Who Is the One Who Is Touched? - Jan. 5, 2015

This appearance is called Maya because it has a seductive appeal in some way. You see, this Maya has a seductive appeal. It tries to tempt you, tempt you into giving it belief. 'Yes, yes, I understand what is being said in satsang, but actually I'm still this person.' This is what Maya tries to convince you about. 'I must be... I must be a wife, I must be a husband, I must be a seeker, I must be good, I must be bad.' All these are judgments only from the mind, you see. Awareness is none of this. Pure beingness also is none of this. Unassociated being is also none of this, isn't it? Then what labels are we picking up? We are giving ourselves labels of the ghost which exists only in our imagination.

There's a story in the Yoga Vasistha about this monster—like, it looks like a monster anyway—which is in deep suffering. Why? Because it's got a hundred hands and he's hitting himself with those hands, and then he says that 'I'm constantly suffering.' This hundred-handed monster or thousand-handed monster is continuously hitting himself and saying that 'I'm in suffering.' So why do we do this? Why do we do this? How do we do this? We give a belief to any thought. Give a belief to any thought, no matter how innocuous or harmless it might seem, but this will cause suffering.

And belief is so much, so much easy to handle. We've seen many of you have been in satsang, so you know that attention seems to be difficult to manage because attention we cannot seem to control so easily. You say attention just goes there, it goes there, you see. So attention can go, but without belief you will not be able to suffer. So you keep buying all of these thoughts and then you say, 'Why am I continuing to suffer?' We said that don't buy anything from this salesman called the mind. Every single satsang, every satsang that you have been to, you've heard: don't buy anything from this salesman called the mind. But it happens that something seems strong or something seems meaningful.

What is the meaning of strong? You see, I hear this term quite often in satsang, that something is very strong. So let's look into this 'strong.' What makes something strong? Strong is that which has been nourished in the past. The identity which has been nourished in the past, when that comes, we say, 'Okay, this is so strong,' you see, because it has been nourished. It's been nurtured. It's been given food and water through our attention and belief, and then when this comes, we say that this is so strong. Actually, it is nothing. A thought is a thought is a thought. An emotion is an emotion is an emotion. Just energy playing out. There is no way that this energy can actually touch you.

If you feel something is being touched, then this also might be good because then you must look for this one. Who is the one who is hurting? Who is the one who is touched? Can you find? Cannot find. So when you cannot find, then you see, okay, who am I in all of this? If I'm not this one, then who am I in all of this? Am I not the pure seeing which is aware of all of this coming and going? And is that pure seeing touched by any of this?

M says, 'I feel I have to lay down, don't feel good here. Is it okay to stay in the hangout?' Yes, my dear, of course you can stay. Good. Yes, yes, yes.

This 'strong'—stop even labeling it strong, you see. When you say strong, already you give it too much belief, already you give it too much importance. There is nothing strong for awareness, only strong for identity. When we see strong thoughts are coming, strong for who? Is it awareness saying, 'No, no, I can't deal with these thoughts'? Is it awareness saying like that? Is it your being which is saying, 'I can't deal with these thoughts'? There's only another idea which you had about yourself, which was the person. All these things—'Oh, this is so unfair, life is so unfair.'

Lisa, Ombati is from America, so an American term is coming up here. Maybe that's, you see... so when this comes, that some identification like this is coming, you say, 'Let's see some ID.' They say that in America, 'Let's see some ID.' So who's asking? Who's feeling that something is strong? Can we find this one? Let's ask this one to produce an ID card. Who are you before you buy anything from it? Let's see some ID.

The Divine mystery actually is that even after knowing that all that causes suffering for me is just my thought, and all that is needed is to drop my belief from my next thought, in spite of so clearly seeing it, how you can give yourself so much trouble is the Divine mystery.

Actually, one thing that I've had trouble with lately is that peace is always present, but joy is really... I have not had it in a while, and so I'm not understanding that. And the other thing I'm struggling with a little bit is that I'm reacting to things. Like a big thing can happen, like a car accident or a breast lump, and somehow those things are okay. But a little thing like someone cutting me off in traffic and I just want to, you know, say bad things to people about that. So I'm not understanding reactions like that. And then I have those reactions and then I judge them. Well, I've, you know, I've been to the mountain twice and I've been with gurus and in satsang, and why is this still happening? So I am in a position of judging it and feeling like something is wrong.

She said first that peace is here but joy is not coming, not come. And I say very often in satsang also that if I was never to experience any more joy, any more love, any more peace, it will be completely okay because what I am truly is not asking for these also. All these are in service to what I am; I am not in service to them. So if I was to say, 'Can you stop being now?' what would you say? You cannot stop being. Not possible to stop being.

So this being which cannot be stopped, what is that? That is the holy presence of Consciousness, the holy presence of I am. This is God himself, this being. And if I would say, 'Go find this being,' then it seems to get a little foggy, isn't it? 'I can't find, it's a presence here.' Sometimes I feel the presence, other times it's just not there—like that the mind can say. But when I say, 'Can you stop being now?' you see, it is not possible. There is something which is here, just here, this.

