What Is the Essence, The Very Root of Spirituality? - 27th January 2025

And it seems like I can exchange God, the holy temple, the heart temple, and being present to presence, and I can exchange that for being present to the world. And in being present to the world, I can derive something out of it which can give me a lasting contentment, a lasting peace, you see. So Maya is nothing but a set of magnets constantly pulling us in, saying, 'Leave, leave Him. You leave Him, come with me.' So Maya in that way is called the mistress who pulls us away from our beloved, who is calling us in, saying, 'Come, come, you come, you come with me. Leave Him, leave. He's not going anywhere.' And the magnet can be in the form of some sort of fulfillment, some sort of even entertainment, you see, enjoyment. 'That's just enjoy, leave Him, leave,' whereas the only joy is to be with the source of joy, which is Him. The source of all that is good is Him, Her, whichever way you want to relate to God.

So how much time to be present to Maya and how much time to be present to God? Because the battle is really just about time. I've repeated this a few times, but it's important to remember this. We may say tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, but soon we will run out of time. Maya says, 'Indulge today, pray tomorrow. Indulge today, God is not going anywhere,' you see. And sometimes it doesn't even say indulge. Like this body issue that is being dealt with, it says, 'No, no, you sort this out today, you can start praying tomorrow. You can get back to prayer tomorrow.' It also says—one of the things it wants to attack for teachers is that it wants satsang to stop. It'll keep saying, 'No, you just take a long break, fix your body first. Satsang is not going anywhere, do that.'

But do I really know? I was having a conversation with someone today and she was giving me some similar advice, so it came to me to say that. But I have an opportunity to turn so many brothers and sisters to God, and who really knows if that opportunity will be there in the future? So I'm not going to put my body first. That does not mean I won't take care of it, but God in His grace has given enough time to be in His presence while taking care of the body. We don't have to do anything to the exclusion of His presence, whereas Maya would like it to be that way, that you exclude God from your life, focus on these things, make your money. Like a child was saying that they make, 'Let me make my money first, let me sort my relationship issues first, let me have my children first, let me bring them up first.' All of these postponing things will be there, but God has never said that if you be with Me, then your life will not unfold in the most pristine, most beautiful way, is it?

So this is how the magnetism, the gravitation of Maya pulls us in. And who is the number one ally of Maya here? The mind, which is the sutradhar, the narrator of the story. Without the narrator, the story makes no sense. To the mind, to our intellect, it is helpless. 'What is happening here?' If it did not have any narratives, 'What is happening here?' So we've lost the narrative, but we are not lost in the narrative. We are lost although it seems to place us, you see. A narrative places us. It says, 'This is where you are, this is where your life is, this is where you must go, so this is what should happen.' So it seems to situate us in a position, and that position can seem like, 'Now I can maneuver from this.' But actually, in that situation, we are situating ourselves falsely, getting trapped in the Maya's play.

And when we leave all the narrative, are you lost? You may say that there is no lost to no find, is it? But what does loss look like? Loss looks fearful, helpless, looking everywhere, scared, you see, like that. But when you empty, are you lost? No, you're actually very stabilized because God is with us. So when we return to the innocence, the infancy of a little child, then the mother picks us up in her arms. When we get stuck in 'me, me, me,' then the mother also allows us to play. She knows, 'Where will they go? Where will these children go? Come back to me.' And she does not want our love forcibly. Love is not love if it is forced.

So what are the tools of spirituality? All the sadhanas, all the pointers that the sages have given us are the tools of spirituality. What is their job? To empty us of attachment to the world and to our narrative, and to give us what we need to be able to remain empty of ourselves and remain full of God's presence. And that remaining full of God's presence is always a question of faith. Even when I was struggling to meet my presence, I didn't know what this presence is. For many years I went through this struggle, but in faith I continued to do the inquiry, I continued to do my sadhana, to read my books, to do my reading. All of that for many years continued. Therefore, when the revelation happened, who must have done the revelation? You see, that's an important point. Who must have done the revelation? Only He can do it. His grace can do it.

And if I was not with Him in that way, even though I could not, I did not feel like I could meet His presence or tell what His presence was, only He revealed Himself to me, isn't it? So it is why I'm saying this as encouragement to all of you who feel that, 'But I don't feel His presence yet.' But even if you don't feel it yet, your faith to continue on your spiritual path, to be empty for Him, to be innocent for Him like Ma Shabri, then leads to Him making the revelation of Himself, is it? But if just in faith, without feeling the presence, if He was not actually there, then who would make the revelation? He has to have already been there to make the revelation, isn't it? Getting this point? It's very important.

And even when the presence is felt, does the mind say, 'Ah, this is God present'? Very rarely. It'll find ways to doubt. Yes. So let's look at why I'm saying it's a question of faith to be in God's presence. It's a question of faith to be empty to ourselves even when it feels like His presence is not palpable, it does not seem tangible, you see. So I'm saying that in this life, how it appeared to be is that for many years I looked for this I-amness, I looked for this presence, I looked for this Atma, I couldn't find it, you see. And yet I continued with my spiritual practice and it was revealed. So who revealed it? God only can do it, only His grace can do it.

