To Find Out What True Life Is, You Must Know First Who You Truly Are - 2nd January 2023

I would like to open up about... I wasn't right. My pride. And I have a difficulty with really dropping some of the attachments. Yes, yes. That's really... I would like to ask for your grace in your hand too, because I don't see anymore any other option to go fully to this, this go to truth. Yes, a very clear no other option. And well, whether they would go to my family or just some projections I have about how you want to use my spiritual gains for the future, because I don't know what exactly this is, but I even have this dialogue in my head like, 'Oh, don't speak in prayer, don't show up like this.' Okay.

Yes. So what is the attachment to self-image that we call pride? What is that? What is the worst-case scenario? What would be terrible if it was to happen? That everybody would take you to be a fool? Your family would take you to be a fool and not a spiritually enlightened one? Is that scary or no?

Someone gets inside. I feel like I want to let go of energy that we're heading. I want to control, but it can be, maybe, maybe it's also part of this. Maybe, maybe this is scary to do that, go somehow. And also I feel, I feel some responsibility is like to let go of it, especially when I attend yourself and some moments like there is more. Yes, I hope, I hope my words are not dry, dry too much, but because I know that this pride is sometimes hiding like behind some knowledge, holding on to some knowledge or yeah.

So let's start with this. Let's start with this. So if your words were fully dry, how would that affect you? I'm not saying they were, but if they were? You don't want to sound like someone with dry words?

Maybe I'm afraid that I will not keep up to the commitment I mean to the truth if I... yes. That's why I often don't give compliments to people because I'm afraid I will change my mind later, but say that they are good people.

Yes. So how is it that one can follow the commitment to truth? That's the fundamental question. So you said correctly that 'I made a commitment to truth, I want to make sure that I follow it.' How do we follow it? How do we follow that commitment to truth?

Maybe by being honest, maybe saying, saying, exposing what we are probably going through.

Yes, yes. Okay. So exposing that to have integrity is good. But if I was to say you have to live in truth, or to make it easier, if I was to say you have to live in God's light, otherwise you haven't lived yet. You're just a walking zombie. If you haven't found God and you haven't lived in God's light, then it is a dead life. So if that is truth, to lead a true life is to live a life in God's light, in God's presence, in Atma Gyan, then what is the way to do that?

There's a lot I don't know. Maybe, maybe to trust more. Trust more and listen to this inside. Yeah, but I make, I make mistakes because I feel sometimes I want, I have some expectation towards my family and I feel like two choices: either to leave them completely or to not show up at their place.

All right. All choices which show up in the mind are actually lose-lose. The mind creates alternatives where you're still stuck in the mind. I've given you a clue, which is to say that to live in God's light, to be with God's presence, is the only true life. So first you can say, 'I don't know what God's presence is, so how can I live there?' But if you say, 'I do know,' then what stops you from living there? So these are the two things you can say. You can say, 'How to live in God's presence? I don't know what it is,' you see. And the second you could say is that, 'Although I find God's presence, the Atma is within me, I don't know how to live in that because the world is too distracting,' whatever the reasoning may be. So to live in the presence of God is to live in truth, to live a true life. And it has director saying that if God was sitting in front of you where you're playing computer games—God is sitting in front of you but you're playing computer games—then is that, would you call that a true life or a life of illusion, delusion, Maya? 'And I can't talk to you right now because, you know, my friends are on Fortnite' or something. Okay, okay.

So thank you. No, no, my dear, you're saying that... I was saying as a metaphor.

As a metaphor. Would you say to God that 'I can't talk to you right now because my friends are playing this game and I need to be with them'? Or would you recognize the value of God's presence and then live from there? And from there, if the external action and outcomes are that you end up playing a game, that is fine, you see. But to be in denial of that and to live on your own terms is to live in the light of the ego shadow, and the shadow of the ego, and not in God's light.

Somewhere, somewhere I'm, I'm ready to... I feel this especially, you give us the inheritance to all of this. Yeah. And I sometimes, I can write to you, you know, some people appear from, from the past and then you should show up and they, they still have past inside them. And I want to, I speak with them and they say, I can even if I haven't seen as completely crazy man, especially to those who have, who have some inclination to Jesus, I say, 'Why not follow this completely?' even if I have no more like too many friends.

Yes. So the first question you must answer is: is God's presence palpable to you? Is God's presence palpable to you? And... yes. But is it? Yes, sorry, because we don't have video on today's call, that's why the coordination may seem a bit difficult, but we'll get used to it as we go along. So what I'm asking is, if I was to say to you right now, right now, be in God's presence, would it be simple, obvious? How would you feel? Like, 'No, no, I have to return to an experience I had three weeks ago or three months ago or three years ago'? Because we are done talking about spirituality, okay? Thousands and thousands and thousands of years we've spoken about spirituality. God is like this, God is very kind, God is very nice, God is... He will take care of you, God is your Father, God this is all there is. We've spoken everything. This is a Vedanta library behind you; you can pick up books and then thousands and thousands of words there. But will all of this remain theory, or will it become one true lived experience for us? When we say, 'I have to follow the Master because the Master said God is like that, so I have to believe God is like that,' but the true meeting with me is not possible with God. More spiritual seekers live like that.

I think I've been for a long time. I've had this completely different imagination about what that God is doing.

Yes, yes. But what about now? What about now? I say, live in God's presence now.

Yes, I'm a little bit like thinking sometimes of the job because I'm not working at the moment, or sometimes my mind would go to these concerns about like empty pocket and stuff like this.

Yes, but I'm saying now. I'm not saying usually or these days. I'm saying now, as in right now. Can we meet?

I feel okay, but I know, I still know that...

Are you in God's light? There is some, some holding on to something which is not easy to detect. Are you in God? Are you in God's light? I will say yes. Yes. Now what happens is we are always naturally in God's light, but the design of Maya, the design of this Leela, is that under mental hypnosis, which is under the identification with the thought, it seems as if you are not. It seems that you are separate, that there is duality. And no human being, and therefore no being of any sort, can actually say that, 'Okay, I will believe the content of my thought in this moment and yet continue to not seem separate.' The seeming of separation will happen when you identify with the thought. So many times I notice that those who are spiritual seekers are trying to get mastery over their mind by saying, 'I should be able to believe my thought also and be with God,' you see. Just like you can't board the airplane and live in the airport at the same time, you will not be able to do this, you see. And this happens because there is a lack of trust. 'If I give it all over to God, yeah, but what will it make out of my neck?' This is the fear. This is exactly what I'm saying, you see. This is exactly what I'm saying. Now, every breath for you, every heartbeat to you, is a gift from whom? Who gives you that gift?

Yes, it's true, but we sometimes not, they don't value this.

Yes, yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. So we cannot give ourselves one heartbeat, and we want to analyze the one who's running this even instrument called body, the one whose being is here, the one who holds light, all of this dream appearance is appearing. We don't want to trust that one. We want to trust our egoic identity, which doesn't even exist, and that becomes the basis of the fear and that prevents us from surrendering. We create a compartment for ourselves saying, 'This is my spiritual aspect, God can run that, but don't get into my money, okay? Get into it only if you increase it. Don't get hurt by money, or get into it if you can increase it, of course, please. Yeah, don't get into my relationship unless you can get me the best relationship. Don't get into the health of my body unless you can make it better.' So we define the boundary on our terms and then we want God as a genie, a glorious servant. And this is the bane of spirituality today. 'So I went to this Master for so long, I didn't get anything.' You were supposed to have left by now. You, the ego, is supposed to have left by now. If you have gone to the Master and still hold on to the ego, then you've not really gone to the Master. But this is the condition today. Empty of mental hypnosis, God's light is apparent. All of you can say that you are here, you see. But the one that is here is not the one.

Then we want God as a genie, a glorious servant, and this is the bane of spirituality today. 'So I went to this master for so long, I didn't get anything.' You were supposed to have left by now. You, the ego, is supposed to have left by now. If you have gone to the master and still hold on to the ego, then you've not really gone to the master. But this is the condition today. Empty of mental hypnosis, God's light is apparent. All of you can say that you are here, you see, but the one that is here is not the one that belongs in your mental narrative. The one that is in your mental narrative has nothing to do with the one that is here. The mental narrative consists of a strange soup of body-mind, because we don't even take ourselves to be the body. If you took yourself only to be the body, why would you come to satsang? If you just said, 'I am this body, I'm so clear I am this body,' then what freedom are we talking about? It's only death. This body is going to die. Or you should do some sadhana to become like, have this body become immortal or something like that. But in satsang, nothing like that is offered. Here in satsang, a different kind of eternal life is offered, but that is not for the body. You will become eternal. You will find your eternal life. You will find that you are already eternal, but not the one that you take yourself to be and not the character in your storybook.

