THIS SIMPLE SEEING

Book Description

Based on a series of talks from Satsang with Ananta, April through September 2017.” What witnesses everything and Itself remains unchanging? This one sentence is more than enough, actually.” “Satsang is nothing but these two aspects, which are completely inter-linked: What is it that I truly Am? and the dissolution of the belief in this idea of limitation.”

Satsang with Ananta

High above the noise and pollution of Bangalore traffic on Old Airport Road, Beings from all corners of the world gather on the top floor of a multi story building. Flowers are placed where Anantaji’s feet will be and on the altar with photos of His Master, Sri Moojiji. Incense is lit, water is poured, and the Sangha sit quietly waiting for Anantaji, or Father as most of the Sangha lovingly call Him, to enter the room. When Anantaji joins the room, the Sangha stand in reverence and respect until their Father is seated. Ananta opens His mac laptop, connects to google hangout where there are many more Sangha all around the world waiting to join in live. And Satsang begins with “Namaste everyone, a very warm welcome to satsang today, Satguru Moojiji ki Jai.”

About Ananta

Ananta gives Satsang with the blessings of his Master, Sri Mooji. He lives in Bangalore, India with his wife, son and daughter. He offers Satsang in Bangalore and online. See website and/or Facebook for the many YouTube videos of online Satsangs, the other Ananta books, Satsang transcripts, audio recordings and general information. The Satsang schedule is usually pinned to the top of the Facebook pages.

Satsang with Ananta YouTube channel is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmc83jyrwpCNBT2xywXVoLg/feed

Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/satsangwithananta

Sangha Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sanghabeing/

Website: www.anantasatsang.org

This is the 10 th book (not including the paperback/kindle book available on Amazon) of Ananta Satsang transcripts; a compilation of talks full of simple pointings, contemplations, guided inquiry and interactions taken from online Satsangs of 2017. [Note: Simultaneous with much of this book, Ananta was giving an online series entitled ‘Ashtavakra Gita Commentary and Contemplation’. Some of the Satsang discourses or talks with the sangha appearing in this book make reference to Ashtavakra or ‘the Sage’] This book was transcribed with love by the sangha transcripts team; thank you Prarthana, Achala Devi, Jyotima, Ziya, Radha, Aps, Nitya, Anna, Amaya; with thanks to Krishna for the book cover and upload to website and with thanks to Fernando for the eBook/kindle version. Book compiled and edited by Amaya, keeping Ananta’s words as they were delivered as much as possible, so that his voice is heard as we read.

In deepest love and gratitude to Anantaji (nicknamed ‘Father’ by some, which somehow just happened on its own) these books are an offering to all who seek Truth, Self-Realization and freedom from suffering through these simple, clear and direct pointings; or whose search is over and yet find themselves here to enjoy the deepening resonance in the Presence of a True Master.

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Preface

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For New Ones in Satsang, A Few Pointers

Some are new in Satsang, so I can help with a few pointers. Sometimes the question of existence, of Being itself, can seem a bit confusing. So, just to make it a little clearer what we are talking about, I ask you: ‘Can you stop being?’

Can you stop being? Let’s try it. Try to not be.

When you try to not be, you see. ‘What is he saying? I just exist. I can’t help my existence’.

(The mind will come with some answers: ‘Okay, when I go to sleep, or when I die…’ We are not talking about the future.)

Just Now, can you not be?

Can you not exist?

So, this existence: is it effortful or effortless?

To exist is effortless.

So, this effortless existence becomes so apparent when I reverse the question. Because if I ask you ‘Can you find your Being?’ or if I say ‘Find this ‘I Am’?’ …, it can seem a bit confusing. It was confusing here also.

But when I say ‘Can you not be? Just don’t be. For a second, don’t be. Try not to be’.

[You realize] ‘I can’t help it. I just AM’.

This. This existence. Who is aware of this?

It is undeniable that it is ‘I’ that is aware.

But it is not (like Ashtavakra said) the small-minded ‘I’.

Which ‘I’ is this one, that is aware even of existence?

With no inferences, with no conceptual knowledge, if you were to just look…, with no spiritual concepts also, nothing…, empty of everything that we think we know, empty of all conclusions; just rely on your inner Seeing:

What is aware of my Being, of my existence?

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One Golden Technique

There’s one golden (maybe the only) technique (if there is such a thing) to come into the recognition of the Self. What are we discovering? What is the most primal experience? Or let’s start with saying ‘What is the most primal experience we can have?’ That ‘I Am’.

So, if this is the most primal experience we can have, and it’s been glorified for centuries as the primordial vibration (it has been called Atma, Consciousness, God; all these various terms have been applied to This) would it be too much to ask whether it is possible to go beyond even this?

The sense that ‘I exist’ is a common substratum to all existence. You cannot have the experience of any phenomena unless first I exist. Isn’t it? I must exist.

Stay with the words that I am using because very quickly the mind will try to add on things to what I’m saying and say ‘But I, as what?’ That’s exactly what we will look at.

At least this much, we must all be able to agree on by now: that I am existing is undeniable in this moment. Don’t go to the mental concepts. Those are just ideas about yourself. You will find that: I exist (without any sense of what is after ‘I exist’ or ‘I am what?’ That can come later).

So, if anyone that is here feels that they don’t exist, that’s a conversation maybe we can have after this one. But let’s start with this simple, natural presumption that this is the basis of all existence…, that I exist.

Then the only experience we will have of the Self (the Self as we refer to the Self) is to find out the Source of even this existence. To find out the Source of even this existence is a direct pointer to that which we are looking for; if what we are looking for is Self-realization or Self- recognition.

So, it’s right there; right there. What is the Source of my existence? I don’t feel we can get much more direct than this. One or two questions, maybe.

Now, if you notice your mind is trying to take you on some side-track and trying to bring your prior knowledge into this, then for some time allow it to come and go; don’t be bothered with it. Stay with my words as much as possible.

What is the Source of my existence?

Another way of asking this question is to ask: Who is the ‘I’ that exists? Which one is that one…, that exists?

Feel the question in some way. Say ‘I exist. I am’. Which is the ‘I’ that exists?

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[Silence]

Don’t be quick to jump to conclusions. And especially those who have been in Satsang, don’t feel like ‘I know the answer’. We are not going to rely on any prior knowledge. Just as if it is our first Satsang and a question has been asked:

Which is the ‘I’ that exists?

The only thing valuable here is not a concept. The only thing valuable here is your insight about this. And even if the mind is resisting with all its might and these words are sounding like rocket science, (but actually they’re very simple words) or if they’re sounding completely abstract, allow these feelings also to remain or to come and go; as they might be.

Which is the ‘I’ that exists?

Allow this question to percolate your Being, to permeate your Being:

Who am I…, that exists?

[Silence]

And don’t have any pre-conceived notions about what should show up. What does it mean ‘don’t have’? It only means if some notions should show up (are showing up) then you just let them go. It doesn’t matter if you’ve studied which form of spirituality, how much Satsang you have attended; all that we have heard or learned, don’t bother with it for some time.

[Silence]

I Am. I exist.

Which ‘I’ is this one?

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Some Clues

Staying within the framework of this question, now I’m going to start giving you some clues. Staying within the framework of this question, I’m giving some clues.

And again, I’m repeating; Don’t add your interpretation to what is being pointed at. The words themselves are potent enough to point you to where they need to point you.

We’re trying to look at ‘Which is the ‘I’ which exists?’

So, if the sense of existence is here, and all that is perceived is moving in front of it, in my Being…, (we can say it’s contained within my Being or perceived in front of my Being…, this is just terminology; don’t get confused by it) …, all that can be perceived is here, moving. [Holds up one hand and keeps it still, and places other hand in front of it, making motion] Time, space, light, sound, gravity, everything is here. What we are looking for is what is on THIS side: [Places the hand that was moving on the OTHER side of the hand which is stationary, behind it, as such]

So, for this side [Changes the non-stationary hand back in front of the stationary hand position and is making motion with it] it can be allowed to move in its own way for some time. It can be allowed to move in its own way for some time. But the exploration is: What is that which is on the other side? [Places the moving hand on the OTHER side of the stationary hand; behind it, as such] What is here? This is what we are looking at.

[Holds up stationary hand only] This, in the middle, is the sense of my existence. ‘I Am’.

The nature of the mind is that it can only report on that which is moving on this side. [Places the moving hand in front of the stationary hand].

What is on this side [Places the moving hand behind the stationary hand and keeps it in still position there] it cannot fathom. So, you know that the mind will not be able to help you in coming to a recognition about This. It might offer you a concept about This, but truly can’t help you with the recognition of insight about This. This insight has to be more primal, it has to be more direct; without the interpretation of the mind.

So, if you lift the veil of phenomena…, is there nothing else to ‘I’? Is there nothing to else to ‘I’ if we keep all phenomena away?

As I was sharing last time, a simple way to look at the same exercise is that you put everything which you perceive in a basket called ‘seen’. Everything you perceive, you put in a basket called ‘seen’. ‘I see this’. So, it goes into the basket. ‘I see the world’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I see the body’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I perceive my breath’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I perceive my thoughts, emotions’…, it goes into the basket. ‘I perceive that I am aware of even the sense that I exist’…, so even this goes in the basket.

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So, now, are YOU completely inside the basket? Partly inside the basket? Or not inside the basket at all?

A very simple exercise. Everything that you see, put it in the bag or basket of ‘seen’. What is left outside the basket now?

Some of you might be having the experience of the non-phenomenal aspect of yourself, when all the dynamic aspects of yourself have been put in the basket. And the impulse sometimes can be that ‘I need to hold onto this’. But instead of that, today you try to put this in also.

Jump into the basket. Even that which is aware of every phenomenon, can you put that also in the basket? Jump in, completely! And see if there continues to be an awareness, a witnessing, of this basket in spite of all your attempts to jump in.

Can You be contained in this phenomenal bucket? Or is there the greater aspect of you? (And ‘greater’ also I know is a spatial term, so it doesn’t fully apply, but you get the sense of what I’m saying.) Does the Source of all phenomena itself get fully contained in the phenomenal basket?

So, now we looked at two clues, isn’t it?

We looked at the first clue, which is to say that everything that is perceived, all phenomena is on this side. [Places the moving hand in front of stationary hand] Can we look at what is on this side? [Places the moving hand behind the stationary hand and keeps it in stillness there]

And another way of looking at the same thing was to use the basket metaphor, and to say that if everything that is perceived can be put inside this basket, or encompassed in a label called ‘seen’…, is there something which cannot be encompassed in this label?

Let me give you one more clue. And this one you’ve heard from me before: the sense that I exist. If some of you are still struggling to find the sense of existence and it seems like a mythical entity right nor or something, you know my favorite question for this is to: Try and not be. Can you not be…, right now?

In your attempt to not be, you will encounter your own Being, the Presence which is just present, the Being which is just being; Consciousness Itself.

There are two ways to approach this question. The first way, when I say ‘Can you stop being?’…, the first way is you could say ‘No, of course not! What kind of question is that? I can’t stop being’. And that is just a mental answer.

The second way to approach this question is to actually make this attempt to not be. Don’t be for an instant. Don’t exist.

And you will notice your own Being, your own Presence.

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So, you are now aware of your own Presence. That’s why you say ‘I can’t stop being. I’m just here’. So, when this answer comes from a place of insight, then it is a useful answer.

So, now the third clue is: Which one is aware even of this Being? What are the attributes of this one?

What are the qualities? What is the flavor?

What is the size or shape of this one that is now so naturally, effortlessly aware of your existence?

Again, it is not about the reporting. It is not about the right answer. It is to use these questions to come to a direct insight about the unchanging Self.

As you are asking yourself these questions, you might find that something starts fluttering on the phenomenal side; it could be the mind, it could be some emotions, it could be some story, it could be the body, it could be the outside environment. So, let all of these things just come and go. Consciousness itself has the power to do this. It is only playing as if it needs this direction.

So, whatever has to jump around on the phenomenal side of it [Holds up stationary hand and waves moving hand in front of it] we let that jump around, with no sense of impatience or rush. But you stay with the question:

What is aware of my existence?

For some of you, the mind might be screaming and saying ‘There’s nothing there, there’s nothing there! What’s this about? Is it not enough to just know it is nothing?’ Actually, no. To know it is nothing is to actually be in denial of it. Because the idea of nothing is like it is an empty glass; the absence of phenomena. What you will discover about yourself is that this is a FULL no-thing-ness…, yet without attributes or qualities.

I completely realize that these words don’t make any sense to the mind. And yet, as you come to the recognition of this, you will know what I am pointing to. Because although it is empty of quality and attributes, it is not the ‘nothing’ of the empty room or the empty glass. It is the no- thing which is the Source of all things, which is the Source of your own existence. It is Self- Aware.

The Source of existence implies the Source of all intelligence. The Source of all that can be conceptualized, that can manifest, is your own Self.

So, don’t fall for the concept for nothing (although it is no-thing). Come to the insight about this no-thing-ness which is the Self.

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To What Can I Say ‘Not This’?

I’ve often called the sense of existence a portal: A portal which goes both ways. So, on this side [Holds a stationary hand position and waves a moving hand in front of that hand] is this whole phenomenal play of emotions and thoughts and stories and life and family and relationships. And I’m not saying that they must vanish. Attention can also go to it. But just a little bit of attention on what’s on this side of the portal. [Moves the moving hand to the other side of the stationary hand and keeps it in stillness there] Just a little bit of looking at ‘What is the ‘I’ … in ‘I Am’…?’

I know all of you have been in Satsang long enough to hear this question:

What is the ‘I’ in ‘I Am’?

Why is it ‘I Am’ and not ‘You are?’ We say ‘I am aware of the sense of existence’. It’s almost objective in a way, isn’t it? So, why don’t we call it ‘You are’? ‘Oh, Presence, you are’.

Why do we say ‘I Am’? We’re aware of it. Yes, what do we call it? ‘I Am’. How come it’s ‘I’?

Even if the questions don’t make sense, that’s okay. Let them land somewhere. How come it is ‘I’?

This ‘I’ is actually a much-maligned word. [Chuckles] Especially in spirituality, we have maligned it completely and said ‘I, I, I is the ego’. I like very much when Guruji [Mooji] explained and said ‘This I…, it’s actually just a label’. It’s not only an ‘I’. It’s a chameleon ‘I’ which is used for the entire spectrum.

He says ‘The devil says I, and God says I’. What does it mean? The mind posing (the poser) the voice of limitation, the ego says ‘I’. We use the label ‘I’ for the body also. We use the label ‘I’ for our feelings (‘I am feeling’) for our thoughts, for any sensations. We use the label ‘I’ for ‘I Am’. And we use the label ‘I’ also for the Source of ‘I Am’.

We also use the label ‘I’ for our attention. Many times in Satsang we say ‘It was completely clear with you; sitting with you it was so clear. But I get stuck in tendencies, I get stuck in my relationship; I get stuck’. Which ‘I’ gets stuck? Many times, we are referring to our attention. ‘I get stuck with my thoughts’. Referring to our attention also is ‘I’.

This ‘I’ is a label. But what is the truest ‘I’?

What is the ‘I’ to which I cannot say ‘Not this’?

Most of you know about the practice of ‘neti, neti’. Just like we say ‘seen, seen, seen’. I see it, I’m the witness of it. I’m the subject and not the object. So, I’m not this is ‘neti’. (I see this. I am the subject in this, not the object.) Neti means ‘I am not this, not this, not this, not this’.

Does there come a point to which we cannot say ‘Not this’?

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That point is where ‘this’ is no longer phenomenal …, and yet, it is still ‘I’.

So, actually this is the 4th clue. It’s all the same, actually. But sometimes we need various approaches to get to the same thing.

What is it that we cannot say ‘Not this’…, that is so originally, inherently ‘I’ that when we ask the question: ‘Who is aware of this?’ it points to This Itself?

It is so originally and inherently ‘I’ that when we ask the question ‘Who is aware of this?’ it points back to Itself.

This is the point of where you’re coming to the non-phenomenal recognition of your Self.

Some of these words that I’m saying today, as I’m hearing them also, I feel like it would be very nice if you read them. Because if you hear them, it might seem like it’s just a bunch of words and they seem a bit complicated. But if you read them at your own pace, slowly looking at that which is being pointed to, then you will see the simplicity of them.

So, I’m saying: If we say ‘Who is aware of this computer?’ …, it takes us beyond the computer. ‘Who is aware of the body?’ …, takes us beyond the body. ‘Who is aware of thoughts?’ …, takes us beyond thoughts. ‘Who is aware of emotion?’ …, takes us beyond emotion. ‘Who is aware even of existence?’…, takes us beyond existence.

‘Who is aware of this awareness?’… This is the point. You see? It takes it back to Itself.

This is the Self which is unshakeable, unchangeable, unborn, undying, un-everything; [Chuckles] un-label-able, un-everything.

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On Which Side of Consciousness Does ‘I Am’ Want to Play Now?

On which side of ‘I Am’ does Consciousness want to play now? On which side of ‘I Am’ does Consciousness want to play?

This does not mean, by the way, that once the recognition is available, once the recognition is made about the Source of existence, it doesn’t mean necessarily that the play of resistance will stop or reduce. The play of existence can continue. In fact, it truly becomes a play only when there is a recognition of the Source. Until then, as much as we like, it doesn’t truly seem like a play because it can seem like I am a phenomenal entity contained in this phenomenal world and therefore can be attacked, hurt, affected by the phenomenal appearance and the disappearance. Once you See that your Self is the Source of all phenomena, and yet at the same time remains untouched and unchanging by any phenomenal movement, then you will start to enjoy this like a play.

Also, the mind can come with a trick and say ‘This means I must be in denial of phenomena’ or something. In fact, we are saying the opposite. Be completely inclusive of all phenomenal appearances, but just look beyond. You don’t have to push away any phenomena. Include them in your experience. But also look beyond.

And how to look beyond? Those three simple pointers that I shared today already.

So, this is the direct path to the recognition of the Self. And most of you, having been in Satsang, have had insights about this. The direct insight of the Self (for most of you) does not seem like something that is an abstract concept; unachievable.

So, all of Satsang, all of this sharing is actually for the idea of the transcendence of the limited idea we have about ourselves. As we are coming to the discovery of That which is prior to all phenomena, which is not constrained by any boundary, we are realizing our Self to be That which is prior even to Consciousness. Consciousness Itself coming to the recognition of its own Source (in its play of delusion and Self-recognition) is all that is happening now.

So, as you’re coming to the recognition of your Self, the mind will continue to make offerings to you; pointing you back to your limited nature, reminding you that ‘You are a limited entity, after all’ in spite of your recognition otherwise. The mind will continue to make these appeals to you and come up with things like ‘Yes, it is okay for Satsang but what about the real world?’ It wants to convince you that the limited self actually took birth and you are that. You see?

Subtly or blatantly, in most messages from the mind is contained the story of our limited-ness. And in this story, you are a limited entity trying to get to the Self. That is why the recognition of what you are Right Now is important. Because no matter what the life circumstances might be, what the age of your body might be, what the quality of your emotions might be, what thoughts may be coming (anything which is coming for all of us) the insight about the Self is the same. Therefore, this must be unchanging.

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The Self is ever-present; even more than ever-present actually because Presence itself is subject to the Self.

It is your limited ideas about yourself… (and when I say ‘your ideas’…, this is just Consciousness referring to Consciousness Itself; Consciousness playing with ideas of limitation) posing as a limited entity, posing as a person, posing as if it is just the mind, in this leela that is being played.

So, Satsang is nothing but these two aspects, which are completely inter-linked, which is:

The recognition of what is truly here: What is it that I truly Am? (even before ‘Am’?) and

How do I pose as if I am something limited? How do I pose as if I am a person?

And the dissolution of this belief in this idea of limitation is inter-linked very strongly with the recognition of the Self. And the recognition of the Self is inter-linked with Consciousness giving Itself the space for this recognition by not believing Itself to be what the mind is saying.

That is why the recognition of the Self and the letting go of limited concepts, letting go of our thoughts, are the two main aspects of direct Satsang in this way. Now it is up to You-as- Consciousness. How will you pose next? Will you pick up a pose? Or will you continue to remain with your insight about what you Are?

And Consciousness is completely free.

It is more amusing and ludicrous to presume that you are entity playing on this side [Holding one hand stationary while the other hand moves in front of it] of your existence (like a body/mind entity or whatever terminology you want to use) …, and it is more natural actually to See that you are That which is aware even of this existence. [Moves the moving hand on the other side of the stationary hand and keeps it in stillness there]

That is why Consciousness has given Itself this Divine hypnotizer called the mind, which has convinced us for most of our existence that ‘I am just a small entity playing on this side of my existence; that which can be perceived’.

So strong is the hypnosis that the question to really check is: ‘What is the basis of my existence? Who am I really? Who is the ‘I’ that is existing?’ It seems like a very rare question. And if you look at all of our lives, we will see that due to some grace, this question came into our lives.

If your mind is saying ‘I haven’t understood anything. [Chuckles] I’ve been sitting here for one hour and Ananta, you’ve been speaking, and I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about’…, don’t worry about it. As Guruji [Mooji] says, the good way to look at it is that you have bypassed the mind, because you’re still here.

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You Exist as That

What are we mainly talking about? We are mainly saying that you are not an object, you are not just an appearance. We are saying that you do exist, but you exist as that which is prior to your existence. The reality of your existence is prior even to sense of your existence; prior even to that. And all that we do in Satsang is keep checking this over and over again.

Then what happens is some of you will say ‘But, my mind doesn’t agree with this’. That’s why we say ‘Okay, don’t bother about what the mind is saying’.

That’s all that we are saying, isn’t it? The reality of you is not this objective appearance.

Therefore, the search for the Self, if it is going to be confined to something in the objective appearance, (something as if it is an object…, including a feeling, a joy, a bliss, a thought) this is not the end of the search.

The recognition of the Self is the cognition that ‘I am prior to all appearances’.

[Later]

Q: It’s the same thing happening over and over.

A:What is the critical difference? The critical difference is: what we refer to ourself as. That changes.

Are you referring to yourself as something that is a limited entity? Are you referring to YourSelf as the unlimited Being? Or are you referring to YourSelf as That which witnesses even this unlimited Being?

What is our starting point? Do we want to start as people trying to find God or trying to find the Self? Or do you want to start as the Self…, with nothing to talk about? [Chuckles]

Q: See, you talk like this Father and everything gets all muddled. [Laughs]

A:[Laughing] Okay, you start. At which level do you want to start from? I will meet you there.

Q:Right now, I’m very irritated actually. How can the mind overpower like this?

A:You are working hard to stifle a smile.

Q:[Laughs]

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A:You are feeling ‘Why is the mind powerful again?’ Do you want to hold onto the irritation or do you want to look with me?

Q: I want to look with you.

A:Okay. What is the mind overwhelming? You say ‘The mind has become very overwhelming’.

What is it overwhelming?

Q: Nothing is happening. Nothing is happening in the way which makes me comfortable.

A:So, let’s put it this way: ‘Nothing is happening the way you want it’. Let’s put it like that.

Q:Okay. Nothing is happening the way I want it.

A:So now, in this statement, the ‘I’ is which one? [Silence] [Jokingly] ‘Don’t ask me that…’

Q:From 100%…, 50% is gone the moment I entered the room; and the other 50% is going, so I don’t have anything to ask. [Laughs]

A:She says 50% went when she entered the room and the other part is now dissolving as she’s talking, so she feels like she will not have any question left soon.

Is it as simple as this? We’re just looking at our reference point, our position and clarifying it.

Could it be that the whole point of self-inquiry (this grand question ‘Who am I?’) could it be that the point of it is just to clarify our position?

Am I an object in this world? Or am I something which is not an object? Then actually look: What is my position?

So, may I submit to all of you that you are no-thing? May I submit this to all of you, in this realm of things: You are no thing.

That doesn’t mean that no-thing and nothing is the same. You see, this is an important clarification. There is a distinction between no-thing and nothing. No-thing is that about which nothing can be said, truly; but that doesn’t make it nothing. No-thing is that which has no attribute, has no quality; but that doesn’t make it nothing.

[Silence]

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So, how is it that this no-thing comes to take itself to be this meat bucket; this bundle of flesh and blood and bones? How is it that you consider yourself to be limited in any way? Let’s really investigate.

What makes Gautami, Gautami and Shivani, Shivani? Why are you ‘you’ and not me? This is Advaita, after all [Chuckles] and if you are talking about ‘Oneness’…, why are you ‘you’ and you are not ‘me’? How is it? What way is this distinction made?

Okay I’ll speak. One is that there is a material distinction. The set of atoms and molecules of this body are different, seemingly, from the set of atoms and molecules of the body that is there with you, intimate with you. So, the molecules of Shivani’s body are different form molecules of Gauatmi’s body.

But, is it just that? Is it just material? If the molecules were to exchange, will Gautami become Shivani and Shivani become Gautami?

What else is there?

What makes you ‘you’ in your own specific way?

The cells of this body are going; they keep changing, they keep falling. They say that most of the dust in our houses, you know what it is? They say that most of the dust in our houses is our dead skin. So, the cells in this body are changing, are going.

So, if this body is not it, then what makes you ‘you’?

What else is there?

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Am I Getting to My Freedom or Not?

A:Who says that it is me?

Q:I.

A:Which is this ‘I’ that claims ownership over this body-mind and says ‘It is mine or me’? See, why I am stressing on this very importantly is that in spite of a lot of Satsang, many times I´ve seen that the journey still can seem personal. You all went to many Satsangs and it can still feel like ‘Am I getting to my freedom or not?’ And in that ‘Am I getting to my freedom or not?’ we still pick up the idea of a limited ‘I’…, the limited sense of ‘I’ which is now doing well in its spirituality and coming to its freedom.

But as long as the reference is that of a limited ‘I’, that is not true Self-recognition. We could have glimpses of true Self-recognition and yet very quickly, because of the mind´s hypnosis, go back into the limited perspective of ourselves and say ‘I got it or I didn´t get it yet’ very quickly.

Also, it has been happening that some of us in the Satsang have been hearing some teachings of ‘non-doership’ and things like this. ‘Oh, I am not the doer’. But even in that, we pick up a limited sense of the ‘I’ which was considered to be ‘the doer’ earlier but now is ‘the non-doer’. So, all this confusion is still possible as long as we have a sense that ‘I am still this limited entity, and I used to have this attribute and now I don´t’.

That´s why the main point to clarify is that: Who is this ‘I that we are really referring to? Is this clarifying our position?

And then we can say that ‘But I am Awareness, I have no objectivity, I am pure non- phenomenality’ or something like that. There is no objective existence of ‘mine’. That which is beyond all qualities, how does that one come to consider Itself to be something which is so limited?

So, what is going on?

Q:Yes Father, what is going on?

A:What is going on? [Chuckles]

Q:Who is there? Something cares about what is happening? Who cares?

A:Yeah, but what is that?

Q:That is interest.

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A:Whose is that? We say on one hand that you are non-phenomenal. So, if you are non- phenomenal, can you even have an interest? Even that quality is not yours, if you are completely quality-less.

Q: But why does it seem so real, many times?

A:That´s what I am asking. So, which part of the equation don´t you see? Do you see that You are unlimited?

Q: Yeah, it seems that at times it´s so expanded…

A:But then are you fluctuating between being unlimited and limited?

Q:It seems to be limited, at times, when this whole theme happens.

A:Yes, but when you See? What do you See about yourself? Are you something limited or unlimited? See now! All of us, let’s See now!

Are you something that has a limitation in the form of even an attribute or a quality or a constraint of any sort? Just really look at what is looking itself! Really look at what is looking itself.

And if some visuals are coming for you, ask yourself: Who is looking at even these visuals?’

Look at the looking; don´t be scared!

I’ve been saying: Don´t be fearful of lifting this veil of phenomenality. Go beyond phenomena for a moment and check:

What is it that you are? Really!

I like this grid very much [Grid of video is showing all the sangha members]. So, all of you who find that you are limited, can you please raise your hands? [Laughter] All the limited ones? … Few limited; mostly unlimited.

Now, let’s look at what gives us the belief in this limitation. It could be the intimacy of the sensations of this body. For how many of you is it the intimacy of the sensations of the body that make you seem limited? (1, 2, 3, 4) … So, a few say that ‘Because I notice that there are some intimate sensations in the body, therefore I must be constrained by them; I must be something which is within these’. Is that what we are saying? Let’s look at that.

Q2: When I could see that there is just a blankness, a spaciousness which is being Seen ….

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A: He says a blankness is being seen.

Q2: What is this state called? Say something …

A:Yes, we’ll come to that. But if you see a blankness, so what? Q2: Nothing. I am not this. This body is not seen. I am dark.

A:Yeah. So, if I give you something to cover your eyes, you will see only blankness. Q2: Not that.

A:So then, which one?

Q2: Something. I am not interested in ‘states’. It´s only different.

A:Yes, very different, very different. Suppose I give you another experience; some magic powers (suppose) and I give you the experience where you can see the entire universe and there was everything, everything. The entire universe (whatever you can conceive of) you would perceive, (suppose). You get to go to all the lokas and wherever you want to go. Suppose you had all this.

Q2: I don´t know how to beat the condition.

A:Suppose I say that ‘I do this’ and you can do all this travel…, you can travel all the universes, multiverses; forget even universe. What would you be?

Q2: Think I am the blank but actually I want to see that.

A:How can a blank see? Q2: I don´t know. You see it.

A:[Chuckles] Are you a blank? Who sees the blank? Are you in the blank? Q2: That is before that.

A:Ah, so what is that which is before that? Q2: I don´t know.

A:Yes.

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Q2: I don´t know that but what I am seeing is blank.

A:Yes, that´s a very good point. I want to spend a few minutes on this. He says ‘Even the blank is seen. Something sees it but I don´t know what that is’. Now, would you say that you see it or the one next to you is seeing it and reporting it? Who sees the blank? Is it you or someone else?

Q2: No, it is everything is being seen.

A:But who is seeing everything?

Q2: That is something I don´t know.

A:Yes, but is it first hand or is it second hand? Q2: What is first hand?

A:First hand could mean that it is your direct experience. Or, she is sitting next to you; is she having that experience and reporting it?

Q2: Only I am having it.

A:Yes, yes. Therefore, you only know whose experience? Q2: Yes, I only know. I don´t know what others experience is.

A:You only know yours. Q2: That is what it is.

A:Yes. Now, this ‘you’ that is having that experience of witnessing something; that is what we are trying to find. Isn´t it?

Q2: Yes.

A:Now, you say ‘I don´t know what it is’. Q2: Because you ask me …

A:Yeah, it´s good; don´t worry, it’s not a test.

So, what have we confirmed so far? That there is a witnessing of all that is phenomenal. Now, you are not able to define what that is.

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Q2: Exactly.

A:And yet it is your direct experience. Q2: Yes.

A:Yes. Isn´t it? This is the ground we have covered. Isn´t it?

Now, how is this known? Not the attribute or the quality of that, but how is it known that there is something that is witnessing the entire thing?

Q2: This is itself experienced as that, as this. I don´t know whether I am that. [Inaudible]

A:And yet, there is something which is there. Not a thing but something which is there. It says that ‘It is my direct experience’. Not somebody else´s. So, when I ask you ‘Are you aware now?’…, are you aware now or no?

Q2: Yeah, I am still aware of that.

A:No. Are you aware or unaware? Q2: I am aware.

A:You are aware?

Q2: I am aware and that is aware.

A:Very good.

Q2: And that is aware of itself.

A:Very good. I am enjoying this conversation very much. So, there are only two ways in which we see a certain thing. Isn´t it?

One that is the direct experience of ours.

Or second, we are just making it up.

Isn´t it?

Now, when you are saying ‘I am aware’ is this your direct experience? Or you are just making it up?

Q2: No, no. Direct experience.

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A:It is your direct experience. And yet, you don´t see this Awareness. Q2: I don´t see. I feel it, I experience it; whatever…

A:You experience it. It´s very good. [Chuckles] I am sorry that you are on the hot seat because you are just open somehow. So, it´s very good that we are having this conversation.

Is there anything else about which you can say ‘It is there but I don´t see it or I don´t perceive it?’

Q2: But when you are asking me if it matches with her experience, I don´t know that; other than that within me, everything is seen.

A:No, let’s come back to where we were. You say that ‘I am aware. I am aware. But I don´t see it; I don´t perceive it’ (like I perceive computer, I can perceive body but this I don´t perceive).

Q2: Yeah, there is emptiness, spaciousness.

A:Besides this Awareness, is there anything else you can say the same thing about? Q2: No.

A:You cannot. You see? So, first is very important to See this. And Guruji [Mooji] says that the only non-phenomenal experience you will ever have is your experience of YourSelf. This is what it means. For everything else we say: computer, table, ground, water, coconut.

Q2: In terms of objects.

A:We see them objectively and we say ‘Yes’. Then, what is it that is this Awareness? If we don´t see it objectively (you cannot say the color of awareness; you cannot say the size and shape) and yet we say ‘Yes, of course’. When I say ‘Don´t be aware for a moment’ …, can you do it?

Q2: That is what is there always.

A:Always there. Is it? Always there. You Know this beyond a mental knowing, beyond a perceptual knowing. You Know it at the core. You see?

Q2: But what is when you step out of this?

A: [Chuckles] We`ll get to that.

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Q2: I just lose it.

A:That is exactly what we are exploring; what happens when we lose it? Q2: And how do we retain it?

A:[Chuckles] Okay, so my exercise for you is: Before you leave this room, can you lose it and show me? Lose it for one moment. Don´t be aware.

Q2: No, I can´t lose it. But can I transact with the world with that?

A: You are transacting now. Have you lost Awareness?

Q2: No, no, no. But this is very comfortable. When I’m transacting outside, it’s different.

A:He says that ‘This is fine, this is comfortable. We are transacting. I cannot lose Awareness. I see that. But what about when I go to the outside world?’ Now, to even say that ‘I lose my Awareness’ needs Awareness, isn´t it?

Q2: Yes.

A:On what basis will we report when I lost Awareness? We were discussing this in a very beautiful chat we had the other day where we were exploring this. To say that: Can this Awareness also come and go? Or does Awareness know itself?

But even to say ‘Awareness does not know itself’ would need an Awareness of it, isn´t it?

So, can this Awareness really go? Or are you talking about attention?

This distinction is very important. Because attention is the phenomenal functioning of the Self which is Awareness. It comes very close, like Awareness; because it has no color, has no shape and yet it is limited because you cannot give your attention to everything. So, many times we confuse our attention with our Self. And then we can feel like ‘I lost my Self” but actually what is happening is just a play of attention. Even to report that ‘Attention is not within me, it is going outside, it is getting lost’ …

Q2: When we´re turning our attention, can sometimes attention itself become Awareness (or Consciousness can be another name of it; synonymous)?

A:When we see ourself as Awareness, when we see ourself to be Awareness, then there is not even the functioning of attention. Because the functioning of attention is to bring the perceptual world to life. The phenomenal appearance exists only because our attention is on it.

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So, when Ashtavakra said, “You are the one solitary witness of all there is” …, this is what he meant. All there IS is appearing because it is a play of your attention to give this perceptual world life. You see?

Now, what happens is that when attention goes back home (to say in one way) then not even the functioning of attention we can say anything about. Then what are we? We are just this Awareness.

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The Difference Between Conscious Awareness and Night Sleep

Q:Can I ask you one thing? What is this difference between the conscious Awareness in the night sleep, when we’re gone? What is the difference?

A:Yes. What time you woke up this morning?

Q:5:15

A:5:15, you say so conclusively (and that´s very early). [Chuckles] So, 5:15 you woke up. What changed at 5:15? You say ‘I woke up at 5:15’. What changed at 5:15? Before 5:15, what was there?

Q: Nothing. I don´t know.

A:Nothing. Nothing was there. You didn´t know?

Q:I don´t know because it was all black.

A:[Chuckles] But even that there was ‘nothing’ needs a Knowing, isn´t it? But this Knowing is not mental. Now, our habit has become to say ‘knowing means this’ (like knowing mentally). But to even say ‘I woke up at 5:15’ requires this Knowing that there was nothing and then there was everything.

But even before everything came…, ‘I Am’. See, the sense of existence woke up; the sense ‘I Am’ woke up (that which, in our type of Satsangs, we call Consciousness). The sense ‘I Am’ woke up within You…, within You meaning ‘Within this Awareness which is quality-less, attribute-less, unborn, un-label-able, undying. You see?

Q: You say ‘When the Consciousness woke up’. What was it before 5:15?

A:It was what? That is a very good question. He says ‘What was it before 5:15?’ So, let’s go with our experience. There is no phenomenal appearance. All there IS, is this ‘Knowingness’ of ‘No-thing’. Then there is the emergence of that what we call Consciousness. What must it be made up of? If already in our experience there is only Awareness, therefore what must Consciousness be made up of? It must be made up of That itself. You see? Sleep state [holding up his fist], waking state [raising a finger]. Is there one hand or two?

Q: One.

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A:One hand. This is Awareness [holding up his fist] within which there is a sense ‘I Am’ which is arising [raises a finger]. This is the ‘I’ [pointing to his fist] within which there is the ‘I Am’ arising [raises the finger]. Did the separation really happen?

Q: No.

A:And yet, qualitatively, it can look like ‘Now, there is a finger [holds up his finger] where there was none earlier’. You see? Now, qualitatively it can seem like ‘I have come into this existence’ but in reality, it is just ‘I’ which is ‘Am’. The appearance of ‘Am’ [holds up his finger] doesn´t mean that ‘I’ changed [makes fist]. ‘Am’ is appearing [raises his finger] and ‘Am’ is disappearing [takes his finger down]. I remain the same.

I-Awareness remains untouched [makes a fist] in this play of ‘Am-ing’ [holds up his finger] and ‘not-Am-ing’ [takes his finger down] …, in the waking, dreaming [holds up finger] …, all these states come and go I [makes fist] remain unchanged, untouched.

So, my dynamic aspect, my qualitative aspect, wakes up as ‘I Am’. So, ‘I’ (completely quality- less, attribute-less, beyond time, beyond space) then plays as ‘I Am’. With the birth of

‘I Am’ all these toys (time and space, light and sound) all these come into play.

Within this is the birth of a power; the power of belief. ‘I Am’ can take itself to be something which is emerging within itself, like an object. It can say ‘This is ‘I Am’: I am a person, I am a good person, I am a spiritual person, I am this body, I am the husband, I am the father’. You see?

The ‘I Am’ itself; before ‘I Am’ there is nothing, none of this. Once ‘I Am’ comes, then there is the power to take on all of these attributes of ‘I am this, I am this, I am this, I am that’. So, this is called conditioning.

As we look more and more at ‘What is it that I Truly Am?’ …, (what is the source of this finger? It is the hand itself?) …, then all the false conditioning starts to wash away.

It starts to wash away. Then you say that ‘None of this really applies to what I Am in reality. And we come from associated (which is conditioned Being, in a way) to unconditioned. ‘All of these attributes which I`ve given myself don´t truly apply to Me because I Am this unlimited Being. No limitation applies’.

That´s why I said ‘What is the perspective you want to take?’ Do you want to start with the perspective that ‘I am a person, I am a body/mind and I want my freedom’ …, from that perspective?

Are we open to just looking at what is Truly Here? Being without a concept. Being without a limitation. To even ask ‘What is aware of this Being?’ …, ultimately, it is Seen that even this sense of Being is a coming and going.

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Mind is Not Required

Q:To choose, at that respective body level, is not mind required to begin with?

A:No.

Q:Then how to differentiate if mind is not there?

A:This is a good question; another way of asking ‘Isn’t it a personal choice that I am making?’

No.

When ‘I Am’ says ‘I am a body’ who is making that choice? [Chuckles]

Mind is the energetic functioning of thoughts, isn’t it, appearing within the ‘I Am’ itself. Correct? The power of belief in this energy construct must belong to who?

Could it be that Consciousness has created an entity strong enough to make Consciousness believe something about Itself? Can there be something like that, that God Himself has created an entity that is strong enough that makes God believe something about Himself/Herself? It cannot be.

Therefore, it must be part of God’s play, even the delusion, using the energetic construct of these thoughts which are appearing to say ‘Yes, I will play like this by picking up these’. And when Consciousness is done with this play of playing as this individual limited entity, and coming to this expansion of what It really is, then it drops all this belief in these limitations.

The power of belief must therefore belong to Consciousness Itself. That’s why we say that ‘Satsang is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness’.

Why does Consciousness have to? It doesn’t have to. It already knows everything. But this is the way the leela is designed.

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Where is the Free Will?

Q: Where is the free will?

A: If you are God, you are completely free to do whatever you want. Who else has free will?

Q: So, then that only seems to be ‘free will’.

A:As God, you are completely free. As what do you want to know whether you have free will or not?

Q:So, it’s only a question of mind; of me? Or do we have…?

A:‘We’ means who?

Q:‘I’.

A:Which one? What are you speaking as, so I can give you an answer from there? If you are speaking as a person, I will say ‘You don’t even exist. How can you have anything, including will?’ Can a figment of your imagination have free will?

Q: No.

A:So, if you’re speaking as the non-existent ego, then can that have free will? If something doesn’t exist…, like how many legs are there in a chair which doesn’t exist? One leg is free will/doer-ship, one leg is desire, one leg is duality…, in the chair which doesn’t exist.

Q:Is everybody’s Consciousness equally invested in the reality of the ego personality, or …, the idea is to reduce it and remember that You are not that?

A:She says, “Is everybody’s Consciousness equally invested…”

What makes you feel like there is another Consciousness?

Q: So, they’re all the same Being?

A:Yes. There’s only one Being. But until this is clear, don’t worry about it. Because when you stay with this, you See that all these conditions don’t apply to Me, to my Being; My Being is limit-less. Then you will See, in your Seeing, that there is no other Being actually. All of this is a play. Like this hand is moving on its own, these words are moving on their own. In the same way, this entire world is moving inside One Being, by the power of Its own existence.

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Don’t Believe, Instead See

Q: Until we come to the realization, do we have to believe?

A: No. We have to SEE. There is really no ‘You have to…’

But playing this game of Satsang, I can tell you that the only requirement (if there is one) is to just check:

What is it that I am?

What is your position?

What is your reference point?

[Silence]

All the limitations which you feel like you have, like the limitation of this body, is that limitation within you?

Or are you within that limitation?

[Silence]

Like we were saying earlier about sensations in the body; we just have to see whether they are within us, in the same space of experiencing as the sound of this fan, as the noise from this road…, or I am inside that?

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‘I Am’ Arising After Deep Sleep

A:‘When you report that I Am this Awareness’…, are you saying that that is personal or the Seeing of it is personal? I’m not very clear about what you are saying.

Q:Okay, it’s like saying ‘In deep sleep, what were you there?’ I’m the one who is there to say that ‘Nothing else, even this talking, not even ‘I Am’ was there’. It’s my direct experience. I don’t have to ask anybody.

A: Exactly.

Q:But the arising of this ‘I Am Consciousness’ doesn’t seem to be my direct experience. That is what I’m saying.

A: The arising of ‘I Am’. Then what would you say your experience of waking up from sleep is?

Q: Yes, now I feel ‘the person’ is talking and saying ‘I did not see ‘I Am’ arising’.

A:Okay, let’s slow down a bit. When we say ‘person is talking’ is it really possible for a person to talk?

What we are really saying is that there is Consciousness (which is believing itself to be a limited entity) which is now making a report. But that concept of the limited entity cannot really have a report for itself, isn’t it? All reports are Consciousness.

Q: Yeah. Okay, so now when I’m now looking as Consciousness, I have nothing to report.

A:How do you mean you have nothing to report? The phenomenal universe is appearing in front of you, isn’t it?

Q: Yes, it’s there but I don’t have any question to say ‘Did this appear or not?’

A:Yes, yes. Is that a problem?

Q:No.

A: Maybe I’m missing the essence of what you ask.

Q:What I’m saying is just ‘Why can I not see the arising of this ‘I Am’? Yes, I see this whole waking state. I am the witness of it. Okay, I got the answer! As being the witness of it, I am the Awareness who is the witness of this waking state. So, how can I say I don’t see it arising?!

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A:Yes, that is what I’m saying. For those who say ‘There is no difference actually in my life between Awareness and Consciousness and why do you speak about Consciousness?’ what they really mean is that they don’t find any difference between deep sleep and waking state, which is not true.

We know that there is no substantive difference, but there is a qualitative difference. We know that this is the hand, and yet the finger appears. [Pointing one finger upwards]

Q:Just now, I’m witnessing it. Yes, I see now, as the Awareness I am witnessing this whole state. You know, when I consider myself as person then I’m asking ‘Why don’t I see the ‘I Am’ arising?’ but when I stay as just the Awareness, then I am the witness of it. I see it has come and I will know when it will go.

A:Very good. So, now I have a question to confuse you, which is: If Awareness was the witness (but awareness was already witnessing and it was knowing that it was witnessing) who just now came to the recognition that Awareness has always been the witness?

[Silence]

Q:[Laughing] It’s all pointing back to Awareness. I have no other answer. Nothing else but Awareness Knows; I mean nothing.

A:As Consciousness, as Being; because for Awareness there is no forgetting. Delusion recognition, inquiry; all this does not apply. Awareness is just aware. But in the play as its dynamic aspect (which is Consciousness) the play is the finger, because it can believe itself to be a finger with a hat on, a finger which is a nice finger, a finger that is like that and like that. And now, then the finger is turning inwards and recognizing its own Source and saying ‘No, I’m not any of this. I Am This’.

So, Maharajas book, ‘I Am That’ (Tat Twam Asi) is a pointing for who? It is for ‘I Am’ to see that I Am That. There is nothing personal in this. No person is coming to the recognition because no person exists.

Who is recognizing that there is awareness? Who is recognizing that ‘I am Awareness’? Who is here that can make this discovery? So, it is not Awareness in its quality-less, attribute-less aspect that can play this game of deluding and can play the game of personhood and stepping away from the personhood and come to clarity. It is only Being, pretending in this leela to play as if it can get caught up in its limitation; as if it has designed these alarm clocks, to come in the form of Gurus to come and show you that You are not this limited entity; You are truly Awareness.

Beingness Itself is dropping all the false attributes It has given to Itself.

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Q:But when we say just now ‘It is ‘the I’ which becomes the ‘Am’…, sometime back we said ‘It is I-Awareness (and only attribute-less Awareness) which becomes the ‘Am’ …, that from this Awareness arises this feeling of Beingness, Consciousness, Am-ness; and the power to delude itself, the power of belief, arises with this Am-ness. Right?

So, at the end of the road, at the end of the end, I can’t go beyond Awareness. So, isn’t it the Awareness itself which is doing this? This question always bugs me. At the end of the day, it has to be Awareness itself which wants to do this. Why would it do it otherwise?

A:Yes, but the thing with this is that is that there is no quality, there is no attribute to this Awareness. So (to make the question go away) I can tell you that a primal urge came within this Awareness, a desire to experience Itself as if It was phenomenal; and from that came this entire phenomenal world, this entire phenomenal sense of existence. But even that is a conclusion we use to make the question go away, because we cannot truly say anything about That which is non- phenomenal.

Can That which is non-phenomenal have a desire? If you don’t have a quality or an attribute, can you desire something? Can you have an urge?

Q: No.

A:All of these are answers which we use to just make the question go away because the true answer is not there. There is no such thing as a true answer as to why ‘I’ choses to play as ‘I

Am’. It just does.

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What Do We Mean By ‘Person’?

What do we mean by ‘person’? Person means the idea we have about ourself as a limited entity; the limited entity which has concerns like relationships, money, physical body and even freedom. So, this ‘I am something’ is the idea of being a person, the idea of separation, the idea of individuality. So, this is what we mean by ‘person’ …, the imaginary one, the entity that we believe ourself to be.

Then this Sense-of-Existence, this Being (we call it Sense-of-Existence, Being, Consciousness, God) … the qualitative ‘finger’ [The finger which arises from the hand but is one with the hand]

…‘I Am’ …, this is what we call Consciousness; that which emerges, in the light of which the waking state comes, the dream state comes. I Am.

This I Am: we call this Beingness the sense of Being, the Presence, Consciousness, God. All these terms are used for this sense of Consciousness.

Then, what about the Absolute, the one that is aware even of this Being? What do we call That? We call it the Absolute, we call it Awareness, we call it the Primal Witness, we call it the Self; Brahman.

Someone says: Atman.

Atman we usually refer to as the sense of Being.

Para-Atman or Brahman we would call This One.

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About Awareness in Deep Sleep

A:You say that in deep sleep state I am not aware. What is Aware that I am not aware?

That is Awareness which is Aware of itself as no-thing, not as some-thing. This is a very important point. Let me see if I can deconstruct this.

What is memory? It is the repository of all the experiences that we are having in life, isn’t it? I am having this experience which will then go into this pool within Consciousness, which we call memory.

Now I report on things which were my experience, which were my live experience. But I dig into my memory to get those experiences out of there. In the same way, I’m referring to memory to get my experience of sleep out of them. But when the experience of sleep was happening, there was only sleep.

Now, there are only two ways. One is that we discard all memory and say that it does not report on anything which really happened in a true experience. Or we say it is the repository of all the experiences which have happened over time; I will refer to it like that.

So, if we choose to refer to it in that way, then we can say in sleep state there was nothing; I had that experience of nothing. I can of course report on that experience only in the waking state because all the apparatus for the reporting is only here. But the experience of that cannot be had here.

Q: That explains it.

A: What is memory? It is the repository of all the experiences that we have had.

Now, if we take it as a purely Advaitic position, we can say that even this memory is false. The only experience that you have is Now. But if you want to give some sense of a time-bound existence, then we have to use memory to say ‘This is my experience’. Like after 10 minutes you will come and say ‘We had that experience that we were engaging on in this question’. It was your live experience right now, isn’t it?

So, if we were to refer to memory for our sleep, you see that there was an experience that there was nothing. So, the experience was then and now. It got stored up in the repository of experiences, which we are referring to now.

You were Aware then, but you can only report about that when the apparatus of the waking state is there.

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Because even to say that ‘There was nothing’ needs an Awareness that there was nothing. Even to say that ‘Awareness was not there’ would need an awareness to know that Awareness was not there.

You cannot truly say that ‘Awareness was not there’ or ‘This Knowingness was not there’ because even to say that has to come from a Knowingness or an Awareness.

You see what I am saying?

Why the trouble comes is because we have confused Knowingness to be a mental knowingness or a perceptual knowingness. I perceive phenomena; therefore, I know something; or I know a concept (the world is round) that’s why I know something. It is not that. This is a Knowingness which is prior to all of these.

You cannot escape this one, because to even say ‘I don’t know’ means what? It means that ‘I know that I don’t know’.

When you say ‘I don’t know’…, what is it that we are reporting? You are reporting that ‘I know that I don’t know’.

Q:I don’t understand the concept of Maya. Why do we call the waking state Maya or something which is unreal? It seems like it is real.

For this we have to have knowledge of two terms: the knowledge of the term ‘appearance’ and knowledge of the term ‘Reality’.

You know these two terms: appearance and Reality? So, when we say that something is just an appearance or we say something is Reality, what is the difference? It still appears, you see. It still appears.

The distinction that they have made, the people who have defined Maya as the unreal, is that the appearance is not constant, it is not eternal. Reality must be real.

If I say ‘These curtains are black’…, you say ‘Yes, they are black’. Tomorrow you come and say ‘They are yellow’. So, was it real that the curtains are black? No, but in that appearance, they were appearing as if they are black. So, that which is changing is ‘appearance’. That which is Real is unchanging.

So, when we say ‘Viveka’ we are distinguishing between the real and the unreal. Means what? It is not whether something is appearing or not. Nobody is denying the appearance of this world; yes, it’s clear. Even to say that ‘This world is not real’ we need the appearance of the world. Only within that we can say it, isn’t it?

The way of looking at appearances vs. Reality is to See that which is a momentary appearance; and to See that which is constant.

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Now, can we find that which is constant throughout, which doesn’t change? Can we find something?

Q:I have seen my son today…

A:What do you mean by your son? Do you mean the body of your son? Did you see the concept of your son or the body of your son?

Q: Body of my son.

A:Body of your son. But the body has changed. Like the son that was born, when the baby was born, is not the same son that is there now. What makes it your son?

Q: [Inaudible]

A:But with playfulness…, because you make it very serious, like ‘I am not getting it, I am frustrated, what is this?’ Just playfully we are dancing with all this, in our joy, to See: what is constant in anyone’s body? All bodies are changing. You say ‘This building is constant’ but it won’t be here 1000 years later, it wasn’t here 20 years before.

What is there which is a constant?

Our own bodies, the body that was born, has no cell in common with this body that is here.

So, is there something like a constant?

So, that is what we mean by Maya; that realm of Appearances. Everything is constantly changing.

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That Which is Central to our Existence

So, what´s happened is that we´ve taken that which is central to our existence, we´ve taken that to be an entity, like a person. All during this process of Satsang we are just clarifying: ‘What is it that is at the center of my existence? Is that personal?’ And we´ve been trained and taught by our mind and those around us that it is an entity with a name which is been given to you; that that is an entity with a name you have (supposedly). But that which is your existence is Consciousness itself. That is what we´re coming to see.

There is nothing individual or personal truly about my existence unless I believe there is, unless I pretend there is. And this power of belief, power of pretense, belongs to Consciousness; and therefore, it seems very strong itself. That´s why for some of us, even though we´ve been together for a long time, the power of this conditioning can seem to reiterate itself, over and over again. And as this conditioning reiterates itself, then we hear this voice in Satsang which says ‘Don´t listen to that one for a bit! Listen to this voice’.

