You ARE Awake - 23 Apr 2015

No, I read a book. Oh, you read the book which was collaborated, slightly in terms of quantum mechanics, how the observer effect, which I don't understand, but this is how it is. This is how it is explained. It says that the Observer, while observing, collapses the particle into matter. So the Observer... I don't understand that. About the English part of it, I understand. Beyond that, I don't understand. Basically, the matter exists only in the presence of the observing.

They say Observer, but all that is appearing exists only in the presence of awareness. See, it's like that old saying that the tree which is falling in the forest and there is nobody in the forest, does it make a sound? How can we confirm this? Priya says it's seen here that this awareness is having a fascination with itself. Don't know how to explain better. We can say that the beingness now has some sort of fascination with itself. Awareness has no fascination with anything at all, completely untouched, you see. But its dynamic aspect, which is Consciousness, is the one that is fascinated. It is the same one which is pretending to be deluded and the same one which is now fascinated with its own magnificence. This is what I mean when I say that once you taste your own being, then you will not find that there is a taste or a need for any other experiencing. Your immortal being is the Amrit, is the nectar of the Gods, of the God that you are.

Father?

Now, Father, yes, my dear.

It's like, um, it seems to want to play and yet it's in, it's in within all the play. It's like the scientist somehow wants to, wants to like, um, experiment with it a little and yet it's still within.

Yes. Can you illustrate what you mean by experiment?

Like, um, God, I don't know. It's, uh, it's experiencing itself in a new way now, it seems like.

Say again?

It's experiencing itself in a, it seems like in a new way.

So far it was pretending to be this person and led the life of this person. Now that this vastness appears, this new global vision appears, then it seems like it's a whole new world and everything seems to have a new taste.

Yes, yes. It's, uh, I don't even know how to explain it. It just wants to almost, I don't know, like just try things out. And yeah, it's all same with no attachment and with no expectations of the outcome. It's just now playing, isn't it?

It's like a fascination when the person gets provoked. Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes. You see it with a sense of wonder. Like I say, even this, when reactions come from here, even that after a few moments is seen with so much wonder. Oh, how did this happen? Yeah, yeah. Person gets provoked and then somehow this being just goes, 'Oh, here's something happening.' This is all very fascinating. It's all very wonderful, all very... as long as we are not misidentified, as long as we are not believing the person idea, then all of this fascination, wonder is very beautiful. Tattwa, it's good to see you back. Are you still jet-lagged or you okay now? Okay. The simplicity is the most fascinating. The simplicity of your being, how it is ever-present. Even in the strongest delusions, you have never lost yourself. You are always only this. All the states, all the activities, everything you are the witness of. You are the only true witness. You are the absolute one and you can only confirm this.

Isani says, 'Father, awareness seems to be beyond birth and death and that is what I have always been. Being is pure bliss, but I don't know anything about immortality. Could you say something about this immortality we hear of?' But in the first sentence you already said, isn't it? Awareness seems to be beyond birth and death. This is the absolute immortality which we speak of. When we see that being is born in awareness and in the presence of this being, then time and space are born. See, so for awareness and for being, is there really an existence of time and space? Is it moving? Are you moving in time or space? And because you are not moving in time or space, then you are the space in which time and space are born. Therefore, the concept actually of time does not apply to you. It does not apply to your being also. And when time does not apply to you, then there is no question of mortality. So if there's no question about mortality, then you must be this immortal one. Is awareness experiencing itself moving in time? Is awareness changing with time? Is it moving in space? This pure witnessing that you are, it has nothing to do with time and space. Time and space are playing inside you, you see. This is what I mean, that the mind can never fathom your magnificence. Can it fathom this: that it is time and space which are playing inside you? You are not an object in time and space. To see this, you need the deeper insight from your heart, from your intuition. All time, all space is born inside you.

Isani says, 'Because when you said being is the Amrit, which is immortal, so just wondered.' So being also disappears, like in sleep. This is true. So you can say that when waking state, phenomenal state is there, then even this Amrit exists. This is the holy Ganga heart. Your own presence exists in the presence when there is the waking state or some phenomenal existence, dream state, waking. But in the absence of all phenomena, even the phenomena of this presence vanishes, dissolves inside you. Yes. And even this being is beyond, isn't it? Because this being is present in all the states. When you're in waking state, you could have various different types of dream states, various types of meditative states, and yet this presence is present. Other states can be experienced. So with the birth of this body or the death of this body, this being is not going anywhere. See, every night this body is dropped and a dream starts, a new body is picked. So the birth and death of the body do not concern the presence, your beingness. But ultimately even this dissolves into you. Then this dissolves into you and waits for the play to begin. The absolute one. Even the concept actually of mortality or immortality cannot apply. Isn't this very good? This is very good. I really appreciate the essence of your question. It means you're speaking from the absolute perspective, which is very beautiful.

Shakti also, I asked her to come up today and I felt I wanted to hear her share something. So let's see what appears from her heart. Looking forward to hearing it. Come up for a few minutes, my dear.

Namaste, Father. Can you hear me okay? It's funny, I find I can't say it.

We have time, my dear. Take your time.

Okay. Okay, I see, I hear myself. Oh, okay. Let me shut everything else down in case I have something open. Okay, oops. Okay, is that better? Let's see now. It's still there. It's okay. Okay, well, my prayer is to come just come rightly. Whatever's happening, just movements, and I can find no disturbance in the movements. Movements are disturbed, but I'm not disturbed. But this has come so many times now and I just felt that I couldn't, that perhaps I've been harboring something. And once I saw Mooji asked Omkara to face everyone in satsang and expose what she felt, you know, there was something going on. And so I just felt it was time for me to expose to you what kept coming up. And then you said to come here and expose that. So, I don't know why, after so much introspection about this, that something will rise and say, 'I want to be a teacher. I want to give satsang. Maybe one day I'll be a Guru.' It's so clear that that's not true and that that's not me, that I have no... I don't even know what that means. I don't know what any of those things mean. And last night I was reading Nisargadatta and it said—and I've read this from many Masters—that if you come with anything in your pockets, then it will delay your complete liberation. And I just at that moment, the energy to come and say, if this is in my pocket somehow and my introspection hasn't been complete, and if there's something holding on to that notion or if there's identity somewhere that I have yet to unearth that's preoccupied with specialness or whatever that is, I just, as much as there is power to do it, I surrender it. And even all of this, Father, I don't even know what I'm saying. There's no... there's just this play happening and it's not happening to me.

