The Living Being of God Is Within Us - 1st April 2024

Nanak Ji was weighing some grain or some rice and he was giving it to... because his father had told him to go run a shop, so he was running the shop. So apparently he had to give this one customer some thirteen portions of rice. So what happened? He counted from one in Hindi or Punjabi, and he counted from one and then he got to thirteen, which means 'yours'—Tera. Thirteen, Tera. So the word 'Tera' in Hindi and Punjabi means 'yours.' So then he got to thirteen and then kept giving it, saying, 'Tera, Tera, Tera.' So he kept giving it. So apparently there was a detective from the king's court, because this was a king's shop, so he went and complained. He said, 'There is this man in your shop, he's giving people too much. So he's apparently... there must be a scheme, they must be stealing.' So then they went and measured the goods in the godown and they found that nothing is missing. Not one grain is less.

So that 'yours, yours, yours'—everything if you can surrender to God, it is yours. That is the path of surrender. And as we start to surrender in this way, we recognize that it is not feeling like a sacrifice anymore. There is a deepening of love. And as that deepening continues to happen, then it's a sheer joy to surrender. So to see God in everything and to surrender everything to God is the path of Bhakti. And out of love, to serve each other, all our brothers and sisters. When it can seem like in the beginning that the notion of the Holy Light within ourselves seems too far-fetched because this world seems too real, and even if it doesn't seem far-fetched, it seems far too difficult, then we can deepen in our love for our brothers and sisters in the world and learn to give our love, everything that we have at our disposal, full-heartedly. We want to serve our brothers and sisters more than to serve the 'me.' That is the path of selfless service or Karma Yoga.

All three are the end of the selfish narratives of the mind. You want to find out truly, sincerely who you are, or you are falling deeply in love with God and surrendering your life and servitude to Him, or you want to serve your brothers and sisters in this world—truly, truly want to do that. The mind is not going to like any of these. So we have to come to the end of thought in all ways that lead to your true life. And without the assistance of the... without the guidance and the privilege of being a disciple of the Satguru within, the notion of coming to the end of thought will just remain notional. And even if it is possible, why would you want to do it the more difficult way when you have a holy guide within your heart to help you? You don't even have to endure Bangalore traffic to go to a Satsang, then why would you want to do it by yourselves?

Yes. Yeah. Well, it's an interesting question because you said there is a belief coming up that it is a sacrifice, you see. But a belief doesn't come up; it's always a thought that comes up. It becomes a belief only by your... with your permission. So belief doesn't come up. The thought comes that 'this is a sacrifice.' The thought comes. Where... how does it become a belief? I believe it is so. You provide the belief. So can someone or something force you to provide the belief? So the thought comes and we have to come to the end of thought. What particularly seems like a sacrifice?

I can add on a bit if you like. So what happens is that once you come to the discipleship of the Atma within, then you are handing over your life to the Atma, the Satguru presence within. Truly, we cannot fake it. We cannot just do it lip service and say, 'My life is yours.' You see, that is going to be tested. You will find that there are moments where you don't have the answers. So what is happening is that there's a sense of or an idea of insecurity which you may end up believing in, handing over everything to that which you do not understand. Because nobody can ever understand the Atma. Nobody can ever understand the Holy Spirit. So to hand over to that which we cannot understand or fathom at all to the mind is a big risk, and therefore it is a sacrifice. But the good thing is actually that that is the only safety. What seems like a sacrifice to our mind is actually our only safety.

It feels as an offering, yeah. And the offering is natural, but mind makes out the sacrifice.

In a way it is an offering. In a way it is an offering where the child has to willingly come back from the play. And most children come back from the playground after they're really tired or their friend pushed them and they, you know, got hurt on their knees or something like that. So then they turn towards God. Satsang is an invitation or a provocation or a push so that you willingly let go of your life and hand it over to God's presence, which is the Atma. Don't wait for suffering to come. How? We are suffering. All of us are suffering in some way. But don't wait for it to become unbearable before we turn to God. So we must make the offering of our life to God even if it does seem like a sacrifice at the moment. Because when we are really suffering a lot, then it won't feel like a sacrifice. Then it will start to feel like, 'I need a refuge, please accept me. There's nothing meaningful I have anyway.'

And what are we really sacrificing? Mostly just our individual will. What I want, what I want to do, what I want to achieve, what I want to get. And we are saying, 'What You want, that is the only thing that is important.' But that may seem like a sacrifice because we were hoping to have a happy relationship with God, you know, compromise 50/50. 'I want this, what do You want? Let's negotiate, let's do the deal, and let's agree that this much of my life is mine and this much of my life is Yours.' But let's not push it too far either way. But when you really start to look at it, you notice that all of your life has to be surrendered.