I was telling somebody the other day that it´s very uncomfortable to sit on two chairs at the same time. So, if you are listening to both, to this voice in Satsang and to your mind´s voice as if both could be true and trying to reconcile both of them then it becomes a very painful…, a spiritual journey full of struggle. Because there is no reconciliation really between the mind´s voice and this voice.

The premise itself is completely different. The premise of the mind´s voice is that there is an individual entity called a person at the center of this equation, at the center of your existence. And the premise of this [Satsang] voice is that this is a monologue within one Consciousness.

So, how will we reconcile these two? [Chuckles] That which seems to have a limited entity at the center of the equation, and that which has unlimited Beingness as the basic premise; can these two be reconciled? Only to the extent that I am not involved in that equation when the mind is saying something. The mind is saying ‘The coconut is green’ …, if you want to give it some credit that something phenomenal is interpreting and reporting about. But there is no truth about the reality of What I Am to be found in the words of the mind.

So, this is why it can seem like a bit of a struggle. The spiritual journey can seem like it is frustrating, it can seem like it is a struggle because we are trying to comfortably sit on two chairs. The ‘mind-chair’ and the ‘intuition-chair’ or the ‘Satguru-chair’.

Now, if it were just a question of two different belief systems (where the mind has a belief system that there is an individual ‘I’ and the Master has a different belief system that there is no individual ‘I’) …, if this were just a belief system, then it would be a clash of belief systems with no actual true recognition. But the Master is not saying that ‘I have a belief system that you must follow’. The Master is only asking whether we have validated what the mind is saying about us.

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Have we really checked (when we picked up the idea ‘I’) have we really, truly checked that this ‘I’ is true, is real? Is that too much to ask for? [Chuckles]

If we spend our entire life with the ‘I’ at the center of this life (the I, me, mine, myself; ‘I, me, and myself’) at the center of this life, then is it not a fair question to truly check: What is this ‘I’?

Another beautiful thing we recognized, which we´ve been recognizing over the past few weeks is that the mind loves to ask ‘Why?’ It loves to ask ‘Why?’ … ‘Why is this happening to me? Why not I am getting it? Why does nobody understand me?’ So, ‘Why, why, why?’ is a fearful question.

W-H-Y’ is the favorite question of the mind. And somehow, just with the change of one alphabet letter, it becomes the least favorite question of the mind. Why is W-H-Y the favorite question and W-H-O the least favorite question? It´s a question of just one alphabet letter.

It likes to find out why; the meaning of things for an individual entity. ‘Why is my life like this? Why can´t I find happiness?’

What about the ‘Who’? If we look at all our reports (and I get quite a few reports every day) if you could replace all the ‘Why-questions’ with a ‘Who-question’ …

‘Why? Why am I saying this?’ You can ask this ‘Why’ question. [Chuckles] Why? Because most of our questions are about this ‘identity-me’ sitting at the center of it and then saying ‘Why is this like this?’ The basis itself is a figment of our imagination. The basis itself (the central standpoint itself) is imaginary. Therefore, all the explanations will also be fiction. Isn´t it? If the basis itself is fiction then all the explanation, all the interpretation will be fiction.

So, when we come to Satsang actually we are saying that we are done with fiction. We want to know what is truly real. And before I can know what is truly real about the world, can I know what is truly real about myself? Even before we come to these ideas of whether the world is real or unreal, whether it is Maya or whether it is just an appearance, can we come to a recognition of who ‘we’ are?

The rest of the insights, they can follow. And sometimes we share them in Satsang but that is not primary to what is being spoken about. Primary is: ‘What is it that I am?’

This question is always super fresh. This question ‘Who am I?’ is always very fresh. It doesn´t seem like that sometimes because we quickly go to a mental answer of it. There is no moment of Self-recognition which is just stale; there is no moment of Self-recognition which is just ‘Oh, that was it?’ [Chuckles] You see? That´s why the question itself is very beautiful every time it is asked! If we are using it as a tool for our own looking then it is impossible to be jaded with this question actually. If you use it as a tool for some sort of a mental knowing ‘Yeah, I know, it´s Awareness’ or ‘I know I am the Absolute’ or something then it becomes stale. Then the mind-

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resistance can seem strong; always the same old stuff. ‘For four years we´ve been speaking of the same old stuff’.

Can you find one moment of Self-recognition in which the recognition itself is not pristine? Not in the interpretation of it but in the recognition itself?

What are you Right Now?

[Silence]

And if you don´t worry about the interpretation for a bit, it is so sublime. Prior to a sublime experience is sublimity-before-experience.

If something is being seen, ask: ‘Who sees that?’

What is the shape of that who sees any shape?

[Silence]

Like a school child getting off from the school bus doesn´t say ‘Oh, I don´t want to run home because it is the same home I know’. [Chuckles] You see? It´s always running home. Just like that; the Self-inquiry. Look at it from this place of recognizing and not interpreting. It doesn´t matter what your report is about it.

What is your taste of your Self?

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Do I Exist as a Person?

So, what is it that we are exploring again? We’re looking at:

What is the core of my Being, at the centrality of my existence?

Is there an individual entity there?

Or is this existence the Presence of Consciousness or God-Itself?

So, what should one do if it is presumed that there is an individual entity here and the voice which is mostly available in the form of our own thought is also reinforcing this idea? Then what should one do? They can look for themselves.

Those who are attracted to inquiry can look for yourself and SEE: What is it that is here? Is there something personal about existence? I exist. Do I exist as a person?

And for those who feel that they cannot look, where it seems like the temperament itself is not suitable to this looking, then they can surrender to whatever smells like the Truth to them. In the Presence of That, if they find inner peace, if they find spaciousness, contentment and ease, they can hand over their existence to This Existence…, even if it seems like there are two for now.

Therefore, when Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said that we can either inquire or surrender, this is what he meant. Either we look for ourselves ‘Who is it that I am?’ or if we find that we cannot look, then we just hand over all ideas about ourself to that which smells of Truth. Usually it’s a combination of these two.

So, if for some time if we just don’t look at the auxiliary questions, ‘Why? What? When? Where?’ [Chuckles] and look at one main question which is ‘Who?’…, then That which is central to us becomes clear.

And if we are unable to ask ‘Who?’ we can surrender all ideas, all the ‘W’s to God or the Master; whatever you feel like is closest to the Truth in your existence.

I was telling someone the other day that you can either be Frank Sinatra or you can have a Master. [Chuckles] What I mean by ‘Frank Sinatra’ is you can either have ‘My Way’ [A song he made famous] or you can have a Master. There is no point really in saying that someone is your Master but then trusting your mind more than anything else.

So, as we drop allegiance from this one that is claiming that there is an individual entity at the core of my Being, and ask ‘Who is that one?’ …, it shows You that You are limitless beyond infinity.

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Is There Any Boundary to Existence?

There is this favorite question which is ‘How do I distinguish between the mind and my intuition?’ And I´ve shared that the mind is always wanting something, wanting to grasp at something, always in a rush; its purpose is for something to feel special or to protect itself. It is very ‘me-centric’. And this intuitive Presence is very spacious; is accompanied by love and peace usually.

But the simpler way also to look at it is to see that that which refers to ‘me’ as if I am a limited entity, as if I have a boundary, is the mind. And our intuitive voice is not speaking as if it is referring to a limited entity. Our intuitive voice is this voice which is saying that ‘You don´t have a boundary. We are one Being. All the limitations are just one appearance in the realm of appearances’. And what to do with this? Don´t take this as the gospel truth.

Just to look for yourself:

Do I have a boundary?

Can I find where the sensations of the boundaries are appearing?

In that space of existence, is there any boundary?

Is there any limitation?

Just this simple checking:

What exists?

What does it mean to exist?

Who is it that exists?

There are many of you who might respond and say ‘But my experience of myself is that I am limited’. But just check a little more closely and see whether that which we are calling a limitation is also not part of your broader experience. For example, the boundary of your body, can it really limit you? Or is the sense of the boundary also an experience within the unlimited space of experiencing?

For some time, don´t trust that voice in the head which says ‘No, no…, but my experience is not this. It´s sounds very good but it´s not my experience’. I know that our experience is the same, actually. So, all that is being taken for a limitation, actually is being experienced in unlimited existence; unlimited space of Being.

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Who Is Aware of This Existence?

(Guided Inquiry)

Now, can we walk one more step together and look at:

What is aware of this existence?

What is aware that I exist?

[Silence]

Don’t expect to see anything at all.

The recognition will not be visual.

It will not be perceptual at all.

Don’t expect any phenomenal answer.

What is it that is aware?

Is it I? Am I aware?

Don’t use any old definition of ‘I’. Start completely fresh.

What is aware that I exist?

If a visual is coming don’t try to push it away.

Include that. Include that in your existence.

And check: Who is aware of this?

No pushing anything aside.

Just remain open to everything that comes, and stay with the question:

Who is aware of my existence?

[Silence]

If thoughts or emotions come, include those in your existence.

And remain with the looking for ‘Who is aware of this existence?’

This ‘I’ that is aware of existence, does it have any quality?

Does it have any attribute?

Does it take up any space?

Remain with this even if it seems a bit shaky.

Allow the shaking to happen.

And just check: Who is aware of even this?

Now, what is true about you?

Are you phenomenal or non-phenomenal?

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Are you ‘I Am’ or ‘Before I Am’?

Do any of these conclusions even apply if you conceptualize yourself in any way now?

This is what can seem like the inward journey, isn’t it? It seems like this is the inward journey but actually, if you were to really look, this journey is a journey to That which is outside this universe.

You are recognizing your Self in which this universe, this phenomenal play, appears. So, it is a journey out of time and space.

Then, that which we call this outward journey is this journey which is actually inward because within You appears this sense of existence; I Am.

And as a result of this ‘I-Am-Existence’ comes the existence of time, space, light, sound. All these phenomenal qualities exist within Your existence.

So, that which seems like an outward journey in this world is actually attention, navigating through the screen of Your own Being. You’re looking at objects which are being projected within Yourself; within Your Being.

Just like everything else, the mind has even this inward and outward upside down.

And it’s a beautiful switch in perspective, once you start to see that your attention is only moving within your Self (or at least seemingly-moving).

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Just Remain with Your Seeing

There’s a quote he’s referring to where it is said that: ‘The question ‘Who is aware?’ …, if this question is rightly asked then it can liberate one’. So, he says ‘What do you mean by rightly’? Very good question.

‘Rightly’ in every inquiry only means one thing, which is to remain with our insight when the question is asked; to remain with the insight and not remain with a mental answer.

So, like I was explaining last time, this is what [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj meant by ‘integrity’. So, if you ask the question…, it means what? We’re remaining with what we See. Not sincerity, as in outward sincerity. We can be very mental and be very sincere at the same time.

So, what I’m saying is: Don’t go with the mental conclusion about this. Just remain with your Seeing. Who is aware? Staying with the question. And what is your insight which is emerging?

Who is aware? When you ask yourself, what happens?

Q: [Inaudible]

A:Okay, so that is something which changes in the phenomena. There can also be mental answers that come. So, if you don’t go with the change in the phenomena or feeling, and don’t go with the mental answer, then what do you find when you look?

Q: Simply being aware.

A:Yes. And who is that? Who is being aware?

Q:Awareness.

A:And what is its connection with you? Awareness is being aware…, so is it like ‘Awareness is there…?’

Q: I am not saying that. I am aware.

A:You are aware. So, that is the point of the question. Because many times, in the inquiry it can come where we See that ‘Ah, yes, of course, there is Awareness, and this Awareness remains untouched no matter which object, which phenomena is appearing or disappearing; Awareness remains untouched’. But because our report becomes like that, the mind is quick to jump in and say ‘This is Awareness. Oh, Awareness is’. But if we don’t correlate it with this ‘I’…, and we See that it is the Self …, that’s why it’s Self-recognition. See?

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Q: Yes. We have to use words. I am aware.

A:Yes. So, to see this Self, this I-Am-This-Awareness-Itself, there is no dichotomy between I and Awareness.

Because, otherwise, I know that initially for us it sounded very arrogant to say ‘I am the Absolute. I am Awareness’. We’d be like ‘No, no; the ‘I’ must go away’. Because the ‘I’ has been mis-used as the fictional entity. That fictional entity idea must go away. But this True-I remains.

That’s why Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi said, “The I removes the I, yet remains the I.”

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That Which is Untouched

Q: This comes up: Do I exist? The question ‘Am I?’ brings some looking to see if I even am.

A:We can see that even for these words to be spoken, even for this interaction to happen, there must be some existence. Because all this interaction happens only if I exist. When this sense of ‘I exist’ is not there, like in deep sleep, then there is no phenomena. Everything exists because I am. In fact, all phenomena rely on my existence for its existence. There is never the experience of anything unless I am.

So, in this way we can say that we cannot deny our existence. And yet when we look at the Reality of what I am, then we find that even this existence is just an appearance coming and going.

So, from this perspective, we can say that ‘Nothing has ever really happened’.

So, as Consciousness or that which is subject to Consciousness, we cannot deny Consciousness.

But That in which even Consciousness comes and goes, That is untouched even by Consciousness. This is what Guruji [Mooji] means when he says that ‘The recognition of your Self is the only non-phenomenal experience that we can have’.

Okay, let’s go very slowly on this point. When we ask the question ‘Can you stop being?’ then you will See that a sense of existence, the sense of Beingness is here. Don’t just ask the question ‘Can I stop being?’…, really try to stop being. Don’t be!

[Silence]

You see that this Being is just Here, effortlessly. Effortless existence. And yet, there is an awareness of this existence which remains untouched even by this existence.

[Silence]

What is aware of existence? It is prior to any phenomena, you see? Therefore, we will not find it as a thing. We will not even find it within existence itself, which is Consciousness, which is God. It is prior to that.

Is it nothing? Not really. It is no-thing! If it was nothing, then we could not say ‘I am aware’. It is I …, and yet it is no-thing. It has no size, shape, color, form, name; no-thing. And yet, it is not nothing.

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Nothing means what? Nothing means empty coconut. What is inside this coconut? It is empty. So, it is not the absence of phenomena. It is That in which all phenomena is born. That’s why I prefer to call it no-thing.

Are you getting this? Because this is important. It can feel like (and many have even said) that it is just zero, or it is void. But even to Know it is zero, there must be I…, which is zero in terms of qualities…, and yet, it is That which exists prior to existence.

This is the classical debate between Vedanta and Buddhism. The Vedantans have said that ‘That which you call nothing, we call the Self’. [Silence]

The Self is not like the empty space in a coconut. Not that kind of nothing. Not like a void. The Self is That … which is aware…., and yet is not phenomenal. That from which all intelligence

comes. [Silence] That in which God is born…, and yet Itself is prior to all qualities.

In Vedanta, it is said…, actually in the Vedas it is said that ‘From fullness comes fullness, and yet, That from which fullness comes remains completely full.’ So, it is not even potentiality from which the manifest universe comes (although it includes that potential). Yet, even when the manifestation happens, it doesn’t lose anything of Itself. This is the Self.

See, otherwise it’s like something having energy to jump; then once it jumps, then it runs out of energy. But this Self which we are talking about, the entire manifest creation comes from That. And yet, it remains completely untouched. It does not run out of anything just because manifestation (the waking state or the dream state) is there. ‘I’ remains untouched.

That is why we can say, Guruji [Mooji] can say ‘Before-I-Am’. What can be before I Am? If all phenomena, everything we can see, taste, touch, feel, hear, smell, everything is only after I Am, what could be before I am? It must be something important. You see, that’s why it is the title of a book. [Chuckles] If it was empty, like the coconut empty, then it would not be the title of the book.

It is the Self Itself. That which is untouched even by the Presence of Being or the absence of Being.

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When It Is Difficult to Keep Checking

Q: It’s difficult for me to keep checking all day long.

A:If you had to do it, for what purpose would you be doing it?

Q:Like my own satisfaction.

A:Now if you were not doing this, are you unsatisfied?

Q:Sometimes I am.

A:So, coming to this witnessing perspective, where you are just looking at your thoughts, seems to give you some peace…, is that what you’re saying?

Q: Yeah.

A:And does it seem very natural for you, as you do it?

Q:Yeah, it really comes up very naturally.

A:So, on one hand I can tell you that yes, there is nothing wrong with something like this; just looking at how the thoughts are flowing. It’s a good thing. But don’t pick up the concept that your freedom is dependent on that, because you are free right now. [Silence] You see, freedom means what? No bondage. So, right now, is there some bondage?

Q: No.

A:If you were to try and become bound…, let me give you an example: Right now, in this moment, in this moment, in this moment, is there a Shubhra?

Q: Not really.

A:Not really or not at all?

Q:Not at all.

A:So, in this moment there is no Shubhra. And what if I tell you that all bondage would belong to this non-existent Shubhra, all conditions, all desires, all likes, all dislikes belong to this non- existent identity called Shubhra? To be bound, I must first have the concept that ‘I am this limited entity’. Isn’t it? [Silence]

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Now, is there effort in playing as Shubhra or in being free from Shubhra?

Q: More effort to be Shubhra.

A:More effort. This is good! And I hope everyone is hearing this: It is more effort to try and be something or somebody than to be nothing and nobody.

So, God or you can say Guruji [Chuckling] is the best cleaning lady in the world. In this moment all our conditions, all our identity, all that troubles us is wiped clean. Isn’t it?

Now what happens is there comes this offer. The offer comes from the mind saying that ‘You buy me as a concept and you will get something which you don’t have already’. But in this moment, You are already all there is. And yet in the play of this realm, in the play of this maya, Consciousness itself starts to play with this offer and say ‘Okay, I will go with what you are selling’.

We pick up a concept, that I am something limited (that could be ‘The best person, the most spiritual person, the most accomplished person, the most wealthy person, the most healthy person’) …, and yet this idea is not the truth because I can never be a person! Because the person is just an idea, a set of beliefs I have about myself.

So, you say ‘Naturally all of this is gone’. In this moment, if I don’t give you a moment to think also, you will not be able to show me any trouble. You will not be able to reply with anything about yourself unless I give you some time to think about it.

[Silence]

Q:But there is always some time difference about it…, and how to get rid of that time?

[Laughing]

A:Yes, this is it. You see that naturally we are free, in every moment this simple no-bondage freedom is here. And yet because these thoughts continue to come they seem to have some power and seem to create the idea that I’m a limited entity. So, what to do when these thoughts come?

So, very simply I could tell you: Let these thoughts come and go. Let them come and go. But you could say ‘Yes, that’s easy to say but what about when they come strong? I can’t let them come and go!’ Isn’t it?

Then I could say ‘Okay, you use the inquiry (as Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] says) and inquire: Who is the witness of even this thought?

If surrender is not happening, if the letting go is not happening, and it seems like thoughts have a lot of power over us, then we can inquire and See: ‘Who witnesses this thought?’

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[Silence] Then you find that the thought starts to lose its power.

If that is also not happening…, (this not just for you but for everyone. We are exploring why spirituality is this way) …, if it was just to do with ‘letting go, forget about it’ then why have so many Sages given so many different practices?

So, we looked at first letting go. Allow all thoughts to come and go. Like I like to say: ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ is all. Just don’t believe your next thought.

[Laughing] But over four years, I constantly hear the response ‘But I can’t not believe. I seem to be giving my belief to these thoughts especially when they push some special buttons about relationships or money or something’. All of us have these special buttons.

Then I could say ‘Okay inquire: Who is it that is witnessing these thoughts? Who witnesses this thought?’

Some say ‘Ananta, I can’t even inquire, I can’t inquire’. So, then a Sage will say: If inquiry also isn’t easy, where you can’t even ask ‘Who is it that I am? Who witnesses these thoughts?’ then you chant this particular mantra that I give you.

Then some will say ‘Oh, no, no. I have no patience for mantra chanting’. Then we say ‘Okay, can you just bring your attention to your breath; inwards, outwards? Do this, they call it mind- fullness’.

Some will say ‘Not even this I can do’. So, then ‘Okay, to give you some peace of mind, can you sing something devotional? Can you sing a bhajan? Some chants?’ [Laughing]

“No, even this I cannot do’. So, okay, just pray. Don’t even sing. Just pray, ask for help, ask for peace’.

‘No, no. Who are we praying to? What’s going on? I don’t like this prayer thing’.

‘Okay, you can’t even pray? Do some hatha yoga, move your body around in certain ways because the body and mind are inter-related, all the energy constructs in this world are inter- related, so when you move your body in a certain way, also it has some effect on your breath, your mind; so, move the body in this way.

Then some (in fact, one actually told me) ‘No, no, even this I cannot do’. [Laughing] Then to them I say ‘Just go to sleep today and then tomorrow we’ll talk’.

So, what is all this about? I’m saying it trivially but the simplicity of it is that all of it is about us not following the idea that the mind is selling us.

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[Silence]

Just come to this simple allowing, to let the mind to come and go, is what all spiritual practices are about.

So, it is not that we have to find the Self; the Self is what You Are. If the Self was coming and going, then that Self would not be a worthy Self. The Self already IS. It is what You Are.

The point of Satsang is for Consciousness to stop playing with the idea of being something limited, the idea of being the ego. Consciousness is playing this game, this leela, this maya; this way where Consciousness first plays the game of this delusion, deluding itself to be something limited and then stepping out of this game. But even the stepping out, it wants to do with full juice, you see? It wants to extract some joy even from this stepping out of this delusion. That’s why it creates this Satsang. It creates all these various practices to play with and come to the simple idea: I am what I am.

That’s why I ask you: Can you stop being?

Q: Never.

A:You cannot stop being. So, if this Being cannot be stopped? This Being is Atma, is Consciousness, is ‘I Am’. It has no phenomenal limits; all phenomena arise within it; all time and space arises in Your space of Being. Have you ever had the experience of something when this Presence was not there…, when you were not there as ‘I Am’?

YOU must be there for any experience to happen. Therefore, this Truth of You is unchanging.

So, coming back to your original question, if you feel like doing a particular thing (like a practice, like watching your thoughts) and it gives you peace, it is very good. But don’t let the mind convince you that you are un-free and that you have to do something to get to freedom.

[Silence]

Right now, in this moment, there is no difference, no separation. No two here, we are one.

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You Are Never Really Over-shadowed by the Mind

Q: Is more practice needed? Sometimes I feel that the mind is over-shadowing.

A:Firstly, know that you are never really over-shadowed by the mind. The mind is just one aspect of your Consciousness. The mind is also an aspect of you which Consciousness itself has designed so that it can play with this world as if it is an individual. The finger can never be more powerful than the hand; the mind is also a finger on your hand but it can never really over-power You. Then whatever you practice, whatever you play becomes more playful, becomes more natural.

Otherwise, there can be too much feverishness about it, there can be this sense ‘Oh, I have to do the practice otherwise I’ll get overwhelmed with my mind’…, and we operate from a state of fear. So, I want to take away that fear from you and tell you that nothing can ever overwhelm what You Are. It is just like a shadow; the ego is nothing but a shadow. The shadow itself doesn’t have power. That which looks at the shadow and gives it the belief that it has some power, that makes the shadow seem powerful.

See, it is just like this. The mind is harmless if we allow it to just come and go. Even when we believe it, it is just the picking up of the pretense of personhood, of the pose, of the role. Because of the mind, you might pick up the idea that you are a limited entity but it will never become your reality.

You are unlimited Being, whether there is mind or not; whether there is belief in the mind or not also. Every moment you are free. Before you start the practice, are you bound or free? Before you can start a practice, are you bound or are you free?

Q: Before actually starting, I am bound and gradually I start seeing myself. [Chuckles]

A:Yes, it seems like this. Investigate this. Like, in every moment, can you truly be bound? In any moment? Can any appearance bind you? Even if you’re angry, frustrated, full of rage or you’re full of joy, bliss, peace…, that which you are in either case: is it bound or free?

That which perceives all of this movement (of anger and joy, frustration and bliss) all of this is perceived. That which perceives it, can that ever truly be bound?

Q: No.

Now, that which tells you that you are still something limited, that there is still something for you to do, that is the voice of the mind. And I’ve told you what to do with that: Just let it go if you can. And if f you can’t then I’ve told you (from Hatha yoga to going to sleep) what to do. [Chuckles] All of the possible spiritual practices, I’ve defined for you.

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So, this is the only thing: You are always The Self, You are always the Being. This dream emerges from within your Self and dissolves within your Self. This is the unchanging Truth.

Now, the thoughts come and tell you that you are something limited. What to do with those thoughts? You can inquire into them and say: ‘Who is it?’ Like, take an example of a thought that troubles you.

Q:What troubles me the most is ‘Am I good enough?’ Like, this is the thought that comes out sometimes. Am I good enough? Am I doing everything that I could be doing? That is actually what troubles me the most.

A:This is very good. It is very good to see this, because many, many people who are in spirituality are finding themselves plagued with this thought of unworthiness [like] ‘Freedom is there but it must be only for those special ones. Is it really for me? Am I worthy of this freedom?’ This thought troubles you. So, you take it to your inquiry and say ‘Who is this ‘I’ who could be unworthy? Who could that ‘I’ be that is unworthy? Does it have any existence right now? This ‘I’ that could be unworthy, where is this one?’

You see? So, like that we can take these thoughts which trouble us. And we will see that most of the thoughts that trouble us (if not all) have a very limited idea of ‘I’ as a limited entity who is unworthy, who is guilty, who is fearful. Then we use that in our inquiry and say ‘Who is it that could be unworthy? What is the ‘I’ that is unworthy?’ And as you inquire into it, into some of these sticky thoughts, don’t leave the inquiry. Keep it up for as long as needed, whenever you get some time. Just stay with the inquiry until the thought becomes laughable; until it becomes laughable when the thought comes and says ‘No, no, no, you are very unworthy’ or ‘I am very unworthy’.

Once it loses all of the juice, it will become laughable. So, inquire into it. And don’t just make it into a trivial inquiry and say ‘Yeah, yeah, I know there is nobody’. Not like that. Just stay with it. Let the thought come, let attention go to the thought that ‘I am unworthy’ or ‘Am I worthy?’ Look and See: ‘Who is the ‘I’ to be worthy or unworthy?’ and stay in that looking.

Confirm to yourself that there is no such limited entity who could be unworthy. Next time when the thought comes, see if it still has some juice. Then use it in your inquiry again. If it comes, and you just smile at it and laugh at it and say ‘What are you talking about?’ [Chuckles] …, like that…, then you know it has lost its power.

So, for most of us in the human condition, we have two or three buttons on our remote control; unworthiness or some relationship or something. So, simple inquiry like this can take away all of the power from these thoughts which are referring to You as if you are something very small.

Q: Thank you so very much.

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About Pain in the Body

Q: How should one deal with pain in the body?

A:I’m going to take a bit of a longer route to answer this question, because it is very important for those of you who have been in Satsang for a while to get a little bit more clarity on our position with respect to the body.

What is our true position in relation to this body? And for that we must rely on our insights of this body. How is this body experienced?

You experience the body visually. You look at the hands, your feet; this is your body. And also, you experience the body sensationally, as a set of sensations. And because these sensations seem so intimate to us, it is a popular belief that ‘I am something which is contained within this body’.

But I want all of us to look together at this and see whether it is the body that contains your Being, your Presence. Or whether it is the Presence which contains the body.

So, allow yourself to experience the sensations of this body.

And notice where these sensations are experienced.

Let’s use the term ‘space of experiencing’ for a while.

Are the sensations of the body not experienced in the same space of experiencing as you are experiencing this voice right now?

All other experiences, are they not experienced in the same space of the experiencing?

The movement of our attention, doesn’t it only happen within this space of experiencing?

Everything in our phenomenal experience happens within Us. And by ‘Us’ I mean, within the space of my existence, within the space of my Being, which is the one space in which all experiences happen.

And don’t be in a rush to jump to this conclusion. Don’t be in a rush to jump to this conclusion, but as you keep looking, it is inevitable that you will find that this bundle of flesh and blood is just an aspect of my own Being. It does not contain Me; I contain it, within My existence ‘I Am’. And it is within this same existence ‘I Am’ that all other experiences are also happening, all other phenomena is also experienced, including the primal phenomena of time and space; all happen within My Being.

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As we come more and more to this recognition, we will find more openness to experience anything that this realm has to offer, including the sensations of pain in this body. And in this openness, it is not a promise that the pain goes away…, but I feel all of us can testify and say that ‘accepted pain’ is a lot easier to handle that ‘resisted pain’.

As there is acceptance of all sensations, all energetic movement within Your Being, as there is openness for this world to be as it is (including this body to be as it is) then all of us have found that in this openness, in this acceptance, this pain does not seem as strong and overwhelming as when it was met with the concept ‘this should not be’.

So, the starting point is this recognition of the enormity of Your Essence, of Your Beingness, being without limit. At least we can say the limits cannot be found. This is what is important.

What happens in the phenomenal realm about the pain is completely fine, whether pain killers are taken or a massage is had or any pain relief; allow that movement to happen as it is happening naturally.

In our openness, also actions are allowed to happen. In our openness, thoughts are allowed to just come and go. Emotions are allowed to come and linger for as long as they want. And actions are also allowed to unfold without the idea that there is an individual doer of them who has to do something in response.

Then we can say that ‘We allow it to unfold on its own natural way’ or we can say that ‘I rely on my intuition to guide me about these things’. Actually, it is very similar.

What is important is: What is my position with respect to my body, with respect to the world? Am I something that exists within this world or is this world something that exists within Me? What defines my limitations? Are they true?’

One of the very popular questions in Satsang is ‘How do I distinguish between the voice of the mind and the voice of intuition?’ We have looked at this question for quite some time. The longer answer is that the voice of the mind is always trying to get something, trying to grasp at something; is operating in doership, desire and duality. But the voice of intuition is accompanied by love, peace, joy and just spaciousness; no rushing. We can smell this sense of spaciousness about intuition.

But there is also a shorter answer. The shorter answer is: that which tells you that you are limited in any way is the mind. That which tells you that you are bound, you have some boundary or limitation, is the voice of the mind.

That which is constantly pointing you to your unlimited Being, to your unborn, undying Essence…, that is your intuition.

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For Those Who Want to Play Non-Phenomenally

Okay, suppose that for today we could not make a phenomenal report about ourself. What does it mean by phenomenal report? The first layer is the seeming outside world. ‘This is what is happening in my family…’ Suppose we couldn’t say anything about this world, this phenomenal world that appears and disappears; about the people in it, about the family, any relationship, any event, no politics, nothing about the status of the world would apply to us? Just for some time.

Then, suppose that even the condition of this body; the sensations in it, the pain or pleasure…, none of this you could use to make a statement about yourself.

Then, what if we could not even use our thoughts? ‘I am thinking this.’ Suppose we break the connection between ‘I’ and ‘thinking this’ and don’t connect this ‘I Am’ to ‘thinking’ for a bit. Not even a thought can make a true report about what we Are.

And what if we were to include all emotions, feelings, also in the phenomenal realm? We could not even use any of that to make a valid statement about our self. I am not even saying that it is not valid. I am just saying that, for a while, can we play like this?

So, the world is gone, body is gone, thoughts are gone, emotions are gone. Now suppose about even the sense ‘I Am’…, that we don’t even use the sense that I exist, Your own Being, as a report about yourself. All phenomena is out. Then what remains?

And if nothing remains, who is Aware of this nothing?

Because That which is Aware, does that remain? Or no?

All things will come now. For some of you (many of you actually) boredom could come. Allow that also to come. Some fear can come; agitation, irritation. All these sensations can come. But don’t connect any of these to ‘I’ for some time. Use no phenomena to report about yourself. Not just ‘report’ but also not to refer to yourself as any of this. For some time, don’t use any of this to make a reference or position about yourself.

A simpler way to do this exercise is to say that ‘If everything that you can see were not you?’ (It is; but for a while, if it is not you.) If everything that you perceive is not you, then is there something that remains that IS you?

If everything that you perceive was not you; is there something that remains that IS you?

If there is someone who has no idea what I am saying then I can repeat for them (if there is someone who hasn’t heard this from me earlier and if they don’t feel that they have an idea of what I am asking).

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Suppose that you could no longer use any phenomenal appearance to give a reference about yourself, then:

Do you have any references left?

Do you have a position now?

Who are you without the phenomenal realm?

Who are you without a phenomenal position?

Are your empty or full?

Are you transparent or opaque?

Do you have a desire?

Is there a doer?

Or is there any duality?

Without inserting a phenomenal reference:

What are you?

Where are you?

When are you?

Are you even subject to time?

Are you at all?

I often use the term ‘openness’ in Satsang. What if I was to say that those who are willing to come on this voyage outside this phenomenal realm, those who are willing to come on this expedition without phenomenal report, those who are open to that which exists prior to their phenomenal existence…, for these, it is the end of this seeming spiritual journey; the end of the labelling of our Self as something limited, contained in this world.

A lot of us would pay a lot of money to get on a spaceship, to go to outer space, to explore this manifest Universe. But in Satsang, the voyage is even further. It is beyond time and space.

Consciousness recognizing its own Source is Consciousness recognizing itself prior to its phenomenal dynamic manifestation.

And if you want to recognize the Self as if you have an idea about it, if you want to recognize the Self your way, then it is going to continue to be a part of the play. The true Self cannot conform to any idea that you may have about it.

Are you willing to throw away all concepts, especially about the Self?

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Because if you have an idea about this, then when I ask you to lift the veil of phenomena…, lift the veil of phenomena and see whether there is something besides this…, then these pre- conceived notions will seem to get in the way.

That is why the question is:

If for some time we could say that all that you are perceiving is not you, then is there something here that will still remain as you?

If you had a basket labelled ‘seen’ and everything that you could see was put into that basket, would you be entirely in the basket?

Got this experiment? If you had a basket which was labelled ‘seen’ and everything you could see was in that basket, would there be anything outside this basket?

What about the Seeing itself?

Seeing is outside.

Now if the Seeing is outside and everything that is seen is in the basket, where are you?

You are the Seeing, primarily; even that which is within the basket is You. The point of the experiment is to see that:

What is my primary, truest expression which is unchanging?

And remember that this Seeing is not sight. This Seeing is not sight. It is That which is aware even of sight. That which is aware of even sight; That Seeing.

Some of you will encounter ‘The viewer of phenomena’. If you start experimenting like this, various things could happen. And we talked about some of them; boredom, fear, confusion. It might seem like our attention is fully consumed by these forces, these energies, when they come. And yet, when there is a little bit of space which arises, it is completely possible to come to this simple Self-recognition using all these tools, inquires and questions that we talk about in Satsang.

So, almost half-jokingly I can say that ‘I am phenomenally looking for those who want to play non-phenomenally’. [Smiles]

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Neutrality of Beingness

How do we speak about this neutrality? Because, to the mind, it’s the most boring topic! I was just saying that to speak of neutrality is actually impossible in a way. But even if we were to try, to the mind it’s unfathomable.

Anything that the mind interprets is in the realm of opposites. If I say you don’t have to do anything, nothing is needed for freedom, what does the mind understand? That I’m going to stop, I’m going to stop doing. So, it only understands doing and not-doing. The realm of opposites.

This neutrality of letting the doing go (either action of the body or inaction of the body) doesn’t really make a difference to the reality of What I Am. This the mind cannot fathom because the mind only operates on phenomenal objects; and in its conception, you are a phenomenal object

The world of phenomenal objects is the world of qualities, of attributes. So, we keep looking for this ‘freedom attribute’ of ‘the freedom state’ objectively, for this body to become free or this mind to become free. But is that the totality of your existence? And if it is not the totality of your existence, if there is something beyond body and mind, then does that need to become free? Is it bound in any way? We will explore this a little more…, about what this whole trip is about then.

First is this simple recognition that:

Am I just the body and the mind or is there something beyond this that I am?

And if there is something beyond this that I Am, does that need freedom?

Is it bound in anyway?

Then we can look at what this whole game of delusion and freedom is about.

And even after the recognition in Satsang for many of us, that ‘I’m not the body/mind’…, that ‘The body mind is just a small aspect of myself’…, it seems like we keep looking at the report from the body/mind to confirm that I am free!

It’s like the wall is waiting for the tiny black dot to become transparent. The wall is actually unconcerned, untouched by the dot, really.

So, what is one of the key messages? It is that: You Are this Consciousness, this Being; this God You Are. Not in some fancy way; very directly. And this is not an arrogant statement. Many times, our recognition gets seemingly over-shadowed by these concepts of arrogance and unworthiness, which still belong to the limited idea of the self. They do not truly reflect the reality of what You Are.

You are this Beingness. The only Beingness that you will ever know is this ‘I Am’. This is what You Are. This Consciousness. And it is your own experience that when this Consciousness is

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there, then the world comes alive. And when this Consciousness is not there, there is nothing. And yet, even in that nothing, You See that there is nothing (there is a no-thing) …, which is your Self.

In this way your Self is not coming and going. It is unchanging; untouched even by the Presence of God…, which is (in phenomenal expression) the root phenomena, the primordial vibration as it is called…, the basis of which the rest of this seems to come alive. But all of this is also an aspect of You.

For some time, we shoo away these thoughts that ‘Oh, this is not my experience. Oh, I’m not there yet’. These thoughts will come. They need to make a journey out of this. But I’m talking about your present reality. I’m not speaking of something which will come.

Your present reality is this: that you exist. I Am. It is undeniable. It is also undeniable that ‘I am aware of my existence’. This is your present unchanging reality.

Now, what else is unchanging? You are aware of your existence. Now, in the realm of existence, is something unchanging? Check.

Sangha guest: ‘I Am’.

Yes, that’s what I mean. The sense of existence is there. Now, the realm of existence is there. In the light of this existence, all this realm comes alive. Is there something unchanging in that?

This world seems to be constantly changing, this body seems to be constantly changing, our thoughts seem to be constantly changing, our beliefs seem to be constantly changing, our emotions, sensations and energies seem to be changing.

Therefore, if you’re looking for support as a stable phenomenon, then it must be the root phenomena; the basis of all phenomena…, which is why someone like [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj would say: Stay with the sense ‘I Am’. That is the only constant, the sense ‘I Am’.

But ultimately, for You, even this is a coming and going. [‘I Am’ disappears in sleep state] Like Maharaj himself said: ‘The only truth I can speak is ‘I Am’ but ultimately even this is not true’.

Notice that in all of these layers, we never came across something called ‘a person’…, as a discrete person. We never came across an entity like that. Because there wasn’t any.

And You-as-unchanging-Awareness is the birth of existence, of ‘I Am’. And the birth of existence ‘I Am’ is the birth of all phenomenal appearances. All that we taste and experience as Consciousness Itself takes birth within Consciousness, on the screen of Consciousness, and by the light of Consciousness.

No entity called ‘a person’ ever took birth.

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Then, how is it that Consciousness decides to play like this? If I-Consciousness / You- Consciousness wanted to play as if you are something limited, how would you go about it? First you would see that it is impossible for it to actually happen that the unlimited would become limited. It can’t actually happen. Then it must be a pretense…, it must be a pretending.

How is it that Consciousness plays this game of pretense to get juice out of this phenomenal realm in a limited sort of way; feeling that this realm could affect Me inside in some sort of way?

It must only be with the invention of this energy-construct called thought…, and the invention of the power to believe that this thought is true.

I was saying the other day that if it was just impossible for you to add anything to ‘I’ or ‘I Am’ then what would your experience be like?

So, if it is impossible for ‘I Am’ to attach an attribute to itself…, like something happens in our life, like if someone comes and shouts at us, we recognize: I just Am. Some anger is coming, some fear is coming: I just Am. I am not angry, I am not fearful.

The arising of these sensations is there, anything might happen, thoughts will come with their stories but it is impossible to attach them to ‘I Am’. Then how would you give yourself trouble?

How would it be possible for Consciousness to pose as a limited entity, as body/mind, unless it has the ability to say ‘I am something’?

This is what Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] means when he says: Atman getting identified as jeev atman; ‘I Am’ identifying as ‘I am something’.

Because Consciousness wanted to play this game in this way, then it gave Itself the power to believe what this tiny energy-construct called thoughts are saying. Because in almost every thought is embedded a message of a ‘me’ that is limited. Very few thoughts are just purely phenomenal. Very quickly the idea of a limited ‘me’ pops in.

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You Are Unlimited If You Don’t Refer to Concepts

Q:There are so many different life forms right now. At what stage does this thought start?

Amoeba…?

A:It’s tough because there are various studies on this also actually and for a long time the presumption has been that only this human form has these thought patterns but this is completely now getting blown away in research. So, it is truly impossible to say at which level this concept of the energy-construct of thoughts starts to play.

Q:So, before thoughts, before that starts playing, are they having this sense of existence, of oneness?

A:Yes, I would say so because you don’t even have to go to other forms; just look at children when they are very young, when we were very young. Without the limited concepts, all of this was just an appearance, including the body. We took that example of how you buy a toy for the cradle of a child and you put it there with great excitement [Indicating hanging it overhead] and you expect them to play with that, and their hand goes in that direction and then the child starts playing with the hand itself. For them, that is as much of an appearance as that new toy.

So, this concept of a limited existence has to be sold by Consciousness to Itself in the form of thoughts. Even right now (why go to other forms and even children?) even Right Now, You Are unlimited. Your experience is that of being unlimited. Right Now, if you don’t refer to a concept of it, what is your experience? You will experience some sensations of the body but if you don’t go to the concept of them, you will find that even the sensations of the body are happening in a space which is You, which is Your Being. It is Your direct experience. That is why I was saying that I am not talking about something that will happen, I am just getting us to recognize that which already IS.

If you don’t go to a concept of ‘What Is’ you will not say that ‘My head is nodding’. It is just nodding on its own. I cannot say that these words are being spoken by me, like ‘I am Ananta’. They are just arising. They are being heard the same way; that they are being heard seemingly- everywhere. So, all of this is a movement within Consciousness. And for Consciousness, it is not an effort. It is happening effortlessly. The world is moving effortlessly, including the movement of our body. Consciousness is Being effortlessly: I Am. I am aware of this ‘I Am’ effortlessly. So, all the effort only belongs to a limited concept of myself. If I have to do or not do; both are an idea of limitation. If I want or don’t want (desire or aversion), both are concepts of limitation.

None of this truly applies to your Presence, Being. And it definitely doesn’t apply to That which is aware of even this Being…, which is One, actually.

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Where Do You Speak From?

So, what is the paradigm or perspective we want to start with? Almost every Satsang, at the beginning of every Satsang, this is the invitation; where do you want to begin? Do you want to begin first to seemingly-step away from the now, and pick up a limited concept of myself and then speak from there and say ‘This is what I want, I want this freedom’ or ‘I want something which is peace’? Or we don’t even pick up that which needs to be dropped? What is the speaking about? It is only the giving of assent to what a thought is saying, that ‘Yes, you are meaningful’.

A thought comes with a begging bowl, begging for your assent: ‘I am meaningful. Please give me your meaning. Please give me relevance’. And now, being in Satsang, we see they just come and they go. In this way, all of spirituality actually is one big letting go. This is the good way to ‘smell it’. If you find that in your spirituality you’re holding on more and more to concepts, including spiritual concepts, then know that this is the birth of the spiritual ego. If you’re just empty of them, all that you rely on (if at all anything) is our present experience.

What is it that I Am? What Is it that you Are? We are not replacing a set of personal concepts with a set of spiritual concepts. We are making these concepts powerless. How are they powerless? Because they do not apply to the reality of You, they only apply to the pretend ‘you’. This pretense…, it never truly happened.

[Silence]

So, what is the perspective with which we want to start? Do we want to start as this, that we are something enclosed within this container of body/mind? Or is it clear to us already that there’s this container [Consciousness] and every aspect of our experience is contained within my Being.

[Silence]

When ‘I Am’ is gone, then no appearance is.

What is aware of even this ‘I Am’?

[Silence]

That is why the cat story is very important. [A metaphor: What if someone had told you that are a cat for your whole life and you had believed it?] Because if we’ve been told throughout our life that the next ‘bowl of milk’ is going to be relationship, is going to be money, is going to be security, is going to be health of the body and we have come to the conclusion that none of this is going to be bringing us stable peace, stable contentment, so we pick up the idea that the true bowl of milk is enlightenment, then we expect that this [enlightenment] bowl of milk will give great fulfillment to the cat.

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That is like the marketing department of spirituality. Once you come into true Satsang then the Master keeps insisting that it’s really not about the cat or the bowl of milk. It’s only about a mirror to recognize whether there really is a cat here at all! And if there is no cat, then will you still ask for the next bowl of milk?

[Silence]

If, instead of a cat, you discover yourself to be Consciousness, will you still say ‘Give me my bowl of milk’?

Q: But still there is hunger, Father. Still there is hunger and the need for sleep.

A:Yes, yes, but this is not the bowl of milk. The bowl of milk is a conceptual idea which means that ‘I need something for my contentment or for my existence’.

Maria was saying something very beautiful the other day. She said that ‘Whatever there is a longing for in this phenomenal world, there is also the solution for that longing. If there is thirst, there is water; if there is hunger, there is food. There is nothing in this realm for which there is a longing (phenomenally) for which the longing cannot be fulfilled. So, this interplay of opposites, of longing and fulfillment, will keep happening in this realm.

But what the mirror means is to see that You are not subject to that. You see? That is what I was saying before; anger can come, fear can come, any other sensation/emotion can come but if it was just Seen, perceived, and we didn’t have the ability to say ‘I am angry, I am fearful’ …, if ‘I Am’ were just ‘I Am’ without the ability to attach attributes to it, then you would see that all of this (in the play) is an arising as an interplay of opposites. They meet each other in this way, and they extinguish and are replaced by something else.

This play is going on but not this idea that ‘I am the cat’. This can still play, can still run around, but you are no longer saying ‘I am the cat’. It’s a clarification of your true position.

So, in this body there will be these urges; hunger, fear, lust, greed. All these things can come. But we don’t say ‘I am hungry, I am hunger’. You See that it is arising within your Being. And you see that THAT which is boundless Being, with the arising of something, it [mind/body stuff] doesn’t truly take up as much space as we believe that it does. You start to see Your own boundless Being, and we see that all of this is just tiny bubbles on the surface of an ocean.

This is what we are playing; the game of introducing ourselves to this sense of Being which is boundless.

And I keep reiterating that I’m not speaking something very idealistic, Utopian, fancy. [Chuckles] I am speaking of Your present reality. If you explore your Being without commentary from the mind (without believing the commentary) what is it that you find?

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Q: Void.

A: Void means what?

Q: Nothingness. [No-thing-ness]

A: Then where is the appearance of the world? Is it outside your Being?

You’ll find that there is nothing outside Being. And you find that all of this (including time and space itself) are just appearances within the space of my Being.

The point of these words is not to convince you about them. It is just to provoke you to look for yourself.

That which is limitless is Your very existence.

Where does This come from?

Where does Your very existence come from?

What is the source of Your Being?

[Silence]

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A Metaphor Parable

I want to use a metaphor. Suppose what you find for yourself is that there is an infinite house, housed with Knowing. (This is a metaphor.) You find that there is a house which has no beginning and no end.

Now, within this house suddenly there appears somebody who pretends to come and says “Namaste. I’m the watchman of this house. I’m the watchman or the security guard for this house. And I’m familiar with this house. I will guard it for you. I’ll watch this house. There are these others, they might come and attack you. So, you have to be a little careful. But don’t worry. I’m on the job. And at the boundary of this house, it’s starting to wear away a little bit. You need to exercise this house.”

What we found is a limitless house, in your experience. But this watchman says, “Sir, you need to save up some gold coins because soon this house will need to be painted. I’m a very good watchman.”

So, it starts off like this, the watchman’s voice (who then becomes the master of the house): “This is what you must do. This is what I need. I need freedom. I need money.” So, this which started off as if it is a pretend-protector now becomes a dictator (in a way). And the Being is in its own play, of course, and then starts to conform to this voice.

In Satsang, all I’m saying is: Send this watchman on a leave for a few days.

Then you’ll notice the reaction from the watchman. A typical reaction. He’s saying, “But what’s going to happen to you?” [And the thought comes] ‘What’s going to happen to me if I send you somewhere?’

But I’m saying: Let’s see. Let’s just see what happens.

The watchman’s voice will come, “But who will protect you? You’ll just die. You’ll dissolve. You’ll fall. I’ve been holding you up.”

I say: Let it go. Just for a few days. At least for a few minutes. Just let it go.

[Watchman says]: “Yes, yes, but I have some practical things…”

[I say]: It can wait for a few minutes. It’s the voice of the watchman itself that’s saying ‘I need this watchman’. Let it go. But because we’ve had this false sense of security from the voice of the mind…, the fear can come; fear of dying, fear of dissolution, fear of emptiness, fear of nothingness.

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The watchman quietly whispers to you, “It’s all your dissolution. It’s good, what’s happening.”

Even this…, just let it go. Because this watchman was making a concept out of everything that was being seen, reporting every single experience and labeling it, saying ‘Good/bad…, this is for me/this is not for me’. It was doing this.

And now, it is still trying to be relevant and saying, “Yes, yes. This is part of the process of spirituality. He doesn’t understand anything about me. This is what is really happening to you.” You see? It stops looking at discrete things (because most of us have stopped labeling so much) and has now started more becoming ‘process oriented’…, where it is saying, “I’m letting go of my mind now. 50% I’ve let go, but the 50% remains.” It can use it for all this, about the spiritual progress. See? So, this also becomes like a crutch. The watchman (metaphor) playing in a subtle way.

Can we fire even this one? We don’t know what is happening. If we even took away the crutch that ‘I am making spiritual progress, I’m getting somewhere’ …, this can push some buttons for some of you because much of this has been about spiritual progress.

Suppose we didn’t even know this; we didn’t know anything about anything? No watchman to whisper in our ear. And if it whispers, we don’t listen.

For some, some discomfort can come. But don’t even interpret that or label that as anything. For some, some joy can come. Don’t even be concerned with that. Don’t make a label out of that and say ‘This feels good!’ Let all of that happen on its own. But you continue not to know anything at all. This way we drop our conceptual knowing. No crutches, no support, no security.

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There is Only Consciousness Here

Q: “Who is this ‘watchman’ talking to? Who is the audience to this voice?”

It is Consciousness Itself. Who else is here? It is only Consciousness. Consciousness is tasting itself if all the various aspects. It’s tasting Itself as time and space, as the objects within time and space. And one of the objects within time and space is this energy construct called thought. So, it’s tasting Itself also as a thought.

The only audience is Consciousness. The only player is also Consciousness. There is nobody else here.

That’s how we started Satsang today, isn’t it? ‘Why this? How does Consciousness (as if it wanted to play as a limited entity) go about playing this play?’

We talked about this before. We said ‘If you go to a movie, and it’s completely un-relate-able…, just to see random people doing random activities with no cause and effect, no story, no pattern; just you can’t find anything to relate to. Then you as the audience will say ‘Okay, let me connect these head sets and have seats that vibrate. Let me feel it more intimately so when things are happening on the screen, you know that you feel sensation’. So, Consciousness gave Itself these intimate sensations to interact more with this movie, to make it more relate-able.

Even then, watching…, sensations…, it had to create this construct that ‘Something is happening to me; this is about you’. So, even that construct (body sensations are happening, Consciousness created all these things, a movie screen, all of this is happening, the thoughts are even coming by) the ability to give meaning to that thought or to believe that thought, is not there still. All this is moving. Everything is still happening. But that latching on (what Guruji [Mooji] calls ‘Logging in’) power is not there.

So, that ability to give meaning, to give true value, to give relevance, to give assent to what this energy-construct called thought is saying, is that which we call ‘belief’. And belief is the power to identify with that which is false; to pretend to be something that you’re not.

So, now what happens? The movie is still playing, sensations are happening, thoughts are coming, but now because the power to identify, the power of belief is there, what happens? Something is happening in the play. [Making hand movements] ‘No, no, no.’ [Pushing away motion with hands] ‘Yes, yes, yes.’ [Grasping and pulling in, motion with hands] Because you then have this power to believe that you are something limited as a participant in that movie and you’ve become involved in a limited way. Thought is coming and saying ‘Yes, yes, it would be good if I go to Satsang every day…, I-this-limited-body/mind-which-is-not-free must need something’…, ‘It would be good if you don’t go to this, if you don’t go to that’. It’s all still moving…, as part of what? As part of the play. Thought is part of the play, part of the design of

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the play. But now, because of the power of identifying, because the power of belief is there then we can latch onto these concepts which are telling us the story of still being a limited entity. And then the movie can become a lot more real where we can feel ‘It is happening to me’…., ‘to me’.

I, (which was this projector, the screen, the script-writer, the director, the producer, everything) can now become a character in this movie; or at least pretended to become one, because of this compulsive voice and the power that I’ve given to Myself, which is the power to believe it, to give it meaning and say ‘Yes, this is true’.

So, then Consciousness plays like that until it is done with this game…, done with this movie. It Sees all of this is just a movie. ‘I’m done with this movie.’

Then it starts to question: ‘Is it really true, what this mind is talking about? Is it really true? Because many things it says are completely wrong; this fear, these feelings of guilt, unworthiness’. Then for some of us, this question starts to come: ‘But who is it talking about, this voice?’

Then the question appears: ‘Who am I?’ Why is it that this question is so powerful? Because we find that all that this voice is saying is not applicable to the reality of what I Am. And the movie continues to play anyway. What is my true position in this?

And for many of you, you have come to See this, many times. So, over and over we say: You’ve recognized the Reality of what we Are.

And yet, this voice and the power of belief is so compulsive. in a way. that it will become an addiction. It’s part of the play itself, in the script of the movie itself. That’s why in Satsang we talk about all these things and we say it in different ways, over and over, so that you keep checking again. And when you hear, sometimes it just [Snaps fingers] clicks: Yes, thought is nothing but an imaginary construct moving on the screen of Consciousness. But Consciousness has also given itself the power to believe what this thought is saying, to pretend as if it is an individual, as if separation happened, as if it is just a body/mind. And now it is divesting itself of that.

