We Have to Keep Recommitting and Surrendering to God - 21st November 2024

The pull towards the irrationality, the seeming irrationality of living in God's presence and His support alone versus the mind's compelling narrative saying, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do you, be with God, but be a little practical, is it?' So that is the serpent's voice which we can't really argue with that well because it seems to make sense. It seems to say, 'Yeah, but I'm not saying leave God, but can't you just, you know, balance it out a bit? Can't you just do this a bit?' So in that way, it wants to take our lives. We have to keep revisiting and recommitting in our heart our commitment and our surrender to God. Because although theoretically it's just a question of turning within and remaining empty in hoping that His grace will bless us with His light, His presence, but just that the compelling gravitation of Maya keeps pulling us into this.

So if you're struggling, it is good actually. But there can be like an ease of being in God's presence, but there's also a seeming ease in Maya. All of that, like suddenly if someone were to say, 'You know what? Just don't worry, your seat at God's feet is booked. You know, it's blocked for you. It's not going anywhere. Just enjoy, chill now. This Maya is for you to enjoy, your seat is booked.' Then somewhere it can feel like a relief. This 'pray all the time,' this 'inquire,' this 'be empty,' 'don't get angry also now,' 'don't get irritated also now'—all of this stuff. 'Just I can just do whatever.' So it can feel like a relief.

So the Maya's temptation, because the spiritual life seems so difficult, can also seem like a relief for us. As many of my kids, including some of you, have told me that 'I don't feel I'm cut out for this,' yeah, you see. And it started happening when I started sharing in this way more. Then I was saying that it's all easy, be empty, nothing, nothing, nothing, yeah. So you're getting into the pose of open and empty and that seemed like, 'Yeah, I can do this, this helps me, I can do this.' But now I'm saying: are you praying? Are you in His presence? Are you getting angry? Are you trying to win over your brother? Are you trying to, you know, all of that? Because those are the signs of virtue.

And we don't like—in the way we started, we didn't want to talk about virtue and things like, 'Who wants to talk about virtue?' That's for some beginner spiritualists. 'Who wants to talk about humility and truthfulness and compassion and all of that? Who is there to be?' You know, all of this would probably Advaita it away. But being in His presence teaches us how to be virtuous, patient, courageous, not angry. And the more we learn those things, then the mind's temptations don't pull us as much as they used to. So it becomes a virtuous circle, literally full of virtue. So it feeds on—so being in God's presence feeds on our virtues, and being virtuous then feeds on our ability to just remain in His presence. And then you just keep in that.

Like the virtue of patience is literally gold. Very, very, very important. But patience is what you lose the fastest. Like in my satsang children, if I was to report something I was to say, I would say that we are very quick to drop our patience, very quick to take on position, very quick to hold on to something instead of just—because patience needs courage, it needs a lot of faith, it needs a lot of trust. Because patience cannot be lip service, you know. You can't like really fake patience. The patience just trusts something beautiful. Know that, what is it?

So suppose I give you something, this is a very valuable belonging. It's please, it's almost like my entire life I give it to you. Then I'm like later, I give it to Chinmayi. 'Is she really taking care of it? But she's very busy with things, I don't know.' And then I'm like, 'What do you feel? I give it to Chinmayi, do you feel she's taking care of you like that?' Then if Chinmayi gets to know about it, she'll be like, 'You take it back, I'm not interested.' She just—'If you don't trust me to take care of it well, why are you giving it to me?' No, but that is the exact very same thing we do with God. We say that You are here, that You exist and my life belongs to You. But when this Maya plays up, you're just like, 'Are we going in the right way? Is it? What are You doing to my life?'

We start to question God, our teacher, our path, our spirituality. Everything that we hear in satsang, everything can be doubted in that time. And if you would not take that kind of surrender—like if our daughter came, if my daughter came, biological daughter Dia came and said, 'Father, you just take care of this for me,' and every day she's like five times, 'Is it safe? Is my ring safe? Is my ring safe?' Like, 'You take it back, you take care of it. If you can't trust me to take care of it for you, then don't give it to me at all.' So that is the path of trust that we need to learn. Because that is when the rubber hits the road. Like, do I really feel like He's there? He's the ever-present, ever-loving, all-powerful, fully available God? Do I really feel that? Then how could I worry? What makes me then worry? Like anxiety and faith can't really live together.