Then who is aware even of this being? There is awareness even of this pure presence. There is an awareness even of that. And if you were to try and find some separation between you and this awareness, you would not be able to find. You are aware of being. Are you aware now? Yes, you say yes simply. I am aware now. It is not a phenomena which is required even to confirm this. I don't need to see a state of love, I don't need to see a state of joy, I don't even need peace to confirm that I am aware now.

So what is confirming automatically? Awareness being aware of itself. So this awareness, this one is not asking for anything. It is not asking for any state. All states are allowed to come and go and it makes no difference actually to awareness whether this state or another state is coming or going. It is the mind which says that, 'Okay, freedom means this checklist of states: love should be here, peace should be here, joy should be here.' Whose conditions are these?

It feels as if those things should be the natural byproducts of the...

Yes, but in saying that, but in setting the condition, we don't allow the byproducts to be natural. Because when we have an expectation that they should come, then the naturality of them vanishes. See what I'm saying? So in just this pure presence of being, or just in the pure seeing as awareness itself, there is no need for even these. Because like you rightly said, if these are the byproduct, then they are not the main stuff. The main stuff is already here, ever-present.

But then we must not gauge our freedom based on which state is appearing or not appearing. There is no set template, there is no standard process: okay, first peace, then joy, love. It's not like that, you see. It flows in its own beautiful way, this. But you cannot stop being and you're always aware. In this, there is freedom. So that means that awareness is there and beingness is ever-present, at least in the waking state.

If you're here as awareness, then does it have any preconditions? Does it have any expectations of any state? As simple as this. It doesn't matter. Joy comes, joy goes. If you start saying 'me' or 'mine' to anything in this appearance, including these states or feelings, then it's a lining up for trouble for the future. 'Oh yes, joy is here, that means yes, yes, I must be free now.' That's why Mooji also speaks about the very sober realization. Sober seeing doesn't have to be accompanied with all the fireworks, all the... because it is again a personal desire to have certain states. It is not a desire from God, it is not a desire from awareness. It is the person that says—the seeker actually that says—that 'I have been seeking, seeking, and my finding will mean that the presence of all these states will be.' But this seeker is not here. This seeker is not here because the person never existed. We've looked, many have looked in satsang, and we can never find this person. We only find that it is a set of ideas. All the beliefs which we carry at this point of time means the person. 'I'm like this, this way, that way'—it just is this fictional character which you have given a lot of detail to and you define that as the person. But you say, can you find him now? Can you find her now? You won't.

I mean that the presence of all these states will be, but this seeker is not here. This seeker is not here because the person never existed. We've looked—many have looked in satsang—and we can never find this person. We only find that it is a set of ideas, all the beliefs which we carry at this point of time. It means the person—'I'm like this, this way, that way'—just is this fictional character which you've given a lot of detail to, and you define that as the person. But you say, 'Can you find him now? Find her now? Where is this person?'

Then you feel that okay, maybe the body... the body is the person. That comes like this. But then we say, if you look at the last ten conflicts that you had, you realize that they have very little to do with the body. More like we said, the number one thing is about relationships, then about some work or money or something like that. The body is not concerned. The body is not saying, 'I want a handsome husband.' The body is not saying, 'A lot of money in the bank.' So very few actually really truly believe that they are the body. Most of us go around believing in this fictional entity which is created in our mind: the person. The person wants this, the person that. But then investigated and looked for, can it be found?

Interesting. I would say that I don't want many things at this point except to be free of the unwanted, which means I don't want the bad reactions, I don't want judgments that come in to myself or other people. So that's part of the experience of living that I...

So a simple, simple solution for this: just don't believe your next thought. As simple as that. The mind will come and say, 'But this is too simple.' But that's also a thought, and don't believe it. Then many here in the satsang can find that suffering seems like an alien concept because you just don't believe the next thought which is telling you, 'This happens with you.' Okay, 'This happens with you.' Another thought which will come and say, 'But, but, but, it can't be that simple.' Another thought will come and say, 'This doesn't seem to be it for you.' You see, all these thoughts will come.

And I don't say withdraw your attention from it, because it can seem difficult. If we jokingly say that if I say, 'Don't think of a pink elephant,' you think of a pink elephant. Attention goes to the pink elephant. If I say, 'Don't believe you're a pink elephant,' that's much easier. So both these forces, attention and belief, have to act on a thought for you to derive some misery from it. All you can get from a thought is misery, but it needs both these forces, attention and belief, to be working together for you to get that misery. So even if full attention is there, but you don't put in the belief, nothing. It won't even stay.

