What is Here Now? - 10th January 2018

So actually, when I'm sitting in meditation and try to surrender, I feel that already there's an effort to stop believing the next thought or to block the next thought. So a lot of times it's difficult to do that. Even when I sit in self-inquiry and I just say that I'm not these thoughts and I'm not this, and I can see that I'm not the thoughts and not the feelings, but once I'm done with that, then it's like I have to kind of remember that I'm not this. It isn't an auto... it's not actually vigilance, it's like it's just becoming a mental trick kind of thing. Just yesterday, for a brief moment, probably for a second, the mind stopped itself and then I could see that probably that's the way to go, but I couldn't get that state back. So I'm not sure exactly the way I should be feeling the feeling. I don't... as long as it's you, how to get there now?

This 'I Am,' does it have anything to do with anything? Why we have to bother about that pretends one who doesn't even exist? So the future is for that one, the one who is saying, 'Okay, but what happens after I leave the seat or leave Satsang?' You see what I'm saying? That which you are right now is the maximum that you will ever be. It means no planning, it means no strategy. Already it is a gift to you, and this is true about you in every moment. You don't have to believe it; you are complete already. But then you give it these conceptual boundaries of past, future, then it can seem like it's a bit and you... you see? Because what is happening is that then it becomes about the life of a particular body-mind. But what you're finding about yourself now is that you just are. Not something. Does this have a future? Does it really have a past?

Now, if some feelings start to come, a lot of thoughts start coming, can we touch this? Can anything overwhelm this? It's like I said, it's just not... no weapon can cut you, no fire can burn you. You see? It is said this entire universe might burn to bits, but you will remain untouched. You're not making an arrogant statement about the body; no, the body will go along with the world. You see? Your truth, which is independent of the outward appearance of what play is happening through the body, is independent. It is not fighting with them, not affected by them.

But is the remembrance required to remain there? I notice that interrogation, otherwise what would happen is that I would have to share this once in Satsang and then done.

But we have more than thousand now. Someone was reminding me earlier that we have some 1600 videos now. Why so much of all of this? Because it seems that habit of conditioning, it seems like something that has the momentum of picking the bag back up. So you need this constant reminder. Is this an effortless position or is it my job? So every day, all I'm coming and reminding you is that in this moment, now, you are free. You see how Consciousness seems to be playing at this moment? And one time will come... I can't tell you, I can't predict when, but a time will come when you will laugh at this. You see? How did it seem effortless to pick up thoughts, to pick up conditioning, and how was it seeming effortful to leave them? You will laugh at this. It will come for all of us.