This Cannot Leave You (Silent Retreat) - 19th Oct. 2015

Thank you. As we're ending this retreat, I just wanted to share some simple things because I know that some of us come back and say, 'Now it's over, now the problem starts coming back to Earth, personal lives,' and already visualizing how to deal with those human problems which will be in front of us. But remember that if there is a sense that something is a problem, we have already invented the person identity again. So there is no problem. It is not personal. All problems are possible. There's a sense that some of you are getting now that we are away from this, we're getting away from this retreat and back to the problems of our daily life. Don't let the mind convince you with this simple trick. At least let it come up with some new ones that you've seen through all of these trees. Let's at least challenge our mind to come up with something new. So when it is repeating and playing the same problems from the past, can we just from our heart see: 'Is that all you have? The same old stuff?'

Let's use whatever the texture is throwing at us to deepen our inquiry. The same way as you've learned today, as you learned through the retreat, that whatever seems to still get our belief in the inquiry into the identity which it is speaking to—the relationship identity, the spiritual seeker identity, the work identity, and the body identity—in the simple pointing: don't believe your next thought. When we look at this, we must start with the perspective that in this moment I don't find any bondage. Because if 'don't believe the next thought' becomes a personal strategy to get to freedom, it does not work. It becomes a personal strategy, the person using the idea not to believe the next thought to get to some sort of freedom; even this does not work. First, we must start with the perspective that in this moment I cannot find the ego. In this moment I cannot find bondage. The appearances might be here, some feeling might be here, some thought might be here, but the sense of the separate being is never here. So the point of the pointing is not to get you to some point of freedom; it is to remain as you are, not deluding yourself in imagined identity. In this moment you are free. In this moment you're already all that you will ever be. You are complete.

As I have been saying, the ego only has one weapon to convince you, and that is thoughts. But it cannot win because you have the power to see what you are right now in every instant. The power of belief also belongs to you as Consciousness. Therefore, truth cannot lose to just an idea of separation. And in knowing this, we can relax a little bit about this so-called spiritual seeking. Because for many of you, the identity is only surviving as a seeker. The false is only surviving as a seeker for many of you, and you can see for yourself that no other identity has any juice left, merely this one. So when the sense comes that 'I must get to freedom,' the thought comes 'I must find some freedom,' find out which 'I' is being spoken about. Which 'I' is bound? You have not left the destination. Always you have been free, only imagining some destination which does not exist. So suffering will be a laughable concept for you. It's just listening to your understanding.

Then the question might come: 'So how do I know what I am? I want to rest in the knowledge of what I am.' For this also I have given you a simple pointing, which is: can you stop being now? Okay, don't go searching for being. See if you can stop being. Because to search for being would imply that you are not being right now. See if even for an instant you can not be right now. You will see, 'I am here. I am present.' As presence itself. And this much is enough to see that I am this space in which all experiencing and all rising and dissolving phenomena is happening. This cannot leave you. Whether you are in the retreat, whether you are in the so-called practical world, you cannot stop being. Okay?

And then some of you will have this intuitive sense: there is something that is aware even of this being. There is 'I' that is aware even of being. How do I become clear about this awareness that it seems like I am ultimately? And for that, just ask yourself: am I aware now? And in the simple pointing, you come face to face with the only truly non-phenomenal experience. Awareness being aware of itself is not tasted as a phenomenal experience. It has no quality, no attributes, and yet you know it is clear that I am aware. Only awareness knows itself. And this is the awareness that remains through all the states, through the creation and dissolution of this universe. Don't let your mind undervalue these questions, these pointings, just because they seem so simple. So how do I not fall victim to the guardian voice? Just by not believing the next thought.