Recently I realized that I am very, very absurd, like funny. Like even about work, like I shouldn't, I shouldn't have to work. Like, that's our stuff, you know?

Yeah. So all these opposites—that I should have, I should not have, I should be with family, I should leave my family—all these ideas of becoming more spiritual, the egoic ways of becoming more spiritual, saying, 'Oh, I should do that, I should not do this.' As long as the protagonist is the wrong one, what are we talking about? And we'll talk about guidance, which will come from your heart, God's guidance from this Guru presence in your heart in a moment. But for this moment, I am telling you that all these opposites, if they're just in your head, then they are not helpful. So let's return to the question: Is God's presence here or not? Yes, it is. It is. If God's presence is here, then you must become a dog on its scent constantly. Not the most elegant example, but that is the target pursuit. If God's presence is here but you're sniffing around in your head, what is going to happen? Only more egotism and more suffering.

So the instant you say God is here, then listen only to that. Why do you say, 'But my mind says...'? I know what your mind says. I am yearning to hear what God says through your mouth. But mostly, even upon the discovery of God's presence, because we doubt it... we have lived spirituality without our master's words, without the words of all the sages, and we doubt our very presence the instant we go with 'But he said...' Yes, yes, this can wait. The Atma can wait, but I will think first, 'Am I free now? What does this mean?' So we go to the individuality again because we feel that there is no other way to live. So firstly, come to God's presence. If God's presence is clearer, then don't leave it. And when you do leave it, come back. That's all.

Yes. Yeah, for us to come back, the mind is like saying, 'Okay, now just your experience, this is how God's presence was, now you should feel, taste it,' you know, like follow that scent. It's like that.

So what will happen is that you have two friends, okay? Two good friends. One is good for you, one is not, but both of them you are close to. One is very satwik in nature. It's very satwik in nature. You go to their house, they offer you some Prasad, then there's an altar and there's all of that is happening, no? And you feel like saying to them, 'I want to live with you. Can I just live with you?' And that friend says, 'Yes, you can live. My house is big enough. All of you can stay.' Then what happens is that you get calls from your other friend who's very thamsic in nature. He just calls you and says, 'You lived there long enough. Come take a break. Have a nice time. It's New Year's Eve, you know?'

Then what happens is that you go there, and in buying into that intoxication which they have to offer, what can happen is that they will also make you the offer and say, 'You're missing out on all of this fun, you see? I know there's some suffering for all this fun, but isn't this actually worth it? Can't we make this work? Come, I'll give you a room, you see? We'll try to make this work, you see. And I've got... I know I did bad things to you in the past, I led you down the wrong path, but now I'm reformed. Now I will only, only give you great ideas for your work. I will tell you things which will make your relationship better. I will not trouble you at all. Come stay with me.' So when we take that invitation, know that that friend, quote-unquote friend, is not going to give up because that is what actually what you take yourself to be. What you consider yourself to be is just a pawn in this battle. What you consider yourself to be is just a pawn in this battle.

So the ego wants to make a dent in God's light, but you are being invited back home. So when you buy into a distracting thought, no matter what the... and now we've taken various metaphors about how this works. Once you're on a diet and you break it, then you want to eat everything, you see, not just come back to the diet after you eat the starter. So it's very compelling that way. That's why many people say that moderation is more difficult than abstinence. Moderation more difficult than abstinence. Abstinence becomes a habit, but moderation they find more difficult. So when you go back to the ego shadow, the ego, the mind, the voice of individuality is not going to give up. It is going to tempt you with everything it has. 'We will make this work. Best relationship, best money, best health of body, and maybe you can also become a satsang teacher and have people falling at your feet. And you are enlightened actually, you don't need anything else, you're done. What are you waiting for?'

So all these are temptations and offers will come, but remember that that represents one who doesn't exist, because the one that it is selling to is non-existent. But God's presence, the presence of your being, is the only existent one there is. And if that is willing to guide you, then why go to another voice? If your heart is willing to guide you, then why go to your head? And when you do go to your head and you recognize that 'I am under the hypnosis,' then rather than continuing further with it, return back home.

So before, before I finish, I would like to say thanks. Thank to you for all this, all your recordings on this, this whole Discord channel. I hope to, to continue to listen and apply these instructions. Thank you, thank you.

Very good, very good. Okay, so most in the human condition, for them God is a figment of the imagination or theoretical concepts which people have told them. And most have also believed that God will not be found by just anyone. You have to be one in a million to find God. You can't just get God. You are not somebody who can find Him. At the same time, everybody tells you God is everywhere, you see. So you're meant to live as if God is everywhere, but you can't find Him, you know? So let's change that around a bit. God is everywhere. What is the difficulty in finding?

The difficulty in finding is that we are addicted to two sources of knowledge which do not show you God. Addicted to two sources of knowledge which don't show you God. One is the source called perception. God will not be found objectively as if it is a perception. You will not one day go to a special room and say, 'Ah, God, I found you,' you see, 'this is it.' It will not be like that. Because if that was just an objective discovery, then somebody would have found it by now and said, 'Here, this is where God is,' because every object has a location, I see. So through perception you cannot find it. And no matter how much you think, you will not be able to solve it and find it as a wonderful idea, you see. You will not find it like a scientific discovery, like a mathematical equation. You cannot work, work, work, work in your head and come to the right answer and say, 'That is God.' But in the world, we are used to doing only these two things. So that is why the God which is everywhere we cannot find, because we are trying to use perception and conceptual understanding. Now most would give up at this point and say, 'But I don't have anything else.' What else do you have? You can't perceive God, you can't think about God. Now what other mode of knowledge do you have?

Yes, what He tells you to follow, to look along with Him. Awesome. What is that looking? Interesting. What is this intuitively? What is this intuitively is to come to a true understanding of where you're looking from. Yes, but also it is distinct from the tools that we have traditionally used to try and live in this world. It's the living, living thing. Living intuitive knowledge is dead. Perception is also dead mentally. Intuitively is really something living.

Yes, good way to put it. That's a good way to put it. That living presence within you is the source of all intuitive insight. Now many of you may say, 'I don't know this. I have always taken intuition to be something that I am able to predict, or sometimes my mind gets a thought that this will happen when this happens.' Those things are fine. But right now, what do you know intuitively? That means without having to see something or without having to think. I know that I am. You know that you are. And I also know that I am shapeless and timeless. Very good, because I am both. So this knowing that 'I am,' did it have to wait for thought? You know that you are after you get the thought? You just see. Now, is this knowing that 'I am' a body? We're getting such love, okay. So follow, take your time. That which you know organically without having to perceive anything or think anything, is it that you are a body? Know the right answer. It needed... you know that you are, but intuitively you don't know that you are a body.

See if you can meet me here. You know that you are. But that which we take to be the body, the sensations of the body, you see, are perceived just like everything else. You don't find yourself as something which is contained within a body. Yes or no? Are you just saying because I'm saying and it must be like that, or... yeah, it has to become your own discovery. So you know that you are. Now when you see this 'I am,' if it is not the body, then who is it? Is it limited? You can't find a boundary at least. Was it born? Can it die? And if these questions are confusing because many of you will say, 'I don't know these answers,' then you must stay in the same intuition to let the question do the work. But stay in the same intuition.

So I am going to propose to you that this presence is not an individual's presence, but it is God's presence itself. So when we say this seemingly individualized consciousness, seemingly individualized consciousness is not distinct from the one being, one consciousness. That is what I am offering to you: that this presence which you have taken to be some individual entity is actually God's presence. It's God's light. Because if it was individual, then it would be limited. It would have been born, you see. It would have had desires, it would have had aversions, all those things that you have. But this doesn't have. But that you... you cannot find this presence. Does it want freedom? Even freedom it doesn't want. Is it grasping for anything? Is it stressed about something, about work, about money, about relationship? Is it stressed? Don't follow just because I'm saying, you have to check for yourself. Your presence... it is the presence. It is a presence. It doesn't want any of these things. It is not limited. So after discovering this, and most of you are saying yes, how can you bother about anything else? This is an unlimited presence which is within you. How can you prioritize anything else till you have discovered who that is? How can anything else be important? And here you have a man...

One thing about relationship is it stressed—don't follow just because I'm saying, you have to check for yourself. Your presence, it is the presence. It is a presence that doesn't want any of these things; it is not limited. So after discovering this, and most of you are saying yes, how can you bother about anything else? These are unlimited presences just within you. How can you prioritize anything else till you have discovered who that is? How can anything else be important? And here you have a man who's telling you that that is God living within you. Now, if you took even 0.1 probability that that is true, won't this become so important to you? Even if I told the truth only point one percent of the time and I'm 99.9 percent a liar, would I tell you that God lives within you with that presence which you say 'I am'? My home is God's presence. In that point one percent probability, how much would you want to explore this presence within you? Would you not want to come to a true insight about this?

