This Is the Simplicity of Self-Discovery - 8th July 2022

Yeah, yeah, yes we do. Okay, cool. I love you, Father. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Love you too. It's a great start to Satsang. Yeah, so this awareness actually is the simplest. It's the simplest discovery. I loved your report, by the way. So just to point everyone in that same discovery: the discovery of awareness is the simplest discovery. In fact, completely effortless. Completely. It's nothing in a way. It's like it's invisible, you know? It's there, but it's invisible. You can't see, like, touch it or feel it, but it's really tangible, awareness, you know? And then the am-ness, the being, is the presence. The am-ness is there as well, right? Yes, the being. You can be completely natural about it. Just be completely natural. You don't have to like hold it up or it's not a special state. Just relaxed, very relaxed. Everything is funny. So you're aware now, isn't it?

Yeah, I'm aware. Yes.

Yes. And this you that is aware, this you that is aware—you're right, it's not visible, it's not perceivable, it's not perception, and yet it is apparent, isn't it? And it's not that this you owns like a force called awareness or an entity called awareness, you see? There is no distinction between this you and awareness itself. You are that awareness.

Exactly, yes.

Now the mistake many of us make in this simple exercise is that many times we feel like it is some dark empty space, like full of space everywhere. That's not it. Because if it was dark, then that would be a quality and it would be perceived. So that which is aware of perceiving even that, that which is aware of the perception even of that... Good. Should I mute myself again? Yes, yes you can. But I'm very happy, very happy to see you after seven years. After seven years, right?

Yeah, me too, Father. I love you so much for forever and ever, eternity.

Okay, let's go to Bodhi.

Hello, thank you. Can you hear me well?

Yes, yes, my dear. Thank you very much.

I just wanted to express this love I'm drawn into again. I forgot for a while, and I don't need to have or do anything else. I just want to completely, completely, you know, get lost. So there is nothing else, just this love. So I just wanted to tell you that you are this love. Thank you. And I've been searching for humanoid, basically the saints in heart, in this visible world for all this life, and meeting them as well, which was the blessing. And that feels wonderful to be with them, you know? If there could be any wish, I would like to meet Papaji, you know? Like he wanted to meet and he was meeting all those greats, and he is in my heart. I can't see him, you know, so I'm grateful for that. I don't know if that's the destiny, you know, if it's written, then of course I would like to meet you at least once in physical form because in heart we've known each other beyond time. Now I know there is the essence of that. And I would like to, you know, there was a very hard time for months. It came all of a sudden, and I'm mentioning it because it hit directly my son. Yes, my grace, and then, you know, the grace is just wonderful. You know, his life was saved, but it felt really... it ignited this primal fear, you know, within. And the mind and all of the edges rose so strongly. I don't know if it has ever been like that. But against Guru's grace, nothing can succeed, you know? So that was... this wasn't like in the previous time before that. Basically, it looked like I was swimming in these forces, you know? It wasn't like that, and it will never be like that ever. Because self-inquiry started working, and even if it was so strong, it's just like it was leading, you know? And together with self-inquiry, actually, you just put words in heart and it was like 'Guru Kripa Kevalam', you know? There, nothing can succeed. Nothing. Even if you take everything, I love this love; it cannot be broken. So I just want to put it through again, even if it's all there anyway. And just, you know, I don't really like to use this Advaita language because that's not natural to me. The heart wants to speak by silence, but words need to be used sometimes. And there is that arising or being present in the midst of these biggest challenges, and it's physically really hard, you know? And it can do whatever... like, no matter what happens, everything is Guru's grace. Thank you for those words, you know, for the mantra. And I would like to say one more thing. Okay, there is one... I don't know if he is a member of Sangha, or there is one being in Kerala, and he was explaining to me... with him it was easy, it just started flowing, talking to me about scriptures. And I had... it was like I was living Krishna and Arjuna. I don't know why Arjuna is so close to me. And it was like I haven't read that, I just feel that, I believe that, you know? So and it is bringing me closer to... even its distant-less to Papaji again, because he was a lover. And I've seen Krishna myself before everything went wrong. So thank you, Father. I call you Father. I can call you me. Thank you very much for... and grace knows what needs to be done. Oh, thank you. Thank you for having the opportunity. Thank you.

Thank you. God bless you. Thank you so much. Yes, so just hearing what both of them said in the beginning, some words are coming here. So let's start with just utter simplicity. That simplicity is utter originality. Don't add anything to this moment. Don't even call it a moment. Just nothing at all. Just open, just empty. Now, as you are utterly simple, a thought is complex. So let all the complexity come and go. You don't have to resolve anything. You don't have to fix anything. You don't have to conclude anything. You don't need to determine the nature of anything. You don't have to say that 'I am like this and the world is like this.' None of that. All of that is complication. So remain utterly simple, fully simple. Now in this, are there just perceptions? I want to tell you that that which is beyond perception is fully apparent to you, and nobody is confused about this except in the head. So the job is not to convince your head. Don't rush. Take it really slow. It's all fine. Nothing has to be grasped. You cannot miss this. Allow yourself to be in the no-mind, which only means allow the mind to come and go. The unborn, the no-mind, the open and empty, notionless existence—all these different words for the same thing. Utter openness, utter simplicity. Naturally, this voice is being heard by you, but it is fully apparent to you without having to think that you are not just all that you are perceiving. I don't even need to ask you; it is apparent to you already, whether you like it or not. Nobody is confused. Nobody is feeling that they are just these perceptions. It is apparent to you that you are aware of the perception of this voice without any work. If you're trying, you've gone too far. Okay? So anybody who's trying to stop it, stop trying. Settle down, just relax, chill out. Okay? If there's effort involved, you're using the wrong instruments. If there's effort involved, you're using the wrong instruments. And if the mind is jumping around saying various things, don't worry about that. Don't make any effort to stop it also. Just allow everything to come and everything to go. Now, raise your physical hand if you feel like there are only perceptions and you are included in the perceptions that you are perceiving. Anybody experiencing that? That it is only perceptions? So, one or two hands I see. So I just want to clarify the question. So everything that you perceive, you see, is in front of your attention. But you that is aware of these perceptions is not in front of the attention. It is not a perception that is being perceived. This is the question. So, is this you that is aware of these perceptions also a perception? How many feel that the you that is aware of perceptions is also a perception? Okay, one hand goes up. Let's go to Bodhi again. Let's look at this closely right here. So, that which is aware of the perception of this hand, what is the color of that? For it to be a perception, it must have some shape, some size, some color, some location, some duration. All of these things must belong to anything that is objective, isn't it? So I am asking whether that which is aware of the perception of this hand, whether that can be perceived by itself.

Yeah, it can.

So if it is perceivable, then it must have some color. What is the color? Everything perceivable has a color, isn't it?

I don't know. I don't know.

If it is perceivable, then does it have a color, a shape, or size? Something? Some quality, some attribute, some guna? So that which is perceivable must have... call it guna, it is only a quality. So what is the one quality we can mention about that one which is aware?

It's like two steps. One is that witness, and beyond that it's what I... and whether that you that is aware of the perception of this hand, what quality can you say about it? You know, the mind wants to give the answer, but there is no answer because it just doesn't have any quality. It's like the feeling that this consciousness, I am in this body and I'm moving in this world of everything, but I know I'm not that.

That which is aware of the feeling is you, isn't it?

Yes, yes. But not personally.

Not personally. Perfect. So that you which is aware of even the feeling of the sense of being, the feeling of presence, you see, of the sense of presence—that you which is aware of that, does it have any quality, shape, size?

That one doesn't. That one doesn't. And is another one of you that's the embodied one? I don't know how to say that.

If it doesn't have any real existence, you see, have any tangible existence, even perceivable existence, you see, who is that? And if it does have an embodied existence, quote-unquote, then it would have a quality or shape or size. So which is that embodied one?

Is only mind. Yes, that's you. That's the only mind. Yeah.

So that which the mind proposes that we are, we cannot find that one. It doesn't exist. It is just a figment of our mind. Everyone's with me on this? So let's come back again to the perception of this hand. You are aware of it, isn't it? Without any advertising gymnastics, spiritual gymnastics.

If you have an embodied existence, quote-unquote, then it would have a quality or shape precisely. So which is that embodied one? It is only mind. Yes, that's you. That's the only mind. Uh, yeah. So that which the mind proposes that we are—that which the mind proposes that we are—we cannot find that one. It doesn't exist. It is just a figment of our mind. Everyone's with me on this?

So let's come back again to the perception of this hand. You are aware of it, isn't it? Without any advertising gymnastics, spiritual gymnastics of any sort, you are aware of the perception of this voice, of this hand, isn't it? But this 'you' itself, you do not perceive. You cannot perceive. And yet it is, quote-unquote, known to everyone. Yourself is known to you, but not as conceptual knowledge, not as an idea. It's a knowledge of a different sort. It's a very, very uncommon knowledge as far as the terminology of the world is concerned. As far as the terminology of the world is concerned, to know something you have to either perceive it or to have a concept of it. Here, you don't need to have a concept of it or to perceive it. That is why it is uncommon knowledge, and that is called intuitive insight.

This is the only self-recognition, self-realization that anybody will ever have. It has always been there, always been there, but we have not recognized it. We have not valued it in some way. You see, consciousness in its play and an identification as a human entity in the human conditioning has neglected this original fact, which is probably the only thing. So this is the only self-realization, no matter which path that you're coming from, no matter which teacher you're coming from, whether you've done yoga, yoga, yoga, Raja Yoga, whatever type of yoga, any form of spirituality. The recognition of the Self is only this because there is only one non-perceptual recognition—non-perceptual and non-conceptual recognition. Only the Self you can recognize this way, no? Have you ever recognized anything else but the Self in this way, without using a concept and without using a perception?

