are true. Remember that, no words are true. The intellect will come in in the middle and say ‘But this is not right; this is something else’ and all of that. But it is true that it cannot be consistent because all words are a pointing to that which cannot be expressed verbally. Therefore, sometimes the Master will say ‘Don’t do anything at all’. Sometimes the Master will say ‘You must only do self-inquiry’. Sometimes the Master will say even things like ‘You must constantly surrender’. No? It is not that the Master does not understand that these words don’t make sense, but there is a reason why these words must be appearing; because they serve as some sort of dissolving for the mind, and that’s why they must be expressed in this way.
The real point is to be in the Presence of satsang. So don’t get lost in trying to become the ‘fact checkers’. [Laughs] Because no fact, no words, no matter how beautiful they sound, are ultimately true. Nisargadatta Maharaj used to say ‘The only truth that can be said is that I Am, but ultimately it is seen that even that is not true’. There are some words which are useful pointings, in dissolving the ego, and basically they carry the Presence with them. They sound like honey.
Sometimes even the angry words of the Master will only sound like honey. That is why it is said that it is not really in the words. That is why in satsang we always say don’t try to solve it with your mind. The mind cannot fathom the truth that is spoken here. I cannot manufacture the words which are true; it is not possible to convey truth in words. But the words which are arising from here are dipped in that holy Presence; that much I can say with full conviction. The words which are arising from here are dipped in the holy Presence, and that is why it is good to be in satsang. But don’t try to find truth in words. They are just pointers that are guiding you along the way. They are just markers along the road saying ‘Go this way now, go this way now’. Where are they pointing you towards? Your own true Self which is ever-present.
You are Already The Self
So if there were only one set of words that I would want to tell you, it would be that:
You Are Already That. You are the Self.
And if you were to accept just these words, then no other words would be required.
You are the Self. That is it.
But because there doesn’t seem to be complete acceptance of these words, or there seems to be a play of wanting to speak some other words, that’s why other words bring you to a point where you’re ready to accept these words that:
You are the Supreme itself.
Therefore, no words in satsang are true; no words in any of the scriptures are true; no words that any Master has ever spoken is the truth. But follow them, because in these words you will find a deeper Presence, and it will lead you to where you have always been.
It is wonderful that all of you can resonate with this, because what I said cannot be understood by the mind at all. So in that way, the mind-bypass is succeeding and we are having a true communion here. Deeper than communication, we are having a true communion.
Get to the Root of It
The ego seems like it’s an allergy. The ego is an allergy. And what is it allergic to? It’s allergic to life. That’s why it tries to resist life. It resists the content of life. And what do we try to do? What we try and do is make sure that the content of life changes so the allergy does not act up. We don’t get to the root of the allergy and cure the allergy itself. We try to ensure that the symptoms of the allergy don’t appear because of the content of life itself. Our attempt is to try and fix up the content of life, so that we don’t have this allergic reaction. But it is allergic to life itself. Its job is to resist life. Nobody can fix the content of life such that we don’t suffer this allergy. This allergy itself must be removed.
What is most of humanity trying to do? Trying to make sure that the reactions don’t come up by trying to modulate the appearances in life. But is anyone successful in trying to do that? It seems to succeed for a little while and then we feel that it’s gone; we’ll never have that allergic reaction again. But it just gets triggered. Something will happen and the resistance comes, and it gets triggered again. That’s why we try to build a defense around it. We try to build a defense around ourselves so that the content of life does not trigger the suffering because of the belief in the individual identity.
Satsang is there as a cure for this allergy called the ego because it dissolves in this. At the root we’re dissolving it. We’re not trying to sort out the content of your life. In no satsang have we ever actually said ‘How do I make this relationship better, or how can I get more money in the bank?’ There are no specific prescriptions here to just control the symptoms. We’re not trying to control the symptoms at all. We are trying to uproot the infection, the allergy itself, because the doctor knows that is the only solution. All other solutions are just temporary.
So in our lineage we want to make sure that the disease goes completely, then the patient is free to come back on their own joy. But if it were up to us we would not want this infection to continue for even a minute. In Advaita it’s very popular to say that ‘Even the suffering is allowed’ and ‘I am not afraid of my suffering’ and ‘Suffering still continues, I suffer every day, but I am completely awakened’. All these kind of funny things are said. But that is not the point of this satsang. The point of this satsang is to completely dissolve the idea of a separate existence; and with the dissolution of this idea suffering cannot continue. It can come up momentarily, it can be a prick momentarily, for a few minutes at times rarely, but it cannot perpetuate. While it still perpetuates, it’s important to keep coming to satsang.
Many Beings come to satsang and feel very nice, feel much better, blissful or whatever, and then go away for months; and then suffering happens again, then they come back to satsang. That way it’s just used as a band aid. When injury comes we put it on, when injury heals we go back. So not getting to the root of it, the allergy is not being removed. They are just using it as a painkiller or a band aid. This is the trick of the mind. ‘Now I’m happy, I’m blissful; let me go out’. You go out and then the ego is still there and you suffer, and then you come back. That is the meaning of using satsang as a painkiller or a band aid.
Free yourself from the allergy completely. Then it’s okay; it’s completely up to you whether you want to be in satsang or not. But don’t play the suffering game; when you’re suffering you come
to satsang, then you go out and play again, then you suffer again and you come back after a few months. Why don’t you just finish it off by being in satsang for a while? Then if it’s a joy you can be in satsang, or if you find there is no meaning in satsang any more, then nobody is forcing.
It is okay to use suffering as a motivation to realize the truth?
Yes, it is perfectly okay, because that seems to be the most common motivation, isn’t it? For the rare one, one that is spontaneous; and some other rare ones, it’s like an intellectual pursuit. But for most Beings it is from this suffering that we want to escape. So, it is completely fine, completely fine. There are a very few for whom it is just automatic, that like a child it will just unfold. There are some for whom it is just a scientific inquiry because of curiosity or something. But for most, even the scientific inquiry, for most it starts off wanting to be free from this suffering itself. That is the way it is designed. In fact, that is why Mooji says ‘Suffering is God’s alarm clock’.
Don’t leave satsang till the allergy is completely gone. Satsang does not mean just being here. Satsang means the Presence of the Guru itself. Like this very beautiful video of Papaji [Poonja] where someone says ‘Papaji, when I’m at your feet, then nothing; it’s all pure bliss, no suffering. But when I leave, when I go to the market, then all these things happen; suffering comes, pain comes, all this happens’.
Papaji gives a very beautiful answer that had a huge impact when I was looking at it. He said ‘Why, then, do you leave? Why do you leave the feet of the Master?’ What is the meaning of leaving the feet of the Master? It means ‘Why do you leave the Presence?’ We leave the Presence because we feel that something in the world still has some deep meaning for us. Nobody is saying don’t play with the world. You can play with the world; but the minute we give some meaning, or some psychological or emotional power to the world, then it will whack us. Therefore Papaji’s answer was ‘Why do you leave the feet of the Master?’ If you don’t leave the feet of the Master, then how is it possible to suffer?
The temporary nature of suffering
‘This too shall pass’. The instant that it is recognized that it is an appearance, ‘This too shall pass’. Only appearances can come and go. So the minute we said ‘This too shall pass’ we have taken the meaning away from it, and we have called it only an appearance. In that beautiful phrase, just this one line ‘This too shall pass’ then most of the suffering has been wiped away.
I have the feeling that this seeing is so powerful, it will make me disappear completely.
You already know that it’s not the authentic voice that is saying all this; stuff like ‘Truth is too great, it is too much’. It is not too much for you. What is truth? The truth is that you are here, you are ever-present, you are aware. You cannot be harmed, and the world is a set of appearances. There nothing mystical about it, nothing esoteric about it. Still nothing ultimately great about it. It is just a natural thing, it’s a natural statement that ‘I am ever-present, I am here.’ It is the simplest thing. Don’t believe the mind’s imagery about it. It is the most natural, it is the most plain. Even a child knows it. It is that simple. The mind will do all of these tricks because it can
feel the handing over of power now. It is losing its power, so it will play all its trump cards that it has been holding on to; but you let go of them.
The seeing is always the seeing. It’s always the same seeing. The same Awareness has always been here. It’s very, very simple, pure, innocent. Nothing to be afraid of at all. You are aware that in this moment you are aware. That is it. This is awareness of Awareness.
When you say ‘Stay as the Self’ what do you mean? Stay silent?
Very good question. When I say ‘Stay as the Self’ it means just to let go of our thoughts. Let go of the mind energy, don’t give any belief to it. That is the simplest way to stay as the Self. We don’t even need to get into details of what happens with our belief and attention when withdrawn from the thought, because our mind will create another expectation out of it. Then it will say ‘This is happening, or this is not happening’. So I just want to say, when you let go of your thoughts, you will find very beautifully that your own realization and understanding of who you are will unfold. It’s only an unfolding or a realization of what you have always been. That’s the most shocking part to the mind about realization, isn’t it? That we have always been This. It is not that new energy comes and I transform myself into this. I just see what I have always been.
Mind seems to be trying to pretend to be Awareness, but it is seen in Awareness.
You can see these tricks? Which is enough. You’re being aware of this; that is the true Awareness. The mind can pretend and create all sort of images. For many Beings it creates a vast blank space as an image, no? When we think of awareness, we think ‘Oh, it’s this vast, blank space.’ Even that is an image. That’s not Awareness. There’s a seeing of even this image. So that image must be discarded. Awareness cannot be described in words or images. It’s good that you bring up this point. Don’t bring any attention, or start believing any paintings or images about what Awareness is or Beingness is. A mental image is not the truth. Just let that go as well.
To be free from suffering is the ultimate miracle
Life seems to unfold in a magical way when the realization is there. Life is unfolding in a magical way only. It’s just when that distance is there, we can see the magic, or we perceive it to be magic. But when we do it from the sense of a person, then the magic is lost. There’s a sense that ‘I am doing this’ or ‘I am not doing this’ then the magic seems to get lost, but actually it is always that the magic is there. It is always the play of Consciousness itself.
Everybody is enlightened actually. They’re just pretending to play this game of ‘person-person’. So all that happens is we stop pretending to play to ‘person-person’.
But if that means that something special should happen to be enlightened, which means that enlightenment means all this walking on water, and turning water into wine and all of this, then this is the wrong satsang for that. There are none of those tricks to be done here. But the fact is that the bigger miracle, if there is a miracle, is to be free from this idea of individuality. To be free from suffering is the ultimate miracle.
Chapter 4
Are You Aware Now?
No Resistance Means No Suffering
Who is feeling allergic to life today? Who is feeling resistance? I read somewhere many years ago that all allergies are psychosomatic. Including this one; it’s just another belief, isn’t it? Also the ego is completely psychosomatic.
The minute that distance is there, and it is seen that it is nothing at all, then we can no longer call it resistance also. It’s just some energetic movement that is happening. And the body might be reacting, or the senses might be reacting, but we cannot even call it resistance anymore because our engagement is not there with it.
In the waking state, all that is happening can never stop; only we can stop. How to stop totally? How to stop totally is to just keep surrendering every minute. Just keep letting go; keep letting go of the thoughts. It’s that simple. You are stopped now if you are not believing a thought. Nothing else needs to be done. Be in the neutral state; be in the natural state. Right now, you can stop or not?
What is moving right now? What is actually moving? Stopping must mean that it is seen that nothing can actually move. I cannot actually move. Just like surrendering means to know that we are all surrendered anyway. The same way, stopping would mean seeing that I cannot move at all. The mind is moving, all other appearances can move, all of this arising and dissolving can keep happening, but is the witness of it moving at all? It’s like when we are standing on the side of the road, all the cars are moving, but are we moving along with the cars? Only our attention is going with them, no? But actually are we moving? No.
It’s like Mooji takes this very beautiful example. He says that when you’re a new driver and then suddenly there is a lot of rain, you put the wipers on and they attract your attention. They go like this [motions side to side], you follow them. And then your instructor can tell you ‘Keep your eyes only on the road. Keep your eyes only on the road’. For some time it happens, again the wipers on [motions side to side] and our attention moves. In this way initially, it does seem like attention is going back and forth, and person-hood is coming back for a while. But now the Master is saying ‘Let go of this movement, let it happen on its own, you just be the Self. Don’t give your attention to the transient ones’. Then automatically you are only just aware of your own Self.
There is nobody else, there is only You. We must not be worrying about the journey that anyone is taking, or the story of their lives. We must not let this become a story for us. Because the story is always from the mind. All this dancing of what is happening around you; we must see whether there was some juice in it for you personally, and that juice was then accepted and bought. Or was it just seen to be only this impersonal dance of the world appearance going on, and you were resting in that state of oneness? And the dance can be through our own body, our own actions, but there is an impersonal witnessing of all of this irrespective of what the content of the experience is.
You will never come back to the material world because you never were a part of it any way. Just like you can never actually enter the mirror, go inside the mirror and see how things are there. In the same way this material world is just a reflection. It has no reality of its own. It is only our attention and belief that make it seem real. Therefore if your fear is whether you can actually go to the material world, then I can tell you clearly that it can never happen. It has never happened actually. We were always looking at this reflection. But when we believe it to be real, that is when we have this false idea; and this false idea cannot continue. This is grace, isn’t it? If you were to continue to believe in this false idea then this delusion would last forever, and that is why suffering is grace.
Don’t be scared of suffering. I always say that if there is some arrogance here, if there is something still to be seen, if suffering has to come, let it come to me all now. This is my prayer: ‘Let it come to me all now. I want to face it now and get over all my delusions. I know I am completely always in the lap of the Guru and nothing real can be affected so there is no fear of any suffering. I know that is also grace and it will also point me to something which has not been seen’.
There is no resistance to suffering, no fear of suffering. In fact there is an open invitation every moment: ‘If there is arrogance here, if there is delusion here, suffering please come, so that I may see it; so that I may get pinched and I give it that attention’. Do not be fearful of suffering at all. It is God itself who is playing in this way. Drop all fear about any suffering.
Let everything come. Let’s see what can touch us. Be completely open; not from the space of any arrogance, not from the belief that ‘I am now spiritual, that’s why’. Just as this pure openness to anything that might arise. Let it all come.
I would say that satsang is a mind-bypass. We’re not trying to replace an old conditioning with a new conditioning. We’re just bypassing the entire conditioning and reaching your true Being and true Self.
Consciousness and Relationships
We do not need to rely on personhood for any relationship. We do not need to rely on going back to personhood for any relationship. What you might see happening is that automatically the relationships are being played out in this great unfolding; but for that, a belief in our own personhood is not required. We can look at: ‘Which are the relationships in which I refer back to my idea of being an individual, and operate from there?’ They could be the more special relationships or the most mundane ones. And as long as we believe that we have to operate in this relationship from a personal level, then this relationship will keep us bound to the ego.
Just know that Consciousness has no trouble dealing with that relationship. There is no relationship that requires your personal involvement. And there is no sacrifice in this. The most beautiful Presence, which is what you are, does not need the crutches of the ego to perform in any relationship. If it is an authentic relationship, then why would it need us to put on a persona in the first place?
Let the world experience your true Presence. Don’t shy away from the world experiencing your true Presence. Without any pretense or proclamations, bless them with your own being. But don’t confuse them with your stories; there is already too much confusion.
You do not need anything from the world. The world cannot give you anything, even if it tried. The flesh and the paper and the plastic; all that it offers you will not last. Don’t chase any of it. Nothing can add to your glory. You are the supreme one. Whatever needs are here are the needs of a ghost; it does not exist. Let go of all desire and aversion, let everything unfold on its own. Expose, at least in your own seeing, the sticky beliefs that are still being carried. In the light of your own seeing, they will dissolve. Drop all concepts of being a victim or being special. You cannot be wronged; you cannot be attacked; you cannot be hurt. Stop believing in an idea about yourself.
Be the Self that does not need any belief. Identify the one that does not require your belief; the one that is ever-present. This Beingness which you can’t switch off, this is your own Atma. Your own Being is at no distance from you. Where would you go to look for it? Where do you find that which has no distance from you? This pure Presence needs no seeking. When the hypnosis of your own thoughts are broken, you are only bathing in this pure Presence, and maya loses all power over you. This is the tasting of amrit or the nectar of immortality. This is the most pristine experience. And yet you cannot call it special because it is always available. All Beings are this; therefore they are one Being.
Let go of your thoughts and taste this nectar of immortality. It does not matter what happened before this moment, it is all a distant dream now. This moment is fresh. You have no past, you have no future. The one that has a past and future is not real. Where is the past now? Is it not just in your own imagination? How do you know that memory is memory, and not just another imagination?
Nothing is your problem now
Nothing has ever happened to you. Everything happens only to the idea of you. Drop this idea. Don’t identify with anything at all. Be completely empty. Completely empty. Don’t even try to understand anything; just give up right now. Give up everything right now. This giving up is only a giving up of your ideas. The life is going to play out in exactly the way it is going to play out. There is nothing you can do about it. Give up the idea of control. Also give up the idea of a person with no control. Both control and no control are ideas. Because there is no individual here anyway. Who would control or not control? Give up the idea that you have understood and that you have not understood.
Ask a question which does not refer to yourself as a person. Make a statement which does not refer to yourself as a person. Speak as Consciousness. Speak as Awareness. Hand over all actions and experiencing to the Divine. Nothing is your problem now.
What words can be spoken as Awareness?
Silence
This is silence. Silence means the state of non-resistance; the surrendered state. The outward silence is only a tool to get you to this inner silence. To say that this silence is pristine would be to understate it. Once you have tasted your own Being, no other taste can compare. And this taste of pure Presence is always available. This is why the great poet Kabir-ji would have said that ‘We are thirsty as fish inside water’. We are thirsty as fish inside water. This makes me laugh. This taste of pure Presence is always available and it is incomparable with any other experience; and yet we thirst for something outside us.
Just be open to Presence
Don’t know anything at all. Don’t know what we are talking about and don’t know anything about what happened in the past. For just a few moments, forget about it. Don’t try to understand anything at all. Just be open to the words and to the Presence without any effort, with no resistance. Give up trying to understand anything. Just be completely open and don’t come to any conclusions. Don’t expect anything to happen. The highs and lows don’t matter to what you really are. Give up all seeking and don’t believe any mental energy. You are actually working hard to create a person; all effort is effort towards creating a person. Give up everything. And without referring to a thought, see what remains now. Right here in the present moment, what is here now? What is right here right now?
Holding on and can’t seem to let go?
Don’t believe this idea. It is just another idea. The instant you have seen the holding on, in that instant it is let go. You say ‘I see that I am holding on’. What does this ‘I’ look like? This ‘I’ that is holding on, you say you can see it. What does it look like? Is it just another figment of our imagination? What is real about it? What is real about this ‘I’ that is holding on? Nothing is holding on, nothing can hold on. It’s all just imagined.
Can we see the one who we think is holding on? What does it look like, where does it stay? Look at it. How much hair does it have on its head? It’s a thought believed in. The instant it is seen that it is a thought, it is not believed in. We gave it some reality, but once it is seen it is a thought, then it cannot be believed in.
Wanting to stop everything, to just be quiet and still
We do not need to renounce anything. If there is something to be renounced, it is this mind itself. The only thing that needs to be renounced is our own thoughts. Then you will only watch how life is unfolding, whether work continues or does not continue, whether something else happens or does not happen. As long as we have renounced our mental interpretation of life nothing can bother us. Because we have no needs actually. And whatever basic needs are there of the body, can easily be supplied. Consciousness supplies all of this for the basic needs of the body very easily. It is only our ‘greeds’ which get us in trouble. It is not our needs but our greed which makes us suffer.
Special Relationships
Let’s look today at the myth of another person hurting us; another Being hurting us. It’s a common belief, yet completely inaccurate to believe that because another person is egoistic, he or she hurts us. Because without our own individual belief that we are a separate entity, we cannot be hurt by another ego.
Ultimately it is the same idea of separation which seems to be appearing in front of us in another Being, and that which seems to be inside us as well. It is not a different idea. That’s why Mooji says ‘It’s the same guy’. Therefore unless the ego meets another ego there can be no hurt, there can be no suffering. That is why it is a complete myth to believe that ‘The other Being is very egoistic and that is why I am hurt’. For this hurt to happen, there must be a belief that ‘I am also a separate individual’.
It is pure grace when these kind of situations are encountered. How many of us can look at it as pure grace? Because life will point out what is there for us to see, what is still left for us to transcend. That becomes life’s function now. And in our special relationships we find that if there is still power, which another Being seems to have over us to make us suffer, then there must still be some belief here in the individuality, in the personal existence.
The phrase: ‘The same guy’
Mooji says ‘It’s the same guy’. The ego which is operating there, there, there, there, here: it is the same guy. Just wearing different costumes. It is the same idea of separation itself. It’s the same one who says ‘I have not understood yet’. It is the same one who says ‘Almost there’. It is the same one who says ‘This one is only pretending’. It is the same one who says that ‘I am enlightened and everyone else is not’. It is the same one who has desire; it is the same one who experiences that there is something lacking. All these are this voice of the same guy.
This does not mean that you will not be able to spot the ego when it appears. If it appears in another Being in front of you, just like you can spot something lying on the table which is red in color, it is just seen as an observation. But if the fact that an ego is emerging in another Being is causing some suffering for us, that means there is still some belief in the ego or the separate identity here as well. In this way, it is wonderful that these experiences happen because it shows us what still needs to be transcended. Do not resist these experiences; do not say that ‘This should not happen in my life now’. It is pure grace for even this kind of conflict to arise in our life.
In our special relationships
We seem to have given our special relationships this belief that ‘I can see that everything else is an appearance’ but we seem to believe that our special relationships must be real. There is only one Being, there is only one Awareness. In that way we are one. Therefore it is not the world’s idea of love, which is very forced, which has a lot of effort; that ‘I must love everyone, I must be loving towards everyone’. It seems very tiring from that perspective, when it sounds like something I must do. But once we realize that our true nature is this Beingness, then you can see
that all is appearing from within You itself; and the love is also appearing on its own without any effort.
Therefore we must stop now judgmentally pointing out other egos, because that is only pointing to our own ego. That’s why I said if it appears in front of you, it is just like something lying on the table; or it is the color red which is seen, so it is seen that this is the color red. We’re not going to deny; it is not about denial. But if that appearance of an ego in a loved one in front us is causing some suffering in us, then that is our satsang to ask: ‘Who is suffering still as a result of this appearance of the ego?’ Isn’t it?
If there is no clash between two egos, and the other ego is just operating in your pure Presence and space, then nothing can get hurt, nothing can get affected. Therefore just like we need two hands to clap, in the same way we need two egos to clash and cause suffering in a personal relationship. One ego by itself cannot cause suffering to another Being.
It’s like Mooji takes this example of this lady who comes and she says ‘I can now accept that nothing is real. Everything is unreal, even I am not real as I thought of myself to be. I am not real. But just one thing I cannot accept is that my partner is not real’.
There is so much identity we have invested in our special relationships, in our partners, that this becomes sometimes the last transcendence that happens. There is so much belief that this Being should conform to my idea of how he or she should lead their life because we are in a special relationship with them. And yet when it comes to ourselves, we can very easily now say that ‘I am not the doer. Consciousness is the one doer’. Why do we not apply the same to our special relationships as well?
It is all me, or it is all the same guy; the same ego which is using different instruments. If the message is of separation, it is coming from the ego. If the message is of oneness, genuine true oneness, then it is coming from the same Being; then the Being itself is speaking. But if the message is of need, of separation, of individuality, of personality, then it is all coming from the same guy, which is the ego.
Identity invested in children and motherhood, fatherhood
Some of these special relationships are very primal, no? They’re very, very primal. But even in animals there seems to be this special relationship of parents, of partners. And to escape that sense of identity seems to be the last transcendence.
Just go with the natural flow, the neutral flow, and you will find that parenting will also happen effortlessly. And none of this actually means that we must become docile sheep. This means that whatever is coming from the source in the moment, we just go with that flow, trusting that Consciousness knows what it’s doing. Just not to fall into the mind-hypnosis, and to let the flow of Consciousness go on its own, undisturbed. This means that we are playing every role the right way without any worry about whether we are playing any role or not. This does not mean that mothers or fathers cannot discipline their kids. This does not mean that we cannot behave in a strict way if we must in the moment. It only means that we don’t pay attention or believe in the
idea of separation when we are engaging in any of these relationships. We do not perpetuate the idea of separation.
Protecting our children from harm
Yes, naturally, if all these feelings come that intuitively you must do something to help your children or protect them better, then it is all fine. Just don’t follow a fear-based, mind-based, need-based psychosis. If something needs to be done, a strong feeling will emerge from the heart which will be accompanied by the Presence of love, peace and joy. And you can just follow that natural guidance without having to give in to any fear.
Follow your inner Master, follow the inner Guru; all will be well, all will be taken care of. Just don’t create a mental idea of what ‘well’ means, or what ‘taken care of’ means. Just know that all is grace. All the challenges that our children will also suffer will lead them to their own freedom. In the same way that we are grateful for the challenges that we have had in our life, even our children will be grateful one day for the challenges that they have had in their life. Therefore we must do whatever we can as parents. That is our job. But know that the bigger parent, Consciousness itself, is taking care of the lives of everyone. The one parent is taking care of all existence.
What we judge in others is ‘the same guy’
It’s all the same mistake that we have been doing for so many years and so many lifetimes, which is to give belief to our thoughts. That is the only mistake, to give belief to our thoughts. But we cannot throw stones at another, because we ourselves have done the same thing. And to throw a stone at another would require us to first believe our thoughts as well. Therefore to find another Being guilty, we must be guilty first ourselves.
Throwing exposed beliefs into the holy fire of satsang
It’s very amazing that all of you are able to expose these beliefs that are so strongly ingrained in all of us; that you are able to throw them in the holy fire of satsang itself. It’s very, very good.
What do I do, or what do I have to undo?
Many Beings come to satsang and they say ‘I have now understood what you are saying, I have understood what Mooji is saying and what you are saying, but now tell me ‘What I should do?’ And the answer is that we must inquire: ‘Who is the one who still wants to do something?’
If it is understood that there is no person here, there never was a person here, and all is a flow of Consciousness itself, then who is the personal doer? This imagination of what I have imagined myself to be, that wants to be the doer of actions; it can never do anything at all. It has never done anything at all. It was just an idea, and an idea can never do anything.
Can you look for this one who wants to do something? This one that wants to do something, isn’t it just another idea? Isn’t it part of the same imagination of the person? Is this the question from a
person? Would Consciousness or Awareness ever ask this question? Nobody can find the person who has ever done anything at all. When we inquire and we search, we are unable to find this person who has ever done anything at all. Therefore whose question is this: ‘Who is screaming loudly? Are you the one that is screaming? Or are you the one aware of this screaming?’ That is a good question to ask: ‘Are you the one that is screaming or are you the Awareness of the screaming as well?’
You need not do anything at all to become the Self. There is no such thing as ‘fully melted’ or ‘partly melted’. All of these are just ideas. You can only, only ever be the Self. You are already That. It is only an idea that you must be something else. Let all ideas come and go. You are just the Awareness of all that is appearing and disappearing. Realization of the Self only means that ‘I have always been this. I was only fooling myself, including only fooling myself in the search and the seeking’. It is like we look all over the neighborhood to find something, but it was lying under the bed. You already are the Self.
Don’t wait for a time where some Self-realization event is going to happen. You are not going to become something else, you are always the Self. Any experience that happens, you will be the Awareness of it, you will not be the content of it. Let me repeat that for all of you: Any experience that happens, you will always be the Awareness itself; you can never be the content of it. Don’t confuse yourself to be the content of any experience. Stop presuming yourself to be a person and then you will see that all questions just vanish.
When it still feels as if Awareness is located within the body
There must be something that is seeing or perceiving awareness which seems to be within the body. To say that something is within something, there must be a seeing of it; and this seeing must be outside, isn’t it? Therefore, what you are seeing is an image or an idea of what Awareness is. If it has time and spatial coordinates, it means we have made a mental picture out of what we are.
Therefore, we can let go of all images, all locational ideas about Awareness, and just look and become aware that this Awareness is not operating in this realm at all. It is a purely impersonal seeing, which is not in this world of time and space at all. This seeing is just present, but it is not present within the confines of this illusory world of time and space. Awareness is Awareness whether or not this body exists. It is Awareness in the deep sleep state, and it is Awareness in the dream state (when even the body seems to be completely different from this one).
You know that you are aware. This is awareness of Awareness. It’s very simple. You know that you are aware. This is awareness of Awareness. Because you cannot be unaware. Even if I were to ask you to be unaware; you cannot become unaware. Therefore, this must mean that Awareness is here. Awareness is here. It does not mean that it is here in the confines of this space. It is not in the realm of this time and space, it is just the Awareness itself within which all this time and space is arising.
An idea or a visual or a description can never describe Awareness properly, because it has no attributes. How would we describe something that has no attributes, it has no location, it has no
color, it has nothing at all that can be expressed phenomenally? And yet we know that we are aware.
If all of you can say that you are aware right now, that means that you can say you are aware of your own Awareness. And you will see that you are not separate from this Awareness itself. There is no separation, no distance, from Awareness itself. Awareness of Awareness is the only non-phenomenal experiencing.
It is actually very simple. Everything else has some attributes, but when we say that ‘I am aware’ we are not pointing to any attributes; just a pure awareness.
This idea that ‘Awareness seems to be spatially located inside the body’ must just come from an imagination in the mind. Because there is something which can see this also, that it exists inside the body. Therefore, it is painting a picture of Awareness as being inside the body. But you are the seeing of the picture, not the content of the picture. It is just a realization of our true position which has always been true. All effort to believe anything can be dropped now when we see our true position.
Burn your ideas
All you need to burn is your ideas. All behavior will take care of itself if you have given up your ideas of yourself and of your life. Nothing else needs to be surrendered but your beliefs and concepts. Then you will see that everything is unfolding with a natural beauty. In the most natural way, everything is unfolding. Surrender completely to the Master, to Consciousness. Let it run your life. Don’t decide to do or not do anything at all. Just keep letting go of your thoughts. It is that simple.
The mind will throw all these fears. Like Mooji says, in the light of this seeing, the mind throws everything it can. It calls its cousins and tries to bring you back to its supremacy. But now you have seen through the tricks of the mind. It is a changing over of power from this mental hypnosis to living from the Heart itself.
There are moments when some fear will arise. All this can be released. You keep coming to satsang, and you will find that it will not last. Very easily it will be cleaned up completely.
May the Master’s grace always be with you on this seeming journey back home. May he carry you upon his arms, and may you always have the Presence of peace in your life.
So much love to all of you. Moojiji ki Jai !
Inquiry: Where Do Thoughts Come From?
Let’s look at what the mind is saying. Let’s be completely open to this voice of the mind; be completely open to our next thought. Where does it come from and where does it go?
Wait for the next thought to come, and see where it comes from and where does it go. Look closely for how it appears and disappears.
Where does the thought come from? Is that seen?
Don’t worry if the answer is right or wrong, there is no right or wrong answer. How does it appear to you?
Where does a thought come from?
Not answering from a concept or from intellect; just after seeing. After seeing the next thought, we can answer what we feel, where the thought comes from. Okay, here are some answers [from the sangha]:
“Thoughts are coming from inside, from nothingness and going back to nothingness. I see it.”
“Just appears and disappears from nothing.”
“It comes from emptiness.”
Then, if it comes from this nothing, if it comes from emptiness, then why do we believe that they are ‘my thoughts’? Are we not just the seeing of these thoughts? Did we create these thoughts in any way? Can you create your next thought?
“Nowhere. Don’t know.”
“Emptiness.”
“Emptiness.”
“Never see them, only hear thoughts.”
Even this, when I say ‘seeing’, I am referring to a perceiving of any of this energy. Seeing does not mean a visual seeing necessarily; it is a perceiving of this energy which I am speaking of. For some Beings it seems like it appears visually, for some it is an audio sort of appearance like a voice speaking. All that is okay. But the fact still remains that we are always just a perceiving of these thoughts; we are not the creator of them, not in the personal sense anyway. The person cannot create any thought. Can you try to create your next thought?
“No, I cannot.”
“Silly idea; ‘my thoughts’. I cannot create my next thought.”
“My thoughts seem already there before I become aware of them; so this makes them seem real and believable.”
Yes, that is a seeming; but actually it is your seeing, or your Awareness, which is the light in which they can exist. They cannot exist prior to your awareness of them; nothing can.
When you look at the flow, you will see that there is a moment where there is no thought, and then something appears or is heard. I don’t mean appear in a visual sense necessarily. Something is perceived coming out of nowhere and going back into nothingness.
Many Beings are just scared to look at the flow of their own thoughts, because there is a fear of what the mind will tell us. We are scared of our own mind and that’s why, for these Beings, they have to constantly be distracted by other things; music, television, other forms of entertainment, any distraction, reading a book. They cannot spend even ten or fifteen minutes by themselves because there is a fear of what the mind will say; because the mind will convey thoughts about loneliness, boredom, wanting to do something. This inability to be with our own self in the presence of what the mind is saying, all of this is a fear that we must now get over. For many Beings it is the most torturous thing to be told to sit by themselves in silence. Why? Because they are fearful of what the mind is going to say. Today we will unravel this fear. We are here now; we can let the mind say whatever it wants. Just know that you are not creating this.
“Yes, perceiving comes and goes in emptiness.”
“Sometimes it appears with an image for me, too.”
“It seems to be some kind of play,”
“But the thoughts are about personal experience. Other people will not have the same thoughts that I have.”
For now, we are saying that ‘You are all there is’ actually. Other people are also appearances which are being perceived; they appear and they disappear. Even if there is not an acceptance of this yet, don’t worry. For now, just in this experiment which we are doing today, just stay with this presumption that there is only You. We can never testify to what another Being is experiencing anyway. For us, all this is just an appearance which is appearing as part of the world. In a dream state also there are many Beings which appear that seem to have an independent existence, but ultimately it was understood that it’s all me, it’s all one Consciousness. In the same way, this will also be understood. But don’t force that understanding and don’t believe that ‘I don’t understand something’. Just stay with what we are saying about thoughts.
“Ananta, I can only trust you on this. I can’t seem to see my thoughts coming or going. It seems that they are either there or not.”
Yes, that’s what I mean; that when they are there, we say that they are coming; and when it is not, it seems like it is going. It is not like you will see the first word entering and the second word; for some that can happen, but it is okay to say that they appear and they disappear. That is what we mean by coming and going. In the same space, when a thought comes, it stays for a while then it goes; then in the same space another thought comes, isn’t it? In the same space of Awareness, all this is perceived.
It’s good, don’t worry about it. All this will become very apparent. As you start spending more time observing this play of the mind, you will see that all of this is happening in this way. But right now it is okay to say it is just appearing and disappearing.
“What about a thought that is a continuation of a thought from the other day? It seems there must have been a thinking in the background, unperceived.”
Yes. Just for now, we can observe the next thought that is coming. Even if the content is something like this, it can seem to come and can seem to go.
It is not difficult, it is very straightforward. What is being asked is just, in the moment, to see that a thought is appearing and it is disappearing. You can say coming or going, we can use any term, but you will see that a thought does not stay. It comes out of emptiness and goes back into nothingness.
You must see this experientially. Don’t try to understand this from the mind, because the mind will sell you a theory and tell you that this theory is true. ‘Listen to my theory’ is what it will say. Therefore what is required is, just for a minute, just close your eyes; see if there is a thought. If there is a thought, see how it goes and disappears. And if there is no thought, just see how the next one comes and then goes. That’s all.
There are only two states possible: one is that there is already a thought, then just watch how the thought disappears. And if there is no thought, just wait for the next thought to appear and to disappear. Even the intellectual theories about this are thoughts, isn’t it? Just watch them appearing and disappearing.
“Physical sensations that are contracted appear, with a looking at the thoughts.”
Yes, physical sensations. Just see where they come from and where they go as well. Do they come from the same nothing and go into the same nothing? Or is it a different sense of nothingness?
“Everything is slowing down right now.”
Yes, that is what we want to do; for it to slow down completely and for us to look. Because the mind creates a sense of rush, a sense of disappointment, a sense of frustration; it tries to put you in all of these traps. What I am saying is just keep all of those aside and just, with the next thought or the present thought, just watch what happens. Just watch, that’s all.
“Whether there is a thought or an absence of a thought, both are seen. Neither are me.”
Yes, yes, that is the point of the exercise; that whether there is a thought or there is no thought, it is not You. Wonderful. So, that is the exercise. When it is seen that there is a thought, it is not me; and when there is no thought, also it is not me. I am just the Awareness of the thought or no thought.
“I can’t watch thought. Because of the movement, I start watching it disappear.”
Yes. That is it. That is what we are speaking of. In the watching of it, it does not seem to get any grip, or it cannot seem to hold on to our sense of Being. Just in the pure watching of it, it seems to gently just come and go.
“I clearly see your pointing. I am free until I believe my next thought.”
Identifying ourselves by our professions
“I have identified with being a psychotherapist and this is very juicy to me. I noticed something does not want to let go of it. I really have an affection for this identity.”
Yes. This psychotherapist; what is the life of this psychotherapist? How long will this psycho- therapist stay? Can you take the psychotherapist with you in your dream? Can you take the psychotherapist with you in your sleep? There is nothing wrong with the role of being a psychotherapist, but don’t confuse it to be You. Because then if someone says that ‘You are a horrible psychotherapist’ then you leave room for suffering.
Any identity, no matter how great or how wonderful it may seem, is not ultimately You. And any belief in the untruth will eventually lead to suffering. The role of a psychotherapist, the role of a doctor, the role of an engineer, all these roles can be played easily by the Self itself. For this, you do not need to pick up the identity of being a psychotherapist. Because we cannot show where this person is who is a psychotherapist. Is the body a psychotherapist? Where is this ‘person’ who is a psychotherapist?
The emptiness of not-knowing
“There is some uncertainty about this emptiness of not knowing anything.”
