Where Do You Know That What I’m Saying Is True? Stay There – 28th October 2022

It is going to need a leap of faith. As my Master says, you have to be the cow that jumped over the moon. What is that? It is the leap of faith, which means that even at the cost of your highest understanding, if it is demanded that you let it go so that you can receive the gift of true insight, you must let it go without question. If you're going to undertake this super unreasonable project, which is the discovery of the highest being in your heart, it is very unreasonable to discover the highest being in your heart and you cannot do it through intellectual means. You cannot take a hundred rational steps towards that which is beyond all rational understandings.

So if you feel that you've got somewhere and now we just need some finishing touches, forget about it. If you feel that you are not worthy and you cannot get this but you will try your hardest, forget about it. If you feel that you're already there, you've got it already and you're just here to confirm, forget about it. Anything you think, forget about it. If you can place yourself in a narrative, forget about it. Return to the innocence of your infantile nature; there, the vision of God is not just a possibility, but it is your reality.

If you are not willing to risk it all, the way of the heart will sound like a superb poetic, romantic notion which you may say I am aspiring towards, but you will feel that it is never really your actuality. If all of this is about experience, saying, 'I don't care to get a spiritual experience that I had three years ago,' you see, but then I lost it, forget about it. How can you meet that which is beyond all phenomena if all you're chasing is a fantastic experience? So there is no way that you can even rationalize what this project is. All you know is that you are here for some strange reason. You are here now. With the innocence of an infant, follow moment to moment and I promise you that God will no longer seem conceptual. Your Self will no longer seem like a fanciful idea.

The fire in your heart is already lit, so it seems to be clouded in your stories and you cannot have it both ways. Until you switch to the heart, until you switch to intuitive insight, all this talk of awareness and consciousness and beingness, this just sounds like beautiful conceptual knowledge. They really sound like tactics to help you make your life better. Truly, it has nothing to do with that. It is to introduce you to a completely different way of life. Inwardly, your past life will become unrecognizable, although outwardly it may continue to be the same, but you will be unrecognizable to yourself when you have switched over from head to heart.

So I'm starting with this so that you suffer less and you struggle less, because what will happen otherwise is that you will attempt to balance your head and your heart, and in that you will feel like you're on a roller coaster, constant oscillation which has made life worse and not better. And this oscillation is called many things; some call it the forty days and nights. So I'm trying to save you all the trouble by saying hand it over before you start. Hand it all over before you start. And nothing can be squeezed. Consciousness is parading as if it is you, and in that parading of Consciousness as you, Consciousness reserves full power to let go of the words or to give value to it. And you as Consciousness have to dive in today. You have to dive in today, not so that you can make progress on this journey, but so that you can drop the idea of the journey and fully be.

So we must all leave this what I've been calling armchair spirituality, the safe spirituality. 'I'll expose myself a little bit to what he's saying and that will give me one hour of peace, two hours of peace, and then I can go back to the role of life.' This is not a peace-producing mission. At best it may be a byproduct, but don't come if you truly believe in your heart that what I'm asking is not something that you're willing to do. It's okay if you feel it is difficult. It's okay if you believe it is a wrong belief because if you believe that you are not there yet, but if you close your heart to me, then don't come here for spiritual learning unless you're willing to at least aspire to hand all of it over. Because this is not for any spiritual entertainment or to add to your encyclopedia what you have understood. It is not. All this talking is not an attempt for you to understand God. All of the point of this talking is to deconstruct you through the lens of the 'me'. The God that you were identifying will always seem like a distant notion. So although this project is undefinable, these are the broad contours of it. And if we are in this together, then I'm completely with you in service to that. And if we're not in this together, then nice family guy, we can talk casually. So let's go home. Can you hear me?

Yes. It's going to be a bit noisier here because there's some wind.

Yeah, yeah. What you just said is enough.

Just came out because somehow some and some tendencies and stuff are, it's like calling the attention as usual. It's not nothing, nothing different from, but yeah, I wanted to, I think different from the usual, so yeah.

Okay. Are you living in God's light right now? Are you living in God's light? If yes, very good. But if not, you have no excuse. Is God a palpable presence? Or if God is not a palpable word, then is the highest being a palpable presence for you now? It is, you know, and you have no excuse. With no surgery, no safety blanket, I'm going to take your head alone.

Sorry, you want to take my head alone? My head alone? You want to take it along on this journey? What do you mean with this?

I am saying, will you value what your head thinks about what I'm offering to you as well as what I am offered? Are you waiting for confirmation?

Yes, somehow yes. And but at the same time is no, no, I don't need any, any confirmation.

Yes. That part of you which says yes, pounce upon that and say, 'Okay, where would you get this confirmation?' All right? Is it just an avoidance of fear that somewhere I have to know that if I give it all to God, I'm going to be all right? Suppose you had no such guarantee and only then God was available. Would you run? Suppose the discovery of God was super unsafe to everything you take yourself to be. Would you run?

No.

If it is true that you were willing to give up on every emotion you have about yourself, every idea you have about your life, be present wholehearted in this and don't be sheepish.

Yes. All right. It's like the trying to do something. This is like this idea that I keep falling in this trap.

No, because that's the idea. Okay, good. So this is the idea in the head. What is God saying? Where can we go for truth? Where can we go? So if there's an idea in the head but has nothing to do with you, how does it matter? Where can we go for the truth of who we are, of what is happening to us? Is the game to wait for the head to stop?

Yes. All right. The idea should vanish from the head.

Yes.

What I see is trying to recognize something, to recognize the feeling or something that I think I had.

Okay. This is this escape. Yes. I'm just saying it to expose it, not to what we do. It's not total. It's not a, yeah, it's not only that. So yes, whatever happens in the playground of your head has nothing to do with you. Yes. All that you need is available to you intuitively. All that is valuable, all that is worth knowing about you and what we consider to be the world is only available in our heart, in intuition.

We hear that there are rats in our kitchen. We start solving the problem of the rats in the kitchen without ever questioning whether there is a kitchen. Although it's put simply, the minute you take on a project from your head, it proposes the individuality of you and the separateness of you without even having to say it, you see. So you start solving the rat problem while forgetting that there is no kitchen in your house. It has nothing to do with your reality. Where do you know that what I'm saying is true? Stay there. Don't try to convince your head about the truth value of any of this. Where do you know that you exist? I do know that you exist. I just know it. Stay in that just knowing. That is the heart. Where do you know that you are aware? I just know it. Do you know that love is your very nature? Where do you know that you can never die? Stay there. And none of this can ever be known only speculatively.

Where do you know that what I'm saying is true? Stay there. Don't try to convince your head about the truth value of any of this. Persuading people that you exist—I do know that you exist; I just know it. Stay in that 'just knowing.' That is the heart. Where do you know that you are aware? I just know it. Do you know that love is your very nature? Where do you know that you can never die? Stay there. None of this can ever be known, only speculated. Leave that playground; don't bother with it. You're never going to change the spots on that leopard. Don't try to change the nature of your mind. You stay in your heart. Don't try to convince your mind. Don't try to make it stop bothering you. None of those projects you have to do. Stick with the presence in your heart. Stay with the insight about your reality. That which you just know is the highest intuitive presence. If you just know the highest, why work hard for the lowest? Where would you rather stay? It's absurd. It is fully absurd that we are trying to squeeze the highest, which is so effortlessly clear—we're trying to squeeze that into the tiniest bucket that we can find and say, 'Until it fits into that, until then, I'm not here.' There's no hope for you in the bucket.

