What Does ‘Sin’ Mean?

I understand. But look at it this way: God's Grace makes God available to us. He makes Himself available to us. Then He does not leave. Has He ever left after making Himself available to us? He has never left. He never said, 'Okay, my time is out, your time is up, for an additional hour you have to pay more.' He has never said that, no?

But why does He let me leave?

You see, I have two biological children and so many of the Satsang children. If, just for them to love me, I force them to sit in a room with me all day, then would I really call that love from them to me? No. To see whether they really love me, I have to give them their space, isn't it? And that is true for all human love also. If you're in a marriage and you say, 'You can't go anywhere without me,' is that really love? So we may say, 'Why does He let me leave?' but then He could have made us a plant. He could have made a plant where it is just planted in one place and doesn't have any—I don't know how the plant life is—but supposedly they cannot leave Him; they have to rely on His love and intelligence every moment. But He's not made us like a plant.

There was a time in my life when I was too desperate and every moment, every second, I just wanted God. I found this vantage was too strong and it started to separate me from God. Then I changed my tactic. Now I am a little bit on the other side. Why not pray all the time? I could pray.

You should. You should make that commitment. Yes, of course.

I just wanted to admit again that I changed the prayer a little bit. I don't see myself as a 'sinner'; I see myself as 'separated' instead. I don't want to say I am a sinner because it may generate some vibration or something. I don't want to create myself as that.

It's fine, you don't have to use the word. But what is your definition of a sin?

A sinner is someone who is making bad things because they want to do it—they want to hurt others, they want to do bad things.

Okay, it's good. So they want to do bad things. Now give me the definition of a good thing versus a bad thing.

Good things are if I want others to be in love, be with God, find the truth. The bad is to separate them from this.

Very good. So how to know really what is good and what is bad? Because the mind never says, 'Do this thing, it's going to be a bad thing, but do it anyway.' It always presents it as a good thing, isn't it?

Yes, but sometimes by emotion, maybe I get angry at someone and just for a second something comes to my mind like, 'Okay, I need revenge.'

If you involve emotions at this moment, it'll become a little more complex. So let's start with the simple one first. Doesn't the mind present even that which turns out to be a bad thing as if it's a good thing? Now, if you follow the mind's presentations of every 'good' thing, does that mean we are leading a good life or doing only good things? We don't know. Exactly, my child. So is there a way that we can know what is good and what is not good? Let's not even say 'bad' because 'bad' is like 'sin'—let's not use the word if it troubles us. We are really blind; we don't know anything.

Only God knows. We never know.

God will know. So when we follow God's will, could that ever be a bad thing?

If we are sure this is God's will, never. But when we're not sure and we just guess, that can be very dangerous.

Exactly. Is there a way to become clearer and clearer about that? Suppose that with integrity, we truly feel that we are following God's will by not rushing, by waiting for the presence of unconditional love, by not grasping at personal things—all the tools that you've been given in Satsang. And still, we got confused by the mind in spite of all of this; our intention was to only follow God's will, but we got confused and followed another way. If a brother or sister did that, would you call that doing a bad thing? No. So the intention to fully follow God's will is the only thing we can do to remain in God's will, isn't it? It's the only way.

I see. Whichever word you want to use, you can use. I use the word sin. I'm sorry, when I changed it, I knew this was like pride, but I don't know.

Very good. I realize this thing is there because of strong conditioning, maybe some childhood experiences or ideas about the word 'sin.' So I just want to clarify for everyone what I mean. What I simply mean by the word 'sin' is that God has a will for us. We can conform to that will, we can abide by that will. But when I don't—when I say 'I already know' or 'I don't want to follow'—then that is an error that I'm making. Whether we call it error, mistake, or sin, it doesn't really matter as long as we are working on that. But to just take out the word 'sinner' and stay in a kind of denial while we constantly go our own way instead of waiting for God's will to guide us—that may not be healthy. If you're saying 'the error' or 'the mistaker,' I'm okay with whatever word you use. But we must not bring ourselves into denial of the fact that we are still attracted to going our own way instead of waiting for God. To use the holy altar of prayer to not bring that to light and to offer that to Him would be a big error. We must bring the fact that we continue to make this error because of our pride, because of the idea that we know something. We must offer that to God constantly, which then gives the fuel for Him to give His Mercy. Because if we are not doing anything wrong anyway, then why do we need His Mercy? Then we just need His Justice, isn't it?

I also changed the word 'mercy' as well. I said, 'Please love me.' What you're saying is very sweet, but can I say there is really just one minute story about this? When my father died, I had an idea that it was my fault because I suggested homeopathic medication and then he died. For a long time, I felt I killed my father. Once when I was praying in a really holy place, I heard Jesus talk to me. He told me, 'You have no sin. There is nothing, nothing exists, only love.' In that minute everything was so clear. Everything was only love.

He was coming to say that your intention was to love your father, to give him the best treatment. Your intention came out of love. We only can follow what our depth of understanding is in that moment. So you followed, you loved your father with good intention, and you felt you were on the right track. It cannot be taken to be a mistake; it cannot be taken to be an error. Nobody would ever say that you killed your father. It is just not true. You only loved your father. For you, wasn't that the highest, wasn't that the best course of action at that moment? Then it is not a mistake; it is not a sin at all. It is purely love. Please unburden yourself from this idea. The 'sin' that we are talking about is to know the path of love and still go with the path of absence of love. It is to know the path of God's will and still to pick our own selfish ways, which is not what you did in your father's case at all.

And Jesus said the same, that 'you have no sin.' And because he said I am not a sinner, I changed the prayer. But 'mercy'—what is the problem with that word? I don't know. Sometimes I don't feel the love of God, and sometimes I don't feel my love towards God either. This is why I put the words, 'Please, if there's any pride hiding there...'

We do realize that our next heartbeat is His Mercy, no? Our next breath is His Mercy. If it was not His Mercy, then what entitles us to have our next breath or next heartbeat? Everything is His Mercy. To recognize that He is the all-powerful, all-loving Father or Mother is to use those words: 'Have mercy on me.' It's very deep. Every word is very deep in the prayer because it also entails the fact that He knows—He is the audience of one. Because He knows more about where we fail in love, we have to ask for His Mercy for those moments where we fail to love as we should, because only He can convert that absence of love into a deep love. Whether we look at sin as going our own way and not waiting for God's love to guide us, or we look at sin as a non-existent darkness—an absence of love. Like the absence of light is not a 'thing,' there is no substance called darkness, but it is the absence of light which we need to work on. So there is no such thing as 'Sin' as a substance, and you've been guided absolutely correctly. But we still say that the room is dark, isn't it? Darkness is an invitation for us to love where there is an absence of love; it is an invitation for us to put on a light when there is darkness. As long as we are working on the light and being in the light, it is fine. Whether you call it sin or the absence of love, it's okay.