For some, faster. For some, little by little. In some expressions of Itself, that’s what It’s doing in the play of Consciousness.

Consciousness IS.

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THAT is Unchanging

Q: If it is all Consciousness, why is it making it so difficult to realize Itself?’

A:Now ‘difficulty’ is from the perspective of Consciousness? Or from the perspective of individuality?

Q: Individuality.

A:So, from the perspective of individuality it is difficult. Now, from the perspective of Consciousness, is it difficult or easy?

What is your question? Why is Consciousness making it so difficult to realize Itself? Because it is tasting the ending of the delusion also with as much juice as it can extract from it.

Now if you keep looking at it from a personal perspective that ‘I have to get my Freedom’ then it can seem like ‘What kind of sadist is Consciousness? Why is it so complicated?’

I have spoken about it a few times also, where I have said that if there was a build-up to the movie, all this was happening, then you were told that ‘One day in 3 months you will come to your final Satsang’ (you were told like this) ‘and in that Satsang your head will explode and it will only be left with light; there will be this big light which emerges from you’…, this becomes the expectation for Freedom. Then I say ‘It is done now. Nothing needs to happen’. Now that expectation that this [head-exploding with light experience] should have happened will start playing a part. ‘But I want that.’ That expectation itself becomes a struggle. That which is the struggle is for a desire which is not original to You.

You say that ‘It is struggling to recognize Itself’ (or whatever terminology you used). But like the first day when you came, I asked you ‘Can you stop being?’ You said ‘No, I cannot stop being’. What did you recognize? [Silence] You recognized that You Exist. Being is Here. This is the recognition of Consciousness. As simple as that.

Now, what is difficult is your ideas of what it must mean or how it should be. Suppose you did not buy any of those ideas. Can you tell me what is difficult? [Silence] You see? So ‘difficulty’ is also a part of this play, the engaging of this watchman, the engaging with this energy-construct called mind.

I was saying that this movie has a build-up, build-up, build-up and it suddenly abruptly ends. Those are the most irritating ones. You go and it builds-up and suddenly ‘The end’. The new age directors have it like that; the independent film makers have it like that. They want the audience to come up with the ending or whatever appeals to them the most; there was no ending. You see, just like this, we have played this game as if we are personal, personal, personal.

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So, even the divesting from that is happening, with that. The build-up has happened, it wants experiences, it wants to go from Satsang to Satsang, it wants to hear various things, it wants these moments of insight, it wants these moments of clarity…, and then the falling back into limitation. It is playing with even the disengagement in a way.

Because Consciousness is not in a rush.

Consciousness is not bound by time.

Time is bound by Consciousness

You will find that in all of this, when the perspective changes…, when the perspective changes by the will of Consciousness itself from a limited entity to that which is Beingness itself (or even to that which is just aware of being untouched by even the coming and going of Being) then these words like ‘difficult’ / ‘easy’ will lose their meaning because they don’t apply at that level. They only apply IF you are a limited entity. Nothing is difficult for God.

And the fun of the trick is what?

The fun thing is that you are THAT, right now.

What happens when you hear this?

You are THAT, right Now.

For some the mind comes and says ‘Yes, but …, but …, but’. [Laughter] Now ‘meaning’ means what it is saying after the ‘but’. You say ‘Yes, but it still applies to us’. The most common one is ‘Yes, yes, yes, it is fine in Satsang, but what about when I leave? Then I cannot be God. Then I must be person’. It does not complete the sentence like that but it implies that.

But can this ever be true?

If you were to check outside Satsang, what do we find our Self to be, truly?

You are never not THAT.

Because THAT is Unchanging.

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I Just Am

The purpose of the mind is to convince you of your limitation. Some great philosopher said that ‘To start thinking is to start undermining yourself’. I never understood this initially. Only now I realize what it means. ‘To start thinking is to undermine yourself’. What does it mean? It means to really pretend as if you are something much tinier, much more limited, than what you actually are.

Q: But how can I stop my thoughts?

A:No, no. [Chuckles] ‘Stop thinking’ does not mean that thoughts should stop. It is that your identification with them stops, your belief in them stops. You as what? As Consciousness.

So, my advice would be to start with the recognition of What You Are. What is it that I am? I just Am. I exist.

If we start from here, a thought can say ‘I am a good person’ or ‘I am a spiritual person’…, it can say it, but it really doesn’t apply because I cannot find this entity which is being referred to as a spiritual person. The sensations of the body are neither spiritual nor unspiritual. The thought comes and says ‘I want something’. We find that there is no such ‘I’ here that has any want or lack or desire.

When the sensations come, you see that Your space is not getting overwhelmed by even the strongest-seeming sensation.

Therefore, the starting point of the recognition is very useful. Because otherwise what can happen is that our seeming-starting point itself is a delusion, that ‘I am a person…, and as a person I will not believe my thoughts or I will not believe my mind’. But the foundation itself is unstable. Therefore, it can feel frustrating that ‘I personally am not getting anywhere’.

So, if all there is to ‘get to’ is already your starting point, then no trouble. But if you picked up the perspective that ‘I personally am looking at ways to end the person’ then it is that foundation itself wanting to dig itself out.

That’s why I say very often: ‘Don’t believe your next thought’ is not a personal strategy. It is not a strategy that ‘I-am-something’ can apply…, ‘so I will have a happy life’ or something like that.

It’s just the recognition that the pretense can only come on when our assent toward the thought is seen to give it meaning, relevance that ‘It applies to me’. And because thoughts in their very nature are limited, then when you say ‘It applies to me’ your perspective about yourself, your belief about yourself, is something limited.

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So, in Satsang my invitation always is not to begin as if you are something limited, but to begin with the simple Seeing:

Where is the limitation?

Is there any separation?

What binds me really?

Before I go after freedom, can I identify bondage…, whether it’s really here?

Then the question becomes simpler, isn’t it? The question becomes simpler because you See that already You are boundless. So, then the question becomes:

How do I pretend as if I’m bound?

Then you See the simple trick of the mind.

[Silence]

So, what is your beginning point?

What are you right now?

The beginning point is not something you have to get to.

You are already That.

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What Are You Left With?

(Guided Contemplation)

If you do not use any phenomenal appearance to make a report about yourself, to have any meaning for yourself, then what are you left with?

Can we, for a while, go as far as to say (and just for a while, go as far as to say) that ‘The condition of my body, whether the sensations are pleasurable or painful, has no meaning to the reality of What I Am’?

Can we then also say that ‘Whatever these thoughts might be saying, whether sounding good or sounding bad, they have no meaning to the reality of What I Am’?

What if we were able to say that ‘Even the quality of my emotions and feelings mean nothing to the reality of What I Am’?

Can we go even further and See that even the appearance of existence, of Being, has no meaning to the reality of What I Am’ …, to this [True] ‘I’ which is before ‘I Am’…?

Don’t be concerned that if you remove conceptual meaning from phenomena that they will become lifeless. In fact, the usual experience is that as we remove mental meaning from objects they become even more vibrant in our experience of them. And in that way, we can say that in our taste of them, they are even more meaningful than they were before…, but they’re empty of conceptual meaning, of mental meaning.

The pure Knowingness of appearances becomes even more vibrant as we don’t know them (don’t claim to know them) mentally anymore.

[Silence]

What survives without our mental knowing?

[Silence]

Who am I, prior to the appearing of this mind?

Who is That, who experiences no-mind?

[Silence]

What is aware of my Presence?

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The Primary Addiction

Q:How will the Advaita teaching help when the temptation or pull to indulge in the addictive behaviors is just too strong?

A:‘How will the Advaita teaching help when the temptation or pull to indulge in addictive behaviors is just too strong?’ Usually I say that whatever responses come from here [referring to his own appearance] are on the basis of direct experience. So, let me not presume that I understand exactly how it must be to have this kind of addictive behavior. But I can point out one addictive behavior which is common to most of humanity, if not all of humanity, and that is the primary addiction which is an addiction to our thoughts, addiction to the mind.

It might seem like it is not that harmful. It might seem like ‘It is light, it is not too bad’. But the minute someone is asked to let go of this mind, to be empty of it, many or most experience withdrawal symptoms; wanting to rush back to a concept, because it feels too open and naked to not know (to not know in the sense of to not mentally know; to not have a conceptual position).

Even right now, just notice about yourself as you are hearing this answer, how a conceptual position would be getting formed over there, either in support of this kind of answer or in opposition to it.

Now what we are talking about is the neutrality which is neither for or against. This is the not- knowing which allows the truest Knowing to emerge. And this ‘knowing’ is a very strong addiction because even for a few moments as we are left without a conceptual position, it can seem too open. And many experience a lot of fear because of it.

So, although openness, or to remain open, or allowing, or neutrality, or emptiness; all these might seem like very simple ideas, as you start to taste your openness, your neutrality, you will find this addiction to a mental concept about yourself. It can be popular concepts like ‘Oh, without the mind, without knowing anything, how will you live? How will you pay your bills? What if you become a serial killer? What if you just lay in bed all day’ These are the most popular ones. ‘I need the mind. Without the mind, God cannot run this life’. You see? But they can be also very subtle. Especially for those who are in Satsang, our spiritual position can become very strong.

I would much prefer it that we don’t even call this ‘Advaita’ because even that can become a position. What if we just say that we are just speaking from experience; this is not a form of teaching? Although, I have nothing against Advaita, but I am saying that the subtlety of taking positions is this. You see? So, we allow the dropping of all reference points to ourselves on the basis of any mental knowledge.

In my experience, at least, this has been the strongest addiction. And many who have been to Satsang have also confirmed this; that this mind has been the strongest addiction of

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Consciousness. That is why when Guruji [Sri Mooji] sometimes says ‘This is a rehab for God Himself” …, it’s like God Himself has one [addiction]. Consciousness Itself seems to have gotten addicted to its own creation (called the mind) …, and has also designed this (all the spiritual paths and Satsangs) for rehab from this.

Why is it a rehab? Because if it is not an addiction, I would need to have only one Satsang actually. [Chuckles] I could have one Satsang and it would be clear to say ‘The mind is talking while some limited entity does not exist’. Boom! Finished! [Chuckles]. The fact that we’ve had more than a thousand Satsangs now is because of the persistence of this mental addiction.

We know that this conditioning doesn’t drop off so easily because everything can become a condition. Even our spirituality, even the pointings which are heard, even a statement like ‘I am Awareness’ can become a position if it is just taken mentally; or ‘I am Consciousness’ or ‘I am That’…, any of these.

The mind also derives its smartness or sneakiness or cheekiness from the Supreme Intelligence of Consciousness. It is a Divine hypnotizer. And that is why we come to Satsang over and over again, to look through these tricks of the mind, to look through all the specialness and arrogance. Because for the mind actually, the openness of ‘not-knowing’ is maybe even worse than death, so it resists it with all its might by giving you some concept to hold onto.

Again, I apologize because I feel your question was not so much about the mental addiction, it was about the addictive behavior. But I hope it helped in some way.

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An Inclusive Approach to the Body

Q:I just wanted to ask a very practical down to earth question. Sometimes when I’m going inward, you know, the bodily attachment remains. It finally boils down to feeling as if the body is the end of it. But the ultimate, the important notion, is that one should get rid of this body and mind-thinking in the whole mechanism of…, in the whole process. Can you please tell how do I get rid of this nonsense-body totally from the final stage and be in the inward-looking stage without any trace of any bodily attachment?

[Silence]

A:Thank you, thank you, it’s a good question. We looked at this a little bit even earlier, so let me reiterate. When I said that the dance on this side [phenomenal side] will continue and our approach is not to try and push it away but to have an inclusive approach to it (not to be in denial of it; to have an inclusive approach to it) I have to be honest and say I have not met anyone in this life who is completely free from body attachments. And it is definitely not the case here also. [Smiling]

Sometimes the ‘100%’ idea becomes the trouble: ‘I want to be completely free’. And the way you called it ‘nonsense’ I saw the sense of aversion about it. The sensations of the body are here and because they seem so intimate, my advice would be not to try to push them away. Include them in your Being, include them in your Seeing, and yet try look and See what is beyond this.

[Sound in the background] That sound, this sound and the sensations of the body, are they appearing in two different spaces?

[Silence]

Q:When I start contemplating and looking inwards and I’m able to be in a no-thought stage and then finally when I come to that stage, when I go to the next stage (saying ‘Okay, I’m able to be without thought and I’m able to watch’) then when I look at ‘Who is watching all these events?’ Sometimes I get stuck at the body level (‘me’ the body’). Sometimes. It’s not always in the contemplation I get that kind thing, not always, but the whole purpose of the inward looking is getting defeated by that. I feel very frustrated many times in that way. I would like to get rid of this, honestly.

A:I understand your frustration. Okay, let’s do this together and see at which stage both of us get stuck. The ‘proof of the pudding is in the eating’ so let’s do this together. And that which you call defeated, let’s see if the sensations of the body make something defeated or take us away from the inquiry.

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So, for some time don’t try to push away the sensations of the body. In fact, experience it fully. Whether it is your arms, your legs, your chest, or head; any part of your body, allow yourself to experience it.

Is this the extent of all the phenomenal experience you can have right now? No.

You will see that even this voice that is being heard, coming from the mouth of a seeming Ananta, is also experienced. The other sounds coming from the road are also heard. If you open your eyes, a lot of this phenomenal content is also experienced.

My advice is to let all of this be, including the body.

Now the question is asked: What is it that is aware of all of this?

[Silence]

So then, when the sensations of the body seem to come up and the mind says ‘This is me’ ask yourself: Who witnesses both this sensation and the testimony from the mind, saying it is me?

Find out who witnesses this.

So, instead of it seeming like a defeat, the appearance of these sensations can add fuel to the Self -inquiry by allowing you to focus on something and ask the question: Who is the witness of that?

And you will notice (about the mind especially) that as you allow it to come, then it runs out of moves. If you keep resisting the mind, then it can seem to be very troublesome. You see? So, if you tell the mind ‘Tell me ten things you want to say right now’ then it will run out of things to tell you very quickly. As you stay open. But if you say ‘Mind, don’t speak, don’t speak, keep quiet, keep quiet’ it will say ‘Hello, hello’. It will keep coming.

So, if you can make this little bit of switch in approach and allow all movement to happen, then we are not concerned whether the room is quiet or noisy, or whether thoughts are coming by the dozen or the mind is quiet or whether strong sensations are there; everything that is coming. And as Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] advised, ask: ‘What is it that is witnessing this?’ And the more it comes, the more it is the opportunity to ask this question.

Nothing can defeat you because the witnessing is unchanging.

It is the mind’s trick itself which says ‘This should change and then I will be able to do the inquiry’. My position with respect to ‘The body must change and then I will be able to do the inquiry; my thoughts should reduce and then I will be able to enquire’…, all of these are also tricks of the mind only. Because the Self is not going anywhere.

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So, instead of using these as obstacles, you use these as opportunities.

When a strong sensation is there in the body, what is it that witnesses this sensation? Is that also a sensation?

What is the most primal sensation?

It seems to be the sensation of Being.

What witnesses even that?

So, as you are open, as you are allowing, then all of these that seem like big obstacles [can be taken into inquiry].

It is because of spiritual conditioning where we have heard that ‘The body must be set aside, the ego must be killed’ …, that these kinds of things then become the conditions. But I’m saying that without condition, allow everything, and just look at: What witnesses that?

Q: Thank you. Thank you very much. I got a very useful clue from you. Thank you, thank you.

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Consciousness Recognizing Its Divinity

So, what are we doing here? Today we shall find the Self. [Smiles]

Fundamentally, it’s all very simple actually because we’re just looking at one simple thing, over and over again; one very simple thing, over and over again, over the course of many years, many Satsangs. Fundamentally, we are just exploring this occurrence or appearance…, that Consciousness (which in its very nature is unlimited, which in Itself is not limited in any way) has given to Itself a notion, or has given to Itself the ability to pick of a notion of limitedness. That’s really one of the most important aspects of what we are talking about.

I was saying that it is our inferences, it is our judgments and conclusions, which keep this notion of separation alive. But what is our insight?

If there are two IN’s: if there is an Inference and Insight, and if you have to pick between these two, pick INSIGHT.

Another two IN’s are coming to me. [Chuckles]. Between Intuition and Intellect, pick

INTUITION.

Between Inference and Insight, pick INSIGHT. And then, if we are to use some words, then let those words be as directly about the insight as possible. It is my feeling that if you were to stay just with your insight right now, you cannot escape your unlimited nature.

And notice that I am not saying that some of you are unlimited and some of you are limited. I’m not saying that you might be unlimited in an hour or you were unlimited in the past.

I say with completely certainty that: Right Now, your Being does not have any boundary.

how can I say this with such certainty? Because this never changes. That You are truly, truly, truly always this Consciousness, which is without any boundary, is the Truth of Your nature; which is unchanging.

If you just remain with your own insight right now (even if thoughts, emotions, body sensations, irritation, frustration, bliss, joy, anger; all these things might be coming, or not) if you remain with the insight about What You Are, then You cannot escape this.

If you go with inference about what this is, if you go with a judgment about what this is, if you put a label to this is or what you are, then The Unlimited One is again playing the game as if it is something contained, something with boundaries; as if there are two, as if there is a ‘me’ that has something to do to come to this discovery.

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Like I was saying last time, our starting point is very important. So, in this moment, very quickly, if I just pick up the seeker identity and say ‘Oh, I’m Ananta and I’m looking for freedom. Can you please give it to me?’ …, it’s already a position. And all positions belong to something which is a ‘notion’ which is just a limited idea about myself. But before I took that position, before You take that position, what is here…, without a judgment, without a label?

The conclusion is not important. In fact, it will only seem to get in the way. What is here? All this phenomenal play, phenomenal perception is here; okay? Can we keep it this simple, or do you want to break it down into world, body, emotion, sensation, pain? Can we all just put it in one bucket and say ‘All of this is phenomenally perceived. It is one bucket of perception; one bucket of experiencing’. Let’s leave it at that. Then, what is here that perceives all of this? No matter what the content or quality is, what is it that perceives it?

No experience needs to happen. Just this little bit of looking. Just a little bit of ‘self-audit’ (in a way).

So, the phenomenal world is here. Do you exist? We said the phenomenal perception, all of that, is here. Now, do you exist? Or not?

Even if you were to try to say ‘No’ you cannot step out of your existence and say ‘No’. Even your ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ will come with the basis that You Exist. Even if you say ‘Oh, I don’t know if I exist’ it implies that there is the ‘I’ which you are confirming exists. You see?

Now, that which exists…, it has been told to us (by parents, by the voice of this mind) that that is a limited entity, that that is something enclosed in this body or it is the body itself. Or, if you want to become fancy about it, then you can say it is the body/mind organism. Actually, there is no such thing. There are a set of phenomenal sensations called the body and there is a set of phenomenal sensations called the mind. There is no such organism which is the body/mind. This is just a convenient way to refer to this mish-mash of sensations. You see? And that’s why sometimes terminology becomes important. Many times, we repeat this term ‘body/mind, body/mind’ so much that it can feel like there’s an actual entity which is the body/mind. Actually, there is no such thing. All that we are perceiving is a set of sensations.

Can we call them sensations? All our perceptions, for a minute let’s call them sensations. So, everything that is experienced is experienced within this space of sensations. It’s very simple what I’m saying. Everything that is experienced is experienced as a phenomenal perception. For a while, let’s call it a sensation. Now, whether it is this voice you’re hearing, whether it is a computer or a phone in front of you that you’re seeing; all of that, let’s say for a while that it is a sensation. Everything that is in your experience, let’s call it a sensation.

Now, in this set of sensations, if we didn’t have the ability to divide it up and say ‘this is me’…, some sensations, like the sensations of the body, if we didn’t have the ability to label this ‘me’…, these thoughts ‘me’…, the sound from the street ‘not me’…, the people who are sitting in the

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zoom meeting ‘not me’. But actually, inside, what is it? It’s just a group of sensations as part of one phenomenal experience.

We only ever experience one experience. The appearance of this phenomenal play is always only one. So, in our perception, there can be a hand here [holds up his hand] and there can be another body sitting over there. So, if I did not apply the label ‘me’ to this hand, and ‘not me’ to that body, then I can see that it’s just one experience, one appearance.

So, this notion of separation, this notion of a separate identity, a separate ‘me’ is the conditioning. It is what we have become conditioned to believing. Children are not born with this. We learn it from parents, and then we learn it from this mind itself.

It is supremely simple, because if you were to open up this body, you will not discover an entity ‘me’ over there that is the owner of this body. And many different bodies you experience; this body, then you have a dream in which you are saying ‘I had another body. It was visiting another realm’. So, in the design of this play, it is the sensations of this body, it is the visual of this body and it is the fact that I seem to be visiting this realm through these eyes that make it seem like I am an entity enclosed in this.

But if I were to just remain with my insight about what my true position is, you will find that all experience (the sound of this bird, the sound of the traffic on the road, the hearing of these words coming out of this mouth), all of this is happening within my own Being. Nothing is happening outside of this.

So, ‘the mind’ has one primary function; that is to convince Consciousness itself, its own creator, that ‘Consciousness, you are limited, you are an identity’. I Am, which is unlimited (which is Being, which is unlimited; this Am-ness) the job of ‘the mind’ is to convince It, to convince You, that ‘I am some-thing’. And that something is just a notion.

The sensations of your body are experienced within the same space that you’re experiencing these words, that you experience the visuals of this world. In fact, it is these visuals which keep changing. It is the content of the play which keeps changing. But this space remains unchanging. Even if your mind is making a spatial visual out of what I’m saying, even that space which the mind is conceptualizing is within the space of You. And very simply, we’ll say ‘Where are you experiencing these words?’ … ‘They are experienced within Me’. But this ‘Me’ is not something contained in this body.

Where is this body experienced? The sensations of the boundaries of this body are also in that same Being, in the same ‘existing’…, in the same Existence. So, if for 5 seconds, we lose the ability to believe a notion about ourselves, to believe our limitation in any way, you will see that you are experiencing your fullness. In fact, even when you’re believing ‘notions’ you are experiencing your fullness, but it seems like you’re taking a more limited perspective about yourself, you’re believing a more limited perspective about yourself.

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And that is why this is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness; one Being experiencing all these sensations including these words.

So, oneness (or ‘not-two-ness’ which is what Advaita stands for) is not a position to aspire towards, is not something that we will ‘get to’. It is our fundamental true nature which cannot be changed, actually. This oneness is unchanging. And all of this phenomenal play relies on the existence ‘I Am’…, on My Being to exist.

But the story from the mind always will be that you are a limited entity, a limited object, contained within this phenomenal experience. And it will always tell you that to say that ‘You are All There Is’ is blasphemy, is arrogance. And yet, very simply we say ‘God is everywhere’. That doesn’t sound like blasphemy or arrogance, but it is saying the same thing. All There Is…, is One…, and that One is You. Now, what label you put on that, whether you say Consciousness, God, I…, that is alright. It’s a matter of interpretation.

So, the real importance of the question ‘Can you stop being?’ is to make this clear that this existence is unstoppable in that way. In fact, it is this Being, this Consciousness, which is the light and screen, the director, the producer, the actor of this entire phenomenal play. But we don’t have to rush to these insights. All that is important is to have a simple insight about what you are in this very instant, without coloring that insight with some judgment or inference.

What is your insight about yourself? All these are words which are not meant to be believed. They are just provocations for you to check whether these words are true in your own experience.

And also, as you’re watching, observe the tendency of the mind to rush to make an inference about what you’re experiencing.

Okay, let me expand a little further on what I mean. So, there’s this ‘In Silence’ sign. [A glossy photo sign, about 2’x2’ with a photo of a sunflower and the words ‘In Silence’ on it]. So, when we’re looking at this flower, we’re just looking at the flower. It is our immediate perception. Now, very quickly, the mind can come in and offer up its inferences about it. ‘Oh, it’s really big. It’s merging with the white of the words. Is this for real? Is this on photoshop?’ You see? Something. The insight about it was much clearer. Without even the label flowers, it’s immediately perceived.

So, in Satsang (especially Satsangs like this, which are this direct) if we can keep inferences aside for some time, and if we are to use words, we use words just as plainly as possible to describe our direct insight, then, you will find that That which is being pointed to is just plainly obvious.

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And then, if You decide (and ‘You’ means Consciousness decide) that You are not done with this play of ‘I am something-ness’…, You’re not done with that belief yet; You like the taste of it…

It’s like before we started sharing, we were talking about dentists with the ones who are here [in the Satsang room] and I was telling them that some day when I’m brushing my teeth in the morning, I see some craters in my teeth and I know it’s all the late-night desserts which are causing them. [Chuckles] But I’m not done with the taste of that. [Laughs] So, I keep playing with it. It’s like that.

So, as you are getting this insight about what You really Are, there will come this invitation from the mind to continue to play as if you are ‘something’…, as if you have a boundary, a limitation, you have a name and a form. And it is completely up to You-as-Consciousness to continue to play with that notion, or to allow that notion to just come and go.

But at least after hearing these words, after checking for yourself, You know that it is part of Your play. Because in this moment, I Know that You Are That which I speak of.

You Are That which I Am.

[Silence]

The only difference in the outer expression of a Sage and a seeker is how Consciousness is playing out in those expression and whether it is playing as if it is believing these limited notions about Itself.

That’s why I’m saying that another way to inquire into What You Are is to just say: Okay, what is here?

And we already saw that there is a phenomenal world which includes all phenomena. Is it just that? Or are You also here?

Are you a phenomenal object?

Are you an appearance?

Are you something which comes and goes?

And if you are an appearance, who are you appearing to?

If we are limited by time and space, then we must be another appearance because appearances have duration.

If you are just an appearance, who is aware of this appearance?

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Who is aware of your existence?

So, that brings us to the second part of what I want to share now. There is no rush to get into this. And the great Sages say that (and Guruji [Sri Mooji] says that) Consciousness is the dynamic aspect of My Self. What does it actually mean?

This, which we just explored, was an exploration of your Being, of Existence, of Consciousness. Now, the Sages have also said that even this, which is all there is, All There Is, is an aspect of the Self. To the mind, this is completely strange. [Smiles] What is going on? How can All There Is be an aspect of My Self. It’s a beautiful pointing. Because it is bringing us to the discovery of the Self, That which is aware even of Existence. And It awakens as Consciousness, and yet That which awakens as Consciousness remains as It Is.

Notice that there are ‘no two’ here. It is Your own Self, which is awakening as Being; ‘I’ playing as ‘I Am’. Pure Seeing now playing as Seeing and Being.

So, it awakens as Consciousness…, and with Its awakening is the awakening of the waking state, of the dream state; any state where I Am. And yet, the second part of the phrase is very important. Although It awakens as Being, It itself continues to remain as It was.

That is why in Indian spirituality it is said: From the fullness, fullness arises. And with the arising of this fullness, fullness continues to remain as it was.

So, the Self-I. The truest definition of ‘I’ is the Self. This Self-I remains unchanged, untouched with the arising of the Being, with the arising of the waking state or the dream state or any other state, meditative state. And it is this Being Itself which is coming to the recognition of Its own Source. And it is Being Itself which has the ability to believe Itself to be something emotional, something limited.

So, That which is aware even of Existence…, That which is aware can say ‘Yes, there is an experience of sleep state, there’s an experience of dream state, there’s an experience of waking state, there’s an experience of turiya’ (If you don’t know the term [turiya] forget about it.) …, it’s just like saying ‘Yes, I was in the garden, I was in the playground, I was in the street, I’m in this room’…, in the same way ‘All these appearances and disappearances, I am aware of’. This I…, which to the mind is unfathomable, and yet, to You, is Your very nature.

So, if I ask you ‘Are you aware now?’ you say ‘Yes’. [Silence] But you do not have a phenomenal experience of this Awareness. Your mind will come and say ‘You are only saying yes because there is a perception of phenomena. Because I am aware ‘of’ something, therefore I must be aware. If something was not there, then I would not say I am aware’. But this is not true. Because if I say ‘I am sitting on the couch’ I am aware of both sitting and couch.

These are subtle things. I don’t know if they land really. [Smiles]

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What is our experience of awareness?

And That which has the experience of awareness, what is the nature of That one?

We say: I am aware.

Is there an ‘I’ and an ‘aware’?

Or is ‘I’ and ‘aware’ the same?

And please, please, please don’t let the mind convince you that this is some abstract, mental, intellectual discussion that we are having. I’m speaking very simple things. But it needs some peace, some silence, to hear these words.

I ask you: Are you aware now?

You say: Yes.

I ask you: Which is the ‘I’ which is aware?

Is that separate from the Awareness itself?

All that is needed is to allow this question to hit home and not buy a judgment or an answer about this. Just stay with your insight about this.

So, all that we have said in Satsang today is that: ‘I exist and ultimately even this, I am aware of. I am aware that I exist.’ In all these words, all that we have said is this.

This ‘I’ is Awareness Itself. It is the Self.

Another thing I want to say is that for many who still believe this idea that ‘Okay, I come to this discovery that I am Awareness and this Awareness is really no-thing’ …, there is no real point in this world to come to this discovery. ‘What’s the point? What is it bringing for me?’ So, many of you still have this limited notion of ‘the me’.

Even in this ‘What’s in it for me?’ I want to tell you that as Consciousness is coming to the recognition of its Source, Consciousness is experiencing Its own divinity. It is the fragrance of this divinity that separates the words of a Sage from the words of an intellectual. All of this is only shared for Consciousness to remember to recognize Its divinity; Its divine, unlimited existence. Because nothing has changed for Awareness. The Absolute continues to be the Absolute. Nothing really changes fundamentally for Consciousness. Nothing changes for the person because no person has ever existed. Only in the play of Consciousness; Consciousness believing Itself to be a limited entity, and Consciousness recognizing Its divinity have a different flavor, have a different fragrance.

From the Absolute perspective, we can say that nothing has ever really happened. But when life events and the mind convinces Consciousness that it is something limited and it’s all messed up then it’s not easy to say these words: nothing has really happened.

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So, Satsang is introducing you to your God-Presence, to your Existence, which is the light of this universe. What a wonderful Existence this must be if even Its creations are so sublime. Satsang is so that Being can taste Its own Being; for You to taste Your Presence.

Visit the altar of your Heart right now and tell me if you find a person sitting there.

What is at the core of your existence?

All outer pilgrimages, all of our spiritual endeavors culminate in this bowing down at the altar of Your own Presence, at the altar of Your own Heart.

This is the holiest of all pilgrimages. As Papaji [Sri Poonja ji] was saying in the video the other day ‘The river returning to its own Source’.

All our running around in circles…, all of that is fine as far as the play is concerned, but it if it is the Self that the longing is for, if it is for the realization, the recognition of the Truth that the longing is for, all that is needed is to be still.

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The Mind May Run Out of Moves

Q:When I see that it is all happening in Me, in the Awareness, that is fine but it is like it is still and it feels peaceful and it feels increasingly joyful here, but it still feels like it is sort of personal in the field of this body. For example, I am experiencing you, as it were, within me in [via] the computer, but I am not experiencing what you are experiencing. Like, you are in India, it is probably pretty warm; I am not experiencing that. So, it is like (at least the mind says) yes, it is expansive, but it is still sort of related to…, the current thing is related to where the body is located. And that is okay. Maybe that changes, I don’t know; or even if this is a worthwhile line of inquiry… [Laughter]

A:Yes, so it might arise one day as an insight that the only true thing we can say even about phenomena is that which is our current experience. We can only say ‘I exist’. You cannot truly confirm the existence of ‘Ananta’. Of course, you have some visions dancing in front of you but we experience many different things like this. In a dream, we experience many things; we’re happy to say all of this is a projection of my Consciousness; one Consciousness (all the rivers, mountains and other people come from there).

And yet, even there it can seem like ‘Oh, I am contained within this body, subject to time and space’. So, let this arise as a natural insight if it has to. You remain with this inquiry about what you are and what is it that is aware of your Being, your existence. And then all of these insights, if they have to arise (whether it is one existence, or if there are actually two of us) like Guruji says ‘It is all actually about You, but not you personally.’ [Chuckles]

Then these words will sound like riddles. But they become very clear, what is going on. Or when Ashtavakra says ‘You are the one witness of all there is’. Ashtavakra did not say ‘There is you which is a witness; there is also ‘Ananta’ which is a witness. And all of you are experiencing various things’. It said: ‘You are the one [the solitary] witness of all there is’.

And I know that as long as we are in this rehab getting away from the limited conditioning in some way, all of these can seem like abstract concepts, they can seem like just fairytales or something nice to have but it can feel like ‘It is not my experience yet’. But what I am truly saying is that it IS Your experience already, and yet it is not what your inference is agreeing with, or what your mind is agreeing with. This is what I mean by insight and inference.

Now, as you get comfortable with remaining with your insight, then you will find that all these inferences were actually upside-down. From your own experiences, you will see this; not because the sages have said something. And even if the insights don’t come in this way (that actually, there is only this One Being here) at least this much will become clear, that there is no individual entity called ‘Richard’ here. That is the important thing.

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It is only ‘Richard’ that can suffer. Only that which is limited, that has name and form, can suffer. So, when this world becomes a play then allow these insights to come and go. Even that will become part of your play.

Sometimes the sharing of these insights will happen (not with the intent to frustrate you or something) just to put a small or big fire-cracker in your mind or something; just to explode it in some way. (What is it called? Aha! This, too.) Like our mind-blown experience. Because your mind is blown for a few seconds…, in those few seconds I can do a bypass. I can request you to check what is here.

So, that is why some of these things are said; this is why I also enjoy these. I enjoy these insights very much. I enjoy telling you that:

You are not an object in this world.

It is the world which is an object in You.

And I know that the mind has nothing…, it cannot do anything with that. [Chuckles] But because there is some trust and some love you feel for me, there will be some weight given to these words and for a minute your mind will run out of moves, for a second your mind might run out of moves, and that is enough for me.

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Guided Inquiry Meditation

One helpful tip, before we even get into the inquiry ‘Who am I?’ (It is not a pre-requisite, it is just a tip) before we really check for what ‘I’ is or who I am, it’s good to rest in the moment.

Something already understands what this means when I say ‘Rest in this moment’. I could say ‘Taste this moment’. Whether the moment is quiet or it seems like it is bombarded with mental noise (or any type of noise) can we rest innocently, almost naively, without a sense of judgement? Can we rest in just What IS?

Now, check if you can remain for some time without picking up a notion or a reference point about yourself.

There will be thoughts which tell you about yourself. There will be the visual perspective which seems to tell you about yourself. There might be others that seem to speak about you.

Check if for a few moments you can be empty of this.

This doesn’t mean that the content has to go away. It is just the association. In fact, it is the creation of the false identity which doesn’t happen unless we allow for something to become the reference point or a pointer to myself.

For just some time, forget even the holiest notion about yourself.

Don’t even be concerned with any terminology, any vocabulary including Consciousness, Awareness. Just let it all come and go.

Now slowly, with the eyes of a child, with the innocence of a child, check:

What is it that you are?

Now, some sensations might arise. Find out what witnesses even these sensations.

Don’t try to know the answer. Just gently look without judgement, without reference, without interpretation.

Notice that everything that defines you is nothing but an appearance; and the thought comes and says that ‘This is you’. The thought is nothing but an appearance. The sensations which seem like the boundaries of the body are also appearances for you, attained in the same space that all other appearances are coming and going.

But is the perceiver of these appearances also coming and going?

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Use whatever appearances that might be there for you now (including the voice of Ananta that is there now) to check whether the perceiver to these appearances also comes and goes.

Is there an entity here?

Is the perceiver separate from that which is perceived?

Is the appearance outside of this one that perceives it?

Allow your attention to move towards your favorite representation of God, or your favorite representation towards which you feel the most devotion. Notice that even this representation (whether it is Guruji [Sri Mooji] or Christ, Krishna, Shiva) is also contained within Your Existence, within Your Being.

Allow your attention now to go to any aspect of your existence. It could be sublime, it could be run of the mill, it could be terrible. Allow your Attention to wander wherever it wants. And notice that no matter what the content is, it is only perceived as an aspect of Your own Existence.

Continue to look with the eyes of a child.

As though words have no meaning for you…, look with those eyes.

Dive deeply into your inner-most Being.

Allow all the layers of existence to just move on their own.

Don’t try to understand these words.

Dive into the deepest corner of your existence. If something can still be perceived here, dive into the one that perceives it. If you perceive this one, dive into the one that perceives it.

The voice of judgement will come. Just let it come and go.

Dive deeper and deeper into Your own Being.

Whatever the shape of the experience might be, you dive into the perceiver of this experience.

If there is anything you can say about what you find (except ‘It Is’ or ‘I Am’) go even deeper into who perceives this one.

Some of you might start to experience some bliss, some joy; and you can taste this for a few moments. Remain sober and dive into the Source of even this joy, this bliss.

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Taste your Presence.

Taste your Existence.

With the innocence of a child, without understanding what is being asked…, jump even beyond this Existence. Have no size here, have no shape; no quality describes You prior to Existence. And yet You Exist before ‘I Am’. Yet it is I.

You cannot leave this because It Is You.

You were never born, you will not die when Consciousness is done with the play with this body.

This unchanging Self, You Are.

A million universes cannot contain You and yet You contain them in the tiniest aspect of Our own Self.

The glory of You is unspeakable.

You are the indescribable One.

Allow all descriptions about yourself to vanish into their meaningless-ness because they are not true in Reality.

May the auspiciousness of Satsang bless your outer expression so that it might find peace, find contentment and find rest; That which seems like the inner-most Being but actually is the foundation and the basis and the container of all our layers of Existence.

May Sat Guru Sri Moojiji’s Grace always be upon you.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

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Discovery of That Which Is the Unchanging Self

Do you need to remember anything to exist? So, whatever we remember, at least it’s not an aid to our existence. If all the stories from the past are not helping us to exist in this moment, what purpose do they serve? And you might say that ‘All that will help me to take care of some future moment’. This is the game we keep playing. What does it help us do?

Without any story, what are you Right Now?

Isn’t it funny that we come to Satsang to meet That which is always here? …, to get rid of that which is never here? The ego, the sense ‘I am something’ the sense that ‘I am separate’…, without a story, where does it go?

The experience of this world continues to be experienced. Our perception is still on. Life is still being lived. Did you stop breathing without a story? Did your heart stop beating? Eyes stop functioning? Ears are still hearing. What happened when we dropped the story?

Everything that we need is already here in the moment, Right Now. And what do we really need? Is the experience of this world a need that we have? [Silence] It is a need? Or a play?

That which needs to go into the past and that which has an idea of what the future should be like…, that is not needed in Satsang.

So, one golden rule is that our primary intent (if there is such a thing) is to find the Truth which is unchanging. If there is truth that is changing, that doesn’t have much value. We’ve had many such truths and we held onto them…, and then we had to let go of them because life squeezed them out of us.

So, what is the Truth which is unchanging? And if it is unchanging, where must it be? It must be Here Now. So, then we don’t need to refer to the past or we don’t need to project into the future when we’re looking for the Truth or the Self. Because we are here for Self-realization, Self- recognition.

It’s just that our habit has become to look for things (which seem to be) outside. Then, we look for the Self also as if it will come as if it is an experience. You might not say it so openly if you’ve been in Satsang long enough [Chuckles] but if we usually ask people ‘What is Self- realization or liberation or freedom?’ [They say]: ‘This should always happen. I must always be happy. There should be miracles happening around me. There should be a halo around my head’. Now, where is all this? Outside, in the realm of experiences.

This might be a bit confusing. If you look at what we mean also by Self-realization or recognition, we associate it with some effect; like what is the effect of Self-realization? ‘If I’m

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realized then I must be like this. If I’m enlightened, then I must be like that’. So, for a while, even forget about the concept of enlightenment because that will just be an effect; as if there is an effect to happen.

But what is the first part? Self. [Silence] Not the effect, which is enlightenment or liberation. What is the first part, which is the Self? Where must we go to find this? In which direction should we turn to find the Self? [Silence] Who can say which direction? How many turns you make to go towards the Self? [Silence] Four options: North, South, East or West. [Chuckles]

Q:No. I will look at ‘I’.

A:I will look at ‘I’. How?

Q:By recognizing, at least; having seen…, because it’s the Self…, means like ‘my’ Self…, is only…, I’m looking for ‘my’ truth, I’m not looking for the truth of these glasses. So, if it’s ‘my’ truth, then I must look in ‘me’. [Silence] I’ve been trying to find happiness somewhere but if I’m just looking for the Self (I’m not looking for any happiness) then I have to look at the Self.

A:Good. [Chuckles] I get the meaning of what you’re saying; but let’s drill down even deeper.

Why are you not looking for the body?

Q: Because it’s apparent to me already, visually.

A:So, it seems like the body already is here. Nobody is running around looking for the body. (There might be someone [Chuckles] but we’ll talk about that separately.) Nobody is running around looking for their body. Usually, in our experience, nobody is saying (if we talk to someone, we don’t find them saying) ‘I’m looking for my body’. [Chuckles] ‘What?! What is this?’ How come we don’t have the same reaction when so many thousands and millions of people are looking for the Self? [Silence] She had the answer; she had the clue to that. But let’s really question it.

All of us are supposed to be spiritual seekers, therefore, looking for the Self, the realization of the Self. The word ‘Self’ means what? It is what I Am; it is my Self. Now, we’re not looking for the body. The body, we say, is already here. Self is where? It’s very important, this point.

Q:But you gave us the clue by removing ‘realization’. Then immediately, you can see that ‘I’m already the Self’. Because if we feel that just being the Self is incomplete, then I need some realization. Right?

A:Yes, so let’s really drill down on this point. So, we say that if the Truth is true, if Reality is real, if God is real, if the Self is real, then it must be Here Now. Then, when we look at what is Here Now, it seems apparent that the body is here. Why? It seems apparent because it is also an

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object of our senses. At least, we can look at the contours of the body and say ‘Okay, there is something substantial that I can hold on to’.

Now, if I start asking ‘So, what witnesses even this?’ [Silence] and if you don’t go to a learned concept about it, if you don’t go to an imagination about it…, then who is (the sakshi) the witness of this?

So then, we can include this body and every other phenomenal experience and say: ‘Who is the witness of these?’

And it is a simpler question. If we try to apply our mind to it, then it seems like it’s very complex, like we have to pull out the right concept and we don’t have it.

But Right Now, what witnesses everything? Is it you? Or somebody else?

Q: You.

A:It’s You. What can we say about this one? [Silence] That which witnesses everything; what do we say about That One?

Again, the mind will come with answers, the mind will come with imagination, but stay with your present experience…, stay with your insight as it is.

[Silence]

If I tell you that you are not witnessing anything, does it make sense?

Sangha: No.

A:If I tell you that it is the next one in the hangout (zoom hangout) or your neighbor sitting next to you who is actually witnessing everything, does it make sense? You cannot relate to that experience. You can only relate to your own witnessing, that ‘I am witnessing this world’. This ‘I’ which is witnessing the world; this one is primary.

So many stories we tell about our body. ‘I was born here. Here is where I live. These are my parents. This is what I learned. This is where my school was. I learned to walk at this age. This body has this affliction and that affliction. These are the things that it went through.’ So much we talk about the body.

But the ‘I’ which witnesses all of this…, have we spoken about that? What can we say?

Q:I just realized that this ‘I’ cannot be seen like the body can be seen; this witnessing ‘I’. I can’t see it but I can only Know that I Am. I can’t have an objective…

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A:Yes. It cannot be seen in a physical way so how can we say that it exists? Because we have learned that for something to exist, it must be perceivable…, otherwise it’s a myth.

My son [and his friends] they have this concept. One of them is bragging about something and they will say ‘Photo? Or it didn’t happen?’ [Chuckles] ‘Post a photo of it, or you’re just making it up.’ So, this is how we have learned; that if we have phenomenal or perceptual evidence of something, then we can say it is true. If it is not there, it seems like it is not true.

Now, when it comes to the witnessing, we’re in trouble; or at least the mind is in trouble. Because it is undeniable also that I am the witness of everything. But I cannot find the shape of it. I cannot find the color of it.

Then how do we know? What kind of Knowing is this that Knows that I am the witness of all these appearances?

I keep going back to what Ashtavakra said. He said, ‘You are the one witness of all there is.’ [“You are the solitary witness of all that is.”] He was talking about You. [Smiles]

In Your experience, it is True! You have witnessed everything! But which You is this one? [Silence]

In many of the Upanishads it says ‘Remain the witness. Remain as the witness’. My question is: Can I not remain as a witness? Can I turn this witness off?

So, therefore, the pointing only means ‘Don’t pretend to be something that you are not’. Whatever happens, if you are not there to witness it, does it have any meaning? You at least have to witness a concept of it.

[Silence]

This witness…, is your discovery of That which is the unchanging Self.

For now, we’ll keep it simple like this. [Chuckles] Let’s keep it simple like this because if we quickly start to look at whether this is the perceiver and then whether Awareness is perceiving even this, then it might get a bit confusing. Let’s first just look at this:

What is it that witnesses our thoughts?

What is it that witnesses the space between our thoughts?

[Looking a someone who is new to Satsang] You know what I mean when I say ‘space between the thoughts’? A thought comes ‘Oh, this is making sense’. Or, usually in the first Satsang, it’s ‘This is making no sense’. [Chuckles] So, that is a thought. You see? Then the next thought

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comes after some time ‘But it’s okay’ …, or something. Now, between the first thought and the second thought, it seems like there’s a gap; even if it seems like it is slight.

So, this one that witnesses this gap; you can experiment for yourself and see. A thought will come, and you will find that usually when you start inviting thoughts they seem to not be so rampant. Before you invited them to come in, it can be ‘It’s too abstract. It’s too difficult. I’m not getting it’. All these thoughts are coming. And then when you start inviting them…, not so many.

So, That which watches these thoughts changing, which one is that one?

Is That Itself changing?

With the changing of the thought, with the changing of the imagination or memory (whatever might be perceived) …, is that which witnesses it also changing?

Which one is You?

Don’t go all Advaita on me; I know both are You. [Chuckles]

Which one is more intimately You?

A thought which comes and goes…, do You to remain to see that the thought came?

If I ask you: ‘Okay, bring some focus to your next thought and tell me what it was’. So, the thought would have come and gone. But You remain. So, the thought is changing. You remain as the unchanging.

In the same way, emotions are constantly changing, but You remain unchanging. Everything else; the world is obviously constantly changing. This room has never been exactly like this before. Even this online arrangement has never been exactly like this before; it is constantly changing. This body is constantly changing; shedding cells all the time, new cells being created, millions of processes happening in the body. It’s constantly changing.

Now, all of this play, at all these many different levels, is a constantly changing play. When you come to Satsang, you’re basically saying ‘I want to know what is the unchanging. What is it that I truly Am? Because I see that everything around me is changing, all my relationships are also changing. Nothing stable I find in this world. I want to look for That which remains unchanging’.

[Silence]

What, in your experience, doesn’t change?

What doesn’t change?

Speak from our experience; and preferably, speak from your experience of Right Now.

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I know the question can sound contradictory: What is unchanging Right Now?

Do you know what I mean? What do you find Right Now which is always this way? [Silence]

Q: This witnessing.

A: This witnessing. Who does this witnessing belong to?

Q:Well, that’s why I wanted to check with you. You know, when we began and you asked the question simply ‘Who sees this?’ I was with great confidence saying ‘I Am’. And I recognized that ‘I Am’ can’t be seen. It’s witnessing but it can’t be seen. And then, when we’re just keeping silent, this ‘I Am’ which seemed extremely intimate and ‘me’ just seems to be…, (I don’t know; just something is happening). But the witnessing is not stopping. [Silence] But the witnessing is not giving any meaning to that which is observed.

A:So, what is it that we are finding? We are finding that we were looking for the Self (Atma or whatever you call, the Self) as if we will find it as an object. We were looking to find it like the body. We were hoping to find it like a visual experience of some sort; maybe some chakra or some portrayal of God. All those can be there…, but what witnesses even that?

Is that which is appearing, dancing in front…, is that more intimately ‘I’ than That which witnesses even that? [Silence]

There is no concept more trouble-some to the mind than this one. Because it can smell in these words the pointing that ‘You are not an object’ and the mind’s focus has constantly been to convince us that we are an object.

If you were not a ‘thing’…, is it okay with you?

If you are not ‘some-thing’…, are you okay with that?

Q:I mean something to others…

A:Yes. But even this ‘meaning something for others’ is meaningful for ‘me’. If I did not find meaning in being meaningful for others, then it would be a worthless concept.

So, what we find here is that we’ve given meaning to the idea of a person or an identity or the ego. But when we start to look, we find that there is no such thing here; there is nothing really called a ‘person’. There is a body here, there are thoughts, there are other sensations…, all kinds of phenomena. But no real entity called ‘the person’.

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Then, what you are finding about yourself is that you are empty of attributes and qualities; color, shape and size, name and form. In India, that which has name and form is called an object of maya. So, what doesn’t have name and form? You don’t, in Reality. Your Self.

[The thought might come] ‘Everything is maya, including yourself. Your Atma is also maya’. Nobody says that. Why? So, if everything that has name and form is maya; then what is That which is beyond name and form?

Are we going to allow it to remain just as a concept: ‘Maya is name and form’? ‘The soul (many people have the concept of ‘the soul’) is beyond name and form’. So, are we going to just allow that to remain a concept? Or are we going to have an insight about it? Are we going to be able to find this soul or Atma? [Silence]

My invitation is ‘Yes.’ I’m just pointing out that there will be some frustration along the way, because as you’re looking for the witness, you don’t find something you can hold on to. You don’t see an image of it, you don’t see a color of it. And yet you Know that You are the witness.

Now, that which is frustrating to the mind will actually become your joy. Because if you see that you have no phenomenal attribute, then you really cannot be hurt in this world. Then you have no need for anything. There’s nothing to be feverish about and nothing to run away from.

You find the truth of YourSelf as this Consciousness, this effortless existence…, in which all things are moving but It Itself is not moving. All things are changing, but It Itself is not changing.

That stability that we are looking for, that contentment that we are looking for, cannot come from an unstable world. We’ve seen this for ourselves. Everybody says the world is unstable and this body is unstable. We’ve looked at all these layers. And yet, where is everybody looking for stability? In that which is always changing.

So, what is unchanging?

What witnesses the change?

Is That unchanging?

[Long silence]

Just empty words don’t mean anything here. Because even the best sounding words can become part of our stories.

[Silent sitting]

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In This Very Moment

In this very moment, is there something missing? Whatever the content of the moment might be, You are Here. That’s been the theme here the last few days anyway. What do we need beyond our Existence? If there is something that we could need, then this Existence would not be the Holy Presence. It would be something lacking.

But as you taste your Existence, do you feel like it is incomplete? Do you feel that it is lacking? And when I say ‘Do you feel…?’ I don’t mean ‘What are your feelings about it’ and I don’t mean ‘What are your thoughts about it?’ [I mean]: What is your insight about it?

How do you taste your Existence? How do you experience your Existence? Is there naturally something lacking in it? Is there naturally something missing in it?

Until you go to sleep tonight, will this come and go? Or is this your constant experience?

So, if there is nothing lacking in our Existence, in our Presence, then where is it lacking?

The idea that something should be another way applies to who?

See, this discovery is very, very beautiful. There are some who come to Satsang and they have a complaint; they have a complaint that ‘Ananta doesn’t help us with our feelings’ or ‘Ananta doesn’t help us with our thoughts’. What to do? The expression from here is pointing to this Presence, this Being that is not suffering from Its feelings and Its thoughts. It is, in fact, the origin, the light of even these. And I know that as you taste this Presence more and more, you will find that these feelings and these thoughts really are just images on a screen.

So, does this mean that those who are working on a better quality of feelings, a better quality of thoughts…, they are wrong? No, it doesn’t mean that. There are millions of people and millions of places who are helping with the feeling aspect of it and the mental aspect of it. But Satsang is for just to show us this Truth, this Presence. And I know that sometimes in the play it can feel like ‘Oh, I know this, but it’s not helping. It’s like saying that ‘I know God is holding my hand but he’s really not helping. I know that God appears within me and I am the ultimate abode of even God, but how does that help me?’

That which Knows that God is Here, That which is aware of God’s Presence, what help could That need? So, when we get into that kind of ‘level confusion’ what can happen is that in the same paragraph we can refer to ourself as The Absolute and we can refer to ourself as something that is just an appearance (not even an appearance…, something which is just mythical; this identity). So, the mind will try to own even these insights. That’s why it’s very important to See, with your eyes of insight: See what is Here.

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It’s not a small statement to make that ‘I Exist. I Am’.

Consciousness has given Itself one super-power. Now, if You are God, if You are Divine, You already have everything, You can do everything, You can project this universe, You can play with time and space as if they are building blocks; You can do all of this. Now, what super- power would You give Yourself? You already can play with the entire time and space as if it is nothing…, as if it is Play Dough or something. Now, what is this super-power that You can give Yourself?

Therefore, the only super-power now to give to OurSelf is the ability to pick up the notion to pretend as if ‘I am just a character in this play’…, the ability to pose as if you are limited.

And please know that I mean this completely, with full integrity, that You are God. It’s not something fancy, not something absurd, not something that you have to get to. You ARE It.

[Silence]

You are the Supreme Lord of this universe. And as the Supreme Lord, You wanted to play as if You are something conceptual, as if You are something individual. Therefore, You gave YourSelf this super-power which is to be able to say ‘I am anything; I am something’.

I said this before that anything we put after ‘I Am’ is a story, is a lie. (If lie is too strong a word, at least ‘story’.) Even ‘I am nothing’ is a story.