Now, if I hadn't been praying to God and those prayers were not being heard, if I wasn't inquiring and His grace was not operating, then He was not there to make the revelation, you see. So the fact is that even when He seems to be behind a wall, a veil, hidden, not apparent, not palpable to us, He is there. We must always have this faith. And when it is up to Him to open these curtains, this veil, you see. But if you have this atal, unshakable faith that, 'I will not bother about anything else, I will not bother about anybody else's reports, nothing. I know my teacher has told me God is in your heart. I have to just empty myself of myself and be with Him,' as difficult as that may be, He knows my attempts. He knows every time I turn towards Him away from the world, you see. And because if He was not there, if He was not meeting you, then He could not reveal Himself to you, because the process of revelation has to be from Him already being there in the heart, opening the curtain, saying, 'Is it? Huh?'

If He was not meeting you—in the sense that many times it can seem like an abyss, many times it can just feel like, 'Is anyone really hearing me? I pray and pray, I inquire and inquire, I'm not finding out who I am. Is there any point to any of this process?' Many times our journey seems so helpless, you see. So to have that faith, to learn especially from the one that you call your teacher, is very important. So if you can really take this to heart and trust me on this fully, that God is here, He has a holy chamber in your deepest place, but nothing is ever hidden from Him. And your effort to turn towards Him, your effort to love Him, He is aware of every single breath you take, and your effort is never missed. So with that courage, with that patience, with...

Many times our journey seems so helpless, you see. So to have that faith, to learn especially from the one that you call your teacher, is very important. So if you can really take this to heart and trust me on this fully: that God is here. He has a holy chamber in your deepest place, but nothing is ever hidden from him. And your effort to turn towards him, your effort to love him—he is aware of every single breath you take, and your effort is never missed. So with that courage, with that patience, with that faith, you have to be in this. Because it is not that he makes a new home there; he doesn't make a new home in your heart. His home has always been there. The home is revealed to us. It's like if the lights were empty and a plane flew past and the lights were off, they may not see that there is a home here. But when to put on the light, he knows best. We cannot second-guess his judgment, you see.

Our despair, our despondency comes from a place of still somewhere feeling that I know when that revelation should have happened. But we don't know. And maybe we can say, 'Have I waited like Shabri?' And if I waited like Shabri for so many years, then after that maybe we can complain. So do you feel like the Lord of a gazillion universes has a home in your heart? Literally—not your physical heart, but your spiritual center. Does it just become a narrative I hold on to? No. Okay, this one you can hold on to, then other narratives go. Still there. So if the path of the gani is to be empty of every narrative, which leads you to the same insight, the path of the bhakta is to see God in everything, to make every narrative about God, to make him the central character of your narrative. Is it so? Pick one and just stay empty of all narratives, okay? But if you're just switching between these two, it's okay. Even that is okay. If your only two positions are completely empty or 'God, God, God,' no problem. God and me? Yeah, God and me is okay. Not me and God. Who's the main character in your story?

You know, I used to say this for years constantly in every satsang: Is it me for God or God for me? The life of a bhakta is me for God. Me for God. Either no story, or God is the main one.

These days it's like I want God's love so that I don't look for it in the world. Okay, what happens after that? So when you say, 'I want God's love so I don't go grasping for it,' then what is the... I feel it at times and it's good to stay. I'm getting... no complaints. It's very good. But when I don't do this... today I didn't do anything, many things happened, and now I feel I'm not getting it. And so in the world also you don't get it, inside also you don't get it.

It's only 6:19. Yes, there's still time today. So whatever the path may be, even if the path is called a wordless path—you see, the many Zen paths are like the wordless path—they still call it the wordless path, you see. So at least one pointer is always needed because that is the nature of Maya. That one sword is at least needed to chop off the magnets. So even if that pointer is 'no'... like Zen has the path where the answer to every question is 'no,' isn't it? It's like Advaita and 'nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.' But that 'nothing' is needed for us to clean up. So if that pointer is that 'I want only God's love' and it takes you to the heart temple where you can sit quietly immersed in his love and presence, that's all you need, you see. Then there you don't have to keep repeating 'I want only God.' It is empty with him. Then if you find yourself getting caught up in the magnets again, then you use the pointer again: return.

That's why we are doing this contemplative reading where we're getting so much beauty, so much spiritual juice from the words of the sages and scriptures where they propel us into our hearts. So if you're doing reading, if you're doing Atma Sadhana, if you're doing any of these processes but we're doing it merely for intellectual understanding, then that's not it. It must lead us to that contemplation. It must lead us to that nididhyasana where we are sitting empty in our hearts.

Now when you sit, okay, what is the longest time any of you have sat in your sadhana? Longest? Say, full night? Okay, that's very good, very, very good. Now when we were sitting those six hours, eight hours, then how terrible was it? Not terrible at all. What kept us there for six hours, eight hours? Just beautiful. Just beautiful. Now it is very important to notice the difference in quality of Maya's magnets and the beauty of this love that we feel in the emptiness of ourselves and the being with God. So what is the difference? Have you noticed the texture of it? Maya's magnet: very persuasive, no? 'Come, come, come, now come. The opportunity is knocking, you have to grab it.' You know, this kind of very authoritative, persuasive, tempting in various ways. And then we are in that holy place; we don't want to leave, but it's not that somebody's forcing our hand, isn't it? You notice the difference in this? It's not that somebody's forcing your hand. You are just immersed in so much beauty, like she said, where you may not be able to explain what that beauty is.

