This Is the Freshness of Your True Being - 19th November 2021

So this is the primary error, let's say, you see. And all of satsang is just about switching the perspective, switching out from the mental perspective of you being this limited body-mind into the intuitive insight about you being that which is aware of all there is, and that all there is is your very being. So you as awareness, aware of your very being, which is actually all there is, but beyond anything that the mind can imagine about all there is. So what is the worry? What compels you to refer to yourself through the lens of mental constructs? There's a habit, of course. But once you see that, do you feel completely ready to let go? It's like a habit. Let's say for a moment it's like an addiction, you see. And it may have some withdrawal symptoms. You may feel scared, you may seem ugly, you may not know where you are, you may not know whether you're sitting or standing. You may get all this type of fear, or you may not get any of that. But knowing that it is an addiction of ignorance, an addiction of lies, do you feel ready to let it go? Or do you feel like you want a bit of both? What is your response?

Kind of. Kind of ready to let go, yes.

Good, good, good. That's a good start. So then that's a good start, you know. Now let go. Let go. And whatever the proposal is from the mind, just let it go as if it is some other language. Don't bother with it. And if there is something that you are compelled to believe, do you expose it? Expose it in your own light, or type it out or speak it out. I want to give you a taste of freedom, but for the moment lose the notion of freedom also. Lose all positions. Just let go. Don't worry about attention also; don't have to control it at all. Let it go wherever it wants. You're not trying to perceive something, you're not trying to control anything. Just let it go. With me now? If you're being forced to believe something, you believe that you're being forced to believe something, we expose that belief. 'I can't stay here, I can't stay here.' You see, 'I can't stay here'—is that, once you expose it, is it a laughable notion already?

Yes.

Okay, good. See, if it's already a laughable notion in the exposing of it, then you don't even need to inquire into it, you see. But you have to be true to yourself. You have to be true to yourself in the looking. Okay, so 'I can't stay here' is laughable from all perspectives. You can also type in the chat if you want, if you feel like you have to believe this notion that this has to be true.

Pressure in my head created and believed that doesn't go away. Is this one? Raise your hand, the one who has this. Okay, I couldn't find the hand so I put the thumb.

I'll see you again. What's happening?

It's the same as always. It's like it's reducing a little bit, but it was like it's been like going out for months. But like when I kind of accept it, you know, it goes away, but it still like goes back.

And if you accept, if you accept it, yes. If you accept the intention that it should go away, only then can you say, 'But I accepted it, it is still not going.' You see, that's not acceptance. It's a devious rejection. Are you with me? It's like saying—I often use this example, isn't it?—many feel like what we resist persists. So instead of resisting the ego, I'm going to embrace it so that it goes away.

Exactly, exactly.

That is a devious rejection actually, you see. It's like trying to fool the ego into death. So when we embrace it, we're just waiting for it to die. 'Are you gone yet? Are you gone yet?' You can't do it like that. You can't play these tricks. So let's come back to our experiment. Right now you are open and empty. You can't help it. It's naturally God's gift to God. So right now you're open in it. Now allow all these notion thoughts to come. But that which you have to believe, you expose that.

It's just like a sensation. Your mind is telling you—I guess it's the mind because I just feel a sensation in my brain.

Let the experiencing of the sensation happen. Let the experiencing of the sensation happen. Whatever perception there is, let it happen. What is that perception doing to the space of you, to the space of your being? What is it hurting to the space?

Nothing. It's a belief in the sensation that it's real.

Yes. So a belief that not just the sensation is being experienced, but also that it can, it should not be there. You see, that is what it is believing.

Yeah, that's true. And then the next sentence is like, 'Why doesn't it go away?' You know, it's like God is making this mistake. He's giving sensations which I don't need. Why don't they just go? With me, isn't it?

Yeah. How to accept something that there is something that doesn't want to accept it? Don't make it accept or reject anything. Just leave it aside. Leave it aside. That which can accept or reject is your intellect, is your mind-intellect. So keep that aside.

Now if I don't cling to the idea that it shouldn't be there, yes, there is only a space.

So don't cling to the idea.

But I need a magic wand from you. Like there is something in me that I still don't believe in in some certain ways, you know, that I'm...

Yeah, so sometimes what is it that you do believe? Let's look at that. No, let's look at that. What you do believe: the sensation is a mistake, that you should not be experiencing it. You see, you are that which is separate from God because God would not give God himself or herself too much free experience, isn't it? So you are believing that you are separate from all of this and then you still come to Advaita satsang which talks about non-duality. So there's a clash of belief systems which is happening because on one hand you're believing that this should not be, God is making a mistake and I am experiencing it, it is not God. On the other hand, something is appealing in your heart for you to come to satsang. So this is where all this crazy contradiction is happening and this sort of confusion is what suffering looks like.

It's yeah, it's funny but it's just like a tiny peanut, you know. The rest, there is nothing. This whole universe is a tiny peanut for you. And yesterday when you post in the Instagram, you know, 'You are Shiva' and I feel like everything is Shiva. And when everything is Shiva, like anything, but suddenly like this little peanut, you know, tiny dust, you know, and I believe in it deeply, tiny dust, and I'm just like, 'What is going on with me?'

So stop it. So stop it. Okay?

And okay, so I surrender it to you. Okay, I give it to you.

Stop it. Because not even that I can do. Just again fresh. Let's try. Stop it. It doesn't mean thoughts have to stop. Thoughts can come and go. Don't accept them to be real. That is completely a power that you have as consciousness.

So many times they vanish and right now like they are vanishing, like there is no thought. Like being in the space is great.

That's not a thought. So all of this, like when this spaciousness comes, then we feel like we need to own it. So we have to label it and say, 'This is very nice,' you see. But actually in your pure perception, what else do you need? Do you need the construct of what is happening to you?

No, I don't need anything at all.

What are you afraid of here?

When I go outside, you know, that...

Wait, wait, we are not done with the experiment yet. Okay, realm of speculation and things. So forget about outside, inside, all those notions. Those are just thoughts. Just come back to fresh, fresh, fresh, fully fresh. Yes, start fresh now. Let all thoughts come and go and that which you can't let go, it seems so real, pick up that one and expose it here. And finally, that's very good, that's very good. Now the mind will play various tricks with you. It will say, 'But this is boring. What did I actually get? Freedom can't be like this.' All these attacks will come. Even that which seems helpful is actually a distraction and an attack, you see. So let it come and go in the same way.

One says, 'Meanwhile, Father, this life is also a thought. We exist is also a thought.'

Every thought is a thought. Okay, every thought. Everything that you can think is a thought. True life is not the label 'life.' True existence cannot be captured in the label 'existence.' Everything you can think is a thought. I know it sounds very obvious, but it gets missed sometimes. Okay?

So my... it's too much for me.

Yeah, it happens quite a bit. There's almost as if, well, there are two things I think. There's that like the war is over. Like it's over if you pause here you...

A thought—every thought is a thought, okay? Every thought, everything that you can think, is a thought. True life is not the label 'life.' True existence cannot be captured in the label 'existence.' Everything you can think is a thought. I know it sounds very obvious, but it gets missed sometimes, okay?

So, my... it's too much for me.

Yeah, it happens quite a bit. There's almost as if, well, there are two things. I think there's that like the war is over. Like, it's over. If you pause here, you'll save yourself a lot of time. So, let's just pause here and start fresh, okay? This is the advantage of this beautiful being: that no matter what happened then—it could have happened for millions of years—it doesn't matter. You are open and empty right now. In this very moment, you're as free as you'll ever be, you see? Now, it all depends on where we take it from here. So, allow these thoughts to come and go. Allow every thought to come and go. And that which truly gets your belief that 'this has to be real,' you expose that one.

I can't find anything. Keep going. Don't worry, we have time. Yeah, what comes is like a feeling of overwhelm or something, as if like it's too much. Like, I need to sit down on the ski slopes. Like, I'm mid-slope and gotta stop to something because I can't handle this. Does that make... that's what comes.

Yes, yes. So, let's invite this. Invite this. Don't run from it and see if you can just stay with the perception of it and allow all of its interpretation to go. So, don't run from any perception and allow the interpretation of what it means to go. Whether it is overwhelming, whether you can handle it—are these inherent in the perception itself?

No.

No. So, don't try to explain what is happening to yourself. That is what the mind is trying to do. So, allow the perception to happen. You don't know what it is for, see, or what it implies. Don't run from it. Just remain as open and empty as possible. Allow everything to come and go, including these perceptions.

There's a clenching in the gut, like this. But there's a lot of space around it right now.

Very good. It doesn't mean anything. Let it be there, but don't try to derive some idea of what that implies.

Is that like a new position? No, no, it's just... it's like that feeling popped, but it doesn't matter that it pops. That's what the laughter is. It doesn't matter to this. Like, I think something's been trying to control what happens in some way. Like, 'this is an alignment with freedom, this isn't.' And the clenching or unclenching makes no difference to this whatsoever. I think... left. Yeah, it's just amazing.

Now, even all of these constructs, leave them. Leave them, as beautiful as they may sound. Just leave them, because what is true does not go away now. Okay, as simple as that. How many of you, or is there anyone who's feeling that it is too difficult? Just raise your physical hand. Too difficult? Okay, let's go. I see one hand. Saskia, let's go to Saskia.

I don't know what to say, yes, but there's an idea that it is too tough. It's too much. Is it like this? Yeah, I put a line in the chat earlier.

Now, here and now, your being is independent from whatever conditions there may be. Whatever there may be that may have been experienced in this worldly life, your being is fresh from that now. Tell me what you're believing and you can't leave.

I think maybe the belief is that it's harder for me, which doesn't make any sense.

So, if you feel it doesn't make any sense, then no inquiry is needed into that because once you expose it, there's already some distance from it. But if you feel that it could be true, you could look at it and really say, 'Harder for who? Who is it harder for?'

And I do this often and it keeps coming frequently. Yeah, who does it? So that question can... but many times it can be that if you were there in satsang last time, you must have heard me talking about the 'checker guy.' The spiritual guy tries to use the practice to make life or something better for them. So, I've been listening to that again and again when I've this week wanted to stick a knife inside me.

I see. So, the question may sound actually oppressive sometimes, but actually, it's your doorway to freedom. Actually, freedom is always there.

