We Can Either Choose the Force Field of God or the Force Field of Maya - 4th July 2024

And of course, I don't need to say that if you're not praying all the time, then you must. Then you must. There is no other way to live. The other way is not living, you see? So, I'm not saying that this is the best way to live; I'm saying that this is the only way to live. Is it? It is not that you live a dead life and then return to prayer when the dead life seems too hellish. Sometimes we do that, but it is to lead a prayerful life no matter what is happening on the outside. And then prayerful life means to live in God's presence, to invoke God's presence, whether it is felt tangibly or not, but to stay facing only Him, you see? In whatever way, whether Bhakti Yoga, Gyana Yoga, any other type of yoga, to stay facing Him.

There is no yoga type of spiritual path unless you become inward-facing, you see? So, all the pathways to God are pathways for you to become inward-facing. So, whatever you're doing, it has to be unceasing. The fact that you turn inwards has to be unceasing, nirantar. Whether it is nirantar japa or nirantar inquiry. So, unceasing prayer, unceasing inquiry, but unceasingly remaining empty, facing God in our heart, whichever path you feel works best.

Now, really look at your life over the past, let's say, one week, two weeks, a month, and notice. Either you live beautifully in God's presence, in the heavenly light of God, even if you cannot report that you taste clearly yet, to face Him is to live in peace. It is not said 'Antarmukhi Sada Sukhi.' Then the sages have not said inward-facing, meeting God's presence, and then always happy. They just said inward-facing, always happy. Is it? That means that whether we can say that we can see His unperceivable light in our heart altar or not, we are already free from suffering.

So, over the past few days, I noticed a bit of contradiction in many reports that I'm getting from all of you, where your idea is that you're praying all the time and yet you seem to be suffering. Now, either the sages were wrong about 'Antarmukhi Sada Sukhi' in seeing 'always happy,' or there is a contradiction somewhere in your report. And I don't worry about that, you can report anything, but the point is that this may be a blind spot which you are not seeing for yourself. It may be a blind spot which is hiding behind something, not letting you see.

Yeah, so this blind spot could be anything. The blind spot could be, 'Yes, I am praying all the time,' which is conceptual, you see? It could be a conceptual idea. So that could be a blind spot which is preventing you from turning inwards by creating an idea, making you buy into the notion of 'always inward-facing.' Or it could be that, 'Yes, yes, all that is fine, but I want to be right about this.' So it could be this idea of being right, as if that being right will get you a trophy or will get you something. In a way, that wanting to be right is pride. And where is it all going to lead? It's all going to lead to nothingness in death.

And there could be other ideas that, 'But I need to turn outwards to do work, how to have relationships, how to take care of the body, or even to be spiritual, to talk spiritual things with my friends, I need to become outward-facing.' None of that is true. See, there is no reason to be outward-facing when we can always be inward-facing. There is never a good enough reason to change that perspective.

Now, does this mean that I'm saying that I'm always inward-facing? No, of course not. Because I get tempted by Maya, I get trapped by Maya from time to time. But at least to recognize that is very important. So, can I report to all of you that I'm praying all the time? I can't. That's why I wonder sometimes how you are able to do it, and I'm very, very happy with that, of course. I'm very happy if it is true, you see? But then the contradiction of praying and suffering at the same time is not possible.

Now, another way—sorry, just some things are just coming strongly to say, so I'll just say them and then we can talk more—but another way to be in unceasing prayer is to just follow His will, you see? So what happens is that you pray and then you come to a place of full allowing, where you're following His will. But you could also determine for yourself that 'I will only follow His will,' and then you come to the place of prayer. It all comes to the same place, you see? So this following His will, to sacrifice your own idea of what you want and what you want to do, and allow His light to unfold through you, is another way of constantly being in unceasing prayer. But for this, you have to be really empty, to be really empty.

So, let's make a list of ten reasons when it is okay to leave God. Let's make it now, because otherwise after I'll get done. So, let's make a list of ten reasons when it is actually worthwhile, sensible, heartfelt to leave God.

Relationship.

I do that? You use that as a reason? Is it a good one? Is it a good reason? How is that working out? How does that work out when you try to maintain relationships without God's presence in them? What happens to those relationships? What is the texture of those relationships? What is the love in that relationship? It is all about grasping, all about wanting. It's not really a relationship worth having if it needs you to be out of God's light. This is literally a hellish relationship.

Recently you said about when you sing this forever, about prayer and contemplation go hand in hand, and it is really, really complementing. And when I started evaluating prayer at every moment, then only I realized that you think you are open and empty, but it's not actually. Some random chat in between asked, 'How is prayer going?' That was like, 'Am I really praying or I'm just talking?' And it's a really good scale to come back again. Father, I was contemplating how Maya works because... can you just illustrate that for a moment? Because it's a very important point which one can't...

Closer, I'll just repeat what he said. Yeah, so I'll just make that point again which he said. He said that to check whether I'm praying all the time is really good because otherwise I was building an idea that I'm just open and empty all the time, you see? And we've talked about this often, that if we can be open and empty all the time, which is that I can just float in space, then walking should be really easy. And walking supported by the earth should be really easy. In the same way, if you're just able to be empty all the time, then to use the support, the crutches of the prayer, then should be exceptionally straightforward.

But when we try to do it, many of us found that actually we were just thinking that we are empty all the time, but actually we realize that there's so many thought patterns which we buy in the middle of our prayer itself. And because we notice that it is not 'Ram, Ram' going on, it is something else, then it puts more light onto that, you see? So just... I was going to illustrate that a bit more. So of course, to be empty is to live in the cloud of unknowing; it is a very, very high prayer. So there's nothing at all wrong with it, but we have to really check on it for ourselves.

So suppose that you were given by your teacher a practice to chant 'Ram' all the time. So you're saying 'Ram, Ram.' Then the thought comes, 'Okay, what's for dinner?' Then would you notice the break in flow? Most certainly. Maybe not necessarily in the first thought, but soon enough you will notice it. So it's quite easy to notice what breaks the pattern of our prayer. But when we just determine—and it is very good to be empty, but maybe it is not as easy—so when we say, 'Okay, we'll be just empty,' this is empty, then thought comes, 'Go for dinner, maybe it'll be good to get some Chinese.' Because you're comparing it to empty space, that distinction may not be fully clear yet, in the sense that you don't notice fully that it is breaking the pattern of your japa. Is this illustration clear?

It's quite easy to notice what breaks the pattern of our prayer. But when we just determine—and it is very good to be empty—but maybe it is not as easy. So when we say, 'Okay, we'll be just empty,' this is empty, then a thought comes: 'Go for dinner, maybe it'll be good to get some Chinese.' Because you're comparing it to empty space, that distinction may not be fully clear yet, in the sense that you don't notice fully that it is breaking the pattern of your japa. Is this illustration making sense? I don't know if you can see it like that.

I can. Please.