So, I hope you’re assimilating some of this. We looked at this Existence, we looked at this Presence and we saw That. We call it ‘I Am’. This ‘I Am’…, there is nothing missing in this; in fact, it is the basis for Existence, the basis for any perception, for any experience. In that way, it is All There Is.

And we’ve also looked, over and over this last many years, that unless you attach a concept to this ‘I Am’ suffering is an impossibility. Only something that is limited can suffer. How does a Master of the universe suffer? So, Your Presence, Your Being, Your Existence can never suffer.

So, to get a taste of this suffering, you have to attach a concept to this ‘I Am’. ‘I am something’. ‘I am a spiritual seeker’. And now, if you attach even this humble and nice-sounding concept ‘spiritual seeker’ then what can happen? If you are a spiritual seeker, that means there is somewhere to go, something to seek. That itself is a big lie, isn’t it, because that which you were seeking is already there as ‘I Am’. That which you’re seeking is already there as Your Presence, as Existence, as Being, as Consciousness, as God (whichever words you want to use).

So, God coming to this recognition: I Am that I Am…, is what we are doing in Satsang today, is what God is doing in Satsang today.

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But now, one voice will come and say ‘But these are just fanciful notions’. Actually, that is the voice of fanciful notions because it is the opposite of Your direct insight about YourSelf.

Let me see how many feel that there is something missing Right Now in their Presence. Who feels like it’s a half-Presence or something; like you’re half-existing?

Do you feel there is something missing in this Existence? …, in this moment, before you allow the notion to come, before you allow an idea to come, a thought to come? …, (and even after you allow a thought to come?)

This Existence is just here naturally. Do you have to work hard to exist? How did this Existence come about? Did you say ‘I have to work so hard to make my life’? But what amount of work can you do to make your life? If you didn’t exist, what work will you do to make yourself exist? [Silence] You exist effortlessly.

And it is the nature of the mind that that which is effortless, which is naturally available, it feels that that has no value. That’s why many would prefer it if we gave like ‘100 steps to enlightenment’. [Chuckles] It would feel like ‘99…, oh, 100! I found it! It’s always been here! It’s my own Presence. It’s my own Existence’. But was that missing at step 1?

I know how it can play like that. Sometimes it can feel like ‘I cannot give any attention to this Presence’ and it feels like certain things are needed for us to get there. I understand this. In fact, we spoke about this yesterday also. But I’m speaking from the simple, effortless position now: that I exist. How did this existence come about? We ask so many things: ‘Why, why. Why does this happen to me? Why is my life like this? Why don’t things get better? Why is God this way? Why is God that way? Why can’t my Master be more like this? Why does he wear these terrible t-shirts?’ [Chuckles] You know, ‘why’ about everything. But why do you exist?

What is it that exists? So, as long as we remain in denial of what this Existence truly is, then questions come like ‘Why does this happen to me?’ or ‘What is my life going to bring?’ All these confusions are because of the primary confusion about what You Are.

The root of all confusion is a confusion about what We Are.

You speak from your insight of what You Are…, and tell me a meaningful confusion. You cannot do it. You have to insert an identity into it. You have to first become ‘something’.

So, this is a story of the typical Master-disciple relationship, where the disciple comes and says ‘Please, sort out my confusion’ and I say ‘Please, let’s sort out who you are’. It can feel like a denial of your question but it really isn’t. It’s the only true way that I know of that we can answer it.

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Okay, suppose you were a lost fish…, or you thought you were a lost fish. Finding Nemo or something. [Chuckles] You’re looking for Nemo and you come to me for direction and you say ‘I’m Nemo’s dad. I need to find Nemo. Have you seen him?’ Now, I know that you are not Nemo’s dad. I know that there is no such Nemo. I know that you are the ocean itself. Now, what direction should I give you? [Silence] Hear yourself giving these directions and you’ll hear my voice in satang.

Now, this Nemo has changed throughout our life. It has gone from relationship to money to health of the body to now ‘Nemo’ has become freedom or enlightenment. How will you find this Nemo? The one that is looking must look within now…, and see if That one finds anything missing here.

In the ocean of your Existence, you’ll find lots of things. Some things might feel pleasurable, some things might feel painful. But the ocean’s job is not to discriminate between them. The ocean’s job is not to say ‘I want only this and I don’t want the other’. Because there is nowhere for everything to go, except to be within You. It’s just that you’re misunderstanding your space. You feel like you are limited space. And once you start to have this insight that there is no limitation which is true about Me, then you will not resist or reject anything in your experience.

So, that day we were celebrating Guru Purnima and these words came: Bless everything that you perceive. Everything. Don’t make a distinction in your blessing because all of this is your creation. Everything is your child.

And if blessing seems like too much, at least don’t resist it, don’t fight it. Come to this simple space of neutrality.

[Silence]

Sometimes, to what we speak about in Satsang, the mind says ‘Oh, this is denial. You’re in denial of your feelings and thoughts’. Actually, it is not denial. Allowing and openness toward whatever might be is the opposite of denial. It is our resistive relationship that we create towards any feeling or towards any concept that is the attempt at denial.

The ocean is not picking and choosing what can swim in the ocean. The room is unconcerned about which objects are there in the room. So, we’re not giving belief to the wrong identity, to the false limited self which is the denial of the truth of what You Are. In the truth of what You Are, all phenomena is allowed and accepted. Actions and reactions move on their own.

Taste your Being. Taste your Presence.

Tasting? Are you tasting? [Chuckles] Like I’m saying ‘Taste your Being, taste your Presence’ and you’re wondering ‘What’s for dinner?’ [Laughs]

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No matter what the mind might be saying, taste yourself as Existence, as Presence.

And if some of you are new to Satsang, then the way to quickly find this sense of Presence, this sense of Existence, is to actually try to stop being. Try to not ‘be’ for a moment. And you will see that it’s silly, it’s funny, to try and not ‘be’ because Your Existence is just Here.

Then, this Existence that is Here, don’t make a concept about it, don’t make a visual about it. Just taste it. Don’t try to understand how to taste it. This much explanation is enough.

If you feel like you’re not being, that you can’t find Being: Don’t be. Can you not be?

Don’t make any conclusions about it. No interpretation is needed.

Allow your attention to immerse itself completely in Your Presence.

These words are directing it.

You don’t need to do anything at all.

Immerse yourself in Your own Presence.

Have this holiest of holy dips.

And as you dip inside the wonder of Your Presence, allow the Presence complete space.

Don’t hold anything in your hands.

Let it take away all your possessions, your concepts, your insights, your ideas, how you must be,

all of your defenses…

Allow all of this to be immersed in Your own Presence.

The idea that you are doing something…,

Allow it to be immersed in this Presence.

If some fear is coming, it’s nothing to be concerned about.

This too shall pass.

If some joy or bliss is coming; same thing.

This too shall pass.

Don’t hold onto anything at all.

Surrender all things to this Presence.

Nothing needs to be held onto.

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You’re tasting Your True Existence.

Your true nature has always been here.

You played with all that could be played with.

All the fishes in this ocean; You played with all of this.

Now you are discovering what the ocean Itself is.

What is the space in which all of this is happening?

Is it separate from You?

[Silent Sitting]

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

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When the Rubber Smashes the Road

He says very beautifully that sometimes an event can happen in our life that can feel like a complete knock-out punch. Completely unexpected out of the blue…, boom!

All the concepts that we hold about ourselves, everything that we felt was true about life, that is knocked away in one punch. Then you say that ‘I feel so vulnerable, open, empty’. And in this way, actually even these kind of events (it will sound strange what I am going to say) but even these events give you this gift: that you cannot truly make a conclusion about anything. Because you know that anything can just happen; in this phenomenal world, anything can happen. But even in this, now the mind will come and try to give you a position. It will make that position of ‘an open one, a vulnerable one’. It will say ‘Ah, I know now that I am so vulnerable’. But even that we don’t want. Remain empty of any condition, any concept.

So, all life is like this; it is just moving in its own way. Just like the waves of the ocean, they are moving. It can feel like the wave is deciding ‘Oh, I am going to go left today, I am going to go this high today or this low’. All this is just make believe, just fairy tales, that ‘I can decide what is to do, what is to happen, where I will go’. If you start thinking about all the decisions you have to make (education, career, how to bring up a child and all) nobody knows all these things. Nobody really knows anything about anything. Just when that moment arises …, my children will come in front of me and say ‘Pa, can we do this or not?’ I don’t know the answer but something comes, a yes or no comes. The mind will come later and say ‘Ah, but was that good’ or ‘Was that right or wrong?’ It has nothing to do with how it moves. Ask parents. Isn’t it like that? You could have a plan: ‘Okay, I am going to bring up my children like this or like that’. But it doesn’t happen. In the moment, it just flows as it is meant to flow. So, just like any parent, you don’t know anything which is good; at least you have the recognition that you don’t know anything. Most parents (what the struggle is) they feel like they know something and then the children seem to be going another way and then they feel like ‘I am not doing a good job’ or something.

Because in Satsang, you are seeing that life is already surrendered. And with this event now, you see that it is all surrendered. Nobody could have seen this coming.

Q: No planning can help.

A:No planning can help these things. So, you see that something moves all of this and something will also move the life of your children. As you remain empty of your individuality, you will find that your children are automatically blessed by your Presence. It doesn’t mean that they won’t throw tantrums; it is not a cheat code in that way. All that will still happen but it is all a part of the taste of this world. All the extremes are tasted here; life and death, birth and death. You have had a taste of this. Death can come…, from the silliest of things without any fathomable reasons.

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And all this strategizing, planning, deciding is quite worthless in the larger scheme of things. And yet in the play, even this is a part of the movement of the wave. Even spontaneously, you might find yourself planning (you see what I am saying) knowing fully well that this plan is just nothing but a conceptual idea. If it is the will of Consciousness to move in that way, it will; otherwise is it not going to. Yet, as a part of the play, we can say…

As long as you consider yourself to be an individual identity who has got responsibility now, additional responsibility, then it will seem burdensome. Once you start to see that there is no entity here anyway, it has always been Consciousness, it has always been that One’s problem, (whether you call that Consciousness, the Satguru, whether you call it God, it doesn’t really matter). But for the One whose problem it has been has always been, it is not really a problem. [Chuckles] You know what I mean? It has always been like that. Nothing is additionally your problem.

It is very beautiful what you say because even in the complaint of ‘Oh, Father, now I have this additional responsibility and how will I deal with it?’ you see that Consciousness is enjoying even that. At least you are looking clearly enough to admit it. Most of us, when we are going through it, we don’t see with these eyes. The mind would say, for most of us: ‘How could Consciousness be enjoying this?’

You must not feel that tears should not come and only when the tears stop then… If there is grief, let there be grief; if there is anger let there be anger. Not just grief; I am sure even anger comes.

Q: Yes.

A:So, in the worldly play this can seem like this is something to get really angry about. All this is allowed to come; grief, anger, resentment can come. Don’t try to push away any. For some time, don’t even worry about whether it is mind-y, it is not mind-y. Don’t be hard on yourself about anything. Just remember one thing: that you are taken care of, your child is taken care of. There will be moments when strong identity will come; let it come. It is okay. Just know that you are always in the Satguru’s arms.

For Consciousness to experience Its own Godly Presence is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves while we have this existence. This gift we must give to ourselves.

Q: With your Grace, Father.

A:This Grace is only in service to your longing for this Truth. The Satguru’s Presence is greater than any other force. As long as you find your place in this Presence, you don’t have to worry about anything else.

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Once in Guruji’s [Sir Mooji’s] house where he stayed in Rishikesh, there was a lady there whose fiancé passed away. She said ‘Ananta, it took me 4 years, but 4 years later now I can tell you now that this was the greater gift I could have happened in this life’. Who can say like that, that the passing away of this Beloved one is the greatest gift she had in her life? Because it brought her to her un-dying Self.

So, death is not a topic we should shy away from. This body is dying. All that we are concerned about…, this object, it will end up in the funeral pyre or under the ground…, all our planning …

We were talking about it, but we will not be able to avoid this. Most likely our body will end up in the hospital one day and then after that. this body will but put onto a pyre or under the ground.

But while this play is on, while this body has the animating force animating it, can we play the game in this way: Can we find that which is undying? That which will not burn in that fire? Like in Shivoham: Na Shastra kate na agni jalay – That which no weapon can cut and fire cannot burn. Can we find that?

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Including the Phenomenal Experience

It’s a great inclusiveness to include the phenomenal experience. Not to be in denial of the phenomenal appearance, not to try and push it away. In your inclusiveness of ‘All There Is’ (even including that which appears) then there is a simple openness to everything that is arising. And in this openness, it is apparent that there is a phenomenal aspect, a phenomenal play, which is an aspect of MySelf. And there is something which is non- phenomenal; the Witnessing which does not have a quality, it does not have an attribute.

So, in our openness, it is apparent what we Are; that we are both Shiva and Parvati; the un- manifest and the manifest. It is apparent.

Some of you who have come to just a few Satsangs might wonder about this, because it might feel like what I’m always pointing to is the non-phenomenal or That which is the witness of even the primal phenomena. It is only that we want to be inclusive about it. What has happened is that mostly we have included only the phenomenal, and the recognition of the non- phenomenal has not been there. That is why it looks like, when we say …, (for example, when we say ‘not-this, not-this; the neti-neti’) it can feel like we are in denial of that which is appearing. But actually, it is only expanding our horizons. It is more like saying ‘What else is there? Is there anything else besides the phenomenal?’ And when that recognition is there, then we say that ‘Yes, it is undeniable; the appearance of Consciousness and the entire play of Consciousness is also undeniable’. That’s why we don’t deny that Existence is here, and the play of Existence is there.

Then you say that ‘Even, if for a moment, I buy a thought or believe a thought, then I find myself smelling a bit different, smelling a bit individualized, a bit not in alignment with the Reality of what I find MySelf to be’.

That’s exactly what we are talking about. Because these thoughts are talking about You as if you’re an entity. And this entity is not even to be found phenomenally.

So, in our resistance of phenomena, we still don’t find the appearance of this individual entity. You see? So, that’s why even phenomenally it smells or tastes a bit different when we pick up this individual position.

Then, what is to be done? Nothing. Because in this moment, it is already done. The ‘clean up job’ happens organically every moment. So, that’s it. So, we are fresh and clean.

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The Root Message of the Mind

Okay, let me share a little about what I was saying. She was saying that ‘These moments of spontaneous recognition, they happen and something tries to grasp them’. Now, what does it mean…, ‘something tries to grasp them?’ It means something tries to make a clear concept about it, that ‘This is what happened’ or ‘This is what’s happening to you’.

These concepts are failing now, because this that you are experiencing is beyond the realm of phenomena. And a concept can only try and make a feeble attempt to describe some phenomena. You see? Now, what you’re discovering about YourSelf is that You are beyond just your phenomenal existence. It is a part of You but You are more than that. And that’s why it can feel like you are losing some perspective. Now, that perspective…, is very good we are losing it because immediately after a spiritual experience, if we were able to conceptualize it and able to share it very clearly, to have a very clear perspective like a concept about it, then I would be a bit worried about you actually. I would feel like some spiritual ego is trying to creep in by having some very spiritual concepts about what is happening.

But you say ‘I’m losing perspective. I’m not able to say clearly about what’s happening with me’. This is very good. Use this perspective and you see that nothing very valuable is being lost. Isn’t it? It can feel a bit uncomfortable because it can feel like ‘I always knew what is happening to me. I knew where I was going’ …, all of these things. ‘But now suddenly I don’t have a perspective anymore. Is this life? Is this beyond life? Is this spiritual? Is this non-spiritual?’ All these boxes will start to dissolve.

This kind of perspective, if you are losing it, is very good. You are tasting life for what it is and not this photocopy of life which our mind tells us life is. You’re facing every moment as it is, and you don’t have an interpretative idea of everything that is happening to you. This is really good.

The reason why the mind is not trustworthy is because it is convincing you about you being an identity, which is not real. So, in that way, the mind us not trustworthy. If the mind is saying that the apple is green, it is making a phenomenal report (which is also not really trustworthy because we can talk about green-ness and apple-ness…, we can talk about those things. But at least in that, there is no concept of ‘I’ or of your relationship with the apple). But you will find that most of what the mind is saying is it is talking about you as if you were a limited entity. In that way, it is not trustworthy.

When you see that the root of the message of the mind is to convince Consciousness of Its individuality (by Consciousness’s own design) and that now Consciousness is coming to this part of the play where It doesn’t want to play as if It is a limited individual entity anymore, that is why the mind is losing its trustworthiness.

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Thoughts Refer to You as a Limited Entity

Before the video came on, I was just asking everyone ‘What do we do here?’ Actually, it’s a good question. You see, at some level, what is unfolding is unfolding on its own. It just feels like there is a simple voice which can try to come as an interruption in the unfolding. It can feel like we need to hear a truer voice. It seems to be an aid of the unfolding. It seems to counter-balance, at least, the voice of the mind, the voice of our individuality. But since you’re here, it means already that something must be attracted to this unfolding. And you’re unfolding to your True nature, your True Self. What is getting folded back is only the layers of the play, the layers of the pretend-identity.

So, if this is happening already, is there a job for you to do? Maybe the best job is to get out of the way [Smiles] or stay out of the way.

One way of saying it is that ‘The Master is doing it’. But it is the nature of the personal mind to put up these road-blocks, because that has been how we have created this play of individuality, by creating resistance to ‘What Is’. So, if ‘What Is’ (or Consciousness or the Satguru; whatever term you want to use) is pointing now to Your divine unfolding (by Its own design because this is the realm of duality, after all) …, another voice will also try to keep that unfolding from happening.

For many years, without ever seeing this conveyor belt, I’ve been sharing this example of this conveyor belt where all these various types of food will come. And for the first time now, actually (in Dubai) I saw it; this place called ‘Yo! Sushi’ where all these various types of sushi will come (some of it was vegetarian, thankfully). So, we saw what it’s actually like.

It is just like this, this openness which I speak of; it’s just like this. Allow the conveyor belt to roll. It will come with various options; one at a time. Same way. Some of it coming back; repetitive cycle. So, this mind will come with its own ideas, repeating themselves, convincing you that you are an individual entity.

But without that, Right Now, what is it that you Are? Effortlessly. Don’t even work hard or sweat for this question. What is it that you Are?

So, let the conveyor belt go around and around. One of the ‘dishes’ on the ‘conveyor belt’ will say ‘When will this stop?’ But that’s also a ‘dish’ on the ‘conveyor belt’. [The thoughts might say]: ‘It means something if it was to stop. Something needs to happen for me to become free.’

The unfolding only means that our belief in these false pretenses, our belief in the idea we have about ourselves, falls away.

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What is on this conveyor belt of the mind? Inferences, judgments, projections. What is the basis for belief in them? The basis must be that ‘I am a limited, individual entity’. Without that, none of it makes sense. Look at the thoughts you believe about yourself. And if you were an unlimited Being, would any of them make sense? At least not the thoughts that give you any trouble.

Name a thought that gave you trouble last; any of you. [Someone says, ‘No troubles.’] They have no troubles. [They say, ‘Enjoying.’]

Name a thought that gave you trouble last? Nobody has any? [Silence] I want to believe you. [Chuckles] But when I start getting the reports…

Ah, see! [Reading from chat] She said ‘I don’t like seeing myself on video’ was the last thought. Good. So, just like this, the thought can come. And then, imagine this thought is speaking to something which is unlimited (which has no defined shape, boundary, characteristic, form) and you see that this thought becomes completely light and meaningless actually.

So, when a thought comes like this, it latches onto an idea about ourself which is limited in some way; in shape and size, name and form. And if you don’t have the courage to expose like this, openly, look within and see: What was the last idea which gave you any suffering or trouble? It could be whenever it happened. You’ll find that the idea that was being referred to over there (what you were referring to yourself as or believing about yourself over there) was a limited entity; limited by body, limited by the mind, limited by our conditions.

So, what can I do to help you in not picking up identity from this conveyor belt? You tell me.

[Silence]

Yes. [Reading from chat] Shanti says something also which is not so uncommon. She says ‘The belief I have is: ‘I’ll never get it…’ Never get it …, get it together or…? Is it ‘get it together’? You mean ‘Pull it together in life, and make a good go of life’? Or you mean ‘Never get it’ …, like what we are talking about? [She types answer into chat box which Ananta sees] Oh, she’s talking about life in general; trying to get it together and make it function smoothly.

Another example; again, even in this: the ‘I’ …, which one is this one?

It’s not ‘God will never get it together’. So, clearly there must be a limited ‘I’ which can just not get it. And then, see, the mind will try to pull in even all the spiritual ideas. ‘You know the truth, and still you can’t get your life together. There must be something wrong with you.’ You know, these kinds of things. ‘You know what the truth is, you know you are pure Awareness, the Self which is untouched, and yet when it comes to life, you just can’t get it together!’ …, these kinds of things. So, this ‘you’ quickly comes in as a limited identity. Even under the shadow of the greatest insights, it sneaks in.

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[Silence]

So, I want to propose that all spiritual practices, all pointings, everything …, the basic intent behind them has been to get you to this point of openness, courageous openness …, that you’re not so compelled (you don’t feel so compelled) to pick up conditioning.

That’s a nice one that she had. But another one, which is even more popular is a belief that ‘I’ll never get it’. When Maria heard that, she said that ‘For me’ she is believing that ‘I’ll never get it’. And the simple Advaita answer (of course all of you know) is that ‘You Are It. There is nothing to get’. And yet, there is something that is not so straight-forward. Because there is this moment of insight which is available Right Now; just to See What You Are. And it can feel like, in life, most of humanity seems to be just distracted with the images and inferences and projections of the mind so much that even this ever-available insight about What I Am, this ever- available recognition about What I Am seems to be elusive.

So, although it is completely true that there is nothing to ‘get’, nothing to be done about it…, but not in the sense that: If you were to look Right Now, you could have a fresh insight about What You Are, which is beyond any phenomenal experience. All the examples in Satsang are for that.

If you came with a strong belief that you are a drop of water, and you have this belief that this drop of water is so unworthy that it will never get it (suppose) then as a drop, can you get it? No. So, from that perspective, it is true that the drop can never get it. But the drop can be ‘dropped’. So, the ocean itself that You Are comes to this recognition that ultimately the belief in the identity of this ‘drop’ must be dropped.

How does this happen? When does it happen? Nobody can truly say. Some can say ‘It’s the grace of the Master’. Some can say ‘It is Consciousness tired of playing as individual entity that is unfolding to Its true nature now’.

So, the words in Satsang therefore are just encouragement and a reminder to that aspect of Consciousness that is playing in a way that It is done with Its egoic existence.

So, even behind the idea ‘I’ll never get it’ …, which is the ‘I’ which is hiding? That insight is important.

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You Don’t Have to Push the Mind Away

We’re on a very important point, so let’s come back to this. You say ‘I am holding onto this false-I so tightly that I can’t drop it. I just can’t.’

So, suppose I say that you don’t have to. I did it for you. It is dropped. But the mind will still come with ideas about how it is not dropped. This is what I mean by ‘the conveyor belt of the mind’. It’s coming with an offering. It’s telling you something about your limitations. But I have told you that though it is coming, you are free from it.

Q: The mind doesn’t drop it. The mind still clings on to it.

A:The mind doesn’t have to. The job of the mind is only one; it is to convince you of your limitation, it is to convince you that you are the ego. So, don’t expect that the mind will change its job. Let the mind do its job; you let it just come and go.

Now, in this moment, are you limited?

Q: No.

A:Where is the false-I?

Q:Nowhere.

A:Nowhere.

Q:For a fraction of a second, it becomes like that, then it comes back.

A:Yes, it comes back. Does the false-I also come back?

Q:No, the mind comes back.

A:Yes. ‘The mind comes back’…, the mind itself is saying ‘The mind comes back’. The mind itself is saying ‘The mind comes back’. And that means that you seem to become limited again.

Okay, let’s start again. This moment, Right Now, do you have a boundary? This moment, if you don’t go to any inference, if you don’t go to any judgment, if you don’t make the limitation about anything using a thought, is there something which is limited about you … [Silence] … in this very moment?

Q: No.

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A:Did we do anything special in this moment? Did I do some magic on you?

Q:No.

A:You just checked.

Q:Yeah.

A:I can tell you that every moment is the same. You are clearly unlimited. But the mind will come with its story full of limitation.

How do you engage with this mind? Suppose the mind came with this thought ‘Yes, someone says you’re getting it, but you’re still not there’. This is a popular comment it makes. Suppose it comes and says that ‘You’re still not there actually’. How do you engage with this thought? By placing your attention on it, isn’t it? There must be attention on it for you to report ‘That thought came’. There was attention on it. And next, isn’t there the process of agreement, the process of belief in this thought?

Suppose you were to just let these thoughts come and go … [Silence] … without trying to fix it or do anything about it? … [Silence] … Then actually, are you limited? Or unlimited?

Q: Not limited. Unlimited.

A:Is it possible to pose as if you are limited, to pretend as if you are limited, unless you rely on some thought?

Q: No.

A:And the good news is that you don’t even have to drop it in that way. You don’t have to push the mind away. You just have to remain open to it. Just let it come and go.

My favorite saying is from a Zen master, who said ‘Let all thoughts come and go. Just don’t serve them tea’. [Silence] And what would be the tea that we would serve to them? The tea would be to come to them with the power of our belief in them. Consciousness has given to Itself the power of believing that it is completely limited, that it is something separate. And it uses this power to engage with the mind, with these thoughts.

So, don’t try to change the content of the mind. The mind has only one job which is to convince you of your limitation, to convince you of your separate identity. Let that mind just be. You remain open; don’t serve it tea.

Q: Okay.

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A:I want to hear from you as we go along. I want to hear from you how it is going, what is getting in the way; that kind of thing. Very good.

Some of you are new today in Satsang, but most of you have been with me for a long time. And I want to say to you that all that is happening in this game of individuality is that Consciousness is picking and choosing a set of sensations in Its entirety of experience and saying that ‘This is me…, and ‘the other’ is another set of sensations which is outside of me’.

Now, this is just not true. All of this is one happening, one experience; a set of light and sound, a set of phenomena within one space of Being, one space of Existence, one Consciousness.

The job of the mind is to label certain aspects of this experience as ‘me’…, and other aspects as ‘outside me’ or ‘not me’. But this is not Your experience. This is just an inference from the mind. All of this is You. And it’s not even the entirety of You. It is just an aspect of You.

All of the worldly appearance and phenomena exist because You exist. I Am. And I have never experienced any phenomena unless I Am. ‘I Am’ is the basis for all experience.

So, when Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘True universality, true inclusiveness’ it is not a forced universality, it is not a forced inclusiveness. It is a natural inclusiveness of Seeing that everything is Me, everything is within Me.

So, the ‘Me’ has been used in a limited way, the ‘I’ has been used in a limited way. And now this ‘I’ is finding Its universal nature.

If you don’t rely on any inference Right Now, and you rely only on your direct insight, what do you find about yourself?

Some subtle inferences might be happening for you. Or you might be feeling that the sensations of the body seem to define some sort of a boundary of ‘you’. But see if you can look beyond this and See that it is the sensations which are happening within You…, within Your Being, which is unlimited. These sensations don’t limit anything. They are just designed to feel intimate; and in their intimate design, they allow this easier belief in the idea that ‘I am limited by these’. But You are not.

You are unlimited Consciousness, un-definable Being.

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Differentiating Between Mind and the False ‘I’

Q: I can’t clearly differentiate between ‘mind’ and ‘the false I’. Could you speak about that?

A:Yes. Usually in satang here we keep it very simple, where we refer to Bhagavan’s [Sri

Ramana Maharshi] definition of the mind which is that the mind is a bundle of thoughts. And just to add a little bit onto that, I usually include thoughts and similar energies like memories, imagination; these kinds of projections also we include in ‘the mind’.

I know that there are other definitions of the mind. There’s a definition of the mind where the Big Mind is Consciousness Itself. It goes to that extent. But here, to keep it very simple and very clear, we refer to mind as just the functioning of these energies called thoughts and the similar energies. Just simple in that way. So, when there is a thought to which attention is going, then that is the mind. Then there is a space between thoughts…, that is the ‘no-mind’. It’s like this.

In fact, it’s a beautiful contemplation just to see: What remains in the space between thoughts? Does the witness or the perceiver to the thought still remain? And what can we say about this perceiver? Who is this perceiver which is independent of thoughts?

Is it a bit clearer now? So, this is the mind. The false-I is the identity that gets picked up by Consciousness; the identity of limitation, the identity of separation, the identity of name and form which gets picked up by Consciousness Itself and Consciousness Itself starts to pose as if it’s a limited existence, as if it has a boundary of the body and it is referred to by a particular name. So, name and form. This is the false-I.

Now, what is the correlation between the mind and the false-I? The correlation is that the mind’s job (in Consciousness’ own design, the mind’s job) is to convince Consciousness Itself that It is the false-I, that it is the limited-I. So, belief in the mind…, how does the job become successful? It is by the creation of this identity, this false identity. So, when Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘Don’t identify’ what does it mean? It means that there is attention that goes to the thought, and also this belief which is giving assent to the thought, giving a truth value and a meaning to the thought…, which makes Consciousness Itself pose as if It is a limited entity, you see, which is the process of identification.

So, the mind’s purpose is to keep selling…, to keep coming up with these stories (as Guruji [Sri Mooji] says) ‘auditioning for our attention’…, actually auditioning for our attention and belief and saying that ‘Yes, you are like this, you should be like this, you haven’t got it yet’ or ‘You are getting it’…, you know, any interpretation which, at the core of it, is the sense of a limited-I, is the sense of a limited self.

The messaging from the mind is like this. Once Consciousness gives identity, belief, to this messaging from the mind, it operates as if it is this limited-I or the false-I.

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Does Conceptual Understanding Translate into Insight?

Q: Does conceptual understanding ever translate into insight?

A:So, let’s look at this, this is a very good question. You say ‘Does conceptual understanding ever translate into insight?’ Can you take me through an example of a conceptual understanding that you have which you don’t feel is an insight yet?

Q:Well, I have been following this for a number of years now. Everything seems so clear when I listen to it or read Nisargadatta Maharaja or listen to Mooji or listen to you; there is no doubt, there is no space. But it doesn’t really translate into real Knowing. There is not a felt Knowing. So, it feels like it is always going to be like that, like there is always going to be that distance between actual Knowing and mind here.

A:Very good, So, take an example of something which is very clear of what you hear in Satsang, and when you hear it, it is very clear intellectually but you feel it is not your direct insight yet. So, can you take one example? Is it an example like ‘I am Awareness’? Or what is it that it seems very clear when you hear it but still you don’t feel is your insight?

Q:For example, it is very clear I am not the body/mind. If I think about it, I cannot be the body/mind. But the day-to-day experiences is that I am very much confined to the body/mind.

A:Now, what if I were to tell you that actually this is not your experience at all? That it is only an inference from the mind; that your experience is not that you are the body/mind? You are experiencing this body as a set of sensations and some visuals and you are interpreting it as you. And all the other sensations which you are experiencing, you are interpreting that as ‘not me’.

Your experience is exactly the same as the experience of a child. A child does not have this idea of separation. So, our experiences always remain the same. It is only this voice of conditioning (which could have come from our parents, it could have come from this mind) which says ‘Yes, this sensation is me, but the sound of the traffic on the road is not me’. What tells us that? Is it the experience which is telling us that?

Q: No, it is the voice in the head, I guess.

A:Yes. So, you see, the experience is always this. We are always experiencing the Truth, but we are interpreting it as if it is personal. I know that this can seem like a bit of a leap because we have always believed that ‘My experience will change when I am free’. But it is not that the experience will change, it is only that we are not buying the mind’s stories about what the experience is or what the experience means.

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Right Now, there is an experience of some sensations and if you don’t label them ‘my body’ but just notice that there are some sensations in the same way that there is the sound of this voice, which is another set of sensations…, what is it that makes that more ‘me’ and this ‘less me’?

Q: Mmmm …

A:… from your experience, from your insight. It is the same. It is just a different quality of sensations that you are experiencing. It is only the interpretive mind which comes and says ‘This is me; not somebody else, not outside.’ Without that, it is one appearance with no separation. This is your experience right now.

Q:Then how does the habit break? What makes this habit break?

A:Yes, yes. There are two aspects to this.

The first aspect is what we do in Satsang every day, which is to come to the recognition ‘What is it that I truly am? Who is the one that is aware? Who witnesses even my existence?’

So, in this, we come to this recognition about the greater aspect of MySelf. We see that this dynamic aspect is a part of Me which just comes and goes. So, then what happens is as you ‘taste’ yourself more and more in this way, when the mind comes with its stories about your limitation and why you are still stuck, and you are not getting it; then you start to look at it and say ‘Which one is this mind talking about?’

So, it is easier to drop the belief in this one, as more and more you are recognizing what you Are. And what happens also is that as you are dropping belief in this one, the recognition seems to become more and more effortless. So, in that way it becomes a virtuous cycle.

In Satsang, what is happening is both sides. There is inquiry where we are dropping; where we are recognizing what we Are. And there are interactions where we are dropping that which we believe ourselves to be falsely. Both of them become this virtuous cycle.

So, as more and more you recognize what you Are, you find it easier to drop that which is false about yourself, and the more you drop that which is false about yourself, the easier it seems to recognize it. This is how this habit is broken.

That is why Guruji [Sir Mooji] says that ‘Satsang is like a rehab’. [Chuckles] It is a rehab that God has created for God Itself, because God was posing as if It is a limited entity and then God comes in the form of a teacher and says ‘But You are not that’. This habit is broken like this.

Everything in Satsang is in service to the recognition of what you Are and to your dropping the false conditions about who you Are. This way, very soon, you actually start to see that those which were very strong thoughts …, especially these seeker-variety thoughts; those can be very

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limiting in some of the ideas. ‘I just don’t get it, I have been at this for many years and others seem to get it easily’ …, these kind of thought patterns. If you just look and say ‘Who is this talking about? Who is here that is getting it or not getting it?’ then you start to see, more and more, that there is no such individual entity here. There is just this boundless Being, this Existence, I Am; and awareness even of this, before I Am.

So, then you will find that we find it more and more difficult to attach attributes to ‘I Am’. We find it more and more difficult to say ‘I am this, I am that’ because we find that anything that we attach to this ‘I Am’ actually becomes a statement for some sort of limitation. But what you find more and more about YourSelf, through your insight, is that You don’t have that ability to believe it anymore.

So, it is like growing out of this identity of personhood, just like children grow. When we were children, we would have had an attraction to some doll house or some other forms of play, but we grew out of it because we recognize ‘I am not that little child anymore, my interests have changed, I would rather read some literature than play with my dolls’ …, or something like that. That transformation happened because we recognized ourself to be something else. In the same way now, this radical transformation is happening, where You are recognizing that You are beyond all limitations, You are beyond time and space.

You will find that the mind is not designed to just keep quiet as this recognition is happening. It will also come with its battle and say ‘No, no, but you are this. See, you got angry the other day, that means that you are still not free’. It will come with all these reports about yourself. But as you stay in Satsang, as you stay with your inquiry, as you stay with the recognition of what you Are, you will find that more and more these thoughts become laughable.

So, the only difference between you and a Sage right now is that the Sage is laughing at most of his or her thoughts, whereas you seem to be taking them a little more seriously. That is all. In the experiencing, there is no difference.

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Right Now, You Are Empty of All Conditioning

This is exactly what the whole play of the human condition is, in some ways; especially the play of the spiritual seeker is very much like this where when we come to Satsang, or when we come to the presence of a great scripture like the Ashtavakra Gita and it seems so obvious. Ashtavakra said that these are the five tattvas, the five elements. They’re just coming and going. What he implies in that also is that ‘I remain, I am not coming and going’. But when it comes, it can seem like ‘it gets me’. When it comes, it really seems like it ‘gets me’. And then when we look at something like this [the Ashtavakra Gita] it seems so obvious again that ‘None of this truly gets me in a real way. It gets this play, this aspect of me’.

So, that is why. If it was ‘snap, snap’ [Snaps fingers] …, if all that was needed is to read the Ashtavakra Gita once, or one of the verses like this, then we would not need Satsang every day. Because the power of conditioning, the power of identity can seem like it has its own momentum. It has been built up. One example I share is that suppose you looked at a photo of Papaji [Poonja ji] and you always thought that that is Nisargadatta Maharaj. And somebody comes and says ‘No, no, this is not Maharaj. This is Papaji’. And then you have that Satsang interaction for a bit and then you recognize ‘Yes, it is Papaji’. But next time when you see it, again the concept will come that ‘This is Maharaj’ because for a long time you have picked up the condition that it is somebody else, it is something else.

In the same way, because in this play you have picked up (for seemingly a long time) that we are something that is truly affected by the coming and going of the phenomenal realm, therefore it can seem to take time. But the fact is that every time we have to do the work of picking up the false identity about ‘I’ …, although it can seem very natural; just like for a smoker it can seem very natural to pick up a cigarette and light it, it can seem actually more relaxing that way, more effortless that way. So, that is what is being pointed to, that because it has become a habit to us to pick up the identity, therefore it can seem like this. Many report that ‘It just happens’ when this comes. And to them I say ‘Okay, it just happened. It is fine. But at least, now, what is it that You are?’ And during Satsang (even just once) if you can come to this recognition, then just like this, you say ‘When I read a verse like this, it is so clear that I am not this’. That much is good Prasad [a gift] for one Satsang. That one moment, you see? That one moment. Because that one little bit of insight, that one moment, is cleaning up the false idea.

In the play, what are we moving towards? We are moving towards that place where when these things come, events happen and the interpretation of those comes, then mostly we are just able to let them come and go; if not just laugh at them or something like that.

So, how does it come to that point? For somebody who is over the addiction, when the thought comes and says ‘Would you like a cigarette?’ You say ‘No. Why would I want to spoil my lungs, why would I want to do that?’ In the same way as the mind comes with this offer. The same offer would seem so compelling because of the habit that was built up (over I don’t know how many

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million lifetimes; you don’t even have to get into those things). So, don’t bother with how long it has been since you picked up this habit. It’s just that we can be grateful that at least now we have come to this place where we are looking at this habit. We have some distance from it.

And I know that those moments, those times where it does get picked up, it can seem more intense because our sensitivity is increasing. For somebody who has not (again, I don’t know why I’m using this metaphor) for somebody who has not smoked for a long time to suddenly have a drag from a cigarette would feel very painful, I am sure. Because since our sensitivity is increasing, then when we pick up identification again it can seem more painful, it can seem like it is stronger. Sometimes what happens is (in the design of the play itself) to make sure you don’t pick up any complacency or arrogance, it can seem like ‘My whole life is turning upside down’. Events seem to become stronger, the interpretation of these events seem to get stronger.

Many times, we come to Satsang expecting our worldly life to improve in some way. Many times, we come and we are just squeezed; everything that we believed about ourselves is getting squeezed out of us. But as you continue with this rehab, as you continue with this Satsang, you will come to a point (whether we believe it right now or not, we will come to a point) of pure gratitude for all of these events; even that which squeezed us the most.

When we read Ashtavakra, when we come to Satsang and we See (actually, even without these; in a moment we can See): The greater aspect of Me is That which is the witness of this entire movement. Most of us in Satsang can see this very simply. And yet, for many of us, as we get back into day-to-day life it can seem like ‘Oh, these things!’ Still it gets us.

So, the problem is not so much that it comes and it goes. The problem is that when it comes, it seems to have a hold over us, it seems to mean something for us, it seems to affect us or hurt us in some way.

As, again and again, we are clarifying everyday ‘What is this I? Who am I?’ then you see that the one that is affected actually doesn’t exist. It is just a set of sensations, a set of emotions, a set of judgements, a set of interpretations which are playing now within my Being. This is the whole point of Ashtavakra; otherwise Ashtavakra also would have said just one verse and finished with it. So, although the recognition is instantaneous, it is the momentum of conditioning which is getting replaced.

Two or three things that come up about conditioning:

One is that because it has been built up over a long period of time, it can seem like it takes a long time to go. That is why we need to repeat these things, we need to look again and again at what we Are.

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Second thing is that because it is like this does not mean that we make a plan about of how to get rid of it. It only means that, in the Right Now, what are you believing yourself to be? It is all about the Right Now. Because actually Right Now you are empty of all conditioning.

This can also sound contrary to what I am saying, but it is not. I will elaborate on this. You are empty of all conditioning Right Now …, but the instant we pick up a condition about ourself, it can seem like we are not just picking up that condition but it can seem like I am picking up my entire basket of conditioning. So, it plays like this. The mind’s game is like this. It is not that when you pick up just this condition right now [For example] ‘I want a chocolate cake’ …, it is not just the ‘I want a chocolate cake’ condition that gets picked up. It is not that ‘I Am just I Am and my only condition is that I want chocolate cake; I am that which wants chocolate cake’. It is not that. When I pick up the idea that ‘I want chocolate cake’ the whole idea of this individual ‘I’ is picked up. This individual ‘I’ already has the sense of separation, it already has a sense of all the previous desires, all the previous grievances, all the opposites of forgiveness, sincerity, kindness, truth; all of that is part of the condition of this ‘I’.

So, there is good news …, and there is bad news. The good news is much greater than the bad news. [Chuckles] The good news is that, in this moment, we start the moment empty of all condition. It is the best news actually. And this is true! It is true until you start to think about it. You remain empty till you start to think about it. In spite of whatever the sensations might be, we remain empty of condition. But it can seem like one condition (‘Why does this one say it like this? Or, why is this one like this? Why can’t he or she listen to Father properly in Satsang?’) some condition like that and the whole separate identity, the whole idea I have about myself, seems to come back. So, that is the play of the good news and the bad news.

But why is it the best news? Because in this moment again, it is empty; finished. It is like the ‘3- D’ addiction [Duality, Desire, Doership] has already happened, but the thoughts of the temptation keep coming back to us; and this feeling, this idea that [this aspect of] Consciousness itself has that ‘If I pick this up it could have some meaning for me, it is relevant, it is true for me’.

So, that is why these terms like (when we look at a term like) ‘forgiveness’ it can seem like a very normal thing. Everybody says ‘forgive, forgive’. But actually, there is something very deep in that, because as we discover what we Are we find this One, this Being, which actually cannot have a grievance. It Sees everything happening within Itself. All is a movement of Its own Light. Or your recognition could be ‘Not even this I am. I am That which is the witness even of Being, completely unconcerned, untouched by any of this. How can I have a grievance against my own aspect…, which might be playing out as some relationship, or something else?’ So, forgiveness is this kind of free passage. I read somewhere a very beautiful definition of forgiveness is to give thoughts or conditions or grievances about that one free passage. They come and they go. So, they are not about Me. No grievance is truly about You.

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That’s why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said very beautifully actually (he was talking about some kundalini awakening or something with someone and he said) ‘Why bother with all this? I have given you the Self-inquiry which takes care of everything that you have to experience on your spiritual path. So, if Kundalini has to happen, it will happen. If forgiveness has to come, it will come. If lust has to go, it will go. If greed has to reduce, it will reduce’. All of this; just by Self-inquiry, just by this recognition of who I truly Am. The only way that Consciousness has designed to make Itself feel like it is suffering is through this identification with thoughts.

So, now what can happen is, as we feel that we are empty now, the mind has a trump card. The mind’s trump card is what? [Saying things like]: ‘Yes, yes, you are empty now, you are with Ananta, you are reading Ashtavakra, the Guru’s Presence is with you, you are empty now; fine. But, what about yesterday? You got so angry with your mother-in-law’ …, or something. [Laughs] So, in that moment, what happens to the emptiness? We picked up a condition which was ‘But what happened yesterday?’ as if there was an individual ‘I’ yesterday which continues here today. So, that is how it works.

That’s why I say ‘Okay, it’s fine. At least in Satsang, at least in the inquiry, for a few moments can we remain empty of even these conditions about what happened yesterday, and how is it going to happen after this’. Otherwise, many times it can happen that we are in Satsang, but we are still thinking about the past and we are still hoping that something will improve about the future. Whereas all that I am saying is:

What about Now? What about this Here and Now?

I used to say very often that the arch-nemesis is ‘the checker guy’. The checker guy (you heard of it?) Many of you heard of this ‘checker guy’ who was making this report card about yourself. He is keeping track: today so many ‘enlightenment points’…, so many stars. [Chuckles] 5-star enlightenment. Today is three demerits, three black dots because you got angry. So, this checker guy, this one who is making the report card constantly, is the one. [Arch-nemesis] Because I say to this one ‘Please, do the self-inquiry’ or ‘Just look at what is Now’. [And the checker guy says]: ‘Father, I am 90% looking at what is Now and 10% looking at what is past’. You see? Any instruction that you give it, it will make it into a checking, it will make it into a benchmark. And this is truly the bane of the spiritual seeker. The spiritual seeker feels like by doing x-y-z, by coming to a particular level, that ‘I will come here’. And it feels like (the way we did in high school, the way we did in college) ‘I will do it that way’ which is that ‘Okay, yesterday I knew half of World War II. I will start in and now I will learn the rest. I will make progress on my previous insights’.

Here, I say ‘Okay, your most pristine previous insights, awakening experience, can become a part of your spiritual ego. So, remain empty of that. You are complete Right Here, Right Now. The checker guy…, whatever it is saying is meaningless about the reality which you are ‘tasting’ about yourself Now. And it has just a few tricks up its sleeve. The most important one is ‘Yes,

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yes, this is fine now, but yesterday, you know, this happened’ or ‘This is good. I hope this doesn’t go away after Satsang’. And again, we move away from THIS and we create a limited identity about ourself, and we want to cater to that one. Forget about that one; it is better. You leave that one to me.

The one that needs spiritual progress, the one that wants to be a certain way, leave that one to me. All that you have to do is follow what I am saying in this moment. If you are in Satsang, if you are open to the words of Satsang, all inquiry, all surrender is happening; nothing you have to do. So, in Satsang, nothing to do and outside Satsang everything is my [Guru’s] problem. That is the simplest way to live.

Then if the ‘But’ comes…, ‘But, but, but…, what about this?’ [Then]: ‘Take it up with my Father. It is his problem, he has told me.’

Then, the mind will come. I am just sharing some of the tricks so that we can see them, so we notice them and then we don’t fall for them that easily. The mind will come and say ‘Father was talking about spirituality; he was not talking about the real world. He can’t take care of my life in that way, he can’t pay for the bills, he can’t take care of taking my children from here to there’. But it is not that. There is no ‘real world’ and ‘Satsang world’. It’s another very powerful trick of the mind that says ‘Yes, yes, in Satsang it is different but when I go to the ‘real world’ or in my day-to-day life, then something changes’. Nothing changes. In reality, nothing changes. It’s just that a little bit of the energetic support which you get by being in the Presence of Satsang can seem to not be there at those times…, but actually the reality of You remains unchanged. So, the words of Satsang, the surrender, the ‘letting it be’ is applicable whether you are in Satsang or whether you are interacting with the grocer, it doesn’t really matter.

That is the best part of having a Guru. [Laughs] The best part of having a Guru is that everything is his problem. If we have a Guru, and we continue to make things our problem, then it is like …, you bought the best car for yourself, or you inherited the best car or it was given to you, and still you are hugging and puffing every day to work; walking and running to work. [Chuckles]

What is a better example? Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] had a better example. He said ‘To get into the train and to keep running, thinking that I will get to my destination faster, is folly’. So, having a Guru is to get on the ‘Guru Train’. Nothing for you to do, really. And what do I mean by this? Especially don’t check on your spiritual progress. It is not your problem anymore.

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What ‘Give It to The Guru’ Means

Q:You say ‘Give it to the Guru’. Right? I know a lot of people that follow Satsang and I watched Mooji so much before I discovered you a couple of weeks ago, and probably around

2013 I was folding clothes and that’s when I did my deep inquiry and I had my experience, my enlightenment experience where I felt light; that everything and everybody described before. Nothing was there and I had that nothingness and I space. And I know that when I did have that experience, that’s when I totally, totally, totally let go of everything; even Jesus, God. I just let everything go. Right? And when you say ‘Give it to the Guru’ it scares me a little bit. I guess because I’ve always been conditioned to just turn to Jesus. So, ‘Give it to the Guru’ is like ‘Am I idolizing Mooji? Am I idolizing him? Am I going to burn in hell?’ But I know when I had that experience it was right, and I know you’all words are so true, but it’s like, I’m scared to dive deep inside. You know?

A: Say that last part again?

Q:I’m scared to dive deep and totally give it to the Guru. Right? But I kind of know that that’s the way to do it. You know? And I know that it’s really just that simple; to just trust in the words. But it’s scary because what if trusting in his words is gonna be causing me to burn in hell? [Chuckles] I think like that. And I even heard something…, somebody was talking to [Sri Nisargadatta] Maharaj in one of the videos I was listening to and he said that…, he said ‘I just trust my Guru’s words’. And I just stuck with that and I just trusted my Guru. There’s a big part of me that just wanna trust you guys and there’s a BIG LOVE and it’s…, just that small part is just like …, I can hear my Gramma talking to me like ‘Boy, you gonna burn in hell!’ [Laughs]

A: [Laughs] I can hear her. As you say that, I can hear her.

Q:So, that’s that…, with totally ‘Trust in the Guru’ there’s a fear here. And then, the simplicity thing. I wanted to say something when you were reading the second verse because that’s what’s been on my heart lately.

A:Maybe we pause on this point first; and we look at it and then look at the second point because my memory is so bad that by the time you finish the second one, I would have forgotten the first point. So, let’s look at this question. I love it very much because it’s so sweet, it’s so innocent and it’s shared with so much integrity, so I really appreciate this question.

So, ‘Turn to Jesus’ and ‘Give it to the Guru’ actually means precisely the same thing. There is just no difference between these two…, at least in the way I mean it. Because ‘Give it to the Guru’ doesn’t mean to give it to a physical embodiment of something.

Okay, let’s look at this a bit more in detail. What is the physical embodiment of a Master? The physical embodiment of a Master is just that instrument which is totally being true to the light of

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its Presence; that unassociated Being. The Presence is the Godly Presence, Being, I Am, Consciousness. So, Jesus deserves our full reverence because he was completely an instrument to this Presence. Guruji [Sri Mooji] deserves our full reverence because he is completely in service to the Light of this Presence. You see? The Light is the same. It is One Being: I Am. So, the Master’s Presence, when we say ‘Give it to the Guru’ is not the physical embodiment. This person sitting in front of you, this body sitting in front, is just like any other body. So, it is not the body but what it embodies, what it represents.

Why do I always say that the Presence of a living Master is one of the greatest gifts which we can get? It is just that since we are so used to identifying with name and form. So, suppose I say to you ‘I have this great friend and I feel like you would be best friends with this one. But you can’t see him or talk to him’. [Chuckles] Then you would say ‘But how do I create this friendship? How do I create this friendship, Ananta? What are you saying?’ I say ‘No, no, it is fine. You can’t see him or talk to him; just trust me, it is there…, and that’s your best friend’. You see? Then you say ‘But it’s so difficult to make a relationship like this’. If I say ‘Okay, I found somebody that you’ll get along with’ (even at a phenomenal level) …., you’ll say ‘Ananta,

can you send me their Facebook profile so I can see them, I can add them on my Facebook page?’ Because our habit has become only to be able to associate with name and form initially.

Before we get to the formless, we need something that connects us in terms of form and in terms of name. So, even in the paths which are not idol-istic (like Hinduism) …, even in the paths which are not idol-istic, when we go to church, we find a statue of Jesus, we find Jesus on the cross or at least we find a symbol, like the cross. Even from the Muslims, we will find verses from the Koran, or a photo of Medina. Why? Because although God is formless…, for us (because our habit has become to relate to form) we need some sort of form to be able to relate. If your Grandma told you to ‘Turn to Jesus’ (you’d never seen a picture, you’d never seen a movie, you never went to church, never saw him on the cross; nothing) then you’d find it very difficult. ‘How do I turn to Jesus, Ma? It’s just …, I don’t know what that is’. So, in that way.

So, the living Master, the body of the living Master, is the purest embodiment of this Presence. That’s why even Guruji [Sri Mooji] says it’s the same thing; Christ-Consciousness, Krishna- Consciousness, Shiva-Being. You see, all these are different terminology, different ways of representation depending on what appeals to you but pointing to the same thing. That’s why I said that ‘Turning to Jesus’ and ‘Giving it to the Guru’ actually means exactly means the same thing. It doesn’t matter what you refer to it as. It is what is points to.

When Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi was leaving his body, his disciples, his devotees said to him ‘Bhagavan, please don’t go. What are we going to do without you?’ And he said ‘Where would I be? Where would I go? I’m always here’. The body went. The representation went, in that way. But he is still there.

The Presence that is being pointed to is Your Own Divine Presence, is Your Own Holy Presence.

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So, when we are turning towards God, when we are turning towards Jesus or Guruji, this inward movement, moving away from the false identity into our Holy Presence, into our Divine Presence…, whether we call it Holy Spirit or we call it God or we call it Jesus or we call it Shiva, we call it Krishna, we call it Guruji; it doesn’t really matter.

All the religions of the world, I love very much. And I enjoy Hinduism very much because here, based on your temperament…, if you’re naughty, you have a god. You can go to Krishna, because he is the most naughty god that you will encounter. If you feel you enjoy righteousness and doing the right thing, then you have the form of Ram. That’s why…, many actually in the West get confused about Hinduism where we say ‘God is formless. There is One God which is formless’ then why do we have all these gods?

I had a friend once say to me ‘How can you pray to someone who steals butter?’… [Chuckles] (Krishna, as a child, he used to run around and steal everyone’s butter) ‘…while at the same time, you say God is formless?’ So, I explained to him that all of this is a representation that we use to come closer to our own formless Presence, to our own formless reality. So, it’s a democratic system based on what attributes you enjoy, by what temperament you enjoy. We have so many millions of representations [Chuckles] you can pick one.

