In This Moment Go God Crazy, Don't Want Anything Else - 22nd November 2024

So independent of path, religion, culture, tradition, geography, belief or disbelief, independence to follow all of that is your inner life. The life which is prior to your intellect. That which is prior to your intellect is your temple, is the holy place where God will be found. Or you can say that your own presence, 'I am,' which is not distinct from God's presence, it lives there. To learn how to live here is why we come to satsang. What is your story at this point? Living here at this point, what is your story?

Increase the volume of this a bit. Are you able to hear well at the back? No, it's fine. Maybe, yeah, 24 is usually the right level. Oh wow, check. This is okay. So now we can't be indifferent to what I'm sharing because that would be really strange. You have to either say that this can't be, this is not true, or you have to say that if this is true, then how is it that the way I am leading my life seems to be either fully absent of God's presence or in rare glimpses of being with Him?

So what is needed for me to deepen in the true way of life? Because it's literally the difference between life and death. To lead a life of a zombie is not living. To take yourself to be a bundle of food is not living. And to just clamor for things which will either die themselves or you will go before them, that is not living. So if there is a possibility of meeting the eternal life, the unchanging Atma beyond time and space, the Holy Spirit, then how is it that we live in neglect of this insight even after knowing about it?

I was saying the other day that if Ram Ji came and stood in front of you, eight feet tall, radiant blue skin, enchanting lotus eyes, the most beautiful form of God—not saying that that is the only most beautiful form of God, but the most radiant came in front of you—and you said, 'Yeah, good, good, but you know, I have things to do, so I'll be back later.' And I'm not talking about coming to satsang; I'm saying that He lives right there with you, and in many cases, He's probably your most neglected relationship.

So what happens to us when we even imagine that He is right here with us in the most beautiful sarguna, in the most beautiful form? What happens to us? Something happens. And that is why we visit holy places, pilgrimages, temples—for that reminder. I'm telling you that His reality is much more intimately present with you than any form of perception could ever be. Now what is your next move? Will you say, 'Show me proof,' you see, 'Show me proof,' or will you say, 'I have faith'?

So being free from the torment of Maya is to be free from the idea that He is not with you right now. To live in His presence as a living reality, even if it is purely a question of faith. And many times it will purely be a question of faith, but there is a great power in that faith. There's great immensity in that faith. But is our faith so brittle that one time anything moves in front of us and He is forgotten? Maybe mine is also like that. That is what we have to work on because the instruction after that is simple: stay in the holy place beyond your intellect, using whatever tool to remain empty, to do the inquiry, or to just pray. Just pray, but be in the temple of your heart.

So many of us get stuck in this tiny thing, which is that we look for outer evidence of your inner discovery of truths, either in the form of experiences or in the form of some change happening in your lives. 'Something must change,' you see? But in that, you betray your reality, which is that you still take the outer to be greater than the inner. And I'm saying 'you,' I'm including myself in that. The Atma is speaking to me as well. So we do this. We are still concerned about that which is in the realm of phenomena instead of just being with Him, loving Him with all our heart.

So it's important at least to realize the infection so that we can work on it. The problem is very absurd, but it is immense. It is a forgetting of God Himself, forgetting of being with Him. Our lips may say 'God, God, God,' our concepts may be full of spirituality, but even in that, we may forget Him. See, suppose your partner is sitting with you but you are on the phone and you're just talking about your partner constantly. 'He's like this' or 'She's like this, he's like this, she's like this.' So the whole day you spent on the phone, but you didn't spend any time with your partner. Would that make you a good partner? Would that make you in a good relationship?

So just our lip service about God and our having a lot of concepts about God is not enough. A relationship only deepens by being together. And this relationship is the one to go for, really, before all others. Because what then happens is that if you love Him, then to love your neighbor comes naturally to you. And if you don't love Him, then you can't really love your neighbor. It just can't happen. You may want, you may desire, but you can't truly love without loving God.

So to go beyond the lip service spirituality is to empty yourself of any fancy notions we have about ourselves and make ourselves innocent children available to be present with our Father. Make ourselves the crazy-in-love beloved. So if our relationships are now reflecting our love for God—Kabir Ji said that there is no love without God, and that's a contemplation that we can contemplate for a long, long time—then our loving each other is a very natural reflection of the love which is just permeating our hearts, bubbling forth from our hearts.

So the more time we spend on this relationship, the less attractive phenomena will seem. The more time we spend on phenomena, the less attractive this heart relationship will seem. And if you spend time in His presence, then all that is needed to strengthen your spiritual life is also given to you. Our faith grows by being with Him, our patience grows by being with Him, our courage grows by being with Him. But the problem is only that this movie keeps going on, you know, just keeps going on every moment with a new scene. Now this, now this.

When you notice one thing about the movie, when you're starting to go really deeply in and stay for maybe a minute or an hour or a day, it seems like the movie goes on hyperdrive or some mode, you see? It just gets into like Maya gets into a panic that 'How do we pull this out?' So we just have to learn how to be patient and stay with God and remember to count your spiritual experiences in that Maya as well. Anything that takes you away from that which is prior to your intellect, the holy temple in your heart. That is why all the sages have told us that we must love God for God's sake, not for the sake of His gifts.

Without Maya, what is the problem? Without Maya, what is the problem? No problem. But Maya, that is the only thing in the human condition. Without Maya, there's no problem. All of us in satsang know that. But what about Maya? That is the problem. I wonder if what I'm being led by does not mean that just that...

Well, we can't really say, in the sense that Jesus is exactly, exactly. So what I was about to say is that maybe taking yourself to be just a bundle of flesh, the events by themselves in Maya may even be simpler. So we can't really say, but maybe we invite a lot of struggle as we take this pathway towards God. We can't really see. So all is the will of God, and His will is dynamic. At least from our perspective, we have to call it dynamic. But because He is all-pervasive and across all various possibilities, He only remains. For Him, it's all set, you see? But we can never say that this life was meant to be linear in that way, because for Him, every possibility in time is nothing but.

So from our perspective, we can never determine what turn His will will bring for us. That is why the lives of most sages are full of outer struggle, outer challenges. And that is why our primitive way of looking at that is to say that they are tested in that way, is it? But really, it is just a beautiful process of deepening of faith, of deepening of trust, of learning to remain so beautifully with Him. Or it could be that it becomes a life you spend the rest of your life in a... we can't really say, but He knows best.

The good news is that His love for us is so immense that He could never be doing anything which is less than whatever is the best for us to grow. Could it be possible? It's not possible, isn't it? That's another beautiful line in scripture which says that if your brother asked you for bread, would you give him a rock? So if in our human love also we cannot be so hard-hearted to give a brother a rock in return for a request of bread, then that Divine love who is the source of all love is preparing the best always, every moment for us. It's just not possible any other way, is it possible?

I was asking a mother who came with her son to satsang—maybe you were not there that day—so I said to her, 'What would it be for you to say, "It's all right, just let him suffer a little more than needed"?' It's okay? No chance, isn't it? There's no chance in which she could ever say that, 'Let him just suffer a little more.'