But while we are on the cusp, then that struggle seems very difficult sometimes. Anxiety wins, sometimes faith wins, right? So that we keep oscillating in this back and forth and it can seem so difficult. And why? Because Maya, because the world seems real. If the world did not seem real...

Can you say more on patience? Because sometimes I'm just saying, sometimes I feel when I'm saying—I had this conversation with B and he was getting angry and I said, 'You have to be patient.' You know me, he is the most patient person in the world, but he was still expecting a result to go according to how he wanted it. So I can be patient but I'm not surrendered, you know what I'm saying? In a way, like if you're attached to the outcome, then you can't really be very patient. So patience is like you said, trust. Yeah, that trust makes me patient for His guidance. So you're okay with the outcome, so you don't really have to...

So what we may be saying is in comparison to other people in the world, that we may find ourselves like the most patient one or something like that. But the benchmarks of spirituality are very different, yeah. What it needs to be truly close to God, truly live in His presence, are things that people in the world will just laugh at and say, 'What is this for?' If somebody says that, 'I'm just inward-facing, waiting to deepen my relationship with God, and I've been doing that for 10 years.' '10 years? You're wasting your whole life! How do you know there is a God there? You know, how do you...?' So all this thing. So the benchmarks are very different.

When you're using these words which apply both in the world and in spirituality, the level of patience you need, the level of courage you need, the level of trust you need in spirituality is very, very high. Very, very high. Like that's why Shabri, Abraham—that's why all of them, those are benchmarks. So patience, like the patience required to close a business contract versus the patience of Shabri, can't be compared. It's two different, very different leagues. Although the quality is the same, but the magnitude is different.

By Maya, that is what it's very, very difficult part. But is there no Maya? No waking state, only shows up, no phenomena shows up? It's easy. This realm of Maya is so compelling. We may keep saying it constantly, something happens suddenly in your... just like, you know, this is the compelling nature of this. It takes one trigger, tiniest trigger. 'How did Father look at me?' This, like anything. For us to change from full service and devotion to God and trust in Him and being in His presence to being fully caught up in the world, many times just a millisecond.

And most of that is based on the delusion that we have time. We have time. We don't say it like really say it, say it, but we can say, 'Yeah, God can wait, basically. The sun will rise again tomorrow, I'll be with God then.' Not in those many words, but that's the idea. Otherwise, if you could just be with God and today was your last day, are you going to waste your time having grievances and resentment and pride and any of that? If this was our last day, of course, here completely caught up in Maya, or maybe because the last day we could be full of fear and that would make us this. But if there was literally no time, then once you know that He's here and your job is to be with Him, that is our work. Then under what pretext would we bunk this work? But Maya first makes us feel like He's not actually here, not actually here. He's not with you right now, not sitting in your heart or...

Resentment and pride and any of that—if this was our last day, of course, here, completely caught up in Maya, or maybe because the last day we could be full of fear and that would make us this. But if there was literally no time, then once you know that He's here and your job is to be with Him, that is our work. Then under what pretext would we bunk this work? But Maya first makes us feel like He's not actually here, not actually here. He's not with you right now, not sitting in your heart or next to you, so be angry, it's okay, you're right; be prideful, it's okay, you're right; this is real reality. But if you change over to just having this sense that He's here with you, whether you even feel like He's sitting with you or sitting in your heart, then we can't be that way. And it's a very powerful way to just live, to just know that He's constantly with you.

So there, and even like a worldly way of knowing is a good start as far as that is concerned. Like, 'I know' means I remind myself He's with me. I know conceptually He's with me. This is not bad because it leads to that deeper knowing in your heart where you know in your heart that He's with you. But for many of us, it still seems very far-fetched and absurd. You may not realize many times spirituality seems like just the mechanism of self-help: 'I want to deepen in it so that I can be peaceful, I can be loving, feel love, I can be happy.' So if Ram Ji was standing here tall, like eight feet tall, then how would we be? Posture would be different—not the way we are sitting, but our inner posture would be different. That is what is like that innocence, that awe, that reverence, that love, that gratitude; all of it comes naturally if you just look at it that way. But He is with you much more intimately than that eight-foot-tall idea or vision.