Thank you, my dear. Since we have this... okay, I'll mute. Actually, I'm very happy that she sent me this message, you see, because it can be that something there will play this trick and say that, 'Oh, do you really want to be... actually you just want to be a teacher, you want to be a Guru.' It can play like this. And this one also is now exposed in the light of satsang. What do you give it back? This one also.

I don't even know what I'm saying. There's no—there's just this play happening, and it's not happening to me. Thank you, my dear. Since we have this... okay, I'll mute. Actually, I'm very happy that she sent me this message, you see, because it can be that something there will play this trick and say that, 'Oh, do you really want to be... actually, you just want to be a teacher, you want to be a guru.' It can play like this. And this one also is now exposed in the light of satsang. What do you give it back? This one also has been seen in the light of your own seeing, and you've been courageous enough to bring it to satsang. How many of us can do that, actually? This itself is very beautiful.

But actually, when I said you must come today, it was that you have this platform. This is your sangha. All of you have this opportunity also to come up and share. If you feel like there is something which truly wants to share from the heart, then you come up here and share. And that's why I said that you don't have to call it sharing satsang. We can do that for you. We can say that Shakti shares satsang, isn't it? So don't fall into any of these tricks of the mind, because the mind will make something out of this. It's ultimately nothing. Even this. Any time you have something to share from your heart, this platform, this hangout, this satsang, this sangha is always available to you. So there is nothing that you need to have some sort of a formal process to become something. Nothing here is required. You can always come and share. Share from your heart. Don't put any label to it, you see, because it is the labels which cause all the confusion.

So just start sharing whenever it feels natural to you. You're here today or anytime that you want to come, just start sharing and let us enjoy the words which appear from your heart. Don't let the mind make something out of nothing. And the world needs... I said the other day that there is nothing that the world needs, but if we were to say that there is something that the world needs, it needs millions of you. It needs millions of you to share from your heart. You see, there is no sense here that there must be only some specially designated ones who can share from their heart. But just know that satsang is not just speaking. You know this, but just for the others who might be listening outside, you know that satsang is not just speaking. It is not just speaking about Advaita. It is also the presence. It is the transmission of energy. There's a lot of things that play automatically.

So when you surrender at the feet of the Satguru, then he gives you this Prasad. He gives you this blessing. His words get spoken from your mouths. So all that is appearing from this sense of surrender then can handle all of this energetic play, all the things that happen in satsang. Satsang only means this. And I told Mooji this time when we were there in the evening, we got together with the sangha, isn't it? Where he was saying it's very beautiful, and I said it's the simplest thing for me because I just go sit in the chair and wait for you to speak. That's all that happens here. Just come and sit here and I just wait for his words to appear from this mouth. That's all that is needed.

The mind will come and say, 'But what about this? Will you be able to do this? What will people think?' All this will come. Initially, when I just started, I told some of you, isn't it? That every day before satsang would start, the mind would come and say, 'Oh, but today you have nothing to say. What are you going to say today? You have nothing to say today. Today you will make a fool of yourselves.' It says like this. The mind just flicked away, you see. Just flick. Okay, cool. You see, there's so much trust in the heart. So much trust in the heart for the Master's voice that yes... and I know even if I sit here and no word appears, then no word appears. It's completely fine. It's completely in this way. It becomes very simple. It becomes very simple.

And this is your own sangha. It's your own family. It's your own playground of your own being. So always feel at home. If any of you ever feel that you want to come up and share something, there can be this urge sometimes to just come and share. Don't put any label to it. Don't make anything fancy out of it. Just come and share. So even this trick I will not let your mind play on you. The mind says, 'You must be... you have this desire to be a satsang teacher.' Then yes, say that, 'I always have the opportunity in my sangha, in my family. There is nothing that stops.' This is the sangha of being. It is your sangha. So neither the desire nor the aversion. Neither the desire nor the aversion. Because what happens is sometimes when we hear something, then we feel, 'Okay, I must never become a guru. I should never become a teacher.' Not even that. Just stay completely neutral. Stay completely neutral. And from this neutrality, beautiful words will emerge. And we are all waiting with open arms for all of this beauty to emerge from all of you. It's truly our joy. So no sense of specialness and no sense of shame. It's just nothing. Another nothing.

At least this way I got to see you in the hangout after some time, which is wonderful. This applies to all of you. Don't let your mind make a game out of this. See, don't let your mind make a game out of this. It's nothing at all. If this light has to be shared through your mouth, it will be shared. Nothing you can do or not do will stop it or change it. It's not up to you at all. And for my own experience of... you can mute again, my dear. So I was just saying that my own experience here of this life, the mind can take this on, you see. It can say, 'Okay, but you had such a strong awakening.' And many times Mooji would nudge me along to try and make me share, but the mind was still playing games because it was trying to say, 'Am I being arrogant or am I being false humility?' All of this nonsense, trying to understand what is going on. But what had to happen just happened when it was time for it to happen. So basically just forget about it. You can see it. I forgot about it. I don't remember.

Thank you so much. I love you, Father.

I love you too, my dear. Thank you so much. I'm very happy with this. I'm very happy with this sharing because I know that this can be some troublesome, you know, energies which can seemingly persist for some time. So all of you, this invitation is for all of you. Anytime you feel like you have this urge that some words are coming, don't worry. You don't worry about whether it's being arrogant or not. Let me worry about that. But you come up and share. Always welcome. Even Guruji said this time... Guruji also said at this time that, 'I have spoken enough. I want all of you to speak. I want to hear you now.' I already know actually in my heart that this sangha is the light of the universe. All of you are the light of the universe. So I'm not really ever concerned or worried about you because I know that you have this strong light burning in your heart. I know sometimes you go on your adventures and you go on your escapades. It's fine. It's fine. We have time. We have an eternity, actually. So we're not so concerned. Because this is the sangha of being. It is your sangha. It is your platform. Anytime any of you want to share from your heart, always welcome.

