Your Heart Loves to Pray - 27th March 2024

Father, I noticed something. That if I don't just go to bed and go to sleep, I observe that sleep... whatever, like you say, Father, Maya just... it is so overwhelming that we just get carried away. And I feel that whatever pointings are there, it's all coming through that time. That all this Maya, it just seems it just goes away. It's not real. All the learning comes through that time, I feel.

So the whole point of spirituality, the whole point of satsang, is to recognize in the waking state what we already know in the sleep state. We've said this often, that we come to satsang so that that which we know while asleep, see, that we recognize while being awake. So when I ask you, 'What do you recognize? What do you know?' and you know nothing, it is an invitation to that. That we remain empty in our heads, we are not identified with any ignorance, any avidya, and we come to a pure recognition of that eternal light, the light of pure awareness.

So we can't do that? Can I not be almost asleep all the time? And then that... that would be freedom.

Such it won't, because the mind will pull you in into some topic, you see. So you may say, 'Okay, I'm going to just...' unless you're medicating or something like that, you see. So you feel like, 'I'm just going to be almost asleep.' So to that point where I've lost the identity is... sometimes we are really tired also, we could be bothered with the identity, you see. You played a lot of sports growing up or something, you had days of very hard work; there comes a point after which you are not bothered about anything. So in the same way, if our expectation is that, 'Let's just be like in that barely awake state,' you see, it's not going to happen because the mind's job is to try and give you something which gets your attention, gets your identification. So it'll give you something there where you are trying to be empty of that, you see, by just being sleepy, but it'll wake you up with something. 'Oh, I didn't notice, but three days back, how did he talk to me? How dare he say that?' you know. And then you spend your whole day thinking about that useless topic. It has no meaning for anything, you see. So the mind's job is to give you topics so that you are constantly distracted away from this burning presence in your heart, the Atma within. So to keep you distracted from that Atma within, which is actually so, so naturally apparent when you turn inwards. So that is the job. So the only way out of it is to come to His refuge, His sharan, you see. He must come to the refuge of the Atma within, of His presence within. So to come to God's refuge is the only way out of this. Other empirical, mechanical, medicinal, you know, things don't work, can't work. Maybe for a day something feels so nice, then the mind finds a way. It finds a way to pull you in even in those situations. So how to come into the refuge of God so that we can forever be in His presence and therefore the truth of who we are, the everlasting pure awareness, the eternal pure awareness being our reality? That... that is the question, is it? And the answer, you know, because I repeat it at every satsang, you see. Try to be empty all the time, or try to be praying all the time. Both are not distinct, but they seem distinct as parts. Try to inquire all the time into the nature of who you really are, or try to surrender yourself through your prayer, through your chanting, through your devotion all the time. Spirituality is not a part-time project, you see. But it doesn't mean you have to give up your job, that you have to give up your family. That is not the renunciation that is needed. The renunciation that is needed is from mental topics. Don't be attached to any topic. If you have to be attached to some topic, then make that God. Maybe that is the simplest way to describe spirituality. Don't be attached to any topic at all, but if you must, then make it God. So what are the topics we are attached to? Can we sacrifice them today in the fire of today's satsang? What are the topics, huh?

Self-worth, self-esteem.

Okay, so leave that. Surrender that to God. What else? See, at least your intention to fully surrender it, activate the surrender, you see. If you immediately say, 'Oh, is that done? I've been trying for years, it doesn't go,' then you're not being full-hearted about it. It needs the innocence of a child, you see. It needs the innocence of a child who can just follow you, hearing from a credible source that you have to jump. If you have the innocence to jump without knowing how to jump, where to jump, how it will happen, will my feet get dirty, what will happen to me, will I fall, you see, all of that. So have your full-hearted intention to let go of your attachments to your topics of attachment. Then you're throwing away this photo album section by section instead of photo by photo, see. Otherwise, you look at every thought, you say, 'Who is attached to this?' It's a process, it's a beautiful process, but instead of that, just throw the topic. So what are the topics you are attached to, huh?

Justice.

Justice, you see. And that which is already happening for us to think about that, you see, or how it is not happening, or how it can happen better. All of that would be what? Suppose somebody is sitting here in this room saying, 'I'm thinking about how to make the world go around.' The world is already going around. What are you going to do to it? So you're thinking, 'Okay, can I add... can I push a little bit more so it goes a bit faster or in the direction that I want?' What would you call such a one? Call them foolish. So to presume that God's justice is not playing out every single instant, in every breath, in every heartbeat, you see, is our foolishness. Because we have an idea of what it should be, and that idea of what it should be prevents us from being in servitude to His will. We think that we know what would be better than what is. So in our thoughts of justice, we are already resisting what is, isn't it? We are not... I'm presuming you're not saying you're sitting and marveling, 'How good is God's justice! Wow, how wonderful is God!' You're not doing that. That would be fine. So I'm presuming you're saying, 'How unjust is life! How is it so unfair? Why do these things happen?' All this kind of thing is a resistance to God's will and God's justice. So to put it simply, I always tell some of you that don't worry, God is doing hisab of everything. Now, that hisab doesn't mean that He's sitting one day and He's going to chop the heads off or whatever it may be; that we don't know. But we have to trust even the way He decides to deal with that, isn't it? Like, we cannot superimpose our limiting human notions of what is right and what is wrong into the Master of a zillion universes. Like we try to tell Him, 'Oh, but this doesn't seem fair to me.' Who are you? If that little plant started speaking suddenly and said, 'I don't feel, Ananta, you know, what you're saying is very right. I don't feel like it's very just,' see, keep quiet and listen, you see. So... and we are nothing, not even a grain of sand for a grain of sand in front of God. So who are we to say what is justice? So please drop this topic. It is most useless. Yes, I hope I've squeezed it out of you. And if you all agree to do this, you will see that your grievances have all gone. Who do you have a grievance with? You think it's from a fellow brother and sister, but you think anything happens without His will? It doesn't happen without His will. So trust His will. He knows when to use the carrot, when to use the stick. He knows exactly what is needed: when to nudge, when to push, when to slap, when to love. He knows very well. So we don't have to waste our time thinking about this, away from loving God, away from enjoying His presence and delighting in the fact that He can rest within our Self. Don't... this is a very favorite mind distraction for all of you, you see. 'How can I hold a grievance? How can I understand why life is so unfair, why my brothers and sisters are so unfair, why my Master is so unfair?' you see. 'Why everything is so unfair?' Because we presume stupidity at all levels except ourselves, you see. When we have a grievance, you see, we are presuming our Master is stupid, our satsang is stupid, God is stupid. You're presuming everyone is stupid except for us, isn't it? That's how we can complain, isn't it? We only know He should not have done this, He should have done that, He doesn't know what He's doing. And when we are talking like that about God, you see, the wise ones who are matured in spirituality should stay away from this. Because to hold a grievance against God is the worst kind of foolishness.

How to stay... how to stay away? Somebody does something to us, speaking... should not be happening. Sitting by and watching like that? Yeah, how to stay? Everything okay, okay. Then I come to a point where it hits me and so...

How to stay away is like that next question. No, so like that would be, for example, if that doesn't happen, then recognize that it is burning something in you, you see. Something someone is saying, something someone is doing is agitating you. All of that, so that is your sadhana, you see. So take it as a gift from God to point you. Otherwise, if these things would not happen, we all think that we are very accomplished in our spirituality, you know. We are always empty, we can let go of all things, you see. So when these things happen, then we let go of our pride, we let go of our complacency, and we truly learn how to turn to God. Suppose you're in the most oppressive environment, you see, where everyone is constantly oppressing you in some way or the other, then you have no means to turn, nowhere to turn except to turn within, isn't it? So can we turn within even when we have to play the roles of the world? Can we? Yes, we can. So use your japa. Use your japa and don't leave that, you see. Even when you're engaging in a conversation, inwardly be in your 'Ram Ram.' So... and when you get pulled out, then notice that you fell for it again and return, you see. So... and this is a lifetime project, but the lifetime project is worth it, is it? Because every time you switch over, you turn to God, you don't fall for the temptation, you see, of Maya. Now, whatever it may be, it is Maya, isn't it? If it's in the realm of perception, it is Maya. So suppose right now you fall for it five times out of ten. If you make that four times out of ten, you've done better. One more time you turn to God. If you make that three, if you make that two, if you make that one, step by step. But the idea is to be 100% with God. You will fail. All of us will fail. I fail every day, you see. Every day I fail. So, but then I want to do better. I want to learn. One very, very drastic thing I heard, maybe I'll say it a different way...