Whatever God, in whichever way you can relate to Him, doesn't matter. You could be from a North American tribal area, never learned the language, and you call Him something else, you see? But they have songs to the Great Spirit. Without coming into contact with the rest of the world, they've come up with their own music which prays to the Great Spirit which is within them. Anybody and in every culture, there are people who are able to contemplate and remain empty, and they come to the same understanding. But it's rare to just do this by yourself. Usually, you need a teacher to not to guide you so much, but just to tell you that, you know, do it. Yes, but also that here, somebody is sitting in front of you telling you, 'I am telling you it is true,' you see? Looking you in the eye and saying, 'It is true.' That is the most important thing. Because you can read it in a book, but you feel like, 'Yeah, this one said and this one has written.' Valmiki has written, Tulsidas Ji has written, but to have one of them sitting in front of you, looking in the eye and saying, 'God is there with you,' is very different, you see?

I feel like that is the main function of the teacher, actually. Because the Maya pulls us so much into the world and how true this is, and what people say about me and think about me—that is the most important thing. You have to meet someone who comes and tells you all this is not the truth; there's a greater reality of God's presence. He lives in your heart, no matter what your experience may be about that. 'I am telling you it is true.' Then you are forced into a corner because you have to make a judgment saying, 'Is he a liar, or is he mad, or is he telling the truth?' You're stuck in that mode because you've been told something astonishing now, and you feel like, 'Okay, he's saying this to me now, what? Like, what is my move? Like, God lives in your heart right now, so what is my move?'

You have to conclude either that, 'Oh, easy for him to see, yeah,' or, 'He seems a bit mad, his hair is crazy,' you know, could be like that. Or it could be that, 'He wants something from me, he's lying, he's trying to make me a follower or disciple, or he wants my money, or he wants to make use of me in some other way,' you see? So then we try to see all of that. And when we don't make headway in any of that—that's why a Guru's life has to be beyond any of those things, so that you can't say, 'Actually, he just wanted my money; actually, he just wanted my body to use me in a physical way; actually, he just wanted to feel proud about himself by gathering people around him,' you see? So when we discount all of those things because it seems like he doesn't want any of that, then we are forced to really say, 'Okay, this man doesn't want anything from me, he's not after anything I have to give him, yet he is telling me that beyond this perceptual world, there is a holy presence of God in my heart, and my job is to just turn inwards and not worry about anything else.' What can I do with that information? What can I do with that information?

The 'why' question is coming up. Why am I so stupid not to realize that? Because the trust, the complete trust is there.

But yeah, that's why I'm saying that all of us are stupider than we want to be. I keep saying that I'm so foolish because I see that I'm more foolish than I want to be. And if I look at it, I realize that I'm foolish because I keep falling for Maya. If Maya did not appear, I would easily be with God all the time, you see? But how does it work? I start every day with the intention of fully being with God. I'm able to start most days in that way. And then what happens? Somebody says, 'Oh, this large client is upset,' or something has gone wrong, or somebody has resigned, or somebody, something has happened. And if I have attachment to that particular thing, idea—like I want that work to go well, I want the team to be happy—any of those ideas, then when these events happen and the narrative comes about them, then they seem compelling and I forget about God. That is my foolishness.

But if Maya did not appear, it's easy, no, to just remain in presence. It's like automatic Samadhi all the time. It's easy to be in His presence. This Maya keeps... so I'm lying to myself thinking I'm not attached to that, the outcome is not interesting me.

Yeah, we are all lying to ourselves because our life shows us where we are lying. The instant when we leave God shows us our attachment, shows us what we are valuing in that moment more than being in His presence.

It sounds absurd when we make it physical. Ram Ji standing here, eight feet tall, beautiful blue skin, radiant eyes, amazing. Then all of us sitting like this, if one of us goes over and says, 'Sorry, I have a work conference happening,' you'd say, 'What's wrong with this one? Doesn't he see that, you know, God is standing there?' See, because when we make it physical like that, it seems urgent and important. But because it's not perceivable—like the primordial vibration is the most pristine but subtle perception—when it's not perceivable that way, we think, 'Okay, this can take priority.' So what I'm learning is that, can I not always live like He is with me? Because that is not an 'as if.' It's not like I'm pretending that He's always with me. It's just that Maya makes me feel like He's not here. You getting? My job is to make us forget about God. This Atma's job is to make us forget about Maya. What happened?