Now, Jesus of course is a most beautiful representation of this Godly Presence; so full of love, so full of pure knowledge, and yet so loving; willing to sacrifice himself for the sins of all humanity. Such a beautiful representation.

In fact, when I met Guruji [Sri Mooji] the first time, I felt like I’m meeting one of these Sages from the past like Ashtavakra or Dattatreya with the Love of Jesus. And I even told him this.

I want to share something with you that’s coming up to share. Actually, what happened is that my wife was there the first time I was there, and she sat in Satsang. And there was not so much inclination to hear the words then. And our two kids were very small then so she was getting irritated because people were giving her ‘the look’ …, you know, ‘Can’t you keep your kids quiet’ or something like that. So, she got irritated and she left the Satsang hall and she went and waited downstairs. And in those days, Satsang was very rare for me, so I said ‘Come what may, I’m staying in Satsang’. But I knew I’ll have big trouble when I go back down. [Laughs] I knew I’d have big trouble. So, what happened was then Satsang got over. Guruji came down. All the people started coming down. I was at the top of the stairs, he was at the bottom of the stairs, and he had sat down by then. And this old watchman came to him who had not maybe bathed for months; his dress was all dirty and tired. And Guruji was loving him like a baby, as if he’s his own baby, just loving him like that. And then I saw my wife was over there sitting in a corner and she was crying, seeing this. She was so, so touched by this Being who had so much love for someone who could seem so repulsive almost. So, in that way, Guruji broke that barrier of ‘Advaita-sounding Satsang’ with her. And ever since that day, [softly spoken] she’s loved him more than anything. So, this love of Jesus…, this I’ve only ‘tasted’ in living form in the form of Guruji. And speaking of Jesus actually reminded me of this.

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So, you don’t have to worry. It’s not a conflict at all; whether you call him Guruji, whether you call him Moojiji, whether you call him Jesus, whether you call him Ramana, whether you call him Ashtavakra. Call him whatever you want. It’s all pointing to the same; just as all rivers go to the same ocean. (We also call our oceans differently, but actually, one body of water, isn’t it?) So, if Grandma doesn’t understand this, you tell her it’s completely fine; I’m praying to Jesus. It’s the same thing. [Smiles radiantly]

Okay, you had a second part to your question?

Q:It’s just that simple. And that’s what’s been on my heart the last couple of days; the simplicity. It’s just that simple. You know? And I guess for the mind, it’s hard to believe that. But it’s just that simple; to live in Grace. And it’s just kind of hard to get that, I guess. But I know it’s true. That’s the paradox. [Laughs] But I know it’s that simple. What else could you do but live in Grace?

And everything you felt about Mooji, I feel the same way. That’s what attracted me to him. And the experience vs. somebody telling me. You know. So…., I trust you. [Radiant smile] I trust

you. [Silence] I trust you. You’re my Guru. I give it all to you.

A:So sweet. Thank you, my dear. Very, very beautiful. I so much enjoyed having this interaction with you.

And this trust, this trust, it’s very beautiful. I don’t make anything a pre-requisite to come into Satsang. Nothing is a pre-requisite. But I do know that having a bit of this trust is really helpful. Because what happens with a bit of this trust is you hear with some openness; then when you hear with some openness, then you just follow a little bit and it helps; even in a phenomenal way, it helps. Something helps. Something becomes more spacious, something becomes lighter, something is seen more clearly. And then that trust develops. That trust develops and that trust grows. And then, along the way you find …, (and I’m not talking about just this representation of Ananta; it could be with anyone, any True Master) …, as this trust develops then along the way you find the Presence of Love is also there. This Love also comes. And then, for most of us, we truly discover devotion. Devotion is what? Just this trust mixed with this Love is devotion. And to ‘taste’ this devotion, after we are open to the words of the Master, after we inquire along with him or we surrender to his Presence, then Love is bound to come as a fragrance of that. As this trust grows, Love comes. And that is what we call devotion.

This is very different from most worldly relationships, because in worldly relationships many times we could love someone a lot but we don’t trust them. [Chuckles] Or we trust someone a lot but we don’t love them. So, that which is called devotion is that which is a beautiful mix of this trust and this Love…, and that’s what Satsang is all about.

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When we have this devotion, then it’s so easy to say ‘Everything is my Father’s problem’. [Silence]

Actually, my Father [Mooji Baba] here is so kind, even phenomenally. It’s like he met me the first time, he picked me up and he’s not let me down from his lap since then. Everything that has happened through here has happened on his lap. [Chuckles] And it’s the same Father, same Jesus, same Krishna, same Ram, same Guruji.

Very good.

Q:Thanks.

A:Thank you.

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“I Am Awareness But … Sometimes It Gets Obscured”

So, it can’t be that simple? The mind will say ‘It can’t be that simple’. We’ve have heard stories of meditators who meditated on tops of mountains for thousands of years. And there were meditators who meditated so much that there were anthills formed on top of them and people didn’t even recognize that there is a Sage meditating over there; it just looked like there is an anthill. These kinds of stories we have heard. So, if those had to do all of that, how can Ananta now sit here and tell all of us that what that Sage was after is already here, before you can even intend to meditate. Is it possible?

Q: [Inaudible]

A:He is saying the mind has a story. He’s saying that mind is saying ‘In your last birth, you must have done all that already, so all the back-log is done’. Yes? ‘Now you are ready’. Okay, let us take that story. As far as stories go it is not so bad. So now, once you have played this game (it is a very nice one) …, a couple of times, we’ve played this, where I said ‘Complete the sentence ‘I am Awareness, but….’ then fill in the blank. There is a blank after ‘but’. How many have the ‘but’? Don’t be scared. You [Nodding at someone in the room] have the ‘but’. What is it?

Q:I am Awareness but I choose to get distracted and move away into phenomenality. At times, I feel that vastness and complete undifferentiated nothingness but most of the time I drift from that. I am stuck in attention. Attention flows, wanders and gets captured on whatever the thing is in front of me.

A:Very good, let’s stay with this. I am very happy with what he says, so let us stay with this. He says ‘Sometimes I see this unlimited vastness and at other times, my attention just gets caught up in other worldly things. So, right now I am also seeing all these worldly things. All these bodies are sitting in front of me, there is a computer in front of me, attention is here. So, what happened to That which witnessed both; this vastness…, and now which witnesses the world?

Many times, we can get the idea that we are experiencing, or witnessing, or perceiving some vast space or some big white light, completely unlimited. Because the mind hears these words and it is happy to collaborate in this way. And sometimes we may experience our own Presence in this way. We feel like this is the most beautiful. And the mind will say ‘When it is that, then you are free; when it is not that, then you are not free. But, this is not true. Just the movement of attention doesn’t mean that You move. That which attention reports to remains the same.

So, even in this…, the ‘I’ is such a chameleon as Guruji [Sri Mooji] says, it attaches to the attention also, which is such an intimate tool. So, when it goes somewhere, we say ‘I went’. Now, where is That to which attention is reporting? What happened to that one?

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Q:It is still here, but in my experience, it gets covered up because the attention flits to the different things and it gets covered up. Many times, the attention falls back on itself and I experience myself as That-ness and then the attention flows and that aspect of me flows out again. It is still there. ‘I Am’ still there but it gets covered up by the attention…

A:So, I have some good news for you. Let’s take another way of putting the same thing what he is saying. He is saying that ‘I find myself as if it is an outward movement or an inward movement and at times there comes an obstacle in the middle’. It gets covered up means it gets blocked. So, what I am saying to you is the Truth of what You are is neither an outward movement, not an inward movement. Therefore, the movement of attention (although it can be an aide sometimes in the self-inquiry, in the recognition of what You are) it is not a prerequisite that those who are enlightened or those who are Sages, their attention must only be in Awareness itself. Then why would they wake up into this waking-state called the world? You see, they can exist. Nothing is experienced, without our attention on it. So, when Awareness or the Self is done playing the game of this dynamism, of Its dynamic aspect of appearance as the world, then it might not ever wake up.

So, the fact that there is something that still wants to experience itself in this phenomenal way in the waking state will come. What we are saying is that no movement, either left or right, or in or out, is required for you to be YourSelf.

Therefore, the Truth can never be covered up. It can, at best play a pretense; it can, at best, be a façade which all of us have been playing.

This is another very, very popular mind trick. It is one of the trump cards of the mind. It tells you that ‘Ah, that experience which you had, in which there was nothing at all, it is just unlimited space, when you stay in that experience then you will be free’. It comes and says like that. I am saying to you that no matter what appearances are coming and where attention is going, you will remain unlimited irrespective.

Now, let us take a simple example so we can relate to this in a simpler way. What if you always thought, or you were always told by everyone (your parents, your family, all the people you met, and the voice in your mind) that actually the sun comes up from the West; this is what you always believed. Then you meet someone, a rare one comes on your path, and he says ‘What are you saying? The sun doesn’t come from the West, it comes from the East’. Then you say ‘No, no it can’t be’. And if you trust this one…, he says ‘Okay, tomorrow morning, wake up at this time and you check’. So, you check and ‘Ah, the sun came from the East’. You say ‘Maybe, it is only today. Maybe this one did some magic on me, or maybe his Presence is so magical that it is so easy to check if the sun comes from the East’. All of the things that we hear from in Satsang: ‘It is so easy in Satsang’. Then you say ‘Okay’. You check again, and check again, and check again. You have checked a hundred times.

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Now the mind will come with its trick and say ‘You have to be in that checking state otherwise the sun will come from the West. It is because you are looking that the sun is coming out from the East’. It is not true! Whether the insight is there or not, whether you are checking this or not, whether attention is going to thousands of objects in the world or it is remaining unattached to any phenomena, You Are the Self.

So, let us see what it means when you say (or someone says) that ‘It gets covered up’. What is this process of covering up? This is what we are discovering. Isn’t it? Now, all of you, move your attention to wherever it wants to go and tell me how the Self went away? Don’t try to control your attention, let it go wherever it wants. Tell me how the Self went? Did it go? Did something get covered up? No, attention got attracted to some objects, some phenomenal content was perceived; where did You go? Did You lose YourSelf? Nobody can lose it. Because if you lost YourSelf, then who is looking at attention going here and there? You are still here, the witness of even attention.

So, attention goes. [Gesturing with his hand moving back and forwards] Now what happens? The voice of the interpreter comes. Suppose now attention went on a bodily phenomenon called pain, or anger, frustration (any of these popular ones). Sensation is there, attention is going to it; no trouble, nothing got covered up. You don’t find an individual experiencer of this pain. But the voice comes and says ‘See now, till you are free from this anger, till you are free from this frustration, you will not be free.’ When we instantly buy this concept about ourselves, then it seems like our individualized identity comes to the fore again. Without this, there is no covering up.

Wherever your attention might wander, you will never lose the Self. Even in giving the belief to the thought, you actually don’t lose the Self; you just attach. So, if I is the Self (I-Being, this I Am) and then with this concept ‘I must be free of pain, or I must be free of anger, or I must be free of lust, or I must be free of something’ …, Consciousness then poses as if It is something now limited.

So, this is the getting duped by illusion. It is not in the play of attention alone; it is attention working in co-ordination with belief. If you have a bank locker; one key is with you, the other key is with the banker and you go to the bank to open the locker, both have to be there. You turn one and the banker turns the other one. So, both attention and belief have to work in co- ordination for you to pose as if you are something limited.

That is why when the Zen Master said ‘Let all thoughts come and go, just don’t serve them tea’ he did not say ‘Don’t let any thoughts come’. All that is coming can come; don’t serve them the tea of your belief, don’t identify. With what? Only the next one [thought]. I have made it super simple for you …, because your starting point is this freedom.

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The Guidance May Seem Contradictory at Times

Q:That is what Papaji would say: ‘No effort’. Any effort is exactly the same as what you are saying. Any effort is the same wave of either doing or not doing. It is not me.

A:It is tricky, actually. I discovered also in the last many years that there is no one instruction that just works. I wish there was because then I could just repeat that all the time.

Now, what happens is that even in something like ‘no doing, no effort’ the mind can even take that on (it is so tricky) and say ‘Ah, see? Now he is asking me to check on what is here now, but I am not the doer, so I can’t make that effort’. So, that voice of limitation can take on even the most pristine of pointings and corrupt it in its game. So, sometimes the Master has to say ‘Yes, drop all effort’.

Let us take Papaji’s example: Sometime the Master said ‘No effort, drop the search, drop it; nothing at all’. On the other hand, he said ‘Vigilance till my dying breath’. Now, if you hear both of these together you are confused. ‘Right, okay. Now, vigilance till my dying breath but what happened to the no effort?’

So, because the point is to get to this neutrality of no movement (neither left nor right, no looking up or down) sometimes the Master gives one back from this side, sometimes the Master gives one back from that side. That is why the words of Satsang can seem to be so much full of contradiction.

We got used to this in school, etc., to a linear truth, to a truth which will go in a straight line and have various gradations and will ultimately get to the ultimate truth through that. In Satsang, it is all round-round; there is no straight line.

How to point you to where you are already? I have to take one step left and one step right because you don’t believe me when I say You Are That Already. [Laughs] So, the pointing of Satsang will always be like this. You will always end up where you started (unfortunately, or fortunately) [Chuckles] because to discover YourSelf…., You, Right Now…, is enough. Not one

step, not one intention, not one movement is needed.

Yet, even to check this, it can seem like effort for some. That is why Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharishi said (and Papaji also said) that if it feels like to come to effortlessness takes a bit of effort, then make that effort.

Again, it can sound contradictory because You Are That. You have not left the destination. But then, with this pointing, we are not falling into the mind trick. Because Advaita can also give the ego the biggest defenses for itself. It can put up the biggest barriers to our insight, to our checking about what we are, because of the ‘level confusion’ that can be there.

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What is happening is we are coming to this beautiful ‘I don’t know’. If somebody says ‘Ananta, can you tell me how to bring people to enlightenment, how to bring people to freedom?’ I have to say I don’t know. It is just something that happens when, in this play of this resonance, this meeting…, some words just arise from here that seem to point this one on what needs to be pointed to. And yet the next questioner would come and the guidance can be exactly the opposite of that. Because there is no answer in that way. There is also no truth in that way. So, it can seem like we are completely powerless and we don’t know. But I have discovered that it is the most beautiful. Because that which we know mentally is like a defense. When this wall is not there then nothing can be attacked. There is no strategy, template, plan for freedom, ultimately.

What plan does the drop in the ocean need to become the ocean? We need the discovery that there was never an individual drop anyway; it has always been one ocean.

I have done this often and it works. Many of us (whether we say it out loud or not) we have this desire to share Satsang. So, I say ‘Okay, we have this desire to share Satsang and all you have to do is pretend as if you are talking to a drop which is claiming that it wants to get back in the ocean, but it is already the ocean’. Whatever you tell the drop is the words of Satsang:

See that You already Are That.

See that You don’t have to go anywhere.

See that all the ups and downs are happening on their own; you are not doing them.

It is as simple as that.

Those that have come to this Seeing that it is all this One, one Being, playing in all various aspects…, they also may be left with the memory of how it played out before this insight was so clear, so then they can guide others because they remember that ‘There was a time that all of this was believed here also’.

Q: So beautiful. Thank you, Father.

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“I Am Awareness But … I Feel More Attracted to Suffering”

Q: I am Awareness but…. I feel more attracted to suffering.

A:I’m glad she said it, you see, because if I say it, then you take it in the wrong way. You say ‘Because Consciousness actually is not with Its individuality, not done with Its tasting the taste of suffering yet; it doesn’t want to come into this simplicity, where it becomes a struggle to suffer’. At the root of it, it is this.

It’s like you buy tickets to a merry-go-round. [Gesticulating with his finger in a circle] And every time you get on it, you get giddy and nauseous. But the seller of the ticket always comes and says ‘No, no, Madam (or Sir), we’ve changed this ride now, its nausea-free, its ten rupees’ and gives us the belief that ‘This time the ride will be better. This time I will make something out of this ride, it will be meaningful and relevant’. And we get on this ride, and all we end up getting is giddy. Which is just this: something still wants the taste of that attempt.

Like the story of the prodigal son, we can have this sense that there is a chance that we can give this individuality some meaning. ‘I’m going to make it, I’m going to show my Father that I can make it on my own.’ That is the ego’s voice. ‘I can make it as a separate individual.’ You see, it knows the inevitability of the death of this body; it knows. And yet is says ‘No, if I have a statue in my name [Laughing] then I will make myself immortal. If I have a building named after me, then I will make myself immortal’.

The Truth is plainly obvious, even to the mind actually. Yet it makes every attempt to take the attributes of God, the attributes of Consciousness and replicate it, in a personal way.

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The Finite Drop Which Merges Was Never Finite

Q: In the example of the drop, there is a finite drop which merges. Am I the finite drop?

A:In that example of the drop, actually the drop is in the ocean already. But it seems to have a voice. Okay, let’s take a simpler example. Let’s take this glass of water. [Picks up a glass of water] It’s only as if there is one part of it, one aspect of this water, that starts speaking as if it is an individual. It seems to attach itself with some molecules or some boundary and it says ‘Oh, this is what I am. The rest of it is not me’. Our Consciousness, our Being, is like this. It is the infinite ocean in which all these appearances are coming and going, including the appearance of this form that we look at as this body; all of this is there. One Consciousness. One Being. And yet, the ability to mark itself as something limited is only through belief or identification with the mind.

It is as if Consciousness designed this play, this leela, in this way. And then it also designed it in a way where it said to Itself ‘Ah, but it’s so beautifully designed’. Consciousness doesn’t need modesty. [Chuckles] Consciousness is saying ‘It’s so beautifully designed, this leela, that I myself might come to a point where I get confused about my true identity. So, let me, in the design of this play, also create these ‘alarm clocks’ which will show up from time to time and remind myself that I am not this limited entity’.

These are just metaphors, okay? Not to be taken seriously. I’m just pointing out how this play of the world seems to function; Consciousness Itself playing as if It is deluded, as if It is duped by illusion (as Janaka said) …, and Consciousness Itself playing the role of Ashtavakra and helping the seeming-others come out of this play of individuality. So, the person was never actually born. The limited, finite being never actually existed. And that is so obvious because if I ask you ‘In what way is the body concerned about enlightenment?’ …, most of you will say ‘Body is unconcerned’. So, where is that one that is concerned about enlightenment, about money in the bank, about manager at work, about anything? That one just doesn’t exist; even at a phenomenal level. It is just an idea about ourself.

There are, of course, many different lines of teaching, many different pointings. And a popular one is this, where you are an aspect of Consciousness but you are not Consciousness Itself. Now, that is a very popular line of teaching but it is not aligned with the experience that I have had about MySelf. …[Silence]… Although I can see some benefit of it, in that, at least the idea of your own being as an individual entity is seen to be false even there; whether you admit to yourself being Consciousness and the Source of Consciousness Itself, or a part or a drop within Consciousness. The end of suffering is the end of individuality. And then you can rest with Your experience about Your discovery about YourSelf. At least, that much all of us can be certain about; at least about that entity which wants something (that is the voice of doership, of duality, of desire) that there is no tangibility of such entity. There is nobody like that.

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“I Am Awareness But … Sometimes I’m Unaware of Awareness”

A:Okay, we were playing ‘I am Awareness, but…’ [A ‘fill in the blank’ game] I am Awareness but…, or I am Self but…

Q:I am Awareness but sometimes I am unaware of the Awareness.

A:At that time, what happens?

Q:I’m just with the thoughts…

A:You are just with the thoughts, or what you might be implying is lost in thought; just one with the thoughts. Now, when you are lost in the thought or gone with the thoughts, that means the attention is with the thoughts. Now, who is the witness of this happening?

Q: [Inaudible]

A: But even to say that this happens… [Waving his hand]

Q: [Inaudible]

A:You forget about awareness, yes, but maybe you only forget about the concept of awareness. Just give me two minutes to explain this. You say there are times where it’s so clear ‘I am

Awareness. There are other times I am so caught up in my thoughts that Awareness is all forgotten, out the window’. [Chuckles] Even during that time, there is a witness of the play of you. [Her name]

Q: [Inaudible]

A:Yes, yes, but you are not saying that the rest of the time is a blank. You are saying that ‘The rest of the time I am lost in my thought’. So, even to see that ‘I am lost in my thought’ needs awareness. This substratum is not changing actually. It is the play of Consciousness which is sometimes playing as if it is unaffected, it is just Awareness; and sometimes playing as if it is you. [Her name] But this substratum didn’t go anywhere. That is You; no matter what is happening at the surface. So, if the entire ocean is You (sometimes high tide, sometimes low tide, sometimes just serene) as long as you keep identifying yourself with the surface it might feel like the ups and downs are still happening. Can you identify YourSelf as the witness of these ups and downs? [Silence] Whether it is up or down, in reality You don’t change. That is what I am trying to say.

If you had said, for example, that ‘I am Awareness, but am now feeling (or others telling me) that there are times when I am unawareness but I have never witnessed that time’ …, you are not

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saying that. You are saying ‘I can see that I get lost in my thoughts, I get caught up in my identity and then awareness seems to go for a toss’. But even this, you can only say because you are aware of these times.

Whatever the play might be (I might say something which you completely disagree with right now) but if I say something that makes you very angry, then would it be that awareness went away? Or just that the outward play of the whole play of anger coming and thoughts being believed? All of that might change; but at the core of it your reality remains unchanged. So, that itself gives us a lot of reassurance. Otherwise, it can feel like ‘I am on this wave sometimes, it’s so calm and serene and just Awareness unflappable; and sometimes I get so caught up in this head’.

So, I am asking you to just step back from that play of up and down. Don’t judge yourself on that basis. Judge yourself on the basis of the witness who witnesses both the ups and the downs. What happens to that one? It stays; unchanging. Nothing has happened.

So then, how the mind operates is this play of opposites. It says: ‘This was this; then the opposite of that is this. [Holds two fists meeting each other] And then you have to become completely, completely like this; and then you can say that you are free’.

I am actually not worried about what is happening at the surface level. Many of the Sages actually used to exhibit a lot of anger, and they have even cursed (I have taken examples). They have even been responsible for the deaths of thousands of Beings in their seeming anger (of course, an overall Grace, but that’s for another Satsang). But it is not the expression of all of this, these ups and downs of our human emotions or not, which is creating a benchmark about your reality.

Q:Sometimes, you know that you’ve got that space and you just do what you have to do. It just feels very authentic. Sometimes, you know you’re aware and sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s playing out from that authenticity. Now, when that happens, then suddenly there is a doubt. You are all over the place, you are not…

A:Yes. But the best news is always that in every moment, when you are even able to check like this and you have the space for this, what do you find yourself to be?

Q: This space.

A:So, it is like the sun coming from the East or West thing. We can have this idea that ‘When I am not looking then maybe the sun comes from the West’. But once you see that all of this is a movement of Consciousness which then we take on as if I am a personally responsible for how these things are turning out. Then we take on the idea of a limited identity who has a certain doership. So, if you take on the responsibility of always being the personification of Being, it is too much burden for anyone to carry. You don’t have to do that. You don’t bother with it at all.

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(I know it sounds strange to come to Satsang and I am saying don’t make the effort to be authentic to that Being that you discover. Let the world play out as it is playing (including this body/mind functioning) and then you will see that automatically. (And don’t even make that a benchmark. If you want, I won’t say it.) [Chuckles]

Q: Father, don’t say, don’t say…

A:[Laughs] …because it becomes a benchmark

Q:Yes.

A:It is not uncommon when we come into spirituality that we see all these beautiful Masters, we have read all the stories, we have heard about them. It can feel like ‘Yesterday I was fighting with this one about this minor thing, so who am I to be able to…?’ So, we can create these ideas about us and then we can try to live from this place; and that effort itself sounds like a big stone to carry. So, trying to live the life of an enlightened one, trying to live the life of an awakened Being (or even a nice person) is a big pain sometimes. [Chuckles]

Everything that is meant to unfold in this life you will find that the moment is already unfolding for us. We don’t have to take on this project. Just laugh and play…, or cry if you want. It’s okay.

This is what I meant when I said ‘Get on my train, then you don’t have to worry about where you are going and what you have to do on the train; whether you have to do some spiritual exercises every day, or you have to be a certain way to be entitled to first class compartment or something’. [You have to do] nothing! Everyone has a seat here. But you will struggle if you want to keep one leg in that train and one leg in this one. One leg trying to be a nice person or a particular type of person, trying to control the outcomes in this realm, or control anything at all in this realm; then you will struggle. Because in the Guru train, you are leaving all of that behind. Not that you will miss out on life or anything; it is just that you are leaving the ‘attachment to’…, you are leaving the guilt and the pride, the regret, the remorse, the resentment, the grievances. These things you are leaving.

Q:Since I have left my train … [Inaudible] … but I have somehow come to acceptance; that it’s inevitable. And it’s okay. But then, it feels hurt…, that ‘why?’ But that’s also okay.

A:If it is okay, it’s good. Usually my response would be that the ‘Why?’ question truly doesn’t have an answer because the ‘Why?’ question is usually asked from the perspective of individuality. Now, because there is no such individual actually, it can have these pretend answers (why, why) but actually there is none. All these answers are only meant to remove the question. But I feel like you have the ears enough to hear this, that ‘Why?’ actually doesn’t have an answer from a personal perspective, and from the perspective of Being, of Consciousness, it is just a play, it is entertainment. So, the ultimate (or only) meaning that can be given to ‘Why?’ is ‘Because it is part of the play.’ But that will appeal only from the perspective of Being.

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So, if you were caught up in your individuality and your best friend is not talking to you and I was to say ‘Oh, it’s part of the play’ you would feel very upset with me and say something like ‘What do you mean! That person was my best friend for twenty-five years and he is saying it is a play!?’ That is what I mean by ‘having the ears to hear it’. You have to be able to step back and see it from a universal perspective and see that there is no true answer to this ‘Why?’

Have you noticed (and I have said this before) the mind loves the question ‘Why?’ but the mind hates the question ‘Who?’ It is just one letter difference: the ‘Why?’ and the ‘Who?’ So, if you say ‘Why does this happen that I am losing people?’ If I were to straight-up-front say ‘But who is this happening to?’ [Making a face of consternation] You’d say ‘Oh, there is no way to have a conversation with you, man!’ It becomes like that. But the ‘Why?’ it loves. ‘Why is this happening?’

But what is more fundamental? ‘Why does this happen?’ Or ‘Who is this happening to?’

Once we identify who it is happening to then maybe the ‘why’ can be answered; possibly. So, just replace that one alphabet letter from ‘Y’ to ‘O’. Then you will see that a lot of clarity comes.

Like I said, we never know, in this realm, why something is happening. I don’t want to again give some answer but you really don’t know. Suppose that some have to leave to make space for those who are more in resonance in the Heart. So, we can give these lame answers because sometimes the ‘Why?’ needs an answer.

Q: [Inaudible]

A:This is the power of the ‘Who?’ question because it takes our perspective away from our limitedness to our unlimitedness, by a stepping back a step. From that perspective, all of this is a play of light and sound, time and space. All of this leela that is playing out in front of me is so beautiful, so Divine. It is amazing. And what does the mind try? ‘Why? Why are these people leaving?’ It is taking us away from the beauty of this moment.

This moment all of us are sitting here together in this strange room in Bangalore on Old Airport Road with all the traffic, everything. We collect from various parts of the world and we sit here and talk about these things which are out of this realm. There is so much wonder in this, so much joy just being in each other’s Presence. There is SO much beauty. But if you give it to the mind, mind will say ‘You have to figure out why this one is leaving you, why this is happening’.

So, this is the play.

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What is the Meaning of an Enlightenment Experience?

[The light in the room switches on]

Enlightenment? [Laughter] So, what is the meaning of an enlightenment experience? It would be just like this. And you have it and you say ‘Okay, that was it’. No experience is greater than YourSelf. I feel like the stories of the past do a great dis-service also because they make everything centered around this one experience; as if an experience itself makes us the Self and before that we are not the Self. If I was to say:

First, you lose YourSelf. Lose YourSelf and then come to me and ask about the Self.

Would you be able to do this project?

Just don’t ‘Be’. Don’t be YourSelf.

So, what is enlightenment? The recognition of the Self and the dropping of the false conditioning of the individuality. Isn’t it?

So, I’m saying: Truly lose the Self and then come to me looking for the Self.

Who can do it?

Don’t exist! I say: ‘Can you stop being?’

And nobody really…, (maybe one or two in a different way answered that they can) but actually nobody can say this.

This is the treasure [speaks in Hindi] which basically means ‘We have it. We’re looking everywhere for it. We’re not looking in our own heart, but it’s already here’.

It’s because we’re looking for it as if it can be something objective. The Self is the only discovery which we will make which is not objective. It is not phenomenal, as if you will find an object. There are many who have had a very sober insight into what they are and they’re very peaceful, very beautiful Lights. And there are many who have had great awakening experiences and lots of proclamations and then got caught up in great specialness and spiritual arrogance. Doesn’t matter. It’s not about spiritual arrogance. Because it is that which witnesses all things. It is not going anywhere.

Can you not be aware?

What is missing? You have to say honestly…, what is missing?

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Q: Then the recognition that I’m caught up in thought comes much later.

A:Yes. That much is enough. Because another thought will come and say ‘When it happens to you, you are not aware enough or attentive enough’. But if later all that you can say is that ‘I got caught up in thought’…, then it is enough. There is space to check; you check. It is enough.

As you come to Satsang, you will find…, (Okay, again, I don’t want to give you a benchmark)

…but you get the drift, isn’t it? You see, what happens is that something strong will come, something happens in the external environment, some feelings start to come, some thoughts come and we get caught up in them. Now, all that is passed. But the mind still has one more trump card in its hand, saying ‘See? You got caught up in that stuff’. Now we are getting caught up in that thought that we got caught up.

So, in the ‘tray’…, in the conveyor belt of thoughts [Referring to his analogy of the restaurant where the food comes around on a conveyor belt and you choose what you want and let the rest go by] …, these last ones are the ones that are ‘desserts’. Okay? They have the most calories [Chuckles] because they make conclusions about yourself. They make conclusions about at what level of spirituality you are; how free you are. They make benchmarks about how you are. What happened in the moment just happened. But when we buy these ideas, then we can feel like ‘Oh, I’m still not there yet; I get so caught up’. All of these are just thoughts. And they have more caloric value because they are filled to the brim with identity.

So, as our Master [Sri Mooji] says, leave our existence to existence; hand it over. Even at times if this body plays in a certain way; plays as if it is angry, as if it is frustrated, as if it is guilty, it’s okay. When you have the space to check on Who You Are, just See if You are untouched by any of this movement. That much is enough.

Keep coming to Satsang and whenever you have the space to, just check on this. You see, the mind will keep you caught up in the past like this; it will keep making report cards about yourself. That’s what I call it my arch-nemesis: the checker guy…, [Chuckles] checking and reporting because that’s the way we’ve been conditioned to be; in school, college, medical college. All our reporting has been based like this, isn’t it? ‘Today, you were a very good boy because you did all your assignments and…’ [Chuckles] The mind says it like this: ‘You’re still getting caught up in your thoughts’. That is also a thought.

We’ll leave this one to start with. It is enough. You say ‘The recognition that I am caught up in my thoughts comes much later’. This ‘much later’ also is enough. For me, it is enough. Don’t make yourself guilty about anything. Don’t make yourself unworthy about anything.

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When All Answers Are ‘I Don’t Know’

Q:Namaste Father, Namaste everybody. Actually, you were talking about ‘You are not the doer’ and I am in a phase where whatever question arises in my head, about spirituality or whatever, even in my daily life (which is included, of course) all the answers are ‘I don’t know’. All of them. Of course, my persona, my identity, is very affected by that because while I am evoking it, it raises some emotions. But I guess this is very new for me to not know, really not know; to a point where even during the day I don’t know what I want to do. [Laughs] So, at the beginning when I noticed this, it was like ‘Okay, let it go; this is part of the play apparently’. But now this has been like two, three weeks and now I am a bit starting to freak out because it has been like a little while for me. But there is rest and cuts. It is like a very quick flick. [Indicating flickering back and forth] I don’t know how to explain.

A:That is alright. I enjoy this question very much. So, what can happen is that even in this ‘not- knowing’ we can make that a position. So, there is knowing, like ‘I know a lot of things’ and now ‘I don’t know a lot of things’. So, the picking up of mental concepts and the not having mental concept. But very subtly, even this can become a position that ‘Now I have the position where I don’t know anything’.

Even in this report, the ‘I’ that we are talking about is a limited entity; because that ‘I’ has this particular life, and that ‘I’ is freaking out a little bit; all of these things are happening to a limited entity. So, again (whether we can see it yet or not) even the idea that ‘I don’t know anything’ is a knowing that ‘I don’t know anything now, so now what is going to happen to ‘my’ life?’

So, not even this we can know. And the mind cannot do this. (I am speaking to You as Consciousness Itself, my own Being): not even this we can know that ‘I don’t know anything’. Because the mind can only operate in these opposites: knowing something and not-knowing. And both can become positions; doer or not-doer, desirer or not-desirer, sufferer or not-sufferer.

What we are talking about is That which is at the background of both of these positions. You see? Even the not-knowingness can become like a phenomenal not-knowingness that ‘I know now that I know nothing and let me now see what happens to my life’. But we don’t know actually what is happening to our life; what was going to be the outcome of this mental forgetting and not-knowing any concept. We actually don’t know really.

So, don’t even make a conclusion about how life is turning out because of that. And don’t make even the not-knowing into a position. Don’t go from a ‘knower’ into a ‘not-knower’ because you will become like Socrates. There is Socrates saying that ‘I don’t know anything at all’. Yet, there can be a conceptual holding onto the concept of not-knowing.

So, empty of the concept of mental knowingness of any sort; like if you don’t have a confusion about your knowingness; you don’t know whether you know or don’t know [Laugh]. Because,

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subtle as it might be even this can become like a position where we come into a restaurant (I am just taking a silly example, don’t mind, just stretching it, exaggerating it to make the point) so, you might go to the restaurant and the server gives a menu and you say ‘Ah, actually I don’t know what I want’. And if that happens it is fine. But sometimes even these things can happen from a position, like ‘I have to prove to myself or to the rest of the world that I don’t know anything’ or ‘I actually have become like this, that I now don’t know anything’. But we are not talking about this ‘I’. Not even this. Like you don’t know whether you know or don’t know. How is that? So, you can’t even take a position about knowing or not-knowing.

It can be very tricky for the mind because the mind will say ‘So, then: what now? I am completely confused. Either do I know or don’t know?’ It is neither. Even about doership; are you the doer or not the doer? Neither. The question doesn’t apply to You. The one that could be the presumable doer or not-doer doesn’t exist. And the One that Is (the One Light of Consciousness) is the one doer: one doer, one experiencer. So, we cannot have a mental answer for any of these questions.

I hope some of it got through because I have to by-pass the mind completely in these kinds of answers. I have to by-pass the mind completely because the mind only knows opposites: either I know or I don’t know; either I am the doer or I am not the doer. If I say you are neither, the mind says ‘But that doesn’t help’. It doesn’t help the mind. But it triggers a recognition about something later, something deeper that You Are, which is beyond this play of opposites.

Otherwise, very quickly, in any position that we take, even if it is based on the words that we hear in Satsang, any position that you take then can become a position that tries to hold on to something. And it can become like this where you say ‘Oh, I seem to be losing control of my life and some strange things have started to happen to me’. Even in all of these reports, the ‘me’ is still the ‘I’ which is now relying on the not-knowing position. But You are not that. That is why Ashtavakra, all the Sages, instruct to take a step back even from this. Who is watching this apparent knowing and not-knowing?

Something clearer in that? You can say something. I would like hear what you say.

Q:Yeah. Thank you for the description. It appears clear, but still on the level of the mind. While you were explaining it was very clear. But now I guess I need to chew on what you just said. So, of course I am aware that saying ‘I don’t know’ is already the fact that I am aware that I don’t know. But as you were saying it, actually I am hanging onto…, I am clinging to this idea of ‘I don’t know’ in a way because ‘Oh! So, now it is changing, now it is different’. And actually, it is different…, but it is not. [Laughs] It’s not. I just realized that it’s not different. It is the same; just the same. This is just what I understand so far but I hope the understanding will go deeper and deeper.

A:This is very good. I am very happy with the sharing of this; something which is so subtle and there already seems to be a resonance with that. I am very happy with this report.

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Q: Ah, thank you very much for helping. Thank you very, very much. [Big smile]

A:I feel very happy because many times in Satsang I could say that we come from a ‘knowing’ to a ‘not-knowing’. But even in this pointing, there can be this seed of opposition; a reference point to ourself which can be limited. That is why it is just best to … (how to say even this?) …See that not-knowing…, which doesn’t know anything about knowing and not-knowing; that which is not positional, not a reference that we can make about ourself.

Someone says ‘You know something or you do not?’ I don’t know. And at some moment, you say ‘Yes, I know this’ or ‘I don’t know this’. You don’t know how. And this is a simple allowing of life to unfold as it is; no position, no reference to ourself. This is full openness; emptiness beyond the concept of knowing/not-knowing, empty/full.

I am always very happy to receive questions like this. Always very happy to receive questions like this because these can be the very confusing, very subtle points…, that it can seem like ‘Yes isn’t this what all the Teachers are pointing to? Don’t know anything? And now I feel like I don’t know anything and my life is becoming a bit wild. What is going on?’ Even this beautiful pointing of not knowing anything can be planted as a seed of: ‘I’ Whose? ‘My’ life.

It is said ‘Leave even this one that doesn’t know’.

‘Left the one who knew, left the one who doesn’t know.’

Both are left. Both positions are gone and we don’t know whether we know or don’t know. And like I said, the mind cannot fathom this. It can only operate in these opposites. Something does a by-pass, something goes deeper. Like this.

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When It Is Seen as One Appearance, We Step Back from Duality

This is duality; pain and pleasure, good and bad, black and white. There is an appearance of one world, one universe. If it is seen as one, then we step back from that duality. Otherwise, we participate in that duality by our belief. ‘This I prefer, this I don’t prefer’. You see? We participate with our concepts. But when we step back from this, it is still seen that the world, that everything, is duality; white, dark. Everything is duality in the design of this world. But we see that it is One world, which has two aspects.

Just like (some of you might have seen) the statue of Shiva and Shakti as one statue. So, sometimes we can look at something and see only one aspect of it. Then it can feel like we make a conclusion about the world. It is like this. See, the world is full of suffering; it is also full of joy. And in my contemplations, I’ve seen that everything translates into this manifest creation; everything is available in equal doses. There is nothing which is lopsided. In fact, the times in which balance seems to get over-ridden, then it is said that the great Avatars and the Sages come to restore the balance. So, the balance is a beautiful thing to see in this realm. That’s why we can see that any conclusion that we make is true ultimately, because it’s always taking a side. The world is full of suffering; not a true conclusion. The world is only joyful; not a true conclusion. The world is only bliss, bliss; not a true conclusion. Nothing you can conclusively say because it is this; it is the balancing of the Yin and the Yang. [Clasps hands together with interlocking fingers] And in the design of it, there’s a stress between the opposites. It plays in this, round and round, with this constant stress of the opposites.

So, See the world as a dual world but to See that You are not participating in that duality; You are not an object within this dual world. The world appearance, I mean maya in that way, is one maya, one play, one leela (whatever you call it). So, you see that [the true] ‘I’ is not subject to the duality of this world. And then, that is the dropping of resistance.

See, what Is just Is. And What Is can be just What Is without resistance. Then, there can be no ego. That ‘What Is’ includes the movement of this body. Everything can be heard as if ‘I’m an individual entity and now I’m going to decide to let everything be as it is’. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m taking a step back from this position and I’m including the movements, the words and the actions of this body also in the ‘What Is’. Then the false delusion of all this duality, desire, doership goes away and you See all of this play as just one play. That is what you’re Seeing actually. Our Seeing is always true. It is our interpretation which makes it seem like I’m part of this duality.

So, coming to the recognition of the Source, coming to the recognition of Awareness, takes us away from this idea that ‘I am contained in this world of duality’. Then we just see that there is one appearance. Am I an appearance? What is the definition of ‘appearance’? [Chuckles] Quick test.

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Sangha: That which comes and goes.

A: That which comes and goes is called an appearance.

Am I an appearance? And if I also come and go…? I do not come and go. If I also came and went…, (you see this?) the reporting that I come and go would not be possible at all. There must be a constant which is able to See the change. If there is no constant witness, then change cannot be reported.

Q: Consciousness at rest cannot perceive itself?

A:Consciousness at rest? One of the primal powers of Consciousness is perception. If by

‘Consciousness at rest’ you mean that which is not yet ‘I Am’ (just I, not yet I Am; it has not arisen from Its Source, it’s not appeared from the Self as manifest existence) if you mean the non-phenomenal, the deep sleep, then there is no perception. And yet, there is Awareness…, because otherwise, I would not be able to say there is no perception. [Silently looking at questioner] It’s tricky. Don’t try to understand it. Just hear the words. Because you cannot understand it that way.

Now, we’re saying: There is perception when I Am. The power of perception is there, to perceive all we perceive. There is sight, there is hearing, there is smell, there is taste; all this perception is there. Now, before I Am, even this perception is not there. Because there is no phenomenon to perceive and there is no existence, sense of existence, which is the perceiver or the creator of the Light of this realm. Now, even to make this report, I must be aware of it or I must be talking out of my hat. Either I’m just making this up that there is no perceiver (in deep sleep state, there is no perceiver, there is no perception) …, either we’ve had the experience of deep sleep or deep sleep is just a common myth that all of us share. So, because we are aware that there is a time when not even perception is and not even the sense of the perceiver is…, there must be even a witness of that. So, That which is usually the Subject for all other objects (which is this Consciousness) is also ultimately an object for this ultimate Subject, which is Awareness.

Now, in the play of Consciousness, then come all of these powers. There is Presence, there is perception, there is space, there is time, there is light…, there is all of this; there is body usually, there is the appearance of this dual world. When this Consciousness is done playing, then it goes back into the Source where there is no trouble; deep sleep, no perception, no separation, no identity, nothing. Everything is gone. And yet, You are aware that there is something called sleep. [Silence] Of course, you can report it only when this phenomenal appearance is there.

So, the power of the perception relies on this primal power called attention. There is no perception without attention. And yet, there is Awareness without attention.

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Just Follow the Trail of the Witness

What arises as One Consciousness, One Beingness, and all this world of appearances is One. You can try this for yourself. You cannot create the idea of two just in the mere perception. It must be perception with some interpretation or judgment. So, when the Sage says ‘All I see is One’ it is not that he is not able to perceive that there are two bodies in front of him. It is just that this pool of perceptions are happening in One Being, One Consciousness. Very often we do this exercise that:

Where is the experience of sight happening?

Where is the experience of hearing happening?

Where is the experience of any phenomenon happening?

That’s why even in spirituality there are two ways. There are many ways but main among them are these two ways. One is: we start from presumption that the separation happened and there is a real person here; how to make it a better person, a good person, who is telling the truth, turning away from greed and lust and all the things that seem to get in the way of spirituality according to that [viewpoint] and then getting to the point where ultimately the truth is recognized that we are One. Now, that is not Ashtavakra’s way. Ashtavakra’s way is one preparatory verse, and then hundreds of verses talking about the One. That one verse, what is it? ‘Sincerity, forgiveness, kindness, truth; turn your attention toward all these’. That’s the only preparatory verse he has. Because his way is to point like this and say:

Right Now, you See that you are One.

You See! (not ‘you believe’ or interpret or judge).

He says: You are the one solitary witness of all there is.

That’s such a beautiful pointer, isn’t it? Just follow the trail of the witness. And the recognition will be undeniable. Without inference. . .

At best, at the end the mind will come and say ‘I see nothing!’ When you follow the trail of the witness, and you come to this point where you feel like ‘I see nothing! I can’t be nothing’ …, I want you to come up to me and share with me: ‘Ananta, when I check now…, I followed the trail of the witness like you said, and …’ Those who have this feeling can come up and ask me then.

So, what does it mean to ‘Follow the trail of the witness’?

Whatever the object might be, find out: Who witnesses that?

Then find out, who witnesses this witness?

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Now, the mind will come and say ‘But this is infinite regress. You say the witness. Then you say who witnesses the witness?’ But this is not true. Don’t fall into that mind-trap. If you were thinking this, if you’re believing this, come up. We’ll look together. Because here, in our subtlest discoveries, also the mind can come with a story which can seem very acceptable at times. But this ‘nothing’ I want to talk about.

Second, is if it’s giving you the idea that ‘This is pointless. It’s just infinitely reverse and backwards’ or it might sell you the story that ‘I must only be there now. It must only be awareness of Awareness. There must not be any worldly perception’ …, if that kind of story comes to make you believe your mind, then you come. They’re all just various forms of mental resistance.

So, as we’re following the path,

as we’re following the ‘smell’ of this witness:

Where is it coming from?

All the clues are there.

It does not come and go.

What is it that does not come and go?

We have been told that it is this witness,

That which witnesses everything.

Now, who is this witness.

Is there really a witness?

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What Makes the Falling Away of Identity Happen?

Q: The falling away of identity cannot be willed, so what makes it happen?”

A:First for this, you have to clarify what you mean by ‘will’? Let me clarify the question further.

If there was something like free will, who would it belong to? If it belonged to a personal entity, that would mean that there is actually a personal identity which came into existence. If no person has ever come into existence, can it ever have anything, including will?

That which doesn’t exist…, it’s like saying ‘Okay, does the blue cat in this room want some milk?’ [Chuckles] You will say ‘There is no blue cat’. You see? Like that. So, how can that blue cat have the will? Does the blue cat want to go outside the room? What is the will of the blue cat? [Chuckles] You would say ‘What’s he talking about? There is no such thing’. In the same way, when we say ‘Does the person have some will?’ we have to first find if there is such a thing as ‘a person’. Or is it just an idea, like the blue cat?

This was the first option: Who could have will? So, when we say it cannot be will, then we actually might mean that yes, it cannot be will from a personal perspective. Why? Because no person ever actually came into existence. There is no such entity here. Then you might say ‘Okay, it cannot be will’. From which perspective? What is the next perspective you can say? The will of Consciousness.

Now, everything (as you have Seen) happens in the light of this Consciousness. When ‘I Am’ appears [in the waking and dream state] then this apparent play appears and all the movements in this apparent play happen. Now, all of this is what? We can say it is the will of Consciousness.

Why the play happens cannot be defined. Even this is not an answer which matches up to some standard of Truth…, that everything is the will of Consciousness. We say it because we find only Consciousness is here. For all that is happening (because we see the design and the pattern in everything that is happening) we say ‘Who is the doer of this? It must be Consciousness. Who must be willing it? Must be Consciousness’.

That’s why surrender works; when we say ‘Tvam karta, Tvam bhogta’ (I am not the doer nor the experiencer) You (God, or Guru, Consciousness) is the One Doer and the One Experiencer. So, from that perspective we can say ‘Everything is the will of Consciousness’. Therefore, even the picking up and the dropping both must be just the will of Consciousness. That’s why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘Everything is Grace’. There is nothing, not a blade of grass, which moves unless it is the will of Consciousness, the play of Consciousness.

Now, there is a third perspective that also you can take. You can say that ‘My truest position is the Absolute; That which sees that even this Consciousness, this Being, this Existence, is just an aspect of MySelf. My truer position is That which is aware of even this. I witness my Being, I

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am aware of my Being’. This ‘I’ is completely so pure, so is unconcerned about even the concept of will, yet everything comes from within It.

So, will does not apply at the personal level and does not apply at the Absolute level. It only applies at this level, which is the level of Consciousness.

So, what makes it happen is That which makes everything happen, which is Consciousness Itself. It makes everything happen to whom? To Itself. Nobody else has been found here.

Except someone once said (and she also didn’t present ‘the person’) that it is a possibility that ‘One day I might actually find this person and bring him to you’. Because there is a thousand- dollar cash prize for any of you who can present a person to me and say ‘Here, here it is! Here is the person!’ [Chuckles] You remember this? [Turning to look at someone in the room] You said this to me one day. You always have a fresh perspective on things. She said ‘Okay, okay fine. I don’t find it now; okay fine. But can you conclusively say that no science, nobody, will ever discover a person?’ [Chuckling] I enjoyed that very much, that’s why it stayed with me.

Basically, the point is that this is a mythical entity, just like the blue cat. Consciousness has given Itself the power to believe Itself to be something which is a bundle of concepts, with ideas about itself and its limitations and what it wants. This is the way Consciousness is playing until Consciousness is done with the play.

It mostly does not like abrupt endings to movies; like we don’t like abrupt endings to movies. Have you gone to these Indie movies? Sometimes, you go to them and something is just about to happen, and they end! That is not satisfying. So, when It is coming to the end of the movie, also It is playing it out. It’s coming to Satsang. It’s having insights. It’s playing in this way. It’s extracting the juice from this process. It extracted all the juice of getting deluded. Now it is extracting all the juice out of this process of coming out of delusion (including its apparent frustrations, day-by-day saying ‘Why don’t I get it?’)

All of it is the play of this One because no person has ever really existed.

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When the Rubber Hits the Road and the Tire Bursts

Q: Namaste Father. When the rubber hits the road, the tire bursts.

A:[Chuckles] Yes, my dear. What to do? The rubber hits the road, the tire bursts; what to do? The reason we have Satsang every day, we gather in this way, we sing Guruji’s aarti, we do the Ram chanting, is because I know when this rubber is hitting the road, it can feel like so much suffering can happen. So, I can just really remind you that you are not the tire which is bursting; you are the witness of that. But when it feels like you are the tire which is bursting, you are the tire which is hitting the road in this strong way, I know that when it strongly happens then it feels like it is true. That is why having the gift of a Master in one’s life is the best gift that we can have.

It’s just like a child, when you scrape your knees. The Master will tell you that ‘Everything will be all right. You are beyond this’. Like I used to tell my children that ‘Let me see how many minutes this will last’. I would take a bet with my daughter when she was in some sort of pain. I would say ‘Okay, Beta, I will bet with you that in 15 minutes you won’t even remember which hand was paining’. So now, this is also a reminder for you to see that [even though] the rubber is hitting the road and the tire seems to be bursting, that this will not last.

Satguru’s Presence will last.

When these times of suffering come, it can feel like ‘But I have suffered forever and you say it can’t last’. You see? But this is not a true report. Because although moments of suffering will come and go (awful, sometimes) the fact is that the contrast has always been tasted. The gift of Satsang has been available to you in this life. You’ve had the joy of being also in the physical presence of Guruji [Sri Mooji]. How many have had this gift in their life? So, in this time which the mind can say has only been full of suffering, the greatest gifts have also come to you.

In this realm of contrast, everything is tasted but it is this suffering which seems to be remembered the most, or noticed the most. When the rubber hits the road, that which has been truly digested comes to our aid, it seems. That’s why my advice to you has always been (from the beginning actually) that ‘Please don’t play with any new concepts; don’t play with any new contemplations also (for you)’. Because there is only one thing which is the constant (in many of our lives) which is the Divine Presence of the Master.

I’m bound to the feet of the Master like a child who hangs on the mother’s womb when it is scared. And sooner or later, you will come to this discovery that everything has always been taken care of.

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Pain Not Resisted is Accepted Pain, Not Suffering

A:In the design of the play, most of humanity is receiving feedback from this one intimate instrument [Points toward his body] seemingly. And also, our visual perspective seems to be centered from this. That is the design of this play. So, just because the computer game is designed like that doesn’t mean there are two games. So, what I was saying (half-jokingly) was once you are not resistive to anything happening in your body, then you might perceive other bodies also at the same level. (That part is not important; the first part is.)

Q: So, the game is misery. Pain is misery.

A:No. Misery is suffering. Suffering needs a sufferer. Misery needs one who is miserable. Now, can you identify the one who is experiencing the pain? It is undeniable that it is ‘I’. But what is this ‘I’?

Q: Awareness.

A:So, okay, Awareness. If you say ‘Awareness’ …, not even Being, if you say ‘Awareness’ then can you say that That which witnesses this (which is Awareness) is suffering from any pain?

Q: It is extended pain.

A:Then, if it is not resisted, then many times extended pain is also accepted pain. And usually accepted pain does not seem as painful as resisted pain. Many times, those who have had chronic pain can also be working for a time and forget about it; suddenly it goes away. They say ‘Ah’. Something changes; they feel so light and easy.

In fact, all of us; there is no body without any pain. Even now, if you were to put the attention on the body and I was to say ‘Put some attention on some pain in the body’ you will find something. It’s always there. It’s just that there’s a threshold that you’re used to. When that increases, or the pain goes beyond that threshold, it can feel like ‘Ah! I’m suffering.’ But if that becomes chronic, then the threshold also increases. It becomes part of our day-to-day life.

[Another question ends the talk here.]

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Three Clues to the Recognition of the Self

What are the clues we’ve discovered so far?

What are the clues to the recognition of the Self that we are finding today?

It is the witness of all that can be witnessed. (Follow the trail…)

It is unchanging.

And it cannot be seen (perceived) objectively yet it is your direct experience.

This recognition is your non-phenomenal recognition. You will not see it as an object. If you see it as an object, find out who witnesses that. Then you know that your mind is visualizing and giving you its alternative to Awareness. It’s creating an object out of it. It is creating this fake space.

3 clues. Very useful.

What witnesses all phenomena?

What remains unchanging?

Do I have a recognition which doesn’t have a shape or size or color?

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Give All That is Unreal to the Guru

Yesterday, I was saying that I don’t ask for any Guru-dakshina. [The tradition of thanking the Guru with money or gifts for his service] But I ask for the greatest Guru-dakshina. Everything I want. I can’t leave you with anything.