This weekend was very... this week was all about Good Friday and... hello? Yeah. So, and Friday the Ramacharitmanas... it was Shabri Ma with Ram Ji. You'll probably see that. Okay, it was so beautiful. So the story goes like Shabri was an adivasi woman and her family wanted her to get married at a very early age, so she just ran away from the house. And then she meets some Rishi in an ashram, I think the name was Rishi Matang or something. And those days, a woman and that too adivasi... so she just surrenders. So everybody around her are really disturbed about the situation, but the Rishi says, 'I see the true Bhakti.' And then the story says that the Rishi was about to die, and then he said that, 'Since I am very impressed with your Bhakti, I will instantly give you Brahma Gyan and take you with me.' Then she says that, 'I don't want this shortcut. I'm privileged as a lady and a tribal woman to be with you, and I want this for everyone in the world coming home.' Then he says that, 'Just wait for Vishnu's Ram. Ram will come and you just build your hut here. And once He comes, your Gyan or Brahma Gyan will be there since then.' So it shows that for every day she's putting flowers on the path and with full trust and preparing food. That Ber and all... it was really wonderful to see about that.

That's really good. She's one of the three Bhaktas of Ram, say like Bharat, Shabri, and Hanuman. This was really good. Incidentally, Ishana also went and visited the same place where Shabri Ma met Ram Ji at the similar time as the episode came. So these stories, these examples from our history of such pure devotion, that here is one who spends her entire life for one Lila of the Lord. And if I say it'll take two years for your prayer to settle, then we start worrying. But the good thing is that it provides the momentum itself. The Bhakti itself provides a momentum to deepen in the Bhakti. You notice that that which was very resistive a few months back, for some of you, it is starting to become a joy—your prayer, your chanting, your inquiry—because the demand was for it to become unceasing. There was a lot of fear initially, there was a lot of skepticism initially. Now you are finding that there is no better use of your time. And by His grace, everything that is meant to happen, happens. So we can keep playing this video game life with all its stories and ups and downs, or we can find refuge truly in the true life, which is only Tera.

Back for some of you, it is starting to become a joy—your prayer, your chanting, your inquiry—because the demand was for it to become unceasing. There was a lot of fear initially; there was a lot of skepticism initially. Now you're finding that there is no better use of your time, and by His grace, everything that is meant to happen happens. So we can keep playing this video game life with all its stories and ups and downs, or we can find refuge truly in the true life, which is only true because His light is present. The point of coming to the Atma is not to just come to Atma Darshan or Atma Gyan and then just leave it at that and go about our life in the old way. This is to come to God's presence and hand over our life fully to that. It is not about experience chasing. It doesn't matter how many times you have seen yourself as pure awareness, how many times you have come to the Darshan of the Atma within, of this being presence; if you're still attached to your own will, if you're still attached to your own will, then you're just using spirituality to make yourself better or special, or happier or peaceful.

And I realize that that is the way spirituality in today's world has been sold. This is how the notion of enlightenment, freedom, has been sold: that you will become the Übermensch once you come to enlightenment. This is the superhuman, the idea of the free one, the enlightened one, in whichever construct we look at it. So, Nietzsche used this word—I'm not pronouncing it well, but Übermensch is how I read it. It is the exact opposite of that. It is the end of specialness. It's a radical humility which is authentic, not just a put-on. It's coming to the end of wanting and the true beginning of giving. It is to fall so deeply in love with His presence in our heart that a moment of disconnection feels like an exile, a vanvas, not the other way around—that 'I'm so tired from my day or my life, I need to spend a few minutes centering myself.' These are the usual notions of spirituality today, and maybe compared to nothing at all, maybe they are better. Maybe really the idea is to switch out, transform your life completely from the way of the head, from the way of selfishness, to the way of the heart, which is the way of love.

That then is the beginning of our true spiritual life, and you can truly authentically say to God, 'I don't want anything except to be with You.' That is when our spirituality begins, and truly it never ends. It only gets deeper and deeper and more and more insightful, more and more heartfelt and sweeter and sweeter. And the gifts that you receive in your true authentic spirituality are unmatched in the world. It's usually not helpful to spell them out too much because we become mental about it and we start making benchmarks out of them. That is where you need to just trust that the gifts of God are much higher than any gifts that you can receive in the world.

Father, this question is somewhat from a sense of wonder. Yeah, so Ishana came and she gave that keychain, Hanuman. I didn't get... so when I was sitting here when she told me Hanuman, there was a thought that came inside me that Hanuman and that love came inside me, that Hanuman is inside and same thing as the presence that I have. And after that, the mind continues with its own imagination. So, how farther that...?

Okay, so let's pause here for a moment. What makes Hanuman, Hanuman? What makes Hanuman, Hanuman? I feel like there's a pivotal moment in the life, in the story in the Ramayana, where Sita Ji, she gives him her very precious necklace, precious pearls, very beautiful necklace as a gift for all the help that he provided to her. So Hanuman says, 'Oh, this? What do I do with this? Can I eat it?' So he just breaks it and starts eating the beads. And so then Sita gets a bit upset: 'You're disrespecting my gift, and it's so valuable for me, you're just making fun of it.' And anyway, it becomes like a family drama of some sort. So then what happens is that Hanuman, to prove his love for Ram and Sita, it is said that he opens his heart, and there only Ram and Sita are residing. And most of us who have seen photos of Hanuman or statues, sculptures of Hanuman, have seen this. Some even do it in Rishikesh, it's like mechanized and all of that.