Isn't it? If it's in the realm of perception, it is Maya. So suppose right now you fall for it five times out of ten. If you make that four times out of ten, you've done better. One more time you turn to God. If you make that three, if you make that two, if you make that one—step by step. But the idea is to be 100% with God. You will fail; all of us will fail. I fail every day, you see? Every day I fail. But then I want to do better. I want to learn.

One very, very drastic thing I heard—maybe I'll say it a different way because it was too drastic—from one of Hanuman Prasad Poddar Ji's satsangs. He said that the true spiritual seeker is one who, if they miss one opportunity to chant the name of God or to remember His name in our heart, then they get so upset like something drastic has happened. I can't bring myself to say it because it's scary sounding even for me. So presume like it's the worst, worst thing, and then we return to that saying: that I had a chance to be with God, but instead I got involved with the Maya of the world.

It is compelling sometimes. When you're getting free from Maya, then these situations happen more because Maya starts playing that way: 'What can I send there so that they can get involved with me again?' I've noticed with all of you children also: two, three days you are happy, peaceful. 'Oh, God is so great, God is so amazing, God, God, God, God.' Then the fourth day, something, you know, something will happen, something you will do. Isn't it? Have you noticed this pattern? I noticed it in all of you, actually. You're really deepening, you're really following, you're really getting the perfume of His presence, and then Maya sends one trump card, you see? 'What about this? And then what about this?' That topic seems so relevant, so important, you see? And what happened? The one that was there the last three, four days is gone. This new one who's upset and angry and something and something, you see?

And all of you may think that Father is speaking about me. That's how pervasive this is. Three, four days if I'm lucky—three, four days is if I'm lucky and if you're lucky. So this is how Maya plays. So the wisdom now for all of you, time to become wiser, is to notice this. Is to notice: 'Okay, now for three, four days I was fine, just empty, enjoying His presence, learning about Him, deepening in His life, and today it has offered me this topic and it seems to be so true and so important,' you see? But it's not important. Nothing is important enough for us to leave God. But we will fail; all of us will fail. But we have to learn. This is how we will become more and more mature.

So can that three, four days become three, four weeks? This is how. Like one year back, many more things were upsetting you, isn't it? So you would have had that question also. With every turning towards Him, He makes you stronger in your spiritual intent, you see? He makes you let go of the false ignorance. Every time you, you see, let go of the temptation. It's like fasting. Initially in fasting, the first day if you see a rasgulla, it seems very tempting, you see? Second day it doesn't seem that much. Third day it's okay. Fourth day you don't want to have it because you're reminded of how heavy you will feel. It's just like that. So when you turn once, you deepen. Second time you deepen even more. Third time you deepen even more.

But if you fall for this trick—'Oh, but it just is automatic, I can't do anything about it'—then we are falling for the mind. It is not automatic. Identification happens only with your permission. And to believe that it's automatic, it just happens, is falling for the mind trick which prevents you from doing anything about it, from turning to God. There would be not a single point to any sage—we put up their photos on the wall in all this Kendra, you see—if it was not true that we could do something about it. Is it? Otherwise why are they talking all this? When it's going to happen, it's going to happen. We have to turn towards Him because He's right there. His presence is right there in your heart.

Before coming to satsang, I was almost teary-eyed because I felt like: how did He make His presence apparent to such a fool like me? I didn't do any spiritual practice properly. I was much, much, much more immature than any of you. And yet in His grace, in His mercy, He made this happen. Maybe He wanted this instrument to be used in this way. But I'm so, so, so grateful, and all of us should be so grateful that the possibility is alive for us. And most of you can attest to His presence within you. You realize what a gift that is? He is there within you, the Lord of this universe and much more. This is not just words. Literally, I'm saying, if a Prime Minister of a country came to the room, then you'd all be, 'Oh, the Prime Minister has come,' you see? But I'm telling you as a more fact than any fact can be, that the Lord of this universe and much more lives within your heart.

What other topic can the mind offer you which can be of interest to you now? Because the mind has a way to make this diminish or normalize or regularize what I'm saying, you see? So don't fall for that trick. It is not something normal that I'm telling you, not something regular that I'm telling you. But most of us treat it normally. It's just like we started getting tomatoes in that shop next to our house; maybe we give more value to that information than to the fact that God lives within us, you see? You feel like, 'Yeah, yeah, that's okay, He can wait. But how dare he do that to me?' And we don't realize the extent of the error we are making.

Does anyone have a doubt about the fact that He, the Lord of the universe, lives within yourself—capital 'S' Self? Anyone have a doubt? You see, because if you have a doubt about it, work on that doubt. Go deeply within, explore for yourself, and His light will show you that this is true. And then your true spirituality will begin, right? Because if you doubt His very existence and His very gift to us, which is to make Himself apparent within ourselves, then we haven't started our spiritual journey yet. The beginning of spirituality is to have faith about this fact: that He is real and He can be found when I turn within myself. And only in His refuge, only in His light, can we come to a true self-realization and remain without any pride for any spiritual experiences we may have or not have.

So to remain empty of the 'me' and to remain fully in love with Him, for love's sake, for His sake, is the way. It is the way to Him. So don't disturb yourself with any other topic but Him. And He's not a disturbing topic. What are the topics you enjoy? They're like channels on the TV. Just cut off the cable connection or Fire Stick or whatever we have—not to your TV, to your head. Every topic. Everyone, let's go one by one quickly. Every topic. Relationships? Favorite topic, sir? What's your favorite topic that you think about?

How to remain in Atma.

Okay, now that's a—we'll come to this. Okay, that's a tricky one. Okay.

Justice in relationships.

Justice in relationships. Okay.

How to find happiness.

How to find happiness. Okay. Something that you would have read. There's no constant topic I remember. Okay. Yet reasoning about that which is beyond reason. Did I post something from yesterday? You must come to that, is it? Where reason does not reach. I'm paraphrasing; someone can remind me what the exact phrase was. We give too much power to our reasoning, too much credence to its ability. We cannot understand one moment of our life. We cannot understand one instant of anything. One tiny object in this universe we have not unraveled, we have not understood its true nature. So don't trust your reasoning; trust your intuition.

So this grasping for understanding, you see, is something that it's time for you to leave now. So till we have enough understanding in our heads, we feel like we are not truly getting it, you see? So that wobbliness—just go through. Just go through till your heart starts speaking to you, and there you will know everything that you need to know. That is the main part of the switchover. One fallacy that we have is that we think that God's presence is silent, it doesn't say anything, you see? But I told the child, and I want to tell all of you, that not one sentence of a spiritual book you can truly understand except for the guidance of the Atma within. If it was not guiding you, you would not get what is being said.

And I shared this experience with you that many, many years back, before I met Guruji, I ordered this book called A Course in Miracles. I opened it and I could not understand it. Then one night the spirit, the Atma, decided to guide me and I understood everything it was saying, the book, you see? But maybe I became proud again, so I said, 'Oh, I'm really getting it, this is good,' you see? So I closed it. Next morning I opened it again; it was gibberish. I couldn't understand it. And then it took me many, many months or years to get back into that understanding. What happened that night? Is it? What happened that night? That there was the assistance of something, isn't it? Not an external something; there was the assistance of the Atma within, of the Holy Spirit within.

So don't think that you have understood anything spiritual by yourselves. All spirituality is only understood with the aid of the spirit, you see? Otherwise it just remains a dead spirituality in our heads. So don't fall for that kind of spirituality which is just understanding and remembering. It is not helpful at all. Just come fully into the stewardship of the Atma within. That has to become a project: become a disciple of your Atma. Because your Atma is not quiet as you think, but it has a soft, loving voice which we don't hear in the crowd of the loud, authoritative head.

So as we learn to become empty, as we learn to remain in His presence, then He guides us in such a beautiful way. And the one that He is guiding, nothing can stand in their way because He can change everything at a finger snap, you see? He is the one. He is God's presence. All of time and space, this whole universe can vanish at the snap of a finger—not even a snap. So that is the one that I'm talking about, and He is guiding you in love, you see? He's guiding you in love, in love for you, and teaching you how to love Him.

