Where You’re Trying To Know, You Can Never Know - 29th July 2022

So what Joanna is saying is that I had given her this homework that stayed with the heart region, and then she's reporting about what all has happened. Now, one thing I may have also said is that don't evaluate, yeah? You see? And that's fine. It's very natural for us because progress is sort of a deep part of our condition at the moment. It feels like, 'I need to be able to self-evaluate and that is the only way I can come to some progress or get further along in this.' But you'll notice that these evaluative tendencies are just conditions from the mind. So now we would—I may have also said, 'But you come and tell me what is happening,' you see? So it may seem like a competition. So now can we try? Recognize that when you're taking yourself to be the limited 'me,' then you're using the mind as an instrument, you see? How to know you're being intuitive? When what you are is apparent to you. So let's experiment with this. Are you aware now?

Yeah.

You are aware now. Now, where this answer was apparent, give me a report from there. Don't rush. We have time.

There isn't anything bad to say um of anything so I've been talking about yeah.

How does your limited life seem now? When I say limited life, I just mean that the identity, the story, the narrative—how real is that? Don't go to your head for the answer. Just here it is.

Yeah, it doesn't—it doesn't apply like to this. It doesn't apply.

What is yesterday for you?

The word nothing. I'm not even that now.

Suppose Sriram starts talking, okay? He just starts talking and he is talking about some girl called Joanna. What does that mean for you?

I know I—it can seem a bit like this, like something pulling, something pulling, but we just neglecting that. You're not bothering so much. So it can feel a bit like that.

Now, is this what you are experiencing? Is it a question of here or there, right? Is it a special state?

Oh, the mind... there was something on the outside to say that, but knows before the mind coming in. So it's just—just here.

Is it something for you or something for you to do?

No.

Who are you here?

It feels hard to answer a bit. A mixing can happen. Some mixing can happen.

Don't—just take your time again. Rest in your heart. Relax fully. Don't worry, there are no right or wrong answers.

Some other things that—yeah, other things they're like trying to creep in.

Yeah, but just notice them lightly. Don't bother with them. I promise you, I guarantee you that they do not bring any truths into your lives. So what are we doing here? We're recognizing that there are two different instruments. They're two different instruments. One instrument is like a storyteller. It has the limited identity at the center of the story and all it can do is tell stories. It is just determining the nature of what this is, what is happening to you, what is better, what is worse. It is just story.

The other instrument is intuition in your heart, where anything that is valuable, that is true, is known only here. It is from here that you recognize your being. It is here that you recognize awareness, love, joy, truths. Even some of you are enjoying this music without understanding a word of it. So it is not in your head that you are enjoying. So something intuitively resonates. So that where Self is known without needing any concept, without needing any effort, without needing any mechanics, without needing any purpose—there everything is not as if, 'Oh, that is where you go to in satsang,' because there Self is only, you know? There is only the Self. There is nothing to be known outside of the Self.

So don't allow your mind to create a category which says, 'No, no, but that is satsang, but when I have to work and I have to send an email or I have to talk to my boss, then I need to become mental.' That is just not true. And over the years we've taken so many examples of this intelligence, how it moves this whole universe and all the organisms in this universe so beautiful. Now the mind will offer you something which tells you, 'This is what's happening.' Tell me if this is what's happening. You take it to be true, but it should cover everything that is happening right now. What is happening? What is this? If you take a limited definition of what is happening, then you will take yourself to be limited. Tell me everything that's happened, every experience, every phenomena, every vibration in every sensation. Capture the entirety of the story of your story in a narrative if you can; otherwise, don't capture it at all.

Yeah, this with the capturing, making comments of this, that, and the other is just an area, right?

No. So just notice that, but don't use anything to beat yourself up for it. So these observations, you just observe them, but you don't take them personally because they can feel very like they're coming from you, really personal. That which feels like or just seems like is Maya. That it just seems like or feels like—Maya is designed to feel like. So if you're just going with, 'But this feels like, it feels true, it feels alive, it feels like this, it seems like that,' you see? Are you aware now? Does it feel like or seem like? Just this. Okay? So go with that. That just is. Not just because it feels like or seems like. This whole world is a big 'seems,' and if you keep going with what it feels like, it is just like saying, 'It seems so true, it seems like.' Then you keep falling for that trickster, which is just a narrator of what feels like but not what is.

It can feel strange because we were taught initially in spirituality that don't go with your head, you see? Just follow your feelings; your feelings will guide you. That's utter bunkum. Don't follow your feelings. If you're feeling like a crazy bull, you keep dancing like this all over the place. So don't go with that kind of spirituality, you see? Don't follow your head, don't follow your feelings, just follow your heart. And your heart is not the center of feeling; it is the center of the universal intelligence called intuition. And you have no excuses left, you see? Because over many years you try to demystify this intuition, and now it is just—the pointer is very clear. Whether it is apparent that you are aware, that is your intuition. And when it comes of feeling and doubtful thoughts and feelings that 'Nothing is working, nothing's happening, this is too strong'—what to do with that when it comes? Okay, let's take both the scenarios. In the first scenario, take it to be true. Just take it to be true. All this you are trying, nothing is working. Yes, now what? What does that do? So one feeling taken to be true leads to another seeming, which all of us are here to cure. And that seeming is called suffering. That seeming is called identity.

How are you going to run this life?

There may be it... yeah, there's something with this the doer, that doership of it still of like trying to do something.

Yeah. If you did everything that you could, where would it get you? Would your awareness become more aware? Would your being become more being? No.

It becomes like this um 'You have to do this' and it goes to that extreme. 'Don't talk.' I was literally saying to you, so it's fake. 'I can't speak because if I speak it's just the mind, I need to just stay here.' It was just getting a bit too much, this over-intensive, you know?

What is the root of all of this is the evaluative tendency. If you make a state out of this, then you'll make a state out of its opposite, and both will seem personal. Whose awareness is this? Are you a Joanna being aware? Are you a Joanna being aware? You see? If that seems like it is true and that 'seems like' we take to be true, then you will also take yourself to be a Joanna.

It's just the mind. I need to just stay here. It was just getting a bit too much, this over-intensive... you know, what is the root of all of this? Is it the evaluative tendency?

If you make a state out of this, then you'll make a state out of its opposite, and both will seem personal. Whose awareness is this? Are you a Joanna being aware? Are you a Joanna being aware? Is it? Because if that seems like it is true, and that seems like what we take to be true, then you will also take yourself to be a Joanna which is not aware, that is being Mindy. Is it? So, if the Joanna, or whatever identity you take yourself to be, becomes the primary, which is then going to the awareness state and then the mind state, you see? A little of this sounds a bit... yeah. So, don't worry. You see, right now, show me Joanna. Who does this awareness belong to? Wherever you go for this answer, that is more important than the answer itself.

Like, is it... it's like I don't want this to be the mind answering, but that's also the mind saying the thief.