I see what's happened where I've looked last and then claimed some credits for spotting it, reinforcing with me.

So, just humor me and just tell me: who is the 'I'? This one who sees what's happened, who is that one?

Like a guy.

Okay, good. That's a very good spot. So, you notice that there's an aspect of your mind which is able to make progress reports about how well you're doing or how badly you're doing, so it can give you a mark. So already you've seen that to be the checker guy. So let's leave that. Let's leave that now. What is here?

Fear is here.

So allow it to be there. I'm with you. I'm with you. Don't run from it at all. Allow the perception of this to be experienced fully. Nothing true will be taken away from you. Nothing worthwhile will be gone from this. Don't try to understand anything at all. Just be with what you are perceiving.

The mind is saying the fear is too strong.

Yeah, so yes, and the mind says... what is our one job? Just let it go. What's happening in the rest of you?

It's seeing the noticing of things happening in the body that the mind wants to interpret.

Is there a special fascination with just the perception of sensation which we call 'in the body,' or it is universal, the seeing itself?

When I said it, it felt that was the thing to focus on. It felt too big, but it's way broader now.

Let's be fresh again. Fresh, fresh, fresh.

Yes, wanting to stop myself still.

Okay, what is it? Can you identify it as a perception? Is it a thought? What is this that you're reporting?

It's seeing a thought that persistently comes because it always grabs my attention.

I see. So now, again, I'm with you. We are together as a sangha in this. So let this thought come. Let it come a hundred times. In fact, if it stops, don't let it stop. Let it keep coming. Let's count: how many times does it come? Don't run from it. Don't run from it at all. If it comes, we just count it.

So it was coming and I was letting it play out to a conclusion of blood everywhere and body dead, and I'm still watching.

Yeah, all these perceptions, you can allow everything to come. Everything. That which seems the most terrible, the most horrific, can be allowed to come. In India, we have imagery of gods which are there at both extremes. So you could have like a Krishna playing in the garden with the gopis, yeah, beautiful, beautiful, what is called Leela. But you could also have the most horrific, most fearsome, you see, with skulls in her hands. She is dancing. Only in your lives, don't have any idea that this should not be. We should not throw it away. We should also mostly know... could I just expose her?

Should not, yes, yes. So for a long time, I've carried the guilt of wanting to kill my father to save myself, so if my sister doesn't save my mom... I've been getting this persistent thought and this is what I wanted to do for most of my childhood. And obviously, I didn't do it, but I carried the guilt of...

Have you forgiven yourself for it? Because actually, there is nothing to forgive. If a thought comes repeatedly in the mind, there's nobody to blame. It is just consciousness playing that way.

I think I was asking for your forgiveness.

We will be accepted here fully. It doesn't matter. Every one of us has gone through such strange thought processes and beliefs and all of these things. It doesn't matter at all. It's really pure, fully pristine. Okay, now, fresh again. Fresh again.

A lot of gratitude here for having this opportunity to overcome a fear which is speaking in front of people.

The exercise is not so that we can beat ourselves up about something, you know? It's just a very natural, gentle looking. It's a very natural, gentle looking because sometimes what happens is that we are not able to distinguish between pure perception and the explanations and the narratives we weave in our mind. So an exercise like this is very helpful because you can see that the pure perception can continue, but it is quite distinct. The process is very distinct from making the story in our mind. And just to see that is good because we are allowing everything to move, everything to be fresh, but we are not holding on to any story about it, what it means. It's just allowed to come and go. So even the conclusion that, 'Ah, okay, yes, yes,' that was also just the mind. It can just... once it seemed that way, we don't need to make a conceptual conclusion about it because very soon then the mind will tell you, 'You're not doing well enough,' or 'You're unworthy,' or 'It's going... you need to practice this some more before you can truly be free.' These kind of ideas which are in time and back in the narrative can be proposed to you then. But you are free. Like that, like that, you're free. Free. You can't help it. You're just free. Too free. We all have it easy. Act in God's design. It may seem so difficult, but it's so easy. How to become free without a how-to? 'I can't be that easy then.' Free. 'No, no, you're just fooling yourself. It may be true for him, but you're not there yet.' All this you may believe, a hundred stories in like one minute, and next minute you're free. What a mind, what a narrative it retrieves in an instant. It's all gone. The story could be super complex and intricate, and 'this has happened, this has happened,' you see? 'Why hasn't it happened?' All these ideas, and next instant, gone. So then it sends an artillery shell, says, 'No, no, no, really it's not true. This has actually happened with you. Get serious now.' Okay, when you buy into that idea, you see, and you may buy again into a hundred, a hundred more ideas, but what happened to being nothing? You're free. I'm playing for the easier side. They're bound to win, you see? There's no losing. Tell me right now, tell me: what are you identified with right at this moment? Right now, now, now, now. Right now, what's your name? Right now, right now, what's your name? Even though the basis, the label with which all these stories are weaved, even that is not there right now. Who will you put in that idea? Who will you put in that story? What's happening to you? What's happening to you? The mind's proposals are false claims to knowledge about what is, what is true for you. What's happening to you? But can you really look and see? Read me your idea. Really look and say. You can't find a location. Where do I look to find what's happening to me? Is it like this? Like this one, you could build the most sophisticated house, but fundamentally it's still a house of cards, blown away so easily. Okay, so your project is the reverse today. Your job is to be bound in this instant. Right now, be bound. Don't be free. And whoever succeeds can raise the hand like this. Succeed, succeed in becoming bound. Don't be free right now. I don't want anyone to be free right now. You're too free. I see you all, you're too free. Come on, get with the program. Come on, let's go to the next screen. What's happening here? Too free here also. If you have an idea of freedom which looks different from this, throw that idea away, you see? Even if it looks the same, throw it. It's fine because this is it. It's moment to moment. In this moment of notionless existence, you are as much a sage as the greatest sage. And the instant you buy a story about yourself, you are as much in hell as hell can be. It's all here now. The main trump card from your mind will be, 'What about me? I had some desires, I had some plan, I wanted my freedom to look like this, I wanted to get something out of this.' Throw it all over. Take one axe and chop it all. Don't mollycoddle it, just throw it. Now, fresh. Oh no. You play that game today. So I don't want anyone meditating, I don't want anyone doing anything except what I'm saying, okay? Now, just your only job is to be completely fresh in this moment. Like, be completely fresh. Just be with me, right? Full-on, full-on right now. Is it...

I had some desires, I had some plan, I wanted my freedom to look like this, I wanted to get something out of this. Throw it all over. Take one axe and chop it all. Don't mollycoddle it, just throw it. Now, fresh. Oh no. You play that game today. So I don't want anyone meditating, I don't want anyone doing anything except what I'm saying, okay? Now, just your only job is to be completely fresh in this moment. Like, be completely fresh. Just be with me, right? Full-on, full-on right now. Is it? Come, come, move fast. Fresh, fresh. No slow. I don't want anyone becoming still, okay? No stillness allowed here. Just full, full-on, full-on, okay? Who's with me? Everyone with me? Come, come, come. You can't see the eyes so well, okay, I can see better. Fresh, stay fresh. Nothing, nothing. Leave it, leave it, leave it, leave it, leave it, leave it, leave it out. Leave it, left it, left it, left it. Don't know. Leave it, leave it, lift it. Fresh now, now. Here, here. No, no. Leave it, leave it. Come, come, come, come. Leave. Good, good. No becoming still, okay? Just fully fresh, fully fresh.

Hey, come fresh. Here, here, here. Right here. Yeah, yeah. Don't understand anything. Don't understand anything at all. Nothing. Okay, very good. Matthew, come, come, Matthew. Don't understand, don't understand. Cash, leave it all, leave it all, leave it all. Don't get anything at all. Don't understand. Be fully fresh right here. Good, very good. This one, Olga, like I don't want to leave it. Come, come, come, right? Fully fresh here, here. Let the mind chase you. You don't go after it. Let the mind chase you. It can't catch up with your being. You don't understand anything. You don't go to it. Don't go to it. Be fresh, fresh, fresh. Come out of it, come out of it. Leave it. Fresh here, here. Right here, here with me, here with me. What's happening here, Jonas? Here, yeah. You can perceive everything clearly here, yes? Don't have to get anything at all. Yes, no deepening, no stillness, no meditation, nothing. Yeah, good, huh?

There's a gravitation pull that seems to be exerted. Leave it. Look at this now. I looked at these guys now, these days. Come on, Laura, back, back, back, back. Don't build a house in your mind. Just be fresh. Come with me. Come, come. Yes, yes, yes. Did a good, good girl. Leave, leave it, leave it. Come, come. Fresh, fresh, here with me. Nothing is better than this. Nothing, nothing your mind is proposing is better than this. No, no, no, no, no. Whatever, even the highest conclusion. No, don't rest, don't rest. No resting, no stillness, no meditation, no deepening, nothing. Yes, mantra, with me, with me. Here, here. You, right here, right here. She can't. No building houses, no constructing anything. Just so fresh, fresh. Open, open, fresh. Come on, Matthew. No, no, no, don't go there. Come with me, come with me, come.

We don't have to live there, you know. We can live here, huh? Wake up, wake up, wake up. No meditating, no stillness, no deepening, nothing. You can go do all that later. Darn is breathing here. No building, no building houses. See, it's like this: your being is too fast for the mind. It's too fresh for the mind. It's just here. By then you've already gone, maybe you've gone. Nothing is missing here. It's all here. Life is here, being is here, God is here, everything. Like sometimes, what are you saying? How do I do this? We don't understand. It's okay, it's okay. I'm doing it for you. No, no construction activity. It's fully fresh. You burned everything down. You burnt everything down. You're now fully fresh. You're not attached to anything, anything. You're here, here, here. Don't worry, it's not difficult. Just here. You're naturally here, isn't it? It's not that you're doing something. I'm just reminding you not to go back, to look back, because the mind is the voice calling you back.

