'When the Person Was Here' Means What? - 7th October 2016

So now forget about the path. Where are you right now?

I'm right here and I'm very much aware of it.

Very good. And there is a lot of energy.

It's just energy. I don't want to label it.

Yes, so energy is there. What is it doing to you in reality?

It's just happening. Just happening.

That which is aware that you are here, can that in any way be touched by this energy? And don't answer conceptually. Look and answer. Can you say yes? That which is aware even that 'I am here'—this awareness—can it be touched by any energy? And we don't have to go with the right answer mentally, but we have to check and see how this can be touched by anything.

I need time.

What will time do? How will time help? What is missing right now?

What is missing? Nothing. Nothing. What's happening is just this wave of energy. Yes, but loudly and quite heavy. Heavy, yes.

Yes, but are you inside the wave?

No, I'm not.

Is the wave hurting you?

No.

So let the wave be then. If you're not inside it and it's not hurting you, what is the trouble? Just the idea that it should not be there is the resistance, and it feeds it. Our resistive ideas to this energy just feed the energy further. But now you're saying that 'I am untouched by this energy.' The reality of who I am... and we are no longer trying to help that one that doesn't exist. So we are only talking about the reality of who you are now.

Now suddenly I flew away. Yeah, I flew away. My mind... which means what? The mind... what happened? Yes, suddenly I didn't hear what you're saying.

Distraction. I said that this wave of energy... you say that that which is aware of everything is untouched by this wave. Now, either you're believing yourself to be something which is touched by this wave, or you see that you are this witnessing itself in reality. Which one is it?

I must be the witnessing to be able to report about it. Yes, but is this your inference or is this your direct experience right now? I want to say it's my experience right now, but I can't... I can't tell you right now it's my experience.

Okay, why? What makes you very stressed? Don't worry about it. What is your experience? What is your direct experience? I'm here, the wave is there. Are you not aware of it?

Yes, I'm aware of it.

And that which is aware of it, how is the wave hurting that one?

Nothing at all.

Now, if this one is you—this awareness—then you remain unhurt by it, isn't it? Isn't it so? Either you are untouched or you must be something else and not this awareness. What do you find when you look?

I'm this awareness.

This awareness. And it's untouched?

Yes.

You see? Is this not your direct experience right now?

Yes, it's my direct experience. Yes, yes, yes.

So now you see that this is your direct experience. Now any wave can come and go. Can your direct experience change from this?

No.

Now how will you show me trouble then? It's impossible. If you wanted to create trouble now for yourself, what would you have to do? Believe your next thought. You would wait for some energy to come and you would wait for the interpretation of that energy and you'd say, 'Yes, this is true for me.' And in that belief, then the pretense of suffering starts. Without this, can you suffer?

I know this so, so very well.

But you see what is happening is that to know it just here doesn't help. So the more often we check like this, it is more helpful. Because what is happening is we believed the false for so long that when the truth faces... we see the truth, then the mind still has the potential to create some doubt about it. Maybe it only happens like this when you're in Satsang. Maybe it only works when Guru is there. You see, these ideas can come and these doubts can come. That is why it's good to check over and over that the sun actually comes from the East and the belief that it rises from the West was false. Suppose that for 20 years someone has told you that this is Maharaj, Nisargadatta Maharaj. Now, for 20 years you heard that. Then I come and say—somebody with credibility comes and says—'No, no, in this form, this is Satguru Mooji, this is not Maharaj.' And because I have credibility with you, there is some acceptance of that. But after I go away, the mind can still throw some doubt because I've believed for so long and so many people told me this is Maharaj. So then the doubt can come and the belief can go back. In the same way, because we have believed for so long that I am a person, that moments of checking and the glimpse of the truth... yes. So then what happens is the mind tries to make a conclusion out of it. When you say 'I know this,' actually we're talking about a conclusion that we have made. So throw away all conclusions and everything that you know; that keeps the freshness of the checking alive.

You see, because it makes regret out of it. It makes you feel unworthy. 'Oh, I should know this by now, I should be done with this by now.' And that is getting stronger and stronger.

Exactly, because you're feeding it. It's almost like being some kind of conception.

Conceptions, yes, about it.

Yes, so throw it away. The mind thinks, 'Okay, I have the right thought about it,' so the right thought is increasing. Exactly. So we have to throw away all our conceptual knowing, even our most favorite concepts, and that keeps us alive in the checking right now. What is my true position now? We don't have to make notes about it. I never prepare for Satsang. Just whatever is fresh be spoken. What needs to be checked can be checked instantly. That is the power of the truth. A lie needs a lot of crutches of thoughts and beliefs. The truth is always available fresh for us, isn't it? And this will not change whether you're sitting on the hot seat, whether you're outside, whether in your country—this does not change. But instead of quickly going with a thought about how it should be and what we should know by now, we should just keep that freshness and say, 'Yeah, let's check. Where am I truly in this? Who is suffering?' You can keep it alive like this and fresh like this, then it will not feed our spiritual ego in a good or bad way. We don't want to make the ego bigger or smaller. The victim spiritual ego is also a terrible one. 'I'm so unworthy, I'm so guilty, I don't do the practice'—all this is also spiritual ego actually, but it's the victim form of the spiritual ego. Indeed, you will not have an instant where the truth leaves you, or that which you have seen now—that you as awareness remain untouched by all appearances. This will never change. It is always the case. Therefore, if there is still some suffering, it must be because of something false which is being believed, including the false belief that 'I should be through this by now, I should know this by now.' Isn't it?

Thank you. Thank you. I needed this.

Welcome. Very good.