But why do these drops of water keep coming? How does it matter? You're swimming in the ocean; it doesn't matter. So we rely on that knowledge which you just know, not on the knowledge which you have to work for. But don't say to me that 'I am trying to do this' and 'I am trying to do that.' This is all knowledge you're working for. Leave that. Tell me something which you just know. How much of you do you want to keep alive in your discovery of the Self? How much of you do you want to keep in mind? The only answer is zero. Only zero works. What is the process now? Are you still trying to squeeze this in your head? Yes? No? Be Zen with me. You'll be straight away. It is my job to give you the same stuff. Either you say, 'No, I'm not,' and it's done, finished. Are you here? Yes. This is true, what I'm doing. And when I tell you to stop, yes, it seems that I'm doing it because I'm listening to the mind. So stop it. Stop it. Don't think about it. Stop it. Stop it. Who's going to stop with you? Stop it. Yeah, that's it. Yes. Because the highest being in the universe is your being. It is not powerless against this tiny mind saying, 'But how?' We'll talk, no? Dive into this ocean. I'm here to tell you that you can, because what is available to the Father is available to the son. It's not hidden from you. It is your Atma. Can you live like this? Yes, you can. Okay, let's go to Dale.

Hello, Father. Hello, my dear. It's the second week of my half-term. I know I came last week, so I have to take my children somewhere in about twenty minutes, so it'll be a much quicker one than last time. I've actually had a really, really good week. It's sort of kind of being recognizing that as consciousness, you have the choice to engage with thoughts or not. And that's been excellent. If you can forgive me a quick analogy, I was trying to say how do I describe how it feels? It feels as though it's like the concept of seeing your inbox of emails, and you can get the smell of what the email is about and whether or not you want to engage or click on it or not. So I've spotted that lots this week, that I could sense the perfume of the email trying to again get me into a conversation on some spiritual ego-driven experiment, and just knowing I don't have to engage with it at all. And I've seemed to be quite intuitively able just to take attention away from it. So it's there, taking up my space, but I don't have to engage at all. Whereas other things... yeah, I do that analogy a bit.

I can add to that analogy. It's really like suppose you had a visitor who is sitting in your living room and you said, 'Hey, give me a minute, I'll just be back. I'm checking my email.' But then while you check your email, one minute has gone, ten minutes have gone, one year has gone, ten years have gone, a hundred years have gone, a hundred lifetimes have gone, and the visitor is still waiting in your living room. So really, this is what is happening. God is waiting in the heart, you see, and we are just checking our email. So this is the invitation in Satsang: recognize that one that has always been your very presence and to have a true meeting with that. To have a true meeting with them. We have forgotten that we had this visitor in our house because the inbox seems to have been so compelling. Let go of that whole computer, you know? The visitor in your heart—of course, it's an analogy because it's not really a visitor; it is your very presence, which is the presence of God.

That's lovely.

So the function of the outer appearing Master is just to say, 'Hey, you have a visitor. Remember?' You say, 'What is it?' They say, 'Come, come, He's waiting for you.' 'Who is He?' 'Okay, come, you'll see.' They say, 'What about all my emails?' 'Give me the emails. Come with me, because the visitor is worth it. It's worth it more than all the emails.' It starts beeping and touching the inbox. 'Yeah, but then what about this? What about this? This needs your urgent attention. Important, important, important! The world will fall apart unless you answer that email.' Really, he wants to say, 'No, you come, because I am that visitor and I am no longer the same.' In one meeting, you must meet this one. You must meet this one. Your very presence is beyond any amount of godliness that the mind can fathom. It's not anything that can ever be exhausted, and it's not a meeting worth postponing for the most compelling, most urgent thing. Many of you use your spirituality also as a means of postponing. We use our spirituality also as a means of postponement because we want to come to it as a unique discovery that we have made. You have to just follow. It sounds not nice to the ego to just follow. It feels like... but some... one of these children said, 'I want to have something original about it.' He was sitting here. He said to me that, 'Yes, yes, what you're saying is fine, I can follow, but see something original in the way I have found it.' Be careful of this voice, because there is only one way to God, and that is through the heart. And the call for originality and uniqueness is just a sort of specialness, a sort of egoic trap. 'Yeah, which is here, I found God in this way because I said what is being plus aware minus...' It's been a good answer. Fully just dive in. You don't have to understand. It is not at all rational. It is never missing. It is never available in half measure. Everything is already known. Burn up every bit of progress you have ever made. Burn it up. If you value progress, you will not value the leap of faith. The mind will keep you on an incremental illusory journey to God because the one who's on that stage is the non-existent 'me.' Allow the explosion to happen. Allow it to take over everything.

And as you come to this, as you're coming to this and it becomes apparent to you, choosing to live in your heart in this way, it is very natural that the body will be used as an instrument to share. That's very light. So what you are discovering already is that the way of teaching this is very different from the way of teaching like a subject at work, because there is no curriculum really. Allow your heart to guide you in a joint love for God, the joint meeting with God.

Thank you, Father. I don't know why I put up my hand. As soon as Satsang started, my heart started beating very fast and the mind came very strong. It's been very intense the last couple of days. A lot of... I like Dale's analogy, the email... a full email, that's how it's been. And whether it's walking or sitting in the room, it's just very loud and very attacking.

Yeah. What about the visitor in your living room? How important is the narrative about your relationship with that visitor in your living room, in the same analogy? Who is that living in your heart, and what's your relationship with that? Is that strong or sweet or what? What is the nature of that?

It's a feeling. I keep going to Kaisha so much because of how she's shown me so clearly how to drop everything so quickly. And thank you, please thank you, Judith, you have been there so much. And there's a certain thought that keeps coming that I know...

I am asking about your relationship with the visitor in your heart, not about the email box.

I don't know.

And that must become your project, your only project. The only dance is to find God within your heart, not to decipher what the mind is saying, not to measure how much of a particular energy is being experienced, not to see what's happening in the body. All this will go. You promised? Of course. We know everything you perceive will go. Everything. It comes and it goes. Now, are you concerned about that which will go, or that whose presence is in your heart?

I just want to let go of everything that's coming. I just want to be able to let it come and go and not...

I'm showing you what you have to follow. You cannot do it your way, as much as you would like to. You have to allow me to set the course. That requires innocence. You say... I am saying to you: meet the one whose presence lives in your heart. And your mind will come and say, 'But what I actually want is to let all this stuff go.' See? So somewhere you have to learn how to just follow with the innocence of a child. Do you feel that the greater gift will be received if you follow your mind's curriculum or by following what I am pointing you to?

Thank you.

So right now, do you exist? Yes. That very presence is God's presence, is God's light. There is no higher being than this presence. This is not individual; it is the light of this universe. If you are meeting this, if you're in service to this, then whatever is on the screen—the body, the emotions, the energy—all of that is all dancing to the tunes of this Piper. Meet this Piper in your heart. Bow down to this in your heart. Hug this in your heart. Meet yourself in this way and give up all other self-concern, because all that self-concern is not about the true Self. The highest has been shown to you. Help is coming from all directions. Kaisha has helped, things... all the help is being made available. You have to let go of your idea of what needs to happen.

I don't know anything.

Yeah, that's good, to not know. And even don't know that you don't know. Even don't know, and don't venture into that field of knowing at all. Then your meeting with God is uninterrupted. But if you keep trying to understand what something means and whether it is helping you or not, then the mind will pull you back into trying to help the non-existent 'me.' How to stop that? Tell me about what God is saying instead of what the thought is saying.

I've been crying so much lately because I feel so tired.

Let's go to God for a true report about yourself. Go to your heart. Only go to your intuition for a true report about yourself. Now tell me again, what is happening to you?

The highest is contained because you are the changeless reality.