Now, as you keep this process, you will find that all of this will start getting cleaned up. Even if somebody cuts you on the road and you're told something, something, something, you will not suffer because of it. Because the trouble is more with the guilt in the actual momentary... 'Why did I do this? I shouldn't do this. Come on, I go to satsang. Come on, I've been to the mountain.' Like this, this is more. It's a double whammy. Not only does the thought get you in that time, it also then leaves the residue. More troublesome is the residue. So even if anger comes now, resentment can't. Resentment, which is more troublesome than even the moment, cannot stay.

So don't expect that the external will change. You just... you see, we say very simply, thought is like a pen lying on the table. You don't pick it up, right? Giving it your belief is like picking it up. There will be times where you find it's already in your hand. You see? See, it just happened, just happened. Then when you find it's already in your hand, you drop it. That's all. Don't do the postmortem about how did it go from table to hand, because in that postmortem you'll have lots of trouble.

So then these three... we have these three simple pointings which you already said today in satsang, which is: you want to be free from suffering. The first question for most seekers usually is, 'I want to be free from my suffering. Can you give me a way?' We say, 'Yes, the way is very simple. Simply don't believe your next thought.' That's the first question. The second question that usually comes is, 'Can you show me God? Can you show me God?' Yes. Can you stop being now? See? So this being cannot stop. This holy presence, this Consciousness, is God.

And then you say, 'Okay, but what about the Self, the Absolute?' The Absolute, you see, and then you say, 'Are you aware now?' This is the Absolute. This is awareness being aware of awareness because it's not a phenomenal seeing. And when this question is asked, 'Are you aware now?' you don't need to see any phenomena to confirm. You just know. That means the presence of awareness is already there and you are aware of it also. But because it's not a phenomenal seeing, that's why the mind cannot... the mind says, 'What happened? Nothing. Did you see anything? Are you just faking the answer?' No, you're not.

I've seen this trouble also come later. So somebody very clearly in satsang will say, 'Yes, of course I'm aware.' The next day they'll come and say, 'Oh, I was just faking the answer.' You cannot fake the answer. It's just the mind that says, 'But you didn't see anything.' It was expecting a 'something' experience, and because there was no experience, 'Maybe I was just faking.' You cannot fake it. It's very simple. Even a child can answer whether they are aware or not. That's why we say that this awareness, yourself, your reality, is ever-present. You're not coming and going. It's not coming and going.

So this awareness is completely untouched by these appearances, which is the fourth main pointing, which is that there's a big 'A' Awareness and the small 'a' appearance. Okay? Now, this is what we really are, but this is what we get confused or deluded into believing: the appearances. And anytime we are believing that 'I'm part of the appearance' or we give some meaning to this appearance, then all the trouble, all the suffering. If you say that this awareness remains untouched no matter what the appearance is, then in this simplicity—nothing difficult actually—what has been said in this simplicity, complete freedom is available.

And anytime something comes, just don't believe the next thought. Don't even bother about the past. If you believe... if you believe some thoughts, a lot of things came, you don't have to worry about figuring out those things. Just start now. It's all about now. Fresh now. Now.

There are times when there's not a thought that's disturbing. Sometimes it will be an emotion, something in the body like a nervous stomach or a feeling of anxiety. No real thought, but it feels very real.

We can seem that way. And we said that it's much easier for us to deal with thoughts now because thoughts are coming and going, but emotions seem to linger. They seem to linger. A feeling of discomfort, something can be there, anger, some feeling. It seems to just vibrate, vibrate. The trouble really comes then when we actually again listen to the interpreter about even this. 'This should not be like that. This is not right. You know, this is seeming strong.' If you watch this, this is how it plays. The energy is playing and it can seem to linger. Then something comes and says, 'But this is not comfortable. This shouldn't be here.'

So again, the rule is the same: don't believe your thought about it. Because what you are is immense space. You are immense space, and these energies can play without having any impact on you. They don't even touch you. They don't touch. They can play, they can come, they can dance, they can do whatever they want. When we say, 'This should not be,' or when we say, 'I would like to keep this strong joy always, I wish I don't lose this,' both can cause suffering. So the pointing still stays simple: don't believe this interpreter about any appearance, including the appearance of feelings, including the appearance of emotion. And you will find that when you are not resisting them, on most occasions they will lose their bite. Because to believe a thought is the way to resist it. 'This discomfort should not be'—all conditions from the mind itself.

It happens also like this, that sometimes these energies called thoughts or the mind runs out of words. It knows that you stopped buying the words, you stopped buying the words, and then only this energetic residue seems a little dark, seems a little gloomy. It can be just... sometimes it will come up very strongly like this. But just don't believe the interpretation of it. Don't even believe that it should not be. Just say that, 'I'm open. Let's see if anything can really touch me.' You find that none of these energies can come close to you.

Where does the forgetting come? The forgetting... the forgetting of this? Yeah, in the sense that is it that, okay, this is so clear, so clear, but when I go back in the quote-unquote real world, then again I'm forgetting.