So it's beautiful if you take it literally, but even if you can't take it literally, the premise of the story is that it was shown to everyone that in his heart there was no 'me,' there was only Ram. And so that is what makes Hanuman. That is the heart of a true Bhakta, where God has completely taken over their heart, completely taken over their life, and all the love is coming from God and is going to God. So more than anything else, more than all the superpowers and abilities, you see, Hanuman is Hanuman for his unquestionable Bhakti and love for God. Also, it is worth noting that I just found out actually—so strange that I just found out from the program—but the word Ram literally means the light of the Atma within. To have Ram in our hearts is a very natural thing to say. The light of the Atma within is itself the literal meaning of the word Ram. So when we say, 'Bless our hearts with the light of spirit or the light of Atma,' we're looking for Ram and His light to constantly prevail in our life, to remain in our life.

So, are we committed to this new way of life where nothing really has to change externally, although it may? There's no guarantee. When I say this, I don't mean it as a guarantee; I only mean it as an invitation to an inner transformation of which, if anything changes externally, it's just a byproduct. Are we willing to follow the will of His presence in our heart? And I'm reassuring you that it may feel scary, but it is the only safety. There is no other safety in the world. What keeps us safe right now? What do we rely on for security? Mostly we are reliant on a lie, but that's just a house of cards; it can be blown away at any point of time. And most of us realize that and come to Satsang before we realize that. Rare one comes... we've already seen that what we took to be our plan and our security, our life, that can be shed in minutes, hours, days. Then we start looking for the true refuge. It is only to be found in the love of God, in the light of God.

Father, that is such a strong—not a thought, but it's really strong—that there's God inside me.

Yes. Now, how is it that belief... very, very important. Sorry, I'm stopping you again; I realized I did it earlier. So for a long, long time, even when we consider ourselves spiritual, we don't really take it literally that God's presence is inside. Truly, the living being of God is within ourself. It's a true statement, not a poetic one, not a romantic one, not a fantasy. It's more factual than the appearance of this universe. God lives within. The reality of ourselves, His being, is here. So as we turn within, our mind is very scared of meeting that, coming to a true meeting with His presence. So we keep avoiding it. As I was saying the other day as well, see, because this fact we want to deny like the elephant in the room. We say, 'Oh, there's a lizard there, let's take care of that. There's some ants walking towards the sweet.' But we are just denying the elephant in the room. You're looking at the tiny things, missing the main fact, which is God's presence. So that, if you're meeting with wonder, with awe, with reverence, it's very good. It's very good. There is God here within yourself.

Be one, Father. So, I felt we are so foolish to give power to the mind when this is true.

Exactly. That is the foolishness that I'm talking about. And when I say that I'm so foolish, I'm saying it in this context. And it's very true that while He is here, there are many times where I'm still preoccupied with things of delusion. What? Today is the Fool's Day? Okay, so today is my day. Pass back. See that, just put it on.

Jai Guru. There are some thoughts which are like, it is easy to let go; they are not affecting us much. So it is easy to let... okay, I don't want this pair of t-shirt or pair of jeans or whatever. Yeah. But there are some desires, like basic desires of our body or some desires, it's very difficult to let go. Maybe it is from past lives or... so how to...?

Just do your best. Don't... I know it sounds simplistic, you're expecting a deeper answer, but some are easy. But the ones which are easy for you may not be that easy for someone else, is it? So the thoughts by themselves are not easy or difficult; it is the value that we have ascribed to them in the past. Is it that the conditions that we have that make them easy or difficult? So you start with the easy ones, the little difficult ones, and the little more difficult ones. Don't let go of the most difficult and the impossible ones; then those will become easier and easier. But in this fact that somehow it's impossible to let go of, don't not let go of the others. Start like that. Because all we can give is our best. The impossible only God can do. So that we have to wait for His grace anyway. With full sincerity, wholeheartedly, just follow and give it the best that you have. The rest He will provide.

One child said—we were talking about the Hanuman story—so she says on the chat, 'I wonder if I open my heart like that, what would show up?' That is what the essence of the story is: to check for ourselves, who have we given our heart to? Is it mostly to 'me,' to the 'me,' or to Ram? Even our spirituality, who is it for? Who are we serving? Many times what we're doing is we are consuming the poison, having the antidote; consuming the poison, having the antidote. That becomes a... in the sense that we want something for 'me.' Our spirituality is also 'me, me, me.' See? Then we try not to believe our thoughts, and we are so full of self-concern that we can't do it. And yet, by coming to Satsang, by listening to, being reminded of God, it is bound to help in some way. It continues to be a loop for maybe lifetimes, we can't say. So don't inhale this poison of 'me.' It's so scary. And you see, sometimes the idea of what we're afflicted with is scary, and bitter medicine seems scarier, but it's for our own good. Not to be in denial of what is our diagnosis. When you go to a doctor, you say, 'No, just tell it to me straight. Don't hide it from me.'