If we return for a request of bread, then that Divine love who is the source of all love is preparing the best always, every moment, for us. It's just not possible any other way. Is it possible? I was asking a mother who came with her son to satsang—maybe you were not there that day—so I said to her, 'What would it be for you to say, "It's all right, just let him suffer a little more than needed, it's okay"?' No chance, isn't it? There's no chance in which she could ever say that, 'Let him just suffer a little more, it's okay.' So if a human mother can't do that, how would our Divine Father do that, Divine Mother do that? And once we really take this lesson to heart and our life becomes so deeply lived in faith, so then the reminder is that whatever He does then is for our good. If we one day truly accept that from our heart, then we find it very difficult to suffer. Then our tears are only tears of love.

Because what is the other alternative? That He does love us so much, but what can He do? He has written everything down now, He's stuck because He was asked for a script and He just gave the script. Now He... it's all... so we must not. Sometimes those things which are meant to elevate us also then can become a constriction. He is the all-powerful one. He is not constricted by anything at all—by time, definitely not. And He's an alive presence here. If I can sit with you and I can notice that you're in pain and I say, 'Brother, come, we'll go for a walk' or 'Let's, I'll buy you a coffee' or something like that, then God who is present with us, He knows in a very alive way what is happening with us. And He's only loving us. He only knows Mercy. He only knows Grace.

And all of this may sound very utopian and absurd, but the thing is that there's so much commonality in the testimonies of all the sages that this is how it is. Somewhere we have to have faith in that. Otherwise, what faith do we have? 'God loves me immensely, He can do anything He wants, but I have to go through what I have to go through.' But I have to go through? He can change anything He wants, but this is a belief that I believe in, which is, 'But I have to go through what I have to go through.' Like, why is there a 'but'? Why is that a 'but'? Why is that not a 'therefore'?

No, I didn't... in the sense is that He loves me deeply, He knows everything every moment of my life, and He has the power to change anything that He wants, and therefore I must just have this faith and go through whatever He gives me. Why is that a 'but'? I still didn't get you. Are we saying that the 'but' implies that I have to go through whatever I have to go through independent of His will for me? Because His will for me is always love and kindness and compassion. So then, therefore, is it not a privilege that we just have to go through the path that He has laid down for us so lovingly? Take some time on this, because the 'but' connotes the idea of something maybe different from what I'm saying.

If we know that the most intelligent one, the most beautiful one, the most loving one, the most powerful one, He is so much in love with me and He is aware of every single moment in my life, and He has the power to change anything without blinking an eye, therefore then this path that He has laid down for me to walk upon must be an extreme privilege, an extreme honor for me to live through. So the idea of the 'but' we can explore. First part is good, but... that's what I'm wondering. Why is that 'but'? It should be 'therefore.' My job is just to walk the next step in His love. Walk the next step in His love. The next step in... that's it. It's a privilege, isn't it? But there you consider yourself...

Yeah, okay, okay. But it's not easy. It's not easy. And whether the path is Bhakti, whether it is Gana, ultimately it is the same. The pull towards the individuality or the narrative, the pull which says, 'But I want it some other way,' it is not easy. Now, do you actually know that the way you want it is better? You don't know. Then why you... suppose that you are deluded and you have no idea what trouble you could cause if you just went your way all the time. Lack of trust is the lack of trust, exactly the point I was making. So how will you change that lack of trust? Is that what you're crying about, that 'I have so much lack of trust'? Is that what you're... good to hear that.

So will the despondency increase our trust? This, like, what is another word? Despair. I feel despair as much as I feel it's more like a repentance.

That this... you feel like a repentance? Okay. So what is the messaging behind it? That 'I don't have the trust.' It's very clear. Okay. And how much repentance will it be? Once is repeated, how many times?

No, Father, I don't feel like it's in a loop or something like that. I don't feel like I'm wallowing in it. But initially the question was, 'But how do I build that trust?' But I feel like you've been answering that question by being with Him. And in this process which is happening with you, are you being more with Him or being less with Him?

Then it's good to you.

So that 'more' is... is it more hard? I'm trying to be with Him, but it's not easy.

Tell me what gets in the way now. Be with Him. Let's be with Him together. That is okay. Together. No, stay, stay. Don't go anywhere. Just stay with me. We're both doing this. Yes. The loser buys the other one ice cream. Yes? Yes or no? I've lost her already. That's exactly what I'm trying to... so let's at least start in a moment where we are both empty.

Feeling too much pressure. The thought now... Father, you're stressing me out. I'm very impatient.

Okay, come. Come now. Because I realize that there's nothing to be done. I don't know what you're doing. Empty. Okay, good. Stay with me. Don't get distracted even by experiences. Nothing at all. All of us can do. The one who picks up the 'me' first buys ice cream for everyone. Huh? Did I lose you in the middle? It may seem tough in the beginning. It's just fresh, fresh. God is with you in your heart. You're just empty, like a little infant surrendered to Him. That's all. Nothing. Don't have to fix anything to resolve.

Okay, so this exercise is an example of that. Just catch yourself out. Just catch yourself out. There's always a moment you catch yourself out. When you're looping, then you're just looping. Those are right thoughts, is it? But we don't loop for too long. We reinvigorate the loop by going back to it over and over again. But try to catch yourself out. And if prayer works for you, then go to your heart temple and pray. If inquiry works for you, then ask yourself who you are. If just observing your thoughts come and go works for you and you remain, then do that.

If you got on the wrong train, how many stations to wait before you get off? We keep living in that hope that maybe this train will get me to the right place, you know? So if we get on the train of ego, we get on the train of 'me,' we must get off as soon as we can. But what we do is we keep hoping that something else will happen, we will not suffer this time. But that train, the train of the 'me,' only leads to suffering. So the first stop, get off. Sometimes to be on any train seems more reassuring, you see. At least I have a plan, at least I know what's happening to me, you see. And you get off, it could be that it seems like you're in limbo. You don't know, you see. So it can seem wobbly, it can seem scary. But just wait to get on the train of the Atma.

The discipleship, the guidance of the Atma is always available to us, you see. But what happens is that when we are caught up in the 'me,' like Ananta said, Maya is 'me.' The 'me' comes and we get caught up in the train of the 'me.' Then maybe when we get off in the station, we have to deepen into our heart, you see. It can't be... it's not a dial-an-Atma service. You can't just say 'now.' Because we would become very complacent and arrogant if it was to happen any other way. 'I just... I know what to do, you see. I'll just be selfish and the minute suffering starts to come, I'll get off, you see, and then Atma is waiting for me to help me, to guide me, to love me.' So that's literally how children get spoiled, you see. So then in the discipleship of the true Satguru, the Atma within, she or he doesn't do that to us.

You want the mic? The question of whether you're on the mic or not should always be answered from the perspective of if you were listening on Zoom. I don't mind, I don't mind. No, no, I'm saying for everyone because I've seen that everyone... no, no, no, I'm okay. But it's not you, it's those who are listening.

So I want to ask, you were saying, like, so even this Kundalini is a spiritual experience, Father? Yes. And what does it mean by to get distracted by it? Like you said, 'Don't get distracted.' What would it be to be distracted?

That if you... you start wondering about what's happening to you, whether it's good for you or not, whether the 'me'... till the 'me' comes. But it's okay, of course it's okay. The attention... attention will naturally go to it. But if the attention is just on spiritual things without any belief or identity, then the other end of attention is also quite apparent.

Yeah. I just want... Father, in the story of Abraham and Isaac, when he was carrying his son to the mountain, did he... what did he have? Any doubt? Or did he go through...?

I can't answer for him. I don't know what it is said in the scripture. But if it was me... I've been contemplating this story for a couple of years, but it's very apparent to me that I'm still at the lack of trust where I would take my son, if I could carry him, and I will run in the other direction of the mountain. That is my faith currently. So any circumstance that we're going through, we can correlate it to the story, for example.