It plays out this way. It's okay, it plays out this way. This is another concept that we carry: that 'I am the doer. I'm the doer of my action.' It seems like that, but the fact is, who is this 'I' being? Who? You already said, okay, the person we cannot find. So the person 'I' cannot be a doer because the person does not exist. Then what remains? Then it must be Consciousness itself, isn't it? The presence of being. All actions, all thoughts, all this play of appearance happens. Can it be that you're in deep sleep and actions happen? It seems that the awareness becomes unaware of... so that's not possible. You know what I'm saying?

Yes, it seems that way, but it's not possible.

See, the mind comes and says that freedom should mean that awareness is only resting as awareness itself. But awareness is resting as awareness itself. It is only attention which is there. So if you stay as awareness, you'll find that attention is bringing you lots of content, but you are actually unmoved. So awareness is the unmoved witness of all of this content. But when we confuse awareness with the attention, that's when the trouble starts.

Now, the nature of attention is like this monkey; it will keep jumping place to place. And if you try to control attention and make it stable and rest in a particular place, then it becomes very frustrating. You see? 'I stayed with the sense I am for a day, and the next day such strong thoughts happened that I was...' We're not even... see, don't try to force your attention to stay anywhere, because you are unmoved as awareness. Okay? Now, the attention is bringing you lots of content and the mind is giving you interpretations of this. This is what's actually happening. And when we believe these interpretations, that's when we say, 'Okay, this is what's happening.'

The mind is a fake interpreter. You saw that... we joked in satsang that Obama went to Nelson Mandela's... you see that video? So he went to Nelson Mandela's funeral and the interpreter there was fake. So he kept repeating the same action and it was completely fake. This is like the mind. What is, just is, and the mind is saying, 'Should not be, should be like this, could be more like this, I could be freer, I'm not really free.' All this is just coming from this fake guy. So those who are following this fake interpreter will completely suffer because they can make no sense of it. But you miss what the guy is really saying because you're listening to this fake guy.

So actually, no trouble in life. All these appearances can come and go, but when we listen to this fake guy who says, 'Okay, this should not happen with me,' then you have already believed the premise that there is a 'me.' Because all thoughts are talking to you as a person. No thought is saying like... like I say, no thought is saying, 'Hey Awareness, what's going on?' or 'Hey Consciousness, what's happening?' It's not saying that. It's saying, 'Hey person, don't you think your life should be like good? Don't you think you should have done this better or that better?' This person does not exist. If the person does not exist, then who is the doer of actions? It must be then this Consciousness itself. That's why it says that 'Let Thy will be done.' And in God, there is no personal will because there is no person. So before you believe a thought that 'I should have done this,' who are you talking to? Who is this 'I'?

Okay, so this free will or personal will is just a concept, and all that has happened has happened only through God's will. Not even a blade of grass can move without the will of God. The mind will come and say, 'But does this mean that I can just lay around in bed all day?'

It must be then this Consciousness itself. That's why it says that 'Thy will be done.' In God, there is no personal will because there is no person. So before you believe a thought that 'I should have done this,' who are you talking to? Who is this 'I'? Okay, so this free will or personal will is just a concept, and all that has happened has happened only through God's will. Not even a blade of grass can move without it. The mind will come and say, 'But does this mean that I can just lay around in bed all day?' and say, 'Does this mean that I can go around killing people but I'm not responsible because it's God?' This is just mind's fear tactics; nothing to this. Because God is running your life, and I'm sure the way He is running your life, you're not going to go around killing people or laying around in bed.

Not only does this help us with our sense of guilt, we also then cannot blame anyone. Cannot blame anyone. We cannot say, 'It's only God who's working through here, but you, you are doing your action.' It cannot be like that. It must be then God Himself who is doing all action, all this Leela within the same Consciousness. The funny thing, you know, we find is that it seems to be for the mind easier to accept that there is no person than it is to accept that there is no personal will. Isn't that funny? Because if there is no person, then how can there be a personal will? And both varieties are there. Some are open to seeing that.

So some are very open to accepting this about themselves and saying, 'There's no person here,' but cannot give that same acceptance to the appearance in front. 'No person here, but you are still a person. You are still a person. Why do you do like this? Why?' No. For some, it is 'no person,' but they still carry guilt and say, 'I'm still the... I'm still a person.' No person here, no person there. All the play of this movie, and we are just the audience just watching. Let's catch up on the chat as well a little bit. Namaste everyone.

So B says, 'Father, there is a question here regarding what seems to be the fact that regardless of the ever-present nature of what we are, to be pointed towards it, it requires some pointing in the sense that there happens to be amnesia. Although this itself can't be forgotten, it will need to be pointed towards again. The question seems to be coming from fear of losing the realization through amnesia or mental issues and then waiting for grace for the simple pointer.' Very interesting, very interesting. I feel that I've heard someone asking this, something like this: that if I was to become completely clear about what I am and then next day I were to have an accident and get amnesia, would I then lose this understanding? Would I lose this realization?