What's happening, Tatiana? Come on, come on with me. Leave me, with me, with me, with me. No, you don't want to come, Tatiana? No? Yes, wait here, here, fresh. The misery can become like a comfort zone. The suffering voice of the mind can seem so compelling because it's like a lullaby calling you back to sleep. Come, come. But life is here, God is here. Kesha, no, no, no. Come, come, come. All that I'm saying is not so that you can understand, just so that you can leave. Just so you can leave. No still, Kesha. You will never prefer a story over this. Never prefer, never. This is just too good. Okay, come, come, come. No, you can't use this in any story. Leave it all. Also, she, warm here, here, here with me. Here, I'm here and here. That which is calling you back has no power over you. Leave it. Just be fresh, fresh. Well, Laurent, Laurence is somewhere else. Are you eating falafel? Come, come. Yeah, fresh. God is waiting for you. Fresh God, right here in your being, is right here. Don't waste time on some other speculation. Yes, don't be serious. I hope you are too serious. You're thinking about truth too much. Just be here. This is the truth. This doesn't mean you have to become extroverted and just laughing everywhere you go. None of that. Just fresh here.

Who's completely lost with what I'm saying now? Are you back? Is he done? You see, this doesn't get over. This is like this. Something you wanted, freedom? No, this is what it looks like. Freedom doesn't mean, okay, now, yes, yes, right. This is what's happening. Are you seeing this? Can you see how fresh your being is? Just naturally here, and it has no worries, no troubles, no suffering, nothing. Just so alive. Aliveness itself. No, aliveness itself is here. But when you go back, it has the capability to go back and look, look into the past, think about things, you see, and get into that sort of hypnotized mode. But that hypnotized mode is what ego is called, being hypnotized for that income. All this is fine. You did well. Come. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, you'll talk like a good friend. Listen, just leave it, leave it. It's not tiring. The mind may tell you it's tiring. The first time we did this here, the ones who were sitting there here were actually sweating. They were actually sweating for this thing.

Are you seeing what freedom looks like? What a pain it would be to go back to the mind. Yes, this is what's happening here. This is good. Why is this one looking like this? Why does this one say this to me? Yeah, yes or no? I don't want this off. Yes, it really is. The mind's proposals are made. It is not this. This is the freshness of your true being. But how can I live like this? Leave it. It's the same old voice. Terrible stuff, old stuff. You want fresh or you want old, stale stuff? Stick fresh. You have no way to construct this, but we are in a way addicted to that construction, and that voice of narrative keeps calling us back. It wants to construct a narrative, wants to construct a narrative even out of all. Don't be scared, I'm not judging you. Look, or just look fresh. But keep thinking because you have to solve that, that problem has to be solved without it. Yes, is the freshness of your being.

So much, so much just presence again. What do you need? Answers? It's all into old stale stories, stale concepts, primitive notions. It doesn't matter whatever has happened in life, doesn't matter. You're here now. This presence is God's presence. It's the presence of consciousness itself. It is over, okay? You have to, this is how you live. Not, 'What does this mean? Can I really live like this?' It's too difficult. Stale, old stuff, old stuff. Throw it up. Fresh flowers are blooming for you in your being right here. Don't go to some old pasta from two weeks ago. This is how you get out of the conceptual spirituality and truly come to the living of it. What do you think? Don't.

Yes, it's that is why I wanted to come painting the time. Have you been literally painting the town red, is it the town? What I was doing, sorry, no, I was asking whether you've been doing a lot of painting and I was using this metaphor. In English it may not make sense, in Italian so much. I actually was doing my rock noise more than the painting, yeah. And that must give great questions. Yes, that, that is very, it's super Satsang, yeah. Yes, and yeah, I wanted to say hello, Father. Hello, I love you. And then yeah, I see all of you.

Yeah, again with you in this. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. Not there you are. If you're with me in this, then you don't go there. You're here. Whatever the narrative is will not provide any solution to you. You trust me on this? Will not provide any solution to you. It will become narrative after narrative, seeming confusion to seeming conclusions, you see. Throw it all away. Are you saying I'm here? You're here with me. Are you here with me? Yes, fully, fully? Yes. Something still needs some resolution to something, is it like that?

Yes, you say one me, they're waiting for something to happen. It's somehow is here now, yeah.

But what I'm showing you, you see, what I'm showing you is all that you've been waiting for all your life. This is it. It doesn't get any better than this. All that is mentally pushing you away from what you're already experiencing here and now. God is in your heart, fully shining and alive, bringing this world to light while we are wondering how to solve our problems. What is this? That's what happened. God is here. 'Hello, how do I find God?' Hello. 'What will happen when I find God?' Hello. So this is how the mind keeps us trapped. Like if you have an idea of something should happen or some fireworks, but this is the firework you're missing. Look at that. You come to Bangalore. So suppose that you spend a thousand years building up to that moment of freedom and you had an expectation that when freedom comes then some red light will shine in the skies or something. So now, like you come to that moment, you're finding everything that anyone could ever ask for, but just that idea, that notion of that red light shining in the sky doesn't have to play out that way. So does the seeming indicator or the sign have to show up for you to prove that God is here? What is happening to you besides what's in the mind?

Well, the doubt is that everything is mind right now. Somehow everything is scanned by mind, you know.

Okay, just look with me. So this thought is there: 'Everything is in the mind' or 'Everything is the mind,' yeah? Does that contain every aspect of you? Has this thought every aspect of your being? Has this thought going on? No. So what else is there? Is there any other sensation? Some bodily sensation? You can rub your hands.

Then yeah, yes, yes, yes, there is a body sensation, yeah. What else? I feel, I feel the body. I feel there is also nothing going on and it's perceived somehow.

Yeah. You hear this voice coming to you through the computer or phone or whatever, that's also... yes, you can experience the temperature on the skin, you can feel either hot or cold, whatever sensation may be experienced. So much is being perceived, but we miss all of this because we are just in the mind. When the mind is saying, 'Everything is me, everything is the mind' or something like that, I think exactly, somehow it's... sorry, yeah, it's like the mind, the translator or the subtitle of the movie, is the smallest part of the movie. But because we have relied on it to give us meaning—'What does all of this mean?'—so it seems like it is the biggest part. So leave that. Don't be scared to have no meaning for a moment and meet everything else in your pure perception. Besides the subtitles, what else is there in this movie?

Yes, you see, you don't need the subtitle. All the intelligence that you need is inherent in the pure perception itself. You see, everything that you need to know, it's like much more than our mind could ever handle, and that's why it tries to construct a storybook version.

The mind cannot translate one moment for you. This one moment, untranslatable. So what is there without the subtitle? What is then? That is the mind's perspective. Like, just to be here, how can you? You're being here too much. Come, come to the past. I'm just translating it. Just relax. Yeah, but in your, when you're fully relaxed, are you just not like this? Like, what is the effort you're having to do to be here? Like, does relax mean in this kind of heart sleep, like a lullaby? Yeah, I'm open to hypnotism almost in that lullaby.

I cannot translate one moment for you. This one moment is untranslatable. So what is there without the subtitle? What is then? That is the mind's perspective. Like, just to be here. How can you? You're being here too much. Come, come to the past. I'm just translating it. Just relax. Yeah, but in your—when you're fully relaxed, are you just not like this? Like, what is the effort you're having to do to be here? Like, does relax mean in this kind of heart sleep, like a lullaby? Yeah, I'm open to hypnotism, almost in that lullaby mode. My mind will seem to you—don't like it. Back to discussing awareness. She won't come to Bangalore? Yes, please. Travel has opened up now. We had our first visitor from Germany. Now travel—someone from Germany, somebody has come from Germany.

So what's happening? Something seems very stuck.

Oh, what's up? Well, it seems something is with you and the rest of you.

Yes, there is this—like, there is the doubt that, oh my, maybe something is not with him, you know, because I'm here, of course, and I'm okay.

My child, I'm going to tell you something. Um, yes, the lens with which you're looking at this situation: throw it away. Throw. You see, you're trying to understand it in your mind, what is happening. Throw it away. You see, it is not showing you the true picture. Your true picture is much beyond all of this. Is it so? Maybe whatever—whatever the apparent reasons may be, you're trying to look at everything with that window, but that window itself is clouded, you see. So everything will seem clouded. So just break that window and you'll see everything is clear. So I don't want you partly to—I don't want you, I don't want just a part of you. Yes, this is not meant to make you feel guilty or that you're doing something wrong. None of that. Yeah, I'm just telling you that the other part, which is the narrative, the story, the explanation—it's not giving you anything worthwhile. There's nothing there to fight for.

I know.

And actually, once you see there's nothing to fight for there, the fight also is over. There's nothing to fight against also. You only have to fight against the mind if you still desire something from it. It's a contradiction. Like, if you had nothing—it's like this: child, be dead to the world and let the world be dead to you. Then what is the fight? Okay, you only want—you only fight with the mind if you still want something from there and you want to pull it out and keep it for yourself. But you don't want anything. What fight is that? Expose one thought that you're believing right now.

It seems so stupid because, oh my god, the minute you bring it to your own life, like exposed, you start seeing the silliness of it. Yeah, it's more—it's the idea that there is some thought, even if—if even if there is no thought right now, there is something that is not—yeah, now it's the idea.

There's no difference between idea and thought.

I don't know, Father. I don't know.

It's very good. 'I don't know.' People, 'I don't know' doesn't make you suffer. If you start doing too much that 'I don't know,' that may make you better, or knowing something may make you suffer, you see. But the—but then in the middle, the gray area doesn't make you something. It's just so open. Like, the knowing either this way or that way is so closed. The gray area is just—that's where God lives. Everything is possible for God. For that for which everything is possible, what could you know? Again, knowledge is claiming a claim about that in some way, but it's not true because for consciousness all things are possible. If you say, 'No, no, life is like this, life is very fair' or 'life is very unfair,' for consciousness both are—I mean, it is not dancing to some tunes of fair and unfair. It's just intellectual games we play in spirituality. Nothing to do with reality. You're being fair or unfair—nothing is—it's not applicable, all these things. Let's forget about—huh, what is the mafioso style to say? Forget about it. Forget about it. Throw it over here. Just kick the butt in the butt. It's not working out for God. Oh, God is now cleaning up right now, you see.

I'm still stuck in the 'me.' No, no, I'm so bad. Oh, such a bad student, Father.

That snapped. Yes, that was unexpected. You just have to need something to pull you out of the narrative. There was one boy, you know—he said, because I love you, my child, it's all good—so this child said, 'Father, I have this—I have this club of friends and we go out every Friday. We do tequila every Friday. And is that okay?' So I said, 'No, so nice, of course.' He's in the script. So we are Friday evening satsang just because of that request from that challenge. You can't go. You can't go. Did you hear the answer now? You don't have to return to those narratives. What's happening now?