I can relate to the same one, yes please. So when I'm saying 'open and empty,' right? And if I'm not praying right now, but I feel I'm open and empty, but it's just a thought of open and empty. As soon as I start validating that, can I pray in this stage? And then when I start with Ram, then I realized my previous state was just thought. Now when I'm with Ram and I'm open and empty, that's the only combination, that's the only time it's true. Else, I'm sure it is not lost in thoughts, but still not open and empty. I'm aware I'm thinking consciously, but I'm still not open and empty unless I pray. This is what...

And many times you will see that your prayer itself will make you empty. So it may become just organic where it becomes a japa, and then you may notice that prayer is happening from a deeper place, like your heart is praying. But you may also come to a place where you're just praying wordlessly, which is the same as open and empty. So the prayer of quiet, the prayer without words, is also very beautiful.

So what is the way to check whether we are fooling ourselves or not?

Yeah, so the absence of prolonged suffering. And when I say prolong, I mean half an hour or more, you see? So the absence of this kind of state where you get into these states for hours on end, you see, then we can be pretty sure that we are either empty or praying. But more importantly, the sense that you are with God. The sense that you are with God, whether you can confirm that His light is apparent to you without fireworks, without any perceptions or not, but you have the sense of just being cradled by Him in His lap. To live in a spiritual notion of yourself, you see, and yet not really living in God's presence and not living surrounded by His love, would be as wasted a life as leading a worldly life. So we must just remain inward-facing, whichever tool helps us do that.

Like this, that's exactly what you're saying, that if you have these times, for long times of suffering, you find yourself troubled for a few minutes, half an hour, this kind of thing is like... you can't do it. Like, try to be antahkarana, inward-facing, and be troubled. Can't do it. Yes. So to use that as an inspiration to return is good, is good. So why am I sharing all this? So all of us can learn to live this way of life, because it's a completely overhauled way of life. It's a complete change of the operating system. We no longer live from here as the center, and living from the heart is the center.

More dangerous time is when there is no suffering, actually. To be away from God, most likely to buy in whatever mind is. But Grace is good because those times are very short.

Also what happens... okay, that's a very good point. What happens is that what I used to call suffering earlier is not what I call suffering now. What I used to call suffering earlier was like really getting into these mind states and you know, this kind of thing. So I would call that point suffering. Here now, like just that sense of yuckiness, you know? That itself is suffering enough. You don't... because why is it suffering enough? Not from any pride or anything, because we don't need to live like that. It's needless. It's pointless suffering. It's pointless suffering. So it's very beautiful that as we are learning to live in His will, as we are learning to live in love with Him, as we are learning to live in His light and guidance, then you realize that the alternative personal way of life was never needed anyway. It's just not needed.

So how the Maya is operating for me, at least I have tried to contemplate and please help me there. There is... those are the typical levers Maya will have: Kama, Krodha, Moha, Lobha, and Matsarya. The ego is one of them. So I haven't seen you focusing ever on the outcome, but last week you specifically talked about anger and try not to do it. And when I followed that last week or so, I could see my trying to use something else in spite of this. So it could be desires or it could be Moha or ego and all. And also it pushes one notch up for every time. If you just try to, you know, be cautious, all of them, Father, have some physical symptoms before it. Anger, you will already know it's heart beating and more. Everything except for the ego part, which has no symptoms at all. It comes, the others get the symptoms.

Yes, Father. So angry, yes, get the symptoms of pride. If you have pride, you don't experience symptoms, but everybody around you is experiencing symptoms. The others around you, affliction. That is why pride is such a tricky one, you see? So that's why anger... so good you got that up. If you are proud, you're going to be angry. And if you are angry, you are proud. And I was saying it for myself, they go hand in hand. Nobody who is proud can go without being angry, and anybody who is angry has to be proud. So I feel like this is a very good shortcut mechanism to talk about humility, you see? Because when we talk about humility, humility, humility, then most of the time our mind itself is saying, 'But I'm quite humble, I'm humble.' But the way to very directly cut it at the root is to look at anger.

For your time, or still when you are still suffering as we are suffering now, that time... so you mean yesterday, today? Today we are much more suffering, Father, than what you are for sure. So in that time also, Father, it was like same? Like one of these will... there will be a season for anger and then there will be a season for Maya? What is this? Is this the way, or how?

It's like a week where the cow is taking over. And in a way it can seem like that, that in the season of all of this, there are particular themes which shine in on a few days. Like we talked about the mind offering a theme for the day. It offers a theme for the day and says, 'Oh, today is my day to be guilty,' or 'Today is my day to attack everyone around me,' 'Today is my day to...' like that. But if you notice also the teaching of the Atma as a theme every day, every week, it's very symphonic. But the same messages will come to you. You're watching some satsang, if you're listening to some bhajan, you see that same message coming to you over and over again over a period of time. So that is the curriculum on the Atma. So it also uses worldly devices to make its point.

So yeah, all of these are interrelated and connected, the tricks of Maya, the trappers. But if you just look at humility, and a very direct way of looking at that is anger, especially this like the quiet irritation, you see? Which is like outwardly you're not saying anything, but inwardly it... so I do that a lot. So that's what I've been working on. So I'm noticing pockets of pride, and so then when I notice those, then I offer it up to God, inquire into them, and try to be free from them. So that way humility is a very good foundation for our spiritual life. Very important, essential. Otherwise it can seem strange why I said anger you have to leave. I've not seen her be that direct about any of the others, but she was very, very clear that anger we have to leave.

But all the stories we have seen, and even the Narad Ji talks about that.

Sure, she talks about this also. So that's exactly the response that her son gave her when she said that you have to leave. So he said, 'But the sages, but Durvasa, but Shiva,' you see? So she says, 'Okay, now you're saying the sages.' So Durvasa got angry and turned somebody into ashes, you see? But he also had the power to pray and bring him back to life. So when you have that kind of power, then you can pray. And that's why I've been saying that we must not use the excuse of Shiva energy coming and all of that. When we can love like Shiva and we can be free like Shiva, then we should say, 'Oh, Shiva.'

Yeah, my question is slightly different. So does the personality have one of the modes of very dominant Maya? Very dominant, either it's an anger... see, because all the stories we heard, even from Narad Muni, twice he went through the same. Even in Ramacharitmanas it will come in a few pages down the line that he went in the mood of Maya that was always for a lady, for a family, for Lobha, for Kama. Then second time in Krishna also it was like that. And another, all the Rishi, all goes down for Apsara when the Maya comes. Attack, the first thing is about Kama. Then there are some growth issues. But so when I'm trying to focus on my Maya impact, is it that my personality will have one of that and I should try to identify and work on that? Or it's like it will use everything possible? So with your experience, Brother?

So yes, from my experience, my personality has all of them. All of them. And some things maybe lesser, like I'm not known to be angry, like nobody around me feels like I'm an angry person or something like that. So maybe that is a bit subtle. Maybe I don't know, maybe green sweet tooths, loving money all the time, these kind of things could be. I'm not trying to purposely find harmless ones, but harmless-seeming ones. But there is everything in this personality still. But as I'm getting older, I feel like settling, settling, settling, settling all these things. And I don't feel like we can automatically count on that being age. You can't just say because sometimes older people are quite angry, you know? And sometimes you see like really old couples, they are just constantly at each other's throats, they just so like fighting because they become almost like siblings or something like that, no? Constantly fighting. So I've seen a lot of that in families around.