Of course. And we can be happy that the story that we are going through is not that story. We can correlate it, but we can't equate it. But if it feels somewhere like it's so severe or something...

So the question is if it feels that it's so severe, but there's only doubt on the way. But we're trying... the point of the Abraham story, firstly, is that there's hardly any story which is that severe. So if you're feeling it is that severe, then we are also fooling ourselves that way. And we must not do that. To see that an embodiment of faith like Abraham, an embodiment of faith like Shabri, is quantums much more than where we are, you see, is firstly very important because that keeps us humble. And secondly, to say that 'I'm going through one-millionth of what they went through, so if there can be so much love and trust in God, then that one-millionth I should be able to... must.'

Yes, doubt is a part of that process. Of course, nobody has 100% faith. I don't have. That's why I said that if God demanded of me such a thing at this point in my faith, I feel like I would take my kids and run in the other direction. Where can I hide? And that's strange because when I started, I felt like I would not be able to do it, but I did not feel like I was on... then I felt like I'm deepening in that and I may be very, very full of grief and anger and resentment, I may be able to do it. Then it's getting a bit easier and maybe, maybe I will be able to follow. But now I'm looking at myself more objectively and I'm seeing that just 'run' would have been my response. Would I have been able to lead the life of Ma Shabri? No chance, zero chance.

We've spoken about this before, Father. I'm not sure if we know that it's God that is asking for whatever it is from us—favorable, unfavorable, seemingly. If there is the sure knowledge that it is God... if I don't do that, then I probably don't know what I'm doing even so. But how is that even possible if I know it is God?

Exactly. And I understand what God means. Who am I kidding? Then it's just the nature of attachment. The nature of attachment where we just literally, even if God comes and tells us that this is what must be done, we say, 'No, no, I didn't hear it.' That's the easiest. The easiest is nobody in the world heard it, so I can deny it and nobody will catch me out on it, you see, in a different direction. So I go through that, I would say, pretty routinely where...

So, but how is that even possible? If I know it is God exactly and I understand what God means, who am I kidding then? It's just the nature of attachment where we just literally, even if God comes and tells us that this is what must be done, we say, 'No, no, I didn't hear it.' That's the easiest. The easiest is nobody in the world heard it, so I can deny it and nobody will catch me out on it, you see.

In a different direction, so I go through that, I would say, pretty routinely where sometimes that voice asks me to do something and it's exactly what you said. It's like, but the internal feeling is like, 'I'm actually not really sure it's God's voice.' And I think that's where all the...

That's fine. Then we must not move, because the mind is very good at posing. I'm just trying to maybe put a visual to it. If Lord Krishna really came and told me to do whatever I need to do, and I've been believing in Lord Krishna all my life and dying to get his darshan, is it possible that any one of us would not do what he says? If there is no doubt that it is Lord Krishna, so you think it's possible that we may not do?

I can't speak for... no, no, I'm not making a personal question. I'm just saying that for me it's possible. If he said do what Abraham had to do, even if he came inside, run to me, I'm like, 'I'm not looking.' Okay, you can contemplate. And I felt like I would be better at following his will a few years back when I started this contemplation, and I even said that in a few weeks I will work on myself so much that I'll be able to trust God that much. I don't see it has been... what, when was the first time you came, Claudia? Two years? That is when the contemplation started. I don't feel like...

And the real question is that 'really came' is also strange, no? Like it's like saying that if Krishna was here or Ram was here in the physical. But he is actually more really here with us in our heart than the phenomenal really would be. So do I follow? Okay, so let's stretch the argument to this point then: He's always here with us. We can be with him. Do we only follow what he is telling us to do? That's the real crux of it. The extreme examples, of course, make us humble, make us leave our complacency and any spiritual pride that may be building up. But really then the question is that if he's always with us, then are we really living in his hookum, in his will, in his command?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So your point is no, but that's not... I don't know whether there are some... that's why I said that is very important to, if you're not sure, to really wait and to make sure that the guidance is coming from God. So I don't know if in this situation whether those people felt like they're following God's voice or they just, um, just worldly circumstances which led them to do that. But I'm saying that, um, really saying it in the context of my will versus God's will.

Yeah, of course, of course, of course. Life could be really much, much more than we can imagine. Of course, that's true, very true. They are so blessed. I was saying the other day, if our only problems in the satsang, for example, have been somebody's having a tantrum, somebody's upset with me, and the usual upset is 'Father doesn't give me enough attention, Father doesn't give me that,' if that is the biggest problem that we have, then we are so blessed. Because there's so many problems in the world, and if in our sweet family we only have this problem—attention, like awareness is a limited quantity, and children are upset about that from time to time—we have no real problem. Then that is God's grace and we must always be grateful for that, that our life is so simple that this is the only problem that we have. Such a beautiful life God has given us.

Hello. I have a very something similar to this. I was watching a YouTube video a few days back and this incident happened with Satya Sai Baba and Vajpayee, the Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee. So what happened is...

All way beyond my pay grades.

No, no, no, but this incident, incident, yeah. Incident recollected just two, three days back. Somebody sent a video, I just happened to watch. And so when Vajpayee had come to meet Sai Baba, Sai Baba was explaining about, you know, what he should do for the country, education, so many other things. But Vajpayee kept on asking, 'What is Bhakti?' And Sai Baba seemed to ignore it for the time being. He kept on continuing the conversation about nation, this, that. He asked this twice or thrice again, but no change in the flow. And they sat down at a table and a student was, a volunteer was bringing a tray. I don't know what, a cold drink or a juice or something. He was approaching Sai Baba and Sai Baba told that boy, 'Drop it.' And the whole tray the student dropped then and there without thinking twice whether it is a hot cup of coffee or, you know, the Prime Minister is there, if it spills on him what will happen. No second thought. And he dropped it. And so then Sai Baba immediately told him, 'See, that is Bhakti.' You know, without a second thought, 'What will happen to me? What will be the consequence? How will I face?' There is no 'I' there, only the Guru, Lord is there. So that is the only thing there. And the student didn't even think twice. And the reason why I brought this up is I have seen a few cases, at least one for sure, where the teacher asked the student, 'Will you do everything, anything which I say?' And I wrote it to you on WhatsApp as well. And this disciple, whom I also know is a good friend of mine, he said yes. And what happened next was something terrible which, anyway, I wrote to you. So now this question also comes, um, yeah, some gurus might, you know, misuse that. All right, but anyway, coming back to this question...

My guess is it's a very important point, and if I may say some things on this. It's very important, right? The minute a teacher of God, the Guru, forgets that they're a mere instrument—and I'm not at all speaking of Satya Sai Baba, I'm just speaking in general terms—but if a teacher of God forgets that they are a mere instrument in this worldly play of God and they just presume that in their life now that duality of true insight of being united or being the same as the Absolute reality, but still the lingering tanmatra of the egotism, the tiniest element of egotism still plays out. If we get in denial of, in fact, either aspect of those, then we start going on the wrong path. And that is exactly what happened with Ravan, where he started relying so much on past experience, past insight. His spiritual experiences made him proud of himself and he thought that what he saw is that he is God, which is true, but he forgot that there's an aspect of him which still continues to play in that lila, which is that he is nobody, he's nothing. So when we conveniently in our pride forget about that 'me' which still lingers, we deeply deny for ourselves the clear seeing that I still have an ego, I still have self-concern, I still have self-image. And then we put ourselves on a pedestal above our brothers and sisters and say that my word has to be followed because it can never be wrong because it came from me. Then that is a pathway to big trouble.