You must get used to the uncertainty of not knowing anything from the mind. You must drop all the mental knowing about everything, and then the true knowing is seen to be the true knowing; the true knowing of our true nature as Awareness itself. This is enough. And that is not an effortful knowing. There is nothing that you do to know this or not know this. Actually all of us already know this, but it is somewhere obscure because of the tricks of the mind. When the mind is let go of, this supreme knowledge unfolds on its own, and it is seen that ‘I have always known this’.
These beautiful gifts
“Some very beautiful thoughts seem to me impossible to feel responsible for in any way. They seem to be presents from God, like I am in the perfectly right place, right now.”
These gifts from God will come in the words, in the form of memory, in the form of visual images, in the form of external events, in the form of miracles; all of this will come. But you just stay as the Self. Don’t form any conclusions or proclamations about any of this. It is very good. Just be grateful completely for grace, to the Guru, for these beautiful gifts. But do not let them form any conclusions or proclamations about yourself. Then they will remain as gifts. The instant you make it to mean something about your ‘person’ then it becomes a pain actually. From a boon it becomes a pain. That’s the same with all spiritual experiences.
Help me to become free
“Help me. Tell me if it is possible to break free.”
It is completely possible. Hold my hand, and we are here in this nothing. Nothing can pull you back. Just in this beautiful way, you can expose all that is coming up, and just see that You-as- the-pure-Awareness of all of this, are completely untouched by any of this. You are the seeing of this. The seeing is completely untouched by the content. If it seems strong, it’s good that you expose it, that you don’t deny it, because denial becomes the house for the ego. It’s good that something is coming up strongly; that you can expose it and throw it into the fire of satsang.
The fire of satsang
Let it all be burnt in the fire of satsang. The mind will do all of that when it senses that its time of supremacy is now over. It will use all its strongest pushes and buttons to keep us enslaved in some sense. But now we are in satsang; it is just not possible. Let the strongest feelings come; anger, disappointment, rage, frustration, arrogance. All of this can come. It can be just seen, and it can be thrown out. Just let it go from your system; let it get released.
All these are the withdrawal symptoms from the mind. In withdrawal, you’ll have all these strong symptoms but they will not last. Just don’t go back to your addiction of the mind. To deal with the unease of the withdrawal might seem a little difficult initially, but you will be so much at peace when it is over. But if you get back to the drug of the mind, then you are perpetuating the addiction, and perpetuating the suffering.
I am with you in this withdrawal. We’re in this together. You can hand all of it over to me; it is all my problem. Let all of this come; let the Guru deal with all of this. It’s fine. That is the way that Consciousness had to play out in those moments. Even if there was a swaying, it was only momentary. There was not a prolonged belief in the personal.
“I want to expose judgment of others and a sense of spiritual superiority. Please take it.”
Yes, very good. This spiritual ego is the ego of the worst kind. If we were to create a spectrum; all ego is the same, but if we were to just playfully create a spectrum of all types of ego, the spiritual ego is the one which is of the worst kind because it says all the right things, it relies on the intellectual understanding of the truth, and it is very difficult to displace. Therefore it is very good that you see this for yourself, and you’re able to expose it and hand it over.
Stay in satsang
“I’m grateful for courage and guidance to stay in satsang.”
Yes, that is my one ‘rule’ (if I were to call it that); my one guidance is to just come to satsang. It is that simple actually. No matter what the mind is saying, no matter what resistances are coming up, just stay in satsang. With that I know that everything is just going to get dissolved; all the lifetimes of built-up karma will get burned in this satsang. That is my one ‘rule’. Without the Master’s permission, do not believe that no more satsang is required.
“Satsang is so great; as when I expose something here, it seems really let go of instantly, even if I have looked at it already.”
Yes. That is the power of satsang. That is the power of being in the Presence of the Master and of sangha.
All of you are the carriers of the light of the Satguru now.
What Brings Complete Freedom?
A question which is common in satsang is ‘What do I do to find my complete freedom? What must I do to become completely free?’ Let’s look at what the response should be to this question: ‘What must be done to find my freedom?’
In many cases, the Master will say ‘This ‘I’ that wants to do something, you must find out who this ‘I’ is. Where is this ‘I’ that wants to do something?’
Then an answer might come: ‘What do you mean by this I? It is me. I want to’. Because many Beings have never looked at this question of identity. It seems obvious that there is a ‘me’ here that has these particular needs and desires, and now it has come to a point where it desires freedom itself. It seems so clear. We are so much in the hypnosis of this that most Beings will never ask themselves ‘Who is this me?’ And even if this question takes root, then for a long time it seems like the understanding is also happening personally, that ‘This is now my understanding and I have understood’. And ultimately even this understanding will be dropped when it is seen that there is no individual ‘I’ here anyway.
These are not just fancy words; this will be seen. The scriptures are not written in a way so that you get mystified. They are speaking to plain truth. But the mind makes something mystical out of them, or something complicated out of them. Therefore when it is said that ‘There is no individual you anyway’ then it will seem like just some words, but you will feel that it is a matter of intellectual understanding, and not what the true situation is. Or you will convince yourself that ‘This is the trick, or the magic card I can use, to get rid of all the suffering that exists in my life’. We tried to use an intellectual understanding to get rid of the suffering in our life; and that cannot work. It might be helpful at some level, but ultimately it will not work because it has to become our true experiencing; our real living. As long as we continue to live personally then there exists a potential for suffering; and that is not freedom.
Are you wanting to be a spiritual ‘person’?
We must ask ourselves now: ‘Is it still personal for me? Am I still attached to the idea of being a person?’ And you will know intuitively what the truth is. Do not deny the truth for yourself. It’s good to expose it at least to yourself. ‘Is it still something personal for me? And has the person now started to dissolve, or is the person becoming stronger as a spiritual person?’
Is the result of satsang that the person who was a non-spiritual person has now become a spiritual person? Or has the personhood itself started dissolving? And if we are just giving more ammunition to the spiritual ego, if we are just making the spiritual person stronger, then that is not freedom; and there will be suffering to show us this truth. Is there a sense of specialness associated with your spirituality? Are you after the personal benefits that liberation provides? Or are you willing to completely let go of the identity of being a person? Are you willing to let go completely of the identity of being a person?
Being no-thing
That is the meaning of being no-thing. We see that we are not a phenomenal object; we are the pure perceiving itself; we are the pure Awareness, which is not a thing. The person is a thing, it is an idea. It is not even a thing actually; it is a second level of unreality. It does not even have a phenomenal existence. And yet we believe ourselves to be just an idea. Is there a willingness? If you come to satsang, carry this willingness with you to accept that you cannot be this imaginary concept.
The concept that ‘the mind creates the world’
Just like in a dream, all that appears is inside you. In the same way, all that appears in the waking state is also inside you. Without you they do not exist. But we do not have to force ourselves to see it like this. All that is required for us for now is for us to let go of our thoughts. All this understanding, all this perception will unfold for us beautifully if we don’t get caught up in our thoughts. All we must do is to get rid of belief in our thoughts. And then you will see that all this will be your own experiencing, and you will be sharing it in the simplest way and saying ‘It is so simple’.
Attachment to a body which I call ‘me’
As long as you are not referring to the body as You, it is okay. Like I say, you have been given a car; if you need to take it to the mechanic or you need to take it out for a drive, it is all fine. If you want it to be working properly, it’s a preference. It is all fine. But the minute you say that ‘The body is me’ that is when the potential for suffering starts. If we do not believe our mental interpretation of pain, or whatever the body is trying to tell us, then we will see that it is a very innocent instrument with not too many needs and not too many demands; and it does not require even too much attention. But the instant you start imagining it to be your own self, then you start saying that ‘I am not well, I am in pain, I need to lose weight’. Why don’t we say these things about the car that we have? Because it seems more intimately connected to us.
Since it is an instrument that we are using so intimately, we get confused that ‘This must be me’. But even this is not a state of clarity; because most people will say ‘I am confused and I feel this body is me’. But then when I ask ‘What were your last ten problems?’ then one or two at most might be about the body. Most will say that problems are usually about inter-personal relationships, about how somebody spoke to us, about how work is going for us. These are not problems of the body, yet they are our problems.
Therefore what do we truly believe ourself to be? And if one was completely convinced that they are the body alone, then even then they would not suffer too much. But because of this confusion, body, mind, thoughts, imagination; all of this we imagine to be ourself. Therefore we get confused, and confusion means misery.
I’m still feeling that I am a person.
Now, look at this very carefully: there is no person. There is no person. What you mean is that there is still a belief in the idea of a person. So there’s a belief in an idea that ‘There exists a city called Atlantis’. But until we see the city or we see a photograph of the city or we find somebody credible who reports the existence of the city, can we really testify to the existence of the city? Therefore, when we look for a ‘person’ and it is not found, then we should not believe the thought that says ‘Yes, yes, I still know that there is a person’. Start with the conclusion that ‘Until I find a person, there cannot be a person’. Start with this hypothesis, and then see if you can find a person. Because we do this for everything else; why not for this person?
When do we let go of inquiry?
Don’t make any decisions. If your inquiry is true, then you would have seen that you are not the doer of inquiry also. There might be still the existence of this idea that ‘I am doing the inquiry’. And if there is belief in this idea, then find out: ‘Who is doing the inquiry?’ Because to be able to do, or drop, something means that we believe that there is an individual here with this volition, with this choice. Can we present this individual? And once this individual idea, this person, is also seen to be just a figment of our imagination, then this inquiry can be dropped on its own. Consciousness itself is doing the inquiry; Consciousness itself will stop. It is not a personal decision; it never was.
Are we the content of our experiencing?
How long will we listen to the voice of the mind? What are the gifts that it has given us? How long will we keep handing over the words of the Master to this mind for its belief? The mind will never give you its approval. It knows only to attack and defend. It only knows how to argue with reality.
Maybe the tightness in the body feels edgy, restless. It’s not body, it’s a feeling. How does a feeling become a person? If it is appearing only as a feeling, how can we say it is a person? How can we say it is me? Are you the one who is aware of this feeling, or are you the feeling itself? Are we the content of our experiencing, or are we the pure experiencing?
You are the one with no attributes. You have no attributes. The closest we can come to describing you is to say that you are pure Awareness itself. You’re the pure seeing itself. Even to say that there is a seer would be not accurate because that would mean that there is an entity who is seeing, an entity who is aware. But when searched, we find that there is no entity at all, and we are just the pure seeing or pure Awareness.
I am definitely not a thing; I am not an entity of any sort. All entities give birth inside me. Time and space themselves give birth inside me. All entities are related to time and space. Therefore I cannot be an entity inside time and space. It is time and space that are inside me. All attributes, all experiences, all phenomenon appear inside me after the birth or the sense ‘I Am’ or Consciousness or God, whatever term you’d like to use; after this sense is there, then this world of duality appears for this ‘me’. But truly, I am only the Awareness of all that appears.
Actually you can never leave home
Yes, the Satguru’s grace is bringing all of us home, to this home that we actually never left. That is why I say that we have never actually left the destination. We have never actually left the destination. Also I say ‘Don’t try to come home. Don’t attempt to come home; simply refuse to leave home’. That means that actually you can never leave; just don’t believe the idea that you are not the Self now. Don’t believe any ideas about yourself. Don’t believe the idea about being a person. If the attention is jumping here and there, don’t feel that You are becoming what the attention is jumping to. That means we are discarding all these thoughts, and we are refusing to leave home. ‘Don’t try to come home’ means that there is nowhere that you need to go. You are already the Self. If the Self is real, if the Self is true, then it must already be here. The Self cannot be something which comes and goes. The Satguru’s grace shows us that our leaving home was just in our imagination, and in that way, that process is called the process of coming back home. But actually, we have never left.
The Guru is only one
I am always with you; the Satguru is guiding your path. There is only one Guru who is using various bodies to communicate the message of truth. The Guru is only one; the same Satguru which resides in your heart is speaking through this body, and will one day speak through that body as well. It already does for all of you when you are not going along with the hypnosis of the mind. Then the words that appear through you are the words that are dipped in honey, dipped in love, peace and joy. These are the words of the Satguru itself. There is nothing special about this body. It is only an instrument for the Guru to use.
Divesting belief in the idea of being a person
When it is said that ‘If it is looked for, the person can’t be found’, we may still have some thoughts, some feelings, which seem to carry the personal energy; that sense of ‘I’ in them. This is also seen. It is in these thoughts, in these concepts, in these feelings, that we carry this sort of personal energy, this needy sort of energy, this fearful sort of energy which is all coming from the personal idea. When it is just let go of, then we are not perpetuating the belief in the person.
A thought is seen, a feeling is seen, and there seems to be the smell of this person. But the person is not seen, isn’t it? And upon looking, if it is not seen; if upon looking over and over again, it is not seen, then we must divest our belief from this idea of a person. It is our own belief which is giving it power. This idea of a person, if it is not picked up, cannot become you.
Is personal specialness at the root of our seeking?
Even the expectation of getting some personal benefits out of this search for freedom, or out of freedom; if the desire seems to be a wanting to be in a state which is helpful for the person, or for the person to become something, it will lead to personal specialness. If that is at the root of our seeking, then we will find that our seeking will stop with the development of a strong spiritual ego. If there is a need for specialness that we are catering to, then the seeking will end with the
development of a strong spiritual ego; which will give rise to more suffering, which will cause the disintegration of this spiritual ego, and a leading to the truth. Therefore we must be completely clear about what is it that we want. What is it that we truly want? In this integrity, you will find that the path is so simple.
You are the one perceiving it
You are the one who is perceiving this feeling of ‘me’. Therefore, you are not in the feeling of ‘me’, you are the one perceiving it. You are the Awareness of it. It could be any feeling, any emotion; that does not make it You. If the clothes we wore yesterday to a party smell like us, smell like our perfume, then that does not make it us. We are still the one who wore the clothes. We are the one who is Awareness itself of the feeling. We cannot become a feeling itself.
The Presence is doing its work
The feeling that ‘I am not understanding’ is very good, because this mind we are trying to bypass. There is a deeper You, which is Consciousness itself, which is speaking to Consciousness. Therefore the mind is not required in this conversation at all. You don’t need your mind’s understanding to communicate. Let the words be a complete mystery to your mind, but the Presence will do its work. The Presence is doing its work.
The Idea of Separation is Only a Belief
True silence is not the absence of words, silence is the absence of the ego. And what is the ego? Ego is the belief in the idea of separation. Ego is the sense of being the separate individual. If we can see that it is only a belief in the idea of separation then we can see that belief is prior to the ego. The power to believe seems to exist once Consciousness is born. This power is given to this idea that ‘I am a person’ and this belief is called the ego. If this belief had not happened, then the concept of separation would not exist. Because it is really a concept.
Once we become spiritual, many Beings make this mistake of replacing one concept with another concept. And maybe for a while it is necessary but eventually all concepts must be dropped. The belief in an individual entity is often replaced by another belief, in the concept of Oneness or God. But this cannot help us when it stays merely conceptual; it is not enough. Because it is only the ‘person’ who is trying to play God. The ‘person’ is trying to become God. In all personal endeavors, somewhere at the root is the desire to become a god. Therefore, it is ironic that first we believe this concept of a ‘person’ into existence, and then we want the ‘person’ to become God which we have originally been, always.
We always were God, but first we believed ourselves to be a ‘person’ then we want this ‘person’ to become like God. Ultimately that is the strongest personal desire; all the other desires are just leading up to this point. The ‘person’ wants to attain Godhood. But to truly understand that we are always God, we have to only drop the idea of this ‘person.’ Because if we look at personal desires otherwise, it’s always more, more, more, more, more and bigger, bigger, bigger. Many of our desires come true, but the pleasure of this lasts for only a short period of time, and then a new desire comes which tries to elevate this person towards Godhood itself. This must have been the true meaning of when the wise man said ‘Don’t worship false gods’. He must have been referring to this imaginary idea of God which we must become. If we were to try and become God, that would mean that God is not present here now. If you were to exist as a separate entity, this would mean that God does not exist in some spaces, to create room for separate entities. Is that possible?
Contemplation questions
Therefore, we must see now, what is missing here now?
Or am I ultimately free in this very moment?
In what way am I not free in this very moment?
This is the first question: ‘In what way am I bound or not free in this very moment?’
The next question is: ‘How is this moment different from any other moment?’
Whatever is present here in this moment, isn’t that always present in every moment? How is this moment different from any other moment?
Everyone says ‘It’s always the same. Always the same’. So if in every moment we are completely free, beyond even the concept of freedom, then how does suffering arise?
If in this moment there is nothing bound, and if every moment is the same as this moment, then how does suffering arise?
If there is no interpretation, there is complete lack of any sort of bondage or mis-identification. We can fire the interpreter; it is doing a very bad job. And it will keep reporting back to work, but you keep firing him.
Suffering is an idea believed in
Therefore, if every moment is the same, and in any moment there is complete freedom, then suffering is another idea believed in, which was sold to us by this interpreter. So even when the concept of suffering is believed, actually no suffering is happening to you. It is all happening to an idea of yourself. You in reality cannot suffer. Only the idea you have about yourself can suffer. Therefore, we must remember not to give reality to the concept that ‘It is me that is suffering’. Because we cannot introduce this ‘me’. We have never seen this ‘me.’
It is like somebody wearing a mask has shown up at our doorstep and he says ‘I cannot show you who I am, but you must now cater to my every need’. The masked one has come and he now says ‘You must cater to my every need, otherwise your life will be miserable’. And we never muster up enough courage to open the mask. It uses all tactics; greed and fear, and we start catering to this masked stranger at our door. And when you get tired of doing this you come to the Guru and say ‘I am tired of catering to this stranger, I don’t even know who it is’. So the Master says ‘Just open the mask’. When the mask is opened, it was found that there was actually nobody there; we had imagined the whole thing. There is no person there. There is no person anywhere.
So stop running around trying to cater to the whims of this imagined person. If you are catering to something, at least first identify what it is for, or who is it for. And if you are clear about whom it is for, then there is no problem
So with the next thought that comes we can ask ourselves: ‘Who is this thought speaking to?’ Be completely open to the next thought that arises, ask: ‘Who is this thought speaking to?’
And many of you will find that when you are completely open to the next thought, the flow of thoughts reduces drastically compared to earlier. In your lack of fear of the mind, the mind starts to lose its power.
Two aspects of the personhood idea
If we can see that ‘I am not actually running around’ then that is very good. You can see that only Consciousness is playing as Consciousness itself. All actions and experiences are of Consciousness itself. If there is a concept of a personality or personhood still here, then these words are meant for those. It is also, funnily enough, meant for those who seem to have a reaction to these words. [Laughs] Isn’t that funny? So it is meant for those who believe in the concept of personhood, and it is also meant for those that believe in another concept of no-
personhood. It will irritate both of these, because in one case there is a ‘person’ and in the other case there is a ‘person’ who is trying to become a ‘non-person’. Truly, when there is only Consciousness, then it will all be allowed to just flow.
“It often feels like one idea of a person is in a dynamic with another aspect of personhood, both unreal.”
Yes, that’s the point. The ‘person’ trying to become a ‘non-person’. Both are unreal. And a person trying to become bigger, stronger, faster is completely unreal, but the person trying to become a ‘non-person’ is also another personal journey. Therefore both concepts can be simply dropped.
There is no war to win. There is no battle to fight. We have always been only the Self. There is nowhere to get to; no journey, no path. As Mooji says, ‘The journey from person to Self is the distance of a thought’. When we pick up the idea of being a person, we are travelling the distance only of a thought. We have to keep picking up thoughts to reinforce the idea of being this person. Therefore if we were to let go of our thoughts, then we will see that we never went anywhere at all. This was the imaginary distance we travelled on the back of a thought.
Don’t just believe me, check for yourself
“All this suffering is just happening because there is belief in the thought which says ‘I have a problem’ with these thoughts, feelings, etc.”
Yes, it’s happening because of the belief in these thoughts. At the root of these thoughts is the belief that ‘I am a separate individual’. As long as there is belief in this root thought, there will be some thoughts that will come which will be juicy for us. Therefore in the inquiry, we are now eradicating this root thought by asking us to expose who is this one, who is this individual entity, who is this person? Can we see this person for ourselves at least once in our life? Then it is reported that ‘No, I cannot find this person’.
It is like we had a belief that the Sun rises from the West, and then the Master says ‘No, no, the Sun actually rises from the East’. We don’t believe the words without checking for ourselves; because the belief in the Sun rising from the West was so strong that we just believed this concept; and every thought is reinforcing this, every creature we meet is reinforcing this. Therefore when the rare one comes and says ‘No, no, the Sun actually rises from the East’ we must then validate that for ourselves. The Master is saying ‘Go and check it out for yourself’.
The first time we see that the Sun actually comes from the East, which means that there is no ‘person’ here, then we say ‘Okay, maybe it’s just today; maybe just right now the person is not here, but it will come back later’. So the Master will say ‘Check tomorrow as well. Check again’. Then again we check and say ‘No person here now, but maybe it’s only because you are here, or maybe because it’s Satsang that there is no person here, but after Satsang I promise the person comes back’. I say ‘Just check again’. They check again and there’s no person. Then they say ‘What’s going on here?’ This seeing over and over, the inquiry over and over, then convinces us that we were just fooling ourselves; there was never a person here. The Sun always came up
from the East. We have only fooled ourselves over so many years that it comes up from the West.
Therefore no Master will say ‘Just take my word for it that the Sun comes from the East’. He will say ‘Check for yourself. Check; and in your experiencing of this reality, you will come to complete freedom’. Of course, trust in the Master’s words will give you the momentum to check. Otherwise the concept is so strong, the concept of the person is so strong that if you don’t trust the person who is telling you to go and check, then it will just not happen. If a random stranger were to come and ask you ‘Who are you really?’ you would not treat that as a serious question. But when the Master who has some credibility with him now asks you to go and check ‘Who is this person?’ you will follow this instruction. That is the advantage of trust.
Trusting the Master
“A thought comes strongly that ‘I do not trust any Master’. But I am here, so something is stronger than this thought.”
A thought is coming that ‘I do not trust any Master’. Then who should we trust? That thought is basically saying ‘Only trust the mind, only trust thoughts; that means only trust ego, or only trust me’. Now in trusting the mind and ego, we have suffered for many lifetimes. Therefore, a Master says ‘It is okay that you doubt me, just try out what I am saying for a short period of time. You have given many, many years to listening to the mind. Now just as an experiment, try out listening to what is being said here for a short period of time and then tell me if your suffering reduces or not. Do you find less confusion, more clarity, more peace; or not?’
In this experiencing for your own self, your development of trust in the Master will happen. If you genuinely follow the pointing, initially the mind could have a lot of strong reactions, but just stay with it for a little while. You’ve given the mind many, many, many thousands of years. If you can give the Master a year or two, you will find that you will have so much trust, because every word that you are open to from the Master’s mouth has so much clarity, so much peace and so much joy.
It’s okay initially to have a little bit of doubt to do all your due diligence, to see if it is exploitative in nature in any way, if the Master wants something from you. A True Master wants nothing but your complete freedom. If he wants anything else from you, then you can look at your doubts and reinforce your doubts. If that Being is claiming to be a Guru and he seems to have a need from you, then you can completely doubt this kind of Guru. So you must be vigilant, you must doubt, you must do your due diligence. But if you find that there is one who is trustworthy that you are drawn to, you find peace in the company of this one, then at least try what this one is saying for a short period of time.
It happens that we could have gone for many satsangs, we may feel we have understood, but the insights get deeper and deeper. It really hits home on one of these few occasions, and those are the explosions happening which are blowing up some concept.
So the Master is delivering basically the same point over and over in 500 different ways. There will be one hammer blow which cracks it open. Then another layer of beliefs and concepts; he will go on hammering, hammering, hammering and that will explode. So, just like conditioning was built up like this, sometimes it feels like de-conditioning also goes in this way sometimes. For some Beings it’s a big explosion, for other Beings it could be small cracks, more small cracks, and then opening up. It all plays out very beautifully for everyone as per their own play of Consciousness.
Therefore every time a concept comes again that reinforces that ‘The Sun is rising from the West’ (which we are co-relating with our idea that ‘I am a separate person’), then we can check again to see where the Sun is actually rising from. That means we check and see whether there is a ‘person’ here anyway.
Just keep coming to satsang
I say my only rule is to keep coming to satsang. Because while the chipping is happening, the hammering is going on, many things will make us believe ‘It is done now, it is done now, I am going to run away from this. It’s done for me, it’s enough for me, too much satsang’. Something doesn’t want to get hammered; it wants to run. I’m saying that it’s not done yet. Just keep coming to satsang.
Then, one day if you truly feel from the Heart that satsang is no longer required, you can come to the Master and say ‘Master, I feel that Satsang is every moment of my life truly, and I don’t feel that satsang is required for me now’. Let the Master give you this permission to come and go into satsang as you please. But until then, listen to the Master when he says ‘Keep coming to satsang’. Then it is mostly seen anyway that satsang becomes a pure joy to attend; it does not feel like a hammering any more.
Something is seeping through. It is going through the mind-bypass. The mind is trying to block. It’s okay, as long as it is seen; nothing to worry about. You will see that what gets burned is not you. It’s only burning whatever is unreal. Just keep letting go of everything that is appearing. All this trickery will soon lose its power.
Awareness Itself in This Very Moment
There is no such thing as an awakening in the future. What it means for the awakening to be complete is always a completion in the present moment. The complete understanding that ‘I am pure Awareness itself in this very moment’ is the complete awakening. Because if it was something that needed to be done, and for something to have been achieved in the future, then that would mean that you are not pure Awareness right now.
Sometimes the Master can see that the dissolving of the belief in the ‘person’ seems to be a gradual process for some of us. Therefore when we refer to this complete awakening, it could be more and more dissolution of this idea that ‘I am a person’. Many of us can also testify to this, that the idea of the person, when we started satsang, is now a mere shadow of what it used to be. Can we not?
Must all conditioning be transcended?
We will say that most conditioning is transcended. I joke sometimes when I say: it is exactly 99.3% of our conditioning that will get transcended. The point behind the joke is that, if we expect it to be 100 percent then it becomes an ego trap for us; because there are bound to be moments where the personality or the conditioning kicks in again; but only momentarily. But if our idea of awakening means that 100% of our conditioning will be gone, when these moments happen then we will start to question our awakening; we will start to question our true identity and we get trapped in the trap of the mind. But it can be said that predominantly most of the things that used to bother us or make us suffer will not touch us anymore. Even the greatest sages and Masters have had moments in their lives, like from Jesus to Ram, anyone who was born in human conditioning does have moments where the conditioning seems to become very strong. Therefore do not have this expectation that freedom or awakening must mean the complete end to all 100% suffering. But it can be said that most of it now is a distant memory.
Everyone is basically already awakened?
Yes. Everyone is already the Self. Everyone is already the Self, but most are testifying to being persons, or people. When there is a true realization that ‘I am not a person’ and the testimony is that ‘I am this pure Awareness’ or ‘I am the one Being’ then that is awakening. And this awakening is always in the moment. If the belief is present that ‘I am a person’ then it can be called the non-awakened state; and if this ‘person belief’ is absent, then it can be called the awakened state. It doesn’t have any impact on your true reality, because we are always the Self anyway. We are always, always the Self anyway. Awakened or non-awakened only seems to be testifying to whether the belief of being a person is there, or this belief is absent. Therefore the fruit of the inquiry is instantaneous. My Master says this, that the fruit of the inquiry is actually instantaneous. Because when we look for who I am, then the person is not found, and it is seen that there is only this pure seeing or Awareness here.
Having an uncomfortable feeling around receiving
Mooji took an example of how he had a problem with receiving in the initial days. And then Beings would come and offer him things and he would say ‘No, no, no. I don’t want it’. This completely resonated, because I noticed that there was a problem here also in receiving. If somebody would offer to do something I would say ‘No, no I will do it myself’ because it felt like something arrogant to receive. So this feeling was there that if I were to start accepting gestures or any type of thing, then it would become very arrogant of me to do that. But when he highlighted this, he said that if we are truly one, then what is the problem in receiving? If we are truly one, why do we have to create this barrier around ourselves? Especially in things that are given with love, we do not need to create any arrogance or any concepts around it.
Therefore just follow our Heart. Follow your Heart in the moment, and see that it will guide you as to when it is appropriate or not. So I am not saying that we now must become open; because we are free we must now become open to everything, that because there is no separation then all receiving can happen. I feel that intuitively we can decide whether something is auspicious or not. I hope that clarified a little bit.
The burden of saving the world; helping or saving others
If even for a moment we were to presume the existence of a doer entity, if we were to presume that there is a person here that is the doer, what is the best thing he could do for another? We can come up with many answers. Some might say they need some money, or they need some food, or they need something else; which is a presumption of the mind to make. So, for example, if we were to presume that there is an individual doer here, this doer feels that to give everyone some money would be the best idea. So he goes and he finds somebody who is homeless and he gives him some money. Now we do not know whether that money actually helps him get rid of his suffering or not, because we do not know what he does with that money. Whether he buys some drugs with it, whether he does something else with it. We do not know what is the conclusion of that. But our mind is telling us that we must give him some money to help him; because it presumes that this is the way to help.
But ultimately, what is the best, best gift you can give another? The best gift you can give another, according to me, is to show them the path to complete freedom from suffering. So not small band-aids, but complete freedom from suffering. Give them this complete freedom from suffering. But how can we give this to them when we ourselves are not free from complete suffering yet? Therefore, before we can truly help the world, let us become completely free from suffering ourselves. And when we are free from this idea of ego, when we are free from suffering, then we will find that intuitively we will be guided in the right way as to how we can help everyone else. Otherwise, it is like the blind leading the blind.
Remember that, for the sake of this discussion, that we started with the presumption that there is an individual doer here anyway. In actuality, there is no such individual person who can do anything at all. All of this is a play of Beingness or Consciousness or God, whatever label you want to use; all of this is a play of that. So don’t let your ego rest on the idea that ‘I am going to help others’ or let this ‘I’ survive because of this concept.
Who is aware of doubt?
Doubt seems to be very sneaky. It reappears every time we feel it is gone. It is just lurking somewhere, and seems to reappear again and again. So wherever the doubt appears, just find out who is aware of this doubt. Stay with the awareness itself. Don’t worry about what the doubt is saying. All this I’m speaking of is after you’ve done all your due diligence, all your checking. In the presence of our True Master, there is a certain sense of surrender, there is a certain sense of peace, there is a certain sense of coming home.
So if this sense is felt, and a certain peace and a certain integrity is felt, then we can know that we can trust this Master. Also, initially we can check if this one is creating any sort of exploitative relationships. Is he exploiting the Beings that are coming to him in any sort of way? So if we have checked all of this, and it seems to be all fine, and my Heart tells me that there is something here for me, there is a sense of coming home here, then we can say ‘Ok, this one I can call my Master’.
Then we must decide to stay at least for some time; because it is the nature of the mind to now attack. It will attack, maybe with some concepts; it might even give you some fodder every day. There are some Beings who come to satsang with Mooji sometimes, and they are so clear, so clear after a few satsangs. Then one day you meet them on the street somewhere and they say ‘No, no. I don’t come to satsang anymore’. And you ask ‘Why?’ and they will tell you something so silly and so stupid that ‘This is what he said, and I just do not agree with this, hence I stopped coming to satsang’. But hasn’t the Master always said that the Truth is not really in the words? Different words are being used for different questioners. Different words can be used to push us towards the Truth. But the Truth is ultimately never in the words themselves. Like [Nisargadatta] Maharaj said ‘The only true thing that we can say is that ‘I Am’. Ultimately, even this is not true’.
Therefore, if you’ve done all the due diligence, if you can feel the Presence in Satsang, then to just be a fact-checker in satsang and to look at every word that the Master is saying, there is no Master whose words can survive this sort of intellectual fact-checking. Because the Master is just using words to remove thorns, and then he’s throwing away these thorns as well. He is not attached to the words that are coming out. But there many who will say, just because someone used a sentence or a set of words and there was a disagreement with that, that they stop coming to satsang. That, I would say, is an unreasonable doubt. Because the truth is that if the Presence is felt, then the words are completely unimportant. The true prasad of satsang is the Presence itself, and not the words. Therefore, basically, do the full due diligence initially, but once you’ve done all of that, then stay for a while. And then the fruit of satsang, the fruit of your sadhana will be apparent to you very clearly.
Is there a ‘person’ here anyway?
Like with most things in life, we presume it does not exist until we can find it. Only with ‘the person’ we start with the opposite belief. We start with the belief that ‘The person exists, I just can’t find him’. So what am saying is, like with most things, you first presume that it does not
exist, and then you go looking for it. Can we find this individual entity anywhere? And if this individual entity cannot be found, then I must be just this pure Awareness which is ever-present.
Identification with chaotic mind
As long as you worry about what happened yesterday, and what feelings are appearing now, then the identification will keep recurring. As long as we have a condition that something should not happen now, we find then that this thing keeps happening. Therefore, in all moments, whenever is there, there is this Awareness. Just come to your true place. Come to your true place now. Let go of all that happened yesterday, and if there are residual feelings, you let them be. Don’t resist them. Don’t feel that they should not be there. Drop all these. Drop all resentment. Just be here now. Just be in the present moment. And from this present moment, you will see that yesterday never actually really happened. Don’t try to let your mind into this. All that there is, is now. Yesterday never really happened, the future is never here. Just be in the now. What is present here now?
Remember that the mind could be jumping around all over the place, the attention could be hopping from here to there, but none of this actually affects what you really are. That is why yesterday I told you to enjoy the movie, because the watching of the movie is completely unaffected by any content, no matter how beautiful or horrific it might seem.
Awakening doesn’t happen to the body
What is in the body? What should happen here in the body? How am I connected to this body? How is it different from any other appearance? Therefore the awakening cannot happen at the level of the body. The body undressed is a tool that we are using for communication. But in satsang we are actually awakening not through our bodies, but in a deeper place of Presence itself. Therefore awakening is not something that will happen to a body. It will seem like there are these certain bodies in which some awakened beings are dwelling. But this is just a representation, it is not true. All that is happening is a creation of your own Consciousness. Consciousness is using these instruments to be communicating with you in this way. There might be some energies experienced in the body; those energies are not important. In the process of true understanding, there might be some energetic by-products that come in the body, but those are unimportant.
Dropping defenses
What if you were to drop all defenses to whatever is arising, and don’t pick up any defense after that? The dropping of defenses is the same as the letting go, or surrendering, or the non- resistance, or the allowing. Just drop all your defenses to life and whatever is appearing. This itself is freedom. What I’m saying is just keep it dropped. Don’t pick up your defenses at all.
There is still a personal sense of investment to awakening.
This is really the seeker identity, which is the last to go. The seeker, the one who is desirous for freedom, first burns everything else, other desires. Nothing else seems to have meaning for us.
Then this final desire, the desire for getting something, even this awakening, is now gone and starting to dissolve. Because once it is understood that ‘I am already that, and I can never not be that’ then what is now left to seek or to desire? What awakening is now left? Can you stop being aware right now? Can you become unaware right now? And your answer will be ‘No’. Therefore the awareness is there, and you are the Awareness itself. Therefore, you cannot go to sleep, and there is nothing to awaken.
Resistance to really strong feelings
From this moment, it seemed so strong and it took us over and the ‘person’ was operating; all of that can be said. But it can only be said about the past. So all I’m saying is that instead of saying all of this about the past, it is best to just let all of it go. And then you find that all these things, all this momentum that sometimes seems to be there, might also start fading out. But we want to do post-mortems about all this. We give more reality to something, we give it more belief. The more we give belief to our thoughts, the more real these experiences of the past seem to become. It’s best to just let them go. It is beautiful that all of us are just able to testify to what is happening, to be able to say that there is an awareness that ‘This is what seems to be what is going on’. So this will deepen more and more, and you will find those incidents of personhood coming back for short periods of time will become lesser and lesser.
The difference about feeling alone as the ego, and feeling alone as the Self.
Usually, when Beings are referring to the sense of loneliness, they are talking about this personal alone-ness; which is full of need, full of lack. It is that ‘I need some other Beings around me, and only then do I feel complete’. This is the sense of loneliness which comes from a personal idea of myself. Once I isolate myself to believe ‘I am only this body/mind’ then the feeling of loneliness is bound to occur in this way. But once it is seen that ‘I am this full Awareness, and all phenomenon are arising within me itself; I gave birth to Consciousness as the sense ‘I Am’ and only after the birth of this ‘I Am’ the phenomenal universe is born; therefore all of this is all for me, yet I am completely alone, with no lack and no need’ then that is the full oneness of the Self.
Inquiry: Are You Aware Now?
Satsang is the joy of discovering our true nature, the Beingness that we are, and ultimately the Awareness of even this pure Beingness.
Are you aware now?
Not aware of what, not the content of awareness; but are you aware now? Without applying the mind, the question is: ‘Are you aware now?’
So all of you are saying ‘Yes’. You are aware now. Very good. Just stay with this sense that you are aware now, and open your mind to this question:
What knows this?
What knows about this awareness which is here now?’
Very good. So many of you are saying that ‘It is the awareness itself which knows this’. So the awareness knows of this awareness. Very good.
So what else is this awareness aware of in this moment?
Is it aware that you are here? Are you here? If I was to ask you ‘Are you here?’ and you were to spontaneously answer, you would say ‘Yes’.
Is it a different awareness which knows that you are here, or is it the same awareness?
Is the question clear? Don’t let your mind say that this is too complicated or difficult today. We are not saying anything which is intellectual or difficult. We are just looking at what is here now. Even a child can look at these questions.
“Yes. It is the same awareness.”
So the same awareness is aware that ‘I am aware now’ and it is also aware that ‘I am here now’.
How is this awareness different from you?
Yes, it is the same awareness. Now the question is: How is this awareness different from you? Where are you in relation to this awareness?
