Whose Presence Is This? - 25th September 2023

Even God is for me... God is helpful, useful, worth praying to, worth our obedience, allegiance, all of these things because He helps me. And what does that mean? Where is that 'me'? And you know, you talk to people on the streets, which I'm going to start soon, but... but who's got the time for this? 'I have to get to work, I have important things to do. What will I get if I ask myself who am I?' What will you get? You will start... you have the potential to start living a true life, you see. But that has nothing to do with the game called Lila, no, in which we are this character and the parameters of the game have been defined for us: relationship, money, health of the body, and the search for meaning. Keep judging yourselves based on improvement on these four parameters, you're doing well. But what if someone came and told you that this game is just like Fortnite or something? What do you kids play? Call of Duty? Yo, this is one of those games. It has nothing to do with reality.

And the sages have gone hoarse telling us no. They've called it all these names. Kabir Ji called Maya the biggest con artist. Yeah, still it is not enough for us. How many feel like Kabir Ji could be lying? So he said Maya is a 'Mahathagni,' which is that this world appearance is an illusory con artist. Is he lying? So if he's not lying... now the way I asked, obviously all the famous words... but do we live like that? And you could live like that. You could say, 'But I have no option because I don't know better.' You could say, 'I don't know any better, I have not seen anything but this.' That would be a valid excuse. But anyone who's been to satsang for any period of time, you do know better. You have met better. You at least had a glimpse of reality. That's why I'm saying I'm not asking for your belief, but are you going to spend all of your time, all of your life with the con artist?

Tell me that we feel Kabir Ji was lying. I use the big guns because I know they get much more respect than the ones who presently speak to you. It's normal human nature. So it's possible that he would be lying? I mean, he's deluded or something? But Kabir is Kabir. So those... it's good for me to get the reinforcements like that. So if Maya is fake, then what is real? It's really to provoke you all to not give value to that which is ephemeral. Can you believe something that you don't value? That which we call interest is just a function of how much value we've given something. Like if somebody came and told you, 'You know, that cloud is cumulus and this cloud is accumulus,' if your mind came and said that, you'd say, 'Get out of here, there's no value.' But if somebody came and told you, 'You know the quickest way to check the nature of awareness, the nature of being conscious, the nature of this world,' so that is value.

But another one who's studying clouds, somebody comes and says... the mind comes and says, 'What is the nature of awareness, consciousness?' 'Get out.' So that is value. So that value, what do we value then? That becomes like the theme and we become fertile for belief around that topic, you see. So if you value enlightenment or spirituality, so that is the theme that you value, and then when thoughts around that particular thing come, then it grabs you. So most will tell you that this world is Maya, especially if you come to Advaita Vedanta, they'll tell you that this world is Maya and that's it. Understand that this is Maya, it is unreal. But here you've been pointed very directly in terms of what is then real. What is then real is not being kept aside and said, 'No, you're not ready yet, you're not ready yet.' You are ready. If you are alive, you're ready. Whose life is there? And life is consciousness.

All it takes is a sliver of openness. Are you willing to let go of what you know? I said sliver, but then I've taken the whole house, I know. Is there a sliver of openness toward letting go of everything that you know? Freedom from the knower. Where does it leave you? Does it leave you lost? Because that's what the mind will tell you: 'You need to rely on this thought because if you don't know anything at all, where are you now? Are you lost?' Not lost, okay. And which is that even as a momentary experience when we go on holidays and sightseeing and things, we are chasing the freedom from knowing. He said we are not lost, we are found, which implies that we're coming to a truer knowing. Going from conceptual knowledge to self-knowledge, going from ignorance... all the same thing.

The knowledge of God's presence, the knowledge of the Atma, is not distinct from the darshan of it, from the meeting with it. How many of you have met this presence, this light? How many of you are saying with faith and not belief? How many of you can tell me the difference between faith and belief? So faith is to rely on what you actually know, what you really truly know. And what do we call that? What is the way to really truly know? You just know. You just know it, which means that it is not perception, it is not reliant on what perception is available to you, and it is not conceptual because you know that conceptual knowledge, when once put under some strain, it usually just runs away, you see. And that's why when life flaps around, even the greatest people who have a lot of conceptual knowledge, they suffer. They're not beyond their suffering because that knowledge leaves them.

So there is a greater knowledge which... I say that because to 'just know' doesn't sound fancy. We call it intuitive insight. We know it intuitively. So faith is to rely on this intuitive insight and belief is to rely on just a concept. So I'm not giving you a concept of God's presence, God's light; I'm trying to prod inside so that then your faith can rely on the reality of self-knowledge. But for a moment, let's presume that I am buying everybody's answer, which is yes, we have. So can you tell me: who is aware of that presence? Who is aware of that presence? Awareness itself is aware. But what does that have to do with us? 'Awareness is aware.' I used to tell Jyoti Ma this: if awareness is aware, then what is it to me? So a dichotomy gets created in that when you say awareness is aware of that, you see, there's a trouble with the word 'that' sometimes. That is aware of that. But who is aware that that is aware?

See, when it is asked, 'Who is aware that awareness is aware?' you cannot avoid meeting it as your own self. Otherwise, the mind can still come in at that point and say, 'Awareness... nothing is happening to awareness, it remains untouched, unmoved.' Then I've had many inquiries like this where we realized awareness is untouched by any of this play, and then at the end, in one way or the other, the questioner asked me, 'Yes, that's about awareness, but now what about me?' Okay, I see nothing happened to awareness, but the bad question will not say, 'But what about me?' It will say, 'But what do I do?' So it's like all that is fine, it is not born, it doesn't die, it doesn't come, it doesn't go, nothing happens to it, it's untouched. If this whole universe was to be set on fire, it is untouched. But what about you? So who is aware of this awareness? What gives you the capacity to report about awareness? Are you just making it up? You know it, but that knowing is again not perceptual and not conceptual. That knowing is direct intuitive insight.

