How to Serve God? - 5th October 2023

I don't mean it like innocence. I mean it like how this is, like without anything. I really feel like that, without anything. Only then I'm able to meet Him in a broken way. I'm not able to meet Him in a smart way.

Yes, I completely understand what you're doing, what you're saying, completely. I was just saying that initially, what the mind can very smartly do is that, 'Okay, it's not possible this way, so now this is the way.' I'm just saying that how do you meet this instant? How do you meet this instant? Do you have to be a certain way? No, it's inevitable, this meeting. So in this instant, the instant arises from the presence itself, you see. After the arising, all of that, we have the capacity to delude ourselves, which is the avoiding. So what is the capacity to delude ourselves? Any label, any interpretation that we make.

So what you're saying is that before going into any of that, He's already here.

Yeah, that's the key. Yeah.

Not according to how I have...

Correct, because all that is later. All that is post factum. So this is the servitude you're talking about, to just be in presence?

Yes, because till you meet the Master, who will you serve? Without the presence, who are we serving? There is some speculation about what God's will is, or some moral standard or ethical standard about how to serve Him, which is fine. If you haven't met Him, then we must follow those. But once you meet the Master directly, the Lord directly, then He can tell you.

Why do I feel... yeah, I haven't... I'm still to meet God. I feel I haven't met God and I don't know, I can't meet. And there is this whole thing that follows one after the other: 'I won't be able to meet, I'm the one...'

If you feel that you've not met God, then the only thing we must do is remain empty for God. It's not that we are entitled. That's why I told her that you are 33, but if you had to wait 33,000 years to meet Him, you're still not entitled to Him. You cannot place a demand and say, 'Why haven't I met God yet?' Only we can... we really have to realize our insignificance first. That's when the entitlement will go. It's just like a grain of sand telling the human, 'Why haven't you come and met me yet?' The human... if the grain of sand could talk and say, 'I have waited 10,000 years for you to come, you see, and play with me on the beach,' the human will say, 'What makes you so entitled? Why should I come to you?' You see? So we have to realize that His appearance is His grace and mercy on us. It's not our right. And another... this is another trouble that happens in making it Consciousness and awareness. You look there, just Consciousness, so we just make it into a regular scientific, like biochemical reaction or something. You're not entitled to it. And I said the other day that, I mean, imagine that we can invoke God. Like, we can in this human, we can say 'God' and God will come. Are we grateful for that? Yeah, like blue. I'm grateful that we have the ability at least to call on Him, to invoke Him. As I was telling a very important conversation yesterday, we started some... he said, 'Can you confirm my insight because it seems very clear, it seems very obvious?' So I told him that for you and most of you, I have no doubt about the insight. It is the servitude part which I want to push you more.

When I heard you are here, instead of being happy that I'm meeting my Father, I get to meet my Father, I'm concerned that, 'Oh, why did Father not tell me?' This is what the mind tells us.

What you're saying is that you end up believing that emotion.

It's still sticky, Father. I can't... it's still juicy.

Yeah, it's still... what you're conveying in some sense is that you're hostage to it because it's juicy. No, I'm saying, are you free from it or hostage to it?

I'm still hostage to it.

That is never true. Because it still has juice, Father? Juice doesn't determine hostage. Juice determines a big gun. Let's slow down. So the criminal comes with a big gun. Can it force you to be scared of him and follow him? It cannot force. It's a bigger gun, bigger gun. But we are expecting it to not be juicy.

Yeah, should...

It's never not juicy. There will always be something juicy. 'The thought should come and it should not have juice.' It's like for any of you kids, like if I hear tomorrow Parth doesn't want to come to Satsang, that has some juice. If it comes here like, 'Oh, but why does Parth not want to come to Satsang?' You know what? It has some juice. So things... the mind will always offer juicy material. It's not ever to become like, 'No, you're good.' But what is our job? Our job first is not to expect it to be easy. Every step is going to be tough. Every step is going to be a... if you expect it like that, then when it is easy, that is a bonus and it is His grace and mercy. But when you're expecting it to be easy, when difficult things come, then we say, 'No, from...' So expect... that's why I've been saying it's not easy.