Let’s stay with this. It is a beautiful inquiry and very simple. Let’s stay with this: ‘How is this awareness separate from me?’
Yes, so you are saying ‘It is not different. I am this awareness’. Very good.
Now the question is: ‘Can this awareness, which you are saying is the same as you, can this become a person?’
Everyone is saying ‘No, it cannot become a person’.
“It remains untouched.”
Can this awareness suffer?
Very good. Very good. Very good. So in these fifteen minutes we have come to the end of the person and the end of suffering itself.
Let’s start again and go over this once more
It’s good to do it again now. Very good. So let’s start again. It’s a very simple question and you don’t have to apply your mind at all. Just whatever seems so clearly apparent, only type that, without referring to any intellectual knowledge of any sort.
So the first question was: Are you aware now?
The next question is: What is aware of this?
How do you know this; that you aware now?
What knows this?
What knows that awareness is here?
It is more fundamental than the idea of you. It is more fundamental than any phenomena and any concept; but we cannot deny that I know awareness is here; or that I know that I am aware now. So there is an awareness of even awareness.
It’s okay, we are going really slow. Don’t let your mind interfere with this, just stay with me. We said ‘I am aware now; this much is very clear’. There must be an awareness that ‘I am aware now’. That is why we can say it with so much confidence. So there is an awareness that ‘I am aware now’. There is also an awareness that ‘I am being now’ or ‘I am here now’ or just ‘I Am’. There is an awareness that you are. Isn’t it?
“I don’t feel that I am that awareness.”
‘I don’t feel that I am that awareness’. This is just another thought from the mind. But let’s look at this and see: ‘What must you be?’ The whole point of the inquiry is to figure out ‘What must you be?’ So let’s stay with this. We are saying there is an awareness that ‘I am aware now’ and there is an awareness that ‘I Am’. And in a mutated form, there is an awareness that ‘I am here’. Is there this awareness that ‘I am here’?
“Yes, there is awareness, as well as awareness of I am.” “Yes, I am here.”
“This is very much clear.”
So let’s come back. We said that there is an awareness that ‘I am here’. There is an awareness that ‘I am being’ or ‘I am here’. This awareness which is aware that ‘I am aware and aware that I am being’… Is it one awareness, or are there multiple awarenesses? Is it the same awareness? Is this one awareness?
“Same awareness.”
“Same awareness, one awareness.” “It is the same.”
“Mind is fogging up. Is what the same awareness?”
So let’s look at it again. There was an awareness that ‘I am aware now’. Really slow…
There is an awareness that ‘I am aware now’ and there is an awareness that ‘I am here now’. Simple.
I know the mind will try to interrupt; it will pull out all its stops, right here, right now. So we can go really slow. There is an awareness that ‘I am aware now’ and there is an awareness that ‘I am here now’… Is this awareness the same, or are there two different awarenesses, aware of two different things? It’s a very simple question.
“It is all there is.” “One.”
The awareness which is aware of subtlety, is that the same awareness?
“Only one awareness, same awareness.” “One.”
“One awareness.”
Yes, so everybody is here? Everybody says it is the same one awareness? We can take our time.
“It seems awareness comes first and ‘I Am’ is in that awareness.”
Yes, perfect. Exactly what we are saying. Very good. Therefore, this awareness is what we are speaking of; within which even ‘I Am’ arises or gives birth.
This awareness: How far from you is this awareness? Again don’t use your mind, just look: How much distance is there between you and this awareness? What is the point of separation between you and this awareness?
“It seems so obviously one before mind complicates matters, but sometimes I am not conscious of it.”
As what are you not conscious of it? Who knows that you are conscious or not conscious? Is that the same awareness or a different awareness?
The attention goes to the mind as a tool of awareness itself. With the birth of Consciousness there is the birth of this tool called attention, which goes to the mind and tries to keep us distracted from our true nature. But the fact is that our true nature does not change because of this distraction. It’s only that, with the power of belief, we start believing that we are not what we truly are; but that does not change what we are.
“Yes, clearly only one awareness.” “There is no distance.”
“It is one.”
“No separation.”
“No difference. Awareness is everywhere including all I am aware of.” “There is only Awareness / Being.”
“Both merge as one.”
“No distance. I am this awareness.”
“Currently I can’t seem to refer to myself without distancing myself from the fundamental awareness. I am sorry I am so slow at getting this.”
No, no, no, it’s very good. You are not slow at getting this. What you are saying is that ‘I am not able to create a picture of myself which is separate from this awareness’. And this is the point of the whole exercise; so you are actually getting the point.
What we are trying to convey is that the picture that you create of yourself is not You. You are always this Awareness itself.
And what you are saying is the same thing, that when awareness is here and I am deeply engrossed in it, attention is only with this awareness, then I am not able to picture myself as a separate individual. That is because the separate individual requires your imagination. But the Truth is we have always been this Awareness. And Awareness always knows that it is Awareness itself. Therefore it is said that you are always ever-free. It is only that the mind is coming up and saying various things which, because we have the power of belief, we give our belief to it. But you are always only the Awareness itself.
“So if attention is with the mind, the awareness sees this too. The noise of the mind can be used as inquiry. Because there is so much noise; but it is seen. Can this inquiry help if the mind is noisy?”
Yes, this inquiry can help if the mind is noisy. Because in asking the question: ‘Are you aware now?’ it is pointing you straight back home. In some ways it is easier than saying ‘Who am I?’ because to ask directly: ‘Am I aware now?’ is pointing you straight back home.
Can this Awareness become a person?
Now if this is clear, and you are this Awareness itself, how will you become a person? Can this Awareness become a person?
You can only imagine that you are a person; and that is why we say it is an illusion that you are a person.
“Only by picking up a thought can Awareness become a person.”
Yes, only thing I would add there is that only by picking up a thought can we imagine ourselves to become people. Even then we do not become a person, we only imagine it.
So, become interested in something which can never leave you. When we become interested in something that comes and goes, (and all phenomena, all appearances come and go), that is when the potential for suffering begins. You say that ‘I am only interested in awareness’. It is very good because this Awareness is what you are. It is your true nature and it is always with you.
Taking the mystical out of enlightenment
There is nothing mystical in this. We must take out all the specialness around awakening and enlightenment. Because all the specialness makes it seem like it is far, it is unapproachable, it is only for the rare Beings, there is too much magic and mysticism. So let’s make it truly approachable, truly something that is here now; because you are already the Self.
‘I Am’ gives birth inside Awareness
When I was reading ‘I Am That’ [Nisargadatta] Maharaj would keep referring to the sense ‘I Am’. I read the full book; it was wonderful, it was so beautiful, it had such a deep impact on me; but I never got what he meant by the sense ‘I Am’. For a long time I was so frustrated about this sense ‘I Am’ which everybody in the book seems to be understanding. I knew what he is saying is true but I just couldn’t get the ‘I Am’. Mooji was not in my life then, so I couldn’t ask him also. Then one day I was going to my office in an auto-rickshaw, and sitting in the auto-rickshaw it became so clear to me that this Beingness, which is always here, is all that Maharaj is referring to as the sense ‘I Am’. In that moment there was no effort about it. It just arose.
So all you have to do, as Maharaj used to say, is just keep your earnestness and integrity exactly the way it is, and this will unfold for you in satsang. What is being pointed to, if you are already aware of this presence ‘I Am’, is just the Awareness of this Presence ‘I Am’.
The untrue will soon pass
If the mind is coming up with a lot of objections, that is okay, it will pass soon. Just don’t believe that you are not getting something, or everyone seems to be getting it. We cannot actually ever predict or understand what another’s experience is.
Consciousness is playing this game of phenomenon moving in this way. Now when you say you are sucked in, it only means your attention seems fixated with the movement of this person. And your belief gives life to this idea that ‘I must be this person’. But in reality you have never become a person. You have always only been the awareness of it. Therefore, it is okay. That is
what has brought you to satsang, that this defrosting will now happen; and the fixation of attention as a person will start to fade away now.
We are pointing to the Awareness which is aware of the content. There is an awareness of the content, and there is also an awareness that ‘I am aware at the moment’. Right? So when we say ‘Can you stop being aware?’ you know you cannot stop being aware. Therefore, you know You are Awareness; it’s just that your mind will not be able to see this. But in your pure looking, you can see that there is awareness here which cannot be stopped. In the same way as we say ‘Can you stop being now?’ And you say ‘No, I cannot stop being now’. That means that there is an awareness that Beingness is here. The mind will not understand this; it’s alright. But it’s okay just to participate in the inquiry. It becomes clearer and clearer. The Presence and the grace of the Master actually takes care of everything. That is why I say that the only rule here is to stay in satsang, and all will be clear.
Ignore all thoughts about this
Some of you might be feeling that ‘I have got it’ and some of you might be feeling ‘Oh, I have still not got it’. Both these thoughts can now be ignored. They can be let go, just as any other thought. These thoughts try to make us special in some way; in this way or in that way. Just don’t pay any belief to these thoughts. We do not require the proclamation of the mind; we do not even require the clarification of the mind. In the true knowing, so much peace, joy and love arise that other Beings around you will start proclaiming, and still you will find yourself not being able to say anything about yourself at all.
I would say that with Mooji’s grace this inquiry is very powerful, and very simple at the same time. In this very simple way, with this inquiry, the false can now be dissolved very easily. Therefore I feel that this is Mooji’s blessing for all of us. Thank you so much.
May these words coming from the Satguru himself bring all Beings to their complete freedom. Om shanti shanti shanti.
Moojiji ki Jai ! [Namaste]
A Game: Guided Inquiry
Let’s play a little game. Let’s play a little game where we will refuse to indulge the mind. Very playfully, very gently without any force, we just refuse to indulge the mind. When a thought comes, we just stay with the awareness of this thought, but not with the content of the thought. The game is that we refuse to indulge in any thought. We do not entertain it at all, no matter what the content is or how important it might seem in our journey. We just stay as the Awareness itself.
Any thought can come; we are not to indulge in it. What does it mean not to indulge in it? It means not to go with what it is saying, not to pay so much belief to what it is saying. It just means to be with the Awareness itself. There is an awareness of this thought, we just be the Awareness itself. So, we will be the Awareness itself; we will not go along with thoughts. Simply, very playfully with no expectations, nothing is going to happen
So, this is the first thought. This is the first thought we can just ignore. Don’t indulge in any thought that is coming up. No matter how important it might seem, let it go. It is my problem to deal with it. You be the watching of all of this; just be the Awareness itself.
Om namah Shivaya. Moojiji ki Jai.
Let everything come and go. Simply refuse to pick up any thought. It is allowed to come. Don’t force it to come, just be completely unconcerned by what it is saying. Don’t try to stop any thoughts, don’t try to force them out; just be unconcerned with what they are saying.
Accept all the noise and the disturbances. Don’t believe any thoughts about them. Everything is allowed to arise and go in its own time. Don’t have any expectations whatsoever. Stay as Awareness.
If there are some sensations in the body, let them be. Don’t resist them. Everything can arise.
The ego’s voice will resist this right about now. Don’t fight it, just stay as Awareness.
Resistance, negative thoughts, doubt, boredom; any of this might arise. Let it come and let it go. You stay as the Awareness itself.
You don’t need to do anything at all. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Stay uninvolved with your thoughts.
Let all experiences come and go. You are unconcerned. You are Awareness itself.
Stay as the witness. Stay only as the witness.
All thoughts can come and they can go; you stay as the witness of all of them. If there is restlessness, just be the witness of it. Stay as the witnessing.
You are aware of it, it is not aware of you
Bring your attention to the body. Keep your attention with the body.
Become aware of your body. Stay with the body.
You are aware of your body. Your body is not aware of you.
Now bring your attention to your breath. Be with your breath completely; follow it as it flows in and out. You are aware of the breath; the breath is not aware of you.
Bring your attention to your thoughts; let any thought arise.
Welcome your next thought; become aware of your thoughts.
You are aware of your thoughts; your thoughts are not aware of you.
Bring your attention to any emotion that is arising; be completely open to all emotions. You are aware of your emotions; your emotions are not aware of you.
Bring your attention to the feeling that you are here. The feeling I am here. Become aware of this feeling of ‘I Am-ness’.
Stay with the sense that you are here.
You are here; you know that you are here; just stay with this feeling of Presence. You are aware of your Presence; the Presence is not aware of you.
You know that you are aware. This is awareness of Awareness. Stay as this Awareness. You know that you are aware right now; stay as this Awareness.
As this Awareness, you are completely untouched by all phenomena, by all appearances. Stay as this untouched Awareness.
Allow all thoughts to come and allow them to go. In their own time, they can come and go. You are the eternal witness, unchanging, undying, untouched.
May you always stay as this Awareness.
Om namah Shivaya.
Om shanti shanti shanti.
Moojiji ki Jai. [Namaste]
Chapter 5
Our True Position
Who is Aware of This Witnessing?
Do you feel that you have a clearer understanding of your true nature now? If there are some sticky areas that still remain, we can go through those, and see if they can be cleaned out. Because for me, it seems like what is being said is so simple that the instant that you hear it, it should be completely clear. But I remember that in my own case, it was not that simple; it took a while. There were some doubts, some issues needed to be resolved, some things needed to be exposed. I’m completely open to that. So we can look at if there are some areas which appear, which still remain. Then we can look at those, we can expose them; and let’s see how we can deal with those.
“I just don’t know. I feel more confused than ever.”
In this there’s a reference to a certain ‘I’. Can you identify this ‘I’? Let’s start from there. You referred to yourself as this ‘I’. Can you identify this ‘I’?
What does this ‘I’ look like? The feeling can be anything, the feeling arises and it goes, but this ‘I’ that is feeling left behind, what does this one look like?
Don’t get mixed up, keep it completely simple. Don’t follow your mind so much. Nothing to get mixed up. You are just saying that you are referring to yourself as ‘I-I-I’ who is this ‘I’? What does it look like?
“I don’t know what it looks like because the looker becomes very shaky when it’s looked at.”
How do you know it is the looker? How do you know that this ‘I’ that is frustrated? This ‘I’ that doesn’t want to lie, that gets mixed up; how do you know that it is the looker? Is it just imagination? Do you have any evidence that it is the looker?
“I feel big movement in my body and chest when I look at ‘I’. I’m afraid of these. It doesn’t feel like imagination. It feels really real.”
Let’s look at this. You said that the looker or the witness becomes shaky, no? Is that witness not witnessing the shakiness also? Does the witness itself become shaky?
That which is witnessing; does that become shaky? Just stay with me. It’s okay. The inquiry is helpful for everyone that is here. The question is: the witness of the shakiness, is that also shaken? Or is the witness apart from the shaking?
“This witness that sees everything, I can refer to it but can’t seem to be it.”
So, right now we’re not saying that ‘you are it’. Right now, we haven’t crossed that bridge. Just take it slow. We’re just saying that there is something that is witnessing. Frustration, it is
witnessing, shakiness, it is witnessing, the body moving; all of these things are witnessed. All of these things are witnessed. But is the witness touched by any of this? Or is it just watching all of this?
So, the witness is there that witnesses all movement. All phenomenon is going up and down, but the witness is unmoving. Can you confirm that? We can confirm if the witness is unchanging; or if the witness also changes.
“The witness just sees. It is unmoving.”
Very good. This is excellent so far. Now stay with me. We’ve said that the witness is unmoving. For it to be an entity that is unmoving, it has to have some shape or some attributes, isn’t it? For the witness to be an entity, it has to have some attributes, because all entities have some attributes, and they exist in time and space. This witness; can you tell me even one attribute about it? Tell me something about it. Let’s leave the mind aside. Let’s just be here right now. So, the witness is unmoving. Can we say anything about this witness which would be an attribute? No thinking is required; only a looking.
“It has a kind of here-ness.”
So you know that it is present, that the witness is present. Very good. That’s why you can say ‘I am aware now. I am witnessing now; and it is unchanging continuity’. Very good. But, does it have any physical attributes? Does it have any attributes in time and space, something that moves, something that can be touched?
“No physical attributes, not a part of time.”
Therefore, you can only say two things about it. One, that it is witnessing. And second, that it is here now. There is witnessing, and it is here now. But it is not here as an entity. Therefore, it is better that we don’t use the word ‘witness’ but we say ‘the witnessing itself is here’. Because when we say ‘witness’ it gives it some attributes, it makes it sound like an entity. But all that we know is that the witnessing is here now. Isn’t it?
“It is still not me.”
We’re not even there yet, so don’t jump, don’t rush. We’re just looking at the witnessing itself. This is clear? The witnessing is here. That much we can say, yes?
“Yes, it is not an active witness, just the continuous account of everything.”
Very good. So, now let’s come to the next step. Who sees this witness? Who is aware of this witnessing? There is a witnessing of this, isn’t it? You are able to say that the witnessing is here. Therefore there is a witnessing of the witnessing. There is an awareness of this awareness also. Otherwise how would you be able to report that awareness is here; that witnessing is here?
“I, as a confused person, becoming aware of this witnessing by referring to it.”
No, no, no. Slow down now. This confused person is who? It is only something that have made up. So we are keeping it very simple now; no need to imagine anything at all. You said that there is a witnessing that is unmoved and untouched. I am saying that to perceive this witnessing would need witnessing itself, isn’t it? The power to witness must still be here. Otherwise, how would you know this?
Stay with that. What is this awareness? What is this witnessing?
“Lots of mental pictures of various kinds flood in my mental screen when I look.”
Let them come, it’s okay. The witnessing, as we said, is untouched. But there’s a witnessing of even this witnessing. Otherwise you would not be able to report that there is a witnessing. The simple question is: Are these two witnessings separate, or are they one?
“I see that much.”
This witnessing is self-aware. Don’t worry if it’s not making sense; you stay. All I’m saying is simply that you are seeing that this witnessing simply is. There is a witnessing of this witnessing also, which means that it is self-aware.
Don’t get lost in the mind, don’t get lost in the words of the mind. Come back to the witnessing itself. All thoughts, all experiences; there is a witnessing of them. And the witnessing is here now. We all checked and said ‘Yes. The witnessing is here now, and it is unmoved, untouched by any phenomenon’. We all said this. We can check again. The witnessing is untouched by any phenomenon. To be able to report this, there must be a witnessing of this also. So, is this witnessing separate from the witnessing of all other phenomenon, or is it the same?
“No difference.”
There is no difference. We just have to use a different word sometimes, because some words become clichés. If we say ‘awareness’ then it becomes that ‘I never understood this word’. So, sometimes I say ‘seeing’ ‘perceiving’ ‘witnessing’. We use different words just so that the mind doesn’t come into play with its resistances.
“This is the first time I realized I can be aware of this witnessing also.”
Yes, the awareness of awareness, the witnessing of witnessing, is the only non-phenomenal experience that we can have. Everything else is a phenomenal experience. Only the awareness of awareness is a non-phenomenal experience.
“That is the ‘I’. Looking at it, one gets dissolved, and lots of bliss is left.”
And who sees all of this? Who sees the dissolving and the appearing of bliss? That is the question.
“It is here. I am here. There are also beliefs about various obstacles being settled in this passive seeing.”
So, ‘It is here’ and ‘I am here’, are these two separate? You are here as what?
Where am I in relation to this witnessing?
Now let’s come to the next step, which is to say ‘Okay, this witnessing is here. And this witnessing is witnessing everything, all phenomenon, and itself. Where am I in relation to this? Stay with this; it is very simple. There is a witnessing of everything. Where am I in relation to this witnessing?
“It is here = I am here.”
Very good.
“The witnessing is happening, and it is very peaceful. But then I seem to get lost after that. When I go to look at what is witnessing, it feels like there is stuckness.”
Yes, yes. So, keep it very simple. You can see that there is a witnessing. There is an awareness of even this witnessing. That is why the words seem confusing. So, there is a witnessing of even this witnessing; that is why you are able to report, because there is a witnessing happening. No?
You can see that there is witnessing happening; therefore there is witnessing of a witnessing happening. Are these two witnessings, or is it just one witnessing? Don’t let your mind interfere with this question, it’s very simple. You said that there is a witnessing happening. Therefore, you saw that there was a witnessing happening. This seeing the witnessing; is that a different witnessing or is it the same?
It cannot be seen phenomenally, but are you aware now? If you are aware now, you are aware of the ultimate witness. The ultimate witness itself is aware of itself.
Don’t create imagery of something being ultimate; it is here now. It is your very own Self. Don’t use any imagination, any knowledge from the past, just be here now. You are aware that you are aware now. This is Awareness being aware of itself. There is no other ultimate witness. This is the ultimate witnessing. There is no ‘witness’ [entity].
“The ‘I’ that gets confused/frustrated is witnessed.”
Very good. Great.
“It must be the same. The ‘who really wants to get it’ is seen.”
Very good. It is seen. It is seen as our own imagination; not even seen to have a phenomenal existence on this plane of time and space. It is only seen as something which is conjured up or imagined. So, all our lives we are catering to this conjured up, imagined entity, we are dancing to the tunes of this imagined entity, instead of being the Awareness itself. This is the root of satsang, to clear this misunderstanding. To clear this is the point of all our satsangs.
The discerning intellect of Consciousness
From when I had asked, ‘What’s left?’ she says ‘There’s this feeling of division between pure seeing and what comes through’. Yes. It does seem that way. Pure seeing is untouched by whatever is coming through. But there’s an understanding that there’s only this Awareness, so all is coming through inside this Awareness itself. It is reliant on this Awareness; Awareness is not reliant on what is coming through. But without Awareness, nothing else can come through; nothing else can be perceived phenomenally. Therefore we say that this is the play of Consciousness itself. So, from this pure Seeing, seems to give birth this pure Being; and this one Being is the doer of everything that happens.
“It judges anything of personal reference as not-truth.”
That, which you’re referring to is the intellect which discerns between what is true and not true. Intellect is like the attributes of the mind, which is able to discern ‘Okay, this thought is true, this thought is not true; this is real, this is not real’. This is an energy form from within Consciousness itself called the intellect. And the intellect is observed in the form of these kind of decisions or calls that it is making.
Simple and obvious
“I can’t find any witness beyond this. I tried to look but when I reach here, I start to lose awareness.”
We are saying that it is the same witness; there is only one witness, and you are this pure Awareness itself. Are you the one running here and there looking for something? Or are you the Witnessing itself? Are you the Awareness itself?
There is no need to struggle, no need to work hard; the answer is available instantly. The instant we answer the question ‘Are you aware now?’ this question points us to our true nature instantly; if it is done with some openness; not as an intellectual exercise, but with the innocence of a child.
This is the openness. Doubt can stay, resentment, fear, all of these can stay. Let them do whatever they have to do. You be unconcerned. You be unconcerned and they will pass. This too shall pass.
“I am aware now.”
Just answering this simple question is the root of all Advaita, all scripture, all self-inquiry. It is that simple, and this obvious. Because you can feel that you are aware now means that there is an awareness of even Awareness. And this Awareness is the same. That is it. It is pretty much it.
That is why sometimes, when there are not new people here, that maybe the only satsang required would be to ask this question: Are you aware now?
Nothing at all needs to be projected anywhere. No need for any imagination, thinking, intellect; none of it is required. To even say ‘I Am’ seems like a bit of a stretch. In ‘I Am’ is the birth of the entire Universe. Just this I-Awareness is what we are; the pure I-Awareness itself. When the ‘I Am’ is born inside us, then this world of duality takes birth. There cannot be a world of phenomenon without this birth of this ‘I Am’. Therefore, to come back home to our true understanding of ourselves as pure Awareness itself is the point of satsang.
To surrender it, dissolves it
“Something wants to ask questions, to tell how difficult it is. There is some attraction to it. Please take it.”
When you’re offering it, it is taken. That means once you see that it is there, and you’re willing to surrender it, then it cannot last for long. As long as you refuse to pick it up again, I will not give it back to you. Let nothing even imagined remain. Let the fire burn; let it burn everything imagined. Everything can go into this fire of satsang.
In this understanding, all concepts are now thrown into the fire. All our learning, all of the intellectual understanding, all of it now can be discarded. You don’t need any crutches now. Our freedom is ever-free. It does not rely on anything at all. Our true nature is the unmoving one.
“Some reluctance to say ‘thank you’ but the truth is that I am very grateful.”
It’s very good. This integrity, this honesty will be very useful for you. Because your mind can hate me as much as it likes, but I know that in your Heart, you love me completely, because I am your own Heart which is speaking through this one. I am your own Heart speaking through this body.
What It Means to Not Resist
What does it mean to be non-resisting of life? What does it mean to not resist life? Does it mean that the body will become passive? Does it mean that no actions will happen through us? Let’s look at all these concepts today.
Very often we say ‘Be completely open to whatever is arising; not to resist’. So, be completely open to whatever is arising right now, but don’t give any meaning to anything that is coming up. Let it come and let it go. Everything is allowed to come and allowed to go. In this state, words can be spoken, actions can happen; all can happen on its own without any attachment or meaning given to that which is temporary. If you must get attached or give meaning to something, let’s give it to something that is going to stay forever. It’s as simple as that, isn’t it? The instant we attach ourselves to something which is going to go, that means we have put ourselves in the position which has a potential for future misery. Therefore it is best to be attached only to that which is permanent.
The mind will say that this is a sacrifice; that we must sacrifice something. This is not true. Because that which is temporary is not real anyway; it is just another appearance in Consciousness. Non-attachment does not mean non-loving. The love is allowed to flow on its own. It only means that in the absence of that, we don’t suffer. Non-attachment only means that if something is not present, it does not cause suffering. It does not mean that we will start living like rocks, unfeeling, uncaring. In fact, in the complete openness of the moment, pure love, peace and joy will flow. But then you cannot have a problem. There might be practical issues that continue, and practical resolutions which could be required, but you will see that this all flows on its own.
You don’t need to invent a person to sort out any practical issue. Is everyone clear that ‘the person’ is just an invention? Is everyone completely clear about this? Another way to look at it is: Is there any part of the ‘person’ which is not just in my imagination? Which part of the ‘person’ is not just in my imagination? Which part of the ‘person’ can survive without a belief in a thought?
It seems that the ‘person’ can become strong during daily activities. This is a common question that I am getting these days. Therefore, when those moments come, when the first glimpse of awareness as to what is happening comes, just check if the person is real. Don’t beat yourself up about those moments where something just happened in the past. The instant that there is awareness that ‘I seem to be coming from a personal place’ just check for the reality of the person. In fact, the instant that the awareness comes that ‘This is coming from a personal place’ then the strength of the personal push, the personal momentum will become a lot less on its own. That is all that needs to be done.
If we get into speculation of whether this will happen in the future, or into a post-mortem of why it has happened in the past, then that is asking for more trouble. All that is required is that, in this moment, we are free. The mind wants a guarantee about the future as well, or it wants an explanation of the past. But the future and the past don’t exist. It is only the present moment which is real.
Satsang is the inquiry, where the words are pushing you into this true understanding; and the Presence is pushing you into this understanding. If you were to ask right now: ‘Where is this person?’ then what is the answer that you would get?
Not wanting to accept what is happening
“Someone or something gets angry at the thought that I have to accept everything as it happens.”
Let’s look at this. You cannot not accept that something is happening. When it is appearing, you can’t say that it must not appear, because that is arguing with this apparent reality. This play of Consciousness cannot be argued with. But this does not mean that action cannot flow through your body, it does not mean it is a passive acceptance. Because in the same way that Consciousness is playing the world around you, it is playing your own body, and the words that are coming through your mouth, and the actions that are playing through your hands. In fact, what we are ultimately saying is that it is not your mouth and your hands; all belongs to Consciousness itself.
Strong reactions can happen, strong judgments can happen, all can happen in the moment. But you will find that you won’t be able to hold on to these; and that time will keep reducing. When I say ‘momentarily’ for some of you it could mean ten minutes, for some of you it could mean five minutes and for some of you it could mean just ten seconds. Again, there are no certificates to be had about all of this, because there are some strong energetic forces which can move through this body. So we are not going to say that if you got stuck for five minutes that means you are not free, but if you got stuck for only ten seconds that means you are free. That is falling into another trap. But what can be seen from experience is that usually this time seems to keep reducing; that you are not able to hold on to these feelings of anger, resentment, judgment. All of this will not last for long because in complete openness, actually nothing can last.
There is an awareness of the loving vibration, and there is an awareness of the voice of the mind. The Awareness is untouched by either of them.
Initially, just a little bit of vigilance is required because for some it can seem like it happens automatically that ‘I go with my thoughts’. Therefore a little bit of vigilance is required. It can seem like effort initially, and that is fine. The realization that it is not effort but the letting go of effort will happen eventually. Initially, if it does seem like effort to let go of your thoughts, then effort it is. But how it starts off seeming like we automatically go with our thoughts, it will end up being like we automatically let go of our thoughts. Then it will seem like it is an effort to pick up a thought, which is the true state.
“Can Awareness express anger and resentment through me even if I don’t create a false person?”
Yes, in the form of Consciousness all can be expressed. It is usually found that it becomes less and less, but there is no rule that Consciousness can or cannot express certain things after freedom, or after realizing that there is no person. In any case there is no person, and it is Consciousness alone which is doing all of this anyway. It’s also nice to see: ‘Who is interested in
what Consciousness is expressing?’ Are we inventing a personal interest in how Consciousness works? The mind can be very sneaky, it can be very tricky sometimes.
The mind can say that you are lonely, you need a companion; all of this rubbish the mind can say. But once this understanding becomes clearer and clearer that ‘I am the only one. I am the One’ then that is the true meaning of oneness or aloneness. You are all there is anyway. Then how can you have a companion? Who can be God’s companion? Who does God need? Is all not arising from him anyway?
The realization is that you can never become a person. You can only imagine yourself to be a person. When suffering occurs then you know that there was imagination of this person. There can be strong words spoken through this mouth without any suffering. It can all come from a non-personal place. But if there is suffering then that can be your barometer; that is your compass to check whether you are imagining yourself to be something false or not. Very quickly after we imagine this false idea to be ourself, then suffering comes; and that is beautiful grace. It’s a great instrument to check on what is real and what is not. Without this instrument, then these ideas or imaginations could go on forever actually.
Only a false idea that ‘I must be this puny bucket of flesh and blood’ can give rise to feelings of loneliness, inadequacy or any kind of lack. There is a freedom seen, as all of these concepts are burnt into the fire, are let go of. You will find yourself more space, more freedom; more room will be here.
Just remember that because we imagine ourselves to be a person does not make it true. We are still the Supreme One alone. Just because I believe the daydream does not make the daydream real; it only makes it seem real. There is a big difference between seeming real and being real.
Burn all your thoughts into the holy fire of satsang. They are not in service to you. And you definitely must not be in service to them. Stop being a servant of your thoughts. Fire this ‘servant of the mind’ and you will find that your true servants are ever present. Love peace and joy are ever-present in your service.
Planning for the future
“There seems to be imagination here of being a person at times, when trying to plan for the future.”
There is no harm for it to be practically done in this way. If we have to plan an appointment for next week, there is no harm if we open our calendar or we refer to our memory for what the plans were, and to decide and plan in this way. Just do not be attached to your plans. Give no plan the ability to make you suffer; then it is all fine. In that way you are using the mind, memory as practical tools. But don’t rely on this for any emotional, psychological life advice or guidance of any sort. Only for very practical things like keeping appointments.
No concept is true
Don’t believe any thought, even the thought which is trying to create a framework of your freedom; or the thoughts which are creating a step by step plan for your freedom. Find your freedom first, here now, and then refuse to pick up any thoughts, no matter how helpful they may sound. All concepts will eventually be discarded. No concept is true. At best they can be pointers to the Truth. You are the Truth.
Does evolution disprove the Presence of God?
Consciousness is beating your heart, Consciousness is breathing your breath. It was not a group of people that decided that ‘hearts must beat at 70 beats per minute’. It was not a group of people that created the laws of motions and physics. It was not a group of people that decided organisms would evolve in these particular ways. It is very funny to me when certain groups of people say evolution proves or disproves the Presence of God. In fact, evolution proves the Presence of God. What is the Supreme Intelligence that keeps track of how Beings must evolve, how bodies must evolve, how species must evolve? What is that Supreme Intelligence? That is You; that is Consciousness itself.
If you want freedom, everything is pointing you back home in this very moment. And if you want to play the game, everything is distracting you away from this moment. Both are present here; both possibilities are present. This is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness itself. God is speaking to God and asking ‘Have we had enough?’ God does not mean a voice from the heavens or a Being sitting on top of some mountain. God is our own indestructible Beingness, the ever-present One.
Ego Rests on the Concept of Doership
Let’s take a deep breath in, and breathe out. It seems automatic in this case, that I must have done this. I must have taken the breath in and I breathed out. Let’s try it again. But the ‘I’ that took the deep breath in and took the breath out, which ‘I’ was that? Who was this ‘I’? The Truth is this close to us. Who is the one that breathes in and breathes out? Can we identify that one? What does it look like?
We take breathing as an example, as opposed to thinking or beating the heart, because breathing seems to be something which seems so clear that ‘breathing I must be doing’. When asked to look into our thoughts, we realize very quickly that I am not creating the thought, and it’s very obvious that I am not beating my heart; but with breathing it still seems to be possible to carry a sense of doership. So can we look within, and check for the one who takes the breath in and takes the breath out? Where is this one? What does it look like?
“Without the efforting-I, it is just happening.”
Can we look into the reality of this ‘efforting-I’? Is it not just a happening irrespective of whether we conjure up this ‘efforting-I’?
“Can we say it is an expression of ‘I’ in Consciousness?”
Let us find out whether this expression of ‘I’ is in any way separate from Consciousness itself. Some of this will come as an intuitive insight to you. Don’t try too hard to understand it. Some of you might even be reacting to this. The mind might be reacting strongly and saying ‘What is he saying? Obviously I am the one who is breathing’. So if all these reactions are coming, that is good. That means the mind is feeling threatened. Stay with me for a little longer and question this basic belief. In questioning this basic belief, the strongest concept of doership will also start dissolving now. Where is that ‘I’ that decides to breathe?
“There is no breather; just breath happening.”
If this is clear for you, then you will see that all actions are just happening on their own. Then post-facto, we come and say that ‘I was the doer’. Sometimes pre-facto, we come and say ‘I will be doing this’. But this individual doer-entity is not to be found anywhere at all.
When you ask this question it is also Consciousness asking. All doing is of Consciousness itself. That is what we are coming to inquire and to see. Because on this concept of doership, the ego resides. The ego rests on this concept of doership.
In the purest state, you are only the Awareness itself, the observing itself. Then there is a modulation of this, and this becomes Consciousness. And as Consciousness, You are the one doer, but not you-as-a-person. Can you see the contradiction here? Because most of us are now seeing the person does not exist, but there is a great refusal to believe that the person does not do any actions. That seems to be a blank spot for many of us, where we can see that the person now does not exist, but we cannot let go of personal doership.
“But it is feeling as if I am the doer.”
Yes, that feeling; is it not just another appearance? Can we bring this doer to the witness box today?
“I find great peace in being Awareness, but what of my family and job?”
So you say ‘I find great peace in being Awareness’. In what way can you become anything else? In what way can you become anything else? Is there a moment where you are not the Awareness? Are you not the Awareness right now? When you are with your family, are you something else? When you are in your job, are you not Awareness? Can you become that not- awareness, and show me now? Can you testify to this becoming a person?
This pillar of doership, once dissolved, shows the ego has no legs to stand on. We have already demolished most of the identity, most of the beliefs that the ego has thrown. One of the strongest beliefs is that ‘I must be a doer’. And even that will get inquired into and now completely dissolve. Then only freedom remains. Even after you believe the thought that ‘I will do something now to prove that I am the doer’ you will see that the action is happening on its own; there is no individual controller who is driving specific movements.
Science verifying there is no individual doer
Science is now also coming to this conclusion. There was a study done by the BBC in which they said that 6 seconds before the hand is meant to move, the brain is already passing impulses to prepare the hand to move; even before the thought came that ‘I must move my hand’. Even before the thought came that ‘I will move my hand’ the impulses are getting ready for the movement of the hand.
So even science is coming to this conclusion now, that it is pure Consciousness that is doing these actions. The idea of personal doership will seem very primitive after a hundred years. It will seem like a laughable idea. Just like in the past, Beings believed that the world was flat, and there was great skepticism about the concept that the world was actually round; in today’s world, although science is starting to discover that the existence of the personal doer is just not possible, there is great skepticism in day-to-day life about this concept. But maybe after a century or two, it will be very normal for all Beings to understand this.
Leave it to Consciousness
You just have to do one simple thing, let go of all your thoughts and don’t worry about the actions that are happening through your body. Let go of all your thoughts, and auspiciousness will flow through your body. Therefore leave it to Consciousness itself, what is going to happen. Don’t decide to do or to not do. ‘I will’ implies that you are an individual doer. Don’t make an individual decision to do or to not do. Just be completely neutral to the flow of life. Otherwise, I like to say that ‘We like to control the flow of a river with a small twig in our hands; and this twig is not even real’. The flow of life is so enormous and everything is so connected in this play
of Consciousness. Even to presume a little bit of doership would be a great sign of arrogance without even knowing that it is arrogance.
Motivation as a concept
“But in this neutrality to the flow of life, there is no motivation required to work/earn.”
If motivation was required to work or earn, then that would mean there is an individual which needs to be motivated. No? So, if there is an individual which needs to be motivated, can we identify this one? Consciousness is all there is in the phenomenal world, it is doing all the actions anyway. It does not require motivation. And who would motivate Consciousness? So, motivation as a concept implies that there must be an individual person that needs to be motivated to work, to earn the money; but this person does not exist, it cannot be found. God can run the entire universe. He has no trouble with work or with earning.
So who are you trying to motivate? Let’s find this one. Because the mind is probably saying ‘All of this is okay for satsang, but when I go back into ‘the real world’ then what happens? I need that motivation, I need that drive, I need that condition’. If we give belief to these thoughts, we are again imagining ourselves to be just this puny person.