So that is the whole play. If you did not gauge the value of being in His presence in phenomenal terms, if you do not hanker for phenomenal evidence of our progressing in love and faith, then the path would be much easier. If we play the upside-down game where we feel like, 'Okay, now I was with God, what happened here? What happened? Did I have some experience? Did I have something, you know, is there an aura? Can you see something special?' You know, all these kind of things, it's upside down, isn't it? All of this should be used to go deeper with Him. It's a beautiful way to live like that. So I see that this one, like this, what is God showing me in this situation? This one, this child is going through this, what is God showing in this situation? Then what happens is—it's not happened here, but apparently what happens is that then if you start remembering God in whatever worldly situation, then you start to see God everywhere and in everyone like that.

So everything... why isn't everything contemplative reading? You know what I mean? It sounds absurd, like we read a few words of a spiritual book and say, 'Okay, this is helpful, it takes me deep, stay in His presence.' That just... it lasts for some time, maybe long time, maybe short time. But when you start getting distracted again, full of la-la-la-la-la nonsense, then you remember that, 'Oh, there's a lot more where that came from.' So then you read the next line, and if the words are with the hand of God, like words of sages, then they have the beautiful potential to draw us in. But I was just feeling like, why isn't every moment of my life contemplative reading? Like, this child has told me this, this child has told me this, this child has told me this. Why are those words not taken to God and for me to stay with Him and allowing that truly be like the temple priest? See, so you deepen in that way of life.

But the mind hates that because the mind wants you to be the hero. You are central in the narrative. So you just feel like, 'But what about me then?' If there was no you, like there was no body-mind that you call you, there was no identity, there was no Claudia, then how would you live?

Like in paradise.

Exactly. But there came then this childish disobedience of humanity, that it was boring in paradise and the one thing God has forbidden to touch, you want to have like charge.

Exactly, I want that.

Exactly. And that's a very representation of God wanting us to pick Him, you see? Because if He didn't want that apple to be eaten, then He wouldn't have put the tree there anyway, right? But He wanted to give the tree of knowledge to us as a choice. And that tree of knowledge is a choice we make. That tree of knowledge is here where we make that choice of going with that. And if you go with the biblical way of describing it, then what happens? What happens if you eat from the tree of knowledge? Remember anything from church? What did God say clearly?

Out of paradise.

No, 'You will die.' He literally said that, 'You will die,' you see? So that out of paradise is death, you see? So this what we call the zombie life is that death. Because He literally told Adam that if you eat from that tree, then you are dead. Then the question could be, then why did He leave that tree there? Because He didn't want His love to be a forced thing. He didn't want His love to be a forced thing. That if there was no option... like all of you children didn't have any option but to come here, you see? Because I'm sending you like monthly allowance or something like that, and your allowance will be cut if you... or pocket money as children, you know? So you won't get pocket money if you don't hear my rambling every time I ramble, then your being here would be of no value. Now it is of value because you tried to come on such short notice also, it is still valuable. So you express that as a sign of love for me.

The same way God has given us the option to do that while keeping the supremacy supreme, which intellect can't understand. Everyone has the choice to always be in God's presence. Like, to go away from Him is always a choice that we make. And to use Advaita to fight that is just Advaita excuses, to hide from that using spiritual concepts. It's just excuses because nothing can stop us, no matter what the situation, what is appearing in the waking state, nothing can stop us from remembering God and being with Him. And I'm not saying from the pedestal of somebody who has attained mastery over it, but I'm saying from the position of one who is trying and seeing that it is not easy, basically. If it all, if you were to boil it down to one thing, it is just that: right now, what do I have? I want to love God, or I want to focus on me? Right now, what do I want? You know, the sar of the New Testament and the sar of the Gita, according to at least the Bhakti movement, is the same. What is the sar of the New Testament? Love God with all your might and heart and everything.

I'm saying from the pedestal—not the pedestal, but the position of one who is trying and seeing that it is not easy. Basically, if you were to boil it down to one thing, it is just that: right now, what do I have? I want to love God, or I want to focus on me? Right now, what do I want? You know, the sar of the New Testament and the sar of the Gita, according to at least the Bhakti movement, is the same. What is the sar of the New Testament? Love God with all your might and heart and everything, and then your love to neighbor from that love will happen. You can't do two without one. So basically, love God with everything. And what is the sar of the Gita? At least in the Bhakti Marg, it said exactly the same thing: love me with all your heart and mind and I will absorb you within myself. Spiritual union.