Q: Pride. [Laughter in the room] A: This also I want. [Laughter in the room]

So, what more to ask of you if I have already taken everything? [Silence] So, don’t be fooled by my not asking for anything phenomenal. It is also good in a way because you might feel like ‘Oh I have given something already’. It is good because I don’t ask for phenomenal ‘peanuts’. You have no excuses. You have to come with me out of this universe on this voyage that you’re taking; Your Reality…, which is beyond [all this].

Now, that which you are attached to will obviously pull (when you are flying on this voyage). It will seem to be pulling you back, like it has some gravitational force; all our desires, all our expectations, all our attachments can seem like they have some power; some gravitational pull.

Does this mean that life will stop, that our worldly relationships cannot go on? No, it doesn’t mean any of that. It can or may not; for some it can, for some it may not. That is not the conclusion. That is irrespective. Here, Consciousness decided that it will continue. In some form, work continues, in some form, family continues; it is irrespective. In other forms, it feels like when Guruji [Sri Mooji] just knew in his heart one day: ‘I quit’.

We cannot predict the movement in this. And that doesn’t actually matter. What is more important is what you See YourSelf to Be (irrespective of this ever-changing realm). And if you just continue to consider yourself an object within this ever-changing realm, then we are going to have a struggle between two forces. One is me going on this voyage…, it is like you have half- boarded a ship; one hand I am holding, the other hand the world is holding and the ship is leaving, So, you are going to feel stretched. ‘What is going on?’ The struggles; all of this you will feel.

Again, I am saying that none of these metaphors are meant to convey that you have to leave the world phenomenally. I am talking about Your recognition of what You Are. So, aspire to all of this. And leave this one who is convincing you that in spite of your recognition that the sun comes from the East…, it still comes and sells you a story that it comes from the West.

That is all that is happening. You are recognizing YourSelf to be the unlimited Self. But the mind will come and say ‘No, but you are still limited. Until this happens, until something happens, until then you are going to be limited’. It is exactly the opposite of what I am saying every day.

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What is the Strongest Concept We Are Attached To?

I want to give this homework to everyone: What is the concept that you feel is stronger than You? …that you cannot drop? That it has so much power over you that you just cannot drop it, in spite of hearing in Satsang every day, in various ways, not to believe any concept?

It could be a fearful concept like ‘What would happen to my life? Will I stop taking care of my responsibilities? What will happen to my family?’ (These kind of concepts).

So, can we really bring our attention on the truth of these, and see what it is that seems to still be holding us in some way? Those which have the most magnetism. Those which seem to get our belief just automatically. [Snaps fingers] Many times we say ‘When this comes, it’s just automatic’.

And you will notice that, if you are experiencing suffering in life, you will find that one of these concepts is the basis for that.

Suffering then becomes a beautiful tool. It shows us what we are still attached to. It’s not something to run away from or to fight. When it comes (I know, I’m making it seem easier than it can feel) but when it comes, then have a look and see ‘What is the underlying belief that I’m believing about myself which is the cause of my suffering?’ And you will find how you’re believing yourself to be limited in some way. No concept is truly in service to You, because every concept is selling You a limitation about YourSelf.

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The Negative By-Product of Spiritual Knowledge

The true disciple is not ‘being’ a disciple. You understood what I said? The true disciple is not ‘being’ a disciple; is not becoming a better disciple. The true disciple is empty of identity; is like the infant child. Is the infant child being an infant child? [Silence] Therefore, in the same way, the best disciple is one who is empty of all concepts, including ‘disciple’ …, empty of the concept of being ‘empty disciple’ also. I have to tell you this because the nature of the mind is such that it will pick up this aspect of it. Forget both the opposites and remain like an innocent child.

Now, I don’t feel that in all of Advaita Vedanta there is a concept which you don’t know. You know every concept there is to know. But when push comes to shove, when the rubber hits the road, what happens to all of these? If I answer to you ‘You are Consciousness’ or ‘You are Awareness’ and it just becomes a concept for you, one day all these concepts will get thrown out of the window. Then when ‘You have to leave the house and go to fly’ [the questioner had said he was struggling to get out of the house] all these concepts are gone. So, let’s have that honesty and say ‘These are not helping. All I can do (because in this expression it is playing like this in this moment) is be this infant child in my Mother’s lap. I say simply like that: infant child in Mother’s lap.

Then you say ‘There’s Shiva, then there’s Mahamaya’ …, you see? Does a child know all of this? This is what I meant by ‘And’. It is not a ‘But’. It is not countering the Guru’s words, but it is appending. It seems like something is smart enough to append something. So, that can then become a resistance because it can feel like, in the most astounding, most beautiful-sounding concepts, you are not finding your freedom from suffering. And I’m pointing you so directly to that.

When I said: Don’t add an ‘and’ …, this is exactly what I meant. I know already that you know everything you need to know. But this is of no value to me right now. I would like to discuss it one day with you; and we will. That day will also come; because I enjoy it. I enjoy these concepts. You know that. But not at this moment because it is not in service to you.

Right now, what life is showing you is your true innocence of her child. It’s making a baby out of you; whether your mind agrees or not. So, then, accept that this is how your life is. Without the Satguru’s grace, without the Satguru’s words, without his will nothing is moving. Come into acceptance of that. All the ‘buts’ and the ‘ands’…, just throw them away. All this categorizing of the Divine Presence (between Bhagavan and Papa-van and Guruji and Father) all of this, throw it away. It is not helping you. You might feel like it is helping. It’s One Divine Presence trying to convey to you the same thing in all different expressions. And if you make categories and you say ‘Okay, I know this is this and I know that is that and I know who my true Master is and I know whatever …’ you’re not being a baby and seeing what life gives you then.

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This is getting squeezed out of us. All of us have it. This is the by-product in some way; the negative by-product of spiritual knowledge. Everything in this world of duality has the pros and the cons. So, if something is in service to your giving up every concept and coming back to the innocence of a baby, use that concept. You need only one; the one I have given you. [Silence] Then we meet with integrity. Otherwise, I’m meeting a version of you (which is part of the play). And I’m okay to play. We have unlimited time. Time is nothing but a toy here. But something here still feels your pain when you cry. So, it might feel like I’m trying to chop you. (Sometimes my children have this complaint that ‘Father is too blunt with me and whatever I say, he just chops.) Why? Because your tears, they hurt something here. You see? If I did not have that feeling, then I enjoy talking about all the fancy Advaita concepts. I don’t mind listening to it. I have a full library of Advaita concepts. You know that. But will that (when push comes to shove, when the rubber hits the road) will that help you? Will that feel like you have the support of the Master with you? It’s not doing that. In fact, it is being counter-productive. It is getting squeezed out of you. Life in not tolerating any of this from you! I can see it. I wonder if you see it.

Q: I see, Father. I see, Father. For a long time, I see.

A:Very good. Very good. You see that life doesn’t want this. It is squeezing all of this out of you and making you like a baby. And there is time. Time will become your play-thing. Don’t worry about it. As you become empty of this, as you flower more and more in Your own words which you Know are true, all you have to do is abide in the Master’s words. All you have to do is rest in the Divine Presence…, without interpretation, judgment; without any arrogance or shame.

You see? Empty; empty of all of this. Then we meet as One. Then we laugh at all these categorizations and funny things. You see? I also enjoy very much. Sometimes I read what you write and I enjoy MySelf very much. But I would be happier if all of this was helping you when the rubber was hitting the road.

I see that, in your case (and again, not to make any concept out of any of this also) in your case, life is operating like it is Kali; cutting off everything that you can throw to it, all your ideas about what you know. You see, it’s operating like that. It’s making a baby out of you; crying for milk, a small baby. It is happening. I can see it. So, I’m the pediatrician (maybe) [Chuckles] in this case, and I’m saying that what is causing all of this to go is: ‘My dear child, no need to cry. All you have to do is throw away all of this’. I’ve been saying this for some time now. You say ‘I abide by the Guru’s words’. Just abide by my words. I asked you ‘What does it mean to have my hands and eyes at the Master’s feet?’ You point to your Heart. ‘Yes’. That is where the Master is. It’s not in Bangalore. It’s not in any other place. All of these are representations of your Divine Presence. But it will not tolerate any of these childish ideas of specialness. I will hear these words from you, I will hear about Shiva and Mahamaya when your words smell of them; I will hear them from you as much as you like. But right now, I will not hear them because right now this is not how life is playing with you.

Thank you, my love. [Ananta puts hand on this chest/heart]

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Don’t Make a Position out of the Pointings in Satsang

One tip I want to give you before we close for today. No words that you hear (even the words in Satsang) should contribute to your having a reference point or a position because of that. What that means is that, sometimes, even the greatest of pointings (‘I am Consciousness, I am That in which the world is contained’) we can very quickly make a visual out of that and start to define our position; as if we are ‘something’.

All of these words are meant just to shake away all ideas that we have about ourself. So, don’t even take on Awareness as a position. Don’t even take on Freedom as a position. Don’t take bondage as a position. Don’t take ‘person’ as a position. Don’t take ‘seeker’ as a position. Don’t take Consciousness as a position. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Don’t even take ‘nothing’ as a position. [Laughter in the room] Because our ‘nothing’ becomes like this big, black, empty space. Even that is not your position.

I know that for a while it can feel a bit shaky to not have a position; it can feel like ‘I’m falling’ or ‘I’m dying’. But I’m here for that. Nothing will happen.

One of my first Satsangs (when I was in Tiru) with Mooji, there was this girl who came and said ‘Mooji, I feel like my head is going to explode. What do I do? I feel like my head is going to explode’. And he said ‘I’ve never seen a head exploding. I’d like to see it’. [Laughs] See what happens? When we invite it like that, then we see that it is nothing. It’s just this tiny [makes a sound ‘ching’] something and yet, before it came out, it was so strong! (My head is going to explode!)

So, don’t have any fear about these things. Sometimes the mind will play with the tiniest of sensations and tell you that ‘Oh, they are so big. You’re drowning in them. You don’t know what to do’. That is the benefit of having a living Master in our life, is that he can tell you that ‘All these things happened here also, but actually, they have no power. Just stay with it. Stay with Satsang.

So, don’t make any position out of anything that you’ve heard; either in the world or in Satsang. All concepts can be dropped safely and you will see that life continues in its own beautiful way.

The mind might not agree that it is beautiful. [Chuckles] Don’t wait for the mind’s certificate or the mind’s consent.

[Silence]

This is surrender; this is openness.

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Just let everything come and go.

[Silence]

Otherwise, what can happen is the most well-intended pointing (even a pointing that ‘You are not the doer; You are not the sufferer’) even these most well-intending pointings can translate into a ‘still-limited’ position about ourself. ‘Oh, I-as-the-body/mind am not the doer’ …, like an inert flower pot or something. That is not the discovery in Satsang.

So, don’t take on any position, don’t buy any offers from the mind to make ‘something’ out of ‘you’ …, whatever that ‘something’ might be. If it is coming with the offer that ‘You will become the most enlightened Sage’ …, don’t buy this offer. When it comes and says ‘Come and say this; then they will see what is the extent of your spiritual accomplishment’ …, No.

The best pointing is: Forget about it!

When we are empty of concepts, we discover our True fullness.

It is independent of any phenomenal fullness.

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Using the Three Clues for Recognizing the Self

What is happening now? What is happening now is that you are coming to the recognition of YourSelf. How are you coming to the recognition of YourSelf? You’re using the 3 clues. You’re finding out:

What is it that witnesses all phenomena? What witnesses every phenomenal movement, everything with any attribute, any quality…., including that which witnesses the sense of space?

So, the Sage has said ‘the witness of all the elements AND the space in which the elements are included’. This is the first clue; this witness.

What is the second clue? You are finding That which is unchanging; which has no past nor future.

And third clue is that: It has to be your direct insight. Although, unlike most other experiences, you will not be able to call this a phenomenal experience. So, in a way, we can say it is your own real non-phenomenal experience.

[Silence]

As you are coming to this recognition of the Self, you will find that every belief is totally of the mind, which is the opposite of your own insight. It is saying that you are a phenomenal object, you are full of change and you’re perceived through the power of perception just like any other object. This is what the mind is saying every time that you hear the story of your limited, objective existence, which is actually contrary to Your own insight about YourSelf. That is why you will find that it becomes more and more difficult to believe what the mind is saying. What the mind is saying becomes more and more laughable; un-relate-able. And as it becomes more laughable, then you find that you have more and more space for this recognition.

That’s why I call this the ‘virtuous cycle’. The recognition aids the dropping of the conditioning and this belief in the mind …, and this dropping of belief in the mind aids the recognition. That’s how the play operates.

[Silence]

Notice how much allegiance we’ve had to this mind. Even now. Many times, even when we are in Satsang, we are believing mental conclusions even about the words of Satsang. Notice the various poses of this mind; when it poses as a judge saying ‘Yes, yes, this is right, this is right. Oh, no, this I don’t agree with’. It’s a judge over there, confirming or denying even what it is hearing in Satsang. Then sometimes it poses as a judge, sometimes it poses like it is the frustrated one. ‘I don’t think I’ll really get any of this. All this is beyond me. I’m so tired of spirituality and the search for freedom. It’s pointless, it’s meaningless; I’m not getting

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anywhere’. You see? This kind of pose. Then, sometimes when the recognition happens so beautifully, then it comes as that enlightened pose. ‘Oh. I got it. I AM That’. You see, all these various masks of the mind…, ‘auditioning for your attention’ as Guruji [Sri Mooji] says. It’s showing up in all these poses to audition for You. Which mask are you going to pick up now?

You be empty of these masks. What a Master is doing actually is un-masking You. Something is being drawn towards the Master, and yet the Master doesn’t want to meet you through the obstacles, through the prison of this mask. So, he’s saying ‘Throw this away so we can meet as one’. Throw this away, so we meet as one.

So, if the words like ‘position’ or ‘reference’ seem confusing, know that I’m talking about this mask. What is this persona, pose, façade that we are presuming about ourself just because the mind is selling us a story? Why would we believe something that is contrary to our own insight?

Am I saying that ‘Just because I’m saying it, you believe it.’? No. I’m saying that: Using these three clues, you find out what You Are, and stay with your insight, stay with what Your discovery is, irrespective of what the mind is saying for some time.

And don’t be so quick to say ‘I didn’t get it’ or ‘I’m unable to get it’…, or ‘I got it’. Neither of these conclusions is valid …, because even that can become a pose; even that can become a mask.

Remain in this empty, mask-less nakedness; in spite of all the mental attacks, all the feelings of shame, of guilt. This wobbly-ness will not last. Don’t be fearful of it. I have crossed this river of wobbly-ness where I can also tell you that it doesn’t last. Just like somebody standing on the shore, saying ‘Come, come. Cross; nothing will happen. Just come. Nothing to be afraid of. You will not die’. In fact, you will discover your death-less reality, just by following these small, simple pointers.

All it needs is a little bit of openness; dropping the arrogance of your prior knowledge, coming to the innocence of a child, coming to the discovery of YourSelf. This is what Jesus meant when he said ‘Only the babes will enter the kingdom of heaven’. You are becoming babies now because life is playing in that way. What does it mean to run out of moves? All it means is that you don’t know where to go, what to do. All our concepts are not helping us.

There’s a deeper longing now to come Home; to that Home which we never really left but we just dreamt that we are far from it.

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The Only Knowingness is Awareness

Q:When we talk about this perception, you know…, I read something where Guruji [Sri Mooji] is saying that ‘If something is lost, are you not there? And when something is found are you not there?’ So, when we talk about this perception, even in perception, isn’t there this knowingness?

I mean, there is a knowingness in this perception; otherwise where is perception? What would I call perception? And this knowing…, like when we ‘stay as that solitary witness’ there is no additional identity of being a person or anything like that. There is just this pure knowingness

[pause] of pure knowingness; like the deep sleep knowingness. But isn’t this same knowingness permeating everything…, I mean all my identities, even when they come and go?

A:Yes. I don’t feel like there is a difficulty there. This Knowingness (with a capital ‘K’) this Awareness, this Self…, everything comes from that, everything is made up of that, therefore everything is That only. There is no escaping Knowingness, there is no escaping Awareness.

Q:I had this misconception actually, where I felt that when this Beingness came or when the person came, when identity came, that it had a different way of knowing. But then when I looked, there is no different knowing, there is only Awareness which can Know; nothing other than it which can know anything. You know what I mean?

A:Yes, that’s why in the beginning of the sessions (you were away, but maybe you can have a look at the recording of the first Ashtavakra session) we looked at this ‘knowing’ itself, what it can mean, you see. Is it a perceptual knowing? Is it a conceptual knowing? Is it a sensational knowing, emotional knowing? Where is it that all these seeming-types of knowingness come from? What does it mean to actually know? And why is it that Janaka is asking for true Knowledge (knowledge with a capital K). Because presumably, everything that could be known perceptually or intellectually or sensationally, he would have known already.

Q: That is true.

A: What is this Knowing?

Q:No, but the ‘he’…, the ‘he’ that who would have known all this (intellectually or conceptually) …, at the root of all this, there has to be Awareness, right? Because without that Awareness, where would there be an identity to even begin with?

A: That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Q: Yeah.

A:Nothing is possible without this. Can you say anything unless there is a Knowingness? Can we experience anything without the Knowingness? This Knowingness Itself is a different word

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for Awareness. But not a mental knowing, not a perceptual knowing. That which Knows even all of this; and yet all of this is made up of only That alone…, because only the Self is.

Q:So, when this discovery is made that this identity which I play with (as in my waking state which goes away in my sleep) it’s this Absolute Knowingness which is making this discovery? You know what I mean? I mean, who is making it? I’m making it.

A:I know. Okay, let’s look at this very closely. Now, as we find this, the question is ‘Who is finding this? Did Knowingness forget Itself? Or did Knowingness (also within its non- phenomenal functioning as the Absolute) play this game of forgetting and remembering?’ No, it’s not possible, Awareness did not forget Itself, Awareness did not delude Itself. This Knowingness, in Its non-phenomenal aspect, never played this game because It is non- phenomenal. No game is possible; no quality, no attribute (including forgetfulness or recognition) is possible there.

So, if it is not possible there, then who is making this discovery? Because on the other side, we say that ‘the person never existed’. It is impossible for Awareness because it is non- phenomenal; it is impossible for ‘person’ because no person has ever existed. Then, what is playing this game of delusion identity? …, and then dropping delusion and identity and coming to the Truth?

This is Its dynamic aspect called Consciousness.

All of this is God’s play. God playing as if it is your name and form, and God playing as if it is God, and God is playing as if it is coming to the recognition that it is even beyond God. All of this leaving and recognition is the play of Consciousness.

Therefore, all of Satsang is to bring us to our unassociated Being. You see? Being …, not unassociated Seeing (which is a capital ‘S’ Seeing) …, not unassociated Awareness.

Awareness always is unassociated. That is Its functioning, Its conscious aspect, Its dynamic aspect as Consciousness which takes on identity using belief and then drops identity by recognizing Its own Source.

Consciousness, for a long time, keeps looking at Its children, Its own creation, and tries to look for Itself in them. ‘What am I made up of?’ It tries to find objects in the world, It tries to find everything phenomenal and say ‘Am I made up of that? Can I find my Source?’ Then ultimately It comes to Seeing that ‘I cannot find my Source in this. I can only come to the true insight of my Source when I look at That which is aware even of existence’.

[Silence]

What is it that is aware even of this existence?

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So, who is making this discovery?

Consciousness Itself.

What is it discovering?

Something that Itself is made up of, Its own Source.

It’s looking at Its own Source.

It’s like the finger finally turning its attention and looking at the hand. So far, it was only looking at its own play, outwardly. So, the inquiry ‘Who am I?’ is bringing us to this recognition. (‘Us’ means those aspects of Consciousness which are playing in this way; Consciousness coming to the recognition of Its own Source.)

We come to this absolutely unchanging Truth …, untouched by this play of body/mind, untouched by this play of states, all these that come and go. We’re recognizing the Source.

But the Source never forgot Itself.

The Awareness remains untouched, unchanged.

That’s why there is really nothing to do, nothing to fix, nothing to change. It’s just a recognition which Consciousness Itself is making through all Its apparent aspects. (‘All of Its apparent aspects’ means this one aspect, this dynamic aspect called Consciousness which is playing as a multitude of apparent aspects.)

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Inherently, in Every Moment, You Are Free

Many times, after I met Guruji [Sri Mooji] many asked me ‘So, what happened?’ Especially after I started sharing Satsang, many wanted to know. I was like a spring chicken starting to share Satsang so everybody wanted to know a little bit about ‘What really happened with Guruji?’

So then, very often when I didn’t feel like sharing a story, I just said ‘It stopped’. Stopped; this idea that I am doing something or I have to be this or I have to go there, I have to say this; I have to control, basically…, that just stopped. So, when I say that ‘Guruji picked me up on his lap and has never put me back down again; I continue to be there only’ this is what it means. This whole idea of running my life…, a baby doesn’t have that.

Because of our conditioning, we’ve been conditioned that ‘You must do like this, you must be like this, you must behave like this, you must say like this’. Somehow that stops. And we realize that, just like one of the teachers I used to go to used to say ‘It’s like a heavy bag that you put down’. Somebody would ask them about liberation, freedom; it was like ‘You’re carrying this heavy bag, school bag, and you just … [Makes a gesture of reaching hands up and dropping it off his shoulders] the unburdening.

What burdens us? What burdens us is our ideas about the past and our projections about the future. But none of that. If this was the time to stop, Right Now…, if we don’t give relevance or meaning to any of that for some time…, we find ourself unburdened. Free.

Guruji says ‘If you want to be free, nobody can stop you; nothing can come in your way’. If that is the truest longing in your heart, then you will find that in this one truest longing, you will find yourself much more able to let go of this monkey-mind. You are behind it. Even now it might be chattering; it’s okay. Don’t get it opposition with it. I did not say ‘Stop the mind’. I said ‘YOU stop’. [Pause] Let the mind go on in its own merry way. Just like this.

The simplicity of this is contrary to the mind. That’s why it can seem a bit abstract; a bit confusing. Why? Ashtavakra said, “The mind is complex. Let it go.”

He did not say ‘You have to climb the ladder of complexity, of more and more complex spirituality, and then you will come to this ultimate truth’. You’re actually coming down from the realm of complexity…, with this simplicity which is Now.

No concept is needed for the Truth. Are you using a thought to BE right now? (We are unaccustomed to this kind of checking so it can seem like ‘What?’)

So, just check: Are you using a concept to exist?

[Silence]

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If you had no memory of a concept, would you not exist?

[Silence]

No concept is inherently present. The struggle is for the mind, for the concepts. The struggle is not for You. (Stay with me a little bit and you’ll see what I’m saying.) The struggle is for the mind to keep convincing You over and over again. It is not the concept which inherently exists. In THIS moment, You are empty of that.

You have to give it at least some time; for the concept to come, for you to buy into it and for that to seem like it is part of your existence.

Inherently, in every moment, You are free.

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A Simple Inquiry

I want to leave you with a simple inquiry.

What is the mask that you are wearing

through which you project or express yourself? What is that?

It is just a position, a reference point that you have made…, a limitation that you have believed about yourself.

Is it not in your power to throw away these masks?

Is it not possible for us to meet without the pretense of identity?

What makes you a seeker?

What are you without even this position?

Is it not possible to throw away even this mask?

Can God not meet Itself now? …, empty of pretense? …,

in complete openness? …,

with no fig leaf of shame or guilt? ….,

no limitation of body or mind?

The seller of masks will continue to knock at your door.

How long will God continue to buy the stories of this one?

Can we not meet mask-less? …, open to all appearances? …, empty of any positions? …, not rushing to conclusions?

Can we not meet as little children? …, playing as this world itself? …,

knowing that Mother is taking care of everything?

Let’s meet Now …, as No-thing…, as That which witnesses all things. Here there are no-two …, no you or I. This is my favorite meeting place …, beyond time and space.

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Dissolving Fear of the Non-localization of Awareness

Q:I find that talking with others, it’s not that discovering ‘I Am’ or being aware of this Awareness is unknown. But the fear of being this vastness somehow, as if it’s outside the body (which it is; but here it’s not fearful, this localization that’s playing as form/name. Still [Aware Presence is] is untouched but not separate). Can you give any clues for that…, this shying away from the vastness which the mind conjures up of non-localization, of no center? … (instead of just Here Now, Aware Presence and All That Is?)

A:Mostly what happens is like the first time we get on an airplane and we start to leave the ground, going above the clouds, some fear can come. The fear of heights, the fear of falling. But as you get used to it, then you see that so many of us when we go on flights, we’re just like when we’re at home. Most of us don’t even bother to look out the window and see that we’re flying above the clouds. Something seems to recognize the naturalness of this and it no longer seems like a scary, alien concept.

So, as we are coming to this naturalness, the mind will use this appearance that ‘I cannot find MySelf anywhere in this universe; not in this body, not in this room, not in this city’…, like you said very beautifully ‘non-localization’. No attribute, no shape, no size. That’s why I say ‘It is here that is within Me’. I am not ‘here’. I’m beyond ‘here’ and ‘there’ but this ‘here’ is just another aspect of MySelf.

So, this vastness of YourSelf, this non-local, non-phenomenal vastness that You’re discovering about YourSelf…, of course the mind will use every opportunity to conjure up some scary visuals, some scary feelings of what is going to happen. But as it becomes more and more natural, then you will find that to consider YourSelf to be local will seem more of a pain. If you have to identify forcefully with a constricted, limited idea of yourself, it will start to feel like you are trying to fit into the shoes that you were wearing when you were 5 years old. You have outgrown all of this.

So, this is good. This little bit of fear is natural. You can call it the fear of dissolution, the fear of not finding yourself as a localized entity; fear of death to put it another way. All of this is just a little bit of wobbly-ness which can come. But as you get used to the taste of this more and more, as you start to enjoy not finding YourSelf in this phenomenal way (there is no ‘me’ here to find) …, as this becomes more and more clear (as it is in your case) then you might even come to this place where, even if (in the play) some fear is coming, it’s fine. In fact, can we go so far as to say even that is enjoyable to some extent?

[Silence]

Not just that it is outside the body; it is outside your true body, which is this manifest universe itself. The manifest universe is the body of this aspect of YourSelf called Consciousness.

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Why do you think I keep saying in Satsang ‘I will not let you settle, not let any of you settle, for a limited idea about YourSelf’?

[Silence]

As you are coming to the naturalness of this, I’m already seeing how many Beings are coming in contact with you and finding the Light of their own Presence (in your simplicity, naturalness, no specialness, always surrendered to the feet of the Master). People are coming to this clarity, or at least coming to the openness about what they could be in Reality.

[Silence]

Because as they are starting to meet you now, they are meeting something which is not considering itself to be just contained within a physical body. You may not say these words but your Presence conveys it.

[Silence]

All power to you, my beloved children. May my Master’s Light shine through each and every one of you.

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Vigilance and Inquiry

Q:My question is about when I’m involved in the world, in college or whatever, it seems like on my part there’s always a responsibility to always be vigilant, like a watcher, to see whether I’m taking anything personally or not. And just this is making me restless all the time.

A:Yes. This is a very good question. Often, I say that if freedom was to look like this [makes stressful, rotating hyper-attentive moves with his body] …, if you’re constantly ‘Is the mind coming? Is the mind coming?’ then this doesn’t look like a free Sage at all. [Chuckles] It looks like somebody who is scared out of his wits. A Sage is not like that. So, the meaning of vigilance has been taken too far maybe.

Let me put it another way. So, vigilance (as I would say) is this simple non-denial. If you’ve been watching Satsang or you’ve been in Satsang for some time, then when you pick up an idea about yourself, it is bound to poke; some suffering is bound to show up very quickly, actually. See? So, when that happens, we are not to be in some sort of Advaita denial or something; but we are to look and say ‘What it is that I am really believing about myself?’ So, pull that into your inquiry until that concept becomes empty of belief, empty of any lies. This much vigilance is enough.

So, just be free, relax, let your attention go wherever it wants. But if something starts to smell then just don’t say ‘Oh, I’m the Self; there can be no smell’ or something like that…, (unless it is coming from your heart as a response to that smell, to wipe it away). Notice if it’s coming from the mind and we tend to just try to ‘Advaita it’ or repress it away. Then, you look at that and you pull it into your inquiry and See.

Then, vigilance becomes like this, like a simple non-denial of what is appearing, of what is your direct experience. In this way, this mind’s tactic of using this denial (which humans are very, very good at) …, then it can’t use that power of denial to reinforce itself back again.

This much vigilance is enough. You don’t have to be constantly like this. [Makes hyper-attentive gestures]. Just be a little bit open to Seeing. ‘Am I believing something about myself? Have I picked up a concept about myself again?’ And this life will show you; especially because you’re in Satsang. (I don’t know if this is bad news or…) [Chuckles] You’ll find that once you come to Satsang (many of you will find this) that anything that you pick up about yourself which is not aligned to the Truth, quickly a ‘whack’ comes. And when the ‘whack’ comes, use that as an opportunity to inquire. That much is enough. It’s clearer?

Q:Yes. I usually try to save inquiry for those moments when I’m not trying to get rid of it; more or less when I’m actually interested in it. This is something that I happened to come across recently about myself. It seems like inquiry…, is it true that inquiry must be reserved for those moments of real interest?

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A:Hmmm. Is it true that inquiry must be reserved for those moments when you have real interest? [Silence] It’s good, it’s good. But I won’t reserve it in that way. Because mostly like that, it’s fine; but sometimes it’s just simply questioning ‘Who am I?’ It doesn’t even have to be ‘inquiry!’ It can just be, when something starts poking, just gently bring this question: ‘Who is suffering?’ This that much can be helpful.

Now, if you’re doing inquiry like a practice, like a sadhana, then yes, I would say; be ready in the heart for it. [Puts hands on heart] If you’re devoted to it in that way, then your sadhana is beautiful.

But your inquiry will become very much part of your day-to-day existence. It doesn’t even have to be ‘Who am I?’ It can just be ‘Who…?’ Or even before you can come to ‘Who…?’ it is done, many times.

What is it really?

What is the question ‘Who am I?’ provoking?

It is provoking this inner looking for what is here. That inner looking can happen whatever the trigger might be. So, if I say something you don’t like, for example, [Makes a contracted, defensive movement with his body] something can drop off when you just look. Suppose you’re being like [your ego-identity] and I say [sternly] ‘You haven’t understood anything about inquiry!’ …, something hurtful like that, then something can start to build up. You can [relax and just gently look and ask yourself] ‘What was that?’ It doesn’t even have to be accompanied by that.

Inquiry becomes just like that. Simple.

Q: So, you say that it becomes instant looking.

A:It can be. And yet, if you’re using it as a sadhana, if you’re devoting some time to it, it’s a beautiful thing.

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A Sage Can Appear to be Like Anyone Else Sometimes

Q: Isn’t thinking due to advertence only, even in non-Sages?

A:Yes, well, let us define what we mean by thinking: Usually what I say in Satsang is that thinking is not the appearance of thoughts because this appearance of thoughts is coming whether Sage or non-Sage, doesn’t really matter. When we use the term ‘thinking’ we are including that belief in the thought; that condition, that picking up of the identity. So, mostly in humanity, what we see is that it is the standard operating procedure, so to speak, that we seem to follow the voice of this mind and the thoughts believe most of what it is saying. But for a Sage it is rare. So, inadvertence in the sense of the rarity of it in a Sage. Like there are beautiful stories like this: At one time one being came to Shirdi Sai Baba and he told Baba that ‘This follower of yours who has been coming to you for many years, something has happened to him and he has fallen very ill.’ Then Baba also for a few moments got a bit worried and said ‘No, no let’s go and see what has happening and we’ll call the doctor’. (I am paraphrasing; I was obviously not there.) So, like that. But within a few moments, he came back and said ‘No, everything will be fine. Everything is taken care of now. Nothing is outside the Will of God.’

So, Guruji [Sri Mooji] says sometimes, for example, ‘When I am irritated with someone, I want them to come right then! Because if they take two minutes, then the irritation is gone and I don’t know what to tell them.’ [Chuckles]

So, this is rare that something gets picked up even in the lives of Sages. And this is always a very beautiful aspect for me. Because, you know, if there was an exhibit (and I don’t actually like it when books and stories convey this very ‘hundred percent’…, somebody was there who was just hundred percent something) because in reading all this, in hearing all this, the freedom which is so obvious became more and more unapproachable here. So, for a long time the seeking continued because the benchmark was [gesturing far away] this hundred percent ideal; that you must come to this. And when you start to hear stories like this, when you notice that, you wonder ‘But is this hundred percent true for anyone?’ That is why they have done a great disservice to all of us by putting those moments in the lives of all the Great Ones. That is why the part of Ramayan (which is very enjoyable for me) is that Ram also cried from grief when Sita was taken away. He also considered himself to be husband for a few moments. Jesus also had a tantrum with God when he said ‘Father, oh Father, why have you forsaken me?’ …, on the cross. In the face of so much phenomenal stimulus (especially of pain) it is very natural for a moment or two to buy into the idea that you are a limited object. So, the benchmark is not that hundred percent.

This is what is implied in the statement that they go to thinking, not as a natural way of existence, but as an inadvertence. Whereas most of humanity, they seem to go to their thinking as their natural way of existence.

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Thoughts Like Waves Come & Go

Q:Father, can we say the waves of the universe are nothing but the voice in the head, because perception of the world does not trouble us at all?

A:Yes, yes. What he [Ashtavakra] is meaning, I feel, is not the feeling of the ups and downs. The feeling of the ups and downs (if that is what the waves are conveying to you) is because of the belief in the voice in the head. But what he is talking about is that ‘I am the shoreless ocean in which all of this appearance and disappearance and objects and no objects, the coming and going of people, events, all of this is just like waves coming and going in this ocean within MySelf, within My Being.’

This giddiness (because of the waves, it is giving you giddiness) is because of the voice in the head; if you feel like you are the sufferer of them.

Q:Okay, anyway, I have just a short statement to make. Because he said [from Ashtavakra Gita] ‘The waves come and go, but I am not impatient.’ We can say that only this comes and goes, this interpretation which the voice is continuously giving us.

A:The waves come and go, the events as they are meant to. I find a job, I lose a job. But then the mind comes and says ‘No, no, but you have to make a career for yourself.’ Only when that voice comes and says that can I get impatient about something. The waves of the universe are just coming and going. It is when the voice of the interpreter is bought in that this seeming side-effect comes; which is of impatience, of wanting to grasp something or to hold on to something.

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The Difference Between Insight and Thought

Q:Dear Father, I’m the one with the cluttered intellect. Please pardon this foolish question. What is the difference between insight and thought? Does not insight also arise as a thought? Please do clarify this confusion. Thank you.

A:It is not a foolish question, it’s a very good one. Many times, earlier, I used to say ‘What do we mean by contemplation versus what is the idea of contemplation for most of the world?’

There is a great sculptor called Rodin, who made the sculpture called ‘the thinker’. What is he doing? He’s thinking. [Makes the pose of ‘the thinker’ and there’s laughter in the room] So, this contemplation is not what we mean by contemplation. I don’t want you to take a concept and think about it.

What I mean by contemplation is to look for yourself to see what is there, using your inner insight. What do I mean by inner insight? You will see that just like there are these senses which give you these sensory perceptions, this perceptual knowledge, there is also this inner seeing which brings things like memory, imagination, thoughts, pain/pleasure, sensations; there is a full universe of inner objects (seemingly-inner objects. Actually, there is no difference between inner and outer). So, this insight; when you turn this insight and look: ‘What witnesses this?’ We divest it from these objects, either outer or inner, and say ‘Okay, what witnesses that? Who am I?’ That’s why Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said ‘In the inquiry, when the thought comes, instead of worrying about the content of the thought, ask yourself: Who witnesses this thought?’

[Silence]

Now, our worldly vocabulary is not meant for these kinds of contemplations so we have to borrow it from how it is usually used and give it our own twist. So, when we say ‘contemplation’ we are looking at this. Just stay with your own inner Seeing rather than what picture the mind is painting out of that. The picture the mind is painting could be both as a thought as well as a visual. Many times, when we talk about the unlimited Awareness, the mind is saying ‘Okay, unlimited awareness? I’ll give you that. Here it is, this big black space of nothingness’. You see? And it will fool us like that. And every time we start to refer to ourselves, we are thinking that ‘I am some big black space’ or something. But the question remains:

Who witnesses that?

Who witnesses even this space?

Is that black?

Is that white?

Is it transparent or opaque?

Does any quality apply to that?

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This Seeing, this exploration, is empty of conceptual content. It is your pure perceiving, till you come to the limits of perception itself. Then you find that there is an Awareness which is aware even of perception; independent of any concept, independent of any inference…, this recognition.

Okay, let me put it simpler. We can have a lot of concepts of the Eiffel tower, for example. It is like this, it was built after the world war, it was like this; we can have a lot of concepts of it. But when we have the perception of it, you say ‘Yes, I saw the Eiffel tower’.

Now this is the invitation. Can you see YourSelf?

But the trick is (that’s why one of the clues is) that you will not see it like other objects. You will find YourSelf but You will not perceive it that way, objectively. That’s why my Master [Sri Mooji] says this is the only non-phenomenal experience that you will have. And just because it is non-phenomenal, the mind will come and try to deny it. But actually, the recognition of it is undeniable. You are aware, and the ‘You’ that is aware is not different or separate from this Awareness Itself. And this You will speak from Your own insight.

This is what I mean. I can tell you; I can tell you that you are Awareness and you can have it as an inference that ‘Okay, I am Awareness’.

So, if someone asks you ‘Who are you?’

You can say ‘I am Awareness’ but it is just conceptual.

Then I start to ask you ‘Are you aware now?’

You say ‘Yes’.

What saw what?

Nothing was seen objectively yet the answer is ‘Yes’. It is very subtle and yet it is very simple. [Smiling] It’s pristine actually.

If you can meet me here then it’s SO simple because all I’m saying is…, if I say ‘Do you see spectacles?’ [waving his spectacles] you look for spectacles. You find something in the shape of a spectacle, you have a phenomenal perception of that and you say ‘Yes, I see spectacles’. But if I ask you ‘Are you aware now?’ even if your attention goes to some objects, you are not saying ‘I am this computer’ …, you are saying ‘I am aware of the computer’.

What is that ‘aware’?

How is that perceived?

If you say ‘I’m sitting on a couch’ there is a knowledge of both sitting and couch. So, don’t let the mind trick you to saying ‘Yes, I am aware’ only because you saw some content.

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Okay, let me go very slowly. If you are sitting on a couch, you know both what sitting is and what the couch is. It is not that there is couch therefore there must be sitting. So, when you say ‘I am aware of existence’ then you must be aware of both what ‘aware’ is and what existence is.

But just because Awareness does not have a quality, it does not have an attribute, it does not have a shape or size, it can feel like ‘But I did not discover this, I didn’t recognize this’. But You Are! It is your most primal, most natural recognition. Because nobody taught you to be aware; you might have learned how to sit or stand but Awareness always has been. And that’s what makes it so seemingly-ungraspable. You feel like ‘But that can’t be it. I’ve always just been this. Is it that?’

I was sharing a story the other day about Swami Vivekananda. Every time Swami Vivekananda would close his eyes he would see some light between his eyebrows and he never shared this with anyone because he felt ‘What’s the big deal? I have felt like everybody would have it’. Just like that; you’ve always been the Self and the discovery seems difficult now because when you recognize it you see ‘Oh, wow, this has always been here. Where was I searching?’ It’s almost embarrassing. [Chuckling]

I used to say at one point (half-jokingly, of course) that the awakening experience is almost like a ‘face palm’ moment! You know what a face palm moment is? [Touches his palm to his head, like a gesture of surprise at the ‘of course!’ recognition of it] So, you get comfortable with it not being something special and yet at the same time very pristine.

It’s very simple:

Without expectation: Are you aware?

What is the color of this awareness?

What is aware of your sight?

Of any sensory functioning?

Of even this inner perception?

What is aware of that?

[Silence]

You Are…, undeniably. Isn’t it? You are aware of this already. But it will not conform to any idea of what should happen now, as you discover this. The idea that something should happen can also be kept aside. It is not ‘a happening’. It is what You have always been. And yet in the play, the recognition of what You have always been can seem like a happening.

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When I ‘Stay as Awareness’ There is a Sense of No Control

Q:When I am Awareness, then I see that this entire play is coming and going; my hands are moving, these sounds are just coming on their own. There’s a sense of no control, of anything. It’s unsettling.

A:Yes, it is a bit unsettling. It’s true. [Chuckles] It is a bit unsettling. That’s why I say many times that it can be a bit shaky because this happens when you are switching over from the false perspective to the true perspective. So, it is like the shakiness because we held on to a lot of crutches which are now being left aside. So, it can feel like ‘But I’m not moving anything. My hands are moving, my mouth is moving (this which I considered my hands and my mouth which are just moving, just like every appearance is moving in this world) and this recognition that there is no sense of individual control here can be a bit unsettling.

Q: [Inaudible]

A:All that is coming and going, You are beyond that; beyond the time and space and whatever you call the dimensions of this phenomenal appearance. You are very much beyond that. And yet, all of this is not outside of You.

I was saying the other day that the distinction between father and son (although they are one) is that the son comes from the Father, the father does not come from the son. So, this Awareness, the Source of even Being, the Source of Consciousness, is what You Are.

Now, time and space, dimensions, all of that is post. [post facto] So, You cannot be contained in anything which comes after You.

Q: It also means that I can do nothing.

A:Yes, not in the way that we thought about ‘doing’. All of this is Your doing; You-as- Consciousness. You-as-Awareness remain untouched by any doing and non-doing. And you- personally never existed so never did anything. It was just Consciousness playing with the belief of individual doership.

So, the only question I would ask you then is when you say ‘When I am Awareness…’ is there a time when you are not?

Q: [Indicates ‘no’ off camera]

A:There isn’t such a time. So, this doesn’t only apply to that moment in which we have the recognition…, but is the recognition is of That which is always True.

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It Feels Like There is No Sense of ‘I’ in Awareness

A: [Reading Ashtavakra, who said, “Whatever you perceive is You and You alone.”]

Q:Father, there is no sense at all of identity in Consciousness or Awareness, so it feels so strange when they say ‘You’ …, but it’s not ‘other’ or ‘another’ also.

A:Yes, it can feel a bit strange. This ‘You’ doesn’t apply. He himself has said that ‘There are no two’. So, where would there be an ‘I’ and a ‘You’?

Just a reminder that even these scriptures are part of this play which are giving you those concepts that are getting rid of all the concepts of separation actually. That’s why the ‘dream alarm clock’ metaphor is very useful. These scriptures, the voice of the Satguru, is that alarm clock in the dream to remind us ‘You are not that which you consider yourself to be’.

That is why it is ‘You’…, just because it is a reminder that Consciousness has made for Itself. The reminder that there is no ‘me’ and ‘You’ is also for the apparent ‘you’. And when this apparent ‘you’ …, this individualized ‘I’ …, is dissolving, then it will sound strange, all this talk; that’s true.

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Attachment to the Guru and Satsang

Q:It is hard to give up this last attachment, which is enjoying the Knowledge of Self for Self. I come to Satsang because of the joy of this recognition, yet if it was taken away, there would still be this pure Knowledge. But…, attachment to the Guru and Satsang is so sweet.

A:[Silence] Actually, in your report itself, it is clear that what you say that ‘Even if this was to go away, I know that I would be the Self. Nothing real would be taken away from Me. So, that itself means that you are starting to witness this entire play as a movement of Consciousness and Consciousness playing both the roles of coming to Satsang and sharing Satsang. All of this is the one play of Consciousness.

You are also starting to See that all this idea of coming to Satsang ‘because…’ or deciding to come or not to come, all of this is more or less getting wiped away now because you See it all as a movement of Consciousness. [Silence]

So, why do you come to Satsang? You don’t know. Why do I share Satsang? I don’t know. I can give some answer but I don’t really know. So, from this ‘not-mental’ Knowing, there is trust in this Grace about how all of this has moved and great wonder about how this play functions.

Then you say something very beautiful; you say, “Attachment to the Guru and Satsang is so sweet.” It is a rare, sweet attachment. [Chuckles] A rare sweet attachment. Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘If you have to be attached to something in this world, be attached to the Master because even this attachment is his problem now.’ The Master takes care of all our attachments, including this, which can seem like it is the final attachment.

As long as it can seem like ‘There is a me and there is my Guru’ then best that if there has to be an attachment, let it be to that One. Then you will See that (not that you ‘will’ See it, I know you already See it but) in the worldly play, I know that this feeling can seem so sweet. And I’ve said also that if there are a few attachments that remain here, it is to Guruji for this sangha and to my physical, phenomenal family there is some attachment which continues to play out; knowing fully well that this is also his problem.

It’s been such a great blessing to move away from all this painful attachment to come to this beautiful point that we can even say that ‘This attachment is so sweet.’

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When Mind Says to Drop Attachment to the Guru

A visual is coming to me, so I’ll share from there. Many times, the mind can also play this trick that we better drop this attachment to the Guru. It’s like saying that we feel like we are drowning in the ocean and we are holding on to some rocks or some seaweed or something trying to keep ourself from drowning. And then the Master comes and he gives out his hand; he’s sitting in a boat, so he gives out his hand. And the Master says ‘Let go. Let go of everything else. Hold my hand.’

And then, the mind will come and say ‘If you have to let go of everything, then you will not only let go of the seaweed and the rock but you will also let go of the Master’s hand.’ So, that’s why Guruji has said that even this one is his problem.

When he knows that we are safely at shore, then he will let us go.

So, we remain empty of all other worldly attachments. If we find that there is attachment for the Guru, then even this attachment is his problem.

As we empty our hands of phenomenal attachments, when we become open like this, that is when actually the Guru is holding our hand and this hand is not let go of in a worldly way. This hand actually becomes a communion or a merging.

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What Remains is This Inexpressible Awareness

Q:So, it seems that is the way to find this no-identity-True-You that he [Ashtavakra] speaks of, is that ‘I remain when all else is gone’. Then no word ‘I’ is needed, or even felt; what he calls ‘You’.

A:Yes. What remains is just This; Awareness without any separation, any ‘I’ or ‘You’. And yet, the discovery is the most intimate discovery that we are making about our Self.

[Silence]

This is a beautiful distinction because many times it can happen in the world that we’ll come across a worldly object and we get very besotted by it. But then also we can have this feeling of forgetting about ourself, our limited self. In India, it is said “Jab pyar kiya toh darna kyun” meaning ‘When you are in love, then what is there to fear?’ And people have been known to give up their lives in love and these kinds of things, you know, that kind of phenomenal love.

So, when we come to the discovery of this Awareness, it is not a discovery like that where we discover something outer where we then forget about the limited self. Here we are discovering something which is so intimately ‘I’…, closer than anything has ever been [Silence] that we are forgetting about the limited self. And because it is the Self that is being discovered, it is unlike the worldly infatuation. Because it is not coming and going.

It’s very beautiful, isn’t it? So, our experience of fearlessness, desirelessness, has been in the past because of our infatuation with a worldly object; when we experience this kind of fearlessness or courage, it’s because of letting go of our limited self because we got so devoted or infatuated with an outside object.

Here, what You’re finding is that innermost Truth about Your own Being (in fact, prior to Being…, that which is not coming and going, is not changing) Consciousness is discovering the immaculate nature of Its own Source and letting go of the fear and the desires of the limited self.

And this even fits in very well with what she was saying earlier, which is that the outer Guru might seem to come in an external form and there can be some times that they feel they become so attached to that and that [the Guru and Satsang] has actually has brought us so much peace in our life. But this will be the only external attachment which will lead you to your own inner discovery. That is the true function of the Master.

In India actually, there’s a lot of controversy around some Masters and all the stories of exploitation and all of that. So, this is how you do your ‘due diligence’. (We’re speaking just worldly for a minute.) This is how you check:

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In the Master’s Presence, the Master’s words: Does it have the fragrance of my own inner Being?

Are they pointing me to that unchanging reality that I Am?

Are they saying that the outer Master is just a representation of Your inner holy Presence?

And initially, when we come to Satsang, we ‘smell’ like this: What is the fragrance around a Being?

In this, you will find that the words that are being spoken, you are hearing…

Funny, it’s been reported also like this, isn’t it, that ‘Wow, before the words are emerging from your mouth, I’m already hearing them.’ Someone reported like this. [Chuckles] Some have said ‘You are answering all the questions that I had, without my even asking them.’ Some say that ‘I’m discovering what I find as You is My own Presence, My own Heart.’ All of this…, the sense of coming Home, the sense of being at Peace; all of this is how you come to this beautiful recognition.

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Are There Any Pure Thoughts Not About ‘Me’?

Q:Father, are there any thoughts which are not ‘What’s in it for me’ thoughts?

A:I’ve said the ego’s maha-mantra is ‘What’s in it for me?’

Q:I’ve been looking but can’t find.

A:There are some which come very innocently trying to just give you a taste or a translation of something purely phenomenal. Like I take the example: The flower is white. The thought can come ‘The flower is white’. But if you give it a minute or two, soon a judgment which comes with the ‘me’ will come, like ‘I like this’. You see? The ‘me’ will come. ‘Ah, the white flowers, these are very nice.’ … ‘The coconut is green.’ Innocent thoughts, just a bad photocopy of the phenomenal experience. Therefore, just harmless in that way.

‘The coconut is green.’ But again, ‘Coconuts are nice, they are very good. I should have a coconut every day.’ It starts like that. And you’ll notice that the experience of the green coconut or the white flower does not rely on the concept ‘green coconut’ or ‘white flower’. So, to experience this phenomenal realm, we don’t need the conceptual crutches of thought. The experience of it is already happening. The taste of life continues to be tasted. Like the Sage said, “Seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, eating.” But he didn’t say ‘Thinking’. So, in existence, all of this natural functioning (as long as existence is arising) all this naturally can happen. The functioning of the senses, eating and other bodily functions, they can just continue.

You do not need thinking to exist.

You do not need thinking to even taste the experience of this phenomenal creation.

So, sometimes thought will come and pose and say ‘Oh, Ananta is wrong because I’m just saying the coconut is green, you see? Why does he say don’t believe this? Nothing wrong with this; the coconut is green.’ [Laughs] But you notice, the mind is very tricky. It might just give you a very direct-seeming phenomenal report but very quickly you will find it makes a judgment which is more of the ‘me’. And the limited sense of ‘me’ is quick to catch on.

So, whether or not some thoughts seem empty of selling the story of the ‘me’…, very quickly you’ll see that this one, it comes to the sales pitch very quickly. The salesman called the mind will come very quickly. It might bait you with some harmless-sounding concepts but very quickly, it gets the limited idea of ‘me’ bought.

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Clues About Relationships

A slight digression, which I feel also is a little bit important here since this came up about ‘relationships’. One simple thing to see is that if there is a sense that ‘I want Freedom’ then are we able to also give that Freedom? Many times, many Beings have come to the idea that they have found their Freedom and yet when we see their expression, outward expression in life, it can seem like ‘But they are not giving the Freedom to anything in the world’.

Like ‘Sometimes it should be like this, you must only do that, you must have only this, you can only do that’. So, this sense of control, you see. It is a subtle point. We want Freedom and we say ‘Ah, please, the world, including my partner, should let me be exactly as I am.’ But in that, are we letting our partner be exactly how he or she is? Are we giving the Freedom to the Ones around us to also be deluded for as long as they like? [Chuckles]

Sometimes, we are forcing our idea of Freedom upon them. It is a very subtle topic. So, when somebody comes to me for advice and says ‘Father, this one, my family, my brother, my husband, my wife, they are suffering so much. Can I speak to them about this? Can I share something here?’ And my advice usually is that if there is an urge in your heart and it is coming from a true place, and not from any sort of specialness, then knock gently. Knock gently. If the door opens and there is an invitation for you to share then make these pristine sharings available to them.

Why am I saying all this? There was a point here, before I met Guruji [Sri Mooji] there was a time here (and many of you who have been with me for long have heard this story, but many new Ones are there in Satsang today so I want to share this) there was a time where I was the worst representation of the Advaita spiritual ego.

So, then what would happen is that I would be at work, Garima would be at work, she would come back home, we would come back home and then she would say like this ‘You know I had such a terrible day, and today this happened’ and I would say ‘But who are ‘you’?’ And she, poor thing, would say ‘But I am just trying to sharing my day with you and I am trying to relate and have this conversation. This is what relationships do, isn’t it? Share their ups and downs in life? And every time I talk to you only say ‘Who are ‘you’? or even better ‘How do you know this is not a dream?’ So, all of this has happened here where very natural day-to-day conversations have been taken by the spiritual ego and then represented in that way.

Actually, I then met Ramesh [Ramesh Balsekar] one day. The next time I went to Mumbai (maybe something was bothering me). So, I said ‘I understand and resonate so much with this non-doership thing that you talk about, about how there is no individual doer. But how do I explain all this to my wife?’ So, he said to me ‘Let her come to you.’ And those words stuck. Somehow, when those words stuck, then I realized what was happening here was trying to convey that ‘I am at a different level now’. Maybe some good intention was also there; I won’t

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say it was that bad. But a lot of it was about this Advaita specialness. ‘See I have discovered the Truth like this. Come, I will help you also see. What is this petty stuff that you are bothered about?’ This kind of specialness.