I'm reminded of a time that we were living in Pune and there was a quiz in the paper. My dad, for a change, had a weekend free. In the quiz, if you answered all the questions correctly, you had a chance to meet like Sunil Gavaskar or some famous cricketer. So he spent the whole morning doing that. You know, he was otherwise very busy and had no time, but he spent the whole morning doing that thing. It's for a celebrity to come to your house, and there's a chance, the odds of which could be lesser than the odds which I've just told you. And I'm talking about God. So then what else? You have been introduced to the possibility that God is here. You have been introduced to the possibility that it cannot be just a theoretical notion. Now you may actually find God.

And I'm not saying you have to change anything in your outer life. I'm not saying you have to change anything in your work, your family—nothing. You don't have to change anything at all. But inwardly, till you come to a true insight about who that is, stay on the scent of that, come what may, come what may. But what happens in more spirituality? We go to maybe a Sunday satsang and then we meet a nice Guru who tells us, 'Yes, yes, your life is good, you are taken care of, God is taking care of you, don't worry, be a good person and you'll be fine.' You feel good, you go back home, and back home to the merry-go-round of life. Here I'm proposing something different. If I'm proposing something different, this is not for you to feel good. This is not for you to find peace. This is not for you to find love. Nothing. This is only about God. And if those things come, then they come as byproducts.

So, another way to look at this, because some of you don't like the notion of God—you say, 'God, I've heard, I've had a very oppressive childhood and I was forced to pray to God, I don't like it'—so I can put this to you another way. I am proposing to you that everything that you have thought has been a lie. Everything that you have thought about yourself and the world has been a lie. But the possibility of finding the truth within you is fully true. And you can choose now to live the lie or continue to live the lie, or dedicate whatever inner tools or attention or focus you have to this discovery of that which is true. Because already you have the feeling that you're living a lie. You see, you have the calling from your heart calling you within, saying there is something missing in this life that I've taken to be true; there must be a deeper life, a true life.

So whether you call it God or you call it truth, capital T Truth, this is the only discovery of that, the only way to come to a discovery of that. To find out what true life is, you must know first who you truly are. You see, because the true life will be different for a giraffe and a mongoose. Different life, you see. So if the giraffe takes the snake's life to be a true life, it will try to crawl on the ground. If the snake starts thinking the giraffe life is a true life, it will start jumping and trying to eat the grass on the trees. So before you can determine what your true life is, you must determine who you are. Even if the notion of God is not attractive to you, you must find out at least who you are.

So that is a complete possibility for you. But you cannot do armchair spirituality, lip service stuff. You cannot say, 'I will inject myself with poison all day and then once a week I will take some antidote and be enlightened or free or live in God's light.' And even tougher, actually, is that you cannot even say, 'I am in this so that once I find God, I will be enlightened.' That part may be even tougher. You are in this because you want God, or you want the truth, which are one and the same. You're tired of the lying, tired of egotism, you're tired of selfishness, you're tired of grasping, you're tired of the notion of more, more, better, better, and you're trying to get to that which is the unchanging reality. But it cannot become in service to the false.

Everything that... no, I agree with the first point, but the second point... no, in the sense that if you are saying that as long as you're not buying into any idea of doing or taking yourself to be anyone, then whatever is unfolding, that's what you're saying?

Yeah, because you never can move from that place. Yes, you are always already there. Okay, let's hear more because actually the Maya is very important. And if it was true that I could just tell all of you, 'Do what you want, it's okay, you will be in your natural state, nothing will change,' the truth is always the truth. Yes, it is so. The truth is always the truth. Awareness is untouched, beingness is untouched. But all of the satsang is so that the seeming suffering, the seeming individuality, the seeming desire, the seeming player of grasping, the seeming 'now' dissolves and you come to rest in the truth of what you are.

So to remain in God's presence, to remain in your being and to not identify, is very important. Because otherwise the ego will use that and say, 'How does it matter to the truth?' But it matters to you because you suffer. Something happens in our life, all this knowledge goes out the window—first to go—and we become shaky because we have not established ourselves in God's light. So this year, and it's coming up to say, but this year I feel to say that there should be fifty of us. It will be fifty of us who I can say that these fifty are rarely shaken by what the world has to throw at them, what the mind has to throw at them, what the world has to throw. And if that fifty is a hundred, I'm happier.

But this subtle difference is the whole difference. In the sense that in reality, nothing has changed. You could spend your whole million lifetimes not coming to satsang even once; nothing changed for the Self, isn't it? But when you take yourself to be something limited, you take yourself to be a body, you take yourself to be a person, then the suffering, the anguish that we experience... then it's better not to put that in the... although of course it is within Grace and within the ambit of God's will. Better to, instead of saying, 'Oh, that is also God's will and it's going to happen,' come back home. Come back home. Find presence within you and don't leave that. Otherwise we'll continue to have those problems like the one who came to Papaji.

He came to Papaji and said, 'At your feet, Master, I am completely fine, but when I go into the marketplace of the world, I'm full of suffering again.' Papaji said, 'Why do you leave? If at the feet of the Master you're happy, then why do you leave? Go to the marketplace and do whatever you want, it's all okay.' He said, 'Don't leave the feet of the Master.' And obviously he's not talking about the physical feet; he's talking about the same Satguru presence within you. Don't leave that. Even if you understand everything, don't leave that. If you understand everything, why leave that anyway?

Because this Maya's designs we don't want to meet fully. And while it's true that nothing will happen to your reality, you don't want to go through all of that. Do you want to meet Maya's design fully or you want to meet God's design? Who would you want to meet if you are at limited time, which we all do? Who do you want to meet more? Maya or God? And does anyone know how much time is left? And yet we have the ability to keep postponing and keep postponing. That's why Kabir Ji said, no? Unfortunately, this will become a homework reminder more than a call to God. Who is he talking to? He's talking to you. He's not talking about your homework, not talking about making money and doing your job well, and he's not saying don't procrastinate things of the world. He's saying don't procrastinate God.

Because when death comes, that could be death of a body or death of the universe; it could come any moment. When you go to sleep tonight, there is no guarantee you're waking up tomorrow, you see? So how are you spending it? And now that the possibility of God is with you, now you have no excuse. Now you've made things worse for yourselves by coming here. Now the possibility to spend your life... before coming here you could have said, 'This is the only life I know. I pray on special days, I go to temple once a week, I have led the good life which I was told.' Now, unfortunately for you, you have caused trouble for yourselves. You've been introduced to God within you. The temple is there; you can live in it. And there is no excuse for selfishness. So you can't even diagnose the ignorance thing, like 'but I didn't know better.' Now you know. You're stuck.

Now if you take this medicine only half, it is going to be worse. Now you're with her. Either prove that I am not telling the truth—prove it, I'm not telling the truth—or you're stuck. It cannot be that I have introduced you to God within you but then you say, 'I will continue to serve the ego and yet I've led a good life.' The only way then out of it is that he's crazy. And prove that. Say that is true. Follow your heart if that is what it is saying. If God is here, then either we don't like... we think it's some other God, it's a minor God must be here. No? You don't feel like, 'Ah, it can be Shiva's presence itself, or God Almighty.' You don't feel like it can be that.

You may be feeling like when you used to watch online or something as children, then for these events that would happen in Ram's life or Krishna's life, then these minor gods will come and shower flowers. So we must be feeling like, 'Oh, and some minor god.' But I am telling you that the Creator, Preserver, and Destroyer, Rejuvenator of this universe lives within your heart. Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh—they're all within you. The presence which is your Atma's presence is the presence of that God. And in the world, at least one thing you have learned: that you must follow one who doesn't want anything from you. For ones who want something from you, you can doubt their credibility. So one who doesn't want anything from you either must be fully crazy or must be telling you the truth.

So God is here. Now prove to yourself otherwise. It's okay, prove to yourself otherwise, but don't neglect this possibility. Don't neglect firstly this possibility, and for many of you it's more than a possibility—you met it. You met it. And then to be serving the master in our head is not in service to your truth. Don't go back into the mind's favorite version of freedom: 'I can do whatever I want now that I know God is here, I can do whatever I want.' That's what it always wanted. Its version of freedom is what? You see? So this is not that convenient: 'Nothing is happening to the Atma, so do whatever you want.' No. There is a true life that you can spend in service to your intuitive presence, your divine presence. And even after the discovery that there is something deeper, greater within you, even after an awakening experience, you may return to the ways of the mind and make that into a spiritual ego without realizing it. What did we hear about Ravan?