You have to face your fear. There's been a lot of very strong nightmares and images coming, and yes, what is the best way to face your fear? What is the best way to face your fear? It is not to try and interpret what it means. It is to notice it and seek refuge in your heart. Notice it and then seek refuge in your heart. Not to analyze it, not to measure it, not to try to cure it or defeat it. The fear will stop you from letting go. It will say, 'But what if? What if you lose your mind? And there is no God?' Just say that, 'Yes, this is the fear. On the advice of this strange man living in India, I don't mind. And actually, if it turns out there is no God, what will happen to you?' That is the leap of faith you have to make.

What it means is to notice it and seek refuge in your heart. Notice it and then seek refuge in your heart; not to analyze it, not to measure it, not to clean it, cure it, or defeat it. The fear will stop you from letting go. It will say, 'But what if? What if you lose your mind? And what if there is no God?' I just say that, yes, this is the fear. 'On the advice of this strange man living in India, I dropped my mind and actually it turns out there is no God. What will happen to you?' That is the leap of faith you have to make because I cannot reassure you anymore. I have told you that I have found these gifts through my Master's Grace, and I'm here to show you it is the highest gift possible. That is the only reassurance I can give you.

What if I'm not worthy? What if I have not understood what he said? None of those are related. All I invite into your heart is God. You cannot do it wrong if you follow in innocence. What can you follow? You cannot follow—I am not giving you a series of steps that I can put in a book and say, 'Okay, just follow this.' You just have to follow your heart moment to moment, where all that is truthful is, isn't it?

I just want to give that up as well. Yes. Now you must know that they are mine, and don't take them back.

So, Father, thank you. I just wanted to first of all just thank you for your such powerful and life-changing pointings. This journey to my family home, you know, it's sort of a pilgrimage because this is where my grandparents lived and both my parents, and everybody's passed on, so they passed away. So, you know, the thing is when you visit a place which is so filled with, you know, intimate memories of your close ones, it does test you because, you know, the full play of emotions is highly amplified. So when I came here yesterday, I felt, you know, sort of the full onslaught of grief and remembrance and nostalgia and all. And, you know, it might have swept me away, but I was able to put my attention on awareness itself and recognize that everything is, in fact, a prodding, as you said, to move away from the content and into the witnessing position. And with Grace, it's just been since—the whole day today, it's been like I've been in satsang the whole day. There's been this powerful sense of presence and peace and place and gratitude. So, as you said, the way of the mind is just actually like being in hell, and then if you just are able to switch to witnessing, you're just still and in peace. So I just wanted to kind of play that, and I wanted to request your blessings and any pointings. I don't want to wait to jump. I just want to—I don't know, whatever is calling me back, I just want to cut back. So I just want blessings for that.

Full blessing, full blessing for that. Very beautiful report. I got the essence of focusing. Just for everyone's benefit, I want to dig a little bit into one of the points you're making. This is to clear—and I'm aware that you don't have that misunderstanding, but it's a common one, so let me use this opportunity to clarify that. So we may see at times that 'I kept my attention on awareness or the witnessing.' Actually, we can never bring our attention to awareness or the witnessing. So I realized what he was saying is more that you did not so much put belief or meaning into the content of what was showing up in front of you, and you kept yourself in the apparency of self-knowledge. In what we call the apparency of self-knowledge, which is very academic, social terms—I mean, you'll find better ones—but what I'm saying is that intuitively, self-knowledge is known to you. And when we are open and empty, then this self-knowledge is apparent. Who we are, who we truly are, is apparent. Even in the play of perception, it is not lost.

You can try it, actually. You can try it and see that as you may have all this visual stimulus, all of that, you never have an insight where you see that it's only perception. You never have—I'll use the term experience—you'll never have an experience where you say, 'What I find is only perception.' That you are witnessing all of these perceptions is always apparent to you, even though that which is witnessing is never perceived. See, as you open and empty, perceptions are visible, and in fact, they are tasted fully. What's on the screen of Consciousness can be fully enjoyed in pure perception, you see? But you can never just enjoy pure perception because in pure perception, the fact that you are there as the unperceivable witnessing of these perceptions is already apparent to you, but not apparent to your head, you see?

So to remain open and empty is to remain in the heart, or to remain in the palpable presence of being is to remain in the heart. It's the same. Or to remain in the pure perception of this world is to remain in the heart. It's all the same because you cannot do it piecemeal. You could only do it piecemeal if you were using your attention: 'I'm using my attention to stay in myself.' You cannot, because then you would have to objectify the Self. The attention can only give you a perception. So what you may be trying to say is that you have withdrawn your attention from only perception and rested it in a dark, empty space, or rested it in the presence of your being, which is fine. Either are fine. Or even to be in the pure perception of the world, because in any of these, the Self is not lost. It is apparent to you, but it is never perceivable.

So this apparency, this clarity without needing conceptual clarity or a perceptual experience, you see, is open and empty. It's the most natural way to be. But because we got used to complexity, this seems like it is effort as well. So while it seems like it is effort, we can make the effort. And my prodding and provocation is for you to surrender and let go so that as you remain open and empty, the mind cannot that easily push the buttons and say, 'Come, come, I've got this for you, but this better not happen to you.' If you hand it over to God, then these invitations from the mind are not that attractive. So as we let go, this becomes the apparency of self-knowledge. It seems to deepen, although it is fully available 100% in every moment. And as the apparency of self-knowledge is this clear, this apparent, then it's easier to let go of a false identity as well. So in this way, the vicious circle of the mind—which is leading to identity more and more, and the more you bite, the more you are attracted to buying more of it, you see, and then it becomes like a vicious circle—is then broken into a virtuous circle of surrender and self-knowledge. I have forgotten who I was speaking with. Let's go to the next one.

Can you hear me? Yes. So today, your introduction, your words at the beginning, were for me the sharpest ever. Like, very hard for me. And I really—

Hard or easy?

Hard. Hard, yes. The part when you ask if you're holding anything, like you can hide back, made up from concepts, or can you just let everything go? And I don't give you any currency. And so much fear arose in me, and I just realized I can't. I mean, it is too—I don't know, I'm not brave enough, or yeah. It is just like really death or something, to entirely die and not keeping anything from myself. And it suddenly seems so impossible. And at the same time, I am here for this. I know this is like a contradiction with myself, but something inside me says, 'No, no, it is now.'

This is very beautiful because this is exactly what I was provoking. This is exactly what I was talking about. Now, there are some who have transcended this and may feel like, 'Yes, everything is yours, Father.' And there are some who may be thinking they have transcended this and may be conceptually saying, 'Yes, yes, everything is surrendered, okay, okay.' But most of you are in this boat, which is to say when this kind of provocation comes, then you experience a fear of losing everything that you know. Exactly. And that can seem like death. Yeah, okay. That was exactly what the provocation is: to confront the core of the problem. This happened. This is the project. Exactly. Very beautiful. You said that I said, 'No, I can't do it because what about this? Well, I can't really let go of that.' You see, whatever that 'that' maybe is not important. It's okay, you see? And also you said, 'But I'm also here for this. I'm also here for this.' You see? So you are like that guest who has got two invitations on the same day. You see? Which one will you RSVP?

So an aspect of you, you see, which I am representing in an outward view but that is actually your inner presence, the same comes: 'Come, come, come to the truth. Done with the games, all this mental stuff, all these tactics and make-believe spirituality, armchair spirituality. You're done with all of that. Okay, come.' One is that voice of your heart. The other is saying, 'No, no, you cannot, because where is the safety in that? What is the guarantee? How do you know that you'll be happy? How do you know that you will not end up ten times worse?' Smell both of these voices and follow the fragrant one. And if these words are confusing, I can use other words. Smell both of these voices and follow the fragrant one.