Secondly, I have to also say that God blesses us with insight, with the truth, with the recognition of unity as one, but God is still... no sage can ever claim godhood. And this may be controversial to say in India at least, but no teacher of God, no sage, no saint can ever claim godhood because that would be to say that we can present life, we can take away life, and we can give life where there isn't any. But only God can do that. We can bless, we can give the light of Atma to each other, but no sage, no saint can do that. We can bless our brothers and sisters, we can bless our children that may they receive the light of the spirit, may they receive the light of Atma, but no Guru can guarantee saying that 'I pick you and you will have Atma Darshan or Atma Gyan.' It is just not possible, you see. But God could. So till the sage can say that 'I can look at you and say that I gift you the light of spirit because it is my privilege to do that, I have control over where spirit reveals itself,' till then they cannot claim any godhood. Till that point. And that is the key point actually. And everybody knows clearly in our hearts that that privilege, that honor is only God's. We can bless, we can pray together, we can provide all the tools, but if any teacher says that 'I can determine for you whether you will have Atma Darshan or Atma Gyan,' I would really question that very, very, very deeply. And I don't feel like I've come across many sages who do that. So that distinction always remains between God or God's incarnations and any teachers of God.

Yeah, so that is one aspect of what I wanted to say, that that is the Dharma of the teacher. And it is a great adharma if we take on godhood for ourselves. It's a great adharma. And maybe it seems like there is no consequence of that adharma in this outer world, but when the true meeting comes one day, like Hanuman Prasad said, when you meet Kabir one day, you have to be ready with the answer. So that aspect is very important. So that is the Dharma of the teacher: to recognize their limitations, to recognize that they are mere humble servants of God. That is very, very, very important. On the other hand, the Dharma of a disciple is to follow the teacher to the best of their ability till the point that their heart doesn't stop them, you see. If their Antar Atma is calling out to them saying, 'You're going in the wrong way,' then we must bring that up, you see. You must bring that up to the teacher and say that, 'You're saying this on the outside, but my insides are just rebelling against that. So is it my pride which is rebelling or is it my true Antar Atma, the true voice of the spirit within which is rebelling? Can you just help me clarify this?' And if the teacher is not open to that kind of conversation, then again somewhere it smells of pride, you see.

But till that point where a disciple feels like they're not... their Atma is not in sync with instruction they're getting on the outside, it is the Dharma of the disciple to follow. And but imagine that, imagine like what you told me brought tears to my eyes because I could have easily gone in that direction, you know. I could have easily got into that pride, gone in that direction where I would have felt like every word that comes from this mouth is like the gospel truth and the word of God. But Grace prevented that from happening so far at least, and we have to always be aware of that possibility that it could happen in the future and keep ourselves humble and at His feet as beggar servants, just mere instruments. So these things are very strong. Humility is really, really the only safety that we have on this path. Because imagine that... I was of course in tears for the student, but also I was in tears for the teacher, that what is the kind of adharma that a teacher like that would end up doing in the pride of Ravan without realizing? And how is it that such authentic teachers, authentic insights, authentic spiritual paths which start with so much beauty, then because of this animal of pride, then get completely convoluted and misguided and misdirected? So we must pray both for the teacher and the disciples of this teacher based on the report that you sent me. May God bless them with that buddhi, may they lead them in the right direction.

And unfortunately the world is full of these stories from times immemorial. Pride is, pride is the infection which can contaminate true, the truest spirituality. One more question: Is it also... I think somewhere Nisargadatta Maharaj or Papaji says this, that true surrender cannot happen from our effort, it happens... even that happens through Grace. Is that...

Of course, everything good. So if you look at it, what can we really do? So we say, 'Okay, I'm going to inquire.' So what can we really do? We can ask the question, 'Who am I?' We can ask it sincerely, we can take our time to ask the question. Even in that, mostly God has to create the circumstances.

True spirituality. One more question: Is it also—I think somewhere Nisargadatta Maharaj or Papaji says this—that true surrender cannot happen from our effort? It happens, even that happens through Grace. Is that of course everything good?

So if you look at it, what can we really do? So we say, okay, I'm going to inquire. So what can we really do? We can ask the question 'Who am I?' We can ask it sincerely. We can take our time to ask the question. Even in that, mostly God has to create the circumstances, all of that, for it to happen. Every movement of this is God ultimately. But I'm saying that suppose that we said that, yes, I'm taking out the time and doing the inquiry 'Who am I? Who am I?' sincerely. 'Who am I?' Is there any mechanism with which we can force the insight to reveal itself? Is there any lever like that? Is there anything that we have even close to our control? We have no such mechanism.

So the emergence of love, the emergence of joy, peace, true insight—everything that is valuable, surrender of course is the most valuable—has to be by God's grace. But we have to... that's why the story of Krishna lifting the Govardhan with his tiny finger and yet the villagers coming with their sticks to help him is a very important one. Is it that Krishna needed them? No, he didn't. But was it important that they came? It was, you see. So whatever we feel like... why was it important? Yeah, so whatever we feel like is under my control, that we must do. In the sense that sometimes we come to a very convenient spirituality where the instant we become spiritual, we say everything God has to do. But when we go to work, we say, 'Okay, have you done your work properly?' if you're a manager, you see.

So we are presuming doership and we are also making our own plans and saying we should do this. So all that doership is still there. But if you come to a convenient spirituality and say, 'No, no, but I can't do,' you see? So unless it's truly authentic that we drop doership in every aspect of our life and we are not making anyone else feel guilty, we're not saying 'You should have done this,' we're realizing that God is the only doer truly, then that is surrender anyway, you see. So till then, we should not say that only now my sadhana God only has to do, he only has to do. But you have to put the step, you see. He will do. It's important that both come into play together, you see.

And there are many, many subtle things about this that as you explore deeper, you will see that really love would not be love if it was forced. Like if I was forced to deepen in my relationship with God, then am I really doing it out of love? Then what joy would God get out of such a forced relationship by those who are his children? So these things are way beyond our intellect to really fathom, but we can just draw some broad strokes so that we have an overall lay of the land.

But I don't think I would have taken to spirituality without suffering.

Same, same, same, same, same. Most of us turn to God because of suffering. I was an atheist before suffering came. For most of my childhood, I was an atheist. So all of us should always remember that in front of God, in front of the Atma within, we are just little children. If you ever become proud and we say that we have mastery over the true Satguru, the holy presence, the Atma, then that is the doorway to a lot of strife, a hellish existence, and we must not wish that on anybody.

So when I heard what you sent to me, when I read it, I was so grateful that a lot of pride has played out in my sharing of twelve years, but by God's grace, it did not come close to that extent which you mentioned about. And for that, I'm so grateful to God because when you embark on this journey on pride, you don't know where you end up. You don't realize. So it's like an 'I' saying... and people took the example of Durvasa Rishi and all of that. She said if you can bring people back to life, then you are allowed to get angry. In the same way, only compare yourself to godhood if you can say that Atma follows my command. And I hope that no human ever says that because that would be very, very stupid. Then all the great sages would have said, 'You, you, you, you, Atma, act like that.' So only Ram Ji, Lakshman Ji, Krishna Ji, Jesus, all of them could say that. Jesus said that after I go, another teacher will come for you, and in the Pentecost, all forty of them got the blessing of the light of the Holy Spirit, the Atma within. Only he could do that, you see.

