When What You Are Is Apparent to You, You Are With Your Intuition - 15th July 2022

Yes, yes.

Everything perceivable, everything that has size, shape, color, time—everything perceivable is the perception. Everything that you may say you get through your senses, get through your attention, is a perception and therefore phenomenon. How do we come to that which is beyond all this perception? And Vedanta tells us that everything that is perceived, it comes and goes and therefore is unreal, therefore is unreal. So this unperceivable reality which is beyond time and space, we come to satsang, we come to hear the voice of our own inner Satguru, to hear that, to be clear about it, to come to the discovery of that which is beyond all of this. So a simple question we could ask is: who is witnessing all of this? That which is witnessing or perceiving all of the perceptions, who is that one?

I am. I'm perceiving it.

You're perceiving it, and yet this 'I' that is perceiving it, or which is aware of the perception of it, cannot be, isn't it? Can that be perceived?

No, it can't. It can't be perceived.

So now, where did you go to make this discovery that it is 'I' that is aware?

It's right here.

Exactly. And yet it is beyond the mind, isn't it? It is not a mental illusion; it's not a mental conclusion at all.

Exactly, exactly. So simple, easy, simple, simple and simple, simpler than simple.

Exactly. So when we start the conversation or the journey, it may seem like there's a long set of steps I will have to take to go beyond the mind, and yet just the simple recognition of 'I' is beyond the mind. Who is aware of the perception of this voice right now? It is you, you see? It is you. And again, this 'you' is not perceivable. So how did you find this 'I'? It's not tangible, right? It's not anything tangible. It's not something with the quality, with the shape, size—none of this, is it? And this is your discovery because you don't doubt this discovery. You don't say 'Who is that?' unless you're, you know, you're too spiritual in your head. You don't say 'Who is that hearing this voice?' Everybody is clear it is 'I', and nobody has ever met this 'I', perceived this 'I', you see? And here it is apparent, you see. Now the only struggle is that the mind says, 'But I didn't find anything. What did you find? I didn't find.' How can I prove that I found this 'I'? It cannot prove because for proof you need a quality, you need a shape, you need a size. Then the mind will come and say, 'Okay, so then what's the use of it? If it doesn't have a quality, shape, or size, what's the use of it?' You see, that's a nonsensical question because of use to whom? You're discovering yourself. You're not discovering yourself so you can be of use to the false one, you see? That's an important point also. So what happens is that because of our spiritual conditioning, we may feel like I'm looking for that which is beyond the mind or I'm looking for myself so that then I can be happy. But which 'I' do you want to make happy? If you haven't even found yourself, then which 'I' do you want to make happy, you see? And once you do find yourself, the one that is aware, does that one want happiness? Is it desirous of anything? It itself is the source of all things. Desire is an alien concept for that. So the discovery of the truth is that's important, but when burdened with expectations and conditions from the false identity, then it can seem like a journey, it can seem like a project. So I'm going to trouble everyone again with this hand thing. So, are you aware of the perception of this hand? You see? Is there any doubt that it is you? No. Did you go—do you have to think to be clear about this, that it is you? Therefore you are already discovering yourself beyond the mind, you see? Now you see, in this discovery, the only thing that gets in the way is that if you haven't gotten over yourselves, your false self. If you haven't gotten away of all selves, then that one will want to make something out of it. You want to say, 'Am I enlightened now? Have I got this? Can I stay like this? It happens to me only when I'm in satsang.' You see? So then this 'me' is the one you have to get over. It doesn't exist, this false one; it doesn't exist. The only true one is what you are discovering now. You are having a very clear insight. Your insight is undoubtable. Are you aware now? Those who are unaware of this question, raise your hand. If you are unaware of the question, raise your hand. You are aware. You are aware. You are perceiving this voice. You are aware now. This 'you' are nowhere. Are there two over there? Are there two over there? You see? So you are making this discovery through what instrument, that they are not two, that it is all one, Advaita, non-duality? Through what instrument are we making that discovery? So that no instrument, that no thing, is intuition, you see? Why does it feel like it's no instrument? I keep saying intuition, intuition, you see? And yet when you look, it feels like where's the intuition? It just is, you see? So by definition, intuition is that which needs no mechanics, which means no process, needs no steps. And that is why, because we're so used to steps, we're used to mechanics—this therefore that, and therefore like this, and then I get there and then I go over there—because we're used to those steps, when we come to this pristine discovery without having to put any effort, it can feel like it's not an instrument. There is no instrument there. But that is the intelligence of your intuition itself. That is the intelligence of yourself, the primal intelligence called intuition. And you can live with this. You don't need any other source of understanding or knowledge. In fact, this is the higher. This is the higher. The mind is just a storyteller; it doesn't offer any true intelligence. Everything that the mind concocts is based on this itself. So how do you know that you're being intuitive? How can you say for certain? Because the mind can also pretend to be intuition, you see? Everyone for a moment, the mind can also sound like the Master's voice. It can also pretend to sound intuitive. 'Yes, you must love everyone.' Intuition can also say that, of course. But many times if the mind feels like it is under attack, then just like a jilted lover who's trying to get back in the relationship and say, 'I'll change for you. What do you want? You want spiritual? I can be spiritual.' So it can put on those poses. But you don't need any of that knowledge. What you need to understand, whatever intelligence you need, is already apparent to you as you are open and empty. As you are open and empty, you are aware that you are aware. You are aware that it is you that is aware of perception. If you add a step, if you try to understand, if you try to evaluate, you've gone in the wrong direction. So retreat from that. Retreat from there. That is not going to get you anything. So how do you know that you are with your intuition? When it is apparent to you what you are. When what you are is apparent to you, you are with your intuition. Who's having trouble with this? Is it apparent to you what you are? No peer pressure, not because I'm asking authoritatively. It's apparent. So that is the end of all problems, firstly, because unless that one has a problem, you don't have a problem. And I've never met one, that one, the same one with a problem, you see? Myself with a problem I have never met. So that is the end of problem, suffering, time, space, object, the objective attachment to things in this universe—all of this. And this is the end of that, unless you're trying to juggle. Are you trying to juggle your faults and the truth? So don't stop juggling—stop it. You can do it. Stop. Then in fact, the moment does it for you. In fact, the moment does it for you. How does one ask, how does one come to know that it is apparent? You can't help it for it to be apparent. That 'you' which is aware of hearing right now—you're hearing these words, you're seeing the sight in front of you, you're feeling the feeling, you see? You're experiencing the touch. You're aware of all of this. It is you that is aware. So this is apparent to everyone. It is universal knowledge. But because it cannot be contained in the mind, you can feel like, 'I don't know it yet.' Who is that 'I'? Who is that, you see? But in reality, you have no trouble with it. If the doorbell rings in your house, you see, you're not going to say, 'Who's hearing that door?' especially if you're expecting an important package. And it's true that at the level of evaluation and judgment, you don't know and don't ever expect to know. Okay, this is very important, so we'll take a few minutes on this. There where you don't know, there where you don't know, you will never know. Okay? So is there a part of you that doesn't know who you are? Is there a part of you that doesn't know who you are? You see, that is the mental aspect. The mental aspect of your being, you will never know there, you see? This one is too big to fit into the room of the mind. Won't get through the door, you see? The Self is too big to squeeze in through the door of your mind. Okay? So if there is an aspect of you that is shouting, screaming, throwing a tantrum, maybe passive-aggressive, whatever way, saying 'I don't know, but I still don't know,' that part of you will never know. That is the end of the journey. And the only part of you that knows itself always knows itself. So self-realization is only a switch of instrument and not something new. So you've been using a paddle to drive your car; you just have to switch to the steering wheel. That's it. You can't paddle your way through on the road; no matter how hard you paddle, it's just not going to work. Okay? So all of you recognize the aspect of yourself that doesn't know the Self. Can you all do it? Can you humor me and raise your body's hand? Yes, you recognize that aspect. Okay, now promise me that you understand that it cannot be known in that aspect of yourself. It cannot be gotten over there; it cannot be understood over there, you see? You can understand that you can never understand. That is the highest you can understand. Yes? Okay. Now, are you aware now? Yes. So you know yourself. That aspect, you can't spot it like the mind. The mind you can spot as a—it's a thought. Is it a thought? Ah, there's the mind. But this 'are you aware now?'—where does that knowledge come from? You can't spot it. Your mind comes, 'But...' and yet it is apparent to you. So this you can never lose. You always have it. And with this instrument, you are never lost. So live from here. That is to live in no-mind. In fact, when you are in no-mind, you live from here. And you live from here, there is no one either way. So are you being intuitive right now? How to confirm? If what you are is apparent to you, you're being intuitive. Have you—are you being mental? How to spot if you're being mental? And by mental, I mean going to the projection of the mind, believing the projection of the mind. How to spot? And another way of saying that is if you're believing a thought.

