To Come to God, To Come to Being… Is Simply To Recognize Your Very Existence – 4th February 2022

The rest of it is just dealing with but, but, but, but, you see? And that but is about desire. It is about what I want even from this. So whether we call it expectation or resistance or conditions, it doesn't matter. Now your being that is just being, is it just being without an idea of anything at all? How can it suffer? Try to, as your being, suffer without any idea. Anybody who succeeds can raise their hand. I want to see a being that can suffer notionlessly in the unborn. You can do it? I realize I can, I can sense the buts are starting to rise, but stay with me for a bit. You can see that this being is untroubled. It isn't troubled this very moment. Without doing any sadhana, nothing needed, in this moment you are untroubled and unhassled by anything.

Yes, you could have started five minutes ago in some deep sort of mental knees, as if I'm stuck in a big chakravyuh, you know, which is simply to recognize that my being is just being. It wants nothing, it needs nothing, it has no boundary, it has no limitation, it is not opposed to anything, it is not for anything. Just are. Who has lost me so far? Ask me, anyone. Now whose being is this? Who can say property of what, whom? Whose being is it? Who does it belong to? Does it belong to your parents? Does it belong to society, your children, partner? Whose being? The idea that we take ourselves to be, the being takes itself to be—can I belong to any idea like that? Who can hold this being? Who can control it? It's beyond all these considerations, isn't it? Anyone not recognizing what I'm saying? And don't get into peer pressure. I'm not going to give you marks, passing, failing marks. It's clear so far? Clear.

Then now try to make yourself suffer. Your being is just too free. It's not allowed like that. It's too free too soon, too soon, not allowed. So suffer a bit. How will you do it? How will you do it? So you may get a thought. You may say, "But I am suffering," or "It's not that easy," "He doesn't understand my life or my situation." Some thought like that. You need at least something. So believe it. Believe it, identify. You can do it if you try hard enough. Succeeding? Kind of, sort of. Some have that expression like, "If I really tried I could, but I know what happens when I do it." But even if you did believe and even if you did suffer right now, all gone. What kind of magic is this? You could have suffered for a long time, but right now your being is back to full being, full power. So it is not in time. You are not in time.

So you come to what I am pointing to instantly, and whatever process has to be taken care of, let that be my problem. You don't worry about things that are in time. Let time be my problem. Let what is here beyond time be discovered by you right now. And whatever the mind will propose to you saying, "But what will happen when I leave satsang?" all that nonsense, let that be my problem. Yes. So the recognition of what I am pointing to and the dropping of this conditioning, both are my—clicker is not working—that's it. Now if you take on projects which you don't need to take on, which is to make yourself always happy or stay in this state constantly or some nonsense idea like that, then you will invite yourself to become an object in time again. Because then you're concerned about always and constantly and all these things in time.

And what you have to take yourself to be to think that you have to always be happy? You have to take yourself to be what you're not. Saying, "Oh, God's presence that is here should always be happy." We're talking again about yourself as a body-mind, as an object in time, in space. But what you're recognizing yourself to be, this being, where is it sitting? In which space is it? Inside of you? Inside being is inside, but inside what? I can tell you that inside the body is just more bodily things: blood, flesh, bones. So it is inside you but not in space, inside you but not in time. And therefore we have to use terms like inside provisionally. Actually, to what you are, there is no such thing as inside or outside.

Okay, now that's it. That's all that we need to really say. But one important tip I want to give you is that if you go to the wrong instrument, you will only get the wrong measurements. So what are the wrong instruments for truth? As we call the truth, what are the wrong instruments? Everything you think you can use or try or put effort. If you try, you've already gone too far. If you're trying, you've already gone too far. So anything you can use which is, "I can use my sight. Where is it? Where is it? Where is my Self?" I can use my sight and I can look for everything that sight can go to, but I will not find the Self. Same with hearing, same with touch, same with this, same with feel, same with everything. Okay, so understand that.

The second thing is that you can use your head. "I will think of God, I will believe in God, I will convince myself that I am Brahman itself." It will not help. That is the wrong instrument. Anything else you got? Any other tools? Try and use the body to do some yoga and pranayama and things like that. It may make you a little peaceful—peace of mind, all those things may come—but it is not so that you come to the direct discovery of God. What else can you use? You may say, "I can use my intuition," but actually you can't. You can't use your intuition. When you stop using your other stuff, then intuition is apparent. You can't go to this intuition and say, "Intuition, please help me."

You see, I'm going to give you another example. She wrote to me the other day, she said, "I am trying to intuitively grasp something." See, and this is when this point became apparent here, that actually it is another mind trick, subtle as it may be. Because the minute we say, "I'm intuitively trying to grasp something," it is not intuition. The mind grasps. Intuition doesn't need to grasp. Divine intelligence, your true intelligence—there is no question of grasping over there. So grasping is the way to suffer. So don't let your mind convince you that, "Okay, I'm going to try and use my intuition about this and try to solve this with my intuition" or something like that. So that is one tip: that if you're trying to use intuition, it is not intuition. When you stop trying, intuition becomes apparent.

And the second tip is: don't use intuition to try and be right. "Oh, I went to my intuition, but intuition said it's going to rain tomorrow," you see? So it was supposed to rain today according to my intuition, and then my intuition needs some servicing or maintenance because it didn't rain today. It's not for things like this. So intuition will just guide you in a way that is more auspicious to you. It is not concerned with your idea of true and false or right and wrong. Very important point, because we feel like we will use intuition like a superpower in this world and then we will become, we'll have some great mastery in this realm because we are intuitive. That is not the point. Your intuition can tell you something which is completely different from how things will play out, just because that was most auspicious for your growth. It is not constrained by our notional ideas of truth and falsehood. Okay?

But the main point is, if you find yourself being like that, then you're not searching for truth. Forget about it. Seekers feel like, "I only want the truth, I'm really all for it." You've already gone too far, sitting on the truth. No, anyway, "I'm going to spend the rest of my life looking for truth only." But see where you are offered what is here. Whose presence is this? So don't the ego, it sort of stands to be truth or intuition. So whatever you can use, forget about it. And if they can get used in the normal functioning of life, and they will be used in the waking state, perception is bound to appear and your thoughts don't have to stop, all that can continue. But try to use perception or thought for the discovery of that which is prior to any of this phenomenal stuff is impossible.

Okay, so how to find it? Stop using the right instrument and tell me if you've not succeeded. Stop using the lens of the wrong instrument or the wrong spectacles. It's clear. As I've been saying these days, what do you find without your mind? If you found yourself right now, how do you know? I say you are all discovering yourselves; it was a guarantee at the start of satsang. Now how do you know that you failed or succeeded? Either way, how would you know? "This has to be there"—forget about it. "Body pain must go away"—forget about it. "Partners angry with you should come running to your arms"—forget about it. How will you know that you found yourself? So to expect perceptual byproducts to confirm our freedom is another trap that spiritual seekers fall into, and perceptual byproducts can seem very compelling.

Discovering yourselves was a guarantee at the start of satsang. Now, how do you know that you failed or succeeded? Either way, how would you know? 'This has to be there'—forget about it. 'Body pain must go away'—forget about it. 'Partners angry with you should come running to your arms'—forget about it. How will you know that you found yourself? So, to expect perceptual byproducts to confirm our freedom is another trap that spiritual seekers fall into. And perceptual byproducts can seem very compelling. Close your eyes, ask yourself 'Who am I?' and then all space, space, space, space, space everywhere. Forget about it if you can put it, because when that space doesn't come after 'Guru Maharaj, who am I?' you will say inquiry stopped working for me. But the inquiry was not 'What is space?' because who are you? That witness is even space. Is that spacious? Sometimes originally we have to use these words like space, but it's not. The mind can make like outer space out of it, but that's not the space.

So, if you cannot rely on perception to confirm your freedom, then what can you rely on? Nothing. Nothing. Are you aware now? That confirmation comes from work. It's just very natural, you see. When we say by itself, we're just saying it's so organic that we didn't really have to use our minds or our perceptual tools. And because it is that organic, we don't value it. Most of humanity doesn't value it. But that insight is your intuitive insight. We feel like effort equals value. This is just... he asks, or Master says, 'Ask yourself who am I?' I look and I find myself to be this Self, empty of all perception, empty of all concept. But it's so effortless, what's the big deal in that? Because in the human condition, we've been taught that which you have to work hard for, you have to put in a lot of effort into, that is worth something. Everything else is not worth anything.

But in this case, in spirituality, it is just the other way around. What is simplest? Simplest. Sitting where you are is simple enough? Yes, I am sitting. Simple enough. What is one step simpler than that? I am. Even to sit or stand, you actually have to take yourself to be this body and then look at the perception of the body and confirm 'I am sitting.' Without needing to do that, you can confirm that you are, isn't it? Is it just sounding like words or are you all with me? You are confirming that you are sitting. You're not confirming that, oh, some guy said no, I am sitting, isn't it? So I'm just going... so this confirmation that I am sitting, now first you have had to confirm 'I am' before you unite sitting, standing, lying down, looking, listening—all that. All verbs will come later, isn't it? I am. And how simply you confirm it: I am.

This 'I am' is the holy 'I', the presence of God itself. That's why suffering is actually a ludicrous sort of concept. God is sitting here in your heart—let's use, like, just to be a bit poetic—in your heart. The greatest Being in the universe, the only Being in the universe, is that. And yet, after identifying, after taking itself to be what the mind is proclaiming, it seems like here is such a tiny, insignificant object. It is shaken by everything that can happen in life. Anything that the tiny object cannot be shaken by? Almost everything: relationships, money, body, spiritual seeking. 'I am not getting it.' But even to say 'I am not getting it,' 'I am' has to be first recognized. So even in that one statement, as you traverse the statement, you got it. I. I. That's it. You don't have to go any further. Then 'I am' is also notable. You are still at Being. So Being, notable. Anything you add after that is where the trouble starts. 'I am getting it, but I get lost sometimes.' Another thing: you don't believe it to be true. I'm not putting you down that way, I'm just saying that from the perspective of truth, it's complete nonsense.