I know fragrant, like a flower or something.

Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty good. And garbage is nauseating. Yeah, yeah. So smell that which is saying, 'I am here for this.' Smell that which is done with the followers. Find the one that you find fragrant, even if there is fear dancing everywhere. Yeah, you follow this nose. Follow the smell of Love. Follow the smell of Peace. Follow the smell of Truth. Because it is never going to shout. It is never going to shout. I may shout here as the outer expression and say, 'Stop it!' But your heart will never shout. Your heart is immensely patient. Time is nothing for it. So it creates an alarm clock in the external form of the Master, which means, 'Wake up! Wake up now! Wake up now!' Excuse me, but it itself you have to smell for.

So smell the voice which says, 'No, no, I can't do it. I can't do it. All this is going too far, too fast. I'm not ready. I'm not worthy. I am not devoted enough. I want for my relationships to happen. I want for my life to go this way. I can't let go.' Smell what that smells like. Smell that fear. Smell what it makes you believe yourself to be, and notice that that is the stink of the mind.

This offered me a kind of false safetiness or some kind of ground at least I can stand on, or at least something I can touch or hold.

I have a better—sorry, I'm changing everybody's metaphors today. It is offering you the crutches. You know crutches? The crutches. If you can't walk well, then you use crutches. It is saying, 'No, no, what if you fall? You need these crutches.' You see? 'What is the guarantee that you will fly?' And the heart is saying, 'Fly! Fly!' I cannot convince your mind. I cannot prove to you that you will fly, but somewhere you have to jump. I know what the mind is offering you is not safety, but oppression. Yeah, limitation. The conviction that you need crutches. The conviction that you need this support. Yeah, that you need this to work. Your old man walking stick, you need it, you see? 'Now come, use me. I'm here to help you.' In the humble-sounding words, it is trying to oppress you. It is trying to make you sleep. This is mental slavery. This is hell. This is what I've been calling a comfortable hell, a familiar hell which we are scared to leave because at least we say, 'Okay, I'm in hell. I suffer from time to time, but I have my moments of happiness.' That is not a way to live. It is like making do with a comfortable hell because it seems familiar.

Yeah, and at least I know myself, or I understand something. I can have something in my hand. I'm happy—at least I'm happy to fool myself.

It is trying to make you sleep. This is mental slavery. This is hell. This is what I've been calling a comfortable hell, a familiar hell which we are scared to leave because at least we say, 'Okay, I'm in hell, I suffer from time to time, but I have my moments of happiness.' That is not a way to live. It is like making do with a comfortable hell because it seems familiar, yeah? And at least I know myself or I understand something; I can have something in my hand. I'm happy—at least I'm happy to fool myself every day that I am this body, and then I want a relationship and I want money, and then, you know, I go to satsang to find some peace and then I can manage my life this way. At least it seems familiar. 'What is he offering me? It seems so scary because it is no thing.' Yeah, nothing is subtler than Spirit itself. What can I grasp? Yeah, hold on to there?

So I'm here to tell you that if you take this project to come to God, I will help you in every single way possible. I'm there with you fully with my help, my support. This will become your reality if you're open to this. But I'm not here to indulge in any sort of making hell livable. I'm not interested in that project of trying to make you live in a comfortable hell. I'll make it more palatable because then can I have a recliner in my comfortable hell? You know, can I use spiritual concepts to help me when I'm being ghosted fully? I thought I need to know, but I don't need to know. In fact, it cannot be like the way of the heart. The presence you are, the reality of your awareness of even the presence, cannot be known in the way we think knowing works.

Thank you so much. Okay, let's go to channel. Hello, can you hear me?

Yes, yes. Hello, hello. I'm actually here today because lately I've benefited a lot, a lot from your audio recordings and I'm here to say that I recognize you. I mean, I recognize the Master in you. And my mind is playing games now, like because I have a love for a few Masters. Yes, like I listen to also one from Poland, yeah, because in the Polish language. But this is stupid, I don't know.

No, it's okay. It's okay. It's a fair question to ask, so it doesn't matter so much. Okay, let's dive deeper into it. So if you find that the Masters you are listening to bring you to your heart, bring you to God's presence, God's light in you—to that which is aware even of that—then the expressions that you are listening to, it doesn't really matter so much. But if you find yourself becoming a collector of spiritual concepts—a little bit from Ananta's words, a little bit from that one, a little bit from here—so you're creating the perfect instruction manual for yourselves, you see? Where you can feel like, 'Now I've got the best from everyone,' you see, 'and I have designed the perfect way for myself to become free.' Then you're wasting your opportunity with all of the Masters. I'm saying the highest gift is available to you right now. Whatever that expression may be—it can be Ananta, it can be any other—it doesn't matter so much.

Is it like... because the mind is sometimes saying, 'Oh, you are betraying the other Master when you go to this Master,' or you have to... this feeling that this spiritual ego part is saying that, 'Oh, look how good you are, you are following only one Master, you are so devoted to only one.' Yeah, it can say like this. Yes, but I... I like... this is... I don't know what to say.

Okay, let's try it another way. There is no relationship of love unless God is involved. No relationship of love unless God is involved. So if the Master and disciple relationship is a relationship full of the highest levels, then God must be number one in that relationship. So wherever you find the presence of God truly in your heart, and not because of what your head is saying, then you can safely stay there, whether that takes the form of a hundred different Masters showing in front of you or you settle into one. That is all right.

And sometimes, sometimes I'm a little bit embarrassed to say things like I would like to end it, to end it and not to... because I have this tendency to... I have a whole pile of books behind me and sometimes it wakes up this ego and it wants to use this spiritual knowledge, the little bit it thinks it gained, yes, for its own purposes. And it wants to... maybe I don't know what is the true reason, maybe it wants to make somebody proud, itself or their parents, I don't know. And maybe make money or maybe something, I don't know, I don't know.

It's good that you notice it. It's very good that you notice because it is the blind spots which are more painful, which are more troublesome to notice. It is good. Now, there's nothing wrong with the books. There's nothing inherently wrong with the books. But as you read the book, you must meet the one that is sharing in the heart. You must not meet it only in the level of words. Because if you read too many books and you meet them in the level of words, you will just end up with a lot of spiritual ideas and confusion.

Yeah, it says sometimes like, 'Oh, there will come a time when you will be maybe enlightened enough so we can really finally start reading,' or something like this. You can finally start again, you can finally... I mean like, you just finally start reading and apply the knowledge from the books so you can maybe improve your life here while you are here, maybe get a better job or something like this.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with any of that. Everything that can happen in God's light is completely fine and unadulterated by the pushes and pulls of the mind. Whatever is playing out in the outer lives is completely fine, whether that is reading a book or whether that is doing a job. Nothing that I'm really saying has anything to do with your outer lives. And don't judge yourself. I don't judge you on what actions of the body are happening; you also must not judge yourself based on that. That is a primitive way to find. You can smell inwardly what you are devoted to. Inwardly you can smell what you're devoted to. Are you devoted to God's presence? Are you devoted to the light of the service? Or are you devoted to the selfishness of the head? So smell for that moment to moment. And anytime you start to create a bit of a stink, just take refuge in your heart. And in the refuge of your heart, whether outwardly you're reading a book or you're sitting in some yoga pose or you're sharing or you're saying the silliest of things, making jokes with your friends in a pub—all that doesn't matter.

And another may also say something like, 'I have these spiritual ideas.' There may be from the old... how what you are speaking today... like how I want my personal enlightenment to finish, finally finish something. This is really like tiring for me.

