The Way of Insight and the Way of Faith Both Are Working Together to Guide You - 7th November 2022

Then we will say, 'But then how can I confirm that that the other day was also the real experience?' Because I may have another experience tomorrow which can seem even more pristine than that. So what is the trick then? The trick then is to be headless. Even if in headlessness you are being deluded, you are being deluded; it's not your problem. This is important. So in headlessness, if you are being deluded, then that is God's problem. Then God has to deal with it, you see. You have done your bit. After that, you don't have to dig further, you see. Now you cannot say, 'In my heart I say it said move to Timbuktu,' or something, and then, 'Is this really the truth or am I being deluded?' Were you in your head? You know the answer to that, you see. If you don't know the answer to that, then dive in again. Nothing stops you. God is not going to say, 'Okay, you had one ticket.' So don't beat yourself up about that and say, 'Oh, I don't have enough faith.' If it is not clear whether it came from head or heart, you see, if it is not clear, then check again. Don't have to worry, just check again. So there is no confusion then because the truth is always available. The truth is always available.

So this point is very important. Once you have turned to God, once you have turned to your heart, then the job of checking and validating is not yours. And this is the simplest and the toughest thing you can ever do. To have that full trust is the simplest because the turning is actually very simple; it's effortless. But then to allow the guidance of this heart or the silence of this heart to override your present will or your idea of your current will can seem like the biggest challenge. Okay, you go to God for an answer, but all you get is silence. Your whole will needs to find an answer; God's will be silent. Even that simple thing means trust, because most likely we are going to throw a tantrum.

So that is where we move away from the lip service neutrality of the armchair spirituality into the truth. Upon turning into the heart, how much can we trust what we receive? So this is so beautiful because the way of insight and the way of faith both are working together to guide you. The way of insight is showing you that unperceivable reality of your being and that which is aware even of being, and the way of faith is allowing you to trust the guidance from there without the selfishness of the head.

Okay, so why I'm putting this combination together today is because many times I've noticed that what can happen is that we can have this idea that, 'I came to a true insight about what I was.' So you can have a glimpse of that and then after that selfishness can take over, you see, and we can say, 'But this has to be now,' you see, 'valid because I had a true insight.' And this is a misunderstanding in a lot of spirituality where enlightenment is meant to be like a gift that you jumped over. Now you jumped over it, you cannot be deluded. But this is not true. It's a living enlightenment. It's a living freedom. And without faith, it will be very dry. And so you need to have, like Bhagwan said, both the wings: inquiry and devotion, Jnana and Bhakti. Both are the wings of the bird. You don't want to flap around with just one available to you; you can use both.

So the beauty of this combination of insight and faith together is that really you cannot be fooled. Really you cannot be fooled because I am saying that you are being intuitive when who you are is apparent to you. Okay, who you are is apparent to you, then what you receive in your heart is intuitive. And what you receive may initially seem very absurd compared to your ideas of your life or what you want and what you should do. Or it may seem too simple. Sometimes we're expecting to get guidance which is like, 'Yeah, go move this mountain from here to there,' and what guidance you get is like, 'Go have your breakfast.' 'Yeah, this can't be God's voice.' But you have to trust moment to moment.

So this is the master's job, like just to point you to this because you need an intermediary in the beginning. You start to realize you can't trust the head, then you can't go to anyone who is also trusting their head. So you need an intermediary who shows up in front of you, you see, who can then form the bridge between the head to heart. So only those who are living in the heart or living in the way of the heart can form that bridge. So this is the cheat code in life where, like, you meet the representatives of your head everywhere, but once along the way you meet someone who really made the journey himself or herself, and she will tell you.

So that is a beautifully rare commodity event, His grace, that grace brings up. Because otherwise it seemed like ourselves, something is already starting to hear the call of the heart, of course. And that's why it attracts you to the words of somebody crazy enough to try and be the intermediary. Something's already called you to the heart. Our faith is not yet deep enough to accept the irrationality if we wanted to operate according to our mechanisms of thinking and understanding.

So what happens? Some of you come to Satsang the first few times and say, 'No idea what you're saying, but somehow I keep coming.' Some few may be have also reported that, 'I came and everything you're saying was so obvious, although I never heard something like this before.' And some of you, maybe most of you, have the oscillations of frustrations and tantrums and this and that, all of that because you're finding a newer way to live. Your initial attempt will be to try and include it in your way of life, which you cannot do if you're really finding a newer way to live, which is absent of the tools of the past but present of the most fresh tools that you can ever imagine.

See, the guidance, the presence, what is flowing out of you is so extraordinary. It's like a narrative may switch out completely. 'I want to do this, this is my plan, this is my roadmap, this is how I like to achieve things, and these are my ambitions.' All of that stuff to, 'Now I'm in God's plan.' And to face the fears that in God's presence, what a fool you will make out of yourself in front of your friends and family or the world, that can be a fear. So I've been sharing also with some of you that now I also feel like I'm just sharing this stuff on family groups on WhatsApp and all of that. This is like, what's the worst-case scenario? They'll block me.

So otherwise, but it's a worthwhile bet because if one out of a hundred somehow maybe one day turns to God's presence in their heart, it's worth being blocked and considered crazy by most of the world. It's fine. Beautiful words he said, that love is only love if the presence of God is palpable, if it involves the turning towards God. So love is only love if it involves a turning towards God. Your heart is really beautiful. So then when you look at the ones we apparently love, then in how many of those relationships are we involved in turning towards? Or it's funny how you think they are because I have my daughter.

I asked my daughter, 'Daddy, you know that...' because she's like talking to me, we have good communication and live that way. So she talks about music and parties and friends and what happened in school and things. So I just told her, she was sitting with me, I said, 'You know, if you ever want to talk about God or just like something like this...' and she did not have a crazy reaction. She didn't say, 'Shut up, I'm going, I don't want to talk to you, don't come inside.' Like, 'Um, yeah.' But something she said about Hinduism, I said, 'Yeah, whatever path you pick, you pick whatever attracts you. If you feel you're attracted to Hinduism, I can share with you the reality of what is being shared in our culture and tradition that way. But if you feel like you want to be a Buddhist one day or something, I can share with you from that perspective. You want to be a Christian, I can share with you the Christian perspective. If you want to look at any of these traditions, I'm happy to do that.' And then I really looked at it and said the only river I have not breathed in deeply, you see, where I feel confident to... not the only, millions of rivers, but the main river that I feel like I haven't really...

Culture and tradition that way, but if you feel like you want to be about this one day or something, I can share with you from that perspective. You want to be a Christian? I can share with you the Christian perspective. If you want to look at any of these traditions, I'm happy to do that. And then I really looked at it and said the only river I have not breathed in deeply—you see where I am, feel confident too, not the only millions of rivers level, but the main river that I feel like I haven't really lived in deeply to be able to say 'come this way,' you see, and 'these are, this is the way you'll come to the ocean'—is the river of Islam. So I haven't really explored that deeply enough to feel like I can be a guide in that way of faith, in that way of insight. So with that, if my children say that oh, that's what they're attracted to, you see, the Sufi or the other way of Islam, I feel like with full openness, and I have another question of few weeks too, get the pulse of what is, how is the way, what is the way of the heart in this relation, and I feel like I could cry from there as well.

So really, this is the beauty of the way of the heart: that no real way to God is alien to you. You may not be attracted to all; you don't have to be attracted to all the ways. One way is enough. But you don't have to feel like either that 'my way is the best way' because every river is leading to the same ocean. And if the river has been tested over thousands and thousands and thousands of years, then it must be pointing to some deep insight. So we must not have any sort of arrogance or specialness about that, and also we must not have any sense of intimidation about it. It's like some of you, if you like, although I come to Ananta, but he's sharing Advaita Vedanta and I start reading Shankara and I just can't understand what he's saying. It's a beautiful way, and it's not as head-y as we may imagine. Very, very beautiful. It's a beautiful combination of insight and devotion, devotion. Because that is the primary river which all of us are swimming in, but all rivers always welcome a heart.