The greatest mystery
I am saying that you are God itself. All the Masters have said that you are That. I am That. We are One. And this realization has made them supremely happy. No one who has got the realization of the Self says ‘No, no, I want to go back to that life of the person again’. Why is that? If the person was so important, and we need the person to work, to earn, to take care of the family, to run the responsibilities; if the person was required so much, then why is it that a self- realized Being has never said ‘No, no, I want to go back to the personal idea’.
For too long have we confused ourselves and presumed that we must be this tiny bucket of flesh and blood. For too long have we convinced ourselves that ‘I must just be this idea of an individual’. For too long have we resisted the question ‘Who am I?’ And if you have truly had enough, it is over now.
Just let go of any thought and let all actions happen. The world is absolutely fine. The only thing that makes it not fine is our mental interpretation of it. We truly do not know what anything is for. So don’t try to understand what something is for mentally. Just trust that Consciousness is moving beautifully in its own pattern, in its own way. All of us are the Supreme itself and don’t even have a clue about it. We are the one supreme Lord. But we have convinced ourselves somehow in this divine leela, divine maya, that ‘I must be this separate person’. That is the great divine mystery, as to how Awareness itself, pure Awareness, could take first the form of Consciousness and then convince itself that it must be an entity, a small entity, in this play of Consciousness. That is the greatest mystery.
Let whatever is happening happen. Let it flow. You just be the Self. What does that mean? You can never not be the Self. What it means is, don’t imagine yourself to be something else. As long
as there is a sense of doership, of an individual doership, all you have to do is let go of your thoughts. And when this sense is completely dissolved, then it will be seen that even the letting go of thoughts was pure grace itself.
Trust makes all the difference
“What about if it seems that Consciousness is not taking care of things?”
When you are in that moment when the judgment comes, you are not staying in awareness anymore. Only the mind can interpret the content of life. You cannot make deals with Consciousness like this, that ‘I will surrender, but make sure you take care of the person’. That is why trust and faith in the Master, and in Consciousness and God itself, makes all the difference.
Most of us try to make it into an intellectual understanding. We try to cut a deal with God and say ‘Okay, I surrender, but just make sure the person’s life is going well’. If you have understood that you are Consciousness, if you have understood that you are pure Awareness from where this Consciousness comes from, then who is worried about whether life is going properly or not?
When you surrender, then you close the door to the mind. Stop making a judgment about life, and don’t give too much importance to hypothetical situations. You try it out; experiment; and then if this happens, you report back in satsang that ‘I surrendered, and my life became a mess’. Let’s try it for a few days, and then report in satsang whether or not ‘I tried, and my life became a mess’. Then we can look at it. But I can tell you that nobody who has truly surrendered has gone on to regret it; and has asked for the non-surrendered state back. Nobody.
Resting in Awareness does not mean that we rest in awareness as a person. Resting in Awareness means to merge; not through identity; it means to be Awareness itself. Awareness does not make a judgment about the content of life. Awareness is completely unconcerned if the dream is a happy dream, or if it is a nightmare. It is only that which is identified as a dreamer that wants to say that ‘I don’t want this to be a nightmare. I want this to be a happy dream’.
The Presence of the Master in your Heart
The sober seeing is very good. Because if we get attached to the states of bliss and joy, then we still believe there is a person who is attached to these states of joy and bliss. At this moment, I am that Awareness itself. That is very, very beautiful. There is none more blessed than the one that feels the Presence of the Master in their heart. No amount of riches, no amount of any sort of wealth, can pull this one away from his Master’s feet. Give me the entire universe, or give me my Master’s feet; the choice is always, always very clear. I will only pick my Master’s feet. If you feel you have a choice, then choose to never leave the Master’s feet; and your life will become a beautiful, beautiful happy dream.
Being Free in This Very Moment
What could be wrong in this moment? In this moment, be completely here now. What is here now? Taste this moment completely. [Silence]. What is here now is all there ever is. Ignore everything that has to do with the past or with the future. Tell me about the ‘right now’.
You say ‘There is a fear I might not realize myself in this life’. Don’t worry about this life. Realize yourself now. It is always about now. In the now, how are you bound? How are you not the Self? What needs to be realized? Can you show me how you’re not free?
What is the expectation? Where must we be? When we open the eyes, are we in the body? Where inside the body? If we were to ask a surgeon to cut up the body, would they find you? Are you in the body, or is the body inside you? Don’t look to the mind for this answer. When we go to sleep at night, and there is a dream, there also appears a body, and it appears that I am in the body, but where am I truly?
Who is the one who is identified? Is it the body? The body is only an innocent instrument. It is not even that problematic actually. If you look at your last 10 reasons for suffering, maybe only one or two could have been related to the body. The other reasons are related to interpersonal issues, some other Being, some other relationship, about the money in the bank, about wanting to get somewhere, about wanting freedom. Are these the issues of the body? And if they’re not the issues of the body, then they are the issues of a person. Where is this person?
Who is grasping this information within me when you speak?
It is not the body which is understanding; that much is clear. So first, look at the hypothesis which you had, which was ‘I truly believe that I am the body’. But as you start inquiring now, you will see that the identification with the body is not so strong actually. It is the identification with the imagined person. The imagined person, who has no existence; that is the mis- identification. So it’s an excellent question to ask: ‘Who is grasping this information within me when you speak?’ It is Consciousness itself which is speaking, and is Consciousness itself who is assimilating. If there is a person who is understanding any of this, can you show me where this person is? What does it look like?
It is usually a fallacy to believe that most of us are believing that we are these bodies. Very few of us believe that we are these bodies, and those ones don’t have so much suffering actually. Because the needs of the body are very few. If there is some pain, it needs some attention; otherwise it is absolutely fine as an instrument. But it is this idea of being a person which is problematic. It is this one that is interpreting the reality; the interpreter that ‘life should be like this or should not be like this’. That one is the one causing the problem. And it does not really exist; it is just an imagination.
As you stay in satsang, as many Beings have realized, you will come to the true seeing of yourself; which only means that you will let go of all that is unreal. It is not that a new reality will be created for you. It is not that you will constantly be in an out-of-body state; or that you
will constantly be in a near-death-experience state. It is not about states. Realization is not a state. It is only an understanding of what we have always been.
If you confuse it for a state, if you confuse it for the by-products, if you confuse it for the miracles, if you confuse it for the experiences, then (if you give belief to those) that will become your spiritual ego. Therefore it is very good if no experiences, no metaphysical things, no miracles are happening, but there is a pure sober seeing of: ‘Am I this person, really?’ Where is this person?
‘Who am I?’ means ‘Am I this person who I am confusing myself to be? And if I’m not, am I not just the Awareness of all that arises? Am I separate from pure Awareness in any way?’ And as we keep looking, it becomes clearer and clearer that ‘I have always been only this Awareness, within which even pure Consciousness or the sense ‘I Am’ takes birth’.
If the mind is not understanding these things; it is fine. We’re attempting to bypass the mind. Only Consciousness is speaking to Consciousness. So, stay in satsang for a while, and you will see that all the false will start dissolving, and the Truth will reveal itself on its own. The revelation of the Truth actually is only a dissolving of the false. It is not a new creation.
So the search for Truth is not about reforming the mind, and making it change its ways. It is only about divesting the power that the mind seems to have. When we stop listening to this monkey- mind, we listen to the voice of our inner intuition; but until that inner intuition is clear, we listen to the voice of the outer Guru. Then everything will get sorted out very soon.
The Self can play all the roles needed in life
The Self does not need to rely on an identity. The Self automatically can play all the roles on its own. It can be a worker, it can be a mother, it can be a father, it can be a son, it can be a daughter. In the moment, we are guided to behaving exactly in the way that it unfolds. Letting go of identity does not mean that we’re to stop playing all these roles. It does not mean that we have to quit our jobs, leave our homes; it does not mean that we have to renounce the world. The only thing that needs to be renounced is our thoughts. Stop giving beliefs to your thoughts. Nothing else needs to be renounced. And then you will see that everything just unfolds auspiciously as it is meant to.
Fire the Judgmental Interpreter
This one that is judging life, just make him jobless. It is very simple actually. Just fire the interpreter. As Mooji says, he will keep coming back to work, but you keep firing him again. Then one day you will find that it is gone. He shows up from time to time, but he has no power whatsoever. He has no credibility in his interpretations. Divest it of any belief, then he will lose all credibility for you, and that is freedom. It is that simple.
The first step seems to be that there seems to be a voice in our heads, called the mind, with energy forces called thoughts, which are perceived. We give them our attention and belief. And giving these our attention and belief, we start believing that ‘I must be a person’. But if you were
to just let them go, not pick them up, then that would be freedom, Awareness itself. So, if there is some openness, and if you would just trust these words, then there is nothing much left to talk about. All that is needed is to fire the interpreter in our heads.
All can be used for freedom
“Lots of buttons getting pushed lately, that I didn’t realize were still there so strongly.”
That is the beauty about this life, that is the beauty of this Universe, that whatever needs to be transcended will show up very quickly. If it is freedom that you want, then we will transcend those. If you want the rise of the ego, then all of these can actually be used to make the person stronger, to make the imagined-person stronger. But if it’s freedom that you want, all that can come up is just another way to transcend.
I don’t want to say that with Self-realization there will always be miraculous events or some beautiful unfolding around, because the mind will make some expectation about it, and in this way itself, you will lose your freedom. This freedom is not dependent upon any states which are appearing. If our freedom was dependent upon a state, then I would not call it freedom. Then I would call it a dependency on a state. The freedom that we are pointing to is the freedom from all the states. Any state can arise, but we are unconcerned.
If there is this integrity in our heart to find our complete freedom, and there is only earnestness for this, then even the most horrifically-seeming effects will be seen to be grace.
The beauty of what is true
Attention can go back to the things which we are identified with, but then awareness comes that ‘This is what has happened’. So just let go at that point of time. That is all that is required. Don’t start feeling that you have lost something, or that you are now this person. Becoming a person never can actually happen. That is the beauty of what is true. The false can never be real; and the true one is ever-present. Even if there were moments or some times where this imagination of being a person was prevalent, that is okay. In reality, nothing really changed. Just when that awareness came that ‘I seem to be identifying strongly with this person again’ just drop the thought at that point of time. Just drop the identity at that point of time, because now is all there is. All that is relevant is the now. It is not about whether you found freedom in the past, it is not about whether you will find freedom in the future; it is about being free in this very moment, every moment.
Are love and Awareness one?
If you’re using love as a term to denote Consciousness, then that could be said to be true. But love for me is a force, is an energy which is present after the birth of Consciousness; the pure Beingness itself. I can understand why you would call it that, and it’s okay that you would perceive it that way, because it is not about the definition. But the way it appears here is that in the pure Seeing arises this pure Being which has no attributes whatsoever; just a beingness, just a beingness. In this Beingness, there arrive other energies like peace, like joy, like love; also there
are forces like attention, like belief, like identity which are given birth, after the birth of this Beingness. Yes, some mystics have called this Beingness itself Love; but the way it appears here, for me love is another energy which is formed from this Beingness itself.
Can you stop watching now?
“I cannot connect with that watching.”
Okay. So, can you stop that watching now?
“No.”
So, you are aware right now that you cannot stop the watching. Therefore you are aware that the Awareness is there. You are aware that the watching is there. This is connecting with the watching itself. This is awareness of Awareness itself. It is the simplest thing.
We feel we cannot do it because it is that simple. You are aware now. Therefore there is an awareness of this Awareness. You report that ‘I am aware now’. Therefore, there must be an awareness of Awareness; that’s why you’re able to report it. That itself is awareness of Awareness.
There is No Separation
You are completely free; and that is so beautiful. It is so beautiful yet it is completely not special, because Being is always completely free. Therefore the sense of specialness can only be another way for the mind to continue to perpetuate its idea of separateness; because specialness implies separateness. The realization itself is that there is no separation. Therefore who is here to feel special or to feel that something has been accomplished? Freedom is not an accomplishment; it is our very own nature.
Consciousness playing the game of ‘person’
“Who believes in thought. “I Am’ or Absolute? Surely not the person.”
Yes, surely it is not the person because the person does not exist. It is this Beingness itself, this ‘I Am-ness’ itself, which pretends or deludes itself to be a person. Maybe there is an enjoyment in becoming a person and playing this game of personhood. Then when Beingness itself gets tired of playing this game of ‘person-person’ then it says ‘I need to detoxify from this concept of personhood’. Then Consciousness itself creates the satsang environment or the Presence of the Guru to then play the game of freeing itself. All of this is just imagination; whatever I am saying now is all just imagination, imagination of the Beingness itself. With the birth of Consciousness or ‘I Am-ness’ is the birth of belief and attention. When only the Absolute remains, then there is no concept of belief or attention.
If you can see it, there is already some freedom
“There is a lot of specialness and arrogance arising in me like a tantrum-ing child.”
If you can see that it is arising, and it is being like a tantrum-ing child, then you are not completely caught up in it. It might be begging for your attention, it might throw tantrums for your attention, but you are not caught up in it. As you go along in satsang you will find that what seems like this tantrum-throwing child will become like this small insect, a small housefly which might try to grab your attention, and it will become smaller and smaller until it becomes a very tiny twittering insect, but does not really get your attention most of the times. I joke and say that 99.3 percent of the time, it will not get your attention. And why do I make this joke? It is only because I don’t want you to set yourself up for failure and say it should never happen. Momentarily attention does go to this, even for the great Masters and great Sages. So don’t create an expectation that it will never happen. Only remember that it will become shorter and shorter, smaller and smaller, the amount of attention that goes into these. But it is great to say already that it is like a tantrum-ing child. There is already so much distance between that and you when you say that.
Direct experience
“I feel all this is understanding that I get it. How should one transcend to direct understanding, direct experience?”
In the space between your thoughts, there is only direct understanding. When attention and belief is not going to thoughts, then no intellectual understanding is required. All that is being provided here is to give you the tools to stop paying attention to this interpreter in the mind. There is nothing more direct than the right now. In the right now there is already all the understanding that is required, but it is a non-verbal, non-intellectual understanding.
Taste the now. Taste the now. This is the most direct experience. In the now, there is only You. This You is always available, this is your own ever-present truth. To get the direct experience, first drop the ‘how to’. If you drop the ‘how to get’ and if you drop the chasing for direct experience, you will find that it has always been here. Drop all of this mind chatter. That is direct experience.
Is there is a difference between special and unique?
It is okay to see the patterns which emerge in the content of life. It is okay to see them, but do not give a belief that they are separate. Do not give a belief that the separation is real. This belief can only come with belief in what the mind is saying about the so-called other. The simple way to say it is ‘Enjoy it as a dream, or enjoy it as a movie’. Then all this uniqueness, all this beauty can be enjoyed. All the tastes of the world can be enjoyed without us getting caught up in the maya of the world. Getting caught up in the maya only means that we believe that it is real. We give it a belief that it is separate from me.
The mind’s approval will never come
“As everyone actually experiences it all the time, is it that it needs to be accepted by the mind in order for Beings to rest here?”
This is an excellent question. It seems to be, that with the power of belief which comes from Consciousness itself, that when this power of belief is given to the mind, it seems to become our apparent reality. It is not our real reality, but it seems to become our apparent reality. This apparent reality always ends up hurting, because it is not the truth. That is the way grace plays out. When we believe something that is not true, it is eventually going to hurt us, or hurt the identification or the false belief. Because we are so attached to this false belief, we feel that we get hurt or we suffer. Once this process happens, then we say that ‘I want to be free from this misunderstanding. I’ll go to a doctor to rid myself of this allergy’. That is satsang. The mind will not be reformed; don’t expect the mind to say ‘No, I understand now: You must be the Supreme’. It will only say that in a tricky or sneaky way, with the agenda of separation. So don’t expect your mind to be reformed. It’s only that your own belief will get divested from this idea of separation.
Acceptance of the heart is enough. Don’t wait for your mind’s understanding because that will never come. That’s why I say many times in satsang also that what we are doing is we are handing over the words of the Master to the mind for its approval; and as long as we keep doing that we will only be left with a lot more doubts, a lot more confusion. So don’t wait for the mind’s approval. The Master does not need the mind’s approval.
Fear of losing the false identity
The instant you have called it false, the minute you have seen that it is only an identity, and the fact that you are seeing that the fear is coming up, all of these tell me that it is already over for you. Because with this sense of distance, with all of this, it cannot last for long. And you must know now that whatever comes up, any phenomena that comes, must go. What you are is the unchanging reality, unmoved by any of this appearance. So don’t resist anything, don’t fight anything; let everything that comes come, and let it go. The instant you see it as false it is over.
The instant you pick it up as real, it starts again. That is why I don’t give so much importance even to the experiences of awakening. Because awakening only means that, in that moment, it was seen that the person was never real and I was always this Awareness itself. But with many Beings I have seen that the awakening does not stay because we pick up the person again. Sometimes it is worse, because it is accompanied by a sense of specialness. That is why it is important to stay in satsang and let it stabilize. The experience of awakening can be beautiful, but is another experience ultimately; and we are not here for any experience. So let all strains of person-hood get dissolved in the fire of satsang.
Wanting/needing ‘love’
“My ego dances the dance of loving and wanting/demanding love.”
Yes, it’s the most common dance of the ego. In the wanting, or needing, or demanding love, we find that this becomes the most repulsive energy for most other Beings around us. The needing of love actually becomes an obstacle to the flow of love. Believe my words when I tell you that as you rest as the Self, love will be in service to you. It will be your servant along with peace and joy. But if we chase these, if we need these, then they become very elusive. Because the chasing and needing always come from a personal perspective. Whenever there is a person involved, there is trouble involved.
The Presence has no distance
“This pure vibration felt very strongly in your Presence.”
And it’s very nice you say this because you are probably many thousands of miles away from the physical presence. It is your own Presence, your own Satguru in your heart whose Presence is being experienced, which is the same as what speaks through this mouth. Therefore it is completely possible to experience the Presence of satsang. It is the Presence of the Guru in spite of a lot of physical distance. Because time and space are just illusory concepts which are born inside this Consciousness.
Surrender all concepts. Like I said, all concepts we are using just as thorns to remove other thorns. No thorn has any value. Just throw it all away. It is only when someone says that something is deep inside and I need your help to pull it out, that is why we use another thorn to throw it away, to take it out. Otherwise no real words are needed.
Ego is fighting for supremacy
“There has been raging self-hatred or the ego raging and threatening.”
All this may come up now strongly, because in the mind it feels like it is fighting for its survival or it’s fighting for its supremacy. It will pull out all the stops now and come at you with all that it has got. You just stay as the Self. You just stay as the Awareness. Just be the Witnessing. Without your nourishment and belief, these energies cannot last. Don’t worry for them to go; you just stay as the witnessing itself. You will see that automatically their power will reduce. Soon you will find that they are completely powerless.
Helping the world
“Is being free from identification also being from the idea to help or better this world? Is the freedom itself enough for supporting this world?”
If there is a need to help or better this world, that means that means there must be a person who experiences this need. All need comes from the idea of being a person. It also comes from the presumption that ‘I, as a person, know how to do something well and I will be able to help someone’. But to free another Being from their suffering, first we must get free from our suffering, ourselves.
I’m not saying that ‘don’t help’. I am not saying ‘don’t help other Beings’. Very spontaneously, very naturally you can do that. Just don’t come to the conclusion that ‘I am helping another’. If there is an intuitive sense that you feel like doing something then it must be done with a feeling of being an instrument in God’s hands. It must not be done with a sense of superiority that ‘I am helping another’.
So all these actions can be done, I am not saying ‘no’. But first we must free ourselves from our own suffering. And suffering comes from the idea that I am a separate person. That is the best help you can give to the world, that this suffering is an illusion, it is all imagined. The suffering of separation from God is an illusion. But of course, if there is a feeling that you would like to help, please, by all means. Very beautiful. Just don’t nourish an arrogant ego because of it.
Contemplations
When we let go of our ideas about what must happen, then there is so much peace. We see that life unfolds very beautifully. Much better than the best plans that the mind could ever have laid out. To watch this beauty unfold is the easiest thing. All that is needed is to let go of our ideas of what our life should be. In the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘should nots’, we miss the beauty of life. We actually have no future. Nobody can say that ‘I have experienced the future’. The only reality is this moment. Can any of you get out of this moment? Can we leave this moment now? How can we leave the now?
If it is not possible to leave this moment, then it must require no effort for us to be here now. Because we have seen, even with all efforts, it is not possible to leave this moment.
It’s not possible for me to leave this moment and what is here now. Just observe. Just look and see what is here now. We have already said it is not possible to leave the now. Therefore the second question is ‘What is here now?’
“Peace is here.” “Presence is here now.”
“Breathing is here, awareness of breathing.” “Watching warm feeling of love in heart.” “Awareness of Presence.”
“Alive intelligence.”
Good. Very good. So what are the steps we took? We said it’s not possible to leave the right now, not possible to leave the present moment. Then we said ‘What all is here now?’ Now the question is ‘Who is aware of this?’ Who is aware of what is here now? Or what is aware of what is here now? What is aware of this?
“Awareness.” “I am.”
I am. I, as what? I, as what, is aware of all of this? “As awareness itself.”
Very good. So now where is the person? Where is the idea I believed about myself? Let’s stay with this. Can you find the person anywhere?
“I, as space, is aware.”
“Even awareness doesn’t seem right, but something beautiful.” “Person is imagination only.”
“It is on the screen of my seeing.”
“There is no person, only thoughts and awareness of thoughts.” “The person is an object of awareness, thought, feeling.”
Yes. Very good. Now let’s go a little deeper. What can this Awareness do? As Awareness, what can you do?
So, what have we seen so far? We have seen that it is not possible to leave this moment. And we said that awareness is here this moment, Beingness is here this moment, breath is here this moment, and there is ultimately an awareness of all of this. There is an awareness of all of this. We also saw that ‘the person idea is not in this moment; it is clearly seen to be just another projection’. So the identification with the person is not here in this moment. Now we are asking: what can the Awareness do?
“It cannot do anything.”
“Awareness can’t do; it is just aware.” “Nothing to do as Awareness.”
Good. So it is just a pure watching, isn’t it? Even without the concept of watching or seeing, it is just a pure seeing or the pure watching.
“It just is.”
“Yes, just pure watching.”
“Yes, just pure watching without a concept.” “Feels like it is doing all the names and forms.”
Yes, but not as an active activity, isn’t it? You could be saying that ‘within this Awareness itself, Consciousness takes birth; and in this Beingness all seems to happen’. But it is not doing it as a purposeful activity. Awareness is not doing anything as a conscious, purposeful activity, is it?
So, now we said that Awareness is not actively pursuing or doing anything; just an automatic state of pure watching is here. We also said earlier that we cannot find the existence of a person. So now, all the questions about doing and doership, whose questions are they?
So we said all that Awareness is doing, without even the concept of doing, is a pure watching- ness which is here, a pure seeing which is here. We also said earlier that the person cannot be found. Therefore all the questions around doership and what should I do, who must they be referring to you as?
“The questions are always the false I.”
Very good. Is this clear for everyone? We can all look and see. It sees like an automatic question for many of us when we say ‘What must I do?’
So I say: ‘As what?’ As what are you asking ‘What must I do?’ We already saw a person is not there, and Awareness is only watching. Therefore whose question is: ‘What must I do?’
“Just all thoughts.”
“Yes, it’s only when I imagine I am a person that a sense of doership arises.”
Yes. It is something that is an attribute of a character in a daydream. In a daydream there came a concept that there is a person, and for this concept, it wants to do something. Do you see how far
from reality the concept of doership is? Do you see this? Do you see how far from reality this concept of doership is?
“There is nothing to be done, all just is.”
“Yes, because we believe that we are an actor on the screen.” Yes, isn’t that so far from what is true?
If this is clear, if this is clear for all of you, then this is freedom itself. Because the ego cannot survive without the sense of doership. The ego cannot survive the dissolution of doership.
If it’s clear for all of you that it’s all belief in concepts like ‘I should do, could have done, and what must I do?’ then all of this can be put aside now.
So it is seen that the person does not exist at all and Awareness is just the pure Seeing. Therefore it is clear now that all this activity and movement is a play of Beingness or Consciousness itself. So Consciousness itself is the director / actor / scriptwriter; all the roles are being played by Consciousness itself. In the Presence of Being, all these movements happen.
Another contemplation
This one is a little far out for the mind. So, just let go of all concepts that might be coming up during the process. I have no idea how this will unfold, so we will just trust the words that are coming up now. A thought appears, and then after a while another thought appears. Between the appearance of these two thoughts, what exists? What exists between two thoughts?
“Silence,”
“Just Awareness,” “Nothing,” “Being,” “Presence,” “Peace.”
Good. Very good. Now look at where this thought is arising? Where does a thought appear? All that is required is a simple seeing. Don’t try to find the answers with your mind. So the question is, a thought will appear, where does it appear? Within what is the appearance of thought?
“In the pure seeing.” “In the pure Presence.” “From this silence,” “Out of That.”
Very good. Now let’s look at an emotion. Where does an emotion appear? We are looking at all these different energy constructs. We looked at thoughts, now we are looking at emotions. Where does an emotion appear?
“From nowhere, inside me.”
“I don’t know. Appears to come out of nothing.” “Within pure Awareness.”
“In imagination, because I can’t see where it really is.” “Don’t know.”
“Just comes up from nowhere.” “In myself.”
“Within me.” “Out of me.”
“Emotions and thought appear within Awareness.”
Good. So I am not going to be giving any answers. This is just a contemplation. Let’s go further into this contemplation.
So first we saw that the thought appears, and there is a seeing of it; an emotion appears, and there is a seeing of that. Now let’s look at: ‘Where does the body appear?’
Keep the same perspective, don’t put on a personal perspective. Keep the same perspective as was looking at thoughts and emotions. Don’t pick up any personal perspective because we are moving to the body. Where does this body appear? Where does the sense of this body appear?
“Body also appears within Awareness.” “I feel it.”
So the thought comes from within me, the emotion comes from within me; and it is perceived within. Thought comes from within me, and it is perceived within me. The emotion comes from within me, and it is perceived within me. This body, does this also come from within me, and is perceived within me? Can you check?
“From That.”
“If I’m honest with myself, I do not feel a sense of a body.” “This body also is from pure Awareness.”
So, for the body also, can we say that it appears from within me, and is perceived within me?
“Yes, this body also.”
Now, keep the same perspective as was looking at thoughts, that looked at emotions, and then looked at body, and have a look at where the world comes from. Where is the world perceived?
We’re not looking at the answers today, we’re just contemplating the questions. We can take a day or two and we can look at what answers are appearing. So, we looked at thoughts, we looked at the emotions, we looked at the body itself, and now we’re speaking of the world. Without changing our perspective at all, just keeping the witnessing attitude, we are now looking at the world. The last question was: ‘Where does this world appear?’ Where do the objects of the world appear, no matter how distant they might seem? Where do they actually appear?
“The world also appears with Awareness.”
“I don’t know where the world is. Hard question to answer.” “It is all appearing from my seeing.”
So all objects, no matter how close or far they appear, where do they actually appear?
Very good. If any of these questions got a hold of you, then you can spend some time contemplating this. For many Beings in satsang ‘Everything is within me’ is just a concept that we have heard for many years but we have never experienced it to be a true reality. So this contemplation came.
“World is inside me.” “Can’t find the world.”
“The world is in front of this, as is thought.” “From my seeing.”
“Only a witness exists.” “All is me. I see it.”
Both are accurate to say, that ‘All is in me’ and to say ‘All is dancing in front of me’. Even when it is dancing in front of me, it only exists when I am here.
So, first we looked at the concept of doership itself, and how it comes from a false identity. Then we looked at our true position in this Universe.
Where Am I?
Let’s look at an interesting contemplation today. The typical inquiry has been ‘Who am I?’ or ‘What am I?’ Many of you now have a clearer understanding of our own reality; which in the worldly sense is quite amazing actually. It’s quite amazing in a worldly sense that you have become so clear with the understanding of your true reality. In the worldly sense, it can also be called rare. We have a rare understanding.
Yet, in the true sense, there is nothing special about it; because part of the realization has always been that ‘I have always been this’. Isn’t it? If the realization is that ‘I have now become this’ then that is a suspicious realization. The realization is that ‘I have always been this’. Therefore to say that ‘I have not realized yet’ or ‘I have realized that I am something which wasn’t earlier’ both are suspicious. The truth is that we are that in this moment, and we have always been that pure Awareness.
But one thing I have seen is that even if the understanding seems to be present of our true nature, there are still some confusions which continue to persist. We’ve been looking at some of these common confusions. We looked at the concept of doership; also we looked at the concept of everything being within me.
Now we must look at: ‘Where am I?’ The question is: ‘Where am I?’ Just look.
“I’m not in the world.”
“I cannot be seen, so cannot find something somewhere.” “Nowhere.”
“Nowhere.”
“Anywhere.” “Here, everywhere.”
“Here. But I can’t be found. But still I am.” “I don’t know.”
“In the here and now.”
Yes. Very good. So, what is the meaning of this ‘nowhere’ or to say ‘I am not in this world’? Does it mean that you do not exist? Does it mean that you do not exist at all?
“It means I cannot be found in anything perceivable.”
So, what she’s saying is that: If it is seen, then it cannot be me in the true sense. It can be arising out of me, but it is not what I am ultimately because there is a seeing prior to anything that is seen; an Awareness prior to anything else. Where is this Awareness?
We’re looking actually at a very common confusion. The common confusion seems very silly when it’s spelled out; but many of us subtly believe this. We subtly believe that this body/mind has become Awareness now; that I-as-a-person have become Awareness now. This will be the ego’s way of keeping some specialness alive; saying ‘Here, here, in this spatial place, there’s
something special going on, because now the awakening is here, or the liberation is here’. So, let’s look at this confusion. The one that has realized himself, where is that one?
“But I’m definitely here.”
“But can sense that I am, and through this, everything is.” “I exist in a no-place.”
“Existence is here.”
“I exist but not as a person; only existence itself.” “Here. Nothing and everything.”
“No location, but felt as here.”
“Yes. ‘I’ person is no more, but an awareness of all that one is no more.” “He is nowhere and everywhere.”
“The sense ‘I Am’ is all the time in the waking state; but the witnessing of it is also here.” “The one who has realized itself is seen, so is also false.”
“There is nobody who finds out something.”
There is nobody, yes. The person never existed in the first place. So, can we define? Many of you have said ‘Here’. We’ve also said in satsang many times that ‘Love is here, peace is here, joy is here’ but we never actually looked at what ‘here’ is. What do we mean when we use the term ‘here’? Which ‘here’ is Awareness in? Which ‘here’ is Beingness in? Is it a spatial ‘here’? Can it be defined by space? Can we figure out the coordinates of ‘here’? Does it have a longitude and latitude?
We’re leaving no concept untouched now, because hidden behind some concepts there can still be some delusions or misunderstandings. We will shine the light on all concepts now; just very playfully, not like an exam. This is not an exam; there are no passing and failing marks. We have often said ‘All is here now. Truth is here now. Awareness is here now. Beingness is here now. Love is here now’. All these statements have been made. So, what is the meaning of ‘here’?
“Emptiness. No location.” “Here has no limits.” “Unspeakably.”
“Presence means here. Presence-here.”
This ‘here’ is ever-present. The other ‘here’ is the locational or spatial ‘here-ness’ of the space; space is here only because first I am here. When I am not, time and space both cannot be.
“Just I am here-ness. Not physical, with no concepts.”
“The here is where everything is. Nothing but space without dimension.” “No location, just this. Can’t describe or explain this.”
Very good. Do you see that the point of the exercise is to remove any specialness or any concept of specialness from this particular space; the physical space in which the body is? To be clear that the appearance of the body is just another appearance in Consciousness itself? I do not appear inside the body; it is the body that appears inside me.
“Here is awareness, here is myself.”
“I could not find any definition, means no definition. “I don’t know, can’t explain.”
It is impossible to answer this question in spatial means, because we are prior to space. Is this seen?
“Seeing of all as a dream; you and me, space, time.” “From here, I am seeing in the moment.”
In the moment, there’s an appearance of the sense ‘I Am’. But even that is seen. The seeing of even the pure sense ‘I Am’…, can we locate a position for that Seeing, for this Awareness, for that ‘I’ that I ultimately ‘Am’?
What we are saying is, that ‘I’ which is prior to even the sense ‘I Am’, is it possible to give it a location?
“No location for ‘I Am’ or the knowing of it.” ‘Feeling of ‘I Am’ is also seen.”
“No location. Not even a Master or anything.” “No.”
“Yes, we-as-Awareness. That was felt.” “There is no place to be.”
In fact, all places are inside Being itself. All places are projections of Being itself. Being is prior to space.
So we have said that Awareness and Beingness has no physical location. I am not in this body. Then, why are we so concerned what happens to the life of this body? If I’m not here anyway, I am just the watching, which is watching the play of this movie, then how I can be concerned with even the freedom, or lack of freedom, which seems to appear in this body/mind alone? How can I be concerned about the content of the life of this body?
Identification is now getting fully dissolved
“No physical location, true. But still during the day, I have this fear for the existence of body.”
As the identification is now getting fully dissolved, it will reduce. But do not expect it to reduce to become complete fearlessness. Because even the great Sages and Masters are not walking into the ocean saying that ‘I am one with the ocean’. I’m not jumping off buildings saying ‘I’m one with the street downstairs’. That’s why Bhavagan [Ramana Maharshi] said that what used to be a rope concept for the ego, used to be a strong rope, it is now a burnt rope. He does not say that there is no rope. He could have easily said that the rope vanishes. No. He says it is now a burnt rope. What that means is it loses all its power but still, in a small amount, this conditioning will continue to remain.
So, don’t let the mind play this upon you, saying that because you had this momentary fear that it says something about your state of freedom or not. We are ever-free. This is not ever anything about our state of freedom. So if there are any concept about you being inside your body somewhere, we must lose them now or expose them in satsang so it can be burnt.
Knowing what I am not
“The only way to know what I am is to know what I am not; to know myself.”
Okay, so let’s look at this also, because we are not leaving any concept now. So you presented a concept here, which can be our next contemplation, yes? You say ‘The only way to know what I am is to know what I am not’. Can we look at this?
The simplest way to look at this is to ask: ‘Am I aware now?’ To ask: ‘Am I aware right now?’ So there is an awareness that Awareness is here. That is the simplest way to know oneself.
Of course, there is great value in what you say. This is the path called the ‘neti-neti’ path, which means ‘not-this, not-this, not-this, not-this, not-this’. They say ‘the world is not me, the body is not me, my thoughts are not me, my emotions are not me, and ultimately even the sense ‘I Am’ is not me’. So what remains is just the pure Awareness now, for all of you who can also say directly that ‘awareness of Awareness is here’.
Attention on body identification
“At times, awareness is located in the body, and identification follows.”
What you’re referring to is a tool called attention. If our attention is located inside something, our attention has gone to something. Awareness is unlimited awareness, unlimited knowingness or unlimited seeingness. But our attention is limited and focused on a particular thing. So the attention can jump around wherever it wants, but the Awareness is never truly in the body. It can never be truly located in the body.
We all believe that we are a person inside this body. Yet when it is said like this, it sounds so silly, because ‘where inside the body?’ We cannot find this person.
“I am aware, but the mind always tries to find a location, like Being is felt in the body.”
The mind can do whatever it likes. This is not a ‘reform the mind’ program. The mind will never change its ways, a leopard cannot change its stripes or its spots, or whatever it has. The mind will always attack or defend. So this satsang only helps you to be de-addicted from this mind. It’s a de-addiction program for Consciousness itself to get detoxed from this mind. But you are not this mind, so let the mind do whatever it likes.
“When attention goes to the body symptoms, then what should we do? Should we ignore, or watch without interpretation?”
We can watch it without interpretation, it is fine. But if we force to ignore, then attention will want to jump back there. So let attention go wherever it likes. In fact, with the body, you must have noticed that if there is some pain felt in the body, and we don’t resist the pain, are completely open to the pain and keep our attention with that pain, it seems to subside quite a bit; as opposed to when we are running fearful about the pain or resisting the pain and saying it should not be there.
Believing concepts momentarily
“Can you speak about believing concepts verses momentary appearances which convince us that we have believed something?”
The only true test of whether we have believed something is the presence of suffering. If we have believed a concept, it is bound to make us suffer. Therefore, when suffering arises, it’s a pointer to what misconception we have. In that way, it is a beautiful blessing. It’s so simple. Suffering arose, check and see: ‘Okay, this was the misconception’. Then the misconception can be let go of. So, momentarily, an appearance comes, which could be some pain or something like that; but if it is momentary, it is quickly gone. If it lasts only a minute or two, then it is quickly gone. But when suffering persists, then there must be a concept that we are believing. If it is momentary, then it is nothing to worry about.
“Sometimes there is a tendency to hang on to a thought, saying ‘Maybe that is true’. There is a ‘looking’ when there is nothing to look at.”
Yes, because of our conditioning, because of many lifetimes of belief in ourself as a person, it could be that momentarily some attention, even belief, goes. But like you said, you used the word ‘momentary’. So as long as it’s momentary, it is nothing to worry about. Because the moment that we set ourselves a condition that even momentarily it should not happen, then we are setting ourself up for failure and for trouble. I have not ever seen a single Being for whom, even momentarily, irritation, anger or these things don’t arise. Momentarily it is fine for it to happen. What you will find is that you will not be able to hold onto anything. There can be anger momentarily but there can be no resentment. There can be no judgment. The irritation won’t last more than a few minutes, at best.
“This has a tendency to cause suffering, in comparison to the original thought.”
Because there’s this concept that ‘I should now not give any attention or belief to it; so even if it happened momentarily, still that means that…’ It makes a conclusion about what we are, that ‘I am not free now’ or ‘I should be free from all of this’ or ‘Even this momentary appearance should not happen’. So look at what this suffering is pointing you to. It is pointing you to a concept that is saying that ‘It should be a state of constant equanimity or bliss or peace or joy’. But it is not true for any Being I’ve seen; even the greatest Masters.