Okay, so only the Self is recognizable this way, and it is recognizable for all, no matter what the preparatory steps it seems like you needed to get to this point, you see. So this is self-recognition. This is Atma Gyan. This is self-realization. This is it. It is as simple as that. Every other thing that the mind wants, even the mind's idea of freedom or enlightenment, is for the person. It's a desire in the garb of spirituality. So this is recognition, pure and simple, and it is available to anyone. Anyone who can allow themselves to be open for an instant and not take themselves to be a construct of mental beliefs. This is possible and available for everyone.

This is recognition. You recognize that it is you, and yet you do not see or have to think of this 'you'. You recognize that it is you, and yet you don't have to see or think of this 'you', isn't it? You are aware of the hearing of this voice, but you are not hearing. You are not size, you are not taste, that smell. Okay, I'll just mute you, my dear, we'll come back. So this is the simplicity of self-discovery. Not one step you have to take. If you're taking steps, you've gone too far. Retreat, retreat! That is the only retreat you need. Retreat from all effort, retreat from all steps, retreat from all processes, retreat from all progress. Forget about all of that. This simplicity you already have now.

Many of you will struggle because you will say, 'But, but I am not convinced.' But you are convinced. It is your mind which is not. You are convinced because you are saying that it is 'I' which is aware, you see. Your mind wants to see it in a shape and a size. If it saw it in a shape and a size, then it would become another perception. And what happens to all perceptions? They come and go. So therefore, in the Vedantic experiment, you see, in the Vedantic experiment, therefore, that cannot be real. So they are not driving while sleeping, isn't parked? Okay, good.

So this satisfaction, you see, which the mind is pleading for, you don't have to give to the mind. The mind will say, 'What did you see?' You see? So are you lying when you say you are aware? You are not lying. You are aware, isn't it? Not some uncle, it's you, isn't it? So this 'you', how do you know about it? Do you know about it in your head? And you don't know about it through your senses either. This is self-knowledge. Everyone has it. That is why the sages have told us often that the diamond is already in your pocket, the treasure is already with you. Anyone has a confusion about this simple self-recognition? We'll come to the 'buts' later. The 'buts' usually start with, 'This is clear in satsang, but when I go out, then it goes away.' All those things we'll come to later. But is this clear right now? For right now? And don't worry, if I'm speaking authoritatively, it doesn't mean that I'm going to be angry or something if it's not clear enough. I'm happy to listen to a report about this. But about this, anyone unclear?

Okay, let's go to... unclear. Unclear. Thank you. Thank you. Yes.

Okay, so before I give your mind the chance to construct the story, right now, who's hearing this voice, or who's aware of hearing it? Is it you?

Yes, it's me.

Is that 'you'—do I see that 'me'?

No. No, you don't see it.

No. And yet, you are certain it is you?

Yes, it's me.

So on what basis are you claiming that 'me'?

It has to be me. I don't know.

Is it just a conceptual inference that it has to be me? That's why? Is it that you're inferring? So if I was to tell you—and you trust me, you know—so if I was to tell you, 'No, no, it's not you, it is actually Devi who I see next to you on Zoom.' So it's not you, it's Devi. What would you... otherwise you would not even know what I have said. If you are aware of the hearing of these words and you are aware of the perception of sight in front of you, either on the phone or computer, whatever it is, you see, you are aware of that. That 'you' that is aware, can that itself be perceived? Are you watching that? You're not perceiving this, you see.

So in the world it is said, 'Seeing is believing,' you see. So you're not seeing this 'you', so you must be lying about it? No, you're lying? No, you see. So you are relying on your intuition, but your mind doesn't like it to come to this recognition. You are relying on your intuition because it is not seen through sight. It is not seen as an object. You are not seeing yourself objectively, you see. You are only recognizing yourself in an uncommon mechanism which is called intuitive insight. Everybody is doing that already, you see, but we have become used to catering to the mind which says, 'But, but, but how can I be sure?' You cannot see. The mind cannot, because mind is designed to process stimulus, you see, to give name, to label, to interpret, to storify that which is in the realm of concepts and of perception. You are much beyond those things.

So already your intuition is working perfectly. Nobody's intuition is failing. Nobody's intuition needs servicing. Everybody's intuition is working perfectly. It is fully apparent to you that you are aware of the perception of this voice, of this hand, of the temperature, of all these perceptions that we call the senses. You are aware. But this awareness itself, which sense is it? Is it sight? It's not sight. Is it hearing? Does it hear the hearing? Take a time; this can sound tricky. Is awareness a process of hearing the hearing? Is it a process of tasting the tasting? Are there different modes of operation for this awareness, or is it just... okay, I'm going to give the answer. It's just a primal intelligence, you see, which is just aware, which we cannot really define what that 'aware' is, you see.

So many of you fall into the trap of taking sights to be events, you see, because we use terms like witnessing. Many times we feel like we are seeing; we may even use that term 'seeing', but it is not sight. You are aware of sight, you are aware of hearing, but you're not seeing sight, you're not hearing hearing, and you're not seeing hearing or hearing sight. You're not applying any of this. You're just aware. It is over here. And that awareness is undefinable, you see. It's not a process of using some objective senses, objective discovery to find yourself. It is just simple.

So you are aware of your existence. You are aware that you exist, isn't it? That you are. Are you aware you are? You are aware that you are. Are you sure it's you?

Yes. Yes.

How can you be so sure? How can we show you something? You are aware that you exist.

I don't know how, like, sure, but I'm just sure.

Exactly. Exactly. And just sure of it. Very good. Very good. So to rely on this sureness, which is not a mental surety, isn't it? It's not that 'I'm convinced, I read a book, I read a book that it is me and therefore I'm saying it must be me.' It's not mental clarity, isn't it? It's not a mental fight. You're saying, 'What is the absurd question he's asking? It has to be me.' That's what I was asking in the beginning. Is it just an inference which is coming from the mind, or is it apparent to you that you are hearing, you are aware of this hearing? It's apparent to you, but you don't know how. So this 'don't know' sounds very unglamorous, you see. So that is why we call it a glamorous name called intuition. It doesn't need to be called intuition, but because 'Oh, I just do,' you see, or 'I don't know how I do' doesn't sound exciting enough for the mind. So for the mind, to feed the mind as to how do you know, say 'intuitively'.

This intuition is the most primal, it's the most original, it's the most natural knowledge. Nobody can lose it even if they try. Now lose it. See, you try it. Right? When I give you a challenge like that, nobody can lose it even if they try. Try, try and see. Don't be aware. Don't be aware. Can you do it?

No.

Okay, very good. You can't do it, no? So now try to be something other than this. Try to be what they call the person. Try to be the ego. Try, let's see you succeed. What are the steps that are needed? You see, first what is needed? First what is needed? First you have to be. Okay, first you have to be. When you're in deep sleep, the being is also resting within you. Forget it, there's no chance you can identify, isn't it? So first being has to be here. Yes. So once being is there, are you identified? All of you are being right now, right now, right now you are being—except those who've fallen asleep, which is fine. So those awake, you're being right now, you see. Now how to take yourself to be a person? Can you do it without a thought? First try to just be personal without a thought. Look at all the sensations. If there are contractions, look at them. Look at them as hard as you want with all your attention focused on the contraction. See if you become the person unless the mind comes and says, 'Ah, this contraction is here, therefore you must be something, you must be a person,' or some idea like that. Without that, just try to do it with perception itself. If you feel like you're too body-identified, stare at the body. Just look at it. See if you can become the body just by looking at it, you see. Give all your attention to that which you think you identified with. Stare at it and see if you become the body and you are no longer awareness. Tell me if you succeed.

No.

Was that a thought?

That was not a thought. No.

Not without a thought you can't. That is massive discovery. Can you do it energetically? Because that's your favorite excuse, you see, because you know that Ananta is going to say it's just a thought. 'It's not just a thought, my problem is more serious. I have an energetic problem.' So an energy comes, you see. Energy comes, it's shaking everything, everything. Maybe the whole world like a tsunami or an earthquake is shaking, you see. Now identify without a thought. Everything is shaking, the whole body is shaking, you see. Perceive it, but identify without using a thought, without even the label 'energetically'. Full contraction, everything, the worst-case scenario from the mind, you see. Try to identify energetically. Can you do it? You see, but this energy comes, the energy comes and it's just so heavy in my heart, all of that. So imagine all that is happening. Now identify just with your attention, just in perception of whatever.

Shaking, you see. Now identify without a thought. Everything is shaking; the whole body is shaking, you see. Perceive it, but identify without using a thought, without even the label. Energetically, full contraction, everything—the worst-case scenario from the mind, you see. Try to identify energetically. Can you do it? You see, but this energy comes, the energy comes and it's just so heavy in my heart, all of that. So imagine all that is happening. Now identify just with your attention, just in perception of whatever you are perceiving. Remain in the—what I call—pure perception and see if identification is possible, or are you still this awareness alone? I know you know conceptually also the right answer, but just check. Humor me. Who is identified just with perception? You see, so it cannot happen. Of course, what can happen is that these energies, you see, the mind uses as evidence to say, 'See this? Therefore, you must be still personal.' It uses as evidence, you see, for the non-existent crime to convince you that the crime has happened, you see. But it is really not.

Okay, so suppose now all of you have checked that with attention in my being, just with attention, I cannot identify or suffer, or take myself to be a person in any way. Suppose we have all come to this point together. Yes? Now, what do you have to do to identify? What do you have to do? So, it's not possible just with attention. What is the other primal force that consciousness has given itself besides attention? Belief. Belief. So let's play with belief and say, see what happens. What can you believe? What can you believe? Can you believe perception? Can you believe perception? Believe this. Believe this. Can you believe it? You see, but what can you believe? If I was to—if this was the perception and if I was to go around the room and say, 'What is Ananta doing?' You say, 'He's telling us to stop.' No, one may say that. One may say, 'He is blessing us all, my blessing, my child,' you know, like that. 'He's blessing her,' you see. Another may say, 'Wait, wait, wait,' or some whatever interpretation you may have, you see. 'He's posing for the camera.' You can have your own belief about it. But what is the perception actually? What is the perception actually? This is important, okay? So don't lose me at this point.

So what is the actuality of what you're perceiving? What is the actuality of this perception? We cannot say. We cannot say, you see. So this moment and every moment, you cannot interpret its reality—that this is what's happening and especially this is what's happening to me—because both what you're concluding to be happening and the 'me' are fake. Okay? So what you conclude about what is happening is just like this. What is happening? This. What is happening? You see, if you were able to conceptually conclude what this was, then all of you would have the same. If the truth was able to be found like this through conceptual interpretation, then all of you would find one truth, isn't it? What is happening? One will say satsang is happening. One will say great boredom is happening. One will say the laughter is coming. One will say boredom is coming, you see, various—sleep is coming. So what is the truth? It is indeterminable conceptually.

When we take this mental interpretation to be true, that is when we identify. What is the power that we have to take it to be true? Belief, isn't it? So when consciousness uses its power of belief, that means to take a concept and say that this is what really is, you see. That is the power of belief—to be able to make a narrative about something which is non-narrative is the power of belief. And it does nothing for you except to give you the ability to storify your life, and that story brings nothing to you; in fact, it takes you away from the joy of pure perception, you see. So most of humanity is living in a conceptual storybook of their life instead of actually living life, you see. And how are they doing that? As you may be doing that, by attempting to understand, you see.

So if understanding is happening at the mind-intellect level, let it happen. When I say don't understand, I don't mean you should actively try to not understand. I am only saying that don't value that understanding because where I'm meeting you and what I'm pointing you to, you cannot conceptually understand. At best, you can understand that you cannot understand, you see. But what I'm pointing you to is much greater than that. Okay? What is your life when you're not trying to conceptualize, which means not trying to understand, interpret, judge, figure out what to do—all of this process of conceptualization? What is your life without it? Where will you go for the answer?

The question about non-understanding, yes. It feels—it feels very pure when it—when I don't try to understand. Very pure, very natural.

And those moments are what we call amazing, mind-blowing. You see a beautiful river, you see the Ganga is flowing in front of you, beautiful. And where is your mind? It may be trying something, but it doesn't really work because you're not interested. It doesn't matter. Okay, so this is the key: that it really doesn't matter what your perception is in front of you, you see. There are just some perceptions which the mind is not used to, so it can—it can for a moment run out of moves, and then we enjoy that, you see. But those who live next to the Ganga, for example, just walk around normally. So I have—we have all seen this, isn't it? That when we visit Rishikesh or something, we are going there and, 'Wow, beautiful!' And the locals there are just laughing. 'What's happening with these people?' you know, because for them it's just become regular.

So the mind has built up enough defenses against the beauty of what is perceivable. In the same way, everyone's life is extremely, originally, naturally, organically beautiful, but we have built enough conceptual defenses to make our story full of suffering and challenges using the nonsensical variables of relationships, money, body, and freedom. But right now, what is your life right now? What does the relationship mean to you without having to think? You see a bouncing blob of perceptions, you see. Can it have a relationship with awareness? Now, first you must take yourself to be a blob of perception and then feel like, 'Oh, that is not enough, therefore I want to be bigger,' using another blob of perceptions. And then everybody wants to rule the world, as the song goes. So everybody wants this blob of perception to have more and more that it can call mine, more and more that it can call mine, so that it feels like the heart longing for me to be all there is can be satisfied by this labeling mind—'mine, mine, mine.' But it cannot be. It can only come through true insight.

So, okay, let's make it simple again. Basically, don't buy into any idea what the mind is telling you because inherent in those ideas is the notion of the wrong me, of a made-up me. And it's talking nonsense about the world because the world is too broad for it to grasp. We cannot even decide for one moment what is this. Cannot even decide for one moment. And we have a story about thirty, forty, fifty years of our life, and everybody that knows you has a different story about your life, you see. So which story is true? It's not possible like that, you see. So don't miss out on living because you are storifying, you see. This is a wonderful movie; don't miss it for the subtitles.

Imagine if I was watching a Turkish movie. I was watching a Turkish movie and then I'm just reading the subtitles. I don't know what else is happening, but I've just read the subtitle, so I've just read it like a book. Then Salar comes and asks me, or Jada comes and asks me, 'So what did you see in that movie, Father? What did you like about it?' 'Oh, it was a nice story.' 'Oh, but did you like this one's acting?' 'I didn't see because I was too busy reading the subtitle.' 'Did you see the beautiful forest the director had shot?' 'No, I didn't see because I was just reading the subtitle,' you see. Would you call that watching a movie? No. But in the same way, that is what we are doing with our life. First, we are taking ourselves to be what the mind is telling us, then we are taking life to be what the mind is telling us. So it's time we stop it. Just stop it. And don't make these categories of our spiritual or satsang or real versus practical versus, you see, day-to-day versus—all is nonsense mental categories. Just live. Just live. The intelligence that is running this universe can run your life and is already running your life. The subtitles do not change the movie, but the subtitles are also not the true narrator of what is happening in the movie.

So, okay, so now this conceptual emptiness. Conceptual openness is what I call open and empty. What the sages have called no-mind or the unborn, you see. Now remain like that. See, when you remain like that, it is already apparent to you that you are not just a perception. We already started with that exercise. So self-recognition is apparent as you are open and empty. Is there anyone who feels like the recognition goes away? 'I have to hold on to it, otherwise it just goes away,' you see. That is when we get the absurdity. Sometimes in satsang you'll see this absurdity of people who are just like—you see, as if they're trying to hold on to awareness, as if it's some state or something like that. If it's happening naturally, it's happening actually. I'm not necessarily making fun of it; I'm just saying that you don't have to try and hold on to awareness like, 'I'm just like being in the awareness right now, just leave me alone.' You don't have to put yourself in any sort of state like that. It's apparent, you see. Can you forget that you are aware of the perception of this hearing? Can you forget? Do you have to remember? No, it's just apparent, you see. So when you're not buying the nonsense from the head, the truth is already apparent. It's already apparent. So remain open and empty. Convert me, because the truth is apparent to you and you cannot suffer in this way. You will not misidentify in this way and you will actually live your life. You will enjoy life, you see. Not chasing joy, but just the natural enjoyment of just tasting it so raw and organically instead of through this lens of the story.

That's it. Then what happens? Then what happens? There will be times, you see—and this happens to everyone, whether you call them a sage, whether you call them God, whether you call them whatever you may want to call them, you see—in everyone in the human condition, then consciousness loves to taste a moment or two of identification, you see, just to see the contrasting juice of just pretending to be contracted and then like that. So when those moments come, when you get identified, you see, don't beat yourself up about it and say, 'Oh, I forgot to be open and empty and I'm not doing well enough, I'm not worthy enough, I'm not listening to Ananta enough, I'm a failure in spirituality,' all that nonsense. Just let it come and go. When it occurs to you that you're grasping, just let go.

So that's tip number one. Then tip number two is that sometimes you will have situations where you will feel like, 'I need some help, I need guidance,' you see. 'I don't know what to do, I need help.' So when I need help and I need to figure out what to do, I have to go to my mind? It is not true. Go to the same intuition. Go to the same intuition. So what is the check whether I am being intuitive or not? What is the true test? Over the years I've shared many ways to check. If you're, you see, in a rush, then you're not going to intuition. If you're rushing to answers, then you're not going to intuition. If there's a sense of neediness or grasping, then that is not intuitive, you see. If there is too much me versus them in the concepts, then of course we are being mind-led. But what is the simplest maybe test is that stay where it is apparent to you what your reality is. From there, all guidance, if needed, will come. Okay? So we are tracking all life and spirituality today. Okay? So stay with that where you know what your reality is. See if that seems difficult.

And you're not going to intuition if there's a sense of neediness or grasping, then that is not intuitive, you see. If there is too much 'me versus them' in the concepts—and of course we are being mind, you—but what is the simplest maybe test is that stay where it is apparent to you what your reality is. From there, all guidance, if needed, will come. Okay, so we are tracking all life and spirituality today. Okay, so stay with that where you know what your reality is. See, if that seems difficult, you can use a question like: Am I aware now? Am I aware now? You see, and be patient. Take your time. More patient than Domino's. So give it time, don't rush. Trust the silence.

There are times where it seems like no perceivable guidance is appearing from the heart; then silence is the guidance. Trust that. Don't have a notion of silence or guidance, just allow. Many times you will go to your heart: 'Please help me, Father. Guruji, please help me because I don't know what to do.' And you will find that you don't have a conceptual answer, but your hands start moving, typing out something, or you see your mouth starts moving or your feet start moving. So that is the answer. Trust that movement. So don't preempt in what way the guidance has to come, you see.

And this going to guidance is for those rare times. And I said you cannot be open and empty and you feel like, 'I definitely need an answer, I'm so lost and confused.' Of course you are identifying, and I could say, 'No, no, just drop it and don't identify,' but there are moments in all of our lives where it can feel like, you see, this thing is so strong, I definitely need some guidance. So for those 0.005 percent of the time, you can rely on your intuitive guidance. That's it. So open and empty, what you are is apparent to you. Life is being fully tasted and enjoyed. In the moments of identification, drop it. If you can't drop it, then go to your heart for guidance. That is the Satguru presence. That is the Guru presence in your very being. It is your well-being. Now, this is the life of freedom. Don't allow me to use these terms; you don't label your life like that, you see. This is the life of the unborn.

Who wants to recap? Anyone? Raise your physical hand in the room or in the Zoom. The first one, first hand I see. I want to recap. Recap, recap. No recaps? If I can't see your hand, put it in the chat that you're raising your hand. Recap. You recapped all the other days, but as if, you know, just going fresh from what you assimilate. Okay, one second. Is it on the screen? Just okay. And don't worry, no judgments.

If the judgment is I don't really need a thought to know who we are. You're the ones perceiving the thought. All forms of perception, that awareness is our true self. How's it going? I am the knowing itself. This I cannot put into concept. I can't describe it. All perceptions, whatever comes, grows. It's all these slaves. It's not me. Whatever I can see and perceive, it's all the feelings, emotions, thoughts, concepts of what is supposed to be happening. All of them come and they go, which means they are not describing me. They are describing—I have to believe them to be true. Not my belief; I have to believe that they are true for it to be taken to the truth or wherever I am or what is happening.

So there is no real objective truth because there is—all of it is part. You have to believe it to be taken to the truth for me to know why. Staying open, staying empty of identification, staying—it doesn't require searching. It doesn't require some post-confirmation: 'Yes, this is who I am.' It's not a concept that has to be proven or taken to be true. I'm already here, but in a location where it is already here. Any searches, I could be away from this. How do I live? The plan sort of needs to be—we're grasping for a plan or a strategy or something that I must do something for something to happen. A strong belief or attachment to that, know that this is coming from mind suggesting identity that I've built. Suggest the antidote to this is to go to the heart, which is coming back to the Self, which is disidentifying with that thought. And that need to grasp for an answer is still going to remain in the heart.

The movement that may be necessary for whatever has to happen in terms of speech or body movement or whatever, any action that this body has to take for its life, spontaneously arise. It doesn't have to be judged. Does it have to be evaluated for it to be true or right or wrong? These are all thoughts. Yeah, some way you can come by silence, which means no action, body reaction or body parts as much. What about the real world? How do I deal with that? This is—everybody has their own real worlds. So in this, that kind of a thought, this may work in a certain sense. Everybody's going, 'I'm trying to avoid supposedly negative action or not.' It'll only work here. This space now, peaceful, noisy, will come. You may be identified with—well, huh.

You have to speak of them like your lecture in college. You see in the chat if they're saying it's audible. In the chat, say something. It won't be... sorry.

It's always a blessing to sit at the Master's feet and be with the sangha. The Self is so apparent. Mostly it is an effortless place. It is so relaxing. You can call it awareness. There are very many terms like in the Hindu scriptures would call it Atma. It's a totally natural state of being. And everything can come because the world is an appearance. So we don't latch onto anything. And you're open and empty, then you're safe. Ananta Ji has repeatedly been telling us just like this. And being at his feet, sometimes intense gratitude can happen. Everything happens. Like today, I felt that I was very special because he sang a beautiful song and very blessed to be. Thank you.

Sorry. So, I want to go online. Put up your bodily hand. Okay, I'm going to... ah, good. Okay, let's go to me.

Did you mean again to recap? Yes. Yeah, I will try. I thank you. Thank you for this. Yeah, it is obvious that I am perceiving everything. I'm the one who is perceiving everything. And yes, I don't seem to have a shape. I don't see this even like this. And also it's very like—it's like I'm sure like there's no like—it doesn't... well, I see after satsang, but maybe it doesn't matter what kind of perception of what are happening. For example, during satsang there are usually not like thoughts coming like advice from the mind. Like I can say like, 'Don't take shape and make this.' But like after, after like videos, that time they can come. But so there is like a change of style of perception maybe a little bit. During satsang these thoughts don't come at all, almost anything. But it's okay. But yeah, actually kind of has like—since satsang starts coming like this advice from the mind a little bit, like in style of advice, basically advice, advices.

That's I think this is the first part is the most important part. Most important part, yes. I actually... yeah, it's obvious that it's impossible to identify without the thought. But right now it's—I don't feel curious. I don't feel to say that actually. Like it was so beautiful to follow and every time. But the first part, like every time, like the obviousness that it's me who's aware, it's like the most important. Thank you very much.

So this is a very important point he's making, saying that that which so many millions are chasing, the Self, can it really be that obvious and simple? Maybe just what Ananta is sharing is just flawed or fraud. How can it be very simple? Can it be? Suppose I'm in the mind, just like, 'But if this was it, then everybody could find themselves. What is everyone struggling with?' And not just that, I'm saying that this is the only self-realization. Everything else is a worldly pursuit in one way or the other, even a spiritually worldly pursuit. But self-realization—that which is beyond the world, beyond the manifest, beyond shape and size and color, beyond all of them—is only this. Because there cannot be two of that. If it's for two, you need quality and distinction between quality. One empty of quality is the only discovery you can make about yourself.

So it doesn't matter what spiritual constructs you have, what spiritual movements you've been part of, what spiritual sadhana you've done and how long, but the truth is always going to be found like this. Now, I'm not putting those down. Those things are relevant. Maybe they come to a point they're useful to a point that they make us open, open to that recognition to go beyond our belief system into that which is. So they may have their place as far as all that is concerned, but the Self will only be recognized in this way, which is without quality, without anything, anytime, any space. And it is this apparent, this available, this obvious.

So as I've often said, this part actually is just straightforward. If it is self-recognition that you want, it's available immediately. Usually what happens is that it is the constructs of our personal desire which then show up as in forms of resistance to the simplicity of open and empty, you see. To manage those seems to take some time. So that is why I say that one percent of satsang is pointing to recognition, which is unavoidable and apparent, and 99 percent is resistance management. 'But, but, but...' And you notice that the 'but' comes from the mind, which puts us first in a personal construct. Puts us first in the personal construct and then says, 'But when I go from here, when something happens, when this...' You see? So we take ourselves in that shape again and then we start the doubt. What is the shapeless doubt? I have not met one.

You don't take a shape. What I'm pointing to is obvious if you don't project it in time and say, 'Okay, later what will happen?' or 'Yesterday this happened.' All that time and all of that stuff. What is being pointed to is fully, you see. But one misunderstanding, which is a classical misunderstanding especially in India maybe for thousands of years, is that because we call this Maya, you see, therefore it must be—then we must be in opposition to it, or it must be shied away from or something like that. But that is not the case. When we are open and empty, all this is very naturally being perceived. And it is for consciousness to fully enjoy. It's a playground of enjoyment for consciousness itself, if we have to put it into some construct. That's why all of that stuff is that construct of the play of consciousness. But consciousness does not need that construct. It is our mind that needs to be convinced. 'Why is this happening? Because consciousness wanted to play.' Nonsense. But at least it shuts the mind up. So that's as far as that is concerned.

But in actuality, what is your experience without the need to conceptualize? Don't conceptualize on. So just what is your experience without the need to conceptualize anything, which means not to understand or judge anything? It's just open. It's just—I don't even want to call it perfect or beautiful or whatever. Now, all of your troubles belong to a storybook version of you. They don't belong to anything which we can call real. So don't spend your life solving non-existent problems of the non-existent one. That doesn't mean that in the play that is appearing these roller coasters won't appear. It's fine, let them appear. But don't take them to be mine because that mind is not true. The 'me' is not true. So that's how everything becomes super simple. And don't have an aversion towards simplicity. In the world we learn to value that which is most complex and difficult to understand, but spirituality does not fall into that kind of thing. All that I'm pointing to is very simple. But because of the nature of the mind, for many, especially those who are new, may find it like a little bit too abstract or too difficult. I've heard that report often. But actually it's just a little bit of defrosting and you see it's so, so simple. So self-discovery is apparent, how to live is apparent. What else is left?

In the world, we learn to value that which is most complex and difficult to understand, but spirituality does not fall into that kind of thing. All that I'm pointing to is very simple, but because of the nature of the mind, many—especially those who are new—may find it like a little bit too abstract or too difficult. I've heard that report often, but actually, it's just a little bit of defrosting and you see it's so, so simple. So, self-discovery is apparent, how to live is apparent; what else is left? The ones with the zoom hands up, let's see there. Georgina first. Georgie!

Hey. I had forgotten about that name. It's beautiful to see you again, Father.

What was the question you asked? I don't know, did I ask questions? No, I was saying, okay, so what's left? Just love now.

You make it so, so, so easy, Father.

Yes, this is a joy of mine to make it collectible, digestible here. So many spiritual gymnastics happened for so many years before I came to my Master's field, so I've been through all the confusions and struggles and nonsensical, you know, belief systems. So, I feel very happy if I can make it very direct and straightforward. Of course, in the play of the human condition, some conditioning, the checkered eye—all of these things will play up in opposition to what is being heard. But I find it very good just to give it to you straight. Yeah.

Yes. I miss you a little bit.

Oh, Sam, Sam, I miss you more than a little bit.

Okay, then I miss you a lot. And the Sangha too. All my love to everyone. Thank you, everyone. It's beautiful sharing by everyone. Like, I was singing along with Kaish. Beautiful sharing by anything. And Mango Pile is so, so beautiful. I can see a bit of a head there. Mr. G, I was there, I was thinking about you. I was like, Georgie would be proud.

Yes, I was first-row fan club. Usually, my voice is broken and my hands work, but my hands were broken and my voice worked. And I saw you got the ukulele.

Yes, nice. Yeah, I bought it just for that song. Beautiful. It's gonna be perfected.

It's already perfect. Is that the first time you hear it, Father?

No, no, no, no, there's a recording of it. How's minutes for how long? Four months. Four months. Why did you ask, Father? I'm sorry. The housemates for how long? They was asking Tango wipes, we say yes, everything. And you're okay, Father? Now your body is okay?

Yeah, yeah, I feel good. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Father. All my love to you, everyone there. All my pranams to Guruji. Yes, just leaning, that's fine. You want to recap or you want to ask a question?

I have another recap. I'm not very good at those. I don't know, I kind of raised my hand, I'm not really sure why, and I don't expect you to know why, but I don't know. And there's maybe some things to share, but I almost like almost don't wanna even touch it. Like, I don't know what is here right now, Father.

That's the easy part. Okay, what else has to be solved or resolved?

Nothing. But I would say I don't know what I want to be like. So such a nice satsang and I will be like, 'but...' And I don't think that this 'but' is bad, Father. Like, I don't know, please correct me if I'm wrong, that 'but' is taking anything away from my freedom. It doesn't feel like that. But something maybe still gets attention. And especially maybe the last couple of days because something very strong has happened in my life which I was not expecting. And I was feeling so good before, you know, like so, so good. I even was saying to someone from Sangha, 'Probably something is coming because this is so unusual.' And well, it did, and it shook me to the core. And my mind is like racing and then emotions are very strong. But I'm just like looking at it and not judging myself for not being able not to go with it, maybe like that. And then now, but just by listening to the satsang, I'm just okay, the mind is racing and yeah, all the emotions have felt strong. But then okay, isn't it just like... I feel like I know the answer, but maybe I would like to hear it from you. But like, isn't it just like another thought that is just somehow prolonged? Because whatever I am, whatever is, is just there, you know? It doesn't need any, how to say, or to say that I have this and that. This is maybe... this might sound as a report in some cases, but on another level can be just a thought, if you know what I'm asking.

Yes. There's really no prolonged thought. The thought could be repetitive, you see, but what happens is that even if it is not repetitive, when we buy into any construct, you see, all other constructs are interlinked with that anyway. So if you got into a concept, that's what, if you remember, I call this the tree of conditioning. So you tug at one leaf, it's not like you only get that one leaf, you see; you pull the whole tree of conditions and conditioning. So it can seem like it is more constant than it is, but in reality, it is only Being which is constant. Sorry, and if I can use a nonsensical word like ultimate reality, even Being is not the constant, just Awareness, even with the coming and going of Being. So there's no real prolonged thought, but once any of its cousins, friends, relatives—all of them are related anyway—you pull them in, then they carry the flavor of that one as well. So it could be like a theme, you see, which has been nurtured with belief a lot. So that theme may be contained in every thought relating to that branch of conditioning. In that way, it may seem so long, but actually, it has no life. It just comes and goes.

Yeah, I feel like it is somehow maybe perceived like that, but still then the pull to go with it, to go with the story, is great.

Missing part which we didn't cover in the initial part, which is: so a thought appears, you see. Now what gives it pull? What gives it gravitation or magnetism? Belief that it's me, my story, my problem. Yes. Once you believe the thought, you see, while it is unbelieved, while it is still just walking through the head, how is it that some thoughts don't have pull and others seem to have to response, don't seem to have a resistive response? But if the thought comes and offers an atmosphere, I feel like you're missing the crux of satsang. I don't know, this is a very good question. Something I would say that it's been heard a lot, like a lot to the point that you identify with it. Yeah. So it just feels like that theme which we still give value to, those constructs which we still give value to, they become like the gravitational pull for anything that adds to that theme or that branch, you see. So there's a new offer of a leaf for that. So the Guruji called that interest. So what is this interest? The interest is on the basis of what has been nurtured and therefore then becomes attractive because it seems to give, provide us the nature or the ability to determine the state of things in that particular theme or solutions to things that we have determined are true. So if, for example, we determine our spiritual condition as not being devoted enough or worthy enough, then the mind makes an offer and says, 'If you were just to do this, you see, do 56 sit-ups every morning, then that will make you more devotional.' If it came with the promise of resolving the nature of something that we have conceptually determined to be true about what is, you see, then that seems to be attractive. If it has no relevance to that, then usually what happens is that it's not that attractive, except sometimes when you believe these notions like 'I am bored.' You see, when we get into that kind of ecosystem of belief system that 'I'm bored,' then it's just like, 'Oh, give me what you got.' And it could say, 'Okay, I feel like you should start playing water polo or something,' and just like, 'Yeah, I'm so bored, I can start playing water polo.' So also, maybe you never wanted to play water polo before and there's no interest in it, it could still have an attraction because you made an under-the-construct about something in your life, you see. That's how new interest is developed, otherwise origin will be all empty. So if only those thoughts which were interesting were gravitational or had a pull, then nothing would, because to get interest, it must be nurtured with belief already. But many times we put ourselves in these constructs where we say, 'I'm open to new stuff, new belief system,' because I have determined my condition to be something—bored or not enough, or I need like a relationship or whatever the construct may be. That is when the thoughts, new thoughts which we may not have indulged in the past, become part of our condition, therefore creating new branches to your conditioning. Have you noticed? Excuse me. Otherwise, the conundrum: if belief in thoughts causes interest, then how does the original thought start getting believed? That's why for young people, this notion of 'I am bored' is very popular because that 'bored' makes them open to all new kinds of conditions. So no thought really is prolonged in any way except through this kind of forces of belief systems. Tell me a thought which you could... which could be attractive to believe.

Oh, my favorite for sure is something like, 'My life is so bad and I'm being punished in this life' or something. It's just my favorite for sure.

My life is so bad and I'm being punished. Yeah, but it's very relative, of course. Like, I don't know, it's just like that compared to whom, you know?

Yes, very relative compared to whom.

And also, of course, I have to ask: which is whose life? The witness of the notion itself, you see, and say it's so bad, then you could examine: is it really bad? But I'm just sitting fairly painlessly at this moment, you see. Other people could have the experience of some more pain or some other kind of thing at this point. So one is to look at the relative comparison and examine the belief of 'so bad,' that aspect of it. The other way, of course, is the examination of whose life? Who is the one? Either way, it drops.

Yeah, but it feels like it's like a temporary solution because it keeps coming back.

And who experiences time? The one that's in the mind. Which is the one in the mind? Where is the one? Another... the same mind. The same mind experiencing the time. The mind proposes time, but it's just the thoughts. So it proposes time or interprets things as if it is time, having no actual idea of time. Like, the mind does not even know if the memory is what we may call the past or future. Like, what is the linearity? Which way does it go? It does not even know those things. But it proposes a construct because it is used to the storytelling narrative which includes past, present, future. But the 'I' does not actually experience time because a bundle of thoughts cannot actually experience anything.

Yes. I feel like it's talking to itself.

Just even the one who reacts to the mind, it's not me. It's just a reaction. As consciousness, you do have the ability to give it reality because reality has the power to give a seeming reality to notions. And because you are the real, you have the full power to buy into or give truth value without actually being able to make it true. At least give it truth value as a big seeming or a big sense of, 'It feels like it is like this, it is true like this.' You have the power to do that as consciousness.

Oh yes, I do.

So then satsang is basically reminding you not to. Can you be forced to something?

Sorry?

Can you be forced to believe or identify?

Forced? Of course not. Cannot be forced. It's just something I can't explain. It's just that I believe, that's it. There's no logic in that.

What is a belief? A belief is to take a concept to represent reality accurately. A belief is just a notion accepted as a true lawyer for reality, isn't it?

Yes, but that's what I mean, that some concepts they don't grab you or they just come and just like, 'Oh yeah, yeah,' and some are just like, I don't know, she's like take... so I wouldn't say takes all work, but she's like very alive.

So for most of humanity, most concepts don't have old value because there's...

There's no logic in that. What is a belief? A belief is to take a concept to represent reality accurately. A belief is just a notion accepted as a true layer for reality, isn't it?

Yes, but that's what I mean—that some concepts, they don't grab you, or they just come and go like, 'Oh yeah, yeah.' And some are just like, I don't know, she's like, very alive. So I wouldn't say it takes all work, but she's like very alive.

For most of humanity, most concepts don't have value because there are so many concepts. It's only a small subset of the conceptual framework. That's what I mean; it's ridiculous. It's not believing in one or two that becomes the core of our persona?

Yes. Now, I want you to question this belief that you just believe. You don't know how this... can you show me? Like, allow these thoughts to come and you just believe them. Can you do it and show me? Like, which thought can appear to consciousness and consciousness is just now hostage to it? It just has to believe? No, just nothing. There's nothing. Without a thought, can you trouble yourselves?

Of course not.

Yeah, but I want to say that yes, it's easy now, but it doesn't stay. The classic one, you know, Father, it does not stay like that. Or it divides and it's like, almost like a—not a fight, I would say—but it is all the time, all the time. It does not stay like that.

But what do I stay with you? You're always with me, whether you want it or not.

Yes. Then even when I'm there, these thoughts become so powerful. No, it's something like, I really wanted to bring it here in satsang and not to play with it. You know what I mean? Just like, sometimes it's not there, sometimes it's there, but just something that actually works on me, you know? And it's like, okay, let's look at it.

Yes, it's fair enough. Now, bringing it to satsang is just meant to defang it, de-poison it. So when it is brought out to satsang, it is like an offering that we then let go of. So what happens many times, the mind can sneakily come in, and that's why I started asking the question: Are you bringing it to satsang, and after bringing it to satsang, do you value it or do you not value it? The thought?

Yes, I try not to value it at all at any point. Yes, it's just like, okay, it's one annoying thing. You value silence, silence, silence, but not here in the heart. Like, I don't know how to express it, like this quietness that when Papaji says, 'Keep quiet.' Yeah, this I value more than anything. No, but not conceptually.

Not conceptual, yes. What is the concept that you value?

Well, none of it. None of this. This is just a concept. Yeah, just a poof of air. I don't know.

Yes, not even there. Not even good. Then that's a trouble-free life. You cannot, without valuing a concept—and valuing a concept only means to treat it like a valid representation of what is—because you cannot, as we discussed earlier, even one moment like this, you see, even one moment like this you cannot represent in a concept. Because what is this? You cannot represent it truthfully.

So let's say the want that is there for it not to show up, and for me to be free of it as well, it's just time, just to smoke itself, isn't it?

Yes, yes, yes. In fact, for many of you who've been in satsang long, it is this: to be rid of it itself may be more than it is, or to be rid of it may be the only active part of it. But let's say on a human level, it's like... human level is like basically saying, what is the difference between human and person? Exactly. So don't allow your mind to use a word like 'human' to get back in the gargoyle 'person.' But this thing that 'I don't want it to be there,' yes, it's also a concept. I don't see it so much, but that's the moment. Okay, so investigate: who is the 'I' that doesn't want? So the mind has a trick also which says, 'No, no, not the inquiry.' And many of you may want to look at the construct of things, you see, from the truth value of it and how it applies to the world, while holding on to not having to inquire into the 'who' of it, which is also fine because it falls apart. But the quicker way, and that's why the mind hates it so much, is to really look at 'who.' Okay, let's do a poll. Put your body's hand out, not the Zoom hand. If you prefer to ask 'who' versus looking at the reality of the thought while keeping the construct of 'who' and not having to inquire, you prefer to ask 'who'? It's good. That's good. And we will bring the answer. So when you come up with the problem, I just say 'who.' No, that'll be fine. Don't determine the nature of anything. Not too much work? Yeah, exactly. So don't do that work. How is everything? How is everything? You know, the common greeting in the world asks us to make that determination about our life: 'Hey, how is everything?' I can't say everything. I can't even say about this one hand. If you were to be truthful with the answer like, 'How is everything?' it's too much for my mind to process. And what to tell me, if it's good or bad? Like, I don't have the conceptual capacity to determine the goodness or badness of things. Then we have to tell, 'Okay, give me a minute, I'm going to my intuition,' and the intuition is usually silence. So this may take a while. They're not waiting for the answer to 'How is everything?' you see. But you realize that you cannot struggle or trouble yourself without that determination, you see. And no doership is possible without the trampoline of first judgment about yourselves. What are you going to do right now? What are you going to do? What you're going to say? About what? You see? Are you asking spiritually, or what I want to eat? Or you need a context? And what determines the context of your life? These thoughts. So first we determine that this is my state, it's 99% there, this 1% things bother me. Then the mind offers a solution to that 1%, says, 'Okay, now if you just do this, then you fall off the cliff of freedom and you're finally done,' you see. And those thoughts can seem very attractive, you see. But without that determination of your current state, what thought is attractive? It says, 'Just be open and empty all the time,' no? You see? 'Just be open and empty all the time.' The thought may come and say, but what meaning does it have for you unless you've determined that you have a struggle or problem?

So maybe that's what I mean as well, is something like, I say that I have a belief in some concepts, right? Isn't it as well in itself like creating the problem?

Yes. What if I don't have this problem? I don't believe I'm just going to lie.

You wouldn't have any problem. You cannot have a problem because the thought that 'I have a problem and I need to resolve something' or 'I'm not able to resolve it right now with you and I'm going to have to do this in the future through some hard work and intense looking'—it's just like, wait a minute, it's sending me on such a journey.

Absolutely. Very well spotted. I'm so happy to hear this because the mind will keep proposing that you have a problem, but the one who could have a problem has never been born. So we keep spending—we spend our entire life not living and enjoying life, but solving problems for the non-existent ones and therefore non-existent problems, you see. And where are the problems? Only in our narrative, you see. Where will we solve it? Only in the narrative, you see. What is there in the world to be solved? What should be the next line in your story if you did not have a determination of where you are now?

Nothing, Father. Like nothing, nothing, nothing. Not true? Yeah, really nothing. Like goosebumps nothing.

So don't allow the mind to sell you a story saying, 'Yes, yes, it's okay now, but when Father is not there,' you see? What's going to happen when Father's not there? Always there. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, good.

Hello. Yes. So today I couldn't connect with satsang so much and what has been said. I just cried. But everything for a fact, you know that for a fact. How do you know that? Do you mean that you could not understand anything? I couldn't... no, it doesn't mean I couldn't understand it. It means that I was not interested. It was clear, like the purity of it and not conceptual. The purity and the actuality, the reality of it, just too clear. But I was not interested at all. Like as you said, something was completely in resistance. This 99% doesn't matter.

So that which could be... it doesn't matter for me. Maybe it doesn't for you. No, it doesn't matter for you also. So I'll tell you how. Because the one that could be interested or could not be interested, I'm not interested in that one. I'm interested in your reality, not in your false one. Well, I'm interested... you are interested in that? So stop it. I mean, I'm kind of suffering.

What are you suffering from? Right now, you're suffering? Right now, you're suffering? Are you? You're believing a story or suffering? What are you talking with right now? Now, and show me please. You're smiling too much. Why? Oh, you and suffer cannot be together. Father, when you go, you don't come. Don't worry, but it doesn't go. Come on, let's see you suffer a bit. Too much laughter, too much laughter. Where is this? I want to meet the sufferer. Finally, I've been looking for the sufferer for many years, more than 25 years. Let's see if we can find who is the sufferer. Maybe there is no suffering, but it's obvious suffering.

It's obvious.

Where? Except your head, where? I want it to be obvious.

Well, Father, I live with this head. This is my everyday experience. Not every day, of course, just two weeks' experience, let's say. I mean, it's said, but this is how we experience life, you know? This is how I experience life. It's head or it's in the heart, wherever it is, I don't know. But this is one of my exams.

Nobody has ever experienced suffering. You may experience pain, but suffering is something that you work hard on conceptually. It is not an experience.

Well, maybe it's not suffering, I don't know.

No, it's suffering. I want to see your suffering. 'I am suffering,' you see. So now the entirety of you should suffer. Can I see your suffering? No. Anxiety doesn't suffer. Like the place you have shown, it's just so obvious, it's always here. It doesn't suffer. But I cannot connect with it because I am this. This is just nothing and this is just purity, but I'm here suffering. Like how I experience life, I don't know. Yeah.

So there is no suffering except in your head. And what you're saying is that the head is very attractive to you right now, or are you saying the head is forcing you to be with it?

No, it doesn't have this power.

Yeah, it cannot. But I really connect with it when... okay, when he says, 'You don't have money,' and yeah, I mean, when you say something like this and prove me in actuality in life with experience, I just too much with it. Like, I connect with it.

You use the wrong labels. What you're calling actuality is it? What you're calling actuality is what? How I experience life? Yeah. So you want to talk about the content interpretation? It's not how I explain it. You want to solve it in the interpretation or in reality? In reality, reality is already solved, you see. In reality, absent of desire, it's already solved. Desire is the invitation to suffering. Desire—you want to have desire also and not suffer also? Do you want to have desire also and not suffer also? That is impossible. Yeah, I don't like... it's okay. It's a resistance to what is appearing, isn't it? A desire? Because what is appearing is not enough. Something should either come or go from this blob of appearances, then I'll allow myself to be happy. What is getting in the way of your being right now? So that nothing is what you need to be happy. My Papaji said, 'You need nothing to be happy, you need that nothing that you have.' I don't know, Father. I... okay, I forget. Sorry.

You don't feel like, my dear. You think like. You don't feel like, you think like. So stop thinking like and leave me here. Further, yeah, you are really always here, like background. You are always here. But again, don't hold two hands. If I'm always there, then don't hold two hands. Just hold my hand and don't mind to help you. Don't allow the mind to tell you your experience of life.

You need nothing to be happy. You need that nothing that you have.

I don't know, Father. I okay, I forget. Sorry. You don't feel like, my dear... you think like. You don't feel like, you think like. So to stop thinking like and leave me here further.

Yeah, you are really always here. Like background, you are always here. But again, don't hold two hands. If I'm always there, then don't hold two hands. Just hold my hand and don't allow the mind to tell you your experience of life. Your mind is telling you your experience of life. You are not experiencing life firsthand. It is saying, 'This is your experience.' So, 'In my experience, this is what is happening in my life.' And its interpretation of life is nonsense. So both sides is nonsense. It's like one side is garbage, the other side is also garbage.

Then I don't feel to defend it because when you speak it's too clear. And even in general it's clear. But why, like even right now, who is interpreting what is happening? I didn't understand who is that or not. Who is interpreting or determining the nature of what is happening right now? Even when you speak to me, then this happens. Who is saying that?

The one that I take myself as always. So stop it. No, tell me, can I really do this? It's done now. Don't start again. The truth is just here. That's why I have to win. I have to win because the truth is just here. See, I can just do this. This, finish. The mind has to say, 'But yesterday when this happens, so much work.' And I can just do this. Who's got the easier job? Because the moment is on my side. Then you say, 'But, but Father, what actually I said stops out.' God, God is here. Then the mind comes, egotism comes with the offer saying, 'But this is not enough because it's not always like this.' Yes, it's not always like this because you buy this stuff. It's like saying that I enjoy the cold, I enjoy the cold, but I don't know, I keep walking into these saunas, man. Just like, I don't know, nobody can force you in the sauna. If you enjoy the cold, you know this thing... what if this sauna has this place which has got this steam, really hot? You have these Turkish baths in Turkey. Is this like that hot? Are they hot springs? Okay, yeah. If you enjoy the cold, don't dive in, okay? If you enjoy the presence of God in your heart, don't go to the head.

Yes, Father, of course I enjoyed. And now you're thinking, my dear. I'll see it in your eyes.

Yeah, because I want... no, don't solve here. Stay with me. Come, come, I'm with you. Don't figure out. Don't understand. Stay with me. If you don't see it, but you still can't believe it. If you stop looking at the hand actions and all the truths you know. Hold one hand, either your mind or mine. You can do it. You want something from both? It's not going to work out well.

Yeah, I think I want something from it.

Have you not suffered enough? No, but it's offering just feels so attractive. What is it? What is his offer? I am offering you God right now in your heart. Yeah, but you've got life is not always... life is not always God. What is it? What is its offer? What the mind's offer? Some exciting life? What is it?

Yeah, it's always a dream. It's what? And it offers a dream happiness and obviously just an idea. God cannot give happiness.

Well, it's something beyond. Beyond God? No, there is something beyond. Beyond happiness. The actuality of happiness. There's something beyond. No, I'm not... happiness is a byproduct, you see. It is a byproduct. I am talking about your reality as pure being itself and actually even beyond that as the awareness of this. What can the offer be from the mind that can be greater than that? You see, this is the crunch question for all of you. If you still have something which you want from the personality, from the personal experience as it may be called, you see, and you want God at the same time, then it seems like a roller coaster. You see, it's like you want to hold on to the stuff that you think you have personally and also create more room for God to come. 'I don't want my stuff to go, but I also want God.' Wouldn't that be nice? So, but that is the mental way of living. You leave your head. You can do it. Just leave it. Don't go back. Just okay, I believe it, but there's a little bit... this is the problem. Don't believe it. Don't believe it because belief is in your head, you see. So I'm not fighting with your head. Just leave it. Don't breathe. It has to be silenced a little bit. No, just leave it. You have no problem. Nothing needs to be determined. Nothing needs a solution. Just leave it.

If you promise to take care of it, I will leave it.

No, no. Surrender without guarantees, my dear, is no... but if you say take care of it, maybe you didn't mean it that way, but 'take care of it' means that I already know what taking care would be. No? Or maybe. And if you did not have that notion, then what was that need of that disclaimer? If you can determine that, 'Oh, I gave it to Father, but he made it worse than better,' you see, then that is still from the interpretive mind. If it is Guru Kripa Kevalam, it means everything is taken care. How do we know what is taken care of or not? That is like surrendering with one eye open. 'I am giving it to you, but please do a good job, okay? I am watching.' You see? So surrender is not a cheat code. You know cheat code? You just put it in the game, then all the difficulty goes away from the game. 'But I would like some money, Father. I'd like the best boyfriend, you know. I want the biggest body. And of course, freedom has to come.' Now, all of this is your problem. Is that what surrender is? You see? So for surrender, we must surrender the worship and the experiences. No, it's like, 'I don't want to suffer at least.'

What are you surrendering to me? But I'm sorry, I'm going to see you. I'm okay. I'm surrendering all this desire. Just really, just really answering it because it's just something goes ahead of me. Like, I don't know why they are there, but they have really just such a strength. So they just really understand me and see me on this.

Very good. You did well. Now I wanted to surrender a little more because, you know, I'm quite a greedy master. So I wanted to surrender even more. So you surrendered the desire. Now surrender the desirer also. What you take yourself to be, surrender that one also. The one who can have a desire. Obviously, your desires, surrender that one also. Have nothing to do with that one. No, that one. This one? No, this one. Surrender this one. This 'I'.

Oh, okay. Yeah, happily. Good.

Is my problem. Don't get back. Don't take that one back. Easy. Because I don't know that much so well. I'm not so good to catch it, you know. Like desire, I can see it and I can recognize it, but the desirer I don't know so well. So open, headless. Open and empty. Everything is mine, okay? I have nothing other than trust you. No, not just the witnessing. That's all. Just I cannot comment. Just the witnessing. Not even trust. I don't want your trust. I just want your witnessing. Just remain as the witnessing. That's all. I don't want trust, mistrust, all these opposite things. I don't want nothing. No position at all. Okay? No, are you reporting awareness? No, I just wanted to speak from witnessing place to see the difference between this one space. No reporting is needed. I know what is there in the witnessing clue. Don't hold on to it. Don't hold on to any 'I', any progress, any state, anything. Whether you are getting it or not, none of that. See? So basically, I want something very small. Just everything that appears in the waking state, let that be my problem. Sleep state can be yours. It's fine. You can have that which troubles you and deeps you, that's all. You can have only that which troubles you in deep sleep, that's all. The rest is my problem.

May need to be so because we are always speaking and I always certainly something. But this conversation is just so important for me and I really want to see the actuality of it and just the experience.

Are you still there to want? Give it to me. That one that still wants, give it to me. The one that wants to experience the actuality of it, just give that one to me. What is it still doing there? Didn't you give that one up? Problem is that that nothing is all that you need.

It's just so touching to see every time. Just you give your time for us and thank you so much for your care. Thank you. Today I pray for this a lot and thank you so much.

Okay, let's go to Madalina.

Hello, Father. Hello. Here we have a different report. We are all sick. You look but spirits, so that's good. The spirit is good. Yeah, we are in your grace and Guru Jesus Christ and we are grateful for that. And the awake state, the waking state is good, but the sleeping state is a bit bad because this is when the mind kicks in.

Sleeping state is bad? I've never heard of a deep sleep state which is bad. If you're sleeping or you're not sleeping? If you're not sleeping, then good luck will be there probably. You mean the trying to sleep state?

I'm sleeping. It's the nighttime. Nighttime in the waking state. The nighttime is not there in sleep state. They're only in the waking state. Is there nighttime in sleep state? Wake up. I wake up and start to get concerned about Donna. But during the day I'm good.

So stop it. That's not a good way to wake up. Want to sleep because it's nighttime when I wake up and worry. But leaving that aside, Father, I think open and empty is the key thing and or the prayer or what my heart wants. And if it's day or night, make it no matter. Yes, I have no idea about anything. It's okay and happy to see you after a long period of time. Yes, mangoes are in front of you. They can be perceived. Do you want the mangoes or do you want the stories about mangoes or whatever your favorite fruit is? I just want you at the moment. Not the story, not the mango, sorry. Nothing from what is perceived as for me. Eric, hey, sending all my love, blessings to the healing of your bodies. All three of you are a bit sick at the moment or what happened?

Yes, in different ways. Right, in different ways. Different ways. So yeah, I think Anna is most important of us all because you don't know really what's bothering her. So the blessing for her is most important. Thank you. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Sangha. Love you all. Thank you.

Yes, actually, the questions which I have, I had, are melting away. But you know, there's one thing which I know that it's going to come up after the satsang is that the seeker which wants to fulfill itself through the seeking and through getting what the seeker has been advised from the very beginning. And I'm not talking about the big words of enlightenment, I'm talking about just the feeling of being fulfilled and because of which this journey started. So when you bring us to this presence where you say that, and which is very important, you know, because I keep reminding myself that how can you suffer without a thought? And it is a fact that you cannot suffer without a thought. But then in your... now I'm using the cliche words of day-to-day life, but then you have... you go through your life achieving or doing your duties, but there is no passion, there's no juice in it. And the only juice you expect to get is through... and which I do get is through satsang. So you're still expecting that unfulfilled self of yours needs to be fulfilled through spiritualism or through satsang. So is that also a concept?

Yes. Is it what troubles us is only mental categories? Yes. The minute you cover life into fulfillment and fulfillment, practical day-to-day and satsang, you make these categories. It's asking for trouble, you see. Don't make them. Can you be forced to make them? So there's some a voice which says, 'Leave that voice.' Leave that voice. It has to be left because if you keep going to that voice, I cannot convince your mind. Yeah, I can convince you. I can share with you your truth, but I cannot convince your mind because the mind is the voice of separation. By talking to me, it is not going to change its thoughts.

Practical day-to-day and satsang—if you make these categories, it's asking for trouble, you see. Don't make them. Can you be forced to make them? So, there's some voice which says, "Leave that voice." Leave that voice. It has to be left because if you keep going to that voice, I cannot convince your mind. Yeah, I can convince you. I can share with you your truth, but I cannot convince your mind because the mind is the voice of separation. By talking to me, it is not going to change its thoughts. It will stay the same. Just like by listening to that voice, I will stay the same; by listening to me, that voice will also stay the same. So, the conversation is not between the voice of the mind and the voice of the Master. Whose side are you gonna take?

So, when I'm doing my duties or working, don't categorize your life as duties, working, spiritual. All these categories will only trouble you. I feel like you've been long enough in satsang to meet this now, you see. Otherwise, what can happen is you'll have strategies and tactics for different aspects of life where you don't need those aspects or not. Reality is just like our conceptual understanding of what life is, you see. It's like building, making a representation using Lego blocks and then trying to fix it for those Lego characters. Life is running itself. In your heart, in your intuitive inside, the Satguru presence, there is enough intelligence to run what we call work, enough intelligence to run your spiritual life. All of these categories, your heart doesn't mean it. It is just so. Your mind clamors for structures and concepts with which you get a security blanket, with which you can frame your life and feel like, "I've got all of it sorted out," because this troubles me, you see.

Now, if you become empty of those categories—because life does not have them; life is just a bundle of perceptions. The interpretation of those perceptions into categories is up to you as Consciousness. It is not inherent in your projection of life, you see. Why I am saying to you that you must drop these categories is the minute you take a category, then the mind will propose that there is a problem that you have to solve in each category. "Oh, this is like, this is almost there. Like, my spiritual life is almost there, but a little bit, you know, I have to become more open, something. And my work life is almost there, except this manager gets transferred out." You know, some something like that will happen. But suppose you didn't have those categories? If you didn't have any labels, or at best you just labeled everything "another perception"? You feel a little wobbly because no desires, no targets, no goals. You feel... but the intelligence which is inherent in your divinity of your presence, God's presence is here. The intelligence knows what is the best goal. Can our mind know what is the best goal for us?

You feel like the Being that is operating this life, you see. If you had to pick that one's intelligence which is beating the heart and making this body function versus the mind's intelligence, which would be of no use if you lost the core intelligence of life itself, you see, which one do you trust more? There's no life left without that. So, trust it more in the sense of trust to do even what you think it cannot do. That so-called real world, practical world—let it run that. If the Master—at least what you see of the Master—you see that a body walks into satsang and then the mouth starts speaking, and the report is that there is no concept about what is being shared or no need to think and understand. Just words are coming out and they're being heard here as they're being heard there. If this process can happen without conceptual knowledge, then why can't the rest of life be done? Is God saying, "I'm done with the rest of the so-called practical life, but I'm good for satsang"? Is God saying that?

What is the problem? The problem is not that wobbliness does come, but the bigger problem is that we are scared to give up on all our desires. So, suppose you handed it over to God. If you still have an expectation that after my surrender only that should happen, you see... and suppose, like, you know, and everybody gets this right. Even Guruji had this where he said his mind would trouble him by saying, "If you keep going like this, you'll become a hunchback beggar on the streets of Brixton. You'll become Quasimodo or something." What is that? That's a representation of what outcomes are good and bad that we still hold on to. And then our surrender becomes very meek. See, then our surrender just becomes a tactic because you're holding on to the outcomes, you see. "I at least want to have this much money. I at least want, you know, this relationship. I at least want the body to be like this, and definitely I want freedom also," you see. So, in all four aspects, the variables of life, we keep an eye on the outcome and then surrender just becomes another attempt to come to that outcome. And therefore, it becomes a very convenient surrender. But who can surrender saying, "Whatever may come"? Here the surrender is like that: whatever can come.

And I feel that I'm drawn towards... after working for so many years, I just wanted to... I'm drawn towards getting close to nature because I've been staying here for quite a number of years and just wanted that. Is that also something, you know, a desire which I need to witness and overcome or just leave?

Just clear it. Let your life be gone. It already is. So, to then superimpose and project that "I want to be closer to nature, I have worked enough"—all those are still mental characters. God knows what's best. What are we providing, these like subtle guidances? Are these prompts to God saying, "Hey, how many years now working?" It's like the supreme intelligence doesn't know. And what happens is actually you become so open, so open without these concepts about where life should go. God is here now. Is God waiting for nature to be there with you as your very presence? So, nature and all that is also a category. There is no place where God is amplified or diminished. God is your very divinity. It's your very presence. You will bring the God wherever you may go.

What can I do to be in satsang all the time? Be open and empty. Neither this nor that. No category, no preferences, nothing. Just allow it to unfold. And by the way, I'm speaking of your inner position, inner attitude. Outwardly, you could still be in a work meeting saying, "I want this done by tomorrow." You know, all that can move. It's fine. But inwardly, be open and empty and don't judge this body as if it is you, and others as if they are others. And then you can report back to me in satsang or on message or something if you feel like, "I became open and empty and then my body just became like a vegetable." It didn't. So, it's like we've been carrying an additional burden which we don't need to carry. It is the burden of our conceptual theorization about what this is, which uses these categories and tactics and attempts of conceptual understanding. All of that, just be empty. Okay, quickly, quickly, let's go to Shelves.

I just wanted to say hi and just like that. How is everything?

Good, Father. Good, good, good. Enjoying. There are some challenges also, but it's fine. This is where you are in plan to stay here till July next year, then I'll be back. Okay. I just feel some... I mean, I was just listening to a recording and it suddenly struck me as so strange that we talk about the mind so much. Yeah, just the word mind, because in usual conversation it's like that's just something I just... yeah, Verona, it's like gone completely. Father, you're fine now. You look very healthy.

Yeah, I feel good. The body feels quite light and okay. Yes, we've been keeping well. All this good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been fun. I just wanted to say hi.

Hi. Take care, Father. Very convenient not to have to leave satsang and go have a smoke and... yeah. Hey, but you blessed me, Father, and now it's like come really come down. Smoking and all that, it's come down a lot. Okay, let's go to Satyam.

I'm in the middle of... this is another... this is a challenging... how to say? I'm doing something practical, but your satsang is also on. Oliver is here, has been with Moojiji. Hey, another giveaway. So, I am in... I was in India, but now I'm in Denmark. Oh, I see. Yeah. And it's making me cry because I was there, but I could not come physically to see her. Okay. But I think my mind trip was because I wanted to go away from Denmark and the money was finishing. So, and the power of Maya, whatever you want to call it, it just overtook and then I had to sort this out and come to Denmark to be able to come to India. Like my trip... right now I'm not being very spiritual about perceiver, I'm just talking about my circumstantial life.

Yes, yeah. Full, full blessings to you. And of course, you are aware that of course it'd be fun to have you here in Bangalore, but more importantly to recognize the divinity in your own heart.

You know, I've been listening to you today. Of course, there's a... it's important to be in this vibration. But you know, the mind is going like... I can see it's throwing like, "Transform, you will be punished," and all sorts of this. "You have been there and you did not come to..." and this is like all these thoughts are coming. But I'm just watching.

Let it speak. What can I do? How do you speak them out? Just leave all value attached to them. Yeah, usually what happens in the world is when we speak something out, we become more attached to that position. Somebody says, "No, you're wrong." "Of course I'm right, I'll prove to you." So that becomes more truth value when it's spoken something in the world. But in satsang, as you're exposing especially these things which the mind is telling you, as you expose them, let all the attachment to that drop. That is to surrender it. That is the power of exposing in satsang.

Yeah, it has been like thoughts like, "You have been to India and you idiot, you did not take the advantage of being physically present." And those... because that spiritual side of the person is like, it's full of... it's loaded with a lot of charge and guilt and all that. So I'm putting it out, you know, I'm just putting it out right now.

The one that reads our heart, the one that meets this body's heart, is the one that moves every atom of this universe. So all credit and blame goes to that. Yeah, yeah. Nothing else to really say, but it's just you're in my heart always, you know.

It is. Yeah, I'm not prepared what I'm saying now, but I feel you in my heart. And of course, the spiritual side of however you wanna... this effort to see it and to experience that, and this goes on. And I can see that this goes on. I'm not even doing that, but just go backwards.

Like I was telling Raman before you, that all these categories, just leave them. Let life unfold in the light of Consciousness as it is doing. Then only takes away the true taste of it. It just makes it very primitive. It just makes it very tactical and you know... so don't categorize anything. Don't worry. And Oliver has been big help. Like, we come together and our presence is in his heart and it feels like, you know, vibrates in the same soul. So we have this sangha here in Denmark. So he's a part of that sangha and we come together sometimes.

Full, full love to you. Full love. Belong to your son. Thank you. Thank you so much. I won't cry now. You're going to break our tradition.

Would you like to get back? Desire is still in my heart to go back to India and this is a long-time desire. So, I already arranged the financial situation. I went to England to pick some money from there and I was working there and it seems to be now could be of right... I just would like to ask you about your opinion or if you would accept me for a while to see you sometime in the future.

Very happy, very happy. Your home is waiting for you. You're very welcome to come. Very happy. Except I may be traveling in the last week of September and...

In my heart, to go back to India, and this is a long-time desire. So I already arranged the financial situation. I went to England to pick some money from there and I was working there and it seems to be now could be right. I just would like to ask you about your opinion or if you would accept me for a while to see you sometime in the future.

Very happy, very happy. Your home is waiting for you. You're very welcome to come. Very happy. Except I may be traveling in the last week of September and possibly the first week of October. Except those ten, twelve days, yes, I feel like I'll be here in Bangalore. So you're very ready.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I actually, I will have a small operation in August and I have to recover. It's nothing so serious, things and something about my skin to take it off, so it's not a big issue. And then after, I was planning about October or November, something like this. So I just wanted to know if you would be here anytime after 4th or 5th October.

I should be here throughout October, November.

Thank you so much. I'm very happy to hear. I love you.

Good. Let's go to TV. Look at that.

Hello, can you hear me? You know that a partner had recorded this video in the Indian accent saying, 'My wife or partner has a guru and he just keeps smiling.' You still remember that? So sorry it's taken me so long to get here. We've, you know, I moved in with this guy and life changed quite a bit and internet problems and all that good stuff. And so now, you know, he had a very good imitation of me anyway, so I was there with you. Well, he's actually gotten a lot calmer too, so that's good. So the internet's working again, but now to be here with you live, I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning. So in America, yes, yes, yes. So I just, I'm with you. It doesn't feel like that's, you know, it was 2016 I think when I was there, and it doesn't feel at all like that much time has passed.

Yeah, it's just a blink. It's just really a blink.

And unfortunately, this satsang today is perfect for my situation because my daughter—I don't think you've been on Heart Altar yet—but my daughter is missing. She's been missing for three weeks. I just found out, yeah, I just found out a couple days ago. And so I haven't logged into Facebook for many days now. Well, this beautiful Sangha that we have, this family, I put it on there and they've just, you know, put their arms around me as usual. So I love you all and thank you all. The interesting thing is that, Father, I am watching this all happen. Yes, the emotions come, activity happens. I'm out, I've got her on the news, I've done all these things to try to find her. But at the same time, there's just this watching of it too at the same time. So it's almost like a double life, but I'm aware that the activity life is not really who... I don't know how to put it into words. But I only cry because you're here in front of me and I always cry when I talk to you. So I just, I need... and I put her at your feet already and I've left her there. And I knew this day was coming, but now that it's here, I just need, I guess, prayers for her and an understanding of how to deal with that now so that the identification doesn't come back in, but yet I still handle the situation. It's going to be dealt with the way it's supposed to be dealt with. I'm sure life just happens, but the emotions are really in and out and strong, and at the same time I'm just watching it. So I don't... you know, do you know what I'm saying?

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm sending so much love, so much love. Blessings. Guruji's grace take care of this situation. For all my lovers, all my blessings with this child as well. I feel like also saying that if some of you go to Heart Altar and there's a message like this, just let me know and log in. And they do so, so soulfully.

Thank you, Father. Thank you, thank you, Sangha. Thank you.

All of us are sending all our love and blessings to all of you.

Thank you. I'll let you know if I, when I get an update.

Yes. Somebody from the Sangha here can give you my number as well. And if you have something like WhatsApp or we can call on FaceTime or something, if you ever want to speak, I'm there.

Thank you, Father. I appreciate that. Okay, I love you.

Thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Love you.