God's presence in our heart is the ocean itself. How to approach it is so fundamental to the way of the heart. To feel faith is very, very important, and you cannot follow any, you cannot swim in any river without the faith. Suppose we say that you are a Hindu; there is no way you can follow Krishna without faith on his personality. You cannot follow Krishna and you can look at various phases of his life throughout. Any feedback? Stealing butter as a kid and growing up, he was advising things which were needed at that point of time. He was riding from his heart, and those were in the traditional means of ethics—it could be anti-ethical. I have shared this today with many of you that most of my life growing up, I've said I don't want to follow Krishna because look at what he did on the battlefield; every rule of battle he broke. But again, you know, you realize that okay, suppose he had not? Would you want a bunch of evil people ruling India? So what is right, what is wrong? You cannot determine it. You cannot determine it. You have to come to a point where you accept the Lord for being the Lord, and you have to realize that everything else is in service to the Lord. Recognize the godliness in our heart and then follow, in spite of all the protestations from the head.

So faith is not like a super-rationality, no, that you can say, 'Okay, now ultimately it makes sense.' No, faith is that my sense is not big enough to fathom God. And you realize that although this may seem like a broader topic of faith, you need this faith moment to moment. You need this faith moment to moment because without this faith, you will question every moment of your life. Then why is this? How is this right? This can't be. I have my friend like this; why is my master like this? So that is no way to live while our lip service is, 'Oh, I'm so surrendered.' So we need a constant anchor in our lives; it is undoubtable. And that anchor is always available as God's presence in your heart.

So in every culture—so we talked about Krishna, I'm gonna visit Claudia and we were speaking about Jesus on the cross, he was talking about the story of Abraham. You look at any, you look at the Sikh religion; their main pointing is that no matter how much you think, you cannot find God. No matter how much you sit in silence, you cannot find God. No matter how much love you're experiencing, you cannot find God. No matter how many worldly goods you procure and feed yourselves, you cannot find God. The only way to find God is to follow His command, to follow His will. So this is what I played in the beginning. So that is pointing to following all through. And then if you look at Islam, Islam itself means to follow God. To follow words. A Muslim is the one that follows God. So all the rivers that are leading to the ocean are clearly showing us the importance of this surrender.

Following God's will is the same as having trust in the silence?

Yes, yes. Having trust in the silence and the words. Having trust both in the silence and the guidance itself in the form of specific guidance. So it's very important to trust the silence. That is the first barrier, is it? Because we usually turn to God when we are troubled anyway, and when we are troubled, we want instant answers. Many times in the heart, it's just beautiful presence. But if you go with 'So what should I do?' you may not receive an instant answer. And that can be frustrating because, 'Oh, Father says keep following the will of God, you will hear God in your heart, or you will hear this Guru's presence in your heart, it will guide you perfectly, follow that.' You go in with full expectation. To trust the silence means that remain in the presence of this. Remain in the presence of this, and whether action happens or not, you have done your bit, you see. So while remaining in the presence of this, you may find sometimes some unexpected action came out through you, God. Sometimes no action came out through you, no. You cannot burden it with expectation, but you have to remain in the presence.

Guidance means you go to the heart and say, 'Guruji, please, what should I do? Please bless me with your guidance, your voice.' And then you may receive a whisper. You may receive a whisper or rarely even a command, a very strong command. But you have to trust that wholeheartedly while continuing to remain in the presence. So to remain in the presence is not an option. Sometimes you receive words and sometimes it is wordless. So that is the switching out from head to heart. Many of you have this doubt that, 'But I go, but I never hear anything. No, I go to my heart, but I never hear anything.' But this is not true. You may not hear it like the shouting head, but if you allow yourself to remain in God's presence and if words are needed, they will come because God is a supreme intelligence. God knows best.

Some of you have seen this over the years. Some of you even asked me, 'What do you do?' because sometimes some of you come with some mala or something and say, 'Okay.' So there's some sort of mystery around, so what do I see and what do I do? I make it clear. So I just like God blessing it with the presence I feel in my heart. Then sometimes it all depends moment to moment. Sometimes, I mean, you start with like... they actually are something like that, and then I just usually I just leave it open unless there's been a specific ask for something. And if there's been a specific task, usually I would say, 'God or Guruji, please, if it is the request, but more than anything, Thy will be done.' If there's no specific thing, then I'll just allow it to unfold. So sometimes it may unfold what I'm saying: 'Bless the children with the truest insight into Your holy presence. Father, may Your light never leave them. May we be blessed with Your love and become lights of their own, share Your presence, whoever they may encounter.' There's nothing; it's continuously become like... so the later we hold ourselves back, I feel like this is not some mystical or extraordinary process. It's just a question of trust.

I remember that India and Radha had to go to Sahaja. They said, 'We need some songs.' So I said, 'What do you mean we need some songs?' So she said, 'No, no, songs are all copyrighted, we can't use bhajans, but you need for the album, you need five, six more.' So I said, 'Okay, we'll make.' 'What do you mean we'll make? You compose bhajans?' 'We'll do the next like week or so, this is coming, some of you will do.' And then I wanted her to also compose because I feel like it was there, but she was just stopping herself. So I said, 'Don't judge, don't fear looking foolish, allow your heart to speak.' And then it came like that. So it's a very natural process. So with full trust, even to the mind if it seemed like absolute stupidity. Is the world... this is completely stupid. Okay, I mean what I'm saying is just like, 'Oh, go to your heart.' It's always sound like very, very good.

The heart is a great force, much greater than your head. Supreme intelligence in your heart, and the mysteries of the heart are so unfathomable and ever-deepening. Millions of lifetimes are not enough to really get everything that the heart is trying to show us. So this is the human condition: you have two calls which are constantly calling you, constant in operation. One is the call of the head which is saying, 'You have to do this, you are like this, you are this, make sure you win.' It's all about you ultimately, you know. The voice of famous, so-called famous, which means 'I should win this.' All of this righteousness, and not just 'me first' but 'me alone.' And many times also know that if nobody is getting it, everyone is fine. If one is getting it and I want to like... yeah, Father doesn't know. What if I look approvingly towards you? Then I know, ah, this finally recognizing. So this kind of thing, this can happen in all spheres of life. Spirituality is mostly as mental as every other sphere of life.

And so the voice which says 'you,' meaning 'me,' 'What about me? What's in it for me?' That one. And then there's the other voice, the voice of your heart, which is patient, loving, all-inclusive. Yeah, it is never saying, 'So what you do then your brothers and sisters will see you later.' The heart would also say, 'If freedom is in limited supply, let my brother have it first.' It's a great question to check between head and heart. If in Ananta's life he is going to guide only one to freedom—useless teacher—only one will be guided to freedom. The head can be very smart: 'If I say my brother, then it will happen for me.' So that is why I will say none of these tactics work. This is like the tactic of trying to love your ego to death; it doesn't work. If you go to your heart to meet yourself, we cannot even say supreme patience because it's so full of fire at once, like the presence wants to include everything in itself in that way. And yet if there is a question like that, the choice to stand in front of the line or at the end of the line, the heart usually says, 'Wait, it's okay.' These are based on presumptions of the heart. You can take the usual beats and say, 'Okay, now this is...' but spirituality is to see it moment to find that moment and to allow it to surprise you.

It experts something since she started talking today, that has been like 25 to 30 different things to say to you continuously coming and diversity with the following your words. Yeah, and mostly it is like to show off, to craft your attention. So what I wanted to put out, you see, as you say in your analogy, game of cricket is there for me, freedom of cricket is enough for me, still I want to grab your attention, still I want to be a first-time student in this class and all these things. I want to die by like I saying this attacker finds it. Yesterday was I went to some shop nearby, some five minutes walk, and he went to shop for a while and then as I was inquiring your words, suddenly something you...

To show off, to craft your attention. So what I wanted to put out here is, as you say in your analogy, the game of cricket is there for me. Freedom of cricket is enough for me. Still, I want to grab your attention. Still, I want to be a first-time student in this class and all these things. I want to dive by, like I was saying, this attacker finds it. Yesterday, I went to some shop nearby, some five minutes' walk, and he went to the shop for a while. And then as I was inquiring your words, suddenly something built, and the signs that attack was so much review that I stopped every inquiry. I distracted myself. I started looking into people, dogs, because I just wanted to walk to my homework and become a big problem for my family trying to work, because we suddenly lose my strength in legs and arms. But this heavy chattering is enough. I mean, I don't want to look smarter in front of you, or in front of you don't want to have a competition. Sometimes I feel very... Father is talking to others, he never touched me like that. The others will talk enough.