One more question, yes. Here at one place Papaji says—I'll just quote it—'If you want eternal rest, if you want the state of real silence, then you have to be choiceless.' Can you please comment on that? I have to ask Papaji. Can you repeat what you said right there?

Yeah, yeah. He says right, he says, 'If you want eternal rest, if you want the state of real silence, then you have to be choiceless. As long as you choose and strive, this experience of your true nature will be hidden from you.' Yeah, what's he saying?

Yes, he is talking about... and I can speculate, I can't claim to read Papaji's... the depth of Papaji's words. But when you find yourself in that holy place, in that samadhi, in that emptiness, you see that you're just moved by God's grace. You're just moved by God's light, and that is to follow his will by being with him. The sense of agency, the sense of volition seems to all dissolve over there. So he's talking about the experience of such a deep state. And you see, so what we have to remember is unless we truly become choiceless in every aspect of our life—money, relationship, work, health of the body, all of these things—then don't use a convenient Advaita excuse of non-doership to not do sadhana. Is this working now? Yeah, yeah, it's working. Thank you, thank you.

So start with your relationships, be choiceless there. Then with your work, money situation, all of that, surrender to God. Last, last, give up on your sadhana also. That is the first one actually right now, but that's what... it's like Bhagavan giving the instruction of inquiry to someone and the one who hears the instruction says, 'But who's there to inquire?' See the irony of that? There will come a point where maybe the disciple can ask that, but if Bhagavan has just given the inquiry to one, it must be for that particular level of maturity that is what is needed. So always presume that we are at a lower spiritual maturity than what our mind claims you are at, not a higher one.

Right, right, Father. Yes, yes. Sorry, I couldn't find the hand raise button. No problem. Has it gone? Oh, it's here now. Here you can see, you can see. Well, I didn't have anything in mind to share, but I just wanted to come up.

Of course. Gabriel has my full prayers, full blessings for whichever path God chooses for him to be as painless as possible, as free of suffering as possible. Thank you for loving him so much and taking care of him so much. To take the responsibility of being a parent to... without eyesight is not an easy task. So it's beautiful, the seva that you've done.

To be honest, I could be better.

Yeah, that's true. That's true for all of us. True for all of us.

He's taught me a lot about patience and understanding. And you know, his behavior has been such that it's been very erratic, and not knowing that it was caused from brain issues created a lot of impatience in me. And it made me realize that we don't know what everyone's going through. We don't know how God made people. We don't know what they've been through and we don't know what they're made of. And to judge another is just ludicrous. And there's just so many unseen forces that we don't know about. And I know that he's shown me that just because you can't see everything in somebody, they never deserve judgment or impatience. And he's taught me that. And also by God's grace, I've learned that too, you know, that by the way I've been treated sometimes, how that feels.

So yeah, in the security of God's love is the only security for us in this human condition. Everything pushes us to that, you know. Yeah, yeah. And if the only message that any of you remember from today's satsang would be that God loves you so deeply, then that would be the whole time spent would still be worthwhile. For no matter our mistakes, no matter our mistakes, no matter... because he's present with us and he's taking care of us every moment.

So if our intellect was larger, we wouldn't need faith. So he's made our intellect just the right size so that we pick up the greater gift of faith. If our intellect was smaller also, we wouldn't need faith. You know what I mean? Like if the intellect was really small, then we don't need faith, we're not even trying to understand. But because we make an attempt to understand, we have the ability to ask the big questions, but we don't have the ability to compute them in our heads. That is why we need to rely on the deeper force of faith.

Now to the mind, faith sounds like Hocus Pocus business—whatever is irrational, you just say faith and you just follow. It's not like that. Faith is that which your heart is clear about. There's a clear insight from the intuitive instrument. And the essence of Vedanta, the essence of any true spirituality, but especially Vedanta, is to learn to come to the true light of seeing in the intuitive insight as opposed to empirical means. Sorry about the jargon, I've been catching up with Swami Satchidananda Saraswati since we spoke about him. So the whole path is based on that, how to go to that deeper place.

And we talk about the question 'Who am I?' No answer from the intellect will be satisfactory. The Atma Gyan, the Atma is from a deeper place. So in that deeper place, we know how much he loves us. We know that he is here. We know that he's taking care of us every moment. And then fear is ejected to a great extent out of our lives. And with the ejection of fear, then all its friends like anger and frustration and all of these things also become much more mild.

Yes, to have the only being, or another way to look at it is the greatest being in the universe, to know that he loves us, he loves me, is a great gift. And that's when these examples of... would a mother ever say, 'Oh, let my child suffer in pain for a little bit longer, it's all right'? So if a human mother would not say that, then how would our Godly mother say that? Or the example of if a brother asked for bread, would you ever give him a stone or a rock? If our human love would not allow us to do that, then how is it that we doubt our prayers to God being answered? That simple example is so supremely powerful, isn't it? How would we ever feel that our prayers are not being answered or heard?

Now the question to ask ourselves is: Do you want your prayer to be answered even if it is to your detriment? Nobody wants that, isn't it? And who can tell whether it is for our good or our detriment? Only he can tell, and that needs faith again. So to know that our prayers are being heard and answered, but we don't know even what to pray for. So we are so, so blessed that the Supreme intelligence then takes care of that foolishness that we have. It's just such a privileged life for all of us. And I don't mean privileged in a bad way, I mean such a great honor to be living this life.

Yes, because we must never fall into the trap that God is forced to be like this with us, like it's entitlement or something like that. It's all by his design. Even Maya is his Mahamaya. It pinches us only to the right extent for us to grow. We must always remember it's an honor, it's a privilege that he has kept us. He's kept himself in our hearts and us in his heart. Yeah, so may we be blessed by remembrance and not by forgetfulness. Only in forgetfulness do we suffer.

Will you try this experiment with me for the whole of next week or till whenever we meet next? Just remember God as much as possible by his name, by his leelas, by his actions, by reading words that remind you of him, by listening to satsang, by listening to bhajan. Just as much remembrance of God as possible. Then tell me at the end of that week whether you suffer, because to remember...

And us in his heart, yeah. So may we be blessed by remembrance and not by forgetfulness. Only in forgetfulness do we suffer. Will you try this experiment with me for the whole of next week, or till whenever we meet next? Just remember God as much as possible by His name, by His leelas, by His actions, by reading words that remind you of Him, by listening to satsang, by listening to bhajan. Just as much of remembrance of God as is possible. Then tell me at the end of that week whether you suffer, because to remember Him is to be with Him. That's all it takes. So beautiful. Swami Ram said God is the only thing you will attain—'thing' I'm using loosely—but the only thing you will attain just by turning towards it. Everything else you have to do so many other things for; just by turning towards it, you can't attain. And God you can. So just remember, just be with Him. Follow the paths that your teacher has given you.

Even saying the prayer, I feel I forget. Yes, like when it's just mechanical, it feels mechanical.

Yes, but it's still better than zero. Just His name is better than zero, and much better than zero.

Just feel like, um, like less fear, you know? Less fear and less anger and, um, just a letting go. And, um, even with the trials, just more of an ability to surrender that and not be fearful. And really diving deep into, you know, what is God's love like? What does that even mean? And knowing that I can't possibly really know.