In front of this, no relationship is relevant. No relationship can distract you from this. All relationships can happen in the world. When you're meeting so much love in your heart, you're bound to share that love. But the relationships will not be relationships of desperation and of grasping; they will be relationships of true love which is free and freeing you. So please understand that it is not that His presence does not speak and therefore for understanding we have to turn to our heads, but we must learn—you must learn—to be empty of false understanding first.

I had a teacher in school. When she found out that some students were taking tuitions in her subject, then she got very irritated. She said, 'I'm not going to teach you. You ask your tuition teacher.' So if you have allegiance to two teachers, it doesn't work. And I'm not talking about in the worldly sense. So have allegiance to the Atma within, to God's presence within, and leave all allegiance to the mind because the mind will find a way to trick you. It will find a way to trick you because its knowledge is very linear. Have you noticed? Have you noticed how the words of a scripture, of a true scripture, or the words of any true satsang, you see how they seem different from the words of like a very academic book or a mental sort of discourse? The very nature is different. You see, not just the presence of love, which is important, but the nature of the true light, the true guidance, is not linear. It is symphonic, you see? It just builds symphonically, not conceptually. So you'll start getting a sense of all of this already. You all have that—what is just purely academic and conceptual and what has the hand of God in it.

The very nature of this is different, you see. It is not like a very academic book or a mental sort of discourse. The nature is different. It is not just the presence of love, which is important, but the nature of the True Light. The true guidance is not linear; it is symphonic, you see. It just builds symphonically, not conceptually. So you will start getting a sense of all of this already. All of you have that sense of what is purely academic and conceptual and what has the hand of God in it, in the sense of it having come from the guidance of the spirit within. Okay, did we stop the topic of the topics midway? Yeah, we stopped, but I get a sense of it. You know, you want to expose it. Okay, let's go. Relationship, lack of relationship? Yes, you know what my answer is going to be: make a relationship with your heart.

Topic: work. God's work. It sounds like a cliché if I keep going like that, but really, there is so much work for us to be done. There is so much work for us to be done in the sense that there is so much deepening that can happen. The sages have told us about such depth of insight, such depth of love for God, with the humble, quiet work that they put in day after day in their prayers, in their devotion, in their inquiry. So much of this work is to be done. So take that to be your main work. Keep polishing the mirror every day.

Topic: it seems like a long topic. Father, what pushes my buttons is things with my in-laws. Really, that is the design of this relationship. How do we deal with it? Like everyone, that is the human condition, Father. How can you be with someone who cannot reciprocate your love? Meaning, there is absolutely... you love them because they would reciprocate. That is not love. What to say?

Okay, keep the in-laws topic aside. We will tackle that at the end. Yeah, take the mic. He is Krishna. Join on Zoom and others talk like that with that mic so, as far as possible, I can hear my own voice. Speak loudly anyway.

So, He was playing with His friends and He said that—can you all hear that? They were punished? No, they can't hear. So, He said that they were always being punished. He says, 'But I have never really been punished.' And they said, 'But when we get punished...' He was playing with His friends, yeah. So, the friends say that they have been punished by their parents and He says, 'But I have never really been punished yet.' So they said, 'Yeah, but when we get punished, we get love twice over when we make up.' So, He decides He has to go and get punished. So He does some little naughty things, but He is not punished. And then He breaks all the diyas of the... now she really gets angry and she takes His stick and she is going to beat Him up. All the gopis come there, but she ties Him up to this tree, to this whatever it is called. Every time she tries to tie Him, two fingers of rope are less. Yeah, so she keeps on and on at it, but it doesn't... and she gets the whole thing. And then now it has been like five times over. So she prays to and says, 'You know, you please help me because I can't tie Him and I mean, really, I need to punish Him now.' So after she prays, then it gets tied.

So Lord Shiva and Ma Parvati are sitting and He is still... they are laughing. And He says, 'Do you know why those two fingers are always last?' He says the first one is that once the bhakta has to surrender, it is only that much distance. But one finger is that the bhakta has to fully surrender and give out and call the Lord. The second one is from the Lord's side; He will also then fully hear you and come rushing to help her. Just so really, so beautiful. And then He gets tied. And then, like you said, it is never a linear story. So now all the gopis feel very bad because they have had Him punished and they are begging her now, 'Forgive Him.' So they go in and she is returning their milk or whatever. But then those two trees which are calling Him, He goes there and they fall down. And they were the punished—apparently punished—all blessed by the Sage Narad because they were being very obnoxious. So he says, 'Okay, you are going to become a tree and learn how to serve other people without anything in return.' So He frees them.

Yeah, so He frees them. But He says it is just so... the whole thing is so... you know? Yeah, I just love hearing you. Just keep hearing those stories. So much love. So we have to have an in-laws satsang, right? Then you have a topic, a favorite topic that your mind tempts you with. We all know his topic, which he is talking about all the time.

For me, you know, it is... I am not giving a lot of time to work matters and daily matters. And it is shrinking abnormally. What I mean to say is, it used to be okay, you know, but now it is just like, I am like, 'Where did the day go?' That is my worry, you know. I mean, worry isn't... you know how it is. I mean, there are whatever people to do this and that. And coming from where I was, luckily, nobody is judging me now because I am just taking it easy. But you know, it is just alarmingly shrinking days. So I don't know what to say, what to make of it. I mean, it is even like getting out of bed in the morning takes a lot of time because you get up and then sometimes you just see blazing light, no body, nothing, right? And you just have to start the day. You just feel like, 'Okay, do I really have to get up?' So, and it sounds weird, right? But it is just time is just going away and I don't know. This is one... if I have to flag something, I have to say that this notion that the river of spirituality and the river of functioning—even if it is a made-up world—will all flow harmoniously is not true for me. It is almost like actions are falling away, right?

So it actually sounds good to me. It doesn't sound like a problem. He is saying it, just that... I mean, in a lot of other circles, it is a big problem. Yeah, so just... you go to talk to most of the other circles. Yeah, now what to do? You become a square; you won't fit into those circles. What to do? They have to become squares now to fit into you. And some of them may want to. I keep seeing some of your friends sometimes and they always come and talk to me, very sweet, and they talk about you. Who knows, one day they may become like you. What is the topic? Relationship, attention, comfort? So what, for example, give me a thought. Sorry, give me an example thought.

Like, somebody does not give me attention, so I feel a bit upset about it. Somebody does not give me attention, so I feel upset about it. Or no, if nobody is giving importance to what I am talking, so am I foolish to talk?

You get the joke? No, no, I was turning away to just pretend as if I am not paying attention to what she says. Sorry, I didn't get that. So what do you get when you get attention?

I feel good. It feels good. I feel I am important.

But I want to tell you that there is one who is waiting to shower all His attention on you, and that one is the King of the Universe. He sits in your heart. And once you learn to let go of your mind and to be in His presence, you will see that the love that we are hoping to feel with someone's attention, that is in so much abundance in your heart. Your heart is full of this. It is so much that if you distributed it to everyone that you ever came across, you would not run out. So instead of expecting it, try this for me: that instead of expecting it from things on the outside, you turn your attention to the inside. Find out who lives there. Because actually, our outer seeking of attention is just a lame replacement for this love that we need from the Atma within, from His presence in our heart.

In the entire human condition, we live with a hole in our heart. We feel constantly dissatisfied and unloved because we have not met this love. Once you learn this love, then you will be the giver of love and attention to all the brothers and sisters in this world, and you will not expect it from any of them because your heart is full. It is overflowing. So this is your project: turn the need for external attention, make it a need to turn inwards and find the One who loves us within our heart. It is a source of all love, all peace, all joy, all insight, all guidance, all rest. Everything we need is there. So this is my job: to just guide everyone to this meeting, this holy meeting within their hearts.