He said that I love listening, saying, 'What can I see? What can I tell Father? Okay, he'll get impressed or something.' How, or you know, if you even if you're not doing that, we are judging. 'Yes, yes, right. No, no, wrong. I agree. I don't agree.' Nobody is asking for any of that, because values that and you just... it is just your mind trying to participate in this. We are having an intimate conversation; this mind wants to come in to spot. It is very important because most of the world believes that 'I agree' or 'I don't agree' matters. Okay? So it is... you can say this is my mind chattering, but I feel like they come into your life. It's like everything is just happening in the dark, then suddenly you come to satsang and it all starts to become so visible. When you feel like, 'Is my mind always like this or only in satsang?' You have the vibrational support for you to notice this.

So when I'm talking about the two boxes, one in the box of thoughts, the other is the box of love, you can distinguish that through the support that's available. Because also beautiful, but sometimes you feel like, 'Why is it like this here? I came here for peace, I'm getting even more frustrated.' If you have an idea about why you came here, you'll have a very frustrating time. If many of us often report, 'I first started coming to satsang to come to the end of suffering.' We don't know that actually. We have no idea. But because we cannot leave ourselves without narrative, you have to say what... why do you come? If you don't have an answer, you don't want to look stupid, you see? 'Oh, I come because I was suffering, I want some peace.' You don't know that that is just what your mind is telling you. And if your mind could tell you the truth, you would not need to come to the company of the truth in the form of satsang.

You see, the nature of the mind is to oppress you, is to revolt against you. You say, 'Don't think of banana.' What is the mind? 'Banana, banana.' So how is that your friend? You decide, 'I want to be free from lust.' Then your mind is just lust, lust. How is that your friend? It's not your belief, no. It wants to make you its believer. Not only is it designed to make you seem as if you are limited, it wants to dominate. And therefore life would then be a living hell with no option unless you had another voice. That is this, your inner divinity has not left you just at the mercy of this oppressive slave driver which is calling all of you. And that is what brings you to satsang in some way.

And then this evening, clash of the two voices starts because the first voice will want to include everything I'm saying as part of its way of life. So it is probably saying, 'So what do I have to do? What did I understand today? I have to live a surrendered life. I have to follow whatever mind is saying... my heart is saying probably.' But whatever my heart is... so it wants to include it so that you can become a more peaceful person. You see, your work situation improves, your relationships improve. So it wants to do that, but it also is, 'But don't go too far with this. You can't live as God. Can't live one with more. You came here for peace, remember? That is the deal. That's why it's back.'

And that is like Judas's song. And I do this song, 'Gone too far, not too far.' Okay, listen to the song from Jesus Christ Superstar called 'Heaven on Their Minds.' Too much heaven. He's a music... it was fine, it was small, it was... we were having good time. Why did you have to take it so far? Always talking about God, God, God. That, yeah, getting us all in trouble. So that is what is Judas. Judas is the mind's portrayal of a spiritual person. Keep it within limits. Be balanced a little bit. Right? First protect yourselves, protect yourself. So all this then talk of surrender, you know, this outdoors. So check for yourself. See how much, how many of you want to make this a part of your life understanding, and how many of you want to give up your life for this? You don't have to expose the answer. Loyalty test or something.

I am blessing all of you to have a good answer of faith. Faith is coming up again. Not enough faith because it's like will, or the space, or there is no faith. But my faith is too small, I have to increase the light, is to turn the process. Yes, but this is integrity. This is integrity, to recognize that there is something I would not do if God asked me, if I was guided to in my heart, but I would not do that. Recognition is very important. Then what to do? Remain in God's presence and that presence will take you deeper, take you... make it, make your faith stronger. Yes.

So that is not the game that you have to play at all because the mind also can use all of this that I'm saying and say, 'You're just not good enough, you're not worthy enough.' Everyone is worthy. All of us are worthy. But to recognize that my will... I still prioritize my will when it comes to these things, you see? And I'm willing to hand over to God these parts of my life. That to put in your life is very important because Advaita otherwise can give us the best excuses. What is it? 'You are the same. All of this is my name. Whatever is happening is God.' Yes, but the higher way to meet God's will is in your heart a little bit. If I would like to trade and give you my will if you give me a daughter face, you have to give will, no condition. Yes.

So he was saying that way. But today, Father, you're sounding like we had this revolutionary freedom fighter, it's called Subhash Chandra Bose, which he was saying... today, Father, you're sounding like... 'You give me your blood, I will give you freedom.' And I'm not disputing message sounding a bit like that, but I want much more than blood because I have no use. I want that which you hold even dear, which is your individual will, your righteousness. Let's even say righteousness because individual will sometimes can feel confusing. I want everything you think you're right about, whether you think it's right to give it to me or not.

So inside together with faith, both augment each other, they supplement each other, they provide fuel to each other's like alliance. Metaphor of the bird is very beautiful. So your Bhakti and your Atma Gyan will provide a flight to you. Have you seen that after coming to satsang many of you may be realizing that the insight into Brahman is the easier part of the process? The insight into the Nirguna Brahman, your unchanging reality, is quite effortless and clear. But it is the giving up, the giving up of individual doership and righteousness. Because this is the trickster, to include everything in mental conceptualization and keep expanding the framework.

I take this example. Many people in this spirituality start to say that, 'Oh, I live without a plan. I'm leading a completely spontaneous life. I am freely spontaneous.' And we don't smell in that the plan that is the new plan to be completely spontaneous. So that is not true open and empty. That is not the emptiness. That is not the zero being. Right? In the mind's version of freedom... what is the mind's version of freedom? In Hindi we say, whatever comes to my mind, I can do. That is the idea of freedom. 'I should be free to do whatever I want.' And 'I want' means whatever my mind says. So mind wants freedom for the mind. It wants to rule.

So that is why for people like my generation, the next generation after that maybe... sorry, I think I was saying I was pointing at somebody else. Like we have a problem with the word obedience. Like obedience, right? Obedience is for losers. Like, who wants to be obedient? 'I don't want to be obedient to God, I want to love God.' You know, we are parents, who wants to follow? Want to be like chilling with him, you know? This is the thing and it's sweet in a way, but really, really to accept obedience in our hearts to God's will is a very important act of faith. Is there a word like Hukum in the Guru Granth Sahib? Told him that, 'Who want to follow orders? I want to be free. How can freedom mean that I will have a God-dictated life? That doesn't sound like freedom.'

Allow this contradiction. And if you trust me somewhere, trust me that this is freedom. To have a God-dictated life is the highest freedom you can get. What we take ourselves to be cannot have a God-assisted life. He's like a grain of sand cannot have a moon-assisted life. And all our employees will not work here. You say, 'Okay, but I am realizing I am the moon, then I can have the moon as its children.' That voice is the ego's voice. So if the word... if words like 'follow God's will,' 'be become obedient,' which are not natural in this expression also... so if they're causing some friction, and that's very good. You don't have to agree with, but somewhere you have to trust me. Somewhere you have to trust me in this, that the grain of sand and having delusions of mooniness, saying that then the moon's light is in service to me and this kind of stuff is premature.

Only once we learn to serve fully, only then we can claim a seat at the table with God inside. This is a 92... two airplanes. Obedience is the voice which wants to make you into God or share kinship with God is the voice of specialness. Your insight is not being accurately represented by that voice. Are you aware now? Is that awareness special? Does it want to rule something? So how to avoid this pristine insight from becoming the spiritual ego? One people, of course, I share it is if you start referring to it that, 'I saw this, this is what I saw,' not 'what I am seeing,' then know that that is the ego. Even in your own narratives to yourself, 'This is what I saw.' My God is fully fresh. Why do you have to rely on some memory of some experience? Where is it gone now? And that which comes and goes, okay, it's not real.