But I can't help it, Father.

What stops you from being right now? Nothing, really. An idea of how that being should be. Being—yeah, this being right now is not good enough. I should be being, yeah, super enlightened level four master. Oh my god. Doesn't have any existence in reality. Or without—what—what—we should go around the room just asking how you say that. Because I know that Olga is—I don't know if she's still here, but she used to say 'hair' and there was a 'ham.' Oh my dear, come on. I feel a little bit good if you come, like, can make some space like that.

Sorry, you feel life can make some space for this to happen. He's coming to Bangalore? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I—I will try. I—I—I—yes, yes, Father.

I can see all of you are meditating and you're being still, not following any instruction. Fresh, tired. But that's funny to see, you know? It's funny to see that just being fed, like, making us die. We want to go back to the sleep state, the hypnosis of the mind. But your fresh being is just so far ahead of it. The mind can't keep up, actually. Who's going back to stale old stuff? Same. Once we were saying that if the mind has already doubled you with something, at least make it come up with something new. It uses the same trick. And how long will you fall for the same stuff? So when it comes like that, say, 'No, I have suffered from you already. You leave next. What else you want?' Then what is left? How many of you are suffering from a fresh idea today? Like something you never had before? Same old, same old. Got the same old stuff: relationships, security, enlightenment. When will I be free? The very voice which is keeping you from being free is asking for freedom. This is the—this is the trickster. The very attack on freedom is claiming to want freedom. Who's not free right now? Who's bound? There's bondage? What do we want freedom from? What do you want freedom from? Here's the one: the mind. And who's saying that? Never mind. As we've gone along, usually they come and they hear he's saying the same old stuff and it goes down. Today somebody wants this. We're having fun today. Fresh materials. Okay, who's got some fresh stuff? Let's see. I haven't heard from Liam in our house. He has some fresh material. It can't be about money, work, security. It can't be about the health of the body, and it definitely can't be about freedom.

So whatever—all I want, all I want is you, man. Now, actually, what I was feeling is like, um, like the class is having too much fun.

No, no, it's not serious anyway. That's the problem.

That I observed during the week that, um, the addiction to checking, to checking, and that you—you trying to find some, like, ultimate pointing that will, like, secure this. And I—I want to go back to the mind, but I—I see that that itself, like, becomes like a stale. That—that—that was what I was feeling.

So any pointing which makes you open and empty is the ultimate pointing, you see. It could just be 'open and empty house' or 'I-O-where-now' or 'who am I' or um, 'just be,' 'be in the now.' Any of this stuff is good enough. So it's not that you have a lack of some ultimate pointing, you see. It is the—just the temptation of the mind to offer something which seems real, and then we can forget in a way, get into the hypnosis of the false identification and fresh God. Yeah.

Yes, but for—for instance, when—when you were pointing us like this, yeah, something starts to—to construct and say, 'Okay, like, just—just here,' and take that concept, you know? But I observed that that 'just here'—like, whenever I go elsewhere, I will use this like 'just here,' but that itself is already like a stale, you know? And so I—I don't want to—to win that, like, a stale state.

Good. So let me give you all a tip, okay? Now imagine that your being is a neighborhood, like a neighborhood. And if you're not getting me, just tell me, I'll use some different terms for it. So your being is like a neighborhood. Now in the neighborhood, there is one plot of land, one area of land where there is only construction happening. It just keeps happening. It's never over, you see. Now to expect that to change is to cause suffering, you see. Or the construction to be concluded, or the final building to be ready, or to track its progress to see how well it is doing—spiritual progress, all of that stuff is just asking for trouble, you see. Yes, but in the neighborhood, there is also the one—one piece of land where the presence is—presence of the ultimate reality is so apparent. But the thing is that your attention is limited. So you can either go to that plot of land where construction is happening, or you can go to that plot of land where God's presence is alive and well. Okay? That's all that's happening. That's all that's happened. So if you keep saying, 'Okay, but as you were doing here, here also in that plot of land the construction was happening'—of course, that's the job of that plot of land. It'll keep happening. It'll keep constructing, keep constructing, expecting some finality. And also there's a board outside that says 'almost there,' you see. Every—every literal seeker in the world feels 'almost there,' you see. So that is the board, signboard, and that keeps you hopeful of the construction activity. Hopefully it will one day stop and there will be great Mukti available to you over there, you see. But it's all nonsense. Just leave that. Leave that. Now in the rest of the neighborhood, God's light is shining very beautifully. There's no trouble. Yeah. Now if you're here, here, here—is it because only in the constructive—the actually the sufferer part of the mind, which seemed like the constructive part of, is where there is suffering happening, trouble happening, you see. The rest of you is here only. Okay? So when this kind of pointing is given, it is just to direct your attention in some way to that presence which is just so naturally and tangibly here. It is not to try and create something new, because that would be our effort. But because our attention seems to be so habituated to go to this constructing plot because you feel like the beautiful house is being built there, we miss the whole life. We miss the true neighborhood of God.

Yes, it's like now when you're speaking, I—I feel like some little resistance or this construction part like trying to—I don't know. But behind that, I—like, I hear, you know, in the—

Yeah, in the mind part, it doesn't want to hear the voice of the Master also because it is saying, 'No, no, you leave that alone. We are finishing this activity. You finish the construction, we will do this, don't worry.' So it keeps us in that resistive mode, you see. Although in our heart we want—we feel like, yes, something is being found here which is so true. But the mind will keep resisting. This guy, he's just getting in the way with all of his open and empty nonsense, you see. That's—we have cracked life, you know what it is, you see. This is the—this is the offering. Forget about it. Forget it. Yes, one of my favorite questions these days is: what's happening in the rest of you? I know what's happening in the mind. You don't have time. What's happening to the rest of you? Is there nothing else to your existence except the understand, understand? No? Yes? Yes? Any trouble? Yes? No? There's a—a space like fully present. Yes. Don't look at it from the lens of you.

And empty nonsense, you see? That's—we have cracked life, you know what it is. You see, this is the offering. Forget about it. Forget it. Yes, one of my favorite questions these days is: what's happening in the rest of you? I know what's happening in the mind. You don't have time. What's happening to the rest of you? Is there nothing else to your existence except the understand, understand? No? Yes, yes. Any trouble? Yes? No. There's a space, like, fully present. Yes. Don't look at it from the lens of your mind. Just enjoy it. You're here. You're here. Same thing, he's here. Don't miss it for some idea of getting.

Don't resolve any problems. Don't expect spirituality to resolve any problem. That is when you can come truly to truth for truth's sake. Because although most of us say, 'We just want your truth,' and then you start plotting a bit and say, 'Why do you want the truth?' 'Because then I can be happy.' So you don't just want the truth; you want happiness. So don't say, 'We just want the truth. I just want God.' Why do you want God? 'So I can just be in joy.' So you want joy, no, not God. So what if God came and joy went? No one seriously asked him. Seriously, what if God came and joy went? What would you pick? God? So that is the courage we need to meet God. Because otherwise, you meet God through the limits of your expectation, of your spiritual ideas from books and things like that, and you miss fresh blood.

So this is the thing. The truth seems a very simple pointing, but actually, it can cut out all the garbage, all the cups. 'I want, I want the truth.' Why? 'Because I just want to be happy. I have tried everything else.' You just want to be happy. You want the taste of happiness. What's the big deal in that? Sounds very strange, I'm sure. What's the big deal in that? And God is making a mistake creating pain? What's wrong with the taste of pain? Can we talk like this? We can't. So this avoidance of pain and seeking pleasure—all these psychotherapists and psychologists of Europe have glamorized in a very big way pain avoidance and pleasure seeking. What's the big deal in pleasure and what's so wrong with you? Is there not some pleasure in pain also, and some pain in pleasure? There's nothing completely black and white in this world.

So if God came, how much do you want God? If God came and everything else went, but you still want every reason that you had to come to satsang, would you still want God? If that is your feeling in the heart, it will hold you in very strong. This idea can be there, or I've heard this often: 'For the first few days when I used to come, it used to be so blissful, so joy. Now I'm coming and only like pain is coming, tears are coming.' So you'll restrict yourself from ever releasing that stuff because you think you know what is best for you. Don't put yourself in these conceptual boxes. No. Allow everything. Meet life. Don't run from anything. So to say, 'Nothing can touch me,' you know all these things, but live it. Let's live like that. Like fire can't burn me, sword can't cut me. So somebody comes into your partner...

And all of you had such pristine insides, but you go with the small morsels that the mind offers. Like you've seen, all of you, the pointings have been so direct and important that you've seen your true nature, your true reality. Where the mind comes about, 'About me,' you know, like she wants you almost—'What did I get? Help me.' Sometimes I feel like I want to just tell you to be done with this sort of meek spirituality. Sometimes just have this sword. Little shivers, all lies—just chop them. Okay, let's go to Beatrice, although I don't feel you have a question at all. I feel you are completely with me like this, like this, like this. And what questions?

Yeah, yeah. I don't care. Just, I don't know. Is it just hello? I maybe there is an explosion or something like, because this one is here and with the impact, with the feeling really, really... what did you say first? This body is here, yeah. It, you say before, I suppose what you are believing because this word is here with this sensation of intensity and these 'I' thoughts also with this feeling. It's like this means that it's me.

So don't believe all this. Don't know anything for a moment. Now. Now. What now?

Everything. I don't know. Maybe you have to tell me. Did you say I don't know? We missed what you said. Yeah, I don't know what to say. Well, it feels like I have to transcend transcendence and but...

Okay, okay. Now transcend with me. Okay. One, two... you didn't come.

But I don't know how to do it. I mean, I don't feel that I'm letting go. Like, are we, you know, like you have the power to letting go things? It's just by itself. Like my child is...