So that's learning for us not to go in that direction, not to move in that way. And I tell you that from experience here that since I decided to just take it fully to heart what Ma said, it's really helped. It's really helped follow what Ma said in terms of the anger, to really work on my irritation, really helped. So all of these things, yeah, lust will also go as you go along. I know it's very, very primal, very, very primal. But from my experience, when you get so deeply soaked in God's love, then you don't feel... I mean, it still comes momentarily, but it's more conclusions. But at the moment it seems to be just a mere ashen shadow of what it used to be. So it happened. I feel like one beautiful thing that one who was talking about songs of Atma said, he said that your lust will convert into His infinite love. It's a beautiful way to put it. But as we learn to love God more and more, then all these seeming beasts will get subdued. That is sure.

How to deal with that? A lot of older relationships come from the older version. What happens, Father, values change. So then, you know, all of the grasping or trying to, you know, be special and all that, so they now... but still caught up. You come along the river, cut through and part, then I shouldn't be concerned because there is no ego and really conscious space. Yeah, then why are these... why is it troubling me if I have to go and spend, you know, a weekend hanging out with, you know, folks, you know, not spiritual life or what? So caught between, should I be breaking down and becoming a lot more, you know, secluded and, you know, staying within like-minded company because there nobody's going to question you, you know? Or is that actually kind of pop out because what you're doing is, you know, truly open and empty? Actually, you're making a thought-based decision that I would suffer and, you know, 'this is not for me' and 'that for me.' But again, you may make some unwise decisions and in any case you just again...

Should I be breaking down and becoming a lot more, you know, secluded and staying within like-minded company? Because there, nobody's going to question you at all. Or is that actually kind of a cop-out? Because what you're doing is, you know, truly open and empty. Actually, you're making a thought-based decision that 'I would suffer' and 'this is not for me' and 'that is for me.' But again, you may make some unwise decisions and, in any case, it's just an identity-based aversion to something you've taken yourself to be, rather than consciousness. Consciousness is not a person; it's just universal.

Many points to look at in that very, very good contemplation. We can go to the second one after this. This one is a classical one that most who turn to spirituality face, especially if their earlier life was not as... like, I was an atheist before. Probably you were, from what I remember; you were an atheist as well. So, for those friends, for those people who are used to that version of you, then to them, this one can seem a bit strange and things. But it's also very uncomfortable for them, so you can empathize with them also a little bit because they don't know how to relate. They can't relate with this long hair and big bearded one, you see.

But also, I feel like, half-jokingly, that my hair and beard really helps. Yeah, because they see some photo on Facebook or some social media or something; they have already dealt with that discomfort and they've gone through that stuff. They don't get a shock as much when they see me because most of them say, 'Yes, yes, I saw your photo. I know you've become a baba. I know you've become a sadhu,' whatever, whatever. But the usual thing is, 'Oh, your hair has become longer than your beard now,' you know, some stuff. Because it's just that discomfort of being able to deal with the situation, to just express something there, make some comment on some personal appearance which really... I don't remember when I used to care about it. I didn't really ever care about these things.

So, that's one end of it. But the more important, the bigger topic to talk about is that, like we are saying, the pre-spirituality life and the post-spirituality life now. So, what is one of the main, most important things that must change in that process? You see, that most important thing that must change in the process is: where do our decisions come from? You see? So, whether we talk about will or we talk about decision-making, the question of 'What should I do?' is a classical one in everybody's life. 'What should I do next? What is my next move?' It seems to be the topic of obsession for most of humanity.

So then, how is that different pre and post? And maybe in that, the answer for this is also there. So, pre is: what is the basis of decision-making? Earlier, you decide, you evaluate, you intellectualize, or you're just not even doing that—irrationally just going with your emotion, just going with, you know, your anger, your pleasure-seeking or pain avoidance. All of those are very, very fundamental human constructs. But to change over to the spiritual life, then the question of what I should do is left completely to the Atma within, to the holy guide. Because if Krishna decides for me versus I decide for myself, it's literally a no-brainer. Why would I want to decide for myself if God can decide for me?

So, in all situations, whether to go for the retreat or not, whether to do things or not, whatever your decision may be, we have the best guide: the universal intelligence who is the creator. Like Triguna-atita, the one who made all of this without any aid, without any help from anyone. That one is Sab, that one is residing within all of us. So, if that is here with us, then let's leave all the decisions to Him. That's the best part of spirituality: that you don't have to worry about what to do. And maybe to not worry about what to do, first we need to stop worrying about 'What will they think?' Because otherwise, our surrender will be a half-surrender. So, we'll put the constraint around His will: 'What should I do, God? Please help me, but just make sure they don't hate me, or they don't get very repulsed, or they don't get upset, or they don't get uncomfortable.' Then you're putting a circle around His will, saying that these are your constraints.

It's like a child saying, 'I'm going to go party tonight; you can only pick which of these clubs.' So basically, they're following their will. When we make boundaries around God's will, saying that it's all good, 'I will do what You say as long as it's to go left.' So, the surrender of doing, the surrender of wanting, is the sacrifice of our individual will moment to moment, which is a lifelong project. And like I say every day, on many occasions, I go with my will instead of God's will. And that's why I can mean my prayer. I can mean my prayer because I know now that my way is the way of separation. And sin is nothing but choosing separation over unity. So, I choose separation over unity with God, although I know that this life is only worthwhile if it leads to unity with God. The whole point of spirituality is to come to unity with God, and yet I pick separation every day. So, it's very easy to say, 'I'm foolish.' Sin is not difficult. Like somebody knows that to go straight is the way to where you want to go, to your destination, but every day you choose many times to walk in reverse. That itself is foolishness. I know, beautiful dialogue.

So basically, relating to that, the second... so, open and empty. You recognize there's some sensations here, which thought is not coming. There are sensations. I can sit in that for a long period of time, and actually, I do. So, the net-net is, if you say that the time, three hours, I mean minimum gets done, but there isn't any engine to try to, you know, things right. So, I'm just putting this before you because, I mean, I can't... I'm just saying it's not like, you know, working in a... you do this and then you're just, you know, super productive with all kinds of stuff. It's just the gaps, pauses, when open and empty. And I don't care if somebody's calling me; I don't want to pick up the phone. They're not, you know, looking at the screen. They're not wanting to communicate with anybody else, you know, at all. And it could be... so there's not a lot of time for the, you know, for the typical work-related activities and efficiency and all that. It happens; whatever some stuff happens, stuff... it just doesn't happen. I'm just surfing. It's a way of living, and I'm not sure if I'm alone in this. It's quite universal.