You see how the sages are? In the photos also, you see they are just sitting, just happy by themselves. You can see that their eyes may be open, but their attention is turned inwards. Because that is the true source. Every antidote, every solution to the human condition is found within yourself, you see. So if you can today, make this promise that for the next two years, you will try your best to turn inwards towards Him. And if in two years it doesn't work, then you come and have a fight with me. I feel like in two years your prayer, your devotion, your strength in the heart will stabilize. So this is beautiful to see that although the ultimate truth is instant—the insight in a moment you recognize your true nature—but the process of disinvesting from Maya's temptations is... of which expecting things from the world, including attention and love, is a very important trick up its sleeve. Is it? So give it some time. Just turn inwards. Keep turning inwards. You will fail, you will get up again. You will fail, you will get up again. This process will happen till you start to stabilize so deeply that you will find that your true home is in your heart. There you find the loving presence of God who is waiting to shower all His attention and love on you, on every child, you see, because we are His children. So try it. Try it my way.

Anyone else had to share the topic? Favorite topic? We are done with that topic. Yes, only with God. Only with God. Only if it is coming from God or it is going to God. So as we are meeting God, then your heart will be filled with unconditional love. As you learn how to love Him actively, unconditionally, you see, then your treasure chest of love will get fuller and fuller. You will never demand it or expect it from the world. How can the world give it to you anyway?

Suppose Shiva comes and gives me love, but the love that I will feel as a result of that has to come from within only, is it? So although that may serve as a catalyst and create some openness here to accept the love, you see, I am only receiving love from God's presence always. He is only receiving love from God's presence always, you see. To expect it from worldly objects or things which are appearances, actually, is a great trick of Maya, you see. And hopefully that solves the in-law issue. Are you starting to see the tricks? It says you must get attention. What are you getting attention from? A bunch of mud. The body is going to become mud. It comes from mud, it is going to become mud. And that gives you attention? What's the big deal in that? These are just the tricks of Maya to tell you that these things are important. The one where you need to pay attention to, and where all love will come from, is within yourself. Don't expect things from these mud buckets. You're expecting attention from the body.

So if you ask the child, or if you ask even yourself... so if for three days I don't look at you, then this mud bucket only, no? Didn't look at you. The body, I mean the body. I mean, it is even the mind. If it be this person, how you know you're getting attention? Because it's because... okay, somebody may look at you or right, connect with you and connect. So all the of the mud bucket that... but not like this. She's also with student, so both of you can meet up after my meeting. As long as it doesn't become punching bag, then okay. As long as it doesn't lead to any punching happening. It is so funny, you didn't have...

I mean, it's even the mind. If it be this person, how you know you're getting attention is because somebody may look at you or connect with you. So, all the mud bucket that... but not like this. She's also with stent, so both of you can meet up after my meeting, as long as it doesn't become a punching bag then, okay? As long as it doesn't lead to any punching happening. It is so funny, you didn't have to buy tickets also. The strange thing—oh, that's why the hall is half empty. Is there a match today? All the boys are missing. Is it the Bangalore match? Mumbai? Oh, no.

The strange thing, what I see is, when you are a child, or when we got married, various events are taking place in life. So when we got married, we say that he is your husband; we play the role of a wife. We play the role of a mother when the child is born, and immediately we adjust to that. But all the Masters are coming and saying, 'You are Brahman, you are Brahman,' and we don't want to act accordingly. This we took in seconds, but being in Brahman and playing the role, that is not happening. Why? Only this is a very big...

The levels are completely incomparable. The levels of which we are talking about are completely incomparable. So you come to the insight that you are Brahman, but that insight cannot be applied to this body. Being Brahman isn't so. Then, as the Nirguna Brahman, you see, you are the witness of the birth of the Saguna. Within the Saguna, all this play of light and sound appears. Within that, one object and its sensations is appearing, that is this one. You see, from the perspective of Nirguna Brahman, this body is just another appearance which is moving in the light of Consciousness, just like everything else.

Then there is no concept of doership or how should I behave or what should I do, because you're completely empty to all of that. Then you live in that recognition of what you are truly, you see. That is the first part of what I'm saying. So when we are empty conceptually, only then do we live in the intuitive insight of what we truly are. And when we are empty conceptually, then there is no concept of either doership or experiencers; either of those are not there. So if that is your insight, that you are Brahman, then there is no room for 'how is the role to be played?' The role is to be played just like the sun rises and sets, the plant grows, the flower blooms. There's no individual doership there.

See, now having said that, it's important to say that anyone and everyone who has come to the true insight of their nature as pure awareness itself, Nirguna Brahman, you see, have also admitted that in the compelling nature of Maya, nobody lets go of their identity 100%. Is it? Nobody. Not even the greatest sages. They will say that one tanmatra of ego still remains. And they will say it is so that I don't walk into the ocean, you see. And so, because I still want to preserve this body, all of that, they will give whatever reasoning for it. But the fact is that you must admit that Maya is compelling enough that you may have the highest insight, but the tinge of individuality, the flavor of the slightest individuality, does not go.

So, with that aspect of me that remains in spite of having the highest insight, you see, what to do with that is to make that a servant of God's will. If you can remain that 'me' that remains after seeing that I don't exist in that way—I am Brahman itself—but that identity which comes then must identify only as the follower of the will of God. Which means that he has told us that our only job is to follow His will. Who is He telling? He is not telling Brahman; He is telling that which remains. So, on one end, I am the highest from which even Consciousness, which is the light of the universe, emerges; and on the other end, that which I identify with still has to be just a mere servant of God.

How to be a good servant of God? You can't be a good servant of God unless you meet Him. Yeah? Somebody says, 'Okay, now you have to serve that one,' and you say, 'I'm serving that one well.' And someone says, 'Have you met that one?' You say, 'No, I haven't met that one.' You see, then how are we serving that well? Then we are serving the presumptions of what He would want, you see, which is what most of the world tries to do in moralistic and ethical ways. That God would want us to tell the truth, so we are telling; God would want us to do this, so we are doing. But when a conundrum comes in front of us, like the Arjuna conundrum comes in front of us, then we need God to tell us directly what is right for us in that moment.

See, and for that, a meeting with God is needed in our heart. See, so I'm telling you that to be a servant of God, you must come to His presence, and His presence is called the Atma within. This Atma will guide us, will move us, and will tell us how we need to move every step of the way. And as we learn to follow the guidance of the Atma, then you will notice that your insight that you are Brahman also deepens, and the identity also keeps thinning out more and more. Every other mental guidance that we follow, our identity increases, you see. But you follow the guidance of the Atma within, your identity reduces. So that then becomes a beautiful process where both ends of this—the servitude to God deepens our recognition of our highest nature, and the recognition of our highest nature deepens our servitude to God. It's beautiful.

The will of God... in the present moment, whatever is happening, that can be considered as a will of God? Like if we don't have...

Think about it. If you don't have direct access to Him, then we can presume that whatever is moving in the world right now is the will of God. Like it is said, not a blade of grass moves unless it is the will of God. But true spirituality is to be able to meet Him directly. To meet Spirit. Spirit means His presence, His light, His Atma within us. So, he did not say, 'But by the way, everything that is happening is anyway, so therefore I'm giving you a meaningless instruction.' He didn't say that. What is the point of saying that and then saying, 'But de facto it is that way only, so no point'?

So He's saying that we must deepen in our love for Him, we must deepen in our faith with Him, that we can meet His presence, and then our life becomes just in servitude truly to Him. Otherwise, Arjuna could have also said, 'Oh, it is your will that I kept the bow down, you see, I am not fighting.' Whereas God is telling him, 'You must fight.' So provisionally, for those who are at the surface of spirituality, that acceptance helps us to accept that everything happens by the will of God. As they deepen in that acceptance, they will realize that their lives can be used as deeper instruments of God, you see, by becoming servants of His will, which is expressly being conveyed to them.

You see, you have a sense of what I'm saying? Like when you come to His presence, allow His presence only to move, you see. When you're faced with the conflict, when you're faced with the doubt, allow the guidance only to come from Him, you see. And if you put your trust only in Him, He will find a way to communicate with you. Because our ears are not tuned yet to hearing the Atma's guidance. But if you rely only on Him, only on God, then you will get the answer in one way or the other. Is it? But He's going to test two things, as is usually seen in the world: He's going to test your patience and He's going to test your courage. Because sometimes to wait for His guidance, it seems like the whole world is pressurizing you, the whole world is after you. Then you need courage to say, 'No, I don't know the answer, I'm waiting for God's guidance.' And this needs both patience and courage. And that needs very strong faith that you can truly have faith in God, that He will answer your prayer, He will answer your call. And our faith is tested.