We started sharing something today about the byproducts of spiritual experiences which can be enjoyed but never become attached to. That's very important. But your... the simplicity of coming to your presence, coming to your God presence, the simplicity of recognizing that attributeless reality of Nirguna Brahman, for your mind also is like a bunch of goodies. 'This will help me, this will help me.' Another one. The mind is grabby. It's giving me gravity like that. So if you're spotting this, very good. So we're noticing the tendencies of the mind. Thank you.

So for a while, the most loving guidance from the heart will seem like it is so strong. 'I have to give up so much to follow this. I have to surrender.' Don't seem like that. And like I was saying the last few seconds, my job now is to make you uncomfortable. My job now is to make you uncomfortable, to stir up trouble. If I was the only 'Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,' after coming to satsang, 'I have more trouble.' What kind of reverse? And he's trying to avoid me. Arrogance, complacency. Your insights are completely pristine, but what you make out of them can cause a lot of trouble. You cannot mentally reconcile both ends of it. You cannot mentally reconcile the way of insight and the way of surrender if you try to make an overriding...

My job now is to make you uncomfortable, to stir up trouble. If I was the only 'Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,' after coming to satsang, you would say, 'I have more trouble.' What kind of reverse? And he's trying to avoid me. Arrogance, complacency. Your insights are completely pristine, but what you make out of them can cause a lot of trouble. You cannot mentally reconcile both ends of it. You cannot mentally reconcile the way of insight and the way of surrender if you try to make an overriding conceptual framework.

I do contradict and contradict and contradict the words that are coming from you. One second go left, left; one second go right, right. And that's enough fire for me. What is burning in the process? Suppose you really were in this situation where you came to a master and there were no Google, no nothing; this was the only master in the world. You're stuck because the longing for the truth is too much. So the master is saying, 'Left is your driveway,' and you go left. You say, 'Why are you going left? Go right, right.' 'I told you left.' What will burn up in that process? Everything will burn, but ultimately, if you continue to follow, your ego will go.

But when I heard the reports from last time's broadcast, I felt happy because so many said, 'We felt so frustrated, we felt so angry, we felt so whatever.' And he's here for the first time; he wants to be shy. Trying to create frustration, really? So examine frustration for a moment. If I said to you, 'Look at the pink giraffe walking in front of you and follow it home,' you would say, 'This man is crazy.' You would not be frustrated. Frustration only happens when you feel you are getting it, but you're not getting it. You see? If you feel it's just nonsense, you will just leave. But if you feel there is something here, but I'm not able to get it, that is frustration.

Because the two aspects, the two boxes which I told you about—the head and the heart—they come into conflict with each other. Your head will come one second; your head will complain and say, 'How jump? What jump? Where to jump? I've already jumped.' And the heart knows what is being asked for. It cannot be expressed further in words; it knows what is being asked for. And this whole satsang is about what is being asked for. You all know that now. These two come into conflict, so like that, that is the spiritual frustration. So what do you pick? And this is the same frustration of a Zen koan.

One time, you didn't want to let me go back without... 'You are not going today, Father, till you tell us how the goose gets out.' He wanted the goose to leave the world so much. Getting you the way, all that I've been sharing. Like, I felt these pointers where I said, 'If to know even one thing was to know too much, what would you know if you knew nothing?' which I felt was like a super explosive pointer, but it didn't land at all.

Yeah, but what I'm pointing today is an expansion of those words, an expansion of those words. And mine was, you know, saying this, that, and then you said, 'Okay.' And then when I went back home, every time my mind started playing, it came back to that one thing you said, and my mind totally interested. And it was so easy for me to know that, okay, this is the grace of the master, how he can just take us, just, you know...

I love the report. I'm fully blessing him. But have you jumped? You don't get that extra large juice, you see? It still had juice. The instruction, the pointer, still has juice. I wanted to extract every drop from that. It's really good. It's very good. But sometimes in the most humble report, so that 'I'm done with this because I saw the line, so I don't have to jump anymore.' No, you jump. Are you done? Thank you very much. I realized this thing, but I realized like the doctor who has sometimes a job to prescribe the more bitter medicine because that is best for the healing. And don't ever feel like I cannot meet your fire for God as well as the frustration. Amazing. I can meet both of them, and I am in service to your fire. Good.

But sometimes I have to keep providing these instructions as a father. What would I want to mention? How is it? You're all good, yeah. But just like my son has given me good training for this. No, see, he was clear he wants to only study in America and he'll be very unhappy if he doesn't. No? So then I had to get after him: 'Okay, if you want to study in America, then you have to do SAT, no? You can't do it without them.' So that push and come. In the same way, I hear your calling, my heart: 'We want to meet God, you want to find yourself.' So sometimes when I give you the homework, you see, you will not necessarily like me in that moment, but it is something that needs to be done so you can see Him, although it can seem a bit hard. So this is such a beautiful report, but I'm just using... have you done it?

It seemed hard that it is the homework. At peace now, like your answers to jump, and you have told us a way to put it hard to find the way. And your heart, your heart is not speaking anything, so mind is happy. Oh, there is no... I asked to them, I mean, sorry. So it's like stuff over here. That's why your heart is showing up outside and seeing, 'Jump, jump.' Especially, I'm usually really curious about this jump thing. What is it? It's like the screw jump or something?

Yeah, exactly. I'm not meant to get it. And I realized it's the first time we are meeting like this, but since that question seems valid to you, then I cannot also then dial down my answer. I want to give you the full thing I have to offer. So where can you meet that which you cannot get here? You will add a little bit of aid I can give you. Where is it possible? Not just with this question, but with anything in life, when we don't get here, then where can we get? Is that all we have? Is our intellectual capacity, is our mental capacity, the extent of our capacity? So if something is not possible for your mind to do, is it impossible for you to do? Is it like that? How is it going? Like a quick report, even if it's two words. Okay, will you know if your mind... louder... is that the boundary of our capacity as existence?

He says, 'Okay, I don't know how to make any bridge or anything.' He says, 'You can just keep chanting on the mind to be of how to make it, and it just happens.' So they keep trying.

This is, yeah, yeah, you go and do it. Then you just go and do it. I don't ask how are you gonna do it. The beautiful sign of trust. Only one switch I will give you is to... in the mind, you see, the answer has to be yes, no, do this, do that. Okay? For the mind, it is the delivering concept. So then the intellectual aspect of the mind is a riddler in judgment: good, bad, great, should do, should not do. So, but those are not the restrictions of the heart. So sometimes silence is the best answer. So we are learning how to accept silence as the answer instead of saying it's not answering. It's always the answer. But because we are looking as if we are the mind, we may say it is not answering because the mind can only work with concepts, really.

So there's a table which has only placeholders for square pegs. Right now, a round peg has come, which was unfathomable, you see, in the world. Now it has come. Where will it fit? It cannot fit there. Does that mean that the round cannot exist? It can exist. Just because the table doesn't have the capacity for a round peg doesn't mean a round peg cannot be there. So to come to satsang is to take you beyond your mental boundary, to introduce you to a greater intelligence. Because the truth that you find in the Upanishads or the truth that you find in any of the holy scriptures have not come from a mental intelligence that is already apparent. We are talking about things in space and things like that which you've discovered many thousand years later, so they're already accessing some intuitive aspect of it, right?

So is it only available for a select few, one in a million, when you have to become a sadhu? It is universal. Intuitive insight, the Satguru presence, the Holy Spirit, whatever words you want to give it, is universally available. And any idea of 'not possible for you' or 'it's too rare,' all of this is this mental block, self-limiting meetings. So that's why I asked you, so that you are aware that you are aware. Through what tool do you know? You don't know it through the mind, and you don't know it through perception, that you are the witnessing. You are that which witnesses all of this. You do not know conceptually or perceptually. So already it is that you exist, that you love. How? Where do you know that? Where do we know that?