You said this to us in Rishikesh also, Father, that my mind is very hard. She said, 'Accept that it's going to be hard, your mind can't fight with you.' So it's going to be hard.

Who had it easy? Buddha almost died in the Sadhana. He came to the verge of death. 'I'm going to find God.' So he fasted, fasted so many days, eventually fully, then only bones left. Who had it easy? You think he would not have had societal pressure? He left his kingdom and wife and family. Who has it easy? It's expected. Also remember the one-two punch. It'll tempt you with something, but the two punches were: it says, 'You're really not there, you've not learned anything, you are this.' So it makes the two punches the knockout punch because we end up holding on to that instead of rushing back to God. It tried the punch, it was well clear. You can tell the mind, 'Well clear,' and run back to God. Then next he'll try, 'Well played.' Instead of judging yourself, saying 'I'm not there yet, I'm not this yet, I'm not that yet,' it's more of pain.

What's pain? Pain is that I have the insight of God, but I can see the entitlement. Like, I see it in small, small things. And I don't value God as much as I should.

Because no one values God as much as they should, not even me. I'm also learning every day to value Him more and more. But look at it this way: suppose you were invited to this house and there was a, like, a flesh-eating monster in this house. So you open the door, you enter, you know, one foot was behind, but the rest of it, the flesh-eating monster just ate up the minute you entered. So only that one foot, a little bit, is left, you see. Now if that one foot keeps saying that 'I had the Darshan of that monster and I should be this way now and I should be that way now,' you laugh at it like it's nothing but a silly leg which is left behind. So look at... there can never be anyone who actually says 'I had the insight,' because the one who had the insight is no longer there. It's got eaten up by the insight. The one who was seeking the insight, the 'me,' you see, gets eaten up. Like Guruji says, 'The one who starts the inquiry is killed by the inquiry,' you see. So the one who had the insight is eaten up by the insight. There is... that one is not left. That one who is the claimant to the insight is the one that must remember that it is a stupid, worthless beggar. Only basis in his life is His ability. You do serve God. How to be? All the steps: humble, humble, nothing, nobody.

I have a concept of it. No, it's good. I'm very glad I have a concept of servitude.

How are you serving God now? How? Okay, how could you be serving God now?

By being with you.

Okay, that's mostly because it is a privilege that we have. But how could you be serving Him? To be with Him is not to serve Him. It's a prerequisite to serving Him. Like you be with... you go to the Master's room and say, 'What would you like me to do, Master?' You see? So to be with Him is to go to the Master's room.

Serve... yeah, how could you be serving Him?

By not serving me.

Okay, so that is that you're not doing the bad thing. You're not following the other master's instruction, you're following God's instruction. You're not following the Vasanas. Okay, but then you're still not serving God.

How will I serve Him without recognizing Him?

Do you not recognize Him? Part is done. Now how do I serve? So okay, let me explain the question a bit more. So recognition part we are not doubting at the moment, but if you need to go there again we can. But presume that recognition is there now. And for some reason God has said today, 'I'm on holiday, I will not tell you what to do, but you keep serving me.'

I wait.

No, no. Now, a unique project which is never reality, but just to take the experiment further. So God has said today that, 'You keep serving me, keep doing your job, but today I will not guide you or move you.' So how do you think that you could serve Him in spite of His guidance being on holiday today?

Wait, wait. Patiently.

No, He said, 'Keep serving me while I'm on break.'

Just by being empty.