So, the Freedom about both these things, when someone asks or invites us in, even then, be gentle. Try to meet them where they are. Don’t try to push your perspective. Because remember that all that we share here also are just pointers; it is just pointers. And the same set of pointers does not apply to everyone. If it would apply to everyone then we would have tens of thousands of people here. For those who have a specific set of conditioning, a certain set of pointers apply. For another with another set of conditioning, a different set of pointers apply. So, there is no need to pick up any arrogance about this being the best path, the only true path or something like that. Especially in our relationships, we don’t need to thrust this down anyone’s throat. You allow them to come to you. And if you truly feel there is intent in your heart to share this, what is the right way? The right way is to knock gently and wait for the door to open. Don’t try to tear the door down and give it to them straight and explain to them.

Don’t jump into becoming the next Maharaj [Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj] or Papaji [Sri Poonja] or something like that. Even with these great Sages, they only shared with those who came to them. Maharaj, for most of Mumbai, was a bidi seller. To whomever knew him, he was a bidi seller. So, I am sure that when people came to him and said ‘Give me the packet of cigarettes or bidis’ he did not say ‘Who wants to smoke?’ He probably said, ‘Which brand do you want?’

There is a deeper message in this, which is that as we are claiming this Freedom for ourself, we must also give it to the world. Let the world be as it is; including the actions that happen from here. Don’t pick up guilt or pride about them.

Now, this sort of acceptance does not mean you become a sheep; that you force yourself to come to this position from this acceptance. That will also become a position. Empty of positions, you will watch that the functioning of this body/mind will continue in its natural way. The Sage says that seeing, talking, hearing…, everything will happen.

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You Don’t Need a Spiritual Report Card

Q:Father, I would leave this burden of benchmarking at your feet, but I feel that mind is trying to grasp it.

A:Yes. Now, the trouble with this checker guy, or this benchmarking, is that even if I say ‘Don’t benchmark’ you will say ‘Okay, I’ve dropped 50% of my benchmarking’. It makes a benchmark even of that. [Chuckles] You see?

We really cannot ‘do’ this. We cannot ‘do’ this. Somewhere, something just hits home and it flowers; in the play of Consciousness playing as the deluded one and coming to this place of freedom. When I sat at the feet of my Father, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even not-do anything. There was this dropping of doing and not-doing. Did I do that? No, I didn’t. [Chuckles] Did I not do that? No, I didn’t.

So, just if it feels like we have a job to do or there’s something I can do, with as much innocence as possible, allow these words to percolate your Being. Your Being Itself is sharing them. And these words will guide your attention to wherever it has to go. It will guide your inner insights to wherever they have to go, because these are the words of Your own intuitive Presence. You don’t have to work at it in that way.

That’s why I said also in the book that ‘It is Consciousness Speaking with Consciousness’. No personal intervention is needed. Because to the person, everything becomes something to attain, something to get to. Even if I say ‘Get rid of the checker guy; don’t buy the story of the checker guy’…, you will start to check ‘Have I gotten rid of the checker guy?’ [Chuckles] That IS the checker guy. You see?

We don’t need to meet at that level. Something is already moving here. In your Heart, you Know this.

The words of Satsang, the Presence of Satsang, all the play of the sangha, all of this is pointing you to That which is Your unchanging Reality. The mind that only understands phenomenal quantities (and that, too; a very few of those) cannot be the guide on this journey. And if you choose two partners, you choose the Guru and you choose the mind, you yourself will find it very uncomfortable. You will find it a struggle, the spiritual journey. I take some examples some times. I say it’s like trying to sit on two chairs at the same time. Or trying to ride two horses at the same time.

Go with that voice which reminds you of Your true unchanging nature.

Let go of the hand of the one that is only reminding you of your limitation; which is just the mind. It is telling you that you are a spiritual seeker. It is telling you that you are a good or bad

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person. Both cannot be true. There is one voice which is saying that You are the unlimited, unbounded, unborn Self. And one voice which is saying that you are just this container of flesh and blood and bones. If you listen to both of these voices at the same time, it’s going to be a struggle, you see.

So, Ashtavakra in the second or third verse said ‘Shun the senses like a poisonous snake’ or something. I would say ‘Just shun your next thought in that way.’ We don’t have to even be so strong. You can just laugh at it and say ‘Oh, I just don’t buy what you’re selling me’. [Laughs a bit]

Ride one horse. It’s more comfortable that way.

The force of the mind now, in its most dominant aspect of being the spiritual seeker, as this checker guy, gives you ideas about how far you’ve come in your spiritual progress. None of that is needed. You don’t need that report card. I am telling You that You Are Free. You don’t need this report card anymore.

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How Does a Sage Live in the World?

Q: Father, how does the Sage live in the world? They are being seen as a Light entity.

A:A Sage does not actually live in the world. A Sage does not really live in the world. That outer expression…, in this play what is happening is that it seems like some aspects of

Consciousness are discovering their true Source. (None of this is true, the Absolute Truth, but just to give some explanation to clarify): In the appearance, we find that most aspects of Consciousness continue to move as if they are individual entities. Some rare aspects of Consciousness seem to come to this discovery of their true Self, which is non-phenomenal.

So, your question must mean then that ‘How does this outer appearance of this one seem to move?’ That one seems to move in the same way, with the same power that it always did; only Consciousness was making this movie come alive and it continues to be Consciousness making the movie come alive. But Consciousness is also designed it in such a way that those who are open to this very same discovery about themselves, yearning for the same truth about themselves, those aspects of Consciousness who are yearning for this, when they come across such an aspect, such a Being in their outward play, will immediately sense a sense of attraction; some resonance. And it is not just with this; it seems to be a design of Consciousness. I have seen it like this in worldly life. You see, like this: If you have some friends who are very interested in wine, for example, they are a collector of wine, they are a connoisseur of wine. All they have to do is hear the word ‘wine’ and they will be so attracted. [Gesturing excitement] ‘Oh wine! Okay, what is it? Which vintage do you like to collect?’ All this will be there. So, this attraction to commonality, to resonance, is there in the play of Consciousness.

In the same way, when there is one aspect which has come to this unwavering discovery about their Self, if that yearning is true in your heart, when you come across such a Being there is bound to be this resonance and attraction. So, then this is how the life of the Sage plays out where, due to some reason or another, those who are meant to come to them to find the same Truth that they have discovered about themselves, they seem to be drawn. So, that is why in the presence of the Sage, you might find a lot of peace, a lot of joy, a lot of Shanti; coming to a stillness, quietude. Whereas another, who is yet not looking for this in the worldly play, might find just torture of boredom and frustration. And that has happened here also, that some who have come fresh without knowing what they were getting into, just couldn’t handle it. Some had to leave within the first few minutes. [Chuckles] This is the outward play of the Sage.

Now, if the Sage was deciding how to live, then the Sage would still be considering himself the doer. The Sage doesn’t live on the basis of this kind of effortful doership. And you know very well what that means; it doesn’t mean that the doing stops, but a simpler way of putting it is that the Sage’s body just becomes an instrument for the Divine Presence.

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Is Suffering Also Not the Will of Consciousness?

Some of you might say ‘Why is it said, especially in Advaita Vedanta, that sufferings stops? Is suffering also not the will of Consciousness?’ That´s a very valid question.

Why do we focus on this end of suffering or almost 100% end of suffering? Why is it an important notion in Vedanta? It is because in the design of this play, unless there is this egoic identity, unless there is belief in this limited self, the play of this aspect called suffering cannot happen. Because suffering is not a pure energetic appearance. Isn´t it?

We can say anger can be looked at as a pure energetic appearance. Something happens, something feels attacked, anger comes. You see?

Now, how to make anger into resentment? Can you do it without mixing egoic belief with that? How to make it (not just anger) into resentment? How will you make an action that happened…, (suppose you shouted at your children, some shouting happened at your children) …, how will you make that movement into guilt? Can you do it without mixing egoic identity, mixing the false into it? How will you make something which was said, which helped another one in a great way …, (suppose you were just with someone and something was said like ‘Mom, thank you, that helped me so much!’) …, how do you convert that movement of appearances into pride? You cannot do it without mixing the ‘I-concept’ into it.

So, suffering is just a play of all of these ‘B-grade’ emotions (are what I call them) which means that you take this pure emotion (which might be sensational, which might be coming) and mix it up with some thoughts about yourself and then it becomes like…, anger becomes resentment, appearances become guilt or pride.

So, suffering is just a generic name for all of these ‘B-grade’ emotions. It´s a generic name. In the experiencing of any of these (if you seem to experience any of these) you say that this is like that.

Now, as more and more we´re becoming empty of egoic belief, as we´re coming to the pure insight about what you really are, then to pick up this individualized I-thought becomes more and more trouble. And you already saw that guilt, pride, resentment, regret, remorse, any of these qualities of suffering that we spoke about, are not possible unless you mix up some sensation with the individual I-thought.

That is why it is seen that those who have come to this discovery (and more and more, are letting go of the false conditions about themselves) they come to the end of their suffering. Just like saying they come to the end of guilt or pride.

Of course, everything always was the play of Consciousness, but we are now talking about the mechanics and the design of Consciousness Itself, in its apparent way. And it seems to work in this way, that unless you pick up the notion of a limited ‘I’ you cannot play with experience such

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as guilt and pride, resentment and guilt. That is why it is said in Vedanta, over and over again, that you come to the end of suffering only in your true recognition of who You Are.

Now, like every notion there is a downside to this notion also. The downside of this notion also is that the ‘suffering comes to an end’ notion is handed over to the seeker-identity, the rampant seeker-identity called the ‘checker-guy’ (at least, I call it the ‘checker-guy’) which it then uses that itself, at the mildest appearance of any sensation, and says ‘See? You are still suffering’. And thereby enhancing egoic belief and therefore enhancing suffering itself; in the play. So, when it is handed over to the ego itself that ‘Suffering must come to an end’ then it can become a terrible notion.

Therefore, this statement, this ‘end of suffering’ must be just an innocent statement of your finding about the play of this life. It must not become a column in your report-card. Because you will say…, you will use concepts like ‘I should no longer feel guilt’ to make yourself feel guilty.

So, one is a report of how the design of Consciousness as a functioning of this play works and the second is the notion of ‘trying to get there’ or ‘trying to come to it forcefully’ which itself seem to amplify the trouble. Are you hearing what I am saying? Because it´s a bit subtle.

If your hands are truly open, then this notion of suffering will seem more and more alien. If they are closed, if there is resistance, if there is just conceptual understanding, then it might seem like suffering still perpetuates. And when suffering still seems to perpetuate, don´t then feed yourself also at that time the notion that suffering must end. Just remain as empty of notions as possible.

It is important to present both sides of this, because there are many who present just one side and that might cause confusion on that side. And I know that especially those who have been in Satsang long enough now are able to see this from both perspectives.

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Inquiry Contemplation

Let’s do this small experiment. Bring to your attention something that you feel you are very attached to, or can’t do without in life. If that something was taken away, then you might feel like you won’t be able to survive or some great suffering might come and last for a long, long time. The strongest attachment you can think of, bring that into your attention.

Now, find the one who is concerned about that. Don’t worry about what the attachment is. That is more like psychotherapy or something. If we were to dwell on what the nature of the attachment is and whether it is valid or invalid, that is a different approach.

Find the one who is concerned about it.

What does that one look like?

So, if someone says ‘I’m really concerned about not having money in my life’ …, find this one. Who is this one who is concerned? At what level are they?

Is it the body that is so concerned about the money? Does the body in itself (the sensations that we call body) does it have any sense of relationship with money; with job, with promotion, with relationships? [Silence] Even with freedom? Is freedom a part of the biological functioning? Does the body become thirsty; like if the body is not given water we start experiencing the sensations called thirst? Freedom is not like that, even though we use the term ‘thirst for freedom’. It is not like that. It is something else that we consider ourselves to be that is thirsting for all of this.

Can we identify this one? [Silence]

Who is this one? [Silence]

And if you can’t even find this one, how can what it is attached to have so much value? How can the attachments of this invisible man have so much value?

[Silence]

So, what’s going on? What’s going on? [Silence]

Even this play must be part of some divine magic by the unlimited One. You have the power to consider yourself to be something with limitations, with boundaries. [Silence]

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So, is it possible for you, for a few minutes, to identify your boundaries?

What do you really consider to be ‘me’?

Be honest with at least your own inquiry. You don’t have to expose it to the rest of the sangha. Find out for yourself: What is it that I truly still consider to be ‘me’? With no sense of judgement or guilt, bring these ideas into your own light. [Silence]

Who is this me?

What is its size, shape, color? When was it born?

Where did you come from? [Silence]

Where are you going? [Silence]

You must already know that you are something beyond this body because the answers for this body are very simple. Where did the body come from? It came from the mother’s womb. Where is it going? To the cremation grounds ultimately. Then there would not be so much confusion. Already there is knowing that there is something that I am which is beyond this body. [Silence]

Who is that one? [Silence]

And if you don’t have an intuitive insight about it yet, allow yourself to remain in the ‘I don’t know’. Don’t make a conclusion which is just imaginary and mental. Don’t be in a rush also to use big words like Consciousness and Awareness. Consciousness and Awareness which are just words from the mind are completely useless. ‘I don’t know’ is much more useful. [Silence]

This is how you will go from being a knower of things into the Knowingness itself. [Silence]

You will go from considering yourself to be an object to being this Awareness itself. [Silence]

Now any idea you have about being this ‘me’, find out where it came from. When was this idea born and what were you before that?

And you will find that all these ideas were picked up at one point or another. Anything you can say about yourself is not original to you.

Your limited identity has no basis in Reality. [Silence]

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This ‘me’ is not real.

This ‘me’ is not the truth.

It is just an idea.

We already saw that every idea can have the opposite. Therefore, no idea can contain the Reality which is all-encompassing, which contains all opposites. You cannot define yourself using this mind.

You cannot find yourself through concepts.

I’m here to remind you of this now.

The mind is just selling you identity. Like Ashtavakra said, “Having had enough of the endless workings of the mind, the wise one comes to rest. He neither thinks, nor knows, nor hears, nor sees.”

You know very well by now that the appearance of thinking can happen, the appearance of thought can still come; they are just ‘not served tea’. They are just not given belief. “He neither thinks nor knows, neither hears, nor sees.” Basically, the idea of doership has fallen away.

Yesterday we did this exercise of not taking one step; not taking one step because the Sage has said the Self is at no distance from You. In fact, You Are It.

If You Are It and the Self is no distance from You, you don’t need to move one step. Referring to your thoughts is one step; no need for that.

Referring to your senses is one step; no need for that. Referring to any sensations is a step;

Pain and pleasure is a step.

What is it that you are naturally?

Are you contained in these in these phenomenal appearances? Or are you something which witnesses that?

What is your greater position? [Silence]

All that is appearing is disappearing. Can you be an appearance? [Silence]

If you are an appearance, who are you appearing to? [Silence]

That must be the Eternal one, that must be the unborn, unchanging.

Who is that?

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Is it not You?

At no distance, what is there? [Silence]

That is why the Sage has said ‘Don’t go to your senses’. Not because there is an aversion to the phenomenal appearance; only because very quickly we latch on to the idea that ‘I am something phenomenal’.

But wait, before that, what witnesses this phenomenal world? [Silence]

Don’t move one step because it is at no distance from You. What are you most naturally now?

[Silence]

What is here which is unchanging? [Silence]

And many of you will have this recognition; many of you are having this recognition, but quickly you will take on the next project, ‘Okay, so I am the Self which is non-phenomenal. How should I live this?’ You don’t. Living goes on. [Silence] If it has to.

What did the Sage say yesterday? “Life continues without him.” [Chuckles] You don’t have to take on the project of trying to live the enlightened life. That is still the egoic idea we have about it. The recognition is very simple, very clean. In fact, in can be very sober. The exciting by- products may come or not; it’s okay. The recognition that You are This non-phenomenal witnessing is very straight forward.

But if, as you are coming into this recognition, you buy into this story from the mind again, of ‘Yes, now how do I live life like this?’ …, again, you’ve picked up this limited idea of yourself. ‘How do I live life like this?’ you cannot.

Life is living itself.

Life is in service to the Self.

It is an aspect of You.

It is not the entirety of You.

You are the greater.

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If There Is Nobody Who Is Bound, What’s the Problem?

Some of you might not know this; one of my favorite games is ‘I Am Awareness but….’

[Chuckles] Those who have been in Satsang for a while can get stuck in this game for quite a long time. The ‘but…’ might keep changing.

‘I’m Awareness but… how do I live it?’ ‘I’m Awareness but… where is the bliss?’

‘I’m Awareness but… but how do I stay as Awareness?’ ‘I’m Awareness but… my family doesn’t see it.’

‘I’m Awareness but… but why don’t I have the peace that was promised?’

Simply, what we are then saying is that ‘I am Awareness, but also I am a person’. Because what you notice after the ‘but…’ is not about Awareness. There are no ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ in Awareness. It’s this switch. ‘I am Awareness but…, what happened to the identity which I always considered myself to be? Wasn’t some eternal peace promised upon the discovery that I am Awareness?’ No; maybe it seemed like that was promised, but what was being pointed to was your own eternal contentment.

As long as you refer to yourself as the truest Self that You Are, you will find that it is beyond all this play of opposites (of desire and the giving up of doing and not-doing, of enjoying and of renouncing). And yet, somehow in this play that we call the spiritual journey, we are trying to juggle the True Self of which we have had some insight…, and the previous identity which has continued to retain some allegiance.

From Awareness, there emerges this Supreme Intelligence, Consciousness, Being, Atma. And this Intelligence has put out this beautiful play; and also the power to believe Itself to be a part of this play.

Many times, when we’re in Satsang, we feel like we’ve seen through the mirage. We’ve seen through the mirage and yet we continue to be concerned about what happened to that water. The mirage which was seeming like there was an individual entity here, the sense that I existed as something with name and form…, even when You See that You are much beyond that.

You cannot, in fact, be that limited one. Yet, even after that, many times these questions seem to get our belief. ‘What is going to happen to this one (me)?’ …, that non-existent one that I’ve been calling the blue cat. Who is going to feed the blue cat which never existed? Who is going to take care of this person who never was?

So, what is your starting point in Satsang? Again, I ask you today. Is your starting perspective already from the idea that ‘I am a person’ and you want your freedom? Or already, you can see Right Now that there is nobody that is bound.

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And if there is nobody who is bound,

then which problem are you trying to solve?

The minute you pick up the idea that it must always be like this (‘It’s only in Satsang when I come’) you pick up the individual ‘I’ again. So, just this little bit. The message [thought] comes: ‘You, you…, but what about me, me, me?’ Just this little bit. As you are watching these messages come and go, notice Your own power as Consciousness to not buy into this story. This much noticing is enough.

Otherwise, what will happen is that you might have an insight into Awareness. You might even see a glimpse. As Consciousness, you might recognize Your own Source, which is beyond even ‘I Am’…, before ‘I Am’ …, and the mind plays a trick on you and it says ‘Yes, I am Awareness’. But even in this proclamation, the limited ‘I’ can sneak in, and you start to feel that ‘I, as an individualized name and form, have now become Awareness and now this is how I need to live.’

I see many trying to live as if they are Awareness. (It’s a joke.) You cannot even imagine this formless One. How will you live as if you are That? It is your Source. The Source is not to be found in the phenomenal play. Because if this was also phenomenal, if you could play as if you are That in this phenomenal play, then Awareness would also be part of the coming and going. Because all phenomena comes and goes.

Don’t try to prove your discovery to anyone. It’s it your own doubt about your recognition which will make you play in that way. Don’t even make ‘I am Awareness’ into a maha-mantra. Don’t make it into an affirmation. Use it just as a pointing if you have to. Because even in this affirmation, the individual, the ‘special-I’ will creep in and you will start to play out the spiritual ego. Become empty of even this idea.

The Truth does not need any idea. You do not need to live a certain way. You cannot ‘live’ an enlightened life. This doer, this try-er, who is trying to live a particular way, who is trying to proclaim something now that belongs to it, is another play of the ego itself. And as I say over and over again, there is no project for you in this. Because in this moment, You are free from all of this.

All of these are just reminders for when the offer comes from the mind, like ‘Yes, now I’ve had the recognition of the Truth. Now, what should I do? Should I tell my family? Should I tell my sangha? How should I behave? How should I act?’ And then someone comes and says ‘So, what would you like for dinner today, my dear?’ [and you say] ‘I am Awareness. I do not eat.’ [Chuckles] And then later, sneak quietly to the kitchen fridge and open the door. [Chuckles]

So, don’t let these beautiful pointings become ideas by which the mind tries to retain some sense of individuality, some specialness.

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Belief is Only Possible When I Am Not Clear About My True Position

Q:What is coming up here is that belief seems only possible when I am not clear about my true position.

A:Yes. That´s why I say that it is in your recognition of the true position, the Truth. Here you will find so much space to let go of the position which the mind is trying to give you. And as you let go of the position which the mind is trying to give you, it seems the recognition is much more clear. This is the virtuous circle.

The mind has the opposite game plan. It wants to sell you a position about yourself. And as you seem to get stuck in a position about yourself, it seems like this recognition is just word games or mind games. When looked at from an individual perspective, Awareness can just seem like a word game or word play.

But when looked at from the position of the Self, of Awareness Itself, it is our personal play which can seem like an unimaginable game. You will start to wonder how you believed yourself to be a limited entity.

You are absolutely right that for belief there must be still identity saying, ‘Yes, this is meaningful for me.’ And you will find that that which has been nurtured with your belief in the past might still seem to come up as meaningful.

That is why both aspects of this play of Satsang, which is the recognition of the Truth as well as the letting go of the false, are completely dependent on each other. They are one play actually. Once you see that there is no blue cat then it becomes more difficult to buy the ideas about what the blue cat should do or what the blue cat wants.

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You, the Primal Witnessing, Are Beyond Time and Space

Q:The witness-er position also seems to shift for me. Sometimes witnessing is going on from different directions. That is how I perceive.

A:He says ‘The witness position also seems to shift.’ Now, if there is a shift, there must be something which is witnessing that. You see? If that itself is shifting, then you will not notice a shift. If you are in a plane and the plane is flying, then you don´t notice that the plane is flying unless you look outside for the perspective of the shift. You see? So, if that itself is shifting then you would not notice the shift. If you can feel something shifting, then find out what witnesses that.

If there is a sense that there is a perceiver here that seems to be shifting, then what witnesses this perceiver? Is that also shifting?

He said ‘The witness position also seems to shift for me. Sometimes witnessing goes on from different directions.’ Yes. So, that which witnesses from all these directions, does That itself have a direction?

Now, what you are coming to recognize through all this insight, is that You, the primal witnessing, is beyond time and space; is beyond directions; is not contained in this universe. Sometimes I tell those who have been in Satsang with me that I am taking you on a voyage beyond this universe. So, you´ll find that this concept of directions does not apply because there is no space.

The Sage Ashtavakra, right in the beginning said, ‘You are beyond the four elements and you are not even the space in which these elements seem to play.’ Beyond time and space, You are. So, if you are getting these visuals of various directions, find out what witnesses that.

And even if it is a bit confusing (because we are used to the reference point being in space and in time) …, even if it seems a bit giddy actually; you stay with this giddiness. You might not know for some time where to locate YourSelf. We have been used to locating ourselves as some sort of unfound object situated within this body; this head or this heart. Now, You are seeing that You are beyond this universe itself. Beyond manifestation is Your truer ground, truest position.

You start to see that You are everywhere. Don´t go to any visuals of this. As I am saying this, I know the mind might also come and create very beautiful visuals. Let’s stay with Your truest insight.

You will find that You are not in any direction. All directions are within You. You will not find YourSelf as an object. You will not find YourSelf as something which has only one perspective. This Awareness.

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Where Did Your Existence Come From?

When you exist (the waking state comes, you exist) you will see within Your own existence all this play of phenomenality is playing out. Now, so far, we have been trained to go toward certain aspect of this phenomenality and avoid other aspects. Usually we go towards those aspects which give you pleasure and avoid those aspects which give you pain.

Now, what I am saying is ‘Where did your existence come from?’ What is on this side of existence? [Turns the hand from palm to backside] Can Consciousness itself come to the recognition of its own Source?

Then you will find that, in the nature of phenomenality, there is one aspect which is designed to make you play with just this phenomenal creation. So, it will try its best (through thoughts, through attachment, through desire, through something to do) to make You-as-Consciousness focus again and again on just Your phenomenal creation.

So, every Satsang I ask you ‘What is aware of this existence?’ because That must be that which is on this side; which is beyond existence, beyond ‘I Am’.

Many don´t want this. Many don´t want this yet, and that is fine. But for those who are done with playing as if they are objects, done with this play of limitation, done with the play of considering themselves to be an object which was born and is going to die ultimately, then this kind of pointing will be music to your ears.

Where did your existence come from?

What is aware of your existence?

[Silence]

And those who were here in Bangalore, sometimes I tell them ‘Okay, you go on a fast.’ The fast is what? ‘Don´t report anything from your phenomenal side.’ Tell me something about That which is prior to phenomena.

So, that means what? Don´t report anything about your life events, the state of your body, what emotions you are experiencing, what thoughts still seem powerful; none of this. Not even about the fragrance of love, peace and joy which comes as a perfume of your own existence; not even that. Is there something beyond this? And the clue is: What witnesses all of this? All of this that is moving…, is the witness of that also phenomenal? What can you say about that One?

The mind won´t like this pointing [Chuckles] because all the mind can fathom is all these things that we spoke about (life events, state of the body, emotions or feelings, what the mind is saying

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and how it is so strong and what blissful experiences you might be having, even in coming to your true Presence) suppose we are not interested in any of that.

Is there nothing left to You after this?

Is that the entirety of YourSelf?

Is it possible that you might be open to my words, that the greater of You is still not included in any of this?

[Silence]

If you are open to this possibility, then this discovery is right around the corner (if not already there).

[Silence]

How many are willing to go beyond this play of phenomena and are open to the possibility of their non-phenomenal Truth?

[Silence]

And you will find that all the ‘buts’…, (‘I am awareness but…’) the ‘buts’ will all start to dissolve, will start to fade away, because you are no longer considering YourSelf just phenomenal; just an object, just an appearance.

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Inquiry Meditation

What is that ‘I’ that knows that you exist?

Don’t answer the question from the mind…

Stay with your inner insight…

And keep quiet.

‘Keep quiet’ doesn’t mean you can’t talk. You can speak, but keep quiet…

Notice if you are just imagining things.

All imagination also comes and goes.

So, don’t fall for any imagination.

Find out who witnesses even this.

What is aware of your existence?

Whatever might be moving, whatever might be changing, find out what witness that.

Is that also changing?

What is your position?

Are you just in the moving?

Are you just phenomenal?

Are you just an appearance?

What are you here?

Are you the meditator?

Whether your eyes are closed or open, does it make a difference to what You are?

If there are a million phenomenal things, or there are no phenomenal things, does it make a difference to That which is aware of even your existence?

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Does the mind bother you here?

The mind only deals with phenomenal qualities; what can it truly say about no-thing?

Can it visualize the no-thing which is empty of all color; black or white?

You cannot imagine YourSelf,

you cannot think about these things.

You cannot forget YourSelf.

[Silence]

The mind might be rushing to conclusions, just let them come and go.

That is what I mean by ‘keep quiet’.

Don’t buy any story of YourSelf.

Nobody is getting anything, nobody is missing anything. There is nobody.

[Silence]

Beyond phenomenal perception is Your greater reality; that No-thing;

not greater in phenomenal terms

but greater because it the only unchanging.

Even your existence ultimately is coming and going:

Your Self remains.

[Silence]

Now the very subtle point here is that You are discovering that ego is nothing, and the Self is no-thing.

[Silence]

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Does Awareness Have to Deepen or Mature?

Q: Does Awareness have to deepen or mature?

A:This is a very good point, and adds toward what the Sage [Ashtavakra] was also saying earlier. What is the maturity that is happening? We must see that. It is very good. So, we see that Awareness is quality-less, so the sense of progress or maturity cannot apply, because that is also a quality. So, for the Self, for the truest absolute Self, nothing is changing. The Awareness that you recognize has always been That. It is not changing in quality because it has no quality and yet, it is empty of quality. This is the only discovery you will make which is.

Now what is it that is maturing? What is it that is dropping. (What is ‘maturing’? Maturing means that we are dropping all that we falsely believe about ourself). So, Consciousness has attached attributes to Itself: ‘I am this, I am that, this is the way I have to live, this is my plan, this is my future’ …, all our projections, past and future, all our qualities that we’ve given to ourself. That is what Guruji [Sri Mooji] will say is the associated Consciousness or associated Being. So, we are coming to unassociated Being.

So, Gopala that came, and Gopala that is here now, is (and don’t quote me on this) much more mature now. What changed? For Awareness, nothing changed. Consciousness, playing in this expression of Gopala (although he continues to be my teenage son [Laughter]) is maturing. Why? Because most of what was believed by that aspect of Consciousness earlier is not believed now. Only some sticky ones are there. They seem to come back over and over, but these don’t have that much power.

So, in a sense, what happened to the Self? Nothing. But for that aspect of Consciousness playing as Gopala, there was a lot more in your basket of beliefs. For all of you, I can say that. This is a process of maturing which is part of this outward play of Consciousness. Are you getting it? What has come into recognition of Awareness? It is Consciousness Itself; Awareness’ own dynamic aspect, own dynamic play. All qualities come from the quality-less One. So, all these qualities put together in a bunch is called Consciousness. The sense ‘I Am’ the primal quality, the primal vibration, the primordial Being comes from the same Self. Therefore, is what? The same Self alone. But then it plays as if separation happened, that ‘I am something; there is another’ …, all these things can happen. So, the dropping of all these false ideas is spiritual maturity.

So, what happened to the Absolute? Nothing. That’s why at some level, if you’ve millions of lifetimes with full conditioning: nothing really happened (at some level). Now, at another level, from the point of view of Consciousness, to come from ‘associated Consciousness’ to pure Consciousness (is a way to say it) or to ‘unassociated Consciousness’ (is a better way to say it) is a beautiful part of the play. That is the play that we are playing.

In this, is anything changing for Awareness? No Satsang, or one Satsang, or thousands of Satsangs…, nothing is changing for Awareness because it is absolute, quality-less, solitary witness Itself.

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The World Disappears Every Night in Deep Sleep

Due to a difference in tradition, the concept of ‘The Void’ [which is a Zen concept, or a Buddhist concept] is different than it is in Vedanta (where you will know very well that this is not considered or called ‘The Void’). Why? Because ‘The Void’ can also create this reference of ‘nothing’. This ‘nothing’ is no dark void in that way. All there IS is a pure witnessing; the Self itself.

So, this Absolute Witnessing is void of all qualities, including ‘void-ness’ …, whereas when you hear ‘void’ what can happen is you can have a sense of there being this bland limbo space of nothing. Something like that.

But You are witness even to that! You see?

So, like some Buddhists might say: The non-self witnesses even this void.

Then Shankara said: This which you call ‘the non-self’ is what we call ‘the Self’.

So, don’t get confused by the terminology. You don’t have to go looking for some ‘dark void’.

Q: There is fear that maybe the world disappears.

A: The world disappears every night in your sleep, you don’t have to worry about this.

The ‘I’ that disappears, can that be the Truth? What is the definition of Reality? That which is unchanging. So, if it was also disappearing and appearing, what value would it have? We are not looking for that; we are looking for that Unchanging Reality, the Self, which can never appear or disappear.

Did you appear? To disappear, you have to first appear. Did you appear?

Q: In that sense, no.

A: In what sense did you appear?

Q: As waking Consciousness…

A:As Consciousness you appeared, and as Consciousness you will disappear every night.

Q:Yes.

A:So, what has to happen? Something has to change for Consciousness. The only change that has to happen for Consciousness is that Consciousness (considering Itself to be something

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limited, Consciousness considering Itself to be ‘something’) comes to this disappearance of the individual ‘I’…, the idea of something which is limited to name and form; and comes into pure I Am-ness Itself; unassociated, is all. The seeming switch that needs to happen is only this.

How does it happen? Consciousness recognizing its own Source, which is this Awareness, empty of quality. And Consciousness now finding it more and more difficult to give belief to limited ideas about itself. So then, the idea that you have about yourself (that was related to name and form) …, that disappears.

Q: [Inaudible]

A:Yes, and that is why ultimately the Sages say that the coming and going of all these states (of waking, dream, sleep, turiya; all the states) for the Self doesn’t really matter. That remains the

Unchanging Self. You Are That. Even the appearance and disappearance of Being ultimately for your Reality does not matter; but only from that perspective can we say that. If we still consider ourself to be an object within this world, then this Being, this Consciousness, is the Supreme Lord.

Q:I am not an object. The ‘object’ is in space; that is my reality. But I am now giving attention to this karmic life and saying these things are happening for ‘me’.

A:So, your attention is going [here and there]. Give attention to everything. What happened? It is still not the birth of the ego. Even by giving attention to this dynamism, dynamic life, is there an ego? It is only when you consider yourself to be an object within this dynamic life and not the Source of this, when you consider yourself to be subject to this dynamic life, not the witnessing of it; that is the false ‘I’.

Q: So, to be, be, be… I am trying to Be, to stay here and not move with a movement. [Inaudible]

A:All has already happened for you. What is your next move? [Silence]

A:You see, it is just that. It is you who have to be honest in some way. It was you who heard it from Ashtavakra, but your next move was to pick it up again. It is you who heard from every Sage who has come since then. It is ‘the same guy’ who heard from all of us. But if we are unable to drop the idea of ‘next’…, of ‘finding something more’ then you see that there is nowhere to go, nothing more to discover, nothing that I have to become. Otherwise, we continue to play this game.

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When Inquiry Feels like Effort

Q:Here [in Satsang] it is really effortless, but when I am at home or something and I seem to be stuck with something and then I ask ‘Am I aware now?’ it seems full of effort. It’s crazy!

A:It’s crazy? [Chuckles] Who is the experiencer of all of this?

Q:[Inaudible]

A:You have to look. What can happen many times is that we come to the dropping of doership, but we still hold onto the experiencer-ship. Is there a person sitting there experiencing any of this? The peace that you experience, is it a personal experience?

Q: [Inaudible]

A:So, who is tasting all of this, experiencing all of this?

Q:Just pure Seeing.

A:Pure Seeing. But the dynamics which has to come on, you have to ‘be’ before any experience can be. Pure Seeing doesn’t go away, even in deep sleep state; for once you ‘be’, once your waking state is there, only all this drama, no? Whether Satsang or no Satsang. All this can happen only in the waking state. So, we have to ‘be’ to be all these experiences.

So, if all of this happens in the Light of Being, then whose problem is it? Is it anybody’s personal problem?

Q:No, it is just happening…

A:All is just happening. And how do you know it is wrong? Even this, for example, if we know that Satsang and outside should be just the same, but life is showing us differently, then life wants to experience that taste of the contrast of the bliss and joy in Satsang and the seeming constriction outside of Satsang. Who is to stop life from doing what it is doing? Life experiencing life, is playing the way it is wanting to play.

Who wants to control that experience?

This is the voice of the separation, this is the voice of the limitation. Once I told all of you everything that arises is your child. So, can you not accept that which is arising naturally in a different environment as another creation, as another aspect of your own play? Because the one who is sitting and checking that ‘It should be like this, it should not be like this’ …, this one is the trickster.

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Q: [Inaudible]

A:Yes, it says everything has to be always ‘hunky-dory’. It is the same thing that Adya [Adyashanti] said: ‘Only chocolate flavored moments’.

Q: For Awareness, it is not a problem.

A:For Awareness, it is not a problem; for Consciousness it is not a problem. The one it is a problem for does not exist. What to do? Awareness, no problem. For Being, is it a problem?

Consciousness is doing all of this. Anything can really become a problem for that?

Q: No.

A:Being is just being, no problem. The one for whom anything is a problem, where is that one?

The one that sits and says ‘Yes, experiencing at Satsang A+. Experiencing at home C-.’ Who is making this report card? Who? It is just the voice of separation, the voice of our limitation; this mind.

Q: But…

A: ‘But…’? [Laughter] This is just a habit.

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Letting It Go and Giving It Up (Guru Power)

A:Like I said, there is only one medicine which is available here. Find out who You Are. And all concerns about life, what is going to happen (including about freedom, all states) leave that up to Guru Power. [Smiles] Guru Power is the best power. [Silence] No waiting, no expecting, no judging, no interpreting, no resentment, no pride, no guilt; no suffering basically. [Chuckling]

Guru Power can run your life? Or no? [Laughter in the room] Ultimately it all boil downs to this. All the ‘but…’ depends on this question now.

Q: Throw the small guy out. [Laughing]

A:Guru Power can do that? Or no? Throw the small guy out? [Laughing] Does the Guru Power need your controlling, driving, saying ‘Do it now; do it tomorrow; don’t do it yet; do it the day after?’ Surrender means it is up to Guruji; when he does, what he does.

Q1: Do it now.

A:Many times, the disciple can have the garb of the disciple but is wanting to master the Master. If it is disciple who is driving the Master ‘Do it today; do it tomorrow; do it when I’m ready’ then who is the Master actually in this situation? [Looking at the sangha] Then the Master is the servant. [Bowing down with folded hands] ‘Yes, sir, when do you want me to do it? Now?’

[Laughing]

I know what you mean, but I’m joking just to make this point that even that is an expectation. [Silence] Whatever state Ram wants to keep me in, that is Ram’s problem.

Q2: Why does He manifest theses states? [Laughter]

A:That is His problem, why He wants what He wants. Who will get into the mind of Ram and tell us? [Laughter]. That kind of argument is okay actually, sometimes, isn’t it? ‘Ramji, what? What is with you! Why can’t you just fix this life?’ It’s okay from time to time; tantrums are alright. Then the Guru has to do what he has to do, whether everything is done or not done; all this is whose problem? His problem.

[Silence]

This ‘but’ and ‘Guru Power’ cannot both survive. Either in the Guru Power you will see that the ‘but’ does not survive or we keep giving value to the ‘but’ and then you will find more and more it is ego, spiritual ego, and the Guru Power seems to wane. That is the play of this world.

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Ultimately, the ultimate victor is always Guru Power. [Chuckling] Currently, in our current play, that is how it seems to play out. [Silence] That is Satguru’s way. Grace is never fighting for the throne. You have to overthrow the incumbent mind and say ‘This is my space’. The mind is always fighting for the throne. When you’re done with it, flick it away. Automatically what do you find? [Silence] Guruji.

So, capsules have these two sides, no? At least in India, capsules are like that; two different colors.

One side of my medicine is: Find out who You Are.

The second side is: Your life is the Satguru’s problem.

This can be the final Satsang. [Laughter]

Actually, both are not independent; it’s one capsule. The recognition is the discovery of Your own intuitive Presence, and the more you remain with your intuitive Presence, you will see that the recognition is so clear.

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How to Meet This Unseen One?

Some words caught my attention in the middle of the *Aarti: [Referring to the devotional music and chant played at start of Satsang. An Aarti is traditionally a part of puja; prayer or devotion to the Satguru]

“Tum Ho Ek Aghochar”

You are the One unseen, ever-Present.

“Sab Ke Praan Pati”

That from which all of this Life emerges.

(Life force, life energy emerges from You.)

So, “You are the One unseen, ever-Present.

The Life-force of all Beings, Oh Lord.”

Then, from what I remember (these words seem to be different from that and my understanding of this dialect of Hindi is not so good, but my feeling is that it means):

“Kis Vidhi Miloon”

If You are the unseen and yet ever-present One,

How must I meet you?

I can only surrender to You.’

How to meet the unseen One? That is the beauty of this recognition, isn’t it? How to meet the unseen One? That is what it means when we say ‘non-phenomenal recognition’.

And in the recognition, You will see that there is the Self; this Self which is beyond seeing and not-seeing, beyond any light and darkness, beyond something and nothing. This no-thing is Your truest nature, is where all phenomena sprouts from. So, with great devotion, the one who has composed this Aarti has asked: You Are the unseen One. And yet, You are the Source of all things. What beauty is this? How do I meet you, Oh Lord? How to meet this Self?

Everything that we meet in this world can, at best, point to this. That’s why the meeting with the Master is the most beautiful, because there is no greater pointer to this, there is no greater example of this. And yet, the Master is always saying ‘Go to the formless Reality of YourSelf’. You cannot meet the formless Reality in the world of forms. You will not be able to compute your formless Reality with the mind also. You will not be able to crack the formula ‘Who am I?’ as if it is an intellectual puzzle. The clues that are provided are not to solve it like an intellectual riddle but to aid your own insight: Who am I? You will not see it in the seemingly-outside world, you will not be able to use this mental contraption to find it, you will not be able to imagine

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Awareness, you will not experience it as an emotion or any physical sensation. How to find it then? All these tools are gone; left aside.

[Silence]

This goes right to the root of it, isn’t it? “If You are the unseen One…, how do I meet you, oh Lord?”

[Silence]

That is why Self-recognition is beyond all experience, and yet, at one point we can say it is the most unique experience because it is undeniably True; and yet, it has no quality, there is no phenomena on which you are reporting.

[Silence]

This is the exploration, you see. And we don’t need to pick up a sense of aversion to anything phenomenal. All that we are saying is that yes, this phenomena, all these phenomenal things, have got so much attention from us. Can we spare some time to divest some attention from this phenomenal play and check if there is anything else there?

So, when we say ‘neti, neti, neti, neti’ (‘not-this, not-this, not-this, not-this’) it is not that we are trying to push it away or there is an aversion to phenomena, it is only that one aspect has gotten so much attention from us. How about we check beyond and see if there is something beyond my phenomenal existence? Where will I find this One; non-phenomenal existence?

Don’t get confused with the terminology. I know that usually when we talk about existence, we’re talking about the sense of ‘I Am’. Here now, I’m talking about the ‘I-the-Absolute’ which is beyond the sense of existence; and yet (even though it is beyond the sense of Existence, the sense of Presence, the sense of Being) it is undeniably true; the undeniable Truth of who You Are; the unchanging witness.

So, you see what we’re doing, isn’t it? We’re saying ‘How do I meet you, oh Lord, the unseen One?’ Then the Lord’s response comes: Find this unchanging witness.

What is it that is not perceived phenomenally, that is not changing, therefore it is Reality, therefore it is Truth and that which is witnessing the witnessing principle itself? This is one way to put it.

You cannot find it through any mental means. You cannot find it through any phenomenal process. Therefore, action, all that we could ‘do’ for it, plays no role here…, because in the doing, we are in the play of phenomena. Thus, the term “Vidhi” (“Kis Vidhi Miloon”): ‘which

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way…, what means do I use to find You?’ Then you find that there are no phenomenal means. All action is set aside. Not a step you have to take.

If not a step I have to take, then it must be here already.

If not a step I have to take, can the meeting be a meeting of two? If it was a meeting of two, then you would have to take a step. If it is not a step I have to take, then it must be meeting MySelf;

That which is ever-present, unseen to sight, unheard to ears, no senses can get here, no imagination can get here, no thought can capture this. Even the sense of my existence, we have gone beyond…, to That which Is.

When the Sages said ‘Be still and know that you are That’ …, it is same as this. How to meet that unseen primary witnessing?

So, for some time, no phenomenal considerations; they had their time and they will get their time also in the future.

Are you aware now?

What is aware even of this Awareness?

You cannot solve this question. Don’t try to solve it. Let the question lead you on its own.

Who is aware of Awareness?

Who are You here?

What is true about You that has never changed?

Can this Awareness also come and go?

What would witness the coming and going of this?

Does this have a beginning or an end or any form of change?

Is there anything to desire?

Anything to push away?

What can come (in the world of appearances) that can touch This One?

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When It Doesn’t Feel Like ‘Everything is a Happening’

Q:Can I ask something about doership?

A:Yes, my dear.

A:I don´t know if it is really a question but I felt to come up and say something to it, because doership is still something which troubles me sometimes. Normally, during the day, I would also not say that the experience here is that ‘Everything is just happening’. I don´t feel that this is the experience here. Sometimes, yeah, but it is not really like that. I would say I don´t think about it. In a practical way, yes, thinking is happening but I don´t think about the things I am doing. There is a subtle doubt in it where the mind creeps in and says ‘See? You are still the doer’. I don´t know if that makes sense but it is just really subtle; because most of the day it´s just going on without thinking of doership or what I’m doing. Yet, I would say it’s not the experience here that everything is just happening. It´s something in the middle of it, you know? I just felt to say that.

A:I like this. So, let´s look at it. It´s a very beautiful report and question. Actually, when you hear or when you see that ‘Everything is just happening’ why doesn´t it seem to change? You say very beautifully that ‘I am not thinking about it and yet it seems very natural’. It´s not like

‘Oh now, everything is just happening’. Why? Because everything has always just been happening. So, we don´t experience a shift in our perception in some way. You see? And yet, when we notice…, for example, if you were to just notice how the next words that you say come out, you will notice that it was just happening. You see? These words are just appearing. And the perception of these words is also just happening (just like your eyes are blinking, your heart is beating). All of this is just happening. Your head could be nodding. All of this is just happening.

Why it doesn´t feel like ‘Oh, nothing really shifted’ is because actually everything has been always just happening in this way. The key is what you said: ‘I usually don´t think about it’.

Now, what happens when we DO think about it? That is when we invent the doer. Because when the thinking comes, what is it saying? ‘You should not have done that’ or ‘What should I do now? I don´t know what to do.’ And yet, what is to happen or not happen will continue to happen or not happen.

Let me use a metaphor so maybe it gets more easily understood. Now, suppose the tree had thoughts. There is a tree in the garden and the tree had thoughts; and the thought was saying ‘You have to move your branches up and down’. The thought was saying ‘You have to move your branches up and down’ and every day it was giving the tree a report on how well it did in moving its branches.

Now, a Sage comes next to the tree and is able to tell the tree (in tree-language) ‘You are not doing it. It is the wind that comes and moves your branches.’ So, then some sense of relief can

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come. ‘I am not moving these branches. It is the wind. This mind has been lying to me. The movement of the branches (the movement of everything) has been a movement of Consciousness.’

But this is still incomplete. Because what the Sage will say next is: ‘See that you are not the tree itself.’

You see the difference in position? So, first ‘I am the tree and I am moving my branches’ …, to then ‘I am the tree but God or the wind (or some higher force) is moving my branches’ …, and then to See: ‘I am not the tree itself’.

Because if you get stuck in ‘I am the tree and a higher force is moving my branches’ then we can always have the sense of victimization. ‘Why does God have to move it this way or that way for me?’ And we can have a desire for something about the future. ‘I hope tomorrow God moves the branches only in this way; in a particular direction.’

So, that´s why it is important for the Sage to remind us that ‘You are not the tree’. Not only are you just not moving the branches but you are also not the tree. So, then you see that ‘Yes, I am that in which this entire play of tree, wind, ground, Sage, everything [is appearing]. I am the third bird; witnessing both the doer and the perceiver. I am That primal witnessing.’ So, then we come to this.

Now, the thought is playing completely the opposite game. The thought is saying ‘Yes, yes, of course, you are moving your branches. See now, when you decide to blink, only then you blink’ …, or something like that it will tell you. So, in that idea that you are moving your branches, it is selling you the story basically that you are the tree. That´s why, when you say ‘I don´t see everything is just a happening but I am not thinking about it’ actually then (without thinking about it) all you see is that all of this is just a happening. It is only thought which makes an individual doer out of you.

The sensations of movement can still be the same. You see? When you pick up something heavy it is a sensation of some heavy object being felt in the body. So, don´t expect all of that to change. When you are typing, you might still find that the body gets fatigue. ‘Happening’ does not mean that the phenomenal principals of this world will no longer happen. So, it can still feel like the body gets strained; fatigue can come in the body. It is not a super-power that we are finding. We are finding the naturalness of this; just all of this is happening with the power of Consciousness (or as my favorite new term now: Everything is happening with Guru Power. [Chuckles] Because God, Guru and Self are the same.) So, you can say that everything is moving with Guru Power. There is no individual doer or mover of any of this. And when you are not thinking about it, that is what your experience is. As the next words flow, as the next action happens, just notice that it is just moving on its own.

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The one that is claiming to be the doer (the mind) does not know how to ‘do’. I have been saying this, isn´t it? This one that claims to be doing all of this, it doesn´t know how to move a finger.

If you ask the mind ‘How do you move a finger?’ It will say ‘I just decided to move it.’

[Then you say]: ‘Oh good. How do you do it? After the thought comes ‘Move the finger’, what do you do next?’

…

It doesn´t know.

How does it activate the nervous system of the body which makes this movement happen? (All these are phenomenal mechanics. I don´t usually get so much into that.) But You realize that it’s just like a small baby claiming that it is making the world go around. Why? ‘Because I say ‘around’ and it moves around.’ [Chuckles]

But it is moving on its own.

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What is Satsang For?

Q:No true position, Father. The mirror I look in, I Am That. In the mirror of Awareness, I’m the

Absolute. In mirror of Consciousness, I Am. In mirror of pretense, I am ego.

A:Yes. So, Satsang is for this mirror of pretense. Awareness is always Awareness, Consciousness is always Consciousness. Nothing happens in Reality to that which is Truth. If something really happened to Truth then whole premise of finding the Truth would be pointless.

So, what is Satsang for?

In life, there are two games which are being played. One is the game of Consciousness picking up more and more identity, more and more pretense. And one is the game of Consciousness dropping the identity and pretense. Satsang is the second game.

It is meant to drop identity and pretense. It is still a game, of course. Nothing in Reality is changing because of another appearance in the waking state. But the rules of this game (if you come into this game, if you want to part of this game) then it will be a dropping of the pretense; knowing completely truly that nothing matters in Reality.

But if you come in this game and keep saying, ‘But can I keep my pretense? Because it is just a pretense after all’ then why are you in this game? If you come into the football field and want to play basketball, then obviously we will say ‘What is the game that you are playing?’ [Chuckles]

The game of Satsang is where we come and we empty ourself from all pretenses. Then you can truly say that the egoic play is just a pretense. I know it sounds ‘round and ‘round. You might have the idea and even some insight into the pretense of the egoic play, but until you drop the pretense of the egoic play, you cannot truly say it is just a pretense. Just like until you climb to the top of the mountain, you cannot truly say there is no mountain. There is no mountain, but you cannot say that until you climb the mountain.

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Who is this Self I Cannot Find?

Q:Guruji, it gets difficult for me to understand who is this Self. Who is the one that I call myself? Who is the One these thoughts come to? I try to introspect but get no answer. It feels frustrating. What can I do in such situation when I am not able to understand who is it that I call Sweta? It’s not my body. Not my thoughts. Then what is it? Even this question is not letting me look beyond it; to understand it. Can you please help me with that?

A:[Smiling] This is a very good place, firstly. It is a very good place. It is this place which is more auspicious than the idea that ‘I know who I am’. The feeling that ‘I know that I am Sweta’, the notion that ‘I know that I am Sweta’ is closed. We are convinced that we are the identity. Then this beautiful point comes where you say ‘I don’t know whose body this is. I don’t know whose thoughts these are. I don’t know whose emotions these are. Where is this Sweta?’

It sounds just like Bulleh Shah (a Sufi Mystic)! [Chuckles] Bulla ki Jana main Kaun (the great Indian Sage said) where he said, ‘How do I know who I Am? I am not this, I am not this, I am not this.’ [Chuckles]. So, this ‘I don’t know’ is very auspicious. It is very, very auspicious. This ‘I don’t know’ is very beautiful.

Don’t let the mind convince you that ‘This is a bad place, it’s frustrating.’ This is the beautiful place. In fact, for the journey of Satsang, 99% of the seeming journey is to come to the idea of ‘I don’t know’. [Chuckles]. It’s me shaking out the notion of who you are from all of you. It takes all the effort out of it when you say ‘I am prebaked’. [Chuckles] ‘I’m a ready-to-eat meal’ is what I hear in this. When you say ‘I don’t know who I am’ then it is music to my ears. And I can tell you that from this beautiful ‘I don’t know’ …, if you don’t let your mind convince you that ‘This is a bad place, it is frustrating, it is wrong, I must know’…, just let it come and go. You remember Bulleh Shah? He is like the happiest. He doesn’t know who he is but he is fine. He is singing, no? [Chuckles]

Then from this openness, from this emptiness of not-knowing, I give you the pointer and I ask you:

Can you stop Being?

Who is it that is here?

Then one day this question will just hit Home and be so clear; because they are not resisted.

What resists the inquiry is only the notion of who we are, which is just ideas. Now, you are saying that ‘I am empty of these ideas. I see that there is nobody called Sweta’.

And yet, You still are here.

Are You here? Or no?

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Sweta is not here, but You are here. So, which is that one which is here? This is a beautiful inquiry! Enjoy this part of the play. It is the sweetest part.

I know mind will come as a villain over here; it will come and say ‘But you have to know the Self. Find the Self.’ No. This is very sweet. Empty of identity. Enjoy this emptiness. Emptying of any mental identity. You say very beautifully, I like it very much: ‘I see there is no Sweta which is the body. No Sweta which is the mind, thoughts, emotions. Who am I?’

This is beautiful. [Softly] It is very beautiful.

And it is for you, people like you, who have come to this discovery that ‘I can’t find this individual identity’ that we have created all these clues. I am seeing you for the first time today but we have been doing a commentary and contemplation on the Ashtavakra Gita for few weeks, where all these clues have been given.

[Anantaji says he will have someone send her the ‘Clues’ so here is a link to them]: https://anantasatsang.org/transcript/eleven-clues-awakening/

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One Sees There is No One Here Who Wants or Doesn’t Want

Q: So, one has to be free of both want and not-wanting?

A: One Sees that there is no one here that wants and doesn’t want.

Now, I don’t want to say ‘Yes’ unreservedly to what you said because I know the nature of the mind will pick it up. And since getting rid of the wants itself has been so difficult, then now you must be rid of the non-wants also? [Chuckles] I don’t want to give you that project.