Your version of freedom is what you see. So it doesn't—this is not that convenient. Nothing is happening to this Atma, so do whatever you want? No. There is a true life that you can spend in service to, you know, intuitive presence, your divine presence. And even after the discovery that there is something deeper, greater within you, even after an awakening experience, you may return to the ways of the mind and make that into a spiritual ego without realizing it. What did we hear about Ravan? 'Oh, I am Brahman. We are one and the same. Why should I bow down to Ram? All is one only.' It's correct, it's true, but mentally. So Ravan gave him the permission to do whatever he wanted because he is following knowledge, but from the wrong place.

Can your heart not guide you that you want to go to the mind and answer the question with the situation to explore it? Yes. I was at the airport a few days ago waiting for my car to pick me up and it was a 25-year-old crying, gave me some drama story of how he needs some money to get home. My mind was telling me 90% scam. So I said, 'Okay, what can I do now?' I just went into my heart and just gave him the money knowing that my mind is saying that I'm getting scammed. I gave it, and he was supposed to call me back the next day and obviously he didn't. And I'm okay with it, even when the act was happening. But to your earlier point that you've made, like, don't use your heart or your intuition as a way to... so in this situation, I still don't know if I acted from my heart or it is like another form of the mind. One mind is saying give, one is saying don't give. So sometimes it's just, you know, when I'm listening to you urging us to go to God, I don't know which—who acted on that moment. Like that choice that I made, yes, I feel that it was my deeper Self, but I don't know that.

Yes. And what is not important to determine at the moment is that. It is not important to determine that. What is important to determine now is: where am I? I feel I did the right thing. Yes. And also that right now I'm in God's light. Then even these things which may bother us sometimes—this probably doesn't, but suppose there was something, some choice which seemed to be bigger and you made that and you're wondering where did it actually come from—you can bring that also to God, you know, and say, 'Okay, now I don't know, but now You're here.' You see, this is the beauty of one who's beyond time and beyond space.

Yeah, so I'm bringing it up only as an example. It's actually not bothering me.

Yes, yes. Okay, so that's a good... so remember that most of what I'm saying, if not all, can be applied right now. And not in terms of determining goodness or badness in the past, or the rightness or the wrongness of something in the past, but to turn it to That who's present here. Because the one who's present here has full control over apparent past, present, and future. So how to say like this: suppose that in a particular play, that boy or man was a complete cancer. Now you brought it to God and said, 'I don't know whether I did the right thing, but bless him and please guide me to follow my heart always.' Then in God's light, this is nothing. He could become a saint tomorrow; he could be a saint yesterday. The one that you met could change. You see, I don't know.

That's all. That's exactly what happened in my self-conversation. Was, do you know that he is a cancer? Like, I gave a probability of 90-95%, but that 5% was enough for me. So I actually don't know. Since I don't know, I'm gonna do what my heart does now. It's also very important to do when you do know. I did know he's a scam student and I might not have given them—

No, no. I'm not saying you should have given. No, not... I'm not saying you should have given, but to follow your heart even then. So don't take it to be that 'I can recognize and therefore I know the best course of action is not to give.' We don't know. Because if we hadn't given, maybe who knows how it could have unfolded from there? You see, I may have gotten settled into some major trouble because of that. We could have felt guilt. We don't know any of these things. So even in spite of coming to a so-called or true conclusion, we cannot be driven by that conclusion. We must also be willing to be completely irrational. And this is the scary part. This is the scary part of what I'm saying. It's okay when I don't know, I can follow the heart because I don't know. But now I do know, still follow the heart. But I know 100% he's a scamster, but my heart is saying give him 2,000 rupees. Who's willing to be that absurd? That part seems scary to us because once we start following like that, the fear is tomorrow it will say, 'Do this to this precious life that I have put together.' You say, 'Just leave all that.' That can seem scary, but we must face this fear. If you face this fear, because one way to look at it is, it was never about that one anyway. It wasn't about that one anyway. It is always about this one who's having this dream house.

But like, my wife knows that it's like that. Yeah, you'll rarely have that. You rarely have... hardly encountered a situation where my heart has led me in these kind of ways. But just follow, you have to follow.

So you're saying that it won't happen? No, I'm saying it rarely happens from what I've seen, but it could happen. And when it does happen, you have to follow. You know, my friend, you can never predict what the heart will say. But I'm just reassuring him saying that in my case at least, I've rarely seen anything like that. Where do we draw the line? You see, and where we draw the line determines what we take lives in our heart. No? So are we coming to the discovery of a second mind, like a second intelligence, maybe more intelligent than the mind but makes mistakes sometimes? So then sometimes I can go to my mind and sometimes I can go to my heart? You see, usually what will happen is that you will have more confusion about whether this is heart or mind, whether this is mind posing as if it is heart. But once you... and you'll come to a point that once you learn that this is guidance from God within, from this Satguru within, then you will just... it will become such a habit to just follow it, you know? But usually what will happen is that initially you will feel like, 'Is this my head messing with me, pretending to be like all sweet?' And you know, sometimes for some of you it's happened this way that it starts acting like my voice. 'It's my dear child, you know, like that, you must do like this and this.' So what is the solution for that? How to have a foolproof solution? The foolproof solution is that you're being led to an insight into who you are. When that insight is available to you, because it is not possible to get mentally or perceptually, you see, when you are clear about who you are, then you are being intuitive. So how to check whether it is my heart or head is: is who I truly am apparent to me or not?

I'm liking the cheat method a lot more though, to replace myself with you, which is I ask myself... makes it much easier.

But that's provisionally okay. That's provisionally okay. But my advice would be to... because it's important to face that fear, that discomfort. What if the heart tells me to do something which is completely irrational? Because even in the cheat method you may say, you may have an idea of another nice guy that... that feels way better than the drama with the mind. Yes, yes. So that's okay. So now even between 'what would Ananta do' and 'what is He guiding me within my heart right now' is the call. Because we have relied on our mind for so long, and maybe for lifetimes, then this kind of... there is bound to be some friction, some struggle as we're moving through Maya. It's important that we do that. Important that we do that even at the cost of what we take to be important or right or always. So you cannot have a situation in which you go to your heart and then you find that you've given to your head, because the head will say, 'But this is too much.' So what to do in that situation? You have to bring that and say, 'I'm being guided in my heart in this way, but there is fear. I don't know how it will turn out. Please help me in this.' Allow that also to burn in the furnace of your heart's fire. So I've put two impossible things in front of you now. First is: have you found God? If your answer is no, then I can say, then what are you doing? Find God. We don't know when the end is coming. Find God. And if you say yes, then also what are you doing? If you found God and you're living in your head, I will not be satisfied or shut up until I see your whole presence erupting through you. God's light seeping through every core, every corner of you. Make me want to sit at your feet. Shine that much in God's light that I feel to bow down to you. And so let's do the same light which is here. I'll keep pushing and prodding and chopping till we come to that point. But if you have some practical difficulties between that, you say, 'Living in God's light, to find God, I am not able to find, show me,' and I'd love to have those conversations. I love to have this conversation. I'm not just giving you the project and saying do it. I'm also giving you the tools.

How do we... like there are many times I felt, 'Okay, this is the presence.' Yeah, it might just be the mind fooling around. How do you know it's true?

Yeah. Can you stop being? Don't be. Try to not be. Don't exist. Then I said, see as an exercise and I go, you know, do it now. Stay with this. It's good. Let's try together. Stay with this. You found your presence is here. Is that simple? Try to not be. Be apparent now. Stay with this. It means what you have to do is effortless. I have given you homework which is effortless. You see? What you have to do, just what is coming, let it come. You stay with That which is. And I'm not even saying work on your attention, withdraw it from your thoughts. Not giving you any sadhana or nothing. Just let these thoughts come. You remain open in it. Head open, head empty, heart full. But... what about me? Whatever you see after 'but,' actually I hear only 'what about me?' Nothing about you. You don't exist. That 'me' doesn't exist. Oh, good. Is it too choppy? Sorry. Yeah, I am introducing you to your Atma. Mostly what I hear is, 'It's all good, but something...' and that has to do with the ego. But what about me? The small me, the limited... exactly. So when we want to give room to both, okay, that is where the trouble comes. We want both to have a coexistent life, but that is not what it is. Because like you said, the lane is too narrow. These things are very literal, you know? They're very straightforward, what the sages have told us. But we have taken them to be some poetry. But when you do remember, then it's simple. Open means allowing everything to come. Allow everything to come. You're not resisting anything. You're not being resistive about anything which is perception, thought. Is that we recognize the nature of things that come is that they go. The nature of things is such that as they come, they also go, especially your thoughts. So remain empty. Don't serve them tea. To serve them tea would be to grab onto them as if they are portraying reality to you, as if they are conveying truth value about what is. That's why last time we were just looking at: what is this? If the thought had the capacity to convey the nature of even a perceptual reality, you see, then you could take it to be true. But it doesn't. That's why the masters, Zen masters, say to us: keep the front door open, the back door open. Thoughts are visitors, let them come and go. Don't serve them tea.