So tell me about what is impossible there. I know what is impossible here. Anything which is beyond concept is impossible already. The human existence then would be very limited, just a peddler of concepts, and the best you can hope to become is an encyclopedia. Is that what human life is? To gather every single concept then would be the Nirvana of the human condition? If all that we had was a capacity for concept, or even there is a capacity for concepts and a capacity to perceive. Suppose deals with two capacities, then our job should just be correctly collecting in the head and go see every part of the world. Is that what life is like? Is that what you're finding? Where is love? There is peace and His presence or His being. There is awareness.

But we want to take the courage and ask. So sometimes you can also have the reverse trust in God. If a hand is over, He'll definitely burn it, but it's going too well. It's not just like... sometimes we can have a reverse trust, which is what the mind will say: 'No, no, don't hand that over because that is going great.' And the things which are not doing well, because that is where it's easy to go. Any of that is what? That trick is very good. It's very good. It's going great, but it needs to be current. Then with what instrument can you measure the greatness of it later? We don't know what is best for us through phenomenal means.

Final example before you have to go. When almost twenty years ago I had this big 600-people software company, I thought things were going great. And then one day there were problems in that and I had to lose it. Then I thought that was the worst thing that could happen. What was it actually? It was the opposite. The opposite. You can't release it, so you can go to your heart with humility and say, 'I'm still attached to this outcome. I'm still attached to this outcome here, full of suffering, fear.'

Whatever you thought was going great would be messed up after coming to satsang. To this room, cleared out. Not... you won't be that impolite, I'm sure, but would it clear out from Wednesday? No, nobody. Not that it is guaranteed, but suppose it was. 'What I came for I didn't get, and what I had also is getting messed up.' How is that? That's okay. It's a good one. They can't even run that easily. At some level, we have to reconcile to that. Some level you have to reconcile to that because what is the way of satsang? It is not just slightly different from the way of the world; it's completely different from the way of the world. And the way of most people, if you start living like this, it is going to attack. Whether you want to attack that or not, it is going to attack the others' way of life. Even without you saying a word, people are not going to like your peace. People are not going to like it that you're not getting as agitated about the same things as they are. They call you stones, like 'loser' or something. 'Don't you care? Do something.' Like that person who came and shouted at his Guruji, 'You're just talking self-service, that's so selfish. All these kids outside, who's feeding them?' You will be attacked like that. Not the devil.

Important to accept that you may not live up to others' standards of what is true spirituality, true freedom, true service to the world. All right? And because you're still peaceful about it, it is bound to frustrate. We are like a koan, for example. The world is burning all around you, or by the way, nothing could be happening in your life. No, I have to go through or something. So what is the option? There's the option that I have applied for ten, eleven years, which is that a bit low-key. But that is like starting to go. It's like I was saying, I'm sharing with so...

Of what is true spirituality, true freedom, true service to the world, all right? And because you're still peaceful about it, it is bound to frustrate. We are like a... go on, for example, the world is burning all around you, or by the way, nothing could be happening in your life. No, I have to go through or something.

So what is the option? There's the option that I have applied for ten, eleven years, which is that a bit low-key. But that is like starting to go. It's like I was saying, I'm sharing with some family groups. If something came to my heart, I just put it there also. And then with being sheepish about this, and the risk is worthwhile to love full-heartedly even at the expense of being hated by everyone is okay. And love is only only when God is involved. I spent his whole life and got thousands of Americans up, big families, and I didn't even knock once to ask whether anybody is interested in this. I don't feel like that. Just some ideas of maintaining the peace or not wanting to seem like babajis or something like that. And I'm sure all of you must be sheepish about this to knock on the door. So follow your heart. There's no rush, right? Ten years, not much came in layout, and then the provocations by cooker guard really pushed also for that. And Guruji often said, 'Don't talk about it.' Yeah, it was for this one. It was more and more ending up and playing roles in front of friends and in front of the family and kind of some sort of habit. Yeah, what happened? Remember here also I was quiet about it for so long, but now my heart is just overflowing. Yeah, I'll do a hard work.

Like most of you, most of the ones that were here, I feel like I know them and their parents. And then their parents are very important, like Italian present. So I can really visualize each of you talking to your parents, like talking to her mom about this. She has been doing a little bit. I can imagine Papa, actually, you know about God. Such a strange thing like spirituality. Like in India, most people, they read till you're old and can't do anything else, then make time for God. Here, so many are scared to talk to their parents about God. Excuse me, it's like that.

One side, but okay. So he said that my wife would prefer I go to a pub than come to satsang. The idea of normalcy, which is very boundaries. How do you talk to parents about it? How do you tell them? But with him, even more open your face. Usually, I don't talk about this existence, but that's true personality. I mean, if you open that, then you're very vulnerable. It's just exposed.

Yes, um, since I followed property and then... yes, my husband died one year later. And in that year, I... he passed away. Now it's coming, I eat something in me, but I feel guilty that he had to leave, to pass, so that I could experience a deepening or going my way, coming here. And it comes up. Yes, I would like to give words.

Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. It was one beautiful thing is that God's way is always win-win towards me. So your husband may not have realized that, maybe in some way he realizes it now, that to spend one year in the presence of one who may not seem as outgoing and happy, with someone who's deepening in their love for God and being the presence of God, would be taken as a blessing at some point. And many times, especially with close relationships, we create this demeanor. It doesn't say the good things because you don't want to encourage that too much because the fear of losing someone fully do that. We may appreciate the peace, but ultimately it's especially marriages and things that is our nature to criticize it. But I'm sure that he was blessed by it and you are blessed by that.

And also that the world will not understand this, but I was speaking to someone in the summer in Rishikesh and her fiance had passed, I guess maybe one or two years back. I said, 'How are you? How are you dealing with that?' So she said, 'It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.' Yeah, I appreciated her honesty about that. I feel guilty? No, it sounds good to you. Beautiful to see that. And we have many saints and gurus who've gone through these in the world, terrible life experiences, but they have led to such deepening, such strong meetings with God. And it is not that it is selfish. It is not good to be selfish because in God's ways, everybody... the presence of God for one moment blesses the whole universe. This is just your heart knows. Yes, your heart knows. Your head speculates. Your head accuses me, too guilty or proud.

In fact, what happened one time is that boyfriend, girlfriend from America and some of your time came to satsang. And they were part of some program of reforming these young kids who had gotten into like bad habits and crime and things like that. But they were in this program now to reform their lives. So these two kids, they met over there and started going out together. So I heard about this. Guruji called one of them, the boy, and the boy said, 'I'm so happy I'm going to get to spend the rest of my life with her and you know, this is the best gift that life has given me' and things like this. Then when I went there that day, there was an accident. We were in some other place when an accident happened. And in a white water rafting accident, the boy passed away. Again, the boy who was just reporting that he's so happy. And this girl who was his partner was there. So he went and met her. And because he was talking to her and then of course after comforting her and everything, he said, 'One day you will see the grace in this.' And this kid who was hardly nineteen, nineteen, twenty, she said, 'I already do.' He said, 'I already do.' It really touched me so deeply to hear that from a young child. So Grace is so unfathomable how it comes to our life and we just can't judge what is good and what is bad.

It's very good like to release all of this because these are the branches of conditioning. These are the branches of conditioning that the mind can use to oppress you over and over, make you guilty and you will be bad. Is it fully? It is very important. Never feel that you're taking too much time or distracting us. Never feel you're taking too much time or distracting. Yeah, yeah. This is your space. Everybody is my child here. See, the thing is like honestly, I know that the mind doesn't know what is good for you. Sometimes the priorities it places before us and the things it says, those are not necessarily the most helpful for your heart. Become a little more like... I've become a little less. I'm so glad that she gave me a call and I was like, 'All right.'

Thank you. They're in frustration. What is burning? It is that what you want to be free from. So will you encourage the frustration? The problem is the more you encourage the frustration, the lighter it becomes. You have to resist it for it to get more pure. But once you know this master key, oh, more of this frustration? I will try again tomorrow. As I was talking about resistance also, the minute you call it resistance, it is no longer such a strong resistance. If you were saying, 'But I am so right about this, I can't say anything, you know, this is something, this is not right, I don't like the way he's become easy,' this kind of story, then we don't spot it as resistance. That is when it is troublesome. If you can see it as a resistance and say, 'I'm resisting,' already half the venom is gone. Resistance is total resistance when it seems like righteousness, not resistance. To spot this lining spots or the tricks of the mind is a meditation. I'm willing to do that. Like what would you do with meditation? Be aware. So it does not have to... yeah, to just what you are calling meditation, which is... as you open and empty, all this gets released. And some of it, like don't even get attached to the notion of release. There's a lot which just vanishes, which you will have no memories that you even had. To the power of God present, many of it just goes. It's like a disease you had which you were getting treated for or you wanted treatment for. It was very painful, but one day you wake up and you don't have it and you have no memory of it also, or maybe just like a wee recollection.

