True Love Holds No Grievances - 18th July 2025

No, and then we fall into that trap and that irritation is bound to come out in some way. Many people hide it behind humor. Humorously they'll try to poke, but by making a joke and saying 'I'm not saying so,' that is actually more disingenuous. So both are important, but really the master key is to recognize what is the source of this love. You see, it's not man-made, like all good things, thankfully, because it would be very contaminated if it was man-made. So it's a gift from God and possibly the most intimate gift that God gives us. In fact, if we are feeling the presence of love, we can almost safely say that we are feeling the presence of God. If you're feeling the presence of God, it's a very rare time that you will say, 'But I'm not feeling the presence of love.' And that is why, most times, it's safe to refer to them as one. God and His love are rarely separated.

So then how do we love our neighbor? I would find it really difficult—I have to talk about maybe there are others who started the other way—but in my case, if I did not love God, I would find it very difficult to love the neighbor. I feel that when you're constantly in a loving presence, then that naturally translates into an outer love and you don't really notice it as a boundary. You see, a strange sort of metaphor is coming, which is that if you're drowning in Kesar, then as you walk around it will splash on others around you. So as we immerse ourselves in His presence, then that is the most natural way to love our neighbor. And it's very difficult to be in His presence and not be loving outwardly. You see, it's very difficult to do that.

Yeah, because love is not a set of actions. Love is really the essence of where our expression is coming from. So many times we use that as an excuse also, saying 'I'm being harsh but it's coming from a place of love.' You see, now, I don't find that there is safety in that. I don't find myself capable, at least, of being safe in such a manner because it could be genuine the first time, but before I know it, I quickly get used to being right, being superior here. You see, so at least in my case, I feel because I'm such a weak beginner of a spiritual student, I will quickly fall into pride if I say my irritation or my expression of discontentment towards you is fine because it's coming from a place of love. I would find a safer place to be: my expression is loving and it's coming from a place of love.

It's a bigger conversation whether it can always work. Some of us are parents; we may not always be able to have a loving expression although we are mostly coming from a place of love. But I feel like for beginners like me, at least the shield, the safety for my spirituality, is to have a loving expression as well as feeling the love. And maybe it makes us work harder. Like what do we say? 'This one is very stubborn, they don't let go of their concept, so I want to chop it out.' So I started off well as quite choppy, but I don't see that... I feel maybe I'm not capable enough of being that 'axeman' which I was teasingly called at one point. But I didn't find transformation happening as much as you would expect as a result of chopping. Maybe it needs more patience. Maybe it needs more love to take the child, to take the disciple through the lesson in a loving way.

You see, sometimes when I'm talking to other parents, I say: is your expression of anger coming because the child needs it and they really will struggle otherwise, or is it because you don't have the patience to be a parent? It needs a lot of patience. And it's easy to say these things, but—and don't get me wrong—I cannot say that I don't express myself in irritated ways with my children. So, I'm working on it and that's all that any of us can do. But I feel like a patient teacher expressing in a loving way, at least in my experience, has been more effective than a choppy teacher expressing in a harsh way. I feel the clincher for me was when Anandamayi Ma said it very clearly with no disclaimers; then it sort of settled for me, saying that this can quickly become the place where my pride can rest. So I really need to work on this in all my relationships, and I feel that all my relationships now are much better than they were at that point of time.

So when we say in spirituality that fundamentally it's all about us recognizing that more and more—fundamentally it's all about me—I am recognizing that more and more. You see, so when just trying to get back to the original question: when these things happen and we have outbursts, or we don't have outbursts but we see the discomfort of holding a grievance or resentment, look at that as an opportunity. So sometimes what I do is I just say to God, 'God, see this,' because when it's happening, then you can see it. You can spot it like a constriction or something. So, 'Yeah, this one, this is the one I want to hand over to you.' You see, this is the one who is special, this is the one who knows something, who knows better. This is the one. So, 'Thank you, thank you for showing me. This is the one that I want to die at Your feet, to be sacrificed at Your feet,' because he is really the servant of Maya. You see, other Christians may say he's really the servant of the devil.

I was saying to Chandra—some of you were there when we went for the walk—that a life which is devoted to God really is a lot of work. Because we are talking about work versus spirituality, it is a lot of work. It's constant work, much more than what we may take a full-time job to be. So the world's impression that those who are just sadhus or want to be sadhus are jobless is not true. You see, because how many of us are able to transcend 90% of our anger in one lifetime? We've seen many lives come and go in our families, in our friends, and at least I cannot make the report that this one, as I saw their life unfold, they transcended resentment, grievances, anger. Why? Because they didn't do the work. Because the world doesn't consider it to be work. So it's a lot of hard work and we must not shy away from that.

Before, you gave us some water... you know, it used to be that if I'm angry or something, I'm being honest at least. Or like, whatever I was feeling, I didn't see that there was water in there. No, that's not... but once you made us aware that this is not the way, I could see that it's not the way. You know, before you, the mind just said, 'At least I'm honest, at least I'm not faking, you know, at least I'm not saying oh you're so nice when actually I can't stand you.'

Well, fundamentally I feel like it's not even these reasons. I feel the number one reason is: 'But I am right.'

Yeah. Oh, that goes without saying, isn't it?

Yeah. Because that is the shield in which we couch our pride. We couch our bad behavior because 'I am speaking the truth, I am right.' But none of us really knows what is right. Unfortunately, we make judgment calls on right and wrong throughout the day thousands of times. But our intellect really doesn't have the capacity to judge right from wrong. And the only place to know right from wrong is from the place of God's presence, from the heart.

But this really... so when we say that we are sinners, it is a beautiful statement, I'm realizing more and more. Yeah, it's a beautiful statement; that means that I am starting to get some objectivity about my life. Otherwise, I was living in the false rationalization about my life. Now, I'm starting to get some objectivity about my life and my behavior—that I don't have the mechanism really to judge right from wrong. And if only I could follow God's will all the time by being in His presence, could I say that this was right? But I don't do that. But I always have a rational reason for action. But rational reason is a product of intellect and not of true intuitive insight.

So all of us, in a way, before Satsang lived in a sort of La-La Land where everybody feels like there is a lot of conflict in this world, but every side of the conflict is always right. How is that possible, isn't it? So this right and wrong is what couches and provides a shield for this lack of love, which is also called sin. And I see how much lack of love is still in me because I'm starting to see a little bit more clearly now. So like this kind of questioning is a good reflection because that means we are no longer making excuses for ourselves, but we really starting to look. Otherwise, we don't call it resentment; we make ourselves the victim of somebody else wronging us, that 'I'm only firing back because you wronged me.' So love really—true love—holds no grievances. That's a huge statement, like, no grievances.

When I was reading A Course in Miracles, I remember many years back, I made a list of all the people that I could think of that I knew, and I was kind of surprised to see that there was not one of them against whom I didn't have a grievance.

You told us to make a list. What is the list? I've forgotten.

Oh yeah. So then what can happen in the 'guru mode' is that it's very easy for us not to hold grievances against those who put us on a pedestal. You see, because they make us safe anyway. They've accepted a godliness in us and, God forbid, they almost look at us as God. So then it's very difficult to hold grievances against them. You see, that is why it's very important for all teachers to always be in beginner mode and truly as beginners to see what grievances are still being held against everybody around us. Because it's a very clear statement: love holds no grievances. Not 'only justified grievances.' Love holds only justifiable grievances? You see, it doesn't say like that. No grievances. Which is massive. Imagine having no grievances.

Every day we pick up grievances. We gather the grievances and that gathering of garbage then clouds up our inner space, our inner environment, and without realizing, we are dimming God's light in our heart, which leads to more suffering, which leads to more grievances, which leads to more dimming. You see, so that is the vicious cycle. So you break the vicious cycle with the virtuous cycle first. Promise yourself you will not be rude to anybody. It can feel like that. And then all the vasanas in us will want to fight this and will want to run away. 'No, like, his whole thing is too unrealistic. It's too utopian. It's too far out. It's too difficult. Why can't I just know I am the Self and then leave it?' No, it's the Self doing to the Self only. You see, so many times conceptually then absolute statements can come as a sort of relief and feel like 'Oh,' and that relief feels like freedom. Nothing to do.

So the part of me which is still 'me,' you see, then needs all this guidance and instruction. The part of me which is that—never the 'me'—for that, the 'me' never actually happened. So then you feel like, 'But I am that,' which is also true. So what if you're feeling the frustration of spirituality, the trouble of spirituality? Suppose we have a lot of lust or we have a lot of greed for food, you see, and we have to hold ourselves back, and somebody comes and tells us, 'No, it's all the Self, it's all a play, let it unfold.' And that 'let it unfold' sounds like a license to do whatever you want, isn't it? 'Let it unfold' actually means let it unfold from God's will.

But here we say, 'Ah, all this trouble this man was putting me through, but finally it's all the Self.' And of course, the argument can be made the other way also when we're getting too caught up in the spiritual ego—that 'I have to do this, I have to be free from grievance, I have to be free from resentment, I have to be free from lust, I have to be free from all of this stuff.' If we are just building onto the 'I, I, I' too much instead of 'God, God, God' too much, then we may ask this question: does this 'me' even exist? And it doesn't exist. You see, so in our intellect, we can really struggle with this. Is it this way or that way?

We have more faith in the intellect than the heart because the intellect seems to provide us a good sense of what is happening and whether it is right or whether it is wrong. A thought proposes and the intellect disposes. We are not patient enough for the heart to dispose, but a thought will propose and quickly we on our intellect decide. But what if we let go of this intellect and rely on the heart, that is to rely on God's will? Then we can talk about the fact that there is no separate one that was ever born or ever existed. So in that way, love is a very good indicator because you find a lot of loveless conceptual Advaita things in the world who are filled to the brim with conceptual ideas about what spirituality is. But that key they never learn.

I feel it's safe to say that spirituality is a path where we are learning how to love. It cannot be separated into two different paths; you cannot really become spiritual without learning how to love—the ways of love, the ways of the heart. Because if love is truly present unconditionally—not what the world calls love—then I don't feel like there is distance from God. God cannot be distant from the ones that truly love. And then conversely, we have to accept that if we're not loving, then we will feel constricted and blocked in our heart. And as you're struggling with this, this is a very worthy struggle. So don't seek instant relief from it because the burning itself cleans us up and that's what transforms us. If it was just easy, then the transformation would not happen. We would not go from personhood to sainthood without the squeezing. I mean, in God's grace even that is possible, but mostly in the human condition you don't see that.

You have to start somewhere. Suppose you find a particularly resentful relationship that we have, and if you find it very difficult in the outer to take a loving action, then inwardly imagine hugging them. It could be very simple things like that. Inwardly imagine giving them all your love and then you see the magic in this kind of thing. As we change ourselves inwardly, then the outer—sometimes the whole universe can change because of that. In fact, it always does. That's a different Satsang altogether. You wondered why we've all wondered: how is it that exactly what I need to work on shows up in my life? So it's like a very merciful classroom. These challenges come, then there's a little break sometimes, then the challenges come, break sometimes. But hopefully through the challenges we are growing, we are transforming into more loving, true ambassadors of God.

So if we say we are part of a Sangha, we love God, we are spiritual, then we should look at ourselves as ambassadors of God. It's really no point saying, 'Oh, I do so much sadhana, I do this practice, I know this also, I know that also,' but our life is not testimony to true love from God. Isn't it? Start slowly. Start with one. See, 'This one I really resent, but today I give that up.' Even the power of just a determination like that is a lot, and there's no time to waste because our list is long. So that's why I'm saying that if you see most people who are done with the project called life, I don't feel like they would have come to the level of transformation that they themselves may have wanted. That's why their own testimony—there's so many of these articles published all the time—say, 'I wish I was more loving to my family, I spent more time with the people I love.' Basically, it's a lot about love in the last few days because we really realize the true value of things at that time.

My mother died of cancer and her last week... everyone was coming in, and she said, 'Oh my gosh, you know, I wish I had spent more time with my family rather than going to the club.'

And there's so much work that I feel all of us have in front of us. If this stupid boy could touch the lives of a few people, then all of you can touch the lives of so many more. And imagine that even if this small number of people touch these many people, how much more love we spread in the world? So things like the Heart Temple movement, which all of you tried for some time sincerely, but it doesn't have to be formal like that. It can be just in your interactions with people who come to work in your house or people you meet at the office—with anyone. Start the process of changing and then you see very quickly God uses the instruments that are open to spread His light. You see, there's no big interview line. There is no visa line. If you're open to sharing His light, He's open to holding your hand.