It's how to be open. And you mentioned that you can do that sometimes that you do remember, and then when you don't remember anything... so how do you... is there a way you can do a stage where you remember more and more?

Yes, yes. The more you do it when you do remember, the more you will remember. Why I am saying that is because many times when we do remember, the mind starts bothering us about those times where we hadn't remembered. 'Hey, no, no, see, I should have been open and...'

Come and go, don't serve them too. It's how to be open. And you mentioned that you can do that sometimes, that you do remember, and then when you don't remember anything. So, is there a way you can do a stage where you remember more and more? Yes, yes. The more you do it when you do remember, the more you will remember. Why I am saying that is because many times when we do remember, the minds are bothering us about those times where we hadn't remembered. 'Hey, no, no, see, I should have done open and empty instead of doing that,' you see? What we must do is now, we're gonna now we open it. It's very tricky that way because if you feel like you always have to do it, then there will be moments where you don't, and then the moments where you do remember that you should have, it will say, 'Oh, you should have, then why didn't you?' Then more tea is being served in that time instead of starting now. And then what happens is this will start to seem natural.

One metaphor that helps with this is that suppose you had the job of being a porter at the airport all your life, you see? So your job was to pick up bags from the conveyor belt. Then suddenly somebody tells you, 'But you retired three years ago. You can stop, you know. You can be here if you want, but stop picking up the bags.' So when you stop, but because you've done it for 50 years, the bag is coming. 'Yeah, maybe I should just help these people.' So we go back because actually we are just used to it; we want to do that. So what will happen is sometimes bags will come. So when I say bags, of course I'm referring to thoughts. Thoughts will come about, 'I should not have done this. Now it is not my job to pick up bags.' Bags with those labels will come and you still pick them up because you take them to be true. So instead of that, you see, just remember that you've been fired or you quit or you retired three years ago. You don't need to pick up those bags. So the conveyor belt of the mind just keeps going.

Our education in society has been the opposite so far. It has been to try and make meaning out of life using that which has been on the conveyor belt of the mind. But if you come to a point where you recognize that not one moment of truth is available there, then you can let that go and start to rely on a deeper intuitive insight. Nobody has come to this discovery and said, 'I don't want this, give me something else.' Nobody comes to the holy presence within and says, 'No, I should have had that, my favorite chocolate, to build that great house, or got that special thing I wanted.' Something is coming up to say, what is it within you that you can get within you itself that all this only grasping it dies down? All the sages have told us. Do you know that one also with a exactly? So looking for this treasure in the world everywhere, everyone dies without anything. But those who discovered the treasure within, they are the ones who are really happy in this world. And that's enough reassurance.

If you realize who lives in your heart, then you could never want anything else. But actually, in your mind, you don't have the potential to realize who lives in your heart. Who lives in your heart, you do.

You're just going back to the conversation about the God played in your self-consultation that you have about like whether it's your head. Do you have anything like that, your device for people who face such situations? Like, is there a way to know, yes, without that from your heart in that situation?

Yes, yes. So that's what I said. The foolproof method, of course, is that when your true self is apparent to you, then you are being intuitive. It feels that you have the insight to your Nirguna reality, which is only possible in due to the... so you're being intuitive because you are not able to use two instruments at the same time. So as you're being, as self-knowledge is apparent to you, then you're just coming from your heart. And self-knowledge is always apparent to you. As you're open and empty, it becomes seemingly hidden only under the hypnosis of a thought and under the hypnosis of identification. So as you open and empty, who you are is apparent to you. And as who you are is apparent to you, your life is unfolding in God's life. And if there's some guidance needed even in words, it can be provided from there.

Then he's like, make a consciousness in that moment?

Yes, look within and you realize that exactly what you should, exactly, exactly. For some time, to come to effortlessness will seem like some effort, okay? It's like the porter example I give. For him to just chill now, it'll take some effort because he's so used to picking up the bags from the conveyor belt. So the Masters have told us, as long as it seems like effort is needed to come to effortlessness, you must make that effort. It's very worthwhile, very.

A couple of days ago I felt that it was my intuition telling me to apply for something. But when I got around to sitting down, writing all that stuff, now focus that thing, God is some... I just engrossed in that.

So, but you can be engrossed, but were you of empty mind? That's fine too. And you start to notice these things. Like when I'm working here, I'm just like, okay, oh, it's just, it's just full looking. God's presence, of course, is fully here, but it's not, it's not mental. You'll lose sight of God when you are working when the mind is empty? You can't, actually. That's, that's... so even if that instruction came from God, while carrying out that instruction, if I lose sight of God, then it's better to stop the thing, yes, yes, and return to that. So maybe that instruction came so that we could have this conversation. You can't really say. That's what I'm saying, we can't determine the goodness or badness of something. Only God, only God knows in that way.

There are two aspects to it. The first aspect is that the goodness or badness of something has nothing to do with me. It's not good for me or bad for me. It's only how God's life has to play, firstly. And secondly, we do not have the capacity to see this. Like the examples, so many examples of so many wonderful beings being killed. Socrates being given the poison chalice, all of those things. We can never like, yeah, what is the point of guiding so many people to the truth and ultimately nobody in your society valued you and hardly anybody protested when Socrates was being given the poison chalice and he died? But he's still inspiring people today. So really, it is nothing to do with what's good for me or not. The good news is that there is no such me anymore.

But many times your intuition tells you to do something, but immediately your mind plays a role saying, 'No, you should...'

Yes, exactly. Many times, mostly. That's why I was like, continue with my quiet button, get used to living in the heart. So for that, then you should listen to your heart always. And the tips about how you know, because the mind also poses as the heart many times. It poses like the heart and the words sound very spiritual also. That is the spiritual ego. So how do you know? So that's why I was telling him also that when who you are is apparent to you again, is apparent to us, then we are following the heart. It is not possible for the true knowledge about the self to come from the head. There are other clues also, like you notice the mind is always rushing, always rushing. It's always a bit pushy, no? It's always saying, 'Fast, fast,' you know, like that. So you can notice these clues. And the heart is full of love, full of patience, and it's not rushing. But all these also the mind can confuse us with. The main thing is, is who you are apparent to you? And we'll come to that, we'll come to those conversations also where this is the foolproof way to be intuitive. As self-knowledge is apparent, when you have Brahma Gyan, then it is not possible to be egotistical.

But the first one is important to determine that I want to, because many times what can also happen is that the mind can play as if it is the heart. And also many times, like our emotion, you may feel like some excitement, so we may feel like that excitement is our heart. Not emotional, it's not thought, it's nothing perceivable that way. Like how do you know that you love Shubham even when he's bothering you, not listening to your instruction, he's waking up late, he's doing all of that stuff also? Suppose you're still in your heart, you're known, even if outwardly the emotion is anger. So you may say that, 'In my heart I wanted to slap.' No, but that's not in the heart we're talking about. That is the emotion center that most of the world calls that heart or the emotional center. But I'm talking about the Satguru presence within you, the intuitive presence within you, and we can never predict what it'll want. So I'm not talking about the... thank you, thank you for bringing that up because many times it may sound like I'm talking about the same heart that the world is saying. No, I'm not talking about that heart. They are talking about some emotion or excitement or something like that. I'm talking about inner guidance from God itself.

Yeah, what should she do? You really meet the true heart. Not the excitement of emotion, not the cautiousness of the head, but beyond that, what is her true heart feeling? So one of the clues is, I said, are you here? Is your presence apparent to you? That you notice only from your heart. You cannot notice as an object. You cannot think about it. That is also... so you can use that. Is your presence palpable? If your presence is palpable, you're coming from the heart. Is that God's light is palpable within you? So then you can follow that, you can follow that path.

It took me three years to actually come to the point of recognizing my being. I was not lucky at that point to have a living Master guiding me, so I was reading 'I Am That' and Maharaj. Maharaj was constantly pointing to this, but I don't know, what is this being? What is this Atma? What is this presence? And it just revealed itself. But I have some clues for you as you're sitting here. Try to not be. Don't mind that the question is absurd, just try it. Don't exist for a moment. Can you do it? What shows you that you have not succeeded? There's an insight, it's not just a thought. So try with all your might to not be. So you will notice the primordial vibration within you, the presence.

To imagine that, not feel like, because you are here, you know? Yeah. So keep every thought aside, keep everything possible, impossible, just keep that aside. Don't be right now. You notice something in there. What is there? You can... so okay, I'll take it slowly. Suppose one by one all of your senses were going. Sight is going, hearing is going, smell is going, touch is going, taste is going. All of them are gone. But did you go along with any of them? You're still here. That is your presence. It's not something in perception. You cannot think about it. You cannot be rational about it also. This has to be met, just like in love, you cannot think about it or explain it to someone or rationalize it. This is the presence from which love comes—true love, not desire or desperation.