Somebody may say, 'Okay, did you see lights?' No, I didn't see lights. 'Did you see some great bliss?' No, I didn't see any great bliss. 'Were you having some experiences? Were you doing time travel? Were you doing astral? Was something happening to your Kundalini?' All these things may happen, but they don't need to happen for us to find beauty there, is it? So it's a so beautiful inward meeting, a beautiful inner rendezvous with the Divine. It is very different from how Maya operates. Have you noticed this? It's important to just... as you learn to stay there, you will notice the difference. Why am I staying? Not for wanting something. After a while, even our spiritual desire doesn't matter at that place, isn't it? We may start the process by saying—like I was foolish like that—so I would say, 'Today I will not leave till I find out who I am. Today I will continue the inquiry till I find out who I am,' you see, like that. But after a while, when you come into that stillness, that intention is also gone. You just want to stay there, see? Because you feel love. You feel not a pushy love, but a sweet, freeing love. That is the difference between desire and love. Most of what the world calls love is just desire. But that unconditional just being, just happy in being, happy in being.

So the spiritual tools give you the sword to do the sword fighting, the cleanup job, to cut the attraction, to make yourself available to travel deep within yourself. But once you're there, you keep all the weaponry aside. So should I illustrate this? You may wake up one morning, or maybe something happened in your life, and you find that your head is a marketplace of ideas. Just this, that, do this, like that, like that, like that, you see. Then by grace you may remember that that is not your true life, and you may remember the tools that your teacher gave you. So you may say, 'Ah, I'm so caught up in Maya,' and you may start to inquire or start to pray. Then what happens? Suppose you are praying, then you say, 'Lord, God, have mercy on me. Bless my heart with the light of Atma Ram.' Then, 'Oh, but what about my work?' Oh, I got caught again. Then you notice that and then you try again. Then something, something midway through, then again. So that is like a spiritual warfare that happens between Maya and the pull from your heart, or that which you know is most auspicious for you, is most right for you.

As you learn, as you progress on this path, it becomes more and more natural, is it? So maybe just at that time one 'Ram' is needed. Same way, it could be something, something... 'This one, this one, this one said this. How could they say this? How could this happen? I have no money in the bank. I have no this thing. What's happening?' All that suddenly. But who? Who is it? Who am I? And again, it's me. Then again, but who? Who? And then what happens? Is it a constant gunfight like this, a constant knife fight? No, it isn't. After a while it settles, settles, and hopefully settles into a wordlessness, is it? Settles into a quietness there, just being and just being in love. And there is no award for how many times you had to use the tool. Some days Maya seems to really bring out all its forces; some days it seems easy. So you don't have to judge yourself on these things. The idea is just spend a moment there in the quiet place. Spend another moment there in the quiet place. Then another moment there.

The trickster then many times tries to whisper in your ear, 'What about that?' And then you may be at a point where you don't need to use the tool like that; just your noticing is enough. But if you don't notice it and you go with it, then it tells you another thing. It cannot just sell you and keep you on one idea, no. So it says something, then something, then something. It builds this whole house of cards. It cannot build its narrative in silence; it has to keep reinforcing it with thought. So when you find yourself getting caught again: 'Who is that? Who am I? Why?' In this way, then your inner flame, it will seem like your inner flame of sadhana is burning bright and things that the mind is trying are just getting burnt easily. You're sitting in the holy flame in your heart. Everything can come, but nothing really bothers you. Then you find that life is playing out, your eyes are open, words are being spoken, but you have not left that place. You left that place, and when you do, you return using whatever tool you're using.

Why are we doing this? For love. Love for home, for God. If you're doing it for anything else, even if initially it provides a momentum to your practice, that itself will become blocks that you'll have to cut through later. No, the prasad is not... unless you're saying that your intention was to do the sadhana for the prasad. That's not what you're saying. What you're saying is that we are given this prasad of joy, we are given this prasad of love, of bliss, of all the beautiful things that may unfold. But we have to receive the prasad, taste it, enjoy it, but not get attached, is it? And that's very difficult when you're starting out. I remember when I was starting out, when experiences would happen, then I would start my practice the next few days hoping only for that experience, you see. So the freshness of the liveness of being was blocked because I wanted only that particular experience, you see. So we have to be careful with the prasad because it is up to him what prasad to give every day. What is the return gift is up to him.

No, what I was saying was, Father, that if you see that when you're in that zombie way, it's so awful now that you want to run back to leave that and to come back to the heart temple. And then it's so wonderful to be there that I don't know, I can't say fully with integrity I'm doing it because I want to be with God, but I want to be in that peaceful way which I find being there, right? So that's what I'm asking. So maybe then even this horror story, if it comes, is actually... if I think of it as prasad because it's pushing me back to going into that, leaving it and seeing the contrast of how awful it is and how silly it was to live that way. Is that correct? Then I'm still praying, loving God, right?

What I was saying is that if you pray like that song that is like, 'You're helping so many, why aren't you helping me? God, please help me also.' Then if that is constantly the... it may provide some initial motivation for those who are beginners. But if that means a constant thing—'Change my life also'—if it all becomes about getting something in Maya, then who is really our God still? Then God is not our God; God is just a genie that we are using to get better things in Maya. So we still worship Maya more than God, you see. If you want things of the world out of him, for whom these worlds are nothing but peanuts... just imagine from God's perspective, being with him, he's the Lord.

