Confession, the hollow servant
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
ह्मणवितों दास ते नाहीं करणी । आंत वरी दोन्ही भिन्न भाव ॥1॥
गातों नाचतों तें दाखवितों जना । प्रेम नारायणा नाहीं अंगीं ॥ध्रु.॥
पाविजे तें वर्म न कळे चि कांहीं । बुडालों या डोहीं दंभाचिया ॥2॥
भांडवल काळें हातोहातीं नेलें । माप या लागलें आयुष्यासी ॥3॥
तुका ह्मणे वांयां गेलों ऐसा दिसें । होईल या हांसें लौकिकाचें ॥4॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
I call myself a servant, but the conduct does not match. Inside and outside are two different things, with separate feelings. I sing and dance, but that is only a display for people. True love for Narayana is not present in my being. The secret of real attainment remains unknown to me. I have drowned in the deep pool of pretense. Time has stolen this capital of life, moment by moment. My lifespan is being measured out. Says Tuka, I appear to have been wasted. The world will laugh at this spectacle.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
I call myself a servant, but the deeds do not match; inside and outside are two different things. I sing, I dance, I show it to people, but love for Narayana is not in me. The secret of true attainment I do not grasp at all; I have drowned in this deep pool of pretense. Time has carried off the capital of my life from hand to hand; my lifespan is being measured out. Tuka says: I look like one who has been wasted. The world will laugh at this spectacle.
What it means
Tukaram accuses himself of being a servant in name only, split between an outward act and an empty inside. His singing and dancing are a display for onlookers, while real love for Narayana is missing. He has not found the secret of true attainment and is sinking in a deep pool of pretense, even as time silently steals the capital of his life and his allotted days run down. He fears the verdict: a wasted life that the world will rightly mock. The poem turns the listener's eye to the gap between public devotion and the heart, and to how little time there is to close it.
Confession and Sin
Raw, unflinching accounts of personal failure, weakness, and the weight of sin.
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