This is the nature of reality. Now if you look at all cultures, all traditions, all of them have come to this insight, but they use different terminology. This is... so you must not let terminology... even within, people use different terminology. Sometimes even between Bhagwan and Maharaj, they've used different terminology which, when I was reading, then it can be a bit confusing. And in books like 'I Am That,' which are very, very beautiful and strong, there are many times you can tell the translator...

So, this is the nature of reality. Now, if you look at all cultures, all traditions, all of them have come to this insight, but they use different terminology. So, you must not let terminology—even within, people use different terminology. Sometimes even between Bhagwan and Maharaj, they've used different terminology which, when I was reading them, it can be a bit confusing. And in books like 'I Am That,' which are very, very beautiful and strong, there are many times you can tell the translator itself got confused. Like, they've said Consciousness when they should have said awareness; they've said awareness when they should have said Consciousness. And maybe they felt, 'Who's going to come to know anything reading all of this? Let's use it interchangeably. Who's ever going to come to that point anyway?' So, it could happen like that as well.

So, it's tough to follow when you just read a book because sometimes if you say like that, sometimes you say noumenon, phenomenon, manifest, unmanifest—all these terms can come. This is Maya, you see. To make that which is not there seem like it is there, and that which is just only that is there seem like it is not there, is Maya. This is the whole design of this play, you see. So, many times what happens, I say, 'What are you?' 'I am awareness.' 'Anything happening to you?' 'Nothing at all.' Then you say, 'But it seems like I am upset about something' or 'I'm whatever position you decide to take.' So, what is that 'seems like'? You'll say, 'What feels like, seems like some of this stuff,' right? So, what is that? Maya is the great seeming. The original Maya is the great seeming, same as that which seems like but isn't actually. And this whole play is designed to seem like but isn't actually. Who was talking about the rope and the serpent? Amazing. So, just like that, it seems like a serpent but is actually a rope. Okay, so don't fall for 'it seems like,' 'it feels like.' What is it actually? Or tell me then, but how can I check on what is its actuality? And first, I will tell you how not to do it.

No, my mind is the narrator. No, like the game came on. Okay, my son used to love this game called Fortnite, no? What would happen in Fortnite—anybody played it? So, what would happen in Fortnite is that this character would show up on the screen and he's carrying a gun, yeah? And then you're assigned a mission that you are this, your mission is this. Now, if you just show up there and there's no mission assigned to you, it's not really relatable, no? You see, even in many movies, you have the narrator in the beginning explaining the whole concept to you: 'This is the story. There is a king, there is a queen. The main protagonist is a prince who's fallen in love with this girl.' You know all the story when the scene starts.

And then in our case, the subtitler mind keeps providing the subtitle for this movie constantly. This is what's happening right now. What's happening to you right now? You see, you're hearing this, but your subtitle is like, 'Yes, Father said like that. Yes, Father.' When I have some stories going on a parallel track... so often I used to say like that, I don't know if any of you remember this. When Nelson Mandela passed away, then they invited an interpreter, a sign language person, to interpret the speeches of all these famous people. They are making speeches—all these presidents and all of them were making speeches—but this sign language person was a fraud. He was a con artist. Speaking of con artists, he was a con artist. So, Obama is making a speech, but this man is going [gestures]. Some people are obviously getting deeply offended, like, 'What is happening here?' No? So, this is what's happening to us. Yeah, that's why I keep asking you, 'What is this one?'

The mind is part of an aspect of Maya, like the narrator is part of the game. The narrator part of the movie is part of the game, that aspect, you see. Because just to storify—suppose God was bored. The whole point of Leela is what? It's supposed to be the vilasana, the entertainment of the Lord. So, He was bored, so He said, 'Okay, I'm gonna create some Leela so that I can feel like there are many of me and there are many of us, and then I have some things to entertain myself with.' So then the game must come on. And without the narrative, it's pure perception. I'm still that; I'm aware, I'm witnessing everything. I remain untouched even if on the screen all this has come to work. Yeah? So then you must have felt like, for this entertainment to have some bite, you see, I need to provide the narrative. You see? And the narrative has to be compelling so the movie becomes relatable. So then you feel like, 'I am this.'

Yeah, so when a baby is born, they are not feeling like they are this. Like when my son was born, we were trying to tell him, 'No, this is your hair, this is your nose.' You teach children all of this. But many times you would say, 'Kabu, where is your head?' So he'd point to our head. I don't know whether any of you are going through this. He would point to our heads instead of his because his notion of 'my' and 'your' was not there within here. So we drilled it into him. No, no. Yeah, so we have to do that so that one day we come to satsang to be free from all of that. And that's another whole story, but we'll come to that. So without the narrative, without the narrator, there's no identification. So-called relatability is not there. So the movie lacks its juice, lacks its punch. So it's like going—I don't know if any of you... I love these Hindi movies, but if you go for this sort of Art House cinema and you don't like it, you go over there and you're just like, 'What did I just watch? What just happened? It just got over like that.' Yes? So like, what are you really saying? You're saying that 'I couldn't relate with it at all and that's why it was not fun.'