You say I don't know, but actually you—if you know all of this, you know too much. Leave all this. Leave all this now. One, two, three. Come. Done. You can't judge it. Yes. So this one? No, no, no. None. Not this one. Not this one. Just one, two, three, snap. Done. Whose voice will you trust more? Yours? Good, good, good. So forget about time, because the mind will say, 'But can it stay like this? What will happen after satsang?' All that nonsense about emotional time, throw it away. No. Okay? Hey, it feels like what you have to do is firmness. Want to be free? Easy. Like it's already free. You're playing. If you keep playing in the wrong playground, you see, then truth will seem difficult to get or unattainable. Don't play in that playground where you're trying to fix this. You know what I mean by this? You've been in satsang long enough. So there's a playground where you're trying to understand this body, you have to do this, something has to happen and all that. Leave that playground now. And don't go to that playground for judgment about now also. You have the spiritual muscles to do this. It's simple for you because you've been in satsang long enough. Don't doubt yourself and don't conclude anything. Just open. Just open. Where are you going? Stay. Stay here. Stay here. Stay here. Yes. Here, here, here, here, here, here. Don't leave here. Here. Stay here. That's it. That's freedom. No?

No, yeah. I don't feel that I'm going. No, none of that. None of that. Okay.

Okay, good. Let me say something. No, thank you. Okay, you're good. Sometimes the openness can seem too vast and the mind wants to build a house there and conclude some things and things. And sometimes some fear can come, some wobbliness can be felt, some need to determine what's happening to me, 'Is this freedom? Can I live like this?' Don't worry about any of this for now.

Father, I feel that I'm wherever the price is. Yeah, you know, yeah. Is it like a small phone or something, you know, just perceiving?

Very good, very good. But no waiting also. No waiting right now. Like, I know, no, no. Yeah, good. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Father.

First, hi. You didn't have your camera on so I couldn't see whether you're coming or staying.

Oh yeah, oh yeah. If you have to go somewhere to find what is bothering you, then it's not bothering you so much. No, just something... before raising my hand I was so excited to speak to you. I don't know about what, it just was like, 'Oh, I really need to raise my hand.' But then as the satsang started, it's just something like my chest is all burning and yeah, I don't know. There's not much thought, but it's just like something in the body, like very strong. And then you say like, 'Oh, now, now, now,' I'm just like, 'Yes, yes.' But just it's there, but like, I don't know, it doesn't bother. Does it? It doesn't have to go away or something. It's just, it's just ever like right now.

Let's try it now. You say there's no thought, there's just a burning. So don't resist the burning. Don't resist the sensation. And just is fine without thought. Without a thought, is there a notion of 'this should not be' or 'this is bad, this has to go'? None of that. What if our name for everything was God? Burning was God, you know, pain was God, pleasure was God, body was God, the world was God. We just—that would be truer than anything else we can see.

You know, Father, I've noticed like from all of my conversations with you, it's something... it's like, I'm sorry it is happening, but like somehow whatever you say something to me, in that moment like something here, like straight away is there to reject what you say, almost to dismiss it. It's like I can't control it. Somehow it comes up like that. But then after all those, like whatever I said or those things haunt me, something like being digested, and it takes usually some time to... but first I've noticed, not the first time, first thing is just like, 'He doesn't understand' or something. You're saying it's like, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah,' that's still something. It's quite an interesting thing actually.

It's good to notice that. And when we used to have these people sat on the new stream and things, then sometimes we never used to record anything. So we made sure we recorded and then started doing transcripts and things because what we end up believing we talked about is sometimes very different from the actual conversation. And also I see what you're saying because some answer will start coming from here like, 'But he's not answering. Did he even say—did he even hear what I said? Because he's answering something else. I'm asking about Japan and he's talking about London,' you know? It can feel like that.

Yeah, so I'm so sorry if it happens like this. It's just like, 'Oh my God, why?' But it's just beyond my control, it seems like that. Yeah, in general everything has been actually very good. I haven't cried in weeks, which is like a record for me.

So happy, so happy. You don't have to come with a super special question or something every time. It's all good. How are things there in Lithuania? Sangha is good? You meet sometimes?

So, my guess, not an animal, no. Somehow yes, no. I want it in the individual basis I guess more, but not so much. No, I'm like keeping with my sadhu life. But Father, like I was thinking about it, I really did not plan about it. Like I didn't have any ideas or if you don't sit by yourself or something it's more spiritual. It just happened at some point all the doors became close, close, close, close. I was like, 'Okay.' And then after the energy wasn't there, I'm just like, I don't know, it's just so funny if you think about it like this. And sometimes it can happen the opposite also. We just want to sit quietly in a room but this is... yes, but yeah. Now when it comes to sangha, like everyone's maybe more around to Lithuania or even the world, like that, all by love. I'll lose it. Thank you.

Let's go to Jaida. Hello. Yes, now more fresh than the first time. What's missing here? What's missing right here? Anything missing?

No. I'm not there so I cannot speak about there. It's, it's there now, huh? Something, something, something resist. I mean, I don't want to come there, but it's not true. It's not that I don't want to come, that I don't know. You call to this freshness and I resist to you. I don't wanna come. I don't know why. And this is the most beautiful of course, but I, I don't wanna come and I feel annoyed because I cannot come.

I see. So now if this was true, and yet you come to satsang every week, you never miss it. If you really didn't want to come with me, then what brings you to satsang? Sorry, if you didn't really want to come with me where I'm pointing you to... that is what your mind is telling you, but in your heart you want to come to where I'm pointing to. That's why you come to satsang.

Yes. It's special for this week. It's, it's like this. I don't know. I, I feel like I was fresh with you and I was, but for a couple of days I feel heavy. But I feel like it's this story, Father. It's just so obvious. It's all old. It's not fresh. 'I was fresh' is also old.

So let's leave that now. Okay, now. But when you say now, then you reject my problems. Oh no, no. When I say now, you come here, not there. No. Okay, now. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yes, good. Although you're not already... I don't enjoy like you though.

Okay, it's not true. You are enjoying. So, so you just feel like... okay, you went to mute. I don't know, by mistake or what happened. So we see. So, this, you know, this is...

Father, it's just so obvious. It's all old. It's not fresh. What I was fresh is also old, so let's leave that now. Okay, now. But when you say 'now,' then you reject my problems. Oh no, no, no. When I say 'now,' you come here, not there. No, okay, now. Okay, yeah, yeah. Yes, good, although you're not already. I don't enjoy like you, though.

Okay, it's not true. You are enjoying. So, you just feel like... okay, you went to mute. I don't know, by mistake, or what happened? So we see. So, this, you know, this is the beauty of just like this. The mind wants to write this, so nothing is happening to me right now. So what? You stop my problem, nothing will happen. So listen, listen. I am telling you the truth about myself. No, I have a full report. You don't know how the last week has been. I want to tell you, and you're just going on this 'now' here, here. What is the point of all of this stuff, Father? I, I who will speak? Okay, I will tell maybe.

But Father, when you don't allow me, then they bother me after, and they keep continue to bother me. When? What happened? When I don't hear the story. No, not story, but some question. Okay, ask me a question. But when you say it doesn't come, I don't know why. Okay, it's so strange, Father. I, okay, when I'm in your presence, this question doesn't come, but when I'm not with you, they always work in the background and they bother me. So don't leave me, stay with me now.

Okay, no, you, you don't believe me. Okay, you don't believe me. You won't believe me. You do. It's a very, it's an often stated report that it's very unfair. We come to satsang with some deep questions which we want answers for, but we come to satsang in front of you, they all dissolve or they start to feel meaningless. And then we feel like it's all fine, and then we leave satsang and it's back again troubling us. It's a common report. It's not uncommon. And don't feel like I give you a trivial answer because what happened to you, you see? What, what are you in front of right now? Where is Ananta right now? He's a presence, you see? He cannot leave you, you see? And this doing today to meet the presence just fresh is to meet the true master. It's not this body or whatever; it's the true master. But when I meet with this body, Ananta, it's just that's what our highlight said: the provisional gift that the master has given me so that all of you come to satsang and experience the presence. Otherwise, you'll come to satsang also and don't experience the presence in here. But that is just so that when the pointing is happening, the words are coming to you, you can taste them so clearly.

So many times I also get this report that, 'Father, when you are asking me can you stop being or are you aware now, it's just so apparent. And then when I went home, I was saying am I aware now, and nothing will happen.' These things also happen like that. So the energetic support is there so that the pointings can do the mind bypass and meet you in the heart, you see? But it is not there just for the sake of itself. It is so that you can come to a true insight. Sometimes even without words, you just come to satsang, you may not even know the language, but the supportive presence is there in this way and you see what you are. So it is in service to you, my dear. It's not to create a sort of contradiction in your life or something.

Actually no, Father. Yes, you are. Yes, we are always together. Um, yes, yes. And at least maybe I can expose something, is it okay? Okay, because today I realized that I always trapped and fall, and today I realized it was just something. And, and it was, let me think and remember. Yes, there is something wrong with my person, personality, with my characteristics. I don't have a base, which was believed so strongly. And it was not that strong after I'm so much with you because as if you just bring me this presence and I forget about person and everything, and I started to experience myself in this freshness. So no one needs any characteristic, no need any personhood, just this presence works out. But again, when something doesn't go well, this thing again come, you know, like 'I don't have base, my mother was like this,' all this stuff again come and I can never fix it. All these things come and again I was about to believe this. And if with today's satsang I just realized, oh my god, this is just something, this is just some circle. And yeah, I want to say this because I'm just so, I don't know, ready to believe this because it was how I grow, you know, with these ideas and feelings. So I'm just so ready to believe it. So I just wanted to share this with you. And I, I'm still not so sure. I still believe it little bit because I don't know, because it still feels like there is something needs to be transformed. Yeah, I don't know.

Good, good. Thank you, thank you for sharing all that. So one thing to really contemplate is: what is a belief? Like, 'I still believe it,' which means that I actually don't know, but I take it to be true anyway. Could you ever imagine that that's what belief... you feel like belief means 'I know this,' but belief actually implies 'I don't really know, but I'm going to take a stand and take this to be true,' you see? So instead of that, be strong and see that you don't know. Because belief is just the crutches, just the false construct which takes life, which is so vast and magnificent, into this very limited sort of 'this is my life' type thing in the hand. Okay.

So well, you mean this. So when you don't know something, just admit to yourself you don't know. Like, I don't know. But like, you don't know anything. Like, we, none of us know anything here. Okay, that keeps you open. That keeps you fresh and not stale. Once you become too deterministic and conclusive about that which we cannot know conceptually, that's when we start to suffer. In your openness, you are like a flowing river. Yes, whatever comes in the way—rocks, things—everything comes in the way, you just move past them so easily. But you become all stuck up, you become like a rock yourself with this false knowledge; you'll collide with other rocks. Okay. So the instrument that we used to know in the human condition is not a real instrument of knowledge. It is just like a weighing machine which can weigh some measurements of name and form. What is your weighing machine telling you about the situation of your life right now?

