To Get Rid of This Idea of Somethingness - 16th January 2018

So this 'we' notion is the same as that 'something' notion which I was talking about. Can we see the entire world was moving wordlessly because the one that could either had to make the effort itself has been seen through? There is no such one. And this entire element proves its body-mind as well. These words are enough on their own. In the light of my existence, there is no Ananta who's speaking, there is no individual who's hearing. Consciousness is speaking, consciousness is hearing. Your existence has come to care for this, and you are aware of this existence effortlessly as well. If you did not make this boundary, agree to this notional boundary about yourself, then who is the word and who is the experience? You are not finding the Self as if it is something contained in your body. Empty of all qualities and attributes, location and duration, yourself just is. And as it will take off in these days, you cannot with what you are discovering about yourself to this tiny object called the body. That's why I received that he lets only existence take care of itself, but he remains as 'I am.' We don't need to confuse this outer day as some sort of indicator of what we are.

Gabriel is first. In this, once you see—can you hear me okay? My voice is echoing a little bit. Not to speak? Okay. So I was going to ask a question about 'I am' and talk about how there's all this energy pent up in the head and it's not being released elsewhere, but that's almost irrelevant. It's almost like the breath of the Self is felt throughout the body, but I'm also aware that it's elsewhere, everywhere, pervading everything else too. Do you have anything to speak of this?

It's on the grade. So maybe something—a request for you to repeat that.

Okay. So I was going to talk about how it was very difficult to get into the 'I am' or to notice the 'I am' or be aware of the 'I am.' But when I was reading 'Are You Aware Now?', the book that you had compiled, I saw the word 'presence' and it made a lot of sense and that really stuck with me. So that question's gone. And then I was going to ask about how there's all this energy pent up in my head. I've been through a lot of mental anguish in my life and it just seems like there's a lot of energy up there that is pulsating and it's really uncomfortable at times. But what I really want to say is it seems like the breath of the Self is moved and felt in the body, but also it's—

You must be pissed because look at how intimate this is. What actually was discovering your ego, spaciousness about choking into already? And you're saying that although all those sensations might seem very intense, but actually they are just perceptions as everything else that is here. And then in this, we find that it doesn't become so easy now to constrict yourself, to commit yourselves as if you were something contained in this bucket of flesh and blood. That in which billions of things are, where it is beyond all things. So from what I hear from your report is that as you are reading on the book of food with your own insight, you're coming to your own definition of these things. And as you discover your own hidden spaciousness, you will find that no energy, no constriction, no collection of the strongest energies in the world is bigger or stronger than you. In fact, you have infinite space for all of this to come. Nothing really constrains you. My best wishes and blessings for your beautiful contemplation as Ram. And you're always welcome to come and clarify these things here. I'm trying to be a bit to myself even words today because the throat is a bit of a game.

Our free-flowing conversation runs a bit better. Issues, subjects—I always come across the subject of these practical questions, like the choice of things that I eat, wanting to protect the environment, whether I should go on doing a PhD or not. You know, these very practical things seem to make very limited sense, like why would I choose to use the train instead of the plane, you know, because it's more environmentally friendly?

When it was a question which was very alive here as well—forget it, too much of the story—but there was a point where it goes, 'Mmm, thank you, started working here. What am I doing here? Why am I here? What's my book?' Through some sort of grace, I realized that I cannot truly answer this question. Can we first be clear about what this 'I' is in the first place? So that we have clarity about what is it that we are referring to as being 'I.' Then it is trying to figure out the old man of something that we can't find. What road trip does this one travel? You can't even find this one. This man at the door—should he come into Google or should he go out? Don't say what manner. So I know that this presumption that I know what I am—I must be this body-mind and therefore where do I decide to keep this body-mind? What should I do with it next? Who can see me? Well, at some point in our arrival to the light here, but I can only speak from what has been the experience here, and I saw that I was just shooting other down to like him to clarity about what this 'I' really was. Then you're trying to find a destination for this ghost-like 'I' which is seeming very digitalization is small and most important before 'What should I do? What is my purpose of being?' I need to be clear about what this means.

The jacket is also consciousness. Climate is not separate from consciousness. Yes, everything comes from the Self, all back to the Self. Even our distinctions of awareness, consciousness, the world—this all, the distinctions of in the first pointer is that over all that you consider yourself to be doing and all that you consider yourself to be experiencing up to your holy presence, circle is valence. Check on my Master's feet. Okay. It's only because they know whenever consciousness plays as if it is taking a particular position, though that consciousness is continuing to tail with some sort of mask. We'll come to this point that you will not be able to make a report of our consciousness at all. We will only be able to say 'consciousness.' This unites a 'wants' because what wants is this. You cannot say 'this is how it's going to go' or 'this is what it is doing,' 'this is what is,' because it is so beyond any concept we can put it. Now it wants to do this, and we really know this because next moment something else might appear. So to the main conclusion list is to draw all masks, all the conclusions that are offered in Satsang to you, so that you can become comfortable with your absence of conclusions. Then the movie is so fresh. Why? You don't know the next scene. Because many times we move either from where you see now the protagonist is going to do this, but something else happens. Completions see that continue. But even this you can say. You are you now. You make no more decisions. Like just I find that in this way of body-mind doer, it has become quite rare to have this actually. Having said that, it might actually be more example. Somebody says the students in for many months now, we have a retreat, so not really dawn.

