Confession, the painted actor
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
बळें बाहएात्कारें संपादिलें सोंग । नाहीं जाला त्याग अंतरींचा ॥1॥
ऐसें येतें नित्य माझ्या अनुभवा । मनासी हा ठावा समाचार ॥ध्रु.॥
जागृतीचा नाहीं अनुभव स्वप्नीं । जातों विसरुनि सकळ हें ॥2॥
प्रपंचाबाहेरि नाहीं आलें चित्त । केले करी नित्य वेवसाय ॥3॥
तुका ह्मणे मज भोरप्या चि परी । जालें सोंग वरी आंत तैसें ॥4॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
By great effort and outward force I have fashioned a show of renunciation, but the inner letting go has not truly happened. This is what comes to me daily in my own experience; my mind knows this report well. The wakefulness I practice does not carry into dreams; I forget everything there. My chitta has not come out from the grip of worldly concerns; it continues its habitual business day after day. Says Tuka, like a painted actor: the outward show is complete, but within, everything remains the same.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
By force, by an outward push, I have put on a show of renunciation; the inner letting go has not happened. This comes to me daily in my own experience; my mind knows this report well. What I keep awake to does not reach into dreams; there I forget all of it. My mind has not come out from the world's grip; it goes on with its old business every day. Tuka says: I am like a painted actor. The show outside is complete, and within it stays the same.
What it means
Tukaram turns the satire on himself and confesses that his renunciation is staged. He has forced an outward appearance of giving up, but inside nothing has been let go, and he admits his own daily experience tells him so. The test he applies is sharp: what is real reaches even into sleep, yet his discipline vanishes in dreams, and his mind never actually leaves its worldly business. He names himself a bhorpi, a painted performer whose costume is perfect while the man underneath is unchanged. The abhanga asks the listener to apply the same honest test to their own piety.
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