So live from here, that is to live in no-mind. In fact, when you are in no-mind, you live from here. And you live from here, there is no one either way. So, are you being intuitive right now? How to confirm if what you are is apparent to you? Being intuitive, have you... are you being mental? How to spot if you're being mental? And by mental, I mean going to the projection of the mind, believing the projection of the mind. How to spot? And another way of saying that is if you're believing a thought. Another way of saying that is process. Process is very good. What else? Another way of saying that is you have a story, you see? So all of these are symptoms of being mental. Like, if you can narrate a story and take that to be true, then you're not being intuitive; you're constructing conceptually. Okay, so now recognition is apparent. And how? Because when the mind still screams and says, 'How do I be? How do I exist now? How to live now?' Live in your heart. Once it's suffering, how do you know when you're being mental? Yes, suffering. Yes, suffering is a trickster actually, because sometimes you can have the delusion of winning, you see, for a short period of time. You see, sometimes we feel so good being right, you know? It's so good, like, 'I don't care about the truth, I just want to know that I'm right.' So that can give us a momentary feeling of some winning, you know? I feel good, I'm so right. But it doesn't last long. So you're right, suffering is definitely a byproduct. Grasping to put ways into the... the grasping is mental, and not grasping is no-mind.

Now, okay, let's try the experiment the other way. In no-mind, are you lost? There's no mind. You need the mind, you are lost; otherwise, how will you know what to do? Are you lost without the mind? Not lost. In fact, many report that they are found. Everything is just fine. These are the kind of reports that come. Now, what could be missing? What could be missing? Believing the thought that something is missing. Believing the thought that I can make something better. Believing anything, even the thought of grasping this what you are discovering now. So, is the distinction between being mental and being intuitive clear now? Apparent? Is it a struggle? How many are struggling with this? One hand I see. Okay, well, let me scroll through. Struggling? Okay, let's go to Lisa for a moment again.

So, are you aware now?

I am aware now.

Okay, I can sense the 'but' coming slowly, slowly. So, this 'I' that is aware, this 'I' that is aware, are you perceiving it?

No, not perceiving it.

Are you thinking it?

No.

So already you are discovering something which is beyond perception and beyond mind, isn't it so? And you call that 'I'. You're not even saying, 'Oh, that one.' You say, 'I am aware,' you see? So both the knowledge that it is awareness and that it is you are already with you without having to think or perceive.

Yes, yes.

I'm sort of loyaling her 'yes' and 'no' answers, please. So, no, I'm just... I'm only doing that so that I know the mind will want to participate in our party, you know? But we are having a beautiful time without the mind, so we don't have to necessarily include it. So far, no trouble. Very good. Now, here where it is apparent that it is you that is aware and that there is no distinction between 'I' and aware, now just here, is there any trouble? Is there anything confusing? Is there any trouble of any sort? What is it? What is the complaint from the mind?

There is pressure.

Okay, elaborate on that word. How do you mean pressure?

It is... it's better now.

Yes. Okay. Now, there's an aspect of you—not the entirety of you—there's an aspect of you which evaluates things. It says, 'This is not good. This should go. In the going of that is better. The increasing of that is worse.' All of that. You recognize that aspect?

Yes.

You see? Now, don't rely on that for any truth. Rely on that just for comedy. If you are going to rely on that, don't rely on it for any truth; only rely on it for comedy. Just like a free comedian in your head. And if you look at everything, you will see the comedy in it. It is proposing to you that you, that is awareness—you that is awareness in which the universe is born, in which the universe takes shape and then dissolves—that awareness is being obstructed or constricted in some way with some little phenomena moving here and there. Isn't that comedy? Exactly. It's hilarious. So what do you have to take yourself to be to be troubled by phenomena? Yes. So don't do that, you see? You know how not to do that now. All of you know how not to do that now. That's why these days I've just been saying: stop it. Okay, so tell me now, what is not clear?

Now I can... there is still not identification with the false. Is that an evaluation?

Okay, let me say something. All your evaluations are not true. The mind will want to know why are they not true, you see? If you can just accept they're not true, then life's easier. But if you insist on why, then I will say that that 'you' that is being proposed in those evaluations doesn't actually exist. And secondly, the story or the narrative of the evaluation doesn't ever have the full picture. Can you tell me right now what this is the full picture of? What this is right now? Cannot do it. Cannot do it because the bucket is too small to hold the ocean. It may take a perception or two here and there, but what is this even perceptually? Even what you are perceiving right now, what is this? Cannot fathom the entirety of one moment of perception, and yet it loves to narrate our whole lifestyle. That's why it's a comedy. What is this? Before you can tell me anything else about the past and future, tell me what this is right now. This. What is this? What is? Can't do it. So if you can't do it for a moment, why do it over time? Imagine the kind of nonsense you must be buying about what this is instead of meeting this. See, this is absolutely the suffering of the human condition. So allow perceptions to remain as perceptions. Your interpretation and judgment is not helping anything, you see? So if you cannot define what this is, you cannot define what this is, you see? You're in big trouble because that is the mind's main move. That is the mind's main move. Without that, you can't decide what to do. What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do then? What are you gonna do, all of you? What are you gonna do? To be able to determine what to do, first you have to determine the current state of something. What is this? You will say about, 'What are you going to do? I'm going to be open and empty.' So then you would have determined yourself to be what in that? Even in that, you would have determined yourself to be what? Not open and empty and person-like. 'I am going to be.' You're not speaking about awareness anymore. So without these mind attempts to grasp that reality and confirm them through your being and say that 'this is what is happening to me, this is what is happening to the world,' is the end of the worship, is the end of duality. Do you want to hold a thought and the truth? Something that you're super right about and the truth? Like super right that 'I am really like this,' whatever that fill-in-the-blanks with 'like this.' 'I am really like this, undoubtable. I am like this. I am so truthful, so...' whatever you fill the blanks with. And what you're discovering: are you aware now? This awareness. You want to hold on to both? It'll seem like you're getting stretched. It will seem like you're getting stretched because you cannot hold on to the false and truth at the same time. You see this very often earlier: you can't keep one foot on the ground and then board the aeroplane and fly over. So if that is your idea of balance—that somebody's idea of balance keeps the right perspective between life and spirituality, you see all of this stuff—then you better throw it. Because your intuition, your truth, your Self doesn't need to be balanced. It is itself balancing all of this. All of this is balancing on what? Day goes, night comes, everything alternates. Who is doing all of that healing and stuff? So that balance is already there. There's nothing more you can bring to it. So don't allow these words which sound very humble but actually become the refuge for the mind to hide. 'I'm just trying to balance between my work life and my spiritual life.' Who are you to balance? If the one that is shining all of this life went away, what is work and what is... just let go. Let go, it'll be fine. It is natural for your fear to come, but don't fear the fear. Just let go. Okay, but we started with the question of the struggle between or the confusion between intuition and mind. So now I've given you a tip saying where it is apparent to you who you are, stay with that, which is the same as saying stay in no-mind. Stay in the heart, stay open and empty, stay in your motionless existence. How many different ways? So are you waiting for something to go away? If you keep waiting for something to go away or to appear, then you're falling into the mind trap saying that what is appearing is not perfect as it is. The director of this movie is perfect and its creation is always perfect. I don't like to use the word perfect, but just provisionally trust it. Inwardly always remain open, empty. Many hear 'open and empty' as if I'm proclaiming some sort of passivity externally. So I'm not doing that. Externally you could be full of movement and action or completely still or living in a cave or, you know, got a full-time job. It doesn't matter. Inwardly nothing can stop you from being open. Nothing. Especially not 'my mind says.' But 'my mind,' that idea itself is the mind, you see? The mind itself says you'll be done in mano nasha. It means the dissolution of the mind, you see? Bhagwan said so when mano nasha happens. So this is the classical thief dressed up as the policeman saying, 'But he's still there!' Yes, you are it. So see through these tricks. See through these tricks. Every idea, every thought is the thought. Every idea. So it's important to see through this because sometimes it can feel like it's a thought, but this is the way the mind tries to be your friend. All this talk of God and oneness is fine. Notice your mind trying to grab the opportunity to claim personhood in the guise of a better label. Very good. Thank you. Thank you. Who should we go to? Let's go to Shabnam.

Namaste. Yeah, this is just a really brief share. I'm just noticing, and I wanted to share it with you, that the expression of life is so different from the conditioned ideas of how this expression was going to be. And there's kind of a moment-to-moment sort of surprise a little bit that... an example like conditioning, and it's still there, but it's so much more in the background. Used to be like super nice, very pleasing, and you know, I have the image of Guruji saying how the ego can hide behind this too, you know, very... and there's sort of a strength that's very clear. And I... this isn't to say it's another identity, but it's... it just moves so differently and it's such a relief, you know? Everything feels easier and I just... I just felt to share it with you. And I feel so much closer to you and to the sangha, to everything, because there isn't... I'm not sort of hiding behind the shishya mentality. It's just like, here, we're just here. And there's a difference in how that flows in the world of experience. There's a difference in how I relate to people, people... you know, everything feels really different and very... a very different sensibility from sort of the old ways of the personality. And it's lovely. I'm really enjoying it. I just wanted to share that. And it's a bit of a... you know, it's a surprise that life... I think there was like some spiritual ideas about how life moves or how to be, and there's just no patience for any of that nonsense anymore.

Very good. That's excellent. Thank you. Thank you. But the mind is constantly giving us proposals for how to be, but being needs no help. A being needs no help. And in a way, what you also said is that if you just look at life versus look at the storybook version of life, it's two completely different things, you see? You can have an expectation of where the storybook...

I think there was like some spiritual ideas about how life moves or how to be and um there's just no patience for any of that nonsense anymore.

Very good. That's excellent. Thank you, thank you. But the mind is constantly giving us proposals for how to be, but being needs no help. A being needs no help. And in a way, what you also said is that if you just look at life versus look at the storybook version of life, it's two completely different things, you see. You can have an expectation of where the storybook is going to go, how I'm going to be like a disciple, you see, how am I going to talk to the Guru and you know, how should the Sangha perceive me and all of that stuff. There can be like books and books written about how to be a good disciple, you see. But your being doesn't need that help. Your being doesn't need that help. So you can still throw away all the instruction manuals to life and every aspect of life and you see the super intelligent being is just there. It's just that. It's just unfolding every moment. So beautiful.

So if you compare the storybook version of what life is or what it should have been like or even what it was like—importantly, because many of us have a story about what our life has been like—it has nothing to do with you, okay? It has nothing to do with you. Some of you may not like what I'm saying at this moment because you may be wanting to be right about something that is true about your life. But really, what is in your storybook about your life? Who does it belong to? You see, 'It was my experience.' Whose? 'It is my life.' Whose? So, past: forget about it. Present: you cannot decipher conceptually. Future: no chance. The delusion of time is clearly seen to be notional and we let go of all of that. Let go of all of that.

And this is what I was saying, that sometimes we want to be so right about something that we are willing to give up the truth. Be willing to give up the truth of what you are discovering about yourself. And the only truth about yourself, the unchanging truth about yourself, is that nothing in this apparent world has ever touched you. It has only been an appearance. When we say appearance, means what? All we all can admit all of this is an appearance. Appearance means what? What is the distinction between appearance and reality? It comes and goes and therefore it's not real. And real means—why do we say appearance? Is it just when we want to sound spiritual? Appearance actually means that if we are really admitting that all of this is just an appearance, you see, then this appearance cannot touch us. Cannot touch your reality.

So I keep saying: what can come and make a dent on you, on yourself, on your reality? Make a scratch, a tiny mark? What can do it? See, so I need to be right about something in our story is just our grasping for some identity or some identity. Nice. So just live without the story.

Thank you, Ananta Ji. I just wanted to add that the momentum of the spiritual seeker, my god, it just... I was going to say what a waste of time. Nothing's a waste of time, but this isn't spiritual. Yes, it's just... I mean, the expressions are beautiful at heart. I love all my altar, I love to go to Tiruvannamalai, I love being with you in this way. It's just a natural expression. But it used to be like primary—do you want to say primarily? Yeah, but there was a striving involved. It wasn't just... this isn't spiritual, it just is. There's no distinction to it. And I think something was really hiding out in being good and just a whole identity around it, you know? And it's such a relief to just drop all that and I'm just so grateful. Thank you.

Thank you. The section that we want to hold on to in our storybook... okay, first, what will you use? Right? And how far will you carry that being right? How long will the righteousness survive? But the truth is timeless. So if you side with the truth, then it's over now. If you keep waiting for resolutions in the storybook, everything to become more happy ending, that is how lifetimes get created. Not that there is anything wrong with life. What is the storybook section that you can't throw? That one? We'll try to find a way around, but that is truly... what are you, in the words of Byron Katie, without that story?

You mightn't hear from me now, I have a bit of a cough. Ah, really? Yeah. Good to see you. Yeah, no, it's great to be back. I was not able to join because I was... this is a story, I know... and I got COVID and was sent home and was able to join that thing as a result. Yeah, so I don't know anything. And as you say, when I recognize that the mind never knows, and the knowing of the Self is knowing beyond something that can be understood by the mind, but there is a real peace in that and completeness of fullness. And yeah, I just find more and more drawn to that. And yeah, there seems to be letting go and offering into the fire of the need to know what the mind wants to know. Yeah, and more recognition of what is just spiritual ego, spiritual self-righteousness. Yeah, and that's why I raised my hand at the beginning, because I noticed this reaction coming, this spirit of righteousness, and I thought, you know, offer that maybe.

Yeah. Oh, thank you. What is your intuition saying now?

It's not saying any words. It's a completeness that I was talking about. It's that nothing needs to happen to change, to be different, to... there's nothing lacking. There's no problems, there's no solution, there's no... and the thought wants to come, but you know, it's not something blah blah blah. But when you just kind of go back to... yeah, exactly. So that's the mind that never understands, could never know, can never fully grasp the reality of reality, the truth or anything like that. So that was brilliant. That was when you said that, that was something that really... it's a great tool.

Yeah. Yeah. All the world blessings to your body quickly. Thank you. Thank you. Blessing to everybody on that thing and all the ways that life plays as people who reflect the truth and to open up these doorways, these insights, and to yeah, just the whole fireworks of life, the whole dance of life. Thank you. Okay, next can we go to Shriram and Joanna?

Hello. I raised up my hand. Yes. I don't have an exact question, but Joanna is going through really strong things. I don't know how otherwise to say it. And it's very repetitive. I mean, same things. And it seems no matter what is said, what happened, it just comes again. Like for her, it's like new seems each time. It's like a repetitive pattern. And every time it comes, it feels like, 'But this is so true, it's so real, it's so scary, it's so possible.' It's like I can write a book of those stories.

I like that. But also I want to see what's happening with her right now.

Yeah, there is like something repetitive, but also I don't feel that reactions are the same afterwards for the same length of time. And but yet the same kind of things are still getting attention. And I yeah, I know there's something as well with this. So the mind has like some kind of issue, like an OCD, you know, like a mental issue. And is this why I'm struggling so much from my... from the way I see things?

And from what I've noticed with your messages and things have not been super responsive, but from what I notice, it seems like there's so much maturity, there's so much growth that I see in you compared to when you first came. Of course, when you live with each other and you know, you constantly have to be with each other, the experience can be slightly different. So I'm sure from on both sides. But at least from a broader perspective, I can see that how many insights you have now. Much of what is being pointed to in satsang, which started off as—and correct me if I'm wrong—but when you first came to satsang, it just sounded like alien language. Now so much of it seems so much more coming from the heart, relatable. You've seen through a lot of these things. And yet, yeah, whatever you may call the condition or whatever, this may come from time to time. But I don't feel like, although it may seem like it is true and real and new, I don't feel like it can carry the same sort of strength and momentum that you did in the past. Although if you're in the midst of it right now, it may seem like, 'Oh, it's the same, it's maybe it's worse,' or something like this. But just from whatever I have seen over the last year or so.

Yeah, it's still daily. It's still every day in some way. There's something like almost like this obsession with like trying to stay, stay, stay, stay, stay. And I don't know if it's putting a lot on Shriram as well, but it's just using everything you say, satsang things, it's useless. I mean, everything against... it's just, I don't know.

Yes. The mind itself takes the spiritual knowledge and uses that to oppress. Is that what you mean? So let's see. Go ahead.

I just wanted to see about this. But even this like 'stay' or like some that pointing which is so simple it seems, and it's at some point something happens here, I don't know, and you just use this like... yes, yes. And she's so sincere, so honest. It's kind of... yeah. But it seems as well there's something with like relationship and being in a relationship. There's, I don't know, a lot of identity in that. And so like it sometimes seems very difficult just to... I know the difference when we are together and it's just here, and also with the mind and the difference in that. And the mind with its likes and dislikes, opinions, judgments, and wants this thing was really like... it says the positive and then it says the negative. It's like this. And sometimes I feel I'm on that and then I feel the guilt from that as well because it's the closest. It just says, 'Don't do that, don't do it,' when she does now, or 'Just do it, do it.' Yeah, 'Why did you do that?'

Yeah, it's like whoa. The one-two punch of the mind. The one-two punch of the mind saying, 'Do it, do it, do this, do this,' and then done, then it will say, 'Why did you do that?' following the mind, you see. So this kind of one-two punch can come. So I want to ask you that there must be by now a sense that just to be open and empty, it's so simple, you see. Okay, one thing about relationships before we go there. What is the worst way to be in a relationship? With the mind. Yes. And the way to be with the mind in the relationship is to be in the relationship. When you're being in the relationship, there's already too much pressure in the relationship. What is the best way to be in the relationship? Just open. Because relationship is what we call this movement of perception that actually... it's impossible. That term 'relationship' is just a sort of term that we invented in the human condition to explain things. But actually... so but when we inwardly take ourselves to be in a relationship, it is too constricted, you see. And being doesn't want to be constricted in that way. And that way every relationship starts to feel a bit personal.

And the way to fix that—and I'm not giving relationship advice either way—I'm just saying that the way to fix that is to inwardly, and then outwardly as the relationship has to continue, it continues. If it doesn't have to continue, it doesn't continue, because it's just a conceptual category anyway. Not that I have anything against relationships or something like that. I'm just saying that once you decide 'I am in a relationship,' then you have an idea about what the relationship should be. Where do you get these ideas from? Where do you get these ideas from? From the world, from parents, from movies, from everything we get these notions of what our relationship means. Is it? Before that, what is this? Fine, everybody is free to be however they are. But once you put things in the construct of a conceptual relationship, then that is burdened with expectations. 'Oh, how can you talk like this? How can you not talk like this?'

In a relationship, then you have an idea about what the relationship should be. Where do you get these ideas from? Where do you get these ideas from? From the world, from parents, from movies, from everything. We get these notions of what our relationship means. Is it before that? What is this? Fine, everybody is free to be however they are, but once you put things in the construct of a conceptual relationship, then that is burdened with expectations. 'Oh, how can you talk like this? How can you not talk like this? Please give me more attention. Please be by yourself for a bit.' You see, either way there is trouble. So inwardly, become open and empty. Open and empty. Let go of all conceptual relationships inwardly because that can give you a lot of the mind, a lot of order for trouble, a lot of fodder.

Now tell me, the number one thing that gets you as you attempt to be motionless or you attempt to be open and empty—what gets you?

If it's about with us, um, it's like some kind of negative thought towards, and then maybe a feeling will come of like something or, 'Oh, this means you believe it.' It feels like you believe it, and then maybe it might start to behave differently or like now you believe, and then it opens for all the rest of them to come in and...

Yes, yeah. So you have to simplify. You have to simplify. Just simple, which means just drop everything that you're thinking. Don't bother with it. You see, now what you're doing is at times—and I notice in your messages also, very sweetly and openly—you mentioned these things that you beat yourself up for believing. You see, but that is a lot of belief to beat yourself up about belief, isn't it? So it's like saying, 'I'm feeling so guilty I broke my diet and I ate a chocolate cake, and just because I ate a chocolate cake, I'm gonna have seven more right now.' So thinking about thinking, or thinking about not thinking, or believing thoughts about believing and not believing is just super oppressive when you're oppressing yourself in this way, you see.

So Sriram is also right in that way, that the mind is using spiritual concepts to oppress you even more. So what is it? Just forget all the instructions I've given you. Just keep the click before the click, you see. Forget everything you've heard about beliefs and ego, identity, personhood, nothing. Just click. And if the mind comes and says, 'But Father said click, click, click, you're not clicking,' just click it off right now. What's the trouble right now? Who's in a relationship right now? What's the relationship? Just this blob of matter shows up in front of you, then there's another blob of matter here. Let me, you know, engage with that blob of mind. How does it matter? You don't have to label it. You don't have to get involved with this narrative. You don't have to say, 'Oh, why is he like this? Is he really like this, or am I the one who's troublesome in the relationship?' You see, all the... you don't have to solve these things. Don't try to figure it out, you see. Whatever your head says has to be figured out, life has already figured it out and will move in those beats. It's just more fodder.

But also what I notice is it just comes and comes and comes and comes and comes, and at some point she... so maybe it comes such like a lot of times, but maybe it's true.

Yeah, and yes, this is persistent. It's like the persistent salesman who's selling you a life insurance policy for your frog. Because it comes and comes so often, it's like, 'I must have a frog, he's coming so often.' No? So then you buy the life insurance policy for your non-existent frog. And I know it sounds absurd what I'm saying, but this is what we do because the mind is persistent. 'There must be a meaning.' But in those, for example, when it comes and comes and comes, so what is the best way to approach?

Thanks to just one, yes.

In her case, I feel like in Joanna's case, I'm not going to say inquire, I'm not going to even say surrender. I'm just going to say keep both doors open: the entry door and the exit door. Let it come, let it go. I don't... I feel like if I give advice to inquire or to surrender and things, then the mind will also take that on and say, 'I'm not inquiring enough, I should inquire into that more.' All of those things will happen. That is literally the case. So I just want to tell you, just the way it comes, let it also go. Show me a thought which can come and stay. It may be repetitive, I understand, but can a thought come and stay? No. That's it. They don't. They come and go.

Yeah, they do. And but this is where I was actually... I was... but there was some natural inquiring happening here.

Well, you're seeing it. They come and go, they come and go. But something is seeing. You see them. You see that those conclusions are also thoughts. You see that, right? So okay, I have a tip for you. All right? All spiritual knowledge also must come and go, okay? You see? So if a thought comes and says, 'The thought comes and goes,' you see? Yes, please go. Don't hold on to that. Not even that. Just like that. Let's try now for a minute. Let everything come. Is it tough?

No. No, there's even like... well, yeah, exactly.

So if it's a thought, let it go. It's okay. Don't try to squeeze insight out of a thought. Don't try to understand anything at all. Don't know what's happening to you. It's fine. Then when your intuition wants to use your mouth to speak, you will recognize your heart is speaking. It's okay. Don't worry. Hey, don't go to your mind for any conclusion about what's happening, whether this is good, not good. Don't worry. This is the silence that no one spoke about. This is the 'be quiet' that Papaji spoke about. This is the 'don't identify' that Guruji talks about. This is the 'open and empty' that I'm talking about. It's all the same. Let it come, let it go.

It just um, it seems that, well, I'm not doing anything really there, just let everything come and go. Yes, I said there's a thought. See the last part again. Sometimes that... that you need to hold on to something to really feel that you're not paying too much attention or something as it passes something. So it feels really like deeply, 'Yeah, I'm here,' you know? You're so strong with it. 'I'm here.' Something like this. It makes it easier for you to let go if your attention has something to direct itself to. Is it like that?

Yeah, yeah, maybe. Yeah, because I'm still very aware of it as it passes by and maybe the previous feeling or something with it, story. Yeah, it depends on it. Some no, and others really there's a bit more to them and then it's like...

Don't look at the thought. You're not meant to look at this. Okay, go. In your case then, for a while till we speak next time, what I want you to do is just keep your attention gently in your heart, in your heart region. Although that is not the heart that we speak about, but it's helpful. So just keep your attention gently in your heart region and allow these thoughts to come.

Yes, yeah. But then what happens also together, if she does like this something, then at some point some one, one, one failure or something, yeah. And that one moment she comes on like, 'Yeah, just one moment and all day ruined,' and like, 'Yes, just notice me.'

Thank you. Oh yes. So no matter what, there was all day a lot of moments and everything, but one that... so you have to make me a promise, Joanna, that every judgment and evaluation is my problem, not yours. Okay? I promise? Yes. Okay, good. You are not to evaluate or judge yourself or anything for that matter. So I've given you some tips. How well you follow these tips or don't is not your job. You are not to make a report card about yourself. You are not to judge. You are not to say, 'I am being this much open and this much this much.' Nothing. Don't know any of that. All those are also thoughts. Just let them come and go.

Sometimes what happens in the human condition, sometimes—and that can be very oppressive—is that we take the evaluative thoughts to be something other than thought. That 'I was doing so well, but then this thought came about this thing and then I got so involved.' You see? So all these are also thoughts. So then these meta-thoughts, thoughts about thinking, you see, we take them to be more valuable than thoughts. They're just thoughts. Every thought is a thought.

There's interesting now we're speaking about it now. I'm sure you've mentioned this before, but like now we're like kind of bringing it up now and talking like this. It's yeah, seeing something with this as well. It's this, but whose job is it to see?

No, this is another one. It's very sneaky and very helpful sounding, you know? So that's why I'm saying let it be my job. It'll make some indoors and say, 'Yeah, this is what always happens to me.' So whose problem is that? Mind. Not yours. So it's not to spot it, to call it out, nothing. You relax like a one-year-old child, like a baby. Just roam around in your house. That is the innocence of a child. So but you... innocence of a child is not saying, 'But I'm a child, I'm supposed to be innocent. My master told me I'm meant to be innocent. I'm being 90 percent innocent.' And you see, that's not being like a child.

This is very good satsang for everyone to hear because this is the evaluative aspect of our mind which is actually the spiritual ego, you see, which takes the spiritual knowledge and then beats us up with it.

Yeah, and again it was about to say like, 'Oh, it's interesting because you see sometimes on someone else but when it's you, you don't notice.' But that's another... well, maybe that's something, but it's another, another evaluation.

Nothing you are thinking is anything. Okay? There'll come a point where we'll share these ideas with each other, okay? Right now you just relax. Relax. Don't come to any spiritual conclusions, nothing. And same for Sriram also. If he's being the best partner, my problem. If he's being the worst partner, my problem for some time. Yes, same the other way also, right? Here it's not just one way.

Yeah, I didn't see this deal being as enthusiastic as the previous... no, I do. Thank you.

Just inwardly be fully free. Don't burden yourself inwardly in any construct of relationship or not relationship. Outwardly it may continue, it's fine. No, I don't see you that well, I'm sorry. It's a bit too dark. It's because it's against the light. It's okay. Swamiji was saying that you're coming back soon. Is there some news like this? I was very happy with him.

I have no idea, Father. Like, I don't at the moment, I don't really know how that would work with money and stuff and like living, but I'm really open to that being the case. And no more... this is as well, I just... I just felt like coming up freely and kind of putting myself of you because it's quite easy for me to hide on Zoom.

How has it been since you've gone back? Didn't challenge him, but okay. It's okay.

It's like, um, yeah, everything's okay. Like sometimes things come up which are really uncomfortable in a certain situation, but then I see how there's that opportunity to just go and, you know, that's fine. I feel like there's been more attention on kind of like things happening and things coming up rather than that place where nothing's happening or not happening. Does that make sense?

Actually, it doesn't have to be in opposition to that. So when I say how do you know that you're being truly intuitive? And when I say that you know you're being truly intuitive when it is apparent to you what you really are. It may seem like then that is a question of potential and not being paying attention to that which is appearing, but it has nothing to do with attention. There's nothing to do with attention. And let's look together because I feel like this is important and this sort of mental category may be getting created somewhere in the sangha as well. So it's very important. So when we check on our truth, on our true nature, is that checking possible with our attention? Like, are you aware? Can you see yourself with your attention? No, you don't. You don't need any attention for that. And therefore then attention can be free to do whatever it's doing. Like nothing that can be in the content of attention, nothing inherently in the content of attention can take us away from...

This sort of mental category may be getting created somewhere in the sangha as well, so it's very important. So when we check on our truth, on our true nature, is that checking possible with our attention? Like, are you aware? Can you see yourself with your attention? No, you don't. You don't need any attention for that. And therefore, then attention can be free to do whatever it's doing. Like, nothing that can be in the content of attention, nothing inherently in the content of attention can take us away from self-knowledge. Can we check on this for a moment? So, you know that we tend to sit quietly and close our eyes and be like, it is not so clear. When we sit in satsang and we maybe close our eyes and yes, so that may be like it helps in the sense of reducing the amount of stimulus that we don't need to bother about like that. But in actuality, especially for those who are not new to satsang, you notice by now that whether eyes are open or my eyes are closed, the knowledge, the true self-knowledge, the intuitive insight is not affected by that at all. Is it like that? Sure.

So then if we didn't have to trouble ourselves with where attention is going, which also means didn't trouble ourselves with what is showing up—see, it's the same thing, isn't it? Where attention is going is what is showing up; it's the same thing. So if you are not evaluating or making categories of that, then what could get in our way? So as things are happening, and particularly when we call that, you know, where a situation arises and it's like, and then you look and you see, 'Oh, actually the part of me that's going like what that belief is,' and then like letting go into that. Yes, but we must make a distinction again between the inward and the outward. Outwardly, something, something, something, you see, that is the outward play. It can continue, it's fine. But inwardly, this open and empty, it's the same thing what I was telling them about being in a relationship. Outwardly we can be in a relationship, all the outward things which you would call relationship can happen, but inwardly we can be fully empty without hampering the relationship in any way. And I don't want to say it becomes helpful in the relationship, because then that becomes an expectation that burdens us. But mostly people say that yes, with the inward openness, the whatever relationships don't seem as burdensome. The same for this also. So let the body be at times, it doesn't matter. Don't use that as a sort of self-evaluation.

All these are like the poses, the poses of consciousness. And in the waking state, consciousness will have a pose. Even if you try to be completely open, empty pose, what is that? But somebody may look at that and say, 'What a crazy guy.' See, so there's no open and empty pose. It's only inwardly that we can be open. So whether we are like this or like that or just like that, you see, it doesn't matter. This is the beauty of this, that the inward open and empty, outward all rules can happen or not. There's no power strong enough in the universe to stop you from being open and empty. No, nothing can do it. Consciousness's own play, consciousness which is your own will. Sometimes it seems like all the provocations possible come, all the provocations possible, and sometimes you see through them and sometimes you grab one. It's okay. Even if you grab one, it's not the end of the world. It's okay. It's part of this human condition. So you grab one, then don't beat yourself up over it. Become empty. Don't decide what something means. 'I took myself to be a person again, therefore then I must not be doing as well spiritually.' That nonsense. Just you have you.

I'm sure I speak for everyone here when you say we miss you. Give a lot to Melissa as well. Ah, love.

Hello. Father, can you hear us? Yes, yes. I was just saying to Sylvia that I feel sometimes I abuse the saying hello thing, but I just wanted to give you more pranams and yeah, just help you go to Purnima. And both Sylvia and Shivoham arrived today; they left quarantine today.

Yeah, fully full love, full blessings to all of you. Love you so, so much. Don't ever worry about sometimes it's like that, because I know that if I don't say that, then some of you will start making things which are not there to say hello. So I rather you just come and say hello.

Yeah, I prefer to be honest. It's just that sometimes when I see you, I don't feel I have anything to bring, even if I had something before. I don't have anything anymore. Somehow want to say hello and just thank you very much. Very much here and very much here during Guru Purnima. Beautiful celebration.

Completely okay. I haven't met the trees in quite some time. Yes.

So, um, one of the experience now, this thing I see, I see these beauties. Yes, yes, I'm studying these stories and things and sometimes scaring. I identify that it is like it's not things, it's not me really. I just come to you. He's changed everything all the time and I'm here. Yeah, I see also this. It's like I'm right. I know I know it, I know I really know it actually. I need to be right. It's just it's only our doubt about being right. Like if if you just knew that you were right, you would not have to prove it. But really they need to be right, like I need to be right, you need to prove that we are right, you see. It's only because we doubt what we know. So everything is upside down.

Yes, there is something to convince ourselves, then the other one. Yeah, sometimes like, yeah, this is mine or this type comes like I don't know, I feel like I'm not yet or something or obviously I don't like a like illusion is happening or something comes. It seems like I'm again in their mind.

Yeah, don't—one tip I will give you is that don't convert, don't try to convert or waste time trying to convert your spiritual insight into a spiritual conclusion. Yes. So you have the entire—don't try to make it into a spiritual understanding or a conclusion. It happens by itself. Then your mouth says something or you end up writing something, whatever, you see, that's natural. It's fine. But don't take any attempt or effort to convert this pristine insight into some sort of a conclusion or what anything is, because then you come back to the storybook version of your life instead of this is what you say is happening and it is like I need to help or something, so I need to put it in here to help. I don't know.

So yes, don't bother with any of that. Just leave it. Just do it. You see, nobody is going to come and take a quiz. Nobody is going to come and take a test. You need to know all the spiritual concepts. What does Guruji say? What is Ananta? You know, what is his main point? Nobody—don't—or nobody is going to ask you what have you discovered. They might ask you when they're upset with you, like family. You may say, 'What are you wasting time in satsang? Whatever you discover?' Don't have to bother with those kind of questions. But there's no—you're not going to leave this world and somebody takes a quiz to enter heaven or something like that, that you have to take a spiritual praise or something. Don't bother trying to understand. Just joyfully something is revealing itself to you. Allow that to happen. Don't conclude anything. And there may come a time where your mouth just says things. It's okay. But you are not attached to them. You don't need to be right about what you're saying also. Okay, look, he wants to come back up. Okay, you can come back.

Hi Ananta Ji, I'm on the bus right now in New York City. I love you so much. I wanted to ask you, when Mooji says you have to wake up from the waking state, what is he meaning? Like, what is he saying? And he says that you have to wake up from the waking state.

Yes, yes, yes. It's what you discover remains the same independent—it remains the same one independent of whatever state there may be. So whether there is—so conventino says your state of being is independent of circumstances. So your being stays the same no matter what happens. It depends on how we use the term being. It depends, maybe there's a question of terminology there. So if there's a terminology which says being never comes and goes, then when we talk about waking up and going to sleep, like 'I woke up,' then we must be talking about an aspect of being that wakes up. Technology what we use in satsang here is that we call that which wakes up and goes to sleep 'being.' And the being goes to sleep and wakes up. Yes, we call that—it's just words. So the way we use in our dictionary is to say this is this being, this is who I am, that may be able to say 'I woke up at seven o'clock, okay, I went to sleep.' So that that wakes up and goes to sleep, we call that being. And that which is aware of the coming and going of being, coming and going of—

As long as a student—sorry, sorry, I'm on the bus—so I was saying that as long as as a student or a disciple we are in sync with the same terminology and we understand what the master is trying to convey in those words. I have to get the terminology because I've been out for a while, so I have to get used to it again.

Yes, yes, it's fine. It's a little, just a little bit somewhere. In fact, there should be some clarifying all the terminology somewhere.

So that is there, like the book that you guys have that I could buy so I could like get used to the pointings again? Bluetooth is not there. You're my father, you know, I am at your feet always. Thank you. I could kind of see your aura too from the phone.

This one has too much, this is all light. Lighting right here. I'm not a fan of this obviously, I have been using it. It's very sweet. Okay, should I mute myself? Yes, yes please, be clear. Thank you. So sweet to see after seven years. She was a fifteen-year-old kid who used to come almost every satsang, used to come those days from America. After seven years. Okay, yeah, I'm looking at the light also. What's with the body today? He's emanating.

Okay, let's go to my email. 'Please help me, I'm still acting based on compulsion and stop from my mind.' Did you say—can you repeat again what is happening?

So I still act from the mind and on compassion.

Are you saying that you tried to be open and empty? You try to be open and empty and yet when you try to be open and empty, the mind pounds and it's too strong and you end up believing what it is saying and identifying as if you are a person? Is that what you're saying? Okay, so can we try together now? Yes. Just allow. You have one job. The job is to allow the thought to go. You see, it will come on its own. You just allow it to go. Don't make any relationship between yourself and the thought. So it doesn't matter if attention goes to it or not. Doesn't matter. Just don't take it to be true. Just allow it to come and go. You can try this. You can try. I will. Yes, yes, very good. So let's start. Okay, now both of us play this game together. Let it all come, let it all go.

Tell me if there's a thought which is so compelling that you have to believe. Everything is cooling down now.

Is now cooling down? Okay, good, good, good. So allow yourself to remain like that. Come, let it go. Yes, yes, don't worry. Nothing can pull you. This is the good news I have for you, that you are consciousness itself. The mind is just an aspect of your existence, but you are the greater force. The mind does not have the power to really pull you. It can through just topic which it will, which it then hopes you are interested in. It'll give you a topic which it hopes you will be interested in. But you allow it to come and go. Nothing can force. With what topic does the mind get your belief usually?

Negative thinking about others. Others, mostly relationships.

Yes, so the mind just has these three, four categories which it troubles us with. The categories, you know what they are. There's relationships, they have security, which means work, money, all of that. Then it is—

Which it will, which it then hopes you are interested in. It'll give you a topic which it hopes you will be interested in, but you allow it to come and go. Nothing can force. With what topic does the mind get your belief usually? Negative thinking about others, mostly relationships, yes. So the mind just has these three or four categories which it troubles us with. The categories, you know what they are: there's relationships; then security, which means work, money, all of that; then it is the body, the health of the body, the well-being of the body; and fourthly, about meaning and spiritual progress and enlightenment and freedom for those of us who are spiritual, you see. These are the four things that it has. That's all. All you have to do is let go of these four. And you know what the best news is? The mind can only give you one thought at a time. One thought at a time. It may come very fast, it may be repetitive, but only one thought. You have to let go. It's not a difficult job. It's not difficult. It's not difficult unless you want something from it. Unless you have a desire about your life or about something the mind is offering you, you will not get your interest. It will not become compulsive.

Maybe I still have a strong desire, so I want to also give you some good news about that then, which is that God knows best what should happen in your life. God knows. So don't waste your time with desire. Spend your time enjoying what is already available to you as you perceive that. Instead of thinking, remain in your perception. Instead of labeling, saying 'I want' or 'I don't want,' this is such a beautiful movie God has created for you already. Enjoy the movie. Don't worry about what else should come, what should the next scene of the movie have, who should be the main character in that scene, you see? Don't bother with those things. Let God's movie play. It's the best movie ever. When you perceive, just perceive. Don't interpret, don't label, don't judge. You will see the world fresh. And as you're seeing the wholeness, the fullness of this world, it's already impossible to desire. In fact, there is just too much to enjoy, to taste. In every moment there is sound, there is color, there are so many things. There is no time left to desire. Desire says, 'I don't have enough, give me more.' Can you assimilate this already? Can you enjoy the taste of these perceptions already, that you want more? It's like your plate is already full like this. It's full. You say, 'Okay, where can I get some more something?' because we don't see the plate; we listen to what the mind is saying about the plate. I'm very happy to see you in satsang. All my love, all my blessings. Thank you. Thank you. Ah, she's raising both hands. Okay, we'll go to Anika. Zoom hand and body hand.

Thank you so much. It is really necessary now to ask your help about a situation that happened to me two days ago when there was Guru Purnima. And actually, the incident—I had to say this, it is personal things—but it was very shocking to me, this body. And one man was attacking me in the daylight on the road, like, was beating my head and spit on my face. And actually, I could run away from there, but from that time, this centrality of me is again very strongly in here, very strongly identified with this fear, with this tightness inside. And this all happening picture... it was about, I was with a bicycle, I wanted to pass the car. They were sitting in that car, these two men, and I lost my balance and I held that car. And suddenly I pressed the window mirror inside, yes. I stopped before I said anything, sorry or anything, it just spit on me and started to beat me. And this situation has brought a lot of kind of the same kind of pattern in my life with my childhood, when this kind of abusing—physical, verbal, mental abusing—happened to me. And the same fear and this vulnerability and this weakness, not knowing what to do. All the person, this strong identification with this weak one, is very much here now. And I try, try to come out from this, just see, just see it clearly that this is not me, but so strongly these pictures are just coming. What's happened, how it's happening, everything is just in this mind. It's just coming and coming and coming. And now at the moment, it's so difficult for me to be at this clarity point.

I'm sending a big hug and all my love, all my blessings. Of course, upon hearing something like this, some sadness does arise in the heart here as well. To hear not just for this particular situation, which itself is so absurd, but this is the nature of the human condition: that we can attack our brothers and sisters over some worldly attachment like a car and something, some minor thing like this. We can become so violent and so upset about an apparent loss which is nothing really, which is not even something. And to come across a beautiful being, a beautiful sister in the world, and then just to judge so harshly and then to become violent. It's so much compassion for the human condition upon hearing these stories, because here's a chance for these boys, these men, to have had such a beautiful encounter with another beautiful being; instead, they made it into this.

Do you know what was so shocking? This day I was running home too because there was the Guru Purnima online with you, and it happened between half an hour, these two different, so different kind of connections. We do so much difference with this pure love and gratitude that was in there on the Zoom, and before just have... and this I know I never can understand. I know what is so, so strange. How can this on this planet, these both, these two kinds of sides, how can they be together? And this came back, a lot of judgment for myself was there. So this kind of hatred is into this, this is too weak, not knowing what to do, even scared to go to police, even scared to do anything. So small, so anybody can do better. And one more thing to really finish this all up, like, I don't mean physical death because I know this is not a solution, everything will just carry on from the same point, but just finish this all.

Yes, just take your time. Don't be in a rush to anything. If the imagery is coming back, let it come. Just let it come and let it go. Don't hold it back, because then it'll get into some repressed sort of conditionings and vasanas and things like that. So just allow it to naturally... in your being, a process of cleaning up is happening. So don't feel like you have to rush through that. Take your time. Take your time. If angry thoughts are coming and the images are coming or some sadness is coming, allow all that to come. It's okay. It's okay. Don't feel like you have to be spiritual at this point, you know? This must be... Anantaji? For the last few seconds, I couldn't hear.

Okay, is it back now? Yes? Okay. I was just saying that don't be in any rush to heal. Don't be in any rush to, you know, come back to true insight. Nothing. Just allow it to expose, allow it to come out. It's not pleasant, it's not fun, I understand. And yet to hold it in is much worse than to just allow it to get released. So give your mind open season. Open season. Just allow it. We can do it together if you want for a minute or two.

Yes, please.

Allow it to bring any images it wants. Don't be scared. I'm holding your hand. I'm with you. Don't be scared at all. Allow it to just... if it is anger, if it is angry thoughts, if it is angry, let it all go.

I thought that you get some something here but says because you deserve this, because you...

It's completely lies. It's complete... I cannot be stronger about this. Many of my children have this thing that something bad happens, they start saying, 'What did I do? Why is this still here that this happens to me?'

I cannot understand why things are happening.

Yes, yes. And don't try to also understand. Just accept that the way of life is too big a mystery for the mind to understand.

Yeah, actually they live so close. I don't think... I don't know why this kind of fear... maybe help me with my progression spiritually? No, I don't know that. I don't know. I just give it up here. I'm so grateful that you are in my life, Anantaji. Completely, completely written.

Just become a baby for a few days. Just be a little child. Don't understand. Don't make spiritual conclusions. Thank you so much. Film seems to be some something wrong with the connection, but am I audible now? Yes, very clearly. Yes, yes.

You know, last two days there has been a very strong bonding with you in the form of watching the videos continuously. And also there has been a lot of wobbly mess because not holding on to anything really that way, because my head is normally used for all these pointers. The last time which we talked, so not holding and staying as I am, just like this we are talking. So there's no... and when you... are you aware now? So that pointer, that one. So yes, I'm aware now, and of course I can't see this one who's aware, but this is here. And it is bringing a lot of sadness. I don't know what kind of sadness is this, but what I'm finding out is that sadness can also be here. It doesn't... I don't have to move away so that who I am doesn't... sadness doesn't take that away.

Yes, exactly. This is very good. In fact, it's not uncommon, you see. As we are coming to true insights about who we are, many times it feels like there's a period of mourning that happens. Who are we mourning? Just like losing a friend or something, the mind comes with these kind of ideas. Losing... there's a certain grief.

I don't know what this grief is, but I'm at the same time I'm connected with you in the heart as always. It's not two hearts, it's just one heart. So this grief is there. And right now my circumstances are a little bit... there's a little bit unsurety of the money source. So all this is playing out right now and there's an identification happening with the person at the same time, but it's all happening. But still I am, I am what I am.

I want to reassure you in some way with this security thing and money thing that actually over the last ten, eleven years of sharing satsang, I've heard this concern about money so many times, you know, hundreds of times. And not one of those people actually ever got to a point where they did not have money to live or even to come to satsang, you see? So this is like God's grace taking care of everyone. Don't have to worry at all. And we'll laugh about this a few years later, I'm sure you'll notice that, how grace takes care of itself. It's beautiful. You don't have to worry. Like he said, the one who has given the mouth will also figure out what to put in that mouth and feed them.

And this spiritual person, my God, it was now from just staying as I am, it was really a kind of a shell. It made it all heavy. And just to stay like this and not trying to be anything in particular. So this thank you is always, every moment, gratitude for your yes. Finally, Father, I was the first one who raised the hand and was like, even before I just... even before I came on, she's like, 'I'm here, I want to say something.' It's good.

Father, I'm so happy about this because during this satsang, more than two hours, I just cried and cried and all my buttons pushed in. Yeah, now I just came. Are you button-less? All the buttons have been pushed now? No button left?

Well, all the buttons have been pushed, all the crying came. I... yeah, for now no button left, I think. Yeah, they can be still possible, but first of all I just want to send all my love to Anika, really, and just too much love for her. And I just want to say to her, because it's so beautiful that she shares this, and a similar situation I also had too, not physical at all. And I just want to tell that... yeah, I just want to send all my love to her. And already you said, and I cannot put any word to what you said, but I just want to tell her that really don't take any blame on this, on herself, because I went... I go through a similar situation.

It's possible, but first of all, I just want to send all my love to Anika, really, and just too much love for her. I just want to say to her, because it's so beautiful that she shares this, and a similar situation I also had—true, not physical at all—and I just want to tell her that, just yeah, I just want to send all my love to her. Already you said, and I cannot put any word to what you said, but I just want to tell her that really, don't take any blame on herself. Because I went through a similar situation. I again came to Abraham's abode in Turkey, and for almost four weeks I'm here. And this is it, yeah. This is very—what was the word? It's not like the place that I live, you know? And I grew up in this very religious place, and women oppression is just playing here a lot. And every day I'm just arguing with everyone because, yeah, they are like this. And I don't take any blame. I don't, really. I just fight because, yeah, I feel like it's because sometimes I feel—yes, yeah. But I'm good about fighting, actually. They deserve it, I think. I don't know. It really gives me strength, Father, because they are just so used to behaving in that way to women, and it's like God sent me here to show them they cannot do this. And I saw how their behavior changed. And sometimes I needed to go to the police, and I did this. And even the policeman also was the same, but it's like even after that, they really learned that they cannot behave in this way. Like every day I'm doing it. And even with a woman, you know, she was just physically not kind to me, and I actually beat her, like, 'You cannot do this to me.' And then it so happened that we have now such a wonderful connection. Like, I don't know, these things happen. Really, we cannot say anything. But yeah, yeah, but I really don't take any blame on me about this. I'm just here, and when it is time to say something, I really am here and I do this.

Just follow your heart. And sometimes from the heart, when you see things like this which are oppressive—not just inward, of course all of it is inward mental oppression—but sometimes because it is the same guy, the same ego, the same individuality, sometimes the fighting happens in this way as well. And as long as you're just being an instrument and going from the heart and following the heart and not taking any specialness or any sort of condition, it's full love, full blessings.

Yes, sometimes I just feel sorry. I don't know. Like, I don't know, people that I know don't go through these things and I don't know...

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it comes here also. I want to shake everyone up in the world, you know, seven billion, and just go to each one and shake them up and say, 'What are you doing?' You know, 'What are you doing?' Like what Anika shared about what happened. If I meet those boys, I just feel like shaking them and saying, 'What are you doing?' For one mirror on a car? It's absurd. It's completely strange.

Just please don't take any blame on yourself. And God, just please don't do this to anyone, really, because I went through this also. But you saved me from this kind of mentality, Father. You really completely saved me, and I never feel any guilt about this because sometimes we really stand on our strength and really shout sometimes if it is needed. And it comes from the heart and it's very truthful because sometimes it's needed. Sometimes they just understand in that language, unfortunately, but we sometimes have to speak in that language. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, yeah. And I just want to ask for your blessings in general in my life and about work and money, because I have so much debt and I need to take care of them, really. And it's time to take care of this. Really, life takes care of me, but it's needed now. Thank you so much.

And one more thing also I want to share. As I told you before, I met with one female teacher and, like, it's the same story. Then I meet with a teacher and I know for sure it is Guruji and you are my Guru, but they try to own me. They say, 'You are my child, you are my child.' And inwardly I was like, 'Okay, okay, yes, yes.' Like, I never believe, but it's like I just walk with them. It's like you send me for some time to them, etc. And it feels natural to walk with them a little bit. And I was with her for some time and I saw why I was with her. I'm thankful, but I felt like, 'Okay, I don't want you anymore.' And I also had to be a little harsh on her, like, 'Really, you are not my anything,' and something like this. And I was a little bit harsh, but it's like, I don't know, because it's called a teacher and I was a little bit harsh. I just wanted to bring it to you. Was it true or something? Like, is it okay to speak to a teacher in that way? But I don't know, I just wanted to share it with you.

I should be careful what I say now. I might have to hear it in the same way from you.

But her behavior was a little bit angry to me, that's why I felt it.

I want to also clarify for everyone one thing, because this question often comes up about teachers and who's my teacher, who's not my teacher, who's the right teacher for me, all of these things. So actually, anything in life which makes us open and empty—in the presence of which we become open and empty—is Satsang for us, you see? Satsang for us. Whether it's a teacher, whether it is a friend, whether it's whatever, that is good enough. And I'm always encouraging of those situations.

The only thing that I notice sometimes is because there's a difference in terminology and a difference in experiences and the way things are shared, then sometimes there is confusion created in the mind about two different ways of teaching, two different points of view of pointing to the same thing—hopefully pointing to the same thing. So usually I find there's a lot of like adventurism and things like—you know, sometimes change feels like a relief. You're tired of hearing, 'Who is that which is aware of the perception of this hand?' and you know, sometimes—not in your case, I'm saying generally speaking—it can happen like that. If somebody says it in a different way, these things are concerned. And notice if it is just because of excitement or some boredom or something like that.

Whatever makes you open and empty, whatever makes you into no-mind, is good enough for me. It makes my job easier, actually. So I'm happy, happy to encourage that. But you have to really truly follow your heart and notice that it's not about the mind wanting to escape, you know? Because sometimes Satsang with Guruji or Satsang with this one can seem very relentless and seem very strong, just mind-like that. So sometimes you can just feel like a different sort of change or something like this. So with those situations, just see if you're following your heart. If you're following your heart, it's all good.

As far as what you said to your teacher, 'You're not my teacher,' as long as it came from your heart, then it is fine. It's completely fine. It's nothing to worry about. In fact, I encourage all of you to share openly from here also, whatever comes in your heart to share with me openly. If you don't like something that happens in the Satsang, if you don't like something that I've said—you know, maybe as a joke or maybe seriously—if you don't like it, you can come and say, 'I didn't like it when you said like that.' 'Why do we do this?' You can come and ask me like, 'Why do we do this?' I'm happy to look at things together with everyone. I don't feel like I'm attached to these things and, you know, like, 'I'm the teacher, you should behave like this.'

I will say, having said that, that some amount of openness is needed for the project that we are on together. So if you come into Satsang, and we are coming to Satsang presumably for the truth, the path of Satsang, then it takes a certain amount of openness to be in Satsang and a certain amount of trust to be in Satsang. So as long as a little bit of that sliver of openness is there and the sliver of trust is there, I can work with that, and that much is enough for me. So besides that, we are free to share openly whatever comes up, and I'm happy to look together. I mean, I may have a perspective and say, 'This is why we do like this because this is this,' and you're free to say, 'But it doesn't actually work like that.' I mean, I promise to be as open as possible when I receive that feedback. And also, you don't have to wait to a point where things become like—you know, what is it? You can point it out and you can look at things. I'm happy to do that.

Then there is something—it's not about you, but what happened within me before I met with that teacher. Actually, some resistance toward this path just arrived in my heart and Mooji Baba, even though my love is just beyond any feeling and everything. And it's of course about life and the situation is like nothing is changing and all this thing. And then she came into my life and put something in order, and I'm thankful because I always take it like Mooji Baba and you just sent her and just helped me in that way. And yes, still I sometimes feel this oppression about this path, actually. And yes, so...

Yeah, just one point about this, because it is a common thing that we feel like our teachers sent us to this one, to the next one, whatever. Just follow your heart about that. In this life also, before I came to Guruji, I went to many, many teachers, just from place to place. It was not clear to me in my heart that the guidance is available. And all of those teachers helped me immensely, so I'm very grateful to them. So as long as you're listening to your intuitive guidance about these things, it's all fine. You don't have to have a rational explanation for why something happened. As long as you are following your heart, it's okay.

Sorry, connection is not good, Father.

I was saying that you don't have to have a rational reason for why anything happens. In fact, we never do. It is mostly post-facto that we put the rationality around things and say, 'This is why this happened.' It's all good.

I think in this case, I'm—yeah, just too much oppression about like, 'Just follow Mooji Baba,' just put it how you listen. Just too much oppression like, 'Just follow Mooji Baba.' But I mean, I just wanted to expose this. I think it plays in that way, just too much oppression. I just wanted to expose it.

Yeah, mind is oppressing.

I naturally love him so much, I'm naturally with him, but this just puts extra oppression. Yeah.

Yes, this is the mind oppression that we are cleaning up.

Yeah, still I don't feel so clear about these things, but I just want to offer them completely, Ji, and I trust you on this. So thank you so much. And yeah, I just want to ask your grace in general in my life. I feel like I need it at this point. And I just wanted to say that I'm invited to Sahaja in September, yeah, by your blessing. Thank you, Father.

Yeah, may all the process of visa and everything just flow so beautifully with your grace and blessing. And I shall find myself—so we'll continue this next week. Let me look at all of you. Oh my God, thank you all so much for being in Satsang today. Thank you.