And then the question for you is that whether you realize what you are or you don't realize what you are, does it make a difference to what you are? This is again the fear of the mind which is saying that, 'Yes, yes, I've understood something now, I don't want to lose this understanding.' But what have you really understood? You really understood that I've always only been this, isn't it? So if you really only understood that I've only always been this, then can any amnesia make you something else? Can it make you something other than the awareness? So nothing, all this can happen, and the one who is playing this game knows exactly how it is meant to be played. Okay? God or Consciousness is playing this game, this Leela, and it is the Supreme intelligence. It knows exactly what needs to be done and it has perfect timing. The mind might accept this or not, but this is what is seen, this is what is clear completely.

So then our attitude can become that, 'Okay, this is what I am. This is completely clear now. God wants to play some more, let God play some more. If it wants to end the game, let it end the game. What's it got to do with me as a person?' You can unmute and say something if you like.

It's just that now when you were talking just now, it just became very clear that it's a fear from the sense that is not that... you know, it's the fear from again the person. See, what seems to be the person that says, 'If I lose it, then I cannot live it consciously.' Right now I can be like... there's a feeling that I can be conscious about it, but I guess that's just the way it's playing out.

Don't have this also. Don't have the sense that you are living it. You don't need to live your freedom. Life is just continuing in its own beautiful way. Because subconsciously in this thought, you will pick up some doership again. You will pick up a sense of doership again. You are the witnessing of all of this play, and you don't mind if the play includes amnesia, of you forgetting all of this, of you not coming to Satsang. What is actually touched? Nothing. Because through all of this, awareness will remain untouched. Very welcome.

Someone said, 'Dear Ananta, can you please speak something about meditation and in particular in reference to Shabad, word, yoga, yogas, Kalma, etc.?' Say, helpful. I'm not against any form of meditation. Any. You can be Buddhist, you can be Sikh, you can be any form of meditation. Just don't pick up the idea of a meditator. So I'm not against meditation; I'm against the concept of the meditator. I'm not against practice; I'm against the concept of a practitioner. And in the Nitnem, in the Japji Sahib, when we say 'Ek Onkar,' we also say 'Karta Purakh.' They are saying that the Om, the Consciousness, the Onkar itself is the one doer. Then if the one doer decides that some meditation should happen in your appearance, then some meditation can happen in your appearance. You can be completely unconcerned by any of this. Let life play out the way it is meant to play out.

I have given you the simple master key, which is not to believe your next thought. And there is nothing in the world which is not taken care of with this simple pointing. This itself, although it might seem like very simple, it is a very powerful sadhana if you want to look at it that way. Then not to give your belief to your next thought is very powerful sadhana. But you don't have to make a practice out of it. Naturally, gently, and you realize that this state of disbelief is actually your natural state, when it seemed like carrying this heavy load was your natural state. So believing every thought seemed to be the natural state, and when we put it down, we see that I never needed to carry it anywhere. You realize this is the most natural, most sage form of meditation. This will not pick up any ego.

What else was there in the chat? Oh, Shivani is able to type from her iPhone today. Very good, very good. Tara says, 'I recognized I am the pure Consciousness, but when I want to see the ultimate here, it's blank. Please guide.' And then they say, 'I know there is an ultimate here seeing, but that's all. I can be that position. I feel my position is the pure Consciousness.' Let's look at this together. Beautiful contemplation.

So what do you first mean by pure Consciousness? Pure Consciousness must mean this unassociated being, isn't it? So when I ask the question, 'Can you stop being now?' this presence, this I-am-ness, this beingness, it cannot be stopped. This is what is pure Consciousness. So pure Consciousness is here, but who is aware of this? So there's an awareness even of this presence. There's awareness even of this pure Consciousness. So this awareness is aware even of the presence of being. Before even the birth of the mind and the birth of the world, this being is present. So awareness is aware of being. And then we say, 'Are you aware now?' In answering this question, we don't even need to refer to being. You see that awareness is already here. You say, 'Yes, I am aware now.' And then if I were to ask 'as what?' you might say 'as awareness itself.' So this is the what you are saying, the ultimate seer. But there is no seer entity; there is only the seeing or the awareness.

In this way, you go from being a noun to being a verb, and you realize that you have never been a thing. You have never been an entity, you have never been an object. You have only been this pure seeing, this pure awareness itself. And the one who comes and says, 'What is this? It was this, it was that,' this one is another thought, you see? This one is the mind which is asking for a spiritual experience, which is asking for an awakening experience or an enlightenment experience. This is not you. Because when we said, 'Can you find any distance between yourself and this awareness? Can you find any separation between yourself and this awareness?' you were not able to find. So if I cannot find separation or distance, then I must be that, isn't it? So in these simple contemplations, all is cleared up very quickly.

Love you too, Atma. Thank you. Maybe we should not have these weekend breaks from Satsang. We should not have Saturday, Sunday also, because Friday, Friday everybody is shining, shining so much, so much. And Monday you come to Satsang and everybody, 'What's happening?' Monday morning blues, huh? Now Tara says, 'Trying to understand your English.' We'll have the recording as well, you can play it back. And if you're having some trouble with some parts of it, we will try to take it slowly. For the mind can't handle the simplicity, you see? The mind is not good with simplicity. It tries to make something, some complexity out of the simplicity that you are.