So when people talk about religions, it's just absurd. Just one God, and the way to be with that one God is also exactly the same. So whether you look at the Gana Marg and you say 'I am that I am' or you ask 'Who am I?', it's all the same. It's coming to the same insights. But humanity loves to divide. Somebody sent me an angry message: 'Who is this Satan? You're trying to convert people.' Convert to what, from what? Have we met a true Hindu that I'll try and convert them to Christianity? Or have you met a true Christian that I'll try to convert them to Hinduism? Am I any of those things myself? We just get caught up in all this drama and nonsense. It doesn't really help anything; it just becomes a distraction.

Did you see that if we look for outer signs of God, then you're being distracted? Yeah, then it's wrong.

Let the outer lead you further inwards. What I'm saying is that we are looking for the outer evidence of our inwardness. 'What does my Satguru think of me? Do they see how great I am? You see how deep I am?' All of this. So we basically, because we are unsure about ourselves, we want that approval from outside. And when we go deep within, it's just like, 'Oh, now is happening now.' So we still count on that as tangible, and that is intangible.

So I'm just checking. If in my—not what the outside is missing—but if inside I'm expecting some phenomenal, you know, like a huge light to come out, just anything, then that's also a big distraction because you feel, 'I didn't see that' or 'I didn't know.'

Everything phenomenal that we are expecting as a result of our deepening spirituality is just a distraction. Just know. I mean that, like you said, if my Master said it, it's true, and I trust that. And whatever I may feel, I may feel, but I just keep that faith alive in me. It is true. What happened to Shabri after Ram came? I know that's really—they don't show, no, do they show fireworks and all? I may have missed it, but I don't feel like they show anything like that. It's a very simple meeting. And He enjoys the ber. He says, 'Can I, because I've not been with my mothers for so long, can I lie down in your lap?' But He's just appearing as a human to her. There's nothing special. But what is truly happening is at a much deeper level in the Atma. It doesn't need the outer play or fireworks or any explosions to happen to say, 'Wow, what a great thing has just transpired.'

So it can sound very, very difficult to not even count on inner experiences as evidence of our spirituality. What can I really then count on or hold on to? Nothing. Only the unperceivable. And if you're not cut out for this, then what is Plan B? I will do me, me, me, me, me and die. Nothing. And maybe, I know depending on the culture you believe, then maybe that is it. Or maybe you get a chance again. Me, die. Oh God, God, God, God, God and live. I would like to feel that there's a recursion there somewhere. You can really tell.

So when my kids have time to come and say, 'But it's too difficult, I'm not cut out for this,' so far nobody's given me a good answer. So okay then. Okay, you're not cut out for this, then what is your plan? That much must be seated in you by now, saying there is no reality in this ephemeral appearance. Because Plan B can always be Maya. Can it be anything else? It can always be only that guy in The Matrix who says, 'Yeah, I know it's a program, but at least I can taste this wine and have my steak.' It can only be short-termism in that way, right? Or we can become philosophical and nihilistic or absurdists or start looking for meaning in language, all the various categories of perception. That doesn't go anywhere. It doesn't get us anywhere.

So really, I want to ask all of you—every time I meet all of you, I want to ask all of you, but I'm too polite to ask—I really want to ask: what did you do in your daytime? That is the main question. Was it spent in loving God, in service to God, or was it spent in Maya?

And a lot of my day today was spent in my useless work things. I am happy to be honest about that. Maybe enjoying Maya, the lunch, but thanking God. That's good. Is it to be God?

It's a start, yeah. It's not bad. At least He was in remembrance somewhere.

I think waking up to God in the morning itself, because the thing is if I miss that, then I see that something or the other takes my attention and then I'm not able to spend time with God. But that thing, if it happens, then at least, you know, sets the tone for the day.

So helpful. And this just came in Satsang. I don't know how it came. It came in Satsang and now I see it's everywhere, like Narad Bhakti Sutras, like in many Christian teachers. It's everywhere. Everyone says start your day with God. Wake up to God. So God's grace has been so benevolent to us that so many things that just seem to just show up in Satsang, then you see that there's a lot of depth and possibility in this simple exercise: that don't engage with anything until you remember God deeply. Come to God's presence.