To Live Open and Empty – Is to Live in God’s Will - 4th October 2023

That is why I first heard this: Bhagavan said both Gana and Bhakti are two wings of a bird. I said that's very beautiful. If you're a Bhakta, you flap that way and Gana will come; if you're of Gana temperament, then you flap that way and Bhakti will come. Very simplistically. But as I'm deeper in the insight of God and I'm more and more awed by it, I'm realizing the amount of times that I still pick to live on my own terms. To jump to a conclusion, automatically determine that 'this would be better' instead of actually waiting for God to show me or God to move me. If He moves me, then that's fine. And if He shows me and it sounds difficult, even better. I noticed that I can't say that I do it all the time—that I'm truly following His will all the time, that I'm truly living empty of identity all the time. We become so sensitive to the falls that even a moment here and there will seem like it is too much. Is it too much to leave God's hand and decide or pick for yourself?

So yes, no trouble, no doubt in the insight part of it. I feel like your natural humility, openness, and inquiring temperament are all there. You've done the inquiry well and what is true is apparent to you. But the servitude part is the work in progress for this one—for all of us. I don't feel like anyone will ever be able to give us a certificate and say '100% in servitude.' I don't feel like that is possible, actually. Even for insight, it's not true that we can say 100%, but for most of you, I'm quite happy to say that after so many years, I must be doing something wrong if it is not apparent that you are aware, and this awareness has no attributes and qualities and it is unchanging. All the support has been provided so that you can come to that insight.

I grew up in a family where we used to pray all the time. All the pictures are there on my shelf and every day I pray. I also feel that it's Grace. But every time I come back after long gaps when I'm traveling, I feel a trigger. Even in earlier Satsang, you stressed that it's apparent for you and it's so great, and I can feel it living in me—why can't you see it? Why are you still distracted? And then in my mind, I think if what he says is true, I should be jumping in joy. But as a person, I don't get too excited. So the mind tells me that for you, it is supposed to be long. These answers keep coming. But I also realize our other scriptures talk about it—this life you've got to get it. Tulsidas Ji says try to do it when your body is warm. If there's something wrong, if this is not the life for it, then take it, give me another one quickly and get me there. I don't want to waste it. I just felt I should open it up.

Very good. This one who doesn't want to waste it also will want like a risk-free life. And it can be very simple, actually. Radha was coming on the auto-rickshaw; she felt like she wanted to sing out loudly God's praises. Then she happily sent me that report, but then the self-consciousness came: 'What will he think? What will people think?' If that is God's will, but I'm scared to do it—that is the risk. It doesn't have to mean that my neck is on the guillotine all the time. Sometimes in these small moments, God says, 'No risk, no faith.' This is what I mean. God can guide us in any way. Now the mind has a very useful tool called denial. It will tell you, 'Suppose God said that, that must have been my mind.' You get the guidance in your heart. Are you fully available for that? What is the boundary of your faith? Be very suspicious when immediately your answer is 'there is no boundary.' That means you need to contemplate deeper, because even the highest sages had boundaries. The extent of what they could instantly surrender to God sometimes would need some deep contemplation.

That's why I get a bit suspicious when it just seems like everything is too fine. There must be something we are risking still, because the one who wants to grasp is happier to grasp more and more but not happy to risk. He's not happy to give up. We can just use this as a contemplation: if while going back home from Satsang today God said 'X,' and I would not want to do it, what would that 'X' be? What is that list of 'X'? That determines my boundary as a true Bhakta, as a true servant of God. Then our spiritual life becomes full of fire and authenticity. We've gone from a self-serving spirituality—which is saying 'What am I getting? Am I getting it? Do I have peace? Is my family happy?'—into 'How is my life in servitude to God?' If God said, 'Leave everything and go to the Himalayas,' and I would say no, then where is that spot where we become the arbiter of good and bad? Where we say, 'I know better, even if it is clear it is from God, no, that's too much. I didn't sign up for that.' That's very important to highlight for ourselves.