Yes, that a deeper knowing is always going to be about faith and not capturable by intellect. Yeah. Yes, and yet, you know, like we know, and we start to value that ineffable knowing so much, even though it's... sometimes when people ask you what is happening to you, you're not able to say. But in your heart, you value it so much. You feel, really feel, that you're found. You're not lost anymore. Just in that ineffable reassurance in our heart. And it's bizarre to find something that you can't find, really. That's the whole mystery of this spiritual quest. Yes, it's really all absurd, makes no sense, and yet we are blessed that it is true. Very good, very...

I love you, Father.

Love you too, my child, always. Nothing at all to be sorry about. So it's all right, it's all right. You had a minute to listen to the question? That was fine. No, no, I... so he said that he started his spiritual journey in 2015 and he had quite a bit of a spiritual crisis, which happens often, but he's doing much better now and deepening in faith so much. One question he had was in terms of brahmacharya, or chastity, or celibacy in spirituality. What is its value? Is it important?

So it is very important to be guided by the Atma on this topic. There is value in it; it is helpful. But you will know in your heart when it is right for that. Now, that of course can't become an excuse where we say, 'No, no, he said wait till your heart tells you.' It's not like that. So you must constantly be watching. You must constantly be vigilant to the direction of the heart, and it will lead you in the discipleship. As you deepen, if that is something that is needed on your part, then you will know in your heart. Let's go to K.

Hello, Father. Thank you. You're right about my inability to multitask, but I'm with you. I'm with you now.

I know, I know, I know you're with me, and I feel you here.

I also put my hand up because I feel there's a lot of arrogance maybe creeping in. And that, I think, there is a sense that I need help, but there is also a sense that I deserve help because of, I guess, the living situation that you put on us. It's nothing now dramatic, or Anna is good. The children are back; they're not back in Romania. They went to Romania with their father for a month, so I had a bit of time for myself, which I feel I don't spend very wisely also. And nothing seems to be appealing in the manifesting way. Nothing seems to be manifesting... no, no, nothing seems to be appealing in the manifest.

That's good. I don't know if it's good or not. I don't even know if I want to be here or somewhere else, the unmanifest. But is the unmanifest appealing?

It is appealing, but sometimes it feels distant, so, and unable or... yeah, I don't know.

The lack of appeal in the manifest leads to a more appeal of feeling more drawn to the unmanifest. So use this as an opportunity. If the world is not looking so attractive, then just dive in as much as you can into that which is beyond the world. And there are times neither feels appealing, but even then we must endeavor to keep praying, to keep on our sadhana so that we remain... we try to come closer to God, deepen our relationship with God. What is your primary pathway to be with God? Is it to be empty? Is it to just stay...?

I pray to be empty.

To be empty is also very good. It's very good. All prayer is to be empty of 'me' so that I can be with God. Yeah, so good. But I hope that for most of you who've been in satsang long enough, you're able to say that this is presently my pathway to God that I'm using on a daily basis to let go of Maya as much as possible and to be with God. Because that is when true spirituality happens. The magic happens only when we practice that, when we apply that into our life. The magic of being empty to ourselves and being in God's presence is the greatest magic that any of us will ever experience, and we must not waste any time away from that beautiful possibility. So I'm glad that you are clear that your pathway is that one, and now it's just a question of application.

You trust your path. That's one thing that sometimes I feel like, like maybe my faith and devotion have decreased. I don't know if I can say this.

Pathway of being empty... does that... what happens? What is that time like when you're empty of grasping onto thoughts, when you're just open and empty? Then what? You don't have to have an experience, but does your heart tell you that that is auspicious for you?

Yes, it tells me that, and then it seems it's not enough.

It tells you that also, or is that the other friend that comes and says, 'Your heart is saying it's quite auspicious, but is it really enough?' So be careful of that so-called friend; he's not your friend. So just... if your heart tells you that it's not enough, then that's a conversation, but I doubt that your heart is telling you so. If you're spending time...

Maybe I think it's also that I had different depths of spiritual experience and, um, maybe I don't know, my mind tries to match or tries to aim for something or which it doesn't know and it cannot know.

Don't leave fresh God for some memory of past experience of God. It's like Ram Ji is sitting with you right now. Would you say, 'You know, that Ram from three weeks back was more deep'? Would you do that? Would you do like Jesus is here with you now, 'Thank you, Jesus, but you know, the one that... how you appeared to me one year back'?

Yeah. And it's good what the brother before said about Papaji, because I was actually listening to satsang recently and he said to someone, 'Be choiceless' or something. And then you had no choice in the matter. It's maybe this theory of the mind.

So upon hearing that, you said, 'Let me make the choice to be choiceless'?

Yeah, I think this is what the lady in satsang with Papaji actually said. Yes, I pray for this choice to be choiceless. What to do, what to do? I really don't know and I'm...

No, you know, when I said, 'Are you clear about your pathway to God?' it seemed quite clear. You just have to apply. You just have to follow that. Don't dig wells midway and then leave them and start digging a new well. If you're digging this well, which is a beautiful well, then keep at it. Once you've kept at it with full commitment for a few years, then we can see. We can look at whether it has worked, not worked, what has happened. But that is the kind of commitment that every pathway to God needs.

Yeah, maybe that's something that when I say I lost faith and devotion, in a way that impacts my commitment.

Yeah, and that is the way of Maya, to keep pulling us out of our commitment. That's why all the satsangs are available. We're still meeting in spite of this so-called break. So just to remind ourselves together to remain on the path.

Yeah. You don't have a shortcut or shorter remedy?

I don't have for myself. I don't have for myself. Just Guruji says he has shortcuts. It's very Zen because it's the shortest path in the moment, but when looked upon as a life, then there's an ever-deepening in every life.

Can you repeat that?

Yeah, so actually in the moment it's the shortest path. Just be empty right now. There's no distance, there's no path. But when we look upon it as if from the length of looking at a life, then all the sages will admit that it's a process of ever-deepening, ever-growing love, ever-sweetening, ever-deepening inside. Yeah, because this is when you said just stick to the path and something came to say that maybe... how to do that continuously, I guess?

Bring your timer out. You were planning to do one timer. What was it? What was it? I have to look. I bought an iWatch once because we were... have some space. Kids are away for a month. Dedicate this month to your sadhana.

I'm trying, I'm trying, but I'm not doing a good job.

It's all right. All of us are not doing a good job. I would rather do a much better job than I'm doing also. It's all right. I would be suspicious if somebody said to me, 'I'm praying really well.' But once we see that you're not doing a good job, it's all right as long as the effort is to... commitment is to do it, to do better. It's fine.

I'm really confused about this commitment just because this arrogance of... and I see there is this on this side. Yeah, I'm not taking his job, let's say. Like there is this resistance, not that I'm undecided, huh?

I'm not taking his job. I see. I was probably going to say something similar, which is that firstly, it is a blessing that we can see our arrogance. Like, most of us can't really see our pride. So if you're able to say that 'I see my pride,' that itself is a great blessing. Now, once you see your pride, to rush to God, to surrender, to bow down in humility, to remember that we are nothing, tiny beggars in front of Him, is very important. So either we do that for ourselves, or then life squeezes the arrogance out of us. So that is the seeming choiceless choice that we have to make. Oh, Father comes and reminds us. Thank you. How are you? Are you feeling good now?

I'm good, right. Thank you.