So, who is not here right now? I don't even mean attentively. Even to not pay attention, you have to be. So I'm not confusing Being with attention also. You may say, 'I am here, but I'm not being attentive because my sixth chakra was opening up, so I couldn't really hear what you were saying.' But still, you have to be there to notice even that, isn't it? So you are here now. This 'you', if you take it to be body, mind, or limited in any way, you'll cause yourself trouble. If you don't take yourself to be any of that, there is no trouble. And to take yourself means you have to bring both attention and belief to some piece of nonsense. Both attention and belief. Oftentimes I use the example of bank lockers where you have to turn the key and the banker has to turn the key and then the lock opens. So if you just bring your attention to nonsense—'Oh, I'm just this little old me'—what's going to happen? This is attention. But without attention, nothing. You don't perceive it anyway. Attention is the light of perception. So once you perceive it, nothing can force you to buy into it.

No matter how much the thought comes and says, 'No, no, belief happens on its own, you see, I can't help it,' all of that stuff is taking yourself to be what? Not God, for sure. Not Being, for sure. It's already selling to you that you are 'little old me.' How can you help believing in a thought? Belief just happens automatically. Ten years I've heard this, and yet all the masters tell us the same thing. Guruji says, 'Don't identify, don't log in.' Now, if it is not possible for you to do it, why would he say that? As a 'don't believe your next thought.' If it is not possible for us to do as consciousness, why would we say it? Bhagavan said only one choice you have to make, which is not to go with your stream of thoughts. And Papaji said 'Keep quiet,' which also meant the absence of egoic beliefs, not the words coming out of your mouth.

So all the masters are telling us the same thing. Do you feel like they're that silly to keep repeating this pointing, but you can't do it? So the masters spend their whole life sharing this with you, but actually they know you, you see. There's one difference between how you are hearing it and how it is being said. You are taking yourself to be a body-mind. The masters are saying we are one consciousness. Consciousness speaking with consciousness. Everything is in the will of consciousness. Belief and attention report to consciousness. So it is completely up to you as consciousness to let go of the limited notions which its own, by its own design of the mind, the mind is producing constantly. Nothing can force consciousness to identify. So being independent of these notions is freedom. Being taken, taking itself to be definable or conceptualizable by any notion, is apparent bondage. Not really. So that's the game that is going on here.

Now, what can be left? Recognition. Simple. Are you aware now? Some of you may be new, so you can ask me, because many of these kids have trouble for many years with this question, and now they are nodding vigorously when I ask whether it is apparent. But it wasn't always like that. So either they started to become nicer to me, or they really... something shifted for sure, or they've, like, reduced honesty levels. The trick in this question is that your mind will not admit to its success or potency. It may also, but really not full-heartedly, because it is not witness to it. Like, it can stay clean over measurable things. Maya is that which is measurable. So Maya, it may say, 'Yes, yes, what is the color of the shawl in his hand? Red.' Well, then we may have a judgment: 'Why? It is good. Cream is better. Last year he had a green.' So all that can come from the mind, but based on something which is measurable, which is perceivable.

But because your discovery of yourself as awareness is not perceivable and yet completely confirmable, that's why the mind says either 'No, nothing happened' or 'It cannot be that simple.' And it can play with it as doubt with you for many, many years like that. 'You have not discovered yourselves, you are not finding yourself. What are you even doing here, really?' And everybody says yes, so I have to say yes. But what have you discovered? Tell me. Because it is a habit in the human condition to take seeing to be believing. But yours, the seeing, the recognition of awareness, is not dependent on sight. It is that which is awareness. So assume in the movement of this expression also, and especially in the sharing of satsang over the last ten years, initially there was a lot more explanation happening about the mechanics of attention and beliefs and trying to make an intellectual sort of offering so that you could understand.

Now, don't play in the wrong playground. Don't use the wrong instruments. You will not get it with that. It is impossible to not get with the right instrument, and it is impossible to get with the wrong instrument. If you want to discover some giant form of God as a huge, humongous perception, okay, it's like saying, get a weighing scale and say, 'I want to measure the amount of light that there is in this room.' You do it the same way: get a weighing scale and say, 'How large is this room?' So trying to use the mind and perception to find that Self that you are is to use the wrong instrument. So don't rely on those for a moment and tell me if it is not apparent to you, the truth. Don't use your mind. Don't rely on your senses. And even for the confirmation, don't rely on your mind.

I'm the only one... but you see what we do is we say, 'Okay, I'm going to let go. Let the thoughts say what they want, let my perceptions be whatever. Now, what is happening to me?' Who is going to confirm that? Who will we rely on to confirm that? Not the same ones. No, not the same instruments which we should let go of. We do that often. We, like, let go, then 'Ah, what am I perceiving now?' Because like... or they let go and then, 'Okay, is it clear to me who am I?' It's not like that. So neither to recognize nor to confirm can you use the wrong instruments. Some of these are subtle things, although I'm making fun out of them, but we do this often to ourselves and trouble ourselves. If I say, 'Okay, check,' and you say, 'Okay, I'm checking. No mind, no perception, independent of all perception.' Then you say, 'Okay, what's happening to me?' Then we go back to Mr. Mind and say, 'Okay, what do you think? What's happening?' Not to do that only can see this.

These are the subtle traps of spiritual seeking. How will you confirm whether you are discovering or not? It cannot be to go back to the wrong guy, the snake oil salesman who you didn't want to buy from. You don't go to the same snake serum and say, 'Am I doing a good job avoiding you, buying from you?' Not you, obviously you don't do that, but we end up doing that. That's why it can seem so tricky, the spiritual journey. So neither for the recognition nor for the confirmation do you use the wrong instruments. And if you are not using the wrong instruments, you are always 100% coming to the right discovery. It is impossible to miss. And if you're not waiting for confirmation from the bad instruments—bad in the sense bad for this, you know—now feel, without using the mind. Feel like this: feel at discovering God or truth or yourself without using the mind. How will you do it? You can't succeed with the mind, that's for sure.

At least all of you come here, or at least I'd say most of you that have come here should have already recognized this by now, that using the mind it is not possible to succeed in this search. Okay, now fail without using the mind. Lose yourself, or don't be clear about who you are, without using the mind. Succeeding at failing... can't fail, can you? Because the truth is so, so simple. But it is subtler than your mind can fathom. It is not too subtle for you. Okay, succeed without using your mind. It doesn't even feel like success or some achievement or something. It's so natural. If it is the self-discovery, self-knowledge, the truths that you want, then it is just as simple as that. This is actually all the instruction you ever need. But if you want spirituality to help you, you want God, the darshan of God, so that then God can become your genie—forget about it. 'I want to find God so I can be happy. I want to find God so that I can experience bliss. I want to find God so that I can experience God.' So do you want to make God a...

If it is the self-discovery, self-knowledge, the truths that you want, then it is just as simple as that. This is actually all the instruction you ever need. But if you want spirituality to help you—you want God, the darshan of God, so that then God can become your genie—forget about it. 'I want to find God so I can be happy. I want to find God so that I can experience bliss. I want to find God so that I can experience God.' So, do you want to make God a servant to you? Because the discovery of God should help you? Never gonna happen. So, I'm not saying any of this to make anyone feel guilty. I'm just saying that even though these may sound like the endeavor that we embarked upon when we started this search, it is time to let go of all of this rubbish now.

You know what happens when we say, 'I want to find God so that I can always be happy'? You want to make God a servant to you, and you want to become God. A God doesn't know what he's doing; only when I find God, then God will know how to make me happy. Some strange idea like that. Who is this about? Who is this really about? Still, after all these years of spiritual seeking, is it really about God? It is still about you. The instant it becomes truly about God, the seeking stops. When you stop putting conditions on God, the seeking stops. You stop thinking that God needs my mind's advice as to what to do to make me happy. So, this is just—I'm highlighting them—but they're actually subtle ignorance. This subtle ignorance feels like a humble search. It means looking for... because God is actually so egotistical that before we find him, he will not make us happy? You want us to bow down?

Paradox. Exactly what I'm saying. Like, I'm not happy, hence I'm seeking God. Yeah, that process... I'm starting this process of finding God.

So you started the... that's why you may embark on the endeavor with those kind of things. But if grace has brought you to satsang like this, then it is time to even drop that individual. This is it. Not so that you feel guilty about why you started, but you have come to a point now of your so-called journey that it's time to stop seeking God so that something can happen for you. What makes you so special, the non-existent one? How happy should that cat be? The cat was unhappy and that's why it came to satsang, you see. So, almost you know the blue cat story, so I'm not going to repeat that. But the point is that you may have come believing yourself to be a cat who wants happiness, but you come to something like this and the mirror is shown and you see that there is no cat, you see? And after that, then to say, 'But I only wanted to see the mirror so that the cat could be happy. Please make the cat happy.' There's no cat.

All of you will start to see the absurdity of the spiritual claim more, and you'll find your own conditions about life and God and the Self absurd more and more. So, one says, reading it correctly, it is definitely about me who identifies with the mind that wants to constrain God in the limitedness that it is now. It is God itself playing that way. God itself playing that way. There are no two beings—one master being God, one smaller being you. It's not like Advaita satsang now. It is playing. It has full potential and ability and power to play just as it wants now. Apparently, it is saying, 'I am tired of the suffering which happens in this play. I'm tired of this play for whatever reason. I'm starting to see through it,' or there's too much suffering, whatever. So, God has full potential to also discover that. But it can squeeze out the ending of the movie as long as it likes also. It's fully up to it. Anytime you feel like a movie is ending now, but it has another, you know, two hours left, you can't say—especially in Indian movies. So, there's no way to define that.