Some jet planes visiting us. Car says, '6 and a half hours of Satsang with Guruji.' Was it 6 and a half hours yesterday? I wasn't able to join in. Oh wow, thank you Car, thank you so much. Is it warm, the pan? Okay. No, Shivani says, 'So happy to be able to say hi Father. Love you.' Love you too, my dear. So happy you're able to type now on the chat from the iPhone. She says, 'I feel the energy.' Then you answer. It's very simply said that you don't need a reason to be happy, but you need a reason to be miserable. Very simple. This is very Advaitic actually. The truth needs no crutches of thoughts, but if you try to be miserable, you have to believe some concept, you see? You have to pick up an idea. Try to not believe something, try to not believe anything and be miserable. Can you do it?

Quantumness says, 'Father, any thoughts on our connection and bond with animals? I feel a strong love for them. Would that be part of the appearance dance also?' So this beingness, this oneness of beingness, doesn't make exclusions, you see? All is part of this joy called the phenomenal universe. It's very natural for some to be very attached to this play in this way, and the bond with animals can be there. They can be specific; some are very attached to cats, some are very attached to dogs. You can play like this very naturally, very beautiful. I see no trouble with this. All this is part of the appearance dance, but it doesn't mean that we have an aversion toward something. So we talk about the neutrality where we're not saying that you must have a desire or an aversion. We're not saying renounce the world. I have never said renounce the world. I only said renounce your mind. And in the world, all these expressions of love, all this expression of joy is very welcome. Nothing wrong.

T says, 'I feel joy laughing.' Very good. So all of you grumpy faces, just know that you're working very hard to be miserable right now, and you don't need to. What are you checking? I'm looking for grumpy. I don't see any. I'm just pulling, I'm just pulling the leg. So happy. Like we have one... I always pull her leg, her name is Satsanga. So she'll be talking to me and such a big happy smile will come, but then something comes to smother it. She always... probably a thought, 'Why am I so happy? Maybe I should control myself' or something like that.

Father? Yes, my dear. Namaste. Namaste. I wanted to ask you about the... this doer that I see still believed in a lot. Like, I see many times guilt about things I did, I believe I did. And also in Satsang, like, 'I should do more. Why don't I understand? I'm not open enough.' All these things point to the same belief that I am the doer, and it seems to be coming up lately more and more, exposed. Yeah, I just wanted to... I don't know.

Very simple. What can be the doer? Can you find what can be? Suppose there was a doer, then which part of you would be the doer? Is there any part which has some tangible existence?

I see many times guilt about things I did, I believe I did. And also in satsang, like, 'I should do more, why don't I understand, I'm not open enough.' All these things point to the same belief that I am the doer, and it seems to be coming up lately more and more, exposed. I just wanted to... I don't know.

Very simple. What can be the doer? Can you find what can be? Suppose there was a doer, then which part of you would be the doer? Is there any part which has some tangible existence, some independent decision-making, something which can decide on actions? We have this illusion that there is a person who is capable of doing all of this. Actually, what's happening, just like thoughts are coming and going, we feel... before satsang many of us felt that 'I'm the creator of my thoughts.' As a person, they feel that 'I personally am creating my thoughts.' They are so attached to our thoughts because 'I think something, that must be the way it is.' What are most debates in the world? One set of people having one set of thoughts, another set of people having another set of thoughts, and because they're having those set of thoughts, they feel, 'This is my belief, this is what I really want, this is what I really am.' Just a set of thoughts. Who gave these thoughts? Who creates these thoughts?

Then in the same way, actions happen. Action happens and we say that 'I should not have moved my hand like this, I should have moved it like this.' This is what troubles. The hand is moving on its own naturally, then something comes and says, 'You should not have moved it like this, you should have moved it the other way.' It's like that. I'm exaggerating to prove the point, but this is exactly what it is. Actions happen, and then after the action, the mind comes and says, 'You should not have done that' or 'Good job, good, you needed to do that.' In this, we feel guilt or we feel pride. Both guilt and pride are not required. All of this, if you were just to watch one day, you say that 'I'm just going to watch,' and you will find that actions still continue from the body, thoughts still continue to appear and disappear. It's just that this one, this false identity, comes and takes credit or blame. But all is just happening.

For personal doership, for personal will, there must be a person. As simple as that. What am I referring to myself as when I say that 'I am the doer' or 'I did this'? This 'open enough' thing is also very... because we say that all that is needed in satsang is a little bit of openness, and every time I say it, I feel that somebody there will believe the thought that 'I am not open enough.' It's not like that. Grace has got you here. Grace is also taking care of everything else. How will you become open? Will you get a brain surgeon? That's why I say nothing, you don't need to do anything at all. If you feel 'I need to do something,' then just don't believe your next one. If you still believe that you have some volition or choice, then just don't believe in a thought. And eventually, you will come to that conclusion that even this dropping of belief was pure grace. Then all of this was done by Consciousness itself.