Before you worry about all the others, use one idea fully and come to the inside which is beyond all ideas. And then again, like I said about the outer expression, I'm sensing that something they want to share responds to all of that. All of that has time. There is time for all of that. But first learn to live independent of all of that. Learn to live in the company of your heart, in the way of your heart.

I would like to really fully participate in satsang. And maybe it's a little bit easier for me to talk with you because the other teacher, she is a woman, you know? So sometimes these fantasies may come and stuff, and even some spiritual desires like, 'Oh, I will be with my Master, she's old,' and like this. So thank you, thank you very much. Thank you. I hope I follow all my blessings.

Let's go to Keisha.

Hi Father, can you hear me? I just wanted to say hi and just tell you that I love you so much. And I miss everyone in Bangalore, but I have to say I'm so happy to see everyone's face here. Like, there's something so beautiful about it being back on Zoom and getting to see everyone's face. And I don't know, I'm just really happy to see everybody's face and yeah, just release. Yeah, I don't know.

Hey, thank you. Let's go to Beatrice. Really, were you going somewhere? Sorry if you were going somewhere, because you vanished from the chair for a moment.

Because the camera is here, but all the stuff is there. So yesterday I noticed that there is like a shape or something trying to control, to be in the heart.

What do you mean by notice?

And by notice I mean that I saw... no, I see... no, I see that it's not true to me.

Hey, explain it. Saw this, or this, or this? The heart? Yes. What does your heart say? There's no point just like talking about the way of the heart and then the way of the heart becomes a compartment in our head. 'Well, I think I know the way of the heart because it's not like that.' Then you have to come up with another way of expressions. Yeah, heart say more. Are you living in God's light?

Yes, that's it.

In God's light, what do you need to understand? Nothing. All that can be known is already known intuitively. The only task of satsang is to move you from head to heart. To make spirituality into an understanding is like a safe spirituality because you can have a concept. Your heart may explode your entire life into an unfathomable light. That sounds too risky. So we try to—without realizing that we do this—what we try and do is make that into something that we can fathom in our heads, you see? And then it becomes a compartment of our head saying, 'Oh yes, in my reality nothing is happening to me,' or this is what it is. Just leave all that.

Sorry, and exposing this theme, which are the shapes of exposing... exposing...

No, no. Exposing, I know, is a very clever trick. Now, in the garb of exposing, we are just telling me what you are valuing. You say, 'I am exposing so you can take it, burn it.' No, but actually what mostly we are doing in the garb of exposing is to try and put our point of view across. 'This is what I think, this is what I believe.' Exactly. Is it a way to provide oxygen to the way of the head? It feels like a sleep is needed for being free or something, but that...

So, okay, let me use another example. Suppose there are two fires in your being. The fire that gets most attention gets the most oxygen. So now, even in the garb of exposing, we give attention to the false one, then that one gets more oxygen. What's wrong with being in your heart? Just staying in your heart, what goes wrong?

Nothing. But I am... no, it... I feel I am already in this body happening or something and...

Yeah, this is the thing, you know? This is, this is, this is... that's it. That's the heart. That laughter is the heart. That's it. That's the heart. That's it. Actually, that's true. Papaji said you cannot think and laugh at the same time. What do you think?

You can never understand, make an understanding of God. You can never make an understanding out of that which is true. And have faith in that and let go of your head, or you can just spend a lot of your life trying to do that and come to the same conclusion. What do you want to do? You want to do my way or your way?

Your way. I... my way, I don't know. The following seems oppressive much. I am aware of this because here also I have this life, it's strongly independent sort of thing, you know? How smart I can get, this I can do this with you. And to follow seems like, 'No, that's for idiots' or something. Only idiots follow.

But it's actually to follow... to follow is the highest gift you can give to yourself because it is an antidote to your specialness. It's an antidote to your ego. You don't have to be original, you don't have to be unique. God is doing all that anyway. You don't have to do any of that. Yes, to the innocence of a child. Hold my hand, and if you commit to me that you follow, then I'm going to pull you, okay? I'm going to drag you if I need to. Yeah? Yes. You have the power to say no as well, you see? 'No, I don't follow.' It's fine. That's fine too. But this one is not...

The gift you can give to yourself is an antidote to your specialness; it's an antidote to your ego. You don't have to be original. You don't have to be unique. God is doing all that anyway. You don't have to do any of that. Yes to the innocence of a child. Hold my hand, and if you commit to me that you follow, then I'm going to pull you, okay? I'm going to drag you if I need to. Yes. Do you have the power to say no as well? You see, no, I don't follow. It's fine. That's fine too. But this one is not what I am. So if you feel in your heart you want to follow, then just dive in with me into the holy presence.

You don't have to conclude. You don't have to interpret. You don't have to make a judgment about yourself. If you follow me and then you make a judgment about yourself, you make a judgment about me as well. If you hold my hand and we work together and you say, 'But I'm not walking in the right way,' you're also saying that I'm not walking in the right way. And the capacity in your head you need for that judgment is not there. So just innocently follow. To follow, don't understand it. It would not be following. Where is the trust needed if it's already making sense? Allow your mind to scream and shout and see how to follow. I mean, Brazil, because somewhere, I don't know, in Mexico, how to follow? Don't understand. Just carry that intention in your heart full-heartedly. That's all you need to do. Yes, I am already, Father. Am I okay? Hey, let's go to Snapchat.

Hello, can you hear me? Yes, okay. I had to come directly. In French, there is some echo. Maybe later. There was some echo in my head. Excuse me for my bad English, maybe, but I had to come because I'm hiding and I'm following. I'm almost the only thing I'm doing is following your and Mooji's satsangs already for a very long time. And like, still the heart or being in my heart is not so apparent. It's mostly I'm engaged or triggered by thinking, and it's unbearable. It's really unbearable. And I'm like also quite unfunctional for daily life. And it's horrible thoughts of like ego is pushing me in really bad directions just to preserve its existence. And I'm somehow falling for it. And there are maybe some seconds of recognition, but I cannot hold on without jumping back to thinking. And I gather so much, like I say, even beside my ego, my spiritual ego became very well-learned with different pointers. And now they are coming like when I feel that I'm the real Self, that I'm in truth, yes, immediately like I am chatting with pointers again with my mind. And now it's maybe really time. I was somehow hiding behind others or trying to get it or get through to others, being envy or not envy. Why don't I get it? Maybe I will get it through others. But it is not really the right thing. It's not direct. So I need your help. Thank you.

Thank you for coming up. Thank you for not hiding today. I so appreciate it. I'm so grateful that you took the step, that you were courageous and you said, 'I will come up. I will expose this today.' And that itself is very good. Now, you said something like your being in your heart is not clear to you and mostly you're just thinking. Was it like this? If I ask you whether you exist, would you answer that you do because of just a thought that you exist?

I immediately start to think if I exist or start to question with my mind, so I exist or don't I?

Yeah. So notice that although your mind may start throwing these thoughts at you—'Do I exist? What should I answer? I don't know'—you see, all these thoughts can come. But is there a different insight that you have which shows you your existence, that you exist? Or is it only thought? Okay, let's try a simple one.

It seems like I don't recognize it, that I'm thinking.

Are you sitting?

Yes.

To confirm that you are sitting, you had the perception of a body that was sitting. But that it is you sitting, where was that known? Don't worry if the mind gets confused. Take your time. That you have to exist before you are sitting or standing—that knowledge, did it come to you from a thought?

Like, no knowledge like this is coming to me really. It's like it's obvious that I'm sitting. And now, if it is me or not, of course it's me, but it's not—yeah, that's an idea.

Okay, this is very good. This is already very good. That obviousness is heart knowledge, you see? Our mind will not accept that because we are expecting heart knowledge to feel like, 'Oh, this must happen and it must be with so much love' or something like that. No, it is that knowledge which does not need steps. It does not need thinking. It does not need time.