Although there's no visa line, there are a lot of temptations. That is what we have to be careful about because pedestals are poison, spotlight is poison. But really I would love it if all of you could just—and I hear reports and I see that many of you are doing in your own ways—start by smiling more at people. Just random strangers. It's okay, some self-consciousness type thing comes. We've talked about it for a long time: if somebody is walking on the road like that, then just give them a smile. Sometimes they may change their thing and just smile and break the clutches of mental oppression for a second, and then they may go somewhere and they may not shout at someone because you made them smile for one moment. We don't know how these things will work, but just our tiny small things, like Cereze said, in the times that we live in, small things is what we can do.

Today on the way I saw somebody with a huge tumor and I remembered in the Guru Purnima Satsang you said if you just decide that you'll only follow God's will then all of this will be... anything that is talked about, which you've been telling us to do, say kindness, anything that is achieved in just that. And I don't know, I keep bringing up these contradictions because at that moment I just... this is what I want to do, I'll drop it, I want to help, I don't... you get what I'm saying? I just drop it. And there's the other side you say is just small acts of kindness even if it's motivated by 'me'.

Yes. So tell me if the sequence is right. You were going along your merry old way. There was no God, nothing. No God's presence, nothing. It was just normal human existence. I'm not attacking, I'm just looking at the sequence. So then this man came and he had this thing, then you wondered, 'Should I do something, should I not do something?' Then you said, 'Let me leave it to God's will' like that?

Like throughout the way I was just doing that, whatever, whatever I want, drop it. And I saw him and then it came like he looked a bit... something on his expression. Yeah, I just didn't do anything, I just dropped. If something did come I don't remember, but I just dropped.

That's fine. So just keep... because the sacrifice of our individual will is actually a very difficult project and it needs constant work. So keep working on that and then what do you find? Once you're not attached to an outcome or you don't really... you're not really attached to anything that you want, then what happens? Yeah. So stay with that. Because that is both a 'something' and a 'no-thing.' Both phenomenal and non-phenomenal. That's why you're not able to get a grasp of it. We're not able to conclusively say... because imagine that if you met your Atma and it turned out to be an object—a very nice shiny object, but an object nevertheless—that'll be quite disappointing because the promise is that it is going to lead to the Nirguna, the ineffable. But if it is an object like this glass, maybe the nicest glass ever made, a diamond glass, then it's just a diamond glass. So it has to have both somethingness about it so we can at least attempt to grasp at it, but mostly a nothingness about it. You see, and that's why the path can seem so difficult at times.

That's good. It's good. So it can feel very difficult at times because if you ask a spiritual seeker who's been at it for 50 years and say, 'Can you conclusively show me what you have found?' We can only provide circumstantial evidence to the events of our lives saying, 'See, now there's more love, there's less...' and they can say, 'But somebody who really wants to be do self-improvement can also do some of these things, what is the evidence of your spirituality?' You see, and because the question of Atma Darshan, Atma Gyan will always rely on faith. Until the other one doesn't have faith, we will not be able to point to them that this is what I have found. That's why in the eyes of the world we will always be losers. You see, 'He could have become something but he is wasting his life on that of which there is no evidence to show.'

You see, so that something which we can't really seem to grasp or even conclusively say that 'Have I really found it?'—that needs a lot of faith. To live on that something-nothingness needs a lot of faith because when push comes to shove, the mind attacks so much that we don't go there at all. And the mind then says, 'All of this is a wave. What have you actually found?' But when you're in a moment of stillness, then the diamond is shining beyond perception. And that makes our life worthwhile. Because without this shining diamond—and it's not... don't visualize, please—without this Atma Jyoti, what is the worth of life? What is it for? Some say it is a dream, it'll finish. Some say it is life to be enjoyed, it will die. Without finding that which is beyond time, which is eternal, which is beyond death, what is the point of life?

And now also there is... if you look at all the different religions, traditions, spirituality in the world, everybody comes to the same point. You see, so either all of these so-called sages, thousands and thousands of them, were all liars or they're pointing us to this immense possibility. So in my eyes, these are the ones who are least likely to lie, like Tulsidas Ji, Mother Teresa, Hanuman Prasad Poddar Ji, Ram Sukhdas Ji—least likely to lie. You can tell just by hearing one sentence out of their mouth how much sincerity they have. You see, so either there's two Mayas—one is attacking like a worldly Maya, the second is like a spiritual Maya and all these people are attacked by spiritual delusion—then we have no hope, we are fully lost either way. You see, then we become nihilistic like Nietzsche or somebody. But I feel, and intuitively I know, that this just rings true.