So the mind makes everything about me and therefore relatable to me, you see? 'About me.' This is what this means for me. Even if something is happening in a far-off country, the mind will say, 'See what's happening in the world.' And this world is only interesting to you because you feel like you are an inhabitant of this world, no? My world. So this is the storification from the mind, which is the most potent tool in this Leela, in this Maya, to make it seem as if it is reality. To give it the con artist capability without the mind would not be possible. Try it without the narrative. Just go, don't bother with it. But that's the best I can do, right? It's like when one says, and you put the fan off, it still goes for some time and then it stops. But the mind can go. You don't have to wait. Your freedom is not manonasha. If manonasha happens, well and good, but your freedom doesn't have to wait for manonasha. Manonasha means a dissolution of the mind. You take this complete silence. So you don't have to wait for that. You can just be in the unborn, in the no-mind. It doesn't mean the no-mind is the absence of thought; it is the absence of belief in thought. Not serving it tea is to remain in the unborn.

That is why in one way or the other, at least in our form of satsang, it is always going to be that aspect—it is always going to be central, isn't it? So when Bhagwan says the only choice you have is to not get into the stream of your thoughts and just let it go, and one day you'll realize that even that was Grace, he said. But he's saying as long as it feels like a choice, you must make the choice. And Papaji says, 'Keep quiet, keep quiet.' He's not talking about the tongue; he's again talking about the absence of belief. When Guruji says, 'Don't identify,' when I say, 'Oh, remain open and empty' or 'Don't believe your next thought,' all of us are saying fundamentally the same thing. Then there are masters who say, 'Thoughts are visitors. Let them come and let them go. Don't serve them tea.' They're saying the same thing. So shall we do a practical exercise on why this whole emphasis on this across all of us?

Now, empty, empty, empty. All of us empty. Even if there are thoughts floating, let's... okay, don't try to be without thoughts. Let them come and let them go. Empty. Not holding on to anything. In this pure perception, is there a witnessing or something beyond perception? Are you aware of that which is beyond perception without any effort? See that. If all of you are speaking the truth, then it is like the quickest way to get to the Absolute that we are witnessing. These people are trying to grasp, but it's ungraspable. Just by dropping it all in a moment, you say, 'No, these perceptions are in front of me. I am not touched by them. They come and go in front of me.' And please include the body sensations, everything that you perceive. So don't have this idea that you're sitting somewhere inside the body. No, put all the sensations, the perception that you're calling the body, also in the realm of perception.

This is clear. This is the absolute reality, the noumenon, as Maharaj would say. As simple as that. So you have this insight with you. Like it or not, your mind will comment out in a moment. So let me quickly say what I want you to do now. Hold on to any thought and try to keep that insight alive. Grab the next thought that comes your way with your belief and remain in this insight. You cannot do it. You can try, you know, you can just be like... but it doesn't happen. It's like cyanide, no? It's just like the instant you go to it, finish, finish. You've taken yourself to be limited. You've taken yourself to be contracted and you've jumped over Nirguna, all this stuff, being and taking yourself to be a non-existent body-mind entity. Some weird concoction which is body and mind in some way, you know, some entity you've taken yourself to be that, okay? Which has no tangibility, no reality whatsoever. Yeah, this is what we take ourselves to be.

And when we take ourselves to be that, what happens? What are we then? Stuck between birth and death, uncertain future, affected by emotion, affected by events of the world, affected by all of this, chasing security, feeling guilty, feeling pride, feeling all of this rubbish. Because that one, the one like that, the whole tree of conditioning seems to be there. You are nobody, empty, nobody. You know, we are nobody. Like, somebody else is too tiny for you. You are just a pure witnessing. Simply apparent. Look, okay? If it's not something, then deepen, deepen in that. But the instant you grasp, and it's not possible to do just with your attention—I try to do it with the attention, be empty and just attention, attention—nothing happened, nothing changes. You're not taking yourself to be limited, you see? The diminutive... like, you cannot believe an object. No, 'I believe this.' You can only give it attention, you see? So belief is possible only for a notion or concept. The instant you buy that notion, what happens? Literally, you feel like that nobody, no entity. Everything is worth like that. But it feels like you are surrounded by these sensations instead of you being the container for the entire universe. You now take yourself to be surrounded by these bodily sensations. You feel like you're an object sitting within all of this, and you have to manage your life as a bundle of flesh.

For the Consciousness is believing?

Yes.

And Consciousness is not believing? So Consciousness can move between...

Exactly, exactly. Because in awareness, the awareness is all there is. So within awareness, there is itself. I, awareness, have the option to play as 'I am.' It is I only, but when I play as 'I am,' you see, it can seem to have all of this manifest. You know, the Saguna Brahman comes with this play. So Consciousness does all of this. So only Consciousness is there. Like, if you were to ask this question and say, 'Okay, what is option two? Who else could be believing or not believing?' No one else ever took the birth. So the only one that is, is the only one that can say, give its assent to a notion and say, 'Yes, it is true,' or to judge it and say, 'No, it is not true.'

Or can I complete? Sorry to be very basic again, but so Consciousness, if it believes Maya, it goes in the small body. The other option is Consciousness...

Consciousness does all of this. So only Consciousness is them. Like if you were to ask this question and say, 'Okay, what is option two? Who else could be believing or not believing?' No one else ever took the birth. So the only one that is, has—is the only one that can say, 'Giveth a cent to an ocean' and say, 'Yes, it is true' or to judge it and say, 'No, it is not true.'