Okay, and then He will move you. Because when you're empty, then service comes because He moves us. But I'm saying just for today, or just for this now, that moving is not happening and that guidance is not coming, but I have to serve Him. Yes. So let me give you an example to start with, then we can see. One, two, three, four, five, six... six brothers and sisters of humanity are with you. Can you deepen their faith in God? Can you deepen their love for God? Can they deepen their... can you help them let go of their Maya about God? You know how to serve God. And every moment it can be different. And if that service is truly about God, it will not be about me. It will not be about, 'Oh, I am telling you, I am...' This is truly from as a servant of God, 'I'm inviting you, my brothers and sisters, to look at what is real and what is not.' Does God ever leave us for a moment without His guidance? But I'm saying that even our silly mind knows actually, if it looks that way, how to serve God. We are never left without a means to serve Him, you see. Somebody on the road who is suffering, you smile at them, they get maybe a millisecond of a smile on their face. You feel like you served God or no? Anything that you don't make about you but about Him is your service to God. It doesn't have to...

I am inviting you, my brothers and sisters, to look at what is real and what is not. Does God ever leave us for a moment without His guidance? But I'm saying that even our silly mind knows, actually, if it looks that way, how to serve God. We are never left without a means to serve Him. You see somebody on the road who is suffering; you smile at them, they get maybe a millisecond of a smile on their face, and you feel like you served God, or no? Anything that you don't make about you, but about Him, is your service to God. It doesn't have to be big, big things. You see, those have to happen one day through His grace; they may happen. But did I bring a smile to a brother's face today? Did I write something? Did I say even a 'good morning' to someone out of no vested interest for me, or not wanting something out of it? Just make myself available to somebody. There are gazillion ways to serve. Everything that we are not doing out of self-interest and self-will is serving Him.

Did I help someone even at the cost of them rejecting me and at the cost of ridicule? I can do this, my dear ones. If it's not about me, then it's about God. What we can do is to remain empty of everything, including expectation. And what I can do is to pray and bless and request Him that His presence graces you, that you recognize that the being, the presence within you, is Him. It is the purest way to meet Him in any manifestation. Rather than any other spiritual experience, the most direct way to meet Him is through the presence of Atma within. Because whose presence is that? And as you stay with that presence, you recognize that that presence is just as a finger, you see, saying, 'Come and hold this.' You see, because you need to hold on to something, it is provided: the primordial vibration of 'I am' as the tip of the iceberg, as the hand of God, as the finger of the Father, which the child can hold and say, 'Come and hold this, and you are with me. I am walking with you.' So my full, full prayers and blessings are with you.

What are the instruments of God? Love, kindness, compassion, gratitude, good humor, humble humor, self-deprecating—oh, these are beautiful instruments of God. So as long as we are even spreading these. So, I've been having this chocolate drink for recovery, and since I started getting them, there are these kids who work in my house, twenty-something years old. So I just give them some. When I have them, I just give them also. I say, 'You also have.' The poor kids, they must be also liking the chocolate but not seeing it. So, simply just being kind without becoming proud about it or something. A normal way of moving without even telling everyone. I'm just illustrating how the ability to serve is always available to us. Otherwise, I would never say such a thing, that I am doing this or whatever. It just is there; give it to these kids like you would give it to your kids, like I give it to my kids. I think that's serving God. Serving God is complicated? It is serving the mind. Exhibit kindness, compassion, love, honesty.

Okay, this is just a funny question. So when you said that the one who got swallowed, like, it's not there—the one when you were having the insight, there wasn't... I mean, wasn't 'I' having the insight? Yeah, there wasn't... I mean, it was only the true 'I' which was there.

Yeah. The 'I' that says 'I have the insight,' you see, that one is not real. That is still the remnant of the 'me.' Remnant of the 'me.'

Which... that's what I was trying to say. How does that one... how does this newly built-up one know that the one who had the insight was...?

But that's what the Gyan is saying, because there is only this one Self. You see, even who's behaving in this... like, if the 'me'... there's no 'me,' yeah? But it's made up of, like, let's say ten thousand conditions, ten thousand vasanas, beliefs, whatever you call it. In the insight, most of them lose a place to land, so they don't mean anything to us. Things that bothered us yesterday—'I'm like this, I'm like that, he's like this, he's like that'—most of them empty off. But everyone is left with a little bit of flavor, you see? Something still pokes them, something still makes them proud. That little, little is still there. So that the remaining... like, you know, with the hens, you cut off the head, the rest of the body still walks around for a bit. Hens! I used to play with hens as a kid. I've done all the experiments. You take off the head and the body remains and is shaking. So, what to do with that one, okay, is the question of service.

