What Is Naturally Here Before You Intend to Find the Self? - 17th November 2017

Yes. So, when the 'I' is said, Father, when the 'I' is said, there is a body reaction that comes up and says 'this is I.' It's there. So, in a sense, yes, the island sensation is there. It comes out because that is like a habit that's been there forever, you know? It's a habit.

But what is known? You see, I see as the front saying of re-entry. Yes, you see that the body sensations are there. The question is: is that all that is there?

No.

Okay, what else is there?

Father, there is this little... not see, I'll call it little, I don't mean it with offense, but when I say 'I', yeah, I'm already before the thing of do 'I', yes.

Right. So, we were talking about the body sensations, right? When you say 'I', then these body sensations, they seem to come up to try and represent the 'I' in a way, is it? But is that what you are, or is there something else?

So, the sensations cannot be who I am, Father. That seems... I don't know if you know how or intellectually know, but it can't be who I am. Yeah, I can't tell anymore. I am... I don't... I can't tell you, but nobody else besides the body feelings, emotion. I'm just calling it one basket, Father. So far, 'I' has landed on this big basket, you know? It can be body today, it can be money tomorrow, it can be relationship, it can be children, it can be any thoughts. So, 'I' lands on me in a sense, any thought I am identifying as me where the 'I' lands at that point, Father.

Very good. Now, is this something which can never go in that big basket?

Yes, I can't go. If it can't go, then can you have a problem from direct experience?

Mother, watch what happens. Okay, problem is, you know, problem, you figure it out.

So, I think basically I say, Father, this is an addiction to calling any solution, every object. This means his system is the mind to say, 'No, no, you can't be that.' That's it, Father. There is no other problem. There is absolutely no other problem other than the thing. But I have to say, Father, it takes a lot of inquiry, it takes a lot of surrender, it takes a lot of everything all the time. He does have been in the situation, whatever might have been the events, whatever expression of this devotion come through inquiry, devotion, surrender.

Inside the basket or outside the basket?

Inside the basket.

Yeah, this and this crying is a method of sensing. Yes, yes. Sensory perception, a set of sensations which the mind can take on and we can say that it is happening to me. But we found that the real 'I'—why do we call it the real 'I'? Because that is the 'I' which remains unchanging. Yes, unchanging 'I' is never in the basket of these sensations. It is aware of them, but awareness is never hurt by it. So, this is the switch over from calling something in the basket 'I'. That's why Guruji calls it the chameleon. The label is he, the representative. The mind of the limited 'I' has been selling the story that 'I am inside the basket and all this is happening to me.' Whatever now as you are checking now, you're seeing that 'I' remain untouched. These sensations, they are there, they come and go. Now, if a set of sensations are there and they can't really hurt you, would you call them troublesome? Because we cannot call them troublesome unless they can hurt me in some way. That's why we call it this play, Leela. The only voice that gets hurt, and I mean I'm looking at it closely, is the 'me', Father. It's just the voice of the middle. There is no other.

Yes. Another good news is that as you start this moment, there is no basket. There is nothing in the basket of conditioning. Imagine if this was some spiritual task that you have to dig into this basket of conditioning and pluck every condition out one by one. How much work that would be? But you're finding now that we empty all of this naturally. And as we're seeing this more and more, you know, and we're also seeing that the magnetism of these concepts, magnetism of these conditions, is also reducing. Existence, existence without. So, this entire spiritual journey, it is from coming from 'I am something' to just 'I am.' All about dropping this 'something' idea. It is not 'I'm the best person,' 'I'm an enlightened man,' and whatever not. No idea.

Now, notice the offers from your mind. The other day I called the mind a position machine. It is giving you an offer, a local position. Usually in Satsang, the position it wants to take is that 'but'—that outer position. 'Yes, Father, but I am not there yet.' But I am saying every day, but you are only that. See, when the mind comes to make this offer, 'I am not God yet,' 'I am not consciousness yet,' this is the habit. So, when Krishna spoke about the habit, this is what we are talking about. Now, if it is not a habit, we just needed to have one Satsang. The reason why we have every day Satsang, Monday to Friday, is because of this habit to believe this doubter anomaly which is saying, 'I am not there yet,' or 'I finally got it,' 'I'm getting it.' So, when we see all these reports, again, they are painting you as if you are a limited entity. You are not that. Not in this time, you are not in this space. All of these are just sensations that you are experiencing, that you are aware of. Nothing contains you. You contain all and yet remain untouched. Must you be sometimes? Because we repeat these words so often, you forget what the pointing is to. Must you be? You contain all and remain untouched. Ashtavakra said you are the shoreless ocean. He was not fooling around; he meant it. Beyond all boundaries.