Desiring things of this world
“In a neighborhood of luxury houses, feeling ‘I want that’ was causing me suffering.”
Actually our needs are very, very simple. The body’s needs are very, very basic. But it is the mind which says ‘more, more, more and more; and it would be so nice to have’. In actuality, it truly means nothing.
So, what you can do is you can do a test. Just be like a paparazzi for a while; just be like a paparazzi in India, and you take photos of people who come out of these luxury houses. Take photos of the expression of the people when they come out of their houses. Then you go to satsang. Find some Beings who have been in satsang. I don’t know where you are; but suppose you go to Mooji in Monte Sahaja or suppose you come to Bangalore satsang; it could be any satsang, no? You go to satsang and you take photos of those Beings. Then you put these photos next to each other; and you see which one you would rather be.
I feel that the answer will be very clear in that moment. Whose eyes have the shine? Whose smile is coming from true joy in the heart? Whose Presence carries the love? In this simple test you will know that your life is so blessed that you are given this satsang. And I don’t mean ‘this’ satsang as in this present satsang. The Presence of satsang is in your life, which is the greatest gift possible. Much greater than a million luxury homes. Because it is this that will take you away from suffering; not any material benefit.
Any Being who is free, if you were to ask them, if you were to say ‘I’ll give you a luxury house, but you go back to being the person that you were’. Even if it were their choice, there would be no one who would say yes. Even the poor sadhus and fakhirs on the road, they will not exchange their freedom for any amount of wealth.
The right approach to suffering
“In a way, it’s easy. If it causes suffering, I just drop everything, so it becomes okay.”
Yes. This is the right approach toward suffering. Be completely open to the arising of suffering itself; because when it arises it is pointing you to something which has been pushed under the carpet, maybe for many lifetimes; we don’t know. So all this old muck is coming up now, and is being cleaned up. So let it all come out, let it all get washed away.
“At times there is an apparent ‘person’ identifying with Awareness. This is very subtle and difficult to explain; but false.”
Yes. The whole contemplation was for this. So many of you have had clear understanding that you must be Awareness. But this subtle concept takes hold that ‘Here in this body/mind, there is Awareness here’. That brings about a sense of specialness, a sense that the ‘person’ is now enlightened. So that is why we are chopping these kind of concepts. Very good.
Let everything flow on its own
“When you say ‘Make no decision’ what about those decisions which seem to come from the heart?”
What I mean when I say ‘make no decision’ is never give birth to the decision-maker. Let all flow on its own. Never believe that you are the decision-maker; and you will see that life is actually unfolding on its own. So ultimately even guidance from the Heart means that it is the Heart itself which is taking the action. Therefore now what we’re saying is that even to presume that ‘I’m being guided as a person’ means that even this person-identity doesn’t need to be given birth to. At one level it is very beautiful to say that ‘I check in with spirit, I check in with God, I check in with the Heart before I take any step’. But now, where you are, you can say that ‘Let the Heart itself take the step. There is no person here to be guided anyway. Let everything flow on its own’.
Spirituality and Science
The idea of being a person must be becoming a distant concept for most of you now. Of course the idea will rear its head once in a while; he’ll come back up again trying to convince you that you have always been this person. But now with the power of satsang, it cannot last.
Actually, there is another misconception that being spiritual means that we are unscientific. Many Beings feel, in our families and other Beings around, many Beings feel that if we are spiritual that would mean that we are non-scientific. But actually true spirituality begins on the edges of science. After the conclusion of science has been made, then the spiritualist, the true spiritualist, is still asking the questions. For example, a scientist will say that light travels at a certain speed, 15 miles a millisecond or some speed like that. It will say light travels at a particular speed, and it is satisfied with those kind of conclusions. But in spirituality we are saying ‘What force or what intelligence decided that this is the constant speed of light?’
Biology will say that evolution is what happens, so for every generation there is some mutation and a change in the dna, some genetic structure, and the entire species is affected by this evolution. A biologist will come to these kind of conclusions. But a true spiritualist will say ‘How does this intelligence get carried forward across so many Beings, who could be spread across various continents? What intelligence is the storehouse for evolution?’
A physicist will say that gravity acts with a particular force on all objects. And a spiritualist will say ‘Who decided this value? Because it clearly was not a committee of people that got together and said that gravity should operate like this’. Therefore if somebody says that this is purely to do with unscientific concepts, then we can ask these questions to the scientists. They are answering these questions which even science cannot answer now.
Science is also slowly coming to the same conclusions. Science is coming to the conclusion that there is no personal doership. We took this example before; in a BBC study they found that the impulses for the hand to move actually travel six seconds before the hand actually moves, even before the thought of moving the hand is there. Therefore they are also coming to the conclusion that it is Consciousness which is doing all of this. They are coming to conclusions which are similar to Advaita anyway; with concepts of the unified field, and quantum physics. It is all coming to the same conclusions.
Ours is a very scientific exploration actually. It is far from just using imagination. In fact, it is the world. Most of the Beings in the world are caught up in their imagination of being a person and leading a personal life. Here we have cut through those imaginary concepts and delusions, and we are looking at it very plain and simply, in a very scientific manner.
Also another conclusion they have come to is that a jnani yogi or the paths of unity, (which is through the understanding), means that it is bereft of devotion or love or peace and joy; which is completely not true actually. Because any paths that we might take, in the conclusion of the path all these combine. In any paths, if we are left with the conclusion that the individual doer entity is what I am and it exists as reality, then it is not a true path. All paths lead you to the point where they are saying that this individual doer entity just does not exist; or at least they point you
to the fact that it has no power. So if any spiritual path is reinforcing the concept of the individual doer entity, then it is not bringing you to freedom. Freedom only means freedom from this concept of being a person. Every satsang is taking us deeper into this contemplation and stabilizing in this conclusion that the individual entity was never real.
Can anything you do stop Awareness?
What practice must Awareness do to be Awareness? What practice must Beingness do to become Beingness?
Now let’s look at it the other way around: What can you do, or what can be done, so that you stop being the Awareness? What action makes you something else? [Sangha: “None, nothing, none.”]
Then are you saying that no matter what happens, I am always the Awareness alone? Is that what you are saying now? [Everyone says ‘Yes’.]
Are you sure? That no matter what happens, you are always the Awareness alone? [‘Yes’.] So what are we saying, we are saying that no matter what happens, what the content that might appear in front of us, whatever life situation might appear in front of us, we are always this Awareness, isn’t it? We have always, always been This. We will always only be This. Irrespective of what happens in our life and irrespective of what happens to our bodies also. Irrespective of what happens through our bodies and even to our bodies, we are always the Awareness alone.
As long as it is completely clear that Awareness can never become a person or a body, then all things are allowed to flow on their own. To become personal means that there is a belief that ‘I can become a person and I can become a body’. The most common one is that ‘I am a person living inside the body’. If we pick up the personal perspective, then it must only be as a game. We must always rest in the neutrality. If the picking up of the person is happening, it happens only in this game, in this maya, in this leela. That can be allowed to unfold without any preferences, as a complete neutrality to whatever is appearing.
Pure simplicity
For me, it always seems like I am speaking the most basic things which seem the most obvious. Now, with all of you understanding, it is getting deeper and deeper and clearer and clearer. You are realizing that all of this is so simple. No one who realizes the truth comes out and says ‘Hey, this was so difficult’. It is pure simplicity itself.
We seem to be referring to the scientists a lot today, but I believe that Einstein said that ‘If you cannot explain it simply, that means that you have not understood it well enough’. What that means is, if you need to rely on a lot fancy words and concepts, and it’s a multi-step program where ‘first understand this, then understand this, and then understand something else, then you understand something else’…., if it becomes more and more complicated, then it is going further and further away from the truth actually. Because in the truth, we are bringing it back to our complete simplicity.
This is Home. This is Freedom.
“When I hear Mooji speaking of going beyond ‘I Am’, I feel two things; that I’m already there.”
So what is beyond ‘I Am’? Even in the sense ‘I Am’ there is a perceiving of it or there is an awareness of it. Are you closer to the sense ‘I Am’ or do you find that you are the Awareness itself? So the Master says to go beyond even this sense ‘I Am’. What he is saying is that ultimately even this is seen. Ultimately you are not even this sense ‘I Am’. You say that in an instant you feel that you are already there. So there is no place to go.
“But there is also a feeling of separation, like something is beyond.”
No. If you are aware of the sense ‘I Am’ then you are the beyond already. Even to say that ‘I am aware right now’ takes you beyond the sense ‘I Am’ also. Because it is not the sense ‘I Am’ which is aware, it is only the Awareness which is aware of itself.
Look at it very simply. Look at pure Awareness as a pure Seeing, and the sense ‘I Am’ as the pure Being. This Being comes from this Seeing itself, because without this Seeing no one can ever testify to the Presence of this Being. You can be without the Being, the Being cannot be without you. Therefore the instant you say that ‘I am aware of the sense ‘I Am’ then in that instant you have already gone beyond the identification with the sense ‘I Am’.
These words are very powerful actually. Because in most cases, even to get to the sense ‘I Am’ is called self-realization. But here what is being said is that the instant there is an awareness of this sense ‘I Am’ that means the Awareness is prior to even the birth of even this Consciousness. But it is not somewhere that we have to get to. It is only something we must see is already true. Who is aware of the sense ‘I Am’? And what is aware of this Awareness also? It is only that One Awareness.
“I feel more to say that Presence is Self-aware or I Am That.”
See that the Presence is here. In what way is the Presence aware of anything? Contemplate this. In what way is the Being aware of anything? Is it a different awareness between Awareness itself and a different awareness of Being? Or is it not the same Awareness itself? First there seems to be a pure Seeing, and within that there seems to arise pure Being. But the Seeing does not change. The Seeing does not change, does it?
“There is an intuition that everything is just a vehicle or trigger for the impersonal Seeing.”
The impersonal Seeing does not require a vehicle or trigger, it is just always this Seeing itself. It is ever-unchanging, never triggered, nothing actually touches it. No phenomena can actually touch it.
“I am, and I am aware that I am, but I can’t really distinguish between them.”
In deep sleep state, are you aware of the ‘I Am’? No, we just wake up in the morning and say we had some good sleep; we had some very restful sleep. That means the pure Awareness was there. Or somebody will say ‘I had lots of dreams’. This means the Awareness was there, and then the sense ‘I Am’ came in this dream state and it went. But the Awareness is the one constant. Therefore, in the deep sleep state, even the sense ‘I Am’ is not there. There is awareness that I went to sleep, and there is an awareness that I woke up from the sleep. We says sometimes in satsang that if I were to go to sleep right now and were to wake up in sometime and say ‘I went to sleep’ then there is something that is aware that I went to sleep. So there is an Awareness of even this pure Presence ‘I Am’. The Beingness wakes up inside the pure Awareness itself.
“Is that also your experience? Or could you somehow distinguish some difference between them?”
Ultimately they are the same, but if there is some distance / difference it is that there is a Pure Seeing; a Seeing even of the Beingness. Beingness is present here now. So even that is seen, therefore we can say that Awareness is prior even to this Beingness.
“Sri Ramana says Seeing is Being.”
Yes, ultimately, this Seeing is Being. Look at it this way, that there is only Pure Seeing. Pure Seeing is all there is. Then it is our experience that Being arises. So if Seeing were all there is, this Being must be made of this Seeing alone. So it seems to be a modulated form of this Seeing itself. Just like ice is a modulated form of this water. If water is all there is then all that arises must be made up of water only. It might have different properties, like Being has a different property than Seeing, but it must be made up of only this Seeing. Because we have seen that Seeing is all there is.
Two forces seem to come from Oneness
So have you noticed that there are two separate forces that play, ultimately coming from the same Oneness; but they seem to be two separate forces at play? One is the sense of attention, the power of attention; and the second is the power of belief. Both seem to operate in different ways. Many times, if we try to avoid our attention going to something, like if I say ‘Don’t think of a pink elephant’ then right now attention would have gone to a pink elephant. So when we try to avoid bringing our attention to something, then attention seems to jump over there.
The second force is the power of belief, which seems to operate a little differently. I say ‘Don’t believe that you are a pink elephant’. You can easily not believe you are a pink elephant. Initially it seems easier not to give our belief to something.
Amongst these two primordial powers, which are born with the birth of Being itself, it seems easier to not give our belief to something than not to give our attention to something. Then it is found that our belief is withdrawn over a period of time. Then it becomes easier not to give it our attention also. So initially it is absolutely fine to not give belief to any thought. Don’t try avoiding giving attention to something initially, because it will jump right to that point if you
fight with the attention. Even if attention goes to a thought, it does not have any power over you without your belief in it. Ultimately when attention itself seems to be withdrawn, there is no question of belief at all.
It actually seems like a miracle or a Divine mystery how we could have spent so much of time just relying on our thoughts. In this great play of maya, this is the great mystery. How Beingness itself started identifying with the energies that it created on its own.
“Is space a thought or idea? It seems like a sensation.”
Space has many definitions. Refer to space as this phenomenal space which is born after the birth of Being itself. Time and Space are born after the birth of Being itself. Some also refer to Awareness as pure space; the pure nothingness or the pure space itself. There is a sense of spaciousness about it, so I can understand when they say that Awareness itself is pure space. I would say that it is more a primal knowing than a feeling; like when they say ‘Are you aware now?’ it is not a feeling that you are aware, it is actually a more primal thing, that you know that you are aware. The same as saying ‘Are you being now?’ is a more primal Seeing than just another feeling which is dancing in front of us.
A contemplation
Observe how the mind is trying to create an expectation now. It is trying to tell you that something special is going to happen, or it could even be the opposite. That it could be very boring. Either thought could be coming to you. Any thought could be arising for you right now.
Be completely open to any thoughts which are coming.
Don’t be fearful of any thought which is arising.
Where does this thought come from?
Can you get to the source of this thought?
When the next thought comes, try to see where it is coming from.
Give all your attention to this.
Even the thought that no thoughts are coming now.
Where does this thought come from?
And after a thought appears, where is it?
Where is it appearing to us?
What is the space in which thought is appearing?
Is there any distance between this space and what I am?
Once this energy of thought is gone, can we see where it goes to?
Where does a thought go?
What makes us believe it was my thought?
In what way did you create this thought?
Wait for the next thought to appear, be completely open. Invite all thoughts to come.
When the thought appears, find the distance between yourself and this thought.
Notice that it seems to appear in front of you. Even if appears to be appearing inside you,
what is the distance between the Seeing of the thought and the thought itself?
No effort is required, don’t try to do anything at all.
Let the words work on their own.
Don’t visualize anything. Don’t imagine anything.
See things as they are.
Let all thoughts come and all thoughts go.
Don’t control their coming or going.
Like a river flowing in front of you, let it flow, you don’t jump in.
Let the river flow, let all thoughts come and go.
You stand your ground.
Notice that the witnessing of the thoughts is unaffected by the content of the thought. Observe whether awareness of the thought is affected by what the thought is saying.
What is the distance between you and this witnessing?
What separates you from it?
Observe that it is impossible for you to have ever been an object which was witnessed. You have never been the body or the mind.
You have always been this Pure Awareness itself.
This is Home, this is Freedom.
You can never leave this.
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
Moojiji ki Jai [Namaste]
Chapter 6
You Have Always Been Free
What is the mind?
Let’s get down to the basics of what we are speaking about. What is it that we are saying? We are saying that for most of our past life we have had an energy, or a set of energies, which we mistook to be ourself. The mistake was that ‘It is our own self’ or the mistake was that ‘It is a good friend and guide’. If we were to ask ourselves: in the past so many years of our life, from the age of three onwards, who has been our biggest advisor? Can we say? For most of our life, what has been our greatest advisor, or what has been the advisor that we have listened to the most? For some of you this might seem like a very basic question, but just play along, play along for a while.
Basically we are saying that for a large part of our lives, right from two and a half or three years old onwards, we have relied on the voice of the mind. What are we calling the mind? Basically, what is the mind? The mind is a bundle of thoughts and similar energy constructs. When I say ‘similar energy constructs’ I am talking about imagination, about memory; all of these. If you want to make it very simple, just for the sake of this discussion, we can put all the emotional appearances in this. We can bundle one set of energy constructs which is thoughts, memory, imagination with another set of energy constructs which is fear, anger, rage, lust, greed, all of these emotional constructs. All of these energy constructs we bundle into one and say ‘Okay, this was the mind’.
Desire for freedom becomes the primary focus
The way in which the desire for freedom is different from the other desires is that if it becomes really strong, it first destroys all other desires. It is found in many cases, if this fire for the desire for freedom becomes stronger and stronger, first it burns all other desires. Everything else seems to become irrelevant for some time, and the primary purpose of life seems to become this desire for freedom. That is why we have seen that with spiritual seekers, all they want is God, all they want is freedom. No amount of material wealth, no amount of other things get in the way of their desire for freedom. So what started off as a personal desire then becomes something which burns out all the other desires. In the seeking of this Truth, ultimately even this desire for freedom melts away because it is realized that there is no person here anyway to even desire freedom. It is a realization, not just a mental understanding, (although a mental understanding can also be useful at times, as long as it is not accompanied by a sense of specialness).
I don’t want any of you to make tattoos out of anything that is being said. So don’t feel ‘Oh, there is still a desire for money here, so that means my desire for freedom is not enough’. No, no, no. We are not talking about it like this. We are saying primarily this desire for freedom becomes the most important focus; it doesn’t mean that all other desires just vanish. It’s just that this seems to become the primary focus, and the others lose their value and intensity. When this openness comes that ‘I really want to explore what is going on’ then it is seen that the so-called worldly knowledge doesn’t seem to offer any solutions to this.
The worldly knowledge is saying ‘Just a little more of this, just a little more of that, and then you will be happy; just improve your schedule and then you will be happy; just stop procrastinating and achieve more, then you will be happy; just put a system in place, then you will be happy; just get some more money in the bank, and then you will be happy; just get a better relationship, and then you will be happy; just have children, and then you will be happy; just do something charitable, do for others and then you will be happy; just love everyone and then you will be happy’. All these ideas will come, and we bite them. Some of them seem very attractive, that ‘This must be it’. But after trying many things like this for a while we realize this also is not it.
No mind will approve of freedom
Don’t wait for the mind’s approval of your freedom. No mind will approve of freedom. Even the mind that is here will try every day to create some doubt, it will try to create some rubbish. All minds function in the same way. Ultimately, as Mooji says, ‘It’s the same guy’. Don’t wait for your mind’s acceptance of your freedom which is ever-present, which is right here, right now. Don’t make this a battle between the voice of the Guru and the voice of the mind. All that the Guru is saying is ‘Just see for yourself. Don’t even take my word for it; just see for yourself what is true’. And the mind will say ‘No, no. You tell me. I am not convinced. I don’t want to look for myself. I know what is true already. I don’t need to’. Ultimately that is what the mind is saying, isn’t it? That is resistance.
All is made up of this Consciousness itself, this primal phenomenal energy which is called Consciousness. It must be having some fun or some entertainment to play the game in this way; that is why our idea of fun has become like this. When we read a novel or we watch a movie, there must be some ups and downs, there must be some challenges, there must be some heroes and some villains for it to become entertaining. In the same way, this seems to be God’s entertainment. I know that for some of you this will sound like this is something very cruel, but to say that it is something very cruel is to give it more reality than it deserves.
Belief in being a Separate Individual
Is there something still that convinces you that you must be a person? Is there anything that still convinces you that you must be a separate entity? What are the things that can be confused that point to the existence of this false entity? So let’s look at some of the excuses that you might use to believe in your separation.
You might say: ‘I still get angry, therefore I must be a separate individual’.
You might say: ‘I did something, or did not do something, therefore I must be a separate individual’.
You might say: ‘My life is not going according to the plan, that’s why I’m still a separate individual’.
You might say: ‘Ease is not always here, hence I must be a separate individual’.
What is it that convinces you of your separateness?
All of these are concepts or excuses to fall back into the idea of separation. Just remember that although you might still believe the idea of separation, your belief, although very powerful, is not strong enough to make it real. It is only strong enough to make it seem real. So the separation never can really happen, even if you believe all the concepts that are floating around in your head. Because when you are asked to look for this separate entity, it never can be found. Then it is seen that all has been always only a play of Consciousness itself. When the Beingness is here, then all the drama can go on; but that voice which interprets this drama must not be trusted now.
In the belief of your concepts, it cannot be that you really give rise to a separation. That’s just like believing that my hand is separate from me. I cannot make it a reality just by the belief of it.
So the mind is always attempting to communicate, as if it is speaking with this separate entity. It is never addressing You-as-Awareness. It is always addressing you-as-a-person itself. The mind is never saying ‘Hey, Awareness, can you do this?’ It is always addressing you-as-a-person. That is why this voice which addresses us as the false entity must never be trusted. So one way is to look at it and chop it off at the root itself. All it is doing is addressing the person, which I can never seem to find anyway; therefore I will ignore this voice into oblivion. The second way is to look at the content of what it is saying and then say ‘Hey, this still keeps me trapped. These concepts still keep me trapped’. You will find that none of those are actually true.
The bridge from person to Presence
The bridge seems to be that first there is a Pure Seeing in which we are nothing at all. For some inexplicable reason, there is the birth of this Being. In the Pure Seeing itself, there is the birth of this Being as a sense ‘I Am’. Until here, no trouble. Then the bridge seems to be that this concept comes very automatically, where it seems that ‘I am this person’. Our conditioning has been so strong; from our parents and from our mind that ‘I am this person’. Once we cross this bridge, then we start catering to the life of this person. We start looking at the world from our personal perspective.
This bridge cannot be crossed without believing a thought. Therefore the bridge itself must be a thought. It can be any thought. A thought, once believed, takes us from the pure sense of Beingness into the sense of being a person. It still never becomes true, but we seem to then live the life of this person. So belief in a thought seems to be the bridge to go from the Real to the seeming unreal; and to withdraw belief from the thought seems to be the way back home from the unreal to the Real.
The inquiry is simple
When we say ‘Who am I?’ then very quickly we find that the person is not found. Only the Presence of a Seeing is here and then there is a Being here. This separate entity called the ‘person’ is not to be found. The inquiry is very simple. If this kind of simple looking is not
happening, and it becomes more an intellectual framework creation, or an intellectual understanding process, then that is the ego actually.
What have these thoughts ever given us? What will you do with these thoughts that God is not doing with your life anyway?
The search for true guidance
Ultimately, the good news is that all Beings must come to this pure desire for just the Self, for just freedom. Because suffering does not leave. It is God’s gift that it does not leave us until we come to this point of only desiring freedom. When this search for true guidance appears, then it is not possible that a true teacher will not appear. In fact, even if the teacher is seemingly false and caught up in various other ideas, then there might be something that he might say, or she might say, that might just lead to your freedom; because it is the refection of your own inner Satguru which is appearing outside. There is nothing special about the body of the teacher. Although it is great to be in the physical Presence of such a Being, who has handed over the body to the Satguru itself; inherently there is nothing special about the body. It is your own inner Satguru which is using the mouth to say the words.
Awareness is the Starting Point
Today we can look at whose life are we so concerned about. Whose life and whose state are we so concerned about? Have we become so used to worrying about this person that even after the realization is here that it does not exist, we still want that person to be in some state? Or we start worrying if some states appear which seem uncomfortable for this person? Who is experiencing anything at all? Are we willing to look at this question? Is the one who is experiencing an individual entity? And if we are so clear that it cannot be an individual entity that is experiencing anything, then why are we concerned with the content of the experience?
We must look at this, otherwise we are only using spiritual understanding as a band aid; we are only using spiritual concepts as candy; we are only using these concepts as vitamins; that when we feel upset or we feel bad about something, then we just pop in a spiritual concept. That’s not what this is. There is a stage where this happens, where we use spiritual concepts to feel better, and that is absolutely fine. But if it is only restricted to that, then you are again falling into the trap of the mind which says you must now use spirituality to make the state of the person better.
Therefore those that run from satsang, it must be because there is some fear of what will ultimately get exposed. Under the garb of boredom or disagreement or doubt there is usually some fear about what is going to get exposed next. And when we are in a fearful state, we are very quick to pick up a thought which will get us out of these situations. But grace does not function like that. You cannot escape life in this way. Life will always point you towards your own reality.
So don’t let any state convince you that you are a person again. A great state or a horrible state, both can convince you of your individuality. You just be the witness of all of these.
You are the perceiving itself. There is not something called ‘the perceiving’ that you own. There is no perceiver entity even. There is only this pure Awareness.
Awareness is the starting point
The starting point of all of this is the fact that you are aware. Awareness is the starting point, and you already know that you are aware; you already know that. Without this awareness, is anything else possible at all?
Attention can be given to some things and attention seems to be in limited supply, so we cannot give our attention to too many things at the same time. We say ‘Awareness is unlimited, totally open; yet attention is limited’. Let’s take an example. Look at what’s in front of you and just completely give your attention to what is in front of you, and then try to give your attention to a thought at the same time. Can you do it? And you will notice that when attention is given to thought, you will find that the vision is becoming a little blurry, because attention is being withdrawn from that.
Now we have some idea about what attention is, isn’t it? This force which is difficult to describe in words but which has the ability to narrow the power of perceiving down to particular things which are appearing, and seem to carry this input back to us.
So belief only means that there is a separate sort of energy which has the ability to say yes, or to say nothing at all, or to say no. So when a thought comes that ‘I must buy myself some new clothes’ a thought could be ‘I must buy myself some new clothes’ and then you can say yes to it, you can say nothing to it, you can just go, or you can say no to it. This much is clear?
Withdrawing our belief from thoughts
Let’s look at this now. To not give belief to something is to say that ‘I have no interest in it’. To not give belief to something is a neutral state. This thought came that ‘I must buy some new clothes’. There was no interest in it, not even interest enough to have an aversion in it. Notice that I am saying neutrality; I am not saying yes or no. Because either yes or no would mean that you are interested in the content of the thought; but to just let it come and let it go is neutrality. If we say yes then it is a desire, and if we say no it becomes an aversion. This is the difference between a desire and an aversion.
When we say that there is no interest, it means that there is no desire to give a belief to any thought that is arising. Then what happens? So this same thought can keep coming back. Initially I don’t say withdraw your attention from it, because attention can play this monkey game. I say ‘Don’t think of a pink elephant’. Immediately your attention is going to an image of a pink elephant. The more you try to stop and say ‘No, no, no, no pink elephant’ the more the pink elephant stays. So attention can play this monkey game. Belief is easier to handle. It can say ‘No, I am not a pink elephant’. No matter how many times a thought might come and say ‘You are a pink elephant’ you will not believe it. But if I say ‘Don’t give attention to the visual of a pink elephant’ then attention seems to go there.
As we keep withdrawing our belief from it, and we stay in the state of neutrality, we will find that automatically attention doesn’t go to it. It’s like if you have the same visitor over and over, initially you might be a little hospitable to them, but if they keep coming back every ten minutes, then you will just start ignoring them. Like if you go into a wildlife sanctuary; suppose there are many, many tigers there. When you see the first tiger you will have a lot of belief that you wanted to see this tiger, and your attention will go strongly to it. But as you keep withdrawing your belief from it then, as we have seen too many of these tigers, your attention will also stop going to them. You will probably start thinking about lunch.
In just this much understanding, to say that ‘I will not give my belief to any thought’ is freedom from suffering itself. Just in this much is the freedom from suffering.
The mind is not your friend; not yet
Initially it is okay to say that ‘I am not going to believe any thought at all and let life unfold exactly the way it has to’. Like my Master says, the mind is not your friend; not yet. Don’t believe your mind’s testimony for when it is your friend or not; let your Master tell you. What
you have to do is let go of all thoughts and all fear about how life will unfold; let go of all thoughts, and let all actions unfold for the body as they are naturally happening in a neutral state. Don’t have any desire or aversion. I am not saying that you just sit on the bed; that is a typical reaction that will come. I’m saying just be completely neutral and let life unfold as it does without you giving any belief to any thought. If the mind is saying that ‘This is not possible’ then you experiment with it; and you tell me after experimenting with it that ‘I tried this for a day, but it is not possible’. Okay?
You as an individual cannot decide anything anyway. Life is already deciding for you. Don’t try to decide, just drop all decision making, and life will unfold exactly the way it is meant to. What you might experience in this is a fear about what is going to happen; and that takes some trust. So trust in Guru, trust in God that life will unfold exactly the way it is meant to; not in the way that your mind wants it to. But the decision of a non-entity, which means a decision of the personhood, does not exist anyway; it is not relevant to how your life is going to flow. It is only the illusory way of keeping the false identity alive; this choice-making and decision-making. But if this becomes too difficult to understand, I can say what Bhagavan said. Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said that if you believe in choice, then the only choice you must have is to let go of your thoughts. That is the only choice you must make. Ultimately you will see that even this happening was all grace. There was no individual entity here to do even this.
What about this ‘I’ thought?
If you give no attention or belief to this ‘I’ thought, then this is freedom. Because at the root of all suffering is this identification with the individual person. All thoughts are referring to you as a person. No thought is saying ‘As awareness, can you do this?’ All problems are just thoughts about a person; all suffering is thoughts about a person. If the root itself is gone, this personal belief of this personal identity is gone, then that is freedom; because when thoughts come and speak, they are speaking to someone that is not there at all. You know that they are not there, therefore no belief can go to them.
It is our own testimony, our Heart’s testimony that there is something here, a neutral space here, from which all this can be seen. It will be completely clear to you what you are believing or not. The wonderful thing about life is that all our beliefs will get exposed in the form of the suffering that they bring. That is why I say suffering is pure grace; because when suffering comes it unfolds, it unravels, the belief system, and also some concepts which we are still holding onto. So when suffering comes, don’t say suffering should not come. Only say that ‘What is it that is still being held onto? What identity is still being held onto, that this suffering is still here?’
What does following the heart mean?
It’s a very good question. Initially, what you have to do is just let go of all your thoughts, and let life unfold on its own. It is going to unfold anyway. Because personal volition, personal choice, personal decision-making were all concepts and ideas in the first place. Then you might find, one day, that there is a deeper qualitative voice that speaks. But when it speaks, it is accompanied by the presence of love, and peace and joy. It is not accompanied by needing something, wanting something, wanting to achieve something. You will sense this. Many Beings say that this is the
voice of the Heart. But don’t confuse it with the physical heart; otherwise it might seem to be coming from a deeper place. The mind can be a trickster, and try to convince us with this voice. It can try to play a part; it can try to play the role of the Guru and intuition. Once you’ve stabilized, once you’ve completely let go of the thought, you will find that a deeper voice speaks, which has no need. It is accompanied by love, peace and joy. This is not the same voice as the voice of the mind.
Ultimately, of course, it is all the same thing; it is Consciousness itself. But this voice, you can listen to then. In fact, this is the voice that speaks through satsang. It is the same voice which is using this mouth to speak. So, have no expectation about anything that is said, because it can unfold in different ways. Some Beings might hear it as voice, for some it might come as a visual, for some it is just pure silence itself. So, you will know qualitatively. Qualitatively, this voice will have a different sense of Presence about it. That is intuition.
Remember that ultimately, to You-as-Awareness, it doesn’t matter. Even this, it can be said, does not matter. Once you recognize that ‘I am this pure Seeing itself’ then it does not matter whether even this pure voice is guiding this life or not. Because You-as-Awareness is completely untouched by the content of this life. This life is nothing but the blink of an eye-lid for you. You are the timeless one. So don’t look for intuition, don’t chase intuition. When you have let go of your personal mind, then intuition will arise on its own. To ‘follow the heart’ for now only means let go of your thoughts and let life unfold on its own.
You Are the Untouched Free One
I feel it’s very good that we are exploring things very deeply now. Many times we are holding ideas about concepts, even the basic concepts like attention, like belief, like identity, like consciousness; all of these we are looking at very, very deeply now. And we realize in the looking that there were some misconceptions, or possibly some confusions, around some of these topics; so we immediately believe that we understand completely.
You never know what might come up, which might be very useful. That seems to be part of the job of the external, to show us what has been denied internally, or what we refuse to look at internally, or what there is fear about; which then ends up showing up externally. Because on this path, all will be transcended. We cannot take a blade of grass worth of ego into the Truth. Because that much of ego has to cause that suffering which it is meant to; that much of pretense, that much of imagination, will come with its bite. So unless all of it is completely transcended it will keep showing up externally, which is very good. Because if it didn’t show up externally then we would be in denial forever, or it would seem like that at least.
Restlessness and inattention
What you are saying is that there seems to be not so much interest now because you’ve seen that this is all a play which is unfolding, and then the vital energy is not present here for this work to flow through you. This can happen. I have shared this story before, where for many months, there was no interest here in work. Just after I met Mooji for the first time, for many months here, there was no interest in work. Then, mostly because of family’s pushing and worrying about what is going on, I wrote to Mooji and said that the family is very concerned because there is no interest in work here now. The essence of what he wrote back was that ‘Trust this which is happening to you and life will unfold in the most beautiful way. Don’t try to force anything’.
You will find, in your letting go of this force, that maybe these energies might come back, and you might have some vital force here to do these actions; or you might not. You might find your mouth saying the words which the Master also said. He found himself once in a situation where he told his manager, his boss ‘I quit’. As long as you trust, all will unfold in the most beautiful way. Don’t try to predict or know beforehand what must happen. Don’t pick up the garb of a decision-maker or a choice-maker. Definitely don’t believe that it is ‘your life’. It is Your life, not you-as-a-person. It is the life of Consciousness itself. It is the life of God himself.
Once you see that there is no person here, that all that appears is God himself, then it is God’s problem. All that is happening is not the person’s problem. It never has been, and the person cannot do anything at all. It is like asking a dream character to come and pick up some heavy rocks; like we are asking the dream character to come and decide for us, and we have said ‘This is your life’ to the dream character. It is just not possible. This example is not very far-fetched actually. It is not an exaggeration. We have conjured up this image of this person, and then we pretend that it is this person’s life; and when asked ‘Where is this person?’ we can never identify.
It keeps getting easier and easier. As you keep coming to Satsang, as you are in the Presence, you will find that the idea of a person becomes very soon just another thought. Don’t expect it to
completely vanish. For all Beings that are here, some amount of personhood always remains, even in the awakened sages. You can say that otherwise these awakened beings would have left their body long ago. They would have walked into the sea saying ‘I am one with the ocean’ or jumped off a building saying ‘I am one with the sky’. This does not happen because some amount of individual identity is always retained. As long as the human body shows up, this element of some identity is bound to remain. We have seen that with all the great sages, right from Jesus to Ram to any Master.
Is the body real in truth?
No, in truth the body is not. But, even if you were to imagine that all this phenomena appearing is real, then even at this level the person is unreal. Because we cannot, even at this level of phenomenal reality or unreality, (whatever you presume), even at this level the person is unreal.
I have no argument with anyone who says ‘But I see the world, I see the body, it must be all real’. I have no argument with that. But ultimately the question still is: ‘Where is this person that you believe yourself to be?’ Because the voice that is speaking is not testifying to the voice of being a body, it is only pretending to be that.
There are very simple ways to check this. When asked: ‘In your last 10 problems, how many of those have been totally about the body?’ you will say maybe 1 or 2, or maybe 3 or 4, depending on the state of the body. The majority of the problems were about what? They were about relationships, about other people and how they behave, about our own guilt about what we should have done or not done. All these are not problems that are affecting the body. All these are problems that are affecting the imaginary concept of a person.
Then when you get into this conversation, you say ‘So where is this person?’ Then you say ‘Inside’. Most Beings, when you are new to Satsang, say ‘Inside’. Then you ask ‘Where inside?’ If a surgeon were to cut up the body would he see a person coming out? Even if we were to give reality to phenomenal appearance, that would be the same as giving reality to dream appearance. Because there is no difference between dream appearance and this so-called waking appearance. But even if you were to say the dream is real, that this state is real, even then the ‘person’ is unreal. Even then the ego is only an idea.
Even if you were to say that ‘All this is unreal’ you cannot suffer unless you pick up this idea. In fact, it is not a bad dream. All this can flow. If we do not pick up the person idea, then suffering cannot happen. Therefore, it is not imperative that we treat all this as unreal. It might be an insight which just emerges that ‘All this is just arising out of me. Out of my own Being all this is arising’. But even if that insight is not there, or there is an aversion to that insight, even then suffering can stop because we find that the person is not real. The person is unreal.
Talk to us about your experience of God
God is here right now. This holy Presence of Beingness itself, the sense of ‘I Am-ness’ itself, after which this entire universe gives birth, this Holy Presence must be God. It might seem blasphemous to say, in my definition, even God gives birth inside me. It is this sense of
Beingness, pure Being unattached, untouched, before all other identities are born. This for me is the Immaculate Conception. All other identities come from the root of this ‘I Am’ idea. Everything else that appears, appears in relation to this ‘I Am’ idea. There must be a ‘me’ for there to be a world, which is ‘my’ world, ‘my’ life, this is ‘my’ family, this is ‘my’ body, this is ‘my’ job. All our life is this play of duality, ‘my’ versus ‘the other’. It all rests on this sense ‘I Am’. Before this ‘I Am’ woke up, there was nothing here at all. There was only an awareness of Awareness itself. So this Holy Presence is what I would call God.
I have no problems with definitions. If somebody says that ‘This Pure Awareness itself is God’ that is fine. And they can even use terms like ‘Spirit is born, Guru is born inside this God’. It is fine. Definitions are not important. It is not the label that we are using; but it is to validate that qualitatively this is the Pure Seeing, Pure Experiencing which is here. So it is not about the mental labeling or the concepts.
Is this all there is?