Right now, what I say and all these things, whatever this person is, it just feels so far, Father. And I, I, it's like I don't know. You have already brought me such a, such a place, such a state which I don't know anything about, but I just live so naturally. So I, when I even make you speak about these things, I feel like why we are speaking about this thing? They, they feel meaningless.

Yes, yes. You've already passed through that stuff. Yeah, sometimes, sometimes some belief goes in what we call day-to-day life, and that's fine. But that doesn't mean you let go of your higher insights and just take those moments of belief to be true.

Father, may I say something? Yes. And I really have no idea why, as you know, I shared this with you before, I, I didn't speak so much about, but I don't know why I have that much rejection towards my family and just too much problems come through this. And I try to see, I try to look, but I just become so mind. But I, I have to say that there is such a rejection about my family here and I will since childhood, and I opened to this to you and I don't know, it still plays and all this stuff. Everything just comes from this.

Don't start by not rejecting anything about yourselves. Sorry, not rejecting anything about yourself. Anything about myself? Like, I, I couldn't understand. Even this rejecting feeling. Yeah, even this rejecting feeling, don't feel like you have to reject it. Accept it. Accept everything. You want to be free, isn't it? So if you want to be free, then you can't be free with rejection, you see? Either you reject every single thing or you accept every single thing. So you, you end up rejecting your family. That's bad, you, that should stop. Just leave all that. You're rejecting your family? Okay, fine. Then I don't want to be with them, but I'm still with them. Yes, accept that. Yeah, there are many things in life like that we don't want, or we don't want so many things, but we live with them. Accept it. Yeah, accept yourself completely, then all other acceptance will come from there. Rejection of others cannot be unless there's a foundation of self-rejection. Because actually, rejection of others cannot happen unless there is some self-rejection, because ultimately it's all your Self. Okay? And don't hold up some high standards or difficult things you must be there to be free. Just leave all that. You just be free now. Free now. Fresh, fresh.

I, I think I don't have so much concept about freedom, Father. I don't know what it is. So at least we don't have this. Okay, and one more thing maybe I want to share. I see many hands. Okay, okay, this was the important part. So okay, thank you so much. Look at the important part last. Okay, see it in a few lines, two lines. Can you see? Um, I don't remember now. If you give me little bit time, I can remember. Okay, let's, let's see how it goes. Okay, so there is some things which I want from life and I have learned God as a giver, which I was connecting God in the first hand like this, you know. I was praying and He was giver and it's like I'm, I'm, yes, I, I totally experienced this. You don't need to do so. I don't know, Father, I just... so why, why I want, but why this one thing? Okay, so why this one thing is still strong? It's like I'm here, I'm one thing that is here. He doesn't want, he doesn't care whatever it is. So this too is just so strongly here and I don't know, we cannot go anywhere.

How do you know which side of the battle you are on? Suppose you are the CEO side, I'm the God who does not give up. I'm asking how do you know that you're on this side and not this side? Yes, it's, it's possible. I, I can be that. Explore that possibility well. First explore that possibility well. Don't explore anything else is what I would tell you, because I told you this before, isn't it? You need to first know who you are before you can determine why something is true for you or not. Okay. But anyway, I just want to, I don't know, I want, may I just offer this battle to you? Because there is so much pedaling here recently and yeah, I couldn't get out of it. So at least I want to offer everything, everything it wants. Okay, so thank you, Kim. Thank you.

So good to see you live. I, I felt I need to, need to put my hand up because this is something I, I seem to, I just don't do it. I, I, I listen to you satsang and, uh, I'm so happy about your activity on Instagram and as such, and thank you, thank you so much for all of this. But I'm running around in my day and, uh, thinking how, how quickly time goes by without me taking this immense opportunity to just raise the hand. It somehow makes the waking state feel like a sleep that goes by very quickly. And why I don't... it's not saying that not raising the hand is not also very, very good, so just listening. But this is, I don't know, I just wanted to, it's very good. At least I wanted to say, um, hello and, uh, I am here. And this 'I am here,' maybe it's also, I don't know what this means, but in a good way, I think.

Very beautiful. I love this report. I'm very happy you put up your hand and said this. They're beautiful. Now obviously I would like to, I don't know what this 'I' is that would now like to find something, some, some question or some report. Yes, but before you can find that, what is here already? Some like this dissolution, dissolution feeling that, that you are, that is, that is becoming more and more intense. Yeah, if you ask, but what is very good? And who's perceiving even this perceiver of this happy dissolution feeling? Seems different than the feeling itself. Yes, and who is that? Oh, that was the question. Ah, okay. Who is that? It's you, isn't it? Because you said, 'I am perceiving that.' There's a... you didn't use those words, but you conveyed that you are perceiving the feeling, happy feeling of dissolution, which is beautiful. And so this you that is perceiving that...

That is becoming more and more intense. Yeah, if you ask, but what is very good? And who's perceiving even this? This perceiver of this happy dissolution feeling seems different than the feeling itself.

Yes. And who is that? Ah, okay. Who is that? It's you, isn't it? Because you said, 'I am perceiving that.' There's a—you didn't use those words, but you conveyed that you are perceiving the feeling, the happy feeling of dissolution, which is beautiful. And so this 'you' that is perceiving that, does it have a shape, a boundary, any quality?

No.

So, if without quality, what in you can recognize the qualityless? And I'll repeat the question if it doesn't make sense. So you say, 'I am perceiving this quality of happy dissolution.' But this 'I' itself is not an object of perception, isn't it?

Yes. So what inside you can recognize something which is not an object of perception? It's this God that is just like holding me and being with me always. That 'I'... I'm not really courageous enough to say logically this must be identical with my true self, but it's too great to be myself.

This can sound to the mind—a statement like that can sound arrogant, you see. 'How can I say that I am that?' You see? 'I am that' or 'God and I are one.' Something like it can seem like an arrogant statement to the mind. But if you were making it from the mind, it would be arrogant; it would be the spiritual ego. But when we make it from a place of true looking, true insight, our insight intuitively is telling us that there is no distinction. God is everywhere, and therefore there cannot be somewhere where only I am and God is not, you see? And there cannot be somewhere where there is more me and somewhere else where there is more God. So it must be just God, God, God everywhere. But you're right that that is something to take away: the mental resistance to this intuitive insight. In your intuitive insight, it is already clear to you that you are that. So we just learn to trust that more and more and more, and we learn to not go so much with the fear of the mind and the resistance of the mind, which can use these scare tactics to keep you in the seeker mode. Whereas the discovery actually is fully, fully apparent in this moment for you.

You do make it apparent, and this is such a mystery. I cannot understand how, why this is so. Somehow it's also obvious that it should be more powerful in life and with me on the spot. I don't know, but I really cannot understand why this is so. This is so, so great and graceful.

To accept it as a mystery is very good, because in the mind then you're giving up trying to make sense of it conceptually. Now, as we mentally accept it to be a mystery, it allows us to just be open instead of trying to fight it all the time. And then we allow insight to come to the forefront where it's not a mystery; it is itself just so. That's why the seeming contradiction between some level here—at some level it being a mystery and another level it being so obvious. So it's not a contradiction; it's just talking about your various instruments. To the mind, this is a never-ending mystery, and to your intuition, it's just so obvious and apparent. So this development of trust will deepen more and more in your intuitive insight.

Yes, very good. Also, I want to say what you did in the beginning of the satsang with this—am I loud enough? Am I speaking loud enough?

It's okay. It's okay. Go on.

Look, it's good. But what you were doing in the beginning of the satsang with this high-frequency speaking, this was also what's new for me, and this was also very, very intense. This is kind of a thinking, and it was like an escape thinking during this, but I thought: will this be as effective if I watch it later? If I make this my alarm tone to wake up in the morning? Like, 'Come, come, leave this leaf, come, come' like this? Maybe just... thank you for this also.

Yeah, you can try it out and tell me if it was still effective. Thank you. Let's go to Govind first and then we go to Janice, okay? We'll talk to everyone. Hi, Father.

Oh, look at that hairstyle! Yeah, something new. Nice. I can't see you for some reason. Oh, there we go. Okay.

How are you?

Yeah, very good. Good to see you.

Yeah, it's good to see you too.

I just felt like coming up because, yeah, I don't know, just to be here and I guess just to put myself in front of you.

I'm very happy to see you. Hopefully apparent and clear, but if there's something you want to report or ask, I'm very much, very much here.

I think, and I know it's always already there, but just really, you know, maybe just a blessing for courage really. Because I just see, I see where I see the mind so clearly, and sometimes I maybe don't really go for the highest, you know? Like, I don't sort of... and I can't say that that's because I feel like there's anything missing or there's anything that you haven't pointed to. It's just maybe fear or familiarity. But yeah, a lot of trust in them.

Hey, so I'm very happy you brought this up. I'm going to give you this sword. The sword is of Shiva, okay? And it will allow you to cut all the nonsense. Just cut some with you. Just everything that you know to be ignorant, just chop it off. Just chop it off. Nothing will happen. There is nothing. I'm completely with you, completely with you, and I'm doing it on your behalf if you let me. Let me, and we'll clean up all this. I'm with you in the heart. Full strength. Satguru's strength is with you in your heart. You're right, the things which are holding that can seem so familiar and almost feel so comfortable, but there comes a time where you just take your sword, chop it off. Full, full courage, full blessings, full reassurance that only, only what... sorry, I messed up. Thank you. Somebody just commented like, 'Yeah, I want your sword too.' So we can share it, everyone.

I've been good since yesterday morning or day before night. Thank you for just, you know, always being there. Like, it's just the most incredible thing. Like, you know, you've never, you've never not been there. It's right.

So welcome again. Always. You're always in my heart, always. Not so much thank you, love. Big. All this is all love. Everything is. And I hope I can come to Bangalore soon. Like, I don't know what the situation is with travel and...

It's all open. It's all open now. So no guarantee, nothing. You can come.

Oh, really? Yeah, that would be really wonderful. Like, I would love to come and be with you all once again. And just...

