Longing, the anxious questions of an unsure soul
Original Marathi from the Tukaram Gatha · About Sant Tukaram
मराठी मूळ
करिसी कीं न करिसी माझा अंगीकार । हा मज विचार पडिला देवा ॥1॥
देसी कीं न देसी पायांचें दर्शन । ह्मणऊनि मन िस्थर नाहीं ॥ध्रु.॥
बोलसी कीं न बोलसी मजसवें देवा । ह्मणोनियां जीवा भय वाटे ॥2॥
होईल कीं न होय तुज माझा आठव। पडिला संदेह हा चि मज ॥3॥
तुका ह्मणे मी कमाईचे हीण। ह्मणऊनि सीण करीं देवा ॥4॥
काय सेवा रुजु आहे सत्ताबळ । तें मज राउळ कृपा करी ॥ध्रु.॥
काय याती शुद्ध आहे कुळ कर्म । तेणें पडे वर्म तुझे ठायीं ॥2॥
कोण तपोनिध दानधर्मसीळ । अंगीं एक बळ आहे सत्ता ॥3॥
तुका ह्मणे वांयां जालों भूमी भार । होईल विचार काय नेणों ॥4॥
Tukaram Gatha (Marathi Wikisource)
English Translation
Will You accept me or will You not? This question has come to me, O God. Will You show me Your feet or will You not? My mind cannot be still. Will You speak to me, O God, or will You not? Fear grips my jiva. Will You remember me or will You not? This is the very doubt that sits with me. Says Tuka, I am lacking in spiritual merit, and so I grow weary, O God. Is my service upright, is there any power in it? O Temple, show me grace. Is my birth pure, my family karma right? Through that, does the vital point of You become reachable? Who possesses the wealth of austerity, the virtue of charity and dharma? Is there any strength or authority in my being? Says Tuka, I have become a useless burden on the earth. What will come of this, I do not know.
We ask forgiveness for any inaccuracies in rendering Tukaram ji’s original Marathi.
In Plain Words
Will You accept me or not? This question has come to me, O God. Will You show me Your feet or not? My mind cannot be still. Will You speak with me, O God, or not? Fear grips my life. Will You remember me or not? This is the very doubt that sits with me. Tuka says: I am poor in merit, and so I grow weary, O God. Is my service sound, is there any strength in it? O Temple, show me grace. Is my birth pure, my family's karma right, so that the heart of You becomes reachable? Who here has the wealth of austerity, the virtue of charity and dharma? Is there any strength or standing in me at all? Tuka says: I have become a useless burden on the earth. What will come of this, I do not know.
What it means
This is the prayer of a soul who cannot get hold of any assurance. Tukaram presses God with a string of yes-or-no questions, will You accept me, show Your feet, speak to me, remember me, and confesses his mind will not stay still and that fear has hold of his life. Then he turns the doubt on himself, auditing everything he might offer: his service, his birth, his family's karma, his austerity, charity, and dharma, and finding nothing he can lean on. The honesty is the point: he refuses to claim merit he does not have, calling himself a useless burden on the earth. Stripped of every credential, he is left with the question itself and a plea to the Temple, Panduranga, for grace.
Longing and Separation
Cries from the dark night of the soul: remonstrances, complaints, and desperate yearning.
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