You don't know the next scene because many times we move either from where you see now the protagonist is going to do this, but something else happens. You see that continue, but even this you can say, you are you now. You make no more decisions. Like, I find that in this way of body-mind, it has become quite rare to have this actually. Having said that, it might actually be more. For example, somebody says, 'The students in for many months now, we have a retreat.' So, not really dawn, but this sort of awaiting for it to unfold and so on. So, I wouldn't say that I've been to suffer because of the decision part coming with. I wouldn't say there's a water moving here is very decisive now, but it's not quite relaxed. Not really regretting here momentarily, of course, something comes. So, sometimes the one that comes out of this mouth, I can see that they respond to that. It can seem like it was not really taken humorously. So, something here can feel, but it's not whatever then when we need it really something, you know, most interactions in stone. So, cough it out. I wouldn't say that I'm able to remember it for too long.

I was just going to add the enter password. We're drinking a hot beverage of cream. The question is whether that Kabul to sundown, yeah, I control this. And I want to say if you like big amounts of my Father about this dream for sure, no, just not there. And usually until you big, seems like you need to make a decision around you, tries to trick you. I notice that sometimes I feel like I'm not, I'm not there yet. At the same time, the pressure of being indecisive feels very strong. This is the so-called just like a kids' game, so-called decision not to take it too seriously, but here I get wrong.

But depends if the 'me' still means something limited. If you say, 'All of this I can say is within me,' are you referring to this 'me' as if it has some boundary? Then where is the draw? Where is the burden being taken by a trough? No, I'm saying you say directly as I throw my direct insight, I can see that all things are contained in me, and yet it can feel like there's a burden of the ocean on the trough. What is the boundary of this drawing? Whatever. No clear means no burdens. And so I like the word please, that is off topic a little. There's a question about discipline and someone actually like this will be here a particular point if you like they can just carry it through. So in the one says this register them, if you like they have the tools, we can we discipline them, get their money and just rest of yourself. But you know something can be shared for all very essential collapse. If you feel like there's not enough discipline, like here those obvious feeling that I am not disciplined enough, that Mahaj says stay with the sense 'I am' over here. These things whatever, I actually Bacchus is no, I never felt like it is done with great sense of discipline, consistency. Still it all seems to work.

You just resonated a lot. I would say that I'm not should be a very disciplined person, yet there's this one point when they cross it over it becomes. And I think it's exactly the point when the game stops being a game and take an illustration of that. So a Steinbeck goes six days a week. I had a very and in the beginning I enjoyed it so much, it felt like I was making progress very quickly when I was building quickly and I was feeling. And at some point my knee started hurting and then I couldn't go as much and I was stretching myself a lot. Yeah, not just a little thing starts freaking and now you, you don't like these kind of stops then will start coming and and I would go up and I would go running even though I don't, I didn't because yeah, pushing myself just so that this voice that is saying is itself.

What would happen though be that I wouldn't perform as good as there would because and so again it was useless because you know it's very similar to what is to happen here because I learned all the news practices while Kriya and then literally you have to do it and so many days and if you don't, if you miss a day. One good solution, I don't feel like I ever got to that 90-day this time. And here what would happen is that I will be like, 'Few dudes, this is really helping, really help me.' And another day it will come and say, 'No, what you really have to do a chant.' Okay, obsessive what you say about it for Cutie's though. Sickness here didn't last very long but resist a few leaves and fully into it then they may be under my eyes the chat right out of our human condition. This will then consume like something we find immediately right, this is it man, this is how we see everything phenomena me as a down cellar we are getting into it maybe those downside bond immediately visible so they start to show up let me try to get ourselves into 29 to do something. This expression is some sort of VH Warren said one of my favorite sentences these days is 'Kukukaka Beulah,' only the rays of the boo. So ultimately computing there is that grace is there, it just takes hold and grace is always there. This is like what you said, 'Can I play?' So we will playing in all these various ways that we don't feel it is just because you're holding on to, you know, it's an idea. The second time when I this is some sort of reassurance that things do turn out monza in the end everything works out right. Okay ladies, so must be starting now. Luigi silence it until the end of our class for today. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. So Guru Sri Mooji Baba he.