So you as consciousness can play with this as long as you want to. But what I am reminding yourself—consciousness demanding consciousness—is that nobody, no power in the universe, is strong enough to force you. A measly thought that comes, you see, it may offer the best relationship, the most money, the best healthy body, and instant enlightenment forever in one go. Okay, it still cannot force it to be, force you to believe. These are the four main buttons it can push, no? So it can give you all of those offerings and yet it may cross your mind and it cannot force you as consciousness to believe. So don't burden your spiritual search and the instant discovery actually with any desire, even though the desire may sound universal. 'I just want happiness,' you know? 'I just want...' What do you have to take yourself to be to want happiness? 'I just want to discover that I am all there is. I am Brahman itself.' It arises so that this little body-mind can be happy? What are we talking about? It is highlighting the absurdity of our spiritual mind. 'I went into meditation, I found that there is nobody here. Nobody here. Now what should I do? How come it's not as fun?' See the joke in it.

What should I do with all of you? Please reveal. Whose presence is in your heart? Are they the 'I' which can never be contained by just something which is fiction, which is what we've usually taken ourselves to be? This miscarriage is the expansion of what you said. What can appear here that can shake you? Something shaking itself. Many times wobbliness is experienced in the spiritual process. 'I have no feet to stand on. What's going to happen? I'm going to die.' But besides the perceptions which are shaking themselves, what else are they shaking? How are you being shaken in the shakiness of the perception? How are you being shaken? This space, this is unshakable, isn't it? It is just an appearance within the space that you are, which is not spatial like this. It's just an appearance within yourself, and you are subtler than this space also. So how can something like this shake you? They can't even shake this space. It's only if you take yourself to be another set of perceptions, then you can also shake.

That's right. Correct, correct.

So when we say that 'I am this form,' you see, then if I take myself to be this form—and as consciousness I have full power to take myself to be whatever—then something can come in life which will shake the form. If I feel like I am the form, then because that is identification... see, you can never identify with the truth. You can only identify with the false. You can only drop the identification with the false and then you come to the truth. But you don't need to identify with the truth. In fact, you can't do it. It's not perceivable and thoughts don't apply there. So it is not a question of switching identification; it is only a question of dropping identification. As Bhagavan clearly said, to come to the discovery of the truth, only ignorance has to be dropped. The Self doesn't have to be attained. It is not something that you will attain or be convinced about. It is only that your misidentification will be kept aside or dropped away.

Now you have the ability to identify with anything, anything that you perceive. There's nothing... so, I mean, it's very compelling because of the centrality of the visual perspective and the sensational seeming stimuli that seem to arise from the body to take this object as the center of my identity. But actually, you can take any perception or even unperceivable things. This conceptual thing—you may get the idea, a compelling idea one day, that you're from some planet Galacticus or something, and you know, you spend fifty lifetimes over there and you may start getting some visions of having robots or parents or I don't know what. And if so, I guess good enough to you, you may say, 'Yes, that is my truth.' The consciousness both cannot be forced to identify and cannot be forced to not identify. Like you may come to satsang a hundred times, I may say 'don't identify,' but if you want to identify as consciousness... actually, it's not even a play, but because our mind cannot conceptualize God, you see, we have to say 'want' or 'play.' It's playing like that. It can choose to play. Actually, choice, play, want, aversion—none of this applies to God. But because we have to communicate in this human sort of way, that's why we superimpose. We make God in our image and then apply things like want and desire and aversion and play to God, which is much beyond.

God, which is the mother, this world within that reason itself, you see. But because, you know, it is said that God made man in its image, actually man is making God in its image. So we are applying these human sort of concepts ongoing. So therefore we have to say it wanted to do that, or it wants to do this, or it is playing like this, you see. But these things don't apply. But because our human intellect can only sort of deal with these concepts right now, so we use them. So like the 'why'—why is God doing this? Why is it troubling itself in this way? Somebody's here, it's explained to... but this is all applying human ideas of want and play, things like that, to God. We're just too egotistical to admit that we are too stupid to understand God, to understand why should we do and what makes us so special.

I'm reading some of your comments now. If any of you want to say hello, you don't have to pretend that we've not had this conversation so far and go back into some make-believe question. We have not spoken for a long time. So what was my question before I heard, 'Ah, hello'?

There was a thought that, 'Am I forcing this?' Ray's hand is this... you know, you look so weird. Did I do it? Yeah, and then I put some back on. Ah, it doesn't matter. I feel relieved that I feel relieved. It feels like proving myself to be right or playing that game of right and... it doesn't matter.

Yes, yes, very good. Yeah, there's such peace just already, you know, before even beginning the game of picking up an idea of yourself to defend against some other idea and all of that. And it's... there's no need. There's no need. And the mind came and had a fear of what might happen if you don't play the game.

What are the options of what might happen? Relationships end, and or another option is that something would transform in the... like something would kind of open up to a deeper level of a recognition of awareness and what appears in the light of being.

What intelligence controls that which appears in the light of being? What is the intelligence that controls that appearance?

It's God. It's the same as everything. It's like, it's what's already here before any game is played. It's the source of everything.

What could go wrong? So what happens is the intelligence of God is projecting this movie. Now, within the movie, it is playing with this make-believe intelligence which the characters seem to have of themselves. 'I think the projector is not doing a good job. I have to be able to determine what is right, what is wrong. Therefore, the next scene, it should only have this doubt and it should not have the other stuff.' The projector is going its own merry way with its own supreme intelligence. It is unconcerned with this apparent mind of these characters, who it is only projecting even all of that, but it is not dancing to any of those tunes at all.

Last night I was talking to someone and the mind was saying, representing the idea that I had some kind of influence over how they were being. Like, my interaction with them would affect how they would act or speak or feel or anything like this. And I just... there was like a moment of, 'What if I don't believe that thought and I don't try to control how they react or respond or feel or anything like that?' And just watch how they play out. Like how...

With... there's a subtle trick in there, which is that once you don't believe the thought, is there a distinction between you and them?

It's like there's levels of thoughts that can be believed in. Like separation can be believed in without the belief that this separate thing somehow affects that separate thing.

What if I don't believe that thought and I don't try to control how they react or respond or feel or anything like that, and just watch how they play out? Like, there's a subtle trick in there, which is that once you don't believe the thought, is there a distinction between you and them? It's like there's levels of thoughts that can be believed in. Separation can be believed in without the belief that this separate thing somehow affects that separate thing. It's like there's all these layers of beliefs that can be, you know... in the absence of belief in thought, what happens to all the layers?

There's no separation. So you may start with the endeavor like that: 'Okay, now I'm not going to believe what she's projecting onto me. I'm going to just play my own game, and I'm not going to believe the thought that I can affect her.' You see? 'Now I'm just going to become empty.' Then what happened? Although the feeling was to start the game in that way, the minute you instantly become empty, what happened to all of that? All God, you see? All God. Then this one, this one, this one—same, same. Or even 'same' or 'different' are not concepts to rely on. You with me?

Yeah. The video paused there for a second, but I think I... yeah. It's like, I may say, 'Okay, let me express myself more clearly to Mahesh,' you see? All of that. And then they feel like, 'Okay, how can I agree?' Then I might remember, 'Okay, all things are perfectly resolved in the unborn.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So whatever the trigger may be, it just always takes care of everything. There's nothing to solve. There's nothing to change. There's no need to change anything or try to control anything. And not so that then my relationship can be better or worse or any of that, because anything—no, because there's no separation. So there's no gain or loss. This can't be made better or worse. Do you know? Yeah. So, what to say? It's alright. So nice. Okay, let's go to Atma Jyoti.

Pranam, Father. The usual, you know, the usual... against them. I joined satsang again. Storms have arisen, like, I don't know, like energetic, emotional, same old. But now by listening, somehow I was like, okay, following you. And I somehow do see from a deeper space than it is happening in. Somehow I see it not here, but here, I see.

So what happens is that we even spoke about this, about the shaking at the level of perception. But how does that shake you? In hearing the words of satsang, you look in a deeper way at what you really are, and you see that to be shaken, you have to have a shape, isn't it? The shapeless cannot be shaken. So apparently, the belief in our ability to be shaken itself is the belief in taking shape.

Yes. But mostly distinct, like if I'm by myself or something, it just arises with concentration or listening to something. It somehow was seen. But it's like the first time it happened in satsang like that because during the sounds, I would never be able to see it. I don't know why. It just felt like me. But today, somehow...

One tip I will give you is that don't make anything a 'better' state or 'worse' state. Everything is just what it is.

But what I wanted to maybe... again, just like, I know that this idea that is so ingrained that it's just like, you know, that okay, I'm experiencing a state of—I wouldn't call it suffering, but of intense storms. We all know this by now, right? Okay, this is being experienced. Something here is kind of like, 'Okay, wait, wait, maybe it will be like this forever. I can't do anything about it. I can't stop it.' You can hear, maybe we can hear, maybe let's wait.

Now, suppose that initial construct which the mind may propose—that that is how it is—suppose we don't take it to be true.

That's the problem. From the experience so far, I know it to be true. And this is where my confusion comes, because Mooji always speaks about this as well: 'Mind will come, this will happen.' And it's being experienced like that. There is something... storm comes, comes very calm, but whenever storm comes... or this lately became like—maybe it doesn't matter—but it's been seen from somehow deeper. And what has been happening right now—I'm sorry, I have to finish this—it's something like something almost became an attack in itself, that it's going to come, you need to prepare. That I need to do something. And I see that this is an attack even right now during the satsang again. It feels, 'Okay, you see it feels this way, it will get worse,' you know? And I believe it because I experienced that whenever an attack comes, oh, it was bad. Oh, wait a minute, they can be bad. And it's been proven and proven time and time again. So that's my experience, kind of inductive reasoning.

So okay, let's break it down really slowly. So when we say experience, you see, we are talking about a bundle of perceptions, isn't it? We experience something. Now, what can be in the bundle of perceptions which by themselves can make us suffer? Nothing. Just my belief. It's not in the majority of the perception, but the one perception which is the labeler or the subtitler or the narrative which says, 'Okay, now this should not be happening to you,' or 'I thought I would be over this by now,' or 'Why does this keep happening to me?' and 'I've seen this happening to me over and over again.' You see? Which proposes this sort of inductive reasoning that the sun always comes out from the east, so tomorrow also it will come out from the east only. You see? So this kind of then it puts us in this kind of merry-go-round. But without the narrative, what is that?