Okay, let's go to Sharad. You know what you should do before Sharad says anything? Just in this moment, go God crazy. Don't spend time on anything else. Yes, life gives you so many of these moments. Just, 'I'm Yours, God. I belong to You.' Even if it feels mechanical, it's all right, because you'll waste your time judging whether it's mechanical, not mechanical. Don't do that. Just use that time to just as much... if you're feeling it, not feeling it, don't worry about it. Just you have to offer yourself crazy. That's crazy in love. So don't waste moments. Don't waste time getting bored and things like that. Just whether we say contemplating God or His essence in our heart, or we see loving Him deeply in our heart, or being with God just naturally in a very beautiful, relaxed way. So whether there is fervor or whether it is relaxed, don't worry about any of that. Just make it about Him. Like waiting for your turn to come, don't be anxious about whether the turn will come, what you will say, none of that. Just it's time for you to spend with God. Nothing to say, Father? Thank you. Go to S.

Hi, Father. I also started here with something to say, but then it's turned into nothing to say.

Yeah, it feels good in your heart like that? It feels good.

I was looking at this, if there's any hiding or... like sometimes the impulse... it was on this Abraham story. I wanted to... I just couldn't resist. Like when the other gentleman spoke after you, I felt also I want to join the conversation in some way because I felt like what he was saying, I also feel. I would love that. Like, I would really love that to be true. And may God give me the...

It's a beautiful thing to say, but then it's turned into nothing to say. Yeah, it feels good in your heart like that. It feels good. I was looking at this, if there's any hiding or like sometimes the impulse... it was on this Abraham story. I wanted to, I just couldn't resist. Like when the other gentleman spoke after you, I felt, 'I want to join the conversation in some way' because I felt like what he was saying, I also feel. I would love that. Like, I would really love that to be true, and may God give me the humility to accept that as well. That it is very possible that some of you have a deeper surrender than I ever mean. That if God came and said that you have to bring your son up to this mountain for him to be sacrificed, that if you knew in your heart it is God, you would follow. That's a beautiful surrender, and I bless that with all my heart, with everything that I have. It's very, very good. Very happy to hear if that is your testimony. I'm very happy, very, very happy to hear. Okay, let's go to Aniko.

Thank you so much, Ananta Ji. I just would like to ask you for a prayer, for praying for Devas. He is one of your sons, a God-child who is sometimes here. You know him, Devas. And his father passed away this morning. I just would like to ask just to pray for his soul, and for Devas as well, and for his mother please. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing this. I was not aware of this. Thank you. I thank you so much. Love you so much. Let's go to Adrian.

Namaste, Father. I haven't spoken with you for quite some time in satsang. I feel like sharing something. Sometimes I observe that moods and feelings are somehow independent from what I believe in mentally. They like, they come and go. They move and change sometimes without my... independent of what I believe in. So it's like there are another layer somehow.

Yes, very much. Very much. In fact, as you're noticing, very good. You're noticing this very good. You'll notice that in all our subtle layers of our existence, there are things which keep moving which are quite independent of each other. And you will see that when there's a feeling but it's not accompanied by a story, it's easier to manage. It's easier to not get attached. When there's a narrative but doesn't have too much feeling accompanying it—contraction and even pride or any of that—then it's easier to handle. But Maya plays this game often where both seem to be coordinated, and when they are coordinated, it seems very strong to us mostly.

So I used to joke about this and say, like, I grew up playing these video games, these tiny ones that you would hold in your hand and play. One of the popular ones was called Donkey Kong. I don't know if some of you are old enough to remember that. But so, what would happen is that sometimes in that Donkey Kong, what would happen is that the obstacle would be coconuts. So you could duck the coconuts. And sometimes the obstacle would be, in some levels, the obstacle would be barrels which are rolling down, so you jump over the barrels. But when the difficulty levels got more, then you would have coconut, barrel, barrel, coconut, all coming together, and that was very difficult to manage.

So that is... it is similar to our life. Independently, if feelings are arising, they're easier to just allow them to linger for a bit and let them go. If thoughts are coming but there's not so much contraction and feeling-level thing, then it's easier to let them go. But when they seem to be coordinated, when Maya plays like that, then it seems much more difficult to manage. But it's very good to just see the subtleties of our existence and see how these sensations, energy movements... how are they perceived? In which way are we perceiving them? It's a very helpful contemplation because it helps to create a distance between that who is watching, seeing. It's very... yeah.

For example, sometimes in the past I noticed that maybe sometimes someone would say something to me and I got hurt emotionally. And even after letting go of the judgment or the mental thing, you know, like the ideas about myself, the hurt feeling kept lingering, you know? And all I could do is just let it linger. Even if I didn't identify so much with what... or maybe it wasn't like you say sometimes, that we give words to certain feelings that are more like undescribable or something like that.

That's right. No feeling... actually, the words are very limited compared to what we experience at the level of sensation. So we just make some very broad statements about what we are experiencing because we don't actually experience the same thing twice. But because language can't be that broad, we have to say... we have to use broad terminology. Anyway, I feel the main point is that even if you feel that mentally you're empty of that concept, but the feeling of hurt is still there, if some feeling emerges, it's a good excuse to just return to God's presence, His refuge, and allow Him to take care of you. Yeah, looking at these as opportunities rather than problems. It's a reminder for us to return to God and to remain in His presence.

Yes, yes. And if I also can share another thing, I have felt for many years like a certain heaviness. Like, I felt like you know that character Atlas who is carrying the world on his back? Atlas, yeah. I feel like that for many years. I don't know why exactly, but something happened last evening. I don't know, suddenly I started feeling very light, like, and much broader. And somehow like God's hand has picked me up out of my life, my personal... you know, I walked outside of my... actually, I didn't walk. It wasn't dependent on what I did. It was more like Grace, you know? Grace. And yes, I'm happy, I'm peaceful. And you know, I've been quite through some strong things in the past. I've been to mental hospital a few times and I've been taking psychiatric medicine for a long time. And I'm amazed how Grace can be so kind. And I am grateful for all the things that I've been through because they helped me to be more humble and more to appreciate God's presence, to have faith. And yeah, I remember at one time many years ago, when I was going through difficult things inside, I could feel like this is going to take a long time to get out of. So I have to be patient in the sense that I can't demand release from these things.

And it's very nice. I'm so, so happy to hear this report. And you said it very well, to have that insight that this needs a lot of patience and to just be committed to the path patiently. It's very helpful. And God's Grace may bless you so much. And I'm so happy to hear that the burden is lifted. Very, very... may it be so. May it be lighter and lighter. Thank you, thank you.

And thank you, thank you so much. And one theme that lately has come to my attention a lot is my attachments. You know, attachments to especially my attachment to my childhood and the home that I grew up in. I also live now in this apartment and some things have happened like that affected the integrity of the apartment, like from the neighbors, floods and things like that. And it really brought like... I'm so attached to this, to have a good home, you know? And you know, I don't know how easy it would be to be like homeless, you know, and still have faith in God if all these things would be taken away from me, like my apartment or my material comforts. You know, it's...

I understand. Yeah, just allow God to take care of that. Don't make that a new burden. Just remain empty and trust as much as you can. The one who has taken care of all those difficulties and now brought you into this place will take care of this also. Be patient with this also. Yeah.