Provide some initial motivation for those who are beginners. But if that means a constant thing that 'change my life also,' if it all becomes about getting something in Maya, then who is really our God still? And God is not our God; God is just a genie that we are using to get better things in Maya. So we still worship Maya more than God, you see. If you want things of the world out of that—out of Him for whom these worlds are nothing but peanuts—just imagine from God's perspective. Being with Him, He's the Lord of all time and space, and all these realms are nothing for Him, and you're just like, 'Can I have this tiny grain of salt?' That's it. After being with me, that's all you want? Can we have a desire worthy enough to ask God for? Our mind is not capable of that scale. Our mind cannot even imagine a hundred oranges together, you see. So what will we ask God for? Stay. So that's all, because we have to just keep quiet and say, 'You only know best.'

Okay, having said that, if you find that you are worrying about a particular topic for a lot of time, then it's better that you pray and ask God for it instead of worrying. So don't fall into that trap that 'I will never ask God for anything,' but you're spending half your life worrying about money or relationship or body or even freedom. Then better you offer that to God and say, 'You know, I know you're so, and my want will be irrelevant to you, but it keeps me from being with you unconditionally. God, can you bless me with this?' That has more integrity than really wanting it, wanting it, wanting it. But when it comes to spirituality, we have this pride that 'I can't ask God for anything.' If you don't want to ask God, then don't worry about it. Because in your worry, who are you asking? You're asking this guy; you're asking to solve it for yourself. You're asking the non-existent ego, the 'me,' for resolution. So worry is a reverse prayer because you're putting your faith in the false one.

So if most of what I've said is clear, then satsang becomes just the environment in which you get a taste of this directly, intuitively. Or the interactions are mostly about: this is the trouble that you're having in your sadhana, this is the struggle that you're facing in being with God, and how can help be provided to you? How can you be supported in that process? Doing well? Yes. Not doing that, but since we last met, you only went to the loo and came back, so it couldn't have changed. He doesn't have sugar in it, like it.

Throughout the day, I keep sinning multiple times, right? And every time God forgives it, and then it feels that one day it's going to be 'no entry' there. So is there a sin which God will never forgive? For, I mean, why I'm asking this is: when will I stop it? Like, even I mean, I'm not paying any price for being a sinner, Father. So why, when will that come?

Yeah. Do we not pay the price immediately? So let's look at the sin. It sounds like a very dangerous word. So let's break it up for everyone a little bit. Let's call sin in a very simple way which is more palatable to everyone: when we don't make the choice to love God. When we don't make the choice to love. Because if it's true love, then it is from God and for God anyway. Love is not love without God being involved, as Kabir Ji said. So let's say separation, absence of love, acting in a way which is opposed to loving God—let's call that sin. So in that time in which we are not loving God or acting on my own terms, not waiting for God's will, you see, how is our state? That itself is a punishment. Exactly.

So when the branch is disconnected, when the leaf is disconnected from the branch, it may feel like it's doing really well, it's flying. But all its support has been cut off, and after a while it realizes actually that it is not flying; it is just being taken by the wind to a place which is not beautiful, to a place which is not holy. But every moment of disconnection is in itself enough. Lack of love in that moment itself is lack of love. In the sense, we don't even want or need to call it punishment; lack of love itself. So when Buddha said, for example, that you're not punished for your anger but by it. So am I saying then that the consequences are in that itself? That I cannot say. I do not know. That is up for God's will. I do know that His heart is always merciful, but even a merciful parent needs to sometimes bring something to a child's attention so they wake up, you see.

So is the—am I saying that there is nothing else that will be shown to us? I cannot say, because only His will can decide that, you see. But what is our only refuge? Our only refuge is to return, you see. But this much I can tell you, because you look a bit worried, is that He is more merciful than any of us can ever be, into a million times more than we can even imagine. And even that which may seem like a worst-case scenario for us, it only comes out of His love for us to mend us, for us to pick love rather than pick separation. But this noticing, this being repentant about picking separation, itself is good medicine for ourselves.

So one point I want to make before you start is that many times, especially for those on the Gana path, they feel that it's nothing to do with virtues or how we live, you see. It's got nothing to do with that; all I have to do is sit and do my inquiry, and I can be angry, I can cause havoc in the world, I can be untruthful, I can be unkind, not compassionate, not loving, you see. I can differentiate, I can do everything, but I just have to—because this is like a mechanical process—I just ask myself, 'Who am I? Who am I?' and God has to reveal Himself to me because I have now come to the highest path. You know, highest path—everyone says this is the highest path. But I see that that is very rampant in the Gana path especially, you see. But we must not be under that delusion.

Of course, the inquiry itself will lead us to emptiness, and all the virtues that need to grow in us grow when we are in that emptiness. But it is also good to decide for yourselves that I will banish anger from my life, I will banish selfishness from my life, I will banish lies from my life. We may fail with those, but you have to try wholeheartedly. So even in the Gana path, in fact, Adi Shankaracharya would have said that you don't get entry into the Gana path unless you can fulfill these basic qualifications. It's only in today's YouTube world where we can access everything and read any book. But it doesn't mean that we don't have to work on ourselves in that way. Of course, the best way to work on ourselves is to be with Him, but under the guise of non-doership, under the guise of non-duality, we cannot make excuses for living in Maya, living in darkness.

Okay. So far, I have been practicing being empty, like Guru Ji's exercise in the morning, like we remain a witness. So I am following that ten, fifteen minutes early morning. So my question is, when I have to remain in myself and not get attached to the thoughts, do I do it with intention? Because holding on to myself, like just imagining, 'Okay, now I will not indulge with thoughts come what may,' with this kind of active involvement—it has to be there, because if I don't use the active will to remain unassociated, then the thoughts are in reflex mode. Thank you. Good question.

So the human condition for most of us right now is such that we need to have some what you're calling the active part, what I've been calling the cooking, you see. Even if you're doing the following the instructions of a sage, you're following a guided meditation, or you're listening to a way to remain empty, that part of it is active, no? You're actively following, you're taking the instruction. So what cooking you need to do so that you can come to the eating? You have the full recipe booklet now in today's world available to you, so you have to pick. So after you finish the remaining empty process in the morning, then what happens?

Then it depends. Like how I started, not the same results every day, but mostly a sense of lightness comes. Heaviness is occasional. Daily basis, I mostly struggle. And because on working days—weekends it's fine, weekends I have a lot of time so I can stabilize and there's no rush to go or something. So when I have time, so I devote it and it works well.

So starting your day like that is beautiful. But because it doesn't seem to propel your entire day—and it can't—any fifteen-minute process will not take care of the entire day for us, is it? So it's a very good start, excellent start, but have something which keeps your spiritual anchor throughout the day. So whether it is inquiry, whether it is japa, whether it is whatever resonates with you to remain empty, to remind yourself to remain empty. I don't know if work gives you the time, but to listen to a satsang, anything that keeps you in that nirant state. You can't—for where we want to be in our life, which is to spend our life with Him, we have to give more of ourselves throughout the day to be able to do that. So experiment with a few things throughout the day. You can do the inquiry; you've done the inquiry before this process. You've done the inquiry, so why don't you remain in the inquiry?

This is the question for me also, actually. Actually, I had my last conversation with Guru Ji some seven years ago and he told me, 'You find out what is in your way, what is your difficulty, why you can't do it.' But I'm still unable and I find it hard to express. Maybe because of more personal loyalty to the world, to the Maya, or to the attachments, or to being in some way. So I mean, I think that this spirituality should come as a crisis in life, like it should shake us. For me, I am trying to balance things and so somehow this thing is not prioritized, and Maya has to come into momentum. No, it's a momentum thing; once a momentum builds up, then it's very difficult to come back.

Okay. So what did he say? It doesn't mean that events will not come in our life, afflictions will not come in our life, but we remain so much in love and gratitude to God that the events which were so much suffering in the past, then we can just remain content, we can remain happy even through those. Now what you are saying is like Kunti's prayer in a way, you know Kunti's prayer? Kunti Ma made this prayer saying that, 'I only pray to you, I only spend time with you when I am suffering, so what I want you to give me is more suffering so I will pray to you more.' If that's what gets me to pray to you more.

I'm saying that because I'm telling you: start devoting most of your day, if not all of your day, to God. In fact, have the intention to devote all of your day to God, then you'll be able to devote some part of it. You're getting? Because if you say, 'I'm going to only devote some part of it,' then even that part doesn't happen. If you say, 'I'm going to devote all of it to God,' because there is Maya, we are able to devote some part of it to God. So take it as an exploration, as a pleading, as a command, as whatever you like from me, but do it so that you don't have to be at a place of suffering to make that switch. And it may seem like, 'Oh, when suffering comes I'll just switch,' but in suffering it is not that easy to switch. Like if you look at people around you, if you look at a lot of family members especially in India, they are all faithful to God in a very limited way, you see. They feel that when suffering comes or when I'm really old, then I'll just switch to God and make myself spiritual. But when these bodily afflictions come, when money problems come, when things happen, then the mind is so caught up in those things, it's very difficult to make that switch. They're not able to, is it? And then at best, till the end of their life, they are able to get to only a very lip-service type spirituality. And may God bless them even for that much. But we must, when things are good, we must make that switch because—

When suffering comes or when I'm really old, then I'll just switch to God and make myself spiritual. But when these bodily afflictions come, when money problems come, when things happen, then the mind is so caught up in those things, it's very difficult to make that switch. They're not able to, you see? And then at best, till the end of their life, they are able to get to only a very lip-service type spirituality, and may God bless them even for that much. But we must, when things are good, we must make that switch because when things are bad, we will want to, but it won't be that easy. There is nothing, there's nothing so important in this world. Sometimes when my children ask this question, 'What is it so much? What will happen that we give our whole life to Maya? What will Maya give us so much in return?' So then have this intention very strongly that, 'My day is for you, Bhagavan. I belong to you.' You have this intention more and more, and then you will fail, you will fail, you will fail, but little bit you'll get better, better, better.

Father, I see this battle more in this being with God, in more of inner, I would say. Means you are not saying that work should not continue, something should not happen; mean a flow of life has to happen. There's no point in being rude or being, 'Okay, now stop' or something in that sense. So what you're pointing is something inner, a thing to do?

Correct, correct. And even what is difficult for us is to have the courage to say that when I focus inwardly, I will follow His will from there, and whatever His will may be, I will follow. That is what it seems like—that is too risky, Father. Let me admit it, let me admit it, it is too, too risky. I feel too risky, no? But the more time you spend with Him, the more He will inject you with courage. Okay? See, when Ram had that conversation with Sita Ji, his trajectory could have gone anywhere. He could have become a sadhu, he could have changed to any—he could have left spirituality. But in his life, all this had to play out. He had to become a king, be sent to vanvas, he had to come back, rule, show Ram Rajya in Ayodhya; all that had to happen. So if he was scheming for himself in his life, 'This I won't do, this I will do,' then that would not suit his life as an incarnation of God. So he's shown us the way. Even to admit that it is too risky, 'I'm too scared,' is a good first step, a good first step. So keep working on it. You keep looking at it, you see? That is where—and I'm not saying you're in an armchair spirituality or a lip-service spirituality—but as you keep looking at your boundaries of your surrender, then our spirituality deepens more and more.

So that which seemed like a self-serving spirituality becomes a self-sacrificing spirituality. That itself is the first step to move to an authentic spirituality. Otherwise, in today's world, what has spirituality become? It's become a self-help program. 'Do this, do this, you'll feel better, your stress will go away.' There's no—like in spiritual posters, there's no talk about God. In many spiritual talks, there is no talk about God, you see? So spirituality is spiritless in today's world because it is self-serving. But spirituality, if you look at it traditionally in any culture, in any religion, in any tradition, has been more about surrendering ourselves, sacrificing ourselves, rather than getting things. Can you imagine sitting over there saying, 'If I get so...'? Only in today's world it's become like this. 'Okay, will you make me stress-free? Will you give me all the material comfort?' Shabri didn't say, 'Will you heal my back pain? Will you do this stuff?' So we are in a very strange sort of world where spirituality has been convoluted into a strange sort of psychology, self-help type thing. So the first question we must ask is not, 'What are you giving me, God?' It's like, 'Have I surrendered myself to you?' Slowly, slowly, just look at it and it will expand.

There's one more, one more thing, sorry. Unfortunately, what's happened in the last 70, 80 years in the country is that Enlightenment has been offered as a carrot, you see? It's been dangled in front of us as a carrot. Then we feel like for human achievement, that is the highest we can achieve. So we try to chase that carrot in a very self-serving sort of way. But the true fact of Enlightenment is a complete surrender, is a complete handing over to the Self, handing over to the true Self, handing over to God. All that is self-serving, that part is hidden from most parts of spirituality, so-called spirituality today. So if we demand so much of God, we have to ask ourselves, 'What is it that I am risking?' Kabir Ji said this very beautiful thing. He said, 'No risk, no faith.' There's no faith if you're not—if there's nothing at risk for us, then really, where is the faith?

This is about surrendering thoughts, okay? Very, very basic thing. Suppose we are in meditation and some thought, some thought is coming. Or suppose we are doing something, a work, but a thought about some other thing is coming. Maya basically means thought which is not relevant to the present moment; this is how I see distraction, I would say. So generally, the thoughts invite the identity to the 'me' that we believe ourselves, which we don't see but we assume and respond from that position. It calls to that 'me'. So surrendering the thought means, can I say, 'Okay, thought, I leave it to God,' because I may worry about that thought later on, but for now can I say, 'Okay, I surrender to God,' or 'God will deal with this'? Is this the way of surrendering the thoughts, or not worrying, and only when the situation is there and the thought relevant to that situation is coming, then only I deal with that thought?

That's a good way. It's a good way to say, 'I will surrender all of this to God.' Whatever the mind is bringing up to us, we say, 'I surrender to God.' But the thing is that—because I'm just making the connection between what I said earlier and this part—because it may seem like, 'I don't have to risk, I don't have to be self-sacrificing, I just have to... can I just surrender this thought to God?' You see? So what is the environment, what is the atmosphere in which that surrender can happen? You see, if you're not willing to put your head on the block for God, then you will not remember to surrender every thought to God. So both things go hand in hand. So keep surrendering as much as you're able to. That will give you the strength to put yourself more, your ego on the block more and more. And as you put yourself on the block more and more, the false self, then you will be able to surrender more and more as well. So yeah, but that process of surrender is good, that intention of surrender is very good. Thank you.

Okay, let me hear the reports online and then my family has threatened to invade the Satsang hall if I don't leave by 7:30, 7:40. Let me hear, let me hear, Divya. Can we have the mic, the other mic? Thank you so much.

Yeah, I'm really grateful that I'm like realizing more and more how fortunate I am to have you as my master, you know? Because I feel like the words, like the guidance they are giving is like a very, very key aspect of spirituality and of true spirituality. And I've been seeing that even when I really intuitively in emptiness hear the words of Christ and even the saints, and it's like they all pointing to like returning to emptiness. It's like all the words are like pointing of like returning, of going back to emptiness somehow. It's like every true spiritual is pointing to that. Another reason also I come is to just check with you, like how you saying you like asking everyone to like say how, like the tools that they using to like stay with God. Because I don't really have like something is not fixed, but one thing that I do know is that it leads to emptiness, like to be empty. It's just like some days it feels like God is happy and it seems like this is more easy, the palpability of the presence of God of the Holy Spirit is much strong. But some other days like God is—God is not really—maybe I've done something wrong or something, and then I have to really like really look. And the force of Maya seems to be strong and the 'spiritual me' seems to be very—because it's very easy to like know like 'worldly me', but the 'spiritual me' is so subtle to like see through it. And so that's why it's very sometimes very difficult to like see because he knows a lot of things and has ideas or spiritual ideas.