No, I will say nothing, and it would feel true. But again, at the same time, it wouldn't feel true because this is so stubborn, something.

No, I hear what you say, but like, no, it's not my experience. What aspect of your being is that?

None.

What is it? Mind, intellect, or what? What do you want to call it? You can choose your own term for it. Pattern of thinking, maybe? Thinking, conditioning, whatever you want to call it. So our attempt is to admit over there, 'No, what Ananta is saying is true.' But I don't care what happens over there, because even if you say it is true over there, the next moment it will be something else. So I don't care about that so much. Now, what is happening in the rest of you?

No, nothing. But it is... I know somehow it is being seen, but the thing is not enough.

So when I ask what is happening in the rest of you, what many of you do is you recognize, 'Okay, this is mind/intellect which is judging and saying yes, I know, no, I don't like this, or I like this.' Either way, whatever it is. Then there's the rest of your being. Now, when I say what is happening in the rest of you, what you're trying to do is you're trying to take that experience through the lens of the intellect and then be able to make a judgment about that. So then you can say either 'nothing' or 'something,' which can come only through the same lens of the intellect. It's actually very simple what I'm saying. So I'm saying that there's an aspect of your being which has the capacity to judge and say yes, yes, no, no, true, true, false, false, all of that. So let's call it the mind/intellect. But that is not the entirety of you, although we live as if it is mostly. But it is not the entire you. So when I say what about the rest of you, the rest of your existence, what does it have? So what we do is we try to get a glimpse and then we go back to that and say, 'Haha, there's nothing.' But I don't want you to go back. It's not just to get a glimpse; it is for you to live. So if you don't return from that question, then that is good. You see what I'm saying? Otherwise, we keep coming back to the supremacy of the intellect because we just use it: 'Okay, now I have looked out the window, this is what I see. I see that there are three sparrows, but sparrows are very good.' So it can make judgments. We have not really left our perch; we're just trying to be the viewer and then hold on to our judgment about something. But when I ask you what's happening in the rest of you, leave that aspect behind and see if something forces you to come back to it. Leave the aspect of the mind/intellect and just go on an adventure. God is here. Don't you believe me? Just adventure with me, explore with me. Leave your mind. What else is there? You don't have to use my term. I may say God, you may say something else, you may not say anything at all. But don't go back for judgment to the same guy. And if something forces you, then expose that. Now, there is no time here. There is no time. So all the inductive reasoning can be dropped.

I hear your words, I understand them, but like, I can't drop it.

Okay, which aspect of your being is that conclusion being found in? Is the entirety of your being saying, 'I can't help it'? Is it like that? No, it can't be like that. Look, look, just look. Looking is enough. You don't have to make, don't have to do anything, including dropping. Just look. How big compared to your being is the time frame? Who's saying, 'I can't drop'?

How big is that? Now it feels like it's taking all my space. Like, it does feel like that. It's taken... the room is full of it, my body is full of it, my mind is full of the judgment guy of this, like, 'I can't drop it, I can't see through this.'

Like your fingers also saying, 'I can't drop it'? The room was also saying, 'I can't drop it'?

It's more like it feels like it's closing in. Like the world becomes so small. Like sometimes I experience like this, getting left outside by closing in.

You are not there. I never looked at it. Thank you. Where are you not? When you find somewhere where you are not, is every part of you protesting, 'I can't drop it'?

No. It's like it never feels in the body like contraction, like something like... yeah, either outside or inside.

Who's being contracted? Suppose you didn't ever have to fix anything in that aspect either—its agreement or its disagreement, its yes, its no, its true, its false, all of that. Suppose you did not have to bother with it at all. You think I heard what you said right now? No, actually... where do you have to see to confirm that? Like, how do you know whether you heard it or not? So Guruji says, 'No, I am trying to do a mind bypass.' So if your mind didn't hear it, how do you know whether you heard it or not? Let's go there. What is there which is the product of the bypass? We know what the mind looks like; it will keep jumping, saying this. We are well aware of its complexity and complexion. What else is there to you? If I bypass the mind, what is left? And would you be able to look at that and confirm, 'Yes, I heard it over there,' or 'No, I didn't hear it'?

Then can you look at that and see? I don't know, somehow I see it and I don't see it both.

And then those both are being seen, right? What spectacles are you using? Like, are you using the lens of the same mind/intellect to say, 'Do I see it?'

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm looking at it.

Yeah, it's with what? With sight?

No, outside.

Very good, very good. Once you look without sight, you're with your intuition. So beautiful. Looking without sight. Look without needing to find an object. What is that looking at? Actually, the mind is not extruded from that thing, but it feels like... okay, but suppose you have five children. Suppose you have five children, yeah? But you've looked at only one child, which is the mind, your whole life. So I am the parenting counselor saying, 'But let's see what the other four are called. At least tell me their names.' You know? But the first one will protest. Exactly. And if you look at those four only from the eyes of the first one: 'And beta, what do you feel about the other four?' And that's not the question. Always he wants to come along. So now I'm saying, 'Okay, mama, one child enough.'

Suppose you have five children, yeah, but you've looked at only one child, which is the mind, your whole life. So I am the parenting counselor saying, but let's see what the other four are called. At least tell me their names, you know? But the first one will protest exactly. And if you look at those four only from the eyes of the first one, and say, 'Beta, what do you feel about the other four?'—that's not the question. Always he wants to come along. So now I'm saying, okay, mama, one child is enough. Open water. Tell me the names of the other four. And four, I'm just taking a number like the koshas; we could actually, that's not the point. Okay, is the mind-intellect your only source of intelligence? Let me put it another way: Is your mind-intellect your only source of intelligence? From which intelligence do you know that you are aware that you exist? Is that intelligence only, only is it restricted to only that? Is it not the guiding light, or possibly a guiding light to your entire life? Even though what may happen is you go to that intelligence and you see there's nothing to be guided. But suppose there was. Is that intelligence restricted, saying, 'No, no, I am aware, I am being, I can't help you with anything else for the rest of your mind'? Is it like that? Is it saying that?

Let's look. How are the words of satsang different from the words of our mind? And these are the words of your heart joined, and we are intuitive. If your mind was the only source of intelligence, there would be no room for satsang. You're not coming here to hear another mind. It's not to the mind, for sure, for sure. So when you don't go to the mind, what is that? You don't have to actually go to intuition. You don't have to go to the presence, whatever word you want to call it. You don't have to. All you have to do is stop relying so much on the mind for a moment. Then are you lost? Are you found? Any opposites apply. You know how it feels right now. It feels like the mind is very lost, very everything, and it says, 'It's me that I am lost, I am this, I am experiencing that.' But there is like a tiny bit of space. It seems like it's from me that just like, okay, now let's see. Let's really look together.

Now the mind may be telling you that it has so much shape, but now a little bit of space in the rest is coming. But you actually look at them. How big is the thought? Mind is nothing but a bundle of thoughts. How big is the thought right now? Huge? Right now, is it? You can't see the hand, you can only see the thought? You can't see this beard, you only see the thought?

Well, I need to concentrate on your nose.

Just look then. Okay, concentrate on whatever you're seeing. Just be with your perceptions and tell me where the thought is.

There is a thought here also, here also. Now nowhere. Now actually just try to, try to imagine the biggest thought you can. Can it take over the witnessing also? Is there a little bit of space left? No, awareness is left untouched. And awareness is beyond all this space. Billions of spaces like this will come and go, but awareness will not be touched. With the mind version, a little bit of space is left, but who's looking at that? That is beyond space. You can't imagine your magnificence. Suppose every perception or just one big thought is all I'm perceiving; my attention is fully fixated. But you can never take over that side of attention. Who lives there? Who is that? Who is that one? How big is it?

This is very funny because when you see this on other people, you know, it is laughable, like how you can't see it. Now I'm just like myself, like I see it but I don't see it again. Like, yeah, yeah, I see that this ripple is such a small thing, but for me it's somehow just huge. Okay, but you know what I mean? Like I can't really... I'm trying, Father, I really try.

I'm not saying you're not at all. Apply one of my rules. Apply one of my rules: Don't explain, just describe it. Okay? Don't explain, so you don't interpret what is happening. So if a big thought is coming and it is saying, 'Hot thought,' just describe it. Don't explain. Don't create your own narrative on top of what is being experienced as okay experience.

Okay. What is experienced right now is like huge tension.

Yes.

In the body, in some field. Not just in the body, but somehow in my perception of field, yeah, tension.

Like now, what makes it huge? How big is it? Like, is it this big, this big? And what is the space in which this hugeness is coming?

It feels like it, it feels like that's important, as it's taking all the space, but it's not.

'Feels like it' is an explanation. You just keep describing it. Just keep describing. So this contraction is felt in the chest area or whatever. Describe it.

Like, I don't know where even, like in some kind of field. It's just like...

Okay, yes, yes. Okay. And now try to get that contraction to attack that which witnesses it also. So you are aware, or you are perceiving the field in which the contraction is there, and it's huge. Now let it become huger. Let it come to that 'you' which is witnessing also. Tell me how much progress it makes.

Not possible.

Try, no, really hard. Let's try. Come on, let's make it possible today. First satsang after a long time. Not possible? Not possible. Okay. So now don't worry about the field in which contraction is there. Worry about that where it's not possible. How big is that?

I can't see the size because it's beyond the size, which just is.

That's beyond size. Does it, because it's beyond size, does it make it really tiny compared to the huge? I mean, let's say, what is it in comparison to that one, the hugeness? Let's make it in comparison to that one which is beyond space. Then what can we say about them?

I don't know. Just something doesn't fit. Like, how can I fit something huge into something that does not exist and it's just... does it? Oh!

Ah, very good. So now, let's use terminology which we use often, which is: in front of attention, all of this hugeness is there. Now, that which attention is reporting back to, that you say is not possible to be affected. But you are that, no? So how does the hugeness or the smallness of that which is on that side of attention affect you?

I don't know. I don't know how. Look, look, don't try to figure it out. Just look. With outside right now, I could say it does not affect, but it wouldn't be completely true to me.

I don't care about whether... because that aspect was where you're talking about. I don't care about that aspect. So I only care about what you're discovering right now. Your mind is pulling you back in time over and over again, saying, 'But after this I'll be back,' you know? I don't care about that stuff. Tell me how that which is witnessing the huge or small contraction, how that can ever be affected by...

I feel that the body is being affected somehow, and that's why somehow that I'm being affected through the body.

But wait a minute. I can see that, but in the body of... oh God, yeah. Tell me what is happening in the body. How does it affect the witnessing? But I'm looking forward to... take your time. Take as much time as you want. This is for everyone. This is, in fact, freedom. To keep imagining that 'I am affected by the perceptions which seem to squeeze me' is bondage. To look really and see, 'Hey, but where am I in all of this?' What seems like the primary home? Which end of attention seems like the primary one? The end where it is reporting back to? What's happening over there? You asking me? Okay, let's do one thing. Okay, where all this battle is happening, send yourself fully over there.

I cannot.

That's quite a shame for the mind if you can't, because it wants you fully involved in this. To send everything that you have, every part of you, send it into the battle.

It's impossible. Impossible. It's beyond my home. Like, what will this contraction take from you? What does the mind take from you? You can't even touch your reality. Some things are dancing in the light of your being. So what?

No, that was like the thought, like, 'Oh, this thing is so fragile.' Like, it's the thought which is fragile, which is already gone. This thing is still here.

Yeah, it is. Don't become back into giving what your intellect is saying a lot of importance. You see, it will start by being a comedian circuit. When it loses importance, you know what it does? It'll try to subtly say, 'Hey, hi, I'm actually a nice guy. I make you laugh,' you know? Then slowly, slowly interesting. Give your nose as much importance as you give in the mind for tomorrow. It deserves it. Poor nose has been there all your life. You've not looked at it. You've not felt the sensation strongly for years, I promise you. So it deserves some focus. What is this stepmotherly behavior towards your nose? What is your nose saying?

Keep your attention at the tip of your nose and... yeah, I promise you your nose is bigger than your thought. And it's not something about your nose. Look, it's just so simple. Don't be fearful of the future.

That was very interesting, Father. Very, very. Thank you. Suffering is just some misplacing of importance into one aspect of all our importance. All our values seem to come from just that one aspect about any bundle of problems. Get you nothing is the mind report about itself. 'I am everywhere, you can't escape, I am everywhere.' It does feel like that sometimes, Father, because it's like there's like it comes up with something, then you find new ways to neutralize it, let's say. So then it finds another way, and this old way of neutralizing is no longer working. So then you're finding another way to neutralize. And this is like... and I understand maybe this is like the help to actually to get stronger in yourself. It is an exercise in some way, you know? But it's just like, whoa, come on, you... maybe it's enough. Like, I don't know, I have such a feeling like maybe I'm fed up with it.

Yeah, yes. But the merry-go-round seems a lot more dizzy if you take yourself to be the wrong one. What you said is absolutely right. But if you're taking yourself to be, okay, Atma duty has to keep going through this and over and over, then sometimes I use 'Who am I?' to get over it, sometimes 'Am I aware now?' to get over it. But if it keeps coming back into something which is identified as a body-mind, then the merry-go-round seems a lot more dizzy, a lot more spinning. Who is satsang for? Who is it meant to help? All the pointers and what you're saying is absolutely right. That I may say one day, 'What do you know when you know nothing?' and in my mind at least it's a very important point. So this is where everybody is like that. Then after a few days, 'Ah, yeah, yeah, Father will say what do you know and you know nothing, but you know, but my mind is so strong.' Then the master, I have to come up with something else. So it does happen like that. But if you feel like we're using pointers as a body-mind to make the life of the body-mind easier, then that is what makes the merry-go-round seem more and more and more.

Yes, for sure. But there are as well moments when I guess that's where we all going to. It's like no matter what is perceived, it's like... because sometimes there are those attacks and mind says, 'Oh my God,' and let's say, and the life situations are not as pleasant or something, but there is such a stillness and such an emptiness that just something doesn't register as bad or good or as attack or something. And there are moments like that. And there are those moments like this where it's like, I just can't see it, I can't see it. And I'm like, even I wrote it down the other day, just this: 'I'm always suffering' or 'This is coming back' or 'This is like always happening to me.' It's just a thought I actually believed in. And then from this thought something sprouts, sprouts to me who's having it. And it's just like, whoa. And now I just want to tell you one thing, I'm enjoying the report. But having said that, what I... which aspect of your being are you valuing now? Let's say again, which aspect of your being are you valuing now? Is it your nose?

Yes, I love this. Don't talk about my nose. I can speak about Jesus, write books about it apparently. Oh God, thank you.

It's just a thought I actually believed in, and then from this thought, something sprouts. It sprouts to me, who's having it, and it's just like, whoa. And now I just want to tell you one thing: I'm enjoying the report, but having said that, which aspect of your being are you valuing now? Let's say again, which aspect of your being are you valuing now? Is it your nose? Yes, I love this. Don't talk about my nose. I can speak about Jesus, write books about it, apparently. Oh God, thank you.

Where do we go for value? Where do we go for meaning? Where do we go for meaning is the question; it's the main question. We have one voice which is constantly trying to propose meaning to us, constantly, you know? There's another voice which is not proposing in this way. So when you leave the first voice, then that voice seems easier to hear because the second voice is very patient. Play as you want, play as long as you like, but I'm here for you if you decide to stop playing and troubling yourself. So the instant you drop the reliance on the first one, it is fully apparent to you.

Now what? This is an important tip for all of you, which is that what insight you will get, many times it is not decipherable to your head. So don't try to squeeze it into your head. Learn to accept the indecipherable in your life. See, a simpler way of saying that is: accept the mystery. Don't try to decode everything conceptually. When you go to your heart, you may not always have answers which you can spell out, but you'll always find truth. This is the difference between truth and answers. In fact, don't ever try to squeeze it into your head; it will only become adulterated, contaminated. If the flow of satsang was happening this way—heart to head to mouth—you see, it would be very contaminated. It's just hard to bear. Tomorrow, through the nose, nose to ear... we feel like without the head, our heart cannot use our mouths, we cannot use our body. But it can. It is the seat of the supreme intelligence which runs this entire universe.

But to speak, I have to use the mind, Father. Why? The intelligence is not strong enough without your mind to use your mouth?

It should just be heart to mouth to ear to heart. If it goes from heart to mouth to ear to head, then...

So where does this, let's say, spiritual journey fit in then? Nowhere? Because where do we do it? Throw it away? But I heard so much about it, I experienced so much about it, I witnessed so much about it. So just throw it away? I heard teachers speak about it, about some things happening, and now... yeah, like I wanted to fit it somewhere. I don't know, like put it somewhere. I can't just throw it, you know? It's just like...

Sometimes the children have a security blanket, and then at some point a parent has to say, 'Okay, now you give it to me. You're fifty-five years old.' Yeah, somehow I see it as an idea that, oh my God, my brain was fried right now. But it is like that. What I have, I cannot make a single statement like that. All the statements I make like that, I have to say provisionally. We can say, well, it's all nonsense, you see? All of that. Have people been able to say something is like that?

But it is so funny, Father, because now I'm thinking like, whatever I see something in the world sometimes, like, oh yeah, it's just not real. But somehow, I don't know what I'm trying to say is, I don't know.

But whose set of concepts, as great as they may be, can replicate even a phenomenal reality? So the ability to say 'it is like this,' we just don't have.

And even this is so... wait, wait. Everything that I have experienced till this moment, can I just tell you, memory, throw it away? Oh my God, okay. We could not take... we can have of the past, which you will only experience in the future. Forget about it, it's all nonsense.

But then... I'm sorry, I'm looking very upset, but then, ever experience the past in the past? Only right now. So some image comes out, you know it is from the past maybe, but then if you're asking me to do that, it's basically asking me to deny everything I know about the world, about myself.

I'm saying just become neutral about everything. I'm speaking about the opposite of denial: just fully open. You see, to make a version and to say 'that is how it is' is the denial. Okay, you have to hear me slowly on this one. To have the version of it is an acceptance of it? To have the version of it is the denial of it. If it is, you see, if it is... suppose this is, then why do I need to have a version? These are spectacles that I had for the last three years and this is what happened to them. I don't need it. No, that is my denial of looking at them, because then I'm looking at my mind. So if this is, if it has any tangibility, then it just is. So my idea about it is my denial of it. My lack of acceptance of it is my idea of it, because I don't want to deal with it. I want to deal with my abstract idea because it's too much for me to handle.

So the world is too much for the mind to handle, so it just says, 'Oh, the world is full of suffering' or 'The world is only like this.' But the world is everything, you see? But because the mind cannot process everything, it makes a version which it finds palatable, and that is the denial of the world, which is the mind. So what you are calling acceptance and denial is the opposite of what it is. If something is, then why do you need to deal with your mental version of it? Why do you have to deal with the storybook version of it? Then you can deal with it directly. So that's what I meant by: don't explain, describe. Meet it as it is. Even phenomenal things, don't work with them at a mental level because that is you working with the denial of it.

If I met somebody from Slovenia, you see, and I said, 'Okay, now I didn't like their interaction,' so I say I'm not meeting them, I'm just meeting my mental version of it. 'Oh, Slovenians must be like this,' you see? So that is denial. That is not acceptance, because I'm dealing with my notion of how things are instead of meeting that one fresh. So meet everything with full openness, with zero denial, as it is, instead of trying to shelter yourself and secure yourself in your ideas of how things are. Because that is the denial of the meeting. Where is the past right now? Why are you scared of it that you have to meet it as notions of what happened?