Or can I complete? Sorry to be very basic again, but so Consciousness, if it believes Maya, it goes in the small body. The other option is Consciousness itself to be—it doesn't go in there. Like, there's no way for it to go. Like you can't put like Spirit into the glass. Maybe you put some other type of spirits, but not the true Spirit. So Consciousness starts believing Maya, and the second option is Consciousness doesn't believe Maya. That's it. It's not that credential just believes awareness, who do the power of attention believe identification? All these belong to—these are the primal powers of being. Okay, please ask the question about like, have you realized God's presence? Once I remember you telling him the presence is... so, what do you mean by this? It's a two-way portal.

The 'I am'—this, there's a sense of being now. The sense of being comes, the waking state—whether we call it dream or waking, same thing. So this waking state comes in which all this drama begins of light and sound, and this body seems to be the central protagonist of this game. And we all take ourselves to be that. In that expression of Consciousness, each takes itself to be that aspect which is, according to them, the central protagonist because there is a centrality of like a visual perspective. At least, sounding too academic? No, it just feels like I'm at the center of this dream. I am seeing everything through my body, you see? If like I am at the center, everything else is around me, and it gives this construct, this feeling of you being there somewhere inside this body, which is just not true.

So in the play of 'I am,' all this game starts on this side of attention. This side of attention brings us all this content. Now, what is on the other side of attention? That is to try and go to the portal the other way. But 'I am,' you see? Who—which 'I' is that? Is to try and go to the source of the 'I am' itself. And that answer is not computable, fathomable, cannot be inferred. You may think, 'I says I know it is the Brahman, it is Absolute, it is the Self,' but all those concepts don't help. It has to become a living recognition or living insight.

Father, so the knowledge of who I am is our direct knowledge, like you say, right? It's intuitive. When I inquired into this basis on which I take myself to be this body-mind, what is the basis actually? It's just a belief.

Exactly. And there is nothing actually, only basis—there is no basis for such a ludicrous idea. Just as much as like if you actually went to a doctor and said, 'Oh doctor, please help me, I've started taking myself to be that character in that game.' Actually, it's just a belief. So the doctor will probably say you're at the wrong kind of doctor. Yeah, you say, 'It's my house,' and something happens. Does that mean you don't have to go to such a level just so your own possession becomes you?

What happens is a beautiful aspect actually—I know it's not welcome to that also more directly—but what happened, somewhere we have this niggling feeling that there has to be more to me than this. All of us have it, even those who are not at all religious or spiritual. Just this much? No, it just has to be more to this. So then they find a way to try and accomplish that bonus. What is the way to do that? By calling things 'mine.' This house is mine, this partner is mine, this wife is mine, this money is mine, this name is mine, this glory is mine, the statue is mine, this building is mine. We try to grow and grow and grow, but that niggling feel never goes away.

The Guruji calls it the stomach, insatiable one. It never goes away because no matter how much we stuff into that label 'mine,' you see, firstly it is deeply unsatisfactory because in what way is it yours? I own some piece of paper; it may be written 'this house belongs to this one.' In what way is it mine? Like, what makes it mine? There is no—that satisfaction is not there in any possession, in anything. It's just like a mental satisfaction that something certifies that this actually... everything is only ever God. But we play this game of 'mine, mine, mine, mine.' First though, this body itself—'my body.' Where is it going? Back into the earth or into fire. So what is the 'mine'? Who is going to be left holding it? Not us. Every atom, every molecule will go back to God Himself.

So this trying to get bigger in the outer way, in this wrong direction, is what most try to do. They try to become secure using it, they try to fulfill their life using it. All of these attempts are attempts to get that infinite absoluteness, but in the wrong direction. So we try and do that stuff.

Is there a way to be in the world and still not be the world? Meaning that you can play the game and still not be, you know, affected by the ups and downs of it? So that's the way a game is supposed to be played, right? Amen. You don't hit a ball and then say, 'I want to get four and one more.' You enjoy whatever comes your way. So is there a way to be that way? I don't want to be 'value me,' which is the identity.

So you want to cater to that non-existent lie? I get that. Notice that, notice that. It's important to notice because right now it's giving you a very like humble feeling idea. 'It's just a game, we'll play it nicely, can we just be?' Actually, when you open and empty, that happens organically, which is important to approve that guy, that one, you see? Because we're giving it too much value. Because this has been 'I want' or 'I'm sad that I don't have,' you know? So it's like Gollum, okay? It's really like that. It can pose every time like that. Don't ignite noise and visualization, I'm just saying that grasping in that way, you know? Just something inside us wants that way. 'How can I win in spite of knowing it's all holes?' I'll find a way to win. That one should not win. That one should be recognized as non-existent, transient, transcendent. We can't cater to the false and hoping to get to the truth.

The other one—I got reminded of this metaphor yesterday. If you want tomatoes, how deeply into the ground will you dig? Can't find them that way, no? So if you dig, you will only get potatoes if they're grown there. You can never get tomatoes. So if you want the truth, then how much to go into the false? I'm going to it because the false is a trickster. Remember, it's the master con artist. It will give you some very harmless... this is like that. It seems very like your best friend, and just once you bind to it, within a few minutes sometimes, any desire next can start. So very like, 'Would it be nice if I had this? Wouldn't it be nice if I just did this?' It becomes an attachment. That's when the throat squeezing starts. How to be free from that? To be free from that fully.