Yes, because sometimes I feel mind also makes it a doing, like 'I'm trying but I don't succeed. I try to not believe' and makes it like a technique or something.

And then first don't believe this: that 'I try and don't succeed.' It's very tricky, you see. It's got lots of practice. It's practicing new stuff. It knows which buttons to push. But it's very good that all this happens because you can see it through this trick. You can see through this trick. You can now see through this trick. If these tricks would not come up, then you don't know what else it has got up its sleeve, you see? Now it's playing all the tricks so you can see them and transcend them. And even transcending is not a doing. It's not like that. Just simply seeing this thought is coming, 'Oh, new one, good, go.' Very simple like that. You don't say, 'This is coming, I'm going to transcend.' You just let it come, let it go. Watching in wonder sometimes, like a game. Play it like a game. Don't make it very serious. It's not life and death.

You are the untouched one. You are the Supreme one. It doesn't matter if you're going to be deluded for ten million more lifetimes. It does not matter. Does not matter. It's nothing. A million years is nothing for eternity. It could be playing as a person for billions of years, but for eternity it does not matter. Don't make it so Mahabharat, you see? There's this Indian epic, the Mahabharat. The two sides, the good and the evil, are fighting and then the good emerges with the... you don't have to even make it that serious. Just simply like a computer game. You play like a board game of Monopoly or something. Then what will happen is you'll stop worrying so much about your state all the time and stop taking your temperature so much all the time.

Om is a nurse. Om is a nurse. So there was a patient who was constantly every ten minutes taking the temperature and saying, '90.' Now it's very irritating. So you stop irritating yourself like this by taking your temperature. Just let everything come, let everything go. Nothing is touching you actually. Then you have nothing else to trouble you. Now you're starting to trouble yourself by your states, by your own states. 'Oh, not enough joy today morning. Yesterday morning too much joy, today morning not enough joy. Tomorrow maybe there'll be some more love.' You're not to make these cocktails of states and say, 'I enjoy this cocktail too much.' Let life be your bartender. Let God be your waiter. I might get banned from YouTube just for that. Life knows what it is doing. God knows what He is doing.

Who's creating openness? God is. Who's creating obstacles? God is. Who's creating joy? God is. Who's creating anger? God is. All this appearance is playing out, but where are you in all of this? You're just the pure witnessing. You're not touched. But anytime you start believing that 'I am a character in this movie' and not just the witness of the movie, then we start... we seem to be in this state of suffering or in the state of misery. So B says, 'God is making us mocktails by mocking us, making us think we are in choice.' Quantum says, 'I understand neutrality better now. Thank you.' Very good. She's posting for Naomi. Naomi says, 'I would like to expose the trickster at play, believing old mind patterns of resistance at work both at home and in job. Would like to leave this at Father's feet. Can't be on Hangout right now but would like to if you expose it in satsang.'

Then already it is getting burnt in this fire. Just remember to leave it there. When you expose something, then don't rush to get the ashes back or make mementos out of the ashes of what is burnt. When you leave it, then you leave it. And if it comes back again, then again you leave it. As simple as that. This is surrender. Simple. And she says, 'Thank you, Father. I feel I have a very strong attachment to animals, especially dogs, but seeing it is not my attachment, just part of this expression.' Yeah. So is this okay as long as there is no belief given to this 'me' or a doer? Yes. As long as we are not picking up this 'me' who is attached to dogs or cats or whatever, then there is no problem. All this expression of love can happen.

T says, 'Yesterday when I'm aware of when I go into mind's thoughts and to choice, there are problems. Then I'm in now, no problem.' So the only way to get out of problem is to stay in now. Yes, this is good. Easier way is to see that I'm always in the now, actually. Can you leave the now? Who can leave the now and show me? No one can leave the now. So because you cannot leave the now, then what can you do? You can pretend. So at best what we can do is pretend. So the power of belief is the power of pretend. When we give a thought or some image power, then we are trying to pretend to be in the future. We project. When we say projecting the future, we are pretending as if we are handling the future. As we go analyze the past, we pretend as if we go back into the past and look at things. But memory is very unreliable. It's a very unreliable witness actually. You cannot leave the now, so don't try to stay in the now. Just refuse to pretend to go into the past or future.

Some of these experiments will seem very childish when I say, 'Try to leave the now. Come and see.' But that's what we are doing all the time. You pretend as if you can leave the now. These simple experiments you can do. Is it possible? No. The now is here now. The real now is me, actually. My own true self is the here, is the now. That's why I say that don't try to come home, refuse to leave home. How do you refuse to leave home? By stopping this pretense, by stopping this belief that I can. Atma says, 'Oh, let Annie ask, please post for me. Can I please come on the heart seat, Father?' Yes, my dear, of course you can.

Namaste, Father.

My dear, Namaste.