That's quite interesting because I hear you, I understand you, yeah, and I see what you're saying.

Just clarify for yourself what is acceptance and what is denial. To make a conceptual idea about something is not to accept it; it is actually to deny it, to just limit it. At least that much you can see: that it is too limited, that you take a version of it that seems most likely to you or palatable to you and you say, 'This is how it is.' And then you're only working with a storybook version instead of ever meeting.

Wow. I can only say wow, Father. Wow. My mind is blown away. Like, spiritual avoidance... and because they sound like big fancy words, people just take them on, you see? Either a spiritual... by talking nice words, somebody intelligent must have made it. So what is it actually? Of course there is spiritual avoidance, but you are replacing one concept with another concept. But in satsang like this, I'm not giving you a replacement concept. I am getting you to become completely open and naked and face it. It is the opposite of denying. They may be like, 'Oh, he's saying there's no such thing as this disorder or that disorder.' I'm saying leave all of that terminology that you know about it. Meet it as it is, fresh, here and now. Is that a denial? Is it a bypass? You meet it. The denial is to presume that you know or you meet.

Most people will not come to satsang because they have an idea of what spiritual masters are like. Is that an acceptance or a denial? It's a denial because they cannot give it a chance. They want to live in their mental version of what they think is true. So that is a denial of the possibility that some opening can happen. Your coming to satsang is based on this. All prejudice is based on this. We may say Englishmen are like this, or Englishwomen are like this, or Americans are like this, on what we think we know because of the same inductive reasoning. 'It's happened to me three times in the past. I had an American boyfriend three times, so the fourth time I'm staying away from Americans,' isn't it? Is that acceptance or denial? That's what you have to look at. I'm not saying you keep trying American boyfriends.

He's using metaphors, so now they are like coming up. So what about... why do you have to... okay, let me just finish something else. Okay, so why do you have to rely on conclusions about the past? If the past has any fire, it can come to you now and show you. This is how I was, from the pool of repository that we are relying on anyway, called memory, literature. But then what about the next? Where does this fit in? Next moment? It seems like, you know, the future also then...

So this is what all of this is about. We feel like in the mind version of the story, I need the narrative from the past so that I can make a plan for the future. The minute the narrative from the past is taken away, I feel like, 'What the hell am I supposed to do now? It's gone.' So now how will I deal with the future? I am too naked. I have no plan. I have no ability. Something may come that I am unprepared for. So it's fear both ways.

No, but that's more like a notion that the future is there, that the next is there, yeah. Rather than look at it, which you've never met, isn't it? So we've got into a denial of our timelessness, haven't we? We always meet... no, but always in the now.

Exactly, exactly. We've never met the future. But because that is too much for the mind to handle, because our timeless experience is too much for the mind to handle, it has to put this timelessness into a stream of past, present, and future. And that is the denial of our timelessness, because it is too much right now to handle it. That is why the mind gets into the storybook, and the storybook has to have past, present, future. You see? 'I have been coming to satsang for so many years. These are the things I've learned today. I came to satsang... then therefore tomorrow I'm better prepared when these things happen. What I have to do is see, focus on my nose, something.' No. So we put into linearity that which has never been linear. Meet yourself. Meet yourself fully now and show me the stream of time. Show me the apparent arrow of time.

I don't know, somehow I see it.

Don't squeeze anything into your head. Whatever I'm saying doesn't need to be understood in that way. You can't make orange juice out of this stuff and store it. Then oranges are too big, yeah, and the most like the storage to carry around. It's not... it's heavy, it feels heavy. Let the words do their own job. You have zero role in this. What do you feel like you can understand from what I'm saying?

Nothing. But there's an aspect of this, an aspect of your own being where these words are coming from. So when you let go of the attempt to understand, you will meet yourself there. Yes, maybe what I mean is like more like I can recognize what you say, and I see maybe the mind or the aspect of me trying to fit it somehow newly or something.

So the words are potent enough for the recognition to happen. But we feel like something worthwhile only happens once we are able to construct it for ourselves in our head. And that is the tendency I'm trying to chop away. We feel like progress or learning or understanding is only happening once I am able to take that so-called experience into a conceptual understanding. Without that, you're so free.

So yes, and actually that came to me, like even the conceptual understanding, if you have it, it's always changing, always like the weather always changes. So which one is the right one? My idea about myself is always changing, so which one is the right one? To want peace by relying on the mind is to want peace after...

We feel like progress or learning or understanding is only happening once I am able to take that so-called experience into a conceptual understanding. Without that, you're so free.

So yes, and actually that came to me. Like, even the conceptual understanding, if you have it, it's always changing. Always, like the weather always changes. So which one is the right one? The idea about myself is always changing, so which one is the right one?

To want peace by relying on the mind is to want peace after, or to have a stable life after, tying yourself to a drunken donkey. You cannot do it. Always changing. You want a life of rock and roll, or do you want peace? If you're going to have a conceptual framework which will determine your life stability, forget it. It's like saying, 'I'm going to build my two-bedroom house with cards' or something.

Yes, Father. You have no idea how much I'm tired of it all, like of this conception.

Get fully tired and throw it away. Even, yeah, I can say spiritually, even try to throw away the tiredness itself, the experiences and your conclusions out of them. Throw it all. There is no value there.

And it comes through the way in the future, but then again, it's just...

You see how it works? Like, 'I will throw away in the future.' What's wrong right now? If I'm so tired, then just like, don't look through your head. Might do that. Look through your nose. Is there time without your head? No need that answer; it came from your own mouth. It's magnificent. Don't conclude. Don't understand. That is good. And seen through the nose once. The next one. My life, this was very good. I love this conversation. Let's go to Matazina.

Hello, Father. Thank you for the satsang today. Now, in these last moments of your conversation, I think a question came which is like: I need your help to see what's here to be recognized now. What do you see now? When you say 'don't look through my mind,' I seem to have an idea that I don't look into anything. Let me elaborate a bit so that no further confusion gets created. It's almost as if we perceive and then we rely on what the interpreter is saying about the perception to frame a version of our reality. So without this interpretive thought process, what is your experience right now of being?

Beautiful. Everyone looking for this, especially in spirituality, that can be easily shaken off. But some sort of shake it without your mind. Let's try to shake. Let's meet all of this. Let's really, let's not just fall for the mind's trick. Let's try to make it happen, okay? So your being is here. Shake your being. I've never seen a shaking being. Let me play some disco music. What we need to do to shake? You can't shake the being without the mind. Yeah, and with the mind, okay, okay. Use your mind and shake your mind. We did that for the past two hours. It's done. It's done. What you think for the past two hours, it happened. We've done this for the past two hours, yes. So what are you saying? It doesn't happen or it does happen?

I'm saying I don't even want to go there.

But don't be scared. I'm with you because the mind will play these videos right now. It's okay. But if I come back, check of your being. Let's see what that looks like.

My mind wanted to say, 'What's this fear about?' Like, your mind itself from you. I think it's me identified with the body-mind.

Who? Where is that you identified? I don't see anything like that. All clear. The tests are all clear. An idea is an appearance. An appearance, by definition, is fiction as opposed to reality. So in the idea, it could be anything. You could be shaken, you could be fearful, you could be born, you could die. But all these ideas, what is true about you which is not an idea? And where can we go for such an answer? That, I feel like, is the primary point actually. Because I may be asking what is true and you may be going to the mind, which is the whole point of satsang. Don't go for the wrong instrument for the wrong measure. Where to go for the truth? It's too bright. How can one apply this every single...

It's not for you to apply.

Who do you want to help? This is very important. What is all of this for? Who wants to apply this? This one through that one. That one that wants to apply God so it can be happy. 'Oh, I'm suffering a bit, let me call God.' So who is God in this? If God is meant to come like the servant like this every time we are unhappy and make us happy and then it can go away, so who is God? We have God who we are calling the servant and we are the God. So calling the servant, but we know now that, oh, the way to call the servant is because he's been serving us for a long time. It's a bit spoiled, you know? So you have to call it with humility and say, 'Please come,' you know, like that. But it is there to serve us. What makes us so special that God should come and serve us? Who is that one? Who are we helping? Our God within.

What does that mean?

So you say, 'Oh, my God within is in trouble, so let me call the big God outside.' So big God has to come. 'Shiva, please come, little Shiva is in trouble.' Now, is that the mind comes up with all these experiments? Yeah, and just watch the way, and while he's playing along, he says, 'I got you there.' Yeah, exactly like children. Like children doing these stories. This baby, it happened one day she came to satsang and she just had such a deep insight and she woke out of that insight with one statement. She said, 'There are no battles to fight.' I love them. All of these. What could God be messing up? What could God be messing up? And if God is messing up, then who can help? What could we be getting wrong, whatever that 'we' is? Or what could we be getting right which God is getting wrong? All our issues. We have access to a greater intelligence than God does? So our prayer plan can become... I'm not saying we must not pray, but if we have to pray, then let's pray for openness. Let's pray for acceptance rather than praying for outcomes.

Father, can you talk a bit about the importance of being in the physical presence of the master?

Whatever makes you open and empty is auspicious. So if you find that in the physical presence of the master you are more open-minded, physical presence. If you find that Zoom satsang makes you open and empty, Zoom. If you close your eyes and experience the master in your heart that makes you open and empty, then whatever. Thank you. The intelligence which needs to know all of this to run your life already knows. What will you do with this information? Nothing. There's nothing we can do. Nothing moves, not a blade of grass, they say, without the will of consciousness. So suppose I tell you it's super important to be in the physical presence, no? And then, but life is not moving that way. The intelligence is not running. Or if I say, 'No, no, it's not important at all,' then all of them sitting here... so have I moved cities and companies? So there's no answer like that. There's no answer like that. So that is again, we give too much importance to our ability to understand. So whichever way life is running, whichever way God is the most auspicious for you.