Okay, there's a lot of chat in both the windows. Let's just catch up if there's something important. Amrit said, 'Every time I have exposed something in satsang, it has completely disappeared. So happy and grateful for the light of satsang for all of us. Thank you, Father and sangha.' This is the power of bringing it to the sangha, you see. Yes. Bhagwati Ji says, 'Shakti, you have and share from such a beautiful heart.' She says. Deva says, 'Such courageous love.' Bhagwati Ji says, 'Shakti, I value your presence here so much.' Jerome says, 'We surrender at the lotus feet of the Satguru.' Anna has to go back to work. She was here for a short time. Oh, is it really almost an hour since we started? Just seemed like it was five minutes ago. No wonder some of you are looking sleepy. I felt like I just started.

Ritu says, 'Father, leaving early. Very irritable child and mom getting irritated too, not being able to watch satsang for long this week. May no thoughts be believed.' This is very... so before we read the rest, I want to ask all of you: if you have some sort of a gameplay happening with this, with this sense of becoming a guru, sharing satsang, all of this, you come up now and expose it. I know it feels uncomfortable. It can feel like, 'Oh, I'm exposing something private,' but just come and say it. It's okay. Okay, there's a lot of chat here also which I missed. Now, also said... very good. She said, 'Namaste Father. I have this very strong desire to become a guru and have satsang. I lay it at your holy feet.' It's very good that you can share like this. Very, very good.

And Shivani says, 'What else is this life for, Father, but to share this? Maybe not in words or giving satsang, but to be this and share it. I don't know what else life is for.' Very, very happy. And Vandana says, 'All of us without our identities. If it is given to the mind, big trouble.' This is true, actually. If you actually have anywhere this concept that 'I am a guru,' then it is big trouble. Just this feeling that the Guru speaks here from this mouth is enough. Parvati says, 'I think I used to have it. Now there is just nothing here. Nothing.' Priya says, 'I would make the most useless teacher. So opposite here. Same, same, same.' I don't feel you would make a useless teacher at all.

And Satsanga says, 'It seems to me at the moment it feels the opposite. I want to stay a disciple.' Oh, but this will never change. I will always be a disciple. This will not change. You saw... some of you saw me at the dinner, no, with Guruji? Always be at his feet. He can use this body how he sees fit, completely. So it's not a dichotomy. This is a very good point because you say, 'I want to stay as a disciple,' but if you're sharing, it doesn't mean that you're no longer a disciple. Something is happening here. Everybody is being rebooted. What's going on? Everybody got thrown out and now they're back in. And it's still happening like this. And our moderator is out. He is back. Okay, we're all back, it looks like.

Father, I got a message to say that there was a Google server error. I don't know what that is. Got booted out and now everybody came back in. Yeah, it's weird. Bava says, 'No moderator on YouTube.' But yeah, I don't know what's going on.

I wanted to say that all these people who are in the sangha, and they all say that they could never be teachers, and they are just the most beautiful teachers in how they behave and how loving and kind they are. They have all been my teachers, you know? The whole of the sangha. Such beautiful beings, such beautiful teachers. And they're a light in the world, you know? So they might not be calling themselves teachers or gurus, but they are in their actions, you know.

And you are too, my dear. You are. And I've often said this, isn't it? It's not about the words. You leave satsang and you find somebody who is sad and you give them a smile. That is better satsang. You give them a smile, you're kind, you're gracious, you're grateful. All these are very beautiful. So when I say that this sangha is the light of the universe, it is not just about being able to share words about Advaita. That's just a small part of it. It's about your entire expression being an expression of God. Okay, I've completely lost track of where I was in the chat. There's just too much for me to read, actually.

Okay, so YouTube chat is just too much today for me to read. But if there's something burning, something strong, then type it now again and we will look at it. Actually, it happened many times, but today I just can't believe the time. Something has happened. Seems like we just started. Margot says, 'Sharing happens anyway because it is presence. Words or no words.' Yes, you cannot not share, right? And Atma says, 'Don't know why, just like that, out of nothing, out of nothing love arises and tears too.' Priya says, 'Father, where does this come from, that there is no time? Like there's an emergency to awaken that causes the anxiety. There is no time, so put in all to satsang and awaken. That's what a voice says.' Okay, this is what the voice is saying: 'There is no time, do it now.' I tell you that you are completely free right now.

Because it is presence, words are no words. Yes, you cannot not share, right? And Atma says, don't know why, just like that, out of nothing, out of nothing love arises and tears. Supriya says, 'Father, where does this come from? That there is no time, like there's an emergency to awaken that causes the anxiety. There is no time, so put in all to satsang and awaken.' That's what a voice says. Okay, this is what the voice is saying: there is no time, do it now. I tell you that you are completely free right now. When you tell me how this is not true, how are you asleep in this moment? How are you bound right now? It is not possible for you to be bound. Bondage is just another idea. How is it possible for one in which time and space is born, for that one to be bound by something? Today we must let go of this idea of personal freedom. Please throw it away. It is no longer in service to you. Just forget about it. There is no personal freedom. Papa used to say, it is not going to happen to you in this lifetime, forget it. Why is that? He was not being mean. He was not being despondent about your potential for freedom. But as long as this concept of personal freedom remains, it is the only thing which seems to block you. That's why Mooji also says sometimes, forget about enlightenment and just stay here now. What needs enlightenment? What needs to wake up? Has that ever existed? Has the person ever existed? See, and now it is using satsang itself as a defense for itself. 'I want this freedom, I want this liberation.' The 'I', this 'I' does not exist. So can you all commit today that we will forget about it? Personal freedom, personal enlightenment—don't believe any thought about it. The mind will say, 'But then what do I do? I've been a seeker throughout, isn't it the whole game?' Like, yes, so game over now. The freedom, the freedom itself is the—I mean, freedom from this personal idea, yeah. And this is the only, you know, blockage that, you know, the idea that is for freedom.