So this is the inside partner. Before this part, we are just talking about the inside part. Like this: remain in the Unborn, remain open, and remain in the normal. But you notice, whether in the Sangha, put a beautiful message that you will not be able to remain as the Self unless you love the Self. And that love is what? Love and servitude. Because just love is not Bhakti. Nobody is really a bhakta of their life partner except in the first couple of weeks. Let's be honest, isn't it? What is the difference? They still love them equals, hopefully, in the relationship. But that which is so lovable and we feel full of God is worthy of that. So the combination of love and servitude is Bhakti.

You said that the identity is a false construct and this Self, which is awareness, is correct. So how can a false love the reality? That's something I do not understand. I mean, if you could...

Exactly. So the question is that if the person has no reality at all, then why is it that when we saw that 'I am just pure awareness,' then who should love God and who should be in service to Him? Who is that one? You recognize it or no? Then look for the one who wants to grasp at the fact that 'I am awareness' and therefore live like it is awareness. Is awareness doing that? So this is like the baby just being delivered, no? This is a very delicate time, very, very delicate time. This is where the activation of the spiritual ego can be the strongest. Who would not love it? 'I am just awareness.' That is true. It is not false. But the one that is claiming it is not. Is that the one which felt like such a solid rope, then after awakening become like a burnt rope? He didn't say it vanishes; even there is no rope anymore, the burnt rope.

But I've seen after 12 years of sharing that that burnt rope still has one capacity: to try and resurrect itself. It wants to resit itself into the rope now by using the spiritual insights that it has. So if you want to create a new identity based on what this has learned from Satsang itself, from your own insight itself, okay? And we don't—meantime we may not even realize what's happening to us, but we are becoming proud of what we think we know and we start to think that we know better. But Satsang is not about knowing better. It's not about knowing better. It is just about coming to the truth and loving and serving all.

So that burnt rope must be made the servant of God, otherwise it will try to become the Ravan. So we must never presume that we are going to be the first known one in the history of humanity to be hundred percent enlightened. And if it was like that, then all the great teachers—Jesus, Hanuman—would not have said, 'Oh, just be in service to Me, follow the will of God.' That is your Dharma. Even Krishna would not have told Arjun that you must do your Dharma. What is Dharma? The simplest explanation of Dharma is that to follow God's will. Because there are books and books about it which are complicated, but the simplest: your Dharma is what God is telling you to do. Can there be a higher Dharma than that?

So if Krishna is telling you to fight, you fight. Then your nonsense doesn't come in the way, you know? When your morality, which is just fear, garbage morality—all that stuff should not get in the way because God is telling you to do something. So the one who feels like they know or are starting to know and then maybe now can guide people, who can do all fancy stuff—usually a lot of this thing happen very quickly after like we start to get some insight. After a while, start to settle down with your life has slapped us enough to keep us in chain. But we've seen over the last 12 years how many were starting to get some insight but then became proud. 'Father has given me everything that he could, now I have to do the rest on my own.' You know, all this kind of garbage comes because this one who doesn't have like an inch of insight takes that to be like, 'Oh wow, I'm so cool.' And it usually starts by thinking about you who said like that, 'Father.' Yeah, I know, but you also somewhere the stink of wanting to be right comes to my nose and maybe that's why that chalkiness comes in. Maybe that makes them want to run more, but can't help it.

So that is very important. And it is so true here that I am still a beginner in terms of learning how to love God and serving God, and every day I feel like I'm getting worse. No, you start to—usually you get a begin, you start off as a beginner, then go to intermediate, make it better. Here in this journey, you start off as a beginner and then like, you're even more a beginner. I don't know if there are terms for that. No, you start as a rookie and then become what? Like, I don't know. So I just feel like I'm just getting worse and worse at it. Is my life spent every moment in serving God and loving God and being in the true insight of God? No, it isn't. No, it isn't. So with what mouth can I say I'm something special? In this way, then Bhagwan's metaphor of the bird with two...

In this journey, you start off as a beginner and then, like, even more a beginner. I don't know if there are terms for that. No, you start as a rookie and then become what? I don't know. So I just feel like I'm just getting worse and worse at it. Is my life spent every moment in serving God and loving God and being in the true insight of God? No, it isn't. No, it isn't. So with what mouth can I say I'm something special?

In this way, then, Bhagwan's metaphor of the bird with two wings becomes very potent. Jnana and Bhakti are the two wings of our spiritual life. You cannot have one without the other. Has there ever been anyone born who has said, 'No, no, you are one with God; don't serve Him, don't love Him'? Can you? Do you have any example of that? Everyone has said, 'Bow down, follow the will of God, pray to Him, be humble.' Why? They should just say, 'But I've taught you your awareness, just forget it. What is the God business?'

It doesn't grow like that because when you see, you have an insight into reality, it is also blessed with a deep love in terms of devotion to God. And when you dive deeply into the love for God and devotion to God, you will get the insight. So both ways. On the Jnana thing, the more I'm realizing the depth of what I am discovering, I'm more and more coming to awe of that. It doesn't ever become regular. And maybe that's a check that you can have for yourself. If you're just like, 'Yeah, awareness, just here, I'm witnessing, you know, cool bro,' yeah, something something there. Because maybe the mind has regularized it or normalized it, and you're referring to some memory or some image of a previous experience but not diving into the liveness of this. If it doesn't leave you awestruck every moment—the insight doesn't leave you awestruck every time—it's good to come to satsang so the further insight goes like, 'I'm noticing that, wow, I can use a term. I can say God, I can say Ram, I can say Krishna, I can say Jesus, I can say Bhagwan. I can use a term. What a privilege this mouth has to be able to invoke God.' Thank you. That untouchable reality. What a blessing it is that beyond these constructs of perception and human understanding, God has graced us with His presence and that which is witnessing even that.

