What Does Not Go to Sleep in Your Sleep State? - 8th December 2017

What does not go to sleep in your sleep state? What remains untouched when the waking state comes? What is here when one is going to sleep? Right in our original sleep state, what remains untouched no matter what the sensation might be? The strongest sensation might be there, the strongest pain might be here—is that the entirety of human being? What can you say about that which witnesses this play? Biggest grief might be there—is that the entirety of human grief? So, we are not to get into any sort of denial of the world. We can look at the appearance as an appearance. But if you use that definition of reality which says that reality is that which is unchanging, does that dissolve a bit of our attention or no? And if their life is going in the play of appearances, then there will be enough in this drama to go on with variously. Something available—if you're happy to spend this entire existence just playing with this set of appearances, that's fine too. But I am speaking to those who are willing to look beyond. What is beyond this play of coming and going? And if it is beyond this play of coming and going, it must be here now. It can never go.

And for the true knowledge of this—knowledge with a capital K—all that is needed is the dropping of the forms. You don't have to come to reality, because that would be contradictory. You can't come to that which is not coming and going. It must already be here. But just for a moment, can you be empty of this conceptual layer of depth? Also, favorite ideas about all that you have learned, all you including all the satsangs ever attended—nothing you heard, nothing you understood, nothing. Not one step you have. What you have always just been here. Where are you now? And if your answer is just an inference, then better you admit that you don't know. Holding on to a second-hand answer, even if you have heard it in satsang, will not get you. That is not integrity. No judgment, no inference, nothing learned. Completely naked of any concept. What do you know?

'I don't know' is not a bad answer. Sometimes some of us have these biological children; they'll ask me a lot of questions. Now, it's not that the questions are tiring, actually, because many parents complain that these questions are tiring. My child asks me—the questions are not tiring. It is because they ask you a question which will make you feel stupid very fast, you see. Ultimately, a child within five or six questions, he comes to things like, 'Why is the sky blue?' And you don't want to feel stupid that 'I have lived on this planet for forty years and more and I still don't know why the sky is blue.' Then, 'Keep quiet, you'll understand when it's your time.' Isn't this fear about it? In India also, and some Middle Eastern countries also, it is like this: that nobody tells you if you ask them for directions, nobody says they don't know, okay? Everybody will say, 'Just go a little bit forward, there you'll find it.' So, 'Is it on left or right?' 'No, no, there you go there.' Then you ask somebody, 'So, do you know?' 'Yeah, of course.' 'What do you mean of course?'

So, this is what is happening. After many such satsangs, you can feel like, 'I heard I am Brahman,' and hold on to consciousness, and 'I heard I'm the unborn,' you see. So, how can I admit to myself that I don't know it? Because this 'I don't know' sounds like bad news or something, but actually it is the best news. If you come to this neutrality, this emptiness of 'I don't know,' that means that you have dropped all concepts of who you are. In a moment, you might see that this truth has been so apparent to you. And that is why one of my themes over the last few weeks has been: don't try to solve it like an equation. Because many are trying to solve it as a mathematical inference: 'I found this is this, plus this equals this, therefore I must be that.' It cannot be a 'must be' like that. That is very sort of mental to do.

Many of you are trying to see some emptiness or something, but this is still mental visualization, trying to find the space. Because sometimes in satsang we use the terms like 'the space of being,' 'the space of awareness.' The mind latches on to that and tries to give you this big empty space, and you start to believe that, 'Oh, that is awareness.' It is not that. What is aware of even that perceiving? Then you will see that it is neither an object nor space. I stroll across a desert. I know the earth, water, fire, air, not even the space you are. You are beyond any imagination, beyond any visual concept, beyond any mental concept.

What is your experience right now? What is your direct insight right now? And hear this when I'm telling you that there is nothing missing. Nothing is missing because 'missing' means coming and going. If something was missing, that would mean the truth is coming and going. It is just that you're interpreting it wrongly. We can say right now all appearances are appearing. Are you not aware of them? Does this awareness change? Stay with your insight. Don't go to an inference. Does this awareness change? All appearances are changing. What about that? You will find that this is unchanging. And if the mind is giving you some doubt about this, try to change. Don't be aware for one fraction of a moment. Don't be aware. You can't do it. Even if you say, 'I went to sleep,' even to have this experience called sleep, what you're actually saying is that 'I am aware of the experience of sleep.' You see, all my senses stopped. I am irritated so deeply that all sensory perception were in the way. The world vanished, body vanished, emotions vanished, thoughts vanished. And I must be there to be aware of it.

But I know the nature of the mind. The mind says, 'Yes, nothing happened to awareness, it's so clear. But what about me?' This is a joke. We went on the expedition to find 'I'. We found that 'I' is this unchanging awareness. But the mind comes in even there and says, 'Yeah, yeah, of course I know this little awareness, nothing has ever happened to it, but what about me?' And we start on the same journey again. Can you introduce this 'I'? And you can get back and we find only awareness. That's why I like what Claire said the other day: 'I, this unchanging Self.' But the habit is to play as if it is the smaller, the limited, emotional, egoic self. So, this one comes back and says, 'Yes, now that you see the big reality, how does that change your life?' Back to this one. Then we go searching: who wants a life to be different? Who had the experience of the Self? And we come and see, 'Ah, this was the unchanging Self itself.' But what about me? You see, the loop is round and round.