No, not me. I see I reached the point that Erica said, 'Why?' Because I have to be efficient or whatever. But still, I can watch it and I can...

Yeah, that means perspective. How many moments of God's presence are you willing to spend on the bad situation? I'll just get everything. Second one: can the bad situation not be handled with God's presence? It's been showing me again and again the guest who arrived and now arrives three days later. I know that, but here it seems to just, you know, I think you have that frustration of some olive plates. It just seems to be wait here. I don't know, but like it just feels very awful. And the funny thing is, and I mean the good part is, that the one I'm shouting at doesn't react. So yeah.

Thank you. So can you... the need to like to show to yourself or to whatever that you're right to your... like leaving it would be to what? To accept that it's okay. It's okay. It doesn't mean that you have to become passive about it. I'm just saying that it is... why can't you be in God's presence and then if Shiva has to come out and Shiva have to come out? But not to other... Ram came out, right? You can be true only to yourself about that.

No, I don't. So that, that's my excuse. Yeah, but I, I can't see the reasons.

Did you really give an opportunity for like Saraswati to come out? Only Shiva? I'm not even listening anymore. We got them. Any aspect of God can come out or no aspect. But when we sometimes preempt and say, 'No, no, I'm going to be in God, but only Shiva also come.' No, I never said any such thing. I'm taking all the various permutations the mind can use to make excuses for not being in God's presence. And the smallest situation is equal to the biggest situation. There's no levels in this really. It can be like a bad situation or a so-called life in that situation. So now what to do with it? The best antidote for anything: God. It is that Ayurveda tablet that cures all in or finishes you on either way. I erase that somehow.

I make this measurement, but I should be able to say this or at least I did not work.

Yes. What does it mean? I realize this not only it's not possible, it's not possible. Yes. But it's just like love. You can say love, like you can say God, but to really what is it? And I really come... yeah, because I don't really understand in the sense of I can't believe what does it mean. But we all know. Same, same for God. It was creating the motion a little bit, trying to get it.

Yes, you put it too twice as a... don't try to squeeze it into your head. You can feel that till I am able to conceptualize it, I am not meeting it fully. And that is just not true. In fact, the other way around. You have notions of it, you start relying more on that than the true meeting of it. With a Pandit syndrome, become more that in terms of quoting scripture and quoting English and that, rather than freshly meeting other roads are huge problems. Yes.

We all do. And that is the ego, he believed, disguised in the form of 'I have to be creative.' I'm just exposing him. There's no need to keep this thing and think about it yourself. Creativity was not just copying something and you had to do it from your own imagination. Yes. And like I realized like conditioning and all of that, in many ways it is seen like a positive conditioning to have to try and be creative, to be original. So much trouble over the years I've seen it cause so much trouble because many of especially the youngsters, many times they just don't listen. Blazers like, 'Okay, Father's saying this. What do I think? Um, okay, now for me, you know, this was better.' So then what I mean, ABC becomes the XYZ and what they have got from him could be very different. That's why these days I've just been saying follow, just follow. Because what you're taking to be understanding is actually a botch project, actually a corruption.

I've seen it cause so much trouble over the years. I've seen it cause so much trouble because many of, especially the youngsters, many times they just don't listen. They're like, 'Okay, Father's saying this. What do I think? Um, okay, now for me, you know, this was better.' So then, what I mean, ABC becomes the XYZ, and what they have got from him could be very different. So that's why these days I've just been saying: follow. Just follow. Because what you're taking to be understanding is actually a corruption of what is being shared. What's wrong in this following? Somebody's already cooked. No, unless you find the chef unworthy.

It feels like what you just said, that other conceptually... but if I don't value what the other one is saying, why is that good enough? There's already a judgment. I mean, then it's like, just, I know you just forget about it, or you've got to prove you're better. All right, right now, original or whatever, right now.

Follow me. There's two things you have to be obedient to: the outer form of the Master and the inner voice of your heart. You have to be obedient to both. One is provisional; the second is permanent. So provisionally, you have to follow this outer voice as obediently as possible, and inwardly, your heart. These two. The first is provisional. It will get... the provisional one tells you a story to be just obedient. Don't do my heart, yes, to be open to your heart, to be in the presence of your beingness, or being the individual inside, and to follow the guidance unwaveringly. If there is guidance, which is safe, you don't know. It will happen as you stay more and more in this. Be very natural. It will become more natural than taking our mind's advice.

Okay, let me drill down on this because I'm sensing a lot of confusion about this. So as you are in the heart, you see, as you're in the heart, everybody knows in the heart when what you are is apparent to you. You see, that is to be in the heart. As you are in the heart, some actions will unfold naturally with the sharing of satsang. So right now, I'm being fully obedient to my heart because it's just heart to heart. So this is obedience good enough. There is another form of guidance which may come, which may say... a Guruji had that, he just felt inwardly to just quit the job. Follow, please follow me. And while it seemed like it is not clear what is the guidance, but you're like, 'Okay, see, just quit or just do it,' you know? And you can go back.

With the presence in your heart, you can be completely conversational. So you don't have to say 'Father.' I'm saying 'Father' because that's how I look at it. So whichever way you like to address the holy presence in your heart can be very, very open. But don't try to just be like very buddy-buddy types, because although it's very sweet to be buddy-buddy type, in the buddy-buddy, a lot of time the obedience goes for a toss. Next, I just feel like I'm in so much awe of God. I don't find it to be naturally very belly-to-belly. I just feel like, as I was sharing the other day, you know, that I had the honor to be able to utter the word 'God.' That itself seemed like such a privilege to me. Can't imagine Him now, the magnificence of God beyond any human conceptualization possible. The mysteries of my heart are so deep. The more I dig, the sweeter and deeper and more magnificent it gets. I don't know whether I've just started to scratch the surface. It does feel like that.

So that's why my advice is to not put it in a mold which is too restrictive. Okay, we can, in our attempt to relate, if you put God in a mold which is too limiting, then we may be falling for a mind trip. Also, allow it to be like... allow one toenail of God that you can hold on to, and allow the rest to be unfathomable. Because even that toenail is actually not God, but we need a room, we need something at the least, because the mind... God is a complete mystery anyway. So sometimes in our attempt to make a relationship, which is what I'm advising you do, we may make it very constructive in terms of our old framework. It's like you're trying to get into a marriage with an ocean. So you can try to grasp a wave and hope that, you know, that is connecting you deeply in your heart for the relationship to be fruitful. But if you put the ocean too much in a human world, then I feel like you do not enjoy the depth of the possibility of this relationship. So the younger ones, if it helps you to start with by saying to God, 'Yo, what's up bro? How's it going?' it's okay, maybe at the start. Okay, don't make it a way.

I've noticed there's a part of me that creates silence, but there's another part of me that... this is such a thing.

This is the human condition. The head of all silence, the head and opposite. It's just like it feels like he's losing all its power in your silence. So then your heart and this... and you can clarify for me if the silence... the silence of the heart is not just absence of words. The silence of the heart is not just an absence of words; it is the presence of being. Which is fine, which is also fine. The real silence is the absence of egoic belief. The presence of being is back to people, and something is really... it is that very silence which is calling you. That's why you come to satsang. It is silence which calls us. So you don't have to worry about solving it, you see, at the level of the noisy one. Go to the silent one. Stay with that. Nothing can actually shake you out of there. Like the whole world can start erupting and things like that, but if you really want that, nothing can shake you out of that. But if it gives you some guidance in terms of how to amplify that in your life, you can also follow that. All these moments of friction between head and heart actually enable us to look deeper as well. So in that way, we can be grateful.