Yes, sometimes, I don't know if you had interaction like this, but they may start happening like this. Somebody may come and ask you something about satsang or about Bhagavan or about self-realization or about something like that, and then it also may come from a different place from where it usually comes from. You may notice that your mouth started speaking from your heart, and you'll wonder to yourself, 'Where did that come from?' It was quite beautiful, actually. So the heart guidance may start appearing in your life in this way. And then, as you get used to it, you can tell that there's a holy voice which is speaking with you, full of love and full of a presence of peace, which is exactly the opposite of how the mind speaks to you. So as you deepen in your love for God, you will start to follow His voice as well.

So I would like to share one experience just to understand the mechanism of it. Like a very simple, trivial thing: we wanted to buy a car. So this sankalpa we are taking, I'm taking that I have to buy a car. Now once I have the sankalpa, then pros and cons of various types of cars within the budget, what it is, which is the best one—all that process starts taking place. And we landed up with one also: this is the best among the whole lot which is fitting into our budget. And yeah, then what happens? One fine day, we have almost given the advance also, and then we are going to book it. Yeah, then what has happened is he goes simply to charge the vehicle, the other car, and he finds some balloons and all, some inauguration taking place. He casually goes in and sees, then he finds some new model is being advertised there, and they are saying it is also within our budget. And we drop everything and we get it.

So this is that has to come to us, God's will. Like this process also took place in which our mind was involved, the process of which is good, which is not. So two things are here. One is, without taking my sankalpa, we will not move in the direction only. 'I have to buy a car'—this sankalpa has to come, then only we looked into that. Second thing is, what happened is not at all whatever we planned. From 15 days, whatever I worked, I did, is all gone to the drain. We landed up with something on the spot in a moment, and it got finalized and we brought it out. So that is according to God's will, we can say, because we are not making it. So how is the mechanism functioning? Like whenever we take sankalpa, and the mechanism which is there, is all God's will? The whole process is a God's will? We can see the last part of it as a God's will because there was no doership in that; we didn't do anything about it.

Okay, let's examine the mechanics of it. You said, 'I took a sankalpa.' How did you start taking the sankalpa? What was the first step?

First step is our car is old and it's going to be...

Okay, so your car became old. That you didn't do; it became old. Then what did you do to take the sankalpa?

So we said, 'Now we have to get another one.'

Okay, now this part, because we're really getting into the mechanics. You just said it, or a thought came first to someone, to one of you: 'The car is becoming old'?

The thought came.

The thought came. So who created that thought? Try to create your next thought yourself.

It comes. It just comes.

We don't know what is the raw material of thought, how to make it. We just feel like we are making the thought; actually, it just arises. Where does it arise from? From Consciousness itself, like everything else. Your thought arose from Consciousness. Then what happened in the mechanics? If no attention had gone to the thought, it wouldn't have become a sankalpa. It just came and went, like thousands of thoughts come. But attention went to it, and you gave some value, and you gave belief, which is value, isn't it? You gave it value. So that is the mechanics of sankalpa. Now what I am saying is, let the thought come. Attention will also go. If you try to control attention, it seems too difficult, you see. Attention also goes. You don't give belief to any thought, any vasana, any vritti. Don't give belief, don't value any thought. Yes. So learn that is called being empty. So let it come, let it go. In this way, you may or may not...

Thought come, but attention went to it and he gave some value. And you gave belief, which is value, isn't it? You gave it value. So that is the mechanics of Maya. Now what I am saying is: let the thought come. Attention will also go. If you try to control attention, it seems too difficult, you see. Attention also goes. You don't give belief to any thought, any vasana. Don't give belief, don't value any thought. Yes. So learn—that is called being empty. So let it come, let it go. In this way, you may or may not realize it, this is to free yourself from avidya. Because in the topic of even the car, you are taking yourself to be what? Even when you're discussing the topic of the car, you are taking yourself to be this person, this body-mind, isn't it? So that is ignorance, isn't it? That is the very definition of avidya. So don't do that. Remain empty.

Then the mind will come and say, 'I said to nothing will happen. You will become a vegetable, you see. People will think you are stupid, you are dumb.' You see, all that needs patience and courage to be empty like that. Be empty like that. Then you will find that you come in the presence of the Atma within. When you learn to be empty, then you can stay with His presence within ourself, whether you call it Holy Spirit or Atma or the Satguru presence, whatever you call it. Now you allow that one. Initially, it may feel like you're not hearing Him, He is not speaking to you, but you surrender and say, 'If anything has to move, then You move this mouth, You move these hands, You move these feet.' That is before, yeah, you allowed all these thought patterns to come and go, you not buying into any idea about anything, okay? You remaining empty.

Then the only intention you're carrying is that: 'You move me, God. You move me, Atma within.' So then you will notice that without this thought activity also, action happens. Of course, you may be astounded by it because you said, 'Oh, but without the sankalpa I could not buy that car or do...' But you will start noticing that just like plants are growing and flowers are forming and birds are flying—you see, they don't take sankalpas, 'We'll fly to the North' or 'We'll go this way.' They fly through the intelligence of God's presence. In the same way, your life will start moving, you see, unperturbed by what your mind is saying. You're moving now in the light of the presence.

Now this supreme intelligence called God may test us initially. May test us initially because we are expecting full solution, our life is solved. This sounds very simple, but the fact is that He will test your faith and love for Him to make sure that you're not doing it just out of convenience, that you truly love Him and your surrender is not just so that you don't have to take the trouble anymore, you see. And you may not move for a few days, weeks, but you have to trust Him, and that needs faith, you see. Car is getting older, no action is moving, so all these things happen. But you learn how to move only in His will; only He moves you.

So you try it out one day. See, I will not follow my mind's temptations about anything. I will let them go and I will move only when I feel the presence is moving my hands, or moving my mouth to say things, or moving my... tell me what happens that day. Because the mind will scare you and say, 'Oh, then you will just sit in bed all day.' But most have noticed that that doesn't happen. You have to experiment and see. Once you experiment and see, then you will find that there's a greater intelligence than our mind that is running this universe, including my life. Then we start moving closer and closer to God's presence because we have let go of the selfishness of the 'me'. The mind is always offering us mechanics about how to make this 'me' better, how to make my life better, all this 'me, me'. So to be free from this 'me', we have to let go of this mind.

Because all the sages have told us that the lane is too narrow. When there is 'me', there cannot be God; when there is God, there cannot be 'me'. So that is how our spirituality moves into practice. Otherwise, it remains a conceptual spirituality because we are not relying on Atma, Spirit, for anything. We are just learning things about it, isn't it? We are just learning things about it, but we have not truly learned how to start becoming spiritual. It is to allow Spirit to guide, Spirit to move. See, we are still being egoic, mental, without realizing it. Then our life gets transformed in that. Still have two years now.

Yeah, still have two years because I've been saying it takes two years. Because usually what I've seen is that my invitation to start praying, to deepening in our love for God, all of that is often met with frustration very quickly. Within a week, two weeks, people are just like, 'But it's not working. He's not coming. I don't feel guided, you see. I'm not being able to pray.' And this is symptomatic of the fast-food generation that we live in. I just feel like we are so used to ordering that, oh, you need any kind of food, within thirty minutes it can come on the app, you see. So we feel like, oh, we should just say 'Ram, Ram, Ram' three times and God should come. And it may happen, you see, but it may not happen. It's all... He knows best. He's always here. But when His presence can be tasted with the light, with the love, with the sweetness that we are expecting, He can't force His hand, see.

So it also, in the process, will also squeeze our arrogance out of us, squeeze our spiritual pride out of us, isn't it? And that is a beautiful squeezing because if it happened too quickly, it's very possible that we become Ravana-like very soon. You become very proud very soon. So although the insights may happen instantaneously—will happen instantaneously, they can happen only now—but when we look at the stream called life, it seems like we need a lot of patience, we need a lot of faith, isn't it?