Father, I just want to come before you. I haven't been before you since I spoke to you last. And just to be before you and just to offer up anything that you see that I'm not aware of, that the Satguru is aware of, and just to burn it in this holy fire. And just... yeah, it's very good. In this grace that has been burning here, it has been so beautiful and has stripped away what I didn't realize was still hiding. And as painful as it was, it was just such grace. And yeah, I just want to bring myself before you.

Very beautiful. You see, so sometimes Grace can give us strong medicine, and sometimes medicine tastes awful. It can taste awful. 'I don't need this, I don't have a disease, I don't need this medicine, it's too bitter for me. Why am I getting this hearing? Why am I getting this bitter medicine?' It can be. Then when it starts doing its work, 'Wow, this is some relief.' I never even thought, I never even believed that I was suffering from something, and this Guru's strong medicine has cleaned up even this. So He knows better, isn't it? He knows better what is what.

And I just... there's still the mind is still fighting quite a lot and the mind is still resisting and all sorts of stories, but it's not true and there is no truth to it. And I just, yeah, just on my knees and very grateful and just none of it's true. I just don't want to hide anything further.

This is very good. Now there's strength. This inner strength will come from this experience and you will have so much because what I noticed with you was this refusal to accept your freedom, you see? Now these will become such a strong inner strength that you will see that what you are is completely unshakeable. Through the strongest of winds, you will not shake. Sometimes what can happen is that because we've been in satsang for a while, we seem to build up some spiritual muscles, you see? And then the small, small winds cannot shake us anymore. So it takes a very strong wind to come and take the remaining part of our concepts away, take all the concepts. Okay? So sometimes when these strong winds are coming, like 'Why? I don't deserve this, I don't deserve this,' but this 'I' also will be taken away, this 'I'.

Very. I just... these last concepts of a guru being something external to me, like the disciple and the guru and all sorts of concepts around that. When it's revealed that there's only one and that is what the Guru is, there is only one truth and that is what the Guru is, and that is what is. And it's got nothing to do with anything I could even imagine or think or have any idea about. That's beyond everything.

The truth is beyond all the concepts. All concepts of being disciple, of being seeker, of being a good disciple, of being a bad disciple, of being a true seeker of truth, of being a fake seeker of truth—all these concepts will get wiped away, you see? While this car wash is happening, it might not seem very pleasant.

I love you so much.

I love you too, my dear. Thank you.

You're very welcome. I'm going away with my family now for ten days, so I'll do my best to be in satsang on my phone and I'll take you all with me in my heart.

You're always in my heart. Always here. Good. Wonderful trip. Thank you.

Being a good disciple or being a bad disciple, or being a true seeker of truth or being a fake seeker of truth—all these concepts will get wiped away, you see. While this car wash is happening, it might not seem very pleasant.

I love you so much.

I love you too, my dear. Thank you.

You're very welcome. I'm going away with my family now for ten days, so I'll do my best to be in satsang on my phone, and I'll take you all with me in my heart.

You're always in my heart. Always here. Good, wonderful trip.

Thank you. Thank you, Father. Be well.

Thank you. T says, 'And yet, feel to anything and everything that still has a sense of person around this love for animals. I lay at your feet all identity around this; I offer to you.' T says, 'Trying to leave the now is weird.' Yes, isn't it? And yet, how much hard work we feel that we have to do to come to the now because we've read books and these concepts about the now. 'Just come back to the now, come back.' You can't actually leave, just in the same way that you are always the Atma. Don't try to become the Atma. The Atma is not coming and going. You are that.

S says, 'When going into thought and picture, why is pretending to not be in the now? I did not get it fully. When I get in thought, I feel leaving the now.' This is the purpose of the mind. The design of the mind is to convince you that you are this fictional character or the person. That is the purpose of the mind. So don't expect that the mind will change. Don't expect this leopard to change its spots. This will always be like this. It's just that as you keep withdrawing your belief from it, it will lose all power over you. As Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi said, what seemed to be this strong rope will then seem like it's a burnt rope, and a burnt rope has no power. But he did not say that the rope will vanish. Many expect that 'My mind should go away completely, the mind should vanish.' It does not happen like that. That's why Bhagavan did not say this rope then vanishes. He says that the rope will become a burnt rope. So it will still be there. It will still try to convince you from time to time, but mostly it's given up. There's no power.

Thank you, Zo. Ah, I would like to sing. Wonderful, wonderful. Very good, my dear. You can unmute your mic. I was just going to say, who is going to sing for us? Come.

All the best singing ever, wasn't it everyone? Wonderful, thank you. Now we have Deva Premal and we have mini-mini Deva Premal. Thank you so much, my dear. Thanks. So we have a recording of Lazar's invocations.

Thank you all so very much for being in satsang today. Jay Jay Jay Jay Jay Jay. Today was the first time we had a child singing for satsang, and let's send her all our love and blessings. All our love and blessings to beautiful Lizzy. May she always be smiling like this. Always be smiling.