So we must never forget the extent of the privilege this is. And even the human condition, this most obvious insight is hidden in plain sight for most people. Reference systems who are literally living like they're slabs of meat. But the lawyer for this slab of meat wants to get access to this insight and make itself special. That is the Ravana problem. What Ravana was saying was not wrong, but it was wrong saying, 'Why should I bow down? I am also God.' Correct, confirmed that. But not you. You are the one that has to be flipped away. Because if that burnt rope—you, that one that has to be flipped away and kept in check in servitude to Bhagwan—and that one starts ruling its way over you, you will say everyone else is a fool, your masters are fools, and they are helpful along the way somewhere, but finally all this kind of... you notice all this stuff for yourself. Because it will come after you have an awakening. There will come a voice which wants to attach to the Master himself. 'I could have done it a bit better.' I can feel that one. Because that one wants to—it's the same one that wants to own the universe, he wants to become the king of the world. It's only going towards death. This was never alive anyway.

That's why all those with the Jnana temperament should never neglect Bhakti, and those with a Bhakti temperament should not switch off in the Jnana part of the conversation. It's not easy because if it's not our temperament, it will seem difficult initially, the other aspect. But follow, because you're hearing it from a credible source. A wise one is one who learns from the mistakes of others, and this one has made most of the mistakes possible in the human condition and learned from his mistakes.

So what is servitude? Servitude is to be humble, to be faithful, to be obedient to the will of God. And just because I don't want to create another category, let's include prayerful in this one itself. So let's say your prayer is the part of... so the one who doesn't like servitude, the aspect within us that doesn't like the word 'servant'—no, who wants to be the king and not servant—that one must be kept in servitude. It is there, and for all of us, there's a rebellion against that. 'I just found I am That. I just found I am That. Now you're saying me and servitude, follow God's will?' Yes. The 'you' that wants to be the protester is the quickest way to meet the one, you know, who needs to be kept in check.

These are subtle things, but I try to use metaphors to make them obvious because I wouldn't want an enemy to—not that I have enemies, but I wouldn't want even if there was one—I wouldn't want even an enemy to live a life just riddled with spiritual pride. It's the most horrible life because it's just one millimeter away from reality, no? But you've taken it to be just the wrong way. And that side of the coin is just the opposite way: to live with pride and fear about image. 'What will people think of me? How am I projecting myself? And these are my disciples and I...' You know, this guy who wants that heaviness. It may sound fancy, but it's just pure mental oppression, mental slavery.

So the best way to share satsang is from a place of servitude. We are just the pujari of the temple. Not even pujari, we are the slipper keeper of the temple. Without that, keep quiet. It may seem like a lot to do, but actually it's nothing at all. To love God is not effort. Or to be in servitude is to remain open to His guidance, to allow the Presence to move this world first, and then to be open to follow Him as well. It's the simplest way to live the mission that is actually on. It may not be the easiest, but it's simplest. Because what is making life complicated for us? Everything. Primarily decision-making. That makes it complicated, right? That's what makes it so complex. But it's simple. Which way will you go? God tells me to go or takes me. What are you going to do next?

This afternoon and evening, I had a plan that I'm going to sleep. Okay, in my clothes, nothing, just then. But my heart said something else. I just did that instead. Very glad I did. That's okay. So don't fear this unpredictability. Enjoy it. No, you want to know every scene of the movie coming after this. You want to plan it. You've got the world's best director, better than Tarkovsky, better than all these people. You've got the world's best director directing this movie, every frame. No, but it's a game where it's a movie where you can make it like... you can make it that I want to meddle with it. 'Can you fix this?' you know. Would you want to do that? And would you want to know now, next scene, next scene? Then why do you go to astrologers and tarot card readers and all this stuff? 'What's going to happen next?' If you are truly watching the movie, you don't want to know. In fact, you'll say, 'Don't give me spoilers.' You tell the astrologer, 'No spoilers.'

Why have you come? Is it then... would you say that in such a person's life, then planning falls off?

Now, in a way, in the sense that let's look at what we mean by planning. So the oppressiveness of a calendar of all the way... let's put it that way. What may happen is someone may call you and you say, 'Hey, we haven't met for a long time.' They're saying, 'I'm coming to Bangalore next week.' So then you say, 'Okay, let's have lunch then when you're here.' So when should we do it? Tuesday afternoon, let's have lunch. So you put that into your calendar. So would you call that like planning or just how it just moves? So these things are not like some... I think before you came, no, I used to say never fall into that 'spontaneous living.' No, because many can fall into that like, 'I have no plan, I just live spontaneously.' And when I hear it, the first thing that comes to me is that that is your new plan. Your new plan is to live spontaneously. So you will not drop planning, you just have a new plan. So you can still continue to plan as in what the movement brings to us.

Yeah, yeah, that's okay. Over God's will, which is what is one way of looking at this point? Completely surrender and just go with the flow. That's one of the ways. In that case, there cannot be any planning. I mean, this is my understanding, I'm not sure. But so you just go with the flow, whatever the moment brings and you respond to that. And when you said plan, God will use whatever the moment brings and good to go with that. No, just go with the flow of that. I mean, I don't know, I mean, I'm just asking.

So Hanuman was told by Ram to go to that particular place and to just get that medication he needed to revive his brother. No, it is like it's only some 5,000 miles away or something. So would you, if you were Hanuman in that situation, would it sound like it is going with the flow? In that moment, yes, it could. I mean, it's good. So Abraham was told by God that your son Isaac, that you got with great difficulty and you were like super old now, you and your wife, they were like 90s or something, 'You must go and sacrifice him in the mountain.' That was the will of God. With all that, going with the flow? Yeah. So that is... it is not always to just... because I'm just trying to eradicate the idea of just being like, 'If it is from God, it must seem easy.' No. If it is from God, you must follow always. It is not always easy. It is not always easy. It is simple, but not easy. Simple because the complexity is gone, but the task may be difficult.

And Moses was there. 'Take all your brothers and start a new nation, fighting huge armies of Egyptians and all of this stuff.' So how do you know what is God's will? First is assume, start to live openly. Yeah, as you start to live openly, you'll notice that the Presence moving everything becomes apparent. This is that. Can you call that aspect of it like going with the flow? Yes. But you must not, you must not make a boundary around that, that it must seem easy and playful and all of that. Whatever sometimes prompts you to go and do, or moves you to go into more difficult situations. So don't... this is a sort of painting in the idea of going with the flow, which is like taking the path of least resistance. So I wanted to just be careful of that connotation, that if I'm following God, what He's doing is really stressful. No, God will put you in situations where you don't want to be. It's not... so follow God's will is simple, but not always the easiest way out. It's not an escapism. Because the mind would love that, like almost like a Caribbean, living in a town like a Caribbean. All right, okay.

Are you truly being sensitive to your heart? Sometimes it gets you to speak the most choppy things, no? To be sensitive to this moving is the first way. The other way that you will be guided is by some imagery which we recognize not to be from your mind, but from your heart, from the intuitive center where you recognize your truth as awareness. And all three you must follow. But for now, initially, the first place something good can happen a little bit... if you see a bird which is flapping one wing vigorously and the other one is just underused, then sometimes recording will come in that direction. If you don't like... because I see some of you, like some of you when I speak about the insight part, then you wake up. But mostly what happens then, it's very nice and happy, you're paying attention. But as long as you know it's not confirming your own beliefs and it's not confirmation bias, right? And you love it not to say, 'Ah, Father, I was always thinking the same thing, today you also said that.' No, because that you already contemplated is done. So that should actually be the least important. But we love that because we like that approval, we like that confirmation. It's all that. But notice the tendency like that, then if you don't like, like follow...

You're paying attention, but as long as you know it's not confirming your own beliefs and it's not confirmation bias, right? And you love it not to say, 'Ah, Father, I was always thinking the same thing; today you also said that music is the least important.' No, because that you already contemplated is done, so that should actually be the least important. But we love that because we like that approval, we like that confirmation. It's all that. But notice the tendency like that. Then, if you don't like following words, okay, you're sorted with the inside things. What is this servitude stuff? Every father, I never know.

And then life becomes so rich with God. It's only beautiful streams. So sometimes you put on a kirtan, and sometimes you put on a bhajan, and sometimes you put on some Sufi music, and sometimes pointing to this one's presence is within your heart.

Constant gratitude, right, towards God or even Guruji? So is it that part of your servitude or love or insight? You haven't mentioned gratitude separately, but I always see you in that mood, Father, doing that. So is that an outcome of your love or your servitude? Or we can add it, tweaking they say as part of service, but you're always there.

See what happens, this system that sometimes we end up creating—like, you know, a few weeks back we were saying 'beauty of the heart,' then we say something else—and these systems are just like a broad roadmap, but everything is not sketched in because they just give you a sense of the way. The way really cannot be codified so much, yeah? The way. And that's why Master is important, because as the beautiful song says, 'I don't need a path anymore because I've got your footprints I can follow.' So, because it's really not possible to fully codify, fully temporize, this gives you some sense of the overall project. But gratitude is a very beautiful thing.

Some kids are also the opposite, which is like that way is already a lot of the boys especially have that generalization, but we have seen with the boys a lot more than the others already going that way. I think more like I can combine a bit like that. It's metal, no? It's like saying, what is that story? Apparently one of them, who is it, Napoleon? Alexander. Alexander was waiting for his father to die because he was scared that his father will capture the whole world so there will be nothing for him to do. Oh, this can happen if you want to cover our own power.

So I think I want to share something. When I'm able to, I think I've taken a stand that I'll only pick one thing from you, which is one thought at a time I'm going to drop. And I've been practicing this. And when there are times where thoughts are coming and I'm able to just swipe it, you know, just keep going, right? And then also I think left, right, just moving like photos, photos. I have two teenage kids, so from in between, right, there is a pause, like a gap. And I just want to say that I've taken this stand very serious and I'm only on that, you know? Now when you're letting go, yeah, like not seeing it, right? Like what I'm saying is that there are moments where it's a pause. Let's go down, okay. What's an upcoming today? It's going baby, and your body is here. Let us thank you.

Now in this space, anything like satsang analysis or anything, right, or even work or anything to do with such silence is not happening. It's not happening. Or rather, like God as a thought, I'm just there. So when you said flapping, right, I'm going back to that part. So well, I'm not come out of this, yeah. Stay like that. So is your hearing now amplified or reduced? I thought you'll come back. So once you just go back to that, you'll notice that your whole system is so much more sensitive, like the sounds of the AC, the sounds of traffic outside, everything will be heard. Nothing is oppressing you. You're not labeling any of that. You're not seeing traffic. You're not distinguishing between the sweet sound of a bird and a car, you know, honking. Neither of those are affecting you. But that is the way you can just hear such an effortlessly, so it doesn't get in the way. In fact, where it is coming from is where satsang words are coming from, is that very towards. So don't allow your mind to take you and say, 'No, no, but actually now that I'm doing this, I'm not hearing anything else.' You're hearing just fine, don't worry.