So my job is to introduce you to this and keep reminding you of this and keep questioning you saying, if God is here, why are you valuing anything else? What else is important? Is it because if it is truly important, it will be important for God also? It will guide you to it. The mind gets very scared. 'Is he saying I have to leave my family? Is he saying...' I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying that the importance or unimportance of something gets determined only in God's light. In our mind, we don't have the capacity to determine that. So that calls for trust. That calls for trust to find God and then to live in God's will. It can call for an immense faith. So everyone has a boundary to which they will follow. They will have a boundary like I said, 'Yes, yes, please God bless me, but don't touch my money,' or 'God bless me, don't do this.' Whatever that boundary is...

I'm just saying that the importance or unimportance or something gets determined only in God's light. In our mind, we don't have the capacity to determine that. So that calls for trust. That calls for trust to find God and then to live in God's will. It can call for an immense faith. So everyone has a boundary to which they will follow. They will have a boundary like I said, 'Yes, yes, please God bless me, but don't touch my money,' or 'God bless me, don't do this.' Whatever that boundary is, but even that boundary we must bring to God itself and say that, 'My faith extends to this point actually; it extends to here. Please help me with this.'

Fundamentally, there is no conflict actually because as what we take ourselves to be, we have to be obedient to one of the two voices. There is no third way of living. We have to have this question. So we have to be obedient to the mind or we have to be obedient to the heart. If you don't like the word obedience, follow at least. No? You can either follow the mind or we can follow the heart. Is there a third way?

It is both. That's yeah, so that's either. So sometimes you use the car and sometimes you use the scooter, but it's only one of these two.

So that's what I'm saying. So who would you rather follow? In that way, then, obedience doesn't seem that scary. But sometimes it's okay to feel a bit scared because we take ourselves to be too special. Like, 'How can I be obedient to God?' Even things to be that alphabet is important. But really, what are we saying? It's between two voices, two prompts within us, you see. So there's the prompt from your heart and there's a prompting from your head. You're being guided to follow the right prompting now. Of course, your head will fight that with all its might.

If you know who's giving the hukum, then to follow the hukum cannot seem oppressive. It's in that hukum that the whole galaxy and universe and all its light and sound and play is happening. We say, 'Oh, the sun is shining in that one light,' but I won't follow, I don't want to be obedient, I don't like the word hukum. It's not up to you then; keep following the mind.

So as when we take ourselves to be human, we overestimate two things. We overestimate our potential to understand. You know, this is and that is a bane and a boon to humanity because it's a bane in the way that we have the capacity to ask the biggest questions. You can ask the biggest question: Why did God create this world? Why am I here? What is going to happen? What is the truth about anything? What exists? What doesn't exist? What is a good way to live? You see? So human asks these questions. We have the ability to ask these questions, you see, but we do not have the ability in the same source of these questions to have the answers.

From where we can ask the question—from the mind—the answer cannot come. Why did God create the universe? So then we use theories. 'Oh, it's a Leela, God is just having fun,' or 'It's a revolution,' or 'The unmanifest is enjoying the manifest.' We'll provide theories. All the theories are there in religion, but can anyone say that is the true answer? No. Because God is much vaster than our mind can understand, than any 'why' can capture.

So that is the first thing: that we have the ability to ask the big question, but we don't have the ability to find the answer in the same way. Why I said it's a bane and a boon is, the bane is that it's full of confusion and arguments and trouble belief systems because of that. But it's also a boon because when we realize that these questions are there, but the answers are not available in our head, then we can try to look for another source of insight. That is what the rishis said, that they did not think of the Vedas and wrote them. It was a Shruti. They said they heard it. What was that hearing? The heart's voice. We may think, 'Oh, it's coming from some news.' It's not. It's within you. They were written from their heart, and it is the same Satguru presence which had guided them. The one who wrote the Vedas or any spiritual scripture has been written by the same Satguru presence which is within you, available to you to guide you. It's not a different one.

So when we realize that my mind is limited—it can ask the big question but does not have the capacity to grasp the big answers—then we turn to our intuitive insight. And even the scientists, everybody's done it. Einstein also said that, 'I grappled and grapple in my head, but eventually when the answer comes, it comes from my intuition.' It's in every real scientist who's truly devoted to this. Even sports people, everybody said so. To recognize the limited capacity of the mind to find answers is very important, but that leads you to the Satguru within you, your intuitive insight.

So I said that there were two things. The second is that as long as we take ourselves to be human, we have to follow one of two voices: the mind's voice or the heart's voice. Now the heart's voice is not always a voice; it's not always a concept. It can just be like an actual unfolding in the light of Being. That's also to follow God's will. But we are just what we take ourselves to be. Actually, that doesn't exist, but while we take ourselves to be that, we have to be obedient to one of two masters. And we try to be obedient to both and it becomes too difficult. So please get that we have limited capacity in our heads to understand, and secondly, we don't have this privilege of not following the prompting from within. Of course, when the identity drops fully, then you may feel like that there is no actual choice because you are Being itself; you're following your own prompting. But we don't have to rush to those sort of conclusions. Still, our life becomes an evidence of that already.

Imagine that I am offering you the biggest gift in this universe and I have to sell it thrice a week. Jesus, where he says, 'If you can cure...' and then he said, 'That's my faith also. Please help me overcome my disbelief.' Thank you. Yeah, 'I believe; help me overcome my disbelief.'

At some level, we should be jumping with joy for the possibility of such a discovery, but at another level, it is bound to seem difficult because it is the end of selfishness. It is the end of what we take to be 'my life,' 'my will.' We feel a bit resisting. You pray for God as if you're a cat, but when you find God, then the cat has to go. But I started this to make the cat happy, to make the cat find God! You cannot be selfish and be with God. In fact, you can't even be selfish about being with God and be selfish.

So this when you say 'don't be,' not that sensation you feel in the chest. I suddenly remembered it's sort of like on those amusement parks, it just you just go down real quick, roller coaster or one of those things. Yeah, I think it was that same thing, like that feeling.

Okay, so when I say 'don't be,' you may experience that vibration. Of course, of course. And that also is subtler than what the roller coaster experience is as well. But when I ask you, 'What is the boundary to that Being?' it's unlimited. But if I asked you, 'How much excitement or fear are you experiencing?' you'd say, 'It's here; it's restricted to here.' That's a big difference because you're coming to the vibration of the unlimited Being. So you may be perceiving just the tiniest lifeline that it is giving to us, but its immensity is vast, which is not the case with most of these emotions that we feel. How many of them? Any of them?

Once you spoke about the idea of play or playfulness dealing with our situations because many, if not most of the time, it appears to be way bigger than... and yeah, I mean, I know we just spoke about being open and empty, but even at the pure problem level, even before getting to open and empty—and I'm not saying on children, I mean that's the journey—but you spoke something about play. I think I don't remember exactly.

You already digested it. Yeah, many times I've often said just don't take yourself too seriously anymore. I guess what we were talking about, I was confused, is everybody else around might be telling you that it's a very serious matter. Yes, telling you that it's not that it's serious for me. Yeah, it's having that confidence to... yeah, it can get to you in society, it can get you in trouble.

So I remember one time some we had this very difficult business situation, unethical partner. He did a lot of false cases against us and things like that. So at one time there was some like non-bailable warrant against my brother's name, my father's name. And when I heard this news, we were sitting in my father's house. I heard this and I just started laughing. My brother got so upset. He's like, 'What are you laughing at?' I don't know. I felt in my heart it's all fine. So I just laughed. So it's not... it doesn't help you with social skills. Yeah, one is your internal strife: who is the mind, who is the heart? And you know, we talked about that whole circle today. Sometimes the heart is very clear, but the oppression is from outside. Yeah, the media is only through the mind. Yeah, yeah, they cannot. So the battleground is only that. Independent of what's happening in front of you, if it doesn't get you from there, it's meant that the layer of challenges, the game is raised. Now, of course, now do you truly believe in your heart?

And to firstly to follow a Master itself gives you practice of that because you'll hear contradictions. He will say one day like that, one day like this. You may not like him one day; you may love him one day. It's difficult. So that itself gives us enough practice. Pressure from society... and you can imagine, see the last part I was facing, oppression from society and your heart. Don't either act against it, and you did. So they helped you. You need to share any example? Anecdotes are there or stories, but I feel like constantly, like even the smallest things. I don't know if somebody's examples will come, but even about, you know, like this beard is just unkempt, his hair is going all over the place. So parents, in-laws, everybody just get it to him. And I'm not saying never get a trim or something.