That is why I've been speaking of the texture so much, you see? The texture. The mind cannot replicate the stories; it can try and fancify, make big, but the atmosphere, the texture within, the non-pushy love, the freeing environment of the holy presence, the mind's positions, as high as they may sound, can never replicate. So as we learn to live in our hearts more and more, in His holy place more and more, we get used to the environment there. And as we get used to the environment there, which is impossible to actually describe, but you will notice even the slightest position that you make, even a spiritual position that you take, that environment becomes contaminated, you see? It seems to get a little bitter, it seems to get a little grainy, you see? It's not feeling that pure, it's not feeling that restful, it's not feeling that contentment, it's feeling a bit stiff, you see? It's feeling a bit... so more and more as we learn to live in this heart chamber, following the heart compass, you will start to notice that even the spiritual positions which seem so good to the mind, they actually don't allow us to be in that holiness, that holy environment in the heart. And then that becomes our true indicator, that becomes our true indicator, you see? So just immerse yourself more and more as you're doing, and you'll start to notice the change of environment. Even if the narrative seems very appealing, you will see that something is not right because your inner atmosphere is different, inner chamber feels a bit clogged.

Thank you. It's also when I'm in with you and in this field where somehow Consciousness is more, the sense of like the perfume of God is more like palpable, like the Holy Spirit is very, very palpable. More the sense of it, you know, is like I remember you spoke of like the sense that there like a quality, non-quality sense of the Holy Spirit. So it's more like the quality sense is—and it helps like to anchor. In the way of anchoring, when I'm not hearing Satsang, somehow that quality is not as—I don't know how to say—it's not the sense of it is as... and so it seems a bit more difficult to... but like that's why like I don't have particular tool. It's just when the noticing happens, and sometimes I feel to pray to God because sometimes it's like it's really just hard and I just like, 'God, I just like...' when all really happen, but when things are really, really hard, I just lie down like, 'Please help,' like that. Because that's the only thing I can do. Other times it feels like to pray and other times it feels to inquire too. There is something is always like turning towards like the source of the seeing in emptiness. But there is this also, I say that is somehow some sort of fear is present somehow, yes. Especially when I'm not alone, like when I'm walking, I'm aware that this body is somehow walking in like a vastness, but something just like—no, it's like a reflex of like the Consciousness like doing it. I don't really think I have any control of it rather than to just keep turning towards God and like how you say, like gazing at God. But I'm continuously like trying to turn towards the source, like something is trying to turn towards that and trying to like that whatever phenomenon is appearing, it's not true because it comes and goes, and to just stay with what's the source of this, what's the source of this. That what feels more true. And sometimes when the quality sense like filled that with the Holy Spirit, it...

I don't think I have any control of it rather than to just keep turning towards God and like how you say, like gazing at God. But I'm continuously like trying to turn towards the source. Like something is trying to turn towards that and trying to like that whatever like phenomenon is appearing, it's not true because it comes and goes, and to just stay with what's the source of this, what's the source of this. That what feels more true. And sometimes when the quality sense like, like fill that with the Holy Spirit, it's very strange because I'll be very foolish in like maybe like two minutes ago and then I feel this thing and I'm like, 'What did I do to get this blessing when I was really foolish? Is it really coming from God?' But I know it's coming from God and like even now I can feel it.

Yes, so a few things. Very beautiful report, very honest report. Something happens when we gather in satsang in this way that as we gather in our true intention, in our pure intention to find him, to love him, to be with him, something seems to get exponentially palpable, exponentially felt, which doesn't happen that easily when we are by ourselves. And that is a gift that God has given. And that is why here the intention has never been to advertise or to force anyone to come to satsang, you see, because I just want this organic way of those who really want to be with him to come so that we can all bow down to him collectively and he may grace us with a taste of his presence. And that taste seems to amplify when we gather together in his name, you see. He has made it that way that the taste is more palpable. So I'm happy to hear that that happens in satsang because that is the literal meaning of satsang: to come to the company of the truth, you see, is the satsang.

So that is the first part. The second part—and you can remind me if there was something I missed—the second part was a very subtle fear that happens when we are inquiring ourselves and approaching him, being with him. So this is actually a good sign because if you did not have that fear, then I'd be a bit suspicious, you see. Everybody has a fear of dissolution; everyone has a fear of death in some way. So when we approach these sacred places within ourselves, the mind is very scared that it'll die, it'll dissolve you. And the nature of Maya is also to produce this kind of fear in the body and make us run away. So the flight response sort of kicks in for all of us.

As we inquire, as we pray, as we remain empty in his presence, it is very natural for this fear to come. So just treat it as part of the process and don't dwell on it too much. Don't try to push it away; it'll dissolve in his love. The more your love is growing, the less this will become. But it may have spurts, so don't use that as a sort of judgment about yourselves. It may have spurts where it seems to come more sometimes and it seems to recede sometimes, but you allow the medicine to work on it. Don't worry about handling it yourselves. And there was a third point. What was the third point, if you can remind?

I don't know, I forgot. But I know that something I'm very grateful that somehow you see that in my heart is that the spirit of truth, it's like the perfume of truth, it cannot hide through concepts with it. And there's something that I feel the most important thing that I've somehow absorbed from you is that when something is true, like even with the most clever concept, it's not going to—it doesn't—the most right concept, but if I'm not standing in the truth, yeah, it's still false even if it's correct. And this has been a very big sword. And I feel like I know the grace of God and through your grace is going to really help prevent future traps because the spiritual concepts are very easy to cement them and plan and be rooted in them. And you showed me that the only true place is emptiness, which is the temple of God. And this temple itself is made up of the spirit of God.