To guide God in the right path about your life. The one before that was acceptance. There was one thing that said, 'What is happening? I want to know,' which is not in your mind. Nothing happens that's not in my mind. Everything happens in my mind. Nothing is coming from where? Nothing comes from God and everything comes from my mind.

Did you spend some time with a Zen monastery? Can you repeat that?

Did you spend some time in the Zen monastery? I think maybe it's the presence of the Thai master that is... I am there is a lie who works hard on doing that. There's a lie.

What does she say? 'I'm working hard on it.' You don't have to work hard. It's gone now. Into the party, it's gone. It's not true that you have to work hard to be rid of the mind. It's gone now. It has to call you back. 'Hey, I've got something nice for you. What about surrender here? Come, come, come.' Forget about it. You were here when you were doing that. Fresh, fresh. I love that satsang. Good, no? You played it also. Yes, yes. Thank you for that. So then, how are you caught up in the mind? The mind is... you have to go and invite. You have to look back and they can't. Okay, come on.

There is still a desire to control things in my life and in some other like I don't care.

You don't care? Ah, there's so much fun without it. You don't have to say it twice. It's okay. I'm coming. Come on, big brother. Don't worry about it. Don't go to your head.

It's funny that my mind also wanted to draw the conclusion that, 'Oh, so I can do anything and it's right.' That's what it got from all.

Remember that is not important, what you understood from this conversation. Thank you for the different type of classroom. Very well, thank you. And yes, please keep watching, devoting, watching, watching the video. All my love. Okay, now let's go quickly, quickly, quickly, because now if you all heard the instruction, they all apply to all of you once more.

Hello, Father. I wanted to say hello. So nice to see you again. I don't know what...

Okay, now don't go to your head. No, no, no, no, no. Allow the mouth to be moved by your heart. Yeah, I want to hear some satsang words from you, not your head.

Yeah, I wanted to say, yeah, apart from what the mind is saying, it's so... if I don't listen to the mind, it's so easy, you know, to...

Is it easy?

It is easy. There is nothing to do. Is there, or is that a glimpse into what is there and I'm going back in conclusion from the mind? Sorry, I know I'm just pressing on this point again.

Yeah, please. So what can happen is that we see the pure effortlessness of it, no? And that we reflect as a conclusion in our mind. But actually, this is neither difficult nor easy. Nothing. It's like not entire space, none of this. So, of course, we use these words to communicate. Of course, we use these words to speak. But reality is just...

Yeah, what I wanted to say is that it is easy in the sense that the only problem is when I believe in the mind. Apart from that, there is nothing to... nothing. What I want to know from my head is when you're coming to Bangalore, Father? You have to talk with the Italian government.

Government, yes. Here, I would love. Well, I didn't check today, but it seems that it's not yet possible, yes, for Italians, or maybe it's only for me, I don't know. Just ask specifically what...

Yeah, I need to check better. It's fun. Well, but not all... because, well, I will check, I will check again. We heard that in some country in Europe they've declared that there's no pandemic.

Yeah, it's true. Europe is opening up very fast. Yeah, in Italy it is not yet the case, but I think it will be because things are changing. And so let's see. Okay, thank you, Father. And yeah, I...

You froze up, my dear. We didn't hear anything after 'I'. Oh, just for us here. Oh, it's my connection. Am I froze? Yes, yes. What's happened is that we are doing some renovation on the satsang side and we don't know where our internet box is. So we just using the hotspot from my phone and my phone is like, 'Okay, just die any moment.' You don't know where the cable is. You don't need to know anything, Father. It worked well so far.

That's what my father told me when I sat on the hot seat. He said, 'Don't know. Your knowing will just mess it up anyways.' That's all I've been saying. Let's go, Lokesh.

Hi, Father. You said to say hi, so I'm saying hi. Yeah, I just want to say... what was that? Did you do that podcast thing that was doing? Is it happened?

Yeah, yeah, she posted it today.

How did she? Okay, yeah, it was really great. It was a... there's kind of the belief that speaking about it would diminish something or an understanding, and so there is kind of fear behind it. But she kind of created the space where she allowed me to talk about it in such...

Anyways, that's all I've been saying. Let's go. Location.

Hi, Father. You said to say hi, so I'm saying hi. Yeah, I just want to say... what was that? Did you do that podcast thing that was doing? Is it happened?

Yeah, yeah. She posted it today.

How did she... okay, yeah. It was really great. It was a... there's kind of the belief that speaking about it would diminish something or an understanding, and so there is kind of fear behind it. But she kind of created the space where she allowed me to talk about it in such a way where it was strengthening this understanding. So it was really beautiful, and I'm really grateful to her for approaching me with that. And I just want to say that the months of not having Satsang together have been actually such a huge blessing because it feels like it's really strengthened the sense of Sangha, and it's really strengthened the connection with you as well. And so it's been really lovely, yeah. And I'm really grateful for that. And I think I want to speak on behalf of the whole Sangha that you're just such a blessing for us, and to be so accessible in the way that you are is so beautiful and rare. And we know that you're busy, that your form is busy, and so just thank you for taking the time to continuously point to this. We love you so much. We love you so much.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Such a beautiful report. And when is it? When does Kisha... 15th? The 16th? The 16th at midnight. See you soon. Let's go to Second.

So happy to see you again and perform. It's a blessing. We again... and I really have not much words. Yeah, I can feel this love which you are. And there's a lot happened the last month, especially with the body, because as I have an issue with the heart, so there were hospital visits and CT scans and all the left and the rights of life. And in this time, even this thing which was going on, like 'Can you stop being?', even this was not happening at all. Just whatever was happening was happening really. And on the other side, I have a ticket for 16th of February via grace to India. Yes, yes. So with your grace, I want to come to be in your physical presence with you. Yeah. And the last bit is this corona. It's a 72-hour... you have to have a negative test before flying. Okay, so that has to turn negative. That's all at the moment.

Sorry, is it positive or something at the moment?

No, no, no, no. I have been tested three times; it was negative. Okay, but I have a little... this Mr. Doubting had. I think all these machines are just crap. So that's why. But I have a full intention to be there, and packing is happening here.

And this gift which you have here... we had another one of my children gonna come, but she recovered from corona and... but it seems like some cell is still there in the body, so the test will come positive for some time because of that. These things are happening in Denmark. If you have positive, then I think you cannot check for another three months. Yeah, it will stay positive for at least two, three months. You're not allowed. So for me, this is it. And the 16th, I bought the flight already. So 14th I go for the test, 15th results, and then on the plane. And thank you for... I have really no words, but still thank you for your presence. This is priceless, which I received in my heart very beautifully. Thank you.

Yes. Now you're double immune. Yes. You're coming back. Most of the children here have already had this thing. One of the symptoms is this fatigue.

Hello. I have nothing to say. I don't know. But yeah, it seemed like so much time gap was there. Is that what you're saying? Together like this again, doesn't seem like there was a break.

Correctly, you're saying that being together again, it doesn't seem like there was a big gap or something in the middle?

I don't know now. Like, I cannot see Father, I miss Father, I miss Father. But when I see you, it's just natural, you know? It's yeah, it's just so natural, so beautiful. I don't... send you a message. I know that you read this. I don't know what to say about this, but for me to lead, nothing else. I pray, Father... good, that's not good, but it's about audible. Yeah, just see. Okay. This thing come in. He doesn't have anything at all. It feels good because I don't even have this kind of... I don't want... don't have to worry about things which are beyond the human realm. Yeah, I don't... but when I meet with you again, it's just I love you so much.

Okay, let's go to Adrian.

Hello, Father. So nice. I really resonate with what you say about the meeting life, meeting reality as it is without interpretation. And because I see now that, in a way, my anxiety about life and the panic attacks and fear about the future comes from this: that I cannot meet the life without my labels or my avoidance. Or to spot these things, to spot this reliance on narratives, rely on something, then those could lead to mental conditions, like just conceptual condition. And to see that just full, open, and empty intelligence of your heart, nothing is missing. And also I can see that I have certain comfort limits or comfort zones, and if I go beyond that limit, like some anxiety comes or some fear. And I can see also that there's some fear of relating to self-image and fear of not being judged by others. And it's related to... I just offered this to the fire of the seeing and of truth.

Once you see that you are without any limits, you can be bound by conceptual limits only when you take yourself to have limits. So as you're seeing that you yourself don't know limits, then you will not be able to make this comfort zone so easily.

Yeah, it's just a dissolution of the fear about what life may bring or what may happen, and wanting approval and wanting love from others, those kind of fears. Yes, it's good. It's good for me to see that everything is your grace and God's grace, and just to not believe that life is against me.

Yes, I think as opposed to you, nothing is opposed to you.

Sometimes there are some ideas that I should be... I should prove myself or have... be approved by others, you know? Like you say, I haven't had so much success in this worldly life. You know, I for the last many years I've been like cocooned in my own... I heard one time Guruji say about when a tree is young, it is good to have some protection strong enough to face the winds. And I feel this has been my life for some time now, and I'm grateful for this that has helped me to dedicate my energy to myself and to Satsang.

And all the refuge that we need is available in God's heart, in the Satguru's heart, in the Sangha's heart. Everything... we're fully protected. In a way, it is a safe space. It's supposed to be a safe place without judgment, without rich and poor, without hierarchy, without all of these things. Just the space in which you can just be so safe and unjudged. Of course, mostly it ends up pushing a lot of buttons and all these things play out, and that is the human condition. It plays out in the Sangha as well. But really, if it is going towards something, the Sangha is evolving towards something, that is towards collectively as well. Thank you. Thank you. Let's go to Georgina.

Hello, Father. Yeah, so now what is the trip? 14th? The 21st. 21st. And it's a one-way ticket. Absolutely. No way back. This is good.

Body is feeling all right with you?

Yes, it's been feeling good for a long time, but if you're right about the exhaustion, feeling tired... but I started taking a tea, right with tea, three days ago and it's ragweed. I'll write it down there. I'll write it on it.