I feel like I'm still answering Sonali's question. He always gives us questions like the whole Satsang becomes the answer. What is the beginning of a true life? What is the meaning of a true life? End of thought. With the end of thought, for God's sake. Why is it that many beautiful and famous teachers, their pointers end up just remaining like good intellectual exercise and doesn't become a true spirituality? Because spirit is missing. And I hear almost... coming. How do I know that I truly love God? You know in your heart. Truly to know anything is only in the heart, intuitively.

I don't live like that. So then how does... how do the two things correlate? Like, I don't always live like that. How does... like, I don't always live like I love God. Exactly. So then it's not loving God. I don't understand this at all, Father. Sorry, it might sound like a...

So I can't say I love God. Okay. I know this feeling, you see, because the confirmation of my foolishness comes from the same point. When I say that I'm very foolish, it is the time that I recognize that I was not loving God. Instead of loving God, I was involved with this realm of delusion. Really, I am saying I don't know if I love God. I don't know what I'm doing inside. Be more suspicious if somebody came to me and said, 'But I really fully love God.' Is it to recognize that our love is still that of a beginner? I doubt if I love, I don't even know, and I wonder what I'm doing in Satsang. Like, I have to come to Satsang, I know that, but I don't know if I love God. So it's... I can't say truly, I can't say. Yeah. And I'm not going to argue with that point because can I really say, 'Oh, I really love God'? There are moments where I say that, but what is to truly love?

What I'm doing inside would be more suspicious if somebody came to me and said, 'But I really fully love God.' Is it to recognize that our love is still that of a beginner?

I doubt if I love. I don't even know, and I wonder what I'm doing in satsang. Like, I have to come to satsang, I know that, but I don't know if I love God. So I can't say truly, I can't say. Yeah, and I'm not going to argue with that point because can I really say, 'Oh, I really love God'? There are moments where I say that, but what is to truly love? How do you say that, Father? Like, I doubt everything. So if I look at my day and if I make a conclusion from that, yeah, because all I want to do is listen to satsang, all I want to do is listen to prayer, but that is not a confirmation of... no, not out of force, don't worry.

So that which we do willingly, is it without a force? Why do we do it? We love it. But so that means I love God. So if my son goes to play football at 6:00 a.m. in the morning, whereas he would not have woken up before 8:00 or 9:00 otherwise, and nobody forced him to go, nobody's telling him 'You must play,' that is a way of saying that he loves football, you see. So if you spend your day in remembrance of him—and again, I'm not trying to convince you, I'm just giving you the signs, you see—if you spend your day, most of your day or a lot of your day, in remembrance of something or someone, then you would say that you are in love with that one, unless it is a fearful remembrance. It is not. What do we love? That which becomes more and more naturally enjoyable to us in our heart, isn't it? Hanuman Ji would have said, he would have said that when we start deepening in our love for God, then we start enjoying turning towards him more and more naturally. So you keep turning towards him.

I'll make the report card on your behalf because every time you say 'love God,' I doubt it, every single... but that's what I'm saying. Like, my report would be like, yeah, all I want to do by myself is just... is it me? I feel like... so, but when like I'm doing the prayer, I'm not doing it out of joy or I'm not... it's not like many, many times I'm not with the prayer. Many, many times this feels like force. Many, many times I want to stop it. Much less compared to... the contrast is quite high, right?

And that's how all of us are, just beginners. Yeah, but there are moments when the prayer just becomes live.

It's very less compared to... and compared to a year ago or five years ago or ten years ago. So we just have to deepen in this way. When you say bhakti or... I don't... I'm sorry, I'm just... I feel like so basic right now. But it's when you say surrender, is it out of joy or out of force? I don't know. But yeah, if you say you want anything out of this world more, or you want God more, I would say I want God more. But a big 'but'—that's not love.

It is. I'm just kidding, I'm just messing with you. Anyone who can say that 'I want God more than I want this world,' there must be some love there at least.

I do. I'm underplaying it so that it doesn't become like egoic. No.

So what do you really want in your life?

I don't want so much of... if you had the whole universe, you were the Queen of the Universe, but you did not meet God... no, I don't. No, I can't live without God.

You can't live without God. Yeah, that's enough for me. Like, I would not want this recognition. The whole example offers in everything, the whole universe as his kingdom is, but he said, 'Does this escape your grip? Everything here is going to die. This whole universe is going to die.' So now I say that I can't... I don't... I can't live without this recognition. Like, I leave it, yet I like this recognition, just his presence. Yeah, yet I leave, you know, and I leave and I leave. Same.

So that is what makes us foolish. There is conflict.

Yes, and that is why we don't know whether we will ever come completely to the end of foolishness. But our prayer more and more has to be that we do, like she said also, that within ourself he is here—his presence, his light, his love. And what we call ourselves is anyways him, you see. But palpably as his holy presence, his Atma is within ourselves, and yet we get caught up in worldly things and topics that are completely irrelevant.