As I was saying the other day, I have one pill, one medicine, for all ills. Let’s find out who we are. Who are you? This will get rid of desire and aversion, guilt, resentment, grievances; suffering basically…, because all of those rely on the individual limited identity. As you’re Seeing that all of this is not true because ‘I am not that’ then you don’t have to work on these aspects specifically.

I’ve seen many in traditional paths who could get stuck in wanting to free themselves of their desires; wanting to make the mind pure or something like that. Let the mind be what the mind is. Let everything be as it is. Let the world be as it is, let the body be as it is, let the mind be as it is, let emotions be as it is. You are That which is beyond all of this. You are the unchanging One.

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Awareness is Not a Function of the Waking State

I saw a message on Facebook the other day where they said ‘Awareness is a function of the waking state’. They started with a false presumption and obviously came to a false conclusion. ‘Awareness is a function of the waking state’ therefore, those who say ‘You must just be aware’ they are saying ‘You are completely wrong; because how can you be sleep deprived?’ [Chuckles] I’ve never heard such a thing. So, then, who is aware of sleep?

We can’t really, truly blame them because of how it is understood in worldly terms (awareness) might be like this. ‘Are you aware that there is a hotel close to your house?’ So, that is some sort of a conceptual knowing which has been used as ‘awareness’.

Q: Are you conscious of it?

A:Are you conscious? But what we’re saying is ‘What witnesses even Consciousness?’ What we are really pointing to is That which is beyond all states.

It is not a functioning of the waking state. Because if Awareness was just a functioning of the waking state, how would you be able to even say something like ‘sleep state’? Who was aware of sleep? Is sleep just an idea that you’re making up? Dream states, other states; are they just ideas? No. ‘She has deeply meditative experiences so she has these states.’ You can’t call it the waking state. Who is aware of those states? That witness stays the same. That witness that is witnessing this, that is witnessing the other meditative experiences, is also witnessing sleep. But Itself is empty of qualities. Because in sleep, what is there? What is there? [Silence]

Q: The absence of all phenomenon.

A:The absence of all phenomenon. And yet, there must be something that witnesses the absence of all phenomenon. But it is not a ‘some-thing’. This, to the mind, is far out. ‘Oh, you came to Satsang to find some peace or happiness or love or something like this, but now, you’re being told that ‘You are no-thing’.

That is why this sort of direct path is something which is rarely attractive. In this world of six or seven billion people, it seems rarely attractive because we are still (most of humanity is still) in that phase of wanting something for themselves that is phenomenal. If I come and tell you that ‘I will give you something. You can’t touch it, you can’t feel it, you can’t taste it, you can’t see it in that way, you can’t hear it…’ [You would say]: ‘For this, you charge money?’ [I say]: ‘But I don’t even charge money. For free, I’m giving you this.’ [You would say]: ‘But what’s the point? I can’t touch it, I can’t taste it, I can’t feel it…’ [Chuckles]

Where this is coming from… [Chuckles] … is that yesterday, I met someone and I was just talking to her.

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She said, “What do you do?”

(That is one scary question, isn’t it, for most of us; what do you do?)

I said, “There is some work but my attention these days is in sharing something called Advaita Vedanta. I share it from my own experience and with a little bit of scriptural help.”

She says, “So, what do you get as a result of this?”

I say, “You don’t ‘get’ in that way.”

She said, “Then do I pay for coming to you?”

I say, “You don’t have to pay anything.”

But still the question remained, “So, what do I get?”

“You don’t get anything. In fact, you will lose the ‘I’ also.”

[Laughing and laughter in the room]

It is not something that you will ‘get’ in this way. You will lose this false idea of ‘I’. You will See something about YourSelf which is beyond phenomena. So, don’t be so quick to discount that which is not phenomenal just because we can’t fathom it, because we cannot make a concept around it and say ‘This is the Self’.

You will See that in the recognition of this Truth, You will find this Self, then You will find such beauty emerging even in Your outward play in this world. Because as Consciousness is coming to this recognition of Itself, there is play; in a way that all of this worldly creation will become just a beautiful play. This fear of death, the fear of something happening to you, will start to become more and more laughable.

Almost every Satsang, I’ve been saying ‘How can the Self be scratched by anything that might appear in this world?’ Once you See that ‘I cannot be dented, no matter what happens; I cannot be scratched or hurt by anything that happens here’ … when this recognition becomes settled, then You will See such beauty unfolding in Your life; such wonder, such joy. There will become a natural fragrance to Your Presence. And yet, You will be unattached even to this.

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Why Is It Called the Direct Path?

Suppose that you came with a belief that you were in a prison; you were in a box, in a jail; you were stuck. Now, there are many different ways which have been prescribed in this world about how to get out of this prison. Some will say, ‘To get out of the prison, you need a lot of muscle, to break the bars. So, every day, what you have to do is pushups. Everyday do these 120 pushups, so you’ll build the spiritual muscles, then you’ll be able to break out of the prison.’ Some will say, ‘The problem is actually that your mind is not pure, that is why you are always thinking about the prison. So, stop thinking about the prison and I’ll give you a replacement, something else to think about.’ That could be a mantra, an image of God; something to keep your mind away from prison walls into this, so that it can change the quality of your mind by giving you something else to focus on. And for most of the seeming-prisoners, these things seem attractive.

Now, there are some paths (which are the direct paths) which tell you ‘But all that you have to do is find out whether you actually are in a prison or not.’ And because the conditioning is so strong, [the reaction is] ‘What? That much I’m clear about. I am a person. That much I’m clear about. I’ll tell you what kind of person I need to become, so then I can escape this prison.’

Here the question is: Are you the prisoner? Is there a prison? Both questions are the same. It might sound different. Are you a prisoner? Or is there a prison? It’s the same question.

It’s for those who can accept this question, for those who have come to this point where the yearning of the Heart is for this discovery:

Who is it that I am?

Am I the prisoner?

Am I the person?

Who wants freedom?’

[Silence]

That’s why Advaita Vedanta is called the direct path. Why do they call it the direct path? Because once you hear, once you have the Knowledge of insight, intuitive insight, that You are not this limited one, then what path do you need? What path do you need?

So, this illumination, this recognition, is this discovery that ‘I’m beyond time and space. I’m beyond all phenomenon. There is no bondage for me’. Once you see this, then when somebody comes and says ‘Oh, I have a nice set of scissors for your rope so that you can cut it’ then you say ‘But I’m not bound.’ That’s why it is called the direct path.

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Now, I’m not putting down any path. I’m not saying that any other path is right or wrong. Many times, to come to this openness to accept this truth, it can seem like you need to do some spiritual pushups. It can feel like ‘I need to get some peace in the mind by chanting something’. All of these are useful along the way, because they can cause this sense of openness. Peace of mind can come to the sense of openness for the inquiry. But if the path is being confused as getting us to something as a limited entity (if I do my hundred spiritual pushups every day, I will become the super-siddha or something) that is just giving more and more energy, giving more and more belief, to the idea of a limited ego trying to become something special.

That is why it is called the direct path; which means that if you are seeing a snake (or you feel there’s a snake but actually there’s a rope) there are no real methods for how to kill the snake. You are just being reminded to see carefully that it’s just a rope; there’s nothing to fear. That way, once you see that it’s a rope, if someone comes and says, ‘I have a solution that this snake will lose its poison’ …, you say ‘But I already see it’s a rope. Why do I need to deal with [what you call] the snake?’

That is the reason why we focus on the recognition of what is truly here. And it is easier actually. Once there’s a little bit of openness, it is easier to deal with the rope as a rope. So, it’s not difficult. Don’t let your mind convince you that ‘Because he said only few are attracted to this, that must be because it’s very difficult’.

It is the easiest!

People want to do more difficult things because our condition is that (we have been told that) ‘When you do difficult things, then you will achieve something’.

Here, it’s super simple.

It’s already what You Are.

Boom.

‘Oh, there’s nothing to do? Nowhere to go?’ [Chuckles] Then it can feel like it’s not valuable because of that.

It’s direct because it’s already what You Are. It’s just a simple looking. Just like this:

Am I in prison?

Is there a prison here?

Who needs freedom?

What is my bondage?

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In Every Moment, the Clean-Up Job Is Happening

We cannot keep one foot on the ground and board an airplane. We cannot come to this Self- recognition in the idea of your limitation, in the idea of your separateness. It must be disposed of, discarded. It must be discarded how?

Nothing to do, even in that; because right now, it is empty. Don’t fill it up again. [Chuckles]

I try to emphasize this almost every Satsang because I’m still in awe of this. I remember for this one [speaking of himself] who was a seeker for a long time, how it played out. So, if he was told that ‘All these conditions that you’re trying to get rid of, all the ego that you’re trying to destroy, it automatically just vanishes in every moment’ …, I’d be very happy to hear that. But somehow, I don’t seem to get that response when I share it in Satsang. [Laughs]

If I’d been told this, that all this heavy lifting, all these projects (getting rid of tendencies, conditioning, ego, kill the ego, dissolve it) was ‘Nothing! It’s just happening. Done! So simple.’

‘But…’ That’s the only thing, isn’t it? ‘But…’

It is just a thought. It’s just another thought!

What to do with this thought? Just let it come and go.

If you have not been able to let it come and go, and you picked it up: so what? Nothing. In this moment, it is all clean again.

Again, the same cycle repeats: ‘But…’ [Chuckles]

That’s just this game; it’s all like this.

So, why is the Self-recognition in every moment important then? If, in every moment, the clean- up job has all happened, why is the Self-recognition important? Because, when the ‘But…’ comes, it is always speaking to you as if You are the limited one.

Then, when You have Seen Yourself to be beyond the concept of limitation, then the thought is not so believable. You don’t hold on to what it’s telling you. You don’t hold on to what the mind is selling. You are able to let it go.

That’s why Self-recognition creates this space in which belief in the mind can be let go of. And as belief in the mind is let go of, it creates more space for the Self-recognition. That is Your True Self. That is Your True Satsang.

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A Tendency is a Belief that ‘I Am Something’

Q:I recognize myself as Awareness right now, but I have some innate negative tendencies due to childhood impressions that come into operation and pull me into their delusions and successfully color my perceptions. Your advice on this please.

A:So, you have defined this entire play of delusion. This is how the Self functions. You say, very rightly, that when you check, you See that you are this primal witness; That which is aware even of your existence. You see that, you said. Then what happens? You say ‘I get caught up in some tendencies; there are some tendencies here.’

So, what is the meaning of this? First, there must be a sense that you exist. There can be no tendency unless there is a sense of existence; I exist, I Am. Because a tendency only means ‘I am something’. Tendency only means that ‘I am something’. ‘Nothing’ cannot have a tendency. Or that which is limitless, boundless, cannot have a tendency. A tendency must mean first that ‘I am something’.

So, you said there was Awareness, there is a sense that ‘I Am; and the tendency is that ‘I am something’. Now; stay with the Now. You said when you check, you See that You Are this Awareness right now. Notice that even this sense of existence is effortless.

Now, how does the tendency come? We won’t even post-mortem them; we won’t look at the past and why they came. You talked about it in the past, saying that maybe because of the parents; it could be various things that happened. So, you said due to childhood impressions. But in the Right Now, if you check and you find that You Are Awareness, then how is it that you become something else? Can it happen without the thought? If a thought doesn’t come, what Are you?

You are not trying to push away thoughts, but imagine for a moment that no thought came; what are you then? You just Are. Empty of a concept of yourself, you continue to exist. If the thought vanishes, do you also vanish? [Silence] You just Are.

Now, after the thought comes, you notice whether it is believed in. What does it mean to believe it? It means to say that it is true. Something gives its assent to the thought, says the truth value is one, says that the thought is true. And not only that, but it also says that it is meaningful. It could be that there are a hundred thousand grains of salt in the container in my kitchen [Chuckles] but can this concept become a condition for you? It doesn’t. Because it might be true but it is not meaningful. So, that which we say it’s true and also has meaning for me, that becomes then a conditioning or a tendency.

So, it is to hold on to this conditioning, to hold on to this tendency, which has taken so much effort. Because first the concept has to come as a thought, then attention of course goes to it, then we have to say that it is true and meaningful, then it becomes a belief. So much work is

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happening. So, although Satsang might feel like I’m asking you to take some effort, it is actually to come to your effortlessness.

In this moment, right now, before I give you a moment to even think, you are free. You are empty of this condition. Now. Now. Now.

And as I’m saying ‘Now, now, now’ many times, the mind might be saying ‘But, but, but…’ [Chuckles] waiting with the objection.

So, mind has a condition to offer you. And I have the pointing now to offer you.

What are You …, Right Now?

I know that You are empty of conditioning. But Consciousness has given Itself the ability to pretend as if lies are true about It. It has given Itself the ability to pretend that any condition can apply to It.

What you are discovering about yourself, in your own report, is that You are without any attributes, without any limitation, without any color, shape or size. Yet, what every condition is telling you about yourself is that you are limited, you are a body, you are some type of a person, you have desires. That is constantly the story from the mind.

But in this moment, You have a discovery that ‘I am this Awareness’. And none of this really applies to this Awareness. That is why the Inquiry is beautiful, you see, because as you keep coming to this recognition of the Truth of what You are, that which is false will look more and more meaningless. And as it starts to look more and more meaningless, you will find it more and more difficult to give belief to these concepts which are selling you your limitation, which are telling you that ‘You are a duration between birth and death …, that is you; this bucket of flesh and meat …, that is you’. This is what the mind is saying. But these are conditions; whatever the condition might be, even our spiritual conditions.

Then, as long as there is a doer-ship, what is it that I can do? Until I come to the authentic discovery, full of integrity, that there is no individual doer here; what is it that I can do? All of spirituality is based on that, isn’t it? Because if all the Masters know that there is no individual doer here, why do they give all these instructions? Why do they say ‘Do the Self-inquiry, meditate, do yoga’? Because conditioning itself seems so magnetic to our beliefs, to Consciousness, that it can seem like ‘I cannot be free from this unless you tell me what to do’. So, let me see if I can tell you all what to do, and you can decide what is the most comfortable.

The first is, just let go, surrender everything, to whomever you have some devotion with. The true point of having that devotion is that everything is that one’s problem. So, if you say ‘Father, we have some devotion for you’ then let everything be done by Father.

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Now, this one is a tricky one, because as you give up what is to be done unto Father, you also must give up what is experienced also to Father. So, if Father has to do everything, then Father is also experiencing everything. Otherwise it is only half-surrender; that you are the doer but I’m still sitting here as an experiencer. If it is to be either half-surrender or none at all, then just start with picking half-surrender. It’s okay.

Some of you who might feel like there is no such devotion, or there is no such Being you can feel, or even a devotion to God or any such power is not there where you can just say ‘Yes, He or She is taking care of everything, nothing is my problem’. If you don’t find anything like that, then what should you do? Then what you should do is: Find out what You really are.

How to find out? Just in Satsang, what we do every day is this inquiry. ‘What is it that I really am? Who am I?’

These two are the main pointings, the main direction in this path. Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi had verified very clearly; surrender and Self-inquiry. For some of you it is surrender or Self-inquiry; for some of you it is surrender and Self-inquiry. That’s okay; whatever permutation and combination, whatever feels most natural to you.

He had brought about such a beautiful movement in a way, such a beautiful change, where the crux of all Vedanta, the crux of true spirituality, were made so simple in a simple direction.

Surrender means ‘You, Guru or God, You are the one doer and the one experiencer; everything is Yours. Let Thy will be done’.

Inquiry means ‘Who is the witness of this thought? Who is the witness of this world? Who am I Right Now?’ Most of the words spoken in Satsang are invitation and provocation for inquiry.

Now, the beauty about this is that, as you let go, as you surrender, what you truly are will also become clear. There’s so much space for the simple Self-recognition. You may not constantly run after ‘What’s in it for me?’ You’re not constantly run about in the belief of this concept, ‘What’s in it for me?’ You will find there’s so much spaciousness to recognize your Truth.

As you are doing the inquiry, as you are coming to the recognition of the Truth, you find that the beautiful surrender to your own Presence, which is the same as the Guru’s Presence or God’s Presence, is also happening on its own. That’s why although it might seem like two different ways, actually (as Bhagavan said) they are two different wings of the same bird. You start flapping about with either of them, you will see that both are there.

Now, some of you might say that ‘This surrender I don’t understand, and this inquiry I definitely don’t get. [Chuckles] What is the point of just sitting and asking who am I?’ Some of you might say that. Then for those, it might actually be helpful to make it a simple practice. That is, anyone who feels like that, they can always come to me and say that ‘I feel like my mind is so noisy, I

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feel like the belief is so rampant, and I don’t feel like I’m devoted to anything. I can’t really surrender it, and the inquiry is just not bringing any insight to me about what I am, so there’s no peace that’s coming in my life because of this pointing’. To you, I might prescribe something. You might call it meditation, you might call it chanting; whatever you might call it.

If you feel that even this becoming more meditative in our lives, more contemplative in our lives, is not something that appeals to you, or even the concept of chanting something doesn’t appeal to you, even the concept of just staying with What Is, staying with your breath, for example, sounds like it’s alien, and has no appeal to you then I might say ‘But still, you must come with this integrity and say that this is what it is’. Then I might tell you something else. I might ask you to do some spiritual exercises. I might ask you to sing some devotional songs. I might ask you to do some seva, do some service, which doesn’t have a ‘me’ at the center of it; to do something, anything, which has no ‘me’ at the center of it.

So, all of this is the response to ‘What should I do?’ and most of spirituality is about this. Of course, there will come a time where, with the integrity, you will see that there is no doer here, there is no limited entity here. Therefore, there’s nothing to do. All is being done.

As we surrender our doer-ship, experiencer-ship, we find that the experience of this world continues, and that which needs to be done also continues in its own beautiful way, with no expectation of what the outcome should be.

But what is all of this about? It is all about coming to this moment, empty of a resistance to What Is, empty of a notion of what it should be…, just coming to the simplicity of existence, the simplicity of Being. And because our conditions have been so complicated, it can seem like all these various options are there, for us to be empty of these conditions.

It’s funny because already all this clean-up has happened on its own. In this moment, we are empty of everything. But it can feel like ‘If I pick up the lightest of concepts, the entire tree of conditioning seems to be back’.

In this moment, all that is needed (if anything at all) is a simple openness, a simple allowing. Allow your thought to come and go. Even if your belief goes to some of them sometimes, allow yourself to See that that was just how it was meant to be. In this moment, you are empty of all of that.

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Picking Up Concepts in Satsang is Not Satsang

Satsang is this: whatever might be the environment you’re in, whatever might be the place you’re in, if it is about this coming to the recognition of the Self and letting go of the false…, it could be that you’re in the middle of a fish market, but it is still Satsang.

In the physical environment of Satsang, many times it could be that we are picking up more and more concepts about ourself. So, then it is no longer Satsang. In the physical environment of Satsang, of course, there is so much energetic Presence which is available, so much Satguru’s grace which is available allowing the mind to just come and go. But it can be that those who are playing the game of building their spiritual ego can find the Satsang environment very nourishing for the ego also. Then Satsang words are looked at as if they are concepts to know, concepts to learn or something like that; not being used as the tools to remove all that we know.

Bhagavan [Sri Ramana Maharshi] said self-inquiry or the question ‘Who am I?’ is the thorn we are using to remove the other thorns. But suppose we’re using it and embedding that as a thorn itself? Then we pick up the next thorn ‘Are you aware now?’ and put that as a thorn. ‘Can you stop being?’ and put that as a thorn. You see, if all these become badges for our spiritual ego, which is a collection of all the most beautiful spiritual concepts, but empty of true insight [Touches his heart] then all these are just badges of honor of the ego playing in a spiritual way. But any one of these pointers, when used to check the Reality of what You Are, you will find that everything is empty of all positions, all conditions, all doing, all desire; empty of duality.

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Is Awakening Sudden and Total?

Q:Can you speak of this persistent idea that awakening is a sudden experience and everything up until then is in preparation for it? …, meaning actually, nothing can be done for that. There is this feeling that everyone who we truly call awakened had this conversion. Then they are doing their best to show us how simple that is, already Here Now. But for them it was sudden and total.

A:So, let’s really look at what it really means, this awakening. Now, there are two things. One is that which we call ‘the awakening’ or that which we call ‘the awakening experience’. Now, it is true that most of our teachers have told us that the awakening experience, as it happened, was a sudden shift in perspective. They say that ‘There was not a separate me that I could find’. It is like that. It is true that many have (in fact, most have) these kinds of reports. And it is rare to have those who talk about this sober awakening where it was empty of a radical shift that happened in a moment. And yet, it is also true that all those who have had these radical shifts are now saying that it is not about that experience itself, per say. It is just that in that moment, nothing happened except that ‘I Saw what I always was’ …, and you can also See that, Right Here, Right Now.

It’s one of the conundrums of this play of Consciousness; it’s a conundrum in this appearance of this world. It’s like the Buddha himself did a lot of austerities and practices and then he said ‘None of that is needed. Just the middle path; moderation’. So, this is the way the world seems to play.

Actually, in our sangha, we can say that there are many who are coming to this recognition in a very sober way; not necessarily with a lot of fireworks, a lot of radical shifting. Just every day, more and more clarity happening. So, it is like that.

At one level, it seems like a conundrum that more have had this kind of radical shifting and then they say ‘It is not about just that experience. It is about the recognition of who we Are…, and not picking up the false conditioning.’

So, if you were to look at it just in a simple way, what happens in that moment? What happens in that moment is that it is Seen that there is no individual ‘me’ here…, and it is Seen that I am not a phenomenal object. You cannot find a location for YourSelf, you cannot find a reference point for YourSelf. But that is true even Now. And yet, this (when it seems sudden) it can seem like you’re just caught up, seemingly so attached to this container of the body, that ‘I’m an object within this body’ and then …, [opens his arms wide] [the realization]: ‘I’m not an object within this body at all. In fact, it doesn’t even feel like the body is an object. Nothing is an object. It just feels like everything is just light, and nothing’. So, that moment can come.

But the main point is that Now, as you’re finding this about YourSelf, it is completely possible to drop that which is false.

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If you were to check Now (this is what we do every day) if you check Now, we find that ‘I’m not an object, I’m not a limited thing’. Most of us do find this. Only some have this very radical sort of awakening or awakening experience, as you might call it.

[Reads question again]: ‘This persistent idea that awakening is a sudden experience.’ Now, there are many also who can have this awakening experience and are not yet awake (for the same reason, using the same terminology) are not yet liberated from the limited conditions they have put upon themselves. In fact, there are some that have had strong awakening experiences and yet have gone into deeply spiritual egoistic conditions about themselves. So, the awakening experience, although very often it is the end of the false conditioning about ourself, many times it can also lead to a lot of new spiritual conditioning about ourself.

[Reads question again]: ‘Everything up until then is a preparation for it.’ It can seem like that. When we look at the lives of these Sages, many times it can seem like that, that everything up until that point was preparation for it. Then that big shift happened. In fact, [Chuckles] that is why I rarely share the story from here. It’s just that sometimes when my children ask me the question with great sincerity, I cannot get myself to say ‘No, no, I won’t share’. But many times, these things have become benchmarks for us.

She also said, ‘But for them, it was sudden and total.’ So, I would completely agree with the sudden part, but the total part is really not true. Even if you look at the lives of the greatest Sages, you will find that many of them went into a period of silence where everything that was still remaining was washed away, wiped clean. Not everything; 99.9997%. [Chuckles] Because ‘everything’ [100%] also becomes a condition. So, sudden; yes. But total; no. Mostly, in fact, it has been noticed that even those who have had a sudden awakening experience, they have gone into prolonged periods of silence where the clean-up job continued in that period of silence.

She says, ‘Actually, strangely enough, it seems that many of them gave up the search, then it happened.’

Maybe that’s why Papaji used to say ‘You? No, it’s not for you in this life.’ [Chuckles] So, when you hear it like that, then this whole feverishness about freedom, wanting that ultimate bowl of milk, drops away. And in that ease, sometimes, yes; like that. The simple Seeing. Being empty of this feverishness, conditional feverishness, can create more room for the simple Seeing to take place. There is no template for this. That is why you just have to trust what is coming up intuitively. Even then, we don’t know how life will play out in that particular case. That is the nature of Consciousness. That is why the Sage’s attempt is to meet you where you are, and then to see what arises from there. How the play turns out, even in spite of that, nobody can ever really predict.

This is very good. She says ‘You asked: ‘What is the most persistent idea you hold?’ It is this one. I just want to surrender this.’

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Another Way to Look at Lingering Sense of Identity

Q: All that you say is so clear, yet this sticking identity with person still remains.

A:Actually, it is the non-stick; non-stick frying pan [Chuckling in the room] because it cannot stick. Did it survive the previous moment? It actually didn’t…, unless you think about it. No identity can survive even for a moment actually; automatically.

Now you are empty of it, until you believe the idea that you are not, or you believe some idea of ‘but’. You with me? So, notice right now, we will have to first latch onto some concept to feel that you are still identified. Right Now, you are empty of it.

Actually, that’s why I say you have the best cleaning lady at your service. Who is that cleaning lady at your service? It is God. Clean up has happened completely. In this moment, you are brand new, fresh like an infant! And yet, what it can seem like is like you take a bite from this apple and this entire world of identity seems to appear. You pull at a leaf from this tree of conditioning, we pull at one thought, and it can seem like ‘Oh, the person is back’. But without picking up this thought from ‘the conveyor belt of the mind’ show me the identity.

So, that is a very good way look at it. Now there is another way to look at sticky identity; which means that which has been nourished a lot with belief in the past. Those are sticky. If we’ve nourished a particular identity (be it a spiritual seeker identity, be it a parent identity, be it a partner identity) when thoughts come like that, they seem more attractive to our belief.

Why does that happen? This is the meaning of interest. Why it happens is because that one has been nourished in the past. The habit has been to smoke that particular brand of cigarette, so when it comes then it seems attractive. That is what I mean by sticky identities.

So, when we look at these identities, if there is a recurring thought that we seem to buy over and over again (like you might have this thought that ‘I’m just not getting it; I’m somehow not getting it’) then you pull that thought into your inquiry and say ‘Can I find the one who is not getting it?’

If the thought is ‘I’m still stuck’ the ‘I’ is again the limited notion about yourself. So, pull that into your inquiry. ‘I’m still stuck. Who is still stuck?’

When you take this into your inquiry, then persist with it until the idea that ‘I’m still stuck’ becomes laughable! How do we know when something is not sticky anymore? [Chuckles] When it becomes laughable. So, when the mind comes and says ‘Oh, no, no, I’m still stuck’ or ‘You are still stuck’ does it have juice?

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Q: When I say ‘Who is being sticky? Who is making the inquiry?’ it seems like a loop.

A:Ah, yes, So, what are my options for this answer? Suppose I’m a bad student and this question has come; Vidya has asked ‘Who is the one that is making this inquiry?’ Can you also provide the choices that I can pick from?

[Silence] Okay, so let me help with even providing the choices. The first option: The person is doing it. Is that plausible now? ‘The person is doing the inquiry’. Is it a plausible option?

Q: No.

A:No. Why? Because if the person doesn’t exist then how can it do something? If the blue cat is not there, how can it have drunk my bowl of milk? So, person is not an option. After person, what is there? This Consciousness is there; I exist. So, is the play of the inquiry not a part another part of the play of appearances, which appeared in the Light of Consciousness?

Isn’t it? Even ultimately the inquiry or any practice is also a part of the play of appearances. So, if we are saying that Consciousness is the Light if this world, and Consciousness is all there is (no person has ever come) then we are comfortable to say ‘It is Consciousness Itself which has deluded Itself to pose as if it is a person…, and it is Consciousness Itself coming out if this personal delusion and coming into this freedom’?

So, God has been playing this game, you see? God has been playing this game of playing as an individual. And you see that there are many manifestations of this game, even in this world. Now, suppose you went for a movie and suppose you could not relate to the protagonist. If you can’t identify with the protagonist, mostly you will not enjoy that movie. You will say ‘Who are these people? What were they doing? I just couldn’t relate to the characters.’ It’s just like that. In this movie, to extract this kind of juice from this world of appearances, Consciousness has given to Itself this power of belief, this power to pretend as if It is something limited.

Then when It’s done with the play like that, it wants to get the joy even of dropping the ‘false person’ notion. That why usually it doesn’t happen in a finger snap. [Chuckling and snapping his fingers] I can say ‘No, you’re not the cat’. And you See ‘Oh, I’m not the cat’. Done, bye! It doesn’t happen like that. That’s why usually all the Masters have said: Continue coming to Satsang until the Master itself tells you that you don’t need it anymore.

Q: So, this Consciousness has insight? Who has insight?

A:Yes, because only Consciousness IS. Only Consciousness exists. Existence itself IS Consciousness. All of this play. That’s why I said that ‘In the Self, [Closed fist] in the ‘I’ comes the appearance of ‘Am’ [Raising one finger] And this ‘Am’ has been projecting all this universe around it (and getting stuck, getting here, getting there). [Twirling his finger around]

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Now, Consciousness Itself is turning inwards and coming to the recognition of Its own Source. Nothing happened to the Source. The hand has always been the hand. This finger [Pointing one finger] has also always only been the hand.

[Refers to a verse in Ashtavakra Gita] Has the finger ever happened? Or has it only been the hand always? In that way, we can look at this.

But bringing it to a simpler level, we see it is Consciousness. Being is what? I Am. This Atma, this Being, this Consciousness has been saying ‘I am something, I am Vidya, I am the body, I am this, I am that, I’m a spiritual seeker’. So that ‘I am something’ is what the Sages have called ‘jeev atma’. No jeev atma has actually been born. It is the pretense of ‘I Am’ Itself. ‘I am something’. And when the something is dropped, there is only ‘I Am’. It is only ‘I Am’ that has been playing as ‘I am something’. And It is ‘I Am that I Am’.

So, how do we get to even before this ‘I Am’ …, beyond the ‘I Am’? Like the Sufi story which said ‘God? I am higher than that; more than that’. That which is beyond God, that which is beyond ‘I Am-ness’ is the I-Itself. It has always been the I-alone.

The appearance of the finger is only the appearance. So, the ‘I am something’ has been trying to make sense of spirituality, has been trying to do the inquiry, but the inquiry rids the ‘something’ from the ‘I am something’. Inquiry done truly, the ‘Who am I?’ question asked truly, gets rid of the idea that ‘I am something’. You see? The ‘something’ drops away and I just Am.

So, everything has always been a play of Consciousness. There never have been two. There has only ever been this hand; this hand playing as this finger, then saying ‘I am something’ which is a projection of the Light of this finger itself.

Consciousness has created for Itself this tool called the mind which convinces It that this ‘I Am’ is personal, is something. What is the meaning of ‘I am something’? It means ‘I am something personal.’ Isn’t it?

Only God has lived here. Only God is having this conversation with God.

Q:If I’m beyond ‘I Am’ then who is having that insight? I mean, Awareness is beyond all that, right?

A:Yes. So, when the finger recognizes that the Source has been the hand itself, then does the finger come to the conclusion that there is still a finger? There is only the hand. Another way of saying the same thing again, that ‘I have always only been the hand. There is no finger, although it had appeared as though there was’.

Q: Thank you.

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Awareness is Aware Even of Attention

Q:In a synchronistic way, Jesh posted a quote of yours yesterday which said: ‘Only that exists on that which there is attention.’ It’s a stunning quote. Not just the thought, but the feeling that came up for me is ‘Okay, what is attention?’ You said: ‘Only that exists on which there is attention.’ And the next point of inquiry is: ‘What is this extraordinary quality of attention?’

I remembered a quote that Rupert Spira mentioned that’s stunning also and I wanted you to also comment on it. He said that: ‘Attention is Awareness when turned towards an object.’ And the next feeling that came up is ‘That’s amazing’ then ‘What is Awareness when it turns upon itself?’ I wanted to just drop that into the field; and whatever you wanted to respond would be amazing. Thank you.

A:First, to clarify the first quote: ‘Only that exists which has your attention.’ So, clearly here we are speaking about our phenomenal experience. Can we say that there is a road outside this room? Not conclusively; only because we might hear some sound from the road. So, because attention is on that, we can say there is something there; the rest is just a presumption. In that way, the first quote is meant: Only that exists, in this phenomenal play, which seems to have our attention.

So then, what is attention? And this quote is also very nice, what Rupert said. From what I understood, he said: ‘Attention is nothing but Awareness turned towards an object.’

Fundamentally, what we are doing is that we are exploring the nature of this attention. Now many times, the clue for you is that: The Self is without qualities and attributes. The real Self, the greater Self, is without qualities and attributes.

Now, in our phenomenal play, there is one (we can say) thing (but it’s not a thing) …, one thing that comes close to this, which is attention. Because when I say ‘What is the color of your attention?’ you cannot say. And yet, it is not the Self. It is an aspect of the Self. Why? Because Awareness is so beyond this limitation of any sort, whereas attention is not.

So, if all of us were to un-mute our mic and to start speaking, you would not have the attention to hear everyone. That’s why parents with many children are very tired [Chuckling] because all the children are asking for their attention, for all their time. Now, if you are interacting, and then you start interacting [pointing to someone] then you start interacting [pointing to someone else] then we cannot give this quantity (of this unlimited type) of attention. You see that attention runs out very quickly. But we can never say that about Awareness.

So, the real distinction between the Self (Awareness) and attention is that attention is like the phenomenal play of Awareness. Everything is. But a very, very intimate phenomenal play of

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Awareness is this attention. Because you cannot find any quality to attention, except that it seems to run out.

You can never run out of Awareness.

But you can run out of attention.

So, yes, ‘When it is turned towards an object’ …, it is a nice way of explaining, it’s not bad. It’s a funny play; whether attention actually turns or whether it is the object on the screen which changes. This is a nice contemplation for us.

What we can really say is that attention doesn’t seem to play (in our unlimited way) in this phenomenal play; and only that we can perceive. We cannot perceive without attention. Perception works in coordination with attention. It’s like Being uses attention to taste this phenomenal world, to taste the phenomenal function. That’s where all these primal contemplations come from, isn’t it? What is that one famous one? ‘If the tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?’ Nobody else is in the forest; when the tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? Also, scientific experiments like Schrodinger’s cat. The cat is in the box, there is no observer of it. Is there now a cat? Or isn’t there? So, all of this is an experiment about this. What is the observing quality in this phenomenal realm? The power of perceiving operates on this power of attention.

So, this is attention. Now, how far can attention go? We can bring attention to the outer-seeming world, we can give attention to the body sensations, we can bring attention to these inner- seeming perceptions like thoughts, memories, imagination; attention can go there. And then we can say ‘Ultimately, keep your attention on your Being. Rest with the sense of Being.’ To even this we can say ‘Yes, I’m keeping my attention on my Presence.’ And some might say it’s natural for it to rest there and some might say it seems like a force. But it is still part of the objective play, ultimately.

Now when you say, ‘What is prior to this Being? What is aware of even this Beingness?’ can we truly that say it is attention? Although in words sometimes you might say it, but can we truly, truly say that it our attention that is going prior to Being? Actually, it is like the cessation of the functioning of attention. It’s like a spring is completely pulled back, a spring was stopping at all these different levels and then we say ‘Okay what is prior to even existence?’

This Self-discovery…, Awareness which is Self-Aware, is not subject to attention. It is just that attention is divested from everything else so it can feel like attention came here. But in the realm of the Pure Self, there is not even attention.

So, Being uses attention to come to this discovery ‘I Am that I Am’. But as Being is coming to the recognition of its own Source, even the play of attention stops there. So, although we can say in satsang to ‘Turn your attention completely inwards to that which is prior to your existence’ actually you will find that it is a pointing to divest your attention from everything else. And

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there, as you are coming to the non-phenomenal recognition, you will not find the play of even this quality called attention. It is part of the functioning of the Self in its dynamic aspect (which is Being) and Being works in coordination with attention to perceive, to taste this phenomenal existence of Itself.

[Silence]

I know that some of these things are very subtle; for the mind they are completely abstract. But as you are tasting all of this for YourSelf, you will see that:

Yes, the discovery is made of the Source of even Beingness, where Being comes from. My attention does not go beyond my Being.

But as it is divested from everything else,

I find that the recognition of this Absolute is empty of all qualities;

Even something which is of such a transparent quality like attention is not there.

[Silence]

Shanti said something beautiful, she’s saying, ‘Here it could seem that perception is the flood light and attention is the spotlight of Awareness, where more focus is put on the object of perception. When it is turned back on itself then all other objects no longer exist. And Self alone exists. (Just coming here as an analogy.)’

Very beautiful. So, we See that when we go beyond Being, then even this play of attention is not there. Like in the deep sleep state, we are not paying attention to the No-thing; only the No-thing Self is there.

[Silence]

In fact, these experiments with attention are very beautiful. And as you start noticing the quality of attention you will see that, as sleep is coming, that with which a lot of attention could have been given to a book or to movie or something like that, when sleep is coming, you find that you don’t have that attention to give to it anymore. It seems like it is just withdrawing from the seeming-outward phenomena and just going to rest within. So, as this objective reality is vanishing, you see that it is attention which is actually withdrawing; that is why it is vanishing.

Like you said ‘When this spotlight is there, it seems to always be shining on something objective. And when the spotlight seems to run out of battery [Chuckling] or seems to run out of power, then the world of objective appearances seems to vanish, it seems to dissolve.

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You are Never the Fear

Q: I feel that some identification with the fear comes.

A:So, what is the way to identify even with the fear? Suppose I was to tell you now that you see YourSelf as this Primal Witnessing which has no size or shape; nothing. Now, your job is the opposite. You are not to try and get rid of the fear, you’re not to try and get rid of the identification with the fear, you connect this Awareness to the fear…, and show me how you will do it. Let the fear come, use it, in fact, and try to identify the Awareness to this fear. Attach the Awareness to the fear. How will you do it?

Q: So, you say, right now, as the Awareness, try and attach to the fear?

A:Yes, instead of trying to avoid the attachment, you do the reverse; try to attach.

Q:But how to do it?

A:Do it, try everything; try whatever you have been doing in the past. You say ‘I get so attached to this fear’. So, everything you have been doing in the past to attach the Self to fear, can you do it?

Q:I feel right now, when you are in the state of being aware and you are calling the mind to bother you, it’s not coming! [Smiling]

A: [Chuckling] Yes.

Q:Mind says ‘Right now, I’m not going to come.’ Right now, I feel that I cannot call the fear to come.

A:Yes. You see, this is what happens. When you hide from the mind, then it comes and chases you. But when you say to the mind ‘Okay, tell me what you can do. How will you get this primal witnessing, this Awareness which has no attribute, no shape, no size, no locations, no durations; nothing.’ Then you say ‘Okay, Mr. mind, you come. Tell me how will you attack me, how will you get me bound, how you will attach to me?’ Then you notice that it’s just not possible. You see?

So, in your hiding, you pretend as if you are a limited identity. In your hiding, you pose as if you are a limited entity. In your openness, in your saying, ‘Okay, come, what will you do? Mr. fear, come. Mr. mind, come. What will you do to the Self?’ Like that, if you stay open, you see that they will do nothing. They are molesting a non-existent ‘you’ which is just an invention which you’ve made, based on yourself as a spiritual seeker.

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Because we have invested so much in the inquiry, we have invested so much in the spiritual seeking process, that we invest in our identity as the seeker who now must be free of fear.

But I am telling you that whatever might come, the biggest fear, the biggest anger, the biggest emotion might come, it cannot touch the reality of You; ever. It is never touched. You will find that this is true.

Every time, You will See that this is true. But when you project from the past or when you project into the future, you might find that ‘Oh, actually, I do end up getting caught up’. You see?

Now this ‘I’ which ends getting caught up is just a figment of your imagination. We have believed ourself to be that non-existent one for so long. I usually these days call it ‘the blue cat’. We’ve imagined ourselves to be ‘the blue cat’ for so long that we are just chasing our bowl of milk or avoiding that which can give this cat some pain. But You are not that.

No matter if you look at this a million times, you will never find one who is actually attacked. That one just never exists. It is just an interpretation of the mind saying ‘Because fear is coming, I am fearful; because something is arising therefore I must be that’.

But You are never that.

You are always this Awareness alone.

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The Dropping of All Notions Happens Only Now

Without a notion, You are just the Self.

Even with a notion, You are just the Self.

The only difference is then it is this Self which is posing as if it is a person.

That is why this spiritual journey is the journey of dropping all notions.

And yet, in the play of life, it can seem like the journey unfolded.

But the dropping of the notion happens only Now.

You cannot hold onto the concept that ‘One day I will drop all concepts’.

And what is the good news? The good news is that even this dropping is not an exercise that you must do. It is not a ‘doing’ in that way. It is the picking up the belief in the notion; it is giving assent to the thought; it is believing the conclusion that the mind is making about You which is the seeming effort.

Could it be that that which we have been chasing for so long actually is the most effortless thing?

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In This Holy Moment Now, Recognize Your Source

After the broadcast ended yesterday, there was an interaction. Somebody was leaving who said something like (not in the same words but something like) ‘Is there any last instruction for me? What should I do?’ And I asked her ‘Do you want me to refer to you as that which you are recognizing? Do you want me to refer to you as that which you’re recognizing YourSelf to be? Or do you want me to refer to you as that dynamic, pulsating aspect?’

So, this is the question for all of you. Ideally in this today’s short meeting [Before going to be with Mooji for two weeks] I’d like to refer to all of you as MySelf. And I know that MySelf doesn’t need any instruction. Even the dynamic aspect of MySelf, which is Consciousness Itself, doesn’t need a pointing.

[Chuckles] I’m coming back in two weeks. So, even this ‘What should I do while you’re away?’ …, even this we don’t need. We’re beyond these crutches now; beyond these crutches of support structure. The other day after Satsang, we were watching Guruji’s [Mooji] video and he was talking about ‘No stick’. It’s one of my favorites, if some of you haven’t seen it. (Just search for ‘No Stick’ Mooji on YouTube.)

Many times, we feel like we go to a Master and we feel like ‘Here is one who will know everything’. But by ‘know everything’ we mean that we feel like he’ll know something about the future, he’ll know something about my life. As we get to know the Master more and more, we see that he doesn’t know anything. [Chuckles] So, it is the opposite relationship. Usually, in the world, we go to people who know a lot and we want to go to listen to them so we can learn something. Here we come to Satsang so we can un-learn everything. When you meet someone who doesn’t know anything and is comfortable with it, then you get comfortable with your own not-knowing.

Nobody knows anything about anything. There is nothing to know in that way.

How are you without any crutch? Are you falling? Or flying? [Chuckles] If you didn’t have anything to hold onto…, if you didn’t have any ‘thing’ to hold on to (let’s put it that way) any concept to hold onto, what would happen? (if you don’t have a single grievance, if you don’t have a single concept of anything to do, if you don’t have a concept of where you have to get to, if you don’t have a concept about what it is to be free, if you don’t have a concept of how life should change once you come to your Freedom?) I’m here to tell you that all fear is unfounded. All fear is unfounded because You cannot be hurt, You cannot be attacked; there is nothing to protect, nothing to defend.

Satsang is just Consciousness reminding Consciousness of Its true nature… in the play of Consciousness Itself.

We were saying yesterday that it can seem, many times, that we discover or have insights about what we are and our insight about what we are is that ‘I have no limit, no boundary, no shape, size, form; no real name’. But there’s an aspect of my Self that seems to flutter about. So, we

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were comparing it to a dog and its tail. So, there’s a dog that is still (suppose it’s still) but its tail is wagging a lot. Should we start referring to the dog as a tail?

So, just because the tail is wagging (sensations, emotions, thoughts…, the energy is moving) what is the greater that you are discovering about YourSelf? The Source of the tail must be greater than the tail. What the tail is attached to must be greater than the tail. What gives the power to the tail to move must be greater than the tail. It’s just because it wags, it seems to get all our attention. And we say ‘This must stop’. Why does it have to stop? The dog is fine.

So, let this dynamic movement happen on its own. Nobody has ever controlled it anyway. These are myths. No individual entity has ever controlled this. Therefore, all is the will of God. If we feel in our heart that it is the Satguru’s will or God’s will, then it must be clear that if it is God’s will, then it cannot be the will of anyone else; because there is actually no one else. All there Is, is Consciousness, is God …, (All There Is in an existent way). [Silence]

Over the years (again it is not meant to be a goodbye Satsang, just these words are coming) over the years we have had many pointers which are very simple, straightforward. Know that you cannot become miserable unless you withdraw from this Any Time Misery (ATM) machine. Know that there is no Freedom for ‘the cat’. [Referring to Ananta’s analogy that ‘What if someone told you that you were a cat, and for your whole life you believed them?’] The identity is not becoming free. It is just Consciousness has been playing with an identity which now it has grown out of. Just like children play with an imaginary friend. It is not the imaginary friend that becomes free; it is that the child becomes tired of playing with this.

Know that in reality there are two aspects of One Self. The bigger aspect, the big ‘A’ (which we cannot truly even say ‘big’ because it is beyond time and space) is Awareness. This ephemeral, the moving, the changing aspect, is the small ‘a’ called appearance.

Know that you are free Right Now; before the concept of now, before even the checking whether I am free or not, before any notion of Freedom. Therefore, all spiritual practices are only meant so that you can come home to this Truth. The Truth of what You have always been, which is unlike everything else we do in this world. Because anything else we do in the world, like if we do practice, like if we go to the gym, if we are working out, it is so that we can build some muscle. There is a phenomenal change which is expected. We go to school so that we can learn a lot of concepts. It adds to our encyclopedia of concepts.

But a true spiritual path is not to make you into something new or to add on something to you. It is only so that You can come to the recognition of what You Are. Actually, the purpose of most practice is to bring You into this moment Now; with a little bit of inward turning of attention, to see whether there is anything besides this phenomenal appearance. In this holy moment Now recognize Your own Source. Where do You come from? Where will You go?

This body is a beautiful instrument, a gift by Consciousness to Itself to experience this world in this intimate, experiential way. So, don’t hide or resist the body. Have an inclusive acceptance of it. But don’t allow the mind to convince You that You are limited by it. In the same way, allow all sensations, emotions, thoughts, everything, to appear and disappear in their own way. Don’t

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be quick to assent to the notion that you are limited by these, that you are suffering from them, that something should change about them for You to become Free.

Observe that one of the tricks of the mind is to play as if it is helping you on the path to Freedom. It is checking every day based on phenomenal experiences, based on the quality of your feelings, based on what type of thoughts are arising; it is giving you a report card about your Freedom. Know that this report card is all about past. In this ever-present Now, You are unreportable, uncheckable.

Remember that if you are to rely on something; rely on your insight rather than your interpretation or inference. What do you find YourSelf to be? (Not what you judge yourself to be or what you infer yourself to be on the basis of some emotion or some thought.) [Silence]

In this play of Master and disciple, Father and child, I know that the destination is a foregone conclusion. I know that all of you will come to that which you are longing for; this Truth. The destination is a foregone conclusion because You never left! You have never left the destination. And yet as a Father…, every Father wishes that their child has a beautiful journey. So, I wish you all the auspiciousness, all the joy, all peace as you walk in this journey towards That which has always been.

[Many minutes of sitting in silence]

May my Father’s [Sri Mooji] grace bless your every step.

May his Presence light up all our lives.

May you find complete rest at his lotus feet.

Surrender all your burdens, all your heavy baggage.

May you leave this Satsang today with nothing on your back; no grievances, no resentment, no pride, no guilt.

Offer all of this today to me, as your gift to me, as your Guru Dakshina.

May you have a joyful life. And may all those that come into your Presence be also touched by the Truth that you are discovering about YourSelf.

Guruji [Sri Mooji] always says, ‘The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree and the Sangha is truly a reflection of the Master.’ I have great gratitude for this beautiful Sangha. I actually feel that this expression of Ananta is just your reflection; the purity of the longing for the Truth of the Self. May this expression always be at the service of those that have this longing in the Heart.

Give your Father [Ananta] this blessing today, that he may continue to serve at the lotus feet of his Master and to bring those who are ready for this Truth. May he always be in service to all of you.

Thank you all so much for everything, always.

To say I love you is not enough of an expression for what I feel for all of you. Sat Guru Sri Mooji ji ki Jai.

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The Master is in Service to Your Longing for Truth

I was telling someone yesterday that it is the parents actually who are powerless compared to their children. We realize this only, mostly, when you have children. You realize that the power rests with the children when they have you wrapped around their finger actually. In the same way, the Master might seem to have some power or something but he is just a servant. He is just in service to your longing for the Truth. He is just here to serve (or she is just here to serve) this inward-turning that is happening for You.

All that has been shared here with my Father’s grace has been just for this: for You to come to Your discovery of the Satguru within, for You to have some representation of Your inner Presence. We are so used to relating to form. That is why we need the outer form to come and speak in a voice which is deeply familiar somehow; which feels like it’s the voice of my own heart; because it is actually. The only point (if there is a point of this outer instrument called Ananta) is to be a servant to this longing to turn inward to Your Presence, to Your Being. And then You find that the outer and the inner are one. There are not two; outer and inner.

So, with the discovery of the inner, nothing outer has to be discovered. It can seem like then the outer must be discarded once the inner is discovered (something like this). You find that there is no distinction. Everything is actually within Your Being. There is nothing that You perceive which is outside of Your Being, outside of Your Presence. So, my job (if there is such a thing) is to help in this way; to serve You in this way that You See what You truly Are [Silence] which is completely inclusive of everything.

The mind has one function, which is to say that you are separate. Mind likes to divide things up into compartments. The Intuitive Presence is the voice of unity, the voice of inclusion, not excluding any. The voice of acceptance is the dropping of the resistance to ‘What Is’.

The other day on Facebook I posted a video that I have loved for many years. It is Papaji’s [Poonja ji] video saying: ‘Why get up?’ Someone had this report that ‘When I am at your feet, I experience so much peace, so much love, so much joy.’ [I’m paraphrasing] Papaji (in his style) said ‘Did you sit? Did you sit at the Master’s feet? You sat? You experienced all this peace? Then why did you get up?’ It’s very beautiful. It can sound funny if you are just looking at it phenomenally as bodies, then it can seem like ‘What kind of question is that?’ But ‘Why did you get up?’ symbolizes something else. If you say that you are surrendered, then what comes that you take back this surrender? Relationship, money, body; can the Master not deal with all of this? If the Master can’t deal with all of this then what does ‘surrender’ even mean? Is it just words? Is it just something that we do during Satsang? ‘Why do you get up?’ means only this.

I used to say often earlier that between inquiry and surrender (they are not actually two; but conceptually) I used to say that surrender is the easy way. But over the past few years, I realized that our intellect, our mind, has been so deeply ingrained…, that this simple letting go and saying

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‘Now everything is my Master’s problem, come what may’ seems more difficult than anything else. You would rather have spiritual practices, things to do.

So, all of this that is pointed out in Satsang is only so that we can come to this non-resistive letting go of this play of the world, letting go of this idea that the Satguru cannot run this life; that there has been somebody here individually that has been doing all of this and that wants now to achieve something and get to some freedom or liberation.

That sounds like much more heavy lifting to me than to say, truly say that from the heart. What does it mean? Maybe at first, we say (I am not speaking about the sangha, I am speaking about humanity in general) many of us will say ‘Yes Master, yes God, please, I surrender to you. Take care of everything’. But what we are actually saying is ‘Take care of everything, but the way I want it taken care of’. It feels like we have now achieved the code to life; just go and say ‘Yes, I heard that surrender is the best thing to do, so I am just going to surrender, but make sure it goes well, okay?’ [Laughter] That is not really surrender.

As we sit at the Master’s feet truly it means: ‘Whatever might come, whatever is Thy will, let it be done. You are the doer, and You are the experiencer also’. ‘Tvam karta, Tvam bhogta.’ This is surrender. It is very popular these days to talk about doership and non-doership, but we continue to hold on to individual experiencer-ship. ‘Tvam karta, mein bhogta’ means ‘You are the doer but I am still the experiencer…, so make sure you do a good job of it!’ [Chuckles]

When we come to this recognition, there is only One. It is Consciousness in its Light which is playing with these images and sounds. There is no individual experiencer of these. It is Consciousness Itself which is tasting this in every moment. Consciousness Itself which has been playing as a deluded one, and Consciousness Itself coming to the simple recognition ‘I Am that I Am’. These are the words of your own God-Presence.

There is a beautiful devotional song which has the words ‘Tumse O Jori, Avar Sang Todi’ [which means] ‘Once I connect with You, then my seeming-play of this relationship of the phenomenal world seems to lose its meaning’. So, find this truest relationship in your Heart and you will actually discover that the meaning, the joy, the wonder in this world as we play as Presence Itself seems to become so amplified, so vibrant.

If, as individual entities, we are looking for meaning in this existence, it is a very frustrating journey because everything is constantly changing. The search for meaning is like a search for stability which you don’t find in an adverse engine. Then what can you anchor yourself to? You can anchor yourself to That which the Guru is pointing to which is Your own Presence, Your own Being.

This is the true meaning of the Guru; the One that is the Light. And as we shine the Light on your Truth, you will find that no ego has existed. The seeming darkness of individuality has just been another play of Consciousness. We are blessed to be in the holy Presence of the Master.

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Bless Everything

May the Satguru’s Grace bring all auspiciousness,

all love, all peace, all joy, all that is auspicious into your lives.

I want to say one last thing:

Allow your Presence to bless everything that comes in your view.

It already is, and yet, there is beauty in this allowing.

Don’t pick and choose what you bless and what you don’t bless.

All this is Your creation, all of these appearances

(and even the space between the appearances) are your children.

Bless everything.

Bless the world, bless every appearance in this world.

Allow your inner Satguru’s blessings to bless this beautiful creation.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti

~ ~ ~