Thank you. And if one more thing I wanted to share with you related to this unburdening that I felt since last evening. I somehow was curious and checked on my phone the position of the sun in the astrological sign, and I noticed that it transitioned into Sagittarius last evening. And I felt like maybe, I don't know, it has some connection with this. I sometimes... I mean, I don't really believe everything I read about astrology or things like this, but sometimes I see some synchronicities and some accuracy that is quite powerful.

I see. I have some even better news for you, which is that the greatest Sun of the universe has come into your heart. So that is the best house for Him to come to. He controls all the other things. He... what everything means, what everything stands for, all of that. So you're going straight to the source. Straight to the source. If something works... let's say that astrological charts work. In India, they're very, very popular and people are deeply, deeply invested in them. Let's say that they work. Could they work by themselves? No, they couldn't work by themselves. They must be getting... whatever is happening must be coming from God's Will, from His light. So if you keep going towards His direction, then all your charts, all your boxes will always have the right planets. So all this, every one of these sciences, if they have some potency—and of course with God's Will everything can have potency—but it can only happen from the Source willing it to be that way. So yeah. Yeah, so just allow yourself to use this to be grateful to Him more and more and to say that, 'Thank you so much for taking care of this life and this world.' So good. Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay, let's go to Som.

Hello, Father. Can you hear me well? Yeah, I'm waiting with bated breath to hear what you will say next, especially because you have a smile on your face. Very happy. Yeah, just... I know that they, Father, it just comes and visits me. We were together before all the time, now it just comes time to time before retreats. I know that, like especially after Guruji talks about vasana, I just realized that yes, it just comes and visits me. And I was not aware that it was vasana. When it comes, it was immediately me. But now I know it's just a voice and it's just a wave, big wave. Always same in this... I always speak in the same tone, same sentences, same everything, same... yeah. It's went to sleep now, not here. But yeah, and it just attacks you and Guru and yeah, all the time same thing. You know, just does the same thing. But thankfully this time, thanks to you, your patience, everything, Father, this time I could see it is something. So we will see next time. No, next time, no, we will... if it comes. But Father, maybe I want to bring something which takes me, related with that also, and I want to bring this to you. It's like, okay, this is something about being something in this world. So yeah, this is something which so much shame comes. My family background, like they did not study, it's just so much shame. And I did not study it, and I was quite okay with that. I have self-confidence anyway, I was not care. But recently it just comes up and it's like I'm wasting life, I'm wasting myself, something like this, you know? Like I want to do something, I don't know. It's just so... I'm confused about this thing. It's like I want to do something in life and yeah, at least I just wanted to open this up because it's really just so much here recently.

Yes. Yeah, I can tell you from my example that most of my family, most of my relatives, they feel that I wasted my life. That I have wasted my life because as a child they used to feel like I'm some sort of genius or something like that. And my father did really well for himself, you know? He came from a very small village and made a big name for himself all over the country and all of that. So they were hoping that his son would also have some great capabilities and things like that. But now when I meet them, they very sweetly...

For example, most of my family, most of my relatives, they feel that I wasted my life. That I have wasted my life because as a child they used to feel like I'm some sort of genius or something like that. And my father did really well for himself, you know? He came from a very small village and made a big name for himself all over the country and all of that. So they were hoping that his son would also have some great capabilities and things like that. But now when I meet them, they very sweetly say—I mean, they don't mean it sweetly, but they try to say it sweetly—saying, 'Are you basically just doing satsang these days or are you also doing some work?' So they feel like this one has really wasted his life.

Father, you have company. You are working. Not same.

I'm working right now because Gara needed some help with the company that she built over the last so many years. And like so much inferior also here, you know?

Yeah, I can understand.

But if it helps, I'm basically like an unpaid consultant in that role. And really the idea is to just help her because she's been working so hard for so long that she got burnt out and started having a lot of anxiety and struggle. So I said that I will—'Please try and take a break.' But her break is like five times my amount of working anyway. So it is a little bit hard to try and help her in that process. But compared to what people thought my life would be, in the kind of position, the kind of fame, the kind of money I would make, my life is not lived up to a tiny bit of that also. And you know, these things are not empirical; they're relative. It's always relative to expectation, isn't it? So you see that. Okay, so when I'm saying to you, it may sound like, 'Oh, but this is so much better in the world than I am' and things like that, but it's all conceptual. It's all relative to what we expect to be. But the greater point I wanted to make with that story is that suppose that you made some of your life in the world, now what would that highest be?

I think just get over this inferiority, Father. I mean, I don't care so much about what I have outside, but within me, I cannot get over the inferiority. Inferiority in the sense that when the inferiority says in your mind that you are inferior, what does it consider to be superior? I think it's something cultural, Father. Like so much about my country, the people's expectation. Like, you know, when they see me, because of Guru, they see me very beautiful. I can feel it, you know? But their way of speaking, even in the spiritual environments here, so what do you do then and there? I was like, and I have nothing.

If you said, 'I love God,' what would they say? In the middle of all the world and everything that's happening there, when they ask you, 'So what do you do actually in real life?' if you were to say, 'I just sit and love God,' what would they say?

I think it depends. If I come from strength, they cannot say anything. If I come from this place, I don't know what will happen.

Yeah, so my recommendation would always be that come from humility, but be truthful. And if they consider you inferior, it's all right. We don't have to—that doesn't change what God feels about us. But we must always bless them because if they are judging brothers and sisters based on money or status or work and all of that, then God has to bless them because they are just not using this opportunity truly for what it is meant for. And we have to pray to God because may they get a beautiful opportunity to turn towards God, turn towards humility. And I realize fully that most of them don't care about it. They're like, 'No, I'm fine, my life is good.' But being in God's presence, we realize what it is not to live with Him. And would you wish that on anyone at all?

Sorry, Father, I missed you.

Would you wish that after being in God's presence, being in satsang, being in His light, would you wish a Godless life on anyone at all, even if they were your worst enemy?

If I had an enemy, Father, for me to be with... oh, it's a hard question. So much compassion would flow for them because at the same time, I know that to be on the path of God is not easy. So it would just flow too much with compassion. Like, yeah, I have to say this also, but a Godless life? My goodness.

And when we look at our brothers and sisters in the world, it looks like they are not interested in God at all. And I was there. I've been one of them, very, very strongly one of them, and I thought I was fine. So we have to be compassionate towards our brothers and sisters who feel that these outer things are all that matters. And at all, you must not gravitate towards their position, which is that you must focus on making something of yourself. You are making—my blessing for all of you is that you're making saints out of yourselves. There is no greater way to be than to be an inner saint. I don't care what the world thinks about you, but if closeness to God defines sainthood, that is what I want for all my children. That is what I want for all of you. Not any less than that. Now, can you go to them and say, 'I'm a saint'? No, of course not. You can't say, 'I'm training myself to become a saint.' Well, I don't know, maybe if God puts those words in your mouth, but usually humility is best and just bless them.

I love you, Father, so much and so, so happy to be with you again. And I think tomorrow, I think inshallah, we will meet with Kandra. He will come to—I don't know if you know that, I don't know where he comes from, India or somewhere else—but they will meet, he will stop in. So I just want to let you know and yeah, have your full blessing. I just want to meet with you.

Bless you, bless you so much for that. Inshallah. I love you too. Have you noticed that Allah is such a beautiful name of God? Just there is a certain something in it. So unfortunately, in our country, in the world, there's so much division being caused based on the names of God. But if you were just to meet things independently of all the worldly rubbish and to say 'inshallah' constantly, it is such a beautiful thing.