It's your house. It's waiting for you. Come, come. We'd love to see you. Sometimes I don't say it often because I don't want to create any sort of pressure in your life situations, but it's not that I don't miss you guys.

You don't say what?

I don't say it often enough because I don't want to pressurize your life situation in any way, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you.

Oh, yeah. And it's like, you know, actually the last—is it two years? I think almost two years since I came. And then it's like so much has happened that could only have happened with me being in England, you know? And yeah, what's amazing, this was the first time that I didn't feel like I wasn't with you because I wasn't in Bangalore, you know? It's like, I can't really explain, but this... yeah, I just... yeah, it's like certain things that I experienced that it's just perfect, you know? And Gracie's doing really well as well, and that's good I can be with her. But yeah, definitely like, come soon, come soon. Yeah, love to everyone. Thank you.

Okay, let's go to Janice.

Thank you so much for being available for us. This is an incredible gift from you. Thank you, thank you so much. Is this your first time coming up? Yes, it's the first time. I'm really nervous now also, and very touched already by you.

Let's relax. Take your time. There's no problem.

I wanted to confirm something with you. Sometimes when I do inquiry, I think my mind is playing a trick on me that I'm trying to look for myself, but then when I think I found it, my mind says it can't be it because you can see it or you can somehow perceive it. So that's really frustrating. And I heard you say, though, that it's okay to—in that moment, is it okay to just admit that I simply don't know who I am?

Okay, okay. Look together with you in this. So how do you do the inquiry? You ask yourself 'Who am I?' and then what happens? You take me through it.

And yeah, I ask myself 'Who am I?' sometimes like this, yes. And at first I cannot find anything, but I'm really trying to find something. So then there's the body; I can feel the body, yes. But I'm trying to find something that is always there, and I'm not always aware of my body actually. So I sometimes feel like you almost got it, but not yet. And it's like a circle sometimes. Then again, maybe it's this? No. It's like a spiral. I'm not sure.

I'm very touched by the integrity of your inquiry and the integrity of your report. Let me see if I can give you a couple of pointers which may make it even more obvious. So when we say that 'I really try to find it,' how would you know that you have found it? Like, on what basis would you be able to conclude that 'this is myself'? Let me spell it out for you some more. If I lost my glasses and they were here, then I really look for them everywhere. 'My glasses, my glasses' like that. Then I say, 'Oh, here they are, I found them,' no? Because they have a particular set of qualities. They have a shape, they have a size, so I can say, 'Okay, this is glasses.' Now, when you look for the Self, is it in that way? What is the type of looking?

Yeah, you're right. I probably have an image of the Self and I try to compare. 'Is this... does this... is it equal to my image or not?' And like this I'm looking, probably.

Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. So I'm going to tell you that it is actually simpler than that. To the mind it may seem a bit more complicated, but really what I'm going to tell you is very simple. So as we do the inquiry, a question may be asked which says, 'Okay, this thought is coming now. Who is aware or who is witnessing even that thought?' Isn't it? That's how the inquiry goes, isn't it? Because you ask a question 'Who am I?' then a thought may come with an answer: 'I am this body' or 'I am Ananta' or 'I am Janice.' I am answering that. Then Bhagavan has advised us that we can look at that thought. We are not to run from it, but we can look at that thought and ask ourselves, 'Who is witnessing this thought?' Then when we come to that, we realize that I am witnessing this thought. But this 'I,' I cannot perceive. See if you can confirm this even right now. You can check. You can hear the sound of these words. You are hearing them. But this 'you,' can you perceive it?

No.

Now, why I said it is simpler is because through the perception you will never meet the Self. You never meet the Self through perception, and you can never meet this Self through some big concept. 'I am some idea' like that—it's not the Self, it's just a concept. But how do you recognize already that you are witnessing these perceptions? So the recognition of what you are is already available to you intuitively in your heart. But the trouble comes when we try to squeeze it into a recognition of perception or a conceptual idea. So without trying to do that, isn't it apparent to you who is perceiving this hand? It's you, isn't it?

Yeah.

So that 'you' is known to you already intuitively. You don't have to do it in some other way. In fact, you cannot know it in some other way, okay? It's that simple.

Yeah. So to take yourself to be that which you intuitively recognize is freedom. And to take yourself to be that which the mind is proposing—a limited body-mind entity—is ignorance, or avidya, or bondage, whatever word you may want to use, okay?

Intuitively I know myself. Like, I do then just already feel that much lighter by this advice. Thank you. And still there is something I have to do, right? I have to also know it more consciously to—no, don't I?

No. Okay. Just don't know the false. The truth...

So to take yourself to be that which you intuitively recognize is freedom, and to take yourself to be that which the mind is proposing—a limited body-mind entity—is ignorance or avidya or a bondage, whatever word you may want to use.

Okay. Intuitively, I know myself. I do then just already feel that much lighter by this advice. Thank you. And still there is something I have to do, right? I have to also know it more consciously, no?

Don't I? No. Okay, just don't know the false; the truth will take care of itself. If you don't take yourself to be the ego, then you don't have to worry about recognizing yourselves because the truth is apparent. Like one has very clearly said that self-knowledge is not a new knowledge that you will attain; it is only the cleaning up of false knowledge or ignorance. So like you so simply and beautifully said, intuitively it is apparent who I am. It's clear. Now, what do I have to do? Now all you have to do is just don't take yourself to be anything other than what your intuition is showing you. That's it. You don't have to become more aware or more conscious. Awareness is already one hundred percent. Consciousness is already one hundred percent. So these terms don't apply to your being and that which is aware even of being.

Okay, thank you so, so much. I enjoyed this kind of video and I'll be very happy if you report back in whenever you feel comfortable. I want to see how you're doing.

Thank you so much. Thank you, all my love. Okay, let's go to Madelina. She's been waiting quite a bit.

Hello, Father. I'm going to be short. I think the work is all yours, so I wanted to ask for your grace to—now the words are coming a bit hard—but for your grace to cut down any complacency here and just keep me in the fire always for the highest. Everything, my own, let's cut everything.

Because you can't even be sure it's complacency, isn't it? So we don't want your prayer to land in the wrong place. We'll just make a big deal, which means it includes everything. Yes, all my love, all my blessings.

Thank you. So tonight I'm going to share when Shivam said something, 'I'm with you now,' and there was such a powerful connection between the two. Yeah, and that was fully with you, with him, with everyone. And at that moment, after my mind tried to process and integrate what was happening, and then he started talking as well, but I just wanted to share with him probably that there was so much power in that moment. And yeah, it's so beautiful when we meet in the heart, in your heart, in God's heart, in Guruji's heart.

Yes, very touched by your report. Thank you. Thank you.

There is something I was contemplating this week with a friend of mine because somehow I was associating your grandson with the giver. And yeah, I don't know if it's something that maybe I may address with Madhavaki as well because somehow, and it comes also in the—there is a Kirtan satsang that's happening with Yogiraj Surat Kumar's devotees and my friend is going to that. And somehow what transpires in the satsang is that, oh, you say Yogiraj Kumar and your wish is going to be fulfilled. And I was talking to my friend and she said, yeah, she gave me this Sai Baba's sharing to the disciples when he was asked, 'Oh, you always give us all what we want,' and he replied—I'm not sure if I'm relating it correctly—but yeah, he replied that, 'Yes, because I'm waiting for the one to come to give him what I want to give.'

I mean, I'm generalizing, but there are usually two types of masters in their expression about this giving thing. One is the expression which says, 'I give them what they want so that one day they will want what I want to give them.' And then there's me. I give me to you.

Yes, that's very accurate actually because I want you free. You want fully anything, anything. That's my gurudakshina. Your head, at least, is not the whole thing. I just have to say that to you, but this has today—it's been very, very strong and I feel its presence in my heart and it is actually your presence. And I have this coming up that please merge me with this, whatever is left.

Yes, yes, right here. Of course, I will not leave you.

I feel this in my heart so strongly, especially today. And of course, this started with Mooji, probably, I don't know when it started, who knows, but the insight happened in his presence. And I knew his words were coming true, that this life was only for this, and it's showing itself that way. So this is my prayer.

Yes, thank you. Thank you. It's his grace. All of it is his grace. Little boy doing his bidding. All this is his power, his grace.

I mean, your words are like—even this being is perceived and tasted and everything, but still this prayer, his wish is there. I don't know who wants to merge, but still this is coming that way, that please merge. It's a deal. So much gratitude for your presence in my heart, but this is all what it is all about really for me. I'm using the word 'me, me,' but I want to say this language. All my love, Father. Your Instagram is too good. It's like amazing. You look so super cool.

What do you mean? Whatever is needed for the moment, it just pops up now. I mean, and today I think we laugh and laugh and laugh and we don't know for what reason we laughed. We were just laughing with you and this is such a reminder, like you know where to go before it even goes. And it's like you're—it's now, it's now. Before, I mean, you just don't leave the slightest room for that thing to even move, and catching that is such a fun now.

Okay, okay. But I don't know, he's just—he's just assumed, he said, 'This is the last month of my life to live and I'm going to go away this month.' I am like, hello, I mean, we don't know what will happen next moment. How do you decide even that? So I mean, yeah, we are just a little bit struggling with that because he has made too much of—built up too much in his head and you really don't know what reason. But his ayurvedic treatment is on. But I'm actually contemplating on the thing you said. No, Father, I have not spoken to her, but like we thought we'll just do it for two, three weeks here and we'll see how it goes. Then it's all just—I mean, I would say just bless him that, you know, maybe through the suffering he realizes some truth, something opens up for him. So I'm actually just offered him to you, Guruji, that let this suffering be a little fruitful for him.

Full blessings and all of you. Love you. Thank you so, so much.

Welcome, so welcome. So much love to both of you and everyone there. Thank you, Father. Marisa is coming next month, Father. She's visiting you.

Oh, nice. Actually, Arun had written to me, then I really forgot to respond. Father, please pull us there for a while. But I will take care of that for a bit. So yeah, whenever, whenever it's possible. Yes, thank you.