I am looking like for a recognition of it in a way. Like, I'm all the time trying to recognize. I'm trying so hard.

Yes, my child. Yes, very good, very good. We're having this conversation because this is confusion that many of us have. What you are calling recognition—actually, what you're waiting for is some sort of a perception of it. And when you're saying that it's obvious, you're seeing, but there's no perception needed. But this is the unperceivable knowledge. It's how very funny, because then you can say, 'But this has always been here.' This obviousness has always been here. Before you start troubling yourself with thinking, it's already apparent that you are. Yes or no?

Somehow directly, yes. I'm like, speaking with you from where else? Not from through my head. And I cannot—I'm surprised that it is possible.

Yes, yes. This is the beauty of it. That although we recognize that it seems so fresh in the recognition and it's new, in the recognition we also see that it's always been like this. It's just so simple, just so direct, timeless. So you came to a recognition of your existence without needing a thought and without needing any perception. That is the intuitive example. It's strange and weird and everything at the same time. We cannot understand this. Now your mind is like, 'Can I keep this? Is it always like this? What's happening really?' All that doesn't matter. What you're saying...

Yeah, it's really possible without going to my mind to be.

That's it. So from here, without going to your mind, tell me if you have a boundary.

No. No boundary recognized.

Okay, let's see if we can go further. Just from here, without going to the mind, can you die?

There is no dying.

You're bringing tears to my eyes. This is heart knowledge, my child. This is the way of the moment. This is Grace. Where you may feel that for years we've been oppressed with the mind, we cannot meet the pointing of the Masters, but in an instant it becomes available. It's okay. The mind will tell you things. It's okay. So good. Let them come and let them go.

I don't know if I dare to see thoughts or not now. Without them, it's like after I met Mooji the first time on the hot seat, then I was just like, 'I don't want to go to sleep because this may go away.'

I'm here. Thank you. Don't believe me, please. You don't have to hold on to anything. Directly, you cannot lose this. It is my blessing to you. You cannot lose this. Yes. And in one instant of this insight, you have met all the words of the Masters. Don't try to understand this. You know this is true in your heart. There is no doing. Just okay. Thank you. Thank you.

Namaste, Father. Can you hear me?

Yes. It's good you came because I saw your message and I was just like, 'Come to Bangalore.'

Father, your blessing came. Jyotima called after an hour and I think just a few words she said and they kind of really stuck with me. Yes. So, Father, there has been complete burning physically also and there's a lot of anger. And of course, while I was listening to the satsang today, there was a lot of recognition of the narration that I was living in. And because there was so much of anger that came out today, it was like physically shaking off all, you know, verbally. I didn't recognize as a little bit of somewhere the thing of the old thing of 'Why did so much anger happen?' or the second punch that keeps coming. So I just wanted to just give it up here. But what stuck with me, Father, was the analogy that you gave and which Jyotima also mentioned is the rats in the kitchen. And what if there's no kitchen? So there's no kitchen only, you know? So that just blew my mind, you know? And that kind of just cleared off a lot of identification or narration—I don't know what to call it also anymore. And I wanted to hear more. I mean, I just...

Yes, this is good to explore because it exposes the nature of the mind so much. Because the mind—we say the mind creates the notion of the 'me' and creates a separation, creates an individuality. But the way it does it is not that straightforward. It doesn't say, 'There is a you, you are an individual, you are separated.' It doesn't say that. Because how we can spot that and we know that that is it? It says, 'What you need to work on now is your being in peace all the time.' Yeah? When you say, 'I need to work on the peace problem,' you presume the existence of a separate you. Okay? So just like saying, 'I need to get rid of those rats from my kitchen' without ever exploring, 'I never had a kitchen. Where is the kitchen?' Because you have taken the notion of the rat problem, you have bought into the kitchen. In the same way, the peace problem is proposing a 'me,' you see? So this is the trickery of the Maya, of the proposition of individuality, that it doesn't come up front and say, 'There is a you.' It will say, 'Why am I getting so angry? Work on the anger problem. Why am I not living Father's words? Why am I not living in God's life? Work on the God's life,' you see? And in that, there's a presumed 'you' which actually never existed. So when you can start reading the subtext of the mind, when you can start checking when the mind says, 'You need to get rid of those rats in the kitchen,' you see? Or even if you say, 'Actually, it's good to have some rats in the kitchen,' either way, you're presuming the non-existent kitchen exists. Yeah? Is this so? Both in the notion of progress and in the notion of needing to work on something is the presumed identity.

Father, I could see the identity or the position which said that it's okay from here for those rats to be there, you know? It was again another position of, you know, like a spiritual angle. Or, you know, I've been seeing how earlier the spiritual tool one would, you know, be okay with things and everything. So there's a lot of sheets and layers to it that are falling.

The spiritual compartment of our head is not spiritual at all. It is the most high spiritual, you see? It is the rituality in the guise of spirituality. It is arrogance. It is specialness. It is a resistance to God. So it is the most devious form of egotism, you see, posing in the garb of well-dressed spirituality. Yeah, absolutely. If you can be spiritual without the fire in your heart, then that is not spirituality. And this is what I am ranting so much against these days. This is what I'm calling this safe spirituality. You're comfortable hell.

Yes, Father. I just had to come up because I was spotting all of these. Today while you were speaking, we had a deal that you will shoot the spotter.

Yes. Have we shot the spotter or no? Yeah, they take a guy. Your life is whose problem? That was the deal. Did I say I want checkered guys' reports? You can come back, share anything you want, of course. But the minute you take any of this, this is also like rats in the kitchen. 'I can spot this is happening today.' I'm still talking about the rats. 'I can spot that in my kitchen I'm imagining rats.' It's still the same thing. There's no kitchen. There's no kitchen, Father. There's no kitchen. So imagine rats or prescribe the kitchen itself is imaginable. So what to spot now? She only spend no time without spotting. Shoot the spotter. Okay? Thank you, Father. The shooter also. Okay, thank you. Okay, now. Okay, welcome back to Open. Now let's go to Nise. Okay, Nise, about my dear Father, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, try.

Today I'm still talking about the rats. I can spot that in my kitchen and imagining rats, it's still the same thing. There's no kitchen. There's no kitchen, Father. There's no kitchen. So imagine rats or perceive the kitchen, the kitchen itself is imaginable. So what to spot now? She only spent no time without spotting. Should this bottle? Okay, thank you, Father. The shooter also? Okay, thank you. Okay, now, okay, welcome back to open now. Let's go to Nees. Okay, okay, me just about my dear Father, a little bit. Yeah, yeah, try again. Very little, but we can make do. Okay, yeah, your volume is also quite low. Now you're on mute again. Let's try once, otherwise we can go to the zoom settings and see. Can you hear me now? Throughout satsang you could hear or now you couldn't do it because come back. We'll come to bhakti in a moment. We'll just talk to me first.

Namaste. I am live. Bow down to you. This is the first time I'm talking to a live master, so it's a special moment for me. So thank you fully. Blessings. To use any words, it feels like I'm moving away from myself. Yes, and and that is the secondness of my reality. And uh, I'm not sure like I, the only reason maybe I am coming to you is for me the validation which again I know, uh, humbly like you will again point it back to me to go within myself. And since since you're a master, I I I I would bow down to you. Maybe you will understand my situation and guide me from here.

Yes, let's explore a bit together. Let's walk a little bit and see what happens. So when you say you speak, you move away from yourself, are you saying that you find that the words cannot truly accurately represent any reality about you? Is that what you're conveying in that? Right, it's not that in the process of speaking something moves away from the self, isn't it? Because speaking can happen naturally as well. Yes, right. Very, very. Tell me about your birth.