So say I remember or whatever, like you know, and I'm talking to him or praying to him. It's not so full of love or anything. Like, I'm just like, you know, sometimes out of frustration, sometimes out of... how I pray, I just talk to him. 'Oh, what's happening?' Like that. No, then I don't know, it just changes everything.

So that is also love, like even though it doesn't feel like love. So if you talk to somebody on the phone for, let's say, seven hours a day, yeah, and then you say, 'I don't know if I love them,' then the other one would say, 'Okay, so then is that your job? Is it because it's your job?'

So can I say something on this? So here it feels like because Father told me, yeah, so the love for Father translates to this most. Like, Father told me to do this, Father told me to... so it's like that.

That's fine. So there is nothing lovable in Father except that he's an instrument of the Atma within. So the one that you love is not this boy, this man—I have to stop saying boy now. So nothing so great or lovable about him except that he's an instrument of that. So if his instrument can be lovable in this way, imagine that itself. So it's... and that is actually the whole function of the teacher: to guide you in such a way that you deepen in the true bhakti. And the initial object of our bhakti may seem to be the external teacher; it's fine. But he's a true teacher only if he's guiding you constantly with him. So don't think about just 'I don't know if I love,' but then if I look here, yeah, none of us love God enough. Not at all. I feel like very little compared to his love and mercy upon us. Like, we've made him into what we've made him into—somebody who should be constantly on alert, on attention, waiting for us. You know, that's what we've made God into. We turn within: 'I have left my world, I have left my TV, I have left my job, I could be making money right now, I have turned towards you, you are not even here.' You see, we've made him into this kind of thing, that 'I'm empty for you, you know, I was told that the presence will be palpable, but where are you?' As if it's an entitlement, you see. So it's this arrogance, this New Age type spirituality which I'm raging against in some way. Where to be empty for him, it's all up to him. It could be lifetimes or it could be this moment. So it has to be self-sacrificing instead of this whole very entitled sort of spirituality that we've gotten into. See, we confuse the immediacy of the insight with me being able to hold on to that immediacy and make it like an instant spirituality for the 'me.' Because the Self is apparently... am I aware now? Yes, I am. So we want to take that 'Yes, I am,' which is a heartfelt intuitive insight, and we want to squeeze it into the life of this 'me.' 'Ah, but I must be free then,' you see. But the one who is aware is not the one who can make the claim 'I must be free.' See, this one still has to be in obedience to God's will. A subtle thing. These are all the dangers that I spot in spirituality as I look around and after having shared satsang for whatever short time. Quickly we want to use his grace and his love for us and turn that into something special for ourselves, the false ourselves. So I agree with you, we don't love God enough because somewhere still our entitlement is getting squeezed out of us. I'm talking about this one. I can only pray for that because we can only keep praying for that. Like when you talk about all these saints and you hear, 'I don't know how to love like that.' But to the girl who was there twenty years ago, the one who is asking this question is the same. See, again, the girl who you were twenty years ago, apparently, so that one, this girl who is here now, is the same relatively speaking. And I'm not trying to make you think you're the same; I'm just saying that our only job is every day bow down to him, surrender to him, deepen in our love for him, deepen in our insight, deepen in our service, obedience to him.

Every time it feels zero. Like, it literally feels like zero.

Same, same, same. I just feel like I'm just starting on this path. What are all these children doing listening to this one? You're just starting. How will I guide anyone? I really feel like I don't know anything. So just the prayer is that he takes over and he moves this one. And we also have to, while looking at the inadequacies of the 'me' which seems trained initially, we have also to have full faith and trust in his mightiness. And this life may be a good example of that, of how such a foolish, stupid one can be used in some small way as his instrument by him, only by his grace. So, the inadequacy of the 'me' and the futility of the egoic nature that we have, yet at the same time full faith in his love, his mercy, and his power. Just 90% to focus on that and 10% to remind us of that, because if it becomes reversed, then very quickly that will also become egoic. Then we start... the mind says, 'Oh, this is nice, I can just focus on the me all the time by putting these adjectives which are demeaning in some way.' Contrition—you don't confuse it with guilt, do you? It's important to notice our foolishness, to notice how we still want to know for ourselves, want to be right for ourselves, want to choose for ourselves. Then he is there to guide us, he is there to move us. We still make these foolish beliefs in our mind, and yet at the same time, not to fall into guilt, but to trust his love for us. That we notice that we are like this, but we are also his children to be taken care of by him. That line from Anan Bu is so good, that all of us are so blessed, so blessed that he does... he has mercy on us, he doesn't do justice. All of us want justice from God, but for everyone else but ourselves. But we are very lucky that he is a merciful and loving Father or Mother, whichever way you look at it, instead of a just one. He said that if you did justice with us, where would we be? That in spite of knowing this as a fact that God is here, we are on our own trip. This is his nature, to be loving and compassionate, exactly, you see. And that is such a blessing for us. We get offended—you visit a friend's house and the friend says, 'No, no, I have to go watch a movie, I can't spend time with you.' It's like, 'I'm not going to come to your house again.' But does God see that? He does see. We do it in Ram, you know, and then we go off. And God is just like... why is not anything valuable that you gain by going off? So he doesn't get offended, or maybe he does at some point, I don't know. Who am I to speak on his behalf? But you're very lucky that God is not egoic. Our ego gets hurt in the smallest thing. If my child was told that Papa is in the house, go spend time with him, and the child doesn't come for one day, two days, five years, ten years, twenty years, and still waiting patiently for him—that is the kind of Godly Father we have. And then, but our foolishness is that we say, 'Oh, I kept you waiting for twenty years, but now I'm here for you. I waited for two minutes and you're not giving your presence to me.' And I hope all of you are realizing that I'm alluding to deeper things in very simple concepts and talking about your inner, deeper relationship with him, which is not transactional in this way. It's not perceptual or conceptual in this way. I'm just giving you some analogies and metaphors. So really, like Chandra said, it has to be a wake-up call also. And not saying like one pastor said, Pastor Chan, he said coming to a sermon should feel like a workout at a gym and not just a feel-good thing. And not saying it always has to be like that; it has to be a little bit like that. So I don't want to say, 'Yes, all of us are so loving to God, don't underestimate yourself, you're very good, you're too good,' because all of us have...