What just rings true? The reality of God's presence, Atma within, is not a conceptual knowing and it's not a sensory knowing. So it just feels like the truest part of me. Now if that is also ultimately a delusion, then there's nothing really left. And that's why this always needs faith. If you could produce the Atma on an X-ray and just show everyone, then everybody would follow by now. 'The left part of your heart,' like Bhagavan used to say, 'is the source of all life.' If you could show that on an MRI, then done, proof is found. But because it's a question of faith—which means not blind belief but intuitive insight, which is the highest knowledge—you see, that whole path of Jnana Yoga, which is supposed to be the highest path in terms of knowledge, depends on just this intuitive insight, the presence of God. So as you stay with that 'something,' that's the best we can do, and it takes care of everything else.

Let me ask a question. How blessed are we? Not looking very convinced over the answer. How blessed are we that to worship God, to find Him, to be with Him, to love Him or Her as whichever way you want to put it, you don't have to go anywhere. You could be in the fanciest luxury hotel room in the world or you could be in solitary confinement in a prison. The outer circumstances don't matter. You can still meet God because your life, that which gives us life, is God Himself. And within ourselves, that which we call within ourselves is really a temple of God, or has the potential to be a temple of God. So how blessed are we that God is here and we therefore are then temples of God?

But like any loving parent, He's given us the freedom to be a temple to whatever we want because He doesn't want to force the love. So what will we become a temple to? Whatever we... I'm not getting a better word, but whatever we obsess about, that is what we will become a temple to. What we dwell on then becomes where we dwell. Isn't it strange? If you're always dwelling on anger, anger, anger, we become angry as people. If we become loving, if we keep thinking of love, love, love, we become loving. Thinking God, God, God, we become godly. And some may go as far as to say that the line that separates God and me seems very difficult to find.

So if our dwelling on whatever is the mode of temple construction, then we have to be very careful with what we dwell on. Isn't it? Because if you're building a temple of God—love, love, love—and then anger, resentment, pride... so then what happened to those bricks? You see, can it be allowed there? No, we have to clean it up. And all this cleaning, I'm saying we have to and all of that, but ultimately it happens by God's grace, but with our intent. Both are important. So clean, clean, clean. Love, love, love. What is Brother Lawrence's book? 'Practicing the Presence of God.' So that is the best way of temple construction, or one of the best ways of temple construction. The bricks are being laid in this love, in the holy presence.

You see, then something irritates you. You see, so pause. And then you try to build some other... 'I am right.' When you say 'I'm right,' you're building a temple to whom? Ego. So when both these temples can coexist in a happy marriage? It can't happen. But when we are in that moment when I want to be so right, it does feel like a Ravana temple, you know? So yeah, you get a sense of it. Then we have this immense responsibility and capability. It's all right. So we have this immense responsibility because we could build a walking, breathing, talking temple of God. What is Satsang? The attempt is for a temple of God to speak in Satsang. And all of you can be the walking, breathing, talking temple of God, which means just immersed in God's presence and therefore sharing God's light.

Instead, actually, that statement reminded me of one thing: what is the ego's highest desire? Ravana wanted to become God. Kansa wanted to become God. All the villains in all the scriptures wanted to attain a godlike stature as themselves. Adam and Eve wanted to know for themselves instead of following God's will. So we want to lose that childlike innocence and then stand on our own feet. It seemed like such a good thing to do. But to be carried by God is much better than standing on our own feet. So then ego really wants to be worshiped as God. You see, that's why this path of spirituality is full of so much temptation, especially after you start sharing, to feel like 'I am being worshiped now' or 'I can be worshiped now.' So I have attained godhood, but I really haven't. So the temple to 'me' is what most of us want to construct.

But we want to be loved by everybody.

Sure. But everybody wants to be loved. But what did we think of being loved before we became spiritual? Being admired, approved, being treated as right, being put on a pedestal—all these kind of things.