From my experience, I have to say that there are very large periods of time where that life or that energy which comes is missing. But in a way, in this expression, it has always been spurty, spurty like that. Like that, nothing much, then spurts lots in a few weeks, and then nothing much, much, much for four months, then a few weeks. And yeah, as I'm getting older again, I'm noticing that these spurts are not as spurty as they used to be more. But it still can be. So, that's how He is providing that movement from here. And we can't predict for whom how it will be. So, we can't predict. For some, maybe just no life for any outer activity at all. For some, it may feel like—which is rare, and I haven't really come across that much—that the work levels on the outside seem exactly the same as they were, being fully empty, being fully with God. And for most, it will be the feverishness reducing. And yet, when He provides the life force for it to be expanded in that way, it does find its expression as well. So, it's okay if Grace is giving you a time where it's just shanti, shanti. That's the best. What's wrong with that?

About work, you know, like what you said, then there's a spurt. Yeah, but what I'm finding is that when I have that spurt, I maybe... like for example, I recently had that spurt and I hired someone, decided I will expand this, that, you know, two, three things like that. And then I lost it, just completely. But I went on this other thing where I was thinking, 'Why do anything?' And I don't know. Like, so actually, when you go through this spurt, then you have to live through the consequences of it and you have to clean up the whole goddamn thing. I feel like, I feel like tired and I feel like telling myself that, you know, next time you get such motivation, stop and think a little bit.

Stop is good. Stop is good to just allow it to unfold slowly without rushing from the heart. Very, very good. But that's a good way to put it, you know, that let it be a spurt, not a rocket launch into the next, into the other force field. So, the spurt is when we are in the heart; we continue to be there. But if He provides you with some additional life force, life energy for that activity to happen with a propensity, but in that propensity, we should not launch ourselves into the realm of Maya. That is very important, and very good you brought that up. Because it could be like that, you know, you could say... thank you for saying that because many of you then could have said, 'Oh, but it's that spurt, spurt, spurt is happening.' But actually, you spurted to the next, to the wrong place.

Father, I have one more, sorry. You know, I recently... now this is where we really... this whole journey and like you said, full-time job is quite a job. Because I felt like I'm in a great zone, I'm open and empty. And so in that period where this was the non-spurt period and I was, you know, maybe internally feeling quite satisfied with my state of non-mind, I thought. But in that time, when you look back, what happened in that time is that somebody managed to commit with me a cyber fraud. So without thinking, I gave some details away and then I lost money and I now have to file FIR and all. But luckily not so bad. But I then looked back at the time and I said, 'Look, if I was really in the correct place and I was... would this have happened?' Like, I'm asking myself, does this mean that actually I was not in the correct place? And then I asked myself, but then maybe such things happening are also just part of my play, and maybe you don't need to be so involved in the outcome of when you are in the zone or out of the zone. Because if you're so involved in the outcome of that—'Even I, when I'm really with the right energy, then my things will work out, then nobody will commit any, you know, with me whatever'—if things work out, then I felt that then, yeah, that somewhere that didn't also seem correct. So I'm just sitting with these thoughts.

So yes, to be in God's presence doesn't give us a cheat code into the world of Maya. Yeah, it's a shield, it's an umbrella against suffering, against misery, but it doesn't mean that a scammer calls you and you're sitting in the heart so, like, you're a scammer because God is telling you he's a scammer. I mean, it could happen, but that's not necessarily how it has to play out. So we can't judge any of that. We cannot judge servitude to God with any of the worldly outcomes and how it should go for us. And the mind loves to do this: that if you're really sitting in God's presence, then this couldn't have happened to you. Of course it could. Of course it could. There's no... and given that I read somewhere that this FedEx scam, this telecom scam, all of these scams have made like five, six hundred crores last year. So the revenue is very... almost that of a large conglomerate—not conglomerate these days, but at least a corporation. So obviously there are many, many of us who have fallen into these things. But that's not a gauge of how spiritual you are, because the mind uses these things to beat us up also. It beats up on our spirituality by saying, 'See, see...'

Maybe this person... first it began few days ago, this man telling me, calling me from the Customs, something is stuck there. He's a custom officer speaking. I said, 'Officers want to call me?' So I said... I didn't tell anything, 'I don't want to talk to you.' But you put the message on the group, a rare non-satsang message I posted on the group because so many of us...

A gauge of how spiritual you are, because the mind uses these things to beat us up also. It beats up on our spirituality by saying, 'See, see.' May this person... first it began a few days ago, this man calling me from the Customs. Something is stuck there. He's a Customs officer speaking. I said, 'Officers want to call me?' So I said, 'I didn't tell anything, I don't want to talk to you.' But you put the message on the group, a rare non-satsang message I posted on the group because so many of us are getting into this. Somebody sent a story that their parent, some his dad, got scammed, and many, many friends and relatives are getting into this because you get scared that, 'Oh, your packet was found with drugs and Customs.' Yeah, you know, this kind of stuff is designed to make you feel scared. So especially older people don't want to get into this kind of... so he yesterday, he told me, or day before, just before, said that the same thing, it's lying in the Customs. And I said, 'Okay, but I didn't send anything.' 'No, but they've used your name, so they've created a fraud and you sent it to China and type and this is... it's got RDX or whatever.' Okay. So then he says, 'Now I'm going to connect you.' But you know what is surprising is that it's happening to you now. No, but what is surprising is because you told me, 'Don't get angry.' How didn't the number come earlier in the database? I don't know.

So then he said, 'But you said don't get angry.' So I saw myself getting irritated. Said, 'But Father said don't be angry.' So I said, 'Okay, I'm angry.' And I said, 'Okay, I'm not... you can't connect me to... what did you want to connect me to? The cyber crime?' 'I'm connecting.' He's connecting me on a voice. I said, 'Wait, first I'll connect with my lawyer. If she tells me to talk to you, then you call me back right now.' But it helped me not to get angry, you know, because I used to really blow my fuse and blow him up or whatever. And I just keep listening. Then something struck me and I said, 'No, no, no, but thank you.' I mean, it really helped not to be and to turn. So you know what we should do? And ask, 'What should I do, Krishna? Now what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do now?' That's the best. But second option is, if you want to know what to do, you should just keep these people engaged so they can't scam other people. No, they can't scam other people. They have limited time. So just, you know, it's a scam, so keep talking to them. Why did they... they won't waste time on that. So when they know that somebody is fooling around, they just cut the phone because they are a limited resource of time, right? So if you just talk to them and say, 'Oh, like that? Yeah, package?' So take like one hour.

No, my cousin told me, 'Because you talk so long, now they must have taken all your bank...' because that one hour, how many people they would call. Know about it. Take the time. She said, 'It's a fraud on your name.' I said, 'It's not fraud.' I only said she wasn't back, realized, cut the call. We obviously notice our foolishness. We obviously notice the times where we follow our own will instead of staying with God's will. Now, what do we do with that? That is really important. So we notice the foolishness, therefore we are repentant about what we've done. But what to do with that repentance? If you bring it to God, then in His love, He converts that into a deeper love, a deeper humility, a deeper faith. But if we give this to our mind, then the mind converts it into a despair, a despondency, which is more mindy, and then in that state we are committing more foolishness. Is it not?

I'm not saying you're doing that. I'm just saying that when we come across something like that, and as we deepen in our prayer more and more, the things which we've been selfish about, the things that we have wanted our own way about, get revealed to us. See, but they get revealed not so that we can get caught up in the mind more and more; they only get revealed so that we can offer them up to God in the temple of our heart. We can look at them in our inquiry and be free from that condition. So that is why that beautiful prayer at the end the other day: 'Open to me the gates of repentance.' It can sound like a very strange prayer, you see, because repentance sounds like suffering. Who wants to open the gates to suffering, saying to God, 'Open the gates to suffering for me'? This repentance is not that. This repentance means that my blind spots are coming into view and they are being surrendered to God and we are getting free of them. Otherwise, if you feel like, 'Oh, I'm always in God's will, I'm never stuck in my... I'm always praying, I'm always empty, I'm always inquiring, I have nothing to be repentant about,' why are we asking God for His mercy? 'I don't need mercy.' So when these things start being shown to us, we realize that, like Hanuman Prasad Poddar said, quoting, saying that we are so lucky that God is Kripalu and not just... what is the word for just? So He is merciful and He is not doing justice. Because if He was to do justice, then there is so much foolishness here that He could judge.

So we pray for His mercy. And those who cannot pray for His mercy feel like they have no foolishness in their life, you see. Either they have not understood the project or they must be some really great sages. Like Ananta talking about Tulsidas Ji said, and as we continue reading the Ramacharitmanas, you'll see that he is just so, so humble and he says, 'I'm the worst of the worst.' See? So how is it that the greatest sages like Kabir Ji and Tulsidas Ji... is it that they are lying and being just showing humility, you see? Can I say like that? Lie or just for effect? Can't be. But what does happen is that the sensitivity to their foolishness changes. What is acceptable to them in their heart changes. And that, I feel like the biggest is that that which creates an inward sense of disconnection, you see, that there's really no tolerance left for that. So all of us have to really become inner explorers so deeply that we notice very clearly the things that cause an inner sense of disconnection, that we feel like to remain inward-facing is not... 'I don't want to do it right now, oh, I don't feel like doing it right now.' And there's no like magnetism in that, there's no gravitation there.

What happens after you've been inward-facing for quite some time? There's like a gravitation, isn't it? It just... something holds you and you hold it and it holds you, isn't it? But when that disconnection happens, then there's no gravitation. You just feel like there's more gravitation here, see. So I know that we are pushing the force fields thing quite a bit, but it works like that. So the more inward-facing we are, the more just grounded, steady, like that. The more outward-facing we are, the more it seems to attract us, pull us in, just wants us to do more and more. That's why we have to be really careful of that time where we say, 'Just a little, just this,' which is okay, it's not complete like 'no, no,' but remember that was meant to be just a little.

God never left any... I mean, if I see that, I mean the worst of time, I mean it even was always there, you know. I lived in this one, it came, got me, the Guruji got me here. I mean, it's his full grace and mercy even if I didn't... you know, I mean, I can't bank on that now. I have to really not just know what I'm saying.

To use a little bit of a metaphor, the exams we get when we are in nursery or first standard or in, let's say, fourth standard may not be the same as you get in the college or university. So when we don't know, His grace is of course blessing us, you see. When we don't know, His grace is blessing us, keeping into account that we don't know, you see. But once you come to satsang, you've made things more difficult for yourself. Now you do know. And to know and to be reminded over and over again every day and still turn towards the ego and to still turn towards the world is then... is not the right way to live. Not the best. Not that any of you are doing that, but it's just so. The grace keeps becoming deeper, but in the deeper grace, many times it can seem like a deeper test. Like a deeper test of letting go. Like the deeper we are holding on to things, if you're holding on to things strongly, then many times it will seem like a bigger sacrifice is needed to be with God.

You notice how if you're a beginner and you start meditating or doing inquiry or praying, many times His presence is just naturally so palpable, you see. But if you deepen in our spirituality, strangely enough—I mean, it does not become more and more natural—but if you've been egoic for a very short period of time then, and again I'm reporting about myself only, but you can sense a very strong disconnection that can happen almost immediately. So to follow that inner compass is very, very important and we must not lose track of that. It's really important to be with that, especially when life is giving us all the reasons to turn away from that. So asking rhetorically at the beginning that: what are ten good reasons to leave God, God's presence, and get involved in Maya? And of course there are none. There is no good reason ever except pride, which is not a good reason.

How do I know whether I'm getting deeper into my sadhana or I'm just stuck at a plateau? Well, and I know it's a mind question, but it's bothering me.

No, no, it's a good question. But the thing is that if you don't know, then you're probably not going in deeper in the sense that it is unmistakable, see. But tell me, give me a sense of how your days go.

I do EDS in the morning and actually there's some chant or the other all the time. Sometimes even I don't know what it is. Sometimes it could be the Hanuman Chalisa, sometime it could be something else. I have to focus and see what is it. So it's very peaceful, but it's peaceful, you know. And I feel there's something more I need to do. I mean, not me as a person, but as me as a person.

All right, so but why some chant or the other? Why not your prayer?

I don't know, but it's all... it's not I'm not doing it consciously. I notice it, then I realize.

Why don't you just pray constantly, consciously?

I may be working or yeah, I don't know because this is... yeah, maybe I need to do that.

Must, yeah. Unceasing prayer, not incidental. Of course, it's very comforting that like a beautiful bhajan is still playing inwardly. It's very comforting and reassuring. But your intention should be to be in nitya japa, in unceasing prayer.

Yeah, yeah, that I'm not doing.

So you start your day in God's presence using the tool of the ideas and then remain in unceasing prayer. So there's unceasing gratitude, there's recognition of the grace all around, all that is there. But unceasing prayer, remembrance of God's name, God's presence, God's light, His love will only come if you're either praying all the time or you're truly empty all the time. If you feel like you can't pray all the time, then it's unlikely that you can just naturally be empty all the time.

So you think I should consciously...

Yeah, because then once we consciously decide to do it, then we are able to even diagnose our life. Without beginning in this way, we don't even know how much time really goes on the mind, how much time... because the mind's report about how we are can be completely different. And to make sure that you don't deepen in your spirituality, that's so. Try for a few days. You just let... reverse the situation where the prayer is what you are fully with and the outer is incidental. Not the outer being work and all of that being the main, and the fact that something is going on incidentally, not something I suddenly notice and feel good about. Yeah, it's beautiful, but it's beautiful at a particular level. Now you have to transform your life to unceasing, unceasing prayer. So then you'll be able to unceasingly be in His presence, which is very different from the mind speculating whether we are in His presence, in His will unceasingly. So yeah, prayer. If you're doing other unceasing inquiry, yeah, like that story of Bhagavan sending... in the name, but sending that sage who becomes...

Going on incidentally, not something I suddenly notice and feel good about. Yeah, it's beautiful, but it's beautiful at a particular level. Now you have to transform your life to unceasing prayer, so then you'll be able to unceasingly be in His presence. Otherwise, it is very different from the mind speculating whether we are in His presence, in His will. Unceasingly. So yeah, prayer if you're doing, or unceasing inquiry. Yeah, like that story of Bhagavan sending that sage who became a sage to a hut outside the ashram and said, 'Now Swami, you say that the ashram is too distracting for you, you always get involved in things, so you go sit in that hut and unceasingly do the inquiry.' Yes. And if this is true for such close bhaktas of Bhagavan, then it's true for all of us. Yes, they are very complementary, Father, the prayer and the inquiry.

Yes, thank you. Yes, to start, I give you the ones I forgot. Yes, can please make sure if I follow one of them then you all have to save me. I just forgot, but I just start from somewhere. I had it worked out, but it's like what Arvind was also saying about friends, old friends, you know? And that's one thing, like I'm praying, I get a call and I pick it up. Like picking up, I choose to not pray and I pick up, and then I have a conversation and somehow it goes somewhere. And when you are on a call with a friend, you lose the prayer mostly. Yeah, and now I remember the other ones also. Sometimes it's like when you say just try to have this conversation while continuing to be inward-facing, that's good practice. Not like in a convoluted way where the attention is like that, just stay with God, stay with your heart temple. It doesn't have to be with attention, just intuitively you can only do it in... don't leave your heart and speak.

From where it comes. I know it sounds impossible to do because the mind has no tools like that, but you can stay with God. Okay, let me put it another way. It's not a feeling-feeling, but suppose that Lord Ram, Lord Krishna, Lord Jesus, whoever is holding your hand—any of them that you resonate with or whoever you resonate with—is just holding your hand and you're continuing to move around in the world. How would you imagine that? Or imagine for a bit, it's okay. You can imagine that He's with you, because it's true, but we've forgotten. But we have lost the recognition of that. So stay with God right now. You're telling me to do that, yeah, so you practice. This is the space where you can practice without people calling you.

Sometimes, like when thoughts come, I try to say, 'What is Jesus saying?' That's one thing that I read from some book: 'Let His word be the first and then break your silence.' That's something I try. Right now I'm not doing it. I don't know if I'm doing it. I just sit in silence and nothing happens and He hasn't spoken yet. You're practicing as you are speaking, or sure it's not coming from the presence. Again, I'm not saying that you must become stiff. It's just that you're grounded in the heart. It means that we just with our attention only we are inward-facing. It doesn't mean that no sage would ever open their eyes or the living God. That's not what... just something, I don't know how to explain it. Something is still inward while our activities are outward. In a way, we can be poetic about it and say if you are in love, then we are still in a constant remembrance of the beloved while our work may be on the outside or something like that. But it's not even like that. Somewhat like that. Okay, so then how to do that? Is the best way to just try and pray all the time?

It happens. Like when you're praying all the time, then the distribution of attention just happens naturally. Okay, as much as you can. Not the minimum, but the maximum. Maximum amount of space available to give to God, we must give. Not minimum. That's why I said that sometimes the question is, 'Should I do my full prayer or should I just do the japa or should I do what should I do?' And I know the intention is to say, 'Can I just do the short-short one instead of the full prayer?' So that's what I was saying, that if you're in a work meeting and things are just flying around you, when people are saying 'da-da' something-something, see, in the middle of all that battle you can still remember once every one minute, two minutes. That itself is very high prayer. But if you're free, you're just whiling away your time, there's nothing really happening, and then you're just like ticking the box around, that's just ticking the box. It is better than nothing, a million times better than nothing, but then to fully offer yourself up and pray to Him, like using the words of the prayer. And the prayer has come from grace in such a way that it can lead to deeper conversations, it can lead to deeper communion with God. So when you ask Him for mercy, when you ask to be blessed in your heart by the light of spirit, then it opens the door for us to actually be able to communicate more with Him, which continues to be that prayer. So that's... it's very important that the deepest possible, the maximum possible of ourselves we can give in that given situation. That maximum possible. There's some leeway to kind of push it aside. It's maximum possible. It's not that you have to give an exam on it one day. It's just, you know in your heart whether you're being true to it or not. You know.

Is it good to gradually get there? To...

If you decide that you will do it gradually, then it will happen super gradually. If you decide 100%, then it will happen gradually. But if you decide only gradually, then it's a long, long project. See, because gradually means you're setting yourself up for laxity, for not giving your all to Him. You see, when you decide to give it your all, like when I decide to give it my all, I feel a million times still. So if I decided to give my 50%, I would feel a zillion times heard you say this, but somehow I still don't do it.

And Maya works, keeps reinforcing the thing that...

That's how Maya works. Because you know what is Maya's greatest tool? The ability to rationalize. It can rationalize anything as long as it turns you away from God. Like one of these rationalizations which is very spiritual, like you told us that it's your intention every moment. If your intention is to find Him and be with Him, or be... and this also I found, one rationalization that came was, so now going there, friends meeting, all of that, then it's like my intention matters. And we've heard so many times you said before that make it about God, and that Brother Lawrence, to pick up a straw in the name of God is enough. So it's like, okay, my intention is to go there, have fun and do all those things and relive memories, all of that, but I can change my intention while doing that to make it about God. Like I go to a workshop and then a selfless service, and if I see an opportunity to... intention... if your intention is God, you cannot have intention number two.

Like when you say, 'Okay, so if you're saying that I'm going to be with God,' yeah, whether friends show up in this play or whether I'm sitting alone in a cave, my intention to be with God doesn't change. The way I can be with God can change. Like if I'm not thinking about myself, my sadhana, my practice, my that... that can be, that can also be egoic. If you're just mostly thinking 'my, my, my,' it's 'God, God.' See, what helped me the most, and maybe helpful for all of us, is to know that He knows us really well and He knows us in every moment. He knows our exact intention. He knows when we are fooling ourselves. He knows when we are being sincere. He knows when we are struggling, when we are weak, when we are strong. He knows every moment. And He knows in the sense that we forget in a few minutes, He knows. So that audience of one is really important, and you have access to what He knows in your heart. That's why when I say that you know in your heart, your mind rationalizes, 'But I give it my 100%,' and your heart may say, 'I gave it my 100%.' But if your heart is saying, 'No, I kind of didn't really give it my all, but I'm going to now.' Sometimes we are just scared to turn towards what we know in our heart. It seems a bit uncomfortable to visit that, but it is the most loving teacher in the world. The Atma is the most loving teacher in the world, in the universe. So it's very important that we really embark on this journey of the discipleship of the Atma. It's really important.

What many of you maybe still trying to do is this spiritual journey without the spirit, without the assistance, without the guidance of the Atma within, because your mind has made a rationalization for it saying, 'Oh, but I haven't found the spirit.' But have you not been told about how to? You have been told about how to. That even if the presence of spirit is not palpable for you, how to be in the light of the spirit. You've been told every satsang. But many times we continue to make spirituality into a personal strategy for happiness rather than a strategy for discipleship. Don't spend this entire life without meeting your Atma within and being a disciple of the true Guru, which is the Satguru presence with Him. How to do that? We've been given by God's grace such simple ways. Pray all the time. Don't waste a moment thinking, 'What about me? What about me? When me?' Why waste time? And secondly, inquire and ask, 'Who am I? But who am I really?' See, if it's sincere, it's very simple. The inquiry, in the sense the way to inquire, is very simple: 'Who am I?' But it cannot be a hobby. It cannot be a part-time job. You know, 'One of my interests is spirituality.' One of my interests is oxygen? You're interested in oxygen? Literally, life itself is the presence of God.

Let's go to K. Hello, hi.

Can you hear me? Yes. Okay, I'm just using different earbuds, so I feel really nervous right now for some reason, but there's like a lot wrong with me, you know, and...

No, I don't know. You know more than I know, but there's for all of us to grow. That is true for all of us. I don't feel like I can say that there's anything wrong with any of my children in particular, yeah.

But you're you, and you wouldn't say that probably. But I had this dream where I shared with everybody, like with the satsang, all of my sins. And then you said to share ten reasons why we leave God, and I wrote like thirty. And some of that I saw, some that...

So let me see. Let me see one thing. If you said that, 'I have only one force field, which is that of Maya, and then I don't have any other force field that pulls me inside my heart,' then I would say, 'Okay, this needs some serious help. There's something wrong here.' But no, nobody in satsang, nobody in the world actually can say that all their experience is Maya. Because at least a moment of unconditional love everyone has experienced. At least a moment of pure joy from the heart everyone has experienced. So nobody can say that we are broken in that way. Nobody is broken in that way. So really the question is, what are we going to focus on? Are we going to focus on Maya, or are we going to focus on God? And that is really the same choice that we speak of every time, that both have gravitational pulls. You see, usually Maya seems more compelling, it pulls us in. But we have to learn to cut the cords of that gravitation and stay turned to God and stay there, turned inward-facing. Stay. You know what inward is? What is inward?

Yeah, well, when you say it, it's like it feels like it's like an unclenching, like ungrasping of everything and just a complete letting go and self-surrender, you know? And just a relaxation, and even a kind of a looking is there too, you know? Like there's looking and seeing and just like continuing to look and see, but it's not a content. I'm not exactly looking or seeing anything. So why don't we always stay like that? Because there's nothing there or something, you know? Like...

And that is okay to grasp. That's an excellent point. That when we face...

It’s like an unclenching, like un-grasping of everything and just a complete letting go and self-surrender, you know? And just a relaxation. And even a kind of a looking is there too, you know? Like there's looking and seeing and just like continuing to look and see, but it's not a content. I'm not exactly looking or seeing anything. So why don't we always stay like that? Because there's nothing there or something, you know? Like, and that is okay to grasp?

That's an excellent point. When we face inwards in this way, which is empty with inner insight, intuitive insight, you see, which is not separate, which is not two things—so this is inward-facing in our heart—we never feel like there is nothing there, isn't it? We feel like there's nothing there because, in a way, if we didn't sleep for many, many days, we will do anything to get sleep. So we want to get into that so-called nothing. But actually, it is nothing because there is great peace, there is great relaxation, there is great freedom from personality, from egotism, from the world; all of that is there.

On the other hand, Maya in its design has so many layers. There's this world of colorful appearances, you see. Both contrast: sugar and salt. Everything is there in every layer of our existence—our emotions, our mind, thoughts, memories, images. There's so much to play with in this realm of mind. And that is why it needs faith to remain with this apparent nothing, which is actually the most beautiful, pristine place, versus the compelling nature of experiential sensory appearances. So that is the whole game. That is the whole project.

It's not about fixing something here so that it seems more spiritual. It's not about adjusting the Lego blocks in this Lego world to make it seem like the perfect combination. It's about none of that. And yet God, in His grace, because He realized that the Maya that He has created is so compelling, He also created some escape hatches, escape routes out of that Maya into His heart, into His love, into His light. But then what does the mind do? The mind says, 'No, no, but my escape hatch, you know, it's too close to my door. Actually, it should be next to my window. It's too narrow; it should be a bit broader.' Then we try to include the alarm clock, the escape hatch, into the dream, and that's what gets us into trouble.

Can you explain more that it becomes... we start... our spirituality itself becomes part of a worldly sort of narrative, worldly comparison system, a worldly all of these things where we lose... like the mind is winning in a very big way because we lose sight of what that alarm clock is for, the spirit of what the escape hatch is leading us to. It's like... okay, it's actually the opposite of that, but this metaphor is coming. So it's like instead of throwing the garbage down the garbage chute, we are just making it decorative and we're putting things around it. So the whole point of it is to use it and to dispose of ourselves, our whole self, but to use it to add to ourselves then becomes the mind's great tactic where we end up falling for that trick.

So we must use every opportunity, everything that shows up even in Maya, to remind us of God. Come what may, we must feel in His light, in His presence. And if you can say that 'I can turn to Him but I don't,' then there's never a good reason for that. Of course, the mind will convince you that 'I can't,' but you know in your heart—all of us know in our heart—that we can. Tell me if any of your hearts say that 'I can't actually turn,' you see? Because even to go to your heart, you would have turned already.

So have you all encountered these times where we just don't want to? Isn't it? And if we can admit to ourselves that there are so many times where we just don't want to, then it becomes apparent to us that the choice is in our hand whether we are being with Maya or we are being with God. Then we can face the spiritual life head-on. But if you feel that Maya has a magical hold over me which I can't break, then we really are only considering ourselves to be flesh and blood and not really Consciousness or an aspect of Consciousness, whichever way we want to look at it. Yeah? Have we all seen that the push and pull is really strong? Of course, Maya is pulling us in, but it can't make us fall without our consent. At least that much we must have noticed.

Yeah, it really is like the trick is that it's like the choice of choosing not to, of choosing not to when we have the tools, and then pretending like we didn't choose it.

Yeah. And to just shine some light on this, I was just illustrating the point at the beginning of Satsang. Like, if our intention is to be prayerful or inquiring or to be empty all the time, then how can we get into these states? We have to feed ourselves at least 500 thoughts to suffer. Okay, let's say I want to suffer for a day. How many thoughts you need to eat for that? Can you suffer with one thought for a day if you replay it? Exactly. But so that repetition and mind is one more count. So the same thought 500 times or 500 different thoughts, doesn't matter. Try to suffer for the whole day. Like, try to suffer for one minute just with one thought. You can't do it. So it's a lot of work to suffer, actually. Rather than do that work, do the work of prayer, do the work of being with God.

How long can one thought, not repeatedly believed in, make us miserable? Just one that crosses and you said, 'Yes.' Notice the aftertaste. How long does it last? Every thought has an aftertaste, but how long does it last? Okay, that's more than my experience, but it's okay. It can vary; it's fine. So it's fine. But then to continue to suffer, what you need to do? We need to again reiterate that thought and keep ourselves in that situation. Compared to this, actually, the prayer life, the prayers of being or the life of being in God's presence, seems much simpler. And the most important thing is that we are losing the battle for time, and we only lose the battle of time because we think we have time.

Yeah, if this game was just half an hour—half an hour be with God and you can be in His eternal presence forever, or half an hour with the mind and you can suffer for the rest of your life forever—then what would you do? You'd try your very best for that half an hour. You'd say, 'It's only half an hour now. Now is make or break.' But because we feel like these days keep coming and they go, they come and they go, soon that half an hour is gone. Don't create rationalizations to not be with God. It is never a good enough reason. 'Oh, but I... oh, but I... I... but I...' It sounds like a very comfortable way that we have reasoned with ourselves, and we convince ourselves that today I can't be with God because this, today I can't be with God because tomorrow, I can't be because day after I can't be because... how many days of our life just keep going like this, is it?

Because like the mind always needs a reason. Like, is it part of the fear of just completely like letting go or something, that these rationalizations are needed? Because we want to make... like we hate this, because we know that the true way to live is to live with God's presence, and yet we keep falling for the tricks of the mind. So that would make it too uncomfortable, and we've given ourselves a good reason.

Yeah. 'But today my body is in pain.' 'Yeah, but today there's so much happening.' 'Yeah, but today is the annual work review.' 'Yeah, but today...' You know, every day. 'But today there's something for all of us.' And if you were to do it without reason, then we feel really stupid, and we don't want to feel stupid, so we attach rationales to it.

Is it an avoidance of God or a fear of letting go?

It is just an avoidance of the fact that we realize that we should be with God, but we are being with Maya instead, you see? What does the rationalization provide us? It provides us a sort of excuse to not stay with God, a sort of a validity for a worldly day. I won't say worldly life, but at least for a worldly day or for a worldly minute, you created rationalization for it. Yeah? But why? How? And how am I saying all of this? Because this is what I do. How do I have deep insight into it? Because this is exactly what I do. If I had gone my own way, if I had not followed His will, I have a reason. I'm never without reason. Then that's what makes me foolish, because that reason is foolish.

Why do we do it? Because that is the design of Maya, you see? If Maya did not come with a compelling design like this, who is going to pick Maya? On one hand is God, on the other hand there's just some ephemeral experiences which are going to die. Who is going to pick Maya? Nobody. It comes with the narrator. It comes with its own top-class salesperson who is telling you the story. And how many years have we seen that we can't suffer without a story? Yeah, I don't know, I see it, but all of us have been talking about this for many years. Yeah? That this has been the overarching theme of Satsang for more than a decade now: that to suffer, we need a story. So Maya cannot cause suffering without this lawyer selling us a story.

And you know how it starts? 'Yes, but...' 'Yes, but...' quietly or loudly. For many years, sometimes just quiet under your breath, you're like... and those two words, 'Yes, but.' I could have said a thousand words before that; it's all negated in those two words, 'Yes, but.' 'Yeah, but...' and that 'but' is the rationalization which I'm talking about. Yeah? It's counter to everything you hear in Satsang, and whatever is being pointed to in Satsang is 'Yeah, but.' The mind knows you well enough now not to say 'No, no, no,' you see? Because if it was to violently only—not that it doesn't violently attack—but if it was only violently attacking you, then the love in your heart for me would rebel against that. So it doesn't do that many of the times. It just says, 'Yeah, but you know...'

So it's a very, very fine-tuned technique of the mind to keep us caught in hell, to keep us caught in mind while holding on to our own individuality, our own righteousness, with just two words. Because I could have explained everything by God's grace, the words may just have shed light on everything that needs to be seen, and just with this simple 'Yeah, but' something... something... that's... yeah. It's like, so what are we actually doing? If with the 'Yeah' we were returning to our true place, then please use it. But with the 'but' we are cementing our place in hell. So true misery, trouble to ourselves with this seeming intellectual motion of what is right. Like, there's very, very simple... every moment seems more and more...

I'm sorry, I keep interrupting you. Sorry.

No, it's not okay. That's rude. Then I should get an award for the rudest one. No, you are allowed that pass. I just feel comfortable that all of us are at a place where we don't have to worry about these things. So what I was saying is that really, moment to moment, these two spheres are available to us: Hell or Heaven, Maya or God's light. That's all that it boils down to.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say, Father. It's like it was seen so clearly that there is no half-step in God. Like, there is no... it's not light and then sort of light, or it's not... it's God or Darkness. It's love or it is violence. Like, there is no in-between. Like, there is no halfway or 'kind of' and I'm still in God, or like 'I can still kind of indulge in this and still be in God.' There is no halfway in between. And that's very... it's either love or hate.

Yeah, but I want to make one point about this is that sitting in either sphere, we can make that conclusion. Yeah? So which sphere? In either sphere, you see, we can be in Maya and say, 'Yes, it's all just black and white. I have to be with God.' You see? There's no halfway, there's no half-me. Or we can be sitting in God's presence and sharing the same words, which is actually the sharing of Satsang. To sit in God's light and to allow that to be seen and to be shared from there is Satsang.

It's either love or hate, yeah. But I want to make one point about this, is that sitting in either sphere, we can make that conclusion. Yeah, so which sphere? In either sphere, you see, we can be in Maya and say, 'Yes, it's all just black and white. I have to be with God.' You see, there's no halfway, there's no half-me. Or we can be sitting in God's presence and sharing the same words, which is actually the sharing of satsang. To sit in God's light and to allow that to be seen and to be shared from there is sharing of Sat. So, even which sphere am I in here? You're asking, even our spiritual conclusions are valuable then we are sitting in the right place, yeah. So where are we right now? In that moment of sharing, I was in the Maya sphere, but the recognition came when I was in the other sphere.

Yes, very, very good. Very, very good. This is such an important point, especially for those who are going to share God's light, and I hope all of you are. Don't fall into that trap ever of having two insights but feeling like you need to go to your intellect to make words out of them. Continue to stay in your heart. Allow everything to unfold from there, because if you fall into that trap, what's going to happen is that it's going to become stale and you will soon just be speaking spirituality from your intellect. You see? And to make that effective, you will start to become performative. Once you start to become performative in your spiritual sharing, the turn back is very difficult, especially if it is working.

But Father, if we start speaking from the intellect from past insight, yeah, can it not eventually evolve into presence, like an alive insight? Like, is it not, can it not be helpful to eventually, like, help us get there?

If someone had access to the whole meal, then why settle for, you know, for just a ticket to the meal? You see? So what I'm saying is that if you don't know how to go to the restaurant or order room service, then to say that, 'Yes, I have this 20% discount coupon, it will ultimately help me when I'm ordering,' you see? But you can order right now, yeah. So why settle for intellectual conclusion when you can come to true insight right now? And what is, what can seem very irritating is that the Lego house really becomes much heavier to hold up. The Lego house of the narratives, of the framework of narrative. But because it seems like we take an effort to build that up, it can seem irritating that this man wants to just throw it all down.

Choose God. Choose God, especially when it seems difficult. Don't replace God with some reason. What's that going to be like? Replacing, I don't know why so many food examples, replacing an actual thali with a photo of a thali. Can't do anything with it. Like, what can you do with the reason? Suffer, feel weight, feel pain. I don't know. Is there any good thing that can come out of having a reason?

Just a moment of like excitement, I guess. A moment of feeling right. A moment of feeling that I'm being correct, I'm being rational, yeah. With that as a replacement for God.

Yeah, yeah. I'm learning. I lost track of time, but let's go to the reading.

Oh, sorry Father. That's sorry. Thank you.