Thank you so much, Father.

Very welcome. Very good. So if there is one who feels that they cannot forget about it, let that one come to the hangout and expose it. If there is still a strong attachment to this idea that 'I especially want to be a free person,' then you come to the hangout and you expose it. Burn it in the fire of satsang. Yes, my dear?

Um, just the last few minutes is everything. I just wanted to come up because everything's sort of um, what we're talking about. Um, basically there's like when you talk about, you know, wanting to share and wanting to be, yeah, you know, like there's this strong desire to um, to just be free so that so that what comes out, what comes out is is not hurtful. Like this um, the seeker, like this the seeker is because this just seems to be like—sorry.

It's good, it's good. I never have any trouble with any ineloquence. You can be as ineloquent as you like.

There's just this um, the strong desire to not—the seeker is a strong—what it is is a strong desire to not be all the stuff that comes out here, even though I'm not, it's not what I am. Um, it's like this sadness about what comes out. Yeah, like like when you like that or yeah, there's just so much anger here and um, the seeking kind of started from trying to change that, like trying to change what came out. And so it's around that. I don't know what the thing is, but...

And in wanting to control this, what comes out, and wanting to control it, it becomes a spiral, you see? It becomes like a vicious circle. Because this what comes out needs to be controlled? What only needs to be seen is: what am I believing about myself?

Yeah, well that there's been belief about 'this is me,' you know, and feeling just—I don't know, I still, I'm stuck on that because there is this not wanting, you know, just—I don't know, I don't know how to explain it. It's like it doesn't seem to be like, it doesn't seem like there's um, openness to just letting everything come out because, I mean, it doesn't work trying to control it. But to be honest, I mean, it's a thought actually that's saying 'I don't want this to come out anyway.' But I don't know, I don't know what to say. Just to be honest, what um, there's a resistance to allowing like yelling and just anger, just intense anger. And and but it comes out anyway, sir.

Exactly. Try to put a lid on it, the more it wants to explode. But is it triggered by similar situations or is it just sporadic and random?

Uh, noise. Just noise. Um, just loud noises or sudden noises or too much uh, just anyway—

Are in your head or you feel the noises are outside?

Um, like with the girls if they're yelling or, you know, just sudden noises like and too much noise. There's too much noise. It seems to bring out anger, just frustration and anger. And part of me knows this, knows this, but it's irrational. It's like—

No, it's very—I don't feel it's unnatural at all. The kids are making too much noise, you will shout at them. Doesn't mean you hate them or resent them, you just shout at them because they're making too much noise. Some, it might not affect and they don't shout at them. So what? It means nothing. My kids here, they'll see that Father is already shouting at us. How does it—

It's just so vicious sometimes. For—it's just like—

Do they stop hugging you in the night if you if you shout at them? No, they still come to you, isn't it? Yeah, because it has been made something, actually, that's why it seems like it becomes too strong or it becomes too vicious. It's—sorry, I missed that.

Because you have made something out of this, that 'I should not be this way, I should only be a particular way.' That's why it becomes, seems to become more exaggerated in its expressions.

Yeah, it's said that some masters would shout at their disciples when you would come to satsang. It's just a play, see? It just plays like this. As long—what matters is what is in the heart. Okay? Many stories like this, isn't it? Especially Indian stories, we hear many, many times that a master got so angry that he cursed someone. And in Indian stories, the curse is not just some normal curse, right? In Indian stories, the curse could be that you will spend the next hundred lifetimes as a dog or something. And they say that it comes true like this. Then they were supposed to be masters and sages and still anger comes. Yeah, it's—I don't know. Okay, so yeah, it—yeah, it's maybe not as bad as it just seems bad. I don't know, but I trust you. So basically—so basically about it, maybe I should end every answer today with: so basically forget about it. If you don't shout at your kids, who's going to shout at your kids? Sorry, I'm in India, we can speak like this. In your country, they'll put me in jail for talking like this. Okay, you still love them, they love you. Nothing is going wrong. Okay?

Well, I trust you. There's all sorts of but-but-buts going on, but I trust you, so I'm not going to even go there.

Yes, you are not going to ever do anything to harm your children, you see? But if you keep this conflict, if you keep this conflict like this, then there is potential for those kind of things. Just be natural. Just be natural. It's completely fine. Especially with mothers, it's so, so much easier. Mother—I always find, being a father, I always find that the kids are much more forgiving, much more quicker to hug their moms than they are to hug their dads. I've seen like this. My wife could shout at them, like it will seem like a lot, and just in two minutes later they're playing together. Yeah, but if I were to do that, if I were to shout like that, they don't talk to me for two hours maybe. Okay, it's all good. Forget about it.

Never mind. I'll just mute now. Forget—

There's no neutrality about it, you see? Forget about it means there's a neutrality about it. Yeah, it does not mean that satsang finishes and you call your kids and shout at them. It only, it only means that you're open to how this love is playing out. Yeah.

Well, unless I listen to this little voice over here, there is no problem.

There is never a problem unless you listen to that voice. It's just saying 'but, but, but.' Like, okay, this is what we spoke about in our first satsang together and this is what we speak about now. All about this pen: you don't pick it up, it cannot bother you. All right, thank you.

I just need to hear you say it, Father, sometimes. Sorry.

No, no, it's very good. It's my job. I would be completely without a job if you did not want to hear it. Thank you. You're welcome. Can I say something please? Yes, my dear.