So one thing I was coming to say before that is that's why I say that spirituality is not the inclusion of a new topic in our mind, that 'I now understand the spiritual topic, I've read this book, I've read all the Upanishads, I've read the commentaries by Shankara, I have done all of this,' you see. It is not that. It is a changeover of the operating system itself from head to heart. So unless that changeover starts happening, we've only started venturing into the spiritual journey; we've not really started. We start only when we learn to follow our heart, we learn to meet the Holy Spirit within ourselves. Without Spirit, no spirituality. No, it's only a duality.

Tough crowd today. Academic, not practical. It is like, masters say that the planets are revolving is on its own, only God is doing. But whether to come to satsang or not...

Sorry, one point on this is that we see that there is no agency here, no volition here, no choice-making here that is doing these things. So then we say, 'Ah, I am not doing it.' Then the rest of it we make a presumption: 'Then it must be God doing it,' isn't it? So then that must be the intellectual process, isn't it? It's a process of reasoning; it is not a process of insight, is it? So when we come to the process of insight, then you know in your heart that it is God who's doing it. You're not inferring through a process of negation, because 'I'm not doing it, I need to give the power to somebody higher, so my idea of that higher power is God.' So then we are just speculating. Because then you can't... other people may say, 'No, it's a million aliens living in some other planet.' Another may say, 'But this is just a dream that we are having.' Another may say that actually all of this is just AI, it's a video game. And we can't negate any of that because we don't know.

But when you come into your heart, your heart guidance that tells you that it is God's presence, it is God's life that you can trust. And using that shruti—what people, what sages heard from their heart in their deep contemplations—then the Vedas were written. All the greatest scriptures were written, you see. In the same process the Bible was written. If you look up the history of it, the scribes had one job, which is to follow what God was telling them in their heart while they were scribing the Bible. This is very well known about the Vedas. And in those Vedas they wrote about things which were so far ahead of their time. So what intelligence did they access then? This is God's intelligence, God's guidance. So we must learn to allow ourselves to become heartfelt, intuitive, moment to moment, rely on His presence within ourselves. And all guidance, all love, all peace will come from there. That is the journey of spirituality.

Feeling weird sensations in my body and it's being labeled as weakness and I need to eat.

Okay, but do you? I don't know. We have a sense about these things. It's like, if we relied on the intellect we would not know, is it? Like when this body fell sick like two weeks back, was it? So I just started feeling like there's something like a deeper infection than a usual cold or a usual... you know, sometimes you get these allergies. So somewhere you know. And this body, the sensations have been so intimately felt by us for so long that you get a sense about these things. So from your heart you can also get a sense about what it is, you see. Whether some food is needed or some rest is needed or it's fine, you see. You can rely on that.

So how does that translate? Before we can hear the shruti, as we were saying, is that we just allow. We remain in the heart and allow that to eat or not eat, allow that to unfold. But what you see sometimes what can happen is that we get into like a mental sort of... not that you're doing that, I'm just saying that this is a trick to watch out for. The mind will say, 'No, I have to wait.' So then that becomes a mental position. So we have to be empty even of that. Otherwise it'll make you into this... it's like that story, you know, very religious man, he was boating one day—I most of you may have heard this story—he was boating one day and then a storm came and he fell in the ocean, right? So then what he said is that, 'I have prayed to God all my life, God has to come and save me.' Huh?

So another boatman came first. He said, 'Come brother, I'll save you.' He said, 'No, no, God Himself will come and save me. You go,' you see. Boatman came, ship came, Coast Guard came, helicopter came, plane came. He said, 'No, no, no, no, God has to come and save me.' And this man drowned. On drowning he was very upset, you see. He's like, 'When I meet God I'm going to throw a tantrum.' So he threw a tantrum and said, 'I prayed to You all my life, You didn't come,' you see. So God said, 'First I came as the boatman, then I came in the ship, then I came in the Coast Guard, then I came in the helicopter, but you wanted it the way that you wanted it, see. So that is why you could not see Me in them.' So we must be careful of not making a new position out of it: 'I already determined how God's movement will happen through me, how God's voice will sound to me.' And in that we may miss it as it is unfolding. So allow yourself not to make any of these positions. Like remind yourself of the innocence of a child. That is the safest place.

Is like this unceasing prayer is not... it's not the same as innocence of a child?

Like it is the very much the same to pray unceasingly. If you carry any position, it's not possible.

That position, unceasing, is a position.

Well, in a way. So once you let go of all other positions, if this is the last one left, then we must leave that to hold on. If there are other positions that are... that's Guruji says, 'Don't shoot the sheep down.' Am I mixing it up? This boatman analogy, if the position is to pray unceasingly, the boat coming is this sensation, other...

No, no, you're confusing me. It's okay. Forget, forget. How does one pray unceasingly? Is it possible? So if your prayer means that you are saying the... Jesus prayer. So if you're, some of you using the Jesus prayer which is so beautiful, so you may say, 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Now bless my heart with the light of Spirit.' Now you may be saying it with your breath, you may be saying it using a mala, you may be saying it using your lips, you may be saying it in the mind.

This sensation other—no, no, you bring me. It's okay, forget, forget. How does one pray unceasingly? Is it possible? So, if your prayer means that you are saying the Jesus prayer, which is so beautiful—so you may say, 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Now bless my heart with the light of Spirit.' Now, you may be saying it with your breath, you may be saying it using a mala, you may be saying it using your lips, you may be saying it in the mind. It may have deepened so much that your heart has started saying it, and it may have deepened so much that it has become an inaudible prayer now, but just drenched in the presence of love so much, you know, that your heart is praying. But you're so much in His presence in your heart temple that you recognize the prayer is going on, but the words... don't rush into this, okay? As I'm saying it, I'm recognizing it's possible for the mind to become arrogant and rush into it. But you know only in your heart.

So, that form of prayer, when we get established in it, then that is when it becomes unceasing prayer. Because in the world, there will always come something. Your bell will ring and, you know, in that moment you may forget to pray; so it's not yet unceasing. So we are all moving towards that unceasing prayer which becomes a deeply beyond-a-japa japa, you see. So first we have to go through all these beautiful—it doesn't have to move in a linear way, but most of us will go through all this where your heart will just start praying on itself. So it's very almost unceasing now, but even then it may not be 100% constant. And when you're fully established in your heart temple and darshan is always palpable to you, this unperceivable shining light is in your inner eye all the time, then after, prayer becomes unceasing. And then for His joy, ajapa happens, outer prayer happens, because it is so joyful at all the layers, you see.

So that would seem so full of resistance and mechanical and difficult, and you see, 'Why do we have to do this? And can't we just be open and empty?' and all that then becomes the greatest joy in our life. You see, there will come a time soon—and it may not be even as long as two years—where if I come to you in satsang and say, 'Okay, now you stop praying,' you will say, 'No, I love it so much. What are you saying?' It's so... so this union in the heart is the sweetest way to live, way to be, beyond anything that I can say in words. So this simple-sounding practice, which is giving so much resistance to so many of you, but reducing, you will see, will lead to your union with the Divine within yourself.

One thing that is coming to say is that remember that prayer is more about listening than about saying. Make yourself available to Him more as a listener than the speaker of the prayer. The speaking brings you to His light, but your job is to stand in His light and to listen to Him. So first you recognize that the words of your prayer make you feel that you're coming into His light, and the words will go on, but it's not just a monologue, you see. It will seem like I'm saying, 'Have mercy on me, bless me with the light of Spirit,' you see, and it's just about me saying that. But you realize it's not; those words are just the catalysts for the communion to happen, you see. And really what is happening is that the words become just like the murmur, and actually what you're doing is you're standing in His light and you're listening to Him. Now, you're not listening necessarily to His words yet, but you're listening to His presence. So when we are in His presence, we are actually listening to His presence. How to listen into His presence? Just by making ourselves fully available, by being open.

So the Atma will, the Holy Spirit will guide us on all of these things, you see. It's a beautiful exploration, it's a beautiful adventure leading to such a holy communion and the union with Him. But the process of prayer is not one-sided communication. So don't worry, we'll deepen in all of this understanding as we go along. Most of it can't really be spoken, and maybe most of it should not be spoken because it'll take away the joy of our journey. The speaking must be just to remove the mental obstacles from the path, because I want you all to taste these things for yourselves, to come to these insights, you see, to come to the sweetness. Actually, also, nothing that I can speak can block that from happening, you see. The sweetness will not go away because you heard it somewhere.