And that's why I always try to turn to that whenever I see that the consciousness seems to be personalized and something tries—I don't know how it happens—but the intention to be depersonalized itself somehow sometimes it transports me back to the temple, but not all the time. And so I realized that the Holy Spirit in my heart seems to really love there are some songs that like devotional songs as well which when I just hear them, like I can tell that God is very happy in me and it's like a reminder. And some things very like subtle like points of reminding and very mysterious and sorts of things. But just know in my heart that to be empty and all true paths, this is something that I know definitely is leading you to the ocean of emptiness. It's like they all empty themselves there because only there that you somehow know if someone is true or not, you know. And I'm really grateful that you've made this in my heart.

Bless you, bless you so much. Very good. With devotional songs, with devotional music, it is like an explosion because we bring two pieces of magic together. Our human intellect, our human mind, is too limited to understand even music by itself—how music works, why music makes us feel the way it does. We don't understand. There are many scientific studies on it, but they don't really get the essence of what music is. And when we make it about loving God, about devotion to God, then it is completely something else. Sometimes I just feel like this is what heaven must sound like when some beautiful music, which is very raw, which is very true in its love for God—not as much where people are more interested in the performance rather than the loving God part, but even that sometimes can have that effect—but just someone singing or creating a piece of music dipped in the love for God is just tremendously powerful, tremendously powerful. So I hear you, I hear you on that.

I'm just like so super thankful. Let's go to Clarissa quickly.

Hello Ananta, thank you very much for you and for the satsang that I can come. There is a feeling come because now I don't feel this tightness which I have felt before. Now it's getting wider. It's that as I have sometimes very deep experiences and then the next time is like I don't have any connection to God anymore and everything is very tight. And yeah, and there is a lot of pride and arrogance, and that I prayed to become more humble and to be more at your feet and to hear your voice in my heart that I really can follow you.

I think I think so few things to address there. Firstly is some good news that for those who are the most proud and most arrogant will never see that they are so proud and so arrogant. So already you cannot be at the top level of pride and arrogance if you're able to report that about yourself and you're able to see that for yourselves. But constantly all of us have to keep spotting our pride, spotting our arrogance, keep looking at our foolishness. The prayer of the beggar servant is very, very important, very good for that. If anyone feels like they need to work on their pride—I need to work on my pride—so it's very good for me to read it as often as I can.

So it's very good that you're working, you're noticing this aspect. In fact, if you ever said that now you're not proud anymore or arrogant anymore, then I would have more questions for you or I would really want to dive deep and see if it is true. In terms of the sense of freedom, broadness, and then a sense of disconnection: as soon as you notice—when you don't notice you can't do anything anyway—but as soon as you notice, return to your sadhana, return to the tools that you're using. What is the tool, your main tool for returning to God and being with him?

When I'm at home I try to do the 'just be' exercise from Mooji Baba and I also often hear your breath meditation. And when I'm in work, when I'm alone I try to hear music, to hear from the satsang music. Or then there are a lot of people and it's not so easy to stay that really in my heart.

Yeah, and are you able to, after listening to the music, after listening to satsang, after following the point or listening to the ads, are you able to spend some time just quietly in his presence?

I started this. I try to sit every morning 15 minutes like Mooji said, or in the evening also. But I see that I'm very—it's very easy to go with the mind. And I tried to—when Mooji said that we should receive that, I really try to step back and to look, but it's really that I'm easily distracted. I pray for more strength.

Very, very good. So you're lucky, all of us are blessed that we have such a broad toolkit available to us. You see, most people at least in the past times would have access to just one pathway to God. So now we are so blessed that we have the full toolkit, so many options. But now it is upon us to see what resonates most with us. First, carry this intention that every moment of your day you will be with God. So have that intention fully. Then experiment with the tools that you have and see what keeps you there, what brings you even during your work day when you're involved with things. What helps you the most? Maybe there is nothing that keeps you 100%, but what helps you 10%, 20%? So slowly we grow in that.

So every moment of our life then can be inspired by God. His breath can be felt in every breath of our lives. And so the point of that 15 minutes is for it to become an unceasing prayer, for it to become an unceasing presence. So experiment with this some more and see. Carry the intention for a week and then maybe tell me next week what is your feedback on that, trying to be with God constantly. What worked, what didn't work? What are the things that immediately seem to pull you out? What are those tools which immediately bring you back, you see? So these things we can get into more detail, but first you must have that intention. Your intention should be to belong to God, you see? And that is very good for your pride also. If your intention is to just not be except to belong to God, then that will help a lot. Yeah, John of the Cross said that live as if you were never born, same as Master Mooji. So live as if you were never born, like you never existed. Just in that way we belong to God, we become detached from worldly attractions. Good, very good. You'll report back to me soon and we'll see.

Thank you very much.

Welcome, bless you. Let's go last, Radham Ji. What do we do about the Maya as an intention to take reminder? Say what is reminder? We said no, that what we said, 15 minutes or half an hour? That's Mooji. Okay, can you play?

Sri Guru Har Han Mahang K Sri M Pr Br L D Sh P S Go Ch M