But there are two pieces of good news. One is that in this moment you are empty of conditions till you pick up one leaf of the condition, then the seems to be the whole tree comes back. And the second is that as you are empty of any notion about yourself, the truth is apparent. Whether your mind admits it or not, the truth does not have to be found; it is apparent. You are aware of your existence. But the truth is not even these words. We can point to that in some of these words which seem very direct, but as you are experiencing yourselves without the notion, the truth of yourself is already recognized. Nothing you have to do. So, most of the struggle is to try and convince the mind that this is it. We're trying to struggle to convince the mind on three... trying to convince the mind 'I am,' 'I have seen,' 'I recognize.' Forget it. Who convinced your mind about anything at all? Don't wait for the mind's certificate. I am giving you the certificate. Why you want certificate from the mind? You are complete. Fool me, fool whatever you can be, whatever you will always ever be is already here now. You are all there is. I can really get this printed and signed and send each of you: you are all there is. What are you waiting for? For the mind? How do I know this? Because I am you here, one, and I am all that is. And I am able to speak these words because even here there was a time when these set of sensations which are experienced as the body only were held as 'I'. You have never found me in them. It has just been a presumption. And unless you become an idea about yourself, unless you pick up...

You are all there is. I can really get this printed and signed and send it to each of you: you are all there is. Oh dear, waiting for the mind. How do I know this? Because I am you here, one, and I am all that is. And I am able to speak these words because even here there was a time, but these set of sensations which are experienced as the body only willed as I. You have never found me in them; it has just been a presumption. And unless you become an idea about yourself, unless you pick up the notion 'I am something,' you cannot suffer. The notion 'I am something' is suffering. It is said that the Buddha said the world is suffering, 'Sarvam Dukham,' suffering. And that is the usual case because we have played with the world as if 'I am something.' Now let the world be; just be. I am. Show me how you can suffer without a notion. This is how you transcend the identity; you transcend the world.

What is the chain? The structures? 'Aham Brahmasmi'—I am Brahman. They don't say 'I am becoming Brahman.' 'Tat Tvam Asi'—that you are. Are they saying that you will become that? You are. Who are we speaking to? You. Who is speaking? You. That's why, both again: I am That and You are That. Same. That is why this is the inquiry: where does the 'I' lie? What does the 'I' represent? I was still waiting for some experience. Forget about it. Waiting for some awakening experience to happen? Then when the awakening experience happens, then you will get attached to that also, and then when it goes away, you say 'I lost my freedom.' This is not about any experience. Experiences can happen; you don't have to look down upon them. You can even have a sense of joy about them, but nothing is a prerequisite for your existence right now. And this existence is all there is. You have no boundary. All limitations are imagined. All limitations are concepts.

So Father, sometimes I don't understand everything you say, I have to be honest. But there's just so much trust in your voice and there's no... I think that's the word, Father, it's just trust in what you say. It's very helpful, just makes us a bit open to what is being shared.

Many times I've said that you don't have to believe anything that I'm saying, but you do have to be open enough to inquire into it. So if we just close them, you know, it is just something is being said but I'm not going to look at it, I'm not even open to the possibility that this could be true, then it takes some pushing.

Pushing toward a body? You can ask a question, Father? Can I ask a question? So just how it seems to play out here, Father, it means that all appearances are so imprinted effortlessly that the seer is forgotten or the seeing is forgotten. In a sense, it seems like that, Father. You know, although the seeing cannot be forgotten because then none of it would exist, because without the seeing, how would anything even be there? The 'I'—so the 'I' is always there. Maybe we can clarify some earlier. So we see, okay, so awareness is so transparent and the 'I' has no attribute, right? So it's like the air is so transparent that when we look at a box or furniture, we ignore the air.

Yes.

You know, in the sense that to me seems like what... because it is so effortless and so without any attribute that content becomes the 'me.' Yes, you know? But when you really look, there has to be an 'I' for the content, including a belief, including the suffering. The 'I' is irrespective of the suffering.

Yes, exactly.

You know, but the focus goes on the black dot on the wall. You know, that is attention.

Yes, and belief. Now, what is attention reporting back to? Who is attention bringing this content to?