So then we are so drenched in our heart and we cannot tell which is me and which is Him, and that becomes our resting place as much as His resting place. Then our prayer truly becomes unceasing. As I once said, initially it will seem like you're taking bitter medicine, you see. This bitter medicine will become sweeter and sweeter and sweeter and sweeter. And once you start tasting that sweetness, follow the fragrance of that presence, then you will never want to leave it. So that initial starting momentum is what I'm providing, that initial thrust. But stay with it even if it feels difficult, if it feels mechanical.

Yes, Father, you keep saying that the heart loves to pray.

Yes, ajapa would not happen if a heart did not love to pray. Then our mind doesn't love to pray, that's for sure, right? So there comes a point where clearly you will tell the prayer is going on. There's like an echo chamber within yourselves starting from the heart; it's percolating through everything, arising from there. I'm so excited for our journey together like this because all of you will unfold in these ways and you will discover your own intricacies and beauty in the process. But since it's very transformative work, the mind is bound to be fearful and resistive for some time. So that's why don't check on progress for two years. Don't say, 'But Father said heart will do it,' so you're expecting next week the heart will do it, you see. Then Father says you'll have union with the Divine, then next week after that, union with the Divine. You don't rush into it because the ego wants to get involved very fast. We don't realize it, we want to say, 'I so want to get into that,' but that's a disservice to yourself. It's a disservice to yourself because this is the journey that if you ended up directly at the destination, you would say, 'Oh, I missed out on such a beautiful journey.' So you enjoy the sweetness, enjoy even for now maybe the resistances, deepen more and more and more.

So, um, so one day I went—I remember this, Father, what you said that, you know, your heart loves to pray—and I was doing the prayer and I went to sleep. It was so true, Father, it was so sweet, you know, the prayer, and I could feel it even in my sleep, Father. As soon as I woke up, I could just feel that the heart is just praying, just so much sweetness.

And most of you will start to notice that your prayer automatically becomes your first thing when you wake up, you see, and it starts to really deepen. Then that's already such a relief because what was the way of the past? The mind bombards you with thoughts and worries and anxieties and things to be done and accomplished in the world, and that gets replaced. You start with the prayer, it stays with you. So how does it deepen like that? More and more you will find that if you end with that, you see, if your prayer is the last thing before deep sleep comes, then it doesn't end even in sleep state. And then you feel like you can't tell when you were in deep sleep, when you were in God's presence, when you were in the waking state. So all this starts to merge as one prayer itself.

Like I... okay, so I'll see in sometime. There is almost one year that you gave us. Has it been a year? May... what?

Yes. Wow. It seems like three months or something. I keep saying it's only been a few weeks.

It's been almost a year. Almost, not exactly, but almost. It seems like it. I have... you must have checked, of course. I have written it down and shared with someone else, and that's in June 8th.

I just keep saying it's just been a few weeks we started. Just been a few... can't be. Yeah, I know that you're actually right, but doesn't seem like it. Okay, so two years from this point, okay? Yeah. Oh, it's been quite some time. Wow. How many of you feel like it's been last week? True, it's true what he's saying is fact, but how does it feel to all? But actually, now that you see it, even the texture of how we speak about it now, the texture of how all of you are meeting it is vastly different from how it just started. So yes, it may have taken that much time, but it is a bit of a surprise because somebody said the other day three months, and I said three months? No, it feels like just a few weeks. But apparently it's much more, almost a year.

The initial weeks I remember it was more about to be obedient. Just show us. It all came in this synchronized, symphonic way, you know. We discussed the word 'sin' for six months.

Oh yeah, six months? Oh wow. I feel like two, three weeks. Six months? So then the Mother came to help me because some of you were like, 'What does this guy really know?' Then I got some help from higher authorities. Oh, okay. Okay, this is Grace helping this boy also. Anandamayi Ma, this is how Atma works. He sends all the assistance when needed. So God knew that nobody's going to listen to this foolish man, so let's make some YouTubes of Anandamayi Ma. It's very helpful here also because to get reassurance from these great sages... like I have been telling all of you that my heart loves to pray, your heart loves to pray, and that day we heard some very famous Christian father say, 'Your heart loves to pray.' So I quickly sent it to everyone. I was not just making it up, okay? It helps, it helps because a mind can make resistances. So the more credible sources you can hear it from, the more helpful it'll seem. And it also, I have to say, helps me keep on the right track in the sense that it's reassuring to me also. Because I said this and I'd never heard anyone say that, but when I heard it from this sage, then it was very reassuring that I'm leading you kids in the right way.

Ah yes, yes, that was the main point. No, there's a confusion about that initially with the heart loving to pray with the Adas. And so initially when it came, I did not know which one to prefer, to pick, because I didn't really have any particular form of prayer. Then I, with my past experience with Ram, I will start with Ram. I did that for some time, then I switched to Jesus later. Again later, I stick with Ram again. After maybe a few months, again I... but I still continue when I switch to... kind of too much of switching. So I was like, I wanted something to, like, you know, have a little more connection. So I picked up a chaupai that we used to have in my childhood, okay, which is a four-liner. So what happened in that process is it kind of stayed. So it started happening now. Now it happens.

And it's not a competition. Use that, whatever is taking deeper hold. I was saying the other day that you can use favorite words from your favorite scripture, you can use... the point is to turn to Him. The method is not that important. It's only important in the sense that if something is taking hold now, you see. Initially, we all will experiment a bit. We will say, 'Should I try this? Should I try that?' For some it has always been clear; for others we've been experimenting a little bit like that, you see. Once we find that something is taking hold, that means the roots are forming, you see. Now once roots are forming, then don't fall for the mental resistance and things; then allow them to grow, to deepen more and more. You don't want to keep uprooting the plant, you see. It has to now become a tree. If you feel like you used a prayer and it has the word Krishna in it, it is good enough. You don't even need to worry about it because Krishna is present in that prayer. And if you find that you've been resonating with it and it was happening, it's starting to happen automatically, then at this point I would not say, unless there's a strong feeling, I would not say uproot this one and change again. Few weeks back you mentioned that out of the phases, the most difficult one... no, not in that way, okay.

If you feel like you used a prayer and it has the word Krishna in it, it is good enough. You don't even need to worry about it because Krishna is present in that prayer. And if you find that you've been resonating with it and it was happening, it's starting to happen automatically, then at this point I would not say, unless there's a strong feeling, I would not say approve this one and change again.

A few weeks back you mentioned that out of the phases, the most difficult one—

No, not in that way. Okay. So now that you have your prayer, you will see that the long prayer, if it's like three or four lines, you will notice that when you're at work and in a meeting and things like that, you are not able to do the whole thing because you need that—it still needs some focus. Although it may start to become a japa, you see, because that focus is not present, then we end up leaving the whole thing, you see. So for that, at least in the ADS ones, we have the arrow prayer. We have Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram Ram, Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna. So that seems easier. So even when your boss is talking to you at work, internally you're going, without—you don't have to let him know—but you're focused on Ram within.

Then sometimes it could even be more where you have to speak, where you are saying something and all that, so then it feels like there is no attention for this process, no focus for this process to happen. Then you just place yourself in your heart. Feel His presence. Feel His this thing. So let that Ram happen once, and then you're just in your heart, and then the meeting is happening, you're speaking, speaking, speaking. Then you get a bit of a break, let the Ram happen again. So in that way, now what was happening is that there was a tendency from the mind to pick—like I've said, even that is prayer, it is beautiful prayer—that even in the midst of all of this, you're remembering Ram once, twice, three times. But then that the mind uses to say, 'Okay, now I'm just watching some TV or some movie, you know, which I'm not really into also, but I just say Ram like that once every five minutes.' And you know, then that is oversimplifying it, you see, because that is the time where you could give it your full, you see, the full long prayer. So that's what I meant, that don't make it too simple in that way.