My birth? What exactly that you are asking, like from where I am born? Whatever comes to your heart in response. Nothing comes to my heart. It's like I don't know. It's like for a long maybe there was a concept of birth, like I'm a body, this is my birthday or something like that. But if I go down deep inside my heart, there is nothing like that.

Tell me about what you want.

Nothing. What about you is beyond all perception? There is no answer to it because whatever perceived or perceiving or I don't know what word to use, that seems like it is not me. And what I am, it cannot be perceived. Uh, it is a very, very equity or complex thing which I don't know like whom I can talk to other than you about this. And and and this very presence, what like I have been listening and we were talking about and discussing because because when when I'm unconscious or maybe maybe I don't know how to use that term because again it becomes a concept, um, even though that is not my nature. Because even even even even this perception of I am this, if I if I may call it, it again seems like a concept which we just use for conversation here.

And what is the nature of this conclusion?

Short of it. And as soon as we speak, my mind comes into picture and and and and then it feels like maybe it's it's just falling off the body for me.

Is there potential to speak without the mind?

There is no potential. Even with the mind, there is no potential. Like it is just something which I don't know we might call it a habit which I we have picked up or I have picked up since birth. But I I spend a lot of time in my silence and I I this is happening to me like I have lost interest in everything because everything just feels like a concept to me now. If I explain it to others, it they seem like I'm dispassionate or disinterested, but I see it from the point of view of the suitality of it. Even even there is no conversation between two people. I'm living my own world and those people live in their world and we are trying to make out something out of it.

The 'I' that you refer to, it's for communication mostly. I get that sense already. So it's good. But is there a recognition of that 'I' which is not based on perception?

If I may say, it is a feeling. Just just for the conversation, it it feels like there is a feeling that there is this awareness which is uh which is if I'm anxious, it is more in the heart. If I'm not anxious, at peace, it is always there everywhere.

Is that noticed from a specific location or is it still from everywhere?

So it it is I'm not I cannot absolutely pinpoint it, but it's mostly from from the right side of my chest. From my right side, yes.

And that which is aware of this right side, is localized there?

No, it feels like it is everywhere but body is holding at that particular point.

Yes. And when you say feeling, I know it's again communication, but the feeling is as opposed to the feeling of anger or lust or hunger?

No, sorry, no. So like hunger etc., maybe understand like there are body phenomenons which are happening. Like anxiety is slightly different from it. It is it is like when when we are absolutely at peace and and nothing is there, there is no perception is there, there still you know there is a center which which is always there.

And this the perception of the computer or phone in front of you, who's aware of that perception?

Is the same point. If I even if I close my eyes somewhere, it's I don't know like how to describe it and I'm sorry I don't know.

It's very good. Amazing. Very well. Is that one, where is that who is aware of all these perceptions?

If if I'm absolutely silent, it is everywhere because perception itself is something which happens from body. I I don't think in in my silence I perceive anything.

In the presence or absence of silence or not, what is what changes about that?

So it feels like there is a stillness. Everything arise from it and everything is awesome. But stillness is ever present.

Who's aware even of this stillness? You think stillness is self-aware? You think or you recognize or you see? What what mode of knowledge is that?

There is no mode of knowledge in that. It is itself aware. I think knowledge itself is the essence of it.

Is this the inference conceptual or in fact while we are talking it seems like a influence but when you are still trying the stillness is self-evident. Try now. Try to make it everything. You can take as much time as you want because this is what I'm here for. So don't be under any pressure to answer or make it a conversation. Notice if that awareness which is aware of all perception including the presence of your being, whether that is a conceptual knowledge, whether that is perceived in some way even as a dark empty space which is also perception, or is it beyond these?

I think it is beyond it. It it contains everything but it is beyond.

Does this knowledge have to travel from that intuitive obviousness, the apparency which is so simple, does it have to travel to like a process of mental confirmation and then flow to the mouth or can it be straight heart to mouth?

It is always there. It doesn't need to reach out to the mind. Maybe mind doesn't need maybe it doesn't need mind's confirmation. Mind I don't know like mind is I feel my whatever mind or my bodies won't be present when I'm opening up my eyes. Other than that, if if I'm still I'm I'm stillness. If I if the body is this, then I feel like maybe I'm little away from it.

If there is the presence of all the visual stimulus because the eyes are open, what changes about you?

Nothing. But but but they it it feels like body awareness is is uh there is this denseness of body awareness which which is is more there than that sublimness of feeling or maybe subtleness of of presence which is there.

Have any effect on you?

Yeah because because that said stillness is is like bliss and and this this feels like uh uh this feels like really gross with with with everything moving around etc. And bliss is uh valuable to you. I I would say it feels like suddenly everything has been stripped away from me and then then nothing there is there is no need in me. So even to term it as bliss I I don't know because I am there then it doesn't feel blissful. Only when I'm in I'm uh conscious of my body then I feel like I need to be somewhere else.

This is where maybe I reached whatever I could reach on my own today. So let that one remain in the 'I don't know'. You're doing really well. I'm very happy to meet you today. It's become very comfortable with 'I don't know' now. Make that your friend.

This huge opportunity. Yes, I I you answer all my prayers in this and I had to write down my question because I forget it. Um, so I tend to see um the things up here and I push them away and so they still comes because when these things come up and I don't know if they are true or not, the tendency is to push them push them away because in the moment there's no um character clarification. Yeah, so it's like very uh uncomfortable to really discern and know and it feels very mental. So it's like no this is not oh no this is not this doesn't smell good. So it's like uh in that moment it's like yeah that that's and maybe in the in the moving of life when things have to happen it doesn't feel natural sometimes like there's an effort to do. And I know it's very common but I just wanted to give it to you Father.

So let me see if I got the sense of what you're saying. You're saying that sometimes things come up, they may be in the form of thoughts, ideas, and then there is a negation of them. No, no, this is not true, which is another another thought, you see. So it's like thoughts colliding with thought. Is that how it is? Is that how? Yeah. And this uh like discerning, you know, and then I see that the the reactions to go with the thought because there is now clarity. So it's very like suffering so much, it's not nice. Good. So let's see if we can look at this together. Suppose that you did not have to negate it with unknown. You just allow it to come and to go naturally. What would happen? I don't know. Um, this is worth trying. This is worth trying because in the openness is it you can just come and it can go like clouds in the sky. They don't leave a mark, you see, unless you believe, unless you identify. So you don't have to have a conclusion and then believe its opposite to become more truthful. So if you say the world is like this, they say no it's not, you see, when you end up buying the negative conclusion as if it is true. So be empty of both the opposites. Be empty of both the opposites. Neither affirmation nor negation, neither yes nor no. Then what will happen is that dual access or deeper intelligence which we call the heart, where everything that is of value is already known. It's where you know love, it's where you know your presence, it's where you know your reality is awareness. So you will learn how to live in the heart, rest in the heart. This is what I've been calling the way of the heart. So we switch out to the battle in the head which is either yes or no and we find in our heart there are the highest gifts are already found. So that is where God lives. It's that simple actually. And with the innocence that you have, it's very simple for you actually.

Yes, I can see the tendency of uh yes it's accepting we're not accepting it exactly exactly.

Now think of it, think of your mind as a playground where all these children are playing. You don't have to worry about what game they're playing, who's winning, which side you're on. They're just playing there. They feel they can feel free to play over there. You're in the playground of your heart. How to be in the playground of the heart? It's automatic if you're not in the playground of your head. It's automatically yes yes that's all. And you can live like this. I'm here to show you that you can live like this. It's crazy please. I love this uncomplicated spirituality. It's very good. It touches my heart. The name is very out. Thank you. Okay, let's try up right now again. Can you hear me Father enough?