Sorry, I was muted. I was talking, I'm sorry. The attention is reporting to awareness. Awareness knows that, and then somehow consciousness picks it up and does something later.

Actually, here is where the lines between the terms, which is consciousness and that which we call awareness, start to fade away, isn't it? Yes, you can tell. But that which is aware of even attention and the content of attention, that remains unchanging whether there is attention on something or not. So if 'seeing' means this process of watching or seeing using attention, then there is a bigger Seeing with a capital S which is aware of this, which remains untouched, unchanged whether there is content which is seen or there is no content. Whether it is the waking state in which all this chaos of phenomenality is happening, or the sleep state where there is nothing, you are that which is the substratum of all of these things and yet remain completely untouched by it. Whether attention is on or not at all, whether there is nothing to perceive, the space between tones, this awareness is not coming and going with the perception or something.

I'm going to catch up with a bit of the chat. Santa says, 'Recognize the truth of I, but play with belief of who I am not. Yes, when this play is too painful for me.' Yes, in quotes. Or rather, this is the opportunity to look at the source and to rest here in peace. 'I play as I am not.' And I mean, yes, usually it is this suffering which seems to be the trigger in this play to look at what we really are. 'I'm undergoing more awareness of the sensations.' Yes, witness or awareness. Okely says, 'I am without form and cannot describe myself, but it never lasts for a long time. As soon as the thought appears, attention goes there and I take myself to be a person again.' Is your mic working, my dear? Okay, see, I would just ask if your mic works. Apparently it does.

So you said, 'I am without form and cannot describe myself.' Now, that which is formless, can that come and go? So only that which has form can come and go. So even if attention goes on some form, what happened to that which was formless? It never went anywhere. It is this attention which is reporting back to this formless itself. There is never one without this oneness. The formlessness can be... so the idea that 'I have to keep my attention on that which is the formless,' we can leave that. You couldn't even do it. In satsang, we might pick up the idea that 'I just have to keep my attention on this.' This is not true. If this was the requirement, then the waking state would not show up at all. As long as the waking state does show up, attention will go to form. But in the attention going to form, nothing happens to you. Nothing happened.

It is only when... okay, let me... because this is now... you are already aware of yourself. You always have been, okay? So you don't have to be 'being aware of myself.' It is only that you have been deceiving yourself to be something that you are not. What is taken away? You don't have to be aware of the formlessness; you already are awareness. Form or itself, then there is no hope. You have always been self-aware. Nobody taught us to be awareness. So awareness never forgot itself. Awareness playing in this dynamic aspect then started to consider itself to be something limited, the body-mind. Only this conception has to be dropped away. The thing you have to do... you don't have to, because that sounds like a split attention. 'My attention is just here.' You can completely be engaged, like right now this attention is completely engaged with you, and yet awareness has not forgotten itself.

Now this belief which you said, 'once again the pull is very strong,' is already gone. I'm not telling you something which is very true; it is gone. But the mind will come and offer it to you again. What do you do with that offer? Just let it come and go. It will say, 'No, no, but it is strong.' Not strong; it is just how the mind has retained its power by convincing us of these ideas. That's what I've been telling you, that the best news is that you don't have to do the cleanup job of conditioning. You have the best cleaning lady. That cleaning lady has done the job completely clean in this moment. You are done. Now, you know, if you pick up one leaf from the tree of conditioning, it can feel like the whole tree comes back. But even if that happens, what is the good news? That in this moment, it is all gone again. You don't have to do a particular job. So consciousness, it is super simple.

Whatever your strongest concepts might have been, in this moment you are first free from all of them. Mind will come to the 'but' and say, 'But it can't be so simple, but it can't be this kind of thing.' And that is why I have satsang every day, to remind you that whatever the 'but' might be is not true. You have no work to do with that. That can be a bit of a struggle, okay. Then because... be empty about any of those, because the one that was is not found. We have played as a person trying to find God. Now that first mask itself is dropped away. In this moment, you are open completely and certified. I can sign it and send it to you. If you are not, if you believe a 'but,' then that is also the play of consciousness. As long as it's like that, even then there is nothing for you to do except come to satsang.

This makes it really clear. Sometimes I have to go. Registration for Rishikesh is up in a few minutes.

Okay, all of you please, if you want to register, please go now. I don't want you to miss the registration and say, 'Father, how's your satsang?' That is priority number one. All of you that have the feeling to register for Guruji's retreat, please, you can go and come back or however. Claire said something: 'You showed me this week is that everything phenomenal, like things heard and things seen, arise in oneness. Hearing and seeing, they are automatic, natural. And then that the idea "I" and concepts arise together too. Yes, it's like the idea "I" is wrapped in the concept. It was then so apparent that this is all just happening but nothing to do with who we really are.' It's a beautiful report.