Um, uh, what um, what Shivani was saying just kind of resonates with—resonated here because um, I see that there is still um, it's same ideas that of of a like a resistance to what's appearing, you know. Um, because on the way back, uh, on one of the flights, um, I sat down and there was three people next to me and I was I was just feeling okay till then. And as soon as I sat down, I just—it was like I sensed what was happening to the person next to me and it was so uncomfortable. I wanted to—if I could have, I would have gotten up and left, but I couldn't. I had to sit there for three hours. And after about half an hour, you know, I could feel the the physical pain which had I hadn't felt for many, many—almost a day and a half was—or I could feel it. And then the mind kind of, 'Oh no, you know, not this again. You know, what what's going on?' And this—this is so today I—there was some anxiety coming back because I have—I'm going back to some appointments tomorrow. And it's not—I'm not anxious at all about my own appointment, but it's the fact that I will go there and it's like in the waiting room and it's full of people who have issues and it's—and I just don't want to go, you know. It feels like—yeah. So but this morning I kind of, I realized that there is still this idea that there is a 'me' that it's happening to. Because if there wasn't a 'me,' then there is no problem.

So okay, trick. I'll tell you a trick. Where it feels like there's a 'me' that is worried about all of this, then you can put on—put me on as an armor. Wear me as an armor and you go wherever you're going. Does it make sense to you? Just feel like you're with me in satsang and then you go wherever you go. Just carry my presence. The presence which you felt here, you carry that. When there's a 'me'—when there's no 'me,' then no trouble anyway. You just stay here in this room in Bangalore, in the satsang hall. Let the body move wherever it has to move.

So um, only been back for like about twelve hours or something and I sense already like a strange—it feels here that I'm walking through, it feels like I'm walking through some kind of thick—like I know, like my body just moves slower and I don't understand, you know. There's—yeah, I just feel like I'm dragging this body around here which is um, yeah. Like I I felt a real kind of—even on the train back, like I didn't want to look at anybody and um, it's yeah.

So if all this is happening, means there's a 'me' there. If there's a 'me' there, then you put me on as an armor. I'm always available to you. Just feel me right there in your heart and just go through all of this. Makes no difference. Don't make it complicated. If you make it complicated, then it becomes troubling.

That's why I wanted to say something today because I felt like my mind was trying to make—yeah, make it complicated, like make it into something like um, thank you.

You can feel me with you or no? I don't know. You must look. Don't let fear get in the way because my presence is your own presence. It cannot go anywhere. That's why I can ask this with so much confidence, because you cannot stop being. And this very being is your holy presence, is my presence, is the presence that speaks from here right now. It feels like the fear is—whatever the fear might be, can you stop being? This being is there. The fear is nothing compared to that. No problem is greater than the holiness of your being. It is your being which gives power, which gives belief to all of this. That is the supreme power. How can something which is appearing and disappearing have any real power? It only comes from your own being. You stay with this, you stay as this, and none of this will touch you. This is satsang. This is true satsang, see? This is the company of the truth, the presence of being. Then you cannot leave something. So if there is a 'me,' then the only job of the—

To that, no problem is greater than the holiness of your being. It is your being which gives power, which gives belief to all of this. That is the supreme power. How can something which is appearing and disappearing have any real power? It only comes from your own being. You stay with this, you stay as this, and none of this will touch you. This is Satsang. This is true Satsang. See, this is the company of the truth, the presence of being. Then you cannot leave something. So if there is a 'me', then the only job of this 'me' is to stay with the presence. See, because I leave you with no excuses. You cannot say that 'I don't feel the presence, I don't know being.' You cannot say 'I can stop being.' There's no reason that your mind can play now. We've seen through all the tricks of the mind. You feel like playing with it still? Then don't. Being is ever-present. It's there. And because you're an artist, you see, you have this very visual imagination. Your mind very quickly starts painting pictures of, 'Oh, now this body is being dragged.' Very good. Still feels like you're sitting right here next to me. I don't feel any separation, any distance. Bangalore today has London-type weather anyway—all cloudy. Great.

I say something? Yes, my course... sorry. It just occurred to me, like, it feels like... Jesse, my youngest, she's fairly dramatic and she will start telling this big story and make you cry and throw herself on the floor and ribs, and I kind of giggle at it. It just kind of occurred to me that's what we're doing. We're basically just telling the story and I'm just giggling, feeding ourselves up, yeah. And you were just giggling at us. It feels exactly the same, except yeah, it's very much like... yeah, because you cannot take her too seriously. No, you can see clearly that she's just like... but she's taking it so seriously. And me and R laugh and she's like, 'Stop laughing!' and she can hear the storming happening in here. She tells us all off for laughing at her. Sorry, it just seems like that. It just occurred to me that's how I'm in her shoes, playing this role and not realizing. You know, I don't know, it just occurred to me to share that anyway. Very good example, like this. You know, she can crack up laughing at how funny she was at taking herself so seriously. Sorry, we're just juggling a couple of things.

Oh, that's okay. I just wanted to share because that same... it's just... yeah. And when you tell her it's nothing, what does she say? Jesse? Or when you tell Jesse that it's nothing, what does she say?

Yeah, she gets really upset. She's... yeah, that's why I have to be very careful and use a lot of other words, otherwise it's 'nothing' for everything. Yeah, it's just funny how they're different. Like everyone's different, even as kids. You could say that to Ruby and she would go, 'Oh yeah,' you know, she'd straight away get it.

Yeah, same in the Satsang also. To some, it's nothing. To some, I can say it's nothing and they're fine with it. To some, if I say it's nothing, they're like, 'Okay, he doesn't appreciate my question at all, he doesn't love me much' or something. Just like children, just like...

Yeah, I thought all kids were the same, but they're actually not. Like, we had this concept that all kids were, you know, open and innocent, but Jesse is only four and she's so serious. It's like, oh my gosh.

Yeah, they're so unique. All of us are so unique. Yeah.

So I just wanted to share those. Very nice. I will also use the story. Thank you. Because it's not here now and we don't... I just saw on the screen... see, but I got really angry today at someone. And I don't have a problem, I know sometimes anger just comes and it's just arising and it's okay. But it was with the apartment thing and just... the story is not important, but I just felt... I just found myself yelling at someone over the phone around it. And I was... it surprised myself because it felt really... it just felt like old anger. And maybe the story is important. Okay, so because as that, something wanted to just hide the story. I was supposed to meet a broker today at four o'clock to see the apartment and give them my passport and everything and signs and stuff. And so I called ahead of time and someone else answered. And I think the communication difficulty, the barrier sometimes, so they don't always understand me and I don't understand them. So she was saying, 'Well, we need you to come to the office.' Oh, but I didn't know how to get there because I just get... I'm not good at finding my way around. And so he was supposed to meet me, the broker was supposed to meet me somewhere else because he knew I didn't know how to get there. And she said, 'Well, I'm sorry, he's out of town.' And I was like, 'I don't understand, you were supposed to meet me today.' She goes, 'No, he's out of Bangalore.' And so it's nothing, but I just found myself getting really frustrated. And I didn't yell, actually, I just got really frustrated and it was just a lot of anger that came up. And I just, I don't know, I just wanted to expose it because something wanted to hide that. And there was so much guilt afterward about it, and shame. And so I just... I didn't know if I should just let it be.

But you know, when these things happen, the best use of them is to use it for your inquiry. So you said that, oh, guilt, so much guilt came and shame came. Very good. Then use it. See, who is the guilty one? Can I find the doer, the one who shouted at her? Can I find this one? Can I find the one who is feeling guilty also? So when all of these come, because they come in all lives, these feelings come, then you use them for your inquiry and say, 'Okay, this is guilt, so where is the guilty one? Can I find this one?' And this one you will not find. And sometimes you might find that there is some resentment, and find the one who is resenting. You'll find that it cannot last. That's why I say that anger can come and go, but resentment cannot last for you now because resentment needs a lot of, lot of belief, constant belief. The victim identity came? It's not there all... yeah. So there's just a voice that's like, 'I can't believe you reacted like that.' Yeah, exactly. You know, use this, use this. So when this voice comes and says, 'I can't believe you reacted like that,' so either say, 'Who is the one who is speaking now?' or say, 'Who is the one you're talking to?' Either way, both don't exist. Both this voice which is saying, 'I can't believe you did that'—who is that one? That doesn't exist. And the 'you' to which it is talking also doesn't exist. Game over. In this way, when we use everything, everything that life is applying to us of our own, then it becomes easy. Because these are the times where it's not so easy not to believe your next thought. It seems like these are the charged times, charged with identity of some sort, charged with guilt of some sort. Then you use these. When the thought comes, 'Why did you do that? How could you have done something like this?' then you inquire into who is this 'you' who is being referred to.

And Sonia had said, 'Can we all wear this armor, Father?' Of course, my dear, this is what Satsang is for. Chaki says, 'Shivani, thank you for sharing the image of the tantrum. How wonderful.' And Bika said, 'Beautiful, Shivani, such a great example.' Bhagwati Ji says, 'Father, someone I mentor wrote a testimonial for my website, and the testimonial is: I tell people when I'm totally stuck, I call Bhagwati and she laughs at my problem, and her not taking them seriously shows me I don't have to take them seriously.' This is very good, because this shows that this one is already reaching some strong maturity. To appreciate one who laughs at our problems takes some strong maturity. So all my blessings to this one. Very good. And they couldn't have asked for a better mentor.

Just reading one excerpt from the chat on YouTube. Priya had said... but Rya had said to Shivani, she said, 'I can't shout at my grown-up kid anymore. Make the most of it. Make the most of it now while you can.' And Pak says that we will keep you employed fast. And Deva says, 'Satsanga looks like a different person now, so beautiful.' Jyoti says, 'Father, the seeking here has also, like Shivani has shared, stemmed from a feeling of being wrong and bad. From a feeling of being wrong and bad due to a fiery temperament, especially with the kids.' So like R said, enjoy it while it lasts. They will stop being shouted at very soon anyway. And J says, 'A desire to move away from this or find salvation from this seemingly horrible mother. All just a story, but wanted to expose this play of shame.' Am says, 'Yes, so beautiful to see transformations like this.' Thank you, Lucia. J, thank you so much. Su, thank you, my dear.

And Chankas had said, 'Father, there is a sense that I have nothing to say. Not that things do not come, but feel that it is better to simply allow them to recirculate. Once they are said aloud, the mind starts in with judgments, regrets, and so on. So by keeping quiet, it seems that there is more peace here. Then there is a worry that I am not actively participating. So the question is: can I participate in the Satsang, in this life, through silence?' You can, as long as you feel no distance in your heart. Then you are not far. It is not about whether you are actively involved in communication or not. It's very good. As long as you feel the oneness in your heart, as long as you feel the presence in the heart, then it's all good. This is what this is doing. Anandi wants to sit down under the table. Amay said, 'Father, gratitude. Except for in-the-moment inquiry questions that pop up for a delusion, desires and aversions are non-active and far away, like a TV in the other room.' Very good.

There is one question left for you from the heart to the one Satguru, from the one separate self in all dreamers, not just me. The question I lay at your feet from the heart is: 'Will you please awaken the dreamer fully?' We actually have hailstones. Hailstones! Can you hear this? Can you hear this? These are hailstones. You know what hailstones are? They are clumps of ice falling from the sky. Is it hailing or just sound like... hailing sound, sure, sure. Sound like... yeah, so cool. And outside is like the roof... the roof is going to break.

Okay, so Amaya's question was: 'Will you please awaken the dreamer fully?' Yes, yes. You are fully awake. Fully awake now. Completely, always awake. The only thing that has to drop is the pretense of being asleep. To finish, you have to see it. You have to see it. Okay, you're talking about children today. No, can hear that? Say hi. You can see that, can't you? You can hear it. Yeah, you can hear it. Seriously, the glass is not even... this place, ice everywhere. Ice everywhere. You going to collect some? No, Mama not letting me go out. Nobody has to go. They were planning to go. And what is in... I couldn't hear anything. The rain. What is the... what does it mean to be awake? To be awake means to be not pretending.

Okay, so his question was: 'What does it mean to be awake?' To be awake only means that we are not pretending to be a person now. An awakening... awakening is different. Awakening is an experience which means that in the presence of the Master, in the presence of some strong being, there can be this wiping out of this person idea on its own. You see, it just seems like, come in the presence of Satsang, you look into the eyes of the Master and it seems like the 'I' which I always believed myself to be just vanished, and you can find no difference between yourself and anything. That's an awakening experience. But an awakening experience is not a prerequisite to freedom. Just another experience. When does it have to stay? If the fact that you are awake is always true, you're only pretending to be a person. An awakening experience can come and go. There's no permanency in that. An experience, whatever it might be, can never be permanent. So how is it, Master? Yes, so for the Master, it just happened that the mind which seemed to have so much power earlier now seems to have no power, or has only 0.1% of the power it used to have. So it...

Experience is not a prerequisite to freedom, just another experience. When does it have to stay? The fact that you are awake is always true; you're only pretending to be a person. An awakening experience can come and go; there is no permanency in that. An experience, whatever it might be, can never be permanent.

So how is it, Master?

Yes. So for the master, it just happened that the mind, which seemed to have so much power earlier, now seems to have no power, or has only 0.1% of the power it used to have. So it cannot push you into this pretense. That's the only difference. He's not living in some other state. The sage is not in some other state. The sage is always saying that 'I'm the same as you.' It's only that I'm not giving any power to these thoughts which are coming in.

Incredible love presence, yes. How does it... is in your own presence? His love is there.

Okay, you say incredible love in his presence. Where do you feel the love? From inside or outside? Inside. So this presence externally is only a reminder of your true presence inside. That's why the Satguru, the true Satguru, is always inside. But in this play, you find that ones who are in this presence all the time and not giving any power to mind, it seems to have this energetic way of pulling out the same. You find this is true even for negative emotions, isn't it? If you're around somebody who's angry, then you find yourself also... something is pulling those energies up. The same way it works. So in the presence of those who are not deluded by the mind, you will automatically find a sense of peace, a sense of love, a sense of joy is still coming from inside.

Think it's not a permanent...

What is permanent is that I can't imagine giving so much importance to the person idea. It's just like you've seen that the sun appears from the east, then you cannot give belief to the idea that the sun comes from the west. Because your own experience is that you were never this person, then can you ever truly believe that person again? You cannot. Once you've clearly seen that you are not this person, you can never truly believe in the person. Belief can go momentarily; that's all that happens. That is liberation. That is freedom, you see. So an awakening experience is not freedom. It's an experience where you realize all of a sudden that there's no person. The 'I' which I always believed myself to be just doesn't exist. You see, in that moment you could see. But the trouble with awakening experiences is that if after it is over you say, 'Oh, I am special because this happened to me,' then you picked up the person again.

Show you the... oh, that's the ice. The ice which has been following. Nice. Nice. Is it cold in your hands? It is. There are so much outside. They will be here. Could hear them. They were much bigger. They're melting. It's not like snow. If somebody hits you with a big one, it could actually hurt. Papa, now the only thing I haven't seen is snow. Yes, but we saw when... not real. That's not like made.

I would like to ask you. I was in and I was slipping into blissful... and somebody would say, 'Beautiful man,' things like that. Like they recognize. But I just felt, you know, exalted. And then when I went home one day, I was lying on my back and suddenly so came... no bed, no house, and no nothing. No room, no nothing. It was just beautiful peace and love. And what kind of experience is that?

You want me to give you the nice guy answer? You want me to...

No, I'm not looking for...

So even this, forget about it. It's nothing. So it's called trances. All these are... whatever it is called, just forget.

Why does it happen? To endorse that okay, these kind of states do exist, is it?

Yes, maybe. I don't want to give more fuel to this interest in that, you see. Those... these are... they come and go. Yes. All that is coming and going is not you. You are still the witness of whatever the content might be. The most blissful experience, the near-death, the out-of-body, the awakening, the Kundalini, the chakras, the everything is just a play of appearances. So any phenomena is not truth. It is not you. Not you. So this mind looking for enlightenment and its glory and this one... you leave that. And yeah, the one that is looking for enlightenment, forget about it. Drop it. Are you okay with that?

Yeah, I'm okay with that. I don't want anything. This is not true because I'm seeking the truth.

Yes. The truth must be here now. That's why I always say that I'm not interested in a truth which is coming and going. What value would that truth be? The truth must be ever-present. Must be here now. What is here now? Being. Being is here. And are you aware of it or...?

But all the time now, more. Yes, but there's always awareness of something or the other.

Yes. Awareness is ever-present.

There's so much joy around the master. We would like to embrace that all the time.

Yes, yes. But if you are to be around a master, then you have to be open to all things, not just joy, you see. Because many who come with the expectation that around a master there's only joy, then very quickly that expectation itself becomes... what happens is that when you look at the master personally, then even that personal looking has to be burnt, isn't it? Even this will not survive the light of freedom. All personal attachment. Then if you're around the master all of the time, you will start getting irritated with the personal traits of the master. Like I was telling someone yesterday, you feel, 'Oh, why doesn't he comb his hair?' You know, these kind of things will start irritating you if you are around the master, you see. It is not easy to be in the presence of the master all the time. It's very strong satsang sometimes because you expect the master to be all goody-two-shoes all the time. It doesn't play like that. So those who are open to everything in the presence of the master, they're open and they treat the master's anger, they treat master's everything as a sign of love. Those can be around. But if it comes with this expectation that 'I'm going to be close to someone because I'm always going to feel the joy,' then very quickly this delusion is broken. That's why many times you will see that in satsang, you will find that everybody is smiling, everyone is smiling, except the ones who are closest to the master. Many times, not always. Because all that is personal, the personal attachment is being burned, is being burned. Also what happens with the close sangha is that they have to care for the master's body also, you see. So in their mind, they have to give it some importance, some relevance, and this attachment to the body also can become a cause of suffering. It's all a play of this Leela like this. So many come like this, will feel that, 'Oh, around the presence of the master, only joy, joy.' Just like many come to Tiruvannamalai and feel that around Arunachala I will only feel blissful. Does it happen like that? For some it does. For others it can be a strong roasting, strong burning can happen. So I make no guarantees that if you were to come here you'll only feel joy. You have to come with this openness that 'I'm open to whatever.' I'm open to whatever comes. Then you will say that it's only joy. If you come with an expectation of joy, then trouble.