Every day in satsang, we are tuning this out. The answer is here. It is complete. You are the Self. Now, if you say, 'But I know it's meant to be about me,' or even if you say, 'And now I must be free,' it's still about this one. Are you willing to give up the investment on the small 'me'? If you still feel that in satsang you get something for that one, then you better forget about it now. We don't go on some money—some better use of your time. If there's still some hope that something I will hear here will do something for the non-existent 'me', this is not going to happen. Do you have a doubt about awareness? Like, 'Why is awareness still so bad? When will the awareness get more money? When will awareness find better relationships?' No, you don't have a doubt like that. It's always about the non-existent 'me'. If there says, 'Who? What is dropping the thought or not believing in the thought?' It is by looking. The fact is that no clarity comes. Looking is never defective. Clarity is already.

Searching for the non-existent me—this is not going to happen. Do you have a doubt about awareness? Like, why is awareness still so bad? When will awareness get more money? When will awareness have better relationships? No, you don't. You never doubt like that. It's always about the non-existent me. If there is a sense of 'who is dropping the thought' or 'not believing in the thought,' it is by looking that clarity comes. Looking is never defective. Clarity is already here. You are aware of all the appearances. Okay, I don't see it? It's okay. You are aware of all appearances. I can say this with complete confidence. What is wrong in the looking now? How are you interpreting this experience?

Nisargadatta Maharaj talked very deep, actually, that you are not experiencing suffering; you're just suffering your experiencing. Actually, you are experiencing only the truth, but you are interpreting it. So, it is not even that you see the snake where there is just a rope, but actually it is only that you are interpreting the rope as a snake. So, who is it that accepts the thought or doesn't? It is your own Self in this dynamic aspect called consciousness. We can see consciousness is all there is. When we speak of all there is phenomenally, it is the light of all phenomena; it is the screen of all phenomena. The notional 'me' never was born. All of this is clear. Actually, everything is frozen.

I was broadcasting. Somebody can behave with me. I was broadcasting. Can somebody type out of this? I went for lunch a few minutes ago and we saw that there's a spoon on the table. This spoon on the table was being perceived, and I saw that the action is just functioning on its own in my being, and I'm aware of the presence of this piece of my existence. So, the spoon was there as an object within existence, and there was an awareness of this existence with no separation between that which is aware and that which exists. Oneself. I can't find anything below. And to perceive the spoon, I did not have to invent a 'me.' Only to suffer have I to invent a 'me.' For this life to function, can I be more? That was the question.

Consciousness will dilute its care because, being a person for so long, consciousness is coming out of the delusion. Why does it do it? Consciousness. And the last 'why' do we then meet in Satsang? In the play of consciousness, reminding consciousness that the person has never been. Life is not shocking. Seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling—all these are still effortless. I am not found in the body. No boundaries are found. The world exists effortlessly, and the world includes this body. This is here without any effort. Are you making some effort to be, to exist? No. That's what I said: that you can't even try to just be, because even that brings some idea of effort into things. 'I'm going to just be from now.' But you were already. You don't need to take any new positions, and you are aware of it. Completely aware that you exist. Nobody has to teach you that. No, nobody from outside is telling you that. It's so natural.

But this 'me' has never come into existence. I say, when you don't even exist in that way, the one that you're posing as—the one that wants something, the one that has a plan, the one that has decided to do something or not do, the doer or non-doer, the desirer or renouncer—all of these are just notions. The one that has buried our grievances and willingness is not you. It does not exist now, never has. Okay, I'm going to give you a ten-year project. The ten-year project is, and I'll tell you what to do, all the steps that you have to find the space in this room. Find it. I give you full permission. See, what color is it? And what is in this space which is working? That which is aware even of this space? You can go for ten years and come to the same, very same conclusion: that it has always been here, but I cannot find it as an object.

You all can see this is like that. All this time, find time. I know this time. If nothing, she can do no very change. So what is the shape of this time? So time and space in themselves don't have these qualities. Why are you expecting to find the Self as if it will be an experience? Can you drop anything of this, please? You take a photo of them. Those are just objects which are appearing and disappearing within time and space. What about the awareness itself? It is okay. Where do you go? Picture of that? How can it be? This seems like this idea for a message, like this some big black space on top. All concepts about it, whether they are visuals or ideas, are just notions. Stop trying to find it as if it is something.

And see what is natural and effortless. What is naturally here? And for those of you who want a ten-year project, I can create it. First two days, get rid of your last protection before it's a stroke. And then every city on getting act and then please, please stay there. That is the only way. How long will I represent a notion or a visual? There's something real about you. You, the world, and you see. You are dropping this force and being consecrated. So me, and with the same example the next day, the fear is useful for me. If you had the idea that I haven't driven this car for a long time on a busy road and I have to be in control of it moment to moment, and someone comes and says, 'Let it go, it'll be fine,' some moment fear would come. 'What do you mean?' But because you are starting to trust, you just let go.

But the fear, when the fear, you see, so much fear is coming, Father. You know, let go, so much fear is coming as I'm feeling that I'm not a thing.

This is the same fear that you will crash. Actually, life continues. Cool. Let's move along this way, this way. I don't know, maybe it happens. So what happens is something is that as you are coming to your Self, you thought that you were controlling the life with these concepts, these notions. You're getting empty, and during that time, that little bit of time, you can feel some fear. It might feel like a fear of death. It might feel like the fear of losing control. And I'm here to tell you that I'm here with you through this fear, and you see that there is nothing to fear. I'm here with you. Can you see that I am you? And this 'hands off the steering wheel' is neither doership nor non-doership. You are not going to do that now. 'Hands off the steering wheel' does not mean that, 'Oh, I have bills to pay but I am not the doer, so I won't pay them.' That is also the doing of not doing. You're doing the not doing. It only means that you don't take a position with regards to anything at all, and you will see that the body will continue to move just like these birds are without anybody doing them, just like the hearing of them is happening. Thank you. Om Shanti Shanti Shanti. Satguru Sri Mooji Baba Ki Jai. Sadhguru Sri Ananta Ji Ki Jai.