It is so... anything about work. Sometimes what happens is that in our work, I find myself negotiating on the other guy's side most of the time. Then that can be very troublesome. So because it's not possible here to think from a limited perspective, from an individual perspective, and say, 'Yeah.' So it's just not possible. So many times I'm like, you know, as the negotiation is still on and things like that, I'm like, 'No, but that's good, that's...' I thought, 'What? Absolutely glad it happens.' I don't know, these silly examples are coming.

So we went to buy a fridge. I think Garima told everyone that day we're going to buy a fridge, and this was few years back. And she says to the guy, 'No, but we'll go there and get it because it's like people over there and things like that.' So, 'No, no, he's right here, it's okay, you buy it from him.' So yeah, also sometimes you get that thing that the response from the other one saying, feeling that, 'But I had a little more in my pocket, you know, I could have...' then they dance a bit more oppression. I don't know. Like many... if you talk to my family and friends and things, they will say I'm very stubborn. So I don't know that is in response to something. All of a sudden feel like I'm very sweet and nice? No. You keep saying no, then people feel like you're very stuck on your thing. But you have all have to come from your heart when you do this. Yeah, go tell your families now. The strength has to come from your heart, not from some mental conviction.

I don't really have to do anything; it just does it kind of mostly. That's why I said that as we open and empty, most of your life will unfold in the light of God's presence without any resistance. It's all fine. But... and I feel like that's what Gopala's point also was. But don't discount the fact that you could get a jog from within or you could get a pointing from within which may not seem easy to the mind because if you're if—

It has to come from your heart, not from some mental conviction. I don't really have to do anything; it just does it, kind of. Mostly, that's why I said that as we open and empty, most of your life will unfold in the light of God's presence without any resistance. It's all fine. And I feel like that's what Gopala's point also was. But don't discount the fact that you could get a job from within, or you could get a pointing from within, which may not seem easy to the mind. Because if you are going to be used as an instrument to share God's light, you must first be willing to follow 100% yourself. So we cannot set boundaries to God and say, 'No, no, God just unfolds naturally; He can never guide you.' But He is guiding you like this through this mouth, so He can guide you from your heart as well.

All the sages have told us that they were guided by God, so why would it not be available to us? These are distinctions which our mind makes; they're not true for God. You're not saying, 'Oh, this one is a sage; this is not my child, I will not speak.' Lose yourself. It becomes apparent to you that is, yeah, something you started doing there.

But when you started saying, 'I'm not following that,' I mean, I feel that whatever is said to me is very clear and it was undoubted. It was completely... you can go to the most... but you're still not following it. Then why am I not following that life? You know, I mean, why am I not following my conviction? Why am I still believing the mind's voice? And even my music, that I'm not a 'me' anymore. Yesterday I said, 'Why is there still a doubt?' I mean, if you said it like you're the voice of this intuition, then why should I not listen to it? No, I mean, in that sense, it's not getting exactly... why am I still not believing?

No, let's see. We're going to provide a simple metaphor for this. So there are two roads in which we can go. One is the mind's way. And one is called the mind's way because of habit we have taken it to be 'my way.' That's my way—Frank Sinatra and all that, right? So, to that way is the idea that 'This way I get to live on my own terms.' But there is no such thing as my own terms; it is the mind's terms which we have taken to be our terms, you see? The other way, which seems distinct and difficult, is actually God's way, which is truly my way because I am one with God in reality. Which is your way? You are one with God in reality. But that seems to be alien, distant, difficult, full of sacrifice, full of needing faith, all of that. This is the turnaround that the mind has been able to sell to us, and that is the potency of Maya. Maya is potent under the obedience of the mind. So that which is truly my way seems a difficult road to travel, you see? The one that is the mind's limited voice, the ego's ideas, that seems to be my way.

So now to switch from that, moving from head to heart, you see, what would we love? We would love for things to be my way, but with God's help. The ego's way, but with God also helping it. It is the best! So even when we say, 'Let Thy will be done,' we're actually saying, 'It'll be really nice if it's my will and You can help.' So we want a God-assisted life. You want a God-assisted life, not a God-dictated one. And that one that wants that is not your reality. That which can be opposed to God's will, can it be real?

Be careful of boredom. Thank you for pointing that out. Boredom is mostly an alien concept here. Then how can you go out of your own company? If you knew who was here, your life would change. Boredom is what? You're sitting alone, nothing to do. Best! You get time with God, quality time with God. How can you be bored? Because kids your age, of course—my kids constantly—'I am bored.' They have everything at their disposal: all the consoles, every TV channel, everything. 'I am bored.' They're just expressing a resistance and dissatisfaction with what is, what you are, as well as what is showing up. It's very subtle because it seems very harmless. 'I'm not smoking, I'm not drinking, I'm not doing drugs, I'm just bored.' But many times it is boredom itself that becomes a fertile ground for the ego and also many times to bad habits. 'I need to bring some more excitement into this, I need to get someone...'

So what are we saying? Some perceptions have to change. It's not enough, you know. But how does this change anyway? If you are happy with what is here, and if you find you start living with this, you'll see that boredom is an alien concept. So if somebody tells me, like, for the next one week there's nothing at all going to happen in your life, I'm very happy.

Once we can determine who it is, then all the 'whys' can be seen through. So why should I open this door and not that door? It all depends on who you are. Who is the one that has to open the door? And that's why I said that if you're a giraffe, the answer will be different. If you're a rabbit, the answer will be different. If you're a mongoose, the answer will be different. So why does a giraffe have a long neck? It's a different answer than why does the snake have a long neck. I'm stretching the metaphor really hard, but it's first important to determine who we are. And our mind hates the 'who' question and it loves the 'why' question. But what is the more important one? All the 'whys' depend on the 'who.' So who are we then?

I'm giving you this answer because I don't want to give you the lame ones, the team, you know, the lemon. Mostly it's the design of the Leela. It is meant to be compulsive, just like the director directs a movie to be relatable. In the same way, that is in the design of this play. So that's one answer. Then the second answer is that only when the metal is truly crushed does it start to shine. It's just an evolution moving towards a higher love. All of these things will take away the 'why' question, but it's all rubbish. It's like submission. If we settle for any of those, it's fine provisionally, but I really want to push all of you beyond the mind's tendency to say 'why, why.' We don't even know why we exist. Why am I? Why am I? You don't know the 'why' and because you are, all of this is. But I would suggest before the 'why' question, let's go to the 'who' question. Who is here? Why can't we answer this one?

Observe how the mind is attracted to knowing why and runs away from who. Just one letter different. Because we rely on our story building based on seeming rationality. Why? Cause and effect is something that has God by the throat. Why does something happen? What is the cause of this? What is the effect of this? I'm pointing you to something which is beyond time, so all this cause and effect collapses. What could you say about a mind-assisted life but not a mind-dictated life? Terrible, horrible stuff. The snake is not designed to assist you. It's not Alexa or Siri. It's designed to pretend to be a friend but to dominate and to rule. At least I have to say from my experience, you know what happened many times? In America they have these... they're like super bold, so they have taken like tigers and lions to be pets and they feel like they can tame them. And many of them, they like love them, they have been nothing like that. But there are many cases where the tiger has killed them all. So why would I suggest that to you when you have God in your heart? Why do you want to get assisted by the mind? It's only the problem that God will now serve you. What's the problem? Is God's guidance a problem in God, right? And not the idea of 'me.' It will answer the ego on my laptop.

I mean, it's just lack of faith because it just seems so completely even to what, say, the mind is saying, and I'm just not trusting this one. I mean, this is said very clearly and then it's said it's not now, but still there's no faith in that older voice then. Yeah, and we keep saying, 'Don't have that faith.' I never understood the love, but I'm so blessed to, you know, to enjoy my presence and reunion suddenly, not like... the mind wants to celebrate them and spoil the party. Yeah, so I give it to you, these also, this quick tendency for claiming, but also get you... like I feel, you know, with all this beauty there that I enjoy with you, yes, it is a big domestic play that also I give to you.

I'm so happy you spot this and surrender. It is beautiful. The mind can hold on to some trump cards, some trump cards, and if it finds an opportunity... but yeah, what that means, ah man, in my life and in every way, I mean manifestation and as well as the inner country. They know, they know. I mean, vigilance is lacking sometimes to spot these things. Very beautiful vigilance.

And why nothing upset? Huh? It's a whole thing. What happened is there... it's funny that I have to explain this, but so I heard, like I saw him from there, I heard him from here, and just it moved like that, and then I just forgot that he had said... but then he didn't ask me nothing, nothing had to do with you. Oh yeah, something else. Yeah, no, it's just mostly self-loathing and the patterns are recognized. There's a story that's been going on for a couple of years now, like why you ask me directly in theater or no? Because part of my psyche, like the secondary or something, when I came back there was like an idea: you did that because he needed me to see that the way that my mind works sometimes is really different conversations, or even without speaking. Then I actually blessed the situation that's actually going on and I start by trying to confuse the other person. No, but it's true, but it plays out like that. And so I've been like reading about on myself that, you know, happy skills, but it kind of goes away. I don't really want to look at what something... maybe find the track like that which then feels like this is just one of them. Take up anything actually, like create a plot about this. This is exactly why that person said it like yesterday. It helps partly, largely, basically that's about it. That's about it. Not truthfulness that comes out of this one, untruths. I don't know what the words... the story of the person.