For example, if you're chanting some verses to Krishna, but you're in situations where you're doing some engaged work on the computer or in a meeting, then you can see Krishna Krishna Krishna Krishna, use a shorter version. And even if there's no room for that, then just Krishna in that way. But if you're just not involved in something which is that compelling, that much focus or attention, and you're just saying Krishna, then it's not really praying. Then that's just 'tick in the box' as we call it in the corporate world. This is—we are doing prayer, but we are not really committing what we have fully to offer, you see. Because in those situations where your manager is speaking to you, you're responding about some data, some work and things like that, then the best you can offer at that time is to say Krishna once every five minutes probably, you see, or every one minute or every five minutes. But in the situation where it's some activity happening which doesn't really need so much of your attention and then you're just being very half-hearted about it, then that is not—that's why I said pick the one that is the most difficult but not impossible. If it becomes impossible, then no prayer is happening, you see.

Based on your experimenting, you will see. Then you will see that that which seemed most difficult but not impossible gets simpler and simpler because, as you're saying, it takes on a life of its own. So it's just going on, going on, going on. So it becomes easier and easier and more natural and more natural.

Can I chant it once for you?

Of course, please.

It's good to clarify these things. I'm very glad you did. So Father, on the power of the prayer and japa: in a couple of saints' experiences, like Yogi Ji and his Guru Ramdas Ji, they chanted endlessly for a period. I believe for Yogi Ji, he chanted day and night for a week, and it was a mantra that Ramdas Ji had given him. And after many years of trial through Atma Gyan and with many gurus, that was the key that unlocked full realization for him. So is that something you would—I mean, would you say that that's what we should do endlessly? Try to do it all the time? I mean all the time, day and night? Yeah, really take it to another level.

Just yes. I've been saying that, just all the time. That's what I heard from another also, who said that, 'Are you trying to be open all the time, empty all the time, or praying all the time?' These are the only two options. That's what I've been saying. Yeah, both will lead to the same. Both will lead to the same. But you may start to find that the path of prayer actually most may start to find much simpler.

After the ADS yesterday, actually the pain started from the cervical up the neck here and sinuses. Just reporting it. I think the layer breath—I can continue without the layer, I can continue, right?

Yeah, thank you. He'll take care of all of this also. Thank you. His presence in your heart is the one that is running this whole universe. Stay with it. With that faith, all these things will come. Obstacles will come. Many obstacles come, but be heartfelt about how you are dealing with them also. He will guide you. So also that is important because we must not become proud about how to deal with them, that 'No, no, but I will do like this only, I will do like that.' He will guide you. We are becoming—all of us are becoming sensitive in our hearts. All of us were so stuck earlier in our minds, wanting to be right, wanting to know. All of us are becoming more innocent and simple and open and listening. With that sensitivity, He will keep us on the right track.

So, okay, if there's still some confusion about this, what am I saying? Start your day with ADS. And if ADS is not appealing to you still after nine months, then at least whatever you're doing, start your day with the presence of God. Whichever practice, whichever process, anything that brings you to His presence, start your day with that. That is really important. It is really important. And I saw a video by Guruji also where he's saying the same thing in a different way, which is so beautiful to hear, that we must start—he's prescribed you can do that of course, fifteen minutes—and come to the presence of God. But whichever way, meet God first thing in your morning. Don't start engaging with things and people and phones and things like that till you can confirm God's presence is there.

Then open all the time, empty all the time, praying all the time. And both may seem different for now; go with whatever resonates with you the most. So just pray, pray, pray all the time. How to pray all the time? I've told you that if there's something which is not so important in the realm of the world, which doesn't need so much focus and attention, do the long prayer. If something takes your focus and attention but you still have some, do the arrow prayer. At the end, if you're really involved in something, deeply involved, then attention is deeply into it, then that is also a form of prayer anyway, you see. But still remind yourself to say the name of God once every few minutes, every two or three minutes, every five minutes, you see.

But when you're fully engaged in something, that's a prayerful practice anyway. That's like mindfulness happening anyway, right? And if you're so deeply engaged in something, then just remain empty through it all. And in that emptiness, you will find that your heart is full of love, His presence is palpable. So then you remain head-empty, heart-full through all of this. But especially when the words of the prayer, either in the form of conscious praying or it happening on its own—a japa—are not apparent to you, then at least remain full-hearted as that activity is happening. Then the prayer will deepen and deepen from lips to mind to heart, and then such beautiful union will unfold for all of you that that becomes our unceasing prayer, effortless at some point of time. But initially, it will seem like effort is needed. And that initially, I'm saying don't check on progress for two years.

So now the day routine is clear. We are putting God first, and God like 99%. And if to be empty all the time your temperament is just not devotional in that way, then just inquire. Spend your day in inquiry. Find out really who you are. The same way where, depending on how much focus and attention you have available, put that all into your inquiry. And although the way I presented it seems like this is secondary, yeah, it's both are the same. Because either way, you will not fall for ego. Either way, you will not fall for selfishness, for the mind, and your life will be transformed into the way of the heart.

Initially, you may experiment with it and try one day try the inquiry, one day try the prayer. But once something starts taking root, like I was telling Prakashala, if it starts to take root, then the mind will try to resist it also. Then you have a sense of it and something is deepening. And the way to check is it starts to happen almost automatically. Then the mind really gets scared and says, 'No, now you change back to Ram or change to you.' Then no, no, then stay with it. If you find yourself inquiring, looking into who you are naturally, then don't rush to change. If you find yourself praying a particular prayer naturally, then don't rush with change. It's starting to take root, and it's not so important the specific words as long as God is fully being remembered. Clear? Clear.

Most of satsang I want in the future to become just about what is stopping you, what is getting in your way. We've spoken enough about conceptual things and the mechanics of things and all of that. Now it is time to put our spirituality into practice, into it becoming a way of life. Very easily all of us can digest discussing spirituality, but if we don't live it, then we've not really become spiritual. Yeah. So the question, if I missed it, ADS was ten or fifteen times repeating? No, so like twenty minutes, around twenty minutes to half an hour, whatever time that would take. So that is the morning thing to come to the presence of God, and then to remain in that. We can make it a continuous practice.

So whatever you are following, whether it is inquiry, whether it is invitation, whether it is to remain empty as Guruji is guiding us, but that has to become constant. The path of remaining empty, the path of jnana inquiry, the path of love—whichever you pick, become wholehearted and dedicate your entire day to that. Yeah. So this one, this is from a text: 'Similarly, Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection, the 17th-century Carmelite lay brother and author of the spiritual classic The Practice of the Presence of God, exemplifies the transformative power of unceasing prayer and habitual remembrance of God. In his conversations and letters, Brother Lawrence emphasizes the importance of maintaining a constant awareness of God's presence even amidst the most mundane tasks and occupations. He writes: We must establish ourselves in a sense of God's presence by continually conversing with Him. It is a shameful thing to quit His conversation to think of trifles and fooleries.' And what are trifles and fooleries? Everything except conversation with Him, except being with Him, you see. In relation to that, everything is trifle, everything is foolery.

Do we have any free will? It feels like we don't.

So you in reality have all the free will. You as this—when it seems like you are a mixture of your reality and personhood—you have the ability to turn to God, to let go of your mind. You have that much power. So in your reality, you are the highest, so all intelligence, all doing, all will must be yours.

Everything except conversation with Him, except being with Him, you see, in relation to that, everything is trifles and fooleries. Everything is foolery.

Do we have any free will? It feels like we don't.

In reality, you have all the free will. When it seems like you are a mixture of your reality and personhood, you have the ability to turn to God, to let go of your mind. You have that much power. In your reality, you are the highest, so all intelligence, all doing, all will must be ascribed to you. In the spiritual path, we are going through the process of recognizing that we are this highest reality, but there is personhood still left in us. In that process, we have the ability to change ourselves by turning to God instead of turning to the mind.

If purely you take yourself to be a person, this bundle of flesh and blood, then all idea of free will and agency is nonsense. If you just take yourself to be this body-mind, then you're just a leaf which is moving by the breeze. God, God—everything is done by His will. If you see that you are Consciousness, which is the light of all things, but you are also involved in personhood, then you have the power to turn towards God more and more, more and more. And then when you recognize that you are Consciousness itself, all this belongs to you; all is your will. So it depends on what the perspective, what the standpoint of the question is, right? Love you all so much. Bless you all.

So Father, being open and empty meaning letting go of every thought to come and go?

Yes, to be conceptually empty. To just be open means to allow everything to come. To be empty means to not hold on to anything, not grasp on to anything, which by 'anything' means these notions in the head.