Everything phenomenal, like things heard and things seen, arise in oneness. Hearing and seeing, they are automatic, natural. There is no distinction between perceiving and the perception itself; that's what she's saying. And then that the idea 'I' and concepts arise together too. Yes, it's like this idea is wrapped in the concepts. It was then so apparent that this is all just happening, but it has nothing to do with who we really are. Another one who sent me privately, so I am not taking a name, saying, 'Thank you, Father. I've never ever had a spiritual experience or dream or vision of any kind.' So this frees up all the expectation. Nothing you need, nothing to exist right now is effortless, and this existence is all there is.

Jyoti Ma says, 'It feels like the attention reports to the me, but when me is questioned, then you recognize there is silence.' Yes, nothing can report to the non-existent one. For 'me' is just a notion. It's like saying... like we've been using this detective example today somehow. So if you believe that you're Sherlock Holmes, then would you say that your attention is reporting to Sherlock Holmes? You would not, because just a belief doesn't make it so. Nancy says, 'It is seen by my mind that I am using it to figure out consciousness. I am not that. Best to remain quiet.' Very good. You cannot solve this like an equation. Our intellect will not reach it, our reasoning will not reach it, our concepts will not reach it, our perceptions will not reach it.

So if you're looking for it like an object and you feel like with perception you will find it one day, the Self—this is the Self, no. Not with attention, not with perception. If you feel like one day you will figure out the equation like Eureka, Archimedes in the bathtub shouting 'Eureka, Eureka, I figured it out,' no. It will not be something that you compute. 'Eureka!' This is a very useful discovery because many are trying to compute. If you feel like just by asking your mind you will sort it like some mathematical equation, it doesn't happen like that. It is not for that. Shanti says, 'It just occurred here that nothing was ever learned, it would appear. These habits have developed over time, but it is just something coming up now.' Very good. The delusion is that something learned has to be unlearned. Yes.

It will not be something that you compute. Eureka! This is a very useful discovery because many are trying to compute it, as if just by asking yourself or the mind, you will sort it like some mathematical equation. It doesn't happen like that. It is not for that.

Shanti says, it just occurred here that nothing was ever thought it would appear. These habits I have developed over time, but it is just something coming up now. Very good. The delusion is that something learned has to be unlearned. Yes, that also is part of the delusion because we cannot really see that there has been a past at all. Memory is the most unreliable. Like I say, we don't start a dream, and we don't start a real dream saying that, 'Oh, I have amnesia.' You still seem to remember those people we meet in the train. So the functioning of memory is just completely a play of consciousness. So all this play of time and space, ultimately you see that it is nothing but a play of light and sound happening within you.

The delusion is that something learned has to be unlearned, yes, which is played at. But in reality, there is only this. It is simpler than some... oh gosh, you're typing also. You're heroes.

The notion 'I' is our operating system. It has to be overwritten by your grace operating system. I am helpless, not able to delete our own operating system. At your feet. Right, this much you know if you have a doctor pen in your story.

Another question: whether they can meet me in Bangalore. They are in Bangalore at the moment. Let me know. It is fine. You're welcome to join satsang. Send a request on Facebook, and I'll have somebody respond to you on that.

Bubble is unstable today. I kept bugging them. Please, Father, empower me to face them when they come again.

The smaller the best thing, the best thing about being able to call someone Father, Baba, is that everything is their problem. If you have even a little bit of reverence for anything, and you can see if we surrender everything to them, and you say that when these situations happen, you're right. No dodging. The knowingness into which I move off-script to be another. Bring it on. I'm here with you. Let's see what they will take away. Let's see what they can hurt.

Dear Father, thank you for being always here. The presence is always felt. Not even questions are relevant. It is enough to be at your feet. Thank you. Ellen says, 'Thank you Father for dissolving the mind clouds with such clarity.' Love you too. Can't wait to be there, but exams just won't end.

They'll end. I'm glad. I've been taking reports about you, my dear, and I'm happy to hear that the body is feeling much better now. Gautam is saying, 'Thank you. The health and well-being of this body is your problem.' Let me see you. It feels like the other day you were just here in the same room with me. You are sitting now there; it doesn't feel like you're there. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai.