Wanting to Directly Experience This Knowingness - 9th February 2018
Saar (Essence)
Ananta guides the seeker to recognize the qualityless knowingness that remains constant behind changing experiences, advising her to stop seeking specific outcomes or states and simply acknowledge the awareness that is already naturally present.
There is no phenomenal taste of this knowingness; it is a non-experiential experience.
Don't bother with the outcome... you keep looking at the coconut and saying what's happening to the ocean.
Whether you say I am angry or peaceful, the 'I am' is experienced without any quality.
intimate
Transcript
This transcript is auto-generated and may contain errors.
Firstly, we repeat what we say. So, you see, when I let go, my thoughts don't follow again and just remain with my presence. A lot of people say joy can come, but I want to go through the experience of knowingness. Is this what—yeah, this knowingness which is not one with what you know?
Yeah, it seems like in the past I have experience with this, but now I just—it feels like now it's different, you know? Actually, all of what you say is included in that too, isn't it? Because there is a witness of this person, there is an awareness of this existence, and there is a knowingness that in this existence all these flavors are coming. Does that knowingness itself have a quality? When you look now, that which knows your existence, does that have a quality?
When I ask existence, I take it as what I perceive. So that would be my peace and finish.
Okay, so let's look further. I say try to stop being, and there's a very natural sense which is beyond the sensation of peace and joy. Just that I exist. In that moment, I think what I exist is whatever I experience, and that would be... but also using that these experiences are coming and going and changing in quality over time. Over that which is the basis for their coming and going, at this one and this one, I want to—it feels like I want to really make all of this pure and without any other attributes, experience this, you know?
Which, yes, but it's more you are having that experience, but more naturally than you think it should be. Because whether you say 'I am angry' or whether you say 'I am peaceful,' the 'I am' has experience without any point of fear. Now, what you are saying is that there should be a condition that no other quality is arising. Maybe because in the past you were having these experiences that I experience somehow myself as this non-quality, and now it feels like it sometimes I can even move around and really be in this, like consciously experiencing this low quality, you know? But now we came from without or a deeper light. It's a place where is the least you combine.
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Now, because you're given that recognition of what you are naturally, some peace is coming, he's coming, but I don't—it feels like because peace can come and go throughout the day, yeah, it's—fluctuations can come and go. So I don't really want to say, 'Oh, that's fine.' This is because many times throughout the day I have flavor, I don't feel this, I feel different in it. So sometimes, and it's fine actually, even when there's no peace and it's Friday, there is only body, a lot of attention on the body. I'm experiencing thoughts, it's fine, but there is no peace.
If you were to ask yourself, 'Can I stop being?' that would be the now. The asking, 'Can this body stop being?' So who is that? Are you saying that your being includes just the sensations of this body? There is something more basic than in those moments when attention is on the body. Is there experience that that's all there is?
Okay, so let's come back to now. Are you aware that you exist? Street where attention goes to what is experienced in that spaciousness, that's one cool a little subtle body sensation, that's why. So in everything there ever attention goes it, and are you aware of existence? Like do you experience with spaciousness in their subtle body experience whatever they experience might be?
Yes, you are aware of this experience, whatever you might be perceiving. You are aware the perception is in this moment. Their awareness where I take it to me, so for some reason only do I experience like, yes, I cannot see what is awareness. In this moment there is an experience. Now that experience went away, and even that you are aware of. Like the sound of the ambulance is an experience that you were aware of. Now you see that there is no experience like that sound of ambulance, so that awareness is not gone, but that experience is gone.
You know, it's more subtle. It's like again the outcome of it, it's very light in the body of I speaking noise here. So usually I refer a lot of the outcome of what is being by the late night.
So my advice would be to as much as possible don't bother with outcome, because that will become a habit. You keep looking at the camera, looking at the coconut, and saying what's happening to the ocean. So you're aware of experiences and you're aware even when that experience goes away. During this, that is awareness. Is that itself an experience? Like want me to say it is? You are aware of the experience; that experience is not aware of you. This 'you' that is aware of the experience, how—what is the base of that you?
Just with knowingness, but without explanation. Somehow vacuum is knowingness, but without explanation. The closet is knowingness.
Exactly. Something that something wants to settle on it and like experience it, but it's never possible because there is no phenomenal taste of this knowingness. It's really non-experiential experience. Only one we can have. I am aware between you that I'm aware that awareness is here, and this awareness has no taste, has no quality, has no attribute. But somehow it is no experience.
So this, yeah. So now when throughout the day when I'm into this, when I have time what I feel like nothing to do and I just do nothing, or another more actually when I'm actually in the body more, I'm really experiencing this body sensations. And what is the best way of—because the moment it's morning in a good way in impacting in my memory whenever I experience something really and deeply in the body, but no, it's not true and somehow it helps as well, you know?
It's not true. What is what you experience? The deeper truth is actually has been experiencing. It's somehow known, you know, but not as now, which is what you're finding as your insight in Satsang. We find that these insights don't actually give you—when I said don't worry about because because we sometimes we become very feverish about that. This is a natural expansion will happen. That's why their appearance. That's only actually most of the things I'm saying is to come to this insight, and that punch itself is more than enough already. It's and actually after you can spend the whole day or even the week and there is just tip no. And even without experiencing something you can experience whatever. It's just deep knowing that everything is fine. Involved is nice. So just basically confirming this morning at least in the time that you're in Satsang itself is modern. But whenever it feels natural, not too forceful, even with the rest of the day. Because many I feel are also struggling, struggling with the same relationship issue, then you're trying to force too much and then 'I am always just this.' All of this movement of the world and the spoken name is my house and the phenomenal experiences which having had all of this just on the surface. It feels like sometimes is good to confirm like even now it's confirmed, but sometimes it's just and you can always come. Don't feel like...