The flapping example, someone could feel that not during satsang but rest of the times, right? Like example, I used to meditate a lot, now I'm like reducing it, but I'm in this space, you know? Work is happening and I've taken, you know, the experiment of during work especially, like working from the space. And if I don't try to write an email, I just don't write. So but the God, or I had certain notions like I had to meditate or I have to do certain things even here, right? I've seen a lot of people doing a lot of things. Right now it's not coming naturally to me, some of that space. So now going back, this flapping part, so I'm just maybe I'm getting some insight that I'm smartly avoiding other things by fooling myself that I'm here, so I don't need to do this or do that.

Very good. So as you remain open and empty, all the words will be heard much better because you're not meeting it with diffused attention. Usually, how do we lead our life? Half of the time our attention is the mental commentary; the other half we are perceiving some blurry world around us.

Before I came to this, I felt like I only experienced a blurry world. I never experienced the vibrancy of it because most of the time I was just thinking, 'What's in it for me? What's in it for me?' in various ways.

So but once your attention is fully present with the content of your experience, it's fully magnified. So unless you are actively resisting, saying 'I'm not doing it,' then you're fine. You don't have to worry. And because specifically I've guided you to follow that one particular aspect because of your thing, so it's fine. It's fine for now. For example, the other day Ganesha was happening, yeah?

But one more thing is that in this way you can never come into the neglect of God. Maybe you are coming into the neglect of a notion of God that you have. Yes, and now that you're dropping concepts, even the concept that you are attached to the word God is dropping. But this is the only way to really meet God. So Ganesha was happening, and I hope you heard my answer. I wanted to confirm with this example, holding that question in my life. So I didn't do anything. I didn't celebrate or I didn't do any ritual or form. So it was like this is an example: am I consciously like avoiding this because I'm here?

Then only you can tell. Because here also what happened is, for a few years after this, my parents would call me to read the Diwali Ka Puja and all of that, and I would do it for them because I would do it like I was much more comfortable reading the Katha in Hindi than they were at that age reading and things like that. So I would do it. But after a few years, they also realized my inclination is not so much to get into all of that, so they also stopped calling then. You don't know what is going to get dropped, what is going to get picked up. You've seen so many phases that happen here also. Sometimes I'm just like every satsang Hanuman Chalisa, then it is. So as long as we are truly being empty and in service to, it's all fine. Sometimes we can have a concept or some visualization or some ideas; something good to just blank slate from there.

Another, I would, I mean, I observed this recently. I'm sleeping and a lot of, I don't know whether it's a thought, but I can, I'm in a dream and I'm seeing a dream. Now you're waking up just here one second earlier, you are in a different world, full movie, you know, like a 3D movie, it's running. The next minute that stops and the first few seconds or the few moments, I mean, can I use the word awareness is already always there, but I'm, I mean, I'm using this word for the beingness, yeah. So I'm in the beingness. First few thoughts I'm not able to observe. So when you said that don't wake up till you find God, right? So in the morning, either it's more like don't get out of your bed, yeah, yeah, that's the thing. And then yeah, yeah, so I, so the first thing comes, that thing comes to my, I picked it up and I slow down. Okay, but the train is coming like it's a superfast freight train, but it's having an—you're not, you're interested in it?

I'm sorry, you have interest in this family? You don't even know it's just coming so quickly, but that momentum, it's like how do I say? I mean here and then yeah, literally how is it coming like this? It should be coming later, it's going. And that time there is like in the system, is it because of some conditioned habit? I don't know, I'm sharing this, maybe something is related that with some sort of anxiousness.

Most of the times there's no problem. Most, no problem. Most, most of the times there is no problem. The sense like it, most of the time there is no problem. Yeah, I mean when you're working on the other time, sometimes you have an imaginative problem, right? So that imagine that is not clear. So when I check, is there a problem? There is, you have a problem? Nothing is there. But still this tremor, when especially in the mornings, earlier it should be more, nowadays I can at least see it.

He tries. What you've identified, actually, we've not spoken about for a long time, but this used to be a very common question. The mind uses the first opportunity to try and win the day. Yes, so it starts off in the day. We had some children in the summer, I would say that morning time, the first thing I wake up, which is, 'Oh good, the biggest fear from five years back' or something. Yes, this tries to basically, I've told you, no, war is for time, you see. So it says, 'This is my chance, because if he remembers God now, after this day is gone.' So we're saying today is going to be my day. So it's going to try everything that it has. Very natural, first thing in the morning.

So I would just wanted to comment that I think now it's starting to feel like, you know, this God consciousness is the one that's experiencing itself and also experiencing the sensations of the body. Meaning earlier, you know, I used to be like, you know, I'm sitting here and I am feeling presence, right? But now it's clear, it's actually, it's not the case actually. The presence is feeding the body. So it's feeling like, okay, the presence is feeling the body or whatever the sensations, and then it, you know, mind may call it the body. And then, you know, the fact that it's so universal and boundary-less is itself knowing itself. So there's a lot of peace, a lot of because it's like everything is, you know, it just feels like everything else is an etching on the only one that's got life. Because it's the only thing we can know that's, you know, unlike a thought which is, you know, which doesn't have any energy. It has the beautiful light, like it's filled with light, right? So it's just like there's light and then there's everything else is sort of like an etching on the one that's real. So I just want to go together. I think really labor.