It's illegal? Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. We can all drink it. It's cheaper. That's really good information for all of us because everybody also buys it, starts feeling the exhaustion. Yes, and it's like exhaustion is not even the right word for it. It's like you can't... you just want the bed and nothing else. But yeah, this is actually helping it. I take one or two a day, and in two or three days it starts acting. So get some of this ragweed tea when you... I will bring some. Thank you so much. Sorry, I couldn't hear you. Can't wait to have you here. All of us are looking forward. Thank you. Thank you. Let's go to Beatrice. Are you connected on audio? Because it doesn't give me the option to ask to unmute. I just want to say that I love you so much. Oh, let's put Marine.

It's a little soft. Yeah, a little louder. Speak up a bit. This is good. Thank you. Big, big love, big, big blessing on you and on your body and on your life. Feel very blessed to be here, find myself here in this moment. And yeah, actually I left Facebook a few months ago, so I didn't get the regular like updates about Satsangs and somehow I also I didn't have the time to check in. And just this afternoon I was called and I felt drawn. So it's very special to realize like actually there was a like absence apparently, yeah, that I didn't even... and some God just called me. It was beautiful to affirm this connection deep in the heart and that life just takes care of everything without any support needed. It's amazing.

Yeah, so good to hear that.

Yeah, you know, briefly little report. Yesterday I met a very old friend from my high school days that I didn't speak to for like eight years. And around the time that my life shifted, we disconnected. And also there was quite a lot of like... it was really a break, like kind of a lot of judgment from me to him in that time and him to me. So it was really like this kind of thing that happens with old friends. And so in advance of this meeting, this reunion, I felt mostly curious but also a little bit of like anticipation, you know? Like curiosity to what would... he also has a very strong personality, very strong-willed and strong opinions and powerful, kind of a confronting personality. And we took a long walk and it was just so, so beautiful. It was really so touching and beautiful to spend the morning with him and to just feel only love and only... yeah, only love for him. And it was so healing in a way, you know? To because when I disconnected from him, there was also from my side this judgment kind of to whatever he was embodying or something. But to really get to feel kind of just love him was so, so beautiful. And I just think, you know, grace and Guruji and for this path of love, full love, full of blessings. Thank you.

Let's go to Gemma.

Hello. I didn't know it was Satsang today, so I get in very late. Thank you. Thank you very much to see you again. Very glad to see you again. I want to support something because I'm like... I spent like around 10 days, like two, three weeks ago, that I suddenly I was very clear, very, very light. Like even walking, it seems like I was walking in the clouds. And but what happened? I was feeling very nice inside and very with a great joy, with a great peace, very peaceful with myself. But suddenly everything around me turns... it seems like it turns against me. My family, the people I met in the street... but very strange things that I thought, 'Wait, take care, because this is something about what psychiatrics will tell you this... you are going up in bipolar stuff.' And even my psychiatric says that I was not... I don't know how to say in English this... I was... when you don't have too much attention, when your attention is not good, that you are... yes. And but he didn't... I asked, 'Why are you saying that?' and he didn't answer me. He says that... he told me three times and he didn't want me to answer me again. I don't know. But what happened is that I get afraid because it seems like people who was... this is a little bit... I don't know if it... if this is a disorder, but it's like... I felt like I was very open, but that people was like saying me things a little bit... maybe it was a little bit in between this.

It was not good that you are 'yes and but.' He didn't... I asked, 'Why are you saying that?' and he didn't answer me. He says that he told me three times and he didn't want to answer me again. I don't know, but what happened is that I get afraid because it seems like people who was... this is a little bit, um, I don't know if this is a disorder, but it's like, um, I felt like I was very open but that people was like saying me things a little bit. Maybe it was a little bit in between this kind of mental disorder that they say I have. I can't remember now because it's like three weeks that I spent like this peace and like this, and now I find okay as a person, I would say. But it's like this strange difference, this peace, this different kind of joy even when you are doing things. It's like, what's going on? It's so easy. It's like I realized like my left hand, that I don't pay attention normally, was working very, very, very easily, like doing, and I would say, 'Wow, I'm doing things with my left hand very easily,' and I never realized that. And things like this, no? And I was feeling fine and I was not excited at all, just in peace, but moving very, very sweet, very, very light.

And for me, everything—not like the light of the sun when it rises up, or the sounds of nature, the birds, everything—but when I was in between a lot in the city, because I live in a small village, when I was in the city surrounded with many people, I couldn't stand that because I felt like the people was crazy. But was crazy against me also. And then I thought, 'Wait, take care, Gema. Maybe you have to take antipsychotics now because you're going I don't know where.' And with these things, I think I get a little bit afraid and suddenly, even few days, it went off very slowly. It went off and I don't have these feelings inside me. I feel okay now. I feel a little bit anxiety because I had to move from the flat I was living to another, to my parents' house, to the new one I'm in now. And all these things and all these movements, all these things very rational and military movements, makes me... I don't know, maybe helps to get out of this kind of, I will say, state.

So I would like if you could tell me something about this, because I thought like, okay, this is like feeling Grace very close, feeling as I am Grace, as I am the Self, is feeling the Self as I am the Self, but very, very close. But this is even a feeling that probably it goes, but it's too nice a feeling, I know, when it goes. So I would like if you could say something about this, please. Thank you.

Thank you. All my love, all my love to you. And I'm so happy to see you happy, smiling, nice haircut, everything looking so nice. And I was listening very closely when you were talking about this where, you know, we're talking about the sounds of nature and everything was so alive and beautiful. And it kind of reminded me of—I often say this—after I met Guruji, I saw a flower for the first time. I just felt like, oh, it's always been like this. It's always been so beautiful and so alive and full of light. And when you were talking about the way you were moving and things, it reminded me a lot of that, actually. It's very, very good. But I'll just say, don't be scared of the switch if it happens sometimes and it doesn't seem so beautiful and seems a bit this thing. Then life, in a way, is a bit of this dealing with the ups and the downs.

So from what I see, you, after a few months, you look very good and so, so, so happy to see this. And may Grace bless you with more and more of that open mind. This you find that actually there's not so much difference between the sound of beautiful words—but I may sound crazy, okay—but there's not so much difference between the sound of beautiful words and the sound of traffic. But without judgment, everything in God's creation is very good.

But it was like all my senses were increased, yes. Like I could listen to things that I never pay attention about. But even all these senses, when I was in between crowded surroundings with people, it was crazy. It was like I was afraid of the people because I feel like people say me things or people looking things, and I could, like if I could read the minds of what they are thinking. And all was to increase the beautiful and the ugly. So I get afraid because this is what the psychiatrist says: 'Oh, you are not fine, you have to be locked in the psychiatric.' So I have this because I have this background. It's like I take like an attention that it becomes like a control. So this space of very easy, I turn it in control, like 'Take care, Gema.' So how can I do that to don't... I don't know how to explain very well.

I would feel like my heart is saying that Grace is taking care. Grace is taking care of everything. In terms of the other state where you feel like, you know, people are coming to attack and all of these, I don't know whether I'm educated enough to be able to comment on those kind of states. I have not had much experience with this kind of state myself, so I'm not able to speak much on that. But the contrasting state seems like a lot of openness and ways, and overall in life, I know that a divine intelligence is running there. But specifically how to deal with that kind of situation and things, I'm not so sure because I have not had the taste of it firsthand here, and I don't want to presume something and offer that to you.

But more and more, I want to rely on just a reminder that just as much emptiness as you can find... there are times where it seems impossible, and that's why I didn't want to comment so much on it, because if it's impossible, then I don't want to just give you something which is so difficult to do. But if you feel like whatever is possible, to remain as open and empty as possible even in those kind of situations would be the advice that is coming up from here. But you have to take it with a pinch of salt because it is not coming from verified experience.

Yes. Well, now I'm very grateful because there were few days that I couldn't go out because all these feelings. I was feeling like I was not myself, I mean as Gema. But at the same time, I was feeling the other people, but in a badly way, so I couldn't go out. So now I'm grateful because this passed. But I don't have this feeling of lightness and this nice feeling of this peace, this intense peace. I don't have this. Maybe it's good because it's the way when I'm in a crowd with a lot of people, I don't have these senses through the other people. And I try to, in working with mind of course, like seeing other people as the Self also, which is something that is very difficult for me. Because when I was in that state, I felt like, 'This is not me,' as something is moving along and look how easy and how light is the body and how the senses are very open. But it was too much. It was like too much to accept that surrounded by other people. It was more with the other people, not with animals or plants or whatever, no?

But now it's like, okay, I'm more like back a little bit like with Gema, and I had to do a lot of movements as Gema. And of course, it's like I can deserve in memory, not the state, I have the memory of the feeling, but no, I don't have the feeling already, the same feeling I had. And I wonder if do I have to sense this way to be more like centered in the Self, the true I Am, or it doesn't matter? Or those feelings are not the point? I mean, I understand that I am the Self even if I have this feeling or not, but it's like when I had those feelings, I felt, 'Oh yes, I am the Self, I am the true Self, I'm pure awareness, yes. Oh, I'm pure awareness, it's true.' So it was like the senses gave me the confirmation. Without these senses so amplified or so open or whatever, there's the doubt. I cannot feel all the time that... I forget and I'm Gema again, and I'm thinking again about how I work and how I do. So I become more Gema, you know, without that way of open. What happened? I don't know how to explain very well.

So the thing with beautiful spiritual experiences is that we can get attached to them, but there's no way we can recreate them. So what you can do, in a way, is just to not take yourself to be the person as much as possible, and then if Grace has to bring you back in such a state, then Grace will do that. There's no way to control or determine whether these things will happen again. But trust that whatever is being given to you has been planned by a supreme intelligence that is done in your life. So just remain in that trust. And you are starting to have beautiful insights and experiences which are confirming the presence of a greater divinity, and my blessing and love is so that that only amplifies more and more. Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, last one. Christina.

I have no question. You answered the questions already. So good. I feel you right here even without exchanging many words. I realized that anxiety... so much love.

Oh, doesn't look like there's much time for a bhajan. My family's been calling me often. Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. You.