It just is. It's better not to give a superpatient, better not to pause for too long. I was going to say: don't make any conclusion. Oh, please, just get rid of this watch. It's gone. It's completely up to you. And Mahesh asked for this question a little earlier, you see? Then I say it's up to you. It's up to you as Consciousness. Satsang is Consciousness speaking with Consciousness. Only Consciousness is here; there is nobody else. So Consciousness is playing this game of identification and disidentification. So your being has full power. You can never say, 'But this has too much power' or 'The mind is too strong.' You see, the ghost cannot be stronger than the being itself. Because it has been a bit like this, but as you were saying, he sees it. What will you do without an evaluation of yourself?

Why do I need so much? I keep evaluating. That's also an evaluation.

Okay, stay with me. Stay with me. Just look at me. Allow everything which is conditioning, narrative, evaluation to just come in. Was that closing the eyes so that you could get some time to evaluate? It happens here sometimes. They sometimes play this game. Just stay with me, fresh. Yeah, you were here one time. No, I don't like this, then I have to meditate. There's like, if there's nothing, then if I just close my eyes for a bit, maybe let all thoughts come in. Tell me the one that grabs you. As it grabs, can you already notice that you're no longer in pure perception when you are trying to think or trying to evaluate? See, like right now, I'll tell you one that was then. Okay, right now, stay here. Stay here. Okay, it's okay. Stay now. Let's stay. Thank you. Okay, the mind will create motions of time and taking time. Don't worry. It's like, no, it's just now. Everything to move within this openness. Tomorrow, it has to speak. It has to speak from here. To evaluate it is to determine value. To determine meaning is to be valuable. So we got stuck in this evaluation, this evaluative tendency, because this is what we can put in the narratives, the meaning that we can put in the story. All these words are being naturally heard. You don't have to think about them. You don't have to understand them.

Quite natural, no? Yeah, just something's lasting, like just from here. Like only just trust, just from here. No, please. Okay, this to every evaluation... no, no meaning from... like from here, that doesn't need something. Just very fast for her, it will come with like, 'Yeah, I'm not here.' All right, see you again. It's just very fast for her, it will come, but she's not there. Or like just to observe just from here. So no, not just... yeah, but I'm just telling her, not even that. Nothing.

Do you have to determine this? Do you have to determine this? You cannot. You don't have to. See, in the world, you become deeply conditioned to the idea that we need to understand. And in the idea of trying to understand, we've stopped experiencing life. All of us just living in our heads. This beautiful movie plays out. The entire movie—50, 60, 70, 80 years of a movie plays out—and we've missed most of it because we're just living in our heads. But now, why were you asking about that? Yeah, well, that's why it was pointless. There is no way to anything. What does it mean to be mental? Just trying to convert this experience into like a mental idea, a mental truth. She can't do so. Is it like this? No. Is this what's happening to me? No. This, this, this is to be headless. Nothing is needed. Nothing is needed. You don't need to understand. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Very good. Someone in the chat said, 'What is our purpose in our life? Should we evaluate?' Of course not. You see, you know what I've been saying: life is not a pencil that it has to have a point. All of us are just searching for this: 'What is the meaning of life? What is the meaning of life?' Life is missing life and trying to find its meaning. Forget about meaning. Purpose? Purpose is a very funny emotion. Okay, let's go to another. She's been waiting.

I've been following you and you're so beautiful. It's just the seeing and everything was so clear and so much peace and so much guidance. But up until two days ago, the life, the dynamic life, went upside down. And very much having been... the attention is very much now and I had a lot of movement and I'm in a panic at the moment. And there's a fear of closing the eyes because there is so much movement and heart and anxiety in the body. I feel that I lost myself because I've been following Guruji for the past five years and gave my life to this. And there's only God and there's only this, and there's been such seeing and beauty and clarity. And now there's a question: why is this happening right now? You know what's happening? What do I do?

So right now, you see, just describe as innocently as possible what is being perceived without explaining or putting it into any story or narrative.

Okay, like I said, there's trembling with a... you can see that it's the seeker, it's in a panic.

Okay, the mind's in a panic. Let's go really slowly. Yes, we have all the time. Well, don't worry at all about anything. Very good. So you notice that there is a trembling. That is exactly the kind of description that I want, because everything after that was speculation. Okay? After that was just speculation. I want to know: what is your direct perception at this moment?

It's just trembling and anxiety and... and there's a trembling inside, like a fear, restlessness.

So there's trembling, fear—similar to the trembling—and restlessness, I guess, also is similar to the trembling. Anxiety, yes. Is this just this experience now? This experience itself, we are removing the experience from any idea or any label of what this is, you see? Trembling is good enough as a label. We don't need to add any other label at the moment. So now there is some trembling happening. Notice the space in which it is happening. Just notice. Just perceive that. Don't describe to yourself. Don't narrate. Just notice the trembling and the space in which it is happening.

I can see, I can feel myself as a space, but there is... but now that is also going to...

I'm going to fire you to really slow down. Just please, okay? Everything is contained in the instruction. We don't need to add anything to that, you see? It is a sensation of a trembling, and the trembling is happening in an apparent space. You see, it is happening in an apparent space. See that. That's all we need to notice at the moment. We don't need to understand what is happening. We don't need to label anything else.

There's no distance. There's a lot of sensations in the body at the moment, eye movement and vibrating, and there's a fear of closing the eyes to feel it.

So all the sensations... let's just include trembling also and sensations. These sensations are being experienced, they're being perceived, and it is also apparent that there is a space in which all of these sensations are happening. Now just notice for yourself with the innocence of a child, without any mental understanding, no spirituality, nothing. Just notice for yourselves and tell me if that space is being affected by these sensations.

No, that space is not being affected by these sensations.

Are the sensations touching anything else except this space?

They don't touch the space, but if... if there's a...

Don't speculate. This...

The attention is just pulled into their sensation so much.

Say that part again.

But the attention is so much pulled into the sensations.

Yes, yes. Let the attention be pulled into the sensation. Let that be attention's job at the moment. Don't worry about it. Okay? So attention can be on the sensations, but the fact is that even if attention is so much in the sensation, it is apparent that these sensations are happening in a space, isn't it?

The biggest fear that's coming up is... I... because there's so much, there's been so much clarity of seeing, I always had my... it feels like I'm blind when I close my eyes. I don't know if that makes sense.

No, one second. That's... that's again going too far. Okay? That is to include this in a narrative. And I'm giving you the medicine to free you from your suffering, but then instantly you position what is happening in the moment for us into a sequence which is time and space, which means the story, the narratives. Then suffering is inevitable. See? Just very innocently be in a noticing of the perceptions that are happening or the sensations that are being perceived. Notice that by themselves they don't carry a meaning. They don't carry a story. And you don't have to understand them. You see, the mind will give you so many offers which will claim an understanding over these, but you are not to go with those offers. Just allow the thoughts to come in. It's okay. Remain in this pure perception. Is there somebody there that you can perceive that the sensation or perception is hurting or harming in some way?

No, not now. But that answer was a bit conditional because in that also was the presumption of time, which is not the experience at this moment. It is just a fear that what if it comes back.

Yes, yes. So don't worry about that. Don't worry about it. Just right now, are these perceptions or some sensations hurting anybody?

No.

Can they not be allowed to dance? If they don't hurt the space where they happen, there is nobody that they are hurting. Yes? Is attention going to them causing any problem to anybody from your perception? Don't go with your narrative or speculation now. So allow attention to be fully free. Continue to observe these sensations and very naturally answer this question for me: are you aware or not?

Yes.

So self-knowledge is completely there. Even in the play of these sensations, you have not lost yourself. Just observe that. That you are aware is apparent to you no matter what attention may be on. This is not a functioning of attention.

There's a lot of thoughts. That's why there's fear to close the eyes.

Allow these thoughts to just be another perception. Let it also go to them. Don't worry about anything. The more there's allowance of this, the stronger the sensation comes in the body.

Is that somebody that is being perceived that is being hurt by the strength of these sensations?

Okay. Is the space in the room concerned about how many people are sitting in it? No. The same way, the space in which the sensations are perceived is unconcerned about what is playing now. None of these sensations have inherent meaning. In fact, no perception has inherent meaning.

Okay. Not knowing.

Yes. Who is that hurting? Who is that affecting?

My imagination.

Exactly. Very good. Very good. So now, if you meet this as if you have a story—you've been in satsang five years and you had clarity and all of that—you see, then all of these appearances in the mental narratives can affect that, can attack that shape, you see? If you don't meet it with that shape, if you don't meet it with any history, any baggage, any time, everything is allowed.

Yes, I hear you. Yes. Right. Sorry, is it... is it all right? Because when I listen to Guruji, he always says don't give the...

Exactly, very good, very good. So now if you meet this as if you have a story—you've been in satsang five years and you have high clarity and all of that—you see, then all of these appearances in the mental narratives can affect that, can attack that shape, you see? Okay, if you don't meet it with that shape, if you don't meet it with any history, any baggage, any time, everything is alone.

Yes, I hear you. Yes, right. Sorry, is it all right? Because when I listen to Guruji, he always says don't give the mind any attention, or even don't give the mind its attention. But it feels like there's so much; it's like you need to expose a little bit of it. Is that okay, or shouldn't I expose it?

You have to follow your heart moment to moment. There's no template to life or what you should do. Just allow your heart to guide you moment to moment. If you want to be vulnerable because I noticed that when I'm vulnerable right now, the more everything feels like love if you're held. But what is happening is it may seem like a useful exercise to sort of capture this into the construct of vulnerability and love, you see? But this moment which was being experienced did not meet that construct. No, no, you see? So who needs that construct?

An imagination.

Exactly. At the same level. Because you cannot include the moment in what is happening in the narratives. You can only include the conversion of the moment into conceptual knowledge, which is: 'Right now I'm vulnerable and then I wonder, will I experience love?' You see? But that has nothing to do with you because I can hear you ready. So you don't have to understand. And that's the theme of satsang today: that even our highest-seeming narratives, even our highest-seeming conclusions or the most useful-sounding ones, we don't actually need. And today's conclusions, which are the highest-seeming and most helpful, are going to be the cause for suffering tomorrow, you see? Because you will frame yourself in that construct and say, 'When I am vulnerable, I feel love,' you see? And then a moment will come tomorrow where the mind will say, 'See, you're not being vulnerable; that's why the love is gone.'

Yes, it does. Yes.

Okay. So it means in this way that anytime the unlimited presents itself or takes itself to be in the construct of any limited notions, then the opposite of that limited notion will come and attack. And this is called suffering. If you don't take a conceptual shape at all, what can be attacked? Nothing can. So you just get used to rejecting the invitations from the mind, although initially it may seem like at least I should RSVP or something. Just get used to it.

But the question, the thoughts coming... because every time, it's just... I don't know how to say this, but life is really grabbing the outside. The dynamic life has covered and it's in... life is pulling at just being, pulling me out of my space where I've been just, you know, honoring myself in peace.

I'm very happy he's doing that. Because why? It may sound like bad news, but I'm telling you that that 'me' is not you.

I know. It has nowhere to hide anymore. I know that the doors are closing and I've been running for the past few months. The doors are closing on the false one.

Is that good news or bad news?

It's good news, but you're here and not that there's fear. And at night when I have this fear, I hold your hand and I hold Guruji's hand and it goes away. But I don't want to hide anymore. I just want to be myself.

This one you give to me gladly. Don't be concerned. You can either be concerned or have a Guru. What's the point of having a Guru if you're going to keep your concern? I'm going to give it to you. I have a good plan. No problem, you can have one. Thank you. Very good. You see, all that we take as if it is happening to 'me' is just constructs from the mind. No perception has the power to hurt you. You just saw that every perception can come, all attention can even seemingly go to that, you see? But nobody is getting hurt in that process except our story about ourselves, except our idea of where we've been and the progress we've made. All of that can get attacked. And I'm very happy it gets attacked because otherwise you will take that to be your reality and you will miss this.

Please, what do I... when it's being attacked, the identity blocks and you don't know this stuff. You do know it's my first... because my mind has been listening to satsang all these years.

Exactly. And my mind just repeating like a record all the satsangs. Yeah, see, you know this stuff. But where you truly know it in your heart, there is no diagnosis or report or trouble. Where you have understood it conceptually, that becomes a spiritual version of the mind. Yeah, and then that one pretends to be your guide and offer you: 'Your condition right now is like this and this is what is happening to you and this is what you need to do.' You see? It's all that stuff.

How do I give my life to you? I just want to give my life to you. Yes, I want to give my attachment to my son to you. I want to give... I just want to give it all.

The moment you open and empty. Your surrender... open means everything can come, all perceptions can be perceived. Empty means non-grasping. Everything that comes will naturally go. It's a big one. But any grasp, especially grasping the narrative, the blooming of things, the purpose of things—see, then we are getting stuck in taking ourselves to be the limited entity which never existed. It grasps at others like a drowning man.

Okay, thank you. Thank you.

So what I've told you is not meant to make a personal report card. And that's what I was telling Joanna also. You see, this spiritual ego will operate. It will use what it is hearing in satsang to become an oppressive evaluator of spirituality, you see? Okay, or a special exponent of spirituality. Either it's a special oppressor which uses spiritual knowledge to beat you up, or it makes it seem as if there's something very special happening there, you see, which is spiritual and things. And both will happen. It will set you up for that and then it will chop you. So don't play the roller coaster game now. Don't take any of its narratives to be real. Not special, nor anything, you know, spiritual, nor anything that you can actually place and say, 'This is what is happening to me.' We cannot place this moment in a construct, you see? Then how is it that we are able to place our life in a construct? You cannot place this moment in a construct. Tell me about this moment fully. It's not true. There is nothing. Also, no construct is possible as a definition of this. And yet, although we see right now that not one moment is definable, we're quick to define years of our lives. Did you notice? So that is just the conditioning which forces us to feel that unless I have a narrative about what is happening to me, I am not leading a meaningful life or going towards a meaningful life. And that is why spirituality has got confused with meaning.

So to tell you about yourselves, that is to remain open and empty? To allow like... allow all the images and the stories, yes, everything to play out?

Be like the space in the room that is unconcerned by who is visiting, what is happening.

Talking about the panic to come as well?

Yes. As long as you don't associate strongly with the emotion that panic is happening, you see? Meet every moment fully fresh. You have never stepped into the same river twice, so to say that 'this is the anxiety, this is panic' is actually an avoidance from the full meeting because you want to judge it so that you have a handle or control over what's happening. Yes, you don't need the attachment because you are the space actually, or beyond even that space. But for now, it's okay. You can live without knowing. Yes, that is true knowledge. You can live in Atma Gyan with your heart more without having to translate anything into conceptual understanding. Where do you know that you are aware? Do you know that you exist?

I don't know because...

No, are you aware?

Yes.

Did you have to go to the mind to confirm this?

No.

So that is where you have to live. It's not a spatial place. It's not a place where you can define and say, 'Just a little to the left of the heart,' you see? Nothing. It is the instant where you're not going to your headphones; you're being intuitive. This is where the 'but' comes. I know the famous 'but.' It comes in and says, 'Okay, you know and live like this, but what to do now when this thing is over and, you know, finish calling and no groceries and the dog is barking? What to do?' Experiment with me and you see if, without giving in to the stories, the narratives, the meaning, whether life can still continue to play out or you become like a vegetable sitting on the bed or something.

I've been a vegetable sitting on the bed the last few months.

Then that is fun itself. It didn't know what to do. Please, okay, one final tip for you: the place where you don't know, you can never know. Where you do know already, you can never not know. And don't fear the fear. The place where you don't know that you don't know whether you have to fear the fear or don't fear the fear—so providing an answer there will not help because that answer will just be taken as a concept, isn't it? Okay, going really subtle. Reality... okay, this is chopping the root of all identity and conditions and all of this play of identification, you see? Now, this is the trouble with the human condition, right? There is an instrument called the mind, you see, which has the ability to ask these questions. It's a big question: 'Has this happened to me? What should I do? What is the meaning of life?' You see? But it's just a bundle of concepts. It cannot assimilate an answer, you see? So it just plays concept-concept with these questions. So it feels like 'I know something because, oh, because my master told me this is the meaning.' Is it? So you feel like 'What is the meaning of life?' is the highest question I can ask, and the master says blah, blah, blah, blah, 'It's the meaning of life.' Oh, I found out! No, you didn't find the answer; you just got a concept, you see? So what I'm pointing to will take your idea of what life is away from this conceptual version of playing lives into the actual meeting with life, actually living from the heart where everything is known. You can try this. You can take a question like 'What should I do next?' or 'What will happen to me after this?' and 'What am I supposed to do?' Any of these, you see, and give it to the same place where you ask the question 'Am I aware now?' And don't rush into anything. Do not feel that we have self; the Self is apparent, which is impossible for the mind to reach. You see? Then that is only for that. Anything that seems to trouble you, you can take it to them. Otherwise, we're just playing a conceptual game. The mind will say, 'What do I do?' and do worship, of course, it's just a concept. And then the response will come, 'Do this,' like that. And it may feel very satisfactory to the mind. 'Okay, Ananta answered me straight for the first time; he gave me a straight answer,' or something like that. But it's nothing but words. You did not get an answer; you just got some words which can seem like a conceptual Band-Aid to the suffering of the question 'What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?' 'Do this.' Ah, some relief, because at least the beeping of the question went away. It's like the constant phone which is beeping, which you can't really answer if you're like this, you see? So it feels like it went away, you see? But it doesn't actually go away. It actually got fed to give it more power tomorrow. So I'm not indulging that game so much. Not indulging that game so much so that you find that which is beyond these narratives, these conceptual emotions, these presumptions about what life is and the solutions to those emotions. Just step away from all of that construction activity and within your heart is that simple. You don't have to understand in that conclusion that it is that simple. It can't be that simple. Who are we?

It actually goes away. It actually got fed to give it more power tomorrow. So, I'm not indulging that game so much. Not indulging that game so much so that you find that which is beyond these narratives, these conceptual emotions, these presumptions about what life is and the solutions to those emotions. Just step away from all of that construction activity. And within your heart, it is that simple. You don't have to understand in that conclusion that 'It is that simple; it can't be that simple.' Who are we still catering to? Who wants to understand whether it is simple or difficult? Still catering to the guy who's playing concept-concept. Is it simple or difficult? Do we know?

You just have these labels and notions, and then we try to determine whether life and spirituality are in those constructs. Just throw them away. Everything that has an opposite, throw it away. If the mouth needs to communicate something to someone, it will show up from the heart. Don't worry. Beautiful. Are we going too far today, or are you okay?

Thank you, Father. Would it be okay to continue guiding?

Yes, of course, my dear. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, love. Take the highest idea about your life and just throw it in the garbage can. Don't even make it sound poetic. Not even if you burn it in the fire or something. But I said this before, but today I just said you're not even going to be poetic about it. It's not even worthy of fire. Just throw it in the garbage can. Your highest idea cannot meet one moment of heart inside. The highest idea cannot capture one moment of heart inside.

You can try building all the ideas you want. Become the highest. Learn it as a spiritual practitioner who's read all the scriptures and everything. Get all the highest ideas, stuff them into your head, but all of that does not count for one moment towards Him. You're just stuffing yourselves with those studies. It can feel a bit scary because you can feel like, 'But I've invested so much in that. It's been so many years learning this stuff.' Now, you see, throw it away. Just to make yourself not make that mistake seem like a mistake, you should just keep committing that mistake over and over? If I don't know, it's just like saying they are saying 'good money chasing bad money.' Stop doing that.

You will not resolve your life. You cannot solve your lives. Life is not a problem. It is not a puzzle. It's none of these things. Stop meeting life head-first. When we stop meeting life head-first, then you meet life heart-first. Whatever you think is happening to you or is your life's condition right now, just forget about it. It's not true. Meet it fully instead of trying to hide from it by constructing an idea of what is happening to you.

When I say forget about it, you see, that may sound like a denial. I am saying the opposite. Don't meet it through some preconceived glimpse of what you think is happening. Meet it, you see. So what is denial? Denial is to hide from it and say, 'Yeah, yeah, I know what is happening; this is this.' That is hiding. You meet it fully. Do you need to label it? I don't need to label it, you see. I don't need to label this. So often I keep saying I don't have to say 'this is glass, this is water' and yet I can drink from it.

So in the mind, the idea of denial is upside down. I say don't label glass and water, and you think it means to bang the glass? No, I'm saying meet it fully. Then why do you need the label? Is there a glass on the table? Of course not. The glass is just a construct I am using to insert it into my story. I don't need to call this glass. Every glass is unique. You just make these layers of abstractions so that we can insert them in our narrative, you see. But neither do I need to know the label or the label of what it contains. Just like a little baby, we can drink from it.

There was an ambulance just 20 minutes ago. I'm just narrating what just happened. And because I have a heart condition, which is there's a stent, so it was a little bit of dizziness for two days. And there was a lot of fluttering. And of course, comes the fear with it. And I always have a choice to act on the fear, but then there is that thing to take care of the vessel. So I called in, and then they do the normal ECG, which is normal. It turned out to be normal, everything okay, which is a good thing, I guess. There's a sense of grief always on the door. I don't know what this grief is about, but you know, it is grief. It's just sadness. It's sad, but you know, into sadness.

Exactly. So, but this is not true even in your life, you see. I'm not saying... so this is exactly... thank you for saying this because this is what I was trying to illustrate through the glass and water thing. Now, the experience, the sensation that you're experiencing—does that get amplified by your label saying 'grief' or 'sadness,' or does it get diminished?

If there's a labeling, then there's further labels to that. If I call it grief, then there's a further labeling of trying to get rid of grief, or grief should not be there, and those kinds of things.

Exactly. Very good. Exactly what I'm saying. So every label that we have carries the baggage of our personal dictionary. Further labels to the label on the dictionary. Every time a story like 'I experience grief' comes, then 'first time when I was this many years old and then this happened.' So that label itself becomes very oppressive. And that avoids a true meeting. If you look at the perception, you see... okay, do the experiment with me. Okay, let's look at the perception, but keep thinking also, 'This is a glass that is used to drink water.' Is it? Now, is your perception getting amplified by the process of thinking, or is it getting diminished? Do this. Okay, even if it sounds absurd, you all have to do this. See what happens. Just perceive this and then also try to think about it and say, 'Is this a glass? I wonder if that water is clean. Should I drink water? I feel like I'm dehydrated.' We think all of these things and also perceive the glass.

No, it's not possible. At least in my case, it starts becoming blurry.

It starts becoming blurry because attention is a limited quantity, you see. So our experience of living is not amplified by our subtitles; it is actually diminished. You see? And actually, even if the subtitles are accurate, you say, 'Okay, go with the subtitle.' But because the multitude of our experience is so high, but our labels are so few, then when we insert this... like this feeling comes. Guruji has this beautiful example. He says that our habit is to say, 'Okay, this is anxiety.' But you could be experiencing a very similar sensation when you're excited about going for a holiday. Then you say, 'No, no, there's so much excitement.' Whatever. But when we put ourselves in a concept that 'I have stage fright,' that same similar sensation is coming and we say, 'Oh, I have so much fright, I have so much fear right now.' But we don't actually notice the qualitative distinction in the sensations that we're experiencing.

Every moment of this living experience is unique, but our labels are so limiting and primitive that when we define ourselves in those ways, it can feel like, 'Why is my life like this? Grief just keeps coming back again and again.' You see? But what you are experiencing, you will never experience again. You never step into the same river twice, you see. Now, if it helped you in some way... if there was a life's instruction manual based on 'Oh, if there is fear, do this.' That's what all of us are searching for in some way, that 'I just want to make a life instruction booklet saying if this appears, do this; if this comes, then do this.' But there is no such template to life. So in which way does our living experience get amplified by our narratives about what something is?

I think there's also that idea: if one recognizes one's true nature, then sadness disappears, or there will be no tears, or you will be happy 24/7. And this is spiritual oppression. This is how we oppress ourselves with spirituality, with spiritual emotions.

So are you aware now?

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am. So that is the only way you will recognize yourself ever, you see that? So you recognize yourselves now. What should have changed on the screen of Consciousness because of that?

Yeah, it's absurdity. So in the way you put it out and the way you express... so there's tears, and the moment we say tears, you have extreme... are we writing an autobiography? Why do you have to frame what is happening to your life in a conceptual construct?

We feel like that is understanding. It is not understanding. Do you feel like that helps to determine what to do? It doesn't, because you don't know how to move a finger. What is to be done is going to be done anyway. See, that which you take yourself to be does not know how to move a finger, and that which is already doing everything is already doing everything.

So basically what you're saying is the narrative, what we are constantly talking about, the little me narrative—that's where the crux is, isn't it?

Exactly, exactly. Now, it's all about me, the little me. But now don't even understand this. Just drop it cold turkey. You see, what will happen is that we will look for the negating narrative which Vedanta provides with Neti-Neti of everything, and then provide with a 'no-no' to everything. You see? But the negating narrative also has to then be dropped. You don't have to frame your life in any idea of life. That is to be in the Unborn. That is to be in the no-mind. You don't have to put that. Look at this. Is it? Our mind will double-use, saying, 'But what's really happening to me right now?' So accept that that questioner is just a question, and any answers that it can understand are not answers.

Yes. When you speak it, because you're bringing it really out for me, actually I'm not able to do it, but you're doing it.

Exactly what is happening right now. It's always... don't frame your life in any construct, including this one. You don't need to understand. You don't need to know. You already know. Where you don't know, you can never know. Or when you're trying to know, you can never know. Don't squeeze anything into your head. Nothing will get squeezed in there in you except narratives and concepts and emotions.

So basically it's staying empty?

No, no. Just no. Why do you need that determination for what? If the mouth needs to speak, it will speak from the heart. It's okay. Just no. Don't frame life in any construct. Being dumb. If you start making sense to yourself, you're going in the wrong direction. Don't make any sense. It doesn't mean that now the sensible approach is to try and speak nonsense. That is also trying to make sense. The thought is, 'Now what should I say?' Then there's nothing required. So, 'no-no' is your expression of what the thought is saying because you're valuing it or because you're not valuing? Sorry, about what the thought is saying—is it because you are giving value to what it is saying or because you are giving no value to what it's saying? Because certainly this can happen: you want to express as if there could be truth value in that thought. So we say, 'Ananta, the thought is saying...' you know? But we want actual validation or invalidation of the thought to happen from you. So what if the thought is saying? Its job is to say. It will say all kinds of rubbish. It'll say, 'But now I can't speak, then how to say anything really?' It's not true. None of this is true. It is just feeble attempts to frame your life into a conceptual idea which is nothing but a story. It's not that I don't want to hear what you have to say. I am just giving you the tool by which you can be free from suffering, because we are valuing this little narrator, the narrative.

The job is to say it will see all kinds of rubbish they'll say, but now I can't speak then, then how to say anything really? It's not true. None of this is true. It is just attempts, people's attempts to frame your life into a conceptual idea, which is nothing but a story. It's not that I don't want to hear what you have to say. It's not that I don't want to hear what you have to say; I am just giving you the tool by which you can be free from suffering because we are valuing this little narrator, the narrative, and we're missing our lives. Don't frame anything. Don't claim anything at all. They are nothing but dreams. And also from the mind with which to define your life—nothing but frames. You wish to define your life, but your life is too vast to be defined in that room. And it's absurd, actually, that in the human condition we are missing it. It is missing.

I'm sharing this with those that are here, that I was in the office the other day and somebody had brought their pet, a dog called Leo. And I met this dog here and it was like two dogs are meeting. Like, I could see there's no thinking happening. There was no thinking happening here. I was just like, true, we were fully with each other and engaged. With humans, usually it is like something, then like, 'What do you think about that?' It's like that, saying something, some recycled stuff. Maybe we remove the freshness from our life in that way. And when we try to be spontaneous, it becomes a new plan. A dog is not trying to be spontaneous. Like, the new mantra becomes 'I only act spontaneously,' but that's the new bondage.

Can the dynamic life go on then? This is how we trouble ourselves. We categorize: dynamic life, spiritual life, practical life, real life, certain life, work life. Life is just life. Even life is not even life. Like, the label 'life' cannot contain life. And then not only do we accept all these lives, then we sub-categorize and say, 'Something life is like this. This is okay for spirituality, but in my practical life I have to...' you know, we make all these excuses for the mind. So today, I just want to know: who needs this distinction between work life and life life or spiritual life? This is so that we can put ourselves in one construct. 'At work I'm like this.' And that's what someone might do just so that we can narrate. Nothing but trouble.

What do you have to understand? What is understanding gotten us? We've only enjoyed those moments where we are empty of understanding. Have you enjoyed those moments with me? Just like, yeah, yeah. Mountain, river, mountain. Thank you. Okay, exactly. These things don't even exist. Yes, what that label is pointing to—it's amazing, yeah. It is very little constructs. Yes, yes. Just perceive the perceptions. Those perceptions we can just communicate with the innocence of a child about what is being perceived. It's very good, actually, if you don't have the words to frame all of them. And I'm very happy I can see the words, but I'm trying not to get going there. Okay, now find a word that fully conveys what is happening to you. I want to meet such a word. It should fully capture your experience in this moment. You can even use a sentence. Absolutely everything that is in your perceptual experience, in your perceptions, you must be able to convey through words. Can we do it? So the idea is not to run away from those; the idea is just to see that they are too limited to define even my phenomenal experience. The non-phenomenal, of course, is beyond.

As you were speaking today, yes, like I can see how much this tendency of interpreting and concluding and, like you say, framing all the time, thinking I know what is. And yeah, like they are... what I felt to hear this report, what I feel to say is like, what is strongly believed many times and it's very difficult to see through it. It's like this idea of failing. It's that story that I had a chance and I could see, and then I picked up something or I did something wrong, or I was very arrogant. And this is very strong, like this 'bad person,' you know? And somehow I can't... it's very tricky when it comes. I can be days in such a strong turmoil and just believing like this negativity and feeling like I can't get out of it because I'm too close and I'm not open. And sometimes even I feel like, what's the point of watching satsang because there's so much resistance? And even now speaking, I feel it's from the mind, but I have to say it because...

I'm very happy, firstly, that you heard in satsang. And I hope all of you were doing this along with the one that was coming up for the question, because this is the nature of the human condition, you see. This constant evaluation, evaluating the world, evaluating ourselves, putting everything in these frames of thoughts and narratives. You see, none of it is true because you cannot be described that way. Your one moment of your experience cannot be described that way. Right now cannot be described that way. And yet we pick up these broad strokes.

I am... I was like this. Nobody like that has ever lived. Yes, like I screwed up and I'm so beyond repair and so beyond help and like, you know, it's like so... yeah, like it's been such a burden. Like, oh my God, I have to correct all these things. And it feels like such a burden. And of course then you get depressed because what can you do with this thing? Of course. But actually I have to say, like sometimes I remember you saying like nothing is true, even like you said in this satsang, like the best story is not true, but even the worst story...

Of course, of course, of course. Usually it is, because that is the one we don't surrender, no? Usually we surrender like, 'Oh Father, can I just surrender the story of arrogance? Can I surrender the story of suffering? Can I surrender the story of relationship something?' But nobody says, 'I want to surrender the story of the moment when I had a full awakening.' Yeah? So we want to pick and choose and say, 'Ah no, that really happened, that is really true.' But all that always becomes the highest idea because of that. Because those we don't willingly surrender because we got it all wrong. We think that these are things that are... these are the frames and constructs which are helping us, but they're not helping us. They are the ones that can be poked, actually. Our special stories are the ones that can be poked more, please.

And I want to ask you something else. Like, maybe I asked you before, but it's like very everyday. Because I have this state which is like also like a mental condition; it's called depersonalization, when you feel like a dissociation from your body. You feel like you're like stuck outside and it's like very strange to live with this. Like when you say pure perception, for me it's like there is a wall between me and like this, you know? Like I'm stuck in this. Like now, of course, this is more evaluation, no? But it feels like this is my experience there, you know? Like this kind of whatever...

What is it that you perceive? It doesn't feel like you're perceiving? Like it doesn't feel like sight is through the eyes, hearing is through the ears? Is it like that?

Like it feels like everything is... like there is a wall between me and the world.

It's like you're telling me what it feels like. I want to know what is the actual perception. Like right now, you're watching this on a phone or a computer or what?

On the phone.

On the phone. So what is the phone? What is the difference? Like...

I feel like I have to make an effort even to look at this what you're saying, like to look at things.

Well, okay. Like what is being perceived that is blocking the natural looking? Thoughts, probably. Like a strong mental... it's like a veil, you know?

Yes.

Now observe the perception that we call thoughts and tell me how it is strong or weak. Just because the thoughts are 'I am very strong' doesn't make it strong. We need to be able to observe it and see how how strong it is. Is there a big thought, small thought like that? What makes it strong? The Hulk Hogan thought and a tiny, tiny song? There's like a strong insistence that I heard that I'm in trouble, that I have a big problem, you know? And I don't know how to let it go. It feels a little strong.

Now let's look at it today. Let's look at it today very clearly. When we say there is a strong insistence, means because the mind is repetitive or what makes it strong?

Because right now I feel or I believe that there is something wrong with me. Like I'm not in my being, I'm not feeling my being. Something is very wrong. I can't do it. All this thing, yeah.

How do you know this is your condition right now? How do you know this is your condition? To determine our state or our nature, our condition, through the lens of the mind is like to try and see the world more clearly by looking at a kaleidoscope. You know kaleidoscope? Yeah. So it's a mix of kaleidoscope and then I want to try and see the world more clearly, but everything is upside down over there, you see? So to try and determine what is happening to me or what my state is or condition is through the lens of these concepts is just like that, my dear. How do you know what you're saying right now? What your present state is? Most of us are trying to solve things which we notice only in the kaleidoscope.

Yes, but sometimes I feel, many times I feel I can't get out of this kaleidoscope. Like I can't find my true place.

That determination, that framing, is also where?

Yeah, yes.

Tell me something that is limiting which is not just a frame from the mind.

It is always, always. And somehow many times I don't even see through it, you know? I feel like maybe by listening and continuing to follow what you say, like slowly it's becoming more clear and more... yeah, I don't know.

You have to do the same homework. Don't evaluate yourself at all. Okay? Which only means don't buy any frames or evaluations of yourself from the mind. It's like the same homework you had once before, right? Just don't know. It's okay to not know. And it's okay to not believe this big veil like 'I'm such a bad one' and 'I'm so definitely...' Okay, it's more than okay. And if there is anything like that in me, I just... please help me to transcend whatever is there that needed to be overcome. I don't know. Just never worry about this in your whole life. Okay? Can you, at your heart, do you know this? That you are just pure life? There's nothing like this. Don't worry at all. Whatever you feel you're guilty of, just forget about it. It's pure innocence.

It's catching me mostly when there are some interactions with other beings and I feel like some negative stuff inside me, you know? Very negative judgments and stuff. And then it comes like, 'See, you're so negative.'

Just notice what we say negative or positive. It's just the same dreams, the same construct, the same old stuff. Yes. Be negative in your nose and show me. I want to see a negative nose. It's just right there. Don't worry about the head. Positive, negative—all these are just opposites in the head. Don't worry about these things. There's no way in which you have to be. Your being is just being naturally. All these ways of being better or worse are just mental constructs.

Also what you said earlier about seeing the space in which things happen. Yes, because I can see lately like there is a space which is always peaceful, you know? Like even if there's turmoil inside, just recognize this space and this is like, okay, at least I know one thing that is always there and is always...

Don't know this. Okay? Your being doesn't need to know. Your being doesn't need to know. Your being is not based on any frame. Don't allow your life to be defined by anything at all. Thank you. It's very good. Thank you. Thank you. Let's go to...

Hello, my dear. Hello. And I wanted to come... well, first of all, I wanted to thank you for...

Now, like even if there's turmoil inside, just recognize this space. And this is like, okay, at least I know one thing that is always there and is always... don't know this. Okay, okay. Your being doesn't need to know. Your being doesn't need to know. Your being is that based on any frame? Don't allow your life to be defined by anything at all. Thank you. It's very good. Thank you. Thank you. Let's go to...

Hello, my dear. Hello. And I wanted to come... well, first of all, I wanted to thank you for this today's satsang. It was very, very... yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very, very... thank you, thank you, Davey. Thank you, Julian. Thank you, thank you very much. And then, and yeah, I wanted to just to check with you. And I've been seeing, let's see, the one who's trying to frame and to find a... and yeah...

Yes, remember that you must avoid frames about the frames. Yes, so then they will become like meta-frames.

I was doing it. No, it seemed a bit like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, yeah, it's okay, okay. Yeah, but you know, you... yeah, no, you don't give any space to the mind to express. It's...

You can speak. I don't have like... ever since I was joking, I'm just joking. I'm just talking. Okay, there's a popular notion that without the mind we cannot speak. Yeah, it's just a notion. There's nothing like that. It's like, for my mouth to move, it has to be from the mind? No. God can't do it? Speak?

Just to... so even the notion of the one who is identified is a notion.

Yes, every notion. Every notion is a notion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's nothing inherently wrong with a notion. War is not against a notion. The war, if there is one, or the whole act or the job, if there is one, is to take ourselves to be that small that a notion defines us, is telling the truth about us. This is just a notion. But when will it be the truth? If I look at this plant and say, 'Okay, this plant represents me fully.' What? Because it doesn't represent you fully. In the same way, no notion represents your life, anything that is happening. Thank you.

So when we try to do this, I'm watching, let's say now... well, actually yes, well, it's also recognizing from... well, it's...

There's nothing that your heart doesn't know. Everything is not true for that. And the instrument where we try to find out, it doesn't have the capacity to meet the answer. The answer is apparent, as we say, no, is already in. Thank you. Moment. Go to Adrian.

Namaste. Hello, Father. Hello. Thank you so much for everything that you say, guide us. It's... yes, I'm very grateful for satsang. And sometimes I observe this thing. Sometimes you say that awareness cannot be more or less, or the Self, it can't be more or less. And I sometimes have the feeling that as I let go of the thoughts, let go of my head, yes, I am more of myself. But I think it's an illusion because it also is related to the concept of time and progress. And so it also could be based on attention.

It also could be based on attention. When you're not so much in the mind and you're not evaluating and framing so much, you can feel like, 'Wow, I'm so...' Like in the world, we would call that 'I am so much more aware.' I'm so much more aware, really, which means that I am much more attentive to the perceptions that are showing up. So that is why we make the distinction between the two words. Attention is limited and you can be more or less attentive about something, but awareness is always the same. It doesn't matter which state it is: waking state, dream state. It is untouched by anything. So in the waking state itself, it cannot be more or less because it is completely unchanged. But that which is the light of the waking state, which is our attention—the attention which is bringing these perceptions to life—then it can seem to get diffused. Because if you're thinking, like we were trying to do with the glass, if you're thinking and perceiving and hearing something at the same time, okay, you're never fully with that. Yeah. To be more attentive is maybe a nice gift we can give to ourselves, but has nothing to do with self-recognition.

So it means that even when I'm deeply identified with thoughts, the Self, which is awareness, is the same?

Yes, exactly the same. Unchanged. It is not... it does not have a quantity or a quality which can change up or down.

Yeah. It's good. I noticed that it's good not to evaluate awareness based on feelings of openness. I mean, openness of like a more perspective, more space, you know. I think I used to do that, to evaluate how much I recognize my awareness based on how big my... how universal my perspective is. But then, yeah, it's as you say, time is just a concept, and the progress and degrees of awareness progress, all of this is just conceptual constructs. Yeah, sorry, I'm very nervous. Something else that I wanted to share, maybe. Of course, I noticed how... well, I also touched a bit on the subject last satsang. I noticed that in the animal world, animals can have so many expressions, like even virtues. I mean that like some can be very friendly, some can be unfriendly or aggressive. And I sometimes see how animals go through a lot of hardship and difficult or painful things. And I was trying to feel like if they also have the ability to mature through these difficult experiences. As human beings, I guess that we have a capacity to contemplate or to grow. I don't know about the animals, if it's the same, if they have...

Actually, we can't really bring any of that in that context. But if I was to say something half-jokingly, I would say humans have the capacity to get themselves in trouble and get themselves out of trouble. Animals don't get themselves in trouble. What is our true maturing? When we return to the innocence of a child. Of course, we are constructing too generally, but as a broad pointer...

I guess I was asking this because I've seen what can happen to some of these animals, like they go through pain. But I guess they don't suffer so intellectually, mentally about it. I also had a cat for many years and one day I lost her. She fell from my balcony and I haven't found her again. I was very much attached to her and always wondered what happened to her. But yeah, thank you. Thank you, Father.

Thank you. Okay, let's go to Amrita. Namaste.

Namaste. That's not so audible, but let's try. Let's try and hold it. Hello. Now am I a little better, Father? A lot of things got answered just now. I was thinking... but I don't know, it's again the mind question or whatever. Certain things which get sticky, and some it plays out here and it is seen, and then it doesn't have that much of importance in that moment. But for certain things, it is seen that it is playing from the deep attachment, or it's playing out from there, and it plays by it. And then later it's, 'Oh, you did it again.' So without this concept, now what is it? No, it's nothing, but it feels... I mean, there's something which is believed in strongly, or some idea which feels true at times.

Feels true is really in the beginning of satsang. So I was saying, 'feels true' is Maya. Does awareness feel true? What is the difference between 'feels true' and 'is true'?

I mean, that feeling will go. I mean, it'll turn into something.

Yeah, it'll go, it'll come back. If you keep taking what feels true to be true, then we are following Maya. Okay, it's true, it's true, but it's not reality. Or it's reality, but not true. What seems true, we say, 'Oh, but I know it's the mind, it's not really like that, but it feels so true.' Right? But if we go with 'it feels so true' as if it is truth, then we are just going with Maya, because Maya is designed to feel true.