In this way, I'm just giving you some analogies and metaphors. So really, like Chitra said, it has to be a wake-up call also. I'm not saying like one pastor said—Pastor Chan—he said coming to a sermon should feel like a workout at a gym and not just a feel-good thing. I'm not saying it always has to be like that, but it has to be a little bit like that. So I don't want to say, 'Yes, all of us are so loving to God; don't underestimate yourself, you're very good, you're too good,' because all of us have a long way to go. But remember that I'm very much including this life in that. I'm not speaking from a position of saying, 'I'm there now, you all have to catch up.' Sometimes I look at all of you and I feel like I have to catch up.

So, one last thing I'll say to quit my ranting is that some of you, I feel like, have found a way to conveniently exclude Spirit from your spirituality. Don't make that mistake: Spirit from your spirituality. We prefer to use scientific-sounding terms, you see, like Consciousness and awareness, and make it seem like the scientific forces of nature or something like that, or just like the way it is. You see, like in our body there will be a physical heart, a physical liver, kidneys, all of that; in the same way, we made it scientific like that, that oh, Consciousness is there, you see, and then Consciousness emerges within that, pure awareness is there. As if they are just... we reduced the highest intelligence of the universe—in fact, that from which the entire universe derives all its intelligence and form—into almost like an inanimate object, like electricity or gravity or something like that.

If you touch a live wire, you'll get an electric current. That electric current is not operating out of a higher will or something; it's just part of the design. So we've reduced Consciousness as if it is a designed object. I wonder if I'm getting through. You know, like just barely sentient—that which gives everything sentience, we made just like, 'Oh, but God can't speak, you see. The Atma doesn't speak, it is just quiet.' It's not speaking to you yet because you need to spend more time with it. It's not an entitlement that you have. So we make these mental sort of boundaries and we say this is the way it is because we value our knowing more than trusting His Spirit, His presence.

What could be the boundary of the capabilities of His light, His Spirit, His Atma? Like, what can't it do? Remember, it's God's. And that is why spirituality is many times very conceptual and lifeless, because without realizing that this is a living presence—the only being, the only living presence is God's presence—and meeting it in that way, we are falling for a mental version of spirituality. Sometimes in Advaita, we have that danger. What is the symptom of that? Most of us have like spreadsheets where we are saying, 'I have come to Consciousness, but I haven't yet learned to live as awareness.' It's all this kind of thing where we reduced it to some just like a way of life, a framework where it's all about me still.

And not about... when we say Consciousness, do we realize who we are talking about? When we say awareness, do we realize that is the Nirguna Brahman? The one that is the witnessing of a gazillion universes which arise and go within it in the blink of an eye for it. And yes, you are that. You are that, but not the 'you' that you think you are. And there is no way that you can squeeze 'you are that' into what you think you are. So just be careful of that way of thinking: 'Oh, now I've got awareness, why I need to... I've got... I can just be aware.'

How would we be—and I know I've said this a million times now—but if Ram, Krishna, Jesus, any expression of God that we are in love with was sitting on that chair? And maybe this chair can be kept like this to remind us of that. So how is it that the more intimate relationship, which is in your heart, doesn't seem as tangible as it would seem if He was perceptually present on a chair in front of you? What about the chair of your heart? Maybe He's seated there. You see, so this is faith. It's not a blind belief because what I'm saying is what your heart is telling you. Your heart is telling you that God lives here. So your heart is telling you to trust that more than to trust what your mind is telling you, which is saying that the appearance of this world is more real than what your intuitive insight is guiding you to. To trust your heart more than you trust your head is faith.