So you just mentioned that during the time when you have the resistance to go inside, that's the time we should really inquire more.

You will be able to, yes, if we can, if we can. But many times when these moments are on, we are just like too caught up in them to go to our heart or inquire. All that seems out of like some other planet; it doesn't seem like interesting. So don't worry about those moments. What I'm suggesting is that the minute you start to notice that you're getting caught up in your mind, the instant you start to notice that... your mind will provide you now, because you're spiritual, the mind will provide you emotions of, 'Oh, see, you are so caught up in your mind. I saw the way to do it, you see it through, you're not going to get rid of this, you're wasting time.' You see all of this stuff. Instead of doing all of that, the minute there's some space, don't go for all these thoughts. That moment, drop into your heart. The minute you get some relief, it's like you stepped out of the house thinking the tornado is over. Actually, the tornado is still on, really. So whether you're stuck in the thing, then you're stuck in the thing, yeah. So the minute it settles for a moment, just rush back home. Don't try to evaluate the tornado from within the tornado or make judgments about it. Come back to your safe space.

And all of this what I'm saying is, I'm not saying that advocating learning from any situation in life unless that is what your inner guide is proposing or that is how it is playing out in the presence of God in your heart. And naturally, if it is playing... right now I'm just providing the inner metaphors for your inner condition. Thank you. Sometimes the instant you retreat into your heart is when outwardly you may become a lion. You don't know. Or sometimes you retreat into your heart and outwardly you may become a sheep. What is not clear? Obedience is clear. So in most situations, just in the open and empty, how it is playing out is good enough obedience. But if guidance is palpable, then follow. And if you don't follow, then again, no guilt, no 'I didn't follow,' nothing, nothing. Just return again to your heart. Because the heart is not really keeping score, such a contrary to what we may have imagined it to be. It's not... there's no spreadsheet there saying, 'Five follows, three didn't follow.' Therefore, the instant you're back to the presence, all past, future, everything is wiped out. This whole universe is my dream. So it is not about trying to resolve someone between your... try to become better for the future moment. Moment to moment, it's like you're walking on Airport Road, then suddenly now you're swimming in the river. Inwardly, the changes inwardly.

But good things happen nowadays, like I'm really shouting to someone.

It's really funny when it happens, actually. If you are making that report with full integrity, which is that you're just fully open and empty with the heart, but your outer expression seems to be getting maybe kind of... I feel like this expression is different from two, three weeks later. I can't predict these things. Different process. You said there were two, three things happening. Well, it happened multiple times, such as the same thing happened. Who are you shouting at? Family? No one was spared. That is not jumping on the way. Then somebody tries to sell you a credit card or something. Ah, this is my chance, okay! And they are shouting, 'Why I need to listen to that language?' I think all these people who we shouted at, they are really trained to represent. We probably just put it on mute. Must be part of the training. That's why they also tell you that the call is going to be recorded for... if not for their quality, for our quality. That is a subtle way of telling you this. Watch.

You move closer, you said further. Um, okay, I would have kind of like a pause in my life. There's nothing much happening. Pause into the good breed. I wasn't like really doing anything outside in real life. Sometimes the question, I think, what's happening?

That was very good. Unless you feel God and clear in your heart that you want to jump back into that boom, this is because it gives you like the humans... I had after meeting Guruji, and we had a few months like this where everything was on pause externally. The one moment of turning to God makes your whole life in the right direction. Is that just now, fresh? There is no past left. And you can check with your own experience. Tell me if there's a past. What would be the best use? Like, what would be not a wasted life? Collected a million dollars?

I don't want to go this way. I want... but I want to be in the right direction. I don't know if I am.

You're here. Tell me something. Happy once you find yourself in the right spot, then how is it possible to not be grateful for everything that got us to that point? I feel like it's a very, very straightforward guidance. This is Chelsea, comes invisibility when they're saying good stuff. Take it too, yeah. But really, more than anything, every parent wants their child to be happy. But do you feel the condition intensity? I can't live. Why not? Don't feel like you don't have to. I don't feel like that's your expression. I need you, but you don't have to convince them that you are right or okay. You appreciate when you're coming from the intention, of course, to... if you let me open this anymore. That guy's got lost somewhere. Content with him. We cannot resolve any of the true questions through the head. You can compute ourselves through the right answer. So contemplations are based on in the heart, yes. So in satsang, when someone is a contemplation, 'I'll contemplate this,' so this is a worthy contemplation when you bring it with your intuitive insights. Because I was not able to help us with these kind of things, but there are still these tendencies, factors, yes. Because you cannot untangle it by tangling it more.

We cannot resolve any of the true questions through the head. You can compute yourself through the right answer, so contemplations are based in the heart. Yes. So in satsang, someone says, 'I'll contemplate this.' This is a worthy contemplation when you bring it to your intuitive insights, because the head is not able to help us with these kind of things. But there are still these tendencies, factors, yes. Because you cannot untangle it by tangling it more, is it? So if the notion—suppose you believed in a notion called Manonasha, the dissolution of the mind to come to rest in the true Self—some may believe that you need to come to Manonasha, saying, 'When will it happen? Why is it not happening yet?' But that is the counter; that is not Manonasha. So do you have to detangle or untangle this by stepping away from it, not by trying to make it all straight? Is it clear up all the knots? It is meant to be naughty in both ways. It is meant to tempt you and say, 'Come, come, we will solve it here. How to fix the mind?' Then you're just playing with Lego blocks; you're placing them in different places feeling that new formation is better.

But I used to say this often: that today's conclusions are tomorrow's confusions. So if you're making like a fresh new approach now, your determined help, that's also going to bother you tomorrow. The only way out of it is to transcend it. Do you feel like there is another place to go? In the sense that one is the head region, you feel like there's a spiritual head and a worldly head and you have to juggle between the two? It's very strong. But at the same time, what is the way to do it? Do you feel like the best guidance towards becoming the best human being, let's say, would come from where? You know, because the world has been working on this problem for centuries, right? And we keep switching between categorical imperative, utilitarianism, this, that. Nobody can decide what is the best way to be. We keep jumping from religious understanding to ethical understanding to ideas of justice and all of that. But it cannot be done that way. It has to be lived moment to moment, following God's light, Heart's presence, because there is no contemplation possible. And I feel that as humanity, we should figure that out by now—that it can't be figured out.

See, some of these things we should just be. And there are philosophers actually, Wittgenstein and many others, who actually said that some things are beyond the realm of human reason and they can be met only by a deeper intelligence. So anyone who truly looks at this, I feel like, drops into the heart to find the answers. You find the thermocol nature of mental solutions; it's so lifeless, and just like, so selfish and tactical. Once you start dipping into the river of your heart, this dry conceptual existence, you won't enjoy it so much. But this stuff that's so entertaining, the other trick—the mind is like a without-ticket stand-up comedian. It used to pull him so much with this. Every time I would talk to him, it would make a funny joke. So then, what the mind is saying? You looked at it a few times and now he's over there coming in his head. But the mind can wear any costume to keep your attention and belief. Some get very involved in wordplay. That was just like, a few times to laugh, and then afterwards, 'Oh, this is a pattern.' Can you see? Either it becomes like very funny or it starts making some very interesting rhyming words. It can just create metaphors because it hears metaphors in satsang. They feel like, 'Oh, that's okay, so I can do all of this.' All these tactics.

And learning all kinds of tricks to pull you out of your mind. My daughter came up that day, some of you saw, crying, crying. One friend of hers was very mean to her. Thankfully, the way she came was a bit concerned actually, and I was saying, 'See, but this is this thing I was trying to tell her.' So I said to her, 'Don't think of a banana and the mind will show you a banana.' She's like, 'No, it's not showing me a banana. No, it's really not.' I said, 'Okay.' This is like, you know what I did? They had gifted me this very nice box of some very fragrant soap, okay? So I opened that soapbox and made her smell. I said, 'Smell this.' So she smelled it, and for a minute, she went out of her head for a moment, you know? And then also she felt better. So that's why maybe that's why all certain places they have so many flowers; they bring you out of your head into perception. No, perception is not troublesome. In Buddhism they have a stronger way.