The Abraham example is very poignant. God said, 'Sacrifice your son that you had with such great difficulty after waiting for 25 years.' It's an absurd story because it's absurd in every way—that God would ask us to do such a thing is beyond imagination. It's wrong on every caliber of morality and ethics. Really, just contemplating that story brings it up. If you say, 'No, I can't do it, it's morally wrong,' then we are saying morality is higher than God. It determines what we have determined as God for us. This is the beauty of this. When we hear things like 'we must just follow God's will all of the time,' I was speaking to a friend, Aminder, and I was very fiery with him. I told him, 'You're wasting the opportunity to live in God's will, and Guru Nanak Ji said that is the most important thing.' He asked me, 'Are you saying that I'm not living in God's will?' I said, 'Have you met God? How do you know His will?'

So many people have just conveniently used the notion that 'everything is God's will' to just... and although everything is God's will, everything is not God's will. There must be something why all the greatest sages and prophets have told us that we must follow God's will. If it's just happening on its own, they won't tell us. It's like the sages telling us, 'You must keep breathing,' but it's happening on its own. Why would they tell us something which didn't require anything for us to contemplate or do? Were they oblivious to the fact that everything happens in God's will? They were not. Why is it that every culture, every religion, we put those who were willing to do anything for God's devotion on top of the pile in terms of their holiness?

But they also give a list of things that is God's will.

That is a provisional list. While you're waiting to meet God, just make sure you keep following this stuff. But it's not a replacement. It's like saying, 'Before you get to oxygen here, here is a provisional oxygen tank for you to use.' So: love your neighbor as yourself, love God with all your mind—all these things are provisionally what has been given to us until we come to a point of meeting God and the ability to follow Him moment to moment. The point of insight many times gets confused to be, 'Okay, I now came to that insight, awakening done, now I'm free to do what I want.' In that, again, the mind becomes the winner. What has the mind always wanted? Whatever it wants. Every kid in the world is saying, 'Whatever comes to my mind, I should be able to do that.' That is freedom for them. They don't realize there is no such thing as 'I want.' Either we want what the mind wants or we want what God wants. There is no other signal coming to you besides your mind and your heart. Even when we think we are living on our terms, we are just living on the mind's terms. We have to be in servitude either to the mind or to God. The sooner we accept that, the better it will be for us. The pride gets squeezed out of us that actually we are in servitude now—you can just pick the Master.

Father, from the last few months, moving from armchair spirituality, the thing that's hit me hard is the denial bit. Especially last Satsang when you mentioned about how the mind can use prayer as an Advaita excuse or denial. I saw something here and it felt like a complete Advaita excuse for sure. You'd rather sit and worry about it than pray about it. I thought, 'How can I ask? Whatever is the highest will, God will do.' But that means there is a complete end of worry. If that is true, what is there for me to ask? But the mind uses that conveniently just when we are about to go to God with our worry and say, 'Please God, help me with this.' The mind says, 'No, no, you stay with me, we'll worry about it, we'll resolve this.' My mother is very religious and devoted to rituals, and there's been a little tussle regarding servitude and prayer. My mom would push me to do this havan or that puja. I realize that's a trigger for me. Is it to increase God's servitude to us or our servitude to Him? It feels like wish-fulfillment. I find it... I don't know if you can clarify if there's a little arrogance here.

God will tell you. That's what I'm saying—there is no decision you need to make. God can tell you. To follow God's will is not about deciding which way I will follow God's will; it's about following now. What stops God from guiding you now? This is the reason why I'm refusing to answer all these questions about what to do for the past week, because I want you all to build this capacity. Sooner or later, this expression is going. I don't want you to be reliant on this expression. This expression is now guiding you to learn. 'Should I do the puja? Should I do the havan?' Ask God. Ask, 'Would this be in service to You?' and wait for His answer.

Father, there's a dilemma. What's coming in between is my need to obey my mother. If she says do it, I would do it, but something in my heart is like... I would do it because she's asked me. Does God's will align with her will? That's the dilemma.

What is the worst-case scenario? Just paint the picture. What would happen if you don't follow? You're not chanting or praying in her way already, right?

I start to as she says, and then something here is very resistant to the act of doing it. I'd rather be quiet and just sit. She's saying japa and it just happens, and then I feel there is some sense of, 'Am I not following God because my mom might be just saying it through His mouth? Am I being arrogant?'

I'm solving it in the sense that you don't have to speculate anymore about what is God's will. We don't even have to be scriptural about it, although if it is not apparent to us, then let's be scriptural. We can meet His will moment to moment. What if in His will it turns out that He wants you to do exactly what she told you to do? Let's not do it just because Mom has been saying it. But you said there are two options: mind or heart. Which one is it?

Heart, definitely.

Follow that. That's God's will. But just make sure it's heart. It's not coming from a space of rebellion or 'I will not do it because you told me.' You are already in servitude to her. What is the test we are using to determine that it is from the heart? Another child told me she was grappling with a decision. I said, 'What is your heart saying?' She said, 'The heart is fine about it.' I said, 'No, "fine about it" means: is the heart guiding you to do this, or did you take your decision to the heart and ask if it's chill with it?' It's subtle. Is it the convenient way to live on our own terms—which is the mind's terms—and say 'I got the sign-off from the heart'? Why can we not let God move us or God tell us?

What is the test? You said if it's done slowly and you're not identified... what are the pointers?

One thing is the presence of unconditional love. That can be a test. If the presence is apparent to us, or the most foolproof is that which is only ever intuitively possible: the apparency of the Self. We are not good at juggling mind and intuition together. We can pretty much say that if the true Self is apparent to us and we are not identified with the falls, then you can trust the guidance that is coming from there.

And would you say if there were fear or anger, then it's very evident that the Self is not apparent?

A feeling can be there, but there's no identification with that. It's just perception. Why don't we just wait for God to move us or to tell us? When I say 'move us,' if you are the whole universe, then He moves us. If you are taking yourself to be the body, that moves us. It's just a discomfort of not knowing what is my next move. 'Can I go to Badrinath or no? Tickets are filling up, it's going to be crowded. God is taking too long, so let's go to the next best option.' Why don't we just try it out? At Badrinath, hopefully, we are going to learn how to be in His light and follow His will. The mind rushes: 'This is happening, what are you waiting for?' Waiting for God. There's no better way to be than empty for God. We can only wait by being empty for God, isn't it? Without that emptiness, God is never in a rush. In one wave of His hand, He'll make all the buses empty or full. He doesn't even have to wave.

When the mind rushes, or events happen—'this one is asking, that one is asking'—we think, 'Father, what if God is not in a rush but my time is running out? God doesn't know.' We live in a sort of severe underestimation of God's magnificence. If you take yourself to be the body, He will know the sound of every heartbeat that you've taken in your life, every breath and its duration. Do we know ourselves even if we take ourselves to be the body? We don't. It's not an intelligence that we can compete with at all. The amount of grace, mercy, and sheer intelligence which makes this universe function is nothing for Him. We must never get this idea that God doesn't realize my situation or urgency. He realizes you much more than we can ever do. The whole of time is laid out in front of God to pick from. Past, present, future—nothing for Him. Every breath, every heartbeat is apparent to Him.

So we don't need to educate Him about our situation, never. It can be childishness, but it should never become arrogant, thinking 'You don't know what's happening to me.' Then who knows? This unreliable memory and mind interpretation? He knows everything. He knows all our weaknesses, all our areas of pride and areas of true servitude and love. Everything is only in His light. We have to play this game somehow—to hand over what is already His to Him. Nobody has come to a Satsang and not understood it here, but when it comes to actually handing it over, that is the boundary. That is where we draw the line and say, 'No, no, my life can't go that way.' But whose life is it? Didn't you just say that all of our life is God's or Guru's? Who has made sight that we can see? Who has made hearing, taste, touch? Who has designed all of this beauty?

A scientist can talk about the 'how,' but what is the intelligence that guides all of that? Can evolution happen to an unintelligent presence? No. This is the human folly: we've taken the non-existent one and given it primacy, and we don't spend time to meet the glory of God. It is much more than our mind can imagine. We feel like God can help us with our future, but our past is set in stone. You don't know how many times He's gone and fixed your past. Past and future are nothing for Him. You may not even remember because it's removed from our memory. Our idea of God is very limiting because we have learned to limit everything. We made it very linear. He is the Consciousness which is there, who knows you better than your own presence.

Some say, 'When I meditate, I can visit any part of my past, or I can do astral travel, I can go to the edge of the universe.' How come? It is because Consciousness is here. Usually, I don't talk about these things because they sound esoteric and the mind can get attracted to having experiences. I want to keep it very clean and for God. But because we keep it very straight, it does not mean that we have normalized God. All our scientific temperament has not been able to tell us what keeps these so-called molecules together to operate as a body. Many in India say Krishna lives in the 16th dimension. Can any mind fathom a 16th dimension? Somewhere they got an intuitive insight that the universe is much more than what we are presently perceiving. We must not regularize God into just some being with special powers. He's the light and breath of this universe.

One thing I've noticed in this confusion of heart and mind is when we are here and we come up with our narrative, you chop it and say, 'Okay, what does your heart want?' In that moment, it comes very clearly. But when you're on your own, the back-and-forth is so much that the chopping instrument is not easily available. I was in a workshop where we looked into a stranger's eyes and the prompt was 'Who are you pretending to be?' When I looked into that person's eyes, the truth just came out. If I would have asked that to myself, I don't think it would have been as obvious. Noticing that over here also, when you look at us and ask, it just comes out.

We need a hotline, is what I'm saying. I'm half-joking about the next level of the game. I'm feeling that my job now is to get you to deepen in your faith to follow this practice in the small decisions—tiny, tiny decisions. Just learn to follow God in the smallest thing. We believe that we must only follow Him in the big decisions of our life, that we must not waste His time in the small things. No, moment to moment He wants to guide you.

I remember one time I was sitting by the riverside in Australia. It was really nice. I'm looking at the sea; there seems to be no desire, no thought at that moment. Only later on I can reflect back that there was nothing I was wanting, nothing chasing, no regret. Just a very serene moment. Are you trying to say that at some time your ego is so simplified, or the residual ego that remains is what you are then putting in service of God so that it doesn't become a problem?

Hopefully not 'XYZ,' but God. We'll talk more about that. Within the mind is what is desire. A thought may come; it may say, 'I want margarita pizza.' Does the appearance of the thought itself make it desire? No, because any thought can come. A thought seems to be perceived only when attention is on it. Therefore, in many spiritual paths, they will give your attention something else to do so you don't engage with that—you may chant a mantra. The surrender path is more that whatever thought may come to your attention, just let it go. Make it God's problem or your Guru's problem. What are we not giving to the thought at that moment? Attention is on it, you notice it, but what is the other part? The ability to give it truth value, to give it ascent, which we call belief. When we believe a thought, it is grasping at something. That is what we call desire.

When we believe a thought which is saying 'this should not happen to me,' we call that aversion. When a thought comes and says, 'Oh, you asked that question really well,' and you believe it, that becomes pride. If you believe a thought saying you didn't express well, it becomes guilt. This is how most of the human condition functions. To allow ourselves to be empty of all of these conditions, empty of the grasping through belief... the Zen master said beautifully: 'Thoughts are visitors, allow them to come and go.' I'm adding this: to notice that they are coming and going needs our attention. Thoughts are visitors; let them come and let them go, don't serve them tea. That tea is the tea of our belief, our truth value. In that moment is a full clean slate.

That's why all of us want to take vacations—because we can get away from our mind. We have a beautiful time because we looked at a mountain and the mind didn't have a defense for the mountain in that moment. You look at the mountain for five minutes, it'll have 'this was better, that is better.' But in that instant when we encounter something which the mind is not prepared for, many times it's just blank. We love that blank. We travel, we spend millions to meet a moment of that blank. That is what 'open and empty' is. We are realizing that the problem is not external, the problem is internal. To live like that is to live open and empty. How does open and empty overlap with living in God's will? Very inherently. Firstly, God is not apparent when we are not open and empty. As you are open and empty, 99% of the time God moves you. You don't have to decide. He moves the decision. 'Should I make the trip?' God is moving your hands, He is booking the tickets. We don't have to rush to the 'tell us' part; we have to first get used to the 'move us' part. He is doing everything.

There's a question: 'Will you reignite the spark in my heart? I have no interest in playing out any other stories.'

That is the spark. You have no interest in playing out any other story—then that is the igniting of the spark. That means the glimmer of light is already there. It is calling you, because only when that is there do we leave all our stories. Otherwise, we hang on to at least one. We can only leave it all if there is at least a sliver of God's light being apparent to us. It's always there, of course, in full force, but when we are clouded under the narratives, it seems to go missing. Follow your heart and like this, it will take over your whole life. If that sounds scary—'what will take over my whole life?'—then it's meant to be. Really then our life becomes, to paraphrase JFK: 'Ask not what God is doing for you, but ask what you are doing for God.' How can you do something for God? You can live in His light. You can follow His will. You cannot go to the mind. If you live egotistically, you spread ego. If you live in God's light, you spread God. That is in service to Him. Whatever we do is contagious. If you live in servitude, you live in God's light.

Don't expect immediate results, especially with partners and home situations, but it is bound to. For most of the world, it may seem far-fetched: 'How can I invite God? How can God sit in my heart altar?' But for you, it is not. To empty yourself for God is not far-fetched for any of you. That's our job. Not open and empty so that my life can become better, but empty so that whatever remains of me is used by Him—used to love Him, to be in service to Him, to follow His will.

Father, what you were saying about it being scary... when you think it through, I feel that it's far more scary to be without this. After insight, it is impossible. It is far more scary because I feel then that I would just be going through motions. Clarity comes in a very deep way and there's no question then.

Very beautiful what you're saying, because the texture of this faith is very elevating. I don't want to say joyful, although it is joyful, because then we'll start grasping at joy. But it's very elevating versus the texture of anxiety and fear about 'me,' which is very degrading. When we are truly, with integrity, making ourselves available for God to use, we know in our heart that that is elevating. But when we descend down to, as Guruji says, the 'gutter of the mind'—'What do I want? This, that'—that's very degrading. The mind can take anything, even enlightenment, to be 'the precious.' That one must be brought into servitude while there is time. Because if that one starts to sit on the throne of the 'enlightened one,' big trouble.

If we call Him, will He come? Will you accept the answer without any more 'but' and 'if' or 'then'?

Retain that. Just remain in that innocence. If you call Him, He will come. Regarding that auto-rickshaw example of Radha: she wanted to sing bhajans, but then the situation of 'Oh, maybe I shouldn't because ABC.' Is it usually the case that the second thing that follows—the checker, the 'but,' the 'if'—is usually the mind?

It feels like a complete spaciousness and naturalness, and suddenly when the mind comes, there's that very distinct contracted mind voice and a very distinct flavor change. It is palpable. But just a question—don't chop me—just sharing that maybe arrogance would be coming from a space of a lot of openness? I don't think it was contracted. Extreme arrogance itself would feel expanded. People who come from that space of authority, as if they are giving the final judgment like God...

Actually, not in my experience. If you look at people who are like that, how is their face? Is it open, expansive? Usually, I've seen the face... that's where the question is coming from. Some of us have built enough mental defenses, like a life philosophy in our head, so we feel like we are very settled and we feel like we are living that. But I've seen all of those crumble. Imagine living like that. If we come across someone who is like that—full of arrogance, full of pride—we must look at them more like patients than as bad people. Because to live a life without living in God's light is like a dead man walking. He may not see it, and that is the power of Maya. We must pray for them in the same way that God has taken this useless one, full of arrogance and pride and all kinds of stupidity, and He's graced him with His presence. In the same way, we must pray for our brothers and sisters. That way we will never make it about somebody's blocks.

What's the thin line between pride and confidence? How can you define it? If you cross the line, on one end it is a good thing and the other end is the bad thing. Just because I don't want to have pride, I mean... what if you had neither confidence nor pride?

Do I have confidence? I don't know whether I have confidence. Do I have strength living in God's presence? Yes. But would I call that confidence? I don't know. Confidence also sometimes sounds like 'I forget how foolish I am,' which I don't want to forget. So maybe it is not. Just be empty—it is better than proud or confident. Demolish that whole construct. Certain things come naturally to everybody. For an artist, music or a sketch—at some level they know that is happening through them, and they're aware of it. That can be put in the bucket of confidence. I'm just saying, where does this... because even that is a mind which says, 'No, I don't want to even acknowledge that I'm good.' You get where I'm coming from.

Is it the sort of Advaita denial to deny that you're good at something? I'm saying that that affirmation—'I'm good at something'—if it is coming from the heart, it can be taken for that moment to be true. But if it is coming just egoically, mentally, then it can be taken to be egoic. In Germany, they have some 60 more emotions than we do in English. It's not that in the human condition we are not going through those things; it's just that they've looked at it more subtly. We don't have to rely on those determinations unless they are intuitive. If my heart tells me, 'That was a good Satsang,' like it often does, then I feel so much gratitude. 'Thank you for using this instrument in this way.' But if my head tells me, 'Oh, that was really good, man, you're good,' you see? Is that confidence or pride? I'm saying don't venture in that playground. Stay in the heart, which will keep you in humility and gratitude.

When it comes from the heart that it was a good Satsang, I don't find a claimant here for the sharing. I don't find a claimant here saying 'I.' When I tell the kids in the AV team we should keep this as the main highlight, I'm just feeling that this instrument was able to express from the heart some things that I've not been able to express in the past. But it's not about... at least I hope all of you can see that it is not possible to share this from any individual capacity. The kind of things that come, what reveals itself... I'm also contemplating it as it is coming. Sometimes something immediately sounds so new and fresh and I'm also contemplating, 'Is it like that?' To take credit for what emerges in Satsang would be the stupidest thing the mind could do. Strangely, that is what many get stuck in, and then that becomes a spiritual ego: 'I am sharing pure Advaita.' It sounds yucky to me. I would be very careful even of that confidence.

These days I'm not able to go to the second step only, like the Bhakti thing. I thought God would be something I would perceive. It's not so. Nothing I perceive. Before, if I perceived it, then I would think I could stop doing the prayer and try doing the love thing. You don't perceive any love? No. But what happens is you do the 'lay' part, it becomes all empty and you lose any sense of individuality. There's some peace kind of thing, but it's a peace that is not loving.

Love is also there, I think. I don't mean to corner you. Sometimes the mind creates these situations where we feel like we are stuck. If you notice that there's a peace after the chanting, then use that as love. It's okay.

And how do I send it to this thing that I can't perceive?

I love your questions. I'm laughing along with you. What do you want to send love to? God. And God is not perceived. If you're not directing it anywhere else, it'll go to God. This is the package: if you don't put any other address on it, it'll go to God. Actually, it's even more beautiful that you could direct it anywhere, but as long as it's not based on conditions of how they are to you, it's clearly unconditional. Whether it's to your brothers and sisters of the world or it is undirected, it goes to God as long as it is unconditional.

Father, initially it was very easy and beautiful—love and silence and everything. Then it became like a practice, and then it just started feeling very distracted. After one time, the mind would just go somewhere. The prayer feels mechanical in a sense. Love is there, but it feels mechanical.

The nature of most things is that initially the mind likes newness, so it's collaborating with you. But it doesn't like it for long, especially when it is under attack. When it stops being new, then it starts to feel bored, irritated, distracted. We have to work through that phase.

Father, now what is happening is that I see it happening subconsciously. When I'm sleeping, I would suddenly get up or turn around and the prayer is happening. Early morning, when I'm waking up, the prayer is already happening. But a conscious effort to sit and do is not happening.

Stop already! His gifts are apparent. If you can wake up... how do we usually wake up? We wake up with the mind attacking, saying 'this has to be done, that has to be done.' You are saying that you wake up and just notice that the prayer is there, the chanting is there. That already is such a beautiful gift.

Sometimes there is a sense of void or emptiness very constantly that keeps coming. I don't know whether it comes from the heart or what it really means. Is it a calling or a longing? I sometimes feel very directionless. It's totally empty and the void is so strong, it has a very strong magnetic pull. It feels that whatever stuff I'm doing in the external world, there's no meaning in that, and I'm just being sucked into that void. I don't know where it's coming from or if it's okay.

Yes, it's very good. It can happen that your attention is somewhere and suddenly, unexpectedly, something just withdraws. Now, does that withdrawal seem auspicious in your heart? Sometimes it can bring anxiety because the mind comes and says, 'But what's happening to you?' Not in that sense, but maybe like 'Maybe I'm not using my time in a proper way' because you just feel like going inward. Who is there inside? No one is there, Father, just space. Once you learn how to withdraw from the world—and in this beautiful way your heart is teaching you—many people need a lot of practice before they can withdraw. You're finding that because there's a strong longing for the truth, you find yourself easily able to withdraw from the world and sit inwardly.

I want to tell you that beyond the perception of void and empty is the Eternal Being, and you are aware as the Absolute Self even of this Eternal Being. Who inside is God's presence in the Absolute Self? I cannot imagine a better use of your time. The mind tempts you: 'What are you doing? You're just sitting, wasting time.' But Guruji, after he had his awakening with Papaji, for many months he was just sitting. After I came from Rishikesh after meeting Guruji, for many months I was just sitting. The mind came with the same thing: 'You're just wasting time.' Family was starting to get worried. But it is the most auspicious thing to happen.

The 'wasting time' is more in a sense that I'm not using it in a proper way for my heart's desire—to go to God.

And you're withdrawing from that, and where you're going is the heart. Keep going like that and give me a report. I'll make sure that it's not confusing you. Kabir Ji said something which means that in every heart there is Ram, in every body there is Ram. Initially, even if it feels like 'I'm going within my body to find the heart which is the altar for God,' it's fine. Although you realize fairly quickly that you're not going within the body—it's not like an x-ray machine—provisionally it's fine. It's very, very rare to meet God in His universality without meeting God in the presence in your heart. That's why we also call it the Satguru presence. It is the Satguru aspect of God, the Holy Spirit, in whose light we see that which is otherwise unknown. Now that which is beyond our senses becomes apparent to us.

As you pointed out, Father, the one who was asking—this one needs to be in servitude. I see a lot of that. The seeing itself is now not the problem, but the concern is that there's concern about that.

Whatever you have, make that available for God. You don't have to pick and choose. You don't have to say, 'Oh, that part is gone because of insight, that me is no longer there, so that is fine, the rest of it I'll put.' No, everything. Everything.

As we are on the path of Truth, the rule of being in this hall is totally different. When we go out, we get merged in this world. I am nowadays facing four or five civil court cases. Past many years we were just going smoothly with patience. We are dealing with duplicators; they have got our trademark by giving bribes. The main judge took a big bribe, and the order he passed was like the opposite party narrated it. We have been users of that trademark since 1973. Sometimes the heart still wants to go on the way we are dealing, but the mind tells us, 'You have to deal with them the way they are dealing.'

It's a tough lesson because the mind wants an eye for an eye—an equal exchange. It seems fair in the world, but actually, our job is very difficult now. What is our job? To love the enemy. It's very difficult, of course, because you feel so attacked. Can we love the enemy but hate their sin? Hate their sin means that which is blocking them from living in God's light: pride, arrogance, greed. How can you bring that sin to light? Ask for God's guidance for that. All of everyone here is our brother and sister. Some are more misguided than others. I will give you two options: either follow your heart and whatever it is saying, or lose the case. The 'eye for an eye' option is not there. In that way, you become unexploitable.

A child came the other day; she was saying that someone she trusted very much has been regularly stealing from her. She was saying, 'I feel so exploited.' But if someone takes my money, how are they exploiting me? Compared to what is valuable that has been found here, what is some paper and plastic? How will anyone exploit me? God lives in my heart. I'm not saying that we must close our eyes to their egotism, to their blocks, to their sin. We can still put our attention on that and ask for guidance as to how to deal with that, how to bring that brother or sister out of that condition for their own sake. But do it out of love for them. It's not easy. Somebody's attacking you tooth and nail and some man sitting here saying 'love them' can seem like very difficult advice. But try it. Inwardly send all love and all blessing: 'May you heal from this condition.'

My heart says that I should continue my legal fight and I should go straight.

Only if they succeed in making us like them, then that is the infection I'm talking about. Egotism is infectious; God's light is infectious. If their actions make us believe that we have to become like them—it always starts off with 'I will be like them with them'—but then it becomes your persona before you even realize it. You lost your innocence, lost your openness, and just became like them. And the mind is winning. What is it that we can handle better than God can? We cannot find that thing. There are many things that we want to handle because we are scared of what will happen if you give it to God.