And remember, I'm talking about your spiritual core, the spiritual heart, not the idea of your emotional center. The seat of all intuition—what is it telling you? And because it may be silent right now, don't just presume it doesn't speak. Learn to stay in His presence, in His light. Then He may accept you as a disciple. Then the job of this external one is done. This is not... I'm not trying to scare you or anything; I'm just saying truly that is the job description of the external seeming Master.

I just wanted to surrender, Father. For my... I still need the aid of visualization from time to time. Either the image of a God or image of Guru or yourself in the physical form. Is that okay?

Yeah, completely fine. That's why we have all the images on the walls to remind us. The hope is what? That we may be thinking of some worldly thing and we just look at a photo on the wall and are reminded of that, and we return to God the same way. So in that way, whatever helps us remember God is helpful.

It's just in the art of it, it's said that in the second step, leave the imagination and visualization. Does that happen?

It will happen. Because when you start to deepen and fall in love with the non-perceivable presence in your heart, then you won't really need to worry so much about that. We can still be reverential to them, of course, but you won't need them as an aid anymore because you just fall into your heart. We don't have to rush into it. We are not getting points for coming first. We should not feel like, 'Oh, the higher practice is to just fall into the heart, so I can just fall into the heart.' You have to be true to yourself because this is not being televised, nobody's keeping score, nobody's saying you're a better Bhakta or a worse Bhakta, or you are coming deeper into your spirituality or not. Just be true to yourself.

If you need some help, if that is a visual, use it. If it is a mantra, use it. If it is your breath, use it. If it is a Mala, use it. Don't get stuck in any pride that 'I am higher than that' or 'beyond that,' because in His grace, somebody who just started today and was on the first chant on their Mala can become the greatest sage, or somebody who can hold their breath for ten years and sit... remember, God may not live in his light. We cannot fathom His ways. We just have to be true to ourselves. So if you feel like something helps you and it brings you deeper in your devotion, use it. It's okay. When it's time for it to go, He will tell you, He will guide you.

Yes. Is the Bhakti which takes us into that which is beyond...?

Beyond it. It takes us to the love which is beyond being an emotion. But if the emotion in some way helps us or anchors us, it's good. Of course, that's what they are there for.

I feel guilty, why...?

There is no other Guru. That which brings you as a servant of God, brings you to His light, is what the world reveals and calls a Guru. But as far as God is concerned, the Guru is just an instrument, a servant. So anyone, anything that brings you deeper into the heart is your Guru. Now, we have to be a little careful having said that, because many times the mind loves to shift. So what it is actually doing many times—and that's why we must be heartfelt about this—is that it realizes that the roots of the tree are getting deeper, so it feels scared. So it wants to uproot it and say, 'Ah, what about that?' Then when that starts taking root, it says, 'What about that? What about that?' You see? So we have to be vigilant about that. But as long as we are vigilant about that, that we are not constantly working against ourselves and uprooting ourselves, then if hearing this one, hearing that one, hearing another one brings you more love in your heart for God, deeper in your insight about God, it's all good. All in service to Him. The true Guru is the Atma within, the Holy Spirit literally. The Satguru presence is the Holy Spirit within. And we have to be careful of any human mouth that says you can only follow me to God, you see. Only God and His incarnation, the Son of God, is allowed to say that.

Yeah, I raised my hand already like three times in a row and sat, and always it was not my time. And thank you for picking me. I don't have anything exactly in my mind planned to say, I just felt very strongly to come. And then for some reason again, as I try to follow the heart all the time, then also it comes to lower my hand. But yeah, it can be like that.

It can be like that. But the effort to follow the heart is good. Sometimes we can't expect instant clarity or consistency or something like that. That also we are developing in our trust, in our faith. So it's very good. It's very good. Thank you.

Thank you. And I don't know... yeah, I'm trying, maybe this is from the mind, but also I'm trying as much as I can to follow you and Guruji. And as much as sometimes, to be honest, as I noticed in the Satsang, somehow the mind has been strong in a sense like trying to help me so much. And it's very clear, it's like, 'Do not identify with the identity that all the trouble comes from.' And somehow, even though it takes effort, it's possible even not to. But yeah, I can see like it's trying to... all that Guruji says, all that you say, it's like the way it's trying to. And this is hard to see somehow because it's like I trust you and Guruji so much. And somehow it's not... maybe even now I'm not... when it says, you know, I watch Satsang and then it says exactly like, 'Let go, let go,' or what Guruji says. And yeah, so this has been here also a lot.

Yes, yes. That's a... I'm hearing a good thing. Are you saying it in a good way?

Yeah, like somehow seeing you're trying to follow what you're hearing in Satsang, so that's very good. But somehow the mind itself coming to try to tell me what to do is itself preventing it.