To watch your audio, video, that itself, it is so scared to like allow me to watch it. Small, small bags. So you want to watch the satsang, but the mind resists too much.

Yes, yes. What does it say? It doesn't want me to pick up that. You like all the responses? Okay. Something is working somewhere. The mind is getting so scared. As long as you keep showing up, you're okay. Your mind never wants to leave its dominance. It would love a spirituality where it can give you the game, yeah? Understood. Every time it plays like that, it takes words from the satsang and just repeats them to you. So it wants to keep that, keep conceptual knowledge, so that the box of thoughts becomes the ruler of this life. So it's on a mission to gather as much as it can capture so that it can keep that dominance. That with the insight, so having with the fire in your heart here, we're not sharing any like long-term spirituality. I'm not saying, 'Okay, now this is step one, you keep going like this and in ten years you will come to the Darshan of Brahman and after that then you become a sadhu or something.' Whatever I have is an offer to all of you for satsang. Or ten thousand satsangs. The expression may keep changing, but are you finding it very different today? Same camera every time, same person, and otherwise doesn't change.

But like, I guess so, that's what I want to say. And yeah, I think just keep pulling your heart. So it's really like, I would say a practice, but it feels like very natural to get back to the heart. Like, how do I get... the sense that like anything happens and you feel uneasy, and then there's an inquiry like, 'Who's this? Who's playing this?' or who's it happening to? Automatically, like there's no answer obviously, but it automatically goes back to being herself. And so there are a lot of instances that it happens and all that. But the question is like, is it okay to make this as practice or is it happening naturally? So maybe my mind is making it like...

You see, mostly what happened for most of you is that you recognize that you're in the head, you naturally go to the heart. Now there will be times where it will seem very compelling. The topic, the decision, the whatever nonsense it is proposing will seem like, 'No, no, you have to be here now.' For that, you may need some sort of a tool. Now the tool could be as simple as my pointing of open and empty. The tool could be an inquiry. The tool could be a mantra. The tool could be anything. It could be any pointer in satsang. Whatever gets you. It could be bowing down and surrender. It could be okay. So all those, the content of the tool is not important. It is just that you felt like you needed to come in the heart where, again I'm saying, ninety-nine percent of the time you won't even need a tool. You're just noticing, you know? You noticed. So then it is in the process of hypnotizing, but you caught it. But sometimes you feel like you're in the... you're winning. It's like, 'What am I doing with my life? Am I wasting it? Where is the money? Where is the security?' That kind of hypnosis, then you get stuck in that. So then when you're fully stuck, nothing you can do. It's just like, 'Where's my security? What's going to happen?' you know, something. But then there comes the time, because you're giving satsang or because your heart is calling you, you just notice it and say, 'That's it.' When I start to notice the head stuff but you still feel like it's too strong, then you can ask, 'Who am I? Whose security?' That way, the thing is that the balance the teacher has to walk is not to over-systemize it while making it like an approachable policy. Because if I over-systemize it, it will become a system which will become conceptual. But if I don't, if I leave it, then you feel like it should work, and then for the second one you need like to really jump.

The jump is from understanding, quote-unquote understanding, now to spend a life in your heart. The way you will prevent the head from posing as if it is the heart is for you to allow the mystery. Allow the mystery. The job is not to bring everything to the level of the head. The job is to dive into the mystery and swim in this beautiful river without knowing where the bank is, where it starts. Otherwise, your spiritual head will pose as if it is the heart. So what happens is that as I'm sharing, sharing, sharing, the mind will capture all these concepts and what I call the spiritual compartment of your head will be full of satsang concepts. Okay? So then it will pose as if it is the heart because it will say the words of satsang, but you will be able to smell it, you know? You'll be able to smell it. It doesn't have the fragrance of my Master; it just has like the words. But many times it can trick you because the words seem so like exactly. So you will fall for it when you are craving for an understanding of spirituality rather than allowing the mystery that spirituality really is. Like God is a mystery; you cannot be fathomed. You can hang on, try and hang on to the toenail so that you have a connection with Brahman, but you cannot expect to have a full embrace. You can only take a dip in the unfathomable mystery that is Brahman.

So that anytime you feel like now you're cracking it, 'Tomorrow it's clear,' you know, like that, then notice that that is the sign of spiritual ego. Okay? That is a sign of like a conceptual understanding being made out of God. It must make you like full of wonder every day. If you receive satsang here, it's fresh. First you are told that you are not a thing, you're more like a verb. You're not a thing, you're more like a witnessing. And you're saying that even that witnessing actually is not doing. So actually it doesn't have the quality of even doingness about it. You see? So what you've been told? What are you being told? What are you? Where are you? So don't ever allow the words like Atma, awareness, Consciousness, all of these things to become like closed, because those are just pointers. Your mystery, your reality is unfathomable to your mind, but in your heart you meet it. But in the heart, the attempt is not to grasp, you see? It's too fragrant in the light of that, the presence of that. So it teaches us, totally teaches us a new way, because nothing else in life you've approached in this open way. You see, relationships we grasp, body is just like, 'What is something that makes it healthy?' and even meaning and all of these things in the world we try to grasp. Here, your grasping is met with frustration. That's what the jump is. All this frustration is your grasping not met with anything that you can tangibly hold on to and say, 'Ah, yes,' like that. So when you learn to accept this way of life, which is not a needy, a grasping, wanting way of life, it becomes like the flower's way. Like, what is the flower doing? It is fragrant to this natural being. It is not trying to call the bee, 'Come, come,' unless you're in a Venus flytrap or something. So this is the way of God. You just become naturally fragrant in the presence of your being and you are not trying to understand. No, you've not figured God out. You've not become like enlightened, you know, free. Who wants all of that stuff? It's like irrelevant to the mystery that is God. This is meaningless. Don't ever hanker after like all this stuff. These labels don't mean anything.

It is not trying to call the bee, 'Come, come, see,' unless you're in a Venus flytrap or something. So this is the way of God. You just become naturally fragrant in the presence of your being and you are not trying to understand. No, you've not figured God out. You've not become like enlightened, you know, free. Who wants all of that stuff? It's like irrelevant to the mystery that is God. This is meaningless. Don't ever hanker after all this stuff; these labels don't mean anything. And don't get into any debates about, 'Oh, what is your master?' In life, you frequently find that even the fragrance is not yours. It's just like you just are, and the fragrance is not true to you. Any box you put yourself into will become problematic. You become the cause of suffering. And they're saying today's conclusions are tomorrow's confusion. So we keep playing confusion, conclusion, confusion, conclusion. There's no end to that. The unclenched life, no head squinting.

Situations in life, circumstances, events—all of these actually are just terms for bundles of perception. We make meaning out of these bundles of perception and sensations. So this is what's happening. But independent of all of that, truly, the question to ask is: towards whom have I turned? Towards whom am I turning? And that is the only determinant of heaven and hell. Because in front of your senses could be a blob, you see. In fact, this is a blob of indecipherable light and sound. And if you turn towards the mind for resolution about what that is and what that means for us, then that is hell—instant hell. But if you turn towards God, if you turn towards the Satguru presence, that is the only heaven there is.

So, it is never in the content of the experience itself. It doesn't matter. The whole world could become like tomato soup or something; it doesn't matter. Content is not relevant, really. We are blessed to have found this flow of the river in our heart where instantly we are beyond time, beyond space, beyond body, beyond birth and death. It's no small discovery. It is not a trivial discovery. It is the end of life as we know it and the rebirth into a fresh view of life.

You can all smell the staleness of the old way. But somewhere it seems familiar and therefore comfortable. It seemed like a comfort zone we can comfortably inhabit, but I've been calling that a comfortable hell, and I don't wish that for anybody, let alone my children. So anytime you smell that staleness, just change tracks. Don't make excuses for it. Don't make excuses for anything at all because the mind may provide you enough. Turn to God instantly. Offer yourselves instantly. Turn into yourself from that presumed shape that you think you had. Come shapeless. Is there a greater blessing that we can receive in our life than to receive this grace to be able to swim in God? It is worth a million lifetimes.