“The mind is feeling pretty disappointed at the emptiness or the simplicity of the truth. It had so many ideas. The other night, in silence and grace I heard it say ‘Is this all? This is it?…”
The mind will always play these tricks. Don’t expect the mind to change. Don’t expect the leopard to change its spots. It will still find buttons it can push. This one might be a button for you, where there must have been some identification with something called ‘the realized state’ or ‘the freedom state’ or some expectation that something special should happen, which is freedom. The mind will never testify to your freedom. Don’t be concerned about what the mind is saying. Without your belief or interest in it, it can have no power over You. The mind says so many things.
That’s why I always ask: what should happen that would convince your mind of your freedom? What is required to happen? The mind will be unconvinced. It will only say ‘Wow you are such a special person now’. It will still not refer to you as Awareness.
Already our life is such a beautiful miracle. Even the simplest thing, like who would have imagined a few years ago, that we could have this conversation across so many continents so beautifully [via online internet satsang]? Isn’t this a beautiful miracle? Isn’t Consciousness the Creator of all of this beauty? But the mind is still unconvinced, because that is its nature. It is born to serve only the idea of the person. It can only refer to you as a person. So don’t expect it to change, let it say whatever it wants. It’s not happy. It’s not in its nature to be happy. It can only pretend to be happy. Whatever the mind is saying is less meaningful than silence itself. Whatever it is saying, forget about it.
The chooser and the sense of choice
It’s very good that we look at this concept of doership, of choice very deeply. Because this is one of the main legs of the ego to stand on. Without the sense of doership, the ego cannot survive. Therefore the most important question is first to ask: ‘I say that I am the choice maker, or
decision maker, or chooser, but as what am I saying this? Who is the choice maker? What does the choice maker look like?’
If I am so clear that I must be making these choices, then I must be clear about ‘I-as-who?’ It is only after the belief of ‘I, as an individual person’ that this belief comes that ‘I, as an individual person, am making these choices’.
If you slowly look at the process of how the choice is made, you will see that the person is not involved in any way. So we can look for: What is the stage of the choice making where the person gets involved? Even if we were to presume that the person is real, can we figure out how the person actually makes the choice? We must look at: What is this decision making that we believe that we are doing?
So who can tell me how we make a choice? Really slow it down, look at exactly what happens, and then how you make a choice. What is the beginning? What is the beginning of choice making?
“First it is confusion or doubt about two choices; which is good for me?”
Yes, but even before this confusion comes there must be a thought that is believed in. What is the choice? So if it is about choosing between two jobs, it could be like ‘I must quit my job’ or ‘I must join some other place’. If this thought had not come, would you be making a choice?
“Belief in a thought that is telling me I have to do something.”
Exactly, exactly. And now, in what way did you create this thought? How do you manufacture a thought? What tools do you use to create this thought?
Most of humanity believes that they are the creator of their thoughts, that they are the thinker of their thoughts. But we have never looked at this very basic thing: In what way did we create it?
We are saying that if the thought had not come, then the concept of this choice would not be there. And what did we do to create this thought? Is it not true that thoughts are flowing on their own?
When Being is here, then from this Being itself, on the Presence of the Being itself, thoughts seem to be flowing on their own. Just like the clouds in the sky seem to be coming and going on their own. So believing that ‘I created a thought’ is just like believing that ‘Just because I can see a cloud, I must have created it’. And this is true for all appearances, isn’t it?
At the root, there is Awareness itself. After Awareness there is the birth of Beingness-in- Awareness-Itself, made up of Awareness itself. Beingness cannot fathom Awareness because it is prior to it. Then after Beingness is there, then first actually the mind appears, and then the world appears. Since the mind came later, the mind cannot fathom the Beingness also. Awareness is completely an unknown concept for the mind.
Just like the grandchild cannot talk about the circumstances in which the grandfather was born; he can only speculate. The same way, the mind can only speculate about the nature of our Being. When we start believing this speculation, then we call that the intellectual understanding. So what we are saying is: Come to your true nature of what you are, which is beyond the speculation of the mind.
Coming back to choice, we see that first the thought came. So the thought could be ‘I want to change my job’. The real fun then starts, when a contradictory thought then comes and says ‘No, you must stay’. Then we have the apparent illusion of choice. But we do not create either of these thoughts. It is Consciousness itself in the Presence of which these thoughts emerge, and Consciousness itself which will pretend to be a decision maker, and Consciousness itself through which all the actions will happen, irrespective of what the decision was.
We have seen this also many times in our life, that we might have decided something but when the time comes, we do something which is completely the opposite of that. Therefore it is only an illusion of decision making, of choice. Life is just unfolding in its own beautiful way.
So the first thing to understand is: How can there be a decision maker who is separate if we have seen that the separate person itself does not exist? So with that itself, this concept of decision making or choice should get cut off. If it doesn’t, then we can look deeper into the process of choice making also, and see that it is just a collection of beliefs we carry about having to make a decision or a choice.
Choicelessness is full power
With this choicelessness is full power actually; it is not a powerlessness. The mind will convince you that if you are not making a choice you are powerless. But what it is referring to is the person; a person without choice does not have much meaning. And that’s exactly what we are saying in satsang, that we remove this important aspect or false meaning that we have been giving to this person by looking and seeing that all is unfolding on its own.
So whatever we feel we must decide, we can forget about it. We can just let it go. Forget about it. If something is convincing you that the real world is separate from the satsang world, and in the real world we need to make some choices, then don’t believe that thought. This is just the mind’s way of keeping you entangled more and more.
“Does this mean we can relax about our wrong past choices?”
That’s why I feel that those two phrases are so beautiful. It is ‘tvam kartah, tvam buaktah’ which means ‘You are the doer and You are the experiencer’. In that itself there is a realization that ‘I am completely powerless’. Ultimately the realization will be clear that the person never existed in the first place.
It’s a huge step to come to this step of understanding that this power of choice is just not available with the person. Actually, after doership is dropped, it all becomes very, very simple;
because most of our stress, most of our fear, comes from this illusion of choice making or decision making. I hope there is some more clarity about this.
Choice making is not just this decision making. It is plagued with a lot of other remnants. It is plagued with pride. If something happens to go well, you will feel ‘I made that choice and I am so great’. If something goes badly or seems to go badly you will say ‘Oh I am guilty of making such stupid choices in my life’. So in either case, the sense of person gets stronger, the ego seems to get stronger with this false delusion of choice making. Very simply, when we look at it with no expectation, when we just look at how things happen, you will see that choice making is pure illusion.
“Mind is saying ‘If you don’t make any choice then you will be in this situation forever; nothing will change’.”
That’s why I say: Don’t try to change the mind. The mind will always come up with things like this. It is saying ‘The situation will not change’. I am saying: What is wrong with the right now? Without thinking about the past or future, what is wrong with the right now? Right now has the Presence of God himself. Right now is the Presence of your Being. Right now is all beauty, joy and peace. So again we say that: ‘Fire the interpreter, don’t believe what the mind is saying about the now’.
You can hand over all thoughts, all decisions, all problems, all choices; everything can be handed over to me. It is not your problem anymore. In places like India, actually it is very well ingrained. The instant we call somebody a Guru means that all our problems are theirs now, theirs to deal with, without any expectation of how the life should turn out; because that is only our mind’s idea of what our lives should be. As my Master would say ‘Life is not that unkind that it would fulfill your mind’s desire about what your life should be’. God is not so unkind that he would fulfill only your mind’s desire for what your life should be. You will find one day that there is so much gratitude for the way that life has turned out, because in this way you discovered your true nature, your truth, your true Self.
So this identity can be gotten rid of. But also get rid of the identity that you are the one who is deciding anything, or you are the one who can decide anything. Ultimately it is You-as- Consciousness that is doing all of this anyway; but if you think that you-as-a-person must decide to get rid of the identity, then first get rid of the person identity. If you can get rid of an identity, then get rid of the person identity. Then the job identity and all other identities can be taken care of later. First you remove the person idea, throw away the person identity. And how to do that? Simple. Simplest way is let go of all your thoughts. And if you feel that there is enough fire for it, then do some self-inquiry.
You are all there is
This ‘You’ [Ananta] that you are referring to is the Satguru in your own Heart, and it is the same Satguru that is using this body in satsang and using these words in satsang. If you truly surrender, then your body also can be just an instrument for the same Satguru; which is true for all of you. There is nothing special that the words must come from this mouth, or this body.
When you carry only the holy Presence, then the body will also be used, and every step that you take will be satsang for all Beings that come in contact with you. This is also a blessing for all of you.
Complete freedom is possible for you now. There is no doubt about your true nature here. It is your own mind which can doubt. All doubts about the Master are ultimately just a reflection of your doubt of your own realization. Your doubt about your own freedom is reflected in this way. All this is just a play for You. You are All There Is. You are transcending this play and coming to your complete freedom. No object holds any meaning for You. No external circumstance has any value for You. No thought or emotion means anything to You.
You are the untouched, free One. You are the untouched free One. If there is only one thing you believe, then let it be this. You are the untouched free One.
The Illusion of Control
The illusion of control is another strong leg on which the concept of the ego rests. As long as there is a sense of some personal control over something, or the sense that ‘I need to have some control over something’ then this leads to strengthening of the false belief of the individual ‘I’. But if you were to really look, we would find that there is nothing at all that is within a person’s control. A person is completely powerless; and it had to be like this. It had to be like this because the person does not exist at all. For something to exist it must have some reality about it. If we say that something exists we must mean that it is real in some sense. But the ego, the person idea, is just an idea. And most of humanity seems to have bought into this idea.
So what is it that you have control over? What is it that the person has any control over? Do we really control the outer world? Anything can happen here. Do we have any control over what happens with the body? It all moves on its own. We have definitely no control over which thought will appear next. We also don’t know which emotion is going to come up next. Therefore at what level do we feel we have any sense of real control? If the person has no control over anything at all, then what power does it have? It’s all a big pretense. It’s one big pretending. Do you see this? Even the feeling that ‘I am moving my hand’ comes after Consciousness decided to move my hand. The feeling that ‘This is my thought’ comes after the thought has already appeared. The feeling that ‘I am experiencing these emotions’ is post facto after the emotions are already here. It’s all just one big pretending.
We have seen at a phenomenal level; all control is a pretense. At a non-phenomenal level, from the point of Awareness, it is a constant. From the point of Awareness, can it go away, can it be stopped, or can it be regulated in any way? It cannot be. In the waking state, can we change the Beingness in any way? Can we stop being, or can we ‘less be’ or can we ‘more be’? It sounds funny to say. So if in the phenomenal world there is no control, and in the stage of Consciousness and Awareness definitely there is no personal control, then what is it that we are doing anyway? Is it possible at all to be the doer of any action? Do we see this, that all sense of control is a complete pretense, is a complete myth?
On seeing this you can relax completely. On dropping this idea of control there is a relaxation emerging with your own Being. When we drop this control we will see that even attention stops jumping around from place to place. When we stop this running around, when we stop chasing things, we see that all is already here. Is there anything missing right now?
Dropping this sense of control does not mean that no action will now happen through the body. All will continue to happen from a state of complete neutrality. Consciousness continues to use the body as it sees fit.
So even this was looking in the phenomenal states. If you were to go inside towards reality, you will see that Beingness continues irrespective of whether we decide to be Being or not. We cannot stop Being in the waking state; and the pure Awareness, the pure watching, the Seeing continues in all states. I cannot turn myself off. Even Awareness cannot stop being Awareness. So it’s as simple as seeing this. But there is nothing special in this; don’t have an expectation that
it will bring about a special state, except a simple relaxation, a dropping of all concepts of control.
Don’t give reality to the unreal
She says ‘All this is seen but yet the sense of feeling bogged down shows up’. Bogged down means what? There is a sense of lack of energy. There is a sense of a lack of enthusiasm, maybe even a sense of a lack of joy and peace. So this was what is appearing, and it seems like ‘There’s a moving away from the silence within. What is that due to? I do know I have no control over anything’. If there is this emergence of all of these, or the lack of the emergence of peace and enthusiasm, then what you could say is: Is there something which has been kept inside, which has been pushed inside for a long time?
Once we are now leaving the sense of control, leaving the repressing, some of this pent up stuff is starting to appear now, is starting to get released. As long as we don’t give it the identification that ‘This is my state’, as long as we don’t call an appearance ‘my state’ then it cannot last. But the instant we say that ‘This is what I am going through’ then we start running about for solutions for ‘what I am going through’. But what are you in all of this? Is the watching of all of this in any way touched by whatever is appearing? Is Awareness impacted by the lack of enthusiasm, or the lack of life energy, or the vital force? The watching is completely unconcerned by it.
So don’t attempt to diagnose why this is happening, because that conveys that there is a sense of interest in what is happening. In this way we give reality to the unreal. If you completely let go, then you will find that if the body needs to be rested it will come to a point of rest on its own. If some exercise needs to happen, then it will come to a point of exercise on its own. Just refuse to pick up the person idea and you will see that all will flow very beautifully on its own. There can be lots and lots of activity, or there could be lots of inactivity. As long as we are not picking up the person idea, it is all fine.
For those with a healer’s job
Because of the kind of job that you have, a healer job, it can be that sometimes life energies seem to get diminished. Therefore all healers must take the time to just be with themselves. If the body is an instrument that is being used to share this healing, then don’t burn out this instrument. You will find that when you let go of all concepts of control, then the body will find its own balance. Don’t listen to the ideas of others and don’t listen to the ideas of your mind, just let life unfold on its own.
Love, Peace and Joy are in service to you
The sense of peace, the sense of joy, the sense of love will constantly be in service to you. In the Presence of your own Master in your own Heart, these forces will constantly be in service to you. As long as there is no expectation and no identification, it is all fine. The Presence of so much love, the Presence of so much peace and Joy, will just be a very normal state of being, with no concern about whether it is there or not.
Complexity comes from belief in a concept
All complexity must come from belief in some concept or another. Without giving birth to a person, can we say that anything is complex? Therefore, for those who find satsang very complicated or very complex, it is only because there is a person trying to understand it. It does happen this way, where it seems like sometimes the words just don’t make any sense. It seems like only gibberish is being spoken, and the same words to some other Being would seem like it is pure heavenly music. Every word seems to carry so much Presence.
This is a great indicator to see whether there is some identification which is happening here. If you are coming into satsang as a person, it is bound to feel frustrating and tiring actually; torturous. But if you leave the person now, if you let go of the idea of being a person and let everything just dance in front of you, then very quickly you will find the joy in the Presence which flows here.
It can happen sometimes where this seems very strong, because actually the person idea is being squeezed out of you and it doesn’t want to let go. Until its last breath it will keep fighting for you. In the same way that until my last breath I will keep pointing you towards what is true, because this voice can only say what is true. But the voice of the ego will only keep you caught up in the personal idea.
If there is a seeming choice, the only choice is whether to listen to this voice or whether to listen to that voice. So let the roller coaster, let the cycle happen. Just be the witnessing of this up and down. Is the witnessing touched by any of this up and down, any of this cyclic pattern; does the witness get touched?
Can you talk about arrogance?
What is the ultimate arrogance? What is the arrogance at the root of all other arrogance? The ultimate arrogance is the belief that ‘I can be separate from God’. The ultimate arrogance must be that ‘There is a person here who is not part of God’. We say ‘God is everywhere; but me as a person, I have the power to lead a separate life’. It doesn’t seem like an arrogant thought, but in effect it is the most arrogant. All other arrogance flows from this root thought of separation. Because if the separation is not there, and all is seen as one, then how can there be any arrogance?
The easiest way is to say that: The arrogant one never existed anyway. It was a character in the book which seemed to be given the characteristic of arrogance. The character in the book never came out of the book; its life is completely dependent on the author. But the author is free to write that the character became arrogant. Did the character even create his own arrogance? Does he have the power to create anything at all? Is all of this not just a happening in God’s own imagination? When we say that ‘All of this is just a projection of Consciousness itself’ does it not mean that it is a dream that God is having? If this is God’s dream, and you exist, then what must you be? Must you be a character in the dream, or must you be That in which this dream is born?
If you continue to observe and just be the witness, you will find that without giving it an attribute like ‘I became arrogant’ or if you were just able to say that ‘Arrogance appeared and then it went away’ then that is absolutely fine. Because actually there is no one here to control what appearances here are appearing. But you do seem to have the power to believe or not. So if I believe that ‘I became arrogant’ then that is what causes suffering. If it was just seen that there was an appearance of arrogance, then it just will come and will go. The minute you say ‘I became arrogant’ that becomes the root of suffering.
Are even insights phenomenal in a way?
All that appears, apart from the pure Awareness itself, is phenomenal in a way. We have gone to the extent of calling even the birth of Consciousness, the sense ‘I Am’ or Beingness phenomenal. Therefore all that appears from this Consciousness must also be phenomenal. Can there be any insight without Consciousness? Can there be any insight without Being? Therefore it must be also a part of Consciousness itself, and hence phenomenal.
This one must also go
Since the desire for freedom starts off as a personal endeavor, there are many times where the person will come and say ‘I got it’. Because it was a personal journey; just like there could be a personal endeavor to get a degree in college, or it could be a personal endeavor to make some money, or could be a personal endeavor to find a partner in life. When all these milestones have been reached we say ‘I did it’ or ‘I got it’. In the same way, when the person feels that there is some understanding, it wants to jump up and say ‘I got it’. When the Master says ‘This one, this ‘I’ must also go’ then there is sometimes even a sense of anger, frustration, irritation. That is called the spiritual ego. Where there is more attachment to the sense that ‘We have achieved something’ than to trust the Master’s voice and to say that ‘Even this one who is claiming to be awake now, even this one must go’. That is true faith. If grace has blessed you with this true faith, then this one who is screaming up and down saying ‘I got it’ or ‘I didn’t get it’ will also very quickly leave now.
What constitutes the integrity if the person is the source of the seeker?
This is an excellent question. This is something that I also grappled with when I used to read Maharaj [Nisargadatta] talking about integrity and earnestness. Just like surrender, just giving up the personal idea, just like the concept of letting go or self-inquiry, as long as there’s some identification with a person here then all these concepts are for that. If there is no identification with the person, then all these words can be heard just like music, actually. Satsang is for those who start off as persons, and eventually dissolve into the Beingness.
To those who are fully dissolved into Being, there is nothing that needs to be said. But as long as there is a personal idea, it is my job to say: Be honest to your Self. Be truthful to your Self. Continue to surrender, continue to let go, continue to inquire. Just in the same way that it is to be said that: Don’t deny. Be truthful in your search. Expose what is happening. Shine your light on everything that is showing up.
If you are blessed with this integrity and earnestness, then you will find that ‘you’ never was anyway. If you already understood that ‘you never were’ then we’re just sharing in this beautiful communion of Presence itself. Then no words are for you. No instruction then applies.
There will come a point in all our lives where we will be face to face with the fact that all the suffering that has ever come has been because of this ‘person’ that we believed ourself to be. We will be confronted by this fact. Then this ‘person’ will be asked to leave. This ‘person’ will be given no interest, and will be asked to leave. You will say that ‘I am only interested in hearing the voice of my Master. There is no interest in hearing the ego’s voice any more’. Whether you call it choice or whether you call it grace actually makes no difference. Once this ego’s voice has been let go of, then you will find that ‘I am always the Self. I am the Self alone. I have always been That’.
The so-called spiritual journey ends at the point with the realization that it never started anyway; that there was no journey. I have always only been the Self. In this apparent contradiction is the life of a seeker. What starts off as a journey ends with the realization that no journey was required.
Being in Silence
What is the birth of separation? Where does this sense of separateness come from?
Let’s look within ourselves. And what we might find is that in pure Awareness there is no sense of separateness at all. Do you see this, that in pure Awareness there is no sense of separation?
Let’s come to that. Slowly let’s see step-by-step how this birth of separation takes place. So in pure Awareness there is no concept whatsoever of separation. So this ‘I verses the other’ just does not exist. Then what happens? In this pure Awareness, what is it that starts stirring first? What is the first movement?
So in this sense of pure Seeing-ness, from somewhere, from within this Awareness itself, arises the sense of pure Beingness. Is this clear, that before this Beingness arises, nothing else is seen? It is only awareness of Awareness itself, before this Beingness takes birth.
Let’s be with this sense of Beingness. Means what? Means that with the birth of this Beingness is also the birth of attention; and subsequently also the birth of belief. When we say ‘Be with the Beingness’ it only means ‘Keep the attention with the Beingness itself’. Notice that, in this Beingness, still no concepts have taken birth. This Beingness is before the concept of Beingness. When attention is just with this pure Presence ‘I Am’ then is there now any sense of separation?
We’re just going step-by-step. Even in deep sleep state, there is a sense of awareness. There is Awareness which experiences even deep sleep. Therefore, when we wake up we can report ‘I experienced deep sleep’. There is nothing else; no phenomenon there to report. But Awareness is still present. Then, with the birth of Beingness, with the birth of Consciousness, is the birth of the ‘I Am’. And if it is only the birth of this Beingness, would there be a sense of separation?
Is Awareness in deep sleep the highest state?
It can be said that way, that Awareness being aware of itself is the turiya state or the highest state. But because you are aware right now, therefore this awareness of Awareness is here right now. Therefore this, what you call ‘highest state’, is ever-present. Although it might seem like the backdrop of all that exists, actually it is the ground on which everything appears.
What happens is that the waking state comes, and this Beingness is there. We are able to say that ‘I just woke up’. Many times it will be that our eyes will still be closed. Many times it will be that all our senses will be closed, there are no signals coming from outside, but still the Being is there. We say ‘I woke up in the night and everything was quiet; it was all dark’. Eyes were open or closed, makes no difference, but ‘I woke up’. This Beingness is present there. So what you say is that ‘I am not able to report seeing this Beingness wake up’. Because the ability to report comes after the birth of Beingness. No conceptual recollection can happen without the Beingness itself. Only a recollection of emptiness or nothingness can happen before the birth of Beingness.
We’ve seen now that in pure Seeing there is no sense of separation, and attention is only with the pure Being. Therefore the concept of separateness has not given birth, isn’t it? In many paths
actually, just coming to this place of Being is called ‘Self-realization’. What we say is that: the Self is even the Awareness of this Being. The Absolute, the truest Self, is the Awareness even of this Being. Because when attention is just with this Beingness, where the sense of separation cannot arise, in many paths it is called the ‘Self-realization’ itself. This Being is called ‘the Self’ in many paths. That is absolutely fine. We have no problems with any definitions. Only that it seems like a very simple step to say that: Even this Being is seen. Isn’t it? There is Seeing prior to even this Being. There is no distance between me and this pure Seeing itself. Hence, ultimately I must only be this pure Witnessing, pure Awareness, pure Seeing.
Then what happens next? Look within, and see what is the appearance that comes next; and how it is identified with. So in the pure Seeing, there is the birth of the pure Being. What happens next?
“The pure Beingness gives birth to the idea or the dream of the person.”
What happens is that, with the birth of Being, then there is the ability to give our attention and belief. Even if there is an identification with this pure sense ‘I Am’ in the sense of a separation with the rest of the appearance. Even if there is a concept that the light of the projector, the light itself which is Consciousness, is separate from the movie then that is the birth of separation. You see this?
When we say that ‘We are only the light of ‘I Am-ness’ this means it requires a belief in a concept. Otherwise, when there is a global seeing with no concept, then even the appearance is part of the light itself. In fact, it is impossible to distinguish between the ‘I Am-ness’ and the rest of the appearance.
The birth of separation
So, the instant that this belief in any concept that ‘I am restricted to this part’, (could be ‘I Am- ness’, it could be the body, it could be the person idea); as long as there is the belief in any concept of duality, that means that there is separation. As soon as we label something a part of something, as ‘I’, instantly then there is separation itself. So that is the birth of separation.
The instant we label something as ‘I’ then automatically there is ‘another’. Unless we keep the sense ‘I’ with pure Awareness itself, the instant we label something as ‘I’ then there is the birth of another. That is duality. If I label myself as ‘I-as-a-person’ then there is a birth of all other Beings as persons.
So what seems like a very basic, very simple exercise has the power to get rid of this sense of separation from the very root. Because to believe in separation means to believe in any ‘I’ concept. When all concepts are allowed to just come and go, without any belief, then this world of suffering cannot be given birth, because the ‘separate person’ idea is not believed in.
Thoughts are a subtle attack, because they are an attack on reality. They cannot actually attack reality, but they seem like an attack on reality. What that means basically is that they are all lies. Because they refer to you as a separate one, they are all lies; because you cannot be separate.
In the light of this Beingness, all is projected
“Awareness is all one; but is ‘I Am’ the same ‘I Am’ for all Beings?”
There is one Awareness within which there is born this one Beingness. In the light of this Beingness, all is projected; the whole universe is projected. The body is projected, everything else around this body is projected in the same light of Beingness. Just like this body is a projection, all bodies are a projection. Just see that there is this one light of Beingness.
This is a common misperception in spirituality. Even yesterday I read something where a great Master had said that ‘All in appearance have different levels of Consciousness’. Which is not true. It is like saying that some parts of the movie have less light. If a chair is being projected in the movie, it has less and different light; and if a person is being projected in the movie, it is a different light. It is just not true. This is like saying ‘In a dream some parts are made of a different consciousness, and another part of the dream is made up of a different consciousness’. All Beings in a dream, all appearances in a dream, are made up of the same one Consciousness. It is not a different set of Consciousnesses. It is all one Consciousness.
Now we’re getting to the root of the teaching itself; the root of ALL the scriptures, the deepest understanding which is possible, which is to see that: In the light of this One Beingness, the entire universe emerges. All Beings in the dream, all Beings in the illusion, are only the One Being. All that appears in the dream is using the light of the same Consciousness.
The ultimate ‘I’ is the ‘I-Awareness’ itself. The ‘I’ seeing the seeing of all there is; with no ‘seer’ at all; with no entity that owns the seeing; just the pure Seeing is ‘I’. Yet, with the birth of Consciousness, we have the power to give this identity ‘I’ to parts of the appearance itself. Maybe it is designed so that when this game is played it has more juice for us. When this ‘I’ identification is given to smaller parts of the appearance, any part of the appearance, then this causes the sense of separation. But ultimately ‘I’ is Awareness itself. I Am That within which even Consciousness takes birth.
Who is Seeing This?
You say ‘I at times observe that my mind is looking through my eyes’. So, let’s look at this and see if it’s really possible for it to be this way. Is it not that something is seen, and then we say that ‘I am seeing this’? Must be that first the seeing happens, and then the ownership of that seeing comes. So when I am seeing the phone lying in front, then I would see the phone and then say ‘It is my phone’. So very quickly it might happen that the identification is there that ‘This is my phone’. So this is way it operates. But it seems so much conditioning, so much habit is there to look at this world as ‘my’ world, and my body as ‘my’ body, my family as ‘my’ family, that we’ve gotten conditioned to looking at life from a personal perspective. And when we hear this for the first time, it seems too radical to jump right to the core of it.
But the fact is, if we were to say ‘But who is this person actually?’ then you say ‘Oh, but that is not clear’ or ‘Can anybody find it?’ We accept an answer like that, which I feel is a shame because the fact is we are catering for so many years, and maybe many, many lifetimes, to this person, to this idea of being a person. Who is this one, actually?
We can spend a few minutes looking for this person, because we spent so much of our time catering to this person, to what this person wants. ‘Let’s not even talk about freedom. This person wants a better house, a better TV, a better car, a better something’. And we are running about, trying to get it for this person, no?
The desire for freedom
Ultimately it says ‘Okay, not all of this. I’m over all of this. I want freedom’. Then we spend many hours of our life wanting this freedom or trying to get this person happy by giving it freedom. But then, maybe we can take a few minutes to ask ‘But who am I doing this for?’ Who are we actually doing this for? Whose desire for freedom is this? Whose desire for freedom is this?
Especially the freedom, we feel that it is a special desire; when the rest of the world is all choosing materialistic stuff, but ‘Me, no, I’m chasing God, and I will not be happy until I find Him’. This one is who?
The good news is that this desire for freedom, if it’s true, then first what it will do is it will destroy all other desires; at least to a very large extent. And then, eventually, it will destroy the idea of the person who came up with this desire also. So this one desire has this one special thing about it; that if it persists, with integrity and earnestness, then what it will lead to is the burning of the ideas which lead to its own birth. All other desires will perpetuate the idea of its own birth. So, the one that came up with the idea that ‘I want a Ferrari’ that one will want a Lamborgini tomorrow, will want some more. But this one who has the true desire for freedom will eventually come to the understanding that this one itself was not true. And when it is seen that this is all just a play of imagination, then you see that God has always been here. No?
Because very simply we say that ‘God is everywhere’. And then we say things like ‘But why doesn’t He then guide me properly?’ or ‘Why can’t I then just get what I want?’ Where does this ‘I’ come from? We just said that ‘God is everywhere’ then this ‘I’ must be what?
Consciousness is the one doer of all of this, the light in which all of this happens, no? So when there is only pure seeing or Awareness, like in the deep sleep state, then when the waking up happens there is the birth of Beingness. So, suddenly out of just pure seeing, without anything to report on even, then there’s a Presence of a Being here; the sense ‘I am’ is here; the Presence ‘I Am’ is here. So this Consciousness is the light in which the entire world is given birth actually. So in this pure seeing, there’s the birth of a pure Being. This is happening right here, right now. It requires no intellectual understanding of any sort. All it requires is a little bit of openness, a little bit of willingness to just look.
But if you let the mind in, it will say ‘I’m trying, I’m trying, I can’t do it’. The mind will only come up and say all kinds of rubbish, saying ‘I’m trying, I’m almost there’. Anything. I’m not interested in what the mind has to say. I’m only interested whether the looking happening or not.
Losing personal identity
Just by losing this personal identity, we lose our ability to suffer. Then even the search becomes very easy, because there’s no suffering actually happening, but new insights happening every day. New insights, so then you will be able to see ‘Okay, in the pure Awareness, there is nothing at all. Even the powers of attention and belief are not there’. Then with the birth of Beingness, we also have this power to direct our attention and to give things our belief, which actually forms our identity.
So you will see that in pure turiya state, or pure Awareness, or deep sleep state you will not have all of this. And then with the birth of Beingness, all these powers come; belief, attention, identity. So what I’m saying is that when suffering goes away then all of this becomes a wonderful insight which appears. Otherwise what happens is if we’re all still looking from a personal perspective, there’s too much feverishness, there’s too much desire around it, there’s too much personal agenda. So the whole thing becomes ‘What’s in it for me?’ because the person constantly has only one mantra, which is ‘What’s in it for me?’ So if it’s still with that agenda ‘What’s in it for me, what’s in it for me?’ then all of this becomes a struggle, all of this becomes a very difficult mind game to understand, all of this becomes very, very hard work.
Truth is here, God is here, Reality is here
So you’ll find many Beings out there actually who are struggling hard or working hard at their spirituality; trying to get somewhere, doing thousands, hundreds of years of sadhana; thousands in the Himalayas. So all this sadhana is happening, but you have to go and say ‘What are you doing to find God?’ But if God is real, then why must we run around here and there, try so many different tactics, to win him over?
So in just this one simple understanding also, we then stop going here and there and trying to figure out what is what; it is just ‘Okay. Truth is here, God is here, Reality is here. Whatever is
true is here. Everything else is just imagination’. So then it becomes very simple. It just takes a few moments of clarity, and then we see that ‘Okay. This has always been this way’.
The interpreter
It’s only the interpreter, that is sitting in our heads, which makes us sort of distracted from what is real. So even what is heard in satsang, we are handing it over to the interpreter and saying ‘Okay, what do you think about this? Come in here, I need some help. Say something, will you? You always have lots to say, now say something’. So, we’re waiting for our mind’s approval about even things which are said in satsang; because that is the way we are conditioned. We have this inner teacher that we have listened to for so many years. And he’s given us nothing but misery actually; so that even when we hear what seems to be the truth, we are handing it over to him. And he will always come back and say ‘Yeah, yeah. He seemed like a genuine person but is it really possible? Maybe I need to see some more Youtubes of Mooji’. It will never say ‘Here. It’s here’. It will only say ‘Just a little more, just a little bit’. So, can we say ‘I will not pick up this energy which is so tempting and seems to be so attractive’. So without picking up a thought, what remains? When we don’t pick up a thought, then what remains?
“Bliss.”
Yes. And who experiences this bliss? Who knows about the Presence of bliss also? Because if bliss is coming, that is also saying that bliss is going. Anything that is coming is also going. But what is not going? What stays?
“Just Presence.”
“Just Being.”
So, Being cannot come and go in the waking state. ‘Can you stop being?’ You cannot stop being.
“Awareness, Consciousness.” “Just seeing.”
Awareness and Consciousness
So what is clear is that the Seeing does not stop; and the Being does not stop. So we’ve heard these fancy words for many years: Awareness and Consciousness. So pure Seeing is Awareness. And pure Being is Consciousness. You’ve seen that; they’re here. All the rest comes and goes. Can we name one thing besides this Seeing and besides this Being that does not come and go? It is the same in this state, this waking state, in the so-called dream states; everything else is coming and going. Every cell in our body is changing every few years. All the appearances around us are constantly changing.
Does this Being go? Does this Seeing go?
So the next question is: Where are you in relation to this Seeing?
If we try to find the answer from our mind, it will come up with only some spiritual answers. So if seeing is here, there must be the possibility to see where I am in relation to it also.
It must be here. Seeing is here now? Are you seeing now?
Who is seeing the mind also? Is the mind not just a bundle of thoughts? So even the mind is seen, isn’t it?
So when Masters say ‘No-mind’ it means that there is no thought; but when there is mind, there is the Seeing of that. So even no-mind is seen. That’s why I’m able to report, isn’t it, that there are no thoughts, there is no-mind; or able to report that there is a thought. But the Seeing of thought or no-thought is the same, irrespective of whether it’s thought or not. No?
This seeing: Where am I in relation to this Seeing? And not with using any logic or any past or anything. Just right now.
“I am the Seeing.” “The witness.”
“When I’m truly the Seeing, can’t find a ‘me’.”
And when are you not truly the seeing? Try to become something else? Don’t be the Seeing? Can you become…?
We are the pure witnessing itself
I don’t like using the word ‘witness’ as it sort of implies that there is a ‘witness entity’, that somebody who owns the seeing is sitting there in the backdrop somewhere and he’s sort of controlling this. But the fact is that even this witness we are not. We are the pure witnessing itself. There is no entity which owns the witnessing. And if it is understood like this, we come to the conclusion that ‘I was never an entity, I was never a thing; I was just this Seeing itself’. But if that makes some uncomfortable, we can say that ‘You are Awareness’. Awareness is not an entity. It is just the aware Presence. So just this Seeing, we have always been.
Is it possible for you not to be the Seeing? Can you become the person and show me?
“Seeing is happening. No one to make it happen. Clear seeing takes place without a seer. It is beyond the mind.”
Yes, it is prior to the mind because the mind is just a collection of these thoughts, these memories, these images. When they are not there, then there is no-mind. But we are able to report that there is no-mind. So that stays constant.
So even this witness, although it’s a good place to start, after a few satsangs, I would say ‘Okay, tell me about this witness. Tell me just one attribute about it, about the witness itself. What does it look like? Where does he live? Give me one, any one attribute’. You cannot say anything except that ‘All there is, is witnessing’.
Imagined spiritual concepts
So all entities that we can imagine ourselves to be are just imagined, even the so-called spiritual concepts that we have thought about or heard about. There are many Beings who come to satsang who say ‘I’ve seen the truth. There’s this huge black space, and in this space, I am there’. And then I say that ‘Who is the witness of this black space?’ Is that also black space, the witness?’ So it can seem like there’s a sense of spaciousness. I completely understand where they are coming from, but sometimes the trickster can just give us these visuals, saying ‘What do you want now? You want lights that are coming, with experiences of light?’ All kinds of things, right? But the witnessing is untouched by it, no matter what the content. The content could be head, it could be heart, it could be around the head. It could be a great spiritual experience; but still content. The awakening experience is also content. Ultimately it has to be said; because the awakening experience makes no difference to the witnessing. It is just part of the play itself also.
There are many who write to me and say ‘Oh, you know, Ananta, six months ago I had an awakening experience’. And then they’re expecting some congratulations coming or something, you know? Because I’ve seen many, many times awakening experiences just get in the way actually. If they’re not properly guided, what happens is it becomes spiritual ego; and they cannot see themselves apart from this awakening experience. That becomes the center of their identity. And then it’s very difficult to have a conversation with them also because they are so stuck with the idea of being an awakened Being. So anything that is said from here, that is sort of insulting the concept of their awakening, is when the conversation starts going downhill.
Suffering is God’s alarm clock
The good news is that there is a beautiful thing called suffering. And anybody who has not come to the point of truth must be at the point of suffering. Suffering is God’s alarm clock. So when suffering is there, it is only there to show you that ‘Okay, this is something left to be transcended; there’s still something which you’re hanging onto, some belief or a concept about something’. Because it is not possible to suffer without believing a false concept; and all concepts are false. Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi used to say that ‘Use them as thorns to remove other thorns. Then throw away those thorns’. You don’t have to hang on to anything.
But if somebody is saying that ‘This is the way it is; I am saying because I’m so special’ then I would be very suspicious of that awakening. Because it is seen that there is no concept which is ultimately true. Even Nisargadatta Maharaj used to say that ‘All that can be said truly is that ‘I Am’ and in the end, even that is not true’. Because even the ‘I Am’ is arising within you; the witnessing is there for the birth of the Being. And where do we have to go to see this? Nowhere. It’s here right now. It is true right here, right now.
So what is seen is that it has always been this way; that I am untouched by the appearances, including the appearance and the disappearance of this person-entity which got so much belief from me in the past. Many times when we say this, the person is wanting to say something, or yell out something, or beat me up. [Laughs].
The pillars of the person idea
So, what are the pillars of this person idea? Some of the pillars of the person idea are identification with the body; that is one pillar. And when asked, they say ‘I must be this body. So clear’. But then when we look at what our problems are, what our issues in life are, what are things that truly concern us, we find that a very small percentage of them concern the body. They’re more to do with relationships, work, special relationships, money in the bank, no? So the body is completely unconcerned by all of these. So they realize that although we say that most of humanity believes themselves to be the body, it is not true.