So, my... no, so the question was actually: look at it as a bundle of conditions. What is the human? What is the person? It is just like an encyclopedia of avidya. No, but the source is the Self. So, suppose before coming to satsang you had neighbors which bothered you, you had some neighboring kids that you liked, you had like a million things like this which made up like a Kavita. Yeah? Then you came to satsang and you realize that there is no such 'me,' and you came to the truths of what you are and you're empty of that. You don't even have memory that 'I used to like these neighbors, I used to hate these neighbors, I used to like these kids.' You don't have memory of that anymore; you're empty of that. So that much is gone.

But when somebody you had a romantic relationship with calls you, the thought comes, 'I hate this one.' Then that one still has juice for you, or you buy into that notion. That is what remains of you. And if that one takes on to the notions of pride about having the insight and about being somebody who's awakened or enlightened or something like that, then if that has juice for you... you're just sitting outwardly all 'Shanti, Shanti,' but inside when the thought comes, 'Oh, you are so enlightened now, look at these foolish ones not getting any of this,' and inside you're like that, enjoying it, then that is the spiritual ego, which is the worst thing that can happen to the remnant of the ant which walked into the satsang hall. So that remaining body starts taking itself to be enlightened. 'I'm so headless now,' like that. Then that is what we've been calling the 'Ravan.' You tell someone you met God, God is right there. 'No, you have to have many years of deep sadhana. How many days of continuous kirtan have you done? Only after you've done it ten thousand days, maybe you'll get that.' No, very, very different.

So we must always continue to count the grace and blessings in my life. Such a blessing that even we can say that I found the Absolute and it was apparent for a millisecond. Isn't that worth like a hundred lifetimes? Yes. The mind has the ability to regularize, normalize everything. 'Okay, but what next?' Imagine those poor things whose Guru has left the body and they're still so devoted to them. Imagine somebody came and told them... poor things, they keep waiting for dreams, you know? They have some imagination sometimes, sometimes authentic darshan, but they hang on to these experiences for dear life. Talk to the Baba devotees, how much they grasp, like, 'He came in my dream for a minute and he told me this.' How much they value that. So sometimes we are not able to really count our blessing because we get shrouded in that ability to normalize, to regularize.

Sometimes we feel, Father, initially you spent so many hours with us, and now seeing the other day, now like... now we are like so grateful, Father is going to meet us for two hours or, you know, whatever, even ten minutes. Right now, like I said, all those hours which you spent with us, how stupid... I mean, it feels just bad we didn't... you valued it, but not like... like you take it for something. It was not like... it was just taken at some level, became granted, regular part.

Ability to... it's a form of denial. Just like we can deny God's presence, we deny the blessings that God has given us in our life. But if you look back ten years and say, 'Today I've had such clarity of insight. I was in such stupidity sitting with my mind, and look at where grace has brought me today.' How can our life not be a celebration? Past Chan, he says now, the second chapter in the first five minutes, he says that God says you have to rejoice in Me. I mean, rejoice always in Me because I'm here. And then he says that, 'But because I'm doing His work, then I start behaving as if I've forgotten His command.' No, the command was 'Rejoice in Me.' How could we not? Is the question. Yeah?

And he was saying, I think, that because I'm doing His work, I'm doing such an important thing that I shouldn't... but I've lost His command, which was to rejoice. And I'm always... I wish just that struck me, like, because you think you're doing something important, so now I'm allowed to not rejoice in God and get worried.

That's what he said. To get anxious, to worry. Then where was I following the God's command? Rejoice in Him. And that's like the simplest. In fact, you should just ask: are you rejoicing? Why not? What blessing has He not given us? So all the Masters say, 'Wake up, wake up, wake up.' They're trying to wake us out of the dream, trying to wake us out of this mental house that we built for ourselves and we live over there. Slap out of it and see: life is here. Whose life is this? Presence is here. Whose presence is that?