Oh yeah. So for sometimes, for similar things it happens. So it's okay, that is also...

Yes, don't make these construction patterns. Time, causation, all of this, leave it aside because all of this just feels true. Are you aware now?

Yes.

That awareness, does it feel true? So feel with that. It doesn't just feel true; it is recognized in the heart as... and everything else that feels true, know that it is God's beautiful design of Maya. You see, otherwise, if we spend our life solving everything that feels true, we can never do it. We'll never be free from this.

Yeah, it's something... he's very tired of this also. Like, again, that is the same thing. Of course, my dear, feeling happy.

Okay.

Father, one more question for work. Like, probably I'm getting a little more focused for work or getting targets set for myself, and would want to finish certain things in a certain point of time. Sometimes it happens very seamlessly, there's no effort, there's nothing. Sometimes it feels like that I have to surely put a lot of effort, which I don't want to put it on. So like, there's a little contrast, like very paradoxical. I don't know how to function that way.

How to function in that? Don't make any mental categories. Something sometimes it's important to do. Why God can't do it without categories from you? Now, I'm not saying that don't do those things. I'm happy to hear that you're working well. There's no problem in any of that. I'm just saying don't categorize, 'Oh, this was so effortless, this was so... okay, it's hard work.' Don't make this kind of thing. Okay? So I don't make this sensation... yeah, okay. Difficult work, hard work, easy work, effortless work, you know, practical work. I don't know what distinctions you mean. Just let life be life. Everything is life. Don't even distinguish between life and work.

Oh yeah. So there is something here and which is... but it's very strongly... yeah, it comes back obviously.

Don't frame yourself in any construct. The Self that you recognize, can you frame that in some construct? No. Then which Self are you talking about? When you frame yourself in some construct, then which Self is there? I mean, these are the things. Desires also, okay. I'm talking to you after so many months. There's no higher pointing. Why is this all just camouflage? Nice to see you. Yeah. Do you have to frame your life in some notion, 'This is what is happening to me'? What is the use of that?

Thank you so much. Actually, so funny, Father. Like, very funny. It's like we taught this mind how to think and evaluate it, then we taught this plant, and then like one year later this poor plant is just like, 'I feel my branches are not coming out well enough, I feel my color's fading, my complexion is going.' You see? And then we say, 'You must come to plant satsang.' And in plant satsang, you will learn how not to think, how not to believe these concepts about yourself. The plant is fine, it's already like that. See, in the human condition, they cause all this trouble to us as well, and then we rid ourselves of that trouble and then we say...

What is the difference between 'seems true' and 'feels true' and 'Truth'? That's why we have to draw the line. If you keep going with everything that seems true, then this Maya is never-ending. Can you stop being right now? Does that seem true? If it seemed true, forget it. Your experience is true. Actual experience really, actually means... ah, then why do you have one? Let it be. My question, why you have to infer all this? Because if you use your intellect, you will not reach where I'm pointing to you. What is true, it doesn't feel true. I'm not asking you to infer. Okay, what is another thing?

Okay, tell her to talk to me about it a little. Talk... no, after that, I'm just saying it's like a practical thing. Like, it's still... you're getting better. I mean, I... you know, Marisha is landing tomorrow, day after anyway, she will come here. I said, 'Why do I need to spend something extra?' I mean, there's a lot of calculation which is coming up.

You write to me. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay, let's go to Elena. Hello there.

Yeah. I just wanted to come up that there's so much for a few days already and there's a...

After that, I'm just saying it's like a practical thing. Like, it's still you're getting better. I mean, I, you know, Marisha is landing tomorrow, day after anyway, she will come here. I said, why do we need to spend something extra? I mean, there's a lot of calculation which is coming up. You write to me, okay? Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

Hello there. I just wanted to come up that there's so much for a few days already and there's also trying to understand what is happening and resistance to it.

So you can observe that aspect of your being where you're trying to understand, isn't it? You can observe that aspect which you call the mind, intellect. You can see that, you see. Is it happening throughout your being? You're trying to understand, all right. You can see that this is going on.

And I see that I'm not that.

Yes. So there is something about your being which is unconcerned by trying to understand, yes? Or your whole being wants to understand? All the sensations that you perceive are within your being. You can see this. They are not outside of you, no.

They're not outside. They're not outside of you.

So now, does the perception that you call your hand also want to understand? Does the sensation that you call the hand also want to understand? If you bring your attention to the sensation that we call the nose, does that also want to understand?

No.

So it is an aspect of your being which we call the mind, intellect. The mind is what? A bundle of thoughts. The intellect is the evaluative, the judgmental aspect of those thoughts. You see, that's just it. So let that one dance. You don't bother with it.

Yeah, let's try doing it together, okay? And if something grabs you, then you expose it to me that, oh, but I am grabbing that motion. It is true that so many stories, but I keep believing.

So drop this one to start with: no self-evaluation, no judgment about yourself. Just open it, open. You see, it may come, but you're not feeding it apples. Let it come and let it go. Let's remain open. Allow your attention also to go wherever it wants. It's okay. Anything that you end up believing, you can expose that.

Well, I tried to really look into this way. These are thoughts, or what are these? Memories? I think you've been talking about how we frame our life in these constructs, in these conceptual concepts, that this is what I've been doing, this is what I have not been doing.

Right now, can you tell me about yourself? The truth? Tell me in some notion, your entirety of your experience, what are you right now? And yet we believe so much, no? That this is what happened to me yesterday, then this is what my life has been like. If you can't even say for one moment, how can we make these broad sweeping narratives of the world? So when we start admitting 'I don't know,' then we will see that we have to admit that about everything.

So scary, even that you don't know.

Don't be scared of 'I don't know.' When you let go of the evaluative tendency, the judgment, and see the interpreter, then you meet your true intelligence, your presence in your heart.

When I try to listen to my intuition, it's not saying anything.

It's very important. All knowledge does not come only in the mind's construct. Does knowledge come just conceptually? Life is much broader than concepts, see. So some things are not expressible in words, but that does not mean that you're not being guided. That guidance moves the body, moves this universe. That is the intuitive intelligence. So trust the silence. It doesn't always have to come like, 'Do this now, now I'm telling you do that.' That'll just make a doer out of you. Whenever you find yourself believing a construct about your life, the motion about your life, just your full integrity, ask yourself: do you really know this? Thank you.

Now go there. Hello.

Hello, Father.

Hello, my dear. How is it? Still 40 degrees or what?

Still 40 degrees, so it can't be that hot. He dressed up for Satsang. I was happy to see the Ramana. I just put up my hand to thank you so, so much for all three of us, everything. And just looking back for holding my heart and my hand for so many Satsangs. I wouldn't probably be able to stay at Guruji's feet without you, and I don't think any of these two would probably be here either. Full blessings for love.

Thank you. I know. Thank you, thank you.

And they also failed to say something like to my sisters and brothers who are alive. I just want to share that our Bangalore trip for almost a month was such a blessing. And just guys, don't postpone anything for any reasons. Thank you, thank you.

May we see that we are one. Maybe. Okay, told me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Just.