In any case, as long as we are playing with the mind, it is... what is the genuineness? Because you're from the heart, there's no other judge of genuineness but the heart. Yeah, yeah.

So it seemed like I had to actually sort of shut down everything. So that's why I was in that kind of a mold to try and prevent myself getting triggered or going into any sort of narration.

Okay, so I can't build a wall, sort of. Yes, but I'm giving you a more attractive way now, you know, for the last few months, which is to tell you that God is here. How does it matter how you are, what you need to do, when you will do it, what happened, when God is here?

Every time you see me, actually the pointer isn't just the sound of your voice itself; it's like an immediate wake up right now. It's like a friend reminded me who I was, and this like immediate naturalness that comes out. I mean, realized right after.

But do you see that that is very good? It's very good, but it is secondary. Secondary to the fact that God is here. It doesn't matter what happens to us in that. It's like God is here. Krishna is here, Ram is here, Jesus is here, Allah is here. Here! How long after Krishna that I will start taking our vital stats? What is this called? Science? So this you can come like that first, and God is here. Yeah, and then quickly like switch back to 'me.' Okay, what does this mean for me? Nothing for you. God is here.

The voice that catches me is a very disapproving voice like that, very, very difficult. So it kind of in a position of the way feature.

So that's the identification. But this we must talk about because this channel also had the same thing the other day and we had quite a good... to get it out this time. But He's not here for me, like I will never find them. All the other kids are finding, maybe true for them, but I don't know very well. I'm happy to have those over the last few years. Every time a pointing comes up and I say, when these things come up, I let whatever solution has to play.

So it kind of is in a position of the way feature, so that's the identification. But this we must talk about because this channel also had the same thing the other day and we had quite a good time to get it out this time. But he's not here for me. Like, I will never find them. All the other kids are finding, maybe true for them, but I don't know very well. I'm happy to have those over the last few years. Every time a pointing comes up and I say, when these things come up, I let whatever solution has to play, play out by myself. Like seeing through that shape, the suggestion. So it feels like that was too complicated with you, like because maybe there's some diffidence, so you don't want to bring it out or expose or whatever. It's finding an alternative track which seems to be convoluted.

What I'm saying is God is here. You're saying that this voice comes. If you believe that voice, only then it is trouble. So when you believe it, say it.

That's right. That's how I'm trying to build a strategy to not be able to believe that because it—

No, don't do that. If you're believing it, say what does it say? What's the time? It says, 'I have no idea.' You have no idea, but I do. Yes, I have to attack me also, of course. But for now, if it's saying that, that is good. So I am telling you God is here. And then I'm saying that if it is not apparent to you, it is not apparent to you, then let's do this: let's find it. Let's see if it is true. Have I spoken about worthiness, deserving, whether you will get it or not get it? None of them. None of those are conditioned. So now, what is your insight into this statement that God is here?

When you say God is here, it's different from when you're talking about something else because it's a separate thing. Like, it's a separate—when you say God is here, it's an all-inclusive, like this reality.

Yes. So you're confirming?

Yeah, yeah.

Good. So then what worthiness is left if you can already confirm it?

It's like I'm being pulled into a fight I don't want to fight, but I am still getting put back into it.

Okay. What are the contours? Right. On one hand, you're having an insight that this is true, God is here.

Yeah. On the other side, the voices that come up are selling ideas of who I am, what this God thing is all about.

Let's do it in real time. God is here. Yeah? You see it? We have an insight into it. Yeah. You are here. How do you know?

Because I'm using the proof. I haven't approved myself, that's all.

Are you inferring that?

No, I don't know how to point to myself. Yeah, but insight is clear.

Yes. So this 'you' presence is God's presence. And you don't need to, because I have said it is. But suppose you needed proof: you can check. It is limitless, it has no name, it has no form, it has no desire.

So the thing is, the animals for the formless part and objects around, yeah, it needs some basis. Like when you're talking about an object, like visually or even like a thought concept, right? And this not being a form, I have—

Yeah, let me see if I can help. Saying to conclude the formlessness of something, there must be a basis, and you don't have the basis for that?

No. The reason why I brought that up was because I needed to build an argument to dismiss the actual thoughts that are coming with—

What I'm saying is that real time now, it doesn't matter what you have to do, what you did, where you are. None of that is important now. You are here. Yeah? This presence is God's presence. Okay? So far, hold on to it. How? With what instrument? Dismissing everything else that's coming up. What is that everything else?

Yeah, good. That's good. The right thing then, holding on to this, dismissing but not forcefully. So it's okay, but you're basically letting it come and go.

Right. You're fighting, you're evaluating, you're like that. Don't do that. Just let them come. They're going anyway. It's like the bird flew into the house; it's flying out anyway. What you were saying: 'You should not have come. You're wrong because you came.' Because it's flying out, you don't have to do any of that effort. Okay? No. Just so this presence is God. Nothing else is important then. Even when something comes, nothing else is important. This presence is God's presence. You have met it, and therefore your life has ceased to be a zombie life because you cannot meet this if you're obsessed with your self, your faults, your likes and dislikes, your desires and aversions. So this itself is a beautiful meeting now, with the force of even my words to tell you that this is that. What else? What other problem, what other situation could be relevant?

So then they don't have any attractive power then. So which one, which theme is still attractive?

Because this is the strangeness of Maya. This is the Leela. God is being found and our mind is judging, sitting and making conclusions, and still that seems attractive. How is it possible?

The general theme is about who I am in my life, my projections to the future.

None of that is relevant in the light of God's presence. Nothing that appears in this world is relevant. None of it. Especially what you think about it is completely irrelevant. And when it pertains to your life, what you call your life, you have nothing to do with it. It is the life of this presence. You have nothing to do with that which you call your life. It is the life of this light. It is the life of this presence. The 'you' that you take yourself to be doesn't exist. This light you have found, that exists. So whose life is this? Maybe this one. You don't have to infer also; I'm just pointing to what is. So this life is for this one. So don't take it to be your life. That is surrender. How you have to be, what you say, what you don't say, whether you're liked or disliked, whether you're being true or you're being false—leave all of them. Yeah? It's like if suddenly one day you realize that the sun is not out in the sky, it's living in your heart. The sun is not out in the sky, it's living in your heart. Would you then go after all the small, small things and 'my life' and all of those things? You know the sun has come to live in your heart. But what I am pointing to is that in whose light even the sun rises, much beyond the sun, that is living in your heart. And we are wasting time on peanuts.

I know this.

Yes, you're knowing. All of us know it here. This is the power of Maya, that the most unessential, unimportant things seem like they are priority. About this, I am telling you that—and I am speaking literally, not poetically—that in whose light the sun shines is in your heart. Yes, it's in your heart. So what else can be important?

It's not even like a firm, confirmed thought thing. It's not even firm. It's just like a sense that I've already doubted it, like nothing else.

This thought is telling you the story right now. You are now—tell me real time. The thought can be very intricately designed. The mind is a master sculptor. It can design with the right bait, you see? It's auditioning for your attention and belief. So obviously it'll put the right bait, and like a fish, you will grab it.

Which is why I have taken on a project of like, I need to shine light on it, really like strongly to expose.

So right now, God is here now. No project. Doesn't matter what you've done in the past, nothing. I am telling you that the thought will be designed intricately like bait for your attention and belief, and yours is always: do not buy into it. Don't get baited. That's all. Nothing real time. All right? Okay. Don't get baited. That's the only job. Don't get enamored by it. Don't get amused by it. It has zero value. Of course. That's what I'm here for. Don't make attachment about anything. Don't determine the nature of anything. Now, huh? A lot of years to come up to me and come and go, and it doesn't mean things can't come. There's so much. So what is the approach we should take? Because we will believe it, all right? What should be the approach? Don't believe the next one. That's all. If you go on that road too—'I should not have had that thought, why did I, I need to fix this by doing this project'—no project. Exactly. Thank you. That is out there for a while. It will feel like work, and I guess what? After a while, it'll be natural. So when we talk about sacrifice, not wanting anything for the 'me,' not any of that. Because without detecting that, I'm finding that these thoughts, they still take to be true somewhere. So I'm just stopping them away. In satsang collectively, your thoughts of pride, thoughts of specialness, thoughts of all of these things can be attractive. So that's why humility, that's my sacrifice all the time, you know? If you start buying just thoughts which are too humble, special.