So most Beings actually do not believe that they are just the body; but they’ve never bothered to look at what they believe themselves to be. And everybody’s going around pretending to be a person. It’s a very normal part of our terminology, isn’t it? ‘What kind of person are you? I want to be a good person’. Everything is around this person idea. That’s why I like to use the word ‘person’ because it is more personal than using the word ‘ego’. The minute I would say ‘ego’ you would say ‘Oh, that’s not me. I know some people who are egoistic. That’s not me’. But the minute I say ‘person’ it’s like ‘Yes’. Sounds like a harmless concept. But actually it is the ego itself. And wherever there is a person, there is suffering.
So, Mooji actually joked with me once and said ‘Ananta, you know, this personal thing just doesn’t work’. It just doesn’t work. There is no person who is happy, peaceful, joyful. It is only those that have discovered that this person is not what they are which come to this peace and joy. What you are is untouched by any of this.
Spiritual experiences come and go
So, many meditators, they will have some deep experiences; the next day they start their meditation with the expectation that ‘I should start from that point’. You know? ‘I saw some blue light here that I will see today also, because I will do it better, the technique’. And when it doesn’t happen, it’s so frustrating. So if you’re attached to spiritual experiences, then again there’s this attachment to the idea of what spirituality means.
So there are no practices. There is nothing to be done. It’s like Adyashanti says ‘Around which mountain does a shoe need to walk to become a shoe?’ If you are the Self, then what practice would make you the Self? Practices, at best, can be helpful in removing the person idea. But not if they’re done personally. I don’t have a problem with meditation; I have a problem with ‘the meditator’ idea. I have no problem with any spiritual practice; yoga, breathing, everything is fine; but as long as it is not reinforcing the person idea.
Drop the heavy bags
Initially it seems like some vigilance, but actually like my Master says, we are so used to carrying heavy bags that when we say ‘Drop your thought’ actually it means just dropping the bags. It does not mean a lot of hard work. The hard work is actually in the carrying. So now what happens with many in satsang is that to believe your next few thoughts, it will feel like very hard work. It will actually seem like ‘Oh, why would you want to go through all that?’ Believing a
thought will seem like more work, which is the true place; because an actual state is to let everything go.
So although this fear might come (which is another thought actually) that ‘What’s going to happen?’ All thoughts again. But don’t say thoughts must not come. Don’t say that; because this is not about resisting thought. Because when we resist, we will repress, and it will sort of come back later. So just let everything come and go.
I use this in every satsang, ever since I’ve heard this sentence: ‘Allow your thoughts to come and go, just don’t serve them tea’. It was a great Zen Master who said this. That you already are that which you have been searching for. In fact you cannot not be that. The ‘before’ was the complete belief in the person idea, and the ‘after’ was the dropping of the person idea completely. And with that, then all of this becomes a very, very easy, happy dream.
It will only be seen that it has always been this pure Awareness. There is only one Being. This Being is all-encompassing actually. It is not that there is a separate Being, and a separate Being and a separate Being. All Being is This. The sense ‘I Am’ is the one Being.
What Does Freedom Mean For You?
What will convince you of your freedom? What event must happen upon which you will say ‘Now I am free forever’? The person is never free. Therefore, if you’re in this to bring a sense of freedom to the ego, then that will never happen. Therefore it is bound to be a very disappointing journey. But if you can really discover, just with a simple looking, that the mythical one (the person) can never be you, then you will find that what you really are cannot be bound, even by the strongest chains in the universe. What can bind you? For one who cannot be bound, what is freedom?
What does freedom mean for you? Is it just another personal state? Or is it to see what is always real? Realization means that we see that we have always only been free; that no chain can ever bind us. Even the strongest attachment has just been an illusion, has just been based on beliefs and concepts.
Realizing your own Self is the simplest thing. It is simpler than simple. It does not need any effort. It needs no time. It needs nothing at all. But this ‘nothing’ seems very difficult for the mind. The mind does not understand ‘nothing’ actually. It only understands ‘something’. Therefore, when we say ‘nothing needs to be done’ it is the most frustrating instruction for the mind. But in this moment, if we were to drop this mind, then it is clear that what has always been here is this pure Being; even prior to this pure Being, the pure Awareness sees even this one.
The past is only another energy construct from our memory. What is real is the right now. Therefore to be awake, is to be awake right now.
What we need to understand is that even if you were to follow every thought that comes, you are still the pure Seeing itself. The only thing that changes is that if we were to follow every thought that comes, there seems to be a lot of personal suffering, a lot of personal misery. But any personal suffering cannot actually touch this seeing. This Awareness is untouched by all the content, any content.
All expectations must be of the personal variety. When there are expectations, even though they might be expectations of freedom itself, this expectation is also personal. And as you stay with this seeing, all these expectations will also get cleaned up. It does happen in this game this way, that there is this process of stabilization, this process of cleaning up. But don’t label it as that. Because the moment we start to say that this is ‘stabilization’ or ‘cleaning up’ then we are giving it room to stay. We are creating room for the mind to stay in the saying that ‘this is stabilization’.
So all that we expect, all the commentary even about the process of realization, comes from a personal perspective. From a personal perspective, freedom is unattainable. From a personal perspective, the highest a person can go is to get to a point of intellectual understanding and spiritual ego. That is the highest the imagined entity can go. So stop catering to anything that the person is saying. Drop this monkey off your back. Don’t trust the interpreter even to make judgments about your state. The interpreter will always say that ‘this is still to be done’ or ‘the awakening goes away’ or ‘there are times when you’re not free’. It never speaks about the right now.
With this awareness, you see that there is a distance between you and your thoughts. They’re not automatically believed to be yours and you can see that there is still some juice left; there’s still some juice left in some of them. But as you get more and more glimpses of your own true Self, you will not believe any thought because all thoughts are referring to you as a person. So just this awareness itself is very good. This distance will keep increasing, and the thoughts will become less and less meaningful for you, and soon they will become just powerless. When thoughts lose their power over us, it means that there is no identity remaining here for which these thoughts have meaning. When theses false identities are dropped, then only the truth remains.
The ‘person’ can never enjoy anything
You say ‘It feels like I am personally enjoying this peace’. The person can actually never enjoy anything. All enjoyment is for the one who is the doer himself. So there’s a saying that ‘You are the doer and You are the experiencer’ which means that God, Consciousness, Being is the one doer; and God, Consciousness, Being is the only experiencer. The person, actually, just does not exist. The non-existent one cannot even enjoy anything. It is only interpreting this enjoyment saying ‘This feels like it is my enjoyment’. But without the interpretation of it, does it seem like a personal enjoyment or just a Presence which is here?
Wanting no more life-times on earth, a ‘Master’s Awakening’
It’s very good to surrender even this concept of no more reincarnation, no more life-times on earth. Because the one that is here, that is playing this game, at some level must be enjoying this play. Isn’t it? Therefore, set no conditions for what God must do. Just see that the belief in the separation was completely unfounded. [smile]. It’s very good that all these things are coming out because in the past we’ve heard so much of all of this. It’s good that all these concepts are now being surrendered.
One thought believed in can pretend to cover the sun. The sun actually never gets covered. It is only that our attention goes to the thought. Therefore when the attention is with the thought, the sun doesn’t seem to be visible. It does not mean that it is not there. It’s just that what is given our attention seems to be our reality. That is why it is said like this, that one thought or one finger nail can cover the sun.
How to get this monkey-mind off my back?
The simplest way I give you is that: Don’t believe any thought that comes. All that is required is, in this moment, not to believe any thought. Don’t even say that ‘I must not believe in any thought in the future’. Just in any moment, don’t believe the thought. It is that simple actually. And without believing a thought, tell me how it feels, whether it feels impossible or possible.
The ego cannot actually do anything. It cannot experience anything. It is neither the doer nor the experiencer. It is only the pretender. It is actually You pretending to be a person. But this pretense can never come true. If the ego is only a bundle of thoughts and similar energies, then how can a bundle of thoughts do anything? In this realization we see that even karma, even the
law of karma does not apply to us. It applies only to the ego. It applies only to the delusion. The true Self is beyond all of these concepts. Even the understanding that thought leads to action is part of the delusion, actually. This insight will come to you. You will see this as the reality once there is dissolution of the person idea.
Where is this person?
‘The person is feeling very sad’ you say, because the thought is coming that ‘she’ll never make it’. And this ‘she’ is where? So I say ‘This she is where?’ because you’re not saying ‘I’ll never make it’, which itself is very good. So, this ‘She will never make it’…, where is this one? Does it have any existence whatsoever? Is the ego any more real than the tooth fairy? All of you have this concept in your cultures. [smile]. Is the ego any more real than the tooth fairy?
Then you say ‘I don’t want to give all to God with no conditions or knowledge of what will happen’. God is the only doer anyway. You-as-God are the only doer anyway. Therefore, it doesn’t ultimately matter whether we say that ‘I’ve given it to God’ or not. There is no other force here. All is Consciousness itself. Just drop all the thoughts. Drop every thought, including all of this.
Just 3, 2, 1, Drop it.
These thoughts are not in service to you because I know that this thought ‘She’ll never make it’ is just not true. I see you for what you truly are. I can never see you as this person.
Try it my way for a few days
The mind will not accept what is being spoken here. At best it will be a very meek acceptance. But I am not interested in the acceptance of the mind. Don’t try to convince your mind of anything that is being spoken here in satsang. You cannot refer the knowledge in satsang back to the mind to get the mind’s approval. It is not in the mind’s interest to approve this. The mind is only asking ‘What is in it for me?’ There is nothing here for the mind. This ‘nothing’ which is here for the mind seems like death or torture to the mind itself.
So don’t go with the mind’s idea about what is being said here. Because if the mind is the cause of all misery and suffering, then the mind is not interested in the end of misery. It is not interested in losing its supremacy over you. So whose voice will you hear? Whose voice will you listen to? I’m not forcing you to hear this voice. All I’m saying is that for many, many years you have tried it the mind’s way. Just for a few days, try it my way. Then, take a decision.
With the losing of interest in the mind, you will find the birth of the intuitive energy inside you which will guide you from moment to moment. The same energy which speaks through this mouth will be present with you. It is already present with you. It is just that it seems to be unrevealed because of belief in the person idea. You cannot sit on two chairs at the same time. You can try but I’m sure it’s not a comfortable experience. Once you drop this one chair of ego, then Beingness itself is your guide in every moment. Then ultimately there is a dropping of all guidance required also; but you don’t make this conclusion. Let the Master decide it.
It is possible for everyone
The Master has always said that ‘There is no difference between me and you. We are one’. This is what needed more emphasis. The emphasis on the specialness of ‘the Awakened Ones’ makes it seem very unapproachable. But I am saying that ‘This is your true state. Your natural Being is ever present here and it is possible for everyone, in any instance, to become completely clear of their identity’. The mind’s voice will always say ‘Just a little bit more, just a few more satsangs, almost there’. Just keep this voice aside, and let life unfold exactly how it is meant to.
Which identities still affect us?
Only the imagined one can be heard by anything at all. Only our identity gets heard. Only our identity feels an attack. Only the identity feels a need to defend. Therefore it is great that, when these moments come, we feel the pinch or we feel the poking because that exposes the identity which is still there. Then very easily, once it is seen, it can be transcended. Some identities are the juiciest ones. Which are the juiciest identities: Partner, life partner, special relationship in this way. That is one. Second is: worker, employee, business man. Third is: care-giver, care-taker. Fourth is: spiritual seeker, awakened one. We can identify based on what still affects us. Very quickly in the inquiry you will see that it is just belief in some concepts. None of these are true.
Lately I am experiencing some dying
Let all these ideas die, let all the concepts die. Many Beings have this experience of the death of ‘the person’. It is not a prerequisite; I’m not wanting to create any expectations. But it is very often seen that, along the way, you will experience the death of this personal idea. The great thing is that You will be around to experience it. Therefore, the experiencing is there. The experiencing is untouched, even in the process of the idea, the personal idea, dying. That experiencing does not change, irrespective of whether the content is of dying or of anything else.
The mind is so noisy
Don’t expect that the mind will shut up. The mind will try to become as noisy as possible, will try to create a tsunami of thoughts to get your attention and belief back in. Let the mind throw all these tantrums, and you will see that when it is not nourished by our belief, and then by our attention, you will see that it does not even then retain the power to throw these tantrums. All this mind noise can be allowed and let go of. So don’t even have the expectation that the mind will stop. Let the mind do whatever it wants. You stay as the Self alone.
Satsang is about Presence, not the words
It is all very simple but to the mind it is completely complicated. So when we hear satsang just as the words, then it can seem very complicated actually. But when the Presence is felt then the understanding unfolds on its own. Therefore just to be open, and to be in satsang, the undeniable Presence will be felt.
No one who has found their true identity, who has realized their true identity, has regretted it. No one has asked for the personal identity back after coming to a point of realization. No matter how the external circumstances seemed to have worked in the life of all these Beings, there is nobody who said that ‘Take away my realization and give me back my stuff’.
Neither specialness nor false humility
In some cultures, it is ingrained to give a sense of specialness to this identity. In other cultures, it is ingrained to give a sense of false humility to the identity. Both the sense of specialness and false humility are ego itself, are from the ego itself. If there is oneness, then there is no distance at all, and when there is no distance, no separation, then there’s no concept either of humility or specialness. If we are one, then we don’t need to have a forced humility or an ingrained specialness.
Who, What is aware of this thought?
One of the simplest forms of inquiry is just to inquire: ‘Who is this thought referring to; who is this thought speaking to?’ An even stronger question to ask is: ‘Who is aware of this thought? What is aware of this thought?’
Resistance is Non-Acceptance of What Is
Let’s look at resistance. Most thoughts are resisting reality, in the sense that they’re not saying that ‘What is here is perfectly fine’. What they are saying is that ‘This is here but something else is actually what I want’. The non-acceptance of the ‘what is’ is resistance actually. Any time we buy this kind of thought which says that ‘what is’ is not good enough, or ‘what is’ should be different, then that is resistance. If you were to just accept the ‘what is’ then there would be no resistance.
That’s why acceptance is one of the most important fruits of satsang. Because we get tired of fighting life. The life before satsang seems to be life with a lot of just fighting with whatever has come up. Most of our cultures are built around this. ‘Don’t give up’. ‘You can win’. ‘You can do it’. ‘You must’. ‘You can’. Ambition. Leadership. Most of these concepts are based around ‘How we can fight with life and win?’ But there are two problems with this.
The first problem is that we hardly ever define what our goal for this is. What do we mean by winning actually? Because if winning truly meant just coming to a place of peace and happiness and joy, then that is very simple to get to. We say that is what we want, but we also say that this amount of money or this kind of relationship or something like that will get us there. That hardly ever works, or I can say that it never works actually; because for the mind there is never any peace in any of this. It always says ‘Ok, well done. Let’s go a little more’. We start with a vague idea about what it means to live and when we start with this vague idea of what it means to live, then even if we achieve all that we want to achieve, it does not give us the satisfaction we are looking for.
The second and the bigger problem is that we just presume that we must be this imagined entity. All goals, all things that we want to achieve, are for this imagined entity; which is a great sham, isn’t it? It’s a great sham and it’s a great shame also [Laughter] that we spend so many lifetimes just catering to this imagined entity. All resistance is in the form of this imagined entity. All resistance is because of belief in this imagined entity; that there is still a person there that wants life to be in a certain way. And when life does not seem to be going in that way, then we fight it or we believe thoughts that it should not be that way.
Depression cannot happen without belief in a thought
To get depressed is the simplest thing. All we have to do is take one hour to ourselves and just believe every thought that is crossing our mind. Take one hour and say ‘I’m going to believe every thought that crosses my mind’. And I can guarantee you that after that one hour you will be depressed. It’s very, very easy to get depressed. It’s a very attractive state for the ego because in the depressed state it is a constant state of following our thoughts, believing all our negativity, believing all our thoughts about everything that is coming up in the world. It is a very great state for the ego. That kind of depressed state actually can last for a long, long time.
If we get really deeply depressed then something snaps sometimes. Like you said, Eckhart Tolle had this very strong depression which lasted fifteen years. It seems he had such a strong depression that one day he just said ‘I am sick of myself’. And in that one statement there was
grace. He saw that: ‘I am sick of myself means what? Are there two of me? Who is the one who’s sick of who?’ In that question, that simple inquiry, he says the ego just dropped and he found himself completely free.
Depression cannot happen without belief in a thought. I have many close ones who suffer from these issues of depression and things like that. I see that there are many bio-chemical reactions; many of these things happen. So if it’s a strong thing; I say it’s okay to get some treatment if you feel that some treatment is required. Like we say, if the car needs some servicing, get it some servicing. Just do not say that ‘I am the car’.
You will find that, more and more as you are in Satsang, you will have the ability to let go of your thoughts, and if you let go of all your thoughts it’s just not possible to get depressed.
Resistance to world events
What is a world event? Is it just not another appearance? I know it sounds like I’m being cruel or without any compassion when I say things like this. There are many things which are constantly happening in the world. It can go on for many, many centuries like this. Who is the one who is experiencing disgust? Who is the one who gets disappointed? We have to see that there is a fine line there.
So like I say, it’s okay to say that this colour is red, but does this colour have the ability to cause suffering for me? Do I not see that this red is just another projection of the same Consciousness? The same Consciousness which projects our dreams is projecting this so-called waking state as well. All this play of maya can continue. We can have preferences about it. Like we go to a restaurant, we see the menu and then pick; because spiritual doesn’t mean that we don’t select from a menu, does it? But what you pick should not have the ability, or the menu should not have the ability to cause suffering to you.
So this is like saying that ‘It is completely clear to me that I am not the person. Therefore all actions that happen through this body-mind are all done by Consciousness. But it also seems like everybody else is a person. The ones who are at war. The ones who are experiencing the war’. Are they people? Or is it just not Consciousness playing as Consciousness itself?
This does not mean that if there is some urge here to take some action, to be a little bit of an activist about it, this does not mean that you don’t do any of that. If that is flowing, let that also flow. But don’t assign any person to it, either on the side that agrees with you or on the side that disagrees with you.
You have seen now that no person dwells here. No person can dwell here. It is only Being itself. Then it must be seen that it is only Being that is here. Just because an appearance becomes strong doesn’t make it stop being an appearance. The Leela will play in such a way that it pulls you, it pulls you into giving it a sense of reality.
Why do we get negative thoughts for no reason?
We get negative thoughts so that we remain distracted from our true nature. These are the tools of the mind. These are the tools of the ego that keep us distracted from our true nature. Because if you were not to believe these negative thoughts, our true reality as Consciousness itself, as Atma itself, would be completely clear very, very quickly. But you will find that moments of clarity will come, then some thought out of nowhere. It could be a ten-year-old issue which should be long forgotten. Somebody had hurt you at that point of time. You know? Just out of nowhere it will come. Just when you feel some moments of clarity come.
The good news is that, without your belief, they do not have any power over you. They get their power only from you. Our thoughts, inherently, don’t have any power at all. But when we believe them, we have the power as Consciousness. With the power of belief, then they seem to become real for us.
You will transcend all of these issues. Welcome them. Don’t say that this must not happen. You say ‘Okay this is here and still causes some picture. Good, very good; so now I can look at this’. It will very simply be inquired into and transcended.
If all these things would not happen, there are two possibilities. One is that you become very arrogant very fast. That ‘I’ve got it. Now ‘I am that’. Then we would become very complacent. ‘Yeah. It’s all That’. So it’s very good. Life knows exactly what it is doing actually. The times where it seems to be collaborating with us the least, those are the biggest opportunities for us to transcend all of it. That’s why in the Chinese language I believe the word for crisis and opportunity is the same. What seems like a crisis in the appearance is actually an opportunity for us to transcend it.
I recognize awareness only when I’m alone or in a peaceful environment.
It seems that way initially. That’s why it’s good to have these things like Silent Retreats, these satsangs which are all in silence. But I do not advocate that we must all go to some cave and live there. It’s good to keep facing the world. Keep facing what the world has to show us, so that we can keep checking what is still to be transcended. If there is intent and earnestness here, soon you will walk in the most crowded place, and in the strongest environment where there’s all kinds of noise, it will nor touch you at all.
Actually the truth is that it is not touching you already. For what we truly are is untouched. It only seems that belief seems to be given more automatically in these situations.
The thought of not making decisions scares me.
Who is making the decision? If there is no person, then who is the decision-maker? Just contemplate and say: ‘Okay, I cannot find the person. That much is clear. But there’s still some juice in the decision-maker concept. So who must make the decision if no person is here? Who was the decision-maker?’
This is all for You
He says ‘There are 8 billion people in the world’. I would say there are 8 billion people in the appearance. In this so-called appearance of this waking state, then there seem to be 8 billion people. We go to sleep in the night. There’s a dream state where there seems to be another few million, billion, trillion people. So where do all these people come from? Are they not projected in the light of the same Consciousness? Are there any people when you are not the Being? When the Being is not present, are there any people?
That’s why I say that it is all about You, actually. This is all for You. You are not a person. You are the Supreme One Itself. The Supreme One has picked up the belief that ‘I am a person’. The Supreme One Himself has created this satsang to rid Himself of the person. So the Supreme One is playing this game of becoming deluded and then becoming awake to His own true nature. There is no-one but That One. There is only That and You are That. No person can know reality, because no person has ever existed here. All people have only been imagined. They are only figments of our imagination.
Even if you were to say that ‘This body is real’ can you show me where the person is? Can you show me that one who has interpersonal relationships? Who has problems at work? That is not referring to the body. So, in the body or outside the body, can you show me where this person is? And no-one has been able to show me so far. Therefore what we say often in satsang is that the person is a second-level illusion. Even at this level, if we were to presume that all this is completely real, even at this level the person just does not exist. The universe does not make a mistake and it has perfect timing. So all that is appearing, let it appear. Don’t judge. Don’t presume to know better than God what needs to happen.
The theme for today seems to be resistance. So when we’re resisting, actually what are we doing? We’re questioning God’s judgment; that God does not know how to run this Universe. We may believe that ‘I’ know better. But this ‘I’ we cannot find.
Don’t be scared of ‘personhood’
You are That One. You are the one with the Pure Awareness, within which Being also takes place. No matter what you would do, you cannot become something else. We can only imagine that we are this person. We can never become the person. Therefore don’t even be scared of personhood.
Many, after satsang, start becoming scared of the personhood concept. ‘Oh, I went back into the person. I became a person again’. You’ll hear these words very often, but nothing actually changes. It’s not such a horrible report for me to hear; because you imagined yourself to be a person again for a few moments, and then clarity came back.
There is no person, so the decision-maker must be God; this Consciousness itself. That’s why we say that ‘One doer and one experiencer’. We’ve captured half of it now. One doer, isn’t it? So therefore there can only be one doer which is God. Now, who is the experiencer? If there is no
person, then who’s the experiencer? Even the choice to relax or not is not the person’s choice because the person does not exist.
Beingness is here
We cannot stop being. The quickest way to find Being is to try and stop being. Then you realise very quickly that it is the ever-present One in the waking state. The quickest way to find Being is to try to stop being. This is very simple to find. The mind will not recognise it as Being. But what you are, Pure Awareness itself, knows that this is true. So don’t expect your mind, at least initially, to testify to this fact, of the simplicity of this entirety. In fact, so much laughter will arise because all of this was so simple, so clear, that you will wonder how so many years by went in this so-called search.
Chapter 7
Complete Simplicity
Don’t Try to Go Home. You Are Home
Who are you without your past? Who are we without our pasts? Suppose that all memory was just made up, just imagined. Who would we be without our memory? And who are you without your future? Without your ideas of what the future must be, who are you? When these ideas about who we were and who we want to be are kept aside, then we are what IS.
Right now, in this moment, be free from all ideas about your past. Stop interpreting your past to mean something. Stop deciding what must happen in the future. Let go of past and future right now. There is no time like the present. The present is the present because of the Presence. The Presence is only here. The Presence is only now. Drop all ideas about past and future. Be a newborn baby this very moment, in every moment. Be completely fresh right here, right now. Nothing has ever happened and nothing is going to happen. Is this Freedom, or is this a sense of disappointment to you?
Charity work
“Is charity work better in letting go of this identity?”
I would not necessarily say that charity work is better as work. This might come as a surprise to some of you that I’m saying this. But it is not the content of work actually, but whether we are identifying as the doer of that action. I used to actually run a charity many, many years ago. It was called the Kushal Foundation where we used to have doctors take care of under-privileged children in the slums of Bangalore. But if charity is done with a sense of a ‘person’ doing the charity, then in the charity work I’ve seen the strongest egos I’ve ever encountered, actually. I’ve seen many, many egos that are so strong because it becomes all about personal glory, it becomes all about specialness. Note that I’m not saying that we must not do charity, I’m only saying we must not give rise to the person idea, irrespective of our content of work.
You are not your label
You also say ‘I suffer from thoughts regarding my work as a doctor’. But you cannot show me where this doctor is. So ‘doctor’ is just another identity you have taken on for yourself. But this doctor identity is dressing up a non-existent entity. The person who is a doctor just does not exist. The most natural reaction is to say ‘But I am the doctor’. But this ‘I’, can you show me this ‘I’ who is the doctor? The mind will come and say ‘But that is very difficult’. Therefore we say to just let go of your thoughts first. It feels so deluded and confused by our thoughts that true inquiry can never happen actually. So the simplest way first is to let go of all thoughts.
What does it mean when we say let go of all thoughts? It only means divest them of your belief. When you’re so established in your true nature, then there will be no fear of the future also. Because you realize that no matter what the content of this life is, in reality you do not change in any way. The content of your life does not touch you at all.
The power of the Now
“I cannot find the identity right now.”
We can never find the identity in the right now. The moment we look for the identity, we see that the identity was not real. That is the power of the Present. That is the power of Now; that in the now when we look for the identity, it is never found.
The thoughts can be allowed to sneak in, but don’t hold onto them. Let the thoughts come and let the thoughts go. You will say that ‘attention goes to them’. It is true that, initially, I do not say that withdraw your complete attention from them; but what I do say is that divest them of your belief at least. It is easier to divest all thoughts from your belief.
Therefore, when a thought comes, all you do is start with divesting your belief from it. The simple way of doing that is to just let it come and let it go. You will see that they will just flow like this. If it seems too sticky, then you can inquire and say ‘Who is this thought speaking to? Who is this thought speaking to?’ You will find that these thoughts will start losing their bite, they will start losing their potency. They will lose their strength.
As they start losing their strength, you will find that your attention is automatically withdrawing from them as well. Thoughts will not take so much of your attention once belief is withdrawn from them. Once you stop caring about what they are saying, then your attention will not go so much to them. Once you have no interest in the content of thought, then thought will become miniscule. They will have practically no power over you.
Just with this simplicity, letting all thoughts come and go, I can guarantee you that this is the end of your suffering. It’s not a small thing that we say. It seems like the simplest thing, but it is the most powerful sadhana and the simplest way. Ultimately, what we all wanted was this freedom from suffering. And just in the simplest way, it is yours.
So the identity does not exist without belief in some thought. Without believing the thought, can you tell me who you are? Without relying on a thought, can you find who we are? Just in the pure looking itself.
Why must we have to refer to thoughts to find out who we are? To refer to a thought would be like saying ‘Go and see; outside the window, what is there’ and you want to refer the Internet to find out what’s outside the window. So instead of looking outside the window, you go and do a Google search. That is the same thing that we are doing; instead of just looking at who we are, we are asking our mind to answer this question for us. But this interpreter, this imagined one, will never give us the right answer because it actually does not know anything about reality. It has no capacity to look. Yet we want this one to give us the right answer.
So keep aside all answers of the mind and just look for yourself to see what is outside your window. You can look for yourself: Who is behind these eyes? Who is looking through these eyes? Is there a person sitting there? What does this person look like?
You are the Pure Awareness in which even Being wakes up, and then it is called the waking state. It is seen that ‘I Am’. Even the ‘I Am-ness’ is seen. The seeing of this ‘I Am-ness’ also, this seeing is You. This Pure Awareness is You. Then it becomes perfectly clear that ‘I was never a thing. I was never an entity. I can never be a phenomena. All phenomenon arise within Me’.
If the Self is real, it must be here now
You are already free. I refuse to go with your imagination about bondage. If the Self is real, it must be here now. This is self-realization. This is freedom. Refuse to go with any imagination; no matter how compelling or strong it seems, you stay here with me. Refuse to leave home. Don’t try to go home, you are already home. Refuse to believe the voice which is trying to convince you otherwise. Believe this voice, which is coming from your own Heart. Stay here now. What is here right now does not need time. It does not need effort. It does not need space. It is the dropping of the notions of time, effort and space. Drop all ideas about yourself. Let all of them come and go. They have nothing to do with You.
If you refuse to believe all ideas about yourself, then you’ll see that your own natural state is always That. You Are this Pure Awareness. You Are the Unchanging One. Time and space are meaningless for You. The universe is here in service to You. But it will never serve the person. Find out who You are. If you still feel there is something you can do, then only do this: Find out who You are. Don’t presume anything about yourself. Don’t accept even the Master’s word about yourself. See for yourself who you are. Find out what separates you. Find out if anything separates you from the Seeing itself. What is the distance between Awareness and you?
From this perspective, it is seen that it was always this way, isn’t it? There has never been a moment where truly you became the ego. You only pretended to be one. Reality cannot change. Reality needs no effort.
In the Satguru’s presence, all Freedom is here. All understanding arises on its own. When we drop all effort, then we see that to realize our own Self is the simplest thing. It is prior to any effort. Effort implies going somewhere, doing something. But to go somewhere only seems to take us away from the Truth. Where must we need to go to find our own Self? The Self is always here alone. What effort is needed to come here? What effort is needed to be in the Now? Before time and space, You are. Before even Consciousness or Beingness, You are. Where must you go to find yourself? What confirmation are you seeking?
Drop all concepts about the past and the future. Drop all concepts about yourself. Be the newborn one. You have no history. You have nowhere to go. You have nothing to learn. And there is nobody you need to become. Stop trying. Drop all efforts. Don’t resist. Don’t expect. And don’t complain. Don’t judge what is. Accept the appearance as an appearance. Know that Reality is untouched by any appearance. This is Freedom. Here I Am. Here we are One.
Consciousness Speaking with Consciousness
Just relax. Let go of all that needs to be done and let it all unfold on its own. It’s that simple actually.
We often say ‘It does not feel like my feet are on the ground; it feels like I am going to fall any minute’. Because flying seems new to us, initially it seems a little shaky. That is when the Master says ‘Come, come, let’s fly together. Hold my hand and we will fly together’. Together as one actually. The whole spiritual journey is condensed into this, to get you to a point where there is no need to hold on to any thought. There is no fear of falling. You will love the Master so much that you know that if he is there with you then nothing can hurt you at all. And with this love, letting go becomes the simplest thing.
What is letting go actually? It is not really that we are hanging from some cliff. If it was real that we were hanging from some cliff, then I would understand the fear, but the fact is that we are always the One in which all this appearance is happening. We are even more Supreme than the Supreme Lord itself who is creating this entire universe.
So there is no cliff, there is no flying, and there is no falling also. It only seems this way. In this play, this is how it plays out. Your own Heart is holding your hand. The instant it is realized that it is all One, then everything is completely clear. So letting go is only to not believe the thought that comes next. That much we can do, no?
The idea of letting go of control scares me
So, don’t plan the future, don’t worry about the past. All that is required is let go of your next thought. Every moment, when the thought comes, just allow it to come and go. You don’t even need to make any conclusions about whether you have let go or not. Even that conclusion is another thought. Your very perfume, the perfume of your Beingness will bless everyone around you; and even then you will be loath to make any proclamations.
How to let go of the desire for liberation also?
It is your very desire for liberation which has got you here; and here you are being told to let go of just simply the next thought. Whatever it might be, however great, important, humble, fantastic, useful, meaningful, however it might sound, you just let go. You will see that this desire for liberation will also dissolve along with the idea of separation, the idea of being bound. The idea of being bound and the idea of liberation will dissolve together. Because liberation only means to see that ‘I have never been bound actually’. There is no real bondage here at all. So the desire for liberation has done its job, it has done whatever it had to do; it has brought you to satsang. Now you will listen to the voice of the Master.
The voice of the Master says: simply just let go of your next thought. Today I am not even saying let go of all thoughts. In any moment, just let go of your next thought. That is all that is needed. Then you will see that automatically all belief, all attention and all identification with
thought goes away, and your true nature is what emerges clearly for you. It has always been this but we have only been distracted by our thoughts. Nothing real has changed actually.
Surrendering means already surrendered
“Can I fully count on the Satguru in all situations under all aspects?”
Yes. Who else would you count on? If you were to give me a list of options, you would say Satguru and who else? Who are the others that you would count on? What is the reality of the existence of any of the others? So surrender only means to see that you are already surrendered. There is nothing you can do anyway, because the person just does not exist. So when you speak from the perspective of the person we can say that you just do not exist at all. So who else then would you count on?
We must see this now, that when we say surrender we are recognizing the truth of what already is. You are not the doer, you are only an idea. If you still refer to yourself as a person, then be clear that you are only an idea, a figment of imagination. Pure conjecture. So what option do you have except to count on the Satguru? The only option you have is to either see reality for what it is, or to continue to live in this imaginary delusion of a separate existence.
God is one, not two
God does not need to rely on thoughts to execute his plan. If what is meant to happen through this body-mind will happen, then the interpreter or the narrator is just keeping your attention distracted. If that is truly God’s plan then it does not need to convey it through thought. Who is God speaking to? Because if God needed to convey it through some thought that would mean that there are two. There is God and there is you; and the medium of communication is required between them. This is not the reality. The separate person just does not exist, and you are God itself. All these thoughts can safely be let go of, and you will find that automatically the action is happening through this body.
“If the person isn’t the doer then nothing at all can be done, even surrendering.”
We are not asking the person to surrender, because we know that a person cannot do anything at all. This is communication between Consciousness, within Consciousness, with Consciousness itself. That is why we jokingly say that ‘This is rehab for God himself’. God himself has created this delusion, God himself has created this situation, God himself has got identified with the belief of a person, and God himself is saying ‘Get me out of this’ and God himself is answering that: ‘It is simple. You were never a person, you are God himself. No person can do anything and no person can experience anything; there is no person here’. That is why I say that to say to God ‘You are the doer but I am still the experiencer’ is still only the half-truth. The full truth is that only God does and only God experiences. So this is nothing but God’s communion with himself.
To give you an instruction as a person would give reality to the person idea. Nothing is said here which is meant for some person to do. The person is the result of some thought. The person idea
is only the result of belief in thought. Therefore a belief or an idea cannot be given any instruction. Who would carry out this instruction?
The root of this is that you still consider that you are a person, and the person must do something including surrender. But we are not referring to you and me as people. Sometimes we might, just for the ease of pointing or if the words come like that; sometimes it can be done like that just for communication. But truly this is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness. It is truly a monologue actually, and that is why it is ‘Advaita’ [‘not two’].
The natural state feels new to us
“Suddenly something feels very raw.”
What you are calling raw, I am calling your natural state without the burden of doership. This is the natural state. It will seem new initially. Like my Master says, it seems there is a switching over of power from the person to Being itself. It can be experienced for many as withdrawal symptoms from the person, which are not that great. For some others it can be experienced as bliss, joy. But what these by-products are is not important. What is important is that a person is being dissolved. The idea of a person is not being believed in anymore.
This natural joy will always be with you. That is why we can only laugh with those who say ‘I have renounced the world’ and they go about life in a very glum, morose fashion. All that is needed is to renounce the mind, to renounce the ego. Once that is renounced, you will see in every moment; and every movement, like you said, is full of joy. It ceases to be even something special actually.
So simple, isn’t it? Have we gone too far? Are we just presuming that it is so simple, or do all of you see the simplicity of this?
It is impossible for me to see you as anything but my own true Self. In the play it might seem like there are some words which are coming from you where I might need to be a little strong to clarify those, or to pretend as if it is two people talking; but truly I can only see you as my true Self.
Hold my hand, and jump
It is so simple actually. A thought actually seems like an invitation or a ticket to get on to a merry-go round. You buy this ticket with your belief and attention, and you are on top of the merry-go round. It might seem fun at first, but when it keeps going round and round and round and round and round and round, then you will say ‘I am sick of this. I want to get off the ride’. Then I say ‘You hold my hand and you jump off. Nothing will happen to you, you will not get hurt’. Initially, for some of you, there is this fear of getting hurt from jumping off the ride, or maybe there is an expectation still that the ride might get better. But all the ride is doing is going around and around and around. When you get truly tired, then you will accept my invitation to hold my hand and jump off. Then we watch this ride together from a distance.
Maybe later, again, sometimes the invitation of a thought comes: ‘Come, come, this ride is different, it will actually get you some joy’. We purchase this invitation sometimes, and we jump back on. Sometimes when you just jump back on the ride you are saying ‘Hey, this is so much fun’. But after a while, after it has gone around and around and around again a few times, you come back to the Satguru and say ‘Hold my hand and help me down’. That is all that is happening in this world.
If you are enjoying the ride, enjoy the ride. If you are tired of the ride, you hold my hand and jump off, and we can enjoy it from a distance. It is as simple as that.
Rest in These Simple Pointings
Freedom is available to all of you now. Right here, right now. It’s the simplest thing and it’s available right now. Can we make it simpler than this?
Some of you said ‘I cannot do Self-inquiry. It is too difficult. It is too abstract’. Some of you said that. So, we said: Okay, don’t do Self-inquiry. Just let go of your thoughts. It is the simplest thing.
Then some of you said ‘I cannot let go of all of my thoughts’. Then we said: Okay, don’t let go of all of your thoughts, just let go of the next one. Don’t even think about the future. Just let go of the next one that is coming now. We cannot make it simpler than that.