We are mostly coming with expectation to wake up.

Expectation to wake up. But I'm saying you're awake. This must reconcile, you see. He said that he is saying that we come with the expectation that we will wake up. And when I say, 'But you are awake,' that answer doesn't sound satisfactory. So what will convince you of your freedom? You can say it could be fireworks, it could be something.

For me, my... I mean, my wrong conditioning... with that I would feel... I would feel one with the universe. I would feel one with everyone. I would feel one with everything. And that is... that is love. That's my mental condition.

And this 'I' is who? He said that 'I will be convinced of my freedom if I feel that I am one with the universe, I am one with all beings, I feel love for everyone.' So then it must be asked, since you said 'I' three times, who is this 'I'?

I is the I Am.

This I Am... no, now this is a person, yes. See, as long as it's personal, the imaginary one cannot be one with anything. How can something which is imagined be one with anything? This one leave aside. Then which is there? Hereness is now. So there's no frills around it, no trappings.

No frills, yes, yes.

But what is your idea of heaven? You see, we say that... he said, 'What are the frills around you?' It means what should happen? Some fireworks, some halo, something should come. But somebody said, 'What is your idea of heaven?' and I actually contemplated this question and I said, 'Okay, the most pleasant things are there all the time.' But I know if it is there all the time, then it'll become nothing very quickly. I mean nothing. See, best food, the best drink, the best company, the best everything. How long will it seem like heaven? Not for long. For a terrorist, it would be a harem of girls. Yes, yes. It seems attractive, you see. Attractive. He said for some the idea is to have a big harem or something like that. But then we must ask them, 'Can you deal with even one, that you want so many?' It is just projections from the mind. Projections from... see. So my idea of heaven is nothing. It's pure nothing which has no expectation, it has no desire, it has no aversion. Just this what I am. This no-thing. This no-thing is heaven already. It is already heaven, but better than any idea of heaven. That in Indian mythology it is said, no, that all these gods, Indra and many of these gods, would be in this heaven where there are beautiful apsaras and beautiful things, everything is so beautiful. And then because they were so bored up there, they would come down to earth to experience this life. Why? If heaven is so great with all of this, then why would you want this contrast? Because anything becomes too much, it becomes too boring. This nothingness, this emptiness, can you bear it? Not follow for the projections and the tricks of the mind. Lucia, so happy you're here, my dear. Okay, I also have to run off now and see what the situation in my house is. But maybe... is your mic working, my dear? You want to unmute? Yeah, let's hear something. No, I don't hear you. No, now it's mute. No, still no. Aparna says, 'Father, just wanted to expose that mostly in all satsang I have that women are more in number, but why only men become gurus?' Hmm. I didn't know this. Only men become gurus? Is it true like this? Those who are women... Gangaji, I'm sure there are many, many. I don't feel this at all. This about why there are more women in satsang, this I cannot tell you why. For me, they are all my children. I don't know why a father has... if he has eight children, why seven are girls and why one is a boy, that I cannot tell you. It just seems to be like this. All of you are my beautiful children. Actually, it's not that I cannot tell that you are a woman or a man, it's not like that, but I don't feel ever that I have made some differentiation between somebody coming to satsang being a man or a woman. And if anyone of you ever spot something like this, you please bash me in the head with it and we will look at it together. Very happy. Okay, so I was going to ask Lucia to sing, but since her mic doesn't seem to be working, we'll have to... who else is here? Yes, Deva is here. And also I wanted to hear after Deva, Bhagwati can sing the chanting, the Om Namah Shivaya chanting.

I'm still a bit sick, Father, so I don't know how this is going to come out, but it's my joy to sing for you always. I don't know if that's mutual, but here I am.

Thank you, my dear. Beautiful. And before we ask Bhagwati to sing, I just wanted to read something that Jyoti had typed. And I cannot read everyone's, but I just wanted to read what Jyoti typed. She said, 'Beloved Ananta, so true what you say. Lots of time of roasting near beloved Guruji, but still so much love for him.' This is maturity. This is beautiful. And she says something, 'The mind can never explain this inner connection with one's master.' Then for Aparna, there's a big list of women gurus that has been typed by the sangha.

Thank you, my dear. Beautiful. And before we ask Bhakti to sing, I just wanted to read something that Ji had typed. I cannot read everyone's, but I just wanted to read what Ji typed. She said, 'Beloved Ananta, so true what you say. Lots of time of roasting near beloved Guruji, but still so much love for him.' This is maturity. This is beauty. And she says something the mind can never explain, this inner connection with one's Master. Then for Apna, there's a big list of women gurus that has been typed by the YouTube chat. Bhakti Ji, you sing for us?

Yes, Father. I don't know if I can sing to order. We shall have to see. Can you hear me?

Cannot too well. Cannot hear you too... oh, that's lucky. It's all right, it's all right. We can try. Yeah, you sure.

Let's have invocation now. This beautiful: Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu, Guru Devo Maheshwara. Guru Sakshat Parabrahma, Tasmai Shri Gurave Namah. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Om. Come, come here. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Om Sri Satguru Bhagavan Ki Jai. Om Sri Satguru Gyan Ki Jai. Thank you all so very much for being in session today. Satguru Sri Mooji Ki Jai. Om. Om. My apologies to those in YouTube where I wasn't able to read your chat messages; just a little bit too much to read. Thank you, Parvati Ji. We can turn the broadcast off now for today.