Good evening and thank you for being so patient and going through each and everyone's question. I mean, it's so amazing. These days it's so difficult and you are accessible. I think everyone is so blessed over here to have you. Yeah, so sorry for raising the hand at the last moment as well. I have been like throughout the session, I have been contemplating, 'Should I ask? Should I not ask? Should I ask? Should I not ask?' And I don't know. And finally I was like, 'Okay, I should ask. It doesn't hurt in any way.' And I'm just looking for some guidance over here on how I should proceed further or some pointers, you know. It's all related to realization. So this is the thing that happened during the online retreat with Mooji. So we were going through a contemplation, everything. Mooji started with contemplation with one of the participants. I was also following him. What I realized was like when he's pointing out, I was referring something to this inner space, probably because I didn't know what realization is or what anything is. So I wanted some reference and the reference was this empty space within me. And that's how like I was thinking, 'Okay, it is shapeless, it is formless, it is nameless.' Then whenever like he used to say, 'Was it born?' and everyone used to say 'No,' and I used to say like, 'How are people saying whether it's born or not? You don't know.' I don't know like whether it's born, when was it born, whether it can die. I'm like, 'I don't know whether it can die. It's there,' you know. But so following these few steps, at the end, near the experience now that I'm sharing, I saw that there is just one thought going in my mind: that there is no thought. The thought is saying that there is no thought. Yeah, that's the only thought that's going in my mind. That's near the experience as everyone like tries to see it. So I know there is this thought of no thought. I know there is physical body in which I totally neglect it. There is this emptiness. There is this attention towards all these things. And all of a sudden, all of a sudden for like probably two seconds, I just—it just happens to me. Oh, like I am—now this is an analogy—like I am those abstract set of eyes watching all of this. Like I'm seeing like, 'Okay, there's a thought on one side, I know there's an attention going on one side, space that I'm looking,' and that whichever is looking at all of this is what I am actually. There is nothing left. There is nothing in the background. There is nothing anything. Now I don't know whether that experience, which is often referred to as satori, was actually a satori. I don't know that. And now after that retreat, I see that I know like where I am in the background, but that quality which was when I realized it back then, that quality is missing now. I know like a little bit intellectually, a little bit, you know, but over there I just knew like, 'Oh, I am those floating set of another set of eyes just watching. I am awareness,' you know. I became awareness, I should say. Now I don't know whether that's true at first place or whether it was like something called as realization. And second thing, now I know like, okay, thoughts one side, everything is on one side, I'm watching this, I'm aware about this, and just not being aware, but there is the background that's being aware. But that quality is missing. So I need your help in this.

Thank you so much. I enjoyed hearing the report very much. So it's very good that you saw that everything in your realm of perception is even perception itself; you are aware of perceiving. Now that aware, although you use the term 'abstract eyes,' which is fine for communication, but actually it is empty of all qualities, isn't it? Right. So this was not a perceptual experience for you, because for there to be perception there needs to be at least one quality. So it was not a thought, because a thought could not have created that insight, and it was not a perception. But you had—like the mind framed it in a way where it's nice, it's a sweet way to communicate that like, 'I'm an abstract set of eyes.' In fact, it's the first time I'm hearing that, so it's quite nice. So, but what I want to advise you is that even that construct, just keep that aside, and especially the idea of what should be experienced. You have to keep that aside. You see, it often happens when we have a moment of insight that our experiential perception suddenly becomes very sweet, very beautiful, very special, because all of that can happen. But that is just the prasad of the darshan; it is not the darshan itself. So what happens is that is the trouble with spiritual experience, that often we mistake the prasad and the darshan. So don't chase any experience at all. Right now, you are aware of perceiving this voice? Yes. That you—how are you aware of that? The you that is aware of this perception, are you aware of it through some sense, a sense of some sensation? How? Just define that. What do you mean?

It is just the prasad of the darshan; it is not the darshan itself. Okay? So what happens is that is the trouble with spiritual experience, that often we mistake the prasad and the darshan. So don't chase any experience at all. Right now, you are aware of perceiving this voice, yes? That you—how are you aware of that? The you that is aware of this perception, are you aware of it through some sense, a sense of some sensation? Yeah, how? Just define that. What do you mean? Because senses will only give you quality, isn't it? Senses can only perceive quality. So what is the quality you find to yourself?

Actually, I did not understand the question properly.

Okay, so we can look at this. So let me use a simpler example. You're seeing this hand on the screen, yeah? So the you that is seeing the hand up on the screen, can that be seen? Pause. Become more aware.

Yes, the background. Okay, yeah, okay.

So when we say seen, are you perceiving it as some quality or how is it seen?

Seeing, it's not having quality. It's just getting like—it's like it's getting perceived through the set of eyes and behind this the perceiver is there. Like, who is seeing all of that?

Where? Where inside your head? Where is it?

I don't know the location. I just know like—because its location is not in time-space. And what you spotted was very good also earlier, where you said that I took the empty space, like a dark empty space, to be my awareness, which I realize is not my awareness. Awareness is perceiving even the darkness, because dark is a quality you can perceive that. So but beyond that, you are aware of even dark or light. And that which is aware of dark or light or presence or absence, what is the shape or color or quality of that?

Nothing. There's no quality. There is no—no, it's just awareness only. I can tell you like there is no word which can describe it. And also the way I perceived it was like through a neti thing. Okay, I am not this, I'm not that, I'm not this, I'm not that. Oh, and then it just struck like, oh, this is what—like, it's awareness basically itself.

And what's the relationship of this one who got it with that awareness?

They're one.

Yes. Now, did that awareness not have it ever?

Sorry, I didn't understand the question.

Awareness—not self-awareness at any point—was it a new discovery for awareness itself?

You know, the quality was different. It is always there. It is the you. It is not something that is not there and you are going and finding it. You know, I don't know how it is, how, but I just want to point out to you one thing again: is the awareness which is apparent even now, is that concerned about quality or what the quality is now? And if you are one with that awareness, then you would also not be concerned with that.

I mean, the question is totally right. I mean, the answer is absolutely right. But I don't know how to put it. Like right now, it's like, you know, that was like—I don't know how that state—like, there was a difference in the state. Like right now, over there, it just happened that, oh, I have this awareness. And right now I'm like, okay, I'm more of mind, more of this, more of that. And then if I contemplate, I know, okay, there's this background, I'm aware about it, and that is perceiving. And that background in day-to-day activities gets lost. It's only when I sit back then that background will be there. But the first—like those few seconds that I got and the kind of contentment it carried and everything, it's—I think that is not that. That's why I probably give the quality as a thing. But yeah, I don't know what to say, how to say.

So the one that has to juggle between the awareness being apparent and going into the background is which one?

It's one only. There is no other one. I mean, when I say like, when we say like it has to juggle, it's just like you sleep and you get up, you know? It's that kind of juggling, you know? Like, I mean, I don't know why the awareness is lost. I don't know how the process is like, how does it get lost? So I cannot actually answer that question, but it loses.

Okay, so can we look at it this way: that only that which has some quality can come and go, can be found or lost? How would you know the loss of a quality except if you're looking at the sweetness of the prasad again, you know?

Actually, it is not having any quality at all. Like, it's—it doesn't have any quality, doesn't it? I think like it was like—so I should say, so is it right to say it this way? Like that back there, like during the retreat, it was that the quality came with prasad and right now—or rather, like the awareness came with some quality or like which is—which we are calling prasad, and right now awareness is just there and without any—should I put it in that way?

That's a good way to put it. Okay, because—okay, so let me try to ask you: you become unaware right now. Can you do it?

No, right now I cannot. Like, I mean, like after you pointing out, like, yeah. Yeah, I mean, but—but honestly right now I'm like, when I'm—I'm using my mind more to answer you, right? So that quality is diminished.

During contemplation, you are aware of—so maybe what little bit may be happening is that attentiveness or attention may be getting confused with awareness a little bit. Where something can diminish or increase is basically the quality of our attention. And it's, you know, it's—we can come to that conclusion because sometimes I call attention the phenomenal twin of awareness because it's quite shapeless, colorless, sizeless. So yeah, you look at attention. Sometimes attentiveness is not awareness, though, and attentiveness can go down and be diminished or focus. But awareness, which—which is aware even of this apparent play of attention, doesn't increase or decrease or diminish or increase. It doesn't even have that quality, you see. So the only distinction between awareness and attention is this: attention being limited in that way and awareness being unlimited, you see. So don't confuse your attention with your awareness. Even the diminished quality of your attention, you are aware of fully. You are in every moment aware. For you, that which is aware of attention also—try to not be. Try to make that unaware or less.

Can you repeat once again? I'm so sorry.

That which is aware of attention also—

Oh no, that cannot happen basically. Yeah, like, yeah, awareness will be there. I think you rightly said, like, probably when the attention focuses from to awareness, awareness is always there. It's probably the attention which kind of makes it higher intense and lower intense, you know. So I—I see. Okay, very good, very good idea. And you can rewatch the recording of this later and some things can get clarified further with that. Otherwise, I look forward to seeing you soon and getting your report on how things are.

Yeah, I just wanted to know, like, what should I keep practicing? Or like, I did spiritual shopping and I still do, but I'm more stuck with Mooji Ji and—and in one of the videos I came across one of the person, like participants, some senior citizen who said like—who told your name and he said like, 'Anantaji told me like, enjoy the rest of the season, no need to practice.' Yes, I did watch that recording. And that's how I came to know about you, honestly. Before that, I didn't know. And then somehow, like, okay, we—I have been attending your satsang for like two, three times now, and I just found the courage to ask you this question. Otherwise, I was like, I don't know where to open up and what to do. So I just wanted like some more guidance from you, like what should be my—it's nothing like next steps, it's like I'm aware, but I don't know. Whatever you want to give me as your inputs, that will be my gurudakshina for today.

So, um, if you're following Guruji, best is to do the invitation. Have you been doing that? The invitation? Yeah, that'll take care of everything.

Okay, okay. And how do you—this is my last question and I'll end it over here. So now what is happening, now the struggle is—so probably I am looking for that prasad and quality. I think that's why the struggle is, because whenever I go with that contemplation, I am like, okay, I'm already aware about that, I'm already aware about that. But I think I'm hoping for that prasad also to come. And so—so probably that's the issue. Is that right? Like, or should I—I don't know what's missing here.

Enjoy every scene of this movie because the director is the same one, you see. So—so don't bring it into your judgment that that was better. Sometimes memory also plays tricks with us and tries to keep us attached to the past. So never miss fresh God for some memory of God in the past. Okay? Thank you so much. All my love. Okay, thank you all so much for being in satsang today. Satguru Mooji Ji Ki Jai.