Yes, so very good you spot that. I took this example which I heard in a Satsang which was—I don't know if you heard this—but suppose that you were told that you must not look at the moon. You heard this? So since we started, we'll just share with everyone. Ordinarily, we may not look at the moon anyway. But if you were given an instruction, 'Just make sure you don't look at the moon,' then more than you are actually looking at the moon, you may be troubled by your mind saying, 'I hope I'm not looking at the moon. I hope I don't look up and see the moon.' You see? So sometimes when the mind takes on the instructions—and I was drawing a parallel between the instruction 'don't believe your next thought'—then a lot of thoughts about not believing the thoughts started to get believed. The mind plays on that fear that we have and can work at counter purposes, of course. So yes, very good you spot this. And what you must do is just... whatever the pointing is for, it is for you to go to your heart within. Live in your heart, so then you can be guided from there. So return to the presence, to His presence within yourself, and allow Him to guide you. Allow Him to move you. Remember that the point of any instruction that you hear from a Master's mouth is just to bring you to His presence within yourself, just to be empty. I don't know if I can... I don't know, sometimes it's like... sometimes I try to confirm the presence.

Whatever the pointing is for, it is for you to go to your heart within. Live in your heart so then you can be guided from there. So, return to the presence, to His presence within yourself, and allow Him to guide you. Allow Him to move you. Remember that the point of any instruction that you hear from a Master's mouth is just to bring you to His presence within yourself, just to be empty.

I don't know if I can. I don't know. Sometimes it's like, sometimes I try to confirm the presence, then like, yeah, sometimes I also see somehow I'm a little bit lost in trying to stay in the insight of like being aware. Because there is a sense that it's not, to be honest to expose, like it's not clear as it used to be and it's a little bit unbearable. Like the idea of being somehow separate from myself as awareness, it's a mess. And so there is like trying to, I don't know, seeing that I'm the one seeing everything and the mind is trying to help me with that. It's kind of a mess, I must say.

Like you said, actually the prerequisite or the only thing you can do is to be empty. Yeah, then the words will do their work on their own. But if you start to think about them, of course it can make it very messy and confusing.

Yeah, so even the ideas, like all the helps, like what I heard in Satsang, what mind is just letting it go. Like when it, yes, just be empty in the head. I don't, sorry, no, go. I don't know if this is completely true, but even with this little bit, like feeling the fight more, or I don't know, like I feel like, I don't know if this is true, but feeling like improvement or something. Improvement... well, I must be honest, I think I was getting nudges from God that I'm going in a wrong way, even though I didn't know for a very long time and I didn't notice it. I was very, very blind. And somehow now maybe the mind has me confused that I somehow, even though we were speaking about it in Satsang, I don't know that I fell back and I have to climb up, climb back again. Something like this is playing a little bit.

Just okay. So remember that the mind is not a good instrument for assistance of following what you hear in Satsang. The mind is not a good instrument to give you day-to-day assistance or moment-to-moment assistance to follow what you're hearing in Satsang, but your heart is. So your job is to just remain empty and then whatever guidance, whatever has been seated in your heart also in Satsang, will sprout in your heart when the time is right. See, don't feel that the mind is the only thing that can guide you or remind you. Just don't rely on it. And the heart is also playing this beautiful game of activating itself in this way, spreading its life in this way, making fertile ground for God's love to sprout in this way. So just don't rely on the mind, even if it seems to be telling you Satsang things. Just your heart will guide you, your heart will nudge you, your heart will move you. So just you remain empty. It's all for that.

Thank you.

So simply put, don't follow with your mind, just follow in your heart. Don't believe my thoughts, don't believe your thoughts. But don't make it like the moon thing. It's, that's not a difficulty.

Okay, that's good. Somehow finally I met someone who said that it's, yeah, I tried it, I tried it, I tried it. And yeah, maybe it can come like, then yeah, it can come.

I mean, don't believe your next thought as a guidance, as a help like that. But like a doubt coming, 'Oh, I don't know if I'm this,' this is seen through. That this is the one not to touch. That's easy. So if it comes as a reminder, then it must be once, and then we remain empty by not believing our thoughts. That's good in that way.

Sorry, once? I couldn't hear.

In the sense that if it comes as a reminder, yeah, the reminder comes once and says, 'Okay, I'm believing my thoughts, I'm not to believe my next thought,' and then we remain empty to our thoughts. You see? But the reminder should not be something which is just every other thought is 'don't believe your next thought.' You see? It can't.

Yeah, if it is just, yeah, let it, yeah, just let it go. Yeah, that's good. Thank you. Finally I met the one who that instruction came for.

Yeah, 12 years. Yes, thank you. Everything in your life must be for you to deepen in God's light, and those who engage with you to come closer to God's light. If you set that as the benchmark rather than any other right or wrong, good or bad, then you'll be sorted. If it becomes about 'What is the right way to do it? What is the correct way they should have behaved? How should I be?' then it all gets very convoluted. So you just keep the benchmark to be: Is my action going to bring them closer to God's light, or is it going to make them more worried? Is the place that I'm coming from, is that really from God's love, from God's life? And is this helping me deepen, or am I feeling disconnected as I'm engaging in that way? This eternal compass is very, very valuable.