Yes yes how about you? Can you hear?

Yes yes yes thank you. I never expected I would get called so quickly so that's why I was just uh

Exactly, exactly. So if there is confusion, that is an invitation to look for knowledge beyond your head. So don't expect—and we spoke about this—so don't expect to have perfection in any spiritual understanding, you see? All that is just provisional to point to the deepest also inside.

Mm-hmm. So this is me doing it again, possibly, where it feels like I'm seeing these thoughts very clearly. Um, there's still part of the mind that's feeling it's the arbiter of whether to engage with these thoughts or not.

Yeah. Where you can conduct these inquiries in the guise of contemplation is not where you know that you exist. Um, sorry, sorry, what don't you know? Where you know that you exist conceptually? Where I know I exist, I don't know anything. I am proposing to you that you know everything, okay? Where you know yourself, your presence, God's light as I call it, nothing is unknown. You may not necessarily have the words for it yet, have a framework for it, you know? You may not be able to express it, but see in your heart where it is so clear that everything is known.

So we spoke a bit about this, and it is to reinforce the point that contemplation is worthy because it knocks you out of your head into your heart. But you see, becoming attached to the idea of resolving it in the head, then that part of it can be chopped away. Is it like a question like 'Who am I?' or 'Are you?' When can you stop being? What is love? What is truth? What is music? Can we find the answers? If there's an aspect of your being that enjoys music in a language which is alien to you, then you see that you don't need to always have the words to exclaim that knowledge to confirm that it is true knowledge. If you can find that where love is apparent to you, where non-separation is apparent to you, where your own being is apparent to you, where you are is apparent to you, you never need to read that. Please, it's not a placement. And I remember we said—did I quote this Einstein quote?—that I think ninety-nine times, but it's the one time I swim in the ocean of silence the answer comes.

Yeah. So I've now still got this notion that there are some thoughts that are of a practical nature that you need to engage with. So for example, you know, one that's come up the last few days, we had a guy coming to sort of the plumbing, I had to take the kids to the dentist. So where I was saying I was seeing these flood of thoughts, many of them I could sort of sense that there's absolutely no need for me to have to engage with that, and like you know, I said click on that email. There are the other ones, you know, that the guy's coming to do the plumbing and I've got to take the kids there, I've got to go and pick them up and do this. It feels like I have to engage with those thoughts. But I'm still working from the level of the mind here and thinking, I'm still, you know, daily is the kind of top layer that's got these things to do in the world. But if I could sort of let that go, then there would be something bubbling up from within me, the real me that knows the plumber's coming and knows I've got to take the kids to the dentist. But that's not on the layer of thought, that's just taking care of itself. And I think that's something that I don't think I've ever been able to touch on then. So I think after a few discussions, I'm still—it feels like I'm still many moons away from being there.

Yes, this is a tactic which the mind uses very well. It makes categories of knowledge. It says, 'This is practical, this is relative ornamentation, this is about absolute.' And then for day-to-day life, you do this practical knowledge. But the proposal inherent in that idea is that I am pointing to the self-knowledge where God is apparent, and therefore it is God's knowledge itself. So then the mind's proposal is that God, which is running this entire universe, that knowledge is not enough to run this life, see? And it proposes this fear that unless I refer to the practical mind to do these seemingly practical things, I will make a mess. I'll make a mess up with this life, which you actually cannot teach me. But more importantly, one moment of meeting God is completely worth a completely messed up life. It's an unequal exchange on the side of God. And this is what I mean by risk it all. Then the mind cannot use these fears to scare you back into the head. Are you not willing to risk a messed up life in return?

You don't know my wife. Angry wife, no, I can't believe that. No, no, no, she's very fiery. Have you been to the same village? Completely. It's, I don't... I think I'm quite... there's quite a bit of confusion here now then, because when I do the inquiry of 'Are you aware now?' from that place, there are still these thoughts that appear from that place. I don't quite know how to word it. Does when I do that inquiry—okay, let's slow down—which feels really beautiful, it does still seem that there are thoughts that appear whilst I'm apparently in that place that I have the ability to get engaged with or not. And that's kind of where I was up to. So maybe the analogy of the email is not very good. It feels a bit more like, say these glasses are a heads-up display and I can constantly see some sort of flow of thoughts that I can either click on and engage with. For example, 'Oh, this is an important one, this is about the plumber.' But the other ones, like I was saying, thoughts in the past of things that used to wind me up, I get the flavor, I really don't need to engage with that. Whereas I think before I was engaging with that. But now it feels like, yeah, I don't know, maybe maybe I'm not even in the right place then when I'm doing the 'Am I aware now?' inquiry.

Yeah. So firstly, as we're in the apparency of self-knowledge, all perceptions can come, including thoughts. It's completely fine. Maybe it's completely fine. Secondly, I still smell a lot of self-concern which we need to burn up somewhere. So one invitation is that if you call me Father, then let it all be my job. Because otherwise the conditioning about doing it right, sometimes really getting this is happening, is it all the 'me' is hiding? That's been sort of a theme in our conversation. So it's good to just shine your heart on this for a bit and you'll start to soften up. It will start to lighten up. Don't try to make a better version of you.

No, no, I don't... I'm not consciously... oh sorry, I don't feel like I'm consciously trying to do that.

It's the force of habit, it's just playing. It is like to try and become better or do things better, not make mistakes, you see? But it's the same—I don't know if you heard the rags in the kitchen analogy?

I did, I was in the car and I heard that on the way back.

But 'I am still confused' or 'Maybe not doing this right' or 'I am doing this very well'—all of this is about the rags. But actually, there's no such kitchen. Good and bad, hand everything over. What will happen? It'll become the worst spiritual aspect of all time? Because there's a fear, maybe this is for the worst one, not for the best.

I think it's... I don't... it feels like instantly I don't really know what I mean by handing everything over. I don't really... it doesn't feel like there's things I'm really burdened with, but at the same time I think I am. I'm sure I'm still treating this in the mind as a project or something to solve and to get.

Where are you referring to now as the source of tools? Probably the mind, I think. So that's this hand I do. That's all. Even if it is like you're lost without that, you're fully confused because you're not able to come up with a conceptual description of what your current state is, that is to hand over. True knowledge will not come as a result of any thinking. So if I said to you, tell me about what's happening with you, where can we go for that answer? What can tell us, what can give us a description of our current state which is true? Is it describable? Is it conceptualizable?

It's not really describable. I think it's kind of sensitive because, to use again, because we are the elephant in the 'Elephant and Six Blindfolded Men' story. We are the elephant in that story. So the mind will sometimes say, 'Oh, this is a pillar,' sometimes say, 'This is a pipe,' sometimes say, 'This is this,' and nothing to do with your reality. And anything that is believable and truthful is the elephant in that story.

Does that mean that it is hopeless to try and get true knowledge? It does not mean that. It only means that it is not capturable in the head. But where you know yourself, where awareness is apparent without even using attention, that is where all things are not known in the way of the mind, and not known for personal benefit.

What is it that has the ability to hand things over? Is that... that's Consciousness can?

Because clearly my mind is... so for you to hand over means to not understand even the answer to this question. Stay strongly with you and everything else will work itself out. Don't make sense. Talk to your wife, but don't make sense, at the risk of her anger. How are your kids? Your kids will love it. Don't make sense for a few days. That's homework to a teacher.

Yeah, you're thinking about it again. Stop it. Oh yeah, don't make sense. I promise I won't think about it. Thank you. Thank you so much.

It's been a marathon. I just saw the time today. Thank you. Because...