Then some of you said ‘I cannot become aware of my own true nature as Awareness itself’. Then we said: Are you aware now? In answering this simple question ‘Are you aware now?’ you’ll become aware of your true nature as Awareness itself.
In the same way, some of you said ‘I cannot become aware of my Being. I am not aware of the sense ‘I Am’. Then we said: Can you stop being now? And naturally it is seen that Being cannot be stopped.
So, just in this simplicity of being able to say ‘Let go of your next thought’, of being able to ask ‘Are you aware now?’ and then to ask ‘Can you stop being now?’…, just in this much, all the scriptures, all the understanding, everything that we speak of is condensed in these three simple points.
Can we make it simpler than this? Is there any part of this which is difficult to comprehend? Is there any room for the mind now, for you to say that realization is difficult, or it’s not for me, or it does not seem real, or that it does not exist now? We have left no room for it now. If freedom is truly what you want, then in great simplicity, it is available already, here.
No need to renounce everything
“It’s not okay to leave everything.”
There is nothing here that said you must renounce everything. We did not say that. I have a job, I have a family, I have responsibilities, but all is allowed to unfold on its own. So, we do not say renounce the world, we only say renounce the mind. I don’t even want to say it in such a scary way. All that is said is: Let go of your next thought. That is all that is required for freedom.
All you must do, in every moment, is just let go of your next thought.
Leave the thought that ‘I must give up my family, or leave everything or something special must be done’. Because if it is something that needs to be done, it would mean that it is something that needs to be created. It would mean that some effort is required to create the Self. But the Self is
already ever-present. It is already here, isn’t it? You already call it the Self! The meaning of the ‘Self’ means it’s ever-present. It’s already here. It is my own Self.
If it required a creation or some effort, even renunciation of something, then it would not be the Self. If it required work to be done, then it would mean that it requires work to maintain it also. In this way we can see that this is the ego which requires work to be done and effort to maintain it. Therefore belief in our thoughts is required to maintain the ego. As we keep believing our thoughts, we keep nourishing our ego. But if you were to stop this nourishment, if you were to stop this effort of believing our thoughts, then you will find that the ego fades away very quickly. Therefore the effort is not to find the Self, the effort is that we actually believe that we are something else.
That is why I’m saying we made the crux of spirituality completely simple and approachable for all of you. I feel there is really no reason left for the mind. There is no excuse left for the mind now; no difficult practice, no anything required to be done. Everything is available right here right now.
Rid yourself of delusion
There does not need to be planning. God’s plan is the best plan. God knows how to play every role perfectly. Every role can be played: parent, employee, worker, business man. There is no role which cannot be played. In fact the role is already being played by God itself. There is no you, right now even, which is saying that ‘I do the planning’. This ‘you’ just does not exist. So the state of surrender that we speak about is only the understanding that we are ever-surrendered. The individual identity or the ego never existed anyway.
The goal of letting go of thoughts is not just to create serenity. It is to rid yourself of delusion. The delusion is what? That I am a separate person. Most of you have seen now that this person just does not exist. It was a pure figment of imagination. The boss is God, you are God, all the work place is God. Everything is only the Supreme One. It is only God pretending to play the role or the game of person, personally. Let the One who is doing, do everything anyway. All that you are is Being itself. Just be the witness of all of this play.
The mind will say ‘But does that mean I will become passive?’ No. Being a witness does not mean that you will become active or passive. It only means that you are the witnessing of all of this play. The activity or the passivity is exactly what is meant to unfold. Don’t try to predict what will happen through this body/mind. Because that is asking for guarantees before the surrender. It is like saying that ‘I am completely surrendered, but make sure you take care of the person’. That is not surrender.
Sadness and depression
“As there is increasing clarity, there is also a sense of depression.”
It does seem like that sometimes, because there comes for some Beings a sense of sadness. It’s like a sadness of letting go of an old friend. This is just some emotional residue because we feel
like it is the death of something which was always with us. As we keep letting go of the person idea, for some Beings there emerges some sadness. As long as you’re not interpreting or believing the interpretation of this sadness, then this sadness can be allowed to come and go.
I don’t want to glamorize this by saying that this is your time of final struggle. I don’t want to say that this is your forty days and forty nights in the wilderness. I don’t want to say any of that, because ultimately you are completely untouched by this. Just know that it is not uncommon for this kind of sadness to emerge, but you stand your ground. You keep letting go of the interpretation. And you will see that even this, one day when you wake up, will not be there. It is not your depression. It is not your depression. The feelings are arising in some way, the depression is arising in some way. Let it also dance the way it wants to dance, and let it go. Just like any other spiritual experience, any other experience which is coming in front of you, don’t give more reality to the sense of depression. Just know that it is another feeling; that the witnessing of this feeling is untouched by the feeling itself.
Awareness is more natural and effortless than even breathing. It’s the most natural thing that requires no effort at all. The most natural thing.
You will have this insight that nothing has ever existed anyway. None of this ever really happened. Because you are completely untouched by this play of appearance, you will start questioning the very appearance of the emergence of the appearance at all. You will see that it never happened. But this cannot be explained to the mind. In fact, very few words are available which can speak of this insight. Intuitively you will know that this is true. All this maya, all this leela has never existed. That is why it is maya and that is why it is leela. A delusion is never real. That is why it is delusion. What is aware right now? What is aware in this very moment?
Rest in these simple pointings
We have made it completely simple for all of you to come to the complete point of rest. Just in three simple pointings; the simplest of pointings.
We have only said: Let go of your next thought. Just let go of your next thought.
Then you say that ‘I want the darshan of my true Self’. Here it is. Right now! By asking this simple question: ‘Are you aware now?’ This is the darshan of the true Self. In this very instant, it is available.
Then you say, ‘But I want to see God. I want to find God. I can’t find God, I can’t find Consciousness, I don’t know what ‘I Am’ is’. Then we say: Can you stop being now? This Being that you cannot stop is God, is Consciousness, is ‘I Am’.
Just because it is so easily accessible, don’t let the mind tell you that this is of no value. This is the crux of all spirituality. All spiritual paths, every sadhana, every practice that you can do will only get you to this point of realizing your own true Self.
These steps, even a child can take. But you have to become child-like. If you are trying to take them from the intellect, if you are trying to take them from the mind, it will not happen. So you have to become like a child when you listen to my words, and just something will click on its own. Don’t even try to do something about it. Just be open to the Presence of these words and soon there will be this great clarity; and your own Self will be so clear to you that you will laugh about how you ever questioned it; how you ever got confused with the delusion. But, if you are still working towards it, then I can tell you to drop it.
The freedom that you want is here. It is the most simple thing! So in these three simple steps we have got rid of your suffering, we have shown you your own true Self, and we also got the darshan of God. What else can we possibly want?
I feel to tell all of you now, you must sing with joy! Sing with joy because your freedom is here. This does not mean that it has to be an external joyous expression. But celebrate the fact that the truth is completely clear. What else is there now left to do? You have seen now that you play as God Himself in this apparent universe. We play as God Himself in this apparent universe. Ultimately even this appearance, you are not.
After knowing this for your own true nature, what else must there be now left to find? Drop these old clothes of the seeker. Drop these old clothes of a spiritual person. In this moment, you have found your truth. It has always been this. It is unshakeable. What else is left to do now? Drop even this Guru, teacher/student mindset and come and hug me as One. Not even a smidgen of separation now. I feel that, in these three simple pointings, all that must be said is said. Not that there’s an aversion to use any other words, but there is a wonder now as to what else is required.
One: Let go of your next thought.
Two: To experience God in this very moment by asking: Can you stop being now? is tasting the presence of Being right here. [Snaps fingers].
Three: To experience your own true Self, which is prior to Consciousness, is in the simple looking that: Are you aware now?
I feel so blessed that the Satguru has put these words in this mouth, because I truly feel that just in these simple pointings freedom is available to all Beings. In all Beings where there is some openness, freedom is available this very instant.
May the Master’s grace continue to guide you to the ever-present Self.
What Sees Even This?
If there is a feeling of bondage there must be a belief in bondage. Bondage requires belief. Freedom means letting go of all belief; freedom as a clear seeing that bondage is just not possible. So if any of you feel that the answer is not ‘yes’ yet, then we can look at the belief which seems to cause this bondage. In what way are you bound? I know for some of you the answer will not be completely clear the instant the question is asked, but I still feel it is a good inquiry for you to introspect and see: In what way am I really bound?
The only way we seem to get bound is by our thoughts, which once believed in become our beliefs. But even with all the thoughts; if they were to be believed, what really gets bound? Can we find that one? Who is the bound one?
There is an awareness of anything which is changing. Is this Awareness changing? The awareness of the change, is this Awareness changing? Only the content which is appearing, only that is changing. So are you identified with the changeful or the changeless?
That is the question. What are you identifying with? Are you identifying with what is changing, which is appearing in front of you? Or are you identifying with the Awareness of it, with the watching of it, the pure Seeing of it?
If you were to just check in for an instant, you will see that ‘I cannot be this content which seems to be playing in front. I must be the ever-present watching of it’. But if we want something in the content to become free, if we believe that something in the appearance should change, then you are setting yourself up for failure because nothing in the content is constant. The constant is only You, the watching of all the content.
Quickly we can see if this is true or not. All the thoughts are constantly changing, all the emotions are constantly changing, the world around us is constantly changing but is the Awareness changing? Is the Witnessing changing? If it seems simpler we can start by asking: Is the witness changing?
Any effort is too much actually. When we are saying ‘just look’, it means drop all trying for a moment and just see what is here. Seeing is not an effort because you cannot turn it off. Effort means to do something which is not in the natural state. But in the natural state there is only Seeing, the pure Awareness, and Being, the pure Consciousness. This Seeing and this Being does not require any effort. All effort is actually too much. No effort is required to see or to be.
“I still identify myself with the content and trying to change it.”
Yes. That can be the only trouble actually. So what you are saying is that the only trouble is this; and this is the only trouble possible actually.
“When certain content and reactions come up, it is felt or thought as bondage.”
It is not bondage. Because certain content and emotions and any type of content can always come. Consciousness is completely free to create any content in any moment. But how does the content bind you? How does the content ever bind you?
“Feeling sad that the identity of being a person who wants to please everyone is still here.”
Okay, so if ‘the identity of being a person who wants to please everyone’ is still here, does that still bind you? What it appears to be is that there is an appearance of this body-mind organism who is conditioned to please everyone. How does this appearance bind you? How does it even touch you? Again, we are wanting to change the content. It is like going to the movie and saying ‘I want to change the script’. Can the watching, can the watcher ever change the script of the movie? What is here effortlessly? Can we see what is here effortlessly?
“Guess it is a belief or identity still with the one not wanting the contents.”
So, you’re identifying with someone who wants to control what comes up for you. But there is no one who can control what comes up for you. Consciousness is doing all of this according to its will, and Awareness is completely untouched by all of this content.
So, if we can find the one who would like things to be a certain way, and not be another way, then we can give it a sense of reality. But before finding this one, we can only say that all this seems to be just playing out. But I-as-Awareness am untouched by any of this.
So, in this moment, right now, if you were to not put any effort, (because effort, the way we say the word, it seems like a choice that you can make), then what is here without any effort at all? When all effort is dropped, what remains? See for yourself. What remains when all effort is dropped?
“Only the Seeing remains, and peace.”
“Just Being remains, and the clear Seeing of this “Peace remains.”
“Only Being and Seeing.”
“Just here. Just this. Can’t describe.” “No name.”
“Peace and silence remains.”
Who is aware of this peace? If there was noise, then there would be an awareness of that noise? If there is peace, there is an awareness that there is no noise. But is the Awareness touched by noise or no noise?
So we cannot truly name what remains. All names are inadequate. But we can point in the general direction. Those who know what you’re speaking about will be able to point out that you’re pointing in the right direction.
“Peace, and many thoughts, and a dropping of attention to them. Bit of an effort, though?’
No effort to drop your heavy load
It seems only that it is an effort. Think of it like a conveyor belt, and you’re used to picking every bag off the conveyor belt. The conveyor belt of the mind is moving, and on that, every bag is a thought. We seem to have been in a rush to take out every bag. Because we believed that the bags were ours, so we took out every bag from this conveyor belt.
Then someone says that ‘All these bags are not yours. Let them just come and go’. Initially it might seem like an effort to stop picking up the bags, because we are so strongly habituated to running after every bag and picking it up. It might seem like it is an effort to stop, but actually you must see and tell me: what is an effort? Is it an effort, or a dropping of effort?
The analogy is very close to what is really happening, that in the conveyor belt of the mind all these bags are coming, and we are saying ‘Don’t pick them up. They are being taken care of’. So because of our habit, it seems like an effort to not pick them up; but you will see the effort. It will become very difficult to pick up after you see that it is effort to pick up. You will feel that it is effort to pick up.
“There is no observer of this emptiness.”
There is no ‘observer’ but there is an observing that there is emptiness, otherwise you would not be able to report that there is emptiness. Awareness, being aware of itself, is the only non- phenomenal experience. You know that you are aware now. Can anyone else know that you are aware now? No. But you know that you are aware now. What is this that knows even awareness? Is it not Awareness itself?
“Even when identification with person happens, there is no problem at all.”
Yes. This is so true. So even if identification happens, it is not that something really changes. The real is constant. It does not change. Awareness is untouched.
All of you are speaking such beautiful words that they are scripture itself. That’s why we say that scripture will be spoken as if it’s just general common sense actually. You will find that there is nothing special about the words in any scripture because it will seem like all common sense. They will read like beautiful words, but you will see that they are all verifiable in this very moment. No effort is required.
“I’m still attached to energies.”
It’s very good that you expose this, because it is getting subtler and subtler now, isn’t it? We were talking about attachment, seemingly external attachment; now we can see that there is internal attachment also. It could be that there are positive energies or some energies which still take our attachment. But this attachment is also a very unstable state. Then what happens is, when you’re feeling some positive or nice energies, we’ll want to put up a wall of defense; that this must not change. The minute we say ‘This must not change’ in that minute we start inviting
all sort of attacks to this concept. Because everything that appears will change. All phenomenon is changeful, and that is how suffering can come, even with this attachment to subtle energies.
So enjoy everything of the show. I’m not saying run away from any energy. I’m saying just experience everything as part of the show, but don’t attach, or don’t have an aversion. See that you are untouched by all of this, including the energies.
Is there anyone who has been in satsang for a few days, but still feels like it is too abstract or too difficult? I would like to hear from you so I can meet you where you are, and then we can move forward together.
“Seems I am getting some and missing some.”
So, we can ask a question: What knows that something is being understood and something is not yet completely understood? What sees even this? It must be you because you are able to report from there. You are able to say that ‘I am understanding something, and I’m not understanding something else’. So you know this because there is an awareness of this. Let’s see if this much is clear? You know this because there is an awareness of this.
So, this awareness which is there, which knows all of this, which is the witness of all of this appearance; are you separate from this awareness in any way? What is the distance between you and this awareness?
“Feeling light, and don’t know why, feel like laughing!”
Yes. If the ‘person’ is being let go of, when the imagined one here on our back is thrown away, then there is so much relief and laughter that can come.
“It seemed even impossible, but is so easy by now.”
I see that it is very easy, it is very accessible, it is very approachable. Initially it can seem a little abstract, it can seem a little difficult, but these concepts are difficult only for the mind. It seems difficult only because it is completely simple, and the mind does not do very well with extremely simple things. It likes things which are complicated. If you give the mind a complicated set of practices to do, it will be very happy because then it will have a 10 year plan. It wants to distract you and keep you away from the now. The truth is now only. The mind is always speaking about the future or the past, but the truth is now only.
So, don’t listen to the voice which is saying ‘It should be clear by now’. It is the simplest, simplest thing. Just let go of your thoughts. Let go of your next thought. I won’t even say ‘Let go of all thoughts’. If any moment you find that you are suffering, just let go of your next thought; next thought, next thought, next thought. Just let go.
It is completely possible. And you will see that life is unfolding on its own. You were never doing anything at all.
Truth is Not a Concept
It must be said that the Truth is that there is no Truth. That must be said like that. Because any concept that we are believing is at best only a pointer towards Reality. Reality cannot be captured in any words. Even the most honest-seeming person, if he’s coming from a place of personhood then the base reliance is on the concept of ‘I am an honest person’ but the personhood is still there. Hence, when we say ‘Why do good people suffer? Why do bad things happen to ‘good people?’ then it is because, unless there is suffering, we will not get over this reliance on this lie that ‘I am a person’. We’re relying so much on this identification with the person. And it could be an honest person, it could be a good person, but without this suffering there will not be the open-mindedness to come to the Truth of what we really are; and we’ll stay stuck in this play of maya, of the unreal.
Therefore we see that sometimes it feels like a lot of suffering comes to those who are such good people; but ‘people’ still. ‘People’ is the problem. ‘Person’ equals trouble. As long as ‘person’ identity is there, trouble is bound to happen. It is very good that this happens, because that is the room for the inquiry. It is very rare for the inquiry to happen without a slap from life. Without the suffering that life gives us it is very, very rare. In fact, all of us can look back into our lives and see that there must have been some suffering that brought us to this; that created the open- mindedness to bring us to satsang. This must be true for most of us. So, if it seems like it is the truth but still comes from a personal perspective, that is not the end of suffering. It is only true from a personal perspective. It’s too much reliance on concepts, and anything that needs reliance on concepts is ultimately untrue.
There is no room here for the mind to rely on any concept. At best all these concepts also are pointers which are pointing you to your True Nature. Anything that we can say is not true actually. Even the best-sounding quotes are only pointers. What stays here when we drop all reliance on all concepts? What remains when all concepts are dropped; about our own imagined- self or the person, or about any appearance in front of us? When all reliance on concepts is dropped, then what stays?
So, you’ve been given a very simple way to get you to the end of suffering. But just because it might seem so simple, don’t allow your mind to tell you that it is trivial. The way to come to the end of all suffering is only to let go of your next thought. That is all that is required. We’re not even saying forever. We’re not even saying let go of all thoughts. Because time is also a concept. All we’re saying is let go of your next thought and then show me where suffering is. Don’t believe the monkey in your head and then show me where the suffering is. But if you give these words also to the mind and say ‘Okay mind, now, what do you say about this?’ then suffering will perpetuate. Just let go completely of your next thought. In this simplicity, all suffering can go now. Without this interpreter, called the mind, no suffering can stay.
Of course pain can come. Pain is completely allowed. If there’s pain, any sort of pain, as long as we’re not judging it, we’re not interpreting it, it is allowed to come and it is allowed to get released. Unless you make something out of it with the mind, it is not called suffering. There is no interpretation of pain as suffering. But if you resist pain then that is what becomes suffering. Without believing a thought now, can you tell me where the suffering is?
“The greatest suffering I have seen is the belief that I am separate from God / Truth.”
At the root of all suffering is this belief that ‘I am a person’. The instant we say that ‘I am a separate person’ is the instant we’ve created a belief in the separation. If there is separation, separation means suffering; because ultimately it is a lie. Clearly it is a lie. Because we’re never able to say that ‘the person is here’. Where does this person live? What does it look like?
If there is even a little openness and there is a true desire to be free from this suffering forever, may these words be heard from the Heart. May these words that have been spoken from the Heart be heard from the Heart, and the next thought be dropped every moment. May there never be belief in the next thought. Then show me where suffering can be. Where can suffering lurk now?
“Pain, pleasure, and all sorts arise, but they are not ‘mine’. As long as I know they are not mine, they cannot touch me.”
What makes us believe that they could be mine? It is only belief in the thought that they are mine. Thought arises and we say ‘This is my thought’. An action happens through this body and we say ‘This is my action’. Appearances arrive around us and we say ‘This is my life’. But this ‘my’ we can never find. ‘My thought, my action, my life’. This ‘my’ we can never find.
“Am interested in politics and infuse good things out there. How to go about it, and bring in spiritually strong forces together?”
You want to do something great for the world, do something good for the world. I have a suggestion. What the world ultimately wants, what each Being ultimately wants, is to be free from suffering, isn’t it? That is ultimately what everyone is looking for, irrespective of their situation. Irrespective of any appearances in their lives, what they’re basically striving for is the happiness, the peace and joy, which means the freedom from suffering. So what can you do for the world? You can be the best role model for the world by freeing yourself from your suffering. In that way the entire world will be blessed by your own Presence. You will find that all actions are auspicious and they flow through you, which brings so much beauty and joy to the world.
But if you make it a personal mission, then you will find that in the doership of it will come a lot of frustration, will come a lot of anger, will come a lot of resentment against the world that you’re trying to help itself. Because in this realm of duality there will always be the dual opposites of good and bad, right and wrong, lies and truths. And all depends on the perspective or the belief system of the Being.
So first you free yourself from your suffering. Come to the realization of your true nature. Then you will find that auspiciousness itself will flow through you. That would be my suggestion. And this does not mean, by the way, that some actions which are happening, and the force of good in this world, that that should stop. Just don’t say that ‘I’ am doing it. This ‘I’ does not exist. Know that it is only an instrument of God which is being used in this way. Don’t cultivate the ‘helper ego’. It is another form of the ‘spiritual ego’ itself.
Overcome your disbelief that it can be this simple
All that is required for you is to overcome your disbelief that it can be this simple. It’s like, in the story from the bible, someone said to Jesus: ‘Father, I believe. Help me overcome my disbelief’. Which is very beautiful. If that is your true prayer, you will find that your disbelief will dissolve in double quick time. You will see that ‘I am at the end of my suffering now’. That is what we said, isn’t it? That in three simple phrases, in three simple instructions, all that a seeker could seek is available here now. We made it extremely simple for all of you.
So the first question a seeker would ask typically is: How do I rid myself of my suffering? And the simplest way to do it is just let go of your next thought. No practice, nothing, no understanding, no intellectual concepts, nothing at all; only let go of your next thought can end the journey which seems to last lifetimes. So this is the first question that a seeker would ask: How do I rid myself of my suffering?
Then you would say: Show me God, can you show me God? And I would say: Can you stop being now? If you say ‘I cannot stop being now’ then this Being that you cannot stop is God. The ever-present Being. Consciousness, the sense ‘I Am’. This is God, the ever-present Being.
Then still some of you might ask: How do I experience my true Self? Then the simple question is: Are you aware now? And this Awareness itself is your own true Self.
So, if there is openness, you will see that in these three simple pointers is the end of even the seeker identity. And freedom itself is here.
The real Witnessing, the pure Seeing, the pure Awareness itself is actually untouched even if you believe every thought. It’s only that the person will end up in satsang crying that they are suffering a lot. The person can still never become the real. The real can never become a person.
“Thank you for helping me to see how simple, natural and effortless Awareness and Being are.”
It is very nice for me to be able to see you report like this. It is completely true, no? When all effort is dropped, then effortlessly the Presence of Being is here, God is here; and then your true Self as pure Awareness is aware even of this Being.
If any of you have some trouble with the definition of God, you can choose to call God anything; it could be the Being itself or if you choose to call God ‘the pure Awareness which is aware of Being itself’ that is also okay. We are not worried so much about definitions.
“There is an urge to discover my universal mission here. Please point me to it.”
Your universal mission is to figure out that you are the originator of the universe itself. That the universe itself is born inside you. Once you realize that this is your true nature, then all things which flow through this body-mind will be so beautiful. The universe will be blessed by this. But
as long as we make it a personal mission, (and we said this earlier), if we make it a personal ambition then we are just perpetuating the ego in another way.
The world wants to be free from suffering. The universe wants to be free from suffering. So the best thing you can do for the universe is to come to the realization of your true nature and become free from suffering. The whole world will be helped by this.
Again, I am saying that this is not contradictory to any actions you might want to take to help the world; all of that can flow. But if you want a true mission, then make that mission to come to your true realization, which is available right now.
“There are glimpses, but as soon as I try to say ‘got it’ it is lost.”
Therefore you must drop this inclination to proclaim anything. No need for any proclamation of whether there is some ‘getting it’ or not. Even that is just a thought. There is nothing to ‘get’ actually. This is the dropping of all effort. Just as with any other thought, you would let go of this thought also.
You are already the Self. We are not making you into the Self. Self-realization is only the understanding that ‘I have always been this pure Awareness’. It is not that we are going to make you pure Awareness from something else. That is impossible. You have never actually become the person, you have only been Awareness. Right now, can any of you become the person and show me? Just become the set of ideas and show me how you can become a person. You can only imagine or pretend. That is why it is said that the truth will prevail, because the truth is always true. You can never become the false one.
The End of Suffering Itself
Let’s keep everything very simple, because simplicity leads to clarity. The simplest thing to understand is the cause for suffering. The misconception is that life is making us suffer. The misconception is that life is making ‘me’ suffer. Where in reality, the only thing that is causing suffering is our thoughts. Life is not making you suffer; life cannot make you suffer. Without belief in thought it is not possible for suffering to arise. So is there complete clarity on this first.
In this understanding of this very, very simple fact, freedom is not far behind. If it can be clearly seen that it is not life which is causing suffering but it is my own belief in thoughts which is the only thing that can cause suffering, then that is already a giant leap towards your own Self; which is already here. But it plays out like this, that it is a giant leap towards your own Self which is already here. You will see that many Beings, still after a long time in satsang, also will continue to feel that ‘It is my life which is causing the suffering’.
So I want to look at it very simply today and tell you that it is not true. Life does not have the capacity to cause any suffering. It is belief in the interpreter’s voice, belief in the translator’s voice, which is the cause of suffering; the only cause of suffering. No matter what the events of life are, it is only this belief which is causing the suffering.
Since this is clear, let’s go forward now. We have seen that whatever might happen in ‘the appearance’ does not have the potential to cause suffering. Then we say that ‘thoughts are the only thing which can cause suffering’. But let’s look at this also. So a thought arises, and when it arises it’s just another appearance; just like an external appearance actually. When a thought comes, our attention might go to it. But even when attention is going to it, does it have the potential to create suffering? Or has it already done its job of creating suffering? Just by giving attention?
A thought could be coming now. Just in your giving it attention, even with that, does it create suffering? Is attention enough for suffering to come? Or is there something else also required? Just look for the next thought that is coming, and even if your complete attention is going to the thought, find out: Just with the attention, can it create suffering?
So what have we seen now is that life cannot cause suffering, the mere appearance of a thought cannot cause suffering, because a thought can just come and go, and suffering is still not here. Then we have seen also that ‘Even if all my attention is given to the thought, it still does not cause me suffering’.
“Belief must be there.” Yes. “Attention is not enough for suffering.” “No, there must be identification.” “No, it needs belief to suffer.”
“No suffering with just attention.”
“Here it seems that some belief is involved.”
“Attachment and belief causes suffering. But many times this belief happens without our noticing it.”
Yes, it seems that way, yes.
“It seems attention goes to thoughts charged with identity.”
Yes that is also true, we will look at that.
“Nothing can cause suffering, only giving attention to random thoughts and believing them.”
Yes. So you have said even if attention is going there, just because of attention alone, it cannot make us suffer.
“There must be interest in thought to suffer.”
Exactly, very good.
“Identification that this is my thought can appear to cause suffering.”
Yes. It can ‘appear’ to cause suffering. Very good.
So what have we discovered now? We have discovered that the event of the life can be anything. The situation, the appearance of life can be anything but suffering cannot be caused because of it. This includes everything, including the state of the body; but suffering cannot appear because of it.
We say ‘The thoughts make us suffer’. Then we are questioning even this presumption. So a thought appears and it goes; it definitely does not make us suffer. Then we say ‘Okay, attention to our thoughts makes us suffer’ and we are questioning this presumption also. We say ‘Okay, a thought comes and then attention is given to it’. Even if complete attention is given to the thought that comes, can it make us suffer? Then you said ‘No, it must be some identification, some belief’. So it is the belief in this thought; that ‘it applies to me’. The thought is referring to you as a person entity, as an ego, as a separate entity; a thought is referring to you as this imaginary person. Once we believe ‘This thought applies to me’ and that ‘The thought is valid for me’ (therefore we give it our personal identification, we give it our belief), that is when the seeming-suffering starts to arise. That is why I liked this phrase: ‘Identification with the thought can ‘appear’ to cause suffering’.
So we are just talking about the ‘appearance’ of suffering. Suffering also is just another appearance; when it is believed that ‘This is happening to me’ or ‘Why did this happen to me? Why is this person doing this to me?’ or ‘I should not have done that’ or ‘I should be doing this’. This is usually the content of thought, isn’t it? It is always referring to you as this small imagined-person entity. With this belief then we seem to be caught in this web of suffering. Is it completely clear to you that this can be the only cause? I want it to be clear to you. So, with this one swoop, we chop the head off suffering.
Belief is a habit
He had said that ‘The belief seems to happen automatically, it seems to happen on its own’. It could seem that way because it is a habit. We are so habituated to believing every thought that is coming that now, when there is some distance from it, we see that it seems to happen very fast sometimes. But already in the saying of it, there is already a sense of distance from it. Because earlier it used to be automatically believed. A thought would come and you would say ‘It is my thought’. Then another thought would come and you would say ‘It is my thought’. Now you say ‘At times, it seems automatic’. Even these times will reduce.
Most of the time this identification will not happen. But there will always be rare points; there will be some situations in which thoughts still seem to get picked up. What to do when they get picked up? It’s simple. At that point we drop our belief in them. It is that simple. In that moment all that is required is to withdraw our belief from it. You can experiment with this and you will see that it is completely possible. Don’t believe the thought which is saying ‘But that is difficult’ or ‘That cannot happen’. All these are just thoughts anyway.
Someone else had said that ‘Attention seems to go more to those thoughts which have been nourished with a lot of belief’. Yes, that is true. When you start withdrawing your belief you will find that when the same old noise is coming, your attention might also not be following it. So start with withdrawing your belief, and as you keep withdrawing your belief, you will find that attention also is very easily being withdrawn from it.
Why I say ‘Start with belief’ is because if you make it a fight initially, to withdraw your attention completely, then it becomes a little bit confusing at times. It’s like we often say ‘Don’t give any attention to any thoughts about a pink elephant’ and immediately attention goes to thoughts of a pink elephant. But when we say ‘Don’t believe you are a pink elephant’ or ‘Don’t believe that this thought of a pink elephant is for you’ that seems simpler to do initially. So the simplest way to come to the end of suffering is to stop belief in our thoughts.
So, we have seen that we have identified the true cause of suffering. We have taken away all the confusion about what is the cause of suffering. We have zeroed in on the true cause of suffering. Then we have said: What is the way to transcend this?
In this simplicity you have found what the Buddha was looking for. You have found what the great Masters were looking for. You have found what every Sage started his quest for, to come to the end of suffering. Just because we say it very simply doesn’t mean that it is a trivial finding. It is the end of suffering itself.
All these thoughts can be thrown away
“There are thoughts talking about a ‘me’ that doesn’t exist, and more thoughts talking about how the content of the thought affects this non-existent thing.”
All thoughts can be thrown away. If a thing does not exist, then where is the question of cause and effect? What truly exists cannot be touched by any content of thought. So let all thoughts say whatever they want. They will only keep trying to push whatever buttons still seem to exist. And once you see that all belief is withdrawn from all of these buttons, and you have taken the remote control back, then no thought will have the ability to make you suffer. Or very few thoughts will have the ability to make you suffer, and that too only for a few moments.
I don’t want to create an unrealistic expectation in any mind that the state of freedom means all thoughts will stop or no thought at all should ever be able to push a button. These are unrealistic expectations coming from the ego itself. That’s why I say that most thoughts will be thrown away, and the few rare ones, belief in them will last only momentarily.
Nobody is going to come and measure how much freedom really exists for you. So don’t worry about passing this exam. I see it in many seekers, that they feel that enlightenment or freedom is some sort of a test or an exam of some sort and they are constantly going hard on themselves; which is again more thoughts, you know, believing more thoughts. This is not about getting somewhere, it is not about getting to a state. It is only to see what is naturally present, already here, in the simplest sort of way.
The longing for God or your true nature
“This longing can be understood as a suffering here because it is a thought of separation.”
So, the longing is for God or for your own true nature; this longing has brought you to this point. The longing has done its job. It has got you in satsang. Now the longing itself will dissolve, because you will see that the Beloved, the one that the true longing was for, is already here. The Being dwells in your own heart; the ever-present Consciousness, the ever-present Atma, God himself. Only God is present actually; in the form of this Presence.
We are searching for God but the truth is: only God is present. Isn’t that a joke? This reminded me of sri Kabir ji’s couplet. He had written a poem which roughly translated means that ‘The fish seems to be thirsty in the water. Seeing this I can only laugh’.
We are running for God, we want God, but God is the only Being that is present. Your Being itself is God. It is like a fish in the ocean longing for water. It can be a beautiful longing, there is no denying that, but now it has brought you to satsang where, if you have some trust, you will see that there is Beingness here. The Being that you cannot stop. This Being is the object of your longing; it is what you have always wanted and it has always been here.
What is the distance between you and your own Being? How far are you from this Beingness itself?
This longing itself can now be thrown into the fire of satsang. This longing can be replaced with a beautiful celebration of realizing that ‘I have always been This!’
The one that cannot be lost is the only One that is ever-present; the Being itself, God itself. Your own Being is the light through which this entire universe is created. That is why my Master refers to a beautiful saying, I am not sure whether it was Meister Eckhart or someone who said: ‘When we search for God we find the Self, and when we search for the Self we find God’. It is actually the same thing. When we go seemingly outwards looking for God, it will point us back inwards to our own Being, to our own Self. When we go seemingly inwards to find God or the Self, we will find that all that exists is your own manifestation. All is God itself.
“Longing so much for true recognition of Self. Right now it still feels mental. Surrendering the longing, the frustration, the hope; all of it into the fire.”
Very good. Now that you have thrown all of this into the fire, what remains right now? Very simply, without any knowledge, without any mind intellect, what simply remains right here, right now? In this moment, what remains once all this is thrown away or kept aside?
Our own Being is the true Immaculate Conception. This is the root phenomenal birth, the sense of Beingness which comes out of non-phenomena. Everything else comes out of this sense of Being. When Being is here, then the world appears. The Being comes out of this non- phenomenal Awareness itself. That’s why Being itself is the true Immaculate Conception.
Self-discovery is the simplest thing
Have we demolished all misconceptions about suffering? Is it completely seen, at least seen as to what happens? Because once we get this space, this freedom from suffering, then we will see that self-discovery is the simplest thing. How difficult can it be to find that which is ever-present? If our mind is not distracted by the story of our life, the suffering, then self-discovery is the simplest thing. Because to find that it is ever-present, to find that which is ever-present, is the simplest thing.
We said: If we were to keep everything aside, everything aside, can we keep the Being aside? Can we stop being for a while? If I were to say ‘For the next five minutes, just don’t be’ would you be able to do that? For the next two minutes just stop being. For the next one minute, just stop being. For the next few seconds, can we stop being?
You will say ‘No, I cannot stop’. This Being is ever-present. In the waking state, there is always the Being. This Being itself is Consciousness, Atma, God; whatever label you want to use is fine with me. This is what you have been looking for. It is actually this simple. When we have kept the nonsense of the mind away, to discover the truth is this simple. And is completely true.
There is an Awareness of even this Being
So now you have tasted God itself. You have tasted your own Being. You have tasted Atma. Are you happy to walk one final step with me now? It is not even a walking actually. It’s a very simple pointing, that there is an Awareness even of this Being. There is an Awareness even of this Being also, which you cannot stop. This Awareness is prior to even Consciousness; prior to Beingness. This pure untouched Awareness is your own true Self.
That is why we use a very simple question; because the mind must be already starting to play some tricks, saying ‘Oh, this part is not clear’ or ‘This is not found’. That’s why even for this, we have a very simple question. The question is: Are you aware now? If you naturally say ‘Yes, I am aware now’ then this is the awareness of Awareness itself. ‘Yes, I am aware now’. It is the simplest question, even a child will say ‘Yes’. In that answer ‘Yes’ you have seen that there is an awareness of Awareness itself.
This is the end of all spirituality. This is the culmination of all that can ever be said. We have come to the end of suffering, to the finding of God in our own heart, and to the real seeing of our own true nature, as Awareness itself. What else can we look for? What else are we seeking? What can change your Being? The Being which you cannot stop even for an instant, what can touch this, what can make it smaller or bigger? What can reduce its light or increase its light? No phenomena can touch this phenomena of all phenomena; your own Being.
This sober Seeing
“The mind is waiting for some huge flood of happiness and joy, to say I have reached.”
It is a very common complaint saying ‘Where are the fireworks?’ Basically what you are saying is ‘Where are the fireworks? I heard that the gods themselves, the devas from the heaven, will bow down to you when we have discovered our true nature. But I see nothing. It is just so plain and simple’. I say that it is this sober seeing that is very beautiful actually. Because any state, any experience, then becomes an expectation from your mind to say ‘This should last’ or ‘This should stay’. Then that becomes another trap, it becomes a spiritual trap.
I am pointing you to what cannot go. Being cannot go. Awareness is ever-present. This is the only stability here. All else which comes, no matter how sublime, how beautiful; if it comes then it must go. All that comes must go. Even Being itself which comes with the arising of the waking state goes with the arising of the sleep state.
The Being just never goes, it is ever-present. All else that is coming and going, will just come and go. That is its nature. So if a huge flood of happiness or joy would come, then when it would leave you, you would say ‘I want that again’. Then that is still desire. That is still coming from the personal idea. That is still coming from the idea that you are a personal experiencer. But there is no personal doer or experiencer. All is a play of Consciousness itself.
So don’t fall for the trap of trying to get to a state. You are not a slave to some state. All of us have wasted many years trying to get to some states. Whatever states come, they don’t last. Therefore freedom is not a state; enlightenment or liberation is not a state. It is freedom from all states. All states arise within You.
Thank you all so very much.
So much love to all of you.
Moojiji ki Jai! [Namaste]